#but I needed to say it

[it-is-only-a-novel]

Reminder that it's aphobia if you tell an aspec that they need a partner to be happy.

Yes, even if you told them first that you accept them the way they are, and you're just "expressing concern".

#it's okay not to know about amatonormativity #but you are invalidating them #and that's aphobia #tw aphobia #fuck amatonormativity #amatonormativity #aspec #non partnering #aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #aroace #taging with ace tags because this is for all aspecs who choose to be non partnering #or choose to partner differently #also non aspecs of course #yes I'm preaching to the choir #but I needed to say it #M's post

[theerurishipper]

Ladynoir and (In)Equality

For me personally, the most important thing in any relationship is that both partners are equals in that dynamic. I think that's a reasonable expectation to have. And Ladynoir did fulfill that requirement for me in the first 3 seasons. Even though Ladybug did most of the leadership stuff by making the plans and directing Chat Noir on what to do, it was understood that this was a mutual agreement. They both understood what they were good at, and their dynamic evolved accordingly. Chat Noir was content to follow her lead and Ladybug was content to make the plans and direct Chat Noir.

Season 2 saw the introduction of the inequality that shattered this balanced dynamic between the two, and quite frankly the later seasons only made it worse. It started in Syren, as we all know, where Chat Noir first expressed his displeasure at being left out of the loop when Ladybug was privy to important information that was being kept from him. Of course, Master Fu arrived to barely smooth things over before the issue was dropped for the season and never brought up again. Their dynamic remained as it was, but the cracks began to form here.

The introduction of Ladybug being the Guardian in Season 4 changed this established dynamic, obviously, and Ladybug began to give the Miraculous out to other holders. Keeping Chat Noir out of the loop began to become her MO, and she effectively replaced him with Rena Furtive in all but name. The central conflict of the season was the cracks forming in their relationship because of her new responsibilities and her secret keeping. And the resolution to this, as stated in Kuro Neko and Risk, is that even if he's no longer her partner, she still likes him best.

Now, the previous Ladynoir dynamic was one of equality, where they knew their roles and acted upon them. They were equals, and Ladybug's leadership in their pair was an informal one, one that was mutually agreed upon by them. The introduction of the Guardian role for Ladybug changes this from a mutually agreed upon dynamic to one where Ladybug is, for all intents and purposes, his boss. She is officially his leader, in the sense that if she so wished, he would be obliged to hand his Miraculous over to her. In the sense that she would be well within her rights to replace him if she so desired (which she does do). She is his superior, and he is no more important than the other temporary holders, with the sole exception that he holds his Miraculous permanently (which has now been exacerbated by the fact that all of them are permanent holders now).

Chat Noir received a demotion for no fault of his own, which he did not want, and someone else was promoted to replace him in the position he once occupied. Rena Furtive is Ladybug's special partner. Chat Noir is not Rena Furtive's equal, and he is definitely not Ladybug's equal.

This is not about a woman making more money than a man. She isn't just more successful than him, and this isn't about him being insecure about her being better than him. The problem is that Ladybug is Chat Noir's direct superior, and she has power over him. She has the power to call him when she needs him, and if not him, she'll get someone else. She has the resources to figure out his identity without him being none the wiser. She has the power to replace him if she wishes. Far be it from him to allow her to lead of his own accord, now he is obliged to follow her orders. She has the power to control what he knows and how he acts, and she has the power to keep vital information from him.

None of this is inherently "bad." But when you look at it from the context of them being on a path to a romantic relationship with each other, that's where the problems begin. Two people in a relationship should not have a dynamic where one has so much power over the other. Ladybug has so much power that she is able to slide a third teammate into their partnership and slowly push him away from his role at her side. She, quite unfortunately, can and has abused his trust because she had the resources to do so. The only opportunity he had in Season 4 to make his own choices that were not dictated by Ladybug's rules was when he quit. The final takeaway from this Ladynoir conflict is that Chat Noir is her favorite subordinate now (because Rena Furtive has replaced him), and just because they aren't equals anymore doesn't mean she doesn't want him around.

And, no, this was not corrected in Season 5. Season 5 was a return to their original dynamic, not because Ladybug and Chat Noir worked around this new shift in their relationship to find a way to overcome this new power imbalance. It's because Ladybug's power was forcibly taken away from her by a third party, and the only reason Chat Noir is her special partner again is because there is no one else left. But the end of Season 5 sees everyone come back, as permanent holders no less, and Chat Noir is once again demoted to his role as "just another holder like any other."

With the establishment of the Ladybug and the Black Cat Miraculous as two halves of a duo, equals in power, you'd expect them to be, well, equals. Me being upset about the inequality of these characters isn't with regards to screentime, or my wish for Adrien to be the main character or anything. My wish is for Adrien to be a character of his own. My wish is for the show to stop promoting such unhealthy dynamics as cute and fine. If they had simply made Adrien's role out to be the love interest, if they had just literally made him Ken who is content with just being Barbie's trophy boyfriend from the very beginning, if that was all his role has ever been and was meant to be from the start, I wouldn't be complaining so much. But the one they reduced into the role of Marinette's prize, the one over whom she has so much power, is the abuse victim whose arc is about self-actualization. And it paints a very disturbing picture. That far be it from Chat Noir to expect any kind of equal treatment from Ladybug, he's going to have put aside any discomforts or issues he has with their relationship to settle for being her favorite by virtue of nostalgia.

And it's just... bad, on a narrative level. Despite its ambitious introduction of so many plot points, the focus of this show has always been its romance. The main narrative goal of the series is for Ladybug and Chat Noir to get together. So, when your narrative hinges on these two characters getting together, and you decide to introduce such a power dynamic into the mix, saying "I still like you," isn't the fix that it's cracked up to be. If they are supposed to be the relationship around which the show is built, Chat Noir should be Ladybug's special partner, he should be her equal and not just another holder whom she likes better than everyone else. Ladynoir's relationship is directly tied to their partnership, and their dynamic as partners is the basis for any future romantic relationship between them. Introducing such an inequality between them in their partnership does affect their ability to be able to get together, and not in a good way.

This isn't a bad plot point. I like Ladybug being the Guardian, I like that they didn't just brush off the fact that there would be some changes in their dynamic. What I dislike is the way it was resolved, with Ladybug essentially saying that they would never be equals but she still likes him. A power imbalance does not a healthy relationship make. Ladynoir do not have a relationship where they are both completely aware of everything they should know. Chat Noir really cannot do anything in their dynamic, because Ladybug has all the control over everything. It's Ladybug controlling this information and Chat Noir accepting that he'll never be treated the way he wants to be treated, because he's been conditioned to believe his feelings don't matter. And she never did end up correcting this, and the conflict as it is ended with him forgiving her for everything even though she never apologized, and accepting that this is how it's going to be.

And it's not good. This isn't the Ladynoir I signed up for, honestly. I signed up for the Ladybug who accepted Chat Noir unconditionally and the Chat Noir who supported Ladybug through everything. I did not sign up for Ladybug trying to pull a Gabe and Chat Noir only being her emotional support who suppresses his own needs for her. The Ladynoir conflict and its less than satisfying resolution caused irreparable damage to the Ladynoir dynamic (it's irreparable because the writers don't see a problem with it and so they'll never fix it), and this has only continued into Season 5, which said "why fix it when I can make it worse."

#MLB #Marinette Salt #ML Salt #Meta #My meta #I know it's too late to be ranting about Season 4 when the Season 5 finale exists #But I needed to say it #Ladynoir conflict

[outer-edges]

i think we need to talk more about how in daredevil s2, karen is the first person to cross the line around frank's bed in the hospital room. that taped line is small, but it's everything. it's a physical representation of the line that separates the evil (frank) from the good (everyone else). it shows the way everyone separates frank from his emotions and his humanity, it’s the black and white morals everyone else is viewing the situation through, and the way everyone sees him as a monster because of what he's done, regardless of his reasons. everyone except karen. she doesn't care about crossing the line, even when matt is pulling her back.

this can also be read as the reason why karen and matt will never work. because karen is willing to cross that line in order to find the truth, which is where justice lies in her eyes. she doesn't hold herself, or anyone else, to the same exact moral standard matt does, and matt pulling her back is the reason they would have inevitably fallen apart even without the intervention of both frank and elektra. it's important to note that he is not "holding her back" by any means because for the most part they are on the same side and neither are necessarily one hundred percent right or wrong, but they are just fundamentally incompatible because of internal values and moral codes. matt will NEVER cross that line, but karen has and is willing to do it again.

it's also why her and frank are perfectly matched for each other in a way (though, they will never work out because of the thousand and one other circumstances holding them apart, but that's a completely different set of issues) because even though frank is in the wrong for killing all those people and karen doesn't agree with his methods, shit, she understands them. she's killed people, not for the same reasons at all, but she has. she's killed, and she's willing to go to any lengths to find truth and justice, and she knows that about herself. she sees those parts of herself - the parts she may not like that much - mirrored in frank.

#i am rambling #but yeah!!! rewatching kastle scenes for an edit and watched their first interactions in the hospital #and none of this is new or anything #but i needed to say it #cuz I can’t stop thinking about these two fr fr #kastle #karen page #frank castle

[cjrights]

tomdaya makes me believe in love

they’re my parents

#tomdaya #tom holland #zendaya #this is so random #but i needed to say it

[ofduskanddreams]

This is my addition to @separatist-apologist 's response to an anon ask and @houseofhurricane 's reblog of said ask. I just didn't want to make the reblog chain super long. Here is the link to the post. (pls read for context before continuing)

They said it all already, but few other issues in this fandom get me this incensed, so I'm going to tack on a little more because I can :)

As an Azris writer who loves this corner of the fandom, I'm also (unfortunately) very familiar with the pattern of thought voiced by the anon who sent the ask. Allow me to reiterate a very crucial point made in the response: while there is nothing inherently wrong with any of the traits the anon mentioned (submissiveness, being a bottom,etc,) it is wrong to take those traits, as well as their subsequent misogynistic connotations, and use them as a safety blanket for your heteronormativity.

The lovely ladies above said it, and I'll say it again: canonically, Eris Vanserra is just as traditionally masculine as Azriel. Eris is "tall... toned and muscled... like warriors about to set foot on a battlefield" (ACOTAR p. 311), but Eris isn't any old warrior, no—he's the commander of Beron's forces, the Autumn Court's equivalent of Cassian (ACOSF p. 98). Like @houseofhurricane mentioned in her reblog, they are both Grade-A examples of the Alphahole-type SJM fills her books with, and it's one of the reasons I love this ship.

If you come across "Azris" where Eris is written in a way that codes him as the "bottom/sub/fem" to Azriel's "top/dom/masc" — THAT IS NOT AZRIS, that is taking a wrecking ball and pulverizing Eris's canon character until he "fits" the binary. It's not Azris; it's Azriel + a heaping dose of prejudice.

#azris #I’m very non-confrontational #so this makes me nervous #but I needed to say it #thanks for coming to this ted talk

[apoetsworld]

Exes!au!wolfstar and it’s karaoke night and all their built up tension is finally released when Sirius sings “I will always love you” by Whitney Huston at the local pub and basically serenades remus as he walks in and and and is anyone getting my reference to s7 of Gilmore girls

#This is a bit of shit post ngl #But I needed to say it #wolfstar headcanon #wolfstar

[winterswhite]

I've been meaning to talk about this since I first saw the posts people were making about yesterday's troupe blog post, but the more time passes the more this bothers me, so I think we need to talk about the way some of you have been talking about Misumi and the fact that he can drive. I'm going to apologize in advance for the wall of text I'm about to throw out though www

The immediate thing that comes to mind is people being shocked that he can drive, even though the fact that he has a license has been known since the Actor's Circuit event from July 2020, making it almost three-year-old knowledge now. I do understand that not everyone has kept up with events and stories past the shutdown of A3!EN and that little factoids like this sometimes slip the collective fandom consciousness, but it's the reactions to it that I find really weird (or if they're jokes that I'm taking too seriously, I just don't get them).

Three main types of posts I've been seeing are (1) people talking about Misumi "finally" getting his license and reacting to it in various ways, (2) people implying Misumi is driving without a license, and (3) people implying Misumi would be a bad driver because of triangular road signs, triangles in the outside world, etc.

On the topic of him "finally" getting his license, I'm going to bring up again that we've known this for close to three years, but that aside, people's reactions to that are really weirding me out. Every time I see someone (especially a younger member of the fandom) say they're proud of him, calling him their baby, and saying they feel like a proud parent, it really weird me out. It's understandable to feel proud, but at this point in the story Misumi is 21 years old (technically 22, since his birthday would've passed in June and we know that in the story it's past autumn since Banri and Juza are of legal drinking age now), and to an older member of the fandom it's understandable to see him as a baby, but with anyone else, I'm going to raise an eyebrow. I'll say more on that with the other two post types, though, because they all boil down to the same thing.

Both the implication that Misumi is driving without a license and that he'd be a bad driver speak volumes, too. Doing something like driving illegally or without enough practice is extremely dangerous and no one in the company would allow him to do that, much less post about it on the company's public blog (reminder that these blog posts are read by countless Mankai fans in-universe!). The main thing that bothers me, though, is people saying (joking about? I can't tell) he'd be a bad driver because he'd be distracted by triangular road signs and other objects. To me, this comes off as incredibly ableist.

Misumi is one of the easiest characters to read as autistic (if not the easiest), and a good amount of the fandom agrees on that. His character, whether this was the intention or not, comes off very strongly as being autistic or at the very least having some sort of neurodivergence in the way he acts, reacts, and feels about things. And whether or not you personally acknowledge this, treating him the way people have been reeks of ableism. Being shocked that he can drive, babying him (when, again, he is a whole 22 years old), and joking about him being distracted by triangles all speak volumes about how you view and treat neurodivergent people.

If you do acknowledge that he's neurodivergent and still treat him like this, I don't think I need to explain how blatantly ableist that is. If you don't or it didn't occur to you (which is understandable and I can't exactly fault you for that, because what's obvious to one person may not be to another), it still doesn't change his entire character and the fact that you see those traits of his and proceed to infantilize him like this is telling. Just because you don't see something or it hasn't been explicitly told to you, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Autistic people have suffered for centuries due to people treating them like overgrown children undeserving of autonomy, babying them and denying them rights and privileges granted to others their age because of their perceived immaturity. Painting your words in a positive light and saying you love him for it doesn't change that you're essentially treating him the exact same way. It doesn't change that you're treating this character, a grown man, like a child taking his first steps.

In the same way, implying he would get distracted by triangles and put other people in danger as a result (be it passengers or bystanders) is...again, I don't think I need to explain why that's bad. Neurodivergent people are so often labeled unsafe or a danger to society and face endless trouble because of it, from being denied healthcare to employment and many other things, even being institutionalized against their will. In most cases, that "danger" just isn't real. In this one, you're just reducing Misumi to a single trait (liking triangles) and completely dismissing the fact that he's a complete, fleshed-out character and capable of functioning like the adult he is. If he's driving, he clearly has a license. If he was able to obtain it, he clearly has a certain amount of skill behind the wheel. There's a lot more to his character than just triangles. He has thoughts and feelings and a whole range of skills, just like any other character. People just seem to forget that about him because he's vocal about a special interest and happens to be a cheerful character (and we all know how much happy little guys get reduced to just that).

I understand wanting to joke around and all, but please be mindful of who and what you're joking about. This has happened before with Guy and android jokes, and now it's happening again with Misumi. Too many fandom "jokes" lean very heavily into ableism and it's very unfunny and uncomfortable to see.

In conclusion:

#some of y'all are weird about neurodivergent characters and it must be said #i wrote this all in one go and didn't proofread so sorry if any of it is incoherent lol #but i needed to say it #a3! #misumi ikaruga #an rambles: a3! #long post

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

I’m finishing up with Shameless now and, man, something I could write a whole essay on is the fat-shaming. It’s not even body issue stuff you’d find in poor ghetto neighborhoods (which would look more systematised, internalized, and self-hating). Instead Shameless' fat phobia is very LA and US show business.   

Also, I can’t agree with those that attack Gallavich and their fans on principal. Out of all the ongoing romantic relationships on Shameless Mickey and Ian’s is one of the healthie... hmm... maybe functional is a better word. Although they’re not there yet, I don’t doubt they’ll get there because they want to. Desperately. Do people honestly think they’d fight tooth and nail to love each other in peace and then not put in the work to make it work? They are tenacious enough to figure their shit out and sincerely in love enough to want the best for each other. Even when they regress and fall back on their worst habits, they follow it up with a renewed determination to be better (and succeed for the most part). That makes them leagues ahead of a majority of the other characters in the show. Furthermore, I think Ian might just be the only person who could convince Mickey to seek out a therapist, which he does need (can you imagine being a fly on the wall of those sessions? They’d be hilarious and heartbreaking).

On that point, I disagree with the pervasive instinct to self-righteously pontificate on characters in a show about systematic poverty and abuse like they’re watching rabid animals caged in a zoo. Writing the protagonists off as ‘abusive’ and ‘toxic’ wholesale without reflection for why they’ve become who they are and how? On how far they’ve come or how they’re trying? This inability to contextualize characters and their stories says more about the overall willingness to dehumanise those characters, and the failure to understand systematic oppression generally, then it does about those character. Poor, marginalized, and abusive environments breaks and frustrates the development of characters that exist in a world like Shameless, but also, characters of middle and upper class environments can exhibit behaviors that are as ‘toxic’ and ‘abusive’ only it manifests in ways that are seen as socially acceptable. People are not static, nor do we always have the tools to best understand and deal with a situation. That does not make people ‘toxic’ and ‘abusive’. Lives are allowed to touch others. We are allowed to stumble, to be wrong and make mistakes. We are allowed to need help to become our better selves and people are allowed to consent to helping us through that journey.  

That’s not even getting into the ins and outs of what Ian Gallagher and Mickey Milkovich meant to abused, mentally unwell, and closeted queer viewers. Their individual character arcs and their love story is hope that you too can overcome your environment. That you can love and be loved regardless of how the world sees you. That you’re just as worthy of this development and of this great love story. That you are deserving of having your humanity recognized and your pain contextualized. That you can someday be free and love freely. Mickey and Ian are open to growing, their love is resilient, and they’re going to be okay. That matters more than some impulse to moralize at, or rant about, “Gallavich fans” don’t you think?

#Shameless (US) #Shameless US #shameless #shameless spoilers #shameless (us) spoilers #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #gallavich #i'm likely preaching to a choir on tumblr #but i needed to say it

[they-callme-ami]

Look I dunno how to say it gently so I'm gonna come out and say it: ATSV!Hobie Brown DEFINITLEY ain't gonna date a white woman.

"Oh, but Miles was jealous--oh the love triangle rumor--"

Hobie sees Gwen as a friend at best, and the Gwen Stacy of his dimension was an inspiration/music legend so he was always gonna be down with any Gwen Stacy. It's like if a celebrity died and came back in the form of some goofy kid and you felt compelled to take care of em.

#ami talks #i will take all the hate i receive #but i needed to say it #i just don't see it #atsv #atsv hobie #atsv hobie brown #hobie brown #spider punk #atsv spider punk #across the spider verse spoilers #spider man: across the spider verse #spider man across the spider verse #across the spiderverse

[waywardcollectionchai]

What's happening with sonaze fans and why many have the need to tag sonamy and silvaze to explain why their ship is "better"?

I swear, majority of them, or are very insecure or have a superior complex

Is not the first time I see many sonaze fans use the tags of certain ships on twitter and aré one of the few ship communities who do this

#sonic the hedgehog #sonamy #silvaze #sonic fandom #annoying fandom #probably i will eliminate this post #but i needed to say it #im not interested to gave them #the attention they want #and probably they will use it to say things like #“you see sonamy fans annoying not like sonaze” #like 😬😬😬 #really annoying people #who live at the shadows of the other ships #like #if you downgrade ships as a way to make your ship look “good” #you are one of the worst kind of fan #more like you being a fan you are trying to like something is not for you

[rat29]

Give the people (me) what they (i) want (a Nazgûl dating sim)

#cancel worthy take #but i needed to say it #lotr #nazgul #not f1 #lord of the rings

[sirenscriptures]

idk who really needs to hear this but you ARE smart enough. you ARE talented enough. you have so much power in even the simplest things you do on a day to day basis. your potential is so vast, and you have the ability to accomplish so much. it doesn’t matter the size of the accomplishments or how much you’ve done so far. you keep showing up for yourself and what you care about, and that is beautiful. no matter how big or how small, you continue to achieve and you deserve to be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come, and how far you’ll continue to go. <3

#random i know #but i needed to say it #𓆩⟡𓆪 — siren’s song

[spocksgotemotions]

Little One by Highly Suspect is garashir during the wire. to me

#captain’s own #dumb bitch hours #first line is literally “I’m cornered in fire so break out the secrets” #nothing will come of this probably #but I needed to say it

[currentlyincognitoperson]

Mojang needs to add backpacks. I LOVE gathering a bunch of things, flowers, different stones, and a bunch of wood. And while I've got all my tools and food, plus a boat or whatever else it doesn't make it easy.

I know we have shulker boxes, but those aren't until LATE in the game most of the time. So I think that'd be a good alternative with not AS much room as a shulker, it could take up the slot you'd use for a chest plate for the slight disadvantage as well.

#this is long #but i needed to say it #minecraft #mojang #mine craft

[thefaestolemyname]

Instead of starting an argument on a post, I'm making my own.

While in this popular post it's good to rally together against an evil cause, I think that's an inherently harmful message, because we must remember the things nicely explained in this popular post.

The proper way to talk to fascists - or members of any evil ideology - is NOT immediate hostility.

Remember Daryl Davis!

Instead, politely communicating your disagreement with dignity and engaging with them on the topic respectfully (Respect to them as a human being not equating respect to their beliefs) is the best way.

It humanizes their opposition, making us vs them mentality harder and making them more likely to be decent to those around them. Far right narratives frame "the evil leftists" as degenerate conspirators that have no hold on logic. If you give them an example of a leftist (or at least non-fascist) that is reasonable and moral, you're already making a counter-argument.

In addition, groups with such radical beliefs live in a worldview in which life is a constant battle between narratives and the people they think are right win and they people they think are wrong lose. If you can give an example of people being able to have peace across ideological lines, or simply just relate to each other without bringing in friend or foe attitude, you can help them and the world.

Look, members of evil ideologies are people too. If you can help save them from the ideology, that's ideal. If you can just shake their faith in it some so that they cause less harm, that's the next best thing.

Or, if that's not on the table either, they're too far gone, the question comes up: How ought one to interact with an enemy? What is a proper goal to have in relation with an enemy?

I would say it is to stop them from causing harm, harm presumably being the reason they are your enemy. How? Making them not your enemy is best, to do that, see above. If that's not possible, creating protection from the harm or taking away the ability to harm is next, to do that, vote and be politically active. If that's not possible, destroying the enemy is the last resort. Don't do that, because we have the other options available to us, and also murder is not a wise thing to do.

Plus, for yourself, it's better to live in a world where you can co-exist with people rather than feeling like you have to fight them at every encounter.

Just Being Nice is the right thing to do here, its best for you, its best for them, its best for the local community and larger world.

Of course, there are more specific situations in which a fascist may be doing immediate harm and must be immediately stopped, by violence if necessary. Sometimes, you Should Punch Nazis.

It's also important to stand up for yourself in the case of aggression towards you.

But just be nice, even to people who are wrong.

To be clear, I'm not saying its okay to be a fascist, I'm not saying I support fascism in any way shape or form, and I'd like to go on record for saying I hate fascism.

What I'm saying is that the best way to deal with a fascist is to be polite and dignified in opposition to them - with kindness if possible, but never at the expense of acceptance - with specific exceptions where hostility is necessary.

#rant #political rant? #rant about ethics? #Sorry to the people who aren't interested in this sort of stuff #But I needed to say it #The less youth fallen into fascism the better #the more people leaving fascism the better #the less us vs them mentality the better #and change doesn't happen if you ignore things #🐸 #important #my longest post ever?

[anothergolddustwoman]

Hi thought of this parallel and now I must share.

Olivia told Elliot he was the single most important person in her life

And

Lucy told Tim he is the most important relationship in her life

#I don’t know where I’m going with this #but I needed to say it #chenford #Bensler #the rookie #the rookie spoilers