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wen-kexing-apologist · 9 months

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Thai QL Favorites Game

*sigh* y'all seem to love torturing me with the terrible, terrible weight of having to pick favorites.

Tagged by @telomeke

Favorite Thai QL: Moonlight Chicken

gif by @jaehwany

This is so fucking hard because like…I Told Sunset About You, 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us, and The Eclipse exist and I could wax poetic about all of them, about how much heart went in to them, about how strong the performances of the actors are, about how emotionally impactful these shows were for me. Because all of them were, and they were impactful and relevant to me in so many different ways. I can say with utter confidence that I have not been as impacted by a piece of television as I was with ITSAY and 180D. But, fundamentally, Moonlight Chicken is the show that started it all for me. Moonlight Chicken is the first show that I started writing analysis about, it is the first show that I started interacting with other people on this website over, I have so many tumblr friends now explicitly because of how I engaged with this show, and how others engaged with this show. And so, regardless of how many other incredible, impactful, cinematographic masterpieces grace my screen, Moonlight Chicken will forever be my favorite because it gave me a community I didn’t have before.

Favorite Pairing: First and Khaotung

gif by @gunsatthaphan

I want to make it very clear, I do not condone fanservice. I am generally opposed to speculating about the nature of two actor’s relationships to one another outside of work. So, when I talk about my favorite pairing, I mean it strictly as scene partners. First and Khaotung are my favorite pairing because they are incredible fucking actors. First is a fucking chamelian, like seriously, I saw him in Not Me first, then in The Eclipse, and I think it took me until I looked up what else First had been in during my first viewing of The Eclipse that I even realized he had played Yok. And that blew my fucking mind because Yok and Akk are radically different characters. Yok is loud, chaotic, comfortable, and open. Akk is quiet, stressed, distressed, closeted, suppressed, and First does such an incredible job with both of those characters. After I watched The Eclipse for the first time, I went back right after to watch Not Me so I could compare First’s performance, and I was just blown away. I have since rewatched The Eclipse about six times.

gif by @choikangho

Then I saw him as Alan in MLC and again, First was able to be an asshole to Jim while maintaining a sympathetic position, he navigates so well the razor thin edge that has to be balanced when it comes to making a character that first appears as an antagonistic force but whose pain and anger is immediately understandable, and he does it with ease. It both makes me sad and happy that Aof did not know how good of an actor First was. I heard from @so-much-left-to-learn that Moonlight Chicken started filming before The Eclipse was released, and that Aof wasn’t ever on set for The Eclipse and therefore would not have really had a chance to see him playing more serious roles. I am glad that Aof acknowledging how blown away he was by First means that First actually can act and I am not just distracted by the angelic face of his. Also, this boy can fucking cry.

gif by @gaykey

Khaotung similarly, I think my first exposure to Khao was The Eclipse and then I saw him in A Tale of A Thousand Stars and I was like “Hello??????????? Where did my rat bastard go? This is a sweet ray of sunshine!” Khao is a powerhouse, and a master at displaying, expressing, and articulating grief that it radiates out of the screen. It is unsurprising to me that everyone was singing his praises in MLC and I feel some type of way about the fact that Aof knew how talented Khaotung was and trusted him to carry the heavy responsibility of portraying the grief of losing a parent so soon after Aof lost his. And everyone who said that your eye can’t help but be drawn to Khao whenever he is on screen is correct. Khaotung is a force to be reckoned with, and though you are drawn to him, I don’t think when he is not the focus of the moment that he ever steals the scene. Also, this boy can fucking cry.

gif by @thebvbbletea

I think it was @ginnymoonbeam who said that First and Khaotung elevate every role they play, and I have to agree. But further, they elevate each other, and I so enjoyed the clips I’ve seen of First and Khaotung discussing their friendship and how they had never gotten to work together, and how they had a conversation with each other when they got cast opposite one another in The Eclipse being like “this is probably the one and only time they are going to have us work together, so let’s show them what we’ve got” and they just like…demolished those fucking roles, and now are scene partners in a number of shows. I loved watching the Behind the Scenes videos where First and Khaotung describe what they have learned from each other working together, especially how First is always going back to look at the camera and to observe the scene they have just recorded so he can see how the scene is looking, take mental notes, and adjust as needed, and how Khaotung had never done that until he was on set with First.

Again, I will not speculate in any way, shape, or form about the true nature of their relationship to one another outside of work, but inside of work they do appear to be deeply deeply important to each other which is just so wonderful to witness. Regardless of whether or not their friendship is that strong when cameras aren’t rolling, I love seeing sweet, vulnerable, and strong displays of male friendship where First and Khaotung are literally crying at the thought of not seeing each other every day. Like, I just think shit like that is incredibly important for people to see in hopes that they will understand that it is okay to love your friends loudly and strongly.

Most underrated actor: Jennie

I love Jennie so much, my face always lights up when she is on screen. I think she is a great actress, and gave a very compelling performance as Mae in 3 Will Be Free. I would love to see her in more things, in larger roles.

Favorite Character: Akk, The Eclipse

gif by @fuligongs

Thankfully this is a Thai QL tag only so that I didn’t have to pit two bad bitches against each other (Wen Kexing and Akk). Ohhhhhh Akk, you are trying so hard to please everyone around you, and you are so scared, and so prone to being manipulated, and so stressed out. You have so much pressure on you, you are carrying so much doubt and fear and pain. You tried to murder your classmates, you cry yourself silly over problem you are partially responsible for. You are complicated, and suppressed, and constantly on the verge of bursting, and I want to just wrap you in a blanket, give you hot chocolate, and tell you everything is going to be okay. Akk is my beloved BL boy. I relate very hard to the composition of his character. I am not an Akk apologist, because he has done some very wrong things in his life, but I love him because of all the wrongs he has done. Because he didn’t know any better, because he had a lot to lose if he did not do his job to a satisfactory degree, because he saw a hot boy who was immediately mean to him and fell head over heels, and because Akk is constantly evaluating and questioning his worldview, and adjusting it accordingly. He has such a huge heart and he’s not quite sure what to do with it.

Favorite Side Character: Chot, Step by Step

gif by @mushiemadarame

This man has his shit together and spends too much of his precious time corralling his love sick, dumb fuck gay boy boss and his love sick, dumb fuck gay boy coworker around their enclosure.

Favorite scene in a QL: 180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through Us, Ep. 8

The farewell Wang gives to In near the end of Episode 8 is probably my favorite scene in a QL ever for a very innocuous and unexpected reason, and that is the flashback to Mon comforting Wang in the aftermath of their confrontation. Now, poor @bengiyo can attest that when I first saw the literal like…ten seconds of Wang falling against the doorframe of his mother’s bedroom, and then collapsing sobbing in to her arms, that I was sent in to the most intense emotional distress of my entire life for deeply, deeply personal reasons. I shared this entire clip because I think the confrontation itself is a marvel to behold, the way the tension has been building and building and building the entire show, and you can almost hear the whistle as the pressure finally becomes to much, and then erupts. GOD THIS SHOW IS SO FUCKING GOOD. Anyway, it took me thirty minutes to calm down and breathe properly from Wang’s “Ma” moment in this episode and because of how strongly it impacted me, it is my favorite scene.

Favorite line in a QL: “You’re allowed to be weak, at least with me” / “You don’t have to be strong, not with me”

This is a line that is very frequently said by at least one half of a pair, Akk and Ayan say it to each other in The Eclipse, King says it to Uea in Bed Friend, I’m pretty sure there is some variation of it that Praipai says to Sky in Love in The Air. It is cheesy, and tropey, sure, but boy oh boy how I love the level of safety and comfort it implies between characters. Like, fundamentally, an aspect of relationships that is constantly evaluated in romance, is who knows you better than anyone, how you show your most authentic self to the person that you love. I mean, seriously, how much of romance stories revolves around hiding parts of yourself you fear no one would ever love? How much of romance stories revolve around keeping secrets because you are scared of losing the person you have? How much of romance has their conflict arise from the revelation of the secret, but not the secret itself? How much of romance has their resolution occur after moments of complete and total honesty?

I love all variations of this line, non-verbal ones included, non-verbal ones especially: from Pran sobbing in to Pat’s shoulder in Episode 10, to Tien fainting in Phupa’s arms, to Akk and Ayan always holding one another while one or both of them cries, navigating nightmares, and panic attacks, bearing witness to abuse, etc.

All that said, the other line that has been haunting me recently is “No one has asked me how I am in awhile” said by Tawan in My Ride because oof, yeah, in many ways and in many aspects of my life I am Tawan and truer words…

Most Anticipated QL (& why): Only Friends

First being a slut. Neo being a slut. Mark being a slut. Force being a slut. Khaotung being a slut. Book being a slut. JENNIE!

This chart:

This clip from the trailer:

(gif from @ahxiang)

The playlist:

I am 0% looking forward to the fan reactions because I feel like this is a show rife for the picking around discourse, but I am looking forward to seeing what kind of a ride (haha) Jojo takes me on.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: Mork and Tawan, My Ride

gif by @save-the-data

I haven’t finished this show yet, I have the last two episodes to watch but I really love the reciprocal relationship the two of them have, I know it seems funny and ironic to say this, knowing that Mork did withhold information from Tawan and continued to try to alleviate his fears by lying to him about it, but they are open and honest with each other in a really wonderful way, I love their dynamic, and I think that as they continue to know each other, and love each other that they will only get better and better with open, honest communication, and mutual respect and care.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: Akk and Theo, Enchante

Sorry if you like this show, and sorry if you like this couple, and I know this feels out of left field when VegasPete exists, when FUTS exists, when Boss and Toy exist but like…

Theo does fuck all for Akk, he just creates the most elaborate lie, doubles down on it, triples down on it, lets four other boys try to woo him, and Akk’s devotion to Theo and Theo’s downright obliviousness to Akk’s life needs leads to Akk getting fucking FIRED FROM HIS JOB BECAUSE THEO COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO RIDE THE BUS. Like…I’m sorry, but as much as I do believe that many relationships have some inherent level of imbalance, whether that is time, emotional needs, income, life experience, etc. and that can be fine and does not inherently make a relationship terrible or “toxic”, folks I’m sorry, I have seen 60 BLs at this point and I think this is the couple that I like the least.

Guilty pleasure series: There is no such thing as a guilty pleasure, I own that shit…

My guilty pleasure series is not so much a series as it is revisiting certain scenes in different BLs that I love. I have rewatched a number of the fight scenes, make out scenes, and sex scenes in the shows I have seen: Eclipse, Bed Friend, La Pluie, LITA, KinnPorsche, Moonlight Chicken, etc.

gif by @liyazaki

There isn’t a particular order, and there is no intentional plan, but sometimes a backing track of a scene gets stuck in my head and I have to watch the scene to get it out, and sometimes I’m like “damn I miss my boys”, and sometimes @colourme-feral is an asshole and reblogs King and Uea gifs and I am seized with the urge to see them again. I tend to watch kissing scenes and sex scenes a lot in the shows that I’ve seen because I love breaking down the choreography of the scene. If you don’t know by now, I spend a lot of my time in shows analyzing the body language of the characters and there are no scenes more rich with body language to analyze than the strongest emotional moments, which come through the eruption of a fight scene, or through the intimacy of a love scene.

gif by @alexshenry

I will often watch a particular moment of a scene like four times in a row, trying to parse through every microexpression on an actor’s face, or wonder how the hell they managed to get through a scene without laughing. I love watching other people have strong emotional responses in a television show because I cannot and do not act, and therefore I am constantly amazed and curious about how a person is able to make their face move like that, make their body move like that, make their eyes shine like that, etc.

Most underrated series: He’s Coming to Me

Honestly, I would say 180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through Us is also a highly underrated series, but 180D is very heavily reminiscent of stage plays (which makes sense since the director is a playwright) and I that is not a style of performance that is as easily watched for everyone. So I can understand the physicality, and the pacing, and the space to be a barrier to actually enjoying the show. Which is why I am going to say something most other people have said…He’s Coming to Me.

I am picking this one because it is filmed in a similar style to most other GMMTV BLs which means that it is accessible to a wider audience. But it’s released was impacted by a number of different issues, including fan pushback, which is to say the least a goddamn travesty. This is a beautiful piece of media, with (unsurprising) stellar performances from Ohm and Singto. Aof knows how to do an Episode 5 roof scene, let me tell you. I have seen it on a recommended watch list from time to time, with mostly just the statement that people should watch it because there is a really good coming out scene. Which is literally all I knew about the show when I started watching it, and which promptly became a thing I got a bit miffed over, not because I didn’t love the coming out scene (I super super did) but because this show is so queer. This show is a gay trifecta (by, for, and about queers) and no one fucking told me?!

Like, seriously the only thing anyone at all had to say about this show was that the coming out scene was good? Not the way that seeing ghosts is a metaphor of queerness, not that Ohm delivers one of the most gut-wrenching screaming apologies? Not a peep have I seen about Ohm’s ramble about people’s assumptions about what and who he likes by his friends in the locker room?

Everyone needs to see this show. I know that the distribution of it prevented a lot of people from seeing it in any timely fashion, but it is available on YouTube now and I would highly, highly recommend it. This was a 10/10 show for me.

Tagging @solitaryandwandering, @colourme-feral, @ranchthoughts, @rocketturtle4

#la pluie #step by step #moonlight chicken #bed friend #mlc #hctm #3wbf #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #jennie panhan #ohm pawat #singto prachaya #180 degree longitude passes through us #kinnporsche #only friends #thai ql tag challenge #wka long post #Spotify

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seriouslysam8 · 4 months

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Thoughts on Gary Oldman as Sirius?

Look, Gary Oldman is a great actor… but he’s not Sirius material. He was too old (though there wasn’t much they could do since they cast Alan Rickman as Snape who was too damn old and unpopular opinion but I don’t think he should have been cast as Snape for age alone), he didn’t look like Sirius in my mind, and he didn’t play Sirius the way I imagine him in my head. The only thing I liked about Gary Oldman’s Sirius was how soft he was with Harry. It’s a softness that I wanted to see more of in the books and appreciated we got to see those two damaged boys hug in the movies. Although, the movies cheapened their relationship dramatically when Sirius called Harry his father’s name.

But, I mean, we didn’t get any depth from Gary Oldman. I’m not blaming him entirely. The writers are a big part of it too. Sirius’ character was watered down dramatically in the movies. I mean, we got him raising a glass and chuckling during Christmas dinner. Where the fuck was drunk Sirius singing at the top of his lungs?? Where was a socially intelligent Sirius in GOF explaining dynamics in the first war to Harry and practically working out the entire plot with info from some teenagers and scraps of newspapers? Where was the Sirius who wrote Harry every day leading up the final task? The Sirius who was bitter at Grimmauld Place? The Sirius who loved Harry more than anything??

One of the most tragic things in the entire series was how the Marauders era was robbed of their adulthood. They were young, arrogant kids who thought they knew everything but really knew nothing at all. They fought thinking they were more clever and could actually win. They were just kids. I mean, their brains weren’t even fully developed yet. I make a huge effort to point this out in Brumous. Sirius knew they were dumb kids back then. They made a lot of stupid mistakes. They thought they were smarter than they were. That part of the generation who survived was just bitter and cynical when Voldemort came back. Meanwhile, Harry and co are the dumb kids now. They’re diving in head first thinking they know better when they don’t. I think a lot of this nuance was missing from the movies.

You guys now I love to make parallels between characters and situations in my writing. This was done so subtly in the books as well. The parallels between Sirius and Harry, James and Ron, Draco and Regulus, Lily and Narcissa, Harry and Voldemort. It all revolves around the choices these characters made when they’re only kids. Who was raised in a moral environment, who wasn’t able to escape the indoctrination, who escaped the indoctrination. It’s fascinating to read who realized their mistakes in time and who didn’t. I seriously think having the Marauders characters aged up so dramatically (and let’s face it, the actors looked older than their age as well) cheapened these parallels. Because your mind sees how old these characters are and don’t appreciate just how young they truly were. It takes away a lot of the devastation because they were just kids who didn’t know what they were doing or getting into. Instead, you view them as adults who made the right choice and adults who should have known better.

I have never once pictured Gary Oldman when I write Sirius. Never. I’ve never pulled up pictures or videos of him when I write to base looks, facial expressions, or mannerisms off of.

Thank you for attending my Ted talk. 🤣🤣🤣

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lxdymoon0357 · 1 year

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and another where the yandere is Rashta? Thank you!

(Honestly, this became a Sovieshu (platonic) and Navier (romantic) with Yandere! Rashta HCs I'm very much disappointed with myself|| Willing! Navier and Willing! Sovieshu|| Yandere! Navier)

Yandere! Unmarried Queen

(Rashta)

❈ This things starts when Rashta was still a slave at the Rimwell estate, she would steal Libetti's portraits to stare at them at night and would return them very early in the morning, Alan noticed this and so out of annoyance bought a Navier portrait during a business trip for her so she wouldn't get into trouble.

❈ Sooner or later, she escaped and got caught into the emperor's trap, where she was taken to the imperial palace and was healed, where the emperor was taken by her beauty and asked her to his concubine.

❈ Rashta immediately refused to this, but she was still too weak and hurt to be left alone like that, she and Sovieshu got to know each-other in that time when she's healing and Sovieshu soon realized that he wanted to keep Rashta around, she became close to him in that time period, not as a lover or concubine though, maybe as a friend or sister, and so he built up the courage and asked Rashta to be his sister.

❈ Of-course she agreed, she wanted to have someone to love her and be with her, she liked Sovieshu and felt touch-starved and wanted to have someone to help navigate her through this world, also maybe because she wanted to meet Navier at-least once.

❈ She was having her education, while also starting her own business of dressing and women’s accessories, it included jewellery, shoes, perfumes, make-up, night-gowns, undergarments and even women’s hygiene products..

❈ This made a big hit in not only the Eastern empire but also nearby Kingdoms and Empire and thus, Rashta was there being a CEO and having multiple shops across empires and kingdom at reasonable to everybody, including commoners and peasant can enjoy them.

❈ She has everyone follow certain rules in her shops otherwise you’re thrown out, which is no discrimination, not treating any of the workers badly or anything us people suffer on a daily basis…

❈ Thanks to this, Rashta also gets to meet Navier who is a fan of her designs and she treats Rashta with respect, being her husband’s sister after all, and soon they became quick friends, one golden retriever girl and one black cat girl, such an amazing “friendship” , just “Girls being gal pals”…

❈ Things are going differently behind the curtains as Rashta and Navier are often yelled at by Sovieshu for putting on such marks that will make people gossip, but its fine, cause Rashta doesn’t listen! And she still leaves hickeys on Navier and now everybody in the palace know Navier has a lover other than Sovieshu who she has come over to her room every night…

❈ At-least being in a relationship solves 20% of the problems caused by Rashta as a yandere as compared to if she was not in a relationship with Navier……Does not mean, Rashta will not do irrational things, Rashta is like √2 in a question where you don’t even need it…If you get what I mean…

❈ Rashta kills everybody who even talks or thinks about Navier or Sovieshu in a slightly wrong way or disagree with their point of views, Yes, Rashta is a platonic yandere for her dear brother, Sovieshu…

❈ Rashta is very much hesitant letting any other women spend alone time with Navier for her past with Alan, because Alan wasn’t very much kind to her and when Rashta finally finds someone who likes her for herself, she doesn’t want them to find someone else who they think looks even slightly better than her.

❈ Rashta doesn’t give off punishments that much, maybe a few slaps here and there and maybe starving Navier, she never gives punishments to Sovieshu, she thinks he’s still a child, even though Sovieshu is around 5 years older than her….She only gives him a scolding and maybe a slap if very angry, but for Navier it’s different…But she barely ever gives off punishments to the two, because she thinks it’s other people’s fault

❈ She also hasn’t let anybody else date Sovieshu, only maybe Heinry or maybe Kosair, Kaufman is a high one in respect in her eyes (as male suitors) but only after threatening them badly…She only thinks of a few maybe a few of her maids (as female suitors) to let Sovieshu date them in girls..

❈ Rashta, is both Navier and Sovieshu’s personal taste tester, seeing if anything is poisonous and only letting the two eat, she also does this thing with everything else, she’s very protective and often overthinks things and checks everything… She doesn’t want her loves ones to be hurt!

❈ Also she spoils Navier rotten, by making her some hand-made gifts, making her jewellery, clothing, perfumes, handmade flower bouquets, candles with flowers, a tiny letter or maybe those jars with all the reasons she loves Navier , some of those gifts are also given to Sovieshu…

❈ Rashta is honestly more open and gives more freedom to a willing! Darling as compared to a non-willing! Darling. Rashta lets Navier do whatever she wants while she does things in her place, though Navier doesn’t want to put so much burden on Rashta, she also likes the tiny breaks and then they do the work together!

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fights4users · 1 year

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Reflections

Programs look like their users. They share little bits of personality and sometimes mirror relationships. We all know this. On my last rewatch I’ve come to notice just how close their relationships really are and it’s more than any of them will ever realize. Again the quote from Gibbs “a little bit of our spirit remains in every program we wrote for this company etc.” It’s not literal or magic but I take it much more as a “craftsman’s touch” like how handmade pottery will sometimes have the indent of the creators finger.

Alan and Roy - Ram and Tron

Now Roy doesn’t play a main role in the original movie he’s “popcorn co worker” but notice… he and Alan have cubicles right next to each other. I believe their computer to computer. A closed in box right next to each other, feel familiar anyone? I imagine they became friends in a similar way, Roy talked first and probably a little to much at first- then the worked up to work friends, real friends enough to it lasted 20+ years. If Ram didn’t get derezzed I imagine he’d still be pretty close with Tron, especially after what they went though together. Also the cell to cubicle comparison is not a bit of social commentary that’s lost on me.

Alan and Lora- Tron and Yori

Jesus a mirror relationship if I ever saw one. Both are lovely, overexcited young couples. The touches, the glances, the longing? (Mainly tron and yori as a kiss isn’t a thing yet but they want it- there’s so many times they turn and stare and you’d think). I already have a post on this, but ya know. Alan and Tron are a bit more hesitant— but they’re also capable of jumping headfirst into action without thinking they just worry about it right after. Lora and yori are - not the worrier, they are the action. Girls were “we breaking in or not” and “let’s steal this experimental vehicle 💕” Alan and Tron also tend to be boyishly protective when Flynn starts acting weird.

Also! Lora/Yori are the one who drives.

Walter and Lora - Dumont and Yori

This one I don’t see people talk about and its sad because they’re quite close. Gibbs is Loras mentor(not to mention the founder of Encom) he’s a loving and well intentioned father figure around the workplace. They joke, work, and I can imagine endless conversations with them both absolutely rattling off about digitization. Similarly, Yori greets Dumont like one would an old friend with some “do it for me” vibes in there too. They’re quick to grasp hands when sincere or hold onto each other when worried. I don’t know how they’d know each other in the past but maybe it’s a similar situation, before he took on his current function? But Dumont is similarly father figure like to Yori but slightly less trusting of Tron than Gibbs is of Alan.

Flynn — Clu

The outsider. His is the only program without a mirroring relationship (probably because he later comes in himself). Clu was a hacking and stealth program, he wasn’t there for friends or much besides finding the memory and getting out. However if we look at Flynn and his relationships in and out of the grid it’s almost exactly the same. One day he comes into everyone’s life and puts on the charm. He’s annoying but earnest, smart but dumb etc. Quick friends and quicker enemies.

As for Dillinger and stark I feel like that one is completely self explanatory, but I can go into it. Because he is actually a pretty interesting character.

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liaromancewriter · 2 years

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Seeing Red

Premise: When Ethan receives a letter from Louise, he and Cassie have it out once and for all.

Book: Open Heart (post series) Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Cassie Valentine) Rating/Category: Teen. Angsty fluff. Words: 1,785

A/N: Requested by Anon. Submission for @choicesmonthlychallengejune2022 Day 20 “Fight”

When Ethan Ramsey was a young boy, the world he knew imploded when his mother walked out on her family. But he managed to take something from the ashes and rebuild his life.

Despite his initial skittishness, he opened himself up to love and having a family of his own. Now that he was a father himself, the sad and angry young boy he had been seemed a distant memory.

Until that is he slit the letter opener through the top of an envelope, unfolded the slim paper tucked inside and read the note. Anger long forgotten boiled to the surface as he scanned the words from his mother, written in a short, crabby handwriting much like his own.

She congratulated him on the birth of his daughters, asked him to thank Cassie for sending her photographs of the girls, and “oh, what heartbreakers they’ll be” she added. She ended the letter with a desire to meet her granddaughters one day.

Ethan took deep breaths, his heart pounding, memories swirling inside his mind. He remembered when Louise had been brought into Edenbrook after she OD’d on heroine. How he’d wanted to keep his distance but had eventually relented and got her into a rehab facility.

After months of inpatient and outpatient therapy, they had started to rebuild their relationship when a year later she relapsed. The doctor in him knew that addiction was a disease, but the damaged young boy only saw betrayal and felt a deep sense of anger mixed with resentment.

Still, the man he had become, the one that Cassie Valentine loved, gave Louise another chance. But no matter what he did, it was never enough, and he realized that he needed to cut ties with her completely.

His father Alan didn’t give up though, believing the best in his wayward wife even after all these years. But he understood Ethan’s position and refrained from bringing her up.

Ethan thought of all the people in his life, Cassie knew him better than he knew himself. So, her initiating contact with Louise felt like the biggest betrayal of all, making him see red.

Down the hall from his home office, Cassie rummaged through the ruthlessly organized drawer of onesies and cute little rompers.

Behind her, two pairs of green eyes followed her every movement, their tiny bodies clad in diapers, hair still damp from their bath. Their eyes widened at times at the sound of their mother’s voice and the conversation she was having with them. Other times they ignored her.

“Alright, ladies, what color mood are we in today?” she was saying. “I’m thinking you both look particularly fetching in this shade of teal. But purple isn’t bad either.”

She turned around to face them, holding up both outfits in her hand for their inspection.

“Teal it is,” nodded Cassie when the twins cooed in appreciation. “You both have such good taste.”

She continued the one-sided conversation while she dressed the twins.

“I hope you both know how lucky you are that you inherited my sense of fashion. I mean your father,” she shook her head in dismay, “he actually thought wearing a dotted blue tie with checked navy pants was acceptable. And don’t get me started on that gray, old man sweater he refused to throw away.”

“Cassie.”

She looked up with a smile when Ethan called her name from where he stood in the doorway of the nursery.

“Hey, babe,” she said, buttoning up Sophie while avoiding Eloise’s pumping legs. “I’ve finally mastered the art of bath time solo. Only took me two months, but I wasn’t the top-ranking intern for nothing!”

She chuckled before continuing, not seeing the stiffness in his posture or the anger simmering behind his eyes. “The girls and I are going for a walk. Want to join us? It’s still a bit chilly outside, but I think we all need some fresh air…”

“Cassie, will you please be quiet?” Ethan snapped, causing her to glance up in surprise at the angry tone and the raised voice, which was so unusual for him.

The girls must have thought so too as they both let out thin wails that changed to whimpers after Cassie picked one up and then the other to rock them in her arms.

She couldn’t recall the last time she’d heard Ethan raise his voice to her except when she’d been an intern or the way his body was vibrating right now, itching for a fight. She started towards him, hoping to soothe him, but he put up a hand, stopping her in her tracks.

“Have you been staying in touch with Louise?” he asked, enunciating each word, that sense of disloyalty resurfacing the longer he stared at her.

Cassie’s brows knit with bewilderment before saying. “Not really...”

“Christ!” Ethan cursed, bowing his head and pinching the bridge of his nose before his eyes snapped into hers.

“Let me rephrase,” he said, seething in frustration at her denial. “Did you or did you not send Louise photos of the girls?”

The confusion on her face cleared and she opened her mouth, but something about how he was watching her had her swallowing back the words.

“I asked you a simple question, Cassandra, and it requires a ‘yes’ or ‘no’,” he demanded.

Her face slowly leeched of color as he used her full name in a furious tone that was so at odds with the caring one that she’d come to expect after all their years together. She continued to rock the babies, an automatic jostling motion to calm their fussiness which appeared to increase with every passing moment, as if they sensed the heightened emotions in the air.

“Yes. Alan told me she was back in rehab, and I thought she would appreciate knowing she was a grandmother,” Cassie said, trying to control the quiver in her voice. “I know that…”

“How dare you?” barked Ethan. “You had no right to send her the photos without telling me or interfering in something that doesn’t concern you.” He advanced on her. “An unfortunate circumstance of genetics doesn’t make that woman a grandmother and I will never allow her to see our daughters. Or give her a chance to ruin their lives just like she did mine…”

He stopped, his chest heaving, struggling to rein in his temper as Cassie watched him in shock, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Ethan, please, you’re frightening me,” pleaded Cassie. “And the girls.”

By now the twins were howling, a shrill sound, their heads and legs kicking back against the tight hold Cassie had on them.

He was appalled, no longer recognizing himself or the angry man staring back at him, one that had lost all control. One that had made his wife and children cry. Full of self-loathing, he turned around and left the nursery.

Frozen, Cassie continued to stare at the doorway and wondered how things could have gone so wrong. She tried to calm the babies down, shushing over and over again until their shrieks eventually turned to snivels.

She gently placed them down in the crib, switching on the mobile with a twinkling melody that always made the girls happy. At least she thought it did.

Cassie heard the front door open and ran out of the nursery just in time to see Ethan’s back as he started to close the door behind him.

They were not doing this, she thought, catching the door with her hand and slamming it open.

“Where are you going?” she asked when he turned to face her, the expression on his face one of despair rather than rage.

“Are you planning to come back?” she said, her voice breaking when he didn’t answer her.

That shook him out of his mood. “What? Of course, I’m coming back.”

“When? Today, tomorrow, ten years from now? What do I tell our girls?”

Cassie knew she was being unfair, and a tad dramatic, but he found it so easy to walk away. Whenever things went south, it’s where his mind went first. She thought they’d moved past this, but here they were again.

“Cassie…” he sighed, ashamed that this is what his actions had led to. “I…”

“I’m sorry,” she said, clutching the doorknob behind her. It was the only thing keeping her upright. “I shouldn’t have reached out to Lousie without telling you. I know how you feel about her, what she did to you, and I should have respected that you don’t want her involved. I got carried away and I wanted to take it back as soon as I sent it, but it was too late. I can only say that I’m sorry and promise that I’ll never do it again.”

“I’m sorry too,” he said, closing the distance to tug her into his arms. “I’m sorry I shouted at you, that I reacted without thinking. I’ll never leave you or our children the way she left me. I promise you.”

His hands framed her face, raising it to meet his sincere gaze. “I hated how I was inside and wanted to cool off before facing you and the girls again. Are they okay or have I traumatized them for life?”

She sniffed. “They’re too young to remember. Besides, babies have very short attention spans, shorter than a goldfish in fact.”

He laughed before his voice turned somber, careful. “And what about you?”

“You really scared me, Ethan,” she admitted. “I’ve never seen you like that, and I didn’t like it.”

“I didn’t recognize myself either,” he said, bending his head to brush his lips across hers in apology. “I hate myself for the cruel words I said and how I said them. You and the girls are my everything and I’m sorry I caused you even a moment of doubt.”

She nodded to show him she accepted his apology and then stepped back.

“If you need to go cool off or just need some alone time, I understand. We’ll be waiting for you.”

He wiped away the lingering tears spiking her lashes and took her hand in his, lacing their fingers together and stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.

“What I want is to go on that walk with my family,” he said, slowly, still a bit unsure. “Is that okay?”

She smiled up at him, squeezing this hand. “It’s more than okay. There’s nothing we’d like more.”

Hand in hand, he walked back inside the apartment with Cassie and towards the nursery where his future waited. No matter what, he vowed that he would always be there for them. That was one promise he knew he would keep for life.

All Fics & Edits: @potionsprefect @trappedinfanfiction @bex-la-get @mysticalgalaxysstuff @genevievemd @choicesaddict5 @jerzwriter @rookiemartin @schnitzelbutterfingers @vi-writes-stuff @coffeeheartaddict2 @dorisz @zahrachoices @lucy-268 @a-crepusculo @jamespotterthefirst @ofmischiefandmedicine @headoverheelsforramsey @takemyopenheart @gryffindordaughterofathena @queencarb @crazy-loca-blog @natureblooms24

@custaroonie @lady-calypso

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

#ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #open heart choices #open heart #ethan ramsey x cassie valentine #choices fic writers creations #cfwc fics of the week #ethan x mc #open heart fanficiton #open heart fanfics #playchoices fanfics #playchoices

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jassackles · 2 years

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An Actress Life - Chapter 17

warnings: rude!alan, Jensen’s mom is a sweetheart, hurt!reader, crying, angry!Jensen

word count: 1,887

A/N: sorry for being so inactive loves, but I have Covid and wasn’t feeling so well

They arrive at his parents' house, Jensen parks in the driveway and she gets out of the car.

"Okay, I don't know why, but I'm kinda nervous." She says with a nervous and awkward laugh. "Why that?" He asks with a small frown.

"You know, they love you." He adds softly. She gives him a weak smile and he takes her hand and leads her to the front door.

He rings the doorbell and his mom Donna opens it. "Oh gosh, y/n. So good to see you." She says happily and she smiles slightly at her, then Donna pulls her into a warm hug. She hugs Donna back as well, feeling calm as Donna rubs her back. She quashes Y/N's cheek gently before pulling away to give her son a hug as well. "Now, come in." She says happily and gestures them in. They follow her into the living room to greet Mac and Josh.

"Y/n so good to see you, really." He gives her a reassuring smile. Is it that obviously that I'm nervous? "Guys, dinner is served." Donna says softly and they all go into the dining room. Y/N sits down next to Jensen and Mac. Josh, Donna and Alan across from them.

The food always smells so good, Y/N loves her cooking. "Donna the food smells so good." Y/N says happily with a smile, while Donna places the food on the table.

"Thanks sweetie." She says squeezing your shoulder and sits down.

Everyone starts putting food on their plates, after that they begin eating. "Why are you back with my son although you cheated on him?" Alan suddenly speaks up and Y/N chokes on her food. "Wh-What?" She asks in shock with wide eyes and looks at Jensen, who's eyes are widened as well.

"Dad, seriously?" Jensen says with a clenched jaw. "I'm just asking, I don't want my son to be with someone who's cheating on him." Alan says with shrug. "Okay, wow, Alan I thought we both were happy that they're back together." Donna shakes her head in disbelief, feeling slightly ashamed.

Y/N looks at Jensen to see how disappointed he is of his father. She doesn't know, if she should leave or stay. She's also hurt about how his father is thinking of her. Did Jensen never tell them the truth?

Maybe Jensen and she shouldn't be back together- "Dad." Jensen says firmly and rips her out of her thoughts, making her blink. "She never cheated on me." "It's that what she's telling you?" Those words hit more than she thought.

"That's enough!" Mac shouts at Alan. "Honey, please stop crying." Donna says and stands up from her chair. Y/N hasn't even realized that tears have welled up in her eyes. Donna walks behind her and pats her shoulders gently.

"Everything will be fine, I absolutely support your relationship with Jensen." She whispers into her ear and hugs her from behind. "Dad, I love her! She was and is the only one that makes me happy." Jensen says firmly and honestly. "I know that." Donna says softly and puts her other hand on Jensen's shoulder.

"At least one of my parents." Jensen scoffs in disbelief. "Joanna was better for you." Alan says and looks coldly at Y/N. "That's enough!" Jensen and Donna say. Jensen stands up and throws his napkin on the plate in anger.

"I'm sorry mum, I'm not hungry anymore." He says with an apologetic smile and goes into the backyard to get some fresh air. Leaving her all alone. Great. "Dad what is wrong with you? I- we thought you like her." Josh says confused. "I do, but after what she did to him." "You want to know the truth?" Y/N speaks up and everyone looks at her. Tears streaming down her cheeks. "I already know the truth." He says while eating a piece of his food.

"I think you don't." Mac says. "Honey speak." Donna says. "I made mistakes, that's true. I'm not gonna deny that. At this time, when Jensen and I broke up, it wasn't feeling right anymore and I didn't think we should stay together anymore. It felt like a must, because of the press and the internet. We didn't see each other often, but-but I loved and still do love him...so much. I've never cheated on him, yes I met someone, but we never kissed or had sex. Nothing. I felt unwanted and unneeded-" She rambles on and chokes on a sob.

"She felt that way because of me." Jensen interrupts her, leaning against the doorframe. "But you were going to purpose to her, didn't you?" Alan asks with a frown. "Yeah, but I didn't notice how I made her feel or how I treated her I was most of the time irritated about everything. I noticed that after she told me that she wanted to end the relationship. She went to this guy, yes it's true, but it was after everything ended." Jensen continues. "To be honest, at first I thought she cheated on me, but Jared and Gen told me about everything, after I kept saying she betrayed me. When you know Jared and Gen, you know, they never lie."

"But when you felt this way-" he looks at her "-why are you back together?" Alan asks confused. "I got a job offer of Supernatural. When started I thinking about Jensen then, I realized I still had feelings for him. I thought I was over him, but I wasn't. Jensen and I met up and talked about everything. While we talked about everything, I noticed that it still feels like those years ago. He told me, he never stopped loving me. That's when we decided we should give us another try." She explains and looks at her hand in her lap.

"But it's okay, if you still don't trust me."

"Look, I'm really sorry-" She looks up and doesn't trust her ears as she hears him apologizing "-I-I didn't know the truth. I thought it was because our son-" he points at Jensen "-told us so."

"Hey, it's not his fault. Who would ever thought they would get back together?" Josh asks.

"Exactly, nobody." He adds. "Also Dad, since when do you believe in rumours from the press?" Josh asks with a raised eyebrow. "I really don't know." Alan says rubbing his temple,

Donna and the rest look at Alan, while Y/N looks at her hands. 'Now apologize.' Donna mouths to him. "Y/N, I guess I have to apologize." "You guess?" Jensen scoffs.

"It's okay, I guess I would have reacted the same way." She says with a weak smile. "Really? So you're not mad at me?" He asks. "No, already forgotten." She looks at her hands before giving Alan a weak smile. Jensen gazes at her, knowing she's lying.

He knows, it's definitely not okay. She's hurt, but he also knows she respects his parents. She would never say anything, that's rude or inappropriate. "Okay, the good vibes are gone now." Mac chuckles. "Seems like that." Y/N smiles at her. "Mum, thanks for dinner, but I think it's better when y/n/n and I leave now." Jensen says softly.

"Thanks Donna." Y/N says softly and hugs her, Josh and Mac. "I hope we see us next time under better circumstances." Donna says softly while they're making their way down the hallway to the front door. Y/N gives her a small smile. "Bye." She says one last time, before leaving the house and entering the car. Jensen does the same. Before he starts the car he looks at her and searching for her eyes, but she avoids looking at him. "You're okay?" "Yeah." She brushes it off.

"Can we just head home?" She adds. He doesn't say anything and starts the engine in response.

During the drive home they don't talk much, it's a real odd situation. "Can you stop being so...quiet?" He says while they arrive at their driveway. "Jens, what do you expect from me?" She looks at him for the first time and unbuckles her seatbelt. "I-I don't know, that you're not mad at me?" She sighs and reaches for his hand.

"Jay, I know it's not your fault we both thought both your parent are okay with that. Your mom was-is, but your dad-" she takes her hand away and looks at her lap "-your dad isn't okay with that. Yeah, maybe he apologized, but he sees me as the bitch, who cheated on his son. It hurts, that your dad doesn't like me anymore. It's an odd situation, Jensen. You know the truth and you also know I love you so so much, but maybe I am not the-"

"The right woman for me?" He scoffs and completes her sentence. "Yeah, I don't wanna be a wife, your dad doesn't like. It-it-" she chokes on a sob "-it breaks my heart even thinking about that, we just-" she's interrupted by Jensen's lips on hers. His hands cup her face and kisses her gently as her hand find its place on his neck.He stops and rests his forehead against hers.

"Please don't say that, I- I don't want to loose you ever again. Never." She looks into his green orbs and can't help but smile. "My mom, sister and brother are happy for me and to be honest for me it's more important, that my mom supports us than my father." He shrugs and smiles at me.

"Y/n/n, I love you more than everything. Since I got you back I'm the happiest man alive. You're the woman I want to marry, to have kids, a family with." He gives her a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Are you really sure about that I am the right one?" She asks him just above a whisper. "Don't you ever doubt that. You're making me a lucky man." He says with a laugh. She smiles slightly.

"Let's finally head inside." He adds and brings her hand to his lips and kiss it softly. She gets out of the car and walks to the front door. Jensen unlocks the door and she steps in. She kicks her shoes off, before both go upstairs into the bedroom, she changes into some comfy clothes and lies down on the bed.

He lies down next to her and looks at her with a frown. "About what are you thinking?" He asks. "About a lot-" she cuddles into his chest and he wraps his arm around her waist "-about what happened, about-" she lets out a sob "-about that fans hate me for being with you, these letters, the girl on the airport, about what has happened an hour ago. It's-" she takes a deep breath "it's too much to handle for me lately." She cries into his chest and fist his t-shirt in her hand. "Shhh." He strokes her head gently.

He hates seeing her this way, after a few minutes she cried herself to sleep. He takes his phone from the nightstand and opens Twitter. He has enough of how she's feeling, she's been treated like shit, although she hasn't done anything.

He tweets:

Read next part here!

——————

tag list: @leigh70 @jensensgirl @stoneyggirl2 @akshi8278 @mrschapter

TAG LIST is open☺️

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postguiltypleasures · 2 years

Text

My Peak TV Journey: *Russian Doll*

I caught up on Russian Doll just in time for the second season. I thought I would like it. The first episode or two of the first season felt like they were for charming someone else. As the show goes though Nadia’s Birthday party the first couple of times I wondered if I could get any pleasure from it. Her friends didn’t seem fun to me, (despite really liking Greta Lee in other shows) and I definitely didn’t like the men she was involved with. but as the events in the time loops escalated, I got why they’d set the Hellish ordeal of a time loop as beginning at this party.

It took me a while to get to watching Russian Doll and part of me is embarrassed. I’ve generally liked Natasha Lyonne, but I haven’t seen much of her work. I remember when Michael Rappaport wrote an article about what a terrible tenant she was because of her partying. I also recently realized that Rufus Wainwright’s song “Natasha” from his Want One album was about her. When a song on an album about various kinds of hedonism repeatedly tries to talk one through something “scary”, that says something. Knowing this about her history, and that she is one of the creators colored how the initial party scene feel to me. So it probably isn’t a surprise, or all that unintentional that viewers like me hate the part from the jump. Choosing a Harry Nilsson song about feeling the effects of spending one’s twenties partying to signal restarting the time loop is a fun way to underscore the lack of pleasure to be found there.

My feelings for the show almost immediately changed when Alan played by Charlie Barnett, who I am mostly unfamiliar with as an actor, became a regular part of the story. I relate to Alan in a way that I don’t with Nadia despite not actor familiarity, or that I’m closer to Nadia in gender, ethnicity and age. Personality wise, I have a lot more in common with Alan, so it’s not a surprise that the show became much more engaging when he showed up. Again, this has to be at least partially intentional by the show makers, as the connection between Alan and Nadia drives the plot towards its life affirming conclusion. In fact my biggest complaint about the second season is that there wasn’t enough Alan, and definitely not enough Alan and Nadia interaction.

I did love the casting of Chloë Sevigny as Nadia’s mother Nora. Sure she’s significantly older that Nora was when she died, let alone when she was pregnant with Nadia (as she is for most of the second season’s time traveling and becoming one’s ancestors plot) but that works to highlight what a rough life she led. I’ve always enjoyed Sevigny’s screen presence from The Last Days of Disco to Big Love. I always find her sympathetic, even when she does terrible things.

I did end up loving both seasons of the show. I liked the take on the time loop in the first season being analogous to the video games that Nadia programs. (If there is another season I hope that it explicitly plays more on this video game comparison.) I loved getting to know more of Nadia and Alan’s respective family histories in the second, especially getting to know more of Nadia’s birth mother Nora, and Nora’s relationship to the woman who ultimately raised her, Ruth (played by Elizabeth Ashley in the present day, and Annie Murphy when time traveled back to the early 1980s). By the end, I loved Ruth the way Nadia did. The endings of both seasons where the leads work through fear and trauma in surreal settings really worked for me emotionally.

#Russian Doll #Russian Doll Netflix #natasha lyonne #charlie barnett #russian doll season 2 #chloë sevigny #elizabeth ashley #annie murphy #peak tv #what i'm watching #Netflix #Nadia Vulvokov #Greta lee #Alan Zaveri #Lenora Vulvokov #Nora Vulvokov #rufus wainwright #harry nilsson #TV Thoughts

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ceruleanmusings · 1 year

Text

I posted 1,472 times in 2022

95 posts created (6%)

1,377 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@victoriapedrcttis

@bluejay-in-flight

@raging-violets

@dumbnojutsu

@themistymermaid

I tagged 460 of my posts in 2022

#writing ref - 57 posts

#mack rambles - 36 posts

#teen wolf - 34 posts

#beyblade - 30 posts

#for future reference - 25 posts

#holes 2003 - 17 posts

#isaac lahey - 15 posts

#answered - 14 posts

#teen wolf meta - 14 posts

#icymi - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#also like how hil felt for him right away and then got annoyed or crestfallen at seeing her with another girl who isn't decidedly a

My Top Posts in 2022:

Holes: D-Tent Aesthetic [1/9] ↳ Alan / Squid 🦑

“Maybe my mom’ll stop drinkin’ and my dad’ll come home.”

32 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

See the full post

37 notes - Posted October 31, 2022

@digiweek Prompt 3: Recess / Humor

Let me tell ya, there’s nothing from this movie that tickles me more than the fact that tiny Terriermon knocked over an entire child just from walking.

48 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

Another Holes head cannon - Sam wasn’t shot, he was lynched. We all know how a certain group of people like to sugar coat their doings. They burned down the school house with his body and that’s why Hector and Stanley ever see Sam’s skeleton.

Oh i totally agree with this! I've always wondered what happened to his skeleton because, if it were in the boat, it'd be found by then wouldn't it? Even with the heat and dirt and dust storms, something would be left behind. Though I imagine even Louis Sachar didn't want to be THAT traumatizing for realism's sake 😂.

50 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

@digiweek Prompt 2: Sports Day / Relationships

“Willis, I’m not your pet, I’m your friend...”

I love this friendship/partnership so much that it’s (part of) the reason Terriermon is my favorite digimon. They just fit so well, I can’t imagine anyone else being Willis’ digimon partner. Maybe they would’ve bonded and worked well together but they wouldn’t have been the friend that Willis needed.

Time and time again Terriermon showed his unconditional love and loyalty to Willis as they spent years watching Cocomon get taken over by the virus and follow him around to try and stop him from hurting others while also trying in vain to find a way to help him. Yes sometimes Terriermon complained about walking, about the heat, about having to do everything alone but not once did he ever think about leaving Willis. It was his brother so Terriermon always had a stake in fighting, but he never left Willis’ side. They were friends, partners, and if Willis was going to do everything he could to help his brother, Terriermon was going to be with him.

It’s Terriermon that ultimately helps Willis realize he’s never truly alone and that letting others into his life isn’t a bad thing. That getting help and having others to lean on is a choice of the brave and not something to be seen as weak. That trying to do everything himself, that blaming himself and self-isolating wasn’t the answer. Terriermon was the right voice, the right friend for Willis to grow past his shame and guilt and accept others into his life.

No matter what, he would protect Willis, even going so far as to go one-on-one in a very uneven battle as a rookie vs a champion when running into Wendigomon in New York. Even then Terriermon held his own because Willis needed him.

Maybe it took a while for Willis to get out of his own head that his “pets” were more than that, that they were autonomous beings, but it was clear he and Terriermon had a strong bond. He cared for him (and Cocomon), played with him, ensured he had enough blankets to keep from being cold the night before the big Wendigomon showdown, allowed him to give his legs a break by carrying him around. In one view it could be WIllis doing the bare minimum, but having Terriermon around and wanting to keep him protected and safe and out of harm’s way so badly shows how much Terriermon has meant to him over the years.

And he was afraid to put the label “friend” on him because that meant he could be another one, another friend, that could be taken away from him too. But holding Terriermon at arm’s length was only hurting them both and they needed each other to learn exactly what being partners and friends meant to get them to the place where they could fight together and be a proper team.

But in the end they’re exactly what one another needed: a friend.

74 notes - Posted July 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #of course the top 5 posts for my year in review are holes digimon and teen wolf related 😂

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polikszena · 1 year

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Ficlet Advent Calendar 2022 - December 2

Title: Christmas in July

Fandom: The Lost City

Characters: Loretta Sage, Alan Caprison, Beth Hatten

Relationships: Loretta/Alan

Word Count: 964

Rating: Teen and up audiences

Summary: Loretta Sage has to write a Christmas special to the adventures of Dr Lovemore and Dash, but she hasn't celebrated Christmas since her husband's death and it's July anyway. Luckily, Alan has an idea.

Notes: Rewatched The Lost City the other day and had this random idea. I've thought it would be a nice addition to the challenge.

December 2 - Christmas in July

“A Christmas special? Are you kidding me?”

Loretta Sage felt like this was some terrible joke, but Beth Hatten, her publisher, still wasn’t laughing.

“I’m serious,” she said. “I want you to write a Christmas special. The readers would love it!”

“I’d love it, too,” Alan Caprison, Loretta’s now boyfriend and the cover model for her novels joined in. The two women had no idea why he was present in this meeting, and honestly, neither did he. “It would be something new and exciting!”

“You’d still be shirtless,” Beth told him. “Or at least would wear a Santa costume open.”

That toned down his enthusiasm a little bit and freak Loretta out even more.

“An open Santa costume? Why?” she burst out as she already imagined Alan with his wig, posing as Dash McMahon on the cover wearing Santa’s red coat, but still showing his bare chest and six-pack. “Not that you wouldn’t look good in it, but a Christmas special, really?”

“What? A little festive adventure: chunky sweaters, hot cocoa, mistletoes, a love scene by the fireplace…” Beth said.

“Beth, it’s July!” Loretta cut in, right on time before she could have visualized Dr Lovemore and Dash having sex on the floor, right in front of the fireplace, their moans and sighs mixing with the popping of the fire. “And I haven’t celebrated Christmas since John’s death!”

“Then this is the perfect moment to start doing it again!” the publisher told her.

“But how will I write a Christmas story in the middle of summer?” Loretta wondered.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” the other woman assured her. “I want to see a story proposal in four days.”

Loretta shook her head. Ever since she had been a widow, she didn’t see the point to celebrate Christmas; it didn’t make sense, and now Beth wanted to force her into a festive mood in the middle of the summer. How the hell was she supposed to get into Christmas mood in July?

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this,” she said then she left the office, leaving an already exhausted publisher and a pensive model who had just realized he didn’t need much to get into the festive mood. Thinking about his favourite parts from the movie Home Alone was enough to do the trick. Now he had an idea.

No, he didn’t set up booby traps in Loretta’s house, it was something completely different. Making sure she was asleep, Alan sneaked out of bed, closed the door, and began to work. Humming on some Christmas songs, he started putting up tinsel garlands in the kitchen and the living room, then hung some stockings to the fireplace, placed some ornaments here and there: reindeer, Santa, angels, and snowmen, then she added some fairy lights. He found it funny that it was still the middle of July, yet he was humming Santa Claus Is Coming to Town while turning Loretta’s house into Winter Wonderland to get her into the Christmas mood.

Once he was done, he called Beth, and in less than an hour both she and Allison, Loretta’s social media assistant were in the living room, decorating a six feet tall artificial pine tree in the middle of the night. It wasn’t easy as they had to do it in almost complete silence, not wanting to wake Loretta up, otherwise the surprise was gone. Now Alan knew what it was like to be one those parents who decorated their Christmas tree at night, while their kids were still sleeping.

Loretta woke up to the smell of coffee next morning and had absolutely no idea what was going on in her house during the night. Entering the living room, she thought she might still be dreaming as the place was heavily decorated with tinsel garland, ornaments, and candles. Moreover, a huge (artificial) Christmas tree was standing in the corner, with colorful baubles and fairy lights. It looked like a commercial. On the coffee table she spotted some DVDs of Christmas movies: from While You Were Sleeping and Love Actually to Around the World in 80 Days.

“Since when is this a Christmas movie?” She mumbled, picking up the DVD.

“Good morning, honey,” she heard Alan’s voice as he walked in from the kitchen, holding two mugs of cocoa, wearing a navy-blue T-shirt with a gingerbread man on it and a pair of festive boxers.

“What the hell is going on?” she wondered.

“It’s Christmas in the summer!” he announced, offering her one of the mugs.

“Did you do all of this?” she asked, looking around the heavily decorated room. Honestly, if her brain hadn’t known that it was July, she could have been tricked that it was actually Christmas.

“Not alone, I had my elves to help with the tree,” he admitted. “I just wanted you to have a merry little Christmas, that’s all.”

A smile touched Loretta’s lips. Even though she didn’t like the holidays that much, the effort certainly warmed her heart. She finally took the mug from Alan, wrapping her fingers around the cold ceramics. It was still July, after all.

“And I guess Beth won’t leave me alone until I write that stupid special,” she mused.

“No, she won’t,” he shook his head. “So I’ve thought it might be easier figuring it out if you are in the festive mood.”

“Thank you for this, Alan,” she said, sliding an arm around his waist, while still holding the mug with her other hand. “I really appreciate it.”

Hearing her words, the model was beaming. He gently wrapped his arms around her (trying not to spill out the cocoa) and pressed a kiss on the top of her head.

“Merry Christmas, Loretta,” he said.

The writer looked up at him and smiled.

“Merry Christmas.”

(Read it on AO3)

#the lost city #loretta sage #alan caprison #beth hatten #loretta x alan #ficlet advent calendar 2022 #my fics #christmas

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lamarckianenterprises · 1 year

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The Meeting & The Rat (Pokemon AU Fanfic)

Two short stories I wrote to apply for a pokemon setting tabletop RPG around two years ago when the prospective GM asked me to write about how my character (a travelling pokemon professor type travelling the region and performing in contests to study the newly discovered type shifted pokemon in the region, and impress the nobility in order to literally obtain research grant funding) first got his Pokemon, and how his relationship with said Pokemon developed.

Yes, I wrote two whole short stories just to apply for a tabletop rpg ran by a complete stranger because he asked. No the game didn't go anywhere, it literally conked out after a day or so when we asked him some really basic questions about the system we were using and he just kinda chose to kick us all out. I am not salty about it at all.'

Gerald took another sip from his glass of iced tea to fight off the heat. It was one of those days, the kind that had uncomfortably clear skies above, and a dry wind below. The kind that made him all too glad to spend most of it at home, and just a little guilty about having someone over.

Especially when there was little of interest there to begin with. His estate was a modest one after all, little more than a cozy two room flat. With a living room dominated mostly by the imposing pair of bookcases, and a small dining table. Which coincidentally, is where he was seated at the moment, right across an overworked fan, and the stout form of his guest, Alan.

He was an old college friend, one of the few he had managed to keep in touch with over the years. Although the ring on the man’s finger, and the short conversation they had about his new wife was a surprise, and an unpleasant one at that. Was he the only one his age who wasn’t settling down already? And more importantly, did he really not get an invitation?

This, and a few other awkward thoughts bounced around in Gerald’s head as Alan broke the silence with the most uncomfortable question of all. His guest’s thin lips still curled up into that pleasant and unknowing smile as he said, “What about you? Seeing any future Mrs. Redwoods these days?” and caused the gaunt man to choke a little on icy water.

Gerald quickly put the glass down on the table, one hand still brushing and tapping on his chest as he stammered out a, “No, no. I haven't had the time to meet anyone lately, work’s been keeping me pretty busy. You know about the type shifts right?”

Alan, realizing that he’d struck a nerve, quickly replied with an equally uncomfortable, “Oh boy, do I ever. Let me tell you, folks back at Redriver seem to think that just because their Goldeen is colored a shiny black, we would just know that it’s a poison type obligate carnivore or something. Pisses me off.”

Gerald nodded sagely, his voice taking on a more confident tone as he said, “I hear you, we’re still trying to figure out what’s setting them off. We know that type shifts have happened naturally in the past, both in other regions and in our’s, but having new subspecies pop up at this rate is a little…. Strange to say the least. We haven’t found anything that could explain it yet though. At least, not on this scale.” Alan raised his own glass of warm tea up slightly, gesturing with it at his host as he said, “Well, good luck with that, I’d offer to help out, but you know.” Gerald resisted the urge to roll his eyes a little, “Yeah yeah, the long nights, the strict hierarchy, and the ‘lack of respect’, I know why you stopped Alan. But It’s kind of a shame though, you were always at the top of the class back then.” Alan’s smile didn’t waver for a moment as he said, “Don’t forget the government salary too, that certainly didn’t help. And sure I could have made a lot more if I got a job at one of those bigshot companies, but it turns out that I didn’t really want to study Pokemon you know? I just wanted to pet them.” “You just wanted to-,” Gerald buried his face in his hands for a moment, and gently massaged his temples a little. Before he let out a sigh, and said, “But don’t you ever regret it? Giving it all up to run your father’s daycare?” Alan looked thoughtful for a moment, as he turned his gaze away to stare out of the nearby window, "Well, whenever I think about that lately. I just think about my wife, the beautiful growlithes we keep, and the home we made, and I just remember just how lucky I am. 'Course, knowing that you're still living alone in this dingy flat helps too."

Gerald let out a bitter laugh as he let his hand slowly slide back down to the table, “Wow, that’s just…” Alan’s smile widened a little as he leaned in, and lightly punched his host’s shoulder, “Oh don’t take it the wrong way mate, I’m not judging you for that, but we just have different priorities is all. You know how it is, while everyone else was out partying and experimenting back in college, I was stuck in one new project after another, and ignoring all the pretty birds while I toiled away to be the very best. It felt right back then, but looking back, it all just seemed like a waste.” “Well, I’m glad that you’ve found your calling, and about the marriage too, but we could have done all this over the phone you know,” Gerald said, seeming unamused by his guest’s behavior.

Alan let out a hearty laugh as he slunk back to his seat, and began rummaging around for something inside of his brown bag, “We certainly could, but I’ve missed seeing that face of yours. A video call just isn’t the same! And besides, I couldn’t give you this over the phone now could I?” “Give me what?” Gerald asked, before his eyes widened a little, at the sight of his old friend placing a small white and red capsule down on the table before them.

“Your new best friend, if you’ll have her that is,” Alan calmly stated, as he idly spun the premier ball around on the table with his index finger, and took out his phone. Gerald eyed the ball suspiciously, as if its contents could lash out at him at any moment, “Alan, you know that I’m not….” Alan quickly raised a finger up, as he cut Gerald off with a, “Before you say anything, I need you to take a look at this.” The guest quickly followed up his statement by flipping his phone over, and showing his host a particular video.

A small but excitable dog was laying on her side with its head pressed up against the hardwood floors. The dog let out a cute little bark as it noticed the camera, and turned its face up to stare right into it. Even going so far as to roll around on the floor in excitement, which conveniently allowed Gerald to notice something strange about the little beasty. It was certainly shaped like a Rockruff to be sure, a not all too uncommon sight around these parts, but its platinum fur had a strange metallic sheen to it, that made him wonder if it was something more than a particularly rare breed.

Alan’s smile widened a little as Gerald stared at the Rockruff’s antics on the screen, “Precious ain’t she? Someone left her mother alone too long with a particularly rowdy Meowth a couple months ago, and the owner just left the egg behind when we offered it. We’ve been raising her up back in the daycare up till now, but what she really needs is a proper owner, you know?”

It took a moment before Gerald shook his head, and countered with a simple, "If she's that precious, then why aren't you raising her yourself? You love dogs don’t you?"

Alan’s smile wavered a little as he shook his head, "My hands are tied unfortunately, Archie and Maxine don't appreciate the competition, it's one of the few things they can agree on."

Gerald seemed thoughtful for a moment as he tried to remember something, "Maxine the.... Growlithe?" His guest let out a hearty laugh at his response, before he quickly corrected the man, "Maxine the wife actually. She won't let me adopt another dog, especially not with a baby on the way. I did tell you about that didn't I?"

Gerald opened his mouth a little, letting it hang open for a bit before he countered with, "No-congratulations. But Alan, this is all a little sudden, and I really don't know if I could raise... the dog."

Alan for his part, smoothly replied with, "Her name is Esther actually, and don't worry. She's taken to her training pretty well. You know if it were up to me I'd keep her for another couple of months just to teach her how to be a proper companion, but I think my wife knows me a little too well for that." He laughed a little after he spoke, it was a short and awkward laugh.

Gerald awkwardly laughs a little in response, "Still, you know that I've never really raised a Pokemon before."

Alan chuckled a little, "Well you should! You can't really be a proper Pokemon professor without one, mate. And besides, why don't you just try it out for a couple of months? I promise that she won't be a burden, and if it just isn't working out, you could always ship her all the way back to me. No fuss, no muss."

Gerald opened his mouth for a moment, but quickly closed it. Looking thoughtful for a moment as he tried to think this through without paying too much attention to the running feed of Esther’s greatest hits. It took a while before he finally relented, and said, ".... can I at least see the dog?"

Alan smiled a little wider, his hand reaching down to take the ball in his hands as he said, "I thought you'd never ask."

The guest slowly stood up a little in his seat as he pointed the ball down, and took aim at a very particular spot before he clicked the button. And sent out the soft, warm, and sleepy form of Esther onto the edge of the table, and just beside Gerald’s hand.

“You bastard,” Gerald stated, as his free hand accidentally brushed against Esther’s soft fur. The noise, and the slight touch causing the little dog to shift in place a little. Facing directly towards the host’s face as her sapphire colored eyes slowly blinked open, and her mouth opened up to let out a little yawn.

“She enjoys Chester brand Sausages, regular naps in the sun, and she has the most adorable response to belly rubs I’ve seen so far,” Alan said, quickly listing off Esther’s good points as his host tried and failed to resist the urge to find out the third point for himself.

Gerald’s hand slowly, and hesitantly moving to scratch the platinum dog’s belly as it simply stared at his face. An awkward moment passing before Esther let out a little bark, and stuck its tongue out, seemingly relaxing just a little as it let the host rub at her exposed belly. The dog even started to wrap her tiny body around his hand a little, as she let out pleased sounding barks.

“She’s too used to people to be all that useful as a guard Pokemon I’m afraid, but on the bright side, you can have guests over for a party without stressing her out, or needing to put her away.” Alan stated, his smile growing a little warmer as he saw Gerald’s response.

It took a bit before Gerald tried to pull his hand away, causing Esther to let out a disappointed sounding bark, before she quickly snapped up to her feet, and leapt straight into the host’s warm lap. Thankfully managing to avoid digging in with her distressingly metal spikes.

“Oh, she decides when you're done scratching her belly, not the other way around unfortunately, haven’t managed to train that out of her yet," Alan remarked, as Esther’s shuffling and barking convinces Gerald to stick his hand back in there. Only to quieten her down of course.

A few moments pass before Gerald’s gaze finally pulls away from the cuddly Rockruff. The host staring deep into Alan’s eyes as he quietly says, "What have I done?" With one hand still gently scratching Esther’s belly.

Only for Alan to flatly reply with a short, and simple, "You've been adopted by a dog, congratulations."

A few months had passed since that fateful day, and the oppressive heat of the summer had given way to the cool autumn rains. It was a mixed blessing to the inexperienced dog owner, as he found himself needing to devise new and interesting ways to arrange air fresheners throughout their home to keep the scent of damp canine from lingering too long.

But of course the new season had its upsides too. Such as the warm and seemingly content form of his dog Esther curled up on his lap. And while she had always been a little affectionate, it was still nice to know that he was appreciated, especially after all he had to learn since he first met her. Who knew that training a Pokemon would turn out to be so much work? Well, most of his colleagues as it turns out, who were thankfully quite happy to give him a few pointers here and there, which was a lot more help than his ‘good friend’ ended up being. After all, the man didn’t even bother to tell him that Esther was a type shift somewhere inside of the long rant of his about the dog’s preferences, and day to day behavior.

Still though while he can’t say that his life wasn’t massively improved by her presence, he had to admit that the man was right, she really wasn’t much of a bother at all. And having her around with him throughout the day made him feel at ease, even if she did have to stay inside of her ball a little longer than either of them would prefer.

But of course, it was at this moment of peace and tranquility, with Esther curled up in his lap, a fresh cup of tea in his right hand, and an interesting novel on his left, that something felt the need to make its presence known. The lights in their small flat abruptly shut off, plunging the two of them within an uncomfortably dark and cold room.

“Ah, that’s not great,” Gerald remarked to himself, as he gingerly put his book and cup aside, hoping not to spill anything while his eyes adjusted to the relative darkness. Only to drop the entire cup rim down onto the table as his hound abruptly decided that she wanted to go down now, and confidently leapt onto the floor below.

“Wha-hey!” Gerald said as he ineffectively complained at Esther. Before he let out a sigh, and moved on to try and find the nearest pack of tissues, while his hound sniffed at the air around them.

“Esther, you know you can’t just jump off anymore,” the man grumbled, while he wiped the milky tea off the wooden table. Managing to wipe off just enough to stave off the worst of it before he heard Esther let out a loud bark.

The hound seemingly ignored the man’s complaints as it leapt in place, and gestured at the small and awkward space in between the bookshelves, where he did his best to hide the small gap leading into the wall’s cavity.

“What are you going on about Esther? There’s nothing there,” Gerald asked. Before he slowly walked towards her, and turned his phone’s flashlight on, hoping to calm his yapping dog just a little with its presence.

Only for him to suddenly freeze in place, as he hears the sound of tiny feet scampering about inside of the walls, and promptly wonders if he left one of his windows a little too open. “Esther, you stay right there okay? Don’t get any closer to… whatever that was,” he said, hoping that the excitable oversized puppy would wait patiently while he fetched a comfort broom.

And to her credit, Esther did try to wait for Gerald to make his way back, for about a minute or two, before she threw caution to the wind and barked her way inside of the hole. The small dog found herself stuck halfway inside of the gap, and squinting straight at the blurry, and panicked form of a rounded out yellow creature in the darkness.

The creature for its part, seemed to be much more terrified of Esther than she was of it. The blurry, pointed eared, and almost mouse like creature letting out a strange cry as its beady eyes darted between the sealed off exit, and the sizable, and very loud dog preventing its escape.

A brief moment of relative calm passing as Gerald turned his gaze towards his dog, and managed to shout, “No! Esther, get out of there!” Before the stress, and the loud noises convinced the cornered rat to attempt something drastic. Twin sparks of electricity light up the rat’s face for a moment, revealing a terrified expression that stood in stark contrast to the blankness and regret beginning to show on Esther’s. Before it let out a panicked cry of, “CHUUUUUUUUU,” and sent twin motes of lightning surging from its cheeks, and onto the metallic, and trapped form of Esther.

Jagged yellow light momentarily outlines Esther’s form as she convulses and twitches against the walls. The rat’s electric attack leaves its aggressor stunned, and its escape route clear. The yellow rat immediately leapt over the Rockruff’s body, scrabbling over their form as it made its way out of the gap. Only stopping to hiss at Gerald’s poorly armed form before the damp Pikachu leapt out of the nearest window, intending to take its chances with the rain. And leaving the man behind to clean up the mess.

Gerald for his part, wisely decided to back away a little as the Pikachu beat its retreat. The man stayed oddly still for a moment as he took in one deep breath after another, before he quickly rushed to Esther’s side. Almost tripping over himself in his haste as he leaned down to check her pulse, and found himself letting out a slightly relieved sigh as he found her to be injured, paralyzed, and scared, but very much alive.

“You’re alright, you’re alright,” he repeats, both to himself, and to Esther, as he gently attempts to slide her out of the hole, only to suddenly stop after she let out an uncomfortable whine. Causing the man to fumble for her ball while he internally cursed the Pikachu, along with his own negligence, and ineptitude.

It took an uncomfortably long time before he found her ball on the coffee table, and a bit longer for him to awkwardly say, “I’m sorry!” as he recalled her, and made a mad dash towards the door. The man hurriedly put on the nearest jacket and pair of shoes before he slammed the door open and closed, barely remembering to lock it behind him in his haste.

Gerald’s heart pounded in his chest as he braved the cold rain, and the colder stares of the people he passed and bumped into on the street on his way to the nearest clinic. And he found himself to be soaked, tired, and absolutely miserable by the time he finally arrived.

Gerald’s haggard, and slightly panicked state, along with the gasping breaths that interrupted his words causing the bored receptionist to assume that he was the patient for a moment. Until the man finally took out his ball, and caused a nearby trainer to laugh a little as he explained what actually happened.

It was one of the few times he had considered punching a woman in his life, but fortunately, it didn’t take long before he was dragged into another room. Where he watched over Esther while the resident doctor examined her condition, and found absolutely nothing wrong with her. Well at least, nothing you wouldn’t expect from being on the losing end of a Pokemon battle.

#pokemon #fanfic #fanfiction #alternate universe

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rockabye-rinzler · 2 years

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so, i wasn’t expecting so many to agree with me when i made that text post! wow! and just like i said in those tags, here’s the separate post explaining myself and my actions :3

First and foremost, I have nothing against any of the other characters this franchise has given us. Sam, Quorra, Alan, even Flynn and Dyson even though I would strangle them both with my bare hands. But when the franchise is called “Tron”, it sure would be nice for Tron to actually show up lmao. With that being said, lets get into it:

Overall I really think the movie should be about Tron overcoming/learning to live with his trauma (being Rinzler, betrayal all around, crisis of faith, all that jazz)

He emerges from the sea of simulation and throughout the movie he keeps flashing back and forth between memories from both Tron and Rinzler,

Naturally he’s horrified bc he’s the “hero of the grid” yet here he is having memories of doing some fucked up shit (aka show me what happened during his time as Rinzler)

Have the movie be about his journey back to Tron city, and his journey about returning to, not the hero he was, but the hero he wants to be

Give him more agency, give him c h o i c e s

I want this movie to be heavy in terms of its subject matter. Show us a hero who lost everything, including their own mind and free will

OOOO let this be an opportunity to give me more of Tron with a temper. Uprising gave us a lil t a s t e, but I want more, you feel me?

How did all this affect his view and relationship with the users? “I fight for the users”, and yet where were they when you needed them to fight for you? hm???

GIVE ME TRON MONOLOGUES (okay maybe not "monologues" but let me hear him talk about what's going through his head or s o m e t h i n g)

Speaking of Uprising, that and Betrayal are really the only time Tron gets any real characterization. And yet, not even the fucking comic book could make him the main character, smh

Anywho I want a Tron vs Rinzler fight, send tweet. end of post.

But seriously, I know they wouldn’t be able to physically fight bc obviously, but it’s still a fun thought

Throughout the movie he comes to realize and accept what happened, and this is a part of him that he has to live with

Give me like, a phantom Rinzler in Tron’s head. How he’s terrified that he’s going to become him again, especially when he gets angryyyy. Like his eyes and lights flash orange or some shit. v sexy

hm, i hate to say it but give me something similar to bucky barnes/winter soldier. those kinda vibes

Yet, while man vs. self is a fun conflict,,,let’s have a guest villain appearance by none other than Dyson! Wahoo!

So alongside Tron’s own internal conflict, someone is trying to gather what is left of Clu’s forces to become the new system admin. As Tron is figuring out himself, he’s gotta uncover who’s behind this dastardly plot!

Lo and behold, it’s Dyson

“But Bec!” I hear you cry, “Why Dyson? I really like Dyson!”

In conclusion, while yes beating Tron with the trauma stick throughout this movie is a neat idea, I do overall want this movie to be about his growth. What it is he’s fighting for. What it means to be a hero. And not just for the grid, but also for himself 💖

Listen, listen. I thought about other “villains” like Cyrus, or maybe the return of another virus, or even Dillinger Jr, but Dyson feels like a much more interesting foil to Tron (this post is already long enough so i’ll spare the specifics)

They fight, they yell about what's become of them and the grid, they fight some more, Tron wins bc of course he does lmao (Dyson couldn't beat him in Uprising, sure as shit can't do it now)

Tron looks at his hands (similar to that ONE flashback in Legacy) to see himself holding his blue and orange discs. Realizes he's stronger now than he was before 😌

(I forgot to mention he has 2 discs this whole time still, whoops)

#BOY THAT WAS A LOT SORRY #tron #tron legacy #i dont usually get the chance to articulate myself like this #so if youre here and you read this thank you sm #PLEASE feel free to add your own thoughts to this!!#whether that means adding to this or making a post of your own #if you do make your own post please tag me #id love to see it!#also yes i drew this just for this post

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chaostheoryy · 2 years

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Safe and Sound [Alan Grant X GN!Reader]

Summary: After returning home from the Jurassic Park catastrophe, Alan finds himself gravitating towards you. It’s subtle and sweet and the more time passes, the more you realize that there may be something unfamiliar brewing in his head. Could the infamous Dinosaur Man actually be falling for you?

Rating: General

Warnings: Nothing serious. Just canon-typical references to the events on Isla Nublar and kissing/making out (nothing too heated, just pure intimacy).

Word Count: 3.6K

A/N: This takes place somewhere between Jurassic Park and Jurassic Park III. It’s just a fluffy exploration of post-Isla Nublar life and a chance for me to shower my comfort character with much needed love. (As always, no beta.)

The failure of Jurassic Park was a turning point. Not just in terms of scientific advancement and bioengineering ambition, but in your relationship with Alan Grant as well.

When he returned from Isla Nublar, it was obvious that he’d never be quite the same. Sure he went right back to his usual quiet, studious self and spent most of his days in the dirt or at his desk but something was still...off. He said very little, showed minuscule interest in anything other than work, and made it a point to avoid lectures as often as possible. That tiny social battery that made it difficult for him to maintain relationships prior to the overseas disaster had only grown smaller. He grew distant from friends and family. His weekly phone calls with Dr. Sattler turned to monthly chats before they stopped altogether. Day by day, the world started to see less and less of the infamous Dinosaur Man.

You, however, only saw him more.

As the main site admin and manager of his dig crew, you spent more time collaborating with Alan than anyone. If there was ever a change in schedule, a need for funding, or even just a print out of the latest field publications, you were the one he went to. It was a partnership that had been established long before the events on Isla Nublar; he trusted you wholeheartedly to keep him and his team afloat.

After he returned from Jurassic Park, you found yourself all but shadowed by him. Whether it was lingering in your trailer after a meeting or asking if you would join him for lunch, you became closer to him than ever. He started to brew you coffee in the mornings and made it a point to stop by your desk whenever he could, even if it was just to ask how things were going on the flyers for grad student outreach programs. Things he had no real need to be familiar with became topics of conversations that he initiated.

A few months of this subtle orbiting passed before you finally found the courage to broach the subject. Confronting Alan Grant was like trying to wrangle a startled deer: either he was going to spring from your grasp and disappear into the wilderness or he was going freeze up and retreat inward. You didn’t want to frighten him or make him feel like he’d done something wrong but you needed to understand what he was dealing with.

“Alan?”

“Hm?”

“What’s going on with you?” You asked one morning when he decided to bring his newest research project into your work trailer rather than his own tent.

Brow furrowed, he looked up from his hoard of books and notes. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.”

“What’s going on with you emotionally, I mean. This past week, you’ve spent more time in here with me than out in the field with the crew. Don’t get me wrong, I love the company. I do. I just don’t understand why you’d rather listen to me vent about website organization than get your hands dirty.”

He blinked. The way he seemed puzzled by your words made it clear that he wasn’t even aware of this shift. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that his sudden desire to be around someone that often was so out of the ordinary.

“Oh. I don’t know. I guess it’s just become a bit of a habit.”

“Don’t the constant phone calls and clacking keyboard sounds annoy you?”

“Not really.”

“You actually enjoy being around me?”

“I do. Is there a reason I shouldn’t?”

You chuckled and leaned back in your chair. “Not any specifics I can think of. I’m just surprised you’d even wanna hang around. It’s not exactly exciting work,” you said, “Plus, you don’t normally like spending time with people as it is.”

He pondered your observation. It’s true. Alan was far cry from being a socialite. Until he returned from Isla Nublar, every meal and break had been taken in the privacy of his own tent. If any of the team members threw a get together to celebrate a birthday or anniversary, he would only have one beer before retiring for the evening. Bars were a no-go. Dating wasn’t even an afterthought. No one in the world was more content flying solo than him.

“There’s something comforting about you. I can’t put my finger on it but I just…I feel safe here.”

“Safe from what?”

“From my thoughts. When I’m alone, it’s hard not to think about Jurassic Park. I’ll hear the crickets outside and remember the forests on the island. A warm breeze will blow at just the right angle and make my skin crawl because it feels exactly like the muggy breath of the Tyrannosaur. Tools will hit stone with a soft click and sound just like the raptors’ claws tapping the floor outside my door…”

He slammed his eyes closed, immediately trying to shake the image from his mind. Both his jaw and his fist clenched as he let out a shaky exhale. Even from across the room you could see a shudder roll through his body.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring all that up…”

“It’s alright,” he reassured you with a tight smile, “It can’t be helped. Some nightmares choose to follow you when you wake up. But having you around…It makes it easier to leave them on the pillow.”

Something tugged at your heartstrings. It was impossible to overlook the power of his words and the implications of what they meant. You had become Alan’s comfort person. He was clinging to every opportunity to be around you because your presence kept him grounded to reality. Nightmares and flashbacks didn’t plague his mind when he was by your side. Instead he was able to focus on the things in life that brought him peace and happiness.

While he didn’t say it with words, it was clear to you that he was revealing something else to you in that moment: he loved you. Your connection with him had grown from a respectful, professional relationship into something new and beautiful. He wanted to know your thoughts and opinions on certain things not because he needed a second opinion but because they actually mattered to him. He wanted to truly know you, to understand the things that made you, well, you.

You wanted to reply and tell him how glad you were to know that you could help him grow past the trauma but, before you could even gather your thoughts into a concise remark, the door to your trailer opened. One of the bright-eyed grad students poked his head in. He scanned your desk briefly until movement at the table in the corner drew his attention.

“Ah, Dr. Grant! We’ve been looking all over for you,” the student said excitedly, “We’ve found something you’ll wanna see.”

“What is it?”

“Utahraptor eggs. Billy’s still working on digging them out but we’re pretty sure we’ve got have almost half a dozen fossilized together.”

There was a gleam in Alan’s eye. It was that look of childish glee that you only saw when he made a particularly good find or got lost in a presentation about raptor social behaviors. Little moments like those made you smile, made you forget just how badly Jurassic Park had shaken him up. Fossils still held the innocence of discovery and theory. They gave him the reigns to imagine the world before his own.

“Tell Billy to put the brush down,” he said as he hurriedly started closing up the books in front of him, “I want to be there for the final reveal.”

“You got it.”

The grad student slipped outside once again. You watched as Alan fumbled with his paperwork and publications, a laugh vibrating in your chest when he started mumbling under his breath.

“Alan, just leave it there. I’ll take care of it.”

“I don’t want to leave you with a mess. I’ve already intruded on your space enough.”

You rose from your desk and walked over to him. Smiling, you grabbed the books already in his arms.

“Relax,” you said softly as you placed them back on the table, “I don’t mind holding onto your stuff for a while.”

Once your hands were free again, you reached up to fix the collar of his shirt. While your observational skills were far from those of a renowned detective or psychiatrist, you immediately noted a change in his demeanor when your fingers grabbed onto his shirt. His breath caught in his throat. His jaw tightened. His posture became straighter, more restrained. Every muscle in his body seemed to freeze while his eyes danced across your face.

It was the closest you’d every really gotten to him before. With the requirements of the job and the tight spaces in which you often had to work, it was impossible not to come into contact with one another from time to time. Shoulders bumped every now and then, hands brushed against each other during a handoff of notes or morning coffee. Every touch was fleeting and unintentional. This, however, was all your choice. You were placing yourself in his space with purpose and, if you were being honest with yourself, pure intimacy.

“There. Much better.”

He blinked, eyelashes fluttering over his cheek when the sound of your voice pulled him out of his daze. His Adam’s apple bobbed. Whatever air he had instinctively been holding at the back of his throat came out in a quiet exhale and the taut muscles in his shoulders loosened.

“Thanks,” he said quietly, “For that. And for watching over my work.”

“You’re welcome. Now go before Billy gets impatient and finishes the dig himself.”

A small chuckle rumbled in his throat. “He keeps us all on our toes, doesn’t he?”

The two of you exchanged glances, gentle smiles painted across both of your faces and heavy air of unspoken attraction between you. Then, with a small nod of farewell, he stepped out of the trailer into the afternoon sun.

***

The next morning, the new daily routine kicked right back in. You showered, dressed, and checked in with all of the team members before returning to the office trailer. Sure enough, Alan was there with a fresh pot of coffee in hand.

“Morning,” he greeted as he started pouring the scorching beverage into your favorite mug.

“Good morning to you too. Sleep well?”

“As well as any man can after spending several hours in the heat arguing with Billy Brennan. I don’t know where he developed that attitude. He’s even more stubborn now than the day we hired him.”

You sat down at the table where you had organized his work from yesterday into a neat pile.

“He’s passionate about field work and far more devoted to his studies than cultivating a social life. Sounds like someone I know,” you said playfully.

Grabbing the mugs of coffee from the counter, he walked over to join you. He placed your cup in front of you before taking his seat directly across the table. An amused smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“Maybe he is learning something from me after all.”

The next half hour or so was spent discussing the previous day’s find. The Utahraptor eggs had been uncovered in stellar condition. A few had been cracked and tarnished by millions of years worth of sediment but, overall, it was an ideal discovery worthy of academically supported display. As much as Alan enjoyed taunting Billy for his sub-par professional personality, the boy had done an exceptional job leading the dig.

After enjoying a second cup of coffee each, the subject shifted from work to personal dealings. He inquired about your upcoming trip home to visit family and told you about his plans to spend a few weeks in Colorado to work on his next book. Bit by bit, he was continuing to build upon your relationship by letting you venture deeper into the jungles of his heart.

“What are you doing tonight?”

The question caught you completely by surprise. There wasn’t any real sexual implication behind it but it shocked you nonetheless simply because he was so explicitly looking to spend time with you.

“Nothing really,” you replied, “I’m ahead on upcoming schedules and fundraiser planning so my evenings are pretty free.”

“Good. I’m happy to hear it. I, uh—“ He cleared his throat, shifting nervously in his seat. “I was planning on driving up the mountain to watch the meteor showers tonight if you want to join me. The skies are supposed to be very clear and the weather’s been quite mild so I thought maybe we could take the truck and put some blankets in the bed to lay on. Nothing too extravagant just—“

“I’d love to.”

He perked up. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Perfect,” he sighed in relief, “That’s…Great. I’ll, um…Is five alright? To leave, I mean.”

“Five works for me.”

A boyish smile curled at his lips. “Five it is.”

***

The sun had just set beyond the horizon when the truck finally parked on a cliffside overlooking the drylands where your team was camped out for the next few weeks. Not a cloud obscured your view of the beautiful sky. Pastel pinks and oranges blended with baby blues and lush violets as the afternoon gave way to the night.

It only took a few minutes to set up your little star-gazing nest in the bed of the truck. Pillows and blankets were placed neatly on top of a thick quilt. A cooler of drinks and snacks sat at the head of your open-air hovel with an old lantern sitting on its lid to provide a soft light source other than the moon and stars. It was a humble but wholesome set up.

By the time you were finished, the last bit of daylight was starting to fade from the sky. You both climbed up the hitch to settle amongst to blankets. You laid down first; he followed shortly after, leaving a small gap between you out of courtesy. Even still you felt yourself warmed by the proximity of his body.

The showers began not long after darkness took control of the horizon. Little balls of light gleamed and danced across the sky like celestial teardrops. You watched them with childish glee, pointing skyward every time you saw a particularly beautiful ribbon of glittering luminescence. He would laugh softly and occasionally direct your attention to certain constellations or planets.

Like magnets slowly being pulled toward one another, your bodies inched closer and closer until your shoulders were pressed together and the back of your hand was brushing his forearm. The more time passed, the more you became aware of his wandering gaze. He was spending just as much time looking at you as he was looking at the stars. There was an aura of fascination surrounding him, as if watching you were as satisfying as any vision the constellations could conjure.

As odd as it was to have someone stare at you like that, you didn’t feel uncomfortable by any means. In fact, it made you feel wonderful. It made you feel wanted and made you realize that he was seeing you in ways that maybe he didn’t even expect or understand.

Turning your head to the side just enough to meet his gaze, you brushed the back of your fingers along the smooth skin just below his wrist. His eyebrows twitched upward slightly at the contact and his eyes scanned your face in search of answers to a question only he could hear. A soft breath ghosted past his lips.

Moving cautiously, he hooked his arm beneath yours and tangled both of your hands together. His fingers melded between yours while his thumb experimentally stroked your skin. A small fire sparked to life in your chest, warming every inch of your body. Holding hands was such a simple act of affection but coming from Alan Grant, it spoke louder and more poetically than any love song ever written.

“I thought we came all this way to watch the meteor shower not have you stare at me.”

He blushed at the comment, his throat clearing roughly before he replied, “Sorry. I’m not trying to be rude. I just…The way your eyes reflect the stars…They’re beautiful. You’re beautiful. It’s very hard to look away.”

Your heart leaped in your chest. It was the first time he’d ever really talked about you like that. Over the past few months, he’d occasionally make comments praising your outfit or pointing out your new haircut but he never made a direct remark about your looks. Never before had he called you beautiful.

“I hope I’m not being too forward,” he hurriedly added, “If I’m making you uncomfortable or involuntarily pressuring you into something you don’t want, please tell me. It’s been a long time and I’m not very good at this kind of stuff as it is so don’t be afraid to—“

You cut him off. “Alan, relax. You’re not being rude or making me uncomfortable, I promise.”

“Okay good. The last thing I want is to push you away before I’ve even gotten the chance to get close to you.”

“Can I ask you something? And I need you to be completely honest with me. Sugar-coating the answer is only going to make things complicated.”

“Of course.”

“Do you want to go out with me?”

“Are you asking if I’m interested in dating?”

“Yeah, I am. Because if you are, I want to continue whatever this is,” you said as you nodded toward your intertwined hands, “But if you’re just looking for something physical, I don’t think this is going to work...”

“God, no, I could never do something like that. Especially not with you. You’re too important.”

He sighed, taking a moment to study your face as he tried to shuffle through his thoughts.

“I want to be with you any way I can,” he continued, “If that translates to dating in whatever guide to modern romance people subscribe to these days, then yes, I want that.”

You smiled and squeezed his hand. “Then we’re on the same page.”

“Can I ask you something in return?”

“Absolutely.”

“It’s going to sound silly and I’m begging you not to taunt me when I pose the question, but I have to ask it before I do something stupid.”

“What is it?”

“Is it too soon to kiss you?” He asked shyly, “I don’t want to rush this or make you feel like that’s all I’m after but I just…I can’t stop thinking about what your lips would feel like against mine.”

The innocence of the question made it very difficult to get lost in the excitement that came with knowing what he wanted. It was a genuine inquiry, one that reminded you just how old fashioned he was. He gave you complete control, granting you the ability to set the pace and establish boundaries so that he could keep himself in check. Clearly it had been a very long time since he’d last pursued someone like this.

“No, it’s not to soon. I’d actually like to. Hell, I’d love to kiss you.”

His eyes flicked down to your lips. Then, with the hesitation of a high schooler going in for their very first kiss, he leaned over to ghost his mouth over yours. You kissed back. It was a slow dance of lips and tongue, one driven by child-like curiosity and immeasurable tenderness. Neither of you wanted to push too far or ask for something that the other wasn’t ready to give. Instead, you allowed yourself to completely soak yourself in his affection.

The stars overhead were practically forgotten. You didn’t care about the meteor showers or the constellations that hovered in the sky. All you wanted to see and feel and taste was Alan. With his hand wrapped around yours and his mouth capturing your lips in the gentlest of kisses, it was easy to say that it was one of, if not the most, romantic encounter of your life.

“That meet your expectations?” You murmured quietly when he finally pulled back.

“Exceeded them, actually.”

“Dammit, now I’m gonna feel like every kiss from now on is just gonna be a let down in comparison.”

“I don’t think it’s possible for any kiss to be a let down if it’s from you.”

“Y’know, for someone who really doesn’t like spending time with other people, you are shockingly romantic. I’m impressed.”

He let out a soft huff of laughter. “Spend years focusing on your career instead of pursuing lackluster relationships and you’ll turn yourself into a bargain bin romance novelist too.”

“Bargain bin? Sorry, but I’d happily pay full price for a kiss like that.”

“Just consider how lucky you are to have it for free,” he replied with a cheeky grin.

“I thought you didn’t believe in luck.”

“I don’t. But maybe there’s something else at play. I hate for the thought to even cross my mind but chaos theory does help connect dots otherwise left untouched…Jokes aside, please don’t ever tell Ian Malcolm I said that or it’ll go right to his head. It’s already big enough.”

“And make him think you actually like him enough to reminisce about his leather-bound ass?” You said playfully, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Another hour passed before exhaustion came to sink its teeth into both of you. Even when it became clear that sleep was just on the other side of the curtain, neither of you had any intention of separating. Instead, you grew closer. Your head came to rest upon his shoulder and your arm draped over his torso. A blanket was pulled over your bodies to shield you from the gentle evening breeze.

Under milky moonlight and dancing stars, Alan Grant slept peacefully. No nightmares plagued him, no terrifying memories clawed at his mind. With you in his arms, he was safe and sound. With you in his life, he was happy.

#I love this man so much #He really is my comfort character #I'd do anything to keep him safe #Alan Grant X Reader #Alan Grant X GN!Reader #Alan Grant Reader Insert #Alan Grant Imagines #Jurassic Park Imagines #Reader Insert #My fic #Jurassic Park Fanfiction

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seriouslysnape · 3 years

Note

Hi, love! Could I request something with Snape and a female reader? They dating but lately, Snape is busy with work and the reader doesn't want to disturb him or tell him she needs attention because she's quite shy and doesn't want to be a burden. But when she finally gathered the courage to tell him, he's quite surprised she missed his affection so much. Smut or just fluff whatever you feel like writing will be nice! Don't feel pressure to write it if you don't like that idea. Thank you and have a great day! (PS: I miss Alan Rickman so much T^T such an amazing actor! Ps2: Because of you I started to be a Lupin girl like whaaat he so sweet, I love how you are writing him!) 🖤💚

This is SO sweet. Like SO SWEET. And also, I was the same way! I didn’t start REALLY liking Lupin until I started reading Lupin stuff!

Time for You

Severus Snape x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Smut, Oral sex.

Word Count: 1,891

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

Communication is always a crucial step in maintaining a healthy, successful relationship. You knew that making your needs, wants, concerns, etc. verbally known was very important.

You were bored. Plain and simple, you were completely stricken with absolutely nothing to do while Severus remained holed away in his office. You would think that a school instructor would take the summers off, but Severus had a plan to change his usual class curriculum, so he had been working around the clock to create a brand new Potions class.

He had been staying busy for the first few weeks of summer, working several hours a day in his home office. Severus was always very in the zone when he worked. He tuned mostly everything out, only taking a break when he couldn’t stay awake or needed to eat or use the restroom. It was a monotonous cycle that had made your home life boring, and had taken a toll on your summer vacation.

He didn’t realize that he had been rather distant, and that he hadn’t shown you much attention at all. It didn’t help that you were too timid to actually speak up and say anything to him. You had always had a hard time expressing your wants and needs to Severus. You never wanted to come off too clingy or too pushy. You hated to ever interrupt him while he worked, so for the most part, you had stayed quiet. You didn’t want to get on his nerves or upset him.

Although, you could probably count the times he’s actually been upset with you on one hand.

You were growing more and more needy for him with each passing day. You missed his touch, his voice, and his hands on you. You just wanted him to pay attention to you, just for a little while.

You paced outside of his office, trying to encourage yourself to go talk to him. He was your boyfriend after all, and effective communication was important. Severus always expressed to you how he wanted you to tell him if you needed something. He wanted you to be happy and content, but if there was something that was making you unhappy, you had to be the one to tell him.

You took a deep breath, building up the courage to go talk to him. If nothing else, maybe you could steal a quick make out session.

You slowly pushed the door open to reveal Severus scribbling away on some parchment at his desk. He had stacks of lesson plans for the upcoming school year and a list of new materials that students would need. He had been going hard at this for a while. You just wished he’d take a break. You peeked your head in.

“Severus?” You called out to him.

His head didn’t turn to you. His body language gave no indication that he had heard you at all. You fully entered the room, closing the door gently behind you. You approached him from behind, gingerly resting your hands on his shoulders. His entire frame relaxed at the feel of such a soothing touch. He sighed lightly.

“Hello, darling.” He greeted, pausing his writing for a moment.

You rubbed his shoulders, drawing soft groans from him.

“How’s it going in here?” You asked.

“Quite well actually. I’m happy with the progress I’ve made.” He replied.

You pressed a kiss to the top of his head, his black hair was soft on your lips. Your hands moved from his shoulders so you could run your fingers through his charcoal colored locks. You massaged at his scalp as he continued to work, talking to him sweetly.

“It’s a beautiful day outside. It’s warm and the sky is clear.” You pointed out to him.

His eyes shifted from his desk to the window. He hadn’t even taken a moment to look at the perfect summer weather. It had been an unusually pretty summer, and you hated that Severus was spending it cooped up in his dark office. The two of you should be having a picnic under your favorite oak tree, or even feeding ducks by the lake. He was missing out on such a flawless summer. That only prompted you further to get him away from his loads of work and actually enjoy his time off.

“Oh, it sure is,” He announced; “You should get out of the house for a bit. Take a walk through the park, yes?” He suggested.

You took a breath.

“I want you to come with me, love.” You requested, pulling his hair carefully behind his ears.

A sigh resonated from his chest. He’d love nothing more than to break away from his desk that he had shackled himself to and soak up the outside freshness with you, but he had convinced himself that he simply had too much to do.

“I need to work. I’ll never be ready by September if I fail to keep working.” He said, still writing with his favorite quill that you had given him as a birthday gift.

He didn’t seem to notice that you were hinting at something. Over the years, he had learned how to gauge your behaviors and your moods to notice when you wanted something, but he still encouraged you to tell him yourself. Now though, he was so occupied that he didn’t notice at all. You felt a twinge of annoyance that he wasn’t taking you more seriously, which is what caused you to blurt out rather sternly.

“Severus, please.” You begged.

Your breath caught in your throat the moment the words left your mouth and Severus’ quill stopped scratching. You had surely gotten his attention, because you were never one to snarl at him like that. He set his quill down completely, turning in his chair to look back at you. You were stunned still, surprised at yourself for having such an involuntary reaction.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” You apologized, giving in to the urge to leave him to keep working.

You went to walk away, feeling as though you had totally crossed a line. This was always the sort of thing you tried to avoid; getting upset and possibly causing an argument. You weren’t the best when it came to confrontation, so you tried your best to maneuver around it. Before you could make any real progress to leave the room, a hand caught your wrist.

“Wait. Don’t go,” He pleaded, standing from his desk; “What’s the matter, [Y/N]?”

He knew now that you were trying to tell him something, but he wanted to see if he could get you to tell him without him having to figure it out himself. He saw the way your eyes shifted to your feet. He didn’t want you to shut down on him when he knew you wanted something.

“Please, tell me.” He added, bringing your head back so you’d look at him.

You bit your lip hesitantly. You didn’t want to seem like you were nagging him or overly pushy. But that didn’t make the fact that you were craving for his affection any less true.

“I miss you.” You finally confessed.

Severus’ expression softened even more than it was already. He could hear the desperation and longing in your voice. You were feeling neglected, and he felt guilty for not making you feel appreciated. He did appreciate you in all aspects. He adored you and he loved you. It wasn’t fair that you were feeling this way.

He was rather astonished that you had missed him enough to speak up in such a way. That’s how he knew that you were really missing him.

“Oh, my dear. Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” He questioned, caressing your smooth cheek,

You gave a simple shrug.

“I didn’t want to bother you.” You explained.

“You never bother me. I always want you to feel comfortable talking to me.” He invigorated.

You nodded into his hand, an internal cheer of victory playing in your head when he lowered his head to kiss you. His lips caught yours in a sensual way, making up for all the lost kisses from the last several weeks. You were stealing kisses from him left and right, making his heart flutter with desire. Before you knew it, you were greedily making out and he had swept you away through the house to your bedroom.

You fell onto your back onto the mattress as he continued to kiss you deeply and roughly. The noises flowing from your chest were nothing less than eager and craving. You reached for his belt, the clinking noise of it releasing was enough to get you totally excited. He pushed your hand away, a ravishing chuckle rumbling from his chest as he briefly stopped kissing you.

“This is all about you, darling.” He growled.

His lips detached from your skin, his body shimmying downwards, his face just inches away from your heated sex. He draped your legs over his shoulders as his tongue wasted no time licking a heavy stripe and your hearty whimper filled the room. He sucked and kissed as one of your hands was steady on his head to prohibit him from going too far, while the other was pressed against the headboard behind your. It felt like electricity was crackling all through your body as he mercilessly pleasured your.

“Oh, fuck...you’ve got quite the mouth, Professor.” You tried to laugh, but it came out as another moan.

Obviously this wasn't the first time you had ever been in this situation with him. But it still surprised you every time.

His chuckle vibrated against you, his voice muffled slightly;

“You better believe it.”

He knew your body backwards and forwards, which is why he put his arm over your waist to keep you from squirming too much. He smirked as he felt your muscles contract against his hold. It was a damn hot sight to see. His face buried between your legs, his tongue and lips working wonders on the woman he adored so much. Normally, he’d hold off on letting you cum. He’d slow his movements to tantalize you and make you beg. But you deserved what you wanted after these weeks.

“Severus, please...” You said feeling your legs begin to shake as his movements didn’t slow.

“I’ve got you, baby.” He spoke.

Your head fell back onto the pillow as a flash of white covered your vision. Your legs tightened on his shoulders as you crashed over your high. He continued to suck your and work you through it. He licked and swallowed your cum and lapped up your release. His name fell from your lips once more as you felt yourself settling back to normal. He grinned once your breathing attempted to slow, he returned to your side. You supposed that you owed him now, but that’d come later. He kissed you less harshly than before, you could taste yourself on his tongue.

“I love you.” You breathed out, sucking on his neck.

“I love you too.” He returned.

He hummed as you left a few hickeys on his neck. His lips finding yours soon after. He was making it a goal to stay as close to you as possible for the rest of the summer.

Potions class could definitely wait.

#severus snape #severus snape x reader #severus #severus snape x y/n #severus snape x you #professor snape #professor snape x you #professor snape x reader #alan rickman #Harry Potter #harry potter snape #snape smut #severus snape smut #severus snape x female reader

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just-dreaming-marvel · 3 years

Text

Flinch

MAIN MASTERLIST

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2,225ish

Summary: You are hiding an abusive relationship from the team.

Warning: abusive relationship (not explicit)

You weren’t an Avenger, but you did work at the Avengers Compound in Upstate New York. You were one of the doctors there. To be honest, you were the Team’s favorite doctor. And that meant that you often spent many late nights at the compound instead of going home to your boyfriend. You treated their training and mission injuries, and even their lab and roughhousing injuries. One time, Tony had even called you to his lab because of a paper cut.

You quickly formed a tight bond with the whole team. Especially those who frequented the med-bay. Bucky, Sam, and Steve were the most reckless of the team, everyone knew that. You more than anyone. And it wasn’t long before the four of you were almost inseparable. Almost, meaning when they weren’t on missions and you weren’t with your boyfriend.

You and your boyfriend, Alan, had been together for four years. Living together for three. He was there cheering you on when you graduated and there to celebrate when you got a job with the Avengers. He was so happy for you. But that was almost a year and a half ago now, and things have changed. As you began to spend more and more time over at the compound, he became needier and needier, slowly turning manipulative and aggressive towards you.

He started beating you six months ago, after he watched Bucky bring you home from drinks with the team. Alan was furious, immediately thinking you were cheating on him with Bucky. You woke up naked in bed, alone. Bruises and marks littered your body. You stayed curled up in bed, not caring about being late to work, until Alan had gone to work himself.

Thankfully, you were a doctor. You patched yourself up, covered up the bruises and marks, and then went to work. At first, you were good at hiding it. But slowly, as the abuse continued, it started to wear you down. The light around you was slowly dimming, and the Team was noticing. Especially Bucky.

Bucky had been physically attracted to you ever since he met you. And the more he got to know you, the more he fell in love with every part of you. He know you were in a relationship, so he made sure he never crossed the line of best friend. Bucky had met your boyfriend a few times, never liking him once. There was just something about him.

Bucky was the first to notice you wearing more long sleeves than usual. He also noticed that you started wearing more makeup than usual and had started avoiding any form of physical touch. He was too scared to mention anything to you first, so he brought it up with the team. Turned out, he wasn’t the only one to notice the shift. They were all pretty sure it was your boyfriend. But when asked about your relationship, you always said good things.

It was a late night, and you were staying at the compound. Mostly because it was your turn to be on call, but also to avoid going home to Alan. You couldn’t sleep, too scared of what your dreams might show. So you were in the common room, sipping a drink while you were curled up in the couch. And that’s where Bucky found you when he came out for a drink.

“Why are you up?” Bucky asked. You jumped, actually scared. “I’m sorry, I should have made myself known.”

“No, it’s okay, Buck,” you responded, clearly still trying to calm yourself. “I just couldn’t sleep. You?”

“Same.” He plopped down at the other end of the couch. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Nothing to talk about.” You gave him a small smile.

“Hm… okay. Wanna watch something?”

“Actually, I think I’m going to head to bed.” You started to head away. “Goodnight—“

“Wait, Y/N.” Bucky’s metal hand reached out to stop you. The swift moment made you flinch away from his touch. Bucky was confused. “Y/N… did you just flinch?” When he met your gaze, your eyes were wide and terrified. He could practically hear your heart beating out of your chest. Slowly, he stood up, hands up to show no harm. “Maybe we should sit down and talk about what’s going on.”

“I… I can’t.”

You shook your head, rushing away. Bucky quickly stepped in front of you, causing you to start to tremble and step back. Seeing you so frightened, made Bucky’s heart break. He didn’t know the truth, but he had a good guess at who had caused this.

“Y/N, please just tell me what’s going on. The whole team as noticed something. We would like to help.”

“You can’t,” you rasped. Your shoulders were hunched in like you were trying to curling in on yourself. You were now refusing to look at Bucky, taking a few steps back. “Besides, it’s none of your business.”

“It is if someone’s hurting you… if he’s hurting you. Please Y/N.” He started moving slowly forward. “Just let me help you.”

You moved back again. “Bucky, please just drop it. I’m fine.”

He continued forward. “I’m not going to let this go until I find out the truth. I need to know if Alan is hurting you, Y/N. I’ll get the team on it and you know we’ll find out no matter what.”

Your eyes were slowly filling with tears as you continued to step backwards. Eventually you were stopped by the wall. Bucky continued until he was just inches away from you. It was killing him to see you pressed up against the wall, trying to get away from him.

“Please, doll,” Bucky whispered. “What is he doing to you?”

You let out a whimper before sliding down the wall. “I’m so sorry,” you cried. “I’m… I’m so sorry.”

Bucky quickly knelt in front of you. “What are you sorry about, doll?”

“That I didn’t tell anyone. That I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry that I let him do this to me.”

“Woah, hey now. You did not let him do anything. Whatever he did to you was not your fault. None of it.” He reached out and gently took a hold of your hand, as he did your sleeve rode up a little. Giving him a glimpse of a bruise. “Y/N, I’m taking you down to the med-bay.”

“No! Please! I don’t want any of my colleagues to know.”

“You need to be treated.”

“I’ve been treating myself.”

“You still need to be checked out.”

“Take me to Tony’s lab… I’ll let Bruce check me over… I don’t know want all of them staring at me.”

Bucky nodded. “Okay.”

He led you to the lab, where he helped you get comfortable before going to get Steve, Bruce, Natasha, and Tony. What he didn’t realize was leaving you there alone would be a terrible idea. The second you knew the coast was clear, you left the lab and ran to your car. You couldn’t face your friends, knowing what had happened to you. What you believed you had let happened to you. You needed to get home before they found you or Alan got more mad than he was already, since he had been texting you and leaving voicemails all night.

Bucky explained the situation on their way back to the lab, the others getting angrier and angrier with eat step. They were furious at Alan but also angry at themselves for not stepping in sooner. All walking into the lab, they looked around.

“Where is she?” Steve asked.

“Dr. Y/N as left,” FRIDAY announced.

“She was embarrassed,” Natasha responded. “She was embarrassed that we would all know. So she… oh, no.”

“Oh, no, what Red?” Tony questioned.

“She went home.”

“What?!” A few of them exclaimed.

“How could see just go home?” Bucky asked.

“Those who are being abused often are told that no one else will understand, and they begin to believe it,” Bruce replied. “This is why many people take years to get out of an abusive relationship.”

“We need to go get her before anything else happens.”

~~~

Getting beaten at home was not where you wanted to be. But, to your confused and broken down mind, it was better than telling everyone and being embarrassed. Alan was furious when you got home, to no surprise. He immediately began yelling and taking it out on you. And you let him. Because you deserved it.

You were bleeding and broken, laid out on the couch, when the door was blasted off its hinges. Alan turned around as you heard the familiar sounds of the Iron Man suit and feet enter the room.

“What the hell are you all doing in my house?!” Alan yelled. “You have no right—“ He was cut off my a metal hand to his jaw. He fell to the floor cupping his jaw.

“No. It’s you who have no right to treat anyone in this way,” Bucky growled.

Steve and Tony grabbed Alan as Bucky turned his attention on you. You were shaking on the couch, tears cascading down your face. He could see old and new bruises as well as scrapes and cuts littered along the skin he could see. He quickly came to your side. You flinched as his arms went under you and he lifted you, but you didn’t fight it. He pressed a kiss to your hair as he carried you out to the van that they’d brought.

The police were pulling up when you got outside. They let Bucky set you down before getting a statement. Trembling and gripping tightly to Bucky’s hand, you told the police about everything Alan had done to you. Bucky had to try so hard to not growl or march back in and kill Alan. He knew he needed to stay calm and levelheaded for you.

After the police had asked all their questions and taken Alan into custody, they took you back to the compound for a check up. You were still shaking slightly as Bucky laid you down on a bed in a private med-bay room. Bruce and the nurses were getting everything ready for tests and exams that would need to be done. Bucky went to wait out in the hall when you reached out and clutched onto his arm, digging your finger nails into the flesh.

“Don’t—“ you croaked. “Don’t leave. Please.”

“Never, doll.” He leaned down and kissed your forehead. “I’ll be right here.”

~~~

“She has a few broken ribs, most from previous incidents that she never got treated,” Bruce stated. The team was all outside your med-bay room, getting all the information from Bruce as you slept inside with Bucky watching over you. “We’ve cleaned and bandaged any cuts as well as put some ointment on her to help the bruises.”

“Has she said anything?” Sam asked, worried.

Bruce shook his head. “Not since asking Bucky to stay. But that’s okay and expected. We all need to be patient with her as it will take time for her to heal.”

“I’ve already got her off of work for at least a month,” Tony said. “The movers are on their way with her things and her room here is being cleaned as we speak. She’s family, so she’s welcome to stay as long as she wants.”

“How’s Bucky doing?” Natasha asked.

“He won’t leave her side,” Steve answered. “I’ve brought him food and clothes, but he’s so worried about her.” Steve sighed. “I hope he doesn’t take this all and blame himself for it.”

“Oh, he will,” Tony replied. “I already have, so I know he will.”

“We couldn’t have stopped this,” Sam said.

“But we could have said something sooner. We all noticed she was off. We could have done something about it sooner.”

“We need to focus on Y/N,” Bruce said. “Not our guilt. I’ll keep you updating if anything else happens, but for now we need to let her rest and you all need to stop waiting out here.”

~~~

“Bucky…” you whispered as the man slept in the chair beside you. “Bucky.”

He snapped up, on alert. “What? What is it? Are you okay?”

You let out a small giggle. “You just looked uncomfortable. Why don’t you go to your room to get some rest? I think I’ll be fine.”

“First,” Bucky leaved forward, “that wasn’t convincing at all. Second, you asked me to stay, so I’m staying.”

“Why?” You croaked, tears welling up.

“Because, doll, I care about you, a great deal. And I don’t like seeing you hurt. So I’m going to be by your side every step of the way and do whatever I can to help you heal.”

“I don’t deserve it.”

“I’m sorry to break it to you, doll, but if anyone doesn’t deserve kindness, it’s me.” He gently grabbed your hand, bringing it up for a kiss. “You deserve the world, Y/N. And I’m going to try and give it to you when you’re ready. Only when you’re ready though. I don’t care how long it takes as long as you’re doing better.”

“I don’t know where to start.”

“And that’s okay. You decide where to start and the pace, and I’ll follow.”

“Thank you, Bucky, for saving me.”

“Anytime, doll.”

#bucky barnes x reader #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes imagine #marvel imagine #marvel imagines

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