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#bc she is. quite frankly. MY GIRL!!!
forgaeven1 · 4 months
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madge is considerably "plain and boring" but only because she's never really lived and she holds her emotions so tightly to her chest because it's what she's been taught and instructed by her dad and i dont think she's ever really felt real or alive and she literally is the way she is because she does not have an identity nor is she encouraged to develop one and when u don't have an identity, how can u truly perceive anything properly, so u learn how to be quiet, and u learn how to repress, and you learn to take everything and put it inside and live with it
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poptartmochi · 7 months
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oh i finally realized why the agathos are 💢💢💢 towards vergil 🤏🏻🕶️😳
#besides the whole wanting to go to hell thing being counter to their own beliefs and morals#because you know i think. given the context of being a Son of Sparda. there's an obvious and logical desire to know your father better#so i think the agathos Could empathize would that. many of them probably Would empathize with that!#so that overall argument falls flat bc the agathos Overall dislike vergil. why would All of Them go 😒😒 at him?#well it finally clicked :] if you sacrifice your right to peaceful eternal slumber to confine One Fucking Guy in time prison forever#and dumb people keep showing up to your time prison because the One Fucking Guy was notorious for hoarding secret knowledge#and these people keep getting killed in pursuit of evil knowledge + thus fueling the One Fucking Guy's ability to some day break the chains#of the time prison and invoke calamity yet again. Well! wouldn't it be quite frankly Alarming#if some dude with MegaBlood™️ that everyone can smell from a mile away waltzed in... get this!! ALSO in search of the evil knowledges#thus kind of threatening at its very core the exact thing you sacrificed your human soul and afterlife to..#and despite your big red warning signs to LEAVE he just pushes further and further into your time prison and closer + closer to The One#Fucking Guy.. it's one thing for his travelling buddy to do that bc whatever 🙄 she's just a human after all. it will take like 400 more of#her to break the time prison.. but this one guy is like.. 500 of her in one convenient little package! fucked up!!#there is some vergil apologism amongst the agathos but overall they're like 😑😑😑 *skyrim guard voice* NEVER should've come here!!!! 💢#i imagine a lot of them are like girl why would you want to go BACK to hell??? your dad ABANDONED that place!! 😭😭 0/10 reviews on Yelp!!#also we will Not Address the growing vampiric themes in the fprsq.. 😶 it is not my fault that arkham's little ritual relied so heavily on#blood and i based Many Things off that ritual! 🤧🤧😝#sriracha.txt#fprsq#that is her official tag now ☺️ gioia deserves her own tag after all :]
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Soo thankful my ra is great this year and has both common sense and critical thinking. Genuinely one of my favorite people in college
#i have to unfortunately deal with housing things all I want is to be terminally online again but nooo I got stuff to deal with#my roommate recorded our conversation the other night without my permission which is unfortunately legal in this state#however quite frankly it’s probably better for me that she did bc i handled her meltdown rather well#and god knows she loves to lie. she’s been asked by 2 RAs now for the recording she took#and so far hasn’t given it. so either she lied (shocker) and didn’t actually record it or she knows it makes her look really bad#also fun fact! she had a friend on the phone and I think they were the one recording it. if they were that isn’t legal which I mean#housing wants to kick her out so bad that’d be the final straw#but she decided to demand a roommate agreement change which I’ll happily oblige to so I get to do that at some point#honestly?? girl is digging herself in a hole. p sure her goal was to scare me into just not making sound so we wouldn’t need a meeting?#but like. we gotta meet with the housing coordinator which is great bc they know who she is and how she is#i really don’t think she expected me to go out of my way to get a meeting set up. also?? she gets mad when I’m up til like 2 or later#last night she was up til 7am. I guess only she’s allowed to be a hypocrite lol#objectively all the drama she tries to start should either really anger me or worry me or something at least#nah. this is pretty funny. her entitledness and drama is digging her so far into a hole she’s transferring next semester#and the best part is everyone in housing knows her. can’t stand her shit. i was talking to a friend in class and she tells her friend#her friends like oh who is she? i tell her. she goes oh that explains it. and I’m like oh u know her? and she goes. I’m an ra. i know her#like girl!! if you’re so universally hated why do u keep this up???#like girl will call the ra on call for any minor inconvenience at all#she hasn’t since finding out calls r logged tho lol which is like oh man! u r self aware!#i have no tolerance for bs and man bestie is made of it#cannot wait for this meeting genuinely excited. bc she’s gonna make up stuff that I can easily defend myself. and then she’s gonna#essentially make demands that I can’t make noise after a certain time. and say if anyone agrees it’s discrimination over sensory issues#she’s already said that fun fact. i have sensory issues too. they have equal importance in this agreement#but like. it has to be a fair agreement. and I’m not required to sign another contract#so really she’s going into this meeting to be a problem and she’s gonna crash and burn. it’ll be a firework show#soup talks#watching bestie experience karma in real time
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mrfoox · 2 years
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Okay it's offical, Jonathan is changing work and I won't see him any more 😔
#miranda talking shit#Janathan is such a special guy like... Truly dog vibes. He can be a little ... Prone to messing up simple things but its impossible to be#Mad at him. And always happy and kind. Hes helped me so much... Like i love oliver and Magnus a hecking lot but Jonathan has been a stable#Help for me and i could rely on him (even if he messed things up haha). I really wish him the best#Im kinda anxious bc hes one of my 3 favorite people who i prefer to come by to help me... Now im down to 2 again and i assume it'll#Lead to having more strangers come by to fill his place /: ive met quite a few different people obviously but none of them ive clicked with#Like oliver/magnus/Jonathan... I mean wilma was my girl but she quit last year 😔 but outside of my worries im glad for him#He deserves good things. I think hes one of the ones that actually like this job a lot. Hes been in the homecare business 80% of his work#And hes said more than once he likes it. Working with people is one of the rewarding things. I hate that its so badly paid though and#So stressful and demanding. They deserve double the pay at least. Ive only worked as a student with my mom for 3 months but even by only#Seeing that i can tell how hard the worj is. And then i hear all the shit they have to deal with its insane. People working in homecare#Especially. Like you need the social skills to deal with all kinds of people. Some are dement some are aggressive or other things. Then you#Will have to be cleaning a lot and you'll have to know how to do it decently. Making food is also common. You'll be dealing with medication#Heavy lifting is also not uncommon. Some people will need help to get up from bed and get showers. Not uncommon for their homes not to be#Installed with lifts or such to help with the lifting. Like its in my opinion one of the most demanding jobs around . And the people doing#It gets paid shit... For all thats expected and frankly demanded by the workers the pay is not even close to being fair#I know all healthcare workers have that issue basically but man homecare/older care... Those are extra unfair imo#Anyone who doesnt have respect for those workers I'll personally beat with a bat :)
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prettyinsophie · 5 months
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burning desire
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Synopsis: With Abby away at some party and your body aching and asking for release, you can’t help but touch yourself while pretending it’s your roommate.
warnings: top abby x virgin (lowkey loser) reader, fingering (r receiving), mentions of strap, squirting, r gets caught by abby, sex toys.
2.9k words
a/n: i’m going to pretend this isn’t way too specific. it’s my first time posting here so im sorry in advance if there are any mistakes, english is not my first language and i wrote this in a rush bc im going insane😇
ofelia si te sale esto no lo leas‼️
There was something utterly wrong with you.
As a girl, you went through your awful womanhood cycle and all that. You never entirely understood how all of it worked, you just ovulated when you were extremely horny and wanted to either kill yourself or everyone around you when on your period. That much you knew about your own body and every other girl went through the same.
The problem was you’ve been on fucking heat for over a month.
Your hormones were a mess, the sexual frustration consumed your being and you couldn’t find a solution. You were a virgin, and quite frankly, an awkward person so it was hard for you to even initiate small talk without quickly making it uncomfortable with your lack of social skills.
You tried distracting yourself throughout the day by attending your classes, doing homework, scrolling through Tiktok, and exercising. Even if you ended up beat by the end of the day, that damn aching between your legs would not leave you alone, and you had to touch yourself to at least make it less awful.
Unfortunately, you didn’t live alone. You shared an apartment with Abby, your high school friend who so happened to get into the same college as you. You didn’t mind, of course, you liked Abby, and now that she was grown and muscular you couldn’t deny she was a total eye-snack. Thing was, you were jealous of whoever the fuck she brought to your shared apartment, Abby must be some sort of goddess if she could make girls scream like that, begging her not to stop while choking in their tears, the bed loudly creaking to the point the blonde had to buy a new mattress. You resented it. You had to settle with sex toys while she fucked almost every week.
The amount of batteries you had in your drawer was embarrassing. Every night you had to abuse your pussy while thinking it was a certain girl doing it for you, had to get good at being silent because you’d throw yourself off the window if Abby ever heard you. Your clit ended red and puffy after an hour of nonstop intimate time with yourself, your eyes swollen because the scenarios in your head were so intense you cried while thrusting a six-inch vibrator inside you, touching that sweet spot it took some time for you to master hitting perfectly until your head went numb, and you squirted all over the pink towel you covered the bed with so you wouldn’t wet the pretty covers and sheets you slept in.
You were ashamed of how filthy your fantasies were for a twenty-year-old virgin, it always hit you once you were over, panting heavily in silence while blushing because your private thoughts and desires bugged you.
You hoped it’d all end soon, that maybe your hormones were a bit crazy just because they decided so be in a silly mood. Every girl goes through shit like this. But no. God was testing you, progressively getting needier as the days passed by. Your god-awful gorgeous friend/roommate worsened it whenever you were doing your assignments at the dining table, and she came home from the gym looking so dirty and delicious, your eyes struggling to focus on your laptop screen and not the way her muscles glistened with not-fully-dried sweat and looked like the glazed donuts you loved eating as a sweet treat, the comparison didn’t make sense, but her body made you feel hungry. You were so sexually frustrated you were convinced you had gone insane.
You wished someone would approach and straight up told you to fuck. You’d accept without second thoughts. But it was the real world, as pretty as you were, you still looked awkward and shy. Fuck your life, honestly. Why couldn’t you be dauntless like the girls who flirted with Abby? Touching her biceps while twirling their hair as they looked at her with nothing but lust and confidence. They were embarrassedly bold but they got exactly what they wanted because Abby was a sucker for pretty girls like that, she loved to fuck the cockiness out of them.
You couldn’t help but think about it every day. You were pathetic, imagining how it would feel to be under her, talking you through it, making you lie there and do nothing but take her until your legs turned into jelly and make you forget all about your stupid sex toy collection hidden in a box under your bed.
Anyways.
Tonight was going to be fun. Abby told you a friend of hers would be throwing a party, subtly inviting you, but you didn’t take the hint and told her to have fun, so off she went an hour ago, leaving you alone in your shared apartment.
Eagerly and with your heart thudding, you arranged everything before jumping right into it, at this point it was just as important in your nocturnal ritual as your skincare routine. You had bought a new toy, this one being 7.4 inches and a bit thicker than your other ones, so you were a bit excited to try it, hoping the sensation would help you release more of your frustration.
With a silky pillow under your lower back, you lied in your bed and took a deep breath, your fingers slowly rubbing your clit, making you gasp softly at the familiar but delicious feeling. Your muscles quickly relaxed as you kept circling your needy button. You didn’t need much teasing, you were already wet, arousal sneaking down and making you groan because it was icky.
Lately, you didn’t rely on your hand that much, ever since you figured out the way to hit your G spot, that’s almost all you needed to come. That being said, you took the pink toy in your hand, lining it down your entrance and teasing yourself by lubing the tip of it with your arousal, imagining it was Abby’s strap and spreading your legs. You had to be quiet every time you masturbated, but you were completely alone now and you wanted to treat yourself by taking the liberty to be as loud as you felt like. Pants and whines of desperation filled your room once you started taking inch by inch of the toy slowly. There were nights you straight up wanted to release everything and go to sleep, or nights such as this, where you felt like dragging your orgasm to make it intense and mind-breaking.
“Holy shit.” You whined once the vibrator was deep inside, you closed your eyes and played start to your fake scenarios.
In your wild fantasies, Abby would tease you, keeping her strap in place while circling your clit and making you wait for her to move. So you did that. Little whimpers left your lips while imagining her talking in your ear, whispering sweet encouraging words. You could multitask with no problem at this point, it was routine. You turned on the vibrator, hips jerking at the feeling and your lips hung as you gasped. Thrusting it slowly the fantasies grew steamier, and your cheeks flushed at the sound of your voice doing all those pathetic and pornographic sounds.
It was big. When you bought it you were so cocky about it but you were actually struggling to slide it in and out smoothly, but thankfully you were so wet it only took a few minutes. And so the madness began. In your head, Abby was fucking you with her strap, your hand moving fast and aiming for your sweet spot like your life depended on it.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You whimpered out loud, the buzzing toy hitting the right place inside of you while you kept rubbing your clit clumsily because it felt so good.
You wanted her. Pitiful whines getting caught in your throat when you remembered Abby was far from your apartment, far from your room, and definitely far from your bed. She was probably messing around with another girl at that party. You winced at the thought, feeling like crying as you kept abusing your pussy. Imaginary Abby would slap you and grab your chin so you’d look at her, telling you to stop drifting away from her when she’s right there with you, to not listen to those silly thoughts of yours.
Your therapist would never hear of this.
“Oh my god, Abby! Please, please, please-” You were okay with being loud at this point, whatever you usually blabbered under your breath now resonating on the walls of your room.
Sometimes you wished you had four hands so you could add a little something to your intimate sessions. You wanted to know how it would feel to have her deep inside with her big and strong hand wrapped around your neck, preventing you from breathing properly while praising you. Shit. Your hand moved faster and rougher, seeking for the most realistic sensation possible. Wanting to pretend this was the real Abby pounding into you.
You needed her. Your eyes stung with tears as your chest heaved because the toy was now at the highest setting, hitting your sweet spot oh so deliciously you were even drooling.
With your eyes squinted shut your mind went fuzzy, the scenario pausing for a moment while focusing on the familiar twisting in your tummy and reaching for your orgasm. Abby was calling your name in the distance, you were so into it for a moment you felt worried about how real it went through your ears.
“Yes, yes, yes! Right there, Abby! Plea-se-!”
Your voice cracked. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you choked weak whimpers while squirting all over the towel, so intense even the toy almost flew out of your cunt. Your legs trembled and you panted loudly, riding out your fifth climax of the week. The cold air of your room hit your bare lower body and made you groan because your slick was drying up and you hated the feeling, but you also needed time to recover before cleaning your mess.
After a few moments, you sighed and opened your eyes, slightly leaning onto your side to grab your phone on the nightstand. You froze at the figure of someone standing by your door. Your stomach dropped and you could feel your heart in your throat.
Abby was there, standing with her arms crossed while looking at you with a stare you couldn’t decipher. No. This could not be happening to you. No!
“Abby-“ You sobbed, the shame betraying you by making you cry.
“How long?” She asked, her blue eyes staring into your soul even from a further distance. Her voice lower than how she usually talks to you.
“W-What?”
“How long have you wanted me to fuck you?”
The question sent a shiver down your spine. This was definitely not how you imagined it’d play out, not in one of your thousands of wet dreams.
“A while…” You mumbled embarrassed, looking away from her. Thankfully you were only naked from the hips down to your feet, you were wearing an oversized shirt that could cover your most private parts.
Abby seemed pleased with your answer. A heavy and shaky sigh left her nose as she walked to your bed.
“And you do this every night while thinking about me?”
The question (which sounded more like a statement) stabbed your core sharply. You nodded and felt your cheeks blushing in shame.
The bed creaked when she joined you in it, getting on top of you while smirking smugly. Your pretty face was adorned with confusion and embarrassment. Lips puffy from crying and your face dampened and red.
“Poor girl. Had to hear me pleasing other girls instead of you, hm? You should’ve just said so, baby.” She comforted you, brushing her fingers against your cheek, making you shiver at the unfamiliar contact.
“Didn’t want to mess with your innocence, you’re so pure I couldn’t dare break you. That’s why I used whoever wanted to throw themselves at me, but turns out that’s all you wanted all along? Wanted me to make you cry and beg?”
Holy fuck. You thought as you were getting wet again. You almost whimpered because this was the real thing. 4D Abby was on top of you and talking dirty with her husky and alluring voice.
“Yes.”
You hated yourself so much. Just a few moments ago you were so mouthy to her in your fantasy and you couldn’t even form a sentence with the real one. Abby laughed at you as if finding you amusing.
“‘Yes’ what, pretty girl?”
This was it. You were going to go for it.
“I-I want you to…fuck me and make me scream and beg for more.” You stuttered softly, looking into her eyes while batting your lashes because you couldn’t maintain eye contact.
“Yeah? I bet I can do a better job than your toys.” She leaned down, your faces closer than you ever thought they’d get, sucking the air out of your lungs.
You yelped in surprise when her fingers went down your folds, spreading the wetness as she teased your sensitive parts. “So wet, waiting for me to read your mind and touch you, huh? Gotta use your big girl words. C’mon, tell me what you want.”
Her voice melted your brain as her fingers spread your lips, making you gasp and squirm under her. You were too shy for your own good, she knew that as well but that made this more interesting. Abby wanted to see how far she could lead you, and how much control she could have on you.
“Please touch me.” Your voice was breathy and almost weak, feeling her fingers replacing your own was too much.
She circled your throbbing clit, causing you to close your eyes and whine loudly.
“You like that?”
“Y-Yes, so so much, Abby.” Your mouth was getting loose, drunk in pleasure and your head was still dizzy from your previous climax. Abby could feel herself getting wet from your reactions to minimal touch.
Poor little thing, so touch-starved. She thought while continuing to please you.
You mumbled curses and her name under your breath. Hands gripping the covers of your bed tightly because she was the one touching you, you had no control over the speed nor the pressure her fingers had on your sensitive bud. Your legs squirmed as you spread them further so she’d position herself more comfortably between them.
“Want you inside, n-need you inside!” You begged pathetically, looking at her with half-lidded eyes.
Abby couldn’t believe this. This was too good to be true and she couldn’t wait anymore either. She kept boundaries out of respect, she knew you were a virgin and had no experience, and she didn’t want to scare you off with her deprived desires. Yet you were there, asking her with tears in your eyes to fill you up. You were so desperate she wanted to eat you alive.
“‘M gonna use my fingers, doll. Don’t wanna fuck you with the same strap I use with other girls. I’m going to get you your own, and I’m going to fuck this horniness out of you. You’ll only need me.” She whispered in your ear before shoving two of her fingers inside you, gaining a loud whimper from you.
Her fingers were thick and long, she filled you up almost perfectly you didn’t want this moment to end. Your chest raised up and down as you struggled to breathe properly. She moved them in and out, curling them expertly inside your warm walls.
“Faster, please.”
Abby knew once you two were done tonight, every time she’d hear the word ‘please’ from you would be a trigger. She wanted to tease you, drag you to the edge, but she was aware of how frustrated you felt and it was pitiful. So she let you give her orders, just this once though.
She hit it. That magnificent spot of yours that sent you to the moon. You were a moaning mess, hairs sticking to your forehead with sweat while she kept thrusting her fingers forcefully.
“Fuck, Abby! There, holy fuck.” You blabbered, your back arching off the bed, and the pillow under you helped to reach your g spot smoothly. Abby was also panting, even groaning because you were giving her a show. The things she’d do to you from now on, whew, she was going to ruin you.
“So pretty, taking my fingers so well. Want you to come all over them, doll. You think you can do that for me?”
Nodding drastically up and down, she sped up if that was even possible. Your tummy swooped and you didn’t realize you had tears running down your cheeks. Abby’s face was blurry and your eyes struggled to focus. Your hand found her bicep, clawing it with your acrylic nails as you reached the delicious bliss.
“Shitshitshit!”
Moaning Abby’s name and profanities, you came on her fingers and probably her pants as well. You kept squirting while sobbing because you’ve never experienced an orgasm like this one, your legs shaking against your will. Now you were panting, catching your breath and when you opened your eyes and met with hers, reality hit you.
You opened your puffy lips to say something, but Abby cut you off.
“Next time it’ll be my cock.”
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princessbrunette · 4 months
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boarding school by ldr is sooo rafe 💗
kook!reader who just moved back to the obx after her parents moved bc of work, not remembering the Camerons too well but all of her friends are like “rafe this, rafe that..” so ofc she has to see what the hypes all about !!
but!!! getting sososoo disappointed when she’s at a party and he’s all pissy and rude to everyone ! rafe is all heart eyes for her, but she keeps shrugging him off 🙈🫶🏽
cute! 🌸
just watching him in action, seeing the way he interacts with others was enough for you. you’d come to this party to sit back and observe, figure out what all the hype was about — but it seemed all the buzz had been generated over just another stuck up Kook. it was guys like him that gave you all a bad name.
he was rude, not just to guys but to girls too— shrugging them off and sipping his drink when they tried to make a move. it was odd, really. he was gorgeous, you had to admit. but his personality was less than favourable, and your curiosity quickly faded, deciding to just enjoy your night with your friends instead.
you felt his presence next to you before you saw him, saw the colour of his shirt in your peripheral vision looming over you as you pour yourself another drink at the drinks table, eyes lasered in on the red solo cup in your hand making sure not to spill any liquor from the bottle. you mentally prepare yourself to remain composed and dignified, waiting for him to tell you to get the hell out of his way like he did the last person who dared stand where he wanted to stand.
“hi.” he calls over the music instead. you think you must have misheard him, so you ignore it all together. but he leans forward and speaks again. “i feel like i know you from somewhere.”
you turn and look up at him, heart thumping a little and he’s smiling. years are taken off his face when he grins, maybe that’s why he doesn’t do it much— less manly and more boyish. it’s almost sweet, and you would have probably fell for it if you hadn’t been watching him earlier.
“me?” you ask, all wide eyed and it makes him chuckle, nodding. god, he really had an intense stare— like seriously, his eyes haven’t moved from your face since the beginning of this interaction.
“yeah. you.” he surveys you for a moment. “what are you drinking?”
you ignore his question and raise an eyebrow, observing him right back. “you said you know me from somewhere?”
he shifts on his feet, eager and almost skittish like he wants to reach out and touch you or something. rafe briefly stuffs his hands in his pockets instead, so different from the guy you’d been watching all night to the point where you were starting to wonder if he had a twin.
“well yeah. ‘remember faces, y’know?” his lightly brings his finger to his temple in gesture. “uh i— aha,” he cuts himself off with a chuckle, leaning in a little. “i don’t forget the pretty ones.”
you panic a little, because well — it’s rafe cameron, coming onto you, and quite frankly he scares you. so you stare up at him a little dumbly, bottom lip tucked between your teeth before clasping your cup in both hands nervously.
“i dont — i uh— have to go back to my friends now.” you’re meek and it pains you, but you scurry off anyway, barely glancing back. you’d think that would have totally weirded him out, and hoped maybe it was enough to get him to leave you alone — but you couldn’t be more wrong, if anything he was encouraged.
you were constantly reminded of his poor treatment towards others because he stayed near you the whole night, mouthing off about pogues or telling randoms to ‘get the fuck out of his way’ all whilst following you around like a dumb, lovesick puppy. you ignored him at best, brushed him off when he gently took your arm and offered to join a game of suck and blow with you, or even beer pong. each time you rejected him, the more determined he was.
a while later, he gently grabs your arm again and you sigh loudly — sick of his chasing.
“hey i— i just wanna get to know you, a’ight? i’m not a bad guy.” his eyes are a little wide, watery from drinks and whatever else. it rings alarm bells in your head but you stare up at him regardless. maybe it was the drink that had you moving slower.
“you… you are a bad guy! you’re not nice!” it comes out childishly and you hate that for you, even pouting in frustration which makes the corners of his mouth twitch upwards. he thought you were the cutest thing ever, and he had to have you.
“so you’re tellin’ me… all i gotta do is start treating these nobodies nice and you’ll give me a chance?” he raises his eyebrows, ducking his head a little hopefully. you wanna slap him, tell him no and that you see through his little act. but… there’s something charming about him. something that’s drawing you in. what was it about rafe cameron that had everyone up in arms?
“its… definitely a start.” you cross your arms over yourself, sulking. he huffs out a relieved smile, running his fingers over his chin as he stares off, nodding.
“yeah i… i can do that.” he agrees and you stare at him expectedly, putting your wall back up.
“okay… are we done now? can i enjoy my night?” you sass, and he nods, holding his arm out to gesture to the doorway to the room everyone else was in.
“after you.” he drawls, watching you pass him. his eyes don’t leave the back of you, deadset on winning you over— and rafe always gets what he wants.
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pctterswprld · 6 months
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vena amoris
pairing: draco malfoy x slytherin!fem!zabini!reader
request: ok hello hello hello 😵‍💫 i have a request but only if u write for draco!! if not, please do ignore this.
i was kind of brain-rotting about this for a while now, so hear me out even if this might not be the best description ever. T__T
so, reader could be in the same house or not, this isn’t exactly a huge part of the plot. but draco has kind of been crushing on reader for a while, but reader keeps pushing him away—in a sense that they would keep denying draco’s attempts at wooing them, and would constantly reject anything he gets them (firm believer of draco's language being gift giving, at least one of them)
so clearly draco is like so whipped he grows so out of character and gets teased by his peers 😭 the ending is up to you, but i picture this as a fluffy (maybe the pushing away contributes to a bit of an angst factor) fourth or fifth year draco fic. your writing is so muah, by the way 🫂 much love, xx! ~ anon.
word count: 5,269 words (woah)
warnings: FLUFF, reader is blaise's twin (slay), a shit ton of swearing (sorry), theodore nott smoking his iconic cigarettes, reader kissing draco at the end, not proofread!
author's note: IM SO BAD WITH WARNINGS SO PLS LMK IF I MISSED ANYTHING. i kind of included high valyrian (as in the language from game of thrones + house of the dragon) bc im currently in my asoiaf era so YEAH. also, anon, i'm sorry if i botched this, i kind of messed up the end but this has been sitting in my inbox for so long; I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY<3
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AS SNAPE DRONED on about Wit-Sharpening Potions and their advantages, you began fiddling with your silver bracelets, seeming to zone out of the lesson as the thought of dragons entered your mind. Your tongue licked your bottom lip rimmed with strawberry-flavoured gloss whilst you acted as if you were paying attention, flitting your eyes over to the back of Professor Snape’s greasy-haired head.
At this moment in time, you were bored out of your mind. There was nothing more riveting than the words of your historic fiction books, often containing stories about families with the blood of their dragons running through their veins. Instead, you were here in Potions class, preparing for your approaching OWLs, your chin resting in the palm of your hand as your eyelids fought to stay open. You did not even have the comforts of your twin brother, the well-revered Blaise Zabini, who had begun skipping class to see his “greatest love” (his words, not yours), Luna Lovegood. Others thought her to be a strange girl, especially because her mother was a powerful witch. Though Pandora Lestrange (who had never fitted in with her family) was known for her skills and her friendship with Regulus Black, she married Xenophilius Lovegood, who was now the editor of the Quibbler. He was stranger than his daughter, and many students theorised that it was him who filled Luna’s head with such… Such bizarre assumptions.
You, much to one’s dismay, quite liked the fourth year. Luna was often correct with her words and had interesting stories about her mother, to whom you had admired dearly.
Thankfully, something had caught your gaze. Unfortunately, it seemed to be much worse than the lecture you were enduring. Your eyes widened at the sudden appearance of a paper sparrow, the bird flying around in the air as it landed in the palms of your hands. You pulled a face, glimpsing at the faces around the godforsaken dungeon before stopping at a particular platinum-haired, blue-eyed boy, gazing at you with a goofy grin as the confusion written on your face contorted into vast annoyance.
The boy you met eyes with was the one and only Draco Malfoy. Son of the ‘wonderful’ Lucius Malfoy and beautiful Narcissa Black, he would’ve been raised with privileged views about the wizarding world, uttering vile words against those ‘below’ him and his maniacal pureblood ancestry. Quite frankly, you  had hated Malfoy ever since first year, regretting you had ever spoken to him because now…
Now he would not leave you be.
It had been five years since your first encounter. Draco had ensured that over the course of the half-decade, he’d never leave your holy presence. You could not, for the life of you, figure out what his obsession with you was about. Yes, you were pureblooded. Yes, you were Slytherin. Everything else about you did not, at all, reflect his persona.
Except, perhaps, his ever-repeating threats. The only difference between yours and his words against others was that you always had the will to act on them.
You were never one for affection. In the five years you’d been in this school, you hadn’t obtained a single crush. Kisses were shared in your fourth year with a Ravenclaw, but that was it. Your mother, the famed woman who had married seven husbands, but had died tragically and had left her with mounds of gold, had always taught you to not waste your time with boys in your academic years, for they were merely children. Instead, you should wish for a man, one like your father (who was also dead, but had died because of a disease when you and Blaise were young. Your mother still yearned for his presence daily).
You didn’t bother opening up the sparrow, knowing that it merely contained his one-hundredth love confession. What you did in reply was a little cruel, but you did not care. Instead, you crumpled the bird into a little ball right before him, seeing Draco’s expression crumble as you wore your signature sarcastic smile, throwing the paper ball behind you, huffing before looking back at Snape, who now had eyes on you.
“Miss Zabini,” Snape sounded out quietly, you realising that he had just witnessed you discard parchment across his floor. “Another brilliant display of Slytherin’s impeccable manners, I see,” he reprimanded, sarcasm encasing his tone as you refrained from correcting him. “Perhaps you’d like to continue this performance by littering the entire dungeon, just to make sure everyone is fully aware of your utter disregard for cleanliness and decorum.”
You pressed your lips together, hearing the quiet sniggers from other houses enter your ears as you exhaled through your nose, meeting Draco’s stare before glancing at Snape.
“I apologise, Professor,” you replied meekly, though not regretfully. Snape recognised this, but he did not say anymore, returning to what he said prior the supposed interruption.
Sighing to yourself after hearing another cry for your attention, you turned your head at the sudden ‘psst!’ from across the dungeon, the irises of your eyes growing dark as Draco shot you a wink. The sudden glint of his silver snake ring caught your eye, causing you to raise an eyebrow out of interest. Yet, you regained composure, tutting at his behaviour, staring at him no longer.
Draco Malfoy would be the death of you. The funniest thing of all was that he would not be delighted if such things ever came to be true.
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In the corners of the Great Library, you sat alone, your eyes widened with amazement as you whispered the words of a foreign language unbeknownst to many, smiling as you began to uncover the secrets of your fictitious world. However, from across your table, Draco and his small band of friends (consisting of Theo, Blaise, and Pansy) sat with their own share of textbooks. They did not, of course, share the same interest as you did. Draco kept a watchful eye, his chin resting in the palms of his hands, the pupils of his blue eyes dilating into hearts as Theo and Pansy shared a disgusted look. They weren’t disgusted by you, but Draco’s continuous rants about you.
“Merlin, isn’t she gorgeous?” Draco murmured, practically drooling over the pages of some novel as Blaise snatched it from under him, shaking his head as he sighed.
“I know that. She is my sister,” Blaise grumbled, his knuckles resting on his forehead. He whispered into Theodore’s ear, extremely bothered. “I cannot take this love-sick nonsense any longer—”
“You aren’t very good at whispering,” Pansy mocked, twirling her quill as she leaned into her seat, smirking at the fact that Draco hadn’t heard a single word.
“You’re acting like you hadn’t been doing the same with Lovegood the last month,” Theo pointed out, matching Pansy’s smugness as Blaise rolled his eyes.
“I haven’t been following Luna around for the last five years!” Blaise retorted, leaning back in his seat as he watched Draco twist his ring around his finger.
“She was staring at my ring earlier. Should I give it to her?” Draco suggested, no one paying attention to him as Pansy piped up.
“Perhaps I would be a better match for [Y/N/N],” Pansy joked, getting a reaction out of both Draco and Blaise.
“NO!” They said simultaneously, causing Pansy to tsk as she rested her legs on the edge of the wooden table. Draco then stood up, taking in a deep breath as Blaise furrowed his eyebrows at him. He would have protested, but Draco had already sauntered off towards your desk.
“Balerion... Zȳhon perzys iksin hae zōbrie hae zȳhon ñelly, zȳhon tīkuni sīr rōvabona giez lenton sia ipradārin bē isse pōja sȳndor skori ziry rēbagon,” you read fluently, biting your bottom lip from smiling ever so widely as you read the Valyrian words with awe. Your necklace dangled from your neck, hitting the constant stripes of your loose, Slytherin tie as you looked up suddenly, hearing someone clear their throat.
“Merlin’s left fucking tit,” you seethed, snapping your book shut as you met the one and only Draco Lucius Malfoy with a hard gaze, pushing your novel away from the platinum-haired boy so it didn’t feel his stench.
“Hello, [Y/N],” Draco replied, his voice ten times softer than yours (was your tone ever gentle?) as you ran your hands through your hair.
“I do not understand why you keep bothering me—”
“A gift,” Draco interjected, aggravating you even more as he took out his left hand, removing his ring that bore a snake. You furrowed your eyebrows, realising that it was the same ring you had eyed earlier and you stood up abruptly, looking up at his towering figure.
“A-are you serious—?” you began, disbelieved.
“I know how much you like your accessories and this would look great with your Yule Ball dress—”
“I do not want the stupid ring and I’m not even going to the—”
“It would look better on you than on me—”
“Shut up,” you groaned, not understanding how gravely Draco felt for you as he became quiet almost immediately, almost like an obedient dog. You were a little surprised, but you feigned nonchalance. “Listen, I appreciate the offering, but I looked at it for not even ten seconds! That does not mean I actually want it, Malfoy.”
Draco remained silent, almost like he was contemplating her words as her chest heaved of simmered frustration. And then, he nodded, giving you a brief smile before turning around, heading towards the Library’s exit. You pulled another face, irritated beyond compare before stuffing your hands in the pockets of your robes.
That was until you felt a cold metal in the right one.
You pulled it out, cursing under your breath as your head cocked towards Draco’s friend group, where your brother also sat. Scoffing at Draco’s notion, your feet carried you to Blaise, where you slammed the ring on his table, causing Theodore to sit completely upright.
“Well, hello there, love—” Theodore began with his deep voice, only to be swatted on the head by Blaise.
“Blaise, I swear on Salazar’s grave, if you do not get Malfoy to leave me alone, I will feed your organs to our dead stepfather,” you hissed, leaning forward as Pansy bit her bottom lip, fighting the urge to grin.
“Which one?” Blaise remarked, his eyes still trained on his book as you snatched it out of his hands, giving him a warning look as he sighed. “Just accept the ring—”
“NO!” You yelled, leaving the ring on the table as you thudded the novel against its wood before Theodore, once again, jumped at the noise as you left, leaving a vexed Blaise, an exasperated Irma Pince (who had flinched at the sudden outburst, and Pansy), who seemed to be falling in love with you every second.
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As the soles of your Doc Martens entered your Common Room the following week, you made your way over to the couch, rubbing your wrists because of the hair ties that had strangled them. Your gaze had been on them the entire time, so long that as soon as you looked up, a few stares were coming your way, wrinkling your eyebrows as you looked them up and down. It was natural for some Slytherins—mostly girls—to dislike you purely because of Blaise. Not your twin specifically, but they were jealous of the attention you received from his friends, Theodore and Draco. It was the same for Pansy, even though (as much as you admired her) she had been horrible to everyone she’s ever met.
In all respects, you were not rude. You just didn’t like talking with people. A totally understandable prospect, right?
Back to the situation at hand, you had just approached the couch, freezing when you saw the amount of people huddled around an object on the sofa. You tutted, weaving your way past, most likely stepping on someone’s toes. You only wanted to sit down and rest your feet.
“Salazar’s sakes, can you move—?!” You began to raise your voice, but your words quickly died down in your throat, noting the extremely large package resting on the velvet cushions of the emerald couch. You glanced at the girl beside you, recognising her to be Daphne Greengrass, who smiled slightly before handing you an envelope.
“It’s for you…” She nodded awkwardly, giving the box a glance before turning away from you. You looked at the envelope, seeing that the seal wax was in your favourite colour, the actual symbol being a dragon.
Curious, you opened it, your fingers lightly grazing the parchment as your eyes moved along the page, the cursive letters peaking your curiosity. There was a dry flower taped to the note and you picked it off with care, the corners of your mouth briefly curling when you saw your favourite rose, looking fresh.
‘Dearest [Y/N],
I hope this note finds you well. As the annual ball approaches, I wanted to extend an invitation to you. I've chosen a dress and jewellery set that I believe would compliment your elegance and beauty. Please consider it a gesture of goodwill, with no expectations or strings attached.
 I wanted to offer this gift and extend an olive branch in the hope that we can enjoy a pleasant evening together, even if it's just as friends. If you still decide not to attend with me, I completely understand and respect your choice.
Wishing you happiness and looking forward to whatever the future holds for us, whether as friends or acquaintances.
Sincerely,
D.M.’
“How romantic,” Pansy’s voice suddenly appeared against your ear, a smirk tugging on her lips as she looked you up and down, seeing you eye the box with agitation. You cock your head to face her, your lips pressing together.
“Go away, Pans,” you mumbled, scrunching the note up as you shoved it in your pocket. You kept the rose, however, safely in your other pocket, too pretty to be destroyed. You picked up the box, throwing a look to whoever else that dared to gawk at you before descending up the staircase towards your dorm with a huff.
“Did she like it?” Draco’s voice suddenly boomed in Pansy’s ear as she jumped, pushing the blonde boy away, still gazing at where you had gone.
“She hasn’t even opened it, you twat,” Pansy retorted, walking past him as she made her way towards Theo, giving him a pleading look as he pulled the cigarette from between his lips.
“What?” He asked in a hushed voice, but immediately widened his eyes when Draco began nearing them. “Shit—”
“Did she like the rose?” Draco asked once more, his gaze becoming frantic as he looked at the stairwell. Theo pinched the bridge of his nose, stubbing out his cigarette as he tossed it aside.
“I mean, she kind of smiled—”
“She smiled?!” Draco guffawed, his lips curving into a wide grin as he sighed dreamily, sitting on the armchair beside Theo. Both Pansy and Theo shared another look as the short-haired girl sucked in a breath, forcing a smile on her lips.
“I wouldn’t say that, Draco. Like, she was a little flattered that someone knew her favourite flower—”
“Rose.”
“Flower,” Pansy repeated, feeling irked as she crossed her arms. “But the smile dropped as soon as she saw it was you who gave her the dress.”
“She smiled,” was all Draco said, gleeful as he leaned into his seat, staring at the ceiling as he began to daydream.
“Fucking hell,” Theo muttered, shaking his head as he ran a hand through his brown hair. “What are we gonna do with this kid?”
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“You’ve got to be fucking shitting me.”
You had unwrapped the box. You had taken out the dress. You had taken out the jewellery, as well as the shoes and whatever else. You expected to hate everything in the gift box, predicting that you would’ve shredded the gown to pieces by now
But this guy had bought a dress so ethereal that it had suited all your tastes. You were satisfied with what was in front of you.
Donned with sequins, the dress was in a mermaid-cut style, which would’ve accentuated your curves perfectly. The bodice had a perfected pleated detailing on the waist, the gems glowing under the light of your room as your fingers itched to trail across the silk. The gown featured romantic puff sleeves which would line up your chest with a flattering square neckline. Overall, it was an airy dress that reached to the floor, creating a beautiful silhouette that would make you glow, the ivory satin of the dress increasing your beauty since it contrasted with your skin tone perfectly.
The jewellery was a whole different story. Draco had bought stones so expensive that you didn’t think you’d be able to wear them, the necklace could potentially weigh your neck down. The actual diamonds were in your favourite colour, but the crystals were silver and would rest above your cleavage excellently. There was also a matching ring with the same diamond.
Hesitantly, you reached for the ring, trying it on every finger. Shuddering, you raised your eyebrows, realising the ring would only fit on your actual ring finger. You scoffed, tossing the ring back into the box, disregarding the crème-coloured heels as you sat on the edge of your bed, head in your hands.
You were lost. This was too much. The dress was gorgeous. Simple, but exquisite. The jewellery was impeccable, and you wondered momentarily if these jewels actually belonged to the Malfoy family.
You turned your head, beginning to tug on your bottom lip with your teeth as you jigged your thighs up and down, at a crossroads. You couldn’t wear this and not go with Draco. That would just be downright cruel.
Damn, you began to think. Damn, damn, damn.
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“Blaise.”
No response.
“I know you can hear me.”
No response.
“Your book is upside down.”
“I think the fuck not,” Blaise shot back, checking to see if Draco’s statement was correct. Blaise narrowed his eyes, closing them fleetingly as he jerked his head to the side, meeting the blue, wide-eyed boy’s face with exasperation.
“Stop asking me about my sister.”
“No.”
“Merlin’s fucking balls, Malfoy—”
“I just want to know if she’s going with me tonight. It’s been days since I’ve given her the dress! I haven’t gotten an answer!” Draco interjected, his hands clasped in front of him, almost as if he was begging Blaise. His best friend slumped in his seat, dropping his book onto the table before him as he placed his hands behind his head.
“I. Do. Not. Know,” Blaise reaffirmed, granting him a sarcastic smile, his eyes locking onto someone else as he let out a groan.
You had entered the study hall, eyes scanning the classroom before they landed on your twin brother. You sighed in relief, fiddling with your watch as you cursed, noting it was five minutes past six.
As you stood before Blaise, you made eye contact with Draco, curtly nodding at him as you cleared your throat.
“Where’s Pansy?” You asked quietly, looking around the room once again to see if she was there. Blaise shrugged, which didn’t help you at all. “What the fuck do you mean by that?”
“I don’t know.When will people stop asking me questions I don’t have the answer to?” Blaise  questioned, causing you to roll your eyes before you fled, rushing down the hallways towards the dungeons.
Draco was staring at Blaise expectantly, his lips pressed together as he leaned forward. “Well?”
“End my life already,” he grumbled, closing his eyes. “She nodded at you. Which means she’s going.”
“With me?”
“No. Cormac McGlaggen.”
“WHAT—?!”
“SHUT UP.”
Meanwhile, you had found Pansy making out with some girl from Hufflepuff. Sighing, you pulled her away from the girl, causing the other to feel embarrassed as Pansy pulled your hands off her.
“What’s your problem?” Pansy muttered, fixing her hair as you threw her a look, smiling once you saw that the Hufflepuff had scurried off.
“I… need a favour,” you shrugged, smiling awkwardly as your lips thinned. She pulled a face, causing you to shove her shoulder.
“What is it, then?” You puffed your cheeks, looking around the hallway as you fiddled with your hands behind your back, wanting to pull out your hair.
“Needyoutodressmyhair,” you talked under your breath, causing Pansy to furrow her eyebrows as she crossed her arms.
“Eh?” You threw your head back, staring at the ceiling as you squeezed your eyes shut.
“I need you to dress my hair.”
A gasp escaped Pansy’s lips, her hands across her chest as she tilted her head, smiling mockingly as smiled at her back bitingly.
“Your first thought was me? Aw, [Y/N]!” Pansy waved you off, sighing contently, you having enough of her as you grabbed her wrist, dragging her away to your dorm.
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You had waited until everyone else was gone to exit the Slytherin Common Room, already infected with nerves as you stepped carefully across the floor, slowly walking towards the Great Hall. Surprisingly, you had finished getting ready (with the help of Pansy and a lot of magic) in under two hours, leaving you enough time to make sure you didn’t trip on the way to the Yule Ball.
You didn’t know what Draco had worn, wanting to see what he looked like—only to make sure he didn’t make you look bad. Pansy had done your eye makeup since you didn’t know how, your friend going for a [Y/F/C] eyeshadow palette that winged your eyes. Your lip colour was as deep as the richest of raspberries from the Forbidden Forest. Your hair was in a braided crown, white daisies blooming in the tresses of your locks as the rest of your hair flowed down, the length ending at your middle-back. Large stones hung from your ears, matching with your necklace that felt heavy on your collarbone.
Heels clicking against the stone of the castle, you finally got to the staircase that led straight to the Great Hall. You gripped the wall anxiously, Draco’s ring on your right ring finger as you peeked around the corner, eyes softening (only slightly) once your eyes had landed on your date.
From what you could see, Draco looked as handsome as he always was—you’d never admit that to his face. Draco was dressed in a robe tuxedo, his dress shirt and bowtie the same ivory white like your gown. The buttons of his shirt sparkled under the flames of the torches in the hallway as he checked his watch, scratching his chin as he waited for you. He also wore a black cumberbund, to your astoundment, his robes as dark as the bewitched night sky in the Great Hall. Lastly, his signature snake ring, the one you refused to keep the other week in the Library, bore his middle finger on his right hand, which defined the veins in his hand as he flexed it.
Now or never, now or never, now or never, you repeated in your mind, silently stepping out of the shadows. Your heels clicked against the first step, causing Draco’s head to pick up. Your breath caught in your throat as you caught his gaze, your hands falling to your sides as you walked carefully down the staircase.
You tried so hard not to trip, but luckily for you, Draco seemed ready to catch you as he stood at the end of the stairs, catching your hand as you instinctively reached out for him. You thanked him with a small smile, steadying yourself on the ground floor as you looked up at him, his towering figure seeming to fit in with you perfectly.
“Sorry. Sort of took my time,” you mumbled, scratching the space behind your ear. Abruptly, the jewellery set Draco gifted you suddenly felt light, no longer itching your skin away as Draco’s touch warmed your hands, your fingers coincidentally on his vena amoris in his wrist—vein of love—that led to his ring finger and connected to the veins of his beating heart. You gulped, praying he didn’t know that as he smiled softly, his gloved thumb running over the palm of your right hand.
“‘s fine. I got you something,” Draco replied, catching you off guard as you hesitated, your mouth ajar.
“You’ve gotten me enough things, Malfoy,” you chuckled, averse. You didn’t want Draco to spend so much on you—must he insist on buying you things all the time?
Yet, as soon as you saw the final gift, your lips parted in astonishment, staring at the corsage that Draco had taken out of his pocket. You looked up at him, the peach of the rose pinned to the corsage gleaming at you as he watched your amazed face carefully, scanning it for confirmation before he slipped it onto your wrist. You gulped once again, your throat raw as you didn’t know what to say.
“You… you didn’t have to buy me a corsage,” you murmured quietly, staring at your painted toenails, refusing to meet his gaze as his hand moved to link your arms together.
“What kind of date would I be if I didn’t get you a corsage?” he responded gently, earning a cool blush from you, clearing your throat as you picked your head up, nodding.
Draco sensed that you didn’t want to talk anymore, noting the redness that appeared in your cheeks. He decided not to speak on it, knowing that you would probably glare him to the ground. Instead, he led you towards the Great Hall, the soft sound of organs and harps entering your ears as the corners of your lips turned upwards, entering the room with a heart rate that quickened every second.
A number of students (from fourth year and above) were in attendance. Yet, every single pair of eyes were on the pair of you. You gripped Draco’s arm tightly, glancing at him as he reciprocated, leading you to where your friend group stood. The first dance hadn’t happened yet.
“Merlin, bless your souls,” Pansy sighed, faking tears as she hung off Theo’s arm, causing you to roll your eyes.
“Fuck off,” you tutted, pressing your lips together. You eyed her appearance, relenting slightly as you mumbled. “You look pretty.”
“Thank you,” she retorted, winking at you as Blaise appeared with Luna. Luna widened her eyes in admiration, reaching out to touch your puff sleeves.
“You look beautiful, [Y/N]. Like a dove!” she complimented sweetly, Blaise nodding in agreement, but refusing to say anything. He smiled, glancing at Draco, who only had eyes for you.
“Thank you, Luna,” you smiled, the only real smile you had given today. “You looked gorgeous,” you added, raking your eyes over the light blue satin of her gown.
“Guys, the first song is going to start,” Theo announced, his arm around Pansy as he dragged her to the floor, the pair of them giggling to themselves, seeming to be a little tipsy. Blaise also kissed the back of Luna’s hand, pulling her along gently as they made their way towards the middle of the room.
You glanced at Draco, your smile still lingering as you looked at your feet.
“Would you do me the honour and grant me a dance, Miss Zabini?” Draco murmured, his tone soft as your tongue poked your cheek, utterly wordless.
“I might step on your toes,” you breathed, your voice quiet as his thumb brushed against your fingers.
“I won’t mind,” he replied, smiling as he took the lead, causing you to follow him to the middle of the hall. You looked around, copying everyone else’s movements as you wrapped your arms around his neck, staring up at him with uneasiness.
“Relax,” he whispered against your ear, your shoulders immediately losing their tenseness as his hands pressed against your hips, guiding you as your feet followed his, syncing to the slow song that played in the background as the lights dimmed. You gazed into his eyes, not wanting to stare at anyone else, aware that others were sending you looks.
“Why does every girl have to have a crush on you?” you questioned, your gaze dropping as you felt unease. Draco tutted, tilting your chin up as you swallowed imaginary air, shivering under the coldness of his glove.
“Thought you didn’t care about anyone else’s opinion,” he mused, causing you to give him a bored look. 
“‘course I care. Just look at their patronising stares. It’s unnerving,” you grimaced, rolling back your shoulders as he twirled you around, his hands travelling up your waist as he picked you up, spinning you around whilst you gasped.
“I’m not looking at them. I’m looking at you,” Draco said softly, shrugging playfully as you scoffed lightly, feeling your cheeks warm once again. “You look stunning, [Y/N]. Absolutely stunning,” he whispered, his minty breath fanning against your face as your expression softened.
“Well, um, this is the gown you bought me,” you chuckled. You always felt weird whenever you accepted a compliment.
“It is,” he replied, his grin still tugging on his lips, “I may have picked out the gown, but it's you who makes it look so graceful… You are the definition of elegance, [Y/N] Zabini,” he whispered, a little breath escaping your lips as he brought you closer.
“I… I’ve hated you for so long,” you uttered, furrowing your eyebrows. “But you never gave up after the amount of times I’ve rejected you. Why?” Draco thought for a moment, taking in your delicate countenance.
“I don’t really know. I think I never gave up because I genuinely care about you. I saw something special in you, and I was willing to keep trying because I believe in us.” The entire time, Draco had kept true to his words, his voice fragile, as if he was going to break at any moment. He honestly could not believe that you had finally given him a chance.
You didn’t know what to say. You stared at him, disbelieved, tilting your head to the side as your expression faltered. And then, you knew what to do, your eyes flickering from his eyes, to his lips.
Hesitantly, you encaptured his lips with yours, your hands reaching up to his hair as Draco was taken by surprise, but kissed back nonetheless. You were never good with your words, but your actions always made up for it. Your noses touched as you mewled helplessly, allowing him to capture all of you as he smiled against your lips, almost wanting to scoop you up and take you out of here.
A flash suddenly caused you two to pull away, squinting your eyes as the pair of you turned to the side, letting go of each other as you stood there, mouth agape. Colin Creevey, a fourth year, had pictured your kiss with his rather massive camera, the younger kid smiling at the photo with satisfaction.
“Fucks sakes,” Draco grumbled at the fourth year as you picked up your dress, snatching the camera off Creevey with a stare so defiant, it could kill the Dark Lord himself.
“Hey—!”
“You people are not ruining tonight for me,” you snapped, knowing exactly who set this up, shooting Blaise and Theo a snarky smile before deleting the picture almost immediately, shoving the camera back into the boy’s arms before grasping one of Draco's fingers and leading him out of the floor, the Slytherin prince happily following behind you with an adoring smile across his lips.
The finger you just so happened to grab was his ring finger of his left hand. This very particular finger, as stated before, had a special sort of vein that growed throughout the body, stopping at the middle of Draco's heart—vena amoris.
Was it a coincidence that you took Draco's ring finger instead of his hand? I think not.
For he had fought his way into your heart for years, and now, you had entered his.
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wonysugar · 9 months
Note
aaaackkk rough post-breakup sex with your toxic ex yujin where she's just being so mean with her words but she's fucking you like it's the last time bcs she missed you so so much,,, thinking abt it makes my head spinnn i need her 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
g!p ver where she just,,, completely ruins you in a bathroom while attending a party,,,,,
i love both ideas so i’m mixing them together hope that’s okayy~~~
you loved her a lot, still do, but her attitude and your stubbornness lead to you guys separating, and the process wasn’t very pretty. you weren’t compatible and it was an incredibly toxic relationship, it showed through your arguments. your last argument consisted of you yelling at her because of how touchy she was being with some other girl and her saying that you were being controlling and that you don’t trust her enough, it was just overall a whole mess!
so seeing her at your friend’s house party, looking that good? oh you wanted to do so many things to her, but you didn’t know whether they were sexual or violent maybe both. exchanging glances from across the room, watching you dance. you didn’t know whether she was glaring at you or eyefucking you, whatever it was, you were doing it too. it was only a matter of time before she dashed towards you, grabbing your wrist and quickly leading you to the nearest bathroom she could find.
hungrily making out with you, in a way that implied that she missed you so much. you missed her too, but you’re still so angry at her, even in this moment of intimacy. your hands roaming all over her body, eventually getting to her crotch. she slightly moans against your touch, she doesn’t really care that people might hear her outside of the stall, and quite frankly? you didn’t either. you couldn’t wait to scream for her cock later.
luckily for you though, it didn’t take long for that to happen. pounding your pussy with her throbbing hard dick, she’s pinning you up against the bathroom stall door. you could quickly tell that she was equally as angry, though, since she quickly started fucking you like she didn’t care about what you felt. pumping in and out of you as you moaned out her name while she whispers things to you.
“you missed this cock, didn’t you? you know that - shit - nobody can fuck you like i do, y/n.”
“i knew you’d come back to me, you always do.”
“you’re still just as much of a whore as when i left you, aren’t you?”
“you fucking bitch.” as she’s fucking you from behind ughhh
i need her badly guys this is sick
327 notes · View notes
queerspacepunk · 2 years
Text
when someone raises a concern w me about the "irreversibility of allowing children and teens to transition" (which is a lot, having these discussions w people is literally my day job) i think about the fact that when i was 13/14 my mum bought me an epilator for christmas. my cousin got one too.
now i had shaved my legs maybe once or twice at this point, because my (frankly barely visible) leg fluff was apparently "bad" and did not enjoy the process or result. my mum, to her credit is p progressive and never pressured me to shave (except for my pits. she's odd about pits. convinced having armpit hair is bad for the skin or something idk) but there was this ASSUMPTION that bc i "was a girl" i would now inevitably need to remove the hair from my legs for the rest of my life. we were both given epilators SPECIFICALLY bc our mums believed that if we started epilating early, the follicles would get damaged and the hair would stop growing.
we were too young to get our belly buttons pierced (something that if we changed our minds could be removed and leave only a tiny mark as evidence), too young to start even puberty blockers among the people i often talk to, but plenty old enough to start the attempting to permanently destroy all the follicles on a good third of our bodies to the extent we were gifted these devices despite showing no real desire to do so!!
now quite apart from being trans, i love my leg fuzz. love all of it actual. had to shave my pubic hair for surgery once and threw a FIT i was so mad (turns out it wasn't actually 'necessary' at ALL) i would have been gutted to have missed out on that because I'd used the fucking epilator.
these arguments are always framed as 'what if they change their minds' or 'blah blah some risk' or 'they're too young to know what they want' but it's never actually about that.
the issue isn't that they MIGHT 'change their minds about being trans and wanting to transition', it's that those people are HOPING they will. its not a fear of those young people regretting their decision, it's a fear of running out of time to talk them out of being trans.
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3terna15unshin3 · 5 months
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Connected
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A/N: idea came from this ask, so thank u anon🥰🥰 it was so fun to think of how Matty and Este’s relationship was seen from the other side like what fans pick up on, and also establish how much they decide to share with fans vs keep to themselves. this concept is so interesting to me but i had a hard time writing from the pov of a fan hahaha so i just did it this way instead :))
This obvs is based heavily on TBSG lore so none of this makes sense if you haven’t read the main fic - go do that first!! and also check out the Instagram AUs, they add to the pizazz
“Love, look what I just saw on Twitter. This is hilarious.”
Este points her phone screen towards Matty as they sit in bed on a Sunday morning. He yawns, tired and still half asleep, then blinks his eyes a few times to read what she’s showing him. It’s a tweet from a fan that sits in her mentions from a couple of days ago when a clip from his Zane Lowe interview resurfaced.
megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND
thinking about the fact that matty mentioned meeting e.manansala when she worked at a bookstore in manc to zane and in this 2018 interview he said his fav spot in the city is Greenhouse Books …….. what are the chances this is the same bookstore bc that would be so😭😭😭💔💔💔💔 https://manchesterwire.co.uk/?s=matty+healy+give-yourself-a-try/arts&culture/article
jaymie SAW UNDO LIVE trmanb1ackk
→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND
Hold on you might be onto something
megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND
→ Replying to trmanb1ackk
right like okaayyy bookstore worker x customer to lovers notting hill pipeline????? 🤭 huge if true
She watches his eyes scan over the text and a fuzzy smile grow on his face. Matty loves talking about Este when he can—to bring some much deserved attention to her writing—and did so often, but does’t always mention many the details of their relationship. That was until strolling around the Northern Quarter with Zane brought a bit of it out of him.
Este is what brings him back to Manchester the most often, from visiting her family and Cate and Georgia to just needing a bit of a homey feeling from its familiar pubs and nostalgic shops. So, naturally, Matty talked about her in the interview done for the release of Being Funny—explaining how they’d met and how much the city means to them both.
“How they put two and two together is beyond me,” he says, scratching his head. “That Manchester Wire interview was five years ago now, you know. Did you ever read that?”
She chuckles. “Course I did! We had a few fans come in that summer with the sole intention of coming to a place you recommended, actually.”
“Why have you never told me that?” Matty asks, “You’re welcome for the business, by the way.”
“You never even told me about your little shout out, to be fair. I had to find out on my own,” Este teases. “Plus, we weren’t even a thing at that point—we’d met once! Quite creepy, in retrospect.”
“When you put it like that it’s honestly so cringe so please change the subject now.” Matty buries his head in the bunches of sheets that sit in her lap, embarrassed and frankly too sleepy to defend himself.
Este giggles, letting her hands settle into his curls. “Oh c’mon, you weren’t cringe. I’m just pulling your leg. It was sweet,” she reassures him.
“You’re just saying that because you feel bad,” he whines, then rubs his eyes to try and get the sleep out of them. “That’s so crazy that they dug that up, though. I’m not sure if many people know you’ve been around since then.”
“They probably looked at your life in 2019 and figured you were a rockstar with a new girl in every city but in reality you were calling me to get to sleep every night and doing origami in your free time because it reminded you of me.”
Matty’s jaw drops at her blunt comments. “I was about to get mad but I can’t even disagree.” He sits up, raking the hair out of his eyes. “Do people still use the word ‘simp’? Can that be applied to this situation? Was I a simp?”
She throws her head back, mouth wide, as she laughs at how ridiculous his question is.
“Please don’t say ‘simp’, love. You’re 34.” Este squeezes out between her giggles, “But no, people don’t use that word anymore. And yes it can be applied. And also yes, you were. And still are.”
“Proudly am,” he adds.
She leans into his side and he snakes his arm around her waist. They sit there, Matty only in a pair of pyjama pants and her an oversized tee, scrolling through the funny replies to the tweet and how big of a deal some fans were making it.
“You should respond. Tell Megs that she’s right.”
“Seriously?” Este asks, shocked that he’d want her to engage in something so meaningless and speculative.
But alas, he nods casually with a smile. “Yeah. They seem sweet, and just curious. And maybe being such a simp will give me some brownie points,” confirms Matty.
“God, enough of that word!”
Este e.manansala
→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND
Can confirm🤝
liv livmymistake_
→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND and e.manansala
MEGS OH MY GOD
Jude 🥾🌎 ittsjudesk
→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND and e.manansala
UMMMMMMMMMMM
megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND
→ Replying to e.manansala
omg hi😭😭😭 are being fr i can’t cope
Este e.manansala
→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND
Greenhouse is the bookstore i worked at and is where matty and i met that year:)) and hi💌
megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND
→ Replying to e.manansala
i think i’m psychic for guessing that🤭🤭🤭🤭
megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND
k now i’m going crazy bc i had no clue him and este had been dating for that long💀 was genuinely convinced it had been 3 years max
Jude 🥾🌎 ittsjudesk
→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND
Literally they didn’t post each other until like 2020
sarah🧸 _102sar
→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND
I think she was at the 2018 Pryzm show too. Not sure but I was at the after party and remember seeing her there lol
megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND
→ Replying to _102sar
WHAT…….. this lore being uncovered omg
“Someone recognises you from the Brief Inquiry album release show?!” exclaims Matty in disbelief. “There’s no way.”
They still sit in bed as Este types away, having fun interacting with the small group. He leans his head on her shoulder and watches her as she does it.
“They’ve known you longer than I have, you know. They know their stuff,” she responds.
“Even I don’t remember you being at the Pryzm show.”
Este’s mouth falls open in shock, thoroughly offended. “You prick.”
“I’m joking!” Matty defends through fits of laughter. “C’mon E, I’m joking.”
She knows he is, but enjoys the theatrics of it all; shoving his head off her shoulder and scooting away from his touch in protest.
“That was a special night for me! The first time I saw you play and met the guys! Don’t make fun!” Este pouts, crossing her arms playfully.
“Fine. I take it back, I take it back,” Matty begs, dragging her back over to him and bringing her legs over top of his. He grabs her hand and places a kiss on her palm. “I remember meeting Cate, and introducing you to Louis. And Ross making fun of my gallbladder surgery, and leaving Cate on the dance floor to get drinks, and screaming at each other over the music at the bar. You telling me about the anniversary party. I very much remember!”
“Okay, okay. Enough gushing. I forgive you.”
Matty pecks her palm once more and shuffles her even closer. “Open Twitter back up. This is fun.”
Jude 🥾🌎 ittsjudesk
→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND and _102sar
This is absolutely shocking bc how did his chronically online ass manage to hide a whole gf that long
megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND
→ Replying to ittsjudesk
fr!!! like do we think she was on the abiior tour with them bc i swear jordan absolutely fed us with so much bts content it would be impossible to miss?? someone dig
sarah🧸 _102sar
→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1D and ittsjudesk
If u scroll back on her IG u can see Matty in her comments since then. And they’d repost each other on their stories and stuff🥲 So not that hidden if ur a stalker like me lmao
megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND
→ Replying to _102sar
thoroughly upset that i missed so much bf matty content </3
Este e.manansala
→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND and _102sar
Ignore me stalking u🤭🤭 i was indeed at that Pryzm show lol but we weren’t dating yet. And during abiior tour I saw a few UK shows but otherwise i was just in Manc working/being a bad groupie x
Este e.manansala
→ Replying to PL4YINGONMYM1ND
Also matty is sitting beside me now and he is cool with me filling u in (it was his idea) and he says hi. and that u guys are cute
megs ⎕ PL4YINGONMYM1ND
→ Replying to e.manansala
ohhh yes u are a working woman how could i forget!! bookstore worker/groupie same difference. thank u for responding😭 u are the coolest❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 (also hi matty😳)
Jude 🥾🌎 ittsjudesk
→ Replying to e.manansala
Hi Matty sorry for calling u chronically online x
Este e.manansala
→ Replying to ittsjudesk
He forgives you (but it’s true imo)
liv livmymistake_
→ Replying to e.manansala
este wait i have to know …. since u are a former bookstore girlie turned writer are u the reason matty periodically spam posts a bunch of literature on his instagram stories???? did u convert him to bookstoregirlieism??
Este e.manansala
→ Replying to livmymistake_
I am obsessed with the idea that he was illiterate before meeting me so i’m gonna say yes. thank u for that
Este e.manansala
→ Replying to livmymistake_
Liv it’s me I stole the phone and don’t appreciate this sentiment tbh. You should know I’ve always been a wanker so all the literature spams are just me letting that out and este just enables me. hope that helps x Matty
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uyuartik · 3 months
Text
bad idea, right? (obi wan kenobi x f!reader) part ii
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tags: same as before except more unhinged, (slightly sith coded obi wan, no use of y/n, my unhinged take on regency era, (blaming bridgerton and pride and prejudice), probably historical inaccuracies, SMUT), idiots in love, friends with benefits though it is more than that, oral sex (fem and male receiving), fingering, piv sex, overstimulation, thigh riding, dom!obi?, ANGST AT SOME POINT(S), tension so high that they should be on medication, me shortening every uncle-in-law phrase to uncle bcs english sucks in family terms, overuse of commas because editing 42 pages is hard
a/n: HELLO AGAIN, thank you all so much for all the love you've shown, i couldn't be more grateful. sorry for the *long* wait, i just thought the story needed a little longer than a week to do its trick, and frankly i am a busy person so 7 day gap wouldn't work for me. but i hope you can forgive me with this beast of a chapter, it is my first time writing such a long one. hope you enjoy it, and see you all again soon!
also not so fun fact: i totally misunderstood the "season", thinking it should be around summer- early autumn but it was the other way around, sorry, all the historical babes (i can no longer call myself that) for the frustration. but this timetable suits this story much better, does it not?
likes and reblogs are very much appreciated, and i can't wait to hear your opinions! i am also crossposting on ao3, feel free to interact there as well.
part one | part two | part three
enjoy!!!
word count: 19.7K
chapter two: it's a bad idea, right?
The morning or to be exact, the noon, is when you finally feel refreshed, ready for the challenges of the day. Lucky, because your relatives are more than understanding, has always been. They would scold you for going about your day as a ghost rather than miss breakfast or join only halfway to their other activities. You always try to honor their kindness, not to take advantage of the privileges as a guest, and do your best to spend time with your cousin Carolina, (The young girl has all the benefits of her young age, full of energy and excitement, fascinated by the stories she hears (from you, mostly)), and also avoid bringing a man into your room under their roof and absolutely ravaging each other-
The last one is an exception, which you are not proud of, yet not a single drop of guilt muddies your soul. None, considering the enjoyment or strengthened bonds.
Speaking of it, something tells you that you'd have been late anyways if you woke up early, thanks to him. There's indeed a mark on the side of your neck, just where it meets your shoulder. Also, your thighs share the same fate, though lightly, a few small bruises and red, irritated areas thanks to his neat beard. Thankfully, they're quite hidden except the one that's not that has you cursing at him. For how good it felt, and for his daredevil nature. 
You're scared to admit your fear for your future with him, not in the romantic expectations aspect, you would never, but for the simpler stuff like how are you going to look at his face and not be reminded of its presence between your legs. Or the unending tease he’ll become, even more so than usual, rightfully so. Make no mistake, you had pretty high expectations, and an overall picture of your relationships past it. Yet, last night was its own entity, reducing you to a mess in the most beautiful way, plucking every thought from your mind, yet dropping seeds of doubt like this.
Still, there’s a foolish smile on your face, and some soreness in between your legs, a welcomed ache.
Nonetheless, you’re not sure how to react when you descend the stairs, and he’s there, sharing tea with your aunt and uncle.
Obi Wan stands up in a blink, even before your aunt has the chance to react to your entry.
“Oh, here you are, sweetie! Just in time to join us in the gardens, and look, who’s here!”
“Hello, auntie. Uncle.” For what’s worth, you like being here, with them, and nothing changes that. You can feel the adamantine warm cloud of love in your chest. The reason you never doubted coming here.
“Lord Kenobi.” You greet him as well, though not with that big smile and sincerity you’ve just shown.
“My Lady.” His indifferent tone is interesting. Indifferent, yet indifferent as any other time, respectful and overly sympathetic. Maybe the situation isn’t as bad as you think? Yet, he’s here, isn’t he? His very presence is questionable enough.
“How good of the young man to join us, don’t you think? Though I fear it’s only due to work issues, and not out of courtesy.”
Yes, how good! And definitely not out of courtesy.
“You hurt me, Madam.” He objects, frowning his brows. “I must say this house, with its amiable hosts, has always had a great place in my heart. Last night once again proved it right, it was the best ball I’ve ever been to all summer. In fact, I was thinking of learning your contacts for the band and the cook, you inspired me to throw my own.”
You really, really try to not roll your eyes, and drop the tea that’s being offered to you now.
“Oh, no problem at all! I’ll write them down when we finish the paperwork in my study.” Your uncle says, and the absolute charmed look and excitation in his eyes have your stomach sinking. “And how are you, my dear? Haven’t you shaken out the morning chill yet?” He points to your shawl, wrapped tightly around your neck. You powdered the marks, and put on a big necklace, but then decided you couldn’t be too careful, and put on the fabric too.
“Yes, I think the weather change wasn’t quite easy on me this time.” You reach for the honey, making a show of it so they don’t put you in the center of attention.
“Did you sleep well last night?”So, it doesn’t work. And that’s about the one question you hoped to avoid.
“Despite the exertion taking place-“ Kenobi’s eyes widen, exaggerated by the teacup basically covering other parts of his face, and for a second you think he may choke on his tea. “downstairs, I say it was the best sleep I could’ve ever had.”
You hope your acting inspires the same in him too. He suppresses that little cough well, and the blush settling in his cheeks is faint, easily blamed on the warmth of the drink.
Strike one.
Irritation grows in you, rather than anxiety. Does he really think you’re that crude? That dumb? You make a point of not looking his way after that, an attitude clearly noticed by him in no time. It’s not like he has any chance of talking about it, but the alarm bell in his head rings continuously, busying his mind ‘til the opportune moment comes to talk about it.
Then, a gleeful screech of your name fills the room. In a blink, your cousin is right next to you, wrapping her arms tightly around your shoulder that you can’t properly stand up and hug her back in a normal way.
“I’ve been waiting for you to wake up all day long!” She says, hands reaching to hold yours, almost causing you to lose control of the fabric covering your neck. “We’ve got so much to do! And you were going to tell me all about Naboo! Did you really get to see the lions?”
“Sweetie-“ Despite the wildness of the affection you are given, there’s a huge smile on your face, and you almost make her sit on your lap- an old habit from her younger years.
“Come now- you promised to go riding with me. I want to show you how much I improved.”
“Well-“ your poor, poor legs are in no condition for that kind of activity. “I think it’s best if we do that tomorrow. You see, I had enough of it yesterday, I’ve been in a carriage all day.”
His smirking, twinkling eyes.
Strike two.
Your furious gaze kills that gleam quickly though. The faint smirk disappears, and he straightens his back, clearing his throat.
“Carolina, can’t you see we have a guest? Where are your manners? And give your poor cousin some space, for God’s sake!” Your aunt exaggerates like any mother of her generation, that high pitched voice screeching every ear in the room.
You should be glad to see the subject changed, but the condition of it is bitter. She bows her head down, taking a few steps away from you, but you hold onto her hand, keeping her near.
“Hello, young lady. I am Obi Wan Kenobi.” He sounds- sympathetic, though not overly. It is this sweet balance between respecting their being without the prejudices of age, but compassionate enough not to crush them under expectations they are yet to achieve. Interpreting this from just a couple of words seems a bit of a stretch, you know, still, his whole attitude screams he’s got some experience talking to kids, or considerable knowledge about the human psyche.
“He’s a friend of mine.” You explain further, trying to ease her.
“Welcome, Lord Kenobi.” She curtsies, yeah, she’s perfected that, you observe with proud eyes.
“I didn’t see you at the ball last night, I’m afraid.” Like he was there longer than an hour.
“It was past my bedtime.” The look she gives her parents tells him all he needs to know about her character, or precisely who influences her. He wonders if it was any similar to yours.  “I hope you had a wonderful time. You must’ve, because she’s an excellent dancer.” She turns at you, smiling so innocently that you can’t blame her for complicating things. “She taught me all about it, even better than my tutors.”
“Oh, no, we didn’t-“ The sentence synchronically rolls from both of your tongues, but you stop as you realize. There’s an abrupt silence in the room for a few seconds, causing anger to bubble up in you once more, and forcing you to make up an excuse to break free from this atmosphere.
“Hey,” You tug on her arm, “I’ve brought candy.” And just like that, she’s jumping all over you, bouncing with joy, “Sshh,” You warn. “First we need to go somewhere unseen.”
===
You see him again, days after, when he’s clearly learned his lesson, and gave you a window to breathe, calm your fury. The worst thing? It works. You can imagine (or in other words daydream) the next time you two see each other, which you desperately wish for it to be soon, and picture keeping yourself from stepping onto his feet, or shoving your finger into his chest. It all could not be forgotten but worked out through little warnings and explanations. Communication, basically.
And it turns out, you don't have to imagine any longer, and have the perfect opportunity to test your temper.
In a cafe. Where you sit alone. Blissfully ignorant of the couples (or to-be-couples) surrounding you. But most importantly, unchaperoned. (You had your tongue to defy any unwanted presence, and it's not like people came here alone like yourself. They came here for dates. And if anything, your presence was a litmus paper. What was to happen in marriage, if one couldn’t even keep their eyes from others in those little flirtatious rendezvous?)
(Though you knew some didn’t see it that way. A temptress, their choice of word to describe you.)
Obi Wan walks up to your table in quick, big steps that somehow don’t capture the attention of anyone but you. A further proof of that magic dust he sprinkles.  He’s dressed in browns today. It is a welcomed change. The smile on his face is unbeatably prominent, even as he follows the guide of manners, bowing his head and removing his hat before he sits in front of you. There’s no indication of his previous whereabouts in his looks and you wonder how he found you. Was he simply passing by the establishment before noticing your presence, or did he inquire about your engagements today, asking around?
"You shouldn't be here." It’s that sweet tone of yours, an alarm said in the softest of inclinations. “I have no company.” While it is redundant to both of your mindsets, the need of a chaperone for every conversation you have with strangers, you like to be cautious.
Then let me be it, he would’ve said, if it wasn’t literally the first time after your distasteful encounter. He’s not going to throw away that lesson for a shot of comedy. Or the fact that it’s hardly a request, but again- It’s not worth it. “I just wanted to say how sorry I was for the last time. It was- unadvisable to say the least.”
That- feels so good to hear, somehow. Far better than expected. You lean back in your chair, a sly smile on your face that you can’t help, and a subtle blush, a total contrast to your attitude.
“What can I say though? I don’t know if it’s still possible to be unsatisfied, but I sure felt like that if I didn’t see you again.”
Your fingers grasp the fork far too tightly, considering you have no appetite left for the desert in front of you. It’s the flashbacks from that night, and the undeniable effects it had on both of you.  
“Well, apology accepted.” 
He releases a breath after your words, visibly relaxed, amusing you further. You focus your gaze on the plate, in hopes of blending this conversation into the atmosphere around. 
You add. “Then again, don’t take my forgiveness for granted. None of my partners were this careless, and I seriously expected better from you.” 
(You're quite aware this is not the sort of conversation fit here.)
The interruption of “Oh, that will never even cross my mind.”, turns into “Partners?”, thankfully in a whisper, but sharp enough that it holds the same value as a shriek. He plays it off like it’s a frivolous question, a part of your ongoing banter, a mere thread to spin the conversation.
As if you gave the perfect impression of a blushing virgin that night. You flutter your lashes, as you take a bite. The silence is absolutely deafening, before you can continue. “There’s a reason I like traveling that much. Naboo. Correlia. Alderaan. God, even Hoth.” The discomfort in his face grows, and you fight it with an explanation, hoping that’s the reason. “Never at the same time, though, if it wasn’t obvious. It was just about having good company if I was to spend months in a city.”
“Yes, yes of course.” He shakes his head, an act of his nonjudgemental nature. “So, am I the Coruscant part of your little play?”
“No. You're the exception.” You laugh. “I haven’t- not here. I wouldn’t dare. Too little privacy. No trust. Above all, not a single soul that felt like a match of my own. Til I met you.” He deserves to hear that, right? “However I must say, the rules would be a little different here. Requires more caution. Fine work. For example, you couldn’t come and see me like this whenever you desire."
"Fair enough." He agrees, though makes little effort to follow the lesson. Actually, not even little, none. He just sits there, moulding into his chair further, a pleasant grin as he takes the world in, entertaining himself with the surrounding people. And you, of course. His piercing gaze travels back to you, every time.
Well, right. Not like you wanted him off of your table. "What do you want, Lord Kenobi?" And how did you know I would be here anyway? 
"Are you coming to the picnic on Saturday, in the Perlemian Park?"
You were certainly thinking about it. "Possibly."
"I'm only going if you are joining too." He wets his lips, an action you don't miss, and you continue to watch it long after he's done and see the next words coming out, before your brain can comprehend their meaning. "So, I'll need a better answer." 
The same lips that mapped out your entire body, whispered all those dirty things, tasted your hidden corners, drinking in the pleasure it provided…
He clears his throat, and you break out of the trance. He looks at you with a brow lifted, but the twinkles behind his blue eyes tell you it's not out of boredom. More like the exact opposite. 
"I'll be there." 
This is his cue to leave, with excitement for the said event, and a tinge of sadness for this interaction ending. You mirror his manners as he bids you a good day. 
Then, you're left alone, exactly as merely half an hour ago. Yet, the dessert in front of you is unsavory, nowhere near enough to satisfy your sweet tooth.  
It is still completely the same.
=== 
Comes Saturday, and does it come slower than possible… The weather seems like it's making one last show before the summer ends and scorches the earth, leaving everyone a sweating mess, little to no words coming out of their mouth, sprawled on the nearest surface. You seriously debate whether calling the offer off, the choice of fanning yourself to a lazy nap sounding better and better. It is in these extensive relaxations that you uncover the horrid truth- your fingers fell short in bringing you pleasure now, making you an even more sweaty, frustrated mess rather than the relaxed, drowsy mess you want to be. It is an awful revelation, bringing along many questions that haunt your every waking hour. You fear it's got something to do with him- and the best prescription for you is to stay away.
Alas, you keep true to your promise and show up. 
Thankfully the air has calmed down on said day, and sorbets are refreshing, making it more than a bearable experience. Bearable is actually an insult in this case, for it is more than that. These people are some of your oldest friends, close to your age, and share your opinions. It is hard not having fun when you are allowed to be free (just a little more than normal, though it is enough). None cares about the obscene gossip, or juices of fruit staining faces, dripping onto the expensive fabrics you all are adorned in. Laughs are loud and constant, never letting three minutes go without them. Hands are all flying around, hitting each other as a joke, reaching for the last piece of cake, taking the very dangerous road back without spilling a drop of the drink (which is, once again, a target of pranks).
Obi Wan enjoys it as much as you do, despite the fact that he doesn’t know them like you do. His life doesn’t allow much leisure time, and his choice of friends is mostly unfitting to these kinds of events, but he doesn’t have a problem finding joy in these kinds of events. Maybe it is mostly due to you, watching you in your nature, admiring the way you handle yourself among the crossfire of jokes, or what foods you prefer the most, making silly expressions as the taste of them hits just right. With every little thing he learns about you, he’s drawn closer to you. Once, he would name you a mystery, yet that would indicate the thrill was all in revelation. Now, it is the exact opposite. He gets more excited with each new question, like what is the actual story behind the “donkey joke” you are hinting at, or why do you pick some of the seemingly perfectly looking strawberries aside and pick others- or why you blush when you catch him looking at you, only to do the same yourself?
It is only in the afternoon that the buzz leaves its place for something serene. Conversations diminish, replies take longer, bodies sag and lean on the nearest surface, be the tree trunks or picnic baskets or their loved ones.
C’mon then, let’s take a walk. One proposes, and others follow, albeit slowly and with protests. You are among the latter, every cell in your body refusing to produce or use energy.
Maybe that’s one of the reasons you end up at the very back of the group with Lord Kenobi, and while you manage to stick with him unlike your friends, the distance between you and them grows and now, you can safely say that you’ve lost the sight of them. Twenty minutes ago.
So yes, you’ve been walking alongside him in silence. Far away that you don’t brush hands, yet so close that it would raise questions if someone were to see.
“I don’t think this is doing much for my somnolence.” He basically yawns.
"Should I take that as an insult, my Lord?" 
"Why would you- what did I say to make you think so?" He shakes his head, as stubborn as he's apologetic, ready to accept the accusation if your reasons are firm. Still, his heart is already pacing up, distressed. That must be the wine taking over.
"Well, am I not the only reason for your presence? And I must be boring you, if you are still feeling drowsy." 
"No- Absolutely untrue- “ He stutters, a panic to find the right words, not to be buried under your claims, he is not going to lose his chance to be by your side- only to realize the grin on your face too late.
"You little minx." He breathes out, and is rewarded by the sound of your tempting giggle. 
"Seems like I successfully rid you of your problem." You take pride. "And now, I suggest walking by the lake, to ensure its permeance."
"You mean to dip my feet in the water?" Again, he shakes his head, already rejecting the proposition.
"If you don't do it I shall." You skip, prancing like a nymph before he grabs you by the arm. 
“I don’t think that is safe.”
“It perfectly is.” You state, bewildered by his anxious urge. One look into his hand, and he remembers to let you go. The said hand flies to his hair, with an exasperated sigh.
“Okay, but – let me be by your side. And make it quick.”
The fact that he thinks you need his approval is downright funny, though you’d take issue with it any other time. Now, you are amused by his good intended worries and don’t have it in your conscience to break his heart over it, or bring up a quarrel.
So, you start undressing. Only your socks and shoes.
Still, the blush settles on his cheeks, and the light behind his eyes burns brighter as he sees the skin just above your knees naked. Not for the first time- still, he feels like turning his back on you, but does no such thing. And that is not because it defeats the purpose of his presence.
God, how could you even make you believe he wasn’t planning on having these impure thoughts?
You feel your temperature rising, and it has nothing to do with the sun. You meet his hypnotized eyes, and can still feel it focused on you. After days of dissatisfaction, its effect is multiplied by ten, making your heart race. You pray none of it is visible on your face. the last thing you need is for him to know.
He laughs when you lay the white fabric in the old woods of the docks, like the spoiled child you are. It is more than likely to stain, but more importantly, it is definitely old, creacking under every step, hence his aversion to sit beside you with a head shake. You shrug in return, and pull your skirt slightly above your knees, swinging your legs back and forth.
“Oh, this is lovely!” You say, sprawling your toes in the water. “Truly, you are missing out.”
“I believe you, my Lady.” His tone is joyful, just the right combination of trust and mockery.
You turn to look at him, a big mistake. The excess part of your dress brushes the surface, wetting the fabric, though it is the last thing you care. He is looking at you, with that charming grin, and subtle hunger etched into his gaze, screaming worship, in complete awe of the scene he's beholding, the prettiest girl he’s ever seen, holding his hand, her dress bunched up like in those ancient paintings of fairies, and endless passion for the leading role of it. It swirls the emotions deep inside your belly, the only reaction you want to avoid. Yet, you’re not immune to it. your heart skips a beat, the tingles overtaking your skin.
“Look- I see fishes!” You whip your head, the one thing you can do in hopes of breaking the tension. You lean forward, trying to get a clear view, or try to do so because you are stopped by his grip.
“That’s enough.” The command sends a shiver down your spine. “You shouldn’t go any further.”
“Fine.” You huff, the simplest protest you can manage. His touch softens as he realizes you’re going to follow his words, though takes long to let go.
A few minutes pass in the silence of nature.
“How long are you going to stand like this?” You ask, exasperated that this isn’t going anything like you imagined.
“What?”
“I feel like I’m also standing, this is hardly fun.”
“That is only the result of your own choice.”
Narrowing your eyes, you huff and climb back on your feet, disregarding the objections of the offended dock. Then, you push past him- 
He suddenly pulls you back, promptly disrupting your balance, a tactic he uses to pick you up into his arms. You scream as your feet meet the air, hands grabbing anything they can reach which ends up being his clothes.
“What are you doing?!” You yell, burying your fingers into him. With how strong your grip is, you can feel every muscle tensing under your touch. 
“I’m not gonna let you walk in that mud, after all.” He explains like it was the problem you were referring to.”
“My shoes! – and-”
“Don’t worry, I’ll get them.”
He adores the pout you have as he fetches them.
He leans his back on the tree, and you rest your arms on your knees, propped up.
“So, we are to sit here and sulk?”
“If you name it so.” His smile is borderline insulting, ear to ear. With one look, he points at the reason- your wet feet. There’s literally no choice but to wait for them to dry up. But by proposing the only solution, he infuriates you further.
“Very interesting.” You snark. “I would’ve just stood back if I knew this was what we would be doing.”
“And now it is I who might take those words as an insult. Have I somehow proven my companionship to be loathsome in the times we spent together?”
Times you spent together… The flashbacks are, as implied in their name, flash before your eyes at such great speed that by the time you realize it is not something you should ponder upon now, your heart rate is already up, the flame deep in your belly ignited once again, and even the sounds of the past are echoing in your ears. You turn your head away from him, cursing at the color blooming on your cheeks.
Oh, but the action is enough to let him know exactly what you are feeling, a song of “I thought so” on his tongue- yet he doesn’t sing it yet, realizing the underestimation of his own emotions. He brings it upon himself- a glance at you, taking in your red face (as much as possible) and bare legs, let out to the sun to dry up.
“Well, I’ll think that’s the case if you don’t say anything.” He opts to say this instead, loving to taunt you further. 
“It’s not.” You mumble, still turned to the other side, fingernails digging at your palm.
“I can’t hear you, dear.”
“I said-“
The moment you move your head, you are met with his face, so close to yours, a distance he promptly closes by placing a hand at your neck, and tugging at it, ‘til your lips crash. You lose your balance once more, gripping his collars to not fully crush him with your weight. You gasp, the only protest you have in yourself, because for all your resolve to stay away, here you are, falling right into his arms. And it feels so damn good.
You gasp, pushing him. He laughs as his back hits the tree, never once breaking eye contact.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” You whisper-scream, suddenly aware of the fact that while you are all alone on this field, your friends are still very much around.
“Oh, what am I doing? It is you, darling, don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you were looking at me.”
You direct your gaze to the ground, embarrassment getting the better of you.
“What is it?” He questions your lack of defiance. “You had no problem before. Don’t tell me you’re scared of being seen. They should at least be like, a mile away.”
Yeah. That’s absolutely correct. Besides, you’re shielded from any unwanted visitors by the thick line of trees, and the sheer distance between there and the path. It is a secluded corner of the lakeside.
“Or is there something else that’s bothering you?” This, is said in a more suggestive tone, and its effect is only amplified by the way he holds your chin to refocus your attention. You burn under his grasp and insistent watch.
Say farewell to your pride.
You let yourself fall over him once more, kissing him with a whimper you can’t quite suppress. You feel his smirk at that, but neither of you dwells on it, for he too lets out a sound of desperation, panting as he pulls you close, placing you on his thigh. (You hear your dress positively rubbing against the grass, and dare not to imagine the green blotch that may appear.) You don’t know whether to celebrate your newfound closeness or chastise your weak will, for it creates a new wave of desire in you as you delve your fingers into his beard. Your skin lights up against his coarse hair, so familiar yet so unyielding under your touch, and to be holding his face in your hands like this only blinds you more. So blind that you only realize the movement of your hips, seeking pleasure, when he holds them.
“See? That’s what I’m talking about.” A kiss right on the left corner of your lips. “Are you haunted by that night so deeply that you are unable to satisfy your needs on your own, like me? Or hell, with another?” Even in the midst of haze, you don’t miss the way his eyes darken at the mention of a third party.
“No- only you.” You whisper, too afraid of things ending.
“Fuck.” He can���t help but burst at your surrender. “That’s my girl. Lift your hips a little for me, darling.”
You oblige without question, raising yourself on your trembling thighs. Holding your breath, imagining all the things he can do to you… He is bewitched by your neediness, the way you moan at the first contact his hand makes with your skin after lifting your skirt just above your knees so you have more freedom to move, and can directly sit on his thigh.  
Speaking of it, why? Your eyebrows scrunch as he pushes you down like that, though the actual questioning part comes a second after your clit rubs against the fabric, not his cock, the first jolt of true ecstasy you experienced in a while, but that can’t be the case for him, right? “What are you-?”
“Trust me.” He takes his sweet time to relish the expense of your neck, so close for his taking, partly to ease your nerves, and frankly it is too much fun for his own good to feel you twitch in anticipation, and your breath getting stolen away at his open-mouthed kisses, panting when he lingers on a spot for too long at the fear of him leaving a bruise. “No marks, I perfectly remember.” He has to confess after a point, and only after that point, you begin to truly relax, and have your heart beating so fast at the same time, noticing your wetness is positively seeping into his clothes.
Your jaw hangs open with a silent pant as he decides it’s enough, and guides your body, rocking onto his. It’s not something you haven’t done before, but there’s something so unique about now, maybe the scandalous location, or your depraved state, or simply everything regarding him, that you are convinced it looks like your first time. Shit, it may even be your first time, considering the previous examples are nowhere close to this, the stakes, the desperation, the payoff… You’re holding onto his shoulders like a fucking virgin, pressed so close to receive every bit of affection he's giving. It’s the damn heat, the greatest excuse on your lips for the last couple of weeks, invalidated by the nonexistence of space between you and him. It only causes sweat to pour out of both of you, like the constant drip out of your cunt, sabotaging all your attempts to gain control, and create the slightest of frustration. 
“Obi Wan.” You chant his name, unable to form any other word, and he drinks it all in, valiantly ignoring the ache in his cock. It is a hard task, a growing challenge as your knee brushes against it from time to time, especially when you try to take initiative and escape the rhythm he’s trying to create.
“Ah-ah-ah- Let me take over. You know we’re short on time, darling.”
Then, he does justice to his words as he bounces his leg, the added pressure claiming a gasp from you.
“Do that again.” What your efforts can't get you, maybe your pleads can. After all, you're just as stubborn as him, giving up easily is not on your book.
“Only because you asked so nicely.”  
You roll your eyes, though it is totally due to annoyance, and let out a moan, throwing your head back. The fresh air does nothing for your lungs anymore, just an outlet for your scandalous noises. Which, he has no complaints too, your erratic breaths warmed his neck enough, and blessed him with those sweet sounds, right under his ear. Oh, but in any other case, this was anywhere else, and he had to silence you, also which he has no complaints too. Perhaps the sole problem is missing the blissed out expressions of your pretty face, and the light in your eyes, burning for him.
“Are you close?” Like he even needs to ask, like he’s not aware of your moans turned whimpers.
“Hmmh.” Is all the answer he gets, and that’s enough for him, laughing quietly, as you feel the vibrations of his chest.
When you cum, it is indeed an earth-shattering moment, and an end to your misery, the first drop of water after thirst- so much so that you don’t care about it happening in such a short time. Your legs squeeze his firm thigh, shaking over them like the rest of you. His one hand travels to your waist, holding you steady and pressed against him. You swear you can feel every aspect of his hand over three layers of fabric, yet he’s not actually exerting that much power, treating you like a delicate flower, afraid to crush the silky petals.
You sigh as the trembles die down, your senses coming back to you one by one- the first and foremost the tension in the body beneath you. Your fingers loosen from his collars, and travel the expanse of his torso slowly, a kiss to his throat in the meantime.
“Don’t you worry about me.” His voice is slightly shaky, though it may very well be due to his exertion.
“I think I should.” Its trueness is further proven when you palm him, and he groans. Though he is insistent.
“Look at you, you sweet thing, concerned with me walking around with a hard-on.”
That has you rolling your eyes, and removing your hand. Removing your entire body, even. You settle on the grass, leaning on your elbows. Your dress is already ruined, so you’re past the point of worrying.
“On the other hand, you may want to think about this.” He points to his wet trousers, the dark stain visible even though the fabric is black.
Uh oh. That is indeed a problem, if you are to return soon. Unfortunately, your brain can’t grasp the danger, coming up with solutions like soaking him entirely in the lake… 
So, it’s no wonder that your next words are a joke.“You marked me, I marked you. We're even.”
To your surprise, it works. His laughter fills the entire forest, yours a whisper in comparison. The idea that maybe, just maybe this can be repeated every now and then, that it wouldn't harm anyone fills your chest with a different kind of cheer, a hopeful sensation that suits the summer. He's proven his carefulness, making the best of the situation without risking either of you. The rising hope in you should scare you, but it doesn't. It only makes you sprawl under the sun like a cat enjoying the heat, and join his laughter with a big grin.
“Fair. Absolutely fair.”
===
The next time you see each other again, things seem to cool down a bit. It is entirely a civil dinner, always at a respectable distance, the number of times you lock eyes are countable on one hand (though some border the edge of being a little too long), and it is all not so surprisingly, plain. Maybe it is about both of you trying to contain one’s self, so much so that the other core aspect of both of you, the humorous side is buried that night and no other person can live up to its ghost. Perhaps it is due to the upcoming end of summer, bringing out a tinge of melancholy, already mourning the past, thus your impulses dwindle down, the sparkles absent.
That is, ‘til, you are the only occupants in the saloon, after the other guests have left, and your aunts retreated to their rooms. You are reading a book, barely aware of the fact when he, sitting next to you in that single armchair drops whatever pen he’s holding, just by your feet. You’re pulled out of your trance by the sound it creates, raising your gaze from the page just in time to see him bending over to retrieve it or- ending up completely kneeling in front of your legs.
He raises his head, and you watch the way his face softly being illuminated by the candlelight, a smile you can’t decide whether charming or devilish, long abandoning his mission.
That’s the moment the air shifts, and the room feels hotter like the cheminee is lit, the heat wave has returned, and taken both of you to that lakeside, and the week before it, the frustration and despair that came with being unable to take care of yourself. You haven’t felt such a thing after, perhaps, it’s due to your fulfilled state and therefore lack of trial, but now, the need returns, like adding more to an already full cup, realization only hitting after the drops spill from the sides. The cup demands to be emptied, - translation: your soul demands whatever pleasure you can get your hands on- and the image of him causing it is certainly a preference.
(Again, it is your soul that’s demanding it- your brain would very much like to lock you away in the furthest corner of this house, or kick him, if that’s all you can manage.)
“Excuse me?”
“I just remembered how I failed to say how beautiful you look tonight.” 
“Thank you.” Your mouth speaks before you can protest the improperness of your situation. Color settles on your cheeks for accepting his compliment first. “What are you doing?”
“Collecting my pen.” He shrugs, and demonstratively takes it to his hand, yet it is once more left to the ground instead of the nearest table, with the rest of his papers. He adds, “I admire how you are an expert in navigating every social situation, whether it's a boring dinner like this, or a ball.
Your eyebrows raise at the boring part, after all, it's hosted by your relatives, and it wasn't exactly boring, maybe a little uneventful. “Not every occasion has to be full of adventure, Lord Kenobi. Slow nights like this are beneficial for the soul. Gives the mind some rest.” 
He purses his lips, like he’s been told on his bluff, the one part he emphasized to sound strong. Because, he is. He had fun tonight, the type that fills one’s heart with sweet lethargy. “I suppose you’re correct. But you’re missing out on an important detail.”
“And what is that?”
“The right company.”
You’re glad that your hands were pressing against the book, holding the page, because if they weren’t, they would be visibly shaking.
“I have underestimated how much I missed you, that much is clear to me now.” Barely speaking, or barely speaking anything important with you throughout the evening, yet he feels rejuvenated, the ache in his chest becoming prominent as it starts the heal. He doesn’t say the last part, but the sentiment is reflected in the soft sparkle behind his eyes, the hypnotic storm, pulling you towards unknown chaos, but beautiful, and promising safety in its center. That’s why you don’t protest as his hand reaches for yours, brushing your knee (he wanted to do that for some time, to feel the soft fabric that basically decorates your body), interlocking fingers, and reluctantly retreating them in favor of taking the book that sits in your lap, setting it aside. You don’t protest, despite the screams in your head, saying he’s right there why is he still there-
 “And the other thing I missed terribly, the sight of your legs.”
Your shaky inhale echoes.
His fingers gently close over your ankles, and travel upwards slowly, lifting your dress alongside. “Though I’ve only seen them twice, they might be my favorite view, ever.”
“Is that so?” You are perplexed by the confession, with a lazy grin, very much enjoying the seduction. His way with words seems like a constant threat to your sanity, but damn do you adore it dearly, a voluntary victim to its spell.
“Why would I ever lie to you?” He whispers, hands tightening. “I like them very much. But I think I would like them better around my shoulders.” He pulls your knees slightly, causing you to yelp as your back caves in, and grasps your ankles once more, proceeding to demonstrate exactly his words.
“What are you doing?” You ask, like you don’t know the answer. It is a statement, an acknowledgment, the last chance to bring some sense into any of you. You’re in the living room, in a house that is not your own, filled with people who are still very well awake, and can just decide to come in.
“Having a second dessert, if I may?” And how can you refuse, after the image is served to you on a golden plate?
“But at the lake - You were-” 
“You think I'm doing this for recompensation?”
“No, I didn't mean to imply that.” God, this is embarrassing. “I just wanted to say I might miss having my way with you.”
“I’ll be glad to take that as a promise.”
Then, it is settled. 
Still, he waits for your small nod and takes in the way you bite your lip, wishing he was the one to do so, but- priorities. Time is a valuable asset, especially now, and he has to honor his offer. That’s why he opts for a few small, open mouthed kisses to your inner thighs, actively fighting the desire to leave bruises, evidence, a memory. Judging by the rapidness of your breath, it seems he has reached his goal in some way. It’s the beard- scratching your skin even when his mouth is not doing something, sensitizing the flesh and making it all too susceptible to the incoming assault. Your hand flies up, absentmindedly reaching for his hair, yet stopping a second before, landing on the couch instead- if you messed up his hair, there’s no coming back from it. He chuckles at your struggle, the warm breath making you squirm. Even if you don’t, he’s maddened by action, despite the laugh. He has you- but not really. He’s enveloped in your heat, taking in your scent, and seconds away from tasting you, but is not able to be blessed with the slight pain he'd felt if you tugged on his strands, or the untamed sounds you’d have sung in a more private setting.
So yes, he’s as torn and desperate as you. Slow nights, you said? 
Truth be told, it doesn’t matter what adjective comes before the word; slow or fast, boring or exciting as hell, freezing or hellishly hot; if it is with you, it is a good night. Otherwise, it is lacking. The world may be painted gray forever, considering you two mostly don’t get the chance to spend more than two occasions together in a week, but there can be no comparison to colorful scene of those moments.
And this is the night Obi Wan admits that fact.
You both moan, when his tongue finally meets your cunt, licking a messy stripe. It is more of a vibration than a noise- possibly for the best. It makes you jolt, and his hold tightens, and again, it is for the best, because when he decides to pay attention to your clit after his time exploring your folds is done, your limbs start to shake, threatening to fall. Your eyes roll back when things settle, and pleasure starts to build up, your juices flowing, and he drinks it all in before they have the chance to make a mess of your dress.
That is the first time he takes a break. “Eyes on me, darling.”
What is with him and that special request?
Your whine doesn’t mean anything to him, except make his cock twitch in his now tight trousers- but that has other reasons too. He waits ‘til your eyelids open once more, and you meet his gaze, and a second longer, unable to resist the urge to get lost in your hazy expression. Then, he dives back in, swirling the muscle around your bundle of nerves. In any other circumstance, you’d have thought this would be too indelicate, so straight to the point, no fun or respect, yet his way to do so is anything but those qualities. His movements are precisely designed for you, slow enough to not cause discomfort, fast enough to make the best of your unknown time limit. You’re afraid to deduce that one time was enough for him to learn you, one time to turn your world upside down, and leave you to deal with the memory of it. 
“Sweetie?” That’s the first time your eye contact is broken. The world freezes for a second before it does, and your head whips to the direction the sound has come from, to find your aunt by the door. Miraculously, she continues to stand there, unbothered by the long and protective distance which compromises of the dining table and the back of your couch, a perfect cover for the scandal that is taking place. Obi Wan stills, perhaps even stops breathing, yet he’s the one to snap you out of your shock with his grip around your skin. It is ridiculously encouraging, knowing he's not abandoning you on your own, even at the expense of getting caught, and the dread it would surely follow.
“Yes, auntie?” You gulp. Trying not to sound breathless is a clear effort.
“Have you seen Lord Kenobi?”
Your reputable smartness lags, the answer of yeah, he’s right here IN BETWEEN MY LEGS, occupying your mind.  “I think he went out to get some air, I haven’t seen him for some time.”
“How odd.” She comments, “And what are you doing there on your own?”
“Reading my book.” You smile, and hope your cheeks’ tremble isn’t too noticeable. “It’s quite good- couldn’t tell the time.”
She scorns. “Oh, now I see- he must’ve gotten bored as you were buried in your book. You truly should work on your guest etiquette, dear. And Lord Kenobi, of all people!”
“Auntie!” Your eyes widen, and you squeal a little, and feel Obi Wan giggling quietly.
“I’m just saying, that you should treat him better- he’s a good person, and obviously fancies you.”
“Auntie!”
“I mean, I like him? Don’t you like him?”
The urge the scream has never been stronger.
To escape the subsequent questions should you answer otherwise, you give in, and sag.” I do.” And the worst thing is, you actually do. Objectively, you like him, all his little jokes and sweet tongue (no pun intended), the elegant form he carries himself in, and the kind nature he never fails to live up to. Except for the dangerous extent your relationship is getting into, there’s nothing about him that you don’t like. And truthfully, even that is barely a matter you care about, proven by your current situation. 
You can feel him smile, the coarse facial hair biting into your skin, rubbing like a cat, and the sensation is followed by a kiss on your thigh. 
“Then you know what I am saying is the truth.” She raises her eyebrows in a motherly manner, a loving attempt of intervention. “Don’t stay up too late, no matter how absorbing that book is. We are invited for breakfast to the Mon’s Estate.”
Thankfully, she’s gone like that, saving you the act.
When you turn to your front again you find the need to come up with a warning to make him shut up unnecessary for he kisses you, silencing both of you. The action brings color to your cheeks more than ever in this entire evening. The fact that you can taste yourself on his tongue aside, he’s so gentle about it, like congratulating your success, or admiring your talent, pouring out his affection for you. You can’t help but wrap your legs around his wide torso, it is how good it feels. When you two part, the lack of breath gets the best of you, only then do the swarming butterflies in your stomach begin to disturb you again.
But you’re not so quick to forget the last couple of minutes. Perhaps you've spoken too soon back then at the lake, thinking this could be continued. You’d imagined the rest of this scene a little differently, letting him follow you to your room, returning the favor, but that scare has only helped you to brew a storm inside you.
“Obi Wan…” You whisper, brows cinched in concentration as he towers over you, claiming all your senses. “We can’t- we have to stop…”
“Sshh, calm down.” His thumb draws circles on your skin, trying to soothe you in one aspect, if not every. He’s not going to let you go to your bed shaken like this, for starters. “Take a deep breath.”
You try, twice before you can manage to fill your lungs in their entirety, and your achievement is rewarded with a peck to your neck. Some of the air leaves you in an abrupt exhale because of it, and he curses himself for it.
“Follow my lead.” He tries again, reclining on his knees, giving you space. It is another challenge to look into his ocean eyes, and match his pattern, but you manage, your heart beat semi-regular after a minute or so.
Semi, for said eyes and your bare pussy are face to face, and all common sense loses its importance, burned by the fire inside you.
“Obi Wan- please…”
“You sure?” He will be very disappointed if you change your mind, but he has to ask, play the sensible part. And ignore the constant throb in his trousers that has become even more unbearable after you confessed your feelings.
“Just… make it quick.” Oh, are you seriously requesting an orgasm like ordering a cake in a café?
“As you wish, love.”
He starts out the same, just playing his game a little faster, and he holds your hand as he does so, the small detail as efficient as his moves. But, the final blow is his other hand, prodding against your entrance. The flood of memories doesn’t help either, as you remember that night. A loud moan threatens to leave you, and you slap your palm against your mouth. He stops ‘til you are secured, praise in his eyes, and pushes the two digits in, stretching you out in the way. Your fingers are nothing in comparison, and he notices it immediately, the way your walls hug him. 
Though, he’s an expert, and can absolutely manage to take care of you properly, so there’s nothing but pleasure, your slick channel welcoming the intrusion. It is not long before he feels the resistance fading and returning in a new form, as your climax approaches, and your muscles begin to quiver.
With your noises secured in your throat, the only form of communication is your connected hands, squeezing each other sometimes enough to risk breaking fingers. He understands what you mean perfectly, reaching up to a certain speed, then keeping it the same ‘til you start trashing, legs violently shaking around his body, and juices dripping, this time more than he can clean up. If any other time, he wouldn’t stop ‘til he feasted on every drop of it, but he withholds himself, respecting the clouds of danger. He’s glad to have helped with your anxiety, yet he doesn’t want to carry the ease to dangerous level and make you susceptible to be swayed in whatever direction.
Well, the image of his messy, wet beard certainly sends you through the wrong one, but already your nerves are not able to take more risks tonight, so you just bite your lip hard enough to draw blood, and lower your legs to the ground as he starts by cleaning out his fingers. It is hard to believe any man would try this much to indulge in your every aspect, but here he is, careful about even the smallest part.
Damn, you want to take him to your room and let him have his way with you so bad- but this is enough adventure for a night.
“Good night, Lord Kenobi.” You say, fixing your skirt, and standing up on shaky legs with your book clutched in the tightest grip against your belly.
“Good night, darling.” He nods, a content smile. “Send my compliments to the chef. “
===
“Lord Kenobi?”
You’re justified in your shock, enough to express it out loud in the middle of the jewelry shop, the last place you’d expect to run into him. Of course, he’s a neat and subtle man, and his appearance reflects his statue, though in a very calculated yet effortless manner. His pocketwatch is a family heirloom, so you’ve been told, a chic piece he takes great care of, and while his cufflinks are always elegant, it is never that eye-catching. It only compliments its wearer, you dare say, a final addition to an already completed painting.
(You never denied his handsomeness, and this is an objective opinion. Don’t read much into it.)
His supposed loneliness coupled with the fact that he looks utterly lost and bored, your curiosity is aggravated further.
Also, bumping into each other? What is this, a trick of fate?
“Madame.” He bows, and moves to press a kiss to your hand, the tradition not forgotten. His shock is easily ridden, unlike yours. The small blush on his cheeks and the wide grin on his lips tell contradictory stories, not that you’re judging, but the evident thing is his excitement.
“What are you doing he-”
“What a coincidence-“ His interruption is most unexpected, along with the high pitch in his voice.
You tilt your head, further dazed, but before the suspicion creeps in (you would be terrified to turn your gaze and find women’s accessories laid out for his picking on the table, for somebody else or for you; the latter being the lesser evil, but still disturbing), another joins, though he doesn’t seem to notice you at first.
“How helpful you are being, Obi Wan!” The tall young man with light brown hair calls out, necklaces hanging from both hands. You have a feeling that if he wasn’t busy, there would’ve been a physical reaction as well, a friendly pat on his shoulder, perhaps. “Don’t you know this is important? I need-“
His sentence is broken when he catches your attentive gaze, and realizes you are a part of this conversation as well. You’re amused by how glass-like he is, full of emotions and not afraid to show them. He looks at you, and back to Obi Wan, who finally decides it’s time for an introduction. The expression of recognition flashes through his face in a second as your name is revealed, but you can’t reflect it back fully. You have heard of Kenobi’s best friend or as some call it, brother, although barely from the man himself. You've witnessed how Kenobi's eyes lighten up with pride whenever Skywalker was mentioned, and stories- summaries of their adventures together that he told. The shortness of them wasn't a result of his unwillingness to tell them, but the circumstances of your company, never long or alone enough to visit them in their deserved entirety. 
To be honest, Anakin doesn't know much about you either. He and Padme prefer the countryside by the sea, especially during the summer, thus he and Obi Wan hadn't had the means to talk often lately. He senses the situation, by the slight tension in the older man's voice; this strong, confident man crumbling into pieces for some unknown reason. 
“Pleased to meet you, my Lady.” He makes a small cursty, which you mirror.  
“Likewise, Lord Skywalker.” 
“I’m afraid I’ll need my friend back to keep his promise.” The chains in his hands shake as he speaks, reminding the absurdity of it all. You’re not disturbed by it though, for all is concealed under his charismatic voice and mimics. He’s pretty and he knows it, which gives him all the tools to captivate others. Now you understand why people speak about him like that, moved by hearing his name alone.
“Oh, not a problem at all. We were just saying hello.” Entertained by the interaction, your anxiety is somewhat diminished, enough to let him go without an explanation. Also, the way that he rolls his eyes, and clenches his jaw is very cute, you dare say.
“Promise? I never promised anything.” He murmurs, but it is still audible for you as he follows his friend. And the rest, which makes you laugh whenever you remember it. “Anakin- she's your wife, you know her better than me. How exactly do you expect me to help you?”
“You always had a vision when it comes to beautiful things. Not like my eyes, which are only accustomed to the dirt and grease of machinery.”
You have to bite the inside of your cheeks to stop grinning, while you start talking with the salesman about the bracelet you’ve given them to restore. They make you sit and wait for a couple of minutes, all of which you spend trying to not spy on them. Fortunately, the shop is quite crowded, and their conversation is a part of the low grumble. A cup of tea is placed in front of you, as well as some new pieces they think you might like.
The one that catches your attention is not among them, however. It is a ring with a blue stone, the tone too similar to something you can’t put your finger on. It is too big to be for a woman, clearly designed for the other sex, but you admire its elegance nonetheless.
“Here is your piece, Madame.” The young salesman returns with a package, just in time to stop you from reaching it.
“Thank you.” You take the precious item back into your hands and inspect the handwork. It is shining once again, polished, and the place you accidentally broke it is now attached, the handwork barely visible.
You release a deep breath, praying graces. You would’ve never forgiven yourself if the family heirloom was forever damaged from the incident. You almost cried when it happened, a stupid game you were playing with Carolina before a ball, when you had already gotten ready and she was counting the minutes to her bedtime.  
“That is beautiful.” Obi Wan joins you once more, now looking more relaxed. Your eyes search for Anakin and find him waiting for a package, reaching for his wallet. Mission accomplished. “May I?”
The chain slides into his hands, and wraps around your wrist under the watch of the young boy with a wholesome smile. He must think you two are engaged in some way, and there’s no turning back from it.
“Would that be all, Madame?”
“Actaully I-“ You remember about the ring, and even if you just want to unravel the mystery around it, the words have already left your mouth, and the entire tray is placed on the table.
Oh. Oh. With him next to you, suddenly it all makes sense. You’re holding the color of his eyes on your palm.
“That is beautiful too.” He remarks, embracing his role a little too much.
“I think it would suit you.” Now it is your turn to accessorize him. He is silent while you do so, taken aback by the unorthodoxty of it all.
“I’m not sure-“ Is all he manages to say, though can’t stop looking at it. It is ridiculously so well fitted around his finger, the fate pulling all strings to give a message.
“It compliments your eyes.” You defend yourself, perhaps a little too lively but you have no shame. It is the truth.
“The Lady is correct.” The boy joins your side, or does his job. “It is a most excellent match.”
“I might think about it.” Is how far he budges, returning it, and checking up on Anakin from where he’s standing. 
“How much do I owe you?”
“Please, allow me-“
The audacity? The though is reflected in your face, which makes him blush at his unnecessary offer.
“With the ring.” You add, and it is all said and done ‘til he has time to get rid of his embarrassment and intervene.
Then, you make him take the package from you, your fingers wrapping around his. “You’re allowed to have nice things, you know?” There’s not an ounce of sarcasm in your tone, only gentle suggestion. “You don’t have to wear it, but I want you to have it.”
“Thank you.”  
And you’re gone before Skywalker can catch up.
===
You truly don’t expect to see him wearing it, you really don’t.
But you’re proven wrong so, so badly.
He doesn’t take it off.
When he takes on his promise, and actually starts working on the ball he’s supposed to throw, the first thing he does is request for your uncle’s help. Then your uncle entrusts the job on you, and you’re spending hours with him like that, securing the musicians, bargaining for the food supplies, preparing invitation lists… Truly, that’s it. You too are surprised to accompany him that much and engage in nothing outside of the mission. Truthfully, a little concerning in the grand scheme of things, the inevitable result of your relationship improving, real sincerity. Although you have zero problems with the fact, enjoying it far too much. You don't care about how your contributions are secret, for your efforts surpass the limits of help that are considered friendly, and fully acknowledge that it is gonna be a damn good ball. 
Also, while you hate to see him distressed, it is a look on him that you are guilty of adoring. The nervousness is like a little crack in his shell, a way to see a part of him that rarely sees the daylight. And it is for something so feeble? Only half of his effort would be enough for a wonderful ball, and he still tries to do more, and gets agitated over that? You are cruel for laughing at that, you confess. But it is more of a balancing act, rather than a mock. Somebody's gotta play the sane part, lower the tension. 
You're ready to help with that, too.
“Do you think I should hire-” 
You're at his study, the place you've been sitting since the morning. Time flies with every cup of tea, and plates of biscuits, but after a while, things inevitably get boring. For you, at least. He's quite focused, brows scrunched, tie slightly loosened. You see him looking at the list that you've put together in the beginning, the possible ways to entertain his guest. 
You've already arranged the services of more than half of them. Twice the amount that would be considered enough.
And he's still going over it?
“That's enough!” Your open palm lands on the surface. 
Obi Wan doesn't expect your outburst. He doesn't flinch, but his mimics change in an equivalent way. His lips part, causing him to relax that clenched jaw -oh, you might have a point. 
“You. Need. To. Relax.” You’re now less frantic, due to his irresistibly clueless expression, though still firm in your cause. Fuck, how can he look at you with those doe eyes and expect you to… do anything! 
You get up, and reach for the papers, sending them in a far corner of the desk. While you do so, you are basically halfway in between him and the table. Putting the teacups and the pot back on the tray (it has grown cold a long time ago), you turn to him, almost sitting at the desk in order to fit that narrow space. The bashful smile on his face (as if he wasn’t enjoying the perfect view of your ass seconds before) breaks your heart once more.
Putting your hand on his shoulder, you mirror his emotion. “It’s gonna be a splendid night. The kind that people will talk about it for years. And I’m not exaggerating on that one. I would’ve said the same thing days ago, all before the last additions, too.”
It is a challenge to feel the warmth of your skin, and not lean against it. “You’re right.” He tugs on his collar, taking a deep breath. “But you know- I’ve never planned a ball in my life, and- I just need it to be perfect.”
You giggle, and replace your hand on his cheek that is colored with the confession of his little perfection obsession. You welcome the slight sting of his beard, like a habit, and caress his cheekbone. He dares not move, or even take a breath, only watching your pretty face focused on his, and relish the feeling of your thumb across his features.
“It’s going to be just that.”  You might’ve said, or a joke about his troubles, but words scurry off of your mind as you stay like that, squished in place as you try your best to comfort him.
“Can you kiss me?” The thought seems lunatic when uttered on a whim, but it has crossed your mind too, you must admit. 
“Only because you asked so nicely.” There's an undeniable urge to use his words back at him. 
Your back has to bend in an uncomfortable way for your lips to touch, but you have no complaints about it. The touch is so soft, laden with affection in the purest kind. It is obvious in every way, the movement of your mouths, determined to preserve the sweetness and sweetness alone, and the itch in your palms, mapping each other out over and over again, and the determination of your lungs, using every last drop of oxygen before demanding an exchange. 
“T-thank you for that, dear.” His eyes open after a few seconds, with a sheepish smile that causes him to speak in whispers.
It’s about to get real dangerous for you, if he keeps being this cute. 
“I’m not about to say we should've done it sooner, for it is a complete waste of our time repeating a truth well known, and I've already used that trick before, but maybe we should do it again.” 
Okay, but how does that kind of sass sound cute from your perspective?
“Don't push your luck.” You say, fingers smoothing his hair, and his complaint dies on his throat visibly. He purrs, eyelids closing. That's the moment you decide to press a small peck to his lips for all his troubles. It lasts longer than intended, and while it's definitely different than the previous one, him gripping your waist telling a different story. The weight of them is welcome nonetheless, and it serves as an anchor, like you two could be molded into a statue if he held it long enough.
However, he is the one to break the stillness, shifting in his chair- first of all, how dare he, you're doing the acrobatics here-
Oh.
He notices that you've noticed it. Clearing his throat, Obi Wan lets his hands slide to the table, just a centimeter away from your body. “It’s been some time.” His face remains focused on the floor.
Didn't he even take care of himself?
You push his shoulder back, and he takes it a step further without a blink, sliding away with his chair. 
What he doesn't expect, is for you to stay exactly where you are, only this time on your knees. He has to gulp once, then twice, because he finally looks at your face, smiling back at him. 
“May I help?” Admittedly, your fluttering gaze was unnecessary, and tips him even more. You don't miss the way he stabilizes his hands.
“By all means.” 
You start by unfastening the buttons of his tan trousers, letting your forearms rest on his thighs. He aids your quests by lifting his hips a little, being freed from the constraints of the fabric-
There he is.
You bite your lip at the sight, and the sight is not just his huge cock, already hard and weeping for you. It is about him, and the redness that creeps up his neck, the way he hisses and bites his knuckles at the cool air hitting his sensitive skin, how he claws at the armrest waiting for your touch. His head nearly hits the back of the chair when you finally do, a small moan leaving his exposed throat.
Well. You really should’ve done this sooner.
Your thumb swirls around his head, more fluid leaking out as you do so. Thus your fingers slide down his shaft easily, and he is coated in his slick in no time, along with your palm. It twists around him without rush, leaving him to wander in that dream like state without mentioning a finish line. You want to ask him, ask him how he likes it, or make him cover your hand with his, guiding you, but you also want him to stay just like this, eyes fixed with that heavy lidded gaze, partially obscured by that infamous strand of hair that refuses to be tamed like others. His mouth hangs open with loud breaths and sometimes graces you with sounds of his pleasure.  
“Harder.” The only instruction you need.
You clasp tighter and shudder like him, taking pride in your work. He can feel the strain in his muscles fading second by second, the problems in his mind are plucked out one after the other, replaced by your soothing words you repeated constantly for days at this point, and expert hands, creating the same effect on his body.
“Like this, Lord Kenobi?” You require you still acquire his opinion, a feedback, and his title rolls off of your tongue unintentionally. Honestly, there’s no explanation you can make even to yourself, but you are already over it as his cock twitches under your palm, and his groan fills the room.
“Y-yes. You’re doing- so good.”
That must be some sort of karma, for he is above the concept of revenge, but you’re left with an itch to grind your legs together at his praise. If you do that, you’ll probably feel your wetness smearing all over your skin, you’re sure of it.
And you’re determined not to be distracted.
Your other hand joins the game too, starting to massage his balls. That makes him tense under you for a moment, but the tension dissolves quickly, leaving him dizzier.
“Fuck-“ Even the simplest swear word sounds hypnotizing on his lips, “you’re perfect. Don’t stop.”
Like you had any intention to do that.
On the contrary, your intentions evolve in the direction after his words, perhaps even a little bit further. You lean in and lick a stripe up his length, the tip of your tongue dancing around his head, fully tasting him, before you take him to your mouth fully.
His hand flies up, shaking as it comes down, held back by the strongest of wills from delving into your hair. Instead, it inches closer to your cheek, and returns to the position before (because he may have just lost five years of his life feeling the way you swallow him), half-stabilized over the armrest. His head rolls back once more, unashamed to release his moans with your every move. The most sinful one comes out when you use your throat, gagging around his thickness. You repeat it, and he whimpers, earning an equal sound from you too.
This time, you don’t have to ask him anything. The eye contact as you recover your breath, and continue to stroke him tells you everything you need to know, tells how much he enjoys it.
“Please- darling-“
You don’t try to choke on him again, but keep a rhythm with your tongue and your palm. He reaches climax quickly nonetheless, throbbing in your mouth and coating it white. Obi Wan feels sorry for not warning you, a sense of guilt rising alongside that pleasure, but it once again came over with lust as you gulp it down without a blink. He even fears he might go hard in a second, against all the rules of nature. You provoke that in all ways possible, pressing small kisses to his shaft, occasionally licking it, and letting your head rest on his thigh.
“Thank you.” It is so out of place to say that for this kind of act, but it is the sentence that is spoken, breaking the silence.
“You’re welcome, my Lord.” Thankfully, you raise your gaze just in time to miss the way his cock moves. You straighten your back and throw your shoulders back, stretching like you’ve just woken up.
So cute and so filthy.
“I’d like to return the favor.” He says, the action fueled only by his kind and generous soul.
“Some other time.” Your smile reflects the acknowledgment, not mocking his advances. “I am expected from home.”
“Ah, pity. Send my regards to your family.” He can’t help but feel envious of them. Do they know to treasure your company, not take a second of it for granted? Do they know what you did to him, before joining them? Would they be as accepting as ever, aware of your scandalous affairs?
Of course not.
But even then, you’d deserve much better than what they would treat you like. Your courage alone is enough to make the world bow down to you.
And what if your family means something other than your blood, your relatives? What if it was a stranger, a man undeserving, but had you to himself every night, when you returned home from your daily activities? A lucky fool who had the blessing of knowing you’d be by his side soon, every damn day.
His fingers turn into fists as you clean yourself up, so pretty in your ignorance to his gaze, brows slightly furrowed as you smooth out the wrinkles on your dress.
“Shall do.” And with your cheery voice, he doesn’t even notice his grip is unclenched.
===
Red isn’t his color. Some say it suits him well, that the stark contrast is eye-catching, but he doesn’t like to carry it. At this point of his life, it’s not even about his clothing choices, he prefers anything over that pigment in every possible scenario; the sheets, the carpets, the flowers… He makes a point of avoiding that powerful color.
Not today, though.
He has no word over how you dress and for once, tries very hard to stay neutral, not verbalize his choices when you mention the outfit you’ll be wearing in his ball, and it is a successful endeavor. (Knowing you and your stubbornness, it would probably only damage the bond between the two of you, something you’ll quip for years, or God forbid, keep you from attending at all.)
In the end, you wear it, and he ends up where he doesn’t want to be. Drowning in that bloody cloud. Without remorse, for the first time in his life.
For once, he finds himself chasing after it, taking joy in its liveliness, surrendering to the dangerous promises it makes. Your presence brings energy to every room you enter. The candles seem to burn brighter, and the warmth in his chest is not solely a result of both of your accomplishment of the spectacle. Obi Wan smiles ear to ear, eyes almost closed because of it, and he wants nothing more than to dance with you all night long, bury his hands in that expensive fabric and feel the burn in your cheeks, painted with the same color. He doesn’t even mean it in a perverse way. He wants to celebrate the payoff of your efforts, let the pride be felt, and enjoy the treats like all the guests, or even more than them (it would be more than fair to do so), together.
Alas, the society you both live in isn’t the type to accept such things. In order to not taint the event with the bitterness reserved for that principle, he doesn’t ask for more than six dances, or follow you around the saloon like a lost puppy. While it is never enough, he counts and cherishes the accidental eye contacts, and your hands holding his in dances, or the different circles you ran into each other and have snippets of various conversations. He accepts every compliment with your name tied behind his tongue and feels relieved with each passing hour, realizing how perfect everything is going, thanks to your pieces of advice and restrictions. He is light as a feather underneath all those layers he had to put on for the evening, without the pressing intention of taking it all off as soon as possible.
But, there are two sides to every coin, and here comes the other side, halfway through the night, the prejudice he had returning sinisterly.
He does a decent job of suppressing his jealousy, for all the purposes he’s thought of before. He can glance over when you dance with a stranger, or two, ricocheting on the stage and putting on a show for everyone. He chooses to admire the beauty you’re radiating, shining like a rose after the rain. It keeps him occupied for a while. But when an hour passes and you’re not even looking at his general direction, way too engulfed in your conversation with them, he feels a distaste rising in him. The red bleeds into his heart, poisoning him. It slowly takes over, and by the time you throw your head back with a burst of laughter that echoes in the room, he’s entirely filled with it. His hands twitch with every dream of ripping the source of that poison from your skin in a cove meant for just the two of you, away from all the vultures that eat and drink and savor his doings and yet ready to crucify him at his slightest flaw.
Obi Wan is one step away from sending everyone to their homes when you escort that man to the garden. Honestly, the only reason he doesn’t is because you return in a minute or two, the tip of your nose giving away all he needs to know- it’s chilly.
And he didn’t even give you his jacket?
On the second thought, it’s best that he didn’t, because then Obi Wan wouldn’t even bother to get rid of the crowd to have his way with him.
“Lord Kenobi.” You manage to catch him alone, on the balcony. He’s up there to calm his nerves, over you, unbeknownst to you. Unfortunately, his progress is lost the second he hears your voice, and it is truly an effort to act otherwise.
The night is on the brink of ruin for him, and it doesn’t have to be that way for you. This is why he tries so hard.
“I must congratulate you on this beautiful ball. It is a night to remember.”
“Don't say it like the honor doesn't belong to us both.”
You shrug, as if whisking all the credit away. But your eyes twinkle with pride. 
“I haven't had this much fun in ages,” You chirp,  “I would've begged for another one already, if I hadn't witnessed the toll it took on you.” He covers his face at the mention of the state he has been in for the last couple of weeks. “Oh God, don't.” 
“Oh God, you just didn't expose yourself like that! When will you start enjoying this?” Your laugh is a hidden giveaway of how many glasses you had tonight. “Don’t worry, my lips are sealed for those who may inquire.” Your lips. Wrapped around his cock. Mapping out his neck. Keeping his secrets.  “Remember that every word that comes out of my mouth is said by a person who attended all types of feasts all over the continent for a decade now. I grew up around these circles.” Shrugging, you add. “Perhaps that was my undoing.”
“Undoing? I could never call you “undone”.” Ironic, how you make him forget about before and continue to concern him with totally different subjects.
“You’re right.” Thoughts come out a little slow, but your effort is evident on your face. “I just had too many opportunities to start over in new places, experience everything that I was curious about, and that all led me to discover exactly what I liked, what I wanted from life.”
“How’s that a bad thing?” 
“I’m not willing to let that go anytime soon.” You can’t help but notice that it sounds like some sort of prison of your will, but that’s not a discussion you can have tonight. “Anyways, Obi Wan. I must be going now, just wanted to pay my compliments and wish you good night.” 
“I thought you’d stay the night-“Well, that’s definitely not the case, “But it is so early?”
“You know our houses are not so close, any later than this and I’m going to fall asleep on the road out of habit.”
Yeah, that’s why he thought it would be perfectly reasonable for you to stay over. 
“I see.” And he wishes he had gone blind and deaf. “Then, allow me to bid you good night, my Lady.” 
He takes your hand, placing a kiss you can very much feel despite the fabric. What he doesn’t expect, is for you to press your palm against his chest in return, because he doesn’t know of the urge you have to not leave. It is a split second of override, before you can command your feet to move again, blissfully unaware how tender that moment was.
===
A day. A full day. That’s how long he can refrain from seeing you. Funny, the meetings have become a habit for him, and although he needed you back then, he needs you more now, for completely different reasons, and you’re not there that morning- and why would you be? There’s no arrangement that demands your assistance anymore. Your praises are all said and done, and if to be repeated, it wouldn’t certainly be a matter that required urgency for you to show up at his door.
And maybe, you have other places to be, other doors to knock. Perhaps you’d enjoy a change of air.
So, he has come to yours.
Naboo. Aldreaan. Correlia. The cities churn in his mind, alongside your image in every one of them. The flowers in your hand as you roam the fields of Naboo, the coat that doesn’t do much for the redness on the tip of your nose while you lodge in the mountains of Alderaan. The exquisite jewelry you wear to a Correlian masquerade, outshining every debutante in the room. He imagines the people hypnotized by your presence (what can they be, other than blessed), or you gliding among them (after all, discretion was your powerful suit). And the worst of all, he thinks of the man escorting you, claiming their dances, bringing you a glass of their rare wines, walking with you in the natural scene, their savage arms around you, their hands groping your curves, pulling sweet sounds from you.
(No, the purpose of his visit was not that. )
He invites himself in from your open balcony, catching you as you start your nightly routine. You’re taking off your hairpins, when he does the courtesy of knocking on the glass, startling you just a little. You jump, but thankfully do not scream, the reflex somehow suppressed. Truth be told, it’s not because your shock actually dwindles. If anything, it is redirected into a different question, going from “What the fuck was that?” to “Why the fuck is he here?”
“Good night, darling.” He gestures for you to sit again, and you do, returning to your chair in front of the vanity. Your head has to crane in a strange way for you to see him, but thankfully, he comes closer and solves the problem, eyes meeting through the mirror. And his face lights up as he sets foot in the room, like he too has forgotten everything but this moment, his jealousy and desperation left behind the walls. That’s how the question of “What are you doing here?” is not immediately articulated.
 Instead, you say, “Good night, Obi Wan.”
“I see I managed to visit you just in time.” Look at him, fixing his beard, laughing nervously. He just climbed to the second floor, and his heart only got racing now.
“Lucky you.” Honestly, you don't think there's a “wrong time” in his perspective, at least when it comes to you. A few minutes later, and he'd see you in your nightgown. Would that deter him from setting his foot in here? Most, most, most likely, no. Don't dwell on that thought, though. “And what do I owe the pleasure?” You try not to focus too much on the fact that you have him and your bed in the same frame, through the reflection. 
“I thought I would see you today.” Is that sarcasm in his tone, or a little bit of self-humiliation?
This must be some sort of a Shakespeare play, right? 
Oh my God, it is. 
“Ah.” You fiddle with your hairbrush, the eye contact broken, your attempt to stop any matter from escalating this night. Any matter. Not that you had any questions when it came to his morals, he probably was the one person you’d never doubt, but in terms of his intentions to be here tonight startled you in a much different light. “I slept in late today. Didn’t even leave the house.”
Oh. That makes quite the sense.
“Actually I still feel a little bit exhausted.”
“That’s because you had too much fun without me last night.” A treacherous scoff falls from his lips as he shakes his head. The moment that the tides turn. The one that brings back all the crude questions.
“What? No? What do you mean?” For all your effort to remain calm, you look alarmed, that tired face with doe eyes showing it all, and he feels sorry for a second, troubling you over his overthinking ass.
Then, he spots the bracelet you wore last night, lying haphazardly over a piece of paper on the corner of the table. It looks very much like a letter.
It’s not hard for him to advance his speculations.
“I think you know it already.”
“Obi Wan.” You twist to actually face him, your arm on the back of the chair. “Why are you here?”
He takes a few steps back, as if the air is stolen from the short distance between the two of you. He runs a hand through his hair, undisturbed by its messy result. You can see him biting into his cheeks, trying to select the right words. In the end, all that effort seems unnecessary, because when he speaks, the sentence can’t be any simpler. “Who was the man you spent an hour with last night?”
Wincing, you take a few seconds to process. It’s not about the answer, but his motive, his audacity that irks you. You stand up and speak. This time, your voice is sharp as ice. “That’s none of your business.”
He blinks a few times, so sure of his righteousness, and determined. “You were in my house, at our ball, dancing and talking with strangers and not even glancing in my direction for the better half of the night. I think it’s some of my business.”
“I was by your side for much longer than it is acceptable, Kenobi, do I need to remind you? We danced six times and greeted the majority of guests together.” You’ll not let the truth be ignored. “Any longer than that and there would be rumors all over the society today, and even I would’ve heard about it despite staying here all day. I didn’t come this much by pushing boundaries at every fucking chance I get. I picked my battles, the thing you seem incapable of.”
“So, am I to understand, this thing between us,” The look on his face dares you to deny the existence of it, “is not worth picking?”
This is the possibility that scared you. And for good reason, it seems. You close your eyes, in order to not roll them, and purse your lips. He uses the moment to reach for your arms, like he could appeal for an answer from you. “Don’t you love what we have?”
You couldn’t feel any worse under the warmth of his hands, affection pouring out of them despite the rage in him. “I love what we had.”
“Had?”
“It’s obvious that we can’t keep doing this, is it not?”
Confusion leaves its place to anger once more, for all the wrong reasons and his face darkens. “Oh, I see. You secured yourself a new entertainment, and now you have to get rid of the old one.”
You shrug out of his hold, distancing yourself from him. The source of the problem is not what he claims it to be, and it infuriates you, along with the accusations he taints you with.  “Don't you dare reflect your own degeneration on me like that! It’s not about my damn cousin’s damn friend, it’s about you!” It is nearly a scream, the highest pitch that wouldn’t grab attention. Still, reflectively, you turn your head to the door, which you had luckily locked. “Leave now, you bastard!”
Honoring the part he was assigned in that theatre play, he focuses on the wrong part of the words, the crumbles of information giving him hope, and dim his doubts. “So there's nothing between you and him?”
Seething, you are red with fury, taking a sharp breath, pointing your finger at him like a gun. “Get. Out.” 
“Is there?” 
Your tongue is determined not to let him hear your words, despite the truth in them. It will not lead to any good. 
But so will his closeness.
When did he get so close? 
The moment you look into his ocean eyes, the decision to say anything is deemed impossible. The decision to do anything, actually. His arms cage you against the cluttered table, and yours end up on his chest, though without any intention of pushing him away.
“Answer my question, and I will.” 
How could you? How can you be able to resist his utmost sincerity, the desperation in his behaviors and the brutality of his words contrasted in the way he looks at you, the caging without actually touching you. Your suffocation is only a result of your inner turmoil, the desire to spit out the truths, clear his heart and give in to the love he's handing out, but terrified of the places it will take the two of you.  
“I’m waiting, darling.”  You can’t help but watch his perfect lips move, his voice licking your skin. 
You gulp, an action he doesn’t miss, and dares to laugh at it. Obi Wan can see the exact moment your gaze returns to being that of an eris, though the flames remind him of a different time.
A very different time. 
“I hate you.” It is perhaps the most childish thing you’ve ever said in years, and it shows. 
So, that’s his cue to kiss you.
For all your claims, still, he doesn’t miss the small moan you let out, swallowing it with pride. Your soft lips move against his like a habit, anticipating every move and the next, a choreography you both know all too well  albeit in a much swifter tempo. Your hands wrap around his neck, pulling him closer but his stay in the same spot, afraid to disturb you, though gripping the edges hard enough to turn his knuckles white. Though, when he tugs at your bottom lip, asking for more, you grant him that, your tongues joining the dance. You whimper, the action triggering your inhibitions to loosen up, like each second wipes the doubts away. It is a sugared water, only serving to increase the thirst instead of quenching it. So you don't stop drinking it.
Not til you absolutely have to.
“No, you don’t.” 
Two seconds have to pass for you to understand his response. With his breath still warming your cheeks, even brushing them with his nose, yes he dares now, the statement is the undeniable truth.
However, not that you're ready to admit it. He already knows too much, all the things you like, all your weak spots, all of your soul.
“Yes, I- oh” And he's not the one to endure your lies. His fingers delve into your scalp, putting traction into your hair ‘til you have to tilt your head back to release the tension, forcing you to look at him through your lashes. Still, eye contact is not what he seeks, for he has as much a chance of getting lost in it as you. He uses the expanse of skin you offer, and dives in for that specific spot that has your legs going limp. It has two consequences: Firstly, you are stuck between him and the table, the latter supporting you too little that the weight rests almost entirely on his body, every plane of him touching yours. Secondly, the angle puts the mirror in the corner of your sight, and you have a maddening view of what’s happening. It is enough to make old ladies screech and faint, and artists to slave to immortalize the scene.  
“You’re a bastard.” You murmur the last bit of objection, solely for the object of throwing it out of the tip of your tongue. He hears, though quite unbothered, the retort to break you further leaves his mouth readily.
“Call me whatever you want, dear, you’re the one begging for it.”
Of course, you only pant in return. Even when he threatens to nip and bite at the sensitive nerves, you don’t stop him. Furthermore, your calf twists around his as much as it is able in that impossible posture. An invitation.
“And what else would you let me do to you? Would you let me take you to your bed?”
You nod, frantically. “Yes, please Obi Wan- take me”
That’s a sentence straight out of his dreams.
The second your feet touch the ground, both of you gather the ends of your dress, yanking it out to throw it haphazardly on the floor. Your stays and chemise follow the same fate, then it is his jacket and shirt. He taps on your thigh, like he would let you walk the five meter distance between there and the bed, you jump, a little shakily (not that you ever had questions about his strength). Fuck, it excites you how easily and softly he lands you on the edge of it. You reach for his trousers, but he stops you and urges for you to scoot back, and lay down.
Because that’s the best way he can rid you of your shoes and stockings.
Your knees stick together as he works on one foot, and the other. The shoes drop with a loud thud, making you bite your lip, close your eyes for a moment and pray nobody investigates. It’s no wonder that after that small break, your pupils meet once more. How ironic that it is the cause of your concern, and the only solution.
You can feel his fingertips skimming the top of the only clothing left on you. While the touch is stimulating enough, it is the fact that you have to spread your legs a little to allow him to undress you, giving him a view of your wet pussy.
Nothing that he hasn’t seen before, but that doesn’t affect the way you tremble.
Throwing your head back, you let him slide the stretchy fabric down. Slowly. Like his piercing gaze isn’t enough. You’re squirming by the end of it, all thoughts of getting him out of his outfit gone (-or delayed, should you still believe yourself.)
Thankfully, he takes care of it, the sounds of his buttons unfastened echo in the room. 
Though he has no rush to join you. 
You turn your face to search for what's taking him so long, a whine in your throat when he kneels. That's unlike him. 
You feel cold without his body looming over yours. And he has a hard time not to do that, not falling for the flush of red and your hard nipples. Especially when you're so gone that you may come undone just from that.
He'd like to see that. 
But he has to make you understand how you keep him in that state, ignorant of his troubles, even as the solution is obvious and wanted by both sides, however the other can't accept it out of simple stubbornness.
Thus, he plays the deaf now, as he grips the supple flesh of your thighs, squeeze and move as he pleases, exposing your core to air while he busies himself with other parts. He claims you with his lips, mapping out, pushing you down to the mattress every time you jolt because he’s so close just a little to the left- But perhaps the worst is his vulgar taunts, whispered, to himself mostly, a way to speak out the anger.
“Are you this wet for all the men you hate?”
“No.” You cry, not able to stand the accusations. “It’s you.”  And it is the truth. There are no other men on the planet that you would bear being treated like this by, or attempt to change their opinion of you. But now, you need him to know that. You can’t imagine a future with his back always turned to you, or be subject to his very much forced small talk with empty, or worse, hatred filled eyes. It is a reveal of a side of you that you had to keep hidden and downplay, to be free at the end of the day, give both of you an opportunity to walk out, but it doesn’t matter if the said fallout leaves his judgment of you sour. You care about his perception, and would do your best to change it should it be mixed with lies. Truth, and nothing less, is what he deserves.
A wave of relief floods his heart, that simple answer is all he wishes to hear. There’s also a bit of rage, for knowing you’d never admit it in any other circumstance. Alas, the smile appearing on his face is unstoppable. Even as he finally begins to eat you out.
A moan leaves your mouth at the first contact, which is nothing more than a small kiss. That bad, uh? As he licks everything he can reach, it turns into a whine, because it is evident he has no concern about making you cum quickly, or in a normal amount of time. He just continues to do whatever he was doing before, exploring every nook and cranny, and marking, like he intends to commit this moment to his memory. It may not have been his first time, (or the second), but he’s doing it for himself now, your desperation sadly not a priority. You also suspect he’s doing it to drive you mad, using his previous experience and remembering how sensitive you got when his beard rubbed against your skin.
“Obi Wan-“ Your back arches, a hand reaching for his hair. He stops it all by jostling your legs with a hold that could leave imprints. It takes half of your willpower to stay in the place he put you in, and that means you only have the other half to process the indescribable pleasure he’s giving. It is gonna be fast, whether he plans it or not.
“Could you actually throw this away? How can you pick anything else over this?” You knew it would be a hard transition. The magic he created is haunting and ready to jump on you in those dark corners, even after many years. There is no cure for ghosts, after all. The thought now seems impossible, the last thing that could cross your mind. Simply impossible. He emphasizes by nudging your clit, every single movement forcing a sound out of you. “That's right. I’m going to remind you how good we are together, make you feel so good that you'll forget anything but us.” 
The passion in his words scares you, but it would be a lie to say they don't excite you in some way, making your heart flutter in your chest at his devotion and to be able to still feel safe only supported by the honest bond you two have. You chant his name as he smothers himself in your folds, sucking and flicking your raw bundle of nerves. He loves to feel you twitch when you are overwhelmed, but not enough to climax. 
Then, he scrapes your clit with his teeth, and you're gushing, head thrown back, a silent scream in your mouth. The hot lava inside you doesn't cool down, paying its visit to every part of you, making stars explode behind your eyes and body trash against the sheets. To be perfectly honest, he didn't expect this much either, his strong muscles tightened to keep you from closing your legs, a string of curses muttered at the obscenity of it all. As always, your bliss only augments his own, especially at the sight of your essence flowing out of you. He has to drink it all in. Thus, he doesn’t stop, unbothered by the subtle sway of your hips, or the slight tug at his strands. He has no objection to them, on the contrary, he would encourage them if he didn't have to abandon his task to say the words. The slow movements of his tongue create constant stimulation in your already delicate nerves. Your second orgasm crashes you like a clap of thunder, leaves you sobbing and shaking. It uses all the energy in your already spent muscles, wipes every argument from your mind and removes those troubling emotions from your soul. The interesting thing, is that you have no oppositions to the matter. Why would there be? Could there be a sweeter arrangement? Isn’t it better than a dream? You speak the truths, and he worships you. You pay him the respect he deserves, and he tries to honor it in every chance. You don't complete his personality, you enhance it, and in return, he uses everything in his power to make your day better. 
It is not that simple, a voice speaks from the back of your head, but it's too silent to have an importance. 
Likewise, some of his ideas are dismayed just as easily. Pity. He had every intention of taking you from behind, not letting you get away before painting your ass red, and watch you crawl back to him still even when he teased you that badly, but you seem too gone, too weak to lift your hips up. And it is not a big deal anymore, because he's equally excited to have you like this, lying on your back, legs hugging his torso. Like your first time. The parallel is unintentional, but more than welcomed. How much and how little has changed since then? He leans in for a kiss, and fuck, your mouth is greets him too purely, like he's not covered in your slick. There's something more than lust that drives you, evident in the way you move, like you’re carving out a promise on his lips. The sounds that you produce are not in desperation, but gratitude, not weary of the periods of suspense but glad that it is over. His fingers travel the length of your abdomen, all blame on him for the coldness of your skin and the way you shiver. When he circles your nipples with his thumb, you sigh, and press yourself to him. 
“You take care of me like no other, Obi Wan.” You whisper as you cup his cheek. You should’ve told him sooner. It was the least you could do. 
He has no answer, and he doesn’t need one. Holding your wrist at the sides of your head angrily and meeting with your tongue is more than enough of an explanation, just like the one you made a little too late, beautiful controversies. You both are unaware of how your hips rub against each other, without hurry, ‘til his cock catches your entrance. Your breathing becomes erratic, considering you didn’t get a prep or had any in some while, and he’s big. 
“Are you gonna let me in, sweetheart?” 
“I need you.” You almost wail, despite knowing it will be too much. It’s not about pleasing him, either, for these things are not given up as sacrifices, ever. What matters is that you’re together, and that is always good. “Please, I want you.”
Could he ever refuse?
He takes his time, relishing the surrender of your tight walls, and brave noises, replied with his own moans. Your pants are guiding as much as they are troubling, making him even harder. He swears he’s about to burst when you outright sob while he brushes your areolas. Your back raises, an attempt to get his fingers a little higher, and your eyelids flutter close with the movement.
Make no mistake, your face scrunched up in delight is a sight to behold, but he can’t compromise having your eyes closed, sparing him from that glossy, burning gaze you have when he tears you apart. He needs to see them lose all coherent thought, see those doubts fly away and light up with pleasure.
“Look at me, dearest.” Right, aren’t you more than acquainted with his most important wish? He pleads, the softest tone that spilled from his lips tonight. Your heart skips a beat although you’re not exactly capable of processing that information. Needless to say, you don’t oblige to his wish, not when you are so spent. 
Obi Wan groans, his hand flying up to turn your chin. At that moment, all fall silent. You get lost in his stormy eyes, and so does he. Though his cock twitches in your quivering channel, that’s not the point.
“I can’t get enough of you.” He blurts. Then, the other truths demand to be told too.  “I don't like the way they look at you. I don't like how they don't know how blessed they are by your presence. Shit, I hate it when they know it too. I hate to think those who got to memorize you this closely, even those you knew before me.” 
Even those you knew before me. “Obi Wan, you're-” 
“Crazy? I'll admit, I am crazy when it comes to you.” 
“I never-” You have to drown a whimper as he continues his deep, slow strokes, “asked for any of it.”
“Of course, dear. I know, I know it's not you, but them. But I can hardly stop myself from reaching out and pulling you out from their sigh. Or wrap my hands around you, let them see what we share. They wouldn't dare anymore, if they knew the lines you left on my back.” It takes an incredible amount of will not to thrust into you faster, with where his ideas lead him to. “Would you let me mark you from the inside?”
Fuck, why does his words make their way into your heart without ringing those alarm bells you have ready at all times? How does he move past them so easily? 
Or do you let him, and take those rings as a cheery tune of his nearing presence, and not a warning as they must be?
“Yes!” The feeling of him finishing anywhere but in you suddenly sounds so disgusting. You want his warmth, even though you're burning already. 
His lips find yours, kissing you so hard that you'd thought he wanted to silence you. But surely, you know better, that's definitely not the case. You get to drink his sweet moans as his hands envelope you further (like it's possible). In return, he's right there to swallow your gasps, the proof of how you push yourself for him. The rest of the world stops, the urge to fill your lungs no longer necessary, nothing but the rhythm you've created, and clouds you've climbed on. 
He senses your peak before you do and gives you a brief space to breathe, praises falling from his lips that you can't hear, as you shake and let out whimpers, quite loud, for you've grown used to him muffling them. He follows suit, not able to resist your walls clamping down on him, painting your insides with a heavenly moan. 
It takes a second for both of your bearings to return, for the night to evolve into a chilly summer night it was simply meant to be. The coldness is especially remarkable as sweat cools down. A towel wipes them rather quickly, but it's never as warm as having the other around. Your usual remedy, a nightgown, is no use either, even if he helps you put it on. It is such a whiplash that makes you question everything about the last hour. You're left with burning cheeks as he collects your clothes from the floor, hanging them on the divider, then his- but he does the same to them?
“What are you doing?” You croak, a minute of silence for your vocal cords. “I don't cuddle.” That's a harsh sentence, but it's the truth.
“And I don't leave the person I love in the middle of the night to freeze.” He's holding a candle, the only lit candle in the room, and his face is illuminated beyond anything else and it could be said that he is the source of light. 
The person I love. His words break down the last resolve you have, and you're left to figure out how you feel about it as he kills the flame, and slides  into the sheets behind you. You'd think the sensation of his chest pressed to your back would keep you wide awake, but no, it's weirdly new yet familiar, enough to lull to sleep. Also, his scent is mesmerizing, and you never had it this close and constant. 
And for him, he had no trouble whatsoever from the start, but this is far better than expected, that he is sure he is living the best moment of his fate. The softness of you, in his arms, drifting into heavy dreams. It is a treasure for him to see that you can relax beside him, allow him to feel the regularity of breaths, showing your most natural self. 
But the morning is anything like the night.
You wake up from the orange lights of the rising sun, when he gently combs your hair out of your face. There's a fatigue in your muscles, alongside that sweet tinge of pleasure still lingering, making it all bearable. Your skin runs hot where he holds you, your back, your waist, your intertwined legs… The slight prickle of his beard is not pronounced when it's rolling on your shoulder, especially as it's followed by small pecks. He's unable to resist, your intoxicating smell pronounced in the cove of your neck, right under his nose. Only when he feels somewhat satisfied, and you seem a little more conscious, the tonus of your body increasing, he talks. 
You weren't ready for his morning voice.
“Good morning, love.” His hand rises to soothe the redness rising where his chin was pressed. Delicate all over. “I’m afraid I must get going, for both of us’ sake.” 
You give an affirming hum, and swiftly roll out. Your body betrays you without delay, a shiver seizing you, protesting the lack of his heat. You shake your shoulders, not so subtly but it's not like you can cringe. It is your band aid, and you're ripping it out. 
You reach for a robe and put it on rather easily for your questionable nerves and state of mind. 
“Darling?” 
“Yes, you should really get going, Obi Wan.” Fuck, that sounds still more aggressive than you are, or you ever intended, a mirror of the storms in your mind. 
“What's the matter?” He's awfully quick to put on his trousers and come near you once again. He looks into your eyes, unobscured by your hair, and then there's that look of reveal on his face, the point of no return. He says your name, a final plead and a warning.
“You must leave soon.” This time, you’re a little softer, but it is nowhere near normal, considering what you shared.
“You think last night was a mistake.” He’s never sounded colder, and you have to focus not to bite your lip. The stern expression on his face is unbecoming of him, but it’s also a great reflection of his fidelity. Now, the other side of the coin shows itself, with his icy eyes and clenched jaw.
“I never-“ said that. Though, is there any possibility of you explaining what you feel? The doubts, the unfamiliarity of these feelings. Could you say, I’m not sure about this thing in between us, without creating the same effect of his claimed words?
There’s a second of silence, as he’s giving you one last chance to speak up. You know, you know that the moment you try, he’s going to break that heartless look, and put his loving hand out.
“For someone who thinks it was a mistake, you don't seem regretful at all.”
“Because it's not, and I don’t!” The confession is for him, but it is hard on you. But that doesn’t mean you’re willing to repeat it. “But it can become one. This has to stop. We can’t go further than this.”
“Why?” He’s trying his best not to raise his voice in this quiet, quiet hour.
“Because this is just- just an infatuation. It will go away. And to remember this time as a good one, we have to be careful, and we’re starting to lose that sense.”
An infatuation. That is the strangest insult he’s ever heard, but the worst nonetheless. An infatuation. The more he repeats the word in his mind, the more his anger grows, with a goal to show you otherwise.
“This is not what happened last night, and you know it.” He was as clear as day, and you honored that likewise. There was no lie. “If this is about you getting pregnant, I swear -”
“No, that's not it.” For once, you show something about the bond you have. “I have no concerns about you, or the whole society, should that happen. I’d even happily move away somewhere nobody knows my name and raise them.” 
Why is that option uttered, when there are far easier choices to make? “You’d rather build a new life than marry me?”
You remain silent once more, owning the coward you are. This is exactly why this wouldn’t work, anyways. He shakes his head, catching himself still thinking of ways to convince you, to work through the problem. He even thinks of walking out of the main door, and running into your father's study, forcing your hand in marriage.
You can see that thought play in his head as his gaze becomes fixated on the door.
"See. That's why.” You beg. “This is just an obsession, and you are maddened with it. You can't see reason, or listen to the sound of it, and I can't watch you make decisions like this. Is this how you actually want to treat me? Blackmail your way into marrying me?”
“So, this is what you think of me.” Blackmail. 
“No, Obi Wan, are you even listening to me?” You cover your face with your hands, a moment to recollect yourself. “Do you know when my next trip is scheduled?” 
Oh. You and your infamous life on the roads. 
“In three days. And do you know I already postponed it once?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean we have very different lifestyles, and they are not compatible.”
“Or maybe, you are running from something so long that it has become a habit.”
“I do it because I like it. Because I promised people that I would see them before the end of autumn.” The latter part of your answer is not in your favor, but his, a product of overthinking. You discover that a little too late. He sees it too, along with the fragile curl of your lips, but doesn’t use it against you. Not anymore.
“I wish you a safe trip, then.” That’s the closest you’ve ever gotten to regret your preferences, as he takes a step back, and dresses himself in a blink with perfection. It causes you to feel vulnerable, like his stoic face and impeccable outfit which somehow looks even more put together than yesterday, when he was helped to put it on, paints him like a statue of a Greek god who is putting you on trial.
A trial that you fail.
Yet, by not punishing you, he gives you the worst sentence: Incarceration with your conscience.
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AITA for "gossiping" about a coworker?
I (27m) work in a liquor store and am quite genuinely the most competent employee despite having been until very recently the newest. Other than the owner, there are 2 who've worked there longer than me and both of them (I'll call em C (31m) and M(39f) have made much less effort to learn about liquor or even, quite frankly, people skills than I have. And lemme tell you, I started out very socially anxious. I'm a regular socialite now.
So C, at least, has a really good work ethic. He's not super socially adept with customers but he makes up for it by going above and beyond, like taking initiative to do a lot of the relatively "shit" work that the rest of us don't wanna do. I'd also say I get along with him very well bc he's pretty intelligent and open-minded.
M, meanwhile, is genuinely the most simple-minded person I've ever known in my life. The good thing is that she seems to be kind of self-aware of not being very smart and able to be a good sport about it (ngl it helps that I'm gay and she's the type to want a sassy gbf so i can kinda get away with being mean as a joke) - and she is also often just as self-aware about the fact that she doesn't do shit at work. Like she'll literally pause deliveries just bc she doesn't feel like driving, she never takes out trash, she's basically always late, she mentally shuts down at the prospect of any math despite working with money, she has little to no decision-making skills either, she spends half her shift in the bathroom and the other half literally playing solitaire, she isn't able to help customers with shit bc she's never made an effort to learn about anything we sell, etc. But she's nice, and we really don't need her help that much with anything other than just having people behind the counter.
And that's more or less what I told the newest hire, S(25F). It was in the context of explaining exactly how incredibly easy this job is - that basically almost nothing was gonna be expected of her. As examples I told her how M does the least here by far after being here for over 2 years and is at no risk of being fired. I really didn't think much of it bc my intentions were purely to point out that this is a chill job.
But a few weeks later, seemingly at random, M kinda blew up at me for being "disrespectful" about something entirely unrelated. In short it was a matter of me getting a little too comfortable joking about her incompetence in front of a customer, and I hadn't realized in this particular instance it would be upsetting but I understood after the fact and I apologized. She responded literally ONLY by saying "you're not gonna disrespect me, I'm grown" and went on to literally just leave for the day. I was baffled, but when I saw her next I basically immediately gave another apology. She explained then that the reason she was upset was that the new girl S told her that I said she was the laziest one here, saying "I thought we were friends."
I obviously tried to apologize profusely, promising her that it wasn't a "talking shit" sort of thing and trying to explain the context of that, etc. But also I think it's pretty fucking rich and kinda insane of her to be so upset that I said she was lazy. She says so herself, all the time. Also the fact that S would tell M about this conversation and clearly either leave out the context or just do nothing to dissuade M from being upset about it.... Basically idk if I should feel bad about this. In the future I won't be talking shit to S just pragmatically speaking but WAS i wrong to do it at all? AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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wishfullyeternal · 6 months
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William Afton x Reader
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A/N- What up guys it's me again, college is awful and I hate every second of it. Anyway, watched the FNAF movie and had an absolute AWAKENING in the theatre. This does not follow the lore (bc I am lazy and stupid), so don't comment on that lol. Debating on making this nsfw or not, haven't decided yet, so if you like it lemme know. Y'all are awesome :) (There will be a part 2, and possibly a part 3, I already have most of it written just need to edit it)
Words- 1,662
Warnings- Language, mentions of murder/crimes
You stared up at the neon lights, illuminating the wet ground below. The lights reflected onto the puddles, and you found yourself zipping up your jacket to escape the frigid wind. At least the storm was finally subsiding.
Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria
The building wasn't particularly cutting-edge, and the sign definitely had a bit of wear and tear on it, but it was good enough for now. You just needed a job, and quick. You didn't know how many more times you could ask for just one more day to your landlord.
You took a deep breath and pushed open the obviously marked pull door.
Embarrassing.
Regaining what little dignity you had left, you went up to the counter and spoke to a very chipper teenager, who seemed like she genuinely enjoyed her job.
"Hello! Welcome to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria, what can I help you with?"
You, a bit startled, took a second to respond.
"Yeah, I had an interview a couple of days ago for an opening? Today is my first day..."
"Oh, awesome! Come this way!" She exits from behind the counter and leads you through a maze of tables, past a door that says Employees Only in big red print. You finally arrived at an office door at the end of the hallway, it was noticeably less...Cheerful. The floors had changed to concrete, and the walls were not adorned with bright paint. Instead, it was a drab yellow, with slightly peeling wallpaper.
"Wait here just a second," She says, and goes inside the office, speaking quietly to whoever is inside. You assumed it was the man you spoke with before when interviewing for the job, you thought his name was Henry, but you weren’t sure. You took a deep breath and it caught in your throat as the lady from before opened the door quite quickly.
     “He will see you now!” She said, smiling at you. You took the handle of the door and opened it, stepping inside. The floor had changed to carpet, and the office looked quite cozy. It was adorned with many pictures of the grand opening, different groups of kids posing in front of various animatronics, and even a yellow bunny posing with a little girl. That one was the most worn down and yellowed. Like it had been taken out of its frame and looked at multiple times, before being shoved back in.
     The man noticed your silence and motioned for you to sit down. This was not the same man from before, this man was a bit more serious, and his voice was soft yet commanding at the same time.
     “Welcome to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria! My name is William Afton, co-owner and founder. You probably met Henry, correct?” The man smiled, he had a few permanent wrinkles, especially towards his eyes, and wore a (quite frankly) ugly yellow dress shirt that was a tiny bit too big. Probably due to his height, he looked tall just sitting down. His tie was a muted purple, and he clasped his hands together on the desk, looking at you with sharp silver eyes. To be honest, he was a bit intimidating. He loomed over you even when sitting across from you at the desk, and there was no way he was less than six feet tall. When he moved the coffee cup next to him out of the way, you noticed the way his hands engulfed the cup. They were big too. This man was just, large.
     “Uh, yeah, I spoke to Henry on the phone and we had an interview a couple of days ago, he said I could start today in the prize corner…” You trailed off, your small voice echoing off the walls.
     “Well then, here’s some paperwork for you to fill out and I’ll pair you with Barbara today for your first day of training. Normally we do about two weeks of training and then you’ll be an official Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria team member! Exciting, isn’t it?”
     You nodded, looking at him gathering the papers from random places around his desk, even his hands engulfed the papers. He pushed up his glasses and fumbled around for a pen. His desk was extremely neat, and you assumed that William knew exactly where everything was, and exactly how it should be. He definitely ran this place like a Navy ship.
     “Thank you,” You said, grabbing the paperwork and beginning to fill it out. William excused himself from the room and left you there alone, to do the paperwork, and only the paperwork.
     You definitely weren’t going to snoop around a bit. I mean, how could you not? This place had an air of something strange. Like something had gone horribly wrong. You scribbled down more nonsense on the pieces of paper. One question caught your attention.
     Are you scared of animatronics, marionettes, or other children’s toys?
     Huh? You thought to yourself, what a strange question. You guess it made sense, you were going to be around them a lot, and it wouldn’t be a good fit for the company if you were terrified of them, but then, why would you even apply? You tucked away that information for later, perhaps you would ask him. Finally, you finished the paperwork and got up from the chair. You were careful and calculated in your steps. The first thing you went over to was the picture. You took it off the shelf and squinted at it. There was someone in a golden bunny costume, and a little girl, no more than eight, beside him. His hand was draped over her shoulder, and she had a gleaming smile. The words Fredbear’s Family Diner were up at the top, and it looked like this place had just opened. It was a cute picture, but something felt off. The girl was a tiny bit too far away from the man in the bunny suit, you then realized that the man in the bunny suit must have been close to seven feet tall. He was quite literally towering over her. You put the picture back, making sure the angle of the picture was just how you found it a minute prior. You then went over to Williams's desk and opened up the first drawer. Pens, pencils, post-it notes, staples, and write-up citation notices were in the drawer. That was extremely normal. You weren’t sure why you were convinced you were going to find something. The man had been nothing but normal. Absolutely normal.
     Maybe he was too normal. You closed that drawer and opened up the second, it was filled to the brim with different notebooks, picture books, and other random stacks of papers. You then tried to open the third. It was locked.
     Locked? You thought, what reason would he have to lock a desk drawer? You pulled at it more, but nothing budged. There was, however, a tiny sliver where you could see through, and to be honest, you couldn’t see much of anything.
     Something reflected the light, something yellow. Dirty. It smelled like polyester and a hint of something else. You couldn’t tell. You then decided to go back to your chair and gaze around the room more. Thank god you did, because the door opened back up about a minute later.
     “All done?” He quips, you nod, and he sits back down on the desk and takes the paperwork, looking over it.
     “Looks good, I’ll lead you to Barbara at the prize corner, and she’ll teach you the ropes.” He smiled gently, and you smiled back. He opened the door and held it open for you, before leading you through the maze again, footsteps loud on the concrete.
     “Thanks for the job, Mr.Afton, it really means a lot to me.” You spoke quietly, he hadn’t heard you.
     “Hm?” He sighs,
      “Sorry, my hearing isn’t what it used to be, being around loud arcade games for years definitely hasn’t helped. What did you say?”
     You stammered, now obviously embarrassed.
     “Thanks for the job Mr.Afton, I really appreciate it,” William smiled, then held out his hand for you to shake. You did, and his hands were probably twice your size. It was firm, but kind.
     “Happy to have you on the team… And please, William will do,” He led you towards Barbara, and she greeted you with as much excitement as the teenager at the front did earlier, her ginger hair shone in the backlights of the prize corner. She seemed proud of her prize display and was eager to show it off to you.
     She took you through your first day, and it was a breeze. She explained the ticket counter, the prizes, how easiest to remember how many tickets each prize required, and taught you how to deal with problematic children. You couldn’t have asked for a better co-worker. However, something changed when you asked a relatively simple question.
     “So what is Fredbear’s Family Diner?” Barbara froze, and her blue eyes widened in the tiniest of ways. If you hadn’t been staring at her eyes, you would have missed it entirely. She smiled again, and you could tell something was wrong. She grabbed at her tie and loosened it a bit, like she was uncomfortable. You felt like you had crossed an invisible line, or gone past obviously marked caution tape. Barbara spoke gently, and carefully.
     “It was the restaurant Mr.Afton and Mr.Emily had first, it was closed down due to electrical issues.” You decided not to push further, it was obvious that she didn’t want to talk about it. Why though? You thought, trying to make sense of it. If William had a picture of it in his office, it must have meant something to him, why close it down and open something that would basically be the same? What happened?
     The rest of the day went smoothly, and you went home with a lot more questions than before.    
     How could a pizzeria hide so many secrets?
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Talked to my mother again and quite frankly I don’t think anything will ever change
#she’s like well I just don’t get why and I don’t want you to leave upset#like. I’m not upset. i let go. there is a difference#and also I explained to her how I’ve felt trapped all my life and if I can’t talk to her about little things why would I feel comfortable#about more important things#she’s upset bc she thinks that I’m just gonna up and disappear out of her life#quite frankly I deserve to be able to but I’m not planning on it#at the moment that is#and I’m like look I asked u to leave me alone until I left which was only 2 weeks and considering everything you said that’s no time at all#and she’s like yeah but you’re never coming back#and I’m like. i have a job here I enjoy. i have to come back regardless#she unfortunately cannot see out of her own unhappiness and she’s never been able to#she’s like well it’s not fair you’ve spent 19 years miserable and didn’t tell me that’s not fair to me#and I’m like. i tried. again and again. nothing worked#like girl if you say to ur kid you’ve spent 19 years miserable. it’s not fair to me?? to you??? it’s not fair you made me miserable for 19#years???? and you think it’s unfair to you??? excuse me?? girl how do u think I feel about the fairness of this#not to mention. i sure did try. but I was more worried about making it to the end of the week. to college. to whenever I could get out#so yeah. and then she was like well I thought talking to you would fix things but I guess you’re not interested#like. did u seriously think in like 2 weeks we’d be doing great?#I’m not even mad I just asked to be left alone until I moved. and she’s upset I don’t wanna be besties#even though we’ve Never gotten along. ok. yeah sure. bc moving out for 4 days is the way to win me over. ok#it’s amazing how she’s still managing to try to convince me that she is the victim here#soup talks
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vasilissadragomir · 1 month
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GIRL! What you mean you also writing about katniss's period in your fanfic too. Please tell me more about it, I'd love to know!
LMAO okay sooooo without spoiling too much i just think that it’s very important for katniss to experience her body operating as normal for literally the first time in her life. even before the games/the incomprehensibly stressful circumstances of catching fire/the war she was malnourished. perhaps not as badly as most others in the seam, or even in the town bc it seems meat was hard to come by even for peacekeepers and merchants, but she absolutely was underfed and lacking essential nutrients. so even if she was getting a period, like you said, it most certainly wasn’t quite normal or regular.
but periods aren’t just about actual bleeding or physical symptoms, ofc. her body likely never experienced the full breadth of hormonal fluctuation people go through during a healthy menstrual cycle. we know katniss is often moody and irritable because a) she’s a teenager b) she’s starving and c) she’s stressed out of her mind in constant survival mode, but she’s almost always in control. what happens when her hormones, allowed to function for the first time as they’re meant to, take control of her body like they do for most teenagers w periods? especially with all the emotional upheaval of the war and losing prim, i bet experiencing pms for the first time sends her into a tailspin. she’s probably crying a lot, eating a lot, and feels like everything is coming apart around her at the littlest things. which, compounded with the ptsd and grief, and the first time lack of need to be in survival mode, is overwhelming and causes her to act impulsively.
not to mention, of course, why we get periods in the first place. how does peeta’a presence interact with her body’s discovery of its normal function, especially this function? we know they grow back together. we know she feels that thing again. we know so after. but what happens between those things? it’s implied that katniss and peeta are at least kissing before so after. what is it that motivates katniss to kiss him back, beyond, of course, love? katniss likes kissing. she says when she’s kissing gale that it reminds her that her body’s alive. what is it like for her to kiss the person she actually loves when her body is healthy enough to urge her on?
now, of course katniss knows about periods, their symptoms, and sex/pregnancy. a pet peeve i have in fics is when people act like katniss doesn’t know about this stuff because she’s “pure” or, frankly, because readers see district 12 as backwards and uneducated or something. but katniss’ mom is an apothecary. katniss absolutely knows the clinical ins and outs of puberty. but at the same time, i bet she never really expected all that stuff to happen to *her* the way it does to other people. she’s always been in control while in district 12 up until the end of the war. why would something like a hormonal shake-up change that? i don’t think she’ll recognize what’s happening to her (im shocked by it every month, and ive had a semi-regular period for more of my life than not and i knew what to expect from like age 5). when she does realize it, she’ll likely be in denial about it.
i also think this is a great opportunity for katniss and her mom to bond and begin to repair their relationship. because for the first time, katniss actually will, palpably, *need* her mom and her expertise in a way she hasn’t in over five years.
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seriousbrat · 2 months
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quite contrary: mary macdonald + historical context, music
this is my Mary MacDonald playlist and I'd like to talk a little about my interpretation of her and her cultural/historical context! it might not align with fanon, ive no idea but idc frankly haha. I hope to have done my due diligence in terms of research (i'm an absolute research fiend) and in general this is a topic I'm personally highly interested in. because it's highly interesting and (ime) little-discussed. I'll be providing links for further reading. tagging @goldenromione bc she asked me to do this!
so in my fic Mary is a muggle-born girl from a British-Caribbean family in Croydon. Her family owns a Caribbean restaurant in Thornton Heath. She's rebellious and punky and gets a lot of this from her two older brothers, both Muggles; Toby, the eldest, is part of the Race Today Collective in Brixton, dedicated to the publication of a political magazine (Race Today) on race relations in the UK. The middle brother, Lewis (who has a fling with Sirius as a matter of interest lol) is a musician/DJ very active in the Ska Revival/Two-Tone scene of the late 70s-early 80s.
All this is very influential on Mary; she is very outspoken about muggle-born rights at school, and her music taste reflects her background. I do think she would like women-led punk especially x-ray spex, but also in terms of ska a group I think she'd have liked is the selecter, which features pauline black the coolest female vocalist i've ever seen in my entire life. just look at her:
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this will be explored in the upcoming 4th part of my fic, in which we see Sirius in his Brixton flat, and Mary and Lewis both spend a lot of time there. Specifically, he lives on Railton Road, which was a very important street in terms of both Black and LGBT history in Britain. It was the scene of the 1981 Brixton Riot and the location of many collectives at different points like the British Black Panthers, the 121 Centre (one of London’s longest running squats, also housed anarchist groups and other orgs), the aforementioned Race Today Collective, the Pink Fairies/South London Gay Community Centre, among others. It was also the home of many important Black British activists and historical figures like C.L.R. James, Darcus Howe and Leila Hassan. A few links:
A Radical History of 121 Railton Road By the Waters of Babylon; The Battle of Railton Road; International Centres Today in London gay history: the South London Gay Centre evicted, Brixton, 1976 Activist Streets (on history in Thornton Heath, linked above)
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If anyone is interested in this topic I cannot, cannot recommend enough the miniseries Small Axe on Amazon, which covers a few different important moments in Black British history from the 60s to the 80s. It's so incredibly good and the soundtrack is SUPREME. Another good one to get a feel for the period is In the Long Run, created by Idris Elba and set in London in the 80s, loosely based on his own childhood.
Lastly, a few images of how I see Mary under the cut:
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this is simona brown, my mary fancast, though the image I used for my playlist is of brenda sykes who I also think is an absolute Mary vibe.
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