#but I am saying it’s something I’ve noticed and observed- that’s all!

[hannahssimblr]

“I have to say, this is an impressive body of work.”

I shift in my seat, “By impressive do you mean that it’s good, or that there’s a lot of it?”

This gets a laugh. “Both,” says the man, Paul, flicking through a sketchbook with tattooed hands, fingers stained from nicotine. I notice things like this now. Hands. I notice their lines and their bones, all their interesting details, and perhaps Paul himself could gauge this now as he pours over my figure studies where there are pages upon pages of hands, old and young, my friends, my sisters at the piano, an old woman clutching at a handrail on the train, and my own, a hundred times in different ways, blisters, plasters, hangnails and bruises from the rugby pitch.

The woman, Ida, shuffles through a stack of watercolour paintings I did last summer, mostly seascapes, the beach and the rushes, the whitewashed houses and rusted iron of the Wexford coast. Just looking at them I can recall the grit of sand under my bare feet as I warmed them on the deck of our holiday home behind my portable easel. In three months I’ll return again for one last summer, and after that I expect I’ll miss it there. 

“And you said you didn’t do a portfolio preparation year?” She says, peering over the rim of her glasses. 

“No, I’m still at school.”

“Highly unusual for a sixth year,” her eyebrows climb up her forehead, “You've clearly dedicated a lot of time to this.”

I shrug, “Yeah, I like making art, I don’t know.”

It’s difficult to tell what this woman is thinking. Everything about her is harsh, dramatic, from the sharp fringe that sits straight and neat above her brows to the slash of her mouth, thin lips, pointy chin, hard eyes, but I have to assume for the sake of my own self esteem that she doesn’t positively loathe my portfolio. She spends some time looking through my work, slowly, methodically, sometimes leaning closer to frown at something, maybe some proportion that’s off, bad composition, a clumsy attempt at ambient occlusion that doesn’t hit the mark… 

“It’s beautiful,” she says simply, and I exhale. 

“Oh look, a familiar face,” Paul holds a portrait to Ida, “That’s the girl that we were interviewing a few people before this, what was her name again?”

“Michelle,” I say, “My girlfriend.”

Paul nods, “Michelle, right! Good likeness,” and places the notebook back onto the table. Leaning back in his chair, he cracks his knuckles, “Look, Jude, there’s no two ways about it here, your work is outstanding. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a portfolio that hits every mark, every requirement and goes beyond, I mean,” he lets out a puff of air and gestures to the table, “this is nuts. And for a sixth year? Come on. This stuff would blow some of our third and fourth year college students out of the water.”

I feel like I could melt off the chair with relief, but try to suppress my utter delight so that they don’t think I’m too hungry for validation.

“Cool.”

“It’s the sensitivity,” Ida adds, “Your observation skills, your sense of weight, movement, knowledge of anatomy. It’s rare to see this kind of work from a secondary school student. Your efforts are just… so impressive.”

“And look, we know it depends on your Leaving Cert points, and yeah, that’ll be a contributing factor when it comes to acceptance, but, like,” Paul looks over the table again, tossing his hands up conclusively, “as far as I’m concerned, we’ll see you in September.”

Ida’s mouth curls into a smile, “We hope. If you choose us.”

If I choose them? Am I dreaming? How have I become the kind of person who is coveted by an art school? Surely not. Surely soon I’ll wake up and discover that this whole interview has been a product of my dreams. Too much time spent stressing out over art, the requirements, the brief... Almost certainly I’ve fallen asleep somewhere and none of this is real. 

“That’s really kind of you to say. I’m glad you liked my stuff.”

“Blown away,” says Paul, and he leaps to his feet to shake my hand like I’ve just won a prize, “all we need is a pass in the Leaving Cert, you can surely manage it.”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure I do.”

They’re smiling at me as I gather up my work, and still smiling as I give them one last sheepish wave from the door, and I realise I am still smiling too as I face the hallway of waiting students, staring at me with portfolios rested against their knees. I probably shouldn’t look too overjoyed, it might knock their confidence, so I try to look very bored instead as I pass by, though I may explode from the inside out.

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky boy 2010 #he's back baby #looking cuter than ever #I love hipster era Jude so much?? #and c'mon #y'all know what's coming this summer #anyone recognise Ida?

[alarrylarrie]

Something SO fascinating about Harry’s music videos from this album are that none of them focus on him in like, a concrete way?

In As It Was, which I would argue is the most “Harry” focused- I think it was very much gender coded, plus all that super cool Matrix allegory (which in itself is also gender coded lol)

Then in Late Night Talking, it’s very much about Harry as people observe him, as they speculate and project their fantasies onto him, etc.

MFASR is about him as an object, about a commercial product, about him being seen as good when he’s useful, etc etc.

And now Satellite is the story of Stomper, the little robot that could, and is a metaphorical representation of loneliness, isolation, longing, and so on.

I’m just saying it’s interesting.

#he’s three albums in #at this point a lot of artists would have like #a more personal song made into a video? #but he SO strongly and delicately weaves around and out of that #and it’s not a bad thing AT ALL #PLEASE DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND ME #I am thrilled he’s keeping back parts of his life for himself!!! #he needs that divide and I’m so glad he has it #but I am saying it’s something I’ve noticed and observed- that’s all!

[bunnylovesani]

A Marriage Story

Summary: You met your husband Spencer at college and fell in love at first sight. A decade later, he’s struggling to be the man you need after spending months away in prison. Can you find your way back to each other even when outside influences want to keep you apart?

Content warnings: smut, fluff and angst all rolled into one, rough sex, oral sex, degradation, sub/dom dynamics, references to infidelity and divorce

WC: 10.7k

“Can’t sleep?” You peered into the living room to see your husband slouched across the sofa, sporting a stiff, groggy expression as he examined what looked to be a pine-green leatherbound book.

“It would appear that way, wouldn’t it?” He mumbled in response, barely looking up. Spencer was snarky by nature- it was something you’d grown accustomed to and even found endearing- but you were woefully unprepared for just how much would change following his stint in prison. 

“You can barely read in here, it’s so dark.” You grumbled as you stretched to turn on an orange light posted in the corner. Your fingertips brushed past the bobbly canvas of the lampshade as you recalled how the appliance was a wedding gift. You weren’t exactly sure who bestowed it to you but the memory made you a little misty-eyed. 

“And you don’t have your glasses either.” You muttered under your breath as you readily paced to your bedroom down the hall to retrieve his black-rimmed specs. “Here you go.” You extended your arm out, waiting for him to take them out of your grasp but he paid no notice. 

“Spence.” You nudged him but he just shook his head wordlessly and retreated into his pages even more, squinting profusely. Perching beside him, you tucked his unruly waves out of his face and nestled them behind his ear before carefully sliding on his glasses, letting them rest on the delicate bridge of his nose. 

“Thanks.” He whispered after a while and you tried your best not to sigh at the state of your husband. His under eyes throbbed purple, the darkness consuming them in a veiny, crescent spill. There was no avoiding the way Spencer’s eyes had gradually dullened, as if the light had drained from them entirely. 

“It’s 3 in the morning, my love. Clearly that stiff sofa isn’t doing you any favours, why don’t you try sleeping in our bed tonight?” You hummed, nervously pawing at his forearm in anticipation of his answer. 

“Not tonight.” He dismissed, shaking off your hand as he recoiled from you. 

“You always said that sleeping with me put your mind to rest. Let me scoop you up into my arms and I’ll bet those nightmares will ease right up.” You nuzzled into him playfully, badly craving that now unfamiliar warmth. It had been 3 months since Spencer returned home from jail and another 3 since you’d even slept in the same room. 

“That was back then.” He replied coldly, swallowing a lump in his throat before finally looking up to meet your gaze. “The sofa is just fine now.” 

“So you plan on spending the rest of our marriage sleeping in here, do you?” You laughed in disbelief, overwhelmed by the incredible misfortune that had struck your husband- and by cursed extension, you.

“I didn’t say that.” He ripped off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose with tired frustration. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“I have been more than understanding.” You observed the broken man hunched over before you with both pity and unbridled anger. “But my lenience has a limit. At some point, you have to get over it.”

“You don’t know what I’ve been through.” He snapped back, almost interrupting. 

“Because you won’t tell me.” You countered, blood pressure rising over his incredulous obstinance. “How am I supposed to help you if you don’t let me?”

“I don’t need your help.” He scoffed, shuffling back as if the slightest contact with you made his skin crawl. 

“I am your wife.” You uttered solemnly, the words beginning to sound foreign to you both. “Or have you forgotten?”

“How could I? You never leave me alone.” He stated carelessly with such absurd cruelty that it made your heart split in two. 

“Who are you? I don’t even recognise you anymore.” Your voice trembled as tears swelled and you willed yourself not to fall apart entirely right then and there. 

“I don’t recognise myself either.” He murmured inaudibly.

Awkwardly plumping the pillows you had flattened as you rose, you straightened out your cotton nightie and headed towards the solitary bedroom, leaving Spencer glaring shamefully at the floor. 

“Do you remember our wedding day?” You whispered into the doorway, unsure whether he would even hear. 

“Of course I do.” He sighed heavily, as if the memory hurt him and he wasn’t too grateful for the reminder. 

Realising that those were the only words you’d be able to coax out of him tonight, you proceeded down the corridor and slumped into bed defeatedly. The right side of the bed was always kept empty, partly out of habit and partly out of hope that he might, by some miracle, change his mind one of these nights and join you. A particular quote that your husband once read aloud from a Nietzsche book sprang to mind: “In reality, hope is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs the torments of man.” He had laughed it off as the words left his perfect lips, dismissing the mournful proclamation as pessimistic melodrama- but now you wondered whether the boy genius had, for once, been wrong. Clutching a rumpled old pillow close to your chest, you thought back to better days as your melancholy lulled you to sleep. 

“Spencer, you’re so annoying.” You playfully slapped his forearm once you caught sight of the little drawings he was leaving in your notebook. “This journal is for my notes, not your mediocre art. Is that one meant to be me?” You pointed at the silly stickman with long hair and a speech bubble declaring ‘I love Spencer’. 

“Well you’re obviously not the ruggedly handsome one.” He gestured at the nerdy-looking bespectacled caricature of himself. It was evident he didn’t have the highest self regard but you couldn’t figure out why- to you, there was no one more perfect. “Do you write about me in your little diary?” He glided the pages out of your reach and began flicking through their contents with a sneer. Knowing exactly what he would find, you allowed him to skim through your written confession as you witnessed his expression soften. 

“I met a guy today in my criminology class.” He muttered, reading an early entry aloud. “I hardly know anything about him, but I’m already certain I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Is that crazy? To love a complete stranger? I think I would let him drive me into the furthest depths of insanity if it meant I could hold onto a piece of him forever.” 

You blushed hearing your own words spilling from his lips, recalling the day you met on your first day of college. 

“Wait.” Spencer put your notebook down before frantically rummaging through his backpack to retrieve his own. Yanking out a pine-green leatherbound journal, he flitted through its pages before turning it around and sliding it across the library desk. “Read this here.” He tapped a passage located right around the middle with an impatient forefinger. 

“Okay…” You drawled hesitantly, sliding your textbooks out of the way to focus on the script put before you. “I met a girl today. That doesn’t really happen to me. Liking aforementioned girl is even more of a rarity but today, I feel like I’ve been struck by lightning. There I was, my nose deep in a second edition tome of Fundamentals of Research in Criminal Justice when someone who could only be described as a blinding ray of sunshine bounded into the lecture hall. When she took a seat in the back row beside me and made a deliciously snide comment over Garland’s incompetency in examining the Lombrosian Project, I knew I was a goner. Note to self: do further research on what it means to be ‘in love’.” 

“Yours was a little more romantic.” He chuckled, observing the incredulous look on your face. 

“Spence…” You shook your head as you grabbed his hand and tried unsuccessfully to convey the complexity of your feelings. “I- I don’t know what to say.” 

“I love you.” He said simply, like he had many times before but you never grew tired of hearing it. 

“I love you too.” You grinned, resisting the urge to kiss him and give surrounding students in the stuffy library a show. 

“Can I ask you something crazy? But promise not to think about it too much.” He chewed on his bottom lip with an almost crazed look in his eyes. 

“You can’t surprise me anymore.” You nodded, giggling. 

“Do you want to get married?” The question made you break out into a flurry of goosebumps, contradicting your last sentence entirely. 

“W-what?” You raised your eyebrows, listening intently for a sign that he was just teasing. 

“Right now. Lets go somewhere and get married.” You scanned his handsome face in shock as you realised he was being serious. 

“B-but we’re only 22. We’re so young.” 

“Yes, we are.” He calmly responded, allowing you to run through all your doubts.

“A-and we still haven’t graduated.” 

“No, we haven’t.” He shook his head.

“And oh, our parents would be so mad!”

“They very well might be. Marry me anyway.” He flashed a broad, toothy smile and the way it made your heart stop gave you the only indication you needed. 

“Okay.” You smiled. 

“Okay?!” He repeated in surprise.

“Okay. I’ll marry you.” 

Spencer shot out of his seat, lifting you up with him as he grabbed you by the face, planting excitable kisses over your lips and cheeks. 

“Don’t we need to make appointments for this kind of thing?” You squeaked out between kisses, the logistical cogs in your mind whirring. 

“Well, baby.” He paused, gazing into your eyes with a mischevious twinkle. “It’s a good thing we live in Vegas.” 

Grabbing each other’s hand with a fervour you thought would last forever, you headed straight to a walk-in chapel, where along with two drunken witnesses you dragged off the street and a pair of vending machine wedding bands, you officiated your love. The haughtily dressed minister, who resembled a cowboy more than a government official thanks to his white, studded getup- took several takes before agreeing to ordain the ceremony. “Crazy kids…” he muttered under his breath when you managed to persuade him, ushering you down the altar with a disapproving sigh.

Spencer marvelled at how you could look so beautiful in a cheap, rented veil and he vowed that day that he would never dare take you for granted. He would make damn sure to remember just how blessed he was, no matter what life threw at him. 

He remained true to his word for the most part, proceeding to spend the next decade or so faithfully by your side. As in most areas of his life, Spencer excelled at being a husband. After his first substantial promotion, he knew exactly what to spend all his savings on: he made a beeline to Tiffany’s for a long overdue engagement ring, surprising you with the small robin’s-egg-blue box on a random Tuesday night. You loved it, of course, and gushed over the lavish diamond, proudly flashing it to anyone who would let you- though you kept your tarnished old band on your bedside table and observed it with nostalgic fondness. 

Every promise Spencer made, Spencer kept. From the silly details down to the crux of your marriage, he was unfalteringly respectful, supportive and always appreciative. 

You certainly weren’t too shabby playing the part of his wife either. Dinner was always on the table, the house was always spick and span and you had no shortage of tight outfits to greet him home dressed up in. You hadn’t ever anticipated your role in life would be that of a housewife but Spencer made it easy- and if you had to be one, a loving, handsome genius was the man for the job. You figured you could do worse.

When the company you worked for years ago filed for bankruptcy and you were too burnt out to look elsewhere, your husband was more than happy to assume his new position as the breadwinner. 

While the thought of relying on a man used to inundate you with horror, this particular man was like something out of a movie- for him, you made every exception, choosing a life of domestic bliss in suburbia over the dreams you once had. You weren’t the most fulfilled woman in the world but you’d never had serious concerns- until this year. It wasn’t Spencer’s habit of overprioritising work, nor his stretch in prison- it wasn’t even the thousand yard stare that painted his face at all hours of the day following his release. 

It was the arrival of the sudden and unprecedented thought that he might actually leave you. 

As many fights as you’d had over the years, the possibility that Spencer may not be the man you spend the rest of your life with had never once crossed your mind- you had it ticked off as a definite and planned your life accordingly around that simple fact. You thought you had agreed that nothing could ever tear you apart. 

But now; the way he recoiled when you came near him and the disdain that dripped from his voice when he spoke to you had you reconsidering whether the man you knew would ever make a return. 

It was your biggest fear and everything your mother had warned you about; her nauseating words gnawed at you as you remembered how staunchly she opposed your impromptu decision to get married. She never really accepted Spencer- choosing instead to graciously tolerate him as a favour to you, but neither of you were under any illusions as to what her real thoughts on the matter were. 

“There you are, I was beginning to think you stood me up.” The lofty voice of your mother rang out and the air sharply shifted around her. 

“Sorry, mother. I- uh, woke up a little late. Got caught in the midday traffic.” You sniffled, trying your utmost to be subtle over the fact you’d spent all morning weeping pathetically in bed.

“Yes, I suppose that’s something you can afford being unemployed and childless.” She scoffed, suspiciously eyeing up your puffy face. “Though I suspect traffic isn’t to blame on this particular occasion.” 

“Of course it is.” You dismissed, taking a seat before her at the garden restaurant you had agreed to meet for lunch in. It was a little too snooty for your taste, but then so was she. 

Burying your face in the menu before she had the chance to inspect your somewhat ragged appearance further, you tried to ignore her heavy sighing. 

“I worry about you, you know.” She lowered your menu with a pristinely manicured finger. 

“Oh trust me, I know.” You rolled your eyes and snatched the menu back, eyeing up the scandalously named cocktails and wondering how many you could get away with ordering. 

“I’m being serious. Your whole life revolves around him. And he’s a mess. You know what that makes you?” She reached into her handbag and fished for a compact mirror.

“Please, enlighten me.” You groaned as she checked her mauve lipstick. 

“A mess by extension.” She haughtily added, snapping the mirror closed with a snappy click. “And it’s my job as your mother to set you straight.”

“Lucky me.” You muttered, disinterested. 

“Listen to me, young lady. I don’t care how old you get or how much you think you know, I know better. You need to come back down to Earth and realise that your marriage is failing.” She snakes her hand across the table and places it on top of your own. “Prison changes a man. He’s not the Spencer you once knew.”

“You think I don’t know that?” You retorted stroppily. “I know he’s changed but that doesn’t mean we’re going to- we’re not getting a- you know…”

“Divorce?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, that.” You shrugged. 

“It fills me with deep concern that you can’t even say the word. How are you going to function when he leaves you?”

“Mother!” You gasped. 

“Oh, if and when, same thing.” She waved a hand in the air dismissively, her nimble pearl bracelets clinking against one another. “My point is, darling, you must accept that there’s a…significant possibility your life will change. You need to be ready for it.” 

“No.” You shook your head, refusing to let her words sink in. “Spence wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t leave me.”

“Oh?” She finally removed her sunglasses and you caught sight of the genuine concern in her steely eyes. “What did he say to you before you left this morning?” 

Your eyes shot to the floor as you remembered how he’d elected to go to work early, leaving the house without a farewell as was his routine these days. Seeing the anxiety and shame written all over your face, your mother sighed yet again. 

“Men in these situations often seek comfort in others.” She softened her tone but not her words. “You’re too close to the situation to make him feel better about it. You know too much.” 

“What are you trying to say?” You squinted. 

“He needs to feel like a man right now. And you can’t give him that.” She innocently sipped from the paper straw floating in her lemon water. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” You dismissed her, the thought of Spencer cheating inconceivable. 

“Look out for the signs. If he’s working late too often, if he has secretive phone calls…” She trailed off. “It can’t hurt to pay attention.” 

Although you tried not to let them, her words had a nagging way of worming themselves into your brain and never coming back out. 

Later that evening, you returned to the empty confines of your house and spent several hours anxiously flitting your eyes to the clock on the wall. He should’ve been home early today. 

“Spence, is that you?” You called out once you heard the faint clicking of the door unlocking. The slow thudding of his heavy footsteps was heard before he entered your bedroom, looking very weary and sporting even more stubble than usual. 

“Who else would it be?” He asked with a shadow of a smile. Offering no explanation, he peeled off his blazer and loosened his tie as he perched on the edge of the bed. 

“Must be a really tough case you’re working on with the amount of overtime shifts you’ve been putting in.” You cleared your throat.

“It’s, uh, it’s been a tricky one. Yeah.” A deafening silence followed his obscure reply.

“Did you give any more thought to taking time off work?” You continued, yearning to wrap your arms around him but resisting. 

“No. I mean, yes I did, but I don’t want any time off. It wouldn’t help, I can hardly stand being at home.” You gulped at the hurtful connotation and he turned around to face you. “No, I didn’t mean like that. Not because of you. You know what I’m trying to say.” 

“Not sure I do.” You muttered under your breath. 

“I’m sorry. I’m a mess.” He dropped his head into his hands and took a deep, stabilising breath. “I just need time.”

“Of course, Spence, I understand that. It’s only that- well,  i-it’s been 6 months. 6 months of me doting on you and letting you get away with acting and speaking to me however you like. At what point does it end?” Your words had a desperate tinge to them. “I need some kind of indication.”

“I can’t tell you the exact time and date that I will forget everything that happened to me.” He stood up with a huff and you knew you’d touched a nerve.

“Don’t get defensive, I’m just trying to talk to you.” You got up and stood beside him, laying a flat palm to his chest. “To get through to you somehow, anyhow.” 

You could feel his warm, unsteady breath on your skin as he scrunched his eyes shut, wanting to be anywhere but here. 

“Why can’t you talk to me? You used to be able to tell me everything.” Your voice cracked as you rubbed your thumb across his cheek pleadingly. 

“I can’t give you what you want. Not right now.” He gently lowered your hand and stared into your eyes apologetically. 

“We haven’t made love in so long.” You murmured hesitantly and he shot you an irksome look. You hated to bring it up but the pain of his rejection was getting too much to bear- you had to let him know how badly you needed him.

“Is that why you’ve been on my case so much lately?” He raised an unimpressed eyebrow. 

“No, of course not.” You sighed. “Not the only reason, at least.” 

“Sorry, baby. I’ve been too busy dealing with major trauma to factor in your sex drive.” He quipped sarcastically. 

“That’s not fair, Spencer.” You had anticipated such a response but your heart dropped anyway when you heard it. “It’s not just about that and you know it. I just miss my husband- all of him.”

“Things change.” He mumbled. 

“Well, will they ever change back?” You snapped a little. “Tell me right now, can I get my husband back? Matter of fact, do you even want to come back?” 

Your eyes betrayed you with a steady stream of tears pouring down your reddened cheeks. 

“Do you still want me?” Your voice quivered, praying he wouldn’t take this opportunity to shatter you completely. 

“Yes. I do.” He answered simply though there was an air of conflict about him. “I’ve loved being your husband. I just, I- not now. I just can’t. I can’t do it.” 

He shook his head and paced out to the hall, shutting the living room door loudly once he was safely inside. 

Your blood began to boil. All the grace and understanding you’d shown him this year and he couldn’t even finish a conversation without running away like a coward. 

“You bastard. Come back here right now, Reid.” You barked out, running after him. “Or so help me God-.” 

“You’ll do what?” He opened up, lean figure resting against the door frame. ”You gonna kill me, honey?” 

“I just might!” You shrieked frustratedly. “I’m so unbelievably sick of you doing nothing but sulking and feeling sorry for yourself. Enough is enough. Wake up and smell the fucking flowers!” You crossed your arms, exasperated and a small smirk spread across his handsome face. “You’re smiling.” 

“Such good attention to detail. This is exactly why I married you.” He winked and you slapped his arm a little too forcefully. “Yes, I’m smiling. You’re adorable when you’re bratty.”

“If being at my wits end with you means being a brat then yes, I’m the biggest brat in the world!” You started bawling- you knew it was irrational but you were too sensitive and overwhelmed with emotion to let his teasing slide.

“I know, I know. It’s okay, shh.” He pulled you in close, pressing your delicate head against his chest. “Come on, my love. You know I can’t stand seeing you cry.” 

“How come you’ve been letting me do it every night, then?” You whimpered, pitiful words swallowed by the fabric of his white work shirt.

“I didn’t think it was that bad.” He looked down at you, a noxious blend of guilt and sympathy flickering in his tired eyes. “I-I thought you understood.” 

“Understood what?” You let out a muffled murmur as you drew in his heady scent, the musky cologne combined with his sweat soothing your overwrought senses. 

“That even though I’m in a dark place-” He lowered his face until you felt his hot breath against your flushed cheeks. “It doesn’t, for a single second, mean that I don’t love you.” 

“Really?” You gazed up at him lamentably. “It was starting to feel that way, li-like nothing I did was good enough.” 

“I’m sorry.” He almost winced, his regret tangible in how tightly he held you. “It’s not you, you’re perfect. You’ve been patient and understanding and I’ve completely put our marriage on the back burner….there’s no excuse.” He fell back into the sofa, pulling you down into his lap as he gently spoke.

“God it was just the weight of it all- the weight of how long it was taking me to shake it off. The longer it took, the more I felt like a failure and I couldn’t stand coming home to you every night and disappointing you. Seeing the unfalteringly hopeful look on your face and knowing it’d be wiped off after one conversation with me…I started avoiding you.”

“Spence…” You wilted like a flower at his confession.

“But that was selfish, I know that.” He took your face in his hands and professed earnestly. “I can’t apologise enough, my love.” 

“Where’s this coming from all of a sudden?” Your heart leapt as your husband’s familiar warmth flooded you- and while you were grateful to get a glimpse of the old Spencer, you were also confused by the abrupt shift in his demeanour- if not suspicious. 

“Honestly? You getting pissed off flipped a switch in me.” He looked just as puzzled as you at the admission. “All this time you haven’t gotten mad once- even when you’re upset, you’re always sweet. I guess it took you acting out of character to make me see just how badly I’ve been treating you. You brought me to my senses by threatening me.” 

“And I’ll make good on that threat if you keep shutting me out.” You wagged a finger at him and he chuckled, clasping your hand and planting a soft kiss over it. 

“If I ever talk to you like that again, you have my full permission to kill me.” 

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” You scowled at him playfully and he patted your damp cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt, drying the remnants of your tears. 

“I was reading my journal from our college days last night.” He admitted as you soaked up how good it felt to be in his arms again. 

“I knew that dusty old green thing looked familiar!” You bit your lip to contain the smile about to burst through. “Why were you looking through that?” 

“I needed a reminder of what kind of man I vowed to be. To stay true to that little nerd who couldn’t believe his luck when he got to marry you.” He pressed his forehead against yours as he filled your head with words you’d spent the last 6 months dreaming about. “If you’ll have me, I’d love to sleep in our bed again tonight.”

“You mean it, Spence? You really don’t have to if you don’t-“

“No, I really do. You’re my home, baby. And I’ve been away from home for too long.” He pulled you in closer until his lips gently met yours, kissing you so sweetly you thought you might melt. 

“God, I missed you.” You whispered as a shudder ran down your spine, his touch proving to be too much after you’d spent so long deprived. 

“I missed you more. I promise I’ll make it up to you. For all my mistakes.” He cooed but you weren’t even paying attention, all your focus centred on the dizzying way his large palm stroked your back. 

“Come on, let’s get you into bed.” He whispered, nudging his shoulder against your own. 

“Mhm…” You moaned lazily, allowing him to drag you up and guide you into the comfort of your bedroom, which instantly seemed more welcoming now that you knew he was finally joining you. 

“There, all tucked in.” He beamed after stuffing the edges of the duvet beneath your languid body. “I just need to change and brush my teeth, I’ll be right in.” He kissed your forehead and sauntered over to the adjoining bathroom. 

Before you could surrender to sleep, you pawed clumsily at the nightstand in search of your phone, overcome with the urge to message your mother- you just had to let her know she was wrong. Composing a text to assure her your marriage was no longer in danger, you sent it through with a satisfied sigh. Unexpectedly, the screen lit up not a moment after you’d put it down, accompanied by a quiet chirp that let you know she had sent one back. 

“Don’t let your guard down. Guilt is a powerful thing.” Her ominous words pulsed off the screen and left you feeling queasy. 

“Remember what I said. Look for the signs.” A second text flashed across the screen. 

You dropped the phone with a shaky clatter, as if your hands couldn’t wait to be rid of the thing. How could she remain insistent that Spencer had been cheating when he’d given next to no indication of it? You would’ve chalked it all down to her longstanding aversion to him and fallen into a peaceful slumber- if it wasn’t for the muttering you heard coming from the other side of the bathroom door. 

Like a jumpy cat, you raised yourself against the headboard at once and listened with bated breath. Struggling to make out a complete sentence as the running water smothered his words, you cautiously crept over to the door and ever so slightly pressed your ear against it. 

“I appreciate that but I can’t. We’ll have to reschedule.” Spencer’s muffled voice rang out, sounding slightly stressed. “No, I’m not thinking about leaving. I know I need you. Yes. Everything’s fine, I’m just not free tonight.” 

You let out an exasperated breath, in pure disbelief over what you’d overheard. Before you could gather your thoughts, the tap stopped running and you heard the sound of shuffling footsteps, prompting you to leap into bed and swathe yourself amongst the covers. 

“You asleep already, baby?” He whispered when he emerged from the bathroom, pressing his warm, pyjama-clad body flat against yours. You said nothing, remaining as still as a church mouse as he cosily nestled his face into the crook of your neck and dozed off. While your husband enjoyed the best sleep he’d had in the better part of a year, you spent the remainder of the night staring into the expanse of your dark ceiling, paralysed with fear. 

A Saturday morning was usually yours and Spencer’s favourite day of the week; it meant you could sleep in, have breakfast in bed and make love until noon all in glorious succession. This particular Saturday was markedly different- partly because Spencer had been called into work- and partly because you couldn’t go a second without driving yourself crazy thinking about his affair. 

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, Hotch is insisting he needs the whole team together.” Spencer rolled his eyes as he hopped around in a struggle to get his socks on. You sat up in bed and nodded complacently, not wanting to set off any alarm bells to your profiler husband. “Hey babe?” He asked, fiddling with his tie. 

“Hm?” You smiled innocuously. 

“How would you feel if you had to start working again?” He bit his lip and looked at you, full of intrigue. “Would you manage?”

“Umm, I-I don’t know.” You stuttered, caught off guard completely by his question. “Why do you ask?” 

“Didn’t you have dreams? Goals you wanted to accomplish?” He asked sincerely and a thinly veiled panic began to rise in you. 

“Sure, I guess. I didn’t plan on abandoning them but- I don’t know, life got in the way and other things took priority.” 

“Hm. Okay.” He looked absorbed in thought as he grabbed his blazer. “I’ve got to run- how about I meet you for dinner at that new steakhouse in town? We’ve got a lot of things to discuss.” 

“We do?” You gulped. 

“I know I do.” He leaned down to kiss your forehead as you desperately tried to read his body language. “See you later.” 

“Bye, honey.” You choked out as he breezed out the door, leaving you with bile rising up your throat. 

You hated to admit it, but your mother was right. 

“And-and then he told her he needed her!” You blubbed down the phone when you finally plucked up the courage to call her later that day. “And don’t you dare say you told me so!”

“I wasn’t going to say that.” Your mother retorted dishonestly. 

“But that’s not all- before he left this morning, he was asking me how I’d feel if I had to start working again!” You whined, your body racked with so much anxiety it made you nauseous. 

“He’s trying to gauge how you’d cope if you no longer had him to financially rely on.” She sighed knowingly. “He’s trying to subconsciously prepare you. It’s almost thoughtful- in his own strange, dysfunctional way. Typical Spencer.”

“You really think this is it? He’s done with me?” You sniffed, desperately hanging onto the last thread of hope. “This might just all be a big misunderstanding.”

“I don’t think so, sweetheart. I mean, the late nights, the phone call, the interrogation about your career. And the spontaneous apologetic outburst. It’s clear to see he’s bursting at the seams with guilt.” She tutted, feigning sympathy- but you knew she’d been waiting for Spencer to slip up for years. As much as it might have pained her to see her daughter like this, the satisfaction of knowing Spencer was almost out of her life outweighed the anguish. 

“So now what do I do?” You whinged, the last thread snapped. 

“You’re going to dress up in the tightest outfit you have, drive down to that restaurant and tell him you want a divorce.” She instructed with her signature self-assured candidness. 

“B-but I don’t want a divorce.” You mumbled meekly, acutely aware of how pitiable you sounded. 

“I’m afraid you don’t have much of a choice.” 

Her words resounded in your aching brain as you rummaged through your closet looking for an outfit that fit the brief, ultimately settling on a satin black mini dress- Spencer’s favourite. 

Driving to the restaurant rehearsing your parting words was nothing short of excruciating. You adored your husband just as much as you did the day you first met; spotting him in that lecture hall, shiny brown hair slicked back as he twiddled a pen between his spindly fingers and scrunched his eyebrows up in displeasure at the set text. It was like a bolt of lightning struck you- love at first sight. 

How did you get to the point of divorce? Your brain was racked with potential guesses as to where along the line you lost him. Were you not interesting enough? You wanted to get your career back on track but you assumed Spencer would prefer a stay-at-home wife. Is that where you went wrong? Perhaps some woman at work was more engaging, perhaps he had more mutual interests with her than his boring wife. 

Pulling into the parking lot, you braced yourself to head for the entrance and find your soon-to-be ex-husband. Who would get the car in the divorce? He paid for it so you supposed the courts would award it to him. 

“Oh God.” You muttered under your breath, head spinning as you waited inside for a hostess. If you went by that logic, you’d be left with nothing. 

“Do you have a reservation?” The young worker hobbled over breathlessly. 

“Uh- probably, under a Mr Reid.” You twiddled your thumbs as she searched her database.

“Oh, he’s already been seated, just down there.” She pointed in his direction and you saw the back of his head, luscious curls nestling around the base of his neck. You sighed, he was going to be a tough one to get over. 

“Baby, there you are.” He rose from his seat to plant a quick kiss on your cheek and as always, pull out your chair. Where were you going to find someone as gentlemanly as him? “Are you okay?” 

“Sure.” You managed a small smile though you were sure he saw right through it. 

“I’ve already ordered us some wine, they had that white zinfandel you like.” He said, pouring you a glass.

“Trying to get me drunk, Reid?” You swirled the liquid around, inhaling the sweet aroma. 

“From half a bottle?” He chuckled nervously, your mannerisms already causing suspicion. “No, I want you sober for tonight.” 

“That’s unkind.” You muttered unintelligibly, knocking back your glass in one go. 

“Woah, slow down.” He cautioned as you clinked your glass against the bottle, prompting him to hesitantly pour you another. 

“You sure everything’s okay?” 

“Yes, great. What did you need to talk to me about?” You braced yourself for impact. 

“Okay, well, I know it would be a big change but just hear me out. I think in the long run, it’d be better for you if-“

“Actually, no. Everything’s not okay.” You slurred, the alcohol already impairing your senses. 

“Oh? What’s the matter?” He asked anxiously, fidgeting with his wedding band. 

“I want a divorce.” You blurted out tastelessly.

“You- what?” Spencer’s eyes widened as he blinked rapidly. “A divorce?”

“You heard me.” You gulped, trying your hardest to be stern even though you were about to fall apart. “You’ve run out of chances with me.” 

“Baby, what? I-I know it’s been rocky but I thought we talked it through? You seemed just fine last night, I don’t understand.” He shook his head, eyebrows raised so high a painful-looking row of wrinkles stacked up on his forehead. 

“I thought we were fine too, but I was wrong.” You took another glug of liquid courage as you avoided eye contact, knowing you would cave if you took even one glance at his big, round eyes. 

“I know I don’t have much room to complain after what I’ve put you through but can’t we at least talk about it first?” He pleaded, heart jumping out of his chest. 

“What is there to talk about, Spencer? You couldn’t come to me so you closed yourself off and found comfort in another woman- God knows how long this has been going on while I’ve been here pining after you like an idiot-“

“What?” He raised his hand, signalling you to pause your rambling.

“Don’t play dumb, I know you’ve been cheating on me.” You scoffed, determined not to fall victim to his gaslighting. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” His mournful expression was replaced by one of bewilderment. 

“I heard you last night on the phone to her. Who is she?” You cocked your head, a little smug over the fact that you’d caught him- what kind of a genius calls his mistress while his wife’s next door? 

To your surprise, Spencer broke out into a laugh, taking his head into his hands as he shook it in relief. “You got me, baby. You caught me.” He smiled dazedly. 

“I did, so I don’t know why you’re smiling.” You scowled.

“You caught me talking to my therapist.” He shot you an unimpressed glare. “I started seeing her 2 weeks ago and I didn’t want to tell you in case it didn’t work out. I didn’t want you getting your hopes up. But Jesus, baby. Divorce? That’s where you landed?” 

“It’s not just that!” You jumped to your own defence. “How do you explain all the late nights at work- and that conversation we had this morning about my career?”

“That’s what I was going to talk to you about today. I got you a job.” He stated. 

“Huh? Why?” You gawked, hesitant to believe anything he said. 

He took a deep breath, shuffling his chair a little closer and taking your hand. 

“Look, baby, I know you try your hardest to be a great wife. Too hard, if anything, and you’ve always been exceptional and far too good for me. As much as I love your dedication, you need to think about your own needs and prioritise those for a change. It’s no secret that you’ve been feeling unfulfilled for a while now, I can see it from a mile away. I should’ve addressed it sooner but, well, you know.”

“Spence?” You shook your head in uncertainty, wondering how you could’ve been so wrong.

“I should’ve never let you give your career up. I should’ve pushed you harder but I just loved having you at home all the time, it’s selfish, I know. My job is stressful but it gives me a sense of purpose, one I know you crave.” He explained, trying not to giggle at your awestruck face and your inability to form a single sentence. “What I’m saying is, I want to see you reignite that old passion you had. How would you feel about joining me in the BAU?” 

Nothing could’ve prepared you for his admission and tears of shock and immense relief began coursing down your face. “Spencer, I can’t believe this.”

“In hindsight, I should’ve talked to you about it first but I thought it might be a nice surprise- I’m an idiot, you don’t have to take it, of course, if you don’t want to.” He backtracked, suddenly aware of how flawed his plan was. 

“That’s the best news I’ve heard in a very long time.” You uttered softly. 

“R-really? You want to do it?” He raised his eyebrows in that adorably curious way of his. 

“I don’t know how you managed to figure out I wanted a job before I did, but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Yes, I want to do it.” You nodded, too consumed with excitement to mull over your embarrassingly wrong assumptions.

“Now, it’s only a low-level position for the time being, just to ease you into the transition but you have the potential to-“

“I’ll be with you.” You smiled simply.

“Yes, for the most part. I thought it’d be a good way to spend more time together- not including the times when I’d have to fly out and can’t take you with me yet, although-“

“Spencer.” You interrupted him. “Thank you.” 

“Well, of course. Anything for you.” He squeezed your hands and you felt the anxiety throb away. “Can’t believe you thought I was cheating.”

“You gave me some major indicators!” You scrunched your face up awkwardly. “And my mother pointed out that-“

“Ah, there we go.” He sighed, unimpressed. “That woman has had it out for me for the better part of a decade.” 

“Sorry, baby, you know she has a talent for burrowing inside my head.” You confessed shyly, aware you should’ve known better. 

“I’m going to talk to her.” Spencer declared.

“Huh?” 

“First thing tomorrow, we’re going to her house and I’m throwing it all out there. After a decade of pent-up resentment, it’s time.” 

Spencer usually avoided your mother at all costs, electing to work overtime on weekends when she decided to visit and often coming down with mysterious ailments during the holidays that prevented him from attending her get-togethers.

“Can’t wait to see how that turns out.” You chuckled gleefully. “And therapy, baby? Wow. I’m so proud of you.” 

“I was sceptical at first but I think it’s helping- I’m learning to compartmentalise the issues and most importantly, not take them out on you.” He stared into your eyes and your breath hitched; even after so many years, he had a way of making you feel impossibly shy. 

“You sound like a new man, Mr Reid.” You teased, the wine floating around your bloodstream in a way that made you deliciously fuzzy.

“It’s all because of you, Mrs Reid.” A smirk tugged at his lips. 

“So we’re really okay?” You asked in disbelief, immeasurably relieved that the rollercoaster seemed to be at an end. “What now?”

“I’ll tell you.” He drawled in a softly seductive tone. “We’re going to order dinner and dessert, I’m going to get you a little too drunk.” He dropped his hand to your thigh, trailing up it as he spoke. “And then I’m going to take you home and fuck you.” 

“Oh.” You squeaked, breaking into tingles at the prospect. 

“That sound good, doll?” He kneaded your inner thigh and you felt your body go numb as words failed you. “I thought so.”

Seeing that the bottle on your table was glisteningly empty, Spencer beckoned over a waiter.

“Give me your most expensive wine.” He smirked while ordering. “We’re celebrating.”

Although he was a law-abiding federal agent, Spencer ran more than a few red lights that evening given the ravenous way his wife stared at him from the passenger seat, crawling out of her skin with the desire to touch him. As soon as he pulled into the driveway, you were both in a desperate rush to get inside. You clawed at Spencer’s shirt while he shakily tried to unlock the door, trembling with anticipation. 

“H-hang on, baby.” The sound of clinking keys mixed with his groans. “God…”

You left messy, wet kisses all down his neck as he finally pushed the door open, taking you into his arms and guiding you indoors. 

“Right- mm, here.” You whined between kisses, gesturing at the sofa as you kicked your heels off. 

“My desperate girl, can’t even wait long enough to get to the bedroom.” He teased as he pushed you down onto the couch, hooking onto the waistband of your tights with his bony fingers and slowly dragging them down your legs- leaving small kisses down your thighs and calves in the process. 

You let out impatient whimpers as he folded your dress up over itself and dragged down your panties.

“Were these your ‘I’m a strong woman’ divorce panties?” He chuckled as he yanked the tiny lace garment off your feet and threw it behind him. 

“I needed as much confidence as I could muster.” You pulled him closer by the tie for a heated kiss. “I was about to lose the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

“You could never lose me.” He stared into your eyes with a dizzying intensity that made all the blood rush to your heat. “You’re my wife…” He drawled huskily as he ripped the front panel of your dress open. “Until the day I die.” Looping his fingers around it, he tore the material further with a loud tug, leaving your bare tits bouncing out of the tight fabric. “You jump to conclusions like it’s a full-time job.” He pressed his lips against your hot skin. “But I love you.” You wanted to laugh but a moan escaped your lips instead when he wrapped his tongue around one nipple, grasping the other with a rough hand. “And my God, do you have the best tits I’ve ever seen.” 

You raked your fingers through his thick, messy hair as you squirmed beneath him, sure that if he made you wait any longer you’d start crying. 

“Patience, baby. You’ll get it.” He whispered, dragging his lips down your body and leaving goosebumps in his wake. He left sloppy, open-mouth kisses along your thighs, so near your heat you could feel his warm breath fanning it. 

“P-please, Spence, please.” You muttered, bucking your hips to close the distance between you.

“You know I always give my girl what she wants.” He breathed heavily, snaking his arms around your shaky hips and tugging you closer to drag his tongue across your clit. You melted into the sofa as he sucked on your most sensitive spot, locking you into an unescapable vice with his strong arms. 

“Mmh…” You threw your head back, still squirming as he ate you with such passion and hunger that you committed every godless detail to memory. His hair became increasingly dishevelled as you twisted it into messy knots, fidgeting with the curls as he licked broad stripes up your clit with fanatical force. 

“Fuck, fuck…” You grew delirious as he sped up, legs trembling from how good he was making you feel; you desperately pressed yourself further against his mouth, wanting to be devoured until there was nothing left. 

“Can-can I, please, can you- oh God.” You rambled nonsensically as he showed no sign of slowing down, worshipping you with his tongue until you felt like blacking out. He groaned in approval as he flitted across your wet slit aggressively, knowing it pushed you over the brink every time. It had been months since he’d had you wrapped around his neck like this, panting in that slutty way that drove him wild- and as much as he wanted to savour it, he couldn’t wait much longer to have you. As you pushed his head down, he sucked so sloppily that the sounds emanating were nothing short of pornographic.

“Spencer!” You moaned out sinfully while you came, gripping his shoulders with your thighs as you dissolved into a mushy, whiney mess. Your hips twitched as he pulled away from you, wiping the drool from his mouth with the sleeve of his collared shirt. 

“No need to yell, I’m right here.” He grinned, deriving great pleasure from seeing you fall apart. 

“Oh God, I’ve forgotten how good you are that.” You winced, trembling from the force of your release. 

“I’ll make sure you never forget again.” He smirked into the kiss as he pressed his lips against yours, barely giving you any time to come to as he ripped off the remnants of your dress. “Sorry about that, doll- I’ll buy you a new one.” 

“It was my divorce dress, I never would’ve worn it again.” You giggled as you helped him out of his shirt and unbuttoned his trousers, desperate to feel him inside you. Your back arched instinctively as soon as you felt the tip of his cock rubbing against your clit; your head rolled back as you felt him slide in teasingly slow, letting you feel every last inch as he spread you apart and scattered sensual kisses down your neck. An obscene moan left your lips when he buried himself as deep inside you as he could. 

“Spence, fuck, I don’t know if- ah.” You struggled to get the words out as he stared down at you with amusement. “Too big, I-“

“A few months without my dick and you’ve forgotten how to take it?” He jeers, a twisted smile radiating from him. “That’s no good at all, baby. We’re gonna have to teach you all over again.” 

You bit your lip to conceal the whimper that threatened to spill as you nodded obediently, hanging off his every word. 

“Breathe.” He pulled out by just an inch or two, ensuring you would barely notice before slowly pushing his hips forward and plunging himself to the hilt. 

His hair dangled over his forehead, the unruly locks almost tickling you as he hovered above you, waiting for you to adjust to his thick length. 

“Mm…” You peeped, looking at him coyly like butter wouldn’t melt. 

“Yeah?” He whispered, nudging his nose against yours before you nodded. With the thousands of times you’d made love, he knew the meaning of every subtle cue and whimper; he knew you were often too shy to speak so he let you get away with using your varying whines as a form of communication. His dirty talk overwhelmed you, leaving you flustered and speechless- and he knew just how much you loved it.  

Spencer pulled out half his length this time, grabbing you by the jaw to hold you lovingly as he thrusted in and out, making sure to look you in the eyes as his swollen cock massaged your walls. Ever the shy one, you tried averting eye contact and looking away from his intense glare but he gently guided you back with a firm hand. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling as he made love to you, your twisted eyebrows and parted lips too sweet to ignore.  

You cried out when his thrusts grew rougher, panting heavily as he fucked you even harder than you remembered. 

“You can take it, baby.” He cooed as he fucked you deep and slow. “I know you can.” He pulled out almost all the way before plunging his cock back in, coated in glistening arousal. “Deep breaths for me, doll.” He breathed with you, setting a tempo as you struggled to get anything but your whorish moans out.

“You like it when I stretch this little pussy out?” He groaned, wet flesh and skin smacking against hip bone. “Yeah you do.” He smirked as your cheeks flushed red at his lewd words. “How were you going to go through with a divorce? You can’t even tell me you like the way I fuck you.” 

“Spencer!” You gasped, partly at his vulgarity and partly at the way his tip just brushed against your deepest spot, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. 

“What, baby?” His hands trailed their way down to your hips as he sat up, gripping the handles of your body tightly as he fucked you onto himself. “We both know you could never find someone who fucks you this good again. Who pounds into your cunt exactly the way you need it.” Your jaw dropped at his crude words- he’d always had a penchant for making you flustered but it was clear that prison had made him even rougher around the edges. As much as you wanted to knock him down a peg, you couldn’t deny the truth to what he’d said; there was no upgrading after Spencer.

“You’re cockier than I remember.” You manage to breathe out, glassy eyes watering with overstimulation. 

“And you’re tighter than I remember.” He smirked maniacally as he started rubbing rough circles into your clit, not slowing down the way he was sorely pummelling into you. “Goddamn, angel, you take me so well.” He muttered under his breath as he observed the mouthwatering way in which your pussy swallowed his entire length, gushing with arousal as the wet smacking intensified. 

He swooped down to kiss you, swallowing your moans with his eager mouth as he pushed your knees against your chest. “You feel that?” He shuddered, guiding your hand to your stomach where his member was poking through the flesh, leaving an imprint.

“Uh huh.” You panted.

“You like having my cock this deep in your guts?” In an unexpected move, he pressed down on your lower stomach as you nodded to his question desperately. You screamed in blinding ecstasy as you reached your peak, the borderline cruel way in which Spencer continued pounding against your sweet spot proving too much to take. 

“Look at that, I got my answer.” He licked his lips at the sight of his cock glazed in creamy arousal as he pulled out with a groan. You lay motionless on the cushy sofa, limbs numb as you noticed the scowl Spencer was sporting on his chiselled face, small beads of sweat running down his temples. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” He chuckled darkly. 

“Resting?” You upturned your eyebrows sweetly. 

Before you could protest, he dragged you down the sofa and turned you over, positioning you to arch your back and expose your throbbing pussy to him. 

“You think I’m going to let you get away with one round?” He spanked your ass with a firm, open palm. “I know you’ve been whining about this all the time to your friends. I know how desperate you’ve been for your husband to fuck you. Well, honey- I’ll give you something to talk about.” Before you could respond, he guided his veiny cock into your squishy walls, not giving you any time to adjust to the stretch as he pounded into you from the back. 

“Is this what you wanted?” He demanded as he grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you up, holding your back flush against his body. “You wanted to be fucked like a whore? Answer me.” 

“Yes! Yes, Spence, I want it so bad, treat me like a slut.” You surprised yourself with your sinful words, the rough treatment prompting you to act out of character. He pushed you back onto the bed, holding you down as he drilled into you with dizzying speed. The couch squeaked with the force of your face getting pressed into the pillows as you panted so breathily you thought your heart might give out. You bit into the cushions as drool seeped freely from your mouth and wet the dark grey fabric. 

“Harder…” You murmured, barely audible.

“What was that?” Spencer asked in disbelief, slowing down a little to make your words out clearly. 

“Harder. I want you to fuck me to within an inch of my life.” You confessed sultrily and a dangerous smirk crept across your husband’s face. 

“Anything for you.” He was more than happy to comply with your request.

You spent all night tangled up in each other’s bodies, taking turns being mind numbingly rough and tooth achingly sweet. He whispered confessions of love in your ear one minute and he pinned you down hard enough to leave bruises the next. It was, without a doubt, the best night of your life.

Waking up the next day in Spencer’s arms gave you more euphoria than any drug ever could. He smelled of last night’s wine and sweat, intermingled with the floral detergent of your freshly washed sheets. 

“Good morning, baby.” He cooed when he saw your eyes flutter open. “Or rather, good afternoon. How’d you sleep?” 

“Never better.” Your husky voice replied. “But I don’t think I’ll be able to walk for a while.” 

“I guess I’ll have to carry you to your mother’s, then.” He chuckled, pulling you in closer so that your head rested on his smooth, bare chest. 

“What? You’re not still serious about doing that.” You looked up at him pleadingly. 

“Oh, yes I am.” He scolded playfully. “She convinced you I was having an affair and encouraged you to get a divorce. I’d say there’s a conversation to be had there.”

“You know, I really wish you weren’t so respectable sometimes.” You dreaded the prospect of such a confrontation. 

“There was nothing respectable about the way I was splitting you open last night.” He countered mischeviously and you rolled your eyes to distract from the blush creeping over your cheeks. “Come on, I’ll buy us breakfast on the way. Get dressed.” 

“But Spence!” You tried to argue but he had already climbed out of bed, humming showtunes on his way to the bathroom. With a hefty sigh, you swung your legs round the side of the bed and started searching for your underwear. 

“Are you sure? It’s not too late to turn around.” You twiddled your thumbs standing outside your mother’s house, her near-black wooden door looming over you as you waited for her to answer. 

“Yes. Stop being a wimp.” Spencer replied just before the door swung open.

“Oh. Hi darling.” She eyed you up before slowly turning her head. “Hello Spencer.” 

“There’s my favourite mother-in-law. We thought we’d surprise you with breakfast.” He lifted the brown paper bag containing drive through diner food. 

“As if I’d eat that.” She raised her eyebrows contemptously. 

“Come on, mom, are you gonna let us in or not?” You piped up after seeing she had no intentions of making things easy for Spencer. 

“Yes, fine, in you come.” She opened the door wide and stepped aside, letting you both enter her lavish home. 

“Love what you’ve done with the place.” He commented a little snarkily, noticing the extensive remodeling work that had been done.

“Oh yes, we did it last spring. I suppose you haven’t been round for years so you wouldn’t know. Are you avoiding me, Spencer?” She took a seat across from you both in the living room. 

“Me? Never. Just like you’d never convince my wife to get a divorce, right?” He quipped and your stomach twisted over how little it took them to start arguing- you’d only just walked in through the door. 

“I’ve only ever advocated for what’s best for her.” She stuck her nose up at her son-in-law. 

“And why are you so certain that’s not me?” He snapped, genuine curiousity tinging his voice. 

“You’re not good enough.” She replied with a resoluteness that must’ve hurt. 

“Why, mom? What’s so bad about Spence?” You asked. 

“He’s just not who you were supposed to end up with. You were not meant to give up your life to be a housewife to a mediocre man.” She answered simply, like she didn’t even have to think about it. 

“So you resent him because of my career choices?” You couldn’t help but laugh a little as she shrugged. “Mother, I chose to leave the field. He had nothing to do with it, he supported me-“

“Oh, I bet he did. Having a woman at home to cook and clean must’ve been too tempting of an offer to pass up.” She scratched at her right arm- a leftover habit from the nicotine patches she used years ago. She claimed she quit smoking but you suspected she’d be in dire need of a cigarette after this conversation. 

“That’s ridiculous-“

“She’s right.” Spencer interrupted you. “I was more than happy to have you at home. I preferred it, really. And I didn’t say a word even though I knew you were making a mistake, even though I knew it wouldn’t make you happy.” 

“See. The pipe cleaner admits it.” She scoffed and you shot her a venomous glare. “Not to mention what you’ve put her through this year.” 

“I know I haven’t by any means been a good husband, but I wouldn’t cheat and I’d never want a divorce. I’m trying to make things right.” He confessed earnestly. 

“How?” She scowled, clearly believing him to be beyond redemption. 

“He got me a job at the BAU.” You chimed in, wanting to see the smugness wiped off her face. 

“And I’m seeing a therapist.” Spencer continued. “I’m determined to be better.” 

She sat there in silence, incapable as always of expressing any remorse. 

“I love your daughter and I’m not going anywhere. I’d like it very much if we could somehow start over.” He shot her those puppy dog eyes of his and you sincerely believed if she didn’t give in, she must be the only woman in the world immune to his charms. 

“Alright. Alright, Spencer.” She sighed after a short contemplation. “If my little girl is happy, I suppose I have no choice.” 

“The bastard actually managed it.” You thought as you witnessed his beaming smile flood the room with light, his vibrancy so infectious you knew even your mother noticed. 

“Glad to hear it, mom.” He joked and she choked on the water she had begun to sip.

“Don’t push it.”

“Told you it’d all work out.” He said excitedly while he opened the car door for you, practically skipping out of your mother’s house. 

“I know, and she actually invited you round?!” You shook your head in disbelief as he started the engine and drove away from her gated residence. 

“Maybe we’ll make these trips a weekly habit.” He suggested, resting his hand soundly on your thigh. 

“Not every week. I need some alone with my handsome husband.” You gushed, admiring his perfect side profile. 

“You must have me confused with someone else, lady.” He chuckled as he switched on the radio. “Oh my God, baby! This song!” 

“No way, I haven’t heard this since, since-“

“That time in college.” He winked at you and you threw your head back in laughter, precious memories flooding your mind as the familiar pop tune hummed on. 

“Yeah. That was the first and last time we ever do it on a carnival pedal boat.” 

“Hey, never say never- I see a lake right over there.” He pointed out the window as you drove by.

“I don’t think so, buddy.” You slapped his arm playfully. “Those days are behind us, we’re old and boring now.”

“If this is boredom, sign me up for eternity.” A warm smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“God, I love you, Spencer Reid.” 

“I love you even more, Mrs Reid.”

#spencer reid x you #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fan fiction #spencer reid criminal minds #criminal minds #spencer reid fluff #matthew gray gubler

[enid-rhees]

hiii i was wondering if i could request a hazel x reader fic where isabel hosts a party and the fight club all play seven minutes in heaven and reader gets paired with hazel and things get a lil hot n heavy

omg yes yes i love this sm !! tysm for your request anon <3 !!

— warnings: heavy make out session, nothing too spicy [MINORS DNI]

— a/n: i am now officially writing for Hazel 🫶🏻

“what are we? TWELVE?” Josie shouted, as PJ just suggested you all try to play Seven Minutes in Heaven.

Isabel had thrown a party only days after the fight on the field, and everyone in the fight club was invited. you took a seat next to Brittany, but also directly across from Hazel.

from your observation, she looked nervous, like she didn’t want to be here. you guessed that parties like this weren’t her thing, and they weren’t yours either.

she looked over at you, your eyes meeting. but you immediately broke your eyes away from hers, putting your attention back on PJ.

“oh c’mon! don’t be like that, it’ll be fun!” PJ argued back, “we have enough people! pleaseee!”

“okay! fine! let’s play it.” Josie finally gave in, sitting down next to Isabel. you chuckled at the small bicker, shaking your head slightly.

Isabel placed an empty beer bottle in the center of the circle. “so whichever two people it lands on, they have to go inside that bedroom,” she pointed to a bedroom behind Hazel, “and spend seven minutes inside of there. and don’t be fucking lame and sit in silence.”

you took a deep breath and crossed your legs, leaning your arms on your knees and holding your head up on the back of your hands. Isabel spun the bottle, and it rotated around everyone, and then slowed down, eventually landing on… Hazel.

Hazel stared at the bottle with a blank expression while everyone started to cheer. meanwhile, your heart has dropped. the thought of Hazel being with someone else in there hurt just a tiny bit.

“Hazel! you will be going with…” Isabel trailed off as she spun the bottle once more. it felt like an eternity, just watching the bottle spin and spin. you blinked, and suddenly the bottle was on you. “Y/N!”

cheering erupted from the girls once more. you looked up at Hazel, who was blushing profusely. your heart rate sped up, and then Isabel was pulling you up by the hand, pushing you towards Hazel.

“you have seven minutes! no more, no less! and do something good!” she shouted as she pushed the two of you inside the bedroom. she closed and locked the door.

the two of you stood frozen in place, unsure of what to do or say. you swore Hazel might’ve been able hear your heartbeat from how hard it was beating.

“one of us needs to say something.” Hazel pleaded in a whisper. “what am i supposed to say in this situation?” you responded back.

there was a moment of silence before Hazel spoke up again, “i’ve… noticed the way you’ve looked at me before.” you looked away from her when she said that, now looking down at the ground.

Hazel sighed and walked closer to you. she grabbed your face in her hands, forcing you to look her in the eyes again. she pulled you closer, and then your lips met.

it took you a moment to process what was happening, but then you grabbed her waist and kissed back. her lips felt so good on yours, it didn’t even feel real in that moment.

Hazel gently pushed you back until your knees hit the edge of the bed and you fell back on it. she crawled on top of you, keeping you locked in underneath her. your lips reconnected in a messy and needy kiss.

you had spent months fantasizing about this very moment, you underneath Hazel while she kissed you with all she had. your bodies tangled with each other, your hands wandering over her body, just wanting to take in every little bit of Hazel.

she kissed you feverishly, barely breaking apart from your lips to breathe. Hazel didn’t want to lose a second of any minute she would spend in here with you, not knowing if this would be the only time she would ever get to have you like this.

Hazel eventually broke away from you, but only to connect her lips to your neck. the shy, quiet version of Hazel you were so used to seeing had vanished, leaving you quite taken aback at how she was acting right now. you gasped as her lips softly sucked on the skin of your neck.

“Haze,” you whimpered, and she pulled away to look you in the eyes. you tangled your fingers through her hair and pushed her back down onto your lips.

you didn’t want this moment to end. anything to keep kissing Hazel like this, you would do it. she was so addicting, you still couldn’t believe this moment was actually happening.

Hazel’s hands slid under your shirt, and you shivered at how cold they were. she squeezed the skin of your hips, softly kneading the skin. you sighed into her lips, keeping your fingers locked in her hair.

the door suddenly swung open, not giving Hazel any time to pull away from you. all you heard was a screaming cheer in PJ’s voice. “shit, they were actually about to fuck.” Josie exclaimed from beside her.

Hazel crawled off of you and you both stood awkwardly next to each other, despite what just happened not even thirty seconds ago. “your time is up, girls.” Isabel smirked, “but it seemed like you two lost track of time, hm?”

her face turned a bright red while yours burned, and you two were suddenly avoiding eye contact once more. you walked out of the room and she followed seconds later. you leaned against the wall while she stood next to you still.

“i’ve been wanting to do that. for a while now.” Hazel admitted out of nowhere. you looked over at her, smiling slightly. “me too.”

she walked closer to you, now leaning on the wall with you. “you know,” you spoke again, and swallowed a knot in your throat. “we could always… ditch this party and go to my place.”

Hazel stared at you for a moment, before taking your hand in hers and dragging you to the front door, not even bothering to let the girls know that you were leaving.

#hazel callahan #hazel callahan x reader #hazel callahan x fem!reader #bottoms movie #bottoms 2023

[princessbrunette]

one thing about kook!pope, he’s a know-it-all — and if that’s not enough, he’s also nosy.

he’d developed an interest in you from seeing you around. quiet, reserved, sweet above all. when seeing you talking away to notorious fratboy, rafe cameron at a party — pope decided now was a better time than ever to break the streak of simply watching you from afar.

his voice appeared from behind you after what seemed to be a solid minute of watching you stare at rafe, waiting for him to give you some kind of attention from across the room. he doesn’t, continuing to shotgun beer and spill it obnoxiously on the floor solving all mysteries of why frat party floors were always sticky. “rafe cameron is a bad pick for you.” its said so matter-of-factly that it shocks you out of your trance, whipping round with wide eyes to look at where it came from.

pope stands there, arms crossed over his chest almost smugly, staring you down with a small smile. you knew of him, infact he always kind of fascinated you. total academic weapon, yet in with the cool crowd and his attitude definitely reflected this. he had to be so smart that he knew how to masquerade, you’d decided in fleeting thought.

“excuse me?” is all you manage and he takes a sip of his drink, slowly wandering round to stand at your side, the two of you observing the party. he swallows the bitter beverage with a squint, scratching above his top lip as he turns to you.

“rafe. you were talking to him. that guy will chew you up and spit you out, you know that right?” he speaks and you blink at him once more. you want to be offended at his audacity to comment on your choices but you’re too intrigued to step away.

“what makes you say that?”

he inhales slowly as he stares at the blonde boy — the two of you going totally unnoticed side by side like a pair of ghosts, pope playing wallflower with you just for a moment. “because he thinks it’s cool to do that. i mean, look at him. does he look respectful in the slightest? i’m only offering my two cents because i think you could do better.”

you’re confused, but flattered and your lip curls up just a tad. “yeah?” you ask unsurely. it felt nice to be seen. “how’d you figure? you don’t know me.”

“don’t i?” hes quick to respond with a smirk, like the mystery was exciting to him. “you were invited to this party, and if you haven’t already noticed i kind of know everyone. i’ve seen you in the library. you’re a hard worker. i can tell by the way you’re able to ignore everyone around you to get your head down to work that you’ll go places.” he praises, and you’re hooked, staring up at him for more. he turns his body to rafe, gesturing out to him with an arm. “rafe? not so much. he’s flunking every class, rumour has it he’s close to dropping out, daddy issues, coke problem, doesn’t tip waiters and he doesn’t go down on girls.”

the last sentence shocks you, but what shocks you more is the speed at which “do you?” flies out your mouth before you can stop it. your eyes widen, and he looks at you and chuckles — but not in a mean way. “wouldn’t you like to know?” he beats around the answer as he finally turns his fully body to you.

“pope heyward. am i making any sense at all with this whole warning thing?” he holds a hand out for you to shake and you smile. it’s been a long time since someone’s offered you a handshake, and from his slightly dorkish cadence this was the final nail in the coffin to prove your own theory in that he had to be the biggest nerd in high school.

“yes.” you nod jerkily as you grasp his hand and shake it before telling him your own name.

“nice, i like that.” he compliments before a group of guys begin to call his name, hollering something about beer pong. he laughs, before turning his attention back to you. “think about what i said. don’t go with an asshole like him, trust me it’s bad news. you’re way better than that. anyway, it was nice to meet you.” you don’t realise he’s still grasping your hand until he brings your knuckles to his lips and presses a parting kiss there— hand lingering on yours for a moment and letting go, taking a step past you to greet his friends.

as he leaves, he turns back to you — now standing at your other side. “oh, and to answer your question — yes. i do go down on girls. i think men who don’t should be castrated.” he speaks so simply, before just like that he’s disappeared into a sea of bro’s, a fresh drink thrusted into his palm.

rafe was staring over the crowd to check on you now, to see if you were still fawning over him. however, your eyes were on someone else now — still watching the back of popes head as the smile lingered on your face, fingertips ghosting over your knuckles where he kissed you.

#pope heyward prompt #kook!pope

[ghostly-penumbra]

Ectoberhaunt 2023. Day Nine

"Dragon"

Ao3 and as a stand-alone

“Would you like a drink, Danny?”

“Just some pop, please.”

Danny’s boss snorted but accepted easily enough, handing Danny a can of cool Pepsi whilst he twirled his whiskey.

“So, do you like your job, Danny?” His boss asked without preambles.

Danny didn’t really need to think about it, he answered honestly, “Yeah, it’s chill. The pay is good and I’ve been kinda nocturnal since I was fourteen so the late hours are no problem for me. The tips are great too, and the patrons are… wild, yes,” his boss huffed a small laugh at Danny’s understatement of the night-club goers, but didn’t interrupt him, “but no one has, like, tried to punch me or something, so I don’t mind.”

“That’s good.” His boss said softly and drank some more of his whiskey. “Look, Danny, contrary to what you may have heard of me, I am not in the habit of conquering other realms and enthralling their rulers, so know that you are not my vassal and I don’t want your Kingdom. I don’t even want my Kingdom! I’ve quit! But! You don’t look like you want to leave.”

“I would very much like to keep my job, if that’s at all possible.”

Lucifer Morningstar, owner of the nightclub Lux and Danny’s current boss (so far, at least), put his tumbler aside and gave his full attention to the young man sitting across from him.

“I don’t want you to leave, either.” The Devil said. “You’re a good employee and even Maze likes you!” He said this like it was either the biggest honour or the biggest abnormality.

Mazikeen was cool, even if a tad violent, so he took the comment both ways.

“But you do know that it’s not a good look for the King of Ghosts to be working for the King of Hell, right? No matter that I’m retired or that you are alive.” He rolled his eyes at the last bit.

“Yeah. That’s, I’ll get an earful for that.” It would be from the Observants, though, and he really didn’t care for their opinion, so it would just be a minor annoyance.

“And whether you stay at Lux or not, the pantheons have certainly taken notice.” Mister Morningstar rolled his eyes again and looked at Danny with pity, which, yeah, inter-pantheon relations was not something the Ghost Zone wanted or that Danny was interested in engaging with.

“Ah, yes, the rammies.” He made a face at that. He really didn’t want any god (lowercase g, all of them) snooping in his realm to see what his relationship with the Devil was.

But if shit was going to hit the fan anyway, why not keep his well-paid job?

“It’s not a problem for me,” the Devil kept saying, “I’m happily retired! For you, on the other hand, they’ll see you as my vassal if you don’t really get anything out of this, –no, a weekly salary with legal benefits means nothing to these beings.” He said before Danny could interrupt. “If there was something I could just give you as a boon–” He stopped and a large smile slowly spread on his face. “That’s it! I am a genius!” He stood up and began pacing back and forth whilst Danny just clutched his can of pop.

“Uh, what is it?” Asked Danny, sipping his pepsi.

“I will give you Hell!” Ignoring his employee choking on his drink, the Devil carried on. “We can say you are my apprentice, or you can be my actual apprentice if you want me to teach you the ropes, and I will give you the Key of Hell and you can add it to the Ghost Zone! No one will be stupid enough to give you any trouble for it, and I will finally get my annoying family off my back.”

“But they’ll be on mine!” Danny protested once he stopped choking. “I don’t want to have Hell! I didn’t even want to be King of the Ghost Zone, I was just the dumbass that defeated the old one! I- I just wanna get through college, afford my half-life, and become an astronaut…” He put his head in one hand, the other one holding the can against his forehead.

Why this? Why couldn’t he be fired for sleeping on the bar, like a normal person?

“Oh, please, Danny, you’re a young King, hardworking too; you must want more than that.” Mister Morningstar looked him in the eye not obstructed by pop and spoke slowly, with intent, “Tell me, Danny, what do you desire?”

“To protect everyone I care about, anyone that needs it, to help them.”

“Mm, kind of basic and boring but-”

“And to reach the stars, to sail through them in the infinite night.” Danny blinked hard and shook himself off. “That’s not cool, sir.”

“Dual Obsession?” The Devil said, easily ignoring Danny’s complaint. “Not very common; befitting for a King. So what you want to do is help. You can do it being King of Hell!”

“That doesn’t sound likely.” Danny’s response only made his boss’s smirk return, and then the Devil really began his sales pitch.

How, if Danny became the new King of Hell, he could totally help redeem the souls of the damned, and since he was already King of the Ghost Zone, he could take the damned souls of the innocent there if Heaven refused to open the Gates for them, wankers that they were.

“What do you mean innocent souls in Hell?”

That only made the Devil lean in cheerily, “Oh?” He asked. “Haven’t you heard?”

Sold souls, of course. From people who sold their soul to delay their loved one’s death, to wronged firstborns whose parents wanted power no matter the cost. All of them, in Hell.

“That’s not fair.” Danny said with clenched fists.

“Well, it’s not like I have a neutral realm where runaway, wronged souls could take refuge in.” Mister Morningstar said, knowing he had the young adult hooked.

“I-” Danny tried to speak, but felt his core thrumming writhing him. He wanted to help. “I will… consult it, first, it’s- it’s too much.”

His boss nodded sagely, and once again looked him in the eye. “I will extend your insurance to your family and include dental.”

Danny would still consult it with Clockwork and his friends, but he knew he was sold.

#Danny Phantom #Danny Fenton #ectoberhaunt23 #day nine #dragon #ghostly-scrypts #cross posted on ao3 #CrossOver #Danny Phantom CrossOver #Lucifer (TV) #Lucifer Morningstar #surprise crossover #Ghost King Danny

[dxstopiaa]

Vocal Veneration

Synopsis: Lately, the Traveller can’t help but notice a alteration in someone’s behaviour. Seems like an interrogation is due.

Characters: Zhongli, Xiao, Childe, Ayato, Al Haitham and Diluc x Fem! Reader.

Warnings: None, the tiniest bit suggestive.. [I thought i’d try this cute idea out! <3 but i’ve been so tired and demotivated with school and family issues sigh, my eyes (ᗒᗣᗕ)]

Zhongli

About You: Impressions

Hm [Name]? Ah, a truly polite and welcoming young woman. She often accompanies me with affairs regarding Wangsheng Funeral Parlour, insisting on lessening my workload. I consider her a suitable role model for the children of Liyue. Excuse me? Are you insinuating that there’s something i’m not informing you of? Ahem, that is information i shan’t tell you just yet.

About You: Godhood

I had intended to keep my identity as Morax a secret, yet some citizens are more observant than i thought. She was the first to recognise such as she was a devoted follower of Rex Lapis, i find myself flattered. What? No, [Name] did not worship me after she knew i could hear her every request. She apologised profusely afterwards, and was quite embarrassed. Adorable.

About You: Betrothal

Ah, Traveller. Here, this is my engagement invite, i’d appreciate your appearance at the function. Oh, you saw this coming? Hah…I suppose it can’t be helped, perhaps love is inevitable as they say, i shall not make the same mistake, not again. Why, you ask? No matter, let’s not spoil the mood with a lengthy monologue, Farewell till then, my friend.

Xiao

About You: Impressions

[Name]? The individual who often pays her respects at the adepti shrine? I watch her from afar, sometimes she notices— but she doesn’t say much apart from a simple greeting. It’s refreshing to see a young mortal appreciating us nowadays where our job becomes less prominent. What do you mean my voice is quieter? It’s not.

About You: Karma

Whenever i’m with [Name], my karmic debt seems to take less of a toll on me. That burning sensation encasing my heart dissipates. She makes it bearable enough to manage. On some nights, she brings me gifts and food to take my mind from the terrors. Huh? I’m in love? Hmph. Foolish mortal emotions don’t interest me.

About You: Acceptance

So be it, as you predicted, me and her have grown rather close. No— this does not give you the opportunity to tease me for it. Adepti should value the short lifespans of humans, via protection but also expression, i was told. This doesn’t sound like me, you say? Hm, i fail to understand what you mean.

Childe

About You: Impressions

Ah! The illustrious traveller also knows of my co-worker! [Name] is quite unique, no? At first, she came off as a little apprehensive but she no longer hesitates to spend time with me exclusively. What was that? Professionalism and relationships should remain separate? Nonsense. This isn’t a romantic amour!

About You: Combat

I feel a sense of pride knowing that i have managed to teach someone how to master the rules of combat! It was only necessary, i couldn’t bear to witness my dearest injured. Wait! In the name of the Tsarista, promise not to tell [Name] i called her so, will you? Comrade, It was a minor meaningless slip up!

About You: Family

Ah, how i wish to return to the confines of Snezhnaya. I’m certain that Teucer and Tonia will adore [Name] too! She’s so sweet behind that closed-off persona, perhaps i can declare my love for her in person prior…Oh, you’re volunteering to help me? I’d adore some aid here, confessing isn’t exactly easy, you know.

Ayato

About You: Impressions

Do i know [Name]? Certainly, she is my wife after all. Hm, you were unaware? Is it really that shocking? Ah, it is not at all rare to see a commissioner with someone of a higher or alike status. It’s not that, you say? So you’re suggesting something about my personality. I see… I’d estimated you’d react this way nonetheless.

About You: Workload

As the Yashiro Commissioner, I am not exempt from towers of overflowing paperwork and contracts. My role, keeping peace between the Tri-Commission, can be quite taxing from time to time. Luckily enough, my beloved never fails to provide me with her delicious cooking and endearing words. [Name] brews the best milk tea for me, care to try some? I have a fresh batch ready.

About You: Heir

Oh my— why do you ask of such a thing? Surely this is too soon to be conversing about children, no? While we do intend to, ahem, expand the Kamisato bloodline, i fear of my duties interfering with my role as an attentive father for my child. Of course, the welfare of my dearest wife comes first. Hm, my face is flushed pink? False.

Al Haitham

About You: Impressions

[Name] is notably the only person i get along with, as she understands the definition of ‘boundary’. Not entirely ignorant but not annoyingly persistent either. I quite often find the saying that opposites attract to be outdated. Like-minded people are worth spending time with. Hmph, you know i did not mean it in that way.

About You: Akademiya

Why do you ask? I surmise it wouldn’t be too taxing to let you know. We were classmates within the Haravatat Darshan. She’d buy me food and drinks in return for working on projects together as she insisted. I accepted the offer, certainly better than joining the other entitled scholars. We must of been close? Huh, we still are. What’s so shocking? I’m not that arrogant.

About You: Emotions

I am least fond of expressing my feelings, i thought it was pointless and a partial waste of my energy when i can resolve such issues with my own logic. Admittedly, i was incorrect. [Name] always offered her time to listen to my very few words and i’d listen to hers. Fair exchange, i called it then. It wasn’t until an argument broke out that i learned not all experience comes from books, sometimes from people. Those words of hers became a principle to me.

Diluc

About You: Impressions

My spouse, [Name]? I don’t think i would know where to begin in terms of describing what i think of her. Loving, caring, humorous, gorgeous—need i continue? You’ve never met her formally…why don’t i invite you personally to Dawn Winery for an evening meal. She’d love to get to know you. Good, it’s settled then.

About You: Winery

After being left with the responsibility of the business at eighteen, i’ve developed a routine which i’ve mostly stayed consistent with. Having a family of my own now, there’s no doubt it is much different. Hm? My winery is big enough to accommodate them? Haha, they surely liven it up, keeping my wife and i busy as of late. Don’t worry, i treat her to all she likes afterwards with my income, wine and luxuries.

About You: Children

What—? No, i am contented with my two children. Hah, any more and i believe i wouldn’t be able to multitask between my profession and duties. Though i do quite like the idea of staying home on paternity leave with my beloved [Name]. Again, please, i request you not to suggest such…topics, my wife is already teasing me, not you too.

#we’re zhongli and xiao lovers here #genshin impact #genshin #xiao #zhongli #ayato #alhaitham #diluc #genshin impact xiao #genshin zhongli #genshin ayato #genshin alhaitham #genshin diluc #genshin x reader #xiao x reader #zhongli x reader #ayato x reader #childe #childe x reader #genshin childe #al haitham x reader #diluc x reader #genshin impact zhongli #genshin fluff #genshin al haitham #al haitham #genshin impact childe #diluc ragnvindr #pls pls pls

[dreamwritersworld]

The chore. (Sully family x reader)

hey! this is my first story so bear with me this is gonna be a slightly sad one 💕 also this does have scenes from shows i definitely was inspired by and used some of the situation to go based off of the story :)

Being the overlooked sibling was a difficult role to hold. Only time I was ever acknowledged was when I was constantly being yelled at and told what to do even if it wasn’t my fault. I am the twin of lo’ak but with his crazy antics it just makes it even harder to get the approval of my father.

I had to teach myself everything. Observing others actions and having to figure it out. Even with the sly compliments I’ve received, my parents just brushed it off. As you can imagine it only got worse when I got older but when Tuk came it was like a light was brought to me. I was always distant with my siblings no matter how hard I tried to just have a relationship with them they were so tight I couldn’t find any space for me to be included. Dad constantly held me at a higher role saying “y/n you need to be strong! what don’t you get? stop being so reckless and bringing your siblings into things.” Majority of the time I was yelled at for things that weren’t my fault, I just was caught in at the wrong time or blamed for not watching them. It all didn’t seem fair. It was not fair.

I notice how my parents treated me differently from my sisters and to say it didn’t hurt is a complete lie. It hurts all the time, constantly being put on the back burner hurts. Even Lo’ak and Neteyam got off easier than me. I don’t know why my father holds so much resentment to me or why he puts me to the side like I’m a stray but it wasn’t only him I’m silently mad at, it’s my mom too. Why? How could she sit there and witness it , not see it. I can’t even be fully upset I just must sit there and smile and just try better or as dad says “you need to start using your brain and do better, for THIS family!” I just wish I got the dad my sisters got. I wanted the dad who tended to me and my feelings instead of the dad who told me to suck it up saying it wasn’t ok to cry or show emotions.

Now thinking of it, the only time we talk or well when they talk to me is when they order me around or when dad yells at me. It’s become a daily thing that I take care of Tuk every since she was a baby it became my job. Not that I wouldn’t want to take care of my beautiful sunshine , it’s just keeps me tired sometimes but she’s the only one that truly knows me.

Today I actually have to go look over the war and observe from a far with my brothers but that’s in a couple of hours.

I decided to take a break from practicing and teaching Tuk new things for a quick game of hide n seek. This will only improve her quickness and alertness so it’ll help her. Only it’s been a while since I last saw her run in the forest so I whistled out for her, patiently waiting for her whistle back, something I taught her in order to hear that she’s ok! When I did hear a whistle I looked down and quietly went into the bush to catch her. “THE TICKLE MONSTER IS HERE!” Hearing her sweet giggle kept me strong. I need to keep her safe and it was getting harder to be around when she ran off with our other siblings getting into trouble. It was coming near the time to head with the war party so I hopped on my Ikran and flew to where I had to meet my brothers. We WERE spotting until Lo’ak decided to stupidly go down. Neteyam and I quickly went down for him with zero hesitation and tried to get him to get out. “Lo’ak cmon this isn’t funny I’m not kidding. we have to go. you don’t know what your doin-“ I said trying to stop my brother from doing anything more reckless, that was until we got hit.

All I could hear was ringing , trying to gasp for more air feeling blood rush down my body. I slowly opened my eyes seeing my dad take the boys and hearing Lo’ak “Dad! Dad y/n was with us! We have to get y/n!” He’s leaving. He’s leaving me. Knowing I’m down here. “She shouldn’t have been down there either. She’ll find a way home. We have to go.” In that entire moment my heart shatters. I wanted to just give up right then and there, everything that I’ve feared being true, that he didn’t give a single shit about me. I looked down to my side having a slight gash and my arm having a even larger gash. As I was escaping I can feel everything burn and my entire body fighting to even stay awake until I wasn’t. I decided to just take a break before I’d fall off my Ikran from exhaustion. Once I woke up it was already eclipse so I made my way to the healing tent and decided to just stitch myself up in order to avoid the trouble of pulling anyone out or getting more in trouble.

I never did this before. I mean I have observed and learned from a far since no one wants to teach me but stitching is new. Yelping in pain every once and awhile the needle pierced through my skin but once I was done I was only fueled by anger. So much pent up anger I didn’t even know I let go on for that long, just sitting in the silence trying to calm myself down before having to be yelled at once again for something I tried to fix not even that just that but, for not coming home before eclipse even when my own father left me in pain when I needed him. Actually considering the thought of leaving the forest and finally finding a place I can call home. I had already planned an emergency bag…this isn’t the first time I have had these thoughts, but this might actually be my last straw. Only reason why I didn’t leave was because of my baby sister. My thoughts were soon interrupted.

“Y/n you were ordered to SPOT. LOOK AT THE MESS YOU MADE-“ For a moment, for a slight moment. I actually was gonna take all the hits he sent my way but my anger, frustration towards him. towards his voice. towards his stupid orders. towards everything about him. “I’m. Still. Not. Home. I was injured and YOU left me out there to die.” silence was the only thing there as I stared at my parents resisting ever urge to cry tears of anger something I got used to as a kid being told crying was a weakness and it wasn’t ok if I cried, it wasn’t normal. “I-I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t see you, I-I-“ now hearing the ashamed feeling in my dad’s voice, but I didn’t feel bad because I KNOW he saw me bloody lying on the floor. I KNOW he had enough time. I KNOW he didn’t hesitate to leave me. And I KNOW he’s gonna deny it.

“HOW?! I heard it all dad. I heard Lo’ak calling for you to come back for me. I saw you look at me and you were completely fine in leaving me. You’re a liar and a shitty fucking dad….why tf would you leave me?…You are fucking dead to me.” Hearing my mom cut in “y/n no you don’t mean that!” I looked at her smiled and looked back at my dad “I mean every.fucking.word. You’re dead to me “Dad”. You know I have a lot of regrets…in my life but I gotta tell you Dad being your daughter is at the top of my list.” I took a moment to finally see his emotions…he was crying… to this I scoffed and laughed. “oh now you want to cry? yea you’re just draining. You just like going around to suck the spirit out of everyone.”

I try to stop myself , I try to hold back but the more I do the more bottled up feelings come out “no no y/n i see y-“ anger erupts even more “no don’t say that! Stop saying that! You drained me. And it fucking hurts dad. You. Don’t. Love. Me. You left me. When I needed you! And a real father someone who cares would never throw me to the side the way you did…you always had your favorites. You always blamed ME. It didn’t matter if I was there or not I was the one to blame. You don’t even know anything about me. You don’t care about me. You do not love me.” Tears fall. tears that I didn’t even know I had. So I laugh at them. I witness the regret and guilt rush to my parents head realizing how they truly forgot they even had y/n as a daughter instead of just a baby sitter or someone who just followed their orders. This was the moment they realized something inside their daughter was broken and it can never be fixed.

“I gave you all. Every part of me, I have given to you. Hoping that one day you’d open your arms to me and until that moment I held a patient smile. I know now that, the idea I dreamed of will never happen. Even when I would TRY talking to you, all your ever did was push me away. So while I did everything you asked of me and more. You considered me the chore, the job you didn’t want to do. Don’t worry now, I do not want your excuses because up until you left me to die, you WERE my everything.”

I walked out but not without noticing my siblings on the side I could see the realization hit their faces, realizing that they too forgot they had a sister. The sister that took care of Tuk, handled everything she was dealt with, and more importantly the sibling they also pushed away, the sister they didn’t even want to hear stories about when Tuk was talking. Then I see Tuk my sunshine, I smile taking in her baby face one last time.

Then I rush to “home” to get my bag that I packed, I’ve been waiting for this very moment, just waited for the bandaid to rip. I hoped that a moment like this would never occur, something in my heart broke knowing that it didn’t matter anymore it was bound to happen. I called for my Ikran, crying my eyes out realizing this was really it, and that I would have to tear away from all I knew in order to finally grow and be happy. That was until I felt a tug on my leg stopping me from getting on my Ikran. Tuk. “please y/n don’t leave. Don’t leave me. You have taught me everything please y/n don’t leave home. Or just take me with you.” My heart breaks all over again looking at the child that I practically raised even if she always returned to my parents arms at night or held by them in the evening. She’s the only thing that held me here, my baby sister, my sunshine. “Tuk I see you sister but, I can’t take you with me, I can’t let you leave your home.” I can only hear her heart shatter even more. “No sister. you will take me. your all I need right now. It’s always been us please. I won’t do anything without you.” I look back and forth contemplated for a little and then…agreed. I held her close and wrapped a blanket around her, preparing for the ride.

Again this is my first story so please be understanding! :) hope you enjoyed it 💕

#avatar #sully family x reader #sully family #neteyam x reader #jake sully x reader #avater the way of water #angst #sully family x daughter reader #loak x reader #Spotify

[hesbambi]

attention.

❝ beg for it. ❞

pairing; mark lee x (f) reader

genre/warnings; pure filthy smut, profanity, daddy mark,mark teasing you, you being desperate (the usual), finger sucking, thigh riding, making out, hints of sadism (?), dry humping, mark calling you good girl

summary; mark is not the saint everyone paints him out to be. you’re surprised at his reaction to your need of his affection. 

word count; 980

authors note; i know i said i wouldn’t be writing… i didn’t! this is something i’ve had for a while that just needed some freshening up! hope you all enjoy ;) if i have any misspellings it's bc im editing this at 3 am....

YOU LOVED ATTENTION.

it was a natural thing for you to yearn for. what you didn’t really expect was for you to beg for it. while meeting mark, you underestimated the power he has over you. unintentionally, his charm and charisma lured you in unexpectedly.

mark is sweet, kind, and well-rounded. never would you have assumed that “tease” would be a word to describe him.

you sat on his lap, arms around his neck and teasingly biting his lips. ceasing your makeout session at random times to tease him even further. your knees squeeze closer around his waist while his hand's sliver down from your hips to your thighs. he grunts every time you scoot closer to his crotch, his visible hard-on pressing against your clothed core.

breaking your lips apart from his, you rest your hands on his knees, leaning back to catch air while closing your eyes. slightly panting at the intensity of the contact of lips. mark opens his legs wider, hands back on your waist. squeezing your hips with the desperation to be in you, he sits back more comfortably while he rests back against the couch.

his hand slivers up to your throat, bringing you face to face with him. the last thing you hear is a gravelly “god fucking damn,” before your body buzzes again. mark brings your lips against him, smothering you in his taste. closing your eyes you feel nothing but a dopamine rush throughout your veins and your pussy pulsing to have mark on you. your body seems to be burning every second mark touches you. his hand lays against the back of your neck, somehow pushing your lips even further into his. teeth clash into one another but neither of you pays no mind.

you don’t notice the whimpering noises in your throat– not so subtly made– or your core trying to push against mark’s jean-clad cock. you do though– notice mark's tilting smirk that edges you on further to let him roll his tongue into you. a guttural groan breaks the thin air. “fuck baby,” mark breaks away after noticing the way your hips try to push against his cock even more, almost like you were instinctively searching for him.

“more mark p-please more,” you exclaim while gripping his static hands on your hips. you needed him, and badly, desperately, like your brain or body is unable to function without his dick in you. heat rising from your tummy while waiting for mark to take you to his room.

“beg for it.”

startled at the way he sounded, demanding and absorbed in his own arousal. he doesn’t wait for your response, only moving you onto one of his thighs.

“know how much you like attention baby, better give me a good show.”

you say nothing other than whimper at his command, too desperate to at least feel something, even if it were his thigh. your underwear is nothing but a shield against his rough jeans. huffing at the difficulty to get off– even if you were still being stimulated– it wasn't enough. you needed mark. “please please mark,” you beg, hand scratching against his abs while the other tries to touch his hand.

“you better get off my thigh or you’re not getting anything at all,” mark swats your hands away and settles his hands on your hips once again. tears form from the frustration. mark knew, no matter what you tried to do, you can’t get off without him. he says nothing after, only leaning back and observing you in amusement and need. wetness seeps through your panties and onto his thigh, making the air thicker between you two as you both glance and acknowledge your wetness.

mark was on edge. he loved seeing you this way– desperate, trying to get off with no avail. he was edging himself along with you, palming his achy and leaking cock. groaning, he couldn’t wrap his head at how beautiful you looked. tears dampening your eyelashes, cheeks heated up and legs tense from the frustration.

he says nothing as he tenses up his thigh, enjoying the way you throw your head back in relief he's giving you something. you rock your pussy against him faster, almost bouncing on him, gripping his shoulders as mark traces your lips. spending a few seconds circling, entering his pointer and middle finger into your mouth to make you gag.

becoming breathless from not only the intrusion but the euphoria you feel head to toe. fastening your actions, bubbling in the excitement that you finally get to come. at least, that's what you think until you hear mark utter, “don’t come yet.”

you’d be embarrassed to see yourself in your haze of arousal, begging more than you would ever admit. sucking on mark’s fingers like it was the actual object you longed for, letting him gag you with his fingers and spanking you heavy-handedly.

“say thank you,” mark states, gripping your chin to bring your face closer to his. his fingers still in your mouth, you moan at the heat rampaging throughout your body, tingling all the right nerves for release. impatiently, he lets go of your chin and slaps your behind again, urging you to say the words. you don’t waste any more time, knowing his command is all you need to let go.

“thank you, daddy, th-”

“good girl. let go for me baby,” mark utters breathily, teeth clenching while watching you shake on his lap. moans spilling out, increasing in pitch as you cum. laying flat against his chest, catching your breath, and wiping away the tears from your eyes. mark kisses you on your forehead, resting against you.

“did so well baby, feelin’ okay?” he asks. nodding your head, you slither your hand against his bulge. mark groans out in surprise, giving you a questioning look.

“thought i’m supposed to give you a show, daddy?”

#nct mark #mark lee #nct mark lee #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #nct smut #nct dream smut #mark lee smut #nct mark smut #nct drabbles #mark lee x reader #lol hope you enjoyed #sigh #i felt like a middle aged woman writing her spicy books #anywayyysss enjoyyy #wormythoughtswithh

[acozysoulwrites]

An unexpected comfort | Fem!Tav x Astarion

Description | Tav (you) is feeling down and Astarion sees her crying. Then offers comfort to his best ability.

Contains | Sad Tav, soft Astarion, Astarion being the bestest comfort character that he is <3

The day had been exhausting. her heart ached with every beat and her lungs expanded and collapsed in shudders.

There were so many things wrong, her mind raced as it tried to pick one thing to cry about, but instead, she cried about it all. About her family, about her past, about the tadpoles that she and her newfound friends dealt with. she cried, and she didn’t care who heard her, nothing mattered right now.

Footsteps shuffled around the camp, Gale and Wyll muttered things about spells and she saw Lae’zel and Shadowheart having yet another heated discussion, most likely about their beliefs, which were far opposite of the other’s.

A twig snaps behind her and she knows who it is before they speak. Astarion.

“Hello my sweet- oh” his voice falls flat, faint concern laced in the ‘oh’ as he spoke. His head tilts in confusion before he rounds the fire, sitting just across from her.

“Is… something the matter?”

She sniffs, reaching up to wipe the tears from her eyes, but instead, they smear and glisten in the fires light.

“Ah ah-“ He tuts, “I wouldn’t try that. I already saw them. Tears, big ones…” his voice softening just a little.

She frowns at the vampire, unsure of his intentions. He could be toying with her for all she knew, but she didn’t have the energy to sift through the underlying meaning of his concern.

Astarion frowns, and there’s a smile on his face, one of his sly, terribly hard to read smiles.

“You know…”

For a moment, she thinks he’s about to come onto her, that some sick part of him finds her tears arousing… enticing. Her glare becomes more fierce.

He takes a sharp breath and continues, “This isn’t like you, not at all actually” He declares, absolutely sure of his statement.

Her eyes remain like daggers into him as she speaks. “You don’t know me”

Astarion looks away, there’s truth behind her words. “No, but i watch you”

Her eyes widen.

“Not in some- weird way—“ He quickly adds. There’s a pause, his eyes scan over her face with a sense of longing. “I’m self centered… but not so much that i can’t notice a beautiful creature right in front of me” He smiles.

She remains silent, her brow twitches upward slightly, as if she’s expecting more.

Astarion sighs, “Look, i just mean that from what i’ve observed, you aren’t the type to keep your problems to yourself. I see you chat with Gale from time to time… So, chat with me”.

Her eyes soften slightly and as she opens her mouth to speak, the dried tears stretch across her cheeks uncomfortably. “I don’t know how to describe it” She mumbles.

The vampire stays quiet, waiting patiently. He watches as she chuckles weakly.

“I am haunted by my past, by my father, by my mother’s pain” She croaks, her words coming out in cracked versions of themselves. “But mostly, I am terrified that I will fail you all, that we will become monsters and I will have to die knowing I couldn’t save anyone”.

Astarion blinks at her slowly, this behavior resembling that of a cat. It makes her smile just a little, she’d always found the elf to be most beautiful, but tonight, under the starlit sky and behind the dancing flames, he was astonishing.

“See? You’ve no idea what to say to me now, do you?” She asks, her words heavy with hurt.

Astarion’s eyes fall from her, he runs his tongue along his top teeth, stopping at his fang as he thinks.

“Come to my tent tonight” He finally says, his eyes back to hers.

She blinks at him, frustration boiling up inside her. “Excuse me?”

“No- No!” Astarion closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I’m not… always on about that, you know. I just meant, once everyone is asleep come to my tent and we will talk about these worries you burden… unless you’d rather speak with gale” He says, using a mocking tone to speak Gale’s name.

She chuckles, her heart finally feels lighter for the first time in weeks. This was the last thing she’d expected to happen tonight, especially from Astarion, but she couldn’t be more grateful.

“Okay…” She nods. “I’ll see you tonight”.

Astarion stands and dusts himself off. “Now get yourself up, the ground is absolutely filthy after a rain like we just had” He says, his usual sass back in full swing.

—

Authors note; could someone please let me know if i capture his character well, and if he’s in character at all? Astarion is a very interesting character to write and a bit difficult, but i’m learning as i play the game <3

#astarion x reader #soft astarion #astarion x tav #tav bg3 #tav #bg3 #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction

[astro-rainbow777]

Astrology Observations

Volume I

Disclaimer: Please take these with a grain of salt as I am not a professional. These are just some of my observations I’ve seen from studying random people in my life. I hope you enjoy💕

💐I know someone at work with a Taurus stellium and one of her Hinge posts says her love language is gifts, and said (jokingly I hope) that she would preform sexual favors for a guy if he bought her m&m’s lmao. She also was hooking up with this guy at our work, that she had no intentions on dating, and would get sooooooo possessive if she saw him talking to any other girl. She also talks about being possessive all the time with her “play” friends ;)

🍬 I have my 6th house and Taurus and work with sooooo many Taurus placements. I chart 75% of my coworkers and the ones I talk to the most have Taurus placements, kinda cool.

❤️‍🔥As a Scorpio Moon I’ve found myself really drawn to and appreciative of the Aries Moon nature. They are so direct & assertive with how they feel. I appreciate this so much because I don’t ever feel the need to worry if they are hiding anything from me. Especially when you really get to know an Aries moon, what you see is what you get. They also validate and encourage me to express my big feelings which makes me feel so safe! As a lot of you know Scorpio Moons can be very secretive with our feelings because they can be so big and scary to others. The last thing we want to feel is ashamed for how we feel things and Aries moons get that, and they genuinely don’t hold a grudge against you for anything you say whenever you’re emotional. Just having that type of energy in a connection makes healing and growing in a relationship 10 times easier for us! Thank you sm to the Aries Moons out there! Just to add the 2 Aries Moons I am close with have Scorpio in their personal placements as well….if you don’t relate maybe that’s why lol

👽Scorpio & Virgo in big 3 🤝 Being the most observant people you will ever meet in your life! They pick up on the teeniest little things ever, for ex. If you have a stain or wrinkle anywhere on your clothes that’s the first thing they will pick up on. Also this combination is usually not a fan of change from my experience. Like if you move something from the “correct” place 4 inches over they will be like “Why are touching my shiz brah?”-Never fails. They like the routines and the consistency. They will literally spot a bird 10 yards away and be like omg is that a gRey-WIngEd trUmPetER?!?!! And I’m like how??? How did you even? These people notice everything, probably a great investigator too-same with Gemini/Scorpio placements!

♟️I promise you Virgo placements care about doing something “correctly/right” more than you do- even whenever it doesn’t directly effect them. They are so funny in the way that they operate I love them 😂 If you ask a Virgo to hang up a picture on the wall- please make sure you have a leveler!!!! They will spend 15 minutes minimum making sure that it’s even, if you don’t provide the necessary tools they will rehang something until it is perfection! Once a Virgo was doing a double nose piercing on me and kept redoing the mark of where she was going over and over and over again just to make sure it was perfectly even with my other piercing. Which I appreciated but I could tell if I left the shop with a lop sided nose ring it was going to bother her more than it would me! Very Wholesome peeps- ily guys fr 💙

☮️Gemini Venus’ do tend to be pretty loyal from my experience- but if they are bored or in an unfulfilling partnership they have the tendency to mentally cheat like doing tarot readings to see if their ex still thinks about them type of shh 😭Also the type to gossip about their partner or make up rumors about their relationship. Then they go home to their boo and act like nothing is wrong? 7th house Gemini tho can be very flighty whenever it comes to intimacy (I have this placement)- I am extremely loyal but if me and my partner get into a fight I’m prepared to break up always. I have a 7th stellium tho so I’m not sure how y’all would relate or not 💗

🏖️Leo moons NEED a creative outlet in order to be emotionally fulfilled imo! They thrive having their own little show-from what I’ve seen with these guys they love having a hobby they can share with the world and regularly be the center of attention. No joke-these people are some of the most talented beings I have met in my life! They 100% have a gift or a niche they get a lot of positive attention for and desire to share with the world. Every Leo moon I have been close with loves to perform for their loved ones- it is so wholesome like they are sharing a part of their soul with you⛲️

🐟Heavy 12th house placements (mainly Mercury & Venus) read poetry regularly or relate a lot to poetry. Even if it’s like little Tik tok or instagram posts. I’ve also noticed these guys like to just have books-even if they don’t read regularly? I lived with a 12th house Mercury w/ Neptune in the 1st house and they like to read poetry but only whenever they are depressed. I think that this individual in particular also just really likes for other people to think that they are super poetic themselves. They like to talk about poetry and the arts but I’ve lived with them for almost a year and they rarely do artsy things. Venus in the 12th though genuinely loves poetry and regularly reads it. Venus in 12th is also BEAUTIFUL AF but thinks they have nothing to offer most of time? Like I don’t understand. Blind to their own beauty but so quick to see everyone else’s. Angels 😇

🦀As a Cancer stellium (Mars, Venus, Jupiter) in the 8th, I have lied to people about how I am feeling, or what I am doing as a form of emotional protection. I used to rarely let my friends and family know how I am doing-especially if I’m doing bad. I regularly feel bad for being upset with others, and it leads me to just completely abandon emotional honesty if I don’t think someone will take to my feelings/boundaries well. I AM SENSITIVE AND DELICATE and I’m also damn good at hiding it for I have thine Scorpio Moon in 12th🧚‍♀️ People only know what I want them to know- I’m in therapy guys! So please don’t worry about me 🥸

🌝P.S. happy cancer season reeeeee

I hope you enjoyed my first lil observation!!!🎉

I encourage feed back and kind constructive criticism! Please lmk how you felt and how you relate! Let’s connect! Let’s talk! Mwah 💋

Ty sm for reading 💕

-Kya

⬇️FEAST YOUR EYES FOR THIS IS MY NATAL<3

🌈 I LOVE RAINBOWS 😇

#astrology signs #astro community #zodiac #astrology #pisces #aquarius #capricorn #saggitarius #cancer #cancer mars #cancer stellium #virgo #scorpio moon #scorpio #8th house #12th house #leo venus #leo moon #leo #aries moon #aries sign #aries #astrology observations #astro chart #natal chart #taurus #taurus stellium #libra #gemini venus #gemini

[accio-victuuri]

fandom thoughts & are cpfs really gonna get banned from yibo related comment sections? 📝

i may regret publishing this cause it will, like it always does, attract the wrong sort but whatever. i don’t really care. for someone who has been here for a good number of years, i have really learned to pick my battles especially fandom-wise. i can tell you that every week, there will always be some kind of trouble going on with fans and you will be exhausted if you obsess over each one of them. i have said before that if there is anything that will drive me out of stanning the boys, it’s the toxic fandom — so that’s why i mostly steer clear. hence, having this small space for myself on tumblr.

the fandom disagreements, whether that’s within cpfs, so/o vs cpfs, so/o vs other so/os and we somehow get dragged is always gonna be there. and it’s not really unique to our fandom. the question tho is why you are here? is it to participate in fan wars or to consume content related to xz and wyb? is it to be famous and get followers? etc personally, i’m here for xz and wyb. the active fandom is a bonus. there are so many things i love about the cpf community, but my priority will always be xz and wyb + their career. i mostly get involved if the issue makes it on HS and if it’s to amplify something positive within the fandom.

lately, i’ve mildly spoke up about people accusing cpfs of buying likes cause it was all bs.

which leads us to the next topic of being banned..

i guess this is a “hot topic” in other platforms that love drama.

so for the past days, including weibo night, cpfs have been commenting en masse in comments section. for example, with yibo’s weibo night post and ybo’s recent post about bystander ep photos. what you will notice is the use of ❤️💛 💚 to highlight that we are cpfs. the same thing is done in xz & xzs post. the only reason why we are more visible in the top comments of yibo posts is because motos are disorganized. i said what i said. i see efforts for their coordination but cpfs are just more organized when it comes to doing likes and votes. xfx are so much better than us on this tho. they have lots of professional fans. omg i’m gonna get dragged for being a xfx lol but it’s the truth.

you must notice that the friction between cpfs and motos have been happening for a while now. going as far back as SDC 5 finals ( even before that actually ) and so on. this is why i’m not surprised that this stunt from cpfs triggered them again. ⚠️

the short answer is, no one is getting banned. what they can do tho, and that includes YBO is to report these comments as spam. and if you look at it, they do look like spam posts. if a user gets reported multiple times, then that is when the ban comes in. i don’t think they will be spending money on censoring certain emojis tho. i tried right now and you can still send it.

i have seen some conversations on wb among cpf, that the comments should not be like this. it should really be actual comments on what is being shared. that we should not include xz’s name or face. that’s what i like about the fandom, cause we can admit if we do something wrong or if we need to improve in some aspects. we don’t blame other people, which is what other fandoms love to do btw. it’s all they can do. lol.

and it doesn’t help that in yuehua’s recent post regarding yibo’s lawsuits, the top comment is about demanding to control the comments section of yibo related posts. so of course they will look into that. sadly, the group that the company will always appease are the solo fans. it is what it is.

so that’s basically what the issue is about.

i’m actually just observing at this point but it’s not where my focus is. i am personally excited about saturday and seeing captain yibo 💥 plus i have other interests and things happening irl. this is why i don’t get people who seem to only be in fandom to start fights or obsess over cpfs. can’t relate.

i’m not saying that we should ignore everything and pretend that things are perfect. the point is, do not obsess over every fandom drama. also, look at things from cpf side before so/os. people usually come to me, sending me things that so/os say and my question is why the hell are you reading their posts? why are you in there? let’s stay on our lane. they are so/os, of course they will be biased. and don’t expect me to be always up in arms about stuff like this. my energy for over reacting is primarily for cpns and not fandom wars & drama.

lastly, being a cpf is not for the glass hearted. if you are weak-willed, this is is not for you. or maybe it is and this is the fandom that will build you up. i hope more and more people will find that perfect balance in participating in this fandom. that we set and implement boundaries — i know it’s especially hard for the new ones — when you are bombarded with the negativity. it’s not all that. there is so much more positive things to gain in being a cpf if you know where to look 🫶🏼

#yizhan #bjyx #personal #fandom drama #hugs to all cpfs 🫂🫂🫂 #if you all have nothing to do then watch tgcf

[boydepartment]

“i’m in love with you” - with enhypen

a/n: last post for tonight i am sorry i’m trying to get back in a groove i promise

warnings- angst, fluff, it’s a good mix 😋 reader is intoxicated in jakes

wc- i’d say 100 words per member

MASTERLIST

jungwon- stupid for you by waterparks

you knew jungwon was a smart man. he always had a plan and he was always observant. until it came to you. oh my god he was so so so stupid. for years you were pining after him and always hyping him up. he always thought that’s just what friends do. so one day when you were hanging out at the dorms he turned to you.

“i don’t think you’ve ever had a crush on someone? that i’ve known about?” jungwon was curious. because he did like you, hell he LOVED you. he was just too stupid to realize you actually liked him back.

“because i haven’t.” you shrugged simply, you saw his face fall so you continued speaking, “…but i have been in love with you for years now.”

heeseung- my love mine all mine by mitski

heeseung and you have been dating for a couple months now, your relationship healthy. something you never thought you’d get in your life. for the most part you thought you’d die alone or unexpectedly. your luck was always against you, except when it came to heeseung… you both were in the kitchen slowly swaying back and forth. he told you about his busy day and you just watched him talk. his little mannerisms making your heart feel so warm.

“what’s going on in your pretty head right now, princess?” his smile got you

“i’m in love with you.”

jay- sea of love by cat power

jay had been in love with you since he became sentient. he spilled something on you in daycare and that was it. you smacked him upside the head and BOOM sentient. you were his first real memory. he’d never want that taken away from him.

but people grow, and move apart from eachother. and that’s what happened, while you continued studying, he became an idol. of course you still saw him for family things, but he’d always had a camera or body guard with him. it wasn’t the same anymore. so you distanced more. this wasn’t the lifestyle you liked or wanted.

during a holiday meal, jay finally got a minute alone and he pulled you into another room.

“what’s going on with you? i haven’t seen you in forever and now it’s like you don’t want to be around me…” jay mumbled

you looked at him now feeling extremely guilty, “i-i don’t know… it’s just a lot, your lifestyle isn’t for me and-“

it was now or never for jay.

“i’m in love with you. me being an idol isn’t forever. i want forever with you…”

jake- your graduation by modern baseball

you and jake had history. too much of it. it was constant of you calling him to pick you up from a party or something that you weren’t proud of. he was sick of it. jake was tired of watching you practically waste away. it pissed him off. and it honestly pissed you off, why did he care so much when he was the one who would never take your confessions of love seriously?

which led to the argument in the driveway, you drunk off alcohol and him drunk off anger.

“why do you even do this?! you didn’t used to be like this in highschool!” he yelled waving his hands around.

you poked him in the chest, “i don’t owe you any explanation for my feelings!”

“what do you have to be feeling about y/n?! to the point of making fucked up decisions!?”

his voice was loud.

you had enough, “IM IN LOVE WITH YOU AND NO MATTER WHAT I DO YOU NEVER NOTICE IT!”

sunghoon- kiss me by sixpence none the richer

sunghoon was infatuated with you. every spring you worked the saturday market. and every spring he would be your number one customer. always tipping you and always buying your produce. whether it be the apples, flowers, grapes, strawberries, anything. his favorite was when you made bracelets one year though. this went on for a really long time. sunghoon wanted to play the long game with you, you didn’t know he was an idol clearly. and he didn’t want to scare you.

“there’s my favorite customer! sunghoon how are you?” you’d smile at him. all sunghoon wanted was to kiss you, you and your bright smiling face.

“i’m really good today!”

he’d visit more than usual and the flirty banter would come back almost immediately.

“with how much of my stuff you buy i’d assume you’re like in love with me.” you laughed slightly

“i am. i am in love with you.”

sunoo- puppy princess by hot freaks

you had a boyfriend and sunoo was STUCK. he didn’t know why it bothered him so much that you were dating someone. you were his best friend, what was the issue?

oh yeah the fact he’s in love with you? yeah…. that’s a pretty big issue.

no matter what though, he kept you smiling and he kept dreaming. at some point sunoo couldn’t hold it in anymore. especially after your boyfriend dumped you out of the blue.

“he doesn’t know what he’s doing y/n. you’re too good for him.”

you looked at him with tears in your eyes, for a few minutes now he’s been joking with you trying to keep you laughing.

“i don’t know…. sunoo you’re gonna be biased because we’re friends.”

sunoo gave you a look, “i’m going to be biased because i’m in love with you.”

riki- apple cider by beabadoobee

you were never supposed to like him at all, you didn’t WANT to. neither did he if he was being honest. it was a weird dynamic between you and him. riki was conflicted and so were you, which led to both of you growing distant thinking the other was tired with the other.

one night when he had free time, he finally made his way to your home. riki obviously stuck out, it was dangerous and stupid but he was running on adrenaline. he knocked on the door hands shaking, when your parent called you from your room you were shocked to see riki standing there. he was obviously not supposed to be here.

“what’re you doing here?” you walked out and wrapped yourself up more when you shut the door behind you, now standing with him outside. it was cold and late, well later at night. you thought something was wrong especially when he refused to speak. you went closer to him and put a hand on his head to check his temperature.

“are you sick? did something happen? do you need to come in-“

“i’m in love with you.” he blurted out

#enhypen imagines #enha imagines #enhypen scenarios #enha scenarios #enhypen x reader #enha x reader #yang jungwon imagines #yang jungwon x reader #lee heeseung imagines #lee heeseung x reader #jay park imagines #jay park x reader #jake sim imagines #jake sim x reader #sim jaeyun imagines #sim jaeyun x reader #park sunghoon imagines #park sunghoon x reader #kim sunoo imagines #kim sunoo x reader #nishimura riki imagines #nishimura riki x reader #heeseung imagines #park jongseong imagines #enhypen #enha #enhypen fluff #enha fluff #jungwon imagines #sunghoon imagines

[thisisnotachair]

Good Omens Observation on The Power of Denial in Threes

I’ve noticed something while watching (and rewatching) Good Omens and I’ve not yet come across another mention of it online, though I’ve searched r/goodomens, and the gdoc linked from Neil Gaiman’s pinned post, perhaps I am not tumblr savvy enough to have found it. Anyway, I was raised Catholic in a fundamentalist-leaning community, and while I’ll probably be unpacking that for a long time yet, it has, oddly, been an advantage here through some familiarity with lore.

My observation has to do with the power of 3, more specifically, the power of a denial made 3 times.

In the bible, Jesus knows he’s going to be targeted, and tells Peter, “Dude, you’re going to deny me 3 times before the rooster crows.” And Peter’s all, “No way, man, you’re my bro, even when everyone else ditches you, I’m SO here!” Later, when Jesus is arrested, folks around town ask Peter, “Hey, weren’t you friends with that guy?” and 3 times he lies and says that he doesn’t know Jesus. After the third denial, a rooster crows and Peter breaks down because Jesus was right all along and he realizes what he’s done.

Good Omens:

S1E6. Adam denies Satan, saying he’s not his real dad because he didn’t raise him and he wasn’t around. Twice, of his own volition, he says, “You’re not my dad,” then Crowley prompts him to say it again, because HE knows that there’s power in the third denial. Adam says it again, and Satan crumbles.

Huh. Neat.

It gets better (worse).

S1E3. Crowley calls Aziraphale to meet him at the bandstand to discuss the situation. They can’t agree on what to do (rather, who should kill Adam), Crowley’s ready to give up and leave. Aziraphale tells him he can’t leave, as there isn’t anywhere that they could go (Armageddon would impact the whole planet), to which Crowley says, “It’s a big universe. Even if it all ends up in a puddle of burning goo, we can go off together.” Aziraphale is taken aback, surprised that Crowley suggests they go together. Crowley points out they’ve been friends for 6,000 years and *foomp* Aziraphale denies him, “Friends? We’re not friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common.” He says that he doesn’t like Crowley (liar) and that they’re on opposite sides, after which Crowley responds, “We’re on our side,” and Aziraphale says, “There is no ‘our side’.” Aziraphale has chosen a side, and Crowley saunters off, hurt. Denial No.1

S1E4. Crowley comes tearing up to the bookshop in his Bentley, and hops out to apologize to Aziraphale, though it’s a half assed, “Whatever I said, I didn’t mean it. Get in the car.” He’s in a panic because Hell found out it’s his fault that Adam wasn’t where he was expected to be, so his energy is a bit much. He says to Aziraphale, “But we can run away together. Alpha Centauri, lots of spare planets up there, nobody would even notice us.” *foomp* Aziraphale denies him again, “You’re being ridiculous.” He’s certain that he can sort it all out if he just has a chat with God, Crowley knows it’s futile and flaunts off petulantly. Denial No.2

I know you know where this is going.

S2E6. *sobs* Crowley’s second, “Tell me you said no,” absolutely destroys me. His struggle to get his words out when he wasn’t expecting things to be so… acute, then, “...if Gabriel and Beelzebub can do it, go off together, then we can. Just the two of us… just be an ‘Us’.” *foomp* Aziraphale denies him a third time.

Rationale For This As An Actual Thing:

Crowley stays engaged for a few more moments, mentioning the bookshop, and turning back when Aziraphale calls after him but his face is impassive once he sees that Aziraphale is still fixated on them both going to heaven. We know the denial has sunk in when Aziraphale’s, “I need you,” isn’t as effective as it should be. When that doesn’t land (at all), Aziraphale reaches again, reminding Crowley what he’s been promised, but that doesn’t work, either. Crowley’s mention of the nightingale is somewhat cruel, IMO, he’s taking his broken heart out on Aziraphale, yet it’s also his way of saying to him that it’s too late, it’s done, “We could have been …us,” the opportunity is in past tense. Crowley’s fierce [plausibly most re-watched kiss in history?] conveys his intention, his sincerity, and his hurt. He’s not trying to change Aziraphale’s mind, it’s too late for that. Rather he’s communicating in a way that Aziraphale will understand, explicitly: Crowley’s proposed “us” isn’t just about running off to another solar system on a friendly whim, it’s a real, explicit life together as more than friends that he's asked Aziraphale to share. And was denied a third time.

What about the rooster crowing, though? Huh?

Well, the last bits of scenes wrap things up insomuch as a heart wrenching season finale can at all, and they’re still watching each other. When the Metatron comes back and Aziraphale hesitates, he’s glancing out the window to look at Crowley standing gloomily by the car, and Crowley stands outside watching until the elevator door closes, maybe there is something that could mitigate that third denial[?]. At that, he gets into the Bently where the Nightingale [in Berkeley Square] song plays as he drives away, the nightingale has been a symbol of their love, now it is the figurative rooster crowing.

Notes:

I’m being careful about what fan content I consume because I don’t want to go into S3 with expectations, I’d prefer to savour it like my first ox rib. I enjoy reading things folks have noticed, but I don’t want to go down S3 theory rabbit holes much.

My observation is based on the show, I’ve consumed the first half of the book in a day, maybe I can finish it tomorrow. I just wanted to get this put into words now.

Aziraphale’s rejection of Crowley is more implicit than Adam’s rejection of Satan, so I could be reaching, yet I feel like Adam’s 3 explicit rejections matter, and this context is a slow reference back to it (and word on the web is that Neil Gaiman doesn’t do things accidentally).

Could it also be a Betrayed With A Kiss thing? Maybe, I don’t think Crowley is betraying Aziraphale here, though maybe symbolically it’s a way to make Aziraphale recognize that HE emotionally betrayed Crowley. I genuinely believe Aziraphale didn’t mean to, but it happened powerfully, meaningfully, and in such a way that it’s going to take a miracle [waggles eyebrows] to mend.

I’m sure Aziraphale is aware of the power of the 3 denials, but, plausibly, each time Crowley asked, there were other ‘tabs open’ that prevented Aziraphale from explicitly picking up on it.

I haven’t looked closely at how many times Aziraphale explicitly, deliberately defies heaven (in a significant way, not just small whims), perhaps there's something there that could be meaningful. [Starts from the beginning AGAIN.]

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens lore #good omens analysis #good omens thoughts #good omens theory #crowley #gomens #ineffable spouses #archangel aziraphale #anthony j crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow

[i-amyou]

I hate saying this because I’m going to sound like someone that hasn’t accepted that this is all an illusion and THAT, but I swear it isn’t. Just bare with me for this short time, pls

I’m watching my life fall apart before my eyes. And I feel so hopeless rn. because it’s like, for example, 2 minutes before something CATASTROPHIC happens in my life, you would have found me just living in peace, in full bliss, just enjoying my presence as awareness. Like I be feeling SO good (Ik there’s no “I” to feel, but I have to use these limiting terms), then boom. Something crazy happens, and not in a good way, and it always leaves me feeling super shitty and bad and it makes me forget everything I’ve learned in my “journey”. It’s getting worse every time, my body feels anxious, physically aching.

And this all feels so backfiring for me, because I feel like I can’t do anything. Even when I accept that this is still all me, and I could “seemingly control” it all and make everything fine again, I feel like I can’t, at least that’s what happens when I decide I’m not going to experience something like that anymore. It simply doesn’t happen. It’s like all I do is try and try, when in the moment, it doesn’t feel like trying AT ALL. So I really don’t know what i am doing wrong.

Like okay. It’s all illusory, but why does the illusion still have to be so shitty and stressful to the point it makes me forget everything/who I truly am? I feel like I just wanna cry and get into a spiral rn, sorry for venting

Breathe. Inhale, exhale, breathe. It's okay, everything is. You're Okay. All appearances are only seeming, you're safe. Nothing, no experience ever has any power to harm you, okay? Breathe and stay with me here❤

If you feel like crying, Do it. Don't hold yourself back, just because you believe you're supposed to be All Knowing Omnipotent being. Don't be so hard on yourself, your experience is still THAT. Your tears, your sorrows, everything is only seeming. Breathe. And observe it all.

This need to do something, the frustration, the hopelessness you're experiencing right now? It's also very much YOU experiencing YOURSELF. Because everything is " " by nature. Take away all the labels and you'll be left with nothing, you cannot really define Or describe anything. It just IS.

"I'm doing something wrong" a seemingly appearing thought.

"Illusion is shitty" another seemingly appearing thought.

"To the point it makes me forget who I really am" A thought. You see where I'm getting with this?

This experience must be very difficult for you, I understand. But nothing can stop you from being " ". You're always THAT, regardless of everything.

Effortlessly noticing and observing is your nature, by default. You can't stop that, it doesn't come with a switch to turn it off.

But I need you to be aware of being aware, okay? Notice this. How you've always been only aware. All experiences have been through awareness. There is no "I" That could've possibly gotten hurt in any way, if doesn't exist.

Breathe. Don't focus too much on pointers, focus instead on where they're pointing. You're okay. No matter what happens, whatever you experience, breeze through it.

Notice. Be aware. Rest in that awareness.

#ask #nothingness #consciousness #awareness #beingness #advaita vedanta #nondualism #realisation #nonduality #advaita

[mykoreanlove]

sweet whispers

It was a dark and stormy night. The vivid lightning of thunder illuminated the darkness outside. Raindrops pattered against the glass windows heavily, but you didn’t notice. You were laying in your boyfriend’s arms sleeping. The relationship between Chan and you was still fresh, yet somehow you felt the utmost peace when you were with him.

He was observing you cautiously. Even though he was exhausted from all the shows he had done in the last couple of weeks, he did not want to shut his eyes and sleep. Instead, he watched you toss and turn, murmur in your sleep. Watching you slumber filled his heart with love and his mind with peace. He adored your beautiful features, even more exquisite now that you were asleep. Chan noticed you babbling franticly, too quietly for him to hear so he pulled you closer into his strong arms.

“What is it, baby?” he murmured while listening closely to your rambling. You did not know you were talking in your sleep. Nobody had ever mentioned that before, but again only a few ever got the chance to see you so vulnerable at all. Chan’s whole demeanor changed as he understood what you were saying. It ached his heart to hear about your gruesome fears. You had not mentioned those to him while conscious, maybe you had not been ready, yet? Not wanting to push you he decided to reassure you in your slumber first. If you were ready to talk about it while awake, he’d gladly repeat himself.

Another loud thunder disturbed the peace of the night which made him chuckle. “Baby girl”, he whispered, “I kinda got the feeling that your inner world resembles the outer world pretty much.” Chan placed a soft kiss on your temple, careful not to wake you. He held you firmly in his arms as he began talking to you.

“Y/N, I don’t want you to be afraid. Why are you afraid?” Another low chuckle left his lips. “Oh right, you’re not going to answer me right now. That’s okay. Maybe it’s better if you hear it like this for the first time. Y/N, baby girl, I am in love with you. I’ve been head over heels in love with you from the second I saw you. I never believed in love at first sight but here we are. I think you are amazing. Beautiful, smart, kind, funny, insightful, sexy” – he paused, eyeing you once more to check if you were still asleep – “creative, inspiring, strong… I could list a couple more, but I think you get the gist.” His broad smile slowly faded into deep concern.

“I don’t understand why you would ever think that I was going to leave you. You are such a catch. Don’t you think I should be the one worrying?” Still deep in sleep you grabbed a fistful of Chan’s shirt which made him pause again and look at you compassionately.

„I know you are still asleep but that kind of felt like you confirming what I said. Wait, should I be worried?” Chan laughed out loud while grabbing his forehead.

“Oh gosh, look at me. I wanted to take away your fears and now I am feeding mine. But in all seriousness, Y/N, you don’t have to worry about anything. I want you in my life. I want you by my side. I want to be with you – all the time actually. I am the happiest when I am with you. I love being with you. I understand that past experiences have fucked with your head and made you close off your heart, I get that. And I guess you’ll need time to process that and open up again, that’s okay, too. I am here for you. I will be here every single day and reassure you of my love, baby girl.”

By now you stopped talking and tossing altogether, laying peacefully in his arms dreaming away. Chan noticed this too and put another sweet kiss on your head. “It’s like you understood every word I said. Maybe you did? Can you grab my shirt again or something?” He waited cautiously but nothing happened. A broad smile formed again on his lips.

“Y/N, you are worthy of love. You are worthy of my love. I don’t think you’re good enough. You are more than enough. You are everything. Perfect, just the way you are. You don’t have to change a single thing. In fact, I love everything about you. Can you believe that? Can you trust me? Can you trust in love? Relationships are actually kind of beautiful if you think about it. I will be your best friend and you will be mine. And we’ll go through life together handling the ups and downs - smiling, crying, evolving, fucking. I can’t wait for everything that we’ll experience in the future. Please don’t ever be afraid of me leaving you. I am here to stay – forever… if you let me.”

Chan whispered the last part into your ear hoping that it would get right through to you. He did not know if you could drop your fears of abandonment just like that, but he would never give up. On you. Or your relationship. Ever.

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