#but i think the power dynamic swinging the opposite way would give them a better chance at happiness | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blacksunscorpio · 3 years

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Hey, I'm so happy that I found your blog, your work and dedication are superb, you are such a special human being for helping some many people with their inquiries ❤ I don't know if you had already talked about this but I'd be curious to see your opinion on Pisces descendent

Ascendant/Descendant Axis

In the natal chart, there is an intersection of the Ascendant (Asc)- Descendant (Dsc). These are located in the 1st house and the 7th House. Also known as one of the two “angles” of the chart. They are both Cardinal by nature.

Your ascendant is the mask your wear to the world. Your “face”, essentially. It’s how you project yourself and even how you appear physically/your aesthetic. Like a mirror to the Ascendant, the Descendant reveals the qualities we would like to reflect and project into others. It describes how we feel attracted to other people as well as the traits we also have, but which need to be developed within the self or through relationships. The following can help illustrate the magnetic parallel between the two points and how they reflect yourself vs your relationships.

Aries Ascendant /Libra Descendant

In tight partnerships, one is preoccupied mostly with personal image and can often take the blame if a relationship does not work out. This native often asserts their independence. They prefer to get their own way, and if they don’t there can be displays of anger. Too much pressure for relationship outcomes to go their way can cause disharmony. They want their partner to consider their needs but often, the same is not reciprocated. If a relationship does not maintain their interest, they can move on to the next without a second thought. They need stimulation to keep their interest. This is because they seek excitement. Boredom feels physically painful. They tend to attract partners who let them make the decisions. This can be good because they like taking charge but bad because they don’t care for codependency. They often favor relationships where the partner has some level of independence. They admire strength and integrity. To maintain balanced relationships you must learn to be less self-centered, more sharing, and more considerate of your partner’s needs; then your relationships will be balanced and rewarding.

Libra Ascendant / Aries Descendant

You need to share your life with others in a peaceful and harmonious way but in marriage and other close relationships, you are being taught to stand up for yourself because you can feel dominated by the strength of your partner or other people’s characters. People with this placement often think “I want my needs met but I’m not sure how to do it without rocking the boat or stepping on toes.”

Fuck their toes. You need to learn to become independent and make your own decisions. The good news is, more often than not this will be exercised and learned by proxy via your partner and others. If the lesson to become independent is not learned, the fear of being dominated in close friendships, relationships, and marriage can become self-fulfilling prophecies. If relationships become unbalanced or a sense of diplomacy is not recognized, these natives often do everything in their power to restore said sense of equilibrium and harmony. Take care not to keep going back to unhealthy or toxic relationships because of your deep need to keep the peace. Setting a hard line is integral to keeping you safe from abusers/or relationships where you’re being run rough-shod on.

Taurus Ascendant / Scorpio Descendant

From a very early age, one with this placement might find that others aren’t as forthright as they should be with them. On one hand, their loved ones can show gestures that make these natives feel deeply appreciated but on the other hand, they can feel nebulous over other acts that challenge their sense of security and trust. Native’s are passionate and feel deeply especially once they do fall in love. Depth is something they easily comprehend however, jealousy and/or possessiveness can make them deeply insecure. You have a strong desire to develop your personal resources in order to contribute to close relationships, and you will work very hard to achieve security in any close partnership. They’ll do their best to be supportive of those they love but their sense of stability can be overtaken in the two-way pull of other people’s interests. Lovers who are co-dependent may try to tighten their hold on you when they sense any sign of retreat or independence. This can lead to unhealthy power struggles, manipulation, or a “push-pull” dynamic that can become very unhealthy and at its worst, dangerous. It's imperative to know that you can love and trust. Once this is accomplished, one with this placement can experience and enjoy deep, intense relationships that are at the same time, stable and lasting.

Scorpio Ascendant / Taurus Descendant

With this placement, natives play to your strengths to diminish weaknesses. They do their best to not use their powers for destructive ends. In relationships, they deeply care for others and will often try to provide for their lovers but this can lead to either their partners being co-dependent and too reliant or they can rely on other people which can deplete inner resources. You are likely incredibly influential among your peers- and it’s important that you pull away from the urges to use this for your own material gain exclusively. They are in a constant state of evolution and learning. They are never the same person over long periods of time which can cause lovers to not evolve with them. Trust issues live here. They often shield themselves from their emotions but they will care deeply for the emotions of others. They need to take care not to swing too far one way or the other because they can go to extremes. Shut people out and be unable to relate or overextending themselves. There’s a powerful presence than sort of emanates off of you but that can also cause you to draw in leeches who leave you feeling hurt. You can also have issues with jealousy and possessiveness when you do fall deeply. If you unite your resources equally with your partner and others, then you can have deeply rewarding relationships.

Cancer Ascendant /Capricorn Descendant

This placement requires emotional stability through harmonious family relationships. Quite protective of those you love but in your attempt to protect those you love- they can, by proxy, control you. The partners you attract can be very executive, business-minded, and ambitious. If the proper boundaries aren’t set, they can feel trapped in domestic day-to-day while your lover is out pursuing their own interests. If marriage occurs, they will do their best to nurture it to the best of their ability. They want success in love. They want security in love. There’s a strong need to keep the family close and thick as thieves. Sometimes this even involves sacrificing their own happiness. They may face issues of security and control in their immediate and extended familial ties, included but not limited to their partner’s family or closely associated family connections. It’s important to find balance. You can’t be everything to everyone all the time. If you nurture and care for your family and build your future security with your partner and family, then you will have enduring and long-lasting relationships.

Capricorn Ascendant / Cancer Descendant

Family values are paramount to those with this placement. They’ll base the way they approach said relationships on family conditioning. Look to their relationships with their family for a good look at how they’ll treat you. Your partner may find it difficult to get along with family members which can make things tense...even awkward. You might find yourself the one trying to keep the peace and understand everyone’s feelings. Law and order sort of come in here. At least in your approach to family and relationships. The influences of your partner’s early childhood can have an emotional effect on your relationship with him/her which can leave you trying to keep control in otherwise uncontrollable situations. Often this native will look to their partner to gain support in the familial sense. This works because they have a practical, logical approach to life. Their relationships will mimmick this. If you’re looking to soften your approach, your partner can help you with this as they will typically be the nurturing type. Conflicts in your relationship with your partner can arise when love and affection are denied through family conditioning. Break those chains/generational curses. It only takes one person to change lifetimes of habitual toxicity. The welfare of your relationships should not revolve around confining and limiting rules and regulations. Matters of emotional security and family control will have to be balanced. If you find the balance, love will endure through the difficult times in life. For better or worse, richer or for poorer.

Gemini Ascendant / Sagittarius Descendant

From an early age, Intellectual exchange is paramount. However, approaching the opposite sex might not have been an easy feat. You like to know the very fine detail of your interpersonal relationships. The inner workings and minutiae. Why? Because dialog is important to you. Both Gemini and Sag like to talk. Use their minds. The lower and the higher. This is displayed in relationships. Intellect and reason are utilized when one with this placement faces relationship problems, but with your own freedom in mind. You put a lot of thought into resolving relationship issues. Words are important to you and you operate on that frequency, so those who stimulate your mind are among your favorite to interact with. But your zealous approach to defending your points may come off as dogmatic. You tend to judge situations and give your opinion spontaneously which can lead to hastiness in others’ reactions towards you. Your nature is to sort out problems through gaining as much information as you can in order to reach intelligent conclusions. However, too much mental sparring can lead to hard feelings between you and your lover if things are left to go overboard. Here lives a sapiosexual. One who is turned on my knowledge and intelligence. A fair soul lives here. Or at least, one who strives to be. It’s imperative to look beyond your own opinions and give credit to others' opinions, then you will have balanced and rewarding relationships.

Sagittarius Ascendant / Gemini Descendant

Being confined is not your forte. In fact, you refuse to be. By anyone. The free spirit of Mercury and the expansion mindedness of Jupiter are living together here. This is the type of person that may often do the “Irish Exit” at a social event. Your partnerships often being mental. Through dialogue and interaction on a thoughtful level. However at times due to Jupiter’s penchant for excessiveness, your opinion can dominant conversations which can leave your partner feeling resentful. Your nature is fire. And just as your relationships are lively, dramatic, and exciting, the confrontations can be as well. Appreciations for others' opinions and ideas from an objective place can salvage relationships when fights and dogma ruffle feathers. Not everything is a personal attack. Take care not to jump to conclusions as this placement has a tendency to do so. Preachiness when not monitored can turn partners/friends off. Expect a “tell it like it is” approach here. Sometimes the native can be so strong-minded tact is often forgotten. Relationships are strongest when one remains free-spirited, optimistic, and understanding. When the mind is satiated and free thought is encouraged, your relationships will prosper.

Leo Ascendant / Aquarius Descendant

The kind of love this native thrives on is all-encompassing. They want to feel adored but affection can also take a more detached vibe. There’s a deep warmth to you and your love for people in general, the collective, and beyond is hard to miss. one with this placement may know many people. Get along with many and have a large social network. Your partner may be starkly different in that sense. They may have a completely different social circle. At times you may feel your light doesn’t shine. You can be the one to take initiative and set plans between you and those you love. You often have to operate on your partner’s wavelength to understand their thoughts or get yours across. Though it’s almost second nature for you to befriend people, only the meaningful and worthwhile connections are save for your partner to be witness to. Your partner is more detached than you so it can frustrate you when you've seen as the type to put on a show by them. They will opt to walk away and not engage in conflict to keep the peace. When you were young, you had a vision of all-consuming love, but you may feel life has dealt you a raw deal, often giving you the opposite of what you crave. However, if you find the balance in friendship and love, your partner can be your best friend and everything you could wish for.

Aquarius Ascendant / Leo Descendant

You look at life through a kaleidoscope lens. Nothing is black and white to you. You give free thought and entertain multiple perspectives and enjoy engaging with others who do the same. You like to look at everything from different angles. You need the freedom to pursue your own community interests and goals outside your relationships, but this can lead to difficulties within your relationships. Though you can understand and identify with emotion, you do not live in this space. Your emotions are detached and you see everything from an objective point of view. Your amiable manner attracts large groups of people but your partner may try to get you to be more emotional. This is something you’re not readily comfortable with. Be careful because they can take your desire for space as disinterest. They can mistake your free-loving nature for abandonment. Balance is needed in regard to your partner's interests and yours, otherwise, relationships may feel unlively and lackluster. You’ll be craving something else or more excitement. However, you’ll be very loyal as long as your partner respects the fact that emotional displays and dramatics will have the adverse effect they’re seeking. Keep it real. And don’t forget to sympathize.

Virgo Ascendant / Pisces Descendant

In love and partnerships, you may see the “idealized” version you've created for others rather than the reality of them. This includes but is not limited to, placing them on pedestals, or pinning fantasies on them that they may not live up to. This can cause you to feel disillusioned if balance isn’t met. Be compassionate with yourself just as you are compassionate and sensitive in your personal life. Health and/or work issues or issues having very much to do with the 6th house may present themselves in the love life. You have a natural penchant to set very high and at times impossible standards for yourself. You also love to set a pristine environment for your lover or those you love in general. You love to organize which your partner will appreciate. Partners may show your love by giving you creative gifts or even serenading you. You may even attract an occasional crooner/musician/artist. High expectations are natural for you to have in relationships- so much so that if the object of your affections doesn’t meet them, you can criticize them. However because you are service and work minded, you’ll often stay dedicated to your relationships. Your life is one of service. You may often have a savior complex or others may perceive you as someone who can “rescue” them. You attract the down-and-out types. An underdog. Take care not to allow yourself to be the martyr as you often put others’ needs ahead of your own. Do not allow this to go too far or else sentiments of resentment and being “taken advantage” of may rear their heads. If you stay organized and learn to be realistic in how you demonstrate and expect to receive love, setting firm boundaries while being compassionate as well, your relationships will thrive and stay on the healthy road.

Pisces Ascendant / Virgo Descendant

Your personality can be malleable due to your mutable nature. Sometimes you’ll chameleonize yourself to fit the mold your loved ones want you to fit. This placement can make one impressionable or there can be a mysterious vibe here. However, your interests at work can match those you fall for. Idealism is your strong suit. On the other hand, more often than not, your partner may be a realist and quite diligent at work. You are extremely empathetic, almost to a psychic degree. This is typically why people are drawn to you. You have an uncanny knack for making others feel like individuals. As if they are special. Take care not to try to be everything to everyone or you’ll end up raining your energy stores. Being an idealist, you prefer to avoid conflict as you are more passive by nature. Arguments and beef give you anxiety. Just remember that a practical approach is necessary otherwise you can find yourself jaded. Things can be confusing to you sometimes and you can have a hard time making sense of things because Neptune which dissolves is on your rising. Your out of the box and otherworldly thinking can break down the most regimented person and new solutions can bring harmony and love into your relationships. Natives with this placement need to take care not to allow others to define them. Be your own person. As a result, your relationships will bear healthy fruit.

Nadir/Midheaven Axis in Astrology

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melanielocke · 3 years

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Lost in the Shadows - Chapter 19

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Taglist: @nott-the-best @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised

Previous Chapter: Chapter 18

Next Chapter: Chapter 20

Cordelia and Lucie returned to the lake when Cordelia was finally done training. She looked forward to going for a swim and cool down a little, training all afternoon in the heat might not have been the best idea ever, and she understood Lucie had given up on practicing magic sooner. She had no idea how exhausting it was to open a portal. It looked like Lucie simply asking for favors, but Cordelia expected it was exhausting in its own way, different from swinging a sword. The last time she’d even seen shadows gather around Lucie, although she didn’t think Lucie herself had seen anything. It made Cordelia wonder how her magic worked. Did the darkness come from inside of her? Or did it come from everywhere, finding its way to Lucie? And could it be dangerous? What if such power corrupted people?

It wasn’t that surprising magic tired her though. Alastair’s ability could exhaust him too. As far as Cordelia knew he was always tired, and she wondered if his memory had anything to do with that.

Alastair and Thomas were already there, they’d swum all the way to the island. Cordelia didn’t think Alastair had swum in some time. Cordelia hadn’t either before coming here, mostly because she had struggled so much with finding swimwear she liked that also fit. Boys had it easy when it came to finding swimwear, she thought to herself. All they needed was find a pair of swim shorts that fit around their waist, whereas Cordelia needed a top that fit properly and a bottom that was high waisted enough for her to feel comfortable. She knew it was stupid, but she didn’t like wearing something that bared her stomach. She did enjoy swimming though, now that she could.

They returned just in time for dinner, and Lucie changed into her lounge clothes, which consisted of a very large and long Green Day shirt she wore as a dress, tucked in the waist with a black lint she’d tied into a bow at her side.

‘I’d been wondering where that shirt had gone,’ Thomas said when he saw her.

Cordelia loved that Lucie could look so good in a shirt that apparently belonged to Thomas and was supposed to fit him.

‘I think I asked you if I could borrow it,’ Lucie said.

‘I don’t remember that,’ Thomas said.

‘It was several months ago, so that could be why you don’t remember.’

‘Are you going to give it back at some point?’ Thomas asked.

Lucie shrugged. ‘Maybe,’ she said.

Thomas sighed. ‘At least Barbara has a boyfriend she can steal clothes from now. Sometimes I feel like my closet is a free for all.’

Cordelia didn’t think Alastair was the type to steal Thomas’ clothes, he always dressed in well fitting clothes, eager to impress. She guessed Thomas’ shirts and sweaters had to be comfortable, but Cordelia didn’t like to wear clothes that were baggy and oversized. Cordelia always felt like they made her look much bigger, and being both muscular and chubby had caused some issues with her body image.

Thomas returned to his parents after dinner, and Alastair went to his room. Cordelia followed him upstairs while Lucie was writing. She’d been meaning to talk to him.

Alastair was cleaning up in his room. She didn’t think it could get any cleaner, yet here Alastair was, carefully rearranging his bed.

‘Did you want to ask something?’ he asked without looking up from changing the bed sheets.

‘I did, can I come in?’

‘Sure, but give me a moment to finish this. Thomas is coming to sleep over tonight,’ Alastair said, ‘I figured I’d change the bed sheets and add an extra pillow.’

‘That’s sweet of him,’ Cordelia said.

‘It is. Thomas said he wanted to protect me from nightmares. I don’t think that’ll work but I’m learning to feel safe around him.’

Cordelia knew to Alastair, a sense of safety was hard to come by. He’d been unsafe for so long he struggled to recognize when he was safe and loved. They’d been working on that together, Cordelia trying to figure out the best ways to support him and make him feel safe, ways to help him through flashbacks and panic attacks. It had taken some time, but Alastair had slowly started trusting her with his feelings.

‘What did you want to talk about?’ Alastair asked.

‘I think I’m in love with Lucie,’ she confessed.

Cordelia had been close to Lucie for a long time, she struggled to tell the difference between their friendship and falling in love, but lately she’d started to suspect what she felt was romantic love.

Alastair grinned. ‘Well, that means your taste in women is decidedly better than your taste in men. Do you think she likes you?’

‘I don’t know. I know she likes girls, but I’m not sure she likes me.’

‘Isn’t her story about you titled the Beautiful Cordelia?’ Alastair asked.

Cordelia tilted her head. ‘Yes, but I think that’s not so uncommon. I mean, she started writing that story when she was twelve and lots of twelve year old girls write main characters who are constantly described as being exceedingly beautiful and perfect and courageous.’

‘But aren’t many of those characters an idealized version of the author themselves?’ Alastair asked. ‘Lots of twelve year old girls are insecure about how they look and some write themselves as how they wished they looked.’

Cordelia had definitely been insecure, and she knew Alastair was still insecure about his dark features. She often made fun of his dyed blonde hair, which he’d thankfully died back to black, but she knew it was because Alastair was insecure about how he looked as a brown man. His hair was one of the few things about his appearance he could change.

Cordelia had too, she’d been insecure about her brown skin and dark eyes, she’d believed her red hair, a very uncommon feature for an Iranian girl, was the best part about her appearance. But Lucie’s story had dedicated pages to describing the beauty of Cordelia’s brown skin and dark eyes, and Cordelia had read many books written by women of color where girls were celebrated for their brown skin and dark hair and eyes. And she’d read books about fat or mid sized girls written by fat authors where their bodies were celebrated or just not that important in the long run, which had helped Cordelia feel less insecure about her body

‘Lots of twelve year old girls describe their main characters as so skinny people thought they had an eating disorder, but you know that although it’s written in a negative light, it’s supposed to be a compliment,’ Cordelia said. ‘You’re probably right, that the authors wanted to be thinner and therefore wrote their characters that way.’

At twelve, she’d gravitated towards stories with those main characters, because of her own insecurity. At that age she’d barely been able to read books with a fat main character. Of course, most fat girls in books back then hated themselves and could only have a happy ending after losing weight, but Cordelia suspected back then she would not have been able to appreciate books about fat girls loving themselves as she could now. Even though at twelve years old, Cordelia hadn’t even been fat.

‘But Lucie didn’t write an idealized version of herself,’ Alastair said. ‘She wrote about you.’

‘There was a side character called princess Lucinda, who was the fictional version of Lucie,’ Cordelia said. ‘But when it came to descriptions of how characters looked, Cordelia was always the most beautiful girl around and everyone fell in love with her at first sight. And I mean literally everyone.’

‘The obvious explanation would be that she likes you,’ Alastair said.

‘She didn’t realize she liked girls until recently,’ Cordelia said. ‘She started writing the beautiful Cordeliayears ago.’

‘She might not have realized she liked you,’ Alastair said. ‘I’ve never read much from the story, but from what did read, I cannot think of another explanation for this.’

Cordelia had to admit her brother had a point. Still, she was nervous when she returned downstairs to Lucie, who was still writing. She looked up when Cordelia sat down next to her with a book.

‘I introduced Mabel,’ Lucie said. ‘Eloise just fell asleep and woke in the dreamworld, and is trying to figure out where she is and how to get out, and although she doesn’t trust or understand Mabel, they are forced to work together. And Mabel at this point thinks Eloise is just a conceited rich girl. So a bit like Pride and Prejudice.’

Cordelia wondered if she was anything like Mabel and if Eloise was anything like Lucie. Or perhaps the other way around, she wasn’t too familiar with either character yet.

‘I like Pride and Prejudice,’ Cordelia said. ‘So they go from being enemies to being in love?’

‘Not enemies in the sense that they’re on opposite sides or anything, but they do strongly dislike each other at first, which will slowly develop to grudging respect to genuine respect to friendship to I would die for you. It’s a fun dynamic, but difficult to write and space out. And of course Eloise is in the dreamland the whole time, whereas Mabel is only there at night when she’s sleeping.’

‘So, if Mabel can talk to Eloise while they’re asleep and she also wakes up into the real world, could she serve as a line of communication between Eloise and her family?’ Cordelia asked.

Lucie’s eyes lit up. ‘Of course, that’s an excellent idea. Now the first time Mabel visits Eloise’ house, her family doesn’t listen to Mabel, which reinforces her negative beliefs about Eloise, but eventually she gives in and tries again and tells them something only Eloise could have told her and then the family does begin to trust her.’

‘How exhausted does Mabel get from all this?’ Cordelia said. ‘Since she gets to adventure in her sleep?’

‘Well, the adventuring in her sleep does count as sleep,’ Lucie said. ‘But you have a point, it would probably be less restful than normal sleep. Perhaps Eloise’s family can take her in and provide for her family so she can get enough rest to visit the dreamland.’

‘What do your characters look like?’ Cordelia asked. ‘I’m thinking about drawing them for you.’

Cordelia hadn’t drawn in some time, but had brought some art supplies with her. She wasn’t particularly talented, but decent when it came to drawing Lucie’s characters, although she still struggled with drawing men.

‘Oh that would be fantastic,’ Lucie said. ‘I always like to have something to visualize, but I can’t draw a straight line. Alright, so Mabel is from a poor family, and works in a factory to support her family, so she’s going to look a bit dirty and stained. She has dirty blonde hair and brown eyes and freckles and is a little underweight because she struggles to feed herself and her mother and younger siblings.

Eloise on the other hand is from a wealthy family, although her mother was poor, and she wears fancier clothes like the dress Jessamine wears. She has dark brown hair and gray eyes and because she always had enough food and likes sweets, she is fat.

Maybe Mabel judges Eloise for her weight at first, because Mabel is poor herself but I’m thinking that might not go over well to a modern audience.’

Cordelia tilted her head. ‘Maybe not. But it’s nice to have a fat main character, I don’t think there are enough of those.’

Nor were there enough queer main characters, women of color main characters, the list could go on. Cordelia often wished she could see herself more in books, and Lucie understood that. Lucie often recommended her books based on what she was looking for.

‘Yes, exactly,’ Lucie said. ‘And it gives me an opportunity to write away any insecurities I have about gaining weight. One of the great benefits of stealing Thomas’ clothes is that it rarely happens that they suddenly don’t fit anymore.’

Lucie had told her she’d gained some weight over the past year, but as it had happened slowly, Cordelia found it difficult to tell the difference. She and Thomas used to have eating contests together, which was a bit of an odd hobby but both seemed to enjoy it, and Lucie was probably the only one who stood a chance against Thomas, but ever since gaining weight she’d gotten too insecure about it.

Cordelia thought Lucie would look good at any size, and hated how being taught to be insecure had made her give up on a weird but fun hobby.

‘That sounds like a good idea,’ Cordelia said. ‘I’m going to get my art supplies and get started.’

***

Alastair and Thomas were in Alastair’s bed together, in each other’s arms. It was nice, warm, comfortable, Thomas asking every now and then if it was still okay, if he wanted to be kissed, if certain parts of his body were alright for him to touch. Alastair didn’t think he’d ever get enough of this. Thomas’ arms were firm and strong and applied just enough pressure to his body to be comforting.

He was whispering to Thomas in Farsi, terms of endearments he had not imagined using for someone else after Charles.

‘What is it you’re saying?’ Thomas asked. ‘Is that Farsi?’

‘It is,’ Alastair said.

‘What were you saying?’ Thomas asked. ‘Lucie and I tried to learn Farsi for Cordelia, but so far we only learnt a few phrases and my accent is probably terrible.’

‘Likely,’ Alastair agreed, ‘but it’s nice that you’re learning. I could help you.’

Charles had never cared much for his language, or his culture. Of course, at the time Alastair had tried to distance himself from his heritage, all too aware how people treated him for it. He’d thought people would accept him better that way. After all, people often claimed foreigners should adapt to the dominant culture. He knew better now, and loved that Thomas showed an interest in the language.

‘That would be amazing. You are fluent, aren’t you?’

‘My mother mostly spoke Farsi with us at home, and aunt Risa still struggles with English. She understands everything you say, but cannot express herself well enough to feel comfortable, so we always speak Farsi with her. So I’d say Cordelia and I are fluent, yes.’

‘So, what were you just saying for me?’

‘Kharâbetam. I am ruined for you. Nooré cheshm-am. The light of my eyes. Ãtashé del-am. The fire of my heart.’

‘Wow. That all sounds so romantic,’ Thomas said.

‘Farsi endearments can be dramatic, but I like that,’ Alastair said.

‘I’ll try to learn some of those,’ Thomas promised. ‘Learning the language will undoubtedly be easier with a native speaker around.’

Thomas started kissing him again, wrapping his arms around Alastair, still checking if everything was alright. He threw in some terms of endearments of his own, phrases Alastair did not understand, but recognized as Spanish. He remembered Thomas saying his father often spoke Spanish around the house and Thomas was fluent himself. Alastair wasn’t sure what exactly Thomas was saying, but it sounded sweet.

He started to wonder if Thomas wanted to move things along. Part of Alastair wanted to, part of him was scared. Truth to be told, he wasn’t sure what he wanted, and he’d much rather follow Thomas’ lead.

He didn’t realize what was happening at first. Thomas, apparently, did long to move things along, and asked if it would be alright to take off some clothes. Alastair said yes, even if part of him was still scared. It would be fine, he told himself. This was Thomas, who loved him and would stop if Alastair asked him to.

And at first it was amazing. Alastair gently traced the stretch marks on Thomas’ back with his fingers. It must have been hard on the body, to grow so much in only a few years. Thomas used to be so small… He didn’t feel like it was going too fast, he was taking his time admiring Thomas.

And Thomas was still sweet as always, asking what was alright. Alastair said yes to everything. He wanted Thomas, wanted to find out what it could be like with someone who cared for him. But the more intimate their kissing, their exploring each other’s bodies became, the more Alastair was reminded of previous times he’d done this. Stop, he told himself. This wasn’t like it was with Charles. This was Thomas and he was sweet and perfect and would never do anything Alastair wasn’t comfortable with. But he fell back into the memory anyway. It wasn’t real, he told himself. He was here with Thomas, but he couldn’t feel Thomas anymore. Instead, he was with Charles, and he was scared and uncomfortable, but didn’t dare say anything because what if Charles would abandon him? It wasn’t real, he told himself. He’d done something wrong, he felt, Charles had been upset with him most of the evening and Alastair didn’t know why. He couldn’t figure what he’d done wrong, and at the time he’d thought it reasonable to make it up to Charles like this, pushing himself despite his fear and discomfort. Doing whatever he asked for because he’d clearly done something wrong and he wanted to show Charles he loved him. Now Alastair felt shame for allowing all this to happen. He felt Charles’ hands on him, and yelled at him to stop but it was a memory and in the past Alastair had never asked him to stop. There was nothing he could do now, nothing to change the past. In the distance, he heard a voice calling to him. It wasn’t real, he reminded himself. He wasn’t with Charles, he’d done nothing wrong, and he had nothing to make up for.

‘Alastair, are you alright?’

‘Get away from me!’ Alastair yelled and he wasn’t sure if it was directed at Thomas or Charles or both of them.

‘Alastair, what do you need me to do?’

Thomas sounded like he was freaking out, but he was still there. It wasn’t real, he reminded himself. Thomas was real. His bedroom was real. He felt something in his arms, something soft and hairy. He focused on that sensation, stroking the soft thing. Alastair had always had a fondness for soft things, his hedgehog, nice blankets. He loved how it felt under his fingers, how it could put him at ease to stroke his hand over something soft. It was his hedgehog, he realized. Thomas had found Mr. Prickly somewhere between the sheets and shoved it into his arms. It was something to focus on. He held Mr. Prickly against him, stroking it gently, focusing on the sensation underneath his fingers. This was real. He could see the hedgehog. Could see Thomas, asking him to breathe, talking to him.

‘Don’t panic,’ Alastair told Thomas as he sat upright, hedgehog in his lap.

Part of him was tempted to send Thomas away, to not let him see Alastair like this. He wanted to yell at him to get out of here and retreat into his protective shell, but what would be the point? Thomas had already seen the worst, nothing to be done about that now. Besides, it would be rude to expect Thomas to sleep on the couch or go back to his parents at this hour. This was a bad idea. He tried to breathe, keeping all his attention on Mr. Prickly. Perhaps he should give trust a try, he told himself. Perhaps he and Thomas could work through this. He knew it was unlikely, but Alastair forced himself to at least give it a try.

‘I’m not panicking,’ Thomas protested. ‘I just really didn’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt you.’

‘This was a good move though,’ Alastair said, cradling Mr. Prickly against him.

‘What happened?’ Thomas asked. ‘Did I do something wrong?’

Alastair sighed, how long until Thomas would give up? He wanted to take this further, he wanted to be able to have sex with Thomas without it reminding him of past times. He was older now, and although he was still scared he also wanted to have sex. And Thomas deserved it, deserved a partner who could satisfy him. Alastair wasn’t so sure he could.

‘It’s not you, eshgham,’ he said slowly. None of this was Thomas’ fault. It was his, for being too broken to be a good lover. ‘You know I have these flashbacks, right?’

‘Yes, I do. Did I do something to trigger a flashback?’

‘I didn’t realize it would happen,’ Alastair said. ‘I thought I was ready. I wanted to sleep with you. But then something reminded me of him, and I fell into a memory. I’m sorry.’

‘It’s nothing to be sorry for. I just don’t want to hurt you,’ Thomas said.

‘I do not always know what will happen,’ Alastair said. ‘One thing that helped me greatly in therapy is learning to identify triggers. Alcohol is an obvious one, of course. But because of Charles, intimacy is also difficult. I thought it would be alright. I was a little nervous, but I also really wanted it.’

‘It’s alright to wait,’ Thomas said. ‘As long as you need. We haven’t even been together that long, and I’m fine just cuddling. If that’s still alright. Honestly the idea of having sex makes me nervous too. You know, since I’ve never done it.’

Alastair could still see a hint of disappointment on Thomas’ face, but right now he just couldn’t. He was so tired, he didn’t think he’d ever feel rested again. He’d had a long day, he reminded himself.

‘You know what, maybe we should go outside,’ Thomas said.

Alastair frowned. ‘Outside?’

What did Thomas have in mind? Cuddling outside in the grass? Alastair imagined it would be cold.

‘I like watching the stars,’ Thomas admitted. ‘When I was young and so sick I had to stay in the hospital, Barbara gifted me some books by Stephen Hawking. Children’s books he’d written with his daughter, not the complicated ones. I had a bit of an obsession with the galaxy then because of these books. It’s very calming, so maybe it’ll help you.’

‘So, you want to watch the stars with me?’ Alastair asked.

‘I could point them all out to you,’ Thomas said. ‘If you like that, I mean. London is too light for stargazing, there’s nothing to see, but here that’s not the case and the sky is very clear tonight. Not a cloud to be seen. Unless you’d rather go to sleep?’

‘I’m not sure I’d be able to fall asleep right now.’

Alastair reluctantly followed Thomas. Will and Tessa were still downstairs, both reading as they often did.

‘We’re going to watch the stars,’ Thomas announced.

Will looked up from his book. ‘Well, enjoy. Don’t stay out too long, it’s cold outside.’

Will was right, it was cold outside. Alastair wished he’d worn something warmer than his pajamas. They sat down on the garden lounge set, Alastair finding a comfortable position sitting in between Thomas’ legs in front of him, laying back against his chest with Thomas’ arms around him. He was exhausted, flashbacks always did that even if he was still too alert to fall asleep. Perhaps after a while he’d doze off here, leaning against Thomas.

‘Do you know how to find the polar star?’ Thomas asked.

‘I’ve heard it had something to do with the bear constellation?’ Alastair asked.

He’d read about this ages ago, but stars had never been a particular interest of his even if he’d had many unusual interests in his youth. He’d read a few things here and there, but barely remembered anything.

‘Yes. That there’s the big bear.’

Alastair tried to look where Thomas was pointing, which was difficult, but he recognized the saucepan shape of the big bear constellation. He’d long been confused why it was called a bear when it clearly resembled a pan or a ladle more, but later he’d learnt there were actually more stars to the constellation, the pan shape was just the brightest.

‘Now you must follow the two stars at the side of the pan shape, into that direction and there’s ursa minor. Although ursa minor doesn’t really look like a bear, it just looks like a smaller version of the saucepan.’

Alastair had to look for a while, but he could find the constellation Thomas described.

‘Now, the end of the pan, that’s Polaris,’ Thomas said proudly. ‘True north. So, if you ever get lost at sea, you now know how to navigate.’

‘If I get lost at sea, I’d probably die of other causes first,’ Alastair said. ‘Dehydration would be the obvious choice.’

‘I guess that’s true. But if you’re lost at sea with a huge supply of water and food that won’t go to waste, then it might be nice to actually know how to navigate.’

‘You think that’ll happen?’ Alastair asked.

‘Oh, probably not,’ Thomas said. ‘But I’ve always liked the idea of finding my own true north. I’m actually planning to get a tattoo. I haven’t told anyone, I’ve been working up the courage to ask my parents.’

‘What kind?’ Alastair asked.

‘A compass,’ Thomas said. ‘But I was thinking of combining it with a flower, a rose I think. I have made a few sketches, I’ll show you someday.’

‘Where did you want to get it?’ Alastair asked.

‘Just here, on my arm.’

Thomas leaned a bit forward, against Alastair’s back, and showed him a spot on his wrist. Alastair mindlessly traced the spot with his fingers, and he could feel Thomas’ shiver beneath his touch. If a subtle touch on his arm could get such a reaction out of him, what would happen when Alastair was able to move things along and have sex with him? He felt another pang of guilt, at being unable to, at wanting to please his partner yet falling into a memory of a previous partner he’d been desperate to satisfy.

‘It’ll look amazing here,’ Alastair said. ‘Do you think your parents will not approve?’

‘Oh I’m thinking they will, they were supportive when Genie wanted to get her nose pierced at least. I know some parents can be absolutely horrified about their children getting tattoos and piercings.’

‘My mother would probably have a heart attack,’ Alastair agreed. ‘When I was fifteen, she caught me smoking in the windowsill. Let’s just say I did not dare smoke again. Which was probably for the best, because quitting now would have been harder than it was then.’

‘I remember you smoking just outside school,’ Thomas said. ‘Back then I thought it was attractive. Now I’m glad you quit, I really wouldn’t want you to get sick because of it.’

‘I wasn’t really occupied with that at fifteen,’ Alastair admitted. ‘I guess I figured I wouldn’t live long enough to get cancer from smoking anyway. But I also didn’t really have the money to keep buying cigarettes, so there’s that. Smoking is a very expensive pastime. And I could breathe much easier after I’d quit and had far better stamina.’

Alastair wasn’t even sure why he’d liked it back then. Part of it was to fit in, sure, but he’d also smoked at home, hanging out of the window so his room wouldn’t smell. Nowadays he found the scent of cigarettes disgusting and overwhelming and he couldn’t imagine ever smoking again.

Thomas pointed out several more stars and constellations for him. ‘That’s Orion,’ he said. ‘With the brightest star, Sirius. The dog star.’

‘Like in the Black family in Harry Potter,’ Alastair said. ‘Looks like a face with a crooked mouth.’

‘I think J.K. Rowling just pulled out a constellation map when she needed names for Black family members,’ Thomas said. ‘Do you like Harry Potter?’

‘I used to,’ Alastair said. ‘But that was before Rowling’s transphobia became widely known. I understand why some people still like the series and separate it from her, but I heavily associate them with the damage she did to trans people.’

‘Understandable,’ Thomas said. ‘Those books were a great comfort to me as a child. Besides the George’s secret key to the universe series.’

‘What was that about?’

‘Those are the space books I mentioned. It’s about a boy named George, whose new neighbor is a scientist with a daughter around his age. He grows closer to the girl and her father, and discovers he has a super computer that can create portals into space. And then there’s an evil former colleague of the scientist who wants to steal the computer. It was very entertaining, but also educational, explaining the universe and the stars and planets in a way that’s understandable for children. And when I could go back to school I told everyone I’d read a book by Stephen Hawking. Of course, at that age half the children had no idea who that was.’

‘That’s just adorable,’ Alastair grinned. ‘Was your teacher at least impressed?’

‘I think so. I think she did suspect I read his children’s books and not his more serious work, but I could tell the others everything about the stars.’

‘I’m getting very cold,’ Alastair said. ‘And sleepy. I could probably fall asleep right here if I wasn’t so cold.’

‘Oh, am I that comfortable?’

‘Don’t let it rise to your head. I’m going to bed, you coming?’

They returned upstairs, both Will and Tessa were still reading and Alastair wondered how long they would keep that up.

They both found a comfortable way to lie down in the bed, and Alastair found it reassuring that Thomas was still here, even if it was difficult to be near someone. Charles wouldn’t have stayed. Charles would not have helped him through a flashback. Charles would have scolded him for being so emotional and left him alone.

‘Good night,’ Thomas said.

‘Good night.’

Alastair slept peacefully that night. Perhaps it was Thomas, perhaps the hedgehog, or perhaps he was simply too tired to still have nightmares. He didn’t feel rested when he woke up the next morning, but he didn’t feel as tired as yesterday either. Thomas was still asleep, his mouth slightly open, clutching the blanket. Alastair was very glad Thomas didn’t snore. He was quiet in his sleep, breathing softly.

Alastair checked the time, six in the morning. What a useless time to wake up. No one else would be awake yet, but there was no point in going back to sleep either. He remained in bed, not exactly motivated to get out either. When would Thomas wake up? He was an early riser too, but six was a probably a bit too early. Miraculously he did fall asleep for a bit longer, with a hazy dream he did not remember when he woke up. Seven thirty, which meant he’d gotten another hour and a half of sleep.

Thomas woke around eight, and Alastair was still in bed, contemplating getting up to make breakfast.

‘Did you sleep well?’ Thomas asked, yawning.

‘Well enough,’ Alastair said. He didn’t usually fall back asleep after waking up around six, and had slept about as well as he could. He was still tired though, which didn’t surprise him after yesterday, and unmotivated to get out of bed.

‘I thought so. I woke at some point in the middle of the night and you seemed so peaceful.’

‘I have been told I am very still when I don’t have nightmares,’ Alastair said. ‘When Cordelia and I shared a room, she once thought I might be dead in the middle of the night when I was just sleeping.’

Of course, at the time Cordelia hadn’t quite understood his mental illness yet and feared he might be suicidal. She’s panicked and woken him up to make sure he wasn’t dead, and Alastair had assured her he had no intention of leaving her alone.

‘I didn’t think you were dead,’ Thomas said. ‘Just at peace for a change. So, do you feel rested?’

‘As I said, I never feel rested,’ Alastair said. ‘But I feel like I can face the day, and that’s good enough.’

‘Maybe someday,’ Thomas said. ‘I liked sleeping next to you and I do feel rested.’

Alastair groaned. ‘Of course you do. So, if you have an endless supply of energy for the day, you would have no issue making me breakfast.’

‘For sure,’ Thomas said to Alastair’s surprise and he got out of bed. ‘Do you want toast? ’

‘And coffee,’ Alastair said.

‘Maybe you would be less tired without the coffee,’ Thomas said.

Alastair frowned. ‘What are you talking about, coffee is what keeps me alive.’

‘Yes, but frequently drinking coffee builds tolerance. Drinking lots of coffee regularly won’t make you more energetic, it only makes you more tired when you don’t drink coffee.’

Alastair fell back onto the bed. ‘I still want coffee,’ he said, not willing to give in and admit Thomas was right.

‘Alright, coffee it is,’ Thomas said and he changed out of his pajamas.

Alastair took his time to admire the view until Thomas put on his shirt. He still found it hard to believe that this Thomas was the same small boy who’d followed him around years ago.

He didn’t get out of bed until Thomas returned to announce he’d made breakfast. Part of Alastair had still expected him to only make his own breakfast, but when Alastair was dressed and entered the kitchen, there was a cup of coffee and some toast with jam finished.

Thomas was sipping from a cup of English tea. ‘Do you want milk or sugar in your coffee?’

‘No,’ Alastair said. ‘I just drink it black.’

‘I’ve never liked coffee,’ Thomas said. ‘I think it tastes terrible.’

‘It does taste terrible. It’s supposed to be terrible. But at this point I’ve drunk so much coffee that I tolerate the taste. I need it for energy.’

‘I prefer tea myself.’

‘That’s not tea,’ Alastair said. ‘That’s an abomination.’

Thomas stared at him.

‘Wait until I introduce you to my mother,’ Alastair said. ‘She makes the best rose tea you’ve ever tasted. You’ll never drink that stuff again.’

‘Rose tea?’ Thomas said.

‘It is common in Iran to add rose petals when making tea. Tea is a very popular drink, and my mother is very precise on how she makes her tea,’ Alastair explained. ‘Just tell her you like her tea and she’ll adore you.’

‘That’s good to know,’ Thomas said before taking another sip of his English tea.

‘Risa is more critical though,’ Alastair added. ‘She might not be so impressed.’

When Cordelia had dated James, his mother had instantly adored James because he was polite and loved her tea. Risa had not been impressed at all and had not been afraid to let it show. All English people were polite after all and it was often only a façade. Alastair hoped she would treat Thomas better.

‘Maybe we should work on your Farsi before meeting Risa,’ Alastair added. ‘If you speak Farsi with her she’ll probably like you.’

‘That sounds promising,’ Thomas said.

‘You’re up early,’ said a sleepy voice.

Cordelia was still wearing her pajamas, her red hair tangled and messy.

‘As you well know, I’m always up early,’ Alastair said.

Cordelia nodded. ‘Are you ready to go find a selkie skin?’

#Cordelia Carstairs #Lucie Herondale #Alastair Carstairs #Thomas Lightwood #Thomastair #Lucelia #fanfiction #the last hours #tlh

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everything-laito · 3 years

Text

Hypersexuality and Laito Sakamaki (UPDATED)

Hiya guys! Been a long ass time since I’ve made a post like this, I’ve been getting so much ask box activity + had school so I haven’t had the time to make an original post! This has been something I wanted to write for a while, and not only was I busy with school, but this one hits home hard to me personally, so I was going back and forth for a bit writing it. But I think I’m ready :)

I know there’s kind of a general consensus that anything DL related comes along with a trigger warning whether stated or not, but just a TW considering I’ll be talking about some real life experiences; not in depth or detail of course, but just mentions of it :) Not only is this a Laito analysis but it’s also an educational tool to help other people know about this!

So, without further ado, rant under the cut!

Hypersexuality is something that many sexual assault/harassment and rape survivors experience after the abuse. People associate asexuality or sexual repulsion as the only (or common) psychological affect after experiencing those situations. However, there is another affect that can happen, and it is more common than people think, and aforementioned, it’s hypersexuality. It’s basically having more sexual feeling and urges after the experience, in order to cope with the nonconsensual one. And it’s exactly what Laito experienced after Cordelia’s abuse.

I’ve also experienced something like this. I don’t believe I’ve experienced it in full swing, but definitely something like it. I haven’t been raped thankfully, but I have been sexually harassed/assaulted before a handful of times. I know I’ve briefly mentioned that in other analyses, but I’m just explicitly stating it here.

I first learned about hypersexuality this year actually, and my Laito nerd brain was like “holy shit that’s the name of what Laito is going through.” Then I was like “oh fuck I’ve gone through that a little bit too.” I thought going along with would help me “heal” myself, and it really was doing the opposite. (UPDATE: realized that what I thought was a lot of sexual trauma/hypersexuality was mostly compulsory heterosexuality (but still with those dabbled in too—quite a terrible combo) because last month I realized I’m not attracted to men! Although those experiences I mentioned did mess me up a bit, realizing this is a huge step in the right direction for my own mental well being. Just had to make this correction on my part, since the original post had more emotional investment than I would have liked it to :))

Like I have said in my little update, I realized I was going through mostly compulsory heterosexuality while also going through some minor sexual trauma/hypersexuality. Although again, I have not had it as bad as Laito has or other sexual assault survivors (which I am grateful for that), I still have a personal grasp of coping mechanisms with traumatic experiences or experiences I did not particularly enjoy. (If you are interested in learning more about compulsory heterosexuality, feel free to send me an ask! I just don’t feel that it’s appropriate to talk about it in regards to Laito or make a post about it, since it doesn’t relate to him)

And that’s probably also why I can resonate with Laito so much, at least on that scale, and even if I experienced a grain of what he’s going through. I know he’s fictional but these are definitely real experiences and real feelings.

Laito’s case is a bit different than just feeling overtly sexual. Although he’s trying to heal himself through sex and other intimate actions, he’s also doing it as a type of revenge. He doesn’t like purity, and in fact, he’s quite jealous of it. I’ve heard this is also a pretty human way of coping with this type of abuse, and it is why I love Yui as a character. She’s incredibly strong and sets an example for Laito. This makes Laito jealous yet entertained by her, and that’s also a reason why he probably keeps her around. He also attempts to use Yui as a vessel to avenge his own feelings (even not knowing about Cordelia being in her at first). I personally wasn’t like that, but given the circumstances, there’s definitely people who are. Laito’s character can be so human to me sometimes, its astonishing, despite him being a character, a vampire, and just generally does some wacky or terrible shit.

You could say his hypersexuality could also be similar to typical Pavlovian Conditioning. You’ve probably heard of the whole experiment of training (conditioning) a dog to expect food when they hear a certain sound and thus, his mouth waters. We’re conditioned by a lot of things in our lives, from triggering a “flight or fight” response from this specific ringtone or high school bell. It’s just a built in “routine” our minds utilize to process pattern recognition. I know I say this a lot, but we don’t know how vampire brains in the DL universe compare to human brains (and quite frank, I don’t think we will), so I will just do my typical human brain picking.

In Laito’s case, he was conditioned to “love” Cordelia in a fashion that was incredibly gross. No, I won’t sugar coat it. In my Cordelia/Laito analysis, I talk about how Laito was probably groomed. Grooming is another type of conditioning. Although I don’t believe his grooming was sexual, it definitely “prepares” the victim to be exploited in that fashion later on. It’s to build a false sense of trust to be betrayed. Later on, when Cordelia started having sex with Laito, he became used to it in a “conditioned” fashion. When someone said that Cordelia was calling him, he knew what it was. He also thought it’s what he wanted, even though he knew that he didn’t. I believe I have referenced his MB Dark Prologue monologue before, but not this part of it. Here’s the monologue:

――Who is it that I give my love to? Throwing myself away, I caught the sight of someone Someone I didn’t recognize, Suddenly, I realized I was looking into a mirror. The mirror reflected myself within it. I couldn’t see anything else. I am disgraceful for this greed. I was wearing a visage. What I wanted, certainly was love. It’s not that easy. Because of these words, I suffer. No matter how many times love is said, The only thing that will be important to me, Is only the physical contact and body.

I know I've said it in the Laito/Cordelia analysis, but Laito is visibly confused in his flashbacks. He’s trying to grasp what love is, but then convinces himself that love is physical contact, and not emotional connection, especially near the end. He knows he’s suffering but he is still conditioned to think like this. Same case for people who suffer from hypersexuality.

Although many people do not know why it occurs, it can be a symptom or “side effect” from disorders, medication, and the like. In the sexual trauma case, I believe a main reason is that the person utilizes sex to cope with trauma, or because they are used to sexual acts being forced upon them. That’s where conditioning still comes in. He’s treated as one of her suitors, lovers, or the like. Even as a stand-in for Richter and Karlheinz. He doesn’t consider Cordelia to be his mom until the DF Vampire ending. On top of him not receiving emotional gratification which leads to all sorts of just awful stuff for him, sexual attention is the only type that he receives until Yui comes along. He is used to not having emotional support or connections, which is why physical contact is what he is more “comfortable” with, while at the end of the day it still does not satisfy him.

It creates a positive feedback loop of him being unsatisfied, while being confused about where he’s unsatisfied in, leading to him trying to “fix” himself or avoid his own personal, emotional problems through lust and sex, but then still finding himself not “healing.” Then the cycle continues, enthusing his hyper sexual behavior even more.

I was sent some great articles from @souchiika on the DL discord (thank you so much!) and one of the articles stood out to me, since I did not talk about this type of topic on this blog yet. Here’s the link to the article, and here’s the quote that stood out to me!

Furthermore, indirect effects were also statistically significant, providing support to the hypothesis that depression and guilt would be serial mediators of trauma-hypersexual behavior relations. The paths through depression and guilt have been found to be the most significant with moderate and high indirect effects on hypersexuality. Moreover, male gender, as covariate variable, is a relevant risk factor for hypersexual behavior.

Hypersexuality is something that is still being researched like I mentioned earlier, but since these findings came out, it definitely makes sense in Laito’s case (and in general). Like I said, Laito does feel unsatisfied and even shameful of his actions, which is more apparent in the beginning of his and Cordelia’s “relationship.” In those flashbacks, he asks himself if this is what he really wants, and although he attempts to force himself to like these actions as a coping mechanism, there is still a relative degree of shame and guilt he has. It is also apparent nearing his DF Ecstacy ending when he finds out that Karlheinz foresaw Cordelia having sex with him, and even wanted it to happen. All that shame and guilt came bellowing out while he was in a fit of distress. In initial attempts to mediate this guilt and shame, he projected his feelings onto other women through sexual acts, leading to more of this hypersexual loop. I know I talk about Laito projecting a lot, but it is frequent in his character. Like I’ve always said, it’s typical “bully” power dynamic manipulation. If Laito can bring a victim of his down to his level, then he feels better about himself (but it satisfies him for only a short while, until Yui in MB+).

Also, note that this is no excuse or justification for him to rape or sexually assault others. It is merely an explanation as to why he does it (as for my posts in general, it’s not a justification, it’s an explanation).

Another reminder that rape and sexual assault isn’t about the sexual urges, but about power. That’s why anybody with any background can do it, given the circumstances.

This post was a bit hard for me to write, so I apologize if I got too overtly personal for your liking. Like I’ve said in the past, I’m not writing this to gain sympathy too, and sure that sounds superficial of me to say now (although I truly mean it), I just want to use my platform as an educational tool. Sorry about the change in my typical tone :)

Sorry if this was too much of a doozy, I really wanted to talk about it and to educate people, despite it being a bit personal. I just felt like the most effective way was to convey how real this topic is, despite this fandom knowing about it in a fictional setting.

I hope you have a great day! -Corn

#analysis #laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #corn gets personal #sakamaki raito #raito sakamaki #diabolik lovers #dialover #dialovers #dl

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ishouldnotbhere · 3 years

Note

the build-up of barou’s king moment 😩 i know it’s just around the corner aaaaaa and how amazing of aiku’s flow to be activated by everyone’s individual plays and (almost) flow moments?? captain ought to show off before blue lock ends them (?) CANT WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK

AAAAAAH IKR omg I love how Barou just does not give a flying fuck what people think! Somehow I wish we could see the midfielders’ and strikers’ (Sae’s and Shidou’s) reactions to Blue Lock’s offenses??!

It’s weird because you would think Barou and Shidou would be similar in terms of their unpredictability and spontaneity, but Barou’s behavior actually seems to somehow contrast Shidou’s. Compared to how blatantly Barou barrels through others, dismisses their presences, and ignores their contributions to the team play, Shidou, weirdly enough, is much more… cooperative. It’s incomprehensible to even conceive of Shidou as a collaborative dude, but there’s evidence to demonstrate it. He butts heads with Rin, who is unwilling to acknowledge Isagi’s quick thinking on the field, because unlike Rin, Shidou truly enjoys good soccer. Unlike the others, who all have their own motives unrelated to soccer (Reo’s attachment to Nagi, Rin’s desire to outmatch his brother, even Kunigami’s goal to be a “hero”, etc.), Shidou’s interest is decidedly pure. Untainted. It’s just fundamentally, unabashedly, soccer. He loves the game fiercely. That’s all the reason he needs to play it.

Shidou just expresses his passion in a crude way (the whole “seed” and “womb” and “breeding” analogy). And yeah, it’s fucking weird, but it just goes to show Shidou basks in soccer at its core—a team-based sport in which the greater the individual talent, the more vibrant the outcome. And Shidou loves that. He acknowledges teammates who bring that dynamism to the game, who invigorate it, and it excites him even more to integrate it. His sexuality is soccer basically, lmao. I see him as the kind of person who’s willing to date anyone of any gender as long they’re good (as per his standards) at the sport. It’s why he’s more than happy to give Isagi the spotlight, back when he was in Blue Lock. It’s why he plays synergistically with Sae, and lets Sae take the lead, because he greatly admires Sae’s strategy and ability. Shidou really is quite animalistic and childlike in nature, but not in a bad way. His basest instincts are grounded in soccer. All someone needs to do is ignite or peak his curiosity, and he’ll be all over them.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever watched Hunter x Hunter, but Shidou sort of reminds me of Gon. Gon gets a lot of bad rep from the fandom, but what people forget is that Gon was literally just a child raised in isolation from the rest of the world. So his overtly extreme, violent reactions to traumatic events stems from the fact that his undeveloped, childhood insecurities, which had yet to mature, were now buttressed by incredible power that no child could understand, manage, or even ought to have. In the same way, Gon’s immediate attachment to new friends who match his level of talent arises from an essential lack of familial support throughout his growing years. While I’m not saying that Shidou actually had that sort of upbringing, his instantaneous bonds with players of similar capability, as well as his erratic mood swings between things which pique his interest and things which don’t, mirror that sort of childlike immaturity. But they’re not irrational. They can be explained (if not justified); they’re amoral, rather than immoral. It’s kind of sad, then, the way everyone treats Shidou as some sort of demon, when in fact his passion for soccer is the clearest out of everyone else’s.

Man, do I want Shidou’s backstory already.

Barou, on the other hand, is a beast of his own caliber. This guy is, weirdly enough, worse than Shidou because there’s no fucking possibility he’s going to play nice with anyone else on his team. I feel he truly embodies the spirit of “ego” Ego was trying to instill in Blue Lock. Barou’s connection to soccer is the precise opposite of Shidou’s; the other end of the spectrum: if Shidou’s is unadulterated (“soccer for soccer’s sake”), Barou’s is wholly selfish (“soccer for my sake”). Unlike Reo, Nagi, Kunigami, Isagi, Bachira, Rin, or literally anybody else, there was no sense of human attachment or feeling of personal insecurity that sparked Barou’s passion for soccer. His backstory proves that the literal reason Barou likes soccer was, well, he was just better than everybody else. I’m the King. I’m the only one who belongs, and all of you will bow. Which, of course, is not how soccer, or any team-based sport for that matter, works, and that’s why he’s going to come in clutch for Blue Lock. He’s a singularity, and he’s single-handedly going to rock the game off its course. The thing about experts going head-to-head is that experts know what the other might play. What is truly fearsome is the beginner, and the person who either doesn’t know or doesn’t care about the rules. I, for one, am so excited to see this match unfold!

#this is another essay about MY MAN THE KING #I love this man so much and I love seeing your asks in my inbox whenever another chapter comes out AAAAAAH I love talking about it #OH and I totally forgot to address OLIVER AIKU MY OTHER MAN #Oliver is such a fucking boss imo i LOVE defense UGH #I feel bad because I always feel this sense of relief whenever Oliver’s able to block a shot by Blue Lock lol #this man single-handedly carrying his entire team’s defense #while U20’s offense has the privilege of two people carrying it #I want to see this man screw Isagi over badly just to have more extremely dubiously homoerotic content between them #pls let me know your thoughts I’m so hyped omg #blue lock #my post #my god this is so fucking long

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apprenticevida · 3 years

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Let Us Love You 🍋🔞

Word count: 1710

Pairings: Vida/Asra/Julian

Synopsis: uhhh a wild Julian appears!

Notes: Continuing directly after Leave A Mark. @midsummer-masquerade day 2 Role Reversal, Overstimulation

Warnings: Lemon, minors dni, threesome, enthusiastic bjs, power dynamics

Vida is about to announce that they’re ready to go back out when a familiar voice breaks the silence.

“Here you are!” Julian crows as he opens the door. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. It’s lucky that ‘the witch with the antlers’ and ‘white-haired magician’ aren’t common costumes tonight.”

“So lucky!” Vida responds as they adjust their mask. They crack a broad smile when they see Julian’s costume.

“Oh!! You two have dressed to match!”

“I won’t confirm or deny that it was intentional.” Asra sighs from the pillow pile.

“Oh, I need you two to sit together. I have to see the combination!” Vida waves frantically for Julian to join them on the floor.

When Julian folds his long legs together next to Asra’s lounging form, the two deign to pose for Vida.

Asra’s dressed in a flowing amethyst dressing gown, sheer all the way through. Golden piercings through his nipples shine under the gauzy fabric, a delicate T-chain connecting the two to a Venus piercing on their mons.

Julian in comparison is dressed in black. His robe is sheer and cut the same as Asra’s. He isn’t wearing piercings that Vida can see, but he has a thick leather collar around his throat to signify willing submission to any partner at the event. Under his garment is a black mesh thong cupping his cock snugly.

“You’re both so beautiful.” Vida sighs. Their heart goes soft at the blush on their partners’ faces.

Asra resituates themself so their face is resting on Julian’s lap.

“Have you had fun tonight, dear?” He asks the doctor.

“Oodles.” Julian smirks in response. “It’s amazing all these people who’ve shown up. Did you know there’s a pirate queen here?”

“Ooh!” Vida coos in delight as they curl up against Julian on the side opposite Asra. “Do you know her?”

“I don’t kiss and tell, Vidotchka,” is the doctor’s only response.

The trio continue to gossip about the people they’ve seen at the party, who’s done whom, and eventually the conversation turns to power dynamics.

“I don’t know,” Julian sighs. “I don’t think I’m really the ‘domming’ type.

“I bet you could.” Vida takes a long draw from the hookah mouthpiece and blows smoke hearts into the air. “You’re a quick learner. How many times have you let me and Asra boss you around?”

“I’ve always excelled at following orders. It’s like second nature.”

Asra snorts in response, sitting up to stretch their neck. “You only ‘follow orders’ when it’s something you would have done anyway.”

Julian cries out, the back of his hand against his forehead in mourning. “Oh! You wound me, Asra! My honor is besmirched!” Julian’s melodramatic response leaves Vida laughing.

“Okay, I’ll bite.” They set the hose in its place and crawl onto the doctor’s lap. “I command you to dominate us.”

Julian’s eye goes wide as Vida drapes their arms over his shoulders.

“T-that’s cheating!”

“What’s that phrase? All’s fair in love and war?” Asra stretches their arms above their head, letting their joints crack as they settle in place.

“Oh come now, two against one is hardly fair!”

“I’d say it’s positively democratic, don’t you agree, Asra?”

“Oh yes,” that beautiful smug smile returns. “Majority rules that you should rule over the majority.”

Julian grumbles something Vida and Asra can’t make out, but he tenderly caresses Vida’s hips with his thumbs.

“Cariño, won’t you tell us how to please you?” Vida punctuates their question with a roll of their hips. Julian can only groan in response, hiding his blushing face in the junction of Vida’s neck and shoulder. His grip tightens as he tries to keep his composure.

“Come on, Ilya,” Asra goads. “What would you command of your humble servants?”

Julian mumbles something in Vida’s neck, the vibrations causing them to twitch at the tickling sensation. They have to pull his head away to compose themselves.

“What did you say, Cariño?”

Julian’s blush is evident across his face from his ears to his neck, and he can’t quite make eye contact with either of his partners. “Do you… do you really want to put me in charge?”

“Yes!” Vida and Asra respond in unison.

“I- okay. Okay just give me a minute.” Julian extricates himself from under Vida to stand above the two magicians.

“You can’t be so close already!” Asra teases. “We’ve barely started. I haven’t even touched you.”

“Asra, you can’t talk like that!” Vida chides with a mirthful laugh. “We’re ‘humble servants’ not petulant brats.”

“R-right. Just as they said.” Their doctor nods. “I-I’m in charge here.”

No one laughs as his voice cracks, but his ‘submissives’ don’t hide their smiles.

They weren’t going to make this easy on him.

“Okay.” Julian lets out a breath. “Okay. First… First off: you two need to stop staring at me.” He clasps his hand against the lower half of his face in an attempt to hide his embarrassment.

Both obey. Vida smiles, biting their lower lip as they close their eyes. Asra decides to study the pattern of the cushion’s embroidery.

“Uhm… kneel facing each other.” Julian starts again. “Stare deeply into each other’s eyes.”

Again, his partners follow his command. Vida is absolutely giddy with the prospect, wriggling in their seat with a toothy grin. Asra remains as infuriatingly composed as ever.

“Now… start undressing each other.” Julian can’t help the creeping warmth forming in his face. “Slowly!” He adds.

Asra starts to unlace the ties of Vida’s corset as they pull the drawstring of his dressing gown. Their pace is painstakingly slow, as if to further tease the man commanding them.

When both are free from their meager coverings, it takes a moment for Julian to realize their waiting for his next order. He may have been distracted with the view before him.

“Oh! Right.” He wants so badly to do well. “Now kiss.”

“How?” Asra asks, not breaking eye contact with Vida.

“I— pardon?”

“How would you have us kiss?” Vida clarifies.

“Like this?” Asra places a chaste kiss on Vida’s lips.

“Or like this?” Vida offers before plunging their tongue into Asra’s mouth, moaning obscenely as Asra responds in kind.

“Th- the second one…” is all Julian can say in response. He steps back to find a bottle of liquor before taking a swing from the bottle. “The second one.” He repeats more firmly after swallowing the strong drink.

“Are you sure you want us only focusing on each other?” Asra asks when they’ve finished. “Don’t you want us to please you?”

Julian’s head is swimming in arousal. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He doesn’t know where to go next.

“Master?” Vida sighs. Again, it takes Julian a moment to realize they’re talking to him. “Won’t you let us love you?”

“I… uhm that is…”

He’s floundering. His mouth has gone dry. He didn’t plan for this, how could he? He wasn’t someone to take charge. His place was to follow orders, not give them!

Vida breaks character first, turning to look at the doctor with concern in their eyes.

“Cariño?”

He can’t let them down.

“Did I tell you to look at me?” Julian scrounges for what modicum of dominance he can manage.

It works. Vida blinks once, twice, before turning back to face Asra.

“No, sir.” They breathlessly respond. Their cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink and Julian notices their nipples harden. He’s doing something right, he decides.

“Next,” Julian begins to undress himself. “You’re both going to suck me off.”

It’s impossible to miss his partners’ responses. Vida’s eyes and grin widen at Asra, whose face has blushed beautifully. Vida gets up first, pulling their magician with them.

When they kneel at Julian’s feet, Vida is doe-eyed with their mouth open and Asra looks up at him from under their white eyelashes.

“Go on then.” Julian swallows as he fists his cock, precome beading at the tip.

Vida licks from his base to his tip and Asra sucks at his balls. The two work at a steady rhythm. When Vida wraps their red lips around the tip of his cock they moan.

“I love the way you taste, Master.” They sigh before wordlessly switching places with Asra.

Each has their own way of going about their tasks.

Asra isn’t afraid to use teeth and force. In fact, they seem to relish it. He’s intimately familiar with Julian’s love of pain and uses this knowledge to his advantage.

Vida is more gentle but enthusiastic. They pepper Julian’s member with kisses and licks and he has to pull them back when they try to deepthroat his cock or take both his balls in their mouth.

He wants to prolong this feeling, but with his lovers double-teaming him like this he feels that familiar heat begin to overwhelm him.

Vida and Asra each take one of his hands, interlacing fingers, and in tandem each lick a long line along Julian’s cock from base to tip. When their tongues meet they kiss each other passionately and Julian comes at the sight. He doesn’t mean to, he wanted to warn them, but his love and arousal take over his common sense.

Neither seem to mind. Instead each licks the other’s face clean before going back to focus on Julian. His brain shuts down and his knees buckle. Their mouths, their touch, and (he’s certain) their magic are too much.

He’s certain he’s blacked out from overstimulation. When he comes back to himself he’s in Vida’s lap. They’re humming under their breath and stroking his hair. Asra is finishing up cleaning Julian and places a gentle kiss on his abdomen.

“Welcome back.” Asra winks at Julian as he sets aside a rag.

“Cariño, you did wonderfully.” Vida places a kiss on Julian’s forehead, their bare breasts soft against his face.

“R-really?” Julian asks, his uncovered eye hopeful.

“Really.” Asra’s airy voice replies. Their fingers join Vida’s in carding Julian’s hair. “But if you’re going to black out like that every time, I think it’s better if one of us stays in control.”

“I don’t know, Corazón, this might be the best way to get him to actually sleep for once.”

“Or shut him up.”

They can tease all they want, Julian thinks to himself, as long as he’s between them and being loved, it really doesn’t matter.

#the arcana #the arcana game #apprentice vida #fan apprentice #asra alnazar #julian devorak #vesuviaafterdark #baby’s second lemon #midsummer masquerade #arcana midsummer masquerade #fan fiction

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dalekofchaos · 3 years

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My critique of the Sequel Trilogy Lightsaber duels

My biggest problems with the Sequel Trilogy are the blatant rip off and unoriginality, no clear plan at all, lore breaking bullshit, lack of worldbuilding and poor executions of great character concepts. In this post, one of my My biggest gripes with the Sequels is the terrible Lightsaber fights.

The only good duel in my opinion is Finn vs Kylo Ren. This feels raw and powerful. A hardened soldier who has just became familiar to Lightsaber combat vs a trained dark side warrior. Despite Ren's years on training, though, Finn puts up a good fight and is able to hold his own before having his back sliced up. But.....that's what kills the fight for me. Finn's injuries. If this were in the first 6 movies or anywhere in the EU, Finn would be in a wheelchair or in a bacta tank for life. And guess what? A movie later and Finn’s injuries are never brought up again or treated with any severity.

Like Finn’s injuries, Finn’s rivalry with Kylo Ren is dropped for no reason whatsoever and never mentioned again. Finn and Kylo Ren are narrative foils, yet after TFA it’s dropped??? From the start they have been prominent foils to each other: dark from light and light from dark, both in the First Order but in drastically different positions. And Kylo too obviously has strong feelings about his defection. I also believe that Finn is the awakening in the force that Kylo and Snoke felt. Perhaps that is why Kylo focused on Finn and is so angry about him. Finn is also the first person to use the legacy lightsaber and is the first to actually fight Kylo. TLJ could've focused on Finn and Kylo being narrative foils having a force connection and Kylo wondering why Finn would switch to the Resistance while Finn wonders why Kylo joined The First Order and Rey standing in the middle of it all wondering with the new realization that her family has a mixed past of good and evil and her questioning where exactly does she belong? The way at the height of tfa when Kylo Ren rejected Han Solo’s offer for redemption and killed him he looked over and noticed Finn. Like they both locked eyes and in that moment was a surge of emotions between them— shock (and some fear) on Finn’s end, and anger on Kylo’s as he shouts at Finn that he’s a traitor— and those circumstances set Finn and Kylo up to be the dynamic for the sequel trilogy. They were foils, and the trilogy had the potential to truly expand on that and see their development in a final standoff/rematch at the very end. But it was wasted, because why have good movies.

Rey vs Kylo Ren. This duel was bullshit from start to finish. Okay, I don't care how force sensitive she is. I don't care that she downloaded Kylo's abilities in the interrogation. ANd I don't give a fuck WHO she turned out to be related to. If you are thrown into a tree, you are gonna be out for at least an hour. I will hand it to them that it feels like a genuine fight, but it just feels cheap when Rey won. It also doesn't make it any better that Kylo's injuries doesn't force him to wear the helmet at all times, his facial wounds are non-consequential. Rey has no prior training. Never held a lightsaber. Rey fighting off thieves with her quarterstaff is not the same thing, it is understandable that Kylo was struggling because of his injuries, but Rey didn’t struggle against Kylo. Even Luke struggled with Vader and Anakin struggled with Dooku. What should have happened is as it looks like Kylo is about to win, Chewie from the Falcon fires his bowcaster to keep Ren at bay and both Rey and Finn make it to the Falcon. This way we can keep Kylo Ren strong and show Rey struggling to overcome Kylo. It will also show This is how powerful he is when injured, so imagine him at his peak. Instead we get a pointless fight instead of Rey and Finn just escaping Starkiller base while Ren collapses due to injuries and Rey beating Kylo served no purpose(the end goal to destroy Starkiller Base was already accomplished) and helped derail their villain of the trilogy.

The Throne Room Duel. Everyone knew that Rey and Kylo would kill the Praetorian Guards. This is a fight with absolutely zero stakes. It's one thing if Rey and Kylo dueled Snoke himself, that might be a good fight. But come on, did anyone REALLY think they would lose? There is no tension in the scene and it is pointless. Kylo Ren and Rey are fighting a faceless a group of guards that we know absolutely nothing about and have literally no purpose in the entire story except for this one fight. We know neither of the characters are going to die because these are just faceless red shirts and there is still like 30 to 40 minutes left of the movie. Terrible editing takes away any enjoyment one might have with the fight choreography, if you've got to literally photoshop out the bad guys weapons in post production to not look stupid you might need to recoreograph the shot. There are multiple times where Rey, Kylo and the guards are just doing motions and actions because they look cool but serve no purpose but to look cool. Kylo stabbing the ground? Pointless. Rey twirling her rave stick around while someone falls behind her, pointless. Not even once do we see them displaying their powers is what cheapens the fight. Kylo Ren is powerful enough to freeze a blaster and a person in place and Rey herself unlocked Kylo’s powers, so the two of them could have easily ended the fight sooner than it was dragged out. Kylo is powerful in the force but he SERIOUSLY could not stop a Praetorian Guard choke holding him and Rey struggled with a guard? Rey and Kylo were stronger in TFA and are just made weaker in the duel with the Praetorian Guards. Kylo could have frozen half of the guards and Rey could have mind tricked the other half into killing the frozen guards and Kylo and Rey could have finished them. They are masters of light and darkness, but they are made weaker. The throne room scene is a symbolization of everything wrong with the movie. It’s all flash, but no substance and the more you think about it, the worse it gets.

All this duel makes me believe is that Rey and Ben should’ve both switched sides in TLJ. Rey gives in to the dark side and Ben returns home. Rey is the most Sith like character if you obey the rules of George Lucas for Light and Dark sides of the force. Ben Solo is more Jedi like throughout the movie until the end. Let me explain. Rey throughout the sequel trilogy has given in to her passion and anger. In the end of TFA Rey gave in to anger and hate to defeat Kylo. and in TLJ she is shown to use anger and hate throughout the movie. She is shown to as Yoda put it “take the quick and easy path to the dark side” gives in to anger and hate in almost every scene before she boards the Supremacy and gave in to the temptations of the dark side water cave. Her dark side actions in TROS speak for itself. Ben is calm and clear minded like a Jedi, he even wants to cut all ties to attachments like a Jedi. Everything we were told of the Jedi and how disciplined they are, Ben displays that in TLJ until after the Throne room fight. Hell, EVEN THE THRONE ROOM FIGHT SUGGESTS THIS. Think about the fact that Ben really does not move or even engage. He just stands there and dodges and swings once when the guard rushes him. Contrast that to Rey, who is clearly being more aggressive with her lightsaber and attacking rather than just being passive. How again is Rey the Jedi and Kylo is the dark side force user in this movie? They’re fighting in the exact opposite way they should be. Rey fights for the kill while Kylo gets a glancing blow in the armor in the opening fight. Their style of fighting in the Throne Room with the Praetorian Guards really suggests that they should’ve switched sides. What they should have done is have Ben realize that Snoke was evil and shows regret for his actions and turn to the light. While Rey feeling betrayed by Luke and the revelation of her family turns to the dark. This would not only be unexpected but would even rival Vader’s “I am your father” twist. And it would logically follow what we’ve seen of these two characters leading up to this point. Rather than just out of the blue Kylo turns angry and irrational and Rey is calm when Ben was calm and rational throughout the movie and Rey was full of anger and hate throughout this movie. You have them follow an arc that makes sense for their individual personalities. Ben is always calm, but he felt betrayed by those on the light, but he comes to realize that betrayal was an incorrect perception and he desperately wants to make amends to Luke and Leia and therefore he should rejoin what he knows in his heart is good. While Rey is full of passion and anger and as that builds up and she realizes that even the great Jedi Luke Skywalker is a disappointment and her family abandoned her, she knows the only person who can live up to her own expectations is herself and that self-centered attitude leads her to the dark side. That would make sense and we would have something to fight for, save Rey from herself or stop her.

Luke Skywalker and Kylo Ren. Originally, I thought they were gonna have Luke first send the Walkers’ turboblasts right back at them and use the force to bring down the transports, TIEs and the shuttle and then toy with his nephew like Vader did to him and leave Kylo Ren in defeat and his ruined fleet. In a way he did(minus the ruined fleet), but it took away any tension away by having Luke just be a force projection. He wasn't there. His moment with Leia and 3-PO doesn't feel genuine anymore. And the "duel" if you can call it that is just bad. Luke doesn't have his Green Lightsaber and their blades do not clash. A Jedi is all about defense. But a Jedi will also fight in self-defense to defend others. The argument that Luke did the "most Jedi thing ever" is bullshit. A Jedi will stand up for what's right and face the threat. Instead Luke pulled a practical joke and died pointlessly. I mean if he instead pulled the X-Wing out afterwords and told R2 "Come on R2, we've got work to do." I would forgive that and then we could've gotten a genuine master and apprentice relationship between Luke and Rey and a proper reunion between Luke and Leia. But no, he has to die of force exhaustion. If Palpatine, who uses the force like crack didn't die of force exhaustion, then why did Luke?

The duels in TROS are all equally terrible. Not once did I felt any excitement between Rey and Kylo's duels as I did with Finn and Kylo from TFA. Every Lightsaber duel is forgettable. The fight in Ren's Quarters is just bad. The fight on the Death Star Ruins is just terrible. It's like they both got high on deathsticks and could barley remember that they are both trained with a Lightsaber. Fighting in ruins surrounded by water SHOULD BE EXCITING! But they did everything in their power to make this duel boring, mediocre and lackluster. They act as if they are swinging bats, not Lightsabers. Lightsabers aren’t baseball bats, stop treating them like they are!

The worst part is that THIS was the final Lightsaber duel of the Star Wars saga. A huge step down if compared to Obi Wan vs Anakin in Mustafar and Darth Vader vs Luke Skywalker in the Emperor’s Throne Room, which unlike the previous prequel, had awesome shooting and use of the soundtrack, also being very lengthy.

Then we get the Luke and Leia flashback. The ONLY well choreographed fight scene is a fucking flashback.

Then Ben Solo and the Knights Of Ren. Again, we know the Knights are gonna die. If JJ Abrams bothered to characterize the Knights, then yes they might've had a chance, but like the Praetorian Guards, they exist for background and die pointlessly.

Of Course we don't get to see Palpatine duel wielding his twin Sith Lightsabers and fighting Rey and Ben, cause JJ mr I hate the Prequels can't give the fans any decent Lightsaber fights. Instead of Palpatine facing Rey and Ben in an epic climatic final battle, we get Palpatine killed by his own lightning.

The fights in TFA is adequate at best. TLJ is meaningless. TROS is absolutely terrible and forgettable.

John, Daisy and Adam deserved better choreography than they were given. There's no excuse for the lackluster duels we see in the ST, whether from Rey, Finn or Kylo.

One of the biggest complaints for the Prequels is Lightsaber fights is "they are too choreographed" and anyone who believes this is an idiot. What? You wanted Jedi in their prime to slap sticks like old people? You wanted them to fight like drunken hobos? One of the best things in the prequels was finally getting to see the Jedi finally go all out in some awesome lightsaber duels. The Jedi should be masters at Lightsaber combat. Fight choreography is a good thing. Look at the duels in the prequels. You can like or hate them but the duel between Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon and Maul was great. As was Obi-Wan vs Jango, Yoda vs Dooku and every duel in ROTS. Even The Clone Wars had great fight choreography. There was more planning and choreography in The Clone Wars S7E10 than in the whole sequel trilogy.

Seriously, why wasn't Nick Gillard contacted? He is the main reason why the Lightsaber duels in the prequels were so good. I don't care if too many Lightsabers were a big complaint amongst the Prequel haters, the duels were good. So instead of great fight scenes, you traded great fight choreography for mediocre baseball bat fights?

The choreography is not the issue alone. There is no emotion. In TFA. Starkiller Base was already set to blow, so the fight was pointless. In TLJ there is no emotion at stake for the Throne Room fight and the Resistance already got away prior to Luke's pointless death. Rey vs Kylo doesn’t even matter because the characters HAVE THE SAME GOAL. Both want to get to Exegol via a wayfinder before the duel and both get to Exegol with a wayfinder (or memory of it) at the end of the duel. While Kylo gets redeemed, the duel wasn’t necessary for this part as Leia just needed to talk to him and then give him the force induced memory. The only thing this proves is that Rey is not a Jedi because she gives into anger and blind rage to start the duel.

The duels in the prequels and originals had themes, emotion and meaning. Not just that but they looked damn impressive and was the spectacle that helped made Star Wars, Star Wars.

There isn't any good musical scores for any of the Lightsaber fights either or at the very least, nothing memorable. Nothing as iconic as Duel Of Fates, Battle Of Heroes and the Throne Room fight in ROTJ. I don't remember any themes in the Sequels and that's a problem.

And it doesn’t help that these duels have no meaningful deaths either. A bunch of faceless guards and Luke (through indirect means) are the only deaths via a duel. But this is what happens when you hide the mentor archetype on an island and have the hero and villain go at it for three films.

The Lightsaber duel is no longer an emotional spectacle and a grand duel to the death. It's a bunch of idiots high on deathsticks fighting pointlessly and fighting for absolutely nothing. Rey fights like a Sith but she's a Jedi. Ben fights like a Jedi but is leading the First Order? They don't matter anymore and the duels in the sequels are the most forgettable thing about them.

#Anti Sequel Trilogy #Anti TFA #Anti TROS #Anti TLJ #Rey #Finn #Kylo Ren #Ben Solo

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darkpoisonouslove · 4 years

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Winx Club Season 4 Thoughts Part 2

I did part 1 here. Let’s see if part 2 is gonna top that in a positive way or in a negative one.

4x14:

- I can’t believe I’m saying this but I agree with Bloom. Musa is moving way too fast in her “crush” on Jason. Not to mention that it looked like things were getting a bit better between her and Riven during the last battle with the Wizards.

- Okay, but Bloom is saying the exact opposite of what happened. She wasn’t scared of being a fairy. She instantly agreed to go with Stella to Alfea and never even for a second stopped to think about that taking her away from home like Roxy is doing. At least Roxy can see that it is possible to balance being a fairy and still doing everyday things.

- Faragonda is really getting on my nerves in this scene. First, she jumps on talking about Roxy attending Alfea without even asking her and then she’s all “She needs time”. Contradictory much? If she needs time, then give it to her. And taking the White Circle is probably not a good idea. From what we saw in 4x01 Alfea teachers were unable to do anything against the Wizards and Roxy used it to defeat them in the previous episode. So Winx and Roxy are literally the only ones that can protect the White Circle and use it. Why send it to Alfea? The Wizards can learn about it and attack the school and there will be no one to stop them. Not to mention that it was the thing that helped defeat them and without it Winx and Roxy are weaker and possibly can’t protect Gardenia.

- The TV crew - “talks about fairies* Stella - “Do you think they might be talking about us?” WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?! Of course they are talking about you! Do you see any other girls flying around in sparkly outfits! It should be illegal for this line to be so stupid considering how short it is.

- So now the Specialists are throwing jabs at each other? I thought Sky and Brandon were the bestest of friends, wtf? And Helia too? Seriously? Can this season not ruin all the good dynamics? At least the Riven and Nabu friendship is still going strong. And Riven is being more open with Nabu while Nabu is giving some quality advice. I like that. Almost makes up for the other bullshit happening with all of them.

- Didn’t the tiger say the ship is leaving soon? And they still decided to wait a whole day to get there? That sounds like an urgent, asap business but yeah, sure. Go chill all day. What could go wrong with that plan?

- Klaus is super chill considering Roxy just brought a tiger home and it’s adorable but shouldn’t they report the whole thing and take the tiger to the proper authorities? I know the magical dimension has no logic whatsoever when it comes to laws and such but they are on Earth now and I am pretty sure it is not legal for Roxy to keep the tiger. Can we have some real world logic here, please?

- Stella and Brandon are so fucking cute when they’re not fighting.

- Damn, Jason even interrupted the breakup talk. Come on! We all know it is not breakup talk but still.

- Yeah, they really fought the most powerful beings of the magical dimension and then lost to two animal smugglers. Nice one, you guys.

- I will never get over the stupidity that fairies being unable to get out of simple ropes on their own is. They have magic for heaven’s sake! Bloom could totally burn the ropes with a little spark! This is super stupid!

- Yes, just release a bunch of wild animals in the middle of a city. Nothing could go wrong with that.

- Why are they exhausted? They literally didn’t do shit! It was just Musa that used her powers! Also, wouldn’t it have made more sense if they used Flora’s special powers? She is the fairy of nature and animals are part of nature. What the hell does the song of one’s heart have to do with how they act towards nature?!

- Omg, why is Musa acting like Jason’s wedding had her heartbroken? She met him three days ago and didn’t know anything about him! He offered to produce her music which is still absolutely doable even if he is married! She’s acting like she’s been in love with him for years and she barely knows him! Besides, she hasn’t lost any of his support and encouragement for her musical career. This is an exaggerated reaction.

4x15:

- Um... aren’t Winx only in Gardenia? This looks like they’ve gone worldwide. Also, since when can Duman do anything that does not involve shapeshifting?

- What the fuck, he just turned into water?!

- Ogron is getting the right idea. Well, right for the Wizards’ plans.

- What is Stella doing? I get she’s tired but she just went in the shop, looked at what all the others were doing and then left?! What the hell???

- *groan* Why are we bringing up the Mitzi thing again? That was already resolved, dammit! I remember Mitzi was part of Ogron’s plan but they could have still had that without reopening drama that they already closed. And even Mitzi’s words are stupid. There is nothing to fight for. Brandon already chose Stella.

- Where did Mitzi’s friends come from all of a sudden? This is exactly like Chimera and her groupies. And Valtor also planned on using her against Stella. *sigh* We have done this already! I feel like they decided to combine the Diaspro and Chimera storylines from last season and push it all on Stella for some reason.

- Wtf? Mitzi and her friends were super scared but then suddenly they follow the Wizards just because of their dislike for Winx? Like, the Wizards didn’t even introduce themselves or anything, they didn’t even give them a reason to follow them. What the hell is the logic of this scene? At least Mitzi’s friends look somewhat genuine since they were all curled up into each other when they got scared and she didn’t try to push them away. Why does she want Brandon if she can have two girlfriends? Brandon is awesome but already taken and she seems to have a cool relationship with her girls already. Oh, look, her girls even have brains! Come on, Mitzi, listen to them!

- I guess Ogron has the power to make fairies now! Though, a better explanation would be that they just gave them magical powers and Duman used his shapeshifting skills to only make them look like fairies to make people hate fairies when Mitzi and her friends start doing stupid stuff.

- Oh, really? Musa now wants Riven back? After her other option was taken away? This is horrible. If the problem was truly that she felt Riven was unsupportive, she shouldn’t want him back unless they fix that. But no, now that Jason is off the table, she wants Riven back even though he allegedly wasn’t good for her. Just say you’re desperate for attention, honey.

- They’re even helping at the bar after the long day they had? If I were them I would just crash on the ground as well the first chance I got.

- At least Bloom only put the lid of the shaft back in place instead of levitating the person.

- It is pretty cool that they show Roxy and Mitzi and her friends training parallel to each other. And the lessons were interesting (I thought the birds were gonna drop Kiko but he got enough when he got hit with that soccer ball). Also, Mitzi really is learning fast if you can say that having common sense counts as learning but considering what they’ve already done in this season, I’ll take it.

- Oh, wow! Mitzi is showing some actual strategical thinking! And she wasn’t blinded by her desire to be better than Winx and instead admitted their weakness in order to defeat them? I am so pleasantly surprised. Less so by the people of Gardenia. Just because someone calls you friend, doesn’t mean that you’re really friends or have anything in common. Please! Can people not fall for everything so easily?!

- Oh, damn! Bloom got physical! She really got mad, huh? And she’s also pretty strong to just flip Mitzi like that.

- It took them that long to figure out that Winx are protecting them? Really? Last time I checked, people were supposed to have stopped believing in magic, not be stupid as all fuck.

- Wait, so Mitzi and her friends don’t remember what happened? And no one is gonna do anything about them? They destroyed a whole park and almost killed people! Did no one see their faces? How come they are not in any legal trouble for this?!

- At least Jason’s wife is not affected by this jealousy plague that has hit all the Winx and the Specialists.

4x16:

- Yeah, I don’t think finding them is going to be a problem. Especially now that they are popular both because of the pet shop and as fairies. The only problem the Wizards have is that they can’t quite defeat them currently.

- I thought Roxy didn’t remember the Nebula possession.

- What are those mood swings of Musa’s? Last episode she instantly went looking for Riven after she learned there could be nothing between her and Jason, now she’s moping about Jason still. Do you even know what you want at this point?

- I don’t think putting the White Circle in the game is a good idea. Can they even keep an eye on it that way? What if the Wizards do something like the Tracix spell and find out the Circle is in the game? What is gonna stop them from taking it? I think Winx underestimate them. But Stella’s reaction to Tecna’s gadgets was super cute! They should have had more friendship moments together.

- Wtf, where did this idea for the music band come from? Also, Bloom just said she needs Musa to give her singing lessons. How come she’s the main vocalist of the band later on? And Flora telling Stella that it’s not easy to perform in front of people? Stella, who already won a beauty pageant? Really? We all know Stella doesn’t give two fucks about being in front of people.

- Riven is communicating so much better with Nabu and even Helia than he is with Musa. I think they never became friends before becoming a couple and that is really getting in the way of truly opening up to each other. At least he has great wingmen.

- Okay, Riven fucked it up but it was obviously an accident. And Musa didn’t even appreciate his attempt. In fact, her reactions to his attempts to be better are always so negative and, therefore, discourage him from ever doing it again. I’m surprised he still wants to do things right by her after all the times she’s acted like a bitch because his attempts were not quite successful. She doesn’t appreciate his efforts at all if the outcome is not perfect.

- See? I told you they would find it. Winx really underestimated them a lot this time. And if they were gonna stay in town, why not just carry the Circle with them? This was a stupid plan.

- Klaus is a very understanding employer if he still hasn’t fired the Specialists after they keep disappearing like that for undetermined amounts of time. Though, I think after learning about the fairy business, it is natural that he will be a bit more lenient when he knows what dangers they are battling.

- Helia really do be beating monsters with just a glove, huh?

- Aww, look at Timmy being absolutely amazing!

- Couldn’t they use the Zoomix wings without the need for Musa’s sonic distortion? It didn’t seem to do that much anyway.

- Why did they let go of the Circle and where did it go? Couldn’t Roxy have done something to keep it with them? It responds to her the most. Oh, they have it.

- At least Musa apologized to Riven. Her reaction to the chocolates was really stupid so I’m glad she rethought all of that. Even though I don’t understand why Nabu had to be the one to tell her what Riven was doing. I thought it was obvious.

4x17:

- How many times are they gonna leave Kiko in charge when they know the pets don’t listen to him? Also, didn’t they already spoil the fact that the fairies are trapped and the White Circle is the last portal to free them in a recap in one of the earlier episodes?

- Wait, since when are the pets listening to Kiko?

- The Book of Fairies? Is that the Believix book? How many things are in that book? It doesn’t look endless.

- Wow, that’s a lot of responsibility shoved on Roxy’s shoulders. But did they seriously leave her? How do they plan on freeing the Earth fairies without her?

- Well, they’re going to have to use some spells in order to get out of their predicaments whether they like it or not. Also, is it the island that has been enchanted by the Wizards to take care of fairies? Is that what is happening here? Because I don’t think the Wizards are there at the current moment.

- If they can’t use their magic, free climbing will be dangerous, not fun.

- Yes, of course, Bloom can break the spell over herself like none of the others were able to.

- Well, Bloom got her unicorn/pegasus in Magical Adventure. But can’t Musa do something about the sirens’ song?

- Finally. Both about Musa and freeing the Earth fairies. Tecna and Stella make quite a great team, though!

- Bloom really just called a queen “Your Highness”. I know she didn’t grow up a princess but she must have learned by now from Stella and Layla (and even her own parents who are free at this point) what the proper way to address a queen/king is.

- When is Morgana gonna tell Roxy that she’s her mom? Does she even remember? They didn’t erase her memories like with Klaus’, right? I thought she would be mad at Nebula for possessing her daughter but there was no reaction whatsoever.

4x18:

- How did they jump from “Shit, we might have doomed Earth” to “Yay, we’re becoming an official band” so quickly? And even Roxy was on board with all that even though she was being torn apart by guilt earlier. Drama would have been more proper here than in any of the other places they have used it this season. Also, what is it that makes Musa such a professional musician compared to the others? It’s not like she has her own songs produced or anything. And Stella said she plays a lot of instruments. Plus, if a musical producer liked them, then that means that they are all more than just amateurs.

- At least the new outfits are cute. And the boys are totally swept off their feet. XD

- Ugh, just tell me Sky is not going to go into jealousy rage again. And why do he and Brandon keep making digs at each other? They are supposed to be the eternal bromance. And Riven too? I thought we were over this!

- It’s Flora time by the looks of it. I have to say that the idea of Winx fighting the Major Fairies is really good because the fairies’ powers come from hatred while Winx’ powers come from the belief of humans in magic so by defeating the fairies, Winx get to show that faith and love are always stronger. That was well thought up. I only hope the execution will be decent as well.

- Seriously, Flora is their trump card in this situation and even she can’t fight? Nabu is being totally awesome, though! Even if a bit of a Deus Ex Machina.

- Well, of course, Diana is in the park. Where would a nature fairy go? Is anyone shocked by this?

- These carnivore plants look different from the usual. But they really left the guys go after Diana even though they couldn’t do anything against her with their magic? And Timmy was worried about the monsters that are obviously much weaker than Diana? Great.

- Tecna is rocking this as usual. But of course, there is a giant spider. Every. Single. Time.

- Did Sky really order Diana to stop? Has his coronation gotten to his head? I am surprised she didn’t snap at that very instant.

- Why is Nabu literally the only one that is handling this? He is the only one that is not a Specialist and it looks like all they’re Specialists in is jealousy. It’s because of the magic, right? Look at them say that people without magic are useless.

- What exactly are Nabu’s powers? Because he seems to be able to do everything.

- Yes, Mike, anger the oversized spider more! What a wonderful idea! At least we know where Bloom got her temper. Not that she didn’t have enough of it already in her genes from both Oritel and Marion but I’m sure growing up with Mike only nurtured it instead of inhibiting it.

- Lmao at Mike and Stella’s conversation. XD He is right, though. At this rate, they’ll destroy the whole building.

- Yeah, Musa blasted it but what was Tecna doing? Just standing under the spider and screaming? Please, she is better than this!

- What does Roxy mean “It’s not [her] type of pet”? She’s the fairy of animals! That means all animals, not just the furry, cute ones.

- I don’t think teleportation is gonna solve all the problems. As an on-the-spot solution for the spider situation it is okay but they still need to figure out a way to beat Diana. Nabu’s been holding her off while the seven of them can’t even defeat a single spider.

- Aww, that scene was pretty emotional. Between Nabu’s guilt for not saving the others and Musa’s feelings for Riven, it got intense. And the plot is getting more intense as well which is awesome!

4x19:

- Wait, wait! They just gave them the Sophix Gifts? Didn’t Winx have to accomplish some missions to get them? Or do they receive them before the mission to finish it with the help of the Gifts?

- I thought Stella would freak when she saw the snake but she just petted it like it was a puppy. That was adorable!

- That vision told them fuckall. Like they weren’t gonna take that path anyway. What was the point of it?

- Hideout? This is not a hideout! It looks more like a temple. But hideout would imply it should be hidden and it just... isn’t.

- Okay, the Earth fairies have a point to some extent and Flora feeling the pain of the plants could have been a good way to show forgiveness since Diana is bound to feel the same pain, only, she has let it turn her dark. And then Winx could use the Believix powers with help from the Earth fairies to stop humans from destroying the planet... Which they can still do. Hopefully.

- Again, aren’t they only famous in Gardenia? Why does Stella think that deforestators in the Amazonian jungle will know who they are?

- So there’s not gonna be any actual transformation for the Sophix? They just change their outfits and wings. At least the gifts look cool even though they probably won’t get to use them much. It would have been even better if the warrior fairies would just think for themselves instead of listen to Diana like they don’t have their own brains.

- At least Musa and Riven are getting somewhere. Still not good enough but it’s better than the previous few episodes.

- I thought the Sophix powers were supposed to defeat Diana. How are they gonna do that if they can’t even defeat this other fairy that is surely weaker than her? And they already considered the possibility of it being a trap so why did they fall for it so easily?

4x20:

- Why is the recap implying that Roxy is with them in Amazonia when she stayed behind?

- Flora is getting fired up because of the plants again which I like but it would have been better if it actually allowed her to break out of the chains instead of all of them waiting to be rescued. Also, you have to love how Diana cares more about the source of her power rather than the destruction of the very forest that is her domain.

- Bloom: Let’s destroy it. *3 seconds later* Bloom: Destruction is not the solution to anything. Well, good thing your mood swings were from bad to good mood this time. Also, how do they imagine they are going to protect the bud from anyone that wants to hurt it if they ever want to go back home? Keeping that promise would mean living there for the rest of their lives. Why is this dialogue so decidedly not thought out?

- I thought that thanks to Sophix Winx are now completely connected with nature. What happened with that? I know Diana is the fairy of nature but so is Flora! She should be able to do something here and they should at least be equals with advantage to Winx because they’re more (we don’t count the warrior fairies because we all know that they don’t matter).

- Convenient how feeling nature suffering only happens sometimes and just with close range destruction. If Diana was feeling every tree that was cut down, she shouldn’t have been able to stand on her feet by now. This is bullshit and so is the fact that Flora is not any more useful than any of the other Winx right now. At least Nabu is being awesome again aka doing everyone else’s jobs.

- Great! Now both Flora and Diana are useless.

- Aww, finally we get some fangirling from Stella over Brandon again! I have missed this and it was about damn time. How could they trade this perfection for all the stupid jealousy drama in this season?

- If Diana is the fairy of nature, she should be damn near immortal and in order to destroy her, you should destroy all nature first. This is absolute nonsense. They cut down two trees and now she’s in mortal danger. Some fucking fairy of nature. Please!

- Now Diana went from completely useless to ridiculously and over the top so. If the Major Fairy of nature can’t cure the bud, then what is she even good for, really? This whole episode is bullshit on top of other bullshit.

- Really? There wasn’t even a good moment of revelation. Winx did a lot but it wasn’t their actions that changed her mind, it was the native people and that was just... a bit underwhelming. This could have been done so much better. *sigh*

- “Gift of Wisdom,” they say like there was any wisdom in what happened here. If anything, there was empathy and just general common sense from Winx who were aware of the fact that just because some people do bad things, it doesn’t mean that all people are evil. There is no wisdom in that. Nothing even remotely smart in any of this.

- At least Musa and Riven finally fixed their shit! Riven was being absolutely adorable! He really has his jerk moments but he is awesome and so underappreciated. And all the other couples were adorable as well! Though, I have to say that I love the fact that Bloom accidentally implied that Layla and Nabu are a better couple than her and Sky. XD Thanks, writers! (even if they quickly rebutted that idea with the next dialogue exchange) I will be forever salty about the fact that they didn’t let Layla have the wedding she was so worried about organizing. She is so invested in it and so in love with Nabu and they just... they just went and killed him.

4x21:

- Seriously? Andy and his band barely showed up and the guys already started acting like everything was ruined? When will this be over? I am so sick of it, especially after it was already made super clear that they have nothing to worry about. And how are Winx getting produced so fast? They literally got a producer the same day they formed their band. This does not follow any actual logic.

- Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Suddenly they’re all super talented in music. Of course. And why is Musa acting like she hasn’t been in Jason’s studio before? Come on, writers! That was a big moment of drama for her and Riven. If you insist on shoving jealousy everywhere, at least remember the details around it and stop contradicting yourselves!

- I am pretty sure they also mentioned the musical contest already in a previous episode so they are repeating themselves... again. Can we get back to the Major Fairies? At least things are happening there.

- All their performances have been live! He’s already seen how they do live shows! This is really getting on my nerves.

- Since when is a music band their dream?!?!?!?! And why are the boys being so fucking jealous all over again?!?!?!?! Just. Move. The fuck. ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Great! And now suddenly we went from Bloom and Musa being vocalists to only Bloom even though Musa is THE FUCKING FAIRY OF MUSIC! This episode is testing my patience. Actually, the previous episode did that. This one is running it fucking thin!

- Well, fucking finally! I was wondering when the Wizards were gonna show up again, and this is getting interesting. Though, Ogron kneeling in front of Bloom is just a bit too theatrical for me to not start suspecting that they have a play here. Even if they are truly weakened, that doesn’t mean that they don’t plan on taking advantage of having Winx fight their battle to get their powers back and come out on top again.

- Yep, there was a physical Black Circle, after all. It was just too lame for them not to do it. And they aren’t even going to explain how in the hell all the Wizards’ power is contained in it. The White Circle is a portal (and one of many at that) but the Black Circle is more like the Agathor Box and contains all the Wizards’ power? Yeah, right. None of this checks out. Again.

- Somehow I have a feeling that since the Wizards are with them, they are going to draw attention in one way or another.

- Okay, Winx pushing the Wizards out of harm’s way was actually kinda funny but it just makes the Wizards look fucking incompetent without their magic. Like, please, they are centuries old! They certainly have the common sense of moving out of the way of a boulder that will crush them! And they’re acting like what Winx did was some kind of impossible feat when it was just basic survival instinct. There isn’t much philosophy to “jump out of the way of the thing that can kill you”. Can we stop acting like they solved the biggest mysteries of the universe? But I trust the Wizards less and less the nicer they act.

- I am also getting sick of them acting like the Gift of Heart is landing them some magical levels of courage when any person would have done the exact same things even without magic.

- Well, now the Specialists just seem to have general anger management issues even if those guys were truly annoying as hell in the 10 seconds they had on screen.

- For a second there I thought Morgana would possess Roxy like Nebula did but, thankfully, she didn’t. She’s trying to save her daughter. Which I think would work much better if she told her she was her mom. But anyway, I agree with her this time. Her quest for vengeance and Winx’ attempts to save humankind aside, it is obvious that the Wizards are not being honest about this and will use the first opportunity to turn things in their favor again. They might even be trying to kill Sybila by having Winx get them to her because they can’t reach her on their own.

- And here I thought they couldn’t transform. But of course, they can! It would have been much more interesting if Winx had had to use the Black Circle because their Believix powers weren’t working.

- That was it? I expected more from that battle. And it could have been a test to see if their intentions were good aka having them protecting the Wizards be the part that would prove they only want to help everyone. But it was all over before it began. What even was the point of it?

- Aww, the Specialists are going to play to buy Winx some time. Lmao it would be super stupid if they got chosen for winners instead of Winx and it would probably create more drama. But I think it would have been cooler if Nabu had used his magic to make them all look like their girlfriends and win the first place for them. XD It was cool to see Riven do something like that, though. And he’s singing!

- Tests, my ass. Those were barely any tests. They have been through so much worse back when they were freshmen in Alfea and they also handled it better back then despite being significantly weaker in power.

- Seriously, Stella? Are your comprehension skills damaged or something? Handling the mission without help from magic actually makes you braver, you stupid idiot! And I am so happy that it wasn’t the Gift of Heart in action because that would have made it really underwhelming.

- Yeah, so the Wizards are obviously gonna do some shit here because we all know what happens before the end of this season. But the musical contest was saved. Because that is the most important thing in their lives, apparently.

- I was worried Musa was going to be a bitch about this but they solved this quickly. Good. My tolerance for drama is running out and there are still five episodes left of this season. And Musa was also singing along with Bloom. (I’ll take what I can get since even that will be gone soon.)

- Does Jason know that they’re fairies (which he should) and, more importantly, can he produce them in the rest of the magical dimension? That would have been fun to see. Imagine you are a musical producer and suddenly these fairies appear. They’re good and you sign a contract with them and next thing you know, you’re being taken to different planets because they also want to sing there and your business is suddenly interdimensional. That would have been a good thing to add to this whole ridiculous subplot with the musical band.

4x22:

- Oh, damn! Aurora looks pretty powerful! I just hope that they will do more with her than they did with Diana. And she also seems smart, too, as she came up with the idea of wanting the Wizards as ransom. At least the Fairies of Vengeance haven’t lost it enough to attack Sybila.

- Aww, Tecna’s dress is awesome! I love it!

- Why did they just go separate ways if they were trying to come up with a name for the band. What, are they gonna give up after one suggestion? And can we, please, have someone else other than Bloom come up with the name? Like Musa maybe?

- Oh, yeah, another Ice Age is gonna be a great surprise for their future and an awesome start to their musical career! (But damn, why are Layla and Nabu so cute? Also, wtf is up with Musa? One second she acts like she is totally in love with Riven (she even said he already has her) and then she says she needs to think. Well, if you’re gonna think, think before you say things like that!)

- Okay, but what are the Earth fairies going to do after they destroy Earth? This seems a little counterproductive, just saying.

- I knew the Wizards were planning something. I just can’t tell if Duman was actually hurt or they did it on purpose to be more convincing. However, I think I saw somewhere that he dies in the end of the season so that would suggest that it wasn’t the other Wizards that had him spelled to appear so weak. But damn, they almost looked genuinely worried for him in the beginning there!

- Oh, so Amazonia was too dangerous for Roxy but now that the end of the world is coming up, she can suddenly go to the very center of that shitstorm? Wow, great logic there.

- Yes, good thing that this is happening on Earth so that it can get destroyed rather than the magical dimension.

- Morgana’s strategy here is not very smart. Does she think that she is going to win Roxy over by killing her friends? I know she’s a bit blinded by rage and thirst for vengeance right now but it should click that that will not be in her favor.

- “Well done”? She didn’t hit anything! You’d think that Musa’s sonic waves will be very useful against ice monsters (especially since we’ve seen her shatter Icy’s ice shards with them already)... that is, if she can actually hit any of the monsters with them, which she didn’t. Bloom and Stella’s powers should also be very useful in this situation, yet they somehow seem to not be giving it their all here... And suddenly they got overzealous.

- “Three days ago”? Wtf, Aurora definitely did not launch her attack that long ago. They can’t even keep a solid timeline in one single episode. *exasperated sigh*

- Ah, so brainwashing the polar bears is what Roxy is here for. There were plenty of animals in Amazonia, too, but they benched her on that one. Anyway, I am glad they didn’t fight the bears.

- The Lovix transformation is really annoying me. They couldn’t draw something that is actually appropriate for the cold weather. Obviously they aren’t cold in their fairy forms but if you’re gonna give it fur to make it look warm and wintery, you can actually make it look like something that someone without magic would realistically wear in the winter.

- At least now Bloom and Stella are actually utilizing the advantage of their elements. But Flora is again only using her ivy and it is getting boring. All that magic at her disposal and she uses the same type of attack (even if they give the spells different names) all the time. You might wanna update your repertoire. And wtf was up with Roxy’s attack? Why would blasting at the fairies feet make them fall? Their wings would be the center of their mass so pushing at their feet wouldn’t have much of an effect. Or at least it shouldn’t have because they are flying and not walking but someone in the crew there did not get the memo.

- What do you mean that there is no way out? If there is a way in, there is at least one way out. Also, if you’re at the center of a maze, there should be many paths you can take even if they only temporarily serve as an escape.

- Roxy just used Morgana’s plan of getting rid of only Winx against her. That was great! I am starting to think that she is the only one with a brain here and needs some new mentors because hers might teach her their own stupidity.

- Seriously, they didn’t do that much. They did fight the ice monsters but other than that, their lack of braincells is just astounding. At least this was a little better than the last episode with Sybila’s cave.

- I have to agree with Aurora, they do catch up a little too late. However, Morgana said that no harm should come upon Roxy and they just left Roxy in danger of freezing to death. I’m sure she didn’t mean “make Winx choose between my daughter and mankind”. Hopefully, this will bring out some sense in her.

4x23:

- How is this not putting Roxy in danger? What the fuck did Morgana tell them?! Why is Nebula doing the exact opposite of keeping Roxy safe? Don’t let a hair from her head fall means not let her freeze to death as well! If I were Morgana, I would stop wasting my time on vengeance and take care of my daughter!

- Since when can’t the Earth fairies enter Sybila’s cave?!?!?!?! That is definitely not the reason why they didn’t want to go against her in the previous episode. They just wanted to avoid getting on the wrong side of her. Not to mention that ROXY ENTERED SYBILA’S CAVE! AND SHE IS A TERRESTRIAL FAIRY! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT AT THIS POINT, WRITERS?!?!?!?!?!?!?

- Can you shut up with the responsibility speech and start doing something? You’re losing precious seconds!

- Why the fuck is she angering Nebula? Yes, let’s fight while Roxy is fucking freezing to death! And why don’t they just use the Zoomix wings and teleport away?!?!?! It is Aurora’s magic that is freezing over the world. They need to find her. Why are they wasting their time on Nebula anyway?

- And now they’re trapped. How is finding out what Morgana’s relation to Roxy is going to help them at this very moment? I get that they don’t have many other options (or any) but that does not sound like it will grant them a way out. Also, I am pretty sure Bloom was not actually there during the fight she was talking about when Roxy noticed the other fairies weren’t attacking her. Been a few days since I watched that but I am pretty sure Bloom and Stella stayed behind to hold off the ice monsters and weren’t there for Bloom to make the observation she is now stating. Unless Roxy somehow telepathically told her about it, SHE CAN’T KNOW! There hasn’t been a single thing about this episode that is not frustrating so far.

- Bloom managed to buy you time, my ass. She managed to get you trapped when you could have just teleported away! You call that a good move?!

- Yes, just kidnap Roxy. For a moment there I really thought she would. But damn, why can’t she listen to her own daughter? Roxy has been on Earth for the last sixteen years that she missed. I think between the two of them Roxy knows better how humans are.

- What does it matter if it’s an ice rink when they’re going to be flying over it anyway?

- What, that was it? One shot and they’re done? Please, tell me Bloom is going to do something any moment because this episode is gonna make me lose it otherwise!

- What the fuck exhausted them? They haven’t even been fighting for a minute! Nebula is supposed to be super strong and Bloom has the fucking Dragon Fire! If this is all they can do, we need new characters because these just became a fucking joke.

- Nebula is acting like the people gave up on them the second they disappeared which is definitely not what happened and I don’t know what she expected. That people are going to believe in creatures that no one can prove exist until the end of times?

- I get that the Lovix is meant for cold environments but Bloom’s power is the Dragon Fire and she’s been using only ice magic. That’s not how her powers are supposed to work.

- Didn’t Bloom summon her Dragon Fire? Why are there SNOWFLAKES coming out of her hands?!?!?!?!

- Well, at least Morgana has some sense left. Not a lot, but some.

- They don’t need her portal, they have stupid teleportation wings!

- Oh, no. Nabu will be dying soon. And they even had Layla reacting to the Black Gift to foreshadow it. God, I hate this!

- Well, for being one of the Major Fairies, Aurora certainly didn’t do shit.

- Why was there all of that wondering about Morgana’s relation to Roxy when they didn’t make any progress on that front at all?! It was very misplaced especially considering the gravity of the situation it was happening in.

- God, I really hate the writers right now. They really included that scene with Nabu telling Layla everything is going to be fine as long as they’re together right before killing him? That is EVIL!

- We all agree that this ring moment there means that Stella and Brandon are now engaged, right? I mean, it would make sense that he’d want to show her she is the only one for him after all the jealousy bullshit in this season.

4x24:

- Riiiiight. The Wizards seem so dangerous without their powers... Oh, wait! We’ve never actually seen them do anything without their powers. And they needed Winx to rescue them from the falling rocks instead of just following their innate survival instincts and ducking out of the way. Sure, seem real dangerous to me.

- Was that a portal Nabu just opened? And why can’t he try the magic at Sybila’s cave? Why do they need to go to Gardenia when he could just do it there?

- Yep, it’s a portal. He’s never opened portals before but sure he can do it now all of a sudden!

- Didn’t they have to go underground last time to open the gate to Tir Nan Og? But of course, who needs consistency? On anything.

- Yes, the Wizards were going to be defeated by a flock of crows. Damn, how dangerous they are!

- The Circle is the door to the black abyss? What the hell does that mean?!

- Wait... Their wings grew back after the Wizards cut them off?! Wow. Way to make none of this lasting. Yes, they were trapped for centuries but if anything, that gave their wings time to grow back. Even if they’d been free, it would have still sucked without wings and it could have diminished their power greatly to the point where they wouldn’t have been much more than ordinary humans. Honestly, the writers are running from writing proper trauma and consequences of it every single time except the one when they killed off Nabu and then let it stick. THAT was what they should have taken back! The fairies would have been much more terrifying without wings and drawing into their nature powers to the point of starting to destroy Earth in order to compensate for the magic taken away from them and defeat the Wizards. But nope, they got their wings back.

- I wonder if Morgana would have still been quite as welcoming of Roxy if she weren’t her daughter. Considering the way she instantly went against Winx in the name of her revenge despite the fact that they saved her, I’m gonna say no.

- Nabu is basically the alternative medicine guy you turn to when doctors keep stuffing you with meds without actually having any idea what they are trying to do aka curing the symptoms, not the disease. But is this the confirmation that Duman did this on his own? He purposefully used his powers so much as to appear sick and make the Wizards look more sympathetic? Cause they kinda went off the radar and there was no reason for him to have been shapeshifting so much otherwise. Edit: yep, he did it to himself.

- And the Nabu and Riven bromance is going on strong. Makes me even madder that they killed him off.

- Lmao, they really believed the Wizards though. I was gonna say this was the dumbest thing they’ve ever done but they’ve done plenty of dumb things. Also, don’t tell me - Nabu’s sudden ability to open portals will be used now to warn the fairies.

- Did Nabu just perform an exorcism that ended up killing Duman? Damn, talk about harsh.

- “They must be at the castle” really narrows this down. Also, why tf is Morgana acting like the Black Circle is the ring she’s always wanted? If it were me, I would make sure it never sees the light of day again if it couldn’t be destroyed. But since they said that there were other White Circles that were destroyed, then the Black Circle can probably be destroyed as well. So fucking destroy it already!

- Yeah, these guardian fairies are definitely doing a great job.

- Is he trying to trap them again? Didn’t he already try that? He’s just upgraded it a little bit now but do we really believe there won’t be any coming back for all these fairies? Let me guess, no one important will actually get sucked in then.

- Yes, Tecna, we couldn’t tell that the vortexes suck you into a dimension of hell. Thanks for your input.

- Oh, damn! Nabu sucking the entire abyss into his staff was super epic and some finale level moment, I have to say. I am surprised they didn’t save it up for then.

- “These eyes, Layla, mustn’t cry”?????? What kind of epic goodbye is that?!?!?! How could they break my heart so much?!?!??!?! I am fucking crying over here!!!!!

- “These eyes will never cry again.” Well, maybe but I am fucking bawling over here! And Ogron... that was the biggest dick move anyone in the entire series has ever pulled. And of course, Layla is the one suffering from this. @ the writers - Leave her the fuck alone!!!!!!!

- “Until he wakes up again”? Isn’t he dead? Does she mean reincarnation? Wtf does that line mean??????

- I hate Layla’s decision. Not just because she instantly switched over to revenge which is really... I don’t want to say hypocritical but that’s what it was. She’s been fighting the Earth fairies for a couple of episodes now because she didn’t believe they were right to seek revenge but once she is in pain and wronged, suddenly revenge is the answer to everything. And the fact that she abandoned her friends so easily almost makes it look like she’s choosing love over friendship which is just so tired. Not to mention that she knows very well Nabu wouldn’t have wanted her to turn hateful. I know we can’t help our feelings, but we can help our actions because we have control of those. She didn’t have to jump on revenge train after she’s been fighting the Earth fairies from doing the same.

4x25:

- If Riven doesn’t throw a fit over this, it would be OOC. But until then I’ll take him crying. As sad as this is, I love that he just reacts so openly to Nabu’s death because they were really close. (Also, yes, Bloom, we know you never thought any of you could die. If it had occurred to you that it was possible, you all would have made smarter choices. Hopefully.)

- Layla is being absolutely baffling. She left her friends but then she asks if they need Morgana’s permission to do something that she knows Morgana will never let them do.

- Didn’t Roxy’s dream sort of imply that Morgana got trapped in the mirror? As if it is some sort of gateway which would leave her “close but far away”? Or was that not a dream and we didn’t see Roxy’s dream, she just retold it?

- How the fuck does Sky know that about the Hall? When has he been in the castle? When has he read the Book of Fairies (which I don’t think even had a layout of the Tir Nan Og castle)? This doesn’t make sense!

- Well, Morgana did not choose her court well. They turned against her instead of being loyal just because they don’t like her decision. Honestly, if they aren’t going to take orders, why even be there?

- Wow, Bloom gave a really good argument. We could have used a mic drop over here!

- The writers have already proven they don’t care about semantics but the Wizards are Nabu’s killers/murderers, not assassins. Assassination requires political motives. That was pure cruelty.

- Wow, Layla is really the one being all “you replaced me” even though she was the one who left! Not to mention that it’s not like they only now invited Roxy to be one of them. They said she was with them way back in the first half of the season and Roxy has earned her place with them since she never abandoned them even though she knew that could put her in danger as well.

- Winx are being surprisingly wise about this. Excluding Layla, that is. Although I have to say that when they thought Tecna died in season 3, they were all on board with revenge against Valtor even though he was less directly responsible for that than the Wizards were for Nabu’s death. Hopefully, that’s what made them learn because they almost died back then.

- Wow, Roxy didn’t even question Morgana being her mom for a moment. I know she’s felt connected to her but she’s never known anything about her mom and finally learning who she is doesn’t evoke any more reaction than “cereal for breakfast” would.

- Love how Tecna isn’t having any traumatic memories triggered by being back in the Omega dimension where she almost died!

- Yes, Layla. Get yourself killed as well. I know you don’t care but there are other people who loved you besides Nabu and who you still love. At least all the other fairies besides Nebula stepped down. But Morgana’s move to just ask them to come home and even offer to abdicate was really touching.

4x26:

- Can I just say how lame it is to call 4x26 “Ice and Fire” when 1x26 was “Fire and Ice”?

- Wasn’t Anagan the fast one? Literally super speed. How come he’s the first one to run out of energy to run? It is literally his magical power and specialty!

- Layla and Nebula should stop blasting stuff because they’ll either run out of magic or cause a cave in. Either way, they’ll boost up the chances of their own death.

- Ogron can still absorb powers. Didn’t that disappear at some point? Also, why were they running if they were perfectly capable of defeating Layla and Nebula?

- Does this mean that Layla will stop with the vengeance agenda and come back to the club? Please!

- Aaaaand they caused a cave in! Wow, didn’t see that coming! Also, the only reason the Wizards hid in Omega was so that the final battle wouldn’t destroy Tir Nan Og or Gardenia and they get delivered to the prison dimension where they belong instantly! In fact, they delivered themselves. Someone just had to deep freeze them.

- Yeah, right. Nebula suddenly changed her mind. Like, there was no trigger to this change or reason behind it. If Morgana’s speech didn’t touch her, then nearly getting herself and Layla killed shouldn’t have had much more effect. The writers should have left her there as a way for her to ensure the Wizards will never get free. It would have made more sense for her character at this point since she was the one that gave up on being the fairy of peace. Someone else could have taken that one on.

- What did Morgana mean by “release your magic”? They didn’t give it up, did they? Only let it imbue the world again and work in harmony with it once more, right?

- Eh, did Nebula really deserve being queen after her horrible judgment that could have cost the lives of all the fairies? And she only changed her mind once the Wizards were defeated. What would have happened if they’d gotten away? She probably would have still chased them. Also, does this mean Roxy is not the princess of Tir Nan Og anymore? She certainly is too young and inexperienced to rule and she didn’t want to be a fairy (though that is probably resolved by now) but maybe one day she’ll want to be the fairy queen. Though, I think Nebula won’t have a problem with that. How long do Earth fairies live, though? Because they’ve been saying they have been trapped for centuries.

- Tbh Morgana had the most reason to be mad considering the family the Wizards took away from her but I am glad she chose to put her efforts towards said family rather than revenge.

- They really forgot about the pets? Stella is really gonna throw a fit this time. But there is no rest from the pets and the business.

- If the pets form a music band, I will throw a fit.

- Oh, wow! Sky remembered his royal duties and the Specialists are actually still going to school? You’d think they would’ve thrown them out by now. Though, I guess this was an official mission.

- It must have been really tough on Layla to tell Nabu’s parents about his death instead of their wedding.

- Faragonda showed up? I cannot believe it! But why the hell would Roxy decide to go to Alfea right now? She just got her mother and they have so much catching up to do. Besides, Morgana can certainly teach her all there is to being a fairy considering how she was the queen of all Earth fairies.

- Are the girls really thinking they can balance a business, a musical career and being guardians of the magical dimension? This is not ambitious. It is madness. Also, they never picked a name for the band, did they?

- I am surprised by how long they took to wrap this season up. At least it paid off as they managed to cover all the things that needed covering after the last battle. Some better than others but it was decent as far as endings go.

This season suffered from some major pacing issues. The first half dragged along too much with the tons of jealousy and relationship drama that took up screen time that could have been used for something productive instead and the second half could have used more time to flesh out some plot points and use some characters and situations to their full potential. There was definitely way too much going on in this season with the pet shop, the music band, the relationship drama, the Wizards of the Black Circle, Roxy and the Earth Fairies. They could have easily cut the band and the romantic drama to give the important elements time to shine. The Wizards were used very chaotically in the first half of the season and nearly disappeared from the second half. The battle with the Major Fairies could have definitely used more space and better utilization of some of the fairies (aka Aurora). There was some good action but even that lacked logic at a lot of points. There was too much going on in terms of magical transformations in this season but that was balanced somewhat well and was probably the best done part of the whole season. I will never forgive the crime that killing off Nabu was because it was just unnecessary.

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bigbrotherlouis · 3 years

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i would love a directors cut for the first scrimmage scene from kinda like that this ends in smoke!

boy oh boy okay. i was very conscious while writing that this scene needed to do A Lot: it needed to establish, at least a little, what is standing in for a hockey game, establish the team fighting dynamic, and showcase patty’s powers. that last one, in particular, needed to be really sharp because it sets up the conflict and conceit for the rest of the fic, which is: it’s dangerous for patty to be touched. (original)

They’re close to the last people in the training room, wandering into the nearly full space. Nolan goes pink when everyone stops to look at him, the whole team in their blacks and oranges, the support staff in their whites and navies. (i had a whole world of worldbuilding that i wanted to do with this fic but my momentum got cut off in exactly the wrong way at exactly the wrong time. i might revisit it in the future, but by the end i was just trying to get everything DONE) It’s a clear delineation of team and not team, and Nolan seems to have picked the wrong colour. TK could’ve fucking told him.

“You could’ve told me,” he hisses and peers through the onset blurry confusion. (really enjoyed putting thought into what different emotions could manifest as! confusion makes everything blurry!)

“Told you… oh. No, it’s chill. You’re new and usually it doesn’t matter if you’re in uniform.”

It makes him stand out more, a target on his back. An anomaly. He scowls at his shoes, breathing through the restless energy that’s taken up residence in the room. (nolan being set apart, by choice or not, is a big theme) If he didn’t know better, he would’ve thought there was a storm coming, that Laughts had let his lightning go.

The last person on the team must finally find their way in because the door snicks shut with a click audible over the quiet talking. It’s like a signal, the way everyone goes quiet and swings their head in Nolan’s direction. It feels like being pinned and, for a split second, all he can feel is the overwhelming lilt of his own fear. It’s so strong, he half-wonders if he’s projecting or intaking, if someone nearby is getting hunted. (being the new guy is scary)

“Nolan Patrick,” something crackles over the speakers and Nolan flinches. “Welcome to the team.”

There’s a whooping that goes up from the boys, loud and unexpected. TK yells with them and looks like he’s a split second away from elbowing him in the side.

A black-suited figure comes down, one that Nolan recognizes as Coach, with Claude at his shoulder. He nods instead of extending his hand to shake. Nolan inclines his head back.

“Now, Patrick. We’ll get you back in the lab for individual testing soon enough, but we usually like to do the introductory session with everyone else, helps everyone know what they’re working with. No one’s going to intentionally hurt you, so don’t do any permanent damage.” (i did not want to write boring testing and wanted to get to the good part, so i made it work)

“I’ll try not to,” Nolan says after a second.

“Scrimmage first. You’re with Claude. Divide up, boys.” He yells the last part and the crowd starts to split between oranges and charcoals, lining up against opposite walls of the oval-shaped room. TK gives him a mischievous smile and then disappears, reappearing down at the other side of the long, long hall.

“Don’t be nervous, kid,” Claude says quietly, duly scanning the room as he takes in his team. He’s excited, Nolan can feel it patter against his skin like raindrops. “It’s all good fun, eh?”

“It’s training.” (nolan and claude’s dynamic is so important to me personally)

He smiles, sharp. “Fun training. Low stakes.”

Easy for him to say, he’s not being watched by a hundred pairs of eyes from every side, waiting to watch him fail. He doesn’t bother to say this.

“Just don’t get too close to Laughton. Or Coots.”

“I don’t know who Coots is,” he mumbles and Claude snickers, shifting his weight. There’s a warning whistle.

“Alright, Nolan. Are you defensive or offensive?” (i wanted to preserve some structure from hockey so it’s not so different. i messed with lines a little because i couldn’t think of a good reason why defense/offense shouldn’t be mixed, but i genuinely tried to keep people’s positioning consistent with their real life position)

Nolan frowns deeper. “Uh, neither?” Claude swings around to look at him in surprise and he feels his shoulders inching up towards his ears. “Or maybe both,” he offers. “Not sure.”

Claude stares at him for a second. “You were second in the Academy and you don’t even know what’s your positioning?” (i actually couldn’t decide if nolan’s ability was more defense or offense, so i handwaved it)

Nolan chews on his cheek for a second. His ability isn’t so easy to position, isn’t so easy to fit into a designation. It‘s part of what makes him wanted. “Well… yeah. I guess.”

He mutters something that sounds like French and then heaves a sigh.

“Okay, just… don’t get flattened. Or shocked. (foreshadowing!) And don’t permanently harm anyone, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Stay behind me if you need protection but watch out for people coming around back. TK’s sneaky like that.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t hit anyone in orange.”

“I won’t,” Nolan says and Claude grins at him again.

“Watch out for JVR’s teeth.” (this is just claude messing with him)

“I don’t know who anyone is,” he reminds him, mildly exasperated, just as the second whistle goes, and the entire room explodes into furious movement.

Nolan’s done scrimmages like this before, of course he has, but it’s different this time. Different when it’s people who know their boundaries, know their abilities, and aren’t just trying to figure it all out. (i needed a reason for nolan to not keep his cool later, and this seemed as good as a reason as any) No one screams because they got hit by a too-strong blast, or shorts out in the middle of the neutral zone, or collapses. (the flip side is, of course, i then needed to describe the difference between juniors/the real thing) Instead, the two sides flow together like water, easy and fluid, as the sounds of a fight start up. It tastes like ozone again, sweetened by eagerness and fondness. They’re having fun, Nolan realises, like G said.

The two of them hang at the back of their crowd, a thin edge of frustration coming from Claude, and he knows that they’re in the back for him, that Claude usually is up front, leading. (claude likes to play, in every universe)

“We can—” he starts and cuts himself off when a�� something… lands in front of them. Claude’s grin turns delighted, eager, hungry.

“Oh, a rematch, ya fuckin’ pigeon?” G says and the monster chirps, sharp teeth snapping. “You’re fucking on.” (i chose JVR’s ability purely to make this joke. every power in here is either carefully chosen for plot reasons, or to make a joke)

“Uh,” says Nolan.

“Watch my back,” he manages to shout and then he’s launching himself at the creature. Nolan whirls around and watches his back.

“So you’re defensive,” says TK, appearing in front of him with a blink. He’s unwrapping a protein bar. (speedsters eating all the time is one of my favourite tropes) “Interesting.”

“I’m not— anything.”

“Okay, Mr. Number Two In The Academy,” he teases back, half garbled from the food in his mouth. “Are you supposed to be guarding?”

“I guess?”

TK snorts. “Let’s see what you can do, pretty boy.” (he’s watched too many bad superhero movies)

He blurs and Nolan feels something crash into his body, an impossible weight that nearly pushes him over. He gets his feet under him just in time, manages to stumble instead of fall, and TK is in the place he just vacated. (this served a lot of purposes! it slows down the fight scene a little so it paces correctly, gives a little more insight into both how TK processes scrimmages and his characterisation a little, and it gives them more time to build rapport.)

“Think I can distract your captain long enough for JVR to pin him?”

“I think you would’ve done it already if that was your plan,” Nolan answers, just as a hand clamps down on his shoulder. TK wasn’t lying about being a distraction, then. “Fuck,” he sputters out and the hand drives him down, impossibly heavy. (there’s a lot of potential abilities that could’ve sparked this reaction-- we see laughts do it later-- but i needed something not permanently damaging but still dire. i know later i say provy’s invulnerable, because that would be a quick way to explain for people, but what’s really going on here is that he’s controlling his density, and that’s what makes him hard to hurt.) Without thinking, he wraps his own fingers around the strange wrist and opens up the connection, funnels everything he can through his palm, and lets loose.

His attacker screams. (a scream and a short sentence like this is a very effective tool in communicating the gravity of a situation.)

There’s a whistle and the whole room freezes, everyone turning to look at the two of them. Nolan’s on his knees and the man is hunched over him, only upright because of his knees braced against Nolan’s back and his fingers in a death grip on Nolan’s shoulder. (figuring out the physical positioning for this was fun)

Nolan can barely see, can barely process anything through the overwhelming shock radiating from every angle, and the terror rebounding between him and his attacker, getting stronger with every bounce. It’s black like oil, all-consuming as it slides across his vision and down his throat, tasting like sulfur. Everyone always said that fire-and-brimstone was anger, but to Nolan, it’s always been the scentflavourfeeling of pure, unadulterated fear. (okay, this is really what i wanted to show with this scene: exactly how dangerous nolan is and how that danger presents. people are wary of him because he can tell their emotions, but even though that’s embarrassing, the fact that he can control their emotions to the point where they forget everything else is where he gets truly scary. that’s why people don’t touch him. he’s also been trained to react on instinct to do the worst damage possible as fast as possible, and paralyzing fear is gonna get him there every time) He chokes, bends over his thighs, as the weight bears down on him. He’s going to be crushed by a stranger slash teammate on his first day. What a way to go. How embarrassing. (a moment of levity to showcase the danger, and to stay true to nolan’s character.)

He lets go out of self-preservation when his forehead bumps his knees, bracing both his hands against the ground, and there’s a burst of awe that cuts through everything like a beam of sunlight. (a clear contrast to the oil description a paragraph earlier) When he looks up, follows the feeling, TK’s eyes are wide.

“But Provy’s invulnerable,” someone says, stunned, and he wrenches himself away, sliding sideways so his attacker— Provy, apparently— can slump to the ground. Nolan’s on his back, staring at everyone who’s staring at him.

“I—” he starts and then stops, licking his lips. His brain is so fried, too much going through his body. It’s a lot of strong feelings, too many for all his defences, and it’s overwhelming. He tries again. “I.” (i don’t know if anyone notices but i do try to adjust my spelling to the spelling the narrator would use)

“Holy shit, Pat,” TK breathes. Provy groans and Nolan refocusses for a moment, touches his arm just long enough to push contentment through, enough to drive away the horror that lingers. It’s as much for Nolan as it is for Provy, clears away the rest of the black oil. “What did you do?” (trying to establish that patty’s not an asshole and

“If that’s number two,” Claude says, “then I don’t want to see what the number one can do.”

Nico can control fire, and can control it really well. It’s pretty sick to see. He deserved the number one. (someone asked me if this is because he went to the devils-- no, that’s just a coincidence lol i just needed a power that was conceivably more powerful than nolan’s)

Provy pops his head up. He’s younger than Nolan thought, closer to his age and TK’s than Claude’s. He’s grinning, inexplicably. (the duality of provy-kind)

“That was incredible,” he says, and the happiness tastes like Nolan’s own. (worldbuilding!) Inorganic, but it’s the most he can do after putting the guy on his back. “But fuck, I never want to do that again.”

“So,” Coach says, shouldering his way through the crowd. Gingerly, Nolan sits up. “Provorov’s invulnerable to most physical attacks—”

“Haven’t been flattened in years,” Provy interrupts happily. Coach cuts a look at him and he snaps his mouth closed. (he’s still just a kiiiiid they’re all so young)

“—and the new kid comes in and does what no one else has done for years. What the fuck do you have sparking under your skin, bud?”

Nolan swallows. Abilities are weird. People are weird about them, even those who have them too, when it comes to ones like his. (patty being set apart, yet again!) It’s one thing to have some sort of physical power, one that you can turn off most of the time, and entirely another to be able to mess with people’s heads. He kept that shit under lock, as much as he could, even through the Academy. It’s normal to not reveal abilities to the teams, helps keep things secure and confidential. It’s why the rankings exist, so the teams spread out across the continent know a little how to prepare. Now that he’s placed, he should be able to talk about it. Could speak freely, if he wanted, but. But.

Anticipation tastes a lot like metal, that much different from the ozone of adrenaline. A complement. Nolan’s mouth is filled with the iron flavour of it as the whole room waits out to hear what he’s going to say. He licks his lips again, tastes it stronger.

“Empath,” he says quietly, and feels the emotions in the room change like the air before a storm. “I’m an empath.”

For a second, everything is too heightened and chaotic to make sense of, the team readjusting with the new information, and then it all settles into something understandable. The cherry-bright smell of curiosity, confusion blurring the sides of the room, fear and anxiety joining the anticipation on his tongue. There’s satisfaction too, humming gently against Nolan’s body, but he can’t figure out where it’s coming from just yet. (the satisfaction is coming from coach, claude, and tk, all for different reasons, but it also hints at emotions from different people having their own tint)

“Oh,” Provy drags out, running a hand through his hair. “That makes a lot of sense.”

“Touch-based?” Coach presses.

“To transmit emotions, yeah,” he says. “Not, uh. Not for input, though.”

“Input, like—”

“Like I can tell what you’re feeling. All the time, as long as you’re near me,” he says and closes his eyes against the shift that causes too.

“Well,” Coach says after a moment. “Looks like we have some readjusting to do.”

and that’s the end of that segment! i don’t know if i accomplished everything i wanted to, but i certainly tried. i really liked how this came out-- it was punchy without being too long and not too many info-dumps. very nice @ me. i think packing a bunch of emotion in (as was necessary, given nolan’s superpower) and taking time to explain it was really helpful for the pacing. also it let me get away without trying to figure out so much emotion. thank you!

#my fic #hockey fic #hockey bros #i'm glad you liked this fic!!!!#i need to respond to your comment #also if this is not the scrimmage you were talking about.... i 'm sorry #personal issues #tk/patty #idiots to lovers #ferryboatpeak #signed sealed delivered

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retvenkos · 4 years

Text

heart pt. 2 // john ambrose mcclaren

To All The Boys: P.S. I Still Love You - One-Sided John Ambrose McClaren x Lara Jean, One-Sided John Ambrose McClaren x Reader, slight fluff, slight angst

requested

Summary: For one moment, you eyes lingered on your phone. John Ambrose had gone to hang out with Lara Jean and a few old friends at the old treehouse they used to haunt in their youth. He had been nervous about it for days prior, and you had joking told him to text you and S.O.S. if he needed an out. You were almost certain he wasn’t going to take you up of your offer, but for the last hour you had the inexplicable feeling that he would. What was it? Intuition? Desire?

pt. 1

Part of you wanted to pull away from John Ambrose McClaren the moment he expressed that his heart did not belong to you. It was the sensible part of you, perhaps - the part of you that was self preserving and knew that nothing good could come from lingering near a boy who had the potential to break your heart into dozens of tiny pieces. But, another part of you - evidently, the more persuasive part - begged you to stay by his side, despite what would come.

You hadn’t known Lara Jean Covey for a long time. You no longer went to school with her or even lived nearby. You hadn’t seen her since sixth grade, when she and John were attached at the hip. You had no idea what she was like, but some nights, you would stay up late, concocting stories about what she was like.

You figured she was a cheerleader or some athletic type. Who else had the confidence to send a love letter to a boy she hadn’t seen in literal years?

Yes. You were sure of it. Lara Jean Covey was the complete opposite of your John Ambrose, and because of that, their relationship could only progress in one of who ways:

1. John Ambrose meets her, realizes how much she had changed, and is immediately shocked. Being the gentleman that he is, he’d try to disregard how different she is from the last time they had spoken. Things would go badly as they tried and failed to reconnect, and they would eventually part ways, John disappointed at getting his hopes up. You would console him while he was an emotional wreck, saying he was too good for her, anyway, and you would mean it more than he understood. OR,

2. The two meet and it’s the perfect combination of opposites attracting and having enough history and vague similar interests to sustain the perfect relationship. John Ambrose would be head over heels for the girl who had been an old friend, once, and a new love interest, now. They would move fast, and eventually you would be left giving him recommendations for date spots and giving him pep talks. You’d always be at his side, but farther away now that he had someone else to fill his days.

Was it wrong for you to prefer the former?

Not that you wanted John Ambrose to be heartbroken. You knew what it felt like to get your hopes up for nothing and wouldn’t wish it on him for a moment. But would you be able to stomach the two of them together, when push came to shove? Would you be able to drift away from John Ambrose, knowing it was for your love of him, that you held him at bay?

You sat on your floor with a notebook open in front of you, waiting to be filled, but found yourself unwilling to create anything on the blank page. You sighed and popped in your headphones, turning up the music so as to drown out the conflicting voices in your head.

For one moment, you eyes lingered on your phone. John Ambrose had gone to hang out with Lara Jean and a few old friends at the old treehouse they used to haunt in their youth. He had been nervous about it for days prior, and you had joking told him to text you and S.O.S. if he needed an out. You were almost certain he wasn’t going to take you up of your offer, but for the last hour you had the inexplicable feeling that he would. What was it? Intuition? Desire?

You sighed at your hopelessness and turned back to your empty page.

You worked, your head bobbing to the music only you could properly hear, your face settled in a concentrated sort of frown, and when someone knocked on your bedroom door, you didn’t hear them.

Knock knock.

You erased what you had just put down on the page, twirling the pencil in your hand like a baton.

Knock knock.

You smiled as one of your favorite songs came on, reminding you of memories with John Ambrose - walking to the mall in the summer because neither of you had a car and wandering through the stores, not having enough money to buy anything of value. You would always end up at the vending machines at some point, and John always seemed to have just enough quarters in his pockets to get you both something without having to break the single, crumpled dollar bill he had with him. The summer’s top 100 always seemed to play on loop, there, and while the songs were synthetic pop, and not always to your taste, it reminded you of him.

Bing!

The sound of your phone cut through the music, catching your attention and pulling you back to the present. You stretched to reach your phone and dragged it back to you, unlocking it with practiced ease.

from: johnny (12:04 p.m.) S.O.S.

You immediately stood up, disregarding your notebook on the floor as you snapped to attention. Looking for a pair of shoes you could slip on, you typed out a next.

to: johnny where r u?

Bing! He was quick to answer you back.

from: johnny Outside your door.

You pulled out your earbuds and unlocked your door, swinging it open.

John Ambrose stood on the other side of your doorframe, his hands holding his phone tightly. He smiled, but it didn’t meet his eyes. “I see you got my text.”

“What’s wrong?”

You allowed him in and he sat in your desk chair, careful to avoid stepping on your current project that lay abandoned on the floor. He was already comfortable in your space, and if it weren’t for the look on his face, your mind would have dwelled on that thought.

“How was the treehouse?” You tried again, and you saw him stiffen at the comment.

John Ambrose opened his mouth, but hesitated before speaking, as though trying to find the right sentiment. “Eventful,” he eventually said.

Oh?

One of your eyebrows shot up and he sighed. You knew the feeling. Usually it was you who had a complete lack of words for what happened in the world around you, but this time, it was him. It was puzzling, really.

John Ambrose McClaren always seemed to understand everything - it was his super power, really. There was no situation too dificult, no problem beyond comprehension. John could figure everything out - he always had. When you didn’t understand it, he did. That had always been part of your dynamic - there was nothing that the two of your couldn’t sleuth when given the time and proper motivation.

But matters of the heart were never quite so simple as everything else. You knew that better than anything. Sometimes, there was no clear answer.

John averted his eyes, turning his body to the opposite wall, trying again. “Lara Jean apparently has a boyfriend.”

“What?”

“And old friend, too - Peter Kavinsky.”

You blinked furiously, your head shaking back and forth. After a moment, you moved to better see John’s face, to gauge his reaction to finding out.

He was staring at your wall, blankly, his eyes seeing right through the pictures you had put up, there, most of them containing the two of you in various stages of your lives. You wondered what he was thinking, but he was in his own world, now, one where he probably relived every moment he had spent misreading signals from the girl he had always had a crush on. He had been convinced that she liked him back - how could he have gotten it so wrong?

“I’m sorry.” On instinct, you walked over to him and sat down of the ground next to his chair, resting your head against his knee.

For a minute or so, he was quiet. When he eventually spoke, his voice was thick with emotion. “I thought I had a chance, y’know?”

You nodded and hugged his calves, the only part of his that you could easily reach for your place on the ground. You hoped it conveyed the same sweetness as an actual embrace, something that could comfort him they way he had always comforted you.

“Why would she send me that letter if she was already involved with Kavinsky?” He shook his head, as though trying to clear it of cobwebs so that he might be able to understand. “Why even write it?”

He asked valid questions - ones you didn’t know the answer to.

“Even if she thought I would never receive it, why address it to me? Why write something like that?”

Your mind went back to the writing that Lara Jean had left on that love letter to John Ambrose. You considered her words - so sincere, so brave. They were really quite puzzling, especially for not having meant them. But... no... She had to mean it. Otherwise, why write it? What did she have to gain from making love letters that didn’t mean anything? From what you had heard, Lara Jean only had a lot to lose - a boyfriend and now, an old friend.

But, if that letter did mean something, why send it now? What did she have to gain by making John Ambrose McClaren believe that he had a chance with her?

Lara Jean was only losing, in the end.

You knew that John Ambrose was worth losing everything, for. Did she?

“Feelings aren’t always rational, I guess.” You spoke, you eyes ahead, looking at the photos of your life, with John Ambrose always at your side. You didn’t notice him looking at you, then, and if you had, it would have only given more stock to your words. “Loving the people you do doesn’t always make sense.”

“You sound as though your talking from experience, (Y/n).”

You looked at John Ambrose, gazing deep into his eyes; you could see everything you loved about in reflected in their depths - his compassion, his cleverness, his talent, his love. You smiled, dipping your head in a nod, as if allowing him in on one of your best kept secrets.

“Yeah, I am.”

#to all the boys i've loved before #to all the boys #p.s. i still love you #tatbilb #john ambrose mcclaren #john ambrose x lara jean #x reader #reader insert #imagine #fic #one shot #one sided feelings #slight angst #slight fluff

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toooldforfandom-liveblogs · 4 years

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She-Ra and the Princesses of Power S02E05 - White Out

White Out makes me think of snow and blizzards but Google is telling me that it's also the name for the liquid used to fix mistakes when people wrote with pen on paper. Y'know, prehistory. So. It could be something related to Frosta or it could be someone trying to tape over a mistake? Or maybe both. Or none of those at all. I don't know, so let's do this!

This explains why neither of these two appeared in the previous episode. Apparently they are in... a mountain? Or one of the planet's poles?

When the... "beast" attacked the Best Friends Squad back in the first episode of the first season, I really thought they'd be more prevalent that they'd been. I think the horse has done more damage through the show than the local wildlife.

It makes sense that they'd mostly ignore that threat considering the focus of the show has been firmly in the confrontation between The Horde and The Rebellion, but now that Catra and Entrapta seem to be alone in the snow... what a perfect opportunity for a winter horror episode plot.

Hey, I think I already watched this episode! They are going to find an iceberg with a glowing kid inside.

Well, that's a coat.

They burned down and sank to the bottom of the ocean, Bow. Haven't you learned anything about Seahawk?

Yeah, have to agree, Fire would have been a better fate.

The only man in the entire alliance with a boat.

It's always surprising when a cartoon character shows up with different clothes because it's so uncommon.

oh no my continuity theories

I'll forgive the wonky eyes this time because they are very appropriate.

SCORPIA IS ASKING CATRA OUT IN A DATE.

To think all that effort and cute bumbling is being wasted on Catra.

oooh, evil virus shard is back

I'm not sure why that's a surprise.

I was hoping she wouldn't mention that tiny tidbit of info but nope. And I doubt Catra is going to have any doubts about using it

But She-Ra didn't lose her powers, she lost them because they had to take out the sword from her hands before she continued her rampage. Is the monster of this winter horror movie actually going to be She-Ra? Because I want to watch that. Good characters turned evil are always fun.

Also Scorpia being the protagonist of her own romcom is also very good.

Every time Sea Hawks appears I fear it'll be the episode where he starts getting annoying but nope, still great.

Now I'm thinking that Catra is going to disable She-Ra with the murder-virus and immediately after they'll all get attacked by a snow monster. Because, y'know, Catra can't win.

...I can't take them seriously when most of them look like marshmallows.

Adora's biggest character development moment in this show will be when she realizes that chasing Catra is always a bad idea.

There goes my theory from last episode that Scorpia didn't want to kill Glimmer. Dead, like Glimmer.

She's already falling to her death, there's no reason to stress over some creepy monster eyes.

sending thoughts and prayers

First meeting in person! I expected more from everyone else but I guess they are busy.

You know the writers have done a good job with a character when you hear something like that and you go "yup, that's entrapta"

Welp, now she'll have the guts to murder Catra. Unless she drops the sword.

As awesome as I hoped.

Catra right now.

I was thinking that this episode seemed to be moving a bit fast since they were already fighting a third into the episode but the teams separating could be interesting. I wish one of the "bad guys" was falling with them though, that dynamic is always fun.

She says, seconds before Mad She-Ra turns and notices them there.

And Entrapta is loving it, of course.

This could have some interesting consequences, if it shows Catra that she can only win against She-Ra because Adora can't avoid going easy on her. Catra knows this deep down, she even takes advantage of it but that doesn't mean that it wouldn't hurt her pride to actually lose.

"puny cat"

On one hand I'm loving this. On the other, I'm worried because the biggest reason why Adora feels so overwhelmed is because according to Light Hope, Mara went crazy and did a bunch of bad stuff. What if Adora starts feeling guilty about what's happening here? But, the virus could also provide an alternate explanation for Mara's rampage (if she indeed went crazy instead of just acting against Light Hope's orders because of attachment~)

what... what did you think she was?

Catra, excelling at shoving down traumatic experiences and hiding them with a devil-may-care attitude since... I dunno, how old is she again?

that's not good

Noo, don't destroy the murder-virus.

I'm glad they are actually talking about this possibility because it was the first thing that came to my mind after the episode the virus appeared. It's such a Catra plan.

Of course, the fact that they are talking about it probably means it won't happen, unless they are setting up the season finale early?

Is Scorpia going to get jealous and set Adora free?

I was starting to get a bit eye-rolly at Sea Hawk's weird issues but the shanty brought him back to awesome. Really walking the knife's edge with him.

I love angry hulking out She-Ra but Drunk Adora is the best side effect of that virus.

oh my god

You can see Scorpia's soul leaving her body.

Adora, the dignified and elegant owner of the sword of protection.

She did need a break

I don't know, Scorpia doesn't seem to be in the closet about anything.

Oh no, she's turning into the worst type of drunk: the weepy drunk

The monsters have been in the background of every fight scene, that's the opposite of a twist!

An example of how well this show nails the characters's expressions.

And one more. I complain sometimes about the animation and the wonky eyes but these jokes show how the animators can do a lot with very little.

Sadly, childhood friends always win, the one trope to beat them all.

I didn't sign up for Scorpia feels.

I didn't see this coming at all. Of course the two joke characters would empathize with each other.

WHY WOULD YOU TELL THAT TO ENTRAPTA? You're just giving her more ideas.

Light Hope did mention how everything in Etheria was part of their system. Does that include the fauna?

This is weirdly heartwarming.

getting real

That was way cuter than I expected. Nothing like getting some validation from a drunk lady to reboot their self-esteem.

They are getting slightly better about this but they still like some drastic mood swings between scenes.

Adora should always be drunk.

Can't wait for the fourth season episode where Adora struggles with her addiction to the virus, the one thing that lets her forget about her worries in a world consumed by war.

And now it's back to heavy. Does she save Catra, risking her anger? Or keep the disk? I think she's is going to destroy the disk, it's the right thing to do for Catra even if she can't see it right now, and that's the type of character Scorpia seems to be.

Wow, I didn't expect this. Catra is seeing Scorpia for the first time.

Right there with you, Sea Hawk.

Look at Scorpia's face! Look at her! She's so happy!

I'm not sure if it's because I haven't watched She-Ra in so long but this is the first episode I remember feeling long. Not in a bad way, it's not like I couldn't wait for it to end, but it's the first time that made me think "huh, only X minutes in." Part of it is probably because the first third/half felt like it could have been an early season 1 episode, with a setup, some chatting and a fight. Then the turn happened and it switched to something more complex.

The conversation between Sea Hawk and Scorpia was cute and wholesome, and I'm glad they both found someone who could understand them, but I'm not 100% happy with Scorpia's resolution to she won't leave Catra. It was very... I'm not sure how to explain it without making it sound way more problematic than I actually think it is. It shifts the responsibility about Catra treating her like crap to Scorpia.

It did work out by the end when she actually stood up to Catra and did what she thought was best, so maybe I'm worrying about nothing.

I'm somewhat sad by the death of the virus as a plot device, I liked the idea of the plan Catra had for a Mad She-Ra rampaging through the rebellion but at least we got a brief glimpse of what could happen. Curiously enough we didn't get to see the fallout for Adora so I hope it doesn't get glossed over the next episode. Losing control like that was a big deal last season and it should still be considering all the new baggage Adora is dealing now.

It was a great episode, it went places I didn't expect it to go and the show keeps building up the characters in interesting ways. Only two episodes left! Until next time!

#shera liveblog #shera #shera s02e05 #spop

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thebreakfastgenie · 4 years

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Spock’s Death is Really Good Writing

Spock’s death in Wrath of Khan is so good. It’s just so good! And Into Darkness fails spectacularly at recreating it.

Even with all the action, the climax of the movie, at least emotionally, is the warp core scene. The audience isn’t waiting for Kirk to kill Khan, they’re waiting to hear Spock’s last words. This is an excellent scene that was absolutely written for Spock. Everything about it is utterly, tragically logical.

I don’t think it’s impossible to do an AU where the roles are reversed. I actually think it’s an interesting idea, and I suspect plenty fic writers did it long before JJ Abrams came on the scene. There are parts of Kirk’s death in Into Darkness that I think work pretty well. The final goodbye with Spock is well done and the fingers forming the taal just before he dies is really genius. Everything that leads up to that, however, is very different:

Spock hears what’s going on and immediately does the mental math. We can see the moment he realize, long before anyone else, that it’s not possible for Scotty to get the warp core online in time.

Spock gets up and leaves quietly. It’s not a dramatic moment. Kirk is so busy with the crisis he doesn’t even notice.

There is no action. Nothing to climb, no one to punch, just determination.

Bones being the one who tries to stop Spock is extremely significant. That scene is entirely informed by the well-documented and often contentious history between those two characters.

There’s a lovely moment of dramatic irony when Kirk assumes Scotty has pulled off another one of his famous miracles, but the audience already knows it wasn’t him. This whole movie is about Kirk being a step behind; Khan gets the better of him at several key points this way. Once again, Kirk is one step behind, but as soon as Bones asks him to come down, he sees Spock’s empty chair and knows everything.

For me, at least, there is something poignant about middle-aged Kirk running through the corridors. He’s going as fast as he can, but still clearly slowed by age, and there’s something about it that I feel Zachary Quinto’s power sprint lacks.

The analogous scene in Into Darkness is much more of an action sequence:

Kirk is climbing things and swinging around. It lacks everything I find unique and interesting in Wrath of Khan.

Kirk punches someone to knock them out. Obviously the nerve pinch wasn’t available, but it just doesn’t fit the feel of the scene, for me.

Replacing Bones as the person who tries to stop the hero with Scotty changes the tone entirely. Scotty was one of the first people Kirk befriended in the previous movie and has always been on Kirk’s side, more loyal to him than necessarily to Starfleet. Keeping Bones in the role would not have worked any better for the same reason. As originally filmed, the “you’re not going in there” scene is the final culmination of the Spock-Bones dynamic. Into Darkness provides no substitute.

Kirk and Spock have the opposite problem. Instead of happening after years of closeness, the death happens early in their friendship, which was very recently strained. This is a significant change in context.

There’s one more distinction that is so important I’m giving it its own section:

Spock does not sacrifice himself enthusiastically. He is in no way self-destructive. Spock at the beginning of Wrath of Khan is about as content and balanced as he’s ever been. His experiences in The Motion Picture caused him to realize that a life of pure logic is empty and meaningless. He still reveres logic, but no longer limits himself to it. He has fully accepted both halves of himself. Spock does not particularly want to sacrifice himself, but it is logical and necessary. He does not seek death, but he does accept it.

Kirk in Into Darkness is still struggling with his self-destructive tendencies as established in the previous movie. He may not be outwardly or even consciously eager to die, but he is a death seeker nonetheless. This completely changes the context of his death and the meaning of the act itself. This is reflected in the death scene itself. The use of “because you are my friend” in place of Spock’s famous Wrath of Khan line works well and suits this version of the characters and the status of their relationship, but there is no “needs of the many.” This theme reinforces that Spock’s death is not about him, but rather about the crew, who would die if he did not do it. Its absence from Into Darkness leaves us with no real evidence against Jim Kirk being a death seeker who has found an opportunity to die heroically.

This is not necessarily worse. It’s a very interesting concept, but the movie doesn’t sell it, because it doesn’t retool the entire sequence into its own cohesive story, focusing too heavily on the superficial similarities between the Wrath of Khan scenario and this one.

I’m on the record as being unhappy with AOS and hating this movie in particular. I’ve also said an edgier, alternate timeline reboot of Star Trek is something I would really enjoy if it were executed differently, and I think this is especially true of Into Darkness, and the role reversal in the death. Also, if you’re going to kill a main character that way, you need to commit the entire next movie to bringing them back, and Abrams is a coward for bringing Kirk back before the credits rolled.

#star trek #wrath of khan #star trek into darkness #into darkness #star trek ii: the wrath of khan #twok #st:id

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gg-astrology · 5 years

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Hello! ✨✨ Thank you for your answer! It was so cute! 💕 I was wondering if you could explain how N.N./S.N. could be feel in synastry when aspecting the angles of the other person (asc/I.C./desc/M.C)??

Hey Bere!! 💕💕💕💕 OOF I’m glad we got to talk about it!! 💕💕 🤗 I’ll do my best for this one too! 💕

[Below Cut: Synastry - NN/SN 🌙 aspects to Angles ]

🌙ASCENDANT/DSC - NN/SN

So there’s a couple of different aspects right? Most commonly people like to look at conjuncts/oppositions, but squares and sextiles can be important too.

I’m going to explain it all in strides, so bear with me if it’s a bit long ok askdnff

ASC conjunct NN/SN (opposite DSC) – mostly affects the SN/NN person where they feel comfortable around the ASC person. Since it’s the opposite to their DSC, the Angle person might feel more like they have a lot in common with the NN/SN and thus– their differences can be stark/harder to resolve as well (tries to assimilate NN/SN to themselves)

There’s a natural chemistry, a gravity towards each other. Imagine like, finding someone who just ‘clicks’ with you the right way, it makes one protective of the person but also doesn’t really understand them completely (because y know, NN/SN is the nodal axis, so it’s going to bring movement, while the Angles stay stagnant).

The closer the orb is, the more ‘personal identification’ they will have with the person. I’m thinking of SN specifically, which too much of this can be toxic *but not usually if it’s done well.

For the NN person, the ASC provides a sense of ‘relief’ – like a ‘release’ from their usual routine/person and a ‘flowing’ of energy through being around them, being in their presence. The NN opposite to the DSC sees their inner-self, their inner reflection. One thing that could come from this is that the NN shines a ‘light’ on the DSC so the ASC will have to confront (’I am me and I have to love who I am’) as well.

The ASC person gains ‘direction’ from the Nodal Axis, remember that Nodal Axis are Lunar Nodes. So it’s like a sandwich, layering the ASC either as a top bun or a bottom bun.

The ASC is the meat, make sure that if it’s the bottom bun it doesn’t get soggy. And if it’s the top bun, that it the meat doesn’t fall out/feel unsupported too much.

ASC square NN/SN (also* square DSC)- love this, kind of challenging. Bantering quality to it. It’s a teasing kind of dynamic, where you play ‘run catch’ with each other. Make sure not to do it too much though, since it can lead to complications later/no where productive if each side doesn’t know how to ‘touch’ each other once in a while (make contact/emphasize/understand each other and support them)

Unlike the earlier Conjunct/Opposition, this square is mutual to both ASC/DSC so there’s no danger of ‘identifying too much with one side over the other’ here– the NN/SN is an autonomous person, independent– which is why they bring motion to them (and a certain respect from the Angles person)

NN/SN is the one that ‘runs’. Its kind of like tag? They tag the ASC and then they flounder away. ‘catch me!’ and the only clue you get is their giggle/laugh coming from a direction. To the NN/SN person, the ASC is the ‘challenge’– watch that they don’t want to ‘change’ or ‘drag’ them too much (NN/SN to ASC) if they learn how to understand/emphasize/touch the ASC person– they can support this relationship better as well.

The Angle person is the one who gains a lot from this relationship, often time because it’s square– they’re usually up for the challenge (if their other placements indicate that as well). They see the opportunity, the goal in mind and they go for it. They don’t mind the hardship as long as they can progress/become better. Because see, the end goal for them is to reach the MC (so self-development/improvement is always appreciated)

ASC opposition NN/SN (conjunct. DSC) - this is more of a ‘touch but doesn’t know how to let go’ situation. Where they’re on a push/pull tug of war, on one hand that means the NN/SN would be conjunct to the DSC and that would mean the ASC is constantly desiring/looking to the NN/SN to be the ‘ideal’ kind of person for them (whether it’s platonic/romantic/etc.)

There’s a desire to be there, get there. Climb over the rope and just reach out to touch them from the Angle person. The NN/SN is both there and not there at the same time. They are reflective of the parts the Angle person is missing/wants to have in their person, but at the same time they have to discover that inside of themselves.

The SN/NN person feels the same about the Angle person, this is probably the most?? Equalized relationship where they both reflect ‘desire’ in each other. Because the NN/SN is conjunct to the DSC, there’s a sense of ‘knowing’ someone or the Angle person letting them know ‘they hit the nail on the spot’.

Because the NN/SN is in opposition of the ASC, they may admire the ASC/want to be there. It could also indicate polarizing relationship, where one partner wants the other but the emotion/desire isn’t receptive on the other’s end.

ASC/DSC- sextile- NN/SN - whether it swings by the ASC or the DSC, with sextile and trine in particular the degrees (more exact it is) is important. ASC sextile NN/SN brings an element of support, not necessarily romantic or sexual or desirable but it’s good for building a relationship. DSC sextile NN/SN may tend to be more private, more emotional support than ASC but it’s still a good building block as well. The NN/SN person doesn’t do much but encourage the ASC/DSC person, perhaps if you feel like there’s a strong attraction to them– it might be something else in the chart/asteroids?

ASC/DSC - trine - NN/SN - pretty good to be honest? Nothing much to say because this is a naturalized reaction. Like there’s not a lot of options to choose from in the 12 zodiacs, so you’ll most likely going to have this with someone you already know already as well.

🌙 IC/MC - NN/SN

Next we get to the IC/MC aspects to NN/SN, again like the ASC/DSC we can group some of them together as well.

IC Conjunct NN/SN (opposition MC) - because the nodes are lunar nodes, the SN/IC conjunct is particularly powerful. It’ll be hard to deny the attraction (not necessarily romantic, sometimes it can be just ‘do I know you’ because of the ‘familial’ bond– especially with the SN), the comfortability and understanding between them. Both the IC person and the SN person will be magnetized towards each other because they’re comfortable with each other.

On the other hand, if it’s the NN conjunct to IC– it’s a release of past experience, of the roots of experiences. NN brings clarity and regeneration to the IC, like a good spring cleaning. It’s a miracle to have the NN in their life although if badly aspected (with other placements) it might cause problems/uncomfortable being in the ‘bottom of the sky’.

Meanwhile, NN-opposition MC will question and frustrate the MC. Mostly because the direction they lead are different. The Angle person feels like their insides may be cleaned out but after that, they get an overbearing Mum instead. The NN person may tend to nag, question them or directly oppose/try to present something that the MC may feel ‘hinder’ them instead. The directions are different, but they’ll work through it because of the conjunction anyways.

On the other hand, if the SN is in opposition to the MC– the MC will take on the protective role, kind of like ‘this is my roots/representation of my past and I will guide them’ somewhat. They become Baby. Or someone who they can learn from. The MC person ‘revisits’ themselves and their vulnerabilities every time they meet the SN person, the SN teaches them how things could’ve gone differently, how they could better themselves without being too intrusive.

For the Nodal Person, the MC represents someone to teach, someone to learn and guidance to them. Nagging, bantering are often, but it’s mostly done in a familial sort of way.

IC/MC square NN/SN - the Angles being square to the Nodal axis might mean it’s pretty close to the ASC/DSC as well, this is pretty important because there’s a – four way dynamic going on here.

First of all, If the NN/SN are squares to the IC/MC then the person would represent more of autonomous figure– like someone else’s ASC/DSC added to their own chart. It both ‘completes’ the wheel, so there’s a natural self-identity to the figure.

At the same time, these Nodal People brings a lot more configuration/self-evaluation to them as well. Because it would be conjunct/opposition to their ASC/DSC so the Nodal Person Knows Who They Are Externally, but Internally/how they work– they’ll point out things that will benefit the Angle person without inserting/intruding them too much into it.

It’s both personal AND impersonal, unlike the ASC/DSC square where things FEELS personal/like an ‘attack’ to their person (on the horizon, that’s where we lie most consciously) the IC and MC are harder to reach because it shows ‘potential/past-future’. So in a way, the NN/SN person shows us cryptic ways to improve ourselves internally (IC) and exploit it in our future possibilities as well (MC)

The Square aspect of it has more do to with missing emotionality, as in– it can feel a bit impersonal/vague in a way. Because it’s probably aspecting ASC/DSC too– the emotions are wrapped up in those aspects and the IC/MC are more like undercurrents that’s happening/supporting all the thing that goes on there.

Imagine like, Yoda or a Guide Character who helps you by giving you clues on what to do. That’s what it feels like for the IC/MC person.

As for the NN/SN person– again, they’re probably wrapped up in the drama ASC/DSC has for them. But underneath that, the ‘core’ of the problem stems from the squares to the IC/MC. Once they realize that it’s because they represent ALL FOUR Angles to them, the past, present future. They become sort of transcendental. They exists neither here nor there. They’re representative of what they could be, as well as what they have been. The Angles person is the one who has to make up their mind about what the problem is/where it stems from, so that the NN/SN person can point out the way to resolve it truthfully/honestly.

IC opposition NN/SN (conjunct MC) - on the other end of the spectrum, here we have the ASC/DSC square to NN/SN while its in opposition to the IC. So here with the IC opposition to NN/SN – the NN/SN person may shine a light/expose the IC of the person to ‘future possibilities’ or movement. Whether or not they take it is up to them, but unlike IC conjunct NN (opposition MC) the NN/SN person won’t try to reprimand/nag the IC/MC person.

NN conjunct to MC is actually really good, not only is it directional/movement is supported– it’s also aligned to each other. This way there’s less bickering, more teamwork. A lot of partnership/supportive energy towards an ‘end goal’ together– usually with more objectivity to them.

SN conjunct to MC shines more light on the IC, in this case it’s showing the IC ways to heal, like emotional balance/nurture and guidance, it’s the Moon that shines over the lake at night.

IC opposition to the NN/SN is mostly comfortable, the only thing about it is that it can be overlooked under everything, the NN/SN person may pull them away from their ‘roots’ whatever that may be, habits are hard to break, and if the IC struggles it can be irreparable.

IC/MC sextile NN/SN - Again, this is pretty good? In a subtle way, this is usually underrated. The NN/SN person doesn’t really serve much of a purpose here for the MC/IC– but they are good supplements for them to feel ‘realigned’ with themselves if they ever need it. It’s like if you feel ‘burnt out’ or ‘stranded’ or ‘frazzled’ – the NN/SN person are good at instinctively knowing what to do to help, or learn quickly how to do so.

IC/MC trine NN/SN - again, like the ASC/DSC earlier, it’s pretty good! I mean with this, it’s more about feeling comfortable/supported with each other. Like someone’s finally in your court. Sneaky side-glances, eye contact level communication. Usually non-verbal communication is common between them. Fondness and foundation of trust/support helps build this relationship as well.

This turned out pretty lengthy, but I hope it makes sense! 💕 To summarize, ASC/DSC is more like the ‘present’ self, most of our emotional response and immediate actions are related towards it. IC/MC are like our objectivity, our ‘past-future’. The effect that the Nodal Axis has on it is usually focused on conjunct to each angles, since that can exemplify ‘what’ type of relationship we have with each other. Each pole of the Nodal Axis is (like the name) an Axis itself. So It’s like overlaying Axis together.

I think some of the spiritual elements to Nodal Axis might be interesting, but for now 💕 This is like the ‘practical’ approach to Nodes in Synastry Aspected to Angles. I hope this helps 💕

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odogaronfang · 6 years

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Your shitposting is great my guy, that’s fun. Tell us some random non plot related bs about the BoTW au?

sorry for not getting to this sooner!! when i get asks like this i like to take a couple of days to gather my thoughts so i can give you a better answer!!

- out of the six of them, i think zelda is the most overall mature. i mean, sure, she’s still a kid like the rest of them, and she has her fun, but when it really comes down to it she’s the most responsible and the best at getting done what needs to get done. it comes as a bit of a surprise to people that don’t know them so well, because most of the time they look at serious boring old vio and think that he’s probably the tired and jaded supervisor but. not so.

- adding onto that last thing- people tend to assume that vio is the very dignified one. emotionally detached, won’t let silly little things like feelings and morality get in the way of a job that needs to be done, reserved and calm and all that superficial stereotype stuff. they half expect the trope of the sort of english-gentry type personality. and they could not be further from the truth. that’s how he is superficially, but, like, get close to him and spend some more time with him and you’ll see. he kind of swings between following his stereotype and being just as irritable and generally frustrated as blue and shadow get, and honestly it’s a roll of the dice as to what he is. also? he does curse a lot. he doesn’t always go around shouting fuck at everyone he sees, but if something’s really getting on his nerves for whatever reason, he can out-curse shadow. and usually it’s more under his breath, but that doesn’t mean he really makes much of an effort to hide it.

- vio and blue have a sort of legolas/gimli fighting dynamic going on when they get into the thick of it. “bet i can kill more of these bokoblins than you” “bet i can take down a moblin in less hits than you” “bet i’ll be the one to kill this talus” type stuff. honestly, if they had an encampment to clear and no one was feeling particularly up to the job, they’d just off-handedly mention the results of the last competition and that would almost guarantee another face-off between the two, and everyone else could just sit back and watch the two of them go at it. in these kinds of situations they both know they’re basically being used but neither of them care much. one of vio’s favorite things to do when this happens is to let blue think she’s racking up the points, and then the moment she’s about to strike the killing blow on something, he’ll take it out with an arrow. and he does it repeatedly.

- shadow is extremely lazy and will use his magic for the most mundane of things, once he gets comfortable using it around them. he won’t feel like getting off the couch to get the plate red’s offering him so he just magics it over. he doesn’t want to pack his things so he just uses magic to shove things in his bag. he doesn’t feel like climbing an eight foot hill so he floats himself up. and all the while everyone, and especially blue, is indignant. “if this magic is so important to your survival why are you wasting it lacing up your boots” “because what if i trip??? i could get HURT and i can’t risk it coming undone” (and then he probably gets swatted on the head with something)

- green is intimately familiar with gerudo religion and customs. in theory he’s a follower of hylia according to the hylians’ belief system, because it was mostly his dad who raised him and that was what his dad practiced, but he’s far more interested and in tune with the gerudo religion, despite spending a lot less time with his mom throughout his life. the breakdown of all that is here, but his favorite heroines are nailuk and imura, and even though technically he hasn’t been formally confirmed into their religion, he still follows it all as though he has. and it isn’t a closed religion, so technically he could go and request passage through the rites like any other devotee, but he’s an anxious child and always shies away from completing the devotional trials. of course, every time the subject comes up with his mother, she affectionately makes fun of him for it, and especially so once she learns of their quest- “oh, so you’re fine running around the continent trying to save the world, but one little molduga and you’re tucking tail?” (he does, eventually, gather up his courage and finally go through with it. he chooses nailuk as his patron heroine and gets a very nice devotional tattoo of a pink lotus on his arm. his mother is very proud of him, and they do make a special one-day exception to the No Men rule to celebrate his official integration into their religion.)

- unless my brain decides to take an unplanned detour through some weird plot point, you will never get to meet vio’s mother, even though she’s alive. this is because, to put it lightly, they are not fond of one another. it was already kind of rough on vio in his early years, because his dad, as a sheikah, lived in kakariko, and she, as a hylian, was forbidden from living there and so lived in tabantha. it led to a very odd and uncoordinated shared-custody situation, where he’d be living with his mother for a year and then out of the blue his dad would drop by and be like come on son we’re going on an adventure. and then he’d go live in kakariko for months with his dad. and it resulted in a confusing flip-flopping of cultures, and it also resulted in a lot of resentment on her part, towards his father. but because his father didn’t live with her (for a complicated number of reasons, one of which involving a pretty serious falling-out concerning the matter of vio’s mixed heritage) she was unable to express it towards who she actually really hated, and so ended up taking it out on vio most of the time, and it came to be that vio really just couldn’t wait for his dad to come back so he could go be in kakariko, which he liked infinitely better than tabantha. at some point she got REALLY nasty and bordered on actually dangerous, so vio finally put his tiny eight-year-old foot down and decided that he would take matters into his own hands, and hopped on his faithful and much beloved horse and just left. and one day he arrived in kakariko and went to his dad’s house and he just kinda walked in like hey old man how’s it been. after some mild concern and fear for his safety, they sat down and vio explained the situation and ended up living in kakariko from then on. after his dad died, he stayed for about another year and a half, because quite frankly he needed people to keep an eye on him, and after that he took to traveling, took up the trade of a merchant as a kind of excuse, and when he was about sixteen or so, used the money he’d saved to get himself a place in hateno, far far away from his mother but still close to the village he considered family. this one got kinda ramble-y but that’s the rundown on the situation, and anyone with any kind of sense won’t bring up the subject with him, because he’ll either get very withdrawn and avoidant or he will get very angry. you don’t want either of those things.

- it takes some time to get past the initial awkwardness of things, for a few reasons, and there will always be some bumps in the road, but out of everyone, shadow trusts vio the most with personal matters. some of it is because they share at least some heritage, and shadow knows that vio will understand his sheikah-bred tendencies a lot more than any of the others. but he also knows that vio will in no way be taking his shit- but he will constructively not take any of his shit. he thinks that red and green will be generally too lenient with whatever is going on with him, and blue will be far too harsh, and zelda lacks a few certain points of experience with his background that would otherwise make her fine to deal with. so if he actually decides to confide in someone or go to someone looking for advice or help, he will usually go to vio, because vio is certainly not going to excuse anything that he’s done wrong, and he will be very up-front about what he’s screwed up, but he’s also better at providing solutions or advice rather than just flat criticism and nothing else. and as much as shadow would like to be coddled and told that he is Perfect The Way He Is, he knows in his heart that that couldn’t be further from the truth, and he knows all too well that vio has no reservations when it comes to calling him out.

-this is a secret that shadow will take to the grave, but there were a few little parts of the yiga that shadow enjoyed and, at times, kind of misses a little bit. even though there were quite a few people in there that he held no love for, there were still others that were welcoming to him, and kind of took him under their wing, especially when he was just coming in as a young kid. he sometimes wishes he could see them again, just to see how things are, but he knows that if he ever does meet them again, it’ll probably be on opposite sides of the battle. and, even more secretly, he did kind of revel in the power that being in the yiga gave him. even as one of the lower-ranked members, he still had more power at his disposal than some of the highest of the high among the non-yiga. he liked knowing that the upper hand was always his and the situations were always his to control, and while some of that stemmed from being so thoroughly trapped under the thumb of his overseers, it was also, in some little dark part of his brain, just part of him as a person.

-blue’s favorite people in all of hyrule (aside from her village, of course) are the gorons. she just loves the atmosphere there. she describes it as an entire town full of bros, and even the most distant of them still share this sort of familial bond that she has yet to see matched among anyone else. the rough-and-tumble attitudes and general relaxed air and casually determined personalities just kinda resonate with her, and by the end of it she kind of ends up as an honorary goron. she also really likes their spice. so does zelda. their food becomes a little dangerous after trips to goron city.

-green’s dad actually used to be in the princess’s personal detail of guards. it was only for about two years, while they were in the process of searching for suitable champions, but it happened, and even through the calamity, he managed to preserve the uniform and the sword he was given. when green was little, he used to steal the clothes all the time and dress up in them and walk around acting like a guard. he’d stand in front of the door to the kitchen with his little wooden sparring sword in his hands and demand to know his dad’s name and business before he’d allow him to enter. and even though the hat was far too big for him, even when they went out to practice with their swords or tend their garden or go hunting, green would insist upon wearing it, and even though it fell in front of his eyes every ten seconds he refused to ever leave it at home. even still it’s an inside joke between them to ask name and business before letting the other go anywhere.

#botw au #my au #four swords #i really love these kids #i also like making sad backstories but its my au so i get to do that #theyre all dork idiots tho i love them so much #open inbox time

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