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#bc this is all that i can do with 4 hours of sleep and having worked all day
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happy mother's day lmfao
bonus (the girls are fightiiing):
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beanghostprincess · 4 months
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Sanuso Childhood Best Friends AU in which Sanji ends up in Syrup Village because the Orbit has to stop there for a while. They send little Sanji to buy food on his own with a bit of money (or, just, do whatever until he has to meet the crew again. They're a bit careless with the kid) and he meets Usopp when he sees the younger kid trying to steal food from the market. Usopp gets caught easily and the stand owner tells him to go away. Usopp replies with something along the lines of "If you don't give food to the great captain Usopp I will just send all my allies to destroy your business!!!" but it doesn't work (quite obviously) and the guy just ignores him. That just makes Usopp start begging because he doesn't have the money to buy anything and he doesn't want to go to Kaya's again. Besides, he doesn't want to go to the people who usually help him out because it's embarrassing and he doesn't want them to know. It's better to just either steal from this guy or beg. That makes 9 y/o Sanji's heart ignite with a passion and strength he didn't know he had inside, and he approaches the kid, staring intensely into the man's eyes and saying (with the angriest voice a 9 y/o can make) "Food exists to help the ones who're hungry!! You don't deserve this job!!" and the man stares down at him (Sanji's literally shaking, poor boy) saying that food is business and nothing else. And if he doesn't have anything to buy it with, he can go fuck off along with little long-nose. Usopp is amazed by Sanji's bravery and heroic behavior. Sanji hands him some beris, starts listing some stuff he has on display, and buys it. The man just has to give him the stuff, after all, but once he does he looks at Sanji like he's about to murder the kid. Despite being visibly shaking, little Sanji turns around at Usopp, his tiny hands being barely enough to grab everything he's carrying. So Usopp helps him, and they get out of there as quickly as they can once the man starts shouting at them.
They run for a while until they end up finally far enough to not see the man. Usopp is catching his breath when he turns to Sanji. "That was great! I- I could've handled it on my own, of course, the guy was super afraid of me, but-" And then Sanji just- He starts crying so damn loud. Usopp is completely lost as to why he's the one crying, but Sanji is literally shaking like a leaf and Usopp doesn't know what to do. "What's wrong?! I- Did- Did he hurt you or-"
"It was so scary!!" He holds the food tighter to his chest and tries to hold back the tears. "And- And he was so loud- I- Why were you arguing with him, dummy?!"
Usopp is, uh, a bit confused by the change of tone and meaning behind the kid's words. But he keeps crying and crying and shaking and Usopp can't help but feel awfully lost. "And why did you come to help? I had everything under control, you know?!" He really didn't.
"Because I-" He tries to wipe the tears away but they just keep on falling. "I'm a cook. I don't like it when people treat food like this. Especially when people are hungry." That catches Usopp a bit off guard, Sanji calming down for a few seconds before the crying starts again. He really tries hard not to cry. Like a man, or whatever. But his lower lip is betraying him. "He was so loud." Usopp really, really wants to do something to help, but right when Sanji says this, somebody riding a bicycle passes right behind Sanji, so close and loudly it makes him jump and sob harder. He makes himself even smaller. "Make it stop!" And so, of course, Usopp, as the hero of the village and bravest pirate and warrior of the seas, he takes Sanji's hand and leads him somewhere the older kid can't see because he refuses to open his eyes. But Sanji asks anyway, with the softest and smallest voice ever. "Where are we going?"
Usopp squeezes his hand. "You're a cook, right?" He turns his head around to Sanji, but doesn't stop walking. A huge grin shows up on his face when he sees the kid nodding. "Then you're gonna have the privilege to cook for the great Captain Usopp!"
And-
Usopp swears to this day that he will never forget Sanji's laughter at that moment. "A captain?" And it's like all his worries suddenly faded away with the simplest of lies. Usopp doesn't know if he's being genuine or if he's making fun of him, but the kid's smile makes his hands sweat. "Then I better make a meal worth of a king!"
Long story short, Usopp takes Sanji to his home and lets him cook in his very lonely and depressing kitchen. While the kid works, Usopp can't help but stare at him with impressed eyes. Sanji, on the other hand, has never felt such a rush when cooking for somebody. Not ever since- ... Mom. They talk about that too. They learn everything about each other. Usopp tells Sanji about his dad being a pirate and his mom passing away not long ago. He tells him about how the village and his best friend Kaya help him out most of the time, but he refuses to keep being so dependent on them, even if he has to beg strangers. He tells him about all of the adventures he's had and how people call him a liar out of jealousy. Sanji often believes what the kid says, being the naive kid he is, but he's smart enough to always think twice and realize that, okay, Usopp's stories might not be true, but if they make him happy, then they make Sanji happy too! If his dreams are told in the form of lies, it's kind of like Sanji's wish to find the All Blue. And so he tells Usopp all of that too. He skips the whole, um, family thing to talk about his dream. He tells Usopp about wanting to be a cook because of his ill mom (something they have in common!!). He tells him about his abilities in the kitchen! He keeps saying he'll be the best cook in the east blue!
It's nice having a friend. Usopp thinks Sanji looks really young for being two years older than him, and Sanji complains about Usopp being taller when he's younger. But it's nice, after all, to be with somebody who doesn't want to take anything from you.
Sanji's food is surprisingly good for a kid his age, and he's really glad Usopp likes it because he's been practicing for a whole year with the crew! Even if he makes the simplest of dishes, he's really proud of himself when Usopp won't stop praising him!
One thing leads to another, and when Sanji's crew finds him, they tell him they have to stay for a long while because their ship needs repairing and it's pretty grave. Sanji wishes he could say he's disappointed and sad, but he looks behind him at Usopp, and it kind of feels exciting to stay.
So they grow closer.
Sanji is always going back and forth between his ship and Usopp's home, but he barely spends time with his crew the days he stays in Syrup Village. Most of the time he even sleeps with his new friend! Sanji cooks for him and borrows money for them to buy the ingredients, explaining to Usopp everything that is to know about them. Usopp, on the other hand, is awesome at fishing, so they spend whole days at the beach trying to catch their food. It's the most fun they've ever had in their life. Usopp stops feeling lonely, and Sanji finally finds somebody who loves him for who he is. Usopp shows him beetles and insects and finds out that they make Sanji cry... He isn't proud of this, but sometimes (only sometimes) he places bugs on Sanji's way so he can save him. Sanji calls him his hero with the shiniest of looks, and Usopp just- He feels really warm inside. Sanji is always going to his crew to ask them about new recipes and things to learn while they're there, and he always makes them for Usopp because every praise about his food goes directly to his heart. They just keep on enjoying each other's company and many talents. Usopp even introduces him to Kaya! She's the cutest girl Sanji has ever met (not that he has ever met other girls besides his sister) and he's a bit jealous because it's obvious she likes Usopp, the guy just doesn't notice! If little Sanji isn't sure of who he's jealous of, that's something he refuses to think about.
"We're best friends." Sanji once says.
That gives Usopp the courage to respond with: "Then, when I become the bravest pirate of them all, you'll be my cook! You- You will, right?"
"Of course!" Sanji doesn't think he has ever smiled this much in the short period of time he has been alive. "Captain Usopp and the best cook in the East Blue- No! In all the seas!"
Loneliness is a word that now feels foreign to them.
But then, of course, Sanji has to go.
They promise to see each other again. They will, someday.
Sanji asks Usopp to come with them, though, but Usopp refuses.
"Come with me, Usopp! It's your chance to become a pirate!" (Don't let me go).
"I- I'm already a pirate, Sanji! Did you forget? I need to stay to protect this village from any harm and evil pirates that aren't like me!" (I'm so scared that not even wanting to go with you helps my legs move).
"But you said I'd be your cook!" (You promised).
"You'll always be my cook! And I'll always be your-"
"What kind of captain lets his cook go?!" Sanji yells, but he's the one crying the most.
"Sanji! Please! I- I'll do it. I'll sail someday and we'll see each other and we will be together but- But not now." The shame in Usopp's voice is obvious, and he can't tell lies from promises anymore.
"But I- What if-"
"I'll find you. The sea will bring me to you, don't worry! I told you I'm so good at fishing because I can speak their language, right? I'll just- I'll just send you messages through the sea! Just talk to the fishes and they'll tell you all you need to know. I'll always be with you!"
That, at least, makes Sanji laugh. "Liar. I know you can't speak-"
"But I'm not lying when I say we'll see each other again! Really! Believe in me!"
And Sanji has no other option but to believe.
Usopp tries to live years and years without regretting his decision that day, failing miserably. And Sanji keeps trying to talk to fishes even if he knows it won't work. He even asks some of them to save him (to tell Usopp they might not see each other again, at least) when he's stuck at that damn rock with Zeff, but they don't do anything. They don't even talk back at him. But he keeps believing for a while.
Until someday a gorgeous pirate asks him: "You're not in any crew, right?" Because she apparently wants him to go with her. And he would. He really would. But he owes too much to Zeff. So much he can't give it up. Not even for a girl, even if it hurts.
Her question is more painful than denying her the pleasure of being her cook, though. Because he has to respond with: "Huh? I- No. Had a captain once, though... Not that it matters now. Just- Not anymore."
When Luffy asks Usopp to come with him, he can see the shape of their long-lost best friend in Kaya's eyes. She always knew there was more between them than what they wanted to admit, but then again, they were just kids, so she couldn't really know at the time. Usopp hates having found out so late about it, but now this is a chance he won't waste. He can accomplish his dream and fulfill his promise at the same time!
And they do find each other, earlier than Usopp was actually ready for. Sanji drops a glass of wine when he sees him. Usopp basically trips and falls over the table and makes Zoro's food fall on his lap. Sanji's eyes never move away from him.
There's a long silence and a few weird looks being shared between the rest of the crew, but Usopp can't help but smile. He's extremely scared of what Sanji might say.
"I told you I'd find you, didn't I?" He tries to sound confident, but his voice falters.
Sanji can't stop smiling. "Took you long enough, captain."
Nami almost chokes on her food. "CAPTAIN?!" And the other two share the same startled expression.
But Usopp doesn't look at them. He's still over the table. It definitely looks ridiculous. "You- You're taller."
"And your hand is ruining my Quiche Lorraine." Sanji groans. "Could you not-"
"I'm sorry! I- I'm sorry. But don't speak to your captain like that!"
Nami interrupts him. "I thought you were lying when you talked about this guy!"
Oh. So he has talked about me. Sanji pretends he isn't forcing his heart to slow down.
So he just smirks at the redhead. "To be fair, madame, even if he tends to lie a lot-"
Nami rolls his eyes. "No shit, I figured."
But Sanji keeps going looking at Usopp. "Even if he does, he also keeps his promises."
By the way, you have to imagine them like this:
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skitskatdacat63 · 8 months
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I drew all of my historical AU Sebs!!!!
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In order they are(with relevant links to lore info if you are curious!!): Napoleonic Hussar Seb(x), Renaissance Muse Seb(x) and Boy King/Emperor Seb(x)
Let me know which you like best!!!
#oh my fucking god this was truly the endurance race of drawing sessions#i just drew for four hours straight or so......FUN!#and it is now almost 5 am on a school night so pls wish me luck in school haha#basically this spawned from me seeing if i could sketch all 3 of my Sebs easily and then whoops 4 hours later they are finished!#i think now i can draw the hussar uniform with my eyes closed. it was so comforting to draw honestly ;;;;#this is actually the first time ive drawn boy king seb with colors!! so i think it turned out pretty well?#hey guys do you notice what all of the Sebs have in common...? they all have a gold motif...GOLDEN BOY CODED!!!#anyways i think the most developed of these AUs is boy king seb which is funny bcs its the one ive created most recently#but gaahhhhhh ive done so much research and im literally brainrotting over it constantly#now i need to draw fernando in his 3 AUs hahaha but drwing Seb is sooooo much more easy/comfy for me#did you guys also notice i have a fondness for a specific seb hairstyle? malaysia 2010 my truly beloved youve served me so well#i mentioned this already but like i dont get how drawing these kinds of clothing is far more preferable to me than drawing racesuits#well anyways i have so much fun researching into these different eras!! and then very fun to mix it with the drivers#im very surprised i was able to draw this. im not usually able to draw good chibi anatomy#but like seriously i think i was posessed by my thoughts of boy king seb and i just couldnt stop drawing#in didnt really have any mental roadblocks which is surprising#but then again these drawings are me mixing my two major interests atm so ofc it'll come to me easily and make me passionate!!#anyways time to go sleep pwease dont let this flop my hands literally are overheated from drawing LMFAO#catie.art.#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#f1 fanart#formula 1 art#formula 1 fanart#f1 art#boy king au#renaissance muse au#hussar au
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fluentisonus · 20 days
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working full time with normal hours has convinced me more than ever that actually high school Could have been a sane & even enjoyable time for me if it weren't for the homework. sick & twisted tbh
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seventh-district · 7 months
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it’s finally getting cold enough that i can bring my cardigan collection back into rotation without feeling like i’m gonna melt into a puddle the second i step outside!!!
#Seven.txt#my face#i have rematerialized back out of the void to once again make my once-in-a-blue-moon selfie & life update post#i’m running on 4 hours of restless sleep and the single banana i ate for lunch earlier today. let’s do this#hrrrrg i hate the lighting in my bathroom but i refuse to take pictures in the absolute Mental Illness Disaster Zone™️ that is my bedroom#anyways. got diagnosed with Mystery Pain Syndrome at the dentist today. so now i take ✨steroids✨#the less funny explanation is that my tooth still hurts with pressure nearly a month post-root canal and That’s Not Good#so we’re trying some new medications to see if that fixes it. and if not then who knows. root canal pt.2 the sequel. or extraction. sigh#and so the Dental Saga continues. todays visit went quite well in spite of the unforeseen mystery pain delaying the tooth-shaving plans#we had some time to kill so he managed to fill some of my other tiny cavities while i was there today so that’s good#okay moving on. what else. uhh. OH they finally came out and ran the fiber to the house last week!!! now i’m just waiting on one more-#-guy to come and finish the interior install and the long awaited fast internet will finally be mine eheheheheeeee#now i can feel my hours upon hours of unedited gameplay footage breathing down my neck :)#man i’ve got so much stuff piled up right now. i’m drowning in Tasks and it’s a lil overwhelming but i’ll handle it all! eventually#uhhhhm my current writing project is coming along well! i’ve never put so much time and effort into a oneshot before in my life#its a labor of love though and i think i’m gonna be really proud of myself (and the fic) once it’s complete#even if no one reads it bc it’s so goddamn self indulgent and kinda lowkey throws canon out the window but like. fuck it!#if i want Astarion to write a song on piano and perform it for me while mentally taking me on a trip down memory lane. then so be it#fr though i’ve never written anything quite like this and i rlly want to do it justice. even if its unrealistic i still want it to be Good#in other news i received word that one of the chickens i sponsor at my local Gentle Barn has passed away so i had a lil cry abt that#i feel so bad for his little tiny chicken wife. they obviously loved each other and it’s like. so sad when one half of an old couple dies#like. she pulled him out of his depression after his 1st wife died. now who’s gonna be there to pull Her out…#anyways let’s not get all sad about that again. in happier news my cat who i presumed died/got killed has returned home uninjured!!!#after that huge stray dog chased her into the woods i thought we’d never find or see her again#but then the morning after i started grieving her she showed back up hungry as hell yet completely unharmed like the enigma that she is#so that’s one definite highlight from earlier this month. uhh what else. rapid fire summary of the past few weeks let’s go-#Jersey turned 10! Bullet turned 10! my 6 year Veganniversary happened! i’m approaching 700 days on DuoLingo!#i’ve written more than 20 thousand words! i’ve been facing some fears! fighting my OCD! taking care of myself! (kinda!)#anyways things are far from being all sunshine and roses around here but i’m trying to focus on the good stuff for the most part#for now tho i have a headache and have reached 30 tags so it’s time to go shovel some mashed potatoes into my mouth :)
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deus-ex-mona · 7 months
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it sure has been quite a week
#g o d this week was such a mess™️#i kicked off the week wrong (as always) with ~3h of sleep bc i can never fall asleep on monday nights (sadge)#and ofc i had to do 2 workstations’ worth of work bc lack of manpower lmao#then on tuesday i had yet another family dinner to say goodbye to my bro (lol)#even though he’d already been treated to at least 3 other meals by that point (lmao)#i still think my dinner treat from a few weeks back was the best though~~~~~~ a 4 course sky dining meal def tops any restaurant right~~~~~?#and on suiyoubi (my dudes) we boated him off to military training island for his mandatory enlistment. that sure was. an experience.#i still kinda regret finishing my meal at the military cafeteria place thing though… i was the only one at the table who finished it :(#even my big eater of a bro couldn’t finish his :(#and my mother has been making fun of me for finishing the (allegedly) huge portioned meal ever since :(#she keeps joking about enlisting me bc army food ✨clearly✨ suits my tastes :( ​truly sadded.#anyways it was back to work on thursday. which sucked. ofc. also bc i’d overslept by half an hour and had to rush. lmao.#anddddd on friday. my boss told me that i’d missed out on submitting one worksheet thing of results#even though i c l e a r l y remember doing the test it was for (and organising all of the worksheet things for the matter)#so my coworker and i just watched her sift through the stack of worksheets… only for her to actually find the ‘missing’ piece of paper#she then said ‘ok found it sorry’ so my coworker and i just went ‘(ʘ‿ʘ) okayyyyyyyyyy’ p. sarcastically and left her office#and ofccccc there was work on saturday too. yay. went to the pkm centre after that thoughhhh#which was fun yes. but. they didn’t have ✨c h a i r d e o x y s✨ on sale :(((((#they stopped selling goomy earrings and that huge plush too :( and the smaller goomy plushies for the matter :((((#i realllyyy should’ve bought the goomy earrings while they were still available… even though they were like 8 bucks per stud#my goomy plushie collection remains unexpanded :( my jigglypuff collection grew by 1 though~~~~#so now i have 3 official jigglies of varying sizes and 1 bootleg jiggly that looks. pretty horrifying in bad lighting actually#p. sadded by how my family calls my taste in pkm boring though… ‘it’s either jigglypuff or that purple thing’ they say… :((((#aaaaaa i wish i could’ve bought that super cute plush of goodra holding a happily smiling goomy i saw on my trip…#it’s too bad that the plushies (there were like 2-3 of them) were locked inside a display cabinet :(((( it was so cuteeeeeeeee#though my fam would’ve made me put it back if i’d even managed to get it out back then lol. ‘that purple thing again?!’ they’d prolly say…#anyways. this sure was a week. im so tired. help#no clue how i should spend the rest of my night tbh… maybe beach sisters time? hmmmmmm. oh wells.#‘dai’ly shitpost of the day
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roses-and-tears · 2 months
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.
#I have spent. 8 almost 9 hours resetting my laptop. I chose the option to keep all my files but uninstall apps. and it has been restarting#and installing for almost 9 hours. yeah I get that the process will be long. but ffs#I have been bored the past few hours so I watched the smile movie bc I got reminded of it yesterday#it was pretty bad. the couple gorey scenes towards the end were nice but some of the acting and writing was just terrible#I was also hoping the movie would’ve taken a different turn. I think it would’ve made it more.. idk. I can’t think of the right term.-#-it just would’ve made it better I think.#I’ve also eaten a lot today. more than I usually do. more than I have in months and years and im upset about that. im already bloated.#I hope I don’t work tomorrow. I have to call in in the morning to check. and I don’t mind working but rn I just kind of want to spend the#day relaxing#I’ve spent almost 9 hours on this resetting part. and 4 extra hours trying to simply repair it in restarts#I also need to clean up my room. a lot of it. and clean my pets cage. it’s ant season now and im really stressed about that#the smell of sharpie returns and I am just. overwhelmed. I have 3 days to prepare for my special week long activity and im not happy about-#-that.#I also had some feelings earlier that im stressed over too.#im being vague about that bc i just don’t want to go off about that to everyone#im tired and overwhelmed i just want my laptop to finish resetting so i can stop fretting about this. i want to sleep#im tired. of so much#to delete later
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futureghost97 · 5 months
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>:( see tags
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lovelyisadora · 3 months
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it isn’t the end of the semester but i’m already having my end of the semester breakdown oh my GOD I am going to have a heart attack. sprite save me
#nothing is done!! not my applications not my interviews etc#I am running out of time to graduate in June and I could just graduate in august but then I have to admit to my family that I fucked up bad#it takes 3-6 weeks to get IRB approval I need to step on it#it’ll take at least 4 for my paid leave forms for work to go through and I don’t know if it’ll get approved#and if it does when do my benefits start#I feel like an idiot where those forms are concerned because it needs an occupation code and I don’t know if it’s specific#or if I can just select the one that best matches my job description and I can’t find that info anywhere#my body is literally shutting down I have two golf ball sized tumors and I can’t get out of bed but I can’t sleep#my car is kaputt and I have to call several different shops to get it seen because the one I took it to couldn’t fix it#and is any of it worth it!! is any of it!!#I cried for like three hours today bc I tried to talk to my mom about it and. well. she was very much a mom about it and not helpful#like yeah! obviously I want to graduate in June! but my research isn’t even approved because I haven’t been able to get myself#to complete the application for the last six months! Jesus Christ!#I can’t sleep and I’m so tired I’m so so tired my brain just straight up isn’t working!#I swear to god if I finally meet with my advisor and he does his well you don’t seem to need my help bullshit again#I’m gonna actually snap and kill him#anyway. need to do three things by end of Wednesday. just three things#clean. irb. and paid leave. that’s it that’s all.#it’s what I’ve tried to do the last four days and I’ve accomplished none of it but. Jesus Christ it’s gotta get done#FOUR THINGS I have to call the shop to get an estimate for a car I’m not even going to bother to fix#ok vent session over#delete later#fkdjdjshhaa im a MESS#sprite save me 😭#save me sprite. save me
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#feelin weird. feelin real weird. in a bad way? no i guess not but more like im a haha wtf is happening here?#like i should maybe track my mood just so i can be like wtf is this? more bc i think its interesting#bc like i mean im spending ~11hrs in the lab and the stress has been real high and ive not been sleeping well#but like currently? i feel like i wanna run a mile. like i wanna run around in circles and scream and laugh until i cry#too much energy. too much energy. but y? where is it coming from? its weird#its like the edge of a headache. the cusp of turning. it doesn't quite feel bad yet but like i woke up at 4#and was insane until 6 when i had to get up and then i was in the lab all day until 6.30#and immediately i went for a run like empty stomach. i need to run now. and i still feel like that. like i need to run and run and run#but like y am i not exhausted? im not even tired? im vibrating#i watched the new successi0n episode twice and im losing my mind abt it#so its weird and i dont understand. but its not bad. it feels out of control like it feels fucked up but im not being like irradic#like if i was standing beside someone i dont think theyd notice. except maybe my sister bc i think if i talked id be noticeable#energetic. idk maybe im just exhausted and brain is pumping me with stress hormones so i csnt stop but i also csnt feel it#but i suspect its something to do with estrogen and progesterone levels changing which isnt great bc ive got a cycle that borders being#concerningly short but like idk rn its fun. im sure itll break and ill split apart but rn everything feels hilarious#its also weird bc im always like: y do i have so much energy after i dont sleep? is not sleeping thr answer. and today i was like hm#maybe i cant sleep bc i have too much energy. hm. idk its not bad. it doesn't feel bad#it just feels interesting and notable so im noting it. weird stuff. hopefully it pulls me thru tomorrow#bc my back fucking hurts lmao and its monday so ppl r back in the lab as i stand around for 11 hours#unrelated
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danielnelsen · 1 year
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HEY GUYS PLEASE SAY HI TO BILLY
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wyvernne · 1 year
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ahhh i see! ngl i do feel rlly spoiled for having the option to choose an ending but tysm for putting all the effort into your works 🥹🥹 it rlly shines thru when we read your stuff but don’t forget to take breaks and look after yourself!!
also congrats on surviving the first year of law school, you’re doing great :)
- anon from sequel ask
thank you! writing is still 100% just me having fun, so don’t worry haha. i’m self centered and stressed enough as it is that i wouldn’t keep doing it if it was a chore or adding additional stress.
and thank you!!! it went by a lot faster than i thought it would, but every time i think back to the sheer amount of work i’ve done over the past year i’m in absolute awe
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lilgynt · 1 year
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what if i got home from work and immediately had to do stuff for the house/my dad till 1 am then went to sleep so hard i didn’t dream then went back to work huh. what if that happened
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#personal#i got six hours last night and that was the most i have gotten in several days#i mean my fault but it’s mostly like i’m gonna cut into my sleep time to have any free time#but anyway 10+ hour shifts 5+ hours cleaning/ helping my dad then sleep then immediately back at work#i was talking to my mom how bad life is yesterday and she was like but ur so skinny 😍#i did chew her out but we worked it out and i did admit the weight loss has made me feel better during all of this#but probably not great that i’m enjoying it you know? but anyway#but the lady who’s coming to live with us to help with dad came yesterday night so!#she was helping him when i woke up and left for work#definitely will be an adjustment to live with a stranger and god pleae please#let my parents keep the house normal enough for a human being#and i’m gonna have to actually make sure the house is clean bc that’s not fair to her#anyway will be a big adjustment but if i can sleep that’d be so fucking nice#i already cried at work but maybe i leave early? i wont i have 4/6 occurances just from calling out for my dad#but also hehe. one drops off in 9 days maybe i don’t give a shit#but also if i’m gonna get an occurrence might as well get a full day#many thoughts probably will stay the whole day#i told my mom when this is all settled i’m taking a vacation and not doing a single responsible thing#i hope she can take a vacation soon too#but yeah second we have this settled im not working for 2 weeks not even joking
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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ffxv makes me so emotional oh my god 🥹🫶🏼
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxv. ]#i love love love final fantasy so much like. video games in general i cld rlly ramble abt each of my interests for hours like i'm#v much ffxv mood rn. god esp that one story two years back i've mentioned it so much here atp but IT REALLY IS SO PERSONAL N#CRINGE???? IDK IT MAKES ME EMBARRASSED A BIT but like embarrassed /pos like. it's me. younger me. n i'm still v fond of it.#..still makes me shy though but even more i finished writing that uh oneshot back then w noctis#childhood friends to lovers uhuh secretly in love but both think it's unrequited uhuh#why has that always been among my fav tropes.. I DON'T EVEN RLLY HAVE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS? there's nothing irl that inspired it at all.#but then ^ that's also w my uhhhh original characters n then my wol too in ffxiv honestly n#even with other characters.. a v similar sentiment w claude n like lancelot or lucifer. ffxv / fe3h / gbf were my top 3 back in 2020#botw hades octopath acnh & other ff were games that i rlly rmb then too. but ever since ffxiv i haven't been able to play much other vgs 😭#the witcher 3. nier automata demo. code vein demo. genshin. hzd. rdr2. ac odyssey n lots more but god i've barely finished any#OH I NEARLY FORGOT.. I'M SO SORRY must be bcs i was listening to it earlier so i thought i already wrote it but kh3 yes#AAAA WAIT I'M RAMBLING AGAIN I WAS GNA WORK ON SOME STUFF BEFORE I SLEEP 🥹 sleep by 3 for more hours or by 4 so i can uh#get some stuff done before tmrrw? i will. do my best this week as quickly as i can so i can.. rest? my mind rlly needs a rest i think ><#yk what i can always write n do more the next day yeah i'll sleep no later than 3:30#i think i'm going back more to my old self again but i'll do my best to not isolate or distance myself too much i don't want to destroy#things even more like. in that. dream n. in the past when. i thought i was over it but i think those wounds r reopening#but i'm stronger than them n. fuck. it's the same as before n that's why i'm crying that's why i'm so afraid that's why it hurts so much#but i've written too much here. it hurts so much but even if it feels too similar to.. back then it's. not the same it's not the same#i've improved i've gone this far i've made friends i've made so much memories. but i'm so afraid that i'll fuck up again n#i think i'm like this bcs. oh ffs my dream told me basically that i really do think i already fucked up. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry#the past.. present. the future. too fast too much n it's just like before n that's. why i'm helpless to it. i can do better but this#i forgave them but maybe i haven't forgiven myself. entirely at least. so. the familiarity of this rn is keeping me frozen in place?#n then other stuff r so overwhelming too n fuck i don't want to think about this anymore i'll be fine i'm fine i can do this on my own#..no. i can't do that again. fuck i'm crying so much why does this feel the same as two years back#i'm sorry please don't forget me please don't leave me please tell me i didn't fuck up please don't tell me i did it again#i'm sorry i was doing better i was healing but i'm back to this again i know better but i can't do any more rn n i'm sorry i'm so sorry#fuck it i'll wipe away these tears. it feels so empty inside but i'll feel better somehow by the morrow. i don't want to be a burden nymore#i know it's bad n i don't want all my progress to be for naught but.. no i can't fuck this up again but i feel i alrdy have. i'm sorry. gn
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nagmaskarangungo · 1 year
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🎉🎉🎊🎇🎆 WAHOOO 🎆🎇🎊🎉🎉
IM FUCKING BACK OMG!??!?!!?!??!??!?
thank you [tumblr] but also PESTENG YAWA NIMO [tumblr]
#so what happened was that my account got RANDOMLY TERMINATED LOL (how fun 🙃!!! /s)#i'm not gonna regale you the whole story of last week (yet)#(bc i've been TRYING to do that here on the tags but [tumblr] keeps on lagging on me & kept making me accidentally backspace every tag)#so here's the summery of what happened to me for the past week (contradicting what i said two tags earlier but w/e):#got banhammered by mistake#naively wasted time ''''contacting'''' support (I mean that's what they put in the suspension screen so you know)#the next day found the account recovery thing on [tumblr]'s help page#proceeded to NOT look up on what to do & sent two tickets TWICE 🤦🏻‍♀️#later found a tumblrina's actually helpful advice post & found out that all that didn't matter bc#a) it's the weekend for support team so good luck with those automated emails that wont do shit bc#b) my waking hours are closed hours for them & they're open around when i'd go to sleep AND#c) since i've now sent those two tickets (should've been one) i now have to wait about a WEEK just in case they got them but#d) if i'm still terminated after the week. THEN i can send another ticket#so i had to make myself be busy with anything else that's not [tumblr] for a week#during which time i set up alarms for yesterday evening to send a ticket later that night#so the week passed & it was yesterday evening#i was SO READY to do what i planned to do that night#you know what happened? I SLEPT THROUGH THE ALARMS & NEARLY THE ENTIRE NIGHT 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤬🙃😵‍💫#i was LUCKY i woke up at around 4 AND immediately remembered ''OH SHIT THE COMPLAINT!!!''#so i sent it#& as soon as i ooened yt to wait an email was sent#thought it was another automated email so i opened it#but iT WAS AN ACTUAL EMAIL TELLING ME MY ACCOUNT' S BEEN REINSTATED WOOHOO!!!!! 🎉🎊💥🎊🎇😭😭😭😭😭😭#so now I'm back. back from [tumblr] suspension limbo#& EEWWW WHAT'S THIS TUMBLR LIVE SHIT GET THAT OUT OF MY FACE#*proceeds to snooze tumblr live for the week* thank goodness they're gone#kinda funny though since last week when i got back here (before the termination) one of the things on my dash was the whole poll bonanza#(& vanilla extract or whatever)#anyways i can now go back to soaking up the unhinged vibes of this wretched place (affectionate)#babble on the tower
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storybook-souls · 2 years
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have spent all weekend holed up in a cabin working on my novel and while it’s been very creatively fulfilling i’m left feeling very very [emotion] about the whole thing overall
#on the one hand every time i spend time writing it's so validating to get to go. 'oh i DO love this. i really really do.'#'i haven't just tricked myself into thinking i like doing this i really do feel like this is the thing i could do Forever'#but there IS a. 'hey am i actually any GOOD at this????' 'is it supposed to be easier than this? feel less like pulling teeth?'#'should the characters feel more real by now? am i as funny as i think i am? do i have the courage to take the swings i need to?#do i really control the plot as well as i need to? are my ideas really even anything at all?'#and then the third thing is. 'jesus christ it's really hard to write a novel when you have a full time job.'#especially when you're also running 4 dnd games and actually working 45ish hours a week and have to#maintain your own apartment and life and try to have some sliver of a social life and have family obligations#and are trying to get more sleep and have recently gotten back into reading books--#i got a lot done!!!! but not as much as i maybe HOPED to#this draft is like. not quite halfway done and i STILL don't know exactly what i'm doing with some of the#later chapters and while i think this draft is BETTER than draft 1 (obviously) it still like. needs a lot of work#and i'm so Tired....i feel GOOD but i'm so Tired and i have to go back to WORK on tuesday....#i. :( i know these things take time and that's okay i can be okay with it but it's just. really daunting to look down that road#and to know that i could only get as far as i did bc i set aside two whole days for it and WHEN am i gonna get that again#instead i'm just gonna have to go back to fitting it in around all the everything else which is. sigh#but i can do it! i literally can and i'm going to.#and i'm very glad i had this weekend it DID do the main thing i needed it to which is that it made me figure out#HOW to do a proper second draft. so now i can keep going#fcm#my writing
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