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#bc it means acknowledging what he's done or not done
mid-nightowl · 6 months
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…can i ask you to share more of your thoughts on fem!jaytim vibes
hi cory!!!! yes, yes i can :) <3
most of my thoughts come from this lil snippet and my tags.
my thoughts on fem!jaytim can be boiled down to this line: “Her successor fascinates her. She kind of wants to let him dissect her, little freak that he is.” 
like tim is a freak who would absolutely want to dissect and take jaye apart piece by piece just to get to the bottom of whatever the hell is wrong with her (obsessive) and jaye would let him bc she wants to know what the hell is wrong with him (affectionate). 
It’s almost a scientist and their never-ending experiment, but not quite?
like the dissection, its the act, the intimacy, the trust in being vulnerable and completely open on the table for them to see, a show and a sight but not a performance, it's the ‘i’m going to take you apart piece by piece, not to fix you or change you, but just to understand you’, and 'i’m going to get my hands dirty and dig into you, and it can be voluntarily or not, it can be with anesthesia or nothing but im going to know you whether you like it or not,' paired with 'you are going to have to cut me open to get to know me, it has to be cold and violent, it has to be artful and methodological.'
but jaye started off with ‘i want to destroy you, take you to the brink, the edge of despair and fury and hatred and let you go without any catharsis,’ kind of like capturing a wild animal, testing on it, and then releasing it back into the wild with a tag to see what it will do after being changed (will it return back to it’s normal routine or will it come back for more?)
and then tim kept coming back. and that's when jaye is like alright yeah, i'll let you rip me open and give me a name (or maybe give me back my name?) and tim does, and he does it carefully, adoringly, obsessively.
and i think tim’s obsessive focus, paired with the idea of the knife/scalpel = love, is what jaye would respond to best. she was raised in violence, and probably thinks that fighting and pain is caring and love, AND she’s never been a priority in anyone’s life. so for tim to obsess and know her in ways that no one else has before (or have even bothered) is captivating, exciting, and absolutely mind-boggling, and i think jaye would get possessive, like ‘this robin, this little freak is mine.'
i, hmmm. running out of coherent thoughts after this, so um i guess enjoy? <3
#asks#felinemotif#i don't write/talk about jaytim very much; ive always been a jaydick girlie#but this was a lot of fun to think about and like actually get down my thoughts in a somewhat coherent manner#i think there's another piece here about the dissection as an intimacy that only requires the subject and the surgeon/scientist#and the idea of labelling and taking photos of the parts something about learning and teaching but also remembering#another part: once the dissection is done once tim knows all of jaye does he stay?#which i think devolves into jaye going out of her way to prolong the dissection bc she thinks it may be temporary between her & tim#whereas tim is thinking okay i know all the pieces and parts which means im the perfect partner for jaye#no one knows her better than me AND no one will get to know her like i do#(the whole dissection thing too like tim is not afraid about hurting jaye whereas bruce is bc he knew her before)#(bruce thinks “dissection” would = change bad or good while tim knows it just means learning and knowing)#like it's going to be painful before it gets better and bruce doesn't want to go through the pain of knowing this version of jaye#bc it means acknowledging what he's done or not done#and tim's a fixer at heart but to fix things you gotta know what you're dealing with#problem is tim fell in love and realized fixing things would just make it worst so#he is very content with his tall gf that could kill him with her thighs and lets him do his freaky experiments<3#okay wow i was not done with the thoughts ajfkagjbsg imma stop now#jaytim#fem!jaytim
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starwikia · 2 months
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suicide cw
look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am. 
ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.
this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.
He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!
you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.
it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions. 
what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT. 
am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!
yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).
The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.
#warning: do not read this post if you want me to be nice to james somerton. i am extremely mean in this post.#before anyone accuses me of shit i legit never contacted him myself or anyone involved. i am someone who witnessed this behavior repeatedly#again. i hope hes alive and well. the fact is him lying about this WOULD BE THE IDEAL SITUATION. BC NO ONE SHOULD GO THROUGH THAT. but.#he HAS to forever be the victim in his eyes. attempting doesnt automatically mean youre free of sin.#its just terrible to see that regardless whether or not he did do it#its very clear his attempts to run away from his consequences are working on some people#we need to acknowledge that if your shitty ex friend can weaponize a threat to kill themselves#so can this internet person after being called out for horrendous shit#like what was the alterative? what were people supposed to fucking do? be nice about it?#yeah as if poc and trans women arent historically given shit for being 'too mean' about wanting justice.#this isnt just the plagiarism this is the fact a white dude has been parading himself as THE speaker for the gays(tm) but has been using hi#gayness to shield himself from his misogyny racism transphobia and antisemitism#its very clear regardless this means that ppl r going to side with him and then give him benefit of doubt#if you cant handle the heat stay out of the fucking kitchen dude. this is the consequences of your fucking actions.#hes a disgusting person who cant handle being told no so hes going to drag everyone down with him#like. idk this entire situation is frustrating to me.#its also frustrating ppl trying to be moral abt it like 'see! i knew this was bad all along!' no you didnt. shut it.#for the record im like mainly talking abt twit watching those spineless uwu cutesy ppl basically saying hes done noting wrong#oh and also alt righters who are clearly weaponinizing this where u know they wouldnt give a shit if a right ytber did this.#james somerton#idk might delete this later its just. ugh...
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something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
#makoto naegi#Danganronpa character analysis#Danganronpa#danganronpa thh#danganronpa future arc#I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known#he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said#he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky#he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done#and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though#post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do#it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to#and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc#he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions#I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse#and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate#and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually#I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself#that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels#it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it#it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic#anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for#the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!
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ladysansa · 2 years
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the stark difference of how Alicent is portrayed as a mother and as a person and how Rhaenyra is portrayed…very interesting to see and it really brings home just how much her father has impacted her and fucked her up—and how much she’s changed.
Alicent forces all of her anxieties and worries onto her children and she doesn’t seem to be very invested in them—she seems rather bored around Helaena and her bugs and Aegon doesn’t seem like he wants to be king, but Alicent wants to instil in them the same mistrust she has to Rhaenyra and, even though Rhaenyra offers her an olive branch, she refuses it. Alicent doesn’t want peace in the family, she doesn’t care about the things she insists that Rhaenyra doesn’t care about. She wants her son to be king, because she still trusts what her father told her all those years ago, that fear that he instilled in her, despite the fact that we’ve seen nothing from Rhaenyra that would make us thinks she would ever harm her brothers and sister.
I have no doubt that Alicent once loved Rhaenyra very much, we’ve seen it. but Alicent’s paranoia and mistrust of her—and her blind trust in her father—is going to start a war, and end in the deaths of thousands and the deaths of all of her children and grandchildren. It isn't going to be Rhaenyra that starts a war—it's Alicent.
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0809sysblings · 3 months
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idk why I'm posting this here but it's fine because I can do whatever I want. sorry I think I'm having an enneagram type 1 moment. it's not mental illness, it's because of my enneagram type! can't help being a Gemini Enneagram Type 1
also I keep using the amulet's powers so I've been being hit with the after effects. such power deranges a man /ref
#milgran't#type 1 momence#btw as a prefacw this is not directed at anyone here. this is just. a thing. that is everywhere.#ok. anyway.#the....... Exotification of DID/OSDD-1... is always so annoying.#and like. i get it. i understand. its probably a difficult thing for many ppl to actually comprehend as a real human experience#which brings me to the main point of this Pussy-Rant (ranting in tags bc im a pussy)#i think. the main reasom its So Exotified. is. '''''''MPD''''''''#serioisky that name has done. so much fucking damage its insane. absolute wack shit#anyway yeah. like. the concept of it being Multiple People In One Body/Brain... when like... that's.. not really whats going on..#like if youre a system and that's how you understand your system to be. then power to you. i dont care do literally whatever#its just. i think CDDs would be a LOT easier for people to understand if--#--it was not looked at as the Multiple People Disorder. but instead as the Fucking Extreme Compartmentalization Disorder#idk its just annoying seein ppl (who are probably very well meaning!) talk about the disorder i experience as if its bizarre and fantastical#~look wooooowwww this is something that can happen to the brain due to The Most Unreal And Most Traumatic Events!! crazy right?~#i am going to get the Evil Alter out here so he can beat you to death.#like yeah its fucking. sad and fucked up what has to happen to develop a CDD. and that should be acknowledged.#and many systems Have had to go through experiences that a lot of ppl can only fathom as being able to happen in fiction.#but.... its just so isolating and makes me feel Capital C Crazy 🥴#dear lord ive just been so irritable and frustrated lately... obligatory apologies.#ah. i think i suddenly figured out why this in particular triggers me so much.#god damn it it's always the fucking trauma huh!#<- spent basically all of elementary school and middle school feeling like there was a giant sign over my head that said--#--''this poor soul went through something so tragic! how awful to think that something that serious could happen to just a little kid!''#its the ''hey can you stop treating me as something helpless that needs to be fixed and just treat me like A Fucking Person'' feelings#but see this disorder is just so beautiful because in a week i may be wanting ppl to see me as a suffering freak who needs to be fixed#or hell even fucking tomorrow. who knows not me#.. ok im actually genuinely afraid talkimg about this is going to lead to her gettinf triggered out KDJSNKDJSNJD so im gonna. stop.
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roobylavender · 4 months
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i missed that class what dont you like about starlins rendition of their relationship?
(and also like, DID you think he did something in particular well or was it all…meh
the crux of my issues in this regard stems from batman #416. in the post-crisis era you began to see this way more lopsided depiction of bruce and dick's relationship wherein the former was portrayed to be almost.. bitter that dick had moved on to establish his own life. and it stood in great, great contrast to the bruce of the pre-crisis era, who was certainly devastated at the realization that dick was growing up, but also very intent for him to find his own happiness and way in life. they would have their disagreements on occasion (e.g., bruce initially disapproving of dick dropping out of college, bruce immediately taking leadership of a situation where the titans were involved when dick was better equipped to handle it, etc.) but the outcome of those situations was never outright bad yknow. bruce was very much capable of recognizing where he might have overstepped and subsequently stepped back to let dick have his own space. and i think initially max allan collins expanded on that dynamic in the post-crisis era in interesting ways by juxtaposing bruce's desire to see dick flourish against his own constant fear for dick's life. so instead of mike w. barr's comedic and lighthearted backup stories in early 80s tec where bruce disguised himself to keep an eye on dick's shenanigans and assure himself everything was going alright, you got this more serious confrontation within bruce with regards to his position as a parent. i don't think a lot of people read it that deeply but i've always viewed batman #408 as one of the most sensible depictions of that dilemma. the general complaints tend to be that this issue robbed dick of his pre-crisis decision to retire robin on his own, and i'll concede that as a worthwhile concern. but i don't think it's esp damning what with the implication that bruce no longer wants to be the person indirectly making the decision for dick to continue to be in this line of work. their moment at dick's bedside is less about bruce robbing him of the decision and more about him saying, if i let you still be robin, that's a direct reflection on me, bc i'm the one who got you to do all of this originally. i'm the one who put you directly in harm's way. if you're going to do this from now on, you need to do it on your own terms. you need to decide for yourself that this is who you want to be, without your relationship with me even being a factor.
it's a moment contributive to that delicious dynamic between them wherein every decision bruce takes to service dick's agency is inevitably read the wrong way by the latter to imply that he's not valued or not worthy of being seen as bruce's equal (and before the hounds pounce on me this obv does not include the increasingly abusive depiction of their relationship as the 90s progressed). that is an unavoidable dilemma when you're simultaneously someone's ward/adopted son and also their partner-in-crime! dick wants to be bruce's son and to be entitled to all of the love and care and protection that that entails but he also wants to be bruce's brother, his equal, his confidante, the one person he trusts more than anyone else in the world, etc. it's a tough place to be! it is paradoxical! and i'm so, so open to seeing that explored and think the way collins attempted to approach it in #408 was marvelous. but the way starlin (and other writers as well) totally swerved right in #416 to create this sudden resentment in bruce that dick had grown out of needing him was.. so utterly bizarre. like completely out of left field in a way i don't understand why people don't question it anymore bc in light of everything in the immediate fifteen years prior to the crisis it makes so little sense. their relationship with each other was so valued, bruce was so anxious to see dick establish himself while nonetheless maintaining a protectiveness over him, but it was all very much in good will even if he could overstep on occasion. it had all of the potential to allow for a very nuanced, empathetic exploration into the dilemmas of parenthood and esp when you are someone like bruce who has to forever live and contend with the crime of taking kids with him out onto the streets. bc he has to feel guilty! there is no escaping it. this is history, done and dusted forever, can't go back in time, so on and so forth. whatever harm comes any robin's way he has to live with as in some part being traceable back to his own actions. and i frankly believe that would be far more likely to evoke grief and anxiousness and concern than it would be bitterness that his son is charting out his own life
#as to do i think starlin did anything well. hmm#i like that he was able to acknowledge that jason's parents were loving people despite their circumstances#it didn't matter that willis was a criminal. what mattered was that he loved his family and would've done anything for them#which was a rare concession from starlin bc his writing could be pretty classist elsewhere#but at the same time idk sometimes i read it back and it's like. i don't think he was actually as classist as winick was ultimately#like it's been a While since i reread the starlin issues#but you could tell he believed jason's demise was less about his social class and more about being unable to fully recover from#or process his trauma as a result of the life he'd lived and the things he'd experience. hence the garzonas saga#and even in a death in the family the question is never about whether jason is acting out bc he's criminally inclined#bruce explicitly says he doesn't think he's given jason enough time to mentally and emotionally recover and that's why#he suspends him. so even starlin knew it was about the trauma first and foremost#and i mean that somewhat goes in line with his reasons for wanting to kill robin to begin with#he thought robin was symbolically representative of child abuse#in that it wasn't the conduit through which a young boy should necessarily grow#and ideally? the way to explore that in a medium that Requires the existence of child vigilantes#would have been to make the distinction that while there is always going to be some danger to every robin at the end of the day#what made the danger to jason distinct was that robin didn't work to resolve His trauma specifically#what robin did for dick is never something it could have done for jason let alone tim. there were too many other factors at play#so if this dilemma had been approached that way rather than starlin pursuing a blanket robin is child abuse ideology#that was subsequently picked up by other writers. then i think we might have gotten somewhere quite interesting#but anyway yeah so he's not my most hated by any means. there are parts i love there are parts i hate#ultimately at the end of the day winick will always be a gazillion times worse#outbox
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astrxealis · 1 year
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sorry one last: i think it's interesting how peoples own experiences change their perceptions towards things. like milgram
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა milgram ໒꒱ *·˚#like whether you think fuuta is forgivable or not#of course feeling guilty doesn't absolve him of his sins but in that case man are you going to vote everyone guilty#hmmm... it's really really complicated and extends to real world issues genuinely so it's hard to say for real#fuuta is partially responsible. but not the only one responsible. i think he's right in how he says that 'why only me?' and stuff like that#but he's sort of. not acknowledging. kind of trying to run away from what he's done in a sense. actually idk#LIKE... he's saying stuff like 'you're the same!' and all but he should yk. admit he's in the wrong.#love you fuuta but i get how that's like and he really needs to improve in that regard but then there's how. drama audio#it is really concerning... if he's voted guilty i'm not sure he'll survive. and tbh voting innocent might actually. Help him#i could explain but also it's sort of difficult to. but if someone does ask! hello!#i think the first trial. guilty helped bcs yk... he needs to realize his mistakes but it's. so frustrating too#bcs why he? why is (only) he guilty when the others are too? say like. yk.#it's because he's sort of yk 'aggressive' and all. it's a bit frustrating that people jump to 'guilty' immediately for the ones like him#in milgram that probably actually show regret more than the others who were voted innocent. or are like mikoto ifykim#and it's because of... often it is bcs of surface-level. thinking. and god it is all so complicated#and i don't want to say anything that's actually harmful but i think fuuta was forgivable from the start bcs he didn't mean it#that doesn't erase the consequences of what he did and everything but. hm. god it is all so complicated idk anymore#anyways guilty first trial is best but my personal beliefs would say innocent. i would still have voted guilty tho#like i said before and like what jackaloupe said. it's interesting if we choose based off our morals or what would be best. and ^^ yeah#for second trial... innocent. and my personal beliefs say innocent.#1. he's already been given a taste of the same medicine 2. voting guilty likely will have more concerning consequences#3. evidently more regretful and feels more guilty & less of a hero complex thus showing improvement of sorts#i'm trying to look at both sides and thinking of what would be best... anyways glad he's like 80% innocent at least <3 !!#but i think i wholly get people who still vote him guilty. though i personally don't agree at all. but i understand#hbgjhagha so complicated#edit. another thought i just remembered! fuuta targeted someone w/o much evidence so... basically someone innocent#it's different from kotoko in that she actually targets awful people. so i'm still really conflicted#that's the thing... and the fact idk whether i can really say oh futa's a good guy at heart. bcs. he seemed to... enjoy it. yk#and that's the thing. the crew behind milgram is obviously trying to make us think a certain way as well
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lovecrazedpup · 3 months
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eugh
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sapsolais · 7 months
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!
#damn! what a day captain and it's only 11 am#so i got dropped from my english class. which! is alright in itself y'know i think i woulda have 2 have done that anyway#bc stats has Money invested into it so i kinda. Have 2 do that HSJDHFJG. but also my english prof was just kind of#a dick. HDJDHFKFHGJHJ it's funny bc his name was essentially dick dickson. so#but just the way it happened was. eugh. i mean i tried participating today but he shut me down instead? and like wow#okay that was humiliating thanks. which in hindsight explains why no one in his class wants 2 contribute (bc he's an ass)#he did the same thing 2 a girl sitting behind me but much meaner? so i gave him my nastiest Side Eye HDJFHGKG#idk. i wanted to cry when i got to my car but i didn't solely bc imma ak#*acknowledge how i feel and breathe n then let it go. bc he was a prick anyway n i'm not gonna let him ruin my day i'm just Not.#so instead!! i got boba. and i'm getting one of my kids a cupcake bc it's his birthday today#n we're gonna make it good#w my free time at least!! i can finally start working out!! so that's actually really nice#n it's gotten colder lately so i can finally whip out the Trusty Bomber#w my haircut? and me abt 2 hit the gym?? it's butch season baby#makin it happen#next quarter i'm for sure gonna continue w stats i think n take a more laid back course on the side#n... also look into the teacher reviews before deciding on a class. HSDJHFJGHG#hm#gonna take a FAT fucking nap later#anyways#sap says
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cascadianights · 11 months
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I want organizations and people who speak w power, who will be heard
To do so in a way that includes the voices and needs of those most vulnerable within their larger community
And it feels impossible!! To achieve that! For 100 reasons.
And it feels so hurtful when people fall short, because it FEELS like so much more of the country is doing so out of maliciousness rather than ignorance every day.
And I think what I'm really terrified of is that despite all the "majority of poll voters on the internet don't agree w this" headlines and the people who DO talk explicitly about what's going on and who it will hurt the most... I'm most afraid that the 2024 elections will reveal that most people really want so many people dead at any cost
#watching who was vocal about what and who is silent now - or glosses over things and highlights others to large audiences#watching local organizations that act or dont act watching which individuals even acknowledge out loud what is happening#watching polls saying that even w everything he has done trump still has so many followers and desantis isnt far behind#wanting it to be desperately and in all caps bold clear that voting for them at this point means genocide#that that genocide is being targeted first and foremost at trans people and children rn but we're already seeing what forms it will take#if enough people really want it to be so#i want people to know that desantis' usa is one that isnt just hostile to teaching queer and critical race theory in classrooms#its one where trans people cannot obtain care one where undocumented people are stripped of every marginal right they had#one where disabled people can be refused care or even documentation of that refusal on a much wider scale than ever#one where the poor get infinitely poorer as the economy is restructured and ground to a halt and twisted#if you are not crystal clear on why he is dangerous and how on what bills have been passed and who they most endanger#then we risk even more people voting bc hes the most popular Republican on the ballot and not bc they KNOW what theyre voting for#2016 vs 2020 trump voters#people need to know what theyre voting for and who it will decimate and#im so scared that even if they know all of that it will still be enough people to win#here or in florida again or in the country as a whole#im so scared#and the people fighting feel so few and far between#there are so few of us even now#if we dont have allies we have nothing
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justtogetthrough · 1 year
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In the context of the past 3 weeks, today actually wasn't horrible. I had time mid day to even lie down for half an hour.
The meeting we had at 1:30 was productive and I had a good call with the agency after it. There was only a little 🤏 bit of crisis today (for me, not the family who had the kid take off again and had to call the cops on and it took them 3 hours to find her lol).
Tomorrow is going to be extremely stressful and if I don't hear back from someone we're going to definitely be in crisis with a kid having nowhere to go.
There's something in the air these days, I swear. Everyone is off their rocker.
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reverie-starlight · 5 months
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just some quick suna fluff bc I’ve been having strong feelings for him as of late.
gn!reader, no physical descriptions. fluff fluff fluff!!!! slightly lovey-dovey. still getting used to writing him so it might feel a bit choppy but he’s fun to practice dialogue with <3
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“rin, quick- what colour are my eyes?”
he looks up from his phone to see you covering your eyes with one hand. in the other is your own phone, screen lit up with some paused video.
“why?”
you click your tongue and his mouth twitches. “because I want to see how well you know me, obviously.”
he raises an eyebrow at that. “do you really think after all these years I don’t know your eye colour?”
“just go with it!” you plead, and then continue with a “please, rin?”
with all the confidence in the world and zero hesitation, he says “pink.”
the speed at which your hand comes down to hit the bed you’re both sitting on forces a sly grin onto his pretty face. your face is priceless and your eyes are as stunning as ever. it makes his heart skip a beat.
“I swear-“
you look completely done with him, so obviously this means he can’t help but mess with you some more. he puts on a bewildered expression acts like he’s surprised.
“no, seriously, I think you have pink eye or something, babe. I thought you knew already.”
you blink and the annoyed look on your face turns into worry. he watches you switch to the camera app and examine your eyes. “RIN!”
he can’t help but snicker and beckon you over to cuddle into his side. you do, despite being cross with him, and he soothes you with a kiss to your forehead. “I’m sorry baby, it was too easy. of course I know the colour of your eyes.”
you roll them and nod a bit, sulking.
he blinks and tries to figure out what’s happening in front of him before realizing there‘s probably something else going on. he thinks back to the paused video he saw on your screen earlier and recalls that it was one of those street interviews that tests couples.
he’s seen them, of course, and has always made fun of the guys who don’t even know the most basic shit about their partners.
and then something clicks in his brain. are you scared he’s like them? you should know by now that he’s not, but he knows that sometimes doubt and insecurity creep in against your will, so he holds you tighter and flicks your forehead.
“I know you like the back of my hand, eye colour included. I’m always paying attention to you, even when you don’t realize it.”
you nod again, but you don’t look completely convinced yet. he scratches his chin as he thinks some more of how to make you feel better.
plan A is to flirt, because as much as you deny it, he knows you secretly like the attention and compliments he gives you.
he tilts your chin up to look at him and smiles a little, examining your eyes. “yup, still the prettiest shade I’ve ever seen. I never get tired of looking into them.”
you can’t hold the eye contact for long (you never can and he absolutely adores it) and gently pry his hand off so you can turn away.
“stoppp,” you say in a voice that makes it clear to him you don’t mean it.
because he knows you and all of your cues and he’ll spend every day proving it to you if he needs to.
“getting shy on me? you were so fiery earlier, what happened?”
you knock your forehead against his shoulder. “shut up.” there��s a smile in your voice now and he doesn’t even need to look at you to confirm that fact.
“nah, I’ll keep going. I hate to say it ‘cause you need to be humbled sometimes, but you’re, like, really hot or whatever.”
your head shoots up and you gape at him. “I need to be humbled?” there’s the hint of a laugh at the end of your sentence and he just shrugs.
“hey, I’m not the one who gets off on messing with their partner.”
you gasp and do let out a laugh this time, hitting his shoulder. “yes you are, you dick!”
and you allow the slander because you know suna, too. this is his way of acknowledging that you’re upset, not bringing it up and bringing you out of that state without being dismissive. he always knows exactly what you need and how to make it better.
after a few more minutes of back and forth, you’re giggling into his chest and he’s just smiling up at the ceiling while rubbing your back. a familiar warm feeling settles in his heart.
“better?” he asks.
you sigh happily against him and he feels you nod.
“good, because plan B was pretending to fall off the bed and hoping you laugh.” he’s half joking, but if it really comes down to it, he knows he’d bend over backwards to see you happy.
you snort, but you feel fuzzy at his words. you seem to realize the same thing going through his mind in that moment.
“thank you.”
he’s not sure if you’re thanking him for cheering you up or for simply knowing you, but his response covers both meanings anyway.
“my pleasure.”
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he’s insufferable and I love him and this kinda sucks but in my defence I wrote it last night in like twenty-five minutes.
@dira333 here’s your tag!!!
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kentopedia · 2 months
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౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ IN ALL THE LINES I'VE READ — nanami kento
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summary . . . coffee shop meet cute with literature professor nanami <3
contents . . . sfw, written w f!reader in mind, lit prof nanami tehe, fluff, grumpy nanami, reader is a barista, age gap (nanami early 30s, reader early 20s) — 1.4k
notes . . . selfship coded :,,) this is such a random idea from rylie's brain (and drafts) bc i must post something for my most beloved for valentine’s day <33 i have some other ideas for this so let me know if you like it !!!
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The first time you meet Nanami Kento, it’s in a dimly lit cafe in your hometown. 
The evening is just dawning upon you, the grey of the dreary sky turning into a muted black. It’s just after 5pm; the sun already fading into the horizon, drizzly rain coating the windows like crystals. 
You’ve been busy all day — it’s always busy on rainy days, when people seem to recall that the ambience of rain pelting outside mixes well with a cup of warm coffee between your palms. The tables are all full, now that people have gotten off work, and it’s a favorite study spot of many students. 
It’s tiring work sometimes, and there are days where you get weary of the same routine. When saving up money seems like a fruitless effort, and you feel like your life should’ve begun already.
But it’s also good to be around people like this… Seeing them laugh and smile, while you only wonder what they’re talking about. The job pays less, but it’s better than being cooped up in a office all day. 
“Hey,” one of the other baristas sets a latte down, a pattern of milk sitting just on top. “Can you run this to the man over there,” she points to a blonde in the corner of the cafe. 
Wordlessly, you take the mug, wiping the drops of coffee that have spilled over the sides of it. The customer had ordered a pastry as well, one of your favorites. There is a small puff of steam wafting off of it, the bottom of the plate still hot.
The man’s back is towards you, facing the window, and he’s bent over a pile of papers. You can’t see his face — but his hair is done up nicely, and his white button-down sleeves are rolled up to his elbow. There’s a nice watch on his wrist, silver and black; one that’s probably more expensive than anything you own.
It’s a balancing act, weaving through the tables with the pastry and mug in hand, and when you get to his, there’s no room to set his order down. Papers are scattered across the table, and there is a stack of well-loved books beside him. A few are titles you recognize, ones you’ve read, ones you own but haven’t gotten to. Some you know only vaguely. 
“Here’s the latte,” you say, distracted, scanning the spines of the books. The man mutters an apology, and moves his papers so that you can set the coffee and plate down. 
He doesn’t look up at you, offering only a dismissive thank you. But the sound goes unnoticed by you; you’re too preoccupied by your excitement. So few people walk in here with with books you’re actually interested in discussing. 
“I’ve been meaning to read that one,” you say, pointing to a title that is on your long list of books to be read. 
He hums — it’s obvious he doesn’t care, and the sound is just one of acknowledgement.
Embarrassment heats your cheeks as you realize this is probably something he gets often. Upon second glance, he’s attractive… breathtakingly so. He probably fends of hoards of woman, ones who use books to gain the key to his heart, even if they’re only pretending to be interested.
“I enjoyed his other books,” you continue, highlighting the ones that you’ve read and love. At least, then, he’ll know you’re not an idiot, even if he stays silent, eyes glued to the paper. 
His pen stops scratching marks into the sheet, but only for a second. Then, he carries on, unimpressed by whatever slim knowledge you’re able to supply. 
“Are you a teacher?” The words leave your lips, once before you can stop yourself.
He doesn’t care. You aren’t sure why you’re even still bothering. 
“Nope,” he replies, finishing up his summarized commentary, scribbled in a penmanship that is something in between messy and elegant. “A professor.” 
“Oh.” You’d thought he was too young to be a professor, but when you look at home closer, there are faint lines around his eyes, ones even more obvious on his forehead. Around thirty, you’d guess. Maybe even older than that. “That’s interesting.”
You should probably leave him alone. He’s busy, and you’re supposed to be working, and he probably thinks you’re a child, the way you’re talking to him like a brick wall. Yet, there is something about him that keeps you glued to your spot, so intrigued by the stack of novels and the way his hand flexes around the pen. 
“Is it?” There is a hint of irritation in his voice when he finally glances up at you from under the round, wire-rimmed glasses, perched on the bridge of his nose. The pen drops onto the table with a soft click. “Because, I find that—”
His lips part. Whatever he was going to say next seems to die, abruptly cut off, and he blinks at you. Two dark eyes scan your face with a hint of surprise. 
You’re cheeks warm, and you suddenly feel uncomfortable. It’s not typical of you to make conversation with strangers, and you’re certain he notices how awkwardly you’re standing. 
“I’m sorry,” you say, clearing your throat, and pointedly ignoring the lump in it. His silhouette had been striking enough, but it’s nothing compared to the entirety of his face. He’s beautiful — like he’s stepped right out of the pages of a novel himself. He feels like everything you’ve ever wanted, with his stack of books and piercing irises. “I’ll let you get back to grading.” 
“No need to apologize.” The tone shifts a bit, his voice not as rough. Maybe you’re just delusional, but his eyes appear to soften. “I’m almost done, anyway.” 
You nod, and a little smile pulls onto your face. It’s not quite true; the stack of ungraded papers is twice as large as the ones he’s finished. “Well, I should … Get back to work. Enjoy the coffee.” 
He smiles, amused; your heart flips, then sinks all the way down to your stomach, pounding. “Alright. Thank you.”
“Have a good night!” you say, far too quickly, before turning on your heels. Your hands are sweating, and you hope he never comes in again, because you’re not sure that you can stand the embarrassment you feel. 
The blonde professor, name unknown, lets you go, and you slink off to hide in the kitchen, cursing yourself for acting like a fool. With hot cheeks, you down a glass of water, big gulps from your shaking hands, and glare at your co-worker when she grins to herself. 
Thirty minutes later, your shift ends, and the professor has made his way out the door, walking down the sidewalk. As you leave the cafe, your bag over your shoulder and hair undone, you notice that he left one of his novels, the one you’d pointed out to him in the beginning of your conversation. 
You rush out to stop him, carrying the book with you. “Hey,” you shout, waving it to the stranger. “You left this.” 
He glances over his shoulders, bundled up in a coat to combat the brisk air. There’s a redness on his cheeks from the cold, a hint of a smile on his lips. “I know,” he says, hands firmly tucked in his pockets. “You can keep it.” 
“But—” you start, swallowing as the pages rustle with the wind, the cover snapping open. 
“You wanted to read it, didn’t you?” he shrugs. “I’ve got lots of copies. You can give it back to me when you finish.” 
You start to question him, but he’s already turned around, heading away. 
Which means he’ll be back, won’t it? You haven’t scared him away completely. 
You shout something at him, and turns, just halfway, making a face that tells you he didn’t hear you.
“That’s my name,” you say again, repeating it, licking your lips. Your only hope is that he’ll offer his. 
But he doesn’t — he keeps walking down the sidewalk, before he answers a phone call, and crosses the street.
Unsurprising.  
You sigh, gaze dropping down to the book. The pages are filled and filled with his handwriting, notes in the margins, highlights and lines across the words. So much thought had been put into it, that you wonder how many times he’s read this book, if maybe, it’s a favorite. 
The wind flicks the cover back to the front title page, the publisher underneath. In the top right hand corner, Nanami Kento is smoothly written. As if he’d wanted you to discover it yourself, instead of hearing it from his lips.
You trace it, and smile. 
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yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶
i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)
have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖
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i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...
i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned
mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭
i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔
i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends
i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about
people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled
in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol
the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭
its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭
mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)
i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.
its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!
she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!
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she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"
she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)
she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.
he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.
THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.
she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7
but again, those are the consequences of HER actions
her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭
their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"
its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!
you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)
everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.
obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.
the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"
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she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!
just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.
im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!
im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.
i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!
i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process
talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol
i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭
its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.
all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.
i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.
also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!
thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!
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yoon-kooks · 1 year
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on mute | jjk
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🦈pairing: fuckboy!gamer!jjk x reader
🦈genre: friends to lovers, office!au, coworker!au, smut, fluff
🦈summary: You always assumed your handsome coworker was down to fuck anyone in the office except for you. He always assumed you weren’t interested in a guy like him. And both of you were content with never admitting your feelings… until he unknowingly confides in you in the realms of a certain tactical FPS game.
🦈word count: 10.7k
🦈warnings: mutual pining, shooter game references, soft fuckboy vibes, fingering, doggy style, protected sex bc bro aint taking no chances🤠
a/n: i wasnt planning on including smut so thats a bonus✨
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You press a hand to your mouth to suppress a yawn as the department meeting finally comes to an end. Your boss had gone over the schedule for next quarter, alluded to a few new projects, and gave a few shoutouts to people on your team who apparently “went the extra mile” this week. You couldn’t care less about being acknowledged for your work, but it does kind of irk you that Jeon Jungkook got a shoutout when you’ve never seen him do extra work in the office. All he’s done this week is take your pretty lady boss out to lunch. If that’s considered extra work, you suppose Jungkook works the hardest. After all, he’s the type to make time for anyone he wants to sleep with aka everyone in the office except for you.
As you scoot your chair out, you back into something very solid. Surely no one is dumb enough to stand right behind your chair when they know how eager everyone is to get out of here for the weekend. But when you turn around, you know exactly who it is without even seeing his face—Employee of the Week Jeon Jungkook. 
You stare at the back of his shoulders in that mustard button-down, and it occurs to you that it was his nice ass that you’d bumped into. He didn’t even stumble forward from the impact or at least step aside so you can leave like everyone else. You just want to get home, soak in a nice hot bubble bath, and play a few games with your calico all curled up in your lap—that’s the ideal Friday night that Jeon Jungkook is keeping you from.
“Excuse me, kind sir,” you say as your nude acrylics tap the armrest.
The boy turns around with fake astonishment. And a handsome smile. “Oh, Y/N, I didn’t know you were still here.”
“I mean, yeah, I’d be gone too if someone wasn’t blocking my way out.” In the year that you’ve been on the same team as Jungkook, the two of you somehow developed this sarcastic and aggressive way of speaking without actually being mad at each other. Some call it banter, but you dislike the possible romantic implications of that.
“What’s the rush? Got plans tonight?” He still doesn’t move out of the way. You didn’t expect him pinning you against a table in the office to be so underwhelming. You imagine a fuck boy like him could try a little harder, be a little rougher. Not that you’ve ever fantasized about it.
“Yeah, I just bought some cute new lingerie for when I hop into bed with Christina Lauren and my cat.” You leave out the gaming part of your Friday night plans. If he knew you played the same game as him, he’d probably use it against you somehow.
“Who’s Christina Lauren?” he asks. You love the thought of him imagining you in lingerie with some mystery woman. Or maybe that’d just encourage a threesome.
“My cat’s favorite romance writer?” You say it like it should be common sense to know that your cat purrs himself to sleep when you read to him.
“And you’re going to waste your cute new lingerie on reading a Lauren Christina bedtime story to your cat?”
“It’s Christina Lauren, not Lauren Christina.”
“Christina Lauren doesn’t care about your lingerie.” It amuses you how he keeps bringing up the lingerie. You wonder what he’d think if he saw you in that skimpy mesh fabric. It’d probably come as a shock to him considering he’s only ever seen you in your preppy office attire. He has no idea what you’re capable of beneath those cream blouses and mocha mini skirts.
If only he knew.
“Tldr, yes I have very urgent plans tonight.” That reminds you, you need to check your in-game shop to see if any pretty skins are on sale this time around. You’ve been eyeing the one with the cute whale shark design.
“What a coincidence, Lauren Christina is my favorite writer too. I really liked that one book she wrote.” You don’t hate that he’s prolonging the conversation, but if he says “Lauren Christina” one more time, you’re gonna report him to HR.
“Same,” you chuckle. “Now please move so I can leave.”
He finally steps aside. Before he can pull a fast one and trap you again, you throw your tiny bag over your shoulder and scurry for the exit. You stop just outside the conference room and spin around. The boy’s eyes quickly shift up from your skirt.
“Coming or not?” you ask with a head tilt. If there’s one good thing about having a local fuck boy in the office, it’s that you always have someone who’ll walk you to your car when it’s dark out. That’s one of the things you know he does just for you.
On the elevator ride down, it’s just you and him because everyone else has already vacated the building. You sneak a peek at your handsome colleague. It’s a shame that he spends more time in your coworkers’ beds than in actual relationships. If not for that, you’d—
“You should recommend a book for me,” he says, catching you mindlessly staring at him. Oops.
“You don’t look like a reader.” You doubt he’d ever pick up a book over girls.
“I’ll read a book if you say it’s good.” Now he’s just sweet talking you, and you’re not going to fall for it. Except, you would love someone to gush to about your favorite books.
“Dating You/Hating You.” The book title just sort of slips out of your mouth. Though you can’t exactly vouch for how good it is since it’s the one you’re currently reading.
“Give me your best elevator pitch for it.” Haha, he thinks he’s so funny. (You laugh anyway.)
Persuasion is your thing, but you can’t give a proper elevator pitch for a book you haven’t actually finished yet. Moreover, you don’t know what kinds of genres he’d be into or if this book would be a good fit for him. You don’t even know any of his interests outside of sex and video games. 
When you really think about it, there’s not much you know about Jeon Jungkook. He’s a mystery, but a charming one.
“It’ll give us something to talk about,” you say softly as the loud ding interrupts. “That’s my elevator pitch to you.”
“Not bad,” he nods as you both exit the elevator. That was way easier than expected. “Is it by your cat’s favorite romance author?”
“It is,” you smile. It’s hard not to smile when you’re with him. “I can lend you my copy next week after I fin—”
“Jungkook!” The new recruiting coordinator blocks your way out of the building with eager eyes and a smile brighter than your own. “Still down for drinks later at that place we talked about?”
You try not to roll your eyes as you step around yet another coworker who ignores you standing right next to the boy they want to ask out. You and Jungkook aren’t a thing, but it does hurt to know that not a single person thinks of you as worthy competition. He’s probably made it very clear to everyone in the office that you and him are just friends and that your nightly walks to the parking lot are for safety purposes only.
Thankfully, you get out of the building before you can hear Jungkook accept the invitation into someone else’s bed. The last thing you want is to be jealous of the people he’d rather be spending time with. You and your silly little book recommendations mean nothing to him.
Nothing at all.
“Sorry about that.” He catches up to you a minute later in the dimly lit parking lot.
You shake your head. “It’s alright. That’s what happens when you’re the popular guy.” And you mean it, too. You’re not the type to fault people for being who they are, nor would you ever ask them to change for you. Besides, there’s really nothing between you and him. There’s nothing he should feel sorry for.
“Hey, why do you always park in the furthest corner of the parking lot?” he teases, probably as a way to change the subject. You see his car parked just a few spots down from you, so he doesn’t really have a right to criticize your decisions. Looks like your habit has rubbed off on him. “It’d be safer if you parked closer to the building.”
You shrug even though the parking placement and slightly longer walks are intentional. He doesn’t need to know it’s your subtle way of prolonging the time you spend with him. You always look forward to those few extra minutes where he’s all yours.
“It doesn’t feel dangerous here at all.” Not when you’re with him. You unlock your car and hop into the driver’s seat.
“Yeah, totally not dangerous.” Jungkook holds your door as he scans the dark and empty lot for anything suspicious. He listens as a few sirens screech in the distance and does a double-take at the lone soda can rolling around in the wind. When the coast is clear, he turns back to you. “I look forward to reading the Lauren Christina book when your cat’s done with it.”
He waits for your seatbelt to click before closing the door. You roll the window down and glare. “It’s Christina Lauren! And have fun on your date.”
With a wave of your manicure, you’re off to your “urgent” Friday night plans.
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When you return home, you get what you want. You strip off your work clothes and soak in a lavender bubble bath for a good 30 minutes before admiring the new lingerie Jungkook wouldn’t stop mentioning earlier. 
It’s tempting to try it on now, but you wish someone else could see it on you. Jungkook is right. Christina Lauren doesn’t care about your lingerie. If the boy were here to see it for himself, you want to know what he’d think, what he’d say, and what he’d do to your body. It’d probably be incredible—for one night—but that’d be the end of it. That’s how all of his flings go, and a hypothetical one with you would be no different. With a sigh, you set the lingerie aside, throw on an oversized sweatshirt that just barely covers your ass, and load into your game.
The first thing you do is check the shop for the cute gun skin with the whale shark design. The RNG gods give you a couple of good knives, an awful pistol, a subpar rifle, and no shark. It’s fine, you tell yourself. You didn’t want to spend real money on pretty pixels anyway.
As soon as your first match starts, your four teammates are quick to use their mics. Apparently, they all know each other. Can’t relate.
“So… How’d the date go?” asks the healer. The two duelists place their bets on whether the date went incredibly well or horribly wrong. You silently cast your vote for horribly wrong since you lean toward pessimism.
“I didn’t end up going,” says the initiator. He sounds a lot like a certain Jeon Jungkook, but you shouldn’t assume. As far as you know, he doesn’t have a reason to cancel the date with that recruiting coordinator. In fact, he should be having drunk sex with her right about now. Not that it’s any of your business to know what your handsome coworker does after hours. None of that involves you.
“Is it because of You-know-who?” asks the duelist who voted with you. You-know-who? Like a jealous ex-lover? Sounds like drama to you.
“Yep…” Nah, it can’t be the Jeon Jungkook you know. This guy’s voice is giving you more lovesick puppy than confident fuck boy. He dies from a grenade and goes silent for the next few rounds while his buddies keep providing intel to the team. You pick up the whale shark gun over his dead body.
“Hey, CL,” the healer calls out your username. “Do you have a mic?”
Yes, you do have a mic. No, you’re not going to use it. These guys seem harmless so far, but it’s not always fun when people realize you’re the only female on the team. Men in this game try to hit on you just like the ones you pass in the short distance from the office to your car. And they’ll only stop pestering you if you’re walking next to a guy like Jungkook, which you clearly don’t have in this game with your empty friend list. So you’d rather stay on mute for now.
“my mic is broken,” you type, “cat knocked it over.”
“Ah, that’s okay.” He heals you up and saves you from an otherwise fatal headshot. “We were just wondering if you could help our buddy out.”
You? You’re not sure how you’re supposed to be of any help to a lovesick puppy when you haven’t had much luck in the love department either. But you are a curious kitten when it comes to other people’s love lives.
“maybe… can i get more context?”
Apparently, this lovesick puppy (or “Jklmnop” according to his username) has a little more in common with Jungkook than you’d originally thought. Turns out both of them are the designated fuck boys at their workplaces. Except this one has a massive crush on his “super hot” colleague. Jeon Jungkook would never.
The issue is that Jklmnop caught feelings for the one person who doesn’t seem interested in him. Worse, it feels like he’s being friendzoned. And he’s been going on dates with other people in an attempt to squash those unrequited feelings, but it’s just not doing the trick.
“i know a fuck boy too.” You are by no means an expert in the fuck boy archetype, but perhaps your time spent with Jungkook has prepared you for this opportunity to help a friend in need. And you do have some advice. “im not saying fucking all your coworkers is a bad thing but if you really want this girl you need to go all in on her and show her that you’re willing to commit to something more serious.”
Because if you knew this to be true about your own local fuck boy, you’d give him a chance, too. But as far as you know, Jungkook has never shown any romantic interest in you (or anyone else for that matter). He’s just a platonic buddy to you and a fuck buddy to everyone else.
“and it’s very possible she doesnt even realize youre interested in her,” you type, “this is a dumb question but have you tried asking her out yet?”
Your dumb question gets a few laughs from the boys. You feel like an IT person asking their client if they’ve tried turning their computer off and on again.
“Oh, our guy here doesn’t ask people out. He’s the one getting asked out all the time,” Duelist #1 explains.
“It’s been a year and You-know-who hasn’t made a move on him, so that must mean she doesn’t like him,” Duelist #2 adds in a sarcastic tone. You imagine him rolling his eyes on the other side of his screen.
“well @Jklmnop if you dont normally ask ppl out, itll hold more weight when you do.” Your fingers pause for a second. Maybe you’re just soft, but it’d mean a lot to you if you were asked out by the Jeon Jungkook. You’re sure this fuck boy could pull it off too. “you should ask her out. maybe shes waiting for you to make the move.”
You don’t get an immediate response, but he trades his pretty shark gun for your plain one. He must have seen you steal the one over his dead body a few rounds ago. What a thoughtful guy.
Then a friend request pops up. Fine. Jklmnop can be the one username on your otherwise empty friend list.
“I’ll ask her if the opportunity arises,” Jklmnop says after clutching a 1v4. “Thanks bro.”
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On Monday, you’re a lot sleepier than you should be at the beginning of the work week because you practically spent the entire weekend gaming with your new fuck boy friend and finishing the book you recommended to your office fuck boy friend.
Your dark circles must be pretty bad because Jungkook feels the need to stop by your desk and say, “Up all night reading Lauren Christina?” He taps the book on your mousepad, so he can clearly see that it’s Christina Lauren and not Lauren Christina. He’s just teasing you at this point.
“It’s Christina Lauren, you shithead. And yes, I finished it, so you can read it now,” you say, handing the book to the boy. He holds it with a soft grip as if to avoid creasing the pages. If library books were treated with the same care, they wouldn’t feel so crusty all the time. You can respect guys with gentle hands. “I expect a full book report by Friday.”
“At least give me the weekend,” he frowns. It’s the most attractive frown you’ve ever seen.
“Sure, if that’s how you want to spend your weekend,” you yawn. Wouldn’t he rather be doing anything else on his days off than read your book?
“That’s how you spent your weekend, Sleepyhead.” He makes a good point. His chuckle is quite cute too. 
As he flips through the book, you see something shimmery wedged between the pages toward the end of the story. You told yourself a million times to take your silly little bookmark out before lending him the book, but of course you forgot. Maybe he won’t notice.
Unfortunately for you, Jungkook pulls the metallic blue bookmark out to examine it. His lips curve upward when he sees it’s shaped like a whale shark. Oh great. He’s definitely gonna tease you about it. You knew you should’ve gone with one of the more sophisticated leather bookmarks.
“You really like these guys, huh.” He holds it up by the chain to let some light shine through the tiny holes mimicking the shark’s gorgeous spotty pattern. Not the reaction you were expecting, but you’ll take it.
“What makes you say that?” You don’t ever recall confiding in him about your whale shark obsession. Last time you checked, all of your nerdy and kiddish quirks were kept far away from your office. It’s just not on-brand for the professional image you’ve established here.
“Didn’t you have a cute whale shark phone case when you first started working here? Before you switched it to that cream-colored one?” He wrinkles his face, deep in thought as he tucks the bookmark back where he found it. He’s right, though. You just assumed no one had ever noticed it. As soon as you got your new work phone, you switched to something more neutral to fit your minimalist aesthetic.
“Oh, right.” You’d forgotten about the case just like you forgot about the bookmark. But Jungkook somehow notices and remembers those kinds of details about you. It’s almost endearing in a way.
You shouldn’t let yourself think like that, though. Those are dangerous thoughts.
“By the way, how was your date?” As much as you hate to admit it, you’re curious about his date with the recruiting coordinator. Besides, if he says it went well, you’ll have yet another reason to stop holding onto the tiny feelings you have for him.
“I didn’t go.”
“Oh,” you press a finger to your parted lips. That’s unheard of for Jeon Jungkook. “Did her cat die or something?”
“Why does someone’s cat need to die for the date to be canceled?”
“There must’ve been a pretty big emergency for you to forgo a date, no?”
“Is that what you really think of me, Y/N?” He cocks his head to the side because he’s a fuck boy and that’s what fuck boys do.
“That’s not what I think of you.” Another yawn slips from your mouth. “It’s just facts. You have a 99% attendance rate when it comes to dates, don’t you?”
He nods because he can’t argue with the credible gossip that goes on in your office.
“Anyway, I’m going to run to that coffee shop you won’t shut up about,” he says as he glances at the time on his phone and then at the dark abyss under your eyes. “Need anything?”
“Hmm…” You pretend to think deeply about your order. Usually when other people go on coffee runs, you request something easy to remember like an oat latte. But for Jeon Jungkook, the boy who keeps fucking up Christina Lauren’s name, you won’t go so easy. “How about an iced birthday cake latte with oat milk, an extra shot of espresso, two pumps of toffee syrup, and the crème brûlée topping? Please.”
“So… birthday cake frappuccino with oat milk?” He snickers in your sleepy face before walking off. “You’re gonna have to come with if you want all that extra stuff.”
It’s a latte, not a frappuccino. But you suppose it doesn’t matter if he knows the difference because you’re scurrying to catch up with him as he heads for the elevator.
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The “coffee shop you won’t shut up about” has been open for a few months now, and you’ve stopped by at least two times a week since the grand opening for your usual dose of caffeine. Should you be proud or embarrassed that the baristas all know your name and order? How about when they raise their eyebrows at the sight of you walking in with your handsome coworker?
“She’ll have a birthday cake frapp—”
“Don’t listen to him. I’ll get a birthday cake latte, please,” you tell the barista at the register. Jungkook chuckles as you give his arm a light shove. “With oat milk and crème brûlée today.”
“Sure thing, Y/N,” she smiles at you and then turns to the boy next to you. “Anything for you?”
“Just plain coffee, thanks,” he says after a quick glance at the menu. You hate that he orders plain coffee when the menu has all these fun options like pink donut lattes or cookies n cream cappuccinos. If he wanted black coffee, he could’ve saved time and money by brewing some in the office. He didn’t have to go all the way to the coffee shop you wouldn’t shut up about. But he did. And he invited you along for the ride.
As the two of you wait for your drinks, you pick the booth in the corner next to the window. You’ve always had this vision of sitting inside a cozy cafe to work from your laptop or read a book. It just hasn’t happened yet because you get scared off when all the other customers bring their friends or lovers to share that experience with. Your laptop and books can’t compare to that. 
You’ve always been envious. Until today.
“That doesn’t look nearly as complex as it sounded,” Jungkook says when he sees your latte with the fancy crème brûlée on it. He slides his boring coffee across the table to you. “I’ll let you try mine if you let me try yours.”
Only a weirdo would accept a pathetic offer like that.
“Deal.” You take a sip of your sugary treat before passing it off to the boy. He winces from how sweet yours is compared to the bitterness of his black coffee. You make a face for the opposite reason.
“I’m surprised you agreed to it,” he hums with a tiny bit of crème brûlée around his mouth. You want to kiss it off. He must notice you eyeing his lips because he wipes it off with his thumb a second later.
“I wanted you to try my special drink,” you say. It’s for the same reason you lent him your book—to let him know another tiny piece of you without explicitly saying it.
“I’ll have to get it myself next time we come.” He pulls up the notes app on his phone and types as he speaks. You wonder if “next time” and “we” imply that this coffee outing is going to become another routine thing between you and him, just like your walks to the parking lot. Hopefully it does. No, it definitely will. Because you’ll be the one to ask him next time. “What’s it called again? Birthday cake frappuccino… with crème brûlée?”
“Exactly,” you lie. Who knows. His mistake might taste even better. You’ll have to find a way to sneak a taste when he isn’t looking. It’s something sweet to look forward to.
As you sip your latte, the barista who took your order catches your eye from across the store, points at Jungkook, and mouths something to you. You don’t quite catch it, so she repeats it again just as your coworker turns to see what you’re staring at.
“Boyfriend?” she mouths, clear as day, before spinning around to use the espresso machine. 
When the boy turns back to you, he has such a goofy grin on his face. He points to himself and repeats, “Boyfriend?”
“Stop,” you laugh at his antics but totally dodge the question. “Anyway… may I ask why you didn’t go on that date with the recruiting coordinator?” 
His eyes are wide. Probably because it’s not like you to pry. But you just want to make sense of why he’s sitting here with you, acting all sweet and boyfriend-like, after bailing on someone else a few days ago. He’s not his usual self either.
“It was faster to reject her,” he shrugs. You didn’t realize he was in such a hurry on Friday. It certainly didn’t seem like it with how he’d blocked your way out of the conference room.
“What were you in such a hurry for?”
“Isn’t it our unspoken thing to walk to the parking lot together?” He says it like you’re silly. Like the fate of the world depends on him being able to fulfill his duty of walking you to your car each and every day. Like he’d forgo hours of good sex for a five-minute walk with you.
“It’s not unspoken if we talk about it,” you say softly. You’ve always adored the short walks with Jungkook, but maybe you weren’t the only one who felt that way. What kind of guy rejects a date just so he can keep up this year-old tradition between you and him? No guy has ever done anything close to that for you. “But yeah, it is our thing.”
The boy nods with a gentle smile as he sips his coffee. For just a split second, he gives you Jklmnop vibes. You don’t know how else to explain it. He’s a fuck boy, but there’s something so delicate about him that you want to touch without breaking.
You wonder if he’d ever let you in.
On the way out, your favorite friendly barista waves you over to the counter with a huge grin. As much as you love the girl, you’re scared of what might come out of her mouth next. She leans in as if to whisper but ends up shouting over the grinder in the background.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about him.” Her eyes flick to somewhere beyond your shoulders. “He’s such a hottie, by the way. Y’all are kinda cute together.”
A snort comes from right behind you. “Thank you,” says the hottie. Your hottie, apparently. It would’ve been perfectly fine for him to clarify that the two of you aren’t actually together, but you suppose his ego was too busy soaking in the compliment from the pretty barista.
“Really?” You raise an eyebrow at Jungkook as soon as you’re both out the door.
“What?” What’s with that playful smile of his?
“You didn’t deny what she said.”
“A compliment’s a compliment, Y/N.”
“I didn’t mean the part about you being a hottie.” You shudder at that last word. Yes, Jungkook is the hottest guy you’ve ever seen, but he doesn’t need to hear that from your mouth. “I meant the part about you being my boyfriend.”
“You didn’t deny it earlier, either,” he shrugs. True. “Besides, isn’t that also a compliment?”
Now that he’s mentioned it, it does feel pretty nice to be seen as a couple with someone as attractive as Jungkook—to give the illusion that it’s you who’s got him wrapped around your finger, you who he chose above everyone else, and you who gets to fall asleep in his arms every night. And it feels especially good considering how often other people dismiss you as someone not good enough for him. In fact, this is the first time anyone has ever acknowledged that the two of you go well together.
“Hey man, mind if I steal that fine little lady for a sec?” a sleazy voice calls out in your direction. You don’t bother turning your head to acknowledge the presence of yet another ignorant hooligan on the street, but you do step a little closer to Jungkook. You don’t know what pisses you off more: the fact that this stranger is another nonbeliever that you could be dating a guy like Jungkook or the fact that he asked for another male’s permission to talk to you instead of asking you directly. Most catcallers keep their mouths shut when you’re walking with your handsome coworker, but this one clearly can’t take a hint.
A warm hand pulls you in at the waist. It’s the same soft grip Jungkook held your book with. And you kind of never want him to let go. Because when he holds you close like that, all the shitty people become irrelevant. That doesn’t, however, stop you from getting a kick out of the death stare he gives the catcaller who finally backs off.
“You really showed him,” you tease. His face loosens up after you let out a tiny snicker. Still, he studies your every expression to make sure you’re alright.
“Does that happen to you wherever you go?” he asks as he moves his arm up from your waist to your shoulder, something slightly more appropriate for two friendly colleagues. Suddenly your waist feels cold.
“Usually when I’m out by myself.” Whether it’s the supermarket, the park, the office, you’ve felt objectified pretty much everywhere. Even online. The sad thing about it is that you know you’re not the only one. ”But I’m used to it at this point.”
“Well, men are kind of shitty,” he huffs, looking rather frustrated on your behalf. You’ve never seen him so irritated. For the most part, he knows how to keep a calm composure, even during busy season. It’s oddly satisfying that an inconvenience for you is what brought that emotion out of him.
“I used to think that,” you admit as the two of you enter the office building. “But all it takes is one good guy to outweigh the shitty ones.”
For you, Jungkook has always been that one good guy.
“True. I suppose that hottie boyfriend of yours isn’t that bad, huh.” He gives you a soft shoulder squeeze in the elevator before dropping his arm back to his side. It’s a subtle taste of what he could be doing to other places on your body if he were actually your boyfriend. He’d handle you with so much care.
“You won’t let that go, will you?” you pout, pointing your thumb back in the general direction of the coffee shop. “Those baristas really think we’re dating now, you know.”
He pinches your pouty cheek and leaves you at your desk with a not-so-innocent remark. 
“I wonder why they think that about us.”
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The second half of your day feels painfully long. It’s kind of hard to focus on designing wholesome character models when you’ve got Jeon Jungkook stuck in your head. At this rate, your cute little characters are going to turn into bad boys who steal your books and lattes along with your heart. You can’t help it when he’s been extra sweet to you lately. Sweeter than a birthday cake frappuccino could ever be. And just like your favorite sugary beverages, there’s something so addicting about his company.
As you’re finishing up some designs, you spot the boy chatting with his buddies from the other departments. It’s unfair that an entire friend group can be so goodlooking. And it’s even more unfair that Jungkook is still the one you can’t take your eyes off of in the handsome bunch. Great, now you’re even more distracted.
“Hey, I saw you were online again last night,” says the guy from accounting. He has long pretty eyelashes. “Where was my invite?”
“Ah, yeah. Remember that girl on our team the other night?” Jungkook has a cheeky grin. Why does he have such a cheeky grin while talking about some e-girl, and why does your tummy hurt all of a sudden? “She helped me climb out of plat. She’s diamond.”
So what? That’s the same rank as you. Nothing special. Hmph. You hope she gets demoted before the act ends. You’re not a jealous person, but you are petty.
“How do you know she’s a she?” asks the engineer with plump lips.
“That’s what she told me,” Jungkook continues. “And it fits with the fact that she doesn’t use a mic. You guys know how fucked up people can be in that game.”
You nod along to that.
“What’s her username again? I wanna add her now,” the other engineer jumps in. This one has broad shoulders. Very broad.
“You just want to hit on her,” Engineer #1 shakes his head at Engineer #2. You agree with that too.
“Is she single? Or at least around our age?” asks the accountant.
“You guys are monsters,” Jungkook laughs. “I’ll give you her username only if you promise not to simp.”
“Fine,” they all agree reluctantly.
You convince yourself that you’re only eavesdropping because they’re talking too loud, but you’re actually just curious to search up the username and see how this e-girl’s game stats stack up against yours. You’re quite confident your headshot percentage will outrank hers.
“It’s CL, remember?”
“Oh right.”
No, not right. That’s definitely not the username you picked as a subtle nod to your favorite author, and Jungkook is definitely not the lovesick fuck boy you’ve been giving advice to through some wack ass shooter game. Definitely not.
Because if it were true, that would mean Jungkook has a crush on somebody in your office. And who the heck would that be?
“Ready to head out?” Jungkook pops out of nowhere and scares the shit out of you. You nearly leap out of your seat with a tight fist around your tablet pen like you’re about to knife the boy in-game. He holds your book up as a shield. “Whoa there.”
“My bad, I thought you were the enemy.” You snap the pen back onto your tablet and say it with a straight face as if he knows you play the same violent game as him.
He plays along, scanning the office for anyone suspicious. “Who’s the enemy?”
“Marketing?” You only say that because everyone in the office knows the marketing director Kim Namjoon was your college nemesis back when you were even pettier than you are now.
“Ah,” he nods as you pack up and roll your chair in. You’ve always wondered why he just accepts the weird things you do without question. “Glad I’m not your enemy. Wouldn’t want to be stabbed by your tablet pen. Or your nails.”
He points to your pretty manicure. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he’s subtly asking to hold your hand. But you do know better. He has an intense crush on someone else in the building, so there’s really no reason why he’d want to hold your hand.
So instead of misreading the situation and making a fool of yourself by entwining your fingers with his, you poke your favorite of his tattoos (the silly face on his middle finger) with your acrylic. “Consider yourself stabbed.”
You try not to look at the boy’s wrinkly smile. But it’s incredibly hard. Instead, you redirect your eyes anywhere else. Of course they fall on the “it couple” of the office passing by. They don’t do a whole lot of PDA, but the way they look at each other says it all, and they have this glow about them that seems so unobtainable. You feel the envy creeping up again.
On the elevator ride down, you try not to think about the happy couple or Jungkook’s wrinkly smile. It’s making you sad.
“Can I ask you something?” he turns to you. Maybe his question will take your mind off everything bringing your mood down. You nod for him to proceed. “How do you feel about dating a coworker?”
Shitty. You feel shitty. He could probably sense that from your silence upon seeing the couple.
“You mean like Hyuna and Dawn?” You don’t have a problem with it, or with them. If you could pull off a perfect office romance like them, you’d do it too. But it doesn’t seem likely for you, and that’s what sucks.
“Just in general. Like, do you think it’s fine, or is it crossing the line?” he asks. Aha, you get it now. He’s asking for your opinion because he doesn’t want to make you, his totally platonic friend, feel uncomfortable when he starts dating whoever he has a crush on here.
“HR allows it, so I don’t really see a problem with it,” you answer honestly. Sure, you’d be hurt if you had to work in an environment where Jungkook is doing lovey-dovey things with someone else, but you’re not going to be the one to ruin it for him.
“I’ve never seen you date anyone here, though.”
“Well I don’t get asked out all the time like you, Jungkook.”
“What about Mark from accounting? Or my guy Jooheon before he moved overseas? And don’t get me started on Kim Namjoon.” He has his fingers out and ready to list all the other guys in the office who’ve expressed some sort of interest in you, but he decides against it when he sees you glaring back at him. Wise man.
You’d love to know why he’s so familiar with your nonexistent office dating history.
“Okay, I get it. I’ve been asked out a fair amount,” you sigh. “But it doesn’t really count if they aren’t the right person.”
That earns you a soft head tilt from the boy. You swear he’s a puppy. “Oh? Miss Y/N has a type?”
When you think about it, a few of the guys who’ve asked out were your type—smart, funny, hardworking—and yet you still said no. They’ve never hand-delivered meeting notes and chamomile tea when you were out sick, never walked you to your car, never given you something to look forward to at work, and never known your favorite animal. They’ve never made you want them the way you want a certain someone else.
“I wouldn’t exactly call it a type.” It’s a person. The person who makes you feel so safe and cared for. The person who has feelings for another girl. “It’s a little more complicated than that.”
You don’t like being vague, but saying any more than that would only set you up for heartbreak. He can’t hurt you if you stay silent.
As the elevator continues to count down, Jungkook leans against the railing, arms crossed and head down. He’s awfully quiet for someone who always feels the need to say something silly until you laugh.
“What if I told you there’s one more person in the office who’s interested in you?” he asks just before the elevator arrives on the first floor.
The door slides open but neither of you steps out, so it closes back up.
You blink at the boy. First you learn Jungkook has a crush on someone, and now someone suddenly has a crush on you? Your brain genuinely doesn’t know what to do with all this information.
You’d ask who your secret admirer is, but it doesn’t matter. You’d only say yes to one person in this office, and his feelings lie elsewhere. Maybe he’s just trying to set you up with another guy who can walk you to your car. It’s not like the two of you would be able to keep up that tradition once he’s committed to someone else.
You’d rather walk alone at that point.
“A workplace romance sounds cool and all.” You point at the book in Jungkook’s hand while trying to keep a light tone. “But it’s just not for me. You know what I mean?”
He nods with a chuckle as the two of you finally clear out of the elevator. “Based on my history here, it’s probably not for me either.”
You know he’s poking fun at himself, but you hope he doesn’t actually feel that way about himself. He still needs to ask his girl out, and he can’t chicken out now. As the person he’s confided in about his feelings, it’s your job to shower him with encouragement and support. You’ll have to wait until you’re back online, though.
On the way to your car, the office romance conversation has been completely dropped. You ramble on about your sudden craving for tacos, and he claims he makes a “mean taco salad” before sending you a screenshot of the recipe no one asked for. You’ll try it when you get home.
Like always, he leans against your car door as you buckle yourself in. This time, he even tugs on the seatbelt like amusement park workers do before sending you off on a roller coaster. As gentle as he is, it stings where the tips of his fingers graze your shoulder. That feeling lingers even after the door closes.
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Jungkook wasn’t lying, you think to yourself as you munch away at his definition of a “mean taco salad.” Your first instinct is to text him about it, but your second one is to silence your phone and cozy up for the night. After your shower, you have another staredown with the pretty lingerie set. At this rate, no one’s going to see you in it, so you might as well wear it and look cute for yourself. 
It’s a little more see-through than you’re normally comfortable with, but the soft silky champagne accents make your body glow. To complete the look, you throw on a short skimpy robe with a baby pink floral pattern. Perhaps you’re being extra for a quiet night in with your cat and a cup of chamomile tea. But it’s what you need right now because you’re desperately searching for something to comfort and distract you from that dang feeling Jungkook left you with. 
It also couldn’t hurt to play a few games without Jklmnop. Maybe you’ll get lucky with the whale shark gun today.
Unfortunately, there’s still no whale shark gun in your shop, but at least Jungkook isn’t online yet. The four games you play without him go really well stat-wise. You’re the team MVP for half those games—something you hadn’t achieved all weekend with Jklmnop on your team. He’s a great friend but the kind of ally who will intentionally blind you so he can make you quake in your boots and steal your kill in the process. He’s lucky he hasn’t let you die while fucking around like that. Still, you can’t remember the last time you had that much fun in your matches.
As you review the summary of game #4, a notification pops up in the top corner of your screen.
[Jklmnop is online!]
“wanna carry me to radiant?” he DMs you right away and sends you an invite.
“no,” you type as you join his party.
“what if i trade you my whale shark gun?”
“fine”
The first thing you do when you spawn into the match is demand the whale shark gun. You put your baseball bat to his head, waiting for him to keep his end of the bargain. The boy drops the gun in front of you and backs away slowly.
“It’s cute that you like that skin so much,” he chuckles into his mic. When you hear his voice, you feel like an idiot for convincing yourself that Jklmnop and Jeon Jungkook weren’t the same person. There’s no mistaking that that’s the calm and flirty voice that has haunted you every day at work for the past year. Does it make you an asshole for wholeheartedly believing your local fuck boy friend wasn’t capable of developing real feelings for someone in the office? Probably, but you intend on redeeming yourself by sending him your full support in the love department. You’re just waiting for him to bring it up.
Twenty kills and one stolen ace later, Jungkook still hasn’t said anything about the mysterious You-know-who—which is weird, considering he wouldn’t shut up all weekend about how she’s “soft like a kitten” but “one that won’t hesitate to bring the claws out.” Who is this girl, and what has she done to Jungkook? He’s become a total cheeseball. And you can’t think of a single person in the office who fits his cheesy description.
“any update on youknowwho about youknowwhat?” you type between rounds.
Jungkook’s character paces back and forth in the snow even after the round begins. The three other members of your team starts following him like ducklings without knowing the context. You watch from afar as they get sniped down one by one until you’re the last one alive.
Usually in 1v5 situations like this, you’re great at keeping your cool and isolating your duels so you aren’t overwhelmed by an ambush. But instead of listening for footsteps and directional cues, you’re listening hard for the boy’s response to your question.
“Clutch this and I’ll give you an update on You-know-who,” he says after you cut the enemy team’s numbers down to one. All you have to do now is plant the bomb and wait for the last person to come out to start defusing. That’s when you’ll swoop in and—
Your character falls face first into the snow. You’ve been knifed from behind, which loses you the round but earns you an evil snicker from Jungkook.
At the start of the next round, you wait once more for the boy to trade his gun with you. But instead, he just stands there, clutching onto the weapon while the rest of the team rushes onto the site to plant the bomb.
“I’ve decided not to ask her out,” he says out of nowhere. “We have this wholesome thing between us, and it’s best if we keep it that way.”
“what makes you say that?” you type before joining up with the others on site. As far as you know, Jungkook isn’t wholesome with any coworker. Except you, maybe. He must have some other strange definition of wholesome.
“Let’s just say I read a whole ass book tonight about a workplace romance and realized I’m not cut out for it.” He really read your book. No. He devoured it. Why does that mean the absolute world to you? “She’s seen me going on date after date, and now I’m pretty sure I’ve scared her away from wanting any part of that.”
He’s not wrong. You used to feel the same way about him, so you understand why he has his reservations. But if that girl knew how much he’d cherish their relationship the way he cherishes your friendship with him, you know she’d fall for him too. There’s no doubt in your mind about that. It’s just a matter of him vocalizing it.
“i still think you should be upfront with her about your feelings,” you type away as you get headshot from who knows where. 
“She can’t hurt me if I stay silent,” Jungkook hums as he runs toward the ticking bomb and crouches in front of it. It looks like he’s trying to defuse the bomb that your own team planted, but it explodes in his face before you have time to correct him.
“gj,” one of your teammates puts in the chat even though everyone watching knows it was not a “good job.” The only silver lining is that he secured the win for your team. You don’t feel like playing anymore, anyway.
Before you log off for the night, you start typing out some long motivational speech along with your top ten reasons as to why Jungkook would make an excellent boyfriend. He’d try new things with you, share some of his favorite things with you, make sure you’re safe, and tease you until the end of time while making you feel so so loved. You know this because it’s what he’s done with you for the past year. But the more you think about it, the more you realize it’s not your place to say all of that from behind a screen with your mic on mute.
You end up deleting your whole spiel and settle for a simple “good night😴” to the boy from your gaming account. Then you get back on your phone.
Y/N🦈 [11:47PM] “It was indeed a mean taco salad”
Y/N🦈 [11:47PM] “Btw did you finish the book?👀”
Jungkook🥴 [11:48PM] “Finished it in 4 hours😌”
Y/N🦈 [11:49PM] “Wanna drop it off to me now?”
Jungkook🥴 [11:49PM] “Now?”
Jungkook🥴 [11:50PM] “Isn’t it past your bedtime?”
Y/N🦈 [11:51PM] “Yes but my cat can’t fall asleep without his bedtime story”
Y/N🦈 [11:51PM] “🥺”
Y/N🦈 [11:51PM] “^^^My cat”
Jungkook🥴 [11:54PM] “omw”
The boy knocks on your door a few minutes later and does a horrible job of keeping his eyes above shoulder level. It doesn’t occur to you that your chest and ass are hanging out of your robe until the chilly air hits those spots.
“All dressed up for your night with Lauren Christina?” he says casually, handing the book back to you in mint condition.
“I thought you said Christina Lauren doesn’t care about my lingerie.” You cross your arms over your chest like it was totally intentional to answer the door in the bare minimum. Jungkook’s sleepwear, on the other hand, looks super cozy. And of fucking course he’s hot as hell in something as simple as sweats and a hoodie. A boy like him doesn’t have to put in any thought or effort to look cute.
“I stand by what I said.” He stares at your exposed skin in an almost lustful manner. Almost. “It’s cold out. You should go crawl back in bed and read your cat his bedtime story. Or do you need me to tuck him in, too?”
“He is quite needy,” you play along. Too bad he’s already fast asleep, all curled up on the couch. You wouldn’t mind if Jungkook tucked you in, though.
“Well tell your needy cat I said goodnight.” He takes a step back toward his car, but you know he must realize you didn’t call him all the way over here just for your cat’s sake.
“Jungkook,” you call out while flipping through the book. Once you find the bookmark wedged in the middle, you extend it to him like a peace offering.
He accepts the bookmark albeit with a puzzled expression. “Is this gratuity for delivering your book at this late hour?”
You shake your head. “It’s gratuity for lending me your whale shark gun all the time.”
“Whale shark gun?” He grips the bookmark by the dorsal fin and holds it like a pistol. It’s aimed at your left breast (or heart) (but breast sounds more accurate).
“The one from the Gentle Giants collection,” you say softly as you rub your arms because holy shit is it cold out. “In Valoranch.”
The wheels in his head start to turn as you pull him inside and toward your “work from home” setup in the living room. Your desk is pretty empty aside from the pastel headset, the cute dolphin Pokémon on your desktop wallpaper, and a cold cup of tea. 
Then he spots the little Valoranch shortcut on the far left corner of your screen. “Wait, you really play Valoranch? What’s your username?”
Instead of telling him, you show him with the help of your book. Your index finger slides across the bookcover from the C in Christina to the L in Lauren.
His eyes widen like a naughty cat caught doing something it shouldn’t be doing.
“Then that means you know about…” He pauses because he dare not repeat his feelings for another coworker in front of you.
You nod. “But I didn’t realize it was you until I overheard you talking about it with the guys earlier today.”
“My voice and backstory didn’t give it away?” 
“It definitely sounded like you.” You plop into your chair and start spinning around so he can’t get a clear view of your face. “But how was I supposed to know you had feelings for someone in our office? I still don’t know who she is, by the way.”
“You don’t?” Your childlike spins are interrupted by a steady hand. From the corner of your eye, you can see the boy’s face transition from doomed to amused. Good. He shouldn’t beat himself up over the bizarre situation.
“Nope.” At least you don’t have a specific face to imagine being next to Jungkook’s on those corny holiday cards that couples and families love to hand out around the office this time of year. “Regardless, you need to stop chickening out and just tell her how you feel already. If she knows you the way I know you, I promise you have nothing to worry about.”
The thing is, you don’t know if anyone else has been on the receiving end of the kinds of things Jungkook does for you. Does he show that side to anyone else but you?
“Fine, you’ve convinced me. I’ll do it.” He sits himself down beside the cat on the couch. “But only if you can figure out who it is.”
You give him a tiny nod for him to drop some hints. Of course you’ll lend an ear and play along if that’s what it takes for him to be more open about his feelings. Besides, you can’t say no when his voice is so soft and fragile like that. 
“She’s on the design team.” Your team is fairly small, so that narrows it down to names and faces you’d actually recognize.
“She has the most complex coffee order I’ve ever seen.” More complex than yours?
“I impulse-bought that whale shark gun because it reminds me of her.” Someone else has good taste in endangered marine life.
“My second job includes walking her to her car after work and pretending to be her hottie boyfriend.” Wait.
“And lastly, in case all of those other hints weren’t obvious enough, she has a needy cat who’s obsessed with Christina Lauren.” He strokes between your needy kitty’s ears and tucks the little guy in under a blanket. What a lucky cat. 
Jungkook only stops with the wholesome shit when you climb into his lap and press your lips into his jawline. On instinct, he slips beneath your robe and grabs you at the waist with those gentle hands of his. He smells of cardamom and cedarwood, like the candle you burn on cold nights when fluffy blankets aren’t enough. And like a moth, you’re attracted to the light and warmth he radiates in the dimness of your home. Even if it means you might get burned.
“Congratulations, you finally got the name right.” You stick your tongue out while your nails comb their way through the locks of hair at the back of his neck. He locks eyes with you, leaning ever so slightly into the massage the way cats do when they need more attention.
And then your lips meet his. You expect the guy who’s locked lips with everyone in the office to get straight to the point and not hold back, but that isn’t the case. What he gives you instead is a soft graze, an affectionate tease. When you try to go in for another taste, he pulls back and lets you chase him. You’d love nothing more than to wipe that smirk off his face with another kiss.
“I thought you said you weren’t down to date a coworker?” Smartass. You wouldn’t be sitting on top of his cock if you weren’t down to be more intimate with him.
“That only applies to everyone except you.” Your robe slides off your shoulder as you poke him in the chest. Funny how you aren’t cold anymore.
“What makes me so special?” he asks while getting a sneak peek of the pretty lingerie you’d secretly hoped he’d see on you.
You think about all the little things he does—he walks with you, reads your book recommendations, takes note of your favorite animals and coffee shops. And he never expects anything in return, including your feelings apparently. He just wants to make sure you feel seen and know he always has your back. When he’s too chicken to be upfront about his feelings, you’ve come to realize this is his love language. 
“You might be open about all the sleeping around you do with other people, but the subtle thoughtful things you do just for me don’t go unnoticed.” You run your fingers along his cheek and bring your lips within striking distance from his. This time, he doesn’t initiate another chase and allows you to press your words into his mouth. “Plus I think it’s really cute that you use the whale shark skin in-game because of me.”
“That’s when I knew I was down bad.” The sound he makes is somewhere between a chuckle and an embarrassed sigh. “I didn’t even know you played that game and yet my mind was still finding ways to connect everything back to you and your little quirks.”
“I knew I was down bad when I installed that game after hearing you raging about it with the boys,” you blurt out of nowhere.
“You did what, Y/N?”
“I started playing that headache of a game because of you, okay? I wholeheartedly believed I was taking that secret to the grave, but now it stays between you and me. Got it?” Your face feels hot, but you aren’t complaining.
“Yes, ma’am.” His teasing grin will never get old, and you love that about him.
In the heat of another kiss, you feel Jungkook tug on the silky sash at your waist. Your robe opens up like curtains being drawn for a grand reveal. Exposed as you are, there’s no need to hide anymore. In fact, you’d be more than down to have sex out in the open on the couch, but you also have to consider the innocent kitten sleeping next to you.
Like the considerate boy he is, Jungkook scoops you up without disturbing the cat and makes his way to your bedroom.
He lays you down on the bed and eyes your body from head to toe. If he wasn’t giving you horny eyes when you greeted him at the door, he definitely is now.
“Am I gonna get you in trouble for keeping you up past your bedtime?” He saves time by tearing his hoodie and t-shirt off in one go. Based on those abs, you suppose working out is another one of his favorite pastimes alongside sex, gaming, and fucking around with you.
“No.” You reach for his body and pull him on top of you. The large bulge tucked away in his sweatpants catches your attention. “But I might be a little sore for tomorrow.”
“Oh? Is that how you like it?” He rubs two fingers against the thin fabric between your legs to test the waters. Your body shudders and tenses up from the tiniest of touches. Given the dry spell you’ve suffered through this year, you know it won’t take much for you to lose it. “Sure you can handle it?”
“Try me.” You push back with your tongue in his mouth and help him out of his sweats. You’re one swipe away from clawing his boxers off, but he grabs ahold of your wrists and pins you against the pillows.
“Someone’s awfully eager,” he says as he leaves a trail of kisses from your neck to your breasts. You squirm under his hot breath, asking for more contact—anywhere on your body will do.
“Yeah, well, we do have another meeting bright and early tomorrow morning, and it’d look bad if we both fell asleep during it because we were up all night having—” Your rambling is interrupted by the boy’s cock staring you down. He tears open a square packet, but you swipe it away and slide it down his length. You don’t mind a bit of rubber if it gives you an excuse to get your paws on him.
In return, he helps you wiggle out of your teeny tiny thong and bra. His hands waste no time in squeezing your breasts and fingering you down below to make sure you’re wet enough. (Spoiler alert: You most definitely are.)
As big as he is, he slides in with relative ease thanks to how desperately you need him inside you. He fills you in perfectly, too, reaffirming the fact that you and him are perfect for one another. Fuck everyone who thinks otherwise.
You dig your long nails into his arms as he moves in and out of you. If he keeps going harder with every thrust, you’re gonna have a difficult time holding on.
“I swear your nails are like cat claws,” he grunts into your ear but makes no actual effort to extract your nails from his arms.
“If I recall correctly, you did refer to me as a soft kitten who isn’t afraid to bring her claws out,” you hum up at him.
“Hey, let’s not talk about all the sappy things I said in-game right now.” There’s a hint of poutiness in his otherwise raspy bedroom voice. As punishment for teasing him, he flips you over onto your knees to give him the best view of your ass. “You weren’t supposed to hear that stuff.”
“Tell me something I’m supposed to hear,” you challenge him as he gives your ass a good squeeze. His fingers dip back between your legs and circle your clit a few times. You body rubs back on instinct like a horny pup against a toy.
“I would like to formally ask you out,” he says with his hands at your hips and his cock back inside you. "Will you go out with me?"
“You're a little late, buddy, but yes, I’ll go out with you,” you chuckle until your orgasm sneaks up on you and hits you like a truck. The moans you let out are probably loud enough to wake the cat, but that just means the two of you will have to relocate the next time you have sex. Perhaps his place or the office breakroom might be worth considering. 
Your arms give out as you tighten around him, so you lower your face to the pillow and let the boy do as he pleases to your body to get his release. After a few more strong thrusts, he gasps your name out in pleasure and pulls out of you. You give him a good ten seconds to catch his breath before you smother him with a million kisses.
You take a glance at the time on your phone. It’s getting awfully late, and you do have that meeting in the morning, but the two of you have a few options:
A) Cuddle in bed and go to sleep like normal 9-5ers.
B) Hop online and play a few games together because your computer’s still on.
C) Go another round and make a special coffee run before the meeting.
None of those options sound like a bad idea when you’ve got Jeon Jungkook to do them with. All he has to do is say the word and you're down.
4K notes · View notes
kitten4sannie · 6 months
Note
Omg congrats on 3k!! I'm so happy for you lovie!!🩷🩷🩷 So this is my first time requesting anything lol so bare with me 🥲 I'd love to see maybe a mean vampire seonghwa? Like mean dom? With all the filth you can add in! Like go crazy lol Again, congrats on 3k!! You deserve all the love and appreciation you get!🩷
🧋🩷
tysmm genesis !! that means a lot coming from you mwah >< <33 omg i’m so happy i can write your first ever request!! mmm filthy mean dom vamp hwa… yes yes, that’s something i can do~ i’ll def go crazyy (go stupid) don’t you worry about that hehe and i alsooo added san in there bc i’m weak kksjs ;;; i hope you enjoy my love 💞
⛧ seance smutfest ⛧
pairing: vampire lord! seonghwa x concubine! fem reader x vampire butler! san
w.c: 2.6k
warnings: mean dom! seonghwa (man’s a psycho fr), mean dom! san (follows his master’s lead <3), bratty sub! reader that fucks around and finds out, threesome elements, light mxm, sir kink, possessiveness, exhibitionism/voyeurism, manhandling, blood play, blood drinking (girlie needs a blood transfusion stat ^^’), biting/marking, pet names/name calling, praise/degradation, dacryphilia, face/pussy slapping, choking, oral (receiving), fingering, brief tit play, hair pulling, overstim, masturbation, cowgirl, creampies, back shots, cum eating
Masterlist
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“Pssst,” your roommate murmured, reaching over to gently tug on your nightgown, wanting you to get closer so that you could hear her over the loud, overlapping chatter of the other individuals in your shared bedroom. “Who do you think Lord Park will pick tonight?”
You scooted closer to her, eventually shrugging your shoulders. “Depends on what mood he’s in.” 
She shuddered. “I hope he’s not hungry…” 
You bit your bottom lip slightly, unconsciously patting the girl’s thigh. “Me and you both.” 
She sucked her teeth, about to reply when a soft, though deliberate knocking sound interrupted her, followed by the distinct creaking of the centuries-old door opening just enough for you to see the castle’s chief of staff, Choi San, standing there with a candle in hand. 
“Good evening, ladies,” he announced, bowing at the waist, acknowledging a few of your roommate’s replies. “Miss Y/N,” the youthful man addressed you with his usual warm, dimpled smile, idly resting his gloved hand against his coat’s lapel. “Your presence is requested in the Headmaster’s bedroom.” 
The once lively room of concubines quieted down, their attention centered on you, a few of them swallowing nervously, despite not even being chosen themselves. 
“Oh…right now?” you asked dumbly, playing with one of the ribbons on your nightgown. 
The man nodded, taking a step back into the extravagant, dimly lit hallway. “Right now, I’m afraid.” 
The girl near you patted your thigh just as you had done to her, making you wonder if she was trying to comfort you or was simply sorry for what you were about to endure at the hands of the Headmaster. 
You followed San out into the hallway and began your journey to the grand master bedroom, requiring you to walk down the oddly long corridor and up a velvet trimmed staircase complete with a large painting of a strikingly handsome, forlorn man sitting at the very top, staring you down as you made your way up to it.  
“San…” you began, turning to look up at the young vampire, his sharp features illuminated by the melting candle he held inside his gloved hand. “Is the Headmaster…” You bit your lip again, your pulse quickening. “…hungry?” 
San’s dark eyes twinkled for a second, before turning into crescent moons, his lips twitching upwards, exposing his elongated fangs. “Oh, Miss Y/N,” he tsked, doing a scan over your body so quickly it almost seemed to happen in your imagination. “You should know by now that Lord Park is always quite famished.” 
-
Seonghwa stood near his bedroom window, gazing out of it as if he were in a trance, his crimson eyes focused on the enormous, glowing moon that sat just above the dark forest below, almost appearing as though it were about to drop out of the sky at any second and destroy everything in its wake. When he heard a knock on one of his grand bedroom doors, he turned around. “Enter.”
“Pardon for the intrusion, my lord, but I’ve come to deliver your entertainment for the night.” San placed a hand on your back, coaxing you into the room. 
“Entertainment?” Seonghwa chuckled lightly, taking a few strides in your direction only to tower over you, reaching down to run his fingers through your hair. “I think you meant my meal, did you not?”
“I’d like to see you try,” you muttered, swatting his hand away, making the vampire let out a low growl. 
“Dinner and a show, sir,” San corrected himself, giving his Master a small amused smile, about to take his leave when Seonghwa snapped his fingers. 
“One that you’ll be the audience for, San.” Quite pleased with himself, Seonghwa grabbed you by the waist and tossed you like a ragdoll onto the bed behind him before you could protest. “Now, sit over there–” He snapped his fingers at San, as he climbed onto you, pinning your flailing arms above your head with ease, smiling at the other vampire. “–and look pretty.” 
“Yes, my lord,” San obliged, his dimples on display, sitting down in the large mahogany chair that was positioned near the edge of the bed and smoothing out his tailored coat. He smiled keenly at the sight and smell of your arousal now that Seonghwa’s hand was wrapped around your throat with his thigh shoved in between your legs, your nightgown already torn from your body and tossed onto the carpet below. 
“Will you do me a favor and cum so we can get this over with, my lord?” you said as unamused as you could with cold fingers pressing into your throat, blinking up at the stern vampire hovering above you, your brain feeling delightfully dizzy. 
Seonghwa leaned in towards you and inhaled the scent of your pleasure, enjoying the way he could feel your pulse racing against his fingers. “Looks like I have to break you all over again, don’t I, sweet thing?” he announced, feeling your heated body shiver against his when he began to grind his knee against your bare cunt, delighted with the slick sounds it was already producing. “You always give me problems, but you love this, don’t you? Getting treated like a little doll made only for me? Just makes you want to cum, doesn’t it?” 
You felt Seonghwa’s fingers squeeze tighter around your throat, the deliberate rubbing of his thigh against your exposed clit making it hard for you to think straight. “I’m dryer than ever. There’s no way you’re–aaah–making me cum.”
“Oh, yeah? Watch me,” he whispered against your ear, shifting his fingers downwards just enough to sink his needle-sharp fangs into your neck, slowly gulping down your hot, coursing blood, his hand now cupped against your slippery cunt, your swollen clit rubbing relentlessly against the rough palm of his hand until you inevitably fell apart. Once you went limp underneath him, Seonghwa began to lick at the fresh bite marks he left with his forked tongue, chuckling at the small, withdrawn whimpers you let out when he reeled his hand back and smacked it against your cunt. “Hurts so good, doesn’t it?” 
“How does she taste, sir?” San interjected softly, already palming at the growing tent that sat uncomfortably inside his buttoned, tailored pants. 
“Delicious as always.” Licking his teeth, Seonghwa slowly climbed off of you and instead positioned you so that you were in his lap with your back to his chest near the edge of the bed, directly facing San. “On your knees, San.” 
Within seconds, San was on his knees before the two of you, watering at the mouth. “Now what, sir?” 
Seonghwa, who had his mouth latched back onto your neck and his hands exploring the expanse of your naked body, spit the blood out onto you, the three of you watching the crimson careen along your tits and down your middle, until it pooled near your pelvis, dripping onto your throbbing cunt. He bared his fangs at San, whose sharpened eyes were glowing brightly inside the dimly-lit room. “Lick.” 
As soon as he got permission, San dove straight into your pussy, lapping at it like it was his life’s mission, collecting the beads of blood in his mouth, along with your wetness when he sucked at your folds and clit, spitting the mess of blood and arousal back onto your cunt, before slurping it all up again. 
“Fuck,” you moaned, gripping San’s hair with one hand, encouraging the vampire to shove his tongue into your fluttering hole. You leaned your head back into Seonghwa’s chest, mindlessly grinding your cunt against San’s already messy mouth, your brain and body feeling too fuzzy to focus on anything. 
“What a little filthy whore you are,” Seonghwa sighed onto your skin, one hand closing around your blood-covered tit to play with it, the other sliding down the middle of your abdomen until his fingers began to rub your clit in tight circles. “So willing to disobey, but so eager to feel pleasure, even from my own personal advisor. What am I going to do with you?” 
You turned your head to look at him, answering snarkily, “Make me cum already.” 
“I’ll make you cum, don’t you worry, slut.” Seonghwa bit at your earlobe, sending a few sudden harsh smacks to your clit, rubbing your stinging cunt afterwards, but being careful not to intercept San’s swiping tongue. 
It didn’t take long before you were tugging at San’s dark locks and writhing around against Seonghwa’s body, taking a few more smacks to your swollen clit, making you cry out involuntarily. 
“Well, would you look at that?” Seonghwa beamed to himself, licking up your release from his fingers. “How does the little whore’s cum taste?” 
“Delicious,” San sighed, once he was done drinking up your arousal, licking up your cunt once again, this time continuing upwards to gather the rest of the blood that Seonghwa had spit out onto your body, eventually settling near your chest, taking turns shoving your tits into his mouth. 
With his own mouth back on your neck, idly drinking more of your blood, and his fingers still rubbing at your clit, Seonghwa reached around your body to tightly grip San’s hair with his free hand, holding his head still so that he could watch San lick and suck on one of your spit-covered tits, making him groan. “Fuck her with your fingers, San.”
“Right away, sir.” Drool fell from San’s mouth as he pulled away from your chest, eagerly shoving two thick fingers inside your cunt, scissoring them apart just to hear you whine, before steadily fucking you with them.
“Now, stretch her open so I can fit my cock inside.”Seonghwa ran his closed hand up and down his slick cock, looking over your shoulder to watch as your hole swallowed up San’s ring finger.
The feeling of being filled and Seonghwa’s words alone made you tumble over the edge, causing you to toss your head back into Seonghwa’s chest and cry out. 
San grunted, thrusting his digits up into you a few more times, your abundant wetness dripping down his veiny forearm and breathless moans leaving him with a satisfied smirk. “She’s ready for you, my lord.” 
Whining at the sudden emptiness inside due to San pulling his fingers out, you were instantly gratified when Seonghwa lifted your hips up from behind and brought you down onto him, your cunt swallowing up his large cock inch by inch. “Oh, fuck–”
“God, you always take me so well,” the vampire praised, only waiting until he bottomed out to aggressively snap his hips up into you, forcing you to bounce on his cock, punching short, airy moans out of you with each thrust. “That’s it, that’s it. You’re my perfect little cocksleeve, darling. Fuck, just for me.” 
The blood loss mixed with the relentless pleasure completely took over your mind and body at this point, leaving you in a fog. You wouldn’t come back to reality until Seonghwa sent a quick slap to your cheek, urging you to blow a few strands of wet hair out of your line of sight, gazing down at the grunting vampire below you, his fingers now rubbing over your stinging skin. 
“Now, now, don’t pass out on me yet, darling,” Seonghwa urged breathlessly, admiring the way you looked on top of him with your nails digging into the flesh of his chest, his hands cemented on your bruising waist, drilling up into your cunt, hitting your g-spot dead on. “I still have more cum to fill you with.” 
When more and more spurts of hot, milky liquid coated your inner walls for the nth time, your body felt so incredibly full, so intensely hot that you came again, so hard that you had fallen back into the other vampire’s chest, his soft, wet hair tickling the side of your cheek. 
“How many times was that, San? How many times did I make this poor slut cum?” Seonghwa playfully questioned the young man, who was positioned behind you, with his pulsing cock grinding against your ass, currently leaving a few more splashes of cum on your slick skin. 
“More times than I can count, sir,” San answered, out of breath, resting his chilled body against your overheated one. 
“You hear that, doll? Even my most trusted advisor can’t keep up with the amount of times I’ve made you fall apart on my cock.” Without gaining a response from you, the vampire smacked his hand down against your reddened, used cunt, a few dribbles of cum leaking out down your inner thighs. “Aww, look at you. Poor fucked-out slut can’t even form words anymore.”  
“T-too much,” you barely got out with the last of your energy, a tear or two escaping your half-closed eyes, dripping down your flushed cheeks.  
Seonghwa scoffed, pressing his thumb roughly against your clit, rubbing it so quickly, your body began to shake. “Oh, is that so? Feels so good, you’re crying for us, hmm?” 
“Uh-huh.” You nodded your head, sniffling, too blinded by pleasure to be bratty anymore. “It’s all your fault.”
Seonghwa suddenly sat up from his lying position, instead pulling you more into his lap, his cock now thrusting so deep inside you, you were convinced you might actually break. “You asked for this,” he huffed out near your face, taking a second to lick up one of your tears, squeezing and rubbing your puffy clit between two fingers so roughly it sent intense bolts of pleasure through your body. “–so you’re going to take it like the good whore you are, yeah?” 
“Yes, sir,” you gasped out, your voice and body quivering from how hard you were cumming, suddenly getting your hair tugged back by San, his fingers gripping your chin, feeling his snake-like tongue cascade over your face. He licked up each salty tear that left your tired eyes. 
“You’re so pretty when you cry, Miss Y/N…” He pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, pleased with the sounds that left your drooling mouth while Seonghwa filled you up with yet another load.
“That’s it, this pussy’s stuffed so full for me now. I bet everyone in the castle will know you’re my own personal cumslut, won’t they?” Seonghwa exhaled, a few thick beads of his cum leaking down the sides of his cock as he pulled out just to watch your hole flutter uselessly around nothing, having to grip his cock and guide it back inside due to how slippery the mess he had made was. “It’s going to be dripping out of you for so long, darling. But, don’t worry, I’ll always be here to fuck it right back in.”
You nodded your head weakly, accepting his fingers into your mouth after he reached down in between your messy bodies, tasting his salty release on his digits, his cock still pulsing inside your hot, cum-filled cunt.
San slowly zeroed in on the way the vampire’s split tongue lapped up the remnants of blood that decorated your bruising, bite-mark ridden neck, asking breathily, “May I have another taste soon, my lord?”
“Of course you may. There’s quite enough for the two of us.” He took your chin in his grip, pressing a kiss against your cheek, just near your mouth, pressing his thumb lightly onto your bottom lip. “Isn’t there, sweet thing?” 
“But,” you murmured, giving him puppy-dog eyes, your hand resting over his. “I’ve been good.” 
Chuckling lightly, Seonghwa leaned in to give you a chaste kiss, leaving you with a taste of iron, before gently nipping at your bottom lip with his fangs. “Oh, darling.” 
Just when you thought he had some warmth left inside his frozen heart, his pupils formed into slits, his voice lowering just enough to send a chill up your spine. “You really thought you would get away just because you finally decided to obey me? Don’t be daft.” 
Biting your lip enough to break the skin, you looked at him in silence, fear and arousal coursing through your body as Seonghwa moved down to your neck, hardly reacting when his fangs pierced into you once again, leaving a fiery, burning sensation in its wake. 
San watched delightedly from beside you with his hand eagerly stroking his cock, his smile reminiscent of the Cheshire cat’s, knowing the fun they were having was far from over. 
Seonghwa pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, your blood slowly dripping past his plump lips and down his chin. He gave you a soft, gentle smile, one that almost eased your rapid heartbeat until he reminded you of your fate yet again, his smile growing wider, his once shiny white teeth now stained with your life source. “I won’t stop until I have all of you, my dear…mind, body, and soul.”
You lowered your head down onto Seonghwa’s shoulder, blocking out the two salacious vampires for a moment in order to realize the extent of your pleasurable predicament. One thing was for certain — you were going to be devoured that night.
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