#but i do know that neurotypical ppl can just...not hear things

[eats-the-stars]

my coworker consistently baffled by my ability to "either predict errors or create performance anxiety in the machines" because i will stop and look directly at a machine right before it malfunctions, and when she first pointed this out to me i was just like "huh. weird" and it's driving her crazy. i figured it out but i don't think i'll tell her yet because it's honestly really funny to watch her wrestle with this "impossible predictive ability" and i kinda wanna see if she can logic this out for herself. so far she's only really told me that she's ruled out anything visual, like spotting a tangle before it jams, because she saw me working at the table w/my back fully to a machine when i stopped and turned around and watched it thunk along a few seconds more before it jammed up. so i couldn't have seen anything...she's so close...you really just need to ask "what's the difference between me and the other ppl working the floor?"

Th difference is this: nearly everyone at my workplace wears something to listen to music while they work, or ear-plugs, because the machines are loud, but i don't, because I love the sound of the machines. and when u listen to something so often u can subconsciously tell when there is a subtle change, which often happens when the machine malfunctions. so i hear it a beat or so before the machine registers it, stops, and displays the error notice. which is when i step in an resolve it. the error message itself comes with a flashing light and a loud noise that everyone can see/hear, so ppl don't really need a keen ear. And apparently the sound of the machines constantly at work drives ppl a little crazy, but I passed that point a long time ago so it's just stand-in music for me now.

#work #machines #it's an unexpected bit of fun #i also wonder if my experience w/background noises is different because i'm autistic #like i hear everything all the time so i notice when there's a change that other ppl just don't register #like i could hear it when the fridge in our kitchen 'sounded different' before it needed some repairs #so i'm not even 100% sure that my coworkers would start being conditioned to respond to subtle noises like i am #even w/out blocking out the noise of the machines #they might like...mentally tune out the noise? not sure how to do that #but i do know that neurotypical ppl can just...not hear things #or something #like sorry but i can't just choose not to hear the fridge? it's literally in the same room as me #and it's making noise so... #i do have one coworker who consistently does not wear headphones or anything #because she is very chatty #but she's also a bit inattentive so i can't really use her as comparison

[butchdykekondraki]

Genuine question irt personality disorders vs things like ADHD, autism, DID, and schizophrenia(might be long so sorry). Anyone with a personality can be categorized into having a "personality disorder" yes, even if those traits are seen as "positive" and "unintrusive" to others. It's just a way to categorize someone's personality type so it's easier to break down and understand the patterns in ones behaviors. I'm AuDHD, and knowing this has helped me tremendously in being able identify my triggers or whatever and cope with them. But no amount of therapy will get rid of my sensory issues. I can just learn to cope better with them. People with like, NPD, CAN go to therapy and deconstruct their behaviors and work on growing from the ones they have that are harmful to themselves and others and that can essentially (for lack of a better word) "cured" with therapy. Things like narcissism aren't genetic. There are some studies showing a difference in grey matter in the brains of people with narcissism but this hasn't been studied deep enough to know whether it actually relates to the narcissism, or something else (like sociopathy or schizophrenia). Also, when it comes to narcissism(speaking about npd bc I have the most personal experience with this pd) usually, the neurotypical peak status quo, the epicenter of success, if a title given to a lot of narcissists. They're more likely to be successful in relationships, and careers, and socializing. It's the harmful behaviors that are criticized, but that is also seen as status quo. My audhd is biological. No amounts of therapy can change that biology, it can only make me better at coping with the symptoms. So I guess, my question is, if therapy can untangle and heal the personality disorder, and if the personality disorder is often gives the impression of a successful person, then how is it neurodivergent? I am one who sticks to my guns when I say "narcissistic abuse" because my mother is a narcissist. Only in the past few years has she been going to therapy, but even in that short amount of time, the things she did that were abusive to others and beneficial for her, she can now identify and deconstruct. She's not heartless because she is a narcissist. It's just a personality trait that's always benefited her. Her being taught and understanding her actions and thoughts and where they come from, has improved her relationship with herself and others tremendously and half the time, it seems like she doesn't even have npd anymore. I see a lot of these posts, and for me, it seems like it's coming from a narcissist, who's personality is very beneficial for them(aside from when they're called out for being abusive), and that they discourage nuanced conversations around this topic, as well as diverts the need to take personal responsibility for ones actions(which is an NPD trait). I understand now everyone has access to the right treatment, and I'm not here to say ppl with personality disorders are evil(there are many personality disorders that signify someone is too kind&compassionate as well) but it just seems there's more of a focus on trying to hide the difference between biological neurodivergence, and society/environment influenced personality patterns. I think doing this makes it so people can't actually find the resources they need and don't actually critique their actions and behaviors and just say "it's nothing I can change/improve" which isn't true. I can't change a lot of my biological symptoms, but I can improve my personality and perception and cope better in order to not hurt others or myself. I don't rlly know how to end this but the intent is good faith discussion. I would like to hear your input.

this got long whoops. mentions of "narc abuse" under cut 👍

short answer tho; npd is a complicated disorder and most research on it is HEAVILY biased by demonizations + "narc abuse" isnt a thing its just abuse + npd effects someones entire life therefore its neurodivergent + npd is literally a divergence in ur brain thats literally neurodivergent by definition lol

i'm personally medicated and in therapy for my npd and i can promise you whole-heartedly it's not a beneficial disorder.

i've had npd my entire life and it has never, EVER, benefited me. my npd has made me lose jobs, friends, and a large part of my social life because i believed myself to be better than them and then cut them out of my life.

i think a lot of people forget npd is primarily a trauma-induced personality disorder, one that comes from the fear of someone leaving you and/or the fear of having someone think they're better than you.

my npd is a both a side effect of other traumas i've experienced and a biological issue. it's not something that can ever fully leave me, and it's not something that i want, nor have benefited from having. npd is literally not something you can change, i know this for a fact because of my years of switching medications and therapists and psychologists.

npd has been heavily demonized in media, especially by people who have been abused and automatically claim it was "narcissistic abuse" when in reality all abuse is just that. abuse. there is no such thing as "narcissistic abuse" because it doesn't fucking exist.

yes, narcissism can lead to abuse. no, narcissistic abuse doesn't exist. it's just abuse. plain and simple. you don't call abuse by neurotypicals "neurotypical abuse", because it's a meaningless term that doesn't mean anything.

npd, in and of itself, is not a disorder that people primarily benefit from. the stories about people benefiting from it are from a very small group of people who do not speak for the majority of us.

npd is something that has affected my entire livelihood, and it will do that until the day i die. i have been labeled an abuser multiple times in my life for simply having it, because in the minds of most people the only thing "narcs" want is to hurt you to gain something. they can never pinpoint what "narcs" want though, because they're all getting angry at someone who doesn't exist. this kind of argument of "not all people with personality disorders are evil" paired with the agreeing of "narc abuse" existing is two things that cannot be true at the same time. "narc abuse" implies that all "narcs" are evil in and of themselves.

npd is neurodivergent because it is something that will forever effect someones life. npd effects everything from your perspective of people, to your perspective of self, to how you see the world around you. it's not an easy thing to live with. npd makes you think everyone is either out to get you, or less than you and therefore not worth your time. it takes a really long time for most pwnpd to warm up to people, and it did for me. it's hard to form friendships when your first reaction to someone is either that they hate you or that they're worse than you.

i dont know how to end this . anyway. narc abuse isnt fucking real its a demonizing term dont use it okay? okay. goodbye

#[jay] #jay empiresys jumpscare haiiiii #anyway. #look at my ramble do it now #OH SHIT I FORGOT TAGS WHOOPS. MY BAD GUYS #long post #narc abuse mention #abuse mention

[beyonceisstraight]

So I watched Wednesday and

1) ppl are loving her quirks and bluntness

2) ppl are rightfully pointing out autistic ppl are bullied for these same things

There’s an intersection here where neurotypical ppl enjoy both spectacle and being mean to ppl, which she does and is. And autistic ppl can be not nice to be around for others without that being their intention.

Let’s make one thing clear, Wednesday is a bit of an asshole but she has a strong sense of justice and it flows along what she personally believes vs what the world views as justice. The more I watched the more I thought god I wish I could behave the way she does sometimes bc my lens is similar but i don’t do this bc I’ve learned that you can’t just say anything to anyone. Its really only while on meds that I have a sorta functional filter. Bc without meds living is so taxing there’s no room for my brain through brain fog and spiraling to be filtered.

And the more I watched the more I realised, she’s not really a nice person but she’s also a 16 year old girl. Mortitia does say teenage girls can be mean and kinda, thats whats going on. She sees a man pouring a cup of drip coffee and says it loud enough that he can hear that ppl who drink drip hate themselves and have nothing going on in their lives. And he just stops and puts it down. That’s an awful way to be towards strangers and its also very 16 year old girl who thinks she’s better than others behaviour. If wednesday wasn’t an “outcast” but a blonde hottie type doing the exact same things ppl would actually genuinely hate her.

Here I want to present you with the sansa stark argument, because as I live and die i will defend sansa stark. My sansa stark argument is that when a teenage girl is written as what’s perceived as normal but with the addition of some social power by being pretty according to the beauty standard, people will hate her. They will hate her even if she’s 13 and being manipulated by adults well over 30 and accuse a 13 year old girl of having been able to stop a king from killing her father if she’d simply resisted the grown woman she looks up to manipulating her.

Children are ours to protect. End of.

But no one is hated more than the teenage girl, be she pretty, fat, short, tall, smart, dumb, promiscuous, prude etc. What is a teenage girl to the world but someone to hate who is also a porn category.

Wednesday is “emotionless”, cold, “logical” and ppl like that. The less of a human a woman is and the more that she embodies what patriarchy rewards the more ppl like her. Her assessment of Weems is deeply incorrect. Weems is doing her job. Weems covers the death of a student bc if she hadn’t all hell would reign down on Nevermore. She chose an evil. Weems also sees Wednesday for what she is. Impulsive, impatient, uncooperative if you’re not doing what she wants. I’m an adult well past 16 and if I came across a girl like Wednesday, and I have, I would simply not take her seriously in the least. Because it would just be me interacting with a teenage girl who will spit my flaws at me like I don’t know that already. Do you know what kind of behaviour that is? its disrespect. its rude. its just unpleasant to be around. I’m not this kid’s parent I’m just going to ignore her and go about my day.

Wednesday actually is extremely normal. Like I said I’ve met teenage girls like her. A lot of children behave exactly like she does. But the thing is children are emotional and more transparent. And children aren’t respected. In the real world there’s nothing exceptional about this girl beyond how she doesn’t flinch at darkness like killing or maiming anyone. In the real world that would land her in juvie. In the real world a girl like Wednesday would be actually scary and I don’t imagine you’d want to be around her. But also in real life I would feel deep concern about this girl. I’d want to know she was ok.

But ppl can’t see this character like a person because Teenage Girls are spectacles, hated unless redeemed through a patriarchal lens. Ppl love to hate a flawed teen girl character, like Korra. However we’re presented with Wednesday as though she’s ineffable.

The proof of a patriarchal lens is that even though Wednesday experiences her deepest development with WOMEN her love interest is a boy. She depends the most on WOMEN but the end of story love interest is a tim burton self insert (different argument) who has done fuck all besides get framed and run when Wednesday tells him to because the WOMEN handle the bad guy. This is the love interest and not the roomate who respect her boundaries and FIGHTS TO THE DEATH TO DEFEND HER. This girl is naked, bloody, only a coat on her shoulder but her only concern is Wednesday. She hugs Wednesday and is hugged in return. Bitch I cried. They have such a meaningful relationship. Bianca does more and shows up more as a better person than either boy who shows interest in Wednesday.

We were robbed of goth lesbian and rainbow lesbian. I liked the show, and the character and I love exploring the theme of teen girls in media bc well, someone has to show love to and defend these girls.

#wednesday

[extrahorribledynne]

if there’s one thing I’ve learned to loathe in interactions w neurotypical teachers/managers is when they go ‘ok well we’ve noticed you’re really struggling with a thing most ppl aren’t struggling with what can we do to understand what’s going on here’ and you explain ‘well, i feel xy and z’ and then they go ‘ok yeah but-‘

like ok there is clearly some secret thing you want to hear and I don’t know what that is so I’m just going to apologize and otherwise shut up and hope this resolved as fast as possible

[qweei]

mental illness isn't cute nor a fun quirk to have, and i'm saying that as someone who's mentally ill and is neurodivergent.

ofc i believe we shouldn't demonize mental illness and i know this idea of mental illness being cute only really applies to some disorders like depression, anxiety ocd etc. personality disorders get demonized to high hell and should be destigmatized but i personally don't have experience with that so i can't speak on that.

but i can talk about the disorders i do have and how hearing discussions around mental illness can really frustrate me. like there's two sides to this a) who see mental disorders that includes disabilities as something scary, shameful and should be hidden and type b) usually teenagers and young adults who bcs of the influx of representation and discussions around mental health know a lot more yet seem to get it in their mind that to be interesting you have to have some diagnosis? "omg i'm so ocd rn" "i can't focus i must have adhd"

as someone who went through type A for years when i transferred schools and was surrounded by type b people i believed it was a good thing like waaay better than before, same with the content i found on social media that were way more positive bcs to me that meant that i was no longer demonized or pushed aside which is great! but honestly it isn't as much of an improvement as i first thought.

though i will say before someone misunderstands me: i am not at all against learning about different mental disorders and self diagnosing. i definitely think our knowledge on mental health is improving due to more representation or people being more open, but i still want to acknowledge the side of people who misuse the new found attention and support use and do harm to the community, whether intentionally or not.

it's just that some type b people can sometimes be as harmful as type A from my experience. at that school i was constantly surrounded by these ppl and every single time someone talked about mental illness it was always in such a romanticized way, it became a funny adjective, every serious disorder was simply just a cute quirk?? i once overheard a real life conversation where ppl where assigning each other mental disorders the same way you talk about zodiac signs!? also certain people straight up trauma dumping to be funny without any prior warning or anything, i often got so uncomfortable i had to leave the room multiple times. something even more horrifying i was told was by my roommate who told me her autistic sister with tics who went to a different school, people in her school started to copy her tics to the point it became a trend in the entire school.

i've realized this problem especially when i'm with neurotypical ppl my age where every time i mention or its brought up that i'm neurodivergent, they always get the feeling that they need to match up with me??? if that makes sense. listen icantbelieveimsayingthis BUT there's nothing wrong with being neurotypical, not being mentally ill or having trauma... that doesn't make you boring or less interesting and honestly thinking it does really is a slap in the face of people who are neurodivergent and or mentally ill.

i'm so tired of discussions around mental health being so black and white all the time like either I'm treated like a abomination or I get infantilized/romanticized. it really fucking sucks

#neurodiversity #autism spectrum #mental disorder #mental illness

[humanransome-note]

Good things that happened today:

I rang up one of my favorite teachers from middle school, and she didn’t immediately recognize me. Weird to be excited about, but it’s one of the bits of the passage of time I actually enjoy, because it’s something I can’t consciously perceive.

Middle school was before I began questioning my gender, so while I did need to pull out the deadname, she smiled and said congrats then asked how I was doing.

A dude who works for an interior designer, came in to do a $150 return, fucking zooted out of his gourd, chipper as hell, talking to him helped me decompress a bit, I didn’t have to enunciate as harshly and it’s relaxing to vent about work and criticize rich people and their lack of tastes.

Man actually said, as he was pulling things out of his bags, “I know some of these things don’t have tags on them, so I can’t return them.” And bestie when I tell you I could’ve fucking sobbed in relief, that this man pulling a mid afternoon red eye with his fucking vape understood that there are limits to what I can and cannot do regarding returns, and that he even already had that argument with his boss earlier in the day, I am not exaggerating a single bit.

“Guess we’ll save ‘em for next year or somethin’.” And he shrugs like it’s not a big deal and it shouldn’t be but it is! Man taking some quick hits off his electric roach as the queer processing his returns tries to soak up as many good vibes as he scans these Halloween decorations a week after the fact. it was a moment.

Stupid shit that happened at work:

A long line, like at least a dozen ppl long, is what I returned from my lunch break to find. During my break someone just left a cart in the middle of the checkout area. And since this line is about 14 ppl long, after like two transactions, I ask a customer if there is anything in the cart, she says no. So, because the cart storage is literally a straight line from the checkout, like she could have aimed and shoved the cart from where she was standing, I asked if she wouldn’t mind pushing out this other cart with her as she was leaving.

She didn’t have to, she could’ve said no, and while I would’ve been thinking to myself “alright, that’s a bit rude, it’s right there.” I would’ve just said that was alright and maybe asked the next customer. But she does take the cart, and I say thank you, because it really is something that will improve my day and ease these next several transactions.

As she’s walking out I hear her say, “…Like I work here…” in the tone of “how dare he ask me to push this cart” and like, the couple after her in line heard her too, and they were a solid 10ft away in a busy checkout area with a busted alarm, it’s noisy. The first thing one of them said was literally “well that was rude” and I made a face before deciding I can agree with these people as they opened the door to the conversation.

“She could’ve said no, I would’ve been fine with that. Like if you’re gonna be rude do it to my face at least.”

And they both nodded along, “it’s a cart, it’s been here for awhile, and you’ve got a line.”

I just rolled my eyes, took a deep breath, and recentered myself.

Then later, once the line was dealt with, I remembered neurotypicals play passive aggressive mind games all the time, it’s their natural state, and what I was attempting to communicate as a genuine request, one that she could’ve said no to and we both would’ve gone on with our days, she likely interpreted as a demand…

Why do they live like that? It’s exhausting, isn’t it? It is for me anyway.

#wurds #mitchell’s arts and crafts

[transrightsjimin]

jungkook: *frowns or stares at a certain point, trying to focus on something, like a game or someone talking* *or he forgets what he wanted to say* *this makes a lot of sense*

annoying neurotypical army with 0 will to imagine people being different from them: 'WHAT IS HE DOING?? XD IS HE SEEING A GHOST?? REACHING A NEW DIMENSION IN HIS MIND??!! WHAT IS HE STARING AT, A GIRL? OH NO HES SCARED OF THOSE XD ARGHFH HE LOOKS SO SEXY WHEN FROWNING DAMN OK [inappropriate sexual comments] STEP ON ME!!'

#ppl who react like this r like 1 second away from making a fucking 'haha omg squirrel!!1' joke #rambles #like bangtans music nd characteristics is so clearly neither from neurotypical nor mentally healthy 7 sets of minds #my phrasing was poor but u get it #like taehyung might not smile nd ppl think hes angry and namjoon has dexterity or coordination or knowing his strength issues #nd that throws ppl off bc theyre smart but they cant imagine ppl being smart and struggling w some other unrelated things #jungkook focuses a lot on stuff and zones out a bunch just like tae and that doesnt make them not dumb nor a genius!! #focus isnt a constant thing tht everyone can do! #like regardless of how their brains r wired its just rly fucking annoying to see neurotypicals wildly misinterpret them in such rude ways! #like oh people must always smile and otherwise theyre angry? or if theyre frowning nd staring at nothing theyre either dumb or sexy? #its so frustrating like not to gatekeep but ppl who keep stereotyping the members (nd often in ableist nd fetishistic ways) need to be OUT #also just its annoying to see ppl talk like this abt the very things i relate to bangtan for #like ok nice to hear conformation its weird then :/// #dont mind me ranting at 1 am btw

[loveruns]

Can we like.................collectively drop the habit of replying to a genuine compliment with negativity please? Like I know it can be hard to love yourself and praise can make people feel awkward but I think it’s important to remember self hate/negativity does not equal humbleness and more often than not kinda puts the person complimenting you in an uncomfortable position when they were just trying to be nice.

I mean like, why bother going to the trouble of being like “oh nah I’m so ugly and my teeth are crooked, I hate them” when someone says you have a nice smile? Or “what?? lol no I’m actually a terrible person with an awful personality, you’ll see” when someone says you’re cool or fun to be around? Idk maybe I’m out of line with this but it just seems a hell of a lot easier on both parties to just say “thank you” and move on.

#idk it just bothers me when I hear people say things like that #it contributes nothing to the conversation like what are you expecting to happen #outside of the person scrambling to compliment you /more/ because you’ve put yourself down #just say thanks!!!!!!! #I know I used to do this but I’m aware how uncomfortable it can make ppl #txt #also if someone replies to this w ‘we can’t all be neurotypical Sharon’ or something I’m gonna scream

[lumberjackloverboy-moved]

care to share your thoughts and feelings on chara? I would love to hear them…

so all of my feelings on chara can be summed up in this tiktok:

jk jk I have more.

so i think part of the reason why i am so attached to them is that i played undertale for the first time when i was a 16 year old in high school with undiagnosed bipolar + pyschosis and saw a lot of myself in them.

when i see chara i see a child with serious problems that needs a loving family, not to be demonized. it's implied they self harm (it's been a few years since i played but the 'where are the knives/they hid the knives' comment comes to mind) and they literally kill themselves for what they see as the good of their family. a neurotypical child doesnt do that. they are implied to come from an abusive situation pre falling into the mountain, and their reaction to accidentally poisoning asgore struck me as a dissosiative trauma response. an abused child just accidentally really *really* badly hurt their protector, of course they are going to react strangely.

chara's behavior in the game is not theirs-- it's the players. it is made explicitly clear in the no mercy run that the ending is no one's fault but your own, and blaming chara is such a cop out. i really love the idea that chara is the narrator/flavor text and with you no matter what run it is, and they follow your actions, not the other way around. i just. fuck i love them,,,

also, with the whole 'demon' thing-- as a deeply mentally ill child that hallucinated and had paranoid and shit, seeing chara made me feel less evil and seeing them demonized really pissed me off. it made me feel like ppl were calling *me* a demon, ya know?

idk when i see chara i see a traumatized child from an abusive background struggling with sh who sees suicide as a way to help the only people who have only treated them kindly.

also, not to self promo, but in like 2016 i made a 8tracks playlist for chara and frisk (friends, not ship) and it still slaps

#undertale #self harm tw #suicide tw #abuse tw #injury tw #violence tw

[dirk-has-rabies]

Gender variance and it's link with neurodivergency

Okay so this is it going to be another long one

All quotes will be sourced with a link to the scientific journal I took it from

Okay Tumblr, let's talk gender (I know, your favorite topic) my preface on why this topic matters to me is: I'm autistic ( diagnosed moderate to severe autism) I'm nonbinary trans ( in a way that most non-autistic people don't understand and actually look down on)  and I went to college for gender study ( Mostly for intersex studies but a lot of my research was around non-binary and trans identities) I will be using the term autism as pants when I have experience with however when ADHD is part of the study I will use ND which stands for neurodivergent and yes this is going to be about xenogenders and neopronouns.

autism can affect gender the same way autism can affect literally every part of an identity. a big thing about having autism is the fact that it completely can change how you view personhood and time and object permanence and gender and literally all types of socially constructed ideas. let me also say hear that just because Society creates and enforces an idea does it mean that it doesn't exist to all people it just me that there is no nature law saying that it's real and the “rules” for these ideas can change and delete and create as time and Society evolves and changes.  gender is one of those constructs.

Now I'll take it by you reading this you know what transgender people are  (if you don't understand what a trans person is send me an ask and I'll type you up a pretty little essay lmao,  or Google it but that's a scary thought sense literally any Source or website can come up on Google including biased websites so be careful I guess LOL) anyway to be super basic trans people are anyone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at Birth (yes that includes non-binary people I could do a whole nother essay about that shit how y'all keep spreading trying to separate non-binary people from the trans umbrella)  some people don't like to use the label and that is totally fine by the way.

now autistic people to view the world in a way differently than allistic (neurotypical) ppl do.  we don't take everything people teach us at 100% fact and we tend to question everything and demand proof and evidence for things before we can set it as a fact in our brains. This leads to why a lot of autistic people are atheist (although a lot of religions and this is not bashing on religious people at all I am actually a Jewish convert)  this questioning leads to a lot of social constructs being ignored or not understood At All by a lot of autistic people and personally I think that's a good thing.  allistics take everything their parents and teachers and schools teach them as fact until someone else says something and then they pick which ones to believe. autistic people study and research and learn about a topic before forming an opinion and while this may lead to them studying and believing very biased material and spitting it out as fact it can also lead them to try and Discover it is real by themselves.

because of this autistic people are more question their gender or not fall in a binary way at all as the concept of gender makes no sense to a lot of us. “ if gender is a construct then autistic people who are less aware of social norms are less likely to develop a typical gender identity”

no really look: “ children and teens with autism spectrum disorder ASD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder ADHD  are much more likely to express a wish to be the opposite sex compared with their typical developing peers” That was posted in 2014. we have been saying this stuff forever but no one wants to listen. the thing is gender variance (being not cisgender or at least questioning it)  has always been closely hand-in-hand with autistic and ADHD people I'm even the doctor who did that study understood right away that it all made sense the whole time: “ Dr. Strang said they were initially surprised to find an overrepresentation of gender variance among children with ADHD. However, they later realized that prior studies have shown increased levels of disruptive behavior and other behavioral problems among young people with gender variance”  SEE YOURE NOT WEIRD YOURE JUST YOU AND YOURE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!

5% autistic people who did the study were trans or questioning. it was also equal between the Sexes fun fact. that may not seem like a lot till you realize that the national average is only .7% that's literally over 700% higher than the national average. That's so many! and that's just in America.

 in Holland there was a study in 2010 “ nearly 8% of the more than 200 Children and adolescents referred to a clinic for gender dysphoria also came up positive on a assessment for ASD” they weren't even testing for ADHD so the numbers could be even higher!

now I want to talk about a  certain section of the trans umbrella that a lot of autistic people fall under called the non-binary umbrella. non-binary means anything that isn't just male or just female. it is not one third gender and non-binary doesn't mean that you don't have a gender. just clearing that up since cis people keep spreading that. non-binary is an umbrella term for any of the infinite genders you could use or create. now this is where I'm going to lose a bunch of you and that's okay because you don't have to understand our brains or emotions To respect us as real people. not many allistics can understand how we see and think and relate to things and that's okay you don't have to understand everything but just reading about this could be so much closer to respecting us for Who We Are from you've ever been and that's better than being against us just for existing.

now you might have heard of my Mutual Lars who was harassed  by transmeds for using the term Autigender (I was going to link them but if it gets traction I don't want them to get any hate)  since a lot of people roll their eyes at that  and treated them disgustingly for using a term that 100% applied correctly.  Autigender  is described as " a neurogender which can only be understood in the context of being autistic or when one's autism greatly affects one's gender or how one experiences gender. Autigender is not autism as a gender, but rather is a gender that is so heavily influenced by autism that one's autism and one's experience of gender cannot be unlinked.” Now tell me that doesn't sound a lot like this entire essay I've been working on with full sources…..

xenogenders and neopronouns are a big argument point on whether or not people “believe” in non binary genders but a big part of those genders is that they originated from ND communities and are ways that we can try to describe what gender means us in a way that cis or even allistic trans people just can't comprehend or ever understand. Same with MOGAI genders or sexualities. A lot of these are created as a way to somehow describe an indescribable relationship with gender that is so personal you really cant explain it to anyone who isnt literally the same as you.

Even in studies done with trans autistic people a large amount of them dont even fall on a yes or no of having a gender at all and fall in some weird inbetween where you KINDA have a gender but its not a gender in the sense that others say it is but its also too much of a gender so say youre agender. And this is the kind of stuff that confuses allistic trans people and makes them think nonbinary genders are making stuff up for attention, which isnt true at all we just cant explain what it feels like to BE a trans autistic person to anyone who doesnt ALREADY know how it feels.

In this study out of the ppl questioned almost HALF of the autistic trans individuals had a “Sense of identity revolving around interests” meaning their gender and identity was more based off what they liked rather than boy or girl. That makes ppl with stuff like vampgender or pupgender make a lot more sense now doesnt it? We see that even in the study: “My sense of identity is fluid, just as my sense of gender is fluid […] The only constant identity that runs through my life as a thread is ‘dancer.’ This is more important to me than gender, name or any other identifying features… even more important than mother. I wouldn't admit that in the NT world as when I have, I have been corrected (after all Mother is supposed to be my primary identification, right?!) but I feel that I can admit that here. (Taylor)” and an agreement from another saying “Mine is Artist. Thank you, Taylor. (Jessie)” now dont you think if they grew up with terms like artistgender or dancergender they would just YOINK those up right away????

In fact “An absence of a sense of gender or being unsure of how their gender should “feel” was another common report” because as ive said before in this post AUTISTIC PEOPLE DONT SEE GENDER THE WAY ALLISTIC PEOPLE SEE IT. therefore we wont use the same terms or have the same identities nor could we explain it to anyone who doesnt already understand or question the same way! Participants even offered up quotes such as “As a child and even now, I don't ‘feel’ like a gender, I feel like myself and for the most part I am constantly trying to figure out what that means for me (Betty)” and also “I don't feel like a particular gender I'm not even sure what a gender should feel like (Helen)”

Now i know this isnt going to change everyones minds on this stuff but i can only hope that it at least helped people feel like theyre not broken and not alone in their feelings about this. You dont have to follow allistic rules. You dont have to stop searching inside for who you really wanna be. And you dont have to pick or choose terms forever because just as you grow and evolve so may your terms. Its okay to not know what or who you are and its okay to identify as nonhuman things or as your interests because what you love and what you do is a big part of who you are and shapes you everyday. Its not a bad thing! Just please everyone, treat ppl with respect and if you dont understand something that doesnt make it bad or wrong it just means its not for you. And thats okay.

#autism #actuallyautistic #trans #nonbinary #xenogenders #neopronouns #lgbtq #adhd #nuerodivergent #gender identity

[sophieinwonderland]

Different anon here: It’s honestly strange to hear this argument of a “neurotypical autistic person” as a parallel to a non-disorded system.

I’m someone who was coercively dx’ed with ASD and who has tags & words around this filtered on multiple platforms because I have to be in a certain headspace before engaging with discussion around autism (if I want to do that). I view autism as an inherently clinical term just from my experiences around it and randomly seeing people be positive about them being autistic can sometimes feel extremely unsafe - which I’ve seen is apparently somewhat similar to how some OSDD & DID systems feel towards non-disordered systems.

I know there’s also more to the parallel being drawn by the original anon than just that (like a common thing I’ve heard is feeling like is something isn’t disordered, folks won’t take you seriously anymore - but that’s the fault of society & the medical system, not random ppl around you - among other things), but managing your (general you) social interactions online so you feel safe is up to you. There’s a difference between blocking/filtering/muting things because you’re uncomfortable with it or don’t want to see it and going out of your way to harass people about how you feel. But there’s also nuance to that in itself on a public platform like tumblr because I know a fair amount of people realistically won’t do that, and you have a fair amount people treating the blogs of others like their own and/or assuming that all posts are directed at them personally, and I don’t know of a good solution for that (with syscourse, I’ve seen both anti-endogenic folks and pro-endogenic folks randomly give unsolicited advice to blogs about how they could effectively ‘better represent their community,’ and it feels like a violation of boundaries).

Maybe none of this is relevant, idk, but I felt like sending this.

Host:

It's a bit weird to me too for similar reasons. Unlike being plural or being a system, Autism is an actual diagnosis. I can completely see where you're coming from.

Unfortunately, there's no word for having autistic traits while being just outside the threshold for diagnosis.

I'm in a strange place as far as viewing my autism as a positive goes. Overall, it's a disorder that has had a serious negative impact on my life. However, if given a chance to change things and be born neurotypical, I wouldn't take it.

For all the bad that's come with this, every aspect of how I think is influenced by it in some way. It allowed me a unique perspective that I wouldn't have as a neurotypical person. Not to mention that I can't imagine Soph existing in a world where I wasn't who I am today... and I couldn't accept that.

I'm not proud, per se. But I am who I am and wouldn't want to change that.

I guess I'm in a spot where I can see why people would feel positive about being autistic even if I don't feel that way myself.

#ask box #host post #autism #autistic #actually autistic #syscourse

[doberbutts]

lvtsoulstice

Honestly pretty reassuring because I'm always worried about ppl thinking I'm trying to make a conversation all about myself when really I just want the other person to see me as relatable/empathetic

Yeah I see these like “when someone tells you they’re sad because their dog died, say things like ‘I can see why you feel that way’ and DON’T talk about how you felt when a similar thing happened to you”

And like. I get where that’s coming from. BUT speaking from personal experience if I said “man I’m really sad about Tiki today” to a friend and they responded with “I can see how that would make you sad”... it comes off as dismissive and uninterested to me. Honestly it would make me not want to pursue talking about it or really talking to that person for a while until I’m not feeling that. It feels like they’re just waiting for me to be over it so we can talk about something a lot more fun than my puppy dying.

Even a “god I know man, that’s so shit that it happened” is still... idk to me it still falls short of actual empathy and conversation.

Something like “I know it’s different but I get you, it really hurt when my dog died last year and I can’t imagine what your situation is like” for me is way better, it says you’re connecting to the feelings of grief and anger and sadness while not treating it with therapist speak (which ALWAYS grates on meeeeeeeee probably from my years in behavioral therapy it just sounds cold and clinical and not how friends connect YOU KNOW?) and you’re very clearly not trying to like... one-up the trauma or fill it with false positivity.

So every time I see that as a suggestion for neurodivergent people to connect to neurotypical people (or to connect to neurodivergent people who don’t empathize like that) it’s always like a kneejerk response from me of “if a friend did that to me I would feel really hurt that they didn’t seem to actually care to the point that they’re giving a canned or closed response to my pain”.

~just ADD things~

And I get that not everyone would appreciate the response I personally prefer but it just seems like there’s so much emphasis on “THIS IS THE CORRECT WAY TO EMPATHIZE WITH PEOPLE” that it ignores those who would really react negatively to the “correct” way to do things. I’ve had enough people tell me that the way my brain works is wrong, I don’t need to hear it when I’m already torn open by grief and trauma.

#tbh the only time it doesn't hurt is when I know it's part of that person's personality to do that #I have a couple friends who DO respond to things like that #but that's to everything! and they prefer if I respond in the same manner when they tell me personal stuff! #and most make the effort to *try* to empathize with me the way I prefer #because they know that people like me prefer that method way more #your friends don't need to 100% match you in fact it's better if they don't #but part of friendship is mutual respect and care #so even if something pokes at you a bit if it makes your friend feel better when they're down then do it #type of thing

[gaymerborealis]

hi! just seen your response and i'm glad to hear you're open to ideas. i don't know if you would consider this a neurodiversity or just mental illness, but I have Borderline Personality Disorder as well and there's some traits out there for it but they usually end up encapsulating all the negative sides of the illness but none of the other more neutral features of it, if that makes sense. something i'd love to see is a "Favorite Person" feature, perhaps a relationship bit, as ppl with BPD tend to have one person at a time they're more inclined to socialize with. i think this could be an autistic thing as well, but i have both so i never know lol. if that's something that would be possible and you'd wanna include, i think it could be neat! hope you're doing well & take care of yourself :)

I can def add a trait like that! Sounds like it may be fairly simple to implement too.

And also no worries, I've actually thought about including things like borderline, bipolar, schizophrenia and so on because the general sentiment I've heard from those communities is that they tend to fall under both the neurotype and illness categories so I think they would fit in my mod, but since I don't have any of them myself I wouldn't have the slightest clue how to do it or what traits to add, and how to do it right so any suggestions and help here is much appreciated!

Honestly the only thing that I'm staying away from, at least for now, is more purely illness-type stuff, so no depression, ptsd, self-harm and other heavier things. But other than that I'm up for anything really.

And thank you for the well wishes, hope you have good day too ^n^

[littlebabycrybtch]

anyways, autistic adult here going out to all the autism parents out there;;; stop fucking bragging about abusing your autistic kids. i lived through my autistic childhood, you havent, you need to hear me out. stop posting your horrible ‘inspirational stories’ about how happy you are that you ‘pushed through’ and did something awful and distressing to your child in an effort to make them normal. it is so harmful and so disgusting for autistic people to have to hear about. those stories make me wanna gag. they give me physical discomfort, the way these people are so... Proud of themselves, for thinking they are ‘eradicating’ these evil autism symptoms, like the symptoms arent just an inherent fucking PART of their child they destroyed out of blind ignorant ‘care’. fucking listen to yourself. you did not help them. i dont care that they learned some new (usually unnecessary and performative) neurotypical skill you had been pushing on them for years. i dont care how fuzzy inside that makes you feel. i dont care about whatever you come up with that proves their ‘progress’. no. you were projecting your frustrations. you were pressuring them into smth they didnt need. you didnt Fucking help them. you made them Conform. you Hurt them to make them act like everyone else, bc you let yourself become that convinced that their autism is whats damaging them, and not the outside world that tries to dismantle what they are on the daily, for no fucking REASON besides irrationally projecting your own standards and ideals onto them. the ‘cure’ for autism is not ‘acting normal’, for gods sake. you Punished them for being autistic instead of accepting it and accommodating them. frankly, no matter your real intention, its selfish.

like. im sorry but im livid, i am TIRED of seeing this kind of shit encouraged everywhere. forcing your kid into meltdowns unless it is a 110% safety concern, is abuse and disability discrimination, especially when you are trying to force them to be ‘normal’ by punishing them in these awful prejudiced ways until they meet YOUR idealized standards of functioning and ‘quality of life’, which is self centered for gods sake! like! nah man actually im totally fine with some of my symptoms if you people would just leave me the fuck alone about it??? i like stimming, i like special interests, my ‘sensory issues’ can become blissful when i find the right sensory experience, my struggle to communicate has given me so many beautiful Alternatives and connected me with so many people. im fucking fine, i dont always need to bend to you, you can bend to me sometimes, okay? like. smh, neurotypicals/abled people, society revolves around you, sure, but that doesnt mean someone being Different from you makes them the wrong or unhealthy one... they can be Perfectly happy even though they dont live the way you do, and to think otherwise is again, just really self centered. why are you the default? why is YOUR HAPPINESS with YOUR LIFE the default standard??? someone being different from you doesnt always mean their existence automatically Pains them, or that its Lesser or Worse. accommodation and understanding does a hell of a lot better for somebody than trying to just force them to act how you do under the ignorant assumption that it Must be inherently better for them and their existence. “but- things would be easier for them if they were normal right! thats just how the world is!” cool. but they arent. listen to me. They Arent. just fucking accept that, and focus on fixing the obviously bigger issue, the whole ‘WORLD’ part that rejects everything abnormal, jesus christ. like honestly, thats the worst part about being ‘abnormal’, how the outside world fucking treats you. its how they wont fucking let you exist and wont get off their ass to try and understand or support you, without conditions that include ‘copy me as best as you can so its easier for me’. the worst part is that the people who ‘support’ you view that support as wittling you into something less difficult for them to ‘help’ at the expense of your fucking basic comforts or happiness, and they still think theyre doing you a noble favor by making you like themselves. ffs. guys. stop abusing your kids. stop.

“well guys, my autistic kid wouldnt stop pissing themselves so i just stopped buying diapers and made them sit on the toilet for 6 hours, and guess what, they use the toilet the Right way now! :)” “my kid wouldnt hug me or say i love you, so i held them down on the bed till they stopped fighting my affection! now we hug all the time!” “i took away my childs favorite item until they were able to verbally ask for it back. now they know how to say “please”. they must be SO much happier!” i need for you to listen to me right now. you are not fixing them. you are not HELPING THEM. you are breaking them into your neurotypical life like a pair of fucking tennis shoes. its for you. you are conditioning them, with trauma. the fact that you dont see that is a Disturbing display of how little you actually are trying to understand about your child’s life, or frankly anybody elses experiences besides yours. Leave them the fuck alone. you really wanna help your autistic kid fit into the world? dont punish them for stimming, tell ppl in public to stop fucking staring, bc it is their fucking problem. dont force your type of affection or communication, pay some fuckin attention and you’ll start noticing the ways in which THEY communicate with you, which is just as fine. and for the love of god my dude! buy diapers! they exist for a reason! just buy your fucking child their fucking diapers. ill kick your ass oh my God, 

#tw ableism/ / / #actuallyautistic #autism moms #autism parenting #tw unsanitary ment/ // / #tw abuse ment/ //

[of-faunsandyellowflowers]

Tw: long fucking post.

Sorry to keep bringing up autism but

Man..... and you dont have to read this. That's fine. I dont have anyone in my life to talk to about this so, tumblr is my space to vent 🤷‍♀️

I know I've lived with this since I was a kid, but just reading more, learning more....I finally understand why I do things the way I do. Newly diagnosed autism reaaallllyyyy was like an aha moment for me lol. And it's not just my PTSD, anxiety or anything like that...its just how my brain is. I'm starting to realize when stuff happens and why....

Yesterday, I was doing ok. I went to the store (I have a routine of going nearly at the exact same time every day) because I needed some groceries. Some days I have to have headphones because of loud noise. I hate going into regular check out lanes cuz I dont like when ppl ask me stuff. I freeze. Sometimes I'll make an odd comment that the cashier will just find odd.

Anyway, I got home and all of a sudden everything was just brighter than it usually is, louder than it usually is and nothing could block it out. I was really itchy, and could barely move. I've already got a hard time even attempting to tune shit out, I HEAR everything, SMELL everything....etc. But, when you get into meltdown mode....everything is worse.

Then I couldn't talk. My dad kept saying something to me, and I tried to open my mouth to speak but I couldnt. I put my headphones on because if I have music playing normally I can somewhat calm down and cant hear anything else but that...and it's nice to only hear one thing. This happens so often and what I once thought was just a panic attack....its not. My panic attacks arent like that.

I went upstairs....and that's when my normal 'coping' kicked in. I've just learned that my habits of 'comfort' are in fact stimming.

The things I tend to do mostly without noticing I'm doing it, some more so with meltdowns:

Blink rapidly

Twitch my nose rapidly

Move my foot up and down like I'm rocking my knee

Pick out my hair in search for these little curly hairs that grow on my head obsessively

Feel the softness of my foot from my other foot and repeatedly petting my foot with my other foot

Pet soft things

Pace. Alot.

Sway. Rock back and forth. Especially in lines.

Color by number books.....I get obsessed over them

Twiddle my thumbs, fingers,

Obsessively scratch parts of my skin

Staring, especially at walls while rocking

Biting the skin around my fingernails, or clipping the skin with fingernail clippers

Repeatedly cussing or speaking to myself

Whistle

I remember as a kid, doing all these things, in response to too much stimulation, or change in things.

I CONSTANTLY had meltdowns, shutdowns, and full on rage as a kid and would have meltdowns often. I dont have them as much now...but they are there.

Shut downs after really any social exchange for longer than a certain amount of time. I can no longer speak even if I tried.

Refusal to eat certain foods because the texture was bad, and eating the same foods over and over again, every day for months.

Loud abrupt noises????? I think the fuck NOT

Being touched. At all. Especially without my permission. I hate hugs.

Having attachments to more animals than ppl, and learning about said animals to an 'obssessive' degree.

Cant wear clothes with tags, or things that arent soft because my skin is so sensitive and it's too much (that's also to do with my fibromyalgia but it's just gotten worse since fibro)

I like to call my brain the monkey brain. It never fucking shuts up. Ever. It just swings from one thought to the next.

Do you ever go to work and actively dont go to the parties or speak to anyone st work because you know if you do you'll spout out something that no one really needed to hear? I stay away from people in life because of that. Or because they will be too loud, and I'd rather just go home and read.

Telling people things they had no desire to learn and being blunt about it is a specialty of mine that I dont seem to realize upsets ppl until they actively tell me they are upset.

Not being able to know what someones feeling unless I empathetically tune into it

Cracking jokes at inappropriate times. Laughing at inappropriate times.

Always noticing details of things and making analysis of why those things are there and trying to understand the context of it

Seeing patterns in EVERYTHING.

thinking any human on the planet who is nice to me MUST like me more than friends because that's what ppl do when they like you from what I was taught

Terrible at body language, many facial expressions, cant grasp any hints on someones intentions unless they tell me

Being told I have RBF because I dont show a lot of emotions

Told I'm extra sensitive and weird ALL the time.

Cant keep a lot of friends for too long because they find me weird

The only thing I know how to talk about is myself, or things that I'm interested in/anger me/make me feel a certain way. I also cant relate to experiences unless I myself have had it happen...

Forgetting things all the god damn time and not knowing where to put things because if I put something somewhere I'll 1. Forget about it and 2. It's not in the right 'spot' and needs to be 'perfect'. I'm a disorganized mess and if anyone helps me I freak out because I dont eant my things touched, everything has to be done a certain way.

Special interests that I'm so obsessed with....like baking, archeology, history...

I know I'm forgetting more things....just learning that this is me. This is my life, this is how I've always thought, and that's ok.

I may be the sensitive, weird, over the top person that no one 'understands'..but this is me.

I'm autistic, and that's what makes me special in a neurotypical world.

#actuallyautistic #autism #autistic #vent post #neurodiverse #stimming #actually autistic #sensory overload #spectrum #tactile stimming #audio stimming #visual stimming #movement stimming

[crowned-ladybug]

So I'm relatively new to the jojo fandom but!! I've come across quite a bunch of your stuff on tumblr and I just wanna say that 1. I love your work!! and 2. You've intrigued me so much with your ADHD Joseph headcanons and I would LOVE to hear more! If there's any headcanons you haven't talked about much yet, here's your excuse to talk about them! I'd read a whole book on it tbh. Your posts abt it make me really happy and I'm looking forward to more ahhh :>

The JoJo fandom is scary as hell, pls take care D:

Anyway, thank you!!! So much, you're so sweet

Aaaaa you give me free reign to talk about my hcs and suddenly I feel like such a fuckin neurotypical, what even Is an ADHD. At this point I'm honestly not entirely sure what I've already talked about on here, what I've written or referenced in fics, what I have in the fic I'm currently writing - it's a mess

So, uhh. Have some assorted random hcs I found lying around in my head?? Hopefully none of them are big repeats D: I couldn't come up with anything longer and coherent in all the time I've spent sitting on answering this

He has a weighted blanket back at home which he Loves but when he can't have that, he either piles every blanket he can find on top of himself (cue him waking up all gross and sweaty the next morning from sleeping under four damn blankets) or coaxes Caesar into cuddling with him and lying on him which, to be fair, doesn't tend to take a lot of convincing. They're both like the only ppl ever who can propely take the other's Forceful Cuddling in general so it works out. Hamon training apparently has the great side effect of knowing how to not suffocate when your bf lies on you

Evening routine on the Island always involves everyone who trained that day going to shower Before Dinner bc no one gets to sit at the table all gross and sweaty. Works out v well for Joseph bc the moment he's not Actively Doing Shit he feels gross as fuck after getting all sweaty and it's sensory Hell. Esp if his hair got flat/stuck to his skin, he'd rather scratch his own face off than deal with That

Until he learns to read Lisa Lisa well, she sadly manages to tick off his RSD a lot bc she's v sparing with praise and never looks like she means it (or, well, her signs are v subtle) so Joseph lowkey feels like he's constantly being regarded as a disappointment. (Even when Caesar and Suzi tell him that That's Not It. Then he learns to recognise like One Positive Thing from Lisa Lisa after Caesar points it out to him and he proceeds to overdo everything trying to get that reaction Again, until his friends have to once again reign him in and tell him to Chill bc he's gonna end up hurting himself)

god I honestly don't know if this lines up with canon at all?? Bc guess what I never watched this far bc I got Sad. But my Idea of the Joestar Residence back in New York is a Fancy Big House and it absolutely has like. a small library or a study or two or idk. Some room that's quiet and kind of a sacred magical place when you're a kid and it smells of books. It's Joseph's like. Sensory Safe Spot when something overwhelms him so much even his own room isn't good enough

His two biggest hyperfixations I've got pinned down rn are comic books and motor bikes. Can ramble about either for hours ofc and he learned how to fix/augment his own bike mostly through reading a shitton and then trial-and-erroring his way through it

I Have to have mentioned this before but he paints his nails not just bc it's fun and pretty but also bc he loves how smooth it makes his nails feel and he loves rubbing his thumb over them. If someone else he's used to being close with has their nails painted (like Suzi or Caesar) he'll constantly seek out holding/messing with their hand too just to thumb at their nails

Focuses So Much Better if he's not alone. The other person/people don't even have to be doing the same thing as him, he just Needs People Around Him just Doing Their Thing without being too loud/distracting

#thank you again!!!! #for the ask in general and also for your words <3 #headcanons #jjba #joseph joestar #caesar zeppeli #suzi quatro #lisa lisa #caejose #adhd joseph #some of this def is in my current wip #but like. who knows if/when thatll ever see the light of day #bc ive been writing so slow lately #Anonymous #ask