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#bc of tummy ache.
fisheito · 6 months
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OMG. that means... Cloaca Crew........
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WAIT.
✨C l o a c a C r e w✨
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#is there a way to turn someone's tags into regular text or must i continue turning words into jpgs like a savage?#blade walks into the bathroom too and goes “oh?? u talking about the stall??”#“it's great! my voice bounces around while i'm in there so singing is super fun. here lemme show u”#cut to scene where it's blade crowding eiden/yakumo/rei into one stall and making them sing to test the bathroom acoustics#blade wears a hard hat while swimming in the shark tank#does it make sense? no. but blade does not want to be left out of the hat game. safety first!#did i go down another abyss of articles about owl and shark anatomy to confirm cloacas before i drew this? yes.#the tags tho#olivine (ever the caring coworker) tries to stop edmond from gorging on sugary carrots but edmond will outrun him#or stuff his face so fast that olivine cannot stop him#several hours later u just find edmond curled up on the ground in the rabbit pen#bc of tummy ache.#he is under a mountain of fluffy potatoes (bunnies) trying to comfort him#olivine knew this would happen so he's out there gently extracting edmond from the pile and coaxing him to rest properly#i wonder what the staff room fridge looks like.#WHO PUT AN ENTIRE KING SALMON ON TOP OF MY SALAD#anyway. they can probably eat relatively normal humanish food.#or maybe that fridge is just a decoy fridge (and a place for edmond's full 3 heads of lettuce)#and the real lunch fridge is in the back with all the “animal food storage”#u open it up and it's just a pixellated blur of gore#blame all the carnivores working here. they demand fresh meat.#zookeeper au#yakumo#eiden#rei#blade#edmond#olivine
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inkskinned · 9 months
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it just sucks because nothing is ever fucking made for you, and if it is made for you like 75% of the time it gets chopped into little pieces by every person alive because this is the one thing you have, so it has to prove itself to you.
like, a thing can't just be for women. men need to assign it to women. women have to experience "must" or "should" before their hobbies and passions - women are allowed to do silly, passive things like tuck our ankles and titter behind a fan, or something. women are allowed to, they are welcomed to. like the world is a house and we are supposed to be in the kitchen and now we are being given the divine right to enter the living room if we bring chips
because when it becomes for you, or about you, that is when the thing is vile. you should/must wear makeup so you can appear beautiful to men. once you wear makeup for yourself, or because you yourself enjoy putting it on, then you are no longer doing the right thing. there is a reason men hate certain fashion trends. there is a reason men hate things like the pumpkin spice latte - because it's not about them. you are buying it because it is good for you. they degrade your passions and interests. there is a reason women-led fields are largely seen as being "not a real" profession. when you are a good cook, that is because you can provide for him. close your eyes. you're not going to be a chef, be honest. that is a man making food for himself.
bras are made so breasts will be appealing to men. they are rarely about comfort or support. you have given up entirely on the idea of pockets. young girls have to worry about a shorter inseam on their shorts. a girl on instagram gets her septum pierced, and men in the comments are rabid about it - i just want to rip it out of her face. she'd be beautiful without it.
and fucking everything is for them. even the media that is "for you" is for them, eventually. remember "my little pony"? remember how hard it is to convince any executive to believe that little girls are worth selling to? in the media that is for you, you see little ways that you still need to make it accessible for them - the man is always powerful, smart, masculine. he is a man's man. the media usually forgives him. it usually says okay, some men are awful, but hey! gotta love 'em. because if you don't hold their hands and say "this is literally just a story about my lived reality", they shit their pants about it. they demand you put them into the media that's for you.
these are people who are so used to glutting themselves on the world. they are used to having every corner and every dollar and every place of leadership. so you say can i please have one slice of cake, just for myself, please, holy shit. and they fucking weep about it. they say you're being unfair, because some of their one-thousand-slices aren't beautiful, and your singular cake slice doesn't have their name on it. and aren't you being rude by not offering to share?
and honestly. fucking - yeah, man. you were kind of surprised, because the cake is a little basic (you bake at home, you're way past this stuff). but holy shit, it was nice just to be offered cake in the first place. you're used to having to starve. you're used to getting nothing, but going to the party anyway, because you're expected (professionally) to show up. you liked that it is a simple cake, and that it is warm, and mostly: you like that there is, for once, a cake-for-you.
in the real world, outside of metaphor, it feels like fucking being slapped. barbie didn't even say anything particularly unusual; it literally just made factually evident points. there are less women in leadership than men. we can look at that fact objectively. that is a real thing that is happening. and the movie is aware that it has to defend itself! that it has to spend like half an hour just turning to the camera and saying: i know this is hard for you to understand, but this is a real thing that women experience.
it's just - this is that one kid on the playground who thinks its allowed to hog all the toys. he builds this hoard that nobody else is allowed to even look at, or he'll get aggressive. everyone's a little scared of him, so they let it slide, because his daddy gave him the golden touch. he hates when people cry and thinks bullying is cool. he writes boys only! on a big sign and makes all his friends take "alpha male" classes.
and then girls pick up barbies, because there was nothing left for them. and in the void they've been given, with their scraps: they make long, spiraling narratives about how barbie is actually descended from snakes and has given her righteous followers magical (if concerning) powers and can speak 32 languages (2 of which are animal related) and has big plans for infrastructure (beginning with the local interstate). and the boy comes over, and he has a huge fit about how the girls aren't "including" him. he wants to know why the girls aren't making the story about ken.
"we didn't like your story." the girls blink at him. they point to his war stories and the gi joes and the millions of male-led narratives and how still in the modern day men get two-thirds of the speaking roles in movies and they point to men making mediocre shows that don't get lambasted and they point to men encouraging toxic masculinity and they point to men everywhere, men and men and men. and they say: "how is this our fault? you had ken."
"no!" he is already back to screaming and stomping his feet and tearing at his hair and intentionally reminding them that men are holding back thinly concealed violence and he says: "if it's not for me, it's actually sexism."
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b1mbodoll · 2 months
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g!p stepsister ning n her perv friends 😋
they’ll grope n tease u when ur parents r out n giggle amongst themselves when you whine n beg for their attention 😵‍💫 ningning keeps you stuffed full of her cum n her friends like to spread ur hole n watch it leak from ur needy lil cunt <3 jerking off to the sight n groaning when they cum, ropes of their sticky seed making ur cunt even messier n causing you to rub ur clit
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swordmaid · 2 days
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completely enraptured at the thought of brienne initiating a kiss for the first time and she just stands very stiff, firm grasp on jaime’s shoulder, leans in for like a very quick peck and that’s it. but her face is on fire btw, and she rehearsed that in her head 15 mins prior and she was also thinking up some lines before that like she was going for a more casual approach (“you have a little something-“ kiss!) or maybe something a bit more confident and direct (“can I kiss you? ACK…!!!!!!!!!ooouuuugghh…) but in the end she didn’t get to say any of that bc she literally just walks up to him and kisses him very quickly and she’s like 🫡 my job here is done, see ya. meanwhile jaime is stunned, completely disarmed, trying to process that HIS shy sweet brienne just kissed him so very nonchalantly and he’s like Huh..?? 🧍‍♀️ then huh…!!!!!!! 🙀😼😼😺 then he’ll just very briskly and casually just catch up to her theatrically cough like ahem AHEM. i did not know you were a thief, stealing kisses that. i thought you were such an honourable knight but you are nothing more than a scoundrel, a rogue that steal kisses from unassuming maids..!! 🧐🤨 you have to make up for what you did ser knight or else I’ll think u have no honor. another kiss, please. and he will be very delighted and annoying about it
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ghostclowning · 10 months
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alternative ending : master shen succesfully escaped
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columboscreens · 2 years
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pudgybun · 1 month
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I woke up so early today bc I had a hungry belly tummy ache (T^T) it does not feel good at all so I'm gonna make tea and edit some content and wait for it to feel better </3
Also today is like the most beautiful morning I've seen in forever! The sky is so blue and the sunlight looks warm and WINTER IS FINALLY OVERRR godd I'm so excited to be getting some vitamin D again !!! Good morning world omg!!!!
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creaturefeaster · 9 months
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I've told you guys for the first 25 years of my life I was fully incapable of burping right?
i love burping so much it is a gift from the heavens. i am so fucking powerful these days.....
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cultdionysus · 1 year
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i love worshipping dionysus bc being intoxicated and having gay sex are the most religious things you can do
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soldier-poet-king · 7 months
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I know I have terminal insane silly brain disease and my feelings on this matter will change in probably the next 5 minutes but like
Damn I am funny and hot and generally trying to be kindhearted and good, and my teasing and flirting and emotional rambling, which is maybe Too Much at times, is still a privilege and a blessing, not a burden, to the people around me
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akascow · 5 months
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just threw up for the first time since maybe like 6th grade i forgot how awful that feels omg
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discocandles · 2 months
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Haha guess who fainted at work today? And in front of customers too like what the shit
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dxsole · 3 months
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Big mad that I just realized that because Angus is a hellhound you could technically refer to him as
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yuukimiyas · 5 months
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tattoo consultation & appt!! BOOKED!! ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১
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swordmaid · 5 months
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I was reading this drow dnd handbook last night and this line made me cackle
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just imagining shri’iia in astarion’s confession scene internally being like
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