#but i’m putting it anyway

[earthbaby-angelboy]

caramel macchiatos, croissants with nutella, and an angel with sideburns: the musings of a grown child whose trying.

theres a stilling comfort in knowing that i’m awake when everyone else is asleep, being left with an amalgamation of ghosts from past, present and future; it’s like mist dissipating over a lake.

one breath, and it’s all gone.

my head feels fuzzy, and my body hurts. i’m fighting sleep off like a priest fighting demons. the reality of my situation hits me, and panic ensues two or three times; it’s like i’m 7 all over again. except now, there’s something different…

there’s an angel with black hair and sideburns whose wings are covered in multicolored diamonds.

and while i feel like i’m back in the house and like you can hear the screams echoing off the foyer walls, something is different.

this time, i’m sitting in his lap and we’re backed into a corner. my head is leaning against his chest, my arms crossed over my front in lieu of a shield, and loud whine or quiet hum (i can’t tell which is which) is coming from the back of my throat.

our hearts are beating together in rythm, even though his stopped 47 years ago.

for a second, i feel embarrassed for even writing this; it quickly diminishes, though, because i am just a small child having emotions bigger than my own body.

i realize that he’s not here (nor was there) to fight the screams off, or tell them to stop fighting.

he doesn’t care about that, he’s here to help me survive.

it dawns on me now that the universe is recreating a scene from that damned year, but it’s playing out in a way completely unexpected…

cause i’m not 7.

i’m almost 17, but i’m still just as small.

difference is that now, i’m not powerless against the screaming, and i’m not filled with fear.

instead of trying to fix everyone else’s problems, i’m worried about regulating my own.

for moments more slight as forever, he cuts through the cymbals crashing in my brain and i can hear him saying something.

his tone isn’t angry, demeaning, accusatory or mocking, like all the voices i had become accustomed to hearing but banished out to hell.

it’s bizarrely gentle and kind and parental and romantic, all wrapped up into one.

i’m in the present now.

everything has changed, yet nothing at all.

it all happened so fast, and i take a moment to pity myself.

the angel is dead, survived by books and records and the creation of others.

as i’m writing this, i now realize he was dead way back when too. if now, he seems more alive than ever.

but it wasn’t really ‘way back when’, was it?

i see glimpses of his face everywhere i turn now, for nothing more than a few seconds.

sometimes it’s 2:22, or the rainbow made by the moon, or audubon drive popping up on google at 10:34 in the morning.

those few seconds give me enough hope to walk through a dark valley that just keeps getting steeper.

i’ve come to realize the angel that is (and was) with me was NOT the one they claimed to know.

if i try hard enough, he can remain untouched.

it seems that my generation is not rewriting, but retelling the story, his story, all while creating an intense reflection of the comfort so very many of us were denied.

call it inaccurate as you please, we are taking something that was far beyond its time, and applying it to ours.

and i wonder for more than a minute if there was a reason he behaved the way he did.

was there a reason for all the peculiarities other than an eccentric-erratic personality? or is it more like “it takes one to know one?”

because even in our year, i’ve never seen someone in his position behave the way he did: so loving and kind and brutal and rough and erratic…

and terribly brilliant.

#elvis presley #poetry #idk if this counts as poetry?? #but i’m putting it anyway #i wrote this at 3am #when things were real bad and i was looking back on everything #looking forward too #but it was all too much #so i did what i do best and put my neurosis into words #this touches on more in one than some of my other fics ever had #this encapsulates my close past and distant future #how he was there and is still here #and it’s supposed to be cryptic and poetic and sappy and whatever else #cause i want another kid who is also in an abusive situation to see that someone else is there too #(this was heavily inspired from HOWL by allen ginsberg) #i would love to answer questions about this #tw implied death #tw implied child abuse #tw implied hallucinations #remember #you are loved♥️

[twinstxrs]

brennan reintroducing the bad kids with genuine titles they hold in canon like “archdevil” “captain of the owlbears” & “risen saint” but adding “holder of the tin flower” to gorgug’s intro because of how gorgug offering his tin flower to fabian, even after they fought, so effectively represents the type of person gorgug is (a kind one).

#what if i died #gorgug thistlespring #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy spoilers #fhjy #if u think about it this is a win for the thistlecaster agenda (i’m delusional) #fellas is it gay if offering a tin flower to my bro which he later got put on the ax holster he gifted me is a core tenet of my character? #(no) #idk if tenet is the right word there but whatever it’s 5 a.m. idc at this point #but anyways. zac oyama characters you are often so kind & i love that about you.

[bulldog-butch]

i’m gonna say something controversial yet brave: sexuality labels are a convenient tool we use to define something that is undefinable

#you literally cannot change my mind #if you accept that sexuality is about something other than genitals than you also have to accept that there are going to be millions #of definitions for the same labels #and that’s okay #who you are attracted to cannot possibly ever be described with one word #put weirdo little brains and desires are too complex for that #*our #anyway #i’m right #bork bork!

[yaolmao]

simp

#I HATE COLORING I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE #my friends bought me an Apple Pencil and omgggg I’ve never had pressure before in my life #this changes everything #I can actually put my hand down on my iPad to doodle?? #I’ve gotten so used to hovering my hand like what is going on #anyways 15!chuuya is actually amazing #I’ve made a recent discovery that I’m a lot similar to Dazai than I thought and idk how I feel about that cause he’s such a brat #ive gotten to the point that I’d actually talk to him on those character ai’s and it’s actually so embarrassing like it’s nothing #like the actual bsd dazai but I’d actually rather talk to a robot than a real person about my problems #I like kids being kids so I’m always down to draw 15!skk #chuuya nakahara #dazai Osamu #bsd #bungou stray dogs #skk #soukoku #myart #I’m gonna post and pass out now

[whaliiwatching]

diagnoses u with fanfic tags

yeah i caved. welcome spideysona

their universe is 1990s san francisco. by day they work as a struggling writer for the bugle, sort of following in the footsteps of (movie-adjacent) eddie brock; by night they’re spider-scrawl, fighting systemic injustice, writers’ block, and the occasional mad scientist invention. his world is less rife with supernatural evils than most, but he’s also fucking with the government and corporations and all, so it balances out

their unique thing is that they have, like, shitty meta clairvoyance in the form of inherently understanding tropes, clichés, story structure, etc. like if cinemasins/wins were a superhero. they were approached to join the society because miguel thought they’d be chill or even helpful with canon events—unfortunately scribble here is not whatsoever into following rigid plot structure for the sake of unnecessary thematic suffering, saw the plot twist a miles away, and peaced. but not before snagging a day pass so they could watch atsv in person

they never take off their mask, and no one knows their name—he says it’s because he doesn’t want to lose his identity in a sea of spider-people, leading most to theorize that san-fran-spidey is some flavor of peter parker, but who’s to say for sure? the doylist reason, which he is in fact aware of, is that i don’t know either lol

#spider man: across the spiderverse #spidersona #spider scrawl #spider punk #spider noir #hobie brown #noirpunk #just a tad ;) #brass tacks means facts! #haha do you get it miles like a mile away but miles was the one wh— #so anyway sona shit #eddie in their universe has left the bugle for better things (read: got fired movie style) #still a bangin journalist tho and scrawl aspires to be like him #their deadpool is just as meta as them. they’re buddies #usually i’m not one for sonas but this was fun #static and colors inspired by that can u ever forgive me movie from 2018 #scrawl puts on the mask to feel more confident about fighting the system #hopin & prayin it’ll do the same for me :’)

[semisolidmind]

(If you’re uncomfortable with this than you can ignore it or make it into a joke)

*down on knees* 🙏 PLEASE I BEG! PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE MAKE SOME SPICY DOGDAY X Y/N ART!

I have some sweets! *gives gum and lollipops*

….idk if this is all that spicy, but—

big fella is demanding some cuddle time right freakin now

(this week was a lil rough mentally cause of school, so this is a lil scratchy)

#click for quality cause mobile is stupid #poppy playtime #poppy playtime chapter 3 #dogday #dogday x reader #dogday x y/n #sunnyangel #I don’t think this will get smited but I’m putting it under a read more anyway

[rissaito]

“hey, diluc… do you think we’re brothers in every universe?” 🍓🫐

some ragbros for the soul 🤲 they mean everything to me

(the song is “l’amore dice ciao” by armando trovajoli)

#ragbros changed my life btw #i’m so normal about them i can’t even put it into words #they might not be bound by blood or lineage or anything like that but they will ALWAYS be bros #despite everything #at least that’s what i think #anyways #my art #genshin impact #kaeya #diluc #ragbros #video post #2024 art #rissaito

[yourlocalabomination]

Tick Tock, Teddy-Bear.

#the bastards box wasn’t enough I had to trap this fucker in a hour glass #IM NEVER RENDERING GOLD AGAIN IN MY LIFE I DIDNT LEARN THE FIRST TIME- #anyway guess who’s not dead. sorry I disappeared for a hot sec as you might be able to deduce this one took a while #also life happened lol. I was doing this inbetween uni work a social life and being ill. #I’m not going to reveal how long this one took because I’m genuinly ashamed I put so much time into drawing Ted fucking Spankoffski #just know this might be the most amount of time and effort Iv ever put into a artwork in my entire life #I’m not too mad about it actually because I wanted to make one final big artwork before I turn 20 #ted spankoffski #theodore spankoffski #starkid #team starkid #starkid productions #starkid fanart #fanart starkid #time bastard #starkid time bastard #time bastard nightmare time #nightmare time #starkid nightmare time #hatchetfield nightmare time #nmt #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #hatchetfield universe #fanart #my art

[offkilterkeys]

The world isn’t ready for my alpha kid readings.

#jane crocker #jake english #roxy lalonde #dirk strider #homestuck #alpha kids #Jane is the struggler don’t you EVER contest that #many might argue it’s Jake but he doesn’t struggle inherently #usually he just vibes until he’s forced into situations wherein he struggles #Jane struggles from the beginning #her entire arc is a struggle #also had to change it from “the fujoshi” mostly cause I don’t like that and also cause it’s not as versatile as the other labels #I don’t actually think Dirk is boring btw i just think that when put up against his friends he has a lot less complexity going on #like his arc is fairly simple as opposed to Jane and Jake’s #and even Roxy’s #His problems seem inherently a lot more straight forward to me simply because he’s articulate enough to realize he has problems #Jane and Jake are almost there #problems are like on the tip of their tongues #and Roxy is kinda like the John of the team where she isn’t even gonna acknowledge the possibility of problems #girl is like “problems? haha not me #I’m the put together one in this group :)” #and just ignores all her internalized misogyny and heteronormativity #she is a mirror to Vriska in that they both put a lot of emphasis on preforming romanticism as a means of affirming their gender #anyway my alpha kid readings are way too boring so I feel like nobody would really be interested in them Sighhhh

[nina-rosa]

(read from left to right →)

🌸 The negligible self 🌸 chapter 1, p.1 to 7

A comic based on a serirei (from mp100) fanfiction written by @homosexual-fanfiction (@/ch_am on Ao3)! Please go read the fanfic there too because it’s really good!!! T v T

I don’t know if I’ll adapt the whole story (even if I really want to!!!) so for now I’ll try to do as much as I can, starting with that first chapter (which is already entirely storyboarded)!

Thanks to Camp for allowing me to draw their story and for helping me while designing some of the settings and Aimi <333 and thank you again for writing such an awesome and inspiring story!!

You can find Camp here too: @ch-am

I hope you’ll enjoy this first bouquet of pages!!💐

Here’s the link to the fic!!

#mob psycho 100 #mp100 #serirei #fanfiction #fanfic #reigen #reigen arataka #serizawa #serizawa katsuya #the negligible self #comic #when I’m reading a fic that I really like it gives me the same kind of feels u have when you’re in love u know?? #(or it makes me want to be in love at least???) #like this excitement you feel in your chest and the urge to put your face in your hands to giggle hdhdhdhjd #anyway I’ll stop being embarrassing now fanfictions are amazing I wish I was able to write stuff like that #(I guess I can draw comics instead so that’s okay?)

[blazingstar400]

Kieran Appreciation Post

So here are a bunch of pictures of my son one of my favorite characters ever.

#pokemon #pokemon sv #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon kieran #trainer kieran #rival kieran #champion kieran #i have waaaay more pics of him i’m serious guys #i would have put those too but then it would be too long and my device probably wouldn’t have been able to upload all that anyways #but yes as you all can see i am very normal about kieran

[twinstxrs]

so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fig faeth #ruben hopclap #lucy frostblade #the rat grinders #adaine abernant #kipperlilly copperkettle #watching fig terrorize him like girl!!! we don’t even know if he’s guilty!!!! #this might just be for me but i do not think 5 teenagers willingly brutally killed their friend idk #like there just has to be some other element to it and i am very scared to find out what that was #what if they were put in a position where they felt there was/there was no other choice… like oh my god #my comedy brain is having fun but my ‘this is a teenager’ brain is in such deep distress all the time this season #the rat grinders i trust brennan to not make u cartoonishly evil so i am holding u as gently as i can in my confused shaky hands #also with the devil’s nectar i’ve been wondering why they all seem so well-adjusted & now i’m curious if they’ve been intentionally- #changing their memories in a way so that either the trauma is lesser or they think they aren’t guilty. idk #but it seems like from how gertie was talking she was making it more recently so the well adjustedness from early jy doesn’t quite add up #they could have another source maybe??? idk i’m just low stakes 4 a.m. spitballing here #there’s also the strong possibility that they’re aware of what happened but they weren’t the ones who killed lucy. idk who knows #the way you could probably devil’s nectar yourself into believing it wasn’t your fault someone died… CRAZY IMPLICATIONS!!! CRAZY IDEA!!! #anyways the bad kids & the rat grinders don’t ever have to like each other but i do wonder if at least some of those kids deserve a chance

[suiheisen]

hot milf in a new disney tv show

#i’m not kidding about the disney show…. apparently they had a shoot with the pens for a new show on disney????????? #anyway #there are kids watching put that hole away… #sidney crosby #pittsburgh penguins

[zukosdualdao]

bryke: “people only shipped zutara because it was dark and intriguing”

me:

#zutara #i am NOT putting this in the main tags lmao #polls found i do have an ounce of self preservation #anyway. many of talked about why they disagree with the assessment of zutara as a ‘dark’ shipa #and also how moralizing shipping in general is Strange #but also. why is intriguing being used as an insult here. curious minds want to know. #(it’s me i’m curious minds) #bryke critical

[fantasykiri5]

RIZ “THE BALL” GUKGAK EVERYBODY 👏👏👏👏👏

(Transparent vers under the cut)

#my art #D20 #d20 fanart #d20 fantasy high #riz gukgak #riz gukgak fanart #fantasy high #fantasy high fanart #fhsy #fhjy #<- this is supposed to be. Between s2 and s3?? He has his late s2 heaven gadgets and new gun design but no haircut #I love his tattoos but I hate his tattoos #they’re so hard to draw it look me like 2 hours just to figure out #anyways here’s my lovely son. The ball. Little shrimp. Private investigator. Dragon slayer. Lame nerd teenager #He’s my stupid favorite it’s so important to me that he canonically has freckles. They’re in merch. His freckles are so important to me #I’m on the s2 finale as of scheduling this I’m having fun. I need to draw the others soon #also Yes I did give him a tooth gap thank you for noticing!!! #The knuckle tats say “night yorb” with an empty thumb on the other hand. I almost put “nite yorb” as a reference to a tumblr user but- #-decided against it

[hazbingirliexoxo]

*On the phone*

Reader: I wanna do bad things to you~😏

Valentino: Oooo yeah? Like what, amorcito?~😈

Reader: Like break your FUCKING NECK and gouge your eyes out and RIP-

Valentino: 😶 *hangs up*

Angel: *recording in the background, dying of laughter*

#angel be like: you’re doing amazin’ dollface😭 #val wouldn’t stand a chance #put reader and niffty up to the task and they’ll get the job done #anything for my spider boy💕 #Vox and velvette be like: yikes…rip I guess? #anyway I’m back on my bullshit with another one of these! #since yall liked the vox one so much #this is from vine god bless🙏🏼 #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin angel dust #hazbin alastor #hazbin husk #hazbin vaggie #hazbin valentino #hazbin vox #nifty hazbin hotel #hazbin charlie #hazbin velvette #hazbin lucifer #hazbin sir pentious #angel dust x reader