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girlsbtrs · 3 years

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My Senior Soundtrack - Playlist

Written by Jen Moglia. Graphic by Allison Thompson.

At the end of this month, I’ll finally be graduating high school. Typing that sentence definitely felt surreal.

Years and years of hard work and stress, with some not-so-bad times mixed in, will culminate in the moment I’ve been waiting for for as long as I can remember. I had been told countless times that senior year would be easy and that high school would consist of the best years of my life, and while I did enjoy a lot of it, there were also some incredibly difficult times, especially this year.

What follows is a list of songs that got me through some of those darker moments. I hope that they can be there for you too.

“Roses” - Watsky

Favorite Lyric: “Leaving is supposed to be hard / Man, I thought it so was selfish of people I love to keep falling out of my life / But now I know / No, I don't take it personal”

This was a song that I connected with a lot when making decisions for college - did I want to move away and start a new adventure on my own, or did I want to stay home with all the people and places that I knew and loved? Listening to these lyrics helped me feel better about my decision to move away for school, learning that I wasn’t selfish for wanting to start fresh.

“Never Grow Up” - Taylor Swift

Favorite Lyric: “And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots / But don't make her drop you off around the block / Remember that she's gettin' older too / And don't lose the way that you dance / Around in your PJs getting ready for school”

Taylor Swift is one of my favorite artists of all time, and this song has been hitting particularly hard for me lately. For as much as I can’t wait to start this next chapter of my life, there’s so much about home and my family that I’ll miss more than they will ever know.

“Boston” - Augustana

Favorite Lyric: “She said ‘I think I'll go to Boston / I think I'll start a new life / I think I'll start it over / Where no one knows my name’”

Augustana’s most popular song, I listened to this track a ton when I was first starting high school, dreaming of running away someday. The fact that that day is almost here is crazy to me.

“Swim” - Jack’s Mannequin

Favorite Lyric: “You gotta swim, swim in the dark / There's no shame in drifting / Feel the tide shifting and wait for the spark / Yeah, you gotta swim, don't let yourself sink / Just find the horizon / I promise you, it's not as far as you think”

Another song that I loved in my late middle school/early high school years, this band and all of Andrew McMahon’s projects in general have been staples in my Spotify library for years. This track in particular served as motivation for me to keep going during hard times.

“North Hansen” - Bearings

Favorite Lyric: “I've got dreams, I've got needs / I've got things I believe / That I just can not let go / I still, think about you every single day / I still miss that old North Hansen Home / Sometimes I wanna go home / All I'm saying is the ending scares me every time / Your words replaying / Over and over I save them in my mind / Now I'm grabbing a hold / Of what's about to unfold”

On the flip side, Bearings has been a huge part of the last few years of my high school experience; their 2019 tour with Grayscale, Belmont, and Rich People was the first tour I ever did multiple dates of, and those days and nights I spent traveling and singing my heart out truly changed my life. I leaned on this band’s entire discography during my junior and senior year, but this song specifically reminded me that it’s okay to be scared of leaving home as the future approaches.

“Ribs” - Lorde

Favorite Lyric: “This dream isn't feeling sweet / We're reeling through the midnight streets / And I've never felt more alone / It feels so scary getting old / I want 'em back / The minds we had / How all the thoughts / Moved 'round our heads”

How could I make a “coming of age” playlist without this song on it? Lorde has been a big part of my life for a while now - her hit song “Royals” was the ringtone on my first Smartphone in fifth grade, and I saw her live for the first time on the night before my 15th birthday on her Melodrama World Tour in Brooklyn, New York. Much like the last song, this track perfectly captures the fear of the future and getting older.

“Atlantic” - Grayscale

Favorite Lyric: “This place feels more and more like nowhere to me / I'm sick of waiting for a fire to ignite / I could just leave here without a goodbye / I'll burn down this bridge / And set my life up in smoke...I want to go / Run from this panic / I need the unknown”

As I mentioned earlier, attending four dates of Grayscale’s Nella Vita Part One Tour and six dates of the album cycle in total (bringing me to a grand total of ten times seeing this band) was a formative experience for me. Getting to end every night screaming the lyrics to this song, once again, dreaming of starting a new life as soon as I could, was cathartic.

“City Lights” - Emblem 3

Favorite Lyric: “Caught up in those pretty city lights / Wishing on a star for your direction / Thinking of a new and different life / Babe, I know this one ain't what you've been dreaming”

I choreographed my “senior solo” in my dance class to this song, one of my favorites for many years. Although I have a feeling it’s about someone moving thousands of miles away to chase dreams of stardom rather than moving two hours away to attend college, it certainly served as a source of comfort for me.

“Play” - Rich People

Favorite Lyric: “Because I know I'm beautiful enough / For someone to love / I don't know many things / But I feel everything / And I'm just too young to give up”

Rich People is my favorite band of all time, which you probably already know if you follow me on social media, and getting to watch them perform and connect with them was a major part of why following the Nella Vita Part One Tour was so pivotal for me. This song is my favorite off of their most recent album “Harmony”, and my graduation cap will have these lyrics in frontman Rob Rich’s handwriting on it later this month. This band and this song mean everything to me.

“Dream Envy” - Rich People

Favorite Lyric: “It's no way to live / Sitting on the fence asking myself ‘what if?’”

Another Rich People song, no surprise here, this is one of my favorites from their first release, “Jacob’s Ladder.” It reminded me that “sitting on the fence asking myself ‘what if?’”, is, indeed, no way to live, and it pushed me to make definitive decisions, leaving no stone unturned.

“Something Bigger Than This” - Trophy Eyes

Favorite Lyric: “I'm still flying through my twenties / Waiting for someone to say I made it / Golden boy, tiny paycheck / Big ideas and broken heartstrings / Waking up in the same old skin / It ain't easy to believe / We were born for something bigger than this / It don't make much sense right now / But it will all come together when the lights go out”

I saw Trophy Eyes live for the first time at the start of my sophomore year at the Stereo Garden in Patchogue, New York, leaving my last-period algebra class early to attend their show with Neck Deep, WSTR, and Stand Atlantic (sorry, Ms. Sloane). Their music has resonated deeply with me since then, and this song has especially been a huge source of motivation for me when I was feeling down about myself.

“Forevermore” - The Maine

Favorite Lyric: “Never really ever felt this type of vulnerable / Don't have to hide, don't have to fear / All you have to be is here...And I said, ‘I wanna feel like this forever’ / Even if forever's just for now / We're on fire, let us burn / As the outside world, it turns / We are here and alive / In our corner of time / Forevermore”

The Maine is another band that I feel has been here for me for as long as I can remember, remaining in my daily rotation since the summer before high school started. This song, off their most recent album “You Are OK”, has reminded me that wherever I am is exactly where I need to be at that point in time and to embrace every single moment.

“Flowers on the Grave” - The Maine

Favorite Lyric: “Feel the moment all around you / And the quiet that surrounds you / The time you have is sacred / Don't wait around and waste it / They can't take that away from you / Everything is temporary / Even the sorrow that you carry...'Cause you don't plan life, you live it / You don't take love, you give it / You can't change what is written / So when fate cries, you listen / And flowers on the grave / Of the child that I used to be”

The first time that I saw The Maine was at the New York City date of their “The Mirror” tour at Webster Hall. When they closed with this song, I was near inconsolable; my friends were practically passing me around to hug me and make sure I was alright. Similar to the last song, this track reminds me to live life to the fullest and not take anything for granted, not wasting any time mourning the past and only looking towards the future.

“Old Book” - Real Friends

Favorite Lyric: “It really weirds me out / Because I never thought I'd be where I am today...This isn’t where I want to be / Getting older scares the shit out of me”

On the topic of bands that were constants for me in my formative years, Real Friends was one of the first pop-punk bands that I truly loved. I wore a shirt with their “The Home Inside My Head” album cover on it on my first day of high school, and their 2018 show with Eat Your Heart Out, Grayscale, and Boston Manor at Irving Plaza in New York City was one of my first real general admission concerts; I don’t think I’d be where I am today if I didn’t go to that show. This song always served as a reminder that I wasn’t alone in my worries about the future, and that it would all be okay, even if I didn’t know what I was doing or where I was going.

“Satellite” - Rise Against

Favorite Lyric: “We'll come clean and start over / The rest of our lives / When we're gone, we'll stay gone / Out of sight, out of mind / It's not too late, we have the rest of our lives...This is a life that you can’t deny us now”

Four years ago this week, I saw Rise Against for the first time, opening for Deftones at Jones Beach in Wantagh, New York with my dad; at the end of July, I’ll get to see them kick off their latest tour at Pier 17 in New York City with one of my best friends. If that isn’t a full-circle moment, I don’t know what is. Rise Against is one of my favorite bands of all time, and their music has always made me feel strengthened and empowered. This song specifically inspired me to reclaim my own life, not letting anyone else determine the outcome and my mindset but myself - it’s also the perfect angsty soundtrack to a fresh start.

“Something Special” - A Will Away

Favorite Lyric: “‘Pull out your clothes / You're made for something special’ / If that's what it takes to get you out of bed / You think you're meant for California / But that's just in your head / I saw you howling at the street lights / Pressed against the skin you want to shed / You tore down all the walls for answers / And found this shit instead...Don't let the poison that surrounds you / Stifle out the life you want to live / Please know it truly doesn't matter / And truly never did”

Though I’ve been listening to them since my sophomore year of high school, A Will Away is a band that I really got into this year as a senior. “Something Special” is my favorite song off of their album “Here Again”, and while I know it wasn’t written about finding friends that feel like family, rejecting negativity, and starting a new chapter, that’s certainly what it’s about for me.

“Lead Balloon” - Vanna

Favorite Lyric: “This isn't how we die / You're not reading the ending right / You are meant for greatness / Open up your eyes and face it / Now to your feet and follow me / The road is hard but you're harder / Can't you feel your heartbeat starting?...You're weak but you can feel now / Your soul slowly getting out / You are so strong / And you'll have to carry on now / Cause I know that you know how”

Vanna’s “All Hell” was an album I discovered around this time last year, and I listened to it non-stop for all of summer 2020. It became one of my favorite records ever (and not just because of the pink aesthetic, though I do appreciate the use of my favorite color). When I was struggling a lot during the first few months of the COVID-19 pandemic in more ways than I could count, this song really helped me through, these lyrics in particular. It gave me hope that I’d make it to the end of my senior year celebrating, which, thankfully, I did.

“Give Yourself A Try” - The 1975

Favorite Lyric: “Won’t you give yourself a try?”

While the lyrics of this song are a bit odd, frankly pessimistic, and hard for a teenager to relate to, its catchy, more optimistic chorus served as a mantra for me throughout my last few years of high school. If I couldn’t take a chance on myself, why would anyone else want to? This song’s refrain sparked a ton of self-love in me, and I spent many nights dancing around to it in my bedroom. Also, I couldn’t leave this band off of this list - I’ve been listening to them since their self-titled LPs came out when I was 10 years old, and the album that this song is off of, “A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships”, is one of my favorite records of all time.

“Garden Song” - Phoebe Bridgers

Favorite Lyric: “I don't know how, but I'm taller / It must be something in the water / Everything's growing in our garden...She told me my resentment's getting smaller / No, I'm not afraid of hard work / I get everything I want”

Much like A Will Away, Phoebe Bridgers is an artist that I had known of and had recommended to me for years, but I only really started listening to her as a senior in high school. “Kyoto” and “Would You Rather” are probably my favorites by her, but this song, along with “It’ll All Work Out”, helped me through feeling scared for the future and wondering how I grew up so quickly.

“Growing Up” - The Maine

Favorite Lyric: “We'll never lose what we had...Growing up won't bring us down / Graduate, what's a kid to do now? / Get away, yeah / We've got so much to prove / 'Cause it's time to move on / And I start to let go...We're in this together / Yeah, we'll make it somehow / Nothing's gonna stop us now”

Finally, to close it out, one more song by one of my favorite bands ever, and one of the bands that carried me throughout my senior year, as well as all of my high school years. I had to include this one - my graduation pictures were captioned “graduate, what’s a kid to do now?” At its core, this is a song about holding on to childlike energy and teenage memories despite growing up and moving on. Every time I listen to it (which has been a lot, lately), I’m reminded that I have the best friends in the world who have given me some of the happiest years of my life, and that doesn’t have to end just because we’re getting older. “Growing up won’t bring us down.”

For more songs like this, you can follow my Spotify playlist titled “senioritis” here.

Congratulations to everyone who is celebrating this month, whatever you might be graduating from!

#jennifer moglia

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buckyscrystalqueen · 4 years

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Fresh Start: Part 3

Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Cop!Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Swearing.

Word Count: 4,168

A/N: Got the idea for this one while watching ‘The Town’.

Part 1 / Part 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You walked into court for the second time from a heavily guarded back room, ten times more terrified than the last time. This time, you had large, dark sunglasses on your face in a vane attempt to cover the bruise and patched up cuts on the right side of your face and a scarf over your head to cover what the sunglasses couldn’t. You knew you wouldn’t be able to keep them on in the court room, but you were still going to hold as much of your dignity as you could.

“Ms. Odinson. How are you today?” Nick Fury, who had been Thor… and at one point, your lawyer, asked after you had been sworn in again.

“I’m fine.” You said with a nod over the judge asking you to remove your glasses and scarf. You took a deep breath and kept your eyes strictly on Tony this time as a woman in the jury box gasped at the sight of your cheek. You could almost see your brother’s smirk out of the corner of your eye as he sat back in his chair, causing the chains of the shackles he was being forced to wear for attacking you to rattle. So you simply sat up a little straighter and looked up at Nick.

“I just have a few questions for you today.” Nick started in as he purposely moved directly between you and Tony to mess with your mind. “What time did Jack show up at your place for dinner?”

“It wasn’t my place.” You said with a shake of your head. “I lived in a small apartment with no real kitchen at that time in my life. We were at my broth’a’s house. I serve supp’a at 6:30 every Sunday. I would say he arrived five minutes before that.”

“And what time did my client allegedly shoot one of his dearest friends?”

“I didn’t look at a clock, suh… but I would guess it would have been about seven…”

“What else did you talk about that night?” He asked quickly. “Besides the alleged bank robberies you claimed he orchestrated and the supposed drug deals. What did you talk about?” You startled the slightest bit and actually looked over your brother since you had never been asked that question before.

“Well it started with my sauce recipe. See, I use ground sausage in the sauce when I cook it and then more sausage in the lasagne. Can’t use too much extra seasonings either; get enough of it in the sausage. It’s all about practice and timing…”

“What else?” Fury asked, almost cutting you off in an attempt to trip you up.

“Well, we talked about a painting that I had put up over the stove. Ain’t nothing special. It was just something I found at a thrift store for a nickel. He told me his sister painted and I asked…”

“What else?” Fury interrupted again. You huffed but took a deep breath immediately after, not appreciating the way this man was speaking to you but knowing he was doing just to get you riled up.

“That’s all.” You said shortly as you wrapped your scarf around your hand. “Thor got aggravated and started talking business so I shut up.”

“When you originally spoke to the police.” Fury said as he walked back over to his table to grab your original statement. “You told them that Jack stayed for dinner, and after dinner, you cleaned up, and went home. Is that right?”

“That is what I said, yes. But…”

“You also said the last time we saw you that you supposedly lied out of fear, correct?”

“Rightfully so.” You said as you gestured to your face.

“Your honor, can you instruct the witness to answer yes or no only, please?” You took another deep breath as the judge repeated the instructions to you. You looked straight forward and found Bucky, who had slipped into the back of the gallery. He gave you a short nod and pulled his leather jacket to the side to show a screen printed black shirt with Jessica’s photo on it, making a small smile pull at the corner of your lips.

“Yes.” You said to the repeated question as you looked back over at Nick.

“Were you arrested in 2013 for possession of narcotics?”

“Objection!”

“Goes to character.” Fury said as he pretended to study the papers in his hand as if they were the most important documents in the history of the world.

“Overruled.” The judge sighed.

“Yes, I was.” You said with a nod as you finally glanced at your brother, who looked so smug it was almost disgusting. It was the look he used to give you when he knew he was winning at any games you played.

“And you plead not guilty?”

“Correct.”

“So you lied again there, correct?” You felt your teeth grind together as you tightened your grip on your scarf.

“Situationally…”

“Your honor!”

“Yes!” You said a little loudly before swallowing your aggravation down. You looked away from him and looked at the small glimpse of Jessica’s face that you could see. “Yes, I lied.”

“So, why should we believe that you’re not lying here today?” He asked a little loudly as he dropped the papers on the table.

“Because you have to believe that people are capable of changing for the ones they love.” You looked over at him with zero emotion on your face but your eyes continued on to your brother and you shook your head. “Because you have to believe that at the end of the day, I am just a moth’a that would do anything for her daught’a’s safety. And if that means I have to turn my back on my broth’a because he is a dang’a to her well being, and he is asking me be a dang’a to her well being as well, I will. I am doing this for Jessica. Not because I don’t love my broth’a. But because I love my daught’a more.” You looked back up at Fury before turning to look straight forward at the photo once more. It took Fury a second before he shook his head.

“I’ve got nothing more.” He said as he sat down.

“Cross.” Tony said quickly as he shot up from his chair. You looked over at him as he moved just to the edge of the table. “Ms. Odinson, did you or did you not see the defendant shoot Jack?”

“I did.” You said with a nod.

“And did you, or did you not originally lie about it under your brother’s instruction?”

“I did.”

“Last one. Did you or did you not decide on your own that coming clean about what you saw was the right thing to do no matter what the consequences could have been?”

“I did.” You stated one final time.

“Thank you, (Y/N). That’s all I have for you today.”

“You may go, Ms. Odinson.” The judge said quietly. You nodded your head and looked over at your brother for the last time before quickly putting your sunglasses back on. You walked out of the witness box, and disappeared through the side door where there were two Marshalls waiting for you to take you back to the WITSEC holding center so you could get ready for your new life.

——

“This is a house.” You said a little slowly as you worked hard on turning your Boston accent into a slightly New York/ slightly accent less sounding one, much to your displeasure.

“This is our house.” Bucky said as he pulled your new to you Hyundai Santa Fe into the driveway of a three bedroom, three bathroom Las Vegas, Nevada home. “New house for the new (Y/L/N) family.”

“I’ve ne-ver lived in’a house before.” You said as you leaned forward to look at the fake grass covered front yard. “This isn’t real.” You said as you sat back and looked at your fiancé with your eyebrows raised. “No, you’re just teasin’ me.”

“I’m really not.” He chuckled as he pulled into the two car garage and shut off the engine.

“James.”

“(Y/N).” He said with a smile as he put the car in park and turned off the engine. He looked over at you and gestured vaguely with his hand. “Go on. Go Townie…”

“This is faackin’ ridiculous!” You nearly screeched in the accent you been hiding for weeks as he sat in the car, and waited for you to get it out. “Ain’t no one in the Town lives this nice. Like we’re damn royals ‘er some shit. You know, houses like this means ya got shit ta rob. I’d’a robbed a house like this.”

“Well it’s a good thing you threatened to cut off someone’s dick so we could keep Dakota then.” He said with a nod as he looked back at the dog that was laying across the back seat, fast asleep.

“Even still. Catch chaages ‘ere, boy, I tell ya. This bitch… this bitch’s ours? No shit?”

“No shit.” Bucky laughed.

“Babe. Baaaabe. Stop.”

“Do you even wanna see inside?” He asked as he gestured to the door leading into the house. “You picked out all that furniture last week, you gotta have somewhere to put it…”

“Oh moth’a fuckin’ right I’mma go inside. Tha’s my moth’a fuckin’ house. Gotta find places for the damn guns!”

“You can take the girl outta the Town.” He chuckled behind you as you let Dakota out of the back while he got a still waking up Jessie out of her car seat.

“Ooo, no more quarters!” You said as you pointed to the washer and dryer in the little laundry room. “No more scrubs chattin’ me up at the mat.”

“I love how it’s always the little things with you.” He teased as he followed you into the kitchen while Dakota ran into the house to investigate and make sure everything was OK.

“Bucky!” You hissed as you dead stopped in front of him, nearly forcing him to run into you as you turned around and whacked his arm. “A dishwash’a!”

“And counter space for me to cook.” He said as he gestured with his elbow to the white marble countertops that ran the length of three of the four walls of the medium kitchen except for the places left open for new appliances the WITSEC people would be helping you finance until you both found jobs.

“Yea, cause we all know I cain’t cook for shit.” You said as you looked in the small pantry built into the fourth wall beside the door to the laundry room. You turned to look at the massive living room (that had very questionable grey tile like the entire first floor) and stopped again at the sight of water. “Wait. That ain’t what I think it is.”

“I don’t know what you think it is.” Your fiancé said with a smile as he put the diaper bag on the counter and moved Jess to his other hip. “So you might as well go look for yourself.” You shot him a glare over your shoulder as you walked quickly across the room toward a sliding glass door that had a cage like screen door fitted over it.

“Fuck off.” You said as you stepped out into your decent sized, walled in back yard, and looked at the pool with a cute little rock waterfall in the deep end to your right that actually belonged to you. “This is a dream.”

“Here, why don’t you take Jessica.” Bucky said as the movers rang the door bell to drop off the boxes of the belongings you brought from Boston and all of the new furniture you had picked out for your house. “And see how she feels about being in a swimming pool. I’ll help the movers out. That way you don’t have to practice New York in your excitement.”

“James.” You whispered as you took your suddenly super talkative daughter from your fiancé with a smile and a hint of tears. “Thank you. I never would have done this without you.”

“Anything for the woman I love and our little girl.” He said softly as he gave you a chaste kiss. “Please don’t be naked when I come back out here.”

“That ain’t happening.” You replied honestly as you kicked off your flip flops and walked over to the shallow, beach entry. “You ain’t never been in a pool before, Jessie. This’ll be fun for you. And you are gunna have to get naked just like Mommy…”

“I heard that!” Bucky said over Jessie’s babbles and the few miscellaneous words she knew as he pushed the sliding glass doors open all the way for the grill, and the small fire pit and couple rocking chairs you just had to have.

“Nak-ee baby!” You said as New Yorker as possible as you pulled off the dress you had on your daughter, and tossed it to the side. “Nak-ee Mommy!”

“Mama! Ball!”

“Don’t you do it!” He chuckled as you stepped out of your jeans, choosing to placate him by leaving your thong on.

“Tan lines.” You said with a glare at him as you sat down on the edge to take off your shirt, which caused one of the younger movers to put down your rocking chair roughly and bee line it back into the house.

“Modesty.” He said as he watched you stand up and pull the strap of your panties up a bit on your hips to slightly cover the ‘Boston Strong’ Massachusetts state shaped tattoo on your hip, which according to your new “official” life story was a memorial to your dead mother who was born and raised in Boston and the location of your birth and the first couple years of your life before you “moved to New York”. You hated that it no longer could stand for your love of your hometown. “Damn, baby. The things I would do to you…”

“That’s how we got this one.” You said as you walked out into the sun warmed water. “Want another?”

“Oh, hell yea.” He said as he turned away to help direct the movers with your belongings.

“Yea, Daddy’s crazy if he thinks I’m puttin’ this body through another baby. You were bad enough on me, you little punkin’. Weren’t you?” You smiled at your baby girl infectious laugh as you carefully walked down the two steps to lower you both into the three feet of water. “What’s that?” You asked playfully as you took a couple steps away from the shelf so she could start to figure out the concept of the pool. “We swimming? It’s like a giant bathtub.” You pulled off her diaper since it swelled nearly instantly and stuck it on the side of the pool as you continued to slowly walk deeper into the pool.

“We never had a swimmin’ pool growing up.” You said at nearly a whisper as you moved to stand just in the shade created by the long pergola so your daughter didn’t get burned with this much stronger sun and so that you could watch the guys moving things into your new home. “That ain’t true. When we were kids, your grand pop bought a plastic above ground pool. Just a round circle with a cheap as fuck ladder. We had it for a whole week until your uncle busted the side open with his skateboard. Faackin’ idiot.” Jess laughed as you pat your hand on the water.

“Yea, baby girl. Us Townies ain’t never seen nothin’ this nice, though. Had ta have money for them in ground fucks. But you, my little meatball, get a beautiful pool in a nice, safe neighborhood. You don’t gotta worry ‘bout walking down to the spa for groceries. Ain’t gotta worry ‘bout the crazies or drugs or bank robberies every other day. None of it. And you know why? Because you, little girl, have the best damn daddy in the whole damn world.”

“Dada.”

“Yea, Dada.” You said with a nod as you cupped some water in your hand and poured it over the back of her head to keep her cool. “He’s a wicked good man, baby girl. Way better than your Ma deserves.”

“Baf.” Jess said as she tried, unsuccessfully to get water in her little hands to put on her head to ‘help’, only succeeding in splashing you both with water.

“Sure, punkin’. This can be your bath.” You giggled as you sunk down in the water a little more. “We’ll stay out here all day for your bath while the boys do the hard work inside. How about that?” Jessie simply giggled and splashed more water on both of you, trying to give herself a bath like you did every night. “God, you’re such a meatball” You laughed as you helped her put more water on her head like she apparently wanted. “You are so my kid.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So I think we should redo this back yard.” Bucky said as he looked out the far set of sliding glass doors, which lead to the other side of your back yard. “I don’t like that metal fence separating the pool. Bars are too far apart. She could just slip right through…”

“Babe, we just fuckin’ moved in.” You sighed as you unloaded boxes of toys into baskets along the back wall beside the new, very comfortable, grey, ‘u’ shaped couch while keeping an eye on Jessica as she pulled the toys right back out of the baskets and scattered them across the floor in what you were temporarily deeming as ‘her spot’. “Can you maybe finish setting up the TV first?”

“That’d be easy to rip out. Same with this dumb brick.” He said more to himself as he gestured vaguely in that direction. “Grass this whole area in with that fake grass shit…”

“Bucky.” You said in a sing song voice as you broke down the empty box and added it to the growing pile by the front door so you could go put all the toys back into their baskets again. “TV, please.”

“Little swing set for Jess. This live oak is nice for shade… hammock between those two palms…

“James! Put my damn TV together so your kid can stop ripping apart my living room!” Your fiancé turned around with a huff and a smirk as he watched Jess grab the toy you had literally just put away and throw it on the pink, flower carpet with a laugh.

“OK!” He said as he raised his hands in surrender. “TV.”

“Why you gotta be a damn pain in my ass?” You asked both him and Jessica as you scooped her up, grabbed the toy from her hand, and put it back in the basket. “What’r you doin’, punk, huh? You just pissin off your Ma just ‘cause you can?” You blew a loud raspberry on her cheek and pretended to drop her by moving her to straddle your stomach, holding her head and body to your chest, and dipping both of you down toward the ground. She squealed loudly and took off running when you put her down, making Dakota jump up from where he was watching near the half bathroom to follow her.

“How long have you had him?” Bucky asked as you walked over and started to push a box of his books toward the entertainment center he was setting the TV up on.

“Who, Dakota?” You asked as you pulled open the box. “‘Bout two months after Thor got locked up. Couple days after I found out I was pregnant. I just wanted to know that my kid was safe. So I bought the most vicious looking puppy I could find and had a guy from the block teach me how to train him to be a guard dog that was good with kids. And damn did I get a good one. He’s taken a beating from Jess. She climbs all over him, she’ll even just lay on him and yell at me about bed time right by his ear and he just takes it. She’s his baby.” Bucky nodded his head slowly as he hooked up the cable box that the cable company had dropped off that morning.

“I tried finding you.” He said as you walked over to grab your box of DVD’s. “After, I mean. I tried so damn hard. It was about six months after. I went back to your old apartment but the lady next door said you’d just left one night. She’d no idea where you went…”

“I moved into one of Thor’s places.” You sighed. “Rent was paid up for a whole year, bills were all paid for with money he kept stashed there. It wasn’t even a debate in my head. I cleaned out my cash stash, moved out, and sold all my furniture to some guy few blocks over who was moving in to the section 8 housing for wicked cheap. Got rid of my main car to pay for Jessie’s doctor visits.”

“That’s why I couldn’t find anything in your name.” He said, sadly as you both turned around to look at your daughter as she rattled the baby gate that prevented her from going upstairs. “Jessica!” Your daughter whipped around so quickly she stumbled and landed on her butt. “Leave it alone. No.” Her bottom lip trembled for only a moment before Dakota came over to give her a kiss and nudge her until she stood up again to keep playing.

“I know you didn’t want to leave.” You said softly as you watched Jess put her butt in the air to get her feet under her before grabbing on to her four legged best friend so she didn’t topple over. “I’d like to think I knew you well enough to know that. But we both have to accept that our… relationship is wicked fuckin’ complicated. I have to accept that I don’t know what’s true and what was a lie about what you told me about yourself. And you have to accept that me and your daughter were unfortunately collateral damage because of your job. It sucks, we both hate it.

But we are also here together; just you and me. Not that I mind that at all because have you seen you naked? And have you cried on your shoulder? And for fucks sake, have you ever, ever met another poor fuck that can sit and listen to me for any fucking stretch of time? Do you think anyone else can put up with sleeping with me? No, because you’re the fucking saint to my satan. But you need to remember something. We are actually, legally new people here. I’m a fucking secretary for fucks sake. And you’re a fucking mechanic. So now, we get to develop those people together. Like… I think, I spent a spring break in Miami Beach and I was on some spring break pool party music video show on MTV. And you could be an army vet…”

“I am an army vet.” He interrupted.

“Then you can still be an army vet, jerk face.” You laughed as you gently pushed his shoulder. “Are you even hearing what I’m saying or is New James a shit listener?”

“I hear you.” He chuckled as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you over to him. “I hate that you’re the rational one of us and I’m the emotional one.”

“That’s what you get when you’re raised on the streets of Charlestown. Rationality.” You both looked over at a single bark, a large bang, and Jessica’s sudden scream cry, and you had no idea which one of you ran into the kitchen faster to get to her. She had somehow managed to pull the oven open, and it must have knocked her down when gravity took over.

“Oh, my poor baby.” Bucky cooed as he picked her up.

“Oh, she’s fine.” You said as you shut the oven with your heel and pointed at him. “Shoulda had the TV set up. She’d be watching Mickey Mouse right now.”

“You know what… fuck you.” He laughed as he cuddled his daughter closer. “Go be rational somewhere else.”

“I’m tellin’ you now, that baby may not be raised in the Town but she sure as fuck ain’t gunna be no pussy ass bitch baby, you hear me?” You called out as you grabbed the next DVD box. “She’s got Townie blood…”

“She’s got sweet New York blood, too.” He said as grabbed the two remotes and sat down with his little love to coddle her. “Tell your Mommy that you’re going to be a sweet little angel, aren’t you.”

“Oh, God help us all!” You groaned playfully as you unloaded the next box while Bucky set up the TV and cable under the watchful eyes of Jessie and Dakota.

Part 4

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #fresh start #cop!bucky x reader

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lookbluesoup · 5 years

Text

Fallout OC Interview

@robobrainmurdermysterytheatre and @quinndecker214 tagged me to do this LITERAL AGES ago! Thanks for this and IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG it got lost in my drafts I hope it was worth the wait //shot I TAG @nuclearvessel @ronqueesha @tarberrymentats @wild-w4steland-snip3r @daddyfuckinlonglegs @saltsealed @thewookieruns No pressure!!

Choose an OC.

Answer them as that OC.

Tag 5 people to do the same.

1. What is your name? Nathaniel Christian Wright. Maiden name Ronan, if, aha, you like fun-facts.

2. How old are you? You know I lost count somewhere after 240?

3. What do you look like?

4. Where are you from? Where do you live now? I was born a good ways South of here, spent most of my childhood there. Moved to Boston... before the War. Now I stay with Piper in Diamond City between work, got an infield view and everything! Never would have bet on that the day I woke up in the Vault. I guess life’s funny, hunh? I - ...I’m glad to be there.

5. What was your childhood like? Oh, nothing special, really. My Pa was ex-military, a chaplain. Ma stayed home to tend the house, and raise rambunctious sons. She was - good. I wonder sometimes whether she’d be proud of me, out here.

6. What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions? Well, I am K i n g of the Castle - a-hem, I mean, General. Yeah, just General. (//Ronnie distantly yells something about the joke not being funny the 80th time)

[[There are rumors of Nate being a leading Railroad Agent, but he absolutely would not admit to that in a casual interview xD]]

7. Tell me about your best friend. Deacon? Hah! What can’t I tell you about him! He’s got a two-dozen kids. Twelve wives. One’s a ghoul. He’s also a synth, but you didn’t hear that from me. Has an extra toe on his left foot. Those sunglasses aren’t a fashion statement, they’re glued to his face. Horrible accident, really. Inoperable. He can speak five languages, including Zetan. I swear, it’s all true! But, ah. He’s a good friend. Better than he knows.

8. Do you have a family? Tell me about them! My son, Shaun, lives here at the Castle. I wish I could bring him to Diamond City, let him make friends with the other kids, try to give him something of the life he might’ve had before the War. But I’ve got enemies. The Minutemen have enemies. Comes with the job. It’s safer for Shaun to be here, out of the limelight. And also, you know, with a barracks full of guns ready at a minute’s notice if there’s trouble. My men are family, too. Hell, I feel closer to the people here than I did most of my own blood in the old world. There’s also my butler, Codsworth. And Natalie, Piper’s little sister - well, she may as well be my little sister, too. But hey, keep that one off the record. Nat’d never forgive me.

9. What about a partner or partners? I’m a happily tethered man, bound for life to one kickass reporter, Mrs. Wright. You may have heard of her.

10. Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them? [Nate seems more guarded] Yeah, I know them. That graveyard across the channel used to be their airship. I wish it had ended differently, but... well, war never changes.

11. Who are your enemies, and why? I suppose that’s a natural follow-up question. Well, most of the Raider gangs will attack on sight. Gunners, too. But we’ve managed to clear a pretty safe stretch between major towns over the past year. Since the Minutemen have established a pro-synth stance, more than a few settlements shut their doors on us. Lost a fair number of volunteers. But no violence so far. Other than that... the remnants of Brotherhood here aren’t fond of me, personally. Why? We parted on bad terms. Lets just - leave it at that. Anyone else out here can tell you the story. There are Institute survivors, too. We tried to get as many noncombatants out as we could the day it fell, but it was a battle. It was messy. A lot haven’t forgiven me for turning on them. [sighs] ...Can you blame them? The Minutemen have kept a running list of Courser sightings since then. So many still aren’t accounted for. Keeps me up at night, sometimes.

12. What about The Enclave? I’ve heard rumors. None of them good. 13. How do you feel about Super Mutants? Tough bastards. I wish we could help them. I know they don’t all go crazy, and Virgil was making progress on a cure. But I haven’t seen him in years. We’re not - really on speaking terms.

14. Have you ever fought a Deathclaw? More than once, and never unscathed. Not bragging! It’s the truth. Take a look at this, [he rolls back his sleeve to show a massive scar running over his upper arm] Piper and I got pinned down, lizard gutted me and nearly lost me an arm. Also? Ruined my best flannel shirt.

15. What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in? Bunker Hill. What a hellscape. Between the Railroad and the Institute, things were hot enough. But somehow the Brotherhood found out, too. It’s a wonder Bunker Hill wasn’t razed to the ground. My Courser escort was killed in a Railroad ambush and the synths we were after escaped. I barely got out alive.

[[Nate actually killed X4-18 and helped the synths escape, but that’s another Railroad secret :’D]] 16. Do you like fighting? No. But I’ll do what I have to to stay alive and protect the people I care about. 17. What’s your weapon of choice? A modified radium rifle. I was a sniper back in my army days, it’s what I’m trained in. But if the fight does get close, this gun’s versatile enough to still be useful. Wish my loadout back in Anchorage did that. I’m fond of the laser musket, too - but you only get one shot, and then everyone will know exactly where you are. Strategically it’s too limited.

18. How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?) My winning charm, of course! [winks] And trekking all over the Commonwealth keeps me fit for when folks aren’t so interested in talking. Piper keeps the luck for both of us. I’m - pretty sure I’m cursed, actually.

S(6) P(7) E(8) C(11) I(7) A(5) L(2)

19. Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them? I suppose I should be grateful, really. If not for the Vaults, I’d have died two centuries ago. I’d never have met Piper, or taught Shaun to play baseball. None of this... none of this at all would have happened. [grimaces] Don’t get me wrong. Vault-tec was fucking insane. The things they did to people in some of those Vaults-? I was uncharacteristically lucky. There’s a reason they call me the Sole Survivor, and it’s not from winning some tv game show about living on an island.

20. How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you? My Pip-Boy has a Geiger counter built in so I can avoid the worst of it. But sometimes it can’t be helped. I always keep Rad-Away and Rad-X on hand. Other than that, I bring the old vault suit to wear under my clothes if I know exposure’s inevitable. It helps a little. Piper likes to tease me about that, but somehow I think she prefers me with hair and less than six limbs. Plus, my ass looks great in blue. Her words. Not mine. Yes, you can quote that.

21. What’s your favorite wasteland critter? The radstags, no doubt! [motions to Legs Washington] Look at those little extra arms wiggling around. Adorable.

22. What’s your least favorite wasteland critter? Yao guais. They are way too stealthy for something that big. I dunno what they’re eating up in Maine, but Far Harbor was full of them. Big, grumpy ones. And look, have you ever tried to outrun a bear? Don’t.

23. How do you feel about robots? I like the ones that aren’t shooting at me! Codsworth and Ada are friends. Isabel’s eyebot, Sparks? Adorable. I even got this hat from an old Sentry named Ironsides. Those Rust Devils and their junk bots though? I try not to fight them without a lot of backup. Got ambushed by a Succubus once. Not a good time. At all.

24. How many caps do you have on you right now? Why, you planning to rob me? Kidding. About 200, which is a lot for me generally speaking.

25. Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla? [Suddenly excited] Wait, does Sunset Sarsaparilla still exist?

26. Do you do chems? Aside from Med-X when I’ve been shot? Not if I can help it.

27. Do you ever think about the Pre-War world? Not as often as in the beginning, but it does happen sometimes. I’ll have dreams where I’m back in my old life, and it’s always... disorienting.

28. What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently? There are - a lot. I’ll admit it. Sometimes I wonder, if I’d only just - hm... Well. To be honest, I’ve been trying not to linger so much on what I’ve done wrong, and focus on what I can do right for the future instead. Piper taught me that.

29. What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve? I’ll always be proud to call myself Mr. Wright. If I can be half the man Piper tells me I am, I’ll consider it a life well lived.

30. What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world? Geeze, you could give my wife a run for her money with a loaded question like that! I want... a future where folks don’t have to be afraid of monsters coming after them in the night. I want synths to have a fair chance at living their own lives, as who they are, without pretending. I want Shaun to - be able to grow up. For myself? Everything I need is right here already.

#text #long post #fallout #fallout 4 #fallout oc interview #nate ronan #screenshot

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journal-of-an-outlaw · 5 years

Text

The Price to be Paid

Hey gang!

This is my very first Tumblr fanfiction. I used to write waaaay back but it’s been awhile. Just finished my first playthrough of Red Dead Redemption 2 and of course needed to write something about my story with it.

Feel free to message me with feedback or thoughts, like I said it’s been a few years so I’ll post this to Ao3 after awhile. Please like and reblog only, no reposting.

Chapter 1

“See that one? Easy. Go nick his watch.”

You laughed and smiled over your shoulder at Abigail as you walked over towards the cart that had stopped from one of the nearby farms selling apples in the middle of town, red and bursting to be eaten. A man who was picking out which ones looked best out of the pile didn’t seem flustered by your sudden appearance which was good. It made the next part easier.

“Oof! Excuse me sir, I didn’t see you there. Are you okay? Oh, let me help wipe that off your shirt.”

Coffee bled a dark brown down the man’s white shirt as he hastily moved to grab something to stop the spread, and you were ready with your handkerchief. While he snatched it out of your hands, you removed his pocket watch without him knowing, the pressure of your hands on his torso masking the motion. The cold coffee had been sitting on the edge of the cart as if someone had forgotten it in their haste to leave for the center of town. He huffed and hawed and made a bigger fuss than you could have hoped for, but the nearby prying eyes only saw a silly girl who managed to spill coffee onto the boy buying apples.

You smiled one last time at him and batted your eyes then flounced down the street and around the alley to meet Abigail. She laughed and grabbed your shoulder while you showed her the watch; no engraving or photo slipped inside which made you relax at the fact it wasn’t overly sentimental.

“Now see, this here is exactly what you can pawn off. A good 8 dollars for this, plus whatever else you can grab adds up fast. Then maybe...a way out?” her eyes were kind as her mouth twisted into a coy smile.

You smiled back at Abigail. The past few months while she and her gang were in town you had grown close. She hadn’t divulged too much about the people she ran with and that you could understand. The world was dangerous and full of opportunities and you couldn’t judge her for the choices she had made to keep her and those she cared about safe. You had never really left the town you were raised in and your family was your ‘gang’, but their secrets would never haunt others that you choose to surround yourself with. You knew she had a man, maybe not a husband but someone she loved. And a son that she loved more than anything in the world. Although she’s never told you outright about him, you’ve seen her buy (or steal) little trinkets and toys that no grown man would want. That’s when Abigail taught you the same tricks. How to divert the attention of shop owners so your hands could dart into your pockets with stolen food, or how to nab items to pawn to build up your own funds when you bump into folks and cause a scene. You had been eyeing the mountains outside of town a lot more lately, and thinking how great of an escape you could make.

“Where would I even pawn these? Do I walk in with everything at once?” you asked her. She contemplated for a moment. “You don’t want to walk in with arm loads of stolen things, but a few here and there should be okay...maybe clerks will let you trade them for goods! Like for food or clothes and such. There’s a good pawn shop in Rhodes, but that’s a long ways from here in Blackwater.”

Your hometown, or at least the place you had been raised in, was hot, dry, and desert like most of the year. The people were kind and you liked being situated by the river. On particularly hot nights you would sneak out and sit by the slow and lazy moving water, imagining it was carrying you someplace new and far away, where no one would know you and you could start over. But you knew that idea was just that and there was no escaping. Small fantasies were all you had. Some nights you yearned for your life that began in Boston, but Blackwater was the only home you had ever known.

Abigail brought you back to the present with her hand on your arm. “Y/N, I might have to leave soon. I don’t want to but there are things I can’t change that are set in motion by the people I’m with. You’re...well I guess my friend and I wanted to let you know.” You laughed at her hesitation to call you a friend. Knowing her it isn’t an insult. If anything, she means it as a way to say she doesn’t get close to many people and has somehow chosen you.

“Abigail I appreciate you telling me, but I’ll see you again! I am not worried.” Sometimes your blind optimism got the better of you. Damn those novels that you got lost in. Few things brought you pleasure like the chapters of a book.

The two of you clasped hands and parted for the day as the sun set behind you. Slowly but surely you were building a collection of items that had been lifted off the residents of Blackwater and were going towards your future pawn trips. As much as you loved the town and its dusty, dirty humbleness there was a darkness that lived there.

You neared your house and felt your heart drop to your stomach as the parlor light flickered on meaning your mother was not home, but your father was. Dad had a mean drinking problem, and as the man in charge of some government organization had power which mixed terribly with his vanity. He wanted everyone to know that he and he alone was in charge.

Climbing up the steps quietly you hoped to sneak by. That damn fourth step gave you away, and you silently swore as your father barked for you to come back down.

“Y/N! Get down here. How dare you walk by and not say hello to your father?” You mumble an apology and kissed him on the cheek, the smugness in him as strong as the whiskey on his breath. As you turned to head to the kitchen for dinner he grabbed your elbow hard enough to make you wince. “Were you in town today,” he asked, but it was more of a statement than a question. He must have seen you, or heard about Abigail somehow. “Y-yes father, I spent the day in town. At the market, there was a wagon from a nearby farm…” you drifted off and tried to walk to the other room. Your father stood abruptly, but was distracted by your mother opening the kitchen door. She was a force of pure good and the only thing that could tame your father’s wild ways. Her face beamed and invited you both for dinner.

“How was town today, Y/N? The apples look delicious.” You mother winked at you and motioned to the three red apples sitting on the counter waiting to be baked into a pie for dessert. While in town you didn’t even notice her so she must have moved quietly. The roast chicken and potatoes were delicious and you couldn't eat fast enough. After dinner, your father went out to the back porch to smoke while your mother sat and played cards with you.

“Mother, why don’t we just leave?” you whispered. This was a conversation you had had many times in the past. “If we packed and left at midnight he couldn’t track us. We could go to the mountains, move west or even north again! A new city with no one following us and we could make a new life. Work in an art gallery or a farm or...just some place nice and safe. Where no one could hurt us.” The darting of your eyes was not missed by your mother who had never known about your father and how his rage manifested late at night. He always did have a knack for hitting you in places that no one else would ever see.

Her hand was soft as it wrapped around your own. You knew this fantasy would never happen but you always hoped someday she would finally agree.

“My dear, we musnt run away from those things that we fear. Fear only increases when we turn our backs to escape rather than face it head on.”

********************************************************

The next day in town you met up with Abigail again. You knew the time was coming for her to leave from the way she clung to you a little tighter and laughed more forced and often. It made you sad to think that this bright light in your life lately would just be gone due to...whatever it was that would drag her away. Loyalty and family all meant something to you of course. But it was still upsetting to think that this exciting time would soon be over.

“The last thing I’ll teach you as a thief is this. In order to pull off a good heist, you have to believe. With everything you have. A poor orphan left to die on the side of the road? Believe. Someone who just got robbed and needs a ride to town? Believe. Someone who isn’t being abused by a man somewhere in town? Believe.”

She stared you down hard during this last line. You flinched and moved to cover the bruise that had been exposed when you rolled your sleeves up from the heat. A soft expression met you when you looked up to her blue eyes.

“I...It’s nothing I promise.”

“And that, hon, is exactly what I was talking about. You have to believe. Make it out of this town, safe. Please. If not for me, maybe just for you.” You watery eyes meet hers and you realized that it’s obvious to everyone but you that leaving may just be your last hope to being happy. The only issue you have is leaving your mother behind with the monster that hides behind the eyes of your father. His rage wasn’t always there. Mother said as a child you lived happily in Boston just the three of you. It was supposed to be four, and that’s where the trouble began. When your brother was lost a few days after his birth your father couldn't stand it. The whiskey was his crutch, and it soon became more of a constant burden. Every day it seemed he stumbled in from work already drowning in the vile stuff. Even the thought of its scent brought you gagging now. Your mother says that’s the reason you had to leave the northern city and move to the nowhere town of Blackwater and start all over again. That drink and the havoc it caused.

While you had the time the two of you decided to celebrate. Sitting in the saloon you clinked your drinks and cheersed to seeing each other soon someday. Abigail loved hometown whiskey and your poison of choice was gin. Many drinks later and the two of you stumbled out to the main road, needing fresh air after leading the whole bar in a great rendition of a popular song. You swayed in the heat that met you outside of the doors. A huge commotion down by the water caused half the town out to come bursting out to the roads behind you. Galloping horses, screaming, and gunshots were all you could make out. Damn those drinks and whatever was in them! You couldn't see more than four feet in front of you, and everything beyond that was a big old blur.

“Y/N! We need to move. Now!” Abigail somehow sobered up and was in charge of the whole situation. “Get behind that building and pretend you don’t know me-” but her words were cut short by a man grabbing her arm and yanking her down the road.

“Abigail!! Hey! Let her go!” You chased, well, more like stumbled after, the pair and beat his arm with your fists. He released Abigail and grabbed your hands, shoving them down by your sides and forcing you to stare into his eyes.

“Now what in the hell are you doing?” You stare dumbstruck into his face thinking that you might have landed yourself right into one of your novels. Beautiful blue eyes searched your drunken face and you couldn’t even speak. His eyebrows pulled together and crows feet showed around the edges of his eyes, years of the open sun and road changing the landscape of his face. Stringing coherent thoughts together was a struggle when Abigail shoved the man. “Arthur! Let her go she’s my...she’s my friend.”

Arthur raised his eyebrows, “Abigail I have to get you back to John-”

Three men raced around the street corner on horseback and shouted in your direction. “Those three! Stop them! They’re linked with them gangs from the riverboat!”

You swung around to face Arthur and Abigail. “What have you done. Your gang! What did you do!”

Arthur swore and grabbed you by your waist. “Abigail, get on that grey horse there. The bay is mine.” She nodded and took off down the road. You cursed and swung as hard as you could but it was no use, this man had you captive as he put you on the horse and followed Abigail. The lawmen were not too far behind and you heard the bullets they fired whisk by you and hit the buildings down the street. From the back of a horse you watched the faces of people you knew zip by faster and faster, and with them the memory of who you were confined to be quickly slipped away. What a strange turn of events in the past few months. Abigail had taught you how to pickpocket and thief your way hopefully to a new life, but instead of taking that route here one was riding you off on a horse. It scared you, but you couldn't look back.

A sharp and terrible pain grabbed you suddenly as a bullet met your left side below your ribs. Screaming, you almost fell off the horse but managed to clutch onto Arthur’s shirt with weak fingers. He turned around at the noise and seemed upset as his face filled with worry when looking at the blood spilling onto your shirt. The pain proved too much and the last thing you remember was landing on a hill of grass with dust swirling all around as the sound of pounding hooves raging your ears from all directions.

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #fanfic #arthur morgan #abigail roberts #john marston #reader story #reader fanfic #the price to be paid #i don't know how to name anything #arthur x reader #arthur morgan x reader #female reader

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rogertaylors-lipgloss · 5 years

Text

Love and Lasagna- Chapter Two

Warnings: Angst, Cursing, Soft Gwil, implied smut.

Word Count: 2,593

Let me know what you think and if you want to be added to the taglist!

Chapter Two

You stretched your arms out before rolling over and nestling back under the covers. Your eyes fluttered open suddenly when you realized that you were still at Gwil’s, his tall lanky frame draped lazily around you.

It had been several weeks since he had professed his love for you and vice versa. In an attempt to avoid the suspicion of your friends, you hadn’t spent the night at Gwil’s yet. Now that was all shot to hell. You let out an exasperated groan.

Mostly, you had been hoping to avoid incurring Georgie’s own personal rendition of the Spanish Inquisition. You still hadn’t forgotten the FBI-level interrogation skills Georgie had employed the year before when you’d had an awkward one-night stand with Ben Fletcher. He was a biology major who wouldn’t stop talking about the mating practices of earthworms, but you’d been drunk and horny enough to let him take you home. Georgie never judged you, especially considering that she brought many a suitor of her own back to your shared dorm room. No, Georgie was just nosy and you couldn’t tell a decent lie to save your life.

Gwil began to stir and pulled you back flush against his chest. Nose nuzzling the back of your neck, he whispered, “Good morning, darling.” He groaned sleepily and ground his hips into your ass.

“Good morning to you, too,” you laughed, wiggling your bum in response.

“Easy there, love,” he whispered. “I’m not that kind of girl. You’ll have to buy me dinner first.”

Turning to face him, you kissed the tip of his freckled nose. “How about breakfast instead?”

Gwilym whimpered when you moved to get up and let his arm fall into the empty space you had previously occupied, grumbling as he drifted back off to sleep.

You padded into the kitchen of Gwil’s small cottage and started the coffee-maker. While the machine roared to life, you expertly navigated through his cabinets and fridge as you gathered the necessary ingredients to make banana pancakes.

The smell of coffee, soon followed by the smell of pancakes, was enough to re-awaken Gwilym, prompting him to roll out of bed and into the kitchen to investigate. He paused for a moment, taking in the sight of you. Your hair was messily piled atop her head, with little hairs poking out here and there. You was wearing the button-up he’d had on the day before and he immediately decided that it looked far better on you- sleeves rolled up and the hem barely covering your behind- than it ever had on him. His heart swelled. Never in a million years had he ever thought that you would ever see him as something other than your professor, yet here you were wearing his clothes and cooking him breakfast.

You piled the finished pancakes on a plate and switched the stove off. You turned around to put the dishes you’d dirtied in the sink and smiled when you saw Gwilym standing there watching you. “See something you like?” You quipped, winking at him as you set the griddle and the mixing bowl in the sink [AN: he has one of those fancy kitchen island sinks].

“Oh, absolutely.” The sleepiness he had felt melted away and he all but ran around the island to pepper kisses along your neck and cheeks. “You didn’t have to do all this for me,” he said, pulling away from you and gesturing towards the foot-tall stack of pancakes cooling off on the counter.

“It’s just pancakes and coffee, Gwil. No big deal.” But you smiled anyway. You poured herself a big cup of coffee and settled into the living room couch.

He looked at you, slightly confused. “Are you not going to have any, love?”

Shaking your head, you raised your mug. “Got all I need.”

“Interesting. Never took you for an old man, but I suppose it all makes sense now.” He laughed at your mock-insulted expression, and you rolled her eyes at him before picking up the book you’d been reading the night before.

As he tore into the stack of pancakes before him, Gwil watched you. Your hair cascaded in front of your cheeks as you took in page after page of information, your eyes flicking back and forth across the pages. He wanted to cross the room and tuck those loose strands behind your ear, but then he’d be caught staring. As usual when you were deep in thought, you were gently tugging at your earlobe, tongue darting out of your lips every so often to keep them from getting chapped. He was entranced.

Without so much as a single glance away from your book, you felt his eyes on you and couldn’t help but smile. Continuing to focus on your book, you smirked as you said, “You know, your pancakes are going to get cold, love.” Damn. Caught anyway.

A bit of pink appeared on his cheeks and he dug back into his breakfast. After he had finished and put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, he joined you on the couch. Never setting down your book, you lifted it a little for Gwilym to put his head in your lap. He pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and used it to cover both of you as he laid his head back down. You used your free hand to reach down and run your fingers through his hair as you continued your reading. Gwil hummed in contentment and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“I wish we could do this every morning.” Gwilym’s words made your heart sink a little.

“Me too,” you whispered. You slipped a piece of paper between the pages of your book and set it down on the table next to the couch. You pressed a kiss to his temple and continued to entwine your fingers in his hair as you gazed down into his eyes. Attempting to shift the mood, you glanced at the clock. “Shit, we have class today.”

“I’ll cancel,” he mumbled, turning to bury his face in your stomach.

“Gwilym, you know you can’t do that.” He groaned, but quickly moved his hands to tickle your ribs. A loud cackle escaped your lips, egging him on and he climbed on top of you without ceasing his relentless attack. You cried out, “Gwil, stop! We have to get dressed, I’m going to be late!”

You jumped up and left Gwilym breathless and alone on the couch. You smirked down at him, giggling at his pink face, flushed with exertion. “I am going to take shower. Unlike you, there are consequences to my being late.” You blew him a kiss before dashing out of the living room.

After a quick shower, you put your clothes from the night before back on. After a kiss goodbye, you left Gwilym alone to proceed with his morning routine and made your way back to the dorms. Your silent prayers were answered when you opened the door to find the Georgie was already in class. Digging through your drawers, it suddenly hit you that you hadn’t done laundry in quite some time. You kept digging until you finally pulled out an old Queen t-shirt, sniffing it to make sure it was clean (it was) before pulling it over your head. You tugged on your favorite pair of jeans and slid into your usual tan suede clogs. After throwing your hair into a pile on top of your head, you slipped your arms through your backpack and began making your way across campus to Dr. Hart’s lecture.

---

Later that day, you were sitting at your usual spot in the basement- at your desk, surrounded by books. You usually used your office as a refuge from the hustle and bustle that characterized the rest of campus, and it was often the only place you could find some peace and quiet. Today however, the office was filled with the exact opposite. The three other TAs (Laurel Finch, Cooper Edwards, and Rob Watson) you shared your office with were all annoyingly present. You let out a distressed sigh. The closer you got to the end of the semester, the more you stressed over finishing your thesis.

“Y/N, you have to relax a bit. You’re way further ahead on your paper than I am, and God knows Barnett, Hart, and Lee all adore you. They’re sure to pass you.” Laurel tried to reassure you.

Your face flushed at the mention of Gwilym.

“Thanks, Laur. I just want to make sure it’s absolutely perfect.”

Cooper perched himself on top of your desk, knocking over some of your books. “You’ve already been accepted into the Ph.D. program at Edinburgh. What’s the point in trying so hard? Even if your paper’s shit, you’re pretty enough that old Dr. Barnett will pass you just to see if he can get in your-“

“Coop, do you ever stop talking out of your ass?” Rob snapped, and you shot him a grateful smile. “Why don’t you go, or I can explain to Dr. Hart how you were at Wildwood last week instead of in his class.” Wildwood was a local bar that proved to be a favorite of the university students. You and Laurel stifled laughs as Cooper’s eyes went wide, grabbing his backpack before rushing out of the office.

Laurel winked at you. She’d been convinced that Rob had a crush on you since the three of you guys went to a conference together in Boston last semester. Rob was tall, with a medium-build. He had long blond hair that brushed the tops of his shoulders and complimented his icy blue eyes. He was handsome, you couldn’t deny that. But you just chalked his friendliness to him being a decent human being.

Standing up, you walked the short distance over to Rob and wrapped him up in a friendly hug. “Thanks, Rob.”

Suddenly the three of you heard a knock and turned to see Gwilym standing in the doorway. He had been unlocking the door to his own office, hoping to put some books away before heading home for the day, when he’d seen Mr. Edwards storm out and was curious to see what had provoked his quick exit. He was surprised to find you (his Y/N) in an embrace with who he recognized as another TA, but one whose name he could never remember. He wasn’t typically the jealous type but seeing you with another man (a boy really) set him on edge.

Gwilym shifted uncomfortably as you carefully disentangled from Rob. “Everything alright in here?” He asked, and you were the only one who picked up on the annoyance in his tone. Your brow furrowed, wondering what could be upsetting him, but you quickly remembered that you weren’t alone. You subtly took another step away from Rob.

“Yes Dr. Lee. There was an, uh, misunderstanding between Cooper and I but Rob here was able to diffuse the situation,” You replied, meeting Gwilym’s stare with a warm smile.

He ignored it. “Right, well, just keep it down.” Gwilym turned on his heel and left, retreating to his office.

“Fuck, that was weird,” Laurel exclaimed, Rob nodding in agreement.

Still confused as to why Gwilym had acted so strangely, you replied, “Yeah, it was.”

---

After waiting for the moment to pass and for Rob and Laurel to settle back into their desks, you quietly gathered your things and said a quick goodbye as you slipped out before they could ask any questions. Knowing that Gwilym would have already left for the day, you walked across campus to your car and made your way over to his house.

Gwilym choked on his tea when you came bursting through front door, forgetting that he had left it unlocked.

You found him sitting in his armchair, dabbing the steaming hot liquid that had spilt on his shirt. He let out an exasperated sigh and ran his hands through his hair. “Y/N, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Shit. I’m sorry, doll.” You grabbed another napkin off of the kitchen island and walked over to him to help him with his shirt. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

His face takes on a somber expression as he lightly takes hold your wrist and pulls the napkin from your hand and lets it fall to the floor before pressing a kiss to your knuckles. A soft smile tugs at the corners of your lips and he gently pulls you down into his lap. You curl up and nestle your head into Gwilym’s neck, his arms circling around to cradle you.

“What happened back there, Gwil?” You nudged his chin with your nose. “Have I done something wrong?”

All of the jealousy and anger he had previously felt suddenly dissipated, and he pulled you in even tighter. Gwilym brushed the hair out of your face and kissed your temple. “Of course not, love.” He sighed heavily. “I don’t know what came over me, I just got so jealous seeing you with that boy. Seeing him touching you. It just hurts to know that he can touch you in public and I can’t.” He wasn’t jealous of Rob so much as he was jealous of the fact that Rob’s touches weren’t the subject of the same scrutiny Gwilym’s would be if anyone were to find out.

You sobered at his comment, face twisting into a pained expression. You had both known from the start that this relationship would not be simple, but Gwilym had not fully prepared himself for the restraint that he would have to exercise. He wished so much that he could just wrap you up in his arms in the middle of the office, place a kiss on the top of your head in front of everyone without cries of indecency. Christ, even just to walk across campus with your hand in his would be more than enough.

You notice a small tear carving a path down his cheek and reach up to catch it with your thumb, brushing it away, but you don’t lower your hand. Gwilym leans into your touch and twists his head to place a kiss on your palm, his lips soft and warm against your cool skin. You wished as much as he did that you didn’t have to hide away your relationship. You felt as tears pricked your eyes, spilling over just as easily as Gwilym’s had. He took your face in his hands and kissed each tear that marked your cheeks.

He pressed his forehead against yours, his breath hot against your face as he said, “I hate having to hide you- us- away like it’s something to be ashamed of. I love you so much, Y/N.”

“I know, baby. It’s not much longer, though. Graduation is only a month and a half away.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, nodding as he took in your words. “It just seems so far away right now.”

You removed yourself from his embrace, moving to stand in front of him. Reaching your hand out to him, he took hold and let you pull him up out of the chair. Looking up at the man before you, you pressed a kiss to his lips. “Come on, love, let’s make dinner.”

He smiled, warmth flooding his body at your comforting presence. “What do you want my love?”

You giggled and pinched his side as he walked in front of you. “Anything but lasagna.”

Taglist: @disasterdeacy @travelbugg64 @simply-sams-things

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ir0n-angel · 4 years

Text

Symbols

From Love is... (FLUFF-uary 2020). Part of the Beer and Benefits series.

(prompts #14 - first 'I love you' and #6 - gifts)

"I hate waking up without you. I don't want to do it anymore. Nora... I love you. I love you, and I want to always be next to you."

He pulled back to see her jewel-blue eyes had gone incredibly wide.

"A-are you asking me to...?" she stammered, sounding hopeful in spite of herself.

He moved his hand down to take hers, lacing their fingers together. "Yes, I am. If you'll have me...?"

"Oh my darling..." she breathed, eyes filling with happy tears. "Absolutely yes!"

A ring wasn't necessary. Society and all its laws had collapsed in on itself over two centuries ago. There was no need for anything formal to prove or make marriage official in the wastelands. The partners' promise to each other was enough. And honestly, he felt that that was even better than any pre-war traditions.

Still...

Deegan picked up the least dented looking ring from the small box of jewelry Daisy had set before him on the counter. Like the rest, it was just a plain band with no stone setting. Silver, he guessed, even though it was almost pure black with tarnish. He slipped it over his pinkie and back off again with ease; it would be a little big on her, but better too large than too small. And it would take some work to polish it, if he could find any polish, that is.

He turned it over in his palm, considering.

"Toothpaste," Daisy said, unprompted.

He blinked up at her. "Beg pardon?"

She pointed at the ring. "A dab of toothpaste and rub it with a soft cloth," she elaborated. "A little effort and a lot of patience, and it'll shine bright as before the bombs fell." She leaned over to prop on her elbows. "You're so delightfully old-fashioned. You know you don't need that, right? You asked her and she said yes. You two are hitched, as far as the Commonwealth's concerned." She grinned. "Lucky girl."

Ghouls don't blush, but Deegan could have sworn what was left of his ears were burning. "And how would you know about that?"

She let out a cackle. "Gossip travels fast, and none are faster than Holly."

He tried not to roll his eyes. Of course it would be the overly-friendly, Emogene-esque ghoul woman from The Slog. At least she didn't take his rejections personally, he supposed.

"Nora's a special case," he said, turning his attention to the ring again. "She's pre-war, just like we are. I want to give her something... Something familiar. Tangible."

He was decided.

He closed his hand around it, looking up at Daisy's understanding smile.

She put the jewelry box back under her counter and turned to her till. "Delightfully old-fashioned," she repeated. "I fully expect an invitation to the wedding, mister."

"When Garvey said Jamaica Plain had called for assistance, I didn't think it'd be to clear out an entire super mutant stronghold," Valentine grumbled as Nora popped the hatch of her power armor and all but tumbled out. He stepped closer, reaching out to steady her. "How are you holding up, doll?"

She was shaking pretty badly, but she waved him off. Then she bent with her hands on her knees, gasping as the smell of decay and the adrenaline letdown hit her.

Three Suiciders? Really?! Not to mention the hounds, which came close to terrifying her even more.

Preston was definitely going to get one hell of a talking to later.

When she finally caught her breath and pulled herself together again, she drew up her Pip-boy and clicked the knob a few times. "Looks like we got them all, at least. But why so many?"

"I'd wager it's because there's not many buildings this large outside of Boston proper." He looked upward. "At least not with ceilings this tall, even here on the basement level. You think about it, Fallon's is the perfect space for those oversized brutes."

Stepping around a super mutant corpse, she finally got a good look at her surroundings. "I didn't even notice where we were." Outrunning Suiciders tended to make paying attention to certain details difficult. "Isn't this the jewelry department Eddie Winter and his crew pulled that diamond heist?"

"Yeah. At the time, I questioned his wisdom for pulling it off in a joint with only one exit." He motioned to the inoperable escalator. "I guess he felt pretty confident with the Feds in his back pocket, if it didn't work. At least he'd walk free. What's the loss of a few loyal minions to a guy like him."

His tone turned bitter, and Nora put a hand on his arm. He turned his gaze to her. "You got him in the end," she reminded.

"Thanks to you, partner." He smiled, covering her hand with his ruined one.

She pretended not to notice it faltering at the click of metal on metal as he knocked against the silver band on her ring finger. Just like she'd pretended not to see the way his mouth had turned down and he'd ducked his head when he first noticed and asked about it months ago.

Things could have been very different between them at one time, had he not let the fact he was a synth stand in the way. She'd tried and failed, so she moved on; her life was too short for her to wait.

And Deegan made her so very happy.

She let her hand slide out from under his as she turned towards the half smashed display cases. Most likely the work of raiders, since super mutants had no use for things like jewelry and pocket watches. Her own detective instincts guessed that the super mutants had probably attacked mid-plunder, as there was so much left in them.

Free housing and free lunch? What more could a super mutant want?

Okay, she grossed herself out with that one.

Forcing herself to ignore scattered, half-gnawed bones, she picked through the glass of one case. Picking up a watch with a smashed face, she called to Valentine now looting ammunition out of a rifle, "Help me find more of these? I need the gold for upgrading capacitors."

"So we're going to rob the store, too?" he chuckled. "Winter would love the irony."

"Silver would also be good. You can leave the diamonds."

He gave a hearty laugh, and they split up to search opposite sides of the large showroom.

Poor lighting and being loathe to touch any biological matter, as well as stopping to pay respects to the unfortunate woman locked in the hidden vault, made the search slow. Still, Valentine had already circled the room once and was back to collecting bullets when Nora had picked the lock on the last safe.

"Find anything useful?" he called, as she opened it to discover a tray of rings, neatly wedged in a foam display.

"It's a shame there's not a way to build some kind of cutting tool with all these gems," she replied, picking the simpler bands and solitaires out and putting them in a belt pouch. The ones with the baguettes would be more effort than they were worth to get to the metal and virtually useless as laser components.

"You could just enjoy them for the sake of beauty, you know."

She shook her head. "That'd be asking for trouble. Plus it really isn't worth the effort to haul back stuff I can't use."

Coming to the last row, she paused as she noticed one of the plain silver bands was noticeably larger than the rest. Whoever custom ordered it must have had huge hands.

She wondered...

She picked it up and slid it over her thumb.

It was still loose.

Valentine cast around, making sure he hadn't overlooked anything. "I think that pretty much cleans this place out."

She shot a quick glance at him -- he would know, and she didn't want to make things even more uncomfortable for him -- and unzipped her suit just low enough to tuck the ring into her bra, hastily zipping it back up.

Adding the last couple of rings to her pouch, she slid the tray into the safe and closed it back. "All right, then. I guess we should head to Jamaica Plain to give them the all clear before we head back to the Castle," she said, moving to climb back into her power armor.

A thrill of excitement shot through her as the closing hatch pinned her snugly to the forward chestplate, lightly pressing the ring into her breast.

She couldn't wait to get back home to her husband.

#FLUFF-uary 2020 #Fallout 4 #Deegan/F!SoSu #Beer and Benefits #my writing

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drunklander · 5 years

Text

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 411

This week, on Outlander: Claire carries all of the water for Jamie! Lord John can’t decide if he’s dumb and creepy or a cool dude! Roger is still my designated tea refill break! Bree is back to being the worst! Murgsali remains the best!

It’s week two of my drunk recaps being done while not drunk *shakes fist at the concept of Dry January* and my willpower is being aggressively tested.

I hate this fake-out with Roger as much as I hate the fake-out in ep. 1x03 with Claire and Mrs. Fitz.

Are we going to get Roger back at the stones and his decision to stay and him being recaptured and stuff next week? Or are we just going to pick back up at the village and we just need to fill all that in ourselves? Tbh, I almost would have preferred Roger just not being in this episode...

Oh the title card... Bree is suddenly now a great artist! (Seriously, how the fuck did she never draw Roger at any point before Rogergate happened?! Like, cool if you don’t want to share who raped you, literally this whole thing could have been avoided without sharing that tidbit if Jamie KNEW WHAT ROGER LOOKED LIKE. Oh, thanks for the heads up, Lizzie, but it turns out that the guy you saw is Bree’s boyfiend. I punched him for leaving her, but it turns out he’s just a dick, not a rapist.) (Second week in a row that I’ve made that typo. It’s like even my subconscious doesn’t like Roger.)

And Bree loves drawing the enslaved people on her great-aunt’s plantation! Which she apparently is totally cool with!

Also, Bree says Aunt wrong. It’s a minor thing but one that is driving me up a fucking wall every time she says it. (People in Massachusetts say it like Ahnt, not Ant.)

Geez, Lizzie, Bree doesn’t need to easily forgive Jamie. Jamie doesn’t deserve to be easily forgiven. Honestly, Lizzie is the least to blame for this whole fiasco. She saw a dude being rough with Bree and then the next time she saw Bree was post-rape. Jamie was a complete prick to Bree, beat the shit out of a random guy without letting him get a word in edgewise and had his nephew get rid of him. And then didn’t fucking tell Claire, who probably would have put two and two together, about it. Fuck that guy.

I simultaneously can’t believe and 1000% can believe they read this shit heap of a story line and were like “Yep, this is great stuff! Let’s definitely spend half a season on it!”

ROLLO! THE GOODEST BOY!

Ugh. Young Ian being like “Oh hey, Auntie Claire, how about you go do the emotional labor of making Jamie feel better about being a fucking dumbass!” Hard pass, Ian. Hard fucking pass.

So here for Claire’s “what you *both* thought.” Like yep, Ian, you’re at fault too. I know you love your uncle, but you gave that whole big speech at River Run about being your own man and yada yada, so maybe fucking own your part in this. You didn’t fucking have to sell a guy into fucking slavery. BUT YOU’RE STILL NOT AS MUCH TO BLAME AS JAMIE. FUUUUCK THAT GUY.

Also, Jamie, you dumb fuck. You should have been fucking groveling by now. You get no points for keeping your distance. Nut up and mea culpa the shit out of this situation.

Honestly, if they wanted to make the show just about Fersali and Murtz, at this point I’d be totally on board.

Wait, so Fergus has been unemployed this whole time? How the fuck have they been living for the past year then? What happened to his job at the printer? I have so many questions...

So Bree, who grew up in civil rights era Boston and had a Black roommate, is totally just chill about living on a plantation and being waited on by enslaved people? Like, we’re not going to mention this at all? Cool. Cool cool cool.

Also like fucking mother like daughter. She’s like “Oh hey, Phaedre, I’m going to draw you. Sit there. No, I’m not going to ask if you want to be drawn. Or take into account what Jocasta might do to you because of my decision to make you not be doing what you’re expected to be doing. Like my Mom did with asking you to call her by her first name, I’m just gonna disregard what the consequences might be for you because treating you like this will make me feel better about myself.”

Maria Doyle Kennedy continues to be awesome.

"Sorry! Did I wake ye?” I love Marsali so fucking much.

I really like them giving what was a convo with Jenny and Jamie about Ian in the books to Marsali and Murtagh about Fergus. But man, women do so much of the emotional labor in this fucking episode. Marsali is running a house, caring for a baby and risking having a wanted man sleeping in her kitchen but she also has to like fluff the pillows for Fergus’ feelings.

Yes, I know that spouses should support each other and be there when the other one needs something. But since we see so little of Fersali now, we’re not seeing this as a two way relationship. Just Marsali doing it for Fergus.

That being said, I do think it’s very sweet of Marsali.

“If I wanted him shot, I’d do it myself. And it wouldna be Fergus I’d take aim at first. He doesna put his boots on my blankets.” I just fucking love her so much, y’all.

Does Murtagh know who Marsali is yet though? Does he know about Jamie marrying Laoghaire? Were we robbed of the glorious Murtz reaction we could have had? Le sigh. If I had a drink, I’d pour one out...

Oh hey, Gerald. Is your name going to stay Gerald? Or are you randomly going to start being Neil in a couple seasons?

“Have you been enjoying your time at River Run?” “Yes, I love River Run. I love living with a bunch of racists, benefiting from the enslavement of Black people. I never once bring up how uncomfortable I am, or even look like I’m uncomfortable about the situation. I am not at all morally conflicted about my current situation. Everything is totally cool.”

I raged a lot during ep. 4x02, and honestly that rage all still stands.

Oh hey! John Grey, Lord of Convenient Appearances is back!

Fergus talking to Germain is my everything. “It seems there are some here who do not appreciate your contribution to the cause.” *swoon* I can’t wait for him to teach his lil dude the fine art of pickpocketing...

I LOVE THE FERGUS AND MURTAGH RELATIONSHIP A LOT AND I’M VERY GLAD THEY’RE GETTING SCREEN TIME TOGETHER.

BASICALLY I LOVE MURTAGH’S RELATIONSHIP WITH EVERYONE.

I JUST LOVE MURGSALI OK.

Bree’s like that obnoxious college freshman who comes home on break and is like all insufferable because they took like one intro to psych class and now want to like diagnose everyone they know with random shit.

“Must I close my eyes when you are before me?” “Yes.” Well played, Bree, but I still do not like you at all in this episode.

Man, 18th century tinder fucking sucks.

I know this show isn’t subtle at all, but jfc, they’re like punching us in the face with the judge being gay.

Bree, Claire and Betty fucking Draper should start a club for women who drink like fish while preggo.

Ok so I’m on board with the convo with LJG and Bree about his vision or whatever, but then it crosses over into creepy later on in the episode.

Can Lizzie please fuck off already? She’s annoying af.

Also, she blurts out that Bree’s pregnant but managed to keep it a secret that Jamie kicked the shit out of a guy for weeks? I’m calling shenanigans on that.

I get that the convo with John and Bree about Jocasta trying to marry off Bree to some rando is supposed to like be clearing up the handfasting is marriage vs. not marriage thing that the show can’t make up its mind about, but it still bugs me, tbh. A lot.

I still am lowkey annoyed that they expect us to be so invested in Roger and Bree when they did like nothing to build up their relationship before it went to shit (both times). Like, you’re lazy when it comes to your characters, show. You’re doing a bad job. If no one is invested in the characters then all the plot in the world won’t make the show good.

The amount this show relies on book readers backfilling shit is absurd.

Jocasta, as a woman and figure in society, is a far more understandable giver of this speech about Bree needing to be married than Jamie, a dude who can have her live with him in his and Claire’s house in fucking bumblenowhere backwoods. But still, WHY DON’T THESE FUCKERS JUST TREAT HER LIKE SHE’S MARRIED. SHE TECHNICALLY IS. SHE’S HANDFAST. WHO GIVES A FUCK IF THERE WEREN’T WITNESSES. NO ONE IN CROSS CREEK KNOWS THAT. PEOPLE WILL JUST ACCEPT WHAT YOU TELL THEM. I HATE THAT ALL THESE FUCKERS WON’T PUT THAT TOGETHER.

Ok, cool that Lord John is getting some action, I’m am 10000% here for him to be happy with a man who actually wants him back instead of creepily pining over Jamie forever. But FFS YOU ARE NOT STUPID. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BANGING THIS DUDE IN THE GODDAMN HALLWAY?! YOU ARE A VERY CAREFUL PERSON. YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF PEOPLE KNOW YOU’RE GAY. YOU FUCKING GOT SHIPPED OFF TO ARDSMUIR BECAUSE OF RUMORS ABOUT YOU AND HECTOR. YOU ARE SMARTER THAN THIS YOU STUPID FUCKING FUCK.

All that aside, I totally ship John and the judge and they should totally be boyfriends and bang a lot, but FUCKING NOT IN THE GODDAMN HALLWAY OF SOMEONE ELSE’S HOUSE WHEN THEY KNOW THEY LIVE IN A HOMOPHOBIC AF SOCIETY.

Ok, fuck Brianna for this blackmail bullshit. Fuck her so fucking much. She is the literal worst right now. Like are you fucking kidding me, Bree?! You’re garbage. I know this shit is in the book, but fucking christ. It’s bad. Fucking have Bree talk to John like “Look, my aunt is trying to marry me off. That fucking hobbit is going to propose as soon as I go back inside. I don’t want to marry him, you know I’m waiting to see if my parents can find my quasi-husband. Can you please do me a solid and say we’re engaged so people leave me the fuck alone until my parents get back?” We *know* John would say yes to that, because he eventually fucking goes along with it for THAT EXACT FUCKING REASON. SO WHY ARE THEY HAVING FROM-THE-POST-STONEWALL-FUTURE BREE THREATEN A GUY WITH THIS SHIT. SHE KNOWS HOW QUEER FOLKS ARE TREATED IN HER OWN FUCKING TIME, AND THIS IS THE PAST AND THE PAST IS THE FUCKING WORST. FUUUUUUCK HER.

“That sounds like a threat.” BREE, YOU DON’T GET TO BE BUTTHURT ABOUT BEING THREATENED WHEN YOU LITERALLY JUST TOLD A GUY YOU WERE GOING TO RUIN HIS LIFE, YOU ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE.

“I wouldn’t have said a word to anyone. I’d just threaten you with your worst fear. Because I’m a raging asshat.”

It’s creepy af that they’re like talking around John being in love with Jamie. I honestly hate that part of John so fucking much. Like he could be such a great character if they could fucking lay off the him pining over and being weirdly possessive of Jamie shit.

Ok, so with Bree now just telling everyone that it was Bonnet who raped her it’s really coming off that Jamie’s manpain was the *only* reason she didn’t tell anyone but Claire before. Which is so fucked up! She was raped! Fuck Jamie’s manpain! If she wants to tell people, she should fucking tell people! Sorry not sorry, but if you were brutally raped and possibly impregnated by some fucker and you want to let people know who it was because it turns out he’s a fucking sociopath, that fucking trumps “oh, my bio dad might feel icky about it.”

“The union of our families is a blessing to us all. Except for the second someone better comes along. Because omg he’s a *lord*! Bye, Neil. Go have yourself some second breakfast.”

Oh fuck you, Jamie. You don’t get to be butthurt at Claire. Claire didn’t beat the everloving fuck out of some rando at the word of a maid, send him into slavery and then keep it a fucking secret. Also like, why the fuck did he even keep it a secret from Claire?! Why not do what Bree did and tell Claire but have her not tell Bree? And he’s still keeping him asking Murtagh to track Bonnet down from Claire. Seriously, fuck Jamie.

Oh Rollo, this isn’t Terminus. We don’t eat people in this show.

I literalol’ed at them pulling an Everest and using a dead body as a wayfinding tool. Probs not the reaction they were going for.

“He is... very much like his father.” DON’T MAKE IT WEIRD, JOHN.

"Good doesn’t come into it. I love him more than life itself.” I love the convo about loving a kid even if you’re not the bio dad, but this “It’s only new because there is hope.” bullshit while they’re sitting on the FUCKING PORCH OF A PLANTATION, LOOKING OUT AT ENSLAVED PEOPLE WHILE THE REST OF THE FAM IS OFF LOOKING FOR THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE LIVED ON THE LAND FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, IS SO FUCKING TONE DEAF IT HURTS.

“I was upset, but not with you.” Uh, Claire? YOU SHOULD BE UPSET WITH JAMIE. WHAT THE FUCK. YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY BE UPSET WITH JAMIE.

I get Claire’s reasons for not telling Jamie. I think Bree should have told Claire to tell Jamie since it seems like her only hesitation for doing so was Jamie’s #feelings. And I 100000000% think that it makes *zero* sense that she never told Jamie what Roger looks like. But Claire is doing way fucking more than her share of apologizing here. JAMIE IS THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE DOING THE BIG DRAMATIC APOLOGY. THIS IS LIKE 99.7% HIS FUCKING FAULT.

I HATE ROGERGATE SO FUCKING MUCH.

“Frank made plenty of mistakes.” UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE FUCKING CENTURIES, BEAUCHAMP.

Aaaand then they couch it as an “all parents do” thing. BECAUSE OH NO, CAN’T ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE WAS AN ABUSIVE JACKASS. NOPE. CAN’T DO THAT.

This show is fucking *killing* me with its refusal to make the male characters accountable for their actions.

And then we get the same sex scene we got in the premiere. Because even though Jamie and Claire get freaky in oh-so-many different ways in the later books, the show has decided that from now on they need to be vanilla and boring. I mean, in the book this bit is described as fierce with blind desperation. I know I always say I want them to deviate from the book, but ffs, I didn’t mean make all the sex the same when the situations and emotional states of the characters when they’re together are very different...

And no, Balfe, I’m not a “horny granny.” (Seriously, fuck her for that comment, tbh. I know what she was probably trying to say, but word choice, Caitriona. It’s fucking important.) I’m not watching this show for the smut. But the core relationship, what’s supposed to be the heart of the show, is now monotonous af.

Jamie and Claire as characters have always been a couple who express themselves passionately and physically. But now suddenly they’re just like soft af all the time? Where’s the fire? Where’s the spark? You don’t need to have nudity to show passion, show. I’m not asking for a parade of boobs and butts. (If there was contractual stuff involved with that for actors or whatever, more power to them.) But ffs, the show is managing to make me bored with the main fucking ship.

And then Roger gets the shit kicked out of him again and I’m here for it.

Because I still don’t like that guy.

(But seriously, framing the various Native American tribes as the “bad guys” is getting old af.)

#*#outlander starz #outlander 4x11 #drunj!der yells about outlander #rogergate

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feenyreadscomics · 5 years

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Rosaries, pt 6

Last time on Rosaries, Matt left NYC on a train. He has just run into Bucky. Also a disclaimer, I guess for this whole series in general, but particularly with the introduction of Bucky: I am not disabled. And in particular with Bucky, I wasn't able to find much regarding how a total arm amputee may have to navigate life. So, if i get something wrong, i apologize in advance. Also I feel like I've been writing Matt, and am currently writing Bucky, as being a bit too open to trust. Dunno how to correct it, but here we are

Something was... off. There was the vibrating from the guy's arm next to Matt sure, but there were a few too many conductors for this train. And they were carrying... probably weapons.

One of the conductors came up to them, and started harassing Matt's seat buddy? Seat acquaintance? Seat acquaintance, and Matt knew he was carrying a gun. So, he might have tried to deescalate the situation (Foggy would be proud of him) and the gun might have been pulled out in the open. Which may have required a bit of combat, throwing his seatmate onto the floor, and getting the gun away from the conductor.

But then, holy shit, his seatmate had a bulletproof arm. Which was useful, since the cramped quarters meant he couldn't tell exactly how many people were coming after them. They were able to grab their packs, and then the stranger smashed his metal arm through the window. He climbed out onto the top of the train, Matt following close behind. A gunshot grazed metal arm's leg. More goons started to come out the sides of train.

"We need to jump!" Matt yelled.

"I got that!" Seat mate responded.

Matt heard a pin being pulled out, then something metal land at their feet. Shit. A grenade. Matt kicked it away, then dove off the side, tackling his new buddy as they went. And down they went, Metal arm's metal arm knocking the wind out of Matt, and Matt accidentally kneeing him in the ribs, and they were off. Running. They weaved through some trees before making it to a residential area. Then, a downtown area. Perfect.

Matt slipped on a hat and reassembled his cane. The other guy pulled up a hood. Considering he was loosing blood pretty quick, he was doing a good job holding up. Matt grabbed Metal Arms's (fleshy) elbow.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Trying to pretend to be normal. You're going to be guiding me, mostly because it's easier for me if you do. Once they are off your tail, you're gonna get stitched up."

"Got it." Bucky began to turn his head.

"Don't look behind us. That's suspicious. I've got good hearing. I'll be able to tell when they're giving up." They weaved their way through the crowd: tired workers shuffling back home, teens excited over the upcoming weekend, college students slipping away from their studies to bars. It was a lot of noise, and Matt needed to concentrate if they were going to get out of this.

With Metal Arm guiding Matt, he was able to focus on the people talking on their comms. Eventually, they gave up. Matt waited about thirty seconds after that, then said "Hey, they're gone."

"Great. Can we sit down?" Metal Arm guy moved to a bench and rolled up his pantleg. "Do you have any gauze and tape?" Matt dug out a roll of medical tape and gauze. Metal Arm took them and wrapped his leg, then returned the rest, and pulled down his pant leg. "Thanks."

"Do you have anywhere to go?"

"I'll figure it out."

"I'm moreso asking because you just blew my travel plans out of the water."

"Well, shit."

"So, a quid pro quo?"

"Sure. Ya got any camping gear?"

"Some."

"We are getting out of here then."

"Down for taking a cab?"

"Sure."

Matt pulled out his phone, and called a cab. Fairly soon, Boston was behind them, the lights of the city fading to black.

Later on, after camp got set up and fish were caught and cooked (and Matt managed to eat one) and fires were lit and granola bars were shared and introductions were made ("I'm Jim," the metal armed man said, even though his heart rate registered a lie, but tit for tat, Matt supposed, as he introduced himself as Mike) the duo settled into a comfortable silence.

"I'll take first watch," Matt offered.

"I would rather do that."

"No, you first."

Jim glared at him. "No."

"Fine." Matt walked over and got into his hammock. Sleep was probably a good idea.

"What's the deal with the hammock anyways?" Jim asked.

Well, sleeping on the ground is a special sort of sensory hell, but camping itself is great. So much quieter than the city. "I sleep better this way."

Jim nodded at him, then silently watched the fire.

Buck waited for Mike to fall asleep. Being awake was better than being asleep. Mike took a while. His arm was bugging him, but it would be okay, in the end.

It was a long night. Bucky hoped Mike would be able to get back to whatever his travel plans were.

Mike roused himself from sleep at around four am. He had Bucky go to bed. Bucky slipped under his tarp, then took off his arm. That felt so much better.

Bucky fell asleep.

He was there, again. The mission. Behind a blue minivan.

Roll a grenade. Easy takedown.

But then, boom, the Black Widow was on him, and he was fighting to breathe. And boom, she was off.

Shoot. Target not eliminated, hiding behind a car. Shoot again.

Then he charged in.

Shoot, kick, fight. Eliminate target.

And he's choking his best friend and powerless to stop.

Punch, kick. His mask is off. Steve's face emblazoned in his mind. Horror, fear.

"Bucky?"

Jim was moving, thrashing. Matt was on guard, stick in hand.

They slowly died down. Matt breathed a sigh of relief.

Jim woke up.

"Morning," Matt said as he offered a granola bar to Jim. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah," Jim said. Heartrate increase. Lie. Jim took the granola bar, tore the packaging off with his teeth, and ate it.

"So what's the plan for today?"

"You," Jim pointed aggressively at Matt, "go on your own way. Do what you need to do. And I," Jim started pointing at himself, " go my own way."

"While I dont doubt you can take care of yourself," Matt took a bite of his own granola bar, "you have no money, limited resources, most of which are weapons, and a giant fucking target on your back." Matt swallowed his granola bar. "I have resources and a death wish. So how about we work together?" Matt did not like the sound of this guy striking out alone. He'd probably kill a bunch of people.

"I don't play well with others."

"Neither do I! Last time I worked with someone, people died. So how about we work together?" Jim, I really need to know you aren't a terrorist. Please.

"I nearly killed my best friend. Please, leave me alone."

"You aren't alone. I did too."

"Wait, what?"

"Yep. Got possessed. My best friend climbed a temple to save me. Nearly killed him."

"Jeez. Fine. You can stay."

They clean camp, and move on, getting on a bus. Matt texts Foggy he's alright, and Foggy wishes him well.

Foggy texts about how he's a bit worried for Matt, and wants to know if he was involved in the train incident. Matt wants to lie, to say that he wasn't, but he takes a deep breath. They were trying to beat up an amputee, he texts back. Foggy wants to know if anyone died, and all Matt can say is not before he left. Matt asks about cases at the firm, and they had a case with Mrs. Gonzales and her son, accused of robbing a bodega at gunpoint. It seemed open and shut. Matt wished him luck on the case, and him and Jim continued their adventures.

I lived, b: hey so I just texted Matt and apparently he made a friend

Hottie McBurnerPhone: oh thank god

Night Nurse: he actually made a friend?? Like I'm a bit worried if this friend is a good influence

The hair is real: that's surprising. No one forced him?

I lived, b: I know. But great.

Old man: that's good for him. Who is this friend?

I lived, b: dunno. An amputee, apparently.

Old man: ok. Praying for him.

And we are done! For clarification

I lived, b: Foggy Nelson (refrence to the plot where he gets cancer

Hottie McBurner phone: Claire Temple

Old man: Steve Roger's. By finding out Matt is Daredevil, he earned one consolation prize of being in the "I'm friends with a human disaster and this is how I cope" chat.

Night nurse: Linda Carter

The hair is real: Karen Page (refrence to 60's Page hair)

Also, not waking someone up in case of night terrors is what you should do.

Matt almost killed Foggy in the comics. It happened, we love Matt anyway. Also lowkey love Matt being "You think you're a human disaster? Try me."

#rosaries #matt murdock #bucky barnes #foggy nelson #steve rogers

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muzzmurray · 6 years

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year in fic review (2017)

You can find all of the fic mentioned below on my ao3 account, savedby. If you’re looking for my football fic edition, you can find it here.

Year at a glance: Total number of completed stories: 32 Total word count: 77707

Overall Thoughts:

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? I wrote way more than I realized for this fandom, um, wow. There were a couple of months where I was writing like four or five fics and I have no idea how that happened.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Oh, the Vegas Golden Knights! Because when they signed two, I was joking around on twitter about how I could ship them now, and my friend was like ‘well, why don’t you’ and then that evolved into Sabaton and by extension into the Bold in Gold series, which was one of the most rewarding parts of my year for sure.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? these tornadoes are for you, which was Nick/Bob and written for the Cannon Fodder exchange. The combination of magic realism, humor and their general softness was really nice to write, and @frecklebombfic did a beautiful podfic of it.

Did you take any writing risks this year? Purely in terms of style, I wrote descent, in second person, which I know tends to polarize opinions. I love it, for whenever I want to write something that feels more immediate and intimate. I actually tried to rewrite it in third person, because the friend I was writing it for told me she wasn’t a big fan of second person, but it just wouldn’t work. It had to be written exactly as it is.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? I’d like to finish this chaptered Mcdrai magic AU fic that I’m working on and I’d like to continue writing the Vegas Golden Knights as their narrative unfolds, so the Bold in Gold series can become a sort of written history of the team and its fandom. Ambitious, but. We’ll see. I’m already working on the next part.

From my past year of writing, what was…

My best story of this year: armet. I think this was in the works the moment I realized that there was a possibility that Flower might go to Vegas and it ended up becoming exactly what I had hoped it would be.

My most popular story of this year: i still get jealous of your old boyfriends, judging by kudos, which is actually funny to me, because for the longest time I really hated what I wrote for that fic and I ended up posting it after having it written for a period of time.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: foundations, my Marleau/Thornton fic. I mean, it’s a niche pairing and a character study, so it’s probably as good as it’s going to get, but it’s basically peak me and my love for old men and their narratives.

Most fun story to write: world i can call mine , which was my Pod_together project with @frecklebombfic . Having her input on it was so essential (as it was in many of my fics this year) and I had such a fun time discussing Auston, Zach and Mitch, and poly with her. And her podfic ended up being perfect. It was just a great project.

Story with the single sexiest moment: Man, I don’t know, I’m an ace essentially floundering in the world of smut. But I did manage to post, like 4 explicit stories this year, which just goes to show you that you can be anything you set your mind to, kids. As it is, I’m nominating this line from wake me up come tomorrow

Oscar does, adds another finger only when he feels Adam completely relax into the first. He fingers him slow and easy, watching his face as it relaxes from discomfort to pleasure. Adam makes these noises too, cut off moans, helpless and involuntary. Oscar adds a third finger and he whines, high in his throat.

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: circumstance, which I hadn’t realized was still posted on anon until right now. So I’m owning up to it, I suppose. I’m not ashamed of it, because it still makes me laugh a lot on re-read, but please heed the warnings.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: your morning cup, my Tim Horton character study. I didn’t even really know anything about him when I decided I was going to be writing this fic. But as I researched and wrote, the story ended up being one of the most important things I wrote this year.

Hardest story to write: something like hope was an exercise in frustration, until I figured out how to frame it with quotes from Pekka’s Players’ Tribune article.

Biggest disappointment: I don’t really post things I’m actually unhappy with.

Biggest surprise: I was most surprised by how well fandom received Sabaton, because I figured it was something so niche that only a few people would actually click on, but it became one of my most popular stories. I’m really grateful for that.

Highlights + Wrap-up:

Favorite Opening Lines (4):

From tomorrow is going to be pretty pawsome

Ryan is halfway through his breakfast when he hears his front door opening. It’s 9am and he’s not wearing pants, so if he’s going to be robbed, he’s pretty much defenceless, unless he pelts the robber with some granola.

What still gets me is how real this ship became as the season progressed.

From Sabaton

There’re a few things Vadim expects to see when he lands in Las Vegas. His new teammate holding up a big sign with his name on it, decorated with footballs and pucks and glitter, isn’t one of them.

Am I still prissy about how badly they treated Shippy? Yes. Absolutely.

From LXXXVII

Sidney Crosby isn’t high on the list of people that Vadim expects to see in the hotel bar in Pittsburgh before the Knights game against the Penguins, and yet, there he is. Crosby is wearing a pair of thick rimmed glasses and a hat, presumably as some sort of disguise. It only makes him stand out more.

He also seems to be getting closer, swapping stools whenever Vadim glances away, until they’re sitting elbow to elbow.

Ridiculous Sid is my favorite plot device and he was in full effect in this fic.

From your morning cup

Strictly speaking, there’s never been a hockey player called Tim Horton.

I just liked the way this commands attention when you read it. I think it when you have something so niche, you need the first paragraph to grab your attention, and I think I did well here.

Favorite Closing Lines (5):

From dust in your veins

Then, Geno pulls him into another kiss, desperate, his chest shaking under Sid’s hands and Sid thinks that maybe he won't have to separate them after all.

That he can have this – his heart beating rapid fire in his chest, and Geno’s steadying palms on the muscles of his back, and the ghost of ice above them both.

I love the removable heart AU (not to be confused with the escaping heart AU) because it just works so incredibly well for those sports narratives.

From knight

“You know, it’s actually a pun, because I used to play for the London Knights and-”

“Oh my god, please stop.”

From we were a house on fire

“I want.”

“It’s been years.”

“Want still.”

“...yeah, okay.”

“Like that?”

“Yeah. Just like that.”

I love how deceptively simple this is, with no dialogue tags, but it feels like it packs a lot of punch, cutting through the complexity of their situation.

From descent

The streets of Edmonton turn slick, coated with fallen snow. Daylight is scarce, and cold besides, and you wear a jersey that doesn’t mean much to you and you watch out for the boy that means everything.

At night your curl around Connor in your bed. He always runs hot, burning in your bones and warming you from the inside out.

He presses his mouth to the nape of your neck, and you blink, mind muddled with sleep, and you realize you don’t know which one of you is the one doing the protecting.

Ask me sometime about my thoughts about enforcers and their relationships with star players, and why end up romanticizing them so much.

From armet

“Fleuuuurrrryyyy,” the fans scream, without a hint of mocking, echoing off the concrete of the building, “Fleuuuurrrryyyyyyyy!” and it’s all he can do to smile through his tears, waving at these people who have crucified and martyred him over the years, but have loved him through it all.

His crease hasn’t changed. He pats the pipes, feels them steady beneath his palm, familiar. His teammates are all on the ice now, circling his goal, and he catches sight of Nealer coming forward with the puck. His face is grim and determined, and Flower remembers he’s got something to prove too.

He gives Nealer a sharp nod and crouches. Smiles.

He’s ready.

Flower’s game against the Pens in Vegas was emotionally devastating and I can only imagine how it’ll be when they play in Pittsburgh.

Favorite Lines From Anywhere (6):

From be your spine

The Bruins seem just fine without him, which is just a metaphor for his life, really. He notices the absence of Boston, but Boston is too big to notice he’s gone.

He limits his texts to Tuukka, and eventually they taper off, growing sparser and more impersonal as months go by. It’s understandable. Anton feels the absence of Tuukka like a phantom limb, but Tuukka is too brilliant, too beautiful, to be affected by Anton’s absence.

My first fic of the year was a homage to the journeyman player, the one who isn’t a star anywhere, the one that’s expendable. And this was one of the lines that summarized it pretty well.

From teddy bear

“I just want to be a cool dad, like Bozie! You’re the lame dad, Zach is the big brother figure and Leo is the grumpy grandpa. We all have roles to play!”

Matt bites back his first comment, and the second one. They’re both swearwords.

This whole sequence between Mo and Matt still makes me laugh really really hard.

From foundations

The Sharks are Joe’s team by virtue of wanting him more than anyone else did, but they aren’t his team like they’re Patty’s, who’s left pieces of himself in every crack in the Shark Tank concrete and who wears the jersey with more pride than anyone Joe’s ever known.

This fic hurts more now that Patty got traded.

From heart like a home

Roman is still sprawled across PK’s bed, entirely naked, reading one of PK’s magazines. His tanned skin glows in the soft yellow light of the bedside lamps. The sight never fails to make PK’s mouth go dry. As if sensing his gaze, Roman looks up, arching an elegant eyebrow, a stray curl falling across his forehead.

I want to eventually try to capture the various details of Roman/PK in a longer fic but for now this image of naked Roman will have to do.

From these tornadoes are for you

Bob is standing at the stove, muttering something to himself. He still looks like he did last night, little bolts of lightning racing across his skin, and when he turns around his eyes are still glowing pale in his face. It’s a little disconcerting, but Nick goes with it.

“What are you doing?” Nick asks, walking next to him to look at the pan and wincing. He’s careful not to touch Bob, doesn’t know what it’ll do to him. “Was this supposed to be scrambled eggs?”

I really enjoyed writing the whole scene of Bob releasing his magic in the woods, but what made me happiest to write was the morning after and how all that magic becomes somewhat of a hindrance.

From i still get jealous of your old boyfriends

“Are you telling me that Connor McDavid’s favorite show is My Super Sweet 16?” he asks incredulously. Mitch grins at him.

“Oh, no,” he says and Auston lets out a sigh of relief, “it used to be his favorite show. I think his favorite right now is Extreme Couponing.”

Connor and Extreme Couponing is the greatest love story I’ve written this year.

Fic Goals for 2017: I want to finish off the four WIPs that I didn’t manage to this year. Beyond that, I don’t have any particular expectations. I hope I can continue to enjoy writing in this fandom and that people will continue to enjoy my work.

year in fic review (2016)

#personal #writing

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shervonfakhimi · 4 years

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The 2019-20 NBA Champion Los Angeles Lakers Appreciation Post

The Los Angeles Lakers are the 2019-20 NBA Champions. Damn, that feels great to type, so let me do it again: the Los Angeles Lakers are the 2019-20 NBA Champions. I’ve already written before about why this team was so lovable, so let this serve as part two.

I think what makes this championship so sweet, outside of actually winning the damn thing, is the fact that this was far from a guarantee, despite the fact that once we reached the Conference Finals, the Lakers were prohibitive favorites. But the Clipper love from numerous pundits was there after Kawhi Leonard’s run last year. The Bucks’ numbers were astronomical. The Raptors were defending champions despite not retaining Kawhi Leonard. Buzz was there for the up-and-coming Celtics, Sixers, and Nuggets. Surely, the Lakers were right in this mix and above most of these other teams (it’s not like they snuck up on anybody with LeBron James and Anthony Davis on the squad), but this thing was up for the taking. It also might have been the Lakers’ best shot at a title. They will be even better next year, but the Clippers should be too. The Nuggets as well if Michael Porter Jr. takes a leap. The Brooklyn Nets get a healthy Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving back. Jayson Tatum took a leap in Boston. Not just that I’m a Laker fan, but I’d still take the Lakers over any of those teams with two guys you can argue are the best players in the league. But you can make the case for any of those teams, I feel. That the Lakers upended their franchise to put Anthony Davis next to LeBron James and already have a championship to show for it just ensures that all the moves they made to get to this point was worth everything and then some.

What also made this championship so awesome is that it truly took a collective team effort to make this happen. Sure, the stress and attention LeBron and AD put on opposing defenses make the job of those around them way easier than it normally would be, but the players still had to get the job done. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope made GM Rob Pelinka look like a prophet when he called Pope ‘mana from heaven’ at his introductory press conference in 2017, shooting 38% from deep in the playoffs, and hitting arguably the biggest shot(s) of the entire season in Game 4 with about three minutes to go to push a two-point Laker lead up to 7. Playoff Rondo made his triumphant return like Luke Skywalker at the end of ‘The Last Jedi’ and was a constant difference-maker since returning to action in the second round against the Houston Rockets. Want to know drastic a difference there was in Rajon Rondo’s play in the postseason? In the regular season, the Lakers had a Net Rating of -5.2 points per 100 possession when Rondo shared the floor with LeBron James and Anthony Davis. In the playoffs? That number skyrocketed to +12 points per 100 possessions. I can’t understate how wrong I was in writing off Rondo, but boy am I glad to be wrong because he was awesome throughout the entire playoff run.

But that isn’t all. Frank Vogel saved his ‘secret weapon’ for literally the last game of the season, but Alex Caruso was great all season long. His two-man game with LeBron James bore itself out again and routinely accepted and stood out in arduous matchups against Damian Lillard, James Harden, Jamal Murray, Tyler Herro, and Jimmy Butler defensively, along with playing the exceptional help defense we’ve been accustomed to seeing from him throughout his young career. There’s a reason why us fans love him so much. The Lakers had a +3.6 Net Rating with Caruso on the floor in the playoffs, the fourth-best mark on the team with only LeBron, AD, and Danny Green ahead of him. Danny Green’s shooting drew ire from fans, but I always trusted and wanted him on the floor in big moments because he would make similar plays to Caruso, like here against Denver swatting Mason Plumlee and Nikola Jokic in big moments. Markieff Morris made like Denzel Curry and unlocked lineups to feature Anthony Davis at center with Kieff’s ability to stretch the floor. For the playoffs, Markieff Morris shot 42% on 3.3 attempts per game. The Lakers had a Net Rating of +16.5 for the playoffs when Morris shared the floor with Anthony Davis to better free Davis to swarm the paint. Kyle Kuzma may not have become the third scorer many were hoping for, but he totally bought into defense and routinely snuck through crevices in opposing defenses honing on LeBron and Davis. Dwight Howard bothered Nikola Jokic in the Conference Finals much the same way he did in their matchup before the All-Star break back in February. The Lakers had a Net Rating of +19.7 when Dwight was on the floor at the same time as Jokic during the Conference Finals. Even the rook Talen Horton-Tucker had a moment against Houston flashing versatility defensively and playmaking off the bounce (watch out for Young Talen next season). Jared Dudley, Dion Waiters, Quinn Cook, JaVale McGee, and JR Smith brought even more chemistry, camaraderie, and/or accountability to the team. The celebrations on the bench were nonstop. When Talen Horton-Tucker got run against Houston and produced, you could just hear and see the love from his teammates. That always stuck out to me. Before this season restarted, Lakers head coach Frank Vogel said that the third option on this team was going to be ‘the open man,’ implying that anybody on the roster could have both the ability and opportunity to step up when the Lakers need it the most. That couldn’t have been any more true. It truly was a team effort.

But of course, those guys were third options for a reason. It’s not bad having LeBron James and Anthony Davis be your first or second options, I suppose. Let’s start with Davis. If there were questions of whether or not the Lakers could win a title, I think those hinged on whether or not pundits believed Davis could step up the way the Lakers would’ve needed him to. Now, that felt particularly silly after Davis averaged 30.5 points, 12.7 rebounds, 1.8 assists, 2.5 blocks, and 1.8 steals per game on over 50% shooting with elite defense in 13 previous playoff games (nine of which coming against the eventual champion Golden State Warriors), but any questions about Davis in the playoffs were quickly answered. He was dominant on both ends. Teams had no answer for him, and if they did, that meant they didn’t have any answers for LeBron. Lumbering bigs like Nikola Jokic, Jusuf Nurkic, Hassan Whiteside, Meyers Leonard, or Kelly Olynyk couldn’t contest Davis’ perimeter jumper, and after trying to take that away, he’d fly to the rim with lobs from LeBron and Rondo waiting for him. Wings like Carmelo Anthony, PJ Tucker, Robert Covington, Jerami Grant, Paul Millsap, Jimmy Butler, Andre Iguodala, Solomon Hill, and Jae Crowder all got their turns going against Davis and he laid waste to all of them, whether it be with his iso face-up game on the elbows, in the post or clobbering the offensive glass. Post-ups and isolations have become two of the less-glamourous modes of offense, but in the playoffs, you have to get offense by any means necessary, and Davis generated 0.97 points per possessions out of post-ups and 1.09 points per possessions out of iso, per NBA.com, both healthy numbers. Davis shot well from basically anywhere on the floor, embodying the persona of a three-level scorer. Davis managed to pull off an effective field goal percentage of 60.2%. The only player to have a better eFG% in the postseason while shooting at least 15 attempts per game and at least advance past the first round? Some guy named LeBron James. Not only was he efficient, but he also was clutch too, as evidenced by the buzzer-beater against the Nuggets in Game 2 and the dagger in Game 4 of the Finals. When the game was within five points in the last five minutes of the game in the playoffs, Davis shined, shooting 75% from the field, scoring 20 points in 26 clutch minutes. No matter the time, no matter who, what, where or when something was thrown at Davis, Davis had an answer. He averaged 27.7 points, 9.7 rebounds, 3.5 assists, and basically 2.5 stocks (steals + blocks) on 57.1/38.3/83.2 shooting splits. He did this all while playing elite, defensive player of the year level defense as well, going from corraling Damian Lillard’s pick and roll prowess to shutting down Houston’s three-point brigade, to stifling the Jamal Murray-Nikola Jokic duet with switches to slowing down Jimmy Butler rim romps simultaneously while limiting Miami’s shooters in Tyler Herro and Duncan Robinson from truly getting comfortable AND stuffing Bam Adebayo at the rim repeatedly (check out Kevin O’Connor of ‘The Ringer’ break Davis’ defense down even further here). Anthony Davis did it all time and time again. He didn’t win Finals MVP but he could’ve. He likely will win at least one of those before it is all said and done.

Unfortunately for the rest of the NBA, I can say the same thing about the man who DID win Finals MVP, even though he is about to turn 36 in a couple of months and just finished his 17th season of basketball duty. LeBron James is still THAT dude, the best player in the league, the ultimate alpha dog, the man who shapes this league like no other can. Do you want a crazy, mind-blowing stat? Well, check this out, courtesy of Michael Pina of GQ. I want you to guess who is who:

Player A: 10.5 drives per game, 60% FG% from shots off of those drives.

Player B: 12 drives per game, 68% FG% from shots off of those drives.

So who are these mystery characters? Player A is back-to-back MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo in the regular season. Player B is LeBron James in the playoffs. Yes, when defenses are honed in on everything you do, LeBron James at age 35 was somehow more lethal plowing through the rim than the extraterrestrial Giannis was rampaging through everyone in the regular season. That seems impossible, but impossible is nothing for the King. When the Lakers smelled blood in the water, it was typically LeBron who made sure to ignite the impending doom awaiting his opponent, whether it be a 36-7-5 performance against the Rockets to take a 2-1 lead, a masterful 38-16-10 triple-double to eliminate the Denver Nuggets and advance to the NBA Finals, or an even better 40-13-7 masterpiece in Game 5 of the Finals that tragically was wasted after a masterpiece from Jimmy Butler in his own right and Danny Green’s three-ball at the end went begging short. LeBron took on defensive challenges in his own right, as he did all season long, most-notably shutting down bubble star Jamal Murray towards the end of the Western Conference Finals. LeBron averaged a career-low in playoff minutes per game at 36.3, but his averages and play were right there with his Finals runs of yesteryear, putting up 27.6 points, 10.8 rebounds, 8.8 assists and 2 stocks on 56/37/72 shooting splits. As mentioned earlier, he was the most efficient scorer in the playoffs among those who made it to the second round at least, and Davis was right behind him. There isn’t much more that really can be said about LeBron James. The end isn’t anywhere near sight, and it likely won’t be for the foreseeable future either.

Which leads us to this offseason. The Lakers have a mid-level exception of about $10million to spend, have the 28th pick in the draft, and will likely be a destination for ring-chasers to snatch one before their careers are over. Anthony Davis is still only 27 years old. Maybe Kyle Kuzma becomes more consistent and is more comfortable next season after buying and playing well in his new role. Talen Horton-Tucker should be a rotation player next year on the wing. They’ll have max money in 2021 when numerous free agents will be on the market. LeBron can continue to age gracefully playing off the 7-foot gazelle that is Anthony Davis. This could be the start of another Laker dynasty.

But this 2019-20 team will likely stick out amongst the pack if things go the Lakers way in the future. This team went through so much, from being in China during the aftermath of Rockets’ GM Daryl Morey’s tweet to healing a mourning city after the tragic passing of franchise icon Kobe Bryant and his daughter and three other members of separate families to the ongoing coronavirus to helping lead in the racial reckoning this country faced in the summer. Through all of this, there were these Lakers, there to help us fans get through it all. Maybe you could use the term ‘distract,’ but damn it at least I know I needed that distraction. And through it all, you could see and feel how much fun these guys had together.

This team was more than a basketball team; it truly was a family, one I eagerly awaited to welcome into my room time and time again once their games tipped. Head Coach Frank Vogel and GM Rob Pelinka deserve a ton of credit for putting this team together and having it gel as quickly as it did. Pelinka was put in a tough spot after the Davis trade and Kawhi Leonard stalling their free agency plans (Vogel on the latest episode of ‘The Lowe Post’ podcast said the team was put together in three hours after Leonard’s decision broke). Vogel sifted through different lineup variations when called upon and cooked up all the correct and necessary game plans to short-circuit all the opponents in the Lakers’ way in the playoffs. They didn’t get off to the strongest of starts (Pelinka especially) and I was skeptical because of it, but those two proved me wrong BIG TIME, and boy am I glad I was wrong. Hopefully, those two hold on to their respective positions for quite a long time.

It stinks the fans in the city of Los Angeles can’t truly celebrate with the team, but that time will eventually come. This wasn’t my first Laker championship to celebrate; I remember being in Las Vegas in 2009 when they won in Orlando and watching Game 7 of the 2010 Finals. I never thought that moment could be topped, yet there I was with tears of joy strolling down my face once the clock struck zeroes in Game 6. After all those years of losing. After all the shit 2020 threw in the face of the world. Something worth celebrating happened. So again, thank you to all the players, to GM Rob Pelinka, to Governor Jeanie Buss, to everyone who played a part.

The Los Angeles Lakers are the 2019-20 NBA Champions. Damn, that feels great to type.

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bthenoise · 4 years

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Here’s The Best of 2019 As Picked By Members Of The Used, Periphery, Counterparts, Killswitch Engage, Grayscale & More

Well everyone, we did it. Somehow someway we all survived yet another 365 gloriously trying days on this place we call earth. In about two more weeks, we will officially begin a brand new decade with hopes of starting something beautiful and life-changing for the human race. Until then, we’d like to take a second to look back on some of the finer things that came out of 2019 – you know, like the best album, best song, best movie, etc.

Like we’ve done in years past, we’ve completely turned our year-end best-of list over to the artists we cover on a daily basis because let’s face it, their opinions are the ones we all really care about, right?

Right.

To check out what bands like The Used, Counterparts, Periphery, Killswitch Engage, Fit For A King, Grayscale, Atreyu, Wage War, Boston Manor and more have all been obsessing over for the past year or so, be sure to see below. We hope you enjoy this final list as much as we do and wish you all the most peaceful and positive holiday season ever.

Enjoy!

Jeph Howard and Dan Whitesides - The Used

JEPH HOWARD

Best Album of 2019: Sampa the Great - The Return And Knocked Loose - A Different Shade Of Blue

Best Song of 2019: “Blow Me” - from The Used and yes I’m biased.

Best Music Video of 2019: Wendall - “The Power of Wings”

Most Underrated Album of 2019: Sampa the Great - The Return. Her vibe reminds me of my favorite era of hip hop.

Best Movie of 2019: Dr. Sleep, great book too. Must have been tough rewriting the story just enough to mix both the book The Shining and the film adaptation Kubrick made and then making a movie based on both origins.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The OA season 3. So unfair that never happened.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Epstein was an inside job and also the cat playing the cell phone ring tone 😂

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: HodgePodge Superfest 2019 Indonesia, mostly because I got to hang with a couple family friends I haven’t seen in years.

2020 New Year's Resolution: For 2020 I want to worry less about things I have no control over.

DAN WHITESIDES

Best Album: The Knocked Loose album A Different Shade Of Blue is great and so fuckin heavy! On the other side of things, the Billie Eilish album is really good front to back. Saw her live in Salt Lake and it was pretty sick.

Best Song: Honestly, it’s “Blow Me” by my band The Used. I’m not just saying that because it’s my band. It’s a great fucking song and it has all of my favorite elements in it.

Best Music Video: Blink 182’s “Darkside.” Love the stick tricks and the dancing kids.

Most Underrated Album: All the albums I liked in 2019, I rated them pretty high.

Best Movie: Dumb and Dumber has been the best movie every year since it came out. All the kids movies that came out in 2019 were good. I see them all. I didn’t really like The Addams Family though.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Atypical and Fuller House and I’m not fucking with you. I laugh out loud at Fernando every time!

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): When the deaf baby hears for the first time. I almost cried but I couldn’t because I’m a man and men don’t cry. Just playin! I did tear up a weeee bit.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Saw Rob Zombie and damn he puts on a great show. Back To The Beach was my favorite show I played in 2019. We did a cover of Linkin Park’s “Shadow Of The Day” at that show and it started raining. People were crying. It was nuts!

2020 New Year's Resolution: I don’t really do resolutions but I wish people could just get along despite their beliefs. Life is too short.

Misha Mansoor - Periphery

Best Album of 2019: Mordial by Carbomb Best Song of 2019: “F it Up” by Louis Cole Best Music Video of 2019: “Genesis” by Devin Townsend Most Underrated Album of 2019: Forever, A Fast Life by Infinity Shred Best Movie of 2019: Jojo Rabbit Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Barry Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Gamer Girl Bath Water Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Attended - Deadmau5 Cube V3. Played - Sold Out London headliner at O2 Kentish Town 2020 New Year's Resolution: Drive more cars

Brendan Murphy - Counterparts

Best Album of 2019: Better Off - Reap What You Sow. Luke is probably the best songwriter I know personally. The album is an absolute fucking hit. I literally begged him to send me the masters before the album came out and I’ve listened to it non-stop since. Was hard to keep that album a secret.

Best Song of 2019: Gotta go with what my Spotify wrapped tells me and aside from the 1975’s discography, my most listened to song of 2019 was “Slingshot” by Better Off. The song is amazing, the lyrics rock, chorus is fucking huge. Like I said, Luke can’t write a bad song.

Best Music Video of 2019: I’ll be honest, it’s rare for me to watch any music video that doesn’t have the 1975 in it so I’m gonna go ahead and pick their video for “Frail State of Mind” because... I mean look at him, he’s so cool. If we could get away with making videos like that I might actually not dread shooting them haha.

Most Underrated Album of 2019: BETTER OFF, YET AGAIN. ARE YOU SURPRISED? I don’t understand how they aren’t the biggest band on earth.

Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar. I’m a total A24/Ari Aster fanboy and I love movies about freaky cults and this movie ticks all the boxes. It’s not as much of a “deep dive” as Hereditary, very surface level, but I mean it’s creepy and it’s shot beautifully and there’s flowers everywhere and in case you forgot I sing for Counterparts so it’s right up my fuckin alley haha.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Barry without question. Blake made me watch an episode when we were recording NLTL and I binged watched the show so hard I’d be up all night watching when I was supposed to be writing lyrics. Last time I was physically unable to stop watching a show was Lost, so that should say something.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): My own twitter hun xox 😘

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: I mean it’s hard to remember our shows because not only are they all fun, I’ve usually had a few chardonnays by the time we go on stage BUT one that stands out is the last day of Private Room 2.0 in Worcester... simply because for all of “Love Me” I didn’t have to say a fucking word, the crowd did the whole damn thing. I think there’s a video where I get so stoked I start screaming “YOU’RE GOD DAMN RIGHT” and jumping. It’s fun and honestly, it’s 10 fucking words don’t make me do it by myself.

2020 New Year's Resolution: Stop accidentally calling my teacher “mom.”

Mike D'Antonio - Killswitch Engage

Best Album of 2019: He Is Legend - White Bat Best Song of 2019: He Is Legend - “Resister Resist Her” Best Music Video of 2019: Death Ray Vision “Just Let It Die” Most Underrated Album of 2019: He Is Legend - White Bat Best Movie of 2019: Joker Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The Mandalorian Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Yoda/Toyota meme Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Field Day played in Connecticut a few months back. 2020 New Year's Resolution: Refuse the new world order

Porter McKnight - Atreyu

Best Album of 2019: Angel Du$t - Pretty Buff Best Song of 2019: “The Dead Don’t Die” - Sturgill Simpson Best Music Video of 2019: Rammstein - “Deutschland” Most Underrated Album of 2019: The Act - The Devil Wears Prada Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Watchmen Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Paul Rudd “Look at us” on Hot Ones Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Attended - Nothing More - New Orleans March 2019 Played - Mr’s Smalls Theatre - Millvale, PA 2020 New Year's Resolution: Establish a consistent physical art practice

Ryan Kirby - Fit For A King

Best Album of 2019: Just for the purpose of nostalgia, I am going to go with Shaped by Fire by As I Lay Dying. It doesn't re-invent the wheel but it's just some good ole metalcore that brings me back.

Best Song of 2019: I absolutely cannot stop listening to "Masochist" by Polaris. This band is going to be huge!

Best Music Video of 2019: I feel like I have to say our own video for "When Everything Means Nothing" is the best strictly because we all almost died of hypothermia while getting sprayed by a fire hose.

Most Underrated Album of 2019: I think The Valley by Whitechapel doesn't get talked about near as much as it should. Phil's cleans are fantastic and they keep bringing the heavy.

Best Movie of 2019: I feel like this will be a lot of people's favorite movie but The Joker was an absolute masterpiece.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: This one is EASILY The Boys. It might be the most well-done superhero show OR movie ever made. Once you watch the first episode, you are sucked in.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): This one is really tough because at this point, I don't even know which meme is from what year. I guess I'll go with Baby Yoda since I know that’s 2019 but with a disclaimer: There are a lot of NOT funny Baby Yoda memes out there.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: The show in Cologne, Germany with As I Lay Dying was the biggest club show we had ever played, and at the same time, probably one of the best live performances I've ever seen. Amazing night.

2020 New Year's Resolution: I want to be able to run a half marathon with my dad. It’s pretty simple but he is out here running full marathons all the time and is double my age. I feel like I need to step it up.

Valentino Arteaga - Of Mice & Men

Best Album of 2019: Gideon - Out Of Control Best Song of 2019: Kublai Khan TX - “Self Destruct” Best Music Video of 2019: Ghostemane - “Bonesaw” Most Underrated Album of 2019: Ithaca - The Language of Injury Best Movie of 2019: Yesterday Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Cold Case Files Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Spotify Wrapped 2019 Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Wacken Open Air Festival 2020 New Year's Resolution: Eat less meat & make more music

Matty Mullins - Memphis May Fire

Best Album of 2019: Dermot Kennedy - Without Fear Best Song of 2019: Papa Roach - “Feel Like Home” Best Music Video of 2019: Asking Alexandria - “The Violence” Most Underrated Album of 2019: He Is Legend - White Bat Best Movie of 2019: Yesterday Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: This Is Us Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): @catatonicyouths IG Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Warped Tour in Atlantic City was LEGENDARY! 2020 New Year's Resolution: Write the best MMF record of our career

Nick Ventimiglia - Grayscale

Best Album of 2019: tryhard by The Band Camino and Fear Inoculum by Tool Best Song of 2019: "No Age" by Rich People Best Music Video of 2019: "Mantra" by Bring Me the Horizon was pretty wild Most Underrated Album of 2019: Third Eye Blind - Screamer Best Movie of 2019: Big fans of Us and The Irishman Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Peaky Blinders and Mindhunter Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Big fan of the Kawhi Leonard “Hey, hey, hey” memes. Really anything but that lady yelling at that fucking cat. Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Our headliner in Philly this past October at The TLA. 2020 New Year's Resolution: Rock harder than we did in 2019.

Cody Quistad - Wage War

Best Album of 2019: tryhard by The Band Camino Best Song of 2019: “See Through” by The Band Camino Best Music Video of 2019: “Resentment” by A Day To Remember Most Underrated Album of 2019: In Darkness by Varials Best Movie of 2019: Peanut Butter Falcon The Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The Office, duh Favorite Internet Moment of 2019: The Epstein memes kill me Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Can’t Say I Ain’t Country Tour: Florida Georgia Line, Dan + Shay, Morgan Wallen 2020 New Year’s Resolution: Write the best songs I’ve ever written, love on more people, and be healthier

Boston Manor

Best Album of 2019: Death Is A Warm Blanket by Microwave. This record is the best guitar music to come out in years. As our contemporaries, Microwave is constantly challenging and inspiring us to make better art.

Best Song of 2019: “The Brakeman Has Resigned” by Microwave. This song could not be more relevant to us, both instrumentally and lyrically. It’s just fuckin’ perfect.

Best Music Video of 2019: “DIAWB” by Microwave. You get the point.

Most Underrated Album of 2019: Foreign Language EP by Can’t Swim. Always love to see friends changing up their riff game.

Best Movie of 2019: The Irishmen. I’ve watched it like three times in the van now and can’t choose which Tony is my favourite.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Rick and Morty. You son of a bitch, I’m in.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Eric Egan from Heart Attack Man.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Best concert we played would have to be Download Madrid. Right off the heels of ADTR in America, the airline lost our gear so we had to cobble together a backline and ended up playing after Tool to an insane amount of people.

2020 New Year's Resolution: Continue our world domination.

Mike Foley - Varials

Best Album of 2019: Feels Like You by Whirr Best Song of 2019: "Nothing Left To Love" by Counterparts Best Music Video of 2019: Tie between "Lips Like Lemonade" by Nick Prosper & "Mistakes Like Fractures" by Knocked Loose. Most Underrated Album of 2019: Deceiver by Diiv Best Movie of 2019: Joker Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: I Think You Should Leave Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Kombucha girl Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: The best show I attended was definitely the Balance & Composure farewell show in NYC. RIP. Best played was definitely the Atlantic City Warped Tour date. Also RIP. 2020 New Year's Resolution: Tour more internationally / spend as much time traveling as possible. Really hoping we make it to 3 different continents this year.

Kory Gregory - Prince Daddy & The Hyena

Best Album of 2019: Remembering The Rockets - Strange Ranger Best Song of 2019: “Mono No Aware” - Great Grandpa Best Music Video of 2019: “Must Be Wrong” - White Reaper Most Underrated Album of 2019: Super Enthusiast - Macseal Best Movie of 2019: Parasite Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Been really enjoying Mandalorian Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Baby Yoda forever and always. No questions asked. Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Our record release show in NYC was really special! That’s my favorite one I played. As far as the ones I attended, this Culture Abuse/Tony Molina show I went to in Boston was pretty legendary. 2020 New Year's Resolution: I just wanna keep writing songs that are better than the last!

Yvette Young - Covet

Best Album of 2019: The Japanese House - Good At Falling Best Song of 2019: “Shrugging Match” - Bobbing Best Music Video of 2019: Don Broco - “Action” Most Underrated Album of 2019: Town Portal - Of Violence Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: I Think You Should Leave Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Discovering bandmemes666, Chibson, catatonicyouths and allgasnobrakes on IG Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Orlando summer headliner show at The Soundbar 2020 New Year's Resolution: Make a dope full-length album

Carter Hardin - Chapel

Best Album of 2019: Album of the year for me is KIN by Electric Guest. Every song is a bop and the production is so clean.

Best Song of 2019: I would have to say “Friends” by CHAPEL. The band is pretty cool and the song is a slapper.

Best Music Video of 2019: “Panini” by Lil Nas X is mine. It’s the most memorable one I’ve seen this year.

Most Underrated Album of 2019: Pep Talks - Judah & The Lion. Not enough people are talking about that record.

Best Movie of 2019: MARRIAGE STORY. This movie broke me & I can’t stop thinking about it.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Fleabag is amazing. you need to watch it.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Baby Yoda memes are the best memes in the world.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: I saw Cherub recently and they always put on the best show. This recent one was super inspiring.

2020 New Year's Resolution: Release more music

Alex Biro - Selfish Things

Best Album: The Act by The Devil Wears Prada. Genre-defying and innovative, this was one of my favourite albums of the last decade. I’ve been a TDWP fan since Zombie EP but the growth they’ve shown on their latest release while still staying true to their roots was sonically refreshing.

Best Song: “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X. This speaks for itself. I’ve never been one to shy away from popular music, but it’s Lil Nas X’s “love everyone but fuck everyone” attitude that kind of impresses me most? He’s punk as hell. He breaks stereotypes. He pissed off 90% of the country music industry. I hope he continues to succeed.

Best Music Video: “bury a friend” by Billie Eilish. I mean, it’s been Billie’s year. We all know that. But the whole “monster under your bed” motif coupled with her wanting to not shy away from the dark side of things in a genre filled to the brim with bubblegum songs and visuals speaks to her innovation as a creative and an artist.

Most Underrated Album of 2019: Everyone I’ve Ever Loved by Valleyheart. This came out a week and a half before 2019 but I’m including it here. “Agnosia” is one of the best songs I’ve heard in years. This band is fucking amazing. Don’t sleep on them. They deserve better than they’ve been given.

Best Movie of 2019: Peanut Butter Falcon. Shia LaBeouf is a true artist, and he’s at the peak of his game here. If you’re a fan of Garden State, The Grand Budapest Hotel, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Rocket Science or any other emotionally devastating indie films, this is a movie for you.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The Simpsons. God bless you Disney+. I can’t even put into words how nice it is to watch all of my old favourites with my daughter. Treehouse of Horror forever.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Colton jumping the fence during The Bachelor. We admittedly got snowed in during the “snow cyclone” in Wyoming and binged this whole season. I’ve never been more disappointed. Still impressed by his agility, though.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Atlanta, GA w/ Microwave, Boston Manor and Heart Attack Man. We’ve never had that many kids over the barricade. It was one of those “wow, maybe our band isn’t totally shit” moments. We all got off stage and knew it was one to remember. I’ll never forget it.

2020 New Year's Resolution: Learn to be happy with who I am without letting the toxicity of social media cloud my self-perception.

Ryan Donovan - Red City Radio

Best Album of 2019: Mannequin Pussy - Patience. "Who You Are" & "Drunk II" are some standout tracks on that record for me! It's just filled with melodic anthems that have killer soft harmonies and is kind of a technically ambitious record compared to their older stuff, which I also love!

Best Song of 2019: The Menzingers - "America (You're Freaking Me Out)." They fucking NAILED it with this track and our current climate in the US, socially/politically/economically etc. They seamlessly always write some killer tunes!

Best Music Video of 2019: PUP - "Free At Last." No one had heard the song yet. They posted the lyrics and chord chart to the song and took all submissions of everyone's interpretation of the song and edited that down. You just gotta watch it for yourself, IT FUCKING RULES. Most Underrated Album of 2019: Decent Criminal - BLISS. I love this band and their tunes/sound. Small indy label release and I hope they take some more strides forward and keep growing. They rip.

Best Movie of 2019: Favorite movie I have personally seen so far this year is Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. I heard it was a lot of either "love it" or "hated it" kind of reviews but I personally thought it was a killer film.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Ah man, with so much time on the road touring this year for RCR binge-watching older shows was a lot of my downtime when I got back home so here are some favs: Admittedly I had never seen Breaking Bad, that has now been binged and completed. Game Of Thrones (hadn't seen it until this Summer, I know, I know whatever). Animal Kingdom, Succession, Punisher, Jessica Jones and I Think You Should Leave.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): I LOVE THIS MEME and I do love pizza.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Probably the last show of our short tour with Hot Water Music over in Cologne, Germany. It was the largest capacity venue show we have ever played as a band - that wasn't a festival - at 4k humans, sold out! It was also extra special because Rockpalast had a 10+ human camera crew on hand and filmed the whole thing with live edits as it was streamed for anyone to tune in and watch. The edits and camera/audio/streaming quality was A+!!!

2020 New Year's Resolution: Better self-care.

Brett Boland - Astronoid

Best Album of 2019: HEALTH - VOL. 4 :: SLAVES OF FEAR Best Song of 2019: Dinosaur Pile-Up - Thrash Metal Cassette Best Music Video of 2019: Billie Eilish - “bury a friend” Most Underrated Album of 2019: Nightmare Scenario - Beyond What is Real Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Succession Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Sonic The Hedgehog Movie debacle. Best Concert You Attended: Final Slayer show in MA Best Concert You Played in 2019: Exit 111 2020 New Year's Resolution: PUT OUT MORE MUSIC

Conversation

Best Album of 2019: Copeland - Blushing. I’ve been a huge fan of this band for years and years and years; to say that they shaped my songwriting is an understatement. I was lucky enough to catch Copeland for the first time on this tour and it was a truly tectonic moment for me. Blushing was a perfect step for this band in terms of tone, emotional maturity and instrumental creativity. I was just so happy to hear every single song.

Best Song of 2019: “Make It Better” by Anderson Paak. This track just puts you in a good mood!!

Best Music Video of 2019: Our music video for “You’ve Made Yourself Perfectly Clear” where we accurately and tastefully re-created the opening scene of Wayne’s World to perfection. I know it seems like a bit of a brag to say you had the best video of the year, but truth be told, nothing else even came close.

Best Movie of 2019: Joker - I’m sure this will be a pretty common response but IT WAS INCREDIBLE!!

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Letterkenny - A hilarious show about small-town Canada. If you don’t know, now you know.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Jonathan Frakes Asking Questions.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: A close tie between Arkells at Scotiabank Arena and Barr Brothers at Mod Club

2020 New Year's Resolution: To tour all of the USA and Europe for our new record. We are all so excited for the new music that we’re about to put out into the world and our undying dream is to show our live show to the entire world. SO THAT’S WHAT WE’RE DOING!!!

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rock-and-compass · 7 years

Text

Okay my thoughts on the season finale… (as posted in the ABC advisory group)

If this wasn’t Jennifer Morrison’s (as good as) Last episode I would probably be fine with it, another rinse and repeat finale with a one group of people occupied doing one thing in one place while another group is kept busy elsewhere doing something else. It was very like what we’ve seen in the season finales in recent years – very formulaic. And I guess, with so many of the cast members departing and this being touted so heavily as “the final battle” I guess I just expected more. And that’s my mistake; I own that. I’m starting to think that Once Upon a Time is not a show that should be thought about on any level. It is fast food storytelling. You enjoy it at the time but ultimately, it’s not very satisfying and if you think about it too closely you’re likely to feel regret. I think you’re supposed to enjoy the surface level of the show but not concern yourself with the depth. And this is a huge and sad realisation for someone who has watched the show from the beginning and spent the last four seasons writing about and analysing the episodes in depth – sometimes writing thousands of words about one episode. It wasn’t always like this though and it makes me sad.

My biggest problem with the episode was the disconnectedness between the two sides of the story. We see the people transported back to the Enchanted Forest do various things – there’s collapsing worlds, there is a hunt for a bean, Regina is trying to do magic for …reasons. But ultimately nothing that those stuck in the Enchanted Forest does has any purpose whatsoever – it’s mindless busywork to keep them occupied and out of the way. Why didn’t Hook use the bean? Why didn’t he throw it on the ground and create a portal and get back to Emma quickly like Snow told him to? How nice it would have been to get a pay-off on Emma’s brief flashes of memory of her wedding day, Hooks image burning in the book, with him coming through a bean portal and Emma feeling a strange stab of recognition for this man and then them Kissing to restore her memories. Then Emma and Killian would have gotten their TLK! I feel so sad that so many couples got one, some that didn’t really deserve one (Hades and Zelena, I’m looking at you!) except for Emma and her true love. They still could have had their season one inversion of Henry giving Emma a TLK to save her life after the fight with Gideon (even though I think, and I am a mother, it’s really, really weird for a child to give their parent a true love’s kiss.). It would have connected the two parts of the story beautifully and it would have given purpose to the Enchanted Forrest side of the story and just improved the whole episode overall. I can’t help but think the episode would have been more entertaining and more of a parallel to season one if the curse had kept everyone in Storybrooke and robbed them of their memories – Henry still could have been the sole believer (I guess it was the book or his author role that kept him exempt?) and given him more purpose, more people to try to get through to… And maybe Emma wouldn’t have had to do the strange and oddly fast (8hour round trip!) visit to Boston. Ultimately, I felt there was no connection between why it was so important to separate Emma from her family and the realisation that she was never alone and the battle with Gideon and the curse . . . and yeah.

The Black-fairy was a big anti-climax. I knew she would be. She literally functioned as a Regina-substitute and I can’t help but wonder if, as this was the ending that A&E envisioned from the start, it was supposed to be Regina in the end. It would have made a hell of a lot more sense! I really believe the show was derailed from its purpose with, not by the befriending of Regina as a tactic to defeat her … but that that tactic worked so efficiently and without question. Regina’s redemption felt like a slap-up whitewash and somewhere along the line the writers became too scared to challenge the character. She got away with everything she ever did with no consequence. It’s hardly a satisfying story. Fairy tales are about good versus evil. With good supposed to win after trial and hardship. It’s a shame that Regina was never put through the same trials and challenge that say, Rumple or Hook or even Emma and the Charmings’ were put through. Seeing the dwarves paint “Queen” on her door and bowing to her was sickening. She is not a queen, she is a usurper. At the very least she should have admitted this as part of her “redemption”. The very least. All I could think when there was the shot of her looking at the red apple at the end, was that she must be very pleased with herself. She Won. She won everything. Her evil plans and schemes paid off big time – she’s rich, powerful, she apparently “owns” a town, the people now love her, she has a son, friends and a sister and she never had to pay the price for any of the terrible things she did. It’s not logical to expect people would just ‘get over’ decades of abuse and torment. It’s not fair on the people she hurt. Not to mention that her clone also rides off happily ever after into the sunset? Of all the unnecessary inclusions in the finale the presence of Regina 2.0 was the worst. She dominated and nearly killed the show; I seriously hope that this is the last we see of her. In this new-look season seven, I really hope that they make Henry’s nemesis, whoever that may be, his nemesis. And keep it that way. Don’t make Henry befriend him (or her)! Enmity is a good thing to keep between enemies. It drives a story, it gives purpose – it gives the audience someone to root for. And as ironic as this sounds – it doesn’t divide. People may love a villain but they love them for being a villain and they love the hero for standing up to them. It makes a much better story than making your protagonist sweep the past under the carpet, and put their blinkers on about every questionable thing that their nemesis is doing. And don’t turn Henry’s archenemy into a sainted Mary-sue (or Bobby-Stu) who is annoying and sanctimonious while at the same time being self-centred and selfish and boring and rendering themselves superfluous to the point where every appearance in the story feels like a shoehorn…

The ending of the episode was nice, but a bit twee. Everyone got a happy ending. Yay. I guess. Whether they deserved it or not. Belle, why wouldn’t you have taken that newly babyfied Gideon and run for the hills? I liked that Rumple did the right thing in the end but it was too little too late for that marriage – and with Belle not coming back next season, surely a melancholy bittersweet parting of the ways would have been more appropriate for them? As it is, it feels very much like all these Happy Beginnings that have been gifted to everyone are going to be ripped out from under us with the departing characters. Its’ inevitable. I will be incredibly sad if Emma Swan is killed off to move the story forward. But I won’t be surprised. I’m not sure the writers gave us enough of a hook to pique our interest with the duplication of the original story at the end… the show felt very much done. I felt a sense of relief that it’s over. That I can finally stop thinking about and worrying about these characters. Before the finale, I was fully intending to keep watching – I like Colin O’Donoghue and the Character of Killian Jones so I am predisposed to continue…. But that ending, it made me feel a sense of ambivalence. I’m not sure I can be bothered re-investing without the guarantee of a decent return. If Emma was back, I would be back. No doubt. But with how I’m feeling at the moment, there will have to be some very interesting information released over the hiatus to get me back and they will have to tell us something, some crumbs, instead of this nonsensical evasive “wait and see” discourse.

#ouat stuff #ouat critical #anti-regina #anti-rumbelle

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fusrodie · 7 years

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6. A Kiss of Relief - for the pairing of your choice :D

Going through my askbox and holy mother of god, there was so many unanswered things. I am ashamed. Also I promised I wouldn’t write anything until I was done with the Fallout 4 DLCs but sometimes an idea hits and you need to grab it so here we go. I’m so happy I managed to write something.

Thank you for sending this, and sorry for taking forever! The pairing I’m going with is my Fallout OC, Sal, and @mininuked sweet Tato, Leilani.

Sweet Affectionate Moments Meme

The caps almost felt too heavy. A worn bag too big to fit in his closed hand, the payment for a job well done. Three hundred and seventy-five, counted one by one, tossed over the bar counter; the man on the other side seemed to be in no rush, double checking to make sure he wouldn’t get a bottlecap more than what they’d agreed upon. A smart move, all things considered: Sal would never rob him blind, too worried about his reputation to put his hands on money that wasn’t his, but he would always try and make his employer cough up some more caps if given the opportunity. Must have been why the man was so quiet, twirling the tips of his dirty mustache as Bruno checked the amount for himself, staring over the mercenary as if he’d never seen a more despicable creature. Quite ironic, that a man who’d paid another to cut down bandits would dare judge. But at the end of the day, the stares and huffs, disgusted tone of voice and deals done in shady corners, none of it mattered. So long as he got paid, whatever they thought of him didn’t matter.

“A pleasure doing business,” he said, raking in his hard earned bottlecaps, an amused smile on his face. A grunt was all he had gotten as a response, plus the brief tipping of a hat before the man turned around and pretended like the conversation had never happened. He followed not long after, no rush in his steps as he approached the barkeep, a handful of caps in his hand. Their exchange was silent, as it usually was - he’d push the money over, Vadim would accept it. A bottle for the road? Not this time, no, work to be done before the day is through. There are no goodbyes, they will be doing this again soon enough. The confident smile fades away after he walks out into the city.

Three hundred and seventy-five, two hundred and twenty three more before he can put his plan in motion. She knows nothing of it, or at least he hopes so; he had lied to her, too, when she’d asked why he’d been saving up so many caps lately. A small lie for a good reason, a small lie that would make her smile big. He could see it in her eyes the moment the words had left his mouth, the almost invisible turn of her lips, he had never managed to lie to her and certainly wouldn’t start now. But she had said nothing, amused but not suspicious, a quick nod and then she had buried her face in the crook of his neck like she did every night.

They didn’t speak of it again when he’d told her he’d taken on yet another odd job, escort snotty rich man from point A to B, wouldn’t take more than a couple of hours. She’d taken the old sniper rifle and slung it across her back, a smile on her face as she told him she would keep busy while he worked. A short scouting trip and nothing more, in order to become familiar with this unknown part of Boston. Jump across a few roofs, make note of interesting places, find a vantage spot from where she could easily see their camp. By the time he comes back she will be waiting, campfire lit and stew bubbling, she promises. Tomorrow they will make their way to Goodneighbor, pay a friendly visit to the Mayor, spend the night and then decide what they want to do next.

The thought of tomorrow makes him nervous, fingertips shaky and sweat dripping down his back. Tomorrow they will make their way to Goodneighbor, where he has spent all of his free time when she is away, wood splinters under his fingernails and splotches of paint he couldn’t wash off. He hopes she hasn’t noticed any of it, hopes she has no idea what it is he has been doing behind her back. Hancock had promised him he wouldn’t say a word, had even gone as far as helping him prepare the surprise. Had laughed at him aplenty, too, questioned his reasons for doing so much for a woman he’d refused to show feelings for. Had the legendary Salvador Sinclair come down with a bad case of the feelings? Sal never managed to come up with an answer.

He tried not to imagine her reaction as he made his way across the bridge and towards their camp, tried not to picture the expression on her face. Tried not to predict the words she would say, but it seemed keeping it all in check became harder and harder as he got closer to where he’d left her. He hadn’t stopped to think it through until recently - how bold he would seem, or how foolish he would seem, if it would please or offend her. The idea had come one sunny morning, after yet another night spent in a thin sleeping bag under a makeshift tent. It suited them both just fine, adventurous spirits that they were, but the risk of being ambushed was too great to ignore. Hotels could be pricey, Diamond City was too crowded, an empty home outside of a big city too difficult to defend. Hancock had given him the idea unknowingly, whining about how she’d always take so long to visit. That everything she needed was right there in Goodneighbor - good company, fun, Hancock himself. They could even set her up with a cozy place if she’d like. He could see how her eyes shined bright even when she said a pained no, she couldn’t, she wouldn’t accept it; maybe one day, when she’d saved up enough caps. He hoped she didn’t know he had been doing it for her.

His reasons were selfish, or so he told himself. After years of wandering the Commonwealth and never spending too long in one place, this would be the perfect opportunity: he’d fix her up a place, somewhere high where she could stare up at the night sky. Somewhere she could feel the sun first thing in the morning, somewhere she could be safe and sound, somewhere she could call her own. Somewhere big enough that he would fit a corner, weasel his way into something resembling the normal life he’d never had.

Tomorrow he would find out, he supposed, clutching the bag tighter, two hundred and twenty three caps more before the debt was paid. He shoves it back into his pocket when he notices faint smoke and cooling embers, no boiling stew pot, her bag nowhere to be found. A chill races down his spine when he notices the trail of blood leading where Leilani had told him she would go, hand reaching for the shotgun as he calls for her, voice hoarse as he tries to keep it low in order not to draw too much attention. Hesitant steps take him forward, tracking the splatters across the plaza and into the ruins of an old building, flashlight clicking on as he slows to a crawl and listens. He has never felt this before - this rush, this anguish. Had he come this far to lose her now?

“Lani?” He calls out again, alarmed when he gets a response this time. But it isn’t what he is expecting, a mass of decaying flesh running towards him in the cramped hallway, another hand creeping from under a door towards his foot as he tried to retreat but it is far too late. He braces for the pain as he pulls the trigger, the deafening sound of the shotgun pellet bursting out and then through flesh and bone and rotten wood. Sal almost loses his balance then, the gunshot blast rendering him deaf for a solid minute. He makes his way outside when he is sure the building is empty, cold sweat running down his neck as he tried not to think of the worst.

He is already under the moonlight when he hears it, shuffling, a pained moan. Feral bites are never a pleasant thing, but he will survive. Sal palms the knife on his hip, knows there won’t be enough time to kill the feral before it perches on him for a taste. What happens next surprises him - the barely audible sound of a suppressed shot pierces the silence, the bullet hitting its mark. It takes him but a second to understand, though a few more to spot her, dropping down a set of rusty emergency stairs to come meet him. She looks just like she did when he left her hours ago, unharmed, perhaps now a bit confused. He can tell she is about to ask him what is wrong when she approaches, worry in her features. “There you are.” He whispers when she is but an arm’s length away, and does away with the remaining distance a second later.

His arms are wrapped around her before she can say a word, his eyes firmly shut as he breathes a sigh of relief. A calloused hand brushes against her cheek absentmindedly; he plants a relieved kiss on her forehead before he can think it through. Reality hits him a moment too late. She stiffens in his embrace. Bruno is already rehearsing his apologies when he lets her go. He is surprised when he feels a gentle tug on his leather jacket, delicate hands flat against his chest and she comes in closer instead of pushing away. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he tells her, and the content sigh that escapes her is a good enough answer for him.

#virgil writes #fallout #sal sinclair #leilani calvino #other people's ocs #ash do we have a ship name for 'em #sal x lani #i wrote a thing!!! i wrote a thiiing!!#welseykels

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d-s-winchester · 7 years

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Boston General

(gif credit to the creator)

Part Three - Emergency

Master List

Pairing: Misha x Reader Word Count: 2,003 Warnings: language, medical stuff A/N: My writing schedule got completely thrown off and due to that you guys are getting part 3 early! I am still so overwhelmed by all the positive feedback I’m getting from this. I’m so glad you all like it. Title comes from Emergency by Paramore. Huge thanks to Nicole (@iwantthedean) for help with the medical stuff. If you’d like to be tagged let me know! Hope you guys like it! Anyway, feedback for this is awesome! :)

As you walked into the hospital the next morning you were more than determined to make that day better than the previous two. Remembering that you and Selene were being forced to work on separate services put a slight damper on your mood but you decided not to let it bother you. After rounds Dr. Padalecki put you in Dr. Collins’ service, yet again, and you forced yourself not to groan and roll your eyes.

The last thing you wanted was to be put in his service yet again. Unfortunately there was nothing you could do about it. Selene was placed with Dr. Ackles and the pair went their separate ways to check on their patients.

“Amanda Presley, eight year old female with mitral valve regurgitation. She is here for a valve replacement after presenting with fatigue, palpitations, and chronic cough. We are optimistic that these symptoms will resolve after the valve is replaced,” you summed up.

“She’s scheduled for surgery later today,” Dr. Collins added, addressing the other interns, “Dr. Ackles will be performing the surgery.”

The interns were all scribbling furiously in notebooks, trying to take down as much information as they could while Dr. Collins continued to talk. You watched as he explained to the patient and her parents what the surgery would entail and it amazed you that one person could be so kind and gentle with his patients and their families but so rude and harsh to his interns.

You pushed the thoughts from your mind as he finished his conversation with Amanda’s parents and walked with the rest of the interns out of the room. Everyone dispersed to take care of running labs and you were about to do the same when Dr. Collins stopped you.

“You’re off the case,” he stated once he was sure the other interns were all gone.

“I’m sorry? What?” you questioned, your blood beginning to boil.

It was like he had something against you. One screw up on your first day and all of a sudden it was like you were blacklisted. The entire point of being an intern was to learn and now you were being robbed of that chance.

“Do you need your hearing checked?” he asked, an amused smirk on his face, “I’m sure you heard me, Dr. Y/L/N. You’re off the case.”

“Why?” you asked, knowing he didn’t have to give you an answer.

“Dr. Hill is on Dr. Ackles’ service,” he stated, “and from “what I’ve heard the two of you have been split up so you can get your shit together. I’m not going to undermine Dr. Padalecki’s decision to keep the two of you apart.”

The smug look on his face made you want to punch him. You obviously knew you couldn’t do that, however. With your hands balled into fists at your sides your turned on your heel and stormed off. You needed to get as far away from him as possible if you were going to collect yourself enough to get through your shift.

It astounded you how angry the man could make you, but as he was an attending, you figured that was something you would just have to reconcile yourself to. You would just have to find a way to deal with the back and forth nature of his personality whether you liked it or not. Perhaps that's what surprised you so much that when he followed you into the stairwell and grabbed you by the arm, you jumped back a bit.

“Do you just follow all of your interns around?” you spat at him.

You thought you’d managed to get at least most of your anger out as you walked toward the stairwell but seeing his face just brought it all surging forward. He laughed at your statement, taking you by surprise.

“Clearly you have some sort of issue with the decision of your attending physician, Dr. Y/L/N,” Misha replied, somewhere between pissed off and amused. “Might I suggest you work that out on your own time, and in a more professional manner?”

“Professional?” you sputtered out. “I'm perfectly capable of being professional, Dr. Collins, when my attending physician isn't being a self-righteous ass! I'm an intern, I get that, but I'm not sure what in the hell I did to deserve such horrible treatment from you. Yes, I froze in the OR under a tremendous amount of pressure on my first day, having never operated on a live body before. I don't think that warrants being treated like an idiot!”

“Self-righteous ass, that’s a new one,” he chuckled, “and you’re right, you froze, forgive me for not wanting that to happen again, especially on a case as serious as this. It doesn’t make you an idiot, I’m just trying to cover my ass. Last thing I want is a kid dying on the table because you’re not on top of your game. Don’t take it personally, Dr. Y/L/N, people get kicked off of cases all the time.”

Despite still being furious with him you bit your tongue, deciding you had expelled enough of your energy on fighting with him today, and nodded.

“Are you going to reassign me then?” you asked, as politely as possible, “or should I go see Dr. Padalecki about that?”

“Talk to Dr. Padalecki,” he answered before turning around and walking out of the stairwell.

You let out a frustrated groan and ran your fingers through your hair as you jogged up the stairs, intent on finding Genevieve as quickly as possible. She wasn’t hard to locate and once you found her and explained your situation to her she sighed.

“I’m not reassigning you,” she stated, “he may not want you in his OR but I’ve got nowhere else to put you so you’re stuck with him.”

“But he kicked me off the case,” you pointed out.

“He did,” she nodded, “but I’m reinstating you. Just stay out of the OR and you’ll be fine. Monitor his pre- and post-op patients, stay on your best behavior.”

You sighed and made your way back to the pediatrics ward. If Misha caught you around there and gave you shit for it you would just have to explain to him that Genevieve had nowhere else to put you and hope for the best.

After you checked on all of Misha’s pre- and post-op patients you stood at the nurses’ station talking with one of the nurses. You was about to leave and take your lunch when all the alarms in Amanda’s room started going off. Without even thinking you told the nurse to page Dr. Collins and Dr. Ackles and sprinted into the room.

“Load her up with epinephrine, get me a crash cart!” you called, pushing the code button. “Starting compressions!”

The nurse administered the medication via Amanda’s IV while you worked to get her heart pumping again. The code team came in and began to ventilate Amanda while you waited for the paddles to charge.

“Clear!” you called out, and the word was echoed by everyone in the room. Amanda’s heart rhythm showed no pulse on the monitor, but after checking her carotid, you could feel a faint pulse. “Heart’s trying. Beginning compressions again.”

After another five rounds of compressions, you decided it was time to shock her again. The nurse charged the paddles, you made sure everyone was clear of your patient, and shocked her again.

Just as Misha and Jensen walked into the room, Amanda’s rhythm came back. As you stared at the monitor to make sure her stable vitals remained at a good level, the nurse continued to ventilate Amanda. Realizing that the nurse had it under control and the patient was stable you stepped out of the room, past Misha and Jensen, keeping your eyes trained on the ground -- too afraid to see the look on Misha’s face.

“Good work in there, Dr. Y/L/N,” you heard Misha say behind you.

You turned to face him, his comment taking you by surprise, you were sure he would be more than pissed at you for dealing with his patient after he kicked you off the case. He was standing there, arms crossed over his chest, a small smile on his face.

“Thank you,” you replied.

“Why don’t you scrub in on the surgery,” he offered, and your face lit up, “just to observe. Just because you saved Amanda in there doesn’t mean I fully trust you in the OR yet.”

“Of course,” you said, “I completely understand.”

“Her surgery is scheduled for an hour from now,” he stated, “go do whatever it was you were about to do before this happened.”

You nodded and started to walk away.

“Oh, and Dr. Y/L/N,” he said and you turned to face him once more, “don’t overthink it this time.”

He smiled at you before walking off to check on his patients. You tried to suppress the smile that was spreading on your lips but it was useless, you were grinning the entire way to the cafeteria. You ate as quickly as possible, not wanting to be late for surgery, and made your way to the OR.

As soon as you set foot in the OR you felt your nerves taking over again. You took a few deep breaths and reminded yourself that you were just observing, you weren’t going to be directly involved. You caught Selene’s eye from across the room and she winked at you. Even though you weren’t supposed to be working with her being able to be in the room with your best friend set your nerves at ease.

Why couldn’t it have been like this the last time? You thought to yourself as the rest of the doctors filed into the room. Dr. Ackles took his place, with Dr. Collins next to him ready to assist, and as soon as Amanda was completely under from the anesthesia, the surgery began.

As soon as you walked out of the OR you were stopped in your tracks by Dr. Padalecki. She looked more than furious and you could feel yourself turning red from embarrassment. You had deliberately gone against her orders and worked with Selene and you knew you were about to pay for it.

“And what the hell do you think you were doing in that OR with Dr. Hill?” she said.

“I...uh...Dr. Collins...he...” you stammered.

“Dr. Padalecki,” Dr. Collins said, coming to your rescue.

You hadn’t even noticed that he’d come up behind you.

“Any reason why Dr. Y/L/N was in your OR, Misha,” she said, clearly more than pissed off.

“I asked Dr Y/L/N to scrub in, and told her I would vouch for her with you,” Misha explained, “It's because of her that my patient made it to the OR and I felt it would do her good to be able to observe the surgery closer than in the gallery.”

Genevieve looked like she was at a loss for words. Her eyes flitted between you and Misha for a few seconds before she finally said anything.

“Fine,” she huffed, “but this is the only time you’re off the hook for this, Dr. Y/L/N. No more working with Dr. Hill. Understand?”

“Absolutely,” you nodded.

Genevieve nodded at you, happy that you were at least agreeing with her, and walked off to no doubt check on her patients. Misha turned to look at you, clearly about to say something, when Jensen called him over to go talk to Amanda’s parents and inform them that the surgery had gone well. He placed his hand on your shoulder, gave it a squeeze and smiled at you. You returned the smile as he let go of your shoulder and you watched him walk away.

You weren’t sure what surprised you more -- what had just happened between the two of you or the fact that you immediately missed the feeling of his hand on your shoulder.

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somethingsimilartosnow · 5 years

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back on my bullshit

hello tumblr

wow my online diary coming to a full circle here! Haven’t posted on this page since maybe I was ... 20? Well, hello, here I am, now 24, and life has HAPPENED. I just am so in need of a place to write down my thoughts, my feelings, my life happenings, so it’s not just all scrambled up in my head to spew at my therapist every other Tuesday. So therefore, we turn to the beautiful world of tumblr and my ~secret blog~. I once thought this was so edgy and risky and what if anyone found this (even though I wanted everyone to find it at one point technically) and now I just need a table to vomit my emotions all over!

Anywho - today I’m here to talk about, not Tyler, not Rob (DEFINITELY not Rob, but maybe I will write all about him when I’m ready to, just for my record keeping), but a man named Dillon. Now I met Dillon about 2/2.5 weeks ago on a dating app (gotta love hinge lol - yes past self, you did have to resort to online dating for a time at least!!! will keep ya updated as to how THAT goes) and we met up at Crooked Can on a beautiful, sweaty summer evening.

Now I should preface - the harmonious timing of everything falling into place whence meeting Dillon is just uncanny. We had exchanged some quick back and forth messages via this ‘app’ and he said he’d be back from Boston in about a week, and he’d text me when he returned to set up a time to meet. Pretty forward considering we had pretty much only talked about pineapple definitely belonging on pizza how he didn’t understand what I do for work. So I thought ‘uh ok!’ and didn’t stress. At this time, I was still so hung up on ROB (stupid! rob!) that I didn’t really think about Dillon much. Then occured That Fateful Night(TM) with Rob, at the Guest House, with a Hummingbird (this is my play on the game Clue! It’s funny - future me will think I’m a smug comedic genius). INSERT STORY ABOUT THAT FATEFUL NIGHT HERE - coming in a post soon maybe idk lol. OKAY ANYWAYS. Saturday morning, I woke up, went to Star Wars land - I have a cool job - and messaged Rob, being mature and wanting to talk things through. Several housed passed, no response, several more hours, no response, and next thing I knew it was Sunday morning and I had never heard from him. My heart clenched into a writhing ball of stress anxiety over the unknown - what did this man now think of me? What did I do wrong? What’s wrong with me? No, no, no - WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIM? But you know who I did receive a message from that same Saturday? You guessed it - Dillon.

Yes, this is still a story about Dillon and not about Rob, that’s where we pick up at the Crooked Can the following Thursday evening.

Having pretty much laid my anxieties about Rob aside, I was preparing to unfriend, unfollow, and detach myself from him that coming weekend. In the mean time, I primped and puffed myself to go meet this man, who I knew virtually nothing about except that he worked in marketing. I made myself a drink, drove to the bar, and 4 hours later, was fairly surprised. ‘Not usually the type of guy I go for, but very nice and obviously a good person,’ I thought to myself. In reality, I couldn’t believe I had gone on a second successful first date in a matter of months! Me! A dating girl! What is going on! So we exchanged some pleasantries as we walked to our cars, he hugged me and we parted ways.

Cut to about a week later, we both are looking forward to seeing eachother again and decide to grab some food, head to a rooftop bar, and just hang out. It’s easy with Dillon. I don’t stand waiting for him and wonder if he’ll like me that time or if he will freakout and want to leave. I don’t have heart-writhing-and-wrenching anxiety leading up to seeing him. It’s simply fun and exciting. (OMG HES SO CUTE TOO AND LIKE STRONG??? HE HAS MUSCLES??? I am HARDLY ATHLETIC so idk what is happening!!!!!!) So here we are back in downtown Winter Garden, munching away chatting eachother’s ears off, and just having a good ol’ time. He was suggesting I come running with him and his close friend/almost roommate that weekend (lol um no? no, running with a cute athletic boy is a recipe for embarrassment - and I already just naturally embarrass myself anyways so lets not put myself in a situation to force even more of that um thanks byeyeyye). I was busy that day luckily, but I invited him to come and see a 90′s cover band with my work friends and I at the House of Blues - next day. A little bold to suggest he’d want to see me two nights in a row, and I suppose even more bold just throwing it out there that I’d want to see him two nights in a row. I mean, we’ve only known eachother for a week, let’s not be crazy! He says ‘you know, I’m watching the UFC fight with my friend,’ and my heart softens a little and I understand he’s busy, has his own life, etc. etc. Then he says, ‘But let me see if he’d want to do that instead.’

CUT TO - INT. HOUSE OF BLUES BALCONY.

We’re dancing! We’re vibing! And we’re having such a great time! He is kind and sweet, he’s holding my hand and has his hand on my back and everything is beautiful. I have my left hand on his right shoulder, and my chin is resting on top of my hand. He says something snappy looking right at my eyes, and I’m looking at his and he quickly glances at my lips.

God, I love kissing. I love it almost more than any other physical thing. I love learning how other people kiss, I love that scratchy feeling of a man’s face at the end of the day all prickly against my skin. I love feeling their jaw and their tongue and their body against mine. I love the tension of it - what happens next? How far do we go tonight? How much can I make you want me? All of this relates to later so please consider this a footnote (1).

House of Blues is great - and I can tell I’m going to see him again. As we’re walking to get our uber, I say to him something silly about the stars and the universe and everything in life coming together and “intersecting” I say.

“Intersecting?” He repeats.

“Intersecting.”

“Intersexing? Rachael!”

I curl my lower lip over my teeth and say, “That...is NOT what I said.” Boldly, I decide to say to him, “You have something on the mind, Dillon?”

He giggles and takes a pause, “Oh I’ve got a lot on my mind. Most of them are about you, some of them aren’t.” The tension hangs in the air like a bioluminescent force stringing us together as we’re walking in front of the group. “Mainly how you didn’t take me to Star Wars!” He exclaims, cutting the tension with a knife, and we’re back where we started.

So that’s Saturday, we kiss goodnight and he drives him and his friend home. And here’s the good news, I do hear from him again.

Not being able to drink beer, as I inevitably get sick every single time I consume it for some godforsaken reason!, I tell him he must come to my house, retrieve the drink, and help me clear out my fridge. (holy crap this post is long, sorry future self, especially if it all goes south after i post this lol yikes crispies) So here we are again, on a Thursday evening, almost exactly two weeks from the day we first met (actually, exactly two weeks) and I am yet again primping and puffing myself to see him. This is yesterday btw!!!

I couldn’t believe how far I had moved from Rob - completely cutting him out and him doing the same to me caused incredible healing for my heart. I have to tread lightly though, because I now know how I react to things in relationships and how strongly they can affect me. That’s why I have my intuition, though. She guides me through all of the struggles in my life. Maybe it’s the holy spirit. Can’t confirm - will do more research and get back to you.

He arrives, and we eat dinner. Well, I really hardly eat anything because I’m talking so much or so intently listening to him talk that I essentially forgot the plate of food was right in front of me. He offers to do the dishes - which is very kind. I refuse, though, and vow to myself that I must do them tomorrow. I should probably also note that I had two drinks prior to him coming because I wanted to be loose and relaxed and have fun! In my own home. We’re hoping this doesn’t tumble out of control. Hahaha! Anyways!!!

First and foremost following dinner, he teaches me how to bat, weird. But funny, I hit out of the park and we high five and settle on the couch. We ramble and go on and on about the cars we drive, or the work we do, or the music we listen to. He loves Mumford and Sons, and he puts on the Lumineers as the score to our conversation. We watch some silly comedy shows that we tell eachother about, and I am giggle central (three drinks in at this point I guess?). I goto the restroom, and decide there while staring into my bathroom mirror, I have to ask him about the dating world and what he does and why he does it.

Dating is tricky - people are under no obligation to be with you and you alone. And with someone like Dillon, he is so outgoing and extroverted that I could only assume he’s fairly um, unmonogamous? Spelling? He spent 4 years in a bad relationship where the girl ended up as a lesbian at the end of it, so I can only imagine he just wants everything to lay low for a few years in terms of commitment and really tying yourself to someone.

So I flounce out of the bathroom and plop myself on the couch, my legs twisted up and I’m curled into a ball - which I still am surprised I can do with the size of my legs, but I suppose it makes me feel small in a comforting way. “So, I’m going to ask you a more serious question, and it’s kind of weird and I don’t want you to freak out,” I say.

“Ask away.” (Um this is all conjecture bc I’m a little tipsy at this moment so - not while typing this, I mean at the time I brought this up last night)

Essentially, I asked him (I could never be an author, my tenses are all mixed up) if he dates monogamously, what his vibe is right now with it all, if he is into me I guess?

This is going to get a little more mish mashed and less narrated because I kind of just need to write all of this part down to get it on the table and survey it all. I’ll let you know when we’re getting back to the fun narrated part.

He said he usually dates around, he can’t really commit to anything right now. His life is very busy and hectic and whatever, but that he is really enjoying hanging out with me. He said “You know, it’s not for like the sex or the attention, it’s to know people and meet people and make connections.” He kept saying, “I just don’t want you to get hurt, I don’t want you to get hurt,” and I kept saying “Okay, listen, I know myself, I know my boundaries, I know where to draw my own lines.” At one point he even said “It’s so sexy how well you know yourself.” THAT GOT MEEEEE. He said the last girl he dated, their 5 year plans really didn’t line up - she wanted to be married expecting children in two years (she was older - 28), and Dillon, being a 24 year old, young, attractive man was obviously not about that! He knew he has to end it because it wasn’t lining up. I said to him that I think it’s perfectly fair for him to date around, it’s perfectly fine for him to say all of this, and I didn’t say this, but I really was not at all surprised that he said any of this. Like I said, it’s fitting with who he is and his character. I guess I get nervous that he kept saying “I don’t want to hurt you,” or “I don’t want you to get hurt.” As though he feels he will inevitably do so or? Unsure. That’s what Rob kept saying on That Fateful Night(TM), which is why I feel a little triggered by it I guess. So the next question I asked, and I prefaced with “Just because I’m curious, and I want to know where you’re at, are you currently seeing anyone else?” He took a pause. “No, I’m not right now. I don’t know, when I met you something just clicked.” My heart fluttered. “You’re very different than the type of girls I usually date, but I like that.” I reassured him - you are no arrogant artsy jerk who’s going to just up and ghost me - so I also am in the same boat. I said to him that that’s kind of the beauty of it, and meeting new people that are so different than you and connecting with them is so wonderful. He said that his friend said something like “Wow, so you’re seeing this girl two nights in a row?” and he kind of was like “Uh, oh yeah I guess so!” kind of insinuating that there’s something special and different happening here. He said, “I’m enjoying myself, you’re enjoying yourself, obviously this is going well, let’s just take it slow.” I agreed, but uhhh you know. I’m trying to make out with him a little obviously and so somehow it got brought up, and I said, “I mean, we can just have fun, make out a little, right?” And he smiled, “Yeah, we can do that.”

Ok and I think this is where I’m going to try and be narrative again! Dang, am I a novelist chica?

I leaned in and kissed him, his scratchy face pressing into mine. It’s slow and intimate at first - and we fully know what we’re getting into. His mouth is minty and refreshing (almost like...he ALSO was wanting to makeout....hmmmmmmm.....) and he’s kissing me so wonderfully and I love the way his lips feel against mine. My right leg gently slides over his lap and his arms are wrapping around my waist and I go up. His hands move over my belt loops and around my hips and to my stomach, and mine are holding his jaw to mine and I don’t want him to ever let go. We look at each other and he’s smiling at me. I bite my lower lip. And then he says THE MOST DIRECT THING A MAN HAS MAYBE EVER SAID TO ME “I do want to have sex with you...” OH MY GOD?! “Ok, so what are we going to do?” I respond. He kisses me again, “We’re going to wait. I’m going to see you again.” “Okay,” I say and lean in and start kissing him again. I may at one point have said “I want to rip all of your clothes off,” but uhhhh we’ll deal with that another time hehe. I pull back and look at him, and startled he yells, “WOO okay time to go before anything else happens!” I get off of him and he puts his arm over his head, his eyes large and shocked. Quickly, he stands up, adjusts his shirt, pushes his hair back and says (again OH MY GOD) “Gonna walk downstairs with a boner!” OH MY GOD?!!!

“Sorry...” I say, obviously not sorry, obviously very satisfied with myself. “Okay, I’ve gotta go, I will see you. I need to leave now.”

We kiss goodbye, and then I holler at him down the stairs to come grab the beer his friend left at my place. He comes up and takes it, leans in and kisses me again, and down the stairs he goes.

And that’s it. That’s where we are now. Here I am this morning, letting the Lumineers serenade my creative work flow as I try to calm myself down from the um, excitement of last night. I need to be careful, and I need to protect myself. I am saying I can protect myself and I need to make sure that’s true. I’m not going to stop living my life the way I always do. Tonight, I’m seeing Erin, tomorrow, I’m getting brunch with my girlfriends and then going to game night at Kayla’s apartment, and Sunday, I’m going to church. This is my life and he is a fun addition that I’m so excited about. Oh my god!

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