#but I didn't feel like it and I thought it would be interesting this way for story purposes (not that too much changes) ^^'

[lilasamaaa]

Ignorance is bliss | Max Verstappen x Reader

Genre | Angst, Hurt/Comfort.

Word count | 3K.

Warnings | Brief mentions of sexual activities, panic attack, Max and reader get in a fight.

Summary | Max and you have been dating for several months, and everything is going well. Except when paparazzi start chasing you for no reason. Is your boyfriend hiding something from you?

Author's note | This was requested by @butterflyexe ! Thank you lovely for the great idea! I tweaked it a bit though, so I hope you like it! I loved writing this piece but again, sorry for the crippling angst lmao 🥲 Not proofread as usual, oopsie

The doorbell of your apartment rings, and you leap off your couch, opening the door and throwing yourself into your boyfriend's arms.

"Oh, wow," Max says, pressing a kiss to your head. "Did you know it was me or do you throw yourself into the arms of everyone who rings your doorbell?" he adds, laughing.

"Of course I knew it was you," you reply, laughing too. "I've been waiting for you all week. And I noted that your flight was landing an hour ago, so it lined up," you explain, taking his hand and leading him to the couch, where you both sit down.

Max looks tired, the bags under his eyes casting blue and gray shades on his pale skin. He moves to lie down on the couch, resting his head on your thighs, closing his eyes.

"How was the work trip?" you ask, playing with his hair.

"It was great," he finally replies, opening his eyes and meeting yours. "Quite tiring, but interesting. It was nice to, erm. See my colleagues again," he says.

"I still can't believe your company paid for the trip all the way to Australia," you whisper as Max closes his eyes again under your caresses. "If I had known the automotive industry required you to travel that much, I would have applied for the job."

Max doesn't respond, simply taking one of your hand in his and gently stroking your knee with the other.

"You must feel so out of it with the jet lag..." you continue, concerned. "It's a good thing they gave you a few days to rest. When are you expected back at work?"

"Not until next week," Max says, playing with the rings on your fingers.

"And you said you're going to Japan after? That's such a weird ass schedule," you say, making him laugh. "I feel like you travel more than most influencers... Or even athletes," you state, making him open an eye.

"Perks of the job," Max says before planting a soft kiss on your lips, and standing up. "Can I borrow your shower?"

"Of course! You know the way," you wink at him, heading towards the kitchen. "I'll fix us something to eat in the meantime."

Sitting at the small table in your kitchen, illuminated by a few candles and the lights of the city outside, Max devours the plate you placed in front of him a few minutes ago. You silently observe him, both fascinated by the man before you and disturbed by a thought that has plagued you in his absence.

"I've been thinking," you start, making your boyfriend look up.

"Yeah? Tell me," he says, covering your hand with his.

"How come I've never been to your place?"

Max stops chewing, his light eyes fixated on yours.

"I didn't know you wanted to?" he replies, brows furrowed.

"Well I've never asked to, but isn't that how it usually works in a relationship? Once at mine, once at yours?"

"I'm sorry," Max replies. "I didn't realize it was important to you."

You suddenly feel guilty and squeeze your boyfriend's hand, giving him a warm smile.

"Forget it, sorry," you say, getting up to rinse your plate. "That was stupid. You're right, we're fine here."

After dinner, you and Max settle on the couch again, watching some show on Netflix. When you notice Max fighting against sleep, his eyelids heavy and his breath short, you grab the remote before turning off the TV. The sudden silence jolts him awake, and you laugh before pulling him by the arm and leading him down to your bedroom. You make a quick stop in the bathroom to remove your makeup and brush your teeth and, when you come back to the room, you find Max fast asleep under the covers. The sight is endearing. You press a kiss on his forehead before settling next to him, your cold body against his already warm one.

The next morning, you wake up alone in a cold bed. A familiar smell tickles your nostrils, and you make your way to the kitchen, your eyes still heavy with sleep.

"Good morning!" Max says, already dressed up, and looking much fresher than yesterday. "I made us breakfast."

"Wow, that's so sweet of you," you say before sitting at the table, taking a hot pancake from the plate in front of you.

"I'm sorry for falling asleep so fast yesterday," your boyfriend starts again. "To make it up to you, I'd like to take you out to lunch."

The offer takes you by surprise, and you stare at your boyfriend, mouth agape. It's been five months since you started seeing each other. Five months since you bumped into him by chance at the Monte Carlo casino while you were out dining with friends. Five months of being inseparable, but also five months of very limited outings. Max travels a lot for work, and you don't necessarily have the means to go out regularly in Monaco. Most of the moments you share therefore take place within the four walls of your apartment, and you're thrilled to get some fresh air with him for once.

"You seem happy," he says, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"I am!" you say, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Where are we going?"

"What about Nobu?" Max says.

"What? Max, that's way too expensive," you reply, furrowing your brows.

"It doesn't really matter, given I'll be the one paying."

"No way," you say. "We're splitting the bill. And I'm not paying three grands for some sushis, as delicious as everyone claim they are."

"They really are. So please, let me do this for you. Just this once? I can afford it," your boyfriend says, making you frown.

His words remind you that you don't know what your boyfriend does for a living. He's talked to you about cars, mechanics, but you're having trouble understanding what kind of job in the automotive industry requires so much traveling around the world. A job that apparently pays very well, given the restaurants he frequents. Realizing there's no point in arguing and not wanting to pick a fight with Max, you simply nod, lips pressed together. However, you're counting on one last point to escape the pricey restaurant and hopefully eat elsewhere. Somewhere more affordable.

"Well, if you insist," you finally say, popping a strawberry in your mouth. "I doubt we'll get a table for noon, though," you add. "I heard you have to book months in advance."

"Don't worry about that," Max says, stroking your cheek. "I need to stop by my place real quick before, can we meet there?"

Two hours later, you're sitting at one of the finest tables at Nobu, facing the sea. The fuck just happened, you think, watching your boyfriend immersed in the menu with a raised eyebrow. How? Before you have time to question it further, a waiter brings two champagne flutes and a bottle in a Nobu-stamped ice bucket to your table before hurrying away, thanking you two profusely for coming.

"Did you order this?" you ask Max, making him look up.

"No, I didn't. That's so kind of them."

"What the actual fuck, Max?" you snap, eyes wide. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" your boyfriend asks.

"Did you somehow not notice how everyone's been bending over backward for us since we walked in? I think the waitress behind you hasn't taken her eyes off us for the past thirty minutes. And since when do they bring champagne to people who haven't ordered anything?" you say with a worried look. "Are they confusing us for someone?"

"Why are you so worried?" Max asks, giving you a look that's meant to be reassuring but just looks uncomfortable. "Just enjoy the moment. And the view."

You sit back in your chair, biting the inside of your cheek. Something isn't right. You can feel it. Max adjusts one of his hair strands, and the sleeve of his shirt slips down slightly, revealing a watch you've never seen before. It takes you a few seconds to recognize the model, and when you do, your heart skips a beat.

"Is this a new watch?" you ask, trying to act nonchalant.

"What? Oh, yeah. Bought it in Melbourne."

"You casually bought a Rolex Daytona?" you ask, tilting your head.

"I didn't know you knew about watches," Max says, adjusting the collar of his shirt.

"You don't need to know about watches to know that this model costs almost a hundred thousand euros," you say, eyes boring into his.

The tension at the table has risen a notch, none of you uttering a word. As an anxious waiter places several plates in front of you, you glance around, suddenly realizing something you hadn't noticed before, absorbed in your conversation with your boyfriend.

"There's no one here," you say, still looking around. "It's noon on a Saturday, and the restaurant is empty."

Max sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"I know," he finally says, carefully meeting your gaze. "I wanted us to have some peace."

"What? What did you do?"

"I've privatized the restaurant," he says.

"How did you do that?" you ask, unintentionally raising your voice.

"I paid," Max simply says, grabbing a sushi.

"How much?"

"Several thousands!" Max almost shouts, making you wince. "What's up with all your questions?"

You're completely lost. You don't recognize the man you've been seeing for the past five months. The man who comes to your place by foot, usually in sweatpants, who spends evenings watching Netflix with you. Taking baths with you. Passionately making love to you. You have no idea who this new man is, covered in expensive clothes and accessories, on whom all heads turn and who raises whispers as he passes by.

"Who the fuck are you?" you simply ask, feeling your eyes start to water.

"Baby," Max says, finally realizing how uncomfortable and lost you are. "Please, can we just enjoy the meal? I'll answer all your questions at your place. I'll explain everything, but please. Let's not make a scene," he implores.

You swallow hard, staring at the ceiling to dry the tears in the corners of your eyes. For the rest of the meal, Max talks, telling you about his trip, about his life. You politely answer the few questions your boyfriend asks you, remaining silent the rest of the time. You don't even have an appetite anymore, having swallowed three sushi pieces before your stomach threatened to turn.

At the end of the meal, Max slips a credit card into the folder that a waiter has placed on the table, then adds three hundred-dollar bills. Tip, you think. More than what I earn in a day of work. The price of discretion, probably. The waiter leaves with the folder before coming back, and just as he's about to ask for something, Max shots him a look that makes him close his mouth. Your boyfriend thanks the young man before walking around the table, extending a hand that you grasp to rise as well. You thank the still-empty restaurant staff, giving them a genuine smile despite the anxiety twisting your stomach. Max opens the door for you, and you walk out on the street, thanking him.

For a moment, you curse yourself for forgetting your sunglasses at home, as the Monaco sun blinds you instantly. You blink in surprise, but your blindness persists as Max grabs your wrist and pushes you behind him. You try to open your eyes, but flashes keep assaulting you, and it takes you a few seconds to realize that they're coming from huge cameras pointed just inches away from your face.

"Max?"' you ask with a high-pitched voice, starting to panic.

Max turns around, pressing you against him and covering your eyes as he guides you through the screaming crowd. People push you in all directions, pressing against you, touching your arms, your face, crumpling your clothes. Screaming. At first, you can't make sense of what the voices are shouting, with all your senses being overwhelmed. But suddenly, you hear it. Max. They're screaming his name. Max looks up, and a new series of flashes burn your retinas as your boyfriend holds you even tighter against him, one arm around your shoulders.

"I'm so sorry," you hear him say among the voices.

"What's happening?" you ask, panting.

And, then, you feel it. The panic attack. Even though you've never experienced one before, you immediately understand what's happening to you. You recognize the signs. Your legs give way, and you have to cling to Max to keep from falling to your knees. Your heart rate and breath quicken until they're suffocating, while tears stream down your cheeks.

"I can't breathe," you croak, so weakly that you're not even sure if Max heard you.

"Hang on, baby," your boyfriend says, still walking. "We're almost at the car."

The flashes continue, and so do your tears. Max grips you as tightly as he can, shielding your face, lifting you halfway to help you walk. After a few seconds, the longest of your life, you hear a car door open, and Max gently pushes you into his car before closing the door and jumping in. He wastes no time in starting the engine, cutting through the crowd, disappearing into the alleys of Monaco.

You don't say a word. You're unable to speak. Unable to breathe. Still trembling. Crying. You don't realize it, but Max struggles to tear his eyes away from your body, which seems so small, so battered at this moment. He doesn't speak either, biting his lips until it draws blood. He hates himself. He knows he'll regret making you go through this for a long time. But now, all he can do is explain. Lay all the cards on the table. Something he should have done a long time ago.

The journey seems to last an eternity until you catch sight of a gigantic building, and Max drives into an underground parking. He parks the car and rushes out, opening your door, helping you out. You're still in shock, and Max supports you as he guides you to an elevator. A few seconds later, after twist of his keys, you find yourself in a vast penthouse overlooking the Mediterranean Sea. You don't even have the strength to ask questions anymore. To ask where you are. You sit down on the large couch, wiping the tears from your cheeks. Trying to calm your breathing.

Max watches you, standing at the foot of the couch. Bewildered. Not even daring to come close to you. The two of you stand in silence a few moments, until he finally speaks.

"I know it won't fix anything. But I'm truly, sincerely sorry."

You don't reply, head low. playing with the rings on your finger.

"I owe you some explanations."

No reply.

"I'm a Formula 1 driver."

You finally look up, and the mascara streaks on your cheeks squeeze his heart in the worst way.

"I should have told you earlier. I should have warned you, but I couldn't. With you, I discovered normalcy. Anonymity. I discovered what it was live to have an ordinary life, away from the hustle, the stress, the constant judgment."

"So you knew how precious it was," you say, squinting your eyes. "And yet, you chose to expose me to all of those things."

"I hadn't planned for it to happen. I didn't want it to happen. I tried."

"I can't do this," you reply, feeling fresh tears roll down your cheeks.

Seeing you cry again, Max sits on the couch, pulling you close to him as another sob shakes your body.

"Why?" you ask, crying. "Why did you let me fall in love with the person I thought you were?"

Each of your words, each of your sobs break his heart a little more, but he takes it. He knows your anger is justified. Deserved.

"Because I loved you too. And I didn't want this to stop."

"You lied to me," you say between two sobs. "I trusted you. I trusted you so much."

It's too much. Even for him. A tear runs down his cheek. Max wipes it away angrily.

"If you never want to see me again, I understand. I'll come get my things. I'll erase your number. I won't stand in the way of you living a normal life, of finding love with someone normal. You deserve the best, even if it's not with me."

You hate him.

You despise him for having been himself, his most vulnerable self, with you. For charming you with his awkwardness, his foreign accent, his somewhat strict manners. You hate him for being the perfect man for you. You hate him for making your heart beat so strongly. But above all, you hate him for building your love on a lie, on fragile foundations doomed to collapse and sweep you both away in the wreckage.

"I hate you," you sob, making his heart stop. "And I hate myself even more. For not being able to let you go."

"Baby", he says, moving to kneel in front of you. "If you give me this chance, a chance to rebuild everything with you again, I swear that nothing will ever happen to you again. I won't let anyone near you, anyone touch you. Not even a glance. I will rebuild everything around us. We'll be untouchable. Indestructible."

One month later.

"Are you ready, baby?" Max asks, meeting your gaze. "Once I post it, there's no going back."

"I think so," you say, biting on your fingernails. "Let's get this over with," you add, sitting on his knees while the driver presses a kiss to your neck, softly stroking your leg.

"Okay. Let's do this."

#f1 #f1 2024 #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 #max verstappen #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x female reader #mv1 #mv1 x you #mv1 x reader #mv33 #mv33 x you #mv33 x reader #lilasamaaa #slowly working my way up all the requests lmao

[moonyasnow]

Seeing Green.

How they react to an S/O who tries to hold back bad jealousy issues

CHARACTERS : Leona, Azul, Kalim

CONTENT : Intense jealousy from Reader, Reader has thoughts of murder (Leona's part), unhealthy behaviors (Leona's part), Reader is implied to be insecure, who am I kidding almost all of them are insecure

Jealousy was an ugly thing, you knew…and even more so within you. It was ugly, and burning, and scared, and desperate, and bloodlust. It teemed within you, coursing through your veins as surely as your blood, seeming to radiate from your painfully throbbing heart and spread like miasma constricting your lungs and out through your nose in heavy, laborious breaths.

Sometimes you were afraid he could smell it on you...

Leona

Leona Kingscholar, the overlooked, never-desired, second prince of the Sunset Savannah was no stranger to jealousy…no, envy was more like it, what he yearned for seemingly always just out of reach no matter how far he extended his hand. But Jealousy and Envy— desire to keep near what is yours, and desire for what someone else's possesses— are two sides to the same coin.

So then, when he saw the signs of jealousy, he instantly recognized it for what it was.

After a summons from his brother and sister-in-law back to the Sunset Savannah for some important international relations event he 'simply couldn't miss!' he dragged you with him as his living emotional support pillow. But as always happened at those events, something he'd grown used to and been expecting, he had 'suitors' crawling all over him.

Second Prince with a bane of a Signature Spell and a bad reputation or no, he was still royalty, and quite handsome. But even if the latter wasn't the case, nothing will ever stop social climbers. He knew none of them could care less about him as a person, only his title, and he had no interest in any of them.

Even though you knew this, the pit of dread in your stomach still made itself known. You didn't know any of the people who came up to the two of you— had no idea if, if given the opportunity, they might actually have any chance of stealing him away from you. But that didn't seem to matter. Because as soon as one of them came up and began to flirt with him, in the open, right next to you, his partner… Your mind roiled and screamed and wanted them dead. You wanted their head on a platter, wanted to see them shoved out a 10-story window, dig your nails into the sides of their face and force them to look at you and tremble while you asked them what they were doing, acting so familiar with your lover as though you weren't even there.

He noticed the shift in energy beside him as quick as it appeared, glancing to the corner of his eye to see you gritting your teeth, taking long, steady breaths and trying with all your might to hide the look of disgust, rage and anguish on your face. He understood instantly, and didn't even try to stop his grin.

To think his little Herbivore, usually so nice and sweet and docile, had such an ugly side to them. One that was just for him. That he alone had the sway to turn an unsure and timid thing like yourself into such a monster. But he couldn't say it was a sight he hated. He was the only this possessiveness of yours was directed toward. He, and no one else, was that special to you. He, and no one else, was desired by you.

He would exploit it. It was for him after all, wasn't it? So that feeling of yours was his to do with as he pleased. He wouldn't go out of his way, of course, who do you take him for? Instead going out of his way not to go out of his way: letting the touch of an overeager suitor linger on his shoulders instead of shrugging them off, returning their gaze for a second too long, pretending he didn't notice you biting your lip harder in distress. The way you clung to him so tightly after you retired to his room for the night, curling your body so closely around him, as though scared he'd disappear if you let go, was too sweet not to. You held him like he was precious. Priceless. More important than anything. It was a feeling he couldn't help but chase after the first time he felt it because of you.

It made him feel so powerful. Satiated something inside him with roots so deep he could never pull it out. But for a moment, this jealousy of yours made him forget it. You recognized his greatness, after all: enough to be scared of him being taken away from you…

…You recognized him.

But…when you woke him up in the middle of the night, crying quietly into his chest, he knew why. He took it too far.

Would he want to be more straightforward with you if he could? Possibly. Was it cruel? Most definitely. But 'honest' and 'nice' were two words that had never been used to describe him. He wasn't capable of that, so why even try? Besides, you knew what you signed up for, being with him.

…At least, he hoped so.

Azul

A youth spent overlooked, insulted, bullied and outcast from the peers one is supposed to be connecting with, for Azul Ashengrotto, resulted in a very low sense of self worth. And with it, a deeply engrained fear that he wasn't good enough to truly keep the things he cherished. At least, not if he acted like himself. While for him, that most often manifested in a fear of you rejecting him; seeing a hint of weakness in him and deciding to 'cut your losses' and run, he was also not a stranger to jealousy.

You wanted to cling to him, be closer to him, hold him in a vice grip and never let go. But you were afraid to… Scared that your hold might be suffocating to him. For while you loved the intelligent, dedicated and hard-working side of him, it was also the one you feared might discard you, write you off a distraction, if he knew of your desperation for him. So then…when you saw Jade and Floyd so seemingly comfortable and easily able to take his attention even from his work, alarm bells rung in your head. You tried to soothe yourself with the fact that it was just because they were childhood friends, but that seemed to have the opposite effect. They were closer to him than you. You feared you would never be that close to him. That if it came to it, he would choose them over you in a heartbeat. It seemed to crush you from the inside out.

But you hid it. Experience had taught you that being clingy and jealous, much less showing others those feelings, never lead to anything good. You swallowed it and put it in a bottle and hoped he would never notice. Hoped you could wait until you were alone to spill your tears.

One day when you came to his office to spend time with him, your time together was briefly interrupted by Jade, coming to deliver papers of some kind. You expected him to leave quickly afterwards, watching and waiting for him to make his exit. But he met your eyes briefly, then began to make small talk with Azul. With the two focused on each other, you, at his side, felt like a fly on the wall. A ghost. A third wheel, even in the presence of your lover. Your jealousy reared its ugly head with a passion. The pressure within you only kept building until Jade had finally left.

It was then that he saw you, almost trembling, trying and failing to hide the tears welling up in your eyes and shifting infinitesimally closer to him, hands twitching to close the distance, breathing like your lungs were filled with stones, yet biting your lip hard in a by-now futile attempt to hide it. At first, he began to panic, mind spinning with thoughts of what he could have done to upset you so. But then it hit him— this only started after your time together was interrupted.

When he realized that, he realized the probable cause for your distress.

You feared losing his attention, losing his love, losing him, didn't you? You were scared someone else would come along and make him forget about you. He understood. Seven, he hated how much he understood… So much that it felt uncomfortable, seeing his own inner ugliness reflected back at him.

Having gathered evidence, he decided to confront you with it in order to ask you about the issue, like a detective would a crime-suspect. He wanted to believe it was because he knew you would lie if asked without proof. But it was just what he knew; his methods of dealing with any and all confrontation having come from a history of needing to appear always calm, detached and in-control.

When he'd confirmed his suspicions and learned of your fear, he feared he might start crying. Wether from sadness that his lover could understand that fear, or from relief at not being the only one.

You expected him to be disgusted with the extent of your jealousy, your urge to be possessive and forbid him to look at anyone but you. But next thing you knew, he, who so often shied away from even your touch, had you wrapped gently in his arms.

From then on he let you act a bit more possessive of him. He knew what would soothe his own anxiety, and hoped that the same might soothe yours. He was still plagued with the dual fear that clinging too much might suffocate you, and that loosening his hold too much might see you slip from his grasp, so he couldn't bring himself to do it. Still, he let you cling to his arm. It made him flush with both smug pride and embarrassment at the same time, having you coiled around his arm in front of others, soothing his own insecurity as much as the twins' teasing tickled his defensive side.

But he still let you.

If he could still find you lovely even with that 'ugly' side to you, he reasoned…then perhaps…just hypothetically…you could see the same in him.

One day, maybe he would show you…

Kalim

Kalim Al-Asim, heir to the richest merchant family in the Scalding Sands, one of the richest families in the world, purely by his parents' design, has never known jealousy. All that he wished for, he got. Knowing the precarious position he was in, that an attempt could be made on his life at any moment, he never took all that he had for granted. He was grateful for it, even though his cheer might not make it readily apparent. Yet as he had never truly lost anything he deeply cherished, he wouldn't be familiar with the feelings that weighed you down.

Though that didn't mean he wouldn't notice if you weren't feeling well. He might not be able to accurately place the reasons behind it, but through experience gained from years and years of playing host at various parties— or perhaps just an older brother's instinct— he always noticed when someone was feeling low.

Kalim had always been a social butterfly, and you knew this well— better than almost anyone, in fact, partly due to that being how you met in the first place. He was mesmerizing, so in his element entertaining people at parties, or just in regular conversation, and seeing him shining so brightly and enjoying each second of life with such a passion only made you fall even deeper for him.

But unlike him, sharing didn't come as naturally to you. No matter how hard you tried to reason with yourself, say that him putting an arm around another's shoulder was only a friendly gesture, that you knew Kalim was just a naturally touchy person and it didn't mean he didn't still consider you his favorite, nothing would soothe the tempest that raged within you. Each of his smiles that you so adored, directed at someone that wasn't you, felt like poison stabbed into your gut. Every time he laughed at a comment or joke made by someone else, the world seemed to drain of color, bit by bit. No matter how much you loved— adored— him, those feelings kept coming back every second he wasn't sitting next to you, holding you, leaning on your shoulder and directing all his focus to you.

It felt inevitable, in your mind, that it would end with you being forgotten in favor of someone else. Someone funnier, someone smarter, someone happier, someone more confident, someone less anxious…someone better.

When you waded too deep into the turbulent waters and risked losing yourself to the whirlwind of your anxious, paranoid thoughts is when he would always find his way back to you again. He could always tell, like some intuitive feeling, that something was bothering you. He might not know why, since you didn't often tell him, but he didn't like seeing you like that: looking so sad and lost. Spending time worrying about what the cause could be would only be taking time away from what was actually important: making you feel better. So he did what he did best.

He came up next to you again, linking his arm through yours and rubbing your foreheads together, beginning to talk your ear off about something or other, having you try more of the feast and telling jokes to make you laugh. Your sweet laugh made his spirits soar even higher than before. And that just made him want to make you happy even more! Like a spiral of happiness.

And when, after everyone had left, you held him tighter, he held back just as tight, loving the heat of your entwined bodies curled up under the covers. You were holding a bit too tightly to be comfortable at times. But every time you recognized that and loosened your hold on him, he squeezed back tighter. It was alright, that's what he wanted to say. It was alright for you to hold him as tight as you needed.

After you eventually fell asleep, he kissed your forehead gently as you slept in his arms. He might not know the reason behind your sadness, but he'd always do whatever he could to make it go away. Nothing brought him greater joy than seeing yours. And the thought that his presence alone could soothe you made him so happy. He couldn't help himself and pressed more and more feather-light kisses all over your face.

He felt like the luckiest man in the world, getting to call you his, and you calling him yours.

Hopefully, you would be forever.

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So! This was my first headcanon post! I uh hope you liked it! Not gonna lie, I'm a liiiittle nervous posting this ; 0 v 0) I guess I'm still not really used to sharing my writing with people haha

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #leona kingscholar #leona kingsholar x reader #azul ashengrotto #azul x reader #kalim al asim #kalim x reader #Moony's Writing #Moony Post

[yumeka-sxf]

Thoughts on Spy x Family: Family Portrait

I finally got around to reading the SxF light novel, Family Portrait...and I mean "finally" because it's literally been sitting in my shelf since it was first released in English back in December of last year! I was distracted by Code White and the SxF video game which came out around the same time, but even long after that, I was having trouble getting motivated to read it. For some reason, experiencing SxF in novel format instead of in anime/manga just didn't appeal to me, plus the fact that it's not written by Endo himself (these weird preferences of mine are also why I'm not into reading fanfics either). Don't get me wrong, in general I love reading stories in prose form too, but for a series like SxF that already has such an established visual identity, it doesn't feel as "authentic" to me if that makes any sense. But I did want to read it eventually, since it is an official part of SxF media and Endo did the illustrations and does acknowledge the book (he wrote a nice afterword at the end). So I finally sat down and read it in sections over the course of this week! I'll share my brief thoughts on each of the contained stories:

Novel Mission 1

Since this was the first story in the book, it took me a while to get used to experiencing the world of SxF in novel form. There were some things I felt would have been better conveyed in anime/manga, for example, one of the very first gags about Yor misinterpreting Anya's nature class as some sort of hardcore outdoor survival trip. As I was reading that part I was like "I get the joke, but it would have been funnier if I actually saw these images and the characters' expressions with Endo's comedic illustrations." It was also a bit jarring to hear the characters thoughts and feelings from third-person narration, but I got used to it. As for the story itself, it was Damianya focused, something I'm not particularly into, but I don't mind it either. I liked the rare, soft Damian moments, and the thing with the squirrel eating Anya's peanut trail was funny. I also liked the scene at the beginning where Loid and Yor feed Bond together while Anya watches.

Novel Mission 2

Oddly, this was my favorite of the stories! Of all the characters, I think the author nailed Yuri's unhinged thoughts the best - as I was reading, I couldn't help but hear every cringe thought in his voice, which is a good sign of how well the author gets the character! I actually chuckled at a few parts too, both from his insane Yor-obsessed and anti-Loid musings, as well as from his banter with Anya. The police interrogation scene was great and would be even better if it ever gets animated! I also found it interesting that this story has the first instance where we find out what Yuri thinks about Bond (that he's fat and useless - rude!) Also his first time hearing about Franky apparently...makes we wonder if Endo will make him feel the same way if these things ever come up in the manga.

Novel Mission 3

I liked this story a lot too! I think it worked the best in novel format out of all of them, probably because it was more focused on drama and emotions than comedy. It's ironic that the two official SxF stories that feature the deeper side of Franky's character - this one and the omake chapter from volume 13 - are both not even part of the main canon! Alessa would have definitely accepted Franky's job as an informant, but he felt that someone like her should only be surrounded by "beautiful things." The poor man really needs to see that inner beauty matters too, and he has that! I also think he should have swallowed his pride and told Loid the real reason why he wanted the disguise...not that it would have changed the outcome. Poor Franky.

Novel Mission 4

This was a cute Forger-focused story, but like the first one, I felt it had parts that would have been more effective in anime/manga form, for example, "hair monster" Yor and whatever hideous painting Felix ended up making! But despite that, it was still funny and cute. Though I do think the author went a tad overboard with Yor's flustered antics...they just kept going and going, lol. Also, like the movie, we have another scenario of Loid getting flung into the air by Yor but landing gracefully on his feet (though this instance was much tamer since she wasn't drunk and only pushed him instead of hit him). Again, maybe I would have appreciated the humor in this story better if I saw it in anime/manga with Endo's hilarious designs and expressions, but for what it was, it was enjoyable enough.

Short Novel

This extra short story would be perfect as a reintroduction story for a future anime season...maybe one day!

-----

Overall, the Family Portrait novel is a nice addition to the Spy x Family universe. Even though I feel the humor in the series is most effective in illustrated form, it's still nice to have more stories in the canon, especially ones that show new sides to the characters, like the Franky and Yuri stories. Like the movie, it's debatable if this novel should be considered true canon or not, but personally, I don't find anything in it that contradicts canon, at least not yet. So yeah, definitely check out the novel if you haven't already! 😁

#spy x family #sxf #spy family #spyxfamily #loid forger #yor forger #anya forger #bond forger #damian desmond #yuri briar #franky franklin #sxf family portrait #sxf novel

[k0juki]

You and Mafia Max having a night out in the Netherlands.

Mafia!Max Verstappen

Carneval night

English is not my first language so feel free to point out any mistakes or errors! Also the picture is not mine! Credit goes to owner!

More Mafia!Max posts here!

A/n: The time-line is before they broke up.

Wc: 624

---

You were only a few months in the Netherlands, so Max thought that it would be fun to show you around Amsterdam.

At first you were here just because of your father, but after some time and meeting some new people, including Max, you decided to stay here, with him.

Amsterdam has become more than just a temporary stop—now it's your home, filled with love and adventure. You fell in love with him, and he did the same.

"I heard there's a street festival here." Max suggested and wrapped his arm around your waist. "Live music, delicious food stalls, and carnival games. I thought you would like it."

"That doesn't sound so bad." You teased him, but he can't say he doesn't like it, because he does like it.

As you stroll through the vibrant streets of Amsterdam, the festive atmosphere fills you with excitement. You really liked this place, because it wasn't anything like back home in London.

"Oh, look Max, they have these big stuffed animals here!" You pointed out and made your way to that booth with Max right beside you.

"Who do I have to shoot to get that donkey?" You asked and took that heavy gun. Max and the stall holder laughed. "I mean it."

"Yeah, she's not joking." Max grined and gave warning look to that guy. It was sign that nor Max or you were joking. You really wanted that stupit stuffed animal.

"I'm sure you do young lady, the rules are simple, you have to shoot down the cans. That's all." He explained, as he moved aside, you pointed the gun at cans and shot. Completely missed. It was harder than you expected.

At first, Max was just wheezing, so you didn't mind him much, but after some time... "That was amazing love, you have to teach me." He laughted and clapped his hands.

"Oh, ha ha...I'm just warming up." You adjusted the gun and shot. Missed again.

That couldn't be right, the gun was just too heavy. And what was worse, Max's laugh starts to piss you off. Did he want to die? You were sure he did. You said nothing and just gave him a long side eye. If look could kill, Max would be instantly dead.

"Someone is asking for trouble." You whispered and shot the last shoot. Nothing.

You put the gun down and turned to Max with both hands on your hips. "You wanna try it, Emilian?"

That shut him up, because everyone that was close to Max and you knew that you normally didn't call Max Emilian. More like Max, Maxi or love. You were really pissed off.

But he didn't waste any second and took the gun the moment it was reloaded and perfectly shot three times, all cans fell down.

Max looked at you with a smug face and put down the gun. You just crossed your arms as that stallholder cherished and congratulated Max, he just laughed a little and said, "I will take that donkey."

As Max handed you that stuffed animal, he leaned his head down and kissed your cheek. "For a pretty lady, one big donkey."

You thanked Max and took his hand in yours, everything was forgiven. And then you started dragging him to another interesting place you saw.

But you didn't notice how Max turned back to the stallholder and how they exchanged a long glances of knowing, he knew who Max was, so even if Max didn't shoot right after you, he would give you that stuffed donkey himself.

His life was worth more than some plush.

"What do you say we look for next?" Max asked and put his arm back around you. Even though you were completely clueless, but still happy.

---

🫶

#max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #x female!reader #f1 x reader #f1 #k0juki's stuff 🩷 #x reader #max verstappen x you #mafia!au #mafia!max #mafia!max verstappen #mafia!max verstappen x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #lando norris x reader #lando norris #lewis hamilton #carlos sainz #max verstappen x female reader #mafia!f1 #formula 1 #blurb

[yanfeiimain]

"Sure, I'll play along" - Aventurine x Reader

c/w: not nsfw, suggestive at most! Aventurine saving you from your ex. strong language used.

words: 1.3k

a/n: I was literally playing, farming character exp and his voice line made my brain go boom. I'm still working on flip a coin tho so this isnt necesarily perfect >.< Possible part 2 with smut??

---

You were sitting at the casino's bar, nervously playing around with your glass. you look around carefully, checking if he followed you. There were no faces you knew. You let out a shaky breath. The bartender shoots you a glance but you pay her no mind.

As someone sits down next to you, you jump and get ready to leave. "Just leave me alone asshole. I don't-" you say, wanting to escape as fast as possible.

"There's no need to be so mean." a young man says, giving a male bartender a note. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to! I thought you were someone else…" you excuse yourself. You look at the man next to you, admiring his features. He has pretty blonde hair and captivating eyes. Your gaze lingers. And he notices.

"It's okay, don't worry." He says, smirking. "You got problems?" 

You sit back down, sighing, "Well, kinda, but what's it to you?" You continue nipping on your drink, not too sure of what to think of him. 

"Oh, nothing really, you just piqued my interest, dear," he says, "I mean, you just tried to cuss me out..." He fakes a hurt expression, swiftly changing back to his charming grin. 

He makes you smile a little, and you finally give in. "You want me to tell you about it, huh..." You take the final sip of your drink and put the glass back down. 

"Mhh, I bet it's interesting," he smirks, something glinting in his eyes. "Oh no, it's rather sad, honestly. Would you tell me your name first, though?" you ask, tilting your head slightly. You notice his fancy outfit, taking note of his extraordinary taste.

"Aventurine, pleasure to meet you..." - "y/n." - "Dearest y/n." 

They way Aventurine said your name made it sound oddly special. He certainly had a silver tounge. You feel your cheeks heat up, smiling a little wider, "Likewise, Aventurine." 

"Alright, y/n, tell me your story," he says and orders two more drinks for you both. You breathe and start telling him about your ex-fiance and how he treated you at the end of your relationship. He manipulated you and made you feel horrible. He used you as his personal servant, and every time you both went out, he belittled you and made you feel small. After a lot of thinking and gathering courage, you finally called off the engagement and left him. 

"And that's why you're so paranoid, I understand." He says, looking into your eyes. It makes you blush and feel slightly exposed. "Yeah... He's been following me, well, stalking me. Trying to get me to go back to him." Aventurine gently puts his gloved hand onto yours, and you admire his rings.

After a moment, you decided to break the silence, "Ah, but enough about me. What brings you here?" 

Aventurine hums, smiling once again, "Interested are we? But there's no special reason. I'm just here to gamble and I bet I'll win something good tonight."  He says it so nonchalantly like it's his daily life. It made sense, this is a casino after all. And there is this glint in his eyes again as he looks at you, clearly interested.

You both continue talking and order a few more drinks. The bartender watches you and probably has been listening in on your conversations but you, as well as Aventurine, pay it no mind. As the night progresses, you relax. 

However, just as you got comfortable, the alcohol playing its part, a tall figure enters the casino. You only noticed as he joins you and Aventurine at the bar, ignoring the latter. "Shit, that's him" you whisper, slightly nervous.

"Aventurine, could you help me out if he tries anything?" you feel insecure, basically asking a stranger to help you with your creepy ex. "Sure, I'll play along." Aventurine smiles. It was softer this time.

"Hey there, sweetheart, enjoying your night?" The guy on your right, your ex, says playfully, yet his face tells a different tale. He is annoyed, no, absolutely pissed off. "Oh, for the love of god, leave." you scowl. 

"Why should I? C'mon, I'm giving you one last chance to go back home with me, no consequences." he offers, but you know his disingenuous tone too well. "No way. Forget it. We are over." you deny him.

Looking to Aventurine for help, you blurt out, "And I'm already with someone who doesn't treat me like shit!" Proving your statement, Aventurine wraps his arm around you, his fingers grab your waist possessively. "Yes, that's right." 

"And who are you, peacock?" Your ex asks, looking at Aventurine with disgust, yet amusement.  "Aventurine, her lover," the blonde lies with ease, his face adorned with the usual smirk he wore so often that night.

"You whore, already sleeping around again? Have you forgotten who owns you?" he spits, insulting you like usual. The bartender starts to giggle. "Relax dude, they only just met. There's no way he would ever be with a gal like her." Aventurine shoots her a deathly glare and your ex laughs. 

"Oh my god, you are an embarresment. Get your lying ass out of here and come with me. And you, Aventurine, you should leave your dirty claws off of someone else's property." your ex scoffs.

"Ahaha... lovely but we're not playing pretend, are we?" Aventurine laughs and promptly pulls you onto his lap. You feel your stomach twist and heat creeps onto your cheeks. You now sit on his lap, facing him. You feel his soft breath on your neck as he pulls you to his chest.

"Right, darling?" You could feel his heartbeat quicken and Aventurine felt yours. "Of course not," you manage to breathe out. He lifts your chin with his gloved hand, you can feel the cold rings on your skin. They send shivers down your spine. 

Aventurine pulls you into a heated kiss, his soft lips moving against yours and you gasp in surprise, not expecting him to go so far. You melt into the kiss, completely giving in to the blonde. 

Your ex simply stares at you, his mouth slightly agape.  "Tch, that doesn't prove anything." Pretending it doesn't faze him, he rolls his eyes, the bartender scoffs as well and leaves.

You break the kiss, gasping for air. Aventurine smirks complacently and gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. "Whatever you say, friend." 

"Fine, have her. Just know that she is a filthy and unfaithful brat." With that, he turns around. "And this isn't over yet."

You let out a sigh of relief. He is finally gone. "What an asshole..." Aventurine mutters, making you realize what just happened.

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry! I asked for your help but you didn't have to go this far. I hope it didn't make you uncomfortable. I apologize! How could I ever thank you..." you ramble but Aventurine just cups your face and gives you a second, soft kiss. 

"No need to apologize, y/n. To be honest, I thoroughly enjoyed this night. It was certainly a nice surprise." He gently rubbed your cheek with his thumb, reassuring you. "As for how to thank me... There's no need." 

Your eyes widened, "Ah well, I'm glad you felt that way. But... Are you sure? You want nothing in return?" He shook his head, resting his other hand back on your waist. "Although, there is something you could do for me. If you want, that is." 

He grins mischievously. To be honest, he finds you alluring and wants to know get to know you. 

"Sure, what is it?" you ask, genuinely interested. "Spend the night with me."

#honkai star rail #aventurine x reader #hsr aventurine #hsr x you #x reader #x you #aventurine x you

[kurogane2512]

Hello! I just read your fluffy signora piece and im *sobs* then i remembered that alternate ending you made for cocolia back then and i was hoping if you could do something like a peek or oneshot of what her life is like on the express with the trailblazer?? Could be fluffy or smutty or both if you'd like <3 thank you!

Ofc, all I wanted was to see Cocolia become one of the protagonists for once (not counting ggz) and maybe join the Astral Express family 😔😭

18+ CONTENT

Game: Honkai Star Rail

Characters: HSR Cocolia x fem!reader (trailblazer)

Type: Fluff and smut (hc with drabble)

In the beginning, Cocolia doesn't interact much with other members except you. It wasn't surprising, she felt most comfortable with you and took some time to get used to others. She would do any chores she could find, mainly to appear useful and feel accepted by others.

March arguably showed most disdain for her, though she never had any malicious thoughts but March found it hard to trust her so quickly. Cocolia subconsciously treated March like her daughter. almost seeing Bronya in her. She actively made efforts to help March, they bonded over some common interests for makeup, food and even their powers.

Dan Heng continued to be cautious of Cocolia for some time, he didn't dislike her the way March did but he had to be completely sure she wasn't a threat anymore. Both of them spar together a lot, given their similar weapon types and capabilities. She was still the Supreme Guardian until some days ago, she was definitely not to be messed with. Dan Heng slowly feels she's a worthy partner and regularly trains with her.

Welt was his usual self. A little similar to Dan Heng, he also observed her but he analysed she was fine quicker than Dan Heng. They don't talk much, but they exchange strategies and intel. He may have subconsciously compared her to the Cocolia in his world, and he was glad to see they were different and also fascinated how people's alternate selves worked.

Himeko and Cocolia become besties you cannot tell me otherwise. Okay maybe not besties, but they definitely get together well. They have similar mind level, maturity, age and even interests. Their coffee breaks together are pleasant for Cocolia and help her settle into the Express easily. On top of that, both of them love teasing you by having you sit between them as they talk.

As for you? She loves you so much that she cannot put it into words, so she often uses her actions. In the beginning, she slept with you in your room a lot. She'd hold you close all night like her personal body pillow, you gave her so much peace and comfort that she never wanted to part.

"Dan Heng, have you seen Y/n and Cocolia around lately? I feel I haven't seen them since morning." Himeko asked one fine afternoon as she sat in the Express lobby and drank her coffee.

"No, I haven't seen them either. They must be in their rooms." Dan Heng replied.

"Strange... March, will you check up on them once?"

March agreed with a smile and went to check each of your rooms but came back to inform Himeko fairly quickly.

"Y/n's room was locked, I tried knocking and calling her but she didn't reply. I think she must be sleeping. Cocolia's room was locked too and she didn't answer either, but I faintly heard the shower running in her room so she must be in the shower." March replied.

Himeko pondered for a moment then a realization hit her, she smirked to herself before letting out a soft chuckle and continuing to sip her coffee. Both March and Dang Heng gave each other confused looks but didn't ask more and continued their own work. Of course, it didn't take long for Himeko to join 2 and 2 together after hearing what March told her.

You were currently in Cocolia's room, in her shower no less. She had you pinned against the wall, the warm shower running beside you while her lips intensely moved with yours. Your naked bodies pressed closely, her breasts squished against your chest as your arms wrapped around her waist. Soft moans and breaths slipped past your mouths, her knee was lodged between your thighs and slyly rubbed against your core.

"Mm... mmh...Y/n~" Cocolia moaned.

"L-Lia.... haa... wait...mmph~"

Cocolia smirked against your lips and her tongue swiped yours now, you parted your lips for her and your tongues engaged together in a heated exchange as she pressed herself deeper and rubbed her knee on your core more. You let out a strangled gasp, her cold fingers caressed your torso as she slid them down to your abdomen and grasped your clit.

"Aaah~ W-Wait...." you finally spoke as she released the kiss and buried her face in your neck to plant kisses and bites there.

"L-Let's not do it here.... ngh~"

"Oh, why not? Am I not cooling you off nicely? You were the one who said the water in your room was too hot~"

"Mmm... I did but... aaah~"

"Shh~ Just be a good girl and leave it all to me~"

Cocolia licked your lips as her fingers circled your clit, the coldness made you mewl and lean on her as she took full control of you. Soon after, you felt her fingers push inside and part your walls before touching your sensitive spots. You moaned loudly feeling her knuckles deep, 2 fingers lodged inside comfortably as if your walls were moulded for her. She softly bit your earlobe and thrusted her fingers in and out, hitting all your pleasure spots at once.

You arched off the wall and tightly held her, her tongue lapped up your collarbone while she continued thrusting her fingers. She scissored them now, alternating her movements before doing it all together and you were seeing stars now. Her thumb pressed and circled your clit simultaneously, your whimpers and moans echoing in the bathroom near her ear.

"That's it, that's my good girl. Doing so well for mommy~" she praised you and your walls clenched her fingers even tighter, indicating your release.

She held you tightly and braced against the wall, "Let it out for mommy, show me who's my good girl. Cum on my fingers~"

That did it for you, you held her and moaned loudly as you released. Your juices drenched her fingers as she pulled out, the essence sticking to her fingers as she licked them clean and patted your head affectionately. She closed the shower and proceeded to dry your body before her own, you watched her dry up and wrap a towel around herself when you suddenly picked her up bridal style. She was startled and almost gasped, desperately holding the towel close to cover herself as you gazed at her with a smirk.

"My turn now~"

She chuckled and nodded then wrapped her arms around your neck. You proceeded to walk out to the room when you suddenly heard the door open, you were sure you had locked it but completely forgot the one other person who would have spare keys.

"Ahem, Y/n, Cocolia, are you done with your bathing?~"

It was Himeko. She looked at you both with a devilish smirk watching how you carried Cocolia who was practically naked and only covered by a towel, while you yourself were only shielded by Cocolia's body.

"H-Himeko—?! Wait!" you gasped and turned away from her, Himeko let out a chuckle then proceeded to walk out and close the door.

"Meet me in the lobby after you are done, both of you. Seems I have to teach you some extra rules of the Express~"

You and Cocolia stared at each hearing Himeko's words before laughing together and Cocolia lovingly embracing you. Her life was drastically different now, but she was glad she chose this path with you if every day would pass in such a manner.

#honkai star rail #hsr x reader #honkai star rail smut #cocolia x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr cocolia #hsr smut #cocolia rand #cocolia smut

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Do you think Tom was the only student Dumbledore hated? I think Tom probably isn't the only Unfavorite Student and there are more out there that Dumbledore was successful at sabotaging.

(Side thought do you think Moody started out on Dumbledore's bad list but then worked very hard to "redeem" himself by trusting Dumbledore in all things and that's why he's so weirdly loyal to Dumbledore?)

Dumbledore and Hating People

The thing is that Tom Riddle does seem to hold a special place in Dumbledore's heart.

There are other characters we see who are also loathsome/have qualities that Dumbledore despises but it's in different ways/not to the same degree.

Dumbledore utterly loathes Lockhart, purposefully sets him up with the job so as to either destroy his reputation fundamentally or kill him. However, I'd say Dumbledore is contemptuous and dismissive of Lockhart. Dumbledore has 0 interest in the man beyond destroying him, and doesn't spend much time thinking about him beyond getting him in the castle and letting the curse do its work.

Dumbledore is dismissive and contemptuous of Cornelius Fudge, but again, doesn't focus on him much beyond pitying his shortsightedness and holding him in general contempt.

Dumbledore similarly doesn't love the Dursleys but it feels like that's in a way of he has 0 opinion or interest in Vernon and just... a very weird treatment of Petunia. I wouldn't even say he dislikes them, in fact, I think he likes the idea of them beyond the general disappointment in not treating Harry exactly the way he'd like (except they are doing that but he'll never say as much).

While we don't know that Dumbledore doesn't have stashes of memories he's painfully collected over the years, going to anyone who ever interacted with Tom Riddle and asking "please give me every memory you have ever had" only for the vast majority of them to slam the door in his face, given the focus he has on Tom Riddle it seems... unlikely...

Add this in with Tom's "dark glamour", the way Dumbledore talks about him, the way he pontificates about him as if he's a fictional character and Dumbledore is writing fanfiction and metas about the man, and we're looking at a... I'll call it a fixation where Tom hit all the right buttons for Albus Dumbledore in a way that other people just haven't.

Basically, the people we see Dumbledore hate just aren't hot enough (or are women so Dumbledore doesn't care).

I'll put it this way. Harry's easily Dumbledore's second fixation, he puts a lot of work into this boy, but Dumbledore's way less... into him is the only way I can put it, than Tom. Harry's there as a vehicle/means to destroy Tom and acts as a foil to Tom. Everything about Harry for Dumbledore is presented as "in contrast to Tom Riddle" and that's telling to me.

As for hating students...

I think most of the time Dumbledore just doesn't give a fuck.

With Draco who was actively endangering the student body, nearly killing several students to ultimately kill Dumbledore, and ultimately letting Death Eaters (including Fenrir fucking Grayback) into the castle where it's a miracle no one died/got lycanthropy Dumbledore was into it and a) knew the whole time b) did nothing to stop it because then Tom would hurt Draco. (It's too bad Katie Bell got cursed for six months in the process of that huh Dumbledore or you didn't approach Draco with that offer to give him clemency until the last five minutes of your life).

I doubt Dumbledore knows who Crabbe and Goyle even are.

And he seemed to favor the Marauders (rampant known bullies) and not care about Severus at the time and now thinks quite highly of Severus for having redeemed himself for love/following a narrative Dumbledore likes while also being unable to not do what Dumbledore wants.

He only cares about Ron and Hermione in relation to Harry and just likes the general idea of them (Dumbledore is very big on the "idea" of people).

Dumbledore and Moody

I don't think so.

We've seen the redemption story Dumbledore likes and that's Severus Snape's. Dumbledore likes a narrative, Moody having been disliked then just choosing to be a sycophant would be very unimpressive for Dumbledore because he'd see no reason for Moody to have changed/not an impressive enough reason.

It has to be for true love, friendship, some reason that is a compelling narrative to Dumbledore.

Everything for Dumbledore fits into these narratives from Merope dying in childbirth (she just didn't love enough), to Lily being murdered (she loved her son so much she sacrificed herself), to Snape (his love for her means he is now undyingly loyal to her son), to everything.

Plus, I don't get that feeling about Moody.

Dumbledore has plenty of people unquestioningly loyal to him, he cultivates the Order such that this is the case, it's not so much that Moody's an outlier for being so loyal but the fact that he is in the Order of the Phoenix at all means he must be this loyal to survive there (notice Percy is not a member). In the Order we're seeing the people who survived the litmus test of "actively not questioning Dumbledore in any decision he ever makes" (see HBP and the Christmas Party and shooting down of Harry's "Draco's up to something and Snape is too" for reasons that are simply "I trust Dumbledore completely" and nothing else).

If Moody wasn't like that, he wouldn't be in the Order.

So, I think Moody's just like the rest of them and I don't see a reason why he would have ever been different.

#harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcanon #albus dumbledore #anti albus dumbledore #tom riddle #alastor moody #the order of the phoenix #anti the order of the phoenix #meta #headcanon #opinion

[charliesgoodboy]

haiiiii sweetheart :3 how r u doin tonight??

I wanted to request a Tom x fem reader where readers all innocent and small and Tom tries to win her over by fucking her >:3 like imagine a small girl dressed all cutesy in all pastel and then this big strong man just shows up and tries to win her over >.<

it’s fine if you can’t :)

have a great rest of your day / night sweetheart <3

𝐭𝐨𝐦 𝐤𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐳

a female reader fic❤

you were so cute.

he loved hanging around you, always looking down at you and taking in your attire and the way you carried about yourself he loved it..loved the way your frilly skirts would fit on your figure, loved the colorful hairclips in your hair, you make up sent him over the edge.

but for the love of all things you were so damn oblivious. how could you just prance around all willy nilly around him like that? bending over so easily, jumping up and down when you got excited..he loved when you were happy, and it made him happy! a little too much..

when you hugged him or hang onto him it was far too much, when you'd stop him in the middle of the street as your eyes beamed at the kittens you saw in the window. "tom! tom, can we get one? please, please, please?" your voice was high which he liked when it got higher when you were excited. your arms pulling him down, and his eyes would wonder to the way your breasts would smoosh together. "uh-huh.." he hadn't even registered he said yes before you were already pulling him into the shop. damn it

not only did he like your make up, but god he loved watching you do it..he didn't wear make up and had zero interest in it but now? now he did. the way your body leaned up on its tip toes to see closer into the mirror as you applied the eye liner, your fingers so smooth as they held the eye liner stick. he wanted nothing more than to fuck it all off of you, to let all the eye liner and pretty pink lip gloss to smear off your face.

he couldn't take it anymore! it was driving him nuts. 'oh he's my friend!' 'oh yeah this is my friend tom! i wanted you to meet him!' he was done with it. "hush babydoll and keep your ass up like i told you." his hips were causing the wet skin slapping, his dick pounding relentlessly into you. you were supposed to be going out with him but you had to choose an outfit you thought was adorable. it was a very pretty pair of shorts that rode up your ass when you did the simplest thing, a thin strap tank top in which made your chest pop out more, and multiple accessories littered across the outfit and your hair.

the spaghetti strap was falling off your shoulders, your fingers gripping on for dear life. your fingernails glistened with the cute soft colors painted with polish. "fuck..thought you could go out dressed like that with me?" what if someone was to try and steal you from him? someone trying to take you away, you were his no one else could just have you.

your cunt was hot and sticky as the feeling of his cock was all that imprented in your mind, you've never felt this before, no ones ever done this to you and it felt so weird! your body has never felt so tingly all over, he was so good with it. his hand would make way to the back of your throat, your eyes rolling back and you looked so lovely..like tom had wanted, your eye make up was running down your face, your lip gloss smeared and your cheeks puffy from tears, you were so cute.

you swore you could see stars and clouds, you felt tom pull out and you finally thought it was all over. but his hand would only reach over as your dumbfouned eyes followed and his hands would open the drawer pulling out a condom packet. "ah..wish you could see your face.." he chuckled as he tore open the top with his teeth. "you thought we were done, huh?"

!!this was a draft before i changed my blog theme guys!! i have another fic coming soon

@tokio-motel @cherry-rawr @itsmealaiah @evieskiesss @20doozers

#tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel smut #tom kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz x reader #tokio hotel fluff #gustav tokio hotel #gustav x reader #georg listing smut #georg listing x reader #tokio hotel x female reader

[nervocat]

“Big Brother Sunday, What are you Thinking?” (cws: slight manipulation (only mentioned once), pretty major hsr 2.2 spoilers - wc: 340, platonic/angst, gn reader)

Sunday. He was an interesting man, one who people couldn't quite read — not even you or Robin, his younger siblings. He cared, sure, and was a great older brother, you just wondered what he thought.

Robin was away quite a bit, causing you to be with Sunday when he himself wasn't busy. You wandered the Dewlight Pavilion a lot when he was, not knowing what else to do.

You were young, about mid to late teens, yet Sunday still had some things over you. He had no ill will, you knew this, but you couldn't help but feel you were being manipulated in some way — lied to. You would be right.

Sunday, he who followed the “Order”. It was a shock, really. Robin and you wholeheartedly believed in the Harmony and you thought Sunday did too, but he had chosen a different path and went the wrong way about making a dreamscape for people to lose themselves in.

You couldn't help but not love him still though. He was your older brother, after all, and he never harmed you in any way. He took care of you and Robin, but was just led a stray.

“Big brother, what do you think about?” you'd ask him. He'd just laugh as he pats your head, ruffling it a bit with his usual smile adorning his lips. It always seemed softer around you and Robin and less forced (though that may just be you).

“They're thoughts for a reason, my dear sibling,” you smiled at him and playfully swatted his hand away, laughing with him.

And now you know what those thoughts were, but you wish you didn't.

You look at your brother, a frown on your face. Robin had already spoken to him, and you had decided you also wanted to talk with him before he went to the IPC for trial.

“Big brother Sunday, why?” the hurt in your voice stung Sunday a bit.

He didn't want his little siblings to see his thoughts like they did, but now they were out and about, so why not divulge you a bit?

[ ★ notes: idk why I'm having sm motivation to write platonic stuff but I'm not complaining :33 writing platonic Sunday angst 🙏🙏 HOPING I GOT HIS CHARACTER RIGHT.. I LOVE IT SM I DON'T WANNA MISCHARACTERIZE HIM 😰😰 I got less and less proud of this (kinda) as I went but it's not my worst 👍👍 feedback for this one is welcomed :,)) ]

★ — © nervocat || I appreciate any reblogs made, and pls don't repost or translate my works anywhere, ty — ✦

#🗯️ ͏— ⌗stars' tales . ★ #・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗ #hsr angst #hsr x gn reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x gn reader #honkai star rail x reader #sunday x reader #platonic hsr x reader #platonic hsr #platonic honkai star rail #strictly platonic #platonic angst

[zaceouiswriting]

Under the Alpha's gaze

Characters: Theo Raeken x Liam Dunbar, Male Reader (Theo's older Alpha brother) x Liam Dunbar, Male reader (Theo's older Alpha brother)x Theo Raeken

Universe: Somewhere in Teen Wolf

Warnings: Smuttish, Incestuous

You were groggy waking up. Pissed off that your sleep got interrupted, you rolled to the side and slammed your hand onto your alarm clock, smashing it into bits. Feeling it breaking and hearing the pieces landing all over the place, you groaned in deep annoyance. You didn’t want to stand up, but now you were forced.

You rolled over to the edge and stood up, eyes mostly closed, even though the room was as bright as day since you had forgotten to close the shutters. Exhausted, you mumbled incoherent words. When you got to a certain cabinet, you opened it and pulled out another clock—one of dozens.

But instead of putting it on the side table, you threw it on the bed because, out of nowhere, you urgently needed to go to the toilet.

Wiping your face with your hand, you walked to the door, opened it, and then, outside the room, stumbling towards the bathroom, you opened the door without a second thought. Inside, you saw some of your fraternity brothers doing it. Nothing new or strange. So you just went in, apologized, and mostly ignored them. You let your sweatpants fall to the floor, put the toilet seat up, and groaned in satisfaction as you finally managed to empty yourself. You constantly felt eyes on you, which was also nothing new.

When you were done, you put yourself away again, pulling up your pants, and as you walked past the two boys, you slapped the top's ass like you normally would, complementing his firm cheek. Right next to them, you apologized as you reached for the water beneath the bottom. After washing your hands, you looked in the mirror for a second and noticed that the couple had stopped moving.

When you took a step back, you knew why. You took the left leg of the bottom and carefully lifted it, not knowing how flexible he was. But to your amazement, it was easy for you to get his leg up onto the counter. Not wanting to appear curious, you lightly pressed the guy's back and his neck.��

As you looked at your masterpiece, you smiled and wished the two of them a lot of fun as the top could penetrate much deeper. After you left quickly to avoid awkwardness, you went downstairs instead.

As you wandered into the kitchen and made yourself a cup of coffee, a feeling of dread slowly filled your veins as you looked around. You noticed pictures of your family everywhere, including your mostly absent parents and your brother, Theo. 

You were in a daze, and before you knew it, you found yourself standing in front of the bathroom door again. As you opened it, you peered inside the room without stepping in, staring at the people inside in amazement.

“(Y/N)?” Theo asked, audibly uncomfortable.

“Theo,” you replied, smiling smugly, just staring at them. You watched with great interest how your brother's boy toy's ass squirmed and Theo's grip on his waist tightened.

"Can you... you know, leave us alone?"

“Nope, can’t do, little brother.” With an even more smug smile than before, you looked at him, taking a sip of your coffee as if nothing strange was happening.

You saw Theo throw his head back and groan in annoyance. It made you smile as you realized that you could tease him in different ways, this time worse than any before. Because no one liked being interrupted while fucking.

“But I have to admit I’m surprised,” you said casually. It piqued Theo's interest, causing him to turn his head in your direction while still thrown back. "I didn't think you'd... you know, stick it in?"

Stunned, your brother stared at you for a second longer before his head snapped back into place. “You thought I was the bottom?”

“I mean... I wouldn't have said it like that, more like... you know... a little bit of both? Maybe more to the joys of your bottom?”

“So, a bottom?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” As you take another sip of coffee, you just stand there as if you were the annoyance reincarnated, just like you as the older brother had to be. You let your gaze wander to the naked boy that your brother was obviously still inside. "And who are you? Just a booty call, his boy toy or his boyfriend? Maybe a little of all three?"

“Dude!” Theo tried to interrupt, but you just put your finger before your lips.

“Theo, mind your manners. Can't you see that I'm holding a conversation here?” Shaking your head, you looked back at your brother's visibly uncomfortable fuck buddy. "Can you believe this? I swear Theo has never been this rude. Okay, he is rude a lot, but not to this extent. Please don't leave him because of this! I'm sure it would break his little heart."

Something in Theo must have snapped at your condescending tone as he suddenly pulled out of his boy toy rather roughly and turned toward you. "His name is Liam Dunbar and he's my boyfriend, is that all, can we go back to what we were doing before you interrupted us?" His fists were clenched at his sides, you clearly angered him.

But the last name rang bells in your head. It took a moment, but you remembered. “Is this the Dunbar?” you asked, surprised but still smug. "The one you haven't kept your mouth shut about since you were twelve?" you asked Theo, but he just started to blush, giving you another angle from which to tease him. You turned to Liam again with a mischievous grin. “Did you know he has a book about you in his bedroom? He wrote down every single interaction you two had and even pasted pictures in it when-"

Theo suddenly jumped forward, only to put his hands over your mouth to silence you. He closed his eyes and clearly felt the embarrassment rising, as you could see the top of his back turning red, followed by his ears and cheeks. Even though you found the sight cute, you still had to reprimand him for acting so boldly, not only towards his older brother but towards Alpha as well.

So when Theo opened his eyes again, you weren't standing before him. You could sense his shock as his scent changed drastically. Certainly afraid you'll get the book. But you were in the same room instead. He went to close the door and sighed in relief, only to yelp when he saw you behind Liam.

“I have to say, he’s a real catch, Theo,” you whispered softly in Liam’s ear, knowing your brother could hear you. "A firm body, a nice ass, maybe a little flat, but nothing that a little training couldn't change." As you feel his body, you never break eye contact with Theo and grin widely. Just to give Liam a feel for your cock by pressing it against his spread ass cheeks. The moan you elicited from his lips was nothing short of intoxicating, but you were immune to it since he wasn't the first.

You stepped back from Liam and gave him a nice slap, eliciting another moan from him and leaving a red mark behind.

As you were about to pass Theo, you stopped and stared straight into his eyes. His body was still facing the door while only his head was facing you. But even from there, towering over him, you could see something interesting. Your still-present grin turned malicious. Without him seeing it, your hand wrapped around Theo's still-hard cock. You stroke it gently.

“What are you-“

“I wonder what’s keeping you hard,” you interrupted in an authoritative voice that stopped him from saying anything. “Is it an exhibitionist streak or your infatuation with me?” In a panic, Theo tried to deny it, but you stopped him with your other hand. “I know what you did three years ago,” you continued to whisper, “how you jerked me off when I was sound asleep. How shameful for Raeken to be so needy and desperate for his older Alpha brother.“

You could see air being pushed out of his lungs as if he had been punched in the gut. Suddenly your eyes softened as you saw tears welling up in the corners of his hazel orbs. Carefully, you pulled his chin closer, bent his head down, and kissed his forehead.

“Never forget that I love you, little brother. Maybe not as much as you love me, but I value you above all else. My door is always open for you.”

You could see Theo shedding tears, something you had never seen before. He's usually a proud young man. You knew you had to take him down a peck or two. But the smell of the pure arousal he radiated from just standing near you made you believe he would do it all on his own.

However, before you could leave the couple alone, there was still something you had to do. You place your hand on your brother's chest and slowly slide it over his meaty abs.

“You can keep your precum to yourself, you horny little brat,” you whispered as you walked past Theo. But you stopped at the door for the last time after you opened it. “Hey, Dunbar!” When you called, the boy, still partially on the counter, looked at you in a daze. “If you ever get tired of that sarcastic smartass, you know where to find me.” You saw him blush as you winked at him. You then turned to your brother. “And if you want to know where you belong in our pack, you also know where to find me.”

When you left them alone, you didn't close the door, you left it wide open, knowing full well that nobody else would come there as Theo was in your care since you usurped the pack, humiliated your parents and threw them out. For the terrible parents, they had always been. Walking whistling back to your room you heard moans before you could even reach your door. Smiling and shaking your head, all you could think about was what a horny brat your sweet little brother had become. 

As you entered your bedroom, you could still clearly hear their moans. As you sat down at your desk to do some work for your pack and the pack's company, you suddenly realized you had left your coffee in the occupied bathroom. Groaning, you got up again to get another coffee, as you didn't want any special ingredients inside it.

***

A few days after the confrontation with you, Theo was sitting in his room with his boyfriend snuggled against his chest, seated on his lap. He was reading to him while simultaneously stroking his back. Since that day, Liam has been acting strangely and seemed more distant. Although it wasn't overly negative, he appeared to be deeper in thought than usual.

The scene was serene until Liam opened his mouth. “Do you ever think about your brother?” he asked suddenly.

But to Theo, it seemed like a normal question. “Of course,” he replied casually, “he’s my brother. He played with me when we were younger, didn’t go to parties because he wanted to be with me, and even babysat me a lot, why?”

Liam fell silent again, obviously nervously playing with his fingers. “I didn’t– That’s not–" He sighed heavily, "Just forget it.”

Theo quickly caught on to Liam's train of thought. He closed his back with a heavy look. “Yes,” he replied again. "When you have a brother like mine, all you think about is having rough sex with him. He's a great guy, handsome, and all-around perfect. Growing up with him was hard. I was hard all the time. When he walked around naked after showering or waking up in tight briefs and, worst case scenario, tight swimming trunks, completely covered in glistening water, I jerked off to that image for years!”

“I want to have sex with your brother,” Liam suddenly blurted out. But contrary to what he thought, Theo just chuckled.

“I think I can do something about it,” he murmured into Liam’s hair, groping his ass vigorously. "But remember, you're mine!" He flashed his ice-blue Beta eyes, which reacted with Liam's own, which glowed a dark blue, showing the slight difference in their hierarchy status.

As Theo hungrily went in for a kiss, all he could think about was your reaction to his suggestion. He hoped you were willing to do that since he would do anything to have sex with you, even if it meant giving up his own boyfriend to you in return.

[Masterlist]

#smut #theo raeken x male reader #x male reader #male reader #teen wolf x male reader #teen wolf #liam dunbar x theo raeken #theo raeken imagine #theo raeken #liam dunbar imagine #liam dunbar #liam dunbar x male reader #teen wolf imagine #male reader imagine

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for how I handled the end of a relationship?

i genuinely thought it was simply communication struggles, and some shitty chance circumstances, but some of my friends thought i was a dick about it, so here we go.

I (16 M) started talking to this girl, let's call her K (16 F), last summer. we bonded over shared interests (zelda, mostly) and some shared trauma. without getting into it, we both helped each other through some very hard times. a month or two after we met, she asked me to homecoming (school dance). at the time, i was unsure of my sexuality, but I'm a pretty touchy/flirty person in general, and i guess we had been flirting. anyways, i ended up saying yes, and i genuinely thought i liked her romantically.

anyways. school starts up again, and we decided to call once a week, because we live a decent distance apart, and didn't see each other in person. over the course of these calls, i started to realize that i really wasn't sure if i knew what romantic love was, if i felt it for her, and stuff along those lines, but i always said "i love you" and stuff like that. now, about a month into us dating, it really hit me that i did not actually like her romantically, and that i simply felt very strong friendship feelings for her. i confessed this to her, telling her that i thought i was aromantic.

and that's where i fucked up. i told her that although I didn't romantically like her, i felt more than platonically toward her, something along the lines of queerplatonic, and said i would be okay with it if we kept dating, as long as she knew i didn't romantically like her. she agreed.

I don't know if she fully understood, at the time, but it ended up not mattering. about a month later, I brought K to my school's homecoming dance. she met all of my friends, and we had a lot of fun. but the big thing that happened was that i was struck very aggressively by the fact that i liked another friend of mine (X, 17 M) probably romantically, definitely aesthetically, possibly sexually. This led me to realize that i was, in fact, gay and some form of aromantic. (X still does not know i feel this way about him)

I didn't tell K the night of homecoming. Three days later, i was freaking out really badly ahout being in his relationship i probably should've ended already, and i texted her and told her i couldnt handle a relationship and that i was probably gay but that i still wanted to stay friends with her.

at the time, K seemed super chill with it, but i found out later from a mutual friend that she was actually super upset. K and i have talked about it since, and she doesn't seem upset anymore, and i think i was just doing the best i could with what i knew at the time and trying not to hurt anyone, but another friend of mine thinks i was a dick about everything.

so, Tumblr, AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole

[underprivilegedcactus]

Something has been niggling at the back of my mind about Gale and his falling out with Mystra for a while now.

Before we begin, I feel the need to put a disclaimer here and say that I love Gale to pieces and even if this thing I've been thinking about turned out to be canon, I still want to drop kick Mystra. But like I said, a though occured to me about the circumstances of their break up.

In short, what if their breakup wasn't because Gale didn't listen to Mystra when she told him to not go after the piece of the weave he thought was hers? What if, instead, it was the final straw after a long history of Gale going after sources of power that Mystra repeatedly told him to leave alone?

Ignoring the fact that wizards are pushed to always aim higher anyways, we know that Gale is someone who has always sought out more power, opinions of (most) others and consequences be damned. How many terrifyingly powerful objects ended up in his tower because Mystra mentioned them and he decided to collect them? How many did she emphatically tell him to leave alone because they were too dangerous? How many times did he nearly cause a disaster because he assumed that because he was the mighty Gale of Waterdeep, it wouldn't go wrong? How many times did Mystra or Elminster have to save his ass?

To be clear, even if this is the truth it still doesn't justify her treatment of him, but to me it would make a bit more sense as to why she ghosted him after he absorbed the orb. It's still on brand for her to do that after one big disaster, but cutting off all contact is frankly a bit extreme for a first offense, regardless of the magnitude of the failure. But if the orb came after a series of situations where she told him to leave stuff be or to be more patient and he repeatedly refused to listen to her, I think even I would be pissed off enough to not want to talk to him either, at least not for a while.

No one appreciates having their knowledge and advice repeatedly ignored, especially if you are literally the primary source on all things magic. The literal Goddess of Magic told him this was neither something she wanted nor was it something that Gale was equipped to handle, and Gale thought he knew better anyways. And I know there's a million fair reasons as to why Gale is the way he is, the least of which is from going through the Gifted Person (TM) experience where you're told all your life that you're special and head and shoulders above your peers. It's still harmful to believe you know better than people objectively more qualified.

Unfortunately, this can be hard to see under how vile Mystra is to him. I'll probably write about that soon in another novel of a post, but I just wanted to throw out a potential angle that some people might have missed when it comes to Mystra and Gale's breakup. Again, it's not canon, and it's not even my own personal headcanon or anything, but it is something that's come to mind when thinking about their relationship and how it ended. I still love Gale, and if anything this just adds a really interesting potential layer to his backstory.

P.S.: It has also occured to me that Gale was extraordinarily lucky that whatever magical seal he broke when he opened the book didn't just immediately cause the Karsus weave to detonate right then and there and kill thousands of people in Waterdeep. Gale's mistake was honest, but it was an extremely foolish one and entirely preventable.

P.P.S: Editing some typos and also wholeheartedly agreeing that Gale wasn't only looking for raw power, but knowledge and pushing the boundaries of the weave! ☺️

#gale dekarios #bg3 #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep #gale x tav

[billpottsismygf]

Space Babies! Weird episode, but it had a charm. I had already prepared myself for the fact that RTD's era was notoriously camp and weird, and that I would for the first time be experiencing new episodes by him as an adult rather than as a 9-13 year-old, so it's not news to me that there would be some campy nonsense with a deeper message, and that this might be more jarring than I'm used to. The deeper themes were really thrown out (refugees, anti-abortion hypocrisy, genocide, capitalism) without being dwelt on, but that's not necessarily a problem.

The babies themselves were... a little unnerving? The mouth movements were quite uncanny, along with their voices and the general "I love you, Ruby!" of it all. I've just now made the connection that the latter puts me in mind of adverts for baby dolls.

The gunky snot monster felt very early 2000s British children's TV. If you weren't there for that, just know there was so much slime; think Slitheen exploding. I am very glad it got rescued. Nice message with the Doctor not usually running from things just because they look scary and, even though this is a creature specifically manufactured to be scary, it still deserves a shot at life.

It feels like a strange story to start with because I suspect it'll have mixed reviews. I would think you'd want a slightly more solid episode to draw people in with. Anyway, there was still a lot of thought put into making this a proper jumping off point with all its Doctor Who 101 stuff. Funny for a long-time viewer hearing it all rattled off in record time, but important to establish for new people, and I do think it's important for the show to remain accessible to people who haven't been obsessing over it for twenty years or more.

As a jumping off point, it very specifically reminded me of The End of the World. There's the big observation deck on a space station where the new companion, in her second episode and first off-world adventure, gets her phone updated so she can call her mum, in particular. The parallels to Rose are interesting, especially with the lecture the Doctor gives Ruby about how they can't travel back to meet her missing parent(s).

Speaking of that, there's some intrigue there with the snow appearing and the memory changing. I didn't like the Doctor doing a DNA scan of Ruby without her knowledge. It feels very 11th Doctor, especially when he literally scanned Amy and withheld medical information, but also the way he treated all his female companions as mystery boxes to solve without telling them. I guess we'll see what that's all about at a later point.

I'm still not completely sold on Millie Gibson, but Ncuti Gatwa is wonderful, and I do really appreciate their chemistry.

Small things:

Jocelyn was a good character, and the Nan-E filter made me laugh several times.

That place name before the Doctor turned the translation circuits off was absolutely not in English. Slightly weird way to phrase that line if it's going to be called Pacifico del Rio.

This is a very early point in the series for Ruby to get a TARDIS key! We're really speedrunning the usual steps here.

#doctor who #mine #space babies #doctor who spoilers #dwspoilers #dwmine #reactions #rereading this before I post and now 'gunky snot monster' has triggered the chris ramsey 'gunky slime vase' soundbite from taskmaster #dwe15

[ishcliff]

something interesting about canto VI to me is the way the structure of the story revolves around heathcliff's self-esteem, and that's actually a part of why i don't really regard the conclusion favorably.

the lead-up to and introduction of the canto starts with heathcliff revealing his insecurities. it's not entirely his will; his reactions are difficult for him to control, and his vulnerability is very hard on him. he deals with teasing in his direction inelegantly, and is easily torn down by virtually any criticism in his direction. he is fragile and needs support, and eventually he does get it as the sinners recognize he needs people on his side as he approaches a great personal difficulty.

and with their support, he has a moment of clarity, where he sees himself as someone who has grown past what the estate represents to him. the ways he was demeaned, debased, and devalued just by virtue of growing up in wuthering heights didn't matter. he looks into the eyes of his most prolific abuser and feels an empowering sense of pity, and recognizes the worthlessness of those who hurt him. he is the man who he thought he had to become to be better than what he thought catherine saw him as. the "revenge" or "reckoning" he sought to bring to wuthering heights was successful; he exists on his own legs without them.

and then, this confidence is ripped from under him. he is so upset by the news of catherine's passing that he threatens to kill himself and everyone around him. the support that was vital to him is mostly useless, and it's only through physical violence that he can be reached. first with getting knocked out, then with the battle against his distortion. the lead-up to the distortion is further deconstruction of heathcliff's monumental successes as a survivor of lifelong abuse. the erlking teaches him that he is worthlessness embodied, and that his successes mean nothing because they did nothing positive for catherine.

and catherine's memories lend to this view the erlking has, where she 1) on their first meeting, stakes claim on heathcliff when she realizes hindley doesn't "want him", and 2) tells nelly that heathcliff has nothing without her, while off-screen he is experiencing the empowering character development he later reveals as described above.

the usage of his ego at the end of part 2 is, seemingly, pointed; he wants to put himself into the bag, drag himself to hell, and show himself endless suffering. then this is capped with his distortion, where he regards himself as a mindless beast and an utter fool of a man for thinking he could possibly grow as a person. and that no matter what strides he makes, no matter what miracles he witnesses, they are worthless without catherine.

once his sanity is mostly restored, the canto continues with explaining his foolishness. his reason for even having the character development he previously prided himself on is made into a simple misunderstanding, something that simply would not have happened had he listened a moment longer. and heathcliff cherishes this. and he looks at all of the lives he lives when catherine is erased, each unique and diverse and shows all the people he could become without her, internalizes it all, and decides still that none of it is worth it. everything is for catherine, as it always should have been. as demian explains, a garden is worthless in the eyes of someone who loves only one rose.

it is extremely romantic. a beautiful gesture of devotion, and the idea of soulmates. but in the specific context of heathcliff's character development, it feels a bit like a pit. a man who was forced into servitude in his own home deciding on his own terms that his independence is worthless is a tragedy in his own source material, but in this, it is romantic. and the ego that was, again, seemingly a pointed comment on how heathcliff views himself, now has a line about his devotion to catherine.

it would be different, if the worlds were truly like the erlking, every catherine, and nelly said. but the mirror world that shows the happiness of heathcliff and catherine together (an even more explicit reference to hareton and catherine 2) disproves their arguments, and dissolves the erlking's aggression in his last moments. the entire point of the canto is, seemingly, about how it never needed to exist to begin with. and therefore, heathcliff's sense of closure isn't a victory so much as it is just another thing that happens to him, and a peek into his next struggle.

it feels confusing, and ultimately despite being a lifelong fan and dedicated reader and writer of romance, i find myself not compelled. and as a fan of heathcliff in limbus company, his arc being upended and the meaning of it getting neutered by the ultimate pointlessness of it leaves me dissatisfied.

#canto vi spoilers #canto vi part 3 #lcb heathcliff #limbus company meta

[guessimwritingficsagain]

I didn't know what I wanted (until I wanted you)

Summary : You save Joel Miller's life on patrol. He owes you and you really wanna suck his dick. And maybe at some point you both fall in love. Joel Miller/Reader.

Warnings : Mature content, MDNI, pining, references to anal.

Tags : Just ask.

———

It was a beautiful, sunny day, when you made the decision. You didn’t know why that was what got your attention- but the sun was shining, no clouds in the sky, and you could feel a slight breeze on your skin. 

That was a lie. 

You knew why the weather got your attention. 

Everything would have gotten your attention, today, because Joel Miller owed you and you were about to collect and that put you on edge, skin sensitive, fingers drumming nervously on your thigh. 

Because the whole thing was about to go very right, or very wrong.

———

It had been a nasty affair, the two of you surrounded by four clickers. Killing the first two had been no problem but the third had been a bit of a beast, with you trying not to get overwhelmed by fear. When you finally got it, you found Joel struggling with the fourth one. 

Its teeth really too close to Joel’s neck. 

You put a knife in its throat before it could sink its teeth in Joel. 

That’s when he grunted :

I owe you for that one. 

When Jackson came into view, he insisted :

‘Seriously, you need anything, you come to me. ’s the least I can do after you savin’ my skin out there.’

When your shower started leaking you asked for his help, and, as an afterthought, a joke really, you said to him : 

‘Thanks, guess your debt is paid.’

Joel grunted, shook his head. Apparently a leaking shower was no match for saving someone from a clicker and he took his debt very seriously. 

And you’d watched him, you’d watched the muscles on his back moving as he easily fixed your shower, entranced by how skilled he was. Confident. Fingers thick and strong around the tools, clearly knowing what he was doing. 

It gave you an idea, all that. 

An idea that could very wrong. Or right.

———

Joel opened the door with a surprised grunt - his favorite way of communication, grunting.

‘Want somethin’ to drink ?’ He asked, already on his way to the kitchen.

‘Actually, I’ve come to collect.’

‘Collect ?’

‘Your debt.’

He froze, shoulders tense, body ready to snap and after a second, turned around :

‘What do y’need, did someone hurt you ? Tell me and I’ll-‘

‘I want to suck your cock.’ You interrupted. 

Plain and simple. Easy. Wrong, also, that was not exactly what you wanted. But Joel was watching you, his face blank, so you added :

‘Actually, no, that’s not quite right. I want you to fuck my mouth. If you’re interested.’

You shrugged, then, as if you were not casually propositioning your favorite patrol partner. You watched him swallow, switch on his feet, his gaze purposely away from you. And just as you thought you were about to get a very awkward but polite dismissal you heard 

‘You want me to fuck your mouth ?’

You shrugged, said yes. 

A beat of silence, then

‘How is that me payin’ my debt to ya, darlin’ ?’

‘Because I really want to.’ You answered. ’’Cause it’ll make me happy.’ 

Joel moved, then. Went to sit on the couch. 

‘Lock the door, will y’a ?’

You did and turned around to see him legs spread, a space between them just for you. 

‘You wanna be dressed for this or you wanna take your clothes off ?’ He asked, head slightly tilted to the side, eyes assessing you like he hadn’t really seen you before. 

Your answer was a breathy

‘However you like it.’

He hummed, looked at you a bit more, and then 

‘Off. Take them off, darlin’’.

Your undressing was not for show- a quick, desperate thing, that was stopped by Joel as you were about to remove your underwear :

‘You’re wet ?’ He asked. 

You nodded. 

He hummed again. 

‘Keep ‘em on, the panties.’ 

You sank down on your knees and reached for his belt buckle, freed his cock and took a second, there, to assess his size and wet your mouth, collecting saliva to make sure to make it good for him, both hands on his thighs. 

‘If you want me to fuck that mouth of yours, Darlin’, you’re gonna put your hands behind your back and open that sweet little mouth and take it.’

You nodded, did exactly as asked and felt his hand on the back of your head, pushing you forward. You opened up, ready for it, when the pressure stopped and you heard

‘Is this really gonna make you happy ?’ 

You looked up to see his eyes looking far away, intent at not looking at you. 

‘Joel’ you muttered, ‘you are going to shove that dick down my throat and I will come, trust me. I really really want that.’ 

So he did. He pushed, and you welcomed the big, fat heat of him into your mouth. One of your hands instantly went to your cunt, inside your underwear, and you shoved two fingers inside yourself as he lead your head into a rhythm that had you gagging a bit. You let yourself feel the weight of his cock, let yourself get lost in the back and forth his hand was forcing his hand to do until he ripped his cock from you and asked :

‘You touchin’ yourself ? You really doin’ that ?’

Your answer was a whiny please Joel and he shoved his dick back into your mouth, bringing your head down as he thrusted his hips up. You came without warning, rubbing yourself to the frantic rhythm of Joel slamming his cock in and out, your orgasm sneaking up on you when Joel babbled 

God, I’m gonna come. I’m gonna- You need to get off, I’m gonna-

And came into your mouth, salty, sweaty, sticky, and you swallowed it all, and kept his dick into your mouth for a beat, you breathing heavily through your noise while he matched your pace, mouth open, head laid back on the couch. 

When you let his cock out of your mouth he asked :

‘You came, right ? ‘Cause if you didn’t we gotta make it right.’

You considered lying, because the idea of whatever he was thinking felt good, but you shook your head, instead, and got up on shaky legs. He hooked a finger in your underwear to keep you in place. Tugged slightly. 

‘Give them to me. Your panties.’ 

You laughed at that, thankful for the absence of awkwardness, and took your underwear off as you answered :

‘You’re a dirty old man.’

He laughed :

‘Baby, you’re the one who saved my life and asked me to fuck your throat as a favor. I’d say you’re the dirty one.’ 

Stark naked in front of him, you took a second to look at him, still dressed, cock out, as he took a second to look at you. You climbed on the couch, then, knees on each side of his frame, caught his jaw, and slowly kissed him before saying thank you. 

You dressed and left. 

———

Patrol with Joel was always quiet, and today was no exception, until 

‘You suck a lot of dicks in Jackson ?’ 

It was said in a very matter-of-fact kind of way, no judgement at all. Curiosity, really. He was watching right ahead, unbothered, as your horses rode along each other. 

‘Nah’, you answered truthfully. ‘You’re the first one.’

He hummed. A beat, then 

‘Wanna do it some more ?’

‘Suck your dick ?’ You asked, genuine (and you wouldn’t admit it but the idea of doing anything with Joel Miller got your really fucking wet so you would say yes to anything but he didn’t need to know that). 

‘Everythin’’, He answered, simply, like he didn’t make your insides burn. ‘I have a feelin’. I have a feelin’ you like being told what to do, right ?’ 

And fuck, fuck, you were- he was right but you were there on patrol riding a horse and he made you wet just saying that.

You nodded and he went on, never really looking at you, jut scanning his surroundings :

‘Listen, I might not be the best option for you. I’m not the best option for anyone. But you wanna someone who has demands, and I have a bunch. We do this ? You take what I give when I give it and however I give it, alright ?’ 

Jesus fucking Christ. 

You nodded again. 

‘Words.’ He demanded, sternly.

‘Yeah, okay.’ You muttered. 

He assessed you for a moment, wistful. 

‘You wet, right now ? Did I make you wet ?’

‘Yeah, you did.’

‘Show me.’

Your brain stopped, at that. Show him ? Joel was just looking at you, patient. After a beat, you fumbled with your belt and dipped two fingers into your wet cunt. When you took your hand out of your pants he grabbed your wrist, inspected the fingers, and demanded :

‘Clean them up.’

And maybe your brain had been rewired because without question you brought your fingers to your mouth and sucked on them. The second they left your mouth a hand grabbed your wrist and put your fingers in his mouth. When he let you go, he asked : 

‘You touch yourself a lot ?’

Startled, you answered a shy yes. 

‘How ?’ He pressed. 

‘I- I like to have- I like to have a toy ? There’s no battery but I like the feeling, and so- well I have the toy inside and I touch myself.’

‘What do you touch ?’

Here he was, Joel Miller, asking you how you got off, looking around, on patrol, like he was talking about the weather.

‘My- my clit. I touch it.’

‘With the toy inside.’

‘Yes- yes, with the toy inside.’

Joel hummed, pondered, and announced 

‘When we go home, you’re gonna go to yours, get undressed. I want you on your bed. No toy this time. I’ll put my fingers in you, to help. But you’re gonna show me how you like it. You gonna touch yourself for me and show me.’

———

You’re surprisingly at ease when Joel showed up. You were as he’d asked, naked, on the bed- trembling with anticipation. The look on his face when he walked through the door-

‘Oh, baby. Wanna touch yourself ?’ He cooed. 

Except you didn’t want to. You wanted his cock. You wanted him and you said so. 

‘No, baby’ he shook his head, stern, ‘I told you, I’m gonna take care o’ you but it’s how I want it, when I want it.’

‘Besides’, he added, sliding in between your open legs, ‘how can I treat you right if I don’t know exactly how you like it ?’

He took your hand, then, and put it between your legs.

‘Touch yourself like you’re alone.’ He demanded. ‘Promise I’ll help but I need you to show me.’ He cooed, a cheek resting on your thigh. 

So you did what he’d asked, you started touching yourself and you were so, so far gone that-

A hand grabbed your wrist.

‘You’re not very gentle with that pussy of yours’, Joel tutted. 

‘You wanted to see how I liked it’, you managed to gasp. 

‘Change of plan, then’ He answered, face serious, taking away your hand. The two fingers he put inside you made you almost cry. 

‘You gonna get your hand back here and you’re gonna go slow.  Slow, you understand ? And while you do that you gonna tell me what you like, starting’ with the fact that you like to do what you’re told. Understood ?’

You nodded, and there was a thought, somewhere, not even a warning but a fact : that man has made me dumb. Could do whatever.

Could do whatever but you trusted him.

Slowly, you circled your clit, and, voice shaking, started :

‘I like to do what I’m told.’

Joel nodded, eyes on your pussy.

‘What else, baby ?’

‘I like- I- spanking ?’

‘Sounded like a question, baby.’

You shook your head, your fingers stopping for a second on your clit.

‘No, I like it, I just don’t know what you like so it’s just- it’s weird you know.’

You shrugged, an awkward thing considering you had a hand between your legs and Joel had two fingers in your pussy. He shook his head, though :

‘Not weird. Wanna know what I like ? Wanna please me ?’ 

You nodded, eagerly, until a harsh slap on your hip made you jump. 

‘Not a very good listener, are you ? I told you : you’re gonna take how I want it and when I want it, and I wanna know exactly what you like. Because that’s what I like. So let’s start again, baby, from the beginning. What do you like ?’

‘I- I like- I like to be told what to to’, you answered, your hand back between your legs. ‘I like to be spanked. Could you please-‘

God, how could you be cock-dumb without a cock ?

You took a breath and added, your voice breathy :

‘Could you spit on me, please ?’

‘Spit where ?’ Joel seemed really unbothered by all this, and it was unfair.

‘My pussy- please, spit on it.’

‘What, you think you’re not wet enough ?’

‘No- no, but I want it.’

Joel took your wrist again, and asked :

‘So, that’s a thing you like ?’

You tried to shake yourself out of his grip while you mumbled :

‘Yes, yes I like it.’

As he din’t let go you admitted :

‘I like it. I like you spitting on me.’

And he spit. Your fingers worked you clit again and somehow from then on it was like something so tremendous was building inside of your that you had no control over yourself-

‘Anal, I like it- I mean anal play.’

‘You don’t want my cock inside, then.’ He answered, his face still between your thighs. And you shook your head, because the truth was that Joel Miller could put his cock wherever he wanted- he’d have no complaints from you.

When you came, you came hard.

———

When it happens, you don’t see it coming. 

It’s a quiet affair, Joel and you. You think- you assume- he doesn’t want to talk about it. Doesn’t want people to know. You think he’s fucking other people, and maybe you should too. Maybe you should get it out of your system, this whole stupid ‘I’m in love with Joel Miller’ thing. 

You’re at the Bison when it happens. Tommy, Maria, Ellie and Joel are having dinner at a table and you’re- well, you’re on your own, so you go straight to the bar, sit there and order a drink. And then a man, called James or Jim, you’re not sure you know, starts talking to you. 

He’s nice.

Too nice. 

Probably missionary-only.

You talk for a few minutes but when he takes a step closer to you, that’s when it happens.

A hand wraps itself on your hip, and slowly moves to grasp your ass. You don’t recoil because you recognize it- the warmth of it and the sheer size of it. A kiss is pressed to your temple as Joel says :

‘Hey Baby, we’re waiting for you.’

Jim-or-James immediately leaves and you’re left with Joel, whispering against your temple :

‘What the fuck was that ?’

You want to answer

What the fuck are we ? 

But he continues :

‘Wanna make me jealous, baby ? Staying out there at the bar, talking with men who have no business talkin’ to you instead of joining us ?’

You shrug 

‘Didn’t know that I was welcome.’ You offer.

There’s a beat, there- more than a beat, actually. Joel looks at you in a way- well, you don’t understand it. Shakes his head. 

Stares again.

Reaches out. 

Mumbles 

‘I’m a fuckin’ idiot.’

Grabs your hand and make you sit down with his family, arm around your shoulder the whole meal, thumb tracing mindless patterns on your shoulder. When Ellie is distracted by a friend, and Tommy and Maria are gone to get a refill, he whispers into your neck :

‘I should spank you ‘till your ass is red but you’d enjoy it. Should take your ass but you’d enjoy it too. I think I shouldn’t touch you, give you a lesson or somethin’’.

You’re wet. You’re wet and you want him and you know enough about him to know what makes him tick- hell, you know what he looks like in the morning, eyes heavy with sleep, hand absent-mindedly scratching his stomach, so soft it makes you want to cry.

So you’re searching for a comeback, something sharp and smart, when his nose nuzzles your ear and he whispers

‘I love you.’

And really all you want to do is bury yourself in him, never let him go, but that’s not possible. You also want to climb him like a tree and kiss him forever but that’s not appropriate. So you settle with 

‘I love you too.’

And then, because you think you deserve it and it makes you happy :

‘I want you to fuck my mouth.’ 

———

Taglist

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#joel miller/reader #joel miller x reader

[infinitelyprecious]

An autistic person's view on the scene where Aylin decided to open up to the group.

2 disclaimers: 1) Aylin is not confirmed/canonically autistic (afaik), however she heavily reads as one to me, hence why I'm writing this specifically from an autistic pov. 2) I am just one singular autistic person, I do not speak for all of us as a whole, if you're autistic and have different view on this, that is valid.

Part of all this is teenagers being teenagers and I don't expect them to have the knowledge or life experience to handle situations like these particularly well, so this is more me getting my own thoughts and feelings in order. Maybe it can be educational in a way. I'm withholding judgment on how the show itself is handling Aylin's story until the show has finished airing.

Aylin goes to talk with the group, bless her brave heart.

Ton, the smart-ass, asks why Aylin acts like an alien when she knows her loved ones don't see her like that. I get that the writers wanted her to explain at some point why she identifies with aliens specifically, but please, for the love of all that is good, do not say something like this.

This question only shows that her friends in fact, do see her as an alien. They don't accept her like she is, they ask her why she is the way that she is. It keeps boiling down to "Why is she not like us?"

She might be different from the rest of the group, but she is normal. There's nothing abouts her that needs to be fixed. If she wants to learn more social skills for example, that is completely fine. However, it should not be a requirement. And if she wants to learn, patience is important.

Social settings with neurotypical people tend to be overwhelming and use up a lot of energy for autistic people. It's important to go slow and respect her declines if she doesn't feel up to socializing. The last thing you want is for someone to feel like they have to mask or for them to experience a meltdown as a result.

Aylin answers that humans being unfriendly is the reason she 'acts like an alien'. She's been made to feel like she is not welcome, like she isn't just another human worthy of love and respect. It's very understandable for her to then want to remove herself from her human identity and look for friends in other-worldly beings. They don't bully.

It's interesting to me that the whole group stays silent when Alpha asks who did something to her. Did they forget about Aylin shoving a plate in Ton's face or do they think she was in the wrong there?

Because she wasn't. It was visible in her body language and verbal declines that she was uncomfortable and yet they pushed her.

It tends to be harder for autistic folk to handle unexpected situations. Reactions like that are very normal if you get an autistic person into a situation that is overwhelming. They'll go into their fight or flight and things go wrong. That is not their fault.

Aylin goes on to explain what happened and Mawin finishes her sentence for her. Or rather, speaks his conclusion before Ailyn is finished talking. I think this is pretty common decency, but don't talk over people when they are trying to tell you something, especially when they are being vulnerable. Even if they talk slower (which Aylin didn't do, but it's something I've experienced a lot). Please bite your tongue and let people finish talking.

Ton, again, says something he shouldn't have, but thankfully Luna steps in this time.

Then Sun. "Do you know that those who bully and harass people are not actually humans?" The main problem I have with this sentence is that it feels belittling. This might just be a me thing, but the way she says it comes across as if she's pointing out that Aylin's perception of the situation is incorrect.

But they are humans, shitty ones, but still humans and Aylin has every right to view humans as a whole as untrustworthy, because that has likely been her experience. The thing I would've preferred here, would be to jump directly to saying those bullies are garbage. That would've come across more validating.

After this, the friends exchange a couple sentences about how to handle bullies. Which is lovely, except, they talk about Aylin as if she isn't there. She just bore her heart - comfort her. Talk about how to handle bullies later, don't let her swim in the discomfort of vulnerability.

Then Sun goes to touch Aylin?!?!? Again, Aylin is visibly uncomfortable. Please, please, if someone is uncomfortable to be touched, do not touch them. Also, ask! Ask for consent. Again, probably a common decency thing, but the amount of times I've had people go like yeah no worries, but then still touch me is high up. A casual hand on the shoulder is still touch, a handshake is still touch.

Related to that is personal space. Some people's, like Aylin's, personal space is big. They need a good distance from other people in order to be comfortable. If there is one thing I can ask of you it's to try and be observant of that. So that if someone takes a step away from you, you don't step closer again, but allow them their space.

I've had conversations with people about personal space and somehow it blows people's mind that I am most comfortable when there is a significant bigger amount of space between us than they would initially think. Please try to leave space between you and other people. For some people physical closeness is severely overwhelming and it makes it significantly harder to navigate our daily lives.

I do love Ongsa specifically saying Aylin can hangout and eat with them. Often times when you've spend your entire live being non-verbally rejected, it's very hard to feel like you are wanted somewhere. You're always looking for signs that people don't want you there. Having it specifically confirmed that someone does want you there, can be very assuring.

Ton. I would like for Ton to not talk for a while lol. On the surface it might sound nice that someone wants to start a club that is a safe space for other bullied kids, but it is a very look-at-me-saving-people thing to do. It's not treating someone as your friend, it's making a charity project out of their hardship. I get the thought process, but please don't.

I don't really have a conclusion or anything, so I'm going to leave it at this. If you have thoughts you want to share or a conversation you want to start, feel free to. Keep it respectful, but other than that go wild.

#23.5 degrees #23.5 the series #precious talks #precious talks 23.5 degrees