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swoosbadfuture · 28 days

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ian mckinley (FD3) is autistic here's why

i orginally wrote this for twitter for autism awareness day but my friend said to post it on tumblr so . throws this to the masses no particular order im kinda just rambling . i have autism myself a lot of this will be relating to My personal exprience being autistic and why Ian sticks out to me and is a character I feel seen by :) -- Ian seems to have low empathy for others. Not that he doesn't care - he very much does and I will get to that too - but rather he struggles to relate to people on an emotional level prefering to use logic instead of emotion. Hell his first line in the movie is he alongside Erin trying to reassure Wendy that she'll be fine on the rollercoaster.

Though unlike Jason, their approach is more logic and reason based. Using facts and logic to communicate their point > saying something like "hey, it's okay to feel scared, but you'll be fine". And like many autistic people including myself who do this it's kinda regarded as him being rude/a smartass by those around him. When his intentions were entirely the opposite and he was actually just trying to be helpful.

Something personally I relate to a lot. I've been told countless times that I "don't need to be a smartass" when just trying to use logic to deflate a problem because, to me, it makes more sense than being emotional about it.

Ian trying to find logic in things is shown again in the scene where Wendy and Kevin come to warn he and Erin about death's design. Ian is completely opposed to the idea that death could possibly be a thinking or feeling entity. Again he isn't trying to be a smartass or be sassy about it, just trying to work out what the fuck Wendy and Kevin are on about because to him? It makes no logical sense.

He's very rooted in his beliefs and even when he choses to humour Wendy and Kevin he still takes a logical approach and tries to make sense of it in a way that makes sense to him. Even coming up with a solution that would seem most logical.

And yet again, he's treated like a bit of an asshole for it. It's not like he grabbed Wendy and shook her and told her to die no he just accepts this. He might have low empathy but he's still understanding.

Ian actually seems to care a lot about people. Especially Erin, who he's closest to in the movie, but this care extends even to Ashley and Ashlyn. Who he very likely wasn't friends with judging by how he and Erin laugh at them when they try to invite Wendy to the tanning salon.

But he cares, still, and has a very strong sense of justice. His interruption at the funeral is a prime example of this. You can see him dwelling on it for a moment before he speaks. He's not speaking up because he wants the attention, he's not trying to cause drama, he's just upset. Because to him, even as people who he wasn't close with, Ashley and Ashlyn's deaths were unfair and the fact that someone is trying to suggest otherwise just set him off.

If he was doing it for attention or to cause drama he would've put up more of a fight when Kevin and Lewis got him to leave. But he doesn't. He's probably pretty aware that what he did was wrong but the need to speak up outweighed that in the moment. Something again that I can relate to heavily. If something is unfair you will know about it. And people with autism often have strong senses of justice.

Ian also has very few people he's close with. Erin being his closest friend possibly even Only. Hence why her death impacted him as much as he did. He may not have been Wendy's best friend or anything but he did trust her and get along with her. So when Erin dies - a death that only occurs because Wendy interrupted his death causing it to skip to Erin - it feels like a betrayal. An injustice against someone he cared deeply about.

And that feeling of betrayal coupled with the fact Erin died so awfully is what drives him to act so irrationally.

His whole thing at the tricentennial was almost like a meltdown or at the very least an all-reason-out-the-window moment and god as someone who's autistic and frequently misunderstood by people / misunderstanding people leading to moments of severe anger and lashing out... i get it man i get you Ian.

Think. Erin died horribly less than 24 hours ago. It's fresh in his mind. He's focused so so heavily on Wendy being there, thinking about how unfair it is. Wondering "Why could Wendy save me but not Erin?". He's acting irrationally, he isn't thinking. Hell he sounds like he's on the verge of crying. And again I get it I GET that. When I feel something wrong has been done to me / someone I love I tend to fixate on that person and place blame onto them and act very irrationally about it.

Lastly I'm also 99% sure Ian never makes direct eye contact with anyone in this movie for longer than 5 seconds. So.

He's just a bit silly and him being autistic means a lot 2 me. end of thread . god hes just like me for real.

#autism awareness day #final destination #final destination 3 #ian mckinley #ian final destination #literally THE autistic character #the autistic rep I needed #hes so silly #horror movies

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buttermynutter · 2 years

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One Size Fits All | Viktor x Reader

Part of the Back of the Class one-shot collection! Summary: A particularly chilly day with only one coat to spare leads to some creative solutions. Word count: 867 Warnings: None

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The wind was whistling at each turn, the leaves prancing with it carrying autumn colors to every corner of the academy.

"And I hate it all," you mumbled to yourself, clutching your bookbag closer to your chest.

Shivering, you hurried your way through the courtyard to the next class, wondering if this was the closest you'd get to expriencing conditions of the Freljord. You couldn't even begin to believe that it wasn't winter yet, and it chilled you to the bone in more ways than one when thinking of the weather that was to come.

Once you made it into the classroom, you immediately sighed in relief so strongly it might as well have been another gust of wind, warranting a raised eyebrow from Viktor across the room. You simply waved at him and he returned the gesture with a small chuckle before the professor swept down the aisle and plopped a large stack of papers on each of your desks, suddenly making you wish that you were back outside in the open.

The class itself was a blur, a frenzy of notes and droning lectures that made you question how intriguing Piltover really was, though the only future you were concerned about at the moment was one without pneumonia.

As it was time to step outside you wanted to do nothing except cling to the door, but the frigid blast of air coaxed you into the outdoor hallway, where you stood waiting for Viktor.

"What made you come to class without a coat?" you heard as soon as his figure popped out of the entryway, his grim expression revealing that he wasn't exempt from the misery either.

"It was still sunny in the morning. Besides, you have one and you're obviously not doing so well yourself," you snapped, watching his expression contort to make a face at you through the fog of your breath. "You're shivering so much I'm surprised I can't hear your brain rattle around your skull."

The grin he flashed warmed you every so slightly internally, saying, "We have Heimerdinger next, I bet you're excited for that."

You groaned at the thought of trekking the span of half a dozen buildings to the labs, vigorously rubbing your hands together.

"Why is the Academy District solely separated buildings? Would it have killed them to build hallways between them?"

"I"m not sure," Viktor said, shrugging. "But it might kill us that they didn't. Come on, we wouldn't want to be late."

"At the expense of frostbite," you grumbled, begrudgingly following his steps as he pulled you along by the hand, though it felt more like you were holding onto an icicle.

The two of you barely made it to the first building ahead before he shouted over the wind, "Your teeth are chattering so loud I can barely hear myself think."

"You can hear yourself think?" you yelled back, swatting a few stray leaves away from your body.

His eyeroll was practically audible as he stopped, causing you to reel for a moment once he let go of your hand.

There was only a moment of confusion before he started to remove his coat, your immediate understanding pushing you to prod him on the shoulder, shaking your head. He nodded his in return so insistently it was like watching his head bob up and down on a spring, distracting you slightly as he pushed it towards you.

With an eyebrow raised you crossed your arms before he leaned forward to speak above the wind, his lips brushing against your ear.

"Take it, you've gone the whole day without one!"

"What difference does that make? You said so yourself, it's my fault for bringing one, and I can get a coat once we finish with Heimerdinger."

"Fine," he exclaimed offhandedly, tugging one sleeve back on.

You were just about to acknowledge your victory before you noticed the sly look on his face, a thought emerging that maybe you hadn't convinced him.

Your suspicions were confirmed as he pulled you towards him by the waist, yanking you to his side.

"Put on the other sleeve!"

"What?" you sputtered, though you instinctively wrapped your arm around his hip.

"We can wear it as two people, not to mention body heat," he insisted, holding the other side of the coat behind you.

Although Viktor was grinning, you didn't detect even a shadow of a joking tone, so you sidled into the empty sleeve, secretly relieved for the extra layer.

"Comfortable?" he yelled, your bodies melding into each other like two pieces of a puzzle.

"More than before," you admitted with a small smile which he seemed to notice as his grew wider, motioning for you to continue walking.

"Thank you, I'm glad it's your heat I'm sharing," he said after a minute or two, hugging you closer.

You glared at him but replied, "I should be thanking you, as much as your wording needs work."

As you made your way across the campus, one foot in front of the other three — but not without the occassional stumble, though the following blush only warmed you up — you couldn't help but be a bit grateful for the weather and its opportunities.

#arcane #arcane fic #arcane fanfic #arcane netflix #viktor #viktor arcane #viktor the machine herald #viktor x reader #viktor/reader #viktor x you #arcane viktor x you #viktor/you #league of legends #league of legends arcane #league of legends x reader #arcane league of legends #league of legends x you #league of legends/reader #league of legends/you

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neonstatic · 7 months

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my given name and i have an interesting relationship. well, first off, i don't like. i dislike it, even. there's no doubt abt that. i've disliked it long before i understood i was nonbinary. it's just not a good name to me. i don't like the way it feels and tastes in my mouth. i don't like how it sounds out of people's mouths. no one has ever managed to say it in a way that makes it sound appealing. it's not a name you can sigh dreamily nor moan erotically. i mean, you can try, but however good you might sound, I'll be too distracted by the name itself. (i think i've learned to speak so delicately bc i've subconsciously wanted to sell my name as best as possible. yes, that is my name, it does kinda suck, but don't i say it so nicely?)

compare this to my sisters' names. they have sweet, feminine names that end in the letter a, and if you put all their names next to each other, you notice a certain motif. they just fit like a bouquet.

i feel like you can tell from my name alone that i'm the last child; they were running out of fkg ideas to follow the motif, so much so that they entirely dropped it! they couldn't even make my name end in an a!

i've never liked my name, always felt a little ashamed when meeting ppl bc i knew i'd have to introduce myself and see the split-second look in their eyes when they process and register (with difficulty) my painfully geriatric yet forgettable name. and it sounds so, so much worse in english.

egg or chicken? i think my name might've made me trans -- no, pls, let me elaborate: my name sounds like a typical old name, but spelled differently and thus pronounced differently, with none of the elegance and not even an a at the end. "oh, ray, why are you so obsessed w the a at the end?" bc i grew up surrounded by girls with pretty names that ends in a! and i was a little "girl" w an unpretty name that did not end in a! i legit had a complex abt that jabfjab everyone is aisha and christina and sarah and mona and then you got this mf whose name reminds you of a four-eyed mole in a tutu.

(in middle school, we had to write a story, and i named my protagonist, a 12yo girl, wayne. "that's not a girl's name," my teacher told me. "yes, it is." i said. and that was that.)

(i named that little girl after my favourite rapper at the time... y'all figure it out ✌🏾)

i've wanted to change my name long before i understood my gender. i had the spare thought that one day, maybe, i'd grow into it. i didn't like having and showing tits until literally two years ago. i think the chest tat helped. (frankly, most days i still don't. moving boobily is humiliating esp when you're a fast walker.) i've yet to grow into my given name. don't think i ever will. i rly dislike it. i'm no longer used to it either. i've changed my name at work and made so many new friends who know me as ray, and even my closest friends call me ray most of the time (or juno if they feel a lil frisky). and now i feel good introducing myself.

not only that, but i also experience ppl having fun w my name! nothing big, rly, but i do not have enough fingers to count the amount of ppl who make analogies abt the sun, the stars, or light in general. it's mostly silliness, i know, but i can't help feeling like others see that my name makes sense for me too. ray is a name that fits me. and i love it! yes, everyone does the "ray of sunshine" thing but it never gets old! never, do you hear me?! it's the best thing in the world to me!!!

(still, there are two things i like abt my given name... first, it's a callback to my parents' names. my dad also has a very interesting name but i'd rather have his than mine. another name better exprienced in french. second, my mom and i share a nickname. i found out when i was a teen and a relative called out my family nickname (or, well, one of two), only for my mom to respond. i love love love nicknames, bc that is what made me discover my chosen name. and i love that my mom and i share a nickname. it feels sentimental to me. idk how to explain it. i esp love when we use it for each other in casual. it's fun and lovely.)

#ray says

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hotvampireadjacent · 2 years

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I think you’re very cool and I admire you for moving to Mexico and trying something new even if it didn’t go well, and I think it’s cool that despite everything you’re still out there, doing good for yourself where you can. Also you make fgo seem fun even though I’ve tried it and I know I don’t like it. This is out of the blue for sure but I’ve been thinking about it for a while and waiting for you to turn anon again lol

oh dw it's totally fine! Yeah i got a lot of postive expriences from it. And I kept up with learning spanish so I'm fluent enough to list it as a third language. I hung out w my aunt and uncle in tuxla i rarely see. it was good in the long term for me.

fgo isn't for everyone i'm only this obessed bc i love the original vn.

edit: tee hee I speak and read japanese too so i’m trilingual now

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phdmama · 3 years

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like do you think its wrong to have prefences for top/bottom?

Hey, anon (the “you” I’m speaking to here is a general one).

So I want to be really, really clear that having preferences is not bad or wrong or anything. Of course people do! That’s a human thing. I like peppermint stick ice cream and not maple walnut. I like cool colors and not warm colors. I like angst and not fluff. I like snarky banter (when done well) and not mpreg. Like, it’s fine to like what you like! I don’t even need a reason to justify those things, I just do. That I don’t personally have a preference in top/bottom when reading or writing fic is just me. It’s not a moral judgment on what other people like.

But, it’s my job, my responsibility, as a person in the world, to curate my own exprience. If I go out seeking properly tagged mpreg fics and read something I don’t like or that upsets me, well, who’s fault is that, really? It’s opt-in. I really think seeking out content you know is upsetting to you is self-harm.

(I’ve got a whole rant here about getting triggered by untagged stuff, but I think it’s off-topic.)

One place strong preference becomes an issue, of course, is when people go around sending authors death threats in comments or DMs. Or even just horrible mean comments. That’s not only not okay, it’s a huge sign that if you are doing that, you need some help (IMO as someone who literally has a license that I think allows me to make that statement).

Also, I think it’s worth looking at why, if you do feel so strongly about who tops and who bottoms that you’re sending people death threats or hate, what is driving those beliefs?

First, what is so threatening about a characterization that’s different from yours that it’s driving you to this behavior? People write characterizations I don’t like all the time, and when it clicks that I don’t like what I’m reading? I nope out and go along my way.

Second, a lot of the discourse I’ve seen about why people prefer particular top/bottom characterizations is rooted in really misogynistic and homophobic belief structures, which are worth unpacking and confronting, IMO.

Note: I think it’s impossible to grow up in these intersecting systems of oppressive power and not internalize them, but we need to do the work to understand and change our thinking.

People are wilding nuanced and diverse, anon, especially in the realm of human sexuality, and if I’ve learned anything in my time on this earth, it’s that if you can imagine it, someone's getting off to it. And that’s not because of gay or straight, male or female, AFAB or AMAB, or anything. That’s just people being horny.

tl:dr Like what you like. Get off to what you want to get off to. Safe, sane, and consensual. Don’t seek out and immerse yourself in content you hate, that’s not good for you. And don’t send hate and death threats because you didn’t like a particular characterization or dynamic in a fic.

In fact, if you feel that strongly, writing the fucking you wish to read in the world. I guarantee you someone else will be into it too.

#top bottom discourse #Anonymous

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yandere-daydreams · 4 years

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OMG REQUESTS ARE OPEN LETS SEE More Finn?The Cat boy? Please? I grovel before you. And question. How do you come up with your ideas? You write as if you exprienced it before..... As the yandere or the darling i do not know. Also Hi PG!

I don’t come up with ideas. I see the words ‘cat boy’ and do what feels natural, usually in the format of a few hundred words. Thinking is for the weak and creativity is a concept manufactured by capitalists. I refuse to indulge it.

Title: Commitment Issues.

TW: Implied Abandonment and Past Trauma.

This would be the third time you had to buy a new set of glassware.

It was Finn’s favorite hobby, as of late. If you had a normal cat, you could be more diligent about where you kept your dishes, or buy a few locks for your more valued possessions, but any Hybrid was smart enough to check inside a drawer and loud enough to complain if you started ‘keeping secrets’, as Finn so often phrased it. The first time, it was cute, and you let him off with a lecture, and you couldn’t be mad the second, not when his eyes were so wide and he was so curious to see if this bowl was as breakable as the other dozen he’d tried. It felt different, though, this time.

It felt malicious.

His eyes were narrowed, now, focused on shards littered across your tiled floor as he rolled over his next projectile in his hand - a glass cup, clear and patterned and so, so expensive to replace. Nothing about his posture would suggest it, his back hunched in concentration and his legs crossed underneath him, making it seem as if Finn was just protecting his territory on your kitchen island as fiercely as he could. The only hint of his discontent came in the form of his tail, curled and motionless, forming a curved, bowing arch behind him that only occasionally twitched when your gaze met his. Neither of you had spoken, not since Finn spotted you in the doorway, and he saw fit to break the silence with a heart-stopping, finance-straining crash, the cup soon in pieces at your feet, Finn already selecting his next target from the slowly shrinking hoard beside him.

“You’re mad,” You announced, aiming the statement toward no one in particular. Finn was the only one around to hear it, and he certainly wasn’t listening. “Am I allowed to ask why?”

A plate, this time, one of your nicer ones. It splits down the middle, forming two lopsided pieces. “I don’t know what you mean. My hand slipped.” He bent down, picking up one of the larger shards and letting it drop. You raised an eyebrow, and Finn scoffed. “It slipped again.”

You crossed your arms, only to uncross them and lurch forward as he shoved your favorite mug of the tabletop’s edge, Finn watching as you scrambled to catch the utensil by its ceramic handle. With more force than you probably should’ve used, you slammed the mug down on the countertop, taking Finn’s wrist when he reached out to take it back up. You’d come home less than an hour ago, your shoes still on and every cell in your body still exhausted, but safe-guarding your possessions came first. Unless you wanted to come back to the scraps of whatever Finn’s tantrum left behind. “Tell me what’s wrong, alright?” You tried, sympathetically, softening your tone and squeezing his hand affectionately. “I don’t want to put a deadbolt on the cupboard, again, and I’m not going to fight with you. Just… tell me what’s bothering you. I’ll do whatever I can to make it right.”

Finn took a moment to evaluate your offer, the tip of a pink tongue emerging to absentmindedly trace the shape of his fangs. When he spoke, he did so hesitantly. “Promise?”

“Anything,” You said, pursing your lips. “Within reason.”

That was all the permission he needed. Swiftly, he jumped down from his perch, short nails hooking around the hem of your sleeve and pulling you forward, urging you to follow as he made his way deeper into your apartment. You tried to think of where he wanted to take you, for a second or two, but by the time you formed a list of possibilities, you’d already arrived at the entrance to your cramped bathroom, the door quickly pushed open with Finn’s shoulder. He was a head shorter than you and weighed half as much, but you were too stunned to fight back as he shoved you into the open shower, letting you trip over a low wall and fail to catch yourself on smooth tiles, your back eventually hitting the floor with a hollow thud. A dull pain sparked at the base of your spine, etching itself into your mind with a series of aches and throbs, but if Finn noticed, he didn’t feel the need to show it, his lips pursing into a thoughtful scowl as he scrambled to dislodge the showerhead. His efforts were persistent, but sloppy. A result of never feeling the need to practice, not without another person’s help.

“Finny, I don’t--” You stopped, abruptly, bracing yourself just in time to be hit with a spray of ice-cold water. It was a graceless assault, clumsy and too sudden to be gentle, but thankfully, Finn thought to move away from your head quickly, leaving your hair soaked and your chest seeped of its warmth, your clothes seeming to hold the chill against your skin longer than it had to. You considered attempting to remove a layer or two, if only to alleviate the discomfort, but decided it was better not to think about it. Finn was already panicked. You didn’t want to make things worse. “Stop,” You urged, your tone too light for the demand to be a true order. “What are you… Why? I can’t believe--”

“You smell like someone else.” The explanation was brief, but he spat the words as if they were venom on his tongue, harsh and passionate and awful. More awful than anything you’d heard him say before. “You came home like that yesterday, too, and the day before. Someone’s been touching you.” His lips curled back, teeth emerging in a sharp, observant snarl. “You’ve been touching someone else.”

“You’re being irrational.” Finn’s grip on the showerhead tightened, but he didn’t move to stop you as you moved to push yourself up. The steam came to focus on center of your stomach as you stood, turning off the water with little more than a twist of your wrist. Stripped of his only weapon, Finn’s surrender came without further argument, the showerhead dropped and his face soon buried in your shirt, claws beginning to kneed into your hips in a silent plea for forgiveness. You opened your mouth, but he didn’t give you time to speak. His breathing was still labored, his eyes still shut in an effort to block out the rest of the world. Part of you felt bad at him, even if you were the one left dripping wet.

“The last one started coming home like that, too,” He mumbled, snow-white ears flattening against his scalp. “She brought another scent home, then she brought someone else home, then she didn’t come home at all. You’re gonna leave, too, and you’re not gonna come back. You’ll leave me.”

You sighed. You sighed, and you ran a hand through his hair, scraping over his scalp and scratching at the base of his ears, doing all the things you always did when he doubted your commitment. In return, Finn leaned into you, his weight settling against your own until there was no doubt you were the only thing holding him up.

You did all the things you were supposed to do, and yet, you couldn’t seem to bring yourself to tell him you’d stay.

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samnyangie · 3 years

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Personal reviews on RSL filmography

Rsl, iI thought it’d be a good idea to record my thought on each films rsl was in, it was something I always wanted to do...

Rsl in total, was starred in (excluding tv series etc) 27-ish films, to be honest, considering his years as an actor(approximately more than 30 years) he wasn’t starred in that many. We all know why lol

Just saying I’m not a film expert, therefore the list is very subjective.

The reviews with trigger warning (r*pe, g*re etc): Tape, Killer: Journal of Murder, A glimpse of hell. Tho in the writing I’ve censored them with * since I don’t feel comfortable saying them here

There isn’t particular spoilers except for dps, tape, and ground control

The favourites (literally my life time films)

Dead Poets Society

I assume many would agree, and as many would have, it was my first ever rsl film, like I was on the plane and it was one of the films they offered, and I was like, oh I think i heard of this, so I watched and instantly loved it. The message is very relevant to this day, the cinematography is very beautiful and somehow nostalgic. I was horrified with Neil’s death. Tbh now I’ve seen too many memes and all kind of things from the fandom (which I’m grateful for!) I thought the heartfelt I once had would deluded a bit, however when I watched it again last April with my family at the cinema and it still moved me very deeply.

The age of Innocence

Okay, unpopular opinion here, I love this so much. It’s my all time favourite rsl film. It even outruns dps tiny winy bit haha. Aside from how he had tiny winy screen time, appearing at the end but the fact that he played quite an important role and him being gorgeous in it just<33 I couldn’t help but smiling! It just the whole film was so much of my cup of tea? The melodrama and the hypocrisy hidden by elegance among the upper social classes in 19th century is just what I needed. The more I watch it, the more I understand the characters and their emotions, it’s one of those films you should keep visit to discover the things you weren’t aware of before. I watched it again this morning and i couldn’t stop thinking about it. However, I know some people find it boring and I understand why, my sister is one of them lol(except for a bit where rsl was in) but i think it’s more complex than what it appears to be at a first glance haha. In conclusion, it became one of my comfort film to watch time to time.

The ones I like<33

Swing kids

At first viewing, I didn’t expected much because it had underwhelming reviews but when I actually saw it, I thought it was quite decent and more and more I watched it, I felt like it was underrated. Yes, I think some directing choices were bit old fashioned and cheesy especially the ending, I’m not saying it was a perfect masterpiece but it deserves more recognition than it has now. Also in spite that there’re some parts being too simplified, it touched on something other films about ww2 normally don’t. It was interesting to see the German perspective on it than Jewish or the allies perspective like many of them does, but of course the latter perspectives matter, it could be argued that they more valid than the former, which partly was where sk criticised for, however, the portrayal of the varied reactions of the German people (in this one particular the teenagers) has its value in their on way. Anyway along side with it, the music and the dance scenes were great, without exaggeration, though Swing kids isn’t my fav, peter’s solo dance scene is my favourite scene in any movies I’ve ever watched. I mean that scene had both visuals and meaning as it demonstrated Peter’s determination as well as resentment with a hitch of unsureness. Rsl acting in that scene was just phenomenal, it’s not about showing off the dancing skills but he portrayed every mixed emotions peter has from his expression and the moves, I just can’t talk about this enough especially this scene was the reason I started fallen for him. lol

Much ado about nothing

Much ado is something I never seen anything like so it was a refreshing exprience. I barely watched Shakespeare on screen kind of thing. Though I felt there were some bits too cheesy for me but they are also the charms in the same time, and the cinematography was pretty also Claudio aka rsl, it was like an official announcement of declaring my worship on this man. Especially it was after SWING KIDSSSS so I couldn’t help it now everyone knows how I fallen for him but no one can blame meeeeee Anyway, it’s a really good film to watch when you want be relaxed with cup of tea maybe hehe

In the gloaming

I heard about it before I watched it, that it’s a heart wrenching, tearful piece, though I didn’t managed to cry, it’s just.... painful and in a way heartfelt. I liked that story telling was calm and collected rather than forcing you to join the sob party, just showing the characters to carry on. And thanks to the great acting from the cast, the characters could be emphasised and understood, personally the older sister was the most relatable character for me, well, eldest complex lol. In short I liked it but it’s not something I would watch it often.

Last days of Disco

As a person who looks at aesthetic in films, I simply enjoyed this for that tbh. I don’t know, I just liked the feeling. But I don’t think it’d be everyone’s cup of tea. I love the day time clothes the girls wore in the film. Tbh I love the music too, I think I love all the films of rsl with music in it. Speaking about rsl, oh rsl, he’s.... His character might be bit unlikable but he was just.... This is why I can’t unlove his characters even the debatable ones<33

They were decent! (I would recommend it)

Married to it

This is the first and last ever attempt of rsl of romcomssss The film itself is cliche to be frank it’s like love actually but it’s about marriage life + it’s not christmas but I like heartfelt cliche stories like this, if anyone also loves this type of story, it’s really worth watching, it’s one of my comfort films, also, rsl is so pretty I mean he always is but to see him being a office man with a baby face made me go awww my baby grew up heheh I wish he did another romcom like this or more preferably, melodramatic romance, I’d have made a shrine of it and worship it every morning lol

The boys next door

I kind of smiled while watching it throughout, if you want something that is heartfelt and touch on some serious topic about social workers and the people with mental disorder, Rsl plays a character who has (I think it was) Schizophrenia and troubled relationship with his father(Deja vu I know) but general atmosphere tend to be quite humourous. I don’t get me wrong, though it’s light hearted, it doesn’t mean they treat the topic in the same way. There’s a scene where the protagonist imagining the one of the characters with the disorder talking eloquently and honourably at the court on the rights and the dignity of the people with mental disorders deserve to/should have and they’re just the same people as the people without mental disorders. It was a powerful scene.

My two loves

Rsl’s first ever screen debut film! Hehe it’s about a woman who is discovering her sexual identity and the conflicts within I personally thought it was fairly sensible depiction but I can’t say for sure whether it was accurate or else, since I don’t think it’s my place to say it:) But if you’re interested, it’s on YouTube, you can just search for it or go to this post I made. Fun fact: since it was his debut film, it credits him as he’s real name, Robert L. Leonard, I just find it amusing haha

Tape

It’s another type of film I don’t encounter that often, I enjoyed it, especially with Neil and Todd’s reunion lol. Rsl mentioned how he enjoyed it because it felt like doing a play, my first impression was that the structure is like a play, though the camera work made me quite dizzy haha. But the dialogues, the acting, I think it was quite spot on. Especially the human contradictions and hypocrisy side of it. The most people assume the baddie in the film is Jon the character rsl played and has a distaste for him. I mean how can anyone love a character who is accused of r*pe but to be honest, Vincent for me seemed just as problematic, both of them are hypocrites for sure in their own different ways but in the end we can’t be sure what’s really the truth or not. It’s about the vagueness, and phychology and the uncertainty from the audience on who to believe(well, myself included, most would trust on Amy’s claims since she’s the victim in the accusation, but by her denying the claims, making everything way unclear,) so I don’t know. I don’t really have an opinion haha tho I don’t believe nothing happened because Amy denied so, even Umma Thurman who played her, said that her interpretation was that Amy lied. I felt it’s endless rabbit hole this film. Sorry I couldn’t worded it better.

My best friend is a Vampire

It’s cringey and weird but there’re odd charm to it. Vampire rsl’s so cute as well.... and I think it’s the only film, he acted kind of flirty ? So for that itself I’d like to appreciate itttt And it’s so 80s/90s, like it has general odd nostalgia like all films from that age has. I saw a Korean blog about rsl films and this was mentioned, that- they said- it’s a bible of rsl’s adorableness and I think that sum up the film perfectly.

Mr&Mrs Bridge

Before this was in ‘I mean it was fine” category, but I watched it again and now I want to retract my statement lol Still isn’t my fav but I noticed how delicately depicted each characters are, Mr and Mrs Bridge in particular. This film is alternatively about the changes in the young generation regarding liberty, feminism, free expression especially on sex. It’s in the perspective of the bridges, the mother and father who is old fashioned and conservative (as it was normal in their previous generation) and the children who are the young generation, and the misunderstanding and conflicts between them. After all it all happened not only because of the difference but also the lack of communication, which rsl emphasised in his interviews. I found it interesting that they made it seems like the Bridges truly existed with the video footage and (with the ending) describing what happened to each family member in text with photos. When I watched it at first I was really confused if it was based on a real life. I think what they wanted to suggest was that the Bridges every typical American family at the time. It was something everyone was going through. I said previously I didn’t get why Rsl’s character (the youngest in the Bridges) treated his mother so coldly. Honestly I do get why, but I guess I felt so bad so the mother haha

I mean it was fine

The safe passage

It was okay but to be honest it didn’t stood out to me. It was okay. The story, the characters weren’t that interesting. I wish they extended it longer to go depth with their family relationship or something.

A painted house

I find it likeable, it has a chill, old folk story vibe, but same as previous one. it didn’t really stand out except for shirtless rsl, do close ups you cowards

Bluffing it

I was really fond of the premise of this film and I think it has great intention. It was specifically made to promote the awareness of illiteracy and how to get support. However, I don’t get the reason of Jack the protagonist’s illiteracy. Unless, it was common occurrence in America at the time, I feel like it’d have been more convincing if he was in poor family hood, so there was no time to learn at school due to working at young age...? I mean, just finding it hard to believe he passed the high school just like that, I mean the teachers or anyone should have noticed it, maybe I’m missing something here but it seemed unlikely to me.

Ground control

Again, I liked the message, as it depicted how frightening and difficult job the ground controller is, by one mistake could take away the lives of hundreds, especially as someone who goes on planes a lot... But it was quite cliche throughout, I just couldn’t get engaged to it. But I do admit at the end when the protagonist runs off to the landing zone see the pilot who he had just saved, they acknowledged each other and have eye contacts was truly wholesome. Rsl as cocky, bad boy was such a icing on the cake, I loved it so much. Chewing gum in every scene lol I hope he plays these sort of characters more often. I saw someone criticising him saying he has narrow spectrum of just playing nice boy roles like Neil but I really wanted to debunk the narrative and this could be one of the examples!

Chelsea walls

I knew that this has split reviews but nonetheless I think worth to watch it, 1. Ethan and rsl re union, 2. Ethan is the directer of the film and rsl sing in it. But I have to say, it’s one of those hard to follow art indie film so I couldn’t finish it on one go. I feel like I have to devour it over and over again. Maybe later on I grow fond of it more lol But his character, I loved him so much. He’s just has everyone don’t touch me, I’m a cocky artist vibe, there’s a scene where his annoying friend annoying him and he looks up and says: ‘Fck off’. Absolute golddddd not to mention he sings and plays guitar so beautifully<333

Well... it’s not my cup of tea

The Manhattan project

I don’t think the film it self was that bad, it’s about high school boy who find out the existence of some nuclear energy research lab and stole the energy to make his own nuclear bomb. I just don’t get the thinking process of the protagonist. It really frustrated me. He seemed apathetic and unlikable I disliked him throughout and that’s why I didn’t really enjoyed it. I mean it has humour and ridiculous storyline might be humorous to some. But more importantly there was such little screen time for rsl!! LIKE WHY? WHY PEOPLE?? HE LOOKS LIKE A FRESH HUMAN MOCHI!!! It makes me soooo mad to think about it

Killer: Journal of Murder

Well, first of all, it had a lot of graphic things than I imagined, brutally murd*red bodies, execution, and r*pe scene, gosh I was strucken by it when I saw that, I had to skipped that scene. It’s based on a real event and a real criminal called Carl Panzram, so if you’re aware of it, it might be more intriguiging to see. But personally for me... meh, I don’t think directing was good as it failed to portray it enough for me to comprehend fully.

A Glimpse of Hell

This is also based on a true event of a tragic accident in the us battleship in Iowa in 1989. They shows tragedy lin a blunt, brutal way by showing horribly damaged bodies of the soldiers torn into pieces, all the horrid things directly so be warned about that. I was quite alarmed because i didn’t expect to see it haha there’s no much to say. The film quality was so so for me. I feel their approach wasn’t appropriate, they were clearly trying to make it dramatic which is fine but in a melodramatic emotional way. It didn’t work because first, there aren’t enough portrayal of the characters for me to get attached, secondly it added the unnecessary exaggeration it prevented me from being emotionally involved or even to think about it. In my opinion, I think it’d have been better if they made it more restrained, dry, focus on the accuracy. For example like 1987 or Zodiac, I mean both of them has dramatic elements since they’re not a documentary but they were not overdone, in a contrary added emphasis to their message/conclusion. I know it’s easier said than done but it was something I consistently felt during it.

Sir.... I’m sorry but-

Standoff

Haha... it’s very peculiar... the directing is off and it just weird. I knew it was bad already but I watched it because rsl as a cop with gunssssssss just... so rare and just.... something else. There’s no way of me missing that seriously. Tbh him doing an action stunt isn’t what I imagine when it comes to him and there’s really any actions scenes anyway but it really was something. Like the character he played here really became my soft spot Hehehehe he was pretty and plus, tbh it’s kind of film I’d make fun of while watching so everything was (alomst) forgivable. There is a recent thing I think about, since this is about a cult, I kind of hope he’d at some day play a role like Eli Sunday from There will be blood: a manipulative, deceitful and maddened priest with twisted faith. Though Paul Dano did a grand job, the idea was in my head the whole time. Well, it’s a shame he wasn’t any of those here lol

Driven

From what I seen, the majority of people seem to unanimously hate this film, and after watching it I became one of those ppl. At least Standoff could be make fun of and rsl held gunssss but this...... I want to say so many things... I feel like they should have chose either fancy, fast paced, thrilling racing film or detailed depiction of emotions/relationships with the racers and people involved in it, I know both can be done, but I think that was outside of their ability, but since they tried to do that at once, it became a mess that doesn’t go either way. And the characters, any of them, including rsl’s are narrow or impossible to understand. I mean rsl did great himself, it was not about acting, the problem lies on the script and editing in my opinion. Also there were so many unnecessary characters made me question of their existence. Luckily rsl’s character isn’t one of them, however because of them, he had to squeeze in and unable to elaborate, which is a shame as he was an interesting character and someone rsl rarely plays; a arrogant and opportunist agent/brother of the protagonist, who would do anything for success... ha.... whyyyyy

This is it. If I watch other stuff I might add to it in the future. Overall, I know I’m biased but I do like His filmography, I do have appreciations in every one of them in different way to the good ones to bad. He may have disagree, but I love his acting on screen, well, I barely seen him on stage (crying)

Edit: as some of you could see, I’ve edited this over and over again haha elaborating on thing or the contrary. I can say with a glimpse of hell I practically managed to watch every rsl films out there lol except for the i inside and the short film he did called a dog race in Alaska. But with the former I’m not interested and already know the storyline, and the latter is just impossible to find, trust me I did my best;;

So to sum up: I HAVE MASTERED THE RSL FILMOGRAPHY!

#robert sean leonard #rsl #films #filmography #personal #thoughts

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2ofswords · 2 years

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Grief pathologic, Astrid Blank Rune, Caravel inner shadow

Bad Grief

Favorite thing about them The speech pattern! The way Grief speaks is just so much fun! All the idioms and wordplay! :D

Least favorite thing about them That he defends Big Vlad :( It makes sense but is still a dissapointment. I guess, Grief really does only playact the thief after all...

Favorite line "Some are wise, others otherwise" Again, I really love the wordplay. If we go by dialogue, I really love the first dialogue with him in Pathologic two and how the whole "Artemy who cuts arteries" talk. Amazing way to introduce a character!

BrOTP Grief and Lara is quite the dynamic to imagine. They like each other but also Lara is probably pretty exasparated and gives him a hard time. Which I like. ^^

OTP Him and Stakh! Obviously his friendship with Artemy is very meaningful too, but the on and off he and Rubin has and how they start of bad and then Grief hides him in a warehouse and tries to help anyway. That's love, babey!

NOTP Grief/Aglaya. She wrecks him and breaks his mind! And I get, why people could find that enticing... But it's really not my cup of tea at all and I can't see Aglaya taking him that seriously.

Random headcanon He still sometimes randomly climbs through windows, to get into peoples houses. :D

Unpopular opinion That's more of a random theory, but I hope that he will turn out to be way more dangerous than expected in other routes. I would love to face that Artemy has a better experience with Grief because of the friendship, while others exprience him as more dangerous. Though I also like the appeal of Patho2 nice Grief.

Song i associate with them I still don't have a lot of Patho-Songs at the ready. Sorry.

Favorite picture of them I don't exactly remember, but there is this one picture with him and Victor, where he teaches him abbout clockwork? Really like that one!

Astrid

Favorite thing about them Her subtle sass! Love that she is so kind but also has the tendency to be really exasparated. We love a queen that remains kind but doesn’t take shit.

Least favorite thing about them I don't know?? I love Astrid! Their reluctancy to perform kidney surgery on other people and choosing self-sacrifice instead??

Favorite line "Du bist ein… ein netter Kerl, Jakob. Wirklich! Nur… bitte, Leute zu ermorden, ist keine Lösung!"

BrOTP Her and Kain. Those two are adorable together!

OTP Eiwaz OT3… obviously. Those three play of each other so well!

NOTP I don’t really have one? I guess I wouldn’t want her to date Jakob without Ash’s… “support”. I wanted to say, that the boy alone is very high maintenance but… Is Ash truly helping??? “^^ And it would still be cute. Though I stand by the statement, that the Eiwaz OT3 kinda only works if all three are in it and the duos alone are kind of awkward.

Random headcanon Astrid loves to tell bedtime stories. She thinks its relaxing and unwinds her from the rest of the day. So she kinda starts rambling about random made up shit, while Jakob falls asleep after five minutes and feels terrible afterwards and Ash just wants to get some sleep but listens attentively anyways.

Unpopular opinion Are there any? She deserves the world!

Song i associate with them Other than her themesong? Not really, though I’m sure it isn’t that difficult to find something for her. The problem is, that I don’t listen to a lot of chipper songs very conciously, which can make it hard to find music for the characters with a positive worldview…

Favorite picture of them Definitelly the death portrait Will made with the entire Eiwaz OT3! That's such a good one and I also love Astrid's specifically! It's so... serene.

Caravel

Favorite thing about them Where shouls I even begin? I love her range of emotions! She is so passionate – and most of all compassionate – behind her stoicism. Seeing that break through and also playing with the contrasts is so much fun!

Least favorite thing about them Her taste in men. u_u I am so sorry, queen.

Favorite line Can I just name her entire attempt to explain her backstory? No? Fine. Ihr “Debatierbar”, nachdem Turis meinte, sie hätten keine Mörder in ihrer Gruppe.

BrOTP Her and the Lads are very cute. Though… There’s also a heavy amount of projecting going on. Also it would be weird to not mention Tilly?? I love their dynamic a lot, though calling it a proper friendship… might be a little bit too much. Also there is a secret surprise BrOTP, that will help us later. :) So there’s… too many options to choose from. Which is strange, since Caravel really does need some friends right now…

OTP I totally ship Snowwhite and the Huntsman. The lies, the guilt, the tension, the truth. Breaking things apart and still wanting them to be fixed. The what ifs!! The vulnerability of showing oneself! Slowly figuring out who the other person is! And then who you yourself can be! The unresolved longing. The question if one can be forgiven and who truly has that power. What that means. What love without forgiveness means!! It only works, if Caravel grows more confident about standing up for herself but that is the journey, babey!

NOTP Well, it’s not Caravel/Turis, that’s for sure! But fuck Elliot Driver! See, one is a good lying child-murdering boyfriend and the other is a bad lying child-murdering boyfriend. It’s that simple!

Random headcanon Was almost named “Toyota” and the parents decided last second to use “Caravel" instead

Unpopular opinion I’m afraid shipping her with Turis is already the unpopular opinion. I think, she still has feelings for him. Not nessecarily good ones, though. “^^

Song i associate with them Can’t not mention “Wine Red” from The Hush Sound here, huh.. Though in my defense, it fits her backstory!!!

Favorite picture of them I think it’s the inktober one. That one is very cool!

#Thank you!!#The Blank Rune

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the-eldritch-it-gay · 4 years

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About Mark of the Assassin: I hate that they felt the need to add in a transphobic joke, it was so Bad and unnecessary. Also, I'd like to know your thoughts on the rest of it!!

Ñnjkshfskdjhfsdkj okay. So I haven’t quite finished it so far, I only recentely bought the DLC stuff for DA2 so I figured since my life isn’t going great I’d relax and play some of the DLC stuff.

I was very excited upon meeting Tallis, since I love seeing elven characters. The premise of going to committ a hesit in some Orlesian estate during a fancy party? Fun. I hate Orlais, but I do enjoy the fun of hests and backstabbing politics. I saw Leliana, cool! Then you know, there’s the unnecessary transphobia and I was really 😬, ya sabes?

But the part I got to now which really made me uncomfortable and I had to pause and step out of the game is, inevitably. The stuff with the Qunari.

It realllly feels like they hammared home the “Qunari as fantasy muslims” thing to the point that I’m surprise I haven’t seen anything about it before? But I think perhap it just because I’m Muslim and notice and it might be just my interpretation. The two big parts that feel hammar home to me are:

1. When Tallis is revealed to be Qunari, and Varric (in the storytelling with Cassandra) jokes how maybe she cut her horns off, and Cassandra says smth like “Qunari is a religion, not a race”.

As a Muslim (One who isn’t middle-eastern) I frequently come across people believing that Muslim = Arab/Middle Eastern. Hell, I have had to tell people that Islam is a religion, not a race (I’ve had people [not Muslim ppl] tell me I’m the wrong type of brown to be Muslim or that I can’t be Mexican and Muslim).

2. While in the prison with Hawke, and Hawke makes comments about her being Qunari, she gets upset and says smth along the lines of “We’re not all radicalized”, I don’t remember the phrasing exactly. She goes on to talk about how some Qunari don’t understand humans, but she grew up around them so she does. Maybe she says more but I exited conversationing quick because it was upseting.

Again, as a Muslim, I constantly have people viewing me as a terrorist or extremist. When I wasn’t veiling and I mentioned my faith I would constantly get comments or jokes about if I’m going to be radicalized or if i’m an extremist.

These two things on their own aren’t bad inherently, sure, but with the context that the Qunari are the Big Bad and an Evil nation (especially in DA2 where they are seen is invading kirkwall, and they eventually destory the city and kill tons of people). The Qunari are always painted as bad, they invade places, they are horrible to mages, they kill innocent people and destroy city, they have strange beliefs they try to convert people to, the people under it have little freedom and their thoughts are police {I talk about my thoughts on the Qunari in genral in this post, there’s also much anti-blackness with Qunari but I can only speak as Muslim}. So the fact that the above points seem to very much mirror views/experiences of Muslims but are being put on the Big Bad Evil People? 😬

Honestly that emoji doesn’t really convery how it felt so far. To see expriences I can relate to because of my faith being shown on the Big Bad Evil People just feels very bad. Its very legitimately upseting to me in a way I feel in my chest and soul.

#Eldritch IT Speaks #Eldritch IT Answers #Eldritch IT Meta #The Eldritch Dragon Age #islamaphobia #i don't think dragon age writers should be aloow to write #arcanedagna

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ameliyaahn3 · 4 years

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🖇 hi! could i request for a matchup for naruto and haikyuu, please? thank you so much! i am a female, a minor, and straight. my mbti is infp, my zodiac is gemini, and my enneagram is 4w5; if that helps too. appearance-wise, i’m on the taller side (5’10) and relatively slim, with a curly brown bob and light skin. i’m an introverted person with a pretty strict moral compass, though i often find it hard to speak my own words with confidence. i’m not too good with strangers or social events, but i have a select few people and places that i cherish deeply. i’m completely mirrored when i’m around my mutuals, that being said. as when i’m in public, i can come off as isolated and awkward. however, when i manage to make connections, i’m talkative and passionate (likely to make up for how quiet and constrained i am in public). in private, my feelings and ideals are very vocal, very random. my ideas come and go. i love being intimate with those who i’m close to, and i’m also VERY cuddly. it doesn’t matter if it’s my family, friends, or s/o; i just love cuddles and hugs. i’d say physical touch is a big part of my love language, followed with words of affirmation. i take interest in studying psychological matters (i’ve been studying a lot about cognitive functions) and i appreciate looking in-depth for the hidden meanings of works and people. while it’s harder for me to get focused on things i’m uninterested in, i DEDICATE myself to the things i love. in my free time, i love to bake and write, as well as to read fanfiction and manga. i dislike getting thrown off my own schedule, messy environments, knuckle cracking, and public speaking. i fear setting high expectations for myself that in the end let me down. additional info: my favorite time of day is late night. my favorite anime are jjba and one piece, though i especially enjoyed the manga for both more. my favorite cliche romance is probably slow burn. i'm a little shy in relationships at first, so i'd likely need for someone to be more outspoken with their affection for me to reciprocate. my favorite song is brazil by declan mckenna (but specifically grant schaffer’s guitar version). my life goal is to expand my understanding of both myself and how the world works. anyway, that's about it!! hope you’re healthy and well <3

Thank you for requesting ! Here your matchup !

Naruto

I match you with...

Naruto Uzumaki.

YOU NEED SOMEONE EXTRAVERTED.

With Naruto, impossible that your voice will be ignored, he cares so much of you and think that you're smart !

Also he's so motivating, what makes you feel much more confident and push you naturally to be the better version of yourself without having the too high exceptation problems : He makes you feel likes princess, he's such a simp and protects you at all it cost.

Don't mind that you're awkward in public, find it pretty cute and is actually really reassured that you have your own stricts morals and loves you for that.

All his friends are your friends, but I think that you will hang out the most with Shikamaru and Chouji.

If Chouji don't mind your cuddly side Shikamaru don't like it at all and Naruto neither. 💀 I mean, hugs and physical affection are okay with your friends for him but he want to feel like being your boyfriend gives him exclusives advantages at this level at least !

So you better be VERY cuddly with him.

Place his head on your shoulder or on your thights while you're reading, if it's a crack fanfiction or a really hilarant manga please share with him the fun.

Don't know much about writing so he can't even give advice and has a bad exprience with somes writersand readers... Jiraya and Kakashi. 💀

In a modern AU, Naruto definitely reads mangas and his favorite would be One Piece.

If you're a night owler know that it isn't in Naruto nature to be matinal at all too..

Naruto is very bad at cooking, please teach him how to cook. You're his savior.

Also you know, I know, how messy he is, his appartement is so... 💀 but if you help him clean times to times it would stay like this and he would be so grateful to you !

Naruto thanks you by taking you to Ichiraku's ramen but if you start to be annoyed who wouldn't ? He takes you on proper date and do a lot of efforts.

Know that you likes more calm place so takes it in count.

Find your interest for psychological matters very interesting, obviously think that it could help him in his path to become Hokage and to instaure peace in the shinobi world so he learn with you even if sometimes he's lost.

Thinks that you should work with children as a teacher in the future !

Enjoy and cherish every words of affection that you may tell him, feels loved and not alone anymore. Gives you the same treatment in return, even drown you with them.

Gemini x Libra are pretty compatible.

Also Naruto don't mind that you're taller than him but would admit that he wish he was so you feel even more protected by his sides. He is at least the same height as you in Boruto.

I have to admit that his father is probably a better match for you but you're minor. 💀

Others potential matchs :

Minato Namikaze, Itachi Uchiha, Ino Yamanaka.

Haikyuu

I match you with...

Tooru Oikawa

Good luck.

This ikemen probably run after you for years, finds you pretty in all aspects.

How do I even start ? Your personality is very beautiful to him, you pass through an hard time when it comes to speak in public but your ideas are very clear for him and don't get of your ethic.

Thinks you're smart and want to be a part of the elite that you cherish.

Oikawa admire how devoted you are in what you do, respects you a lot.

You assit to all his matchs.

Likes how awkward you may seem in public despite being passionate and talkative when you're close to someone.

He finds your shyness so cute even if he makes slightly fun of it, teach you how to be more confident in yourself and push you to open up more but want to preserve you to himself.

DON'T ACCEPT THAT YOU'RE TOUCHY WITH EVERYONE AT ALL AND MAKES YOU FEEL IT.

Introduce between your friends and you during hugs when he's jealous, even asked once if one of your friends is lesbian. 💀 Definitely need time to adapt.

Reads fanfiction with you and even help you to write, Oikawa is a good inspiration.

Cooks him milk bread once in a week and he puts that ring on your finger.

Unlike Naruto, he's clean and don't bring that much trouble in your schedule.

But THAT BASTARD cracks his knukles EVERYTIME, sometimes even do it to bother you. 💀

Such a teaser, I hope you can handle.

Isn't the one to stay awake very late at night for no reason cause he know how it's hard for him to wake up in the morning except if it's for watch volleyball matchs or aliens conspiracies.

Don't read that much mangas but probably watch Seinen animes like Death Note. So he's very familiar with psychology and thinks that it's a good interest to have since he's into himself, often ask for your knowledge.

Really takes his times with you and don't press anything but makes clearly understand that he's not here only for friendship.

Takes you on best dates and makes you feel like queen. 💅🏾👑 First kiss was exceptional. You're very relaxing to him and a big source of joy.

He's so good with words and spoil you whenever he can.

Others potential matchs :

Atsumu Miya, Bokuto Koutaro, Lev Haiba

#matchups #matchup #naruto #haikyuu!!#oikawa tooru #naruto uzumaki

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sadboyayeron · 4 years

Text

THE ONLY VALID MORIYAMA Nikoshi Doe

I came up with this Idea of Kevin having to raise Rikos son who’s name I decide would be Nikoshi Doe aka Niko

Enjoy

So If you Read “Tapping on my Chamber door”

You know Nikoshi’s mother, Naima Dixon was born in Jamaica but came to the states at a young age after her mom past away. She lived in the Bronx with her Aunt. She had tight curls aften in box breads or corn cornrows and dark skin with light brown eyes. She was 5’8. Had a muscular build from all the years of track and had a scholarship to run at Eager Allen University. She was soon to have a spot on the olympic team for long jump, 100, 200 and 400 meters. She was then pregnant with Nikoshi after her and Riko started there little hook up. The knew of each other but they first met in class. She noticed Riko looking at her.

“Like what you see.” I was trying to catch him off guard but he didn’t even look surprise. But then he smiled. Something sharp that left me feeling tingly, similar to how I feel before racing.

“Not to bad, no.” He chuckled, looked me up and down before he landed back on my eyes, “Want to sit.”

He left me in a trance and I took a seat next to him and sat my books in front of me. I tucked some braids behind my ear and looked at him again, he was looking back with a smug smile on his face.

At first I was thinking Nikoshi was Rikos frozen sperm and his mother was forced by Rikos uncle to have him BUT I decide that Riko died before he knew about Naima being pregnant She found out she was pregnant and went to Riko’s uncle for help and he said to give him the kid and she could get her scholarship Back. So she agreed naming him “Nico” but sadly she died while giving birth from bleeding out. Tesuji doesn’t use that name and changes it to ‘Nikoshi’ stripping him of any last name (Doe) putting the kid into the system in the same place she grow up in Bronx. Ichirou is informed of Nikoshi ten years later after having his Uncle killed. Who then informs kevin.

Nikoshi is from the Bronx has a accent when he speaks. He knows Spanish because of the amount of Dominican and Puerto Rican foster parents he’s had. Kinda understands broken english two because one of his foster brothers was from Jamaica which is cool because he knows he’s half Jamaican and some type of asian. He wears beat up high top jordan 1s baggy ripped jeans and long sleeves with a baggy jacket. He plays soccer because the system put him on a team and he’s very fast. He didn’t have much clothes but his best ones are the uniforms and he’s fine with that. He also plays street basketball and baseball with some kids in the area.

Kevin has to take Nikoshi in, according to Ichirou. Bringing Neil and Andrew with him. Ichirou just sent him a picture a kid and he was confused until he got that call that explained everything. He doesn’t need to explain who the kid is because you can clearly tell from the picture. Though the kid has milk cholclate skin, and curly hair that falls around his head in a fro.

When he frist sees Nico he has a scrape scab on his cheek, bruises on his wrist and purple knuckles. His ears a surprisingly pierced.

They find out Nikoshi Doe goes by Niko, he likes chocolate and cafe con leche (coffee), he likes shoes, he likes the color green, he uses a lot of slang and sometimes uses broken english and spanglish words, he’s quite but hyper and doesn’t know how to say still, asks why a lot, he hates math and likes to read, he loves listening to music it’s his safe place, he was diagnosed with ADHD/ADD and takes a pill in the morning and after noon on school days, he doesn’t like the way the pills make him feel, he likes Bee, Bee suspects Niko my be Borderline but it’s hard to tell, Kevin explains Riko was too. When they go to pick up Nikoshi they are informed of his diagnoses.

“So Kevin Day, It is very nice to meet you my husband loves watching you guys play Exy,” She smiled at them and then opened a drawer in her desk pulling out two folders.“ Now these paper were just printed out today. One from Nikoshi’s Doctor and another from his psychologist.” Kevin straightened his back more at that.

“Psychologist?” She looked up at Kevin.

“Yes, a lot of children in foster care go to see a therapist. It helps cope with abandonment and makes sure the kids are transitioning well in their new homes.” She opened one of the folders. “Nikoshi saw a therapist who recommended him to a psychologist. He was diagnosed with ADHD/ADD and given medication. He went through three different medications before he was put on Focalin XR. His biggest issues are impulsivity, managing feelings, and energy. There is more information in the folder with getting the prescription at a pharmacy and things to know about his behavior. He takes Focalin every morning before school, its not needed on the weekends but to long off it isn’t the best idea. Though if you want him off the medication, if you ever come to adopting him you can do that.” She looked towards the other two. “Will you two be helping take care of Nikoshi.”

“Yeah we are, is there anything else we need to know. If he needs a therapist we already got that covered. We can send her the information.” Neil replied with a bored tone but

“Thats good to know, he just saw the doctor last week. He gained some weight and is now at a more healthier weight then he was before.” She sighed. “You have to reminded him to eat, he forgets to and he doesn't ask for food. The foster home he was just at was good with keeping a schedule, he ate, took his meds, ate at school, had a snack at home, soccer practice and then dinner. He gets distracted and has little habits that cause him focus to much on random things. The meds take away his hunger also, so it important that he finishes.” She then closed both folders and stacked them together before sliding them to Kevin.

Kevin didn’t know how to process that. This information sounded to familiar. He always had to remind Riko to eat something. Riko would go days without eating, or sleeping, or even both. It got so bad the master had to tube feed him because he past out and didn’t get back up. Niko always got back up. He was taken out of his thoughts when the lady, Jennifer stood. He picked up the folders and got up following Andrew and Neil out the door. Nikoshi was still sitting in his chair, he was singing his legs slowly and seemed fixated on his hands.

“Nikoshi, these gentlemen here are going to be your new guardians,” Niko looked up at them. He got a better look at there faces, now that the glasses were off he could easily recognize who the taller man was with the chess piece on his cheek bone. He was confused o say the least. This had to be some sick joke, or a stupid stuPID dream. He looked at the other too, the screw that littered the red heads tan face and the man with blond hair and black studs.

“Deadass?” He blurted out suddenly. Fuck. He did not mean to blurt that out. Kevin day looked taken back by his statement and the other too snickered from slightly behind him. The lady looked horrified.

Riko used to self harm, stop eating for days, wouldn’t sleep for days either. His uncle had to force him into a tube feeder once because of this. Kevin and Riko had to see a therapist and she diagnosed Riko. His uncle disregarded it and gave him sum type of pills that made Riko’s anger at himself turn down a bit but he was more depressed. He tried to commit 3 times after. Kevin made him promise not to. He flushed the pills and started to abuse others.

Kevin explains this to Neil and Andrew. They then try to learn more about BPD. They watch youtube videos, read articles and books on it till they had a better understanding of the disorder. They learn about the self-destructive tendencies and suicidal gestures that are quite common with the disorder. They all try there best to build a good support system.

Niko has a hard time with his identity and ‘who he is’, he tries to remember that Kevin wants him and isn't going to abandon him, he tries to keep his shifts in moods to himself but in only makes things worse. He tends to shut down in his room more often then not. He finds himself getting angry at little things knowing he shouldn’t but he still does. Anger attacks aren't as bad as the empty feeling he gets sometimes.

When Niko meets all the foxes he drifts more towards Nicky for whatever reason. He finds that he like Nickys happy vibes and feels it radiate from him. He likes to soak in it.

Niko likes talking to Neil, he gets candy from Andrew, and he likes playing Exy with Kevin. He didn’t like school and says it’s hard for him but he still makes honor roll no problem.

During the second month of school when he first started living with Kevin he expriences racism for maybe the first time. He didn’t have any friends, nor knew anybody. He could tell he was different from the other kids. They were mostly white with a splash of color here and there. The way they talked and walked was different then how he did. He didn’t grew up with white picket fences like they seemed to. They dressed different too. He didn’t like the stares he was getting from the kids in his class.

“Nice hair are you a girl?” One of the boys said, with his little click at his back. It was recess and Niko stuck to staying to himself drawling in his note book that Andrew gave him.

“No.” The boys continued to laugh. He hated when people talked about his hair. He didn't like his hair. Especially when his foster mothers always tugged and pulled on it. That wasn't just it though. It reminded him of his foster father Mr. James.

“Such pretty hair.”

The boys crept closers and Niko started to feel closed in. One of them pulled out scissors and two grabbed him by the shoulders. One talked about how there dad said them Black boys need to cut there hair. Another used a slur Niko heard a lot back in the Bronx, used it himself when with the kids in the neighborhood but he never heard it used like this. He started to struggle but another one grabbed his face and held him down so his face fell between his knees. He felt chuncks of hair being cut of from his head as they fell down his back and some at his feet.

He felt his eyes water and struggled harder. He kicked the one to his right in the shin, knowing how much it hurt from when he played soccer with out shin guards. The kids let go of that shoulder and he swung his arm hitting another kid. They all let go once they heard a teacher yell at them. Niko reached for the scissors and threw them in the grass. The boys ran away and Niko was left to look at the small and large chunks of his hair on the concrete. He didn’t mean to bother anybody. He didn't ask to have this type of hair. He didn’t ask to be different. Sometimes he missed the Bronx but then remembered his foster sister getting shot, and his doped up foster parents he used to end up with. He didn't want to go back, but he found himself missing it sometimes.

Nobody asked abut his hair during the rest of the school day. Not even his teacher. Its fine he didn't want to bother anybody. When Andrew came to pick him up he was wearing his hoodie. Today Neil and Andrew were coming over, so was Aaron. Aaron practically lived with him and Kevin now though. He said nothing on the way home. He didn't want to bother them. He was trying his hardest not to.

But then he got home he went straight to the bathroom and locked the door. He didn’t hear Kevin nor Aaron calling him. He stared in to the mirror and glared at himself. Disgusting. You look like a girl. He ripped off his hood and he felt something in himself crack. His hair was clearly uneven. Some areas you couldn’t tell but he could see how his curls on his forehead were shortened compared to the pieces on the sides. He could tell where every spot was that had been cut, like there were circles showing him where to look. A broken sob cut through his throat. The tears rolled down his cheeks. He always thought he was an ugly crier. He grabbed his hair and pulled. He kept pulling till he felt arms wrap around his torso. He wanted to fight who ever they were off but he couldn't. They grabbed his hands but they couldn't pry them from his hair. He heard someone calling his name and found a face to that voice. He noticed another person accompanied him in the mirror. Holding on to him. It wasn’t his voice he heard though. He saw the other three at the bathroom entrance but it was Aaron standing closest to him.

“Niko its okay, let go buddy.” He didn’t know if he meant his hands or his feelings but he let them go. He saw more pieces of hair fall through his hands but ignored it and them screamed. Kevin turned him around and held him again. Kevin lowered himself to his knees to let Niko cry and scream into his neck. He rubbed his back till he calmed down. Neil and Andrew left to prepare some ice cream and play music. Kevin noticed the hair that fell to the floor and so did Aaron. It didn’t match the amount that should still be connected to his head.

Niko told them what happened at school with less emotion then he displayed before. They were all furious but chose to keep it inside to comfort Niko. They called the school and told them what happened. The school apologized but Kevin still wasn't letting Niko go back to that school. He transferred Niko to another and reassured him it was okay and it was the same distance anyways. They took Niko to the babor shop and they evened out his hair. He got it cut some on the sides as well, allowing the back and top to be longer. His hair showed more off his forehead and ear piercings now. He felt more exposed, but was happy with the hair cut.

When he meets Dan she gives him oils and creams to put in his hair. Even showed him how to wash it too, Matt helps. He got to meet there kids.

Allison braided his hair down for when he graduated Elementary School. She teaches how how to do other things like twist, braids, and box braids.

When he goes to college Renee helps him bleach the ends of his hair blond.

He has nightmares often. And likes to have hot chocolate to calm his nerves. He gets irritated easily, they learn. When he gets irritated he stops talking and fidgets, tapping his foot and cracking his knuckles.

Kevin’s night terrors slowly fade as Riko’s dark shadow fades into Nikos warm glow.

Niko definitely learns how to skateboards when Aaron gives him his old one. Kevin likes to watch them practice it together. Just like Aaron likes to watch Kevin teach Niko Exy. He joins a team in Middle School. He's definitely going to be something.

Hope you guys like this. Leave ask and suggestions about Nikoshi Doe. I would love to hear about it and write the prompts.

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thrrice · 3 years

Note

[ smooches ]

valentine’s interactions. [ smooches ] to kiss my muse on the lips.

lupercalia is almost upon us.

the thought is relentless, spoken into her mind with prudence’s voice ( she can’t even tell if it’s their telepathy or just her own mind scolding her. ) it nibbles at the edges of her consciousness like an itch----which she tries very hard not to scratch, and fails miserably. lupercalia is coming, nearing at a frightening pace, and here she is once again: poor, poor dorcas. the desperate sister. the leftover. she grinds her teeth.

prudence is the queen of the academy - she has been for years, even before they’d started their studies. she can have anyone she wants, and she does. last year she’d gotten nicky. this year, well. dorcas can’t remember his name, but he has this straight nose and these plump lips and these broad shoulders and OH, she despises him!

and agatha. dorcas doesn’t want to hold a grudge - she loves her sister dearly, and she would never deny her anything she asked for. so when agatha had said, decisively, that nick is HERS this year, dorcas had sewed her mouth shut in a tight-lipped smile and nodded her head. submissive. docile. whatever it takes for her sisters to love her.

perhaps she had wanted nick. perhaps he is the only boy at the academy she actually likes, one of the few whose names she bothers to remember. but now here she is, all alone in an abandoned hallway. forsaken. left behind. AGAIN.

until there’s a voice behind her, soft and melodic. she turns to face ambrose spellman.

it takes a moment for her to realize she’s pouting, brows furrowed and arms crossed, legs folded under her; all the makings of an angry toddler. she attempts to compose herself, but it’s too late. judging by the grin on his face, ambrose has already taken her in, in all her childish glory. and then he asks what’s wrong.

dorcas is speaking before she can stop herself, before she can think, a pout pulling on her lips again. “I don’t like that no one likes me,” is what comes out, and it sounds stupid, and whiny, so she decides to continue. can’t get any worse than this. “it’s lupercalia and I’m all alone,” her voice is tender and sad. “again.”

ambrose sits down beside her, and there’s a buzzing in dorcas’ ears, so she barely hears him when he says that TECHNICALLY it isn’t lupercalia yet, and that he’s right there so she’s not alone anymore, and that-------

dorcas turns so they’re face to face, thighs only barely brushing, her frown fully twisting her features now. she stares at him, unable to say anything more----she’s already shown far too much vulnerability for one day. she hopes he still thinks she’s pretty, at least. she doesn’t have much else left at this point. or, that’s what she thinks, but then ambrose spellman, ever so unpredictable to her, ever the mystery, cups her cheek gently and leans closer.

before she knows what’s happening, he’s kissing her, and dorcas decides that maybe being sad is okay, if this is what it gets you.

his hand comes to hold the back of her neck, his palm somehow rough and smooth at the same time, fingers digging into her skin but also barely there. she has never understood him and she doesn’t think she ever will, but right now, that doesn’t feel like it matters. she kisses him back, softly at first. and then not so much.

hand on his jaw, the other on his shoulder, dorcas lets herself be pulled into his lap as the kiss continues. he’s warm and soft against her, a hard body, a gentle soul. she likes it, kisses him harder, swallowing the sounds he makes in the back of his throat. dorcas smiles against his lips and bites, gently, as gently as she ever has. she feels LOVELY when he touches her, a small miracle. fingers grab at her thigh, weave into her hair, he’s everywhere, a shadow, a ghost, an embrace, holding her like she’s both dangerous and fragile. she likes it. she’s never been this breathless before.

it doesn’t even matter to her if ambrose is the most exprienced in this department, or the most talented, or if he’s been under house arrest for almost a century until very recently. she’ll be alright with anything if he just keeps doing whatever it is that he’s doing, that thing that makes her feel like something that’s worthy of worship. she sighs into his mouth and he drinks it down, caressing her. adoring her. she’s never been adored----she hadn’t imagined it would feel like THIS.

when they finally pull back for air, panting into each other’s mouths, she looks at him with wonder, like he’s a dark woods, a tornado of flowers, a wildfire. he feels like it, she thinks as she moves away, sliding back into her seat beside him. a wonder of nature. a storm of warmth. disasterous. beautiful.

she likes him more than she’d expected to, and then something dawns on her.

“so,” she starts, and she’s grinning, wide, genuine, just a little mischievous. “you and me. lupercalia.” a moment passes in silence and her smile falters. she leans a little closer, touches her hand to his knee. it might not be visible but she’s trembling inside: insecure, frightened. terrified of being rejected again. “right?”

when he nods a giggle escapes her, and finally, she rises to her feet and leaves, with one last look over her shoulder. she’s pleased, content. warm. she hums to herself even as she hears screaming in her head, a thousand alarms going off all at once. prudence won’t like this!

for once, dorcas just can’t bring herself to care.

#spellcasted #i genuinely think this is the longest ask reply ive ever written in my life so like....that record is yours and i hope u enjoy it #its after 1am so thjis is probably bad i cant tell my eyes are burning #idk have fun ily #( ANSWERED / there is something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls )

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aspiestvmusings · 4 years

Text

Personal, unpopular opinion on grief [ZEP S1 EDITION]

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SENSITIVE TOPICS: GRIEF & DEATH OF LOVED ONES. DO NOT READ IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT NOT HANDLE READING ABOUT SUCH TOPICS.

This post was inspired by ZEP (”Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist” & the Season 1 storyline...that is related to Zoey’s dad, Mitch & what’s we all knew would happen..soon/in the S1 finale. His death. And the grief.., other characters feelings about what’s to come and (now) what’s happened.

In this post I will discuss some of the things related to grief that the show/storyline (creator, writers) talk about, and that the cast talk about. How they talk about grief. And I will discuss some of the things related to death & grief...from my personal experience.

But first, I'd like to start with a few important points:

1. All humans (and all fictional characters) are different. So we all process things differently & act differently...in same/similar situations. This also applies to grief and grieving, and feelings about life & death. These characters way of dealing with grief is “valid”, and so is mine. But its just strange that only one POV seems to be represented on the show...mostly (and yes, we see it all through Zoey’s eyes, so it’s her POV that dominates)

What would have worked better on ZEP... IMO:

What I would have appreciated from the show is for them to show both sides more. To have characters express different views on grief, and death. More, and longer than they did with Deb in 1x11 & Howie’s speech to Zoey in 1x12. It would’ve been more believable if not everyone was seeing it the same way...if there’s been counter-arguments.

Like...regarding the idea that only someone, who has had the exact same experience (lost their dad/husband), would understand you/your grief. They really hammered that “truth” with Zoey/Simon grief connection. And even a bit with Zoey finding another widow, Deb, to talk to her mom...cause she herself hadn’t lost a husband of 30+ years...so she would not understand (but, really, it’s more about her inability to deal with/express her emotions, and hiding them, and needing help with understanding others emotions...which her new sperpower is supposed to help her with]. They also had the whole family deal with it all pretty similarily.

Just have one character tell Zoey that she doesn’t need someone with the same experience to have them understand her, and support her, and help her through this. That having the same experience does not automatically mean “instant connection”. Because...every death/experience is different, and so are Zoey’s & Simon’s...so it doesn’t even make sense to me that they’d automatically connect cause both lost their fathers. Why did no one point that out to her? Why did no one ever pose a counter argument?

And why does she/the show seem to think that no one else has the same experience and/or would understand? I mean...most adults have lost someone by the time they turn 25... so if we’d get to know the characters more, we’d probably learn all of them have lost someone (maybe not a parent, but perhaps a grandparent?) They did that...a bit..with Joan & her mom story in 1x10. But again... too little, too “late”. She would’ve really needed to hear those things...sooner. Realizing that she can connecct to others...and others can connect to her. That all it takes is someone who wants to help her...and be there for her... whether they have the same experience or not. (maybe Tobin has lost someone, and it would’ve been helpful for Zoey to connect to him/talk to him?

This made it really hard (read: impossible) to “get” their grief bond, or take it “seriously”: Because the idea that no one questioned this just seemed ..strange. Sure..Zoey definitely believes this to be true, but... for no other character to question the validity of it... just seemed... too... strange. And since I personally don’t think that one needs to have the same experience to understand other person, and be the shoulder they lean on...but that instead it just takes someone who knows you and wants to be there for you... it was difficult to buy the whole “grief bond” they were selling.

Which is probably why I never got their “connection”. And only saw it as lust from both sides, and just her/them displacing their greif...and nothing more. So that...and the fact that as human as having feelings for someone else while youre engaged is, I DO NOT support the storyline which tries to say that just because Simon is hot it’s ok for him to have an emotional affair with Zoey while he’s engaged. That somehow the hotness factor makes it OK, cause it’s “very human”, and “grief made him do it”. Nope...I’d quote Mo here, just replacing “powers” with “grief”. Mo’s words to her “Don’t blame the powers grief. This one’s all on you.” apply here...IMO. They both need to do better!

And I also had a hard time “believing” that a brain-person like Zoey (she’s a coder, problem-solver) would be so irrational, and even though she’s also presented as “a hot mess kind of person”, her irrationality & behaviours just seemed not something I’d expect from someone like her. I, too, see world s black & white. So this is why to me two options remain: either she is just shouting cichees & lies to others OR she is out-of-character (by choice, not cause of grief or powers). I mean... she understood issues with grief and gave great advice to Simon since ep 1...yet she herself did the opposite. She made all the mistakes he had made (not learning from him, but choosing the same wrong route, not taking her own advice: talk to someone..etc).

For me, personally, I cannot “connect” with the characters (Clarke family...or the showrunner, whose said that his experiences/feels are represented by the characters) and their grief, even though I’ve had similar exprience (with my dad ... though it wasn’t a rare disease, but cancer). But no two people, not two different deaths are similar. And I guess I (and my family) are less emotional & more logical...when it comes to topics of life & death. Our (and especially mine) view is more like the other option Howie, the caregiver, presented to Zoey as they ate ice cream and talked about what’s to come..in the S1 finale.

I have, in general, a hard time buying the show, because I’m just too logical and brain person, and this is still a TV show...even if it’s based on real life events. It’s still adapted, and fictional elements have been added...to fit it for screen. So... since it was hard for me to believe that in all the prior months...ever since Mitch had been diagnosed... no one had really done any of the things they all suddenly came up with...

Like realizing there are ways to communicate with Mitch ( or...try to communicate with him)...even if he can’t really speak or move. Suddenly Zoey has an idea to create a computer programme which lets her dad type his messages. Like..she’s smart, and tech savvy...and in no way do I find it believeble that she’d not thought of this before she got her superpower...and was motivated only by hearing his thoughts. Did no doctor inform them about the details of her fathers condition? Did everone claim he is already unable to understand speech etc...with 100% certainty? Did none of them just try to talk to him...etc...without being sure he can hear/understand...still? You know...like they encourage talking to people in coma, for example.

Like...coming to the idea of a chairlift...before Mitch actually fell..while being helped up the stairs. What did they do all the prior months? When he’d already lost the ability to walk? When he still was able to talk? For a family that is so close, I find it quite unbelievable that they never talked about...anything. Even if they touched upon this in episode 1x11 when Zoey asked Maggie why they didnt do any of the planning sooner, she claims none of them expected it to happen so fast. Like...their doctor seems OK, so how are they so uninformed? When we know that Zoeys style is to read up on all the topics she wants to know about. She would read all the research there is...so she’d know... quite a bit.

Like them thinking that a temporary improvement means a “cure”. None of them are clueless, they’re all smart, so I don’t also buy them not knowing that this is progressive, and there is no cure, and after the person loses as many abilities as Mitch had by the time we met this family (hard to swallow, no speech...), then they don’t have much time left. Same with these smart people not knowing that based on several observations... most people report that dying people usually become “alert/more responsive”..just before the end. So... Mitch having a good day the day before he died was a clear sign he’s about to die.

Like...if we actually analyse it, it seems as if they “stood still” for months...ever since Mitch was diagnosed. And then suddenly...”thanks” to Zoey’s superpower, they start getting ideas, and do stuff, and talk to each other... which doesnt seem to have happened...at all... during all the prior months. How?

It just seems too much “done to fit the TV format”, and it doesn’t seem to make much sense...actually...

MY OWN EXPERIENCES:

I lost my first grandfather when I was a kid & he was only in his 60s (so quite young). That was an unexpeted & sudden event that no one saw coming (example: heart attack, stroke). I lost my other grandparents when I was in my 20s (they both lived a full life: 84 & 92...and were ready to go) & I lost my last grandma last year (she was almost 89...and outlived her husband by around 25 years)...after her health had been declining... for a while. And I lost my father about 3 years ago (he was in his 60s)... knowing he had max 6 months left by then.

I will talk, a bit, about my dad, who died 3 years ago, in 2017, and my finnish grandma, who died last year...just a month before her 89th birthday.

**************************************

With my dad... I had kinda lost him once before, because 5 years earlier he had a serious health issue, and his heart stopped on the operating table. But he was revived. And though he was in a coma for over a week, he did survive, and had no permanent damage. He had to go through extensive physiotherapy and learn to walk properly again, and hold a spoon again (fine motorskills), but his mind/brain/memory was unharmed. But...nonetheless, I sat beside him while he was in a coma, and I sat beside him after he had woken up...

That health issue lead to his cancer diagnosis though...cause without it he’d never gone to see a doc on his own, and wouldn’t have known, probably. He was stage 3 when diagnosed, and though he tried all kinds of different treatment options, it progressed to stage 4 (that’s what lifetime of smoking does to your lungs!), and by 2016 he had metastasis in his spine..etc, and it was clear he had months/max a year left. It was a guesswork though how long exactly.

But his medicine cabinet was more impressive than Mitch’s by the end. It got more serious at the end of 2016, and he basically survived with extra oxygene (help from a “ventilator”) & “morphine”. He probably would’ve kept himself alive for several more months, but he had a health issue in January 2017, and his body was just too weak (from chemo, from treatments from...) that he didn’t make it this time. And though I/we had longer than a year to “prepare”, these fictional characters also had time...

Yet, for me, personally, that death was not as hard. (in all honesty, I’d been expecting his cancer diagnosis since I was in highschool... I honestly couldn’t believe he had any lungs left...with his heavy smoking)

*****************************************

For me, personally, the hardest was my other grandma’s end of life.. The one who died last year. But not the death...but her last years instead. And though my first grandma (who died almost 15 years ago) had memory issues during her last years, cause she’d had 2 stokes & she kept mixing up people & events (calling people by wrong name, mixing us up), she had my grandpa by her side...til the end. But with my other grandma... whose health had been declining...step by step..over past 5-10 years, it was different. To the point that my aunt/her daughter was her guardian, cause she wasn’t capable of making her own decisions anymore... even if at times she had a clear mind. And one of those times was her last, 88th Birthday in 2018.

She never vebalized it...never was able to say the words (though she did talk... a bit), but I could see it in her eyes/look... she wanted to go... but “modern medicine” was keeping her body alive. And for me it was hard, because I am a supporter of a persons choice to choose assisted ending, but I’m the only one in the family who really supports this. And since she never actually said the words, and since I could not be 100% sure that what I thought I “read in her eyes” was what she was actually thinking, I could not be sure. But I considered her last 1-2 years of life just torture for her. So... as sad as I was, I was relieved when I got the call a year ago, on May 26th (exactly one month before her next birthday would’ve been)...that she’d died, I was happy that she “didn’t have to suffer anymore”. We scattered her ashes one month later, in last June, on what would have been her 89th birthday.

If my mom and aunt, who were there with her during her lasts days, would have told me the day before how “perky” she seemed the day before she passed, I would’ve known that it’s about to happen. But they told me when they called after it had happened.

Death has never been something to fear in our family. My grandparents (their story is like a fairytale, where after she was gone he had "no reason to hold onto life anymore”, so he went just 4 months later...) even prepped everything themselves. They were prepared, though Mo on the show is more prepared. They had everything chosen & organized & planned (the plot, the main details), so everything was done according to their “notes” basically. With others it’s been more general...like where (which cemetary) they wanna be buried and/or cremated.

Yes, there is a lot under the (and etcetera)...from dealing with subsciptions on the persons name... to the bank... to job related stuff... next to the actual “burial event”. And while a good funeral home helps you a lot... and does a lot of the work for you (transportation...etc), then there is a lot that you/the family have to do before/after all this. But still... it’s not that difficult to get it all done. I did half the work when my dad died (lots of calls, emails, visits to offices/banks...etc).. to deal with all the paperwork and more.

I understand that I may sound like a cold person to many, but in my experience death & funerals have never been “end of the world”...like they’re often done on TV. Cause in most cases they only show death & grief in one way on TV.... as “end of the world drama”. When we need more POV’s like the other option Howie represented to Zoey. (and then the characters can choose which was is their way)

So...honestly, I have a hard time “connecting” with the ZEP season 1 grief plot....the way it was done. Even though I can draw many parallels between Mitch(’s health) & my dad(’s health). We knew that he had not much left, but he ended up going faster & “unexpectedly” so he was gone about a month after his health took a turn to the worse...and we had known that all there was left to do was to wait...

And yet, based on most of the online comments, reviews, etc..I’ve seen online, most find it easy to connect, and “feel the same way” and I seem to be alone in my “weirdness” and different look at the grief and greif storyline.

AM I ALONE IN THINKING THIS WAY? (MOST LIKELY)

Did anyone else find it hard to believe the Zoey/SImon “grief connection” they tried to establish?

Did anyone else find it hard to believe that such a close family had just been sitting & waiting for months (ever since last year, when Mitch was diagnosed), and not done anything....until Zoey’s superpower makes them magically start taking all sorts of steps?

Did anyone think that the focus was not enough of the family, da/daughter, and grief...and too much on the love triangle? (even if the two storylines are connected...strongly)

#ZEP #ZOEY'S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST #ZOEYS EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST #ZOEY'S EP #PERSONAL #UNPOPULAR OPINION #GRIEF #DEATH AND GRIEF #ZEP SEASON 1 #ZEP S1 #SEASON 1 #MY THOUGHTS #ABOUT ME #I WISH I WOULD NOT ANALYSE AND DISSECT EVERY DETAIL ON TV SHOWS...#IT IS WHAT IT IS #LONG POST #TEXT POST

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brianandthemays · 5 years

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At the End of the Day (Brian May x reader)

A/NY Y’all know I love me some Brian so this was a cathartic exprience for me!

For: @pansexualqueendarling I hope you like it dear!

Prompt: Can I has Brian fluff? Like, reader had a shit ass fucking day and Brian is all like "no, love. Not while I'm around." And cuddles and soft singing and small kisses?

Warnings; SO. Much. Fluff.

Word Counts:1115

________________________________________________

You pull up into your drive way and just sit in your car for a moment. You had just experienced one of the worlds worst days and you felt like screaming. Your day started with a plate of coffees being split all over your white blouse. You were able to cover up the stain with a jacket but it only when downhill from there. Your project, the pitch for which you had been working day and night on for weeks, got turned down and you had been put on your rivals project and he was determined to make your life a living hell; he would give you mundane tasks that anyone could do even though he knew you had the skills to be doing something more important. Then, to top of your wonderful day, your car got a flat on the way home and you didn’t have a spare. You had to wait 30 minutes on the side of the road for someone to stop and help you. You take a deep breath, grab a bag and step out of your car. You hobble in the front door closing the door behind you and just sighing so loudly.

“Darling! Are you home! I have a surprise for you!”

Brian was home. Brian was never home before you. You put your hand to your head and shake your head. You really didn’t have the energy to do anything with Brian tonight. You just wanted to go to bed and pretend this whole day never happened. You slip off your shoes near the door and start walking into the house.

‘Hey, Bri! I’m sorry, love, but I just want to go to bed tonight I-“ You stopped dead when you saw what he meant by surprise. Brian was staring at you next to a beautifully put together dinner table. There were two wine glasses full, accompanying a lovely steak dinner with spinach and bread. The house was clean, and you realized he had done it all for you. You felt your eyes start to water, feeling ashamed of yourself to brushing him off so easily. Brian’s eyes filled with concern and he starts to walk towards you as you choke back a sob.

“Darling, what’s the matter.” He wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your back up and down. You bury your head into his chest and just let the tears fall, unable to speak just yet. He bent down and hummed softly in your ear to try and calm you down. You finally compose yourself enough to pull back and look at him, keeping your arms on his biceps, trying not to lose contact with him.

“I just had the most horrendous day, and here you are” You gesture to the table “just being so sweet and I just brushed you off, I’m so sorry.”

He shushed you and brought you back to his chest. He swayed you back and forth, running his hand through your hair.

“You have no need to apologize.” He placed a kiss to the top of your head. Put his finger up to your chin, moving it up so you looked at him. He brushed the tears from your cheeks and smiles at you. “Now let’s see a smile, eh?” You bring your hand to wrap around wrist and give him a watery smile. “That’s my girl, now you aren’t allowed to have bad days as long as I’m around.” He smirked. He took you hand and leading you to the table. He pulled your chair out for you, to help you sit before pulling his chair, so it was right next to yours. He squeezed your hand, and rubbed his thumb over the top, “Tell me all about your day.”

You go into your story, telling him everything about your day. From the coffee to the flat tire, you don’t hold back a single detail. The whole time, Brian gives you his undivided attention, nodding along and giving your hand a reassuring squeeze every now and then.

“And then I came home, and I saw you, and I forgot everything.” You finish, finally just staring into his eyes. He smiled warmly at you before leaning in to give you a soft kiss on your lips. You sigh into the kiss before pulling away and resting your head on his shoulder.

He looked down at you, with a sympathetic gaze “You know how incredibly proud I am of you?” he began. You glance up at him, his gaze was resting on yours. “You’re so strong, and you work so hard and if those fools at your work can’t see that then fuck them” He place a kiss to your forehead “Now how about we have a bath together, huh?”

“That sounds really nice, Bri.” You admit, leaning back from him.

That’s how you found yourself 20 minutes later, sitting on the toilet seat watching Brian prepare a bath in a robe. He was on his knees with a hand in the water check the temperature.

“Okay, I think it’s ready.” He said over his shoulder. You smile at him wondering what on earth you did to deserve this man. He looked over at you, seeing your gaze he smirked and grabbed your hands, pulling you up off the seat. The he took off your robe and stared at your body, biting his lip. You push on his chest playfully shaking your head. “Not tonight baby.” You giggle stepping into the tub.

“I know! I’m just admiring.” He raised his hands in defense, following you inside. You sat with your back resting on his chest, comfortable leaning back against him with his arms around your waist. He moved his hands from your waist to your shoulders, lightly giving you a massage. You moan at the sensation and lean forward slightly. “That feels so good, baby.” You groan. He smiled and placed a few kisses along your back.

“I’m sorry you had a bad day, love.” He murmured against your skin. You shivered at the feeling and lean back into his embrace. He wrapped his arms back around you resting his head on your shoulder. “You deserve so much happiness, dear.”

“Nothing in the world makes me happier than being with you, Bri.” You sigh turning to kiss his cheek. You settle into his shoulder and close your eyes, drifting off into a pleasant sleep. He watched you a while longer, making sure you stayed warm in his grasp. You were his entire world, and he would do anything to make sure you were happy. He kissed your forehead one more time before closing his eyes and just relaxing in his domestic bliss.

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borathae · 2 years

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I am back again. I will finally talk about ATE. First of all I am so happy that you gifted us with a sequel. I enjoyed it so much. Warrior Yoongi is to die for. And them being back home as a couple😍

I love that we got his perspective. Seeing her through his eyes after everything they experienced together. Swooning over her.

I am glad she got the return appropriate for a Queen.

That warmth in their eyes awww

How Hyrophica noticed their changed behavior, their happiness is visible.

Of course the court has to judge him.

Don't leave.

He is so scared. I feel for him. After all those years of humiliation, he doesn't feel worthy😢😢

This gentle affection to reassure him🥺🥺

Opening his long hair, a dream.

Their actions speak so loud. Their love is so tender, so sweet.

I love how they can casually communicate with each other. They are able to speak about their insecurities. And it's so healthy. You are clearly THE writer when it comes to healthy relationships. I love how you show it in every story of yours.

She knows how to take care of him.

One of the best aspects of this story is the character development. The princess/now Queen has come so far. She learned how to treat people right, specially the servants. She tries to be a better version of herself every single day and it deserves so much respect. She chooses to continue her mother's legacy and it's beautiful.

Her "friends"🤮 I knew this moment would come. They are so awful.

She stands up for Yoongi and doesn't tolerate this treatment and it's honestly one of my favorite scenes.

She is so soft for him.

The 'he is so beautiful' part makes me so mushy🥺🥺

This cute banter between them...

And her soft dom tendencies. Yes, ruin him😏

Bathing together, please🥺 After they talked about it in ATJ, they finally got to enjoy themselves together.

This honesty with each other is so admirable. They are grieving and they will grieve but they have each other for support. And they know exactly how much their mother meant to them.

It's honestly always this build up for sexual tension.

And now the making out🥵

Princess is a superior nickname.

They are so cute and sexy at the same time.

This only getting better.

Their dynamic is so good.

There are only a few things that are hotter than making out while taking a bath.

Warrior Yoongi upside down with his long blond hair on the ground while she is edging him, wow.

He can be such a tease. He knows exactly what he's doing.

I love how it's a give and get.

I am so happy for them.

She lets him beg🥵

Their connection is so clearly visible.

Love making at its finest.

starlight omg this is it😍😍

It was so good. It was so worth it. Thank you so much💜 Catching up is so fun.

🌟

AAAAH OMGMG A TIGER'S EMPIRE IS GETTING THE LOVING IT DESERVES!!! I AM SO HAPPY!!!

I love that we got his perspective. Seeing her through his eyes after everything they experienced together. Swooning over her.

SAMEMEMMEME I love showing the man's pov :---) give me whipped boy hours my king omgmg 🥺🥺

Opening his long hair, a dream.

I think about this an unhealthy amount 🙂🙂

You are clearly THE writer when it comes to healthy relationships. I love how you show it in every story of yours.

Thank you so much. I'm gonna overshare here because I am poor and I can't afford therapy so I'll use this asks for a quick self-therapy session. But as of recently I had no idea how healthy relationships look like. Friends dropped me & ghosted me left and right, lovers cheated and lied and I just never really got to exprience how it feels like to love safely, to know that I can actually give my heart to a person because they want my best and genuinely want to be with me. And I guess in a way I had to teach myself how I want my relationships to be through my writing. So that is why I want to portray my relationships as healthy and communication-heavy as possible because I want that people reading my stories can maybe learn something through them too. Okay therapy session over

She learned how to treat people right, specially the servants. She tries to be a better version of herself every single day and it deserves so much respect. She chooses to continue her mother's legacy and it's beautiful.

WE STAN HER LITERALLY SHE IS THE BEST

Princess is a superior nickname.

ogmgmmgfgm yOU GET IT OMMGFM

Warrior Yoongi upside down with his long blond hair on the ground while she is edging him, wow.

hahhahahha I am still in pain, imagining. I have such a thing for guys having their heads tangling over the edge of the bed while you play with them mhmhmmh the flavour of this 🥴🥴

Thank you so much for this message my lovely star :( it feels so nice to know that ATE gets a lil loving too 🥺😭💜💜

#asks: a tigers empire #asks #🌟anon

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