#because I think sometimes exploring what will happen if it all goes wrong is interesting

[pastafossa]

Preview of Angsty In-Progress TRT What If fic

Right so there won't be a chapter cause I'm still in Covid Brain Fog Town, Population: Me which is affecting my writing (I've gotten a bit written but it's slow going). But I have found time to edit that sad thing I'd been working on BEFORE getting sick and I'm planning to release that because I think it works as a really good illustration of just what the stakes are in TRT if they get this wrong. AKA: a what-if, in which all their preparations fail and Jane is taken (spawned by an ask in my box that's been chewing at my brain for months now).

This will be a really dark and angsty side-fic, and the ending won't be happy per se, although I'm planning to give a little hope at the end since I'm not a COMPLETE monster, but I don't expect everyone to read it regardless and am designing it so there's no need to if you'd prefer to stick to TRT canon. BUT if you DO want to read something like this, here's a preview of the first section.

Warnings for: angst (obviously), blood, reference to shock collars.

Preview wordcount: around 1k

Putting this behind a cut.

Sad Matt gif cause this part's from his POV and it will not be fun.

There should have been a fight. 

That had always been the plan, an unspoken agreement the moment you’d decided to stay. You’d all known the Man in the White Coat, Cyrus James, would come to town eventually. It was an inevitability, a reality, and it was one you’d prepared for. Slowly, you’d gathered in your allies, armor composed of S.H.I.E.L.D., of the Ferryman, of the Punisher and the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen and even Spider-Man, had you asked. There’d been plans and backup plans, alarm systems and fail safes. And just in case that still wasn’t enough, you and Matt had taken to practicing, over and over and over again, all the ways you could signal him should your hunter slip through the cracks. 

It was foolproof. 

It should have been foolproof. That was what you’d all believed. 

You were all wrong. So terribly, terribly wrong.

This isn’t how it was supposed to happen. 

There was no battle. 

It’s my fault. 

No war along the familiar streets that had become your home. 

I should have sensed him. 

There’d been no signal given. No warning, no alarm that rang out, not when you were walking home after a late case. 

Caught alone in the dark.

Where are you, sweetheart? Please, just give me something, anything—

You didn’t even have time to scream, they said.

Not physically, anyway.

He’d felt your fear before on occasion, when you reached for him psychically. Then, your presence felt like the frantic bite of your nails in his skin, tasted like the sharp tang of cold sweat and burning adrenaline, sounded like the stuttered racing of your heart, a drumbeat in his ears that never failed to set his own heart racing as he cast his senses out, hunting for threat-threat-threat and for those that dared to harm you. He’d felt your fear when you woke in the quiet dark of the apartment, and when you’d been trapped beneath the warehouse in a cruel, dusty cell. He’d felt it, too, that night Frank had chased after you. 

He thought he’d known the flavor of your fear. 

But those moments were nothing compared to the moment your deepest, darkest fear became… real. 

The deafening psychic scream that tore through the thread with all the force of a hurricane was like nothing he’d felt before, or ever would again. That storm was all-consuming, the world around him gone in a heartbeat as the sudden wave brought him to his knees, his mouth shocked open on a silent shout. He could barely breathe through that terrified tide, one cold as bitter ice, your panicked heartbeat less a drumbeat than a constant roar in his ears as your panic rolled through him. This was the tremor of muscle and blind, animalistic instinct, the last, desperate sprint of a doomed hare just before the hawk’s talons cinched shut against the back of its neck.

This wasn’t fear. That was too small a word.

It was sheer, absolute terror. 

And in that terror, you managed only a single word. 

“Matt, h—”

You never got a chance to finish. Instead, he was struck by a blinding surge of electricity, white-hot coils of lightning snaking around his throat before locking tight. That shock raced outwards from there, traveling along lines of hidden nerves and thick muscle until his whole body locked up in agony. It was impossible to writhe, to thrash, to fight. All he could do was scream, mindless and furious, your terror matched only by his surge of rage, rage that covered his own wave of terror. Because he knew. He knew, distantly, what this was, and what this meant. 

The collar. 

Just as quickly as it came, the connection was gone, leaving him with nothing but the steady drip of blood from his nose and a ringing in his ears.

He wanted to retch, his stomach roiling, but there was no time. 

It can’t end like this. 

The directional signal he’d gotten from you was worthless. Even when he found where you’d been snatched off the street, they’d left him nothing but droplets of your blood and a fading snatch of cigarette smoke, a poor cover for the faint chemical scent lingering in the alley. Tranquilizers, he’d learn later, meant to knock you out, make you tame enough to be bound, collared, and forced into the back of a van. From there, your scent vanished into the night. 

Caught. Collared. 

Taken.

There was supposed to be more time. 

More time for him in your arms and you in his. 

More quiet touches in the early morning, and laughter in the kitchen, at Fogwell’s, on warm rooftops and cold ones, too. 

Time for him to slip a ring on your finger, and for his name to twine with yours, joyful tears in both your eyes as he pressed his lips to yours on the day you finally became his wife, the keeper of his soul, and he the keeper of yours, for all the rest of your days.

Why hadn’t he asked you?

He should have asked you.

Our rocking chairs should be red, you’d said sleepily last night, when we’re old. 

He should have been faster. 

Stronger. 

Smarter.

“All this, all this that we have here, that you love, is at risk. It always is when I stop. He takes this from me every time, Matt."

He should have protected you. 

He’d promised you he’d keep you safe. 

“No one will take you. I won’t let them, no matter what I have to do to stop them. What happened before—you didn’t have me. I’ll hear him coming from a mile away. We’ll be prepared for him."

“Ciro promised me the same thing. And he was wrong.”

He’d… promised. 

“I promise. I’ll find them before they even get close.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, D.”

And he’d failed.

The Devil’s roar of anguish, of grief, and of absolute agony shook the very bones of the city. 

By that point, you were too far away to hear it. 

It would be seven months before he found you again.

#the red thread #the red thread What If #(so NOT canon) #(just an exploration of what would happen should they fail to keep her safe) #daredevil #matt murdock #fic #fanfic #fic preview #tw: blood #tw: angst #this is pretty much the least dark part of the fic so if you're going to take the full ride use this as a chance to buckle up #this will not be light or humorous or fluffy #99% hurt and very little comfort #we're gonna run face-first into *why* Jane is so terrified of this man #and explore what the failure might look like #because I think sometimes exploring what will happen if it all goes wrong is interesting

[captainmera]

I'm reading your Caleb fic and actually losing my mind over how good and fitting his characterization feels, how well you put the seeds of becoming a bad person in Philip without making him Evil Child and instead make it feel like a natural progression, how everyone's so NUANCED, the historical accuracy, EVELYNS CHARACTERIZATION!!! God!!! I love all of this!!!! (Also the closeted bi Caleb.)

Thank you! :D

Yes, I'm having fun crafting Caleb specifically with Philip turning into the guy Luz meets in canon, and eventually Belos, in mind.

I asked myself: Who the hell raised this dude!? :l And out came my version of Caleb, lol.

And yes, I don't think Philip was a bad kid. I think he became a bad person. Like most people who grow up, things happen and.. You know.

When you look at an adult who is angry, cruel and hateful, you seldom see their whole story. You see them for who they are right now and their unjustifiable actions and behaviours.

Caleb isn't a great parent. He's a good brother, not a half-bad provider, but parent? Not really. He was a kid when he raised his brother, and nobody taught him how to do it right. His outlet for frustrations and feeling helpless allowed him to cognitively dissonance himself from his cruel actions as a witch hunter.

We have no control. There is both freedom and imprisonment in knowing we are powerless to the chaos of hindsight. The endless human toiling of reminiscing in the "what ifs" of life will curse us all to an early doom.

The acceptance of no control, strangely, gives you more control and peace of mind. Sometimes, you can do everything right and it still goes wrong. Sometimes you do everything wrong and things turn out fine!

Doesn't mean people are blameless. Knowing the cause of something doesn't excuse the action or the choices you made.

But recognising that you made choices at the time based on what you knew and believed to be right - does give insight to things. What to do with that insight is up to each and every person.

Evelyn I'm enjoying quite a lot. Because she's not mentally ill like Caleb, who's depressed and suicidal. A character doesn't have to be unwell to be interesting. People have emotions and struggles anyhow. She's a nice person, she means well; she's a perfect example of someone who is just benefit-of-doubt enough to walk into dangerous spaces in good faith. Which puts her in situations Caleb must interfere with, lest she gets found out as a witch.

They save each other, in a way. :)

Caleb closeted bisexuality is a source of great delight to write a sub-plot for. Caleb, v.s. his ideas of what makes a man, is a fun field to dance on. He has been fed a lot of self-destructive ideas that he tries to live up to.

And Evelyn's nonchalant self-expression is also a great delight to write. She's carefree to the point people mistake her for an airhead and kind of stupid. Which isn't true, she just trust in that there is good in people until proven otherwise, and she tries her best to not let those experiences discourage her from new relationships. I like exploring that strange box that often occurs with her personality type - as though being kind and gentle is somehow dumb or naive.

BUT YEAH, Theyre very fun to write! :)

#ttocw #ttocw ask

[dontyouworrydaddy]

Hey hun!! I was wondering if we could get more split personality Ghost/Simon Riley's x reader because you absolutely slay at writing that and I think it's an interesting concept to explore. (Don't feel obligated to answer this request or rush to anything this is just a little idea) anyways love ya boo. I hope you have an amazing day sending lots of love your way 💗💗💗

Lєт мє ℓσνє уσυ αηуωαу

Simon "Ghost" Riley x gn! reader

summary: Simon never puts on his mask when he is at home with you. But as you enter your shared apartment, you’re greeted with Ghost instead of Simon.

warning: angst, fluff

-> I‘m sorry this took me so long :/ I‘m back now tho! Took a break for my mental health and I‘m better now :))🫶🏻🫶🏻 <-

I literally love you so much, you have no idea. I‘m gonna attack you with online hugs so beware and DONT REJECT MY HUGS (and kisses xoxo). 💗💖💕💞💞💘💖

I also think the Simon/Ghost concept is interesting. Like Simon could be the CUTEST boyfriend and person in general but as soon as he puts on his mask he is COLD. Like you have never met such a cold person. He probably never wears his mask at home and when he does, he probably feels overwhelmed and feels like he needs protection from Ghost instead of his significant other. Poor baby :( Wish I could hug him ☹️☹️

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

"Siiiii, I‘m home!" you say loudly as you let your bag fall from your shoulder. Finally, another day done. Today was a pretty tough day at work. The clients were all rude and you were constantly stressed. And now, all you need is your Simon to hug you tightly and do nothing.

But instead of Simon greeting you, you were greeted by Ghost. And this can only mean one thing: Simon needs protection from Ghost again. The sight of seeing him with the mask in your shared home broke your heart. It makes you wonder why he needs the protection of Ghost. He has you. In those cases, you’re the one protecting him. It’s you he always goes to when he isn’t feeling well. Not Ghost.

"What happened?" you asked calmly as you make your way towards him. He doesn’t reply which breaks your heart any further. "Love, please talk to me…"

"There is nothing to talk. Go to sleep." he coldly replies, causing you to take a few steps back. But he and you both now you don’t give up that easily.

"Sim-" you get interrupted by Simon, but this time his voice is so harsh and suddenly everything crashes inside you. "Ghost! Ghost is standing in front of you! Not Simon" he snaps.

You don’t know why but you can feel tears building in the corner of your eyes. You’re not emotional usually. But everything build up inside you. Firstly, today you got yelled by your boss because he thought it was you doing something wrong even though it wasn’t you. Then it was just you doing your job and everyones else’s. Then it was the customers being absolute jerk towards to you. And you aren’t doing well either. But still you’re standing and there for everyone else. And you’re also just a human.

You decided to just leave him alone and go take a shower and then cry silently, so he doesn’t hear you and see how much it affected you.

"You know Ghost. If you just open your eyes, you‘d see how beautiful life can be sometimes. And maybe you‘d see how much you’re hurting me." you say and leave him standing alone in the living room.

~

As you sit in the shower you let yourself have 5 minutes to cry.

Life has been very tough lately and you can’t find a way to escape this hellhole. There are so many things you want to see and so many things you want to explore. But sometimes you feel like just giving up. But you know giving up isn’t an option because you know you can’t leave Simon alone. This man would feel guilty and fall into endless pain. But not only him, also you want to reach your goal. You have so many goals for your life and you can’t just give up on them.

As you let the final tears fall down your wet face, you take a deep breath before you step out of the shower and get ready for bed.

Maybe you shouldn’t talk to Simon Ghost today. You know how it will end. It will always end up with him taking a walk outside and you crying in your bed.

As you slide into your sheets and try to not think about anything right now, you hear the door opening and closing immediately after. Not so long after you feel Simon‘s bedside sink and you don’t know if you should turn to look at him.

"I‘m sorry baby" this time Simon says. When ghost talks to you, he always calls you by your name, not your pet name. Not even your nickname.

You don’t respond and just lay there. Soon enough you can feel Simons arms around your body and his touch is sending chills down your spine. His touch is so calming and so magical, you sometimes don’t know how he can do that.

"I scared Ghost off" yup it’s definitely your Simon talking to you right now. "I wanna lay here with my girl and talk about her day" he adds.

And after saying that, you just couldn’t resist. You turned to face him and move closer to him, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. Your broken heart starts to heal because whenever your in his arms, you feel like Simon scares off your problems. His arms make you feels safe and protected. He makes you forget about your problems.

His one hand rests at the back of your head and he leaves kisses on your forehead. "You’re home now. Rest baby. We can talk tomorrow,hm?" he suggests with a sweet and caring voice and you just nod.

With that, you fall asleep in your Simons arms. Maybe Ghost let him get out and be with you. But you don’t care right now. You‘ll care tomorrow. Right now, there are no problems and there is just you and him. Nothing and no one else.

Just you and Simon.

#call of duty #fanfic #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare 2 #simon ghost riley #call of duty fanfic #cod #simon riley

[cloudyyoimiya]

HEAR ME OUT.. SCENARIO ABOUT DAZAI WITH A GN S/O LIKE AUBREY FROM OMORI??

oh my word i love this! i didn’t get too far into omori myself so i had my friend help me out on this! also i couldn’t get all of my thoughts out with just a scenario, so i hope you don’t mind a few headcanons! thank you for your request!

With a S/o Like Aubrey from Omori; Osamu Dazai

Format: Headcanons and Scenario

Possible Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, suicide mentions (Dazai), spoilers for Omori(?)

To start off, Dazai would absolutely love the energy you give off; especially if you’re more on the cheerful side! He loves how energetic you can get over something that peaks your interest!

Sometimes if you freak out over small things, he’ll find it funny. If you ever catch him laughing about this you’ll either calm down immediately or get a little angry. There’s no in between.

If you ever do get angry and lash out, Dazai would be there to try and calm you down. He’d put a hand on your shoulder, or if you’re comfortable with it, he’d hug you and attempt to tell you that everything is all right.

The same thing happens if something goes wrong and you try to distance yourself from your friends or him. He’d be there to comfort you in a heartbeat and he’d make sure that you don’t make any rash decisions. Dazai would also make sure that you aren’t too hard on yourself as well.

If you happen to be clumsy like Aubrey, Dazai will always be there to catch you when you fall. Though, he will find it amusing that you can trip over seemingly nothing. Sometimes he’d catch you and you’d see him smirking.

Sometimes if Dazai gets distracted from a case, you’d have to redirect him. It’s not a simple task, but it’s able to be done.

Here’s some food for thought; imagine if you were in the Port Mafia. You were an executive and you ran a small squad much like the Hooligans that Aubrey leads. Of course your small squad would be more… professional, but still. I’d like to think that this kind of thing drew Dazai in the first place.

Now, I won’t write the mafia scenario today, but maybe I will later if I’m asked to. <3

Scenario…

Today you and your boyfriend were out running errands for the agency. Originally Dazai was asked to do this alone, but knowing him he wouldn’t do it unless you came along. You were slightly mad at him because you already had a lot of work to do. You had to write a few reports, you had to print out some documents… All boring things.

Dazai hooked his arm around yours as he lead you towards the next shop you had to visit. You sighed at the contact. Despite how much you liked going outside to explore, running errands with Dazai was always a bore. He’d always get side tracked and you’d have to redirect him.

“Oh, we’re here,” you said as you two arrived at the store. “Do you wanna wait outside?”

“I could never leave you alone, my love!” Dazai exclaimed, acting as if he was offended by your question. “Plus, if I did you’d somehow run into trouble!”

Your eye slightly twitched at the thought. “Yeah, alright fine. C’mon.”

You practically dragged Dazai into the store. You then walked down the aisles, looking for a specific sweet that Ranpo wanted. Apparently this candy was getting rare since the company was going out of business.

You eventually grabbed everything that you needed to. Dazai had been talking your ear off about anything and everything, trying to make you engage in a conversation while you were concentrating. You did give him short and sweet answers, yes, but you also wanted to bash his head with the baseball bat that you always carried around with you.

“—And then Kunikida was all like, ‘Oh no Dazai! You can’t try to kill yourself on the job!’ with such a mad expression! He then hit me with his book of ideals on top of my beautiful head! I just can’t believe him!” Dazai ranted on. “I truly think that he hates me!”

You had arrived at the cash register, groceries in hand. “No, really? What makes you say that?”

You started to pay for the groceries, giving the cashier your credit card. The transaction went through and the two of you left the store quickly.

“Kunikida is always foiling my suicide attempts! It’s really starting to get on my nerves!”

You silently chuckled at his antics. “Maybe he just cares for you, Osamu.”

Dazai sighed. “If he cared he’d let me—“

You playfully smacked the back of his head.

“We need to head back soon.”

“Ow! That hurt!” Dazai whined.

The walk back contained Dazai blabbering on and on about rather mundane topics. You of course blabbered back once he reached a topic you liked. 

You walked up the stairs to the agency, almost tripping on a few of the steps. Dazai caught you one time at the top of the stairway. Embarrassed, you slightly yelled at him. He only smiled and led you back to your desk.

“You really need to work on your balance, you know. I won’t be able to catch you each time.”

“Oh would you shut up?!”

Requests are open!

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd headcanons #bsd season 4 #bsd s4 #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd x reader #bsd dazai #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #osamu dazai x reader #bungo stray dogs headcanons #bungo stray dogs dazai #bungo stray dogs x reader #omori #omori aubrey

[muzzleroars]

Me remembering a random russian proverb and going like "oh. that reminds me of gabe actually"

The proverb in question is "Перед смертью не надышишься" (Pered smert'yu ne nadyshish'sya), literally "Can’t breath enough before death"

It can mean:

"Putting it off won't make it any easier"

"At the last moment, you can not manage to do what you had to do beforehand"

"You can't make up for lost time"

"It's too late for that now"

And it's also sometimes interpreted as like,, "well it's too late for that now, so no point in trying anyway"

And this made me think of AUs/HCs where Gabe actually Dies™️ (and I've pretty much accepted that it's the most likely thing to happen in canon too. who knows for sure tho, maybe not)

Like. He has so much stuff to do, so many topics to think of, so many emotions to go through (esp if he has Feelings™️ for V1, or anyone else for that matter), but whelp! too late for that loverboy!

And him either desperately trying to do at least something with the little time he has left, OR just. Giving up. Shutting down and waiting for everything to end

And about the "putting it off" part, makes me think that Gabriel must've had at least some trauma/issues related to the Council (about the time when they took the light from him, if nothing else), so it could've been hard for him to go back here, and actually deal with it, face it head on, but he did it anyway because it's not gonna get any easier if he waits

me rotating gabe in my head like in a microwave rn

as much as i obviously enjoy exploring gabriel as a fallen angel, i 100% agree that he's going to die in canon as ultrakill sees the world at the end of its lifespan and that goes for just about everything in it. and on a character level for gabriel, i think it makes sense for the exact reasons this proverb brings up: gabriel has had an end of life epiphany and, like everything else, it is too late now. his world has crashed down around him in his death throes, and all he can do is what is most important in the precious few hours he has left while the rest, all of the personal trauma he must harbor, will now remain forever untouched. but we've already seen whatever gabriel will do with that time remaining will be worthy of it.

the majority of the day he has left has likely already been spent, but he has used it fully to contemplate his long existence and then hearken to newfound autonomy - after which, he swiftly dispatches the entirety of the council to liberate heaven from their rule (the way he chooses to slay the final councilor has interesting parallels now to his execution of sisyphus, and i'm sure that figures into gabriel wishing to right wrongs he can't take back). we know after this he will depart forever from heaven, and his only destination can be hell to meet once again with v1 as he promised. gabriel has so much he could do, so much it could be argued he needs to do, but with his death impending and the very world around him crumbling with it, there is actually very little left for him to do realistically. gabriel is leaving a life full of regret that he will never remotely understand because he has no time for it, but he's ensuring that whatever can be tangibly, immediately addressed is. his life will never be put into context for him, but his death will be.

because gabriel leaves behind a cruel, bloody life that he once thought to be one of supreme order but is, instead, a mess. his time spent serving god had wronged so many, it had likely constantly gone against his own internal morals (that he no doubt punished himself over and over for, torturing himself over sins he now understands were compassion) - yet those feelings don't matter because ultimately he upheld god's will, he carried his banner of violence against humanity, and now there is no one to confront or repay with god and humans all dead. and under the rule of the council, he became a dog he must be disgusted with - they were not god, they never held that ultimate authority that at least he may have been able to shift the blame onto somewhat. they were angels just like him, perhaps higher in rank but not his ruler and certainly not his maker, yet he conformed to their every order, he furthered their political gains again at the expense of his morals. secretly he cared for those in limbo. secretly he cared for the ferrymen. secretly, perhaps, he was some kind of friend to hell. but then the council came and he obeyed them as unconditionally as he had god, reining terror on the citizens of hell and becoming their blight after ripping minos's crown from him as judge of hell. these are the festering regrets he will never account for, will never make reparations for - they are all dead, and he is dying.

so what can gabriel do except address his death and what brought him to it - a poor substitute for making sense of an entire life now left undone, but he seems to working within what he has instead of giving into panic or despair. and all he has left, all he has time for and all he knows he can manage in the hours remaining, is going to see v1 one last time. i'm sure with this, gabriel has a definite goal in mind: i think foremost is fully immersing himself in his feelings for v1 and just what this machine did for him. ultrakill, despite all appearances, is a love story in many ways, and i strongly believe gabriel's feelings toward v1 will be woven into that theme. he wants to feel his love as fully himself and now that he has realized it, to wrap himself in it after the revelation has occurred and allow it to flow through him with acceptance. it happens through a fight, of course, but what i don't know is what gabriel's ultimate goal for that fight will be - does he want his last act to be stopping v1, to have them die together in a sense, or does he desire to be killed by v1 rather than letting that loss of light take him? maybe gabriel would be content with either, but i think of him as a character with now well-defined ideas of what he wants, so i believe he's more likely to want something concrete.

#either way i think this man is gonna lose his head #the decapitation theme with him is just too strong #i would say there's a SLIGHT chance based on the narrative that gabriel actually lives #depending on the story they want to tell #but it's slight bc i think everyone is. gonna die lol #cake answers #gabriel

[crystalcanis]

Teaser for 2024!! Chapter 1 might have ended but the horrors continue.

Where to read my comic! LINK (coming to tumblr sometime this year hopefully)

I'm going to put some personal thoughts regarding chapter 1 below, it's there if you want context on how I see this story, but it can be ignored if you don't want to read a wall of text! I hope the teaser looks nice and spikes interest! I think this next chapter is going to be a fun one.

Arc 1 Chapter 1 was written when I was still in highschool, I have graduated college by now :' ) So needless to say, I am very excited to be jumping into the second arc of this story and be done and over with the stuff my teenage self wrote. 

I scripted Arc 2 Chapter 2 relatively recently (almost done scripting Arc 2 Chapter 3 too), so it has my current writing style and pacing! I'm really proud of it personally, I think its fun but I guess there is that underlying fear of people maybe not liking my current approach to the characters. Specially because I know this comic seems to be the favorite amongst my current two because of how long it's been around! Even if I made little edits on the way, Chapter 1 was basically the same script my teenage self wrote... I had to follow the planned pacing and events, and oh gosh there are so many scenes I would write differently (all the ones before we meet Noriel, basically.)

My biggest personal complain with chapter 1 is that I don't think I was clear enough with the theme of the story nor did I give it much justice : ( and that in part goes with my younger self just, not having enough experience writing heavier topics at the time. This story is based on my personal experiences with xenophobia, it's about xenophobia, back when I scripted chapter 1 I knew how it FELT like, but now as an adult I have been able to go deeper and analize why I feel that way, why people treat me the way they do, and much more that I plan to properly explore going forward. This doesn't mean that other people connecting with this story through other forms of bigotry like racism, transphobia, homophobia etc is wrong, though! I have seen your explanations for why and it's sooo so fair, I don't mind this story reasonating with how general bigotry feels like at all, intersectionality is a thing for a reason. But I wish to explore xenophobia as it was intended :]! It's personal to me. And the world of Ales is so HUGE! Chapter 1 did not give the worldbuilding justice either! There is so much to explore and I'm excited! I can't believe my younger self wanted to end the story here, man. Insane.

The only thing that's closest to my current writing style in chapter 1 is actually the flashback with Noriel and Kana we saw this year! That wasn't part of the original script, and I added it in preemptively, knowing I would need it for context in the new chapters but that I wouldnt have space for it later, it needed to happen Now or never. So I guess that's a good reference for what to expect! But fear not, just because chapter 2 and onward is technically an updated approach to things, that doesn't mean what happened in chapter 1 wont affect anything! Quite the contrary oh boy! What happened in chapter 1 is a big catalyst for so many things that happen in this story, and why Noriel and Kana act the way they do. I think it's going to be great and I can't wait to share it, I just hope other people like it as much as I do!

#canisart #wings ioa #kana #[spoiler character] #webcomic #oc #art #comic teaser #original character #original comic #original story #angel oc #devil oc #human oc #humanoid oc #I am soooo so excited for HER

[cleromancy]

What is your opinion on KonTim? I noticed you posting a lot of Kontim lately and I was wondering if you are beginning to like it? Also, since I know you stated you didn't like Kon in the past, are you beginning to change your mind about him?

to be honest my opinions from 12-13 years ago when i was a very angry very opinionated teenager often dont reflect my current opinions. i just want to establish that now.

but for the record my dislike of kon was more of a reflex to the way fandom at the time made him this very flat "aw shucks" kind of cardboard cutout. i only started disliking him when i tried reading more of his comics where he tended to be y'know. more nuanced, he'd be a jerk sometimes, inconsiderate and thoughtless, etc, and then turning around and going on tumblr where the way people talked about him didnt reflect that at all, that was really offputting for me. because i do--and did--love characters who are assholes, but not if thats not... like... acknowledged. and fandom was *aggressively* not acknowledging it, from my perspective. anyway i think when i get around to rereading yj98 ill like him more this time. particularly because i *am* so much older now and will be reading from more of a place of "yeah of course hes a shithead sometimes, hes 16 years old (for a given value of 16 years old)."

as for timkon i wouldn't say i "ship" it. and i would also like to contest the assertion that ive been posting "a lot" of it lately LMAO i think ive posted it like two times in as many weeks, and then maybe 2 more times i rbed smth where they were in the same nonshippy frame or textpost?

but back to the ship itself. to begin with they *are* very good friends whose relationship is important to them both, that changed them both, and that has an impact on characterization. and i dont... think you can read a lot of those old tim comics, if you read him as queer at all, without acknowledging that there was at at least one point something btwn them.

but as far as shipping it goes. first of all i still think most of fandom does it wrong. (if im being serious, theres no "wrong" way to do fandom, but that's also the most succinct way i can put it that i don't vibe with the majority of the stuff thats out there.) second of all i don't... like i dont *want* them to get together, exactly, unless a given writer is doing a really good job at the yarn theyre spinning convincing me otherwise, within the boundaries of that story.

but there *is* something btwn them, romantically speaking, and it has a lot of interesting character/relationship potential to explore for both of them. i am at the moment almost entirely uninterested in exploring it from kons side, which is another reason i dont really ship it, but that might change when i get around to rereading yj98. but i really don't think you can get a full picture of new earth tim drake as a character without admitting he at least had a thing for kon when kon was dead, any other point in time being much more up for interpretation.

so basically! 1. its interesting when its allowed to be interesting and not flattened into featureless fluff 2. i dont ship it AS SUCH but it absolutely was a thing that happened even if they never date or dated, and 3. as for kon himself i think ill be a lot more forgiving now both bc i Am older and bc no one in my fannish circle these days is annoying about him where i see it LMAO

#asks #dc

[hypnotisedfireflies]

Hi! what do you think about the Tess is a top thing? From that interview with Anna? I have noticed in your fics that sometimes she is and sometimes she isn't.

Hello anon! You mean this interview, for anyone who hasn't seen it. 😘

I have seen some writers take this to the domme extreme and others not so far. It's subjective and there's enough cake for us all to go around, so there's no right or wrong view here. So this of course is all coming from my interpretation of the character and Anna and Pedro's conversations as referred to in that interview.

I do love me a sexy top Tess but it also doesn't make sense to me for her to be a top ... all the time.

Driftersverse Tess and Joel have a very shared, equal partnership. The balance of power goes back and forth between them constantly, depending on their mental, emotional and physical states. Given the breadth of time I write in (I'm between 2003 - 2026 now) I'm constantly moving between different stages of evolution for themselves and the relationship. I think a switch dynamic is more realistic in the circumstances I choose to write, and also more exciting overall because it's like, who has the power now? Who is giving it up and who is getting the release from the giving or the taking?

I don't choose to interpret it simply as Tess Is Always the Top, because everything else is so in flux; and so is this.

Driftersverse Tess is largely in control of everything around her and Joel in as much as one can be. She's the one who is thinking ahead and doing most of the scheming, she plays the room and brings them out in front by planning, organising, out-thinking everyone else and being bold and cold enough to do what they have to.

That control that she maintains is kind of exhausting ... and sometimes, it's really good for her to relinquish that control into Joel's hands in bed. It's release. Losing that control and putting herself in the hands of someone she trusts feels really fucking good. She can just switch off and let him tell her what he wants her to do or make her do it, and that's cathartic. (Though sometimes he still has to work for it, see Cassius blue, lol).

Driftersverse Joel likes a woman who takes charge. I write about that most in SQ because I'm in his head a lot there but essentially, he's spent his whole life filling one particular role in bed as the dominant partner and he really, really likes a woman who will swap that around with him and keep things exciting. He finds sweet, shy violets kind of boring; he wants to be challenged. But just as much as he likes being controlled does he like taking it from Tess, especially as time passes and he learns how much she actually needs that.

So again, it's that back and forth, giving the other what they need when they need it and swapping roles as they see fit.

From a writing perspective it's more interesting for me, because I get to explore a lot of different smutty scenarios, lol. But more importantly, those feed directly into the story itself. I rarely write smut for smut's sake, so what's happening in those scenes is about advancing the story or the characters or whatever needs to be explored. And if it was always the exact same power dynamic ... yeah, it could still work, but I don't think it would be as effective. Or fun to read.

I hope that answers your question! ❤️

#joel x tess #joel miller #tess servopoulos #tlou #asks #driftersverse #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #tlou fanfic

[missathlete31]

Hi.

I'm going to need a detailed analysis on every aspect of Just A Scratch. I am SO obsessed with this i cant WAIT for part 2.

Im a slut for hurt/comfort on a normal day--add in the fact that its Nat & Jake--also that Nat is put in a situation that SO many of us have been in, and we see her vulnerable for the first time in how she reacts (not the cool calm collected badass.)

Idk man ive been in sinilar situations and my immediate reaction has always been to fawn. ("Dont say anything to make them angry amd make the sitation worse-thats the only way out") and seeing a badass, confident woman like Natasha rocked a little bit, and thrown off/not immediately shove him off/etc... idk, makes me feel a little more seen in my knee-jerk responses to harrassment.

Idk man, i just feel SEEN.

Thank you for that. 🥺 i wasnt expecting to feel healing when i read this at 5am. 🥹

-- @callsign-barbell 🔔

Okay first off- THANK YOU for reading my story and being such a fan that you reached out! A detailed analysis!!!! OMG don’t tempt me!!! Lol

But in all seriousness I’m so happy that everyone seems so interested and understanding with Nats reaction! I know it’s a little against cannon because like you said she is normally so calm cool and collected badass but I really liked exploring her vulnerable side. The guy throws her off her game because she really wasn’t expecting it and she goes through what a lot of people do in these unwanted situations- shakiness and uncertainty.

As someone that’s worked in hockey arenas and bars for 10 years I know that this situation happens and it happens a lot. Sometimes it’s more innocent (someone reading vibes wrong) and sometimes it can be dangerous. I completely get your fawn reaction, my go to was always to just laugh it off and get on to another customer. It’s never easy to feel unsettled and especially in this story where the predator was violent, these situations can escalate very quickly.

Part 2 is going to explore a little bit of victim shaming (Natasha is going to think this is all her fault) and while I don’t want to seem virtue signaling I think it’s an important step in the progress of the story.

It’s funny, this really meant to be a one shot, slight Hannix angst with a wholesome ending. But I’m enjoying the more serious tones in this especially if it helps readers see that even the strongest fictional characters can experience these moments like we do.

Thank you again for being so awesome @callsign-barbell and all other readers. Feel free to reach out again with any questions, or if you want to vent or anything!

I really hope you all like Part 2 and Part 3

#top gun maverick #jake hangman seresin #natasha phoenix trace #nat trace #phoenix is a badass #so are you guys #just a scratch #top gun #anon ask #dagger squad #top gun: maverick #hannix fic #hannix

[misscrawfords]

I've been feeling absolutely nothing at all in regards to my father's death since returning to the town where I work. It's like nothing that happened back home over the summer actually took place. Apparently this sort of new phase of denial is normal, but it feels really weird. Every now and then I have a sort of flash and then my mind screams at me and it goes away again. But I can't help feel like it's all going to come crashing down around me at some point. I feel really melancholy this evening and lonely (not abnormal for me) but I'm not really thinking about it directly or anything. I just think/feel it... sideways. IDK.

I've got a weird set of feelings towards men at the moment. Because on the one hand, while my father was ill and dying, I saw the absolute best of men- strength, compassion, support, kindness - and sometimes where I wouldn't have expected it. It buoyed me up and gave me hope. But I have also been totally ignored the entire summer by a man I considered a close friend who couldn't even do the bare minimum and post a message of condolence on facebook, let alone contact me directly. I am so disappointed and disillusioned. Whatever I might have felt for him, a) I definitely don't now and b) was clearly not in the same ballpark as him. Meanwhile, the random guy from uni who I was talking to a bit at the beginning of the summer faded away and although I actually asked him out (well, asked if he wanted to come with me to an exhibition but that's basically asking him out, RIGHT?) because I am no longer afraid of rejection, he never even bothered to reply. His loss. But what is WRONG with the men I choose to be interested in? Why are they incapable of communicating or showing any interest back? I know I'm not super hot but what about me is making them lose any interest they ever had? Or why am I going for such utterly useless men? When clearly there are kind, generous, humorous, giving, intelligent men out there! Because this summer proved it! It's so baffling to me. And frustrating. Are single men who apparently want relationships just genuinely not interested in interacting with and showing interest in women who show some interest in them? Or is it just me?! Again... IDK.

I'm seriously considering dealing with all my issues by writing Harry Potter fanfiction. I KNOW OKAY??? But this summer has been... all manner of terrible and I'm trying to figure out who I am - really and truly figure it out. As my mother pointed out to some relative recently, "She really did identify to such an extent with Hermione Granger" and maybe I just need somehow to retreat to that safe space of my adolescence and explore who I am through Hermione Granger again. I know JKR is no longer someone to admire, I get it, but HP fandom (rather than the books which I've actually only read once) has always been such a safe space for me. Again... I don't know.

I don't know much at the moment. I think I should go to bed.

[convexicalcrow]

Scarland is different at night. You mostly don't notice how dark it is during the day, because the sun and all the lights shining all around you conceal all but the faintest of shadows. But at night, the shadows lengthen in strange ways, and Main Street feels like it's gone back in time. Or perhaps, emerged from a different place.

You should never go out at night in Scarland. It's not just the mobs. It isn't Alan, or the Evoker downstairs. It's something else, something... darker. A presence that seeps into the walls and the deepslate roads that makes you feel like you're being watched. Followed.

Perhaps, in another story, I'd say it was the hotel, that my room was cursed, or that I stumbled into a room that did not - should not - exist. But it's more than that. The hotel, of course, is perfectly fine and servicable. The apartments are colourful and clean and well-designed and the staff always happy to help.

And yet. I remember lying in bed one night, two days after I'd arrived, and I heard something scratching on a windowsill. It was fairly quiet, since the windows were all far from the bedroom in the front of the apartment, and so perhaps I dismissed it as simply some sound from the park that I didn't yet know the cause of and went back to sleep.

The next night, I got talking to another guest at supper in the restaurant downstairs. I mistook him for a cast member at first, given how colourful his clothes were, but no, he said, he was just a guest. He'd just come from very far away to stay here and was enjoying his stay immensely. I had, too. The park was everything I'd heard it could be, and so much more. I'd barely seen even a third of the park and couldn't wait to explore more tomorrow.

We got talking about the park, and what we'd seen, and somehow, through the most casual of manners, I asked him how he found his room. I was mostly interested in seeing whether he also agreed that the rooms were very well appointed and comfortable, and he said it was fine, but I heard him hesitate.

Is something wrong?, I asked, and he said, well, it's not really wrong, not really, but-, and this was the point where he lowered his voice a little and drew in close, I swear to you something goes out at night in that place. I've heard footsteps down Main Street, footsteps and no one in sight.

Now that seemed... odd. But perfectly explainable. The park's owner had mentioned when he'd welcomed me to the park that staying in the hotel would mean I got to hear some of the backstage things, and to dismiss any strange sounds or voices we might hear at night. The cast members prepare for the next day's shows, sometimes props need moving into place, or rehearsals happen at night when the park is empty. Nothing to worry about, he'd said brightly.

I told all this to my new friend and he said he'd heard the same thing, but something about the footsteps had seemed unusual. Like they were bones scraping along the cobbles.

I was dismissive, and he could hardly come up with another explanation either, and our conversation moved on to other things.

A couple of nights later, I had been out after the park's closing, picking up some new souvenirs to take home. I had not seen my colourful friend all day and assumed he must have gone home for his room was now inhabited by someone else who I never saw, only heard rummaging around and ordering room service a lot.

I must have lost track of time as I wandered around the gardens because I found myself out on the streets at night, and that's when I really noticed just how strangely dark it was. The shadows were... odd. Darker than you think they should be, as if that makes sense. A thin fog rolled through the streets, but it didn't last and the wind soon blew it away.

I dawdled. I was entranced by the change in atmosphere, and how night could change what was a cheery, happy place into one that seemed so dark and foreboding. The building facades on Main Street all seemed more crooked and bent out of shape. Small spots of lights danced around between the windows. Seeing one of the park security guards approaching me in my reverie, I offered my apologies and scurried back to the hotel, getting the sense that I shouldn't be out here.

As I turned the corner to return to the hotel, an arrow whizzed past the back of my head. I turned, expecting to see a skeleton. But there were no mobs around; the full moon that night illuminated the park very clearly. What I saw instead was a man, dressed in some kind of vigilante outfit, standing down at the other end of the street. There was some kind of symbol on the man's chest, but I did not recognise it. He carried a bow, which I could see silhouetted against the background, and his eyes glowed a soft light blue, as if he were possessed.

The thing I remember most about that moment is how dense the air felt, like there was a heavy, malevolent presence in the park that night. The wind seemed to be whispering, but if it was saying anything, I could hear nothing of any coherence.

I had looked at him for mere seconds when he nocked another arrow and seemed to point it straight at me. I took the hint and didn't stay, but I had looked long enough to realise the man bore a strange resemblance to the park owner. Was he practicing for some new show? Trialing out some new character? As far as I was aware, he did not involve himself in the performances. But perhaps he simply took park security very seriously.

I returned to my room, packed away my purchases, and headed to bed, thinking nothing more of the strange figure I'd seen.

A single feather was on the floor in my room when I woke. Not the fletching from an arrow, just a normal ordinary feather. There were no signs that any kind of bird had been in the room, and so concluded that it must have been placed there. The strange thing is, it was a yellow feather, and I had never seen any yellow-plumed birds in my time here. It must have been dyed, or come from elsewhere.

Either way, I picked it up and set it on the windowsill. I'm not the sort of person to collect feathers anyway, so simply left it for the staff to find. It was my last day anyway, and I would be heading home.

On my way back to the train station, I noticed the Evoker seemed to have its back turned away from the street. I approached the creature cautiously, having never dared stray too close in case the Vex were summoned. As I got closer, I noticed it had an arrow stuck in its shoulder, and it seemed to be... shivering. Nervous? It was unclear.

"Oh, don't worry about him, there were some skeletons around last night that needed fighting off, but he'll be okay. He's had his potions, now we're waiting for the arrow to leave," came a voice from behind me.

I turned to see the park owner smiling brightly as usual as he came up to me. Oh, that's good to know, I said, and the wound did look like it was slowly healing as the Evoker sunk deeper into the corner, acting as if the light was too bright.

We chatted as he walked me to the train. I was not expecting such personal service from him, but he seemed genuinely interested in how my stay had been. I'm not sure now why I even mentioned it, but I told him about one of the rehearsals I'd seen, with some kind of vigilante character with glowing eyes. I said he seemed like a really interesting character and couldn't wait to come back to Scarland to see how that show would develop, as I had convinced myself that is what I had seen.

He laughed, but it was a laugh with a deeper note to it, one I couldn't read. You gotta be careful around Scarland at night, he said, with the voice of someone about to tell you a ghost story. You never know what's out there waiting to kill you.

And then he was back to his usual self, joking with me as he escorted me up to the platform and helped me back my bags onto the train. Other passengers were also boarding, and once he was done with me, he went to greet everyone else and see them off personally. It was definitely strange behaviour, but nothing I could really point to as weird. After all, how can I fault a man who takes such good care of his guests?

I remember gazing out the window as he waved us off, and I noticed something small on his lapel, something that looked just like the symbol on that man I'd seen. But a moment later, it had gone, and he was waving us off as the train pulled out, taking me back home again.

I never knew what to make of any of this. It all seems... perfectly ordinary, if a bit strange. All easily explanable and clearly nothing to worry about. But I'm not sure I'll ever go back. You see, I found that yellow feather tucked into a book I'd purchased, one that had been already packed into my bags and not easily accessible. It felt like a warning, one I am going to heed. Do not be out in Scarland at night. There's something dark underneath that bright facade, something that does not want you there.

#hermitcraft #fanfic #scarland #original narrator #gtwscar #scott smajor #jekell and hyde!scar and hotguy #hotguy might be possessed by the vex #ghost stories for christmas #bc i'm in the mood

[shepherds-of-haven]

All right: so the mc is dming the Blest equivalent of a dungeons and dragons campaign for some of the other captains. Who’s spectating, who joins in, and who just Doesn’t Get It

Oooh, interesting question! Let's see...

Blade: initially he would just be spectating, but then he would get irritated every time combat was initiated because everyone would be making the wrong "moves" according to him, so he would join in because he enjoys games of tactics and strategy with rulesets, but then he would become irritated by the luck-based element of dice rolls and quit again, lol. His character would literally just be him with absolutely 0 imagination involved glfdjgfdg

Trouble: he would be playing, gamely but a bit poorly. He would be so focused on the idea of "winning" or a goal or competition that he wouldn't really focus much on the role-playing aspect of it, so if MC is like, "You're in a tavern, and you see a shifty-looking goblin at a table. What do you do?" Trouble: "kill him" (thinking killing as many people as possible is the point of the game, not realizing this is a chance to role-play and explore). He's the type of player that when you speak to him in the goblin's creaky, sibilant hissing voice, he gets kind of uncomfortable with having to "act" and is just like "haha hi". He's not very good at acting, performing, or having to inhabit a role!

Tallys: she'd most likely be simply observing; she'd enjoy the storytelling aspect and would be genuinely interested in how the campaign unfolds, but wouldn't feel much of a need to control a character herself. She might hover around someone else and give them unprompted advice now and again!

Shery: she'd be playing, and she'd get really into the whole backstory and origins of her character, their personality, etc.! She wouldn't be very good at acting, but she'd be very dedicated about making decisions according to their psychology and mindset! She'd be very stressed out by the combat, though!

Riel: he most likely wouldn't play; the concept would be briefly interesting, but the idea of being involved in a game over several hours or even days would not be appealing to him (even though he has a standing chess match with Red where they only make a few moves basically every night). He's just not interested in exercising his imagination that way!

Chase: he would be playing, but he would derail the campaign by trying to seduce everything he encountered 😪 he'd probably be the sluttiest bard/thief you ever saw... you could be fighting the Demigorgon and he'd just be like "I roll to seduce" (MC: "if you fail again, literally everybody in your party is going to be horrifically killed." Chase: "I roll to seduce")

Red: he'd be playing, but he'd take it just a tad too seriously, so every time Chase or someone chose to do something ridiculous, he'd get frustrated or stressed out, like "You can't even... the Demigorgon doesn't have... it doesn't have genitals" (Chase: "I roll to seduce") He'd probably be a tad nitpicky and insufferable about rules and worldbuilding, I think, like "I don't think you can do so-and-so if we're playing by the 5e manual..." or "doesn't it say somewhere in [extremely obscure lore] that there are no Flameling mothers, only fathers, so your character can't exactly be a Flameling bastard if their father was a corsair?" (cue collective groan)

Ayla: she would be coming in and out to observe with absolutely zero context for what was happening, throwing out blithe, absolutely insane out-of-the-box suggestions (like "why don't you climb into the treasure chest so you can be protected when your bomb goes off, killing the kobald horde?") that sometimes actually worked, and then wandering out again

Briony: she'd be playing, but she'd find it a stressful experience once she realized that her character could permanently die, because she'd get too attached easily and would be too protective of her to take risks 😫 She'd also probably be the type to ship her character with any NPC or party member who had the remotest chemistry with hers and would absolutely be focused on the social situations more than anything else! She'd be pretty good at the role-playing and acting, too!

Lavinet: she would get it as a concept, but she would not really find DnD much fun: to her it's just like a game of pretend, or acting in a play that you're all making up as you go. She doesn't begrudge the others their fun, she just wouldn't feel the need to play herself!

Halek: he'd probably be around to provide snacks, and I could see him playing if the scenario was particularly interesting, but he lacks the stamina if the campaign drags on over several days and would probably intentionally kill off his character to free himself if that were the case, lol!

#Shepherds of Haven #DnD #dungeons and dragons #AU #all characters

[isabelguerra]

sexuality hcs for the main cast? :D

NO idea what brought this on but yeah sure! unless stated otherwise my work usually writes everyone bi by default, even if they haven’t realized it yet, but it can be really fun to play with different interpretations too. honestly its not something i think about often or keep too rigid, sometimes it depends on what kind of story im writing and what messages i want to convey. but sometimes we stay silly

- isabel max johnny violet are bi

- isaac dimitri stephen are gay

- ollie tends to flip between ‘future bear’ and ‘token straight friend’ it usually depends which is funnier in context

- lisa and suzy being lesbians has always been a constant in my brain

- if im feeling REALLY indulgent ill spice max up with some lesbianism. hit him with the dyke beam

- ed usually isnt cis to me so whatever goes on there tends to switch up a lot. i dont try to name it i just focus on feeling it. when ed IS cis i think him being the token straight friend is pretty funny. like hes the really enthusiastic type but means well.

- RJ is similar to ed. sometimes i like them as a lesbian. sometimes i like them not interested in anyone. sometimes i like shipping them w ed. sometimes other ppl. theyre a really fun character to write actually

- jeff is gay but he doesn’t realize for a long long time. where everyone else is a bit more comfortable with themselves hes still got a lot of low self esteem and internalized stuff going on, not in a constantly sad way but like he’ll be the type to think ‘man i wish *I* could marry my best friend! too bad im straight haha’ or like when theyre teens he kisses cody and has a crisis over liking it before thinking ‘wait! what am i worrying about! codys gay, yeah, so maybe it meant something to him, but im not gay so that means i dont have anything to worry about. i should focus on supporting my good friend. its totally cool if he kisses me because im straight so its like a pass!’ he is wrong and he is gay

- whenever i write izjo its always bi. if anything their bisexuality makes a bigger spectacle out of how they like an opposing gender rather than liking their own which i always get a huge kick out of bc its as if i got so accustomed to being around gay people irl and online that sga became the norm and i had to remind myself that mf couples exist and its an option and its okay. there are a couple works ive never posted where this is actually like THE central theme

- i joke bc i like making fun of izjo but from testimonies/talks/essays ive heard/watched/read this is actually a very common experience among bi ppl

- like when ur young and just learning how to exist and be confident as an lgbt person and taking such wild pride and comfort in your sga that u forget your oga. maybe even feel a little weird about it. confusion and nervousness. dare i say shame.

- im flipping the script…… of COURSE youre gay what are you TALKING about… what youre going to feel confused repressed nervous and weirdly guilty over is liking a BOY. or like yes son we know you like boys we live in mayview. but youve never liked a girl before and you dont know how to and it terrifies you. and then sometimes it has absolutely no significance at all and it’s just normal. again it depends on the themes and what i want to get out of my brain. that post thats like ‘no gay pairing written by a straight person will ever be as unhinged as a straight pairing written by a gay person’ etc. is it bc i want to write a casual+ comfortable gay existence bc ive seen so many bad u happy ones? is it bc i enjoy exploring societal dynamics by reframing them in the perceived norm? is it yuri? is it yuri.

- i just reread the phrase ‘youve never liked a girl before and you dont know how to and it terrifies you’ and im thinking i made it yuri. is johnny my puppet. have i been using johnny as a puppet this whole time to work out my feelings towards liking women. izjo is bi because i write johnny like a gay girl who just happens to just be a boy.

- i got distracted anyway spender is meterosexual

#paranatural #this is probably so not what you wanted im sorry #asks #anon #anyway im going to sleep. night ✌️

[k-s-morgan]

TW: Honest (bit harsh) opinion about Tomarry fanfics!

Do you mind if I rant a little Kat? I'm currently in the hunt of good Tomarry fanfics (all 7k of them on ao3: slash and no fem!Harry for now), and honestly a lot of what I read, even some that are popular (10k+ Kudos...) are just BAD. A lot LOT LOOOOT of writers just don't know how to frame Tom/Voldemort's character with all his flaws, personality disorders, qualities, wits and charisma... Seriously, it's borderline cringy sometimes, especially the kid/teenager Tom in the time-travel tropes or the redeemed Voldemort who is suddenly a do-no-wrong! I cannot stand it as a picky reader. I appreciate their dedication and effort, I also have some fanfic ideas that I would love to write but I still won't allow myself to until I study psychology, personality disorders and even child development in depth so that i put out quality content. Isn't research part of the writing process? Only a handful (for now) have managed to really nail the darkness of Tom/VM and twisted romance (about 7 including you). I know I will be told "don't read them then", but this is just my opinion feel free to disagree.

No problems, rants are always welcome!)) I understand what you mean. I’m a picky reader myself, and in most fandoms, I don’t like the majority of even the most top-rated stories. Just, they don’t work for me at all.

In the end, though, I think it comes down to our subjective preferences as readers vs. writers’ motivation for writing something. Every reader is going to look for something specific. Like you, I favor darker, more canonical versions of Tom, and when I encounter his innocent depictions, in most cases, I reject them. At the same time, despite not liking good!Tom, I love dark!Harry a lot. There is no logic here because dark!Harry goes against canon as much as good!Tom does, yet I love the former and dislike the latter. Many people hate both; others love both. It’s difficult to understand why this happens, it’s just how it is. In my other fandom, Shadowhunters, both protagonists are good. I can read about a dark version of MC1 (Magnus) but not the other (Alec). No idea why. 

Similarly, writers treat writing in very different ways. Some strive to create canon-compliant narratives with perfectly canonical characters; others prefer complete AUs rooted in research; many writers simply want to have fun. They don’t care about realism or canon or historical accuracy, they just share their ideas and enjoy the process. Research can be a part of fanfiction, but it’s not obligatory - fics aim to bring joy and provide entertainment. I’m sure that for absolutely every fic, there is at least one person who is going to love it. 

Love, I think, is the main motivator for writers. They are passionate about characters, they want to share their dramas, joy, porn without plot, humor, etc., and so they do it - just because they want to. If they loved writing their story, whatever it is, it’s already rewarding. 

For instance, maybe someone wanted to redeem Tom or Voldemort as soon as possible - this was their major goal for writing because they liked the idea, related to Tom on a personal level & wanted to explore this hope for a quick redemption, were simply bored or curious about this kind of plot. People also have different perceptions: for example, sometimes I read a story about a serious argument between the characters and I feel like it was resolved too unbelievably quickly. I grow frustrated, go to see what other people said, and discover that mostly everyone loved the resolution and felt it was realistic. 

WHGTB is similar in this regard. Some people side with Tom; some side with Harry. Whatever the resolution is in the last chapter, I have no doubts there will be those who’ll hate it. Some will think it’s unfair to Tom; others will think it’s unfair to Harry or to both or to the story as a whole. I actually saw someone discuss how Tom became too good and they lost interest in reading - but there are other people who think Tom remains a monster. There are no writers or readers with wrong positions in these scenarios, people just perceive things very differently from one another.  

Of course, some stories are written with more skills than others - age and experience can play big roles here. I’m embarrassed of many things I wrote in the past, but at the time, I thought they were pretty great :D As readers, we can’t automatically know who wrote what and why, but all stories have their audience. It’s unfortunate to be unable to find enough fics I specifically would like - I probably like 1 fic in every 10 I read, but I’m grateful for the ones I do enjoy, and there is always writing. It’s so gratifying to write and express my vision. Besides, every writer contributes to the extended life of their fandom, whether they have a wide or small circle of readers. 

I hope you’ll start writing when you feel like it and that the process will bring you a lot of joy, too! Writing can be pure magic.  

#my fics #fanfiction #tomarry

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

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172. The Delicious Death by Kayla Cottingham--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

THIS DELICIOUS DEATH fell more prominently into my TBR list because of a friend who read it and made it look like a really good and bloody time. She wasn't wrong!

I was so surprised by this one (mainly because I took a bite out of it without reading the synopsis first), so I was thoroughly entertained. I didn't know how normalized the horrors of this book were, so that was a unique and fun reveal. I think it was such a good exploration of how the world treats people that don't fit into the "typical" human category. The fear and the exclusionary actions of some of the characters were very on the nose when we think about today's society.

I enjoyed the twists and turns and how these girls fought to save each other and others like them. They didn't depend on men to help them--they were total bad asses. They were just a little hungrier than most badasses, and you know what? That's perfectly fine.

I also find it strangely timely (for when I read it) that these catastrophic events take place during a huge musical festival when the events of Burning Man were happening. It was an interesting and totally coincidental line up of events.

Also, love, LOVE the romance in this and how diverse it was. And the flashbacks, although sometimes a pet peeve for me, really helped me understand why some of the characters were the way they were.

Finally, this book really made me think of GIRLS SAVE THE WORLD IN THIS ONE by Ash Parsons. If you enjoy this one as much as I did, I think you'll enjoy that one!

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173. Stiff by Mary Roach--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I was really excited to read this one because I've heard really good things about Mary Roach. And while I DID enjoy this for the most part, it got to a certain point where I kind of just wanted it to end.

The first half was really interesting. It was morbid, but I've never been too squeamish when it comes to the topic. We are all temporarily in these bodies and when we leave, our bodies are left behind. So, learning what we can learn from those bodies and how they're treated was fascinating. There was humour thrown in there to break up the dark tension and I really appreciated it. There was also a lot of historical research about grave digging and how certain practices have been adopted over the years.

But then the second half started and I just...I'll admit, my attention started to turn away from Roach's words and my interest started to wane. Just goes to show that even though these topics have always made me wish I had more aptitude for the sciences, my attention would never linger long enough to fulfill such fanciful futures LOL.

Anyway, this was good overall--even with that latter half (for me). I think this is a great Autumn read. You get to learn some neat stuff and get the sometimes creepy forthrightness of science.

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174. Fall of Ruin & Wrath by Jennifer L. Armentrout--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I received a copy of this book from the publisher because I interviewed the author for Indigo on Instagram. This did not affect my review in any way.

I usually read books like this one as audiobooks because my attention strays so much now that I'm older. So, I was a little wary because I had to read this by a deadline AND I had to read the physical copy. I was so happy to see how easily the story pulled me in and how addicted I was to the story.

I loved the main character and her energy--it gave me huge flashbacks to when I read Armentrout's books in the past and how addicted I was to them. There's just something always so compelling and addicting about her writing. I especially loved how the MC spoke her mind and was honest with herself about what she wanted and needed to survive.

When the love interest came in, I was even more hooked. I LOVED the sexual tension and how he was so unapologetically himself. Listen, I have acknowledged that what would normally be red flags in real life are very green flags (sometimes) in books like this one because, sigh. This love interest can get it.

There were other pretty cool things about this book, like how we learn about why the world is the way it is and the power of the natural world around the characters. I also felt like the story, even though it's mainly set in one place, was so compellingly written that it didn't need too much complication settings-wise.

My one complaint is the over-use of the ellipsis punctuation. The story was great, but some pages had at least two instances of...the character...talking...like...this...or describing...describing something...something like this. For me, it ruined the flow of writing and even if the scene happening was a serious or emotionally-charged one, I was taken right out and found myself giggling at yet another ellipsis.

My biggest way of recommending this book for reluctant readers is that it very much gave me SJM vibes, so if you're a fan of her fantasy romance books, then you might like this. I had a lot of fun and the spicy moments were very, very fun.

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175. The Stranger by K.A. Applegate--⭐️⭐️⭐️

While I found this instalment to be one of my least favourites, I DO see the importance of it.

THE STRANGER is a perfect example of how these are just kids who are fighting a nearly impossible war. They are given the opportunity to either stop what they're doing, or keep going and honestly, what do you think you'd do if given that opportunity?

As the story progresses and the stakes rise, we are constantly being reminded that these are kids.

I'm still incredibly excited to keep seeing where this series takes me. The books are short, but they pack some pretty great messages.

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176. Go Down Hard by Ali Seay--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

My friends have read and loved this book and I can completely see why.

This book was so much fun. I know that this is horror, but I was so entertained by the one-liners and the comedic timing. Also, what are the chances of a woman serial killer moving in next door to a men who is also a serial killer?

I also loved how he eventually showcases why she is the way she is and that despite all the stoicism and the mask some people wear, people like him are all the same in the end. The cat and mouse game between the two characters really emphasized this point and made it even more entertaining to me, as a woman.

I highly recommend this one for those who want to read horror novellas, but are wary of gory horror. Yes, there is murder, but the social commentary and icky factor of this man makes this book more than worthy enough for the horror category!

Also, not to mention how ADDICTING this book was. I had to put the book down because I had to get up early the next day. So worth the sleepless night, though.

Never have I rooted for a serial killer before. Oop.

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177. Landbridge by Y-Dang Troeung--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was one of the more creative memoirs I've had the pleasure of reading. The text was full of photography and was cut into, as the title describes, fragments. It was incredibly readable and I enjoyed learning more about the heartbreaking history of Cambodia, and the reality of life as an immigrant in Canada in the '80s.

I think, however, that my absolute favourite part of this text (as heartbreaking as it is) were the letters Troeung wrote for her son. They were moments and thoughts captured in time that he can one day look back on whenever he thinks of his mother. While the rest of the text had really important experiences and histories retold, even personal experiences, it was these snippets that capture my heart.

The author's story is heartbreaking and that dedication at the end broke me, especially knowing just how important those letters will now be to her son.

I highly recommend "Landbridge" for anyone who enjoys reading immigrant memoirs and for those who want to open their world up a little more. Not only does this explore the grief one might experience over a country your family had to leave, but you will be a part of the living grief the author shared with the reader in the letters for her son. Gorgeous and heart shattering.

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178. The Murders of Molly Southbourne by Tade Thompson--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I LOVED this one. The writing, off the bat, was incredibly compelling and addicting. It felt beautiful and full of so many things I wanted to highlight. The story idea is so unique and had some genuinely terrifying moments.

What would you do if your blood was enough to create clones of you almost instantly--murderous clones that hated you?

There were searing moments of sadness where I grieved with the mc, and moments where I laughed until tears came to my eyes because she's so socially awkward.

This being a novella also made this a super quick and addicting read.

Immediately ordered the next two books and will hopefully read them soon!

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179. Dead to the World by Charlaine Harris--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Re-read in September 2023-

Oh Eric, the things that happen to you. I was a little wary going back into this one because I vaguely remembered what happened with Eric, but I was happily surprised and thoroughly entertained. For once, Sookie got to have a hot girl summer moment with the vampire. Screw Bill.

We get to meet a character in this one who will also change Sookie's life forever and I'm exciting to re-explore that world with her. This is where the story starts to truly get more and more fun!

Also, I was hella looking forward to that conclusion. Iykyk.

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Have you read any of these books? Let me know your thoughts!

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Happy reading!

#book review #book reviews #reviewer #reviews #my opinion #my writing #Features #on reading #on books #book list #book blog #book blogger #book lover #book addict #bookworm #bookaholic #bibliophile #long text post

[inlocusmads]

2,5,6,8,25,27,96 for Trystan and Nora :)

oc relationship asks masterlist

2. Who is the one who fusses the most? Does their S/O mind very much?

Trystan lmfao.

Nora's like "I have dealt with so much shit, nothing fazes me anymore." Honestly she doesn't mind Trystan's miniscule rants about the porosity of a bagel or the concentration of lemony scent in a box of detergent. In fact, he's just so articulate and clever with his fusses that Nora welcomes it. Honestly, she just likes hearing him talk and his voice, anyway.

5. What is something they like to do together?

They've kind of started exploring each other's interests. Trystan enjoys watching survivalist reality TV with her because he gives his own ESPN commentary which makes Nora laugh. They watch films sometimes, talking about its themes late into the night. Nora got into crosswording after Trystan roped her into it. They also enjoy, like fixing things and filing things, cooking - just random mundane day-to-day activities.

What started as a "I'm doing it for the company of a partner" turned into like, massively obsessive interests. Nora learned she liked Sudoku better than crosswords and found a new interest in aircraft spotting. Trystan discovered he is actually good at soccer (even though he insists on calling it 'football') and picked up a few tricks (which unfortunately came at the expense of breaking a few windows) and got into card games - which spiralled into an interest in card tricks and sleight of hand.

It's like, they'll get into something, they'll introduce each other to it, they'll get into whatever the other's into and just, do their own thing until something happens and one thing leads to another and the cycle repeats over again.

6. Who would ask the "would you love me if I were a worm?"

I think neither of them would actually know. It'd randomly pop up in a conversation, they'd get all meta about it and there's that.

It's Nora. Definitely her. She does it to mess with Trys out of sheer boredom. Then they talk about something completely different before Trystan derails it with a flirtatious comment and Nora's like "dude. it's about the momentum." and cannot get it out of her head for the entirety of that day.

8. Who is the big spoon? Little spoon?

Answered here. TL;DR: Both of them.

25. Do they have any pet names for one another?

Oh yes of course. Except they are more of a spur of a moment thing and just forgotten later on. Trystan sticks to calling her 'detective'. It's sometimes used endearingly, sometimes used in a 'tch-tch' way.

Nora cannot stick to one name. She goes with 'Trys' for a while, then switching to 'yeah yeah, stranger on the road, what about it' to purposefully mispronouncing his name because she's a bastard like that. (Inclusive but not limited to - 'Try-STAN', 'Tryst-ahn', 'Triz', 'Trix', 'Tim' and whatever she wants to smush between two vowels or two consonants.)

27. Who tends to drive on long journeys? Who navigates?

Nora drives usually. Mostly because Trystan's the type of person to go 'yolo mfers' and hit the accelerator until it reaches 140 kmph.

Besides, Trystan's better at navigation anyway. He's a lot more calm, while Nora on the map would be like, "NO NO RIGHT, WRONG RIGHT WRONG RIGHT, DUDE HIT THE BRAKES, DUDE - YOU'RE GOING LIKE, FIFTY STEPS IN THE WRONG DIRECTION!" when Trystan wouldn't have even started the car.

96. Who reads the newspaper? Who wants to see the cartoons?

Trystan reads the newspaper. Nora flips it to the page with the comics on it. She'd also have a pencil to do some Sudoku and share some fun fact in the trivia section.

It's cause, Trystan's just endlessly fascinated with just the most obscure, oddly specific reports that are written in local newspapers. And his knowledge comes in handy too, when they're working cases and he draws connections from what he's read in the papers. The sudoku and trivia section help Nora remember random bits of information that sort of trains her memory, so she doesn't have to depend overly on her pocket notebook and write every detail she ever comes across.

Thank you so much for asking! They were so fun!

#oc relationship asks #askboxed! #stars-are-within-me