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mrswolffs-blog · 8 months

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AUDACITY: Toto Wolff x Wife!Black!Reader

TW: CURSING, YELLING

The hectic race here in Monza had finally come to an end and it is now time for the post-race interviews. One by one, the drivers were asked questions about what happened during their drive and what they think could've been done differently; however, a specific question a young driver had pissed off the wife the Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 Team, Y/n Wolff as she march her way in front of the man, blocking the journalist's sight of him.

"Could you please repeat that question you asked?" Y/n asked to make sure she heard the man right. "I asked if he felt that since he hadn't been winning any races for Christian, if he thought that maybe his time here in Formula 1 is running out?" the man asked once again, this time with a bit of fear for what the shorter yet feisty woman had to say. "So, I wasn't hallucinating, I heard you correctly! Now let me educate you on something here since you seem to lack the knowledge! A driver's career doesn't just end because they've been constantly not making it to the podium, sure he hasn't been winning yet he did a damn good job at keeping himself in the top six and THAT should be praised considering the state of favouritism going on in his team. Next is to address the fact that yes, we all know that Christian Horner is an impatient man when it comes to certain things, however he would never be that foolish to let Sergio go and if he was, he would pay for it dearly at my hands as I would personally burn his headquarters and garages to ashes, not leaving a pinch of paper for him to start over from. Mark my words, as whatever it is that you call yourself, the post-race interviews are for questions about the race and shouldn't go to the extent of you putting doubts into any driver's mind. BE WARNED THAT THIS IS YOUR FIRST AND LAST WARNING AS YOU ARE WALKING ON THIN ICE SEEMING THAT I COULD'VE HAD YOUR CAREER ENDED ON THE SPOT. Now apologize!" She shouted in anger that someone who should've been able to be trusted to ask sensible questions was actually a complete idiot out for nothing but starting chaos.

"I'm very sorry Sergio, I didn't think my words would have been taken that seriously" said the man as he was on the verge of tears, out of fear that he almost lost his job due to a foolish question. "It's ok, no hard feelings. Just try not to make this mistake again or best believe she'll be back for you" Sergio said as he went over to hug the man, being in shock himself.

Toto had been doing an interview with his drivers, when George noticed what was about to happen and tapped Lewis on the shoulder. They both called for Toto's attention, where the trio along with their journalist, watched on as Y/n gave the visibly shaking man a piece of her mind. After that was done, the lady interviewing them decided to ask "So Toto, you've obviously seen what your wife had just done. What would your reaction be to her for this?" the journalist smiled as she awaited an answer from Toto who as himself looks genuinely scared. "My question is What the fuck do you all want me to do?! I'm not getting involve in that! The last time you all had me interfere, I was unable to sleep on my pillows for a month!" He replied in a panicked tone as Lewis and George were the only two who knew what his "pillows" meant. "Dude, you've got to be kidding me. You still call her breasts pillows? How comfortable could they be?" George asked in amusement that his boss was still obsessed with his wife's boobs. "Trust me Russ, they are very comfy, I've also added and new pair. The ass" Toto said making everyone, including the journalist laugh. "Alright, so I see you're unable to help the guy out, that's all the questions I have for you three. Have a nice rest of your day" the woman said as they replied, "Same to you."

Unbeknownst to them the cameras had still been filming LIVE and they manged to capture the response which sent the world into a spiral at the fact that such a giant of man's weakness was being able to sleep on his wife as it now became the biggest thing to tease him of whenever he did something he wasn't supposed to.

#toto wolff x oc #toto wolff imagine #toto wolff #toto wolff angst #toto wolff fluff #toto wolff x reader #toto wolff fanfic

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yonpote · 3 months

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another thing is like... under capitalism, business success and wealth begin to alienate you from others who don't have that. and that alienation can feed into greed, like why not keep investing and making business deals and buying expensive stuff? and no one around is really going to call you out because they are either capitalist hacks or maybe people who once struggled who now rely on you.

so like, I don't inherently expect much from creators like dnp who come into money. even though they probably have more financial freedom than many other creators because of all the tours, books, games, etc (because they are good at business!)

so like, as their fans who ultimately are their consumers, I think it's good to call them out, especially because they have shown before that they have good intentions.

am I expecting much from them? no. wealth can be corrupting and speaking out comes with risk to business/career interests. but they have a special relationship with their audience, as we're mostly all fellow queer and neurodivergent people with similar interests. so we can provide feedback and be the ones to try to ground them and be like "hey that wasn't cool please do better." stopping engagement with them and their content entirely doesn't really do anything to help, unless they did something they needed to absolutely be deplatformed for. stopping engagement is a valid personal choice, but when I see stuff that begins to resemble like 'they aren't being activists right now time for everyone to unstan' I'm like... if that makes you feel better, fine, but I would rather parasocially / affectionately be like "hey I expect more from you!" in a way that is constructive. which is something I would want to do with my friends, but the difference is, if my friends didn't change or try to then I probably would distance myself from them. Whereas Dan and Phil are entertainers we don't now irl, we have a different relationship with them. but compared to many other creators, they really do tend to be more sensitive to their audience (which has helped their success).

but so this time the (mostly leftist) phannies calling them out actually got them to do a fundraiser so that's cool! even if it's because of the backlash like, that's what the point of backlash is! we should want people to change behavior. not to just abstractly punish them, for something they could be unlikely to do without pressure. though hopefully it will lead to less instances of having to pressure them.

idk this brings up interesting stuff about parasocial relationships, the transactions between creators and their audience, and capitalism. so of course I had to rant about it for a sec lol.

thats completely true! thank u for the rant lol but yeah i dont want to come across as being like, NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING FROM YOUR FAV CREATORS it was more like, with dnp specifically we know where their heart is i guess so it can be unnecessary to call for whatever. BUT you're absolutely right in that they probably wouldn't have done a charity stream were it not for pressure from fans. and maybe this is ME being parasocial but i'd like to think that this isn't for damage control or performativism (i mean it is a LITTLE cuz any publicity is a little bit abt looking good) but rather like, putting their money where their mouth is basically! and showing to their core audience like hey we care about this thing too and we fully hear you.

i was thinking about this General concept wrt dnp because i think there have been other moments where dnp were called out about something or criticized for like their more offensive humor and they stopped doing that and educated themselves which is better than most creators who put up fakeass apology videos. ive seen a lot of ppl say they want dan to talk about and apologize for his racist and sexist humor (and honestly only asking dan but not bringing up that phil also had his share of racist jokes) but it's like. at this point what further could he say? he's not a 21 year old shit head anymore (and yeah good for you for being a socially aware 21 y/o in 2024 but that offensive humor literally was just the culture of that time period) and they both have SHOWN that they have grown and even talked about it in like the pinof react video where they talked about "yeah we bullied kristen stewart a lot cuz it was just popular to make fun of her and justin bieber and that really sucks that we did that" like they have changed and shown change! they do not need to make a grand apology statement cuz like if you wanna talk performativism then lets talk about the fakeness of basically every apology video on the internet????

sorry thats unrelated to what u were talking abt but it just made me start thinking BUT YEAH THANK YOU FOR YOUR HOT TAKES!!!!

#myrambles

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2willowlane · 5 months

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i'm genuinely very neurodivergent over harvey, and i'm very new to stardew. i just want to share my rants/rambles about harv here, just because i adore him. <3

at first, i actually didn't recognize him as a bachelor, even? i thought he was just like, purely an npc like pierre or whatever. i remember being on call with a friend of mine, and i asked who was the easiest character to romance—and my friend mentioned that harvey loved coffee. and... yeah, that's where it all started.

i love him, genuinely, and even though i may joke around with how goofy he can be at times, there's multiple things that make me grab onto him and want to just appreciate. in general, i love stardew's character diversity! harvey isn't the only one that's a victim to my affection (mainly emily, but i LOVE elliott too).

i think it's mainly how he reminds me way too much of myself. how he speaks matter-of-factly often, and with a bit of a mellow hint to it due to his age and occupation; i can relate to that. him being a doctor also reminds me of my more empathetic nature, and how i want to take care of others, and i've seen and been through various different experiences throughout my life due to that endeavor. him dreaming to be a pilot reminds me of how i want to indulge in other interests, but i have set limitations.

i don't romanticise him being a doctor; it's a genuine hard profession, and even if i do nor have any professional education on it, i do like his attitude on it. iirc, in one of his dialogues, he talks about how it makes such a difference in someone's day by just talking to them. i do wonder what a younger harvey would be like; considering with how he talks, it's obvious that he's been through different situations that have then built onto his maturity.

him being busy and all, i feel like harvey does love his work, and i also like (actually, i don't. he should take care of himself, but y'know what i mean) how he is TERRIBLE at following his own advice. harvey talks about using vegetables in a healthy diet, but he often eats microwave meals/convenience food. i LOVE how he finds life on the farm whenever he moves in with the player to be much more rewarding, considering he's able to actually use fresh produce (well, there's pierre's), have the time to do it all, and have someone to cook for.

i do like to believe that living up in the lil apartment in his clinic does get to him from time to time. i like how he doesn't talk about his loneliness a lot, and he opens up more about his vulnerable side on that whenever you do get closer/begin to date him. i think, to some people, it makes him sounds a bit needy—but i like to imagine it as if he has a relationship with everyone in the town, sure, but never got to the point of having a close friend. either it's just due to his more anxious nature, schedule, interests, etc.—he is simply the pelican town doctor, after all. i think he'd appreciate a little small talk now and then.

i do beleive he is anxious, but not outright shy or anything. i'm probably sure he was whenever he started out in his career, but i think he enjoys pelican town, since he knows what to expect from the townsfolk. i think with that predictability, he does seek a bit of comfort in just due to him liking a solid schedule (hc, but feel free to put your own interpretation on it). i think he can get very caught off guard by things he doesn't expect, like how everyone does, but it takes him a moment to get on track again if he's distracted.

i love his interest in planes so much. one of my favourite lines of dialogue from harv over here has to be whenever you're married to him, he talks about he's had a good day so far—he fiddled with his radio, worked on his model plane... i've forgotten the exact words (he only talks to me about daydreaming about the circulatory system anymore, but it's okay), but i think it's just me projecting—but i like to believe he simply likes to show affection by chatting about his interests!

harvey's grown comfortable with you to talk about something rather niche, and it just shows he thinks your safe to talk about the small things that make him happy. especially with how he does talk about everything, and wants the player to look at some of his work on models and the such. i dunno. i just live for the fact he views a "good day" to be indulging in his interests. literally me.

i don't believe he outright HATES his job as a doctor, however. i think it does make him feel important that he's able to provide for the people that he's able to feel at home with here in the valley, but what i've said earlier, i think it just kinda eats at him with the whole clinic business. i think him going up to his apartment with no one to really talk to about his day; no one to look forward to seeing—it's just something that's been at the back of his mind. i feel like it'd break his heart if he's learnt that someone wouldn't want to ever bother him due to his work. he'd want someone to understand that due to him being a doctor, he does get stressed easy, but he'd always try to find some time in-between all of those appointments for a chat.

i'll talk more, but i'm tired, and i don't know about what to exactly go on about. anyways, live laugh love harv. please tell me if i'm just silly and feeding too much into my headcanons, and i'm actually deluding myself from canon harv.

#💙#stardew #stardew valley #stv #sdv #harvey sdv #sdv harvey #harvey stv #stv harvey #stardew valley harvey #harvey stardew valley

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www-librarytearoom-com · 1 year

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Hey thanks for being so nice about my question, I just rly wanted to avoid conflict lol. But I actually do have a request! If you could write something this ishimondo idea I’ve had for a while that’d be cool. It’s basically mondo finds out that he needs glasses and when he finally gets them and can see properly he realizes wow kiyotaka’s like really beautiful. Thank you very much if you can and I hope you have a nice day

Absolutely no worries! Differences in opinion should never result in conflict in my opinion. ^^ I ABSOLUTELY LOVED YOUR IDEA !!! So I got to work straight away (or after I finished my actual work cuz I have a job lol ♡). I really do hope you enjoy it! It is a bit character building heavy but I love to do that at the starts of my posts.

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

Beautiful Best Friend

Fanfic Commision, 1,343 words.

Triggers: none.

Theme: Fluff, romance-ish? Hinted romance.

Additional notes: This is set their first year of Hope's Peak Academy, so before all of the Canon drama!

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Mondo hadn't always been all too aware of it. It had always just been a natural thing of him having to squint his eyes to read work, or bills, or even road signs… well, the ones that he bothered to read anyway. Everything in his line of sight had always just been a blur, he supposed?

Of course, the fact that he never really chose to do his school work, or read any books, or study any road laws that probably would've been useful as a gang member never helped. He hadn't really been given a reason to care for them; he had hardly even considered batting an eye for them.

After all, who had ever told him to?

He never really chose to show up at school. That was one of the least important things to him. School? Education? Why in the damn hell would he need that when he's part of one of an Ultimate Biker Gang?

All in all, his blurred eyes hadn't ever been a concern. He'd always just brush it off. Be it, 'oh I just didn't sleep well last night', or: 'those damn street lights always getting in my eyes!'. Mondo had never really taken the time to consider something might actually be wrong with his definitely out of the ordinary eyesight.

But, he hadn't ever bothered to care.

Besides, anything out of the norm - or his norm, which was big and tough - was a weakness in their career. He didn't have time for this fault in his eyesight! Always too busy with his gang, and the fun and stress that came along with it.

Well, that was until he enrolled in the most favoured and prestigious Hope's Peak Academy! The school that everyone in practically the whole world wanted to enroll in, wanted to experience. It was just too amazing to pass up, right?

He hadn't really expected to get in. But it was way better than any ordinary High School he could have attended. Because all he had to do? Practice being a Gang Leader! That's all he needed to pass, and what a win that was in his books.

Sure, yes, of course, or whatever. He wasn't expecting to make any friends along the way. He was planning on just sticking to his Gang, because his bros were his family. He didn't need anyone else. These damn privileged brats didn't need his attention.

Like, c'mon? Ultimate Fanfic Creator?! Yeah, Yamada was nice and all, but what did he actually do to be able to land a place in that school? Write a good ol' 'Harry Potter' fanfiction or somethin'? He couldn't wrap his head around that.

There were other students in his class, however, that were really cool! Naegi, despite being completely and utterly normal, was such a fun guy to hang with. There was so much personality built into that small little body. It was fun hanging out with him because he was practically compliant to every single thing. He enjoyed pulling him out onto bike rides and listening to the kid's horrified screams.

Togami was… well, he was definitely somethin'. Depending on what you were talking to him about, he could hold quite a decent conversation with you. But other than that? Nah, there wasn't much to him except for the fact that he was an entitled spoiled brat.

Mukuro was cool too, he supposed! Very scary though. She just always had this cold stare on her face, but if he ever made a sarcastic joke or a pun at her, she'd always shoot one back. That was a win from his books!

In comparison, there was Ishimaru. Someone he considered to be his ultimate best friend. They were practically polar opposites in regards to their talent. In a nutshell, a delinquent and a teacher's pet? It made no sense how they could get along so well, but they just found it so easy to flow together and find similar interests. Mondo tried his hardest to understand his bro's insistence on following every single rule, heck, he had even tried to read the rulebook with him! Ishi' always tried to understand his love for biking and going above the speed limit.

When he thought about his attempts to read the rulebook with him, however, he was reminded again of how hard he had to squint his eyes to even begin to depict some of the words.

"Mondo, are you struggling with something?"

When he finally looked up, it had appeared that Ishimaru had been calling his name a multitude of times to try and grab his attention. He hadn't even picked up on it. He was quick to smile though and brush it off.

"Eh, nothing to worry about, bro!" He started, leaning back in his desk chair and casually resting his hands at the nape of his neck. "Just wondering about my eyesight. It's always been rather blurry."

Ishimaru appeared to take this far more seriously than he did. "It has? You should see an opthamologist about that, bro. That doesn't seem normal."

Mondo had furrowed his eyebrows but ultimately brushed it off for the rest of the day. However, Ishimaru's words had apparently stuck in his head. After all, he had never even remotely considered going to see anyone about his eyesight! It had just become normal to him I guess?

Regardless of that, he somehow found himself outside of an ophthalmology clinic two weeks later, a new pair of glasses in his left hand. He wasn't about to put them on in public - he could hardly even imagine doing that! If someone who knew him recognised him, what would they think?

At that thought, he shoved the glasses in his pocket and began to make his way back to the academy. Mondo couldn't risk anyone seeing him outside of the clinic. His reputation would be ruined!

It was odd how nervous he felt to show anyone his new glasses. Though even he could admit that he had never seen so clearly whilst wearing them. Perhaps he could go back and ask the doctor dude (it was so hard to pronounce ophthalmologist and he stood by that), to get some contacts so that way he could see all the time and not have to risk his reputation.

The first person he decided to show them to, was Ishimaru. As they sat together in his dorm, he put his glasses on to show his bro and…

Woah.

When did Ishimaru ever look that beautiful?

He felt the heat begin to rise to his cheeks, and all of a sudden he felt all sweaty and clammy. Basically to the point where he had to shrug off his long Biker jacket.

He couldn't have problems with his hearing too, man! But everything Ishimaru was saying to him, compliments of his glasses, he noted. Everything was going straight through him as all he could pay attention to was the handsome appearance of his best friend.

Did that just happen overnight? He didn't know, but he felt himself rubbing the back of his neck with sheepishness as he tried to stop himself from admiring the boy in front of him.

"Mondo, are you even listening to me?" Ishimaru deadpanned eventually, and Mondo zoned back in.

"Yeah, yeah. Say, 'Maru? What say you and I pop down to the cafe you like this weekend?" Mondo managed to ask after a sudden confidence - or adrenaline? - boost. Of course, he had always found everything about his best friend to be amazing, but being able to see the absolute beauty of his best friend hit the nail dead right on the coffin.

"You mean like, as a date?" Ishimaru quizzed him, his red eyes meeting his dead on. He was always able to do that, keep constant eye contact. Sometimes to the point of discomfort for others: never for him.

"I mean, yeah. That'd be cool." He responded and smiled, one of his softer smiles.

Yeah, maybe it didn't just have to be his gang that could be family.

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

I really do hope you like reading it as much as I loved writing it! I hope it was to your tastes, and I'm so sorry if it wasn't. I'm kinda new to commissions O-O

Love, Anastasia ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

#writing #lgbtq #writing comissions #danganronpa #fanfic #ishimondo #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #hopes peak academy #commission #gay men #men loving men #danganronpa mondo #ishimaru x mondo #ishimaru kin #makoto naegi

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loregoddess · 1 year

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Ok I'm curious, could you elaborate on art school education when you have the time?

Mainly because my friend went to art high school and feels she wasted all the years there while I've been self-teaching myself for a few months by just messing around, so I was wondering just how different the two approaches are :0

Oh, I have lots and lots of thoughts on art education. I do feel that I need to preface this with the whole "my experience is not universal", bc all my feelings about art and art education stem from my own experiences of being self-taught and then getting actual formal college degrees in art.

The shortest version of my long rant, under the cut, is that there isn't a superior way to learn art. With art education, you run the risk of getting bad teachers who don't teach the subject well, and you can also run into teachers who aren't open-minded about approaches to art that differ too much from their own--the flipside, of course, is that there are sometimes amazing teachers who can challenge you to try new things you'd never had thought of on your own, or who have already made a lot of mistakes that they can tell you about so you don't have to make them yourself. With being self-taught, you have to figure out everything on your own, and sifting through online tutorials or reading books can be difficult to find "actually useful and well-explained" advice, but you do also get the freedom of doing literally whatever you want and really focusing what you learn based on what you're actually interested in. Each has it's pros and cons, but neither is technically better or worse, per se, although education of any sort comes down a lot to each person's situation in life, as not everyone has access to education or even the tools for making art.

For the long, long expansion of my thoughts and some of my personal experiences with art education specifically...

In short, I'm technically entirely self-taught, despite holding two different art degrees. Aside from some feedback I got from my 8th grade art teacher (who had agreed to look at my hobby art in her own spare time outside of class), I basically taught myself to draw entirely on my own, using various "how to draw" books, online tutorials, and just a lot of general experimentation and continued drawing on my own. Which meant I made a lot of mistakes, or didn't try out certain things, or got frustrated bc I couldn't figure out how to do something, but overall I had a lot of fun. The actual art classes I took in middle and high school? Well, I took a life drawing class in high school that taught me how to draw from life, a skill I never would have acquired on my own bc the process for learning that skill requires a lot of patience, and personally, I find life drawing to be extremely boring. My high school art teacher was also allowing blatant copyright infringements to occur in her class, which was something I learned years later when taking a media law class in college to learn about copyright law specifically, so I guess I learned what to not do as a teacher if I manage to become one, but I didn't learn a whole lot of actual art skills or even really improve my art in any significant way. I never actually learned anything like the elements of art and how to use them, or color theory, or any of that, in class or even on my own, but because I was constantly looking at lots of art online, and making art on my own and experimenting with new things, I ended up learning all of the "essentials of art" intuitively, sort of like how children learn the grammar of whichever language(s) they grow up speaking without learning the actual formal grammar of the language. Which I think a lot of artists actually do as they continue to make art, even if they don't realize it.

Anyhow, moving on. I personally really enjoyed my undergrad illustration degree. Now, to be fair, if someone was willing to pay me to attend college for the rest of my life as my actual career, that is what I would do bc I love learning, and I love the challenge presented by college courses. But do I feel like I learned anything new about art in those classes? Yes and no. I took a lot of art history classes bc I had never had any art history before college, and found I loved the topic a lot. The life drawing classes I was required to take felt like a waste of time bc I already had that skill from the one high school class, and I spent most of those classes fighting the teachers about why we should have less nude models (bc nudes are super easy to draw from life, but clothing is very, very difficult, and I wanted to learn how to draw clothing as a challenge bc I was bored in those classes). I spent one class teaching the entire class how to use Photoshop bc the teacher's method was absolute BS and I could do everything faster and easier than what we were being taught bc I had been using the program for years (the teacher even joked about how I had hijacked the class, to which I'm still not sure was meant to be friendly or malicious). The "Anatomy for the Artist" class I took was one of the most useful classes I've ever taken, and really helped me with drawing not only humans, but anything with a skeleton and muscles, since the teacher's approach made it so I learned the skill of using actual real-life anatomy as a means of creating art from the knowledge of anatomy (and I lucked out for this class bc I had an adjunct who was there to cover the actual teacher who was on sabbatical, and from what I heard from classmates I would have learned nothing from the usual teacher's approach to the class; I hope the teacher I did have found a good stable job bc she was amazing). Most of the actual core illustration classes helped me improve my art a great deal, but not bc they taught me anything--more so, it was that I had to create a lot of art for them, and find creative solutions to the challenges the projects would present (there were lots of "illustrate this abstract concept without using x, y, or z imagery" or "create an illustration within these specific parameters" which really required me to think about how to plan and go about completing the final project). Somehow, the actual "foundations classes" that I took--where I was supposed to learn things like design theory, the elements and principles of art, color theory, etc.--well, let's just say the teacher was on his way to retirement, and didn't teach any of that really well, so I still ended up going through my undergrad more or less on intuition and the art skills I had cultivated on my own. Mostly, college art classes were useful in helping me to improve my art, not because I learned new things (although I did learn some new things), but rather because I needed to make lots and lots of art in a relatively short time, and making art constantly is the fastest way to improve.

That all said, I still never really got the point of things that I kept seeing or hearing as common art advice. For example: "Use references." Okay? What does that mean? What does that look like? How do I do that? I was never taught that once, and it was only partway through college that I figured out that people meant "look at a photo of a real person to figure out a pose or something" and not "learn about the subject you're trying to draw so you have an understanding of that subject that allows you to draw it from your imagination how you want". And honestly the former advice is useful but...only useful to a point, so I'm kinda glad I never learned it bc it would have stunted my development and presented a roadblock. In either case, I was never taught how to use a ref or what "use a ref" meant in my formal art education, and by the time I figured it out on my own, my repertoire of art skills made the advice moot.

So what's all the long and short of this? Is art education a sham and useless? Well, not entirely, but maybe sort of. It really comes down to which teachers are teaching the subject, and how they do it. I only had a handful of art teachers who were really able to get me to think about art differently and push me to learn more and improve. But I also had a friend in my undergrad class who had never drawn in his life and he found most of the classes super useful bc he wasn't coming in being self-taught and already drawing. We were at different places in our art journeys, and so we got different things out of the college classes.

I do feel overall that the focus of my college classes was more productive than the lack of focus from my high school classes. Would I tell everyone who wants to get better at art to go to art school? Hell no. I got a degree in art because I love it, and because I had hoped to work as a video game concept artist (for which one does need at least a BFA to get hired by most companies). Of course, by the end of my degree I had figured out the video game industry in America was absolutely not a place I wanted to be working for my own health, but my frustrations with how my art education had been structured, paired with the fact that I spent a few classes actually teaching my classmates things, made me think I might make an okay art teacher. But even my wanting to be an art teacher still comes from a place of deep love for art. For those who just want to take up art as a hobby, self-taught is fine, and sometimes it will be better than getting stuck with a bad teacher who'll crush the enjoyment of art. Yes, I think a well-structured art course could help someone learn art and become confident in their art, which is part of the reason I want to try teaching it (esp. bc it took me years to learn some things that a good teacher would have just like, covered in a core class), but like...self-taught or school-taught, there isn't a superior way to learn art. They're both just very different approaches.

#I think I got a bit off-topic from your question at the end there so uh...sorry if this doesn't really help answer your question #I maybe should have slept on this before answering but also I'm like #really really passionate about art and Will Not Shut Up About Literally Anything Art-Related #a few of my coworkers have been subjected to hour-long rants about art bc they asked me one (1) thing #anyhow I think art education CAN be good it's just...like any education it really relies on good teachers and a good curriculum #and yet being self-taught I know it's entirely possible to learn all the basics needed for making art on your own so #like #yeah #I dunno #anyhow #I love art a whole lot and I do not regret going to college and getting two different types of art degrees #no matter how useless certain members of my family think they are #(to be fair graduating in the middle of a pandemic was not in my future plans)#anyhow if you want to just mess around making art and having fun that is honestly one of the best ways to learn art #actually just messing around and having fun is the best way to learn most things #so...yeah!#unsuspecting-person #I still don't have an ask tag

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alak-tool-the-dorkblade · 6 months

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Whenever I've heard people talk about having a moment of clarity, I always imagined it as sort of fanfic-style, with eyes widening and a small 'oh' of understanding.

A few weeks ago, I had my moment of clarity, not for the first time either, but this time it really sank in, and it was nothing like fanfiction. It was ugly; I was crying and trying to forget what I had realized because it meant that I was going to have to upend my life, that I was going to have to feel emotions I hate, and that I would have to hurt the ones I love.

I've spent the last month pretending it didn't happen, but it's been bubbling underneath the surface, throwing me into disordered thinking of self-loathing and suicidal ideation, where it was literally all I could think about for days on end. I haven't been able to go on walks, bike rides, or anything that leaves me alone with my thoughts.

I've self-medicated with low-dosage edibles, but that was just slapping a Band-Aid on an open wound.

It came to a head last night after two straight days of suicidal ideation. I opened the door to the possibility of returning to my home country, and I don't think I've ever felt so relieved.

I know that I'm going to have to deal with adversity, that I'm going to have to do a lot of hard work to get myself back to where I was before I moved.

The last time I had one of these 'realizations' was near the end of 2017, and it came with an emotional breakdown as well.

In early 2018, I went home for a month, and I felt so alone. I was curled up on my brother's couch, crying, and missing everyone I had left in California.

I swore that I wouldn't leave again, that I would do my best to always stay in California, where I was comfortable and content.

I think one of the differences between now and then is that I am more emotionally mature. Another difference is that I am not in constant agony from having my nerves compressed between two discs. The pain will still show up, and I need to take breaks, but it isn't as bad as it used to be, which I felt made me dependent on my Californian family

I'm going to visit my brother in December and see if that feeling comes back because no matter where you go, there you are.

Am I what is making myself miserable, or has it been my situation?That I've been trapped in a dead-end job with no room for advancement? My visa doesn't permit me to go to school (the cost of post-secondary education in the US doesn't allow it either); it doesn't permit me to apply for all sorts of benefits, nor does it allow me to apply for a green card.

I've been static for the last decade. I've certainly had emotional growth, but nothing else. I haven't been able to step forward or backward. I can move laterally, but I can't grow in any way (except in weight).

It's only been a day, but I've felt so much lighter. I've been thinking about all the things I can do back in Canada: go to the doctor and get my spine looked at, have a place to myself, enjoy the cold and snow, go to school, and start a new career path. I feel like I am regaining control.

I'm afraid I'll end up alone in the dark, crying for my California family, because I do love them, but I can't just tread water anymore; I need to swim towards the shore.

P.T. Barnum said that comfort is the enemy of progress, and he's right. I've been comfortable and content. I've been lazy. I've been happy to do nothing, except I don't think I've actually been happy. I've enjoyed not working my tail off for a boss that doesn't appreciate me and pays me a pittance, but now it's time to be responsible again. I need to see my family, visit my grandmother before I no longer can, get back into shape, and make a change. I want to help and advocate for people; I want to talk to whatever MP I will have and try to make a positive change somehow. I'm ready to be uncomfortable again.

When I had my moment of clarity last month, I couldn't imagine ever feeling relieved or excited; I thought I would only be scared.

I cannot emphasize just how chilling it is to have a moment of clarity; it feels like jumping into a frozen lake. There's the initial shock as it hits you, but then you're left shivering and trying to recover from the shock.

I hope I won't have another moment of clarity once I've moved back.

#personal #journal entry #cw suicide mention #cw drug use mention

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dzpenumbra · 11 months

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5/28/23

Lots of progress made on the skull. :)

I don't really know what to do for the rest of it yet, still kinda feeling it out, but I'm really happy with how that turned out. Plenty of room left in the middle for that design when I figure out what I'm going to do.

I really built up that piece in my mind because... it's one of a kind. And very permanent. That was the skull of a living being, a soul, an individual. And ink is super permanent, no room for fuck ups. And it kinda got me.

Weird... how someone who spent a good 3 years of their life pursuing a tattooing career (only to be backstabbed by their own artist...) had hesitation and difficulty starting an ink piece on a non-living canvas. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

I remember doing my intensive apprenticeship thing so vividly. The most memorable being matching tattoos I did on a mother and daughter, on the tops of their feet. And they came out great, I really didn't have much hesitation with it either. In fact, I was the first to volunteer to ink a person for the first time - and inked one of my teachers. And don't get me wrong, there were nerves... but not this kind.

I guess that's more reason to keep doing pieces like this. It's a really important reminder that... everything is permanent. And every piece is one-of-a-kind. And... this is a tough one for the logical, controlling brain to really accept... there is no such thing as a fuck up. Not in art.

You'll always get people who argue that. I'll even argue it with myself. But man, if you can actually get yourself to accept that? It's so fucking liberating. There is no such thing as a fuck up. It's just... something different. If I intend for a brush stroke to look one way and I sneeze and it goes flying off in a different direction? That's simply... part of the piece's character, and as the artist, it's up to you to decide what to do with that. As a musician, if you're in the middle of an improvised solo and hit a D# when you're going for D? It's up to you, as the musician, to make that work. To make it make sense.

And here's a little hack. To any of you interested in nourishing your creativity. PRACTICE THAT. Practice rolling with the punches. Practice making it work. Practice improvisation. Practice the fundamentals too, if you want, I mean... it's all really whatever you want to do when it comes to visual art or music. You can go your whole life and never learn theory or learn how to read music, plenty of people have. You can be a legendary artist and never study perspective or anatomy or shading or anything. Study what you feel you need, what pulls you in. That adds tools to your toolbelt. And then... you pull those tools out to improvise. But if you don't know how to improvise, or you don't allow yourself to improvise? The tools are useless. And you go "man, I spent years training... what for?!"

It's the jazz approach, I guess.

I feel so blessed that I was introduced to stream of consciousness and improvisation at a very young age - around 16-17. And, interestingly enough, it was because I had failed an English class. XD And a history class! And history was my favorite course! The history teacher failed me, and also... somehow, even though it was against school policy... benched me all season in basketball, my favorite sport at the time... and I really have no idea why to this day. So they actually tried to flunk me out of high school, but I ended up in some special education program... which really kinda fucked up my head, to be honest. Just because someone is struggling in school doesn't mean treat them like they're broken and threaten to throw them out of school, that's super fucked up. But honestly, it ended up being one of the best things that ever happened to me. Because my english teacher at the special education program, he could tell I was just... bored... and completely uninterested in the bog standard "read 50 pages a night" english memorization and recitation grind. Because I got my highest grade of all time in Creative Writing. So... he introduced me to the Beat Poets. And gave me a copy of The Dharma Bums, that I still have over on my bookshelf. And it changed my life forever.

I hope I get to sit down with him and share my gratitude for that someday. I'm sure, as an educator, that would bring him so much joy.

So yeah, I caught up on sleep which is dope. But that meant a late start to the day. But I got a lot of work on the skull done. And the whole day was basically watching RP streams and working on that.

My jasmine is really close to blooming, which is really exciting. The buds are getting really big and changing color. I really wasn't expecting it this soon! I'm gonna have to go take care of my plants pretty soon here before I head to bed, the sun is pretty much fully up at this point. I'll squeeze in a tarot reading first before I go.

First Position - Past - Three of Cups, inverted (Celebration, calling in good fortune, joy. Social gathering, a heartfelt belonging in a community.) Second Position - Present - Queen of Wands (Warm, dedicated, confident, optimistic. Focusing inward to harness creative energy.) Third Position - Future - XIX: The Sun, inverted (Hope, clarity, confidence. Success, fulfillment, revelation.)

Alright, this one is a bit tricky at first glance. Again... inversions always make things messy for me. But I'm gonna try to just trust my gut and see what I make of this. The origin of the thread is the "party card", which is a very clear image to me, especially given how rare it has been in my life. But... it's inverted... So... something from my past that inhibited my ability to be part of a close-knit community? Or maybe... the ripples of a close social event gone wrong... That led to the Present, where my introspection and introversion are basically perpetual. The Queen of Wands, my first time seeing it, felt super relatable when I drew it. It really does often feel like all of my time and effort is spent on introspection in an effort to nurture inner creative growth, and stimulate creative expression. And this trend... in the Future... can lead to... a blockage in fulfillment. This is tough to see, and a little hard to read. The Sun is supposed to be a really nice card to see, clarity and success, but inversion (in how I tend to read cards) means blockage or dysfunction. Chaos vs. Order. So... what I'm getting from this is... some serious dysfunction from partying led to a deep introversion and creative growth... but... if I continue on that course, it will not lead to success or fulfillment. I will be missing something. Hmm... I wonder what that missing part is... could it be... the only other inverted card on the board? Could it be... a social life? Social belonging? Being part of a community?

Getting pretty big deja vu right now. :) I wonder how many thousand times I've come to this realization. XD Balance is really important. And as much as I'm obsessed with work work work and self-improvement and all that shit... I miss just having some laughs with friends. I miss going on a walk by a river or on a beach and just casually chatting. I miss playing Jackbox. I miss throwing back some ciders and smoking a hookah and playing Phasmophobia or Space Engineers. I miss getting high and playing Wrecking Ball in Overwatch.

Creativity and self-expression are crucial for me. Self-improvement and self-care are super important. But man, life isn't all work work work all the time. So yeah, that was a helpful reminder. Maybe I should reinstall GTA V and hop on that RP server and just go dick around with people. Who cares if they're not good at RP, I'll carry. I have some ideas.

I had one character I kinda wanted to play named Jack Lyer. And his whole thing is... a riff off the 90's Jim Carrey movie Liar Liar... So the first thing I was going to do was go to the hospital and report to them that I just got into the city and my doctor told me I need to let them know and get my records transferred that I was in a severe car crash and suffered major brain damage, and a byproduct of that damage is that I was incapable of lying. Set the foundation of the character with a physical record that can be verified if needed, so I don't have to backfill that if people try to RP check me. I figured a character that is biologically incapable of lying could lead to some really funny interactions since crime is everywhere and it's such commonly known thing that you don't talk about it. So if anyone asks him anything, he has to tell the truth without hesitation. I like the premise, but I'm a little afraid it might be a bit tacky, or it might just get my character perpetually killed... but like... if he is... he's just going to tell the hospital and the cops literally everything that he remembers. XD I don't know, it could be fun.

Another character idea is a really super friendly guy who latches on to the first person who befriends him, and very gradually he starts to change his appearance to look exactly like that person. Very subtly though, like... one article of clothing at a time... subtle gestures, like imitating the way they stand. Stuff like that. Maybe even spying on them and following them around and shit. So, after days of (hopefully) unnoticeably gradual change, I end up looking exactly like that person. And if they ever confront me on it, I become a complete asshole, gaslight the fuck out of them and find someone else to repeat the process.

It's a start. I'm still tempted to go back and reboot my only character I really sunk time into - Raymond Holmes - who, during the in-game day, wanted to be a YouTube stuntman, but by night reverted into the mental capacity of a 7 year old child. If I do bring him back, I'm bringing him back without the personality flips, just child-mode. But... I'm just on the fence about playing a mentally handicapped person. I don't know, maybe I'm just reading too much into it. Being stuck in a child-like state as a mid-40's adult is very clearly a mental health problem... at least it's very clear to me. And... I was always very... direct with that. Like... this dude is not just some quirky goofy idiot character, this trait of his has very clearly dark roots that he really did not like talking about. And I treated it very directly like an arrested development thing, I just acted like a child in an adult's body, like I was playing an actual child. I stopped playing because the other players were kinda doing fucked up things, and not even hesitating. People just kept giving me booze and cigarettes and weed, and getting me in really dangerous situations. And it really just... made me uncomfortable. Like... it wasn't really done in a funny way, it was very 1 to 100 and very like... high school bullies at a party getting the house owner's little brother drunk until he almost ends up in the hospital and thinking it's funny... kinda vibes... So yeah, I mean... I feel like I could play someone with a severe mental health problem like that properly, and accurately... and respectfully... but I don't really trust others to interact with him as such, and yeah... that turned me off of RPing for a while.

Anyway, it's getting late. Good progress on work and glad to have a bit of a new direction. I think RP is the way for now, if I can find a good place for it. The search continues...

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of thoughts #stream of consciousness

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magicalara · 1 year

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I've finished ouran and I have 2 questions

1. (unrelated) but have you ever tried Kraft Mac and cheese because I bought some the other day from this random shop, idk it was imported or something and why is it violently orange??

2. The ending to ouran made me cry for some reason, what do you think the club would do once like honey and Mori came out of high school and they slowly all grew out of the club? How close would each of them be to eachother?

I mean obviously life gets busy with all of them. No doubt Haruhi has a flourishing career in something or other and Kyoya is obviously busy. I'd like to see the twins mature a bit and actually gain a bit of independence from eachother and branch out to different things. Maybe they'd meet again after a few years and find out what changed about them.

(Or maybe they didn't know about Haruhi, Kyoya and Tamakis relationship until now)

Also do you think any of them would eat the violently orange Mac and cheese I ate

Anyway Ouran over, Bsd next... I sense a storm coming....

And yea tag me as Briccy if you like! I don't really have a preference.

HI BRICCY

Okay first question:

Yes, I have had kraft mac n cheese lol. To make it short, sweet, and simple: it's violently orange bc ✨chemicals✨ This is America after all and it seems that that is our main ingredient to..well a lot of things. But also I don't like Kraft or even the god forsaken Velveta because honestly I can make better with minimal things I have in my house lol

And yes, Tamaki probably saw the orange cheese noodles online and proceeded to buy like five packs for him, Kyoya, and Haruhi to try and then proceeded to send them to everyone as like a random gift or something idk. Whatever the case may be, Tamaki started the idea and Hikaru always keeps some at home as he liked it the most.

Putting a read more on this bc it got longer than expected 💀

QUESTION TWO:

It made me cry the first time I watched it too lol then again i was also neck deep in crisis and impending debt bc my college didn't process my scholarship right and it was a MESS but that's a story for another day

I think that it isn't until Tamaki and Kyoya graduate that certain things drift off. Tamaki being at the center is, imo, what really holds the group together and him graduating is probably what hurts it the most. Obviously with Haruhi there, at least her and the twins' last year won't be void of Tamaki, but I think it's void of everyone else and that includes Kyoya. I'll explain further:

Honey and Mori as a duo stay close no matter what; they're family and best friends and Mori's loyalty will not have him leaving Honey's side outside of educational obligations. Even the businesses (I say lightly given what it really is) of each of their separate families is close enough to where they can probably work together on a lot of things. But when it comes to the others, sure they keep in touch separately but after Tamaki isn't physically at Ouran to head the club, there aren't a lot of group activities to do anymore. I think Mori and Hikaru keep in touch the most outside of Tamaki's mandatory group bonding and zoom activities and Honey and Haruhi with the same idea.

Kyoya, especially once he's graduated, isn't full into the whole calling and texting thing so if they don't reach out to him, he's not gonna remember to reach out to them lol. He cares, he's just busy with the whole family business thing. I want to think that his father probably sent him abroad too for at least a year during his studies and that caused a bigg rift as time zones really limited communication. Regardless, Tamaki always made sure to text him everyday, even just a simple good morning or good night and a reminder to drink water and sleep. Haruhi would try and message at least once every two or three weeks and they'd have long calls every other month to catch up. He only really speaks to Honey and Hikaru at group events but plays games on his phone like the farming game thing (HayDay?? is that what it's called?? idk but the thing where you can send shit to friends and all that) with Kaoru and Mori. Kaoru also calls every few months and they text like once every other week if they both remember.

I could make a whole post on the KyoTamaHaru relationship starting and honestly I just might bc, like I said before, after graduating, he kinda goes off and so obviously the relationship can't start then. I wanna say it starts at least three years after Haruhi graduates when Kyoya comes back for a longer period of time and Tamaki welcomes him back with such open arms that he both did and didn't expect and it's just a rush of feelings and he gets closer to Haruhi than they ever were now that they can have their deep talks in person and they end up feeling like home and fuck now I have to make an actual post about this.

Anyways, the twins try and text everyone equally but end up talking to Haruhi the most jointly and Mori (Hikaru) and Kyoya (Kaoru) the most separately. When it comes to university, they probably start at the same one to keep the theme of twins going strong but after like a year and a half or so, they find their own wildly different interests and probably split off. It was emotional for them and so hard at first, but they both were able to grow into their own persons as a result of it more than they could've if they just did different majors at the same universities.

As for Haruhi, she does her best to text everyone when she can, but doesn't stress about it. Her and Honey go on little outings to cafes and stuff and Mori will come along when he can every so often, but that's the extent of that. Outside of Tamaki at first and then adding on Kyoya later, though, the twins are who she talks to most. Either it's the three of them in their group chat or them separately, but those three are always. texting. each. other. She was one of the first people to get super close to them, after all. Omg can you imagine their grad photos wait I think they'd be so cute gasp waittt

Last but least there's Tamaki. He's planning all the reunions and has a stockpile of ideas for outings that they have AT LEAST once a month. Not everyone can go each time, obviously, but he still makes the effort to plan them. He has a rotation system for texting the twins and Honey and Mori too: every other day he texts one of them and then he's basically talking to them once a week. The only exceptions are Haruhi and Kyoya but he sees Haruhi nearly everyday so like duh and I already said about him texting Kyoya everyday so yeah.

All in all, Kyoya's the worst at keeping in touch, Tamaki is the one who talks to everyone the most, and Haruhi is the best out of everyone when it comes to giving enough time in between while still definitely caring (though they all care about each other regardless)

BSD hehe 😈 I can't wait to hear about certain reactions from you, and I hope you like it. I diced in head over heels to the point where I bought all the novels like a week after I started watching the anime lol but I've read already 6 of the 8 total and they are so so good.

#em answers #briccy :D #ouran highschool host club #ouran high school host club #kyoya ootori #tamaki suoh #haruhi fujioka #takashi morinozuka #mitsukuni haninozuka #bro i blanked on honey's first name so bad just now holy shit #i was trying to remember with the scene where mori like takes his bag when he has the cavity and i just #could not remember #but i got it in the end so we're good

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cathademia · 2 years

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Hi! this is following up from the other day. I saw the post about male ob/gyns and was like "I have some lightly contradictory opinions I would like to chuck in" - so that's all this is, and whatever degree of ignoring/posting/responding is completely fine with me.

First is just some personal experience, and in aiming for not-too-much-personal-info on the Internet I'm going with minimal detail: I'm a mid-20s woman who has, since I was old enough to get the choice, mostly said that I would prefer female physicians. But looking back, I don't think I can say that my experiences as a patient with female physicians have been any better, on average, than experiences with male physicians, in any area of medicine. I'm not in any way saying "actually male ob/gyns are better", I just want to emphasize strongly, based on my own personal experience, that female doctors are in no way immune from making patients feel bad just because they're the same gender. (I know you already brought up that some women are comfortable with some male doctors, I just wanted to hit the flip side of that specifically.)

(Also, for the main contrast I'm thinking of, it's entirely possible and even probable that I got one particular female doctor on a too-busy day, or that she didn't realize how anxious I was or she would have acted differently- and I'm very certain that the male doctor who I had a better experience with, at the same office, had been told something about how anxious/upset I had been when seeing the female doctor, and I think he probably adjusted his demeanor based on that knowledge.)

All that to say, I've grown to feel that, PERSONALLY, if I'm already in a patient-doctor situation, I think I'm going to be much more concerned with the doctor's attitude and demeanor than what gender they are, including for very personal fields of medicine. Just my own current opinion, but I felt it was relevant to add.

The second part is something that I heard recently in an educational context- and this is very condensed and paraphrased - from a retired, Catholic, male OB/GYN, in terms of motivation to join that field. He had already talked about some of his journey as a Catholic and a doctor, which was a whole thing on its own. But later, someone asked him why he chose OB/GYN, and his answer really surprised me: in short, it was to earn more for his family. I forget what it was he had originally wanted to go into, but I guess it wasn't great in terms of compensation for supporting his wife (and kid? kids? sorry I forget the timeline) but I do remember him saying that, basically under pressure from his wife, he went OB/GYN so he'd be in a medical field sufficient to support his family financially. (I think it was somehow related to his other interest but I forget exactly how). I wasn't expecting that at all, and I think that falls into an interesting category quite separate from the sort of "selfless moral interest in helping women based in unforeseen life events" idea (although I feel that that's also valid for sure) that you brought up in the other post. Personally, I think it's a non-skeevy reason to join the field, but that really is just my opinion.

Also, and separately, as an aspiring doctor myself (maybe ob/gyn, in fact!) I definitely think the above with the finances is a good reminder that in addition to the Big Stuff, there are a lot of mundane and practical aspects that play into a career in medicine as well, whether we want them to or not.

any kind of response or none at all is completely fine! Just wanted to let you know these thoughts. Thanks!

I don’t disagree with what you’ve said here. And like I said, the amazing physician who worked with my mom (for three VBACs! In geriatric pregnancies!!) was male. There are great male OB/gyns

That said, something pretty important to me that I neglected to mention in my other post is something that’s common in disability activism: nothing about us without us. Now it wouldn’t be practical to have all autistic doctors treat autistic patients or all deaf doctors teach deaf patients etc., because of numbers but also because some disabilities are so debilitating that it would be very hard to live with it and make a name for yourself in medicine. Generally the reason people talk about this is because treatments and care doesn’t often have good enough applicability to actual patients’ lives. But! We can actually do this with obstetric care. Approximately 52% of humans are women, so this is absolutely an area where we can use life experience to inform care and even research questions. A good example of something created WITHOUT life experience is symphysiostomy. It’s a procedure used as an alternative to c-sections… but it also causes severe bladder incontinence. Most women feel really uncomfortable talking about their postpartum incontinence, especially with men (even male doctors). And for the ones that did talk about it, the male doctors misjudged that abdominal wall integrity would be more important than bladder control to most women, and so the procedure was conducted for decades even after we knew the side effects. Again, this isn’t to say that men can’t overcome these barriers. It’s more to say that having the profession be largely or wholly comprised of women would simply make these sorts of barriers nonexistent.

Also referring to the doctor you talked to: obstetrics SHOULD have an additional calling beyond finances and it just being a job. Obviously that’s idealistic but it is how I feel. You’re present for the first day of a lot of babies’ lives and the best day of a lot of parents’ lives. I would like to see the future of obstetrics taken with the same community mindset as midwifery but with the training of medical school. (I’m aware this is a bit much.) We definitely need a large shift in how we in the United States view birth. Part of that is overturning Roe. Another part, in my opinion, is seeing birth as a community event among women. I think having men do the role, as they’re traditionally the providers of the family, puts added social pressure to see it as a job and way to make great money, which goes against what I’m aiming to see going forward

In regards to abuse, it is true that OB-gyns have a higher risk of sexual assault to patients, and that when looking at statistics the vast majority of not all of it was from male OBs. I am writing this right before choir rehearsal so I don’t have my stats on me but you can look it up. Most of them are obviously fine. The percentage is still small. But we also know that it would be very very close to zero if women did that job.

Additionally, given that so many exams are vaginal, for modesty reasons as a Catholic I think it is preferable to have a female physician. (This is not a legal argument, and honestly none of my arguments here are intended to make being a male obgyn illegal. It’s more the social expectation I’m hoping will change.) Obviously it’s not always practical to have female doctors treat women but I think for OB-gyns, whose primary interactions with a patient are with either their vagina or breasts, it makes some sense to have women do it. This is obviously a very religious line of reasoning, but where else can you make religious lines of reasoning than on tumblr dot com.

And then lastly for practical reasons getting a vaginal exam that’s more involved than just a Pap smear is simply less painful when the person has narrower fingers. With rare exception, women have narrower fingers

#answer

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xiabablog · 1 year

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I’m autistic and i enrolled into a university to learn coding because they said they have learning support to help autistic students. But since august it’s just been so stressful and feels like they actually don’t care at all about how hard this is for me. I haven’t been able to do the work because their schedule is too much for me, the lecturers just don’t care and have been passive aggressive to me in their emails even when I try my best to be polite. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been suffering from health problems that i cannot sort out on my own and the stress from the university just makes it worse, leading to me not being able to work even more. And they don’t understand that either.

Today i received a voicemail from them that if i don’t get back to them soon they’ll just remove me as a student. I am terrified of what will happen if my parents find out, they threatened me before that they’ll kick me out. I have no place to go if that happens. But i just do the work under these conditions.

I know this is a lot, but maybe you could give me some advice. Do I stay in university? How.. Or do I just accept that and how bad it’ll look that I’m a uni dropout and probably won’t be able to get a job either after this?

Oh my goodness.

First of all, I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. One thing is being autistic and having difficulty with school life, I have a little cousin who is autistic and she needs extra help in learning just to get by like her non-autistic peers. Obviously, not all autistic people are the same but there is a trend of needing extra help in learning. WHICH your university said they would provide but they didn't in the end. That really sucks, so I'm sorry about that.

I already assume that you explained numerous of times to the university that you need help or extra time or whatever because of what you're going through but they still haven't helped. Honestly from that, I wouldn't stay in that university at all because that's just one year, what about the rest of the years studying? It's not fair on you and possibly be wasting your time and affecting your mental health because of it.

One suggestion: Find a community college to study at instead. Maybe the same course and something different.

I don't know what your career path is but learning how to code isn't something you have to go to university to learn. Obviously, if you were studying something like data science or machine learning etc, the university route is the best route to getting a good job, but for practically anything else you can self-teach yourself.

Have you considered being self-taught? If the teachers can't provide the help you need, maybe teaching yourself at your own pace is the better option. But it all depends, being self-taught requires a lot of discipline and focus! Studying online courses, earning certificates online, building projects, fixing your resume/CV and just going up from there. It also depends on the field you're studying towards!

About being kicked out, I seriously don't know what to do on that part. It's sad that your parents are not understanding the situation and just leave you on your own because you choose to not put up with what the university is doing to you anymore is super unfair.

The 'safety net' here is just to stay at that university but it's becoming too much for you. If you leave there is a high chance you get kicked out of your home. What about the option of explaining everything about university being hard PLUS the teachers refusing to help you properly? And then mention possibly entering a community college instead? Maybe they just don't want you to not do any higher education? My Dad was like that and refused me to not be doing anything for years; it was either university, community college or apprenticeship.

If being kicked out is a super high chance, you should look at resources online from either the government or local council/government that can help you because the risk of homelessness should be a high priority as that affects everything in your life and you'll be worrying more than you were before.

If anyone else reading this has any advice on what Anon should do, please comment 🙏🏾 Obviously I am viewing this from my POV and how I would handle this situation. I wish you the best of luck and if you need any more help, my DMs are open always! I hope I helped a bit, as what you're going through is a lot.

#my asks

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livehorses · 1 year

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The issue on celebrities' public lives, the gossip around them and cancel culture

Miley Cyrus "Flowers" has become a sensation, and it catched my attention, since I related to it at some level, so I searched it on YouTube. Turns out the search page was full of gossip about Miley and Liam's relationship. I didn't know anything about Miley Cyrus nor her private life, not gonna lie, I'm not much of a pop fan to be stuck with one celebrity and follow their life closely. I only consume some (not all) of the public and professional content they publish and that I actually like, since in my home I was educated into being selective with what I consume.

Here's my point: what I mean to say, is that the issue of being a celebrity is how exposed you are to the audience's opinions on matters of how you must live your own life when they actually might not know how. Your relationships and personal life issues should stay your own, but with the public life these celebrities have, it's hard to hide everything that happens with it. You're getting married? It appears in the news everywhere. So it is your first baby, your divorse, the trials accusations and of course, people will give an opinion on it, and whatever single decision you'll make can lift your career or doom it. Celebrities feel the pressure to take a posture that benefits their position, and if not, they have the risk of their career to be ruined. Of course, celebrities will always have the right and power to live their lives without answering to no one or without worrying of being a public example of morality, which isn't their responsability nor any company's production, as long as their professional work doesn't affect anyone else in the job. I will expand more this last line a few paragraphs later in this post.

Let's take for example the recent case of the famous Heard vs Depp. Maybe for most people these events might leave them confused because they don't have context, but the people who do and follow closely these celebrities' life will obviously take a side without actually having all the context, because they don't whitness these issues in their fullest and they only stick to one version of the story. The event can become a basic story where there's only one villain and one victim; not both victims, not both guilty. Fans of one celebrity will allienate with that side and other celebrity's fans will allienate with the other one, causing only comflict for things that have become more of soap operas at people's eyes. Of course, there are situations where one of the sides is obviously and undoubtedly a toxic abuser, I'm not saying that Liam Hemsworth is lacking guilt for cheating on Miley.

Also, I don't think is appropiate to be gossiping around those matters. The trials might've given a sentence to Amber, and that's on them, they're the judges and that's their job. But people cancelling everything Amber-related, sabotaging the release of Aquaman 2 or booing in the theaters just because she was there is wrong. The woman already payed the price, if innocent or not, but she literally paid it, she was given a penalty fee. I think that broadcasting the trials live for everyone to watch it was wrong from the start, and let's be honest, a lot of money was spent in propaganda to allienate people's favor to one side.

We can't shut our opinion, that's for sure, and public figures should live the most moral life they're capable of, with, or without consent of anybody. But sometimes it isn't our business, and sometimes we shouldn't be making a scandal of it, nor affecting their careers or telling people what they should consume or not if we don't know for sure if our opinion is the best. After all, celebrities keep being only human beings and we can't demand the perfect life from them. Just focus if they do their job right, and don't expect more from them because how they live their lifes is on them. Unless their position is one of authority, then things are different.

When we must say a word, and affect with our actions, when there's responsability from our part, is when a celebrity's professional job affects those around them and a final production involves abuse and mistreating. It is appropiate do denounce, critic and even so, to sabotage against directors who conditions their employees jobs for their own whims, that's the case of Harvey Weinstein or John Lasseter. Or when a production is winning money by taking advantage from others, or investing in companies whose purposes infringe important human rights, or when certain movie or series gives a wrong message that people might follow. That's where we have the power, when we choose the things that we consume and how we consume them, having full concience that is going to influence the film production, so the victims can win the fight against their opressors.

But aside from that, maybe it would be best if we focus only on how we live our own personal lives and how it affect others around us. There's where we also have influence and we have the power to change the way relationships are handled. Not by spreading missinformation and gossip on relationships that are happening very far away from our reach and sight.

#livehorses confessions #Long post #Celebrities #Celebrities lives #Miley Cirus #Liam Hemsworth #Amber Heard #Johny Depp #Gossiping

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scarlettblythe · 2 years

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Night Shift.

I arrive with a $1 coffee in my hand, burnt but caffeinated. I look at the whiteboard, check my allocation. Rooms 8 to 14. My charge nurse greets me with a smile.

"Room 8 is palliated, might pass away tonight. Will that be too much for you? I can move you to Zone 4."

"No, that's okay. He's comfortable, so I can handle that."

"Room 12 is a handful, but there's a PCA, so you just have to do meds, and she's been very relaxed all day."

"Cruisy. How is 13? I know he's kept them on their toes the past two nights."

"He's been great today actually, really settled."

"Oh, I'm so glad. I'll keep this zone then."

I have twelve hours to keep them all safe. Seven rooms, seven patients. Only me. But they're settled. It's going to be a good night.

----

When I went to nursing school, I was going to be a school vax nurse. I was going to educate parents and dart injections into arms so fast the kids didn't even know it had happened. I was going to work 9am to 3pm, for $110k, and then come home and play with my pets and garden and go to ballet.

I was going to make a difference, but a small one. Be one tiny piece of someone's life with an immeasurably tiny but potentially huge impact.

Nobody remembers their vax nurse. That felt very safe.

---- Mamma mia.

His voice echoes down the hall.

Mamma Maria.

I watch a blood pressure cuff inflate. Watch the patient's chest rise and fall, count the breaths. "I've just got two tablets here for you. Just paracetamol. Have you opened your bowels today?"

Madonna mia.

I close the door on the cries, so the echo becomes a whisper. "Sorry about that, he's having a hard night."

----

There is something beautiful about palliative care. I have never wanted to care for the dying as a career, but as I walk into Room 8, I understand why people do. The lights are gentle. His favourite team plays on the television, his favourite music on the radio. He and his son shared a beer tonight, and I watched his face light up in pleasure. Later, I put his pills into his favourite flavoured custard, to make them easier to swallow. He's diabetic, but that doesn't matter any more. All I want is to give him everything he could ever want, for as long as he'll stay.

He has eased into a comfortable doze, and his son leaves, thanking me for caring so well for his father. When he wakes, he is agitated. I hold his hand, stroke his hair back, tell him he is loved. I give him morphine, and tell him he is not alone.

----

I have two pagers, one in each hip pocket. They are attached to bed alarms, crude grey boxes attached to sensors on patient beds. When the patient tries to get out of bed, they scream in digital anguish, and I drop whatever I'm doing and run towards the noise. Room 12 and Room 13. Left and right. High Falls Risks. Confused. Delirious. Unsteady on their feet. Room 12 is so impulsive she has her own Patient Care Assistant, some poor nursing student working night shift to pay rent. The PCA can soothe, reorient, take the patient to the bathroom, but the patient leaps out of bed every quarter of an hour, excited to start her day at one o'clock in the morning. The PCA is doing her best, but ultimately the patient is my responsibility. Room 12's pager stays on my left hip.

----

Room 13 came to hospital confused. He has so many things wrong I can't keep track, but I know he is anxious, distressed. Delirious. He has been too settled to need his own PCA, so there is only me tonight, me and his bed alarm. The alarm rings whenever he rolls over in bed. It shocks him, makes him cry. I feel horrible for leaving it on, but I have to - what if he falls out of bed? He looks so small, curled into a ball, sunk down on the bed. The bell, he cries. Why won't it stop ringing? I feel his pain, keenly, my own nerves jangling from the beeping on my right hip and the screaming from the box in his room.

"I'm sorry, my friend. Do you need to go to the toilet?"

He needs the toilet every half hour, a frustrating imposition on my time. Every half hour I spend fifteen minutes helping him sit, help him stand, help him walk. I give him privacy in the bathroom by turning my back, and I know when he can't see my face it is twisted with annoyance. I have six other patients. I have so much to do, and there is only me to do it. He cannot possibly need the toilet this frequently. He just can't. I wish he would sleep, rest, not need me for a second.

I turn back, rearranging my face into a gentle smile. "Ready to go?"

----

I roll Room 8 over in bed, prop pillows at his back, between his knees, place small foam cushions wherever his bones protrude. He opens his eyes, smiles at me.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Any pain?"

"Yes." He nods, smiling. "Yes, yes, yeah, yes." His eyes are focused on something over my shoulder, past me, through me. He keeps nodding, and closes his eyes with a gentle sigh.

The pager on my left hip goes off.

When I leave his room, I see Room 12 floating towards me, long hair streaming, pale in a hospital gown like a ghost. The PCA runs from behind as the patient makes a beeline to Room 8, like she can sense the approach of death and wants to say hello.

"Where are you going?" I ask her, blocking her way.

"Home."

The PCA touches her shoulder, smiles brightly, cajolingly. "It's late. Let's go back to bed."

----

I am checking a blood pressure when the alarm goes off. I am writing a note. I am in the med room, in the kitchen, comforting someone's mother, on the phone to the doctor. The alarm rings in my ears like tinnitus. Every time, I run.

Room 13 is trying to sit up again. I slap his alarm, shut it up for a second.

"Do you need the toilet?"

He looks at me blearily, groans.

"Are you in pain?"

He tries to stand, suddenly so weak the effort of sitting upright makes his tendons stand out stark against his skin. Fear flares in my chest.

"No, stay there. I'll get you anything you need. What do you need?"

He groans again. I place one hand on his back, feel him slump against my side. He is so small, and so tired.

"Where does it hurt? Um - dove? Dove dolore?"

I kneel in front of him, half exhausted mercy, half temper.

"Please, what do you need?"

My watch ticks on, reminding me there are eight more hours.

----

The groans become constant, and I call a MET, a Medical Emergency, forcing a whole ICU team to rush to my side.

A junior doctor assesses, says nil acute, a dismissal. Nothing they can do. Room 13's mumbled groans have escalated. He cries, and it evolves into a shriek, circling us, a siren of pain. The doctor writes up one small dose of opiates, and everyone knows it won't even touch the sides.

At the last second, an ICU nurse decides to run some blood tests. The results are catastrophic.

Room 14 rings the call bell. 13's screams follow me down the hall. Room 14's door is open and when I enter, she smiles gently at me. "I can translate what he's saying, if you like."

I know what he's saying, down to my core. I ask her anyway.

"He says, you're killing me. Please stop, you're killing me. He's just saying that, over and over again."

----

It is time for my break.

I lie on a couch, staring at the ceiling. I can hear him scream, hear his alarm, and I have no idea if it's down the hall or in my head.

----

When I return, the PCA reminds me it is time for her break too. An hour. She smiles and walks away, and for an hour, it truly is only me.

Only me in Room 12, reassuring, reorienting, reminding her that it's bedtime. Only me explaining what the heart monitor is for, why it needs to stay on. Only me helping her rearrange the hospital gown that pulls uncomfortably. Only me. Only me. Only me.

Room 7 needs a warm blanket. Room 9 wants to know the time. Room 12's alarm goes off. Room 12's alarm goes off. Room 12's alarm goes off. Room 13 screams. You're killing me.

----

More blood tests, worse results. We push medications, a doctor holds an IV bag high and squeezes it, forcing fluid into his veins faster. His organs are shutting down. Antibiotics and pain relief might make them shut down faster. We push calcium, glucose, insulin, temporary measures to stem the tidal wave of waste products poisoning him from the inside. We wrap bandages around his arm to stop him ripping out his IV. We stand outside his room speaking quietly, urgently, while the ICU team make decisions. Their nurse reminds me, "First, do no harm." What is harm, for a man in this much pain? None of us know.

Room 12's alarm goes off, and there's only me. I run.

----

I can't get her back in bed. She can hear him screaming, but cannot understand. She obsessively undresses and redresses, convinced she has an event, convinced she has something better somewhere, convinced a sheet is her favourite dress. I feel selfish, mean, because all I want is for her to sleep, so I would have one less worry. She can feel my frustration. She rips off her gown again.

----

ICU leave. Room 13 screams. I am killing him.

I leave him and head to Room 8. Roll him over in bed, stroke his brow, give him morphine, adjust his oxygen. He smiles beatifically, an instinctive response to all the love I am pouring into him. He doesn't have long.

----

Four hours to go. ICU is back. Another doctor, quiet and grave, tells me she needs to discuss goals of care.

Goals of care. A euphemism we use. It means there's nothing more we can do.

Room 13 is dying. I am killing him. He is dying fast and slow.

Someone calls his primary doctor. Someone else calls his family. He is provisionally made NFR, Not For Rescuscitation. Everybody is signing forms. His doctor will review in the morning. Four hours to go, and he is still screaming.

----

Room 12 kicks me out of her room, sick of me, sick of being constantly observed. My charge nurse sees me, asks if I need help. I burst into tears. Ugly, angry sobs. I am furious. Furious with her, with the patient, with the PCA who took a break she is well entitled to. The charge nurse tells me to take a minute. I use it to cry in the storage room.

----

I was going to be a school vax nurse. I'll jab babies, I joked, mimed throwing a dart into an arm. I'll have school holidays off. I'll never work night shift. Who would work bedside, when you can make so much more working 9-3?

----

Room 13 is too exhausted to scream any more. I can't tell if he sleeps or falls unconscious. I stroke his brow. I tell him how sorry I am.

I read Italian prayers over him, for him, the light of my phone screen illuminating us both.

The PCA is back. My charge nurse is in the thick of it now; it is no longer only me. We move fast, catching up on hours of work. Blood pressures. ECGs. Medications. The alarms do not ring.

I hand over to day shift. I apologise to them. "I'm handing you a shitshow."

They shake their head and laugh. "All good. Back tonight?" they ask.

"Yep."

"Sleep well."

Room 8 is still alive, a gentle miracle.

Room 13 is still alive, and the guilt of his screams will follow me home.

#just for me #nurse

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my-headcanons-academia · 3 years

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Inko chews out Endeavour

Characters: Inko Midoriya, Izuku Midoriya, Shouto Todoroki, Endeavour

Genre: Angst, a little bit of fluff and catharsis

TW: Mentions of child abuse, abusive home life, mental drain

Word Count:3 K

A/N: This may be a teensy bit long :3

•Okay listen

•Midoriya is god damn horrified when he hears what Endeavour did/does to his kids. He had obviously guessed that the second-best hero there is who is training his family to also become heroes would have some extensive regime but what Shouto explained wasn't "training" it was just abuse.

•He immediately offers Shouto and his sibling's a place with him and his mum without a moment's hesitation. They're not as rich as the Todoroki's or live in as big a house with as good food, but they're happy. •And when Shouto declines, Izuku isn't really sure what to do.

• it's not his place to tell any media or higher authorities, it'd drastically change the lives of Shouto and his siblings and would affect all of them the rest of their lives. He feels like he can't do much and a part of him feels like doing nothing means he's condoning the abuse that still happens in that home like the emotional neglect and things Shouto may not have mentioned. But he can't do anything about that right now, simply because Shouto won't let him. And while Izuku is fighting every instinct he has which is to take the Todoroki siblings out of there and into a therapist's office, it's not his place to do that.

•So instead, he does what he can for them, like offer to go places more so they're out of the house. Offer free anonymous therapy sites. Have their own improv therapy whenever needed. Promise to be there for whoever trusts him and for those who it may take longer to trust him.

•But with all his good intentions, he starts to bite off more than he can chew. Even when it's not in the midst of midnight therapy or distracting days out, it's constantly nagging at the back of his mind that he wants to do more and he isn't doing everything he can. He doesn't want to "fail" at being a good friend, since he hasn't had many experiences to base off (or any for that matter) but he is running out of emotional room.

•Contrary to the Todoroki household, Inko Midoriya actually notices when her child is going through some rough times and tries to do her best to help.

•I imagine Inko and Midoriya have a close relationship. With no other reliable parent figure in the house, they spent a lot of time together. Not only are they parent and child, but they are also friends who enjoy each others company. Inko may not always understand his fascination with All Might but she'll always ask questions and prompt him to go on about the differences in All Might's costumes and moves, even if she knows all the answers already in the same way Izuku may not understand why she enjoys sewing so much ever since she made him his hero costume but will not hesitate to help her go shopping for and carry new fabrics as she talks about the colours and texture helping boost peoples confidence. (She wants to get better at sewing so she can make a new costume for him that's better than ever before.) •And because Inko and Izuku were rather close, she knew his tells. she'd learnt well from their daily game nights to know when he lying and when he was hiding things. But that was during games. This was far more strenuous. But before she rushed in and crowded him, Inko thought that if there were really something he didn't want her to know, then she shouldn't know. So long as it doesn't hurt him. So, respecting the fact he is now a teenage boy and not a child anymore, she knew he was smart enough to make his own decisions.

•But also being herself, she still wanted to help, even if she didn't know exactly what was going on.

•At first, she thought Izuku wasn't sleeping enough because of the stress of UA so she'd plan days to the seaside or mini-holiday or they could try to make a new dessert or do a movie marathons to distract him from it. And she always took note of how very time she offered, he'd always insist some way or another that the Todoroki's join them which of course she had no quarrels with, she was delighted he loved spending so much time with his friends!

•When that didn't help she offered to get him a tutor, maybe he was anxious about his studies? She didn't trust her own education enough to tutor him as he was always impressing her with fun trivia and general knowledge but she'd taken a break in her sewing hobby to save up some money to be able to pay for a tutor.

•But when he began not eating as much, mind always preoccupied with something else than his usual hero ideology and theories, the day of the annual parent-teacher meeting and Izuku hadn't uttered a word since he got home, she sat him down on the couch, held his hands, his scarred and trembling hands, and she asked him. "Are you alright?"

•She's asked this many times before, every time he came home from school, every time she found him up in the middle of the night shakily drinking some water while staring at his phone as if expecting some death from the family. But this time? •This time her words echo in Izuku's head, getting louder and louder with each reverberation, picking up speed and other voices with every hit to his mind, the sound of text messages, quiet telephone calls, rushed breathing, stifled words, hearing footsteps from the other line, the need to help all drowning him in a cacophony of utter helplessness. •And he crumples against his mother, clawing onto her shirt like a life-jacket barely keeping him afloat above the ocean of noise only he is in and he cries. The tears stain Inko's cardigan and she wraps her arms around him, pulling him onto her lap like she used to when he was a child, she holds her son, her baby boy, as his tears dampen her clothes and his voice breaks choking on sobs.

•It was a long day.

•Izuku and Shouto had talked before about telling Inko or an adult or just anyone but there was always some reason, some excuse why it couldn't happen yet. It would be a decision all the siblings would have to agree to as it affects all their lives. Fuyumi was always hesitant, so cautious and making sure if anything were to happen nothing could be left to chance and all outcomes had to be planned. Natsuo wanted whatever would help everyone the most, and if no one was ready to do anything right now, then he'd wait. Shouto thought long ago that if what his father did to his family ever came to light, it would be brought up for the rest of his hero career and he'd never be able to truly escape his dad's hold if it always followed him like that. And until he met Midoriya, that's what he thought for years.

•Shouto was warming up to the idea of saying what happened to him specifically to someone. To see what would happen.

•And that is what Izuku could let slip. The things Shouto had told him at the sports festival, the reason for his scar, his spiteful technique and motivation to be a hero. •It was a long day. •The moment all was said and done, that he had run out of tears to cry, that he had ruined his mother's cardigan by stretching it with his grip and made it soggy with his sobs, that he could breathe without a hiccup or tremor interrupting him, he was completely drained. There was a mix of hollowness after spending so long building it all up, unsure every step of the way whether he's doing the right thing or not and the relief of finally letting there be room for him to breathe.

•But in his hollow chest was a stab of guilt, anxiety, crawling back up his throat and blocking his lungs like a thick mucus of worry. Had he done the wrong thing? It wasn't his place to say- He should have talked with Shouto more about this- Was he wrong to have done nothing so far?- Oh god he's done nothing right- this could hurt them-

• "Shhh," Inko gently held the back of his head and rubbed small circles with her thumb into the back of his neck, like she used to to do calm him down as a child, it still worked "It's-..." Inko collected her thoughts. It was certainly a lot to process, she had her suspicions but she thought she was being paranoid. She'll learn to trust her gut more. "It's not alright right now, but one day it will be. For you and for them."

•And that worry in his chest turned to blunt guilt, he shouldn't be the one crying while Shouto and his siblings have withstood literal torture all their lives, he should be stronger, he needs to be stronger to help them-

•"You are children. And none of you should have to deal with this. I know you're growing up faster than I can blink and you're being a hero more and more every day, but that doesn't mean you were prepared for this exact situation. They train you to fight villains and criminals and how to save those in immediate peril who want saving. Not thins like this." Inko continued to speak softly, pulling Izuku closer and soothing the back of his neck "Thank you for telling me and I can understand why you wouldn't want me to meddle as it may be out of my depth, but, two people helping them is better than one."

• Midoriya told Shouto what had happened and apologised for spilling too early, apologised for not doing enough, apologised for being less than open about the emotional and mental space he had to spare, promising to be more aware of it so long as Shouto continues to trust him and talk when needed. Shouto was confused as to why Midoriya was apologising so much as always and despite the apprehension in his movements, Shouto had spent enough time with Inko to trust her. And also to know that while Inko is kind, that isn't all she is.

•Shouto had seen her repay the kindness people had shown her tenfold with gifts, acts of service, compliments, reassurance and more. And something about that deep-rooted kindness tipped him off to the idea that if someone were to take advantage of her kindness or her son, that injustice too shall be repaid. And, as slow as it was and as long as it took, he knew she considers him her son too.

• Overall, the parent-teacher meeting was going well for most students. Most students were in their more casual clothes except those who had been too lazy to change out of their school uniform for the day albeit having their shirts scandalously untucked and top buttons undone (Except for Bakugo who in the presence of his mother for the first time had his tie actually tied, truly it was a sight to behold and blackmail photos to be used for months.)

• Amidst all the parents gathering together while waiting for the respective teachers to be free of their current appointments, there he was. Enji Todoroki, Endeavour in his hero costume supposedly fresh from the job. • And thus, politely fuelled by karmic fury the 5'2 force of nature marched up with a smile to the flaming rotting piece of shit excuse she can barely call a human being and greeted him.

• "Oh, hello Enji." Inko smiles. Izuku stands back with Shouto on the sidelines, watching the encounter unfold. • First of all, the informality caught him off guard. Usually, he'd be used to fans being "Overly-friendly" but something about the smile in her voice didn't sit right with the way fans usually say it. This turned a few heads.

• "And..who are you?"

• "Why I am so glad you asked, my name is Inko Midoriya, the woman whose house your son goes to every day but I suppose you wouldn't know that since as long as he's keeping up his work then there is nothing else to do with him at all," she coughed ", like parenting," and continued "Speaking of being in public I could never be as confident as you are to go to a casual event in a full-on hero costume but I suppose if it helps boost your ego then go for it! Although, speaking from the perspective of a concerned parent, aren't all of those flames a safety hazard! what if you were near a flammable thing like, oh I don't know, civilians clothes in a place you know where said civilians are tightly packed together, or there could be someone well-known to have a flammable quirk nearby or just a building's structure being, on the whole, a rather flammable thing?" Her head turned to the overgrown vermin who lead the school who had entered the room upon hearing there was a commotion "Not that I doubt UA's defence measures and predicted disastrous occurrences as no such thing has ever failed in the past. It's just the safety of children and the future generation of heroes after all." and just as quickly turned back to Endeavour

•"You know I noticed there are plenty of other pro-heroes here who are just fine in their everyday clothing because they recognise this get together is about their children's achievements and not their own. Why, if I didn't know any better I'd say you really are that insecure in your title slipping because that's what being a hero is all about, the title, that you'd distract entire families from the point of being here just to pay attention to you because it's not like being the second supposedly best hero there is credits you any attention."

• Enji barely had time to stop the flames protruding from his hero suit from dying out as peoples heads turned to pay attention. By now every student had pulled out their phone to record the situation.

•Nedzu was on his way over, laughing awkwardly ready to diffuse the situation but had miraculously been needed for a sudden important event in the teacher's lounge and was immediately escorted by Aizawa and Present Mic.

•"Oh and may I go on and say you truly are an inspirational story of how being raised as a gifted child must have been really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your life thinking you’re worth a damn without your quirk so you made it your entire personality until you developed your own actual personality because of course you, the Number Two hero would outgrow such a childish nature. That sounds rough," she pouted in mock sympathy.

• Endeavour snarled behind gritted teeth, barely stopping himself from acting out of hand at the public slander. "Just who do you think you are-"

•"Like I said, my name is Inko Midoriya, the pleasure is all mine I'm sure, or did you not hear me the first time while that fire was covering your ears? just like how it must have covered your eyes with choosing that outfit to be approachable. Oh do excuse me if that seemed rude, I'm a seamstress as a hobby you see so I tend to have an eye for when things are just wrong in every way. Honestly, if you didn't parade your title everywhere you go I'd mistake you for a villain on sight. You see, I'm only a seamstress and not a hero like you as you love to flaunt no matter the situation or need for it, but it must be so rewarding to save all those people every day and return to a home with your loving children and children who want to do the exact same thing and be exactly like you because you must be such good role-model and parent to have accomplished so much in your career and of course spent enough time on each of your children to help them grow to be happy, full of inspiration and their own dreams to fulfil. Oh, and of course your wife who must be so proud of the person you've become!"

• By this point the flames had been sputtering at random, a rare purple and even blue flamer erupting once and again as this woman continued talking and the parents out the corner of his eye who thought they were out of his sight nod their head and faces contort into realising the full weight of the truth they already knew but now understand.

• But Inko was nowhere near close to done, Endeavour could hear as much when she took a small break to smile and take a bigger breath to continue. • And blinded by the public's disapproval of everything he had convinced he had Done for the good of the civilians, he could feel the ground, just like his title, being pulled from under him as quicker heroes hit the back of his knees as Inko swung her handbag with the metal buckle across Endeavours face while she was being pulled safety away from the punch Enji hadn't realised fast enough he had thrown.

• The videos uploaded by students went viral in seconds

•"shocked" by the number two hero's emotional outburst with malicious intent to harm an unarmed civilian, Inko let it be known she found it unsuitable that he go back home to his children and instead of that they live with her and make a record with either police or a licensed therapist to make a note of any other emotional outbursts or strange and potentially dangerous behaviour in complete confidentiality.

#wow #a good parent?#in this economy?#bnha #mha #mha hc #bnha hc #endeavor #inko midoriya #izuku midoriya #tododeku #shouto todoroki #enji todoroki #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #Shouto x therapy #Inko x catharsis #INKO POPPING OFF

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mrs-nate-humphrey · 2 years

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I know you’ve mentioned before that you don’t like Nate getting into politics, and I totally agree with you! I even remember watching the finale when I was 12 and finding out that he was running for mayor and I was like, that’s not right...

But I literally have no idea what I would want him to do??? Like, at all???? So, I was wondering if you had any thoughts on that, cause your gg opinions are literally always on point.

I also to this day can’t decide what I think about the Spectator arc. I mean, journalism def feels better than politics, but that whole thing was also started with William and Diana thing, which was... yikes. But in the end he DID break away from them, and I feel like that piece he wrote after William tried to use the Spectator to further Tripp’s career was a real high point for his character. Can you see may dilemma here? What do you think?

Idk, Nate’s just my favourite character (out of the mains who stick around through the whole show), and I very much relate to him on like a neurodivergent level... I just need to replace canon with something better in my head.

hi, sorry about taking a while to come to this! i've been kind of unwell, RIP, and wanted to answer when my brain was like, more present & all that. nate being mayor sucks, because it has such a vibe of him giving up what he wants for whatever his family wants from him ("darthmouth, law school, blair, that was the plan nathaniel," etc etc).

i also don't like the spectator arc for nate at all? like it was so opposed to what nate was actually passionate about, it just didn't make any sense. if he really wanted to break free from his family and do something for himself, why would he choose journalism? from whatever we've seen of nate in the show, i think it's safe to say that'd actually be a really unfulfilling career path for him. he could've chosen to break free from his family by getting a job that's more aligned with things he likes, or at least, things he doesn't vehemently dislike. imagine how much fun it would've been if he'd decided to try his hand at becoming a professional chef! or something new and unexplored, for him, like that.

& your point re: the spectator arc/nate's family.. while i get what you're saying about him trying to break away, it didn't feel like that to me, tbh. it felt so much like he wanted a fresh start, but his grandfather did everything he could to control nate & get nate where he wanted him to be, if that makes sense. and yes, in the situation nate tried to make the best of things, but to me it feels tragic as fuck. and kind of horrible - the sense that no matter what nate tries to do, no matter how far away he tries to get from his family, they're right there, breathing down his neck. they just won't let him be his own person. it makes me wonder what happened to nate during those 5 years of fast-forwarding before the derena wedding & finale... did he try and escape his family more times before realising there was no way he could get out of their grasp, and is that why he succumbed to running for mayor? dammit, i'm sad now.

anyway! i skipped the first question so that i could come to it last, and i've put it under the cut here. so... potential careers for nate that i actually really like, under the cut, here you go:

i like the idea of him being a physical education teacher in high school, like, a lot. i think he'd be really good at it, and unlike some of the absolute garbage instructors i've seen, he would like... be mindful & considerate of kids' feelings and not comment on their bodies or fitness levels in disrespectful ways? you know what i mean.

he could also become a professional athlete? dude was the captain of three different sports teams in high school, come on natie, join a sports team as an adult for REALZ

horseboy!nate is very close to my heart so. i love to think of him doing some job that involves that. riding instructor who works in the stables? racehorse trainer? i don't know, i'm very much not a horseboy. but. yeah.

kindergarten teacher natie!!!! this one is really beloved to me. i am gonna write milofic with date endgame about it someday... milo's in kindergarten, nate's his teacher, dan's the hot single dad, you see where this is headed....

i like the idea of nate running vlogs, like "how to" vlogs, for people who are new to adulting, or whatever? i think he'd find it satisfying AND he'd be good at it. stuff like "how to cook if you're living alone," "how to file your own taxes," "how to assemble furniture from ikea" (bonus video: "how not to assemble furniture from ikea"), & i think he'd have a really good brand of like. humour & sincerity? like he would have "how to cook" videos but he would also have "i burnt breakfast again" kind of videos. idk, i just like natie being able to leave the sheltered bubble that is the van der bilt hivemind & do his own thing - and find joy doing his own thing! and share that joy!!

in that line - an arc i LOVE for nate is nate deliberately working jobs like customer service/retail & all that just so that he gets that experience and learns what that is like. cashier natie my beloved... i'm actually writing that one into a fic, lol. but just stuff like that.

nate & vanessa working in a coffee shop together.......

flight attendant nate...

okay, this one is a favourite: tour guide nate!!! like, one of those guides who escorts a group of tourists around a city and tells them about the history and monuments and shows them the sights. i mean, he canonically did do this with raina, but of course, as a tour guide, there'd be... less romance in his job, LOL.

im suddenly thinking of nate being a cab driver and i'm really into it, idk what to tell you.

mechanic nate! but mostly just for the potential datefic. dan's car breaks down and nate's there to fix it and dan can't stop staring at nate's arms, good lord,,

jokes aside, there's something really good about nate specialising in repairs of some sort. any sort! hardware repair, clock fixing, plumbing.... it doesn't matter whatever it is, i love the idea of nate making broken objects better.

nate would be really good at being an actor or a model i feel, but i think those jobs would make him miserable, so unless we're looking at angsty/whumpy fic premises for him, that's not what i wanna see him doing

i know that both S & liz have mentioned social worker nate at some point, and while i personally don't really see it, i do think he has the right skillset for it & that it's a cool headcanon!

someone - i don't remember whom, i think it was leila but i could be totally mistaken - said something about nate being one of those counsellors who work in school & yeah, he's definitely got the right skillset for that.

i definitely forgot some, & if my mutuals want to reblog + add please go ahead!

#lucbian #nate archibald #meta #post canon #i feel like tagging people would be an annoying thing to do #idk why i feel like this . i never feel like this?#but other gg tumblr peeps who have good headcanons when it comes to nate's careers #@strideofpride & @mymindseessongs & @vanderwoodlings #& also @karadnvres. i know that in my gut #i hope this is worth the wait lkdfhlkghdkgh #im still exhausted and recovering. RIP @ me

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