#but I can't do coffee | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 4 months

Text

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

#spilled ink #warm up #“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol #btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can #run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her #but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like.#ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone!#like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate''#we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!

47K notes · View notes

poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months

Text

I want you whipped into shape!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #yu ziyuan #wang lingjiao #wen zhuliu #'When I say jump - say “how high'”? You know you're doing it right when you start to cry!“#Of course I can't resist the Legally blonde reference. This is the Elle Woods is canon in PD-MDZS blog #I love this scene so much. There are a lot of things to say about it and I would go over the limit if I indulged.#Suffice it to say the main takeaway *here* is that I think YZY is milfboss of the millennia.#I intended for this to be posted on international women's day but my ambition led me to keep trying to make it better.#And by better I mean I spent several days (re)drawing this one and that is **not** what poorly-drawn-mdzs is supposed to be about.#I will be making the next few comics worse to compensate <3 At the very least I will honour my time and tag it as 'better drawn'#('my time' spent hunched over my desk while I chant 'this concept is *not* above my skill level!' over and over again)#Funny story about PD!Wen Zhuliu; he was supposed to show up sooner but I kept accidently cutting the comics he would have been in.#So I like to think he just went on a long coffee run. 'Go get me an (insert coffee chain) pink drink' said Wen Chao.#'He never said from which location' said Wen Zhuliu as he proceeded to walk 100km to the farthest cafe he could find.

651 notes · View notes

teaboot · 5 months

Text

Theoretically I enjoy living with people but unfortunately when you tell people you're a neuroatypical raccoon with twelve ongoing hobbies, completely random work hours, and a series of admittedly unusual lifelong compulsions they tend to hear that and go "oh haha you're trying to be Quirky okay" and then save their ten million questions and concerns for when you can't run away

#Im venting #Sometimes I HAVE TO sleep on the floor #Sometimes I HAVE TO stand on the coffee table #I own a blowtorch because sometimes I NEED TO USE A BLOWTORCH #What kind of lives are yall leading that you just NEVER HAD AN OOPSIE AND SPILLED BEESWAX IN THE KITCHEN #Like what isn't clicking here #'Why do you have a trumpet if you can't play the trumpets because I'm an ADULT #'The leopard is creepy' your FACE is creepy #Objectively I am aware that the way I do things is Not Normal but it's Normal For Me #And so many people demanding REASONS and it's exhaustingggg #I'm autistic I'm bored and I have ten thousand hobbies and a zest for life #If you don't wanna make paper mache body armor at 3pm on a Wednesday just be open about that #But like #I did warn you #I warn EVERYONE so I KNOW I WARNED YOU #*screeching*

891 notes · View notes

murderandcoffee · 7 months

Note

This whole "simp martin" martin thing has got me thinking

Jon: sex isnt on the table for me

Martin (who still cant even believe he got THIS far): thats not gonna be a problem for me

jon: yeah, don't expect sex me from, I rarely--if ever--desire it

martin, ecstatic at what all that leaves on the table: THAT'S WHERE YOU DRAW THE LINE???

jon, a little horrified: I have never seen anyone so excited to learn that sex is out of the equation

martin: I THOUGHT YOU HATED ME FOR A SOLID YEAR

jon: ...

martin: THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER

#martin is like WE CAN HOLD HANDS AND WE CAN HUG AND WE CAN CUDDLE AND WE CAN KISS AND I CAN WASH YOUR HAIR AND RUB YOUR BACK AND HOLD YOU--#AND YOU CAN SIT ON MY LAP AND BORROW MY SWEATERS AND I CAN MAKE YOU COFFEE AND WE CAN GO TO THE PARK AND WE CAN GO OUT TO DINNER AND #and he just keeps going #martin blackwood voice THERE'S SO MUCH OUTSIDE OF SEX I NEVER EVEN EXPECTED YOU TO BE INTERESTED IN ME NOW YOU'RE SAYING WE CAN DO #ALL THESE OTHER THINGS?????? THIS IS GREAT NEWS I CAN'T WAIT #listen. listen. he's head over heels. and extremely enthusiastic. I love him #tma #the magnus archives #jmart #jonmartin #martin blackwood #jon sims #ask murderandcoffee #anonymous

614 notes · View notes

lurafita · 25 days

Text

CEO!Magnus and personal chef/bodyguard!Alec

(There is every chance that I have posted this before, I just can't remember. I tried to search through my archive, but.... there is a lot of posts there, did you know? 🤣😂 Anyway, in case I'm making you read this twice, sorry. 😅)

Magnus being like this really big shot CEO who has meetings 24/7 and charity events and social appearances and all that other busy stuff going on. So he gets a personal chef to keep an eye on his nutrition. And Alec is ruthless when it comes to making sure Magnus eats healthy. Magnus: "You know I love your cooking, Darling, but how about a good old fashioned fast food break?" Alec: "All that grease is bad for you. Eat your carrots. You look pale. How much sleep did you get last night?" Magnus, innocently: "Enough?" Alec: "Unlikely. No more caffeine for you today."

Magnus trying to sneak all kinds of unheathy Snacks, and Alec foiling him at every turn. Magnus had an energy drink hidden away in his desk, but as he opens the drawer, there is a bottle of water with a note attatched with "stay hydrated".

Alec even convinced the close by Cafe to not serve Magnus anything with Caffeine, after Magnus' last doctors appointment showed high blood pressure.

Maybe Alec is some kind of ex-agent or ex-military, who got into cooking for an undercover op, but really enjoyed it and wanted to pursue it further when he quite the force.

When one of Alec’s old colluegues comes visiting him, Alec is crouching behind the entertainment system to find Magnus' latest snack hidey-hole. Alec: "He gets more creative every time. Some of the drug dealers we busted could have learned from him."

Bet you Magnus is the type of CEO who has a loyal Twitter following and he tweets about everything Alec cooks for him (and the things he doesn't let him eat.) The Internet already ships them.

Possible tweet: The_Magnificent_Bane: Thank you for the suggestion @randomfollower, but unfortunately Alexander didn’t go for the argument that carrot cake counts as a vegetable.

Why am I know picturing a fight in the kitchen where Alec uses kitchen utensils and food to knock out people who have come to kidnap Magnus

Imagine someone broke into Magnus' place, and the police are called and as they arrive Magnus is like: "Thank you for coming. My chef has already apprehended and restrained the perpetrators, and is waiting for you to take them off his hands in the living room." Police: "... Your cook apprehended them?" Magnus: "Yes. Sadly, the confrontation did not result in the death of that cursed celery he bought earlier."

Magnus: "Tomatoes can't be trusted, my darling. Are they a fruit? Are they a vegetable? No one knows." Alec: "They are fruits." Magnus: "That's what they want you to believe."

68 notes · View notes

nostalgia-tblr · 2 months

Text

"are people not into that?" i ask, after posting my weird niche shit to the internet, despite knowing it to be weird niche shit.

#jsyk sylkius or anything adjacent to it does not “Do Numbers” in any way and i observed this some time ago #i assume that's the “rival ships” element at work but who knows really #that sort of thing is like femslash in that everyone approves of it but nobody actually reads or writes it #but who would have thought sylvie beating loki with a stick would not bring in droves of readers???! shocking twist there!#& i don't consider sifki a rarepair but my rarepair standards are VERY strict like if there's >5 fics a pairing is basically mainstream #chasing popularity would annoy me though & i just don't have the mental spoons to try writing stuff i wouldn't personally read #yeah i *could* put my blorbos to work in a coffee shop but what cost to my own enjoyment levels? AT WHAT COST FANGELA???#you can't please everyone so you may as well just please yourself and if anyone else likes it you've found some fellow freaks so yay #i don't mean please yourself in a wanking sense. though feel free to do that too it probably counts as a cardio workout idk.#BUT ANYWAY #fic related #ps i am v glad there's the “warning: loki” tag because i think/hope it acts as a filter for 'he did nothing wrong in his life ever' types #who are Valid & etc obviously but i write my morally grey characters to be morally grey and the tag might help avoid conflict #though tbh i write almost every character to be morally grey in some way so i can't claim to have left my comfort zone here #(i'm not joking when i say the 1987-89 run of Dr Who shaped my entire future fannish life from a young and apparently v impressionable age)

64 notes · View notes

incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 7 months

Text

The woman's voice in earbuds: Battery Low Arthur: So you're just going to leave me. Just like everyone else

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp incorrect quotes #im going to preface this one by saying #1. i'm so sorry #2. I am also not remotely sorry #these two things can be true at once and are not remotely in conflict with each other <3 #in all seriousness though i saw this post days ago and i just couldn't stop relating it to him #he's so damn dramatic and desperate for attn PLS #i also just can't get over the thought of him muttering this while everyone looks at him like he's nuts #theo like 'im not touching that with a forty foot pole'#theo: yeah just like i'm doing right now **goes to work**#man the way i just imagine dazai holding a hose over arthur to make it look like its raining until the camera panels back #isaac walking out of sbux with everyone's coffee like 'wtf happened here???'#shhhhh isaac no questions only caffeine #source: foodandfriends #(yes i am aware of the tragic meaning this can take on no i will not be broaching it)#(I Do Not See It. Let the Children Sleep.)

126 notes · View notes

givehimthemedicine · 1 year

Text

hot take: I could see it being possible Will picks up smoking, and very unlikely Max picks up smoking, for the same reasons just opposite.

Joyce doesn't hide her smoking but she is conscientious not to smoke in Will's presence (she does smoke right next to Jonathan though). iirc she almost never smokes at home when Will is home, and puts it out before she goes in his room. I'm sure she would advise her boys against the habit, but I don't think it would be terribly ooc if they picked it up as a stress response learned from her. they both probably associate the smell with their mother, who is a positive and loving presence in their lives.

btw I have a crisp $1 bill that says pre-s1 Joyce has caught Jonathan smoking before and that's why she feels ok to do it around him

then you've got Max, with multiple varyingly abusive family members who smoked (and drank) in her presence all the time. she comes and puts out Susan's cigarette when she's asleep even though it's already safely in an ashtray, meaning Max just doesn't want to have to smell the rest of it. she resents her mom for blowing so much of their resources on her addictions. plus there's Billy who smoked (and drank) in front of her all the time, both in their house and in his car, and I don't have to tell you Billy is a negative presence in her life.

in my mind Will and Jon are, at a minimum, at peace with it whereas the smell could be almost triggering for Max

#will byers #jonathan byers #max mayfield #i don't have to have ever seen him do it to know jonathan stress smokes cigarettes at least sometimes #look at 16yo jonathan working extra shifts to help cover rent and raising his brother #and tell me that boy doesn't drink black coffee instead of sleeping and without taking the cigarette out of his mouth #seems quite likely that both neil and lonnie smoked too tbh #remind me if lonnie is canonically a drinker or is that just the vibe I get?#will and jon seem like a very low alcoholism risk #will's had enough of altered states for a lifetime #will has the escape of creativity in a way that jonathan doesn't which is why he does turn to altered states for escape #which will doesn't really Get. or probably sympathizes but can't identify

190 notes · View notes

inkskinned · 2 years

Text

it takes a really long time to unlearn but there's no such thing as "cheating" or "half-assing" being a person. if you need to leave the cabinet doors open, leave them open. microwave your tea. sit down in the shower. buy the eggmaker. use your phone to calculate tip.

it's mostly fake posterity rules. who cares if you microwave your dinners. who cares if you use instant coffee. who cares if you stop watching the show that got boring. we all have a different set of skills and a different life and taking care of yourself is fucking hard.

at the end of your life there will be no final scoreboard. nobody is going to judge you because you brushed your teeth in the shower. there will be no final count of the number of times you had the same meal five nights in a row. there will be no fanfare or party because you won at being a person - and no one will be disappointed that you never understood the point of using paper towels to dry your hands off after washing them.

yeah, in this world, people will put up a fuss. i've noticed some of the biggest fusses are over what you'll put in/on your body. the fact that i will regularly eat deli meat straight out of the bag makes a lot of people genuinely concerned for me. but here's the thing: sometimes that's the only way i'm getting any protein. my doctor says i am doing fine. i'm sticking to my weird snacks and calling it deconstructed charcuterie.

they'll say they're horrified because you take a shortcut. that's fine. it's just that it looks like a shortcut to them because they're on a different life path. these kinds of things stand out to them as important. that's fine too. but for you? you've got other things that already make you pretty hard working. and these tiny things - well, they're just clutter on your journey.

#before any motherfucker is like <3 #''i know more about this and it IS WRONG to do this THING''#shhhhh #unless ur a doctor and a patient has specifically asked... shut the FUCK up dude #one of the ways my life has changed in the last few years is like #taking coffee for granted #isn't something i can do #can you stand up for the entirety of making a meal? i can't always #and having some pompousass person be like #MICROWAVE THE WATER? FOR TEA? like . yeah actually i've been in prison for it ever since #''it tastes different!!!'' cool. it's not going into yOUR body.#i personally don't ever make hot chocolate with water. only ever oat/soy milk #but i wouldn't be like ... SIR. I WILL NOW JUDGE THEE #it's just like ableism all the way down innit #ableism and classism and #the expectation of the mental load as a form of being ''good''#also. besides the like. pots and [redacted medical information]#im doing GREAT actually #>:) i have visible abs even when not flexing #it's bc god prefers me as a lesbian n has rewarded me lately for presenting more openly

13K notes · View notes

natjennie · 2 months

Text

wait hold on the fact that the gummies I take aren't illegal. like you can just buy them from a store. but can be the reason for not getting a job doesn't make any fucking sense. it would be like if they did a urine test and saw that you've eaten dark chocolate recently and you couldn't have the job. you're fired for taking tylenol 3 days ago. like what the fuck do you mean ingesting a completely legal substance in my free time is a problem. why is it any of your fucking business. they give people smoke breaks. what are you talking about.

#it's so insane. im genuinely like. my mind is reeling right now #why the fuck do you care if i eat something at home #like as long as I'm not high AT WORK it shouldn't matter #and also it's not illegal!!!!!!#who gives a fuck!#you can still get hired if you drink coffee every morning #oh you had a redbull recently sorry we can't offer you the job anymore #what are you saying to me

35 notes · View notes

speedywombatpsychicpasta · 2 years

Text

When They Play 'That' Song In Bed

‘When They Play ‘That' Song In Bed ' (Rubedo/Scaramouche/Xiao x afab!Reader NSFW)

A/N- I’m sure that at this point everyone knows what I’m talking about. But just in case you don’t, I suggest watching this video:

Word count- 1766

Warnings- afab!reader, NSFW, mentions of Kaebedo

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

✨️Rubedo

If he wasn't already hyperfixated on your hands making their way under his shirt, Rubedo would have had to commend your ability to make him lose his composure, ever so diligent in your goal to reduce the poor blond to a stuttering mess. And aside from teasing him almost to the point of tears, it seemed that today you were intent on showing Rubedo other ways your mouth could make him shiver.

All of this was new for him. After months of dating, it was only natural to take your relationship further, and he was all for it. The only problem? Rubedo was completely and utterly inexperienced.

His mind was clouded by lust, but also by worry. Would you be disappointed? Did he even know how to make you feel good? What if this all went wrong and you would end up leaving him for someone who actually knows what they're supposed to do?

His worry was quickly silenced with a kiss. You were here. And you were doing this with him. He had to pull himself together and make your first time together memorable.

He broke the kiss, his cheeks painted a beautiful shade of red as he moved away to pick something up from the nightstand near his bed.

"I… uh… I heard that music helps with making things less awkward." He hurriedly flipped through his phone before pressing Play.

You gave him an encouraging smile. The song was not anything special, but if it helped your nervous lover to relax, you were more than happy to indulge him.

A couple minutes later, you were on top of him, straddling the blond while your mouth was busy leaving faint marks across his neck and collarbone. His usually-neat shirt was almost completely unbuttoned, exposing milky-white skin that you were eager to explore, relishing in the little moans he let out in between kisses.

Your passionate endeavors were quickly brought to an abrupt stop by the unholy sound blaring from Rubedo's phone. It seemed that the previous song had come to an end and a new one started playing. Only that the new one was probably the most unattractive sound that you had ever heard. Almost as disagreeable as the not-so-subtle sound of laughter coming from outside of the door to Rubedo's room.

"Ruby, did Kaeya make the playlist for you?" you asked, already guessing his answer by the look of sudden realization on his face.

The blond looked like he wanted to evaporate, a thousand thoughts running through his mind, the clearest of them being that he ruined everything.

"Y-yes, he said it helps with the mood." Rubedo's voice was barely audible over the volume of the music and the sound of Kaeya dying of laughter outside the door. Why did he even go to his brother's boyfriend for advice in the first place?

Rubedo was acutely aware that he should probably get up to put an end to that horrid noise, admit that the mood was absolutely dead and buried and apologize to you, then die of embarrassment after you go home. He was taken aback to see that determined glint in your eyes and feel your fingers slowly caressing his cheek.

"Then we shouldn't give him the satisfaction, should we?" Rubedo swallowed hard before he gave a shy nod in return.

That was how your first time together went. You made sure the both of you were having a great time and soon your lover's moans were the only sound you could pay attention to. Sure enough, the laughter outside the door died down soon and for a week afterward, a certain blue-haired individual could not look either of you in the eye.

🌌Scaramouche

Scaramouche relished in the sweet sounds coming from your mouth, his cock grazing each spot that he knew would drive you crazy. For all his rude and domineering attitude, he was an undeniably gentle lover.

His lips crashed down on yours as he thrust in time with the rhythm of whatever song he was playing. You melted into the kiss, running your fingers through his indigo hair and pulling him closer. It was sloppy, how his tongue explored your mouth, yet if the way your walls clenched around him was any indication, Scaramouche would say you were enjoying yourself. A particularly harsh bite of your lower lip elicited a cry of his name. And at that moment he decided that perhaps he didn't hate his name as much when you made it sound so sweet- like melted sugar, threatening to burn through the ice encasing his heart.

"Kuni, fuck! I-"

Your words were silenced by another press of his lips as he maintained a steady pace. For the world he was still Scaramouche, the ice-cold jerk everyone thought him to be. Only for you was he Kunikuzushi, ever so careful to keep his usual temper in check.

"You're doing so good," he whispered in your ear, dark-purple strands tickling your cheeks.

At this point you were a mess under him, beads of sweat rolling down your forehead, awaiting the sweet release that your teasing lover was not always so eager to provide without first making you beg for it. He picked up his pace, dragging his length across your walls, making sure to hit that exact spot that made your mind go blank. If he kept this up, you'd soon fall apart under his ministrations and Scaramouche knew.

You felt yourself getting closer and closer, nails digging into his back enough to leave red crescent marks on his porcelain-white skin.

That was until your attention was stolen away by the song playing in the background. Scaramouche often liked to play music when the two of you were at it. He said it helped with setting the mood. But as the beat of the song dropped, so did your trust in your lover's music preferences.

Chasing your release became the least of your concerns. Your top priority now was containing your laughter, which you failed miserably when you met Scaramouche's focused expression, totally unconcerned with the horrendous noise playing in the room. You couldn't hold it in any longer, exploding into a fit of laughter that startled your boyfriend into losing his rhythm.

"Why are you laughing?"

"N-nothing!" you forced out between giggles.

Scaramouche didn't think it was nothing if it made you laugh like that while he was still balls-deep inside you. His raised brow was enough indication.

"Fine, fine!" You held your hands up, as if surrendering. "It's the song. It's funny."

He gave you a strange look, as if you were the weird one, as if he couldn't quite make sense of your behavior, which prompted even more laughter on your part.

"What's so funny about it?!" he snapped, pulling out his now-flaccid cock and looking like he might combust any moment now.

"Baby, that's the most unsexy thing I've ever heard!" You were done for. You laughed so much you were practically wheezing right now.

You watched the embarrassed male flash you one last look of pure loathing before he stomped away, presumably to take a shower and pick up the pieces of his shattered pride.

This was bound to cost you at least a couple days of getting the cold shoulder and many apologies, but from now on you made a point to never let Scaramouche pick the music again.

🌸Xiao

Xiao was always a mystery. No one could ever tell what he was thinking underneath that cold facade and blank expression. He was not the type of man to easily get riled up, or at least that was how most people saw him.

What they didn't see, however, was the way his eyes sparked with both love and desire whenever you leaned down to capture his lips in another ravenous kiss. Xiao was a mystery, an unsolvable puzzle to most, but not to you. Never to you.

The way you bounced up and down on his dick had him seeing stars, while your hands were nimbly pinching and pulling at his nipples. You knew how to get the ever-stoic honor student to melt underneath you without any effort.

Music was playing from his open computer on the desk, ranging from softer tunes to rock. Xiao's always had a special interest in music of any genre, especially since he was part of an increasingly popular band that recently acquired a new member. You'd have to help him come up with a new name since 4NEMO was not suitable for 5 members.

That could wait, you told yourself as you watched Xiao's disheveled expression, strands of his hair sticking to his forehead as shallow breaths escaped his kiss-swollen lips. He truly was a sight to behold. It made you want to spoil him, to drink in his moans and have him scream out your name enough to make his voice hoarse the next day during band practice. It wouldn’t hurt for those fans who came to shamelessly ogle him to know it's your name that rolls off his tongue whenever he comes undone, on nights like this one.

"I know, baby! I'm getting close too." You picked up your pace, his hands on your hips guiding you into a rhythm that he liked and making you arch your back as you rode him.

It was then that you heard it, loud enough to drown out the wave of pleasure building up inside of you. You blinked in confusion at the atrocious sound, thankful for your boyfriend's hands still moving your hips. Your dearest boyfriend, who was seemingly oblivious to the dreadful sound playing from his computer. What's more, he was actually synchronizing his thrusts with the music!

You bit the inside of your cheek to prevent you from letting out a giggle. You'd have to talk to Xiao later about his music preferences and what was suitable bedroom music. But for now, you'd be damned if you let this stand between you and enjoying the night.

So on you went, relentless in your ministrations, pressing ardent kisses to any inch of exposed skin you had access to until all you could hear were the sweet sounds of your lover.

You kept true to your word. The next day, Xiao was struggling to cover the numerous marks littering his neck, pleased with himself for finding a song you seemed to like so much.

Perhaps, in your exhaustion, you had forgotten to mention it to Xiao. Well, it seems that for now, your sweet, naive lover took it upon himself to play it on loop next time.

╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

#rubedo x reader #genshin x reader #impostor albedo #rubedo #subject two #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche smut #xiao x reader #xiao smut #you can't convince me Scaramouche wouldn't unironically listent to that #they are all awkward and would totally do this #rubedo smut #I wrote this running on coffee and self loathing

474 notes · View notes

gideonisms · 2 months

Text

I wish that it was Easier. And less Difficult to show affection and receive it irl

#i really want to be hugged but it just doesn't feel good with any random person #I can't just feel the right feelings when i want to for any random person it's there or it isn't #then i have these irl friendships that are like. pleasant! a nice coffee outing every month or three! but i want to crawl into someone #i struggle so hard with all the halfway stuff i can either want everything or nothing and people want me to be casual #that's just not me idk what to do about it!!#i've tried #live in my veins or don't!#<- things that are delusional to take to any scenario where i might meet potential friends in person #ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggg

53 notes · View notes

uwuinhell · 3 months

Text

Yo so I checked ao3 and apparently there's ZERO 2012 Donnie/reader coffee shop au fics??? Not even one??? Which is honestly a crime imo

SO I decided to do it myself. But I'm not currently proficient enough in writing fics to actually make anything. Maybe I just need to think about it more/harder...

So I'm writing a.. drabble.. headcannon.. thingamajiggy.. idk what they're called, honestly.

—————————

2012 TMNT Donatello x Reader Coffee shop au ✨

---------

You work at a café, maybe a small mom and pop place, maybe one of a corporate line.

Maybe the café you work at is in a poorly-maintained area of the city and there's frequent power glitches.

(The café is used to this and is prepped for this scenario with at least one generator for all the appliances. As well as an abundance of candles and flashlights, which don't provide Fantastic lighting but it's enough to make by while they wait for power to come back.)

Donnie comes more often and stays a bit longer during these black outs. Otherwise he has only ever ordered to-go.

Donnie also prefers to come when it's less busy. Which is understandable, you don't like large amounts of people either.

Donnie disguises himself with a large hoodie (+ face mask?) and probably pants too. Or maybe a skirt, that'd be cute, I think.

Maybe he hides his hands with mittens or gloves. He'll play off the lack of fingers, if he's wearing gloves, saying it's because of an accident.

If he doesn't wear gloves or mittens he'll keep his hands in his pockets most of the time.

His skin is "like that because of a skin condition" he'll say. He only has 3 fingers because of a deformity, he'll say.

He either pays with straight cash or with a cash-app card. (Because how is a turtle gonna get money??) (The cash is taken from villains or found on the streets)

You don't question his behavior much, writing it off as him being insecure or shy or something.

After he returns a few more times you guys chat more and he meets you on your break to talk more.

After weeks, maybe months of him coming by to get his caffeine hit, it becomes your guy's normal to chill and chat on your breaks.

He also visits and hangs out before the café opens and after it closes sometimes.

51 notes · View notes