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permanentswaps · 1 month

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A Second Lease - The Wedding

See the original from @mrwavellswaps here. Its probably my favorite story ever.

Five years had passed since I made the decision to seal myself into my son's body permanently. And let me tell you, it's been nothing short of ecstasy. Today, as I stand here in front of the mirror, adjusting my tie, I can't help but feel overwhelmed with gratitude. It's my wedding day, and I'm about to marry the love of my life, Sean.

As I straighten my tie, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I can't help but pause and appreciate the sight. I turn slightly, flexing my biceps, admiring the sculpted physique that now defines me. The reflection staring back at me is a testament to the transformation I've undergone. This body, once my son's, now mine, is a masterpiece – sculpted muscles, flawless skin, and a confidence that radiates from every pore.

With a smirk, I run my hands over my chest, feeling the firmness of the muscles beneath my fingertips. I lift my shirt slightly, revealing the chiseled abs that now adorn my torso. It's a sight to behold, one that fills me with pride and satisfaction.

"You're looking good, Jay," I say to myself, unable to tear my gaze away from the mirror. I straighten my shirt and adjust my collar, feeling a surge of excitement as I prepare to embark on this new chapter of my life. Today is not just about marrying Sean; it's about celebrating the journey that has brought me to this moment.

There hasn't been a single day where I haven't felt thankful for the choice I made. I can still vividly remember the day I proposed to Sean. We were hiking in the mountains, surrounded by breathtaking views. I got down on one knee, my heart pounding with nervous excitement, and asked him to spend the rest of his life with me. The look of joy on his face as he said yes will forever be etched in my memory.

Meanwhile, my dad's life hasn't been as rosy as mine. Every month that went by, he still went back to the woods, hoping against hope that he can reverse the swap. I can't say I blame him. After all, since I've been in control, this body has only gotten better. But unfortunately for him, no matter how many times he threw coins into that mystical well, it still never worked.

As the years went on, I noticed he began to look older than before. Whereas I kept my hair neat and trimmed and – in my eyes – quite youthful, he let himself go a bit. His long hair was still handsome, but definitely aged him up.

As he struggled to hold onto his youth, I eventually succumbed to a bit of guilt and couldn't keep the truth from him any longer. I came clean about what happened – about how I made that wish and sealed our fates. And let's just say, he didn't take it well.

"I made the choice that was best for me, Dad. It's time you accepted it," I stated firmly.

He stormed off, cursing me as he walked. "This is how you fucking repay me?" he shouted. "And why does that make any sense? Even if you wanted to keep my body forever, why would you make it so that the well wouldn’t work on me anymore?"

You might be asking yourself the same question. Why did I make both our bodies impervious to magic? Well, to be honest, I needed to ensure that I would be the only Jay – no other versions to detract from the attention. Nobody to take away the perfect life that I was living. And someone to stand in my place, so people wouldn't make my life a hassle coming and asking what happened to my dad.

Looking back, I can't help but acknowledge the brilliance of my decision. I mean, come on, look at me – I'm hot, young, and irresistible. But I can't help but wonder what it would have been like to let myself keep this version of it forever. But hey, I still look amazing, and that's not changing anytime soon.

As for my dad, he refused to come to the wedding. I'm not surprised, really. Ever since I came clean about what happened, our relationship has been strained, to say the least. But you know what? It's no bother. Because at the end of the day, Sean is all I need.

As I stand in front of the mirror, lost in my thoughts, the sound of the door creaking open breaks the silence. Sean's presence behind me is electric, his hungry smirk sending a jolt of anticipation through my body. As he wraps his arms around my waist, I can't help but smile, feeling his warmth against my skin.

"You clean up well, babe," Sean's voice is like velvet, low and husky. His fingers trace along the contours of my chest, sending shivers down my spine. The warmth of his breath against my ear sends a thrill through me as he whispers, "But you know what would make this look even better?"

Before I can respond, our lips meet in a fiery, passionate kiss, igniting a blaze of desire between us. With a teasing tug, Sean rips off my shirt, leaving only the tie around my neck. "You're one sexy hunk," he murmurs, his gaze filled with hunger as he takes in my exposed chest.

Moving towards the bed, Sean takes hold of the tie, using it as a leash to guide me, a silent command that I'm more than willing to follow. As he lines up his cock against my eager hole, I can't help but marvel at his size, every thrust sending waves of pleasure coursing through me.

"You've been putting in extra hours at the gym, babe," Sean chuckles sexily, his voice sending shivers down my spine. "I can tell."

He keeps pounding me. Its so good I can hardly stand it.

"God, Jay," Sean gasps, his voice strained with pleasure, "you feel so good."

Hearing him use that name, Jay, ignites a fire within me, fueling my desire as I flex my muscles, showing off for him.

As our passion builds, reaching its peak, we both find release our massive loads together, our bodies moving in perfect harmony as waves of ecstasy wash over us. In the aftermath, Sean's fingers trace patterns across my skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. "You're amazing," he whispers, his voice filled with reverence and adoration.

As Sean puts his shirt back on, I can't help but voice my concern about staining it. But he just chuckles, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Don't worry, babe," he reassures me, "it'll dry. And then, when we're on the altar and dancing the night away, it'll be our sexy little secret."

Later, as we stand at the altar, preparing to exchange our vows, my mind drifts back to our passionate encounter. Aside from being extremely horny for him, I also feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the love and happiness that Sean brings into my life. Becoming Jay and making his life my own was definitely the right decision. And as Sean and I embark on this new chapter together, I'm ready for whatever lies ahead.

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chronicbeans · 1 year

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Hello! Just a little heads up from me about my Welcome Home content!

So, if you notice that I am starting to produce less Welcome Home content, I just want to let you know why. I am still going to be producing it, I just might not make as much. The reasons are posted underneath the read more!

I am pretty sure I have been respectful to Clown's wishes so far. I do not believe I have been making NSFW content, though, I have seen some definitions of it that include disturbing or dark topics, which I believe have been writing (hence the warnings at the top of my posts. I have been desensitized to those types of topics, so I am not completely sure, but I put them there anyways). I usually hear NSFW in the context of just sexual content, but I want to be sure I am not breaking those boundaries. I believe I have heard Clown say that horror is allowed, as long as you put warnings for it, so I really don't know if I have broken it. This is just to be extra careful, because they are under a lot of stress. So, while I will still be writing for it, I might be doing so a bit less or slower.

Just in case anybody is worried that someone said something to make me make this decision, don't worry! This was completely my own doing, and nobody influenced me to make it. I just like to be careful when it comes to the topic of stress, anxiety, trauma, and the likes. I have experienced it myself, to a very high degree, so I am always striving to make others feel as comfortable as possible with my actions. I enjoy writing for Welcome Home, but I don't want to overwhelm anyone, especially Clown, with the topics discussed in my writings if that is a part of what they meant by NSFW. I will probably update the Illustrator Wally AU the most, due to it being the most tame with its subject matter.

There is also the topic of my passion project (I know, I feel like I am being a bit pushy with how much I discuss it. Sorry if you feel that way), which I really adore working on! A part of why I have already been a bit slow with updating the Welcome Home writing. That world has currently been what is floating around in my mind a lot these days, so it has been easier to write for that than Welcome Home. Tales from the Iolite Hospital has also been something I have been working on for about two years, now, so I am very excited to share it! If you like the sorts of topics I try to discuss in the Illustrator Wally AU (accepting others, regardless of disability/mental health status, as well as the struggles one can face with those disabilities/mental health status) and want to see a more in-depth (and a little dark) version of it, I think you might like it. Idk tho, because I am not you!

When it comes to fandom writing, I plan to maybe start writing down the ideas for my Five Nights at Freddy's AU, as well as my What Remains of Edith Finch AU, too! So, if you enjoy either of those series and want to see my takes on it, stay tuned! They might come out eventually! I just don't want to make any promises, due to how much Tales from the Iolite Hospital is taking over my brain. I hate breaking promises, because I then feel unreliable.

If you made it this far, again, please note that nobody has made me make this decision other than myself! I would hate for people to blame others for my own decisions. I also hope you can understand why I am making it, as well as stick around. I am aware a lot of you joined and followed for my Welcome Home content (I won't blame you, that was why I even got a Tumblr account in the first place lol), so I hope you aren't too disappointed. Y'all have been so nice to me, so far, and I am more than glad to have met such kind people through this fandom! I was honestly pretty scared when I first posted, lol.

Here's a little cheers! To good health, love, and good fortune for Clown! 🥂 CHEERS! ❤️

#welcome home arg #welcome home #welcome home x reader #wally darling #wally darling x reader #welcome home au

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beebascloset · 8 days

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I think it was strange of you to say that on the post critiquing anti-homeless architecture, and quite frankly the fact that you used the term snowflake is an obvious signifier that youre both politically uninformed and not worth arguing with. you can pull in all the buzzwords you want but it doesnt mean anything if your talking point boils down to "let people enjoy things". enjoyment of the shape of a bench is fine, your black-and-white problematic or unproblematic view is regressive and unusually defensive

The bench is fun with a cool design + has a really cool and interesting historical meaning behind it. unfortunately, the execution of it was designed and built with purposeful measures to prevent homeless people from sleeping it. putting a bandaid on the gaping gushing wound that is systemic homelessness — an attempt to make public areas clean and unlived in while ignoring the question of "how did these people become homeless?" these ideas can coexist easily and someone simply pointing it out is not an attack on your morality. nobody's forcing you to introspect. you look ridiculous, and i think you need to look up what a strawman argument actually is. hope you have a good one

Hi anon! Yeah I guess this is spiraling out of control and it probably wouldn't have happened if I didn't publicly get upset over it so I blame myself and I'm sorry for those who I've upset over a dinosaur bench. Yes I know now that it's hostile architecture and I knew what it was before I saw that tweet, but I didn't think about it because, well, it's a dinosaur bench. Some might compare it to a cute bunny holding a knife but I think that's going a bit far.

And I actually have looked up what a strawman argument is unless its definition has changed within the past year. I was basically saying "cute bench :)" and the other person said "it's hostile architecture" and while yes, hostile architecture is bad, I just didn't want negative connotations applied here if you get what I mean.

Like you know that classic Tumblr post that shows a screenshot of a scene from Monsters University where that slug is late for class and someone said something like "My boyfriend said 'is this a metaphor for slower kids?'" and someone else said "OMG TUMBLR SHUT UP ITS A SLUG"

I feel like the latter person in this scenario! I was hoping you would all see that, but I suppose I came off as tone deaf, and I'm sorry to all of you. I got upset because someone pointed out something negative and true about our world, and I demonstrated disregard to it. If I become rich enough, maybe one day I'll donate to ASPCA (or some pet organization), an ethical Autism organization (Please don't donate to Autism Speaks) and a charity for the homeless. Or I could pretend to be a contractor and get rid of the spikes on concrete benches that could be sat on. Who's gonna get me, the police

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arcaneyouth · 11 months

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Hmmm.... top 10 OCs and why you like them! Also allowed is just giving their entire backstory with each answer.

OH FUCKIN BOY this ones almost definitely going under a read more thanks

1) JOE!!!!

ironically i cant explain this one in detail sorry thats still spoilers. we are getting there in my comic i fucking promise just give me. another year. or two. fuck. anyways he's just!!!! he's my silly!!! he helped me figure out a lot about myself and what i wanted from the world and i kind of accidentally processed some of my biggest traumas through him and because of that every day he is a reminder that life continues, the time will pass anyways, tomorrow will always come, and fear of something ending does not have to control you

2) amedeo my fucked up piece of shit amedeo. ive already written paragraphs upon paragraphs about him in several different places so i will refrain from doing it again and focus on Why he means so much to me. he's kind of! like a counterweight to what joe helps me with? like joe reminds me i have the freedom to do whatever i want with my life, and amedeo reminds me i still gotta fucking be nice to people or that will have consequences i dont want. if i were to live my life purely by what joe helped me figure out i wanted, i would become amedeo and thats like not. good ADGAHFS and i have fallen down that path before. and there was still hope for him. so theres still hope for me. hes also really pretty

3) oh fuck now i have to choose between my beloveds. UHHHHHH dara we're going dara. honestly she only gets this high up the list because shes joes girlfriend, but she is still really interesting and special to me. dara did genuinely awful things.... 70 years ago. things she has spent the rest of her life trying to make up for. she is a good person who is trying so hard. she also cant even see how hard shes trying and sabotages herself often. she is the narrator of the story and its not a role she can bear. because she knows its not her story to tell. so she hands it to theron and lets them paint her as a monster, lets everyone believe she deserves whats coming to her, that shes the scum of the earth. and she knows her side of the story will change things. and she does not give it. she thinks the best way to make up for everything shes done is to finally let theron speak. its their story. and she is their villain. she knows its true. even as shes still trying, still trying to help people, still trying to survive one day at a time, still trying to improve (even if shes not good at it). she is still therons villain. she wont take that from them

4) reverie somethings fucking wrong with them. and you cant even blame them for it. at least when i go on unreality spirals i can get someone to confirm things are real and thatll help pull me out of it. reverie cant trust a word anyone tells them because Nobody Else Is Real. They Are All Made Of Code. of course an npc would tell reverie the world is real. of course the ai living in the game would tell reverie the world is real. what else can they do. the only other player, the only other real person in this game, left them. and now its just reverie. they cant find meaning in a life theyve replayed hundreds and hundreds of times. they get trapped in their own head because thats the only thing thats real. and their head isnt filled with any comfort. they are much too far gone to be helped by the people who care about them. and so the people who care about them choose to make them worse.

reverie is interesting to me because they are an awful person who just needed to let someone hold their hand and help them through their hardest days, but i know if i was in their position, i wouldnt have accepted it either. shattering what little hope they had left was genuinely the only way to get them to snap out of it and want help. if theyd just had a hug, that they could consider real, maybe theyd have been ok. but they couldn't.

5) eden, girl got dragged down hard by reveries spiraling. got treated like less than a person by them so much she believed she wasnt a person either. and none of it really mattered, in the end. everything she went through was about reverie. never her. for the entire story up until that point, it had never been about her, and at her lowest point at least she thought she had some kind of meaning and purpose as she shoved her sword through reveries chest and killed them in a way they couldn't just respawn from. and none of that was about her either. just reverie. any emotions eden felt did not matter for the plot elysium wrote. edens tragedy just fucks me up because she goes through so much for nothing and she still has to just wake up the next day and keep going. and she will. she just has to find something that matters, to her

6) theron this kids fucked up theyre like 10 and experiencing horrors beyond their comprehension

7) elysium,,,,, shes really pretty and also shes trying so damn hard to save reverie but the only way she can do it is to ruin their AND eden's lives. she's a good person. she writes the story and there was nothing she could do!! she just wants everyone to love the world she helped create for them and they Cant and that breaks her heart. she looks like shed give warm hugs and hand me a juice box

8) rowena. somethings wrong with her <3 she is kind, she is awful, she kills for her own fucked up sense of justice, she is the kindest person theron has ever met, she justifies innocent bystanders getting caught in her wrath because if they didnt want to die maybe they shouldnt have been on the wrong side, she is giving a 10 year old reason to hope and love again. she genuinely cannot be considered a good or bad person because every move she makes helps AND harms others at the same time. shes fun!

9) raid, they are another player of the game just like reverie (tho they dont know each other) and they are so comfortable with their life and they make me so happy. they wake up on a day theyve seen hundreds of times, and ask themself what they can do to make it special. life is what you make of it, and raid has made it into a love letter to everything thats ever existed. they have no control over when the resets and reloads happen since reverie is always doing it before they can even consider it, and they are ok with that. they really have a grip on what a joy it is to simply be alive

10) I CANT CHOOSE. FUCK YOU

#asks #WAAAAA THEM #MY BELOVEDS

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beastofwant · 2 years

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[Adrian] was always... kinda like that ig even from when i first knew him but we’d spent so much time just driving around, together, that we ended up having a ton of deeper conversations

we had a shared experience of being the really weird bad vibes kid growing up, though we’d lived on other sides of the country we both were the loners that couldn’t keep a friend group because we were just so fucking weird, and everyone thought we’d both be either serial killers or school shooters or otherwise mass murderers because we were just Off in that sense (read: neurodivergent, probably schizoid and schizotypal for him and I respectively, on top of autism for us both as well)

I talked about the shit i went through freshman year and how bad it was and how nobody.... got it. you know. nobody understands, or understood, the homicidal ideation and the anger and the violent urges were paramount to a cry for help, or something like that, but also just mixed with genuine desires I’m just gonna have to live with and maybe find acceptable outlets for if I really need it. idk its complex and whenever i try to talk about it with someone else they go “oh nooo you’re not a monster you’re not violent I can see it you are harmless :)” and I hate that so much. i really do. its not that i want to be a monster, it’s that I’ve been called that and I am reclaiming the term and I am showing you the most intimate thing abt myself which is this Sin and you just... deny it. why can’t you just accept it yknow why not

adrian would talk about bad things he’d done as a way to.. idk. he’d talk about it to other people, he was very self-aware but either did not know how to stop or did not care and idc really, he’d talk about bad things he’s done as a way to absolve himself of them. because then he’s been found out and people Know the nature of the beast and so he can blame it on them when they don’t leave and he hurts them rather than his behavior being his own fault. We were almost the same person but we’d made drastically different choices on how to be about things. I stopped talking about what i wanted to do to people years prior, I bottled that all up because I have to because nobody wants to hear about how you thought about stabbing someone in high school in the bathroom and you genuinely planned it and started to put it into action and only stopped not because of morality but because you know you would get caught and there would be consequences. that’s always the thing that scares me is consequences, because i can’t always see all of them and so i can’t always be prepared for them. I like to think I’m cautious but I’m not. I’m just scared. at least I am self-aware of my own cowardice, in that sense.

I liked it. I liked the feeling of being owned, at least at first, and I liked talking about those things and I liked talking about killing his ex (fuck that guy, seriously) and I liked just bathing in the Darkness in that sense, just drinking in how awful it was and reveling in that very fact. I was disconnected from reality. I was insane. I was blood-drunk and wild and full of divine madness. the forays into the wilds to have bonfires and drink and dance and scream probably didn’t help (dionysus-bacchus has really, really always been with me huh) but I was just having the absolute time of my life.

it definitely went wrong when we tried to make things romantic, because I overperform romance to my partner because I’m afraid if i act as i normally would (as in, treat them like a friend) it’ll scare them off or it won’t be enough (like how when i am in a relationship it’s difficult for me to talk about not being happy or having a difficult day/time because people have left for that, I feel like I always have to put a smile on. my first long-term partner left me because i was suicidal and they didn’t understand and didn’t care to, because they were busy hooking up with a person they’d dated prior to me.) and also because adrian was just genuinely fucking abusive and misogynistic as fuck which is hilarious because we were both trans men, he was just further along in his transition than me and passed really well bc he had a beard whereas I’m always effeminate. he’s the reason i went on T (I wanted to go on T, but he was the igniting factor is a better way to put it) because he thought if i looked more masc/visibly trans people wouldn’t hit on me anymore, because he really really was protective and possessive of me. he even got mad a friend of mine complimented my facebook icon... he was a bad person and I don’t miss him but i miss the spirit of what we had, I guess

i really liked having a murder husband(tm) where we’d just confess awful, awful things we had done and we would just be accepting and understanding like oh okay this really isn’t the worst thing you could do. we understood each others neurosis, for the most part anyway. but it was a bad relationship and it was fated to end badly, it just ended worse than id ever expected it to.

the dynamic itself was also just really... idk, addictive for me? i showered him in compliments and love he’d never received before, and at first he was so sweet, and it seemed so sweet, but when the relationship starts after a dubiously-consented-to-at-best hookup it’s kinda doomed. but we were mutually very protective, it really really felt like i had a ride-or-die partner in crime, very literally. it all ended when he started to stalk his coworkers and I was just so deluded at first that I helped him do it, because I genuinely did not recognize it as stalking until later and thought he just wanted friends but was doing it in a weird-but-harmless way. which is so naive but I’ve tried to see the best in people, always, until recently. I was also just removed from reality at that point which didn’t help

I felt like I was being kept on a leash, as an attack dog/savior/housewife all at once. I’d attack and threaten ruthlessly those who seemingly hurt him and I lifted his sins and kicked out the child predator he’d been dating for like almost a decade at that point and I did the cleaning and cooking and organizing all at once. and then eventually i felt muzzled, too. I just kind of thought well, this is it, this is the rest of my life and it’s not the most miserable i have ever been so that’s fine i guess. when we became official it felt like sliding, slowly, down a rocky cliffside and into the sea and being suffocated by the cold of the water itself.

he never dressed me but i think he wanted to. he gave me standards for what i was and was not allowed to wear and where i was allowed to wear those things and who i was allowed to be around when i was wearing those things. he’d mock me or call me a thot or a slut for my outfits. there was a huge argument bc i wore shredded pants without underwear and i was “showing everything off” to men and even if I didn’t care people were looking at me, he cared, because I’m his [property]

see I’m writing all of this now and I’m realizing that he probably didn’t see me for what I am and instead viewed me as a woman. and then projected his insane misogyny onto me and treated me like that.

the relationship ended shortly after he’d managed to befriend one of his stalking targets and brought him over to our house to give him alcohol (he’d just turned 18, the kid, drinking age is 21 here) and didn’t ask me if it was okay to do that (it wasn’t, that’s not okay) and that + realizing he literally talked more about his Targets than anything else when I talked to him (constant stream about them from wake to sleep) culminated in me asking him to stop but he didn’t and didn’t even try and didn’t even care when I told him that it hurt. I don’t remember the breakup but i remember the aftermath of it. laying in bed unmoving for days as i realized how bad and serious my situation was. i only spoke to him one more time after that, because i saw a disgusting post he’d made and apparently when i had been in another room sobbing breaking down over realizing he was severely abusive and so so so fucked up adrian had gotten drunk and made a ton of horny posts and then called him. i hope they did not hook up, for the kid’s sake. I wouldn’t be 24 and fucking an 18 year old I don’t think, not personally

adrian had always self harmed and he only did it after he went to work and one of his coworkers he was stalking didn’t give him the time of day, and sometimes it would get pretty nasty, and i would always nurse him because i just wanted to be loving and a good boyfriend even though i knew why. and there was a tinge of sick jealousy, why not bleed for me? like what a horrible situation god. after we broke up i went to a hookup because I, conversely, simply use sex to self-harm, and i stayed over at the guy’s house a few days and he bought me an uber there and back. and when i walked into the house it was so much blood, everywhere, a puddle of it at the door and spattered around the floor and on the fridge and on the door, leading all around the house. the bathroom was a horror show. and i just dissociated and went into my room bc i wouldn’t find out it was self harm until later. i thought he’d killed one of the boys and had hid their body i thought i was involved in an actual murder case i was so fucking scared. it took about a week for me to know what was going to happen and even then not all the blood had been cleaned and i had to clean my ex’s blood off the bathroom and kitchen tile. his mother, a piece of work herself who was nearly completely blind at that point and just lived in her own room and rarely left, never commented on this. maybe she never knew, but her sight was good enough to steal my cosmetics and hygienic products repeatedly so who knows

there were bloody boots and clothes in the living room for days. my door didn’t have a lock, so i began to barricade it. i was scared. i was scared. he’d enabled my worst parts. I’d been trying to help him but i don’t know, he was beyond it or unaccepting and didn’t care for the radical kindness radical acceptance shtick and it didn’t matter that i could level with him and relate on the basis of how fucked up our minds are. like there are so many layers to all of this it’s all so much, too much. and i feel like i’m utterly inconsistent and incomprehensible, I know I’m an unreliable narrator here because like. I was insane, that’s the only way i can explain it, I wasn’t grounded on this plane of reality. i wanted to see who he was if he’d recovered but he didn’t want to and in hindsight it’s not my job and i wish he’d fucking died with how much blood he had lost

#diary #dead dove

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coochiequeens · 2 years

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If the new dad goes to birthday parties, the gym and walks without his wife or child to give her some time alone he is not really a good dad or husband.

Dear Care and Feeding,

I am finding it hard not to resent my husband for being able to return to normal life after the birth of our child. Don’t get me wrong, he is very active and present in our child’s life. We have a happy 4-month-old, and he is always playing with him, holding him, caring for him etc.; he’s definitely pulling his own weight where the baby is concerned. He also works full time from home, so I am happy to care for the baby while he earns money.

I think, though, that I’m realizing the massive gulf between being a primary and secondary parent. I regularly have to hold our child while going to the toilet when nobody else is around. My idea of socializing is having someone come over to hold the baby while I fold laundry. If I want to have time away from my son, I need to decide at least 24 hours before, pump milk, find a suitable babysitter and then pump while I’m out. He can just… leave and know I’m here. He’s been able to go to birthday parties, to the gym, for walks on his own, just because he wants to. And while I’m happy for him to do things that make him happy, I also resent that freedom.

Whenever I try to think of a practical change my husband could make to support me, I can never think of anything. He’s so good at responding when I ask for help. I just want to stop feeling resentful all the time. Is how I’m feeling just a normal stage of motherhood?

— Missing Spontaneity

Dear Missing,

You’re correct about the massive gulf, and your feelings are not only valid, but probably familiar to many readers (and to myself). I will start by telling you that it does get easier with each milestone of independence. Once you are no longer breastfeeding and/or pumping, leaving the baby is less of a gamble. Once he is potty trained you can ditch the cumbersome diaper bag. And so on. Some families handle these early infant days more equitably than others (or they have hired help to get them through it), but yes, in my experience this is a normal stage of motherhood for many mothers. It’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, because you feel tethered to the baby, and even tethered to the house.

The most important thing you can do is talk to your husband about how you’re feeling. Loss of independence is a really big adjustment for new moms, but its impact isn’t tangible and easy to see to our partners and friends. I can recall a conversation when my first son was a baby, and I asked my husband if he minded if I went over to HomeGoods or something; he looked at me like I was a crazy person when I profusely thanked him for the opportunity. I’m sure he was completely baffled by why I was so grateful to go to the store—but of course, the trip wasn’t about the destination, it was about the ability to spontaneously leave with only my wallet and keys in hand. I swear I have never felt such freedom before or since. The conversation with your husband doesn’t have to put any blame on him or ask him for any alterations of his behavior; it’s just helpful to know that, even if you can’t change certain things, someone is at least listening to you.

But is there anything you can change? Yes. Remember that it will be incremental at first. That’s OK though, because you’ll be creating habits that you can build on as your baby grows up. First, when you, your husband and baby are all in the same room, get up and leave. I don’t care what you do—pluck your eyebrows, make a coffee, pull some weeds, hide in the bathroom. You’re training yourself and your husband that parenting duties can trade off. He’ll get more solo time and practice with the baby, and you’ll get a few minutes where you can remember what it is like to be an independent human being.

The other idea is to establish a night or two where he’s the primary parent. You can do something social, or go out and run errands, or just sit around the house knowing that you don’t have to be keyed in to hear baby’s cries. This isn’t about dad “babysitting” (a phrase and concept that I know enrages many of us on principle) but rather just about recreating that sense of independence that is no longer always available to you.

Finally, you say your husband is a great helper, which is awesome. You may find, with time, that you get tired of feeling like you have to ask for help. I don’t know what the chore breakdown is in your home, or how involved your husband is in making/attending doctors appointments, beginning new milestones (like solid food), switching out the clothing sizes, and other baby-related tasks, but many women come to find a few years down the road that they got into the habit of doing all the “kid stuff” and most of the “house stuff” simply because birth and breastfeeding (and maternity leave) put them in the primary parent role from the start and they never left it. If you think that might be you in a few years, I strongly suggest doing what you can to curb those habits now. My friend really enjoyed the book Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) by Eve Rodsky. It might give you some ideas for ways you and your husband can ensure equitable participation in both your home and parenting responsibilities.

There is no reason for this guy to attend parties without his wife. I know the kid is young but there must be a way to either take the whole family or find a trusted sitter for a few hours like a grandparent? That’s not even trying to include his wife.

And someone should tell them about an amazing invention called .....the stroller. It’s something that will let the guy take a walk with the baby. Both get fresh air and new mom gets time to herself.

#The Slate #Care and Feeding #the new dad is not pulling his weight #It’s just rude to go to parties without your spouse #Unless there’s a very good reason #and not bothering to get a sitter is not a good reason #The bar for dads is too low #There’s no reason he can’t stay home and let het get some exercise for every time he goes to the gym

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wisdominfumbling · 26 days

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Dealing with divorced parents

This subject is no joke to me, being a child of divorce has got to be one of the hardest things ever, it really gives you perspective and you learn stuff that other kids wouldnt know until they go to summer camp like packing your whole life into a medium sized bag.

From my experience as a child it was not bad, definitely weird and uncomfortable but not completely bad. I think it got worse as soon as I became a teenager and tuned into a bitch, now that im an adult I can admit that I was complicated, specially when it came to my relationship with my dad, I could be more than a handfull but on my side of the story, he´s a complicated person too, so it wasnt as easy as you would imagine, at the end i just had to learn how to read him correctly and figure out when to act wild and when to play by the book. Now that im 22, our relationship is definately better, we still argue but not as bad.

But there is a side on having divorced parents I had personally never experienced until I realized that it was my little sister´s version of divorced parents. A bad divorce.

The way you divorce your partner can mean everything when it comes to the kids. it is never easy but you can definately try to make the situation easier and more amicable, well this is not the part. My dad´s divorce with his ex wife was bad. He kinda ended up cheating so she will take the divorce, my uncle had just passed, I was acting complicated and he was developing and growing his own business (not easy at all).

Im not gonna lie, my dad is way different now than how he was in his late 20s early 30s, hes a better father now, even he recognizes it, so my sister is growing with the good part, im happy for her. But everything cant be perfect, if you have a good dad you gotta have a shitty mom and if you have a shitty dad you gotta have a good mom, well now you know which one she got. I know its been hard for her cause she has to kinda take a side at the end of the day and i know for a fact that she has to lie to each parent and you see them suffer in different ways, sometimes one more than the other. Or so you think, I always thought my mom had it worst cause she had to stay with me, care for me daily and handle my mess; But it was not until I moved in with my dad and started talking more in depth with him that I realized that he also suffered a lot from not living with me, there are things that he never got to experience with me, like driving me to school everyday and picking me up, having my friends over, waking up at night cause I had a fever or a nightmare, school prep the night before, doctor´s appointment, driving me to my friends houses, waking up at 4 am to pick me up from a party, etc.. And I know he hurts from that, fuck it, I hurt too he´s my dad.

And then there´s the part where you start blaming people, the mom, the dad, grandparents, relatives, bad friendship advice, myself just so you can justify in a way that the relationship between them didn´t work out. But its nobody´s fault, with time you end up realizing that it just didnt work out and at the end of the day it was for the better.

I have never liked having divorced parents but it happened and that is my life. I am destined to have two houses that would never completely feel like home, to have my life scattered in places, to explain that your parents are divorced after meeting someone new, to make one of your parents feel bad when you "pick" the other one to do something, to deal with steps and having to accept them even if you dont like them because they make your parents happy and you dont want to see them lonely. Definately not an easy task as a daughter, if im honest i think I got my fist grey hair cause of all of this, but if you´re reading this and you´re wondering.. yes I till believe in love and happy ever after, maybe I can tell you about it another time.

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raincamp · 7 months

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i feel like i might romanticize/glamorize SH too much, as someone with BPD + histrionic traits, romanticizing harmful/self destructive acts that get me attention is just a part of my disorder, and i try to keep it to just myself & not expose other people to it unwillingly, bc i dont believe in encouraging other people to start or to relapse

but i decided to make a post talking about the cons/bad parts of SH to cancel it out

obvious trigger warning

why you shouldn't self harm / the cons

- blood stains on everything. your mattress, your bedsheets, your favorite blanket, your comfy sweatshirt. how bad it feels knowing your whites will never be perfectly white again.

- it hurts. i mean. listen. you can say pain feels good etc etc but be fr our human instincts really don't enjoy it we just like the afteraffects/endorphins that come from it, pain by definition is uncomfortable

- having to get medical attention, or acquire medical knowledge that most people dont have. knowing the layers of skin and where all the arteries are. the fear of hitting arteries. hitting arteries and having to get help. having to pay for stitches.

- the constant need to be deeper, the never feeling like its enough, almost, almost feeling the satisfaction but never actually achieving it. the frustration after you fail. the shame of even trying.

- the addiction. the fact that its going to haunt you for the rest of your life. you could be clean for 10, 25, 40 years and you will still instinctually want to SH anytime something goes wrong and you dont feel like you can cope. you'll constantly be fighting yourself for the rest of your life.

- scars haven't ever really been a con for me tbh. but sometimes i think about the fact that i did it to myself, that theyre permanent, and theyre never going to go away, and it hits me, how a single decision can affect the entire rest of my life. permanently. and i have nobody to blame but myself. and it sucks.

- when you sh for attention and it works, and the shame you feel immediately afterward. and worse, when you get attention/validation from your scars after youve been clean for a long time and you feel like you conned & faked your way into it, and it taints the validation you were recieving.

- "promise me you'll stop 🥺 youre too pretty to do that 🥺 stop for me 🥺" when you roll up your sleeves after making a new friend and they dont get that its an addiction/that youve been clean for a while/ that you cant promise to stop because relapse is inevitable and promising will make it worse/ that its none of their fucking business jfc

- being unable to look at normal, mundane objects like razors, pencil sharpeners, exacto knives, box cutters, knives, etc. without being triggered.

- when you realize its been 10 years since you started and you STILL think about it on a regular basis.

- the itching. the nerve/sensation loss on scars. the weird zapping pains that happen years afterward. infections. the pain lasting for days/weeks. constant aftercare.

- scars fading and being triggered. seeing your scars in the mirror and being triggered. seeing other peoples scars and being triggered. seeing people score bread and being triggered. when people cut normal things and it looks just like sh and being triggered.

- clothes sticking to fresh cuts.

- either urges to relapse during winter because its easier to hide everything or overheating in the summer because you couldnt wait till winter. or both

- other people starting sh because of you. other people shing because of you. this has happened to me multiple times. i started someone's self harm addiction on accident. i can never forgive myself for it.

- forming other addictions to stop relapsing sh. being unable to stop one without leaning hard into the other. or doing both at the same time.

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cloomsday · 11 months

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im so so so fucking anxious. all the time. fuck. idk life stuff generally but also family...

like ive been in Greece for a full month now and my dad is just. himself. I definitely should not have relied on him for anything. we get to our summer place and for a full ass month my dad has just been smoking weed. the summer place is in an undeveloped rural beach town and we have no car, no washing machine, no fridge, no wifi, and no cell service. a week ago my dad got a car, but it’s a stick shift and he refuses to let me drive it for that reason. all I can do, day after day, is walk to the beach on this busy ass road with no sidewalk, since I can’t drive anywhere. the beach gets old after a month. my dad is just high all the time and does not care. I could have been spending this month preparing for technical interviews, but without wifi I can do nothing. I can’t go anywhere either.

ive been spending some time with my aunts, uncles, and cousins out here. they’ve got money, for real. their house has a damn elevator. and besides being rich, they actually, like, love each other. like they are an extremely tight-knit family, and always helping each other out and supporting each other. they host so many parties and like are always hanging out. I know nobody has an absolutely perfect relationship with their family, but I think they’re as close as it gets. my uncle is also like a big deal apparently, besides being a European like backgammon champion, his business is worth dozens of millions and he is also just a charming and chill dude. but the cousins have rich people problems- like the fact that one of them is 30 and has never had a job because she’s pursuing music. the other one dropped hundreds of thousands on flight school here in Europe just to drop out his last year because he decided he wanted an American certification instead.

I dont know. they're my family, and we were really close when we were kids, but some serious drama went down between my dad and them, that was entirely my dads fault, and we didn’t have contact with them for 10 years because of my dad’s orders. after my parents divorce, my mom went to live with them. oh it was all so traumatizing. it was all my dad’s fault. but anyway, time has passed and now it feels weird, that one day we were kids playing together, then ten years pass and they live in a seaside mansion with an elevator and a close family life, while my brother was sleeping at a homeless shelter not too long ago and our mom is dead. I mean its not their fault at all that things turned out this way and in all honestly i’m happy for their success, but its just hard to see them living a life that is far beyond anything I've ever even conceived of for myself. it also seems like they've been so successful that they’ve forgotten about us. they're perfectly nice in every way, but sometimes it feels like they barely seem to care about us aside from some pitiful looks now and then. they definitely dont blame my brothers and i for any of the shit my dad did, but they seem weirded out at us sometimes, like when they ask why I don’t go anywhere and I honestly tell them I don’t have money to do anything. In those situations I feel like being honest is making them look down on me, but im tired of lying to others about the realities of my life to make them comfortable.

anyway, I woke up today at 9am and it was pouring. it was nice to look out the window at the rain. so soothing. I went back to sleep under the pitter patter for a little more and woke up at 3pm. I dont know why, I fell asleep at 1am the night before and that's 13 hours of sleep. by the time I woke up my dad and brothers had already left for a day trip without me. i knew it was father’s day but I guess id momentarily forgot because my uncles and I were trying to figure out logistics for a trip and I called my dad to ask him some planning questions, then he got upset when he realized id forgotten it was fathers day. shit I guess that was my bad. I said sorry, but I guess he’s still pissed.

so he was out on his day trip and didnt wanna pick me up from my aunts house, so we couldn't celebrate fathers day together. I told my aunt a little last minute that I wouldn't be going out and wanted to join her for dinner with my cousins and uncle, and she literally popped off on me saying there won't be enough food and stuff, and I was trying to say its alright and I can just spend the night on my own and eat out but I just started crying and it was so embarrassing lol.

u know when u just feel it coming, your hands shaking and your eyes watering and u cant blink the tears away fast enough and you look like a fool? damn I got so triggered. and suddenly im in middle school eating lunch alone again, at every holiday eating a microwave dinner alone again because my immediate family cannot stand each other, and I guess my extended just doesn't want much to do with me. fuck I hate eating alone now.

well, they ended up calling me in to eat and there was more than enough food and everything was ok.

#idk I just need to type my feelings out #happy fathers day lol #ampbelokipi

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journalingmysadness · 1 year

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every day that passes, i feel more and more like offing myself.

i don't know, it's something so weird, it's a feeling inside me so desperate that i can't stand it yet i don’t have any courage to do something about it. i don't know how i can stand it. i get out of bed every day wondering, how? like, i’m truly honest right now, i just wanna stay in bed forever playing my little games and eating some stupid food and living just fine like that, but everytime that i think that it is impossible to live like this, i genuinely feel like ending all. the only thing that stops me currently is my mim and my cat, i’m only here for them because i don’t want to disappoint them this way. i’m definitely not okay.

it hurts me even more to know that absolutely nobody cares, but i don’t know why i care so damn much about that since it’s so obvious that i don’t have any friends really. i do have some people i talk to everyday (like m and b) and i have a person i talk to casually (like l and j) but to be really honest? i don’t feel like these people even consider me as their friend, i don’t feel like they care about me or love me as much as i love them. and it’s crazy to think that, because i know that a few months after i post this, some of these people will leave. it always like this, they always leave. and it’s sad because i’m always so desperate to have people around me, to have a small group of friends that makes me feel warm… but i can’t ever make anyone stay.

anyways, i don't know why i want these people to come up to me and ask me how i’m doing, it's not their job… but why do i feel so bad that they don't? i just wanted someone to come up to me and really demonstrate that i matter to them, that they’re with me and that i’m not alone. but i really can’t demand this from them, i know i’m not worth their time and plus, it’s not like i would actually say anything that is happening to me. it’s not that i don’t trust them, it’s cuz i know that if they did asked me, i would feel like its just a rhetorical question and not that they do care.

but well, overall i’m not important to anyone, i’m not worth anything to anyone, i’m not loved. i’m just a big waste of space and of everyone's time. i’m someone who's there for a small laugh on a daily basis but doesn't really make any special or important difference. and damn, that’s really lonely. i am so lonely.

the worst of all this is knowing that it's not just a feeling in fact... i don’t just feel alone, i look around and i don't really see anyone. no one to hold my hand, or someone to offer me a shoulder to cry on. i don’t have any friends that doesn’t get bothered or annoyed by my trueself, i don’t have anyone in which i can truly feel like myself without fear of judgment. it hurts so fucking much.

okay but, actually, i can't blame anyone but myself. i am the most annoying person in the universe, difficult to live with, to tolerate. i don't deserve anyone's time, nor friendship, nor love, nor importance. and for that, i just need to accept that this is my life. it will always be like that, i can’t change it.

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peachyysugaa · 3 years

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scream

― youtuber!park sunghoon x streamer!gn!reader

it's hard to stream horror video games when your neighbor is always filming dangerous mukbangs and screaming.

genre: e2l, neighbors au, angst to fluff, humor

wc: 3.2k

warnings: horror game mentions, cw food and mentions of cooking live things (inspired by this youtuber), sunghoon's a jerk at first :<, one mention of underage drinking (don't follow mc's example pls fisnfkskf), a few swear words

part of my youtuber enhypen series, the last upload! feel free to read on its own! ♞──────────────────────────♞

"AAAGH!" and there it is. your brows furrow upon hearing your neighbor's cry. does he not understand how thin these walls are?! there's a reason only college students stay here! grimacing, you ignore it and move your mouse to look around the dark house.

"oh shoot, i wonder if he's behind me?" you say to your audience while watching your viewers fill the chat with your custom subscriber emojis. "i'm going to do it, everyone, just―"

"OHMYGODOHMYGOD WHYYY?!"

more like why couldn't you be quiet?! you close your eyes in frustration but attempt to keep a straight face for the people watching you. "sorry if you heard that, i guess someone's having a bad day?" you chuckle nervously as you turn around in the video game to see a black slender figure. "oh! whoa, okay, i'm just going to run over here."

you got out of the creepy house and made it to the back of it to see a piece of paper on the wall. "oh, here! okay, this is going to be my last piece unless―whoa!!" the jumpscare comes up, and you're left taken aback as the game over screen appears. laughing at your shocked self, you're filled with glee upon seeing the audience laugh or scream with you. "that was really fun, everyone. i got some homework to do though, so i'll see you all next time i stream! bye bye!" you wave goodbye to the camera and watch as the viewer number drops gradually. after a few minutes, you shut off your stream, place your headphones on its stand, and push back in your secret labs chair with a sigh. "why did i have to live next to a maniac...?" you grumble.

as if on cue, another scream is heard from the other side of the wall. "EEE! oh my god, i'm going to do it, i'm going to do it!"

what on earth was this kid doing that he was screaming every weekend? you didn't even scream that much, and you played horror games for a living! your stomach growls as you're thinking this and as a living human being, you listen to it and get up to make ramyeon. however, even as you're making your dinner and even as you're trying to enjoy it with some show playing on the tv, of course, you have to be subjected to your neighbor's loud yells. once you're finished, you notice how oddly quiet it is and decide to give whoever this guy was a piece of your mind.

marching over with your keys in hand, you knock aggressively on apartment no. 505 until it opens. behind the door is a tall male with a face so well-proportioned you're thinking it's possible that some being above sculpted it themselves. his nose is accented with one mole on the side of his nose bridge and another a few centimeters under the opposite eye. "can i help you?" his rich voice asks with a slight sting to it.

you snap yourself out of it by blinking, incredulous that you almost forgot your mission just because he has a handsome face. "yea, you can help me by being quieter," you boldly state with your arms crossed in front of your chest. "you realize you're not the only one living in this complex, right? the walls are so thin, i can hear you screaming every time."

the male raises an eyebrow at you and scoffs to the side as if he can't believe what he's hearing. "can you just deal with it? some of us have to make a living."

"news flash, dude, that's all of us! the only people who would be willing to live in this place are college students! listen, i stream horror games for my work, and i don't even scream as loud as you," you retort and point your index finger from you to him. "so i think you should learn how to keep your volume down."

"and why haven't i heard these complaints from anyone else?" he tries to debate back.

"maybe because they're just quietly tolerating you. as for me, i can't anymore, so take this as your first warning, room 505." you turn around quickly with a huff and speed to your apartment next door.

as you're above to close the door, you hear him shout back at you. "my name's park sunghoon, room 506. remember it, because i'm going to make your life a living hell."

"l/n y/n, park sunghoon. we'll see about that." with that, you both simultaneously shut your doors with a slam that causes the walls to shudder a bit.

oh, he kept his promise alright. from stare-downs in the hallway, to bringing weird live animals in the elevator at the same time you're in there, to snarky remarks at the entrance that almost always lead to fights, park sunghoon has definitely made your life hell. to make matters worse, his screaming got even louder. you're sure that's a violation of some rule, right? wrong, the management for the building doesn't care all too much, as long as he's not doing anything illegal and nobody else has complained. you get what you paid for is the right saying here.

you were not having it. as a streamer and college student, weekends are your days with the freest time, and he took that from you. you found out that he was not just a college student but a youtuber, one that filmed dangerous mukbangs with live animals that he would then cook and eat, and because of that, he had also chosen to film on weekends. that was exactly why you had always encountered his screaming on days you were streaming, and now, tired of how petty he was, you decided to just cram your weekdays with school and streaming.

at first, it was fine, but as your days became packed with more studying on the weekends at the library to avoid sunghoon, you grew tired: tired of the crammed weekdays and for god's sake, tired of living your life running away. taking out a bottle of peach soju that your upperclassman dancer friend had snuck for you, you pop it open and make your way to the balcony that you barely used.

as you take a swig of the alcoholic beverage, you prop yourself onto the railing and gaze at the buildings before you, their lights blinding you from the stars of the night sky. maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it's your low energy state, but something compels you to scream. "i'm so tired!!" you yell out to the skyline. letting out a sigh, you plop down into the spare plastic chair and go for another drink.

"drinking your worries away? that's not going to solve anything," a male voice speaks up. your eyes catch sight of sunghoon, who has slid open his own balcony door. he's dressed in a casual beige hoodie and sweats as if he had spent the day just relaxing.

"as if you care," you mumble with your lips pressed against the green glass. "you're literally at the root of all my problems."

he scoffs at your statement. "this again? look, i'm getting tired of you placing all this blame on me when i'm—"

"are you so sure about that?" you calmly and sternly interrupt. the alcohol really has unlocked your usually inhibited thoughts. "why did i move my streaming days onto the weekdays when i normally spend them studying? because your screaming on the weekends always got picked up by my mic. why do i get 4 hours of sleep every day and study all night at the library on weekends?" it's like when sunghoon had taken a stick to prod at you, the floodgates burst open. you weren't stopping until you gave him a piece of your mind. "because i have to cram my streaming schedule and studying schedule to accommodate to your filming one. maybe i am blaming you, but i've tried my best to do my job all while studying and having to deal with an asshole like yourself who's so inconsiderate that he can't even do one thing for his neighbor who's practically dying to adjust their lifestyle because of someone else's."

your neighbor goes silent after that, choosing to just sigh and go back inside his apartment. you relish in the silence that comes after he shuts the door and down the rest of your bottle before heading back inside yourself. strangely after that incident, you heard less and less of sunghoon on the weekend and thus were able to return to your normal schedule. even while passing by him, he kept his mouth shut and would just nod a cordial hello. you guess what you said that night really got through to him.

and he proves that because after about three weekends, you hear a knock on your door. upon opening it, you're surprised to see sunghoon behind it, his hands behind his back as he shifts side to side. "oh, hello sunghoon," you greet him awkwardly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

"hey y/n," he returns. the youtuber stops fidgeting for a moment and bows after gathering up some courage. "listen, i just want to say i'm sorry." he looks up at your face, searching for some sign of hatred and he thankfully finds none, so he continues. "i didn't realize how much of an asshole i was until you said that. i was just thinking about myself and not about you or anybody else. i hope i was able to prove it to you these past three weeks, and i promise i won't go back to my old habits."

your silence is not so reassuring, so sunghoon nervously lifts his head to peek at your face to find an astonished expression. you stammer a little bit and hold the doorframe to keep yourself in place. "u-uh... gosh, i don't know what to say, sunghoon," you stutter. then, you notice another neighbor exiting the elevator, looking at the two of you strangely since sunghoon is still lowering his head. "oh! you can stand up straight now! please."

he does as you say, smiling sheepishly, and you notice how much better he looks smiling than the usual smirks he had sent you before. "apology accepted, sunghoon."

"r-really?"

you nod. "i mean, you really have proven yourself lately, so i don't see why i shouldn't."

"great!" his smile grows wider, making you blush and look anywhere but his face. "then i have a surprise for you to start over." you shoot him a confused look that he disregards out of boyish excitement. "close up, come over to my place for a few."

"o-okay, give me a moment, i'll be right over," you say as he rushes back to his apartment. you hurriedly grab your keys and look in the mirror next to your door to smooth out your hair before you're scolding yourself for caring about looks when he literally just saw you. closing the door, you lock up, head over to room 505, and knock.

"it's open," his voice calls from inside, and with that, you push the door open to find the living space of your own apartment, except totally flipped. to your left is a small living room, complete with a two-seater couch, a tv stand, and a tv. whereas to your right, there was a dining room fit for two, the kitchen right behind it before a hallway leads to the single bedroom and bathroom. you're too busy taking in this opposite room that you don't notice the fish tank on the round table full of live fish. "come over here," he says with an enthusiastic grin.

"yah, park sunghoon. what in the world is this?" you say flabbergasted.

"i'm showing you what i do for a living and cooking you a fresh meal," is all he has to say as you grimace and reluctantly move towards him. "this is my second time cooking it, so it should go a lot better."

"and what exactly is... it?"

"mudfish, way less than what i usually have for mukbangs though." you know, you had completely forgotten what the guy did on youtube since his handsome face distracted you for a handful of moments, but now reality had set in for you: he was going to do this live in front of you.

if you're uncomfortable with cooking live fresh food, please skip to the next italicized line!

"i swear to god, park sunghoon, if you do anything stupid, consider this restart invalid. you'll be hearing from my lawyer," you unsuccessfully warn him as you watch him put on some gloves and grab a cup of salt.

"relax, you're with me. i'm practically a pro," he tries reassuring you, but then he sprinkles the salt inside the tank. the fish start splashing around violently, causing you to let out a small yelp as some splashes of water get on you. "yaaah, this is way better than last time!"

"is this what you do every weekend?!" you shout at a low volume and cover your eyes with your hands.

"you can look now, it's fine," sunghoon says, pointing at the fish. you peek through the gaps between your fingers to see that the fish have stopped moving. sunghoon smirks as you take your hands away from your face. "see? i'm a pro."

coating and deep frying starts here!

he starts to coat them one by one in egg and flour and lays them down on a baking pan lined with paper. you watch as he handles each one delicately with concentration. "do you want me to start the oil?" you offer.

"oh! that would be great, thanks! the wok is already on the stove, just turn it on," he explains. you find the wok exactly where he had told you and turn on the gas stove accordingly, as if you've been here hundreds of times before, but in reality, you just have the same appliances. by the time the oil has been heated to the right temperature, sunghoon has already finished coating the fish. the two of you work together to place each one in the oil, listening to them sizzle and pop.

"we make a good team," sunghoon comments once every fish has started frying. you take care of the tongs and move them around when appropriate. "you should come by and guest star in one of my videos."

"if it's anything like today's, no thank you," you politely reject.

"what if... i invite you to eat after i cook?" he shoots his shot again. rolling your eyes playfully, you see that the fish are all thoroughly fried and turn off the fire. with his own tongs, sunghoon puts the fish on the plate as you go off to prepare two bowls of rice. the small dining room table gets cleaned up, so the two of you can start your meal. "okay, your answer?"

"depends on how good this mudfish is," you reply, holding up a fried fish with your chopsticks. he follows suit, and you two cheer your meals together.

"i'll eat well," the both of you say in harmony. finally, you take a bite of the crispy fish and hum in satisfaction, your eyes widening.

"mm! it's really good!" you compliment as he takes joy in your pleased expression.

"i'll take that as a yes to my question then?"

"hoon, i'll come over whenever you want me to," you exaggerate.

"deal," he accepts quickly so that you can't take it back. and that's how your first meal went with park sunghoon. soon enough, one meal turned into two, to five, to ten, until you're basically spending a lot of time with the youtuber. pretty much every weekend, you and sunghoon set it up so that you would cook and eat together in the afternoon so that you would have the rest of the evening to stream.

at some point, you find out that his major is biology, which is similar to your own in biochemistry, so your time with sunghoon extends to studying together and eventually gaming. one of you is always at the other's place and vice versa like you couldn't be without each other for a single moment.

you're eating takoyaki with said boy in your apartment this time, staring at his well-proportioned facial features as you chew slowly and think. he catches your unwavering gaze and chuckles. "is there something on my face, y/n?"

"i'm just thinking," you vaguely reply.

"about the thing on my face?" you shake your head at this. "then what is it? i know i'm really handsome and all, but you literally see me all the time."

"that's exactly my point!" you cry out as if you hit eureka, shocking him in the process. "we're together all the time. we were literally enemies at first, and now it's like we're dating! what is this, some kind of shitty fanfiction?" yes

"well, do you want us to date?" luckily, you had just swallowed the last bit of your takoyaki ball because that could've made you choke. instead, you suddenly start coughing, and he pushes your water towards you.

the coldness of the water does nothing to help your rising temperature as you take big gulps of it. "wh-what kind of question is that?" you ask, patting your mouth dry with a nearby tissue.

"a serious one," he answers nonchalantly. "because i like you." stream dreamcatcher BEcause

"huh? since when?" you're practically in disbelief. no way sunghoon liked you back. you had just discovered your own feelings not too long ago when you had tucked him in after an intense study session and he whispered your name. ever since then, you got butterflies in your stomach around him, and not because he made it a mukbang. (but you wouldn't put it past him?)

the male rubs the back of his neck. "it's been a while. i just know that i like you."

"st-stop saying that!" you wave your hands in front of your face frantically to hide the redness you know that has spread all over.

"oh? or what, room 506?" he gets up from his seat across from you to prop his elbows on the table, getting a closer look at your cute, embarrassed appearance as he rests his head on his hands. "make me," he prods some more.

reminiscent of the first time you cooked together, you peeked through your fingers to witness his adorable grin waiting for you. as if wanting you to seal the deal, he closes his eyes and smiles with just his lips. you shyly reach out to grab his cheeks, taking a moment to brush the fringe out of his eyes so you can adore the moles that dotted his face, and slowly bring your own lips towards his to press them together in a kiss.

it's short but sweet, and soon you're pulling away and finding your fingers more interesting. sunghoon's eyes flutter open and fondly gazed at you. "be mine?" he speaks up.

"if you stop making my heart scream, then yeah," you mumble, stealing a glance at his smug smile. he laughs, stands up, and walks over to your side of the table. turning your chair around as if you weighed nothing, he places his hands on the table behind you, engaging you in between his long limbs.

"sweetheart, that's the whole point," he says, leaning down to chase your lips and kiss you until your heart can't take it anymore. you're both screaming on the inside as your hearts keep pounding in your chests, but at least this time it's from your pure feelings towards each other.

a/n: omg this is the last of captured on camera EEE thank you all so so much for being here with me on this journey of my first one-shot series <3 this really shows my growth as a writer, and i'm so glad i could share it with y'all! i hope you all look forward to my next one-shot series~

taglist: @cha-raena @imjustme-things @misoiishi @rikitaiyaki @fiantomartell

#enhypenwriters #enhypennetwork #enhypen x reader #enhypen sunghoon #park sunghoon #park sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon fanfiction #park sunghoon fluff #park sunghoon angst #park sunghoon imagines #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #park sunghoon scenarios #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst

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makeste · 3 years

Text

BnHA 326: What’s up Kids, It’s Me, Your Old Pal Stain

Previously on BnHA: Ochako shamed the U.A. Clown Mob into letting Deku go back inside his own fucking school by giving them an hour-long speech about how not to be humongous dickheads. Kouta and Gigantic Fox Lady saved the manga by being the only ones brave enough to give Deku a hug. Shouto was all “man, all this togetherness sure does remind me of that promise you made that we would handle Touya together which you immediately bailed on, doesn’t it, Dad.” Aizawa was all, “for the one and a half people out there who thought that my losing an eye and a leg might actually make me less sexy, I’m very happy to prove you wrong.” All Might was all, “[standing outside the U.A. fortress alone in the rain talking to someone or something??].” Like seriously, what was up with that though.

Today on BnHA: All Might is all “here I am in Kamino having a belated mid-life crisis because Deku abandoned me and I’m a terrible mentor and everything sucks and I hate myself.” Stain is all, “don’t make me come over there and give you a ten page speech about why you’re still the goat while menacingly holding you at swordpoint the entire time” because idk if you knew this guys, but Stain is pretty crazy actually. Anyway so he does that, and then All Might gets all emotional, and then the lady from chapter 92 shows up and gives All Might’s statue an encouraging pep talk, and then Horikoshi is all “and it even stopped raining lol can you believe this shit I’m not even a little bit subtle,” and he really isn’t. But I still got emotional anyway, because seeing people reassure All Might that everything he’s struggled for his entire life hasn’t been in vain just got to me okay. Horikoshi knows I am weak to the All Might feels and he just goes for the jugular every time, that bastard.

lmao. “in the neverending downpour, All Might is...” yeah, thank you, glad we’re getting right to that then

“All Might is driving 95 mph in his busted ass car in the pouring rain, is what he’s doing.” huh

so basically a day or two after his adopted child refused to accept the handmade bento that he packed with love, my man is out here acting like he’s got nothing to live for anymore. this sure bodes well for certain prophecies on which the clock is still ominously ticking down

his fucking face though omg. is it weird that I’m kind of hoping more people ambush him just because I think it’d be funny to see them get their asses kicked like the last bunch

(ETA: or maybe he will just stand there openly not giving a fuck and basically daring them to stab him!! get it together please All Might.)

side note, “anti-hero supporters” is such a strange way of saying “people who hate heroes”, which I’m assuming is what they actually wanted to say?? this makes it sound like it’s a group that really loves antiheroes. “these Hannibal stans have been a real menace lately. time to go deal with them”

ha ha ha, fucking ouch

are you really gonna do it Horikoshi you bastard. are you really going to let that be the final encounter between the two characters whose relationship you once described as the vertical axis of the entire fucking story. are you really gonna?? huh??

huh

you’re telling me you were driving 112 mph and you still didn’t get there in time. you’re losing your touch old man. lol Todo’s ice is almost fully melted already, how late were you

(ETA: so apparently this is taking place after the end of chapter 325, meaning he went to U.A., hung out for a bit, saw the kids come back with his bedraggled half-dead protégé in tow, watched as they shamed the civilians into some long-overdue character development, and then was all “welp, time to go argue with the hero-hating faction or something because I’m feeling useless.” and Edge just let him go, just like that. though to be fair I have to imagine it’s pretty hard to say no to All Fucking Might.)

also belated lol at the fact that the kids were all “yeahhhhhhh we are definitely not gonna touch that thing, let’s just leave it here, he doesn’t need it anyway.” probably the right call to make since they couldn’t get a hazmat team on such short notice

fuck. ha ha ha fucking ouch part two

All Might please put that thing down before you get gangrene. also yeah, you dropped the ball, good for you to acknowledge it. nobody’s perfect and you did your best. but yeah you could have handled a lot of things completely differently. but I still love you

is Horikoshi really putting this flashback here. are you serious. what kind of fucking sadist

look, I swear I’m not one of those people that runs up and down the street shouting “DEATH FLAG!!” at every third panel lol. but this shit screamed Death Flag when we originally got it, and it’s screaming DEATH FLAG!!! even more now. like with the capital letters and exclamation marks and all. and that’s just a fact. I don’t like it but that’s how it is

ffkdjslk

“DID YOU READ THE SIGN??!” Horikoshi asks while zooming in maniacally because he thinks we’re blind or something. lol what

-- though actually, it only just occurred to me that this sign is actually written in English. I never really paid attention up until now and had been assuming it was written in Japanese and translated by the scanlators, but the writing here is clearly part of the original image. anyway so maybe that’s why he’s zooming in?? just to make sure everybody pays attention lol

okay fuck this

see, this is the whole problem right here. once again All Might is all on his own. Deku’s self-destructive angst spiral was fortunately brought to a grinding halt because he actually has support from his friends and family and teachers and classmates. but All Might never had that same kind of support, and it’s made all the difference between the two of them, and not in a good way. Katsuki wasn’t wrong when he said All Might and Deku were both cut from the same cloth. but now when it’s All Might’s turn to go all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD~~” once again, there’s nobody in sight

just, after forty plus years of him carrying this torch, I just wish someone would finally come along to let him know he doesn’t have to. all those things that he wanted to say to Deku are also things that he needs and deserves to hear himself. Aizawa was making a little progress there, but now he’s got his sad zombie cloud boyfriend situation to deal with, and we can’t expect him and his perfect hair to solve all our problems. someone else has gotta step up

oh my god

“you rang?” never mind I take it all back sob

omg why am I laughing. shit

this man truly has the best PR game in the series. we were truly convinced he was gonna suddenly become a good guy and defend All Might against the other villains or some nonsense. as if this wasn’t the same man who decided on a whim that Iida Tensei deserved to be paralyzed, and that his fifteen-year-old brother deserved to die for daring to be upset about it

lol even All Might is all “I genuinely never saw this coming” lmao

just want to say, for the record, I have always harbored a very sensible hatred toward Stain. feeling very vindicated right now. good job Past Me

adsfklwkfsdwgkj

ffffwefjslkg. ghsdlkg. dsfkkkslkjldwkjrg

STAIN: heard you talking shit old man

ME: smh that’s what I thought you’d say you dumb fucking Stain

STAIN: how dare you talk about All Might that way

ME: gljfljgk

(ETA: in hindsight I have no idea how I didn’t clue in sooner that he didn’t recognize him -- or, well, ~didn’t recognize~ him, to be more accurate lol. I think it was the whole “is that a slight against the heroes?” thing that threw me. Viz’s translation makes it much clearer that he’s offended on behalf of All Might specifically, not heroes in general. anyways.)

sob. so All Might is all “yeah I don’t blame you for not recognizing me in this sweet leather jacket”

good thing he still knows how to do this party trick

A+ reflexes on Stain’s part presumably pulling the sword back a few inches to keep this dumbass from impaling himself with his whole pufferfish routine. can you imagine if that was the gruesome death Nighteye foresaw. and he was just too embarrassed to say anything

lol anyways guess I was wrong about Stain everyone

way to fucking go, Past Me. you really biffed this one

oh wait

Stain sure is one wacky rollercoaster ride

oh fuck me lol I forgot how much I did not miss this

(ETA: “this here is the sacred ground where All Might gave up the last of his power and turned into a shriveled old man!! please ignore the part where I admit to knowing all about that, and yet pretend not to recognize said man when he’s standing two feet in front of me.”)

Past Me, I know we’ve had our ups and downs these past ninety seconds, but I’m really starting to think you were on to something. this dude has always been kind of insufferable. always acting like his high horse is a fucking giraffe when it’s actually a Shetland pony

dammit now he’s got All Might going off on a depressed monologue

oh my god my heart

shit

why the fuck does that hit so hard. he became a hero because he couldn’t bear to just sit back and let bad things happen to people who didn’t deserve it. I mean that’s basically the same as every hero ever, right? so why does it still hit so fucking hard every single time though. what is it about seeing someone so determined to stand up for other people and fight on their behalf. it just never loses its impact no matter how many times I see that determination mirrored in so many of my favorite characters

“I wanted to make the world a better place.” omg. but you did, though. like seriously, I feel like people are always dogging on him for not being 100% perfect, and fandom really doesn’t give him enough credit for everything he still managed to accomplish. this man came of age at a time when Japan was by all accounts a total shitshow, and singlehandedly managed to bring about an era of peace that lasted for four fucking decades. can you imagine having peace for that long?? that’s longer than I’ve been alive. shit

and he gave people hope. he inspired them and protected them and made them feel safe. and no, he couldn’t save everyone, because he’s only one fucking dude (and also because the whole time AFO was also out there desperately working to undermine him so that he could keep preaching his narrative of “heroes are bad actually”). but you know what he did do, is inspire multiple new generations of heroes who, if they can all manage to work together, will finally be able to accomplish everything he never could

so yeah. forty years of peace, and inspired the “that’s how we all became the greatest heroes” generation -- that’s a fucking win in my book. talk about having a net positive impact on the world. lol anyways now I’m all fired up and ready to fight anyone who tries to talk any shit about you, All Might

“but what if I talk shit about myself” okay listen up All Might I’m gonna need you to try just a little bit harder to work with me here okay. please calm down and stop blaming yourself for every single bad thing that’s ever happened in the world. do you remember that time Bakugou was blaming himself for Kamino, and you gave him a hug and told him it wasn’t his fault, and that he was only a boy, and that even though he was strong, even strong people can struggle with the burdens they place on themselves, and that you were sorry for not seeing that earlier? do you remember all of that? that’s what I want someone to tell you too, dammit. anyway please stop breaking my heart please and thanks

wtf

are you dead All Might

I don’t even have the slightest idea what’s happening lol

oh snap did he grab him so they could hide??

hold the fucking phone. don’t tell me this person in the background with the umbrella is here to actually do something decent??

oh my godddd

and here come the feels. oh boy. okay don’t mind me, I’m just gonna sit here sobbing over this fictional lady and her simple act of kindness in this weekly shounen manga that I care about way too much

FUCKING DAMMIT AND HERE’S A SECOND HELPING

DON’T MIND ME, I’M JUST GETTING DISPROPORTIONATELY EMOTIONAL OVER THIS WOMAN’S DETERMINATION TO HONOR A MAN WHO SACRIFICED EVERYTHING TO SAVE HER AND COUNTLESS OTHERS. I’M JUST HAVING SOME FEELS OVER HERE ABOUT HER HEARTFELT, DOESN’T-EVEN-KNOW-ANYONE-ELSE-IS-WATCHING FEELINGS OF GRATITUDE THAT COMPELLED HER TO COME OUT HERE AND MAKE THIS SMALL BUT POWERFUL GESTURE. I’M JUST OUT HERE GETTING ALL PROFOUNDLY WORKED UP ABOUT STATUE MAINTENANCE AND THE HUMAN RACE. NEVER MIND. JUST IGNORE ME AND CARRY ON

holy shit. I was not even remotely prepared. you can’t just do that to me. you can’t just leave all these death flags on my lawn and then suddenly shift gears to show me the best of humanity in a chapter where I was expecting the worst. that fucks a person up lol

OH ARE WE STILL GOING

my heart. you see that, All Might. your legacy is so much more powerful and meaningful than you think

...has. has Stain actually been giving All Might a pep talk this entire time

I give up lol. this dude is a fucking enigma

YAYYY

it may just be a metaphor panel, but I’ll take it lol. I missed them. nice to see the traffic light trio front and off-center. I know the whole “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes” thing had left some questioning whether certain characters would continue to play a central role in the narrative, and hopefully this will help to ease those concerns just a bit

anyway, so idk if it’s getting a bit chilly down there in hell, but damned if Stain didn’t just give an actual decent fucking speech

I have to say, earlier when I was whining about All Might not having a support squad, I really was not expecting Stain to be the one to come over and pat his head and reassure him that he made the world a better place

-- okay LISTEN

YOU CAN’T JUST COME INTO MY HOUSE AND HIT ME WITH THOSE ALL MIGHT TEARS AGAIN GODDAMMIT THIS ISN’T FAIR. my god. first 317 and now this

holy fucking shit

“I’m just gonna pretend like I haven’t been stalking him for two days and didn’t see the entire Deku bentogate thing go down, and then I’ll give him the whole big speech that I rehearsed, and then I’ll turn around and be all ‘BUT IF YOU’RE A TRUE HERO’, and then I’ll toss him the super-secret AFO wifi password that I stole from Tartarus. god I’m such a badass. fucking give myself chills”

so basically what you’re telling me is that this whole time my “what’s up kids” characterization of Stain from this shitpost has actually been 100% accurate. just want to make sure I’m understanding this right. okay then

“and then I’ll dramatically spin around and be all NOW COME KILL ME BITCH”

it must be so much fun to write Stain. drawing this coked-out maniac who talks like a chatbot that was trained to speak by reading Alan Moore monologues. that must be a trip

anyway so All Might is still crying, the awesome lady from chapter 92 is admiring her handiwork totally oblivious to the batshit insanity going on fifty meters to her right, and it’s finally stopped raining lol

“THE RAIN WAS A METAPHOR YOU SEE” yes, yes, we got it lol. thanks for that Horikoshi. don’t think we needed any help putting the pieces together on that one but I appreciate the effort

so that’s the end! and as I mentioned in another post, I had the count off by one chapter, but next week should be cliffhanger week! so break out your U.A. Traitor bingo cards, friends and fiends. either that or something else happens that I’m completely not expecting at all. which, based on my success rate with Stain predictions, I’d say is more than likely lol

mmm but anyway, so now that the Hug Deku 2021 campaign has finally come to an end, what’s it gonna take to get a hug for my struggling bento-preparing jacket-rocking world-weary death-flag-waving husband who is the worthiest man to ever live and deserves the fucking world, goddammit

#bnha 326 #all might #yagi toshinori #stain (bnha)#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

263 notes · View notes

diavolosthots · 3 years

Note

Hey dear! I hope that you have a good time! I want to make a request, but please delete it if you don't feel like doing it.

I saved that request in the notes and been waiting for you to open them 😊

For request

First fight with brother (any of your choice) and one of them (I mean MC or that brother) thinks that it's end of relationship (because never had anything serious), but they reconciled in the end. I want some heavy angst with happy ending. MC can be GN if that is OK.

If you don't mind you can do for Mammon, but feel free to choose another one if you don't feel like write for him. Or if that would be better to write as headcanons for all the brothers. That's up to you!

I haven't been doing requests for ages. Please don't hate me if there is something wrong! I've read the rules, and I hope I haven't missed anything.

Anyway, sorry for long ask. And thank you for your writings!

(I forgot to look if you did anything similar, and remembered it at the end of writing that ask. Sorry if you already did something like that!)

Hey babes ❤ I did end up doing HCs for all of them because I thought it would be cooler (or more like I know someone is gonna request separate fics for all of them if I dont and I'm saving myself that trouble lol) I still hope you like it ! ❤ also this got SUPER LONG so its under a cut

Warning: angst -> happy ending-ish

THE BROTHERS in a fight with MC and thinking that they’re over (yikes)

Lucifer:

Everyone always says Lucifer is quick to lose his cool but he’s honestly been nothing but patient with you. He may have hinted at several things he doesn’t condone and he definitely has that ‘look’, you know the disappointed dad look, but he has held back a lot so as to not ruin the beautiful relationship you have with him. Everyone snaps, though, and when he finally did, it was ugly. He did NOT call you names, but oh he didn’t. He went straight for your feelings and pointed out every mistake you ever made for as long as he’s known you. Ouch. In his defense, you weren’t nice either. The argument ended nasty and ‘I hate you’s!’ were definitely thrown around, but none of them were meant, right? Goodness, he doesn’t know. After you left, he threw himself on his bed, literally, and just stared at the ceiling. His anger slowly fled away and he began to feel… guilty. Not necessarily because of the argument itself, but because he delivered some low blows and he knows that. Are you over? Done with him? You haven’t texted or called or talked… you’ve been actively avoiding him and he doesn’t like that, but his pride is such an issue, goodness. He can’t straight up apologize, that dickhead, but he’s sending you flowers and standing in front of your door with a sad face that says it all.

“Forgive me? I made reservations at your favorite’s? We can talk over a nice dinner?”

Mammon:

Mammon is known to get mildly agitated over the silliest things, let’s be real. He’s also quick to revert to the “are you dumb?!” argument, which is never effective. But he loves you and he would do anything for you so even if you do do something that he deems ‘dumb’, he usually bites his tongue. Doesn’t mean that doesn’t get on his nerves, though, and he definitely has a short temper, although people tend to overlook that. You just managed to push his buttons today and he used the “are ya stupid?!” argument, to which you obviously defended yourself, and rightfully so. This ended in a massive screaming match and him saying “Then leave! Ain’t nobody keepin’ ya with me!” He regretted it the minute those words left his mouth and you could see his eyes grow wide in shock at his own words, but that didn’t mean you stayed. “MC!” he tried running after you immediately but you were faster and honestly, who can blame you? He fucked up, and he knows it, and he feels terrible about it. Honestly, he’s crying just at the mere thought of you taking his words seriously and he can’t… he can’t bear to lose you, you know? What’s he gonna do? You’re the light of his life, as pathetic as that may sound to some…. So he won’t let you run away. Homie will hunt you down and beg for forgiveness.

“Please, MC! Forgive me! I’m dumb, not you!!! Don’t leave me…” Don’t leave him. He will continue crying.

Leviathan:

His constant need to put himself down is frankly, quite annoying. To you anyway. But you put up with it and just reassure him that, at least to you, he’s the most amazing demon that ever existed. It’s just facts. But a person only has so much patience, right? You can’t always spend your days trying to lift him up when all he does is dig himself a bigger hole. Who has the emotional time for that? You sure don’t. “Oh my God, Levi! Shut up! I can’t take it anymore!” Followed by “See! You’re just like everyone else! Leaving me!” and then you slamming the door to his room shut. It’s frustrating and understandably so. It makes you feel awful that you can’t even make your own boyfriend feel good about himself and get at least a little bit of self confidence and it’s so, so, so very draining to have to constantly listen to that. At this point, it’s affecting your own mental health and you just… you just can’t…. But Levi can’t lose you because he knows you’re right. He has to work on himself if he wants to keep someone as amazing as you with him and that’s why he’s crawling back to you now.

“Look I… I know you’re right… I’m sorry. I promise I’ll … I’ll try. For you.”

Satan:

For being the Avatar of Wrath, you always admired Satan for his ability to keep cool. He prefers the relaxed and easy going life much more than the type of life people expect him to live, and you respect that. That doesn’t mean his constant need to one up Lucifer, through whatever means necessary, didn’t bother the hell out of you, though. You tried talking to him about it once or twice in a calm manner, but you always got the same answer “Pfft.. it’s Lucifer. Who cares?” And it never sat right with you. Just today he decided to pull a prank on the eldest and you had enough, standing in front of Lucifer and letting the bucket of cursed green slime land on you instead, to everyone’s shock. “What are you doing?!” Now that you’re thoroughly green from head to toe, you were also beyond pissed. “What am I doing?! What are YOU doing?!” But Satan matched your anger tenfold, accusing you of favoring Lucifer over him and oh! “You probably got an affair with him, too!” Which was a stupid thing on his part, but it looked like it the way you defended him. Anger doesn’t even begin to describe the emotion you felt running through you and had it not been for Lucifer, you probably would’ve physically fought Satan for such a dumb accusation. Lucifer took you to get cleaned up and lifted the course, giving you your natural skin and hair color back within a few days and plenty of scrubbing, and Satan felt like shit. You’ve always been there for him and, rationally speaking, he didn’t have a reason to doubt your loyalty to him, but he just can’t help but feel insecure beside Lucifer…. He decides to come apologize anyway, a deep blush on his face and guilt in his eyes

“I’m… sorry for accusing you. It wasn’t my right to speak out of anger and jealousy…”

Asmodeus:

How can anyone fight with the Avatar of Lust? Seriously, the guy is super easy going and he loves pretty much everyone. Not as much as himself, but almost. You on the other hand… you didn’t. Well you didn’t NOT love him or yourself, but you were just… you. You didn’t spend 4+ hours in the bathroom trying to get ready when you knew you were only going to the kitchen down the stairs. Like?? Although you never brought it up to Asmodeus, he constantly bothered you about skincare and what foods to eat and what not to eat, etc… It’s quite annoying, honestly, and at some point you just gave him a passive aggressive “Okay, whatever. Can we move on now?” To which he didn’t take lightly. He was still nice and sweet, trying to convince you that at least one of these things will make your skin glow brighter than a unicorn’s ass but you just had enough. “Can you stop?! You’re indirectly saying I’m ugly without that shit ton of product in my face and a diet that would make me starve before it helped me! If you want a skinny VS angel that barely holds onto their skeleton, get one!” It was more hurt and frustration speaking than anything, but your outburst still shocked him and he was taken aback for a moment. And then you ignored him for a week straight and as someone who thrives off of attention, especially the kind he gets from you, he can’t handle that! So he showed up in your room in sweats and a tshirt and messy hair and no product on his skin.

“You’re right… we’re all naturally beautiful…. Wow that… that really hurts to say MC but can you forgive me?”

Beelzebub:

Oh the sweet, sweet angel. He’s far from innocent and you know that. We all know that. But for this story, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. His reliance on Belphegor is just really… annoying. Belphegor this, Belphegor that. “Belphie used to…” or “Belphie said….” or “one day when Belphie and I….” Like why does everything have to include his twin? It’s so annoying and so rude when your significant other is right here !!! and planning their own future with you, Beel, thanks. It makes you feel less than and like Belphegor will always come before you. It makes you feel like shit, quite frankly, and who is to blame you? “Hey MC did I tell you what Belphie---!” “No! Shut up! I don’t care! It’s always about Belphie! The day you come to me and don’t let that name drip from your tongue is the day Jesus comes back to save me and we both know that will be never! I’m tired of always being stuck with Belphegor! We are not equals!” Granted, you shouldn’t have yelled and Beel was more than confused at your outburst, but you wouldn’t talk to him anymore after that so he left you alone. He thought you may need an hour or two, maybe a day tops, but that day turned into a full week and he even lost his appetite just because he knows you’re angry with him. It’s been a week, does that mean you’re over? His heart aches just at the thought…

“I’m sorry for bringing Belphie up… I don’t want you to feel less than, MC. You mean a lot to me and so does Belphie, but you’re not Belphie and I need to learn that…”

Belphegor:

Honestly it’s a miracle he hasn’t lost his temper at you yet. Well, he partially blames it on his own laziness because if being angry or getting upset didn’t take so much energy out of him, maybe he would’ve snapped by now lol, but he tries really hard not to because he thinks your relationship with him after everything is pretty good, considering yall kiss and snuggle and fuck on a regular basis. But anyway, that’s exactly the issue. Considering everything, you’re still holding *that* against him. It’s never direct either, which makes it worse. It’s always said in a joking manner and something like “haha look it’s just like that one time you killed me” or “Beel’s grabbing that ham like you grabbed my throat” or “I remember seeing jesus for a moment there” and it agitates him. It makes him so angry, and he finally snapped. “I know I fucked up MC! Stop holding it against me! What do you want? A medal of honor? A survivor's certificate? Maybe a pat on the back for developing some sort of Stockholm syndrome that made you come back to your abuser?!” And then he left. And you may have cried both from confusion and your own anger, he isn’t quite sure. It’s just so…. Aggravating. He can’t deal with it. He knows it was a mistake spurted by his own insecurities and survivor’s guilt which ultimately led to his hatred but please, stop holding it against him.. He can’t keep putting up with it from the person he’s grown to love. He’s the one ignoring you and he won’t budge either because he’s a stubborn ass, but maybe if you come up first…

“I’m sorry for yelling at you… I’m just so tired for it being held against me… I love you, and you should know that, and I do feel guilty about what happened.”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #cheys headcanons #asmodeus obey me #belphegor obey me #mammon obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #tw angst

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cuttoothed · 3 years

Text

For day 6 of @jonmartinweek for the prompts "flirting" and "jealousy". Guess I'm living in this nebulous post-200 AU permanently now!

(Yes, I have decided that they live in Scotland. And also that Martin works for a non-profit that provides resources for LGBT+ youth.)

CW for discussion of jealousy (including mention of Martin wanting Jon to smite Oliver), mild flirting outside of a relationship, and teasing about said flirting. Take care if any of that is uncomfortable for you.

On Sunday they go to the pub that Martin’s been raving about. It’s a newly opened place not that far from their flat; he had gone there for karaoke last Thursday with his crowd from work, and when he came home—tipsy and affectionate—had insisted that Jon would love the place, and that they had to go this weekend.

“They do a Sunday roast, Jon,” he enthused, “I know you love a Sunday roast. And the cocktails are amazing!”

“I can see that,” Jon said, eyeing his slightly wobbly boyfriend with amusement. “All right then, we’ll go this Sunday.”

Martin had pressed a messy, exaggerated kiss to his cheek for that, and Jon had made sure to get a couple of glasses of water into him before bed that night.

Now it’s Sunday afternoon and they’re at The Brew House, and Jon has to admit it’s very nice. The interior is a mix of classic wood-and-brass and modern decor, with low-fi acoustic music playing in the background. Jon is pleased when he spots the rainbow flag hanging alongside the saltire behind the bar; not that he would be uncomfortable in its absence, but it’s always nice to see. Heartening.

The pub is moderately busy, but they’re easily able to find a table. Martin goes to the bar, and Jon sees him talking to the bartender, a tall, heavyset man of maybe forty, with graying hair and a salt-and-pepper beard. They're smiling as they talk, and then the barman says something that makes Martin laugh out loud, and he’s still grinning as he brings over the drinks—a craft stout for Jon, a cider for himself—and menus.

“What was that about?” Jon asks, curious. Martin shakes his head.

“Nothing. I was just talking to the owner, he remembered me from karaoke the other night.”

“Oh, did he now?” says Jon, raising an eyebrow, and Martin rolls his eyes.

“He only remembered because I made an arse of myself trying to reach the high notes in “Take On Me.””

“Of course, that’s the only reason.” Jon nods with mock solemnity, and Martin gives him a glare without any heat in it. Jon notices that his cheeks have gone faintly pink.

“I feel like I’m being accused of something here,” Martin protests. “When all I’ve done is be bad at karaoke.”

“I’m not accusing you of anything,” says Jon primly, taking a sip from his pint. “I’m just asking questions.”

They’ve both agreed to try the Sunday roast, but Jon glances at the menu anyway, in case there’s anything of interest for next time they come here. If Martin ever lets me come here again, he thinks mischievously. After a few minutes, the owner approaches their table, smiling broadly. He’s a good looking man, Jon notices.

“Well, what takes your fancy?” he asks in a deep, pleasant voice.

“The roast for me, please,” says Jon. “What about you, Martin? What takes your fancy?” Martin gives him another glare, his cheeks coloring again.

“I’ll have to go for the roast as well, thanks,” he says. The owner smiles again, taking their menus.

“Good choice,” he says. “Not to be biased, but our Sunday roast is fantastic. Almost as good as I’ve been told our cocktails are.” He winks at Martin, and doesn’t seem to notice when he almost chokes on a mouthful of cider. “I’m Nick, by the way. Martin, right?”

“Y-yeah,” says Martin. “Nice to meet you—or, uh, to learn your name?”

“I’m Jon,” says Jon dryly, and Nick’s smile turns on him.

“Good to meet you both. I’ll be back with your food in no time!”

He sets off, and Jon smirks across the table at Martin, who is flustered and very definitely red in the face. Martin glares back at him.

“What?” he says indignantly. Jon only smirks more.

“I’m ace, Martin,” he says, “Not oblivious. I recognize flirting when I see it.”

“Not jealous, are you?” Martin asks pointedly. Jon considers for a moment.

“A bit,” he says. “How could I not be, seeing an attractive man flirting with my very attractive boyfriend and making him blush?”

Martin huffs dismissively, but a small, pleased smile spreads across his face. “Oh please, I was not blushing.”

“Of course you weren’t,” says Jon, grinning. “It’s rather cute, though, watching you get all flustered. Did you ever get that way about me?”

“Only the entire first two years we knew each other,” Martin says, grinning back at him; his foot kicks gently against Jon’s under the table. “I think you just thought I was incompetent, though.”

“Perhaps I was a bit oblivious at that point,” Jon admits, and Martin laughs.

“You got there in the end.”

The food arrives, heaping plates of roast beef and veggies and Yorkshire puddings, smothered in rich gravy. It smells amazing, and tastes as good as it smells, and Jon eats more than he really should. Afterwards, Nick comes to their table again; he sets down another pint of the (rather good) stout in front of Jon, and a tall glass full of ice and orange-gold liquid in front of Martin.

“I remembered when you were here Thursday you asked for a Hairy Sunrise, but we were out of triple sec. So, here it finally is—and this round’s on the house to make up for that.”

“You really don’t need to—” Martin begins, but Nick waves his protests away.

“Anyone who can belt out A-ha like that deserves a free drink,” he says. “Besides, I have an ulterior motive—we’re new, so I’m trying to build up a base of regulars. I hope we’ll see plenty more of you in future—both of you.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will,” says Jon. “At least if Martin has anything to say about it.”

“Great!” Nick beams, while Martin tries to murder Jon with his eyes. “I look forward to it!”

They linger for some time over their drinks, full of food and enjoying the relaxed atmosphere; when they finally leave, Nick waves them a cheery goodbye from behind the bar.

“Okay, fine,” says Martin when they get outside. “Maybe he was flirting with me, just a bit. You’re not annoyed, are you?”

“No, I’m not annoyed,” Jon assures him. “There’s nothing wrong with a bit of harmless flirting. Not as if I’m going to ask you to murder him or anything.”

“Ha-ha,” Martin deadpans, and Jon grabs his hand, uses it to tow Martin’s arm around his shoulders. Martin leans in close, making a pleased sound.

“Besides, I can’t blame him,” says Jon. “I’ve got the most gorgeous boyfriend in the world—how could he resist?”

“No, that can’t be right.” Martin frowns. “Because I’m pretty sure I’ve got the most gorgeous boyfriend in the world. So it doesn’t matter who flirts with me—”

“No matter how bearded and tall and definitely your type,” Jon interjects, and Martin kisses his temple.

“No matter,” he agrees. “Because nobody could possibly compete.”

And it’s not as if Jon had any doubts about that, but it’s still nice to hear, the little sliver of jealousy in his chest melting away in the warmth of Martin’s affection. He pulls Martin’s arm tighter around him, and they walk home in the evening sunshine.

#the magnus archives #tma #jonmartinweek2021 #my fic #jonmartin

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ray-ray-writings · 3 years

Text

Visiting Hemlock-Dream

This is a Dream x gn!reader in the dreamsmp! Small thing, hemlock is another type of poison. It is actually the poison that the Greek philosopher Socrates was forced to consume after he was found guilty in his trail.

Masterlist here

This is a part two to Sweet as Cyanide (here), so if you haven’t read that yet you can check it out . Don’t worry. I’ll wait…..

All good? Okay here we go!

Y/N is finally able to visit Dream in prison.

Y/N’s POV

“Are you sure about this? You know no one would blame you if you never wanted to see him again,” Niki questioned, a soft hand resting on my shoulder. I had to force myself not to roll my eyes and scoff. Instead, I settled for a fake shy smile and a small head nod, “I know Nik. But I really want to see him. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help it,” I explained, hoping desperately she would leave it at that. Niki gave me a pitiful smile as she nodded, giving my arm a tight squeeze. “I know what you mean… I’ll be right here when you get out,” She assured, wrapping her arms around me in a quick hug before taking a few steps back. “Thanks Niki. I’ll see you in a bit,” I claimed softly before turning toward the prison. I took a deep breath before making my way to the entrance.

I let out a deep breath as I reached up and pressed the button, letting Sam know I was there. A noise sounded letting me know I could enter and pass through the grid. I was greeted by Sam at his desk. “Hey Y/N” Sam greeted me, holding a stack of papers. “Hey Sam,” I greeted back, my eyes scanning around the place. “This looks really nice,” I complimented the warden on his build. “Thank you!” He beamed, handing the papers he held to me. “These are just waiver you need to sign. They basically say that you release the prison from all responsibility if you get hurt and that that responsibility falls on the prisoner you are visiting.” He explained, handing me a pen. I hummed and quickly scanned the documents before signing them.

Sam quickly took them and tucked them away in his desk before standing up and moving out from behind the desk. “Alright. We’re good to move on.” I followed him out of the room and into a room full of chests. “Please put all your things in this chest here,” He asked, motioning to a chest near the door. I gave him a nod before quickly emptying my inventory. Once I was done, I turned and proved to Sam that there was nothing left on my person. Sam gave me a smile and a nod before we moved on once more.

My excitement grew as we walked down the path I had only been down once before. My hands seemed to shake at the sight of the lava wall that hid my boyfriend from my view. “Hey, if you’re too nervous to do this, you can turn back around. You don’t have to see him,” Sam comforted, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. He was taking my excitement as nerves… good. I took a deep breath and gave him a shy smile, “I’m okay Sam, really. I want to see him,” I assured the tall man. “Okay… Do you want me to stay here with you or go back to the cams?” Sam questioned, still unsure if he should leave me alone with ‘the monster’. “You can go watch on the cams. I’ll be fine, even if something were to happen you could be back here in a flash,” I claimed with a small smile.

Sam gave me a small nod, “Alright, here you go.” Sam reached over to the wall and pressed the button that controlled the lava. Slowly, the lava stopped falling, revealing my love. I felt my breath catch in my throat at the sight of the blonde boy that had my whole heart. The iron bars fell allowing me free access to Dream. Sam gave me a pat on the back before he disappeared out the door.

I wasted no more time and ran to Dream. A smile, a real smile, formed on his face as I raced toward him. Our bodies crashed together with the swift motion, my arms wrapping around his neck, his around my waist. I squeezed him tightly as I buried my face in his neck. I couldn’t help the tears that fell from my eyes and onto his skin. “I missed you so much bub,” I cried into his neck. “Shhh, love,” he murmured, rubbing one hand up and down my back, holding me close.

“I missed you too. I’ve been so lonely here. I’ve missed your sweet words, your gorgeous face. I miss waking up next to you every morning. I love you so much,” he muttered into my ear, pressing a kiss to my temple. His words shocked me a bit. Yes, I love Dream and he loves me, but he almost never acted like this. “I’ve missed everything about you. I miss your kisses and cuddles. I miss the way you’d threaten everyone for even looking at me in the wrong way. I’ve missed going to sleep next to you, cuddling and waking up the same way. I love you so much too,” I muttered back.

Dream pulled away slightly, just enough to face me before crashing his lips into mine. My eyes fluttered closed as I completely melted into the kiss and into my boyfriend. I missed my love so much. I missed feeling his lips on mine. His gentle touches, his sweet smiles, his manipulation of everyone around us. He’s mine and I am his, no matter what and no matter where.

Dream was the one to pull away from our kiss. “God I’ve missed that,” He announced, grinning from ear to ear. I couldn’t help but giggle and return the grin, “I’ve missed that too.” Dream slowly unwrapped himself from me, but quickly reached out and took my hand. He walked me over to his bed. He let go of my hand before sitting down on his bed, resting his back against the wall. I raised my eyebrow at his actions but he simply patted his lap telling me to sit down. I giggled and rolled my eyes at the action, but obeyed. I quickly moved my legs so that there was one on either side of his thighs and I sat on his lap. Once again, my arms moved to wrap around his neck and his came to wrap around my voice.

“So,” Dream began once we got settled, “How’s it going out in the free world?” Dream asked, teasingly. I could tell that he was both asking about the server, but was also making a joke about the fact everyone thought that I was now ‘free’ from his control. “It’s all fine, I guess. You were right. Everyone began coddling me the second that prison door slammed behind me. I’ve been staying with Niki because they think going back to our house is too painful for me,” I informed Dream, who simply scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“The more important thing though,” I started, lowering my voice a lot as to not have it picked up by the cameras, “I can’t get a hold of Technoblade. No one has seen him, or at least not that they’re telling me. I went to his house and he wasn’t there, I went to Phil’s house and he said he hadn't seen him. But I’ll keep looking. I’m going to get you out of here.” I promised my boyfriend quietly. Dream’s brow furrowed, “That’s really odd. Especially since Philza hasn’t seen him… He must remember he owes me that favorite. But you have my full trust, love. I know you’ll make me proud.”

My heart swelled at his words. It was so comforting to hear that. Even though weeks ago, he promised me it wasn’t my fault he was here, I could help but still feel guilty about it. Especially because I had to pretend that I was happy he was gone. I didn’t respond with words, instead leaning forward and pressing my face into the side of his neck and pressing a small kiss there. “I love you.” “I love you too.”

The rest of the time we spent together was in that position. I told him about all the new structures that were being built around the server. I told him about how everyone was working together but there was definitely still some tension. Dream didn’t seem surprised at that at all. Dream told me about his days at the prison. He had a small clock gifted to his by Sam. He admitted to me that he would sometimes throw his clock out of his cell into the lava so Sam would come in and bring him a new one, allowing Dream to have some form of human contact. He got three meals a day, but he claimed none have ever been good as my cooking, that made me blush. Dream spent most of his day thinking about me and the things he would be doing if he wasn’t locked up. He kept a little journal in order to keep himself sane.

In a much quieter tone, Dream also told me of the little things he’s noticed about the prison. How the lava always takes a few seconds before it begins its descent. Dream told me he knew that the redstone sometimes would misfire and Sam would have to take the time to fix it. Sometimes it only took a few minutes but there were also times he’d be gone for many hours. Dream also spoke of where he thinks the elder guardian that causes mining fatigue was being held. I listened very carefully to what he was telling me. Sam is an excellent builder, even better engineer, but nobody was perfect and it sounds like to me that Dream was slowly but surely finding Pandora’s Achilles heel.

It felt so good to be in Dream’s arms again though, even in this circumstance. In the many years we’ve been dating, I’ve never been away from Dream for that long before and it was really hard. Which explains why I was so excited for this visit… But alas, all good things must come to an end.

“Times up Y/N…” Sam called softly from the platform behind us. I looked over my shoulder and gave the man a nod in acknowledgement. I turned back to Dream, leaned forward and pressed a swift kiss to his lips. “Goodbye my love,” I whispered to the blonde man, tears threatening to fall again from my eyes. A smile appeared on his lips, “Goodbye love,” He returned at the same level. I slowly got off of my boyfriend and walked away from Dream. Once I was out of the cell, I turned back around to face Dream, who had also stood up from his bed “I’ll be back soon,” I promised the blonde boy who remained in his cell. A small chuckle left his lips as the iron bars enclosed him once more, “I’ll be here.”

With that, I took a few more steps back to stand next to Sam. I gave my boyfriend a small wave as Sam pressed the button to make the lava begin pouring from the ceiling. I could see Dream's sad smile as he waved back at me and then he was gone.

“You okay?” Sam asked gently, a hand resting on my shoulder. “Yeah,” I sniffed, reaching up and wiping at my eyes, “Yeah. I’ll be fine. Thank you for letting me see him,” I thanked, changing the topic. Sam gave me a soft look as he nodded, “Of course. You’re always welcome to come back. I can even show you around to other rooms if you ever want.” I nodded at his words. “That sounds really cool. I’d love to see them. I’d love to see this whole place,” I told him as cooly as I could. The one thing I could not do right now was raise suspicion. “When we get back to the front desk we can set a time and date!” He offered cheerfully. Once again I nodded, this time a bright smile beaming across my face. “I’d like that.

I couldn’t help but mentally chuckle at the situation though. I don’t know why after all this time everyone still thinks I’m just so sweet and innocent. Sam offering to show me around like a father would show his child around his work place on bring your kid to work day simply confirmed that thought even more. Little does he know how hard it’s going to bite him in the butt. I’m going to get my boyfriend out of this Pandora’s Vault…. If it’s the last thing I do.

There you go! I hope you enjoyed! If so, be sure to leave a like! Maybe even reply or a reblog?

#mcyt #mcyt imagine #mcyt one shot #mcyt x reader #dream #dreamwastaken #dream imagine #dream one shot #dreamwastaken imagine #dream x reader #dreamsmp #dream smp #dreamsmp imagine #dream smp imagine #ray writings #ray ray writings #ray-ray-writings #visiting hemlock #requested

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