#being adhd

[brightlotusmoon]

My mom emailed me this link. She's always doing research. I got that from her.

#being ADHD

[fruehlinxgrau]

I wish I could unfocus my brain like I can my eyes

#actually autism #adhd stuff #autistic things #late diagnosed autistic #being adhd #focus #unfocused #disociation #big mood #mental issues #trying le funny

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[theadhdgoblin]

#adhd memes #actually autistic #goblin things #adhd #being autistic #enby things #adhdlife #adhd things #autistic burnout #adhd problems #adhd artist #actually adhd #adhd goblin

[captain-lovelace]

weird that we treat autism and ADHD as intrinsically linked due to high rates of comorbidity but no one talks that way about autism and schizophrenia or autism and OCD or autism and bipolar disorder etc etc even though those are also often comorbid. gee I wonder why

#tired of autism and adhd being treated like neurodivergences that linked to each other and not to the Other Ones #and note that because someone's gonna misread that tag: i do not mean autism or adhd are 'easier to handle' don't even try it

[muppetfreak]

Mr. Riordan, it is truly a pleasure getting to experience your second draft.

#seriously tho what an amazing thing for an author #to get to revisit your series years later #and get to make all the tweaks now that you know exactly where the story is going #to go back with your theme crystalized in your head and say 'ok now this time on purpose!' #kiddo and I are enjoying the PJO series immensely #love demigods #wish adhd was real #now excuse me while I add 9 billion tags #percy jackson #pjo tv show #pjo #rick riordan #percy jackson and the olympians #disney+ #pjo series #percy jackson tv show #does this need to be tagged as a spoiler? I don't feel like it does #the suggested hashtag being spelled wrong is just *chefs kiss* #love that for us #anyway if this needs another tag tell me

[wafflesex]

And just like that, Lilia treats Floyd's ADHD

#twisted wonderland #twst #lilia vanrouge #floyd leech #they're besties #as someone with adhd I attest to loud rambunctious tunes being like asmr to a loud bee brain #it's what floyd deserves some days #my art

[risesthenight]

neurotypicals will SWEAR they support you but the second you unmask they stare at you weirdly and question why you’re acting differently

thanks for supporting me! i feel so seen right now!! let me just put this back on…

#neurodivergent #autism #autistic experiences #autistic things #being autistic #adhd problems #neurodiverse stuff #neurodiversity #masking #social issues

[natjennie]

something about "your anger isn't scary to me" is making me so emotional. something about as above so below, cassandra as a mirror of kristen. something about "I've been dropping the ball a lot lately" and kristen's struggles with adhd. something about teenage girls and rage and fury and justice. something about adaine's vision of ruining fallinel and the sylvaire looking for revenge. something about sadness and doubt and anger and love. something about "I choose to understand" being the absolute core theme of d20 in general. something something.

#something about kristen's adhd making her fuck things up and being mad at herself and that manifesting #as her deity being overcome with rage #something about fear and anger and shame and the inability to do better even when you're trying so hard #and something about people loving you anyway #something about 'your anger isnt scary to me' #as someone who had undiagnosed pcos in early high school and got so fucking MAD #something about adhd and how you're always failing and you have no one to blame but yourself #and how heart breaking it is to watch your life fall apart around you KNOWING you could do something #but being unable to do it right. always forgetting always slipping up #and how mad that makes you. at yourself. #this fight is so much #fhjy #d20 #dimension 20 #fantasy high

[brightlotusmoon]

#called the fuck out #hi this is me #being adhd #being autistic and adhd with learning disorders is a neat trick #i have been called out and i'm okay with it #i feel personally attacked

[vroomvroomwee]

Omg omg omg. It all makes so much more sense when you realise it's not social anxiety but a fear of being perceived.

Why do you feel more comfortable with a long coat and a mask as opposed to summer clothes?

Why do you DESPISE taking pictures? Especially if it's someone else and not you taking them.

Why do you feel like you have to stop doing whatever it was you were doing when someone passes by?

Why don't you want to tell anyone how leisurely you go about your day, taking a nap, going for a snack, sitting on your phone playing games etc. because you know they will comment on it and even though it's not negative or mockery it's still feels like you've been perceived?

Why can't you make eye contact? Why can you do it only if the other person is looking away but the second when they look at you you stop listening and when you're the one speaking you can't bear to look at them because you know their eyes are on you and they are perceiving you?

Why don't you want to dress excessively or wear nicer clothes? Because you will stand out

People mistake you for shy because you don't speak often, but it's really the fear of drawing attention to yourself more than it is the things you actually say, isn't it?

Why do you hate overpopulated areas even when no one is speaking? BUT you still feel more comfortable when more than one person is in the room (but not too many!) so that the burden of being perceived is directed on someone else and you can safely lay back just observing the scene.

It's all a defence mechanism

#autism #audhd #actually autistic #autistic things #actually audhd #adhd #actually adhd #adhd problems #neurodivergence #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #social anxiety #anxitey #fear of being perceived

[paperbagedhead]

It's OK to not want to be touched, but sometimes...

(btw isn’t crying because they aren't getting hugged, it’s for an unrelated reason.)

#Mostly a message to myself #to remind me that some people are worth being uncomfortable for #autism #adhd #tbh creature #btw creature #adhd creature #autism creature #creature lore #my art #5k

[evilesbiautism]

"ok but are you diagnosed" what are you a cop.

#reminder that being diagnosed as autistic/ otherwise disabled is meant to help YOU. #if abled ppl expect u to justify every little thing u say abt ur experiences as (insert disability) they should explode #also if you dont wanna get officially diagnosed bc it will make your life harder no one will judge you. if they do theyre assholes #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #autism #autistic #autism pride #adhd #actually adhd #actuallyadhd #only tagging this as adhd and autism bc its all I am. however this can be about Literally any disability

[theadhdgoblin]

#adhd memes #actually autistic #goblin things #adhd #being autistic #enby things #adhdlife #adhd things #autistic burnout #adhd problems #actually adhd #adhd goblin

[slithymomerath]

They don’t want us medicated (“do you want to be dependent on that for the rest of your life?”), they don’t want us unmedicated (“please stop doing xyz, why can’t you do abc?”), they just want us to stop being neurodivergent.

#also applies to physical disabilities and literally any condition that requires medication #you could even stretch it to trans people #’stop being depressed’ ‘stop taking hrt’ which is it then? #under the surface ​it’s always just ‘stop being the way you are’ #neurodivergent #adhd #adhd meds #medication #campost

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Teachers in the 2000s were like: "Wow, ADHD is such a trend diagnosis. It is very concerning how these lazy parents and arrogant doctors just put a label on kids instead of helping them properly. They're just harming them in the long run! Anyway, random student, here are your daily punishments for being lazy, disorganised, distracted, late, too loud, too quiet-"

#I say 2000s but let's be real I still see it and I see the next generation being raised to continue that way #adhd