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thefullwomb · 2 months

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Roommates Pt. 1

Hailey had come to college as a bright-eyed academic. She had been accepted to one of the top bio-anthropology programs in the country and fully intended to earn her PhD. She'd gotten through her freshman year without incident. She didn't party or chase romance. She was dedicated to her studies, and her 4.1 GPA proved it.

Then, something changed during her third year. She moved in with a new roommate. His name was James, and he was HOT. This change in her living arrangements had been made necessary because her landlord had dramatically raised her rent. What had been a decent, if utterly unimpressive, two bedroom apartment was now being marketed as "luxury off campus living". With the simple addition of the word "luxury" came a $700 per month rent hike. In a panic, Hailey had put out an ad for a roommate and accepted the first candidate who didn't seem like a total loser.

James was six feet tall and slim. His mop of curly brown hair and pale angular face looked like a sculpture brought to life. But his most striking feature was his emerald green eyes. They held an intensity that left Hailey weak in the knees if she held his gaze for too long. She wanted him from the moment she laid eyes on him.

She tried her best to get his attention, but flirting wasn't exactly a skill she had developed. More often than not, she ended up feeling like she was humiliating herself as she failed over and over to get James to take her hints. She couldn't figure out what she was doing wrong. Could it be that she just wasn't his type? Maybe he preferred taller girls or heavier girls, or maybe he didn't like girls at all. She had to know, were her efforts in vain. She worked up the nerve to ask him directly, but his reply was as vague an answer as she could imagine.

"Eh, I'm not super picky. I think all kinds of people are hot." He has said with a shrug of his shoulders

Hailey wanted to scream. Not picky? If he wasn't picky, then what was so wrong with her? She wasn't a supermodel, but she was far from ugly... wasn't she? She felt her self-confidence eroding. What was wrong with her, and why wouldn't James even give her a second look? She had to know.

It didn't take long for an opportunity to present itself. James had gone out to get dinner from the nearest Chinese food place. He had also left his bedroom door open and by the flickering blue how that slipped out of the doorway it appeared he'd even left his computer on. As she snuck into James' she felt like a creep. This was wrong. She was spying on her roommate. She should just let this go, give up, and go back to being a straight A student who ignored cute guys, she thought even as she tapped the space bar and the computer screen flared to life.

With that single keystroke, Hailey suddenly got an eye full of exactly what James' type was. His computer opened up to a gaming stream, but the streamer in question wasn't the stereotypical petite e-girl. Instead, this streamer, named Charlene, was immensely pregnant. She looked to be more belly than woman. Every inch of her insanely gravid middle moved with a riot of kicking, squirming babies. As she played her game, she bragged about just how big her subs were making her as she rubbed the almost absurdly round orb that seemed to dominate her form.

Hailey was blushing hard as she continued watching the stream. She was transfixed by this impossibly pregnant streamer. Her hands involuntarily began to rub her own flat belly as some deep, primal part of her began to awaken. She had never put much thought into having babies beyond imagining it as some far away possibility. But, in that moment, she craved being filled to bursting with her lovers, with James' offspring.

Suddenly, Hailey was snapped back to reality when she heard the front door being unlocked. James was home, and she was still in his room and on his computer without his knowledge. Hailey let out a small squeak as she hurriedly fled to the privacy of her own room. She laid on her bed, so wound up and horny that the thought of tackling James and forcing him to plant his babies in her womb almost sounded like a good idea... almost. Instead, she put her favorite vibrator between her legs and screamed her newly unlocked desires into a stack of pillows.

It took a few weeks for Hailey to come up with a plan. After all, how could she get the attention of a guy who was clearly VERY into pregnant girls without risking becoming a single mother? It turned out that the answer was surprisingly simple: she would carry a surrogate pregnancy. It was the perfect plan. She would get to live out her newly discovered pregnancy fetish, make a decent amount of money, and, hopefully, bag her crush.

She signed up to carry a set of quads just before Christmas break. She wanted to make sure that she'd be on summer vacation during her final trimester. It didn't take her long to stay showing, and by spring break came around, she looked ready to pop. Onlookers could have been forgiven for assuming that she was overdue with twins by the time summer vacation began. As she grew bigger, rounder, heavier, and more pregnant by the day, she made sure to put herself on display for James' benefit. She would waddle around the apartment in her pre pregnancy clothes, which clung to every curve of her gravid body. She made a big show of being stuck on the couch and needing James to help her up.

Finally, near the end of her eighth month, she was lying on her bed and attempting to lotion her belly. There was so much that she couldn't reach and the babies kicked and squirmed, making her belly bulge and writhe as she tried to fight off her stretch marks and soothed her overstretched skin. She hadn't expected it at the start of her pregnancy, but as she'd grown bigger and bigger, Hailey realized that it turned her on being too pregnant to rub her entire belly, too pregnant to get off the couch unassisted, too pregnant to walk out of the apartment without being winded. She imagined how much better it would be if the babies that had all but taken over her body were hers. Between her fantasy, her hormones, and the sensations of her womb packed tight with squirming babies, Hailey felt a climax building. She was so lost in her own lust that she forgot that James could hear her as she screamed his name and came with a shudder.

She nearly screamed again as James burst into her room thinking that his hugely pregnant roommate was in trouble.

“Are the babies coming?!” He asked, still panicking

Hailey’s head was still spinning from her orgasm. She could barely form a thought let alone think up a convincing excuse for screaming his name.

“I… umm… I uh… I needed you to.” She stammered, still rubbing her tremendous belly like a fidget toy “C-could you help me rub my belly?”

Still, confused and now a little bit flustered himself, James sat on the edge of Hailey's bed. As he began rubbing the coco butter onto his roommates belly he felt his pants growing tighter by the second. Since the moment they'd met he'd had a crush on her. One she got pregnant, and especially once she'd started showing, his crush had only become more pronounced. But he hadn't said anything, he had done his best to keep his feelings to himself. He was so scared that if he admitted his feelings that they wouldn't be reciprocated and that things would get awkward.

But, in that moment James' arousal managed to overpower his apprehension. “I think your really hot, and I've wanted to ask you out for a since I met you but I was scared you wouldn't like me and it would be awkward and I know you're pregnant and everything, but I think that's kinda hot and I know that probably sounds weird but… but I… uh…”

James' confession flowed out of him in a single, panicked breath. As he spoke, his cheeks developed a burning red blush. He felt like an idiot, but he had already committed. He couldn't unsay what he'd already confessed. Then he noticed that Hailey looked just as flustered as he felt.

“Fuck, I'm… I'm sorry that was stupid… I'm an idiot, I'll just go.” James said as he prepared to flee back to his own room

“Wait!” Hailey called out, she tried to jump out of bed, but the weight of her full womb kept her pinned in place. “I uh… I don't think it's stupid or weird, in fact I've had a crush on you since we met.”

“You did?” Asked James, almost too stunned to believe this was truly happening

“Yeah…” replied Hailey sheepishly

The two held each other's gaze for what felt like an eternity. The tension that gives between them was nearly electric. Then, James rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Hailey. He started into her eyes for one last moment before kissing her with the passion of a long lost lover. She melted in his arms and returned his kiss. It was impossible to tell who started it, but within moments they were stripping each other naked. Clothes flew to the floor with haphazard abandon.

“I want you, Hailey.” James said as if that wasn't the most obvious statement in the world at that very moment.

“I need you, James.” Hailey replied

In a moment Hailey was on her hands and knees. Her huge, pregnant belly pressed into the mattress as James took his place between her legs. His hips pressed against the pillowy curve of her ass and the tip of his cock slipped between the dripping wet lips of her pussy. He held his tip just at the entrance of her birth canal for a brief instant before slowly sliding the throbbing shaft of his manhood deep into Hailey.

They both let out moans of ecstasy as their bodies joined together in a primal union. James leaned forward and grabbed Hailey’s arms pulling them back as his hands did down to hold hers. She was rocked forward, balanced on the gravid orb of her womb as James began to thrust. His member hit spots that she didn't even know she had as he ravished her like an animal in heat.

Their moans and cries grew louder and faster as they approached the event horizons of their climaxes as one. Hailey could feel the babies in her womb moving with and thrashing, agitated by her weight pressing down on her belly and the violent shaking of James’ thrusts.

“I WANT YOUR BABIES!!” She cried out “I want you to get me pregnant. Please, PLEASE get me pregnant. I need to feel your babies inside me.”

“Fuck, Hailey I want to knock you up so fucking bad.”James replied, his voice carried a desperate edge that made it clear that the very thought of impending her was beginning him that much closer to blowing his load “I want to make you pregnant over and over again. I want to watch you waddle around with a heavy belly full of my kids forever. And I… just want… to keep you… pregnant FOREVER!!!!”

James' voice rose to a guttural shout and Hailey’s rose to match it as they came together in a moment of pure, carnal bliss. James cock exploded its hot load of his seed, plastering the walls of Hailey's pussy. Her walls quivered and milked his cock for every last drop of his potent sperm.

Exhausted and high on a potent cocktail of hormones, the two young lovers collapsed into a spooning snuggle and passed out. The last thing Hailey could remember before skipping into the velvet embrace of sleep was the feeling of James’ arm wrapping protectively around her belly.

A huge shoutout to the ever lovely @pr-g for inspiring and providing the image for this story. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: give her a follow, and you won't be disappointed.

I'll be posting part 2 very soon. When it's up, I'll be leaving a linking it in the comments of this post to make it a little easier to find. Stay tuned!

#preggo kink #preggophilia #huge pregnant belly #pregnancy #pregnant kink #pregnancy captions #pregnant captions #permanent pregnancy #pregnant fiction #surro verse #pregnant romance

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redflagshipwriter · 3 months

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Hot Ghouls in Your Area

Chapter 2

It was a very weird ride. Danny felt like he was an authority on uncomfortable and strange conversations, given his bizarre family and all the experiences he'd had: but it was exquisitely uncomfortable sitting next to his bride sacrifice and making conversation.

The guy didn't offer his name. He was- honestly, he was built. Danny tried not to get caught visually measuring how absurdly broad the guy's shoulders were. He was weirdly offended that the cultists had sent him someone who was more ripped than he was.

"What's that?" The guy prompted. Jason. This guy's name was Jason. It was a little hard to keep in mind given he didn't really look like a Jason. He looked like… The Red Biker 👻😱🩸 or some shit.

Danny mentally rewound his own babbling and brightened when he realized that there was at least some interest in NASA's newest telescope. He infodumped on rote. It genuinely was an interesting topic! But he'd told 3 people about it already so it didn't take all of his attention.

At one point, Jason pinched his middle finger and used the grip to pull off his glove. Danny swallowed. He tried not to stare at the first glimpse of skin. It was not super light or super dark– a little tanner than Danny, maybe. Not that that said much when he was living like a cave creature in a dorm room, trying to get the grades to be an astronaut.

'He's human,' Danny thought. Of course he was, he'd been sent from earth, but-

He just felt like a ghost.

The confusion put his hackles up. It was weird to perceive this guy as a possible threat. But he wasn't! He was just some hot dummy who got caught by friggin Jeremy Waters. Jeremy. Come on. It didn't get much sadder than that.

But overall? He could see why the Infinite Realms had gotten mixed up enough to accept this guy. Red was definitely weird enough to be a ghost, dressed up for the combination war front/biker bar/club. He hadn't made a move to take off his ugly motorcycle helmet the whole time they'd been talking. It was kind of creepy, to be honest.

The most disturbing part was that he smelled, like, really good. He smelled like sexy death and Danny kinda wanted to roll around in it like the world's most educated cat.

It was with some relief that Danny bounded away from his semi husband, up the stairs to Clockwork. "You know who it is and why I'm here!" He hollered, hands making a megaphone shape around his mouth. "Help me! I'm too young to be a child bride."

"Technically," Clockwork said, floating pleasantly into view, "you are too old to be a child bride. As you are not a child, Danny."

He waved that off. "I'm a kid on the inside," he dismissed. "And 19 is basically a high schooler."

"As you say." Clockwork drifted away. Danny followed. "How is your university coursework?"

"It's fine." Danny shrugged. "The Gen Eds are giving me war flashbacks to Mr. Lancer, though."

"You liked him," Clockwork said.

Danny bristled. "I did not!"

He kinda had. Mr. Lancer could have been a lot worse.

That was beside the point. Danny caught up to his ghost mentor. "I can't be distracted from this," he said, aiming for stern. "There's some human out there who wants to go home. I also want him to go home. How do we make that happen ?"

"Why Danny, have you forgotten about portals?"

Danny scowled. "You know what I mean," he groused. "I want to send him home single. Unattached. Not married to me at all."

Clockwork finally stopped moving and looked directly at him. His large eyes held only a kind of curiosity. "I suppose that you could banish him. That would have the effect of ending your relationship."

Danny hesitated. He'd learned that accepting suggestions on their face could go very badly. "That seems kinda harsh," he said. "Would there be any repercussions of that?"

Clockwork hummed from the back of his throat. "Yes, it would prevent young Jason from becoming a ghost when he passes again. Excuse me, I want that shelf behind you."

Danny moved out of the way on reflex before he processed those words. "That sounds bad."

The older ghost seemed to shrug. "The Ghost king can banish ghosts, and your paramour is ghostly enough to qualify. It would solve your current dilemma."

He deliberately chose not to respond to the word 'paramour.'

"I'm actually looking for a solution that doesn't interfere with the state of his soul and afterlife," Danny said dryly. Then he blinked. "You're really gonna call him Jason?"

Clockwork reached up and withdrew a metal object from the shelf. It clicked in his hand. "Indeed."

Danny waited for another divorce suggestion. When Clockwork didn't give one, he groaned. "How do I find another solution?" He asked, tired. This was another test, wasn't it? It was a chance for him to problem solve on his own.

That netted him a beaming smile. "You should take him to the royal library."

"And look for information about ghost divorces?" Danny asked. Clockwork gave him an enigmatic smile.

He chose to believe that was a yes. Danny patted his mentor's shoulder. "Thanks!" He shouted, already turning on his heel. "I'll do that. Have a good day!"

"Goodbye, Danny."

Jason hadn't moved at all, sitting weirdly tense and tall in the passenger seat. Danny gave him a nervous smile as he jumped in.

"Did you find out anything?" Jason asked. His voice was even enough to obscure whatever it was he thought, and the helmet made the words come out kinda flat and mechanical.

Danny winced. "Yes and no," he said, trying to find cheerful. "The first solution seems kinda bad, to be honest, so let's go to the library and look for another one!"

"...Ghosts have public libraries?" Jason said.

"No," Danny said. And then he frowned. "Maybe? I don't know. I haven't seen one but I haven't been here long. We're going to Pariah's creepy old castle to look at his library." He started up the Specter Speeder and took off. "It's big. And he was a real creep, so he probably had, uh." He cleared his throat. "Paramours." His face was getting hot and red. Maybe it wasn't obvious. He tried to look unaffected. "Probably why that ritual was out there," he babbled. Wow, the minutes separating their destinations felt very long when he was digging a verbal hole. "He probably had a lot of sacrifices he accepted, maybe that's where the skeleton army came from actually."

"Skeleton army?" Jason managed to sound incredulous through the world's ugliest motorcycle helmet. "How do ghosts and skeletons both exist in proximity?" He cleared his throat. "I mean, if you don't need the physical body to exist, why would anyone retain their corpse?"

Danny laughed nervously. "Yeah, that's weird," he agreed.

'Don't ask me afterlife questions,' he mentally begged. 'I just work here. I don't know the answers.'

"Metaphysically-"

"Do you like sports?" Danny interrupted in a high voice.

Jason paused. "No. Do you?"

"...Not really," Danny admitted, thinking of getting ganged up on in dodgeball and knocked down in basketball.

They existed in what felt like a confused silence for a few minutes. Danny parked the Speeder outside of the castle and I clicked his seatbelt with a rush of relief. "We're here," he said. He threw open the top.

Jason didn't move from where he was flat against the backrest, only lifting his head. "... Should I come too?"

Danny blinked down at him and waved a hand in invitation. "Yeah, let's go. This is kinda my place now so I can invite you in."

Jason moved forward abruptly, like he'd just gotten unstuck from the seat. Something about it looked wrong to his hindbrain. But Danny dismissed it and started off at a jog. It wasn't his business if Jason was a weird little guy. (Weird big guy? It didn't sound the same, but Jason wasn't petite.)

Jason paused on the battlements. Danny looked back and tried to see it from his perspective. The architecture was jagged, pitch black, and without any of the friendly colorful touches a castle should have. "It's kind of creepy," he said apologetically. "Pariah has just the worst vibe. Rancid energy."

"...Is it smart to say that?" Jason wondered. He started walking again.

Danny shrugged. "What's he gonna do to me?" He asked rhetorically. "Get his butt kicked again?"

#red hot ghouls #dcdp #deadonmain #dp x dc

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shadowandlightt · 3 months

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Of Nightmares and Memories | eight | Azirel X reader

Series Warnings: Kidnapping. Mistreatment. Cursing. Pining. Violence. Depression. Talks of suicide. Eventual smut

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven

A/N: I'm very nervous about this part and the ones coming after it. I hope you still enjoy it, even though it's probably what you're expecting.

When the darkness faded, all you could see was the Moonstone Palace that you’d spent so much time in as a child. You could finally fill my lungs with air, a sweet jasmine scent floating in it. Feyre was gently laid on a couch in the center of the great room. Mor, who didn’t seem to know what to do, ran forward and wrapped her arms around you, squeezing you so tightly the newly fresh air was knocked from your lungs.

“You were dead,” She cried, “We mourned you. For years we mourned.”

“I’m sorry,” You choke out, “I tried, for years I tried.”

But then you gave up. And you accepted your fate in the Spring Court. You didn’t fight hard enough when Amerantha still had control. Or in the days following her fall. You could have made it, surely you could have. You thought you could winnow short distances at that point, though you hadn’t tested it. You should have been able to jump from place to place until you made it to the border of the Night Court. Until you made it to safety. But you didn’t. You threw up in the rose and gave up.

You gave up on them.

Dread filled you. Because how could you explain everything that happened to you? How could you explain that you’d given up on ever seeing any of them again, and that your only thought had been of death. Because then, maybe the Mother would grant you access to your own mother. Maybe she would allow you to look after Rhys and the others from whatever world exists beyond your own.

Guilt swirled in with the dread. How could you tell your brother that you’d been praying for death for hundreds of years? How could you tell him that your mother didn’t beg for herself that day, or her wings, she begged for you. Begged for them to spare you and send you on your way. Begged as they started to cut into your back, leaving behind two long and ugly scars.

How could you explain any of it?

“How are you alive?” Rhys questioned, pain lingering in his eyes.

“Tamlin begged for my life that day,” You reply, feeling an icy cold settle over you.

You hadn’t spoken of it. Hadn’t voiced what happened that day. Saying it now makes it all too real. Before you could imagine that your mother was still alive, flying around Valaris, but now….now saying it aloud you knew she was gone. You could feel it deep in your bones.

“He begged his father and brother, said it would be better to keep me as a bargaining chip,” You explain, “He ended up just keeping me as a toy, after everything happened.”

Then a thought accrued to you. Tamlin was so desperate to get Rhys to release Feyre from their bond, he said he would do anything. Perhaps he would have let you go…perhaps he would’ve finally used you as a bargaining chip against your brother.

“He probably would’ve offered me on a silver platter for you to release Feyre,” You laugh.

“All these years, you’ve been right there?” Rhys asked, voice cracking.

It's been years since you’d seen him cry. The stone exterior was crumbling, leaving behind a broken boy who lost his mother and sister in the same day, only to have one returned to him. You want to move to comfort him, but you’re locked in where you stand. As if there is a spell over you, keeping you from moving.

You’re afraid to move, truly. Because if you move you might wake up and find that this is all a dream. A beautiful and cruel dream. So you stay put as the tears fall from both yours and Rhys’ eyes.

“All this time,” You reply, “I’ve been locked away in the Manor House. I was there that night that you and father came, and I was there when you first met Feyre, and every moment after that.”

“Calanmai,” he says suddenly, “You were there that night. Gods above, you spoke to me.”

The tears are falling harder now. Unstoppable against the emotions you both feel. Mor is still standing close to you, you could almost lean against her for support. But she’s somehow also giving you and Rhys your space to work this out.

“I was praying to the Gods and to the Mother and to the Cauldron that you would be able to see beyond the glamor and see me,” You verify, “That’s why I said I was like the wind, I hoped you would hear it and realize.”

His head shook, “I couldn’t allow myself to believe. I heard you, Mother I heard you, but I couldn’t believe it. You didn’t smell like you.”

“Scents change, besides, I was wrapped in Lucien’s clothing to disguise my scent,” You explain, “I expect I smelled like Lucien for a long time. He was the only constant visitor I had for years.”

“Y/N-” His voice broke as he surged forward to wrap you in his arms, “My sweet baby sister. I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head. If anyone should feel guilty about all of this, it should be you. You should have fought harder that day. Even at such a young age, you could have misted all of them if you really wanted to. But you’d never killed another fae before. Never killed another living thing. So you hesitated and that was long enough for them to overpower you both and kill your mother. They’d come for Rhys that day, but they got a better prize in the form of the Princess of the Night Court.

“No, you don’t get to feel bad about this,” You warn him, “You are not to blame.”

“If I hadn't trusted him…if I would’ve just met you both in the woods thay day,” He all but cries out.

“No, it’s no one's fault but Tamlin and his family’s,” You stay sternly, hoping maybe one day you’ll believe it.

Maybe one day you’ll finally believe that you aren’t to blame for your mother’s death. That none of it was your fault. She had no real power of her own, no way to protect herself. It was on you to do that. It was Rhys’ responsibility to protect you both. Not that you would ever, ever blame him for what happened. He couldn’t have known what Tamlin was planning with his family. He couldn’t have known that his friend wanted him dead because they saw him as such a threat.

Suddenly your body felt heavy and weighed down. You couldn’t move even if you wanted to. All you felt was pure exhaustion. Your eyes flutter and Rhys seems to notice the change in your body.

“You’re exhausted, aren’t you?” he questions.

You try to smile, but you know it doesn't reach your eyes, “I don’t sleep well anymore.”

He sighs deeply and wraps an arm around you as he slowly leads you towards the bedrooms, “I can have a tonic brought up for you.”

“No need,”You shake your head, “I’m sure just being back here will put me at ease.”

You wished you believed the words you were saying. But you didn’t. You weren’t sure that anything would put you at ease again. All you could feel was anxious energy swirling in your belly. Threatening to boil over at any moment. You couldn’t fully wrap your mind around the fact that you were free. Couldn’t fully understand that you were here, and safe, and with your family again. Or at least part of them.

“Cassain and Azirel won’t know what to do with themselves,” Rhys lets out a small laugh as he wipes at his eyes.

“You can’t tell them,” You halt suddenly, “Oh, Rhys, you can’t. I’m not ready.”

“Don’t you want to see them again?” he questions, brows drawing in.

“Of course I do, but I-” You shake your head, feeling your whole body start to shake.

How could you explain it to him in a way that would make sense? How could he understand where your head was at? Seeing them would push you over the edge. Seeing Az…knowing his shadows would tell him your darkest secrets…you couldn’t handle it. You couldn’t handle seeing him disappointed in you…disgusted with you. It would break you in more ways than Tamlin ever could.

To lose Azirel was like to lose the air you breathe. It would kill you to lose him. You could feel it deep within you. You wouldn’t survive Azriel turning his back upon you. So it was best that he just didn’t know you lived. Maybe you could live out the rest of your days in a cabin in the mountains. Yes…that would be good. You were used to the solitude anyway.

“You can’t tell them,” You begged your brother, “Please Rhys. I can’t bear them knowing.”

“But Y/N, they’re our family,” He tried to reason with you.

“Please Rhys,” you shake even harder, “I can’t bear it. I’m not ready.”

“Okay,” He finally relented, “Okay. I won’t tell them.”

Your body sags with his agreement. Your breath comes out in heavy pants, because your lungs seem to be constricting and not allowing the proper amount of air into them. Everything just feels wrong now. Nothing feels right. You feel as if you shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be allowed to have a moment of happiness with your brother.

You shouldn’t be allowed happiness when it’s your fault that your mother is dead. You should have done more to save her that day, instead of going limp in the arms of Tamlin’s brothers. You should have done everything in your power to save her. Instead you let her die, and you still live. It would have been better if you just died that day.

“Here we are,” Rhys said, unaware of the thoughts you were having, “Try to sleep. I’ll come check on you in a while.”

“Okay,” You sigh, pushing the door open, “Rhys?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Little Star. Now sleep, before you drop in a heap on the floor.”

You couldn’t sleep though. No matter how hard you try. Because all you could think of was how it should have been you to die. It should have been you, and not your mother. She could have helped Rhys with his transition into High Lord, she could’ve been there for Cassian and Azirel, who desperately needed a mother.

But instead you lived. And now you’re too cowardly to tell them that you lived. Too cowardly to ask to return home to Valaris. Too cowardly to do anything.

Rhys didn’t come back for hours, when he did you pretended to be asleep. All the while tears quietly slid down your cheeks. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Your life wasn’t supposed to happen like this. What did you do to make The Mother punish you so?

“I’m taking Feyre to Valaris,” He spoke, somehow knowing you’re awake, “Please consider coming with us.”

“No,” You say firmly, not rolling over to see him, “I’d like to stay here.”

“It’s your home, Y/N,” He pleaded, “You can’t hide from it forever.”

“I can’t go back Rhys,” You can’t explain it to him. He would never let you out of his sight if he knew.

“Please consider it,” He begs, “Please, Little Star, I don’t want to be separated from you again.”

“Then don’t leave,” You snap at him.

“You know I have to go back.”

“Then take her and get out,” You snarl, “I’m not going back.”

“Y/N-”

“Go Rhysand!” You yell, reaching for anything to throw at him.

You can feel yourself losing control of the little power you had access to. Darkness seeping from your body. There were no stars in this darkness, only a black void. Much like the cocoon that Feyre created. Only this was something you never did. Your darkness always had stars, but now you aren’t sure if you could conjure them even if you tried.

That light inside you had been snuffed out long ago. It was only now that you realized it. It was only now that you accepted it as the truth. Your light was gone, the stars were gone. You weren’t Rhy’s Little Star anymore. You were something worse. Something made hard from years of captivity and cruelty. You weren’t sure you would even recognize yourself if you looked in the mirror.

“Fine,” You’d never heard him sound so defeated. You were sure if he had wings they would be dragging on the ground as he turned to leave your room. He stopped at the door and looked back at you, “I’ll send Mor to check in on you.”

“Don’t bother,” You mumble, “I’ll be fine.”

Only you wouldn’t be fine. You weren’t fine. And You weren’t sure that you ever would be fine again. The darkness threatened to swallow you whole and you wanted to let it. You wanted to give into it and let it take all that you were. Maybe it would be better that way. Easier.

When your door clicks shut and you hear Rhys’ footsteps moving away from you, you allow yourself to fall apart. When the house goes silent you let out an anguished cry loud enough to almost shake the whole mountain. Life wasn’t supposed to happen this way. You were supposed to be overjoyed at being freed, not whatever this is.

You feel as if you’re going to rip yourself apart, and for a moment you wish you would. You wish death would just come for you. You yearned for the sweet release that death would provide. Because at least then you might be able to find peace.

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@historygeekqueen @hnyclover @saltedcoffeescotch @queerqueenlynn @thelov3lybookworm @one-big-fangirl @witchymomfrien @wallacewillow0773638 @sstrohma @maddybraps @minnieoo @mariahoedt @amara-moonlight @st0rmyt @annamariereads16 @hunterksmith @sleepylunarwolf @sh4nn @emryb @mikatanazaki @nickishadow139 @ilovespideyyy @mysticalfuncollectorus @judig92 @tele86

#acomaf #acotar #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #acotar fic #azriel acotar #azriel fanfic #azriel shadowsinger

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poppadom0912 · 4 months

Text

FBI

Characters: Kelly Severide x Reader, half of firehouse 51

Warnings: Brief mentions of a crime idk.

Summary: This wasn't exactly what they were thinking when an fbi agent strolled into their firehouse.

A/N: I had such a nice plan for this little beauty but then I messed up and then I remembered I had homework due tomorrow that I haven't done so please enjoy this ugly piece of writing. Kinda don't want to publish this but I need to feed you lot before I get swamped in holiday homework.

"Hey, I'm looking for a Kelly Severide."

You said, asking the first person you found. It was your first time in the firehouse and this definitely wasn't how you planned it to be but you could make this work.

"Lieutenant Kelly Severide?" The woman rose her brow, her voice coming across as soft as she looked. You couldn't deny she was pretty and taking into account her blonde hair and the word paramedic on her uniform caused your brows to rise ever so slightly.

"Oh! You must be Sylvie Brett." You smiled, holding out your hand for the paramedic to shake which she did with much confusion and slight fear. "Agent Y/N Y/L/N."

"You work for the fbi." She stated, fidgeting with her fingers once your hands were released. It was clear she was shocked and you could understand why; your gun in its holster, your shiny golden badge and the bold yellow letters printed on the back of your government issued jacket.

"Yes I do." You replied with a tight lipped smile, annoyed that your job was the first impression everyone at the firehouse would be getting from you; these men and women were family to Kelly and greeting them for the first time ever in your uniform wasn't what you wanted.

Before Sylvie could fully shake off her shock, someone butted into the conversation, having spotted and recognising you.

"Y/N, you're back." Matt smiled, his arms wide inviting your for a hug which you immediately accepted. The captain was the one person in Kelly's life that knew of your existence since there was no hiding you from his roomate, especially since your stay became more permanent.

The hug was what caught everyone's attention. Sylvie talking to someone was normal but Matt hugging a stranger wasn't, hence all the heads turning and when all their eyes widened, you weren't surprised.

"Feds." Two men whispered in sync upon laying eyes on you, the others stood out of their seats and came around to you in the middle of the common room.

"What do the feds want with us now?" One man asked, crossing his arms with an attitude that you could smell from a mile away. Maybe it was his accent or it could've been his snarky tone which got him a quick reprimand from the captain but you knew his name.

"Christopher Herrmann, right?" You pointed at him, your smile brightening when he did a double take at the name you guessed correct.

"It's probably creepy that I know all your names and I really wished that we could've met under better circumstances but I will explain everything." You said, sheepishly smiling at the very confused group of firefighters.

"Y/N! What are you doing here?" Kelly noticed you from afar, it was hard not to recognise the three yellow letter the second he turned the corner.

Within seconds, Kelly enveloped you into his arms and despite the reputation that you wanted to maintain, you folded and accepted the hug, wrapping your arms around his waist, contently inhaling the comforting scent that always followed your boyfriend.

"Okay I'm sorry but who are you?"

"Agent Y/N Y/L/N." You replied automatically, not even thinking about leaving out the agent. Biting the inside of your lip, you internally cursed at yourself.

"She's my girlfriend." Kelly smirked, his arm happily resting across your shoulders where he could keep you close to him. "Whose actually supposed to be in Texas right about now, what happened?"

"Everything's fine. We apprehended our guy earlier than expected and there might've been a gunfight and there's a small possibility I was in the middle but a graze is nothing." You said with ease since it was your job and you loved everything it entailed but to your crowd, you seemed like a lunatic and a hero combined in one.

"You're kidding." Kelly looked down at you in concern, his heart rate picking up at the mere thought of you getting hurt, even if you brushed it off as a papercut.

Before you could explain further that a graze inflicted zero pain, a man you could name purely based off the aura that surrounded him entered the common room.

"Agent, what can we do for you?" The tallest man came forward and asked, his hands shaking yours before they were on his hips. From his stance and the way his voice was so gentle but commandeering made it easy for you to deduce his position in the firehouse; it also helped that Kelly continuously boasted about the men and women of 51.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your day chief." You firstly apologised, sheepishly smiling at the firefighters who were shocked at Kelly's arm still wrapped around your waist. "I need nothing but a few minutes with lieutenant Severide and I'll be out your hair."

"Don't be silly." Kelly shook his head, looking down at you with a slight frown. "Why don't you stay for lunch, you can't just appear out of nowhere and not eat with us."

"I have so much paperwork I left behind. My boss will have my throat if they're not done." You tried fighting Kelly but he looked at you with such big eyes that you wanted to drown yourself in and a slight pout was making itself known and before you knew it, you were caving in.

"Alright, just a few bites and then I have to go."

It was safe to say, some feds were okay.

#one chicago #one chicago imagine #one chicago x reader #chicago fire x reader #chicago fire #kelly severide #kelly severide x reader #kelly severide x y/n #kelly severide fanfiction #kelly severide imagine #one chicago fanfiction #kelly severide fic

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whetstonefires · 1 year

Text

So like, I'm pretty darn sure Mo Xuanyu did not actually make a pass at Jin Guangyao.

For several reasons, like for one thing hitting on your own actual brother who is also your boss is genuinely insane behavior, in a way nothing else we know about the guy actually matches, other than his reputation for being crazy which mostly seems to originate from the same point as the sexual harassment allegations. which tracks because even with rampant societal homophobia, that's such a crazy thing to do people would question it if it didn't come paired with the information that he's insane.

Then there's the fact that if that had actually happened, there's basically no way master spin artist jgy would have let it get out, because actually experiencing that would trigger his sense-of-uncleanliness issues so hard.

But what we see is that somehow Everyone Knows that it happened, but also that Jin Guangyao totally didn't tell anyone, because he's too merciful and kind and respectable. It just mysteriously leaked somehow that this private scandal happened.

(Also, to step up a meta level, the gay goth kid who was never quite accepted into his own family and wound up self-destructing was in fact guilty of the homophobic allegations spread by the powerful man who manipulates reputation for personal advantage? This is not the kind of story where that would be true. The thematic dissonance is too much.)

The only way it's believable that mxy made a move on jgy is if jgy spent a long time maneuvering him into it, hinting and deniably flirting and just generally being maximum skeeze, just a huge elaborate incestuous honeypot, just to bait a 'ruined reputation' trap. Which makes no sense at all.

I don't think jgy is necessarily above that kind of creepy grooming behavior but I do think he would hate it, and definitely wouldn't resort to it when sowing rumors would work just as well. and expose him to less risk.

So Mo Xuanyu didn't do it.

So what we've got is that Jin Guangyao systematically obliterated this kid's credibility.

No one would listen to anything he said after being expelled in that sort of context, especially anything against Jin Guangyao, whom he now has obvious motive to smear. This was a preemptive strike against some kind of leak.

It's exactly the kind of thing jgy would do--it targets individual vulnerability, leverages the weak points in Mo Xuanyu's reputation into gaping chasms, in a way that associates jgy with scandal but makes him personally look better. also shows signs of jgy projecting his own issues onto others. The MO fits.

And his motive is easy to construct: Mo Xuanyu had had access to his secrets, such as Wei Wuxian's manuscripts and probably a lot of the other ugly shit. And Jin Guangyao needed him silenced, due to some thing or other, but as with SiSi didn't want to have to kill him.

(A fascinating thing about jgy as a villain is the moments where he yields to sentiment pretty consistently contribute to his destruction.)

But then we come around to: so why didn't Mo Xuanyu sic Wei Wuxian on Jin Guangyao, then?

In cql wwx does have a curse cut for jgy, to keep him in the plot and create an additional open storyline to resolve, since viewers are gonna be denied romantic catharsis, but in cql the homophobia plotline isn't there because all the gay is censored, and mxy allegedly hit on qin su instead. which is less utterly unhinged to do though still big wtf.

In the book, mxy summoned the Yiling Patriarch just to kill the Mos. (Which he didn't even do lmao.)

So I've always been sort of poking at that, like if you're destroying your own soul to get revenge, why spare the person who deliberately ruined your life?

Even if he had done the thing, it was weird! Maybe even weirder; if you're in a headspace where making sexual advances anyone should be able to predict are unwelcome seems like a good idea in the first place, there's a pretty good chance getting punished for them isn't going to make you think you were in the wrong. Otoh there is a zone where he could have done it, gotten the backlash, cleared his head a bit, realized it was fucked up to do, and therefore not held a grudge in that particular direction, but it's still weird. (And also he definitely didn't do the thing.)

But if he was so angry, why was he not angry at Jin Guangyao? Who definitely kicked him out of the Sect, all else aside?

And then I looked at the passage in Jin sect where we swap to Jin Ling's pov and he tells us one of the few first-hand things we hear about Mo Xuanyu: He thought Jin Guangyao was the most amazing person in the whole world. He adored him.

And being betrayed and rejected by him didn't turn that into resentment. Even though he resented the other side of his family enough to want them gratuitously murdered.

So you know what I think happened?

I think Mo Xuanyu thinks it was an honest misunderstanding. That Jin Guangyao, his idol, falsely concluded that his gay little brother was creeping on him based on a misinterpretation of his admiring behavior, and was appropriately revolted. And that Mo Xuanyu doesn't blame him for it. He blames himself.

He went back to his mother's family to rot genuinely feeling like the ruination of his life was his own fault for being creepy. And died like that.

Because of that, to a considerable extent. How can you bend any of your will to saving yourself, to getting out of an abusive situation and seeking a better one, when you don't think you deserve to be saved?

Fucks me up.

#hoc est meum #mdzs #mo xuanyu #meta #internalized homophobia #homophobia #suicide #abuse #gaslighting #the untamed #cql

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yurinaa-world · 5 months

Note

PLEASE DO A GOJO MEMORIAL POST 🙏🙏🙏🙏ANS SOME HEADCANNON PLS ASWELL TO MEMORIALIZE OUR KING 🕊️🕊️

GOJO MEMORIAL POST

Characters: Gojo x Gender-Neutral Reader

Synopsis: enemies to lovers headcanons of teenage gojo.

Warnings: Fluff and spelling mistakes, not proof-reading angst to comfort, mentions of geto leaving, not writing for jjk!

Notes: took me 50 years to finish this but I did it :)) btw I'm just writing this because my friend was begging me. I'm not writing for JJK right now might change way later in the future. this is just going to go into my specials

𝒯𝑒𝑒𝓃𝒶𝑔𝑒! 𝒮𝒶𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓊 𝒢𝑜𝒿𝑜

Teenage Gojo! Jumps at the chance to bother you; what are you busy with? well, not busy enough for him not to bother you. You always try to not give Gojo a reaction; if you're lucky, he’ll get bored and go harass someone else.

Teenage Gojo! That barges into your mission: takes all of the attention and puts it on himself, making it worse for you since the infamous Satoru Gojo from the Gojo clan is here.

Teenage Gojo! Getting pouty and being all dramatic when you end up getting extremely mad at him, like how dare he just barge in the middle of your mission when he shouldn’t even be there? It's so frustrating now that you have to take care of him and his whiny self, asking for attention.

Teenage Gojo! Getting confused: why haven’t you shown up at school already?

Teenage Gojo! Trying to get your forgiveness by sending you loads of gifts as an apology, he’s really sorry, okay? There he said it. Please take him back, or he’ll sulk at the front door of your dorm!

Teenage Gojo! Who denies even liking you when Geto and Shoko ask? But from the evidence of him going out of his way to talk to you and giving you a gift, it’s hard to believe otherwise.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Teenage Gojo! Isn’t obsessed with you? Of course everyone would believe otherwise. You're fun to mess with, especially when you get mad. You look hot when you're mad or whenever you yell at him, your arms crossed and brows furrowed, with a glare in your eyes that would make anyone fall to their knees, even him.

Teenage Gojo! Is it more delusional to say that he doesn’t like you than to make up fake scenarios of you and him in his head, like what if you start dating each other? Once it slipped out, Goo and Shoko heard about his thoughts.

Geto and Shoko tease him, Teenage Gojo! Maybe he likes you; his heart beats so loudly around you; whenever he gets you mad, he asks for forgiveness; gives you really expensive gifts; and always wants to be around you.

Once Teenage Gojo! accepts his crush on you, it just gets worse for you, always dragging you to places like the beach or the amusement park. Worse comes to worse when he starts to flirt with you, telling you to pick up lines or calling by some weird variation of your name.

You like him well, just a little. He's a little cute, but it's just ruined by his ugly and annoying personality. If he found that out, he would never let you live it down!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Teenage Gojo! Wasn’t okay after Geto had left; he stopped talking to everyone and even stopped bothering you—no calls, no showing up at your front door, and making himself home in your house. Nothing, which made you, for the first time, go to him and comfort him.

Seeing him in such a disheveled state that his hair was in, those black glasses didn’t cover his eyes, but he was without them; they were pink, and nothing but silence. He couldn’t say anything since you already knew what happened to everybody else.

Teenage Gojo! Who immediately grabbed you and hugged you tightly, face first into your chest? You felt wet tears from Gojo on your chest; you caressed his hair, and you stayed there in silence.

That’s how you spent the next couple of days with each other, as you sort of took care of him.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Gojo's whole room was clean and quiet, which gave you an eerie feeling. You were in the small kitchen, making soup for Gojo, while he was in the room under the covers of his bed, just lying there in silence.

Looking at him made you sympathetic to him. You might not have liked him, but you didn’t want to see him in this state.

When the hot soup is finished, go over to the drawer, grab the metal ladle, the glass soup bowl, and the little spoon with the tray; put the bowl to the side, take the ladle, and stir around the soup before pouring it into the small bowl.

Putting the soup-filled bowl onto the tray and taking it to Gojo's room, where he was lying under the covers.

Putting the tray onto the side table beside the bed, "Gojo,” you whisper, gently shaking him, which makes him get out from under the covers, his eyes still swollen.

"I made you soup.” You grabbed the soup and put it in front of him. He hadn’t been eating for a bit now. "No, but are you going to eat this?" Taking the spoon, stirring the soup before scooping it up, blowing it, and holding the spoon in front of his mouth

He looked at you with those tired blue eyes before finally drinking the soup, and immediately sticking out his tongue, “You’re a terrible cook,” he dramatically gagged, “I’m not.” “So are!” Gojo retorted back, making you blush in embarrassment.

“I was trying my best since I was worried.” You looked sideways, and he just went silent before moving the soup to the backside table and dragging you into bed with him, basically on top of him.

“Comfort me like this and not with your terrible cooking,” he laughs. “You! I’m fine at cooking!” You banter with each other like you used to, but you're not complaining. It was better than the sad, pitiful sight of Gojo you had seen before.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Note: That's all I could come up with :P

if you liked this, consider tipping me on ko-fi! it'd mean a lot!

#✧*:･ﾟ✧:･ Yurinna's Writing :･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧#gojo x reader fluff #gojo x you #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo drabbles #satoru gojo x reader #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #jjk x you #gojo headcanons #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk drabbles #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x y/n

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cobrabobra · 1 year

Text

Dating Carl headcanons:

I think the most important part that people often forget about Carl is a teenager, ani insecure one. How could be not be if he literally has a hole in his face?

He surely knows that his skills are exceptional, that he knows how to handle things, that he's brave and pretty fucking cool, but every teenage boy has his insecurities and Carl is no exception.

I could imagine him being anxious after arriving in Alexandria, seeing that there are boys his age, he begins to think that maybe you'd leave him, that he was your boyfriend because he was the only choice.

He constantly tries to show you that he is in fact the best option for you, trying to protect you, provide for you, going on runs alone just to get you something. He's willing to risk his life just to make you see what he'd do for you.

And that brings another problem, Carl risking his life all of the time. Going alone to the woods, going to the Sanctuary, provoking Negan and his people. But I think that's a mix of frustration, being angry at how things are and wanting to change them and the need to show everyone that he's independent and capable of handling himself.

Another one of Carl's insecurities is not being able to express his emotions very well, he's used to bottling everything up until it explodes and he doesn't want to do that to you, but he doesn't know how to do it differently. He's scared to share, scared that you won't care or be troubled by it when you already have a lot of things on your head, he's scared that you'll get scared of him, that he'll push you away if he shares.

He never considered himself as handsome, he always was the pretty boy type, but that didn't bother him if it didn't bother you. Well, it didn't bother him until he got shot, then he wasn't pretty or handsome or anything other than a disgusting, ugly freak. He tried to hide that it bothered him, that he felt you didn't love him anymore, that you were scared of him, or grossed out. Which you probably were, everyone would be, but it quickly became normal, it wasn't gross or scary, it wasn't beautiful, it was normal, it was a part of him.

"Carl, are you here?" you knocked on the bathroom door, he was in there for quite a while and you were worried. "Can I come in?"

"No, please, don't" his voice was weak and shaky, like he was crying.

"Carl, please. At least tell me what's happening" you begged, your heart beating hard in your chest, you were scared, you needed to know what happened.

"It's just- it's my eye" he sighed, trying to calm himself, he didn't want to look weak in front of you. "I'm okay, just don't come in"

"Alright, I won't. Just- you know I love you, right? Nothing will change that" it was a promise, it didn't matter what he'd look like, what he'd become.

Carl never fully accepted his eye, but it became easier to live with it, thanks to you, he understood that this was a part of his body, that it can't be changed and that it didn't change anything between the two of you, that helped a lot.

You helped him a lot, not just with the way he looked at himself, with his emotions, but you saved him countless times, you cared for him, protected him and he wanted to do the same for you. He never was the best with expressing his feelings so that was his way of showing you his love.

You still did the usual couple things, holding hands, kissing, cuddling, fuck, Carl started to panic the second you were beyond his reach. You were his safe place and he needed you all the time.

It's just the talking about his feelings part that was hard for him.

He wasn't the romantic type, he didn't get you flowers or jewelry, but he made breakfast for you when he woke up before you, he made sure to wrap you up in a blanket when you were taking a nap on the couch. He showed his love through doing these little things for you.

He loves spending time with you, baking together, reading together, taking care of judith together, going on walks together, showering together, everything you did, he wanted to be close, to keep an eye on you.

But that doesn't mean he's clingy, he wants to be near, not to sit in your lap and kiss you all the time (he kinda does want to, but he doesn't do it).

If anything happens to you, I pity the fool that tries to stop Carl from being with you. He'll kick and punch, threaten and beg, anything to be there for you when you need him.

And if someone did something to you, don't worry, they're already dead, we all know that Carl's a little psycho and he'll do everything for his family. He tries to be calm and rational but if somebody lays thair hand on you he simply can't control himself, plus it's not like they don't deserve it.

He'd try to be his best self for you, it was because of you that he wanted Negan to live, he lost himself for a while and you pulled him out of it, because of that he believes everyone, well maybe not everyone, most of the people deserve a second chance, people can change.

He knows you're both young, maybe too young for him to even think about it but he can imagine having a family with you. The way you take care of Judith, hold her in you arms, the way you talk to her, kiss her forehead, play with her, he wants that for his own kid.

He wouldn't settle for just any ring, if he proposes, he's doing it right. He searches for not only the prettiest ring but also the coolest looking one.

When it comes to touching, Carl isn't particularly clingy, but he likes to keep a hand on your thigh, squeeze it a little, tease you. I think there's a lot of teasing, he can be cruel sometimes.

But you teasing him? No, that's not happening, not on his watch. He's too impatient for that, too vulnerable in a way.

He likes to kiss you, a lot. Good morning kisses, goodnight kisses, you look so pretty today kisses, all of them.

"Morning" he said, his voice raspy and tired, his eyes still half closed. He hugged you from behind, his chin resting in your shoulder, his hair tickling your neck.

"Morning" you said, smiling a little, he was so cute like this. "I'm making eggs"

"Mhm" he didn't care about some eggs. He took your chin in his hand and made you look at him, he wasn't harsh or anything, his movements were slow and delicate. He placed a sweet kiss in your lips and it has you melting into his arms.

"Breakfast will be ready in a minute" you turned your head, your cheeks were slightly pink, he never failed to make you blush, not even after doing this hunderds of times. "Wash your teeth"

Carl can be rash sometimes, like when he's really excited, horny or after a fight, adrenaline buzzing in his veins, he'd pull you in for a hungry, desperate kiss, his fingers digging into your hips, his crotch pressed against yours, but he's usually delicate with you, unless you want him to be a little rough.

He's a caring lover, tending to your every need, he'd be a loving father and a great leader, but only with you by his side.

Hope you enjoyed and thank you for your kind words under my daryl headcanons.

#carl grimes x male reader #carl grimes x reader #twd x reader #carl grimes x y/n #carl grimes x you #carl grimes headcanons

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mall-0-ry · 2 years

Note

Hello! i'd liked to make another request, and i'm sorry that i kept on sending one! it's because you're the most active creator here.. soo0-- Can i request for 1st year scenario reactiom, of learning that MC/YUU/YN is dating their Housewarden

It’s alright to send requests! i do not really mind! i hope that this work that i did would be alright for you!

- GENDER NEUTRAL READER!

FIRST YEARS REACTION UPON FINDING OUT THAT MC/YUU/Y/N IS DATING THEIR HOUSE WARDEN.

ACE TRAPPOLA:

- He was shocked.

- How did he found out? well, he was trying to apologize for the trouble he caused, by bringing riddle a tart.

- He knocked at the door only to not get any answer, so he opened it and went inside.

- There he saw, You and Riddle Cuddling, while telling him how much you love him.

- He was too shocked to even move an inch.

- but he was too dumb to even keep quiet.

- So he, Shouted “ EW! “

after that, He was collared and was made to do a 6000 words apology, for barging in the room and making a ruckus.

- 100% told Deuce, unconsciously because he was complaining about the collar.

- “ Just because i found them cuddling and being lovey dovey, doesn’t mean he have to collar me! “

- in the end, he’s Very supportive, but he would still tease you and riddle!

Deuce Spade:

- Found out, because Ace was complaining, and had slipped the secret.

- asked you if it’s true.

- told him that it’s true, and was very happy that you found someone.

- Supportive Baby.

- promises to keep the secret.

- would definitely keep up his word.

- would bonk ace hard on the head, for teasing you two.

- while trying his best not to laugh.

- Makes sure that you won’t get into any trouble, because of Grim and Ace’s constant brawls. (maybe a little of his too.)

- “ The House-warden is looking for you, Y/N! “

- super supportive.

- like very.

- Have i mentioned about being supportive?

JACK HOWL:

- He knew.

- He already knew.

- At first, he was slightly shocked.

- He found you and Leona cuddling at the Botanical garden, when he was looking for you. so he put in the pieces that you two are together.

- Was told by Leona to protect you from trouble.

- so he’s often roped into “Trouble” that Ace, Deuce and grim dragged you into.

- He’s very supportive, but won’t show it.

- he’s one of the supportive Babies.

- “ you should go find Dorm-head leona, now “

EPEL FELMIER:

- He found out, he was shocked.

- He didn’t think that his House-warden would lower his standards *sobs* Just kidding~

- part of the supportive babies.

- Genuinely happy!

- why?

- because Vil has been directing his attention towards you and would often teach you about Makeup and etc.

- He’s as free as a bird!

- HOORAY!

- His happiness only lasted for a few seconds before Vil spotted him, and asked him to join.

- He could not refuse!

- very sad.

- gave a wonky smile before accepting.

- Vil told him his smile is ugly.

- he made it even more uglier

- He was then taken by rook, who Vil summoned to put an eye on him.

- He was slightly happy!

- Slightly teases you about your Relationship with Vil.

- Would often come by Ramshackle to give you the makeup kit vil bought for you, and some skin care products.

- Loves the thought that you wouldn’t be single and complaining.

ORTHO SHROUD:

- He was RoBotiCallY HapPy!

- Made a calendar reminder about your monthly Anniversary with Idia.

- calls you Big Sister/Brother

- doesn’t want to call you Sister/Brother in law.

- Would be the one bringing you gifts, that’s from idia.

- doesn’t mind being an Errand boy for Gifts.

- VERY SUPPORTIVE.

- supportive baby.

- hugs you every time he sees you in the hall.

- “ Big brother wants to play this game with you! you should stop by!”

SEBEK ZIGVOLT:

- WHAT?!? a MAGICLESS HUMAN IS DATING THE ALL MIGHTY OGOSH— MALLEUS SAMA?!?

- stalks you.

- still cannot accept.

- Still also cannot accept.

- Lowkey found you and Malleus cute together.

- Came to conclusion that

- If Malleus Sama is happy with you, then it’s alright.

- starts to slowly support your relationship.

- still would stalk you.

- screams at anybody who would come up to you to flirt.

- “ YOU SHALL NOT FLIRT WITH SOMEONE’S SIGNIFICANT OTHER! YOU LOWLY BEAST! MALLEUS SAMA WOULD BE ENRAGED!”

- Made the whole campus know about your relationship with the Dragon fae.

- was proud about it.

- got a scolding by lilia.

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nonokoko13 · 4 months

Text

SPOILERS SXF CHAPTER 93 ❗❗❗

So, chapter 93. Starting with Anya scores...

THAT'S MY GIRL!!!! CONGRATULATIONS BABY!!! 🎉🎊🥳

(Let's take a moment to appreciate what a good and supportive friend Becky is too 💖)

As I expected Anya passed classical language (with a huge improvement!) but in the large, tedious walk on Hell that is school not everyone can get exceptional grades in every subject unless you're a Desmond apparently and Anya, as many people who preceded her and will come after her, failed math.

I have seen many people make theories about how certain older student who we shall discuss next could be her tutor. However, my theory is that she will receive help from Bill in the future

It makes more sense: both already know each other, Anya has more chances of Bill accepting or suggesting to help her than the-one-I-shall-name-later and overall Bill seems more communicative and better at socialising and explaining himself. Let's not forget he received a stella in math after all. So for me Bill seems like the most plausible option (maybe we will get jealous Damian with this friendship?)

Back at the Forgers residence the Authens pay a visit to congratulate Anya as well. When I read Sigmund's sentence about how rewarding is to have a payment for your hard work my mind automatically thought "But sometimes no matter how hard you try you don't get a reward. Sometimes the result is just not worth the effort" (I think many people has a canon event that reveals them that, specially when you're in highschool, middle school or college)

And right after thinking that he agreed with me lol. My mind really anticipates things before finishing a panel

Speaking of hard work and grades, I'm taking this chance to give my opinion: a system based on giving stars to those who have the highest grades while those who fail face the possibility of being expelled is awful. Not getting a star and comparing yourself to your peers already make horrors to your self esteem, imagine a child getting expelled for repeatedly fail a exam that may not be adapted to their needs (or getting many tonitrus for things your teachers disapprove of you but you didn't know it was wrong or for something about yourself you cannot control. For example a kid with ADHD unintentionally interrupting someone, disconnecting in the middle of a conversation or making noise with their leg when they stay still for too long. No need to go as far as talking about neurodivergent kids, look at that chapter where Anya got a tonitrus for not having a handkerchief. Who the fuck is punished for that when you're an adult anyway)

Enough of that, back to the chapter. Let's talk about what hyped me the most: Demetrius finally appearing on screen!

We already had crumbs of him before. Given Damian inferiority complex when comparing himself to him when he had talked about school and Twilight noticing his exams barely had any mistakes back in the chapter where Daybreak was welcomed to this world, him being a exceptional student when it comes to academics isn't surprising in the least.

Many say he's ugly and exactly like his father but I disagree. Donovan looks like a goddamn Frankenstein if Frankenstein was ugly, Demetrius take after his dead eyes look but he's pretty like Melinda. Not conventionally pretty like Damian or Melinda but kinda pretty. Like a zombie with sleep deprivation but in an endearing way. It's not his fault he's built like a Tim Burton or Don't Starve Together character... anyway I'm sure his appearance can grow up on you, hopefully (;´ ▾ `)

About the theories regarding this panel

It may be true something's going on, maybe he was really experimented on... But I can't stop thinking he was in that very moment "No thoughts, head empty" mode

I mean, he looks like a walking corpse in dire need of a proper nap, can you blame him if his thoughts are mainly focused on studies when Donovan probably spent time with him only for the sake of producing a good grades, not independent thinking machine as his heir? "He watch him study all the time."

I don't think it was necessary for a tragic incident to change Donovan and made him distant from his family. I suspect he has always been like that, perhaps even before having Demetrius, so it was less a traumatic big event and more the exhausting everyday life Demetrius has been having as far as he remembers of being supervised by his father in order to be the best at school and everything that turned him into the probably burnt out teenager he is.

Same with Melinda, being married to somebody you might not have even loved when you first got together, a man who doesn't try to understand others or seem capable of caring for anyone, a man who is not precisely publicly known for his kindness (remember Millie and Yor's boss when Donovan was brought up?)... Being married to that kind of person for years and then having kids with that person and have to keep being related to them for at least until your kids graduate sound like a miserable life indeed

The Desmond have a common theme going around that is understanding the world around them, or rather the lack of it. I can say for sure that Demetrius feeling overwhelmed simply with a bunch of kids and thinking he can't understand people have its roots in Donovan

• For Donovan is his narrow minded belief that nobody can't understand — therefore neither trust — each other because people is different; and as long as that phrase of "two people can't think the same" lives to the reality it finds itself in reaching a common ground is impossible.

• Donovan influenced Demetrius. Perhaps Demetrius doesn't share his father belief and that's not why he can't understand others, maybe it is because he was possibly deprived of a normal childhood where he could socialise with others of his age without his father expectations onto him.

Many academic gifted children reach a part of their lives where their habit is to think inside the box of "Good grades is all I'm good at or all I should care about; good grades = doing fine; it's all about what you can prove to those who expect something from you, not what you can prove to yourself to make you feel satisfied and happy".

When people who raised you condition you to act, live and think the way they wanted you to do is difficult to break and separate yourself from that. Plus he's going through the middle school phase, from personal experience that makes you x10 times angsty and complicated to understand yourself, much less everyone else.

• With Damian it is less discussed and pointed out because he's been able to have a relatively normal —if anything very neglected — childhood up to this point. He has friends, he acts like a kid of his age, his life doesn't revolve around his grades all the time... But that's the bare minimum of what a good childhood should be like.

It may be because of his age, but he doesn't see the bigger picture of his family. He can't see what is wrong with them (yet) because in his eyes nothing is wrong. Sure, he feels lonely and works hard for his dad to notice him, but that happens in many families right? He's not even in denial, he doesn't phantom the idea that what his family is, how they behave towards each other or towards him, isn't normal.

Don't make me start with how his future plans is following Donovan's footsteps in politics because he's trying that hard to approach him. He works hard at school because in his mind being like Demetrius or how he believes Donovan wants him to be would bring them closer, receive an understanding relationship from his dad when we know there might not be genuine affection between them from Donovan's side to start with.

He's teaching himself that love is conditioned by your "worth" or by whether you get to the expectations your loved ones have. That reminds me of what Sigmund told Anya because it sounds like a foretelling of Damian's life: [...] And one day you'll experience the frustration of realizing that hard work is not always rewarded. He doesn't many things and his age may explain it but it doesn't justify, if he continues thinking like that he'll have his hopes crushed and may turn out like Demetrius.

• As for Melinda, is difficult to talk about the point she stands in the understanding theme. Unlike her family she does seem able to understand people, perhaps because she wasn't raised like her kids have been. She's aware that her husband party made a lot of damage to their country, she seems aware and attentive to what surrounds her.

I don't think she cannot be understanding or perceptive, I think it's the other way around: the people she's surrounded by cannot understand her. Neither Yor, Anya, Damian, surely Demetrius and Donovan neither, her "friends" of the association she's in... Not even us can't understand the reason why she's so conflictive about Damian yet.

In just one appearance Donovan made his belief clear, thus giving us an idea of what type of feelings he has towards Damian. We can get so much of his character as a person with one chapter, but Melinda has appeared more than him and her true self is unknown. Donovan is reserved in a physical way, he isolates himself by not going outside and socialising, but he's not against the idea of explaining a stranger his stance in life. Melinda surrounds herself of people and listens to them but she keeps to herself.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to see more of Demetrius and the Desmonds. Hope we get more screen time of them, unless Endo has decided to drop such episode only to give us a one-shot chapter next and not elaborate further before introducing a complete different arc 💦

Although with what we have I'm already bought and entertained enough. Our favorite family is great but hooray for secondary characters being given depth and spotlight in this manga 🥳

See you next chapter reaction! If I made another one after other 25 full moons. I'm probably forgetting to talk about something...Oh well

#spy x family #sxf #manga spoilers #sxf chapter 93 #sxf spoilers #spy x family spoilers #chapter analysis #anya forger #bill watkins #donovan desmond #demetrius desmond #damian desmond #melinda desmond #becky blackbell #emile elman #ewen egeburg #GOD YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS EMO KID TO ARRIVE #my speculation of his looks was completely wrong and I'm glad it was. He looks prettier with not having a ikemen face #maybe it's just me and my liking for unconventional faces or faces different from the normal face an artist give to their ocs tho #idk. he looks neat to me #reminds me of owls and lemurs ✨#Maybe that's not the compliment I think it is given I also like George face because he gives me Frankenstein vibes #(not the same as Donovan's Frankenstein vibes btw)#♡ — shut up noko #Dementrius does sound like he would listen to MCR if there was MCR equivalent in sxf world. Look what parent issues and 0 naps do to a mf #Donovan let your family have a life without physical or spiritual presence or the consequences of it leaving a mark on them challenge #(impossible)#sigmund authen #almost forgot to tag Einstein looking grandpa #demetrius probably have 0 friends too. poor guy

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inkskinned · 2 years

Text

he tells me i'm jaded. he says - you love showers so much, why not stand in a rainstorm instead?

rainstorms have a potential to take down tree branches. they're unregulated. they get my clothes wet. in the time of my grandparents, maybe it would be more romantic. it's a drought where i live. the rain that comes down is sullen, yellow with pollution. i bite half my nails off reading about climate predictions. i stand in the shower and shift from one foot to the other, feeling annoyed with myself because i care about all of this, of course, but as a climate scientist i'm functionally useless.

he says - the color is all gone from the world! people used to like bright things. what happened to all of us?

i feel like rich people love minimalism differently. they like to remind others - i don't really need things. they can afford to have-less. they don't need to worry about buying extra; they can just get it later.

my car is silver so in 5 years after paying back the loan i might be able to sell it, if i don't hurt it too bad and if i don't drive it too hard, and if luck is in my corner. it's just a simple sedan, nothing-special. i guess i'm technically borrowing it from the bank. i can't really-decorate my apartment; i don't own it. i am not going to be able to afford a house any time soon. i would love to make my walls a wash of bright color - but i'd lose my deposit.

my clothes are all in neutrals; classic cuts that have very little fuss or personality attached to them. i worry about fast fashion and my finances; i want to be sure that i can wear the shirt in the future without feeling stupid and out-of-touch. the other day i finally tore through a pair of shorts i've had for about ten years now. i went home and tried to figure out how to repurpose the denim. how to make everything last a little longer. i sometimes will try on something trendy and cool and colorful - and then i pick out something i know will last me a long time instead. muted, conservative, unimpressive.

he says - the real world is waiting! everyone is so obsessed with their phones these days. go outside, connect with your friends!

it costs twenty dollars to go on the guided tour. they don't let you into the conservatory without a 320 dollar yearly membership. i come up with a spreadsheet, trying to figure out where my friends have schedule openings that overlap with mine. we both frown over our calendars - can't do thursday that week, anything in two weeks? there's no train, it costs forty dollars in transportation for her to come over; but i miss her, so i venmo her. we both bemoan the fact that there's just no way to get around without a car.

i am actually a full-blooded romantic. i am actually someone who truly and deeply believes in hope and the future of humanity. i am a poet, after all - i write because i believe someone out there, like me, is watching the world crumble while nursing a broken heart. i believe that most of us want to be kind, to be good, to turn our cheeks to the sky and be contented and warm.

it just feels like - there's this strange, brewing storm. where people with money and power and prestige get to say - hope is a yacht, just hop on and go.

and all us jaded, horrible little still-here tear-stained cockroaches, who croak and complain about global injustice: we don't accept it. we make our lives beautiful with whatever we can wrestle out of stone. we clutch our diaries and our sunflowers and our songs to our chest. ugly and hurting, we snarl - hope isn't yours though. it's ours.

it's all we have left.

#does this make even a lick of sense.#this is like .#optimistic pessimism idek #warm up

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roosterforme · 1 year

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Old Habits Die Hard Part 11 | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Summary: You decide to give Bradley the opportunity to talk about what happened. You end up learning more than you bargained for.

Warnings: Angst and swears, maybe fluff

Length: 3300 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader (fuckboy college student Bradley)

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What was wrong with you? You had agreed to let Bradley stop by later in the evening so you and he could talk. You didn't really want to talk to him, because you knew you would end up a crying mess. But there was no way he was going to worm his way back to you. Not after what he did last weekend.

And yet, you found yourself touching up your makeup before he got there. And you decided to stay in your skirt and sweater instead of changing into leggings like you usually would after class.

"You're ridiculous," you told yourself in the bathroom mirror. You looked so sad, and you just knew you were going to have to kick Bradley out later if you started crying.

Janessa was already out for the night, so at least you would have some privacy. But maybe that was worse, since you didn't even know for sure what Bradley wanted to talk about. He had told you he wanted to be your boyfriend. You weren't lying to him when you told him you would have said yes.

Sighing, you exited the bathroom and picked up one of your graduate exam practice books to help you pass the time. You had narrowed your application list down to just four schools. Three of them were a bit outlandish, including the University of Chicago, but you were hopeful that one of them would be willing to give you a scholarship. Then you'd keep the University of Virginia as your last resort, since you were almost positive you'd be accepted to stay on in the math department here. You had a 4.0 GPA, and now you just needed to ace your exams.

You jumped off the couch when you heard knocking. Time to get this over with. You unlocked the door and were met with sad, brown puppy dog eyes and a face that you immediately wanted to kiss. And he was holding more flowers.

"Come in," you managed to say in a steady voice that didn't betray your nerves and the butterflies in your tummy. Why had he picked you? What was even special about you in the first place? Nothing. He could have used his voice and charm on any other girl, and you kind of wished he would have. Why the hell was he here anyway?

As he nodded and walked into the living room, you took a deep breath. He smelled so good. He was still wearing that ugly Grateful Dead shirt, and you knew how soft it was. You wanted to rub your cheek against his chest and feel it again for yourself. You wanted to change into it for bed.

"These are for you. Since I messed the other ones up earlier," he told you, holding out the flowers.

You took them, saying, "Well, you didn't mess them up, but thanks." You set the flowers down and nodded for him to sit.

You followed him over toward the couch where he stood, looking at you. "What did you want to talk about?" you asked, crossing your arms as casually as you could.

He ran his hands through his hair and looked around the room before his eyes settled back on your face. "Me, you, everything. I don't know, Sugar. I fucked up with you. And I don't know if you can forgive me, but I wish you would."

He looked so serious, you thought you might as well call him out on it. "I'm not sure how to respond to you right now. You look and sound sincere. But I'm not really in the market for being tricked or fucked over again."

Bradley's face fell and he rubbed his eyes like he was in agony. Then he dropped his arms to his sides. "I've always been sincere with you. Always." His voice was pleading as he added, "Maybe not with everyone else. But with you, yes. So please, please don't start treating me the way everyone else does. Okay?"

"Okay," you agreed, although you weren't really sure what you were agreeing to.

"You treated me like I was important. Like I fucking mattered to you." He rubbed his hand over his mouth and looked at the ceiling. "You don't know how sorry I am that I fucked this up, Sugar."

You swallowed every snarky remark that you had spent the last few minutes coming up with and took him gently by the hand. Immediately his other hand dropped to his side and he was looking at you again.

"Let's sit down," you whispered, and he nodded and sat on your couch, pulling you down and keeping his hand in yours. You took a breath to speak, but he was already going.

"I was so jealous of that fucking guy. I don't even know who he was. But I immediately thought the worst. And I know that's not fair to you, because you're... you. You're just better than everyone else. I think that's why I like you so much. You're smart, and your opinion matters. And you treated me like I was worth being around. Like," he said with a shrug, "I was worth your time." He swallowed, and your eyes dipped to his Adam's apple and his scars.

You thought for a second that he must have been pretty badly mistreated if your opinion means so much after knowing him for a month. You thought about his door and his mom and how he always seemed to be at odds with his fraternity brothers.

"You're worth my time," you said softly. He was looking at you again, his eyes sincere but laced with pain. "And you are important."

"But...?" he prompted, still holding your hand. "Come on, Sugar. Just say what you want to say."

You took a deep breath. "I just want you to be honest with me. That guy I was talking to? His name is Max. He's on the lacrosse team, and he's really, really stupid. I used to tutor him. I don't know why you thought you needed to be jealous of him. He's nothing."

"Sugar, I'm an idiot," he groaned.

"No. You're smart, Bradley. So what gives?" you asked.

He just shook his head and looked at the floor. "Everyone already thinks I'm a fuckup. Everyone expects me to be a certain way. And sometimes it's just easier to give in to their expectations than it is to try."

You laced your fingers with his so he would look at you again. "Who is Hannah?" you asked softly when he met your eyes. You watched the expression on his face change from pain to anxiousness. You wanted to know why he and Jeff couldn't get along.

"Chase was in my fraternity," he said simply. "Hannah was his girlfriend."

"What happened?" you asked softly, and then he told you everything.

---------------------------

Bradley just wanted to hold you and feel your arms slip around him. He wanted to feel your lips move against his neck while you spoke to him in your matter of fact voice. He wanted to listen to your laughter in his bedroom. The last thing he wanted to do was tell you about Chase and Hannah. Nobody else knew the full truth. Not even Phoebe, and she was there.

No, nobody really knew all of it. But you were about to. Because if it meant that you could understand him, then it was worth telling you.

"Chase and Jeff were best friends, and Chase got expelled from Beta and then from UVA for fighting. For fighting me," he told you.

You just shook your head. "You're not a fighter."

Bradley laughed softly. "No, perhaps I'm not. But I think I became one. I used to drink a lot more. Made it easier to deal with the names on my door, I guess. Made it easier to watch girls write their phone numbers and leave." And then in your dimly lit living room, you wrapped your arms around his neck and let him hold you. He took a deep breath and let it out before he said, "The drinking definitely made it easier to stand up for Hannah."

"What did Chase do?" you asked softly, as if you already knew what Bradley was going to tell you. Your nose skimmed the collar of his tee shirt as he let his body relax against yours.

"He hurt Hannah when he got drunk. All the time. He hit her and made her cry. He cheated on her all the time too," Bradley said, and you gasped. "He was the only guy in Beta with a girlfriend, and I thought that if that's what having a girlfriend did to you, I wanted nothing to do with it."

"Oh my god," you whispered.

"Hannah was scared of him. I found her crying in my bathroom one night, and I saw the bruises on her. She was sweet, like you, but not sensible. Chase was nice to her when he was sober, so she just stayed, I guess. I don't know."

You didn't pressure him to keep going. You let him gather his thoughts while he rubbed your back through your sweater.

"I started butting heads with Chase and Jeff more, because Jeff was always standing up for him. I saw Chase push Hannah, and he was always calling her a slut and a bitch. When I tried to insert myself in the situation, pretty much all the guys in Beta agreed with Jeff when he said I was just trying to sleep with Hannah. And why shouldn't they believe him? I'm easy, you know? Every other fucking name under the sun was on my door, why wouldn't I want Hannah's there too?"

"Bradley." You whispered his name so softly he barely heard you, but he wanted to finish.

"After Chase busted up Hannah's lip, and she missed a bunch of her classes, I picked a fight with him. I waited for a night when he was in a particularly bad mood, and then I got wasted on purpose. Drank an entire bottle of vodka. It took all of my strength not to fight back. He slammed me around pretty good, and broke a glass table by putting my face through it. Hence the scars."

You were fully in Bradley's lap now, and you were crying. "No, Bradley. You did that for Hannah?" you asked, running your fingers along his cheek.

He nodded gently against your head. "Yeah. Chase got expelled, putting some distance between him and Hannah. She ended up transferring to Florida for her senior year. She and I have stayed in touch. She was always nice to me. I've... never told anyone that I got drunk on purpose. I was like that a lot, so nobody really thought it seemed strange, you know?"

You pulled away from him, and the loss of contact sent him scrambling for your hand. "That's not who you are though. You're not a fighter. And you're not easy either, Beer Boy. You're really, really good."

Bradley wished you'd lay on him again, but he wasn't going to press his luck. At least you weren't asking him to leave.

"I told Hannah all about you."

"Really?" you asked, sounding surprised.

"Yeah. She told me I'm an idiot for what I did. She also told me you're too good for me. But I sent her a picture of my door, and she called me screaming."

A soft smile was touching your lips now, but it faded as you asked, "Who was that girl last weekend? Did you know her?"

He nodded and forced the words out. "Her name is Willow. I slept with her a few months ago. It didn't mean anything. I wish I could take it all back. After Phoebe, I started sleeping around, because I didn't really have anything else," he said with a sardonic laugh and a shrug. "I am sorry. And I would never do that again... to you. If I stood a chance."

Bradley had to swallow the lump in his throat as you pressed your lips together and studied him. "Are you leaving soon? The party is probably in full swing now."

He just shrugged helplessly. "I'll leave when you ask me to, Sugar. I'm not partying tonight."

You licked your lips before you shifted so you were no longer touching him, and he started to brace himself for your dismissal.

"Do you want some pizza?" you asked. "I'm hungry, and I won't be able to finish it by myself."

Bradley just nodded. He would have agreed to anything you said if it meant he could be around you for a little bit longer. He watched you walk to the table to pick up your phone, your skirt hitting the backs of your thighs with each step. He cradled his forehead in his hand, he had no idea what was going on here. This felt like a subtle reminder as to why he shouldn't actually try to date anyone.

He listened to you order a pizza and watched you pace around in a small circle. Then you started to dig around in your wallet, but he jumped up and handed you money. "I got it," he said. But you just shook your head.

"Don't worry about it. And we're not done talking," you said, gently pushing him back toward the couch.

"We're not?" he asked, dropping back down to sit. But you remained standing in front of him.

"No. I want you to tell me, why me?"

"I don't understand."

"I don't understand either, Bradley. Why me? Why do you want me to be your girlfriend? You could get with any girl on campus."

He scoffed. "Maybe physically, Sugar. But that's not the only reason I like you. I already told you... you talk to me like I'm important."

"Oh, Beer Boy. You have no idea."

When you sat down next to him and curled up against his body, he just held you until the pizza arrived.

-------------------------

Both of you sat on the floor in front of the coffee table and ate pizza, but Bradley seemed on edge the whole time. You hated this. Being around him had been so easy before. When you stood up to refill your drinks, you watched his eyes drift up your legs, lingering on your body before settling on your face. You turned toward the kitchen and took your time.

The idea of forgiving him had almost taken over your entire mind. You wanted to. But you also felt like you were just asking for trouble. But when he told you about Chase and Hannah, you really wanted to just wrap him up in your arms and never let go.

When you walked back to the living room, he was standing, hands tucked in his pockets. "Sugar, I'm gonna go. I think I need to go."

Your heart dropped. "Why?" You didn't want him to leave yet.

"This is... I need to... protect myself," he said softly.

"Oh. From me?" You were going to cry if he said yes.

He nodded his head.

You could feel your face scrunch up, tears beginning to sting your eyes. "I don't want you to say that."

"This isn't your fault. I did this, because I am a fuckup."

"Stop it," you said, running your fingers across his scarred left cheek and resting your thumb on his lips. "You're not." You couldn't stand the hopeful look on his face now, so you wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your face against his chest.

His voice was deep and raspy as he asked you, "Can I touch you, Sugar?"

You looked up at his face, his eyes already on yours, but he didn't take his hands out of his pockets until you whispered yes.

His hands found your waist like they belonged there, and you let him hold you. When you pressed a soft kiss to his neck, he groaned.

You felt powerful around him. You always had. He'd given you control. Bradley had given you control. He was smart, but always selling himself short. He was organized, like his mom. He let Chase beat the shit out of him without fighting back. He was very in control of himself, whether he wanted to admit it or not. But over the past month or so, he'd let you control this.

"Do you want to sleep over, Beer Boy?" you asked him.

He looked a little stunned, but he muttered, "Of course, Sugar."

You nodded and led him to your bedroom. "I'm tired. Can we snuggle?"

He laughed softly. "Please."

Without another word, you pulled your sweater over your head and unhooked your bra. He watched you intently but didn't touch you as you got undressed in front of him. Then you grabbed the bottom of his tie dyed shirt and guided it up over his body. He raised his hands in the air without a word and let you take it off. He swallowed hard as you pulled it over your head and ran your hands along the soft fabric. When you climbed into bed, he quickly took off his shoes and his jeans and climbed in next to you.

"Just snuggling," you murmured, but he was already curled up behind you, burying his face in your hair and squeezing you.

Bradley whispered in agreement, but soon you were turning in his arms and wrapping your hands around his neck. That first kiss felt so good, you gasped. You had missed him so much like this. You kissed him again and again until you felt sated, but his hands stayed on your waist on the outside of the Grateful Dead shirt, rubbing soft, soothing circles. Somehow he had become the one offering you some much needed comfort.

"Just snuggling, Sugar," he whispered against your lips. You nodded in agreement, and at some point between kissing him and your whispered conversation, you fell asleep in his arms.

------------------------------

Bradley woke up with his arm pinned beneath you. It was light outside now, but you were still sound asleep. He didn't want to move and wake you, so he just got used to the pins and needles sensation. He examined your gorgeous face, lips parted slightly and breathing softly in sleep. Had you forgiven him? He wasn't sure, and he was going to be too afraid to ask you now.

Today was Valentine's Day, and this moment right now was the closest thing he had felt to love since his mom died. If you let him, he was pretty sure he could fall in love with you. He'd never done it before, wasn't exactly sure of the logistics, but it seemed okay here. So when you rolled closer to him and sighed, he pushed your hair away from your forehead and kissed you.

It seemed easier to ask you something else first. When your eyes opened, a smile graced your lips when you saw him, as if you weren't expecting him to be there but you were happy that he was.

"Beer Boy," you whispered, your voice raw from sleep. You rolled onto him further, and Bradley was thankful for your bodyweight on his and that he was finally able to move his arm.

"Sugar, will you be my girlfriend?" he asked you before he could backtrack or rethink anything.

You examined his face for a moment. His ears were ringing. He shouldn't have asked. You were going to kick him out now. Why was this shit so hard for him?

"Yes," you told him, nodding and leaning up to kiss his lips, gently nudging his nose with yours.

"Fuck," he whispered against your lips. He wrapped you up in his arms. "Can you forgive me?"

"Yeah, Beer Boy, I can forgive you."

Bradley smiled for the first time in almost a week.

---------------------------------

Sugar! Did she make a smart decision? Thanks a million percent to @mak-32 This is for you!

PART 12

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