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#bruce & dick
randoparody · 2 months
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bianc0re · 2 months
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arcade night 🕹️🦇
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vodrae · 5 months
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Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?
Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.
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fact-dogsarehappiness · 2 months
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Another reason why I’m a firm believer in letting Bruce get old is because the idea of him looking and his dark haired children without his glasses on and genuinely not being able to tell them apart is unparalleled
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sumpter · 2 months
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ALSO the fact that tim drake canonically watches bruce get stabbed, spies on the titans tower, knows all of the titans schedules, spies on dick’s apartment with kori, breaks into dick’s old apartment, follows him to the circus, has kept newspaper clippings of batman and robin since he was able to read, knows what art bruce wayne collects, had dreams about being saved by batman and robin and y’all REDUCE his stalker tendencies to just he followed them and took pictures….. no. no, we need him crazier.
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panakina · 2 months
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I think it’d be funny if Dick and Jason, due to wearing bright yellow capes on the job for years, are capable of stealth to a frankly unhinged degree. They barely have to try anymore it’s so second nature. Dick can just completely disappear while in the loudest neon clothes imaginable. Jason is constantly startling people who don’t understand how they missed a guy the size of a fridge standing right there. Bruce is extremely grateful for his unbreakable poker face because they have both startled him by accident and would never ever let him live it down if they knew.
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redactedrem · 15 days
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Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.
Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.
He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.
He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.
Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"
"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.
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redsray · 2 months
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the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?
Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??
Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.
Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.
Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.
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ashoss · 20 days
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Psst! Maybe doodle a Bruce and young Dick spotted by paparazzi!
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Heartwarming! Bruce Wayne spotted walking with young ward Dick Grayson!
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danidoodels · 7 days
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Watching from afar
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I'm golden-child!Jason and not-even-a-silver-egg!Dick truther for life, and that's so funny.
Bruce is used to the chaos he calls his son, so when Jason actually behave, Bruce is soooo confused.
Like, what do you mean Bruce can tell him to not do something and Jason will??? Obey??? The order??? Dick would never.
Bruce, fully prepared for scandal: You are not allowed to jump from one wardrobe to another, it's dangerous for you.
Little Jason, who has no idea why he should: Ok? I wasn't planning to anyway.
Confused Bruce: You wasn't?
Little Jason who are scared to touch anything here, because it probably costs more than his life: I don't want to ruin the mansion...
More Confused Bruce: You don't?!
Or 
Bruce: so, you are saying that if I tell you to sit in your room and read books, you will really sit in your room and read books?
Little Jason, who has no idea why he shouldn't: Yeah?
Bruce, whispering to Alfred: I didn't know they could do that.
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melmov · 22 days
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Batboys profiles
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incorrectbatfam · 21 days
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Bruce is constantly asking the kids what they like to eat so he can freeze dry their favorites into oblivion as apocalypse rations
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oumu-omu · 8 months
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What if boys were adopted since baby
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except Damian.
(edit)
+ Cass and Duke are HERE
+ The third panel is Dick! It can be confused bt he's not Bruce! Is the oldest!
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platitudinalteen · 29 days
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A really random Batfamily HC I like to think about is Dick winning the Olympics a few years ago, never telling anyone, and all hell breaking loose when they find out.
Jason: You did not win gold in the Olympics.... Say sike, right now.
Dick: I'm not saying sike. I did win.
Tim: How? You're too famous, you'd be recognized!
Bruce: And more importantly, what about your secret identity?!
Dick: I wore a prosthetic nose, and entered under a fake name.
Stephanie: Do you have proof of that? And maybe a picture of that nose by any chance?
Dick: It was broadcast on television in over two hundred countries, I'm sure you could find it pretty easy.
Bruce: Back to the fake name-
Dick: It wasn't hard to make an alias, I just did what we do for undercover jobs.
Tim: You used my program without telling me!
Dick: I asked! You said I could.
Tim: I did? Ohhh...yeah, now that you mention it I think I vaguely remember you saying something about going to England and needing a new ID a few years ago.
Jason: You did all of that, just to...perform? Just...just because you wanted to?
Dick: ...Yeah, pretty much. I still have the medal sitting on a shelf in my apartment and a picture of me with some other competitors hanging on the wall.
Alfred: I for one, appreciated finally getting to see the Olympics from the front row. And in my own country, no less.
Bruce: What- what does that mean? Tell me you did not go with him to the Olympics...
Alfred: I was his accompaniment for the event. It was quite a good time.
Bruce: Dick...
Dick: What? He said he always wanted to go!
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evaningotham · 1 month
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i need the batfam fandom to give damian the same energy we give tom hollands peter parker in fics like
i want Field Trip to Wayne Enterprises fics
fics where damian gets phone calls from his famous siblings in class
fics where damian has to deal with the other kids watching thirst traps of his older siblings
fics where he’s getting bullies and one of them shows up in full vigilante attire to scare the middle school bully
just
damian al ghul wayne fanfic that centers around his school life and protective family
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