#borrower analogical

[marxism-lelouchism]

time to read this article by the author of ornamentalism surely this will be fine

erm. the end of the pandemic? in march 2022? right after the biggest spike in cases in the us in january 2022? ok.

nonblack asian americans stop “borrowing” from afro-pessimism and keep it out of our mouths challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

#🌱 #i had ornamentalism on my reading list so I am. very disappointed to say the least #like okay i guess she’s speaking to a general audience (and a white male interviewer. lol) #so maybe explaining the nuances of afro-pessimism is difficult in this setting #but to suggest that asian americans need to ‘borrow’ from it b/c analyses of racism don’t ‘go beyond’ a black/white binary #is one of the most annoying and disrespectful things about asian american studies imo #and to go on and posit that her version of asian nihilism/pessimism is just like. xenophobia and orientalism. #there is nothing new being added here that is not already captured in a pre-existing framework of racism and colonialism and imperialism 😐 #i’m not saying there’s no need for asian american interventions in these theories #but can we not ‘borrow’ from afro-pessimism and pretend we’re saying something new when we’re absolutely not #I don’t understand if you actually engage with afro-pessimism you’ll find that it does not. in fact. act like racism is only black and white #the ‘pessimism’ in ‘asian-pessimism’ she’s suggesting in no way even begins to approximate what it means in ‘afro-pessimism’ #nonblack poc when we read about the ruse of analogy: huh wonder who that’s for.

[convoloutedinjoke]

its understandable to talk about addiction like its a clean good/bad, self care/self harm thing but it really is just bodies making a cost/benefit analysis and landing on impaired and foreshortened survival over imminent death.

#like idk. its definitely Better for you to not be an addict but if you are an addict Better probably wasn't an option at the time you #started using and it probably isn't now either unless your circumstances have meaningfully shifted #which isn't to say oh everything's hopeless anyway why not drink yourself to death and have done with it and never try at all #cause its never too late to try! its always worthwhile to believe enough in the greener pasture just over the hill to force yourself #through the wasteland of reality #(am not talking about DE rn but their terms are useful and descriptive so I borrow) #but its very Simple to talk about addiction as a slow suicide #or make it analogous to something like cancer #when its just cloth mother/wire mother again #if your life is a barren cage and sobriety will keep you fed #but using will swaddle and warm you #if the only soft touch is your hand on a bottle #you're going to return to it repeatedly until the cage opens #would you keep eating in a life without warmth or comfort or pleasure? I wouldn't #the best way to help someone with an addiction is to treat them like a human being and understand that they don't want to die #not as much as they want to live

[namenvafan]

Swedish sky, 3am.

Quite happy how this turned out.

#photography #analog photography #film photography #bwphotography #black and white #black and white photography #my photos #nikon fm2 #nikon series E 50mm f1.8 #don't know the film some home rolled 200 ASA i borrowed from my dad lmao #namen photography

[soberpluto]

Explaining Dignities: Exaltation

The reason why I want to talk about them is because I've actually seen dignities play a big role in readings, as they do describe how well or adverse certain matters can play out for the querent...so here's a little analogy to understand them better!

Context: In Hellenistic (traditional) astrology, exalted planets are said to be like the favorite guests of a given sign (host), so the resources they have at their disposal are equal or even greater than the host's. In other words, imagine a queen or king being invited to a neighboring kingdom, they will be treated with the greatest of honors and commodities! In a practical aspect, this means that the qualities of that planet (the guest) will be able to shine at their maximum, making that particular area of life (house) easier or more fortunate for the owner of the birth chart.

*Mind that below I’m speaking metaphorically of “house” as the SIGN the planet is exalted, and not the astrological house as such (1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc.). *

Sun in Aries: Sun is a friend of Mars, as both rule fire signs and are leaders by nature. Mars is delighted to receive his royal friend, as he’s anxious to show him how noble, honorable, brave, and pioneer he is, and just how much he has achieved on his own. His job is to win wars for the kingdom after all! He’s thrilled to share his best tactics and borrow his friend his most treasured weaponry. The Sun feels comfortable because he has all he needs to command freely in this household, as his creativity, charisma, leadership and authenticity are praised by his friend. Together, they come up with solutions and strategies to conquer whatever they want! They are not afraid of competition or enemies, as both are equally ambitious and powerful in their own ways. Mars trusts the Sun, as he believes nobody is as visionary and talented enough to lead as he does. The Sun, in return, feels even more driven and powerful to accomplish his goals, as he has access to an incredible arsenal and his mission is thoroughly supported by his friend’s energy and fiery ability to execute his plans.  

Personality keywords: high self-esteem, passionate, entrepreneurial, courageous, independent, self-reliant, proactive, resourceful, inspiring, competent, combative, non-stoppable.

Moon in Taurus: The Moon feels really welcomed in one of Venus’ places, as both value beauty, security, domestic life and emotional closeness. They speak the same language, as both love to connect and celebrate relationships. They allure through tact and sweetness instead of brute force as their counterparts (the Sun and Mars) do. The Moon loves Taurus’ palace since she’s fascinated by beautiful art, exquisite food, overgrowing nature, dreamy romance, and abundant wealth… she’s just so inspired and fulfilled with this kind of luxury and magnificence! In here she has firm and solid grounds to step on, so her moods and emotional needs are stable as well. The Moon is able to relax and enjoy life effortlessly as she becomes more in tune with her physical senses and the things that bring her genuine pleasure. With Taurus’ gentle and grounded approach, the Moon lets her love flow naturally in all directions without the fear of being judged, ridiculed, or getting hurt. Like her friend, she is moved to become the glue between the people she’s fond of and attracts what she desires through her feminine and gentle nature. The Moon is so pampered and taken good care of that she’s able to channel her emotional depth and excellent organizational skills towards the growth and embellishment of her relationships and surroundings in a lasting way.  

Personality keywords: soothing, calming, relaxed, adorable, loyal, possessive, down-to-earth, practical, trustworthy, maternal, cozy, warm, gentle, nourishing, wealthy.

Mercury in Virgo: Mercury is always eager to pay a visit to Virgo´s realm, as he feels productive and useful here. As the guest, Mercury has all the mental and practical resources to give his thoughts structure and build all the great things he imagines into reality. Virgo gladly grants her friend access inside her huge library so he can explore his wide range of interests and gives him the key into her laboratory and workshop, places where he can experiment and practice all his learnings and become an expert on what he chooses to. She knows how anxious and critical he can get when he doesn’t rest or when things don’t go his way, so she also allows him to use her gym and provides him the best doctors and nutritionists to ease his stress. Virgo is pleased to see that Mercury quickly understands the importance of wellness and health, as she knows he cannot get his job done without proper self-care. Once relaxed and restored, he feels inspired to be of service, as he believes his quick wit and knowledge are put to good use. Mercury, thus, is motivated to grow, upgrade himself, achieve mastery and share his gifts with the world to make it a better place thanks to the wisdom, tools and care her friend borrows.

Personality traits: methodical, skilled, expert, wise, smart, discerning, perfectionist, high-standards, inventive, detail-oriented, practical, productive, industrious, quick wit, self-made.

Mars in Capricorn: In this sober and ancient residence, Mars is forced to cool down a bit and think before he acts. He understands that there is no one to conquer or outdo but himself. As guest in other households, Mars, as explosive, impatient and ambitious as he is, sometimes can get lost in the way, initiating projects and strategies that he later on drops because he gets bored quickly or doesn’t get the immediate results he wants; he also throws tantrums and whims when this happens, and his anger makes him do reckless and foolish things at times, something other hosts find puzzling or repulsive, where they either encage him or make him submissive, something that irritates and demotivates him even more. Capricorn, his patient and wise host, on the other hand, knows just how impulsive and enthusiastic his friend gets, so he kindly but firmly teaches him the art of discipline to achieve his goals, explaining him that violence is of no use here, but instead, self-control and resilience. After many trials and tests, Mars sees how his dedication pays off, and finds out that with constancy and practicality, his immense passion and drive can get him to unimaginable heights! Capricorn teaches him the required organizational and leadership skills to leave a renowned legacy well beyond his years. With his inborn initiative and fiery spirit channeled into the material realm, Mars is ready to raise an empire if he wanted to!    

Personality traits: ambitious, self-made, responsible, go-getter, director, powerful, resilient, pragmatic, dedicated, strategist, organized, efficient, problem-solver, relentless, strong.

Venus in Pisces: When Venus enters the sacred and watery temple of Pisces, she is mesmerized by the enthralling type of beauty she finds in here. His generous and candid host takes her for a walk throughout the entire temple and reveals to her the mysteries of the universe. He grants her access to his secret chamber, where he teaches her the art of magic and spiritual healing, and lectures her about ancient and mystical knowledge, long forgotten to humankind, but very present and real nonetheless … these are wonders she didn’t knew existed before! Pisces knows how to inspire her soul in the most delicate and virtuous ways by reminding her of her true nature, that of divine precedence. Venus cannot help to spill what’s in her heat, so she asks her friend the tools to create beautiful music, paintings, and poems so she can share them with the world. Magnanimous and wise as he is, Pisces grants all her wishes, but also shows her the secret suffering that people are burdened with, and how cold the hearts of men have become before this pain. Awed and deeply touched, Venus’ empathy and understanding grows, and she starts to see the veil between the material and spiritual realms dissolve before her. She’s never felt such calling before! She knows her mission is to spread beauty, compassion and kindness, and she does this with unconditional love and devotion.    

Personality keywords: romantic, good-natured, fair, balanced, connected, spiritual, creative, artistic, imaginative, warm, gentle, generous, understanding, devotional, forgiving, tolerant.  

Jupiter in Cancer: When Jupiter enters the sanctuary of Cancer, he becomes even more lucky and faithful in life. He radiates joy and candor! This is because Cancer teaches him that without love, good-will alone is not enough to make himself and others truly happy. Jupiter is aware of this, but he sometimes can lose himself in fantasies and utopic scenarios, where he wishes things could be different instead of trying to build them into reality. He dreams and preaches, but he can sacrifice practicality in the process. When Cancer has him over, she shows him how to extend the bridge between good intentions and actions, as she’s amazing at ordering her surroundings and making a heart-felt home wherever she goes because of her innate gift for nurturing. She also helps his friend to tap into his intuition and use his common sense to tame his emotions, which can be boundless at times. She does this by treating him with praise, understanding and acceptance, so he can practice them with himself and others. Jupiter finally feels a sense of belonging, as his good intentions are not abused, misunderstood, or minimized... they are used to make good things happen. Through accessing his more feminine side, Jupiter is compelled to give selflessly more of himself to others, and since he’s in a house that governs creation and karma, what goes around comes around multiplied. By practicing morality, ethics, charity and unconditional love without expecting nothing in return, as Cancer does, he finds out that he attracts the best of fortunes.

Personality traits: kind, compassionate, loving, caring, sympathetic, cheerful, charisma, altruistic, supported, rooted, lucky, fortunate, cozy, happy, benevolent, comprehensive, soft, guided, protective.

Saturn in Libra: When Saturn is in Libra, his sobriety and coldness start to wash off and trade for diplomacy, elegance and a profound pursuit of justice and fairness. In the friendly home of Libra, Saturn feels the need to connect, as her host reminds him the importance of friends, allies, and partnerships. After all, he cannot get ahead in life alone! Saturn’s industriousness and wisdom are channeled into building loyal and lasting relationships, where all parties get what they need equally. Libra knows his reputation well, and although she recognizes that his friend can be a bit stubborn, stern and gloomy at times, she loves to lighten him up and remind him of his noble character, and how it can create enduring and strong bonds. She gives him the mission of justice and impartiality, as she knows nobody is better suited than him for his seriousness and sense of responsibility. Saturn protects and respects Libra and feels empowered because she realigns him with balance and high ideals. He does not feel rejected or lonely anymore. Libra teaches him to relax a bit and to seek pleasure from the warmth of social interactions, and in consequence, Saturn learns to apply his maturity and discipline to persuade others into creating a kinder, fairer and wiser world.   

Personality traits: noble, just, dignified, committed, loyal, elegant, eloquent, responsible, diplomatic, mature, moral, impartial.

That's all! Thanks everyone for reading!😘

Book personal readings here: https://starintuitivehealing.etsy.com

Written by @soberpluto

#astrology #astrology observations #astrology community #astrology notes #birth chart #astrology signs #12 houses #astro community #astro observations #exalted planets #dignities #hellenistic astrology #ancient astrology #traditional astrology #sun in aries #moon in taurus #mercury in virgo #venus in pisces #mars in capricorn #jupiter in cancer #saturn in libra

[votederpycausemufins]

And here's my Evil X gemcyt design sheet thing. I already posted the Xisuma one, so check that one out too.

the whole gemcyt au got kicked off by @chrisrin so make sure to check out their stuff and all the stuff they reblogged if you haven't already.

Another version of the sheet above but with more notes on and for it is below the cut.

Alright! I had a lot of fun figuring Evil X out, probably bc of him being one of my blorbos.

Evil X has a lot of 'theories' surrounding what he is and I've seen some variations. He and X are siblings, they're X's clone, he's a glitched version of X, they're X's hels. etc etc. And so trying to figure out what to do for him.

While I already borrowed sweetest-honeybee's design in the second part of my Zed/WM gemcyt post, I didn't want to do like that and make him corrupted. I know the gemcyt stuff seems to play with corruption a little looser, but it still didn't feel right. So, I went researching and found a fun lil mix that seems to fit well.

First off, the closest thing you can get to a glitch in terms of gems is being off-color. I mean technically you glitch when you're cracked, but we're not doing that. Anyway, off-color gem Evil X, which is why there's the gem comparison. Next, the clone/hels part. I don't mention it on the sheet, but specifically, I think of this Evil X as a sort of gem experiment. No wait wait don't leave let me explain!

We saw that there were gem experiments of some type on the show. They were more fusion experiments using shards, and were experiments for the cluster (which technically don't work since they only emerged slightly before the cluster so there was no telling if they worked and if then the cluster would work). Also on the show, we're told that there's a resource problem on Homeworld which results in 'Era 2' gems like Peridot, who don't have all the abilities a normal gem would have. Also also in the show, when Steven and Lars are with the off colors on Homeworld, we see the kindergartens there. And while there are normal holes, there are also holes that overlap, as well as holes that look like there's been a chunk scooped out of them.

The analogy I could think of was like when you're making cookies. you roll out the dough, get a cookie cutter, and get all the cookies, but assuming you weren't using a square cutter, there's extra dough left between the cuts. Instead of just leaving it, usually you reroll it to cut out more cookies. Well, why can't Homeworld try the same?

Evil X is meant to be an experiment on if Homeworld can successfully do that. They scooped out extra rock from a kindergarten or two, compressed it into a new boulder, then used an injector on it. Eventually after a long while, out came Evil X. And that whole thing also leans into the clone thing because I imagine some of the scooped rock was from part of where Xisuma emerged.

Anyway, with all that, I originally thought about making Evil X look similar to Amethyst's pseudo buff reformation, but trying to draw that was a mess. I meant to go back and make him look a little more lopsided, but you'll have to just imagine that. Whoops. At the very least he has the funky stripes. I imagine that's probably from where the different rock pieces met or something, and since it wasn't as solid as regular rock, he was like that.

Coloring him was tough, but eventually I just copied Xisuma over, inverted his colors, and then shifted the hue to be more red. I considered making the green parts more black, but it didn't fit, so they're just more purpley to show that Xisuma connection or smthn.

Speaking of his gem, I show what I picture a normal Cuprite to look like. Meanwhile Evil X's is a bit misshapen, as well as that darker area that mimics the one reference I had. specifically that darker bit is chrysocolla, but he's still just cuprite.

Instead of a mask, he's just got a visor similar to what we've seen with Peridot and Doc and technically those zircons. And also instead of a mask he has those... blade things. Look, the best name i could find for them were blade gauntlets, but they look more like sword brass knuckles to me so I don't know. Also yes they are based on a weapon a digimon had, what of it?

And then, he is hella amethyst coded. Popped out of his rock thing in a chamber under the kindergarten (similar to the other experiments in the show) with no one around. He was an experiment and uses rock from different gems and is off color, so he doesn't know what he's for. Doesn't even know what diamond he should belong to, so that's why he's got a grey one on his chest. And there's a lot of little things and ideas for him that are inspired by Amethyst's characterization on the show, to the point I was planning a screenshot redraw even before I had his and Xisuma's designs even close to finalized.

I also have a fic I'm working on with him and Gemsuma, as well as that quick Jevin design plus a few teeny tiny references to other people's gem designs. If my adhd allows it, i should post that 1 shot fic tomorrow.

#gemcyt #evil xisuma #hermitcraft au #steven universe au #my art

[librarycards]

Hello! Sorry if you’ve posted about this somewhere already/if it’s redundant, but I thought your coinage of “transMad” was very cool and I’m wondering what that term means to you? I’m really happy to see other people talking about madness being intertwined w their gender/transness and looking forward to checking out your reading lists :))

thank you so much for asking about one of my favorite things to infodump about!! rather than rehash a bunch of stuff, if it's okay, I'm going to borrow a few quotes from past!me that i've published in different places // offer you some things of mine to read.

broadly, though, i use transMadness as a way to explore the identificatory, epistemological, methodological, and theoretical implications of an orientation (to use Sara Ahmed's term) toward bodymind noncompliance and self/selves-determination. this orientation refuses to delineate diagnostically between Maddened / transed experiences of the world/our many worlds, and instead takes this shared/overlapping ground as a jumping off point for solidarity and speculation - that is, something that allows us to imagine otherwise worlds / make them manifest through creativity and collaboration.

(Ha, and I claimed i wouldn't talk too much...famous autistic last words)

ANYWAY. here are some clips that might help explain more dimensions of transMadness. note that, in my dissertation-in-progress, i'm focusing on xeno/neogender and/as self-diagnostic cultures among queercrip and transMad internet users. i'm interested in the anti-psych liberatory potential of this digital community work, especially as it centers forms of knowledge and scholarship devalued within Academia Proper, especially because so much of it is made by and for disabled, Mad, queer, trans people, esp. youth. Onward to quotes!

On transMad epistemologies: citation/power/knowledge:

I’ll spend most of this piece looking not at what transMad is, but what it does. First and foremost, transMad cites. Even its name alludes to other portmanteaus: neuroqueer and queercrip being the best-known among them. Many people have offered many different (ever-“working”!) definitions of these terms; today, I offer co-coiner Nick Walker’s (2021) definition of neuroqueer: a verb and an adjective “encompass[ing] the queering of neurocognitive norms as well as gender norms” (p. 196). In terms of queercrip, I also return to its coiner, Carrie Sandahl (2003), who for whom the queercrip (as person and as method/movement) confuses the diagnostic gaze, bears sociopolitical witness, and performs glitchful[4], incongruous, confusing in(ter)ventions into possible community. At base, “queer” and “crip” appear as analogous, reclaimed slurs signifying marginalized transgression. When combined, they describe a loop, perhaps a Möbius strip: crip (ani)mates queer, queer tells-on crip. The specter of crip haunts queer—and even more explicitly, as we will see, trans—and the crip(ped) bodymind holds, moves, and fucks queerly. Who knows where “queer” stops and “crip” and “neuro” begin? Likewise, transMad, whose citational style leaves little room for diagnostic clarity amidst a pastiche of noncompliant text.

On transMad epistemologies: multiplicity (h/t @materialisnt):

They encourage us to remove others’ names from our bodies, to reign in unruly citations, to set “boundaries” which violate Mad, crip ethics of care (see Fletcher, 2019). In truth, any framing of individual authorship in which the body text is “mine” and the citations gesture “elsewhere” belie the inherent interdependence of all intellectual life, and particularly of transMad intellectual life. transMad plural scholar mix. alan moss (2022) argues in relation to the pathologization of multiple systems: “all people, indeed all that exists, is a system that itself is constantly enmeshed in several overlapping and interconnected systems.” In short, I am full of Is, and will continue as many more. Just as disability justice helps us understand all life as interdependent and deserving of access, a transMad approach sees our selves as numerous and fuzzy. We have permission to dispense with the need for tidy texts, with our interlocutors, edits, and iterations either obfuscated entirely or exclusively relegated to a bibliography. transMad citation may thus be considered akin to visible mending[6], creating flamboyantly messy, multiplicitous work that does not seek to pass as objective or discrete.

On the value of (crip) failure and/as "virtuality":

Don’t get me wrong: Zoom PhD work is a failing enterprise. That is to say, it is a queercrip, transMad enterprise, which is to say, it is a beautiful, beautiful project. Mitchell, Snyder, and Ware describe such “fortunate failures” in the context of “curricular cripistemologies.”5 Coined by Merri Lisa Johnson, the term “cripistemologies,” refers to “embodied ways of knowing in relation, knowing-with, knowing-alongside, knowing-across-difference, and unknowing,” ways which frequently exist outside the purview of mainstream academia.6 Curricular cripistemologies, then, refer to an intentional, queercrip deviation from normative pedagogical approaches which trades the corrective impulse of “special ed” and other rehabilitative programs, and offers instead a generative noncompliance.7 That is, rather than trying to identify, isolate, and ameliorate difference, curricular cripistemologies lean into difference as it is experienced by disabled students ourselves, querying how atmospheres of in/accessibility shape normative approaches to education and how the embrace of “failure,” not as a last-resort but as a first choice, poses potentially transformative possibilities.

On transMadness and fat liberation: (for @trans-axolotl's Psych Survivor Zine)

A transMad, fat approach to disorderly eating requires making connections with humility and understanding, and, as I discussed above, engaging in compassionate, critical interrogation of our own anti-fatness.

[...]

A transMad, fat, abolitionist politic is one that makes room. We imagine beyond the cage, even if the details of that imagining are not yet clear. Just as we have carved micro-sites of support within violent digital and in-person contexts, just as we have learned to think about our lifeworlds beyond the paradigm of “recovery or death,” we can also reconceptualize fatness not as the enemy, but as another form of bodymind noncompliance in alliance and/or entanglement with disorderly eating practices. For thin disorderly eaters, this requires us to fundamentally challenge the way we view food and embodiment, even while maintaining a Mad respect for alternative ways of approaching reality.

On xenogenders, virtuality, and self-determination:

It is this very “irrationality” –– the “unrealness,” the “you’ve-got-to-be-kiddinghood,” that is most frequently weaponized against xenogenders, as well as their newly-coined sets of xenopronouns. The perceived and actual virtuality of xenogenders is often placed against the notion of “actuality,” in this case, of “real” (or “practical”) genders and pronouns to be used in one’s “real life.” Disabled activists have rightly resisted the distinction between online and (presumed-offline) “real life,” given that this categorically excludes homebound bodyminds, as well as those without IRL social and support circles. That said, I believe the virtual –– as almost, not-quite, proximite, making-do –– is incredibly useful in thinking about xenoidentities as transMad tools –– particularly, as transMad tools of underground collaboration / co-liberation.

[...]

What if gender was a project we wanted to fail? That is, what if trans- was a process not of getting better, not of moving-toward a bodymind more sane, more straight, and more cisheteropatriarchially desirable, but rather a line of flight on a longer trail to illegibility? Indeed, what if we replaced pathology’s narrow “path” with a trail lighted by the language of our comrades, whose linguistic interventions make and break gender in ways heretofore unimaginable? Xenoidentities, both individually and as a trans-gressive M.O., are fundamental to a broader transMad project of crafted, collective illegibility; intersubjective citation (imagine what it feels like for someone to be the gender that you coined!); and collective care that refuses a politics of cure. Crucially both virtual and digital, xenoidentities are furthermore a manifestation of the power of trans, predominantly disabled digital counterpublics, who overturn the hierarchy which places the IRL-real above the digital-unreal, making unruly, Mad space in which (with apologies to Donna Haraway) a hundred xenoselves might bloom.

On Maddening queer "diagnosis":

In her indictment of all “Kwik-Fix Drugs,” Gray further indicates the practice of forced treatment as in and of itself as a project of violent normalization, regardless of specific target or reason. The intentional ambiguity between her narrative of Madness and her narrative of asexuality disrupt mounting demands for a healthy (sanitized, neoliberal, and consumable) queerness. A Mad ace approach identifies these demands as, indeed, comparable with cis heteronormative notions of sexual maturity and responsibility – the idea that participation in culturally-normative sexual practices is a prerequisite for health (Kim, 2011, 481) and thus, personal autonomy (Meerai, Abdillahi, and Poole 2016, 21). By fusing the “lack of sexual appetite” attributed to her medications for bipolar disorder with her asexuality, Gray destabilizes the binary between healthy-sexual-diversity and unhealthy-psychopathology. She is once again disrupting contemporary queer impulses to dissociate from ongoing histories of pathologization. Here, Mad and queer/asexual activism are as inseparable in text as they are in Gray. Gray and her comrades collectively refuse both sexuality-as-“rehabilitation” (See Kim 2011, 486) and asexual acceptance predicated upon normative “health” (Kim 2010, 158) – that is, they Madden asexuality. Twoey, in her own voice, remixes the sources of her own pathologization, staggering the supposedly-divine pronouncement of the DSM across pages and bookending its extracts with her own writing and art. In this undermining of the DSM’s epistemological polish, Gray disrupts the domination of written prose over poetry and visual art, while also critiquing the role of the DSM in commercialized health “care.” Her zine opens with the lines “sex sells and sex is sold / sex was being sold and i didn’t buy” (Gray 2018, n.p.). Gray indicates a pathology perceived not only in a refusal to practice sex, but also in a refusal to buy (into) it. After all, a refusal to buy into existing sexual paradigms is for her also a refusal to buy into a feminized reproductive mandate.

#sector-v #thank you genuinely! #ask #transmad #antipsychiatry #xenogender #epistemology #madness

[aka-indulgence]

Worth the Effort (You Are)

As I’ve said before, I’ve been in a Really Romantic mood lately, and I just wanna…. be with Sans….. ouhghug….. i lov him….. also I just so happen to have written and finished this around valentines day! It’s not a valentine’s fic but. It’s very soft… romantic fluff… hehehee ://>

Ao3 (because it is Longe): https://archiveofourown.org/works/45076489

———————

It was an exciting day.

You tie a white sash around your waist, and tie your hair back. Styling your hair?

The baby blue dress you were wearing was adorable. It was really flattering for your form, and you look like if a flower had spontaneously turned into a human.

A special day.

Sans had asked you on a date. One that he planned out, one that he said was like “what you’d expect from a romance movie. novel. mettaton’s dating ma- no maybe not that one.”

Any date with Sans was a special occasion. Time spent with your wonderful, loving bonefriend was something you cherished. But Sans was putting effort to change things up, to impress you with something new. Not that you needed it, but the fact that he was doing it for you makes your heart flutter.

He said he wouldn’t even teleport for it, that he’d have a special ride for you. You don’t know what he could mean by that… usually you’d assume him to be alluding to teleporting (the first time he’d say that line was when he showed you his teleportation powers. Your jaw had dropped on the floor that first time.), but he already said he wasn’t. You spend your time nervously waiting for him to arrive pondering what kind of ‘ride’ he’s bringing. Of course, Sans never showed interest in vehicles… why would he, if he already has the most efficient method of transfer already, what… ingrained in his very soul? Maybe he borrowed Papyrus’ car? Or… maybe he is planning to surprise you with a car…?

You doubt it. Sans is crafty as much as he is lazy. He strives for convenience.

You don’t doubt however, that Sans was going to be on time. He promised that he’s going to arrive today on time. So you relax on the window-side seat, not looking out of it, as if he was going to come faster if you did, no. You actually relax a bit, not paying attention to the time, and start to snooze a little… woken up by the knocks on your door. You practically bounce off the seat like a spring, opening the door with a smile on your face that somehow gets wider when you see the soft skull of the man you loved so much.

Even better, he was wearing a tux shirt, and long jeans. Sans, mixing up his wardrobe? No.

“Sans!” You waste no time to wrap your arms around him (well, to the best of your ability) in a warm hug.

Look at your handsome man!!!

“are you surprised? i promised,” Sans winks. Sure enough, you fish out your phone and it shows you the lock screen.

“On time, to the dot!” You announce excitedly.

Sans snickers a little. “if you were looking at a clock…”

… “Don’t tell me you knocked right when the second hand made it all click.”

“yes.”

You laugh delightedly at that, wishing you were looking at an analog clock to see that, it would’ve been amazing.

“Well, I say I’m impressed, but… you’ve always been good at being ‘on time’,” You say slyly, as if you were trying to undermine his feat. Sans can see in your smile that you weren’t doing it to be mean. “You’ve been pretty good at keeping your promises to come on time.”

He was on time, sure… but he’d like to cut it close. If this was another date, Sans would come to you just a few seconds before the time he promised he’d take you out somewhere- say, a restaurant, and appear before a very shaken receptionist and tell them about his reservation (that was about to be cancelled).

“you know me. i hate promises, i don’t make them lightly.” Sans makes a solemn expression. “but i always make promises to you. you make it easy for me to keep them.”

… Damn this man, your heart was feeling all sorts of mushy and soft for him before the date’s even gotten off the ground properly.

Sans can’t blame you for having to immediately kiss him (right now!!). In fact, the skeleton seems quite happy to have you furiously kissing him on the teeth.

“You look!! So good!” You say as soon as you’re done attacking him, picking at his shirt. “tux shirt. Simple, but dapper.”

You’re only half-joking.

“ah… you as well,” Sans’ smile turns warmer, seeing your dress.

Of course Sans would appreciate your clothes, but you still feel giddy anyway, giving him a little twirl. “You like it?”

“i love it.” Sans tells you emphatically. “it’s cute… an’ pretty. you trying to match my magic?”

“Absolutely.” You answer confidently, pecking him one more time on the cheekbone, which he rubs affectionately, chuckling.

“Well!” You clap your hands, challenge in your tone. “Where’s this ride you’ve been promising me? It better live up to the hype!”

Sans chuckles at your enthusiasm, then steps back away from the door and makes a grand waving motion at the thing just on the road in front of your home.

“our ride, my lady.” He bows dramatically.

You’re… actually too stunned to speak. The blue ride Sans was showing you was… a tricycle. An honest to god tricycle.

“H… h,” you wheeze gently, “you didn’t,” you breathe as you approach the (relatively) little thing.

“i did.”

When you look it over, you could see that it was modified. It was larger than a little kiddy tricycle, but not as big as a proper bicycle. The seat was so that it could fit two people comfortably (and you mean comfortably. Sans wasn’t… a small man). Other than that it looked like a regular tricycle.

When you turn to look at Sans, he looks so proud.

“What a–” cute “--silly use of your engineering degree. I love it.”

“no core, a bore,” Sans shrugs, as if that little detail in his credentials was some everyday thing that many monsters had. “well… not really. but it’s been a while since i really… used that degree for anything. might as well for my favorite human, huh?”

You don’t doubt that your eyes were sparkling at him when he says that. You spend a minute or so just admiring the tricycle.

“Did you build it from scratch or…?”

“nah. that’d be tire-ing.” Sans sighs, “I’d rather tri something else.”

“L-”

“like we should get a move on before it gets too late. we better get this show on the road before we spend an entire day lazing around your house.”

“... Who are you and what did you do to Sans?”

“heheheh,”

As much as you’d like to tease him about it, he’s right. Sans prepared… “Stuff” for you, and you’d like to appreciate it.

So you do.

“Let’s go then, Mr. chauffeur, take me to our destination!” You declare confidently, glance at the tricycle, then less confidently “.... can you tell me how to sit in this?”

—————

You don’t think you’ve ever felt so nervous riding a tricycle before.

You’re sat behind Sans, and though you’re about the same height as him, his broad shoulders made it so it was a bit hard to look over them. Your hands couldn’t circle him properly, so you had your hands scrunching up his shirt. It didn’t take too long before you got used to it though, and your brain didn’t keep thinking that you’d fall out of the generous seat.

You would think that riding a tricycle around the city, it would take a while to get anywhere, but surprisingly, Sans kept up good speed. He even overtakes a couple of cars while he pedaled, and even from behind him you could see the shit-eating grin growing on his face whenever someone in the cars makes a double take at the sight. You’d covered your mouth then, a move that made Sans even more proud.

You wondered how he did it. And how Sans didn’t seem to struggle at all. Leg day, maybe?

The idea of Sans doing any sort of exercise seriously, perhaps even specifically so he could use the tricycle was a hilarious mental image.

By the time you’ve arrived, you barely recognize your surroundings. You’re at a nice big park… somewhere? And after Sans parks the trike,

(“don’t worry, no one’s going to steal a tricycle. that’s a bit trite don’t you think?” “I mean. If you say no one’s going to nab it…”)

(Sans somehow fits the tricycle into the regular bicycle parking rack.)

He brings you up to a scenic hill that looks like it came out straight out of a movie. Overlooking the rest of the park, with a big shady tree on it.

It’s a good thing you came earlier, because today was the perfect weather to be out, and no one had taken the prime space yet. The sun’s getting high on the sky, but you won’t be bothered under the shade.

He leads you there, then takes his hand away. “wait here. be right back in a jiff,” Sans mentions, and he walks behind the tree. He takes more than a jiff, a couple of seconds, and when he reemerges from the other side you stifle a snort.

He looks like a whirlwind, a plaid red and white blanket thrown over his skull, and a picnic basket swinging from one hand…

A picnic!!

Old memories resurface, of always wanting to do a traditional picnic that you saw often while watching shows and movies as a kid. With a blanket and matching picnic basket… tea cup set… lovely company. You never got to and you didn’t think you’d have the motivation, but here you were, with Sans providing it for you.

“A picturesque picnic?” You thought out loud, “That’s so sweet!”

“hey you haven’t even seen what’s inside the basket.” Sans places it down, and spreads the blanket over the grass. “and i mean… paps helped me pick out the stuff, so i think he should get some of the credit.”

“Credit for what?”

“getting good grades on ‘dating’,”

“Am I dating the both of you???”

“no it’s an individual project… but doesn’t hurt to have a brother who reads all about dating.”

The basket Sans brought wasn’t small by all accounts, but Sans fitted more into it than you thought it could. You take them out and spread them over the blanket. You squeed in delight, having some of your favorite light dishes around you, along with the picnic staples: sandwiches, fruits, and of course one (1) teapot.

As you look around though, you have to ask… “Are you sure you like this stuff, Sans?”

Sans pauses, hand stuck in the basket. “huh? of course i do. i wouldn’t bring it if i didn’t. besides,” He materializes a hotdog from the basket, “i came prepared with my usual.”

It was a sight, to have him bring out the ketchup bottle out and sblort, there goes the ketchup on the sausage, against the backdrop of a very proper looking picnic.

Well… almost. Wasn’t like your favorites didn’t include something ‘unhealthy and greasy’...

“had to sneak this in. i’d already promised paps that i was gonna plan out a romantic picnic and he left me to it for the most part… but he wouldn’t have approved of this particular meal choice.”

“No, he wouldn’t.” You agreed, eyeing his hotdog with a little more drool than you’d care to admit. “Do you have… more…?”

“wouldn’t be a thoughtful boyfriend if i didn’t think about that now, would i?” Sans’ sockets gleam as he procures another delicious processed meat product.

You spend your picnic appreciating all the stuff Sans brought (doing your best not to shove it all down your face), pleasantly surprised that Sans made most of it by hand.

“also, papyrus was there. … i promise, i made the main stuff, even if paps tried to stage a coup against me,”

“Hahaha!”

It was very thoughtful, and it made you feel very special that this skeleton with a lazybones reputation kept proving to you day by day that you were someone worth a lot of effort, even if you didn’t need something grand.

Eventually the topic of his tricycle came up again.

“i’ve had that tricycle for a while, actually. ever since we surfaced,”

“No way, really?” you looked back towards the bike parking area, though you couldn’t actually see the vehicle in question. “I was convinced you bought and built that tricycle for this date.”

You’re afraid you might’ve sounded disappointed, because Sans waves his hands frantically. “no no, that was for you. it wasn’t all… professionally approved for actual distance travel, before. i did that for this,” he gestures at the picnic. “no… it used to be a very normal tricycle. and no, not the one for adults. lil kiddy trike.”

You think about the tricycle now, upsized and fit for two people. You try to imagine what it might’ve looked like back then, while Sans stayed the same… on a kiddy tricycle…

Your mouth turns into a squiggly line. “B… but why? I’ve… I’ve never even seen you on something remotely like a bike,”

“i can show you,” Sans fishes his phone out of his pocket, smile going up to his sockets. “you wanna know how big ‘ol me fit on it, right?”

“Yes!” you answer emphatically as Sans scrolls through his gallery. It takes him a while before his sockets widen in an a-ha! expression.

“here it is… sweet surfacing memories,” Sans says, turning the screen to you as he looks up wistfully to the sky.

Your face is flat as you stare at the image on the phone, hands unconsciously coming up to it, taking it away from Sans. You just had to take a closer look.

It was… a glorious picture. The image quality was surprisingly crisp and sharp where it mattered, considering the motion blur you could see at the edges of it. There, was an image of Sans, his shit-eating grin wide on his face as he winks for the camera, and though it was cut off you could see how tiny the tricycle looked like under him, And behind, there was Papyrus, in his sports car, all shiny and new with the hood down and Papyrus was… god, his eyes were popping out of his skull, mouth opened in frozen agony, fists furious at the wheel. You honestly think you could hear the “SAAAAANS!!!” he must undoubtedly be screeching in the image.

Sans laughs along with you when you burst, throwing your head back, one hand to your chest- he was trying to kill you!- half-mindedly handing him back his phone.

Again, “B… but why!?” You ask even more desperately than before.

“screwing with my younger brother, obviously.” He rolls his eyelights in teasing ‘duh’. “pap always wanted to have a sports car like that, you already knew he used to have a racecar bed back in the underground. early after we surfaced, pap got his dream come true in that car and wanted to take a test… victory ride around the city highways. i gave him some time to indulge on it himself but.. i couldn’t resist to ruin it… maybe just a little,”

There was the glint in his sockets, in the way his grin was lifted, the expression that Sans had when he just found a brand new pun or when he was waiting for you to realize what he just tricked you into. Even though you’ve fallen for something many a time when he did it, he always looked adorable when he made that face- happy.

“couldn’t let my brother have his joy ride on his own could i? so i found my own- shortcutted all around the city for bicycle stores… toy stores… for the perfect tricycle. i needed something that was practical but still funny enough, something that’d look small for me, and i found it. as soon as i did i chased him, and once i found him, i overtook him.”

His sockets crinkled as he looks to the side, no doubt looking at the memory in his mind’s eye. “he was so pissed. you know my brother, so cool, he was stamping his leg and flailing his hands while the car kept cruisin’ on as if he was still driving it. i rode off into the sunset before he did, and when i got home he’d stopped at undyne’s house, sitting on the porch, looking like a storm. undyne was trying to comfort him but… i think i even got her, because she broke out into a laugh when she saw my trike.”

He sighs happily. “told her i was here to pick up my bro. paps left in a huff and said I CAN TAKE MYSELF HOME ALONE!!”

You laugh- surprised and not at the same time, and you don’t bother trying to keep it ‘polite’. You weren’t expecting the frighteningly good impression of his brother form Sans, and the story itself was hilarious- something you absolutely expected from Sans.

“You’re an asshole!” You say, pointing an accusatory finger at him. Sans doesn’t take offense.

“sure was. pap tried real hard to stay mad at first, for ruining his moment… but i apologized to him while sitting on my trike. i don’t think he could resist seeing something like that. i broke him when i honked the horn.”

“There was a horn?!” You repeat, disbelieving.

“yeah.

“Where’d it go?

“oh, i took it off, for the… for the occasion.” Sans rubs the back of his neck. “didn’t feel like it’d fit..?”

Hm… probably right.

But, “You should put it back on after!” you encourage, “I wanna ride around in it with you more! And I think the faces people make when you honk at them are going to be funnier after they get over their shock.”

Sans perks up at that, like he wasn’t expecting it. “r… really?” then, hesitantly, “you… you actually like that thing?”

“Of course I do, you made it for us!” You announce cheerfully. “And I really want to ride around the city with you… it was actually pretty relaxing.”

Of course you liked being with Sans anywhere, and his teleportation was great you could go from one place to another in an instant without having to worry if you’d ever be late, but… you also liked taking your time to just be around him, and since Sans rarely ever took rides… it was pretty romantic to be riding behind him while he cycled around.

You add that. “And I like spending time with you,”

His grin was minimal now, something that’d worry you… if his cheeks hadn’t started dusting blue, spreading across his face.

“i…. same,” He eventually smiles again, holding his cheek tenderly. “i love you.”

“I love you too.” You answered so fast it was almost automatic.

Sans sits there in silent for a moment, the sound leaves rustling quietly in the wind, along with the ambient noise of the park. Then, he seems to get an idea.

“you know what else you love though...”

Oh no. That grin wasn’t a good sign.

(It was a Funny sign.)

“you love food so much you’ve been stealing it from your own datemate.” He puts his hand on his sternum and makes a melodramatic face. “i’m hurt.”

“What..?”

When you turn to look, all the leftovers have somehow been piled onto your plate in the blink of an eye. You’re surprised it doesn’t topple.

“Wh, how did that all get here?!”

“i get eating condiments with excitement, i really do, you know me, but… that whipped cream was for sharing, sweet-toots.”

“Huh???” Was your reaction, until you saw the whipped cream beside you. “I was!! Putting it on the cake earlier!!”

“ravenous.” Sans is ignoring your desperate pleas! “you can still see the remnants of the crime…” He’s tapping on the side of his teeth. Sure enough, you had whipped cream there.

“And you have the crime of breaking the laws of physics!” You shoot back, ‘walking’ towards him on your knees, “time to go to jail, bone man!”

“oh no, are you going to whip me- augh!!” Was Sans’ anguished cry (mixed in with a surprised laugh) when you smack him softly on the cheek, trying to jab him anywhere you can. You were (not actually) annoyed and you were trying to make your case clear! Sans answers back with jabs on his own, and though he had thick bones and bigger hands, he was… playing as nice as one Sans would allow. Then, he found his way to his tickle spots.

“Sans, no!”

You end up playfully stuck to each other, trying to shove and tickle and push and pull at each other, to get the upper hand.

“Get your hands-! Not there!”

“if you surrender first, food stealer,”

“For the last time I did not steal your food!!”

“whipped cream sprayer,”

“I didn’t-! Argh!!”

You give Sans a hard shove. And this time he doesn’t get up- you see him attempt, of course, but he starts tilting back over the hill, you can see his expression turn from playful to huh?? And you try to catch him, one hand going over to protect his skull and the other around his waist (sort of), but he’s tilted too far… and his hands had automatically caught you…

Well. You end up rolling down the hill together, a blur of blue and black, picnic left alone on top. You squeaked and Sans was huffing as you both spinned, eventually slowing down to a halt, with you on top of Sans.

You were in a tangle of limbs. Apparently both of you had the same idea- keep the other one safe. Although you can’t imagine your tiny hands could be of much help to Sans, who’s thick arms did wonderful as a defensive pillow around you.

You stare at each other in stunned-silence for a little while. Maybe a bit longer.

You only seemed to snap out of it when you saw a blade of grass on Sans’ cheek and tried to thumb it away- only to realize your hand was stuck under Sans skull. And when you tried to use the other one, it was also stuck under Sans’ back.

Your face scrunched up and so did Sans. And then you both burst out in laughter, ignoring your trapped hands.

“r…. ribcaged!!” Sans was wheezing, the power of his laughter making you shake a little on top of him, while your own laughing certainly made you look like you were vibrating.

“I was trying to keep your skull safe and this is the thanks I get?” You’d jab him in the sternum if you could, but alas, your hands were indeed, ribcaged.

Sans mirrors you, putting one hand on your head, lifting his back a little so you could free your hands (before they start falling asleep). You fold them on top of him, smiling while he’s still giggling, his sockets shut.

“oh my god,” Sans says, like he’s had a revelation, rubbing one phalange under his socket. “are we… are we in a romcom? or… straight up romantic movie?”

He was hehehehing all the way, and you really didn’t want him to stop.

“What if we are?” You shrug. “We’ve got real attractive leaads…”

“heheheh… yeah we do,”

Sans draws his hands back around you while you giggle, and when his hand settles over your head, you struggle a little to stop yourself from smiling when he leans in. You meet his teeth with your lips, and it was a joy to feel that he was having trouble too, feeling his expression on his teeth.

You’re so happy. You’re so happy you get to do silly, adorable couple stuff with someone that you really cared about.

… Somewhere deep in your mind, you think “We’re lucky Alphys and Undyne aren’t around to see this… they’d be taking pictures like paparazzi, and you’re sure they’d squee about it with each other.”

—————

You spent some time canoodling with Sans a bit longer, until you both abruptly remembered your picnic stuff when a dog had come up, sniffing around. Most of it have been eaten of course, so nothing got sacrificed… but you supposed it was time for you retire home. It was afternoon now and families have started getting to the park, which was less peaceful. Nice, but not quiet.

“i mean it would be nice to see the sunset… but i don’t think you’d have much fun overheating under the sun.” Sans said, on the matter while he stacked the utensils back into the basket. (He had insisted he do the stacking. By the way he put emphasis on it, you feel like it’s either a pun, or a story he hadn’t told you about.)

When you came back to the parked tricycle, he looked like he’s still feeling shy about it and had half a mind to just teleport you home, but you remind him how much you want to ride around with him, and he concedes.

“You should take me sunset riding. Next time maybe?” You talked over him, hair waving in the wind. He had gone up a flyover and you were admiring the view, the tall buildings all around you. Maybe he didn’t think you could see it, but you could see the blue spreading on his face again. It took him a while before he answered you with “yes. definitely, next time…”

It felt like the ride home was all too fast, and you had the same feeling in your stomach as you do when you were a kid, waking up right before your car arrives home. It doesn’t keep you down though, as you practically skip your way towards home, with Sans holding onto your arm like a proper gentleman.

You take off your shoes at the door and untie your sash, standing around the entry way. “Aw Sans, that was great! Food’s good, cool ride,” Sans ducks his skull a bit, glancing away, “even better skeleton. It…. it was a special date. Thanks Sans,”

You give him a peck on the cheek, and you love seeing the little gesture has him being faintly blue, though he has a confident smile and his eyelights were glowing brightly.

“it’s… don’t mention it. i told you i gotta romantic bone in me…”

“I knew that!” You giggled, reminding him that “It’s Papyrus that didn’t think you had a romantic bone!”

You shake your head. “But look at you now… you put together a bunch of meals for us, bought matching basket and blanket, got here on time, and you modified an entire tricycle that you only planned to use as a joke.”

Your heart feels full as you say, “You always know how to make me feel special.”

His grin drops again, averting his gaze. This scene… it makes you smile, how even after a year of dating this goober, it still feels as if you two were two kids who’s crushing on each other. He takes your hands in his, and when his eyelights turn to look back at you, you could see they were in the shape of hearts.

“you’re always worth the effort, starlight.”

Ah… that lovely nickname.

He brings your hands to his teeth in a gentleman kiss. You’re squeeing and shaking in place, you don’t want to let go of Sans’ hands right now.

“Oh, I can’t wait to be able to have revenge on you, grr… who would’ve guessed the whoopie cushion would be so good at romance?”

Sans taps his chin, looking around your house as if he were judging it. “hm…. i can think of a few ways you could repay me.” Sans says, after much pondering. “ya know my legs are real tired from all that pedaling… i don’t think i have enough strength to go home right now…”

You smile at him. You’re too happy to try to challenge his reasoning- even to jokingly ask him “but you can teleport?”

As if he was expecting you to turn him away however, Sans has chosen to close the distance and dramatically lay (part) of his weight on you.

“Wh- hey! Get off!! Sans you can stay, but I’m not going to have a lot of fun if you end up crushing me on my front door!”

“.....” Sans doesn’t answer. Instead,

“zzzzzz……”

“Oh my god!”

You get into ‘Playful Fight Round Two’, but it doesn’t last as long, and there were no scenic romantic hills to roll over, as you settled into Sans’ arms, walking over to the very comfy sofa that could very well rival his old one back at his house.

“this is the best repayment ever, and you’re the best girlfriend ever,” Sans says. You both settle into a couch cuddle, with Sans as the big spoon, TV turned on as background noise. “happy anniversary, starlight.”

He kisses your cheek. The edges of your lips quirk up. Though they were getting tired from how much you smiled today, you don’t have it in you to care.

“Happy anniversary, Sans.”

#aka writing #fluff #i. love him. so mUCH #AUGHUUHH #sans x reader #ut!sans x reader

[lnsfawwi]

why marvel hates stucky? because Captain America is (should be) a man

let's be real. Marvel isn't erasing stucky, they are merely erasing Bucky from Steve's storyline, not the other way around, they even went so far as to canonly admitting that Steve's Bucky's homecoming. why can they tolerate a possibly queer Bucky but not Steve? because to them, Steve Rogers is Captain America and Captain America is this white, straight, masculine national hero who embodies the traditional male fantasy. Bucky is just a sidekick that no one gives a fuck about while Sam is never gonna be the real Cap. bucky is the 'other' and by nature he is not important, he is put in a inferior position and his femininity (being queer) is slightly more acceptable than steve's.

what's funny is that, only Bucky saw Steve Rogers when the whole damn world sees Captain America. Bucky Barnes is the one that makes Steve Steve, as long as Bucky exists Steve can't be the hypermasculine icon Marvel wants him to be. why? bc it's in the fucking narrative. in this sense, Bucky Barnes is the only thing that stands in between Steve and the erroneous reading and presentation of Steve's character. So, he has to be removed.

and I'll expand that on the stomper or whatever knockoff ironman suit they put him in in WhatIf

there's a wonderful meta about why Steve is a feminine character. his masculinity isn't born but made and he was objectified and ridiculed for it. that artificial masculinity gave him the feminine experience and that's what makes him fascinating as an ostensibly hypermasculine hero. this dichotomy between Steve and Captain America created by that body is one of many reasons why Steve ≠ Captain America. by putting him in that suit, they are emulating masculinity with a giant piece of metal and tech that has phallic analogies written all over.

and that makes Steve, what? a knockoff tony stark? bc tony at least designed the thing. Steve is just a dude borrowing it. there's no depth and certainly no positive gendered reading came out of it. he becomes this simplistic male hero fantasy (like ironman). then, Marvel swapped Steve and Bucky's storylines but lost all the nuances because bucky is also heavily female-coded, especially his suffering as the winter soldier. the cartoon has none of that.

marvel is entirely ignorant as to why the Cap trilogy the best Marvel movies and steve&bucky the best characters, and they wonder now why steggy isn't well received. erasing Bucky from Steve's plot just makes the character boring. stucky isn't popular (entirely) bc they were played by cute white guys. it's bc their relationship adds depth, GENDERED DEPTH, to them and that's relatable to all the women that made the fandom so goddanm influential. Steve Rogers isn't your white male fantasy no matter how hard you try.

#bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #stevebucky #what if #marvel #marvel mcu #what if...? #anti steggy #I'm not even touching the blatant homophobia at play here #because masculinity and homophobia always go hand in hand #I hate that they put steve in that travesty metal suit #they erased everything that made steve appealing to female audiences #and called it feminism? #what the actual fuck #anti MCU #stucky is in the narrative

[a-chaotically-small-lunta]

Okay so we all probably have heard or read the idea of borrowers playing video games right? Where maybe the bean fell asleep while the game was running and the curious borrower wandered up and saved their game or messed something up in it or even just played it for a bit. Imagine waking up sitting in your gaming chair and the screen in front of you flickers as if someone is playing. You look on your lap and your see this tiny person playing a game, and they are entranced by it. They are so wrapped up in the game that they don’t notice that you’ve woken up. Maybe you watch them a bit to see how well they are doing, maybe when it seems they are having trouble with a puzzle, enemy, or something; you pipe up on how they could defeat it. This probably would spook them and they’d freeze looking back at you, maybe apologizing about playing your game without your permission and such. Perhaps you convince them that it’s fine and, in fact, they can keep playing the game. You both just chill and you watch as they play. Maybe a bond is formed and you two switch whose actually playing the game and whose watching. Now there’s a little gaming buddy who might be a little bit of a backseat gamer, once you two are comfortable with each other.

Or imagine this. You wake up one night to hear sounds on your tv, your old console was plugged in but you swear you turned it off. You go towards your TV and see it’s playing a game, and that there’s two people playing it. You don’t see anyone until you squint towards the floor where the controllers are plugged in. They’re on the floor but something else is on them. There’s a group of borrowers playing the game. Maybe there’s four in total with two on each controller and they’re all playing together. You hear one team shouting at the other that they’re cheating, while the other shushes them and says they aren’t and that team 1 is just bad at the game. Watching them reminds you of playing with friends but they have it a bit more challenging. On one controller, one borrower is moving the analog stick and the other is pressing the buttons. They’re awkwardly sitting on and by the controller in order to do so. Either way, it’s an entertaining thing to watch. Maybe eventually you join them and grab a controller, challenging them to a game. Perhaps since they might be a bit scared you say that if they can beat you in a game that they can keep playing whenever they want and if you win, well they’ll see. The borrowers accept the challenge and team up against you, and obviously you’re gonna either lose or purposely lose, cause why wouldn’t you want little gaming buddies? Or maybe you never reveal yourself but occasionally get new games for them to try and you simply watch from the shadows as they play, until one day they spot you or something and you have to explain that they’re fine and you aren’t mad at them for playing the games. In fact it’s entertaining and you’d be happy to join them or just let them play more.

Either way tinies playing games just seems nice

#gt #g/t #gianttiny #giant tiny #giant/tiny #gt ideas #g/t ideas #g/t concept #listen I was playing Minecraft and thought it’d be cool to see a borrower build something in my world #not knowing I’ll probably find it and see it and know I didn’t build it #but I’d be fine with it I’m happy to share a Minecraft world with a borrower

[underratedmurder]

Richie Jerimovich x Reader ~ Tastes Like Stew

__________________

Reader burns their hands and Richie offers to help :)

Stuff in this: Soft Richie, reader and Richie argue… a lot, reader is a little bit rude, Richie has a soft spot for reader but hasn’t come to terms with it yet, his love language is caring for others, he’s mean when he cares

Richie is my favorite character on The Bear rn, and I couldn't resist writing a short little something about him.

Just read this in his voice and it's great trust !!!

cw: mentions of death, getting first degree burns (ouch), very subtle sexual themes, that's it

And if anyone is interested in reading more about this dynamic or has a request I am totally open to that!

Note: yeah I know the title is so creative and beautiful and romantic thank you for noticing

Also sorry I called your eyes ‘freakishly blue’ Carmen, it’s just how I honestly feel

Okay just imagine the washcloth is tucked into his apron

__________________

Hot steam coated your forehead, as droplets of sweat dribbled down your nose. The heat and moisture from the giant pot of stew below you was starting to cook you more than the fire, and rolling up your sleeves didn’t seem to be enough to alleviate the sweltering conditions. 

The Beef was bustling, more than it had been in weeks since Carmy took over. Customers filed in like sardines in a can, and the kitchen could hardly pump out sandwiches and fries fast enough. 

You had been spending overtime at the restaurant since Mikey’s passing, and for Christ's sake, even your analogies were becoming food related. 

The stained walls of that sweat box called a kitchen were starting to seep into your dreams. All you could see was the steam and the heat of the stove top, and the unforgettably annoying image of Richie's face. The bustle of the kitchen during lunch rocked your body like an earthquake, and yet you remained standing, somehow accustomed to the unsteadiness of it all. 

Carmy seemed to have plans to fix the place up, though you weren’t exactly sure things would workout. But you hoped, you really, really hoped. 

You at least wanted a proper AC. A thick stream of sweat nearly rolled off your nose and into the stew, before you caught it with your sleeve.

Alright, that’s it.

You sighed and snatched the nearest washcloth you could find, which happened to be the one attached to Richie’s hip. 

You almost didn’t care to mind what you were doing, until you saw him whip around in shock.

You quickly wiped the sweat from your face and on your neck, then threw the cloth over your shoulder.

Richie, still exasperated, stared you down like you were crazy.

“Alright, give it back,” he stood there, hands on his hips as his eyes widened, like they did right before he was gonna start an argument.

“It’s literally hot as balls in here and I’m sweating my ass off, let me use the damn thing,” you turned away, not wanting to prolong the encounter, for you had a stew that needed attending to.

“Get your own damn washcloth okay, you sweaty freak, huh? You ever heard of deodorant?” He said it like he was a genius, carefully annunciating the “t”. What a dick.

“Uh yeah, I have Richie. It’s just that the sweat is pooling on my face and about to fall directly into the food. So, if you please, let me borrow the fucking washcloth, and just get another one” You clenched your fists by the sides of your face, pulling them down to exemplify not only the sweat, but also your growing anger. 

“That’s my favorite one,” he said. You knew it was a petty lie.

“Excuse me?”

“That’s my favorite one, you can't just-,”

“Oh for fucks sake-

“It’s softer! And more durab-""Just get another washcloth Richie!”

Your voices were overlapping now, his neverending excuses piling on top of your unheard reasoning. His arms were waving all around like the fins of a windmill, almost hitting Tina twice. You swore the man didn’t know his own size. Standing above you, you tilted your head up to scowl at his face, washcloth still over your shoulder and unintelligible yelling spewing out of both of your mouths. It was chaos, verbal chaos that matched the actions around you, the scrambled nature of your mind. In the midst of all that chaos, you forgot all about the stew.

It was boiling over, hot and molten like lava it oozed onto the stove, getting everywhere.

“Shit shit shit. Fuck!” You scrambled over, and reached to move the giant pot from the heat.

“Here, let me help with that,” Richie offered loudly.

“No! I got it-” your hands touched the handles, and boom. Instant regret.

The pot was so hot you were burned instantly.

“Fuck!” You quivered and shook your hands outwards as fast as you could, before cradling them by your chest. 

“Shit, are you okay? Let me see, let me see-” Richie quickly grabbed an oven mitt and moved the pot himself before reaching to grab your hands.

You shot back, “No Richie! I fucking got it, just fucking, back off!” The searing pain of the burns had relinquished any kind of filter you had, all your words were pure anguish. 

“Come on, just let me see-” he took a step closer.

“No!”

“Whoa guys, what’s goin on?” Carmy was there in a second, hands on his hips and an equally chaotic look in his eyes that you could feel in your soul. 

“Nothing, chef, I’m fine,”

“Uh, no, they are not fine. They just burned their hands on a hundred degree pot!” Richie stuck his bottom lip in his mouth, face contorted like a hysterical bird. 

“And I have it handled, Richie!” You scowled at him again, part of you didn’t want to be helped, but really, you just didn’t want to place any extra stress on Carm. The guy looked like he was falling apart as is. 

“I severely fuckin’ doubt that!” he inched closer, waving his arms again.

“Oh you severely fucking doubt it? Richie?” you met him just inches away, chest facing his with your hands still cradled close.

You started yelling over each other again, this time stew wasn’t the only thing that was breaking it up.

“Alright! Alright! Guys, please! Chef,” He looked at you,

“Go clean yourself up, there's a first aid kit in my office,” You nodded and headed out of the kitchen immediately, without seeing Richie actually reach out for you before you were gone.

“Cousin,” Carmy announced loudly. Even a foot in front of him, Richie couldn’t seem to listen.

His face was twisted with frustration.

“Go clean up that stew, and get another fucking washcloth, alright?”

Richie opened his mouth to speak, his head rolling back in that way it did when he was about to completely disagree with someone.

“Alright?” Carmy’s freakishly blue eyes were as wide and as commanding as ever.

Richie glanced over again at the door to Carmy’s office, you were out of sight. He sighed, and nodded.

“Yes, chef,” 

Hunched over on Carmy’s swivel chair, you tended to your wounds. Or at least, you tried. Rubbing neosporin all over the swollen flaming mess on your hands didn’t seem to do anything to ease the pain. Looking at all the tools in the first aid kit, you couldn’t help but notice you had no clue what you were doing.

Your fingers twitched when you tried to soothe them, bandages stuck to your palms like tape, and worst of all, you hadn’t even stopped sweating. 

You winced and quietly cursed yourself after accidentally pinching a sensitive spot, unrolling the bandage from your palm swiftly and without much care.

Your leg began to bounce up and down with anxiety and pain, gritting your teeth, all you could do was scold yourself.

Idiot, idiot, you fucking idiot. How the fuck could you let this happen, you’re such a fucking id-

Before you could finish the provocative thought, Richie was strolling his way through the door, a large bowl and water bottle at hand. 

You looked up, a redness in your eyes that hinted at tears but would never dare to actually let anything out, the salt would sting like a bitch on the burnt skin. 

Your expression quickly twisted into anger and annoyment.

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m here to help,” he announced and walked closer.

“I don’t remember asking,” you mumbled, watching as he grabbed a stool from the corner.

“Yeah, cause you never fuckin’ ask me for anything. Could’ve asked for my washcloth, maybe then you would’ve gotten it,” He placed the stool down by your knees, then looked down at you.

“I did get it. And fuck you, I could name a million things that you haven’t asked for but should have,” there was a spiteful but honest gleam in your eyes.

“Yeah like what? A diploma in this cooking shit? A valid liquor license? Or- or- or what? An extra fuckin set of fancy kitchen knives?” He placed the bowel on the stool.

“Yes…?”

“Nah, fuck that fuckin bullshit, I have this place handled. And yeah, you did get it, but maybe you wouldn’t have burnt your hands if you simply said please and thank you,” he sounded so righteous, but also so full of it. He looked too serious to actually mean it.

“Oh do not fucking lecture me on manners, Richie,” you rolled your eyes, he could’nt be talking.

“Oh I think I fucking will, you got a lot a’ nerve just snatching shit from me. I’m not cool with that,” He seemed genuine, you paused.

“What’s the bowel for, anyway?” you shifted forward, and suddenly the view of his waist felt a lot closer.

“I noticed you didn’t wash your hands, that’s like the first fuckin step in treating a first degree burn,” his arms were crossed, and he actually looked disappointed in you, but more so, just worried.

“Ah… I see,” 

Idiot.

“Yeah you fuckin see, whats the point of this neosporin bullshit if your hands aren’t even fuckin clean,” he guestured at the first aid kit.

“Alright, lets see those hands,” he held his own out in front of him.

“Just let me do this myself Richie-”

“No,” he commanded, hand still held out in front of him.

“Don’t you have a boiled over stew to clean up? You already told me what to do so just let me do it-”

“No,” he emphasized.

“The stew is fine where it is. Let me do this, I know what I’m doing,”

He made direct eye contact with you, his gaze honest and almost pleading. He wasn’t being annoying this time, just earnest. He wanted to do this.

You very slowly, very sheepishly held out your hands to his own.

His fingers were warm on your knuckles, but light, and more gentle than you had ever seen him care to be, at least towards you.

The last time he was decently nice to you was when you first met. When he reached to shake your hand and smiled, his cheeks were somewhat red. From the heat of the kitchen… obviously.

“Let's get this mess off,”

“Hey, I… tried,” you stammered, angry but also a bit embarrassed. 

“You did a piss poor fuckin job is what you did,” he spat, fingers still entirely tender despite his tone.

“Watch it,”

“Just sayin’,” he tilted his head to the side and flattened his mouth.

He carefully unwound the gauze from its loose hold around your palms, slowly revealing the sticky, red, inflamed mess at his fingertips.

You winced when the final bandage was torn away, and he frowned.

“Look what you’ve done,” he sounded like he was just about to tisk at you, how dare he.

“Me? Look what you’ve done. This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t scream in my face. I wouldn’t have forgotten about the damn pot,”

“Yeah but, you grabbed it,” he watched your hands as he grazed his thumb over yours, there was a slight tickle.

“No fucking shit, I grabbed it Richie,” you were just about to pull away at this point.

“Just shut up okay,” he muttered.

“Excuse me-” you exclaimed

“Shush,” he remarked even softer.

Suddenly his grip was around your wrists, and you had little room to protest.

He reached for the water bottle, and simultaneously guided your hands over the bowel.

With haste, he untwisted the bottle cap with his teeth and spat it to the floor.

“This might sting a little,” he said softly, all of you wanted to recoil, and push him away.

Your eyes widened with fear, “Let’s just do this at the sink-”

“Relax, I’m just gonna rinse them for now, Jesus. Plus, you really want Carmy’s voice ringing in your fuckin ear? He’s freakin’ out about that stew you know?” He grinned, you were less unnerved.

“Of course he is,” you smiled.

He poured the water over your palms, cool liquid buzzing on the heat of the burns, at first unpleasant, but then relieving.

You breathed in through your nose, mouth twitching into a frown.

“Sorry,” he whispered, his thumb rubbing your wrist lightly to calm you. 

You simply shook your head to reassure him.

It was so strange hearing his voice in this way, low and quiet, but still just as gritty as usual. It was strangely soothing. Way more pleasant than his loud nagging. 

He set the bottle down and dug his fingers through the first aid kit, retrieving a small sachet. He fiddled with the package, clearly very focussed on opening it.

“Is that-,”

“Petroleum jelly. It’s like the ultimate neosporin,” he noted, eyes still trained on the square plastic.

Peeling the package open, he knelt down and reached to hold your right hand, and began to squeeze some of the cool jelly onto your palm.

“How come you know so much about treating first degree burns?” 

“I know how to do things, you know? I’m not useless like you love to assume,” he uttered, and it hurt to hear him say it. 

The jelly was like instant gratification to the highest degree, you wondered why people used neosporin at all.

“I don’t think you’re useless,” you paused, “I think you don’t know what the fuck your doing a lot of the time,”

“Well, some of us have a lot more on our hands than just working at a restaurant,” 

You knew it was true. You worked at The Beef full time, and didn’t exactly have much going on at home. Your life was relatively quiet, no roommate, no partner, no pets, just a job and a few hobbies. Your life wasn’t boring per say, no not boring at all. Richie made sure of that. 

Compared to Richie though, you had it undoubtedly easy. Between Mikey’s passing, his divorce with Tiffany, and working to keep The Beef afloat, he was being stretched thin, with seemingly no clear direction to head in. You wished you could help. 

All you could do in that moment though, was sit there and listen, and just be there. Granted, you didn’t have much of a choice of leaving right then, but you could still just stay. You weren’t sure if anyone else had.

“I uh, used to treat Carmy’s burns when he was a kid, he was a fuck up in the kitchen before he got any good,” he smiled while smoothing the petroleum over your other hand.

“Oh really?” you snickered, that was fun to imagine.

“Oh yeah, he'd spill shit everywhere, and touch the stove when he forgot he even put it on. Mikey was pretty ruthless about it,” his smile slowly faded, his fingers tracing yours slower and slower, until they stopped.

You were both still, air quiet but not empty. It was filled with your heart, the rapid beating ringing in your ears. When Richie's eyes met yours, you were sure there was no other sound on earth. Just your heart and the pulse that you swore was his. His eyes were sunken and sad, but as you held his stare, they morphed into something like an aching hunger.

“What are you freaks doing in there?” Carmy’s voice rang from the other side of the door,

Your head snapped in its direction, loud ringing eliminated, but the breathless feeling still lingered.

“Fucking on your desk shit face!” Richie joked, a comment so out of left field you were about to become deaf from just how quickly the ringing returned. Suddenly your face was filled with heat, and it wasn’t from the kitchen anymore.

Asshole.

“Come on, you should be good now,”

“Mhm,” you nodded, face blank but barely stunned.

He quickly wrapped new gauze around your sensitive palms, his thumb lingering on your wrist longer than it probably should have.

Richie smiled at you, and suddenly placed his hand where your neck met your shoulder.

“No more touchin boiling hot pots, okay?,” he winked and lightly squeezed at the sensitive area. The touch caught you so off guard, you swore you were about to melt.

He quickly stood up, swung the office door open, and angrily announced, “And don't steal my god damn washcloth,”

He’s very concentrated and it’s very endearing

#thisismyrichiejerimovich #giverichiehairinseasonthree #richie jerimovich #the bear #ebon moss bachrach #the bear fanfiction #richie jerimovich x reader

[gallusrostromegalus]

I simply must know, why you needed so many spoons? During your post Power Nap adventure? Is there lore I’ve missed?

So, "Spoon Theory" is a way of understanding chronic conditions and the limits they place on the people who have those conditions ability to do literally anything. It's based on a story by Christine Miserandino told about explaining what it was like to have Lupus that she wrote in 2003. You can read the whole thing here:

But the short version is that "Spoons" is a unit of measurement for the amount of energy (which can be broken down into physical energy, emotional energy, mental energy etc.) someone has available to use to get stuff done. If you're a healthy person, you have a big pile of spoons, if you've got a chronic condition, you have a smaller pile, maybe only a handful.

Every single thing you do costs spoons. Wake up and open your eyes? pay a spoon. Take your meds? pay a spoon. Go to work? pay a spoon, unless there's traffic, then it will cost your extra spoons!

You can see how if you have a huge pile of spoons, you'll be able to do more things before you run out. And if you're ill, you won't be able to do as many things. You *CAN* borrow a few spoons from the future, but you will have fewer spoons the following day, and borrowing too much may result in a permanently smaller spoon pile.

I have ADHD and a couple ongoing health issues, and run out of mental and emotional energy extremely fast. In the story about the real estate showing, I had already borrowed against the previous day's spoons by the time I'd done all the emergency phone calls for my friend that got stranded in Montana. By the end f the day, with the emergency calls to the quilt guilds and SCA, organizing the start of the auction, and the social fracas that followed, I'd borrowed so many spoons that It's probably going to take me a good month or two to fully recover.

It's been about two weeks since that event and I'm still pretty fatigued. I'm needing to sleep a minimum of 10-12 hours per day to feel alright, and I've gone from being able to do an average of 3-4 normal tasks a day to 1-2 per day. It'll be like this for at least another 3-4 weeks, assuming something else doesn't happen to set me back.

[saintsenara]

12, 14, 16, and 22 for Snape asks please

I am most interested in your view of Lily as a character. To me, she never really seemed to live up to the hype I see? Like, I get the point that she's supposed to be Harry's mother and is supposed to be seen as the one who can't do any harm because of the sacrifice and all that. But I don't know whether JK purposely or intentionally put, like, the worst flashbacks to portray her as angelic(?). If I remember correctly, she wasn't even talked about as much as James by Remus or Sirius, they had to add things about her in the movies.

I can't ever see Lily as a good friend to Severus. To others, maybe, but I feel like it was different with Severus. More like a complicated one that was give-and-take, including Severus. Severus, an abused poor boy from Cokeworth, who knew about the wizarding world and Lily, a girl brought up in a happy family, who knew nothing about the wizarding world. Severus was able to get a friend while Lily gained knowledge of the wizarding world. But the one thing that cements this view of mine is the line where it says that Lily looks as if she was about to smile when Severus was being flipped over. Plus, I don't care if anyone says that she tried to defend him, but girl couldn't even use her wand or take points off as Prefect?? Girl was literally making a show, or whatever you want to call it.

Sorry about the rant, but I'm all for a good friend Lily in fics but when people say she was like that in canon? Maybe at times, but not when it mattered. I'd love to hear your opinion though.

thank you for the ask, @be-at-peace05!

[snape ask game here]

12. if you had to choose a golden trio era student to be snape's friend, who would it be and why?

while i don’t subscribe to the idea that he’s his godson, snape’s affection for draco malfoy does seem to be completely sincere. malfoy is also possessed of the sort of intellectual curiosity which snape obviously values (for example, how he figures out how to repair the vanishing cabinet - it’s genuinely impressive, and the fact that this is what he might be doing is certainly something which doesn’t occur to anyone in the order) and, while there’s no doubt that snape probably has as little interest in hearing him whine about everything as lucius does, i can see them having some genuinely fulfilling chats about potions. after all, malfoy gets an outstanding at owl, he must be good at the subject and he does seem to be interested in it.

14. what do you think is snape's favourite potion to prepare?

veritaserum. you just know he was chuckling to himself the whole time he was whipping that fake batch up for umbridge.

16. were you ever a snater? how and when did you become a snover?

i’m also extremely theatrical and fond of chemistry, so snape was always my boy.

i’m also capable of understanding the genre conventions which govern children’s literature and which require him to act as he does, so even when he was being a cock to various children we were chill.

22. do you think that lily was a good friend to snape?

well… this is the big one.

and the answer is no - but.

i always think it’s worth, before discussing lily, doing some quick acknowledgement of her narrative role in the story, which is a major contributing factor to why she feels a bit of a flop in person compared to the way she’s built up by other characters.

lily’s characterisation in canon is primarily hamstrung by two things. the first, as you note, is that her sacrificial role within the story requires a certain degree of perfection - not least because the harry potter series borrows heavily from the genre conventions of christian literature. lily is the analogy for the virgin mary - as we see when her purity of spirit succeeds in inflicting the first defeat on the satan-coded voldemort which will then be fulfilled by harry-as-the-resurrected-christ in the final stages of deathly hallows. obviously, a marian symbol is denied the complexity of other women - and that’s without even getting into the fact that the series has an extremely limited view of what ‘good’ motherhood is.

the second issue is that the text needs to keep lily’s centrality to the mystery hidden for as long as possible, not least because it needs to obscure snape’s true loyalties - and the role lily played in triggering them - until the very end of the seven-book series. this is the reason why sirius and lupin only speak about her once (after harry sees snape’s worst memory - and, even then, they’re mostly talking about james) and why harry’s self-conception is rooted entirely in his father - or in characters like sirius who are stand-ins for james - until half-blood prince, when the narrative begins to suggest that his mother is much more important than harry has previously given her credit for.

[the best way to illustrate this is to note that harry doesn’t give a shit in order of the phoenix that snape calls his mother a mudblood. his primary concern is that his father was a bully and that sirius aided and abetted him - when he thinks about lily, his concern is only that she doesn’t seem to like james, and his worry that his father forced her into a relationship. he doesn’t raise the fact that snape called lily a mudblood with sirius and lupin, and he doesn’t mention it to anyone else. but he cares - viscerally - about the slur at the end of half-blood prince, once the narrative is explicitly trying to convince the reader that snape is an unambiguous villain.]

these narrative necessities are a heavy burden for the canonical lily - and so i think she deserves some grace when it comes to how we analyse her behaviour in the snapshots of her as a real person we get in canon.

because of course she’s not perfect. why should she be? teenage girls are allowed to be less than flawless people - even towards their best friends.

[as an aside here, i think we have to be very careful - in our reading and our writing - not to replicate the contempt that jkr has for women who don’t fit her narrow view of ideal female behaviour. jkr loathes bitchy, girly, flighty, butch, rude, vapid, ugly women - just look at anything she’s ever said about pansy parkinson - and she tends to write her heroines - ginny and hermione chief among them - as that perfect not-like-other-girls storm of exactly pretty and clever and popular and brave enough to be worthy, but not so pretty as to be vain or clever as to be haughty or popular as to be slutty or brave as to be villainous. lily gets this treatment - and i think this drives the tendency of readers who dislike the way she behaves in canon to be hyper-critical of her characterisation. but the issue with this is that it’s also confining ‘good’ women to narrow boxes - while, all too often, allowing male characters a complexity their female counterparts are not permitted.]

which is to say: no, lily isn’t a good friend to snape. but he’s not a good friend to her either.

the issue that the two of them have is that they each relate to the other as though the other is the version of them that they’ve constructed in their head. they never take each other as they actually are.

it’s clear in canon that lily never moves beyond seeing snape as the child - devoted only to her - whose role was to teach her about the wonderful world of magic, and who acted primarily as a tool of her own self-actualisation. this is the reason why she can’t understand why snape is so concerned about fitting in at hogwarts - above all, why he wants to be friends with mulciber and avery - or why she never realises that he wants to be reassured of her affection for him versus the marauders, or why she doesn’t take what happens to him at the marauders’ hands seriously until she is made a part of it by james, or why she doesn’t understand snape’s relationship to his own social class and its role within slytherin. she simply doesn’t conceive of him as someone who exists for himself or who has a life of his own - he exists for her.

and snape thinks the same - he sees himself as the person who gave lily the wizarding world and, therefore, as the person who gets to dictate how she understands it. this is the reason why he can’t understand why she pushes back on his defence of mulciber’s use of dark magic (since he - in a very voldemort-ish move - clearly thinks that applying boundaries to what magic can and should be studied is gatekeeping), or why she doesn’t agree with him that the death eaters will help him, or why she’s upset when he’s rude to petunia, or why she leans into the performance of class expected from muggleborns (sucking up to slughorn, taking her pureblood husband’s name) in a time of increasing sectarian tension. she exists for him.

this assessment obviously makes them both sound incredibly cruel, but actually this is the way that childhood friendships often go. it’s very easy to see how the fact of being the only two magical children in cokeworth was validating for both snape and lily, and how this formed a tie between them which was very fierce but very brittle - which was never going to do anything other than shatter as they grew older, especially as they became aware of things like social structure, political affiliation, and sexual desire. it’s cruel of lily to laugh at snape’s poverty - absolutely - but it’s also the way that lots of teenagers who haven’t entirely grappled with their own relationship to society behave, and it’s also true that acting up in front of a boy you fancy is a time-honoured tradition which can also cause you to be quite cruel. lily isn’t nice by any means when snape is being attacked by james and sirius, but she doesn’t have to be. she just has to be human.

there are two final points which i think it’s worth being aware of:

the first is that snape evidently stands out as one of the few visibly working-class students in the castle [so much so that i have a meta in my drafts about whether or not hogwarts is a selective school] and the fact that he is obviously targeted for his poverty is cruel, and i understand why it makes many fans want to defend him - particularly given the fandom’s fondness for glorifying aristocracy and wealth.

but lily is also an other in wizarding society. i think it’s often not taken as seriously as it should be by snape fans just how terrified she must have been for her own safety, particularly from the later 1970s onwards, when all the evidence of canon is that voldemort is about to win. the wizarding world is set up to exclude her just as much as it is snape, and while we can and should be critical how her response to his poverty is unfair, we have to do the same for his outright refusal to acknowledge that she is subjected to discrimination on the basis of her blood status.

the second is that we don’t actually know if lily was a prefect - she was head girl, but james managed to become head boy without having been one. the person we do know was a prefect was remus lupin. if we’re criticising anyone for failing to intervene, it should be him.

#snape ask game #severus snape #lily evans #asks answered

[y-rhywbeth2]

I have questions about the Weave, and I thought you might know.

Since not all magic comes from Mystra (warlocks, sorcerers who get their magic from say, the Shadow Weave and the Feywild), do the magic casters who get their abilities from other sources use the Weave or no, since it’s “hers”? For example. If I had a Wild Magic sorcerer, or a Shadow Magic Sorcerer, are they like. Always manipulating the Shadow Weave or whatever the Feywild has, or are they “borrowing” use of Mystra’s Weave when they’re on the material plane/toril/etc since she sort of rules the roost in these areas? And, if she wanted these sorcerers, or warlocks I suppose, to be not able to do magic, would she be able to stop them if their magic doesn’t come from her? I guess the same might go for clerics, since their powers come from their own gods, which isn’t always Mystra, so I don’t know if that’s Weave-based or not.

I’m sorry if this is difficult to parse, these were falling asleep questions that I wanted to ask before I forgot. Also I really appreciate your lore dumps and things they’re super helpful and interesting.

With the sole exception of Shadow Magic, all magic on Toril comes from/relies on the Weave/Mystra: magic + the Weave, and Mystra are one and the same. As I recall Gale saying, Mystra is magic.

Different classes simply access the Weave differently. The Weave is a sort of gateway/safety barrier maintained by Mystra to keep magic anchored and prevent raw magic breaking lose and uncontrolled (wild magic) or becoming unreachable (dead magic). Spellcasters basically build roads through the Weave in order to reach, channel and shape that raw magic.

Arcane magic is "the Art": For sorcerers magic is an innate part of them, and through trial and error (and sometimes education) they build their own personal routes of access. Wild magic sorcerers are still trying to cast spells as normal, there's just a very high chance of things going haywire. Wild magic utilises the areas where the Weave is damaged; it still uses it and the Weave must exist for Wild Magic to exist, if the Weave is completely absent then the raw magic is inaccessible and you get Dead Magic zones where magic isn't possible at all. An analogy that's given for warlocks is that their patron basically gives them a magic GPS so that they can find a path through the Weave using a road set up by the patron. Wizards and Bards build their roads through study (which is more academia and scientific method like for wizards, and usually more prose/verse/music theory-esque for Bards)

Divine magic, as used by clerics, druids, paladins, rangers and etc, is "Power": Mortal reaches out via prayer, god reaches back, and the path in the Weave is formed that way. While this power is the power of the deity itself, implanted with instructions on "how to use" into the worshipper's brain, it still gets into their brain via the Weave, and so gods and worshippers must go through Mystra as an intermediate/conduit.

Spellcasters from other worlds who come to Toril must use the Weave while they are there. Torilian spellcasters who go planewalking are subject to the magic systems/rules that govern wherever they're going.

Mystra can and will destroy your roads or ban your access to them - and would genuinely love to ban access to evil deities and people who want to use magic to harm others - but policing single mortal on Toril is a bit of a pain in the ass, and she's also limited by the terms of her employment contract as goddess of magic.

Mystra, as the manifestation of the Weave, decides who can draw upon it and who is barred from accessing it. Deciding is somewhat taxing to her, for every attempted use of the Weave by the target of this ability draws her attention and some small bit of her power, but for a mortal (or even a hun- dred mortals) doing so, this distraction is trivial to the deity. Such a punishment is normally reserved for someone who has been abusive of magic, trying to inflict great harm to magic itself (such as by intentionally creating areas of wild or dead magic), or researching spells of mass destruc- tion, such as many of those known in Imaskar, Narfell, Netheril, and Raumathar. Such a being cannot access the power of the Weave, cannot cast spells or use spell comple- tion or spell trigger items or activate spell-like or supernat- ural abilities. However, magic and its effects can still harm them, and such beings typically are slain by their rivals or angry commoners for their cruel and mad works. Mystra can also bar a deity from accessing the Weave, which would prevent the deity from using magic while in Faerûn but not while the deity was on another plane where the Weave does not exist, such as any of the planar homes of the deities. Such an act is very draining to her, and she only does it to reduce the power of a deity intervening directly in Faerûn. She cannot block a deity’s ability to grant spells to wor- shipers without negating the ability of each worshiper to draw on the Weave. In addition to being time-consuming to locate each of the target deity’s followers and sever their individual connections to the Weave, such an act would greatly upset the balance of power between the deities, angering Lord Ao. - Magic of Faerûn

Mystra has also closed off all and any access to Netherese High Magic, which is clearly too powerful to trust such hubristic creatures as mages with. You will stay within the power cap of 9th level spells, and you will like it.

The two areas of magic outside of her control are: Psionics, apparently (although that's not what it's called on Toril. It's better known as "mind magic" colloquially, "metaphsychics" to academics, and "mindfire" to mages (or the "Invisible Art", to Duergar). Sources disagree here. Some will tell you that Psionics are something other: and others will say that they still tap into the Weave but for some reason Mystra has zero influence over it, although it's been suggested that this is more because Mystra is "too busy with all the arcane shenanigans!", and thus far has only kept a careful side eye on it. She can and will still slap you down if you start threatening the stability of the Weave/the health of the world.

Where the Weave is the tapestry of all reality, governed by Mystra, the Shadow Weave is a copy made by Shar using the gaps between the threads of the true Weave: absolute nonexistence. Shar's end goal is to spread use of the Shadow Weave until it's used more than the Weave, and then take Mystra's place as goddess of magic. Ultimately though, while the Shadow Weave is very good at illusion, enchantment, necromancy and etc it comes with a lot more limitations and drawbacks: for example it can't replicate any spells that create light and heat. Also channelling it is a traumatic experience, and most users end up converting to Shar, because at least then she does her thing and numbs them to the suffering using her "gift" causes. As the Shadow Weave is not part of Mystra, she has no way of knowing if somebody is using it or cutting them off.

That said, apparently the Shadow Weave still relies on the Weave to exist and function. :

The Shadow Weave is an alternative to the Weave crafted by Shar that literally rides atop the Weave; it is an echo of the Weave and can't survive without it. - Ed Greenwood

Ultimately, there is no real way to completely get around needing Mystra if you want to use magic on Toril.

#Did this need to be this long. Did it answer anything. I do not know. #Don't worry about being coherent: you have a better shot than I do #Influenza decided to hit me like a truck so there's a chance I'm still slightly delirious from post-fever and lack of decent rest #My kingdom for a decent immune system #lore stuff #asks

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

Star Rail mechanics for beginners

Characters have two attributes:

Their Path

Their element

Characters can equip two sorts of items:

Lightcones

Relics

Characters can upgrade three things:

Their level

Their upgradeable abilities (basic attack, skill, ult, talent)

Their Traces (extra skills + extra damage multipliers ability tree)

This is all you really need to keep track of.

FAQ

Q: Can you dodge?

A: No. Shield up and/or use a healer. Shields are really good.

Q: Can you assassinate enemies?

A: No, but attacking them first does damage them when the fight starts.

Q: Is the turn-based combat fun?

A: I found it fun, it’s not so complex that it’s hard to understand, it’s pretty and it’s relatively dynamic. Try it out~

Further details below.

Path

Acts both as a weapon class and an analog for a dnd class style battle role. Preservation characters have Tank like abilities and so on.

Element

The damage type your character does, as off launch thats one of seven:

Physical

Ice

Fire

Lightning

Wind

Imaginary

Quantum

Each enemy has multiple weaknesses among these. Enemy with a weakness to an element usually resists it less and their Toughness bar gets damaged every time they’re hit by their weakness. (It’s like a second white HP bar.)

Once the Toughness bar is empty, they suffer from an element-specific effect (Frozen if you broke it with ice, Burn with fire, etc), their action is delayed, and they’re stunned for a turn.

Lightcones

A character can equip up to one, and their level can be upgraded. They add extra stats to any character and each have a Path assigned. Only a corresponding Path will activate the extra effect a Lightcone has.

Example:

A Hunt character with a Hunt lightcone will activate the extra effect (ex: Basic attack damage 20%), but this will not happen if the Hunt character equips a Preservation lightcone. However, the Hunt character will benefit from the extra stats in both cases. (ex: HP +300, ATK + 200, DEF + 400) .

Lightcones are primarily gained in gacha but there’s a few other ways to obtain them, like level up rewards or shops. They come in 3*, 4*, and 5*.

Identical lightcones can be fused up to four times (for a total of five levels), which increases their extra effect.

Relics

They’re equippable items that have stats and set bonuses with extra effects. Set bonuses in CBT3 were at 2 and 4 relics of the same set.

They come in 2*, 3*, 4*, and 5*. The maximum level of a relic changes with its rarity. As off CBT3, none of the Relic set were rarity locked, so you’ll be able to upgrade any of them by swapping out for rarer pieces.

A character can equip up to six relics, split into two subtypes of relics: sets with 4 relics and sets with 2 relics. You don’t need to worry about this. Just know they add stats to your character and give extra bonuses when in a set. Easy.

These are NOT gacha-locked, they’re fully farmable. Farming can be automated and you can borrow a friend’s character for it too, so it’s not too tedious and also an opportunity to experiment~

Level

Characters are leveled up with exp materials and other materials you find or fight for. User level locked due to materials becoming accessible over time.

Upgradeable Abilities

There’s four abilities you can upgrade (and one you can’t, Technique).

Upgrading an ability makes its multipliers go up, but doesn’t change how it works.

It takes material and money for each, all of which, to my knowledge, can be obtained just by playing the game normally (I think one of the rarest ones is in the free battle pass though).

These upgradable abilities are:

Basic attack

Skill

Ultimate

Talent

Upgrade them to make them better. That’s really all there is to it.

Regarding how they’re used:

During your turn, you may consume a skill point to use a skill, or use a basic attack and gain a skill point.

Skill points are shared by the whole team.

Attacking and getting hit gives your character energy. When energy is full, Ultimates become available. These can be used at any time, even during the enemy’s turn.

Talents activate without your input whenever their conditions are fulfilled but may have use limits.

Traces

Traces are skill trees with two sorts of bonuses you can unlock:

Stat bonuses (ex: HP +4%)

New abilities

You can upgrade Traces over time with materials and money. Each unlocked node of the Trace only needs to be bought once, so it’s a good idea to keep an eye on whether you can buy a nice one.

(As a word of personal advice, unlock at least one, preferably two ways to remove debuffs from allies before chapter 2, it’ll make your life easier during a certain boss fight… March 7th and Natasha have cheap Traces that let you do so.)

For character information and cost calculation you can use this website, but beware of spoilers as it’s a database.

#hsr #honkai star rail #honkai: star rail #there you go! Hope it’s helpful