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alovesongtheywrote · 4 months

Note

pretty please write another chapter of nightmare academia!! /nf your writing is so good!!

♥ Summary: thank you!! here u go!! In this chapter of Nightmare Academia, Reid fixes your mistakes and you get all blushy about it.

♥ Warnings: a minor character deals with intrusive thoughts and self-worth issues. also, implications of gambling and mentions of sex

♥ A/N: yay, chapter complete! now if spencer could come and tell me that i'm better than my intrusive thoughts, that would be great <3

♥ Word Count: 1,970

Series Masterlist

♥♥♥

Spencer was having an okay sort of day. Yes, it was a Monday, but despite all that, things had gone somewhat well. His classes had passed by smoothly, his students had asked all the right questions, and the heat in the building had come back on. The terrible cursed image you had set as his desktop screen seemed less cursed today, and none of his belongings had mysteriously disappeared, only to return later somewhere on your person.

Was it weird that he missed his belongings disappearing mysteriously, only to return later somewhere on your person?

Reid pondered that as he sat in his last class of the day. His students were discussing a new concept amongst themselves in the last few minutes, so he definitely had the time- until he didn’t. Before he could reach any epiphany, Spencer’s phone buzzed, vibrating so hard that it made the man jump.

In an instant, every eye in the room was on Spencer Reid, shocked and delighted that the notoriously technophobic professor’s phone was vibrating away during class. Spencer felt like he was twelve again. At least now, as a grown man and professor, he could dismiss the goddamned class.

He pretended he couldn’t feel their eyes on him as they filed out of the room- they weren’t judging him. Sometimes phones go BZZZZZZZZT in the middle of class, life’s just like that sometimes. No, his students were all starting with one specific thought on their minds.

“Whatever message that is, it’s 100% from Professor (L/N).”

And I mean. They weren’t wrong. A text from you shone out from Spencer’s phone, begging to be read.

(L/N) (The Nuisance): hey nerd, is there a paper on fight club in our office?

Before Spencer could respond, another little text bubble appeared on his screen.

(L/N) (The Nuisance): the book, not the movie

(L/N) (The Nuisance): actually, it’s kind of both? Nvm, just lmk if you see it

Spencer sighed, picked up his bag, and headed off to your shared office. He knew the paper you were talking about. It was the odd man out amongst papers about the criminalization of sex workers and the morals (or lack thereof) behind the war on drugs. In other words, it wasn’t something you or Reid would have assigned for a college class. It belonged to one of your GED students- so, when Spencer saw the paper sitting on the desk the previous Friday, he figured he’d leave it. You’d grab it, and you’d take it home, and that would be the end of it.

Now, Spencer was on a mission to get that paper back to you.

He was also on a mission to figure out what the fuck you were talking about.

A short ways away, at the community center, your phone buzzed.

Annoying Motherfucker: I know which paper you’re talking about. Would you like me to bring it over?

You had just enough time to fire off a, “Yes, please, thank,” before you turned back to the student whose paper you had so rudely lost.

“Okay, the paper is in my office, my coworker is bringing it over now.”

The student in front of you- a tall young man, Adam- remained silent. He only responded when you said his name.

“Tell ‘em to leave it.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I think this is a sign. The universe is telling me I’m not cut out for this. I’m not-” he cut himself off, turning away from you in shame.

“Hey, hey, look at me. You are cut out for this. Your paper was fantastic, I just-”

“You’re telling me my paper was so fantastic that you forgot it at your day job? That’s bullshit. Just be honest with me, Doctor. It wasn’t a good paper.”

“No- Adam, please, it was a fantastic paper. I left it in my office, yes, but that’s all on me. I’ll be honest, I might be a professor, but I’m kind of stupid-”

“If you’re kind of stupid, then what hope do I have? What am I supposed to do?”

You let out a small, sad breath, “You have all the hope in the world. You just have to keep trying.”

“Is that what you did? You tried?”

“I tried, yes. And I’ll be honest, I got lucky. I got scholarships and awards, but I had to try for them. You can do the same. You have potential. You have promise. You can-”

“Don’t tell me I can do anything I set my mind to. My parole officer told me that two days before my last arrest. It’s bullshit. It’s all bullshit. And you don’t know-”

“You’re right,” you sighed, leaning back against your desk, “I don’t know. I’ll never know your life, what it’s like to be you. But I know that you can accomplish great things. You’re smart, Adam. You have a great mind, you just-”

“My great mind told me to drive through the front door today.”

You froze. Adam continued.

“My great mind tells me to do awful, awful things. I spend half of my time fighting off those thoughts. What good am I, what can I accomplish if I have those bad fucking thoughts all the goddamned time?”

“Hey, hey,” you tried to soothe the man in front of you as he got louder and angrier- not at you, but at himself.

“And it’s not like I can say I know I won’t act on them. I have acted on them. That’s why I’m here, with you, in a community center getting my fucking GED. That’s why I was in prison, that’s why I’ll never be good at anything but being what I am now.”

You were already frozen, but somehow, you managed to freeze again- not because of Adam’s words, but because you could see Spencer’s face in the doorway.

You stood up straighter, instantly on edge. You weren’t sure how much of the conversation he had heard. You didn’t know if he would find something incriminating in Adam’s intrusive thoughts. You put yourself between the two.

“Hi, Reid. Do you have the paper?”

“I do. And I have to say, I’ve never seen Fight Club, but this is a fantastic analysis. Whoever wrote it clearly has a mind for the literary arts- and for the art of film.”

Your eyes widened slightly- of course, you knew that it was a fantastic analysis. You had complimented Adam on his work minutes before. You just weren’t sure what Spencer was about to do.

“If I may,” he stepped to your side so he could speak to Adam directly, “I kind of know what it’s like- to have bad thoughts that you can’t control.”

“Are you shitting me?” Adam asked, though his question was quiet. It was almost as if he was speaking to himself, asking who the fuck this spindly nerd was and why the fuck this spindly nerd was talking to him.

Honestly? You had similar questions.

Disregarding both of you, Spencer continued.

“The important thing to acknowledge is that there are no such things as good or bad thoughts. There are only good and bad actions. I can’t tell you that what you’ve done doesn’t matter. It does. But what matters more is what you’re going to do about it- what matters more is trying to be better. And this? Getting your diploma? That matters. That’s good.”

Spencer handed the paper over to Adam, “Hey, once you get your GED, let me know, okay? Dr. (L/N) will tell you where you can find me. I know a few people who could use literary analysis like yours.”

Before Adam could respond, Spencer had turned and started for the door. Before he left, he spared you a wave. You were too shocked to wave back.

Spencer left silence behind. You and Adam stood in the thick of it for a few moments. In those moments, a blush began to burn beneath the skin of your cheeks. Your heart jumped in your chest, playing a beat that was a little too fast. Surely, this meant nothing.

In those moments, Adam looked down at the paper in his hands. He read the little comments you had left in green pen.

After a few minutes, he looked up. He didn’t turn to face you just yet, but that didn’t stop you from seeing the grin lighting up his entire face.

“Shit, man. You really did like my analysis, huh?”

“I told you. I loved it.”

“Yeah, well,” Adam’s gaze returned to the pages in his hands. He flipped through for a second before barking out a laugh, “You spelled ‘artful’ wrong. You added an extra ‘L.’”

“Did I?” You asked, closing the space between you to peek at your own error, “Shit. Well, like I said, I’m kinda stupid. I’m pretty much a fraud. That guy, though? The skinny guy with the facts? He worked to get to where he is. He tried. We just have to do the same thing, and hopefully, things will get better.”

“Maybe. It’s, uh. I guess I have no choice but to try, huh?”

“I guess not,” you shrugged and smiled at Adam before stepping back towards your desk.

Adam fell silent, looking between you and the empty doorway for a good minute before he spoke again, “So, that was your coworker?”

“Mhmm. Yep, that’s the guy.”

“Dr. Reid, right?”

You raised an eyebrow, “Yeah, actually. You’ve heard of him somewhere?”

“From Missy, actually… Fuck, I think I owe her a fifty now. Shit.”

If you had been drinking something at that moment, you would’ve choked on it.

“Anyway, thanks Doc! I’ll see ya next week!”

Adam trotted out the door, all grins, not noticing how strangled your, “See you next week!” sounded.

Later that night, in the confines of your cozy and un-haunted apartment, you sent a text. Somewhere else, in his cozy and un-haunted apartment, Spencer’s phone buzzed.

(L/N) (The Nuisance): thank you, Spencer

(L/N) (The Nuisance): seriously. i owe you one

Annoying Motherfucker: Don’t mention it. I kind of understand where Adam was coming from, it wasn’t hard for me to say something nice.

You huffed.

(L/N) (The Nuisance): you have a hard time being nice to me!!

(L/N) (The Nuisance): usually

(L/N) (The Nuisance): today was an exception… but srsly, i owe you a favour

Annoying Motherfucker: And I am telling you, you are “srsly” fine.

You smiled down at your phone for a second before you turned off the screen and placed it down beside you.

And almost immediately, that fucker went BZZZZZZZZT.

Annoying Motherfucker: Actually, quick question- what does “nvm” mean? Also, what does “lmk” mean?

You couldn’t hold back your laugh.

(L/N) (The Nuisance): you seriously don’t know??? you knew what srsly meant, are you telling me you don’t know lmk???

Annoying Motherfucker: …

Annoying Motherfucker: *Thanks. You said “thank” earlier and it was bothering me.

(L/N) (The Nuisance): omg

Annoying Motherfucker: Hey! I know that one!

You let out a wheeze.

(L/N) (The Nuisance): you’re fucking adorable

(L/N) (The Nuisance): ok pretty boy, let me explain internet acronyms

Spencer wouldn’t tell you that he vaguely knew what “nvm” and “lmk” meant. He’d worked with Penelope Garcia for several years, he had to know. He just let you talk to him, texting away into the night.

Somewhere else in town, Adam handed Missy fifty dollars- and she promptly handed half of it to Frank. Frank then split the money with the woman sitting next to him, and so on and so forth until it was well and truly established that everyone in the place 1) knew about the infamous professors and their rivalry, and 2) wanted those professors to stop fighting and fuck already.

♥ Tags: @icarusignite, @usuallyunlikelyfox, @maraudersforlife2005, @fictionalcomforts, @morgthemagpie, @iiheartbowie, @digitalhearts, @corpsebridenightamare, @ghostatrixx, @reiding-writing, @mywellspringoflife, @80katie, @ms-ks-world, @currentfications, @ilse235, @emagen, @foolishwaitersblog, @pleasantwitchgarden if you asked to be tagged and i forgot, pls let me know!! if you would like to be tagged and aren't, also let me know :D

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #x reader #nightmare academia

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sailor-aviator · 6 months

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PSA

Hey, really quick...

Please stop asking me when I'm updating things. I know you guys are excited, and I'm really glad that you guys love these stories so much! But, I also have a life outside of this website (believe it or not). I'm starting a new job on Monday, and then I work my retail job on the weekends. That means I'm literally working seven days a week right now. I won't have a day off until Thanksgiving (Nov 24 for my non-American followers) and then I go right back to working.

I love writing, I do, but when I get asked when something is going to be updated, it makes me not want to touch that story for even longer. Yay executive dysfunction!! Anyway, every time one of you asks me when I'm updating a fic, it's going to take that much longer for me to update it.

Also, this is in no way related to the messages asking me WHY I'm not updating something or WHY something is on pause. This is directed at the people sending me direct messages saying "When are you updating x?" or "You haven't updated x in a while" or "Your timelines are falling behind. You might want to fix that."

Like, I'm fully aware that two of my stories are getting more attention right now. That's because I'm more inspired to write for them at the moment. And when they're done, it'll probably be your story next! Please just let me write in peace because I'm stressed out about life enough as it is, and I don't want to start hating what I love doing so much.

Anyway, I hope this didn't come off as mean or anything. I just wanted y'all to be aware of some things.

#dhtn #don't hang'em til noon #hbam #hanging by a moment #atg #all that glitters #otd #outrun the devil #sits #singing in the sanctuary #fool's fare #ff #mmats #meet me at the sea

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thebroccolination · 3 months

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Working in an indie bookshop has been a dream. Granted, it's only my first month, but man. :')

By nature of the shop, every shift is different. Tourists, regulars. Some are chatty, some are quiet. New books are always arriving. Events, book club. Seeing what people want to order, getting requests for recommendations.

The customers have all been absolutely lovely and deeply patient with me whenever I have an "I'm new, sorry, one second," moment.

And like, today, a girl came in for a book she had on reserve. I started to ring her up and she said, "Oh, sorry, I paid already," and I had a frozen moment because I realized I had no idea how to check on that in the software. So I made a judgment call based on Vibes and said, "You're good, then!" and handed her the book. She said, "Are you sure?" and showed me her bank app opening on her phone, but I smiled and waved her off. After she left, I rang up another customer, waved goodbye, glanced at the other customers browsing, and then she reappeared and told me, "I'm sorry, it'll stay with me all day if I don't–" and she showed me the transaction on her banking app. We both smiled, and as she headed off again (making sure to close the old door correctly behind her), I watched her go and thought, That's a lovely human being, and I hope she loves her book. (Percy Jackson.)

A pregnant woman came in looking for gifts for the children of a friend she was on her way to see, and she was so bubbly and excited about her own baby, she left me smiling for a good ten minutes after she left.

A man bought four books and his card didn't go through, but I was so busy chatting and laughing I almost missed it. I had to re-scan his books and redo the whole transaction, and he was so understanding and patient, we exchanged two more stories after his receipt came through, and both of us were laughing by the end.

A family of four came in, and one of the girls asked for a horror comic. I couldn't find one, so her father helped her pick something else. After they left, I ordered two middle-grade horror comic books so they'll be there for her next time.

Like, I actually rest on my days off now because I'm not dreading going back. I can't overstate how wild that feels. I have the next two days off, but I'm genuinely looking forward to being back there! When I worked Monday-Friday in an office, I did not have that experience. I got into the bedtime procrastination thing of staying up until 2am on my phone because after the commute to the office, work, and the commute home, I had so little time to myself. I was drained and anxious.

I don't take anything home now. No stress, no reports, no projects. I come home, I get head-bunts from my fuzzy roommates, and I unwind.

Small Talk About Books and Sometimes Also People's Small Dogs: The Job really has been a dream. Today I talked to thirty-six people about books, and in between customers, I read "Welcome to the Hyunam-Dong Bookshop" by Hwang Bo-reum while snacking on rice krispie squares I made and listening to a soft piano Ghibli playlist I put on.

The only downside is the pay, but c'est la retail work.

In conclusion, indie bookshops are very yay, and I'm incredibly grateful to have a job in one. <3

#books #booksbooksbooks

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swimmingtrunks · 9 months

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Welp, finally left my retail day job for something with more hours but also more pay and hopefully less stress. Yay!

Took a week off between things and filled it with an impromptu camping trip. Yay!

Started my new job on Monday, with a bit of a headcold but excited to get into it....

Woke up Tues to a text from a friend I drove with on the trip saying she tested positive for COVID.

Yup, that's right. Three and a half years working in a public facing job during a pandemic and I finally catch the damn thing THE FIRST WEEK OF A NEW JOB.

0/10 would not recommend.

#st101 #the timing is just....#this also means im between insurance right now too!#anyway just living horizontal on my couch for now rewatching Good Omens again and again and again #with the occasional hop over to critical role campaign 2 for aome variety

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swearphil · 10 months

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hi renee, do you still read schitts creek fanfic? do you have any recs? :)

anon, I love the timing of getting this ask on monday and then ao3 was down and I thought it would be awhile until I could effectively answer this ask but ao3 is back! yay!!! and then it took me three days to answer this because I couldn't make decisions!

yes, I still read schitt's creek fanfic! when I started compiling a list for this ask, I was going to do 10 fics but I've decided to rec 20: 10 multi-chapter fics and 10 one shots/single chapter fics. this way I get to include more fics and hopefully you find something you'd like to read! I also recommend checking out my sc fic recs tag and I also have this my recs tag where I made recs for the @farm-witches-fic-recs this or that challenge! I also recommend the witches' posts for more recs!

here are 20 fics from 20 authors but please know there are so many incredible authors in this fandom and I love them all and I hate that I can't include all of them!!!

Multi-Chapter Fics

On the Outside Looking Through by @smblmn

A pride & prejudice AU

Red White and Blue Jays by @grapehyasynth

Red White and Royal Blue AU. David Rose, First Son of the United States, hates Patrick Brewer, First Son of Canada. That gets him into some trouble - and then a lot of trouble. (I mean we're about to get the movie sooooooooo)

my heart was broke, my head was sore by @blueink3

The morning after Grad Night goes somewhat differently when Patrick gets a call from home.

Crossing Out the Good Years by @nontoxic-writes

One thing, David didn’t do one thing, and moved them to New York and let their marriage fall apart. But that wasn't supposed to happen. So Fate intervenes. aka the divorce-ish fic

The Rosebud Diamond by @vivianblakesunrisebay

Patrick is a detective. David is his mysterious client. There’s a priceless diamond, a masquerade ball, murder, thievery, blackmail, secrets, betrayal, gangsters, smoking, whiskey, and angst galore. (And a happy ending.) It’s a film noir AU.

you never shined so brightly by @rosedavid

A La La Land AU in which Patrick is the aspiring actor and David is the struggling musician.

Home at Last by @januarium

When Stevie Budd took on the role of Sally Bowles she could never have known how much she would gain from it. From the prompt: An alternate universe where Ted does not choose Alexis at the end of Season Four and Stevie and Alexis get close during Cabaret rehearsals

You Happened by @lilythesilly

David Rose is many things: talented, creative, fashion-forward, well read—the list can go on, but at the very top of that list is Extremely Rich. So he doesn’t understand why his father is making him work at Rose Video—or why Patrick Brewer, a boy he's had virtually no interaction with since they were twelve, is suddenly always around. An enemies-to-coworkers-to-friends-to-lovers high school au.

Pull The Shot. Steam The Milk. Repeat. by @treluna4

Right at the beginning of David’s junior year of college, his dad’s business partner literally took the money and ran, and the Roses were left with nothing...He moved in with his friend Stevie and got a job at the Schitt Family Coffee Roasters south campus location. David was less than thrilled by this job prospect, but no one else was hiring and rent was a thing now, so he gathered what little self-respect he had left and prepared to meet his new manager, Patrick. But as it turned out, David had met him once before. Under very, very different circumstances. Or; the hookup-to-friends-to-lovers college coffee shop AU that no one asked for.

How Easy It Could Be by @maxbegone

A story about sweet caffeine, starting new, and falling in love slowly.

Single Chapter Fics

life ain't passing you by by @dinnfameron

Stevie has breakfast at the cottage before a business trip. David and Patrick have some thoughts regarding her feelings for her new coworker.

like glass from sandy ground by @middyblue

Five times Alexis ran from grief, and one time she didn't.

Pretty Follies by @treepyful

Alexis and Twyla team up to play matchmaker for Stevie and Ruth. Unfortunately, the course of true love never did run smooth.

I INDEX/MATCH You by @sarahlevys

Ruth maintains a lot of spreadsheets. Some of them feature Stevie.

are there still beautiful things? by @mymariahcarey

“Look what I got Stevie!” Twyla calls as she runs through the waist-high grass towards the line of trees where Stevie’s waiting for her. By the time Twyla reaches her, her cheeks pink and her breath labored, her french braids are coming undone and there’s a twig stuck in one of them. Or, Stevie and Twyla were childhood best friends.

falling into place like dominos by @petalwritesx

David and Patrick hold a second housewarming party, this time at their newly-renovated cottage. For old times' sake, they decide to play spin the bottle. Meanwhile, Stevie has been wrestling with her feelings for Alexis since she left for New York... and it never occurred to her that those feelings could flow both ways.

you light me up like starlight by @stereopticons

Patrick and his indie band head back to their hometown to perform for the annual holiday charity concert, and David tags along, even though they are still keeping their relationship a secret.

Live By Love Though The Stars Walk Backwards by @chelle-68

Stevie returns from a work trip to discover an exhausted Patrick who has trouble sleeping without David, who has been in LA visiting his family. Stevie's offer to spend the night to keep Patrick company, hoping it will help him sleep, turns into a night of heartfelt conversation about love, friendship, fate, and taking chances.

One Single Thread of Gold by @swiftlythebest

Patrick has a baseball viewing party, and David has a lot of feelings.

as we dream by the fire by @blackandwhiteandrose

The fire is just the right amount of warm -- enough to keep David toasty but not sweaty -- so he can enjoy lying against his husband’s chest, happy and content in his embrace. Patrick brings a hand up, slipping his fingers through David’s hair. “This is a great way to spend an evening,” he says, his voice soft. “We should do this more often.”

#asks #anon #my recs #i hope this helps anon!#please let me know if any links are incorrect #and if I forgot or tagged anyone incorrectly!

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anonymouspuzzler · 1 year

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Yay Yipee I Finally Remembered I Should Update Folks On Things That Are Happening

because hey whoops as some of you might remember Supposedly I Stream Sometimes! That Uhhhh Hasn't Happened In A While Has It! so I should probably let folks know what's goin' on!! the long and the short of it is

Around late November/early December I started having issues where Discord would crash and restart anytime I tried to screenshare my capture software with my friends who I stream with. This put console game streams (so 2/3 of the games we were streaming) on the backburner till I could troubleshoot and solve that issue

On top of that it was Fucking Finals Season for me at my Graduate School so at a certain point I had to be responsible and focus on getting my final projects & essays done, which meant sacrificing stream time till my break (where I would hopefully have time to troubleshoot and then do a ton of streaming to make up for lost time)

Except THEN literally the second I went home for the holidays my hard drive abruptly and completely died. It is very possible that this contributed to the aforementioned tech issues

I was able to replace the drive and get my computer working again but because I have a Fucking Curse a lot of tech-side things were lost or started experiencing issues due to the new drive, namely A) I haven't been able to get my capture software working yet and B) whoops my entire OBS layout is just gone now I guess

This whole saga, on top of juggling other life shit and work and the like, effectively ate up my entire winter break

so tl;dr! I have a computer curse and because of it streams are gonna have to wait till I can get both OBS and my capture software working again. I'm hoping to work on that this weekend so I can be back to streaming next week, but given my school & job workload I'm guessing it'll more likely be two or three weeks. On top of that, I won't be streaming most of March due to reason of "my partner is visiting then". all of this sucks cause I want to be streaming, both for reason of "i like spending time with my good friends doing this" and "haha whoops I'm not earning money now and oh boy there sure are a lot of expenses flying at my head like rocks huh".

I've already rambled a bit more than I'd like to now so here's da main points:

Streams will (HOPEFULLY) be back in February. When they are, they'll be Monday & Tuesday nights, 5:30pst/8:30est, for as long as my friends remain available at those times (we're all adults having to look for or maintain Day Jobs so availability could change. y'all know how it is). I may also do occasional one-off streams on weekends as my energy 'n schedule permits, most likely art streams

I'll continue to be around on Holly's streams Fri/Sat/Sun as her schedule permits, because I don't have to rebuild OBS from the ground up for that

There is a 99.99% chance I'll be totally absent stream-wise during March

Even though streams are facing The Troubles I am still taking art commissions! Those haven't been affected!! You can submit an interest form here and I'll reach out to confirm prices as soon as I'm ready to start work on yours

If, out of the kindness of your heart, you would like to toss some support my way during The Troubles (which would be much appreciated; as said I've got a lot of expenses coming my way and unfortunately my day job covers my rent and nothing more), here are some other ways you can do so: -- Tip me on Ko-Fi; if you pay $9 or more you can request a doodle that I'll do for you and post on here & twitter (and might stream the process of drawing once that's up and running again). Here's an example of some Ko-Fi doodles I did previously -- You can also tip through my stream page if you want but I probably won't see those till I start streaming again. Still appreciated!!! -- I have a Throne Wishlist that's mostly stuff like kitchenware, household goods, stuff for my kitty, etc. There's also a few Fun Things though, like vinyls and a billy big bass Jay insisted I add. Either way, if you wanna contribute to something on there it means a lot. You can also suggest items to make me laugh

an' above all: thank you for reading and for bein' around!!

#long post /#anonymous puzzler talks #sorry for the big ramble!! i just figured it was worth putting everything out there #you mighta heard bits and pieces of this on friends' streams slash twitter slash wherever #but i figured it was worth puttin' in one place #anyway if you read this far: i hope you're having a good day and if you're not i hope a good day comes your way!!!!!#edit: i forgot the link to the doodles!! silly me!!! that is in there now

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dragoon811 · 2 months

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I have had a shitty week. Can someone manifest me some good vibes?

Sunday started nice. Monday was a holiday (Family Day) so I got some extra weekend. I was looking forward to it - then Elder Child crawled into my bed just past midnight with a fever.

Monday she stopped eating after lunch (two bites of banana), but was drinking water.

Stayed home Tuesday to help her combat the fever. Wednesday morning she had no fever so my daycare lady was able to take her and I went to work. She kept me updated etc all day.

My gut didn’t like how much she was sleeping so after work I decided to take Elder Child to the children’s hospital. Convinced my husband to pack me a bag, thinking they’d throw Tylenol at us and we’d sit in the waiting room for 8 hours to be told it’s an ear infection/sinus infection…. But I got home to her and her fever returned. (And my period started. JOY.)

Loaded her into the stroller, threw myself in, and off we went! Waited in line at triage.

Triage called us, we weighed her, we talked. And I said I was concerned because she hadn’t eaten, the fever was back, my sister was diabetic and I was starting to worry because when she was sleeping I couldn’t rouse her easily, and her breath smelled and basically asked them to check her blood sugar.

So they did. (This was NOT an enjoyable experience for Elder Child.) it was at 2 - new to how Canadians measure shit, I’m really glad the little screen added in red: “CRITICAL LOW”.

The nurse made a phone call and stressed, surprised, that Elder Child was alert.

Upon the second attempt at a reading because it was low, Elder Child was more prepared. She kicked, she fought, she puked all over herself, and bolted for the emerge doors.

Ok. Skip a second test. (Note: I did not pack spare clothes.)

We were taken right back to a room in the emergency wing. Unsettling.

Then a flurry of people - a lady trying to help Elder Child adjust and calm down. Nurses. Doctors asking questions. (Another note - I have not slept well in 2 weeks, am hearing impaired, and now overwhelmed and scared. Not a good combo.)

Gave Elder Child a nasal spray to calm her (this resulted in another bolting for freedom, also thwarted), another blood check….and once the spray started to work, we tried to prep her for an IV/blood draw.

This was ALSO strongly disliked. More holding her down. I did a lot of crying.

We went through the symptoms - tummy hurting, drinking some water but hadn’t peed in like 6-7 hours, fever, sleeping constantly, not eating. Ended up doing ultrasound, X-ray. Ten bottles of blood (and she FREAKED). Finally got her to pee. Yes, she peed on me.

Refused food. Refused popsicles. Refused juice. Started IV - first sugar bolus. Then hydration. We named the IV robot Frank. Elder Child, loopy from the spray, patted it and told it it was doing a good job. Also, during our walk to ultrasound, said she was Frank’s pet puppy and he was taking her for a walk, see her leash? 😅

Spent the night. (Another note: my daycare kept her sister until bedtime. And we arranged to take her as soon as she woke up because we cannot trust my husband with her care.) Lots more holding her down and blood checks.

Also please note: Elder Dragoon wails and screams when distressed. She was very distressed. I felt really sorry for the staff because I couldn’t calm her.

In the morning she managed to eat a bit! Yay! Tried to disconnect the iv - sugar went down. Hooked her back up. Spent the day trying to get her to drink 100ml of apple juice.

Ended up discharged at almost 4pm - diagnosis: fever, causing hypoglycemia. Apparently kids don’t have as much stores as adults and the fever was burning through what she DID have.

So I spent today waking her every 4 hours and getting her to eat or drink. It took her an hour to drink half a juice box. But by dinner today she was improved and actually had food. And accepted popsicles.

Still have to get her eating or drinking again in about 20min. Then set the timer back.

I just want a full REM cycle of sleep. I am SO fucking tired.

#shut up dragoon811 #baby dragoon the elder #tw hospitals #tw blood #tw sick kid

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andrewlloydwebber · 10 months

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i got a new job!

instead of taking the train for 40 minutes (plus walking to the station/waiting/walking to work, so really i had to leave an hour before my shift started) i will only be a 10 minute walk from my apartment, no train or bus required.

instead of working 11-7:30 pm most days (which left me no time in the morning to do anything and by the time i was home at 8:30 most nights, i was exhausted) and having to work every saturday, i have a set schedule of 8 am to 4 pm, monday to friday. no more weekends!

i get to sit down at this job! and free lunch! and same pay basically but i don't have to manage a bunch of apathetic college students! and hopefully better work life balance and less worries when i'm not at work. and more free time to be with friends, work on my hobbies, and just relax. and i believe this job will give me a better quality of life and more relevant experience for my future career!

yay!

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tarithenurse · 2 months

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A little update on my personal situation:

It's going better. Since mid August I've been in a dip which first started out with my usual depression symptoms but then the anxiety flared up too with a lot of selfdoubt and negative thoughts etc etc.

Why?

Oh, I know exactly what the trigger was: hubby got a new job (yay) that has him working in the other side of the country so I only see him weekends (boo). It's an amazing job for him with lovely colleagues, challenges, learning, etc (yay). But it means I'm alone from Monday to late Thursday (boo)...and I do not do alone well. Oh and then there are the weeks where he's off to other countries without coming home in the weekend.

The obvious answer would be to focus on my own work, pick some extra shifts or maybe go be social with people.

That's where the anxiety kicks in: stimuli (noises in particular) and people (apart from a very select few) has me breaking down. I can't work more than 30 hours a week and the day shifts I used to have are hell on earth where I either have to go home early or lock myself up somewhere.

Thankfully I have a good boss. She's helped me change my day shifts to night shifts where it's a lot calmer and quieter and I don't get triggered.

I've also gotten a sort of "special rule" from the public healthcare that means if I call in sick with my chronic illness (depression/anxiety) at least my workplace will be compensated somewhat from the first day sick instead of after two weeks - that means the anxiety about being away from work is less for me because it feels like I'm screwing over my job less.

And so I've spent the time with night shifts, finding a way to keep my marriage working with intermittend long distance, intensified my psychologist appointments and worked (am working) with my new psychiatrist to change and balance my medication.

What has that all led to?

My symptoms of depression are under control. My marriage works (although I miss him often and there always is the fear that he'll find someone better and closer than me (history of cheating by ex)).

But my anxiety is fucked up. It's better...but far from good enough. I can't handle public transportation. I can't handle parts of my family. I can't handle the few dayshifts I do have even if I'm not part of patient care but rather just go around filling up closets etc.

I've had my depression since 2005. The anxiety is fairly new (just a few years) and it's had a tendency to get more severe with each dip. And I don't know how to handle it - at this rate it'll put me out of work in a few years and that thought alone just makes it even worse because I can't have that happen. I don't WANT that to happen.

Okay....I have to stop thinking about that.

My new psychiatrist is good. He listens. I have amazing support from my husband who goes out of his way to call and write when he's gone. I have similarly great support from my mom and one of my sisters, particularly when I'm alone.

........and still it feels so hopeless. The only activity that brings me joy is D&D-related things. I can't write fanfics anymore. I can't draw. I can't go outside my door. I can't go for a cup of tea or dinner with friends. I can't even do grocery shopping. I just get so desperate, y'know?

But...it is BETTER than it was.

#mental health #depression #anxiety #social anxiety #blerb #personal #mental disorder #mental disability #rant #update #medication #send help

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spiderversegf · 7 months

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small (maybe, big??) joys Saturday!! I just received news that I got accepted at my new job and will start working this Monday. also, finally met my best friends and hung out for a bit bcs we hadn't seen each other in like 3 months. <333

YAY!!! congrats on the new job, i hope the transition to the new position goes smoothly!!!

#small joys saturday

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zenaidamacrouras1 · 1 year

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Backhoe Bonus Drabble

This is a random summer scene that doesn't fit into any of my Backhoe chapters. I'll have a series of these that I'll probably add on as a separate work in the Backhoe series after the whole fic is finished, but have a tumblr drabble for now. This takes place during the time jump between chapters 19 and 20. I don't think it's majorly spoilery, and I don't think you need to read the fic to get it. If you like to read a fic pure with no surprises whatsoever, maybe read the fic first.

Chapters 1-20 are here, chapters 21 and 22 are mostly ready and will post this week and next, probably going to be like 25 chapters total please stop laughing at me I'm trying to end this damn thing. (initial chapter count was like 5) (go ahead and laugh) (but also feel free to encourage me, I think I'm finally out of my writer's block, yay!)

Late July:

Ever since Bucky became manager for his crew, he’s tried to make sure they don’t have unexpected afternoons off. On the one hand, sure, there’s nothing better than finishing a job early and peacing the fuck off to head home. On the other, well, you don’t get paid for hours you don’t work. So, he tries to make it so everyone’s getting paid, is all.

But sometimes, the timing just doesn’t work out like that. Right now, it’s 1 pm on a Friday, and they’ve wrapped up this gig, and it don’t make sense to start on the next job till Monday morning, so everyone heads home. Bucky promises some long days next week to make up for it on that paycheck. So it’s backslaps and a few dirty jokes while they all pack up, and then Bucky’s in his truck driving the winding roads back home.

Steve’s gonna be there, he thinks, with a grin he’s glad no one can see. Steve’s just come back last night from helping out with some action out in San Francisco. Greenpeace paid him to fly out there and do trainings on art shit and paint some big-ass banners.

Bucky’d like to burst with pride when he saw those damn banners hanging from a god damn skyscraper, protesting globalization. Steve was on strict orders from Greenpeace and one J.B. Barnes not to get arrested himself; he just painted the banners. Bucky had shown the pictures to Peter, cause Peter was the only guy at work he’s out with on both the politics stuff and on the gay stuff. Peter’s genuine “Holy shit, man” was worth all the teasing that followed about how fucking lovesick Bucky is about his sexy little anarchist boyfriend.

But also, he had missed Steve, fuck it all but he did, and dammit the guy was only gone five days. It doesn’t bode well for when Steve goes back to college next month, but Bucky’s never been one to worry about a debt before it comes due. That just means suffering twice.

Bucky listens to the truck for any errant noises as he drives. He'd thought he heard a knock this morning, but apparently whatever it was has worked itself out for now. He switches on the stereo.

Bucky tries one of the playlists Steve loves listening to, featuring Against Me! and a bunch of other political punk bands. Bucky doesn’t hate it, he doesn’t, but fuck, it’s a pretty summer’s day and the sunlight’s filtering through the leaves and everything green is just so happy to be alive and growing in the mountains right now. That music is so damn strident, sometimes a man just wants to enjoy some peace in this world and forget about all the problems. After half a song, Bucky switches to some bluegrass. He and Steve don’t have to like the same music, he figures.

Becca Jane, never shy with her opinion, has declared that Steve’s music of choice sounded "like you stuck a bull in a barrel with an electric guitar and shoved it down a flight of stairs." About three days into listening to the punk music coming out of Steve’s studio in the laundry room, she’d come home from her MCAT prep course and handed Steve a pair of brand-new bluetooth headphones and an ultimatum.

So the Barnes kids like country music and their houseguest, who happens to be Bucky's boyfriend, likes punk. Steve switched to headphones and there really haven’t been any other major conflicts with him living there. It’s kind of a miracle, Bucky thinks, as he turns onto Brushy Fork Holler Road. Jean’s out in her front yard gardening, and he raises two fingers up off the wheel to say hi, slowing in case she’s got something to say, but she just waves and looks back down to her precious rose bushes. Sometimes Bucky thinks she spends more time fussing over her flowers than Bucky does raising five kids, but to each their own. Looks pretty, anyway.

Then it's just another minute until he hears the crunch of gravel under his truck tires and he's looking at the house he's lived in his whole life.

The house is quiet when he climbs out of the truck in the driveway. No one’s expecting him, so that ain’t a surprise. The girls are probably down at the swimming hole or playing video games at Maria and Monica’s. He kicks off his boots on the front porch and goes prowling through the house. He grins when he hears Steve singing from the laundry room.

Steve’s singing is—well, the thing is, if Steve was good at everything, that just wouldn’t be fair, now would it? Steve’s a great strategist on this pipeline shit; he’s been such a help to Bucky on his quest to stop the fucking thing. He has a great head for the lawyer stuff and the activist strategy side of it. He’s learning how to cook and getting real good at it. He’s obviously a gifted artist, as everyone knows, and he’s fucking nice as hell too. The girls love him, and they are a tough audience.

And, well, he has other skills Bucky ain’t shouting to the world about, that’s private, but Bucky sure ain’t got nothing to complain about. When it comes to the bedroom, Steve’s a god damn prodigy, Bucky thinks with a shiver of pleasure down his spine. Steven Brooklyn Grant God Damn Rogers.

So it just makes sense that Steve would have a few faults, and that's the most charitable thing Bucky can say about Steve’s singing. Steve couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket—hell, he couldn’t carry a tune in a semi-truck full of buckets. He’d flip that semi right over, highway’d be backed up and on fire from here to Timbuktu.

Which is why Bucky’s at the door of the laundry room before he can piece together what song Steve’s torturing to within an inch of its life. It’s the fucking Dixie Chicks. Or just the Chicks now, whatever. Steve is obediently wearing the headphones Becca told him to wear at the risk of death if she had to hear “that atonal screeching you call music one more fucking time" and so he has no idea how loud he’s “singing”—honestly, it ain’t anything Bucky’d categorize as singing, but there are words and they are carrying through the door.

I wanna walk and not runI wanna skip and not fallI wanna look at the horizon and not see a building standing tallI wanna be the only one for miles and milesExcept for maybe you and your simple smile

Bucky feels a slow sly smile stretch across his face and pulls the door open. Steve’s singing a country music love song. Steve's facing away from him, wearing just a pair of boxer briefs and a loose black t-shirt. Bucky sees Steve's pants are in the sink; he must have gotten paint on them and taken them off to soak.

Steve's got one hand wide to the side like he's balancing on a tightrope and the other is painting some kind of white accent on a flower. He makes it look so easy, light movements bringing life wherever Steve touches.

Cowboy taaaaake me awaaaaayyy

Steve caterwauls to his flowers, and Bucky can't take the suspense anymore. He waits until the paintbrush is a safe distance from the canvas, then slips his arms around Steve's slender waist and lowers his lips to Steve's neck. Steve jumps with a little shout and whirls around, dropping his paintbrush. He jerks his earbuds out.

"You're early!" Steve gasps. He's blushing something fierce.

"Who's this cowboy you're singing about running away with, and should I be jealous?" Bucky whispers into Steve's smooth, pretty neck. He gives a small kiss. "Don't tell me I gotta fight a cowboy for your honor. I ain't much with a six-shooter, and I am kindly scared of horses."

"You're scared of horses?" Steve asks incredulously, always looking for something to direct the conversation away from his own feelings.

"Maybe they're scared of me? Me and horses never had much opportunity to get to know each other, makes more sense to be scared of horses than chickens," Bucky says, and offers a few more kisses to Steve's neck.

"Horses are majestic and chickens are evil,” Steve says darkly, and sighs, leaning into Bucky’s lips on his neck. “Hmm. Well, my cowboy is very handsome, you should definitely be jealous."

"Maybe I'll steal him away. I got lots of beans. Cowboys cain't resist a good bean."

"Well, my cowboy is good-looking but a bit slim in the brains department, so he might like you, actually."

Bucky huffs a laugh into Steve's neck, and drops a few more kisses, running his mouth softly up and down Steve's neck. Steve suddenly busts out a loud laugh, which is not the reaction Bucky was going for. He'd been expecting more of Steve's little sighs.

"What?" Bucky says in frustration, when Steve's still laughing.

"Buh—" Steve can't hardly breathe for laughing.

"Spit out whatever fool insult you've done come up with, then," Bucky says, a smile quirking up despite himself. Steve looks so fucking pleased, the jerk.

"Buckaroo!" Steve manages to burst out with a wicked grin.

"Oh, hell no," Bucky says. "Nope. Absolutely not. I ain't a fucking cowboy." Steve's still laughing at him.

"That right, Buckarooooo?" he taunts.

"I'm a hillbilly. It's different," Bucky says with a mock threat in his voice.

"Okay, okay, so what do you have that my imaginary cowboy doesn't?" Steve smirks at him. Everything is a challenge with this guy.

"Hmm, it's more of a show-don't-tell kinda thing," Bucky murmurs, moving back into Steve's space. "See, cowboys are all talk."

"So what are hillbillies?" Steve says, suddenly breathy, Bucky notes with satisfaction.

"Action, Stevie, we're about action."

It ain't but a second till Bucky's pulled out that sweet little sigh he wanted from Steve, and a whole symphony of pretty sounds after that.

#stucky au #stucky fanfic #Appalachian Bucky Barnes #Artist Steve Rogers #Drabble #Idiots in Love #sweet sappy lusting

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idk-i-just-really-like-tsc · 1 year

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Happy New Year ✨✨✨

It’s almost 2023, so let’s celebrate the good things that happened to us in 2022! List ten amazing things that happened to you this year and then send this to ten people who brighten your day!

thank you for the ask this is such a lovely idea and way to show gratitude!

1. I got closer with my friends and made new ones!! Both people here on tumblr and my real friends at college and I’m very thankful for that <3

2. I got to travel a lot and see new places! Traveling is one of my favorite hobby and I was so glad to see so much of the world this year. (tsc related i got to see rome <3 for malec)

3. despite struggling with my mental health i took a LOT of classes and kinda kicked ass in (some of) them yay education

4. I learned more about myself, my values and what I want from my life and I’m excited about that!

5. This is so dumb but watching my tv shows!!! I started watching greys in October, had 911 and 911 lone star throughout the year and shadowhunters is always my show before bed so i can see my good friends the tmi gang <3 in 2023 im going to tally how many times i watch shadowhunters 1x12

6. I got to read a LOT of fanfiction!!! specifically works of @khaleesiofalicante (i love you Dani!!) but fanfiction in itself is so so cool because it gives existing characters a whole new realm and it’s awesome and it’s my coping mechanism.

7. I became even closer to achieving my dreams. Not to be cheesy but i am applying for a Dream internship very very very soon and everything i did this year career wise was really amazing and helped me grow!

8. i think i did a good amount to get out of my comfort zone! even tho it was so scary it did help me grow as well and my 2021 self would NEVER believe what I’ve accomplished!!

9. I realized my worth and have come into myself more! I think knowing yourself is really important and I think I’ve done a good job at establishing who I am (this is similar to #4 but I’m proud of myself) I feel like you can even see this on my blog a bit because I’m not JUST tsc anymore I talk about my life sometimes

10. SOBH!!!!! sobh was one of the highlights of my 2021 and 2022 year and im so thankful for the laughter and the tears it gave me and how much I looked forward to Mondays because of it (and 911!)

here’s to 2023 yay tumblr!!

tagging (sorry if you’ve already been tagged and no pressure!) :

@khaleesiofalicante @becauseshesmiledatme @magnus-the-maqnificent @queenlilith43 @dustandducks @alec-not-alright-wood @tea-and-a-clandestine-agenda @elettralightwood @make-me-ur-aphrodite

Anyone else feel free as well to join!

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