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alitaimagines · 4 years

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“do you think you could do an imagine where the reader is in 1-b and has an off and on again relationship with bakugou but one day she has enough of bakugou’s taunting about her class and she cuts it off with him and ends up with someone in 1-b? your choosing?”

awase yosetsu, ex! bakugou katsuki, x fem! reader

fandom: my hero academia

note: where my yosetsu whores at?? bc we stan him on this blog also i’m starting a new thing on here where i put a song recommendation for the imagine, i deadass stole the idea from @queenofallimagines so creds to Jackie.

song recommendations: “antes y después de ti - t3r elemento” “all i want is everything - victoria justice”

“Katsuki, just call it off with me, what’s the point of sitting here and arguing about the same bullshit we usually do?” you asked as you pulled your hair into a ponytail. “I’m tired of it, I really am.”

Katsuki had never thought the day would come where you would call off the friendship. It wasn’t really a friendship as supposed to being a friends with benefit situation. It never led to actual sex but you would sneak into his room at night and just cuddle and whenever you initiated a make out session, that was the farthest it went.

Class 1-A and 1-B respectively wondered how the hell the two of you even began a friendship. Being that Katsuki absolutely loathed 1-B and vice versa with Neito, when the two of you starting seeing each other and UA got word of it, it was confusion across the board.

“What? You’re upset that I was making fun of your class and that’s why you want to break this off?” You growled. “It never pissed you off before.”

You put your head in your hands as you growled even louder. “Katsuki, these are my classmates. My friends. Yeah, being friends with Neito isn’t exactly fun but he is a friend. I don’t appreciate you constantly poking fun at them. I never taunt 1-A so what gives you the right?”

“You have to admit, we’re just the better class.” You rolled your eyes as he continued to talk. “Just pointing out the facts, sweetheart. Regardless, this was never official so what is there to break off?”

Your eyes widened in surprise. “That’s great, that’s wonderful!” You said sarcastically as you stood up and grabbed your jacket. You opened Katsuki’s door to make sure that everyone on his floor heard your dramatic exit. “The next time you want someone to call at night, just ask one of the girls in your class.” You screamed as you slammed the door.

You couldn’t help but notice everyone open their doors silently. Awkward silence hit the air as you aggressively hit the elevator button. You had a bit of a walk to the 1-B dorms but you knew you needed the fresh air.

As you walked out of the dorms, you seen Izuku and Uraraka walking in. “Hey, ( your name )!” You gave them a nod before turning the corner.

Once you realized you were safe, you felt hot tears rolling down your face. What Katsuki said was true, technically speaking, the two of you never made it official but you couldn’t help but feel like Katsuki wasted months of your time.

The 1-B dorms were silent as you noticed Yousetsu was the only one in the main common area. He turned over to say hey but immediately noticed you wiping your face.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as he jumped over the couch. “Weren’t you just with those fuck faces from 1-A?” You nodded as you tried to calm your breathing down but it took you a few minutes before you could actually speak.

“Katsuki and I got into a fight and we basically broke up.” Yousetsu’s eyes widened in surprise. “It wasn’t even the break up that hurt, it was the fact that Katsuki had the nerve to say that we weren’t ever together.”

Yousetsu’s mood immediately changed. “He what?” Yousetsu’s scream made Kendo and Juzo walk out of their dorms. “Are you fucking kidding me? What a complete asshole.”

“Why are you yelling so late at night?” Kendo asked as she scratched her head tiredly. Yousetsu asked permission to explain why but as soon as he finished, Kendo and even Juzo were ready to walk over to the 1-A dorms and beat Katsuki’s ass right there.

She rubbed your back understandingly. “Listen, it’s getting late but tomorrow, we’ll make sure to kill Bakugou.” You nodded. Even if tomorrow was Saturday, everyone turned in early.

Juzo made you a cup of coffee before giving you a supportive smile and heading towards his dorm. Yousetsu had sat back down on the couch but his anger was still evident.

“It’s not even worth getting angry about.” You whispered as you drank your coffee. “Listen, it’s my dumbass fault for ever even believing we were together.”

Yousetsu whipped his head around. “Are you kidding? He basically played you! He managed to lead you on and you’re the one apologizing? Fuck off with that bullshit.”

You wanted to ask him what he meant but you didn’t have the energy. “Can we just watch T.V.? I’m over this and honestly, I just want peace for the rest of the night.” Yousetsu rolled his eyes but did what you asked.

For most of the night, laughter was what was heard through the common area. Whatever movie Yousetsu had put on made your sour mood change a bit. However, you didn’t realize that you fell asleep on Yousetsu and he did the same thing but leaning against the side of the couch.

First thing Saturday morning, you heard the giggles coming from Pony and Kendo. You rubbed your eyes tiredly as you noticed the blanket covering the both of you. Your face was warm and while you couldn’t admit to it out loud, Yousetsu was actually extremely comfortable to cuddle with.

“Shut up.” You muttered as your voice woke up Yousetsu. “Hey, we fell asleep on the couch last night.”

Yousetsu shrugged as he stood up and cracked most of his bones while stretching. “I know. You passed out on me and I didn’t feel the need to move you so I fell asleep on the couch to not disturb you.” Your eyes widened as Kendo’s and Pony’s giggles erupted even louder than before.

“I’m making coffee, anyone want some?” You asked as you tried to change the subject. Yousetsu and Kendo raised their hands. “Okay, as long as one of you go get breakfast for the three of us.”

“How about you get breakfast and I’ll make the coffee?” Kendo asked. You shrugged as you grabbed your sweater off the couch. “Three sugars and creamer, right?” You nodded as you heard Yousetsu to wait up for you.

You tapped your wrist to indicate that you were rushing to get to the cafeteria before anyone got to the good stuff first. Yousetsu sighed realizing that he probably left his jacket in his dorm.

“My hair is a mess.” You mumbled as tried to fix your hair on one of the windows. No matter which way you styled it, pieces of hair strayed here and there. “I should’ve at least grabbed headband before walking out.”

Yousetsu sighed as he took off his infamous white and blue headband off and handed it off to you. “Wear it if your hair is such a problem.” You gave him a shit eating grin as you slipped it on. “Thank you.” You sang in a childish tone.

The both of you walked inside the main building to get a few things to make for breakfast. While UA offered pre-made breakfast, 1-B usually liked to make their own breakfast when the class had time.

You shrugged your sweater on when you realized that the sweater you grabbed wasn’t yours. “Wait, I think this is yours.” You exclaimed as you immediately started taking it off. “Keep it on, I’m not cold.” You gave him another childish thank you but this time, you could’ve sworn that a faint redness played at his cheeks.

“What should we get?” Yousetsu pointed at the eggs as well as pre-made pancake batter. “I’m down for pancakes if you are.” You nodded as you grabbed the two things and a half gallon of milk.

Just as the two of you paid for the things, you noticed a few students from 1-A walking inside the building. One of them being Katsuki. You felt your eye twitch in anger and you could tell Yousetsu’s did as well.

“Lets go before I turn around and jump him.” You muttered as Yousetsu laughed. As the two of you were leaving the building, you noticed Katsuki looking at you. Maybe it was because you were damn near wearing everything that belong to Yousetsu but frankly, you didn’t care. “I’m starving and I’m actually caught up on my school work so I get to laze around all day.”

“Lucky bastard.”

As the weeks progressed, you were hanging around Yousetsu a lot more. Prior to the ‘breakup’ with Katsuki, he was hardly around you but now that you were free of the explosion boy, he was usually by your side. Not that you minded or anything.

One day after class, a few of you stayed behind to study for an exam. It was Kendo, Yousetsu, Juzo, Tetsutetsu, and yourself. The group of you had music blaring through the speaker that Yousetsu brought.

“So, are the two of you dating?” You heard Kendo ask Yousetsu. You choked on your spit as you gave Kendo a look. “I mean, it’s been a few weeks so we’ve all been wondering.”

Yousetsu on the other hand didn’t fret at the question. “Not yet.” You shoved your face into your notebook as the warm feeling came across your face again. Everyone started ‘oh-ing’ which made you throw a paper at Kendo for starting it. “Trust me, we will.”

You gave a look to Yousetsu this time but he did nothing except give you a wink before going back to study. Kendo gave you a smirk as she pretended to go back to her study.

“There’s the answer you’ve been wanting.” You read Kendo’s text a few minutes later. “Shut up.”

The studying went on a few more hours before everyone called it for a day and decided to get a late dinner. You slowly packed your things inside of your book bag as Yousetsu waited for you at the door.

“Well, lets get to dinner, I’m starving.” You mentioned as you chucked your book back on. “I hope they’re still serving stew.”

Just as you were about to walk away, Yousetsu managed to do a kabedon on you. “What’s up?” You asked nervously. Yousetsu gave you a smirk as he put his finger underneath your chin.

“Well, you heard what I said earlier so I was thinking, would you like to go out this weekend?” You gave Yousetsu a sheepish smile. “We can just get dinner or something. Nothing too serious.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

You whispered as you inched closer to Yousetsu’s face. He closed the gap between the two of you and you were now locking lips with 1-B’s bad boy. You had no idea you were even attracted to the ‘bad boy’ type but looking back on it, first Katsuki and now Yousetsu, you guessed it was your thing now.

Just as you went in for another kiss, your eyes were closed but Yousetsu’s stayed opened. Yousetsu did like you, no doubt but he also knew that Bakugou had detention and would catch the both of you in the act.

“Wait, I thought you like Momo?” You asked suddenly.

Yousetsu laughed. “1-A? Pft, no thank you, I’ll save myself the drama. Now give me a few more kisses before we get dinner.” You rolled your eyes as you leaned back in.

Bakugou was walking out of class with Kirishima but as he was about to walk away, he noticed you out of the corner of his eye. Bakugou’s anger rose immediately as Kirishima had to stop him from pouncing on Yousetsu.

“Dude, you broke up with her.” Kirishima whispered. “Let it go before you end up back in detention.”

Bakugou knew he had a point but what angered him the most was the fact that Yousetsu was purposely looking at him and even gave him the finger as you continued to kiss him. He wanted nothing more than to go over and kick Yousetsu’s ass but Bakugou himself was the sole reason as to why you moved on and he couldn’t act like he wasn’t.

“Come on.” Kirishima whispered.

Bakugou growled as he started to walk away. Turning around once more, you had stopped kissing him but this time, you were just hugging Yousetsu. The jealously flared inside his stomach but he knew it was best to just turn around and forget about it.

ALITA

#bnha #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia imagine #boku no hero academia x reader #boku no hero imagine #mha #mha imagine #mha x reader #my hero academia #my hero academia x reader #my hero academia imagine #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katsuki imagine #bakugou katsuki x reader #awase yousetsu #awase yousetsu imagine #awase yousetsu x reader

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tarot28 · 4 years

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MANIFESTATION, GOALS, INTENTIONS AND GRATITUDE AND MOREEEEEE

This is my guide to how I do my daily self work to bring some joy and happiness and better things closer to me. Everything I do listed below is written down in the same place - a generic leftover half used spiral notebook next to my bed.

I have a little anxiety and uncertainty and a little moop (a word for when you’ve got sad mood that’s kinda blah but it doesn’t have as quite of a severe connotation as depression does imo) when it comes thinking about the future. To get super real for a second here, it can be so so bleak sometime to look ahead and look at where I am now and where I could be like if only if only. Coming out of an unhealthy and toxic relationship and being on the mend from that also has me looking for ways of actively reviving my worth and my joy and I’m glad to report that what I’ve outline below has helped me personally and by sharing, I hope I can help others :) :)

Also just as a note: I use the Universe instead of God, Goddess, Spirit, etc bc that’s my preference. Mentally sub that for whatever works for you <3

Contents: sorry this is a hella long post but here’s the break down - Manifestation (what I used to do) - Goals (what I do/how I altered manifestation to make it work for me) - Intentions (goals are long term, but here’s the daily) - Gratitude (how it puts things into perspective) - Meditation (an on and off again relationship/the one that always gets away) - How the fuck do I fit all this into my daily routine ?

Manifestation: So when I first started this routine I used kinda generic manifestation and threw literally everything I wanted at the Universe like here this is what I want and it’s your problem now. That’s the idea I got from the very minimal reading I did on manifestation and law of attraction type shtuff. I reallllllly hesitate to call what I currently do manifestation but it’s like a cousin and is closer to setting goals. I’m not going to go into manifestation further but the “manifestation work” I do is like everything written here collectively.

Goals: This is the branching out I did for manifestation. It’s more accessible language too. A goal is something I want and it’s something attainable. Transitioning from manifestation to goals was kinda necessary to me because when I was doing manifestation was me throwing every tiny little want and need at the Universe. Goals was that but with filters and then elaboration. I went from asking for like 8 or 10 things that would change often to asking for 3 consistently.

Here’s a working example. One of my old “manifestation” items was “a sense of confidence in my body.” Let’s pull this apart a bit. This isn’t a bad thing to ask for at all; it’s definitely something that can happen. But like does the Universe really need to bestow that onto me or is that something I could do on my own. It’s too specific and exclusive as well. The perception of my own physical health comes from my personal relationship with myself, mentally and emotionally. My body confidence won’t change unless I work at how I talk to myself or unless I start to praise my own appearance.

I use a different, but related version of this older item currently in my goal statements that aims to “improve the relationship I have with myself for myself through positive self talk, self care, and recognizing the joy that comes through exploring my relationship with myself.” This is longer, but it’s bigger picture. It encompasses mental, physical, and emotional health. It also emphasizes my part in it, which was the biggest issue I had with what I was calling “manifestation.” I think it’s ok to ask for things, but personally asking and waiting passively for something to drop into your lap just on the merits of asking for it felt unrealistic. I think my biggest personal distinction between goals and manifestation was introducing accountability, thus empowering myself to make the changes in my life that I wanted to see.

Intentions In addition to writing my goal statements, I write my intentions. The goals are more specific to the season or a couple month to a year long period, whereas the intentions are a couple of ways I want my day to go. Again, this is kinda me empowering myself to take action and decide how my day will unfold. It’s just a couple of brief statements about things I want to happen, but less of a tangible to do list and more like what’s the vibe today boysss

So for example on a to do list I had this week: chem for mon, wed, fri, bio lecture notes from thursday, final revisions on whatever weekly essay it was lmao rip, and then a couple emails. This was a to do list from Monday and I have work and class and meetings and bathroom break and have to take care of the dogs and make food and eat the food and drink water and maybe squeeze in a workout from 9am to 3:30pm on top of the to do list, which is usually just classwork. My intention for the day was to “be productive enough to prepare for tomorrow.” This is a way to say do the bare minimum and feel better about it. Another intention I had was to “recognize and when I need a break and give myself the rest time I need to be productive.” Another way of justifying slacking off occaisionally but giving it an elevated purpose through the wording. It also makes me feel like shameful about not getting everything I planned to do in one day because I carried out my intentions.

Gratitude! This is my absolute favorite part of my routine! It brings everything home for me and I can really draw attention to all the mundane disguised positivity in my life that might go unnoticed or underappreciated otherwise. This one is so simple. I start by writing “I’m grateful:” and then just list whatever comes to mind easily.

If it’s hard at first, make sure you’re not overthinking. When I introduced this into my routine I would almost talk myself out of the stupid things, but I think that’s where a lot of my small, daily joy comes from. Yesterday was cold and rainy and that’s my favorite weather so I wrote “rainy and cold” on my list and I think I put sweatpants on their too. Don’t overthink it and don’t force it and just start doing it.

Here’s some research for the benefits if you don’t want to listen to me, please listen to the science, more of the science and a little more. If these links don’t work- sorry but they’re random articles I found from google scholar after searching gratitude journaling. SO much evidence out there

Meditation This is my long lost love. I feel like I never have the time and I’m fighting to put her back into my routine. It makes me feel great and settles me into my body. More posts to come if when I get back at it. If anyone has techniques or guided mediation recommendations omg let me know. I use a couple podcasts, one is purely guided mediations because they’re like 5 or 10 mins each and I’m short on time a lot. The other is called nothing much happens and it’s just like bedtime stories about mundane routines and not strict mediation, but I love them.

My daily routine and how I make this work for me and don’t give up: My first rule is that if I’m not in the mood, I simply do NOT. Like days where shit sucks is different from days where you feel like you’re breaking down and it physically hurts to think about the future or your goals because everything is so hard. I get that and I treat myself like an adult and know that not doing it one day won’t be an issue as long as I make sure I do it the next day.

In the morning, I think about my schedule. What is today and what is the best way to approach what I have going on? What is the best way to direct my energy? This is intention time :) And then this is where I’m trying to add meditation back in but I really suck at morning time management and I’m trying to use the time to work out before my day gets started. We’ll see lol I’ll prob add it in at the end of my day to help me get to sleep feeling a little more settled and comfy in my own body and mind.

I try to keep my intentions in mind during the day. Sometimes it happens, sometimes not. It’s ok because I did them and I thought about it at least one time during the day for it’s own special, dedicated amount of time.

After I’m completely done for the day, I go what the fuck am I doing on this planet, how can I improve my existence, what do I see happening for myself? Under my intentions, I write my big three goalssss. Something for my own healthy, something for my career and academics, and something to kinda talk about my meant to be, forever home of person that I’m trying to attract. Self-career-social kinda triangle of goals.

Under my goals, I zoom in on everything that went great. The last thing I write down for the day is gratitude so that even if I get a little stressed about not following my intentions too well or not making a lot of progress towards my big picture goals, I can look at today and go I had a great cup of hot chocolate and binged AHS though and I don’t regret it because it made me so happy that I wrote it down.

The end thanks for reading this incredibly long post. I love these long posts where I can just go on about what I do :) I really hope this helps someone who doesn’t vibe with what they’re seeing in their skimming over of law of attraction and manifestation stuff. Fuck that and do you. Sending so much love to y’all <3 L :)

#tarot28 #manifestation #manifesting #manifestation work #Law of Attraction #LOA #intentions #goals #personal development #self love #self care #do it #witchblr #self work #gratitude #meditation

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necropsittacus · 5 years

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for the ask thing, all the ones you have an interesting answer for

this is extremely long because I Love Oversharing so under a cut. thanks britta!!!

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?tea, black; i've tried putting extra spices in it but i think i'm not doing it right bc it gets grainy and weird? i don't drink coffee anymore for "hey maybe we should stop consuming this thing that makes us feel like we're actually about to die" reasons but when i did it was with a fuckton of cream5. are you self-conscious of your smile?yeah; less so since i actually brush my teeth semi routinely now, so they're less awful, but i still have a slight overbite and a residual habit of covering my mouth with my hand if i open it very much 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?either weird vent fanfiction that i never end up finishing, drawing in my notebooks, or i try to make the overly dramatic/pretentious thoughts that pop into my head into poetry (which i never end up finishing, go figure).9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?used to, but it's like. even besides insecurity about my voice and the fear that i'll be Too Loud and bother someone. the same internal barrier that makes it hard to speak out loud, especially if i'm not directly prompted to, applies to singing10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?usually side, and in the fetal position. occasionally back though13: what’s something that made you smile today?saw a chickadee!14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?god i don't know that's like. that's the fucking dream, for the future, but i hadn't gotten as far as daydreaming about *decoration* or anything of that sort. at the moment i tend towards covering things in movie posters and little trinkets i accumulate and toys and that sort of thing. i know i couldn't do sharing a room with someone else long term, it'd get stressy, so at least two bedrooms (or a bedroom and a pull out couch in the living room, that'd work), a little kitchen. no minimalism, but i might like having primary responsibility for Housecleaning sorts of things for my loved ones, or keeping things reasonably neat. just. something that feels like a proper home. safe. 16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?i am extremely boring and usually just do fettuccine alfredo. that said, cheese ravioli and pesto products are also very good. i just don't like super complicated foods with ingredients i don't recognize, or red sauce. red sauce is Sensory Bad. 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?i mean i've been dyeing mine black since i was like 17 to the point that people think that's the natural color and i just let them, and honestly i'm very happy with thatred looked good on me, and i definitely like the way a lot of those super bright unnatural purples, blues, etc look on other people but it doesn't feel like "yes this is Correct this is what i'm Supposed to Look Like, this is the color it was *supposed* to be all along" in the same way, it just feels like i'm dyeing it a weird color for fun18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up."mola mola isn't a slur, right?"20: what’s your favorite eye color?idk about "favorite" but dark brown eyes are really pretty22: are you a morning person?i tend to be more productive and (assuming at least like five or six hours of sleep) more cheerful in the morning, but getting out of bed is a horrible struggle bc executive dysfunction and anxiety23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?tbh i HATE having those days, i don't like being super busy Either but i get really like bored/restless/I Am Going to Rip My Skin Off to Have Something to Do Please Let Me Out of the House if i genuinely don't have anything scheduled for a day? so i usually *make* obligations for myself, writing projects or something like that, if i don't have anything externally enforced. and go to the library or a cafe or something bc i feel more alive if i don't stay in my room all day24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?yeah26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?i mean i've only had them for like a year bc it turns out that wearing the same pair of shoes almost every day wears through them pretty fast, who would have thought? but black combat boots28: sunrise or sunset?sunset31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.they hurt but i p much only wear boots so i have to wear them all the time. also my feet are weird and fucked up and i don’t especially like looking at them. and then i forget to take them off to sleep so i just. wear them all the time except to shower. i like weird socks with like animal pictures or whatever but then i feel bad abt wearing them bc i wear out socks really fast for unclear reasons34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?ooh i had a lot!! most of them were sea mammals, a couple sharks i think? i had a couple rabbits when i was Really small but i don't remember them as clearlyi can't remember most of their names but they had whole like imagined stories and relationships to each other and shit, i definitely remember there was one stuffed orca that was almost as big as kindergartener me35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?oh absolutely!! i write mostly in pencil for ease of corrections and so it doesn't bleed through the paper, but i accumulate pens/weird ink colors/etc37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?see i *prefer* having my room be clean but it literally never is 39: what color do you wear the most?black. combination of "trying to be low effort goth" and that idk how to coordinate colors so all my outfits are either all black or like. black + one other color + possibly grey, bc i figure there's no way that could end up clashing horribly. also i only HAVE black pants anyway so like. 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?mm i know accident by christa wolf hit me pretty hard in some emotions, and that was recent44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?i'm not sure that's an emotion i have tbhwhen i'm happy there's this kind of anxious edge to it, not necessarily in a bad way, but "at peace" is. an odd concept for me. the closest i get is this sort of quiet not-exactly-negative melancholy if i'm not behind on anything and it's raining and everything's just sort of soft yknow? 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?marinara sauce. i hate that shit. i'll eat it on pizza or if i literally have to in order to get a meal and i can't physically handle not having one, but that's about it. also tomatoes more generally! i like ketchup but that's it. why do yall insist on putting tomatoes on everything all the time i Don't Like Them50: what’s an odd thing you collect?i keep all the toys i get out of kinder eggs and stuff like that. also i just have hyperempathy about inanimate objects and animals (and basically no empathy for humans most of the time, weirdly enough) and it's frequently difficult for me to throw things away because "well i'll be hurting it!" so uh. i just accumulate objects. i still have my old toothbrush somewhere55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?i straight up tried to kill myself to win an argument with mom once in high school. and i'm not talking like a mini fakeout attempt that wasn't supposed/expected to work, either, i did regret it but i was straight up prepared to die to get her to believe me 56: what are some things you find endearing in people?rambling/talking about your interests, emotional openness. if you like. send me things that reminded you of me/you thought i'd like, or initiate physical contact so i don't have to feel so weird/guilty about it, that's a very fast path to my affections. just being weird as shit. lots of little things, really. depends on the person a lot, though; either "person is Soft and Good and i feel like it's my responsibility to protect them" or "person is Kind of Scary/Edgy and i will attach myself to them and remain loyal no matter what and they appreciate it" are pretty consistent things, but those are a long way from the Only paths to my affection58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?awfully bold of you to assume i have a friend group and not just a disparate group of friends who mostly don't talk to each other. i AM semi consistently the weird vodka uncle though. 59: what’s your favorite myth?LOTS. that's not quite a fair question i can't pick one favoritethe volsunga saga does come to mind, though60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?i do!!! i thought i didn't because turns out the things they make you read in high school english are often Not Terribly Emotionally Resonant for me, funnily enough, but when i started reading russian poetry in college, and more mental illness focused stuff tbh, it was like Oh Shit This Is Really Cool. i really like vladimir mayakovsky!61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?when i was really small i gave my dad a care bears coloring book for his birthday because for some reason i didn't process that other people didn't have exactly the same interests as me??62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?i drink either unsweetened green tea or monster energy drinks in the morning. depends how much of a disaster i'm being on that particular day. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?all my music is online or haphazardly downloaded to my phone so there's. not really any way to organize that if i wanted to tbh. i make a lot of character or ship playlists that i'd put more effort into organizing if i ever got around to showing them to other people, but Also anything that isn't too embarrassing to risk anyone else seeing just gets put in one folder. i DO organize my books, though. i usually *forget* to put them back where they're supposed to go, but there is a proper order (everything from one author or franchise together, stuff like star wars or tolkien is together and in in-universe chronological order, stuff like that), and i get upset if people fuck with it67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?nice. it's very calming, and also bright sunlight hurts my eyes fjgshtf68: what’s winter like where you live?not very different from fall most of the time. climate change is making it more midwest-y, which i'm not sure if i'm happy about or not (snow nice, but summer is also progressing in that direction, which is unfortunate). somewhere between the 30's and 50's (fahrenheit), mostly pretty grey, it rains sometimes. it's not cold enough that i need to have a real coat, usually sweater+leather jacket is enough. my hands always hurt, though70: have you ever used a ouija board?yeah i used to do it with my brother sometimes. nothing ever happened tho76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?i need to write my paper proposal for nuclear lit and also draw some stuff for people that i've been putting off because my brain hates me and Catching Up On Everything I Should Have Been Doing a While Ago Is Scary77: pink or yellow lemonade?both? both is good78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?i have no real feelings on minions one way or the other but i have no interest in them and don't like seeing them all the time79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?someone i used to know was going to move away from their abusers and get a job and such, partly or mostly For Me, so we could run away and start things over together after i graduated. and then things blew up but. it was very sweet and sometimes i get emotional about the concept of that still 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?three white, one blue. i didn't choose it, it came with the dorm room. my bedroom in my parents house has really dark blue walls, which i DID choose bc i wanted a dark color and my brother already had red ones and i wanted to distinguish myself from him. 82: are/were you good in school?mmm more or less, yes i'm terrible at certain kinds of projects and at getting stuff done without pretty much devastating my physical ability to function pushing myself at the last minute. that said, i'm very good at tests, good at papers, good at language learning and bullshit analysis. it's just like. PLEASE don't give me "fun creative projects!!!" or start with the "oh well tests aren't a good way of measuring learning, here's some other stuff that will be easier for you!" thing. i *like* tests. tests make sense and it's just sit down for an hour and you're done. it's the other stuff that's hard also i'm so used to my mother's ridiculous standards that it's like. yes i am good at school, in that my professors keep telling me i am Very Smart and things of that nature. but also i am terrible at taking care of myself while i have school because me being good at school is to some extent reliant on my brain's false insistence that Everybody Else Has Perfect Grades and Is Killing Themselves Slowly To Be The Best, so clearly we need to do that too! and any sacrifice is worth it! so eventually i just collapse84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?yeah definitely, at some point. there's other things that are more pressing to spend my limited amount of non-parent-controlled money on right now, but i know i want like. some manner of thing referencing my chronic turin turambar (self dx) status, probably his grave inscription or a sword (or both eventually!). probably also a bird of some sort85: do you read comics? what are your faves?see i'll happily read comics if there's a franchise i'm already interested in that has comics as part of it, but i'm not like a Comics Fan per se. i tend to find them kind of overwhelming because there's just So Much content and i don't know where to start and i usually get distracted before i finish. i did really enjoy mtmte and the tdc creation myths comics89: are you close to your parents?nope! i send my dad animal pictures, and vice versa, and that's about the extent of it when i'm not staying with them for breaks. mom's...Difficult(TM) and dad i get along with fine but i don't really know how to text him 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?drowns. i want to be able to actually taste it.93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?my hair is too short to really have Different Styles. i just keep it combed pretty neatly bc that's the only thing i know how to do afngjdsgf94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?my friend emma @autisticsansamaybe people i care less about had them more recently but tbh if we aren't friends i don't know when your birthday is without being told96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?i have literally never updated this laptop because it does not have space for an update. this isn't even my fault. i have deleted *every single thing on it that is not important to make it actually run* in order to have enough space to update, and it STILL doesn't. 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?a few months ago i would have said 5 years into the past, because i Desperately missed aspects of how my life was at that part of high school--mostly having people i loved and who loved me, who wanted a future with me, and the certainty of that, that i wouldn't just be On My Own Forever post educational system--but now? future. high school fucking *sucked* in a lot of ways, and also i was a terrible person and i don't especially want to go back to that version of me. future is like...scary because yeah there is a decent possibility i'll just be pretty much totally alone and having to work a job i hate to keep up, but like. there is also a possibility that i'll have the things i wanted all along in a more stable context, yknow?

#suicide ment /#alcohol ment /#ask memes #long post #very long post ajhnfgsf im so sorry

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spitestudies · 6 years

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hello everyone!! as a high school junior taking 4 aps, 3 other classes, preparing for the act, trying to do college research, stage managing a musical, and trying not to lose my mind, here are some fun n handy tips for not Dying when ur schedule is hell!

if you found this post helpful maybe give it a like/reblog and check out my other posts here!

01 | PLANNING AND PREPARING

so much of getting and staying organized has to do with organizing your time in advance. there are a million ways to do this--google calendar, a bullet journal, a planner, some post-it notes. my system involves three parts: a google calendar, a planner, and an online to-do list app.

google calendar: this is mostly for events. i can see when i have rehearsals, classes, doctor’s appointments, etc. this helps me see how much available time i have and budgeting it properly.

planner: i take this with me to school, and i use it to right down when i have assignments and tests. i use the ban.do planner, but these are a bit pricey, and really anything will do. just somewhere to put down tasks so you can keep track of them

getplan.co: this app is, honest to god, the only reason i am still alive and breathing. it plugs into your google calendar and then allows you to create and schedule tasks around events. @studycxlture has an amazing post about plan here that i def recommend checking out!

general tips about planning:

plan out the events of your month at least two days before it starts

set aside a night (i like sunday evenings) to set up a system for the upcoming week and go over what you have planned so you don’t forget anything

you are NOT gonna remember that assignment that teacher told you about. write it down.

you do not need a fancy system. it’s okay to try lots of different things until you find what works

never spend more time planning out tasks than completing them. unless you have that much free time, don’t dedicate two hours to making a lovely weekly bullet journal spread.

color codes!!! are a life saver. i have one with a color for each class (red for english, orange for spanish, yellow for history, green for science, blue for math, etc) as well as some for my extracurriculars (pink for the musical, teal for model un, etc).

always have ur planner open when ur working, so that you can make sure u r actually completing all the tasks u said u were gonna complete

02 | STAYING ORGANIZED

oh my god oh my god oh my god staying on top of your work is SO important when you’re busy. being able to find your worksheets and keep track of your homework and your million responsibilities is essential to being successful. to stay organized, i have an expandable file folder with tabs for each class. because i take most of my notes in notebooks instead of binders, this is a good way to keep all of my handouts, worksheets, and syllabi centralized.

also, make sure you have a way to keep your online materials organized. create a folder for each school year, and within that folder, create more folders for each class. from there, it’s up to you about how you’ll organize files. you can create even MORE folders (yeet) for things like homework, notes, study guides, etc, or folders for each unit you study. the possibilities are endless!!!! isn’t technology exciting

here r some pieces of advice for staying organized:

have a series of folders/binder/expandable file folder to hold your worksheets. or one for each class, though i prefer to keep all my papers in one a) to save money and b) to save space.

label your notebooks/binders so that you know which ones to bring home with you

never just shove something into your backpack. never. i’m gonna manifest into ur classroom and FIGHT you if u do that. it’s not good, it’ll end up getting lost or crushed under the weight of all ur textbooks, and you’ll end up panicking when u can’t find it

have ur planner on u at all times

keep a good filing system of ur stuff at home. u don’t need to carry around every single bio assignment you’ve gotten back, but by the time ur final rolls around ur gonna want 2 b able to look at all the materials you’ve gotten during the semester

that being said, throw stuff away when the year is over! i, for one, know i’m never gonna think about calculus after this class is done, so i will be recycling all of my papers (save the earth) and moving tf on

keep a recycling bin in your room! even if it’s just a paper bag, it’ll make throwing paper in the trash way less tempting (save the earth)

u don’t need a ton of pens. i’m being a giant hypocrite saying this but you really don’t need all that stuff. if you want it and you can manage it, great, but if it’s just another thing to keep track of, leave ur staedtlers and ur mujis and ur fineliners and ur calligraphy pens at home, and just take the essentials with u to school

03 | MAKING THE MOST OF UR TIME

in order to succeed, it’s v important to make every second count. this doesn’t mean studying 48 hours straight (pls don’t), but try not to waste time. whether this means you spend fifteen minutes napping, doing some reading for english, or having a quick snack, make sure u are being productive and healthy! i, for one, sometimes have 1-2 hour breaks between school and rehearsal, and i like to use these to walk to the grocery store by my school and get some food and then study in the deli.

some ideas for being productive!

carry a clipboard around everywhere. this way, u don’t need to spend as much time transitioning in and out of tasks, u can just put ur work onto the clipboard, and put it in ur backpack at the end of a break, and then the next chance u have to work on it, just take it back out. easy peasy

work during commutes! nOT if ur the one driving the car though that’s VERY dangerous and distracted driving = bad. but if ur on the bus, or ur mom is driving u to school, that might be a good time to go over some notes you took last night, or some reading you need to catch up on. nothing too insane, please don’t do ur chem labs on the public bus but. u know.

read over the notes you took that day on the ride home. this will help reinforce the information in ur brain, and it’s not super difficult. i go over my apush notes during the 40 minute drive home and sometimes talk about them w my mom, which gives me a much better grasp of the material

don’t waste time on social media. either delete instagram altogether, or log off/mute notifications before u start work. same with tumblr. don’t start scrolling obsessively if u have three tests to study for.

power naps!!!! napping for about 10-20 minutes, maybe on the way home or to practice/rehearsal/whatever u gotta do, can help u feel refreshed! anything longer will make u more tired tho, so be sure to get up when u say ur gonna get up.

study smarter: when ur going over material, u don’t need to handwrite 60 beautiful flashcards. use quizlet instead. don’t revise if it’s not gonna help u. prioritize which assignments r gonna be most impactful over the little ones u can easily make up

take good breaks!! breaks r VERY important and should be utilized properly. here r some good suggestions for things to do:

throw in a load of laundry

empty the dishwasher

stretch/do some jumping jacks

drink some water!

go for a walk

talk to a family member

get a snack!

read some fun novels n such

scream?

!! in case of emergency !! the following tips should only be employed when ur short on time. don’t use these just bc u can, this is just when it’s about getting close enough to grasping material, not actually grasping it

do every other math problem assigned, and either star the ones u didn’t do, or get the answers from the back of the book. this way, u get some practice but u also save time

sparknotes ur reading beforehand. this way, u can recognize what’s going on. it’s not v good for developing ur reading comprehension, but assignments will go by quicker

NEVER google translate ur language homework, but u can use word reference for helping u find the right word and proper conjugations

flagpole it: didn’t study enough for a test? are u guessing on like 10 of the questions? if it’s multiple choice, but the same answer for all the ones u have no clue about, unless that answer choice seems highly unlikely. then pick a different one. this way, ur statistically more likely to get some of the ones you guessed correct.

when u have an online assignment due at midnight and it’s 11:53 and u haven’t started, find another assignment you’ve already completed that has a similar document name. for example, “scarlet letter chapters 9-11″ instead of ur actual assignment “scarlet letter chapters 12-14″. submit the other one, and then when u finish the other assignment (either that night or the next morning) email ur teacher and apologize, say u accidentally submitted the wrong document

if ur parents will let u (if ur in high school) or u can let urself (if ur in uni), it’s okay to skip a day to catch up. just make sure u actually work, get the notes u missed, and talk to ur teachers/professors abt the material u missed.

04 | STAYING HEALTHY

ur health comes before any assignment, test, or extracurricular. i know lots of ppl r probably telling u that and it doesn’t seem like they mean it, but i mean it. no exam is worth sacrificing ur mental, physical, or emotional health for. yeet! so here r some things to keep in mind

eat! ur fuckin! breakfast! whether it’s a smoothie or oatmeal or a cup of orange juice or an apple or an elaborate french toast dish, u need some food in ur stomach so that u have the energy to start ur day

remember to take ur meds if u need to!

drink water! drink! water! have a glass when u wake up, and then at least one with every meal, and one before u go to bed. hydration is v important. if u can, invest in a water bottle and take it with u to class.

pack a lunch! and if ur staying later after school, pack snacks! tech week for me is always hell because i get to school at 7:30 am and don’t usually leave until 11 that night. it’s v important to stay nourished and hydrated so that u don’t get dizzy or faint.

remember! that u are beautiful, and ur body is beautiful, and it deserves 2 b loved! especially by u.

get 6 hours of sleep. aim for 8, but six at the very least. if ur done with ur work, go to bed early! don’t just stay up for no reason.

shower everyday, or every other day at least. give yourself those 15 minutes as a break from work or school or anything else that’s keeping you busy

write down ur thoughts in a journal?

talk to a friend if ur feeling sad, or just feeling things very intensely. share ur joy with other people! vent ur sadness and anger so u aren’t carrying it around everywhere.

make some time to have fun. see a movie w ur friends or ur bf/gf/datefriend or ur family over the weekend. go to a museum. hang out at the mall. sleepover at someone’s house. taking breaks is healthy.

make an effort to have dinner with ur family if u can (also if u like ur family. i know some ppl have bad relationships w them so skip this step if that’s u). it can be nice to reconnect w everyone, even when ur stressed or they’re annoying u, it can be nice.

remember that it’s okay to be imperfect! u don’t need to be good at a lot of things. i got a b for the first time last semester, i just got a c on an apush test, i failed my driver’s test again yesterday. but i also aced my math quiz, i celebrated six months of knowing my best friend, i walked my dog, i helped put a production together. it’s okay to have rough days and bad days and bleh days, as long as you keep pushing through them and working for the days to get better.

i love u!!! stay hydrated and nourished and get enough sleep. put on some lotion if u have it available. brush ur hair. if u ever wanna ask a question, my ask box is always open! <3

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reactingtosomething · 7 years

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Reacting to Crazy, Stupid, Love

Old Fashioneds for Charity: A Cocktail Philanthropy

The Setup: Kris actually gets into the long version of the Setup below, but this is also the first time all four of us have Reacted to Something together in real time! So it’s super long and a little clunkier than usual, but hopefully also fun. We’ll probably try to do it again at some point.

As always, post-chat annotations are in italics, and you can click on the first appearances of our names to see summaries of the TV shows, movies, and other things that influence our points of view.

LIZ: soo.. Crazy, Stupid, Love.. am I RIGHT?!

KRIS: I’m worried I’m going to disappoint all of you

(Are we all here?)

MARCHAE: Yes!!

MIRI: You laughed out loud multiple times while we watched

KRIS: Yes

MIRI: I don’t think you’ll disappoint us

LIZ: Kris, don’t be worried. We will just unfriend you on social media first and

THEN cut off all contact

IF THAT HAPPENS

MIRI: hahahahaha

LIZ: ❤️

MIRI: So, Kris--thoguhts?

MARCHAE: LOL

MIRI: Or thoughts

whichever you feel like

LIZ: I forgot so much.. Kris go first

MARCHAE: I want them ALLLL

LIZ: General opinion/ reaction then nitty gritty!?

KRIS: I guess I’d like to start with the [name of my writing teacher] story first

Just to explain how we got here

MIRI: Ok, please do

MARCHAE: storytime with kris

KRIS: We’re just jumping right into like late second-act spoilers for Crazy Stupid Love, dear readers, all eight of you

MIRI: omg ❤️

KRIS: So [Writing Teacher] wanted to give us an example of subtext

And writing dialogue that doesn’t suck

So she gave us a scene, minus action description and names, and it’s a woman asking a man for advice on fixing a water heater

And she asks, what do you think this scene is about?

And we know it’s a trick question, but for whatever reason even the people who’ve seen the movie haven’t picked up on it yet

So the answers are like “she doesn’t really want to ask for his help”

LIZ: Sneaky. Love it

KRIS: And then [Writing Teacher] turns on the TV and there’s the title screen for Crazy Stupid Love, and some people are like ohhhh

And [Writing Teacher] doesn’t say anything and she goes to the scene, and obviously it’s not even remotely about a water heater

And more people are like OHHHHH yeah

And I was like, damn

That’s good

And I guess I was over at Miri’s, or maybe we met somewhere for something, and I was telling this story

MIRI: “Damn. That’s good. Maybe I should listen to Miri when she tells me to watch things”

KRIS: And it comes up that I haven’t seen the movie

And Miri is like

MARCHAE: (Which is still unbelievable)

KRIS:

MIRI: You’ve used that gif about me more than once

KRIS: Yes I have

It’s a good gif!

I like Elizabeth Jennings!

MIRI: And I am still complimented and also concerned

It is an excellent gif

KRIS: So this was October, I think

MIRI: I like her too but I’m not sure I should want to be her!

October sounds right

LIZ: I dont think his advice was even legit to be honest so don’t read it or watch it if you are struggling with a water heater issue!

Liz is looking out for us all, dear readers

READ THE MANUAL

KRIS: And every once in awhile it would come up and Miri sort of led this slow-but-steady charge of We’re Going to Make Kris Watch Crazy Stupid Love

and Kelly signed onto this in some capacity

Kelly is Miri’s roommate and another friend from our grad program

And obviously Marchae and Lemon

Reminder: Lemon = Liz

So here we are

MIRI: We’re humanitarians like that

Here we are!

KRIS: that was a looooot of preamble

sorry

MARCHAE: (And we had to get you on board with Hamilton too... kris I see a pattern)

MIRI: I like the preamble. Now, tell us your thoughts!

KRIS: I liked it?

See this is why I’m worried about disappointing you

MIRI: Are you not sure about that?

Or do you just not have more expansive thoughts?

KRIS: No, I’m sure

LIZ: you did like it or you liked it ?

KRIS: I’m sure there are more thoughts, but I’ll need some prompting, I guess

MARCHAE: I'm sitting on the edge of my seat her!!!

Here*

MIRI: Ok, we can prompt

LIZ: Who cares what we think! I took some notes because I forget a lot of things and a lot of my notes were sassy.. so what?

KRIS: I think the only thing I’d seen Gosling in before this was The Nice Guys

MARCHAE: Ok can you talk about the Ryan Gossling character

LIZ: MASCULINITY

MIRI: WHAT

LIZ: GOD

MIRI: ???

LIZ: go*

KRIS: and probably a couple of episodes of Young Hercules

LIZ: hahaha

MIRI: WHAAAT?

LIZ: this is a topic for another day

MIRI: True

KRIS: I never saw The Notebook

MARCHAE: What!?!

LIZ: LASDKF;SLAKGJASL;KFJASLKJF

MARCHAE: What is happening!?!?!

WHAT IS HAPPENING

LIZ: You need to want ALL OF IT EVERY DAY (the notebook that is)

KRIS: I can see there’s going to be a Make Kris Not a Philistine syllabus at some point

MIRI: YES

But also you have tons for us to watch too

KRIS: I guess where I was going with this is that I realized watching CSL that Gosling has pretty strong Brad Pitt vibes

MIRI: Focusing on this movie!

RYAN GOSLINGS IS SO HOT in this. And I love that he’s hyper masculine without being so in all ways.

KRIS: Does that seem right? Or was this not representative?

LIZ: Talk about... representation in this movie... I had a lot of questions about masculinity rewatching

MARCHAE: Ew

So did I liz

LIZ: and then about how women are portrayed obviously always.. but what are your gut reaction thoughts

MIRI: Like, he’s got some slightly effeminate affectations that go with his kind of dandy vibe

MARCHAE: And Miri to be clear the ew was for you

MIRI: Um ouch??

KRIS: Hang on I’m just pulling up IMDB to get character names

LIZ: ew what? he’s very hot

MIRI: You don’t think he’s hot?

LIZ: did you not see his body

MIRI: He’s hot!!

It’s like he’s photoshopped!

LIZ: HAHAHA exactly

MARCHAE: And now you liz. No i think he generally looks dehydrated and like he needs to bathe

LIZ: ........

MARCHAE: The photoshopped line is funny but no

LIZ: He has a tan?

MARCHAE: Go on Kris

KRIS: Marchae’s descriptions of unattractiveness are always so specific

Miri: Marchae once told me she thinks the Rock looks like a toe and I have NEVER forgiven her for it.

MARCHAE: I am also tanned

MIRI: Ohh, you’ve had this complaint about him before that he needs to wash

K: Marchae was not rooting for La La Land during the Oscars

KRIS: “dehydrated”

MIRI: Ok, let’s talk about toxic masculinity and this film’s deconstruction of it Because I’m into it

KRIS: OK

MARCHAE: Yeah the bags under/around his eyes -dehydration

LIZ: lol at marchae’s tan.. and nobody’s here to say YOU ARENT HOTT! ❤️ 😉

MIRI: very true! 🔥

MARCHAE: Thanks gang

MIRI: I think the film is pretty clear on the fact that Jacob’s perspective on women for most of the film is not super healthy or ok

(and also he could use some therapy)

MARCHAE: Ok so I did [rewatch] and I think because I knew we were talking pay more attention to how okay women are with RGs character

MIRI: And we’re all tired of the whole The Right Woman SAVED Him narrative, but I do like that he has actual growth

I would argue that he’s a womanizer, but not a misogynist

KRIS: (I did wish both Emily and Hannah had bigger stories in this)

MIRI: (or at least not to the extent of most)

Kris, I second that

MARCHAE: Same here

MIRI: And not just because they are both such talented actors

The movie is mostly about the men’s growth

MARCHAE: Miri I feel like he might teeter on that line. He almost feels he has a right to these women he seeks out

MIRI: But the women are allowed to be characters rather than set pieces more than most

MARCHAE: Kind of like that one that's the one I want and I will get her

KRIS: Yeah, and of course it’s not inherently objectionable that this is a story about two dudes

MIRI: except the women they sleep with, mostly

Very true! I think we could use more stories about men having emotional growth and healthy friendships

MARCHAE: No not at all (three if you track the little boys story)

YES!!!

MIRI: The whole “You don’t ask them, you tell them that they want to come home with you” thing is not great. It’s pretty bad. But it’s also not the language that they ever use when actually talking to women--it’s always “wanna get out of here” type stuff

So I think that Jacob is not as much of a misogynist as he thinks he is!

I may be being too forgiving

But I love him

LIZ: I think he feels less entitled to the women and more just confident in his “game” bc consent is obviously important to him.. he doesn’t have to talk anyone into anything, which SHOULD BE THE WAY IT ALWAYS IS but unfortunately is not in real life and in how “wooing” is portrayed in film and what nots

MIRI: Very true! He’s super forward, but will take no for an answer without being creepy

KRIS: I feel like on the page Jacob would probably come off as more of a dick

Gosling underplays it in a way, he’s very not Frat Dude

MARCHAE: I agree Kris!

MIRI: When he first hits on Hannah he keeps talking as she leaves, but he never gets up or tries to stop her (Again, low bar)

Yes!!

The performance really makes it

LIZ: That character could’ve easily ruined the movie

the shopping with Cal part is especially lovely

MIRI: Love that!

KRIS: I think that’s because Hannah specifically was never really his objective; at that point she’s interchangeable with any other woman he might want to take home

LIZ: I am a sucker for physical humor apparently (throwing his shoes and slapping him(

MARCHAE: I don't generally love him and Hannah/Nanna notes the ridiculous nature of the game he plays

MIRI: I also adore the section where they talk and have the infomercial stuff--one of my favorite film sequences

MARCHAE: So then I'm on board once the movie itself recognizes ok this guy is a doofus

MIRI: Do we believe that he actually remembered hitting on her that one time when she kisses him? Or is he just going with it?

KRIS: That’s an interesting question

I think the intent is that he remembers her

LIZ: Gosling also never said like “all I want is to have the sexy times with as many women as possible”.. he just is kind of good at it.. I think if he ever said that was all he cared about or aspired to be... he’d be an asshat of the highest caliber

MIRI: I think the movie always knows that he’s a doofus, but doesn’t show its cards early

KRIS: I’m not sure if it’s the answer that makes the most sense or is the most interesting

MIRI: I’ve never questioned it before

LIZ: I think he remembered her bc she turned him down

and we don’t see anyone else do that

KRIS: I buy that

MIRI: Nice

MARCHAE: *YAS LIZ*

MIRI: Do we believe his redemption? Or change of heart or whatever?

LIZ: But then I felt like.. masculinity is kind of very set in stone and in stages of life in this movie

I know it is more complex

but does society kind of not ask it to be?

MIRI: Say more

What stages do you see?

LIZ: The kid with the crush ... the womanizer sexy young guy... the sad dad/ divorcee with his walking shoes and ill fitting clothes

MIRI: And are you saying the movie reinforces those ideas about particular types of masculinity or no?

LIZ: Cal is able to kind of morph into Goslings characters TYPE and I think at the end he is his own person and a NEW version of a man, but the ENTIRE movie kind of puts men in boxes.. which is FINE BC WOMEN ARE USED TO THAT TOO

KRIS: Is this kind of a Dan Fogelman thing? I’m not super familiar with his corpus

LIZ: and the douche boyfriend of hannah is kind of the alternative to the sexy young guy.. the safe boring young guy like SHOULD I MARRY KOKOUM.. STEADY AS THE BEATING DRUM? that shit

I am asking.. because I don’t know!

MIRI: Hmmm

KRIS: I think these are definitely all types/boxes but I don’t know if I’d map them into linear stages

MIRI: Maybe it’s more a question of him using and playing with types than anything else

MARCHAE: Liz I notes that too though not as eloquently

KRIS: I got more of a “you can be this, or you can be that” vibe

MARCHAE: Noted*

LIZ: There is something to be said of the separated married couple trying to maybe make it work.. and the way Cal turns into a better human who cares about himself and then his life more too bc of that.. idk

yeah

MIRI: And then ultimately you can be you with an element of this and that if you want

LIZ: Like the wife is flawed, but open and trying from the first scenes where he rolls out of the car, which I appreciate

MIRI: While Cal’s journey gets way more screen time, I like the building blocks of Emily’s a lot

“Can women have midlife crises??” Yes, they totally can

LIZ: Yeah I agree, I’d have loved to see more Emily and Hannah

MIRI: And more of Liza Lapira, the friend!

KRIS: Also shout out to Asian Best Friend

MIRI: I love her and she never gets big enough parts!

LIZ: Right!?

MIRI: Kris, were weirdly in sync here and I love it

KRIS: There are like two not-white people in this movie and the other one is credited as “Hip Hairdresser”, so

MIRI: The phone call when Hannah is studying and ABF sees Jacob at the bar is hilarious

LIZ: She deserved to have something nice happen to her.. she gets creeped on by a fat old dude and gets to drool at Gosling! Not fair!

wow at hip hairdresser

MIRI: It is an extremely white movie

Like, down to the extras at the school and office

MARCHAE: Par for the course though for our friend Hollywood

KRIS: Unless you count Emma Stone

Sorry

Too easy

I’ll show myself out

MIRI: HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHA

LIZ: Yeah there is no reason why the babysitter and her family or the school staff or the people at the bar needed to be all white.. very gross

MIRI: Omg

It’s very 10 years ago, too

MARCHAE: *KRIS*

KRIS: Oh let’s see if we can finish this masculinity stuff but do remind me to come back to the bar set

as a set

MIRI: We will try

Kris, as our man do you have anything to say about masculinity?

LIZ: like the kid, the dad, the player, the douche.. then the kind of controlled by his wife married angry ish guy (the friend w the mays bag) those are the people to think of as a refresher of type of dudes

KRIS: I don’t know that I have any fresh insights you all haven’t covered

LIZ: insert(eggplant emoji)

well do you think that it has anything right or anything wrong?

MIRI: 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆

LIZ: like the adolescent kid is actually given a good amount of depth

MIRI: There you go, Lemon

LIZ: thank you I didnt know if we could use those hhahahahha

MIRI: We can

MARCHAE: Can I say one thing

LIZ: well

🍆

MARCHAE: I did not love the end bit with the babysitter giving the kid the nude pics

MIRI: THANK YOU

MARCHAE: It was odd to me and not a thing I think a girl would do

MIRI: I find that pretty grody

KRIS: Yeah I didn’t love that whole story honestly

MARCHAE: Like here is my gift to you young flower

KRIS: And I understand that part of this is just my general aversion to humans who aren’t old enough to drink

MARCHAE: And No

MIRI: And technically distribution of child pornography since she’s 17

KRIS

K: As previously established, I am generally not a person who is won over by cuteness of the non-furry-quadruped variety. I’m the one who doesn’t say anything when one of the others sends baby pictures in our group text.

KRIS: But yeah, even the persistent text messages

MARCHAE: LOL

Yes and he kind of quasi stalks her

It's. Not. Cute

MIRI: Yeah, “I’m not going to stop sending messages that make her uncomfortable” is not great

KRIS: I guess I’m not sure when this came out in relation to our sort of broader cultural understanding of social media’s role in rape culture and harassment more broadly

LIZ: Technology moves so fast

KRIS: But that was all on my mind

MIRI: I think it was before that general realization

They still had slide out keyboard phones

MARCHAE: But not before the general realization of stalking

And harassment

LIZ: I think it is harrassment

MARCHAE: And the exchange of kid picks

KRIS: Yeah

MARCHAE: No adult human said

Young sir stop it's not cute

It was all

LIZ: I think things hit the fan sexting wise after this though

MARCHAE: Go get her!

KRIS: BOYS WILL BE BOYS

LIZ: BOYS WILL BE RAPISTS HAHAHAHAH SO CUTE

jk but actually

Her crush on Cal was disturbing

like.. no.

MIRI: He is her dad’s friend!!!

LIZ: I was a hott mess in all the ways as a teen, but no!

MARCHAE: I guess I was lost on why it was supposed to be cute

MIRI: As creepy and not ok as the kid story is, I do like some od it

LIZ: The little girl.. the youngest.. Lets write her sequel.. she needs the most therapy

MARCHAE: I thought all of this the first time

MIRI: Like it was definitely written by a guy not really getting the reality of rape cultre

culture

MARCHAE: RIGHT

MIRI: but I do like that his idea of love is neither purely romantic or solely sexual. He sees her as his soul mate and it’s nice to see more than one aspect of attraction represented in one

MARCHAE: Or the reality of LIFE

KRIS: I feel like a lot of this movie works better than it should because the performances aren’t too broad

Like everyone’s actually pretty easy to empathize with

MARCHAE: I think you're right though

If even one of them has been not redeemable it would have not worked

LIZ: I think soul mates are kind of bullshit.. which isn��t unromantic of me, but more like... we see that this idea can force things that are not right and its not good for young people to fixate on someone like that!

KRIS: Even Jessica (babysitter) isn’t presented as hysterical or like, hormone-addled

MIRI: True

Oh I think soul mates are bullshit too

MARCHAE: The kids are all pretty self aware

I guess that gives it the pass

KRIS: So as uncomfortable as the story is when you take a step back, from pretty early on -- I’m thinking the car scene when Cal drops Jessica off -- she’s kind of restrained and thoughtful

LIZ: the only semi hysterical female is the teacher

but i think she is kind of fucked with in ways that bring that out

MIRI: My computer is being weird so sorry if my texts come in at a weird delay

KRIS: So I guess I liked that Jessica is afforded the same amount of humanity as anyone else, if that makes sense

LIZ: right

KRIS: Marisa Tomei!

LIZ: she definitely is

MIRI: I just like that the kid who’s jerking off to a girl also likes her as more than a sex object

Yes

LIZ: Ugh that is so gross

MIRI: Marisa Tomei is so funny

What's gross?

LIZ: yes she’s great

MIRI: Him jerking off with her IN THE HOUSE?

LIZ: Just thinking about having kids of either sex that age

I can’t pick which one would be worse

KRIS: ha

MARCHAE: But he also isn't apologetic to the fact that he's made her uncomfortable about it and that's what bugs me

LIZ: he does apologize at one point

MIRI: I genuinely am bothered by that too

LIZ: but it kind of takes his world being crushed

which is odd

KRIS: Well, I don’t like it as a story but I buy it from a 13-year-old

MIRI: All of the men need to Grow Emotionally in this movie

LIZ: I guess

yep

MARCHAE: But doesn't he say I'd do it again and she laughs

MIRI: And the women mostly need to get outside their comfort zone, I guess?

K: I don’t think so, actually. I’d say it’s more something like, they need to be willing to say what they want/need from relationships, and/or don’t expect your partner to be a mind-reader.

MIRI: I like that reading. I also think they need to be willing to examine what they want for themselves--Jessica does’t end up with a partner but she seems to be happy and to have realized that pursuing a crush that inappropriate is probably not the way to go.

LIZ: I have specific questions at some point about certain parts of the movie

MIRI: Go for it!

LIZ: Hannah being seen as “chaste” by refusing Gosling’s advances kind of give her that angel dynamic, versus the slut thing that all of the women who readily go with him automatically might get, so then she DESERVES to hear about this parents and see his massage chair and be his one love... and I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THAT

also.. I did note.. “WHY IS HIS MASSAGE CHAIR IN THE GARAGE? PEOPLE ARE STARVING” which was in the moment but I stand by it

MIRI: I never thought of it that way. I assume she’s been sleeping with Human Valium

LIZ: I have more but THOUGHTS?

KRIS: I think it’s totally in character for the chair to be abandoned in the garage

But to your larger point, yes

MIRI: Yes Jacob needs to stop trying to buy happiness and start volunteering and giving to charity and funding cool research or something

I think he’d find it much more rewarding

KRIS: I definitely think there’s a (really familiar) undercurrent of assuming most of the women Jacob sleeps with are empty airheads

MIRI: Definitely

LIZ: “Old Fashionds for Charity” a cocktail philanthropy

MIRI: “Am I boring you? I’m totally boring you!”

Well there’s the post title

Well done, Lemon

LIZ: Spelled wrong

lol

KRIS: We can spell it right in the heading

MIRI: There goes our integrity

LIZ: hahahhaa

MARCHAE: I didn't think they were airheads but maybe... as the kids would say

Thirsty

MIRI: I think the intent is that Hannah is the one that challenges him, not that she’s virginal

But it’s still kind of shitty

LIZ: I don’t want to feel seem like Im hating on Hannah btw

MIRI: No, you don’t!

KRIS: Yeah, I think it’s like “Hannah is a Woman of Substance”

LIZ: Her awkward, wet, weirdness where she says what she’s thinking is amazing and I really identify with it.

MIRI: I am a little concerned that she went from being ready for Valium to propose to in a pretty heavy relationship with Jacob over the course of a rainstorm

Yes! Great moment of weirdness

When she’s asking about the logistics of his moves it’s amazing

LIZ: I felt like she thought he might and shed be flattered, but I think she also might have had a come to jesus moment if he HAD proposed and left also

MIRI: Fair

KRIS: I got the sense there was a little bit of a time lapse presumed after they get together

LIZ: bc its at a cheese cake factory type of place (not that nice even) at a mall

MIRI: There’s at least a couple weeks

But still

LIZ: oh for sure

MIRI: The El Torito Grill!

KRIS: I mean even if it wasn’t a super intense relationship I buy her not breaking up with him because Dad Says So

LIZ: oh yeah, she’s an adult... that is insane

MIRI: Definitely!

KRIS: Oh, okay, so now that we’re here, I should say that the Twist worked well enough for me to say “Whaaaat” out loud

MIRI: But also she’s totally emotionally invested

He did!!!

LIZ: because you thought nana was a grandma?

MIRI: It was great!

KRIS: Up until that point, I was sort of like okay, this is a charming movie but I don’t feel a need to rewatch it ever

LIZ: also they are so into their kids.. why does she not come up! it is kind of CONVENIENT

KRIS: But now I would maybe want to rewatch it to see how they plant that

MIRI: They plant it well!

MARCHAE: "Charming"

KRIS: I did have a moment earlier in the movie of like “huh, they cast two redheads”

LIZ: ha

MIRI: When Cal talks about his kids it’s always “my youngest” (rather than my girl) and “I have kids--plural!”

MARCHAE: That's true and he also just calls Hannah Nanna right?

MIRI: right

KRIS: Yeah, and they do sort of plant the banana thing in the not-proposal scene, right?

Or maybe the earlier restaurant scene?

MARCHAE: Yeah!

KRIS: So at no point was I like “buddy, that’s a stretch”

MIRI: Hannah Banana!

LIZ: thats good

KRIS: I would just be curious to spot all the pieces being set up

LIZ: they definitely are

MIRI: It’s a good rewatch

MARCHAE: I like it a lot actually

LIZ: also.. there are cheesy parts.. which seem to be on the nose, but the movie is very self aware

like the rain starts and he says like “so cliche” or something

MIRI: Yes!

LIZ: but his kid is like “dad you did change, you just got new clothes” and I did think BARF OKAY NO

MIRI: And Emily actually mentions how things are “in the movies” when talking about midlife crises

Like, a cliche lampshading of a cliche is still cliche

KRIS: That did jump out at me

MARCHAE: It knew these things

KRIS: I don’t know if it bothered me but I don’t think I would’ve missed it either

LIZ: there was also a part about half way through where I realized why I like tv more most of the time.. like even if I had never seen it.. I knew what would happen and I am so sick of that fake roller coaster/ formulaic bs

MARCHAE: Does that make the movie smart

KRIS: I think it makes it self-satisfied

LIZ: No, but it is cute

MIRI: I think it’s both self-satisfied and cute

KRIS: sure

MIRI: Like, it’s a little annoying but I’ll allow it because I like the rest so much

MARCHAE: Fair

MIRI: Also this is not at all connected to what we’re talking about but “I don’t want your slutty money” is one of the best moments ever

LIZ: oh yeah

hahaha

MARCHAE: And Emily's response was the best

LIZ: because it isn’t overdone or too dramatic.. it is kind of exactly how someone would think they are really telling someone off, but it is more like a passing strange comment built up in their brain

what about kevin

they say his name 3084028408 times and I have forgotten it

MIRI: David Lindhagen

MARCHAE: I was like was his name Kevin?buut I'm there now

KRIS: I’d watched a couple episodes of I Love Dick shortly before this so I was like Oh hey, Kevin Bacon! but I don’t have deep thoughts

MARCHAE: I think the story could have easily been told without ever actually having seen him

KRIS: I liked that he wasn’t a cartoon villain

MIRI: But then we don’t get the fight scene!!!

Which is amazing!

Yes! I think he’s a nice seeming guy who is a little shitty for going after a married woman

LIZ: yeah the fight scene is great

MIRI: He’s not a massive dick, but he’s not a hero

LIZ: nobody really is ha

MIRI: Jacob’s desire to punch him is great

KRIS: Yeah, exactly, I did like that a lot about the movie

LIZ: except when cal calls the bartender.. a cocktail servant that is the meanest thing

Right that felt like real family

MIRI: But he’s definitely seen as being a dick for that

LIZ: like you can be mad at each other but still have a common enemy

MIRI: Even he knows it was dickish

KRIS: cocktail servant was weird, yeah

LIZ: yes he did

MIRI: Yeah I like the way the family can fight and still come together

Very genuine feeling

LIZ: another amazing part... “amy heard you crying in the bathroom. we all thought it was cancer.. thank god!”

and they don’t talk for a while but still kind of love each other and the what nots

KRIS: So about the bar set, I liked that Cal ended up back in that seat after having been in Jacob’s spot looking at some other balding sadsack who was obviously supposed to remind him of himself

It’s simple, but I liked that use of set geography to establish power dynamics

K: Off the top of my head, this AV Club article (on the study table in Community and the elevator in Captain America: The Winter Soldier) is my favorite little internet thing about using a set to establish, and then play with, audience expectations.

LIZ: with a straw!

MARCHAE: Ohhhhh nice!

LIZ: yeah

MIRI: Yes!

Very good use of space/visuals

My perpetual question about Jacob--is he supposed to be Jewish??

LIZ: I also don’t think any women go to that bar twice

for his whole scheme to work

MIRI: He says shvonz (I don’t even know how to spell that) and his name is Jacob.

This is my only evidence but I feel strongly about tit

LIZ: He feels Jewish and sometimes Italian to me haha

MIRI: Yes!

LIZ: maybe both!

MIRI: His actual pronunciation of words does not feel Jewish to me, but that could be regional

MIRI: Please note that I’m not trying to imply that all Jewish people must “sound Jewish.” For example, I have some of the speech patterns that characterize Jewish American speech but almost none of the pronunciations.

Yes, he could be both!

LIZ: but yeah the shvonz (autocorrect can’t guess a thing) seems like yiddish or pretend yiddish

MIRI: Definitely

LIZ: seems like eastern european with a spray tan and a come-as-it-pleases brooklyn accent

MIRI: (HOW MANY TIMES DO I SAY DEFINITELY IN EACH ONE OF THESE??)

LIZ: DEFINITELY A FEW TIMES

MIRI: hahahahahaha YES Liz

LIZ: no I didn’t notice hahaha

KRIS: About as many times as I say “like” and “for sure”

LIZ: or as many times as I ignore punctuation, spelling, capitalization, and grammar in general? jk that is always for me (IM NOT SORRY! I MAJORED IN IT AND I PROVED THAT I KNOW IT)

MIRI: hahahahahaha

KRIS: Marchae I feel like you must have four pages of handwritten notes, is there anything you’re dying to bring up that we haven’t covered?

MARCHAE: HAHAHAHAH

This time I didn't have as many notes!

LIZ: HA

good! that means you just watched and enjoyed!

MARCHAE: My thing was mostly the odd kiddie crush bits that we covered

KRIS: Yeah interestingly I feel like there’s not a lot to overthink here outside of larger cultural issues

LIZ: Why didn’t Jacob buy Cal’s drinks or some of his clothes?

His house is like.. clearly a 4 million dollar plus home

KRIS: Does he ever say what his job is?

MARCHAE: I also wanted to add that I want a story that focuses on Hannah and Jacob

MIRI: That’s true. Like, there’s a lot that’s done really well but it doesn’t take ling to say that

MARCHAE: He's a hustler kris

LIZ: I think he got a large inheritance

KRIS: oh right

LIZ: (pillow talk exposition)

Hesssss a hustler babyyyyy

MARCHAE: Ha!

MIRI: At least he’s not a scrub

LIZ: he knows about new balance rules and he eats pizza w a napkin!

KRIS: That pizza thing is actually the first moment where I thought of Brad Pitt

I think because of Rusty in the Ocean’s movies

LIZ: I think you can wear stylish and supportive footwear btw.. I didn’t like that message

MIRI: Sbaru Sbarro?

I love that moment

LIZ: Brad isn’t my fav

MIRI: Yes, Jacob has some unhealthy rules

KRIS: But he has a similar low-key charisma

LIZ: If you think Brad is charismatic

can you seriously go watch the notebook

MARCHAE: Brad Pitt does?

KRIS: I mean I’ve always liked him

MIRI: In Oceans he totally is

Whether you like him in general or not

LIZ: People don’t forget is all I’ll say about thim

MIRI: We should have Kris and Marchae do a Notebook reaction

And Liz just annotates after

MARCHAE: See the notebook makes me cry

LIZ: oh yes

of course it does

(no spoilies)

MARCHAE: I won't

I'd be down!

LIZ: 😀

MIRI: Ok, anything else we want to say about CSL?

KRIS: I don’t actually harbor DEEP resentment toward Emma Stone for Aloha

MARCHAE: HAHAHA

KRIS: I just hope she makes better choices in the future

LOOKING AT YOU, JOHANSSON

MIRI: Agreed

UGHHHHHH agreed

MARCHAE: Yes!!!!!!!!

MIRI: Like, learn from your mistakes

Stop making even bigger ones

K: Actually I just realized, I’m not sure what else you’re referring to besides Ghost in the Shell.

MIRI: Lucy. While not actually a case of whitewashing, it is pretty bad on the Yellow Peril front and she caught some flak for it...and then upped the ante by playing a Japanese character in Ghost in the Shell.

K: Look, I stopped paying attention to Lucy the second I realized it was premised on that “we only use 10 percent of our brains!” horseshit.

But Johansson didn’t write Lucy, and it was what “proved” she could carry an action movie on her own, so I’m inclined to cut her slack there that I’m not willing to cut her for taking on a specifically whitewashed lead role in Ghost. Expecting actors to answer for writers and directors (in this case Luc Besson) is a slippery slope. Go too far, and it’s like blaming Candice Patton for The Flash writers’ inability to make Iris more than a damsel in distress for longer than half an episode at a time.

MIRI: Very true! I think Lucy is excusable, but Lucy and Ghost combined makes for an uncomfortable pattern. And yes, the 10% of the brain thing is ridiculous.

KRIS: I do like the whole Woody Harrelson Introduced Emma Stone and Brie Larson and Jennifer Lawrence to Each Other thing

MARCHAE: YES MADAM HOT SAUCE DISAPPOINTED ME

LIZ: Amazing

KRIS: We have to talk about this Madam Hot Sauce thing

And we will -- or at least, Marchae will, with our very first Guest Reactor sometime in the next week or two. Because apparently “Madam Hot Sauce” is what Marchae calls Scarlett Johansson, and Marchae has discovered that she has strong opinions about the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

#crazy stupid love #ryan gosling #emma stone #steve carell #julianne moore #liz #kris #marchae #miri #peer pressure #movies #check out our first cliffhanger ending y'all #reaction

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tokyoteddywolf · 7 years

Text

Fuck It I'm Gonna Minific From A Phone

A little Self Story bc I need to write SOMETHING and my Voltron fics are reserved for a computer with a proper keyboard.

————————————————- Huffing, the teenage girl smacked her head onto her desk for what felt like the thousandth time that day. ‘When will this suffering end?’ She thought, tugging her scrunchie out and letting her copper and red streaked hair fall out in curly waves, brushing against her shoulders. She idly played with a particular ringlet as her English teacher ranted about Shakespeare or something similar up front, near the whiteboard. Lucky her, she was sitting in the very back, which meant more chances to daydream. Vaguely she thought that she should shower when she got home, since her hair was feeling a little oily and looked dusty, and earlier this morning she’d broken a comb trying to smooth out a few tangles. Curse her genetics for giving her father’s fluffy curls and her Mum’s wavy thickness to her unruly hair. She didn’t care if her hair was classified as “perfect curls or waves”, all she knew was she never had to use a curling iron to get perfect ringlets, and straightening the damn thing was an hour long process she had no energy for. Not to mention water was her number one enemy, always causing it to either curl or frizz when dried. Or both, which was normally why she kept it tied back with a scrunchie. She snapped back to attention when the bell rung, and she gathered up her things and left that godforsaken class. She said hello to a few friends as she passed them in the hallways, and played her usual game of How Gay Am I For That Girl as she walked to Algebra class. Humming along to the tune on her headphones, she slid into her seat once she’d arrived and waved an awkward hello to her pal Nathan, or Omega as he called himself. Things had been a bit strained between them, mainly because Nathan had a crush on her and she only saw him as a brother. She always felt bad when someone liked her, not that it had ever happened before to her knowledge, mainly because she was Aromantic. She turned to her notebook and hummed quietly to herself, remembering the conversation she’d had with her Mum the other day. “Boys are like static cling sometimes!” Her Mum had sighed, brushing silver and black hair out of her hazel green eyes. “So, you never really felt like dating anyone?!?” She’d responded, actually a little shocked. “No, actually. I stayed single my whole life til I met your father. He’d actually just stuck around me, and we ended up getting married, before that divorce. Every boyfriend since has just stuck to me until I agreed to one date, and I guess I just never had the heart to say no until I got fed up enough.” The older female had explained with a wry smile. “So you must actually be Aromantic like me! Huh! Ya learn something new everyday…” the teen had muttered, before grinning at her Mum. “So once we kick Steve out, no more boyfriends? Promise?” She’d asked, adding puppy eyes for full effect. Her Mum had laughed and nodded agreement. She shook out of the memory when a sheet of complicated looking equations was passed over to her, and she sighed. She had no idea what she was supposed to do, so she huffed and at least tried to figure out what the fuck X equaled. An hour and a half later, she was slumped against her close friend and brother figure Sam, who didn’t complain and merely continued to eat the nachos she’d gotten for him. He never had any money for school lunches, and she’d felt awful when she saw the sad little sandwiches he’d had to eat. She’s started with handing over her leftover food she hadn’t eaten, since she was worried he wasn’t eating enough. Then it turned into her handing over her food at every lunch period since her new meds that controlled her anxiety and ADHD also acted as a hunger suppressant, leaving her appetite nonexistent. She ate, of course, usually when she saw food she liked, such as the fish or the egg rolls, or usually just survived off of the fruit cups and milk cartons. Sam glanced over at where her head was pressed against his leather jacket covered shoulder and raised an eyebrow. “Tough day?” He asked nonchalantly, dipping a chip into some of the liquid cheese and sour cream as she grumbled and looked up and stared at his sideburns. “You have no idea. I might not live through fifth and sixth period.” She groaned, absolutely limp against his form. They had that weird sibling dynamic where physical affection wasn’t all that unwelcome. Sam chuckled and patted her knee sympathetically. “You’ll survive. If I can listen to Mel whine about her problems all day and still keep my sanity intact, then you can survive the next two classes today.” She snorted out a half laugh. “Well, yer her boyfriend. Listenin’ to her is kinda yer job.” She drawled, slipping into her Texan accent. What? She was tired! Her ADHD had kicked her ass the night before, so she’d been up til nearly three in the morning aching to go run or something before she managed to settle down enough to get SOME sort of rest. Sam rolled his eyes and munched on another chip. “Can’t argue with that.” He hummed, shrugging. She sighed. “Honestly I just want to take a nap but I have stuff to do…” Sam rolled his eyes again. “Don’t we all?” He joked, reaching up to ruffle her hair. She purred delightedly at the attention. She adored head rubs, but it was something she only let trusted people do. Which was rare, since she literally had no trust in anyone, anxiety only worsening the problem and making her believe that, even though she had a good life and friends and family that really cared, everyone would turn on her and abandon her and pretty much show that everything was one big lie, a joke. She and Sam started chatting about story ideas, since they had their own little AU called the Squad AU, just a little story about their OC’s and the trouble they get into in different universes, some already existing and some made up. The bell rang again, dismissing the lunch crowd, and she gathered up her things and bid goodbye to her pals as she moved to the class in the library. She grinned as the class door unlocked and she entered the computer filled room, sliding into her favorite spot and swivel chair, adjusting the tilted computer screen and lowering the chair so her chest could have a rest on the wooden table and give her aching shoulders and back a rest. Cracking her neck and back, rolling her shoulders, she popped a few finger joints and logged in, already working on an essay paragraph so she could do what she really wanted to; free write. She actually had a deal with the teacher, after several talks and lectures. After a while, he’d given her a deal: as long as you write a poem a day or an essay paragraph, you can take the rest of the class off to write your creative stories and documents. She’d finished the poem assignment a few days ago, so now it was just a paragraph for an essay a day and she could go back to writing plot lines, head canons, fic ideas and short stories as much as she liked. Once finished with the paragraph, she pulled up a familiar document, the plot line for a Shance one shot she was making, and started adding in more details to the document. Humming, she checked over everything and made a few changes before deeming it ready to be written out as an actual story before opening a new document and starting a new plot line, this one for another one shot idea she’d had last night during her little hyper episode, though to be honest she’d seen the same thing around a few times already but it never failed to make her smile or giggle. She had to research a little for it, but that was okay and she had the bare bones of the idea down by the time the bell ring. She saved everything twice before closing everything and logging off, ready for the long exhausting march to sixth period over in the second building. Once there, she greeted everyone with her usual “Man I feel dead inside!” and slumped into her tall chair, grateful for the cold black plastic table top against her cheek as she rested her head against it. A pencil shooting across the table had her glaring up at her frenemy, Nicholas. “Nick, for the love of everything holy, could ya fucking not?” She growled as the taller boy grinned at her from two tables away, his face blurry since she’d left her glasses at home today, but she could still practically FEEL him smirking. “But messing with you is more entertaining than anything else.” Nick chirped, twirling another pencil in his hand before flicking it at her. She flipped him the bird and nuzzled into her bag, to tired from the jog up the stairs to respond back for the moment. She rummaged around in her bag before pulling out a bag of chips and throwing it at him. “Here. Now shut up and leave me alone.” She hissed, glaring at him as she fumbled with her scrunchie and retied her hair back into a ponytail, or bunnytail since it was short and fluffy and curled down to brush against the back of her neck. To be fair, they were friends, sort of, since Nick went to her Grandpa’s church and she usually saw him there whenever she visited. But, they had a mutual hatred and respect for each other. A weird dynamic, since one moment she’d be sharing food with him and he’d be chatting with her about the logistics of a show, but the next they’d be at each other’s throats with scissors and flailing arms. No real harm was ever done, but it did annoy her to no end when he threw things like pens and popsicle sticks at her. She put on her headphones and ignored him the best she could, occasionally throwing a pen back or discreetly flipping him off, and started doodling in her notebook again. “Oh thank God, I’m free!” She declared as she exited the school, her scarf getting tossed into her face from the wind. Tucking the blue fabric back around her neck, she mumbled to herself as she walked the short distance to her house. “Well, at least until tomorrow.” She sighed, waiting for the crosswalk to turn green so she could cross the street and get home. It was a nice day for once, windy but not freezing cold like the winter they’d just left. Her skirt pressed against her legs as cars blew past, her scarf fluttering over her shoulder as she plucked her loose curl, the one she kept shorter for aesthetic purposes, out of her eyes in time to see the light turn green. She finally got home, and after fending off the excited dogs that swarmed her when she got inside, carefully dodging the hard whip-like tail of her boxer pit bull mix Kane who was a total sweetie, she managed to get into her room and shut the door to be alone. Ignoring the mess on the floor, she flopped onto her bed and sighed into a pillow before checking Tumblr, bored already. “Well, today was boring.” —————————————— I’m ending it there. See what happens when I’m not allowed to write for so long?!?!?!?

#my writing #self indulgence #Self fic #long post #bored #word vomit on paper #descriptive af

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