#but also the dude literally could not stop being racist for five minutes. and his writing style started getting annoying

[layeredwanderings]

Going back over my logs of EastEast. A lot of thoughts below the cut. Edit: Fixed the uh. text duplication. I think.

Thoughts on characters:

Camille [17] is “a Corpse from the Neck Down” and yet most of Doc Slaughter’s notes on her focus on her psychological issues. Is this just something normal there. Ria [R5] tries to control/destroy reality to avoid the inevitable pain of being disappointed. #girl.

Not sure who “Ms Closer” and “Ms Flower” are. Unless Flower (who “says Reality is an Illusion”) is Ria? Unsure, though - in MHT3, Slaughter says there’s no artifact presence among her clients. And in MHT1 she says that Closer and Camille are both paying for the same work... maybe Closer is a friend of Camille’s who wants her to get therapy?

Neville [R2] is actually doing well and just getting therapy because “you never know”. His twin Devona [R4] has problems, albeit relatively normal ones. Not sure if they actually are twins, or just friends and are called “The Twins” for some reason.

Someone called “the Killer” refuses therapy, and Doc Slaughter is more curious about their fear of being known than the whole being called The Killer thing. (Then again, her own name is Slaughter... but names and titles are probably different things.) I wonder if this character and “The Eye Killer” are the same or different.

Doc Slaughter will get deported from “this layer of Reality” if she interacts with Witherby [R1]. Wonder why that is. Also, is he the only one who doesn’t commit tax evasion? Or just the only one who has anything to file taxes on? :thinking: Possibly similar to him, Doc Slaughter isn’t supposed to think about Vik or, presumably, she goes all weird in some sort of way. Are they a living cognitohazard or does she just have a weird thing about something to do with them?

Yongki [I1] [47] got his mind completely wiped every time he saw his own reflection in a mirror, until the Captain showed up. Kinda fucked up. Is the 47 the number of times it happened while Slaughter was treating him? Is the Captain his roommate or headmate? A few things imply the latter.

Parker [21] knows he’s in an isekai setting, and has hopped multiple universes. And has no impulse control. Get this man some ADHD medication stat. He has a “proclivity towards deep tunnels into the earth”... I have no idea what that means but it sounds fun. Minecraft.

Khana [I3] is pretty much a Beholding avatar, whose coping strategy is violence. He seems like an interesting character.

The concept of this “Shambling Horror” guy [C-003] is interesting. I think at some point I read something in which Slaughter mentioned that the Horror was wearing her face? Could be wrong on that, though. She also says that "Lesser" horrors don't have the ability to fit into society better than anyone else. His partner Tyrfing has some interesting aliases. "That Guy With The Sword, That Guy With the Worm Babies". Wonder what his deal is.

Overall, the characters that interest me the most are Yongki, Parker, and Camille. I'll have to keep reading through the site for more.

Thoughts on other things -

“The 12 Call To Me.” I wonder what this means.

Slaughter says “The Whispers Within me call for Ronin.”

She casually mentions "a few minutes of lost memory" upon questioning the Captain a bit too hard... is that normal for her, or one of his abilities?

All of her patients have been in this universe for "centuries" before she arrived, and she mentioned something about "Loop[s] of the Spiral". Timeloops?

The patients all worked for a corporation that benefited from "Employee Trauma associated with Containing Horrors." I wonder if Horrors here includes the Shambling Horror guy or if he's just called that. There’s someone named Wanda [Last Name Unknowable], and someone named “Not-A-Minotaur” so clearly names are just weird in this setting.

#User: Pilot #zampaniosim #EastEast #if the readmore on this post doesnt work im going to bite something #writing this up as a distraction from my current struggles with Unity. why is animation so got damn finicky #been nice to read something other than Lovecraft. I've decided to read all his writing for some godforsaken reason and like #I understand how he became so influential in the field of cosmic horror #but also the dude literally could not stop being racist for five minutes. and his writing style started getting annoying #around the 45th time he described somethign as unnamable or by briefly listing everything that it wasn't #not that those aren't useful techniques. but theyre better used in moderation

[rickriordanfandam]

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 

#riodanverse opinions #frank zhang #hazel levesque #leo valdez #piper mclean #jason grace #percy jackson #annabeth chase #grover underwood #tkc #the kane chronicles #mcga #magnus chase #magnus chase and the gods of asgard #pjo #pjato #hoo #Heroes of Olympus #the seven #octavian #luke castellan #meg mcaffrey #apollo #trials of apoll #travis stoll #connor stoll

[army-of-mai-lovers]

hello arthur!! tbh people are being terrible in your inbox and the last ask killed my brain cells so this is your free bingo card to talk about anything you like. also sometimes googling sharks with human teeth (exactly what it sounds like) helps!! much love <3

oh my gosh I’m OBSESSED with these photos they’re so cute!!!! and thank you for the bingo card Effie I appreciate it so much. I’m gonna rant about Deadly Class (a show I definitely don’t like and thus don’t run a fan blog for....smh) bc it’s on my mind and it looks like it’s just going to go quietly into that good night instead of being made fun of and dissected and I think that should change bc goodness gracious that show does not deserve a dignified death. also I’m gonna put this rant under a readmore bc this is gonna be long and it has nothing to do w atla. warnings for discussions of racism, callous mentions of murder and death, swearing, discussion of Nazis, discussion of gore, abuse ment

Okay so for those not in the know (which is probably everyone considering the show was on Syfy and it’s being canceled due to low viewership) Deadly Class is a teen murder drama set in the late ‘80s starring Lana Condor, which makes it sound like it was engineered in a lab to appeal to me. Literally my friend and I were in the middle of watching Schitt’s Creek, which I adore, and she was like “well I heard about this show called Deadly Class” and described it and I was like fuck Schitt’s Creek we’re watching this. It had a 64% on Rotten Tomatoes, which usually makes me nervous, but I was literally like “I don’t care because I know I’m going to love it.” 

And well. I did not love it. 

I truly do not understand how one fucks up “teenagers (mostly) of color go to murder boarding school in the late ‘80s” that bad (I mean the Russo brothers are involved and they fuck up everything they touch so perhaps it was just that). I haven’t read the comic the show is based on but it does appear that a *lot* of the issues of the show stem from the comic, which is...disappointing. Basically, our MC, Marcus, starts off the show homeless after his group home burned down (and it’s heavily implied that he was the one to do it) and gets hunted down by these elite teenage murderers who invite them to their murder school. 

Already, numerous problems are starting to show themselves. First of all, Marcus is Latino, which, yes, it’s very cool that the MC is Latino, except he is literally the white-passingest man I’ve ever seen in my life, and I’ve seen my dad. I didn’t realize that he was Latino until they showed his extremely stupid backstory in a shitty animated sequence and whoever was voicing his dad did this really, really thick Nicaraguan accent and I was like wait a damn minute. So then, I looked it up, and the guy playing Marcus is named Benjamin Wadsworth, which immediately made me think that they had pulled a Noah Centineo and made me think this fully white actor was half Latino (and yes, Latinos can be white, but I think Marcus is supposed to be a nonwhite Latino, and I thought Benjamin Wadsworth was both white and non-Latino). But you know, as an light skinned ethnically ambiguous mixed kid myself, I thought I owed it to him to dig a little deeper, and turns out our pal Ben is mixed (also, he’s like six months older than me and married, which is a trip). And like, okay, I guess I’m glad they didn’t get a white non-Latino man to play a Latino character, but they literally got the whitest looking Latino they could think of to play him. He originally auditioned for Billy. Billy’s the token white. And the producers were like “wait you have Latino ancestry?” (how they found that out I don’t fucking know) and let him go for Marcus. And like. Okay. The character in the comics is light-skinned but he does not look white, and Benjamin is not a good enough actor for them to just pass on the actors who surely auditioned for that role and were more visibly Latino but like. Okay, I guess. 

Second of all, this show is mega racist and it starts to reveal itself when you look at how the murder kids are styled in literally their first appearance. What struck me the most was the fact that the Latina (whose name is fucking Maria, for heaven’s sake) was wearing a sexy red dress and Day of the Dead makeup, which, I’m sorry, huh? That just so happens to be the Mexican girl’s murder outfit? I’ve tried to give them the benefit of the doubt and speculate that maybe she wears it to like, subvert people’s expectations, but at this point idk how this is subverting anyone’s expectations nor why she’d be so invested in that. Also, she’s supposed to be a teenager. It’s fucked up to sexualize any of your child characters but it really hits different when it’s your Latina character (and yeah, I know the actress playing Maria isn’t a teenager, but still, it’s the principle of the thing). And then of course, the Black guy, Willie (no he’s not related to Billy they were just like yeah two guys with rhyming names in our main cast sounds legit) is a gangbanger dude who talks the way that white people think Black people talk. I keep waiting for this guy to have one line that’s not complete garbage, but I’m five episodes deep and so far nada, which sucks so bad because there’s like, kernels of an interesting character buried in this horrible racist trope. Also, they had him sleep with a N*zi. I hate it here. Lana Condor (her character’s name is Saya) gets off fairly okay, at least in this first shot (they don’t have her wearing a kimono to go murder people, thank fuck), but the way she behaves is super weird, like kinda flirty towards Marcus, kinda badass but not enough to actually do anything, etc. Billy’s white so they couldn’t make him a racist caricature or anything but I have no idea why he’s here. See, instead of talking about the real politics of the real world, Deadly Class makes up fake prejudice that honestly makes the lok bender/nonbender bullshit look sensible. Maria, Willie, and Saya are Legacies, which means that their families are established murderers (fun fact: the N*zi girl is also a Legacy, because her father murdered hundreds of civil rights activists. And the characters of color align themselves with her. I don’t understand.) Billy, and later Marcus when he decides to go to murder school, are Rats, meaning they have no affiliation with established murder groups. So, in this show, the people of color have privilege over the (mostly white) Rats. Make it make sense. Further, this means that Maria, Saya, and Willie should have absolutely no reason to hang out with Billy, and yet they do because the Russo brothers have heard that the kids these days like the found family trope, so they put five unlikely friends in a room together and insinuated that they could all be besties. I swear, this show is the La Croix of found family tho, in that there is absolutely no flavor whatsoever. None of the characters develop into a found family. Saya is bound to care for Marcus for reasons, Maria is using him, Willie is also using him, and Billy is only his friend because they’re both Rats. Saya and Maria are already friends (and honestly their friendship is the most compelling thing in the whole show). There are no other connections between the characters. But they’re totes a found family!!!!/s

Also, they don’t let Saya be mean. Every character says “oh Saya’s such a bitch” but do we ever see Saya being a bitch??? No! Saya is literally just a nice girl who is kinda quiet sometimes and murders people and has a tragic backstory. There’s an argument to be made for Maria being more bitchy than her tbh. And like, fine, if you want Saya to be nice, she can be nice, but stop telling me she’s mean then!!! If you’re gonna tell me that I’m gonna get to see mean Lana Condor in a leather jacket in this show then deliver bitch. 

There’s truly so much more I could talk about (Chico??? What the fuck is Chico’s arc???? What in the actual hell were they thinking when they were writing anything to do with Chico????? my DUDES WHAT IN THE SAM HELL. also making Billy straight was so fucking stupid he’s literally gay come on now, also Master Lin is so fucking useless what is he even doing here) but instead I’m going to outline the version of Deadly Class my friend and I have been talking about while we watch the inferior real Deadly Class. 

lots of things are the same actually because there are some elements of the show that have potential. Marcus is still homeless at the beginning, everybody still thinks he burned down the group home but he didn’t, Willie is still a pacifist, he and Marcus are still partners for their first murder school assignment, Saya’s mean (but like actually), Billy still has green hair and is the token white of the group (although a Billy of color.....thinking), and they all hate Reagan

in an ideal world Willie and Maria would have different names (Willie bc his name rhymes with Billy’s and that’s fucking stupid, also Willie is just a terrible name in general, Maria partially because it sounds way too similar to Marcus and I don’t understand why the guy who wrote this couldn’t make his characters have different sounding names, and partially because no Latina character of mine is going to be named fucking Maria), but for the purposes of this outline I’ll keep their names the same for clarity.

Marcus doesn’t initially have his rep. He’s on the streets when he sees a girl his age (Saya) come out of this elevator in the back of a restaurant brandishing a sword, and decides to go into the elevator, sees the stash of weapons, and decides to steal one so he can fend for himself better. 

also keeping the detail of Rory murdering a bunch of homeless kids, but now Marcus knows that Rory is actively hunting him down. 

in the process of robbing the school’s weapons collection, Marcus figures out that it’s a murder school

Master Lin catches Marcus robbing the school, they fight, Master Lin overpowers Marcus and ties him up. He says the weapons are for students only, and Marcus says he’s applying. Lin asks what his qualifications are, and Marcus says “you know that group home that burned down three months ago? all the kids that died? I started the fire.” 

(also no shade to Benjamin Wadsworth but in this version he is not playing Marcus. Marcus is not white-passing)

Master Lin initially doesn’t believe him, but Marcus presses on and eventually convinces Master Lin that this is really what happened, and so Lin welcomes him to murder school. 

Marcus’s first class is Poisons, and his lab partner is Billy, who takes a shine to him and shows him around school. There’s no Legacy/Rat nonsense, but you do have normal high school drama adapted slightly for murder school. Maria is the prettiest and most popular girl in school, Saya is the mean girl/valedictorian, Willie is the jock, and Billy’s the punky weirdo. 

Marcus is, of course, the new kid with a reputation to live up to. 

Things kind of fall apart when Willie and Marcus are paired up for an assignment: to seek revenge on somebody. 

also Willie’s backstory is extremely different. his dad was a Black Panther, and he was murdered by the FBI when Willie was a kid. distraught, his mom moved to Texas, where she started working a corporate job and rose really high in the ranks. To maintain her status in the company, she had to do some really horrible things, including working with the FBI to take down other civil rights activists. Willie found out about this and was absolutely horrified. his mother insisted she was doing this so that he could have a better life, but he refused to listen to her, and ran away, and ended up at murder school. 

Willie got into murder school because Lin knows who his mom is, and assumes that Willie is just as cutthroat as she is. he gains a reputation as well. 

also, Willie’s extremely wealthy, and this shows in the way he dresses (preppy jock vibes)

you don’t find out about this backstory for a minute tho bc unlike Albert Kim and the Russo Brothers, I can wait until the right opportunity presents itself for a backstory drop. 

ok anyway back to what I was saying earlier

they have to seek revenge on somebody. Marcus asks Willie if there’s anybody he wants revenge on, and Willie very sincerely says no. Marcus scoffs at him and says he’s clearly had a very easy life, to which Willie replies, “Well, who do you want revenge on?” 

Marcus immediately says, “Rory.” 

So they track Rory down, and since Marcus hasn’t actually killed anybody, he hands the weapons over to Willie. Willie frowns and says that he has nothing against this dude he’s never met before, so Marcus should be the one to hurt him. Marcus says that this is a group project and Willie’s got to pull his weight, and they get into an argument

the argument gets loud, and Rory hears them fighting and starts chasing them. 

in the midst of the chase, both of them divulge their secrets to one another. Willie laughs hysterically and says that they deserve each other bc they both lied to get where they are, and now they’re going to die because of it

Rory backs them into a corner, and Marcus uses one of the swords he tried to steal earlier to shank Rory

They throw the body in a dumpster, and after this, they’re friends, and Marcus decides he’ll fit right in at murder school. 

ok so that was only one episode but things to look forward to in the version of Deadly Class that only exists in me and my friend’s heads: Marcus dealing with the emotional and moral fallout of his first murder, Willie trying to figure out what it means to be a pacifist in a world so hellbent on doing violence towards him, Saya being mean to everyone except Maria, Maria convincing Saya to relax and have fun, the gang bonding in a Breakfast Club style situation adapted for murder school and making a joke about how this is like the Breakfast Club because it’s the 80s and the movie just came out, Saya and Maria falling in lesbians, Marcus and Saya being depressing edgelord besties, Billy being gay and fighting his abusive father, Marcus and Billy being uncool weirdo bffs, Willie and Maria rolling their eyes at Marcus and Saya’s cynicism, Billy coming out to Marcus and talking about his experiences being gay, which makes Marcus think “hang on, why do I relate to that?”, Willie seeing Marcus make a sarcastic comment about kissing a guy and having a crisis, Marcus and Willie falling in love, the gang taking a road trip to Vegas to murder Billy’s dad and giving Billy a gnc thrift store makeover on the way, and eventually the gang murdering the shit out of Ronald Reagan. 

#caps tw #effie tag #replies #not atla #racism #murder tw #death tw #swearing tw #nazi #finn don't look #politics tw #gore tw #abuse ment #you do not have to read this effie it was very satisfying just to write it #arthur tags for later #gonna show this to my friend bc we haven't outlined anything this specific yet

[praphit]

BAMFs of 2019

Here's last year’s CHAMP -

THANOS

(Thanos: ”WTF did you just say?” #Mood)

Let's see if he made it back.

But, first, let’s take a look at some honorable mentions, as well as some people who were trying too hard:

Rey - 

Of course she is a total BAMF. So, why isn't she on this list? 3 REASONS: 1) She looks like a racist ex that I once dated. How can someone who decided to date you (a black man) be racist? Did y'all see the movie "Get Out"? You didn't know that the story was based off one of my relationships did you? So, yeah, she ain't ever gettin on this list.

2) The force is cheating - their I said it.

3) This last movie sucked. This rap she did didn't help her cause.

ALSO - there’s this - her rapping. I repeat, she ain’t ever getting on this list.

Nic Cage - cuz he's Nic bleepin Cage

Cardi B - cuz she’s Cardi bleepin B

Hooded Justice - if only he had been in more episodes. A black man disguising himself in a hood, as well as white, to fight evil in his neighborhood, that the police force (of which he is a part of) refuses to stop. Hell yeah! I love "Watchmen".

Lupita! - her brilliantly scary performance in "Us" is def BAMF material.

The Rock - honestly, The Rock is so awesome, and has been for so long, that he needs to be extra awesome to make it.

Trying too Hard. Please STOP:

Batwoman -

I like Ruby, but she's like an elf. She's an elf model. It's not bad to be an elf model, but... If a villain in Gotham, let's say "Bane" 

has me cornered, and Batwoman shows up to "rescue me", Imma start praying. He'd swing her around by that red hair of hers until her head pops off.

Rambo - He’s like 80! C’mon, Sly. Please STOP.

Dark Phoenix - a movie about her temper tantrum 

Joker -

 - not with all of that awkward dancing he was doing

NOW, finally, the top Bad Ass Muthas of 2019!

12) Greta - 

Say what you will about climate change, but you can't deny her passion and dedication, and how inspiring it is (unless you're Prez Trump or Fox News) to see and hear a kid like her do her thing. I admit that her winning the honor of "Person of the Year" is too much. But, we all wish our kids would be this dedicated to what they believe is positive change. Plus, she has a kickass soundtrack. Gets me hyped every time!

11) Dave Chappelle

Back in the day, comedians used to be brought on stage, tasked with the difficult job of making a room full of different types of people laugh. Now, it's not just about the job of jokes, but you have to do so without offending anyone, and with clean living. When did we start holding a comedian's behavior to a higher standard than we do elected officials? Dave saw this, and kept doing what made him popular anyway. In a world where most comedians are running scared from difficult topics, Dave plunges right in. BAD ASS. 

10) Linda Hamilton - 

Old as bleep! We have what's-her-face here, 

who is kinda badass herself, but despite being a badass cyborg (or whatever the hell she is), she still felt the need to ask for help from Linda bleepin Hamilton. LH traded her Hospice bingo card in for some guns and went to town on some machines! It'd be like if your home was being surrounded by aliens, and despite you having some fire power in your home and 911 at your disposal, everyone's first thought is to call grandma. That'd have to be one BAMF of a granny!

9) Masvidal - 

Allow me to describe this brotha to y'all who might not know.

Some guy was talkin smack to Masvidal, and that guy got kneed in the face by Masvidal (fastest knock out in UFC history = 5 secs). Some guy was arrogant enough to say he was the baddest mofo around, and Masvidal scheduled a fight with this dude for a literal baddest mofo around belt. Plus, that same night of the fight, when he was talking to the media after he had won, he started mocking Conor McGregor, talkin bout Conor don't want none of this. He was talking trash, publicly, about Conor, while people were feeding him pizza. BADASS!

If there is ever a fork in the road, and on one side you see The Rock, Jason Statham, and Will Smith chasing after you, and the other you have Masvidal sitting down, eating a slice of pizza, you had better take your chances with the three action heroes over this BAMF.

8) Nunes - 

If you don't know who she is, I wouldn't be surprised. The UFC botched her marketing before and after she fought and beat (badly) Ronda Rousey - yeah, RONDA ROUSEY; remember her? Nunes pretty much ended her career.

The UFC was so certain that Ronda was going to win, and so shocked when she lost, that they missed an opp to get behind a fighter who is better than Ronda (though mad respect for Ronda), and is currently holding TWO belts (first woman to do so). ALSO, she's the first openly gay UFC champ in history. She's so sweet too! - well, unless you're locked in the octagon with her, then she turns into a werewolf.

7) MANDO

I don't know about you, but all of this talk of teamwork from comic book movies can be a bit tiresome. The Avengers, The Justice League, The X-Men. Everybody wants to form a band. What happened to solo acts? What happened to lone rangers? People may say "There's no I in TEAM." Yeah, that's the prob! What about I?! Sometimes, you're Justin Timberlake, and the rest of the group is simply holding you back. That's Mando. He's Disney's updated (non-racist, unless you’re talkin drones) Lone Ranger. He doesn't need teamwork (maybe a weekly cameo, and a baby tag-along, but that's it!). He has beaten up gangs of robots, burnt people up, taken people out Jason Voorhees style, cut people in half, blown people up, blown off heads, BUT because it's Disney, we haven't seen any of that good stuff. He'd be higher on this list if they gave my man an R-rating.

6) Capt Marvel -

Captain Marvel is definitely the most powerful person on this list. She is probably also the fiercest person on this list. In Endgame, when she saw her black daddy (Nick Fury) on the screen, talkin bout Thanos snapped him away, and then something snapped inside of her, and she said "I'm going to go kill that mofo." The Avengers accompanied her, but I don't think she would have needed their help. She didn't really need their help in the final showdown with Thanos. He threw her aside, but you know she was coming back, until Tony got in her way. She is so fiery that it wouldn't surprise me if in her sequel, she goes back in time in order to rematch Thanos by herself, to prove her dominance. The reason that she's not higher on the list is because she's so damned destructive. She's just like The Hulk in the fact that she shows up to destroy everything. Now, she's a lot more focused than The Hulk, but she's so powerful that she does more damage. And she doesn't have much of a personality (so far), so it's hard to gauge her badassery of attitude, you know?? Like, if you're a villain, and you get in the way of a gorilla, that gorilla will destroy you in a very spectacularly badass way, but... it's a gorilla, you know??

I’M NOT CALLING HER A GORILLA. Don’t go snitching on me to her.

I just don’t know if she’s a hero or simply has anger management issues. Is she badass or too powerful not to do badass things?

Either way, RESPECT... or she'll come for that ass.

TIME FOR A BREAK - 

Let’s break from all of this badassery with some cuteness

Look how cute it is - I CAN’T TAKE IT!

Ok, back to action.

5) Iron Man - 

Look, Iron-Man started this shit! Who knows what would have become of the MCU had Robert Downey Jr. blew it. Tony Stark assembled the team (granted, he was partly the reason for the break-up), he gave us Spider-Man (with that suit) (he also gave us Ultron, but let's not get bogged down with details), he held his own against Thanos in "Infinity War",

Dr. Strange thought HIM worthy of saving, and no way time travel would have worked in "Endgame" without him. Plus, in the very end, he out-smarted Thanos, and countered Thanos' one-liner ("I am inevitable.") with his own ("And I... [five minutes later - I swear that's what it felt like] am Iron-Man.").

Paid the ultimate sacrifice. Hell yeah, he's on this list. I felt kinda bad for his wife. After IM3, she was barely around. And when Tony died, she was barely comforted... cuz nobody knew her. Oh, well.. she be aiight.

4) Thanos - 

This dude saw his demise coming, and still went straight ahead towards the foes who cut his head off. BADASS! He was exceptionally crafty in playing The Avengers and blowing up their base. Then, he was just sitting around waiting for the main Avengers (Capt, Iron, and Fat Thor). He wanted to gloat a bit first. BADASS! And had Gamora not betrayed him, and had given him the gaunlet, he would have beaten The Avengers AGAIN!

He even died with a cool pose (he took a knee and got his "Thinking Man" on). BADASS!

3) Arya Stark - 

This young lady scared the bleep out of me. She has my fear AND respect. I was actually scared for whomever her current target was... I was like "Run, fool! She gonna get ya! Damn, Arya, you didn't have to do them like that!"

Now, I know I talked about Ruby Rose being a ridiculous choice for Batwoman, but if Arya Stark left on a voyage to Gotham and became Batwoman, I'd buy that. I can see her killing Bane very slowly. This woman is a frickin psychopath, and I love it. She's fearless! She also went up against the top cheese of the white walkers. Y'all remember that badass move she had at the end!

YES! I only wish she had said something cool when she took him out, like... "You've been Starked." No, that's terrible, but something like that. I wish she was the one sitting on the throne, but they... you know... did what they did.

2) Capt America - 

I think that it's fair to say that Capt America was the rock of The Avengers After the snap, he was the only one to keep his shit together; he actually worked to help others keep their shit together.

Meanwhile, Widow is crying in the dark every night while having a PB sandwich and bourbon dinner. And she just gave up on her hair.

Thor became an alcoholic.

And you could say Hulk was ok, but... was he?

I mean, that ain't right. This is avoidance behavior if I've ever seen it.

But, Capt kept it together. Then, that fight with Thanos at the end was one of, if not THE best one on one fight of the series. Using both Thor weapons, meaning he was both badass on a fighting level and a righteousness level - which ain't easy to accomplish. And when he straped tight his shield in that trailer, and gritted his teeth - hell yeah!

Chills. Capt to Thanos: You motha bleeper"

1) John Wick - 

Three movies with no time in-between to shower, sleep, take a piss, brush his teeth, NOTHING! His life for the last few years (it seems like) has been running, lurking, hiding, beating ass.. and beating ass some more. Lord knows what this dude's kill count is up to. His nickname is "Baba Yaga" Have y'all seen what the actual Baba Yaga looks like?

Terrifying. And yet, not as terrifying as John Wick when he's angry at you.

The amount of endurance and focus that has gone into this long stint of murdering (only fueled by rage and a few shots of bourbon from time to time) is uncanny.

In JW3 he makes a guy eat a book (imagine what must be done to a person's jaw for that to happen), he gets shot, stabbed, hit my two cars (seconds within each other)... Nah, y'all ain't hear me! TWO CARS! The people in the cars were trying to kill him! He fought two super ninjas - like IP Man caliber, he beat up an army of soldiers, crawled through a desert, got shot by a friend who betrayed him, fell off of a building (bouncing around a few times before hitting the pavement), and was somehow still good to schedule a fourth movie after all of that - which I assume will pickup right there.

He doesn't have any superpowers (though you wouldn't know), but his tenacity is to be envied, and outdoes everyone else's on this list.

BAMF!!!

#John Wick #john praphit #bamf #marvel #thanos #praphitproductions.com #Captain Marvel #captain america #tony stark #The Avengers #praphit #terminator #Linda Hamilton #Arya Stark #baby yoda #the mandalorian #disney #batwoman #dave chappelle #greta thunberg #jorge masvidal #amanda nunes #action movies #Rey

[kneelbeforeclefairy]

Me vs my father in the enjolras is javert's son Les Mis AU that is my life

So. Me. 28. THIS close to her master's degree. Liberal. Socialist. Mixed kid. New Yorker. Just got home from living on her own in Greece. Been living away from parents for seven years. Queer. ADHD . Rsd. Imposter syndrome. Bad at rejection. Torn between two parents who are STILL fighting for me.

Living with Father because who picked the year of the coronavirus to give up her life .62. Barely completed high school. Said Regan was the best president he lived through. Trump voter. New Yorican who doesn't understand the world doesn't see him as white. Conservative who moved south and got worse. Blue lives matter dude. Not Batman.

Will not STOP. Provoking me.

It started with him mentioning you can't get aunt Jemima syrup any more because....you know . Me saying yes you can. The brand firs of all hasn't rebranded itself yet. It currently is still aunt Jemima and the packaging hasn't changed, still widely available. It's just going to rename itself. Get told no it's not "you can't do that any more." interrupted. Get to squeak out the bit about its gonna be the same recipe just called something else. Auntie J maybe. I think that's a good syrup name. He laughs and says it's gonna be BLM syrup.

(and you know what I find that trivializing but if that's what they wanted to name it who cares.)

(more context. His grandfather was black. He told me about being told as a kid by his father that little brown boys just say yes sir to the police. He got The Talk)

And then it goes to Porgy and Bess. Porgy and Bess is on so we watch it. All of us enjoy it thoroughly. He says "isn't this racist? What's the difference between this and aunt Jemima?"

Me.....

I have to get this information put as fast as possible . He's not really listening. He doesn't care. He's not asking . He doesn't find them both genuinely racist. He just....seems to want to catch me out. I try to explain. Porgy and Bess DOES Have some problems. But it was written in 1935 and was one of those Fair For It's Day things. Launched the careers of a lot of black classical singers. Still does. Some charecters might be a little sterotypical (Sportin Life did not age well) but in the hands of a good production and a good actor depth can be found. Rewrites have been made.

But I don't get to SAY any of these things. I try. I, well spoken, bordering on eloquent, stumble through a few poorly thought out points about interpretation and employment and he didn't see the difference between a classical singers playing Bess at the met and being well payed singing beautiful music and even if the roll is somewhat sterotypical and a product of it's times, through a good actress can become a wonderful three dimensional role, or at least no less than any other opera heroine and a poor black woman playing a completely one dimensional mammy sterotypes to sell syrup to enrich white people while playing off their own created nostalgia for oppression of the black race cause I WASNT PREPARED FOR FUCKING WAR OVER PORGY AND BESS. He just asked the questions. I'm on the defense. I've never even SEEN it before. I'm not ready to defend it. I didn't know I was going to have to. Hell, I'm not sure if it IS racist or problematic yet, we're 15 minutes it. He seems to know why I'm watching it at all if I'm so sensitive that a syrup name must trigger me.

He's not concerned it IS racist. Just seems to want to catch me in inconsistancies. Why do you watch this but you want the syrup renamed

(I didn't bring up the syrup. We were talking about the difference between brands in the north and south. He just brought up the fucking syrup and said it wasn't there any more. By the way. It is. I saw it in the fucking Kroger. And I literally do not care about the name of syrup. it's largely symbolic sure but if they want to rename themselves because yeah totally cringe history that's their business. Fine. It literally does not affect me. The recipe is there I'm just gonna call it aunt j or whatever)

And then this morning when I showed him a picture of the Alexander the Great statue o took on Thessaloniki

(masters degree in macedonian history/archeology, me)

He says

He SAYS

"I'm surprised they haven't taken that down."

In this stupid sing song way.

(like obviously this statue thing is an American thing with some England thrown in. I don't know much about Greek politics but I'm PRETTY FUCKING SURE they weren't invovled in the American transatlantic slave trade or the age of exploration my dude)

But he says "it's imperialism isn't it?'

Me "well yes but..."

"he conquered the world didn't he? Did he or did he not conquer the world. You think he did that by being nice to people?"

"well you'd be surprised how much alliance building and diplomacy was used but yes but--"

"so how's it different? Did he conquer the world? Did he own slaves?"

"actually probably not as macedonia wasn't really a slave society and the Persians DEFINITELY didn't have slaves"

"well I just think it's the same"

(frustrated. Can't show emotion or he wins. Already cracked a few days ago when he was talking about a cop iniured by "the mob" and COULDN'T because how many of my people were injured by them? And had to tell him to stop. Told he wouldn't talk politics. Does the above count)

Me. Lightly. "You're unable to grasp nuance. And you're just trying to provoke me"

Something happens. Subject changed. Did I win? Did I lose? We're always battling.

Thing is.

Yes.

There is an INCREDIBLY subtle and nuanced discussion to be had about imperialism in general and its effects and how even ancient imperialism effects us to this day. And how we view warfare and conquest in general and the stories we tell. I would argue Alexander was great because of his kindness, the cultural exchange he sparked, his clever tactics , his mastery of grand strategy, his diplomacy, his ability to use image, and only last his undefeatedness in battle. But I wasnt the one who called him Great, to whoever that was it was about the war. There is A LOT about Alexander and his affect on Persia,which, while we shouldn't layer modern politics over it (especially race based one. Yes Alexander was Caucasian but WHITENESS didn't exist then and Persia was the sophisticated empire , Greece was tiny and insignificant. It's just that Greece wrote the story and got to paint them as barbaians but it has nothing to do with race and they REALLY REALLY WEREN'T and even the Greeks knew that) did destroy an empire and affects the region to this day. Persian perceptions of Alexander are obviously not as kind, and equally important.

So yes there is a discussion to be had about that. And why we venerate a man who did kill thousands and why, I would argue, he still is a very good person who, despite his faults, does deserve that statue.

But we weren't having that

We were playing gotcha.

Cause even if he Couldn't grasp the difference between Alexander the Great, who yeah, totally did sell thebans into slavery in a system that attributed slavery to bad luck and if he had lost would have expected the same treatment to anyone who was not killed,and Confederate generals who thought and entire race was inferior due to their birth, fought for their continued enslavement, committed treason to the country he loves SO much, and LOST, and were memorialized in stupid statues by a bunch of sore loser white supremacists in an attempt to rewrite history to turn what could have been and should have been an Embarrassing chapter in a regions history that should have been healed from into the DEFINING THING about that area despite lasting onl five years and still the symbol of pain and murder to a large percentage of our population within VERY CLOSE TO LIVING MEMORY that has affects that are still here in a very real way because *gestures vaguely at everything* and have caused riots TWICE in your lifetime because it hasn't changed has it and also YOU'RE NOT SOUTHERN and why do you care?

Then I'm not sure what to say.

I don't know what he wants. He wants me catch me out? Debate the liberal cause they're so stupid ? Vent frustration at the liberal because fox news tells you to hate them? His way of processing Something he doesn't understand? Men can't ask for directions? He wants me to argue him, some nerd version of beating the old man at basketball? He feels inferior to his kid so he's gotta put me in my place? A nerd version of not letting the kid beat you at basketball? Test me? Make me prove myself? Make me represent all liberals so he can win?

I don't know what he wants. But I'm SICK OF IT.

And I'm sick of being torn between the mother who is frightened and overbearing and the father who seems to want to always make me keep up.

And I cant

Deal

With

Conservatives

Any more!

#personal #it is polite to tag the crazy as personal #long post #fathers

[plasticofficer]

//gonna just rant about work for a minute ignore me lmfao

Gotta love that my boss makes me work on a Saturday but isn’t around to answer questions which means I can’t actually do my full job today and I’m gonna catch hell for that.

Fucking love getting a tenant email me five billion times saying “fix thing or I’ll stop paying rent” and I have to keep saying “please refer to the email I sent you 20 mins/an hour/day/ect. ago where I literally said we’re sending someone at 4pm today to fix thing” only to get another email from them like “why isn’t thing fixed yet” idk ANTHONY MAYBE BECAUSE ITS NOT 4PM

god and so many of them are racist assholes like i got one dickhead who keeps complaining about any tenant who isn’t white but just calls them the (insert race here)s. It’s a different race each week, and every week I have to tell him that he can’t just blame everyone of a certain race for the dishes not being done.

And can?? my boss?? please stop writing emails and signing them with my name on my days off??

THE TENANTS ARE TWO WOMEN DONT CALL THEM CHICOS AND SIGN IT WITH MY NAME HOLLLYYYYY SHITIITTTTT

God and this fun cycle- Tenant: There’s a mouse on the property

Me: Oh shit! Okay, I’ve organised exterminators to come to the property tomorrow and the cleaners will be doing a deep clean of all the cupboards and common areas the day after. You guys just have to make sure you keep the house clean and make sure not to leave food out, and don’t keep food in your bedrooms!

Tenant: Ok -One week later- Tenant: The mice are bACK YOU DIDNT HELP AT ALL IM GOING TO STOP PAYING RENT

Me: Yea so im looking at the photos of the common areas the cleaners took for their cleaning report this morning and there’s like cereal all over the floor in the lounge room and food on the kitchen bench, and it also looks like you guys left the front and back doors wide open?

Tenant: well they’re in my ROOM. I have a photo! See! Me: There is literally half a plate of moldy food on the floor next to the mouse in that photo.

Tenant: I DEMAND COMPENSATION.

oh and this one that’s happened twice this week Tenant: I’m not paying rent this week

Me: oh... why?

Tenant: I had to pay a plumber because the tap in the bathroom was dripping for three days and you did nothing!

Me: Ok... so... you didn’t tell us it was dripping. We had someone out that way two days ago, they could have fixed it for you?

Tenant: I SHOULDNT HAVE TO TELL YOU

Me: I literally don’t live there and I’m not just gonna drop in every day to check everything is working holy shit.

Now i got this dude telling me that he’s been “bitten by cockroaches” and it’s my fault. Not only do the type of cockroaches he had in his room not bite, but also WE HAVE FUMIGATED THE HOUSE 5 TIMES NOW AND THEY KEEP COMING BACK BECAUSE HE HAS LITERALLY THREE PILES OF NEWSPAPERS STACKED IN HIS ROOM AND HE LEAVES HIS WINDOW OPEN 24/7 HOW IS IT MY FAULT.

It’s a real struggle to balance my “fuck landlords” attitude with my frustration with the shitty tenants I gotta deal with to pay my way through uni. Like I go above and beyond for these people and they are SO SO SHITTY. One guy ripped the fire alarm off his ceiling because he wanted to smoke weed in his room, and then he shittily duct taped it back on so it was hanging like 30 cm off the ceiling suspended by a duct tape hammock and when I asked him about it, he said “It was already like that.” and as iconic as that was, I don’t know why he expected me to believe it. One dude called the fucking cops on someone else on the property for “stealing some of his milk” I just... Working resident management for student accommodation blows.

#ooc #longe rant

[spaceorphan18]

Make Mine Music

So, Disney put all of it’s Animated Feature Films on Disney+ except this one.  Why? I’m not entirely sure? The Google isn’t being much help.  Maybe it’s because the first short is questionable in taste? It was edited out of the rare DVD releases.  I expected something explicitly racist but nothing stands out as such.  My biggest guess is that they couldn’t secure the rights to some of the songs, which is usually the case.  Who knows.  I expect at some point it’ll make its way back into the Disney canon. 

Meanwhile, though, all is not lost - I could find all the shorts on YouTube and other such video platforms.  Yay?  

So here we go, a run down of shorts you’ve probably not ever heard of.  

The Martins and the Coys - 

So, we kick it off with the most controversial little short.  It’s inspired by the whole Hatfields and McCoys thing -- which makes me wonder who thought that was a good idea to adapt into a children’s cartoon.  The story revolves around a bunch of dumbass rednecks who proceed to shoot each other dead until there are only two left.  And.  I had to stop and think about it as I was watching it.  It’s a cartoon, so it’s not graphic, and the ghosts all end up on clouds.  But --- this cartoon, seriously, had all of these idiots shoot each other dead in the first minute of this cartoon.  It’s incredibly morbid, and not really funny as Disney’s trying to make it off to be.  

The real ‘story’ is about a girl and boy left over from each family (lord help me, idk who is who), and they decide to fall in love instead -- except it’s stupid and dumb.  There’s nothing sweet about it.  Then there’s a five minute sequence of square dancing at the wedding, and afterwards, the girl and boy go back home, and still fight out the feud, because domestic violence is fun in kids’ cartoons.  

The whole cartoon is in bad taste, and I can see why they’d want to leave it behind.  Also, as a side note, the newlywed couple drive off in a car.  Which drives me crazy because this is the mid-19th century and no.  

Blue Bayou -

This was, like, a deleted scene from Fantasia, which was originally supposed to be set to Clair de Lune.  It’s literally just two birds flying around a literal blue bayou.  It would have worked, I think with the original music.  Instead, it’s the Ken Darby Singers singing a horrible song called Blue Bayou.  The audio quality doesn’t help it any - it truly horrid thing to listen to for five minutes.  But at least the animation is pretty.  

All the Cats Join In - 

So, the teens of Everytown USA dance to Benny Goodman.  That’s pretty much it.  I side-eye the fact that there’s an extended sequence where the teenage girl is drawn getting into and out of the shower merely because it seems the animators wanted to draw a nude girl.  You can also see the panties of the girls dancing, and there’s extended sequence where one of the girls gets upset that the animator made her butt look big.  Whatever.  Kind of opposite of the previous piece, I preferred the music over what was going on on screen. 

I’m also disappointed there weren’t more cats in something that self-identified as a cari’cat’ture.  

Without You - 

Unfortunately, it’s still decades before U2, and we’re subjected to this not great, depressing jazzy/Latino song about some dude waxing poetic, literally, abut missing the girl he loves.   The art is half way interesting as it tries to mimic the nonsensical lyrics of the song.  But the music was just irritating.  Again, recordings from the 40s, in general, don’t hold up well, but I’m also not a fan of this style of music nor this musical interpretation.  Sorry, Andy Russell. I’m sure you were a fine musician in your day. 

Casey at the Bat - 

I thought I had seen this one before somewhere, but the more I watched it, the more I realized that maybe I was just familiar with the poem.  It’s by far the most cartoonish and aimed at five-year-olds than anything that’s come before it, and I’m a bit meh on it.  By far the most interesting thing is the 40s comedic interpretation of the 1890s. 

Two Silhouettes - 

It’s two ballerina dancers (one male, one female) dancing to the title song.  You can tell that they’re live action people rotoscoped (apparently that’s what this is called) into the animation.  I mean.  You can tell that they were super excited about the idea of it -- especially, probably, after what they were doing with The Three Caballeros.  But silhouettes don’t really fit in (especially to the eyes of someone who is used to seamless CGI), and there’s a lot going on in the background, and most of it is not aesthetically pleasing.  Especially the color palette, which is kind of a barrage of colors that don’t look great together.  But mostly, this segment is just boring. 

Peter and the Wolf - 

This one I know I’ve seen before - most likely because it’s set to Prokofiev’s Peter and the Wolf, and I’m sure I watched in college to see how someone animated a short based on the narration of the music.  It’s the most straightforward cartoon so far, and turned way down compared to Casey at the Bat, which is a good thing.  It’s fine, it works.  Can’t say it was the most compelling thing, but it’s better than most everything else so far. 

After You've Gone - 

Another Benny Goodman piece.  I like Benny Goodman, so the music is at least enjoyable, and I’ll take the energetic pieces over the dreadfully boring ballads we keep getting.  The animation is the jazz instruments doing abstract things.  It’s fine.  The instruments on screen are reflecting what the music is doing in that moment, and while that should sound like an interesting idea, it’s really not that interesting on screen.  

Johnny Fedora and Alice Blue Bonnet - 

A fedora and a bonnet fall in love, and when they’re separated, the fedora has pines for his lost love until they reunite as hats for horses.  Thrilling, right? 

It does include the line: make your heart gay again.  And now I’m sad this isn’t about the fedora finding another fedora he can be life mates with. 

The Whale Who Wanted to Sing at the Met -

Well, I mean, ending on opera feels poetic if nothing else.  There’s a whale who sings, and a dude who thinks he’s swallowed opera singers instead of just being a whale who sings, because that is clearly more logical.  We get a montage of what looks like a meteoric rise to fame, only to find out that tragically the whale is harpooned instead of made famous.  I feel like there’s a metaphor in there somewhere.  While perhaps the most complex and compelling of all the shorts, I’m meh about opera, so I suppose I can just appreciate this for at least being innovated at the least. 

Final Thoughts: I don’t really understand who the intended audience for these shorts are.  Some are too silly for adults, while others are too drab and boring for kids (and lets face it - audiences who aren’t adults in the 40s).  

It felt more like the animators, who were scrapped for time because war, just threw things together that they were thought were interesting ideas, and nothing got really developed.  I’m also beginning to fully be fascinated by Disney’s obsession with the idea of parring music with visuals -- a theme in all of his films so far.  

I’m not sure any of this is outstanding work outside of mere curiosity from never having seen it before.   At least this calmer and, in a way, more enjoyable to sit through than the pummeling of whatever was on the screen during The Three Caballeros.  

#thoughts on disney

[purplesurveys]

564

You hate these 'Are we alike?' surveys, but you still can't resist them. I don’t hate them, I just don’t like just bolding stuff. I get talkative when it comes to surveys so I like explaining myself, like right now haha. I definitely answer these types much less often, though. You are female. Indeed I am. You are eighteen years of age. I’m three years older than that. Your hair is an unnatural (but tasteful) shade of red. It’s black, and I’ve never dyed it red either. You have brown eyes. It’s either black or very dark brown, because I’m not sure if black eyes are actually a thing.

You are single. Nah and haven’t been in a while. You have one older brother. Nope, I’m the eldest in the immediate family and I’m a sister to two siblings. You are third generation Russian and Polish. I’m quite sure there is zero tinge of both bloods in me. You live in Florida. And I also live way too far from Florida. I don’t think we’re much alike, man lol. ^And it is just way too fucking hot for you. Not at the moment. Christmas weather is approaching fast, so I can actually go nights without turning on the aircon now. You are currently waiting to get a piercing. Nope. Terrified of them. You have lots of tattoos already planned out. I don’t have any design ideas other than my dog’s pawprint and a plate of nachos. You write, but don't really consider yourself a 'writer'. If I did, it would probably be an insult to writers. I’m not always confident about my writing, even though I love to do it. You love photography (and not because it's 'popular' these days). I respect the skill and the profession, but I don’t do it myself. I used to try out my hand in it though precisely because it was popular, but that was like nine years ago; I quickly realized I wasn’t any good at holding a camera. You drink tea and coffee on a regular basis. I don’t drink tea and I probably drink coffee 1-2 times a week only.

Gore generally makes you laugh. I try not to laugh at it because I know artists spend a fuckton of time working on making it look legitimate (not related to gore but I felt bad when a bunch of fans called out Bryan Cranston’s bald cap in the El Camino movie, especially knowing that Greg Nicotero, AKA dude who works on the makeup in The Walking Dead, was in the team who made the cap. They did what they could and it highkey looks pretty good, but some fans are just brutal); but if the gore was intentionally corny or bad, then I might laugh.

You basically write down everything because you're afraid you'll forget. Yep, that’s why my Notes app is a list of the most random shit. You're a 'highschool drop-out'. No, I graduated. ^And you're currently working towards your GED. We don’t have that here; I don’t actually know what that means. Am open to anyone explaining it to me! Hahaha You don't really care what anyone thinks about you. Of course I care. But it only matters most when the opinions come from the people close to me. You Tweet excessively and shamelessly. I was definitely more obsessed before (I would probably do 150-200 tweets a day and the website would usually kick me out for an hour for tweeting too much). But I mellowed down over the years when I realized making Twitter my life was a horrible habit and that I needed to get off my laptop lol. I still have the app open all day long, but I do more lurking than posting tweets.

It bothers you that almost every statement on this thing begins with 'you'. It’s supposed to be an are-we-alike survey so I don’t see why that trend should be a problem. Winter is your favorite season. Which is weird because I’ve never experienced it. But based on everyone’s stories about how winter is in their area, it sounds beautiful. You know every word to Badlands by Bruce Springsteen. I have never heard a single note of that song. ^And you're not ashamed to admit it. c: You're afraid to go to sleep most nights. Nah. I’m RELIEVED to sleep every night, especially after a long day lmao You have a blog and you're not afraid to use it. :D This is my blog. I’m not afraid to use it but I definitely am cautious about anyone in real life finding out about it. 'Cheesy', 'dorky', 'weird' and 'freaky' are all terms that apply to you. I’m sure everyone identifies with at least one of these words. You are not religious. That I am not. There was a very VERY brief moment when I was ~17 that I went back to my Catholic roots but that fizzled out quickly once I got to college. ^You are spiritual. No. You can't resist making your mom jokes. They’re old, cheap, and unfunny. Except for the White Chick ones HAHAHA ^Or 'that's what she said' jokes. These are even worse. You have a minor obsession with travel-sized objects. Not really. Hades is a BAMF. <3 Like, Percy Jackson-Hades? Idk, I’ve never seen the movie. ^You actually know who Hades is. (Lawlz.) ^ That’s the only Hades I know. You plan on getting two kittens and naming them Hades and Apollo. I don’t plan on getting kittens, and boy these statements are starting to get real specific that no one else is most likely to relate to them lmao. Serial killers never cease to both amaze and fascinate you. I mean I don’t glorify them in the way you just worded it, but I am interested in reading about them. You have a thing for anything vintage or gothic. Before, I guess. Not so much nowadays. You don't have a lot of patience for stupid people. For stupid drivers, mainly. You tell your fair share of racist jokes. ??? This is one of your are-we-alikes????????? You think neck tattoos are sexyy. I find them neither sexy nor unsexy, but I do inwardly cringe because I always imagine just how much it would have hurt to have had it made, especially tattoos on the throat. You want a mosh pit at your wedding. :D Hell no. 14 year old, punk rocking, headbanging Robyn may have wanted that, but I’m so glad she grew up over the years. The Black Cat by Edgar Allen Poe made you cry. I don’t think I’ve ever read it. You get showtunes stuck in your head on a daily basis. I don’t like that kind of music. You eat emo kids for breakfast. Ok now this is just awful. ^And then follow up with a helping of scene kids for lunch. What the hell does eating emo and scene kids even supposed to mean? You secretly want to become a zombie-human hybrid. I’ve seen enough The Walking Dead to not want this scenario for myself. You strongly believe in peace through superior firepower. No.  You hate hippies. Also no. You actually take the time to look up words you don't know the meanings to. Sure. Googling literally takes five seconds, sometimes fewer. You have a habit of calling everything 'ridiculous'. I like using it as an adverb but I wouldn’t call it a habit.

You love Skwisgaar from Metalocalypse. :D Never heard of both of those things. You wish to invest in a pair of plaid pants. Not my style. You love scaring people--literally and figuratively. Not really. You hate the Fourth of July. I don’t celebrate it so I don’t have reason to hate it. You get excited over new pens and notebooks. That’s being a college student for ya.

^And basically any other kind of art supplies. I guess, but pens and notebooks excite me most. You have a thing for Mustangs. (The car, not the horse.) No. In the Philippines, Mustangs are the most basic of luxury cars so I’ve stopped being impressed when I see them around hahaha. You shamelessly jam to 'Don't Stop Believing' every chance you get. No. You think boundaries are overrated. :D No, they’re necessary. You rarely drink soda. I hate the feeling when it goes down my throat. You always procrastinate until the very last possible minute. For certain work that I particularly don’t like doing. Your favorite font on Microsoft Word is 'calibri'. It’s far from my favorite. You enjoy talking in various fake accents. I can’t do accents. The only time you ever thought Brad Pitt was sexy was when he was in 'Troy' I haven’t seen much of his stuff but I find him very attractive in general. You can make the fuck out of some brownies. c: I don’t bake. You don't do well with change. Sometimes. You always listen to music before going to sleep. I don’t; I find it too loud. You thought this was gay. Ugh, this is awful. ^And you now want to lodge a battle axe into my brain. I’m not THAT violent.

#survey #surveys #tbh ur better off not taking this

[0bfvscate]

Bright Movie

Screaming ‘We’re broken people now’ for every minor inconvenience is now an inside joke btwn me and my friends

Will Smith talks to his unnamed wife about the fairy at their bird feeder for a solid five minutes. I clocked it. Nothing happens in that entire scene. It’s just two people standing at their counter talking about the fairy in their bird feeder.

Will Smith goes outside and it is like the director is interrupting his own movie to tell me about how much he loves Boyz n the Hood

WHY ARE HIS NEIGHBORS HAVING A COOKOUT AT 7AM!?

Almost everyone in this movie is either a cop or a hilarious throwback to depictions of gang violence in 90′s tv and cinema

At one point a character actually turns to Will Smith and says “Yeah, they’re gangbanging up at Altamira like it’s 1999.”

It was at that moment that I paused the movie to google the director and discovered he directed Training Day (2001)

Not surprising to learn in the middle of a movie  so dated I could have used it to do the dude’s horoscope

"I wish you weren’t a cop. Everybody hates cops.” Hey David Ayer this is a movie about fairies not Training Day 2. How about you spend a little more dialogue explaining why Will Smith’s daughter needs to go to Grandma’s house, anyway?

Five minute exchange between Will Smith and Jakoby about how orcs can smell basically anything, from lies to sexual frustration. It was at this point that I wondered who was shipping the two leads.

Worldbuilding in this movie is nothing but exposition and news clips, but there is one scene where they go into ‘Elf Town’ and we learn that all elves are rich, because..............................

All orcs are discriminated against because they sided with the Dark Lord 2,000 years ago. “Wait a minute,’ I said to myself. “Does this take place in Middle Earth?”

The movie continues without answering this question, or explaining how the Dark Lord differs from Sauron in any way

In fact, there is no evidence within the film the Dark Lord isn’t Sauron, which really makes me want to see the gritty urban reboot of Hobbiton

While we’re talking about Hobbiton, where is the rest of Middle earth in relation to Modern Day LA? And how did magic influence colonial expansionism?

Everybody hates Jakoby to the point of violence and wants Will Smith to distance himself from him to prove he’s one of the Guys. Will Smith plays a very good Racist Who Doesn’t Think of Himself as Racist

Will Smith stops the car in front of a full-on beating, turns to Jakoby, and asks him what comes first; the Police Department, or other Orcs. This is terrifying and watching Jakoby stutteringly swear his loyalty to the cops makes it worse.

The movie basically acts like this scene never happens again after this point. Will Smith sort of redeems himself by the end of this movie, but not by apologizing or recognizing his mistakes.

David Ayer is at my door, knocking, asking me if I liked Dirty Harry.

One of the best scenes in this movie is watching the LAPD talk down a man covered head to toe in mud, swinging a sword, and screaming bout prophecies. I feel like this is the kernal of idea that the whole movie sprung from, and if the rest of the film started there and built on it, it would have been AMAZING.

Unfortunately, it turned into one of the weaker parts of the movie. This character does one more mysterious thing before he is revealed as just another stock character from a cop drama, this one being the position of a low-level urban disturbance. David Ayer shows his inexperience with real people like this by not ever explaining what’s actually wrong with him. The character is part of some secret magic club that everyone talks about as being sssuuUUUuuper important, but we literally never see them again.

A shoot out happens.

Tikka the Elf is introduced. She wears overalls, does backflips and doesn’t speak English. David Ayer breaks into my house, hits the pause button, and tells me much he loved Milla Jonovich in the Fifth Element

Tikka can only move by backflipping or being physically carried from place to place

The audience is introduced to the Magic Mcguffin that will carry the plot from here on out. It seemed a little silly, but the non-powered casts’ response to it feels very authentic. Their response is exactly why stories like this persist.

Unfortunately, this scene is also used to show why the Mcguffin is so difficult to wield, and the ensuing chase scene instantly stops making sense

One member of the antagonist raiding party grabs the Mcguffin in order to bring it back to his employer and not only disintegrates, but takes out three people in his cohort as it’s happening.

The Mcguffin can barely be transported safely

In Repo Man (1984), the Mcguffin is equally powerful and equally dangerous, and part of the plot is that absolutely nobody wants it. I feel like this would have been a better story to use at the foundation then Training Day or Escape from New York, which the writing team seemed to be drawing from

There’s also a convenient excuse to keep the cast within an accessible range to the plot, otherwise they would catch a plane to Argentina or something

There’s an effort to make elves seem scary, as if making them scary is a deconstruction in and of itself. It’s like the past seven Tolkien movies didn’t establish that Elves are killing machines who are against genocide by the grace of God

Orcs threaten to kill them even though the text of the movie says they should be honorbound to protect them

A prophecy gets brought up again and the soundtrack acts like that’s a big deal, even though we have no idea what the prophecy is and we’ve been following boring gangland violence for over an hour

Chicken Tikka is sick, dying and speaks English

It’s a good thing she is, because the plot was at a complete standstill

David Ayer is watching the Fifth Element on my computer next to me while I try to focus on his film

So we go back to the house with the underdeveloped anti-magic cult/gang and Noomi Rapace is playing Chicken Tikka’s abusive ex-girlfriend even though the script identifies her as her sister. I have to wonder where the decision to sex up this interaction was, and why they didn’t just have them be ex-lovers since that’s clearly what everybody on set wanted.

Will Smith reveals himself as the only person in this film who can use the Mcguffin

Ok

At the end of the movie Jakoby is super excited about being a part of a prophecy that I still don’t know. I’ll never know.

Super long, awkward comedy scene in a hospital that doesn’t advance the plot and doesn’t feel natural

Where was the editor

Was there an editor

Oh god finally we’re at the end of the movie and complaining about the events of the movie being edited for public consumption, but as they’re falling quiet and accepting the doldrums of everyday life, they see Tikka in the crowd and the end credit music starts

IDK why that was shot as some kind of touching and poignant scene. We’ve known for thirty minutes now that she survived.

Usually in movies like this, as the protagonist is settling back into their everyday life, we see a glimpse of the wonders behind the veil to offer hope and excitement for future adventures

But this is a world without a masquerade, so there is no veil, and we know that magic is still alive and well in this world

In conclusion, this movie is great to get drunk to and scream at with your friends

#bright #netflix bright #urban fantasy #fantasy #low fantasy #long post #review #sporking

[tearlessrain]

so this turned into Scorpion King: Book of Souls Liveblog Part 1, because I got started late. witness a bunch of people trying to make one man’s considerable hotness singlehandedly carry an entire hour and a half long movie with very limited success under the cut.

I do want to state right up front that there’s only one reason I’m watching this and that reason is that for some reason zach mcgowan is the protagonist, so I’m not really up to date on the whole mummy/scorpion king franchise, the last one I saw was the one with all the jackal dudes and that was a while ago. so I have no idea what’s going on.

oh good they’re just going to town with the exposition, very thoughtful

so if the sword was forged in the fires of hell by anubis then who the heck did they fight when they were taking on the jackal headed dudes because I kinda assumed

are these two series actually related or

holy shit this is so Extra already look at this shit

y’all this is my jam I am living right now

also as people following my art blog may note, I am a huge fan of black and gold aesthetics. this movie is really just ticking off all my boxes right off the bat, it’s terrible, but five stars.

they’re REALLY going to town with the exposition

sword forged in the fires of hell that condemns souls to “the neverending darkness” and must be somehow destroyed... are we talking about anubis or sauron here.

this is just lord of the rings, but bad and with a sword. lord of the sword.

okay prologue is over and some dudes have smashed their way into a tomb. if the last however many mummy movies have taught me anything it’s that this might potentially be a bad idea

I love how they’re just not even setting up any of the characters we’re just diving right in I’m getting strong “yeah you all know the drill by now” vibes here

#squadgoals

really though the gal on the left is pretty badass, she hasn’t done or said a single thing but I respect her and her bootleg Xena vibe

and like shoutout for putting at least one actual black guy in egypt I guess

so I guess the one in the middle is... psychic or something? not that “hey if you plunder this blatantly cursed tomb it might be bad” requires psychic powers to know but

I mean that giant black sarcophagus they found recently in real life turned out fine I’m sure this will be great go nuts dude

uh oh it’s the fang of sauron anubis

oh that doesn’t seem good, but it’s actually the better option since for a second there I thought there were pulling a “black guy dies first” in ancient goddamn egypt

wait we’re still doing exposition okay the narrator is back. hi narrator I missed you.

look  I know it’s campy and all but can we take a sec to unironically appreciate how wicked COOL this guy looks with his glowing eyes and crap. this movie is just so satisfying to look at, every single shot has been peak aesthetic

“SEND THE BIRD” and then it’s actually just a regular bird that was anticlimactic

HOLY GREENSCREEN BATMAN

holy FUCK WE’RE ONLY JUST NOW AT THE TITLE SEQUENCE WHAT

okay I guess now we’re going to ACTUALLY start the movie, third time’s a charm

and we’re off to a fantastic start my friends

and judging by the choices of the cameraman in this scene I can tell they’re trying desperately to distract me from the fact that the dialogue sounds like it was generated by a neural network that was fed several dozen mediocre fantasy novels.

it’s working.

I am being personally attacked. god.

oh no some people on horses are coming I assume from the background music that this is a bad thing

OH it’s bootleg Xena and her merry band of deeply mediocre extras okay

I understand the adorable small child’s father must die but must it be at the hands of the worst mediocre extra. seriously he’s been on screen for five seconds and I already hate him.

I guess the protagonist’s name is Matthias, other writers might have let us know that when he was introduced, but these guys know damn well that it literally does not matter what his name is. they could have had her ride up and be like “we’re looking for a man named Jebediah Switchboard McDougal” and anyone who’s voluntarily watching this movie in the first place would just be like “that’s fair”

yeah just in case you weren’t sold after the blacksmithing or the hunting scenes, let’s have him just singlehandedly take down half a dozen ninjas in less than a minute. just fuck me up

oh shit they shot him

oh shit they shot him again

they’re just boromir-ing the hell out of this dude

and yet he’s still going to town on those ninjas

NO NOT THE ADORABLE CHILD WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

I’ve decided I don’t like bootleg Xena after all

it’s a good thing he’s got three arrows embedded in his torso because that is the worst cage ever. it’s made of like. bamboo and string. have you seen this man’s arms how did they expect that to effectively contain him.

whoa it’s... BOOTLEG XENA 2.0: GOOD GUY EDITION

or not. she didn’t free him or anything she just killed his original captors and then took off with the cage with him in it

no I think she is good she’s... healing him? by... getting scorpions to sting the hell out of him? has the FDA approved this.

I’m sorry I can’t take this scene seriously the background music is way too close to the “ooga chakas” from hooked on a feeling. also the sheer degree to which they’re pulling a reverse male gaze here is kinda overshooting sexy straight into unintentionally funny. I mean I know this is the entire reason I’m watching this insanity but like even I think this is excessive.

“the scorpion king escaped” that is giving him way too much credit he was stolen by the superior bootleg Xena.

and in case NONE of the previous things drew your attention away from the lack of a plot, here’s just straight up nudity because why not.

I thought I had a thing for zach mcgowan but I’ve got nothing on this cameraman.

also there’s some kind of “reluctant chosen one king” thing going on I guess but like they literally couldn’t have put less effort into it

I haven’t heard people this concerned about what the moon is doing since I left evergreen state college

aaand apparently he can see and speak to... ghosts now? ghosts that spit thousands of arrows from the sky? know what why not I’ll accept literally anything at this point.

oh they aren’t ghosts they’re just really sneaky dudes

it’s a shame jebediah switchboard’s one and only weakness is extremely shitty cages because he sure ends up in them a lot

hmmmm we’re getting some uncomfortable racist undertones and misogyny in one go okay. not worse than I would expect from a movie of this.... caliber, but I’m not thrilled, especially since this whole situation has yet to have a single actual point to it.

actually okay it’s veered quickly away from “rudyard kipling-esque Vague Native Tribe Encounter” and into... some kind of weird mad max thing mixed with a D&D campaign that’s gone wildly off the rails. but they’re on thin fucking ice.

I really appreciate that matthias is approaching this situation with exactly the same strategy with which I play skyrim, which is “sneak up on everybody one at a time even though there are a ton of them and that shouldn’t be possible, shoot them all with a bow you looted off one of them”

and now they’re just... suddenly free and back on their horses, then matthias had a vague fake deep exchange with the leader and they rode away. there literally was no reason for that entire interlude. nothing happened, there wasn’t character development or anything. this godforsaken movie could have been ten minutes shorter.

“the plot is down there, just past that greenscreen” is what I heard there.

I’m sorry I’m dying for some reason all I’m getting from this visual is “wait are you saying the panel is all the way on the other side of the convention center” like the costumes are just mediocre enough that in bright light they don’t look like they’re actually actors in a movie.

the moon’s rising. but I can’t for the life of me remember why that’s important. she’s got some kinda egyptian steampunk millennium rod though.

okay the lenses must align with the cipher. did anyone mention a cipher before who knows.

good job matthias you solved the moon puzzle and your prize is a metric ton of blue jello.

all right through the jello portal they go. to find the book of souls, probably.

in this case I actually do need more exposition. are we just not gonna explain ancient egyptian jello narnia. no. okay.

stop forcing zach mcgowan to be quippy I know all the cool movies are doing it but this is neither the time nor the place nor the actor for it.

oh my god they’re being attacked by a rock golem thing and I don’t think a screenshot can fully capture how bad the cgi is. not of the rock monster itself, but trying to integrate it with the real actors and set pieces was... oof.

okay a mostly naked woman has risen out of some nearby water and called off the rock golem with no explanation. why not.

neither of them looks into this so much as confused as hell

honestly, same.

oh god no they’re trying to make the rock golem be the comic relief this movie never needed. please don’t. you can barely handle writing the plot relevant dialogue now’s not the time to get fancy. I take it back, trying to make zach mcgowan be quippy was actually somehow not the worst option.

she IS the book of souls!

okay that’s a pretty cool visual I’ll give them that. digging the iridescent moon tattoo.

and that seems like a reasonable stopping point because I started this kind of late and have to get up for class in the morning. tune in tomorrow for, I assume, more of zach mcgowan running around in various states of undress while absolutely nothing coherent happens around him.

#tearless liveblogs #to be completely honest I'm not even sure what it is about this guy #like as you are all painfully aware I tend to lean way more toward androgyny but like #apparently I'll also take 'the concept of a panther but applied to a human being' #seriously though he cannot do the quippy marvel thing just accept that and don't try to force it

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

YEAH ALL RIGHT KIDS I’M IN MY JAMMIES LET’S TALK ABOUT INFINITY WAR

i want to start by informing you that re: T’Challa, I just have John Mulaney’s voice in the back of my head going “that is some racist-ass bullshit”

ALSO

What happened to Shuri?????? DID SHURI MAKE IT STOP SHOWING ME THE GODDAMN PURPLE GRAPE!!! DID???? SHURI???? MAKE IT????

and honestly the opening shot being of our One True Bae, Heimdall, dying?? they literally lost me in that moment. that exact moment i was just like nope. EDIT: also, I honestly thought that entire opening scene was a Loki Illusion for...the majority of it. Like, honestly and truly, I thought Loki was going to say something Petty and then the illusion would fade away and Thor and Heimdall would have been light years away.

The whole opening scene, carried by the stellar acting of Hiddleston and Hemsworth and Elba--god. My emotional brain hates it but my objective brain is very impressed because above all else in this movie, I think you were really primed to root for Thor’s journey. 

(i feel like i need to stop myself here because I’m not inclined to address Loki’s death, which was horrifying and emotionally draining, because there was so. much. death. happening in this movie, that it started to feel meaningless. Like they stuck a bunch of action figures in a bag and whoever got pulled out died. I wish I could honestly say I believed that the point the Russos were trying to drive home was “death comes for us all with no reason and also please understand the scale of genocide and what that means” but really it just feels like they went “who can we kill off that people will care about but NOT piss them off so badly they won’t come to the next one?”)

Literally fuck thanos dude I don't care how SAD you are after killing a bunch of people, fuck OFF, I got really tired of seeing Dramatic Tears trailing down his cheeks like. russos. i don’t give a shit. stop trying to make thanos seem...human or sympathetic, he’s a stupid fucking grape. we thought you’d say that, you stupid fucking grape. 

this was something that kept irritating me, honestly. I thought the shot of Thanos’ face while Gamora was falling was wholly unnecessary. It made the impact of her death about him, and not about the fact that Gamora was dying and that she had people who genuinely love her in a HEALTHY way who her death would impact (also? the scene where Quill is going to kill her? oh my fucking god. my god, that scene WRECKED me, the Guardians were simultaneously some of the funniest and most lighthearted parts of the film and also the most emotionally devastating.) 

Also, I literally said “what the fuck” out loud when I saw red skull. I was also not alone in the theatre. so. there’s that. (and, still: what the fuck?)

Peter Dinklage??? In vaguely medieval roles what's up with that, dude?? I don’t remember the name of Thor’s axe but when he said it I just had weird GoT flashbacks.

Stephen Strange unironically calling Tony stark a douchebag. Just like. I enjoyed their opening interactions. I enjoyed the fact that Wong and Strange live in the Sanctum together, and that Stephen is the one who has to put on Regular Clothes to go get dinner. Against my will, I like Stephen Strange. BUT STEPHEN STRANGE CALLING TONY A DOUCHEBAG OHOHO THE IRONY

sidebar: Where was Brunnhilde? And Korg??????

Every moment with the guardians in it was the Best Moment. Peter and Peter need to watch movies together. Peter Parker saving Mantis was lovely. Bug-kind to bug-kind

Peter Parker my child why. Why. (Again, this is where the great acting made an impact. Tom Holland is a Delight but also he can really get serious? he was the only character who really got to be afraid of what was happening as he died and that was so impactful)

"It'll kill you" "only if I die" "...yes that's how it works...." basically everything about Thor. His talk with Rocket. “what else do I have to lose?” that meant something. maybe that’s what was wrong with all the deaths? Thor is the only person that we get to see REACT, to move past the initial stage of shock to the reality of him being alone in the universe. Chris Hemsworth did a fantastic job. but also the fact that those two moments happened fairly close together. at times, this movie had a nice balance to it.

Strange saw all the outcomes so he knew how to win like??? he literally said “this is the endgame”. As the only one who could, at the time, see the future, this makes him the most powerful person in this situation. i am not worried at all for the next movie, which is maybe why i’m so grumpy about this one.

ALSO ALSO why...did we not...just Try to cut Thanos’ fucking arm off like this seems like a simple and workable solution. is there some reason this wouldn’t have worked...?

groot. and POOR FUCKING ROCKET CAN WE STOP TAKING HIS TREE??? THANKS

“I am Groot” “I am Steve Rogers” yes thanks I’ll take five

Rocket and Bucky which was everything we all thought it would be

just in general, Rocket. Character growth from a raccoon! Or a rabbit, depending on who you are asking

And we didn’t really get to see Nebula’s character growth, but I feel like everything we saw was believable. It was a believable trajectory and I love what we got to see of her and Gamora.

overall i think i honestly...feel kind of meh about it. there were genuinely funny parts, parts that were emotionally gripping, but I also feel like there was a LOT of loss happening, and it didn’t get time to breathe so it made an impact, specifically with Bucky and Sam. Rhodey looking for Sam could have been even more heartbreaking. Also, Chris Evan can Act. He can do Deep Emotional acting, not just actiony stunt stuff. I’m pretty disappointed we didn’t get like. Two minutes more of this shit sinking in, but maybe it wouldn’t have helped. I think what’s most upsetting is that these incredible characters technically died, but they were all wiped away so quickly, and the last shot of the movie was of fucking Thanos, that it kind of feels disrespectful. Is it masochistic of me? I don’t give a shit about Thanos living his Best Life in a hut somewhere. I want to see Okoye rushing around to try and find Shuri because someone has to tell her that her brother is gone, I want M’Baku there telling Shuri she will always be safe, and M’Baku stepping in to lead Wakanda. I want Clint, frantically calling Natasha to see if she’s still alive, Natasha freaking out are the kids safe???, I honestly WANT TO SEE STEVE CRY BECAUSE HE JUST LOST SAM AND BUCKY, THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE TO HIM IN THE WORLD, BECAUSE IT’S OKAY FOR MEN TO CRY, I want to see the IMPACT, all that time you WASTED showing me THANOS CRYING and you could have given that time to characters that actually matter? don’t come at me with that shit, Russos. 

oh, also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t say: THADDEUS ROSS GET FUCKED

#infinity war spoilers #infinity war #my stuff #i gots feelings #up next: au ideas #honestly i didn't hate it as much as i thought i would #thanks phoenixyfriend for sort of mentally prepping me #by telling me to go in with my comics brain #i just #there were some really strong moments #i just think that there were some questionable editing choices and i feel like that's saying something #when your movie is over two hours long #if the toms and the chrises hadn't pulled out some serious acting chops i would have more issues #but like have you seen snowpiercer?? #let chris evans cry okay? he's a really good actor LET HIM ACT #phew i feel better

[eldritchsurveys]

1036.

5k Survey LXXVI

3901. What is the most annoying tv ad? >> Implying that they aren’t all annoying? 3902. If you died, how would you hope others would remember you? >> I’m not concerned about that right now. I’m still on “are people even going to care?”, so. 3903. Name 2 questions that you will most likely never say 'no' to: >> This reminds me of how Sparrow and I have “body snatcher” questions -- like, questions you’d ask if you’re suspicious that the other person has been possessed or replaced by a lookalike impostor or whatever. And one of hers for me is “do you want Red Robin?” because I never say no to Red Robin, lmao. 3904. What is the softest part of your body? >> I don’t know, man. My organs??? 3905. What family do you want to see in place of the Osbournes when they finally stop doing their show? >> ---

3906. If you could pick 3 bands to go on tour together who would they be? >> I don’t care. We can’t go to concerts right now anyway. 3907. What is a main differance between western and eastern philospohy? >> Location. 3908. Would you be fooled by Joe/Josephine Millionaire? >> Who? 3909. Do you believe Michael Jackson does innoprpriate things at his Neverland Ranch? Like what? >> I don’t care. I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care. When he died the first thing I thought was, “oh, good, then I won’t have to hear about this shit anymore”. That’s how much I do not care. 3910. What do you think of gov. Ryan who cleared out Illinois' death row? >> This means nothing to me. 3911. Would you want a $500 gift certificate to: Kmart or Target? Target. Kmart doesn’t even exist in this area anymore. Macy's or Hot Topic? Macy’s. As much as I nostalgically love Hot Topic, let’s be real -- the clothing quality is shit, not to mention that they really don’t sell the same shit I used to love about them anymore. Border's Books or Spencer Gifts? oh, I miss Borders! :’( Victoria's Secret or Frederick's of Hollywood? I don’t wear lingerie, so I guess you’ll be giving that Frederick’s gift certificate to Sparrow. 3912. What do you think of this website: www.blackpeopleloveus.com/ >> Oh, that’s hilarious. I’m glad I actually went to see what it was, considering I’m usually lazy about that on surveys, lol. 3913. Man vs Elephant. A zookeeper was treating a constipated elephant. He gave her too much laxitive. Suddenly everything exploded out onto the zookeeper. He was knocked to the ground where he hit his head on a rock and got knocked out. There he suffocated under a pile of elephant dung. True story. Is it a funy story? If yes, what is funny about it? Why is it so taboo to laugh at death? >> I can see the humour in it -- I love ridiculous death stories -- but the concept is too gross for me to think about. And it’s taboo to laugh at death because people often feel like if you laugh at something you can’t also take it seriously when need be -- which isn’t true at all, in my experience. I laugh at death jokes and funny death stories without fail, but if someone told me someone they loved just died in [insert ridiculous way here] I’m not going to fucking laugh in their face about it. (People are welcome to laugh if I die in a ridiculous way, though. I’d probably do it on purpose just to add some levity to the situation.) 3914. What are your favorite five things from this list: alternate realities, animals, astronomy, birds, camus, cats, cheap trick, cocaine, cooking, costumes, dancing, elvis, gambling, greta garbo, james dean, jeff buckley, joy division, marilyn monroe, mixed drinks, moody blues, morrissey, mozart, my bloody valentine, orbital, pizza, playing flute, prince, radiohead, rummy 500, scrabble, table tennis, talk talk, van morrison, writing >> Alternate realities, astronomy, dancing, James Dean, Joy Division. Also mixed drinks. Preferably while listening to Joy Division and looking at the stars. 3915. Do you have to read lots to be able to write well? >> I think it helps. 3916. Vanilla ice. Everyone loved him, suddenly everyone hated him. What was the deal?? >> I’m sure there was a story, but I certainly don’t care enough to know it. 3917. If you could kick one person out of the grammies who would it be (Avril, Eminem, etc)? >> --- 3918. Studies have revealed that when sending out a resume a person has a 50% higher chance of getting a responce if their name is white sounding than if it is black sounding. What do you think about this? Why do companies respond this way? >> I don’t know what these “studies” are, whether they actually existed, or whether they were even reputable (or repeatable...), but in the case that that does happen, it wouldn’t surprise me. Like, racism is a real thing that has real repercussions, lmao. We been knew. 3919. Should Big Fat Greek Wedding really be a Big Fat Greek sitcom? >> I don’t know??? 3920. What are you addicted to? >> Nothing. 3921. What fascinates you? >> A lot of things. 3922. What is fascinating about you? >> I’m not sure. 3923. Personality wise, is anything the same for all human beings and if so, what? >> I don’t know, and I wouldn’t dare to speculate. 3924. What kind of a contest woud you have a shot at winning? >> I’m not sure. 3925. You see a dirty punk kid who had a giant cowboy hat on who is rolling his own cigarettes. Your impression? >> “hah, check out Mini Odin over here”, probably. 3926. What would you never want to have more than 2 of? >> Ears??? I don’t know, dude. 3927. Is there a movie you just could not finish watching? What and why? >> Yeah, there’s quite a few movies like that. Beyond the Black Rainbow was one. It was just too fucking esoteric for me. 3928. Is there anyone that you love and want to be around for no explainable reason? >> Well, I mean, there’s a reason... it’s because Can Calah is wonderful and makes me feel good to be around. 3929. Would you go to times square for new years? >> Fuck no. I used to live like a 15-minute walk from Times Square and I still wouldn’t go on NYE. That is literal pure hell and I really don’t know why people do that to themselves. Watching it on TV at home with people you like (or even just by yourself/with your dog) and some snacks and a bottle of champagne is the true ideal. 3930. Do you think that there are to many signs blocking up the scenery? >> Like... street signs??? Is this a reference to something 3931. Did video really kill the radio star? >> *shrug* 3932. What was your favorite atari game? >> I’ve never played Atari. 3933. what is your favorite neon color? >> Neon green. 3934. Do you get depressed eveytime it rains? If yes, why? >> No, although a rainy day may exacerbate an already gloomy mood (I am absolutely solar-powered). 3935. 'The more you admit that all your actions are robotic, the less robotic you are.' What does Tim leary mean by this? Do you agree or disagree and why? How much of your actions do you admit are robotic? >> I personally don’t know what the fuck he’s on about, but all those “LSD gurus” said some weird shit like that on a regular basis. It was part of their charm, I guess (and definitely fit in with all the counterculture stuff going on in that era). 3936. Are we not men? >> Well, I’m not. I’m a spider. 3937. Is it easy to be you? Would being someone else make it any easier? >> It is very much not easy to be me. Being me is often so exhausting and energy-consuming that I can’t do anything else some days. I don’t know what it is like to be anyone else, though, so I can’t comment on that. I’m doing my best with what I’ve got. 3938. Why are sex religion and politics such taboo subjects? >> Because people usually have very strong, deep-set beliefs and opinions about those things, which can lead to strife if everyone in the room is not in agreement. 3939. Is there really a differance between republicans and democrats? >> Yes. Otherwise the divide wouldn’t exist in the first place. I would allow that the differences are changeable (as the foundational policies of both parties have shifted over time), but they still exist either way. 3940. Imagine someone has a great personality, sense or humor, family and job. they also really really like you a lot. Would you consider dating them if they: were fat? limped? were a midget? had hiv? were paralized in one arm? had a glass eye? had only 6 months to live?

3941. What makes you experiance nostalgia? >> I mean, a lot of things. 3942. What do you remember about these historical figures: Woodrow Wilson? Hellen Keller? Christopher Columbus? 3943. Out of the above three figures, one is a huge racist, one is a socialist and one is a slave trader. Can you guess which is which? Racist: socialist: slave trader: 3944. Betcha they didn't tell you that in american history. Wilson, Keller and Columbus are painted as heros, impossibly good, ideal people. Why are so many things ommitted from and lied about in american history text books? >> *sigh* 3945. Do you drink super caffinated energy drinks? >> I don’t drink energy drinks, and I avoid caffeine levels higher than that which is in a cup of black tea. 3946. eminem or moby? >> Eminem. 3947. spongebob or the animanicas? >> I’ve never seen the Animaniacs, but I don’t much care for Spongebob, so I guess I’d watch Animaniacs if I had to choose. 3948. Why do people rush to grow up only to wish they were a child again? >> Social pressure, and then disillusionment. *shrug* My best guess. That’s not the experience I had/am having, so I can’t speak from experience. 3949. Why do people sacrifice their health to obtain money and then use the money to restore their health? >> Because capitalism is hell. 3950. Jetsons or Flintstones? >> I don’t have a preference. They kind of strike me as the same show just set in wildly opposite time periods, lol.

#surveys #survey #5000 question survey #not for reblogging *glare*

[eeveelutionsforequality]

Am I the only one who honestly don't care what an idol says? There's far more pressing things to worry about, like the hurricane, the politics, etc. than WORDS. I'm sorry for venting, but tumblr oughta stop focusing on one specific subject and focus on doing what actually does matter. My family was in the path of the freaking hurricane and what do I see on my dash? An internet war over a stupid word that's only relevant because they want it to be relevant.

Yeah, I avoided the PewDiePie controversy until we got this ask, and then I decided to quickly brush up on it so that I didn't say something stupid.

From what I can gather, a character/player was shooting at him, so he called them the worst word that came to his mind, then immediately said "sorry" and corrected it to "asshole". Then everybody lost their collective shit.

I personally have never said "nigger" as an insult, in fact I don't use the word myself at all, not because I think people shouldn't, I just see no use for it for me - I don't think it's a good insult choice because being someone who says "nigger" is considered one of the worst things you can be, so being someone who says it is worse of an insult than it is, and I don't say it casually because there are plenty of other words that serve that purpose, I don't need to use a controversial one when I have "bro", "fam", "homies" etc. I also, on a moral level, don't like it used as an insult - I wouldn't say it's inherently racist, like, it doesn't mean the same thing in people's brains any more and I get that, like it seems to mean "really really really bad word" now instead of "I hate black people" to a lot of the people who say it like that, so I wouldn't say that saying it inherently means the person has racist thoughts/bias/etc; but the word is given that weight and strength because of what it used to mean and how it used to be used (and how it still is used by racists), it's got a lot of connotations and bad vibes.

You gotta remember that PewDiePie is living in England and a lot of the people talking about it are American - it's much rarer to hear the word over here (in Britain), from what I gather, and in my experience it isn't viewed with quite the same weight and the same intent isn't applied as heavily to it, it's just "edgy bad word" and not really associated with black people in their heads. I'm not saying that's the right way to think about the word - I think those people should be more aware that, while they don't see the connotations, other people will still read them into what they say - but there are a lot of people applying intent to what Pewds said and ignoring the fact that he's specified it was just the worst word he could think of at the time. PewDiePie was using it in the "I'm really fucking angry, what's the worst word I can think of to say" way, and not in the "I'm a racist" way - again, I'm not saying he should have used it, I don't think he should've but I also don't think it's fair to start attributing intent where there was none.

There are also a lot of people who are saying that you don't blart out things unless you say them in your daily life, but that's just not true - it's likely he sees and hears it relatively often, maybe every few days, because he's a gamer and because it is discussed a lot in a political context, so it's going to be embedded in his brain as "really bad word, don't say this" and sometimes you get angry enough that the "don't say this" part snaps. Honestly, if he's only snapped and said it now, once,after so many years of being a gamer, he definitely doesn't say it casually off YouTube because he would have slipped up and said it a lot more. You really can't tell how often someone says a word by whether or not it slips out one time, but generally if you've reserved a word for "literally the angriest I can possibly be", chances are you don't just casually say it every five minutes because it'd lose its punch real fast - and he even said in his video that he doesn't like the word, that he thinks it's dumb to say it. I think that's probably the most egregious claim people are making against him, because it's pure theorizing and armchair psychology, and not actually founded in the situation or evidence.

Another reason I see a lot of people bring it up is they're concerned about Adpocalypse 2.0, but as Philly D explained, Adpocalypse 1.0 wasn't caused just by the "Pewds is a Nazi" lies and misrepresentations, it was also caused by videos of people literally dying. It had been brewing for a while and there really isn't much YouTube can do to make it worse for creators atm anyway, so people need to chill out and look at this more rationally - chances are this will only hurt Pewds and maybe other gamers (games filing copyright shit against him is setting a bad precedent that, despite generally agreeing that lets plays are beneficial and good publicity and therefore okay, game devs can now punish and potentially destroy the livelihood of lets players over the gamer breaking some unknown rule about bad words - it's like "Oh yeah sure, you can do this, it's cool" *person does it* "Wait, did you say a word I didn't like? I changed my mind. You can't do it.") But at the moment, it's just his channel put at risk.

I think that's why it's getting more attention than the serious issues, like 1) people want to fight against racism, and they see this as racism and read all sorts of things between the lines that just aren't there or aren't certain, and 2) they're worried about the impact this could potentially have on their livelihoods. What Pewds did was, in my opinion, wrong, but it really didn't warrant this reaction, just a "Dude, that's not cool, just say 'cunt'." kind of reaction, not a "HE'S LITERALLY HITLER... AGAIN" kind of reaction. At the end of the day, you're right, it's just some gamer saying some word, there are giant storms and terrorism and political turmoil and more important things to deal with than one guy saying a bad word once.

But this is the internet and we all wanna vent our opinions and share our thoughts, and I don't think I know enough about hurricanes or flooding to be of much use in that regard.

~ Vape

#Mod Vaporeon

[redgoldblue]

Phase 3 MCU Movie Rankings By Your Humble Host

So I just saw Far From Home finally and then went in the group chat and that somehow culminated in this; a definitive ranking and brief ‘review’ of every phase 3 MCU movie from Civil War (no. 9/10) to Far From Home (no. 5).

No.1. Thor: Ragnarok. I’m sorry Carol and T’Challa but Taika’s got you beat. I mean Korg? Proper Thor? Valkyrie? Proper Loki? Sugar Daddy Jeff Goldblum? I have never enjoyed a superhero movie so much and there’s honestly not a lot of movies full stop that I’ve enjoyed more.

No.2: Captain Marvel. I will admit putting this over Black Panther is entirely subjective and like objectively from a critics stance it should probably be the other way around HOWEVER did BP have reunited wives? A cat that was actually an alien? Baby Nick Fury? Obligatory 90s jokes? Villain Jude Law? Really cool alien characters? I don’t think so!

No. 3: Black Panther. Like i said it’s mostly only below Captain Marvel bc given two things on fairly level footing I am always gonna prefer the more comedic one. However, literally all the major characters in this movie are actually just… really great characters and I’m including T’Challa, Shuri, Nakia, Okoye, Michael, the queen whose name I can’t remember (Ram…?), the lad who led the other tribe whose name I also can’t remember (started with M?), and Martin Freeman’s character in that and that’s a lot of people to successfully develop in one movie so on that alone it would have to be a top-rated one never mind that it was also enjoyable.

No. 4… Antman and the Wasp. The Antman movies are like criminally under appreciated by both critics and the fandom bc again. Great characters (Cassie, Hope, Hank, Scott, Luis, etc.), great relationships between those characters, in this movie especially a REALLY good villain like sure maybe Ghost’s like… power continuity could have been better but otherwise she was terrific, and also your main character getting consistently dunked on by his love interest and her father who’s also his mentor? What more could you want from a movie? Apart from that it be directed by Taika Waititi.

No.5: Far From Home, like… half bc of MJ but also Jake Gyllenhaal and Happy Hogan and Aunt May and Nick Fury. Like maybe the plot wasn’t the best piece of writing Marvel’s ever produced but it was pretty decent and this is the last Infinity Saga movie so they really just had to give us some fluffy fan service and they went over and above that both with the awkward high school romance and with Peter’s storyline about struggling with Being A Hero and Tony’s death and legacy. And also Jake Gyllenhaal.

No. 6: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 - it was sort of a letdown after the first one being probably my favourite phase 2 movie but like. It wasn’t awful. It was pretty fun. It had Baby Groot in it which obviously adds a +10 boost immediately. Gamora and Nebula had some cool scenes. Good conceptual message about rejecting toxic biological family for found family if a little messily executed at points. A guy called Taserface.

No 7: Spider-Man:Homecoming. Again like, it was okay? Obviously as a Spider-Man origin movie it was blown out of the water later on by Into the Spiderverse but that’s a given. I can’t actually remember a whole lot about it but it did properly introduce us to the MCU’s MJ and Aunt May and also Peter himself who is Baby so it gets points for that. Also all the ones from now on are starting to get actually bad and it wasn’t bad so. 7.

No. 8: Endgame. Ooh, putting Endgame above Civil War or Dr Strange. Daring, you may say. To which I say, a) Civil War was terrible, b) Dr Strange was racist and orientalist and I know this without having seen it, and c) Endgame honestly could have been a hell of a lot worse. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t /good/, but it did have some redeeming points - Thor’s storyline once you got rid of the fat jokes was good +we got to see Frigga and Valkyrie again, it was probably Natasha’s second best movie after The Winter Soldier even though she died (or possibly because of it that might have been why they let her have an Actual Personality), Clint had more than two lines even if they did sorta fuck up his Ronin storyline, and Tony’s storyline was also pretty good apart from you know the death. They fucked up Steve and they didn’t give Scott or Carol enough screen time and they didn’t let Nebula kill Thanos but those were their only major mistakes I think so for a 3 hour movie which had to follow Infinity War… it coulda been worse. And actually they did pretty well with Steve for most of it it was just the ending and the bits forced in prior to foreshadow it.

No. 9&10: Civil War and Doctor Strange. I’m merging these partly bc I haven’t seen the latter and so don’t want to independently rate it and partly bc the issues with them are sort of incomparable? Like from what I gather DS had an alright plot and also his sidekick seems cool from later movies it was just the Entirely Avoidable Racism, whereas Civil War was not racist (that I remember) but was just…. a mess. It was a fucking mess, and not in a good way. There’s a reason why the Civil War storyline took up an ENTIRE COMIC RUN and that’s because it’s the sort of plot line that requires an actual proper setup. Also almost everyone was out of character? And for T’Challa that’s because they didn’t know how to write him yet and for Natasha it’s bc she really just doesn’t have a franchise-consistent character but they had no excuse for everyone else??? And the worst part is most of the things that everyone did could have been justified in character, as fandom meta later showed, but they weren’t, again, set up properly. Also I find it hard to separate this from all the fucking fandom ‘Team Cap or Team Tony there’s no such thing as acknowledging maybe they both had points but also both did sucky things’ drama afterwards.

No. 11: Infinity War. Lads, I know you were trying to do your big grand finale movie but you failed… so bad. So bad that you literally had to kill off half your characters to make the next movie bearable. We all knew it would be terrible. We all knew you can’t fit that many characters into one movie. We been knowing. Also they killed off Loki in the first five minutes and wrecked Ragnarok’s entire ending so like……. bad start dudes. They tried to compensate for having too many characters by instead spending too much time on their villain, only somehow they still failed to make him understandable or compelling. They killed off Gamora as well as Loki. The only good part of this movie was that it set up Thor to join the Guardians and even then Endgame had to be there to follow it through. Wait also Peter Dinklage as a giant dwarf. And ‘dude you’re embarrassing me in front of the wizards’ and the scene with Peter and Tony and other Peter on the ship and our 2.5 seconds of Pepperony. But other than that it was just…. terrible. You bombed hard bros.

#Obviously major spoilers for every movie #Marvel #MCU #Marvel Phase 3 #Thor: Ragnarok #Captain Marvel #Black Panther #Antman and the Wasp #Spiderman: Far From Home #Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 #Spiderman: Homecoming #Avengers: Endgame #Captain America: Civil War #Doctor Strange #Avengers: Infinity War #Far From Home #Endgame #Infinity War #Ragnarok #mine #beautiful and sad