#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.

[makotonaegiunderstander]

something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

#makoto naegi #Danganronpa character analysis #Danganronpa #danganronpa thh #danganronpa future arc #I fucking love Makoto Naegi man. #I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known #he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said #he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky #he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did #if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world. #he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done #and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend. #I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though #post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do #it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to #and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc #he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions #I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse #and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate #and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable. #honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually #I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself #that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels #it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it #it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic #anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for #the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!

[simplyoriginalcharacters]

(Full profile and critique under the cut! -Kyo)

Name: Mora Ridley

Gender: Female

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Age: 27

Occupation: Stall Vendor and Necromancer

Quirk: (For a quick explanation, in my original story that Mora is based in, it’s almost commonplace for people to have ‘Quirks’ which provide humans with a small power, but this is a trait that only some humans have evolved to have, so it’s sort of like the human species is split between those carrying the genes with the ability to produce a quirk, those who have quirks and those who don’t. Not having a quirk isn’t a disadvantage, really, because most quirks are little things that just sort of help people out in their day-to-day lives rather than anything like a significant superpower. They can help in some professions, but that’s about as far as any advantage goes.) Mora’s quirk is one of the strands of Necromancy (there’s a few different strands of each quirk) In which she can communicate with those who have died, and borrow things from them that they had with them upon death, or that were buried with them. She’s able to recall people to her little section of 'limbo’ at any time once she’s met them after death. She uses this quirk as a part of her main job, where people hire her to talk to loved ones for them, borrow things that others still living need, relay important messages, or sometimes give crime reports when a victim or perpetrator has died to provide with evidence she couldn’t have received before. 

Appearance: Mora’s of about average height, at 5'8", with a pretty lean body type, caucasian, with bright tangles of orange hair to one side, the other half of her head shaven. She wears shirts with only long sleeves due to her rather interesting prosthetic limb (made up of the bones of different creatures, which was created for her by a fellow necromancer) And always has her scarf on her somewhere, whether around her neck, in her pocket or around her waist, she always has it. 

Personality: Mora is a smooth talker, who’s great at diverting attention away from anything she doesn’t want to focus on. She’s a subtle control freak who prefers the company of dead people over those who are still within the land of the living. She can be quite envious of those around her who are more successful in the same field, and tends to get competitive, wanting to reach that same level to the best of her abilities. When given a task she won’t stop until it is completed, and doesn’t always think before she does things, whether out of stubbornness and her tendency to be a lone wolf and do things her way, or just because she knows she needs to get something done. Despite her other more abrasive qualities, Mora is quite compassionate towards those who are going through difficult times, knowing what it’s like. She talks as if she’s an open book but hides a lot more than what first meets the eye.

Motivations: Mora is driven when she has motivations, but until the plot of the story begins, she finds herself stuck without any big current motivations. She runs a small business along one of the street stores, but most of her wares are mere trinkets in comparison to the grandeur items and services other vendors sell. Her only motivations there is to get any extra cash she can that she’s saving to move from the city she lives in. The part of the city she lives in isn’t especially spectacular, in her mind, and her main service, through using her necromantic powers, would be more widely needed (or perhaps wanted) in places where there are more people. Despite this being a dream of hers, she doesn’t see it happening due to being knee deep in debt after debt, trying to keep up with payments with her two jobs (which she’s barely doing). Until the ball starts rolling with the plot and she’s put in a position where those motivations almost forcefully become a reality does she get to really set her mind to things. Until then she’s just meandering through life.

Best Quality: While she’d say her best quality is her ability to get out of situations easily with her smooth talking charm, her greatest quality is her compassion. She gets it when people say they’re doing it rough, and she’ll do what she can to help. Her entire job of Necromancy revolves around providing people with closure, after all.

Worst Quality: Stubborn and is absolutely adamant on doing things by her own and on her own terms. She hates being told how to do things, and has a bit of a 'I work alone’ mentality if ever she comes across someone who wants to help her. 

Greatest Fear: Having anything out of her control. Part of her stubbornness and 'i work alone’ mentality is from her fear of losing any control she has over a situation, and is also why she tends to have more friends that are dead than those that are alive. She has control over who she sees and meets, where they are, and if she wants to leave she can do so at any time. Her financial instability affects her really horribly because of this, as she feels out of control of her situation thanks to this.

Backstory:  Mora has lived in a small, quiet city for most her life, raised by her single mother after her father left the pair thanks to the birth defect that was her being born without a left arm. The fact never truly bothered her until pre-teendom, mostly due to her becoming more aware of the reason her father stayed away from them most her childhood. It was when she was 12 that her mother and her met a necromancer who specialised in creating animated objects out of bones. He fashioned her an arm made from what he assured were 'The strongest and bravest bones he could find’ but she was pretty sure half of them were cat bones. Besides her disability and the absence of her father (that was likely a blessing in disguise), her life had always been pretty normal. Her mother was hardworking and the bond the pair shared was unbreakable. Nowadays, when Mora lives on her own at age 27, she still keeps in regular contact with her mother, though also tends to keep secret her money problems. 

(So heya! This is one of my characters for my original novel I’m trying to start up. I’m hoping to send a couple more in for critique also but Mora’s the most fleshed out character I have thus far. I was hoping you could help me out with any issues you see like her quirk or anything like that, and also her backstory if possible. I always feel like my characters tend to be a little flat, but it could just be a cause of my writing rather than my actual character, but I suppose you’ll be the judge of that!! If you’d like a more in depth description of the story I’d be happy to provide such, but the story itself is very much within a early developmental stage and I want to have these characters set up well before I really start. Thank you so much and I hope you’re having a wonderful day!! Also if this has sent twice I deeply apologise, the site told me the page had timed out so I’m just making sure it did send! Thank you and sorry if that is the case)

Hi there! I'll be taking this submission today. I do want to note that generally when you submit a profile with an image, we do require you to include credit for the artist, even if the artist is yourself. I completed this critique before noticing that you had not included credit, so I'm going to let it slide this time, but keep it in mind for future reference!

I'm really excited about Mora's quirk, because it's very unique - I've been writing and reading about all sorts of supernatural and superhuman abilities for years now and this is a completely new one on me! I do want to know what the limitations on this ability are, though. Is there a time limit on how long she can borrow an object for or on whether she can then lend that object to someone else? What happens when the "borrowing" is completed? Does the object disappear, or does she have to return it to the deceased person she borrowed it from? When she gives evidence to the police, how is it used? Is it admissible in court? Can other people hear and confirm the things she says that the deceased are saying to her, or do they have to take her word for it? I have a lot of questions, and I'd be really thrilled to get some answers.

With regards to Mora's appearance, you've included some interesting details, but I'd like to see more. Mora is actually a bit above average height at 5'8" (average is 5'5"), but that's just a nitpick. You've repeated that she always has her scarf twice, which is unnecessary. It would be nice to have more details about her face; I know that you included an image, but you should still be able to describe what she looks like to your readers. I do think the details about her prosthetic arm are very intriguing, and I can understand why she would want to cover it up; I'm sure that it can be very disturbing for other people to look at.

I like the way you've described her personality and it does give me a good idea of the kind of person Mora is, but I think that you can flesh it out with a few more details. For example, you wrote that Mora is "a subtle control freak" and then went on to describe her preference for the company of the deceased - what do those two things have in common? At first glance, it's nothing, so you need to either separate those two ideas or add in something that ties them together. Likewise, in the sentence that begins "When given a task...", the beginning and end of the sentence fit together but the middle seems a little like it belongs to something else. If you separated the information here into two sentences, it would make more sense.

You don't need to tell me that "Mora is driven when she has motivations", since motivations are the things that drive us to perform a certain way. This section really needs to be trimmed down. There's a lot here about what Mora thinks and how she feels, but it doesn't really tell me what gets her out of bed in the morning. Remember that saving money, moving from the area she lives in, and trying to pay her bills are goals, not motivations, and you need to cut those things out of this section. You need to ask yourself why: why does Mora choose to use her quirk to help people? Why is that important to her? Check out our post Why?: Goals and Motivations for more advice on digging into this part of your character.

I like the differentiation between what Mora thinks is her best quality and what her actual best quality is. I can also see how her worst quality and her fears might impact her story. What I'm not seeing is where these things emerged from - they're not reflected in her backstory, and they're mentioned in her personality but they're not really tied into it. In fact, her backstory is pretty bland overall, and doesn't include a lot of details I'd like to see. I'd like to know, for example, when Mora's quirk emerged, and how she felt about it, and whether how she feels now is different; I'd like to know what other major events have impacted her life. I'd like to know where her fear of not being in control comes from. I'd also be very interested in seeing a relationships section somewhere that talks about who else Mora knows besides her mother - do you realize that only two other people are mentioned in this entire profile? At present, Mora exists in a vacuum, and that's an issue that needs solving.

Additionally, I don't have a sense of where Mora's story is going or where you'd like it to go. I don't know how she's going to develop as a character, what the conflict of her story is, or whether her goals and motivations will change. A lot of these issues would be solved by adding more details to her personality and figuring out her motivations, but you should keep them in mind as you work through this profile if you choose to revise it.

And I do hope you will revise it. Mora is an interesting character, and you have a really solid foundation here for her. You just need to put the work in to really flesh it out and make her more well-rounded as a character. She needs to be connected to her world, and I need to see a better sense of her story. You can find a lot of the advice you need in the 5WH series - it's all about answering the big questions for your character and then connecting the dots to create a cohesive story.

If you do choose to revise Mora and resubmit her, I'd be really delighted to have another look. I think she's got a ton of potential, and I look forward to seeing you bring that out! Until then, I hope this helps, and good luck!

-Kyo

#OC Critique #submission