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#there is nothing new being added here that is not already captured in a pre-existing framework of racism and colonialism and imperialism 😐

oreolesbian · 2 years

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kenobi thoughts episodes 1-2

- goes to show you how good a star wars project can be when the creators behind it actually acknowledge what fans want while also crafting a cohesive, thought out storyline that fits the pre-established canon, huh?

- god it’s so nice to be bitten by the star wars bug again

- when the trailer dropped and they showed obi off tatooine, my first thought was that he was only off planet for leia. i literally saw no other feasible reason for him to leave tatooine unless leia was in danger. i fucking love being right. (also! yay! not stuck on tatooine for a whole season! lol)

- i do desperately want more baby luke screentime, but i am still deliriously happy with what we have. also i want more beru screen time. but OWEN!!! i love him. put respect on his name!!

- super nerdy thing here: but when that one lady on tatooine told the inquisitors that they have no rights in the Rim because the Empire doesn’t officially have control...yeah baby, attention to canon details. it makes me so happy when they do that lol.

- temuera morrison cameo! not cody but still just as fucking heartwrenching! saw someone describe it as “one of the many ways anakin haunts obi wan” cause he was a 501st solider and i can’t breathe…

- the way the show balances drama and humor so well...you know...LIKE STAR WARS DOES. i’m literally crying...the best i can describe it is like a clone wars episode arc. it knows all the right places to put the charming jokes, but they aren’t jokes for the sake of like...dumb mcu-esque meta stuff or whatever the fuck (like what the sequels were doing, *cough*), but actual star wars humor. it’s kind of hard to put into words, but like...iykyk

- BABY LEIA. i literally could not have asked for a better representation of the headcanons i have had for baby leia for literal years. not only does this version capture the spirit of leia so well—but you can feel anakin and padme in her. her interactions with obi-wan aren’t just adorable and charming (reminding you fondly and achingly of obi wan and anakin of the past), but it’s a reminder of what could of been if obi-wan had gotten to be a real uncle. it’s adding context to leia and obi-wan’s relationship in anh that we could only theorize about. having leia be self-conscious about being adopted into the organa family! BREHAAAAAAAAAAAAA. leia’s use of the force being subtle in her sharp wit and mental manipulation skills. i’m literally losing my mind at just how right they got this. i think it’s so shocking after years of them writing luke wrong, lol.

- they also characterized obi-wan so well. i’m literally vibrating. the second i saw ewan’s back i started ascending into a new plane of existence. but like—the way he dismisses that other jedi, not because he doesn’t care, but because he genuinely can’t help him without risking luke. the way he initially can’t make himself help leia because he’s so frightened of failing another skywalker. his sense of justice winning out despite it all; the hopelessness he feels; calling out to fucking qui gon ahhhhhhh; the nightmares we all wanted; the fact that he’s grimy and old and bitter and tired. THAT FAMOUS OBI WAN EXASPERATION. just the scene with the jawa alone had me sobbing on the floor because—that’s obi-wan. and yes, most of this is attributed to ewan’s performance and familiarity with the role, but i mean...i gotta give kudos to the writing as well.

- oh yeah…btw…how??? is the grand inquisitor dead? i never watched rebels but i know he’s a major character in that show (and eventually dies in that show)…and swr takes place canonically after 9 BBY…so…maybe he’s not dead?

- reva is such a fascinating character to me already, and i have so many thoughts about what her story might be about. on the surface it seems to be just about proving herself to vader to gain power and notoriety. we can tell she comes from “nothing,” so moving herself up in the world is important to her. but there feels like something more...and here’s why:

- i cannot emphasize enough that literally no one in the galaxy knows that anakin skywalker and darth vader are the same person. in fact, no one knows this until YEARS AFTER RETURN OF THE JEDI—because luke and leia agree that there’s no reason to make that information public, only for it to become public on accident later. the only people we know, 100% who know about anakin being vader (in this time period (9 BBY) only, so obviously excluding ahsoka, luke, leia, etc.), are obi-wan, yoda, palpatine, most likely bail (and in that case, a high chance breha), and still up for debate owen and beru (but i highly doubt it, in fact i have always doubted that they knew that much). the public story is that anakin skywalker, a very famous and well-known public figure during the clone wars, died in the purges along with the rest of the jedi. vader is assumed by the public to be on the same level as the inquisitors—just one of palpatine’s many little assassins. hell, most of the galaxy believes vader is a droid—that’s how inhuman he comes across. there is literally no way to make the connection between anakin and vader, because anakin falling to the dark was a small contained moment that only a few people witnessed. obi wan left anakin on mustafar under the assumption that he had killed him. but to be fair, anakin never addressed himself as darth vader to obi-wan in those moments, and obi-wan was not present when palpatine rescued anakin from the fire and put him in the suit, meaning that even if obi did know that anakin was alive, he wouldn’t have known what he looked like. so, obi-wan not making the connection between vader and anakin is fine—i can accept that into a canon mindset. however, what I am curious about is how reva knows about anakin. there is literally no way she should know this unless: 1) vader told her (which seems highly unlikely given that we know vader considers anakin skywalker to be a completely different man..plus i don’t believe he’d just be telling that to just anyone); 2) she came to the conclusion based on research due to vader’s intense desire to hunt down kenobi (although i don’t know why she just wouldn’t assume vader would want a very high profile jedi dead. i’m sure vader would be just as adamant about yoda...and no one makes the assumption that luke is vader’s son just because vader later becomes obsessed w/ him); or 3) (my personal theory) she somehow knew anakin prior to becoming vader. whether in passing or personally, i don’t know, passing seems more likely. she’s a force-sensitive so it’s not that shocking to think she wouldn’t be aware who anakin is and maybe put two-and-two together. after all, she was able to track down information about bail and obi-wan once working together in the clone wars. either way, i’m very curious to see how they explain this (someone theorized that she could somehow be involved in that opening order 66 scene?? 👀)

- HOLY SHIT OBI WAN GOT LUKE THE TOY SHIP HE HAS IN ANH. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. HOLY FUCK. OH MY GOD. I WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM THIS PIECE OF INFORMATION I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED.

#kenobi spoilers #obi-wan kenobi #star wars

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nightingaelic · 3 years

Note

Fallout 4 companions respond to getting captured by Super Mutants (for optional added angst, maybe even getting turned into a super mutant). Strong not included for obvious reasons.

Ada: "Be advised: My guardian has equipped me with a tracking device in the event of my capture. You lack the privileges necessary to access their estimated time of arrival."

Ada is always matter-of-fact about her situation, even if her legs aren't functioning and she's squashed between two bags of body parts on the floor of an abandoned hospital. She's also patient, and content to wait until the sole survivor comes to retrieve her. In the meantime, she'll run escape scenario algorithms to determine the best way out of the building. Not affected by FEV for obvious reasons.

Cait: "Are you f***ing serious?! I'll tear your ears off with my bare hands and string them on a necklace! You don't know who you're messin' with, you green bastards!"

No one can match Cait in sheer viciousness when fighting to free themselves, but even she has her limits. The sole survivor would likely find her in a cage, hyperventilating and on the verge of tears. If the super mutants made the mistake of exposing her to FEV, she would tear the nest apart herself. Mutation would be another internal struggle for Cait, but I think she could successfully make peace with her new state of being if given enough time. A makeshift, giant baseball bat might help.

Codsworth: "Unhand me, you brutes! By God, the class of people I'm forced to associate with these days just keeps falling!"

Pre-war Codsworth is constantly offended by the super mutants' behavior, particularly their lack of housekeeping. He can't help bemoaning his situation for all to hear, something that would probably annoy the super mutants enough to bonk him on the dome until he shuts down. Some assembly required once the sole survivor catches up with him. Not affected by FEV for obvious reasons.

Curie: "While we are waiting, would any of you mind answering some questions for me about how you came to exist in this state? Ça vous dit?"

With a wide new world of oddities to study, Curie takes her abduction as yet another opportunity to learn. If nothing else, she can observe super mutants in their natural- or at least chosen- habitat. Prior to her synth transition, not affected by FEV for obvious reasons. Post-synth transition, however, I think Curie would take the mutation as an opportunity to study the effects that turn a person into a super mutant. I don't think she would lose her bubbly personality, similar to the way Lily the nightkin retained some of her old sense of self.

Danse: "You may have the upper hand today, but you and the other freaks of nature are fighting a losing battle." [spits]

Having lost the most to super mutants in the past, Danse fights his captors until he is completely spent. In fact, the sole survivor would have to practically carry the man home for a lengthy recovery, something his suit of power armor would definitely help with. Mutation into a super mutant is one of Danse's worst nightmares, and if exposed to FEV, he would beg the sole survivor to show him the same mercy he once showed Cutler.

Deacon: "Oh yeah, this reminds me of that summer I spent camping out on the National Mall. You even look familiar. Know anyone by the name of Uncle Leo?"

Like in every tight spot he's ever been in, Deacon masks his stress level with quick wits and quicker retorts. Most likely to slip his confines, let the sole survivor fight their way to the heart of the nest, then reveal he was free the whole time and they needn't have bothered. If exposed to FEV, Deacon would probably panic and enlist the sole survivor's help in searching for a cure, positive that a mutated countenance would irreparably damage his ability to help the Railroad. Then again, he might see it as a "new look" and use it to his advantage for a bit.

Dogmeat: [snarling]

Any super mutants that get their hands on Dogmeat are highly likely to lose fingers. Still, there's not much the canine can do if he's put in a cage, other than bark and wait for rescue. While FEV leaves many dogs as aggressive shells of their former selves, I think Dogmeat would be largely okay with his new green-and-bulky form and would still happily guard settlements and follow the sole survivor around, not unlike Gracie from Far Harbor.

Hancock: "Whoa, whoa relax. I've got time to hang out for a bit, no need to get all worked up. Don't stain the coat, I doubt you can cough up the caps to get it cleaned."

Of all the companions, Hancock is the most unbothered by becoming a super mutant captive. It's just another wasteland adventure, albeit one where the opposing cast of characters are all at least two feet taller than him. He might earn some bumps and bruises for being unable to keep his smart mouth shut, but he'll just bide his time until he spots an opening to wreak havoc and escape, or until the sole survivor comes along to wiggle him out. Not affected by FEV for obvious reasons.

MacCready: "You know, I'm getting real sick of you green lunatics. Spent almost a decade living next door to some of your cousins, and they knew enough not to mess with me."

Upon capture, MacCready would roll his eyes and accept that he's going to have to wait for some help. He'd get more desperate the longer his wait went on though, envisioning a world where Duncan lost his dad without getting to say goodbye. Mutation wouldn't necessarily dampen his spirits at first: After all, if anyone can find a cure, it's the sole survivor.

Valentine: "Not exactly a group of masterminds, are you?"

At this point, Nick is used to getting abducted and locked up by just about every group in the Commonwealth. He knows super mutants well enough to know they don't listen to reason, but he can't resist getting in a jab or two about how he's far from edible. Not affected by FEV for obvious reasons.

Piper: "So, uh, what's say I write up a column about how super mutants are seriously misunderstood creatures and we'll call it even? No?"

Piper might have similar levels of confidence as Deacon, but hers are much more likely to waver when faced with possible death by ingestion. Her quips would be fewer and more nervous until the sole survivor arrived, at which point she would put her game face back on and cheer her rescuer along. If exposed to FEV, she would beg the sole survivor to help her find a cure for Nat's sake, and eventually weasel the information about Virgil out of them.

Preston: "I didn't need to get up close to know why you're called 'uglies,' but here we are."

While terrified at what the super mutants might do to him, Preston is the most level-headed when captured. He's already great under pressure in battle, and he's used to setting his own fears aside to find solutions for his woes. Most likely to have more people coming to his rescue than the sole survivor alone, due to his role with the Minutemen. If exposed to FEV, Preston would likely accept his fate with dignity, and make the sole survivor promise to dispatch him if he turns violent. I don't think he would, though, and the Minutemen would probably be more accepting of a super mutant officer than most.

X6-88: "I can afford to wait for field assistance, mutant. They will not make the mistakes I did."

X6-88 accepts his predicament calmly, like he accepts everything that happens to him. If unable to free himself, he will patiently wait for the Institute help he knows is coming, even if it's just the sole survivor with a pipe pistol. Regarding FEV mutation, turning into a super mutant might be the straw that breaks the camel's back for X6-88. In the Institute's eyes, the Courser is now hideous and no longer viable in the field: In X6-88's opinion, though, he is even stronger and more dangerous than he was before. I could see him finally choosing to desert his post out of a growing sense of self-preservation once transformed.

BONUS!

Gage: "Well look who's suffering from delusions of adequacy! I'd call you f***ers dumb as rocks, but at least a rock can hold a door open."

Porter Gage is great at heckling, and just good enough that he toes the line right up to where super mutants would start to understand he's insulting them. The sole survivor would likely find a gaggle of them around his confinement space, convinced he's complimenting them when he's actually being very rude. Breaking him out gives him the biggest smile. Becoming mutated himself might actually benefit Gage in the long run, as the raiders he used to be wary of would instead find themselves newly-wary of the Overboss' right-hand man.

Longfellow: "Too bad you aren't one of the more reasonable ones. Might've saved your skin."

Longfellow treats his own capture with a sense of humor, acknowledging that he's not as young as he once was and might need help now and then. Chuckles the whole time the sole survivor is fighting their way to him, and grateful upon release. If turned into a super mutant, he'd shrug, accept his fate, and ask to be escorted to live with his friend Erickson up near Far Harbor.

Maxson: "I welcome the day you and your kind meet total destruction."

If Danse is angry about being captured by his sworn enemies, Maxson is seething. Kidnapping a Brotherhood Elder is something that shouldn't even be possible in his eyes, let alone by super mutants. Once freed, he would do his best to erase the nest from the earth: Fire, missiles, tactical nukes if necessary. Also like Danse, Maxson would order the sole survivor to mercifully dispatch him if he were mutated. Additionally, he'd have them destroy any evidence of his exposure to FEV, and simply turn in his holotags with the news that he had perished in the line of duty.

Desdemona: [livid silence]

Plunks herself down, lights a cigarette if her hands are free, and waits. Eventually, the sole survivor or Glory will turn up, and she'll give them one, lingering look of disappointment before vanishing into the Commonwealth ruins. Least likely to get captured in the first place. If mutated, she would reassume her job as leader of the Railroad with no comment, and everyone else would know better than to ask.

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web1995 · 4 years

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Look upon my Works, ye Mighty: The Colossus of Garfield

Fig. 1

Surely our readers will need no introduction to The Colossus of Garfield, tenth wonder of the world. A much-favored subject of Art, Poetry, and History, the Colossus continues to preoccupy our collective imagination, as it captivated the artists who hewed his hulking body from the mighty pliant rock. Babel-like, he looms as testament, monument, and warning— for the Colossus is the folly of a long-since fallen empire, attempting to immortalize their king— and yet, how his image immortally endures!

Historians place the construction of the Colossus variably, but without a doubt before our millennium. The earliest historical references to the Colossus are roughly contemporary with ancient California. For centuries upon centuries, he has been a site of pilgrimage and tourism, similar to the (likely fictitious) ruins of the Colosseum (Fig. 2) as described by authors in the ancient world, which drew thousands of visitors curious to witness an immense historical object. The Colossus is one of the largest and most magnificent ruins standing today, and unlike the Colosseum, there is no doubt about whether it really existed.

Fig. 2 [ Artist’s reconstruction of the apocryphal Colosseum ]

Today, there are many historical depictions of the Colossus of Garfield, all worthy of examination, and it is our hope that whether you come to our little book as a scholar of the Colossus or as a reader who knows him only as the tenth wonder that you will find something of note or amusement here.

Let us return to Fig. 1:

In this oil on canvas painting of the Colossus, by an unknown artist in the 17th—18th century WX, little room is left for the sky. The Colossus and the vast plain of the rocky beach upon which he sits are the overwhelming focus, massive waves breaking upon his placid visage, walls of foam several feet in height building up around his immovable bulk. Bleached by sun, sea, and storm, the Colossus basks unperturbed. In the background, indistinct buildings larger than one might easily comprehend rise upon the sea cliffs, works of the mighty empire following the collapse of that which crafted the Colossus.

The painting evokes a distorted sense of time and a distorted sense of scale, juxtaposing old and new, centering the Colossus despite its weatheredness, and even taking particular care to render that weatheredness with something like love. New climate data has determined that the seas were already receding significantly in the 17th century WX, suggesting that the artist, having visited the Colossus, wanted to reach back into time to when the sea had broken daily upon its monumental little paws. It was a time long ago— a time when the Colossus was already ancient.

Fig. 3

In Fig. 3, we see another stunning oil painting of the Colossus by another unknown artist, probably dating from the First Modern Desert Age, though the possibility of the artist depicting an earlier time, like the painter of Fig. 1, cannot be discounted. Likely painted during the 2nd century RYE, here the Colossus sits among endless dunes. The desert takes on a naturalistic, bluish hue in contrast to the garish orange of the Colossus, somehow scarcely diminished by hundreds of years. The Colossus appears to offer some shade, but the unseen overhead sun fills the canvas with a palpable heat.

Art historians throughout the centuries have disagreed as to whether the Colossus was originally built to stand at the sea’s edge, in the water, or on dry land, and who can blame them? The effect of the Colossus remains transformative regardless of where it sits. Perhaps its builders even knew that the Colossus would endure longer than the sea or sand upon which it originally was hewn into the shape it continues to hold today.

Fig. 4

Fig. 4 is an oil and acrylic painting which likely drew upon the Desert Colossus (Fig. 3) for its composition. Probably dating from the 9th century RYE, the artist portrays a partially submerged Colossus in much the same style as the Desert Colossus, with influence also taken from the Sea Colossus (Fig. 1). Here the focus is on the shallow seas surrounding the Colossus nearly as much as on the Colossus itself, following the lead of the Desert Colossus. A sense of barrenness pervades the Submerged Colossus, no living things visible within the frame. The Desert Colossus by contrast is suggestive of perhaps some vegetation, perhaps some fungus, while the Submerged Colossus emphasizes a true sense of loneliness: the observer is alone with him.

Fig. 5

In this engraving, from the Second Modern Desert Age, by the anonymous historian and physician known as The Anonymous Historian and Physician of the Second Modern Desert Age, we see documentation of how the eyes of the Colossus were mined for old materials for use in weaponry in the Fourth War. When the seas around the Colossus receded yet again, this time leaving behind a rocky bed, it became a simple matter to access the Colossus. Clearly, the urgency of the Fourth War took priority over preserving what was left of the Colossus’ original state. Decorative parts of the Colossus which can be seen in previous depictions are missing here, likely also mined for old materials.

However, the Colossus certainly survived the Fourth War, and still remains standing after the Seventh War, his expression scarcely altered by the loss of his eyes. Perhaps it would have even brought his creators some pleasure to know that the Colossus played a role in wars so long after their deaths.

For the Colossus must depict a Soldier Emperor, some have cried— a man in the form of an unknown beast, prepared to pounce. Others have argued that the Colossus is at rest, that nothing about his posture indicates a thirst for battle. Indeed, the Colossus cannot even be said definitively to represent a man, though the rulers he is believed to possibly depict are largely men.

We have seen the Colossus itself throughout time. But just who or what is the Colossus? The question has vexed scholars for nearly as long as the Colossus has stood. We call him “Garfield” because some ancient texts do, not because we have any idea who this “Garfield” was or what he meant to his people.

Fig. 6

Another tremendous monument which still stands today is that of the Sphinx, sometimes informally referred to as the Garfield by scholars of the Colossus (though this is an error, as the Sphinx pre-dates the Colossus by at least a century). In Fig. 6, we see a tempera painting of the Sphinx in which its similarity to the Colossus is undeniable. Could the creators of the Colossus have been imitating the Sphinx? The Sphinx is believed to be a representation of a ruler as a mythological being or a God, and perhaps the Colossus is similar.

Fig. 7

But what if the Colossus is meant to represent an animal? The animal is unidentifiable, and likely to be mythological in nature, though it may be a stylized depiction of a living animal. Scholars have debated endlessly which animal the Colossus might depict, with recent arguments being made for the Colossus perhaps depicting a member of the same or a related species to the unidentified animal seen in Fig. 7, a “photograph” from the 20th or 21st century AD, when the art of photography flourished briefly before being lost and the famed photographer Leonardo da Vinci captured this image.

Fig. 8

And if we turn to other ancient art? Believed to also be a portrait of “Garfield” (which is to say, the person or animal portrayed by the Colossus), dating from a similar timeframe as the Colossus, Fig. 8 is likely a funerary inscription. Here, the figure depicted is a sort of guardian, perhaps looking over the deceased.

Fig. 9

Another piece of ancient art, Fig. 9 was created by an artist known only as “MarkVomit” and has been the subject of much debate. Is it meant to reaffirm Garfield’s power, to remind the viewer that they are not immune to his propaganda? Or is it meant to protest Garfield, to subvert and challenge the propaganda that this ruler must have utilized to maintain his rule? The answers are lost to history.

Fig. 10

Fig. 11

Fig. 12

Other sculptures appearing to depict the same figure exist, though none on such a monumental scale as the Colossus. A frequent theme seems to be his ability to control time, as seen in Figures 10–12. Was this what inspired the creators of the Colossus to build him so enduringly?

Fig. 14

One of the more outlandish theories regarding his nature is that the Colossus is meant to resemble a cat (see Fig. 14 for a hyperrealistic painting of a cat for reference) but this has largely been discredited by modern scholarship. If the Colossus is a feline, certainly his species is different— simply observe the difference in ear shape, eye shape, and gait. However, certain cats do carry a gravitas reminiscent of the Colossus, which brings the question again to mind— could the Colossus have been an ordinary domestic shorthair all along?

The identity of Garfield, if there is a historical “Garfield,” remains a tantalizing mystery. Here we have such a tangible piece of history, and we are so unable to comprehend him! In another sense, though, perhaps the Colossus has taken on its own significance, and may represent something far beyond the man he once symbolized, the God he was built to honor, or the animal he commemorated. For who in our modern world has not gone to see the Colossus and found themselves moved? His place as the tenth wonder is well deserved.

Perhaps new understandings will come to light regarding the nature of the Colossus, and perhaps not. Either way, he will remain until he is entirely unmade, his old materials bit by bit chipped away by the hands of humans and humidity fluctuations, the silent and sole guardian of his secret knowledge.

In closing, let us visit two pieces of poetry composed about the Colossus of Garfield (the first of which only survives in this single fragment).

#art history

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gascon-en-exil · 3 years

Text

But What If You Want to Come Out on Vers Bottom?: A “Coming Out on Top” Review (Part 4)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

All that’s left now are the ten Brofinder dates. Because there’s so many of these and because they’re all fairly short with only a few variations in how they can go down I’m not going to be spending much time on each - just a quick overview of the stories as well as an evaluation of the inevitable sex. The quality does vary a fair bit, although it’s all subjective as to which are better depending on what kind of story you’re looking for as well as, in some cases, your kinks.

Jake

Comes with a fairly obvious death condition, a sequence in which Mark and Jake get to nerd out over The Legend of Zelda, and another in which Jake lectures Mark/the player on the virtues of polyamory. I’ve always been poly-friendly myself, and the lecture does lead into a - thoroughly random - train scenario, but to say it’s not how you’d logically expect this date to go down is a bit of an understatement. Jake never even takes his shirt off, so in place of a body hair toggle he gets one to dye his hair pink for whatever reason. It’s a shame too, because at the start of the date there’s some discussion over Jake’s weight and how he should be confident in his size and his unusually elaborate buffet eating strategies.

Tommy

Like Jake’s date Tommy’s rapidly goes to some unexpected places, but in his case those places entail getting kidnapped and forced to talk through the failures of the criminal justice system at gunpoint. There are more than a few chances to get a quick game over, some funnier than others, but if Mark survives to make it to Tommy’s place he’s greeted by a brief but hot round of sex with the one man in the cast whose dick size is talked up even more than Brad’s. In this case it may actually be warranted; the girth of that thing looks positively inhuman in the CGs, so, rejoice if you’re into that.

Frankie

This guy talks an outlandishly highbrow game that he very clearly can’t deliver on, and having a successful date with him requires Mark to be as aggressively honest as possible as a means of badgering Frankie into admitting to all his unsubtle deception. The man underneath them may just be a more pathetic prospect than Mark himself, but at least the player gets treated to as good a striptease as this game can deliver with its assets followed by sex on the beach...literally, not the cocktail. This date reserves inexplicably dirty names of that nature for gelato of all things.

Luke

The absurdity only continues to build as Mark is invited to “Streamflix and chill” by an Irish frat bro who doesn’t know what that term means because apparently this universe’s Netflix knockoff doesn’t exist in Ireland. It’s up to the player to smoothly guide Mark through a showing of an inspirational story about a narcoleptic rugby player to get to the grand prize of a chance to quietly blow Luke under the blankets when his housemates could walk in at any second (or provide off-the-cuff commentary on Brokeback Mountain, as it happens). There’s also a dream CG at the end featuring yet more sports roleplay sex, as if Brad’s route didn’t offer enough of that. My favorite part though is Luke complaining about American bars not serving alcohol past 2 AM, as I agree with him that it is utterly barbaric.

Cesar

As should be apparent, this is the one with cop sex. Mark gets caught up in a drug sting, and depending on how the player feels about Ian’s suggestion of bringing along ranch dressing (or rather, ranch dressing mix) to the supposed siesta the specific type of cop sex will either be a fairly standard round of Mark bottoming or one of the only finger-fucking sessions in the game. Either way Mark will be resisting arrest as well as sexually harassing a police officer following what was very obviously a setup targeting cruising gay men, but because this is an erotic dating sim and every man in it wants Mark’s ass let’s all withhold our reservations regarding the ethical ramifications of this entire scenario. I have no trouble doing so, although that’s mostly because cop sex does nothing for me.

Terry

Well, color me surprised - if not terribly aroused - because at long last we have a twink. There seems to be a thinly-veiled pop culture reference here, to something like a younger Justin Bieber or one of those guys from One Direction, but as wild as this date ends up going I find it hangs together rather well even without working as an allusion to any specific celebrity. Mark finds himself billed as the winner of a date with a pop star, and hilarity ensues as he encounters screaming fangirls, a creepy stalker trying to get locks of Terry’s hair, and a karaoke contest in a dive bar where New Orleans gets name-dropped because this city is mentioned in so many songs and where Mark “rocks the hell out of” Schubert’s Ave Maria, somehow. The sex itself is a novelty, with the choice coming down to either Mark giving a rimjob while Terry performs autofellatio or Mark pounding some twink ass. A post-coital hair snipping for the stalker is optional.

Donovan

This man has some hang-ups, and I still can’t decide whether they’re hot or not. At first pass this date is a bite-sized deconstruction of what Dream Daddy could have been had it been interested in actually examining the kinds of relationships it claims to center around - Donovan is a literal father, divorced and new to the dating scene and clearly uncomfortable with many aspects of it up to and including the very sexualized concept of gay daddies. His attempts at flirting and blending in at a gay bar are awkwardly endearing, but as I suggested with Alex I think CooT wants to have it both ways by having Donovan opine about being treated like a daddy...when he looks the way he does and while he’s buying drinks for a guy more than ten years his junior. Even his attempt at more authentically bonding with Mark via an impromptu woodworking tutorial quickly pivots into innuendo and heavier flirting leading up to the inevitable sex scene (although the player should note that in order to get said sex scene you’ll have to know a little about what Donovan is teaching Mark as well as allow him to step away for a heart-to-heart with his teenage son). What follows is shower sex where Mark tops his bull of a date - so if you’re into big hairy bottoms and didn’t get enough from some of Amos’s options this is your story.

Oz and Pete

No Grindr analogue would be complete without a partnered relationship looking for one more, and in truth this date earns some major points for realistically capturing the mix of awkwardness and sensual chaos that comes from jumping in bed with an established couple. This includes crossed wires on who’s using the shared profile, a bit of informal relationship counseling, and the messy but inevitably uneven bonding Mark does with either Oz or Pete. There are two successful paths to this date according to which of them Mark spends more time with at the bar, with each of them building up to a particular type of fetish sex that the two of them haven’t discussed with one another until now. For Oz (on the left) that’s double penetration, while for Pete it’s cuckoldry with some bonus rimming and felching in the scene itself. This is admittedly one of the more physically demanding scenarios Mark can find himself in, especially if he favors Oz, but as I said it’s handled with a surprising amount of realism. Plus there’s a comment before the date that sort of handwaves Mark’s pre-sex stretching that goes along with an utterly ridiculous (mental) image, so I’ll let it slide.

Theo

This one is interesting, to say the least. Mark is paid to pose as Theo’s fiancé at his ten year high school reunion, as part of a ploy to show off how successful Theo has become and rub his former bullies’ noses in it. In addition to the usual wacky humor - and cameos from both Penny and Ian - this is a story with a fair bit of heart to it depending on how Mark deals with the situation. He can either play the perfect partner and earn Theo the recognition he craves...or he can go as absurd and over-the-top as possible but don’t try rickrolling the bullies because that’s a step too far, making a spectacle of himself and teaching Theo a valuable lesson about not caring about the opinions of the people who used to mock him. Provided the date’s a success in one form or another Theo will proffer the above Dom/sub scenario, and Mark can respond either by agreeing to be a sub (either in the comparatively vanilla sense if he was sensible at the reunion or as a pup if he went overboard with it) or by flipping the script and making Theo his sub for the evening. They could have done a lot more with the pup play considering it’s just the sub version with a collar and canine sound effects, but there’s already more logical bang for your buck going on in this date than in around half of the others.

Hugh and Jesse

This is...I can’t even....

Okay, whatever. It’s the last one. It’s not a date, properly speaking, but is accessed if Mark chooses to play with himself on the Brofinder menu. He gets high off some incredibly dubious weed given to him by Ian and proceeds to get intimately acquainted with his goldfish Slurpy in what is CooT’s second-heaviest icthyophilic moment (Google for #1, I already said back in Part 1 I’m not going there). If he calls for an ambulance he’ll be taken under the care of a pair of twin EMTs who make up for what they lack in professionalism with the kind of zany determination you’d expect with a setup like this. At that point it’s the player’s choice of a spit roast or a combo blowjob and rimjob. Adding to the overall disorienting effect of this “date” is the game experimenting with perspective and its visual assets in ways rarely seen elsewhere and that honestly don’t work very well. There’s only so much you can do with such, ahem, stiff portraits.

#Coming Out on Top

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stone-man-warrior · 3 years

Text

-January 10, 2021: 3:22 pm:

These control features are not what I have been accustomed to seeing here for posting a new post here on Tumblr, and, these colorful icons are not present when I do an edit of an existing post here on Tumblr. There are fewer controls for an edit, and the controls are grey in color, not rainbow color spectrum. The zoom needs to be set at 130% in order to make a new post here on Tumblr, any other zoom setting brings up a different screen where no text can be entered.

With this variety of Tumblr text box, the use of "Ctrl + v" for pasting a screen shot is not possible, I must navigate to the "screenshots" folder in my computer to find the screenshot I just now captured.

That navagation to the "screenshots" folder is not necessary when I do an edit of an existing Tumblr post, when edditing an existing post, I am able to simply use "Ctrl + v" to paste the last screenshot that was captured.

The Centurylink/Google/Tumblr internet terror consortium is using the fact that I can either paste, or must navigate to the "screenshots" folder in some way to frame or set me up as having posted child pornography. The child pornography that is being shown to the federal agents is on a computer that is almost identical the one I use, however, the porn computer is a 15' model, mine is bigger. That computer is sometimes in posession of Lorena Chapman, but the actual pornography of the children is from Myers at 560 Jackpine, is real porography images of children taken at the 560 address. in a barn/shed in the backyard there, and at other places that are not far away from 560 Jackpine, and the Lorena Chapman/Micheal Brassil terror cell at 3701 Russell Road.

It's another example of how Federal Fools who refuse to do their own research are being jacked around by the local authorities who use Myers to do the actual terror in the background, while Lorena Chapman provides the pretty face up front, to please the Federal Fools.

==============

So I post that by pressing a button marked “Post now”.

==============

Then, I come back a few minutes later to edit that post I just created. This part below is all “edited”, is just adding more to the post, after posting the titled new post of the day, or, any new post. You can post, then come back to “edit” and add more detail, and repair the changes that are put there by the Centurylink/Google/Tumblr terror consortium. They make small spelling changes, contextual punctuation changes, and addition and subtraction of a few select words, nothing very substantial is changed by the terror consortium, but every detail does make a difference, and the information is sensitive, lives and national security are dependent on the accuracy of what is written and how it is interpreted by those who may wish to use the information to save lives and preserve Freedom and nation. Every time I make a correction edit, another thing is changed such that I could end up spending an entire day just going around in circles to make the spelling and contextual punctuation repairs. That, and now the after doing this edit, the button to post it only says: “Save”.

3:50 pm:

There are the controls the way I have been accustomed to seeing them, in grey, with fewer controls.

And that photo and the one above was posted simply with use of “Ctrl + v” to paste the latest of the screenshots I took, while the others with the colorful control icons required that I had to navigate to the “screenshots” folder, with use of that little colorful camera icon control feature.

=====================

I want to talk about how that VKA promotional email is saying something about the Ronald Reagan Library.

But first, I am going to push the “Save” button, then do an edit on this part of today’s 1-10-2021 entry where I only needed to go open the email, take a screenshot w/ “windows key + Prt Sc”, then come over here to the opened Tumblr post edit screen tab I have opened, to use the “Ctrl + v” to past the screenshot of the VKA email. Then, I just go back to the email, scroll the screen, take another screenshot with use of “windows key + Prt Sc” to take another screenshot, then, come back over here to the Tumblr edit post tab I have open and am working on to try to get some help, and use “Ctr + v” to paste that other screenshot, then, I go back to the email tab. scroll the screen, take another screenshot.... ect.

Ok?

Pretty soon, I will have talked about how that VKA email says something about the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, it could be a matter of life or death in the email, but there is no one watching the baby, so, no one cares about VKA or why they are using coded language to say stuff about Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, or, are interested in making this connection secure, or, interested in any of the efforts of the terror army who are finding many different ways to make the report about the VKA email very difficult to do.

I can do alternate zoom though with “edit”, is not available with “new post”:

Ctrl + v:

=============

4:44 pm:

On second thought, fuck it.

I am not going to do any more than say that there is enough there to say:

“All Terrain Cycle” and “Red Dirt” or “Red Earth”. Then “Tierra Rejada” comes up on Decoder Ring RADAR. After that, the notion that the people who are in charge at VKA are old enough, and are familiar with conditions that existed in Moore Park area in 1970 and thereabout, are knowledgeable about a killing field that existed there at that time called “Indian Hills”, a motorcycle riding area, w/rental and repairs available there at the time. That motorcycle area is not to be confused with the race track that was at Hope Town, that is a different killing field from the 1960′s, not 1970′s like VKA is referencing.

So, if you want more than that, you are going to have to send some help to Oregon. I have absolutely no help, and the only weapon I have for defense is a fingernail clipper, some reading glasses that don’t work very well, and Bic Lighter.

Please send help.

If the bastards explode the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library, there will be a lot of terror associated evidence destroyed as a result, and, at least one big ass jet airplane will also be destroyed at the RRPL. Even the building and the construction methods there are terror evidence.

Send help, learn more.

1-10-2021: 4:58 pm.

===============

5:13 pm:

Other global considerations:

First this:

Brand new blue jeans come torn up, with holes in them, is “The Style”, costs extra for someone else to wear out your jeans before you buy them.

Brand new guitars can be purchased with “Road Worn” dings, scratches, all banged up, costs extra for someone else to use up your guitar before you buy it, it’s “The Signature Model” and is a perfect copy of some asshole’s guitar as it looked on a particular day... upgrades to the “Road Worn“ authenticity come from two directions, as the famous asshole puts more dings and scratches over time, and, as you put more dings and scratched on the one you bought. Those won‘t match up, spoils the authenticity of the “Road Worn” signature model.

===

“Gnosis” = G + no + sis....

“Gene Osis”. A disease. Corona Virus. Gene Osis. Geneosis: A disease that kills your whole family, is not a health condition, is a Road Worn Signature Model w/Gig Bag.

Great Gig in the Sky, comes by parachute w/Axe.

Those jeans that are pre worn out and cost extra, are the slave children at the denim factory trying to get some help, they invented that stupid idea, but no one is watching the baby, so, it just costs extra, and no one is helping the slave children at the denim factory.

Don’t be too surprised when you learn that all of those worn out jeans are faithful recreations of the pants that were worn by the victims at the time they were taken captive, each pair of worn out jeans then was crafted, so that it would represent the way the victim looked on that day, and, people line up at the store to buy those, worn out slave “Signature Model” jeans, to help finance the Pope and his terror army to continue to take victims. Each pair of worn out jeans comes with a name, Cindy, Roberta, Michelle, Audry, Linda, Lean, Valerie... so, go ahead and support the Pope and his Textile company.

It must be perfect.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTsw5lqzBbk

youtube

The cover is not a photo op on a publication, it’s finding ways to cover up the mass murders, and, prophet from the cover at the same time, while doing more mass murder. Worn out jeans bought new, is a cover operation for mass murder.

======================

5:58 pm:

It goes farther, deeper into the Russian Mother of all Hoaxes.

The Christian way, is the way of the Bible, the way it’s written, subject matter, the deity, the anti-deity, the Dark vs Light... it’s deep.

On the surface, the pirates clean themselves up, make themselves look innocent, and are “The meek who inherit the Earth” that way. While in Darkness is the other side of the coin, the Lucifer end of the whole spectrum that is the terror pirate ship of Christianity. You cannot accept God, without also going for a ride with the Devil, they are both part of the same story, one come with the other, and there is no way around that, unless you are not Christian.

The Great Gig in the Sky is an instrumental tune by Pink Floyd.

The Text, for today’s entry considerations, is the denim signature model of pre-worn jeans, each with a name, each represents the face of the victim who was wearing the recreated Signature Model Jeans at the time they were killed, or, when captured and taken prisoner as a slave at the various Text facilities.

So, the terror army landed in California first, they came from Canada aboard USPS DC 9 postal air mail aircraft in the 1970′s, in tandem, two per parachute, at a time after the Winchell’s Doughnuts had been installed by the Windsors of Winston Churchill in Los Angeles, and by the time those airplanes dropped all of those many thousands of Canadian terror soldiers in Los Angeles County, all of the police has already been killed and replaced with Screen Actor Guild actors, fake police. If not all of them, then at least Rampart and Hollywood, and West Valley precinct had already been swapped out, sacked, manned with terror soldier commanders from SAG.

Terror uses the California Penal Code after that as a communication reference tool. Terror soldiers are educated about the penal code. Meanwhile, the general public of citizen victims is brainwashed with fake police codes from Adam 12 TV show. They call to report crimes, murder, rape, but only know the Adam 12 variety of codes, are marked for take-out for having watched the TV show that set them up with special bullshit language to use if they are having trouble conveying what the witnessed.

The paratroopers are all over the place in The Valley, blending in as they select victims to murder and replace.

Those people are “The Axe men“, they show up and do a kill. They need to report to the terror police... it’s 5:00 am, or, 5:00 pm. A basketball game with 5 minutes on the clock, each team has a 100 points to start with, the result is the same as if the game was full length.

The basketball game w/5 minutes is secret terror knowledge, everyone calls me a fool for saying it, but the fools are those who are not paying attention, won’t help me to say secret terror knowledge, and only make it more difficult for me to help to save their lives.

Then, at 5:00, the terror soldier is there to take the victim.

That happens.

It’s 5:01. The terror soldier who made the murder hit has Pants now, Levi’s 501 Button Fly Denim.

Those are magic words. The 501 Button Fly is an identifier for who he is at the next part of this basketball game.

The terror soldier just goes driving around in the area where the SAG Police are on patrol, swerves a bit where the cop will see, gets pulled, over.

It’s 502 on the penal code now. Game over.

The terror soldier at that point in 1970 has just gained an ID, and some pants, car and keys to the victims home, and has reported to Rampart while on a routine traffic stop. Rampart does some magic at the precinct to solidify that the terror soldier is the victim the was killed at the basketball game w/5 minutes on the clock that leads to the 502 at the consecrations stand for a cool one at half time.

The fools are the people who are reading this, and are in charge of national security and protection of all of the US Citizens, but refuse to do their jobs because they are too fucking stupid to understand what I just explained for them.

So the explanation appears to have the “cool one at the concessions stand” after the game was over by two minutes, but it’s terror math, so, it’s “half time”, and “game over” at the same time, all of the time, so that the game can perpetuate forever.... in a game that is really a ten-minute game, but only five are accounted for. The 501 keeps on going, with new Levi’s (LE Vice) after the 502, to put another five minutes on the clock and do it all over again tomorrow, to start over at 5:00 after work.

“I went today, maybe I will go again tomorrow” ~Edge of Seventeen.

This goes on eternally with other Russian Fractal View iterations of the same ideas presented and carried out similar to the basketball game analogy, but I am not just making this up as I go along, that is real Christian terror shell language that is like the Energizer Bunny, has a battery, big ears, and a drum... on attack with Vatican Power.

To learn more about “cover of the rolling stone” and how it applies to Levi’s 501 Denim then take the Way Back Machine to 1970′s Levi Strauss & Company to see when exactly the company was hijacked by the Pope. There is a time when Levi’s began to sell 501 Denim in many colors, not just blue jeans. They came in “Technicolor” at a particular time in the 1970′s for a short time. That is when SAG took over at Levi’s under direction of The Pope.

Then you fast forward your Way Back Machine w/Fractal Viewer Attachment to a place when David Letterman showed up at the Tonight Show with World Wide Pants and Big Ass Pork Products. That is exactly the same as the 502 on the freeway near Rampart.

Real Police = Officers

SAG Fake Police = Pigs

That too, is real terror terminology. Only a terror soldier can survive that kind of COVID Test. Terror soldiers with a vocabulary of magic words, such as “Pig” in the presence of a uniformed police officer who is really a SAG police, can say “You’re a Pig” to the fake cop. That and some other magic words identifies that the person using the terminology is part of he terror army, in the 1970′s and 1980′s. If a non terror soldier tries to say “you’re a pig” to the same cop, that is going to work out bad for that person who does not have the complete other body language or magic words that go with the statement, while the terror soldier is able to continuously say “Pig, pig... ♪ ♫ Pigs in a blanket, fry ‘em like bacon ♪ ♫“ at a demonstration presented on nbc news on Twitter. That way, everyone in the global viewing audience knows what is really going on, provided they went to terror communication school at church. Everyone else is baffled, can‘t figure out WTF is happening there.

Then you take your Secret Decoder Ring Rig over to Oregon in 1998, maybe before that, to Circle K convenience stores where the very best coffee is there, and a side door always open. The term “Circle Jerk” is the same in Oregon as is the term “Pig” in Los Angeles. It’s an iteration of the Russian Hoax Fractal w/geographically identifiable components that can be used when remote attacking and terror conventions are taking place, to introduce who is who in crowd, in a way that says from where each terror soldiers are from, without revealing any other thing while doing so, and speaking with strangers to see who among a group is part of the same team. Such places include SXSW convention, and the NAMM music industry convention.

Real Police = Officers

SAG Fake Police = Pig = Jerk = Royal Canadian Mounted Police and/or SAG actors.

“Pig” seems as a nation wide term. “Jerk” or “Circle Jerk” seems as a Oregon specific term, could be Josephine County Oregon specification terminology useful for making contact about Royal Canadian Mounted Police and/or SAG actors imposter police.

This subject is difficult to obtain specifics about, so, that much I have survived gaining the information. To get more, send some help to Oregon, I will get more information about Jerks and Circle Jerks terror comm.

=====

1-11-2021: 5:00 pm: extended information:

The fake police are Hollywood actors. In Hollywood, we are told that someone who is over-acting, is a “Ham”. In terror, the leadership consider themselves as “Overlords”. To, a SAG fake cop, is over-acting, is a Ham, plays role of uniformed overlord. That, I believe is the unwritten history of the term “Pig” when associated to a cop. Further looking at the matter, is about pride of ownership of the “Pig” label among the terror fake police, they play role of overlord, are backed at the high levels, are untouchable, they control the activities of the terror soldiers, so, there is some Pig Pride among them because of the power they posses. A pig is a animal found in a jungle as Wild Boar, and on the farm in the mud rolling around while waiting to be a Ham, pork chops, sausage, and is sold as a commodity at Wall Street as Pork Bellies. So, the pride is in the notion that the Pigs all know that their jobs are that of a protected and subsidized Dirty Cop, again, a Pig. I am sure there is a Hog in the lore also, but I don’t have information about Hog Pride, only Hog Tied comes to mind. Bay of Pigs, at high tide, or low tide, or “Astronomical High Tide”, then, a star is born at the Bay of Pigs.

Comes w/guilded binding on a US Flag, to make Hi-Jack.

You can get some “Jesus was a Carpenter” out of the notion that a SAG police Hollywood Rampart Division Union Card Holder, is a Pig, by putting an Auger Bit onto a Milwaukee Hole Hog drill motor. The Carpenter uses those for Plating, and Post & Beam work where bolts and saddles are required. That gets into the Ibuprofen Union at the same time, kills two birds with one stone that way. The IBEW, International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers (the people who installed all of our electrical outlets upside down) use the Milwaukee Hole Hog w/Auger Bit, as their primary tool for installing wire on the jobsite. The Carpenter and the Electrician both have the same Hole Hog in common. Power Company Linemen also use an Auger while working in the field, oddly, the Linemen use a gas powered internal combustion equivalent to the Milwaukee Hole Hog w/Auger bit, but that will never produce an “Ohh Geee! That looks so pretty the way that hole worked out right there” like the Carpenter can do. Carpenter uses OG grade bits when drilling holes.

You can go into the Russian Mother Hoax there too, one place is the Hollywood presentation of the “Irish Cop” as a command language from long ago. Hollywood inserts a lot of special scenes and jargon into the movies they produce, so, “The Irish Cop” (eg: Officer O’Malley, Officer O”Hair” and such Irish names we learned about by watching movies). “The Irish Cop” I am pretty sure is about Winchell’s Doughnuts, and that is connected to a Puppet Show for children called “Winchell Mahoney Time” from the 1960′s. There was a barn featured in “Winchell Mahoney Time”, and the actual barn they used was at the bottom of the 118 Ronald Reagan Freeway at Kuener Drive, about one and a half miles from Hope Town, and just across Simi Valley from Rocketdyne. (this goes on forever into the Russian Mother Hoax from there, stops by for a visit at Spawn Ranch)

Bonus actual factual info and truth may be obtained at place that was called “The Card House” by locals of Simi Valley in the 1960′s and 1970′s. It looked like a residence on the top of a pointy hill visible from Santa Susana Pass, and the freeway. Going north on the freeway, at the crest of where Simi Valley is, to the left is the “Card House”. There was just one house, and only room for that one house on that pointy hill. There was something special about it, I was only about 6 years old when the talk of that Card House was a subject of the adults at the time. Maybe some interested people can find some history there at that Card House on the pointy hill above Simi Knolls.

=====

The “Jerks” of A Street Circle K terror police HQ are “Mimes”. When on attack, after regular work day, they wear black leotard, with white gloves. They do not speak when in Mime Mode. The white gloves serve as their vocabulary, can speak to one another with hand gestures in the night from shadows where they hide while on attack. Again, this is difficult information to obtain, please send help.

Those guys who were in the Bekins Cross Town Movers truck yesterday were Jerks, or extension thugs who work under Jerk command out of A Street Circle K. They had all of the necessary markings and identifiers, and, the truck graphics decode to “Beacon Ave. Department of Motor Vehicles” as I already mentioned. The body they were carrying was also in black at the time they loaded it into the Bekins truck.

Associated to all of the Christian terror army at the high levels is “The Ell” and is easily overlooked and forgotten about. “The Ell” is the slice made on a mechanical or geometric drawing of the section of an object.

The Ell is the cut. The Ell is the swing of the sword at a given angle of attack.

Is important not to forget that one, I always forget about The Ell when I do decoding, so, others who check my work should know that I always forget about that there is “The Ell” to put into the comm sometimes.

The Ell is the reason that Santa Clause has Elves.

In that Fleetwood Mac Edge of Seventeen Official Video Version available at the Stevie Nicks You Tube account, you can see an example of communication done with the Ell of a Cone on a vertical decent at the outer skirt of the wide part of a cone when struck and slices off with the Ell of a sword.

The guitar player is wearing a blue shirt, on the back of the shirt, it’s torn, the shape of the tear is that of the slice made as described, vertically on decent on the skirt wide part of a cone, is sliced off of his shirt.

That is shirt and it’s conically modified Ell reveal, is what I spoke to Stevie Nicks about at a time before the concert took place. She had come to my home, with those Guitar makers and and other musicians at a time when me and my family was held captive in around 1998-2002-ish. We also talked about “The Chicken Dance”. and I remember requesting that she kick one leg as high as is possible for her to do onstage, and she did so, one time, as the Ell of the cut on the guitar players shirt at that performance.

The driver of the Bekins Cross Town Movers truck yesterday looked a lot like Stephen Bell who does not seem to live across the street at 445 Jackpine anymore as of about three weeks or so ago. The driver seemed too light to be Stephen Bell, who is about 50 to 75 pound heavier than the man I saw who was driving the Bekins truck. Also, the Bekins truck can be assicated to JP Morgan Chase Bank Aerial Assault Division at the 7Th and Morgan St. Branch. Those details are far too difficult to specify here. It just is both DMV and JP Morgan Chase Bank Aerial Assault Division of the bank, they have a terror air force presence among the Air Support Terror Air Force that is HQ’d at 535 Jackpine, and in close association to United States Postal Service nation wide terror cell called “The Stork”.

The terror bastards are using the poison that makes my vision poor right now, I am having a great deal of trouble seeing the page, so, send help, to learn more.

There is a man who works at the Fred Meyer Electronics Department, maybe other departments there at the Grants Pass Fred Meyer store that is directly across the street from the Grants Pass DMV on Beacon Ave. who fits the description of the man who was driving the Cross Town Movers Bekins truck yesterday. The man is the same description I would give for Stephen Bell except Stephen Bell is about 50 to 75 pounds heavier than is the Fred Meyer terror associate. I also saw someone from the Juseph Myers terror cell of 560 Jackpine drive passed my driveway while the dead bodies were being loaded into the Bekins Cross Town Truck. The Myers Family terror cell has a close relationship with Fred Meyers Department Store, and Kyle Myers who lived at 560 for many years works as a grocery checker there at Fred Meyers Department Store, is Lieutenant Rank or higher among the terror army. Kyle Myers is hard core terror, is white mail, albino, white hair, white gotee beard, about 55 years old, 6′1″, about 240 pounds, is Juseph Myers brother, both are albino, Kyle has a unfinished tattoo on his right calf that is a Victorian Corset, has some stripes, is not easy to see that it is a Victorian Corset.

I suspect the driver of the Bekins Movers Cross Town Truck is closely associated to the Myers family terror cell at 560 Jackpine.

There is someone who stays at Myers family cell for extended time on occasion, is the head pharmacist at the Fred Meyer Pharmacy, a female, about 65 years old, has shoulder length grey hair, about 5′4″ about 175 pounds wears white coat, has reading glasses always at the end of her nose, with chain around the neck to hold them on.

The Myers family terror cell is the most scary, the most terrifying people on Earth. They are not the most physically aggressive, they are not the meanest looking, they are not the most outwardly offensive, but indeed they are the most terrifying people on the planet, hands down, there are no others who even come close to the Myers family terror cell when the subject is how scary, terrifying a terror cell can be. You have to know that they select victims to kill based on the skin color and amount of clarity the victims skin possesses, any markings. scars, or moles, skin discoloration is worth less on the Myers family grading scale of skin characteristics, where pasty white is most valuable if there are no blemishes. The Myers remove the skin of their kidnapped victims, while the victims are alive, they “tan“ the skin, and create costumes from human skin that others wear as disguise for terror attack. They call those “Fat Suits”, are sewn with double stitching from a Serger sewing machine. The Myers work closely with Ray’s Food Place also, at Merlin Galice Road, and Monument Dr. where Christopher Mecca’s wife is a Lieutenant grocery checker rank soldier, her name is Kelly Mecca. the Mecca’s live in the house where the Church Pastor is supposed to live at the Grants Pass Community Church on Russell Road just behind the house where the Myers family terror cell is at 560 Jackpine, and Christopher Mecca is the terror attorney who lives in the pastors house while crafting up all of the necessary legal documents for the local “Ye Olde English 800″ terror family cells, and the imposter local authorities to use at the County Courthouse where the Chapman/Brassil terror family cell is among the terror leadership there.

Driver of Bekins Cross Town Movers = Fred Meyer Electronic Department terror associate. Best Guess.

================

9:35 pm:

Centurylink/Google terror internet consortium is using the Vaio Care software to install or remove, or both, items to and/from my computer just now. They continue to turn off my number pad today, throughout the day.

That, and my vision is very poor right now. The Monroe terror cell still has the black nissan Quest van from A-1 Exterminators of 7th St. there the last time I drove by, I think it was there yesterday, is full of many different kinds of poisons. the poison me and park the A-1 Exterminator van so that I know exactly that I a being poisoned, because there are no police that I could call to stop them from using the poisons. My leg rash I put photos of is worsening, and the burning is internal, is from the Monroe and Chapman and Myers terror cells. They have access to many kinds of poisons, and that is the reason there are no more small forest animals here anymore, and very few small birds. Only a few deer remain and I have not even seen any turkeys around for a few weeks, just a few wild turkeys are around. Today the terror cells are releasing a gas that blurs the vision of those exposed to it.

=======================

10:30 pm:

Local update:

There was nothing in the mailbox.

A walk out there revealed some highly unusual conditions at Strong’s terror cell, a “SAG House” at 3747 Russell Road where there has been a television turned on and visible through the woods from about 800 feet away for the past ten years or more non stop, was not visible. That is huge news for someone, somewhere, to me, it’s very unusual, has never happened before in ten years or so the the TV is not visible at Strongs terror cell.

The electric water pump at Monroe’s continues to sound a fake water pump noise, is high pitch whine, is “Turn Water into Wine” Myers style Christian terror reminder that the phrase “He Turns Water into Wine” is a statement made by the Christian terror cult for saying that when Jesus is tacked onto the mast of the Christian pirate ship, and the church goers all realize that they have been fooled by the Vatican for two thousand years, that they all begin the cry for help, are considered as Water on the high See’s, at the Church, and the are indeed the platform on which the Christian pirated ship is floated under the power made possible by nailing new church members to the mast of the ship to propell the thing along in it’s search for Power, Land, Riches, and Slaves all with use of the wind, all that is used to gain all of the spoils of the pirating is all conjured up out of the air, they have absolutely nothing personally invested in the takeover of the world towards Global Domination Under the Cross.

nothing.

They take, by using the victims they kill to provide everything necessary for the global takeover.

Wind drives the pirate ship, based on lies, all stacked up in layers, with the new coming church goers, given one chance to accept “Jesus”, to accept “God”. Those who refuse to become a Christian Pirate, are nailed to the mast along with Jesus, and some wind is applied to propel the boat forward. Some are a fixed to the front of the boat, to part the see ahead of the ship, that statue of the hot chick on the bow, is a slave girl all bent over, ready to serve the desires of the Christian scalawags who crew the ship.

Lies, and wind, blame, and more lies, is the Christian way, for more than 2,000 years... people all over the world have believed a fairy tale about an all knowing invisible man in the sky, when the real all knowing one is the church pastor who spies on them in every way possible.The information gained is used to convince the fools who go to church that their private information must have been provided to the church by God. There is no other way the church could have so much personal knowledge about everyone, right?

That “Water into Wine” well pump at Monroe’s is just a speaker that plays an unpleasant sound, and begins as I am stepping in that direction when I go for a walk outside. It’s laud, the sound is a signal to others who are waiting out there for a chance to shoot a cross bow at me. Tonight as the thing began to spin, as it sounds like the Tazmanian Devil cartoon noise, that sound carries on the wind, a long way, others are signaled that I am on my way to the mailbox with that sound. Someone from the Clyde Baum terror cell began to make owl noises to the south about at Dietricks at 601 immediately as the wine began to spin, then owl sound moved towards the church, not far from Dietricks.

Whoooo whooo whoooo

That.

So, at the corner are 5 trash cans, they are not in a order of layout that I can read. 598 is between Deitricks, looks bad for 598. Freeberg is presenting a small black trash can, they usually present two small ones, dark and light colors. I don‘t recall the color combination of the others right now.

Freeberg turned off their holiday house decorative lighting as of tonight. They were the last ones to have holiday lighting that I can see from where I walk.

Chartrand’s house at the far back of the property is presenting conditions that are more like a normal condition, pre-takeover after Chartrand’s terror family members were all killed in defense a coupe of months ago. It took about 6 years to defend agains all of the Chartrand’s family cell members. but other “Ye Olde English 800 Green Jello” terror members and Google terror cell keeps sending others to occupy the Chartrand’s terror cell house at 376.

520 Jackpine is all dark. Only one light on, the one I can see as I step out onto my front porch, otherwise 520 is very dark, no other lighting.

Myers terror cell at 560 is all lit up inside the house. “Every light in the house on” conditions are at Myers terror cell. That means they are out on attack with the Clyde Baum members who are doing the Owl noises.

All is dark at former Bell terror cell at 445.

There was one screech sort of scream sound that came from the direction of Bell’s or from Phillips at 507 as I was on my driveway, was brief, was not the Clyde Baum style owl I am referring to.

no other sounds were noted. There was no indication of any traffic on the Freeway or local streets that I could hear.

I could see where someone had been hiding at the corner of my storage trailer behind a mattress that is leaning up there against the trailer, that mattress was moved around, someone pushed it to make room to hide there behind it.

There was a sweet flowery scent of lilac at the place where the big ass corona tree is still laying in my driveway on the return walk. It was not laundry soap, the scent of fresh lilac flowers was there. That is very unusual to smell that in January at night, at 36 degrees outside.

Upon return to my front walk way, there was a cloud of fog hovering over my front walk way, about 30 feet wide and twenty feet tall ball of fog only right there at my front walk way. I waited for that to dissipate before coming into the house.

That’s all.

=========

11:50 pm:

Absence of the Norton Life Lock pop-up windows is notable for both having gone outside and returned, then having made some food, and turned on my upstairs light without the pop-up windows occurring.

===========

11:57 pm:

Global terror considerations:

MAGA:

There is a story that is told in Church circles about the first sound that a human baby makes is “Ga” as the baby takes it’s first breath. That story is the reason why Lady GaGa is Lady GaGa.

“MAGA” could be translated with that story as “Mother & Child” as Trump instructed the sleeping giant under his command, that he is about to apply Alpha Breast conditions to the terror monster that he commands, separately from the SAG Democrat/Republican conglomeration. There is only one political party, SAG plays role of both perceived political parties, Republican and Democrat. It has become very appearance that SAG did not take into account that there could be a Pope Benedict faction in opposition to the SAG/Britain/Vatican arrangement and has been secretly undermining the SAG party for decades.

The MAGA seems as “Mother & Child” statement, turns the word “Breast” into verb, “To Breast” with the idea: “How shall I breast thee, let me count the ways” and a commencement of feeding one terror army while starving the other one, was underway as Trump took office and drained the Federal Reserve and US Treasury, again, his way this time, not the SAG Ronald Reagan way. Trump in league with Britain/Vatican in differing ways than Britain/Vatican/SAG arrangement, where the Corona Virus looks as though that was a SAG pre-planned event, while the COVID 19 is the Trump adaptation sequel of the same prearranged screen play, German style, with Pope Benedict/German backing, rather than British/Bergoglio fake SAG Google Pope backing.

Further fuckery of freedom includes that Boris Johnson seems to be on the Trump/German team, while this other fellow Rishi Sunac (Rushy Goldstien) seems as a Prize Fighter sent in to face the Big Johnson to learn more about him and why everything is so fucked up all over the place, and is doing so for the Google Bergoglio (SAG) camp in the Parliament and House of Lords.

youtube

For the true freedom warriors out there, see if you can find something in this set of alpha-numeric sequence that fits into the innaugaration of Biden on January 20, 2021:

3K80320

My read is:

“Three Kings; One Dead Bitch; House of Lords; One Russian Whore”

It’s personal.

I don’t see a way to make connection to January 20, 2021.

I need help to find a definite date to make association to the set of alpha-numeric sequence 3K80320.

We have to make a note, that there is no January. The year needs to be divided by ten (10) to then distribute the days, 365 of them, each with about 36 days, and a start date in the month of March, not January.

Perhaps alternating current is helpful here. So, each of ten months would alternate as 35 days, with the odd numbered months having 36 days, or vice-verse, with room for a Leap Month somewhere in the mix.

That still starts at the 20th, no matter how you slice the pie. March 20, 2021, two Wednesdays from now.

===

Complicated Terror Math starts here:

===

3K80320

Begins in January on the current calendar, makes reference to 3K80320 in an alternate calendar that starts in March, [ends on the 20th].

(The Alternate March Calendar is the “Real Calendar”, the one we are using currently is part of the Russian Mother of all Hoaxes, is a fake calendar, and might be the lie that Marcus told to frame Jesus that fateful day, 2021 years ago, when someone stole Jesus’ date book, and Marcus tossed two Blood Moons into the mix, for confusion service, all so that Marcus could run off with Jesus’ Ol’ Lady)

Inaugurate: Add MAGA: It’s January 20, 2017 at that moment out front.

============================

Author’s note: 1-11-2021: 1:01 pm:

Reality is it’s Super Bowl Sunday, in around 2008, details are sketchy, Time Warp Terror begins; Beta Twitter is rolled out to a select group of SAG Members. Lady Gaga is at the Pepsi Half Time Show, drops in from the roof, thousands of fans are murdered in the stands, all is viewable on the live broadcast, no one sees the murders, as Lady GaGa performs on stage.

============================

Presidential Pep Rally: The record will indicate that Lady GaGa Half Time Super Bowl Pepsi Show was February 5th, 2017.

“Mother & Child Reunion” = Lady GaGa at Super Bowl = Birth of Baby Trump.

3/20 (is January 20 in current calendar; March = January; It’s a lay-over flight, tuck that date away)

Hijack US Treasury (Ga-1) & US Federal Reserve (Ga-2), to make Alpha Breasts

===============

K8032 is between. (Covfefe happens, K8032 is in the Irony position)

===============

There is a Russian Whore at the center, the “0″. (Airplane Vodka)

K8 0 32 (step the fuck back, have a look at the ship)

O “You gotta keep ‘em separated” (Make like a brazier, lift & separate; It’s made by ACME Tool & Die, three hasps made of iron)

Add Pope Power and some Drugs: Dr. Suess, Cat in the Hat. Featuring Thing 1 and Thing 2 as Pope Bergoglio; Donald Trump; Boris Johnson.

“You gotta keep ‘em separated” (Make like a brazier, lift & separate; It’s made by ACME Tool & Die, three hasps made of iron) O

I/O: Johnson brings a off/on button, unlocks Pandora’s Box remotely.

K8 Russian-Whore 32 (K8 changes to K + 8 here {you have to bring your own Sword, it’s personal here, sword not included, not available in stores})

Conspiracy of One ~The Offspring have arrived. (Borrow a bra from Dolly Parton, One SAG Brazier for cover, contains the two Alpha Breasts: Name the Babies: “Treasury & Reserve”, this is no Turkey, bring hand trucks for parting of the ways, with means)

118 = Alpha numeric K + 8 = 19 (Ronald Reagan 118 Freeway, A Celebratory Parade; Steal the airplane from inside Ronald Reagan Presidential Library)

19 Russian-Whore 32 (Do Math: Sum 11 + 8; put the whore back in bed; 32 means Jesus was still alive at the time of the crime)

COVID Russian-Whore 32 (modernize the Airplane w/Moderna [Aerial Assault happens here])

COVID Russian-Whore 5 (You are President of USA: Jesus’ head comes off here with COVID, they crown him w/thorns & roses [that’s US Citizens by the way]; you are lying around with the Alpha Breasts’; Take the fifth)

COVID Russian-Whore Thunderbird’s (Relax: That new calendar is good for a puppet show on TV, check TV Guide, see what’s on)

COVID Lie Thunderbird’s (nothing but puppets and lying whores on TV)

3K80320 = COVID Lie Thunderbird’s January 20, 2021

==========

It’s personal.

Comes w/Boeing to the MAX aerial gas assault, and Gig Bag.

Great Gig in the Sky, everyone gets their fifteen minutes of fame, and they choke doing it, that’s why it’s only fifteen minutes of fame.

After the smoke clears:

Features Mitt Romney as first King of French North American Republic Territory on the Throne, up front in the lights.

A Communist Kingdom.

Justin Trudeau as first Prime Minister, in the seat of Power, in the shadows of Darkness.

=======

The math for the 3K80320 works out twice, once for the year 2020, and once for the day of the month as the 20th. It could continue to work out for the entire twenty-first century, unless I am missing something in the math, but is always in March the way I did the math. Maybe it works differently with a different Decoder Ring.

Are there any Cracker Jack’s Fans out there?

(latest revised 3K80320 terror math: 1-11-2021: 11:41 am)

(11:58 am)

Hmmm... there must be some kind of holdup.

That’s not Donald.

(coitus interuptus)

Simplify:

3K80320

===

3/20

===

K8032

K8 0 32

(it won‘t simplify)

Cite:

youtube

Author’s note: 1-11-2021: 1:26 pm:

Conspiracy of One by the Offspring features a song by the same name, Conspiracy of One. Previously, I believed it was about George W. Bush mass murdering his own US Military Troops during his tenure. After many years of contemplation and eye-witness of events, immersion within terror controlled society in the heart of it’s Head Quarters here in Oregon, the revised thought is that song and album are more than just that, it reflects the long history of many US Presidents who have engaged in the mass murder of US Military Troops over many decades, and then replacing those US Soldiers with Canadian impostor soldiers, and with Screen Actor Guild actors at the Commanding Officer positions, starting with Linden B. Johnson at Vietnam War, could go as far back as the Korean War under Dwight Eisenhower and Harry Truman, as I suspect, but have not researched. I do have small indications of the significance of Korean War to the Canadian terror army, specifics of the significance are not known. I have only the indication that there is a story told about a pilot, a co-pilot, and a navigator in the cockpit of a DC-9 in Korea. The navigator was a Canadian or a SAG member, was a traitor, is the story about the Korean War and it’s known significance to the Canadian terror army in USA.

The Conspiracy is to take over USA. The “One” can be said as: “USA: The country the kills itself” as “The One”. Suicide nation, by Presidential Command.

========

Terror Math Revised: 1-11-2021: 12:48 pm.

Revised again: 1-11-2021: 1:19 pm.

Revised again: 1-11-2021: 1:47 pm: The parts are mostly there, enough to solve the presidential puzzle. The words I used for the “Terror Math Proof” are not per “Trinity Rules” as they should be for a perfect test score. I did, however, explain most of where the parts come from, you need a lot of pre-requisit knowledge to even see that there is a puzzle to solve, and that the puzzle serves as a road map, and an identifier for leading global terror operatives. I happen to have a copy of the “3K80320″ which gives me an advantage over others. So I shared that, I think there will be a copy of something labeled “3K80320″ at the homes and offices of leading terror operatives, certainly in Donald Trump’s possession, and Boris Johnson, and The Pope Bergoglio’s Vatican HQ, and another in Argentina, somewhere.

Although the wording in the “Terror Math Proof” I did above is not exact to what can be found with the same title at Trump’s office, it is the same kind of language that is used for “Trinity Rules”. Terminal ideals such as the story of the “Jesus’ Ol’ Lady who ran off with Marcus and was a Russian Whore” is a real Trinity Rules insider ideology that reflects the true nature of the Christian lies told in effort to continue the pirating done by the Vatican. The modern Trinity Rule is closer to Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll than it is to anything taught at church. The currently promoted, actual Christian Russian Whore is a Porn Slave by the name of Lola Dolices. She’s like a mascot for the Vatican Pirate Ship.

As explained before, the symbolic pirate ship is a submarine by the name of HMS Eleanor Rigby. The Trinity Rule of language based on sex that is used to propel the boat forward, is the fact of the matter that is the Vatican pirate ship and it’s Captains and crew, which has prevented any research into a notion that the Christian church is a front for global pirating. They have successfully managed to use, and get away scott free, with use of pedophilia, as a cover operation. That is some powerful hokus pokus that can make that happen, while everyone just turns the other cheek, to get hit again.

==========================

1-11-2021: 2:48 pm:

This simple graphic can be used to demonstrate the basic idea of how the Vatican powered pirate ship with all of it’s British Captains, it’s French speaking scalawag crews, and fame of SAG personalities (includes US Government Elected Officials) have used nitrous oxide airborne gas as a weapon used for taking over almost any company, public safety office, government agency, residential home, US Navy Vessel, or US Military Base.

Every kind of social organized assemblance includes that there is a place where work is done, at that place, there is a separation of power within, where there are leaders who make decisions, and there are workers, who support the existence of the organizes assemblance of people. The workers are separated from the leaders in some way, at a company where products are made, the leaders are the managers, CEO’s, CFO’s, other corporate officers and foreman. The workers are in the factory area, the leaders are separated by some kind of wall, or other divisor, such as the offices in the hallway at the factory.

All it takes is a dinner party, holiday gathering, other reason that the company will have a celebratory event. The event is one where entertainment is provided for both the workers and the leadership, Sometimes just the leadership is at the party where there is entertainment. Either way, all the needs to happen is for that company to show up on a hunting list of the pirates. The pirates get a foot in the door somehow, someone associated to SAG gets a job there in the normal way, that is the foot in the door. When it’s time for the annual Christmas party, that is when the SAG infiltrator suggests that they have connections to some top notch entertainers for the party, and convinces the CEO that Dolly Parton can and will perform at the party. So, arrangements are made for someone like Dolly Parton to come to do the entertainment at the annual Christmas Party at the big corporation.

The drawing shows what could be the office centrally located in the factory, that oval shape. The pentagon shape is for demonstration also, represents the building where the factory is at, and is where the Christmas Party is to be held.

There are some red people, and some green people at the party. The red people are in the big office where all of the leaders are at partying as Dolly Parton sings When Johnny Comes Marching Home.

All that needs to happen, is for the CEO and Dolly Parton to wind up in the CEO office for a private autograph session for a short time. There is a whole parking lot filled with cars outside, one bus is there waiting with some special team SAG Hit Assassins in it dressed as janitors. They are in contact with Dolly the whole time, and she advises of progress towards the private autograph session in the oval office there after the singing is over, and some drinks have been had by all. Dolly releases some nitrous gas in the oval office. The CEO is overwhelmed, and passes out. Dolly leaves, and leaves the door unlocked, as the party is still going on in the main hall. That is when those special people come in to remove the CEO, they have a look-a-like who stays in the oval office, and the real CEO is removed by the special team who only needs to be the janitor team to pull this off. Dolly goes down all of the hallways, to do private autograph session with as many leading managers as possible, and look-a-like replacements have already been arranged by the janitor team. They repeat that down the halls, takes about two hours for the whole job at the Christmas party replacement session. All they need to do is get Dolly (famous entertainer) alone in the private office of the leadership for a short time to release some nitrous gas to overpower the leadership, once all of the look-a-likes have been arranged before the party started, with help from that one foot in the door that was hired the usual way. Dolly goes home after the autographs are signed, her job is done at that point.

Then, with that done, after the party, everyone goes back to work, separated from the leaders in the offices, as they make the products in the factory part of the building. The look-a-likes are all there, being impostors, and staying in their offices, while claiming that they have a cold, or flew, don‘t want to get the workers sick, so are staying away from the rest of the employees.

Meanwhile, special team janitor is torturing all of the leadership in a basement somewhere. They gain all of the information they need to maintain the company, keep the workers working making products. Then, later, those imposters start to clean house at the factory, fire the workers one at time, then bring in SAG friendly workers, or some variation of that.

The simplest explanation is that everything is set up where there is a separation between the leaders, and the workers, even family households have that kind of structure, leaders, and those who are led.

All it takes is to get one gas wielding SAG member into the safe area where the leaders are at for long enough to overpower them with nitrous gas, once the look-a-likes are already to go, on attack day, at the office party so the janitor can do their job of carting the victim away unnoticed. After that, there is ample time to take over the entire company, ship, house, military base with other means. The look-a-likes goal is to stay out of sight during the transition period, so, they don‘t have to do much once they are in the safe oval office area, and say that they have a cold, are sick, and don’t want to infect others, so they just stay in the office, and cancel any appointments they may have, to reschedule another day, with an attack plan in place to take over who ever may have an appointment to see the CEO leadership.

After the smoke clears, about one month, that is when announcement of new ownership is made, the company changes hands officially, and as expected, things are different after the “sale” of the corporation.

See “Gibson Family of Brands” for after the fact guidance of acquisition tactics the SAG/Vatican way.

See Kroger Foods to see how that arrangement is used to control all of the food we consume, and other Kroger Family of Brands holdings are also used to control places where victims are lured to for take-out at the stores.

=================

1-11-2021: 4:10 pm:

Meanwhile, this is where I am, trying to get a connection that leads to some friends to get some help:

youtube

=======

1-11-2021: 6:38 pm:

Reminder:

There are over 800 entries here all discussing nitrous oxide used as the primary weapon for global take-over advanced by Britain/SAG/Vatican command chain with an army from Canada for doing the majority of the offensive in USA. Hong Kong is the Canadian equivalent for taking China, and other Asian nations there. I have not mentioned much about the Hong Kong elements.

The reminder is that I am aware of a alternate story being told, one that mirrors what I have explained here, but details changed to reflect some offensive brought by China to take USA with use of cellular telephone towers and 5G capabilities. I know of that Chinese cell tower offensive story, it’s false, some of the details about that are coming from Pain Specialists of Southern Oregon.

The only thing I know about a takeover that includes cellular phones is already contained here in great detail throughout this Tumblr account. The Chinese story is false, is used to cover the truth about the SAG/Britain/Vatican w/Canadian terror soldiers attack on USA.

So, just a reminder that what is written here is as straight forward as it can be written about by someone such as myself who is not trained to make reports of terrorism and is not a news reporter. Everything about the cellular towers network is hijacked by the SAG/Britain/Vatican leadership, does not work the way it’s supposed to, and was designed not to be fully functional from the beginning of the introduction of cellular phones. The phones and internet are all set up to favor the terror army, while leaving the citizens with no way to get help.

There is also that German component that throws a big curve ball into trying to explain what is going on. That German part I only figured out this past year or so, I don‘t have much information about it, but the information is coming together at a rapid pace now that I can see it. I have talked about “The Afterswords” terror cells this past year or so, that is the German components if you are reading these entries. They take over the British/SAG at times when they are able to, without giving themselves away, and while pretending to be the among the British/SAG groups. “The Afterswords” is the terminology used by those members, is not something I made up. Maybe Afterswords could be described as German/SAG/Vatican (Benedict) vs British/SAG/Vatican (Bergoglio/Google).

Complicated mess, does not include offensive by China.

Also, the Corona Virus looks to be a “Boris Johnson/House of Lords” sort of product, where the COVID 19 seems to be the “Trump/WH Cabinet” equivelent to Corona Virus. Niether of them are an disease, infection, or virus that makes you sick. They are both “Viral” in the speed, length, and breadth at which the armies are advancing the offensives against citizens, all with details designed to draw victims into a medical health provider, and all of those were taken over by the respective terror armies ahead of the “Virus” attack scenario. There are no more medical facilities where US Citizens can get health related treatment. A visit to a hospital is an appointment with death imposed while within those highly controlled environments in the medical establishments. This is not a new thing, the labels “Corona Virus” and “COVID 19“ are relatively new. The Hospital killings have been going on in Oregon for since the Asante Health Three Rivers Medical Center was built in 2001 at 500 SW Ramsey Ave 97527. However, that hospital was built on the graves of the murdered victims who were killed at the Washington Ave hospital, and the Dimmick Ave Hospital. I suspect there was a lot of Medical insurance billing of treatments that murdered patients at those two places never recieved, were murdered, insurance billed for every kind of test and treatment plan as was possible without being cought of noticed, The proceeds seem to have been used to grow the Asante monster into what it has become since 2001. Asante pretty much took over all of the hospitals in the Southern Oregon area as time has progressed.

All of that hospital activity for mass murdering is covered up to make the facilities appear as top rate facilities. They are all loaded up with actors in the lobbies, in the hospital rooms, working as technicians and nurses. The Canadian terror army receives the very best medical care available anywhere, all of them are very healthy and kept healthy while the US Citizens are poisoned to make them sick and go to a doctor. The terror army is all fed the best food at restaurants that were all hijacked, while the US citizens are poisoned or are captured right there at the same restaurant. The terror army is “Forbidden“ to cook meals at home, and the food at the grocery store is like Food Roulette, maybe is poisoned, maybe not. I have many symptoms of repeated poisons from many various means of delivering the poisons, but I have no way to get treatment for those symptoms. That is why I keep saying “Please send medical services to Oregon“ every day and “Bring your own hospital”.

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scifinal · 4 years

Text

DW s12e03 "Orphan 55" or The Importance of Not Conveying a Message

I swear this is not a Doctor Who fan blog - there's simply no denying that what DW has become as of now is a major and highly influential sci-fi franchise, and there's also no denying that last week I, regrettably, dedicated two days of my life to binging its, as of now, most recent season (and to think I could've been re-watching series D of Blake's 7 instead!), which, in turn, led me to doing what I've had in mind for quite some time now – creating this blog (and returning to tumblr, which I wasn't planning on doing). I wrote my review on the season's finale just yesterday, but there are plenty more things in this season that, I feel, need to be touched upon.

So, here I am, doing just that.

Part One: The Idea

Now, I ask you to imagine a story. Imagine a story in which a neglectful mother leaves her child and, as years go by, gets so overwhelmed with guilt she decides to give said child a gift hoping that maybe, just maybe, this gift will make up for that horrible thing she did years ago. The mother wants to give her child a literal world as a gift. So she picks a planet that nobody will ever claim, an orphan planet, and tries to raise money to afford terraforming it. She becomes a mother to an orphan planet in an attempt to become a mother to her orphan child.

This sounds like a beautiful story. It is a beautiful story.

Part Two: The Science

Doctor Who, which started out as an educational show for schoolkids, is, as of now, at heart, a space opera. There is nothing inherently bad in space operas: these are merely a subgenre of science fiction that focuses on relationships between its characters and social issues, with little to no regard or often at the expense of the "sci" in "sci-fi". Space operas can be beautiful. "Dark They Were, and Golden-Eyed", one of my favourite stories by Ray Bradbury, and one of my favourite short stories period is a space opera. "The Stainless Steel Rat" series by Harry Harrison is a space opera. "Ensign Flandry" by Poul Anderson is a space opera. I love them all.

The surprisingly hard thing with writing space operas is that you have to be careful with science. What I mean by that is that a writer behind a space opera project has to be careful with inventing his technobabble in case he faces a necessity of explaining something. The writer has to be careful and make his technobabble so illegible yet science-y that his audience has no choice but to roll with it, regardless of whether they have the faintest idea what the words the writer has used mean or not. The space opera technobabble has to sound science-y but otherwise has no business using scientific terms that might happen to make some sense to an audience member that happens to be slightly more educated than average and thus more perceptive of your nonsense (bonus points if what the writer has created is not as good as they themselves think it is and that slightly more educated audience member has already gotten so tired of The Work that they unintentionally begin to catch more factual mistakes than they would had the author not oversuspended their disbelief), because at that point...

...Science Says "Hello, I'm Still Here!" (Part Three)

The third episode of the twelfth season of Doctor Who gave its seemingly made-up term "orphan planet" a very clear definition: a previously habitable world that, through processes which may vary in nature, has become unable of supporting sentient, if any at all, life. Here's an excerpt from the Doctor Who fan wiki:

Again, a fairly clear definition.

Except...

"Orphan planet" is an actual scientific term. There are many synonymous terms used to describe it, but, basically, an orphan planet is a planet that doesn't belong to a star system and travels on its own. Here's an excerpt from Wikipedia (I do realise that it isn't a reliable source, but in this case this actually is a correct definition):

And this isn't a rare term, either. In fact, the concept of a rogue, or orphan, planet is fairly common in science fiction – a strange cold, inhospitable world, incapable of supporting life, travelling through the vast cosmos all on its own, fearsome and unpredictable.

Now, why the difference between two definitions of an otherwise well-known occurrence?

Because the story I asked you to imagine in the beginning of this post wasn't enough.

Part Four: The Need for Relevance

There's no arguing that, in some way or another, every piece of media captures the time its creator lives in through the lense of their worldview. It might be obvious in things like clothing, technology, or societal constructs they, the author, perceive as normal or abnormal. There is no arguing that every piece of media ages, and no arguing that most media produced for mass audiences has to be relevant. And science fiction set in the future, surprisingly enough for some, is not an exception; more than that, it may even age worse than other genres as technology develops beyond what creators of science fiction of the past could possibly imagine.

One way of compensating that aging is creating an ever-relevant story. The reason the original trilogy of Star Wars still stands despite its dated effects and tech is not only that it's set in an alien world, but also that it tells a fairly simple story that is bound to be relatable for years to come: it's a journey a hero sets on to right the wrongs. The reason the original Star Trek is good after all these years despite its dated, er, everything technical is that its themes are relatable, its morals are clear, its characters – well-defined. Blake's 7 is wonderful (I mean, this is the third or fourth time I'm mentioning this fairly little-known show in two posts, it should be clear that I love it) not only because of its cheesy British-TV-sci-fi-show-shoestring-budget effects, late-70s-future-fashion outfits charm and well-done models, but because of its clear idea that's bound to last for ages: there will always be an oppressor, there will always be the oppressed, there will always be those who resist the existing regime.

But creating a story with a long-lasting theme is not the only way to being appreciated. We live in an era of information, and we live in an era of that information being at our fingertips, and we also live in an era in which, as always, people want to make profit. Fast profit.

And a much easier way of making profit is not making a story that will last forever, but a relevant story, a story with which its intended audience will resonate right now and not over a prolonged period of time.

This is the time for us to again return to the story I asked you to imagine in the beginning. That story is timeless. Its themes will last as long as there are orphans in the world, and as long as there are neglectful parents, and as long as guilt exists. It's a good story.

But people want more profit than a story that is merely good can make. People want a good story that is also currently relevant.

And so they add a currently relevant theme to it.

Part 4: Additions Have Got to Be Made

There's nothing inherently wrong with adding a new theme to your already existing storyline: it may lead to exploring new depths you didn't expect would open up. The problem arises when said theme is nothing but pandering and is there only to admit the existence of something so the audience can say "I know about this thing that they've mentioned", as if that gives them a figurative gold star, and get back to their business, satisfied that some story they connected with acknowledged a problem that they feel something about. This is pandering.

Now, what does this have to do with the two different definitions of one term and that story?

Part Five: Here's What I Think Is the Problem

I don't think that at the early stages of writing the screenplay for "Orphan 55" DW's definition of the term "orphan planet" was all that different from what an orphan planet actually is. On the contrary, I think the person who first pitched the story did have in mind actual interstellar objects – otherwise they would've devised a new term for uninhabitable planets; besides, almost everything in the episode makes sense without an orphan planet being a once inhabitable world. I also believe that this change was thrown in towards the end of writing the actual script, because then it would probably be written in a way that allows the idea of their version of an orphan planet to be more developed. So why did they, in my opinion, even add that?

You guessed it. Pandering. My best guess is that the higher-ups wanted to throw something "hip" into the story, to add something "relevant", because they wanted a bigger resonance and thus a more profitable episode. And what could be more relevant that the fact that we, the humanity, have kind of screwed our planet up and now everybody's talking about this?

This is the reason they've changed the definition of a pre-existing term. It's not that they wanted to make a statement: they wanted to make money. It's not that they wanted to raise awareness: they wanted to raise their profits. The message wasn't intended as a warning directed towards people who may not know or do not care about the subject: it was a corporation pandering towards those who already agree with it.

It hurts me to write this; I genuinely want to believe this isn't the case. I genuinely want to believe that the addition was made by some well-meaning script editor – but I can't. We live in a world in which corporations can and do use important messages as a means to profit off of people's beliefs. The optimistic option just isn't that probable.

And in the End...

Imagine a flower. Imagine a tender flower on a small flowerbed; a beautiful flower, carefully tended to, lovingly grown, a flower that will bloom for a long time. And next to it, a bigger, more colourful one, a flower that grabs your attention, but only for a short moment – and for no other reason that its life is so short. The big flower will wither, and it will wither soon, and the small one will go unnoticed simply because it's not as bright, and not as big... but it is beautiful when you notice it, and it will bring a smile to your face when you notice it again.

That story about a mother, her child, and a planet was a good story, but its theme about being an orphan wasn't what grabbed the viewer's attention: it was the blunt message about saving our habitat, and it distracted from the actual plot and its own underlying theme.

Your story is your flowerbed. A bright and resonating theme will live on for only as long as it stays popular, for as long as the public is interested in it, and the second that interest is lost, your flowerbed of a story dies with it. If that was your intent – you did well. But if you tend to your garden for the future generations to see, don't make it about here and now, make it about everywhere. Make it about always. Make it so the bright and eye-catching, and short-lived isn't what people know your garden for.

#doctor who #doctor who review #thirteenth doctor #critique #review #spilled thoughts #long reads #long post #sci fi #sci fi review

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fl-eragon · 5 years

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Miraculous Ladybug AU

This is my first time doing something like this, but I had a few ideas for AUs and I wanted to put them somewhere, so here is my first AU. Many parts are inspired by different AUs or alteration ideas I’ve found from others here, with my own spin on it all. It changes most things from the original show. I have not come up with names for anyone yet, but everyone in this AU will have a different hero/villain name, except maybe fox!Lila.

For backstory changes and lore changes:

Fu is the current guardian of some of the Miraculous. He was a part of the Chinese order, which was in charge of the Chinese zodiac miraculous. Something happened, the order destroyed with only him escaping. Some of the zodiacs were left behind, but he has most of them.

The LB and CN miraculous travel around, finding their way to where they are needed, usually, while the central 5 also travel, just not as much. Fu found the Turtle as he was fleeing from China after the disaster with the order.

Some of the miraculous have different power sets, but the main difference is in how powerful they are. LB and CN both start with basic luck powers and their associated creation or destruction, but with training and practice, or through age, more skills get unlocked and more abilities become available or stronger. The central 5 are similar, but start off with a slightly stronger skill and have less potential. On the flip side, the zodiac, and any other more region focused miraculous that might exist, start with a really strong ability or two, but don’t usually have more than 2 extra powers. time limit does exist, but goes away with some basic training.

Gabriel, while traveling, learns about the miraculous, the wish, and finds the black cat and bee miraculous. He intends to get the ladybug miraculous and have world control.

Emilie, either in traveling before she met Gabriel or from her family, also learns about the miraculous and gets the peacock miraculous (no damage). She learns about Gabe’s goal when Adrien is very young and passes the peacock and enough knowledge to Gorilla with orders to protect Adrien if she disappears and pass everything to him if he doesn’t follow his father when he gets older.

Shortly after this, she confronts Gabe and his new assistant Natalie about his plans and begs him to reconsider, telling him she’ll leave and take Adrien if he won’t stop this quest. In his anger, he kills her and has Nat dispose of her (no shrine dungeon).

Sabine lived in China when she was young, and before she decided to move to France, she met and befriended Fu (pre-disaster). He urged her to move sooner after the disaster, and she helped get him out of China. As such, Fu is a family friend, and the Dupain-Chengs know about the miraculous, with Marinette training to not only be the next guardian from a young age but to start her own order as well.

Tom already knew a little about the miraculous as his mom had unknowingly given him the LB earnings when he was younger as a potential gift for his eventual wife. She never knew what she had found, but Tom was greeted by Tikki and told to wait for the right time.

Part of Marinette’s training includes the usage of all miraculous she has, so she knows how to use each zodiac they have, how to use the turtle well, and has mastered most abilities and powers of the ladybug.

Gabe considered bringing Adrien in on his plan, but seeing how much of his mother he has, he thinks it won’t end well, so Adrien is in the dark about his dad. Gorilla gives him the peacock about a month before origin as well as the knowledge Emilie wanted to pass and the truth about his father. Knowing he can’t confront his father, especially if he has trained with the miraculous, he vows to master the peacock in revenge of his mother.

Lila actually has the Fox miraculous originally and some skill with it.

Alix’s family was entrusted with the rabbit miraculous. The knowledge was passed down to Alix and they are skilled with the rabbit.

Kagami’s family was connected to the order, and had the dragon around the time of the disaster. Kagami finds it after it became nothing but a family heirloom, but quickly learns everything she can in secret and trains with it.

Gabe has been training with the CN miraculous, and starts having Nat train with the bee.

Origins and after:

Adrien tries to get away from his father, but it initially goes similarly to the show: he gets to school but Nat takes him back. During that, Mari sees him and feels a connection, in the same way she feels something bad is about to happen. Hopping he comes back, and wanting to get an ally against the coming issue, plus maybe the start of her new order she brings the Snake, the Horse, and the Tiger with her to help him go to school and offer him a choice.

The next day, she and Gorilla manage to get him to school before Nat can get him out, but she isn’t able to offer him the choice yet. She intends to talk to him at lunch.

Before this happens, CN!Gabe and Bee!Nat attack the city, being vague in their threats and wants, but Mari knows what they are after. As she doesn’t have any other potential candidates yet (she hadn't started looking really) she pulls Adrien aside and hands him the Snake while she puts on the two other, expecting to give him a crash course, but to her surprise, he knows what a miraculous is and how to transform, and is actually pretty decent at fighting.

They surprise the duo and manage to drive them off. Mari then talks to Adrien afterwards, both leaving out exactly how they know about miraculous, for now, but promising to help as needed, Adrien getting to keep the snake.

Mari changes miraculous Occasionally, based on what kind of terrorizing the evil duo is doing today. On days she isn’t supported by Snake!Adrien, she is supported by monsters with specific abilities and a hatred for the duo.

When Lila enters the picture, ot throws everyone off, but Mari is able to steal the miraculous, and less people trust her completely. She is still recruited by Gabe to help, as she was a better fighter than Nat, and therefore would make a better bee.

Mari starts using the Fox as her base miraculous after getting it, occasionally with a zodiac power mixed in. She is keeping Ladybug as their ace in the hole when they are positive they can capture ad neutralize the CN and all of his support.

Alix’s brother finds the Butterfly at one point, but it get stolen by Gabe, and becomes Nat’s new miraculous.

Kagami and Alix start helping, each at different points, and most of the class get miraculous as they prove themselves, and Mari builds her new order, a strong miraculous team, and trust as both Marinette and her hero self with her classmates.

Aurora gets the Pig miraculous, which is the miraculous with the ability to control weather now (still unsure about dragon’s ability)

Adrien and Mari both know about the other’s identities, and are aware of each member of the order’s identity. They also fall in love with each other early on, since no identity shenanigans, but decide to put off serious dating till there is not a villain causing problems. They also confide about their familial connection to the miraculous early on before anyone else get’s involved. They decide that trust is important and secrets are shared, especially after Mari learns Adrien’s secret.

This is all I have right now for this AU. I would appreciate suggestions for continuing it or building on it in any way. I have one other AU I’ve thought of for MLB that I will put up soon, but that one is much darker with less thought put into it.

#Miraculous Ladybug #Kwami Swap #ml au #miraculous

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letsperaltiago · 6 years

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If you don’t mind, I’ll walk the line |Jake x Amy|

I Love You-prompt request #42: Is this okay?

Requested by @phxntom-pain!

Look, I’m a sucker for pining pre-relationship Peraltiago and also new-relatiosnhip Peraltiago, soooo here we go! Hope you like it!

Also this isn’t proof read yet, so sorry in advance for typos and other mishaps!

Word count: 2.5K

It’s all the little things he has to get used to. All the thoughts, words and gestures he had to hold back before; he’s now actually allowed to put them all into motion. Yet, it’s still new and he still somewhat feels uncertain. Mostly because he finds it hard to know where to start and where to stop. The last thing he wants to do is to cross the line. Amy Santiago is too damn important for that.

They’ve only been dating - considering the evening where they finally said “screw light and breezy” as the actual starting point - for a bit over a week. It’s still brand new. And though Jake absolutely loves it, already considering it the best thing that has ever happened to him, it also manages to keep him on his toes. Not to say that he doesn’t feel comfortable around Amy. On the contrary: he’s sometimes afraid that he feels too comfortable around her. It’s only been a week, right? That exact thought strikes him a lot; more than he’d like it to. Guess Sophia did leave some scarring, though he hated to admit it. The last thing he wanted to was to compare them, but he also knew very well that Amy and Sophia were nothing alike. Yet he couldn’t help but hear Sophia’s haunting words from their last day together, whenever he felt like bursting with love in front of his new girlfriend.

“I just don’t think I accidentally love you back…”

Honestly he hadn’t thought three months with Sophia had been too soon, but her reacting the way she to his three accidental confessions of love did affect him. Jake wasn’t stupid though. He also knew very well, looking past what happened with Sophia, that one week was way too soon for an “I love you”. But man, did he feel like exploding every time Amy was within his sight. A zoo had moved into Jake’s stomach. Exactly, not just butterflies. Amy Santiago made him feel the whole damn Bronx zoo. Today was no exception. Tuesday. 10 days after agreeing to screw ‘light and breezy’. Yes, Jake kept count of the days and if the whole world wouldn’t judge him for it, he’d throw him and Amy a 10 day anniversary-party. Then again, Jake had a filter a knew that he’d have to wait for them to cross the one month-mark. At the very least.

Anyways, it was Tuesday and time for lunch. The squad had decided to get some food from the Chinese take-away place down the street from the precinct. Being the good friend that she is - also in need of fresh air and more steps for her pedometer - Amy had quickly offered to pick it up and save the delivery expenses.

“The delivery is only a couple of bucks, Santiago. Don’t worry about it,” the sarge had gently brushed off her offer.

“I want to though. It’s just a few blocks and I could use a brisk walk.” She had already picked up her coat, and put her hair in a signature ponytail in order to keep it intact in case the weather outside was windy. Always prepared Santiago-style.

“Just let her go, Sarge. It’ll make her day,” Rosa added without looking up from where she was currently stirring milk into her fresh cup of coffee. Amy smiled widely at the sound of her friend’s comment, lowkey enjoying the support though she also knew the curly-haired detective’s comment contained a certain amount of mocking.

Enhancing his already huge muscles, their sergeant shrugged in defeat before dealing the number and placing the phone to his ear. He wasn’t getting anywhere with this. “Sure… Go ahead, Santiago.”

“Awesome! See you in a bit,” and with that said, Amy rushed out the break-room and through the busy bullpen before suddenly bumping into a firm chest, as she was too busy wrapping her scarf around her neck.

“Wow there!” The chest uttered.

“Oh, sorry! I wasn’t-“ she looked up to meet a couple of familiar brown eyes. Her before nervous o-shaped lips suddenly transitioned into a calm smile.

“Should I be worried that you’re fleeing the place as soon as I step in? Also… A scarf?” Jake squinted his eyes at his girlfriend’s (his girlfriend!!!) choice of outwear, adding a teasing smile for the sake of it.

He hadn’t expected anything else, so of course he got a pair of rolling eyes back, Those were also attached to a smile, of course. “Mock me if you will, but we’re in October and the weather is unpredictable.”

“Just admit that you’re constantly cold, Santiago.”

This little comment showed that he actually knew her a lot better than most people - including herself - thought and it caused blood a rush of blood to her cheeks. Befor she could even think of objecting, she was nervously tugging a strand of hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear. Jake could only stand and look, fighting the urge to pull her in for a kiss right then and there in front of the entire buzzing bullpen. A cough of his broke the tension, saving them both from further yearning and problems with HR.

“Anyhow… Where are you even going? Isn’t it time for lunch?”

“Oh, I’m going to grab lunch for everyone,” she suddenly remembered how they’d ended up here in the first place, both still standing by the bullpen’s gate. Something immediately clicked in Jake’s brain. Though he’d been outside since the early hours, chasing some idiot perp who thought he could get away with robbing a delhi, he was willing to take another walk if it meant spending time with Amy.

“Care for some good-looking company?”

The fact that this question followed her statement without hesitance only made Amy’s heart pound faster for the man. There was honestly no one else she’d rather spend time with than him, and the fact that he felt that way too was very soothing to Amy. Dating and dealing with anxiety hadn’t always been a easy cocktail to drink, but Jake made it easier. So far so good, right?

“Sure,” she sent him a warm smile, automatically reaching for his hand but soon enough clenching her fist and diverting it. Professionalism was key and they were still very much inside the precinct.

15 minutes later, the two detectives were waiting in line for their order. Apparently, the rest of the precinct and half of Brooklyn had had the same exact idea for lunch. The Chinese eatery was buzzing like a fairground, and both Jake and Amy could recognise at least a dozen of faces from around the city: colleagues from their own and neighbour precincts, old suspects and other random acquaintances.

“Damn, what is up with Brooklyn today?” Jake frowned as they got into the back of the line.

“Payday was yesterday,” Amy stated matter of a factly, checking her phone for the order number that the sergeant had texted her.

“Ah, yes. Makes sense, ‘cause there’s no way in hell Anderson from PR can afford both Chinese for lunch and the new Dragon Quest Heroes-game…” After a few seconds of silence that’s when he realised the other detective was no longer looking at her phone, but instead him and this time with a confused frown.

“Okay, I had to drop by PR to see Holt and while I was waiting for him, I got in real deep with Anderson. Don’t judge!”

They took a few steps forward, feeling people joining the line behind them as Amy let him off the hook with a smile and a shake of the head. A comfortable silence between fell over the two, momentarily shielding them from the noise around them. The shorter of the two, whose scarf had blown into a messy ,’hanging on for dear life’-type of positions around her neck, suddenly started fidgeting with the long piece of black material. Still very much caught in this bubble, where only the two of them existed, Jake stared mesmerisingly as the black-haired got her hands all caught up. There was something so stupidly capturing and naturally beautiful about her - even as her eyes shot daggers at her scarf and nose scrunched with displeasure. Small grunts anf sighs escaped her tightly sealed lipped as to keep herself from cursing, which Jake knew she definitely could though she wasn’t proud of it.

Then, without even thinking like it was a deeply rooted instinct within himself, he took a step closer to her and grabbed the two ends of her scarf. She froze at his sudden closeness, just momentarily, before letting go of the tricky ends and tilting her head upwards to look at him. Currently busy fixing her scarf for her, he wasn’t looking directly at her face, but she was definitely looking at him. He could feel it. Right then and there he wished fixing a scarf was harder, just so he had an excuse to stand this close to her for a bit longer, but his hands eventually stopped moving when he realised he’d succeeded the task. No matter how unnatural or weird it might’ve seemed to the bystanders in line, he couldn’t get himself to let go of the fabric around her neck. So he just stood there, holding onto the two ends with his hands as he finally replaced his vision to look straight back at her.

Like gravity he slowly started to pull her in closer by the scarf, slowly ducking his head to reach her few inches shorter height. Though they were very close by then as Amy just let him use her scarf to draw her in, Jake still had a pretty good sight of her face and he could tell that her eyes were wandering. They weren’t focused, itching for him like his was for her, but looked rather… anxious. This very small act, though probably unconscious on her part, drew him out of the moment and caused him to freeze nose tip to nose tip with his partner. It was all it took to pause his instincts and get him way too deep into his head.

It took him back to a few months prior, when he was with Sophia, and reminded him of how any kind of PDA was a no-no with her. He somewhat understood and agreed, since they professionally speak were enemies, but it still hurt. Every time he wanted to kiss her or even just grab her hand at or anywhere near the courthouse or her office, he’d have to stop himself. He couldn’t help but consider that maybe he was just the one who was a bit too all over the place with his feelings, and women actually didn’t like this kind of stuff. Maybe it was just better to keep feelings and the public space as separate things. Amy wasn’t his object to prance around with, even if he simply did it out of care and envy. It was not like actually cared whether or not people saw them. Sometimes he just craved her attention; her touch - just to make sure that she was indeed real and no longer a dream,

He swallowed, silently but prominently, as if to prepare himself for a crash and burn. Their noses were still pressed against one another; his hands were still keeping her close by the scarf and her eyes were still wandering around his face.

“Is this… okay?” She couldn’t help but notice how his breath hitched as he said it.

A huge frown immediately crept onto her beautiful face and it felt like a kick to the gut. “What do you mean?”

“This.” He pulled back, causing bridge of her nose suddenly feeling empty, to look into her eyes with grave sincerity which honestly almost scared Amy a bit. “Like, I know we’re out in public, but I wasn’t thinking straight and I just-” he took another deep breath, having run out of air. “I think I just, even unconsciously, want to like… Hold you and hug you and kiss you all the time. But I know it’s also kinda inappropriate-“

“Peralta. Shut up,” she giggled amusingly, shaking her head at him as she grabbed the sides of his open leather jacket to pull him into a kiss. Keeping in mind that they were in the midst of a few dozens of people, Amy allowed her lips to gently dance across his, letting him know that they were more than okay. Unable to grab her scarf, since her hands were in the way, he quickly found an alternative in putting his hands on her hips to pull her in close. The kiss had an entire firework factory explode in his stomach, still not understanding both why he had the coolest girlfriend or how she was actually her girlfriend. Though still pressed against hers, his lips spread into a wide grin and he could feel hers smile back; which without a doubt was the best feeling in the entire world. No doubt. So into it that the world disappeared, he barely notice her lips leaving his, when she slightly drew her head back to look him in the eyes.

“I know us being colleagues is a matter that we need to be careful about, but when we’re not back at the precinct or out on duty, then don’t…” She paused, running her tongue across her upper lip in thought and almost killing Jake, before continuing. “Don’t worry about it. It’s just me, okay?” Her right hand let go of the zipper on his jacket, only to slide up his collarbone, neck and ending on his cheek. She smiled and immediately reassured him. “Do whatever you’d done with any other girlfriend. Grab my hand, play with my hair, kiss me in line for Chinese take away in front of random people… It’s okay.”

A heavy, calm sigh escaped his body. “I just didn’t want to do it, just because I’m such a damn smitten fool, if you felt weird about it. I guess I’m still high on this whole us-thing.”

“You think I’m not? God, Jake. The only reason why I rarely do anything PDA-ish or sometimes look nervous when you initiate some is because… I can’t believe it’s you, you know? I can’t believe that I can do all these stupid, cute things to you without it being weird or wrong. And I can’t believe that I’m the girl that you can do all these stupid, cute things to. Doesn’t mean it’s not okay… Okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled, feeling like a heavy burden was lifted from his shoulders. The line moved, so they eventually had to let go of each other and go along with it. She felt him grab her hand, intertwining their fingers and couldn’t help but smile to herself. It’s stupid how such a small gesture could make her feel so giddy. Next thing she knew, he ducked his head to reach her ear’s level.

“Expect a lot of me smacking your butt and calling you sickly cute names from now on, Santiago. This is boyfriend-Jake and you’re getting the full experience from now on.”

“Jake…”

#I love you x Peraltiago #Jake x Amy #Peraltiago #Jake and Amy #Brooklyn Nine nine #Brooklyn 99 #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Prompt

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moodboardinthecloud · 3 years

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A Tale Of Two Ecosystems: On Bandcamp, Spotify And The Wide-Open Future

Spotify and Bandcamp could not be more opposite. Where Spotify highlights playlists, most often of its own creation, Bandcamp sticks to the album (or any other format, as determined by the artist). Where Spotify pays royalties according to little-understood formulas that can only be analyzed by reverse calculation, Bandcamp lets artists and labels choose their own prices. Where Spotify requires working through a limited number of distributors to access their services, Bandcamp is open to anyone. Where Spotify has revenue streams dependent on ads and data, Bandcamp operates on a simple revenue share with artists and collects no information on its users.

Spotify is now worth an estimated $54 billion on the stock market, despite having never shown an annual profit. Bandcamp is privately owned, has been in the black since 2012, and continues to grow... slowly. You might be tempted to say that one is a 21st-century business, and the other belongs to an earlier age. But neither could exist at any other time.

Which poses the question: does our 21st-century business world really have to be so much like Spotify, and so little like Bandcamp? I spoke with Bandcamp CEO and co-founder Ethan Diamond to try and understand better how and why his company does business the way they do.

Article continues after sponsor message

Given how differently Bandcamp has behaved from a typical startup, I asked Diamond a fundamental question: Is Bandcamp a digital business?

There was a long pause. "Yeah, I'm not sure," said Diamond. "I think of Bandcamp as a music company first, because I think of who we serve as first and foremost the artist. And the way to best serve artists happens to be through technology, a particular model of technology that our business is based on. But we're definitely – no question – we're different than a lot of digital businesses. I mean, the mission of the company is, I think, fairly unique. ... There's this great story – there was a New Yorker article about it – about how Prince was working on his autobiography just before he died. And he had picked a co-writer and in one of their initial meetings together he said, 'Music is healing. Write that down first.' He said that he wanted it to be the guiding principle they used in the book. And if you start with this idea that music is healing, that is obviously a power that should be in the hands of everybody who has the talent to wield it. ... And so that's what Bandcamp is. That's what I feel like we're here to build – that system. And the way you do that is by ensuring that artists are compensated fairly and transparently for their work. And that is through the direct support of their fans."

NATIONAL

Comments From Spotify CEO Anger Some Musicians

Try going into an investor earnings call with that! Actually, what does a proper earnings call in the digital music business sound like? Daniel Ek, CEO and co-founder of Spotify, peppered his on April 29 with the phrase, "audio-first strategy." He uses "audio" rather than "music" because podcasting has become an important element of Spotify's strategy. But strategy toward what, exactly? Here are more of Ek's own words, from his Q1 2020 earnings call:

"When I look ahead both short- and long-term, I'm always thinking about what's Spotify's role within the larger ecosystem. And while most focus is on competition between streaming services, we continue to be focused on the billions of users that are listening to linear radio. The 20-year trend is that everything linear dies and on-demand wins. This is a trend that we suspect will be accelerated by the COVID pandemic. ... So in my mind, our competition is actually those learned and long-held user behaviors. For us, it will always be about capturing the share of time listeners spend elsewhere and prove out [sic] that their time is far better spent with us."

Spotify is focused on "capturing the share of time listeners spend elsewhere." This is why Ek talks about "audio" generically, because it doesn't matter specifically what those listeners are doing elsewhere, Ek just wants them doing it at Spotify instead. Spotify is not a "music company first," as Diamond describes Bandcamp, because music plays a role only insofar as people spend some of their time listening to it, and Spotify wants all their time. What truly comes first for Spotify is competition – the company is focused on eliminating other places for time spent listening to... whatever. If it's to conspiracist shock jock Joe Rogan – now signed to Spotify for exclusivity of his podcast, reportedly for upwards of $100 million – then it's Joe Rogan. And Joe Rogan is anything but healing. Indeed, health clearly has nothing to do with this. As Ek makes clear, even the COVID pandemic can be put to use by Spotify's strategy, as can the death of an existing medium for music, "linear radio" (more commonly known as "radio").

To be fair, Ek says he does have another mission in mind for Spotify. It's one he spelled out a couple of years ago, before podcasting entered the picture but right before the company went public on the stock exchange: he said he wanted Spotify to help "one million artists to be able to live off their art." This sounds good, especially if you're one of a million artists, rather than one in a million. But what can it mean, when Spotify's royalty rates are so low that to earn a living wage of $15 an hour, a musician needs 657,895 streams per month*? (And if you aren't a solo artist, multiply that by the number of people in your band.)

*Some streaming napkin math: A $15-an-hour minimum wage is $2,500 in revenue per month (pre-tax). Calculating Spotify streaming payout as $0.0038 per stream, then $2,500 equals out to 657,895 streams. It's important to note that this is necessarily an estimate, because each artist makes a slightly different amount per stream — but many use this average figure to estimate Spotify earnings.

It's this discrepancy, between stated goals and reality, that has led many musicians to become more vocal about their dissatisfaction with Spotify. So many that Ek himself recently complained, in an interview with MusicAlly, that: "In the entire existence [of Spotify] I don't think I've ever seen a single artist saying 'I'm happy with all the money I'm getting from streaming.' " Tellingly, Ek didn't follow this with an acknowledgement of why artists are unhappy with the money they get from streaming. Instead, he drew a rather Trump-like conclusion: they are happy, they just don't say it in public. "In private they have done that many times, but in public they have no incentive to do it. But unequivocally, from the data, there are more and more artists that are able to live off streaming income in itself."

Ek continued to swallow his foot in that same interview. "Obviously, some artists that used to do well in the past may not do well in this future landscape, where you can't record music once every three to four years and think that's going to be enough," he said. The reaction from musicians on social media to this particular statement was swift and loud. Musicians do not see themselves as audio machines, able to increase output to make up for the falling unit value of their product. To anyone who knows what goes into recording an album, and how few albums one is likely to make over a career in music, this may well have been the proverbial final straw.

EDITORS' PICKS

A Borrowed World: Streaming As The New Reality

Which brings us back to the anti-Spotify. It's becoming more common, especially among younger bands, to eschew Spotify altogether and post their digital music files on Bandcamp exclusively. [Ed. note: We've been noticing, anecdotally but with increasing frequency, that many new releases we'd like to include on our playlists don't make the jump from being posted on Bandcamp to appearing on platforms like Spotify.] But does it function as a replacement? When I talk about Bandcamp to music fans, especially younger ones, they often say, "but it doesn't stream." You can stream from it, I always point out – just album by album rather than playlist. But I can see their attention has already wandered.

So I put this other very basic question to Ethan Diamond: Is Bandcamp a streaming service?

His answer surprised me. "No," he said. "I don't think of this as a streaming service. I consider us a record store and a music community. The primary difference being that we're a way to directly support the artists that you enjoy listening to. You know, half of the sales on Bandcamp at this point are for physical goods. ... Digital has also seen really strong growth. And when you buy digital on Bandcamp, what you're buying is access. So you can grab a download – you know, there are people who want to grab the high-quality file – but you can also stream through our app, unlimited once you've purchased the music. But yeah, I don't think of us as a streaming service. Definitely."

Bandcamp does stream music – I'm still going to give the same argument to those who tell me it doesn't – but it's so far from the mission of the service, it doesn't even play into Diamond's view of it. Simply put: streaming doesn't support artists. So even though Bandcamp does stream (see, I'm making that argument again!), that's not how it supports artists. Which is what it really is about as a service.

Another striking aspect to Diamond's answer is Bandcamp's connection to physical goods. It is a digital-only business: it has no warehouses or delivery service, like Amazon. But Bandcamp allows artists to take orders for physical goods that they can fulfill however they choose – from their homes, from record labels or distributors, or from third-party merch services. Bandcamp simply takes a 10% revenue share of these sales. For bands, it's a bit like setting up a merch table at a virtual venue. (Venues, especially big ones, typically collect a percentage of merch sold on their premises.)

But if half of Bandcamp's revenue is from physical product, is it a digital platform?

"It definitely started as a digital platform," says Diamond. "In 2007, when we started the company, streaming didn't exist in the United States and our competition essentially was piracy. And the idea in 2007 primarily was that nobody was going to pay for music anymore. And it just seemed very obvious to me that if you like some music from one of your favorite artists, you should be able to support them directly. And so we built the platform to do that. My reference point for this was blogging services. In 2007, you had Blogger, Typepad, Movable Type, services that were essentially like white label services for writers – you could set up a site within minutes and tap this direct relationship with your readers. And it seemed crazy to me that if your artistic output happened to be music instead of words, you were just out of luck."

LIVE UPDATES: PROTESTS FOR RACIAL JUSTICE

Bandcamp, Much-Loved Indie Music Marketplace, Launches A Juneteenth Tradition

"And the most promising thing that happened in the early days," Diamond continues, "was we immediately saw people start to actually buy music, which was very exciting. I wasn't sure that was going to happen! And then, one of the fun things that happened was we started to look at the search terms people were using that brought them to a Bandcamp artist's site that led to a purchase. And several times per hour, we were seeing search terms like the name of an album or name of a track plus the word 'torrent,' or plus the word 'Limewire' or 'Kazaa.' You know, this was somebody whose intent initially was just to get the music – I don't know if they were thinking 'I'm pirating the music' – but they were trying to get it for free. But when they saw that they could make a direct purchase to the artist, they wanted to do that. And that just warmed my heart. So that's really what we were trying to do from the beginning, was just make it clear that this was a way to show your direct support for an artist."

Whether that direct support entails a digital exchange seems immaterial to Diamond. And the platform – unlike any others that come to mind – seems equally indifferent to whether you stay on it. Diamond says this, too, was deliberate from the start.

"That's a lot of the reason why, for a long time, there were not community features on the site. The MySpace community example that I had to go on was just all these people saying 'thanks for the add,' and posting their fliers for their own shows on sites, and basically, you know, polluting somebody else's space. So I said, 'Nah, let's just have no community at all.' And then what happened slowly evolved, because a lot of people started asking us 'Hey, you know, what are the other, like, math-rock artists on Bandcamp?' And my first reaction was, 'Why do you care?' Like, we're not – just go use Google or whatever. Type 'math rock' into Google. But then I started to understand that what was really going on here was a community of like-minded people forming around this idea of direct support of artists. And so then we introduced fan accounts, and collection pages, and discovery tools. And now that drives a significant percentage of the sales on the site. And again, that's just super encouraging."

Ethan Diamond's indifference to the time and money spent by users off his platform would be anathema to Daniel Ek. I am sure any Spotify employee who suggested that their users just type "math rock" into Google would have their desks cleaned out by the end of day. The differences are so extreme, Bandcamp may not just be the anti-Spotify; it may be operating in an entirely different world. I asked Diamond what digital businesses he feels a kinship with now, the way he did with blogging services when he started the company. He didn't name a music platform.

"I would say Etsy. You know, Etsy is similar in that it's a marketplace, right. They connect buyers and sellers, but they're not trying to create competing goods. And they're not fulfilling the goods or anything like that. So it's a community, and they're creating those tools to help connect those artists or sellers and buyers directly. And I think they offer everybody on that platform a fair deal. They've grown into a big company doing that, and I think like every company they have had their fair share of criticisms. But I feel like that's probably the closest."

Music as a craft, as a cottage industry? This may well be the future for many of us in the profession. In my own career, which started in the late 1980s, the type of music I play has gone from subculture to the "alternative" wing of the mainstream and now back, it seems, to subculture. Spotify is built for an economy of scale: it needs and wants to occupy all of everyone's listening time. My music and the milieu it is part of was never intended for that environment – I would worry about anyone who listened to nothing else! Are we, as Brian Wilson sang, just not made for these times?

Bandcamp's counterexample suggests that the problem I and many musicians in my situation face isn't about the digital age per se. It is possible to build a different kind of environment for music online, one that subcultures can recognize as their own and maybe even use to thrive. Or heal, at least, while we dream up new ways to connect with one another in the 21st century.

Damon Krukowski is a musician (Damon & Naomi, Galaxie 500) and writer (Ways of Hearing, The New Analog). He contributes frequently to journals including Art in America, Artforum, Pitchfork, and the New Yorker.

https://www.npr.org/2020/08/19/903547253/a-tale-of-two-ecosystems-on-bandcamp-spotify-and-the-wide-open-future?utm_source=Jocelyn+K.+Glei%27s+newsletter&utm_campaign=a6cdd34d99-Newsletter_12_07_17_COPY_01&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_0d0c9bd4c2-a6cdd34d99-143326949&mc_cid=a6cdd34d99&mc_eid=1dbb9b3296

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crystalelemental · 6 years

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I've gone on record stating that Gen 3 is not my favorite, and I stand by that. I think Team Aqua/Magma had a lot to do with that, being far less interesting than they should have been. As much as we mock IGN for it, the fact that the latter third of the game is a bunch of surf routes with the same Pokemon over and over is also frustrating. Also, since I'm in the middle of playing the remakes of ORAS, I find it really frustrating the things that they changed, with my biggest gripe being that I wish my rival would go away forever. That said, the Pokedex itself has always been something I appreciated. A lot of my favorites came from Gen 3, so I tended to remember the Pokemon in the region fondly, even if the region wasn't my favorite.

TOP 15: 15) Mightyena line - There was so much competition for this slot, it's ridiculous. Ultimately though, I have to give it to Mightyena and its pre-evolution, Poochyena. Both have great designs, but the thing that stood out to me most was that, in the early game, we were given a Dark type. That's really atypical! Usually you go through the normal types, the Flying types, and the bugs, until after the first gym. But Gen 3? You got things like Mightyena right away; it wasn't even rare! Combined with things like Seedot/Lotad and Ralts, you had some interesting types going into the first gym. Mightyena is a great starting point for introducing how unique Gen 3 and its Pokedex are, and I think it stands out a lot because of it.

14) Nosepass - Imagine being a kid who had faced Brock back in gen 1. Imagine again that you started with Red and Blue, and didn't pick Charmander. Odds are, you blasted through him without a second thought. Literally no issue. Now, imagine going to Roxanne, blasting through her Geodude like they're nothing, and then encountering Nosepass, who can tank those Grass and Water hits just fine, and hits pretty hard for early game. Nosepass is awesome. It's a fantastic tank, who can take all sorts of hits in that early game. While it doesn't hit particularly hard later on, its main draw is as a wall among walls, with great support options. The concept of basically being a walking easter island head statue is also comical. It looks funny, but it's adorable too, making for a fantastic overall Pokemon.

13) Absol - This is a Pokemon that gets a lot of favoritism based on aesthetics. It's a sleek and pretty Pokemon, but also has a great role. It tells of impending disasters, and is a fun but short-lived character in Red Rescue Team as well. I really like Absol, and just wish it could be a bit faster so it could have a solid competitive niche.

12) Aggron line - We've had big bipedal rock monsters before, like Rhydon and Tyranitar. But Aggron is just a different kind of cool. Its sleek metal plating and terrifying design are fantastic. The fact that it starts out as the cute little Aron only helps add to its charms. Best of all, you get it super early game. Rhydon was surprisingly late-game, and Tyranitar was literally only attainable when you had nothing left to do. But Aggron? You can run one the whole game. I love the ability to do that.

11) Metagross - YEAH! Metagross is a beast, and a strong contender for my favorite pseudo-legend. It's literally a walking tank, with the glorious Steel/Psychic typing. It had one of the few Steel moves in the game that was actually useful, and back before the nerf, Steel covered all of Psychic type's weaknesses, making it a defensive and offensive nightmare. I love the entire concept behind this behemoth, too. It's a walking robot monster, whose evolution is basically just it gaining more legs until it becomes Omega Weapon.

10) Breloom - I'll get to a similar case later, but Breloom is a favorite based on typing. Grass/Fighting was unreal at the time, and it did super well for itself. Plus it's just cute. A tiny little punching mushroom child, with stubby little arms that apparently shoot out to hit really hard. It's a quirky concept with a fun design, and I adore it. Plus, Spore with the abilities it would later get made it a surprisingly brutal enemy to face.

9) Roselia - IT'S SO PRETTY! Such a gorgeous Pokemon. Grass/Poison was pretty overdone, even at this point, but I just loved the appearance of it.

8) Swampert line - Dual-type starters, at this point, were still relatively rare. Venusaur had Grass/Poison, but so did every Grass type in gen 1 barring Tangela. Charizard had Fire/Flying, but the fact it wasn't Dragon is stupid. Gen 3 introduced new dual-types for starters, and one great one is Water/Ground with Swampert. While the combination had been done before with Quagsire, Swampert offered far better overall bulk and damage output, on top of its excellent typing. It's also goofy-looking, but in a really charming way. It's just so loveable, and every evolution retains that cute look.

7) Flygon - Flygon is just cute to me. It looks like such a friend. Being a Pokemon that exists in the sandstorm-focused desert area was also cool. I really liked that there was an entire region dedicated just to the new weather effect. Shame that Sandstorm was such a pain in the ass, but it's a really cool area!

6) Altaria - Altaria is so pretty. Just a fluffy cotton ball bird...dragon. It's apparently more of a songbird, too, which is just heavenly. It also got a great mega evolution, receiving Dragon/Fairy typing, which is hilarious and excellent.

5) Latias - I'm guessing this run of Dragons is proving I really like the soft, friendly dragons over the big intimidating ones that actually do well, huh? Dragon/Psychic was, at this point, the coolest typing I had ever heard of. But what's cooler than that? How about a super adorable Dragon/Psychic type. Oh, what's this? It gets a hold item that boosts special attack and special defense 50%? That's ridiculous, I love it. Latias is the more defensive option of the two, which I always felt was better if you factor in hold item. The added defensive bulk is going to matter more than slightly more physical offense from their perspective. Of course, Latios having much better special attack is ultimately better in competitive, but Latias still has her use, and is super cute.

4) Blaziken line - Remember when Fire/Fighting was a novel type? Remember when its introduction was a kick-boxing chicken creature? Those were the days. Torchic is one of the cutest starters, and its final evolution is surprisingly still an elegant design. It was such a cool idea, and I love that Hidden Abilities brought it back to the top.

3) Mawile - It's such a cute little creature. Cute and terrifying, and excellent combination for sure. It's a shame that Mawile ultimately was a forgettable Steel type in terms of competitive use, but the acquisition of Fairy type and the best mega really helped it out on that front, too. So I guess it's basically perfect? Sounds about right.

2) Milotic - I never caught one in gen 3. Not fairly, anyway. I could never figure out how to get Feebas to show up. In fact, I don't think I've ever captured a Feebas. I've always traded for it. It's just so hard to find. But man, is the final form ever beautiful. It's such a gorgeous Pokemon, and an excellent tank to boot. Everything about Milotic is wonderful.

1) Gardevoir line - Don't you judge me. We all knew this would happen. If you read anything in this post or the ones before it, you know elegant and cute are the biggest draws for me. Gardevoir is both. It's also a Psychic type, so bonus points there. Also, as mentioned in the Mightyena entry, it's super early-game. Rare, sure, but you can have a Psychic type from nearly the very start of the game. I love Gardevoir so much, it's definitely an all-time favorite, and it should come as no surprise that it winds up being the favorite from this generation.

BOTTOM 10: 10) Pelipper - I like Pelipper. Its reason for being here is that so many Gen 3 Pokemon are great, it just doesn't stand out as much as the others. I have literally no complaints, I just locked myself into "it has to be 10" and here we are.

9) Huntail - Same as above, it just doesn't hold as much aesthetic appeal.

8) Seviper - If there's anything I actually dislike here, it's just that it's pure-Poison type. We had a Poison snake already. I would've liked to see a different typing added in. Poison/Dark at this phase of the game would've been amazing.

7) Zangoose - Still good, but it loses points based on my frustrations with Pokemon Coliseum.

6) Glalie - Getting closer to legitimate frustrations, Glalie is here because its design doesn't captivate. Snorunt is cute, but it evolves into an angry face in a block of ice. Not exactly all that interesting.

5) Volbeat - Did nothing legitimately wrong, but I am upset that Volbeat gets a lot of nice and unique tools that Illumise does not. I like Illumise. I think its color scheme is a lot better. But Volbeat gets the nice tools, so whatever I guess.

4) Ninjask - Please stop speed boosting, I am begging you. You do nothing else but Swords Dance, Speed Boost and Baton Pass, please do something else.

3) Slaking - Okay, actual legitimate complaints. Slaking's problem is it goes backwards. Vigoroth was a nightmare to face, and I have a friend who stated that facing Norman's was the reason he started to respect Normal types as something other than early-game fodder. But Slaking? It re-acquires Truant, which is an awful ability by any standard, and requires very specific team support, on Doubles only, to mitigate. Anyone who sees Slaking knows exactly what will happen, and is probably more than prepared to shut it down. It's a nice design, and a nice concept, but it's been so ruined by the ability it is burdened with that it's virtually unusable.

2) Plusle/Minun - Possibly less legitimate complaint, but I feel more strongly about it. Plusle and Minun are cute and have solid designs, but their great sin is being Pikachu clones for the new area, kicking off the trend of needing an electric rodent in every area. Worse, they do not evolve, offer little in the way of any competitive value, and existed to show off the introduction to Double Battles with their unique abilities and access to Helping Hand. Beyond this, they offer very little, and are the reason we have to always have a new electric rodent that ultimately winds up having no competitive niche.

1) Grumpig - Literally the only one on this list I dislike. Spoink is cute, and Grumpig is...not. It just looks irritable and not all that friendly by comparison. It's also nothing too impressive competitively, and offers little in the way of uniqueness, losing the quirk of constantly bouncing around like Spoink did to...just be grumpy. It's a Pokemon I might like more on its own, but as an evolution of Spoink it doesn't seem as interesting.

#regional pokedex opinions #hoenn pokedex

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brilliantorinsane · 7 years

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The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (Stoll Pictures, 1921–1923)

Inspired by @devoursjohnlock‘s amazing meta about The Secret of Sherlock Holmes, I’ve embarked on an exponentially growing meta about the changing portrayals of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson’s relationship in film, beginning with those produced in Doyle’s lifetime straight through to today. But I quickly encountered a problem: some of the films I’m studying for this meta are just too darn fascinating to be confined to a short blurb in a larger argument.

So while I work on the overarching meta, I intend to periodically post about little-known Sherlock adaptations, the ones that catch my interest and don’t seem to have been analyzed on Tumblr. I’ll be discussing each film’s contemporary reception and current standing, its depictions of Holmes and Watson respectively as well as its portrayal of their relationship (and any potential Johnlocky-ness disguised within), and will end with my personal endorsement of the film.

Please keep in mind that although I am trained in literary analysis and am doing my best to fact-check, I am not a film critic. These analyses are the opinions of a fan, not someone who’s actually qualified for this sort of thing. And with that, read on—I hope you enjoy the discovery even a fraction as much as I have!

Note: all references to Alan Barns are taken from Sherlock Holmes on Screen: The Complete Film and TV History. For any other resources, links are provided within the text.

Production and Reception

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, produced by Stoll pictures, stands as the most prolific Sherlock Holmes series with a total of 45 short and 2 long silent films starring Eille Norwood as Holmes and Hubert Willis as Watson (with the exception The Sign of Four, in which Watson is played by Arthur Cullin). Decidedly literal in interpretation, these films were released while Doyle was still churning out Holmes stories. In fact, Doyle sold Stoll Pictures a license to adapt the stories after apparently being so fed-up with the previously authorized Paris Éclar Company that he “bought the film rights back for ten times the amount he’d sold them for” (Barns 14). The Stoll films “proved a huge hit” among its contemporary audience, and according to Motion Picture News, “they automatically became classics of the silver-sheet” (Barns, 17).

Nevertheless, one rarely hears of these ‘classics’ today. This is not entirely surprising; if one is speaking of silent Sherlock Holmes films it seems natural to default towards William Gillette’s 1916 production, a direct translation of the 1899 play which he likewise produced. After all, in addition to being the first major trans-media Holmes production, the play/film had considerable influence on popular perception of the detective and boasts—as far as I’m aware—the most significant contributions from Doyle of any adaptation. (For the record I won’t be writing about Gillette’s film, because @heimishtheidealhusband has already assembled this gem discussing its content and influence).

Additionally, as Russell Merritt relates, feuds over film rights and difficulties with an American distributor kept the Stoll films from making any headway in America, despite their popularity in Europe, Australia, and Japan (x).

With the exception of The Noble Bachelor, all of the Stoll Picture films have been preserved, but as far as I can tell only three are currently available to the public: The Man With the Twisted Lip, The Dying Detective, and The Adventure of the Devil’s Foot. Fortunately for us, these three ‘instant classics’ are available on YouTube, and this past week I watched the trio with considerable enjoyment. Having done so, it is not difficult to understood why critics consistently identify Eille Norwood’s imposing depiction of Sherlock Holmes as these films’ core strength.

Eille Norwood as Sherlock Holmes

According to Barns, Norwood was “obsessive [in his] determination that his Holmes should be true to the character created by Doyle,” and he admirably captures his own interpretation of the character, which he vividly described:

Holmes . . . is absolutely quiet. Nothing ruffles him, but he is a man who intuitively seizes on points without revealing that he has done so, and nurses them with complete inaction until the moment when he is called upon to exercise his wonderful detective powers. Then he is like a cat—the person he is after is the only person in all the world, and he is oblivious of everything else till his quarry is run to earth. The last thing in the world that he looks like is a detective. There is nothing of the hawk-eyed sleuth about him. His powers of observation are but the servant of his powers of deduction, which enable him, as it were, to see round corners, and cause him, incidentally, to be constantly amused at the blindness of his faithful Watson, who is never able to understand this methods (Barns, 16).

My own reading of the character differs from Norwood’s on a few points, but it is certainly a compelling image, and one that is strikingly achieved on screen. According to Merritt, Doyle himself loved the portrayal, saying that Norwood “has that rare quality which can only be described as glamour, which compels you to watch an actor eagerly when he is doing nothing. He has a brooding eye which excites expectation and he has a quite unrivaled power of disguise” (x)

Speaking of disguise, I cannot resist relaying a brief anecdote from Barns: It only took one screen-test for Norwood to deeply impress his employers with his ability to disappear into the character of Holmes, but Stoll’s co-managing director Jeffrey Bernerd remained skeptical that Norwood’s distinctive figure to convincingly transform into the cabby Holmes masquerades as in Scandal (15). As a result one can imagine his embarrassment after “attempting to have a ‘common-looking’ cabby removed from the set of A Scandal in Bohemia, completely unaware that the insalubrious ‘cabby’ was none other than Norwood wearing one of Holmes’ many disguises” (15)!

Hubert Willis/Arthur Cullin as John Watson [Spoiler for The Dying Detective]

As you have probably gathered given his virtual invisibility in the discussion thus far, Watson does not fare nearly so well in this production. Although a contemporary critic praised Willis for “[resisting] the natural temptation to burlesque this character,” the lack of burlesque is replaced with . . . nothing much of anything. There is a stolid composure to the performance which is decidedly Watson-esque, but it is not surprising that Burns has no more to say of Willis than that he is “a white-haired and slightly redundant Dr. Watson” (16). Merritt is more actively critical, going so far as describe Watson as the series’s “Achilles heel”—although in fairness, he extends this critique to the few silent-era Holmes films which include Watson, rather than leveling it at Willis’s portrayal in particular. Merritt goes on to say that “In these pre-Nigel Bruce days, [Watson] barely registers as Holmes’s partner, and the theme of a famous friendship, so important in all post-Rathbone films, is, here, all but ignored” (x)

In Willis and Cullin’s defense, this blandness appears to be more the fault of the script and direction than their performances. Watson is frequently on screen shadowing Holmes, listening to him talk, and occasionally stumbling across dead bodies; but for the most part he is just . . . there, and one is at rather a loss to determine why. In the admittedly limited selection I’ve watched the most striking demonstration of this is The Dying Detective, which necessarily includes Watson’s initial conviction that Holmes is dying, but skips entirely over the moment in which he discovers that it was all an act. After all, in the film the audience knows that the illness was feigned from the beginning, and Watson’s discovery of the same is relevant only insofar as it is a significant moment in the relationship between him and Holmes—a relationship in which it appears this series is largely uninterested.

Nevertheless, the duo is not utterly devoid of partnership, and given the state of matters I found myself smiling at their interactions surprisingly often, for the following reasons:

So . . . What about Johnlock? [Spoilers for the The Dying Detective and The Adventure of the Devil’s Foot]

By this point it is transparent that if you’re looking for top-tier Johnlock material, the Stoll films are hardly a goldmine. But if you’re willing to dismiss probable authorial intent and enjoy what’s there, you’ll come across some unexpected gems.

The thing is, a much as we the audience feel excluded from the secret of why Holmes wants this iteration of Watson along on his cases, it is clear that he does want him. Despite scant acknowledgement of Watson’s existence in the script, Holmes periodically includes him through look, word or gesture. Turning to address a few words to Watson that do not appear on screen for the audience, waiting for him at the gate, gesturing for him to come forward when trailing behind Holmes and an Inspector—in little actions and mannerisms Holmes demonstrates that while the audience may have half-forgotten about Watson, he has not. Rather less subtle is the miniature tantrum which Holmes throws when Watson doesn’t have time for him in The Dying Detective—an event both amusing and familiar to BBC fans, but surprising and notable for an iteration of Holmes who as a general rule is “absolutely quiet” except when on the tail of a criminal.

Added to this is a definite air of protection which Holmes exudes towards Watson. It is genuinely touching to see Holmes gesture for Watson to allow him to enter a potentially dangerous room first, shove Watson out of the poisoned room in Devil’s Foot before exiting himself, and grab Culverton’s poisoned box from his friend with startled urgency. And while I would have preferred to see the office of protector devolve more frequently to Watson, if only to give the poor man something to do, in The Dying Detective it is indeed striking to see his repeated attempts to get close to Holmes and care for him despite having been informed that his supposed disease is “horribly contagious and invariably fatal.”

This mutual care allows the audience to on some level accept them as partners, even if they do not understand why. It also lends credence to a certain familiarity and easy coordination that is visible in their interactions, perhaps most notably in the way they frequently stand and walk closer together than strictly necessary. Small as it is, I also find myself fixating on a moment in Devil’s Foot when the police walk in on them investigating three bodies. Due to a deviation from the cannon Holmes and Watson have stumbled across the bodies by accident, so being found with them now doesn’t look at all good. But Holmes continues his investigations without a hitch, and after only a negligible start Watson calmly begins to explain their presence. When a potentially uncomfortable circumstance arises Holmes implicitly trusts Watson to handle matters, Watson does so without instruction or hesitation. In that moment one thinks: “Oh, these two know each other and understand how to function in tandem.”

I know of no reason to suppose that those involved in the production imagined any sort of romance underlying their series. Yet thanks to the details above, somehow even making Watson a veritable wallflower was insufficient to prevent it from being rather easy for those of us who are in on the secret of every Holmes and his every Watson to a imagine private intimacy far deeper than they are free to reveal to any prying eye.

In conclusion: far be it from me to assert that initiating physical contact with a friend who has nearly died through one’s own rash actions is inevitably gay—it is no more than any human who isn’t emotionally constipated would do. I’m just saying that when the lion-hunter approaches the country cabin at the end of The Devil’s Foot, knowing that Holmes may well have deduced that he is a murderer, the first thing he sees is Holmes holding Watson's hands in one of his and gently touching the side of his friend’s head with the other. And there’s just no way he didn’t at least consider that if Holmes really did accuse him, he just might wriggle out of it by blackmailing the doctor and detective with the threat of sodomy charges.

Conclusion: Should You Watch It?

I’m not going to insist that these are films everyone must see. To be honest the preservation quality of the films is poor—at times the white glares blindingly, and at others it is nearly too dark to see. The soundtrack is just classical music played in a loop without any attempt to sync with what’s happening on screen (The Dying Detective soundtrack in particular is interminably repetitive, and you’d be best off just muting it while playing your own classical music), and flashbacks which cut away to show the crimes being committed tend to drag.

But if you are even a little interested in seeing one of the earliest depictions of Sherlock Holmes, quite possibly the favorite of Doyle and audiences alike—hell yeah you should watch them! Then come tell me what you think—it’s not as if I know anyone who has seen them. You can watch all three in an hour and a half; and if you watch only one I recommend The Adventure of the Devil’s Foot—in my opinion it has the best pacing and the best Watson/Holmes interactions, even if a few plot alterations make the climax a bit nonsensical. And if nothing else, watch the first 1.35min of The Dying Detective, for reasons ;)

A final note, since clearly I don’t know how to shut up: If you watch The Man With the Twisted Lip, don’t get overly excited like I did over the fact that Mary is erased from the story. After a bit of research I discovered to my disappointment that Watson does still get married in The Sign of Four. Fortunately Sign is relatively early in Holmes and Watson’s relationship chronologically speaking, and the fact that as far as I can tell she doesn’t appear in any other Stoll films allows us to continue imagining what we will. Yet the part of me that at times just finds it so damn sad that through such an endless train of retellings creators seem compelled to find ways to bury and deny an love that should be celebrated cannot help fixating on the fact that Sign was the final Sherlock film released by Stoll Pictures. After three years of a bound partnership that not even the near-absence of agency on Watson’s part could entirely obscure, their public image was jerked to a conclusion with the purportedly hollow (x) ringing of hetero wedding bells. But we need not dwell too long on such depressing images. Regardless of whether you continue to hold out hope for BBC Johnlock, it is my increasingly firm opinion that we are charging headlong towards a doorway, and any moment we will burst into the green fields where beauty is joyously vaunted.

If you continue to follow my ramblings, I’ll see if I can’t convince you of the same.

#The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes #Stoll Pictures #1921-1923 #Eille Norwood #Arthur Cullin #Hubert Willis #film adaptation #Sherlock Holmes #John Watson #film analysis #johnlock #meta

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tefltraininginstitute · 5 years

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Principles for Vocabulary Teaching (with Hugh Dellar)

Hugh Dellar talks to us about the principals behind vocabulary teaching in EFL, ESL and TESOL classes. We also discuss the dangers of teaching lexical sets and why we might be better off teaching more words and fewer meanings.

Principles for Vocabulary Teaching (with Hugh Dellar) - Transcript

Ross Thorburn: Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. Today we're going to talk about vocabulary. Tracy, was this a useful topic?

Tracy Yu: David Wilkins, long time ago, he said something like, "Without grammar very little can be conveyed. And without vocabulary, nothing can be conveyed." I really like that because for grammar I think, of course ‑‑ in the grammar for meaning, grammar for accuracy and better vocabulary ‑‑ I would say is the foundation for other skills.

Also vocabulary change often. When new things came out, for example, like a new technology or Internet and then there will be more vocabulary added onto. Of course, and there will be words dropped out if it's not being used very frequently.

Ross: Today we have Hugh Dellar on the podcast. He's a teacher, trainer, co‑founder of Lexical Lab, and author of the course books, "Outcomes and Innovations" and I asked you about teaching vocabulary.

I'm here with Hugh Dellar. Hugh, thank you very much for coming on. Hugh, just start off with, not why is vocabulary important, but what's important in vocabulary teaching.

Hugh Dellar: It's first and foremost being aware of the context in which language is being used. I read this book recently called "Lexical Analysis" by Patrick Hanks, who's a lexicographer. One thing that really struck me in there was, how even professional lexicographers recognize that basically, words don't have fixed denotation or meanings. None of them do, even a word like fire.

You might think a fire is something that happens when things burn, but even then, if you change call occasions like if you have a raging fire and a cozy fire, those are two very different kinds of fires. But one is a kind of out of control thing that requires the fire brigade to come and try and put it out and one is something in a pub on a cold day that you sit in front of and warm your hands by.

Yes, they both involve things burning, but they're different measures or qualities of things. You can only determine that by looking at the context in which you're using things. I guess for me, first and foremost, it's thinking about not trying to teach everything at once.

Very much the same as with grammar, actually. Not making the mistake of trying to do everything at once and accepting that what students and all of us, in a sense, know about words is always going to be provisional, but always going to be developing and working on little bits at a time.

Maybe you think you know the word "problem", but then you learn it's "a perennial problem'' or maybe you learn a different verb that goes with the word "problem". It's just thinking about layering your knowledge of how words work with other words and with grammar over time.

It's also in terms of teaching particularly, and I guess I also think about this as a writer. It's thinking about what vocabulary do you need in order to perform particular communicative tasks. When I was a younger teacher, I made the mistake of teaching things because they were easy to teach rather than because they lead to anywhere particularly useful.

I would do naming 50 things in the house because it's easy to match them to pictures and you can do info gaps where you can say, "Have you got a sofa?" "No, I haven't." "Have you got an armchair?" "Yes, I have." You can do all that kind of stuff.

On one level, it looks like they're easy to sort of deal with the meaning of and to practice in the classroom, but I later came to realize that this didn't really lead to any particularly interesting or useful outcomes.

Often when you're thinking about what you want students to be able to talk about better, you have to think about vocabulary beyond the single word level. You have to think about it in terms of things people might say. Once you start thinking about things people might say, that involves thinking about the grammar and the other words together.

In a way, it's how I learned my Indonesian as well, so I guess this is also a wash back effects on all of that, where, I learned, first and foremost, how to say things that I wanted to say. I learned to kind of deploy the vocabulary in a particular communicative context and then later to do more with the vocabulary, as I started reading a bit more and listening respectively a bit more to things.

Initially, it was all just, rather than being able to walk around your kitchen and say kettle, microwave, excellent. I was basically learning how to say, "I'll put the kettle on. Stick it in the microwave." Because I didn't have any needs to say anything else about kettles or microwaves apart from those things.

I think about vocab teaching very much in terms of, "Yes, he needs to know what a kettle or a microwave is, but what are you going to do with those words?"

Ross: That's such a common thing to do, isn't it? To teach a set of vocabulary around a theme, rather than actually thinking about what the student is going to do with the words in that theme or in that lexical set?

Hugh: Yeah, rather than just training students to be human naming machines, which seems rather perverse.

Ross: That's one principle that in vocabulary teaching. Do you want to tell us what are some others that you think teachers might need to think about before teaching vocabulary or when they're teaching vocabulary?

Hugh: The main thing is thinking about what potential communicative outcome or what students are either going to need to do or might hear done with the words they're learning. Beyond that, it's not trying to tackle every meaning of a word at once. It's dealing with the language and context.

Part of the other problems ‑‑ course books can exacerbate this problem sometimes ‑‑ is moving beyond traditional lexical sets. Traditional lexical sets exist because of ease of teaching and familiarity from a teacher's point of view, but they lead to treating frequent and infrequent items as equally useful, and they lead to dubious communicative outcomes.

You get those kind of lessons on, I don't know, adjectives for describing people, and you get things like "curly hair", and you end up describing people in your family, "My brother has curly hair." You can, of course, create speaking around all of those kinds of tasks.

Actually, a word like "curly" is highly infrequent, when you look at it in terms of how often the word is used. The whole act of describing someone's appearance is a really bizarre thing to do, and not something you often do in the real world. I know that those words are all put together in a course book because there's an expectation that, at pre intermediate, you will have a lexical set called describing people.

If you start by thinking about, what is it you wanted to do or what is it people normally do with the language? It has these extra kind of backwash effects. One of those is, it's probably better to focus more on frequent language.

Again, I think when I was a younger teacher, I probably spent much more time on the most infrequent items in the text. Whereas now, I'm always looking at trying to help students do a bit more with the more frequent bits of language in a text or in an exercise because you know, frequent words are frequent, because they're the words that people use most.

They're the words that students are going to hear most and read most, and presumably needs to use themselves most. It's prioritizing frequency where possible. It's thinking about how words interact with other words and with grammar. It's thinking about utility and what's done with the language that you're looking at.

Then on top of all of that, I think it's thinking about ensuring re‑exposure, further encounters with the language, repeated experience of those particular items. Again, it's a problem with course books a lot of the time, which is, we've done the lexical set on describing people. Next unit is about transport where we'll do the lexical set on vehicles. Therefore the world curly will not reappear for the rest of this book.

When you've had that experience of learning language, outside the classroom, the things you pick up most of the things you hear the most and you hear them the most because they're frequent, and they get recycled in different conversations.

For me, as a writer, and as a teacher, it's always thinking about ways of trying to make sure students get repeated encounters with things that they kind of met already.

A lot of students make the mistake of thinking that vocabulary development has to do with learning words they've never seen before, rather than learning how to do more with words they have seen before, and so it's trying to capture that a bit as well.

Ross: I can definitely remember as a new teacher giving students, for example, a news article and then asking them to underline or talk about words that they don't know, but it would have been just as useful to get them to underline the words they do know or even just not focus on words at all, but look at some longer and more interesting set phrases in there where the students might even know all the words, but they might not really be familiar with the phrase.

Hugh: Yeah. Meanwhile, there may be a little chunk there like, "I wanted to make the most of my time." We don't spend time on that kind of thing because it doesn't contain new words.

Ross: I wanted to ask you a bit about space practice and space repetition. I know that's something you're passionate about this idea of not cramming lots of practice of, say, one lexical set into one class, but rather spreading it out throughout a course. Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to get used very much in language teaching or coursebook writing, I think, in general though.

Hugh: No, it doesn't and part of the problem is this kind of tick box thing where it happens in many different ways. It happens in terms of, "We've done the present perfect simple. We've done talking about food. We've done lexical set for talking about work. We've done that topic and that vocabulary."

Actually a lot of the things you talk about, I'm sure you find the same when you're speaking foreign languages yourself, you talk about certain things over and over and over again. Living in Indonesia, being married to an Indonesian, 60 percent of the conversations we ever have are about food. It's just like a never ending ongoing circular conversation about food.

In the same way, I think we jump too quickly. We kind of say, "We've done work." You've done a conversation about work. Your students can now say, "What do you do? I'm a teacher." "Do you like it?" "Yes. I love it." That's great. That's a really good conversation to have. Build on that. How does that conversation develop? What else might you say? What might the responses be?

Often we don't repeat conversations enough in class because we have this idea of having done things. It's like learning an instrument and you play a song one successfully, and you say you've done it and then you move on to the next song. A math person was trying to learn an instrument like this.

This is often what we force students to do in the language classroom. I think all the research shows that with both grammar and vocabulary, you learn better when you encounter the items, whatever they are ‑‑ whether they're structural or lexical or whatever ‑‑ you encounter them frequently over an extended period of time.

That kind of spacing out of exposure and experience to things leads to better uptake of language than massed practice, which is generally what we do because of the present practice produce paradigm and the way in which the PPP paradigm has sort of imposed itself on vocabulary as well.

That we kind of expect that will present a little lexical set and students will practice it and produce it. Then we'll move on and not return to that again. You know that the research doesn't back this up. There is no research to suggest that massing the practice of things leads to better uptake or better results of the items of using in terms of using the items that you're looking at.

It's then thinking about as a teacher, or as a writer, or both, how you integrate an awareness of that into your teaching, particularly if the course book you're using doesn't do that for you. It may be that you're using a more traditional kind of course book or because you have to, wherever you are.

Then in that case, it's thinking about what kind of revision activities you can build into each class, how you can use teacher talk, how you can use board work, as a way of revisiting and recycling things that have already been presented to students.

#interview #interviews

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hella-ubiquitous · 7 years

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Clexa Fic Rec

(Because we don’t have enough of them already)

Okay clexakru, I know we already have a whole master list and everything but I decided to make one because I noticed that some other fic recs are full of ones that I’ve already read. There are A LOT of recommendations so be prepared. I’ve rated them from one * to five ***** and added the author’s summary below the title. The rating of the fic is in brackets, the status of the story is in parenthesis, and the amount of chapters is also in brackets. I’ve added trigger warnings if they are needed. Some are very recent and some are not, the word count is not always correct and neither is the status due to the fact that there are so many. You can check them out under the cut : )

CANON/ ROLE REVERSAL

The Taste of War and Heartache by thefooliam [Mature] (Ongoing- 36,723 Words) {4 Chapters} ****

After saving the world for the last time, Clarke Griffin finds herself bitter and angry and grieving for more than just the woman she lost.That’s until she finds a map that might possibly lead her to the answers she’s been looking for.It’s a suicide mission. A fool’s errand. She’s almost certainly going to lose her life in the process.Except Clarke has nothing left to lose and, even if she did, she doesn’t care anyway. (TW: Alcohol addiction)

what the ground grows by coldmackeral [Mature] (Complete- 25,656 Words) {5/5 Chapters} ****

There is nothing a little bedrest and irony can’t cure. Lexa is sure the only thing that heals Clarke’s mind and keeps her heart thumping against her ribs is an ill-advised amount of the first and a frustrating amount of the second. But Clarke has never been anything less than ill-advised and frustrating. If anybody will survive a hole in their brain, Lexa is sure it will be Clarke. (At Heda’s expense, of course.)

Beneath the Betrayal by talentedgemx [Mature] (Ongoing- 212,332 Words) {20 Chapters} *****

Beneath the Betrayal is set right after the end of series two this explores the relationship between Clarke and Lexa and whether anything could possibly be salvaged in the aftermath of the mountain. Lots of angst, darkness and soul searching for both characters as well as the drama and danger that awaits them in leading their people against new threats. Budding romance & interactions with other characters. Very NSFW in later chapters. This doesn’t follow s3 at all guys except for how Polis looks and it has the Nightbloods, and Titus doesn’t exist. This is going to be long and I hope to deliver a story worthy of how Clexa should have been.

Before Words, Beyond Silence by natkate [Mature] (Complete- 173,287 Words) {24/24 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing Before Words, Beyond Silence series] ****

Clarke Griffin is rudely taken from her cell in the middle of the night only to be forced into a room with the man she hates the most - the man who floated her father - Thelonius Jaha.He then informs her that she will be sent to Earth almost immediately to determine whether or not the ground is survivable again in the hopes of saving their people from certain doom. Alone.On top of it all, the fate of 98 other adolescent prisoners rests on her succeeding in this mission. In other words: she’s screwed. Before she knows it, she’s hurtling towards the planet at top speed with no control over the contraption that’s presumably carrying her to her death.After she somehow manages to survive the crash landing, she finds herself alone in unknown lands struggling to fight through the pain of her extensive injuries.Only, she’s not alone. Far from it, in fact.Who are these strange inhabitants whose language is so different from her own? Why does she get the feeling she’s just walked into a much bigger problem than the one she left behind on the Ark? More importantly: how is she going to survive? (TW: Torture)

The Girl Who Kissed Saturn by Puntrest [Explicit] (Complete- 61,601 Words) {13/13 Chapters} ****

AU where a long lost space station originally located near the edge of the solar system floats back into Earth’s orbit after 97 years of total isolation. The Ark attempts to absorb this self-sustaining station, along with its invaluable resources and its strange people. The two societies quickly find themselves on the brink of war as both refuse to give up their political authority. On Clarke Griffin’s eighteenth birthday, she is released from juvenile lockup and is finally able to meet the descendants of the forgotten Trikru Research Outpost.

Knife Edge by crazywisdom [Mature] (Complete- 114,669 Words) {15/15 Chapters}****

Post 3x07. Lexa’s stuck between the world of the living and the world of the dead, where Anya wallows. As Clarke and Aden struggle to contain Arkadia’s internal battles and the external threat of Ontari’s Ice Nation, Lexa fights her past and the what-ifs to unravel the truth of the Flame and reclaim the Commander’s throne.

In the Shallows by blindwire [Teen] (Ongoing- 87,992 Words) {8 Chapters} ****

Raised for war and forged in fire, Clarke has vowed to be a leader for her people, to protect them and to make sacrifices so that they do not have to. This is what it means to be Commander and the spirit has chosen her for a reason.

(my) Destruction Within Your Mouth by KL_Morgan [Mature] (Ongoing- 114,162 Words) {18 Chapters} *****

Clarke loses: her head, her voice, her heart. (TW: Torture)

this heart, fossilized and silent (once was tender and once was violent) by Chrmdpoet [Mature] (Complete- 171,154 Words) {35/35 Chapters} ******

Clarke is only three days into being a runaway when she realizes that she did not fully think this through. When she walked away from Camp Jaha, she took only herself, a handgun with limited ammunition, and the gnawing guilt inside her. Three days without food, water, fresh clothing, or bedding of any kind, however, and she is painfully aware of how foolish that decision had been. (One you really need to read if you haven’t)

ark enemies, or something by BSnows [Teen] (Ongoing- 9,195 Words) {4 Chapters} **

“No,” Lexa calmly says, her eyes closed and her nostrils opening wide. She really doesn’t like to be disturbed when she’s meditating. “I’m totally not here, I’m walking around the Ark like the non-delinquent person I am. Please leave a message after the beep.” Lexa takes a deep breath and enjoys as she has a few seconds of peace.

“There wasn’t a beep,” Clarke says. Lexa breathes out.

"Exactly.“

or Your typical Clexa AU where they despise each other and have sex in the end. Plus they’re in the Ark and they’re cell neighbors.

The World Has No Right to My Heart by usuallyproperlyhydrated [Teen] (Complete- 43,885 Words) {15/15 Chapters} ****

"Be careful with that one, love–she will do what it takes to survive.”

(Quote and title from “Burn” from Hamilton)

Lexa has been watching Clarke since the fall of the mountain and does everything in her power to convince her to come to Polis.

Four Walls // Clexa AU by perpetual_gayness [Teen] (Ongoing- 24,398 Words) {10 Chapters} ***

There are very few things one can do within the confines of the same four walls… turns out falling in love is one of them.

Through the Looking Glass by RhinoMouse [Mature] (Ongoing- 114,303 Words) {19/22 Chapters} *****

Clarke was born the youngest of her class of night bloods. No one expected her to win her conclave. Lexa is a guard cadet and the daughter of Marcus and Abby Kane. After taking the fall for a crime she didn't commit she's sent to the ground as part of a group of a hundred prisoners. Or our version of the role reversal fic.

Waking in Winter by natkate [Unrated] (Ongoing- 20,757 Words) {3 Chapters} *****

In the wake of Clarke Griffin finally coming of age in Queen Nia's army, she is chosen to accompany the queen's caravan on an unprecedented visit to the capitol city of Polis - upon the whisper of rumor or yet another mind game, Clarke can't be sure.

Regardless, Clarke is met with a number of unexpected twists as the very city, itself, threatens to challenge everything she'd ever known about the world around her.

AU where Clarke is an Ice Nation warrior in Nia's army who stumbles into a pre-Coalition Polis and causes trouble, as usual. Oh, and Skaikru isn't a thing in this story.

Grounded by AndiLand (AndiMarquette) [Mature] (Complete- 511,076 Words) {75/75 Chapters} ***

Clarke Griffin has been on her own for three months after pulling the lever at Mt. Weather. Battling ghosts and the pain from Lexa's betrayal at the mountain, she nevertheless has to return to Arkadia to warn Sky Crew of a threat from Ice Nation and the power-hungry Nia, who maneuvers on several fronts to install herself as Commander and rule all Grounder clans. But a new danger presents itself--one that will force a reckoning with an old foe--and Clarke and Lexa will have to work together to forge a stronger alliance as the winds of war swirl from Polis to Arkadia. Both understand the growing dangers and the peril hidden in alliances, but neither counted on the depth of the connection between them.

when my heart is at war by mopeytropey (scriptmanip) [Mature] (Complete- 55,297 Words) {4/4 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing when my heart is at war series] ***

Lexa is primed for great leadership and will not be deviated from her agenda.

Clarke is driven by her insatiable curiosity and is not easily deterred.

There is plenty at work to drive them apart, but the strength of their combined determination will change the course of an entire civilization.

The Shadow by Clexa1205 [Mature] (Ongoing- 121,822 Words) {23 Chapters} **** [TW: Torture, Gore]

Clarke has been on her own for three weeks after Mount Weather when she is captured and brought to Queen Nia. She is forced to serve the Ice Queen and spends almost two years training to become one of the coalitions top assassins before she is brought to Polis, as a member of Azgeda, to take part in the annual Summit. Nia tries to use Clarke's skills as an assassin, and her relationship with Lexa to give herself the opportunity to take control of the coalition. Clarke tries to find a way to break free of Nia's control. She tries to navigate her relationships with everyone she cares about while trying to break free from Nia, but until then, she serves the Ice Queen and is as ruthless as she needs to be. Nia uses everything she's got to make Lexa suffer, and uses Clarke's status as Wanheda to her advantage over the other clans. Nia will do whatever it takes for power, and Clarke and her friends will do whatever it takes to stop her.

Ice’s Champion by dragonfruity [Teen] (Ongoing- 22,924 Words) {4 Chapters} ***

When the Dropship lands, it becomes painfully obvious that there has been a slight mishap.

Slight mishap (noun): a rather unfortunate scenario in which the corrupt idiots on the Ark send the Delinquents 50 miles north of their target, into the heart of cold, barren, miserable Azgeda territory, rather than the lush forest overflowing with unicorns and rainbows they were promised. Whoops.

General Clarke and the Delinquents - those remaining after five years of toil and hardship climbing Azgeda's ranks - are tasked with appeasing the Commander in Polis on the eve of what could very quickly dissolve into an inter-Coalition civil war between their two clans. As she struggles to navigate the murky waters between Azgeda and the Commander's fiery rage, Clarke must hide her true goal: Dethrone Nia and reclaim Azgeda. But now, the Commander is an unknown variable. Will she aid Clarke in her coup, or remain loyal to the Coalition... and Nia?

AKA

The badass version of Romeo and Juliet, minus the sad ending, plus a whole lot of gay.

Lightning Only Strikes Once by fiona_249 [Mature] (Complete- 307,941 Words) {134/134 Chapters} *****

Consumed by grief, Clarke climbs Lexa's tower, not really thinking through what she plans to do. But any plans get taken away when she's struck by lightning, mysteriously transporting her back to before any of it happens.

Back in her cell on the Ark, Clarke remembers exactly what went wrong - and mysteriously, so does Lexa among her people on the ground. Between the two of them, can they get back to each other? Can they find a way to save both of their people and themselves? Or is the hatred surrounding them too strong?

[Be sure to keep an eye out for the comic!]

MODERN

Into the Storm by anddirtyrain and mmeister911 [Mature] (Ongoing- 63,856 Words) {9 Chapters}**

This is ‘Into The Storm’ with Lexa Forrest, welcome and hold on.

Lexa is a stormchaser (though she prefers the term ‘researcher’) and her Discovery Channel show just keeps getting bigger and bigger. She grew up dreaming about studying the sky, and at 28 she’s at the cusp of her career, reporting to her adoring fanbase all about the indomitable forces of nature. There’s no time for anything -or anyone- else.Clarke is a stormchaser (she has as much tattooed over her ribs) for the local Action News. Whip smart and committed to her research, she lives for the thrill every time the sky thunders. But breaking thru at 26 in the industry has her constantly trying to push the envelope, running straight into danger to get that perfect shot.Their field of work is small, and their clashing rivalry inevitable and fierce. But Clarke and Lexa are about to realize what they feel for each other can be just as strong and unpredictable as the storms they chase.

Earned It by assassinslover [Mature] (Ongoing- 21,177 Words) {12 Chapters} **

Lexa’s too enraptured by the paint splattered girl before her to care that said paint is also all over her favourite – formerly white – shirt. So enraptured, even, that it takes her way too long to notice the distraught look on the other girl’s face and the ruined canvas in her hands.Lexa, a dancer and a business major, offers to help Clarke re-do her ruined final project.

your hand in mine by geralehane [Mature] (Complete- 59,989 Words) {14/14 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing gdau series] *****

Clarke’s father is put on life support, and becoming Lexa Woods’s girlfriend is her last chance at paying his bills. It was supposed to be about money. Insensitive, immoral, impersonal. She was never supposed to fall in love with her.

Online Lifeline by ToriWritesStories [Mature] (Complete- 96,149 Words) {26/26 Chapters} ****

For Clarke, the universe of Twitter is a home, a place where she can be herself without the expectations of her friends and parents, and she keeps it secret for that reason. However, she isn’t expecting to meet a couple of people whom she begins to become pretty good friends with, and she definitely doesn’t expect to meet Lexa. And Lexa, who is on Twitter really only because her best friend Raven demands it be so, isn’t even interested in online friendships at all. That is, until she starts talking to Raven’s new friend “C” on Twitter, and finds herself captivated.

A Series of Avoidable Events by toolateintheday [Mature] (Ongoing- 165,213 Words) {22 Chapters} ****

Clarke Griffin works for renowned advertising company, Trikru Incorporated. She’s coasting through life, unsure of what she truly wants to do and settling for mediocrity. Its not her dream job but it pays the bills. It’s comfortable, familiar and what she needs. All that changes when the company bring in Lexa Woods, a new visionary, with the aim to shake things up. Clarke finds her entire existence unsettled by the arrival of her new boss who is as intriguing as she is intimidating. Can they put aside their differences and work together?

Something’s Electric In Your Blood by orangeyouglad8 [Mature] (Ongoing- 40,923 Words) {21 Chapters} ***

“You know, if you keep shocking me I might regret running off the train and giving you back your scarf.” It’s teasingly light and Clarke wonders if this girl can see the humor in her eyes and the smirk on her lips.

“Who says you’re not the one shocking me?” The slightest tilt of pouty lips.Clarke’s heart skips a beat, her lips already moving to continue the game. The banter. “I guess we’ll never know.”

The 300 by Bucklethorpe [Mature] (Complete- 66,305 Words) {16/16 Chapters} *****

Clarke just managed to burn 300 of Lexa's finest spruces.

Head Over Boots by cornchipmeteor [Mature] (Complete- 143,569 Words) {11/11 Chapters} *****

Clarke knew she had a lot to learn when she agreed to work on Woods Ranch. What she didn’t know was that, in addition to horseback riding and cattle corralling, she’d be learning about love.Lexa had zero tolerance for her new, inexperienced ranch hand Clarke, but she soon discovered that maybe life should be about more than just running the ranch. There’s humor! There’s conflict! There’s cute, fluffy cows! There’s even a happy ending!! Dual POV, because I can never choose just one.

Bend For Me by heyjayyay [Mature] (Complete- 123,746 Words) {23/23 Chapters} *****

Sloppy, Fratboy!Clarke lives with Octavia, who drags her to her yoga class one day. Clarke is the shit. She knows it. She’s cocky and doesn’t take crap from anyone, doesn’t bend for anybody, and refuses to break. Until now. AKA the one where Clarke thinks she’s smooth, but Lexa is smoother. Yoga AU (TW: Non-consensual touching/kissing)

Be the Lightning in Me by proudlyyours [Mature] (Ongoing- 121,904 Words) {11/14 Chapters} *****

Clarke Griffin was probably one of the most annoying people that Lexa had ever met. Something about her irritated Lexa as soon as she first laid eyes on her. Perhaps it was the fact that she’d only appeared at Arkadia University two months ago but she’d already made friends with more people than Lexa had spoken to in her entire school career. Maybe it was that she laughed a little too loudly while their professor was talking, drawing more eyes to her, Lexa’s included. Perhaps it was because that laugh was actually one of the prettiest things Lexa had ever heard.

When Clarke showed up for her first shift at the bar that Lexa had been enjoying working at since the beginning of the semester, Lexa wasn’t happy. She’d spent months being distracted by Clarke in their shared class but Clarke didn’t even recognise Lexa stood in the bar in front of her.

Of course she didn’t.

i built a home for you, for me (held on as tightly as you held onto me) by coat [Teen] (Complete- 37,627 Words) {4/4 Chapters} ***

As Lexa walks past, giving the dog a wide berth, she spots a figure beside it. A girl with braided blonde hair stretches out on the park bench, fingers tangled in the dog’s thick fur. She frowns softly. Usually the homeless people Lexa sees are older males with scruffy beards, tugging shopping carts filled with cans. But this girl on the bench, her golden hair streaming over her back, looks so out of place that Lexa almost stops. Most homeless tend to stay near the city, yet here she is, in the middle of the forest.

You See the Smile That’s On My Mouth (it’s hiding the words that don’t come out) by heartshapedcandy [Teen] (Complete- 48,677 Words) {4/4 Chapters} ****

It takes Clarke and Lexa about five seconds to fall in love, but it takes them way too long to realize it. This is that way-too-long.ora story in which Clarke and Lexa kiss too much and communicate too little.

still home by solinasolina [Unrated] (Complete- 49,338 Words) {8/8 Chapters} ***

Abby placed the package on the ground and took a step forward. There was a strong sense of familiarity coming from the young woman in front of her, but she just couldn’t quite figure out where from. She raised an eyebrow, “Have we met before?”

Lexa nodded immediately. “I use to live next door.” She points to her childhood home, “My parents–”Abby goes wide-eyed as she realised who was standing in front of her,

“Alexandria Woodson?!” she cut in.

“It’s just Lexa Woods now,” she smiled. “But yeah…”

You’re Fired (So Yeah You Win) by LaFlashdrive [Explicit] (Complete- 108,333 Words) {14/14 Chapters} ***

The one where Clarke draws Lexa’s name for the office Secret Santa, not knowing Lexa is the President of the company she works for. The gag gift she gets her is a bit… unconventional. A dildo. It’s a dildo.

Lover In Low Light by Chrmdpoet [Mature] (Complete- 85,157 Words) {? Chapters} *****

“You’re never going to love anyone the way you loved her. That kind of love, it only happens once in a lifetime, so if you’re waiting to feel that way again, I think you’re always going to be waiting.“or Five years after their relationship’s end, college sweethearts Lexa and Clarke find themselves in the same city again. Now, they are different people with different lovers and different lives, but neither ever fully let the other go. Will what they once had still be all they are looking for, or is it finally time to truly let go and move on?

[DELETED: It was publicated]

Southern Constellations by Themickeysays [Mature] (Complete- 55,549 Words) {12/12 Chapters} **

After they stop laughing Clarke blurts out, “It must be fate. It’s written in the stars somewhere for us to meet.”

Lexa just raises an eyebrow at her.

“What you don’t believe in fate? Or look to the stars?,” she asks in what’s supposed to be an ominous voice.

OR Lexa needs a ride home and Clarke needs some company to put off going home. What happens when these two strangers decide to ride down to the south from NYU? Hint: Gay Things™ OR The clexa roadtrip au where they are so extra making a 13 hour trip last 10 days, and manage to change their lives forever.

something broke by lexasforehead [Mature] (Incomplete- 63,457 Words) {21/22 Chapters} ****

“Ready to lose butt chin?” taunted Lexa.

“I’m actually saving that spot for you, forehead.” Clarke retorted.

You’ve Got Mail (She Loves Me) by orangeyouglad8 [Teen] (Complete- 50,210 Words) {30/30 Chapters} ****

What happens when big, bad, Fox Books opens up around the corner from the small, hipster, Arkadia Books? A Clexa spin on the classic You’ve Got Mail. Business rivals turned…?

The Three Truths by transientpermanence [Teen] (Complete- 74,485 Words) {17/17 Chapters} *****

It was always easy, until it wasn’t. [DELETED, but was reposted somewhere else, and it was not posted by the author but credit was given.]

In Our Own World by bouj525 [Mature] (Complete- 124,555 Words) {13/13 Chapters} [TW: Mentions of self-harm and attempted suicide] **

Lexa missed Clarke like one missed their favorite song after becoming deaf. Clarke missed Lexa like one missed their favorite color after becoming blind. Or The travel-the-world, online meeting, somehow long distance relationship AU.

Pie In the Sky by Lingering Lilies [Mature] (Complete- 46,874 Words) {13/13 Chapters} [TW: Domestic abuse] **

Trapped in a small town, dead-end waitressing job, and a loveless marriage, Clarke Griffin finds herself faced with an unwanted pregnancy. She finds solace only in her gift for baking pies and the company of a young doctor named Lexa Woodward.

Turning Down and Turning On Clarke Griffin by proseoflife [Teen] (Complete- 18,628 Words) {13/13 Chapters} ***

Clarke gets set up on a blind date. What she didn’t expect was to fall in love that same night. How many times can Clarke Griffin get turned down, and turned on, before she says ‘fuck it’ and walks away?

Artists Love Better by cissarego [Explicit] (Complete- 58,894 Words) {17/17 Chapters} ***

Modern AU - Clarke is an artist and Lexa, a photographer. After a not so friendly first encounter, they find themselves intrigued with each other. A timid friendship starts to grow into something more. Are they ready for this? A bit of fluff, hints of angst and a lot of Clexa! :)

It’s For Your Own Good by trying [Mature] (Ongoing- 43,596 Words) {9 Chapters} [TW: Homophobia and abuse] ***

Clarke’s hands were trembling slightly and she wrung them anxiously in front of her as she entered the main room. Plastic chairs were set up in a loose semi-circle in the centre of the room, most of them already occupied by the other campers.

Gay campers. Some of them attractive gay girl campers.

Fuck. When Clarke gets sent to conversion therapy camp, she thought everything she knew was over. Turns out, life is just beginning.

Come With Me by ToriWritesStories [Mature] (Complete- 89,319 Words) {24/24 Chapters} [Part of the complete With Me series] *****

Clarke Griffin spontaneously decides to go to London for a few days, with the hope that she can escape the problems happening in her life, and by chance meets a nice temporary companion, Lexa. A photographer on a commission that’ll take her across north and central Europe, Lexa is adventurous and stunning and fills Clarke with an adrenaline that she hasn’t felt in a long time.

And well… things happen.

blood rush in the hazy glow by firetestsgold [Mature] (Complete- 65,052 Words) {10/10 Chapters} ****

“The locals aren’t fans of college kids. This is their neighborhood bar. They can get…territorial.” Clarke studies the girl who stopped the fight before it began. Leaning back in her chair in the back of the bar, she’s all dark hair and dark eyeliner and dark alcohol. Clarke can see what he’s saying: the glare etched into her face is a clear warning for anyone who might step forward to her.But the vodka has thinned Clarke’s blood; she’s always been brazen and right now she can’t take that warning as anything less than a challenge.She grabs Octavia’s wrist and pulls her forward. “C’mon.”

Chemistry by class [Teen] (Ongoing one-shot collection- 17,227 Words) {7 Chapters} ****

"I’m going to set everything on fire."

A collection of Clexa one shots.

and we grow. by aos_skimmons [Teen] (Ongoing- 40,500 Words) {6/7 Chapters} ***

“I’m a mess,” Clarke says. You’re perfect, Lexa wants to say back. But instead, “No you’re not.” Clarke looks up then, giving Lexa a pointed look, as best as she can with already watery eyes.

“I’m pregnant, Lexa.”

This is the story of how two best friends raise a child together, and some how fall in love along the way.

Always You, Only You by zroe [Unrated] (Complete- 81,472 Words) {46/46 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing Imperfect series] **

Clarke and Lexa have been the best of friends for years, perhaps the closest of all in their group of friends. The connection, chemistry and comfort that they share is unmatched by any of their other friends. Everyone knows that when they’re both single things tend to happen between them. It’s a comfort thing. A no strings attached thing. A thing that they both silently understand. But do they really? They’re best friends who have the power to lift each other up, but also the power to tear each other down. What could possibly go wrong? There is one thing that will always be true - The one that brings out the best in you, will always be the one that can bring out the worst in you.

Note: If you’re looking for a quick Clexa fix, this might not be the story for you. These two dummies, will probably make you crazy.

After You by Chrmdpoet [Unrated] (Ongoing- 27,301 Words) {5 Chapters} ****

They grew up together in pieces, scattered here and there, like an unfinished puzzle. In moments, sometimes tender and sometimes turbulent. In both careful and careless connection.

They collided as two roads converging, two paths always intended to meet. [TW: Child abuse]

Cheap Thrills by ToriWritesStories [Mature] (Ongoing- 43,352 Words) {13 Chapters} ***

Clarke’s life is a mess: she hates her job, she’s always broke, she has a bad habit of having one night stands, and sometimes she drinks a little too much. Her best friends Octavia and Raven are getting all of their stuff together, and she’s being left behind. Somehow, she can’t manage to pull herself together, until she meets Raven’s new coworker Lexa, who happens to be everything she’s been missing.

a pleasant undoing by mopeytropey (scriptmanip) [Mature] (Complete- 104,225 Words) {12/12 Chapters} ****

Clarke is in denial. Octavia is grumpy. Lincoln is in love. Raven is awesome. Lexa is conflicted.

And everyone is potentially too invested in good beer.

Conscious Lover by notreallystraight [Mature] (Complete- 40,797 Words) {11/11 Chapters} **

Clarke and Finn have been dating for eleven years now and she no longer knows the difference between loving and being in love.

Clarke meets Lexa and her world gets twist-turned upside-down.

she’s got a way with words by commanderofraccoons [Teen] (Incomplete- 20,021 Words) {5/10 Chapters} **

“Excuse me,” a frustrated voice sighed into Clarke’s ear, “I need to get back to my place.”

Clarke turned around suddenly, feeling her cheeks redden as she took in the girl in front of her. Her brown hair was lazily tossed up in a bun, though no hairs seemed to be trying to escape the black elastic band. She was wearing a dark green shirt with Polis Park printed across it, and her matching shorts were high up her legs.

Christ, her thigh muscles.

The “Clarke visits a nearby amusement park with her friends, and she ends up thirsting over the cute girl who works there” AU

A Flower’s Dare by Bee_Charmer [Mature] (Complete- 54,440 Words) {19/19 Chapters} ***

The day of her wedding, Clarke Griffin expected a great number of things. She expected to love her dress, to love being surrounded by those she cared about most. More than anything, Clarke expected her best friend so smile his brightest when he saw her coming down the aisle.

What she did not expect was to lock eyes with the beautiful florist who would completely change her life.

The (loosely based) Imagine Me & You AU I couldn’t get out of my head.

And the rest is just typewritten by GoG (tarsbrain) [Teen] (7,679 Words) {Oneshot} **

A small sign hangs from the folding table reading ‘Stoic Poetry’ and Clarke can’t help but smile at the stranger’s presence at the market.

Or the one where Clarke is an artist with a booth at the downtown market, and Lexa and her typewriter make people cry with words.

It Takes As Long As It Takes by OForion4 [Teen] (Incomplete- 94,964 Words) {25 Chapters} *****

“Can you please just tell her this for me then? This one thing, and I’ll leave you alone. Please, Anya. Tell her I’ll wait for her every Sunday at 10 AM where we first met. Rain or shine, I’ll be there. Until she comes. To forgive me, or to tell me to stop because she’s moved on and found someone else and I’ve lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Please tell her that for me. Please.”

Modern AU where Clarke messes up and breaks Lexa’s heart. Clarke patiently waits for her every Sunday at the place they met, for 2 years, hoping to see those green eyes again. Will she come?

Astuary Queen by morningsound15 [Mature] (Ongoing- 17,748 Words) {2 Chapters} ****

Clarke snorted. “We get new doctors like every other month, O. This guy’s not gonna be any different.”

Octavia glared. “First of all, internalized misogyny, the new attending is a woman, not a man. Women can be doctors too,Clarke.” Clarke rolled her eyes, but Octavia soldiered on. “And secondly, did I already mention that she’s smoking hot? Because she is smoking hot. I heard Murphy talking about her with—”

Clarke scoffed. “Murphy’s a pig. He thinks everyone is hot.”

“I mean…” Octavia trailed off. “Well… yeah, duh, but I Googled her this morning and—” Octavia whistled under her breath, her eyes gleaming with teasing mirth. “I cannot state this enough, Princess. Doctor Woods is a fucking fox.”

Lion’s Roar by smallburrito [Mature] (Ongoing- 9,744 Words) {6 Chapters} **

Confronted with shocking truths about her past, Clarke Griffin has no choice but to run away. It just so happens she chooses the one week the circus is in town - and the rest is up to fate.

you’re my sunshine in the rain when it’s pouring (won’t you give yourself to me) by bearer_of_light [General Audiences] (Ongoing- 24,864 Words) {11 Chapters} ***

Clarke and Lexa are friends and have been friends for a very long time. What happens when one of them realizes they have feelings for the other?

Breathe For Me, Love by NightHeda [Mature] (Ongoing- 14,688 Words) {11 Chapters} *** [TW: Depression, Self-Harm, Mention of Self-Harm, Mention of Suicide Attempt, Mention of Suicide, Mental Health Issues]

Clarke is a patient in a psychiatric hospital and never in a million years would she have expected to meet the famous rockstar Lexa Woods there. And she isn't excited, either.

Or so she thought.

(Rated M, just in case.)

bang shui by AndiLand (AndiMarquette) [Unrated] (Complete- 215,743 Words) {30/30 Chapters} ****

Clarke Griffin is a med student at Polis University. She and Raven Reyes are roommates who just moved into an apartment closer to campus, but their neighbors have extremely loud marathon sexy times and Clarke is just not getting the rest she needs. She runs into one of the neighbors -- Lexa Woods, a grad/law student -- and tells her to please move her bed away from the wall. Which is embarrassing, yes, but anything could result from that type of conversation...

FAKE DATING/ ARRANGED MARRIAGE

i’ll try my best (how much do i invest?) by babytobin_horse [Unrated] (Complete- 26,007 Words) {6/6 Chapters} ****

Lexa can never say no to Clarke, and that’s the problem. (or: fake dating au)

We Were Pretending, and Then We Weren’t by aos_skimmons (Complete- 20,451 Words) {2/2 Chapters} **

Who knew a one-night stand could lead to a free trip to Alaska and a girlfriend.

Our Hearts (Have Minds of Their Own) by EffortlesslyOpulent [Mature](Complete- 103,319 Words) {15/15 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing Our Hearts series] *****

Clarke is NOT going back to another family reunion without a fake girlfriend to shut everyone up. Lexa, her neighbor and best friend, needs powerful clients like the Griffins for her up and coming business.How inconvenient that they accidentally fall head-over-heels for each other in the process. It’s a fake dating Rom-Com.

Cold Case by crazywisdom [Mature] (Complete- 38,409 Words) {8/8 Chapters} ***

Undercover cop AU: Once Wells Jaha is ratted out by a mole within the police force, DCI Anya decides it’s time to send two out in the field – Detectives Clarke Griffin and newcomer Detective Lexa Woods – to end this RED, Cage Wallace and Dr. Tsing business once and for all. Their covers? A loved-up lesbian couple.

the break upper by 100hearteyes [Mature] (Ongoing- 91,242 Words) {21/24 Chapters} ***

Clarke Griffin doesn’t have the most honourable job ever: she makes couples break up for a living. She unmasks the liars, the cheaters, and the deceivers. Marital justice, one might wishfully call it — and she gets paid for it. Clarke’s only rule: don’t fall in love with the target.alsoLexa Woods has the perfect life, with the perfect job, the perfect friends, and the perfect fiancé. Problem? Said fiancé is a man — and Lexa is kind of sort of totally a lesbian.

Bated Breath by thedeadflag [General Audiences] (Complete- 22,293 Words) {4/4 Chapters} ***

Clarke was counting down the hours until she’d achieved a hard-won month-long reprieve of driving Octavia to Lincoln’s, having been her best friend’s designated driver for months. But then she meets Lexa, manages to get them both into a mess, and ends up owing the woman a favor. Yet, Clarke still wouldn’t mind time slowing down a little bit for as long as Lexa’s with her A modern ‘Fake dating’ AU.

Till Death Do Us Part by Stubborn_Teen [Mature] (Incomplete- 191,716 Words) {14 Chapters} *****

“So you’re my bride to be? Not what I expected at all.” Clarke comments and Lexa didn’t know whether to be offended or flattered since Clarke was giving her a pretty curious look - nothing too sinister.

“Alexandria was it? What kind of name is that?” Okay, Lexa was offended.

“You’re one to talk, Clarke.”

How To Lose Someone In 10 Days by Jaansche [Mature] (Complete- 103,268 Words) {16/16 Chapters} ***

Clarke Griffin is an artist and player who, to win against her best friend Raven, bets that she can make anyone fall in love with her in 10 days. Lexa Woods has been assigned to write an article on “How to Lose Someone in 10 days.”

My Heart For A Minute by MsDorisDaisy [Mature] (Complete- 166,909 Words) {22/22 Chapters} ****

Nine years after Jake’s tragic but heroic death, Clarke and Abby have finally gotten their lives back on track thanks to the unconditional love and support of family matriarch, Lillian Walters. As unfortunate as it seems for Clarke, she soon finds herself on the business end of her grandmother’s meddling when the aging woman adds a pre-death condition to her living will: Clarke will be gifted enough money to buy her own art gallery when she gets married to one Miss Alexandria Abigail Woods, the one girl in the world whom Clarke actually legitimately cannot stand.

a crown seldom enjoyed by onemilliongoldstars [Mature] (Ongoing- 29,373 Words) {5/25 Chapters} ***

To maintain the fragile peace between north and south, Clarke of House Tyrell is sent to live in Winterfell as an act of faith between the two kingdoms. There, she is put under the protection of the first queen in the north, Queen Lexa of House Stark, Daughter of Wolves. A woman draped in steel and silver, wolves at her heels and rumoured to be a manifestation of the fury of the old gods; Clarke refuses to be awed be her quiet violence and cold smile. Instead of fostering unity, the meeting of the wolf and the rose lights a spark that spreads through the rest of Westeros, threatening to burn it to the ground.

HIGH SCHOOL

Catch Me, I’m Falling by effortlesslyoppulent and samkomtrashkru [Mature] (Complete- 288,841 Words) {24/24 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing catch me series] ******

Lexa Woods is Arkadia High’s brand new varsity quarterback star, badass and adored by all. Clarke Griffin is a model student who dreams of getting an art scholarship. With Lexa’s arrogance and Clarke’s stubborn tendencies, they never thought they’d be compatible, much less soul mates. But as fate would have it, Clarke becomes Aden’s tutor, and she and Lexa fall infuriatingly, helplessly in love with each passing day.

OR: The HSAU where Aden plays cupid with Clarke, Lexa, and all of their friends, and ends up watching practically all of them fall for each other. (Another one that if you haven’t read, seriously, just read it)

Dynamite With A Laser Beam by TDD [Teen] (Ongoing- 129,636 Words) {16 Chapters} ****

When Clarke’s high school, Arkadia High, merges with Polis Secondary School, Clarke and her friends are faced with old enemies and the opportunity of new friendships. Clarke needs to figure out how to fit in with the soccer team and its captain while trying to win over the most beautiful girl she’s ever seen. It’s not easy being Clarke Griffin, especially when she has a tendency to make life harder for herself. Despite all of that, there’s no stopping her as long as she has her friends by her side- who are just as reckless as she is.

All That You Got (Skin to Skin, Oh My God) by Dreamsaremywords [Mature] (Ongoing- 68,659 Words) {14/15 Chapters} ***

Anya burst into laughter. “Wait, wait, wait a minute. You and Clarke grew up together, Clarke is oblivious but you’re totally aware of your feelings- super GAY feelings-and your dad being a pastor complicates things, but you guys are like magnets and you can’t stay away from each other, even though you have no idea what the hell you’re doing, and then you don’t even talk about it. You spend way too much time thirsting and not enough actually being honest with each other and with yourselves. So, to get this straight- you’re not.”

Lexa deadpanned her. “Clearly.”

I Meant to Ask You by fairytaleslayer [Teen] (Complete- 41,914 Words) {15/15 Chapters} ***

Clarke Griffin and Lexa Woods have been best friends since Clarke’s mom moved three doors down from Lexa and her father. They’ve also been in love with each other since before they knew what it meant.

Down Came the Rain by almostfantasia [Teen] (Complete- 30,958 Words) {3/3 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing Down Came the Rain series] ****

Their paths have no reason to cross. That is, until a torrential downpour leaves them both caught at a bus stop with only one umbrella between them, forcing their lives together. Lexa, the private school student from a sheltered family. Clarke, the teenage runaway with no home to call her own. They make an unlikely pair. Friendship doesn’t come easily, but when it does, is that ever going to be enough for either of them?

The Days of Our Love [series] by MsDorisDaisy ****

Lift Me, Catch Me by ToriWritesStories [Mature] (Complete- 104,598 Words) {20/20 Chapters} [Part of the completed Lift Me, Catch Me series] ****

Settling into a small town in Florida, and living with an uncle she barely knows, is hard enough for Clarke even when she’s dating who she believes to be one of the greatest guys at school. It gets immensely harder when a New Year’s Eve party reveals what kind of guy her now ex-boyfriend really is. Now almost entirely alone, Clarke falls into a new friend group, a group of girls who couldn’t care less about her past, her sexuality, anything. One of those girls in particular catches Clarke’s attention quite well, and as Clarke gets to know her, it’s like pieces of herself are being lifted and pieced back together into a version of herself stronger than the way she was even before her life got so messed up.

Something Tragic by heyjayyay [Mature] (Complete- 112,823 Words) {25/25 Chapters} ***

When they met, it was not of their own accord. In fact, they probably never would have crossed paths if it wasn’t for the project. They were juniors and Lexa was the quiet, new girl. Having to move in with her uncle, Gustus, after the fire was probably one of the most difficult things she had to ever endure. Tragic, really. Life always seemed to turn out that way for the brunette.

L’arirvée des papillons by TheWorldAndTheEmpress [Explicit] (Incomplete- 51,495 Words) {13/14 Chapters} *****

Clarke Griffin is on top of the world, admired by the entire school. Everyone, that is, except for outsider Lexa Woods. Lexa’s indifference to her is the one thing that Clarke cannot stand, and she makes it her life’s mission to torment the other girl. But when Clarke takes it one step too far, she’s forced to partner up with Lexa for a project. Soon, she’ll realize just how little she really knows about Lexa, and about herself, as it turns out all she really wants is for Lexa to notice her. or Clarke falls head over heels for the last person whe would expect.

Molihua by BrittzandTana (ToriWritesStories) [Mature] (Complete- 118,421 Words) {38/38 Chapters} ****

Clarke has been through a lot through the summer before her junior year, and when she comes back to school, she’s changed. As she begins to feel like a billion pieces falling apart, she finds a special person to hold her together and treat her like the beautiful flower of a girl that she is. (Jasmine Flower - Mo Li Hua).

WAR/ VETERAN/ SPY/ ASSASSIN

Friend or Foe by icherishpotatoes [Explicit] (Ongoing- 20,472 Words) {9 Chapters} ** [TW: Violence, drug addiction, PTSD, mentions of rape]

Clarke Griffin gets kidnapped in one of her doctors without borders visits to South America. A ransom is demanded in return for her safety by a rebel army known as Azgeda. Lexa Woods is an undercover agent in the rebel army whose job just got a lot worse. Or Lexa spent a year infiltrating Azgeda and gaining their trust only for her mission status to change: Protect Senator Abigail Griffin’s daughter Clarke Griffin while maintaining your cover. Rescue mission pending upon failed negotiations.

Mrs. & Mrs. Woods by knich94 [Mature] (Complete- 95,958 Words) {39/39 Chapters} ****

After five (or six) years of happiness together, ordinary couple Clarke and Lexa Woods find themselves stuck in a rut. However, unknown to each other, they are both deadly, highly paid assassins working for rival companies. After a hit gone wrong, they discover that they are each other’s next target. Their secret lives (and they) collide explosively.

Or… The Mr. and Mrs. Smith AU featuring all your favorite characters, humor, fluff, angst, and references to canon and the crazy ideas this awesome fandom developed. Clexa centered and Clexa endgame! The first few chapters are a little slow but the action quickly picks up :D (TW: Violence and Torture)

Good Morning, Afghanistan by cornchipmeteor [Mature] (Complete- 113,461 Words) {18/18 Chapters} *****

Staff Sergeant Clarke Griffin, US Air Force. Sergeant Lexa Carey, US Marine Corps. Afghanistan is already dangerous enough without their feelings getting in the way. But let’s be real, these ladies are experts at falling in love in a war zone. (TW: Violence, PTSD)

The Long Walk by Diaph [Mature] (Ongoing- 57,578 Words) {22/25 Chapters} ***

Lt. Lexa Woods finally makes it home for Thanksgiving in far worse state than she left after doing the very thing she warns all her men never to do, be a hero. She finds herself in the hands of Dr. Clarke Griffin, the young and high-achieving Neurology specialist who is determined to get the soldier to walk and talk again with a new surgical procedure.

It’s during the mind-numbing nights spent in the hospital far away from home that the sarcastic soldier charms her way into more than just the doctor’s medical observations. (TW: PTSD)

Prisoner 319 by ur_the_puppy [Teen] (Ongoing- 141,468 Words) [Part of the Ongoing The Others series] {8/10 Chapters} *****

After being a prisoner in Azgeda Tower for over a year, Clarke Griffin is suddenly transferred to a new prison - Polis. Commanded by Lexa, the youngest and most ruthless Head of Polis Prison in decades, Clarke finds herself in a completely new environment - with no friend's or clue of what's going on Clarke must navigate her way through an unknown world. All the while holding her secrets close to her chest. It wouldn't help to have people know that she was a highly trained assassin who was supposed to be dead.

a prison au with a supernatural twist. raven is sarcastic, octavia is a human fireball, clarke is a deadly mess and lexa is, well, very gay

(TW: Violence, Torture)

Lancelot by almostafantasia [Mature] (Ongoing- 11,399 Words) {3/14 Chapters}

Lexa Woods, an impeccably dressed British secret agent for the covert Kingsman organisation, whose latest mission sees her sneaking through the corridors of the White House in the middle of the night, finds herself having to seduce the daughter of the newly elected President of the United States in a bid to save the world. It’s a surprise to Lexa when she ends up falling for her target as fast as she does, meanwhile Clarke doesn’t expect her gorgeous date for an international political gala dinner to drag her into a world of thrill and danger where one wrong move could cause a global disaster.

PAST/ ROYALTY/KNIGHT

The Queen Consort by MadeInSpace [Mature] (Ongoing- 13,391 Words) {3 Chapters} ***

As the music swelled around them to announce the festivities ahead, Clarke only noticed how quickly the Queen dropped her hand.

What heart’s ease must queens neglect by thrace [Mature] (Complete- 83,285 Words) {8/8 Chapters} *****

Lexa is going to drag her country into the modern age kicking and screaming if she has to. Enter Clarke Griffin, United Nations election observer.

most ardently by onemillliongoldstars [Teen] (Ongoing- 32,074 Words) {5 Chapters} *****

Clarke Griffin has been forced to abandon her name and her family. She is desperately hiding in her new role as lady’s maid to Lady Lexa, fumbling through her duties and hoping to become invisible, when she realises that her heiress mistress is caught firmly under the thumb of her overbearing uncle. As Lexa suffocates under the expectations of her remaining family, she and Clarke slowly realise that they may be each other’s safe haven.

or: Clarke is hiding a secret while struggling to seem like an experienced lady’s maid for Lexa, who is painfully glad for a friend.

Suffragette by William89 [Mature] (Complete- 37,553 Words) {10/10 Chapters} **

Historical AU – London, 1913. After bombing the Prime Minister’s house, suffragette Lexa is being chased by the police. Lady Abby Griffin offers her a way out: she needs a maid to accompany her sick daughter Clarke to their estate in Lancashire, where she is supposed to live for a year. Even though she hates everything about the aristocratic life, Lexa has no choice but to pretend she’s Lady Clarke Griffin’s new maid, which proves to be a hard task when she finally meets the temperamental girl.

Suffrage by stringingwords [Mature] (Complete- 102,370 Words) {27/27 Chapters} ****

The 20th century has just begun. London is bustling with budding inventions, grand soirees, rumors of war, and inequality. Growing tired of being considered property, women are rallying across the country in favor of their right to vote.Clarke, Raven, and Octavia are scrappy suffragists determined to make the change happen. They find an unexpected ally in Lady Alexandra Woolcott, a noblewoman in the enemies’ camp.

Or the fic about Clexa taking down the patriarchy you may have known you needed.

Cigarettes In the Theatre by natshana [Mature] (Ongoing- 70,728 Words) {14 Chapters} *****

They close at eight but the small, pouty frown which adorns the girl’s lips and the gentle crease that forms between her brows makes the late hours seem all the more worth it. Of course that’s what she tells herself anyway, nevermind the dwindling night sky which casts the shop in a soft glow and makes the girl’s vibrant eyes dance like a forest under stars.

or the 1983 movie store AU where Lexa is a small gay nerd who loves video games and Clarke is a smitten cashier for the awkward girl in wire frame glasses. (cause what’s better than 80’s wlw and video games)

Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum by jaimeajamais [Mature] (Ongoing- 117,755 Words) {18 Chapters} *** [TW: violence, slavery]

Lexa is the Empress of Rome. Clarke is an Amazon, the new leader of a conquered people. When Clarke is captured and taken back to Rome as the Empress’s slave, she and Lexa form a complicated relationship. And as always, much more than the fate of their own hearts is at stake.

The Hunters Chosen by unicyclehippo [Unrated] (Complete- 192,881 Words) {12/12 Chapters} [part of the ongoing In The Hands Of Gods series] *****

tortall au: Lexa of Haryse only wants to be a knight and, though a handful of girls have followed Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan's example in the last five years, many challenges remain for a girl page. Especially one who has the hand of a God upon her.

SPORTS/ DANCE

Individual Medley by nutalexfanfic [Mature] (Ongoing- 87,699 Words) {13 Chapters} ****

Clarke meets 3x Olympic gold medalist in swimming, Lexa Woods, at a celebration party for USA after the conclusion of the Games. It’s supposed to be just sex, but then they accidentally fall in love. (TW: PTSD)

Ain’t That A Kick In The Head by greyscalerainbows [Mature] (Incomplete- 90,210 Words) {20/21 Chapters} ***

On an abrupt, ill-advised vacation from Los Angeles, Clarke trips right into Lexa Woods, a local shop owner in faded red shorts. It starts with surfboards and a jellyfish sting.

Dance In the Lion’s Den by Tanagariel [Mature] (Complete- 132,301 Words) {20/20 Chapters} *****

Lexa Woods, young entrepreneur, has forged herself of steel. She sees life as something that has to be survived. Closing off her feelings she fights to be the best, even when she feels so alone. Moving through life without hope and a relationship that is not enough, Lexa will find herself attracted to a woman who will turn her world upside down. Clarke Griffin, a professional dancer, who has lost so much yet hopes that dance won’t ever leave her behind, keeps fighting to live her life to the fullest, even in her loneliness. She will find that sometimes looks deceive and that she shouldn’t be so quick to judge a book by its cover. Particularly when it’s someone as aloof and cold as Lexa.The businesswoman and the dancer will clash in a battle of wits and stubbornness, fighting the other until there is only one left. Except that on their dance journey, their feelings will begin to change and their life won’t ever be the same; now the only thing left is to see if they can dance in the lion’s den.

Finding Purpose by Derivative [Explicit] (Ongoing- 36,837 Words) {12 Chapters} **

Clarke has been dealing with a depression for quite some time, and Raven keeps suggesting she should join her to one of her kickbox classes. Clarke has refused on multiple occassions, but since several months of therapy, going out getting blatantly drunk and fucking random strangers hasn’t exactly helped, she reluctantly decides to give in.

Raven’s instructor is… intriguing.

Trigger warning: depression is a fucking dungeon, isn’t it? The story is going to take off lightly, but please mind the tags. It’s going to be a heady mix of humor, fluff(, smut) and pret-ty heavy shit. Consider yourselves warned, and please, take care of yourselves.

Touch or Carry by paint_the_brain [Mature] (Ongoing- 42,671 Words) {29 Chapters} ***

An Olympic Beach Volleyball AU

The shots we didn’t take by TheFrenchWriter [Mature] (Ongoing- 51,577 Words) {9/25 Chapters} ****

It’s been ten years since the Arkadia Strikers have hoisted the Jaha Cup. Clarke Griffin knew it when she was drafted, kept it in mind as she ascended to the starting goalie position and used it to fuel her will as a key player of the team, supporting her teammates until the second round of the playoffs last season, where they faced a grueling loss to the TonDC Shockwave after only five games. The team is now in desperate need of a player that will light a spark in the offensive line, a player that will restore the long-lost identity of the team and prove that it still deserves the famous nickname “power strikers”. Alexandria Woods, first line center and hockey extraordinaire, might be just the player. The twist: anyone who has seen her play knows that Lexa Woods has an ego bigger than her head and a superstar, cocky attitude that, although did well with her previous team, has brought her quite the reputation across the league.

holy ground. by lordvoldyfarts [Mature] (17,120 Words) {Oneshot} ***

Clarke comes back into the room, her face still red, but no longer looking angry. “One more time,” she says and Lexa doesn’t respond. She just gets into position. She stands in front of the mirror and Clarke comes up behind her. Her hands on her hips, similar to the way they had been that night, and Lexa feels the same rush of attraction flow through her that she did then. She tries to push it down, to pretend it’s not there, but Clarke’s grip is tight and impossible to ignore. She feels her muscles tense. “Relax,” Clarke whispers in her ear and there’s a chill that goes down her spine. She’s surprised when she feels her shoulders loosen. “Don’t think so much, Lexa,” Clarke continues and Lexa takes a deep breath.

or the one where lexa is a principal dancer with the boston ballet who lives life with her eyes closed and clarke, a new dancer from anaheim, opens them. dancer!au.

Pas de Deux by onemilliongoldstars [Explicit] (Ongoing- 51,540 Words) {9 Chapters} ***

Lexa, the country’s most sought after young dancer, keeps away from the cameras, focussing on her art form. She is single minded in her determination to be the best, until a clumsy, out of place girl wanders into her dance class and shatters her perfectly ordered life with snarky remarks and sloppy insteps. Unfortunately, Clarke is not all she seems and everything she knows could come crumbling down around her thanks to hot hands guiding positions and lies whispered between cotton sheets.orBallet dancer Lexa meets young journalist Clarke Griffin and everything starts spinning faster.

black ribbons by CareyElizabeth [Mature] (Ongoing- 65,940 Words) {11/12 Chapters} [Part 1 of the Ongoing Series two’s company] ***

‘You hit me in the face. So not only am I the best choreographer in the world, you owe me. And I need you to chill out.’ Anya came to crouch beside Lexa and squeezed her shoulder bracingly. ‘You’re the best. We all know it. And if you dance like you’re scared all the time, you’ll lose that. You have a gift. Don’t screw it up, not now, not like this.’

(Lexa is a ballerina back from injury. Clarke is a fashion designer commissioned to do the costumes. Anya is a choreographer who thrives on awkward interactions.)

dance like nobody’s watching by Homosexy [Mature] (Ongoing- 20,441 Words) {5/10 Chapters} ***

Lexa stuffed her phone, ID and some money into her pockets. Gave her hair a quick ruffle and took a deep breath.

Lexa is a gymnast who's starting to get successful at the international level. The problem? She's also very, very gay. One day, the night after Worlds, shortly after her eighteenth birthday, Lexa decides to take a chance at going out to a club. And it all starts there.

CELEBRITY/ PRESIDENT

Like an Open Wound by Tanagariel [Mature] (Ongoing- 97,825 Words) {15/25 Chapters} ***

Famous musician Clarke Griffin, known in the industry as Wanheda, is in the process of relaunching her career with a new image, to leave behind the negativity and bad press surrounding her. She’s going on tour very soon, so her manager decided to hire a team, to Clarke’s dismay, with the sole intent to keep Clarke safe from her extremely ravenous fanbase.Enter Lexa Woods, who has been tasked to watch over the very wild rock star. Finding a stubborn woman who was free-spirited had been nothing but a challenge for the disciplined security expert. Suffice to say that they were going to clash.Clarke and Lexa will spend the whole tour together and in the process learning that they aren’t so different after all. That maybe, they can find a common ground between being in the spotlight and the shadows, leaving both their hearts exposed, like an open wound.

oh, dear, you look so lost by Jax (jacquienicole105) [Mature] (Ongoing- 44,649 Words) {8 Chapters} ****

Clarke is running home to Boston from an abusive marriage and an unhappy life. Lexa is the first female in the MLB, out to break barriers and prove the sports world wrong. Neither are looking for a relationship but could a chance encounter change that? (TW: Mentions of domestic abuse)

You’re The Only Love I Found (and I’m Hoping That You’ll Stay) by awkwardrainbow [Mature] (Ongoing- 215,139 Words) {13/14 Chapters} ****

Clarke is the “straight” pretty girl that Lexa ends up working with on the set of their new television show. Their characters are meant to play a long slow burn romance and because Clarke Griffin is not only straight, but also has never played a roll like this before, she seeks guidance from Lexa whom is an open lesbian. The brunette willingly takes the girl under her wing and they begin a fast moving friendship. What Clarke doesn’t realize is how easy she is to fall in love with, or how easy it is to fall in love with Lexa.

Commander In Chief by steklir (SilentStars) [Teen] (Complete- 26,430 Words) {4/4 Chapters} ***

Christmas, 2020:

United States President Lexa Woods has recently been re-elected for her second term, has three Nobel Peace Prizes under her belt, and a 97% public approval rating. None of this, in any way, prepares her for the pretty girl her sister brings home to the White House for Christmas.

Quality Ingredients by HurricaneJane [Mature] (Ongoing- 199,180 Words) {26 Chapters} *****

Executive Chef Lexa “The Commander” Woods is working in her latest establishment in her home town of Portland, Maine. She is about to start conceptualizing her next restaurant and only has one rule for herself during the process: No more girls. When an accident at the restaurant lands her in Dr. Clarke Griffin’s ER, she second guesses why she ever had that rule in the first place. Lexa’s head bartender, Lincoln, is obsessed with a divey restaurant on the other side of town run by Octavia. It doesn’t take long for the small town to get even smaller when Lexa starts running into Clarke everywhere. Maybe rules were meant to be broken.

Clexa Goes to Hollywood by ivywoman63 [Mature] (Complete- 113,797 Words) {21/21 Chapters} ***

Modern AU Clexa. Clarke is an Emmy winning actress starring in a cable scifi series, who’s fictional character just lost her lesbian love interest to an untimely death. Lexa is a landscaper by day fan fic/scifi writer by night. Fun, funny, bantering, lighthearted, Rom Com

Love Letters and Coffee Grounds by JLaw1105 [Mature] (Complete- 67,674 Words) {8/8 Chapters} ****

Lexa wasn’t sure what it was that drew her into the little coffee shop on the corner. Maybe it was because it was less than a block away from the front door of her new building. Maybe it was because it wasn’t a Starbucks or some other large chain coffee front that cared more about profit than the flavor of their beans. Maybe it was the warm air filled with the soft scent of coffee, chocolate and cinnamon. But likely, definitely, it was the defiant little corner of the store that loudly rebelled against the norm.It was early November and everything around Lexa was filled with red and greens or whites and blues. It screamed of Christmas and Hanukkah. Of buying gifts and consumer driven profit. But the back corner of the coffee shop was filled with oranges and reds and browns with a rather large sign written in an angry scrawl that said

“It’s not even Thanksgiving yet, assholes!”

There was just something about it that, to Lexa, felt poetically beautiful.

Player Two Has Entered the Game by billet_doux [Mature] (Complete- 86,015 Words) {15/15 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing Clexa YouTube AU series] ***

Alexandria Woods, an up and coming YouTube star, novelist, and public figure for LGBT+ rights, is watching her career skyrocket before her eyes. Clarke Griffin, a broke college student, is falling in love with the pretty girl behind the screen. OR; the one where Lexa is a dork who plays video games and vlogs for money, Clarke’s thirst has no chill, Bellamy is a protective brother bear, and Octavia Blake is the matchmaker sent from heaven for everyone but herself.

in love war and politics by centuriesofexistence [Mature] (Ongoing- 131,819 Words) {16 Chapters} ****

It’s the most watched Senate race around the country, and Clarke Griffin is running one hell of an underdog campaign against the favored Cage Wallace. But she has a secret weapon that might save the campaign–and a secret that might ruin it. And both are named Lexa Ward.

Floor It by smttnpegasus (butwhowouldbuythecupcakes) [Mature] (Complete- 53,261 Words) {20/20 Chapters} ***

Lexa is a world class gymnast, or at least she used to be before she shockingly walked out before her floor performance at Worlds knocking Team USA completely out of medal contention. When she gets on the wrong side of the law she is forced back into a world she had run from for over a year.

The Blind Side of Love by lexawillrise [Mature] (Complete- 188,410 Words) {26/26 Chapters} *****

celeb/artist au aka Lexa is a famous actress who - using a fake name - emails Clarke after falling in love with one of her drawings, and accidentally befriends her. Only, Clarke has no idea who this ‘Alexandria Nicole’ really is. *This is a book-conversion originally written by Ingrid Díaz.*

easier to be by solinasolina [Unrated] (Complete- 149,220 Words) {24/24 Chapters} ***

Lexa Woods made history as the youngest secret service agent to be appointed to the president’s security detail. Alongside Special Agents Anya Carson, Lincoln Black and Gustus Hollows, their duty was to protect Madam President Abby Griffin on a day-to-day basis. Lexa was good at her job. She loved what she did – or at least she learned to. So when she’s reassigned to Clarke’s security detail you can understand her reservations. But she figures it’s just six weeks. Six weeks and things will go back to normal. or the president’s daughter au

Royal Viridian by ayokidd [Mature] (Ongoing- 87,824 Words) {8 Chapters} ***

Lexa is an Australian actress cast for her role of Alycia Taylor in the new LGTBQ series Royal Viridian.Clarke is the illustrator of the project and they’re in pre-production of the show. Indra, the art director of Heda Production Co. makes Clarke attend the preliminary read through, where she finds herself a little unprepared. Clarke is a confident woman who is sure of herself but that all falls to the wayside when Lexa causes her internal wiring to short circuit.

Exception to the Rule by CorvusCorvidae [Mature] (Ongoing- 23,622 Words) {5 Chapters} **

Lexa’s only been working at the White House a week, but already she’s found herself on Clarke Griffin’s radar; and now she’s on it, she’s not sure she wants off it.

Or, White House staffer meets President’s daughter

OMEGAVERSE/ WEREWOLVES

Imprint (I Was Made For Loving You) by Jude81 and Kendrene [Explicit] (Ongoing- 12,101 Words) {4 Chapters} ***

The one where after the betrayal at the Mountain Clarke has the mating bite removed and the link to Lexa severed. Things of course don’t go as planned.

Young Gods by N1ghtWr1ter [Explicit] (Complete- 233,284 Words) {33/33 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing Badlands series] ****

They will go to war tomorrow with fresh mating bites on their necks; tonight they find solace in each other’s arms, and in the knowledge that the only thing that can part them now is death.Everyone knows that Commander Lexa betrayed Wanheda and the Skaikru at the Mountain. Only she and Clarke know that she also abandoned her mate. Following the events of the Mountain, Clarke has disappeared into the wilderness, seeking what peace she can find in solitude. But war is brewing, and soon she will have no choice but to face her mate, and the consequences of their decisions before and after.

Above and Below by DaniJayNel [Mature] (Complete- 100,065 Words) {43/43 Chapters} ****

Clarke Griffin is known as the Slayer. When the Organization discover that the werewolves have an Alpha, and that they have traveled to the front-lines of Mount Weather, they are quick to send Clarke with a squad to assassinate it. Clarke is eager to claim more werewolf blood. But things don’t go according to plan, and Clarke realizes too late that the werecreatures had set a trap. The Alpha has revealed themself but for one reason only: to capture the human’s most formidable weapon, Clarke.

Monsters That We Hide by KM47044 [Mature] (Ongoing- 53,240 Words) {15 Chapters} ***

“I have a solution to your mating issue.”

“So I’ve gathered, but at what price?”

Lexa leans onto the table with her elbows. It reminds Clarke of that moment in a movie where the super villain makes a diabolical offer and the superhero has no choice but to agree. “Mate me instead.” ----

Or Lexa offers Clarke a deal, but making a deal with the devil always comes back to bite those in the ass. Lexa is known for losing control; for going feral when in wolf form. Clarke knows from experience that is something not to take lightly. But looking at Lexa… she has to be lesser of the two evils.

Right?

Of Wolves and Men by ur_the_puppy [Teen] (Ongoing- 149,603 Words) {6 Chapters} ****

All it can take is a single moment, a single second, and with it everything you've ever known can be destroyed. After being bitten three years ago, Clarke has had to adjust to a complete derailing of her life. Abandoning her dreams of becoming a doctor in fear of what she could do, she hides away in the small town of Polis with her best friend Raven. It's a humans only town. That is, until a girl is killed, and Clarke suddenly realises she's not the only werewolf that exists.

werewolf au where clarke has no idea the extent of what she is and lexa really shouldn't be falling for a mutt.

UNIVERSITY/ COLLEGE/ BOARDING SCHOOL/ ROOMMATE/ TEACHER

Don’t Walk on Ice (No Matter How Nice) by lecksa [Unrated] (Ongoing- 68,895 Words) {13 Chapters}**

Clarke begins to question her decisions as she finds herself strolling across campus in the middle of the night. She just needed some space and time to clear her head. However, a brunette armed with an acoustic guitar and a contagious smile tops the list of things she never expected to find this evening. Now her mind is anything but clear.

She by the fooliam [Mature] (Complete- 65,983 Words) {8/8 Chapters} *****

Her roommate looks at her sometimes and Clarke is never sure if they’re going to kill or kiss each other.

When Clarke Griffin forgets to complete her sophomore year residency application, she returns to college to find that they’ve paired her with the last roommate she ever expected to get.

The Dewey Decimal System is Not That Hard by MusicLurv [Teen] (Ongoing- 226,258 Words) {57 Chapters} ***

Lexa was just doing her job, trying to write a book at the same time. Clarke was just trying to get through school and become a doctor. They had probably crossed paths hundreds of times. But two papers, a thesis proposal, and lab work brings them together.

Open Windows, Open Hearts by Sheisme [Mature] (Complete- 89,258 Words) {22/22 Chapters} [Part of the Open Windows series] ***

Clarke comes home after her sophomore year of college to find she has a new neighbor, Lexa. Her interest in Lexa begins to grow. What makes things worse is that Clarke realizes her bedroom window looks directly into Lexa’s bedroom window. Eventually Lexa realizes the same thing. After some initial embarrassment, they decide to have some fun with it. Maybe a little too much fun.

Where There Is A Flame by eternaleponine [Mature] (Complete- 429,777 Words) {175/175 Chapters} [Part of the completed Where There Is A Flame series] *****

A modern/college AU for The 100, told in alternating chapters from Clarke and Lexa’s points of view.This is a slow build. VERY slow. But hey, at least they’ve finally met!n Updates on Sundays (Clarke) and Wednesdays (Lexa).Ratings, tags, and warnings subject to change as the story progresses. (TW: Non-consenual touching)

Run On Gasoline by eskimpertush [Explicit] (Complete- 115,579 Words) {35/35 Chapters} [Part of the Run On Gasoline series] *****

Clarke and Lexa did not meet under the best of circumstances. It also didn’t help that they’re both stubborn as hell and, given the chance, would never back down from a fight. But fate has a funny way of bringing people together. So they find themselves on the road, running away from their problems, hoping to get somewhere while heading nowhere in particular. Starts off as a sort of modern college AU but is really a road trip fic. Somewhat inspired by a novel called “Invisible Monsters” and a bunch of other random shit. This is a G!p Lexa fic because everybody is apparently doing one, and I happen to really like ‘em. (TW: Mentions of abuse)

do you feel us falling? (cause i feel us falling) by babytobin_horse [Unrated] (Complete- 34,924 Words) {6/6 Chapters} ****

Lexa looks down into her drink, attempting to hide a bashful smile. Her cheeks are slightly flushed and Clarke suddenly finds the whole sight helplessly endearing. How could this girl go from formal and proper and in control to shy and slightly reserved so quickly? Or: Clarke is pre-med and an artist while Lexa is somewhat of a college soccer superstar with a secret love for poetry (They’re both dumb and clueless, but they like each other anyway.)

Butterflies by Tabitha Craft [Mature] (Complete- 26,123 Words) {5/5 Chapters} ****

Clarke is constantly annoyed by Lexa Woods, the know-it-all who is always waving her hand in the air and correcting professors. Lexa is unimpressed with Clarke. They don’t like each other but somehow end up spending time together, and things change, progress, evolve. They’ll never be more than what they are because Lexa wants butterflies and Clarke doesn’t give her them. Clexa without instant attraction and unfathomable lust, with expectation versus reality. A different kind of love story.

Pristine by ToriWritesStories [Mature] (Complete- 92,843 Words) {28/28 Chapters} [Part of the completed Ameliorate series) ****

Clarke’s twenty-one, about to get her associates degree in art, and she and her friends just pitched their cash together to pay for an old, nearly abandoned warehouse to be their ultimate hangout zone. She’s comfortable with herself, pretty sure she’s more than a little gay, though not entirely, and ready for this next stage of her life. Lexa, on the other hand, is seventeen, starting her last year of high school and feeling not so comfortable with herself. She’s not sure if she likes boys, she’s not sure who she wants to be… Sure, she’s smart and her future is pretty set, but where’s the fun in that? When Lexa nearly hooks up with an older guy during what everyone seems to be calling her “rebellious phase”, she finds herself swept up in the life she’d rather be living, with a girl she’d very much like to be with. (Don’t worry fam, Lexa is gay AF)

Wanna Bet? by 100hearteyes [Mature] (Complete- 129,680 Words) {20/20 Chapters} ****

Lexa and Clarke don’t really fancy each other much. One of them is cold and rude, the other is sarcastic and imposing.Throw in a group assignment, two very different reactions to break-ups and Raven and Octavia’s terrible advice, and you got yourself a recipe for disaster. Or maybe something else entirely?

break your plans by pizzaoctavia [Mature] (Incomplete- 92,587 Words) {14 Chapters} **

Clexa college!AU: in which Clarke grows tired of hearing Octavia and Lincoln’s escapades in the next room, so Lincoln offers her his apartment for study. He fails to mention his heavily tattooed hockey player roommate in the process.

bathroom stalls and late night calls by unicyclehippo [Unrated] (Complete- 63,072 Words) {29/29 Chapters} [Part of the incomplete clexa texting au series] ****

Clexa Texting au on tumblr

the business of caring by coldmackerel [Mature] (Complete- 71,956 Words) {15/15 Chapters} *****

a public service announcement: the campus police would like to politely remind all students, well-wishers, and supporters of the university during this time of serial vandalism that painting on buildings without permission is still illegal. this has not changed no matter how ‘cool’ you think it is. vandalism has never been nor will it ever be ‘radical’, ‘sick’, or any version thereof.

-supervisor lexa woods

More Women Than Warriors by steklir (SilentStars) [Mature] (Complete-172,201 Words) {26/26 Chapters} ******

The first time Clarke sees the Head Girl she’s sitting on a throne, presiding over her dominion with a piercing stare and a crown of braids in her hair. Her warriors are spread at her feet, a multitude of them, all long-haired and wild and clad in identical brown regalia. There’s something of the sacred about her, like the crimson cloak draped across her shoulders and her divinity are one and the same. Or at least it feels that way. British girls’ boarding school AU. Obviously. (Another must read)

don’t wanna be your girl by faithtastic [Explicit] (Ongoing- 90,619 Words) {10/11 Chapters} ****

Lexa’s interning on a skin flick. She meets Clarke on set. Or: The adult movie AU/college AU no one asked for.

A Practiced Craft by StormFelt [Explicit] (Complete- 20,305 Words) {14/14 Chapters} ***

Set in a modern day alternate universe at Arkadia University, Dr. Lexa Woods, accomplished practiced lawyer, young up and coming head of the political science department seems to have her life together…until the new young art professor Clarke Griffin flips her world upside down.

Ending the (Prank) War by M_E_Scribbles [Mature] (Complete- 187,555 Words) {58/58 Chapters} **

The centuries old feud between the University of Polis and nearby Arkadia College has gone on long enough. When Clarke’s friends take the prank war too far she takes it upon herself to end it. She seeks out the illusive Heda, the president of the student body at Polis.

Before she has a chance to fully explain her side of things and propose an end to the pranks another nearby university takes aim at Arkadia, hoping to bring the school into its fold.

HOGWARTS/ WIZARDING WORLD

pills n potions (we’re overdosin’) by indragram [General Audiences] (Complete- 33,884 Words) {14/14 Chapters} ***

Clarke hates a lot of things, but most of all, she hates how she just had to be paired with such a stupid Ravenclaw know-it-all for every damn piece of work in this godforsaken dungeon.

The Magician’s Assistant by rhinomouse [Teen] (Complete- 107,653 Words) {26/26 Chapters} [Part of the ongoing Muggle Magic Tricks series] *****

Clarke Griffin was not going to let the fight against pureblood prejudice her Father believed in die with him. No she was about to pull a true muggle magic trick that the wizarding world won’t soon forget and like the best muggle magic the most interesting part is beneath the surface. Now you see it now you don’t. (First one does not introduce Lexa, second one does: VERY SLOW BURN)

the sky itself will carry me (back to you) by alyciaclebnam [Teen] (Complete- 38,798 Words) {7/7 Chapters} *****

“By the way, how does that work? You coming here when I call. Do you just… pop in and out of existence, or something?”

“It’s like a magical tether,” Lexa explains, ostensibly hesitant. “When you say my name, I feel a pull - right here, in my chest,” she says, drawing a circle around the skin over her heart. “Which is strange in itself, seeing as I no longer possess a beating heart. I can’t explain it, but I feel compelled to be wherever you are.”

“So it’s not just me,” Clarke says slowly, a hopeful expression taking over her previous frown. “There’s something more to you and I, isn’t there?” (or: Clarke is a seventh year student. Lexa is one of the Hogwarts ghosts. There’s a connection between them that Clarke doesn’t understand, but she is determined to figure it out.)

Those Icy Fingers Up and Down My Spine (That same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine) by DreamsAreMyWords [Mature] (Ongoing- 359,419 Words) {20/22 Chapters} *****

“Okay, well, the way I see it, you have two options. You can turn around and face the dragon again, or you can put on your big girl panties and go tell Blondie you’re in love with her. Your choice.” Lexa swallowed, wondering if the static crackling down her limbs and burning her fingertips was a lingering effect from riding the thestral or the feel of Clarke’s lips pressed to her own. She cleared her throat, staring back into Raven’s defiant gaze. “I think I will take the dragon,” she said firmly. Or: The Clexa Triwizard AU.

Spelling It Out by Geyranger [Mature] (Ongoing- 110,772 Words) {37/41 Chapters} ****

Clarke studied the twigs Lexa handed her for a second, holding them up to the light. Then she looked back up at Lexa. Earnest turned to mischief in her eyes.

“Thanks, Lexa. You’re a star.”

Then she disapparated with a loud bang, and Lexa was left staring into open air without a single twig. Or The HP AU where Clarke and Lexa are apprentices of competing wand makers, and are sent around the world to fetch materials for wand cores and somehow always manage to run into one another.

I wish I knew you before by toolateintheday [Mature] (Complete- 123,968 Words) {19/19 Chapters} *****

Clexa Hogwarts AU featuring all your favourite characters! Rated M for some language and possible sex in later chapters. Clarke is a Gryffindor and Lexa is a Slytherin, neither girl really likes the other but they are reluctantly thrown together in their fifth year at Hogwarts.

Forest green eyes pierced sky-blue ones and Clarke felt as though her stomach had dropped through the floor. If the braided hair and starch posture hadn’t given it away before now, those eyes were all the confirmation Clarke needed. Lexa Woods.

Fuck.

FANTASY/ MAGIC/ SUPERHERO/SUPERNATURAL

Princess of the Sky by fairytaleslayer [Teen] (Ongoing- 67,731 Words) {17 Chapters} ****

The Riders disappeared over a century ago, and with them, their dragons. But Clarke is thrust into the middle of a political war she didn’t know existed when she comes across a strange blue stone in the middle of the forest and bonds with the first dragon to hatch in a hundred years.

After tragedy strikes, she’s bent on revenge, but even with her mission, Clarke can’t get the mysterious, imprisoned Elf woman she sees in her dreams out of her mind. Clarke knows everything depends on rescuing her, she just doesn’t know why. (TW: Mention of torture)

do the stars gaze back by cassiniregio [Teen] (Complete- 36,721 Words) {5/5 Chapters} [Part of the just a handful of stardust series] ***

If Lexa is to win the heart of her true love, she must bring back a fallen star. But she’s wholly unprepared for the star to be a beautiful girl named Clarke, or for the host of dangerous people out for star blood. In less than a day Clarke falls from the sky, gets run over by a pretty girl, almost gets her heart cut out and maybe gets accidentally kidnapped by pirates, and that’s just the start of her problems.

The Last Lyrian by TrikruCommander [Mature] (Ongoing- 48,747 Words) {19 Chapters} **

Lexa is the Last Lyrian, after her planet is destroyed.Clarke is the Hyadean entrusted with keeping Lexa safe.The problem is Lexa doesn’t know she’s not human, and she doesn’t know Clarke even exists.Can Clarke keep the girl she loves safe?

the tonic of wildness by KL_Morgan [General Audiences] (Complete- 4,103 Words) {Oneshot} [Part of the incomplete the tonic of wildness series] *****

“Oh, I thought – because of the antlers –”

“Anuael is female.” Lexa lifts her hand and her daemon fits her head beneath it, carefully. Her fingers brush up against the velvety softness at each branch’s root, the sensitive spot where the antlers curl out of Anuael’s skull up into a proud six points. “The Commander’s daemon is always a hart.”

Silly Blue Costume by orphan_account [Teen] (Complete- 21,114 Words) {5/5 Chapters} ***

Clarke moves to Polis to work at the Daily Planet, a huge step up from the Ark Gazette. What she doesn’t expect is to fall for her partner, famous Investigative Reporter Lexa Woods, and to get caught up in a conspiracy involving one of the wealthiest citizens of Polis: the elusive Cage Wallace.

Mystic Coffee by blindwire [Mature] (Complete- 46,243 Words) {6/6 Chapters} *****

Lexa is 95% certain that the girl that comes into her coffee shop each morning is a witch. Whether it’s the tattoos that she swears move when she sees them out of the corner of her eye or the way the girl’s hair changes color if she looks long enough (not that she’s staring), Lexa is positive something strange is going on.

Skylark by RunawayMarbles [Mature] (Complete- 115,948 Words) {28/28 Chapters} ***

“And they don’t have superpowers. They are semi-successful experiments. Your people will not take any action against Sky Crew without my order: their code names are bad enough. I will not have Polis turn into some Gotham-esque battleground. Dismissed.”

“Uh, actually, Metropolis had more superpowers—”

“Dismissed.”

I Am Heda by Alexis_Payton [Mature] (Complete- 124,439 Words) {19/19 Chapters} *****

Clarke had expected to see many new and wonderful things on Earth. But nothing could’ve possibly prepared her for meeting the Heda of the Twelve Clans. A creature so powerful, so strange, so beautiful, that just the sight of her stole Clarke’s breath away.

My Soul Alight by AnonBeMe [Unrated] (Ongoing- 64,556 Words) {20 Chapters} **

“Am I in danger?” Clarke asks, feeling her heart in her throat.

“Not if you forget.” Lexa gives Clarke a greeting nod, a goodbye, before disappearing from the doorway.

The AU in which Clarke, a doctor, treats a strange patient one night, and soon finds herself caught in a web of unexplainable events. The word magic seems implausible, but Clarke doesn’t know what else to call it. All Clarke wants is answers, damn it, and to reverse whatever is happening to her, so she stubbornly seeks out the strange woman – a leader of a land beyond invisible borders – who insists that the less Clarke knows the better. Clarke, however, is relentless and it comes with a price…

You, the Ocean, and Me by billet_doux [Mature] (Ongoing- 32,931 Words) {4 Chapters} ***

Clarke Griffin is dealing with the repercussions of the accident that took her father’s life. Octavia Blake is trying to find where in the world she fits in. Raven Reyes is trying to win the heart of an older woman. Lexa Woods is trying to help her friends when a mysterious event changes their lives forever.

Or;

Three girls, all in the wrong (right) place at the wrong (right) time, are bound together with a shared secret. They can only rely on one girl, an aspiring scientist, to help them figure out what has happened to them–and possibly find a way to turn them back.

Cobweb Hearts by DreamsAreMyWords [Mature] (Complete- 23,330 Words) {7/7 Chapters} ***

Lexa is a grumpy vampire, and Clarke's a mischievous fairy who loves getting under her skin. They're forced to become roommates for a month and they expect it's only going to end in fucking each other, killing each other, or both. They certainly don't expect to fall in love.

Hold Me Till the Stars Dim by ur_the_puppy [Teen] (Complete- 86,420 Words) {4/4 Chapters} [part of the ongoing Fallen series] ***

After Costia's tragic death, Lexa Woods still hasn't recovered. It has been months now, and though her friend's have let Lexa do what she wants for most of that time, they can't let her ignore them any more. The answer? A camping trip. And though seemingly innocent, things go bad. Violently bad. Fast.

a slightly different take on grounder clarke

home is wherever i'm with you by merricats_sugarbowl [Teen] (Complete- 65,737 Words) {19/19 Chapters} ***

It’s one thing to know that humans are adaptable. It’s another to see it happen, or to have it happen to you.

The thing is, when the dead rise from their graves, you get pretty damn good at adapting.

It's been months since the dead rose from their graves and society went to hell, and it's finally starting to take its toll on Clarke. When a radio broadcast reveals that there's safety at Mount Weather, she and her group immediately fix on it as the next step in their plan for survival.

Meanwhile, Lexa's carved out a good life for herself and her group at Camp Polis, but their safety is threatened by a rival group that constantly steals their supplies. Bringing Nia and her people to justice is Lexa's number one priority; that, and the ever-growing number of missing people who've sought help at Mount Weather and failed to return.

When Clarke and Lexa meet by chance, everything changes.

Atlantis by coeurastronaute [Mature] (Ongoing- 10,832 Words) {3 Chapters} ***

Lexa is the heir to the throne of Atlantis, forced to live her life by her father's rules. All of that changes when she finally has contact with land.

frostbite (and heartsickness) by hedahawkeye [Mature] (Ongoing- 40,626 Words) {17 Chapters} ****

The first time Clarke sees Lexa after she surrenders to SHIELD, she realizes that she can't distinctly remember Lexa before the war. Lexa before HYDRA, Lexa before Tsing, Lexa before injections and torture and hurt. The girl she knew in Washington, with scraped knees and bird-like limbs, with a grin on her face and a kid sister on her hip, blends in with recollections tainted by blood and ashes, by a soldier falling to her death and a berserker throwing a fist at her head.

[Winter Soldier AU]

SUMMER CAMP

Legends by aos_skimmons [Teen] (Complete- 63,546 Words) {5/5 Chapters} ****

“Who’s that?” Clarke asked.Octavia glanced in Clarke’s line of sight.

“That is Lexa Woods.”

“Is she a daughter of Aphrodite too?”Octavia barked out a laugh and shook her head. Clarke felt her cheeks flush.

“No. She’s a daughter of Athena.”

“Oh.” Clarke said, still blushing furiously.

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone about your crush on the devil.”A demi god au.

String Bracelets by rochke11 [Mature] (Complete- 36,013 Words) {13/13 Chapters} ***

Growing up, Clarke, Lexa and Costia spent their summers as best friends at Camp Rothenberg, from when they were seven until they were fifteen. Now 19, Clarke and Lexa have returned to Camp Rothenberg as camp counselors, but it’s been three years since they last saw or spoke to each other. Both girls are haunted by the last summer they spent at camp together four years earlier and by the death of the girl who brought their trio together.Forced to spend the summer as counselors of rival cabins: The Grounders and Arkers, will Clarke and Lexa finally be able to reconcile, and will they finally forgive themselves and each other for what happened that summer four years earlier?

carousel of time. by vulpixgrrl [Unrated] (Complete- 21,745 Words) {4/4 Chapters} ***

they’ve hated each other every summer they can remember, rivals since first session. But they’re finally camp counselors and it’s a whole new battle field.

Cross-Rilvalry Romances - Summer Camp Style by ToriWritesStories [Mature] (Complete- 73,704 Words) {24/24 Chapters} ***

Clarke Griffin, Octavia and Bellamy Blake, Raven Reyes, Lexa Woods and many others are all at Camp Unite - a supposedly better-than-average summer camp where kids from different extra curriculars and interests all come together and… do summer camp stuff? Nevertheless, they’re there. The twist? None of them know each other, and turns out, this camp that’s all about uniting and forming a better community is pretty divided. Pretty easy to get caught up in divisions that have been around for years - until a certain couple of people start forming crushes that cross the line of division. Mostly a Clexa fic, with some lovely little secondary character romances popping up as well.

SOULMATE

Almost Three by fairytaleslayer [Teen] (Complete- 23,797 Words) {6/6 Chapters} ***

People age until they’re eighteen, and are then frozen in time until they meet their soul mate. After that, they grow old together. Plain and simple. That’s the deal. Only, in Clarke’s case, the universe doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo. Or Waiting over a century for your soul mate really fucking sucks.

Pinch Me by LeNoLifeLoser [Unrated] (Ongoing- 59,552 Words) {19 Chapters} ***

Abby inspected the girl, but nothing was there. No irritation, no bumps or bruises, there was no reason for pain. “Does it feel like you got hit?” Clarke nodded, letting out a whimper. Abby sighed, but then Clarke let out another yelp, hands flying to her cheek as tears streamed down anew. Then Abby understood. “That’s your soulmate.” She cooed, pulling her daughter into a hug. “Soulmate?” Wells piped up from beside her. Abby nodded, setting down again and letting Clarke curl into her lap. Wells hopped up beside them and turned to her expectantly. “You see, every person has someone very special out there in the world. This person is the person you’re meant for. They can be your best friend or your spouse or anyone, really. But there’s a connection between you and your special person. Every ounce of pain you feel, your special person feels too, and vice versa. It seems Clarke’s soulmate is a little clumsy huh?” Abby tried to goad Clarke into laughing. But the little girl was focused very hard, eyebrows scrunched together and pouting adorably. She stared off into the distance, completely still, except for the occasional hiccup. “I wanna help them.” She whispered stubbornly.

Look. Don’t Touch (for this will destroy us) by Naojinxd [Mature] (Complete- 108,445 Words) {10/10 Chapters} **

Clarke Griffin has held a secret for her entire life: whenever she looks at her reflection she doesn’t see her blonde, wavy hair or her deep blue eyes. She stares at a woman with long chestnut hair and cold, piercing green eyes. She never knew what it meant when she saw this woman looking back at her, until one day the woman in the mirror steps into her life and everything changes.

Or in a world where your reflection does not show you but your soulmate.

Your Heart On My Sleeve by aredpen [General Audiences] (Ongoing- 34,756 Words) {9 Chapters} ***

Carefully, Clarke managed an only slightly shaky 'C’, seeing the color settle brightly against her pale skin, before the teacher was calling for the class to put away the coloring supplies and Clarke quickly hid her wrist and looked up guiltily. No one said anything, though, and Clarke shoved the markers in the bin before holding her wrist gently against her stomach.

She tried not to look at everyone else’s wrists for the rest of the day. Tried not to see that no one had any green there. Not even the next day, or two days later, until finally she forgot to keep her wrist out of the water when she was washing and it faded away, just like the idea that her soulmate could be here somewhere.

Soulmates are rare. Even more so now that ink is being rationed on the Ark and permanent identifying tattoos are no longer allowed. Distance has never been an obstacle before, though. Not even between the ground and the sky.

#clexa #fanfiction #archive of our own #slow burn #alternate universes #canon #t100 #multiple chapters #clarke griffin/ lexa #fanfiction recommendations #clexa fic rec #one shots

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thedreamingdinosaur · 7 years

Text

Directed By: Jay Scheib

Cast:

Strat- Andrew Polec Raven- Christina Bennington Falco- Rob Fowler Sloane- Sharon Sexton Tink- Aran Macrae Zahara- Danielle Steers Jagwire- Dom Hartley- Harris Ledoux- Giovanni Spanó Blake- Patrick Sullivan Crysteva- Jemma Alexander Mordema- Emily Benjamin Batfish (on stage swing)- Stuart Boother Valkyrie- Georgia Carling Spinotti (on stage swing)- Natalie Chua Hollander- Jonathan Cordin Liebeswoosh- Amy Di Bartolomeo Krolocker (on stage swing)- Jorden Lee Davies Vanveeteren- Olly Dobson Vilmos (on stage swing)- Hannah Ducharme Astroganger (off stage swing)- Isaac Edwards Bessamey- Phoebe Hart Judge (off stage swing) Linus Henriksson Kwaidan- Rosalind James Lunarrow (off stage swing)- Kalene Jeans Denym- Michael Naylor Scherzzo- Eve Norris Markevitch- Tim Oxbrow Liberame (on stage swing)- Andrew Patrick- Walker Hoffman- Benjamin Purkiss O’Dessasuite- Anthony Selwyn Goddesilla (on stage swing)- Courtney Stapleton Esquivel- Ruben Van Keer

“I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that”

Nothing beats a spontaneous trip to the theatre for a good musical. While in London on Friday 4th August for our weekend at Summer in the City, Heather and myself decided to take a journey down to the Westend. Now we had already spoken about trying to get last minute show tickets and ran through our options, listing various musicals that we would want to see as well as naming some backup choices. But nevertheless, we decided that we would try and get tickets for Bat Out of Hell and Andrew Scotts Hamlet.

Seeing that you’ve seen the title of this post as well as the feature image, you know that we got the tickets. So that evening after a cocktail and some very yummy food, we headed to The Coliseum (no not the Italian one, the London one). Getting to the theatre around an hour early has its perks though. With no one at the merchandise stands or bar, we were able to get a programme and some merch as well as a drink before we headed to our seats. Obviously, this was not before we had a ride on the original bike, which was sat in the foyer.

So, onto the show. In all honesty, this was one which hadn’t really crossed my mind much. Sure I had seen it advertised on pages like WhatsOnStage and heard reviews on it saying how good of a play it was, but it never really grabbed my attention until that night.

The first thing to mention is the seats. Normally I would be drawn to sit in the stalls, but for this particular performance, Heather insisted that the Dress Circle was the best place to sit. Usually, I’m a bit apprehensive about high seats, mainly because I want to be able to see the actual show… But nevertheless, Heather was right and these were the best seats possible! You were able to see the entire stage and then some!

Now onto the show! You’re probably sat wondering what on earth this musical is about? Well fellow readers, this show is about rebels, love and rock music. Through the creative works of Jim Steinman, we are taken on a journey which explores the differences in class as well as the fight for love. The catch being, age. You’re probably now sat thinking ‘but this is a common issue in life’ well… this age issue is not quite the same. While there are those in this post-apocalyptic future who age as per normal, there are others who do not. Known as ‘The Lost’, a gang of forever 18-year-olds, rebel against the chief, Falco.

Now while I’d love to mention every single actor and their characters as well as the crew, I fear that we’d be here for the rest of the year if so. I would like to start with the crew, including orchestra, lighting, costume department and staging (this isn’t everyone I promise, just a few I picked out to talk about)

So the orchestra. With musicals, especially ones using pre-existing songs, there is a worry that the numbers will not live up to their potential. This was not the case for Bat Out of Hell. With each song that they performed, Steinman’s numbers were honoured in every way possible! While the actors may have sung them to a tee, the orchestra belted out true classics. Piano and guitar rocked the auditorium with exceptional notes and amazing riffs (if that’s the right word).

The costumes were creatively done. Although minimalistic, they were able to show the difference between ‘The Lost’ and Falco’s family. While Sloane (Raven’s mother) wore slim fitting pencil skirts and dresses, members of the lost wore more tattered and ragged looking clothes along with fishnet tights and black Doc Martins. Main characters, Raven and Strat went through very few costume changes, with two or three occurring on stage. At the beginning of the show, Strat loses his red vest top, in which becomes a dress for Raven shortly after. One main change we see Raven go through is a black dress during the second act which is done off stage. The costumes and makeup were well thought out and used to help tie the story together.

The set and staging itself were so beautifully constructed. Although the floor was jaggered and raised in areas, it was effectively used. In a rocky area in the downstage, left section of the stage was a small pond/lake/water thing. At first, I was unsure as to what this was for, or that it was even there, to be honest, but it all became clearer later on. The use of levels within the play was amazing as well. On a higher level, was Raven’s bedroom, behind glass to make the essence of a high rise room even more effective. The same can be said for a higher section of ‘The Lost’s’ lair. Falco towers also double up as a bar for the gang, which is decorated in a classic American style, with a long bar counter with high stools. While we are talking about Falco, it is important to mention the car, which is used. The use of it and how it is hidden is extremely well done. At first, I was not expecting it, but when it was revealed I was utterly shocked. Overal, the set amazed me by its pure beauty and its technical ability.

Linking in with the set was the lighting and technology used. Something that I found truly stunning was the transformation between the outside and Falco’s living room. To do this, they used a simple lighting change to make the flooring a marbled effect. You were able to forget about the rough surface of the outside and believe you were in a well-decorated house. As well as lighting, the technical mechanics used was outstanding. To be able to show the activities in Raven’s room (wipe those smirks off your faces, you know what I mean), on stage camera’s were used to film inside the room, and then projected onto a large screen, as shown in the photo above.

Onto the play and the acting itself. The opening of the show saw Strat joined on stage by two other members of The Lost. What I liked about this particular opening is that it happened before the show itself actually kicked off. This not only gives the actors a chance to really get into their character and quickly adapt their starting positions but also for the audience to have something to talk about. I certainly was sat there thinking, ‘who are these people? what are they doing? Is this the start of the show and have they just forgotten to turn the lights down?’ However, these thoughts are soon interrupted by the actual beginning of the play.

Although I didn’t know every number which was performed, the musical ability of each member of the cast was exceptional! Particular numbers which I loved were ‘You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth’, ‘I’d Do Anything For Love’, ‘Paradise By the Dashboard Lights’, ‘Object in the Rearview Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are’ and of course ‘Bat Out of Hell’. While most of these are in the second act, it does not say anything about the numbers which was sung in the first. All the songs in this musical were amazingly produced by the cast.

“But it was long ago and it was far away, oh God it seems so very far And if life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car”

‘Objects in the Rearview Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are’ had me in tears nearly! And I very very rarely cry at shows. But this emotional performance allowed us to explore deeper of some of the ensemble. Each member of the ensemble, was able to bring a new level to the songs, adding deeper emotion where needed, and more rock too.

In ‘Paradise By the Dashboard Lights’ Sharon Sexton and Rob Fowler were able to express the urgency and need for each other as well as their love. This upbeat song, performed mainly in the car, showed the passionate, and sexual tension that Sloane and Falcon clearly shared when they were young. While in ‘What Part of My Body Hurt’s the Most’ (cue the tears) they showed us the pain and suffering that each was experiencing. This, once again, emotion song hurt to watch. Seeing a marriage crumble due to differences of opinion is hard for anyone to sit and watch.

It’s important to mention at this point, the amazing Raven (Christina Bennington). Her character seemed at first a very Juliet like character, and while there are slight resemblances of the famous Shakespeare play within the show, she was extremely different. As an 18-year-old, it is clear that Raven want’s to explore the world and try new things, as any teenager should! Go! Live your life and be free little birds!! Christina was able to capture this, showing us a rebellious side as well as one of innocence and purity. Being stuck in Falco tower for most of her life, she was rarely able to experience the outside world. It is only through the raids and protests by ‘The Lost’ that she has glimpses of something more exciting. We see her pain and heartache, due to unforeseen circumstances, through ‘It’s All Coming Back to Me Now’.

“There were night’s when the wind was so cold, That my body froze in bed if I just listened to it right outside the window”

Most popularly known by the Celine Dion version, the song was originally written by Jim Steinman for Meatloaf to perform on Bat Out of Hell III. Christina was able to perform this flawlessly, sending shivers down my spine and once again bringing tears to my eyes. The moving lyrics, sung beautifully showed us the struggles Raven was going through.

We have spoken about the lady of the hour, and now it’s time for our main man. Andrew Polec (Strat) safely not only stole the heart of Raven but also of the audience. This bad boy leader of ‘The Lost’ is our pivotal epicentre to this earthquake of rock. Polec was able to bring to the stage, a young man utterly smitten by this girl, as well as someone who is willing to fight for what they deserve. As well as this, his vocal abilities were…. speechless! Every note that this talented young actor hit blew me away! His performance as Strat is one which will stay with me forever.

“Well I can see myself tearing up the road, faster Than any other boy has ever gone”

Of course, the one song which was long anticipated was ‘Bat Out of Hell’. Having only heard the shorter version before, it’s safe to say I was a tad confused as to the extended part. But this still didn’t take away from the amazing experience. Without giving too much away, the whole sequence was emotional and high in energy! One particular part, saw a heart being made above Strat’s head from… let’s say mechanical parts. I. Was. STUNNED! To the point where, by the end of the song, I was sat on the edge of my seat, mouth wide open with the lady and gent to my left wondering if I was okay. Heather on the other hand, totally understood.

So let’s round up! This play was… well there are no words to describe it really! (although I have tried to here in this review) This energetic, fun, emotional and rocking show is definitely a must see! If you are into the music and talents of Jim Steinman or not, you will enjoy this no matter what! With only a few days left in the Westend before they take this masterpiece to Toronto, I am sure that all the cast and crew will nail their performances in both countries once more. If tickets are still available please do go see this if you are looking for a fantastic night out!

I would like to take this moment to thank Andrew Polec, Christina Bennington, Sharon Sexton, Danielle Steers and Giovanni Spanó for taking time after the show, to come to stage door and sign our programmes as well as taking photos with not only Heather and myself but also those who attended once the show was done. We know that is it not a priority to do stage door and that you wish to head home to rest your voices and relax (or go out and celebrate another fantastic performance), so to be able to spend just 20 minutes with those fans, is truly an honour.

★★★★★

By Natalie Midwinter.

If you wish to have a read from another perspective please check out Heather’s review here.

Review Time!- Bat Out of Hell (WARNING CONTAINS ‘SPOILERS’) Directed By: Jay Scheib Cast: Strat- Andrew Polec Raven- Christina Bennington Falco- Rob Fowler Sloane- Sharon Sexton…

#5 Stars #Amazing #Bat Out of Hell #blog #Jim Steinman #London #Meat Loaf #Meatloaf #Musical #Oustanding #Review #Review Time!#Rock #Rock Music #The Coliseum #Theatre #thedreamingdinosaur #Westend

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ashxpad · 3 years

Text

Profoto Camera App Review: The Future of iPhone Photography?

Profoto recently announced a revamped version of its Camera App and with ample new features and a new file format, it certainly sounds promising for smartphone photography.

I recently shot a swimwear editorial with it, both in-studio and on-location. Does the app live up to the descriptors? In short: yes.

Phones are among the fastest-evolving technologies to ever exist. Naturally, various accessories tend to evolve with the device too. One of the main improvements that phones seem to have from generation to generation is the new camera, and many people have already asked if iPhones have a future in replacing cameras. Although opinions differ, one thing is for sure: phones are much more popular than traditional cameras.

Most people these days likely start dabbling in photography by using a smartphone. Lighting, being a core aspect of photography, is naturally a focus for many photographers, so Profoto introduced a new technology, AirX, that lets photographers sync flash to their phones directly.

The Profoto Camera app’s new update brings smart TTL as well as Profoto RAW. I took it for a spin in a studio and on-location environments to see how it fairs as an image capturing device that promises to deliver fast results and an uncompromised light-shaping experience.

Features

Features included in the Profoto Camera app include:

Two modes: Smart-TTL and manual mode. The smart mode takes control of everything, all you need to set is how dramatic you want the light to be as well as your desired color temperature. Manual mode, on the other hand, lets you control your phone like it’s a camera. This means full manual control of not only exposure but also flash — it’s pretty much like your phone has a built-in flash remote.

Profoto Raw format. Profoto describes this as a format that uses DNG files. The Profoto RAW (DNG) files are 5-8 times larger than the usual JPEG. On paper, this allows them to capture more detail, therefore offering more post-production possibilities. In essence, this is just a DNG file.

UI Experience

Perhaps one of the things Profoto is famous for is its Swedish simplicity. As renowned photographer Albert Watson put it: you plug it in and it works. Profoto Camera holds to that tradition. Selecting Bluetooth on compatible lights and then connecting to the app is very simple. Pairing requires you to press the test flash button, but after the lights are paired, they will connect automatically to the app. I never experienced any connectivity issues on the app either.

As for the rest of the GUI of the app, it is easy to understand as there are labels and names on everything, making the learning curve very shallow.

Field Performance and Real-Life Experience

To truly test out the app and how well it works with lights, I chose two different settings: studio and on-location. The idea was to shoot a summer swimwear editorial that would encompass these looks very well.

The experience shooting with the Profoto Camera app can be described as slower than I’m normally used to. Having worked with cameras for much of my career, I felt really slow when working with a phone. It took a moment to adjust, a moment to fire, a moment to do everything else. This may work with some photographers’ shooting style, but it could also possibly limit photographers from working faster and more seamlessly.

Look 1

A 1970s-inspired look with a badminton racket. It was shot against a white background which was made blue by a large 2×3 softbox with a blue gel inside. The key light on the model was chosen to be hard to mimic sunlight, which was done with an OCF beauty dish. A CTO gel was added to warm the light up and give it sunlight-like quality.

Using the Smart-TTL mode has shown to be slightly hard here, as it didn’t quite understand the setup I was going for. The key light was overpowering the background gel, so I chose to use manual mode instead.

Syncing lights and setting them up was done, one by one, as usual. Shooting with a phone felt extremely strange, but the app was easy to use and I had the lights set up in manual mode in no time. One drawback was not being able to assign groups, but instead to having guess which light was responsible for what.

Look 2

The second look was designed to show the swimmer about to jump. Here a three-light setup was used. A 2×3 softbox was replaced with a much larger 165 Cm umbrella to allow for more even background light. The key light was chosen to be a 2×3 softbox with the same CTO gel. I wanted much more even illumination, and using a hard reflector would make that more challenging. Lastly, a small A10 was used to light the apple box the model is standing on and create the gradient. Unfortunately, the app didn’t quite recognize this setup, and I once again resorted to manual mode, as the app was trying to light the whole scene without balance between lights.

Look 3

The goal was to create a smooth gradient on the model while keeping the background the same color as in the last images. For that, a bare-bulb light with a 20deg grid was used. The camera app lets me control the lights seamlessly, with the experience being not too different from an actual camera. The app lets me control features such as modeling lamp, intensity, modeling lamp temperature (on B10 and B10+ lights)

Look 4

Using the camera app on location was a different story. With only a handful of things to take, the versatility of the app was quite fantastic. I had to take an A10 starter kit (available in certain regions only), which came with a small softbox, grid, as well as an OCF adapter for the A10 flash. I threw the kit on a light stand and shot away in the auto mode setting the light to soft. This enabled me to not worry about camera settings and focus on getting the shot.

At first, there was little understanding between the crew on when the picture was taken as there were a series of pre-flashes. However, the app was not missing the mark and got all the photos exactly as I imagined. This leads me to believe that the app is geared towards smaller light setups, such as just one softbox or a key with a fill.

General Testing

One feature I was interested to try was the possibility of controlling how dramatic light is. This can be done in Smart-TTL mode just by changing the slider. This is an interesting feature that performed surprisingly well. Usually, one would have to move their light or change the modifier, but the camera app takes multiple exposures combining them into one big one.

A drawback for potential users would be when it comes to shooting moving objects in smart mode. To operate, the smart mode needs to make a series of flashes and exposures, which requires the subject to be more or less still.

Speaking of the Profoto RAW format, there are no options to edit the pictures in the app. If speed is of the essence, there is rarely time to process raw files. There are more options with the DNG files that Profoto Camera captures, but they are nothing extraordinary. When editing, I found that although there is more latitude, it’s nothing like with other raw files, like CR2.

A Gateway Drug to Portrait Lighting

Profoto is perhaps ahead of its time with the Camera App, as many photographers may be puzzled by why exactly it exists in the first place. However, the app allows for much faster image capture and social media publication — something that traditional cameras can’t do.

Those who will probably gravitate towards Profoto’s new camera app pool are photographers who are not new to taking pictures, but perhaps new to lighting. Many iPhone photographers could potentially benefit from the ability to use a familiar device with sophisticated lights.

When it comes to whether the Profoto Camera app should be used in large-scale productions, I doubt it. I believe phones are just never going to reach the quality that a proper camera offers.

That said, I don’t think the Profoto Camera app is competing with high-end cameras — that would be a silly fight to pick. The camera app is simply offering a much more compact solution to allow for the capture of images on the fly. I see event shooters being interested in this, too, as it would allow them to carry much less while letting the camera mix flash and ambient as well as expose the whole image.

Pros

Fast results straight from your phone

Light control in simple situations

More control over light settings when compared to the remote

Ability to shoot with any light shaping tools

Cons

No power setting on the back of the light unit screen

Light names unclear on the app. No ability to assign groups

No ability to process DNG files in the app.

Limited ability to work with fast-moving subjects.

Should You Use It?

Yes. A previous argument against iPhone photography was that syncing lights is impossible, yet now with good light, I am more than happy to take my iPhone photography to next level. A family portrait session or anything of that nature is perfectly suited for the Profoto Camera App. I draw the line there personally, but someone else may prefer to ditch their camera altogether for the iPhone given the functionality here.

Overall, the Profoto camera app is very useful, especially when capturing images on the fly is a priority.

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