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shadowandlightt · 2 days

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Of Nightmares and Memories | Eleven | Azriel x Rhys' little sister! Reader

Series Warnings: Kidnapping. Mistreatment. Cursing. Pining. Violence. Depression. Talks of suicide. Eventual smut

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten

Shadows dance around you as you stand in the hall of the townhouse. You hadn’t stepped foot inside of it before. Hardly even paid any attention to it when you were little. You were sure Rhys had to have updated the interior. Because the townhouses on this block were nice, sure, but not nearly as cozy as this one seemed.

Outside, the city was buzzing with life. So much so that it made you want to shrink away even further. Run to the mountains again, lock yourself away in the house of wind. Cassian and Azriel both resided there….you wouldn’t be alone. But you couldn’t face leaving Rhys, even if he had Feyre to worry about.

First taking her to the prison, then taking her to the Weaver. He had to be insane. He wouldn’t clue you in on what was happening in the world, but you knew something had to be going on. He made mention of feeling safer once you were in Valaris, so quietly that you almost didn’t hear him. But you did hear him. And you would press him on it later. But now you needed to find your own footing again.

“He had the twins set up a room for you,” Azriel said softly, hand gently resting on your shoulder, “No one can get in this house without permission, Rhys saw to that. And that includes me and Cass.”

“Cassian,” You breathed out, suddenly remembering the man who was once like a second brother to you, “Where is he?”

You spin around to face Az, and the door. There’s a look of surprise on Az’s face. The last time you saw Cassian, you’d punched him hard enough to break his nose. You had gotten into an awful fight with one another, that didn’t end until his blood was dripping on the floor. You remembered feeling a sense of satisfaction at the sight of him bleeding everywhere.

“Sulking,” Az’s lips turned up slightly, “He wanted to go to summer, but he’s since been banned from the court for destroying a building or two.”

“He what?” You questioned, eyes darting back to meet his.

“Story for another time.”

“Can you bring him here?” You question, not ready to fly at all, let alone to the House of Wind.

“Why don’t we fly to him?” Az rose his eyebrows in a question.

You shook your head, backing away from him just a step, “I don’t want to fly.”

You didn’t want to summon your wings, something you hadn’t done since the day you were taken. You hadn’t allowed yourself that one pleasure, not when your mother’s wings were so cruelly cleaved from her body. Not when you had two long, thick, scars running down the length of your back from where Tamlin’s brothers cut into your flesh, thinking somehow they’d bring out the wings that were once there.

“You don’t want to fly?” He questioned slowly, “You love to fly.”

Your head shakes again as he tucks his wings impossibly tighter to his body, as if he was trying to hide them amongst the shadows that dwelled there. He didn’t know in full what happened to you, or at least you hoped he didn’t. You hoped his shadows hadn’t reported to him as it happened, only adding to the chaos of him trying to reach you in time.

But by the time he made it to that clearing all that was left was two bodies hacked into pieces, one of your mother and one of your maid that accompanied you everywhere, and more blood than should have been possible. You could remember the way the grass was coated with it, soaking into the earth below. You wondered if it left a stain on that land.

“Come back to me,” Az whispered, stepping towards you, “Leave all of that behind, and come back to me.”

“I’m right here, Az.”

“Are you though?” He questioned softly, “Because I’m not so sure you are.”

You shiver with the memories that keep flooding your head. The sound of his voice as he begged you to be strong, that he would be there soon.

Breathe, you had to remind yourself. Breathe, you’re free again. You’re home in Valaris, you’re with Azriel, and he would never let anything bad happen to you as long as you’re with him. You knew that in your very bones. But it didn’t make this any easier.

Little Star?

Rhys’ voice made you jump, forgetting for a moment that you could still speak to one another. It seemed strange having him in your head after so long apart, you hadn’t even noticed the feeling of his mental claws gently stroking your mind.

I’m okay. I promise Rhys.

Az doesn’t seem to think so.

You roll your eyes, fighting the urge to send a vulgar gesture down the line back to Rhys. Instead you flopped down in a near by chair.

Az needs to mind his own business for once.

Go flying with him. Please.

Go tell Feyre she’s your mate, dear brother, and I’ll think about it.

He retracted from your mind with that. The feeling of him being gone left you feeling utterly empty. You’d forgotten what it felt like to have someone else in your mind, how full you felt. Full of life, full of thought. Full of emotion and oftentimes joy.

“Don’t rat me out to my brother,” You grumble at Azriel.

“I’m just worried,” He admits, stepping to sit on the edge of the chair across from you.

“You have no reason to worry,” You try to convince him, acting as if you’re brushing off some dirt from your shoulder.

“I think I have every reason,” He said so softly you almost didn’t hear him, “Why won’t you come flying with me?”

You shake your head again, “If you witnessed what I did that day, you wouldn't want to fly either.”

Her screams echoed in your ears. Terror ripped through your bones again, no matter how hard you tried to fight it. You remind yourself again and again that you’re safe, and free, and home. Because this place felt more like a home than the House of Wind ever did.

“You weren’t there, you couldn’t understand,” You told him quietly.

“Don’t remind me that I failed you, Y/N.”

“You didn’t fail me.”

“I didn’t make it to you in time,” He replies, “I failed you in that way, and in every way after for the last few hundred years. I gave up on you.”

“Everyone did,” You simply shrugged, “I even gave up. I don’t blame you for what happened that day.”

The sound of mighty wings cut off any reply that Azriel could have, before the door was being shoved open and Cassian came quite literally running inside. His hair was half up in a messy bun, dripping with sweat. His shirt was haphazardly thrown on, like he’d been in the throws of training when someone, probably Rhys, told him to get his ass down to the townhouse. He looked around, chest heaving with every breath. He wasn’t out of shape, no he was far from that. But you’d watched him train before, you knew how hard he worked. And you could imagine he was panicked, just by the look on his face.

He dropped the broadsword he held in his hand, staggering forward a few steps. You gently stood, not wanting to spook him. But he already looked as if he’d seen a ghost, and maybe he had. Because you certainly felt like a ghost of who you’d once been. A ghost of the person that used to laugh alongside Cassian at everything.

“Y/N?” His voice broke, “Brother, what kind of trick is this?” He turned his full attention to Azirel, demanding answers.

Azriel said nothing though, only inclining his head towards you. A silent confirmation. Tears filled the general’s eyes as he looked you over, trying to reconcile the girl he once knew when the women standing before him.

Your own eyes glossed over as you watched him. He shook slightly, so slightly it could’ve been missed, if you weren't paying so close attention to him. He surged forward, so quickly he was nothing more than a blur of dark hair and wings as he scooped you up in his arms, pulling you from the ground. He held you as tightly as he possibly could, sobs leaving his body. You couldn’t stop your own sobs as they shook your whole body. Clutching onto him, you breathed in his scent. Something distinctly Cassian and the smell of sweat. Truthfully, he reeked and needed a bath.

“How are you alive?” He cried, not so discreetly, “We helped Rhys bury your body.”

“No, you didn’t. That’s what they wanted you to think,” You try to explain, “It was Michaa that you buried.”

“But-”

“Don’t grill her on this, Cass,” Azriel warned, finally speaking.

Cassian set you down and held you at arm’s length, finally really looking you over. You’d grown taller since the last time he saw you. He assumed in another life, you would've been fuller too, but you still looked gaunt even after a while away from the spring court. Your hair was longer and darker, much like Rhys’. Your eyes weren’t as bright as they once were, but the light was slowly coming back to them. You were slowly coming back to life.

“I missed you, Cassi,” You sniffed, knowing how much he hated that nickname when you were children. But you couldn’t say Cassian when you first met him.

“Cauldron boil me,” He groans out, using the back of his hand to wipe at his eyes, “I never thought I’d hear you call me that again.”

“I need a drink,” He says suddenly, making his way into the kitchen, “Az?”

“Pour me one too.” Az nods his head, sinking into the chair once more.

He looked older, and yet just as young as you’d seen him the last time. But with the way he held himself, you could tell that he’d seen many horrors in the hundreds of years that you’d been gone. He’d dealt with too much.

“Me too,” You agree, sinking into your own chair, feeling the weight pulling you down.

“You aren’t old enough,” Was Cassian’s quick response.

You raise an eyebrow at him in challenge, “I’m old enough to fuck, therefore I’m old enough to drink.”

Both males cringe, eyes going wide, wings flaring. You groan out, realizing what you’d just said. You were sure Rhys had figured it out already, why you smelled so much like Lucien when he saw you on Firenight. Why you still smelled faintly like the male.

“I’ll get it myself,” You push yourself up again and push past Cassian, “Territorial male bastards.”

Both males follow you into the kitchen as you grab for the decanter tucked on the corner of the counter. The room feels almost too small with both of them and their wings closing in on you. You felt trapped again.

“Who,exactly, were you fucking?” Azriel asked with cold precision.

“None of your business, Shadowsinger.” You snap back, downing the knuckles’ worth of alcohol.

Shadows swirl angrily around you. Some listening to Az, some listening to you. The fought one another, colliding in the middle of the kitchen in a black patch. Cassian’s wings were flared wide muscles tensing.

“You know I can find out,” Az warns.

“Can you?” You question, “Because you didn’t even know I was alive for the past few hundred years. How are you supposed to find out anything when you couldn’t even do that?”

You could physically see the moment the words settled down in him. He jerked back as if you’d hit him, wings suddenly snapping in tight to his body. Even Cassian took a step back. You swallowed, feeling bad for throwing that back in his face. You tried to step towards him, but he only backed out of the doorway and made for the front entrance, slamming the door behind him. You heard the beat of wings a moment later.

“That was a low blow,” Cass warned you, “Even for you, Y/N.”

Even for you…because you used to fight with Cass and Rhys, viciously, but never with Az. You never felt the need to fight with him, because he was always on your side. He always seemed to understand you. He knew how far to push you. You, however, pushed him too far this time.

You could feel yourself sink. Head hung low as you looked at the glass in your hands. You didn’t know how to be around people anymore. It seemed odd, being free again. Being back with your family, even though Rhys and Amren were gone in Summer with Feyre. You longed for Mor, who seemed to have made herself scarce, knowing you’d need time to sort out yourself. You wished she wouldn’t have left you alone with the boys though. You were making a complete mess out of everything.

“ Cass, I-”

“Don’t apologize to me,” He shook his head, “Find Az and apologize to him. He beat himself up for centuries for not making it to you in time. I seem to think he’ll blame himself until the day he dies.”

“I don’t know how to do this anymore,” You admit to him, so softly you aren’t sure if he hears.

He’s quiet for a time, so very quiet that you can hardly make out the sound of him breathing, “Do what, Little one?” He finally questions.

The sound of the name that only he called you, brings tears to your eyes. You curl in on yourself, wrapping your arms around you like a protective barrier. Cassian’s dark eyes softened at the sight, his wings drooping slightly. Fat tears rolled down your cheeks as you thought of how broken Azriel must feel. It made your chest feel as if it was going to break in two.

“I don’t know how to live anymore,” You reply, utterly defeated.

“C’mere,” He opens his arms wide for you, dark eyes shining. You step into his arms, feeling their strength wrap around you. For a moment you feel safe again, like the little girl he once knew, “We’ll figure this out, I promise. We won’t let you down again.”

“You didn’t let me down the first time,” You promised him, “But I think I might be too broken to fix.”

“No, no one is too broken.”

Tag List

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@one-big-fangirl @amara-moonlight @annamariereads16 @maddybraps

@saltedcoffeescotch @wallacewillow0773638 @minnieoo @st0rmyt

@hunterksmith @sleepylunarwolf @sh4n @emryb @mikatanazaki

@nickishadow139 @ilovespideyyy @mysticalfuncollectorus @judig92

@tele86 @oksloan3 @darling006 @dr4g0ngirl @weasleyreidstyles

@ren-ni @fleurrreads @i-am-infinite @thestartitaness @fxckmiup

@inloveallthetime @isa1b2h3 @fightmedraco @gorillaglue25 @val-writesstuff

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@quinzzelx @5onedirection5 @its-sam-allgood

#acomaf #acotar #acotar fanfiction #azriel x reader #azriel #azriel x you #acotar fic #azriel acotar #azriel fanfic #azriel shadowsinger

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shadowandlightt · 14 days

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Of Nightmares and Memories |Ten| Azriel X Rhysand's Sister! Reader

Series Warnings: Kidnapping. Mistreatment. Cursing. Pining. Violence. Depression. Talks of suicide. Eventual smut

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine

He kept saying your name like a prayer, chanting it over and over again. As if he couldn’t believe you were really right in front of him. You weren’t sure you could believe it either. After spending so many years thinking you’d never see him again. You clutched onto him, afraid he would disappear back into the shadows if you let him go. So afraid he would vanish, like he always did in your dreams.

“How is this possible,” He whispers against you. Though you aren’t sure if he’s talking to you or Rhys. You aren’t even sure if he knows that he asked such a question.

“Tamlin,” was Rhys’ only reply.

The male in front of you growled. He actually growled and held you tighter. You could feel his hold all the way down to your bones. The force of it knocks the air out of your lungs. But you don’t mind it, you relish in it.

“I’ll kill him,” Az growled, “I’ll fucking kill him.”

His shadows were swirling around ferociously. You knew he meant it, he would kill Tamlin given the chance. But Tamlin’s life wasn’t yours to take. You never loved him, he didn’t take everything from you. He tried, but your family still exists, you still have some semblance of hope. Feyre doesn’t. She has nothing. You saw the look in her eyes the first day she was free, before Rhys swept her away to Valaris.

“No,” You spoke, pulling away from Azriel entirely, “You won’t touch him.”

“Y/N,” His eyes widened and then narrowed with anger.

He was mad at you. Mad that you somehow didn’t want to see Tamlin die. You didn’t want to stoop to his level and see him dead. Or maybe you did, but he wasn’t yours to take. That belongs to Feyre, and Feyre alone now.

“Get your things,” Azriel snapped, “I’m taking you to Valaris.”

“No!” You yelled, taking a step back, “I don’t want to go back there.”

Rhys takes a step towards you, putting his hand out for you. You take another step back, thinking about retreating to your rooms. You could be safe there, they wouldn’t bother you there, you could ward the rooms against them.

“Don’t even think about it,” Rhys warns, “You aren’t running from this.”

“I’m not ready.”

Your voice breaks as tears prick your eyes. How could either of them understand that the thought of being in Valaris without your mother was enough to break you? Couldn't they tell you were close to breaking as it is? That’s why Rhys called for Az, hoping he would hold you together long enough for you to find a way to live again.

“Y/N, please,” Rhys begged, “I can’t leave you here alone anymore.”

“It’s worked so far,” You replied, tears falling down your cheeks.

“No, it hasn’t,” He shakes his head, “You’re slipping, and I refuse to lose you too. Not when I just got you back.”

You want to scream and fight, but you don’t have any fight left in you. You have nothing left but the empty hole in your chest. The hole that feels slightly less vast with Azirel standing in the room with you. It’s strange really, just how much his presence seems to help you.

“I’d rather stay here,” you beg him, beg for him to see that being back in Valaris would kill you. Kill you faster than Tamlin ever could.

Az growled again, causing you to take a step back, “You’re coming home.” The mountain around you seemed to rumble as you stepped forward, sizing up Az and Rhys. Once upon a time you could take them in a fight, they made you work for it and you’d be dripping with sweat by the end of it, but you could still take them.

Your hands curled into fists, nails digging into the skin so hard you bled. You didn’t notice though, not when all you could think about was being forced to go back home, a place you never thought you’d ever see again. A place you weren’t sure if you belonged to anymore.

“I don’t belong there,” You said quietly, shaking your head, “I haven’t belonged there in a long time. I’d be better suited down in the mountain now.”

“That’s a bold lie,” Az scoffed, “You belong in the Rainbow, you always have.”

His touch was light on your arm, siphons glowing such a beautiful blue. You missed the sight of them, all seven of them. Further proving that he’s one of the strongest warriors to come out of Illiryia. He and Cassian both.

Cassian…you missed him in a different way from how you missed Azriel. Cas might as well be another brother to you. You’d only ever seen him as such, but Az.. You never saw Azriel as a brother. You always saw him as something else, something stronger. When you were a child you would beg the Mother to make you and Az mates, beg and beg to the point where you’d be in tears.

The first time he kissed you, you swore you saw the stars light up in his eyes. Those beautiful haunted eyes that always seemed softer around you. The smile that always seemed unbridled for the first time in centuries. You loved him. Mother above did you love him.

“Please, don’t make me go back.”

Tears spilled down your cheeks. You wanted to go home, almost more than anything, but you knew that you would never be accepted there again. Not after your mother’s death, her blood stained your hands just as much as it stained Tamlin’s.

Speaking of blood, Az reached for your hands as droplets fell onto the beautiful moonstone floor. Gently uncurling them, dislodging your nails from your skin. A sob fell from your lips, you didn’t deserve his tender touch. You never did.

You didn’t deserve him as your mate either. Maybe that’s why the Mother decided not to make it so. You weren’t going to be blessed by the Cauldron when it came to Az. Maybe it was for the best, you would only destroy him too.

“Come home,” His eyes looked deeply into yours. No hint of the legendary Spymaster of The Night Court. There was only your Az. So soft and gentle with you, like you were a wisp that would just disappear. Maybe you were just a wisp. Maybe you were destined to just fall apart and fall away. Fade into nothingness.

“I don’t know how,” you admit quietly to him and him alone.

You knew Rhys was still standing there, arms crossed, ghosts of tears in his eyes. But he wouldn’t step in, he wouldn’t try to breach your mind. He would give you as much space as he could, all while making sure you were only a short distance away from him. He’d given you as much space as he possibly could, and now he wanted you back under his roof again.

“Just hold onto me,” Az whispered to you, “I won’t let you go.”

Your head finds his chest, resting there as his wings come around you, cocooning you in them. You felt the safest you had in hundreds of years. Safe in his arms, safe in his love. Because you knew he loved you, just as he knew you loved him.

You told him that day before Tamlin’s family stole you away. You reached into his mind, begging him to help you, begging him to get Rhys, because they were together. And once you realized he wouldn’t make it in time, you said the last few words to him. Confessing your love so at least he would know.

Tears are once again falling down your cheeks and onto his leathers. He tightens his grip around you, holding you impossibly closer to his body. There’s very little space between the two of you. For a moment you could almost swear this is some sort of sick twisted dream. But this is better than a dream. Having him here, really here, is better than anything you could have dreamt of.

“Come home,” He whispers to you, so quiet you know Rhys would have to strain to hear, “Come back to me, my love.”

You broke then, sobbing. Because he’d only called you that once and it was the day everything happened. You clutched onto him, as if he was the only thing keeping you from slipping away. Maybe he was.

“Be strong for me,” He repeated the words he said in pure panic that day. Only now his voice is strong, soft, and steady.

“I don’t know how.”

“Lean on me,” He replies, “Lean on me, Cas, and your brother. Lean on us, let us in. Let us help you.”

“I’m too scared.”

“I know you are, my love, I know,” He softly coos, trying to calm you, “But you can do this. I know you can.”

“Az-”

“Come home with me,” He pleads, stroking your hair, “Come home.”

You could feel your resolve slipping away. The need to be near him took over. Now that you’d had a small taste of life without him, you couldn’t imagine being alone in the palace anymore. You weren’t sure if you could handle the busy streets of Valaris, but you missed it. So much that your chest ached with the thought of it. But you missed Azriel even more.

“Come back to me,” He said, cradling your head to his chest, “Come home with me.”

You bit back any more excuses you could think of and instead just nodded. Because you didn’t want to be apart from him any longer. You still weren’t sure if you deserved to return home after everything you did. But you did know that you couldn’t be separated from Azriel any longer, it would kill you.

“Okay,” You whimpered.

Light came around you again as Az unwrapped his wings. Rhys was eyeing you both carefully. Not quite sure what to do or how to react. He’d never seen you and Az look so intimate before, but he knew in his soul that it was right. He would never try to keep the two of you apart as your father had. Because he knew there was no better person to love his little sister than Azriel.

“Okay?” Rhys questioned.

“Let’s go get your things, okay?” Az asked you carefully.

You just nod in his arms, not wanting to let him go just yet. Shadows swirled around you, tangling into your hair, singing their sweet song gently into your ear. You felt at home in his arms, with his shadows swirling around the two of you. You felt at home with him, and everything he was.

“Okay,” You whisper, looking up at him, “But can you kiss me again?”

His beautifully scarred hands gently cupped your cheeks, shadows twirling around his arms, kissing your cheeks with their soft, cool, touch.

“I’ll kiss you all of the time,” He promised, “I have you back, and I don’t want to let you go.”

You could feel it then, the little thread in your chest pulling taunt. The one that you ignored for years. It was as if your whole heart started to beat again, after being still for so long. He was single handedly bringing you back to life. A job only he could do.

He leaned down and captured your lips with his, kissing you so softly that you groaned and pulled him closer, wanting to feel all of him. You forgot about your brother being in the room, who’d now turned his back to give you privacy.

You broke away from him first, gasping for air. He quite literally kissed away the air from your lungs. It made you laugh, a sound you hadn’t heard in a very long time.

“Let’s go home,” You took a deep breath as you said it, squeezing Azriel’s hand, “Take me home, Az…Please.”

Tag List

@historygeekqueen @queerqueenlynn @hnyclover @thelov3lybookworm @witchymomfrien @one-big-fangirl @amara-moonlight @annamariereads16 @maddybraps @saltedcoffeescotch @wallacewillow0773638 @minnieoo @st0rmyt @hunterksmith @sleepylunarwolf @sh4n @emryb @mikatanazaki @nickishadow1392 @ilovespideyyy @mysticalfuncollectorus @judig92 @tele86 @oksloan3 @darling006 @dr4g0ngirl @weasleyreidstyles @ren-ni @fleurrreads @i-am-infinite @thestartitaness @fxckmiup @inloveallthetime @isa1b2h3 @fightmedraco @gorillaglue25 @val-writesstuff @acourtofdreamsandshadows @thebeautifulmysteriesoflife @mybestfriendmademe @azzydaddy @lilah-asteria

#acomaf #acotar #acotar fanfiction #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #acotar fic #azriel acotar #azriel fanfic #azriel shadowsinger

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