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logically-asexual · 1 year

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One more time with feeling

summary:

Part one of this series is 'I can tell I've rotted in your brain', about Logan being slowly pushed away over the years until one day he is kicked out of Thomas's conscious mind and becomes the orange side.

This is part two, about Logan finally coming back.

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Chapter 5

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words: 2630

Logan sat next to Thomas in the office, as Thomas mentally prepared to talk to his employee —not coworker, as Logan had corrected him.

“Repeat after me:” Logan said, “I am the boss.”

“I am the boss.” Thomas repeated.

“It is my job to make the decisions, and it is their job to help me fulfill them.”

Thomas echoed everything his Side said.

“Good.” Logan nodded. “Now, the purpose of your agreement with these people is for you not to overwork yourself and create more, correct?”

“Yes.”

“If they do something that makes you work more instead of less with no further gain or profit, the purpose is not achieved. Therefore a part of the process is wrong and must be fixed.”

“Right.”

Thomas seemed determined for now. This was the third time they tried to fix this problem, but at every attempt Thomas chickened out and ignored Logan’s instructions. Logan could only hope it would finally work this time.

“It is our job to make the decisions and theirs to help us with them.” Logan repeated. “What decision did we make?”

“We’re… returning the stuff they ordered and they will try to find a sponsor to make up for the money lost.”

“Correct. Now all you have to do is tell them to do it.”

Thomas nodded and stood up.

He did it. It wasn’t as hard as he expected, the other person listened and agreed to do what Thomas told them. Logan decided to take advantage of the success and try one more thing.

Thomas gathered the few people working in the office at the moment and asked them for feedback to their communication channels, if there was a way they would rather receive the important information from meetings they missed. A few agreed that the summaries Thomas emailed to them were fine. He didn’t miss, however, how one person in particular rolled their eyes.

“Danny, what do you think?” Logan managed that Thomas’ tone wasn’t angry, but firm, just like a teacher’s.

The employee shifted in their place. At least they had the decency of being embarrassed while everyone stared at them. Not so brave now, Logan thought.

“I guess my inbox does get kind of crowded,” they muttered, “and things are easy to miss.”

“Oh, alright.” Thomas smiled. “Would it help if I sent you a text message instead?”

The other just nodded, not looking Thomas in the eye. Logan was beaming with pride. Now they didn’t have an excuse to ignore Thomas, and everyone else here witnessed the agreement.

Thomas said goodbye to his employees and left the office for the day, leaving them to finish setting up the place for filming their new video soon. He sat in his car, with Logan in the passenger seat.

“See, that wasn’t so—“ Logan was about to remark on how well things had gone when a loud cry made him jump. “Thomas?”

“That was horrible!” he yelled. “I am horrible!” He hit the steering wheel with the side of his closed fist.

Logan frowned. “How can you say that? We set goals to achieve today and we did that successfully, what—“

“I am a terrible person, they’re all going to hate me. What am I going to do?” He hid his face between his hands.

“But— But everything went according to our plan.”

“Didn’t you see their faces? I was supposed to build a good working environment and instead I abuse my power to humiliate someone in front of their coworkers—“

“Thomas, control yourself.”

Thomas pouted at him, but stayed quiet.

“You’re an adult. You were behaving like one.”

“No, I was behaving like an assho—“ Thomas stopped himself when he saw the way Logan’s eyebrows raised. “No, sorry I wasn’t trying to insult you, it’s just that… I don’t… That didn’t feel like myself at all!”

“Well, duh, that’s predictable when you’ve repressed this side of your personality for two years, to the point of forgetting it existed!”

“I thought that we had been over this and now you were going to help me!”

“I am helping you, but it is too hard to tell if you actually want my help, or if you’re going to keep whining every time I make a suggestion.“

“Hey don’t talk to me like that!”

Luckily for Thomas, the windows of his car were up and anyone who happened to pass by would think he was having a heated discussion over the speaker.

“Okay nevermind just…” Thomas tried to relax as he started the car. “I don’t want to think right now, I just want to get home.”

Logan took a deep breath in. “We’re not going home yet.”

“What?”

“We’re going to buy a work desk for your apartment.”

“What?! No! Do you know how expensive furniture is these days? And where am I going to put an entire desk? I can’t change the arrangement of the first floor, that’s where I film!” Thomas’s head was reeling, suddenly finding it hard to believe this was what his life had become.

“It’s an investment for your work and to save us the future medical bills for the back problems you’re getting from that terrible habit you have of working on your couch or your bed.”

“And where do you suppose we get the money for that, Mr….” he didn’t have energy to think of some nickname, “Serious Adult!?”

“Perhaps you could sell some of the useless toys you have laying around the house, and that way you would also make space for the desk.”

Logan looked so arrogant like this, Thomas thought, sitting there looking so satisfied with his own reasoning, staring straight through the windshield, his jaw set.

In hindsight, listening to the old Logan seemed so much easier.

A few hours later they made it back home with a list of possible desk and chair models, their brands, and prices. Thomas walked into his living room and immediately crumpled the list in his hands and threw it across the room.

Logan sank out directly to his bedroom. He let himself fall into the bed. Then, he reached for one of the heavier books on the bedside table and lifted it above his forehead. Before he could use it to test the strength of his skull, a yellow-gloved hand got in the way.

Janus took the book from him as Logan sat up, his hands following it.

“Devolving to your old healthy coping mechanisms, I see…” he drawled as he held the book behind his back, out of Logan’s reach.

Logan didn’t speak, but the narrowed eyes with which he looked up at him and the redness around them told Janus everything he needed to know. His pupils seemed to shine brighter at the moment.

“Come on.” He stretched a hand, “let’s take a break.”

Despite Logan’s current feelings of annoyance at the world, he took Janus’s hand and walked with him to their living room.

Once there, Janus encouraged him to sit down on the couch, and pulled an… interesting object. It was a small, flat, rectangular piece of wood, with three wooden poles pointing out of it, all in a line. Several disks in different colors and sizes were placed in a pyramid, the largest disk at the base, the smallest at the top, with one of the sticks going through the center of all of them.

Logan remembered Thomas had read something about this puzzle, the Tower of Hanoi, a few days ago. The goal was to transport the pyramid from one pole to another, moving only one disk at a time, and never placing a bigger disk on top of a smaller one.

He thanked Janus, took the object from his hands, placed it on the coffee table, and began trying to solve it.

Janus sat back on the couch next to him, reading. Logan experimented, moving the disks around and trying to find a system. He got frustrated a few times when he accidentally undid his progress, when his actions led him to inevitably return the disks to where they started. Eventually, though, he began to notice a pattern. Soon he was moving the disks from one pole to another swiftly, carefully keeping track of his past moves to determine the next one.

Just as he was making the final moves, Virgil barged in.

“Logan,” he breathed, “I need your help.”

Logan’s forehead wrinkled, but he didn’t look up from his task.

“Roman is–”

“Don’t you see he’s busy?” Janus interrupted Virgil, also not looking up from his book as he turned the page.

“Shut up, you slimy piece of—“

Seeing Virgil was about to pick a fight, Logan interrupted. “I’m sorry, Virge, I think I’ve complicated things enough for one day,” he said as he placed the final disk on top of the rest, successfully completing the puzzle.

“You’re going to give up just like that?”

“Give up?” Logan slowly repeated, finally looking up. “Excuse me but I don’t believe you understand—“

“I understand everything and you’re such a coward!” Virgil groaned. “Of course things would get complicated! We knew that but the only way out is just getting through it.”

“I know, Virgil, but I think the process can be postponed until tomorrow when everyone is more accessi—“

“I hate to break it to you, but that’s not going to happen. They're not going to magically become open to what you say, you have to keep insisting.”

“It’s not that simple, I—“ He stopped, closing his eyes and drawing his eyebrows together.

“What?!”

“I fucked up, okay?!” Logan stood. “I fucked up today as I knew and told you I would!”

“What are you talking about? What happened?“

“I just wanted to make it clear to Roman that this fairytale he has Thomas believe he’s living in is a waste of time and energy that will lead him nowhere in life. I wanted to work with him to help Thomas because he can’t go on like this. He’s— he’s daydreaming instead of working, he’s working instead of sleeping, he’s sleeping instead of eating,—“ he began pacing around the room— “he’s got everything backwards! And then Roman just fucking dares try to insist that this is what Thomas needs and that soon enough he’ll be ‘living the life’ whatever that means—“

Virgil began following Logan around, as the other took off his glasses and gestured with them while walking in circles. “Lo…”

“No, I get it.” Sounded like a response but Logan was mostly talking to himself, “Thomas wants this unconventional lifestyle and I must support it but I can’t allow that he’s treated as if he were indestructible. But, again, it’s my fault that what should be a debate devolves into fights and a never-ending stream of childish insults coming my way; my fault and no one else’s. It’s what I should expect, after all, I can’t get one single fucking thing right—“

“Logan!” Virgil called as Logan’s grip on his glasses tightened enough to break them.

That was enough to stop him, giving Virgil enough time to catch up and stand in front of him. He took Logan’s glasses and shook them in his hand, fixing them, before handing them back. Logan finally focused his eyes on Virgil once he put the glasses back on.

Logan’s lips were closed in a thin line.

“Talk to me,” Virgil said.

“I made him cry,” Logan confessed.

Virgil stayed still in stunned silence.

“Patton and Roman… I know they’re so emotive and I can’t keep track and be careful of every single feeling they have because I would become mad just trying to make sense of it all but… I had never made someone cry like that, all on my own. I don’t even know what it was I said.

“Normally that would have been enough as a signal for me to distance myself from them and not come back, but Thomas kept insisting I helped him at work. I couldn’t say no. It took so much effort not to just come back here and hide. I stayed out and did the best that I could. And then that had an unfavorable ending, as well.”

Virgil frowned. “I’m sorry, but I just know that this whole thing will end sooner than you think, if we don’t give up.”

After a pause, Logan continued gingerly. “Virgil. I know you have your own experience with this issue, and there’s a lot that we can learn from it, but not everything in this case is analogous to yours.”

“And what’s different?” He sat down on the couch, and Logan followed.

“When you appeared, you made yourself heard with great resilience, showing a more intimidating and abrasive version of yourself, which was eventually accepted as a meaningful and necessary part of Thomas as it was, in spite of the negatives, because of the positive impact you had anyway. Once accepted, you were able to decide who to be, what felt the most comfortable for you, which was rightfully celebrated and encouraged by everyone.”

Virgil blushed slightly, surprised by the kindness with which Logan described his story.

“In my case, well… I liked who I was before, but I don’t think anybody else did. Despite my efforts to stay that way I was forced into a new unwanted role. I’ve come to terms with the change, and I promised you I would still try to help Thomas, but…”

Both Virgil and Janus were completely silent, focused on Logan. He refused to look at either of them.

“… but you’re asking for me to keep changing, to keep exerting myself just to be able to hold a civil conversation. Thomas wants Logic back as it was before, not me, he wants to pretend nothing is different. If I just were myself —this new me— out there, it would be impossible to even speak. I— I just—“ He sighed. “I’m so tired.”

As he finished, he turned to Virgil, who could now see his eyes were not as shiny as usual, still glowing orange, but too faint, almost back to their usual brown. The bags under them obscuring his appearance even more.

“Lo—“

“If you don’t mind,” Logan said as he stood, “I am going to my room. After everyone gets some rest I… I promise to try again.”

He left no room for argument as he walked up the stairs. Virgil watched him quietly, only hearing Janus turn a page from his book.

“I wish I could help him,” Virgil confessed after a pause.

“He’ll be fine,” Janus replied, and for once Virgil thought he actually believed what he said.

They sat in silence for a while, before Virgil spoke again.

“You know, you could help out, too.”

Janus didn’t acknowledge his words.

“Thomas probably thinks being angry and assertive is selfish and that that means it’s bad. You could help show him that it’s not true.”

Janus scoffed without humor. “Since when do you think selfishness isn’t the devil?”

Virgil bit his lip. “I guess Logan’s absence seems the most direct cause for Thomas’s trainwreck of a life, since he’s been a visible Side of him for so long, but…” He was reluctant to admit it, but he had to keep speaking now. “I know Thomas is missing you, too. Maybe he’s missing a little Remus, even, to get his blood running every once in a while.”

They both chuckled softly at the comment. It felt weird for Virgil. He hadn’t been alone in the same room as Janus for so long without a fight in years.

He didn’t want to stay long enough to ruin it. He stood up and, in an act of bravery, he whispered, “Goodnight, Janus. I hope to see you soon,” before sinking out.

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#a long one!#but i had fun with it hope you do too #thomas sanders #logan sanders #orange side #sanders sides #ts #virgil sanders #janus sanders #one more time with feeling #erase me

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1277

Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? Ooooh moving forward, probably Angela hahahaha I have no idea how I’d break it to her if ever I do start seeing somebody again. She’s well aware of all the shit that I let slide so she might get intense with the scrutineering.

What is the most exciting thing about your life right now? Just the fact that I feel on top of the world these days. My days of being depressed and picking at my insecurities seem to be far behind me and the change has looked to be apparent coming from friends who’ve told me I seem happier, louder these days.

What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? To not be scared to fight harder for the things you believe in or what make up your identity, coming from having to hide a same-sex relationship during that period. That feeling of being constricted and having to hide to stay on some conservative seniors’ good graces really pissed me off so high school was really crucial in letting me discover just how much I’d be willing to fight and test the waters to be able to live as me.

Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there? Hmm no, not really. If anything my job is one of the things that helped make me a lot livelier and happier.

Do you have a “one who got away”? It felt that way at the start when my view was still skewed, but it didn’t take long until I realized she was not a loss at all.

If you were in a superhero movie, would you be the hero or the villain? Hero.

If you found a mouse in your house, would you be frightened? Mice or rats are the literal worst fucking thing I could see in my house. I definitely see myself making a big deal out of it lmao, especially rats.

Have you ever tried to perform magic tricks? Nobody ever taught me, so no.

Can you do more with a yo-yo than just "go up and down"? Nah, which kinda makes me feel ashamed because considering it was a Filipino who invented the modern yo-yo, I feel like it should be my responsibility to know a few tricks LOL.

What is one form of technology that you wouldn't be able to live without? Instant messenger.

Did you get an allowance, growing up? Why or why not? Starting high school. Before that I was living in our family’s duplex, so my grandma could make packed meals for all of us – not to mention the fact that my parents were also still on their way to establishing themselves at their respective workplaces so we weren’t all that well-off yet.

When we moved into our own place, we started with my mom making our meals but eventually it just proved to be time-consuming and a lot of work considering she also had a job to go to. With that and the fact that both my parents at that point already got a couple of promotions, we switched to allowance.

Would you rather go to a water park or an amusement park? Why? Amusement parks though I would only probably head to the safer rides and food stalls with all the deep-fried offerings haha. I cannot handle more intense rides. On the other hand, water parks have always sounded nasty to me.

What is one instrument you wouldn't mind learning how to play? Piano.

What's the longest amount of time you've had to wait in line for something? The stupid LTO, because you can never count on government agencies to be efficient. Technically my whole time in there took a couple of stages, but all in all I spent eight hours there.

What is something that you would like to learn more about? Korean. I just graduated from my Basic Korean 1 class but I already have plans to enroll in the following course, since I seemed to do well and I want to keep the momentum going.

What is something that one of your family member collects? Mom has a large collection of chef-themed figurines and other sorts of trinkets like a chef timer, shot glasses, etc - but mostly the figurines - that she has displayed in a glass case. I should keep that in mind for when I start Christmas shopping, actually...she hasn’t updated that collection in a long time. Thanks for the idea!

Have you ever moved to a new school before? If so, how did it feel? No, not in the middle of the same period since I went to the same school from kinder to high school for 14 years. I only “moved” when I started college. Like I’ve said in previous surveys, it felt freeing to finally not under be the hands of an environment ran by...well, Catholics. It was a culture shock to see rallies everywhere, to find out I could wear short shorts or even go to school naked if I wanted to, and to see boys in my class (I went to an all-girls), but it was all the good kind of shock.

Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework? Always, because I never wrote them down.

Do you enjoy autumn leaves or spring flowers more? Why? I experience neither season.

Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? Typhoon.

If you could meet any fictional character from a book, who would it be? Melanie Hamilton from Gone with the World.

What are some common places that people tour when they come to your city? I rarely see foreigners here since my area isn’t particularly known for tourism; most go to the island provinces like Cebu, Aklan, Palawan, etc. If I had to recommend spots here, I’d tell them to go for Pinto and maybe the rooftop bars that offer a view of Manila’s skyline.

What's one food that you did not enjoy as a child, but do as an adult? Chicken curry, which I used to dread.

Would you rather have a mermaid tail, a fairy's wings or a unicorn's horn? I guess the wings just because I feel like it’s the only practical one.

What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed? I don’t think that way about animals I can’t keep as pets anyway.

What are some things that you do to make the world a better place? I always clean up at restaurants (my mom doesn’t understand why I do it because “the servers are here for a reason, Robyn”) but I always see the relief on their faces when they see I’ve stacked up the plates and cups so I don’t see a reason to stop doing it. I keep the door open for people who happen to enter/exit a building the same time as me, share dog adoption posts, don’t make a fuss about or towards a shop staff who messes up...things like that. I hope it’s able to help, even if just in a small way.

Has the last person you had sex with ever had sex with someone besides you? I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has already.

What’s your favorite store at your mall? We have several malls within the vicinity but I like frequenting NCAT.

Have you ever done a workout DVD? No but my mom is fond of those.

Who usually takes out the trash in your family? Either of my parents.

What song are you currently obsessed with? My Universe is soooooo good. It’s Coldplay’s classic sound but they somehow managed to perfectly blend in BTS’ style as well, so I love how it turned out.

When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook? I've never gone fishing.

Do you take any prescription meds? Nope.

What happens if you don’t take them? Who was the last person you dreamt about? My dad.

Do you prefer your tea sweetened or unsweetened? Sweetened, though I don’t usually actively look for iced tea. I’d have it if it was served, but I don’t typically order it for myself.

How often do you honk your horn? As long as I am annoyed, which gives my mom a mini heart attack every time because she insists I just let people have their way to avoid getting into fights. Sometimes when she’s driving and someone’s being stupid on the road I lurch forward to do the honking for her and it pisses her off soooooooooo much but it also gets the job done so *shrug*

Do you have any children? If so, names and ages? I don’t.

Have your parents ever witnessed you doing something inappropriate? What? TMI but I almost got caught doing the m-word once but my reflexes were at lightning speed that day so when my door opened I was able to fix myself up and appear as though nothing was happening lol. My mom also saw a hickey on me once but I was able to veer the conversation away when she started inquiring.

Did you get babysat a lot as a kid? No, I did the babysitting.

If you were the principal of a school, what would you do differently? Actually deal with teachers who mistreat or make issues towards their students. I had several teachers I know didn’t like me but I could never do anything about it because there was no way in hell the school was going to take my side.

Are you doing anything fun tomorrow? Continued from yesterday. If I took this question yesterday to refer to today I would’ve answered yes because we actually have a really fun PR stunt scheduled for execution today, wherein we get to sponsor someone’s whole wedding from food to flowers to the host and fillm crew :D :D But tomorrow is just Monday so the real answer to this is no.

What is something you'd like to receive as a housewarming gift? I dunno the usual housewarming gifts, but I would appreciate anything practical, or anything that you’ll need at the least expected times, like batteries or even like Sticky Tack.

How old were you when you first experienced the effects of puberty? Oooh I was an early bird – I was 9 when I could first tell my first period was on its way; it came a month after I turned 10.

What is your least favorite holiday, and why? I don’t dislike any holiday because they all mean a day off work lol.

What were some outdoor games you played as a child? We usually played piko (hopscotch), our local version of freeze tag that we dubbed “Ice ice water” for whatever reason, and a garter game that we call 10-20. Dodgeball was a favorite during recess and lunch, too.

Did you accompany your parents on "Take Your Child to Work" Day? That’s not observed here, but my mom did use to take me and my siblings to her first workplace. Are cemeteries peaceful to you, or do they freak you out? They’re actually more interesting to me than anything else. I like learning about the different lives of many different people, even if I only technically know them by their birthday and date of death. Sometimes the inscriptions would be more detailed and tell more about their life, sometimes I’d come across babies who only lived a few days...and it’s just interesting to have those glimpses into life.

Which ancient civilization would you be interested in learning more about? Filipino, because Western colonization destroyed proof of most of it.

Do you have better long-term memory or short-term memory? Long.

What was the last situation that made you cry? Describe. I cried this morning. Nothing bad or heavy, I just found myself thinking again about my mental state last year.

Which forest animal would you be most afraid to encounter? Anything that wouldn’t hesitate to tear my limbs apart.

Do you believe in anything supernatural? (ie: spirits, etc) No.

Has anyone close to you ever gone to war? No. The closest link I have to the military, other than my dead great-grandfather, is Angela’s uncle who’s like a general or like a colonel or something, idk titles.

Have you ever experienced altitude sickness? Yeah, occasionally. Pressure in the ear is a bigger nuisance to me, though.

Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly? The last time I saw my grandfather. My only clear memory of him that day was stepping out of the house to leave (my mom and I were visiting) and him sending me off with the message to always be kind and good. If I had known I would never see him again, I never would’ve left.

Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? Hmm no, not that I can recall.

If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to? I’d go to Hans for certain advice, but not for every single situation. He’s the only person that comes to mind.

What was the last new food/drink that you tried? So last Wednesday I finally got to try this Instagram-based doughnut shop that I’ve been eyeing since August and it turned out to be even MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTEDDDDDD. Like yeah their photos were always mouthwatering but I didn’t expect it to taste as good as it looks, since most pretty food I’ve encountered usually end up just tasting meh. Anywho, I got two orders of their sampler box and they served me their specialty bacon doughnut, signature brown butter, and a bunch of their chocolate and peanut butter variants and I loved every single fucking thing.

Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? Oh it’s hard to tell, it’s only 9:05 AM. Both days might be uneventful, though.

Have you ever played Sudoku? I don’t actually get how to play it hahaha. I feel like I’m too stupid for sudoku.

Do you ever take surveys for money? I tried it last year when applying for jobs was still a bitch for me, but the thing is most of those surveys look for employed participants so there was rarely ever a survey that fit me anyway.

Do you like Barbie or Bratz better? Bratz.

Do you prefer purple or green grapes? I don’t like grapes.

Who was the last person that made you laugh? Idk, probs one of the boys since I was watching videos of them earlier today.

Where does your best friend live? A nearby city.

Who did you last confide in? Angela.

Does your car have an alarm? Sure.

Where was your mom born? Somewhere in Metro Manila.

What can always make you feel better no matter what? My dogs.

What is something you’ll never eat again? Why? I don’t think there is anything. I feel like I’m always bound to retry things and that I would be open to doing so, even fruits. One thing I’m firm about never drinking again, though, is coconut water. Get that SHIT away from me.

What is currently happening that is scaring you? I’m not feeling scared these days.

Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? Probably. But nothing sticks out.

#survey #surveys

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howwelldoyouknowyourmoon · 3 years

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Lawmakers welcome a guy to Congress – and the messiah shows up

youtube

Who Is Rev. Moon? ‘Returning Lord,’ ‘Messiah,’ Publisher of the Washington Times

John Gorenfeld – PoliPoint Press

The following is an adapted excerpt from John Gorenfeld’s “Bad Moon Rising: How Reverend Moon Created the Washington Times, Seduced the Religious Right, and Built an American Kingdom” (Polipoint Press, 2008).

The video is from a 1997 Washington Times party where Moon said he founded the newspaper to save the world. In it, he also demands that his employees rid the world of “free sex,” meaning sexual intercourse beyond the purifying influence of his mass weddings.

One chilly Tuesday evening, strange things were afoot on Capitol Hill. The U.S. Senate was hosting a ceremony at the request of a wealthy, elderly newspaper publisher who wanted official recognition as a majestic, divine visitor to Washington. The Dirksen Senate Office Building made for an unlikely temple: a formidable seven-story block of white marble, looming on a street corner diagonally across from the Capitol Dome, its marble pediment is inscribed, “THE SENATE IS THE LIVING SYMBOL OF OUR UNION OF STATES.”

On March 23, 2004, U.S. lawmakers were filmed here in a conference room, paying tribute to the enigmatic Reverend Sun Myung Moon, then eighty-four, and his wife, Hak Ja, sixty-four.

As the cameras rolled, two congressmen presented the Koreans with matching royal costumes. Wearing the burgundy robes and shining crowns, which crested into jagged golden pinnacles, the married couple smiled and waved for the cameras.

Who was this self-proclaimed monarch? In the 1970s, the evening news had presented Moon, the ranting, middle-aged business tycoon who wore flowing robes on special occasions, as Korea’s answer to L. Ron Hubbard, someone for college students to avoid, luring thousands of young Americans into a cult in which they sold carnations on the street and married spouses he chose for them. But the media had moved on to other nightmares, leaving Moon, forgotten, to reinvent himself. Now time had wizened him into an elderly patriarch, wearing an ashen face for his coronation. An orange Senate VIP name tag remained pinned to his gray suit, peeking out from between rows of curly gold filigree, as he stood on stage at the head of a red carpet.

The King of Peace, the Lord of the Fourth Israel, the Messiah, they called him now – and the publisher of the Washington Times. Though over a dozen congressmen attended his pageant, no one spoke a word of it to the press, not at first. By the time the secret was out, and ABC News was broadcasting the strange sights, it was three months later – summertime – and school was coming soon to the States. Soon grand parade marshals would drive teen queens and their bouquets around football fields, and the helmets of varsity teams would crash through banners. And homecoming would not be so different, insisted the two hapless congressmen, from the Reverend Moon’s rites, which had become a scandal.

“People crown kings and queens at homecoming parades all the time,” the liberal Chicago representative Danny Davis (D-IL) said.

“I remember the king and queen thing,” said Rep. Roscoe Bartlett (R-MD). “But we have the king and queen of the prom, the king and queen of 4-H, the Mardi Gras and all sorts of other things. I had no idea what he was king of.”

Yes, they admitted, it was them on camera, walking in the procession with slow, worshipful steps, bowing to the stage where the Moons stood. Those were Davis’s hands, wearing white gloves to avoid defiling the embroidered pillow he carried, a crown bobbing on it, to be lain on the brow of Mrs. Moon; that was Bartlett carrying the burgundy cape for Mr. Moon’s shoulders. Neither seemed embarrassed.

The “throne room” itself belonged to the U.S. Senate, whose Rules Committee, under Republican senator Trent Lott (R-MS), had the final say in who booked rooms and whether visitors could be anointed kings in them. And a senator had to sign off on that. The name of the senator, said one of the evening’s hosts, the defrocked Catholic priest George Stallings, was “shrouded in mystery.”

“There are moments that best play straight,” CNN anchor Aaron Brown said after I discovered the pageant. “So here goes. Lawmakers welcome a guy to Congress – and the messiah shows up.”

The coronation had been disguised as a Washington awards dinner, sponsored by a conservative, pro-war senator who had modestly kept his name out of the picture. The party began normally enough, serving portions of chicken and fish from the buffet and windy politicians’ speeches from the podium. But through a bait and switch – and a strange internal logic – room G-50 of the Senate office building, all marble and eagle seals, changed during the course of the evening into a fantasy throne room, complete with long red carpet, for the stern monarch of the Washington Times, the influential conservative newspaper that warns of immigrants and threats to Christmas – and who also controls United Press International (UPI), the formerly great news agency.

Moon walked from the chilly evening into the marble building dressed in a suit with bow tie and rose corsage. When he got up to deliver his keynote address, it was in a gravelly northern dialect of Korean, a farmer’s accent. Gripping the podium, he gruffly admonished the crowd, which included members of Congress, to accept him as “God’s ambassador, sent to earth with His full authority.”

With a printed copy of the speech before them – headlined Declaring the Era of the Peace Kingdom – guests listened to an English translation in radio earpieces. “The time has come for you to open your hearts,” Moon said, “and receive the secrets that Heaven is disclosing in this age through me.” To prove his credentials, he spoke of testimonials on his behalf – from the lips of the dead, with whom he claimed the power to converse. “The five great saints,” he said – meaning Jesus, Confucius, Buddha, Muhammad, and the Hindu prophet Shankara [Socrates] – “and many other leaders in the spirit world, including even Communist leaders such as Marx and Lenin, who committed all manner of barbarity and murders on earth, and dictators such as Hitler and Stalin, have found strength in my teachings, mended their ways and been reborn as new persons.”

His boasts were underscored with whoops and cheers from his followers, who had the good seats. To their church, the moment was a shining vindication for years of hardship: for being treated in the press as predators and for seeing their Christ-like hero, the Reverend Moon, forced onto the witness stand by U.S. tax attorneys, Sen. Bob Dole, and others between 1975 and 1984. Behind the gavels of government, these Pontius Pilates had pronounced Moon an enemy of the American family and the advance man for a South Korean dictator. The Reagan Justice Department had even sent Moon to prison [for tax evasion and document forgery]. But now Moon was active in family values politics, and members of Congress were as submissive as puppies. Moon prevailed.

Believing they were saving the world, Moon’s men had faced desperate pressure to arrange the awards dinner. The Senate event’s emcee was Michael Jenkins, leader of the American Unification Church, a white, middle-aged, blandly enthusiastic spokesman for the cause. In the autumn of 2003, Jenkins recalls in a sermon found online, the Reverend Moon had instructed him three times, first in a low voice, then louder, that unless the world enacted Moon’s plan for world peace, millions would die in a new Middle East Holocaust. “Not six million,” Jenkins said, “but six hundred million.” That fall the Times publisher fished for hours on his boat, while his apostles begged him not to strain his health. “You tell me to rest,” Moon retorted, “but I’m determining the course of history.” When Moon goes reeling off the coast of Kodiak, Alaska – where the church-owned True World Foods cannery annually ships out over twenty million pounds of salmon and other seafood – his followers believe his fishing also mends the wounds of the Cosmos. One day, the elderly fisherman accused Jenkins’s American archdiocese of taking the mission lightly. Far from it, Jenkins proclaimed from the pulpit. “Our American members are willing to die,” he said. “They’re willing to die. Once they understand God’s will, they’ll die.”

Had the Reverend Moon’s crowning at the Dirksen Senate Office Building not been filmed and photographed from seemingly every possible angle, and broadcast on ABC’s World News Tonight and Fox, and giggled at by The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart, and compared in a New York Times op-ed with an act of the Roman emperor who nominated his horse to the senate, it might have remained a mad whisper among Senate aides.

▲ Sun Myung Moon and Hak Ja Han are wearing Korean shaman crowns with symbolic antlers and trees (the seven branches represent the seven levels of heaven with the Moons enthroned at the top).

Continue reading here

______________________________________________

Bad Moon Rising: How Reverend Moon Created The Washington Times, Seduced the Religious Right, and Built an American Kingdom by John Gorenfeld

Sun Myung Moon – Emperor, and God

Shamanism is at the heart of Sun Myung Moon’s church

Sun Myung Moon: The Emperor of the Universe, transcript and links

#John Gorenfeld #messiah #Sun Myung Moon #Hak Ja Han

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ayakashiramblings · 4 years

Text

WTFried Episode 3: KFC Otome Game

Bold: Gaku’s commentary Italics: Futaba’s commentary Normal: Official documentary narration (usually in a bad British accent) Bold and Italicized: Answers/Questions to the… game.

In 1910, the Capital, one man had a dream that he made another man work for. That dream would result in the exclusive Milk Hall. A chic cafe that would serve all manner of dairy-based treats… and making only one exception today. A day where we will reach deep into this bucket of…

Oh, Aoi! This logo is such a cute design!

How did you know it was by him?

Did… did you seriously think it was anybody else?

Point taken... Ms Futaba-rt…

Hush, Gaku. I’m just going to leave the drawing to the actual student.

Since everyone is craving for some turkey this winter, the employee has made the employer fetch some slices of this fine poultry. Everyone at Raccord is getting ready for the tender meat AND the festive season as we ring in the new year of 1911! Featuring buckets with the restaurant’s symbol… an old man!

And speaking of the devil, here he comes without… the turkey but some other manner of bird? Thus, Aoi has prepared to strike, dumping the bucket on the counter with a resounding thud.

“Erm… so remember how I said it was ok if I arrived at the turkey place slightly later than usual…?” A sheepish Oji's question can only be met by Aoi's deadpan conclusive remark,

“They ran out, didn’t they?”

Apparently, that was super insensitive because Oji-san has scrunched up his nose and eyes (the more normal ones) and…

Wait, how did you speak in parentheses?

"Nevermind that, somehow the narration was more offensive than Aoi's accusation." Oji’s fake-sniffling is thankfully interrupted by Aoi shaking the contents of the… replacement.

"I don't think it was harsh enough considering your blunder."

“No… it's just that the turkey place somehow became a chicken place! So the party pack is full of chicken!”

And just like that, the bells at the entrance have stopped ringing just as fast as the front door has been shut. And two hearts are now shattered into a million pieces. Why wouldn’t there be shattered souls after witnessing all hopes of savouring a Western classic slipping down the grease tracks of the fried chicken? The sound of the fat fizzing and splattering was supposed to be a welcomed one, not this… this… tinier bird. In particular, Ginnojo knows that he knows too much. See the look of imagining death and actually experiencing it? And Kuro! He’s pouting in slow motion, head down, shoulders slumped, and with an expression that clearly indicates he’s responding but barely able to because of the sheer despair consuming him… AKA, exactly like a puppy.

...Gaku, don’t zoom in on their faces. I’m already describing it, no need to rub it in.

Fine.

“Man, I’m sorry you two. I know you guys were looking forward to the turkey.”

“Old Man Oji, it’s ok! I’m just glad everyone is here to feast at least!”

Of course, the most ferocious growl has to refute that statement and it certainly has to come from an even more ferocious beast… Ginnojo’s disappointed stomach. Does he manage to hide the betrayal well with his stoic face though as the two neighbours/besties/??? eye the substitute meats?

Ok, really, there is no way you can tell me you spoke in question marks.

“I apologize too. Honestly, I should have checked beforehand.” Aoi concedes and offers a temporary white flag in the form of a kitchen towel to see the numerous chunks of fried chicken.

Could it be? The magic of fried chicken is soothing wounds of the past? Can the crispy chicken skin really fully resolve the dwindling festive spirit? Will it be just as great as its twin…

… Sorry Yura and Gaku.

“Be at rest, my Lady. I am sure a dollop of sugar or two is enough to fully restore the chicken to a turkey’s high status.”

I’m glad to see that the sugar dispenser I made is being put to such use, brother.

As Yura makes the sugar cookies even more… sugary, Aoi shakes his head,

“What now? We work with fried chicken? I’ve never really experimented with it before.”

“We… do need to finish this supply eventually. Might as well start now.” was all Oji can offer in this dire situation. Just as everyone is heaving a sigh, two majestic heroes arrive with…

A tengu as a sacrifice for the turkey my brother can never savour now. Crows are closer than chicken to turkey.

“Mhmm?”

“Nevermind, ignore him Kuya. Hiya Koga! Sorry you two, but we’ve only got fried chicken...”

And with that, Futaba witnesses the magnificent wingspan of the tengu… as he flies away at the mention of devouring a fellow bird. At least, he tried to but an oni ogre foils his meticulous plan by… grabbing his ear.

“Sorry about him. And even more sorry for Ginnojo and Kuro. I know you two were looking forward to the turkey.”

Nice job, Gaku! :D

What even is... you know what, nevermind. Thanks, I guess, and the mic’s back to you now.

“Really, don’t worry you guys. It’s more like Gin-Gin and I like the story surrounding the turkey in the festivals. The fried chicken just doesn’t have such an interesting story.”

The gramophone acts up at this precise moment Kuro tries to break the tension. As a wonderful person holds this strangely bulky camera while Gaku rushes to fix the audio camera, he finds that the cause is none other than his own customer… Oji-san with a record-breaking moment. Literally.

“Ok, wait, I’ve lived long enough to tell you that isn’t true. Why, I used to tell this story to Aoi when he was a little lad…”

And Oji-san whips out… a shopping list dated 5 years ago. Additionally, the crayon doodles are really adorable alongside the cursive handwriting.

“Yup, you told me a shopping list that I wrote down and YOU forgot.”

… Edit out my earlier statement.

… I’ll try.

“You know what? We have all this fried chicken for me and Aoi to do something AND tell you more about the tale of the fried chicken this time of year.”

And this folks, is what happened before we come up with the most amazing play…

Before we continue this documentary, we would like to thank our sponsors. Koga Kitamikado. This Oni Ogre is tough as nails and nothing ever gets him down! You can always turn to him when you're in a bind. A… tender bind.

… Why is Koga sponsoring this?

Guess he saw something… like how we are going to see two ayakashi experiencing the world’s greatest interactive play!

Tonight, Ginnojo and Kuro react to ‘I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger-Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator!’. An interactive play scripted by Oji, you, yes you the audience, gets to play as a budding chef…

“Ooh, Gin-Gin is a good one… when you know, he doesn’t go bonkers on the ingredients.” Kuro’s chirp is nearly drowned out by the action at the back where we will be observing how our thespians are preparing.

Aoi and Oji have outdone themselves for this. We don’t have every single thing that you can purchase by queuing up but the menu prepared within 4 seconds is well-represented on this table. Sometimes, it is in a 3-piece meal, a few are in the buckets, and you get the overall picture! No double-dipping needed here, the act is too sacrilegious for such a holy beginning. A beginning… that will melt the frost around here.

Warm yourself from the inside. You’re about to embark on a journey that will end with you sleeping with this warm milk and pot pie….

Thus, these two can’t drink milk. Only eating the pot pie. We… we need them to actually play this.

“This is confusing, our journey begins with the ending?” Kuro asks a question that no one knows the answer to except for Ginnojo,

“Aye, a lot of the greatest heroes stumble upon their best stories after the ending of another. I suppose this is what we are trying to get here with… the pot pie?”

Scepticism is evident even on the usually trusting Kuro’s face. Nevertheless, they put their faith in Aoi’s culinary skills as they see the smoke still wafting from behind the stage curtains that are really just Kuya’s blankets.

AKA: Koga’s blankets.

Sure, the decor is a bit too… reminiscent of a chicken barn. And yet, observe the first bite taken by the Mizuki and the… other… ayakashi. Creaminess flooding each of their mouths as veggies and fried chicken come together in this glorious, crusted symphony. And at the very end of it all,

“Delicious.”

“Oh my gosh! It’s so good! The chicken, yum! More, please!”

As they chew contentedly amongst dozens of floating… chicken and biscuits… Yura approaches them with the most adorable signboard… and the weirdest customizable one at that. That’s right, we are featuring the talents of Yura and Aoi… for the second time in the latter's case.

“Welcometh, chef! Bef're we start, bid us thy nameth!”

Translation: Give us the coolest names you have Ginnojo and Kuro! Note: no explicit language or demeaning words are allowed.

“Oooh, let’s do a ship name, Gin-Gin!”

“I dislike ships. Especially the black ones. Why can’t humans just learn to be one with the waves?”

Thus, comes the most epic name ever.

Mammon!

“Like, Mama + Mon! Because, I dunno, it feels like a mum made this!”

“The Mon is an abbreviation of Monday, the day we are watching… I mean, playing this theatrical game.”

...

Should… should we tell them?

No.

With the dimming of lights and pot pie nearly finished, Kuro and Ginnojo move on to the chicken wings and munching sounds accompanied the sight of the protagonist… in bed. Since the protagonist is me. So…

I’m taking over the narration from this point onwards. Be grateful. And note… this is the game. So if it’s weird… do not blame me for it.

Oh hush, and get to your job.

Futaba is buried like one zinger in a tortilla wrap. Until the latest alarm clock that I have built with a custom ringtone goes off with the best sound in the world - that of a happy chicken. Sleep in or wake up? What should they choose?

“I’m concerned about the rooster.”

“Yes… but whelp, up and at’em is what I’d say!” was the only warning the poor alarm clock received before Kuro smacked the robot rooster with the goddamned whip of his, ruining hours and hours and hours of…

Don't be so offended, Gaku, it's just a game.

...

“Wow, I better get ready for my first day at the prestigious University of Cooking School: Academy for Learning!” Futaba says in a way-too-enthusiastic voice that is almost on Kuro’s level when he’s drunk.

“Ok, so I’m only familiar with Futaba and Aoi’s schools but I’m pretty sure no one would want that for a name. Oh! Let’s call it Cuddling Chicken School!”

Case in point because as I speak, Kuro and Ginnojo are now enjoying another treat with coke… that may or may not have been spiked. The main focus though is the box filled with delicious chicken and named after popcorn.

“This one’s the most processed. I don’t think I can take another bite. Oh, Kuro? You’ve finished yours?”

“... More like you finished yours and mine within a bite.”

For once, Ginnojo looked more innocent than Kuro was somewhat forlornly staring at his very, very empty container. At least now both could be more invested in the… plot of this play as our main character starts to get changed into a chef’s uniform, complete with an apron and a hat. All that is left to do is for her to actually move but she just has to ask,

“Hmm, I kinda want to daydream and laze about in bed.”

Of course, that’s challenging everything a former Shinsengumi member loves and knows so Ginnojo is quick to call my brother over to reject the option… except that Kuro is a bit more nonchalant about the whole affair.

“D’aww, let her, it’s so rare to see her relaxed.”

“I won’t deny that a girl her age shouldn’t be concerned with hard matters but Futaba wants to go to school. And I shall support her in her endeavours.”

“Except, this isn’t Futaba. She’s being Mammon remember?”

“Very well.”

And just like that, Ordinary Chef Student protagonist Futaba is late and doesn’t have time to sit and eat a full meal. She grabs a piece of biscuit, fluffy… unlike her missing deodorant.

“I knew she had a price to pay.” Ginnojo’s heavy sigh provoked a gasp of realization from his neighbour,

“Are we going to be fried?”

Alas, she was not…

HEY!

By the time she has thrown the biscuit at me, the setting has been changed to the ivory walls of UCS: AL… or the Cuddling Chicken School. And there, awaiting her is the ever-so-perky… BROTHER?!

He volunteered for the role!

Wow, I’m so proud of him! Wait, should I have auditioned… no, I’m just going to record every moment of this now.

Here comes the bestest friend in the world, Yura!

“Many thanks, brother, but I shall now don the name ‘Miriam’ and ask Mammon here if she is highly anticipating our term of 3 days!”

Ginnojo does have to voice out one concern that I am sure most viewers will have as well,

"Hold on, they can graduate in 3 days? Youth these days really are picking up new knowledge."

"I want a degree in English in 3 days. If I take the English food course in 3 days, will that count?"

Before Kuro can learn more about this miraculous development in education, Futaba has to continue with her dialogue and actually focus like my brother,

“Good morning Miriam! I'm sure…”

“Because I most certainly am! Alack, the breakfast I hadst did prepare this morn did not have enough love… whatever shall I do?”

As another branch of the game appears, the choice is rather evident…

COMFORT HIM YOU IDIOTS!

Finally, sense strikes the two, Kuro furiously slamming the option and poor Nachi as a result. Still, the nekomata behind the Option Board manages to signal to the other actors and Futaba barely adeptly gives my brother a pep talk,

“Ever since we were little babies together and you rescued me from that quicksand box, it’s been clear to me that you’re the most loving, caring person I’ve known! Your tiny… sweets are definitely going to be a hit!”

Part of the reason why this speech is not adequate enough is because Futaba is RUDELY interrupted when someone smacks her books and custom-engraved measuring spoons out of her hands and onto the ground.

“... Aeshleigh.” Futaba finally spat out, or whether it’s from deliberating drawing out the heavy silence to emphasize the sheer tension… or because she is wonder if Kuya cannot spell Ashley.

“This is the fancy name. For the fancy Ashley. Aeshleigh who is better than everyone else.” Ginnojo’s attempt at finding the reason for Aoi’s character name is ultimately thwarted by Aoi starting to get into character EXTREMELY reluctantly,

“Oh, I didn’t see you there, chicken shins.”

"Her boobs are not parallel at all." came Kuro's deadpan remark… and Ginnojo choking whilst looking like a boiled lobster. That, or because he is eating the Crispy Version of the Chicken breast.

“Kuro! Do not look there!”

“Why is she even insulting us for having chicken shins? She has chicken breasts on her thigh socks! Futaba, you should have actually worn chicken shin guards.”

…

Don't be so offended, Futaba, it's just a game.

Across the quad, one can see the rival’s best friend, who has stopped to look at his own reflection in the mirror. Pants so tight, anyone can see him casually working out his glutes while he styles his hair. No lie, they’re rocking glutes belonging only to one Koga.

“Ahem, Van Van?”

“You rang-rang?”

“Damn, Koga, you cougar go!”

“I’m curious about his hair, it’s actually in the shape of a starfish.”

“Don’t you just mean a star?”

“That can work too, I suppose.”

Sure, the pairing seems weird to the current audience but Aoi… I mean, Aeshleigh continues to sneer at Mammon who is slowly getting up with Miriam’s help but quicker with throwing the retort,

“I can’t believe that the University of Cooking School: Academy for Learning would ever allow people like you to attend as students.”

Except that it completely flies over both bullies’ heads as Aoi delicately laughs with icy cold teal eyes,

“Ara ara, so you do know. We should have gotten our diplomas already with these great skills of ours.”

“Or maybe hire us on as professors. You amateurs could learn a lot from us.”

With the first day of school about to start, there’s just not enough time to properly tell these two off so everyone else resists the urge. As Mammon and Miriam approach the door, they see a goofy-looking kid pushing hard against the window directly next to it.

“He would have been completely dislikable if it weren’t for the fact the cutest cub is playing him right now.”

On a more serious note, could someone like this also be a student at the school? He must be a great chef, with a name tag that clearly says ‘Bob’ but there he is, introducing himself as,

“Hi! I’m Kogare… Pop! And I think I was supposed to say that I broke this door.”

… And now I know why Fox-Face wants a copy of this film while he is attending Part 1 of the New Year Kitsune Festival…

When Mammon easily opens the door, Kogare… or Bob… or… Pop? Just has to tackle her for a big hug and squeal out,

“I LOVE YOU!”

“D’aww!” should have been everyone’s response but only Kuro’s was heard over Ginnojo screeching and of course, an epic debate about expressions of affection,

“GAGH! K-k-kogare! Do not touch a lady like that yet! Or profess something that serious until you are of age!”

“What? No! Hug her like you are squeezing the life out of her!”

Fortunately, the actors continue the scene. Unfortunately, it is with this line from Kogare Pop’s mouth that makes you wonder who allowed this writing. Money is on Kuya.

“Did you know my other name ‘Pop’ comes from my great-grandfather Pop pop?”

The critics are not amused, Ginnojo tutting and Kuro making a face like he had just tasted chocolate for the 32nd time,

“Days like these makes me glad I don’t know my lineage.”

“Yeah…”

“Is it just me or is that young gentleman cute?” Miriam tries to note but everyone... and I mean everyone... just has to say,

“It’s just you.”

Miriam and Mammon shrug their shoulders before following Kogare Pop into the building. They stand at the edge of the room, unsure where to sit. Other students wander in and keep themselves busy chit-chatting.

“Where… is the Colonel we were promised to romance for fried chicken? Even now we are stuck with cheese fries… nothing can make up for these soggy… Oh my gosh, so CUTE!!!”

Kuro only stops when he sees a scruffy-looking cat taking his place at a podium at the front of the class, the smallest chef hat on his head. Head Instructor and CEO of UCS: AL is here everyone! Nachi taps his paw against the wooden surface to gather attention… although Kuro is already cooing over the little hat on the nekomata’s head and even Ginnojo smiles a bit in approval.

Out of nowhere, the wind begins to rush around everyone as a swirl of cherry blossom petals fill the air inside the classroom despite it being in the middle of winter in Japan. To be more accurate, the petals are… Kuya’s feathers dyed pink much to Kuro’s delight,

“Nice effects! I kinda wanna play with them now! Guess I better wait for Kuya to fly and leave some behind next time...”

“Wait, the cherry blossoms are blooming for them? Where and when are they?”

A hushed murmur rolls through the classroom as HE walks down the aisle of desks. Suddenly, the room is sweltering. And there… we have Oji as the one, the only…

Colonel Sanders!

...

“I’m confused… are we supposed to find him handsome?”

“Did Oji just reveal his true aged appearance or did he just dye his hair white?”

“His eyeliner is as thick as his actual eyes and even thicker than his actual eyebrows and spectacle frames.”

All those statements were slowly cracking the fried chicken skin, with Ginnojo’s final casual observation really roasting Oji’s self-esteem. Nevertheless, the show must go on with the main chef and… love interest... helping the two audience members crack open the ranch. We shall now divulge in a bit of ASMR… ASMRanch as we massage Colonel Sander’s arm that is as thick as his neck. See how he flexes...

“OH GOD MAKE IT STOP!” Kuro squirms.

“FUTABA!!! I mean, Mammon, right, Mammon… MAMMON DON’T MIX WITH SUCH FILTH!”

… We are changing scenes already? Oh, ok, suit yourself.

Here, he wields the spork, his eyeliner game suddenly aligned…

“NO…!!!”

“It… is… rectangular. A rectangular spork.”

“Foon.”

Did that earn a… Kentucky-fried chuckle?

What’s Kentucky? Also, you broke character.

Think this play is broken. Oh, next scene...

The Colonel makes a delicious array of food items in the cafeteria...

“What kind of cafeteria has flowers and a fancy atmosphere?”

“Not Milk Hall Raccord except for the flowers.”

The Mac and Cheese falls flat on the ground, along with Oji’s chef hat,

“THAT’S IT! THE COLONEL QUITS!”

…

Ok, I’m going to resume while Ginnojo eats the rest of the food Oji has left...

Yeah.

And so, the wisest Satori Seer, on behalf of his boss, buries the abominable script and the actually-kinda-nice-art-if-it-wasn't-about-fried-chicken romance.

Hey, should we bury this camera?

WHAT?! AFTER ALL THAT WE’VE BEEN THROUGH???

Ok, ok, we won’t. Besides, there’s still Valentine's day if this show hits more than 1 view.

… Why the 1 view benchmark?

Cus… apparently, there was a dish here that wasn’t revealed here that would work great for a Valentine's Day episode.

… At least my brother can eat it.

Epilogue

For some reason, we have noticed a foreigner digging up the manuscript. He even paid Oji for it. Said it might be the next biggest thing in America for an even weirder reason?

Ginnojo is still eating the whole menu. Kuro has shared the magic of fried chicken with the rest of the troupe and occassionally, the circus-theatre guest. Unfortunately, it is during one of these stunts that a fried chicken cracked the lens. Even more unfortunate, the grease from the fried chicken seeped through the components and short-circuited everything.

So the only thing hotter than Colonel... is everything. Let’s hope we never see anything like this even in the 21st century.

Epilogue to the Epilogue

My grandparents sure were naive.

23 notes · View notes

cecilspeaks · 5 years

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154 - The Heist, part 2

You have orbited the sun. You have been to the Milky Way galaxy. You have seen the moon. You are an astronaut. Welcome to Night Vale.

The Sheriff’s Secret Police announced today that they have no new leads into the ongoing investigation of the robbery at the Last Bank of Night Vale. The three people who stormed into the bank, held the staff and single customer at gunpoint, but did not at first even ask for any cash from the registers’ drawers. And yet in only a few minutes, and with no damage to or forced entry into the vault, they had managed to steal millions of dollars from it. Sheriff Sam described the details of the robbery as follows.

The robbers entered the bank repeatedly shouting “This is a robbery” and waving their guns around. After a minute or so, teller Genevieve Daly finally asked: “Do you want me to give you money?” “Um, yes,” the robbers decided. “We want you to give us money.” “How much money?” Genevieve asked. “How much do you have?” the robbers replied. Genevieve then had to count the money in her till, which took a while, because bank protocol requires that tellers count the money multiple times, until the total amount matches twice in a row. But on her second count, Genevieve was two dollars off from her first, so she had to start over. “Hang on,” she told the masked intruders, “gotta do it again.” “No worries, the robbers said, truly looking like they were not worried. Customer Joel Eisenberg, who had dropped face down on the floor the moment guns were drawn, immediately handed over his wallet to the robbers. “What’s this for?” the robbers asked Joel. “You’re robbers, aren’t you?” Joel said, careful not to look directly into their eyes. “I’m giving you my money, not trouble.” “Cool, cool,” the robbers said without looking in the wallet. Genevieve’s manager, Susan Willman, stood behind her new employee nervously explaning to the thieves, “I don’t have access to the vault. I-I-I don’t know the combination.” “That’s fine,” the robbers said. The security guard on duty that day and every day for the last 50 years was Jesse McNeil. Jesse does not carry a gun, so he couldn’t intervene, but he has always been known for his friendly charm and grace. He tried the old “kill them with kindness” approach by complimenting the fine work the robbers were doing. “I understand you’re robbing our bank,” Jesse said. The robbers cooed and said, “What a nice thing to say, old man, thank you.” “You can’t tell because we are wearing plastic masks of former US presidents,” said the robber with the face of Richard Nixon, “but we are blushing, kind sir.” Within minutes, the Sheriff’s Secret Police had arrived. “Who called the police?” the robbers asked, but without urgency, as if it was the first table read of a pilot TV script. “I did not,” Susan and Genevieve said at the same time. “I left my phone in my car,” Joel said from the floor. “I am sitting in a chair by the door,” Jesse said and the robbers guffawed at the audacity of this old man, so highly complimenting himself. “Well we have to take hostages now,” the robber said and soon, the police had entered the bank. There was a brief shootout with no injuries, and the robbers were apprehended and the hostages freed shortly thereafter. There was also a fire that engulfed the front of the bank, which helped their efforts to arrest the perpetrators, but police do not understand how it started. They believed it was a diversion, during which time the criminals were able to empty the vault. But they have no leads yet on where this money was taken or how they got into the vault.

The only other person in the bank that day was vice president Steve Carlsberg, who was not taken hostage, because he had accidentally locked himself in his office. Oh, Steve. Steve said that he eventually kicked his door open, breaking his foot in the process. Oh, Steve! He got free, but only after the criminals had been arrested and the fire extinguished.

None of the three robbers is talking to the police, even after their HBO privileges were taken away from them, so the sheriff is asking anyone in Night Vale with information about this heist to contact him immediately. You can do this by calling the Sheriff’s Secret Police secret tip line, which can be reached by just speaking aloud. They are one of the several organizations that have universal access to your phone’s mic and camera.

I talked to Carlos today. He’s been running his experiments over at my sister Abby’s new house, in an old storage shed out back because, well his laboratory is under renovations and he was making such a huge mess over here with all of his chemicals staining everything. Abby is, of course, married to Steve Carlsberg who is home from the hospital with the cast on his foot. Carlos told me Steve is fine. He is having a hard time adjusting to crutches and he’s still shaken by the whole experience. But he’s focused on rebuilding the bank and getting everyone back to work. He’s been inviting his employees over for lunch this week, to keep everyone on task for reopening the bank, and to treat them to his famous medium rare rosemary chicken recipe.

Carlos said he had met Susan Willman several times before. “She’s delightful,” Carlos said, which I’m sure I misread. He’s also met Jesse before too. “Oh, he’s always over there, real nice guy,” Carlos said. “He once told me, ‘you’re a scientist’, and it was the kindest thing anyone’s ever said to me. So I showed him my lab and just talked his ear off about my doorless fridge project. Jesse got so excited he had to leave after only 15 minutes.” Carlos said that since the robbery, though, Jesse has not looked as cheerful or healthy. Jesse looks sick, like he’s nauseated.

Carlos said he joined the crew for lunch today and cheered them all up with funny stories about science, but he’s taking a break from his experiments and should be home early today. Carlos ran out of the chemicals he needed to continue his work, and has to wait a few more days to get more. “I thought I has plenty of it,” Carlos said, “I calculated exactly how much I needed, but it wasn’t near enough. Well, this is why I studied science instead of math. “Anyway, Steve’s going to be fine,” Carlos said. “I love you.” And I said, “I love you too.” You might think that last part wasn’t necessary for the news story, but it was. Love is the most important news story.

The Sheriff’s Secret Police have announced a breakthrough in their bank robbery investigation. They’ve been interviewing witnesses and combing through their notes and evidence, and they think they have figured out exactly what happened at the bank. They’re planning a full report later today. They had the report ready to go now, but right when they started the press conference, they realized that they probably should make an arrest first, and also because in their excitement to make this announcement, every single person on the police force showed up, leaving the abandoned mine shaft where they keep prisoners unattended, which is probably fine because the cells are all completely locked, but - wow, you never know, right? Better safe than sorry. “Hoo wee,” the representative from the Secret Police said, “We really should go check on that jail. My bad!”

And now a word from our sponsors. Today’s show is brought to you by Budweiser. Have you ever wondered about that house at the end of your street, the one with the windows boarded up? The one that does ever receive sunshine? The one with the incongruous Victorian architecture in your otherwise ranch style tract home suburb? Have you ever dared your friends to spend a night in that house? And they did it, because they don’t like being called weak, and then they re-emerged the next day completely normal as if nothing had happened, only something did happen? Like you couldn’t tell at first because your friend was like, “It was just a house, totally boring”, but you started noticing weird things in their behavior, like they suddenly were fluent in Romanian and they would whisper it to someone you could not see? And then there was that time your friend laughed for 10 straight minutes, and you did not know why, never learned why, and when they finished laughing, all of the trees in your neighborhood were dead? Well, we here at Budweiser know exactly what made your friend laugh, and we know what happened in the house that night. And some day, you will know it. but not today. No, not today. Budweiser: Be glad today is not the day.

The bank robbery earlier this month has understandably shaken customer confidence. So vice president of the Last Bank of Night Vale, Steve Carlsberg, has called a press conference to address public concerns over the security of their bank accounts and investments. Here’s Steve’s statement.

Steve Carlsberg: First I wanna say thank you to all of my valiant and valuable employees. They faced down danger, and without their bravery, we might all be much less fortunate. To Susan Willman, my dear friend: thank you for your leadership under such duress. To Genevieve, our newest employee: you deserve the quickest raise we’ve ever given out, and I promise it won’t always be like this. And to Jesse: you protected our bank for nearly 50 years, and your training finally paid off. Thank you for your service to our safety. And Joel Eisenberg, our lone customer, who stared down those monsters and did not give an inch: to you I say thank you.

I want the people of Night Vale and the customers of the Last Bank to know that we have your security in mind. We are cooperating with the Secret Police, and while this crime is not completely resolved, no customer has lost a single dollar of their savings. We are well insured, and I guarantee you [muffled] all protections are in place.

Cecil: But while Steve Carlsberg was talking, the Sheriff’s Secret Police returned to finish their announcement from earlier.

Steve: Wait, I’m not done yet!

Cecil: Seeing that Steve had claimed the podium in their disorganized absence, the Secret Police had to stand at the back of the room and wait impatiently. Their feet tapping, arms folded, each of them exhaling deeply and intermittently, one of them groaning aloud, “Is he done yet? Ugh.”

Steve: OK, yes, but…

Cecil: One of them staring demonstrably at the clock.

Steve: ..I signed up for this time slot at the podium and no one was here when I arrived, so I’d like to finish. [pause] Are we good? OK, fantastic. So uh, where was I? Oh, I was trapped in my office! I regret that I was not standing with my brave staff during this terrible event, but see, I think someone barred my door to prevent me from coming out there, really letting those robbers have it! I’m a nice guy, but not when my family is in danger. And these people, Genevieve, Susan, Jesse – they are my family. Joel and every other bank customer is my family, and I would do anything, anything, to protect them if they were threatened.

Cecil: Just then, the Secret Police – did you know that a group of police officers is called an obstinency of cops? [ahem] Marched to the podium declaring: “Four o’clock, your time’s up.” Two officers grabbed the mic shouting “Dibs” simultaneously, and then had to play rock, paper, water torture to see who got to speak.

Steve: Hey, hey watch it buddy! I-I-I mean officer. Sorry, uh…

Cecil: The police then announced they had in fact left all of the cells at the abandoned mine shaft locked earlier today, but somehow the three bank robbers escaped. Their cell was still locked and no tunnels or holes were found, yet the three were completely gone. “Dang it,” the police spokesperson said. “The important thing is we tried our best. Anyway,” they continued, “we’re proud to say that we have made an important breakthrough in the bank heist case. We have made a new arrest of the person we believe responsible of the theft at the Last Bank of Night Vale.

Steve: Oo, that’s great!

Cecil: The police then turned to Steve Carlsberg and said: “We have arrested our prime suspect in this conspiracy: Steve Carlsberg.”

Steve: What?

Cecil: The police handcuffed Steve. Oh, Steve…

Steve: No! (--) I didn’t (--) [yelping, inaudible]

Cecil: And led him outside to the back of a squad car. Listeners, I-I-I, I wish I could tell you I’m happy that the police think they have solved this bank robbery, but I cannot tell you that, this is not right. Steve would never. [sighs] While I sit with my feelings, you will sit With the weather.

[“Only One Star” by Ann https://soundcloud.com/carlitta-ann]

Sheriff Sam talked to reporters. These reporters were confused and angry, upset that such a good man, their brother-in-law in fact, could be confused for a master criminals. The Sheriff said the robbery of the bank vault required inside knowledge, someone who worked at the bank, someone who knew the combination of the vault, and could get the money without any damage to the vault, walls or door. Steve is the only employee present who knew the combination. The frustrated, enraged reporters then asked what happened to the money. If Steve stole the money, as they said, surely the police must have recovered it. Sheriff Sam said it’s clear the money has been spent on luxury. The suspect, Steve Carlsberg, bought a brand new house with a storage shed even, the most obvious symbol of opulence. “But he closed on that house weeks ago,” the infuriated reporters stated. “How could he have paid for something before he had the money?” The Sheriff then held up a life-sized promotional cardboard cutout featuring the text “Great mortgage rates are inside of you”. The Sheriff said: “He used something called a mortgage, and elaborate financial scheme where you don’t have to pay until later, a brilliant and evil ploy for bank robbers.” “Mortgages are normal, I have a mortgage,” the displeased reporters responded. “Maybe you’ll be arrested next,” the Sheriff spat. “Also, Steve Carlsberg bought a fancy car for his daughter. He even upgraded the vehicle with hand controls for braking and acceleration. We could tell right there we was flaunting his stolen wealth.” “She’s in a wheelchair,” the disgusted reporters snapped back. “Those controls are necessary and standard.” The Sheriff shrugged and said: “You say tomato, I say criminal.” And with that, they stepped away, smug in their arrest of this innocent man.

I didn’t know what to do, so I called Carlos. He said he was coming home early today, but I haven’t seen him yet. He didn’t answer his phone, so I called my sister Abby. She was understandable upset about her husband’s arrest. I told her I would do everything in my power as an investigative journalist to vindicate Steve, even if it means starting a podcast. She sighed and said: “I know.” When I asked if Carlos was still at her house, she said: “He’s gone.” “Oh good. I’ll see him soon then,” I replied. “No,” Abby said, “You won’t. the police were just here questioning me and Janice. Then they took Carlos with them to the station. They said they’re not done with their investigation.

Listener, stay tuned next for a song and language you have never heard, written in a key not on any scale, played in a time signature that changes with each measure.

Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: The gum you like is out of style again.

#welcome to night vale #wtnv #wtnv transcripts #episode 154 #the heist part 2 #the heist

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partnersrelief · 4 years

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Remembering civil war: Hsa Hay Say’s story

Hsa Hay Say is a man of few words; when he chooses to speak, it’s because he has something worth saying. I asked him about his past and the significant events that shaped him and received heartbreaking and thoughtful responses.

Born the middle child of seven siblings to a farming family in a small Karen village, Hsa Hay Say had a peaceful childhood… until his village was attacked in August of 2006.

“The most significant event in my life has been a civil war. This childhood memory still influences me now.

I still remember, one morning my mother packed up all of our clothes as my father listened to the radio. She woke me up at 4 a.m., then told me we [had] to move at 6 a.m. I didn’t know what would happen. My parents gathered some food, materials, and rain coats.

We ate a hurried breakfast at 5 a.m. After breakfast, my mother fed the chickens and pigs; it was still dark.

Though it was raining heavily outside, we had to move for our safety. My father and mother carried huge loads on their backs. My mother asked me to carry my own suitcase and an empty container. I felt pity for my parents, but I could not help them carry more things.

As we left the house, I heard many noises. Pigs, goats, and roosters were making noise and I heard the sounds of AR-16s, AK-47s, and other bigger guns.

As we walked, many of the villagers and my relatives were headed towards the same destination.

The Yousling River was getting bigger because of the rain. We followed each other along the way. When we reached the river bank, some people had made two enormous rafts for transportation. My mother told me and one of my younger sisters to be careful. My whole body was soaked; I was shaking and sobbing. We waited in the rain for the raft, as there were about 200 people waiting to cross the river.

I still heard the sound of guns when we crossed the river. Fortunately, we reached the other side safely.”

On the other side of the river, Hsa Hay Say’s family waited in fear for the violence to subside.

“Every night, the village chief told us to “sleep with eyes wide open” because Burmese troops were close to us.

A month later Burmese troops had retreated from his village, but Hsa Hay Say’s family still couldn’t return home because land mines had been planted near his village.

When they finally did return, many of Hsa Hay Say’s classmates didn’t; they instead went to refugee camps for safety.

In 2007, Hsa Hay Say went to Umphiem Mai Refugee camp to study and live with his uncle. He was nine years old. Four years later, while still in Umphiem, he heard tragic news from home:

His village had been burned to the ground by the Burmese military.

Thankfully, his family had fled and were safe.

Later that year, his mother passed away from illness.

After finishing his school year, he returned to Karen State to be with his family. “I was happy to finally be with my family, but my beloved mother was gone.”

Having experienced war firsthand, Hsa Hay Say is particularly passionate about nonviolence and the peacemaking process.

“This significant experience made me who I am today. I can forgive my enemies, but it is hard to forget that memory. I do believe in non-violence and education because I’m a lucky man who had experienced [war] and survived.”

Today he studies at the Karen GED Program in order to attend University and become a journalist. He dreams about attending the National University of Singapore.

“I am determined to become a journalist because I would love to interview people about their life suffering, write realistic stories of events, and travel to educate people about nonviolence where revolutions are happening.

My life was saved so that I could tell the truth, and now I stand firmly with my Karen people against the people who are controlling us, the dictatorship. Civil wars are complex to fix, and I haven’t finished my education yet.”

Hsa Hay Say cares deeply for his people and wants to see a future where Karen children do not know war. He believes that nonviolence is key to the peacemaking process:

“To find the solution to civil war, we must act differently than our opponents treat us. We have to think beyond the causes of civil wars.”

A talented writer and irrepressible sponsor of peace, Hsa Hay Say has a long and beautiful road ahead of him.

This post is part of a series focusing on one of Partners’ newest projects, the Karen General Education Development Program. The goal of the K-GED Program is to equip Karen students to pass the GED test in order to attend university and become educated leaders in the Karen community.

#Myanmar #Karen GED program #Partners Relief #Partners Relief & Development #toloveistoact #education #Karen #Karen people #Burma

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perfectclassic · 5 years

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I remember back when I played football in high school. But let’s start from the beginning.

I played pop warner when I was like 7 years old. I was extremely shy and small and didn’t really get much playing time because of that. But I was fast, and that went overlooked too. I played for the Anaheim Lions. I remember a lot of moments...wow... -I wore a red tank top to the first day and was late. -I remember our running back...he was light skinned, half hispanic half white kid. I remember thinking at the time that he reminded me of the kid on our fridge who our family sponsored in Ecuador. -One day in practice, I ran down that star player and the coach was amazed that he got caught. He asked who got him and I raised my hand, and then the coach said something about angles and tackling as if it wasn’t just my raw speed. I was so overlooked, but I was way too shy to speak up about anything. -Before a game when we were all lined up to go out to the field, I don’t remember how it was brought up, but some teammates were talking about who was faster, and I think I spoke up and said I was faster than someone, that someone being “Lupe”, and everyone said he was faster, but I knew the truth. So we actually raced to a tree and back and I won.

Then I played flag football in 6th grade at Calvary Chapel Downey. We had coach Gallegos. He’d always say, “Alright, guys, now check it out...” haha, my best friend at the time and still to today, Josh, does the best impression of coach doing that exact quote. Wow next memory rush incoming... -I remember Dominic...wow...now I’m just thinking about all of 6th grade... but let me try and stay on track here... -I remember one of the first days, everyone was really hyped that I was out there and gonna play. I was a new student in 5th grade, and my athleticism, sport IQ, and top tier speed was evident at recess and lunch year round. So anyways, we did this drill where you had to juke a guy 1v1 and get thru the flags. And when it was my turn everyone was watching with anticipation, and I could feel it. And the coach was like all interested because word had gotten around from some of the other students I guess, so yeah haha. Then my flag got pulled everytime in the drill lol. Like I couldn’t utilize my speed cuz the boundries were so narrow and this was my first time wearing flags (you have to juke a certain way to be effective). -I remember Elijah Denton was our punter. -I was named 3rd string running back at beginning of the season, but I got the ball the most. But we had a lot of good players and we went undefeated... -until we lost in the championship in a fluky game with possible ref bias to a team we had beaten before. -I had a long touchdown run along the sideline and the ref called it back saying I stepped on out of bounds and I remember I was upset about that. -I got MVP at the awards ceremony.

Then I played flag football in jr. high. Wow memory flood... So it was 7th and 8th grade together on a team. This is still at Downey... My goodness I’m having so many memories of jr. high now. I’ll have to write about some of these memories another time. But for football when I was in 7th grade, I remember... -once, my girlfriend, Kristine, came to one of my games. We kinda became a thing in 6th grade. OH MY GOSH, I’m remembering so much now. I’ll have to write about this later too. ANYWAYS, her mom took a picture of us together at that game and I still have that picture. She was so much taller than me haha! But I think it’s normal for girls to start getting taller before guys, right? Especially around that age. -I remember our head coach, Coach Jones. Did not like him. Not a nice person at all. My talent went overlooked. I was still very shy. -I remember intercepting a ball that was thrown to his son in practice; Tyler was his name, and he started pouting like it was pass interference (lol no way), and his dad starting telling me, “you can’t go through the receiver...” blah blah blah. -I remember Eric Toscano, and how I would carpool with him and vice versa since they lived kinda close to us. -The coaches really got hyped on Eric one practice in the middle of the season cuz he was doing well and then they made him a starter. -I was pretty much overlooked. Underutilized talent per usual, partly because I’m so quiet and stuff. -Mr. Mendez was a coach too. His son was also on the team, 8th grader. Mr. Mendez was nice. -During the season I was getting really bad pains in my ankles and knees and my doctors diagnosed it as growing pains. I remember taking tylenol grape chewable tablets before practice. -I just sat in my chair for a few minutes thinking about this memory, wondering also if I should even share it, but I think I will. I even cried at one practice because we were all getting yelled at and doing sprints and my ankle was in so much pain, but I was too shy to say anything and plus Coach Jones is not a nice, approachable, understanding person. So it got to a point where I just went down on one knee and grabbed my ankle and I started crying a bit. -There was a time where Ian was like my new friend. He was an 8th grader, super funny, and for whatever reason, he decided he wanted to be friends with me. I was thrilled with this new friendship to be honest. I remember after the end of one of our games he was like, “Where’s Maxx?!” so we could celebrate the win together. And then later when I was home, my dad asked me who that guy was that was looking for me after the game. -But that friendship with Ian was short lived. It seemed to me to be a thing that he did often. He would move from person to person like every 2 weeks. I don’t know if that was intentional or what, but I did observe that. -I remember a play I made on a kickoff where the other team did this lateral across the field on their return and I saw it coming all-day; not because it was obvious, I just have high football IQ (just being honest lol). And I pulled the guy’s flag soon as he caught the ball. And I went back to the sideline and Coach Jones gave me a high five and said “Way to stay home baby!”. And he was right, I stayed home just like I should have. But in my mind, I was thinking I should have been more aggressive and tried to intercept the lateral, because I saw it coming. Had I been more comfortable in the coaching staff knowing who I was and in my actual ability, I probably would’ve had the confidence to pull the trigger and not be afraid at taking shots at big plays. -Once at the end of the game, I was put in the game because we were gonna win and we were just running the ball to kill the clock. I was hoping to at least get the ball, get some handoffs. But I didn’t. All went to Aaron. I was upset. Then when I went to the sideline my bestie Josh told me that one of the coaches suggested to give me the ball for a play and Coach Jones said “No, he’ll screw it up.” -I think our banquet was at a Shakey’s. Ok, now 8th grade football was an absolute delight. It was probably the most fun year of football in my life. I just remembered, where our games and practice field were. We’d have to cross the street together at the crosswalk every day after school. I have a lot of memories on that field. So yeah, 8th grade football was filled with so much laughter with my best friends. -I remember having a race to see who was the fastest and I was so happy to hear it. So everyone raced and I won. But there was one kid who was actually not too far behind, and that was Joshua Guerra, a 7th grader. I remember him showing everyone his six pack in the locker room lol. But I went and talked to him after practice in the locker room and telling him he’s fast and stuff and he was pretty nice and polite, but he said he was surprised, and I could tell it bothered him (confirmed true). But I get it, I had been an elite fast kid my whole life. To lose a race would be test the ego was not used to. -We had Coach Hearron (I just looked up his name to see if I was spelling it correctly (I was), and I came across this: “his favorite shout out from the WORD is ‘MARANATHA!’”. So true! haha) as our head coach. -And Coach Christie. Josh and I would always mock his odd throwing motion with the full extended follow through haha. -Mr. Christie taught us about Thomas Hooker. -I got the ball a lot this year. So did Josh. Micah was our QB. We dominated everyone. -On one of the rival teams, there was a kid that looked like a chicken. Like he literally could have chicken dna like infused with human dna. Idk if that makes sense, but that’s what he looked like. -We won the championship. I remember Mr. Mendez, who had been a coach last year, said to me and another teammate in our class (he was a math teacher) after we had won the championship, “Wasn’t it easier though this year with the competition?”. And yes, it was, he wasn’t wrong. The team that we had lost to the year before was a really good team, but their school now had changed their jr. high football program to tackle, so they weren’t around anymore. I feel like I’ve written enough for this post. I’ll have to talk about high school football in it’s own post another time. Thanks for reading.

#glue #island sweet skunk #i actually did a post

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