#birthfamily | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

intersex-support · 2 years

Note

Hi! I know this might be kind of a weird ask, but I just needed a space to talk about this and your blog appears to be safe.

So I have what has been diagnosed previously as PCOS. I'm seeking genetic testing for various reasons, but the symptoms are relatively consistent. Anyway.

One thing I never see talked about is how people with PCOS can and do face medical abuse and "correction". I was put unwillingly onto puberty blockers - ones not even intended as such, it was a common off-label use that came with potential long term side effects. I'm also trans, but didn't know it at the time. Had I known, I may have chosen puberty blockers, but it was still very much a nonconsensual attempt to "correct" my "precocious puberty".

Then as an adult, due to, well long story, but abuse from my mom, I was convinced to take estrogen-based birth control that in all likelihood contributed to my worsening dysphoria, to "manage" the huperandrogenism I'm now actively encouraging with low dose testosterone. Without constantly being told it's ugly, I love being hyperandrogenous! It makes me euphoric!

Related to this, I also got told I was appropriating intersex experiences for wanting my (already intersex body) to more closely match my being intersex. I admittedly said it poorly, in a way that made it seem like I was generalizing all intersex bodies into a common misconception, but I was trying to say that me being altersex (or another word, I've heard that term can be intersexist but don't have an alternative, if it is I'm happy to change the term I use) is a direct result of me being intergender/intergender (again, don't know which terminology to use, sorry!). I was accused of fetishizing intersex conditions by someone who admitted that PCOS should be considered one.

I don't actually know whether I had any coercive surgery in infancy due to a lot of crap with birthfamily and being removed at nine months and adopted at 14 months. But every other experience I've had has been (mostly perisex and a few bad faith gatekeeping intersex) people coercing me into fitting more neatly into a binary sex, often medically, and often with transphobia on top. I've had people deny that I can experience transness in multiple ways (I use transfem, transmasc, and transneutral/transandrogenous, particularly because I also am plural which just further complicates things.

I just... I wish people understood that I have faced many of the struggles typical to the intersex community. I have never experienced gender like a perisex person. I have always been cautious about speaking to my own experiences because I've tried to be aware of privilege where I have it and to uplift the voices of others with different experiences than mine, even where there are no dynamics of privilege/oppression.

Having people like you say "yes, people with PCOS can use the intersex label, we have shared experiences, you belong" has also been incredibly healing. It's like... I feel like people can often innately recognize when they have shared community in regards to innate identity. I felt drawn to the queer community before my gender/sexuality eggs cracked, for example. I feel like exclusion only hurts people because it- well, essentially is a form of gaslighting. "No, your experiences in this specific aspect are fundamentally so alien to ours that we couldn't possibly talk about commonalities in any meaningful way, and will deny you a belonging that is already yours." Does that make any sense?

I'm not perfect in the way I say things, so I do wanna say that I'm absolutely willing to be corrected if something I have said is harmful.

Just uh,,, thank you for listening to this long vent.

(In case I interact via anon in the future, can I sign off with "starry anon"?)

Hey, anon 💜

I'm so sorry that you've had to put up with so much judgment, abuse, and coercion from so many people and places that you expected to be safe. You did not deserve any of that. You have PCOS and hyperandrogenism, and you are intersex. You belong in intersex spaces and anyone who says you doesn't is being a complete asshole. There's so many reasons like you've listed here, where you have so many commonalities of experiences with other intersex people, and deserve to be able to find compassion and solidarity. I'm so sorry that you've faced medical abuse, and I think you're brave for speaking up about it and talking about the fact that intersex people with PCOS can and do face medical abuse. You are not alone in that, and it absolutely wasn't your fault.

You are intersex, and there is no way that you can appropriate your own experiences. I sort of do think that altersex is a label that's used in an intersexist way a lot of times and I personally tend to be uncomfortable with it, and I tend to stay away from altersex because of my issues with it. I think altersex is really only being used by people who aren't intersex, so I could see why people might have thought you were fetishizing or appropriating intersex experiences, as if you say you are altersex people are going to think you are saying you are dyadic. You can just say that you're intersex and intergender if that's language that makes you feel comfortable, although I'm not going to tell you what language is and isn't right for you to use--that's a personal choice.

I don't know you and your story and I'm also not going to tell you what ways of experiencing your gender and what labels are okay for you to use--I know that it can get very complicated when we're intersex and we're sometimes reassigned gender or sex in childhood, or at puberty, or undergo certain types of transition that's unexpected for our AGAB. I don't think that it's a free-for-all that any intersex person ever can just claim to be transmasc or transfem or both or that every single intersex person has a claim to every label, but my policy is to trust intersex people when they tell me their labels and trust that they know what the most accurate and affirming language is to use based on their own lived experiences. I think this is something that individual intersex people have to really think through and decide what labels are appropriate for them to use, and be thoughtful about what times we need to stay in our lane and when we follow our instincts. It does get complicated and my approach is to just trust that people know what labels are actually accurate to their life, and I only bring things up if it is an issue. If people are appropriating labels, if they don't have a certain type of lived experience but they are claiming that they do, if they are perpetuating oppression, then I will call people out and deal with whatever they are actually doing. I'm not going to tell you that you can't use labels or not when I don't know your life and story, or say whether you should be doing things or not, and just trust that you have thought through what is appropriate and what is right for you and listened to what the communities you are a part of are telling you.

Even though you did use altersex language, or if you were confused and couldn't figure out the best way to phrase things, you still are intersex and have an intersex body. And I completely understand wanting intersex affirming and gender affirming things to feel more comfortable in your body. I think that a lot of intersex people do have dysphoria and I know a lot of us who really have strong feelings about wanting to return to our natural intersex bodies before medical abuse, or returning to a version of ourselves that we were never allowed to be. I think that's something that makes so much sense, and even though I can see why people would react badly if they thought you were dyadic and using confusing language, know that you are not doing anything wrong by being intersex and having these feelings, and you cannot appropriate your own experiences. You belong in intersex community and are allowed to share your own experiences.

This blog is a safe space for you, anon, and feel free to share your story or come and vent if you need it.

💜💜💜

-Mod E

#asks #actuallyintersex #intersex #to clarify bc we've been having a lot of discussions on and offline about this lately #i don't think that every intersex person ever. can claim to be transmasc or transfem #like for instance i think it would be entirely inappropriate for me to claim to be transfem. i was afab raised female #and even though I went through medical abuse and hormonal conversion therapy #I don't think i live in any meaningful way as a transfem person. because i am a trans man #so im like in my case it would be weird if i started claiming i was transfem u know. bc im not #but i do think that with intersex people. birth asssignment gets tricky #i have a friend who was amab. but then was raised as a girl from the age of 5. and than at puberty transitioned back. and he considers #himself a trans man #so im like okay i think there are times where people's birth assignment doesn't line up with the dyadic birth assignment for a trans experi #so it does get complicated when you are intersex. or when you're intersex and like #you're transitioning one way. in a way that isn't usually expected of your birth assignment #and i dont' think i get to make all the rules for who is what. i think that would be silly #i think that's something that we all just need to think about what labels are right for us to use and what our experiences are #and if we think we're overstepping then we totally might be! if we think we belong in a certain community or certain label #and the community accepts us! that can also be true #so basiaclly long story short: i dont think that being intersex means that now you can just say that you r whatever trans label you feel #like. if you don't have the lived experiences #and i think it's good for us to be aware of that. but i do think its complicated #and that if you do have the lived experiences. if a certain label you use is right for you. im going to trust you #bc i am not in charge and dont feel like you know. telling people what they can and can't do

34 notes · View notes

black-rose-writings · 1 year

Text

I posted 612 times in 2022

That's 265 more posts than 2021!

165 posts created (27%)

447 posts reblogged (73%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@stromuprisahat

@rist-ix

@kasamira

@tired-demonspawn

I tagged 553 of my posts in 2022

Only 10% of my posts had no tags

#grishaverse - 235 posts

#grishaverse meta - 209 posts

#irl stuff - 71 posts

#anti leigh bardugo - 58 posts

#book review - 52 posts

#twilight saga - 52 posts

#anti alina starkov - 47 posts

#grishaverse worldbuilding - 46 posts

#winx - 40 posts

#čumblr - 36 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#surely someone would have told her that her personal routine was not something she was allowed to share with people outside of the palace

My Top Posts in 2022:

Fate rant part 1 - Winx was already dark enough

Theme-wise. There’s no excuse for whitewashing Flora and Musa.

No, really, it’s not that hard to make the story of Winx more mature, you just have to look at it differently:

Season 1 - Though it is generally pretty tame, the plot involves a girl from Earth discovering she carries in her the power of this universe’s version of God, having that power ripped out of her violently and against her will and having to go on a soul-searching journey to recover it, while the villain is wreaking havoc using it.

She also finds out that she’s adopted and that her birthfamily was killed by a coven of Witches in search of that power, and that she’s the only known survivor of a planet-wide genocide. And she’s a princess of said dead world, whci has been made uninhabitable by the attack. Oh, yeah, and the descendants of those witches are also trying to hunt her down for that same power - and succeed.

FFS, in like the 5th episode, Stella is almost murdered on screen by the Trix, because they wanted her ring.

Darcy mind-controls Riven to date her and spy on the Winx. If they had sex (which 17-18 couple probably would), that’s straight-up rape, right there.

Sky had to switch identities with his bodyguard/squire in for his own safety as a crown prince. He’s in an arranged political engagement with another girl while he pursues Bloom. You could easily dive into political consequences of breaking this engagement that has lasted since they were both children for a “peasant” girl if you wanted to show a more mature side of that. (But like, maybe demonizing Diaspro for being upset about it isn’t a good idea).

The scenes in Magix city after the attack of the Trix are fucking haunting me to this day.

Oh, yeah, and Bloom’s spiritual guide in the season is literally the ghost of her sister, who died at a very young age so that Bloom could live. (I’m sure there’s more dark stuff in season 1, but that’s just what I remembered, so feel free to add).

Season 2 - Oh, boy, season 2.

Our primary antagonist is quite literally the devil, and he was quite directly responsible for the destruction of Domino

We start out the season with the Pixie being captured by him and then tortured and killed one by one as he’s searching for an item they are guarding. Layla/Aisha is almost murdered when she’s trying to save them, managing to barely escape with her life and her bonded pixie.

During the rescue mission, Stella almost dies from lack of sunlight and her boyfriend is held hostage and almost forced to marry someone else, under the threat that if he refuses, she will be locked up underground until it kills her. He is later saved from this at the last minute through the use of a love pspell that makes his would-be wife fall in love with another man(I’m not gonna get into love potions/spells being basically date rape drugs).

A man is replaced by a doppleganger, gets the underage-or-just-fresh-adult Bloom to trust him and then kidnaps her, so his master can subject her to what is a not-even-really-veiled rape allegory and subsequent mind control.

And, once again, Bloom is still the only known survivor of a genocide and her personal story during the show focuses on her finding out more about her home and family.

There’s other things, too, like Sky being murdered and resurected by Bloom, that one episode that deals with Musa’s dead mother and how her dad became abusive out of grief.

Season 3 - it’s not any better.

The Trix are sentenced to a icy hellhole prison, that they manage to break out of with the help of another person tied to Bloom’s past - this time, a man who is effectively her dark reflection. He’s driven by revenge against his captors and quest for power that he believes is rightfully his (I’ve seen some fics suggesting that he in fact had/had learned those powers before, but they were stripped from him once he was captured and playing with this idea would be a sure-fire way to get into some dark moral corners).

This time, we have two people who were mind controlled into a relationship - Stella’s dad and Sky. Rapey much?

Like, season 3 in general is really good and really dark without even really hiding it. Everyone gets a near-death experience and Bloom and Valtor’s relationship as reflections of one another/two sides of the same coin could be something incredible to explore (and a lot of fics do).

Also Faragonda and the rest of the Company of Light are really fucking shady in all of this.

And there is Layla/Aisha’s arranged marriage to Nabu.

Movies 1 and 2 - again, not even really hiding their darkness. Mind control is ever-present, as is mass-murders and destruction, dead family members and court intrigue.

Season 4 - surprise, more genocide.

This time of the Earth fairies. - I mean, they don’t end up being dead, but... they seemed to be and a lot of them probably were.

And also the subsequent revenge against the Wizards of the Black Curcle and humanity as a whole. Give us the full story of the war between the Wizards and Fairies and you’re already really fucking dark and complicated.

Also, Nabu literally dies on-screen - some dubs say he falls into a coma, but IIRC, he dies in the original. Flat out perma-dead. Right after he and Layla/Aisha got engaged. Causing her to seek revenge.

Season 5 - good news, no genocide... except when Tritanus tries to murder everyone on the surface of Andros at the end. So... attempted genocide only. Improvement!

And there’s torture, turning people into monsters against their will, repeated attempted fratricide, a curse that tore a young woman’s spirit out of her body, forcing her to exist as a disembodied spirit for what is most likely at least 20 years.

See the full post

91 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

Best way to describe my feelings after finishing Twilight:

97 notes - Posted June 5, 2022

I’m starting to think that what’s actually the problem of the Grishaverse, especially the TGT, is that there is a disconnect between the universe, the story and the marketing.

The Grishaverse is a grimdark fantasy world, filled with discrimination, inequality, slavery, war and violence, with political power held by absolutist monarchs and unscrupulous capitalists, where law serves to those with power and fucks over everyone else and where often, the only way to achieve justice is by taking it into your hands.

The story is marketed as a Young Adult fantasy adventure.

And the author wants to tell a fairytale romance story.

And it just doesn’t work.

There are three common ways to incorporate grimdark elements into media - glorification (aka “we’re totally not pandering to incels and psychopaths, pinky promise”), shock value and commentary, with most stories blending all three to some extent.

And the Grishaverse firmly falls into the “shock value” category, whether we’re talking about Zoya’s backstory or the horrors of the Ice Court.

But despite being a grimdark universe, the author still tries to force fairytale morality onto it, causing her protagonists to look like short-sighted, naive idiots and forcing her to bend the rules of the universe to the breaking point to make them win.

104 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

Let me introduce you to two characters:

The first is an immortal man. He’s ancient from human perspective, but he’s considered to be young and idealistic by other immortals. His life’s mission is to protect a wolrdwide opressed minority, that he belongs to. This ahs been his mission since he was 13 and he’s at least 500 now. He’s their guardian, their patron saint in many ways. He was almost killed for his power by his first friend and vowed to build a world where nobody ever needs to be desperate enough to do that. He’s a character driven by empathy, a strong sense of justice and a wish for world peace, the end of wars and discrimination, and he’ll stop at nothing to achieve that.

The second is an immortal woman. She’s still young, even by human standarts, but she has the potential to live forever. She’s an orphan, who fell in love with her foster brother. She’s a member of an opressed minority, but she’s revered for her powers instead of despised, through no action of her own. She doesn’t care for the opression of the rest of her kind, as it doesn’t affect her. She’s willing to do anything, even kill innocent people, to protect her brother/love interest. She’s immature, self-centered and short-sighted. She has a love-hate relationship with her powers, her desires, her social status and even her life itself. She likes having power and doesn’t think twice about using it for personal gain and satisfaction, but she despises having responsibility and the expectations her position gives her. She’s driven by her paranoia, her codependant and toxic relationship with her brother/love interest and by her internalized prejudice.

Tell me, which of these two characters sounds like the hero of the story and which like the villain?

156 notes - Posted June 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Character motivations - Why so many people side with the Darkling

Character motivations are a big part of them - why they are liked, how their actions come across, so on and so forth. How motivation is written can make or break a character - and TGT fails at this spectacularly.

The motivations of the “good guys” are unclear at best and plot-dependant at worst, while the “bad guys” - the three that we’re introduced to - have extremely understandable and valid ones.

Motivations of the Darkling and his supporters:

Darkling: Wants to stop wars and persecution of the Grisha everywhere in the world.

Ivan: Wants to stop the endless wars that killed his entire family.

Genya: Wants to take revenge against her rapist and probably the people and system that enabled and furthered that abuse, for herself and all the man’s other victims.

Everyone else: Presumably either want end of the wars or Grisha persecution as well.

Motivations of Alina and her side:

Alina: Wants to live a quiet and peaceful life with Mal, sometimes, maybe. Or rule over Ravka as a Living Saint. Maybe. Possibly. Or die. It varies.

Mal: Want to bang Alina and have her undivided attention - preferably while she gets none herself, I guess. And maybe kill the Darkling because... he liked Alina? Is Grisha? Kills people? Unclear.

Zoya: The Darkling killed her only decent family members, so now she wants revenge (established retroactively).

Nikolai: Wants to rule Ravka, because the current monarch and the actual heir are incompetent assholes and he decided that the "Living Saint” is better ally than the “scary and evil Darkling”.

David: Doesn’t like killing people and feels bad for being part of a mass slaughter that included civilians.

Genya: ? Probably because the Darkling is the Black Heretic and therefore deserves a worse fate than her rapist, I guess.

Everyone else: “Darkling evil”? “Monarchy good”? Are Sun cultists? Who knows, certainly not the reader.

Motivations of miscelaneous other characters:

The royal family: Wants to keep their position of power.

The Apparat: Wants more power, which he plans to gain by controlling the Sun cult in Alina’s name.

Baghra: Wants to “redeem” her son, whatever that means. “Making sure he only cares about her, himself and nobody else” being a strong possibility for the meaning of it.

To be fair, I might be a bit hyperbolic with the lack of motivation on Alina’s side, but their motivations are really the muddiest.

And that’s an issue when they’re the ones who we’re supposed to root for.

Especially when the villain not only have much clearer motives, but they’re actually really fucking good ones.

The system is broken, the world is fucked up and full of prejudice and violence. The “villains” want to fix the system and have a concrete plan how, the “heroes” either want to keep it the same, don’t care about the issues or want to fix them, but their idea of how to do it is “ask the people commiting literal genocide to pretty please stop”.

I don’t know what else to call this but Boomer logic. In a book whose target audience is teenagers.

It’s no wonder so many people like the Darkling and his side better than Alina and hers.

288 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #irl stuff #i guess #long post

3 notes · View notes

wanou-dorm · 1 year

Text

More about Okuyasu

other Characters by @fumikomiyasaki and @hey-its-cweepy

Some of these are weak

Roku is Nickname Given by Amais and Sigumund

Roku has called Flynn Ugly several Times , While the Crow was. Standing Right Behind him,

When Roku explains How Different He a Flynn are He Mentioned that Flynn is More Stout and also that He Looks like a Gremlin.

He’s straight up says Flynn’s As Plump as a Turkey compared to him . Roku just Hates being mistaken for Flynn

Roku has Accidentally grabbed Flynn’s Attenae .., It did not end Well for either of them.

Roku says He Flies Way better than Flynn … Unfortunately for Flynn , Ravens actually do fly better Than Crow they Soar For Longer periods of time without Flapping .

Sigmund and Marcus Chose not to Tell Flynn and Roku They Might be Related after over Hearing Flynn dosent Care and Roku would probably Hate his Birthfamily.

DeeDee said “Gimme your Face.” Once and He got So Startled he hit her with a Magazine now every one In Tetravania dose it .

Theres a Debate for whose Stupider ,Roku or Gregory, The Good news is that it’s Still Gregory as Roku at least is Seen trying to pass.

Tetravania opinion

Soren- Don’t like him , talks too fast. Worse Rappers he’s heard

Mark- Mark … Is boring , The. Opposite of Soren

Pamela- Would Shoot the Ghost In this Dorm for Pamela

Dorothy- - Resiting Urge to Shoot her -

DeeDee— the Creepy Girl who tried to take My Face she’s here !?

Jax- Just a Good boy

Midge -“ I’ve see something like him in Onigashima, can he Eat Dragons too? “

Midges Quote is In Reference to Momoyo Himemushi from Touhou 18 who is a Oomukade which is a Giant Centipede and her stated ability is Eating Dragons. This s would also means a TWST!ver exist

#disney twisted wonderland #okuyasu Van Hartmann #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oc #twisted oc #twst oc #disney twst #hourglassstationacademy

5 notes · View notes

ordinarytalk · 2 years

Text

Family vacation late update:

I already talked with Mom about this but I want to note for my future self that it is really weird to go from being the tallest and least athletic person in my family-family to being the shortest and most athletic person in my birthfamily. Like there's a whole alternate way to see myself. Same person, different contexts.

(Incidentally, if I was a better shot with the nerf gun I totally coulda gotten first place in the birthfam obstacle course challenge instead of second, I was cleaning house on the kayak portion of the race.)

#It is also very weird to hear my birthdad say stuff in the exact cadence I use #I really am just a ctrl+c of the guy huh #Personal stuff #Genetics are wild

2 notes · View notes

quirklesscrow · 2 months

Text

My mind tries to convince me that despite it not being my fault my birthfamily was poisoned water to me that it's my fault that they are, on a good day, strangers to me. That I should have learned to bandage my cuts better than to leave for a nurse. I don't regret leaving, I regret that it was necessary for me to leave. I regret making up a world where they truly loved me.

#robin's scribbles #poetry #i think #introspection can be one hell of a drug

0 notes

tinybitofart · 8 months

Note

for the OC ask game:

🖊️🎻🎶🔱🔺🐷💘🖤😖🤩😞👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

(You don’t have to answer all of the if you don’t want)

oc ill be doing today is Van!Leg and totally not because ive been writing sbout him for the past two days

🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

No, but if he ever has the coursge he wants to get a sleeve of roses on his roght arm

🎻 VIOLIN — does your oc play any instruments? what is their skill level (beginner/intermediate/advanced/virtuoso/etc)?

He plays ……. the recorder?

🎶 MUSICAL NOTES — what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often?

All music, but mostly musicals or indie rock. He listens to music when he’s working, which is… a lot

🔱 TRIDENT EMBLEM — can your oc swim? do they enjoy swimming?

No and no, he’s terrified of water that goes above his waist

🔺 RED TRIANGLE POINTED UP — does your oc know how to use any weapons?

Yes! he built a scythe named Karma, and he’s been practicing with it :))

🐷 PIG FACE — what is your oc's favorite animal?

He doesnt really like any animals, but hedgehog would be on of the one he finds interesting

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

erm well his name is Arm ��👈 Canonically they’ve been dating since march or so, but i only revealed thag recently so it still feels fresh

🖤 BLACK HEART — has your oc killed or seriously wounded anyone before? have they broken someone's heart and/or broken someone's trust?

Yes! All of the above!! j may go into detail about it later!!

😖 CONFOUNDED FACE — is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved?

introvert. he hardly leaves his room, and when he does, he loses energy very fast

🤩 FACE WITH STARRY EYES — is your oc a planner, or are they more spontaneous in their actions?

both, depending on the day.

😞 DISAPPOINTED FACE — does your oc attract others, or do they tend to be left alone?

They are SUCH a loner

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 FAMILY WITH MOTHER, FATHER, SON AND DAUGHTER — how many people are in your oc's immediate family? how many people are in your oc's extended family? do they have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc? who in their family are they closest with? are they close with their birth family, or do they have a found family?

Okayokay

His adoptive parents are Dexter, Frosty, Avery (?) and Lilith. He has aunts and uncles - Linguini, Branch, Duc, and Lucy - and grandparents, but they’re fairly dead. His siblings are Leaff, Noah, and KINDA Mouse. He has a son named Ross who’s 11 i think, and a niece (Cryptid’s daughter) named Crusty who’s in her teens. His partner is Arm, and they both are Ross’s parents

Thats all Inrmemember being canon

He’s closest to Dexter, Ross, and Arm. I would say Mouse, but he only Just Now got on the Van.

He is NOT close with his birth family or legal family. His birthfamily died in a house fire when he was small, tragic :(( and his adoptive father raised him up until he ran away to find the van. I love his adoptive father with all of my heart his name is Dr. Luis Welsh and hes so silly but also very foxic for Leg

also. id like to say that Leg and Arm are the only ones i control. the van kinda works like an rp, where everyone has fhei own characters. i jut reallt like talking about mine :))

#art speaks #oc #my oc #my oc stuff #my ocs <3 #my oc character #discord saga #van

1 note · View note

pfthacker · 1 year

Photo

GA RESIDENTS, Looking for a great time to make a baby? If you are pregnant before December 31, 2022 you are eligible for a $3,000 tax deduction… 🥳 Get busy everyone and after 12 weeks along, let’s begin training you and your coach to ”give birth” with as few interventions as possible. We would love to be your doula team too! #symbioticbirth #georgia #resident #threethousanddollars #deadline #pregnant #december #thirtyfirst #2022 #reproduce #growingfamily #gadeptofrevenue #tax #preparation #dependent #money #childbirtheducation #doula #athensbirthfamily #yourbirthhelper #birthfamily (at Georgia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CkzAOdzp_WI/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

0 notes

monriatitans · 6 months

Text

ADOPTION AWARENESS MONTH QUOTE 1

Wednesday, November 1, 2023

There is a strange trick to adoptive motherhood, she has found, a necessary blindness to the bifurcation of your child’s life. If you spend all your time thinking about the life your child might have lived, how things might have been different if they stayed with their birth family, you will rob them of the life they are living, and drive yourself crazy to boot. – Eleanor Brown, Any Other…

View On WordPress

0 notes

aerialklove · 3 years

Text

When I share that I am adopted... a lot of times it is assumed that I was adopted by White people. However, when I tell them that my parents and my siblings are Black they seem surprised and even taken back by the idea that Black people adopt children. I believe this stems from the idea that ( some ) Black people take care of their own. If the momma cannot be with their children the grandmother will take them in. If the daddy cant be with their children the auntie with make sure the kids have what they need. I am not saying this to assert or assume anything... this is just a thought... even an observation as I have strategically navigated the highs and low of Black family culture or what seems to be “ the norm”.

I was asked if I ever struggled with my identity? Culturally speaking... no. I think there will alway be a “question of identity” when you come to the realization aka “ the truth” of the situation that you are not biologically connected to the person designated to love and raise you as their own. My parents were good parents . I turned out decent... that’s what a lot of people say when I share my story of rising from the ashes of my infancy to now thriving in the accomplishment of my adulthood. They mean well! There was a gaping void in my identity that was not resolved until I met my biological mother. There was no sense of self, no sense of truth until I was actually in the presence of my birth mother. Why? Because, I could look at my mom all day, bask in her love and accept all of the hugs and “ I love your” but it was not enough to penetrate that void. It was not superficial by any means. My mom gave me what she could and I accepted all of that. The void was still there... deep and consuming.

My birth mother’s voice filled that void. The sorrow in her voice and the joy in her eyes tugged on my heart strings. Her truth surged through me and forgiveness allowed our relationship to take flight. It was not overnight but an ongoing healing experience that I do not regret. Her identity is woven into mine. I can see myself with more clarity because I can see her. People ask me “ How do you forgive her... she was not a mother to you?” It took me a few years post reunion to answer this question but I believe I was able to forgive her because I was able to let it go. Those feeling of being unwanted, rejected, abandoned... were all lies. I chose to accept the truth. I listened to my birth mother share her story and I believe her. I believe that she wanted all five of her children. I can tell it in her voice every time I talk with her. Every single time. When I call her and she answers the phone she goes “ Is this my baby girl Aerial?” It’s an elated feeling of gratitude that she is willing and able to be in my life just the way she is.

My momma has come along way in the past ten years. Our relationship is so much better. Mother’s Day just passed and it has always, always, always been a struggle for me. My mom said “ Did you call P. for Mother’s Day” and for a split section the peace that took over in the moment was so nice that I didn’t answer right away. I love them both so much. Even though they have different meanings in my life I wouldn’t change anything.

Thanks for reading!

Peace & Love

#adoptee #adoptees #life as an adoptee #adopted #confessionsofamadoptee #adopted family #birthfamily #birth mothers #same race adoption #aerialklove

14 notes · View notes