#ikevamp incorrect quotes

[worlds-smallestviolin]

Comte: So you've met Vlad.

MC: Yes.

Comte:...

MC:...

Comte: He's weirdly sexy, right?

MC: Oh my God. Thank you. I thought I was the only one.

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp le comte #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp incorrect quotes

[namine-somebodies-nobody]

[Monthly banquet]

Dazai: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods, you're going to die.

Arthur: My favorite is explaining the difference between a booty call and a butt dial.

Shakespeare: It's called connotations.

Arthur: *nodding* How about this one...

Arthur: Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.

Arthur: *looks towards Comte, smirking* Sorry, Daddy, I've been naughty.

Comte: *sighs* All language has now been banned from the dinner table.

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp osamu dazai #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp arthur conan doyle #ikevamp comte #ikevamp comte de saint germain #ikevamp incorrect quotes

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

MC: There's no way he likes me back.

Charles: Dazai would throw himself in front of a moving car for you.

MC: Dazai would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp mc #ikevamp charles #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp incorrect quotes #okay like i feel terrible about this one but at the same time the way i WHEEZED #dazai ilysm and you dont deserve to be dragged like this but somebody's gotta do it #IM TAKING THE L #also hate that my other thought was: charles. charles why are you being so specific. #charles are you getting little gremlin ideas. CHARLES-- #i gotta hand it to him i was always stuck between being like #charles just bc ur master is a homicidal maniac does not mean murder is the answer to being with mc #charles: but are you sure #me: CHARLES. #charles: :3c #me: #me: he makes a very convincing argument-- #like do i approve? no #but you gotta appreciate his commitment to the bit #baby man appears what crimes will he commit

[onegianthotmess]

Arthur: Admit it~

Theo: No because you’re wrong! I don’t use sappy pet names, period!

Vincent: Theo, I’m making tea. What would you like in yours?

Theo: Honey, please.

Jane: Yes, love of my life? Do you need something?

Theo: *exposed*

Arthur: HAH! I KNEW IT! DAZAI, YOU BETTER COUGH UP BECAUSE I JUST WON THE DAMN BET!

Vincent: *proud of himself*

Jane: *tugs on Theo’s sleeve* Dearest? Are you alright?

#theo got set up #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp incorrect quotes #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp arthot #ikevamp vincnet #ikevamp theo #ikevamp jane

[cow-goes-moozart]

Comte: I got you a present, bro

Leonardo: Bro these are some expensive shoes

Comte: [reveals matching shoes]

Comte: now we're SOLEmates

Leonardo: *voice cracks* Bro.....

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp incorrect quotes #ikevamp comte de saint germain #ikemen vampire comte #ikevamp comte #ikemen vampire leonardo #ikevamp leonardo

[daisiesandshakes]

Comte, smiling cheerful: I got Netflix for you like you asked!

MC: Thank you so much Comte! I’ve been using Sebastian's account for months, so this will be awesome.

Comte: Wait- what do you mean .. account?

MC: His Netflix account.

Comte:

MC: Like.. his profile? I wanted an account of my own, they’re about $8.

Comte:

Comte: Ooooh… You wanted .. an account on the service..

MC: Yes! What did you think- wait.. what did you buy??

Comte:

Comte: .. Netflix.

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #incorrect ikevamp quotes #ikevamp incorrect quotes #ikemen vampire incorrect quotes #ikevamp comte #ikemen vampire comte

[theundertakerswife]

Comte: Know why I called you in here?

Leonardo: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.

Comte: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

#ikemen series #ikemen incorrect quotes #ikevamp incorrect quotes #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikemen vampire comte #ikevamp comte de saint germain #ikevamp comte #ikemen vampire leonardo #ikevamp leonardo

[iglitterinbaroque]

*all the boys enter Comte's office* Theo: Comte, we have 3 votes on exorcism, 5 on heavy medication, 1 possible on murder, rest abstained, your call. Comte: What?! Mozart: MC has… a condition. Jean: She's possesed by evil spirits. Theo: She's nuts. Sebastian: She's on her period, for god's sake. Comte: Ah, yes, I heard crying, she must be in great pain. Napoleon: That was Isaac. She told him it's his fault that grocery bags are so heavy, because he "just had to invent gravity”. Arthur: You know what actually could help releasing the stress? Everyone: NO!!! Comte: *looking at Mozart* Some music could help with the pain. Mozart: Yes, we thougth that and, according to MC, I reached the peak of my composing skills by making my music so dull that it makes her nauseous and so irritating that the pain is worse at the same time. Leonardo: Oh, come on… It can't be that bad… *Leonardo walks out* *5 minutes later* MC: I PREFER MICHELANGELO ANYWAY! *Leonardo comes back* Leonardo: La donna e pazza.

#ikemen vampire arthur #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp mc #ikemen vampire incorrect quotes #ikemen vampire mozart #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp mozart #ikemen vampire leonardo #ikemen vampire comte #ikevamp comte #ikemen vampire mc #ikevamp napoleon #ikemen vampire napoleon #ikevamp sebastian #ikevamp incorrect quotes #incorrect ikemen vampire #ikemen vampire sebastian #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp jean #ikemen vampire jean #ikeman vampire theo #ikevamp theo

[wafflesdenweaselsside]

MC at 4am : Hey Sebastian—wanna try those chickenless fried chicken things?

Arther, who was just passing by: Excuse me Luv, what the bloody—What did you just say?

MC: The chickenless fried chicken

Sebastian, who speaks fluent delusional: A particular kind of deep fried mushroom with sauce

Arther, nodding slowly: I’m going to go speak to Newt about this one

#ikemen series #cybird ikemen series #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp sebastian #ikevamp scenario #ikevamp mc #ikevamp incorrect quotes

[natimiles]

MC: It's kinda cold. Vincent: Here, take my jacket. Arthur: I'm cold too. Theo: Damn, Arthur, I can't control the weather.

#WHY CAN'T I STOP SEEING THEM IN THIS SCENE WHY #that 70s show was the best show #incorrect ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp mc #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp theo #incorrect quotes #ikevamp incorrect quotes #ikevamp

[worlds-smallestviolin]

MC is feeling depressed:

Napoleon: Have you tried sleeping it off?

Mozart: Uh, can you do that someplace else?

Leonardo: *follows MC everywhere* Have you cheered up yet?

Arthur: Well, you know what always helps me? 😏✊️👈💢🤕

Theo: Walk it off.

Vincent: *saw MC being sad* *got sad himself* *MC ended up comforting him*

Isaac: I don't know what you want me to do. Here's an apple.

Dazai: You should go to the beach. It won't cure your depression, but it will make it tropical.

Jean: Try holy water.

Sebastian: *flicks her forehead* * ineffective* I can't help you.

Shakespeare: So... How about you play a main part in my next play?

Comte: Get in, loser! We're going shopping!

Charles: Well, you know what always he... 💢🤕 MC: I am not having sex with you.

Faust: I have a perfect solution. Try these mushrooms 🍄 😈

Vlad: Oh, you just miss your grandma? Well, here. *vampire grandma enters the room*

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp theo #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp jean #ikevamp le comte #ikevamp sebastian #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp charles #ikevamp faust #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp incorrect quotes

[namine-somebodies-nobody]

MC: The floor is lava!

Vincent: *helps MC onto the counter*

Theo: *kicks Arthur off the sofa*

Arthur: *lays on the floor*

MC: ...Are you okay?

Arthur: No.

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp arthur conan doyle #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp vincent van gogh #ikevamp theo #ikevamp theodorus #ikevamp incorrect quotes

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Leonardo: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, le Comte is walking in this room.

MC: *wheeze*

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp leo #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp mc #back at it again with the pureblood on pureblood violence #truly these jokes never age a day (at least for me) #you see what i did there #although i think the funniest thing about this one is that comte would be so 'ha h a leonardo very funny >:/' #and then he's just drinking in the parlor room asking sebas is he's too old and boring for mc #and sebas naturally interested in stirring the pot is like #'idk if you ask me you don't look a day over 300' #needless to say the man needed pats from mc afterwards #man im dying all i imagine is comte just 'no talk me i'm angy' in a corner of the balcony #lowkey want to write this now--i might in fact #unauthorized bullying of comte will not be tolerated (unless i find it hilarious like i do in this case) #also funny because leonardo isnt much younger--not that that would ever stop him #ikevamp incorrect quotes

[onegianthotmess]

Ikevamp Incorrect Quotes

feat. Amelia & Sebastian

Sebastian: Why is there a giant pentagram painted on the floor of the entrance?

Amelia: You told me to satanize the floor of the entrance since no one is going out due to the rain.

Sebastian: I told you to SANITIZE the floor of the entrance.

Amelia: Oh..

Amelia: *turns to demon she summoned* You can go home, Jeremy. I misunderstood the assignment.

Jeremy the Demon: I never get to do ANYTHING when someone summons me!

Jeremy the Demon: *grumbles in angy demon as he crawls back through his pentagram*

Sebastian: I don’t get paid enough for this.

Amelia: To clean up the shit at this mansion, to put up with me as a coworker, or to be married to me?

Sebastian: Yes.

Amelia: Should’ve seen that one coming-

Amelia: Q^Q

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp incorrect quotes #ikemen vampire sebastian #ikevamp sebastian

[cow-goes-moozart]

Comte: What's this?

Vincent: We thought it would be nice to get you a present

Comte, holding a shirt that says "best dad" on it: *bursts into tears*

Jean: OH NO DAD DON'T CRY

Comte: *cries harder*

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp incorrect quotes #ikevamp vincent #ikemen vampire vincent #ikevamp jean #ikemen vampire jean #ikevamp comte de saint germain #ikemen vampire comte #ikevamp comte

[daisiesandshakes]

Comte: It’s hard being the responsible one of this household but I appreciate every single person he-

Leonardo: Umm… Comte… Dazai tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and now it’s on fire.

Theo, audibly from the kitchen: CALL 911 ALREADY I AM FUCKING DYING HERE!

Mozart: I TOLD YOU IT WAS A STUPID IDEA!

Vincent: IT WAS A PLEASURE MEETING YOU ALL

Arthur: YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT THE RAMEN IN FIRST THEN - HOLY SHIT IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE!

Napoleon: JEAN NO! DON'T THROW YOUR SWORD AT IT!

Comte:

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #incorrect ikevamp quotes #ikemen vampire incorrect quotes #ikevamp incorrect quotes #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp theo #ikevamp comte #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp jean #ikevamp napoleon