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moononmyfloor · 6 months

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My Year End C-drama Review (2023)

Last year, I did two Cdrama Wrapped posts for each half of the year. This year, I watched so much stuff right away I got arrogant and was about to do a January-February summary. And then life happened and handed me my entire ass, so here we are right back on the ground zero.

Well, not exactly. I watched lots of dramas I liked this year and would like to give nods to as many as possible, and before I start forgetting details I thought I better go ahead with the entrees that I'm sure of the answers.

My initial Cdrama reviews were inspired by anniedelavoye's this post 2 years ago, I've extrapolated a lot from there but some entrees remain same.

Part 2

1. First drama I finished in 2023

Hi Venus. Modern workplace romcom isn't my go-to-genre, least of all if the ML is a CEO. If not for the unusual-for-the-genre setup of initial few eps and the strong recommendations of my friends, I might not have pressed play at all. And I'm so glad I did because it turned out to be one of the most refreshing takes of the genre, it was funny, the pacing nor the dialogues were ever draggy, the characters were intelligent and pleasant, and down to earth. It never leaned to the tropes of helpless/badass FL or tsundere/beta ML extremes, there was no dramatic villain arcs, down to the supporting characters everyone were so reasonable and mature and simply had the nicest time ever together. Now I put it like that, it sounds boring but trust me, it wasn't. Do give it a try. Your time won't be wasted.

2. An actor who took my breath away

Jing Boran as Lan Jue/Peizhi from The League of Nobleman

I mean

Look at him. Instant KO.

I remember watching this scene (and every scene that followed after, especially when he had his hair down) and being in disbelief about how he's real. He's literally glowing out the screen! His performance as a model scholarly minister, the way he conducted his glance, his steps, his speech and temperament were nothing but enchanting and... look, I can write poetry about him for ages lol.

And then I watched every single work I could find of him and ended up even more in love, because his resume was nothing but diverse. A measured scholar, a bubbling-out-of-his-skin social butterfly, a ballerina in a tutu, a man pregnant with the cutest radish monster ever, there's nothing he cannot play. I'm definitely going to check out every single work of him that'll be coming out in the future as well. Even if the plot fails, his character will surely be interesting.

(Also, I was FINALLY lured into DMBJ fandom thanks to going down his profile as well, and now I'm here to stay🤭)

3. Most relatable character

Bai Moxi from Gone With the Rain

She was street-smart and sassy, but never foolhardy. She wasn't a damsel nor was overly clever. She had her moments of daydreaming, but she knew what was and wasn't reasonable. She had a high sense of self-worth, she also knew when to make herself scarce. Despite being the most outgoing and energetic personality in the room, she didn't make everything to be about herself. In fact, she couldn't have been happier to be a background supporting character of the story, quietly minding her own business in her corner. In summary, she just felt very real, and exactly like how I love my FLs. Every decision she took felt like what I'd also have done in her situation. (Btw I hope noone messages me about loving Moxi but hating her sister because I don't. I think her character also made a lot of sense based on her circumstances even though she was bit more difficult to love than Moxi.)

Most of all, she was played to a tee by Zhang Nan, the young actress was allowed to shine to her true potential in this role, as she used to be quite stereotyped in either bubbly or petty mean girl roles. The drama horribly fell apart in the latter quarter (I'd like to pretend it all ended before that Great Seperation Scene), but I'm going to remember her charaacter for a long time to come.

4. Most inspiring character

Li Lianhua from Mysterious Lotus Casebook

The tumblr tag for MLC is already filled with Grade A+ poetry, prose and analysis dedicated to him and I'm not capable of wording it any better than them. All I can say is he really touched a vulnerable corner of my heart, and gave it strength. He's just so very admirable and represents all I ever want to be, and his entire character design and all its metaphors and philosophy especially resonate with me as a Buddhist. Like Cheng Yi said at the end of MLC concert, "At the end of the day, if you have a lotus flower in your heart that you can call your own, that's what matters."

5. Best Couple of the Year

Lu Zhaoxi and Ye Shilan (Zeng Shunxi and Liang Jie) in Hi Venus, Zhao Jian and Yuan Zhongxin (Zhou Yutong and Zhang Xincheng) in Young Blood 2

Here are two couples who were each others' equal match in every big, small and miscellaneous ways possible. Where their roles in their partnership did not have anything to do with society-determined gender or power dynamics, not about conforming to them nor about beating them. Everything about their relationships simply had to do with what they meant to each other their admiration, respect and love towards the other person, from beginning to end. In Hi Venus, it was never uncomfortable to watch Shilan being Zhaoxi's subordinate, for he always treated her like any good superior should in any healthy professional relationship. In Young Blood 2, Zhongxin would fully trust Zhao Jian with everyone else's and his own life, not because his head was in wishful romantic clouds but because he was 100% confident in her capabilities and would never disrespect her with "girls should be protected, you stay back and let me take the sword for you" nonsense.

I may check out like 50 dramas per year and may never come by such Het pairing dynamics in some years, yknow? I do not hate on any other kind of dynamic (plus I'd have next to nothing to watch in that case lol) but, THIS... this is so rare -for me to not be icked out by not even a single second of a fictional het couple's screentime lol- hence the gushing! (Though I know I'm not doing the greatest job of phrasing what I feel😆).

Following that note, though not a couple, honorable mentions to Chufeng (Bi Wenjun) and Robin (Zhu Zhengting) from Silence of the Monster who took Sui Yi (Sun Yihan) into their home not because they thought it'd be chivalrous to help a girl, but because it's the nice thing to do as a fellow human. For continuing onto integrating her into their world with ease and enthusiasm not because any of them had feelings for her but because they simply found her a good friend to hang out with.

Suffice to say I DIG ANY relationship where gender does not come into play, like, at all (or barely, if you must).

6. Best harem of the year

Orchid and Lotus harems (from League of Nobleman and Mysterious Lotus Casebook)

(Only sharing the pics of Orchid Harem because it was from the earlier quarter of this year, whereas pics of Lotus Harem will be everywhere in the Cdrama scene for quite a while to come lol)

The support group of devout puppies, zhijis, friends-with-benefits and all sorts of other polycule postions, all centered around one precious babygirl enigma of a man is just my jam, and I love it when it happens because it brings forth the fandom's most unhinged high-art. 😌😌😌

(ALSO ME AND WHO WHEN!😭)

7. Best ensemble of the year

Young Blood 2, I Am Nobody

For me a perfect ensemble is where the supporting characters are just or almost nearly as engaging and thoroughly written as the main leads, you'd love every second spent on any character just as much as you love that of any other. The ultimate relaxing experience where your brain doesn't have to pick favorites and you don't have to speed watch or fast forward or be antsy about who's going to appear next because you know it's gonna be enjoyable no matter whom.

And this year, it's Young Blood 2- with its Class 7 members who were all so different but all so compelling and equally contributing to the plot, complimented by the Class 8 and the unnervingly captivating villains.

And I Am Nobody- with its extensive spread of young and old heroes/antiheroes alike, all with dramatic backstories and individual charisma that were not second to another.

8. Favorite posters/promos of the year

Mysterious Lotus Casebook, Young Blood 2, Sunshine By My Side

Really liked what MLC did with positioning the characters on various spots of the titular Lianhua Lou, the wind-sway choices for the wisps of hair and the skirts... idk the exact angles of it all were just right for each character and their vibes and appealed to me a lot.

The blending-into-painting style poster of Young Blood was so pretty too, plus these Suoyi raincoat posters.

The comic strip posters for Sunshine were also super cute, unique and perfect for the drama's themes.

9. Best opening credit sequence

Love You Seven Times

The drama itself was a hot mess but the opening sequence was entirely worthy of being a parallelish-universe story to Love Between Fairy and Devil without a debate. IF ONLY they put the same effort to the story itself.

10. Favorite Prop/Set designs

A League of Nobleman- Lan Jue's Tea Pavilion, Mysterious Lotus Casebook- Lotus House

I wish I could install a fixture in my home where me and my imaginary homies can chat over tea while being seductively separated by an active stream of freshwater, while my not so elegant period-style caravan is waiting outside in the yard for more cozily cramped get-together times. 🤧

11. Favorite lighting/color grading of the year

The Forbidden Flower, My Journey to You

The former, a kaleidoscopic explosion of colors, a celebration of fleeting life, youth, summer and nostalgia. It was a daring drama on so many fronts and nailed each of them as well, and the use of colors represented its bold soul perfectly.

The latter, a marvelous combination of mountains shrouded by mist, dark-toned wood pavilions and fur-lined robes, pale, dusty makeup with rosy lips and plump cheeks; all combined together on screen to bring a palpable ambience of a secluded glamorous hideout in a dystopian world and its ethereal residents. Seriously, how I especially loved to stare at the bride candidates in their white getups, it was like the light bounced off of the fabric to shine on their faces even more, and the skin and hair looked non-oily and baby soft. And it didn't feel over the top but convincing because the camerawork and editing conjured a believable image of an upcountry with dense and dewy forests, waterfalls and rivers, there's no sun, no heat no sweat, only cold air and pregnant humidity. OF COURSE you are going to look like THAT.

12. A drama that taught me new things

Hi Producer

The infuriating thing about Yu Zheng's show-off genre of costume dramas is that the story may be a hit-or-miss, the "historical facts" provided in them may need to be taken with a grain of salt, but they almost always provide me with great entry points to do my own research 🥲. Most niche facts that take me by surprise and things I'd never have thought to look up on my own are randomly sprinkled all over the place and I run around like a headless chicken trying to collect them all.

13. Most exhilarating drama/scene

Three-Body

That scene in ep 5. The entire buildup to it and the resolution. The phenomenal acting bringing forth the exact emotion and exact tension required. The moment you start to understand at least a sliver of why exactly all the characters are making this much of a fuss about what's happening to them.

I cannot spoil, not even a bit. You'd have to see for yourself.

I Am Nobody

(lol Three Body and I Am Nobody. I swear that was an unintentional coincidence!)

The great V-match between certain two characters, I can't elaborate. (See the thing about exhilarating scenes is that you have to see it for yourself what's the big deal is about lol.) I really liked how both their biggest vulnerabilities and yearnings were pulled out mercilessly in public, how they both fought themselves through each other before actualizing the philosophy of what it was all about. It was beautiful to watch visually as well.

14. A drama location I'd love to visit

Yunnan province

I've seen glimpses of the prosperous and both naturally and culturally diverse Yunnan province through Bite of China Documentaries and Dianxi Xiaoge's vlogs, the beautiful bucolic backdrop of Meet Yourself only heightened the wish to experience it all in person.

15. A drama that was a pleasant surprise

I Am Nobody

Perfect casting job, earnest effort from everyone involved to bring out the 2D to live action in the bestest way possible, it was like a dream come true to see a genre that was previously limited into written media like comics and fanfics (modern cultivation) as a drama even if it meant labelling all the cultivators as aliens lol

It had a lil bit of a flavor of western coming-of-age/"teen gets powers and goes on an adventure in search of their origins" stories, a bit of Japanese anime presenting style and the chaotic-gaggle-of-youth-and-veterans-with-different-extreme-powers genre vibe. And then they incorporated Chinese wuxia philosophy into it and made it their own thing. I hope to see more of this in future, and definitely a season 2!

16. An old drama I watched in 2023

Shaolin Wendao (2017)

This is one of the best period dramas I have ever seen, but I don't recommend it unless you have a strong tolerance for angst. Like, worse than Royal Nirvana and Heroes (2022) level of angst.

HOWEVER, unlike those two, Shaolin Wendao will leave you feeling rewarded for your suffering. This drama achieved a number of things that very few other have managed to do, especially for a story with such a heavy and dark premise.

The characters remained true to their selves from beginning to the end. They grew up in various ways, at the same time remained consistent. The story made sure to make all the characters aware of their individual faults and address them.

The characters were put through immense wringer but also provided viewer with the resolution they deserved. It was SO exhilarating at times, I cried. It felt like a detox, sometimes.

They prioritized telling a realistic story about the changing nature of humans. The ending was blissful but not in the idolized, wrapped-in-a-bow-tie way one would imagine. They wanted to tell a story about tribulations and letting go, and did exactly that.

It will ignite the pain but will also make sure to thoroughly quench it. So there's that.

Oh and also, respect to all the actors. All those characters were so layered and had some quite difficult scenes. I do not understand how Guo Xiaoting didn't get any good roles matching of her caliber for years after this. She was magnificent.

More Posts by Me

#cdrama #chinese drama #year end review #cdrama recs #mysterious lotus casebook #league of nobleman #young blood 2 #hi venus #gone with the rain #three-body #I am nobody #silence of the monster #shaolin wendao #hi producer #my journey to you #the forbidden flower #meet yourself #sunshine by my side #love you seven times

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sparkytheandroid · 1 year

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ABOUT NEW 50% OFF CONTENT

Hey sorry to get your attention like that, kind of a scummy move but bare with me a few moments. I’m the other person who made 50% Off, Sparky the Android, I also voiced Haru and Rin and some other small things. People usually just call me PJ now cause I don’t really make content anymore. Speaking of content Alex, Octopimp, decided he was going to make some new 50% Off content this past week and I would just like to explain some things as to why this is a real legitimate slap in the face to me personally. I want to stress that I was not sexually abused, physically abused, or in any major danger in my long creative partnership with Alex, he was just a scumbag who acted like an asshole and treated me really poorly over the course of the show forcing me to eventually quit. I was willing to just walk away from this stuff. Close the door, yknow? Get some closure but Alex seems intent on opening it by posting new 50% off content without talking to me about it first in any capacity. I have not spoken to Alex in several years but I was and always have been an equal creative factor in 50% Off, so him releasing new content without me feels especially insulting. Alex came to me ten years ago asking if I would be interested in making an abridged series at the time because I had a background writing comedy and went to school for film. This was under the pretense of an equal partnership. We’re both funny, I’m a good writer and a decent voice actor, Alex is a decent writer and a good voice actor. He bought me my first voice acting microphone and we set to work developing the show with me refining a lot of our ideas into actual scripts to read from. As the series progressed I started taking on the larger writing work and Alex the larger editing work. Episodes went from 4 minute goofs (the original concept) to more longform almost 20 minute episodes at a time where characters had their own throughlines and stories progressing. It was a large task for the two of us, especially the difficulty of editing for Alex specifically. I don’t want any of this to seem like I did all the work, or that I never fought with or insulted Alex because that’s far from my point. Both of us were supposed to be partners but Alex consistently treated the show as SOLELY his in increasing amounts. I had to ask him to stop saying things like “I sign your paychecks.” or to stop insulting me in videos when he would add in insults against me without talking to me about it first. I can take an insult! I wrote some content insults about Alex too! But I was always up front and he would slip his insults in, or little jokes that were not in my scripts, without ever talking to me about them I would see them in the video premiers. He consistently minimized my involvement, I had to argue with him to get my name on the end slate, I wrote the theme rap, I wrote 90% of the material, I wrote our dumb tshirt commercials, the show is unequivocally so much of MY VOICE and I was begging to get a little more limelight or recognition. Alex took guest appearances at cons without talking to me. We did a panel at anime expo where HE was the guest and when I asked him about a badge to get into the con he informed me that he was giving the other pass to his girlfriend at the time. And while he did end up purchasing me a new badge to try and make good, just the act of not thinking that that badge should have been mine was so insulting. When we went to funimation he consistently bore it down on me that i was LUCKY that he flew me out so we could go to Funimation even though he would not be going in the first place without my scripts and voice. He made content without talking to me. He kept me at arms length in an arrangement that was supposed to be equal and I never spoke about it publicly because even a small amount of internet fame warped my little idiot brain and I wanted to keep being famous and cool on the internet.

I never saw our official earnings numbers or even had access to the channel and took it on blind faith that I was being fair. When I quit the show because it was seriously becoming a real detriment to my mental health I walked away from any earnings the show would make after.

It sucked. It sucked because I wanted to make more of the show. I wanted to finish season one. I promised people I would. It sucked because for some of it I was having fun! I was going to voice actor parties and people were paying attention to me. Selfishly I thought I could right the ship and turn it into a real career but I know that was never really an option. And it sucked because Alex and I WERE friends. I did some of my best material with him. Times hanging out with him where he was a genuine person were great. And I tried so many things! I realized arguing with him wasn't working so I figured it must be my fault. I tried being more supportive of him, supporting his streams, cheering him on at game tournaments, etc. But he just kept using me and the people around him to further his career. I just couldn’t take it anymore and I took the only ownership I really could and I walked away. The show stopped and, I’m sorry to the people who loved it, I think it should have stayed stopped. Nagisa is a fuckin racist caricature, one I actively contributed too regardless of the actions I took to make Nagisa smarter, more artistic, less of a one note joke about drugs and crime. Hell his final speech about how he felt about fetishizing MLM content at the time was feelings I WAS HAVING as a person coming to real terms with their queer identity. Alex is not a queer person! I am! I gave that speech to Alex to perform. I gave him MY VOICE. But it's still a racist caricature rooted in the past that is my fault for perpetuating.

And again I’m not an angel. I argued with Alex a lot and said a lot of mean things to his face. Some stuff I regret because I’ve spent the time after the show specifically not shoving myself down another pipeline of making online content. The attention makes me stupid and I act like a jerk! I made mistakes while doing 50% Off and I’m sure I’ve hurt people too. I’m sorry to anyone who crossed my path when I was hopped up on stupid internet fame. You met one of the worst versions of me and it was my own doing. I’m sorry to Alex even for some of the stuff I said. But Alex leveraged his position of power over me as an excuse to treat me like shit. I’m in a good place in my life and I just wanted to shut the door on all this but Alex is intent on opening it after all these years and STILL minimizing my contributions. Saying things like “I just don't have the time/resources to make full episodes anymore.” He can’t make full episodes anymore because he would have to replace my voice in them but more than that replace my entire writing style. I was willing to let him upload a short like w/e its 2023 like whatever right? Tell your joke dude I don’t care. Then he posted another acting like he was going to do even more new 50% Off stuff and a close friend spoke with him saying it wasn't a good idea and he agreed. Then he posted them on youtube! And is saying stuff like this to people in the comments.

Like implying that the only reason he can't continue to produce 50% Off in full is because he doesn’t have the energy or schedule. He can’t continue because it would be continuing without me and I know deep down he KNOWS he shouldn’t. I don’t want any fucking clout or want you to watch any of my content because I don’t MAKE any. I wasn't sexually assaulted or physically abused. Alex was just a huge dick to me and a lot of my friends and we all just let it slide for all of our own personal reasons. Hell I was content just walking away the way I did, making the split seem amicable so there wasn’t a bunch of drama, letting the show stay up, and still field questions for people curious about it. I took my gdrive with every script i ever wrote for the show and just closed the door. I’m just tired after all these years of this guy actively ignoring my involvement in the show that is partially responsible for his internet fame. Tired of him pulling this bullshit “uwu i would love to make more but i just can't!” attitude to lie about why he can't actually make more. Tired of him opening that fucking door.

A few years ago Alex got in contact with me through a friend with an apology. At the time he sent it many streamers were facing backlash for how they treated people in the past, ones closer to Alex, so this seemed suspiciously timed. The apology I got sounded like every other apology Alex had given me over the years. A lot of avoiding his own culpability in his actions. I told him that if we were to resume being friends it would take a lot. I think anyone who makes the effort deserves the chance to be redeemed, but I had absolutely zero trust in him and thought it was unlikely that he really wanted to make an effort to be a real friend to me. After that we resumed not speaking and when people asked me about him I still tried to make our split seem at least somewhat amicable and I try to generally avoid projects he is involved in.

Imagine my surprise when he walked out on that Jerma stream.

I want to thank everybody who watched 50% Off honestly and truly. I think some of it still shines as some of my best work. I got to do a lot of cool things like have my voice in a real anime, and I met tons of people who cared about me and my role in the show specifically. Those people were like life preservers while I felt like I was sinking in Alex’s shadow. It’s undeniably cool to have people respond to your work so well and I know I wouldn't have seen that happen without Alex’s skills as an entertainer and producer. Alex has hurt me personally as a friend, as a business partner, and has hurt several of my other friends in various ways with his behavior. The way I felt on 50% Off became truly harmful to my mental state. I struggle personally with imposter syndrome and RSD and at the time of making the show I had gone through very little therapy to help me develop healthy coping mechanisms for those things. It was just like pouring gasoline into a fire. And I really wanted to put it all behind me for the sake of my own mental health and life because all things considered I’m happy where I am now. I’ve worked really hard on myself personally and have been so lucky to have emotionally intelligent friends help me and give me so many chances I should not have deserved. I’m fortunate to be able to support myself and my cat, and I get to make personal art I love without having to push myself into the internet game because if I’m being honest I had a bad addiction to social media. I apologize I don’t have a nice resolution for you, I’m not asking you to stop watching 50% Off, or watch anything I make, or hell even stop watching Alex’s personal content. I just felt like I had this intense pit in my stomach seeing him parade around in the other half of our two person horse costume and insist he’s wearing the whole thing. Yknow? After all these years I just wanted to say SOMETHING about the way I was really treated so I could finally get some closure for myself. Thank you for your time and again to all the people who DID support the show thank you sincerely.

#also without my involvement alex is a white cishet man writing queer characters #one of which is a racist stereotype #in 2023 #like cmon #octopimp #50% off!#free! abridged

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afarcryfrommymain · 4 months

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Oc Interview questions! Tagged by @adelaidedrubman and @simplegenius042 thanks yall!

(doing this like he's the one awnsering- no bombs au moment, imagine Sharky in the background like one of those animals that soothes horses)

Name: "Aphid Hernández"

Nickname: "Oh gosh- people call me Aph if that counts? And of course, Rook, but I don't know if I'd say I'm much of a Rookie after all this, Joey says it's habit now, but I think she finds the look i give her funny.

Gender: "boy- uh man? But I also like they/them pronouns as much as he/ him - pick ya poison there"

Star sign: "Taurus, I think." (He's right)

Personality type: "I'll be real I don't know this one- I did this test like 5 years ago because a buddy wanted to know but fuck if I remember the results" (it's ISFP)

Height: "5'7" last i checked." (yes, i made him shorter.)

Orientation: "Bisexual, I think, but I'll date whoever if we dig one another enough. I'm also poly, but it's not like anyone's able to match Sharks at the moment - also, if a single person in Hope County gives me shit they will find my shovel in their stomach."

Nationality/Ethnicity: "Mexican-American"

Favorite fruit: "oh- that's a tough one- I think I like kiwi best though, weird little things, taste good too."

Favorite season: "waiting for it to cool down and for fall to arrive - ain't this place the mountains? Why am I still sweating when I walk outside? (Long pause) "it's Fall"

Favorite flower: "My tattoo says it all, the gladiolus, cool flowers, I looked up the meaning a long time ago, but it's kinda left my brain since"

Favorite scent: "can't beat a barbecue but I'm partial to most fire-associated smells- Sharky stop looking at me like that."

Coffee, tea, or HC: "oh- coffee for sure, iced tea is good too though."

Average hours of sleep: "Okay. So I know 8 hours is what you're supposed to get- but you think 4 is acceptable? 5 when I'm lucky? Sharky seriously stop-"

Dog or cat person: "lord don't make me pick, not when I got Boomer and Peaches around,"

Dream trip: "tent near a place far away from civilization, by a river, just me fishing and hunting for as long as I can stand to be alone, then I leave."

Favorite fictional/real character: "oh- Ramona Flowers was my gay awakening, she's top of the list for that reason alone.

Number of blankets they sleep with: "Normally, there's a small pile of various blankets under me, and then there's a big one over top like I'm in a nest. Real cozy, I highly recommend it."

Random fact: "oh I hate being asked to give a fun fact uh- I play dungeons and dragons- or I did but I kinda don't have anybody to play with anymore so ya know if anybody in Hope County wants to play hit me up. I cook, too - is that a fact? I feel like people should cook in general, but ya know."

I do NOT know who to tag, and I think most have already been tagged - if you haven't, this is ur tag now. I better see u on my dash soon (/j)

#aphid hernandez #im talking now #far cry deputy #tag game #malewife aphid bc its all he wants outta life #he doesnt sleep for long. when hes out hes out but he wakes up v quickly

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springsteens · 11 months

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15 questions and 15 mutuals

thank you so much for the tag, @gilliandersons 🤍

were you named after anyone?

my dad says the most beautiful girl he's ever known had my name and he met her in uni but I'm not sure if it's really how I got my name. when my parents were naming me, not many people liked it because it was an old and forgotten name (although it was used in one side of my family frequently back in the day, which I have found out not so long ago). two years after I was born, almost every girl had this name here lol my dad keeps saying I was a trendsetter

when was the last time you cried?

like two weeks ago when I found out my vacation trip for the summer that was supposed to be just my mum & I having a girl time is no longer going to happen because she decided to take her boyfriend with us, too... and I hate him 😔 and he hates me... 😐

do you have kids?

I'm 25 and getting my second Masters degree lol

do you use sarcasm a lot?

almost all the time and it's the reason why I don't vibe with certain type of people but I don't even care 🤷🏻‍♀️

what's the first thing you notice about people?

looks, clothes, the way they speak etc. not to judge who is rich or popular etc. because that's primitive but it says a lot about what kind of person I am dealing with. it says a lot about their background, even their parents' education. I feel like a little Sherlock Holmes then lol and funnily enough, I'm rarely wrong...

what's your eye color?

hazel brown (one eye is more brown, one is more green)

scary movies or happy endings?

both is good! I love creepy horrors about demons and witches etc. but I also love a happy ending (maybe not in a horror movie, though)...

any special talents?

I'm sort of a witch in denial because I kinda don't believe in this shit but it keeps happening to me and I find it funny when I see all those spiritual girls trying so hard with their unethical crystals and paraffin candles and here I am, not wanting this and not vibing with this but still receiving energy against my will

where were you born?

poland

what are your hobbies?

literature, cinema, music, the sims 4 (building and furnishing apartments the most!), some fashion and some history, some mythology

have any pets?

two cats 😊 my baby boys!

what sports do you play/have you played?

I wanted to play football when I was younger and by football I mean soccer just to be clear although saying soccer makes me angry because there's only one football ⚽

how tall are you?

1'69

favorite subject in school?

polish, english, history, culture class

dream job?

• nepo baby • modern day royal lady • mafia princess • 70s it girl • librarian in an old library that earns enough money to survive (as realistic as the ones above)

no pressure tags (and certainly not 15 people, do forgive me) — @violaobanion @violetwanderer @xbellaxcarolinax @melancholic--soull @the-makingsofgreatness @hellshee @caelys @depoteka @pierangelis @laurennbacall

#💞

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14846 · 2 months

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Chapter 4: Life and Blood

Everytime the soldier drew blood he would get emotional. Drip, drip, the scarlet painted down onto the grass by his boots. Pinned against the tree in casual sitting form, Reiner kept himself diligently looking down at the mess in his hands. He had cut himself, and after three years [going on four] of losing the ability to snap into titan form through this power of blood, he still hadn’t gotten used to being so careful with knives. Jean had made himself useful by the fire, busy occupying himself with the bottle of booze he met in matrimony with for the past twenty minutes. Armin was inside Historia’s cabin, oddly enough also making himself useful to whatever important conversations were to be had. Reiner, though coming very close with his Paradis comrades, had still failed to ultimately fit in with the political business of the island. He wasn’t much of a politician, anyways, and he never got offended.

Jean had insisted they camp by the fire for a few more hours, and Reiner had a bottle or two too-much for his liking. His cheeks were a bit pink, and with the warmth he felt hovering over his head, he decided that he shouldn’t have any more alcohol for the night. However, that stray of coherent thought was lost when he found his hands buttering over a stick with his pocket knife.

“Ah shit,” the blonde’s voice wavered ever so quietly to not alert his vain friend. His teeth bared together and he felt his lips purse upward to form a frown. Good thing it was dark. Sure, it was painful, but being able to see life burst through his skin and not ultimately iterate toward a 2000 year old curse was beautiful. It reminded him how lucky he was to have peace, to have his friends, and to be able to live in the memory of those who could not join him today. He did not cry this time. Janette had seen him do that and it was enough embarrassment for him to endure for the next several months straight.

—

A similar situation had occurred the last time he’d been with his girl. He was a bit curt about their relationship to his friends, but deep inside he knew that he was just about smitten with her. Jean did not need the details to recognize how distracted the burly man became anytime something about Janette came up. It was strange to the mullet-coiffured friend. Coming back to Paradis, everyone expected the blonde fool to trip his way to Historia, but one look at her husband and he backed off. Nobody even asked why, because there wasn’t ever a reason to ask in the first place. Obviously he had become self conscious about the situation. In fact, he hadn’t even looked at a girl once until some months later when Janette just appeared out of nowhere. It became so casual, and even Jean had become fond of how polite and caring this girl was. She was stern, but appreciative and oddly selfless.

Reiner had left the interior about a week ago, and his heart still was a sopping mess. This was so horrible. He’d had his share of flings, short-ended and long-ended (somewhat) relationships, and only a few made him feel this way. Maybe it was because Janette made it the forefront to become his friend first. There was nothing entirely romantic about their first date, even. She had even made him laugh. The boy needed some more of that, and Jean couldn’t keep holding that end of the stick alone for much longer.

—

He’d stop by the tavern in the blinding daylight and walk with her when it was her break. He looked forward to these strolls, and there were only a few reasons he could chalk it up to. Normalcy was one. She had no background in government or military roles (not that it really mattered at the end of the day), but it brought him out of the line of life that he had lived in for a drastically long time. She brought up topics of funny situations within the community, drama with the upstairs neighbor and her husband. How a Mrs. Binnecker was ushering a man away with a broomstick when he asked her daughter on a date. She got in on a lot of the townspeak, considering that she was a barmaid and friendly with all the customers. She made him happy.

In all honesty, he had a hard time visiting at night, because despite their daily strolls becoming more and more personable by this point, he did not have the courage to ask her the official question yet. Did there need to be a question? They had already kissed once- or twice. Maybe he was overthinking the situation, but even then, his guts wrenched anytime he’d find himself around the block and the moon would be out. She never enticed any of the men who visited her bar, he thought, but those same thoughts turned into mere jealousy when they would stray to the image of another man flirting his way into her heart. Did love stories happen at bars? He wasn’t sure- he supposed his story did. She clearly had a soft spot for soldiers, but what about him? Did he mean more?

He’d known her a good time now. How long was it? Several months, minus the few scheduled shifts from when he’d leave to visit his own home from time to time. Everytime he left he had the immediate fear that she would shack it up with a man she found better than him. He didn’t even think of what that would entail. She didn’t deserve those kinds of impure thoughts. She was a good woman helping her father with his business, working her way to go back to college whenever it was possible. Degrees had become majorly successful now that the whole world had opened up to the island.

Pushing those brash thoughts away, Reiner entered the tavern in his usual gated fashion, though this time it was just barely becoming dark outside. He already had his walk with her and bought her some food for her break, so why was he coming back? He didn’t mention anything about returning later to her. She was nowhere to be seen, and his heart fluttered and just about sank down into the darkest depths of his chest. He left. Maybe it would’ve been romantic if he stayed maybe five minutes longer to see her coming back from the back door with a couple of crates of booze to restock.

Lucky for her, the working barman caught sight of the man (as again, he stuck out like a sore-thumb in any crowd), and the brunette ran outside to see if she could catch him. Gone. Like a fish who had just nibbled on the bait but did not bite.

Luckily it was still just hardly 5 o’clock, plenty of time to see what he was up to. It was her turn to drag him out of duty, seeing as she had only done it a couple of times before. She felt bad for him always coming down to catch her on her break, so maybe now when he had obviously been free, maybe she could skip work. She went back inside and grabbed a nice bottle reserved for the more expensive-tasted customers, and she made her way further into the interior.

Considering that she had fetched this boy from his quarters a couple of times in the past, she figured not much would change when it came with her expectations of security in the building. They knew who she was by this point, because even at times when he had taken her from her work-breaks, they had to make a few stops in his room. Most of the time it was because he had forgotten something, maybe a letter or whatnot that he intended to take to the post-office. Every single time they came into the building and waltzed into his room, nothing ever happened. It remained entirely platonic, and honestly his behavior was just increasingly surprising to her. At first glance, you’d look at the man and think that he must’ve been some himbo-coded boy who might’ve compared his cock size to his friends. However, after getting to know him, he rarely set the precedent to such behavior. Well, except for a couple of times. Once, he had obviously trailed behind her with the excuse that his shoe wasn’t fitting right- or was it his sock? The blonde man had shuffled one leg up and toed his sock up his ankle every couple of steps until he lagged just a foot behind her, and after a solid minute of this, he made no effort to return to her flank. At one point Janette did not understand what the whole situation was, even offering a question as to why they didn’t just stop for a second when she noticed that he had been making eye contact with her ass. He tried to make it clearly evident that he was not doing such a thing, and he complied with her question and bent over to ‘fix his sock’. He was so embarrassed that even their conversations were pretty short-ended from there on out for the rest of the day. The second time was when he had kissed her. For being such a polite man, Reiner made the first move and kissed at once before he let her go back to work. He definitely knew how to maneuver his lips around hers, so it could only suggest that he simply had that kind of experience.

Someone opened the entrance door for Janette, and she took a few steps in and waved over to the CQ desk. She assumed it was someone Reiner knew because the female waved back and nodded her head toward the hall where Reiner’s quarters were. Was she even allowed to do this? She assumed so. She recognized the room where the male lived and she politely knocked in courtesy for his own sake. A pause, audible shuffle, and the hazel eyes of Reiner peered from the crack of the door until he lugged it all the way open. His brows were pinched together, eyes piercing down at her from what felt the heavens above (as there was a height difference). The entire pause between them had Reiner feeling self conscious for his room. At least his bed was made?

“‘Mm doin' laundry, sorry for the mess,” he granted her room to enter. She blinked. There was hardly a mess, but maybe he had become so used to keeping things tidy in the military. A small stack of linens were folded on his desk, and a basket of freshly dumped, warm laundry were waiting to join their folded companions. “It makes the room smell nice,” she teased, and waved the bottle in the air to show him what she brought to him. Voodoo. He was going to have to hide that. He smiled. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any glasses in my room.”

“We can just drink from the bottle, it’s fine,” Janette answered, adding it on his desk by his stack of clothes. “I hope you don’t mind me stopping by?” she added, her head tilting to catch what the other was doing. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, somehow looking a bit more tired than normal. She made herself useful and retracted the bottle from the table and took a few steps over, casually shuffling onto the floor and wedging her back between his calves. “You don’t have to sit on the floor, Janette. There’s space up here, and a chair over there,” his head nodded to said lounge chair. She started to twist with the bottle with one hand, and her other grabbed at his forearm and prodded it over onto her head. “Yeah, but I think I’d rather have you play with my hair instead.” He did not argue, and they sat like that for a good while taking turns drinking excruciatingly small sips from the bottle. Maybe he wasn’t the best head masseuse, but it was doing the job. They laughed a couple of times, her more so than the blonde on several occasions. A couple of times his hand intertwined with her hair that she could’ve sworn he was taking a gander at gripping into it.

There was this unexpecting silence between the two. The both of them knew very well that it was getting to be odd that they were playing this game of cat and mouse. They treated each other like they were the titled ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’, guiding their hands around each other’s own and introducing the other to their own friends. They kissed a few times, slid their hands around a little too inappropriately for a public eye, but never much more.

She could never tell him that she would touch herself at night when she felt so lonely. It was becoming a bit more agonizing, and the wish that she could meet him in the middle and intertwine into the bed sheets was lulling a bit stronger. She felt so out of place in his room, a nervous pinch sweltering into her chest as she longed to get to know this place a bit better. She was surely wishing desperately on that night star for her sweet prince to come if you know what I mean. They were adults, for crying out loud, but she was feeling more and more like a horny teenager every passing day.

By this point she had made herself comfortably lean back against the side of the bed, Reiner’s thighs posed on either side of her face. The man had resolve, because even now he was still running his hand through her hair. She tried not to take notice of something else resting close by behind her head. Or maybe, she did. She took the excuse to tilt her head back and look up at his face innocently, the back of her head touching against that something else between his legs. He slowly cast his eyes down to meet her gaze, and raised an eyebrow questionably at her. Obviously he didn’t think this was made to be on purpose, and after a couple of seconds he quipped a small smile. They both knew, but neither objected. She noticed that his breaths started to get a little more steady as if it were helping the blood flow remain in his head.

“Kiss me..?” She asked quietly, a genuine softness to her tone that didn’t suggest anything more. It seemed for his brain to take a second to register her request, but without a verbal answer he slowly bent himself forward and planted a kiss on her forehead. How polite. She murmured another quiet “kiss me”, and he complied with another by her eye. She only mouthed the request a third time and he made himself occupied by planting sweet, small kisses over various points on her face. Her nose, her eyes, her forehead; the corners of her lips, the arch of her jaw. Not once did he slip and extend any of his kisses into something deeper. She became stuck in the moment, and once any part of his face merited close to her own mouth, she’d lip a small kiss of her own in retaliation. Her hand abandoned the bottle and instead found it gently wrapping to Reiner’s hand, and she pulled it and caressed her fingers over the back of his palm. Her fingers tucked between his own and during his parade of soft kisses over her face, and she guided his hand over her collarbone and to her breast.

The cadence of his kisses did not halter as his digits raked over the fabric rested over her bosom, and slowly he massaged his palm over the ball of her breast, his hand finally gating a gentle grasp around her. That big forearm by her face, that feeling of being surrounded by him, his gentle kisses and welcoming warmth made her feel complete at that moment. A small whimpered sigh escaped through the nook of her lips as she tilted her head away from his and planted a small peck against his arm. The blonde’s face was tilted and watching her; in awe with her. He was captivated and starting to feel that his face must’ve been fully drained by now. In fact, his face was burning so much that it felt that he must’ve had a large band-aid freshly ripped off of it somehow.

He wondered what she thought of him. He was so apologetic with her, so understanding and soft that she placed him on a pedestal when he was with her. He felt guilty when he'd retreat back to his room and fist himself in bed or the shower. He felt that in those times he became barbaric compared to how he tried to nullify any of that behavior with her. He'd stand alone, dock his hand in place and take it to pound town, so caught up in his head about her that he couldn't rest until every thrust was satisfied. Post nut clarity made him feel like a mess, but he got so used to the red pill that he didn't even question it anymore.

She noticed that his eyes had left planet Earth. They had become enraptured by her, and she doted on how unmistakable it was. The attention he gave her made her rif her thighs together, only subtle enough for her own satisfaction. He made her feel this way. Every time he smiled at her. Every time he'd tilt his head and speak so softly just for her. The way his forearms looked around anything he did with his hands. The way his pants were always clipped together by a nice belt and how the pant legs hugged around his thighs. How his button-ups were always ironed and tight in all the right places. He looked too fine to be treating her so kind. He never asked for anything, and yet always was on his best behavior. She wanted to tear him all down and mold him back up into her. She wanted to hold him close and allow him access to all of her.

He saw her as a friend, obviously in a different context to how he treated his comrades. A.. really good friend. He loved how serious she would get, how focused her gaze would become and the way her eyebrows pinched together as she listened to people talk. She hated the bar life, and he knew that. She had compiled her plans to attend university later that fall. In all honesty, he was excited for her. What made him self conscious was what he could offer to her. He had no college education. The only thing paying him enough was the government, and luckily due to his rank and rigor, he was paid handsomely. He wasn't sure how the tallies all added up, but he was sure she was just out of his league. She would dress so nice, care about her hair and somehow make herself look so put together. She was normal, and he was not. He might be traveling or taking part in some official business and couldn't tend to her. He had been trying to convince himself that it wouldn't work. Even then just one look at her frame and he'd smother himself down into ash.

She continued to tap her lips against his forearm. To also continue to make himself useful, he skirted his other hand that was still semi-planted in her hair. He ran it over her shoulder and collarbone a couple of times before he slipped his digits just under the fold of her blouse, just enough to mark a better massage by her neck. A gentle pause, and her head tilted back again to meet with her lover.

—

Right, the blood. Reiner looked at the once doomed, perilous sky as he sat against the strong tree across from Historia’s cabin. Where had his thoughts gone?

He’d mentioned what the function of blood was to Janette when it came to Titan shifting. Mainly due to her own curiosity she presented to him that night he was thinking of. In concession to their bedroom flirting, the mood of the room suddenly shifted. The girl sat up and shuffled onto her knees and pivoted to face him. She propped her arms up on his kneecaps and the blonde had no choice but to sit up straight.

She had noticed he was tired. So naturally she asked “was it hard?” The male blinked, unsure of what she was referring to at first considering she had been deathly close to his crotch. He felt his cheeks flame red until the brunette explained further, having noticed the misunderstanding for herself. “The war? Being a titan?”

Titans.

“It was just as hard as it was for you to live through.” “I lived in the interior, Reiner.” “Yeah..” A pause, and the blonde’s gaze carried elsewhere in his room. “You lived for so long, half titan,” she looked down and slowly reached for his hand, and turned it upward so his palm was facing toward the ceiling. “I heard-” she raised her other hand and ran her finger down the center of the clutch of his hand- “you had to draw blood to turn into a titan..”

An uncomfortable hazel gaze down to their hands confirmed it for her. So she knew now. A couple of hours later and his friend left with no baggage or success to claim other than another lonely night by herself.

—

He set the scene in his mind, getting deliriously lost under the stars. A few days before he left..

Reiner made it transparent that he was going to be gone for a few weeks, and Janette practically begged for the lug to hang one last night at the bar. Drinks were on her, she iterated. He couldn’t deny her, but he made no plans on getting intoxicated.

Janette was working double time as an influx of customers happened to spare their time within the business. A table of buffoons she was serving had made themselves a nuisance, but as always, Janette’s best behavior remained. She carried a tray of booze and cocktails over, and in a way of horrible manners, the bloke scooted his chair back right as she was cornering their table, and the platter went crashing down before she could even begin to think of dispersing their drinks.

Reiner had been on standby, leaving her to perform her job when she would announce to him her adieu to her customer’s needs. He did not want to buck his way in like some knight in shining armor, but only because she had told him how the buggards had been treating her the entire night did he find his stride quickly encroaching the scene.

“Hey,” his stern, yet cool voice interrupted his girl’s apologies and the gimmick of comical comments between the drunk men. There wasn’t anything he could do. He had been so used to rolling with the punches and letting them hit him in the past that he still wasn’t akin to confronting personal business. He could hold his own, but this was not the time. He made eye contact with Janette after sweeping his eyes across the table of evident offenders. The sight of the burly man made the intoxicated jokesters quiet down, only slightly snickering once and a while for reasons they couldn’t help.

Reiner arched his knee forward and planted it against the plank floor and started to pick up some shards of broken glass. At the time, Janette begged for him not to help, but the soldier did not listen. She relented and left to grab some rags and bags to secure the glass fragments, and upon returning they worked together to bag the bigger pieces and clean the crime scene appropriately. A few confident comments from the tabled stragglers were thrown to Reiner, many of the words scoring some sort of ailment of “you suck her dick or something?” or “is princess cleaning?” The customer was always right.

A pinch in his hand told him something had happened during their slander. He must’ve not been paying attention. The pair continued to clean before a few more hands of workers butted in to finish up the job. The entire time of this shift of turns to clean the mess stood the soldier, staring down at his hand with an ever so blank expression. He had cut himself quite deep. Just like how he had failed to be the best head massager, his hands weren’t made for delicately picking up broken glass, either. Blood was drizzling across his palm and he had no choice but to cover it up with his other hand. He couldn’t just admit he was bleeding to his friend, not when there were so many people around them. His nerves got to him, and he felt his face warm up. Damn. He really was the princess..

So lost in thought to a space held so captive in his mind. The soldier was careful to birth the malediction from his hand. The hair stood on the back of his neck, his arms proliferating with lanes of goosebumps. The feeling was the same- that innate sensation where an incredible source of life would bore between the fragmentation of the heavens and hell. The lights around him blurred and conformed in one proper, the glowing orb sore in front of the water laminating over his eyes as he felt every muscle tense. Could he breathe? The pain, exhaustion, and discomfort it took to partake in the sacred 2000 year old ritual. He was the chosen one. A goddess from the deep firmament bestowed this power and divinity into his blood, and every time any spilt in offering, the praxis of worship ensued. If so desired.

Control.

Hold it back.

It had been too long for him. Control wouldn’t be merited anymore, and accidents could happen. There were gods before the lands, when humans were conceived by driftwood, rolled and formed by the Jotunns. The great giantess Ymir painted their husks in her image, and promise affirmed their being. Generations resulted in reparations for the subjects. Accidents. Their bodies and blood turned to wrath and dishonesty, soon sludging the curse forever. So many souls lost in the paths. His burden.

And like the tugging of his affliction where body meets the mind and spirit; something else. A tug that made his arm lurch forward and reach out above for air. Breathe. He could not. The only exit to his blind lament was to Keep. Moving. Forward. Firm like a dove’s wings berating against the blue above, loose like a soul lost at sea, his heart hung out on the line sliding closer and closer to freedom.

He supposed it was the publicity or the embarrassment, but his eyes cleared as he was being tugged outside. His tear ducts could not catch his blurry vision in time, and the brackish water tapered to the tops of his cheeks and rolled down to meet at his jaw. His un-tugged arm folded and cleaned off the emotional stains before Janette could turn and see him, but regardless, she could tell the blonde male had been teary by the redness in his gaze. She did not expect him to speak, much like the first time she met him.

She did not need an explanation. She had already known. Titan or not, he was paralyzed by the trouble of war and peace. They were a pair of beer-scented, disheveled individuals on the street. To any scout of the night, it could’ve been reckoned that the duo was an inebriated beau getting disappointedly walked back home by his flame.

He had come to, enough to walk with a bit more sophistication, and about a few steps in their venture back to his quarters did she finally pause to access his current state. A state of love and trust. His fingers pinched at her sleeve and lightly pulled at the fabric a couple of times. This only made the brunette tilt her head in question, not totally understanding where the man was coming from. Relief. He looked.. Relieved?

He was saved. By gods, he was saved. He was so lucky to have this life.

“I embarrassed you,” he said quietly. His thought flinched from relief to the fact that he could’ve just ashamed her in front of her whole business. He didn’t want to imagine how he must’ve looked in his still, pointless panic. There was a deafening pause to their bubble. “I haven’t bled,” he included quietly. “Not like that..” It sounded stupid to any dumb ears, but the translation made it through rather clear.

Her free hand slid over to the man’s fist that was clutched to her sleeve, and she cupped whatever would fit underneath her grip as she held eye contact. It was enough. She turned on her heel, disengaged with the sentiment as she pulled the man along up the street. He didn’t embarrass her. He hadn’t done a thing wrong, and if this was an incredible relief to him, by gods she wanted to maintain it.

Time had skipped in their speechless walk where he lived. They were such messes, but they were the youth. There was something so uniquely handsome about this untied feeling the world offered. Reiner could never forget the pain, the suffering, the feelings of when life was a constant panic for him and the other people serving. The constant running, the amount of times that pain had become so prevalent that it was just a part of the contract he served. Another number, another statistic in an upward battle. It was rare for this world to know what true luxury of having a day of no worries was like.

He was looking forward. He had been given another chance. He couldn't dwell that his world would still be far from perfect, and he couldn't be jealous that maybe the future generations would finally experience what he did not. The only people truly at peace would be the humans who were resting far in the dirt and away. It was only fair for him to continue life for them. He missed Bertoldt a lot.

He unlocked the door for her and allowed her entrance into his dark chambers..

—

He woke up alone. He was forced to flex his fingers after finding they had become incredibly stiff around the temporary wrap he had created around his knife wound. He prepared himself for the day, regretting the pounding ache he felt in his temples. Lightweight. Or maybe the alcohol was unusually strong. He hoped for the latter.

There was still a divide in the government from the aftermath of Eren Jaeger. When it came to handling a resolution to political disputes between the parties for the republic and the Jaegerists, there would only be short-ended remarks his comrades would make about their fallen, suicidal maniac. He was the same. He had never forgotten. Historia was perfecting the plans for a new proposal: to accentuate the services of the military and to recapitulate the meaning of a unified country. The mission’s time near the interior was heavy in meetings and calculations for an actual, official court date. The civil matter happened to be fine with Reiner considering he could discern a schedule with Janette without much unorthodox conflict. The new government was still very much not what it used to be, and so scheduling conflicts were prevalent until now.

With Historia’s vouch, the group of war heroes were hoping for a chance to regain the trust and help to ultimately open all services to and from the outside world. It was still incredibly limited, as Reiner later learned, of what Paradis had and had no access to.

The journey back for the official meeting, and the veterans found themselves advancing toward what sounded like a loud buzzle of noise on the street approaching the court. The driver of their vehicle attempted a slight detour in order to avoid the crowd of a mere small group of pissed people. Against them. There must’ve been some sort of leak for this to start. They were heroes to most people, right? No.. This was the whole point of their mission. Plead their case, build a common cause, and mend together. A bottle slammed into the window, breaking straight through the primitive car’s thin layer of a looking glass, and hitting the driver right in the head, causing a swerve into a shop kiosk nearby.

Historia warned of something like this happening, but the group was so adamant to remain presentable by some wage of normalcy to prove to the people that they were all the same, created and serving for the same cause. It was a risk Armin was keen on taking, and like many times before, the other blonde’s face was of pure shock as the car crashed into the booth.

The crash, but no immediate move was made to what Reiner was sure would’ve happened. The soldier vetted that this rage of violence would only merit a further attack against the cornered group. Nobody came, not immediately. The crowd must’ve been shocked after realizing their own power in the situation. Maybe it had been a long time since these people felt the vigor of having any jurisdiction over what happened in their lives in a long time.

Some yells, evident shuffling and arguing pursued and the group, one-by-one, was pulled out of the car by some government security. The car had made it only 100 yards from the court. Just as soon as the male was jerked out of the car by a firm, helping hand of security, another managed to meet his face at blurry speed. He hadn’t even made it fully out of the car, but now the only way out seemed to be his body meeting flat with the street. The punch managed to contort his positioning and hook his boot into the sidebar of the automobile, and in a horrible sight, he found his shoulder met in first contact against the harsh ground. A kick. Was that a pipe? For the love of the Jotunns, why him?

His hazel eyes pierced into the slow movement. The pride of the wielder. The way his attacker held such a gesture of a god slamming down punishment to his subjects. Their eyes met, and from there Reiner could read everything. There was no need or power of any Titan that could have studied it on his behalf. Distraught, anger, sadness. Most importantly, betrayal. This commoner- or perhaps he, too was a soldier once- felt betrayed. There was a power in his swing.

They were cursed together.

His blocking forearm caught a wind of the blow, and thankfully, not so much of the brunt force upon the second swing, because Reiner managed to twist his torso enough in time that the pipe met firm with the street. He wasn't getting any younger, but the blonde ran over this reasoning thousands of times. The devil descent 13 year lifespan he was given alike tended to age the shifter quicker. Not for wisdom or lack of grace, but because of the physical pressure it put on one's bones, one's heart, one's lungs, and one's mind. The very soul would be the only thing to ring in the youth that the body could not account for.

Regaining your youth was simply something Reiner would have little chance to work with. His back ached, but the burly man quipped out his arm and lurched it at his attacker's own leg. A short break in the fight led to a tussle to the ground, pipe long discarded, and both men were grappling for dear life. For what? One perhaps wanted to do a number on the other, one perhaps wanted to hold a restraint but was gaining less and less of an opportunity to play a defensive tactic.

The soldier was going to have to abandon all of his ethics and turn offensive despite the years and years of being affirmed a defensive role. Right. Being placed in the bottom of the tussle was the first matter to deal with. Reiner was restraining the other's arms as his attacker was thrashing and finding any way to reach for their own pocket. It would be over if he allowed that maneuver to happen.

A millisecond. It was all it took for Reiner to fail, and for the other to free his hand and rush it to his side. Reiner's grip reached for an opening, but like a sick comedy his oppressor managed to take control of the other restrained hand and twist at the lunging grip with such an impounding force that the blonde soldier had no choice but to convulse his knee in the air.

Over. The oppressor pulled a knife unlike any model the hazel-eyed man had seen in Paradis. How was it that such a man of far-right nationalism took part in the opposing foreign expansion that he was so against? The thin curvature of the blade no doubt told him the reason why. It was a special forged hunting knife, and Reiner was the perfect target for its purpose to be utilized. How sickening. Obviously pure nationalism had limits when it came to foreign purchases to this man.

A few kicks in a weak attempt to get the other man off. A bewildering time to remind himself of his mortality. Ironic, how when he could turn to the power of the titans for the immortal strength yet have his life so shortened and limited. Now, when there was no immortal strength, he had to suffer the consequences of potentially dying with the odds of living for much, much longer.

His forearm blocked the resistance. Reiner faced inches away from the tip of the blade, and he swore his pupils were sweltering double vision at how close it was impending. Another grip of the blonde's other hand slapped against his wrist to hold up and maintain the resistance. Now the only thing blocking him from death was the unimpressive box he had shaped with his arms.

The entire time the soldier had been working up his knee closer and closer to their torsos. It had been a terrifying situation for him, because it seemed every inch his boot could chafe and work leverage against the street, the fight would send it back another two inches in their struggle. It was all within plan if he could just succeed. Reiner's planned attack would have to start with just a little movement. With friction on his side, and a questionable, horrifying bump, the other accommodated drastically. Reiner's arms were quick in succession. The oppressing rebel had faltered to maintain balance to Reiner's nudge. The goal was now to keep the blade at its new location: his collarbone. The other did not seem the slightest displeased, as the attempt looked like it had been a poor performance for the blonde to free himself.

He had witnessed the fighting technique in a few graphic novels he had scarcely found growing up in the Liberio internment camp. Surely pain elsewhere in his body was something he could deal with much better than his face. A release of the tension, and the knife buckled and met with the textile of his greens. The pinch and rip of the threads were inaudible, but the sensation was much louder and sound. The controlled stab was the best resort. In all time sense, the whole thing happened in the span of mere moments.

The slight release of tension from his attacker due to the shock of this whole incursion being successful- a powerful contender to how shocked the other protesters were when the bottle shattered into the vehicle. The soldier could tell from the very beginning of the incident. These people were still terrified of consequence. The look in the other's eyes as the knife met flesh confirmed his suspicion all the more.

And Reiner saw his chance. He took a gander and hammered his arm into his opponent's hand to deter any more chance of a repeat offense. This may have battered the knife a bit and coursed its blade to the side- which caused an insurmountable amount of pain for Reiner- but at least he was homeward bound. An arm out, another to defend. Repeat. The other was still off guard.

Professionalism was key. Reiner hooked the heel of the boot to the other's shoe, locking it in place against the boundary of themselves. A slight pivot, as he remembered from all those days of endless training, and the blonde thrusted his torso upward and followed his whole body weight in a switch of power.

He did not expect the strain or tearing of blood fighting to keep a steady course along the wound. So much scarlet liquid seemed to pour out, and so much loss in gravity as the balls fell and hit the ground. A tide bloomed around and stained the green of his rather proper dressage for the day's original plans. So much, that it was pathetic to see how something so unified and whole that cased a soul was utterly failing to stay together. Droplets lost contact with other droplets, and Reiner could imagine the world of red cells fighting to keep together to only be torn apart and separated from their home.

Adrenaline made it effortless for the opponent's back to get slammed into the street. It could not be enough. He was dying, and his comrades would have nothing for it if he could not defend his life for them. He was a traitor once. He was a traitor again for this foe attacking him. He was a mockery of a puppet being strung by elites for his whole life. He needed to inexplicably prove he could save and protect what was dear to him. Another man free meant another man to endanger the people he loved most. We are the same. He had been told that before, and sulking with disparage had done nothing but prove to him that he would also do anything to protect his friends.

The blonde could not let this go. The moment made him barge out a noise of pain as he yanked the knife out (yes, this is bad), and he threw it yards away from both their reach. A sickening gaze from his hazel eyes, and without a flinch of hesitancy his arms twisted, his knee boring against the other's chest as he moved around and struggled his arms around for a headlock. Kicking, screaming, even beckons for forgiveness pursued from the other. Sounds of choking, the feeling of the other's heart against his arms, and fight for movement. Reiner was not numb to it, and suddenly the entire situation made him feel nauseous.

He let go.

He was sick.

There were no heroes in this case. Both held onto their hopes of what a good future for their children would look like. A strong word with strong meaning, yet a multitude of reasoning behind it.

It's braw, aye it's braw, a captain's lady for to be And it's braw to be a captain's lady-o It's braw to ride around and to follow the camp And to ride when your captain he is ready-o Twas in the early morning, when we marched awa And O but the captain he was sorry-o The drums they did beat o'er the bonnie braes o' Gight And the band played the bonnie lass of Fyvie-o The captain's name was Ned and he died for a maid He died for the bonnie lass of Fyvie-o

*Lots of info, sorry for the dump.

Chapter 5 soon!

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hologramcowboy · 1 year

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I just finished writing this ask and I’m so sorry it ended up so long. While I’d love to read more of your insight, please feel free not to post this if you think it takes up too much of your blog space. I don’t know where to edit it as one idea sort of flowed into another. Whether you post this and respond or not, I hope you have a good day/week.

I think part of what made Jensen's portrayal of Dean feel so real and compelling is that he truly liked, then loved, Jared since a good chunk of Dean's character is his love for Sam. That isn’t to say that Jensen didn’t bring his own unique flavor to Dean or play him very well in other aspects because he’s a popular character for a reason beyond Jensen's looks, but I think the fact that he and Jared were close helped. A lot. For the most part, I found the most emotional and compelling scenes by both Jared and Jensen to be the ones they shared with each other (not all, of course, but most). However, I feel a very slight disconnect between them in the latest seasons. They still have amazing chemistry, but it’s not the palpable level it was in earlier seasons, at least to me. I think Jared got tired and put up boundaries with Jensen, and Jensen got resentful (and bought into his own hype) and they started to pull apart. Jensen’s ego didn’t need him bring "crowned" king of Bacchus, or whatever that was around that time. It could just be hindsight (I’m not immune to bias, especially as I started the show only a few years ago, then the prequel happened) but I think it noticeable that "Sam and Dean" don’t feel quite the same, even though I still love them. Even in the gag reels, while they are still funny, maybe even more so than earlier seasons, don’t feel as "real."

Anyway, my point with the above is, Jensen prides himself on going off instinct, acting more off the cuff, and enjoying "playing." These are all good skills to have, but they can’t be the ONLY tools one utilizes. It worked well with a Jared because they had a high level of comfort and intimacy and friends and long-term co-stars. In his new roles, Jensen isn’t playing opposite people he knows well and loves (or the role doesn’t lend itself to that, like SB), and the lack of connection comes through in his performances, or he is hit and miss. If he relies too much of his feelings or just letting the scene go where it does, but hasn’t done the background work of getting into his character’s head (as you’ve noted many times) then his portrayal can quickly go off course or lack focus / consistency. I still tend to mostly find him interesting to watch because he often does have a special spark, but SB was not as intense as he could be and Beau has some love,y moments but is inconsistent. I guess all of this rambling was just to say, I agree with the points you and anons have been making about Jensen.

Selfishly, I’m glad Supernatural went on for a long time because I love it, but it could have probably been more focused or maintained better quality if it ended by Season 12 or 13 at the latest (not on those story lines per se, but those amount of years). The show going for over 15 years didn’t really do Jared or Jensen any favors in the growth department. Jared got to play more variety of characters, but the last time he was anyone other than regular Sam (although a Sam has changed considerably from where he started) was season 9, and Dean, even after the mark of Cain in Season 10 was still just Dean, just slightly more open to Talking and more angry. He was Michael for about 4 episodes and that wasn’t overly focused or well-developed because the show runners were too lazy to give Jensen the guidance he asked for. So, the show wasn’t giving them a ton of room to stretch or play with new versions of their characters for quite a few years. It was safe, but not really a place for craft development for years. Frankly, the show was lucky that Jared and Jensen seemed to care as much as they did at the time because their chemistry (even if I think it wasn’t as strong as in earlier years, at times) was the only thing that kept the lazy Supernatural ship afloat.

If you or others disagree about their chemistry, I’d love to hear it. Maybe it’s just bias on my part.

Sadly, Jensen seems to have relied on being comfortable too much. I think he both resented that Jared's character was mostly the focus of the arcs (While this is understandable, he signed on to be second on the call sheet, so get over it.), and yet also resented the fact that Jared wanted out. Meanwhile, AAs and hellers are shrieking from the mountaintops that Dean is the best, Sam is boring, and Jensen is carrying the show (🙄). So, Jensen gets wind of at least some of the fan histrionics and buys into the notion that he’s the one making this ship sail. Meanwhile, Jared gets a holding deal with CBS and they decided to end the show if he’s going to be around. Then, they kill Dean and Sam lives (until he dies as an old man), killing off Jensen's lofty dreams of carrying on the Dean show as he mourns his dead brother in a badass, womanizing, drunken stupor. He probably thought it would be a success since EVERYONE knows Dean is the favorite and Jensen is the golden boy. But what he, and the AAs and hellers failed to bank on was that Sam AND Dean, Jared AND Jensen were what made the show work and beloved. Jensen is mad that Jared bailed and he (Jensen) didn’t get to pick up the first-building torch, but he should have realized that the show had been steadily declining in content for years and if he had just moved on gracefully, maybe discussed going a movie or shorter season in a few years WITH Jared, he would be in a better position today. He bought into his own hype and let his resentment build until he lashed out in a selfish and hurtful move with the terrible joke of a prequel. He’s like a spouse who lets their little resentments build until they get so angry that they feel justified in cheating and betray their significant other for some trashy new person, who is crass and cheap, and ends up leaving them and stealing all their money. (I’m not a tinhat, by the way, this just felt like an apt comparison.). Thus, he’s now known as professional on set (from all accounts I’ve heard), but unprofessional and disloyal on the greater scale, lazy as an EP, and a bad friend, who attached his name to a brand grab that is little more than a joke and an insult to the original show, its fans and his friend. Not a good look.

All this being sad, I don’t think Jensen is doomed in his career or even his friendship with Jared. If he humbles himself, stops bragging about himself and the roles he may or may not have been considered for, and starts memorizing his lines again and doing character work, picks a brand and sticks to it, he has the raw talent to still do well. On the other hand, I have no clue where he and Jared are in their friendship off camera. All I know is they do spend some time together beyond at cons, through people getting vids and pics of them, and they do seem to enjoy each other’s company on stage, and still make each other laugh. I think they can patch things up if Jensen acknowledge (or has) that what he did was sh*tty, but how can a friendship ever fully recover from a betrayal that big? Even if they still care about each other, and Jared seems very loyal, it might be a case of forgive but don’t forget. Jensen should have held on to those values fans still praise him for (however erroneously) of humility, groundedness and work ethic. I hope he genuinely had those qualities at one time because if he did, I believe he can get back to them, if he learns from the last two years.

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 Thank you for this beautiful post. I enjoyed reading each paragraph and there's no need to edit as it all flows beautifully and logically and it is expressed with sensitivity, empathy and objectivity.

"he often does have a special spark" he truly does, he has a vitality and charisma that can be quite extremely captivating and if he were to back that up with well developed performances, he would be unstoppable. "I hope he genuinely had those qualities at one time because if he did, I believe he can get back to them, if he learns from the last two years." I hope the same. As for the chemistry, I do agree, it started to dim at a certain point and it truly seemed Jensen was just going through the motions with his character. It's not uncommon for actors to go through phases where they feel disconnected from their craft and no longer into it so perhaps that was the case with Jensen, he failed to stimulate himself by deep diving into his craft and at some point got bored by repeating the same choices over and over again (as you said he runs on instinct but it's very easy to get tired of yourself when you do that). "Jensen’s ego didn’t need him bring "crowned" king of Bacchus, or whatever that was around that time." Danneel arranged for that to happen because she wanted to call herself Queen of New Orleans, her interest in doing that was also earning a standing for her own family to benefit financially due to the increase in image. She basically pretended to do something for Jensen, when in reality the end goal was boosting her family all along. Just like the sad prequel, the Bacchus thing was Danneel's suggestion. Funny how all the things she suggests always end up benefiting her and her family way more than Jensen, isn't it? "Thus, he’s now known as professional on set (from all accounts I’ve heard), but unprofessional and disloyal on the greater scale, lazy as an EP, and a bad friend, who attached his name to a brand grab that is little more than a joke and an insult to the original show, its fans and his friend. Not a good look." Exactly, fans will only focus on co-stars raving but all professionals will look at how he handled things, the comments he made about Jared, Alba as well as the name dropping, complaining about roles or even worse trying to lay claim on roles he could never even be up for due to type mismatch which shows he has no preparation branding wise. Also, the fact that is constantly buzzed and promoting alcohol even out of context. All those things tell potential buyers he is a production risk. They will first and foremost look at his performances and because he often lacks credibility to due histrionic mannerisms and expressions and also lacks the required inner work to take a performance to the next level, he won't really be competition with the colleagues he so often likes to create comparisons to. I agree, he's definitely not doomed, it will take a lot of pure intention, clear focus followed by massive action but he can redeem his image and his relationship with Jared as well. I'm going to stop here as my reply is quite long, thank you again for the incredibly beautiful post. I know I wrote text above but this is my actual response: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 Have a beautiful, fulfilling week ahead!

#jensen critical

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sunglassesmish · 1 year

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8 shows to get to know me better. thanks for tagging me @castideans-pie (i know someone else has tagged me in this before so i’m sorry i didn’t do it back then 😬)

1. manifest - see i’ve been rewatching this in time for the new episodes and it just renewed my love for these characters in my silly little show. i was actually just watching it before i made this post. i love how there’s always a plot twist and how everything is connected. people and things i’ve forgotten about come back and tie up loose ends so perfectly. (btw fuck you angelina. if you watch the show you understand why i hate her).

2. supernatural - against my better judgement, but these guys have me in a chokehold. we’re all here though, so none of you can hold this against me.

3. pretty little liars - now this was like my teenage awakening. i have watched this show from start to finish at least 30 times. it’s still the background of my old ipad that i lost like 5 years ago. i love those girls with all my heart.

4. brooklyn 99 - a classic. every episode is fun and i am always thinking ‘hmm maybe it’s time for a rewatch’ even if i’d just finished rewatching it.

5. ginny and georgia - funny enough i don’t really like ginny that much, but this show is still really fucking good. if you haven’t watched it already, i definitely recommend it.

6. shameless - okay this probably should have gone at the top of my list but whatever. i’ve rewatched this show more times than i can count. mickey and ian my beloved. plus the whole gallagher family + kevin and veronica have my heart. i miss fiona. this show is a different level of insane.

7. new girl - this is one of those classic shows that never gets old. no matter what mood you’re in, you can watch this. i swear there isn’t one episode that doesn’t have me constantly laughing.

8. good girls - i’m not sure what can i say about this show. it’s one of those shows i didn’t think i’d watch, but i ended up loving. yet again, i’ve just finished my rewatch of this show whilst studying for exams. it got me through some really boring days.

if you can’t tell, i love rewatching my silly little shows. i’d much sooner rewatch an old show than attempt to start a new one, partly because my memory is terrible and i forget half the plot anyways.

thanks for reading all of this! maybe you should consider watching some of these if you haven’t already 👉👈

#ask game #i really love talking about my favourite shows even though it’s all just a jumbled mess of I LOVE THEM

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massive-nerd-potential · 6 months

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Ranking New Who Doctors by how funny they were on regeneration energy

I tried just going for the Doctor, not for any plot but sometimes it was hard to separate haha. I do think I kept the intertwining. At a minimum though! Drumroll please……

As for NUMBER 1: The man. The icon. The TENTH Doctor.

Counting the children in needs episode I think he‘s the one who gets the most silly regeneration time (also since there is practically no time jump between regenerating and the story whereas for the others, at least SOME time has passes or is skipped pretty soon afterwards

The episode that made me go "wow I actually wanna write down this quote now because it‘s so cool“

Wake up, be badass

Be woken up by the TEA? How British do you want to be??

Just let the poor man breathe for a second Jackie, good lord

Getting up earlier than he should to help Rose and her family after the attack is so heartwarming

And also irresponsible. You are an irresponsible man. You are in NO shape to steer anything, let alone a space- and timeship

NUMBER 2: the positivity after the angst that was 12~ the THIRTEENTH Doctor!

Doesn‘t know what a tongue is, apparently (she has never NOT had one)

….let‘s work on your perception of 19 seconds, huh?

Literally creates a full ass Sonic screwdriver with a bunch of spoons and a can do attitude

"Half an hour ago, I was a white haired Scotsman“

At this point I feel like crashing after regenerating has become custom

Literally forgets the name that makes up everything she holds herself to be

NUMBER 3: my man! The Doctor ever. The TWELTH Doctor!

More serious than the ones before

Takes getting used to since he is QUITE a different Doctor compared to 11

Grumpy old man tm

Just go to bed buddy, it‘s okay

Oh no the eyebrows have declared independence!

How dare Strax and Clara not wear labels, EVERYONE would confuse them like that

Really manages to find that sweet spot between being silly and high on regeneration energy while also already showing the character of the Doctor to come

DINOSAUR!

….sad Dinosaur. Make sad Doctor

NUMBER 4: The long awaited. The facial anomaly. The FOURTEENTH Doctor!

We don‘t see much of it :(

Absolutely no one can go "What? waHAT? WHAT?“ like David Tennant

No don‘t give the Dalek man ide- STOP IT

Reference to 13! "60 minutes ago I was this really brilliant woman“

Why the hell do you just have a plunger lying around?

13 was the first one sensible enough to maybe… NOT wreak her ship with her regeneration and do it safely outside on land. And what do you do? GET IN IT AND CRASH IT! Men and their vehicles, I swear…/j

NUMBER 5: probably the most underrated Doctor of them all. The NINTH Doctor!

Mostly wasn‘t seen at all

He‘s implied to have been travelling for a bit before, just didn‘t happen to have the time to check himself in a mirror

Literally all we get is "look at the ears…“

He gets extra points for going first so they couldn’t do much

Also I love him and he‘s silly enough anyways

If you want to, you can pretend all of Rose is just him running on a high of regeneration energy

He‘d blow up a house even without though

And finally, NUMBER 6, last but not least (though im this specific case… last and least): the ELEVENTH Doctor!

Fuck you doing making a literal child COOK for you, a several hundred year old guy, IN THE MIDDLE OD THE NIGHT

Stop spitting your shit everywhere it‘s disgusting and rude, who the hell do you think has to clean that up? Cause I know you won’t!

The ole crash again

Feels like more like a sitcom bit than a sci-fi Doctor Who scene, probably due to Moffats writing background

What is your obsession with food??

An apple a day keeps the Doctor away.. truly truly

You are really really bad at landing your ship in the right time…. But we know that much already

#doctor who #the ninth doctor #the tenth doctor #the eleventh doctor #the twelfth doctor #the thirteenth doctor #the fourteenth doctor #christopher eccleston #david tennant #matt smitt #peter capaldi #jodie whittaker

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shyhaya · 1 year

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So.. I spent all evening writing this.. I hope it's good. I was feeling inspired, so..

Here's a one-shot following my 'Just to see you again' one. This time, featuring my friend, uppermuse1 's OC!

This is an Upper Moon Two/Douma x OC one-shot. Don't like it, don't read it!

Also, this contains manga spoilers!

« As it was »

─────❀◦❀◦❀─────

Icy blue eyes stared intently at the canvas, looking carefully at the landscape design painted in it. A soft melody could be heard as background noise, as the brunette let out a hum, her brush drawing delicate forms in different colors, all of dark tones that reminded of the night sky. She had been painting for hours now, her body moving just when she needed to dip her brush in another color.

She was there since the sun set; first alone, until her long time friend had come to visit her. Hatsumi humored Yushiro for a few hours, chatting about how each of them had been doing the past month. However, after dawn, he had retired to his own home. Although normally stern with his friend, Yushiro always knew when she wanted to concentrate and be alone.

In the past, this fact may have made him inclined to stay, knowing the fragile mentality she had the first few years on her own. But this time, Hatsumi seemed content, relaxed and most of all.. happy. Like, genuinely happy. This left him feeling good, to know she would be fine. And so, he left her in the same spot she now was, totally focused on her what she was drawing on her canvas.

Just when the alarm in her phone went off, showing it was currently 4:45 in the morning did Hatsumi stand up from her seat, stretching her non aching muscles to go and take a bath, deciding to sleep for a while but knowing it was going to be difficult. It was funny to her, how a century ago she wanted to sleep all the time instead of facing reality every night. And now, she couldn't wait for this day to pass.

She thought about this as she was finishing her night-morning routine, chuckling softly at the irony. How curious it was, that the same thing -people- that she missed and made her so sorrowful before is now the very same reason she was so happy now. Honestly, Hatsumi at first didn't believe she would be happy again. Now, it was almost surreal.

And as she had predicted, sleep evaded her for maybe more than half an hour, but she still fell unconscious after much tossing around.

─────❀◦❀◦❀─────

Hatsumi wandered carefully around the enormous state as different people, from young men and women to elderly people went on with their day. She had been there for two days now, and even though she was confident in her ability to disguise herself, the brunette had a feeling someone was watching her. If her suspicions were right, this was a fact.

Normally, the sighting or presence of a demon wouldn't have swayed her to investigate further but she had grown curious. In her travels a considerable amount of people had mentioned a special place for troubled individuals or just anyone that needed a home or some divine guidance. Some had commented how it was weird that people they knew went there to never be seen again, while others said nothing wrong was there.

This had been enough for Hatsumi to finally visit the Eternal Paradise Cult. And as she suspected, a demon was residing there, among the humans.

It wasn't difficult to realize this demon was a powerful one, and after her first day she had a hunch that there were possibly two demons. This made things harder for her, because if she could feel them then they certainly could feel her. Hatsumi decided to get out of there, but before she could even think of walking towards she exit, she was pinned to the wall by the throat.

« Where did he come from?! Wasn't there people a few seconds ago?! »

Her instincts were overwhelming her with the need to do something, anything to save herself from dying, but instead of surrending to panic she tried to focus. The demon restricting her was powerful, that Hatsumi could perfectly notice even though he didn't have the characteristic kanji in his eyes, so he couldn't be a lower nor an upper moon, fortunately for her.

He seemed to be a little bit taller than her, with red/white hair that covered his right eye. The left was of a purple color, and golden marks adorned his cheek and neck. He was wearing a mostly black with red outfit and a thin tail swayed back and forth behind him, almost like a cat's. He was growling at her while his sharp nails cut the skin of her neck, no doubt he wanted to end her, but she would at least try to do something to avoid it.

"What is a weakling such as yourself doing here? Speak now or I will kill you."

Hatsumi tried to calm herself down before answering, something that proved to be complicated when she was being overpowered like this. Still, she made an effort.

"I was just.. curious.. about this place.. because I've heard humans talking.. and saying how people.. specially women.. went missing.. that's all.."

The only eye visible in the demon's face narrowed. He probably didn't believe her, but she was talking the truth and he seemed to be thinking about it.

"You blend in with humans well, and you feel.. different. Is that really your only goal?"

Once she nodded, the redhead let her go but instantly grabbed her right wrist, ordering her to be quiet and follow him if she didn't want to die. Of course, Hatsumi agreed silently and walked behind him, feeling the wounds on her neck healing. She looked around, not finding any humans; this was weird but she didn't question this out loud, until they arrived to a fancy looking door, where he knocked three times before calling.

"Brother? There's something we need to discuss. May I go inside?"

From inside the room, a cheery male voice answered.

"Of course! Come in Akemi! And please, bring in our guest~"

Hatsumi flinched. The other demon was already aware of her presence and what she felt was so.. strong. It wouldn't surprise her if this demon turned out to be one of the Twelve Moons. Clenching the skirt of her kimono, the brunette stepped inside the room after the redhead tugged her.

"So she's the one who sneaked here~ she's cute. Don't you think so, little brother?~"

The one she now recognized as Akemi made her kneel down, and she heard him scoff as the other, more cheery demon approached them.

"She's weak. And I'm sure you know this too.. she is not like us. I don't trust her."

Hatsumi heard a light chuckle, before the other demon -Akemi's older brother- leaned and lifted her chin with a fan. The first thing she saw was the rainbow in his eyes, the different colors clashing beautifully in his orbs, before her own eyes widened when she noticed the kanji craved in them.

"You are right Akemi, but she is so.. interesting~"

« Upper Moon Two.. just my luck.. »

Said demon grinned with false happiness at her, and Hatsumi was surprised but intrigued by how.. empty he seemed.

"What is your name, lovely?"

The blue eyed demoness took a few seconds to process his question, too trapped in her fear and fascination.

"Hatsumi.. my name's Hatsumi. What about yours, Upper Moon Two?"

The words escaped her before she noticed what she had said. The blonde in front of her stared into her eyes, a brief sparkle of curiosity lighting in his orbs. His grin widened.

"You may call me Douma. It is a pleasure to meet you, Hatsumi-chan~ I know we'll get along just fine~ Don't you think so too, Akemi?"

The redhead looked at the blonde, surprise evident in his eye. His expression said he wanted to refuse, but he contained himself.

"So.. we're keeping her?"

Douma gave him a nod, smiling as a little child would when someone gifts them a new toy. Akemi sighed, and Hatsumi wondered what did they mean with 'keeping her'.

"Well Hatsumi-chan, it seems you'll live with us for a while!~"

She just hoped it wouldn't be anything bad.

─────❀◦❀◦❀─────

Hatsumi woke up slowly, blinking a few times to make sure she was completely awake. She tended to wake in the middle of her rest by a nightmare; so to awake peacefully after dreaming about her first encounter with the two people she loved most in her life was so shocking and wonderful.. that her eyes glossed over with tears as a nostalgic smile formed on her lips.

She stayed like that for some minutes, just replaying her dream/memory and shedding some tears. Yes, maybe how they met wasn't ideal, but she treasured every moment they spent together, no matter what happened. The brunette sighed and sat up, doing a couple of stretches as she had grown accustomed. Then, she took her phone -she really admired the humans that created them- and checked the time.

« 12:00 pm.. »

"I slept for so long? That's new.. Well, at least I have enough time to get ready."

She mumbled to herself, starting her daily routine. She made her bed and went to the kitchen to get her rations. Then, she entered her room again to pick her outfit. She choose something nice but casual, rearranging her closet out of nervousness. Maybe this wasn't the first time she went out with him -they had done so once a week for the past month- but this time was different. This time the two of them will be present.. Hatsumi was excited and scared.

« What if he hates me..? I mean, he hated me before but.. will it be the same? Everything has changed now. I don't want to be trapped in the past.. although they look exactly the same as back then.. »

The brunette questioned in her inner dialogue, pouting. She glanced at the phone again and shook her head, deciding to not dwell on the subject anymore as to not stress herself. She was happy to be reunited with them, and that was all that mattered. With that in mind, she walked to her little art studio, looking at the painting she'd been working on a few hours earlier. It was almost complete. Hatsumi figured she could finish it when she returned home that evening.

She spent the rest of the time reading a book and chatting with Yushiro. The hours went by extremely slow for her, until it was finally time to get ready; she took a quick shower and dressed herself, looking through the window of the living room to see if the sun had set already. When she deemed it was safe for her to go outside, she grabbed her purse and coat before putting on her shoes, noticing she had a message from him, a simple 'On my way with Akemi! Can't wait to see you! <3'.

Hatsumi smiled tenderly, forgetting her nerves and walking through the snow covered streets. Winter would always be her favorite season of the year. It was so festive and beautiful, and the little snowflakes reminded her of the two she cherishes so much. She wore her coat even though she didn't get cold, looking at the sky and loving Winter a lot more because with it's weather the sun was covered most of the time, making it easier for her to go out.

As she arrived at their meeting spot -a park with pretty Sakura trees that waited for spring to make them bloom- Hatsumi looked around for them, soon seeing two very familiar figures in the distance. She smiled sweetly as they neared her. Her blue eyes softened when glancing upon Akemi. He was the same as she remembered. His most demonic traits were gone and his skin was flushed pink by the cold, but he was the same. His eyes were the pretty purple color she liked and he still covered one of them with his red hair.

Being completely honest, Hatsumi had seen pictures of him before. But to meet him again in person, to stare at his grumpy but curious expression and to see him beside his brother.. all this almost made her break into tears. Her heart was beating fast, she felt warm. She felt whole again. All those years waiting and asking whatever superior being was up there if she really would see them again were now justified. To feel like this again. Every last second of pain was worth it to her.

"Hatsumi-chan! I missed you darling!~"

She was pulled out of her thoughts when the blonde suddenly wrapped his arms around her. The brunette laughed and hugged him back, nuzzling into his chest, enjoying his warmth as one of the things that confirmed her he was fully human. She pulled away slightly to press a chaste kiss on his cheek, smiling widely when he looked at her and she saw a speck of emotion in his rainbow eyes.

"Douma-san we saw each other last Sunday, don't you remember?"

Hatsumi felt the urge to laugh when his cheery expression changed to a cute pout.

"I do remember.. but that was so long ago! Do you know how excited I was to see you and to have you meet my little brother?"

She nodded, fully parting from the hug to look at Akemi, whose face practically screamed 'get a goddamn room', she bowed her head as a greeting. The redhead got closer.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Akemi-kun. Your brother has told me much about you."

The younger of the three made a slight bow, sighing softly as he looked at her.

"Likewise.. Hatsumi-san. Even though I still question my brother's decisions, it is quite pleasant to see you are.. decent."

His words were expected, and Hatsumi felt happy to know he was the same tsundere she knew before. She maintained her smile.

"I am glad you think so. I hope we can get along."

Akemi looked briefly surprised, but quickly regained his composure, adverting his eyes.

"We'll see about that.."

She heard his little mumble, but didn't comment on it, focusing instead on the amused expression on Douma's face as he watched them interact. The three then walked together to a café to buy some hot drinks, where the blonde offered to go order for all of them, indiscreetly leaving Hatsumi and Akemi alone so they could talk.

"Akemi-kun, is there something you want to tell me?"

Her question seemed to take him by surprise, as he only looked at her for a few seconds.

"Why are you being so nice?"

She tilted her head confusedly. He sighed and looked down.

"You've been going out with my brother for a month now.. and everytime he returns home he talks about you like.. like you really understand him. Like you.. honestly like him. Earlier too. You acted nice."

She smiled warmly.

"You think I'm not genuine with my feelings? That I'm using your brother?"

Akemi stared at her with narrowed eyes.

"I don't trust you. This has happened before. How can I know if you're honest?"

Hatsumi hummed softly, her gaze never wavering.

"I don't know. I can't tell you a way for you to be certain about me.. but I lo- like Douma very much.. More than I've liked anyone in my life. I feel connected to him. Like it was.. meant to be. And with you. I've heard so much about you, I'm fond of you already."

Now it was his turn to look confused at her words.

"How can you say that?"

─────❀◦❀◦❀─────

He had asked her the same question long ago on a Winter night. They were outside, not too far from the cult's place. Hatsumi had said she wanted to get some fresh air, and both brothers accompanied her. It had been.. at least a year since she had sneaked into their home. A year, and she no longer felt like a prisoner.

It was kind of ironic that when they were not doing anything besides looking at the sky and walking around, some slayers stumbled upon them. The humans had quickly pointed their swords to them, scared but willing to fight. And maybe it was because her instinct told her to move or because she didn't want anyone to get harm, but Hatsumi had tried to fight the slayers, getting a pretty bad injury in the process until her companions had killed the slayers. Even when she didn't attack to kill, she had defended them.

"Are you stupid or what?! Why did you do that?!"

She had winced as Akemi yelled at her. His brother watched her injury slowly heal itself.

"He is right Hatsumi-chan. We are strong, you know? You could have been beheaded! Not that I would have let them~ But what possessed you to do that?~"

Douma had talked to her in his everlasting false happy tone, but there was something different about it, a subtle change at the end, as well as a strange sparkle in his eyes. Hatsumi stared at the ground.

"I just.. I didn't want you to get hurt.."

Her tone had been shy, and she could feel Akemi's stern glare.

"How can you say that? We can protect ourselves."

Hatsumi looked at them with a tender gaze.

"Because I care both for your brother and you. I'd rather let myself be hurt than let anyone hurt you two."

Both brothers had been shocked by her confession, and in that moment something shifted in them. They looked at each other briefly, confirming they had thought the same. Douma cupped her cheek, staring at her with an amused and not so fake smile.

"You don't have to worry about that darling~ We won't be defeated that easily~"

He helped her stand up and they returned home. When they were arriving, Akemi turned around to face her, an expression she had never seen before on his face.

"Thank you for what you said.. but don't worry about us. We are the ones who should look out for you.. You won't get hurt again."

Hatsumi smiled tenderly at him after she got out of her initial shock, nodding her head. Akemi returned to his usual attitude when he saw her so moved.

"But it's not that I care for you.. You're just weak."

The redhead said, going on his way. But even if he denied it, the brunette knew he cared.

─────❀◦❀◦❀─────

Hatsumi went back to the present time, still a little stunned by how similar Akemi's question and demeanor had been to the first time he said that. She focused on him again, giving the answer she felt was right.

"Because I care both for your brother and you. I'm not asking you to believe me now, but I promise you I'd rather let myself be hurt than hurt you two."

Akemi looked at her, not knowing exactly what to say to that.

"You.. you really meant that..?"

The brunette nodded, staring at him with the same warmth she always had reserved for them.

"I do. I mean it."

His eyes stared down again, as he thought about her words. Hatsumi let him take his time. It wouldn't matter how much it took, she'll win his trust.

"Then.. I suppose I'll try to believe you.."

She smiled widely at that, and continued to do so the rest of the evening. They walked her home, with the brunette and the blonde scheduling their next date while Akemi looked at them with a deadpan. Then, they said their goodbyes and the two brothers left. Hatsumi watched them go and went to her art studio to finish her painting, suddenly inspired.

"And~ did you like her? Isn't she the best?~"

Akemi looked at Douma and sighed.

"If she makes you happy, then it's okay for me.."

The older of the two giggled, knowing very well his little brother was growing fond of her. Meanwhile, Akemi stared forward again, thinking about what she said and how familiar it was to him. Like his brother said when he first mentioned her.. 'It's like I already know her.' A small smile appeared on his lips.

"She's not so bad I guess.."

─────❀◦❀◦❀─────

A few hours later, Hatsumi grinned contently at her finished work. She signed it and wrote something at the bottom. The painting was a beautiful night sky, with stars and a bright crescent moon. There was also a hill illuminated by the moonlight, where three little figures stood. The way they were designed made them look like they belonged together. The brunette gave it one last look before walking out of the room.

At the bottom of the canvas, there was written:

'Where my heart belongs.'

Finally! I finished! I was so excited by this one-shot I just couldn't stop writing~ ^^

Anyways, I hope you liked it <3

Dedicated to @uppermuse1

Your OC and you have inspired me a lot. I'm so glad to have you as a friend :3

#demon slayer douma #oc story #demon slayer manga #oc tag #oc x canon #oc stuff #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #douma

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