#but he is not their fucking mommy

[hugsandnoregrets]

seeing people insist that Steve is the best ‘mom’ or ‘brother’ in the show despite Joyce literally going into a demonic hell world and fighting a shady secret government testing entity for her child and Jonathan being parentified for half a decade and being his brother’s main support and secondary caretaker

#the man is a fucking babysitter #and a friend #he’s an excellent friend #and an excellent babysitter #and he genuinely loves the kids #he is a good person #but he is not their fucking mommy #and he is doing this as an unrelated person #i absolutely love Steve #but Jesus #Joyce and Jonathan are amazing #Joyce Byers #Jonathan Byers #will Byers #this is a byers stan account

[aboveweirdest]

Watching tristamp: oh vash has mommy issues

Watching trigun 98: oh vash has MOMMY ISSUES

Reading Trimax: Actually Vash went through an extremely traumatising event at a young age and had to face the realities of humans. Rem was there, as the twins' mother figure, to represent the good. Reconciling humanity's differences is what made him how he is, and he projects that onto Rem. In this essay I will-

#trigun #vash the stampede #wolfwood #vash #trigun stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #trigun maximum #trimax #tristamp #trigun 98 #tri98 #i guess it still kinda counts as mommy issues if he projects #i just don't think any other media does this background justice #is so much more complicated than “Well Rem said-” #he's not human but he is a person #it's HARD to keep going after lossing faith in humanity #it's HARD to see what he did and forgive them #and goddammit it's HARD to forgive them again and again and again #and stay POSITIVE (outwardly) the whole time #sorry for this novel in the tags #trigun spoiler #trimax spoiler #i just fucking love him #okay????

[murk888]

Aro 👉👈

I DIDN'T HAVE MY TWILIGHT STAGE IN TIME, OKAY?!? Now I watch the films while dying from laughter most of the time, their faces I can't-

MICHAEL SHEEN >>>>> 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

#i liked frollo and snape what did i/you expect.. #GUYS. GUYS. HEAR ME OUT- #sketch #art #digital art #artists on tumblr #twilight #twilight saga #volturi #aro volturi #michael sheen #one word about me having father issues and i will fucking kill everyone in the room and then myself #jk i know i have them☠️ #mommy issues too #bruh #sorry spamton lovers #its human time #or vampire time? #кровосися короче #hahahaaa i will suck your di- blood i mean blood #drawing characters who are extremely rarely liked #again #it happens every time i swear #spamton is the exception #he's popular and liked by lots of people fr #true big shot indeed #no but real Aro is nuts tbh #everyone who I like is!☠️ so I just change their characters to my own liking (and suddenly everyone becomes psychologically healthy hmmm) #be cringe be free #have a nice day everyone

[kerryweaverlesbian]

Dean Winchester of Supernatural fame is NOT reading parenting books he is putting on Cheaper By The Dozen, Daddy Daycare and Honey I Shrunk The Kids taking notes.

#i woulda said full house but dean's more a movie guy than a tv guy #it doesn't help. btw. lol. #if dean read a gentle parenting guide he would scoff and roll his eyes and throw it across the room #and eventually start silently weeping if he was convinced to keep going bc HE was a kid and HE didn't get treated with respect or gentlenes #dean in an argument with those mommy bloggers he follows saying something like 'please. i was left in a motel room with my brother #from like age 7 upwards I think little Timmy will be okay in the car by himself for 3 minutes 🙄“ #and someone hits him with 'I'm so sorry that happened to you' and he tries to brush it off all day and complain about it to Sam #and Sam's like. yeah it was kinda fucked up though. and Dean's like WELL I KNOW THAT BUT HE WAS DOING HIS BEST #(not fully believing it bc he certainly can't picture leaving a 7 year old alone in the world they live in no matter what) #(and Dean's never fully actually agreed with their dad but he feels attacked by Sam's agreeing) #(but old habits run deep) #cawis creates

[luvrxbunny]

it is the most embarrassing, and humbling experience to search for smut for a certain character… only to find that no one else is horny for them.. like damn.. i’m weird, huh?

#hopefully this is relatable #omg how embarrassing would it be if this actually doesn’t happen to people 😭 #in this instance i’m talking about.. #sterling archer #😭 #IF YOU DONT KNOW HIM #DO NOT GOOGLE HIM #I FEAR JUDGEMENT #but yeah he’s so #and he has such obvious mommy issues like #i could fix you baby #i could make you feel better #like i swear to god #all he needs is some praise and a good fucking #BUT APPARENTLY IM THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT #archer fx #archer tv show

[bbydollx36x]

How my night started..

And how it ended💕

#me #he fucked off my corpse paint😭 #personal #girls with tattoos #altgirl #goth gf #goth girl #inked girls #goth clowns only #goth clown girls #goth clown #corpse paint #clown makeup #pretty people #face fvcking #egirl #mommy

[mas-que-loucura-menina]

Barbara: Okay guys, I need your full legal name for the for these files.

Tim: Timothy Jackson drake Wayne

Dick: Richard John Grayson Wayne

Damian: Damian Al ghul wayne

Jason: Jason Peter Todd Knight Haywood Al Ghul of Endless Wayne.

Barbara, Tim, Damian, Dick: 👁️👄👁️

Jason: what?

#Jason and his mommy issues #plus he is Canonically super adoptable #Also Death of Endless is part of DC universe so of fucking course she would adopt himas his little dead birdie #try to change my mind about this #jason todd #red hood #batman #dc #batfam #he's a total momma's boy

[joestarfoundation]

dom female reader headcanons + imagine

your babyboy wakes up every morning, eager to please you. you are his everything, his entire world revolves around you<3 he loves the feeling of submission and the thought of you being in control. It's not just a kink for him, it's a lifestyle

you can see the excitement in his puppy eyes when you enter the room, dressed in your favorite leather outfit. he knows what's coming next, and he can't wait. as you walk towards him, he kneels down in front of you, ready to serve and devour your delicious cunt<3

he loves when you use him for your pleasure. whether it's making him worship your body or using him as a human furniture, he is more than happy to fulfill your desires. he finds joy in knowing that you are satisfied and that he has pleased you<3

one of his favorite things is when you take him shopping for new lingerie. he loves the feeling of you picking out what he will wear, knowing that it's not just for show, but for your pleasure! he takes great pride in wearing what you have chosen for him, and it makes him feel even more submissive:((

he also loves when you take him out in public, holding his leash and showing everyone who is in charge. he loves the feeling of being owned by you, his goddess, and being on display for everyone to see. it makes him feel special and wanted

tell him he's your good little slut and feminize him, although he doesn't accept it, he has fantasized more than once about you dressing him up in pretty, girly outfits. he knows that you would take such good care of him and make him feel beautiful and desired, much more than he already is<3

slap him, peg him, degrade him, ride him, praise him... practically use him

you hummed as you looked for some strap that could break the little naughty whore you had behind you, he had been very whimsy all this time that you were gone

he even touched himself without your permission, you found him in the room you both shared, humping his hand while making a moaning noise like a bitch and he seemed to have forgotten you were right there

"oh my god what did i do, im so sorry mommy..." he sobbed when you heard his voice from inside of the closet

"what is this my babyboy?" you asked while staring at him

he blushed heavily but still tried to find the words, "i uhm... im sorry about earlier, i was really confused and all, it won't happen again i promise-"

"didnt we agreed that if i caught you doing something like this again you would be punished?"

he tried hard to say anything but you didn't give him any chance "well baby, i'm not gonna forgive this..."

he stared at you in fear and he slowly took off your skirt, "so what are you gonna do now?" he asked with big, childish eyes

"do you wanna know what's gonna happen now?" you ask with an evil smile on your face

he nodded nervously while looking down, he didnt understand why you had come here to punish him, all he did was touching himself!:((

"bad boys deserve to be punished and take up in the ass mommy's huge cock"

now, at this moment you had a big dildo tied to your waist, probably one of the biggest ones you had used with him. you tried to close your legs a little and press the base of the fake cock against your crotch to get some stimulation, you imagined that this time it would be like the other times, him lying on his back, with his legs open, your dildo in his ass, and your hands jerking off his neglected cock<33

he loved being dominated by you after all, no woman ever made him feel more wanted and horny than you :3

but now, you couldn't imagine it anymore. he stood there completely naked and scared:(

"baby, just let me put this thing in your butt and i'll leave you alone, it wont hurt much, i promise..."

he shook his head. completely scared and helpless:(((

"just trust me baby... you want mommy to fuck you, don't you?"

the question had been rhetorical, but you knew exactly what he wanted. he stared at you with those huge eyes, shivering from fear and need, "yes please mommy, i-i need you to please me.."

"good boy<33" you whispered and moved closer to him. "close your eyes and wait for mommy to fuck your sweet asshole :3"

he followed your orders like a good boy and he closed his eyes waiting for you to get ready to slide your fake cock into his ass<3

"mhmmm-m-mommy" his cute moans, echoing in the silence of the night, helped you to relax a bit before going through with it

"ready baby?" you asked as you pushed more of the toy towards his hole and started sliding it slowly inside of him

"uhhuh-hhuh-mm-mmm" he answered in a whisper as you continued to slide your big plastic dick in and out of his ass, occasionally stopping to put pressure on the tip of the cock

"your mommy loves how tight you are babyboy~ fuck- could you call me by my name sweetheart?" you asked while pushing the dildo deeper inside of him

"mhmm hmmm- y/n!! y/n baby<3" he moaned in excitement, he was trying his best to make his tiny asshole take more of the giant dildo inside of it, but he was struggling. his cute face was red from embarrassment and lust, you could tell he was really enjoying every second of it though<33

"oh my god mo...mommyyy!! i cant hold it, its coming!" he cried out loudly

the combination of his cries and you slowly moving the dildo in and out of his ass filled the room with soft moaning sounds <33

you finally stopped the slow motion movements and decided to speed up a little bit, slowly slid the big strap inside of him, each inch pushing further inside of him, deeper and deeper until it pressed against his prostate, stimulating him with gentle vibrations until he reached another orgasm:(((

he collapsed onto the floor, breathing heavily while you removed the strap from his ass. you smiled down at him and knelt down to pet his hair, smiling widely at the sight of your babyboy getting pleasure from such things

a minute later he turned around and hugged you tightly, "thanks mommy... i love you so much <3" he said in between kisses on your cheek you smiled, "of course you do baby, i love you too <3" you replied and kissed him passionately on the lips

then, with nothing else left to do you both fell asleep wrapped up in each others arms:)

#mommy k!nk #md/lb #domme mommy #domme reader #dom reader #dom fem reader #sub men #x reader #headcanon #imagine #mommy dom little boy #femdxm #male sub #subby boys #soft fem dom #gentle fdom #fdom #boy sub #subby men #dom mommy #sub puppy #he gets pegged #men gets pegged #reader insert #reader interactive #oc x reader #your character here #imagine your f/o #imagine your favorite character #fuck tumblr

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

u call gojo princess exactly one time as a joke and he lets out a giggle he didn’t know his vocal cords were capable of producing

#call him ur pretty little princess and watch him turn away with a sheepish laugh bc he’s trying to hide his growing blush <33 #i think he’s weak for femcoded petnames actually ……… i know and perceive the Truth #one sultry ”good girl” and he fucking explodes <333 it’s unfortunate but he died happy. #sugu also enjoys being called ur pretty princess but mostly bc u giggle when u say it and he thinks it’s sweet <3 #he’s all like. ”oh? am i?” w a little grin and a tilt of his head…. and suddenly he’s the one getting u all flustered………….. #sigh. he’s awful actually 😞😞 #(i firmly believe one ”mommy” from u would change something deep inside his brain though) #ari noises ✩

[sluckythewizard]

THEY could give me the surgurey i need (inspired alot by evojellys designs for em. GREAT STUFF)

#THE SUCKENING IS S O COOOOL GUYS VIV N VEX ARE SO FUCKING COOL AND FUNNY... CHARLIES FLAVOR OF DERANGED IS JUST #SO PERFECT FOR THIS CAMPAIGN.. I LOVE HOW HE DOES HORROR AND EVIL AND SCARY AND AAUAUUUGHGHGUUHGHG #their teeht arnt spiked like normal vampires but theyre sharp n smooth like a Beak. in my beautiful heart #ALSO UGHGHGH BIG SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 7 BUT #THAT THING WITH THE MAP. WITH THE DEMONS N VAMPS. THEYRE KEEPING TRACK OF THEM. #'so viv. was that one of mine or one of yours?' IS THIS A PET PROJECT OF THEIRS OR SOMETHING. ARE THEY PULLING MORE STRINGS THAN WE THINK #IS ONE TUGGING AT THE DEMONS AND THE OTHER TUGGING AT THE FANGS? PITTING THEM AGAINST EACHOTHER SO THEY KILL EACHOTHER? #AND THEN ITS EASIER TO TAKE THE BODIES FOR THEIR FUNNY CREATIONS?? IT PROLLY WASNT EASY TO GET SUPPLIES B4 EDWARD CAME INTO POWER #BUT OH MY GOD.. POOR EMIZEL.. THE MEMORY OF HIS CREW WAS TAKEN AND THEN HE WATCHES A BUNCHA THEM GET HORRIBLY DISMATNLED N DISTORTED #HE KNOWS HE CARED FOR THEM AT SOMEPOINT N HE KNOWS THE MEMORIES WERE TAKEN BUT HE JUST. CANT. AUAUUGGUAHGUAHGUAHGUHG #THAT SUCKS SO BAD FOR HIMMM EMIZEEEELL EMIZEL CMERE BABY BOY ILL SMOKE U OUT BOY. GET AWAY FROM THOSE EVIL GUYS I AM BETTER N CAN BE TRUSTE #viv n vex are so cool...theyre fuckin CRAAZYY N SCARYYY BUT ALSO. SO FUNNY... I LOVE A PUNNY JACKASS... 'LOOKS LIKE YOUVE BEEN: DISARMED!' #'IVE MADE THAT JOKE 6 TIMES AND ITS STILL FUNNY EVERYTIME' i gotta draw more of their bullshit... #im already doodling up the 'YOU CAN CALL ME MOMMY!!' bit. i gotta draw more o the monstors n the horrors too... especially emizels sire UGH #I LOVE VILLIAINS THAT ARE SO GENUINELY SCARY BUT SO FUNNY... charlie just does evil ppl like no one else idk what it ISSSS #okayokayoka y im normal im. relistening to the ep n im at the edward part. oh my god. i actually love him. he actually makes my skin crawl #IM DONEthats my rambles for tha day. back into my hole i go. also i have comms open. cmere pspspss i need moneyyy heyyyy cmereeeee #check out my main artblog. GO!!!

[ipostmysimpingstuffanonymously]

respectfully requesting a drawing of taichi and sora together and maybe with the proud satosho parents in there too 🥹👉👈

ÖISEDÖIOKJYEGRJN.KYBR always. I love the mole babies. Ugh i cant not draw them Head canon dump in the tags

#the molebabies have my heart #for the love of god dont ship them they are siblings (warning) #for those who dont know who they are these are satoru and shokos kids #we have taichi a brunette and blue eyed boy with a gentle heart and rct powers who loves his mommy very much #and we have sora the gojo clans princess and satorus biggest treasure on earth #she has a version of infinity that she uses to fuck people up in hand to hand #since she doesnt have six eyes she doesnt do hollow purple and stuff but shes still strong af and will do anything to protect her baby bro #also she gets him into trouble because she thinks hes a stuck up and boring #love em #babies #satosho #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #fanart #IPMSSA_SatoSho!Fanart

[mazojo]

“Is it like Korean thanksgiving?”

“Yes minus the genocide”

Yuri as my favorite character

#ALSKSKWKW she just like me fr I also insult thanksgiving whenever I get the chance queen legend shit #wait so is kitty gonna invite Min Ho to the celebration and are they gonna bond bc he has mommy issues? I am getting so good at this game of #guessing the plot please tell me I’m right #also like I know the whole point is for it to be kittys story and fuck the rest of her family but it’s kinda weird how no one gives a shit #SKSKSKK queen moved across the globe and they are all like yeah so anyways chile what’s for dinner #xo kitty #yuri

[gottagetgogottagetattahere]

Knives is such a hypocrite and a liar and he lies most of all to himself and i hate him but i also love it. Bro's so coked up on copium all the time.

Claims to be doing it all for the sake of Plants, then arguably takes away their agency and freedom way more than humans ever could. Claims to be doing it for his brother and literally ruins his brother's life in every possible turn. Claims humanity never learns from their mistakes and it literally takes dying for him to stop doubling down on his bullshit. the medical abuse done unto tesla horrified him so much and yet he is directly responsible to the same abuse being subjected to countless of children.

Given the chance, I would love to be his sleep paralysis demon. i do not think I could fix him, but I think I can drive him to early retirement from super villainy.

#millions knives #trigun #tristamp #trimax #i hate this man but also i adore him #or at least i adore grinding his psyche between my teeth #guy has so much crunch to him #the worst possible man to me i need to ruin his life #i gotta say that when i first got into trigun the overall tone coming from the fanbase did soften me up to get absolutely demolished by #literally all the fucked up things happening all the time #but i see less ppl horrified about the fucked up things knives does to the sisters he claims to be protecting than i expected?? #which idk feels like a waste #also saw someone who said who doesn't like a villain who just wants to protect his sisters and dude if that is what protection looks like #id rather be thrown to the wolves #he is so fascinating to me but also i understand him on a molecular level and thats why i hate him so much but again #crunchy guy #nai saverem #vash's mommy issues have nothing on knives i can prove it ( i cannot but i can infer and i can dream)

[felswritingfire]

Homelander x Chaotic! Hyper Fem!Reader

The Homelander brainrot is real and I hate it with my whole being. I want this man dead, he's so pathetic. Anyway, I haven't watched The Boys but I'm hooked on his character thanks to falling down the rabbit hole with Character.Ai and all the talented writers for The Boys fandom, like? Absolutely scrumptious works. Also I just really wanted to write for a chaotic reader, the hyper fem part came after lmao

TW: This was written with a AFAB reader in mind so there's descriptions of Reader wearing a skirt, no pronouns specified; Homelander's creepiness is considerably toned down for this, but he does break into reader's apartment and actively stalks them; Reader says some saucy stuff; Cussing; Homelander has a panic attack/mental break down; Reader is a horny virgin; Age Gap, it's only mentioned once or twice, but it's still there and prevalent; Gen Z humor- reader is a Gen Z baby, they're in their early 20s

"You didn't tell me that Homelander had a slutty ass waist." The words caught him off guard. They were whispered. Somewhere in the crowd. His eyes fought to stay glued onto the press speaker, his smile twitching ever so slightly.  The comment had hung in his head, floating around like a phantom, even as he took the stage and did his speech perfectly. Like always. He preens as the people clap and cheer for him.  Then the voice chirps out, in the safety of the cheering and the noise: "Homelander? More like Sluttylander, am I right?" He hears a scoff after that, zeroing in on the conversation now: two women. No older than their mid 20s. "Hey, I mean that respectfully." "You know he's like 20 years older than you, right?" "I'll bend him over and make him call me daddy. I'm not a coward." A cackle. He had scanned the crowd while keeping a smile plastered on his lips. He was curious what foul mouth little shit was talking. Until his gaze lands on… you.  You look like the cat that got the cream as you look at your friend who has to hold onto you for support as she giggles and laughs. Your bright eyed gaze moves from her back to him just to tense as you catch his gaze. "Um," you elbow her- Renae- to get her attention and she giggles before she looks and she's freezing too. "He isn't looking at us is he?" She shrugs. "I don't know…" she trails off. You squint before covering your mouth with your hands, talking just loud enough for Renae to hear you but no one else. "Blink twice if you can hear us." It was a joke. There's no way- And then he's blinking. Once. Twice.  "Oh bitch-tits." You want to scream, grabbing Renae's wrist, pushing through the crowd. "Fuck, dude, this is going to be my thirteenth reason, I swear to fuck-"  He watches the two of you go. He shouldn't be interested. You're just some snot nosed kid. But… how you spoke, the chaotic-ness of it all. The way the light caught your hair, the curves of your body, the way that skirt flares up as you scurry away... he's intrigued to say the least…

💫 Homelander wasn't normally so… interested in the general public, but he had been quick to commit your face and voice to memory. He had actually stumbled upon you, finding out you worked at some high-end retail job. You dealt with snooty people and all the while kept up that pretty little customer service smile despite the clear signs of barely concealed frustration searing under your skin. He could smell the heat of your blood and watched you through the building's walls when you went on break and sat down stiffly, just to scream into your hands. It started out as something funny because he found your misery amusing and then the descent into madness started.

💫 It was like he went through the five stages of grief. At first he had convinced himself that he keeps watching you out of sheer amusement. And then he started to take in more pieces of you: how you took care of things you treasure; how you cared and cooed at the plants that were in your house; how you talked to that damn fish that your treasured so much; your little mannerisms- things he started to find… cute. Then it was denile: no he didn't find you cute he found you amusing. He laughed when you seethed about your toast burning; how you had a breakdown as soon as you got off work because the crushing weight of living in a capitalistic society came crashing down on you; how you talked to yourself like you were having a full blown conversation with another person- you were amusing. And then came the realization and then rage: how dare you make him feel like this? You were just a sniveling little thing. He was a god. How dare you? And then came acceptance. He was… casual when he accepted it. Like all the turmoil had fallen off his shoulders. He was watching you, taking in how you nurtured your "plant children", how you talked to them and wiped the dust off their leaves. It made his heart flutter.

💫 After that, his casual viewings become much more of a time investment as he pays closer and closer attention to you. Every waking moment he has when he's not busy juggling the press and Vought, is spent watching you. Taking in information and storing it in his brain for safe keeping: what you like to eat; your favorite type of plant; your dream vacation; what type of fish you have (you have a betta. He searched them up. He learned all about them to feel closer to you). 

💫 Soon enough, observing isn't enough. He starts to go into your apartment when you're not home, looking at the coziness of your space. Taking in the scent and looking at your plants and your Betta fish that flares his gills at him. It makes him snort in amusement. How cute. He'll lay on your bed, shoving his face into your pillows and inhaling deeply, moaning in contentment. 

💫 He also starts to "coincidentally" run into you on the streets. He finds it so funny each time you gawk at him. A "holy fuck!" Leaving you as you gesture wildly, "it's fucking Homelander!" 

○ He's not too keen on your potty mouth, but he supposes he can let it slide. He's just as bad.

💫 He smiles his charming little smile as he'll make small talk with you, his hands on his hips as he takes you in. He loves knowing how much stronger he is than you and he has to fight hard to keep from popping a boner. You're so fun to talk to, you say the most out of pocket things:

"Yeah, like, almost got stabbed by a homeless man today. Like, 0/10 would not recommend." You said, looking at your nails. Frowning about the nail polish already chipping. "Yeah, well, not many people put 'being stabbed' at the top of their list of things to happen to them." He replies with a laugh, moving closer to you, taking in that mellow perfume you wear. "I mean, I'm down for knife play, but I'm a classy slut. You have to take me to dinner first." He's flabbergasted. He loves it.

💫 He begins to insert himself into your life, taking up more and more of your free time, you don't even notice it at first. How he just… starts spending time at your home. How you two begin a ritual of movie night every Saturday (he forced Vought to make that day his off day. He was not to be called under any circumstance short of the world going to implode on itself). You have so many emotions in that body of yours and he finds it amusing when you gasp or a look of disgust crosses your face at something a character did. You'd be horrible at poker.

"What the fu-" He has an easy smile on his face as he wraps his arm around your shoulders and places his hand over your mouth. Not threateningly. More playful than anything. You simply hold onto his hand with both of yours as you watch the screen. 

💫 You catch him off guard all the time. Your girly appearance gives nothing away to the chaotic tendencies. You were the closest thing to an actual agent of chaos he's seen. He once watched you, while you were with that little friend of yours- Renae- run across the street as a group of men cat called you, swinging your purse at high velocity speed, yelling: "I'll fucking end your bloodline!" The men were terrified and scurried off screaming "crazy bitch!" You had given Renae a thumbs up, proud of yourself. He also watched you steal a pro-life abortion sign "saying Jesus wouldn't want this" and javelin throwing it into someone's backyard pool before bolting down the street, cackling. Both times in heels. Both times he was weirdly turned on. 

💫 He likes how girly you dress. He loves it actually. He loves all the soft pastel colors you wear and the pleated skirts. It makes you look soft and delicate and he's obsessed with it. He has a tendency to pull at the hem of your skirt, flick it up slightly. You just give him a dead stare and lift up your skirt. "Shorts, bitch." You do it every time and he thinks it's funny.

💫 He hates that you're home screen is a collage of Soldier Boy with that stupid cursive font saying: "my daddy is super dead, but he could still hit it <;3". He hates it and then your lock screen is of your fish.

"Why do you have that?" He asks with disdain.  "What?" She asks looking up at him. He rolls his eyes. "Don't play stupid. Why is he your wallpaper? He's dead. He's been dead." Sure, that was his hero but like hell he wanted to see that man's charming smirk on your homescreen. "Soldier Boys is hot." You say it with all the seriousness of someone telling a prophecy. Homelander's eye twitches. "And I'm not." "No. You are. With your slutty waist." She assures him. "But Soldier Boy is the OG daddy." He scoffs. 

● He ends up stealing your phone later on when you're not looking and changing the wallpaper himself, having memorized your password.

💫 For as flirty and raunchy your mind was, you were oddly freaked out of genuine touch. The first time he tried to make a move on you, you screamed and almost gave yourself a concussion with how you fell over the arm of the couch. He was stunned until you explained you had issues with romantic touch. "Daddy issues, am I right?" She tries to play it off with a laugh. He is not laughing. Later, though, he starts to find it amusing, taking the chance to make you squirm and blush is so funny to him. He revels in your pain and embarrassment.

● He has killed people who had done the same. Like, actually snapped a guy's neck for it.

💫 He is NOT thrilled when you talk about wanting to rail fictional characters. He actually gets pouty. Genuinely gets pissy. He tries to ban you from watching anime.

"But. Toji hot." "I don't care if 'Toji hot'. He spits. "Toji is a fictional character. You need a real man that knows how to please you." You look at him, eating a spoonful of cereal despite his protests about eating it so late. You chew slowly and swallow. "Toji's got that potent dad nut. It works, John." Homelander practically chokes on his spit at that.

💫 He lets you call him John. He likes when you call him John. Call him John.

💫 He actually tries to be better for you because you've voiced how you didn't like when people get hurt. He tries. Key word tries to be more aware, to be a better person. Just for you. 

💫 Absolutely goes insane if you praise him. It's all he wants and all her craves. You've casually complimented him once and he's latched onto it ever since. He's infatuated with your praise. He's like a puppy, looking to you after he did a good deed, looking to you when he does a chore right. It's almost better than sex for him. Almost.

💫 He's elated when you let him lay in your lap. Despite how squeamish you were about sex, you craved physical touch and, guess what? So does he! He's obsessed with laying down and taking in your sweet scent, your fingers playing with his hair as you scroll through your phone. He adores the casual touches you leave on him, adore every time you hang onto his arm. He knows you don't mean anything romantic, but it still fills a hole to have a genuine companion that cares about him in his life. 

💫 You've helped him after a breakdown, when his mind felt like it was splitting and his ego was taking in a mind of its own- and then there you were. In all your pretty, pastel colored and pleated skirt glory.

"John?" You say softly, not approaching him just yet. Giving him the space he needs. "Do you need a hug?" He's breathing hard. He didn't know why he came to your apartment. He thought he was going back to his penthouse in Vought towers. But no. Here he was. And you're standing there, confused about your pretty features. The chaotic side of you is completely gone for the moment. He just stares at you. Of course you'd run to some bitch. A voice hisses in his head. We're a god among men and you come crawling to some fucking-  He squeezes his eyes shut. Your eyes soften. "Come on." You say, your voice soft and gently. A soft coo to him. "Let's sit you down." You open the door wider for him and he trudges in, looking completely drained. He sinks into your couch and you disappear into your room and come out with a fuzzy blanket. The one you wrap around the two of you have movie night. You drape it over him, gently. "It's ok, sweetheart," you say. "I don't know what's happening but you're safe now." He almost scoffs. No one could touch him. He was The Homelander. But… how you said it. It made his chest ache with something heavy. "Can… Can you hold me?" He practically whispers. "Of course, honey." You open your arms up for him. He immediately melts into your hold, his head pressing against the crook of your neck, his hands desperately clinging to the back of your shirt. He sucks in a breath of your scent before he breaks, fat tears rolling down his cheeks as his sobs into you.  He's not a pretty crier. But who is? You run your hand through his hair. Your cheek resting against his head. It feels strange to see a man that could be your father break down. But you had a feeling he was a mess on the inside. All that bravado and charisma making up for an abysmal childhood.  It takes him a while to calm down. His puffy eyes blinking, his blue eyes glassy, he sniffles.  "Oh, sweetie," you coo, swiping your thumb under his eyes to wipe the tear streaks away. "You look like a mess." You say softly, not to make fun of him. Just to state an obvious fact. He sniffles, glaring at you.  You smile at him and he melts.

💫 He won't let you paint his nails, but he wants to paint your nails. He has a pension for picking colors related to him. You make fun of him for it. 

💫 He lets you put accessories in his hair. ONLY when it's movie night. He did accidentally go to a meeting with a hair clip that has rhinestones that spelt 'JUICY' on it. The Seven stayed silent and he was embarrassed as hell when he saw it in the mirror of the window.

💫 HE IS ACTUALLY TRAUMATIZED WHEN YOU FIGURE OUT HE WEARS A BODYSUIT OH MY GOD. HE SUFFERS. THAT'S HOW YOU GET HIM BACK FOR MESSING WITH YOUR FLUSTEREDNESS.

"What's up, my cute stick bug." "Shut the fuck up."  You are the only person allowed to poke fun at him about that. Anyone else would get obliterated.

💫 If you involve him in picking out your outfits, he has hit Nirvana. He has truly seen heaven. He actually has a pretty solid eye for clothes. But he will take the opportunity to coordinate an outfit that has colors that compliment his hero outfit. If you notice, he'll play dumb.

💫 Anyway, congratulations, you have an OP friend. Until he isn't content with just being friends any more….

Thank you for reading! If you'd like to support me consider donating to my Ko-fi!

#the boys tv #the boys #the boys amazon #homelander #the boys homelander #the boys x reader #homelander x reader #x reader #fem reader #afab reader #kinda nsfw. #tw: age gap #tw: cussing #tw: stalking #tw: breaking and entering #not a reblog. #I messed with one thing and now this fuck ass is eating up my life #shoot me in the foot now I swore no mommy issues man would give me this many emotions and here I am #I AM FULY AWARE HE'S A HORRIBLE PERSON DON'T WORRY #IT HAUNTS ME #Also this is under the pretext of Reader not realizing how much of a piece of shit he is #But I kind of churned these out so... #if you want a part 2 totally ask #I wanna write one with Soldier Boy #also if he was played by anyone else other than fucking Jensen I'd beat the shit out of him. No shield would save his ass from my wrath #say goodbye to your knee peepaw #READER ALSO DOESN'T KNOW THE FULL EXTENT OF HIS MOMMY ISSUES. AT ALL. #READER KNOWS HE HAS ISSUES BUT NOT HOW BAD

[voidfishbitch]

Finding catharsis in fiction is all fun and games until you have to explain to your therapist that you were able to process a lot of your feelings about your religious upbringing by listening to a twink with a super thick French accent go absolutely feral against a make believe church

#devo la main #taz ethersea #the adventure zone #he means an unfortunate amount to me #purely bc by listening to ethersea #I was like ‘oh! I am also so fucking angry’ #and was able to acknowledge and let go of a lot of pain that that was causing #stupid little cathartic French man #next up is both of us unpacking mommy issues

[lightbluedarkpink]

no i wouldnt date him but if he wanted me to call him a good boy i would milk him dry in every single way my disgusting perverted heart desired until not a single drop of cum falls from that aching, red cock. (that would not stop me)

#degradation k1nk #humiliation kink #mommy k!nk #femdxm #god im a horrible person #what hornyness does to one #i really want him to call me up moaning #not my fault he's cute and obsessed with me #i would fuck the daylights out of this insistent little man #subby boys