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colourstreakgryffin · 1 day

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Hallo again! I am the one who asked about Val, it wasn't a request I was asking if you write for him so here we go!

Could it please be where reader is Valentino's son ( or just child if you don't write for male reader ) and Valentino can't find someone to trust-worthy to babysit his son so he just take him to work since reader is non-verbal anyway and won't be much of a bother?

So reader now comes regularly with him and see the other Vees as family. Perhaps Vox as another dad/uncle and Velvette as a big sister ( or any family role for them ).

Thank you for giving a look to my request!

Ooh! Right! Okay, okay. I can try this out. To be honest, Val is a monster but something tells me he wouldn’t be THAT bad with a kid of his own and yes, I do write male readers. Female, male, transgender, genderfluid(if that’s possible, idk how but I would do it anyway), nonbinary/GN! But anyways. Let’s try Val out as a dad!

Valentino- Silkworm Caterpillar

Everybody who knows the director of the Pentagram City’s Porn Industry, Valentino, is aware how much of a bastard he is; cruel, abusive, exploitative but nobody had ever suspected that he would actually one: have a son and two: treat that son better than he’s ever treated anybody, even his on-and-off boyfriend, Vox

Your dad’s an insufferable man-child but yet, he is actually pretty good with you. He doesn’t really like much things, other than you. He is awful but he feels kinda soft and fluffy whilst he is around you. You’re basically his soft spot

Valentino needs hugs and he will get them, no matter what may step in his path. You are non-verbal and mute so he cannot communicate with you properly, he just acts on his affections for you since he believes it’s fine

Valentino is that type of wingman-father. He always encourages you to get out of your comfort zone and boosts you up to look even better. He’s a close friend to you and you can hang out with him in casual settings where it almost seems like he is just your uncle, not your father

Valentino always offers to get you what you want, he is a father that spoils his seed rotten. Want a drink? He’ll get it. Want a phone? He’ll get it. Want more hugs? You’re getting them rather you want it or not. He likes it when you smile and he does very much have favouritism towards you, where he almost never raises his voice to you

Valentino is actually protective, believe it or not and he is defensive over his son. Rather said son be above ten years old, he doesn’t trust a single being in Hell. Not anybody in Vees, not any under their luck bum he picks up for hire, not any one of his assistants. Nobody. He doesn’t ever want to leave you with somebody who can cause a threat

Valentino doesn’t really want to resort to this but after some more time. He decides to stop leaving you in the Vees Tower. You’re alone and you need him so he begins to bring you to his porn studios but what he does is that he glues you to other devices so you don’t have to be uncomfortable with watching pornography

Valentino is relatively soft and gentle. Even somebody as deranged and sick as him has a moment of love and affection and it’s in his son. He could be the most pissed off and at his absolute worse but when he is greeted by his offspring, he swallows back everything to be dote on you

Valentino calls you his silkworm because you’re a little caterpillar to him. He’s the moth, you’re his caterpillar and he’d pop you on his back and spread his wings for you if he had to. He enjoys your reaction of surprise and awe at his rather beautiful moth wings. He can understand where it comes from, it’s incredible. Isn’t it? He likes it when you’re proud of him or in awe of him

Valentino is aware of your deafness. You’ve been deaf since he had you… back in human life. Believe it or not, but he did and he actually cared to get you hearing aids but after you two died, he lost a hold of hearing aids and he has literally no other methods to help you

Valentino also much prefers you like the Vees themselves and the effort proves worth it since you end up viewing his on-and-off boyfriend, Vox as a stepfather and Velvette, their close friend, as a surrogate big sister. Valentino finds your point of views on his fellow rulers rather adorable and will playfully tease you about them

Valentino is learning sign language, since now of this time, sign language has been fully developed but he is struggling and his temper makes him go from trying to giving up to trying again. He’ll get there eventually, all for you

Valentino doing aggressive sign language and failing a bit

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tanema123 · 1 day

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Ozzy: hey, zestial, buddy, want to chat?

Summary: Short drabble. After Carmilla tells Zestial her feelings and him thinking it's another guy she loves, Carmilla pulls on drastic measures. She calls the Lust ring and asks Asmodeus for help.

The talk

Asmodeus: Buddy. We need to talk.

Zestial: If I must to.... Has thou my lady been different lately. She had been telling me of thee fellow she fancied, when she suddenly walked away from me... What have Thy done wrong?!?!

Asmodeus:... Ah, yes. About that. Your lady has contacted me for support. You see Zestial...

*Zestial stares at him with his four eyes. The top left one raised to show interest and confusion. A bit of sadness on his face*

Zestial: Thou she don't want to see me?... I understand if that is so... She has a man she fancies now... It's quite common to stop communications with thy male friend if you have a new one now...

*Asmodeus gives him a blank stare*

Asmodeus: No no, Buddy, she ain't leaving you...*sighs*Like Hell, she would.... Anyways, Tell me. What is the definition of a friend to you.

Zestial: ...Someone who you hold dear and share plessentaries with... Ain't that thy definition?!?! *confused spider puppy eyes Oo×oO*

Asmodeus: Ok, good, good... *Mutters a bit under his breath* Ozzy breath, you can do this... *continues normally* And what are those plessentaries you share with Carmilla?

Zestial *smiles happily*: We... We spend it around each other. Tea times... Reading sessions... Helping her with her daughters... Doing business proposals and plans together... Taking care of our shared household... She helps me... Her presence is enough to fulfill the void that thy feel in my heart.

*Asmodeus gives him the most unamused stare ever.*

Asmodeus: ... And you never wish it was something more?

Zestial in a sad voice: How could thy not? Her smile is the most enchanting thing ever. Her intellect is one to admire. And her power and will reach bounds no man could ever reach. Truly such person that shall never feel the same as thy... And she got a fellow she fancied now...

Asmodeus: ... You are a complete fool Buddy.

Zestial: Huh? OowoO

Asmodeus:... The woman came to you. Described the exact person as you. Said she loved him and then confirmed it was you... Yet you still don't get she loves you!

Zestial: Heh? She considers me her friend.

Asmodeus glares: No... you Buffon! She has no other man but you in her life!

Zestial happier: She doesn't? Who was she talking about then. The person that looks and acts exactly like me? OovoO

Asmodeus: You are the most oblivious person I ever met. Maybe you need a comparison... you know Lilith and Lucifer, the queen and king of Hell?

Zestial:...Yes...

Asmodeus: She holds the same love they hold for each other, but to you. She loves you enough to die for you...

Zestial:...But she could never... How... Huh...????

Asmodeus: The woman has dragged you into her life. Introduced you into the family, her most precious thing. Made you a business partner. A house partner. She draggs you almost everywhere around Hell with her. She freaking slept with you in multiple occasions. You are an absolute idiot! She was talking about you! Not some other male that is like you! It was you! You Buffon! She loves you enough to marry you for REAL!

Zestial in total confusion and disbelief:.... What...

Asmodeous: She loves you for real... Let ist slowly sink in Buddy.

Zestial:... Dios mios... She loves thy for real! How.. Uhh.. *blushes green*

Asmodeus: ...Finally... You are the most oblivious fool I had to talk to. How have you survived for so long and became one of the most powerful overlords will confuse me till the day I die. Now. Go tell your lady you love her. And apologize for being a fool. Maybe buy her a nice ring. Go!

Zestial: ...Ah, yes... Right away.

*Zestial runs away quickly. Asmodeus later received a very thankful call from Carmilla Carmine. His nickname was Miracle worker from that day onward.*

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becauseimanicequeen · 12 hours

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: Unknown ep. 11

I’m just going into this episode wanting Qian and Yuan’s first kiss. That’s it. That’s all. Now, hit me with it!

Qian grabbed Yuan’s wrist. It was all the confirmation Yuan needed. I have a feeling that he will be even bolder now than what we’ve seen so far. And I love it.

Well, damn! That went from 0-100kph really fast. Yuan was starving, and I don’t blame him. He’s been starving for a loooong time. Even dreaming about it at night, it seems.

I love that Qian took the first step with the kiss. Yuan was straightforward and honest about his feelings and what he wanted (to be more than a brother, to be someone Qian could rely on, to be with Qian for the rest of his life, etc.). But Qian took the first step with the kiss. He’s finally “in his feelings” rather than trying to think it through or analyze it.

One thing I have to say I didn’t quite like about this scene, though, was the editing. I don’t mind the flashbacks (as in the flashbacks of some of their past moments) because it shows their story and adds emotional weight to the whole scene. I love that. But the buildup wasn’t there since the sequence of Yuan making his feelings clear and the kiss was chopped up and strewn here and there. For me, it would’ve been much more effective if it happened in chronological order (or if the confrontation from the previous scene had been in the same episode). The editing here fell a bit flat for me and it’s such a shame considering the potential it had of being an incredible climax of the whole series, that they were finally together. Ahhh, I don’t want to feel disappointed…

Look at them being cozy in bed! It’s Yuan’s neck kisses that do it for me…

Btw, this is probably the first time Qian has smiled when anyone has mentioned Lili and San Pang in the same sentence.

The way Yuan sneaked into his own room… lmfao!

The way I CACKLED because of Lili’s bonkers story.

A dating game? I’m getting Our Dating Sim flashbacks.

Here’s Qian, in the middle of a meeting at work, getting flashbacks of his night having sex with Yuan. 1. Absolutely understandable. 2. He’s completely whipped. So, again, understandable. 3. There’s no doubt he wants to have sex with Yuan again. And again. And again. So, once again, understandable.

The way he hit that figure and caught it before it hit the floor… Qian was clearly rattled by his daydream. And who can blame him? My legs would be shaking. (But this is not about me…)

So… The Doc and Le are fucking, right?

You know, Le is damn fine… when he doesn't look like a crazy person. Eh, who am I kidding? He’s sexy as hell when he looks like a crazy person. (I know, it’s a me-problem…)

OMG! Their date. The way I fucking laughed through the whole scene. Yuan accusing Qian of not being romantic, Qian proving the opposite, Qian’s reaction after the kiss, Long being funny as hell with the candle. Every moment was fucking golden! Excuse me as I rewind that a handful of times.

Of course, Qian’s trauma would come back up again at some point. It’s not like he’s dealt with it or been magically “healed”. I’m honestly wondering how the series will deal with his trauma (both the trauma around his childhood and his head trauma) considering there’s only half of this episode plus the next one left.

It doesn’t surprise me one bit that Qian went to the hospital by himself. I get that he doesn’t want to worry Yuan. But he isn’t even giving Yuan the chance to choose for himself.

Hitting yourself on the head won’t help…

It’s come to a point now that Qian has to tell Lili about his health. I mean, surgery seems to be the only option to get better, but the risks are too big to keep it secret.

Qian is talking as if he’s already set on dying. This is so unlike the fighter and survivor he used to be. And, of course, Yuan notices that something’s off.

Seriously, hasn’t Qian learned his lesson about not keeping something like this from Yuan?

I usually love miscommunicating (or non-communicating) characters because of the misunderstandings and drama it usually stirs up. And I love the misunderstandings and drama (in fiction, not real life, btw). BUT! This is riling me up. This is about Qian’s life. His health is in serious danger. Is it in line with his character? Yes, to a certain point. But how many times has he shown how important his family is to him? MANY! Practically the whole series so far. Why would he not want to prepare them for the possibility that he might not be around much longer? This isn’t the time to stay silent. This isn’t the time to avoid the topic. Come on, Qian. Don’t do this to Yuan. Or Lili.

Did you hear that, Qian? The Doc said to discuss it with your family.

The stress Qian is under has made him hide in an ally and start smoking again… If that blood clot in his head doesn’t kill him, the stress surely will.

Excuse me as I weep for a minute or two…

I only have one thing to say about that moment in the alley… Qian is so fucking lucky to have Yuan in his life. We’ve often talked about how lucky Yuan was that Qian found him (which is more than valid because he most likely wouldn’t have survived without Qian). But Qian is just as lucky to have Yuan in his life. Yuan single-handedly reignited the spark in Qian and brought the fighter in him back to life. And Qian needed that. He needed it to at least have a possibility to survive this.

I know I said I only wanted to mention one thing about that scene. But I have to mention Yuan biting Quan’s wrist as well, for the reason that I loved that detail. And because biting is my kind of kink. Not that this was kinky. But it does show that biting can prove a point at times.

Lili is so fucking sweet. And that hug at the end, between all three of them…

I really liked this episode, even though I felt disappointed with the editing at the beginning. But, they’re finally together and Qian has gotten his fighting spirit back.

Now there’s only one episode left and it feels bittersweet. I really don’t want this series to end…

#qots random thoughts #unknown #unknown the series #taiwanese ql #taiwanese bl #taiwanese series #my shit

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bjurnberg · 10 months

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“There’s plenty of fish in the sea”

Well maybe I’m not a fish.

Maybe this entire world you live in where you find partners to love openly and freely and it’s normal and natural is an environment where I drown.

Maybe this thing you call love can take forms you’ve never considered. Forests. Tundras. Deserts. Mountains. Stars. Maybe I need a wider view than the swift beat of waves can afford. Maybe I need slower seasons to acclimate my emotions.

No, I don’t know what my love will look like. I’ve only ever been around fish. I don’t have the words to describe what I’m longing for. But it’s certainly not in the water.

#every time I talk about my sexuality I feel like a fish out of water #then I realized I don’t have gills #what does that make me?#I used a lot of labels trying to figure this out #asexual #demisexual #aromantic #demi rose #aspec #and all of them feel nice like a warm blanket #until it gets too tight and I have to stick my foot out #I know no label has to be 100% forever #nor should they be #but hell do I want a community that understands me #a place I don’t have to explain my differences constantly #I want a partner that’s like me #where will I find him?#cuz we ain’t fish #bjurnberg

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spielzeugkaiser · 10 months

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Been feeling the 'Jaskier upset with Geralt' angst train lately if this prompt interests you

I read the word 'angst' and instantly went on board- honestly Jaskier deserves to be angry with Geralt. What always makes me go *chef's kiss* in those scenarios is that Jaskier is upset, but he doesn't want Geralt to be hurt! He always looks out for him 🥺🥺 I made Jaskier and angry-crier, because I haven't tormented my man enough. Also Jaskier being able to actually show how upset he is and Geralts self worth issues of 'distancing himself when he thinks he isn't wanted' FIGHT-

#geraskier #jaskier #geralt of rivia #the witcher #geralt x jaskier #me sitting back here and thinking about scenarios with them actually having a row #I can see it being not easy to navigate because I see Geralt being very very bad at those if he doesn't have the security #that the other one will come back / that he is wanted?#it's me thinking back to the book scene with yen and istredd again and ofc his mum #listen their relationship (if you take it as friendship or more) has always the potential for bone deep devotion but also for being SO messy #that's what I'm here forrrrr #will Jaskier defend Geralt? alwaysalwaysalways #will geralt sit with his bare ass on a nest of scorpions for Jaskier? doesn't even have to think about for a sec #do they have healthy communication skills? HELL NO #but do they better with each other than anyone else because they do have a profound understanding of each other? hell yeah!!#look at me after all that time #still invested 😔

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decolonize-the-left · 1 month

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#“decol is spreading misinfo” im just forgetful and get confused with my words sometimes im sorry 😭#literally can't stop thinking about how i fucked up defining communism earlier #im gonna need a refesher course so i can keep talking my shit 😭😭😭😭😭#a bitch dissociates too much frfr #like sometimes it does cross my mind that my blog has grown bigger than i can be responsible for but like also...#my followers/muts are dope as hell and understanding and isnt that kind of understanding and humanization for ppl like me the Point?#idk i just think a lot and i hope i always stay this mindful of the space i hold. i dont want to ever do more damage than good while im here

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arcaneyouth · 7 months

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having a chronic illness/disability and also having medical trauma is a bitch for obvious reasons but also like. being part of the disabled community n stuff. like yeah i want to show my love and support for disabled people and i dont want to be uncomfortable when they talk about their experiences. if they talk about specific experiences i will stop breathing while the panic hits me like many bricks

#negative #sorta kinda #a lot of disability posts are like 'if you are uncomfortable with (disability stuff) you need to reexamine yourself and #learn to live with it' and these posts are true and i do have biases i gotta be aware of #but theres also stuff i just cant become comfortable with. ive tried. ive been trying for a decade #it is simultaneously true that i should be allowed to avoid my triggers and that other disabled people shouldnt have to be aware that #im triggered by them existing #i dont feel bad about that i just feel bad that i am apart of this community too but theres spaces i just cant be in #its the same kind of thing with like. so you'll never find me putting my ocs in a medical setting #i could potentially do it since i know exactly what triggers me and what doesnt but its easier to just avoid it in my stories #but the thing about my chronic illness is its. an invisible illness #and a lot of the things i could bring up for my readers to understand they have My Illness are. things that trigger me #and again. i have tried so hard to be more comfortable with these triggers #its not happening. it is likely i will panic about this stuff the rest of my life #so now theres a disconnect between me and my ocs that are like me because i cant make them like me without freaking out #its just. man what the hell.#my disability that gave me medical trauma is preventing me from participating in disabled spaces i want to be part of #what the fuck dude

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dennisboobs · 4 months

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i think one of the biggest issues in modern fandom is that despite the abundance of autistic/adhd/audhd fans, a declaration that cringe culture is dead, and the fact that we're all watching the same show, there is large portion of people who participate in fandom as a popularity contest, where the focus shifts off of the main interest and develops almost a secondary hyperfixation with specific creators, blogs, accounts, in a way that at least borders on parasocial.

this is nothing new, but the attitude that springs from it then dictates a specific Way to interact with that fandom, meaning that those who aren't interested in following select clique leaders are outcast and seen as More Cringe because they don't speak or act within acceptable parameters. when people have a platform, there's a pressure to be funny, be entertaining, to produce more Content that your followers WANT to see, the stuff they followed you for. sometimes this leads to plagiarism, ripping off posts from other platforms or lesser known accounts because you feel a compulsion to post ANYTHING for engagement instead of what you WANT to post. speaking from experience here, i am something of a Former YouTuber with a sizeable following, and i've been through it on other social media with several other fandom sideblogs and shit.

different platforms, different friend groups, different subsections – depending on preferred characters, ships, etc. – are inevitably going to be far more insular, and especially long-time fans who are less interested in the general media and more about a selection of specific interests is going to fall into this trap eventually. however, i think social media influences this more now than it did even a few years back, especially on twitter where it's more difficult to find "content" without a well-known account attached.

a while back someone made an always sunny iceberg that had a bunch of shit i had never seen before, despite having personally trawled the waybackmachine and archived a bunch of semi-lost media, running and overhauling the wiki with its decades of collected trivia, and having been on sunnyblr. a lot of it was from the podcast, but the stuff i had no recollection of was obscure ass sunnytwt drama that only involved like. a very small group of individuals. the thing is that these few accounts are minor celebrities in the fandom, and everyone follows them. i myself followed one or two of them when i first got into the fandom because they were posting clips reblogged by non-sunny mutuals. there are a TON of sunny focused accounts on twirter, but only a few that have multi-thousand followings, primarily for this reason. this is essentially your only gateway into the sunny fandom on twitter. here (on tumblr), you can easily look in the tags and curate your followed blogs (or look at the iasip subreddit) but it's a lot harder to find fandom content without that organized space (most people don't specifically tag tweets), instead you have to rely on the few sunny accounts you followed incidentally to deliver you retweets so you can follow more accounts.

so then what happens? you follow more accounts? see a variety of sunny content? follow a tag to see fandom newcomers' posts, art, fics? no, you follow the same 5 accounts you started with and stay in the echo chamber, caught up in drama and taking sides based on your few mutuals' opinions, maybe things get a little too personal and you stay following someone even though you disagree with their posts because you really don't have much of a choice, they can see if you unfollow, and they put posts on your timeline. you make a private account and start quote retweeting them to get out your irritations, a passive aggressive reminder that they're wrong. your other mutual quote retweets someone calling them stupid, and you also decide to tell them how wrong they are, because it's a popularity contest, not an open discussion. there's a Content Draught during the hiatus and people start getting bored. it becomes less and less about the original show, and more about the cliques, the exciting new drama of the day, the actors.

new fans are lost, long-time fans who don't care about all this extra shit are alienated, and it leads to a very odd type of gatekeeping that has these Elevated fans looking down on people for actually wanting to engage with the source media. yes, this includes the fans on reddit who spout quotes. this includes the people who liveblog their first time watching the show. this includes people who care about the show because it's still fresh and exciting and they haven't yet been made to feel that it's something to hide because it's cringey or dated or stupid to take it Too Seriously theorizing and dissecting the Poop and Fart Show.

I am guilty of all of this too, i think for quite a while i've been feeling like i need to defend myself by lashing out at other people because i am extremely sensitive to being made fun of for actually caring about my special interest. but i think that analysis and criticism (within reason) are extremely important facets of fandom and we as a fandom should be trying to encourage that rather than make fun of other fans. i think this is probably the reason for a lot of the issues with fan superiority, gatekeeping, the general awful atmosphere in the fandom. it's easy to complain and make counter content to someone else's post, it's a lot harder to grow the balls to have a proper in-depth lore discussion with them, or better yet, make your own stuff. ive been joking about a fandom-wide rewatch, but i genuinely think we should organize something like that. and i think everyone should set aside the judgement and just enjoy themselves. i'm sick and tired of feeling unwelcome in a fandom that i dedicate a lot of time to because i'm unashamed about enjoying the source media and i suspect a lot of you probably feel the same. you don't need to push everything through an irony filter and self depreciate, you can just like sunny and want to participate in fandom.

#ada speaks #literally feels like every time i try to get real at ALL someone feels like its appropriate to fling shit at me #im sick of vagueposting and broken telephone and im sick of feeling like i need to fucking mask my autism #yeah i misinterpret shit #yeah im overly sensitive #yes i care a whole hell of a lot and i am passionate about things you think are 'stupid'#i wish it wasn't embarrassing to be compassionate or understanding or... empathetic #and i'm going to try not to give in to that shitty behaviour just bc other people do it #i dont know how to fix the problem of people indirectly replying to shit instead of reblogging posts to disagree #i feel like its largely due to us not wanting to bother op #but i think its less harmful in the long run if we can be civil #i think we need to work to have a more welcoming community to EVERYONE not just Acceptable Fans

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britneyshakespeare · 8 months

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He won't leave my fucking friends alone.

#tales from diana #sorry this is about that bad friend i have to break up w that ive posted abt on and off the past couple weeks/months maybe #i still have to send him that final 'i dont wanna speak to you ever again'#ive been fucking busy ok. my summer has been full of family events and obligations #i have one brother getting married and the other having a baby!!! i have a LIFE and SHIT TO DO and PPL TO BE THERE FOR other than YOU!!!#i havent spoken to him in over 2 months too and he knows it's bc i don't want to #he's so difficult bc you can't fucking tell him the truth. you can't!!! he can't handle it!!! do you know how hard it is to handle???#the things i have to do to cut him off. because he doesn't respect normal fucking boundaries. make ME feel like im in the wrong #like im the shady person and the liar.#i can't drift from him bc hell pull me back #i can't communicate w him bc he won't hear anything i have to say he'll just turn it around & make it abt himself.#he literally does not understand ppl having motivations to do things that don't relate to him #and he has no sympathy for what he does to other ppl. nothing but self-pity for how they don't like him anymore.#if he dealt w someone who put him through half of what he put ME through. no he couldn't actually.#i only allowed him to manipulate me for so long because i cared abt him. who i thought he was.#and he just point blank period doesn't care about other ppl. so he could never go through what ive gone through w him.#i feel like all this friend breakup has proven to me is that im actually a good person and it can be used against me by ppl who arent #some fucking lesson i needed to learn huh?#i hate feeling as negatively towards anyone as i do towards him. it's so hard for me not to have at least #a little spark of hope deep down for everyone. even ppl ive removed from my life before. i dont HATE them #theyve disappointed me or insulted me or mistreated me but at least their motivations seemed simple and clear #and MOST of them seemed to understand SOMEWHAT that they were in the wrong #even if they don't admit it to me or still find an excuse to hate me. whatever #i can see them as ppl who might feel remorse someday and grow from it #i do not see it in this guy. bc if you have a problem w him he'll only make it 20 times worse.#he's so selfish it genuinely baffles me to think about it. and he's one of the least honest ppl ive ever known.#he'll never see the error of his ways. i do not believe he has that capacity.#and will i say none of this to him? no #im just going to say thanks for leaving me alone these past couple months. it's been good for me.#i don't think i can continue our friendship anymore for my own sake.

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sundybundy · 11 months

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i am not in a good mood

#i cant communicate with anybody unless theyre putting in so much effort to understand me. which no one does. except my sister god bless her #i was on my feet all day long today from 10 to fucking 8pm doing errands for her #my legs hurt so bad its midnight now and i finally was able to get back into the room im staying in for this week and just cried and cried #my dad has been saying transphobic things to me all day #and playing his trans violence fucking tiktoks loud as hell so eevryone can hear them in the living room #my mom pointed out all of my grey hair that i just realized i had and also pointed out how i gained so much weight #i want to die right now man #the only good thing thats happened on this trip was how i got to talk to my mom aand update her on my DID stuff because she hasnt fucking #seen a roll call of my system in 5 years so that was nice #but also had a convo about how she lost my diagnostic papers so thats fun #kcposting

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palestinalibre · 2 years

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#I'm all about criticising and problematising shit but sometimes you just gotta enjoy #especially when it's queer art made by a queer person. if you look at it from the het/gp lenses it's probably gonna be frustrating #i think we can problematise the situation also analysing. enjoying and acknowledging the effort he's put into saying something yk?#and yes saldy that something isn't what a casual fan or the gp is gonna catch. but that's what the situation is right now #but I can't stay trapped in there bc there's nothing I can do about other than #interpreting harry's art for what I see. and luckily that pov will reach more and more people #but HarryStylesTM is too big rn to expect that everyone will see those things. and I imo he doesn't even want the whole world to see them #he is very very protective of his truth his privacy. his story #you do you but for me. I can't have a bad time every time he (they) puts something out and #my expectations (however well intentioned) arent met #I (try to) understand the situation and reality he is in. I problematise that situation whenever it's necessary #while still enjoying what he's creating and trying to communicate #because that's the way it best works for me. that's the way I can have a healthy relationship with the fandom #and discuss and learn while I'm here but still enjoy it #so of course you do you. I'm just trying to say it's not a sin to wany to enjoy things even when the situation behind them is shit #each chooses which things they're gonna enjoy. which things they're gonna criticise and which things they're gonna ignore #want* im ignoring all the other typos bye #yes it's still a fight. but it's not sustainable to live in hell all the time. I'm sure THEY don't and they don't want that for us either

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romanken · 2 years

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Compilation of. Something

#still in hell in case ur wondering.#its all a journey of understanding. trying to know and learn new life. trying to overcome barriers of language and culture. trying to #discover the truth of the mission gone wrong. trying to understand a man who fears he can never be understood!#it all happens because they sing... because they sing and we have to know them. because in the whole wide expanse of the universe there is #something like us and we have to know them. we have to understand #i will learn if you teach me! emilio is so full of hope and joy for the future he wants to know and learn and understand. and then it all #gets turned on its fucking head. and originally everything that grows wrong is because emilio wanted to understand. and then its because he #fails to. he eats children because he cannot understand. marc dies and his hands are destroyed because communication fails.#jesus. and then. it. happens and he is desperately trying to know why this would happen to understand why god would allow it and it breaks #him. and all he wants is to stop understanding to stop learning to make it all go away. 😁🔫. and then when he finally gets home and its #supposed to be over everyone just wants. they want what he used to want: to understand and to know. and how can he possibly give that up #how can he communicate that in any way that matters. because it wont make anything better and it wont fix what happened to him #and they cant they cant understand all they can do is offer forgiveness. absolution. and hope that can be enough!#the sparrow

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alchemiclee · 1 year

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do you ever feel like some people dont understand the difference between pity and sympathy/empathy? (people don't even know the difference between those two, to be fair) giving someone sympathy or having empathy for them is not the same as pitying them. someone trying to reach out and seeking or expecting sympathy from you or wanting empathy isn't wanting you to pity them!!!!!! dont mix the two up 😭

#if i had a penny for every time i was pitied or people claimed *I* wanted a “pity party” when i was seeking sympathy or empathy...#id be so rich that id pity THEM lmao #when you just want your feelings and exoeriences to be seen as valid and they instead throw pity in the open wounds #being cruel and unsympathetic is just as bad as pity imo #you dont need empathy to learn sympathy skills since it's not the same thing. but some people do want empathy and not pity. which is also #not the same thing???? what am i even talking about anymore.#this was sparked by a reply to my post about not understanding kavehXalhaithim. apparently one doesnt want pity but the other lacks empathy #so to me the one lacking empathy comes off as cruel. it looks to me like he thinks showing sympathy = pity in that case. no.#sympathy would be validating the others feelings and experiences saying its ok to feel that way while working through it and support them!#but yeah replies on here are too limited and i cant fit all that above on there lmao i dont even knlw if people see my @ replies to them #ive replied back a few times now and no one continued the conversation so why bother lol #but it does annoy me when people are instead annoying or cruel in place of basic sympathy. to me THAT feels pitying #perhaps i also just dont like people who lack empathy. i know its not their fault and just how some people are....#but how i communicate is through empathy and exchanging it with others so i mever get along with people who lack it.#so uts hard for me to understand a ship that is an empath vs an unempathetic lmao it sounds annoying as hell even if it has reason fhdndndm #i think that storyline just felt way too close to home amd familiar so it got me as annoyed as the character i highly relate to there 😅#idk what im rambling about now tbh #words #lee rambles

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emsleyanbluejay · 2 years

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hmmm it’s “angry at sysmeds” hours

#Blue Jay Chirps #i’m psychotic and don’t have a stable sense of identity #to the point that my actions/thoughts from two years ago are totally incomprehensible to me now #and i can’t trust my perception of reality because some days i wake up convinced i fell into a parallel universe #add that to sysmeds claiming that psychosis and other identity issues can be confused for being a system #(setting aside that it’s just a way to invalidate systems who disagree with them or don’t fit into their medicalized beliefs of systemhood)#and you can kind of understand why i’ve been having a 3+ month crisis about whether or not i’m actually part of a system #especially because we don’t have an innerworld/concrete headspace and internal communication is so hard #everything is give and take in here basically #we can’t communicate unless all parties are putting in equal effort #we can’t switch unless i actively give up front *and* someone wants it #hell i don’t even know what everyone else is doing in there rn #it’s literally a void with a couple things that exist as concepts or vibes #it takes so much effort to interact with the others that i genuinely can’t spare the energy most days #so lately i’ve just been feeling like a really crazy singlet intruding on others’ space #and i wouldn’t feel that way if sysmeds weren’t acting like the arbiters of plurality #Voidborne Posting

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usoratonkachi · 2 years

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no bc i should have gotten beheaded for writing certain characters as hard doms that are damn well the farthest from hard doms when i first started writing last year DSKJFHSDKF (I HAVE GROWN IN WRITING DO NOT ACTUALLY BEHEAD ME PLS SAJDKFHSD)

also little (not little at all) rant / reflection <3 in tags lmfao

#LISTEN TO ME I WILL NEVER STOP APOLOGIZING LIKE I CANT BELIEVE I DID U.SHIJIMA LIKE THAT SDJKFGHDJ #HE WAS MY BLORBO FOR SO LONG AND I DID THAT TO HIM... </3 #IM TERRIBLY SORRY I WENT THRU ONE HELL OF A DEVELOPMENT ARC I PROMISE UUUU #yea the degradation idk what was wrong w me but also being exposed to mostly just that in the x reader tags ofc i wrote it #like ive said this before the tags show them like that . for a new writer that is what u will see and think u should base ur writing off #when u shouldn't LOL but no one tells u that when u first start off u just learn ig AHAHAH #if degredation and hard doms is what ppl are giving thousands of notes on at first u will think this is what i should write this is the nor #norm*#but then u meet rlly awesome writers on here who have been writing for so long and u understand how writing really is #or not long at all but they get it yk #how like. u should write what u like and NOT what is getting notes alone #ofc i dont mean degradation in general i rlly like it when its written well NOT as a norm #if that makes sense KJHSDFKJ #but i do have a deep hatred towards degradation now lol im so traumatized from writing it i will NEVER write it ever again LMAOLKSDSJFKSLD #anw. i really am thankful for this community i learned so much from when it comes to writing bc without it i wouldnt have like taken this-#step back for a couple of months to really write what i like and explore it. before i am ready to post again :')#bc again im a new writer i started back in may 2021. like writing (i would read longgg before then but never writing lol)#so i am learning and growing everyday lol #and when i started posting last summer it was like my first time posting and i wanted my writing to be liked (meaning i didnt write-#-for myself fully </3)#so i posted shit i didn't like but like... i assumed ppl would like KJHDSFJK #BUT NOT ANYMORE :3 #the writing community rlly teaches u so much i would see all these encouraging posts and it would make me rlly emotional bc i didnt-#feel alone regarding it #so yea :>#shorty thriving in the docs ... so it will feel really good when i end up posting when i #i'm* ready :D #I WILL DELETE THIS LATER IM JUST REFLECTING SLDKFHD

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