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breyito · 5 months

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Raze your past, forge your future

TITLE: Raze your past, forge your future AUTHOR/ARTIST: @breyito (read also on AO3) SUMMARY: When Jason first got back to Gotham and put that bomb under the Batmobile, he didn't change his mind. WORD COUNT: 1,151 FANDOM: Batman - All Media Types | Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) | Red Hood: Lost Days | Batman (Comics) RELATIONSHIPS: Talia al Ghul & Jason Todd & Damian | WayneJason Todd & Bruce Wayne TRIGGERS/WARNINGS: Jason Todd-centric, Jason Todd Deserves Better, BAMF Jason Todd, Dead Joker RATING: Teen and up ADDITIONAL NOTES: Hello again! LONG time no see lmao New series, huge love for my favorite character lol Today I'm in a much better mood than usual, so you get some humor, some vengance and some fluff! (It's been such a long time since I've written fluff omg) Enjoy!

When Jason first got back to Gotham and put that bomb under the Batmobile, he came this close to changing his mind, to let all the effort he spent crawling under the chassis of that monster of a car go to waste. His fingers clenched and his fists shook and he almost threw the remote far away from him the minute he saw Batman emerging from the shadows. But, in the end, he didn't. And he thanked his lucky stars he hadn’t smashed that control to bits the moment he decided Bruce wasn’t dying tonight.

Now, that was mainly because Joker was out of Arkham (again) and Batman and his new Robin were on the case (again). The new Dynamic Duo had just arrested him and locked him in the cage in the back of the car and...well, Jason was only human, but he recognized the signs of a heaven sent gift. He saw the perfect opportunity and took it. How could he possibly refuse this? Not only would the bomb get rid of that pest , it would also scare the cuckoo birdie to high heaven and it would drive Batman crazy . He would obsess over the bomb and how it bypassed his security, how he didn't notice anything amiss, how vulnerable his system was, how it could have ended his and his little cuckoo’s lives…but mostly, he would wonder, forever (or until Jason revealed himself) , who had done it.

He needed to create a quick distraction on their way out of the city. Jason knew the route they would take like the palm of his hand, so it wasn’t difficult to steal a bike and surpass them, to gather supplies. His info on the comings and goings of the city might not be up to par with the Bats, but he had done his homework and read up about it on his way here. And he knew exactly which happy trigger thugs were gonna help him kill the clown.

A couple of quick blown up Molotov cocktails in between those gang territories and the goons were going at it with gusto. Batman, being the meddling nosy bastard he is, had to leave the car to minimize loss of life. But he also left cuckoo-Robin behind. So Jason needed to up his game. He did this by throwing a Molotov filled with sand and dish soap directly at the Bat, so that it clung to whatever material the new uniforms were made of.

Of course, Robin immediately jumped to his aid. The only reason he didn't barbecue the cuckoo bird too was that he wanted all the attention to be on the clown's death, and nothing else, the cuckoo-Robin was just so lucky tonight. .

“One way ticket to Hell, coming right up.” As soon as the kid was out of range Jason activated the bomb. “Rest in pieces but never in peace.”

The Batmobile went flying sky high and the charred clown's body was expelled from the windows (as in, from several windows because the corpse was in several parts) to complete and utter silence. The whole city went deadly quiet for a whole minute. He could practically feel the disbelief everyone exuded when that fuckers head (green hair unmistakable) went thud-thud-roll until it stopped at Batman’s left boot. Not even in his dreams the outcome could have been better, it was like it had been rehearsed or some shit.

Jason had to stay very still and very silent, swallowing up his laughter at the two heros’ faces. Then the ambulances came and the chaos re-started. Jason bolted from the apartment window he had been waiting on and onto his bike and lost himself in the crowd trying to flee the scene as to not be next (ah, gotta love the old Gotham’s instinct to go to ground and mind your own business when the Bat was on the scene and causing explosions) to one of his safe houses.

He had had four he was sure no one knew about, having set them up as an exercise in stealth and backup plans, and this was the nearest and most complete one. He plugged the ancient computer there and linked it to several proxy servers to make sure it couldn’t be traced back to this address (at least not that quickly). Reaching into his jacket, pulled several credit cards he had ‘liberated’ from assholes since he had landed in Gotham (it was instinct, alright? It’s not like any of them will actually miss the money that much) and he bought half a dozen suspicious plane tickets to several destinations for that night. Still, he cleaned up every trace of Bat related stuff in the apartment, leaving it looking like a normal space instead of a husk, just in case. By then, it was already mid morning, so he left for another one of his safe houses. He hunkered down there and sneaked his way out of Gotham into Bludhaven three days later. From there he took a train to New York, mingling with a bunch of college students. From New York he flew to England, on the periphery of a similar-looking family. Once in England he slept for almost a day and then took another plane to Nepal and then, finally , managed to get to Nanda Parbat. And to Talia.

Much to his surprise, he had managed to impress her. Ra's too, although the old goat wouldn’t admit it (still, Jason could feel the assessing looks the man threw his way; it always made the hair on his neck stand up). As a reward for killing Batman's ‘greatest enemy’ right under his nose and getting away with it, he got to choose his training and teachers within the League of Shadows and outside of it.

But best of all, he got introduced to Damian and became an older brother. His murder tour went way better with a little brother to impress. He took more breaks to be able to play with his baby brother and teach him some things here and there. Damian was an entitled little shit, but had a soft soul that he showed only to those he loved (and to animals, he just loved animals) and Jason quickly became one of those. He cherished the time spent with his new little family, and after every monstrous teacher he got rid of, he could rest and recover with them.

Without the menacing shadow of his murderer closing in on him and the knowledge that even without his father’s love he still has worth, his time in the All-Caste was much more healing. His favorite memory turns out to be the first time he woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night to Talia singing a lullaby in Arabic and Damian on his chest, hugging him with his stuffed lion in the middle.

Life was good.

END NOTES: (Turns out *not* having your murderer roam free can do wonders for your sleep and self-esteem. Even if you had to get rid of it yourself.) (He gets re-introduced to them as Damian’s brother and Constantine's student, when some magical emergency occurs and Damian is the only one in the family with a contact he can reach immediately. Damian, who had thought his introduction to the Wayne family at the hands of his brother had made things very clear -even if Jason had been wearing full tactical gear at the time, it was so obvious- in the ‘Jason is alive’ front gets a blast out of their reactions. Jason is less amused by the tears and all the holes poked into him; but gets over it when he gets to save the Dick, the Cuckoo and the Bat using his magic and his All-Blades. He basks in the knowledge that Bruce’s disdain for magic is also bullshit and he got to *prove it* to him.) (The bomb case goes unsolved for years. Jason never brought it up cause he thought they had put 2+2 together when they got the dates of his resurrection and his methods became a *discussion*; but the truth is it didn't even occur to them. It’s hilarious in a sad sort of way and Jason feels the title of ‘greatest detective’ should be revoked, honestly.)

Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it!

#jason todd #batman #joker dies #bamf jason todd #batman 138 fucked me up #and i wanted jason to have SOME revenge #fanfiction

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kittymaine · 1 year

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Free Tire Removal Service

Note: I wrote this for the 40th Anniversary Jason Todd Exchange. This was my gift for G_of_Thorn.

-----

The first time Jason Todd stole the wheels off the Batmobile he was fifteen and it nearly cost him his life. You would think that he would know better than to do it again.

But, Jason wasn’t a fifteen year old kid helpless in the mean streets of Gotham’s seediest districts anymore. He was the big bad Red Hood and he wasn't afraid of the Bat or Two Face or even the Joker (especially the Joker). So, the first time he saw the Batmobile parked in HIS DISTRICT (the nerve, seriously) Jason didn’t hesitate to jack those big beautiful truck tires. Seriously, he didn’t even know they made them that big. He didn’t stick around to see what the Bat would do once he found his ride up on cinder blocks. He rolled those big ass tires all the way to the nearest chop shop, sold them for a mint (because really who was going to try and rip off the Red Hood) and took the money straight to Abuela Gutierrez. She could put the money to good use.

The second time he ran into the Batmobile it was in Tricorner. Not his usual stomping grounds, but he had a hot tip that Carmine Falcone was storing his heroine in a storage unit there and had made a short trip to the island to wire up a little c4 and blow the whole unit to kingdom come. On the way back, he happened to see something glossy black in a narrow alleyway behind a Thai restaurant that had him doing a u-turn on his bike. There she was, the Batmobile, so glossy black it looked like candy paint.

It wasn’t the Bowery, not even close to it. But, Jason ws burning with curiosity about whether the Bat had taken any precautions after his last tidy haul. Besides, he had a collapsible tire iron in his saddlebag.

(The bat had taken precautions and added alarms on all the tires. But, Jason was no amateur and he disabled them before removing all the tires and rolling them the two city blocks to the water's edge and pushing them in.)

The third time wasn’t even him. He was out of town handling a shipment of epi-pens, mifepristone and other needed medications being shipped in from Canada hush hush like through a friend of a friend. He had two clinics set up in the Bowery by then, but keeping them stocked with the real essentials was a pain in the ass that a little bit of smuggling could easily solve for him. Fuck tariffs anyway they could eat his entire ass.

When he came back to Gotham, everyone was talking about how four kids no older than thirteen were seen rolling tires almost as big as them away from crime alley, all of them wearing red hoodies. Jason was so proud he could have cried. There was real hope in the next generation.

He sent a cake and a metric ton of burritos to the houses of each kid and made an announcement to all his guys. Any bat vehicle parked in the bowery was fair game. If any bat tried to give any of his people trouble for fucking with their cars, bikes or fucking unicycles, they could rest assured that the Red Hood would have their back.

Jason had expected that to be the beginning of open season. He was spoiling for a fight, if he was honest. It was either the Bats or Carmine Falcone and honestly he wasn’t all that interested in trying to go up against Falcone yet. He had been funneling the money he made from drugs (only non-addictives), drag races, and gambling dens back into the community. He had set up homeless shelters, free childcare centers, clinics, and children’s homes all throughout the Bowery, all with good people who he knew could be trusted. Anything that was leftover went straight to families that needed it. The Bowery was big, but it was also close and everyone basically lived in everyone else’s pockets. They kept things insular and they took care of their own and it was never hard to ask a few abuelas or nanas about who in the community could use his help the most. Still, that didn’t leave a lot of money left over to invest in weapons or hiring outside goons to go throw themselves into the line of fire.

The bats were the next best thing. The only problem was that they weren’t biting.

Jason had gotten a visit from Batman early on in his campaign to take over the Bowery. It was a joke, honestly. Jason had just started to wage a bloody one man war against Black Mask to push him out of the Bowery. He didn’t have a gang yet, just a duffle bag full of impressive weaponry and a death wish. And one night there Batman was perching on his window all dark and foreboding. Instead of fucking off when Jason took a few pot shots at him, he just started droning on about how Jason was a criminal and if he didn’t stop with all the violence and bloodshed, he would be getting another visit from him and next time he wouldn’t be so nice.

Oh, so scared. /s

What a douchebag.

Jason didn’t pay him any mind. Partially because he already thought that Batman was a grandstanding jackass who only ever showed up if he could get a big front page piece written about him in the Gotham Gazette. Where was Batman when his dad was beating him? Or when his mom was passing out on street corners? It didn’t even have to be particularly his mom and dad. When had Batman ever helped anyone who lived in the Bowery, in the poorest part of the city, like him? Never, as far as he knew. Batman barely ever set foot in the Bowery. The rest of his reason was because he wanted Batman to pick a fight with him. It had been a while since Jason met someone he couldn't beat in a fair fight and he was looking forward to punching the Bat in the face.

Jason succeeded in not just pushing Black Mask out of Gotham, but actually spun his ass out so bad that he was lucky to own one shitty strip club and a bar out in the West End. Batman never showed up again. Jason mostly forgot about him and focused on his own shit.

Until now. Who knew that Jason could still be disappointed in Batman even after all these years?

Despite the open invitation to come fuck with him, no Batman ever showed his face in the Bowery. Batman and all of his associates weren’t seen in the Bowery for months after the kids stole his tires. It was a bummer. Most of his people seemed happy about it though. They were all patting themselves on the back for scaring off the big bad bat. So, Jason shrugged it off. At least it was good for morale.

Until finally one of them showed up.

A late night in May, under cold drizzling spring rain, Jason spotted a bright red spot of color shooting down the streets toward Otisburg, cutting right through the center of the Bowery. He followed it on the rooftops for a while before it pulled into what he thought was a locked underground garage and disappeared. Intrigued, Jason followed.

The garage was locked when he got to it, but he was able to enter the building it was built under and access the garage from there. Inside was a lot of garbage, a few abandoned cars and oh hello. A glossy red coupe with a definitely illegal tint on the windows. Not to mention a garishly obvious stylized R painted on the hood. Jesus. Way to keep a low profile.

Still, Jason was so pumped to finally get a chance to take another pot shot at the Bats that he didn’t just take the tires off. No, he also removed the suicide doors, the bucket seats, and was under the hood working on detaching and lifting out the engine with a chain tossed over a metal support beam in the ceiling when the boy wonder himself finally came back.

“Hey! HEY!” Robin shouted, sprinting at Jason from somewhere in the dark garage, his voice sounding a lot more frantic the closer he got. “OH MY GOD! What have you done to MY CAR?!” he screeched by the time he came to a sliding stop a few feet away from the car itself. Jason had carefully placed each piece he removed from the car beside it so it looked like a halo of car parts surrounding the chassis up on cinder blocks.

“Oh, well look who it is!” Jason sang as he popped up from under the hood holding an adjustable wrench in his hand. “If it isn’t the bird brained idiot who parked his car in my territory. How’s it going, bird brained idiot? Catch any ne’er do wells today?”

“How did you do all this? The seats? THE STEREO?!” Robin bemoaned, going from one item on the ground to the next like he didn’t know where to look.

“Oh my god,” Jason sighed, rolling his eyes so hard he thought he might have seen his brain for a second. He dropped the radiator to the ground with a loud clang and walked over to where the chain hooked around the engine was hanging from a beam in the ceiling and gave it a testing pull. It was still attached in a few spots, since he wasn’t actually ready to take it out yet. But, he could probably pull off his big coup de grace well enough. He had the core strength for it.

“HEY ASSHOLE” Jason shouted and Robin’s head popped up, his face a comic masterpiece of crestfallen and confused.

Once Jason had his attention, he gave a powerful pull on the chain and the whole front of the car lifted off the ground for one brief glorious moment before with a horrendous sound of wrenching metal and torn vinyl piping the last few bits and bobs connecting the engine to the rest of the car gave out and the whole thing ripped free of the chassis, dropping the car back onto the front cinder blocks with a loud clang.

Robin wailed a distraught “NO STOP WHAT ARE YOU-” but froze as his car came crashing down to Earth with an ear shattering bang.

Jason guided the engine block down off the chain and onto the dirty garage floor and then dusted his hands off on his jeans. Robin was still frozen in shock, his hand still half raised toward his car. Jason tapped his adjustable wrench on Robin’s shoulder as he went by him.

“Stay out of the Bowery, twerp,” he said brightly and then strolled out of the garage humming a merry tune.

-----

Jason was exceedingly pleased with how well pranking Robin had gone, but he assumed that would be the end of it for the bats for a while. Batman had obviously gotten the message loud and clear and Jason would eat his own shoe if Robin so much as saw the word Bowery in a book and didn’t shudder in terror. Surely, they had the message now that no bat was safe in the Bowery and he wouldn’t have to worry about seeing any more after that.

Except that Jason developed a shadow just a few days after his run in with Robin.

Once the sun went down and Jason put his helmet on, he could feel that he was being followed. He couldn’t see whoever was following him, but he could feel them. Like a breath on the back of your neck or a sense of foreboding, he knew he was being followed everywhere by unblinking eyes as soon as he donned the Red Hood.

It took a week before Jason finally admitted that he wouldn’t be able to catch whoever it was who was watching them. No amount of turning around or taking strange turns or changing up his routine could shake the feeling of being watched. But, he could at least let them know that he knew he was being watched.

He was on top of his own apartment building, sitting between planters full of cherry tomato and pepper plants still small in their big five gallon pots when he called out, “I know you’re there! You could at least come out and say hello!”

He wasn’t wearing his helmet. It was the end of his night, so he had taken it off and was dragging on a cigarette before heading inside. But, he was still armed and in his body armor and it had been an easy night, except for the constant eyes always putting him on edge. If this was likely to work, he didn’t see why he shouldn’t try it then. Not that he was actually expecting ‘asking nicely’ to work.

So, imagine his surprise when a thin dark figure separated itself from the shadows at the far end of the roof and stepped toward him.

Jason startled so hard he almost dropped his cigarette over the side of the roof. Almost.

“Whoa! Ah, okay, hi hello. I really didn’t think that would work,” Jason stumbled over his words.

The shadow tilted its head at him and oh look it had little bat ears. Guess that answered that.

“You broke Robin’s car,” the shadow said in halting uncertain speech. They also had the voice of a young girl.

“I didn’t break his car, I just disassembled it. He can put it back together,” Jason said with a wry grin. He was tempted to take another drag of his cigarette but wanted to be ready if she lunged at him.

“You stole Batman’s tires,” the little shadow added, stalking closer but staying at the edges of the roof.

“Okay, I did do that. Multiple times, even,” Jason said, his grin turning smug as he remembered the satisfied feeling he had each time he rolled those tires away from that shining black monster of a vehicle.

“Can’t steal my tires,” the little shadow said, it’s voice lilting up in a teasing tone.

“Oho,” Jason laughed, some of the tension bleeding out of his body. He wasn’t sure he could take such a sneaky shadow in a fair fight, but if she just wanted to play, then that was fine with him. “Pretty confident, huh? What makes you say that?”

“Don’t drive,” she said with such a perfectly innocent shrug that it made Jason bray out a loud uncontrolled laugh.

“You got me there!” he said, once he caught his breath. “But, bats and birds still aren’t allowed in the Bowery. I’ll figure something out,” Jason said with a dangerous grin. “I’m the Red Hood, by the way. Don’t think we’ve been properly introduced,” he added with a genteel little sketch of a bow.

“You’re Jason Todd,” the little shadow said confidently and Jason was so shocked he almost fell over. But, luckily he was leaning against the low wall around the roof, so he didn’t. That would have been embarrassing.

“I’m Black Bat,” she said, holding out one slim hand encased completely in ink black kevlar.

Jason took her hand and shook it firmly. She squeezed his hand just as strongly back. “You’re scary as hell, but don’t think I won’t find a way to get the best of you,” he said.

“Good luck,” she tittered and then was gone almost before he could blink.

-----

Jason pondered for a good long while how to catch the Black Bat. If she didn’t drive, then his current method of fucking with the bats was out. He considered just fighting her, as that was normally his go to for dealing with people who didn't listen to him. But, he also liked her and even if she was scary as hell she was also tiny and sounded feminine. He was not ignorant of the optics of a huge tank of a guy like him fighting a girl as tiny as her. That tossed out most of the physical stuff and put him back in prank territory. Something he didn’t have much experience with, if he was honest with himself. So, off to YouTube he went.

There were a staggering array of options when it came to pranking someone, Jason found out. Jason would never admit it, but he lost hour upon hour looking up all the different kinds of pranks people played on each other. A lot of them weren’t options because they were either too mean or required you to live with the person, but finally he settled on one he thought a young girl would probably appreciate. Buying the crafts was a fun experience in ribbing, but Mrs. Cotilla who ran the dollar store was nice enough not to give him too hard of a time for all the weird shit he was buying.

Then, all he had to do was wait for her to show up. Or, for him to feel her eyes on the back of his head and call her down, more than likely.

So again imagine his surprise when he felt eyes on his back but also heard footsteps. Was she getting sloppy? Or was she trying to give him a chance? If that was the case he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Reaching into the pouch on his hip where he had been keeping his secret ammo just for her, Jason whirled as fast as he could and chucked the pouch at where he had heard her coming up on him as hard as he could.

The first thing he saw was an explosion of red and black glitter as his glitter bomb collided with something. The second thing he realized was that the thing his bomb had collided with was not a young girl all in black but a young girl all in eggplant purple who was gaping at him while she was covered head to toe in red glitter.

“DID YOU JUST GLITTER BOMB ME!” she shrieked holding her arms out at her side.

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE BLACK BAT!” he shouted back, holding his hands out palms up.

“Glitter! For me?” Black Bat called, her voice all excitement and teasing as she separated herself from the shadow of a water tank and jumped as light as a cat to stand beside the girl in purple. She picked up the glitter bomb from the ground and gasped in delight as she squeezed it and it rained more sparkling plastic pieces.

Jason pressed a hand to his chest and tried to slow his beating heart. “Shit. Yes,” he gasped, taking a deep breath. “I told you I was gonna get you somehow!” he shouted once he realized that she was there and the glitter trap had finally been sprung.

“You didn’t get her though! You got me!” purple girl shouted, trying to brush the glitter off of her front and only succeeding in grinding it into the fabric more. “God dammit! And it had to be red?”

“Never would have got me,” Black Bat said, tossing the glitter bomb to the ground once it was no longer making little puffs of red sparkles when she squeezed it.

“I’ve still got plenty more of these things. I’ll get you. You’ll see,” Jason blustered, putting his hands on his hips.

“I want the glitter,” Black Bat said, holding her hand out and putting her other hand on her hip mirroring Jason. “Give.”

“What? Fuck. No,” he said, confused and on the backfoot. “Why would I give you the glitter? Hell no.” But she just kept standing there with her hand out looking tiny and threatening. And, Jason had made them for her. And, there was no way in hell he was going to hit her with one of these things. She could at least enjoy his hard work, he guessed. “Goddammit,” he spit and handed her the pouch full of glitter bombs.

She hummed happily as she pawed through the pouch, sending up more little poofs of red glitter dust before selecting a glitter bomb. She weighed it in her hand, tossing it up and down and then whipped it at Jason as hard as a baseball pitcher nailing him square in the forehead. Luckily the glitter bombs were just made of cotton balls, red and black glitter and burlap so he didn’t feel anything but a rain of glitter sprinkle down his face and chest.

“Jesus fuck,” he groaned, not even bothering to try and get the dust off. He knew from experience that it would take days for it to leave his skin and hair.

“Avenged,” Black Bat said to the purple girl.

“That’s why you’re my actual best friend,” purple girl sang.

“This is my friend,” Black Bat said to Jason, gesturing at purple girl with the pouch of glitter bombs she still held in her hand.

“Spoiler,” Purple girl added.

“Spoiler for what?” Jason asked, his nose wrinkling as he frowned and tried to shake glitter out of his bangs.

“No, like, my name is Spoiler. Like, I spoil all your evil plans! Get it?”

“Seriously?” he turned to Black Bat. “You guys let her go out with a name like that?”

“Hey! Like you have any room to talk! You’re not even wearing a hood right now that’s a fucking domino!”

“Hey, this isn’t feedback hour, okay? My name is ironic,” Jason spat back.

“YOU STARTED IT!” purple girl shouted back.

“Hey,” Black Bat interrupted them, poking Jason in the side which gave him a little start because okay when did she get so close. “Spoiler has a bike.”

“Huh? Uh, yeah. Why does that matter?” purple girl asked looking confused.

Jason was also confused for a second before the clouds parted and God smiled down on his poor bedazzled ass and he realized what Black Bat was getting at.

“Did you park it in the Bowery?” he asked with what he knew had to be a truly unhinged looking grin.

“Uh. Yeah? Why?” purple girl answered, but she wouldn’t get an answer. Jason was already sprinting off the roof toward the road scanning for any hint of purple he could see. This girl had a theme and he doubted that her bike had escaped it’s eggplant grasp.

What followed was probably the most fun and chaos Jason had had since ever probably. He was methodically grappling across the Bowery looking for Spoiler’s bike while being chased by a frantic Spoiler who had at some point gotten Jason’s bag of glitter bombs so he was being spiked with them every time she got too close. Black Bat was also zipping along beside them, sometimes helping Jason, sometimes helping Spoiler and just generally being a force of uncertainty.

Jason eventually found the bike parked down near the water but before he could do more than plant his butt on it, Black Bat was flinging him off it. But, for his trouble, she had given him the bag of glitter bombs. So, Jason got to chase Spoiler back across the Bowery pelting her with as many glitter bombs as she had hit him with.

Once both Spoiler and Jason were laying flat on their backs exhausted on a rooftop near Otisburg, Black Bat sat down on Jason’s chest and showed him his pouch filled with all the glitter bombs they must have lost as they chased each other up and down the Bowery. He had no idea how Black Bat had had time to gather them all back up and put them back in the pouch while still chasing the two of them, but she had.

“Now me,” she said with finality and plunked the bag down between the two of them.

So, Red Hood and Spoiler took turns tossing red glitter bombs at Black Bat while she performed what Jason guessed was probably a dance from Swan Lake with all the fluttering of hands. By the time the sun was starting to peak over the edge of the water, turning it into a diaspora of glitter itself, they were all completely covered with a metric ton of glitter.

“Fun,” Black Bat sighed happily, turning her arms in the warm morning daylight and watching them sparkle.

“Yeah. You two are cool,” Jason agreed. He was exhausted. Chasing those two girls all across the city was a tougher workout than any fight he’d ever had. “You can hang with me. But, no boys!” he added loudly.

Spoiler barked a laugh. “No boys allowed!” she agreed. “Only hot girls and homicidal crime bosses.”

“Amen,” Jason said.

-----

Jason was added to a group chat titled ‘two girls and a criminal’ by the next morning. He was more than a little tickled by the name and was glad that one of them had thought to open up a line of communication. That way they could let him know when they were flying through his district and he could warn them about any skeevy shit he heard about through his own channels. He also put the word out with his gang that purple girl and the little shadow were cool and not included in his Fuck Batman five point plan.

Even if that was the intention they mostly just sent memes to him and he mostly just sent pics of his tomatoes and the kids in his after school group, which they fawned over appreciatively anyway.

Spoiler came by irregularly, usually while chasing a case. Despite acting wild and fun in person, she was surprisingly no nonsense about her cases. Most of which were about hustling the other gangs still messing with the lower income areas of Gotham that weren’t under his protection, so Jason was more than happy to feed her whatever information she wanted. Even if he could tell that half the info she was fishing for wasn’t for herself. He didn’t know if it was for Batman or someone else that she was gathering intel and he didn’t particularly care. He trusted Spoiler enough to deal with her regardless.

Black Bat showed up all the time. He wasn’t really sure what her deal was, but she was fun and scary smart and the kids in the Bowery immediately fell in love with her. If the kids liked her, then that was good enough for him. Their asshole radar was honed as sharp as scalpels, so their positive assessment was worth its weight in gold to him.

Plus, she always came along with him to get greasy chili dogs at the hot dog stand outside Papi’s Strip Club which made her a hit with not just him but all the girls and customers there. Within a few months she was as good as any Bowery native, born and raised, as far as the people on the street were concerned.

And then one night at the end of summer Black Bat and Spoiler showed up together, which always spelled trouble, with one more kid in tow.

The three of them landed on Jason’s roof, their feet making hardly any sound on the sunbaked bitumen. Somehow Robin looked smaller and slighter than both the girls, though that might have been because of how they stood in front of him with their backs straight and their shoulders thrown back while he seemed ready to fold in on himself any moment.

“Hey, I thought we said only hot girls and crime bosses,” Jason said mildly, stubbing his cigarette out on the sole of his boot before slowly hauling himself out of the folding chair he had been lounging in.

He didn’t really mind them bringing Robin along. They both mentioned him pretty often, so it wasn’t hard to figure out the three of them were pretty tight. He had figured that it wouldn’t be long before they brought him into their little cadre of crime fighters and criminal.

“Robin basically counts as a girl,” Spoiler quipped, though not a muscle in her body relaxed and her feet remained planted firmly like she was waiting to take a hit.

“Hey,” Robin said weakly from behind her. “In my defense, I don’t even want to be here,” the last bit mostly directed at Jason.

“Robin is good,” Black Bat said, her body language loose and easy. Though for her she could be doing the splits and still be ready for anything. “And, we need him.”

“Oh yeah?” Jason drawled. “What for?”

“For the prank to end all pranks,” Spoiler added with a shark toothed grin that Jason could see even under her full face mask.

“We’ll need his brains,” Black Bat added with a solemn nod.

Jason snorted. “Well then, you kids have come to the right place!” Jason said with a grand sweep of his arm. “As my feathered friend there can tell you, I am the king of pranks! Did you ever put your car back together, by the way?”

“Yes,” Robin snapped out, looking alive for the first time since they dropped down. “No thanks to you.”

“I knew you could do it, kid,” Jason said with a wink that made Robin look so wrong footed and flustered that he almost laughed again. “So, what do you have in mind,” he asked Spoiler.

“We’re going to prank the most untouchable of us all,” she said with a solemn expression. Jason frowned, expecting her to say Batman. He wasn’t above pranking Batman, but he kept so far out of the Bowery lately that he expected he would have to go pretty far afield to get him. Though, if the kids helped him maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. “Nightwing!” Spoiler finished.

“Nightwing?” Jason repeated, totally lost. That definitely wasn’t what he was suspecting. “That guy from Bludhaven? Why him? I thought for sure you were gonna say Batman.”

Spoiler snorted. “Bats has to be the easiest guy in the world to prank. One time I put mouthwash in his mug instead of coffee and I swear he drank from it three times before he poured it out.”

“Last week I put glow in the dark hello kitty stickers all over the back of his cape and he did a whole patrol like that,” Tim chipped in.

“Whipped cream. Up nose,” Black Bat added with a snort and a mime of shooting a can of something up her own nose.

“Jesus,” Jason said, not sure if he should be impressed by their savagery or sympathetic for Batman.

“Nightwing is the real get. He’s the oldest of us and the only one who’s graduated to having his own city to protect and everything. And he’s not beaten down and exhausted like Bats yet. We’ve all tried to get him, but it’s like he has eyes on the back of his head! It’s ridiculous!” Spoiler complained, waving her arms around in frustration.

“He’s a nice guy, though! He’s like my big brother,” Robin added hesitantly. “So, like, we don’t want to go too hard on him.”

“Yes go hard,” Black Bat added.

Jason snorted.

“You’re our ace in the hole,” Spoiler hissed. “You got all of us-”

“Not me,” Black Bat interrupted.

“All of us MORTALS,” Spoiler corrected herself with a haughty glance at a pleased looking Black Bat. “With you we can finally get his ass!”

Jason made a show of thinking about it for a second. There were plenty of reasons not to do it. For one, Jason had negative interest in anything happening outside of Gotham. For another, he knew next to nothing about this Nightwing guy. For third, it might not be wise to make enemies of some unknown mask, even if the other Bat kids were down for it.

But, who was he kidding. He knew he was in from the second they asked.

“I’m in,” he said finally, eliciting a whoop of delight from Spoiler, a little hopping dance from Black Bat and a begrudging look of satisfaction from Robin. “Let’s get to planning. I’ll make pancakes.”

-----

They eventually decided on a multi-prong approach. The girls wanted to go hard on this guy, so they decided to each play to their strengths. Each of them would go after this guy with a prank they felt was the best match for their skills with Jason as the unexpected coup de grace.

They all jumped in the back of one of Jason’s shit cars and rode together for the quick one hour drive on the interstate into Bludhaven. Once they were there, they all jumped on a comm together and then took off in different directions. The game was on.

Jason went straight to his objective. His job was going to take the longest, but he was more than confident he could get it done in time. After the kids piled out, Jason took the car deeper into the city. Bludhaven really was a shithole, even by Bowery standards. At least the Bowery had character and history. Bludhaven was all strip malls and square cheaply built office buildings piled up beside shitty hipster bars stacked beside gaudy department stores. Nothing was much older than thirty years old, yet everything looked run down and dirty. The sidewalks were miniscule, with no room for kids to ride bikes or even walk or cross the streets. Jason drove for over thirty minutes before he saw a single grocery store. Seriously. These people should eat their elected representatives for breakfast.

Eventually he reached the small security door that Robin had marked on the map for him. He pulled his shitty truck up to the alley and hopped out. Just like Robin had advised him, there was a keypad beside the door and entering in the code caused the door to lift up and in like a garage door rather than a normal door. Jason raised his eyebrows behind his domino mask. Swanky. He grabbed his toolbox and welding kit from the back of the truck before heading down the narrow ramp hidden behind the door.

At the bottom of the ramp he pushed through swinging plastic sheeting and found himself in a hidden garage with a bunch of tools and junk strewn around but the crown was definitely the gleaming glossy dark blue bike siting square in the center.

“Hello, baby. I am going to do some truly terrible things to you,” Jason sang.

As Jason got down to work, the earpiece he was wearing crackled to life and the plan finally began.

Tim was the first leg of the plan because, as the girls had assured Jason, he was by far the best liar of all of them. He would get Nightwing to where they needed him to be.

“A great night for patrol, don’t you think?” Nightwing was saying, grunting like he was stretching or climbing over the comms.

“A perfect night,” Robin agreed. “Spoiler’s hot tip is over on Baltic Avenue. Let’s head over and pick out a good spot to stake out.”

Robin and Nightwing kept up a friendly chatter as they ran the rooftops to get to the fake lookout spot that Spoiler had ‘tipped Robin off about’. Jason worked away as he listened, happily disconnecting transmission lines and removing brake pads.

Once they got to Baltic Avenue, Steph’s leg of the plan took over. Robin led Nightwing easy as could be to the roof of an old multiplex. They both laid down on their bellies and pulled out binoculars to keep an eye on a boarded up office building across the street. Robin really was an excellent liar. Jason couldn’t find a hint of deceit in his voice and he already knew he was lying. Maybe Nightwing knew him better, but if he thought anything was off he wasn't giving any hints either.

After letting them lay there and get comfortable for a few minutes, Jason heard a bit of metallic banging and then Spoiler called out “YOU’VE YEE’ED YOUR LAST HAW, PARTNER!” which made Jason laugh so hard that he almost choked on his own spit.

From the other comms he heard a similar guffaw of startled laughter before the sound of something going Shoom! A deep hollow sound came faintly over the comm. There was a wet splat sound and then Nightwing shouting “OH MY GOD” and a much lower, “Dammit Steph,” from Robin. Which Jason took to mean that she had succeeded in nailing them both with her t-shirt canon loaded with hand towels soaked in purple fabric paint.

Nightwing burst out into laughter and the sound of slapping came over the call, so Jason figured he was trying to brush the paint off his suit. But, since it was fabric paint, he was only going to make it worse. That shit was never going to come out.

“Haha, Spoiler! How- Were you there the whole time?” Nightwing laughed, sounding way too pleased for this prank to be working correctly.

“YOU HAVE BEEN BETRAYED!” Spoiler continued to shout. There was a clatter as she tossed her t-shirt canon aside. “BUT THE BETRAYAL DOESN’T STOP HERE!”

“Haha, what the fuck,” Jason heard Nightwing say quietly to himself.

“HARK!” Spoiler shouted. “THE HARBINGER OF YOUR DEMISE!”

At that the sound of absolute chaos took over the comms, the volume getting so loud that the audio started clipping. Jason heard a shout of “CASS!” and “No! It’s in my mouth!” and “AH! NOT ME!” in beats and snatches. He guessed they didn’t care much about secret identities anymore. Not that he cared. They probably already knew his social security number and the last time he had his flu shot.

Jason would have taken his time to really soak in the truly glorious amount of chaos Black Bat was causing, but the fact that she was out lobbing yellow glitter bombs designed by the great Red Hood himself meant that the last part of the plan was in motion. Black Bat's job was to drive Nightwing (and possibly Robin if Nightwing hadn’t yet realized he was untrustworthy yet) to the garage Jason was hiding in, in the hopes of outrunning her on his bike.

Which meant that Jason only had a few minutes tops to put the final touches on his part of the plan. Luckily, in case it wasn’t already evident, Jason was fast as fuck with a wrench and a welding torch and he was very nearly done.

He was just stepping back and wiping sweat from his brow to admire his work when he heard Nightwing and Robin crash down into the alley outside the fake security door. Black Bat and Spoiler were right on their asses, their cackling laughter echoing strangely as they were picked up by multiple mics on the call. Jason took up a spot behind the bike, his arms crossed over his chest in a way he knew made the muscles in his biceps bulge impressively.

Nightwing and Robin scrambled down the ramp into the garage and Nightwing skidded to a halt three or four feet into the garage when he saw Jason and what was left of his bike. Robin almost ran into the back of him, but was able to stop himself and lean around Nightwing with a demonically pleased grin stretching his little gremlin face.

“May I present to you,” Jason said with aplomb. “The Night Cycle!” and here he swept a hand out to indicate the motorcycle that he had masterfully converted into a motorized unicycle. Still a motorcycle, technically! But now more suited to clowns with an adrenaline addiction than to a vigilante.

“Oh my god,” Robin laughed lowly, walking slowly around Nightwing so that he could circle the bike and admire it from all sides.

“Oh My God!” Nightwing exclaimed, sounding a lot more distressed than Robin had.

And now Jason finally took a second to look at Nightwing. He looked ridiculous, splattered all over with pastel purple paint which was covered again with shimmering primary yellow glitter. But, under all of that, he was also probably the fittest guy Jason had ever seen wearing a skin tight kevlar suit of all black accented in bright sky blue with thick dark wavy hair and the kind of jaw and mouth that Jason thought only movie stars from black and white films had.

Excuse me, why did these children not inform him that their ‘brother’ was a walking sexual awakening on legs? They were truly menaces.

Black Bat and Spoiler were by then sprinting into the garage and not bothering to skid to a stop before slamming into Nightwing’s back, who by the power of a core so shredded you could probably grate cheese on those abs, held himself still under their combined weight. They popped up around him to take in Jason’s masterpiece and their reactions were the butter to his toast.

Spoiler screamed in laughter and fell to the ground on her back, laughing so hard it sounded painful. Black Bat was bouncing on the balls of her feet, her grin spread so wide Jason could see it even under her full face mask.

“I want to ride,” Black Bat said, bouncing over to Jason.

“No!” Nightwing exclaimed, speaking for the first time since he saw his new bike. “Wait, no, please! That has to be so dangerous.”

“Aw, let the little lady take it for a spin,” Jason said, holding a hand out to Black Bat to help her up onto the unicycle. Which she took but didn’t use at all as she hopped up.

“Yeehaw. Motherfuckers,” she said before gunning the engine so hard even Jason lunged to stop her from smacking her face full force into the concrete floor. But, she just leaned forward and shot out of the garage full speed up the ramp, screaming all the way.

“Shit, wait!” Spoiler shouted, sprinting after her. Robin was tight on her heels, leaving Jason and Nightwing alone in the garage staring at each other.

“Are you … the Red Hood?” Nightwing asked slowly, moving to put his hands on how hips and then to cross them and then giving up and letting them hang free.

“Yep. That’s me,” Jason said awkwardly.

“How’d they rope you into this?” Nightwing asked, frowning around at the remnants of his bike. He was taking the destruction of his property surprisingly well.

“We’re buds,” Jason answered easily.

“Buds?” Nightwing asked, sounding really stumped, his head popping up to pin Jason with an unreadable look.

“Yep,” Jason said, popping the p on the word. “I failed to prank Black Bat and it was the beginning of the end. I’m one of them now, I guess.” What he just said sunk in a second after he said it and Jason rushed on to add, “A chaos goblin, I mean! Not a bat. Fucking perish the thought.”

Nightwing laughed, a real laugh not a fake or nervous one and Jason’s already battered sexual orientation took another hard hit. Good to know that all the bats were a menace in their own right.

“Well, I guess I should say welcome to the team. Of goblins, I mean,” Nightwing said, sticking out a hand.

Jason took it and Nightwing squeezed his hand tightly on the shake. Jason’s sexuality trembled. “I didn’t know you were a part of the team,” Jason said, resolutely keeping his eyes on Nightwing’s pleasantly smiling face.

“I’m the founding member,” he replied with a toothy grin.

“Oh,” Jason said intelligently, finally letting go of Nightwing’s hand.

“Anyway, why don’t you help me wrangle the rest of the goblins? They’re bound to have wracked up enough property damage for one night anyway,” Nightwing suggested, jerking a thumb over his shoulder back toward the ramp.

“Oh. Yeah. We can take my truck,” Jason grunted, following Nightwing out of the garage.

“Cool,” Nightwing smiled.

Jason’s sexual orientation crumbled with a sigh.

#jason todd #red hood #batfam #Fanfiction #Jason Todd is not adopted #Bamf Jason Todd #kittywrites

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deadsetobsessions · 3 months

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Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.

“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”

God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.

Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.

“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”

“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”

“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”

Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.

“What happened?!”

“My word, master Danny!”

“What is it?!”

“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”

Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.

“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”

“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.

“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.

“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”

The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.

“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”

“Danny.”

“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.

“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.

Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.

“Sorry.”

“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.

“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”

Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…

“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”

“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.

“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”

The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.

“Done.”

“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”

“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”

“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”

“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”

“Very well.”

“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.

——

“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”

“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.

“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”

“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”

Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.

“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”

“Tt.”

“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”

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bruciemilf · 1 year

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Bruce who has no idea how terrifying he actually is.

Tim one day decides that his boredom overrides his siblings' need for peace and quiet. So, like the little agent of chaos he is, he brings up the dreaded question.

"In your unbiased opinion, who's the strongest in the family?"

Immediately all of them go, "Cass." She's smiling shyly about it, but there's a silver of assured confidence in there.n

Tim sighs. Fine. Too easy. " Okay, maybe that narrows it down. Who's most dangerous? I vote Dick."

Dick doesn't even need to think about it. "Aw, thanks, Timmy! I think I'm gonna go with Ja--" Damian's holding a dangerously sharp pencil to his windpipe. "Dami. Of course it's Damian."

Jason scoffs, "Clearly, it's me. That's like, my whole thing remember? I'm the violent robin--"

"Todd, we all know you gave stickers and cartoon bandages to every Rogue you had to arrest. You had gumball smoke bombs." Jason's 100% turning red and Tim is so gonna tease later.

"Besides, both you and Grayson are wrong."

Damian? Giving someone else credit? That, they have to hear. "Who is it, then?"

"It's Baba, obviously."

Jason breaks in a fit of laughter, alongside them. "Oh come on! Bruce? Bruce, who bakes awful vegan cupcakes for the PTA? He literally starts crying everytime we watch Toy Story 3."

"Because the unethical treatment within prison complexes and unfair labor laws forced upon inamtes parallels gets to him! Nevertheless. Baba could defeat mother. What makes you think he'd have a hard time with you?"

Dick snorts, " I think you're being a bit biased,--"

Damian throws a batarang at Bruce, slicing through the air with a quickness.

Their dad is reading reports, but not only does he evade it, sends it back with venomous speed. Right next to Damian's cheek. A purposeful missed shot.

Later, after they recovered from that whiplash, they ask Bruce the same question, and he of course goes with the most logical answer, " Alfred. But I think any of you could defeat me easily."

That doesn't make them feel better at all.

#dc #dc comics #batman #jason todd #bruce wayne #batfamily #dick grayson #damian wayne #text post #text #let bruce be a top threat pls #he just has to be unaware #like im sorry this mf can fught mutants and gods and whatever atrocity gotham cooks up as a rich kid with a strong immune system???#BAMF #bamf bruce wayne

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yjcorefourenjoyer · 6 months

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An AU where Batman when Jason dies, comes up with dark reasons why keeping villains alive is better than killing them. And it continues to get darker and more detailed the longer he’s in grief.

So when Tim become Robin he keeps on accidentally hearing Batman mutter to himself stuff like:

“Death is a mercy they doesn’t deserve”

“My revenge is something hell can’t reproduce”

“Let justice decide their fate”

“I won’t become like them. I’ll become worse, and I’ll do it while keeping to my rules”

and he just has to sit there pretending he can’t hear as Batman lists horrible reasons why keeping all the villains alive is better then just straight up killing them for his own sanity.

so early Tim’s motto when he wanted to kill a villains who was hurting people close to him and 100% deserved to die was:

“If i kill them now my revenge will end and hell’s will begins. I have to keep them alive so mine can continue”

Ofc as Batman recovers from all the grief of losing his son, and training the new Robin, he slowly stops thinking and saying stuff like that. Tim also knows that this thought process is wrong but it never fully goes away….

Years later when everyone is hanging out, Jason is complaining about why they have to keep the Joker alive and Tim just says what he used to say to himself all the time, out loud.

Tim: “if you kill the joker now your chance at revenge ends and hell’s begins, death is a mercy he doesn’t deserve. keep him alive, show him what hell wishes they could.”

And there’s just horrified and concerned looks from everyone in the room.

——————————————————————————————————

just a Au I enjoy exploring every once in a while. This would never happen but I love see a Tim with a slightly darker side to him that comes out every once in a while :p . hope you enjoyed it too

#tim drake #batfamily #jason todd #bamf tim drake #unhinged tim drake #chaotic tim drake #batfam #dc comics #bruce wayne #dc batman #batman

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secretnimh · 3 months

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It's movie night, and they're watching The Princess Bride. If you don't think Eddie would have a DC Blue Beetle popcorn bucket, you're mistaken

#dc #jason todd #rose wilson #eddie bloomberg #my art #bamf's art #Jason brought his copy of the book so he could make comparisons while they watch #Spoiler; he likes the movie better #The commentary gets annoying though and Rose may physically attack him about it #Eddie hogs the popcorn and pulls a nose-goes to get out of replenishing the snacks when they're gone #trying so hard to like drawing again. It's almost working :-(

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mochinek0 · 1 year

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Where is MY Boyfriend(FINAL)

Damian proposes.

Marinette: No

Damian: What?

Marinette: Damian, we've only been dating for five months.

Damian: You kicked the Joker's ass for me. You saved me!

Marinette: And if I hadn't saved you....would you still be proposing?

Silence.

Marinette: Exactly. Let's get to know each other better first

Damian: Fine, but I save you next time.

Marinette: How?

Damian shows off his katana collection. Marinette turns and looks at him

Marinette: Deal

She goes back to looking at the katanas. Damian ego boosted that she trusts him.

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BatFam find out she rejected him

Bruce: Oh thank god.

Jason & Damian: What the hell?

Dick: She's adorable!

Bruce: You just met her! At least she's smart enough to realize that!

Tim: Also, if she said yes, she likely would have been after the Wayne money.

Damian: Didn't think about that

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3 months later:

Damian proposing each month

Marinette: You have to stop proposing!

Damian: But I have your parent's blessing

Mairnette: You called my parents?

Damian: I had to get their blessing.

Marinette turns red

Marinette: 1 year

Damian: Huh?

Marinette: We've been dating for eight months. Wait four more. I want this to last, please. I don't want this to end and I'm afraid it will. I love you. I love Titus and lil Alfred. I love Jerry and Batcow. I love your art and how much you understand me.

Damian sees she's tearing up. Gets up from kneeling and hugs her. Kisses her forehead.

Damian: 1 year.

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True to his word, Damian proposed on their one year anniversary.

Marinette: Yes.

Parents learn they are finally engaged. Happy for their daughter.

Former class learns Mari is never coming back and happily engaged to someone on another continent.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joker's mouth is finally healed.

Breaks out of Arkham and tries to take control of an art auction.

Spots Damian Wayne. Looks around cautiously.

No Marinette in sight.

Marinette comes out of the bathroom.

'Fuck!'

Drops his weapons and laughing gas.

Joker: Nope. Nope. Nope.

Goons: Boss?

Joker: No!

Walks out to GCPD and just gets in the back seat

Officer: J-Joker?

Joker: No!

Slams door closed

Joker: Just take me back

Marinette looks to Damian confused

Marinette: Did I miss something?

Damian: Not a thing.

TAG LIST: @animeweebgirl @a-star-with-a-human-name @meme991001 @vixen-uchiha @abrx2002 @alysrose-starchild @fandom-trapped-03 @dood-space @moonlightstar64 @saltymiraculer @marveldcedits20 @09shell-sea09 @icerosecrystal @animegirlweeb @insane-fangirl-of-everything @blueblossombliss @nickristus-dreamer @megawhitleycalderonpaganus @missmadwoman @meira-3919 @princessdaisysolosyourfaves @blep-23 @fangirlingfanatic @darkhinauniverse @ravenr22 @im-a-satanic-ritual @ravennm84 @bianca-hooks123 @a-slytherinish-gryffindor @starling218

#damian wayne #marinette dupain cheng #daminette #dating #proposal #rejection #comprimise #damian x marinette #marinette x damian #batfam #bruce wayne #tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #joker #mlbxdc #bamf marinette #bonus content #mochinek0

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luliaka · 4 months

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Fanon I hate: that Jason could easily beat Dick in a fight. In canon, Dick is significantly more powerful than Jason. He’s one of the most powerful non-meta hand-to-hand fighters in the world. Yes, in reality, a bigger, stronger guy would win — but this is comic book logic! Yes, in reality having guns means you’d probably win — but comic book heroes can dOdGE BuLLeTs.

You could argue that Dick would be weakened because he’s trying not to kill and Jason doesn’t have that hang-up, but that didn’t stop Dick from beating Deathstroke.

Canon power ratings go like: Cass > Dick > Bruce > all the other bat kids.

#dick grayson #jason todd #canon vs fanon #batfam #hypercompetent dick grayson #bamf dick grayson

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snakeredbirdbatkatana · 4 months

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I will be your Blade Point Me

Loyalty was a trait Janet Drake respected above all others.

It can give you power, fame, money to have someone's loyalty was to have their life.

Tim has always given his all. His people whatever they need they have. May it be his mind, his skills, or even his weapons.

If Dick Grayson demanded the shirt off his back he would remain naked till the end of his days.

Very few times has anyone actually used it the first to test it was Jason.

"Hey Jay.. What's up you never call?"

Tim's phone is always ringing from Wayne Enterprises to his assorted friends he can't remember it being silent. Yet the shock when HighWay to Hell started blaring almost sent him into cardiac arrest.

"Need a favor. Think you could meet me at that safe house you keep pretending not to break into?"

"Yah no problem also it's not breaking in when you leave the window unlocked. Give me ten."

Jason doesn't do favors. He would rather die again than ever ask for shit.

When it comes to Tim though he's not an idiot. During his return to Gotham he researched, knew everything about him from his favorite color to when he fucking peed.

Part of his research specifically including who trained the third Robin. Nevermind that watching the kid fight for more than ten minutes gives it away.

Lady Shiva, Ra's just to name a few. He moves almost exactly the same as Cass. Hides in the shadows better than Damian. The whole creepy debacle with Mr. Old as Fuck just furthered Jason hypothesis.

Baby Bird, Bruce's prized protege isn't none lethal.

"I need you to kill someone."

Tim in the back of his mind expected it.

Jason for all he is exactly like Bruce doesn't respond the same. To him protection is blood soaked, a knife to the throat is a greeting. Kindess was shrouded and wasn't offered without losing a part of yourself.

"Joker I'm assuming?"

He expected a bit of a fight maybe a lecture at least for him to pretend, not whatever it is Replacement is doing.

"He hasn't broken out of Arkham in months haven't heard shit and I hear your in the same business as me nowadays. What you say about helping a brother out?"

He wonders if Jason is aware of how his voice cracked. The pleading that was heard the unspoken because I can't. Tim couldn't imagine looking Jason in the eye and saying no. Watching your son bend and demanding he break.

"Hate to burst your bubble, but I already did, I know you think the worst of me but I wasn't gonna let your murderer keep kicking his feet."

He tosses the drive he's been sitting on almost three months before heading back to the window.

"I know we got our shit Jay but your my brother. This is something you needed to be able to sleep at night. You shouldn't feel like you have to beg. I honestly thought you had known and didn't want to acknowledge it."

Jason can't breathe as he shuts his computer. Thirty hours of torture his baby brother broke the Joker in ways that turned his stomach.

He climbs into bed his eyes shutting sleeping without a nightmare for the first time in years.

He can't ever repay Tim nothing will ever be enough but he is gonna do everything to try.

He wonders if Ra's might need the same treatment?

#tim drake #batfamily #jason todd #dead joker #Bamf Tim drake #Bamf Jason Todd #tim drake is a menace #Tim drake kills people #damian wayne #dick grayson #bruce wayne #bamf batfamily #batfam

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frownyalfred · 1 year

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random girl at a party: *describing how some guys harassed her on the street last night*

Jason, listening casually secretly seething: oh wow that’s wild

also Jason: you, uh, remember what they look like?

#yes this is the dialogue from The Town #and yes I know I wrote like two fics about this #but I love the trope your honor #maybe this should appear in dead man’s party 🤔#bruce wayne #batman #dc #batfamily #jason todd #red hood #bamf Jason todd #the town #Ben affleck you were great in this #and Jeremy renner

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ao3statistics · 3 months

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Date of creation: 12.01.2024

Tim for the win again.

There were no results for Luke Fox.

I assume no guarantee or liability for the completeness, correctness and accuracy of this chart despite my best efforts.

Includes fanfictions in all languages available on Ao3, NOT English only.

More charts will follow. :)

Want to have a chart for different pairings, headcanons etc. in your favourite fandom? Send me an ask!

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oldmannapping · 14 days

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Fic: The Business Card, Chapter 2 (final)

Summary: The Red Hood has a business card. If he gives it to you, it means you're under his protection.

Bernard Dowd has one of these cards.

Bernard Dowd is kidnapped anyway.

Bernard Dowd's kidnappers don't have a very good time.

In this chapter: Bernard is returned safely to Tim, whose love-language is overly obsessive security measures and invasions of privacy. Dick wants to hug everyone. Jason needs a smoke. Bruce is there too.

Excerpt:

Tim’s eyes were tightly closed and he rocked himself and Bernard, shifting his weight from foot to foot like he wasn’t aware he was doing it. “There'll be electrified traps and sensors around each of your windows and all access points into the building. I’m also thinking of getting double-glazing and organising bulletproof glass, maybe a panic room and definitely a tracers that can be sewn into all of your clothes-“

“Tim.” Bernard’s voice was slightly strangled now. “Ribs.”

Tim jumped back, pulling his hands away sharply. “Sorry! Ohmygosh, I didn’t-“ His gaze turned to Hood, who was rearming the new security on Bernard’s window. “You swung him through the city with BROKEN RIBS???” His voice reached a near-shriek.

Read it here

#batman fanfiction #red hood #jason todd #bruce wayne #tim drake #dick grayson #roy harper #batfamily #bernard dowd #tim drake/bernard dowd #bamf bernard dowd

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curious-trickster · 7 months

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Jason protecting deaged!Tim from an unnamed threat.

I had serious Tim and Jason brainrot today.

Please don't steal my art, I work hard on it. If you want to use it, ask for permission first!

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deadsetobsessions · 3 months

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Danny used to be a vigilante, firmly on the side of good. Like, illegally, but morally good.

Danny’s 100% sure that whatever he is now, it’s not good.

Is Gotham’s influence just Like That?

He was homeless when he got to this thrice damned city (literally, because Lady Gotham was so cursed) and now he’s… here? In a mid-level penthouse with a rotation of homeless kids going in and out of his kitchen and eating out his pantry??

Danny adjusted the cuffs of his dress shirt, making the conscious decision to ditch the tie. He’s a tall 6ft 4 now, taking after his Dad. His head smarted all of the time, hitting doorframes when he was being a bit clumsier than the normal ghost-like grace he had learned to channel as The Phantom.

The Phantom instead of just Phantom. Why? Because Phantom was the name of a teenage vigilante in another dimension. The Phantom, on the other hand, is an intimidatingly tall, deceptively kind, extremely dangerous kingpin.

Honestly? Danny didn’t even want this life. Like, he had no idea it would snowball like this??

He supposed that it all started when the Penguin was trying to snatch kids off of his block on Crime Alley. Not officially his block, of course, because Danny didn’t actually enter this city to be a crime-shadow thing. But he hadn’t lost enough of Phantom the Vigilante to ignore kids getting hurt. He still hasn’t, if he’s being honest. He flew into a frantic search, tracking down the missing kids to Penguin’s bar. The Iceberg Lounge. Apparently, he wanted the kids to do some menial tasks and what not. Danny, rage flickering through his core, intangibly went in and robbed Penguin of every coin and secret the man kept.

Then? Danny blackmailed the Penguin to guarantee his kids a measure of safety from the Rogue. That began the slippery slope into whatever it is he does now. Penguin was being kept in line by Danny’s threats, the grip he had on the Rogue’s weak points, and a wonderful bit of intimidation.

——

“What, you stinking phantom? I’m stickin’ to yer rules!” Penguin snarled, forced to his knees by invisible blob ghosts.

Danny, salty and pissy from the lack of sleep he’d experienced trying to keep Penguin’s men in line as a result of Penguin trying to test where Danny’s lines were, dropped the temperature to the point where Penguin started shivering. Considering the place was already cold- the Iceberg lounge lived up to its name- it meant that Danny was standing nonchalantly in a room that was negative twenty five degree Celsius in a sweatshirt, Danny was already making good on his natural intimidation factor.

“It’s The Phantom to you, Oswald.” Danny said, in the tone of someone saying “it’s the shit, to you.”

Danny narrowed his blue eyes, letting a tiny tint of ectoplasm make his eyes glow a bit in the suddenly icing over room.

“Your people have been getting on my nerves, Oswald. Roughing up kids is so… uncultured. Are you sure you’re a Cobblepot?”

Penguin snarled, the effect of which was rendered ineffective due to his increasingly violent shivers. Plus, Danny loomed over him without even trying.

Danny, annoyed and asking himself “What Would Dan Do To Intimidate This Guy?”, gripped Penguin’s shoulder and hauled him up one handed. He dragged the mob boss over to one of the booths, avoiding the bodies he’d dropped (non-lethally) when Danny first walked in to ruin Penguin’s night. He shoved Penguin in chair he iced over, because Danny’s petty and if he saw one more bruise on his kids at Penguin’s hands, Danny was gonna go full Dan the Murderer.

He at least allowed to room to warm up before laying into Penguin, though. He stayed standing. Hey, he had the height advantage to use. He could have kept Penguin kneeling, but it was probably god the best that the mob boss got some sense of pride back.

(Danny had no idea that sitting as someone loomed over you to lecture and threaten you was even worse than kneeling. At least with kneeling, you knew where you stood. But sitting? It leaves you horribly off kilter.)

“I told you to keep your people in line. Kids are off limits, Oswald.”

“I kept them in line!”

Never let it be said that Oswald Cobblepot had a normal functioning sense of self preservation.

“Really?” Danny jabbed his pointer finger lightly on top of Penguin’s trachea and allowed his fingernails to sharpen into Phantom’s sharper digits. Penguin tried to lean away. “Then why did they start a gun fight when there were kids visible on the street? Why did I see one of my kids get hit by one of your poor excuses of a bouncer?”

“I-”

“Don’t care much for your excuses, if I’m being honest. I let you mess around with the little projects you have, without even breathing a whisper of your secrets. Sionis would love to know how you double crossed him the last deal, yeah?”

“I- I’ll keep them in line!” Penguin stuttered.

“Well, I believe in second chances,” Danny bullshitted. Ancients, how was this even working? “So I suggest you make an example of the guy that smacked Hailey around before I make an example out of you, Oswald.”

“Fine! Fine!”

——

And with that, he got access to Penguin’s resources and men and more importantly, the corrupt police officers. He made Penguin “boot out” the pedophilic ones (in a very violent way) and kept the rest.

Then? Mr. Freeze froze over the god damn pipes and Danny had to intimidate and make a deal with the Rogue so he and his increasing roster of orphans had access to warm water.

In exchange for Danny’s restorative and, more importantly, unmelting ice, Mr. Freeze was now Danny’s… on-call enforcer?? When he’s not researching cures for his frozen in a pod wife, that is.

Danny was satisfied with that. He was! But then Black Mask happened, with the man trying to engage in a battle of wits with Danny over the control of Crime Alley which, at that point, was firmly Danny’s territory.

The thing is, Danny doesn’t play nice anymore. Why bother with pointless mind games when he could just…

——

“So, you’re The Phantom.”

“And you’re Sionis.”

Black Mask twitched at the name, gloved hands pulling out his guns. Danny sat on the counter, head touching mid cabinet, and sipped out of Sionis’ favorite mug.

Because Danny broke into Black Mask’s safe house and stole his quality coffee. The man’s eyes were wary.

“How did you get in here?”

Danny shrugged. “Walked.”

Danny held the coffee out of the way as Sionis unloaded a clip into his chest and lunged forward to slap a mask onto Danny’s face. After waiting a bit, as Black Mask’s smug triumph bled into shock, Danny laughed and, using a bit of his natural strength, tossed the guy off of him. He casually took the mask off of his face.

“Jeez, I’m trying to be nice, here.”

“So, you’re a Meta.”

Danny grinned. “Eh. And you’re a cult leader with a mask fetish.”

Danny tuned out the rant about the “true face of Gotham” or whatever, already bored, and sipped at Sionis’ coffee. The ass might be a psycho, but his coffee tastes were wonderful. Danny stood up, rinsed his mug, and turned back to Black Mask.

“You’re trafficking people. Kids.” He said, cutting through Sionis’ chatter. He was sly about it too, committing violence and torture in a way that would ensure obedience and fear. Danny probably would have never caught on, Black Mask’s schemes being so ingeniously created and executed, had he not kept a hawk’s eyes on the more vulnerable members of Crime Alley’s community. And the rest of Gotham’s vulnerable communities, of course.

“My, a wonderfully obvious conclusion. Now, Phantom, I have a proposition for you.”

Sionis seemed to have gotten his bearings back. Danny tilted his head at him, looking down.

“You can work for me,” Sionis said, before opening a laptop with video feed to one of his masked men or whatever holding a knife to one of Danny’s more fearless kids. Danny snarled.

“Or, refuse, and your kid will lose a finger for every instance of your defiance.”

“I told you not to touch the kids, Sionis. I don’t allow trafficking either.”

Black Mask chuckled. “Cut off a finger, Sadness.”

“Yes, bos- ARGHHHH!”

Danny watched as Mr. Freeze froze the goon’s arms before breaking them.

“I’ve got her, Phantom.”

Danny nodded at Freeze, keeping an eye on Sionis in case the fool bolts.

“So, what are your cards now, Sionis? You’ve sure pissed me off with nothing to show for it.”

And that was the last night anyone heard from the one that was supposed to be the King of Crime.

But Gotham knew the head mounted on a pike at one of Black Mask’s hastily abandoned bases was a warning, that The Phantom was watching.

——

Then he somehow got a gaggle of more orphans that were undead zombie “Talons?”

From there, he just obtained influence over the crime bosses of Gotham. Because his Talons kept bringing him heads and blackmail and his crime alley kids and Gotham orphans kept bringing him information for food and safety?

But like, Danny never wanted anything in exchange for the safety he provided. His core could give less of a shit whether he got anything in return. But he couldn’t convince his kids of that! They’re putting themselves in danger and ugh-!

Danny checked himself once more in the mirror. Ready, he stepped out into the night to wait for the Bats at his new favorite VIP spots.

On the way, he passed Ivy and Harley, who he waved to. Pamela worked under him because he controlled Gotham’s criminal underground (which also mean the official parts of the city considering the sheer amount of corruption) and influenced them into more plant friendly methods. His dominion over Undergrowth also helped immensely.

Harley? They’re friends. He beat up and crippled her abusive ex. She gave him therapy and stopped torturing people for fun.

Danny stepped into the back door of the Iceberg Lounge. No one stopped him. No one dared to.

He settled onto a velvet couch, nodding respectfully at the server that had immediately and nervously set down his mai tai. He glanced around for cameras and wire taps, before giving up and upping his ectoplasmic output to short any recording devices out.

He sipped his drink as he waited.

“Batman.”

“Phantom.”

“Oh, good. You didn’t bring Robin,” Danny said, watching Batman tense. “Kids shouldn’t be in places like these.”

Batman stayed silent.

“Come on, sit.” Danny gestured to the couch across from him.

“This isn’t a social call. I’ll stop whatever you’re scheming-” Batman growled.

“Oh my god, you’re so dramatic. Is this where Nightwing gets it from?”

Batman snarled.

“Sit, sit.” Danny rolled his eyes.

Batman stayed stubbornly looming. Danny sighed, allowing his voice to slip into velvet danger.

“I told you to sit, Bruce Wayne.”

“You-”

“I won’t repeat myself again, Bruce. You’re testing my patience.”

Bruce sat, wary and hyper vigilant. Danny sighed, settling back in his chair.

“You’ve heard of Red Hood, yes? Don’t answer that, it was hypothetical. I know you’ve heard of him.” Danny waved a hand impatiently. “I don’t really care why he’s setting up shop in my Alley, but he’s upsetting the other crime lords. They’re asking me to interfere.”

“I don’t work for you.”

“No,” Danny acknowledged with a nod. “But I could make you, if you push it. Politeness would serve you much better right now, Bruce, seeing as I am doing you a… favor. And since I’m not shouting to the world who you are under the cowl.”

Danny gave Batman a pointed, patented, mom glare.

“… Apologies.”

“Now, you might be wondering what that favor is.” Danny watched Batman’s cowled face carefully. “I thought you should know that the Red Hood is your “Jason Todd.’”

Batman was still. And then Batman leapt at him, snarling, “How dare you-!”

Danny caught the vigilante by the throat and squeezed.

Batman’s flurry of punches- which, mildly ow, those gauntlets kind of hurt- quickly changed to clawing and maneuvers to get out of the choke hold. Danny held steady, cutting off the vigilante’s air supply until he began to go limp. He’s not Superman. Danny will bruise and kill, if he had to.

“Are you going to listen to me now?” Danny asked mildly, emulating both Black Mask’s drawl and Dan’s effortless psychosis.

Batman gave a weak nod. Danny plopped him unceremoniously back onto his couch. He sipped on his drink once more as he waited for Batman to cough some sweet air back into his lungs.

“I’m telling you to get your little birds in line before I have to go hunting, yeah? Keep your kids out of danger, Bruce, and I won’t have to step in.”

“He- how do you know..?” The growl isn’t there anymore, and Danny felt a smug sense of vindication of having smothered it out of the guy. Woah, no, that thought was too Dan and too little Danny. Danny handed him a cup of water, which Batman didn’t drink.

Danny rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow. “Drink. If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it by now. And as for how I know…”

Danny held up a beat up copy of Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility, filled with Jason’s writing. He tossed it to Batman, who caught it with blank eyes.

“Water,” Danny reminded him firmly, feeling like a mother hen. Batman gulped down his water, eyes flicking between the pages of Jason’s annotated book. Ancients, Danny couldn’t believe he annotated his book. A crime lord, like that? Well, it’s not like Danny could say anything.

Batman looked up at him, a silent demand- no, plea, because he’s not in a position to make demands- for an answer.

“Broke into his safe house. You should contact your fling, Talia. Seems like she dunked him into these “Lazarus pits” and told him you replaced him with the current Robin.”

Danny could see Batman’s emotional gears hard at work and honestly, he doesn’t have time for that.

“Now, we’re done here. You owe me one for the information. I’ll collect later.” Danny grabbed the Dark Knight, who stayed oddly unresisting (shock, maybe?) , and hauled him up.

“Tell Tim Drake to eat more. He looks too skinny.” With that, Danny dragged the Dark Knight to the window and punted him out. His kids were waiting on hot chocolate night and Danny had to go shopping for quality ingredients.

——

“YOU COULDN’T HAVE TOLD ME THE BIGGEST CRIME LORD OF YOUR CITY WAS THE FUCKING HIGH KING OF THE INFINITE REALMS?!”

“Hn.”

“BLOODY HELL, DON’T YOU GRUNT AT ME, YOU BROODY BASTARD!”

Constantine let out a scream. Shite, the king who held his soul contract was a crime lord. Great.

——

The reason intelligence and convoluted schemes and genius doesn’t work against Danny is because he’s got weird standards of what he’ll tolerate and the fact is that his normal dumbassery and mother hen tendencies cancels out and coherent thoughts or plans he might have had.

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