#because i am so young and not experienced. and yes i guess that is true i dont think i make good art | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boosari · 10 months

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biggest worries — h.j

pairings: joshua x reader (vernon is also present)

genre: angst (with a drop of fluff)

warnings: mentions of bullying victim (if you experience any of that, please do not stay silent), reader is an over thinker, drinking (wine), one curse word.

wk: 1.7k

summary: you're finally ready to confess your deep love for Joshua with a lot of overthinking. However, your worries were nothing compared to the real problem.

Love is beautiful, love is caring, is being happy, is being intimate, love is trust, passion, commitment.

Love is beautiful,

as beautiful as cruel.

You've experienced love. Since young age, you have loved. Since you were a high school student, where people would judge you, regardless of how you looked, how you behaved, what particularities you had, your flaws, even your qualities.

You were judged. You were belittled, insulted and made fun of. Like you were some kind of joke to people. You didn't expect so much cruelty when you started high school.

It made you suffer, indeed. It made you feel oppressed, like you weren't enough, like something was wrong with you. You always tried to stay strong, tried to ignore, the ignorance of the people. Because you knew that you were better. You knew you were not like them.

And there he comes. He, who helped you when you were crushed by the words of those unfeeling people. He who smiled at you, who always stood by your side, who always stood up for you.

That's when you understood what love was like. What love felt like.

'Is this love?' Was what you thought.

An emotion, so deep, so tight, so sharp and unavoidable towards someone. So this is what it feels like.

It made you warm, beat your heart faster. It made you feel heat in your cheeks, sometimes all of your face. He would just look at you while smiling. His sweet, sooth voice ringing in your ears made you love him more each day. His soft features, full brows, sharp, yet elegant eyes, small polished nose, and prominent lips. Made you fall in real love.

Joshua was always kind with you. He was the sweetest person you've ever met since you started school. He would always greet you, smiling, making his eyes almost, almost disappear.

After he defended you, no one bothered you anymore. And you were grateful. You wanted to return the favour. And you were doing it by loving him. That's what you thought.

That feeling has never changed, except for the fact that it increased even more. You're now a senior, near graduating. You still love Joshua, more than ever.

And you were planning on finally confessing your love to him. It's been four long years. He always made you feel comfortable, safe and loved. He always treated you right, always been sweet, with his words and actions. You often hanged out, and had good times together. You always smiled when you were with him.

"What if I mess up?" The nervousness in your voice couldn't get passed unnoticed by your friend Vernon.

Vernon is another amazing friend of yours. You became friends in 10th grade. He is a common friend of you and Joshua. He also is the only one who knows about your big crush on his friend.

Vernon sighs, rolling his eyes for the nth time today.

"You're overthinking Y/n".

He's right. You are. But you have good reasons for it.

"You can't blame me Nonie. You know how I am" You reply bothered, banging your head against the kitchen table.

"It's simple, Y/n. You have liked him for years now, you have to tell how you feel. If he feels the same, boom, you date". He gestures with his hands.

"And what if he doesn't?" You raise your head, a small pout on your lips.

"Well, then you will stay friends? I guess?" He tilts his head, making a weird face.

You giggle at him. "I honestly wouldn't mind that. I would feel sad, yes, but he is a good friend. He makes me feel safe, that's everything i need from him. Just being a good friend". You stare at blankly at the table.

It's true. Joshua is a good friend of yours, aside from being the boy you love. Staying friends with him didn't bother you, if you got rejected, you just hoped to stay the same. For him to stay the same. To be the same Joshua who would always smile, who would always listen to you and give you advices.

Just a good friend.

"But what if the confession will ruin everything? I mean, if I get rejected, will he change? What if I ruin our friendship? What if he gets distant? What if he-"

Your rambling is interrupted by your friend's voice.

"Y/n. Knowing Joshua, I think he would probably reject you politely. Nothing between you two would change if you ask me". You watch your friend getting up and opening your fridge.

"Wow, you really need to do some grocery shopping" He mumbles, staring at your almost empty fridge.

You let out a small laugh. "Yea, I really should".

Vernon grabs a bottle of wine, probably one of the last things left in your fridge, closes it and proceeds to take two glasses from the cabinet on top of the sink. He makes his way back to the table.

"This is what you need right now" He smiles, showing you the wine bottle. You keep watching your friend pouring the liquor in the glasses.

"Okay, let's have this drink, a cheers to you and Joshua? Hmm? How about this, you'll call him, later, or maybe tomorrow, whenever you're ready. No need to rush. You will ask him to hang out, like you mostly do, and will confess. Okay?" Your friend calmly states, pushing one of the glasses towards you as he picks the other.

You smile warmly at him and nod, picking up your glass as well. You both raise it and chin, before drinking.

Your phone suddenly feels heavier in your hands which are shaking lightly as you breathe heavily.

What if I ruin everything?

You close your eyes and sigh.

"You can do this. Just like every other time, it's not the first time you hang out Y/n" You mumble to yourself, before taking a deep breath and scrolling through the contacts.

You bite your lip nervously before clicking on Joshua's number, putting the phone on your ear.

After two rings, he picks up.

"Hello?" his sweet voice echos through the line, you squint your eyes.

"Hi Joshua" you reply, trying to hide the nervousness in your trembling voice.

"Hi Y/n, everything okay?" You could feel his smile through the phone.

"I'm good, thank you. I uhm, wanted to ask you if you wanted to hang out one of these days.." You were now walking back and forth in your room.

"Sure, why not? When would you like to?"

"How about...tomorrow? By the park near your house at 6?" You bite your nails.

"Okay then, it's settled. See you tomorrow Y/n" Through the line, you hear some wind and a car pass by. He probably wasn't at home, you thought.

"See you" You mumble before hanging up.

As soon as you hang up, you let out a long breath, putting a hand on your chest.

You regain yourself and walk to the kitchen, feeling a bit hungry. It was late, but a night snack won't hurt right?

Opening your fridge, you see nothing except some eggs, few apples and a bottle of water. You groan, remembering Vernon's statement of few days ago.

You close the fridge, making up your mind. You walk to your room and put on a light jacket. You grab your wallet, keys and walk to the door. Time for some late night grocery shopping.

As you walk out, you get on the elevator and pull out your phone. You send a quick massage to Vernon.

y/nssi

Hey, I called Joshua, we're meeting tomorrow.

Vernon almost immediately replies.

chew

You go girl 🫵

You smile and shake your head. The elevator door opens and you exit, making your way to the nearest grocery store.

Thankfully, there was one 5 minutes away. You get in and look around, walking through the isles. You get some veggies, some fruits, other ingredients, some instant ramen, and some sweets, such as chocolate, cookies, and strawberry milk.

You make your way to the counter and pay. Putting everything in the plastic bag, you smile and great the cashier before getting out.

You sigh and start walking home. While walking, you raise your head and notice two figures standing at the side of the road. You squint your eyes, one of them was a bit too familiar. His silhouette, his outfit, the way he was standing, the outlines of his hair. Everything was too familiar.

"Is that Joshua..?" you mutter to yourself.

A small laugh suddenly rings in your ears and your eyes widen.

It was him.

He wasn't alone tho. Tangled with his laugh was another, of a female. You look at her, you don't recall anything. You probably didn't know her. She was beautiful tho, even in the dark, you could see her pale, cotton coloured skin, her smooth hair, her double eyelids, small nose and full lips.

You kept looking at them, they looked very close.

She looks up at him, still smiling, before getting on her tiptoes, her lips touch his.

She kissed him.

Joshua pulls her close, wrapping an arm around her waist.

Captured by the moment, you didn't notice that the plastic bag you were holding dropped.

You freeze, not being able to move. Your eyes are wide. You feel the cold breeze hit your face. Your heart aches, breaks into pieces. It was painful, it was ripping your chest.

You suddenly feel a salty taste in your mouth, and only then you realise that tears were streaming down your face.

You get back to reality, crouch down and pick up the bag before running away.

You didn't care if he noticed, you didn't care if he saw you. You just kept running, the tears weren't stopping, the ache wasn't either.

It was hurting. Your heart was hurting.

You were sad, miserable, you felt pathetic.

But most of all, you felt disappointed. You were disappointed in him.

You knew each other for years, and never even once he dared to mention about her. Why would he do that? Why?

Maybe it was your fault? Maybe you should've asked? Maybe he didn't want to tell you..? Maybe they just met each other..?

No, you knew Joshua. He wouldn't kiss a girl he just met. They probably knew each other.

Shame on him.

He always acted nice and sweet, always cared for you, always made you happy. He always gave you hints, gave you hope.

Everything was fake. Everything was an illusion. And now you're here, a crying mess. Your legs moving on its own, hoping to reach home fast. Your head hurts from all the thinking.

You worried, you were concerned, you always though about him, about your relationship, your friendship. You were worried about confessing, being rejected, about ruining everything. About loosing him.

You didn't want to blame him, but there was no one else to blame.

Your thoughts, assumptions, your biggest worries weren't even a problem...

The real problem was totally another.

Love is beautiful, indeed.

But it's cruel as fuck.

a/n: gosh i love angst. i love making myself (and you🫵) suffer heheh...by the way, i honestly don't even know how i came up with this, just thought for a moment and as we know joshua is our gentleman, sweet soul. but i wanted to make it a little sad so here it is. i hope you guys enjoy :)

masterlist

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #svt imagines #seventeen joshua #svt joshua #joshua hong #joshua imagines #joshua x reader #joshua x you #hong joshua x reader #seventeen angst #svt angst #boosari

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clover-the-awesomest · 4 months

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Talkin bout Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel) for a hot sec okay thanks

Okay. Listen. This is a pretty big topic I’m gonna be delving into, and it’s a topic I’ve had no real exposure to until recently, so a lot of the things I’ll be saying is of my own opinion. I will be talking about SA, child abuse, abuse in general, alcohol, self-destructing, SH, and Hazbin Hotel in general. All of these are very big topics (Yes, including Hazbin lol) so if you are not keen on listening to some outsider talk about these things, please leave. I don’t want you reading something that will actively make you uncomfortable.

And again, let me reiterate: I am an outsider looking in. I have had no real exposure to any of these topics until I watched Hazbin Hotel episode 4. This is not meant to be a call-out or me making any educated guesses. It is purely just for my sake and so I can say my piece about these topics. DO NOT, IN ANY CASE, ASSUME I KNOW 100% WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. I AM YOUNG AND DUMB, AND I AM VERY LIKELY TO MAKE SOME HOT TAKES HERE. IF I MAKE A MISTAKE OR SAY SOMETHING CONTROVERSIAL, DO NOT HESITATE TO HARRASS ME, BUT BE WARNED THAT I WILL NOT ENGAGE.

One final disclaimer: If you know anyone. ANYONE who is going through a rough patch, or someone who has experienced any of these things before or are currently going through it, please please PLEASE just at least reach out. Say hi. Make them a gift. Listen to them talk. Sit with them for a while. Stay on call with them for a while. Just… Just be there for them. Please. Even a little can go a long way.

With all that out of the way, here is my very overdue take on Hazbin Hotel episode 4: Masquerade.

———

====

It is depressing. Genuinely, it is a very sad and very raw episode. And honestly? It does not deserve any of the hate that it is most certainly receiving.

Masquerade is an episode all about the horrors of an abusive (Sexually and otherwise) relationship and how it affects the one being abused. Angel Dust, who’s been shown before this episode to be very toxic and sexual, is once again given the spotlight that he very much deserves, shedding light on his behavior and why he acts the way he acts.

What is genuinely saddening about this episode is that we know that what Angel goes through is not far from reality in the slightest. If we take away the magic and the soul contracts, we get a day in the life of a real human being in the world right now as you are reading this. Someone is out there being hurt, being abused, by someone they once looked up to. They are being manipulated, being slapped, being thrown against the floor, and all the while they are powerless to do anything. It’s such a sad, sickening reality that I wish wasn’t true, but it is, and that’s that. I want more than anything to be able to help these people who are being hurt and are being used, but I currently have no way of doing that and I feel so so terrible and wrong for saying that but it’s true and I just… Ugh. It’s so depressing, really. The lengths that other human beings are willing to go to just to have someone under their control at all times. I hate it, truly.

“When I say ‘Come,’ you say…”

“Yes, Valentino.”

“When I say you are fucking 20 guys before lunch, you say…?”

“Y-yes, Valentino…”

…

Valentino wants money and control. That is all this fucker wants. The moment he laid eyes on Angel’s desperate drunken ass he instantly knew he struck gold, and just like that, the spider was under his control. In the beginning, Angel did just as he was told with little pushback, because he was looking to make a quick buck and this was also literally a goddamn overlord he was working with. Disappointing his boss could spell disaster! After a while though, Val’s demands became much more intrusive and much more harsh than they were at the beginning, and Angel’s hope for a fresh start began to slowly fade away. Soon enough, he got to where he is now. Still working with Valentino, but wanting desperately to find a way out. To be free from this double-hell that he’s dug himself into. To be happy again. But of course, now that he’s dug himself a grave and has already lied in it for some time, he can’t exactly escape. Valentino has seen his work first-hand, has experienced it with his own disgusting fuzzy body, and loves it all with every fiber in his bones. He doesn’t just want someone to fuck 20 guys before lunch. He wants Angel to fuck 20 guys before lunch. He’s found his new favorite toy, and he intends to keep playing with it.

Now this is where the manipulation comes in. Angel wants to leave, he knows he does, but he also knows that he can’t. Literally, he can’t, because his soul is bound by a contract that only Val has access to, but even without that in the picture, he cannot leave. It was shown via a previous episode (I forget which one I’m not sorry) that Valentino cannot and will not let go of his favorite toy. He sends Angel text after text after text, voicemails, emails, calls, you name it. We see a clip of him sending Angel a large amount of voicemails, and in each one he switched between being nice and caring to his spider baby to going full on insane! He yells at Angel in one voicemail, then starts cooing and whispering in kindly tones in the next. It’s such a terrifying way of showing the abused that the abuser can change their mood on a dime and that they can’t control it. That they need an out, something to let their frustrations out on. It terrifies the abused into staying, leaving them both to fester in this cycle of cat and mouse for a while before one of them inevitably breaks said cycle. Though it usually isn’t broken until it’s too late.

There is one upper hand that Angel has over Valentino though, and it’s that he knows what Valentino is doing and doesn’t fall for those kinds of tricks. Angel is a spider, and spiders are well-known for being tricky and sinister and gross, so naturally he’d pick up on Val’s manipulative behavior. This then leads Angel into another issue in his life though, and that’s his coping mechanisms.

Since Angel knows how terrible Valentino’s treatment towards him is, and since he knows how much it hurts him, he turns to other things that don’t exactly help. Alcohol, drugs, clubbing, more goddamn sex like can this man please just stop having sex if he wants to get away from it please can he just have a break por favor-

These are good substitutes for the pain. They are like numbing agents, or more questionable anti-depressants. Angel goes to the club to forget it all, to forget how much everything hurts. He goes to get heavy drinks so that he can forget. He gets high so he can forget. He has sex so he can forget.

He hurts himself more so that he can forget.

Rather than talking with someone and dealing with his stress and emotional turmoil head-on, Angel pushes it away. Off to the side. Bottles it up in a small plastic container where he’ll never have to see it again! But when leaving a glass of water under the tap for too long, it’ll quickly begin to overflow, and that’s what we see happen with Angel in Masquerade. It’s been so long of him using his illegal methods of forgetting, of numbing the pain and ignoring it, that everything just begins to spill over. He starts losing his touch, starts affecting those around him who clearly had nothing to do with any of it in the first place. He oversteps Husk’s boundaries, is constantly rude to Charlie and Vaggie, and just straight up ignores everyone else. (As far as I’m aware. Not mentioning Pentious in this btw cuz he’s a temporary resident at the hotel.) Even when Husk calls Angel out on his behavior, even when he calls the guy fake, the spider does not, CANNOT, budge. He remains indignant, is still a cocky little bitch, and just tries his hardest to not drag everyone else down with him. It backfires horribly, of course, and Husk soon ends up dragging him away from his escape, from his anti-depressant. And Angel snaps.

”IT’S NOT AN ACT!! It’s who I need to be…! And this? This is my escape! Where I can forget about it all, how much I hate… EVERYTHING. A place where I can get high and not have to think about how much it hurts.”

And then… We get this line.

“And maybe, if I can ruin myself enough in the process, if I end up broken, I won’t be his favorite toy anymore.

And maybe he’ll let me go.”

…

This line hurts me so much. My chest aches every time I hear it. Because what it entails is genuinely horrifying. Angel is telling Husk that he is literally just a toy to Valentino, just a perfect plastic doll that he loves in a perfect plastic house that he owns. The spider doesn’t know how much it’ll take to full break himself, doesn’t know if he’s even able to do that, but at this rate he is very ready to see if he can. He wants to do that, he wants to break himself. Angel wants to become physically unable to do Valentino’s dirty work, to get thrown away just like all of Val’s previous toys did. He wants, more than anything else, to just get tossed into the trash and get crushed by the truck that collects him, just so he doesn’t have to be hurt by Valentino anymore.

But the part of his speech that truly hurts me is when he says that MAYBE Valentino will let him go. If Angel was so sure that his idea would work, that breaking his boss’s favorite toy will get him to lose interest, he would’ve said “And then he’ll finally let me go.” But instead he says Maybe. Because Angel isn’t even sure if Valentino will let him be free after all this. He is unsure if Val will lose interest, if he’ll be tossed aside, if he’ll be able to find happiness in his afterlife once he is broken. He’s so far from what he dreamed of that he is more than willing to hurt/kill himself, even when he’s unaware if it’ll even help him in the first place.

Seriously. How sickening is that??

And again, one of the saddest aspects of all this is that real people experience these things in real time, in the real world, right now, as you are reading this. It’s terrifying, scary, downright depressing to think about! How so many people are willing to kill themselves just for the slightest chance at grasping freedom, yet are unsure if they can even reach it once they have that chance.

The worst part is, though, is that before opening up to Husk, this was literally Angel’s only way of finding freedom. To break himself apart so that he couldn’t be used anymore. If he can’t be broken, if he can’t die, then Val will just keep using and using and using Angel. He’ll keep hurting him and abusing him and manipulating him, and the poor guy is very unable to do anything about it at the moment. It’s so sad and so twisted and I hate it so much.

This episode of Hazbin Hotel has been getting a pretty fair amount of hatred just for existing, and honestly for once, I can see why. It touches on a very, very heavy subject that not too many people are fully familiar with. And even if there are people who are familiar with/have experienced SA before, they most likely did not have the same experience as Angel does in the episode. Which, yeah duh, of course they didn’t! We’re not in Hell yet! But the way they go about it is horrible. I’m assuming people are hating on the episode for both painting SA in a terrible light, and also not being true to their specific events. So, in response to this, let me just say this…

Nobody, no matter what, no matter what you do or where you go or who you are, is gonna have the same exact experience. For example, I went on a big hiking trip with my dad over the summer, and I saw many other families go on the same exact path we did. And yet I could tell they all were doing fine, and they all enjoyed themselves, while I was feeling like I was gonna fall and die at any fucking moment and I just wanted to get back on solid ground. The view was nice but the journey honestly made me think I was gonna go splat right then and there and I was not too happy about that.

What I’m saying is that I did not have the same exact experience to anyone else on that trail. Everyone else except for me was doing fine, yet their experiences were all purely their own. This is what makes us human. The difference in appearance, expression, and experience. Thus, for people to come out and watch an episode all about SA and for them to expect it to be exactly as they imagined… No. just no. Get a therapist, please, because you clearly have something wrong with you.

And as for painting SA in a terrible light… That’s… That’s good though? SA is genuinely a horrible thing and I do not, under any circumstances, want anyone ever to go through anything remotely like it. We are human beings! We have compassion in our blood! Use it, for fuck’s sake! I do not want anyone to ever be hurt by anyone else that they know or love dearly. That is a thought I’d never wish on even my greatest enemy! So yes, it should be painted in a horrible, terrible light! It’s bad!

====

———

This episode was… It was a lot. I still get sad and depressed to this day whenever I watch it. What I watch Angel go through makes me sick. However, I’m glad that issues like these are being addressed and that people are talking about it. I don’t like it in the slightest, but that’s why it should be talked about more. We need to be able to help more people, and even though I can’t right now, I pray to God that someone out there is hopefully getting the help and love that they truly do deserve.

Thank you so so much for reading through that whole thing, I know it was a long one. I just have so many thoughts on episode 4. I’ve been working on this for almost an hour and a half now btw so I am very gladly going to end it here. Hope you show some love and respect to those close to you and I really do hope you keep the negative thoughts to yourself. Now go get yourself a drink of water, go eat a banana or a bowl of cheerios, text your loved ones and hug ur stuffed animal, and have a great day/night! Thank you.

#That was… That was a lot. Yeah.#Come harass me all you want idgaf #wordz #random shit #angel dust hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #has been hoe tell

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astramachina · 2 days

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WIP questionnaire tag

the indomitable @fortunatetragedy tagged me on this baby while i was away and boy howdy do i love talking about my projects.

diving headfirst into The Singularity Project (codename: T.E.S. CO) for this one, babes.

What’s the first part of your WIP that you created?

The Vibes. Last October I was being harassed by a brain worm (lol) that did not want to become concrete in any way, and the only way I could get it down was by writing "the vibes" of what I wanted. Those vibes included "hazy 60s lounge", "synth", "Panos Cosmatos' style for weird ass stuff", and "burnt orange".

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

What Have You Become by MNQN, but more 80s-fied. And because I feel like it, it's end credits song would be I Remember by Tristam but like... slightly more melancholic.

What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

So far, it'll have to be Verne. Neither hero or villain, he's the protagonist's father, and while he isn't physically in the story (as far as I can tell) he inescapably haunts the narrative. By "saving the world" the only way he thought possible, he doomed his son to a life no one deserves. He's also a silly guy who thinks himself a god (derogatory) and is wanted for several crimes against humanity. Second fave is Mike, our deuteragonist. He's just a guy trying to make a living but his work crush has been acting super weird by knocking back 20+ cans of soda per shift and claiming he can "hear the Mall speaking to him".

What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?

Tumblrinas (affectionate, gender neutral) would probably also be reblogging some horror webseries things (SCP, The Walten Files, The Backrooms, etc), as well as more classic horror such as Re-Animator, The Thing, and The Fly.

What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

.......Yes. When the story started to form I struggled with the idea of capturing it in a single medium. I am first and foremost a writer, obvs, but a lot of the story relied heavily on visual storytelling. I eventually decided to turn this into a "multi-media project", which means there's a huge chunk of writing, but there are also segments that can only be experienced through audio and visuals (and maybe some fun ARG-esque puzzles). Three POVs? Each POV has its own timeline and its own medium? Did I embark on a multi-month journey to learn Blender and video editing? Am I still trying to get the story down? The answer is yes. (Help me.)

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Yes. Mike has an anthill because it's the only thing he can keep alive.

How do your characters travel/get around?

In the 1911 portion? Via ship. Ernest Shackleton's ship on its voyage to the Antarctic, to be exact. In the 1981 portion? Via bus. Mike's too broke to afford a car. In the 2021 portion? Via car. [Cy] is the man with the plan... and also the car to drive his crew around.

What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

Mike's journals, which covers the events of 1981 through 1983. This part is the bulk of the entire project, and the part that is mostly told through writing.

What aspects (tropes, maybe?) will you think draw your audience in?

So many morally gray characters. But also morally corrupt characters. And morally confused characters.

I hope you like your monsters goopy, and your effects practical.

Don't worry about the cult swearing they can save the soul of a poor young "confused" man.

The true friends were the transgender allegories we made along the way.

What is the point of Man vs. Machine when the Man knows not what he is.

The worm can talk and it has anxiety. I think it's gay?

What are your hopes for your WIP?

TO COMPLETE IT. LMAO. Mostly I just want to be able to stand up and say "Hey, look what I made! I made it because I wanted to and all my hard work paid off!" But I guess it would also be neat to have some sort of cult following? Would love to see fanart of what people think some of the characters look like! I wanna see fic! Give me fan songs I can blast while I drive! I wanna see certain YouTubers react/try to "solve" it so that I can sit there shaking my head. You know. The usual.

this took way longer than i expected so i'ma quick tag @ap0stle, @kairahara, @wrencatte, and YOU.

#texts.#long post #wip: the singularity project #tag game #fortunatetragedy

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house-of-lovin · 1 year

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am I crazy or is everybody very focused on R’s exes? Very interesting asks at first but now I don’t really see very much questions here that aren’t about that ? Come on bros what about the other kinds of relationships in R’s life ! I’m so curious

(Just my assumptions, I say think a lot sorryyyy)

At what age did R meet Link? I know he’s her best friend and he’s known her since before R had her legal separation from parents at 18!

Also does Link ever feel like he’s more of her caretaker than her best friend ? I know he cares about her but I was just wondering if part of the reason he doesn’t leave even after she’s so difficult is because he feels like he owes R so it’s not necessarily always out of love. (I remember you mentioning R employing him and he brought up how all the money is sent to provide for his grandma)

I know R is close to J’s family now but who is she closest to and why? I can imagine J’s family being the kind of people to wanna care for R as if she was one of their own.

I’d personally assume it’s J’s parents! It sounds as if R’s never experienced a genuine paternal nurturing presence before (I know there’s been mentions about Link being that but I see his presence as brotherly) and J’s family is so family oriented, because of the lack of knowledge they have about R’s family that’s something they’d recognize immediately; R doesn’t talk about her family much.

I would guess they naturally slipped into that role for R, R and J’s parents love language seems to me as if it’s acts of service and quality time for not only giving but receiving. I can imagine there’s things they do for R that catch her off guard

(Ex.

R not mentioning she’s hungry because she doesn’t wanna be a bother but her stomach grumbles. Nat asks R about the last time she ate, R’s response makes Nat concerned so she not only tells R that she needs to eat more but makes her some food. Nat tells R that she has to sit at the table and wait for the food but it’s just so she can talk to R, in passing Nat mentions what she’s making is something her own mom made for her family and that she loves making for her family.

Ed asking R if she wants to go for a drive sometime after she fixes the car. For awhile they’re just aimlessly driving around and getting to know eachother a little better, Ed tells R about the memories each spot they pass by has.)

I think they’d be able to sense these aren’t common occurrences for R and her own family because of how caught off guard she is and how R beams with appreciation of it afterwards, they get to see the little soft kid in R whenever that happens and I think it’d make them a little sad that so little seems like so much to R.

I think because they’re parents they’d see the three consistent people in R’s life Link, Jake and Liz as people who are only there because they work for R (even if it’s not true). To them R really has no one in her corner and she’s been facing everything and everyone with no consistent genuine support from anyone, I’d think this is why they’d be more worried than angry/disappointed about the headlines she’s been making lately. Because to them even if it’s true it’s always been R against the world and thats too much for someone to handle on their own, of course she’d break eventually- she’s never been given a proper chance to breathe.

hope you’re having a lovely day :D

love answering questions like these!

I imagine Link and R grew up in the same neighbourhood, so they'd have met in elementary/primary school.

Interesting take about Link feeling like R's caretaker. I don't really see that tbh (although yes, R is very difficult) this is a friendship that's lasted probably 20+ years (or close to).

Idk if you guys have ever had adult friendships that started when you were very young and lasted into adulthood but those friendships are HARD TO BREAK. It doesn't matter how much you fuck up, that person will always be there for you. (it's a very special kind of bond)

My bsf and I have been friends for like 13+ years and best believe we don't always agree with each other's actions/decisions but that person is... your person. (in chapter 7, Link refers to himself as R's person.) No matter how much they fuck up, you'll always be there for them. I think I lowkey based R and Link on me and my bsf LOL.

I agree with your analysis of R's relationship with J's family and her parents.

I would imagine when R and J are finally dating, she'd be SO close to J's parents. THEY FOR SURE WOULD TAKE R IN AND MAKE HER PART OF THE FAMILY 🥹

J's dad taking R for a drive🥹 (yes for me)

J's mom feeding R cause R probably can't cook, too busy yk (ANOTHER YES FOR ME)

I like how you said they'd be more worried than angry about the headlines... I can def see that👀

(we're gonna see more interactions with R and J's family dw. I dont want give anything away but 👀)

THANKS FOR SENDING THESE ANON! So fun to answer and I love how deeply you thought abt your questions (v refreshing to answer something different lol)

hope you're having a lovely day babes♥️

#ask #legally binded

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iamtheoneandonlyever · 11 months

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my color theory on byler and mlvn

i made this color theory a couple months ago when i wasn't on tumblr so its been lying around. so imma share it

its kinda long so beware i guess?

i have two ways of imagining this theory so that it includes more possibilities. for reference i imagine the main trio's individual colors as

mike-blue (for obvious reasons) will-yellow (for obvious reasons) el-purple (bcoz purple flowers)

and just for understanding, max-red (i picture her as a flame and a flame for me is red)

according to this color scheme,

mike + el = just a bluer purple or navy blue

there is nothing new we get out of it. its repetitive and they dont mix together all that well. its JUST a mixture of them as people.

also, its interesting that el = mike + max according to the color scheme.

the only people el has interacted with (just not on a surface level interaction but actually made an impression on her) who also her age are: mike and max. this just shows she's still picking up on things around her and is still just trying to be her own person.

also note that the result is the same for both additive color mixing and subtractive color mixing.

symbolism of navy blue: trust, stability, reliability last season proved that el has been lying to mike and vice versa. they are both lying to each other even though it was introduced by mike(in the show) that friends dont lie. their relationship is not stable at this point. el is not happy that mike is unable to say ily to her and while that issue is solved at the end of the season, we are shown that el is still not talking to mike. that doesnt sound exactly stable and reliable even though that's what the symbolism tells us. you wanna know WHY?

because el and mike aren't showing their true colors! (sorry, not sorry lol) not to each other at least.

and onto byler:

subtractive color mixing: mike + will = green

as compared to mlvn, we see that mike and will together make something new, something fresh.

green symbolizes growth, new beginnings, safety mike and will confide in each other. they do that coz they are best friends. they feel safe with each other. it also accounts for character growth in both of them. will realizing that, yes, he can have good things, he does deserve what he wants and for mike, he deserves someone who loves him unconditionally, is at an equal level as him and that he too can actually have what he wants. it also give both the characters new beginnings. i could go on and on but for the sake of not extending this post longer than it has to be,

additive color mixing: mike + will = white

white symbolizes purity, innocence, loyalty purity directly counters the fact that lgbt people were said to be unpure and carriers of AIDS during the 80s. this shows how love cannot be impure. love is the best thing this world can offer. they are just innocent kids who have been through too much, just experiencing young love.

all of this is also applicable in the context of friendship as their deep friendship is the root of the romance.

and this next part is for the people who say they think of el as red instead of purple, making mike, will and el all primary colors as they are the primary components of the story.

as mike found el while trying to find will who went missing due to some events, which are byproducts of el's actions. it all comes full circle to the 3 of them. i am not saying will went missing because of el, but you've gotta admit that el does come into the loop a little.

subtractive color mixing: mike + el = purple

purple symbolizes royalty and luxury. most people want to be royals, but the dealbreaker is:

dun dun dun

conformity

people dont want to be restricted by always having to follow some restrictions all the time. mike also has to follow the restrictions from liking boys. he is forced to like el. forced by whom? himself. for him, it should be a luxury to be able to date el, a superhero, an amazing, kind-hearted girl, he has expressed this.

additive color mixing: mike + el = magenta (ignore the fact this is pink)

magenta symbolizes balance and harmony. there has been no evidence in the show itself that they balance each other out or are in harmony. it shows that mike sees el on a pedestal (you are a superhero) and they have not had more than two happy moments in one season alone when they started dating. you see, they were just fine when they were friends. the trouble started when they started dating.

also note the fact that byler works both for friends (as we have seen in the show) and romantic (as they probably will end) but mlvn as shown in the show for romance does not work out (s3 and s4), but as friends they can actually bond well and be friends (s1) as for s2, el probably finds the entire thing romantic but i dont think mike tries as much and just wants her back as he considered her as his friend (he does not move at all, either towards or away from el, when she tries to kiss him before going to close the gate with hopper).

also note that magenta and purple are both a bit similar to look at while there is obviously a huge difference between green and white.

to make it easy, i quote garnet from steven universe: i am more than the two of them together or something. i dont remember it exactly but this is the general idea.

if you made it this far, i am sorry. if i hurt your brain, i am sorry. if what i wrote is gibberish and makes no sense, i am sorry. *cries*

this is literally my third post ever on tumblr so i dont how to tag. i am not a native english speaker. Thank you for reading. i appreciate it.

#byler #byler analysis #or just an analysis? idk #how to tag?

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lenievi · 1 year

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snw #7 (rewatch)

Spock: I very much look forward to [kolinahr].

I still don’t get why they decided to make kolinahr something mandatory for Vulcans... I mean on one hand, yes, it at least makes TMP a bit better, because Spock was always heading towards kolinahr after the end of his 5ym (he went through three 5ym, he was 40, seems like a good age for it), I guess, but also how to explain that Sarek skipped his? And don’t try to tell me that Sarek went through kolinahr. Unless he went through it as a young Vulcan of 40, and then at 60, he met Amanda and the effects lessened lol

- it’s weird they’re having phasers on them on the bridge (it’s like Spock carrying a phaser on the bridge in Beyond, it’s like ??? to me; non military vessel, sure. At least Spock doesn’t have one, but still)

- Spock’s pretty violent

The question isn’t what you are. It’s who you are.

Sybok! You are my brother, but you do not know me. I am not the outcast boy you left behind those many years ago. Since that time I found myself and my place and I know who I am. I cannot go with you.

- Pike seems to be way worse with his antics that Kirk lol Kirk might be a much calmer captain at the end of the day. Spock was probably reliving his Pike nightmares during A Piece of the Action (makes sense why he was pretty comfortable with role-playing, even though he was bad at it) His exasperation makes perfect sense because he experienced something similar with Pike for eleven years.

- in some way, I think this is Pike’s true self, but with Kirk, it’s acting and pretending that he eventually grows comfortable with, more or less

- I love Spock/T’Pring so much. I don’t want to see them go downhill T___T It’s not that I don’t like Spock/Chapel, but I just prefer the dynamic Spock and T’Pring have

- in some way “you know me well” that Spock said to both T’Pring and Chapel is like “you know me well because you’re telling me what I want to hear and what I try to believe” but he isn’t aware of it, because he truly believes it is that way atm

- Chapel: Isn’t Ambassador Sarek your father as well? is so funny, I can’t. Why did they do this? To make me laugh at Kirk even more? LOL (if at any point in snw they make Kirk aware of any one of Spock’s relatives, it’s literally over. No connection to TOS lol Like that’s not something to fix, it’s a “feature” that Kirk doesn’t know, ok)

ranking: 5 - 3 - 1 - 7 - 2 - 4 - 6

#snw nonsense #whyyy is spock featured so heavily in every single episode....#i guess the next one is finally light on him but i also didn't really enjoy that one since it was all just imaginary #i hope s2 is better about it

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marshmallowprotection · 1 year

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I don't know why am I like that but I always feel so emotional about V. Whenever I think about his fate in different routes, about his complicated love, about the way he thinks and feels, his suffering, his pain, his broken relationships and life; about the way people hate him in the fandom, the harsh words they say... everything.

I love him so much but loving him for some reason always means feeling pain. Whether from reading a certain AE or a hateful comment on the internet or even seeing his absence on a new CG.

I know it all sounds pretty stupid. I know he's not real, but these feelings just don't go away. They eat at my heart very very painfully.

I just want to shield and protect him from all the cruel things thrown at him. I want to hug him from behind, bury my face in his back and cry, whispering "Please, don't betray me. Please, don't leave...".

That's when I remember MC's quote from his route: "Stay. Stay and find a new path". Part of me starts to feel better, remembering his route, his happy or even normal ending, but then I remember it's the only timeline where he is okay and I feel that gnawing pain again.

I can always say to myself that MM is an otome and every route can be a true one depending on who plays the game, I can imagine different scenarios in my head or read fanfics, but it never seems to ease that pain. I don't know why.

God, I feel so stupid. Pathetic even. But I guess that's the price I have to pay for indulging into fictional character's story TOO much.

Sorry for such a long and cringey message. I got too much into explaining those complicated feelings. I wanted to ask whether you experienced something similar. And if yes, any tips how to deal with this?

It's not stupid nor is it pathetic. You care greatly about your favorite character. That's not a problem. Don't let anybody tell you it is. A lot of people are super passionate about the characters that have helped shape the way they are. He feels like an extension of yourself in many ways, I guess. So, if somebody insults him, it almost feels like they're insulting a piece of you because he is a huge part of you. It stings, and it’s not silly to admit that. You don’t want him to hurt horribly when you know he’s capable of change and shaping his life into something he’s deserving of.

It comes with the territory of liking complicated, complex characters. You’ll get a lot of discord and disdain when you really just want to enjoy yourself. It’s a real shame, too, because Jihyun Kim is a character rich with opportunity and chance encounters. The more you learn about him, the more you realize he’s smart and unbelievably capable. So, never feel pathetic, silly, dumb, or stupid. Don’t think of calling yourself those things because you’re not that way. V would never want you to insult yourself. Not now, nor ever.

You inspire him to want to be better. You helped him remember what he wanted as a child... as a young man... and as an adult. That’s freedom to figure out the best way to smile and he has it thanks to you. No matter where he is or where he goes, your heart follows.

#ask #anon #mod kait

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casspurrjoybell-19 · 9 days

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Does it Matter? - Chapter 50 - Part 1

*Warning: Adult Content*

It took them a couple of hours to fully make their way up into the mountains and then they were there, they were home.

Bug wasn't sure where exactly the border lay out here but it didn't really matter.

This was the land he was born into and artificial borders set by humans didn't define that.

It was the rocks and the skeletal trees and the animals, the smell of the air and the breeze in his hair.

It was freedom.

"I missed this," Dara said as he took in their surroundings.

"I missed things I'd forgotten about entirely, if that makes any sense. The scraggly grass, the dirt. How dry everything is. How desolate the environment is until you look closer, pay more attention and you see a lizard, a bird, a nest of ants hard at work. I feel like long forgotten memories of my childhood, my family, might be stirred awake by the smallest thing."

"It hasn't been so long for me," Bug said.

"The only thing I'd forgotten was what it feels like to be free because I'd never appreciated that when I had it. You don't even realise that is a feeling until it's taken away from you."

"This is the right thing. For both of us."

"Yes but that doesn't mean it has to be easy. I know you loved him."

"Not loved. Love. My feelings haven't changed."

"Of course."

"You seem a little melancholy yourself."

"Hmm..."

Bug stroked his hand over Laurent's ears.

"I had hoped that somehow what that vision showed me would come to pass. That somehow Brayan and Maric as well, of course... would come with us. It didn't make sense but even so..."

"I understand. I wish it could have been that way too."

********

The ride back to the manor was long, miserable, and completely silent.

Maric was still humbled by the way his men had supported him in this.

He and Brayan had chosen them carefully and Maric had always believed them to be loyal but he couldn't have guessed that they would be willing to follow him this far.

That they would help him commit treason because he had fallen in love with a slave and not even look at him with judgement in their eyes but perhaps he didn't deserve all the credit for that.

Perhaps it was more than just loyalty.

The men had come to know Dara, had seen his intelligence and passion for themselves.

He doubted any one of them had still seen him as nothing more than a slave.

He hoped every one of them would now see every slave as more than that, as Maric had come to.

If they could have their perspective changed, perhaps others could as well.

Those were worries for another day, though.

Right now, all Maric wanted was to wallow in his misery.

As soon as they were back at the house, Maric retreated to his room and sent Brayan to fetch alcohol.

When he returned, Maric took one of the bottles of wine from him and locked the door behind them.

Brayan glanced at the locked door, accepted it and went and sat at the small table in the corner of the room with the other bottle of wine.

Maric sat down on the edge of the bed and took a deep drag of his wine.

"Do you think it will ever stop hurting?"

"I don't know."

Brayan took a shallow swallow from his bottle.

"Some things stay with you and always hurt a little bit but never nearly as much as when they're fresh. I don't think, anyway. I'll admit I'm still young and I've only experienced so many things. Love is not one of them. Nor is heartbreak."

"Not even a little bit, now, over Bug? I saw you kiss him."

Brayan took another gulp of his wine.

"I admit that I'll miss him. Beyond that, well... I hardly knew him."

"Perhaps you're lucky. I feel like Dara took my heart with him when he left. Like I'll never feel whole again."

"I'm sure that's not true."

"Maybe but living with this agony feels unimaginable. How am I supposed to get up tomorrow morning and continue on with my life? Maybe I won't feel this way forever but I'm sure things won't be much different tomorrow, or the next day..."

"It won't be easy but I'll be here."

"Yet even now, you're all the way over there."

Brayan considered his bottle, took another drink of wine and then set it aside on the table and approached Maric.

Maric drank deeply from his own bottle, set it on the nightstand, and then dragged Brayan down onto the bed by the front of his shirt.

Brayan put a hand on Maric's chest to halt him, unstrapped his sword from his waist and set it down next to the bed and then let Maric pull him the rest of the way down.

"You don't feel like him," Maric said as he began fumbling the buttons on Brayan's shirt open.

"Hmm?"

"He's smaller. Softer. Often timid but excited as well. Eager once he got past his fear."

Brayan lay back, his arms relaxed at his sides as he let Maric undress him.

"What do you want me to be?"

"Just yourself for once, Brayan. Not my Captain, not whatever it is you try to be. Just yourself, even if that means pushing me away right now."

The slightest smile curved Brayan's lips.

"A tall order. You assume I know what that is, myself."

"Please, I just... I need something real. Whatever that means."

"Okay," Brayan whispered, reaching out towards Maric.

"Okay."

Brayan seemed solely focussed on shedding them both of their shirts at first but then Maric dug his teeth into Brayan shoulder and Brayan took a sharp breath in and grabbed a handful of Maric's ass, grinding their hips together.

Maric pressed back against him, then winced at the feeling of buttons digging into his cock.

He quickly undid them and squirmed his way out of the remainder of his clothes while Brayan did the same.

Maric climbed on top of Brayan and pressed their hips together, his hand wrapping around both of their cocks.

Brayan watched him, cheeks flushed from arousal and alcohol, hands resting on Maric's hips.

They had never been together like this before.

Maric had fucked Brayan, of course but Brayan had never allowed for this level of intimacy.

Maric leant forward, burying his face between Brayan's shoulder and neck.

It didn't feel right to kiss him but he wanted to be close.

They moved together, faster, less controlled, Maric's hand keeping them aligned and providing needed pressure.

Maric came first, bucking down hard against Brayan.

He pushed himself up, slicked his hand with his own seed and stroked Brayan with renewed determination.

Brayan was a restrained man but his breaths were coming sharp and shallow now, his hips jerking in a desperate attempt to match the motion of Maric's hand until finally they pushed up one last time and he came.

Maric wiped his hand on the sheets and shut his eyes as he relaxed against Brayan's chest.

"Thank you."

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broodwolf221 · 2 months

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this was a practice piece from a while back, trying to figure out dimitra's voice, but even tho it ends kinda abruptly i actually like it? so. here yall go.

Leliana: I have heard that you are different than the other mages. Dimitra: You could say that. Leliana: Is it true, then? Dimitra: Is what true? [Being obstinate] Leliana: You know perfectly well what I am asking. I would suggest you take this seriously. Dimitra: [sigh] Yes, I was a templar. Well. I was in training to become one. Leliana: And then your magic manifested? Dimitra: Yes. Leliana: And then...? Dimitra: Then, I was taken to a Circle, where I stayed until the Conclave failed. Leliana: And your allegiance? Dimitra: [shaking her head] I have none for the templars who tossed me into the Circle. And I have little for my ‘fellow’ mages. Leliana: You resent being a mage, then? Dimitra: Wouldn’t you? Leliana: You must have an interesting perspective. To have experienced both sides... Dimitra: I guess. It’s not exactly something I would wish on anyone else, though. Leliana: I need to know if the Inquisition can trust you. Dimitra: I mean, I’m not about to turn you over to the templars, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m an apostate now, too. I wouldn’t even be able to get close enough to pass a message along. Leliana: It sounds like you’ve considered it. Dimitra: I- [long pause]. Okay. So, yes, I have. Not to report the Inquisition, but to reach out to some people I... used to know. When I was young, still in training. I want to know what became of them. But it’s obvious that any message would be intercepted, and I’m not willing to get them in trouble. Leliana: Hm. Dimitra: What? Going to string me up because I want to know what became of my friends? Leliana: Actually, I was going to say we might be able to find out for you. The Inquisition tries to keep tabs on templars anyway, and if you could provide us with names... Dimitra: Ah. So if I provide you with their names, your little minions can hunt them down, is that it? And you’ll pay me off by telling me what they were doing before your people caught up with them? Leliana: We’re not assassins- Dimitra: No?

#broodwrites #sorta. broodbanters. but im not gonna make that a real tag lmao #dimitra

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punchingup101 · 3 months

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Our Take on Feminism

By Isabel and Terrence

What does Feminism mean to you? How do you connect to it?

Isabel: To me, Feminism means the equality between all genders in regarding work, career, health access, and societal pressures. This means that equal opportunities and experiences are achievable by both those who identify as men, women, and other gender identities. But sometimes this can be complicated, for example just because different groups of people are allocated the same resources and opportunities does not mean that they are given fair or equal advantages over another group. This raises the question of equality vs equity. So I guess my answer would instead be that feminism, to me, means the equity of treatment for all genders solely based on gender identity. While I do believe feminism has some characteristics regarding equity between races and classes, which are also very important, that is not its main focus????

Terrence: Feminism to me means treating all people the same regardless of gender, recognizing that everyone deserves equal rights, opportunities, and respect. It's about dismantling societal norms and expectations that limit individuals based on their gender, and creating a world where everyone has the freedom to pursue their goals and aspirations without discrimination. True feminism seeks to create a society where diversity and inclusivity thrive, where individuals are valued for their abilities and character rather than being confined by traditional gender roles. With me growing up with women and embracing feminism from a young age, I believe in advocating for the rights and empowerment of all, fostering a world where equality knows no boundaries, and where each person can flourish regardless of their gender identity.

What is an example of feminism you have experienced in your life? How does feminism affect you?

Terrence: Growing up in a household with women exposed me to both the strength of women and the importance of feminism. With my dad taking long trips abroad for work, I grew up in the hands of my grandmother and mother. Similarly, I watched some of my cousins on my dad’s side grow up in households headed by single mothers. I first-hand experienced how, despite not having a man consistently physically present in our household, the women in my life were able to fill these roles in both me and my sisters’ lives. Growing up taught me that a woman is capable of doing everything that a man can. Given this, imagine my shock to find out the need for the feminist movement. How could you tell me men and women aren’t equal? My upbringing says otherwise…

Isabel: While I am a woman, I never knew about feminism until late high school. Looking back onto my girlhood, I do have experiences where I was treated differently solely on the fact that I was a girl. I was perceived as more sensitive, less qualified in school and sports, and expected to always be on my best behavior. Being Latina made a difference in these experiences as I grew up in majority non-Latino communities. It somehow allowed people to think they had the right to push me over, including my classmates and some immature adults. So yes, in my short life I have had uncalled for experiences with misogynists. Due to this, I make it a mission to help raise my brother and future children into people who are respectful and view women, as well as others, as equals.

What are some examples of traditional gender roles you have heard of or experienced growing up? How can we go against these?

Isabel: Whew, maaaaany. I’ve been told by my family members that I shouldn’t dress a certain way, “you look like a man in that clothes”, that I should style my hair a certain way, “long hair would make you look more like a girl”, that I should behave a certain way, “don’t be loud or talk back, act like a lady”, that I should engage in certain activities, “go clean and cook”. While I do enjoy girly outfits, having long hair, being quiet, cooking, cleaning, and being around babies, being told all of these things makes me want to do the opposite of what is expected. Maybe I just enjoy rebelling and creating chaos??? On the other hand, I have also heard family members say similar things to my guy cousins. “Where are the h*es?”, “when are you getting a house?”, “get to work, you’re lazy”, “Help me fix this”, or “don’t cry, be a man”.

Terrence: I will personally say that I’m lucky to have grown up in a family that values women for who they are and encourages freedom and equality. A few gender roles I see outside that I’ve seen my family work to correct in our household include cooking/cleaning, sports, and emotional expression. From a young age, my parents worked to teach me and my sister how to cook and clean, emphasizing how everyone ought to know how to care for themselves, despite them being traditionally feminine tasks. Similarly, my parents enrolled both me and my sister in sports, emphasizing how everyone ought to take care of their bodies, despite it being a traditionally masculine activity. Additionally, my parents encouraged both me and my sister to learn how to express and articulate ourselves emotionally, despite emotional displays being a traditionally feminine act.

How would you like to see the feminist movement grow?

Terrence: What I want to see is simple. I want to see the women of today and tomorrow treated equally. I want to see gender roles as less of a social construct and more of roles assigned to individuals based on their skills and interests. Isabel: Like Terrence, I also want to see the women of today and of the near future treated in a way that allows them to have the same opportunities and experiences as men without having to go out of their way to make it possible. I would also like to see the movement grow as a community that is more inclusive and less anti-men. I know not every feminist is anti-men, but there are many feminist that fit this trope and create a stereotype for other feminist.

Conclusion

Both Isabel & Terrence: To us, feminism is the idea and upholding of equality between all genders. Feminism, to us, means not having to worry about ourselves nor the women around us facing additional life challenges on the basis of factors outside of their control. Throughout both of our life experiences up to now, we relate to the idea that feminism has a room in both of our families as there are prominent gender roles associated with our cultures and familial beliefs. For example, men are generally regarded as strong, dominant leader figures charged with decision making where women, on the other hand, are generally regarded as subservient and caretakers/nurturers. Although biological factors play a role in the skills and traits acquired by each gender, it is the rigid societal barriers, which turn these differences in biological factors into blatant sexism.

#feminism #feministmovement #womensupportingwomen #mensupportingwomen #anti colonialism

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to3bi0 · 1 year

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I’ve been really trying to hold back from ranting on social media because I am way too old to be doing that, but it’s becoming harder and harder to just hold these things in. And I would love to bring these things up with my friends, but I’ve annoyed them with the same stuff for over a decade so I don’t want to bother them anymore… but anyway.

I’ve just been hurting a lot lately. I’m 27 years old and I turn 28 in a few months. I’ve never had a true romantic relationship. I guess you could say that I’ve had two boyfriends, but the first one was when I was 13 and I only said yes because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings since he asked me in front of a lot of people and the second one was when I was 21 and he… didn’t even ask me to be his girlfriend but just assumed I was his girlfriend?

I’m just getting to the point where I truly think I’m about to spend my life alone and without experiencing a relationship. I’ve never had a guy I’m interested in like me back.

I tried giving dating apps a try but I quite literally only met psychos on there. It was disheartening to experience that especially when you see people meeting their person on dating apps. I know dating apps are kind of mostly used for hooking up and stuff at this point, but I really had high hopes…

I don’t know. When I think about the past, my heart just breaks for myself because I never got to experience young love like a lot of teens do. I know that would’ve come with a lot of heartbreak if I did experience that, but I would’ve rather had that than being a grown ass adult wishing that someone would’ve given me a chance.

I want to fall in love so bad. It hurts. It physically hurts and I cry all the time over it. I just don’t understand what it is about me that men overlook. I don’t know what to do. I know I’m not pretty and I’m not special. But I don’t know if I can hold on to living life much longer if something doesn’t change. I don’t want to be alone forever.

I’m too old to never have gotten to experience the most basic thing that humans go through. I feel like I’m going crazy. I hate that this is my life. I feel so alone.

I feel even worse about the fact that I haven’t had sex in 10 years. Literally hasn’t even come close to happening since that one time when I was 17. But I don’t really feel like I’m someone who can do hookups which is why I haven’t other than my first time, but just the fact that it isn’t even something that’s come close to being a reality sucks.

I just feel so ugly and unloveable. And I hate complaining like this as a 27-year old. Why won’t my life change? Why is everything the exact same for me as it has been all my life? I don’t know what to do…

#personalkg

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

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21 Elaine💜 no specific response I'm looking for, just a conversation

I often find myself asking the question

"What is my center?" "Who am I?" If I were to meet myself in a different body, would I recognize them or I guess me?

I've never really been quite sure of who I was or how I fit into my own life. As a kid I believed so intensely in magic and friendship and love, I'd watch movies and dream about going on adventures or just being kind. I even use to talk to the oak trees at school because I thought they were lonely like I was. As I grew older though it kind of stopped, or became dormant. That wonder.

I got dragged into life like everyone eventually does: school, family, media trends. Wanting to fit in and at the very least be liked. I wasn't always as kind or understanding or even good as I'd hoped I was and while I do regret those times, the feeling's passed because I recognize I was literally an average middle schooler.

But now I guess I just feel lost. From a young age I became involved in something just horrible where I was manipulated on a sexual, emotional, and really just general level. I'd perform and consider this part of my life as normal albeit "bad", but at the time I equated that "bad" with the same feeling of getting scolded as a child.

"Yes mom I know it's not nice to kick the seat."

And eventually you'd end up kicking the seat again. I wasn't aware of just how dangerous it all was because there was no immediate to reaction of catastrophe when I first did it.

I was around 10 when it started, I'm now an adult and still reeling from it all. As I grew older I made horrible decisions and some that genuinely horrify me. On one hand I can say "I was manipulated and sexually abused for x amount of years and majority of bad things I did were under their influence and threat." But it'd not only be a lie, it'd be downright bullshit. I was smart and capable and I was kind, yet still I allowed myself to play into this world that I knew I had no future in. I made those bad decisions and I hurt those people.

When I tell friends and family that I don't always feel good, it's met with immediate defiance. My own therapist has reassured me that I'm kind and that I am not as bad as I make myself out to seem. But still a part of me can't believe it, I've even asked myself if my therapist is the right person to analyze me because what if they're wrong? That's how unbelievable it seems.

I don't know who I am or where I stand. I just know I want to be good. I want to be kind and trusted and I want to love and recieve it without guilt. But do I deserve to? Will my peace one day break? Will my past come back to my present and future? What will I do?

I still don't really believe I deserve the best that life can offer, I even gave up on my dream right when I had the means to achieve it because I genuinely don't believe I should succeed in a "amazing way."

I've lied, I've stolen and manipulated. I've sold myself and allowed others to abuse me. I've hurt and I've lashed out at. I've been naive and ignorant and so many more. And I'm just scared of not knowing what will happen other than, it will or already did.

I want no career, no fame, nothing of my name in anything. I just want peace, a decent home, and a real true fresh start, to be left alone for the rest of ever. I've even fantasized of erasing myself from the memories of everyone on earth or having a time machine to go back knowing what I do now. But I guess that's the wonder in me that still chooses to believe.

Hi Elaine,

I'm so sorry about what you've been going through.

It sounds like you're going through a really tough time right now, and it's completely understandable to feel lost and unsure of who you are after experiencing such traumatic events. It's important to remember that you are not defined by your past actions or experiences, and that you deserve to have a good life and be happy.

It's also important to recognize that healing and self-discovery is a process, and it may take time to find your center and figure out who you are. It's okay to take things one day at a time and focus on small steps towards healing and self-improvement. It's great that you know you want to be good, kind, and trusted. That's a great starting point for working on yourself and building a better future. Remember that it's never too late to make positive changes and improve your life.

It's understandable to feel scared about the future and what might happen, but it's important to try to focus on the present moment and what you can do to take care of yourself right now. You deserve to have peace and a fresh start, and it's possible to work towards that goal.

If you're struggling with feelings of guilt or self-doubt, it may be helpful to continue working with your therapist or seek out additional support from a mental health professional. They can help you work through these difficult emotions and provide guidance and support as you navigate your healing journey.

Remember, you are not alone, and it's okay to ask for help when you need it. You deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life, and with time and effort, you can work towards building the life you want.

I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #elaine #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw emotional abuse #tw SA #tw csa

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hollywoods-hearthrob · 1 year

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐢𝐦 𝐄𝐫𝐢𝐤𝐬𝐨𝐧

Article by Jenny Brokmeyer for TeensCast, Vol. 1, January 2023.

From being the most popular young actor of his age in America to being a single-father. Tim Erikson knows what he wants in life and he knows how to get it. But one thing doesn't seem to have solidified yet: a partnership. What are his thoughts about relationships? What was his most formative experience in a relationship? Does he believe in true love and love at first sight? We sat down with him for an interview and asked him the most exciting questions about love and his thoughts about it! Read more about it:

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗥: It's so good to have you here, Tim, hi!

𝗧𝗜𝗠: Hi, Josh, thank you for having me. I love your shirt, by the way. So great. ABBA has always been one of my favourite bands. So cool!

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗥: Thanks so much! It's fitting that you mention love, you are setting the tone for today. *both laugh* I brought a few on my own, but also a few questions from fans, and we are going to get into your teeth today!

𝗧𝗜𝗠: Or maybe into my bedroom. *laughs* Depends on how private the questions get, I guess! Bring it on, I'm ready.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗥: Alright! We start with a very straight-forward question: Why are you not currently in a relationship? Or has something changed? Is there something we don't know?

𝗧𝗜𝗠: Huff, I didn't expect such a difficult question. First of all: nothing has changed! I'm a happy single-guy in the prime of my life and I enjoy every minute of it. And I believe that it is very important for me to feel that way and experience this freedom of heart, because I have been in some tough situations in the past three years, always suffering under enormous pressure in my past relationships, so I enjoy the lightness and ease that I'm feeling now. It's grounding, really.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗥: So, you say that you are no stranger to relationships that didn't work out well and took a toll on you?

𝗧𝗜𝗠: Oh, yes. And with many situations where I haven't been myself, in terms of experiencing so much trouble that I never knew before and didn't know how to react and response to it so it became very messy and self-destructive and depressing. I mean, I leaned from the storms of the past, but a little bit less hurting would've been nice as well.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗥: What has been your most formative and drastic experience in one of your relationships?

𝗧𝗜𝗠: That's a good question. I would say what affected me the most is when things became for granted. The moment you realise that you lack gratitude in yourself or you sense the lack of it in your partner – that's when you can be very sure that things are going downhill from there. Love cannot be taken for granted. No gratitude means no respect. And where is no respect love can never bloom.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗥: So, do you believe in the concept of true love?

𝗧𝗜𝗠: Yes!

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗥: And how about love at first sight?

𝗧𝗜𝗠: No. Definitely no.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗥: We have actually done some research and found out, that there has been quite a few partners by your side! (Tim: Yeah.) From normal people to actor and music colleges, to business names and maybe shadows of the society – It seems like that you aren't selective of your partners. Would you say that's true?

𝗧𝗜𝗠: Yes, definitely. For me, it is not so important what profession someone is in. First and foremost, I want to know whether I harmonise with this person. Are we on the same wavelength, do we have similar interests, how do we behave towards each other in conflict situations? Those things.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗥: So the profession is not in the foreground. What is the first thing you look for when you meet a potential partner?

𝗧𝗜𝗠: Oh, that's easy: Humor. Because I am one of the goofiest persons on earth, if my partner is not able to laugh at my pranks and funny side – it's not going to happen.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗥: Does this mean that your relationships have been unhappy in the past? Of course you wouldn't be single now if it worked out.

𝗧𝗜𝗠: I wouldn't say that they were unhappy. I truly believe that just because you broke up doesn't mean the relationship wasn't beautiful. There are hundreds of reasons for breaking up that have nothing to do with the loss of love. You can grow apart or realise that you don't work as well together as a couple as you thought at the beginning. And there is no shame in saying: »Baby, we're done.« It's a very mature thing to say, I figured.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗥: Are you looking for a new love, currently?

𝗧𝗜𝗠: No pressure, no. I travel a lot for work and of course I have a son to look after. A partnership is not my top priority at the moment. But if it comes up – and I have a feeling that great luck is waiting for me! – then I won't say no.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗥: So, here is a question from Jason. Jasons asks: What advice would you give to people who are single but would like to have a partner?

𝗧𝗜𝗠: Take it easy. Really. Enjoy your single life! If you are at peace with yourself, if you have a great circle of friends and are happy all around, then love will knock on your door. I promise you that. I promise!

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗥: Lisa wants to know: what do you think is the key to a good relationship?

𝗧𝗜𝗠: Two things, actually. First of all, good communication, because communication is key. And second of all, good sex! *laughs*

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗪𝗘𝗥: Marlene wants to know if there is a way to get to know you. Get into contact with you. Actually, we received a few hundreds of those questions, so we bundled them together! *both laugh*

𝗧𝗜𝗠: I'm on tinder so, yeah! *laughs* Hit me up!

#celebrity: interviews #𝗳𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺 timophyerikson official #writingsfakevz #mywritings: authentic play

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straycatboogie · 1 year

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2023/01/03 English

BGM: Oasis - Whatever

During today's work, I was thinking about the relationship between me and autism. Once I strictly believed that my life would be just crap. I can't enjoy the things that many people enjoy (such as small talk or driving a car), and just going to die, that's all. Nothing is delightful... but I met nice people at the beginning of my 40s, and I started accepting and even tried to love myself through the activities of the group we built. That made me think that we must need a kind of "Homebase". Because the group I belong to, which I wrote above, is just an important Homebase and the place to be for me.

Once when I was still young, and just satisfied with reading the surface of modern philosophy, I believed that "we never need the place to be" and "everyone has to be a nomad or a person who has no roots". Because if we think that we need those kinds of roots, that will bind us strong... This idea (delusion?) comes from my past TBH I was bullied when I was a student, therefore I got doubtful about human relationships. People, who treated me and showed their smiles tenderly, try to keep a distance from me coldly, and started blaming me... I certainly experienced that kind of event many times.

That treatment makes me confused, so I even tried to become a trickster in my classmates to live better. I have to be an idiot, and throw my pride away completely... that would let me be a great friend to them. Or I even tried to become a hater. I tried to be so a lot to live a "public enemy". But now I can feel that I have a lot of true friends. I can trust them, and the existence of those friends or the connection keeps me calm. They are great blankets for me. They stop me going to reaching extreme ideas.

Now I think that the label "autism" shouldn't divide people (I'm afraid of this phenomenon... that some people look like using the label of "typical development" and describe many people as "they tend to have scattered minds and also they tend to read the lines too strictly, although it is just a funny joke). The person who invented the label "autism" wished that autistic people could live easier, and also the depth of human being's mind would come clearer I guess. Yes, that is just my idea. But I think that the label can be used more positively? I am living to face my autism and learn various things from my friends and the place I belong to (at least, I'm trying to do so).

#diary #english #autism

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nellynee · 3 years

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The makings of greatness, or why, as a ride or die Treasure Planet stan, I’m glad there’s no Treasure Plant 2

You ever see somethings that makes you unreasonably angry? Yes I understand exactly what I’m saying, and how that indicates that my emotions and opinions on this are exactly that. Opinions. There’s a good chance I have some objective truths mixed in, but that does not make my opinions based on those truths truth. If you disagree or have different tastes or opinions or interpretations, cool, let me know! maybe you’ll change my mind. That being said.

The plot synopsis for the Treasure Planet sequel makes me angry. Not like, actively so, just annoyed enough to be in a bad mood. And now you guys all have to be in one as well. Why?

Reason 1, and probably least important: Disney sequel syndrome.

Ok so Disney sequels aren’t inherently bad. I’ll stan the Aladdin sequels to my grave, who knew Cinderella could world build, obligatory Rescuers Down Under (the first one was better) blah blah blah.

But there is an inherit problem with sequels in general, and that usually has to do with cast and crew. An original piece of fiction has to grab the audience yes, but there’s also freedom in that. Media touches people in different way. The worldbuilding can mean more to some than others. Some are in it for the animation, or the character developments, or relationships. What connects with one person won’t connect with another. The problem with sequels is that different people who worked out the original material might and usually do not work on the new. And those new people are already working on that new material with their own personal lenses and experiences and interpretations coloring the old. The reason sequels (and remakes, and big budget presentations of other materials like books into movies) tend to bomb hard is because you are essentially being forced to accept someone’s fanfiction into the canon material. Usually, there’s a pretty strong correlation between more successful franchises/extension material, works staying true to the core material, original crew working on the material, and the enjoyment of the audience.

And sources say very few of the original crew remained. Some yes, but mostly voice cast. Even worse, TP2 was a DisneyToon production, not even a mainline feature. Now I’m not saying the new people weren’t talented, or passionate about the project, or were lacking in experience. It doesn’t really matter if any of those things are true or not. It’s the warping of their personal lenses I don’t trust. Fanfic I can disregard, meta I can disregard. This would have been canon.

And reading the Artbook makes is abundantly clear that the parts that touched me personally would have been missing. The very core of Treasure Planet for me was the relationship between Jim and Silver (and their exquisite animation budget). However you choose to interpret that relationship, you can not deny that Treasure Planet is a powerfully emotionally romantic movie. It’s quiet moments and emotional resonance shaped my views of intimacy with a sharp and fine touch. Silver and Jim’s bond is as undeniable and powerful as it is compelling and awe inspiring to witness unfold.

And a lot of that is owed not only to the voice acting of Joseph Gorden-Levitt (Jim) and Brian Murray (Silver), But to animators Glen Keane and John Ripa, who were the head animators of Silver and Jim respectively. Not only did Gorden-Levitt and Brian Murray deliver stunning performances, but made sure to work together and jointly play off each other in ways most voice actors don’t have the opportunity to do. And the Masters Keane and Ripa took an already stellar and carefully crafted vocal rapport and took it one step further. I highly recommend the Artbook as a good read, both Keane and Ripa talk about the journey of discovering who Jim and Silver were with delight, acting out entire scenes together using their own body language to build the characters together, using the same animation reals to animate, tag teaming in and out of the program rather than do it separately, becoming so attuned with their characters attitudes and mannerisms that you can tell they poured entire pieces of themselves into Jim and Silver.

I’m not saying the Sequel would have been inherently bad because it’s a sequel, or because a new crew worked on it, but I am saying I wouldn’t trust it with a ten foot pole.

Reason 2: Thanks I hate it (I’m saying it’s inherently bad because the plot is bad and I hate it)

I’m sorry for the length, but for you to really understand just how bad this is, I actually have to pick through every single line and tell you why it fails critically at some junctures and where it would be so simple to fix. For those of you who were unaware that there was a sequel in the works at some point, I’m pulling these quotes pretty much wholesale from the AnimateVeiws article Buried Treasure: The ill-fated voyage to Treasure Planet 2, specifically the interview with Jun Falkenstein who was set to direct the now canceled sequel. Spoiler warning, I guess?

So, from the begining

“The sequel was to pick up where the first film left off, with Jim Hawkins going to the Royal Interstellar Academy. At the Academy, he is a hotshot “natural,” but he doesn’t follow the rules very well.” - Strong start but then dropped the finish. I think the interstellar academy would be a very compelling starting point. I see no fault in it at least, it’s a good opportunity to world build. Clemence and Musket like to make a point that Jim was crafted to connect with the emotionally wounded and distant youth in a age of divorce, so showing what happens when that youth hikes up their britches and gets to work can extend on that theme aaaaaaand you dropped it. Dropped that strong start. Yes, Jim was more than a bit of a bite back rebel in the film, but that was a reactionary response to the bad place he started in. Jim was abandoned, and tied his self worth into that abandonment. His kickback against society was a reaction stemming from an inability to see his personal worth and any sort of future he could craft from it. He outgrew this, his very character development was about this in the film. His character arc was about realizing his inherent worth, embracing a sense of confidence and learning what he could do. Even disregarding that, bonus material outside of the film shows that Jim has a very strong sense of respect for Captain Amelia, her military career, and the hard work she put into it, and he’s there on her recommendation. Why would he act out in this? He is a natural yes, but the film shows he’s incredibly sharp and intelligent, if unlearned, and more than ready to learn given opportunity.

“Hence, he gets off to a shaky start – especially with his classmate Kate, who is very smart and has a type A personality. Kate’s father is Admiral Blake, the Commander of the Navy. Jim and Kate vie for top of the class but have very different skills.” - So building off this to fix the problem before. I guess the dynamic they are going for is something like “the kind of a jerk hotshit hotshot who’s got it all figured out and the straight laced rule fallowing stick in the ass rival”? I’m not apposed to to a rivalry, but lets tweak this, given how “hot shot natural jerk” isn’t really where Jim settles at the end of the film. Jim is a natural talent, who excels under tutelage, but more importantly, he has practical experience. While the time period spent on the RLS Legacy is not defined, they do sail to a deep and unexplored part of the galaxy, probably well outside of regular settlements, so no small distance, though Jim is young enough that a very long period of time would be noted in physical growth. Given comparisons to classic nautical sailing of the source time, months, perhaps up to a year? That’s a long time to spend, learning the rough and tumble basics, tying knots, experiencing food and water rations, extreme temperatures, playing with the rigging and mechanical aspects of the boat. Jim knows what it’s like to actually sail. Meanwhile, this is the Royal Academy, who probably takes in upper class second born children and pumps out military accolades for well learned mathematicians and strategists. Jim doesn’t fit in because he can visualize, he can think outside of the box, he can weld a damn engine to a hunk of shrapnel and ignite it freefalling against a metal hellscape and outrace a boat in a high adrenaline situation. He adapts where the other’s frantically look through their notes for the answer. Worse yet, he’s poor and not classically educated. Make it a class issue. In this aspect I do like Kate. Being the Daughter of the Commander of the Navy, she probably has a very technical and far more expansive understanding of navel ships, particularly the running of them. In this way Jim and Kate are perfect foils. Jim representing the poor, instinctually and practically knowledgeable crew, and Kate the upper-class, technically knowledgeable command, a dichotomy representing the haves and have nots in their skills, experiences, an class.

I don’t want to post a picture and break the post, but I do love Kate’s design. I do recommend looking up the article and checking it out. that being said, being a feline species, they messed up not spelling it Cate.

“Captain Amelia is dean of the Academy, which has a brand-new vessel: the Centurion.” - I… why, why is Amelia the dean? Additional material shows that Amelia broke ties with the military because she didn’t like their rule stickling ways and red tape. Why would she want a red tape position? She helped with a war and then bailed first opportunity to become a freelance captain so she could fallow her own rules. Even if you don’t know any of that additional material, you do know that she is a freelance captain. Why is she dean? what happened to the old one? Are they dead? Did DisneyToon kill them? Did Disneytoon kill the old dean?

“Designed by Doctor Doppler, the Centurion is the fastest ship in the galaxy.” - HE’S NOT THAT KIND OF DOCTOR!

“B.E.N. is its pilot”. - NO

In all seriousness all three of those statements show a serious problem, in that none of those characters are in fact those things. Amelia I’ve already explained. But Doppler was a debatably youngish bachelor with too much money who was fascinated by astronomy specifically and who suffered from ennui. And BEN was a navigational unit, so maybe it makes sense for him to be a pilot, but why is a robot who was functioning under a galaxy feared pirate for who knows how long given any kind of agency over a brand new incredibly important ship? These decisions were probably made to incorporate as much of the old cast as possible, to not exclude fan faves. But any decision that makes BEN a prominent part of the plot and thus gets more screen time is a BAD one.

“The pirate Ironbeard desires to commandeer the Centurion. This ruthless villain is relatively all iron – almost nothing of whom he originally was, inside and out, is left.” - On the one hand, I have a weird feeling that this would somehow violate the 30-70 rule. Buuuuut on the other hand, the Artbook does describe the decision making process of what and how was mechanical on Silver (my favorite tidbit was the wheel on his head representing his constant thinking and assessing) and states that that they in a way represent the pieces of humanity he gave up looking for Flint’s Trove. Extending that to a pirate who has given up everything could be a powerful thematic tool if used right (or intentionally)

“He leads a group of pirates to hijack the Centurion while Jim and Kate are aboard.” - ok, yeah, I’ll buy that. If they are butting heads constantly, I could see them sneaking off to the new piece of hardware to one up each other on who knows their stuff, or maybe bond over wanting to learn about the said new tech and being frustrated with restrictions.

“The Navy can’t catch the Centurion, due to the vessel’s speed and armor.”- sure

“Jim and Kate escape the Centurion. Jim decides he needs a pirate to help catch pirates. They find his old buddy Long John Silver in the Lagoon Nebula, where he is running a smuggling ring. “ - So what Jim just goes “I know just the pirate to help us” and then finds him? That journey of itself deserves it’s own movie, anything less is a disappointment. Alternative. Jim and Kate escape onto a particularly lawless planet. Jim has some tricks to keep them safe and fed, maybe he even excels in ways he’s been straight up stop gapped at the academy. Maybe his knowhow is appreciated by others who society also rejects. But Kate is a frustrating fish out of water, getting offended and worked up over things that are big deals to an average citizen but not criminals and pirates. But such reactions are putting them in danger and she needs to get perspective fast. It’s plausible maybe that Silver tracks them down through interesting rumors, but more than that, let it be fate. Neither having any idea the other is there till the second they see each other. Bonus points if Jim and Kate get in a bind and Silver is the leader of the harassers. Better yet lets add some thematic mirroring not only to the scene where Silver saved Jim from Scroop, but directly contrast it to the scene where Silver doubled back and down against the notion of caring for Jim when called out before the mutiny. *kisses finger* Touching and hilarious.

“ Silver agrees to help when he hears about the Centurion. “ - Silver agrees to help when he hears about the Centurion without Jim even having to ask. Storywise, lets make some kind of deal over how Jim, an upstanding enrollee of the academy, apparently is chummy with a pirate. Tension doesn’t just have to be external, and Kate is the daughter of the Commander of the Army. Maybe she’s recognized and this gets them in trouble. Maybe Kate has issues with her identity outside of her father’s career and need to learn a lesson about being outside of a rigid social structure?

“Jim and Kate receive a tracking signal from B.E.N. – who is currently hostage aboard the Centurion – and follow via Silver’s creaky vessel. They discover the Centurion docked near the Botany Bay Prison Asteroid. “ - While being the fastest ship yet is a good excuse for wanting it to get stolen, my suspension of disbelief breaks a little at any ship, let alone a creaky little pirate vessel, catching up to the fastest ship yet, or the tracking signal being the only way to track it to a guarded prison. Seeing as how I’ve written BEN out of this scenario lets fix it. After the events of the movie, the Royal Military swoops in after to confiscate the debris of Treasure Planet. For those in the know, canon lore states that the Planet was a giant computer, and it and the map were the byproducts of an ancient and advanced civilization. Studying the debris led to the Centurion, notable not for it’s speed, but for it’s stealth. It can cloak itself. Which is why no-one can find it. Meanwhile Silver lets it slip that he snagged the map from it’s pedestal as they escaped the planet as a souvenir. (handwave why the portal was still open with a “the whole thing was exploding, the computer froze). The map is able to track the remnants of said planet, aka the Centurion, meaning Silver has the only means of tracking the cloaked ship

“Ironbeard is using the Centurion to disable Botany Bay’s security systems. Jim, Kate and Silver sneak aboard the Centurion, where Silver reveals to Jim that he wants to take the Centurion for himself. He asks Jim to join him.“ YES. YES YES YES YES YES YES! Understanding that Jim’s decision to not go with Silver in the first movie is key here. He rejected Silver’s offer the first time because Silver had shown him he had intrinsic value, and Jim finally felt that the natural gifts he had were worth cultivating, that he did have the chance to explore who he could be on his own terms. Jim was comfortable being on his own, because he felt capable. Now, Jim and Silver bring out the best in each other, and the time apart has done them harm. Jim’s strings of social rejections are starting to fell like a glass ceiling he can’t overcome, and is finding more and more comfort in being a big fish in a pirates small pond, and the emotions of of being wanted that come with Silver is a powerful drug. But it’s a one way ticket away from any opportunities he could work towards, not to mention his barely repaired relationship with his mother. Meanwhile Silver has been slowly slipping back into the colder, more selfish self he was, a necessity for his lifestyle, and doesn’t want to loose his connection to Jim and what Jim brings out in him, but is still far enough gone to make the offer and try for the boat anyways, even if he knows it’s not what’s best. It’s an emotionally compelling decision. You want them to say yes, you know they shouldn’t

“Kate overhears this and is horrified, especially since the two have, of course, started falling for each other during the adventure.” - Hate. this I hate. Leaving shipping to they way side, what’s that “of course”? why do they have to fall for each other? Why the Disneytoon sequel love interest? I have a feeling her characterization would come at the cost of it. Why can’t they be rivals? why can’t they develop a mutual respect outside of attraction? Why can’t they both learn an individualized lesson about finding their own place in the world outside of social constraints as foils without macking? I hate this concept. Kate overhears, and is horrified, because Silver is a Pirate which is actually in universe get yourself hanged offense, and Jim is considering this, and they are going to steal a VERY IMPORTANT BOAT and and leave her stranded in a dagerous prison, and are making an objectively morally bad decision.

“Ironbeard discovers the intruders, charging into a fight in which Silver is injured. Meanwhile, the other pirates throw down ladders to the prison below, allowing swarms of elated prisoners to climb up into the ship. Silver, Jim, and Kate exit the Centurion amidst all the confusion. However, Ironbeard shoots down Silver’s ship. They plummet to the prison asteroid below, crash-landing” - cool. Drama. But for my purposes, lets tweak it so Silver isn’t injured yet. But I really want to emphasize that this attack does not interrupt before Jim can react to Silver’s offer. Even something as tentative as “I’m not sure” has consequences. None of this “misunderstanding” BS.

“ Kate is angry at Jim and storms off. “- again, make it clear that Jim showed a real chance of agreeing to steal the ship. if she’s angry before he had a chance to answer that’s contrivance for drama’s sake. Give her a reason to be mad

“ Jim is about to blow her off as well when Silver tells him to give her a chance. He reveals a part of his past through a flashback, when a young (non-cyborg) Silver screwed up a relationship with the love of his life – a decision which directly led to his life of piracy. “ - nope. nope nope nope . I’m gonna put a big old * here because this is reason number 3 why I hate this potential movie, and I will get to that believe me, but here’s me, putting a pin in it. That being said, have Silver selfishly try to double down on getting Jim to join him in a three way argument instead. This is the conflict of the film. Kate, who was learning to grow outside of the strict restrictions of her life and do her own work, make her own way, is being rejected. She is as morally repulsed as she is hurt that she wasn’t included, and hates herself for that hurt as well. Jim is torn between the freedom of what he could be after the academy paired with the strict social constructs around it, and the freedom of a life “full of himself and no ties to anyone” but running from the law and the two friends they represent. Silver is the aggressor here. He likes Kate, he does, but he loves Jim and only has one place in his heart, and has spent his life being selfish. There’s already a crew on board, and Iron beard is hooked into the Centurion. With having the only other means to navigate, they take down ironbeard, the rest will surely fall in line. This is paydirt. A fantastic ship, a bloodthirsty crew, and Jim.

“Silver has a very dangerous cargo with him that he had been trying to smuggle and sell for a fortune, which has the power of a neutron bomb. Jim, Kate and Silver reconcile and work together to fix Silver’s ship and prevent the Centurion, filled with the most evil pirates in the galaxy, from going on an insane robbing-and-killing spree. At the last second, Silver reluctantly gives up his “retirement fund” in order to destroy the Centurion, with Ironbeard and all the pirates on board.” - this entire section needs rewritten. That’s a mcguffin Silver put it away. I have retconned the mcguffin to be the old map, so that is now moot. Now to not blow up the ship. Afterall, Silver and Jim have both already overcome what Treasure Planet represented with it’s destruction. Rather, B plot

If we are that desperate to have past characters in, let’s have Amelia and Delbert back home. When the Centurion is captured, Amelia immediately volunteers to fallow, feeling responsible for Jim and secretly pining for some adventure. Delbert feels the same, and he to a bit of an adrenaline junkie after the events of the first movie, but they have the children to think about and only one can leave. Delbert is the one chosen to help by the navy officials searching for the Centurion. While Amelia bickers with the Admiral Blake over his pragmatic but emotionally distant decisions over the situation of his missing daughter, Delbert is an astronomer, and is blah blah blah science meta, fallow the flashing and bending lights around the cloaked ship to find it. As in Delbert is helpful. Amelia in a reflation to Admiral Blake, is torn between her family and commandeering her own ship to help. Blake is frustratingly headstrong in his decisions, and the script makes it seem like that emotional distance is disinterests, but reveals to the audience that it incorporates a great deal of suppression of his anxieties and worries over his daughter, and trust in her abilities, though he has issues expressing this pride to Kate herself. Amelia, Delbert and fam make what is probably a poor decision in commandeering a ship and leaving on their own to track the Centurion, the navy hot on their heels.

Back to A plot, the navy is approaching. Jim has to make a decision. He is the only one who knows how to unmask the ship using the old ones tech without training, as it’s based off the map. While Kate and Silver are distracting iron beard, he has to either steal the ship and sail off, or uncloak it for the navy. Iron beard is taken down, but not without Silver getting injured. Jim decides that Silver’s life is worth more than anything, and after agreeing with Kate that she’ll commandeer a doctor and wont let Silver die, uncloaks the ship. The Centurion is retaken in a blaze of naval glory that is the action climax. The pirates fight back up are over run. Maybe Kate gets taken hostage as the Admirals daughter, as an opportunity for a resolution with her arc as Blake’s distant daughter, though obviously said resolution comes at her showing her abilities in taking care of herself and the practical skills she has learned.

“Silver again parts from Jim and Kate, telling them to take care of each other. A few years later, Jim and Kate graduate with honors, while a proud Silver secretly watches from the shadows, smiling” - Boooooo. Kate and her dad make up, and she challenges him that she’s going to one day Captain the Centurion, with him understanding that she needs less a mentor and more an emotional support while she works her way up the ranks. She invites Jim to be her first mate, to which Jim accepts as a navigator, (a thing I’ve pointed out to be his real strength in another post). But to Silver, who has been “pardoned” for his part in retaking the Centurion, the movie hinting that he to would be on the eventual crew there I fixed it fic to come I s2g.

yeah there’s a lot of good there, but it’s so easy to fix the bad it’s frustrating. which brings me to

Reason 3: that little pin

Nope nope nope I’ll tell you why.

First of all, sources like the artbook say that Jim is so Important to Silver because he’s the first person Silver has ever let become important. he’s specifically stated to have no family, never married, no children. And that’s something he cultivated actively. His life of piracy, his metal limbs, his loneliness and moral failings were all gleefully accumulated for one reason and one reason only

Treasure Planet.

Treasure Planet was the great love of Silver’s life. It was a lifelong obsession. It destroyed his body, took his youth, his opportunities and nearly his life. He broke Jim’s heart over it.

And he let it go. For Jim.

And Jim understood this

This is the crux of treasure planet’s very themes. This is where Jim found self worth. Another person finally looked at him and said “you matter, you matter more than anything. I like being around you and I choose you first.” and it made Jim realize he’s someone worth choosing.

The treasure was EVERYTHING to Silver, and Silver let it go, for Jim.

That one line there, attributing the start of Silver’s fall to a girl? that actively retcons the entire theme of the previous movie. IT rewrite the emotional linchpin of Silver’s sacrifice of the gold. And actually fuck that. right into the ground. I do not accept. I do not pass go. I refuse. Fuck you non existent movie. That makes me mad. every single time. Hate I shall never let go.

#Disney #Treasure Planet #Jim Hawkins #long john silver #john silver #long post #meta #god I hate this non existent movie #This outline is the closest I've ever come to writing spitefic and its still up in the air #Treasure Planet is such a romantic movie and you come into my house and try to shred the emotional core and themes by recontextualizing?#fuck off #Fuck I love Treasure Planet #sequel synopsis can die in a fire tho

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