I think it’d be funny if Dick and Jason, due to wearing bright yellow capes on the job for years, are capable of stealth to a frankly unhinged degree. They barely have to try anymore it’s so second nature. Dick can just completely disappear while in the loudest neon clothes imaginable. Jason is constantly startling people who don’t understand how they missed a guy the size of a fridge standing right there. Bruce is extremely grateful for his unbreakable poker face because they have both startled him by accident and would never ever let him live it down if they knew.
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capes for are losers > capes are for losers
yes i could fix it, no i will not. the sa sa le le energy stays
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society if Two-Face was Batman's arch-nemesis instead of the Joker:
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shoutout to Jim Gordon because that man has to deal with Bruce Wayne & his children in multiple identities and has to pretend he doesn't know they're the exact same people.
Batman: I know it's been a rough night with the Arkham breakout, but we need to go offline for an important mission.
Jim Gordon, who knows full well that Bruce Wayne is about to host a gala and let his kids run absolutely wild terrorizing attendees: ...important?
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There should be more Justice League/Superbat fics where most heros arent really sure if Batman is even real or only know him as
"Supermans Demon Boyfriend Who Hangs Around And Can Be Convinced to Help The League Sometimes"
with like full weird off putting batman who sticks to the shadows and moves with all the wicked grace of an executioners axe and definitely an alien comforting but to bright to look at for too long Superman
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Superman: Are you sure this is the right spot? I mean who robs a bank in the middle January in Gotham?
Batman: Yes I’m sure. My informant is never wro- hn?
Nightwing: Open up please I’m cold.
Batman: …
Nightwing: …
Batman: *opens cape*
Nightwing: thank you!
Superman: uh..
Red hood: Move over I’m freezing out here!
Red Robin: Nightwing get to the back! You gotta make room!
Superman: ???
Spoiler: Agent A was right! I should have taken the winter suit! Excuse me, pardon me!
Orphan: … scoot.
Signal: T-thanks, B!
Robin: Fools! The lot of you! I have a legitimate reason to seek shelter! My winter suit is in need of repairs!
Batman:*Sigh*
Superman: How were you able to all fit under there?
Red Robin from inside the cloak: Hammer space! Ow!
Nightwing from inside the cloak: Don’t joke about that!
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For request: Tim and Duke drinking slushies?
schlurrp
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I recently was thinking about Batman's magic cape that can perfectly hide his children, but what if it's a bit more obvious than the batfam think.
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do you think Bruce ever lies awake at night thinking about all the things he has taught his kids and how it seemed like a good idea at the time but maybe some of those habits are actually more bad than good
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Art block is killing me so I’ve been enjoying Robin era Jason again
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justice league babysitting
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"One of us is a grown ass man in underwear, and it definitely isn't me..."
The entire tower scene is very brutal, but also very funny. Jason really thought he was doing something wearing that get-up 🤨.
Tim had every right to make fun of him (give me less "oh woe is me" Tim and more "you sucked as Robin") like damn some of those lines gotta stung. Did not blame Jason for beating him up after those comments cause Tim was asking for it ngl 😭.
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I've had this brainrot about an batfam AU for quite some time now and I haven't had the time to write it so I just gonna share it with y'all.
So it's an AU where Thomas and Martha never die and Bruce never becomes batman but he still adopts all of his kids. Then one of his kids (preferably Jason cuz' it would be the funniest) goes in another universe for some bullshit reason and has to deal with his vigilante family.
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Jason: "Where are my grandparents?"
Bruce: "As in Alfred?"
Jason: "No, as in Martha and Thomas... your parents."
Bruce: "Jason, they're dead."
...
Jason: "You want to tell me that my grandparents, who are very much alive, died and turned my dad into an anti-social emo furry and made it everybody else's problem?"
Rest of the family: "Sounds about right."
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