#bc it feels like i should be but really i have no idea what the big deal is sjskfhsjfjsk

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

Sins Of The Father, Fuck The Daughter - Lewis Hamilton

Switching Team pt 3

Dark fic 18+ - if you don't like this or the warnings/themes make you uncomfortable. I can't stress this enough, DO NOT READ THIS

Warnings/themes: Age gap, smut , coercion, manipulation, corruption/innocence kinks, gaslighting, parental intervention, baby trapping, revenge

@omgsuperstarg is being massively credited bc she has helped inspire so many ideas w this series so have to give a shout out.

One more part after this and then we're calling it on the series.

Another race weekend. Another endless train of clips seeing his very recently wrecked daughter dripping in red.

The whole world has noted that y/n always seems to have swollen lips, from whatever activity herself and Lewis were enjoying before arriving. Her red dresses practically uniform and this week came with an addition of all red Louboutins and a gust of wind did give some of the paddock a peak at what is better described as red string under her dress rather than anything that could be described as underwear

The media has tried it's best not to dwell too much on the matter but the transformation of the quiet and shy girl who seem to definite the innocence of wearing white has now been touched by Lewis and seems to be transformed. Hardly recognisable as the same person.

"Toto, we know that you have seemed to have lost two people to supporting red. How are you feeling about y/n's new relationship?" The reporter asks with a smile jumping at the opportunity to get Toto's opinion since everyone knows of his and Lewis' feud.

"I think I will have to console my daughter when she comes to her senses and sees Lewis is only corrupting her to hurt me. Which I think is quite poor form from someone like Lewis. Perhaps Fred can get his driver under control." Toto states making somewhat of a joke at the end, though even picks up on the tone and suggestion behind it.

"Fred?"

"I imagine Toto has more control over his daughter than I do over Lewis. It is my job to handle my drivers as drivers, not to monitor their personal lives." Fred shrugs earning a slight glare from the Mercedes team principal. "We are here to race."

"You should try reminding your driver of that when he's flaunting my daughter around like a possession." Toto grumbles earning a very obvious side eye from the Frenchman.

-

Y/n feels Lewis' hand clap over her mouth as his other hand pushes down on her stomach, forcing the bulge almost up into her other organs with the sensation of pain merging with pleasure and earning a muffled but still audible moan as she milks ever drop of cum from him.

Lewis has decided that he won't be fully satisfied about having successfully taken y/n from Toto until she's got his child. Though he might have to ease up on bruising her insides at that point, he's almost certain her tummy does actually have a small bruise from his dick.

Seeing her in all red actually brings out some primary instinct to fuck her till she's walking like the memory of his dick being in her is permanently there.

He'd had a conversation with Fred and then he saw the press conference and he decided that if Toto was so eager to see his daughter then he'd see it be done.

"That's a lot." Y/n mumbles commenting on the feeling of his cum flood out of her. "You want me to not wipe it?"

"No. We're going to see your dad."

"I really don't want to." Y/n mumbles then wincing when two fingers press into her before he removes them and raises his fingers to her races.

"Clean up." Lewis instructs making her look as his other hand squeezes her thigh in warning.

Y/n swallows before holding his hand to put his fingers in her mouth licking his fingers clean of the salty cum.

"Come on. We're going to see your dad and Susie."

"But-"

"Y/n." Lewis cuts in his short temper being a result of Toto's comments and the hurt expression on y/n's face makes him realise that he maybe needs to remember that she might be his daughter but she's an innocent in this matter. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but we don't have time and you know I like-"

"I know. But I don't even want to speak to my dad...I don't understand why you're pushing for it." Y/n mumbles with a pout.

"Because he wants to see you and he's blaming me stopping you as the reason why you won't." Lewis states earning a small nod. "You don't have to speak to him for long."

"Can't you just do the talking?" Y/n sighs earning a small smile of amusement.

"You have to say something, but I'll talk to him as well." Lewis assures her while helping her stand up. "Good?"

"Yeah."

They walk through the paddock moving to the Mercedes unit where Toto is actually sitting outside with Susie and Jack.

Despite their relation, Jack doesn't know much of his sister. By the time he came alone she'd long since been left in isolation and the two are anything but close.

"Why don't you go find George, Jack?" Susie asks, not wanting to leave but also not feeling Jack should be involved in the conversation. Thankfully he rushes off eager to speak to George since he admires the lanky Brit a lot.

"Y/n, how have you been?" Toto asks as Lewis pulls out a chair for her and tucks it in. "I didn't know you had such a love for the colour red."

"Toto." Susie scolds as Lewis sits down looking fairly smug.

"I'm here because Lewis asked it of me, if you intend to be disrespectful we can leave." Y/n states crossing her arms and frowning at him. "I didn't ask for this you know."

"Well if Lewis would stop using you-"

"Enough, Toto." Susie cuts in sharply.

Y/n swallows since Susie has always defended her but it's complicated between them.

"Lewis, whether your intentions were motivated by revenge on Toto or genuine feelings for y/n. You clearly have made her happy and that is what is important." Susie smiles looking at y/n. "Are you happy?"

"Yes."

"Then that's all that matters." Susie assures her then linking her hand with Toto's. "Your dad won't be making anymore public comments about it."

Toto makes no verbal confirmation, too busy trying to stare Lewis down but the driver is unwavering.

"I'm glad we all had this talk, it's been important. Y/n and I have to go, things to do. Come on, y/n."

The two leave though Toto and Susie both notice the bodily fluid that's now leaked low enough to be visible and if you glimpse you'll spot it.

"He is doing it on purpose. He is trying to provoke a reaction-Susie, you cannot expect him to allow this." Toto hisses to his wife. "He treats her like property and with no respect. How can you be ok with it?"

"Y/n is an adult. We have to let her make her own mistakes to learn her own consequences." Susie sighs then smiling at him. "We can only hope the consequences don't come in a form that she regrets in the long term."

-

Y/n watches Lewis talking to his engineers, ready to get the car out onto the grid.

There's been an off feeling since her and Lewis left that very short and uncomfortable meeting with her parents. She appreciates Susie's efforts but it's fairly obvious where Toto's feelings lie and she didn't miss that Lewis was purposely sitting like the cat who got the cream. Quite literally.

"Y/n, good luck kiss?" Lewis smiles catching her attention and earning a smile. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just thinking about earlier. It's...fine."

"Hey...don't let them ruin a good day. You look gorgeous, the race is going to be good and I want to see you afterwards with that gorgeous smile. All for me."

Y/n actually does genuinely smile over his words and when he leans in for a kiss it's fairly obvious his goal of perking her up was very successful. Something they're both very grateful for.

Watching the race y/n is so focused on Lewis she doesn't actually notice the cars around him, not till George appears and looks like he's trying to be the next torpedo driver as he tries a dive bomb and just completely smacks into Lewis, ripping through the right side of red sidepod and wrecking the floor.

"What the fuck?" Y/n whispers standing up as collective groans and yells of outrage shout through the garage.

That's race ending damage even if he wanted to continue.

They call for him to come in and he's pulled into the garage after trying to see if there's any chance of the car continuing but as suspected it's done for.

Lewis gets out being weighed before he takes a moment then sighs moving to his engineer. They spend a while watching replays, onboard, looking from different angles and he even moves back to the care talking to the mechanics as they inspect the damage which is severe.

"Are you ok?" Y/n mumbles making him look at her as he places his helmet down.

"You're never talking to your dad again." Lewis states earning a slightly shocked expression. It's one thing for her to be angry at.

Now George truly could've pulled that move of his own decision, he's the exact type of driver who would. Like an idiot. He got off lucky doing it.

"Y/n, I mean it." Lewis grumbles as a PR assistant appears telling him they need to get him to media. "I'll see you in the unit."

He then goes and spend the next half hour absolutely rinsing George calling him Toto's runner boy and directly making the accusation that the move was a matter of George being told to target Lewis and do anything to ruin is race. All because he's dating y/n.

-

Lewis made it clear.

He also used her as a bit of a cushion for frustration, she woke up this morning and decided she wouldn't be getting out of bed, although he did apologise for the sex that was about as rough as it's ever been. It's not as if she didn't enjoy herself. But the man certainly knows how to leave her feeling the effects of his dick the following day.

Luckily her is more than happy to do everything for her, he kisses her constantly and just holds her in cuddles, orders room service, gives her all his attention.

"You're the best thing in my life, you know that?" Lewis whispers gently pushing her hair back.

"You're the best thing in my life too."

"So...as an apology for the weekend-"

"You don't have to apologise." Y/n states quickly than moving over to straddle him. "I always love having sex with you."

"Do you?"

"Are you really going to make me prove it?" Y/n laughs earning a quick chuckle.

"No. You are in a rest day. Same as me. I think we're both owed it."

"Lewis...did it hurt?"

She knows that any impact in an F1 car can make the body ache but she really wants to know that Lewis is ok.

"It always hurts a little. But that one wasn't the worst." Lewis smiles then pulling her down to kiss her lightly. "You're sweet to ask, baby."

"Well so long as we can cuddle for the rest of the day, I think we're both resting enough."

"Agreed."

#f1 #fanfic #formula 1 #dark!lewis hamilton #dark lewis hamilton #dark f1 fic #dark!f1 #dark f1 #dark!fic #dark fic #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton smut #lewis hamilton one shot #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton fic #lewis hamilton #lh44 x y/n #lh44 one shot #lh44 x you #lh44 imagine #lh44 x reader #lh44 #sir lewis hamilton #f1 one shot #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 2024 #f1 imagine

[wrathofrats]

Some gay freak DMd me “I love the idea of mist hating rains attitude and how fucking high n mighty he seems to feel so she wrecks him and maybe she has Dew watch for a touch of humiliation bc dews obv so obsessed w Rain, it'll be good for droplet to see how pathetic he rlly is or smthn” and then I blacked out and wrote multiple paragraphs in his DMs so enjoy

(Love youuuuu @divine-misfortune)

Warnings for: dubcon, humiliation, probably technically exhibitionism, tentacles, trans rain, mean mist, yeah

Rain hasn’t looked at her all day.

Between trying to teach him how to play all the way through square hammer and trying to even begin touching the newer songs he’s expected to play, rain has barely even spoken or looked her in the eyes.

When mist corrects his technique he ignores her, playing through anyways like he hasn't done anything wrong. His attitude can be rough at times, as any water ghouls is, but today? Mist doesn’t think she can handle it. She can deal with snarky comments and eye rolls, but rain acting like he knows better than her makes her blood boil.

“Is this seriously how you’re going to act today?” Mist scoffs when rain looks up just to look back down again. “Are you really not going to listen to me?”

“I already know the song. Maybe if you stopped talking you’d be able to hear it too” rain mumbles.

Mist almost sees red. She hastily grabs the bass from his hands, trying not to let her rage damage the instrument. Once she knows it’s safe back in its stand she grabs rain by the shirt collar and drags him to the common room, ignoring the curses and protests rain yells out while clawing at her hand.

Dew sits in one of the chairs, legs lazily thrown over the arm with his phone in his hand. He honestly looks like he’s about to fall asleep before he hears the sound of rain threatening mist coming from around the corner.

“Get your fucking hands off of me mist!” Rain almost screams as she practically throws him to the ground in front of dew. It’s a pointed decisions, she’s seen the way dew looks at him, can read him like a book after all the time they’ve had to spend together. If rain wants to act like a brat for her, then he should have no problem showing that side of him to dew as well.

“Stay down if you know what’s good for you” mist hisses when rain scrambles. Dew can only stare wide eyed at the situation in front of him. He swings his legs to sit normally, confused on if he should stay where he is or leave to save rains dignity. The look mist throws at him keeps him glued in the chair.

“Our perfect water lily seems to think he’s figured everything out” mist smiles at dew, slotting herself behind rain. “Just thought that there’s one more thing he might want to know about”

One arm holds him to her chest as he struggles, the other yanks his pants to his ankles. Rain attempts to cover himself, pull his legs up and place his hands over his exposed cunt, but shame fills his face even if dew can’t actually see anything like this.

Dew just sits and watches, doesn’t dare to move. He’s half embarrassed for the poor ghoul in front of him because he knows damn well what mist is about to do,

But the other half is almost too excited to see it.

Mist whispers something unintelligible into rains ear that subdues him enough to let her force his legs open. His pussy is on full display for dew to gawk at. He’s already starting to get slick and shiny, pretty. Rain can bare to look at him, instead shoving his face into mists neck as she coos.

Mist slides her fingers up and down his folds, gathering the slick that’s already about to drip onto the carpet, and spreads him wide so dew can see how he clenches around nothing when she ghosts her fingers over his clit.

It’s obscene. Dew feels like he’s the sick one for staring so hard but god it’s impossible not to watch. Rains thighs twitch as if he desperately wants to close them and hide himself but he knows better, breathing heavy while mist just smiles at how docile she’s made him.

She rubs at his clit, purposeful motions that have him bucking up into her hand in search of more friction. The debauched wet sounds get louder as she works, dew wouldn’t be surprised if the floor below him was soaked already.

Mist is shocked it doesn’t take much, even more so that rain doesn’t know about this part of himself yet since he seems to be so easy. She rubs faster when she begins to feel it, rain lifting his head in slight panic.

Dew knows what she’s doing, knows the terrifying feeling.

A thick tentacle slowly reveals itself from rains cunt, bluish in hue, dripping in rains own arousal.

“Oh there we are waterlily” mist smiles as rain again tries to wiggle himself away to close his legs in shame from whatever is currently happening to him.

Mist keeps him open and on display, strokes the tentacle and guides it to stretch him open. Not super long but absolutely thick enough to have rain gasping and jutting his hips away,

It’s wet, making a mess of the poor ghoul for dew to watch, just seeing his little crush get ruined by his own tentacle in front of him.

#I’ve been meaning to shove this hear for a bit #eye twitches #ohhh humiliating rain my beloved #and mean mist my beloved #cw tentacles #cw dubcon #cw humiliation #the band ghost #ghost #nameless ghouls #ghost bc #fanfic #wrath writes #dewdrop ghoul #rain ghoul #mist ghoulette

[haute-honey]

I feel like shaking the table in honor of the last day of this mercury retrograde.

DISCLAIMER: Astrology is subjective and should never be looked at as definitive. So, when you're viewing astro observations or notes, please take it with a handful of salt. Including this post. This spiritual shit is meant to teach you more about yourself, not to solve all your problems or give you the answers to life's biggest questions.

scorpio sun is the worst scorpio placement to have and I wish you all would stop including them with other scorpio placements bc they are totally different vibe.

taurus' placements are who yall think scorpio placements are.

also, taurus men 🤝 sabotaging their own attractiveness.

Why don't we also talk about how having heavy Saturn placements, Venus-Saturn, Saturn in 7th, etc. as a young person makes you more susceptible than the average young person to being groomed/sexually assaulted by older individuals?

I hope that everyone of you who hold on to the stereotype of libras being liars meets a libra who is not only not scared of being honest, but cuts you deeply with the truth 🙃

scorpio moon women 🤝 never forgiving your father for mistreating your mother.

Black gemini sun men 🤝 loving white/racially ambiguous women.

Pisces men 🤝 lacking authentic charisma

What is with aquarius suns and being able to articulate themselves or a situation in an intellectual manner but still ending up in the stupidest, avoidable, thoughtless circumstances? Like does your brain work or not?

I think people with prominent aquarius placements tend to like the idea of being perceived as intellectual rather than doing the actual work or feeling the brunt of being an intellectual. For example, J. Cole the rapper (aqua sun) appearing to be very "woke" in his earlier work just for him to expose himself later on by saying he doesn't even read books..................

Oh to be a woman with prominent libra placements or stellium... you encounter jealousy from all genders and its unfair because no matter what we they do, people will still send the evil eye regardless. Avoid being in situations where you're the big fish in a small pond.

not an observation but really wish yall would stop tagging shit that has nothing to do with astrology or astrology observations. yall annoying af.

#astrology observations #astrology #astro observations

[cybertron-after-dark]

You should write beast wars, can I have some silly predacon headcanons?

I should absolutely write beast wars. Silly Predacon headcanons coming up

-Megatron talks battle strategy with his rubber duck all the time. He considers it his most trusted advisor because it's never said anything stupid and never tried to kill him. Honestly, he's tempted to think of the little dude as his only real friend.

-Speaking of Megatron, the man is a WHORE for a good bath bomb. Lush addiction, 100%. He has a whole hidden stock of bath bombs, bath salts, scented oils, candles, decorative soaps, scented metal polish and flower petals specifically for spoiling himself when he feels like hes completely surrounded by idiots. Which is often. Has he ever tried to eat one of the decorative soaps that look like baked goods? It doesn't count if it's the t rex hand.

-the reason skorponok occasionally reverts into caveman speak for some episodes is the writers couldn't figure out what to do with him he knows talking like that pisses off tarantulas and he thinks his annoyance is funny even though literally nobody else is amused by the bit.

-skorponok actually kind of misses dinobot because he made his job a lot easier. Constantly pitching ideas, suggesting battle strategies, pointing out flaws in plans. He was useful, even if he seemed to hate skorponok. He doesn't really know how to be a good second in command anymore because a crucial part of the dynamic is missing and he just can't adapt.

-waspinator is perfectly capable of speaking in normal grammar and not in the third person but he's been doing it since he joined in with Megatron and at this point he thinks he's in too deep to knock it off. He thinks it makes him sound cuter because it's actually an evolution of internet uwu speak. Memes get weirdly translated from earth to Cybertron and back.

-waspinator is actually really good at baking but he'll get blasted to bits a thousand times over before he lets anyone other than terrorsaur know because none of his other coworkers deserve to try his cupcakes (and also because he doesn't want to get "promoted" to kitchen slave). Dinobot knew, but he didn't snitch. Wasp never found out that Dinobot would occasionally snag a brownie, he always thought he just counted wrong.

-Terrorsaur is not above attempting to seduce a maximal but all his flirting attempts go horribly awry. If they don't outright reject him they just have no idea what he's getting at bc Predacon flirting is usually a lot different than maximal flirting so everyone thinks he's just kind of being a dick like usual. Dinobot knows exactly what is happening and ranges anywhere from amused to disgusted by the cross-faction fling attempts. The flying weasel clearly has no principles.

-Every couple weeks or so wasp and terrorsaur will get together to watch terrible movies over a bottle of highgrade and it always devolves into bitching about megatron. They tried inviting tarantulas a few times but he'd always make things Weird by bringing in slashers with really good special effects and proceeding to gush about how tasty the gore looks.

-Tarantulas knows what just about every living species in the known galaxy tastes like, organic, mechanical and everything in between. If it's made contact with Cybertron, chances are he's he's tried their flesh (or lack thereof). If it's at all possible, he wants to find out enough about the Vok to figure out how to capture, kill and eat one.

-Tarantulas also thinks rampage is a total poser when it comes to cannibalism. He doesn't even look like he's having fun with it. Barely any torturing or teasing beforehand, only dramatic monologues about fear and anguish. Bah! Amateur...

-Blackarachnia has a trash tv addiction. She doesn't know WHY the Darksyde's datatrax has every season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians and like 30 TLC produced shows, but she refuses to stop watching them. Tarantulas fucking hates it. She does not care and if he complains she will turn the volume higher.

-Blackarachnia has incredibly mixed feelings on the story Cinderella. On the one hand, it gives her a degree of hope. A girl reduced to a work slave for terrible people that gets to escape and live it up with a guy that lives her? Great conceptually, but she only got to get out of it because she was a good person and nice to everyone. Blackarachnia? Not quite so disgustingly sweet. She's a bad girl through and through. And evidently bad people don't get to escape bad situations. Oh well. She can always try to fake it til she makes it.

-Inferno has always secretly hoped that when the war is over, his Queen Megatron will settle down with him and repopulate the colony together. He has wildly saccharine domestic daydreams of being with his giant beloved lizardy queen and their 3000+ kids. He has accidentally let this slip around Megatron once, who proceeded to pointedly ignore what he just said.

-Terrorsaur and Blackarachnia got Inferno to watch Drag Race but upon hearing the contestants being called queen, he took it a bit too literally and interpreted the show as the sad, underwhelming way human queens settle disputes between their colonies instead of just fighting the proper way. Lame.

-Quickstrike is so so very sad he can't play video games. He wants to play GTA and cause excessive and wanton death and destruction, but his fucked up hands cannot hold the controller. He forsakes Primus for building him the way he did. He keeps trying to get tarantulas to make him a usable controller but he gets brushed off every time.

-Quickstrike has attempted to ride inferno in his beast mode into battle. It did not end well but for about a solid 18 seconds it looked metal as hell.

-Rampage actually really likes depth charge and wants to be friends sooooo bad but he doesn't know how to handle that in a healthy way so he keeps trying to get his attention by playing up the cannibalism thing and hoping they fight again. Honestly he just kind of likes depth charge holding him, even if it's in a chokehold.

-After losing transmutate, Rampage projected a lot of his grief onto waspinator, which lead to a very strange period of time on the ship where rampage would get very cuddly and protective of wasp, who was incredibly terrified of what would happen if he shoved the crab off. Usually accompanied by Rampage being Incredibly Sad.

-every month the preds have a game night. Usually a board game or card game with Megatron's house rules. Said house rules are specifically designed to make a fight break out for his amusement. These game nights typically end with at least three people in the r-chamber and somebody missing at least one limb.

#maccadam #transformers #beast wars #megatron #skorponok #terrorsaur #tarantulas #waspinator #blackarachnia #inferno #quickstrike #rampage #dinobot #honorary dinobot tag bc he didnt get his own headcanons but he did show up in the others #ALMOST LIKE THE TEAM STILL FEELS HIS ABSENCE AND CANNOT FULLY FUNCTION AS A UNIT WITHOUT HIM HAHAHA AINT THAT CRAZY #god we shouldve seen more of his dynamic woth the other preds when he was on their side

[feluka]

Hi, I don’t rlly know how to explain this but I’ll try haha.

I recently found out I have Egyptian and specifically Coptic ancestry, through family tree making, matching with cousins, gedmatch, dna testing, etc and now personal confirmation from family/ancestors.

The problem is idrk who was the Coptic ones in my family as my dad died when I was four and I’ve had no contact with his family at all since. I know it came from his mother, but I can’t even give you her name let alone where she was from, or anything. Although I want to learn more and reconnect and eventually find out who they were exactly. It’s just hard because my dad’s living family has no contact w us and since he’s dead, it’s been hard to get records as well.

I would like to learn more about Coptic culture and Egypt in general but I am worried about people considering me a ‘culture thief’ since I only recently. found this out a few months ago but didn’t really have 100% confirmation until like 2 weeks ago. And even though I can prove genetically I have ancestry Coptic I can’t really say who my ancestors were which would probably make some skeptical.

Especially because I am African American and there already exists a rift between Egyptians and AAs bc of hoteps who claim Egyptian culture/claim Egyptians are just Arabs who ‘stole’ Egyptian culture. I want to be respectful but I’m unsure how to navigate this.

I guess I’m asking if you have any idea how I should move forward, or if you know of any resources to learn more? I want to be respectful, but I would also love to start to reconnect even if I don’t know where my ancestors were exactly from other than ‘Egypt’.

Hello! First of all, this is both a very respectful and a very personal ask, so I want to thank you for trusting me with that. I hope my answer can help you find peace with the matter a little.

Instead of trying to figure out if the overall sentiment of trying to reconnect is harmful or not, because there's really no answer to that in and of itself, and instead stop at every individual action taken to reconnect and asking: could this be harming anybody?

For example, if you'd like to pick up Coptic language lessons, could this action possibly be harmful to anyone? Not really. Is reading about Coptic culture and engaging with what survived of it in modern day harmful? I don't think so.

The only possible thing that I can think of that might be harmful is, I have awful experiences with certain diaspora Copts who have never really engaged with the community nor know much of it, who suddenly butt in conversations about Coptic politics in Egypt like they're an expert on it despite never having been or known anything about it themselves, but from the way you've written this ask I doubt you're the kind of person to do that anyway, seeing as you're being very respectful and that you recognize that there's some dissonance in your experience (which there's no shame in, but the self awareness is helpful as a guide of when to participate and when not to!)

I don't know if I said this before on this blog but, to my knowledge, the matter of the hotep subculture entails far more than just questioning the Egyptian identity, and seeing as I'm neither African American nor Black at all, I don't think it's my place to comment on it. I invite any of my Black followers to contribue to intra-community discussion in the reblogs/comments for you to read, though!

All I can promise you is that even if the notion that the population of Egypt was displaced rather than converted during the Arab conquest of Egypt is false, there still are Black Egyptians and there always have been. Sadly I'm sure there will always be people who try to make you feel like a pretender, but that is true of so many things and regardless of what you do, so always remember thay Black people have always been part of Egypt's history, and that nobody is entitled to know your personal details or family history and you don't need to disclose anything you're not comfortable with to prove anything to them.

As for resources, there's always a lot on Egyptology in general, so the specific topics that would be helpful to be aware of are: modern history of Copts (or Copts post the Arab Conquest of Egypt), the persecution of Copts, the decline of the Coptic language and the efforts to revive the language. The last two are especially pertinent nowadays.

Lastly you can always ask other Copts! I may not have all the answers but I'm sure between me and my followers we can find something helpful for you if you're trying to find a specific resource of have more questions. (The scarcity of resources is something we *all* have to deal with, even us here in Egypt, I'm afraid, but it's not a lost cause! You'd be surprised how much is out there on internet archives.)

I hope you have a lovely day. ♥️

#asks

[visforvengeance]

un jour c'est toi que je partirai

Notes: Howdy! ok so this is a filler chapter. this was originally gonna be chapter 3 buuuut the way I started it wasn't matching how I wanted the chapter to end. so pls forgive me lmao. I wanted to get something out to you guys bc I know it's been a while since the last chapter. I still don't know if i want this series to end before the next season comes out or not but I'm def gonna keep writing itttt

Warnings: cursing? she/her pronouns. mentions of suicide, idk if this should be a tw but description of a panic attack, carmy is a perv in this lowkey. masturbation. when I said philip, i was totes talking about lip gallagher. not too much happens in this. please let me know if I missed anything and thanks for reading <3.

masterpost

“Mikey killed himself.”

He couldn’t do it. Where are you, Carmen? His brother’s funeral was today. You’re supposed to be here. He’s sorry, but he can’t. What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? He still couldn’t believe it. Fuck, his chest was starting to hurt. He was getting sweaty, his hearing began to fade in and out, and he couldn’t breathe. He can’t fucking breathe. He can’t stop the tears or the sob that tore through him. It echoed throughout his apartment. Fuck this shit. 

He stood in disbelief as he looked upon the one restaurant that could have him shitting bricks. It looked old. And, familiar. And, not his, but absolutely fucking his now. Shit, he couldn’t fucking believe it. This fucking restaurant that haunted his dreams, that he spent his whole life chasing was officially his. He hurried to unlock the door and get inside. He hadn’t told anyone that he was back in Chicago. He wanted to embrace it on his own for a second. It still smelled the same, like Mikey and cigarettes, grease, bleach, and Mikey. 

He looked at the picture frames, news clippings, and awards scattered across the wall. He was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. He hadn’t set foot inside this place in two years, and now his brother is dead and he’s standing in his restaurant. 

He heard the bell ring and turned to see his big sister, “Carmy?” God, did he miss her. He missed them all, he really did. Even insufferable Richie and fucking Fak. And, Y/N. He hadn’t let go of the last conversation they shared. His one shot at true love and he’d gone and fucked it all. Whatever.

He walked over to Natalie, embracing her dearly. “Hi, sis.” He smirked at her as she gasped and swatted his chest. “Why didn’t you tell me you were here? I would’ve gotten you from the airport,” she said with a frown. He shook his head as he waved her off. He smiled up at her, genuinely smiling. “I wanted to surprise you.” “Consider me surprised. So, had a chance to take a look around yet?” He sighed and shook his head. “James told me the store’s not really in good standing?” Natalie let out an exasperated sigh. “Fuck no. I don’t know what the hell Mikey has gotten himself into, Bear.” 

“You, uh, you know where he keeps the records and shit like that?” Natalie shook her head as she took a seat in one of the booths, “you’d have better luck asking Richie.” Ugh. Carmen loathed Richie. But, he tolerated him because he was family and Mikey’s best friend. “Have you seen him around lately?” “Yeah, I told him to meet me here so we could get a headstart on figuring out all of this shit.” Carmen sat in the seat across from Nat, “good. I bet he’ll have some idea.” Natalie nodded slowly as she thinned out her lips. “So,” she says as she clasps her hands together in front of her, “does Y/N know you’re here?” Fuck. She doesn’t know.

Honestly, he didn’t know if he should even tell her. Would she come to see him? Did he have a chance? He hadn’t seen or heard anything about her since Christmas dinner. “No, I haven’t spoken to her since Christmas.” He paused before speaking. “You know she told me she loved me that night?” Natalie had some idea of what was going on between them. Carmen, being the moody little brother he is, kept her out of his business as much as possible. And, Y/N tried to spare her the details for fear of grossing her out. 

“And, what did you say?” “That I loved her too.” For the first time, he was honest. So honest that it scared him. When he thinks back on that night, it almost makes him want to vomit. She felt bad for her brother, this need for Y/N but being unable to do anything about it was eating him up inside and anyone could tell that he wasn’t alright. Pair that with grief and an existential crisis, she didn’t know how he was managing. “How is she?” He knows Mikey’s death couldn’t have been easy for her either. “She’s..coping as best as she can.” He’d love nothing more than to be with her in moments like these, ones that you know you shouldn’t be going through alone. 

“She seeing anyone?” Carmen couldn’t help himself as he asked. Natalie hesitated before answering and that filled Carmen with such dread. “Um, some guy that she went to college with. I think his name is Philip?” He flinched like he was about to be hit. Now, he knows more than he’d like. “Are they like dating? Boyfriend and girlfriend?” Carmen wasn’t trying to pry information out of Natalie for his own personal gain, no way. He was simply inquiring about a friend. 

“Why are you asking?” Natalie was suspicious of the younger boy. If she didn’t know any better, she’d say he was planning to shoot his shot with Y/N (eventually). It’s about damn time. He shrugged, “Just curious.” She nodded, not believing a word he said. “As far as I know, they’re not too serious but definitely more than friends.” He could only imagine what that meant. Were they already having sex? That was not his business. He needs to get a grip on reality. He nodded and began to stand, just as he was doing so, Richie rushed inside. They hugged and began their bickering immediately after. Natalie just chuckled and walked away. 

Carmen was tired. So fucking tired. It hadn’t even been a full day and he’d endured so much bullshit. The ripping and running and trying to find a decent crew wore him out. He didn’t make it to his bed when he got to his apartment. Instead, he plopped down his couch. After a while, his mind drifted to her. He missed her. Fuck, when didn’t he? He found himself thinking about her constantly. What was she doing today? What did she eat? He was sure it wasn’t nearly as good as what he could make for her. She loved when he cooked for her, so he always did. Never did he allow her to even touch a cooking utensil. He never complained about it either. He loved it just as much. Maybe even more. 

Then, he began thinking about her warmth. He missed it so much that he craved it. It had been too long since he last felt her. Or smelled her scent. He wondered if her lips still felt or tasted the same. Was her skin still as soft as he remembered? Why the fuck is he doing this to himself? It was too late as he felt himself straining against his pants. 

He tried to ignore the lust that was creeping into his head. But, he couldn’t stop himself and he was getting harder the more he thought about her. She made him behave like a fucking pervert. He couldn’t take it anymore. He unbuttoned his pants and slid his hand inside his boxers. Pulling his cock out of his pants, he squeezed the base of it. This was fucking humiliating but it felt too good. He felt bad for thinking about her while doing this. But, he was doing it anyway.  He thought about her face as she was being pleasured, the sounds she’d make. He imagined it was him who made her cum. Just as she was beginning to reach climax, he was cumming all over his hand. He always came the hardest when he thought about her. The deep embarrassment was almost enough to make him never think about her like that, though. Almost. He cursed himself as he wiped his hand on his khakis. It was getting late and he figured he should get ready for bed. She never left his thoughts as he (finally) drifted to dreamland.

#carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto angst #carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

Can you make some sad libby headcanons? I swear all your other sad headcanons made me cry😭

sad libby head canons

YES! libby is literally the fucking best and she's so underrated. trigger warning for self-harm, suicidal thoughts/attempts, eating disorders, and sexual assault. hope you like them <3.

she used to apologize to her mother after she would hit her (in tig she says her mother used to hit her when she was stressed)

she's been self-harming since she was like 12. she used the blade in her pencil sharpener and cut the tops of her thighs (you can't see them even when she wears shorts)

drake convinced her that him SAing her was out of love, and that he knew she 'wanted' it so she should stop complaining. she'd be the one who ended up apologizing to him after he'd assault her

in high school, because of how tough things were at home, she used to do drugs (she had this really bad group of friends that sort of influenced her) (she didn't get addicted to the drugs though, if was more of a once in a while thing when she couldn't handle her life anymore)

at some point, her mom was doing really badly financially, and they were forced to move into a smaller one bedroom apartment. libby thought her mom deserved the bed bc she worked so hard so she slept on the floor.

she's so used to people hitting her that it doesn't even hurt anymore. when someone does, she sort of dissociates in order to not feel anything.

her mom used to tell her she was overweight (she was literally underweight, her mom was just jealous). libby then developed an eating disorder (bulimia)

the ED was sort of an on and off thing for her. every once in a while, she'd get the idea in her head that she was overweight and ugly and should do smth about it, but, then, avery or one of her friends would help her get better.

the reason she's drawn to men like drake is bc it's the only thing she's familiar with. her mom was a piece of shit too, so for her its what's normal/what she deserves (this is less of a head canon and more psychology but eh)

she'll do anything anyone asks of her. she can't say no even if it makes her uncomfortable/she doesn't have the time/doesn't like that person.

she sometimes gets so mad at the world that she punches walls until her bones almost break.

she hates getting mad at people bc she reminds herself of her mother.

she's terrified of becoming a mother (even though she wants to be one) bc she's convinced herself that she'll be like her mom, if not worse.

her mom used to get mad at her for ricky (her father) leaving. so much so that libby started blaming herself for it

drake used to tell libby that if she didn't let him have his way with her, he'd hurt avery. libby, of course, didn't want that so she would let him do awful things to her.

she hates taking baths bc drake used to waterboard her (if you don't know what that is, search it up)

when libby used to do things her mom didn't approve of/like (mistakes all children make and learn from like spilling a glass of milk), she would deny libby basic needs like food, water, a bed to sleep in etc.

idk if this one will make sense (it makes sense to me but idk), but libby dyes her hair a new color very often bc its a way for her to start anew. like lets say she breaks up with drake again and she hates herself for getting back together with him in the first place, she dyes her hair a new color to signify the beginning of a new era.

she will literally break her back to please people/be the person they want her to be. if they think she talks to much, she'll stop talking, etc (people's opinions of her matter a lot to her)

tw prob one of the darkest hcs i've ever written: libby ended up in the hospital once bc she slit her wrists trying to off herself. this happened right before she took avery in. the doctors didn't think she'd make it.

she'd considered offing herself multiple times before and after the last hc, but she doesn't bc just the thought of it makes her feel guilty. she doesn't want people to cry over her bc she thinks she doesn't deserve their tears, and she doesn't want to leave people she wants to help

she insists everyone get therapy but herself bc, to her, other people matter more

the only thing that brought her comfort as a child was this stuffed bunny. she used to press it to her wounds bc it would dull the pain (this might not make sense but whenever i get hurt (cause im ass clumsy bitch), putting pressure on the wound dulls the pain). she also found comfort in how soft it was.

drake threw that bunny away cause he thought it was worthless. libby told nash about this and he searched the entire fucking country until he found that damn stuffed bunny (idk how he did but he's a hawthorne so...)

when she has panic attacks, she'll either be very silent/still in a corner or she'll be clawing/pulling at anything around her (including herself)

she didn't do well in school not bc she wasn't smart but bc the students and teachers were so creepy towards her (would harass her constantly) that she felt uncomfortable even stepping into the school

absolutely hates it when drunk people interact with her/get too close to her bc whenever drake got drunk, he'd hit her

hannah's death hit her hard too. they were actually much closer than people thought they were. hannah helped her through a lot of shitty things that happened in her life. she would visit her grave every once in a while to tell her she wished she was still here bc her life (and avery's) was absolutely shit without her. she would breakdown in the middle of the graveyard every time

whenever she felt like hurting herself but didn't have a blade nearby, she would dig her fingernails into the already existing wounds to make them bleed again.

drake once beat her up so bad she ended up in the hospital with brain swelling and a fractured arm. the swelling in her brain was so bad they didn't know if she'd make it out alive.

here's a happy libby head canon to (hopefully) make it all better:

she used to be this supervisor at a daycare when she was younger (that's probably not even a thing but lets pretend it is). the kid would make her drawings all of the time with hearts and proposals and stuff. she loved the kids so much, she would hug every single one of them and bake them cupcakes. they were literally her best friends, and some of them still send her messages through their mom/dad (she would befriend their parents and give them her number/email)

not proof read bc i'm a lazy ass bitch. i say this in every post, but pls talk to someone if you need help (if there's no one in your life you can talk to, contact a helpline). sending lots of love to everyone <3.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne #libby grambs

[sil3ntfr34k]

orr p1/p4 as platonic comforting thing…

Platonic!P1 Dude and P4 Dude Comforting Headcanons

(Also matching gifs this is so cool)

Postal 1 Dude

He’s actually the worst person to comfort you. WILL make it worse

Even if your anxious about just going to the grocery store because you don’t feel like socializing, he’s trying to convince you that something bad is going to happen and now you can never go to store at all

“I don’t feel like going…” “Whatdayamean?? Why don’t you want to go? You always wanna go somewhere, what if something is going to happen? It’s waiting for its moment to strike you, to take you from this world. No! You can’t go anymore! Just stay here, it’s safest here than being out there with those… vermin.”

Somehow, he’s spiraling before you,,, He doesn’t even know what the hell is going on, yet he’s in the corner facing the wall and hugging his knees

If it’s really bad, like your having a trauma response kind of bad, he’s making it worse. You could be hyperventilating on the floor, shaking and all, and he will be there crying over your body like your actually dying

Sometimes it feels like he makes it about himself, but it’s just that his anxiety is that bad

Postal 4 Dude

“What the hell is wrong with you🤨⁉️”

Has no idea what’s going on, ever

Has a mini heart attack when he sees you upset and immediately bombards you with questions. “What’s wrong? What happened? Why are you upset? Was it that asshat down the street? Because he was fucking with me yesterday too. I’ll kill him for you I swea-“

You gotta hit him with something soft to shut him up bc he will yap until you forget what the hell you were upset about

If it’s something like a trauma response or panic attack, Dude tries his best to be there but also be at a distance. He read one somewhere that it’s best to give someone who’s having an attack space and to just ‘watch’ over them. It still kills him inside to see you like that, but he knows he can’t do much to help

If he can, Dude will make Champ go sit with you. He’s seen service dogs do that before so in his head it’s a good idea. Until Champ is trying to play with you and is trying to knock you over,,,

Cue Dude dragging Champ back again by the collar, poor guy,,,

Afterwards, he will most definitely try to pry what’s wrong out of you, even if it’s something personal. It’s not that he’s trying to butt into your personal life or make you uncomfortable, he’s just concerned (and curious. What the hell could’ve made you act out like that???)

Overall, he’s okay to go to for comfort, but definitely not the one you should be going to for that. Unless you wanna get incredibly high or drunk (or both) afterwards as a compensation

#postal #x reader #p1 dude #postal x male reader #postal dude x male reader #postal headcanons #postal 4 #postal game #postal x reader #postal dude x reader #postal dude

[marcmorrigan]

finally delivering on the princess tutu headshots i promised... love these dysfunctional teens 🩰💖💕

LOTS of notes about headcanons/design choices under the cut! like. a lot. dont say i didnt warn you

starting with my specialest guy fakir:

i had a suuuper clear vision for fakir, and i couldnt be happier with how he turned out, he looks exactly how i imagine him! trying to translate his Bird-Shaped Hair into my style gave me SERIOUS homestuck flashbacks. my affinity for knights with Problems knows no bounds...

adding the hyperpigmentation around his eyes and his acne scars is what really solidified this for me-- i put those in and was like oh!!! there you are!!! my boy!!! and you can tell because i gave him acne scars + thick eyebrows that he IS my boy... there are very clear trends among my headcanons for my faves lol. big noses, thick eyebrows, skin imperfections, heavy eyebags, long dark hair... and fakir truly has it all 😤 he is so Ideal Character Design to me

i think fakir is actually pretty self-conscious about his appearance tho! we see characters like pike and lilie say hes handsome to ahiru, but i dont know how often he actually hears that? and im sure its hard not to compare himself to mytho, who is straight out of a fairy tale; being a regular teenager dealing with regular teen body stuff is hard enough without your roommate being a magically beautiful eternally youthful storybook hero. i think he probably internalises more that people see him as scary and angry, and that the girls who do have crushes on him always frame it in contrast to mytho, who is Good and Kind and Handsome, implying (or sometimes outright stating!) that fakir is Bad and Mean and... Well...

fakir is very sensitive but quiet about it, so i think its a very private point of self-consciousness. i think he puts a lot of semi-secret effort into his appearance; canonically he has a lot of very funny and clearly customised clothing, and he chooses to keep his hair long and in a very particular style (i have a whole breakdown in my mind of how he achieves that style and it involves a surprising amount of pins and an unsurprising fuckton of teasing. i think his hair is a little fried from heat damage!), and i think that probably extends to other things, too, like manicuring his eyebrows and doing a lot of very Teenage Skincare that doesnt actually help his acne much lol. i think he probably has a lot of self-injurious habits and BFRBs like skin picking and chewing, mostly at his acne and around his nails (both of which he hates, because he knows he shouldnt but does it anyway). i think if he does it enough that theres noticeable evidence it feels, like, world-ending for him, ESPECIALLY if anyone asks what happened lol. do not perceive him except in the very specific ways and contexts he approves of THANKS

on to the narratives favorite princess, mytho:

again, i had a pretty clear idea of the vibe i wanted mytho to have going into this-- i want him to have, like, extreme prince charming vibes, very Classically Handsome without necessarily being 'conventional.' i thought a lot about 'the happy prince' story while i was working on this, and really wanted him to look like a cross between how the prince statue looks in my head and a porcelain doll. and also a cross between jonny brown and brigitte bardot? lots of very direct influences for him lol. so! lots of gold tones, gemmy eye color, cute little tooth gap, quivering wide-eyed thousand-yard-stare doe eyes and big ol dolly anime lashes, which were the very last thing i added because i was NERVOUS about pulling those off lol. they turned out cute tho! ive only done a handful of pieces for this series and i can already tell princess tutu is gonna make me up my lash drawing game considerably, these kids all look like they blink and cause a hurricane from the gale force wind of their falsies

also wait i lied the very last thing i did was add his freckles/beauty marks because he needed that little extra oomph and those were It. i think he probably has some on his hands/wrists too 💕

i was a little unsure if my idea for his hair would translate with this flat-color approach but im pretty happy with it! its supposed to be afrotextured hair (somewhere between 3b and 4c i think? wide range of potential i knowww but im still kind of hammering out my headcanons okay, this is exploratory lol) thats been rolled and finger-styled into his little feather shapes. i think loose, chunky twists would be another fun way to interpret his hair and twists are one of my fave styles to draw do i might draw him like that at some point too...

i guess fakir is the one who styles his hair for him before mytho gets his heart back? i imagine fakir is pretty meticulous about maintaining mythos health and appearance, even at the worst stages of their relationship. i think itd be hard for fakir to frame the way he treats mytho as For Mythos Sake if he wasnt doing some level of actually beneficial care for him, so being really fastidious about things like mythos diet and sleep hygiene and hair care and such gives fakir an outlet for his 'you just have to do what i tell you' thing that helps him convince himself it really is helping, no really, hes doing this for mythos benefit and he just has to be strict with him because mytho doesnt UNDERSTAND he needs PROTECTING and fakir is the ONLY ONE who can do it so mytho HAS to let him because if he doesnt then why does fakir even EXIST, if he cant manage this then what is he good for, and--

yknow. the usual complexes. and their relationship is so complex!!! but also so simple, but like. in a good way. fakirs behavior is complicated but his motivation regarding mytho is SO straightforward which makes that downward spiral into harm really easy to map out... i wont go much into that in this post since this is about visual/appearance-related headcanons but just. augh. i love this show and i love these characters!!! and i hope its apparent in my work that i do love them so <3

im hoping to do a set of these for the girls next!!! i have some other stuff to finish first but hopefully... Soon... Some Birds...

#princess tutu #fakir #mytho #prince siegfried #my art #i had sooo much fun playing around with style in these... the super strong white highlights + underpainting combo looks SO lovely #i should take this approach more often i almost never do!!! it rules and is fun to do #i was listening to my fakir playlist nonstop for DAYS while working on this and still intermittently since... #it feels like ive been sitting on these for a month but its only been 5 days omg. crazy... good to know tho #anyway i love themmm theyre everything. SO fun to draw i really hope i can do more art of them. i Want To... i have Ideas >:o) #btw is putting notes on my thoughts under a cut like this interesting for yall? its fun for me but idk if yall wanna read all that #i will probably continue regardless bc i love to hear myself talk esp abt my design choices but #im curious if my notes on my thought process are interesting to anyone else #if not oh well! thats what the cut is for 😤 nobodys gotta read it if they dont wanna im doing this for Me #full color

[queen-mabs-revenge]

ok but the fact that sam's story line this episode was filmed before but aired after the whole gary lineker situation (i'm assuming) is such an indictment of the uk gov that their vile racism is so routine and ingrained that you can write stories about it down to the very detail and it plays out that eerily accurately.

but having said that, i'm really actually kind of appalled with the way sam's whole story was handled. the fact that it is a fucking to-the-letter accurate representation of the horrific political situation and the takeaway was... what? shit is wretched but anger will get you nowhere? forgive and move on in the face of actual violent injustice? sam's anger wasn't just lashing out, it was justified anger.

i appreciated the solidarity of the last scene, but i think with the stakes that they set up that story needed to be taken a lot more seriously within the larger story of the club -- keeley's storyline should have very involved in working ways to support and protect sam, there should have been a wider discussion about publicly supporting sam, the restaurant clean-up effort should have been a publicized response to condemn the violent policies sam was speaking out against and the violence and hate crimes it begets, and to show solidarity in fighting against it. that needed to be front and centre re: the ties that bind us, not just sam's side story with a feel-good coda.

like i think the dubai air story was handled better in the sense of the public facing aspect of it and the political weight of it. the fact that the consequences were knitted in with the club's story with the sponsor change, the entire team taking a public stance in solidarity, the press conference after. meanwhile this seemed very... hmmmmmmmmm yeah idk it didn't feel like it was given the weight that something sam's denouncements and the subsequent hate-fueled property damage really would have.

and esp bc we've since seen how an absolute institution like gary lineker was punished for similar criticisms, and how the solidaristic actions of other pundits refusing to go on air and publicly stating why was a huge deal as far as supporting that denouncement of state-sponsored racist violence. like the quiet response in the show feels really inadequate in light of that, you know?

it just felt like if they were gonna go there they needed to really commit to going there with all of the fall-out and club involvement it would entail, and they just didn't, which feels wishy-washy and frankly really dismissive. it was a writing choice to introduce this story and not actually deal with it with the weight it deserved.

really feels worse the more i think about it

#ted lasso spoilers #sam obisanya #ted lasso #like keeley is literally pr and she should have been involved heavily in this story line and it's actually weird that she's not #tbh i kind of feel like a lot of what sam's story could have been was sidelined bc they wanted to do the keeley/jack love bomb thing #which??? #feels really inconsequential as compared to the heavy political topics they decided to go into #and the idea of the show being about the ensemble cast and their interactions with each other #just feels like really disproportionate storytelling both from a plot and character standpoint considering the political stakes

[chasingfictions]

2x04, Old Wounds

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers #yellowjackets meta #lottie matthews #shauna shipman #im too lazy to get a download of the new episodes or to gif this so this is what we get!!! but i feel CRAZY about it #bc also like. the implication of callie being equivalent to It #shauna begs to callie and lottie begs to Whatever She Begs To #callie as the emblem of shauna's future she is what she is pouring herself into but callie is also inextricably tied #to shauna's past. the daughter jackie should have had. another earthly presence that jackie is haunting #and lottie's whole thing being like. ive moved on from that now. im free now. im better now. #the past rising up to grab her in the place where she meant to make her future but which really is like. #a monument to her past in every possible way #also the idea of words and blood being equivalent sacrifices #shauna kills jackie with words. #also im thinking about like within the torah how when they transition from the temple days to the rabbinic era #how prayer genuinely takes the place of what would have before been animal sacrifices #liturgy as bloodspilling.... it wants blood..... #callie wants blood as in she wants the fullness of her parenst she wants them to see her and trust her... #im spiralling!!! #SHAUNALOTTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[puppyeared]

#UAUHGG im havung oc thoughts. plaguing myBRAIN. i can feel my heartrate spiking holy shit #ok so. i rly wanna touch up presto and shuffles story without scaring myself out of it by overthinking it. esp the implications of #them having animal features and what they would eat. as well as worldbuilding character dynamics setting background characters ugghh. #constantly have to tell myself its just for fun. basically theyre rival magicians who keep their identities secret and fuck it up in #the funniest way possible LMAO. they rent the same apartment and the landlady accidentally gives it to both of them without them knowing #so they end up walking in on each other out of costume and have this weird tension around not revealing each others identities despite thei #borderline malicious rivalry. blackmail may or may not be involved i havent decided yet #they DO consider backing out of tenancy but they decide not to so they can make sure they dont reveal each others identities #thats the idea but its really abstract bc i dont have a direction or writing in mind. they just rattle in my head like spare change #other stuff i have rn is. they both consider each other a copycat and they have the same skill level of magic #but they have different styles and techniques theyre just too focused on outperforming each other to notice #presto likes to make people laugh so they probably include gags and impossible feats. shuffle is more elegant and focuses on #smooth movements and dangerous stunts. i want to make that reflect in their costumes but its hard bc stage magician costumes tend to stick #to suits and capes.. so idk. then maybe side characters like the landlady and other tenants but i havent given em much thought orz #i really should practice with concepts because i have a bad habit of making everything similar to the first try so its frustrating #and i suck at writing characters. but im doing this for fun so im trying not to get hung up on whether its generic or not #yapping #stares at the floor. maybe i should make a carrd for my ocs #oc talk #presto #shuffle

[jamiethebeeart]

Sketches

#shuichi iguchi #shigaraki tomura #spinaraki #these were 2 unrelated sletches but then my brain starting brewing some thoughts #mainly an au where spinner is sent in as a spy (for???? not the heroes lmao) to get into Shigaraki's confidence which of course means #wink wonk bedroom activities ANYWAY spinner catches feelings and doesnt really want to inform on Shigaraki anymore and is feeling conflicted #about what he should do and shigaraki knows something is up with his maybe boyfriend but not what and just :))) angst and split loyalties #amd feeling torn in two directions #(i sya not heroes but the only group with enough prescence is the mla but thats not really their m.o. either so???? idk what group would #have the reach/influence to feel threatened by some upstart kid in the villain world and manipulate a member into taking this espionage job) #anyways ive got so many au ideas and not enough time to write a fic or 12 lmao #like the research + planning + plot points + writing + editing + energy to pull it off.... im tempted to dabble in it all again tbh #im a year behind the manga tho and still havent watched the last season so idk where characters have ended up #and id rather not write anything until i catch up (idk maybe horikoshi has revealed some fun/character specific info?) #here i am talking on + on in the tags. anywho if anyone wants to write a fic based on any of my posts feel free bc i probably never will

[paigemathews]

"A Warren. It's a family trait. So are the short tempers, the great cheekbones, the strong wills, and, of course, the powers. All blessings. All signs of where you came from."

Honestly, thinking thoughts about Warren witches and the short tempers. We see this one best through Piper obviously, but I was thinking about the way that this manifests in especially Wyatt out of all the next gen kids.

I feel like Wyatt really represses a lot of his negative emotions. Don't get me wrong, I do generally think that he's a pretty kind, optimistic person in general, but I also interpret him as someone who has this kind of fear at what he's capable of. I've mentioned this before, but the way I went about "depowering" Wyatt, for lack of a better word, to a manageable level is that he locks down most of his powers so that his control is somewhat resigned to not using them because while he's not necessarily afraid of his powers, he's afraid at their potential power. I mean, my Wyatt is currently hovering around 23ish in my next gen stuff, and that is an intense amount of power (and pressure) to put on someone who is still trying to figure out what the fuck they're trying to do right now. However, the issue is that a witch's powers are closely tied to their emotions, so with Wyatt basically locking down his powers, he basically locks down those emotions as well. The trigger for a lot of the particularly destructive powers, aka the ones Wyatt ruthlessly extinguishes in fear of unleashing tend to be rooted in stuff like anger or fear.

So when it comes to Wyatt's temper, I think it's really hard to actually unleash it. One, I think that he's just kind of hard to piss off in general. Chris and Mel have always been the two to start fighting, so he tends to take on a mediator role with them (especially bc the only other next gen kid to stand a chance is Peyton, Phoebe's eldest). So he's pretty good about letting shit roll off his back, because both of his siblings will turn their anger on him if his interference goes poorly. Two is that he's at least. kind of aware of other people's expectations of and for him, which don't really tend to be very human. He's pretty awkward with some of it, because so many people expect this saintlike, godlike figure of the Twice-Blessed and he's a 23 year old working as a library assistant at Magic School trying to figure shit out. (Especially when it comes to the magical politicking bullshit, Wyatt's so earnest and open that he struggles with it. It's an interesting time when the Marks family manages to drag any of the Halliwells to a witch event bc of the layering expectations and personalities for each Warren.) But he's pretty good at the compassion and gentleness that people expect, and he leans into that when he can sense those expectations. Thirdly, and I'll relink this post, Wyatt internalizes the fuck out of shit. He doesn't really blame someone else, even if they've wronged him. Instead, he fully takes on the blame and guilt himself and basically self-flagellates himself about it.

For the most part, he's very difficult to anger. However, when someone actually does manage to piss him off, there are two possibilities. Firstly, he basically unleashes it if he's able to, aka evil beings. Secondly, he hardcore represses it. Not even in a swallow the acid in your throat type of way, but like he ruthlessly shoves it so far down that he can't even taste the burn in his throat anymore type of way. In that case, he just blocks it out and pretends it doesn't exist until he basically believes it. The biggest thing is that when it comes to short tempers, no one really realizes that Wyatt even has one.

Needless to say, and actually the inspiration for this is that repression demons can wreak a whole lot of havoc through Wyatt if they can get to him. It'd be a source of pretty significant power to the demon and damage to those around Wyatt, and the guilt he'd have afterward? Could honestly power another repression demon. An important part of growing as a person and as a witch for him would need to be embracing and dealing with his emotions, all of his emotions, in a healthy manner instead of just repressing them entirely. I feel like that'd make some cool plotlines for growth, especially with the empaths in the family.

#charmed #wyatt halliwell #charmed meta #meta #abi speaks #i was actually originally going to discuss chris as well and typed out the full thing too #but the issue is that i dont really like how i said it and i dont feel like it conveye what i was wanting it to so #into the drafts it goes #but honestly i really like wyatt as a character especially with all of the power at his fingertips #bc i think there's a lot of ways to deal with all that power and i've loved so many of the ways i've seen #but i also really like the character idea of having this almost pathological fear of his power #and how it impacts his emotions espcially in conjuction with his kind of guilt complex and people pleasing tendencies #idk i just love wyatt man someone should give him a hug and a break #its not gonna be me but someone should!

[mattodore]

can you describe matthias and theo night routines? and their sleep schedule

<3 ly

Theo doesn’t get a lot of sleep since he’s either out partying into the long stretches of the night or up studying until the words begin to blur on the page. I’d say he normally falls asleep around 3AM-4AM and doesn’t wake back up until 7AM. Four-ish hours is pretty average for how much sleep he gets a night… maybe less at times if he’s more stressed than usual. I should add that he does sleep more when he’s staying over at Matthias’s or vice versa, but generally he tries his best not to let Matthias distract him from studying before bed… which only ever works out about a quarter of the time. Matthias can be... very persuasive.

In the case of Matthias, well… he’s a chronic insomniac whose insomnia is exacerbated by hallucinations and nightmares. Unsurprisingly, his sleep schedule is terribly inconsistent, but if he does sleep then I think he normally manages it sometime around noon and will stay asleep for about an hour or two. It’s actually very rare that he falls asleep during the night—especially after Theo begins to sleep over, as Matthias prefers to read and watch over him at that time instead. Theo has fits in his sleep (from nightmares that he never remembers…) and Matthias gently calms him so he doesn’t wake up.

The only time they fall asleep at around the same time is when they’ve been at it for a while and both need a break. Matthias doesn’t stay asleep for long, though… maybe an hour at most. He does sleep easier around Theo, but that’s mostly just when Theo is awake. I think Matthias finds a lot of comfort in knowing Theo is there watching over him. He went through a lot at the reformation school and there were many times within those years where sleep would be abruptly interrupted and then he’d be back on the killing floor, so to speak, so having someone there to watch over him… I think it really helps. Then, on the other hand, Theo sleeps pretty deeply after they’ve been having sex. There’s never a time he feels more cared for and adored than when Matthias is making love to him, so it's... a relaxing experience. It puts Theo's mind at ease and I think it’s probably when Theo feels the safest. So he'll sleep for a long while after, feeling cradled in Matthias's presence, his anxiety finally snuffed out.

As for their actual night routines… hm. They’re very different, especially before and after the start of Echthroi. 

Theo’s night routine stays pretty much the same throughout the story. He’s not one for self-care, like, at all. Because of that, he doesn’t necessarily have a routine… Theo’s honestly only really meticulous in his studies and everything else suffers for it. However, Theo physically cannot fall asleep unless he’s checked the locks on the windows and doors and closed all of the blinds and curtains. That’s the one routine of his he’s always sure to follow through on, even when he’s intoxicated or sleep deprived.

Otherwise, what else he does as part of his “routine” is up in the air. Sometimes he showers before bed, other times he showers after waking up. Sometimes he combs through his hair all nicely and other times he just impatiently rips his fingers through his hair and shrugs. Sometimes he forgets to brush his teeth, other times he forgets that he’s already brushed his teeth and ends up doing it again. He’s a bit of a mess. If he’s actually aware/awake enough to put himself to bed, then he’ll messily wipe any makeup off his face post-clubbing and/or he’ll shower post-hook up (if it’s the pre-Matthias part of Echthroi). If he’s tired from studying he’ll put all of his materials away and then flop down on his bed. If he has to see his parents in the morning then he’ll wind up in the bathroom for too long, brushing his teeth until his gums bleed. If we’re talking about Theo in the post-meeting Matthias part of the story then he might take a cold shower to try and get Matthias out of his head for a little bit, or he’ll find himself laying in bed staring warily at his phone. Hm… and in general Theo will hum lullabies to himself so he can fall asleep easier… it’s a childhood habit.

By nature of Matthias’s insomnia, Matthias doesn’t exactly find himself preparing for bed during the night like most people. He does, however, still run through his personal care routine at around 8pm. He showers, brushes, flosses, cleanses and hydrates, primps and preens, and then he’ll usually find himself entertaining guests or a partner for the night.

For Matthias pre-meeting Theo, he’s often not alone after dark as he has a string of men with whom he takes to his bed or a list of faceless people to call on whenever he wants to be surrounded by bodies and chatter. There are still quiet nights where he’s by himself or just with Imani, but they’re relatively few and far between. For Matthias post-meeting Theo… woof. He did sleep around here and there still, but I think he gave it up pretty early on… his mind was always swimming with thoughts of Theo and he couldn’t focus on nor did he find himself interested in the men he’d have under him. So after meeting Theo his usual night circuit changes and he often finds himself staying home and reading with some wine and the occasional glance at his phone, waiting for a response. Matthias does a lot of waiting when it comes to Theo.

If they're together at night (when they’re dating), then Matthias will usually make dinner for Theo. He likes feeding him (by hand, even, though Theo often protests). Normally Theo will have a few textbooks with him that he can study from while he waits for dinner and he always winds up going "give me a minute" when the food is finally done. They'll enjoy each other's company just fine at home or they'll go out for a drive or a walk. Theo often winds up getting roped into following along with Matthias's night routine and will poke fun at how fussy Matthias can be as Matthias does skincare beside him in the bathroom. Theo tries to get away with studying again later in the night, but Matthias likes to distract him as he’s personally offended whenever Theo whips out his textbooks past, like, 11PM. In general, they'll wind up having sex at some point, or multiple points, and then they'll shower together. After they towel off and Matthias dries Theo's hair, Matthias will most likely end up reading to Theo until Theo falls asleep. If Theo wakes up during the night, Matthias simply kisses him back to sleep.

#i feel like i should add a cw for theo brushing his teeth like that but have no idea what i’d tag it as… #river dipping #asks #anonymous #oc extras #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #ts4 #laying on my stomach in bed kicking my feet in the air and smiling at my laptop screen <3 love you toooooo #i'm sorry it took me so long to get around to replying to this but the horrors... yk how they can be i'm sure #literally took me weeks to write this out... those questionnaires took a toll on my brain clearly but i love them so it's okay #let this get away from me in length a bit but. well. dennis reynolds voice i've got shit to say etc. etc. #no but ummm... honestly my personality disorder is still being a little crazy atm so i'm still not really ready to talk much um. #and i'm probably going to continue to stay offline here for a few more days... #but i wanted to finally post this bc i really am sorry for how long it took me to get around to it... #and i also wanted to say thank you to everyone who sent me messages even if i didn't respond bc i felt embarrassed. huge kisses <3 #seeing the ''24 days ago'' timestamp on this as i finally go to hit post... woof. again i'm so sorry 😭 thank you for letting me talk #your ear off about them tho!!! seriously so grateful to have someone who's curious abt them like huuuge kisses for you as well!

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

one thing i'm really really fascinated by is the fact that everyone in the modern pokemon world seems to consider the deities a power source, nothing more. the games generally imply that knowledge of the legendaries has been lost to time and legend and only preserved by a select few who keep to the Ancient Ways but i don't really think that sounds likely. i think they might be common knowledge people just don't seem to. conceptualize them as greater than in the way that we generally think of them. "this is a divine force that underpins reality and has been worshipped since antiquity" is not a thing that seems to have any problem coexisting with "i'm going to put this thing in an engine and make it my tool." and it's very frequently the baddies doing this which maybe weakens the point a little but very rarely is the point of contention with the bad guys "hey you shouldn't do that to god" that's kind of like, never the part of their thing that people object to. it's always their motives, never their methods. when the Good Guy (local ten year old) catches god and makes it their new partner, nobody has a problem with it! and people joke about this but i'm saying it might imply a way deeper facet of society than people give it credit for.

and is this maybe trying to force the round peg of pokemon legendaries into the square hole of actual religion. very possibly! the games aside from pla certainly seem only very occasionally interested in treating these creatures as gods or godlike or worshipped in any way, and far more often just want to treat them as regular pokemon But Stronger. so it's maybe not reasonable to try and say these entities are deities. but the problem is they are! it's not like this isn't supported textually, it's just... not a part of canon that canon is actually interested in. dialga, palkia, the lake trio, kyogre, groudon—these things are gods. canon can mince words and call them legendaries and "worshipped as deities maybe sometimes" but when you get to the point where you're discussing something that represents a fundamental force governing reality and/or can end the world on a whim then idc what you call it. that's a god.

but the problem is that they are gods and also pokemon, they're both simultaneously. and people in the pokemon world seem to have worked this out, and have had the collective realization that the gods are truly not exempt from their own rules. they can be captured, they can be subjugated, they can be used. this also ties back in with the whole anarchism discussion obviously but it's just the fact that like. it goes way deeper than everyone being fine with the ten year old putting the lord of time in a ball. the entire world operates on the premise of "eat your gods."

does that like... contradict worship? can you be faithful to something knowing it's been used as a tool?

#the nemesis speaks #pla analysis #this is essentially one long rambling conversation with myself because i should really be going to bed #this all also hinges on the pokemon/trainer relationship conceptually which ive never had a chance #and/or willingness to really try and dig into that bc it's like. #an idea that feels intuitively easy to grasp but would be way more difficult to explain in words #it's not... it's really not like anything we have in the real world. it's Different. #but like. gestures vaguely. also relating to the distinction btwn Tool and Partner in that relationship #and how the former is generally how the Bad Guys lean wrt both their pokemon AND the gods #whereas the latter is how the protagonist and most non-evil people approach it. #anyway. going to bed now promise promise #but im not even talking about the key players in the games i'm talking about the regular guys! the everyday randos! #religion is so integral to our societies and it's clear that this was at least in the PAST a thing that the pokemon world people possessed #but... what about the modern day? are dialga and palkia still worshipped? reshiram and zekrom? xerneas and yveltal? #another of the many. many many reasons i want to Do Something with the hypothetical history sitting around in my notes #cause it also comes back around to this concept of people using gods as tools #OKAY. SLEEP. NOW.