#background romantic remile

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

The Choosing Ball

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The law is clear and very very simple: Janus must choose someone at the ball to become his future husband or wife. He would have two days to pick and at the ball they would choose. If he refused or wasn't chosen, he would be considered an outcast, a criminal against the state. Easy, simple, there was just one tiny problem.

Janus was already in love with someone else. Someone who he didn't have the option to choose.

Fortunately for him, Prince Roman doesn't seem to see that as a problem at all.

----

| Ao3 | Next -> |

Warnings: none (individual chapters will have their own warnings listed if needed)

Pairings: Anaroceit, background intruality, remile

Notes:

Anaroceit royalty AU anaroceit royalty AU anaroceit royalty AU anar-

Ok if you can't tell I'm very excited about posting this. I actually considered for a while using this as my entry for the TS Storytime Big Bang (btw, go sign up, lol) but I decided against it, so now you guys have it!

I've had this sitting in my google docs for a very long time, I tried my best to fix up grammar and stuff, especially in the first part, but please bare in mind that it's probably not as good as it could have been, I don't have anyone to beta read for me, lol.

Regardless, I really hope you guys enjoy this au as much as I do!!

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“I know, my darling,” Janus whispered quietly into the dark of his room, the man curled into his side on the comfortable window seat groaned and shifted, “It’s unfair.”

“But why,” Virgil hissed out, Janus carded fingers through his hair, trying in vain to calm him as he had been doing all evening, but his personal guard - and secret romantic partner - was so worked up that even now he refused to relax, “What will happen to us after this weekend? My prince… I don’t want this to stop…”

“I know, darling,” Janus whispered again, squeezing Virgil’s shoulders. The situation they were in was indeed an unorthodox one. Virgil was his guard, no-one of noble blood, it just so happened that he had been the best that the castle could hire. Janus had found that he’d taken an immediate liking to the anxious boy - it was deceptive, how nervous he was, Janus had seen him with a sword, and Virgil could be deadly even without one - the moment he’d been presented in the throne room.

“I must pick a husband or wife at The Choosing Ball,” Janus said, quoting the law he knew off by heart, “If a royal has not found their partner by midnight on the night of this decennial ball, they shall be exiled, disowned and outcast, no longer considered of royal blood.”

“You’re twenty three years old now,” Virgil murmured sadly, “So you have to go this time.”

“Yes,” Janus nodded, “And you will be accompanying me.”

“I- what?” Virgil shot up, wide eyed, “But- but isn’t the ball only for royals and nobles?”

“It is, though we are allowed to bring some guards and servants, though weapons must be deposited on entrance,” Janus said, pulling a scroll from his sleeve, as though he’d just made it appear, and handing it to Virgil, “Here, all the regulations are written.”

Virgil read for a moment, before his eyes went wide, “Any servants or guards accompanying the royals and nobility will be given separate chambers? We’ll… be apart?”

“Indeed,” Janus said, tone a little sad, before scowling “It is supposed to help give us a chance to bond with the other candidates, since we will be sharing rooms with the ones the organisers consider us most likely to get along with, it is not necessarily to help up find our matches, moreso to strengthen future relations between kingdoms,”

“So we… won’t be able to see each other?” Virgil asked, voice shaking a little, Janus knew that he was panicking, trying hard to push the anxiety away, he was losing the battle quickly. 

“You can accompany me around the castle and at the ball itself,” Janus reassured, kissing his cheek, “And besides, I am known for my ability to sneak, I’m sure I’ll be able to sneak out and find you at nigh.”

He pressed another kiss to the top of his lover’s head, pulling him close and rubbing his ungloved hand up and down his arm. Virgil relaxed, if only slightly. Later, Janus would lift him and move them over to his bed, curling himself protectively around his guard- though it should really be the other way around- and falling asleep. 

—-

The next day, the castle was all a flurry. Handmaids manhandled him into a luxurious bath, scrubbing him down harshly. They didn’t care about his winces and huffs when their sponges and brushes moved too close to the delicate snake scales adorning the left side of his face - which also ran all down his chest and arm and coated his hand. Afterwards, he was manhandled back out of the bath and forced into more formal clothes than he would normally ever wear, even for council meetings with his father. 

The morning passed in a daze as servants rushed around, making sure everything he would need for the three day long trip was packed up and making sure he himself was ready. He couldn't find a moment of peace - or even a moment to see Virgil (his guard was getting much the same treatment as himself since everyone who would be in their convoy had to look perfect). 

Even in his room he was constantly being addressed by servant after servant, one bringing him the jewellery the seamstress had instructed go with his clothes and making sure it was all fastened properly. Three maids came in after that to comb and style his hair, a crown of braids pulled back into a perfectly neat bun on the back of his head that would keep his actual crown (which was to be brought to him later) secure on his head. 

The crown had a black veil attached to one half, hiding the golden scales on his face, the curse made him look unbecoming, they said.

By noon most of the convoy was ready to set off and the few handmaids and servants who would be making the journey with him were already settling into their own carriages. Janus still hadn’t seen Virgil, who was supposed to be riding in Janus’ carriage with him at his request. He was starting to become worried. He was stopped though by the approach of the king.

“Father,” Janus bowed deeply as the king stopped in front of him, placing a heavy hand on his shoulder. Janus looked up, worried, wondering if he was about to be lectured for… something.

“Son,” His father responded, though he seemed to lose words after that, he took a moment to recover, when he did he didn’t sound angry, just… tired, “Just- please pick someone, Janus, you are my only son, I can’t lose you.”

Janus’ stomach did a flip, but all he did was take a deep breath to calm himself, before speaking, “I’ll… try, father.”

“Good boy,” His father nodded, stepping back and looking him over, eyes flickering to his scales, now hidden by a veil that made it even more difficult than normal to see though his left eye, “The handmaids did a good job making you look presentable.”

“Indeed,” Janus replied through gritted teeth, he never really knew how to feel about the way they treated his curse, but now there were more pressing matters, “Father, has anyone seen my guard? Storme? I haven’t seen him and he should be accompanying me.”

“I’ll have someone look for him,” His father nodded, “Get comfortable son, you have a long journey ahead of you.”

—-

“We found your guard, sire,” two other guards called from outside his carriage, “He’s not in the best state, we managed to get him out of the palace, but he’s asking for you.”

Janus was out of the carriage in two seconds flat, and the two guards led him back up the driveway to the doors, where another guard was holding onto Virgil. He looked absolutely stunning, decked out in the castle guard uniform, his own hair done up neatly and a shining sword at his back, though Janus quickly stopped his train of though, this wasn’t the time for admiring his partner who at present looked to be hyperventilating. The guard holding him let go as Janus approached, the prince crouched down next to Virgil, resting a gentle hand on his back. 

“Shh,” Janus whispered, drawing the ‘s’ out into a low hiss- he’d learned the sound was calming for Virgil, though he tried his best to repress the hiss in regular conversation- “I’m here, I’m safe, you're alright, deep breaths, Vee.”

“Jan?” Virgil murmured, finally looking up, his pupils were blown wide in panic, “You’re here?”

“I’m here,” He nodded, gently rubbing Virgil’s back. He could feel the guards gawking at them, so he shot them a glare over his shoulder.

“Inform the convoy that we will be present momentarily,” Janus commanded them, one nodded and the three scurried off, leaving them relatively alone.

“Can you walk?” Janus asked, voice gentle, “I will be able to comfort you better once we’re situated in the carriage.”

“I thought…” Virgil mumbled, already trying to get to his feet, “I thought you’d leave me behind…”

“Now why would I do that?” Janus asked, bracing Virgil with an arm so that he wouldn’t fall, “Of all the stupid things,”

“I… don’t know,” Virgil looked away, ashamed, “My thoughts ran from me again, I’m sorry.”

“Now now, I thought I’d gotten you to stop with apologising for that,” Janus said, flicking Virgil’s nose with a finger to show he wasn’t angry.

“Sorry,” Virgil mumbled again as they finally reached the carriage, the door was held open for him and he stepped inside, before turning to help Virgil in as well. 

“Close the curtain,” He commanded, though gently, as he reached to close the other. Virgil did so quickly, before slumping down onto the seat, Janus sat carefully next to him, taking his hand and squeezing it gently.

"Are you alright?" Janus asked once they were finally in private.

Virgil hesitated, taking a few deep breaths before sighing, "I’m much better now, thanks to you." 

"You're certain?" Janus asked, reaching his other hand to cup Virgil's face, running a thumb over his cheek. He saw the blush creeping onto his guard's pale face and smiled.

"I'm alright, I swear it," Virgil nodded, turning his face in order to kiss Janus' gloved palm.

“You look gorgeous,” Janus said with a smile, lowering his hand to his lap and gently nudging Virgil's shoulder with his own. Virgil turned to him, rolling his eyes.

“They- they pinned back my bangs,” He said, a hint of annoyance in his voice, Janus couldn’t help but chuckle, giving Virgil a distraction would help even more than his presence alone already had, he knew. 

“Yes, and I can see your pretty eyes now,” Janus grinned, leaning forward a little so they were mere inches apart, staring into the deep purple of Virgil’s eyes, the head of the convoy had called for everyone to begin heading out and the carriages all began moving,

“I can’t see yours,” Virgil said, glaring at the veil before reaching forward and pushing it out of the way, trying to tuck it behind his ear, Janus couldn’t help but smile, in the end Virgil gave up and simply took off the crown altogether, “There, much better,”

"I'm glad to see that you are feeling better,” Janus said, he couldn’t help leaning forward to press a kiss to Virgil’s cheek, "And I'm sorry I couldn't come to find you sooner," 

“It's alright, my own fault anyway for letting my thoughts get to me so much,” Virgil said quietly, leaning forward to kiss Janus’ cheek in return, though Janus turned his head at the last seconds and caught Virgil’s lips with his own, when they broke apart, Virgil’s face was red with blush and Janus couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Good,” he said, before returning for another kiss. 

—-

The castle in which the ball was held was bigger than his own, though it was also in the middle of nowhere with no surrounding kingdom. Royals and the highest of nobility from all of the ruling kingdoms in each of the twelve surrounding countries would be attending, so Janus had really no idea what to expect after they arrived. Likely to be forced into mingling with forty-odd other barely adult royals and nobles. How annoying.

“Once we leave the carriage we will be separated,” Janus warned Virgil, squeezing his hands tightly, “As they will be showing us to our sleeping quarters, I will come and find you as soon as I can, alright my darling?”

Virgil nodded, pulling back one of the curtains to look out of the window only to see the carriage pass under an enormous, elaborately decorated gateway.

“You’d better be ready to tell me about how awful all your roommates are when you do,” Virgil smiled at him, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.

“Oh trust me, I’m sure I’ll have much to complain about when we meet again,” Janus smiled, before reaching up to remove one of his earrings- an ear cuff designed to look like a snake coiled around his upper ear- and handed it to Virgil, “Keep this safe for me until I come back, will you?”

“Of course,” Virgil said with a nod. It was a game they liked to play, really, whenever Janus or Virgil had to leave for whatever reason, Janus would give Virgil a piece of his jewellery to ‘keep safe’ until they met again. It seemed to help with the anxiety of being apart. Though Janus would never admit that it helped him as well as Virgil to deal with separation. 

Janus sighed as the carriage stopped moving and he began to hear a flurry of noise from outside. He pressed a quick kiss to Virgil’s forehead, squeezing his hand one last time and hastily returning his crown to his head before the door of the carriage was opened for them and they stepped out. Immediately Janus was whisked away by a person who was unfamiliar to him, though from their clothes Janus could guess that they worked for the castle’s staff. 

“I will be showing you to your room, your highness,” The butler informed, “And I am head of servants for your room during your stay, You may call me Elliott, if you need me for any reason, do not hesitate to ask another servant to retrieve me,”

Janus only hummed an acknowledgment, keeping his expression set in stone. Gone were the kind smiles and gentle words he allowed to be shared with Virgil, now all they would see was the stone cold face of the serpent prince, as the rumours called him.

As they walked, Elliott had informed him that he was the first of his room to arrive, and that he’d be staying with three princes other than himself, though he wasn’t informed of who exactly they were, and he didn’t particularly care, as for now he was focusing on surveying the area and committing the rooms he saw and the route they took to memory.

They stopped when they arrived at his room, Elliott opened the doors wide and allowed him to look around their shared chambers. The room was shaped as an octagon, with four beds large enough to fit three larger people comfortably each on every opposite wall. Each fourth of the room seemed to be identical, with a vanity and dresser each, though each space was decorated differently, with different delicately painted art on the walls of each quadrant, different colours and designs of bedsheets and drapes. It seemed that the room was designed as four separate rooms with the walls between them simply removed.

“Since you are the first to arrive, you’re able to choose which space you want,” Elliott told him, “Your belongings will be brought up later in the day, otherwise you are asked to wait here until all of your roommates arrive unless informed otherwise, and then you will be given free reign to explore the castle until the communal banquet at eight this evening.”

With Janus’ sharp nod of understanding, Elliott left him in the room alone. Immediately Janus moved towards the section of the room decorated in purple and gold. The wall art depicted scenes of nature- golden vines with lilac flowers wrapping delicately around each other in front of a background that showed through different shades of purple. The bedsheets were plum, with royal purple and gold patterning stamping similar curling vines into the sheets. Janus found the colour reminded him of Virgil- purple was always his guard’s favourite colour.

He found there was nothing much to do- if he were to be confined to this room until his roommates arrived- so he simply laid down on the centre of the bed and resigned himself to wait.

----

| Next -> |

Tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @reptilianrapscallion420 @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess (if anyone wants to be added generally or for this specific fic, let me know!)

@glacierruler I'm tagging you too because you seemed very interested in this one on the poll, lol, please link if you'd rather not be for future updates though :)

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #anaroceit #janus sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #royalty au #rowans writings

[tss-storytime-summaries]

26

Expected Rating: Teen

Warnings: PTSD, child abuse, child neglect, physical and emotional abuse, discussions of trauma, abelism, homophobia, arophobia, self-hatred, intrusive thoughts (Remus-typical), panic attacks, emetophobia, illness, and hopefully that's it :*)

Characters: Remus, Roman, Janus, Logan, Patton, and Virgil. With kid!Remus and kid!Roman in flashbacks, and appearances from Thomas, Emile, Remy, and Cartoon Therapy characters.

Romantic Relationships: Background Remile and Dot/Larry, with possible endgame Dukexiety, Loceit, and Royality.

Summary: Sanders Academy of Art offers a wide range of programs for prodigious students entering high school. Prospective students face a harsh acceptance process, two separate auditions, and a whole lot of paperwork on top of the whole deal.

I, Emile Picani, happen to oversee these auditions, and the future education of six very special students.

The odds of these six boys ending up in the same dorm room for the next school year are astronomically low, but here we all are. When they meet for the first time, things aren’t exactly stellar, but! They still have plenty of time to win over the hearts of their new friends.

It would be nice if that were a little easier, but hey, working on your emotions takes time, and it’s not something all 14-year-olds are used to. They just happen to have… a lot of emotional problems.

Nothing a certain resident counselor can’t help with! (*cough*)

Facing a brand new school, no familiar faces, and enough combined baggage to fill the average commercial airplane is tough, but now, they have each other, an amazing school that lets them focus on their dreams. Perhaps things are going to work out better than any of them could have expected.

(AKA a shameless high school au where all these boys have autism, need therapy, or both)

#tss storytime 2023 #tss storytime summaries

[teacupfulofstarshine]

when you look at me with those eyes (i’m speechless)

summary: virgil finally manages to ask out the pretty enby in his class, just in time for his father's epic gala event. sadly, neither of them would know fashion if it bit them in the ass. luckily, they both have friends to help them out. 

(OR: almost 3k words of analogical being useless fluffy gays)

wordcount: 2934

ships: romantic analogical, background romantic roceit, background queerplatonic intruality, background romantic remile

cw: cursing 

read it on ao3!! 

“So, uh, wh - what do you say?” 

Logan looks up from their desk, homework long forgotten. Their left hand is stretched out to cover the little doodle they’d been doing of the back of Virgil’s head, and now Virgil himself is standing in front of them, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly and looking anywhere except at Logan. He’s still wearing that patchwork purple plaid hoodie, and for some reason the only thing Logan can think of is that it’s definitely a violation of their school uniform. 

Virgil’s eyes skitter back to their face, skipping from their shoulder to their chest to their neck to their cheek. Their eyes meet for a moment, Virgil’s illuminated by the afternoon sunshine pouring in, and Logan forgets how to breathe. Virgil’s pink face gets even pinker, and his eyes settle on a point fixed above Logan’s shoulder. 

“Are you just gonna stare at me?” he snaps. “If you’re gonna reject me, just -”

“No!” Logan blurts. Virgil’s shoulders jump up to his ears, and Logan stands so fast their chair falls over behind them. “I - I mean - I’m not rejecting you, I - um - yes! Yes, I - I’d love to! That is to say - I - uh -” 

Virgil laughs a little, reaching out and tucking a stray curl of Logan’s hair behind their ear. They hadn’t even noticed that wisps had started escaping their high ponytail, but Virgil just smiles at them. “Cool,” he says. 

“Yes,” Logan breathes. “It - it is, objectively, quite ‘cool’.” 

“The event’s on Saturday night.” Virgil’s fingers tuck their hair behind their ear, gently tracing down the curve of their neck and sliding up to touch their jaw. “Pick you up around six PM or so?” 

Logan swallows, and they’re sure Virgil can hear it but he gives no indication if he did. “That - that sounds optimal.” They cringe inwardly - optimal? What the hell? - but Virgil just laughs and slides his hand up to cup their cheek. 

“You keep busting out all those smart-person words and I’m gonna have to kiss you before I buy you dinner, and that’s not very nice of me.” His hand drops from Logan’s face, and it takes all their willpower not to scream for him to put it back. He gently picks up their hand, lifting it to his bitten-raw lips and gently pressing a kiss to the back. “That’ll have to hold you over until then.” 

He turns and saunters away, and Logan grips the edge of their desk. They almost sit down on the chair they’d knocked over, catching themselves at the last second. Looking around the empty classroom, they catch sight of themselves reflected in the windows. They’d opted for a mixture of the uniforms today, wearing the boys’ shirt, vest, and tie over the girls’ skirt, knee-high stockings, and shoes. Their hair is tightly tied back with a plain hair tie, no ribbon, only one curl out of place where Virgil had tucked it behind their ear. 

They don’t typically dress themselves for much other than school (uniform), work (uniform), or home (casual clothing). They have no idea what they should wear for a date. Their phone buzzes on the desk, and they snatch it up quickly, flipping it open to see a message from Virgil. 

(They’d forgotten he had their number, from that project they did together last month.) 

You have: One! New message! 

FROM: Virgil 

hey, forgot to tell u - this gala is like, a bfd for my dads’ company, so dress up! like its prom or smthn, or a wedding 

Logan exhales, gathering up their school things and shoving them into their bag with an uncharacteristic haphazardness. This is going to require . . . outside intervention.

(Meanwhile, a few doors down, Virgil slams the door to his own classroom, shoves his face into his hands, and lets out the quietest feral screech he can manage. Derek, seated on the teacher’s desk with Roman pulled up between his legs, raises a single eyebrow.

“Is that a screech of success or a screech of failure, Virgil?”)

*~*~*~*~*

“What does one wear on a ‘fancy date’? I have never been to a wedding or a prom, let alone a gala! I do not own anything fancy!” Logan paces around their bedroom, hair hanging loose around their shoulders. Patton is on his back, hanging upside-down off of their bed and flipping through some sort of guitar catalog. Remus is curled up in Logan’s desk chair with some sort of slime in his hand. “Remus, if you get slime on my belongings I will end you.” 

Remus grins, looking deranged, and Logan resists the childish urge to throw something at him. 

“Don’t sweat it, Lo-Lo!” Patton says. “I’ve got a ton of pretty clothes in my room, you can borrow something from me! We’re still the same size, right?” 

“I assume so,” Logan says, “but what if I do not look right in your clothing? Our styles are vastly different, I would not wish to present a false impression of myself to him, I -”

“You worry too much!” Remus says. “Virge asked you out even though you’re a workaholic disaster who wouldn’t know the meaning of ‘relax’ if it bit him in the -”

“Remus!” Patton scolds, throwing one of Logan’s decorative constellation pillows at him. Remus bats it away with his foot. 

“Please do not throw things around,” Logan says tiredly. “Particularly my things.” 

“Sorry, Lo!” Remus does not apologize, but he does put the slime he’s been playing with back into its little plastic container. 

“Well, actually,” Patton says, flipping over onto his tummy, “it just so happens that I’ve been waiting for exactly this moment.” Logan looks at their twin in confusion. “I knew that eventually, there was gonna come a day where you would look at somebody and want to go on a date with them, whether it be a simple movie or a fancy date like this one, and you were gonna call me in here - didn’t know Remus would be here too, but he’s not unwelcome -”

“Thank you?” 

“- and you’d pace around and panic and go, ‘Patton! I don’t have anything optimal for this date, and our personal styles are so vastly different! What ever is there to be done?’” Patton flings one hand dramatically across his forehead like a Victorian woman fainting onto a couch. Logan raises one eyebrow. 

“So! I came up with the perfect solution! I’ve been secretly acquiring outfits for you! Stuff that you could wear for a variety of situations that you wouldn’t ever think of! We can mix and match to find something you like! Oh, and I also have a ton of unopened hypoallergenic makeup in a box in my closet!” 

Logan stares at him, blinking and trying to process everything Patton’s just told them. “You . .. you really did all that, for . . . for me?” 

“Yeah, of course I did! You’re my twin, Lo. I love you.” Patton smiles, bright and open and honest, and Logan blinks again, and suddenly their cheeks are wet. 

“Are you fucking crying because Patton is a considerate brother?!” Remus cackles. Logan whirls around, hiding their face and wiping at it frantically. “Oh my god, you are, I fucking called it, Roman owes me twenty bucks!” 

“You bet on this?” Patton asks, disapproving. Logan laughs a little, turning around to hug their twin. They can’t quite bring themselves to care about Remus’s gambling right now. 

*~*~*~*~*

“Why are you bitching?” Roman asks, pulling Derek’s hand up to his face. He’d forgotten his saline solution at his own house, so he’s wearing his old red glasses, bangs pulled up in a shitty unicorn-horn ponytail as he squints at Derek’s nails. Derek holds a book up with his free hand. “You managed to get them to go out with you, didn’t you?” 

“Yeah, but I was awkward as fuck about it, Roman!” Virgil complains. He considers throwing something at Roman, or shoving a pillow over his face and screaming (again), but the deep indigo-purple polish on their fingernails is still drying. “I touched their hair, they probably think I’m a fucking creep!” 

“As someone with that exact reputation,” Derek says, “I highly doubt they would have agreed to accompany you on a date if they shared your sentiments about yourself.” 

“Yeah, but -”

“Lighten up a little, man,” Roman says, carefully stroking the yellow brush over Derek’s index nail. “You’re totally fucking with the vibe of the chill session.”

“What do you want me to do?! I told them to dress fancy cause we’re going somewhere nice, like I have any idea how to dress other than ‘crawled out of a dumpster and sewed together some punk band’s leftovers’!” 

“Why did you think you invited me?” Roman says haughtily. He’s imitating some YouTube video they’d watched earlier. “I’m the king of style!” 

“You’re the king of something,” Virgil mutters. 

“No, seriously, I’m gonna help you!” Roman says. “I’m sure you have something that looks half-decent buried in your closet, and I am nothing if not an expert in bringing things out of the closet.” Derek’s cheeks blush faintly pink, but he doesn’t say anything. “And Der here is amazing with makeup -”

“I wouldn’t say experience with stage makeup and covering my port wine stain makes me amazing or anything,” Derek begins. 

“Well I would, so shut the fuck up,” Roman says smoothly. Derek rolls his eyes and huffs fondly. “Seriously, Vee, did you really think we were gonna egg you on to ask the pretty nerd out for this long and then leave you high and dry when the time came to deliver the goods?” 

Virgil exhales, bringing his hands up to his face to examine his nails. “I think they’re dry . . .”

“Nice! Get over here, once I’m done with Derek’s base color I’m putting sparkles on you.”

“What? Why?” 

“Because it’s my house and I get to choose the bonding activity, god damn it.” 

*~*~*~*~*

“No.” 

“What do you mean, no?” Logan says, pulling their hair up into their traditional high ponytail. “What else am I supposed to do with it? I hate leaving it down, it feels bad on my neck -”

“I know,” Patton says, “but you can’t just put it in the same old ponytail you always do! This is a fancy gala event, you have to be fancy! ” 

“What else am I supposed to do with my hair?” 

“You will not do anything. I will do your hair,” Patton says firmly. “And by I, I mean Remus, because I’m not good at hair.” 

“Remus is not putting his hands, which have been god only knows where, in my clean hair.” 

“Rude!” Remus says. “I washed them three times today! You can inspect them if you want, I promise they’re clean!” Logan squints at his hands critically before sighing and settling into the chair in front of Patton’s vanity. 

“Very well.” 

Remus brushes through their hair and then combs it, carefully working through the knots while doing his best to preserve their natural curl. He separates two small wings and pins them out of the way before pulling the rest of Logan’s long curls into a mid-height ponytail and braiding it with surprisingly delicate fingers. He carefully twists the long braid up into a bun at the nape of Logan’s neck and pins it there with a gleaming silver hairpin tipped with a shining eight-point star with a dark blue jewel set in its center. 

Carefully, Remus unpins the locks of hair he’d set aside and braids them as well, weaving them into a crown of braids on Logan’s head and cleverly hiding the ends by pinning them into the braided bun. Finally, he pins back a few stray wispy curls with silver bobby pins that have star-shaped cubic zirconium on the ends. “Take a look!” 

Logan has had their eyes closed the entire time, quietly stimming with their hands. They open them slowly, looking in the mirror and tilting their head back and forth to see all of the work Remus has done. “Oh,” they say softly. “I love it, Remus. I look beautiful.” 

“You always look beautiful,” Remus says. “I’d ruffle your hair if I hadn’t spent so much time making it look decent.” Logan leans back, gently pressing their cheek against his shoulder. Remus huffs and mutters something about “gross affectionate shit,” but he still lets them do it. 

Patton breaks out the makeup after that, spinning the stool around so that Logan can’t see their own face in the mirror. “Alright, Lo! Time to accentuate your pretty face!” 

“That was a surprisingly accurate use of the word accentuate.” 

Patton just shrugs and grins at them. “I know big words!” 

*~*~*~*~*

“You look fine,” Roman says, pulling a strip of fabric around Virgil’s throat and beginning to knot it into a bowtie. Virgil can’t stop himself from looking over himself in the mirror one more time - dark black dress pants, a silver dress shirt, a deep purple vest that matches the polish on his nails, black and purple eyeshadow accompanied by dark red lipstick and sharp cheekbone contour courtesy of Derek. Roman pulls the purple-and-silver striped fabric of his bowtie into the final bow, and he smiles. 

“Don’t worry, Virge. I know you’re worried, but you look fine.” 

“You don’t look like a vampire at all,” Derek adds. Virgil hisses at him. “That is certainly going to help that image.” 

“Seriously,” Roman says, “don’t worry about my stupid boyfriend. Logan agreed to go out with you, and I’m sure they’re going to find you absolutely stunning.” 

Virgil rubs the back of his neck, blushing, because he knows that if he touches the hair Derek and Roman had combed and gelled and styled and wrestled with for the past thirty minutes they will collectively murder him without a second thought. Derek smiles, reaching over to pat his shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Vee. Seriously. I know I mock you a lot, but you really do look good. It’s gonna be okay.” 

Virgil still feels nervous when he steps out of his car in front of the address Logan had given him. The lights are bright and cheerful, and when he knocks on the front door with his free hand, the door swings open eagerly. “Hello!” the man says cheerily. He’s wearing a pink tie and a brown cardigan, and he looks like Virgil expects Patton to in a few decades. “You must be Virgil!” 

“Uh, um, y-yes sir!” Virgil yelps. 

“Oh, you look precious! Remy, dearest, Logan’s date is here!” 

“Cool, babes,” a voice floats in from the kitchen. “I’ll take over the soup.” 

“Come on in! You can call me Emile, Lo is upstairs with Patton and Remus getting ready! Just wait here in the foyer, I’ll go up there and get them!” Emile hurries off up the stairs, and Virgil fidgets nervously with the flowers in his hand.

Patton all but slides down the bannister, grinning. “Are those for Lo?” 

“Y - yeah?”

“I’ll go get a vase out of the kitchen so they can put them in water before you two go!” Virgil pulls a single star-shaped lily bloom from the bouquet and spins it between his thumb and middle fingers. Emile comes hurrying down the stairs with a camera, sets himself up at the foot of the stairs, and shouts for Remus. 

“Finally,” Logan huffs, and then a door creaks open and shuffled footsteps approach the top of the stairs and then Virgil promptly forgets how to breathe. 

They look gorgeous. 

They have a crown of braids leading to a braided bun, studded with jewels that gleam like stars and a larger star pinning the bun back. They’re wearing the most beautiful dress Virgil has ever seen; the top is black, high-necked, and form-fitting, with short sleeves that are see-through ruffles of black gauzy material. The sleeves and the bodice are covered in sparkling silver rhinestones that look like stars in the night sky. There’s a silver band wrapped around their waist, and the skirt is made of layers of loose folds of fabric. The front comes down to their knees and the back comes down to their mid-calves, and the pattern is a soft blue-pink-purple galaxy color scheme. They have simple dark blue ballet flats on their feet, and as they get closer, what little breath Virgil had in his lungs is gone. 

Someone with experience has clearly done Logan’s makeup. Their eyes are coated in shimmery dark-blue-and-silver eyeshadow, eyes lined with soft smudged pencil and popping out of their face, freckles somehow still visible under the makeup. Their lips are glossy and pink and look so deliciously kissable that Virgil can barely restrain himself. 

“You look wonderful,” the vision in front of him says. 

“You - I - um - good!” Virgil stammers. Logan blushes, and Virgil thrusts the bouquet at them. “These - for you!” 

“Oh!” Logan takes the bouquet and smiles, and Virgil nearly passes out. “They’re beautiful! I -”

“I have a vase for you!” Patton chirps, hurrying in to take the bouquet and plop it into a vase. “I’ll leave it in your room!” Logan smiles, and Virgil reaches up to carefully tuck the lily behind their ear, into the carefully woven braids.

“You look beautiful,” he says honestly. “You’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life.” Logan flushes, smiling. 

“It makes sense that you would think that, since you cannot see yourself.” 

(Years later, at their wedding, Patton will tearfully and proudly recall how Logan and Virgil had been fifteen minutes late to the gala because Logan’s compliment had caused Virgil to faint from sheer gay joy.) 

#starshinewrites #romantic analogical #sympathetic deceit #sympathetic remus #background romantic roceit #background romantic remile #background queerplatonic intruality #ts logan #ts virgil #ts remus #ts deceit #ts patton #ts roman

[ambersky0319]

from the kiss prompt list: kiss at a party with the reason being a bet and can the pairing be remile! thank you!

Hhhhhjgjghghh I love Remile- Hope you all also enjoy this!!

Masterpost

----------------------

Remy really should have known that this party wasn't the best idea for him. Not when it was being thrown by one of his best friends, Damien, who was a notorious shipper along with his boyfriend Roman.

And, they were both very well-known Remile shippers.

It had started off as a joke amongst their large friend group, that Emile and Remy acted as a married couple, and they'd gone along with it at first. It was easy for Remy, it was Emile after all! The only difference was that he'd just have to be a bit more flirtatious to Emile than he was to anyone else.

His only problem, was that after awhile, he gained true feelings for Emile. And he hated it. He hated the way Emile's smile could light up a room, hated the butterflies that flew around crazily in his stomach whenever Emile would talk to him. Remy hated how Emile looked so adorable when talking about a new show he'd discovered, or how amazed Remy felt whenever Emile came back to their shared apartment smiling brightly even after a long and stressful day. He hated the feelings he got.

He'd never felt these things before for almost anyone, and when they first started showing, he would bury them in the back of his mind, praying they'd never see the light of day. But repression was never good, and eventually, he just had to get used to the feelings...

It sucked that Remy was too much of a coward to actually try and ask Emile out.

And that's what he thinks led to this moment. His hands on Emile's tie, pulling the therapist closer, Roman's taunting bet ringing in his ears.

"Make way for the bravest man of the hour!"

"Oh Roman, I didn't expect to be flattered tonight!"

"Hush it Rem, you are far from brave."

"Hon, name one reason why I'm not as brave as you, and I'll prove you wrong."

Remy knew he'd been screwed by the smirk that graced Roman's lips, and the smug grin that he could see from Damien on the opposite end of the circle.

"Kiss the person you think is the hottest, then. An actual kiss too, not some cop-out like a kiss to the cheek." There was no way he'd be called less brave than Roman.

And Remy acted without thinking, spinning to turn to Emile, standing beside him with an amused smile. The smile suddenly turned to one of shock as suddenly they were much closer, lips barely brushing, a moment's hesitation.

And then Remy was kissing him, and Emile felt as if he might melt as his hands moved to cup Remy's face. He felt Remy sigh into the kiss slightly, and he swore he heard Roman make a sound of triumph nearby.

When they broke away, all eyes were on them, but it felt as if they were alone in their apartment, just the two of them. As Roman drew attention back to himself, Remy pulled Emile closer.

"I'm sorry, I should've gotten consent first-"

"Oh hush," Emile pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I'll let you slide this once, because oh my stars, that was a good kiss."

Remy flushed red. "Wanna ditch the party and head home?"

"Do we get to make out once we're there?"

"Em!" Remy laughed as he gasped in surprise, and Emile grinned down at him. "Fine, fine. We'll see."

Emile beamed at him before taking his hand, gently pulling Remy through the crowd with him.

Remy silently thanked Roman and his natural ability of getting Remy to do shit.

TS Taglist

Just ask if you wish to be added or removed!

@treasureofpriam @theloveliestjellyfish @tacohippy56900 @acompletemusicalnerd @romanknite @0beansprout0 @random-fandom-dragon @daflangstlairde @princerhubarb @that-one-ts-artist @heyitsmeimjustkindahere @aromanticandaromatic @theblankest123 @deliciouslycrookedme @batpinkstudentpersona @avocados26 @fandomloverangel @red-eyes88 @adarkgreensoul @analogicallythinking @thatreallyawkwardpotato @insanegoldie2 @sos-fandoms @asthmatic-trash-bastard @alexkittycat1 @len-art-trash @faithyfander @an-absolute-failure

#amberskywrites #remile #emile picani #remy sanders #sleep sanders #romantic remile #roman sanders #deceit mention #background roceit #ambersky ask #ask #prompt #anon #ambersky

[romansleftshoulderpad]

I’ll Be Home For Christmas (If Only In My Dreams)

Warnings: Food mention, Drunkenness at 7:52pm

Ships: Logince, background Moxiety, background Remile

Tag: @fandermom

The night was perfect. The Christmas tree had been perfectly decorated, the music set the perfect atmosphere, and the smell of Patton’s baking was just beckoning guests into the kitchen. Yes, everything was perfect. Except Logan wasn’t there.

{4:15pm}

“Is the great Roman Prince wearing sweats to his own Christmas party?” Logan asked with a chuckle.

“No, of course not,” Roman said, rolling his eyes at his computer screen. Whenever Logan had to travel for work, the two would make an effort to video chat whenever possible. “This is simply my ‘Slaving over the kitchen because my beautiful boyfriend is away’ outfit.”

“Well I admire your dedication,” Logan said. His smile dropped slightly. “I wish I could be there with you all tonight.”

“Oh, babe, I wish you were here with us too,” Roman said. “It’s just not quite Christmas without you.”

“I really hate this project,” Logan said. “All of us do.”

“Oh, Lo-“ Roman’s voice was cut off by the doorbell ringing. “You can complain about it all you want, later. Patton’s here now, I should let him in.”

“All right,” Logan said, wearing a professional smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Roman said with a soft grin, as he hit the ‘End Call’ button.

{5:30pm}

“Are we done yet?” Roman whined as he put another bowl into the growing pile in the sink.

“Almost,” Patton said. “Just one more batch of gingerbread.” Despite the near hour and a half of cooking and baking, Patton was still as cheery as ever. He looked over Roman’s exhausted state. “But I can handle it. You go freshen up.”

“Are you sure?” Roman asked. “It is my party, after all. I shouldn’t expect you to work on your own.”

“I’ll be fine,” Patton said. “I bake all the time, it's a piece of cake! Er- It's a piece of gingerbread.”

Roman smiled graciously at his friend and raced to his bedroom. He had a perfect red velvet suit ready for him in his closet. Right on cue, he heard the familiar ring of a Skype call from his computer and he rushed to answer it. “Hey, babe.”

“Hello, Roman,” Logan said with a bright smile. Roman loved Logan’s smile and would do anything he could to see it as often as possible. He loved how his eyes crinkled and how his cheeks rose. “It’s great to see you.”

“You too,” Roman said with a smile. He took off his sweatshirt, laying it on the bed as he went to his closet for the tux. He was very good at multitasking, especially when he had Logan’s voice to focus on. “Patton says hi," he added as he paced back and forth between the closet and the bed.

“You should totally go out there like that,” Logan said, commenting on Roman’s lack of shirt or pants.

Roman hid his blush behind his hands, rolling his eyes at the camera. “I’m dating a pervert.”

“Right, I’m the pervert,” Logan said sarcastically. “Just remember that next time you get wine drunk.”

Roman stuck his tongue out defensively as he buttoned up his white shirt. He tux was a soft velvet, and it fit him perfectly. He couldn’t help but admire his own image on the corner of his computer screen. Logan was absolutely star struck.

“You look... Wow,” Logan said, struggling to find the proper words. “You look gorgeous.”

Roman smiled, his face flushing slightly. “Baaabe.”

Logan glanced to something on the side of his desk, just off camera, and smiled as he brought his eyes back to Roman. “I’m the luckiest man in the universe.” Roman’s heart skipped a beat. “I wish I could be with you right now,” Logan said. His smile melted into something of melancholy concentration. His eyes skittered around the desk like mice running from a feral cat. “Roman, I gotta go,” he said. “There are a few phone calls I need to make.”

Logan ended the call before Roman could respond.

{6:32 pm}

Virgil was at the door with an uncharacteristically festive Santa hat and a bag full of boxes. “Okay, Romano, you’ve been hoarding my boyfriend long enough, where is he?”

“Lovely to see you too, Sandy Claws,” Roman said.

“Virgil!” Patton yelled, launching himself at the doorway. He pulled Virgil into a side hug and placed a kiss gingerly on his cheek.

“So, Logan really won’t be here tonight?” Virgil asked, offering a pitiful gaze to Roman.

“Unfortunately not,” Roman said with a sigh, “but that can’t stop us from having some holiday cheer without him. Right?” The question was rhetorical but there was just enough of a hitch in his voice that no one could tell whether to agree with or console him.

{7:52pm}

“Giiiiiiiiiiirl,” Remy said with a hiccup, “you have- really- outdone yourself this year.”

“Yes, and it seems you have really outdone yourself on the eggnog,” Roman said, taking the cup out of Remy’s hand.

“He is such an idiot,” Emile said through a smile, watching this ordeal from just outside the kitchen.

“You’re the one dating him,” Virgil reminded.

“Yes, well, he’s my idiot,” Emile said decidedly. He continued watching Remy make a fool of himself as Virgil snuck out to take a “very important phone call” which Emile decided not to question.

“Help. Me,” Roman shot out as Remy began climbing on him for his eggnog back. Emile smiled and took the cup from Roman, causing Remy to launch himself from one torso to the next like a monkey climbing through a jungle.

“You can have this back after we get some food in your belly, okay?” Emile said with a gentle smile and puppy dog eyes that he knew Remy couldn’t resist.

As the two walked off Roman was definitely not thinking about how Logan would have enjoyed laughing at the display. Or how much he missed Logan. Or how Logan would have loved to laugh at a drunk Remy being hailed around by Emile like a toddler. Or how Logan... Logan... Logan...

He blinked back tears and forced a smile onto his face. He had to be a good host. He had to be supportive.

{9: 04 pm}

Virgil slumped down next to Roman on the couch and stuffing his phone back into his pocket. “You doing okay?”

Roman nodded softly, curling his lips. “I just miss him. A lot.” He took a deep breath, letting a small chuckle escape as he did so. “It’s childish, isn’t it? I knew he’d be gone. I accepted it, but... everyone here is so happy. And I’m happy for them. For you and Patton. For Remy and Emile.” He closed his eyes as tight as possible because he was not going to cry in front of Virgil and he was most certainly not going to cry in front of all these people. His attention was stolen by the phone vibrating in Virgil’s pocket. Once. Twice. Urgently. Three. Four. Five. Virgil smiled at Roman, patting his hand.

“I think that’s your gift.”

{9:05pm}

“My gift?”

The door handle moved slowly and Roman stood up to investigate.

The door handle turned again.

The door creaked open slowly.

And Roman was definitely crying now.

“Merry Christmas,” Logan said as Roman threw himself onto the other. Roman’s tears were falling onto Logan’s shoulder and neither of them could pay any mind to the clicking of cameras around them.

“I love you so much,” Roman said as he choked on tears. He pulled away just enough to see Logan’s face- to make sure it wasn’t a dream- and to give Logan enough space to get inside the damn house. “What about work?” Roman asked. “I thought you had meetings, and- and-“

“Screw meetings,” Logan said. “If they fire me it’s their loss, but I couldn’t be away from you. Not now. Not on Christmas.” He glanced up to Virgil who gave him a supportive wink. He took Roman’s hands and got down on one knee. “Roman, you are the most important person in the world to me. You’re the light of my life. The center of my universe.” He could see his own tears welling up in Roman’s eyes. “You make me a better person. You make me want to be a better person. I couldn’t imagine a life without you in it.” He pulled a black box from his pocket and produced from it a gold ring with a crown of rubies at its top. “Roman Prince, will you marry me?”

Roman was sobbing, nodding as quickly as his head would allow as he melted into Logan. Everything felt so surreal and he needed to make sure he was awake. But if this is a dream, he decided, I never want to wake up. He took Logan’s face into his hands and kissed him hard and desperately. He traced his tongue against Logan’s bottom lip when Virgil coughed loudly to remind the couple of the large crowd watching. Roman pulled his lips away but kept his forehead pressed against Logan’s. He kept one hand on the crevice of Logan’s neck, feeling their hearts beating together.

It was a happily ever after if Roman had ever heard of one.

{8: 45 am}

Waking up with Logan still felt like a fantasy. Roman kept his hands around his boyfriend’s waist and felt the comfort of Logan’s arms around his back. “I love you so much,” Roman said.

Logan kissed Roman’s forehead. “I love you too,” he said, his voice weak and groggy just the way Roman loved to hear it. They sat a moment in complete silence, just taking in each other's presence. “There are presents beneath the tree.”

Roman groaned, pulling himself closer into Logan and breathing in every bit of him. “You’re the only present I need.”

#logince #romantic logince #Christmas fic #Ts Roman #Ts Logan #Roman sanders #Logan sanders #Moxiety #Background Moxiety #Remile

[rosesisupposes]

Objections, Your Honor

Two lawyers are across the aisle in open court once more. But today something is off, and no one is happy with the result.

read on ao3

characters: mainly Logan & Janus; background Virgil, Patton, Roman, Remus, Remy, and Emile

pairings: soulmate Loceit; QPP Analogical; QPP Moceit; romantic soulmate Royality; romantic soulmate Dukexiety; romantic soulmate Remile

content tags: non-traditional soulmate AU; courtroom drama; arophobia and acephobia; shameless self-pandering with legal arguments about the MCU; gushing about QPPs; couples therapy

reader tags: @royally-anxious @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby  @sparkly-rainbow-salt @astral-eclipse​ @thelowlysatsuma @adorably-angsty @max-is-tired @almostoveranalyzed @potestessemagishomosexualitatis  @mariniacipher @vintage-squid

word count: 10,386

⁂

The day it happened was no normal day for Logan. But not, of course, because of that.

He cared because it was a trial day. Months of motions back and forth, weeks and weeks of preparation, and today was oral arguments. He normally avoided open court, particularly against such an opponent, but nothing could be done.

His case files were impeccably arranged in his padfolio, his grocery list of arguments annotated in precise writing, blue ink dotting the page with emphases and connections, his notepad prepared at his left.

He glanced to his right out of the corner of his eye at his opposing counsel. He didn't want them to see him looking. But he sneered internally at the haphazard stacks of papers spreading across the table and the garish gold ink that looped and curved across sticky notes.

The judge finally came out, and Logan stood, crisply buttoning his tailored jacket as he did so. At the signal, he identified himself clearly. "Logan Finch for the appellant, Your Honor." 

And then, from his right: "Janus Alighieri for the appellee, Your Honor."

Logan rolled his eyes internally. Janus was, unfortunately, a very familiar foe at this point. But then, they were two of the most respected lawyers in their state, with opposing specialties and reputations for innovative tactics.

Logan was self-aware. He had another reputation, too: as a black-and-white thinker, unshakable, unalterable. He preferred to think of it as a particularly strong conviction. Versus "The Snake" against him, who coiled and twisted the facts of his cases to benefit his clients.

And of course, that was the issue today - Logan strove to show that his client had a straightforward, airtight argument that should clearly prevail, while Janus found miniscule details that he said should be enough to distinguish the case at hand and make it different from previous decisions, enough so to allow the case to be decided in his favor. He'd charmed the jury at trial, and now argued against Logan's appeal.

Logan prided himself on keeping a cool head, but listening to Janus' speech just got under his skin. His neat handwriting started to get messier and messier as he furiously scribbled notes of counterarguments and responses to his opponent's points. Then Janus turned slightly, just enough to see frustration's color burn in Logan's cheek, and he smirked.

Logan barely heard the gasp from the observers behind the bar, because he'd just snapped his pen in his grip.

He looked straight ahead, somewhere slightly to the left of the judge's head, but he saw very little, his furious thoughts too loud to allow any else to be processed. But the audience was murmuring and talking, far louder than any judge usually allowed - what was going on?

A clerk from behind him hurried up to the judge's dais and whispered urgently in her ear. Logan had yet to look around, but he was slowly coming back to himself, enough to be confused at this disruption in normal procedure. He refused to look over at Janus' probably-still-smirking face.

The judge cleared her throat. "Counselors, we will recess for the day. Please join me in my chambers now."

Logan frowned, but cleaned up the broken pen and gathered his file neatly back into his leather briefcase. He didn't look over, but he heard the flurry and crinkling of papers as Janus threw his notes into his own bag. Without glancing over, Logan followed the judge to the small office at the back of the courtroom.

"Mr. Finch, Mr. Alighieri. I do hope there's a good explanation for this breach in propriety, not to mention the code of conduct," she said sternly as they both stood before her heavy desk.

"Breach, Your Honor?" Janus asked. He sounded just as confused as Logan felt.

"As barred attorneys, you are expected to know the code as well as I," Judge Kasel said severely. "No soulmates may be involved in a trial together, except as co-counsel."

Logan's ears roared. "Your Honor, I apologize, I must have misheard. Soulmates? How is that relevant-"

"Mr. Finch, don't play dumb with me - the entire courtroom saw!"

"Saw what?" Janus asked. His voice was oddly distant and strained from its normal silky tones.

Judge Kasel stared at them in disbelief. "You mean to tell me you both managed to not see that? I'm quite certain the entire county saw the glow just now, through even the back of your suits!"

"Glow?" Logan asked. His chest was suddenly very, very empty, a vacuum of air or substance, and had he not been sitting he was sure he would have fainted.

"Yes, glow, both your marks on your shoulders. Given your mutual surprise, I will assume that this was indeed unknown, and will not declare this case a retroactive mistrial. But you will both need to send in replacements from your firms."

Janus spoke up, his voice tinny. "Replacements, Your Honor? I should think even in light of this- development, only one of us would need to withdraw-"

"Mr. Alighieri, while I appreciate your dedication, I will not delay this trial for the entirety of your bonding. I will give you both 3 days to propose counsel to take over, and scheduling will proceed with them."

Oh fuck. Bonding, Logan thought, unable to speak. That absolutely ridiculous expectation.

The clerk poked her head in. "If they need to speak privately, this side office is empty."

"Yes," Logan responded robotically. "Yes, I believe we need to speak."

They filed into the small room. The clerk closed the door behind her, whispering "Congratulations!" as she disappeared.

Janus sat in one of the chairs heavily. Logan remained standing, staring blankly at the bookshelves built into the wall.

"I can't believe this," Janus said finally. "We've known each other for years, how could we possibly be...?"

"Soulmarks frequently emit a barely visible glow from proximity alone, particularly when located on skin that is generally covered. Heightened emotion or situations with high levels of stress lead to brighter glows that were invisible or unnoticed previously," Logan recited dully.

"Oh yes, how could I forget, I'm talking to Encyclopedia Brown," Janus said, rolling his eyes. "Of course you've memorized that too." He unbuttoned his suit vest dexterously despite his trademark yellow gloves, slumping forward in his chair as he threw his vest over the arm carelessly.

"At least one of us actually has a factual basis for this event, rather than us both being in the dark," Logan snapped back.

"Yeah, your vast knowledge of facts really helped! Did your misguided quest to know everything somehow miss the detail of who's your fucking soulmate?" Janus said, nearly whisper-screaming.

Logan whirled to face him, a fiery reply already on his lips, when he suddenly saw a blue light showing through Janus' white shirt, bright enough to glint off the polished chair back and off the glass of the picture frames on the wall.

He closed his eyes, breathing out slowly. "Yes. That was a detail I had not learned. It felt trivial, unable to affect my work. But now that it has, we're better off resolving this."

Janus deflated too. "Yeah. We should. If we can just get through this part, at least we'll stop glowing like horny teenagers."

Logan focused on a tiny flag displayed on the desk as he spoke, not looking over. "I know of a very respectable landlord who rents bonding apartments in the city. Nothing overdone or kitschy, no 'honeymoon' suites, just furnished apartments for indefinite stays."

"Fine. Not like we can't afford it, whatever the price."

"I have some arrangements to make at home-" Logan began

"As do I, unless-"

"Unless what?"

Janus took a breath. "How would you feel about living with a snake?"

"I rather thought that was the entire idea," Logan replied coolly.

Janus shot him a withering glare. "I mean a python, you absolute cotton-headed ninnymuggin."

"Ah, my mistake," Logan said calmly. "That should be fine. A pet, I assume? Or your chosen co-counsel?"

"Let's get one thing straight, Finch," Janus said, rising to his full height, looking down at his infuriating opponent. "I don't like you. I don't expect or particularly want you to like me. We are going to be residing together up until, and only until, our illogical marks have decided in their weird cosmic energy to stop lighting up like neon signs whenever we experience strong emotion in each other's company. I fully expect to be pissed off the entire time, which will make figuring that out easier. But you do not get to speak to me that way, or I'll-"

Logan looked up to meet Janus' eyes. "Or you'll what, Alighieri?"

"I'll report you to the bar for breaking the code, and convince them you already knew," Janus replied smoothly. "And you of all people should know- I am very persuasive."

Logan's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. "Fine. And yes, you may bring your python. I'll be leaving my cat at home, however."

"Fine with me," Janus said curtly, deflating back into his normal slouch.

"I will send you the details of the landlord I mentioned. I can make the arrangements within the hour."

"Sure. Wait-"

"What?"

"How are you going to send me the details?"

Logan paused. Their only real contact over the years had been in person or by professional communications. He could hardly use a process server or subpoena to give Janus his key. "Ah. Right. Your contact information, then?" He pulled out his notepad.

Janus pulled out his gold pen and scribbled his phone number at an angle, entirely crossing the college-ruled lines. Logan cringed but took it.

"I will contact you shortly, then. And I will may sure to look for pet-friendly apartments."

Janus nodded. "Right."

"Right."

They both paused.

"Uh. See you soon, then," Janus said, and left the room abruptly.

⁂

Janus had to hand it to him - the apartment was all Logan had promised. Clean, sleek, and spacious. The landlord had even left a spare heat lamp, so Janus' sweet Monty would be comfortable.

Best of all, there were several separate rooms in the suite - two bed, two bath, and two offices.

The kitchen was also well-furnished, and came stocked with staple foods. Logan had arrived, however, with extra bags of groceries.

"I brought my own additions," he said. "The landlord is a friend, but he doesn't buy from the shops I prefer."

He proceeded to pull out several large jars of kimchi, what looked like at least a gallon of soy sauce, and various bright packages that Janus couldn't read.

Janus resolved to take pictures and look up what these things were later. Not while Logan was standing here, glaring up and over as if daring him to comment.

"I've picked the smaller bedroom," Janus informed the shorter man calmly. "Monty is set up in there, so if you're weird about snakes, just avoid it. Actually, feel free to avoid it anyway. I've got a brief to write."

Logan made a noncommittal sound in response.

Hours later, Janus emerged from his office to eat something. His brief was finished, sent off to his senior partner. He hadn’t yet told the firm about the day’s events- only that the appeal would need to be handled by another partner with his associates’ help, he needed to take emergency leave, and he would let them know soon how long he expected to be unavailable. H

e found evidence in the kitchen that Logan had prepared, eaten, and cleaned up dinner for himself.  That was fine by him. He made his own food, grabbed a bag of candy, and retreated back to his room.

The next morning, he woke up at his normal late time, stretching in the sun. The kitchen once again showed evidence of Logan's presence- particularly the currently-soaking coffee pot.

When the sun started to descend once more and Janus had yet to see his new roommate, he grumbled. Guess he'd have to be the fucking practical one.

He blew Monty a kiss for good luck and stumped down to the rooms Logan had claimed. He rapped on the door. "Finch. We need to talk."

He waited. There was silence, then a slow drag of a chair. The doors cracked open.

"Yes? What about?"

"No. We need to talk. Or, fuck, I don't know. Be in the same room occasionally."

Logan sighed deeply, and opened the door more. "Fine."

Janus went to the living room and sat on one side of the couch. Logan followed him and settled on the chair facing him.

"So." Janus began.

"So what," Logan replied flatly.

"Sew buttons," Janus replied automatically.

"What?"

"Just something one of my friends says," Janus muttered.

"Ah. So what was it you want to discuss?"

"I don't know!" Janus snapped. "But I'd really like to get back to my life, eventually, and that can only happen if we bond." His lip curled.

Logan sighed heavily. "And how, exactly, do you propose we do that?”

Janus fell silent. He had very few ideas. Pop culture made it very clear that bonding was an extremely romantic event. First kisses. Proposals. Or, in the less sappy movies, it seemed to consist purely of falling into bed together. None of which appealed in the least, particularly not with Logan.

Logan stared expectantly. "Nothing? You just pulled me out with no ideas?"

"If you're the fucking brilliant one, you come up with one then!" Janus spat out the suggestion with a glare, but then he saw it - a soft gold glow shining through Logan's tee, reflected in the tasteful mirror behind him.

They both deflated again, glows reducing down to hidden beneath their clothes. 

Logan adjusted his glasses. "I. Ah. Apologize. I realize you are attempting to resolve this issue."

"But you're right. I have no idea how to," Janus admitted.

Logan took off his glasses to rub his eyes. "Unfortunately, neither do I. Perhaps just coexisting will be enough."

"How long will that take, though?"

"I haven't the foggiest."

They lapsed into silence.

Finally, Janus suggested, "Maybe we can do our work in the same room. Set up in the dining room with all our stuff. Coexist but in proximity."

Logan glanced over. "That seems relatively painless. Let us make an attempt, then."

⁂

Logan had not had any particular expectations for how well they could share a work space.

And yet, it was still far worse than he'd expected.

Janus talked to himself. As he read, as he wrote, as he researched. Not loud, but a constant stream of soft muttering, disjointed words and full sentences. 

It was the most distracting thing Logan had ever been suffered to experience.

"Will you please be quiet," he said tightly, after an hour passed with no signs of letup. 

"What do you mean?" Janus asked.

"That infernal whispering, please, could you stop?"

Janus looked at him quizzically.

"You're talking under your breath," Logan said. He felt a headache coming on. 

"Oh, am I?" Janus asked. "Sorry. I'll be quiet."

It lasted all of half an hour, and then the muttering started again. "SCOTUS said yes but that was a city sidewalk, 2nd says no but that was Lincoln Center, hm, decoration, use, separation, intent?" 

"You're doing it again!"

Janus looked slightly guilty. "It's barely conscious, it's how I process things. Could you just wear headphones?"

"I need silence."

"Noise-canceling, then?"

"Fine. Do you own a pair?"

But the headphones didn't help. The sensation was too odd, of being closed-in, and he kept bumping then as he went to lean against his hand. Finally, Logan stood. "I'm going back to my office. This experiment has failed."

Janus' eyes narrowed. "Well, thanks for deigning to sit in my presence for a full three hours before giving up."

"I'm not giving up, this is just not tenable!" Logan insisted. 

"Well, you asked for ideas, and I came up with one. If it's not working for you, you come up with a better one. Come find me when you're done thinking, I know it could take you a while."

He stood and grabbed an apartment key, and stalked out to walk off his frustration.

As he walked, he called his best friend.

"Hey Pat, it's me."

"Jan! Hi buddy, how are you?!"

He sighed heavily. "I want to go home."

"But you only just got there?"

"Yeah, and it's going shi- I mean, badly. Really badly."

"I'm sure you'll work it out," Patton said confidently. "You're a brilliant and wonderful human, and anyone smart enough to argue against you will be able to see that!"

"Thanks, hun," Janus said. "The fact remains that I also don't like him."

Patton hummed tunelessly. "It doesn't have to be instant, Jan. These things usually take time."

"Unlike you and Ro."

"Well, yes, but that's because we were meant to be!" Patton soft, his voice taking on that soft, besotted tone it always did when he talked about his soulmate.

"Isn't the whole point that all soulmates are meant to be?"

"Well, yes..." Patton faltered. "But it doesn't have to look like us, we're just hopeless romantics!"

"I know. How's wedding planning going?"

"We started watching movies for inspiration and got distracted with a Disney marathon," Patton said fondly. 

"But you had fun?"

"Absolutely!"

"Good," Janus said, meaning it. There were very few people, in his opinion, who deserved happiness the way Patton did.

He was quiet for a moment, then asked, "Pat- what if it was a mistake? What if we just have defective marks or something?"

"I'm sure that's not true!" Patton insisted.

"It just seems like - I mean, we're not even friends. Most people get to start from strangers at worst, but we've been antagonizing each other for years, what if, I don't know. Neither of us had a soulmate and so they glitched out?"

"You just need to find some common ground," Patton said confidently. "You can't both be so passionate about being lawyers without something more in common. I believe in you, buddy!"

Janus sighed. "Thanks, Pat. Say hi to Roman for me, tell him Monty misses him."

"Will do, nephew! Call any time you need, okay?"

"Love you, Pat."

"Love you tooooo!"

Janus realized he'd circled the block and was back at the apartment entrance. He steeled himself, then went back up. He repressed the petty urge to bang open the door to disturb Logan's quiet as much as possible.

Logan wasn't in the common spaces, but emerged not long after Janus returned.

"I feel I must apologize," he began. "It wasn't my intent to denigrate how you work. It is just clear that sharing a workspace is not going to be preferable for either of us."

"Yes, I'm aware I had a bad idea," Janus said, overly patient. "Kind of an odd apology, but I accept. Can I have lunch now?"

"Yes, of course. May I join you?" Logan asked.

Janus raised a distrusting brow.

"The idea of spending time in the same space was a good one. I thought we might try a context in which we don't need to focus."

"Fine."

They prepared food around each other, both managing to bite their tongues when they needed the same counter space or cooking implements, which Janus was proud of himself for. They ate in silence.

Janus heard Logan sigh in exasperation and braced himself for yet another snippy comment. Instead, he heard an unexpected question.

"Do you enjoy superheroes?"

"To eat? No, they upset my stomach," Janus replied drily.

"I mean to watch. Superhero movies and shows."

"Occasionally, yeah, why?"

"Perhaps we could watch one this evening. At the same time."

"Sure."

And they parted to continue working on their own.

⁂

Logan had been correct that, as far as superhero movies went, the MCU was a safe choice.

In retrospect, though, perhaps Civil War had been... less so.

It had started when Steve first objected to the Sokovia Accord plan- and Logan had scoffed.

Quick as a cat’s pounce, or an adder’s strike, Janus’ head whipped around. 

“You disagree?”

Logan glanced over briefly, screen light blinking off his glasses. “Well, of course. Didn’t New York and Sokovia show that some control is needed? Lawlessness leads to more civilian casualties.”

“And yet, if supers are controlled so much that risk of liability keeps them from acting at all, casualties would be just a tad higher, don’t you think?”

Tony and Steve’s voices raised on the screen as Logan replied, “What would the difference be of the villains and heroes if they all act with complete impunity?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did we lose mens rea when we switched over into Marvel-land?” Janus asked, voice clipped. “Isn’t the entire basis of our modern penal system based on culpability, not just the act or harm done?”

Logan looked down his nose. “Of course culpability matters. But you well know that one of the factors for absolute liability is when an act is inherently and extremely dangerous. Say, for instance, displays of superhuman force in a densely populated area.”

“So you don’t think there can be any space for personal judgment on the heroes’ behalf?” Janus asked incredulously.

“Look what that space did already! Does the name Ultron ring a bell?”

“So of course, the one who made a terrible call is the one who now wants to be restricted? That sounds like asking for the global government to save him from himself instead of taking responsibility.”

“Better that those with actual accountability be the ones bearing the responsibility!”

“Oh, yeah, and we can definitely trust this government’s judgment! A Hydra infestation was all part of the plan!” Janus’ voice was raising, far louder than the movie that still flickered on, ignored.

“There still needs to be rule of law! Steve wants to abandon it all for one person, and a war criminal at that-!”

“And that’s incomprehensible?”

“Of course!”

Janus fixed his supposed soulmate with a glare. “And you mean to tell me that there’s no one, no one, that you would be willing to burn the world down for?”

Logan opened his mouth to respond, but Janus continued quickly before he could. “No one who won’t fight for themselves, because they think they’re not worth it, but you know they’re so worth it that you would be willing to kill for them?”

Logan, about to spit out an impulsive reply, paused, momentarily speechless. As clearly as if they were sitting on the edge of the couch next to him, his best friend from childhood filled his mind. Virgil, who never believed their worth no matter how many times Logan and their soulmate Remus told them so.

Janus saw the pause and continued softly. “I’m not saying rule of law isn’t important. But the trouble with laws is they’re only as tailored as legislators make them. And they’re human, and therefore fallible. We need exceptions, for those situations that they didn’t imagine.”

Logan struggled for moment, then replied, just as quietly, “You’re right.”

Janus’ mouth fell open in shock, but just as he did, the tv’s faint blue glow throughout the room was washed over with two beacons in blue and gold, blazing from their backs.

At the sight, Logan’s face went from contemplative and open to stony. He stood abruptly and stalked off into his room. The door closed behind him with a decisive click, and Janus was left staring at the wood in confusion and anger.

⁂

“I just don’t get it!” Janus whisper-screamed into the phone. He was power walking through a nearby park, moving so fast he’d passed a skateboarder and a particularly leisurely biker. “Does he want to keep on glowing forever? What is his problem?!”

Patton made sympathetic noises in response, quite familiar with the sound of Janus in full rant mode. Roman was lying with his head in his lap, listening on speaker, so Patton was settled in to be as receptive to his friend’s complaints as he needed.

“I mean, we finally agreed on something, besides the fact that we want to get this fucking resolved, and then he just, what, shuts me out? Literally and figuratively? I literally can’t even catch him leaving to the kitchen for food now!”

Patton winced. “Not since? But it’s been two days!”

“Two and a half, yeah,” Janus replied. His voice suddenly sounded weary. “I can’t keep doing this. The trial’s going on without us anyway, I might as well just give it up and make sure I never have to argue against him again.”

At that, Roman sat bolt upright. “Janus, my dear esquire! You cannot abandon your quest! This is your soulmate!”

“Yeah, well. Maybe some soulmarks are broken. Or we just met at the wrong time. Maybe if we’d met in law school we would have been a team, but now it’s too late.”

Janus sounded contemptuous, but Patton could hear a distinct note of regret.

“Maybe...” he started, but trailed off, thinking.

“Maybe what, Pat?”

“Well, it’s just that I’ve heard of soulmates who, you know, take an abnormally long time to bond, or manage to un-bond after years together, but they can fix it. Do you remember my old roommate?”

Janus wrinkled his nose. “Patton, are you suggesting couple’s therapy? I’m fairly certain that only applies to couples.”

“Well, you’ve kinda been forced to be one, right? At least to figure out bonding? They could probably help, or at least let you know if it’s not worth the effort.”

Janus sighed. “No, you’re right, it’s a good idea. I just have no idea how I’ll get Finch to go along with it.”

“Might I make a suggestion?” Roman asked politely. 

“Sure.”

“Perhaps try calling him ‘Logan.’”

Janus rolled his eyes. “Worth a shot, I guess. Love you both.”

“Love you Jan!”

“Best of luck with the love of your soul!”

 Back in the apartment, Logan was pacing in precise squares in his bedroom. He half-expected the rug to be worn down by the repeated impact at this point. 

“L, I don’t know what to tell you, buddy,” the gravely voice on the phone said. “You really have only two options here: find a way to avoid him forever, which will probably involve having to turn down cases you’d like-“

“I bet he’d stay on them just to force me off,” Logan interrupted, growling. 

“That is a possibility,” Virgil replied, their voice overly patient. “The other option, though, is to work this out,” they continued. 

Logan scoffed.

“Lo, that doesn’t mean you’ve gotta turn into a Hallmark movie! But it’s clear this isn’t just going away, and it’s not like you’ve got nothing in common.”

Logan groaned. “Virge, I don’t-“

“I know, man. I know. But you can’t just hide in your room until he just decides to move out, which means you’re gonna have to talk to him at some point.”

Logan didn’t reply, just continued pacing. 

“You know I’m right, Lo,” Virgil said patiently. “You don’t have to say it, just promise me you’re not going to keep being a hermit, okay?”

Logan sighed. “I promise.”

“There we go. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

About to hang up, Logan heard a voice in the background and Virgil asked him to wait.  Then, “Reme wants to say hi.”

Logan let out an exasperated sigh, but he was smiling. “Fine, I’ll allow it-“

“Loooogggyyyyy! How’s the soulmate boning going? Have you figured out that you’re a power bottom yet?”

“Hello, Remus. I take it you’re well.”

“Let’s just say I’m glad you’re my brother-in-law because I may have some need for a lawyer soon.”

Logan couldn’t conceal the grin from his voice as he replied, “As I know you know, I am not a defense attorney, nor would I ever be so unwise as to take you as a client.”

“Aww, you’re such a smart cookie! And by cookie I mean a snack, because mmmm-MMMm you’re a snacc!”

“Always glad to know I’m appreciated,” Logan replied drily. “Goodbye, Virgil. Goodbye, Remus.”

“See ya, L.”

“Byeeeeeeeeeee!”

⁂

When Janus returned, he was a bit taken aback to see Logan sitting in an armchair, reading. At the sound of the door, he looked up. 

“Ah, Alighieri. I- I wanted to apologize for my behavior.”

Janus paused. It was a good sign, but still so unexpected as to be unsettling.

Logan cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t have left you in a lurch. You did not cause this situation anymore than did I, and you have not been unkind. I have a suggestion for how we might move forward.”

Janus winced internally, thinking of another disastrous attempt at a movie or workspace. “I actually had a thought on that as well, but um. What was yours?”

Logan cleared his throat again. “Well, since we have been... brought into this situation together, but as a pair are struggling to adjust, it seems logical to consult with an expert, much as we would in our work. Therefore, we should consult a professional on personal relationships.”

“Oh, thank god,” muttered Janus. “Yeah, I was gonna suggest a couples counselor too. I think that would make sense. And I actually have a personal reference to a very experienced therapist.”

That settled, they found the earliest possible appointment, only two days later. 

“I do need to warn you-“ Janus said as they walked up to the office. It was their first time out of the apartment together, and it had been a very quiet walk over. “The methods of this therapist are- unorthodox. But they are highly acclaimed in their field.”

“Oh, are they an enby?” Logan asked. 

“Yes and no,” Janus replied. “You see, there’s two of them.”

“Two?”

“Yeah, they’re a couple therapist that is also a couple.”

“I don’t- well- I mean, that’s odd, right?”

Janus grinned. “Yeah, odd is a common word to describe them. But they’re highly praised and like I said, they were recommended personally.”

“Right,” Logan said, squaring his shoulders. “An open mind is helpful for effective therapy, after all.”

“That’s the spirit! I think,” Janus replied, holding the door open.

A gothy receptionist showed them to a private room with a comfortably large couch. Logan looked around in trepidation and slight alarm at the decorations. There were countless Funko-Pops, posters, stuffed animals, and an alarmingly high number of travel mugs from what looked like every single cartoon that had ever existed.

Janus was slightly more prepared then Logan, but he still jumped out of his skin by the sudden singing coming around the door. A deep voice was booming, “Duhhh duh-duh-duh-duh-da-DUH!” in a building crescendo that went on and on, until both lawyers were staring in a mixture of confusion and irritation.

Then a tall, lanky man slid in the door and lowered his glasses to wink at them both. “Hey babes. Welcome to therapy.” 

The singer followed him through the door, their bright pink hair a sharp contrast to their warm brown skin. “And thank you as always for the intro, honey!”

They smiled, big and toothy. “Welcome indeed! I’m Dr. Emile Picani, pronouns they/them, and this tall drink of coffee is my partner, Dr. Remy Picani, pronouns he/him! And you are Janus and Logan, correct?”

Logan looked a bit stunned still, so Janus took the lead. “Yes, I’m Janus Alighieri and this is Logan Finch, pronouns he/him for both. And I was referred by Patton Corwan-Augustus.” 

Emile smiled even bigger, if that were possible. “Oh Patty! Best roommate ever, I still miss his brownies. It’s lovely to meet you both!”

“Best roommate? What am I, chopped liver?” Remy asked, hand pressed to his chest. 

“Best friend, best coffee-maker, best of men and best of husbands,” Emile replied, and said husband immediately blushed.

Logan coughed politely. “Have you been married long?”

Remy smiled, still pink around the edges. “We’ve actually been married almost 10 years. The minute we graduated university, actually, when we knew our parents had not a shred left of financial control. We went through our PhDs together, which is why, of course, we’re qualified to help out other couples, because let me tell you, would not recommend.”

“Which brings us, of course, to you two!” Emile said brightly. “What is your goal in coming to therapy?”

Janus and Logan both began speaking at once.

“Well, it started in court-“

“It was completely unexpected, we’ve known each other for years-“

“-dreadfully embarrassing, not to mention the professional ramifications-“

“-it just feels like something’s missing-“

“-really want to just sort this out-“

“-just want to figure out the disconnect-“

“-and we can forget about the whole thing.”

“-want to make this work.”

They looked at each other, shocked, as their words both sank in.

Emile was tapping their Powerpuff Girls pencil topper steadily against their lips, eyes wide behind their pink-framed glasses. 

Remy, at their side, leaned back and took a long, loud slurp of his iced coffee, rattling the ice around until the room’s attention was on him. Then he looked up and said, “Hoooo-wheee.”

“So I’m getting a lot of differing goals here,” Emile said delicately. “Let’s start with you, Janus. Can you expand, please?”

Janus tried to speak, but felt like his voice had dropped into the cold pit that was suddenly his stomach. “I, um,” he started with a shaky breath. He barely noticed when Remy pushed a cup of ice water into his hand, but a sip steadied him somewhat.

“You can look just at me, if that helps,” Emile said softly. “Or at my buddy Kaa here.” They gestured to the stuffed snake on the shelf behind them. 

He looked like a fuzzy little Monty. That would do. 

“Thank you, Doctor,” Janus said, acknowledging the water from Remy. “So. We’ve been rival lawyers for years, because we’re both the best at what we do. It was shocking, to suddenly be glowing in open court, but I thought we just needed to find common ground that’s not arguing. That’s why I’m here, at least.”

“And Logan?” Emile asked, still in that kind voice. Logan wouldn’t meet their eyes, though, or anyone’s.

“I thought- we both seemed so upset by the news. Or at least, I was, and perceived you to be as well.” He didn’t look up as he addressed Janus, but his eyes shifted over and took root on Janus’ polished loafers. “My plan was to spend whatever time was needed to stop glowing, then get back to our respective lives.”

“Do either of you have a question you’d like to ask of one another?” Remy asked. “It can be as large or small scale as you’d like, serious or frivolous.”

Both men looked up at the lanky therapist, who’d actually removed his dark glasses, revealing slightly foggy-looking irises. “Logan, it looks like you have one.”

“Oh- yes. So, Alighieri- I mean, Janus. To be clear- you were not upset by the news?”

Janus took a breath. “I mean, I was shocked, and upset to be removed in the middle of a case. But not about the soulmate thing, specifically. And I have a question too?” He looked to the therapists, who both nodded.

Janus looked over, and saw the Logan was watching him in his periphery. “When you say you were upset about the news- was it about the soulmate thing, or about me as your soulmate?”

Logan actually sat up, looking shocked. “Oh, goodness gracious. Absolutely about the concept of ‘soulmate’ in general, not personal in any way. Did I-?”

“Well, yeah, a bit,” Janus said.

“I am- I am so sorry. I would have absolutely have been equally upset, no matter who I found to be an accidental soulmate.”

Janus felt his stomach unclench just a bit.

“Logan, what about soulmates in general upsets you?” Emile asked.

Logan’s mouth pressed into a thin line, and he stayed silent for a moment, then two. Finally, he said curtly, “I never asked for one. And no one asked if I wanted one, either.”

“No one asked if I wanted to be trans, and yet here I am,” Emile said with a cheeky grin. “We don’t always get a say over the circumstances of our birth.”

“But Emmy, you’ve found self-acceptance and happiness deriving from coming out,” Remy put in. “Logan, were you content with life before this reveal?”

Logan nodded. 

“So there was no sense of dysphoria prior, or absence of a euphoria that was gained since.” 

Again, Logan nodded.

“Couldn’t-“ Janus began. His throat felt a bit stuck. “Couldn’t there be something to be gained, though?”

Logan picked up a small figurine of Dexter from the table next to the couch, and fiddled with it in his lap as he spoke. “It’s not impossible, there could certainly be gains from a better acquaintance with you. But that’s not what a soulmate is supposed to be, is it? They’re supposed to complete you,” he said, his voice dripping in disdain. “Because you were incomplete before. Because you weren’t enough, alone, you were just waiting for the One. And of course, you can’t be trusted to find them yourself, some cosmic force determines it for you.”

Remy rested his hand in his hand, elbow propped on his knee. “Spill it, sis.”

Logan stared in confusion. 

Remy smiled. “It means, approximately, ‘continue, you’ve got something good to say’. I’m getting a lot here- but a lot of the frustration seems to be with the idea that forces you can’t control are messing with your life, is that fair?”

Logan shifted. “Well, yeah, but that makes me sound like a control freak.”

“Not at all,” Janus interrupted. “Of course you don’t want something incomprehensible to make decisions for you. That’s not controlling, that’s perfectly understandable and human!”

Logan managed a small smile in response.

Emile beamed. “I couldn’t have said it better myself!”

“But I am def gonna poke some holes in your thought bubble,” Remy said cheerfully. “Starting with this: what do you mean when you say a soulmate is intended to be The One?”

Logan stared in disbelief. “Come on. Really? Look at, I don’t know, any piece of media ever. Or at you two. Or at my- friend and his husband. Or any other pair of soulmates!”

Janus added, “I mean, that’s what’s intended, right? With the whole ‘marked from birth’ thing?”

Emile looked at them both very seriously. “Did you know that Remy isn’t The One for me?”

“But he’s your soulmate?” Janus gasped out.

Emile nodded gravely. “He is my soulmate. But he is not my only soulmate.”

“I was designated female at birth to very traditional parents. They wanted me to marry my soulmate at 18, like they had, and they assumed he’d be a man. But my other soulmate was a girl, and I loved her with all my heart. And when I realized I wasn’t a girl, I thought my parents might accept us more. I was wrong.” They took a breath. “We were separated. I don’t know what happened to her. But it was enough to know that my parents didn’t care about my happiness, soulmate or no.”

“I’m so sorry,” Logan said quietly, and Janus nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat. 

“I was lucky, though,” they continued. “I found Remy only two years later. And he accepted me as I am, both my gender and my other soulmate. And the cartoons, of course.”

“I never got to meet her,” Remy said. “So we will never know if she was my soulmate, too. I choose to believe she wasn’t. I think she could have been Emile’s one and only, had they been able to stay together. And that doesn’t make me feel any less lucky to be Emile’s husband, nor any less loved by them.”

“And not to shock you even more, but not all soulmates are romantic,” Emile said. “I know that’s the media portrayal- but well, the media is also pretty straight. And cis. And white. And neurotypical. And-”

“What they’re getting at,” Remy interrupted, “is that common portrayals miss a lot of the variety and complexity of humanity as a whole, let alone the complexity of relationships.”

Logan was sitting very still, and not speaking. Janus was trying to wrap his mind around this, and spoke with uncharacteristic uncertainty as he asked, “So- for instance, um, you could have soulmates who are, uh, queerplatonic partners?”

Logan’s head snapped up, staring at Janus with wide eyes.

Remy grinned. “Yes, of course! I was worried I was going to have to do a vocab lesson, but you both seem to know what that is.”

“But-“ Janus began, brows furrowing.

“But that means-“ Logan muttered to himself.

“Why isn’t he my soulmate?” Janus asked, at the same time Logan asked, “Why aren’t they my soulmate?”

Lit by the twin glows reflecting against the wall, the therapist couple exchanged a pregnant look. Emile reached out and took a hand of each patient. “I know this is a lot to process, but I really want you to keep something in mind: a soulmate is not the only way we can love someone. It’s not the ‘best’ way or only valid way to love someone. The same way the platonic love you clearly both hold for a significant person in your life is no less valid than romantic.”

Remy sat up straight. “I want you both to think about this when you go home. Your love for your QPPs is wonderful, and worth cherishing. And I know you are both lawyers, so here’s a question for you to brief. We cannot know the actual intent of whatever force gave you marks that respond to each other. So I want to you look for what evidence there might be, in each other, for your connection.”

Emile added on, “You have a link, and it’s worth exploring. It doesn’t have to ever be more important, more meaningful than another connection you have. But understanding it is critical to bonding successfully.”

“I think we should wrap there, for this week,” Remy added. “But you can talk about this, of course, without us.”

Janus and Logan nodded, and left. The walk home was as quiet as the walk there had been, but this time the air thrummed with thoughts and ponderings.

⁂

Janus and Logan made dinner with relatively little talk, only quiet asks to pass a spice or a cooking implement. It wasn't an uncomfortable quiet, but one where their minds were far too loud to vocalize just yet.

Janus quietly suggested putting on TV, and picked the game show network as a neutral, unobjectionable option.

They ate as they watched, still burdened with their own thoughts, but slowly started to murmur the correct questions under their breath before the Jeopardy contestants were able to.

Final Jeopardy, as luck would have it, was on Latin - but specifically, Latin as used in law. Both attorneys chuckled at the contestants' answers, some of which weren't even close to correct.

Janus directed a cautious smile in Logan's direction, and found it reciprocated. But as he saw that familiar glow start to reflect off the walls, he tensed, waiting for Logan flee once more.

For the first time, though, he didn't. His eyes widened as he took in the lights, but he didn't move to stand or leave.

"About today-" Logan began. "I don't know that I am quite ready to discuss it all, but I did want to once again apologize for my handling of this situation, and its emotional impact on you. It was entirely unintentional, but I regret causing you distress."

"Thank you," Janus replied softly. "And thank you for being willing and open to go to counseling. I learned a lot today, all of it important."

"I'd like to talk about it tomorrow, if you'd be willing," Logan added. "There are some additional details I need to share, but I don't think I'm able at the present moment."

"Sounds good," Janus nodded. "I'm going to turn in for the night. Sleep well."

"You as well."

But despite feeling tired, Janus found he wasn't at all sleepy. He ended up sitting up until the wee hours of the morning, stroking Monty gently and thinking a great deal.

⁂

The next morning, Janus woke up much earlier than his usual habit, but he needn't have worried - Logan was clearly waiting for him in the kitchen, sipping coffee and idly solving the entire Sunday crossword.

He looked up at the sound of Janus' door, and indicated the mostly-full coffee pot with a nod. Janus gratefully filled a mug for himself and lightened it thoroughly with cream, drinking deep as he stood angled so that he could offer critique and suggestions on the crossword.

"No, shush," Janus said, though Logan had not spoken. "It's gotta be White. Y'know, Betty? C'mon. Most-loved Gold? It's obvious."

Logan just smiled and penned in “White” in the horizontal boxes, immediately able to fill in the Down clues crossing them.

Once the puzzle was complete, Janus refilled his coffee and sat properly at the kitchen island. 

"So, if you're amenable-" Logan began. "I believe I'm prepared to discuss yesterday in more detail."

Janus nodded. "Did you want to start off?"

"Yes, I think I must. Because there was one detail that I wasn't quite prepared to share that I think will be quite helpful in securing a full understanding."

At Janus' encouraging nod, Logan closed his eyes to take a breath, and said, "The truth is, I'm an aromantic asexual. That's why the concept of a soulmate was so upsetting to me, particularly because up until this week I had assumed I didn't have one."

Janus looked down. "I'm ace, too, but not aro, and... yeah, same boat, mostly. I thought I wouldn't have one, but when we started to glow, I assumed it must be romantic. But that must not be the case."

Logan tented his fingers together. "So you're not aro, but you do have a QPP?"

"Yeah - I definitely can experience romantic attraction, but what I feel for Patton has always been stronger, and different."

"I'd like to hear about him, if you'd be willing," Logan said softly, and was rewarded by a smile that seemed about to glow as brightly as his soulmark on Janus' face.

"Oh, he's just the best," Janus gushed. "I met him at the perfect time in my life. I'd just been dumped by an asshole because he couldn't deal with the fact that the asexual part wasn't just me being a tease. I was feeling pretty low, post-college, all alone in a new apartment, and then this beam of sunshine turns out to be the kind of neighbor who brings cookies as a greeting. Even though I wasn't exactly receptive, he just kept coming back, even just to check up on me, and soon I found myself looking forward to it, and then inviting myself over in return."

Logan paused. "Wait, your ex broke up with you because you were ace? Was it a surprise?"

Janus rolled his eyes. "No, not in the least. I'd told him, and reminded him, and he'd just been assuming I would 'get over it,' the fucker. Right after the breakup, there were times I wondered if he was right, if I should have just powered through my repulsion to make him happy. But Patton was amazing about that, too. When he heard what happened - oh my goodness, he was so angry on my behalf, he looked like he was going to Hulk out. And then he made it his mission to make sure I was being validated in my identity and knew that I was eminently lovable both in spite of and because of my aceness."

Logan smiled. "That's wonderful. I can see why you love him so much."

Janus sighed happily. "And it hasn't changed even though he's met his allo soulmate. Roman knows that our bond isn't and will never be a threat to theirs, and he makes Pat so happy. They're planning their wedding right now, but they've already signed all the papers and it'll just be a party where they gush about each other in public."

Janus sat for a moment, basking in the glow of his affection for Patton, before he turned to Logan and asked, “You have a QPP too, right?”

“I do,” Logan said, a smile stretching across his face unconsciously. “Their name is Virgil. And they’re also married to their soulmate.”

“Tell me about them,” Janus said, when Logan fell silent. 

“They’re- they are just amazing. They’re my best friend, have been since about fourth grade. ” Logan’s eyes went a bit misty as he considered his childhood. “We bonded over being surrounded by idiots, after a debate simulation where we were on opposing sides.”

Janus smirked. “You mean I’m not your first? I’m heartbroken.”

Logan shot him a glare, but it had none of true anger’s heat.

“I guess we always had the feeling that we weren’t quite like everyone else. Besides the introverted tendencies, it wasn’t really a shock when they came out as nonbinary. They’d been online, discovering new terms, and in learning about their identity I ran into the aro and ace labels. I felt seen, do you know what I mean? And then Virgil just compounded that feeling by immediately understanding and accepting me. They call me a brother, just to explain that our relationship isn’t “just” friends.”

“What was it like when they met their soulmate?” Janus asked. 

“It wasn’t nearly as smooth as your experience seems to have been,” Logan admitted.

“Their husband is... unique. Prone to rather odd fixations and interests. But he’s also demisexual, and like us, had thought he wouldn’t have a soulmate. And part of his defense mechanism against that kind of rejection was, well. Embracing his off-putting side. Being disgusting for the sake of it. Grossing out others before they could judge him for his orientation.”

Janus grimaced. “I know that feeling, all too well. Donning a mask, so that a rejection won’t be of you, just your persona.”

“Exactly,” Logan said, nodding. “I don’t think it helped that both Virgil’s and Remus’ soulmarks were in their hair. They’d both dyed their hair many times over the years, but it wasn’t enough to hide it. And once they had shown up- there was no more pretending.”

“Was it hard for them?” Janus asked. 

“Accepting it was. But then they started actually talking and then it just- clicked. All those macabre interests that overlapped, the mutual obsession with MCR. They fell in love the minute they both let their walls down. And like you said- it never really changed what I had with Virge. They didn’t meet Reme until college, and didn’t get married until last year. So Virge told Reme that I was here to stay, and part of their life, and he accepted it without a blink. He’s a forensic archeologist now, to Virge’s forensic detective, so they’ve actually both been helpful in cases, too.”

“That’s... kind of adorable, in a weird way,” Janus said, scrunching his nose. 

Logan chuckled. “‘Adorable in a weird way’ is the best possible description for their relationship.”

Janus tapped his finger on the island. “That sounds so familiar, though, and I can’t quite place it.” He closed his eyes, murmuring under his breath. “Wait! Is Virgil’s husband an Augustus?”

“That was his surname, yes, though now it’s Angelico-“

“Oh my god!” Janus burst out. “That’s Patton’s brother-in-law!”

“What?”

“Roman Augustus! That’s his soulmate’s name! And he had a twin, but they had a falling out and haven’t been in contact for a couple of years. But he said he’d been in forensics!”

Logan blinked. “Well, it is certainly a small world. Not that Remus has ever talked about his brother, but I knew he had one.”

“That’s kind of crazy. What are the chances?” Janus asked, laughing. 

Logan looked pointedly over. “Do you really want to know? I could calculate them-“

“Thanks, calculator watch, but I’m good.”

They both chuckled quietly, sitting side by side at the kitchen island. 

“Hey, uh- thank you for trusting me, with the other day, and with this,” Janus said softly. 

“I owe you thanks as well,” Logan replied. “I don’t frequently have the opportunity to talk about Virgil in detail and it’s- it’s nice.”

Janus just beamed, returning the sentiment without words. 

In that moment, the sunlight of the room was tinged with colored light, gold and blue overlapping into rich emerald.

Logan hesitated, seeing it, but after a moment lifted his arm. Janus smiled and leaned in, accepting the offered side-hug.

“Hey Finch- I mean, Logan?”

“Yes Janus?”

“I may not be sure yet why we’re soulmates, but I’m definitely not disappointed that we are.”

A beat.

Then a soft murmur replied, “Neither am I.”

⁂

Later that afternoon, Logan returned from stocking up on more food to find Janus lying upside-down on the couch, lanky legs dangling over the back. His face was red enough to show that he’d been sitting there for a while as the blood rushed downward.

“I cannot imagine that is at all comfortable,” Logan commented drily, neatly putting away the packets of noodles and snacks he’d purchased.

“It helps me think,” Janus replied. “Especially when I’m trying to see something from another perspective.”

Logan’s eyes narrowed. “This better not have been a set-up just to make that terrible pun.”

Janus looked over, grinning. “It actually started that way, not gonna lie. I’d been venting to Patton about an oral argument simulation in law school and he suggested this as a joke. And then it actually helped.”

Logan huffed in what sounded suspiciously like a muffled laugh and came to sit more normally in a chair next to the couch. “So what is it that you’re trying to change your perception of so literally?”

“Our case, actually - Gomex.” At Logan’s quizzical look, he replied, “The partners aren’t letting me onto new cases until they know I’ll be back in person. I’m getting bored. So I thought, you know. Why not figure out what I was missing in this one.” He shrugged, an odd contortion for an inverted torso.

“You were missing something? But you won at trial.”

“And I was caught off-guard by your appeal - or at least, the part where it survived my motion to dismiss.”

Logan allowed himself a satisfied smirk. “Surprised you with my impeccable research, did I? All my rock-solid precedent pointing out the clear error in the original jury instruction?”

Janus’ legs kicked idly in the air. “Your research is always impeccable. Of course you were able to find precedent on-point for the general issue, you’re good at this. But the facts of the case are just so different that how could any of those past rulings be definitive?”

Logan leaned back in his chair, tapping the arm pensively. “Wait, so you really believe that? It wasn’t just a tactic to make Gomex feel like they’re getting their money’s worth for your legal fees?”

Janus finally righted himself, sitting upright with a leg balancing on the coffee table. “Well, yeah , of course I do. I don’t take the time and effort to go to trial for bullshit unless the client can’t be talked down from combat mode. Racking up charges for unnecessary trial prep is only fun when they don’t take my advice.” He looked quizzically at Logan. “So you really didn’t see the difference between Gomex and, what, Sourgoutsis?”

“No material difference, no. It’s in the right circuit, it’s recent and binding, and it established a test that clearly applies here.”

“But the test requires knowledge!”

“Knowing includes reckless disregard for the truth, and Gomex had that.”

“Oh, you can hardly say it’s reckless when all the claims were paid without issue for a decade!”

Logan leaned forward, counting off points on his fingers. “The guidance is updated each year. The commentary points out the changes. Gomex has to certify as a company that they accept all current guidance and direction. If they didn’t actually know they were submitting false claims, they should have known, and had a duty to know.”

Janus’ eyes were flashing, but more with excitement than anger. “But even the commentary didn’t clarify that these specific claims would no longer be accepted in the future. Doesn’t the agency have a duty to be clear about changes in accepted policy when the code is so vast and companies used past claims as standards for future approval?”

“But the companies are the experts in their own industries. They should know that these kind of differences are significant and material.”

Janus sat up fully straight, pointing enthusiastically. “That’s it!”

“What’s it?”

“I figured it out! It is a matter of perspective. But not the perspective of side versus side, like I was thinking. It’s time.”

Logan leaned in, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Expand, please.”

Janus nodded, mirroring Logan’s pose even as his hands remained free to gesture. “So you’re looking at this as: company knows their procedures best, they’re the ones making profit off it, so their duty to know details is higher than the public agency. Right?”

Logan nodded.

“Here’s where I’m coming from - it’s not a question of if this company knew or should have known this distinction, or even if this industry has the expertise that the agency lacks. It’s about what this case would do to the Sourgoutsis test for cases in the future. If the agency doesn’t have to clarify a policy change now, why would it ever? If it’s not enough that companies rely on a long history of approval here, when will it ever be? Do you follow, Logan?”

Logan linked his fingers, tapping the tips of his forefingers gently. “So your concern is about using a history of compliance as evidence of good faith?”

“Exactly, yes.”

“But Gomex knew that the change meant the compliant history was no longer relevant.”

“Only because they had insider knowledge of the change process. Not from the public information.”

“Wait, so you agree that Gomex knew?”

Janus grinned sheepishly, baring all his teeth. “Well, we’re both off the case now, so- yeah. They knew or should have known their claims would get rejected and banked on the agency not noticing for just long enough.”

Logan gasped. “But you still went into court and got the jury to agree with you that they didn’t!?”

Janus shrugged pragmatically. “It’s not about Gomex, it’s about the precedent this will set. I’d rather one bad actor get away with it now than have who-knows-how-many claims get screwed in the future for a good-faith misunderstanding.”

“Especially if that bad actor is paying you millions to help them get away with it?” Logan asked with an eyebrow raised.

Janus raised one of his own. “So you’d rather let a bad test become binding because the agency is paying you millions to get it set in stone?”

Logan, about to respond hotly, paused. “I suppose that’s a fair assessment. I didn’t think it was that bad a test until now - I assumed the insider knowledge would be baked into the standard.”

“You gotta think cynically, Mr. Finch,” Janus said with a chuckle. “Picture the worst-faith application and work backwards from there, cause you know it’ll end up happening.”

“Hmm,” Logan said with a quiet laugh. “When you’re right, you’re right.”

Janus fluttered his lashes. “The great Logan Finch thinks I’m right about something. My life’s goal is achieved.”

“Hey, I think you’re correct quite a lot!” Logan objected. “Infuriatingly precise and pedantic, sure, but ultimately right. There’s a reason my firm sends me against you - no one else wants to fight what’ll be a losing battle half the time.”

“Only half?”

“Even you must admit I’ve been correct on more than one occasion,” Logan said with a smile.

“That is true,” Janus admitted. “Knowing that you’re going to be the opposing counsel always makes me up my game.”

“The feeling’s mutual,” Logan said wryly. “I’d never admit it to the other partners, but you make me a better lawyer, Janus.”

The flattered glow of Janus’ grin was immediately dwarfed by two other, brighter bursts of light. Gold and blue pulsed from their backs in a flash, then settled into steady light. The colors lit the stylish room, blending to emerald as they pulsed in time with each man’s heartbeat. Logan looked at the glow reflected on the white couch cushions with wonder as he realized that Janus’ back  was no longer shining blue, but green. He caught his eyes and realized his own glow must have changed colors as well.

The lights pulsed more and more gently until they dimmed and went out, leaving Janus and Logan sitting across from one another just as the last of the sunlight fell below the horizon and the room went dark. 

The silence stretched for several moments, until Janus finally broke it with a bemused, “Huh.”

“So that was-”

“I think so.

“So now we’re-”

“Bonded, yeah. I think.”

“That would be a logical assumption.”

The silence returned, each man lost in his own thoughts. When they spoke again, it was at once.

“Maybe we should-”

“Perhaps we could still-”

“-make sure it’s permanent?

“-take a few days more?”

They shared a grin.

“A couple more days couldn’t hurt,” Janus said. “After all, it could be a fluke. We wouldn’t want to set a standard from a mere fluke.”

“Oh, of course not,” Logan responded with the same tone of amusement. “We want to confirm the integrity of the test.”

Janus stood to flick on a light, then turned as a thought occurred. 

“Wait, Logan - even once we go back, we won’t be able to be opposing counsel anymore. The soulmate code will still be applied, even though we’re not romantic or QP soulmates.”

Logan’s face fell for a moment, then lit up once more as he stood. “Well, we’ve got a couple days at least. I think the two best lawyers in the state might be able to argue that every precedent has an exception, don’t you, Mr. Alighieri?”

Janus’ smile mirrored Logan’s own as he replied, “Why yes, Mr. Finch, I think we might.”

#ts logan #ts janus #loceit #ts loceit #platonic loceit #sanders sides fanfiction #royality #dukexiety #remile #qpp analogical #qpp moceit #lawyer au #blatant self pandering #roses writes fanfic #this is Far Longer than intended #fighting over the mcu #arophobia #aro/ace logan #ace janus #acephobia

[threecrowsinatrenchcoat]

Kye Writes Masterpost

Here’s a fic masterpost that I will update as often as I actually remember to. 

AO3: ThreeCrowsInATrenchcoat

General Writing Tag: #kye writes

Requests are OPEN.

Askbox is OPEN

Mutuals if you need a beta reader, I am always willing!

Sanders Sides

Ongoing Series

“Archduke of Demonic Cultivation”

Romantic Intrulogical, romantic Roceit (background), romantic Remile (background)

AU - Magic and Fantasy

Chapters: 30/?

Masterpost: [link]

check out the accompanying playlist!

“Laws of Thermodynamics”

AO3 | Tumblr

Romanic Intrulogical, romantic Moxiety (background), romantic Remile (background)

AU - Modern, Human

Chapters: 1/4

check out the accompanying art!

AU ‘Verses

“Wash Away the Rain”

Winter Soldier AU

Word Count: 42,411

Works: 9

Status: On Hold

Masterpost: [coming soon]

“Plant Parents Dukeceit”

AU - Modern, Human

Word Count: 8,091

Works: 4

Status: Open

Masterpost: [coming soon]

“In Every Life, In Every Universe (Dukeceit One-Shots)“

AU - assorted

Word Count: 56,185

Works: 17

Status: Open

Masterpost: [coming soon]

“A Light for the Lost”

AU - Modern, Gifted/Powers

Word Count: 27,511

Works: 3

Status: Complete

“Furr ‘Verse”

AU - Medieval Fantasy, werewolf!Janus

Word Count: 16,413

Works: 8

Status: Open

Masterpost: [coming soon]

Completed Multichapter

“Dear Fellow Traveler”

AU - Modern, Human. The Holiday AU

Word Count: 23,811

check out the accompanying art!

check out the accompanying playlist!

One-Shots

“The Seven Sides Job”

AU - Heists and Conmen

Word Count: 9671

check out the accompanying art!

“Law of Sines and Cosines”

Romatic Intrulogical

AU - College/University

Word Count: 1,639

“Before Time Took Our Dreams Away”

AO3 | tumblr

Ambiguous Dukeceit

Canonverse

Word Count: 946

Other Fandoms

“Parchment and Lavender”

Fandom: Critical Role

AU - Modern Fantasy

Word Count: 3,125

Original Works

“A Home Of Our Own”

Niiro (OC) x Lyric (OC)

Modern Fantasy

Word Count: 19,130

#kye writes #kye writes masterpost

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

Soulmate September - Day 16

Day 16 - When your soulmate listens to music or is singing, you hear it in your own head as well. (Songfic, Crazy = Genius by PATD)

Pairing(s): Romantic Intrulogical, Ambiguous/Romantic Analomus, Background Roceit [the Janus part is ambiguous but whatever], Familial Logicality, Familial Virremile, Background Remile [again hinted]

TWs: swearing, sexual themes [light but they’re there], makeouts, Remus being Remus, drunken behaviour, pyromania, vomiting [not graphic just mentioned]

–

“Either of you pyros got a lighter I can borrow?”

Logan sighed, not making much in the way of eye contact with the emo sitting in the cell next to him and his soulmate. He dug into his jean pocket and lazily tossed the lighter to the boy clad in so much black and purple he looked like the sapient embodiment of a bruise.

“Keep it.”

“Oh. You sure? This is a pretty sweet lighter-”

“I insist.”, Logan groaned, running his hands down his face, “It’s not like I’ll be needing it ever again after this.”

From beside Logan, Remus slung his arm to the side, flopping it about limply to swat at his soulmate, “Shuddafuckup”, he slurred, hauling himself upright from his slumped over position, “S’gonna be fiiiine. Roman said he’d bail us oooouuuut, so fuckin’ chill-”

“Your brother told you last week that he would give us a ride to Dairy Queen but instead he was too fucking busy getting to third base with his boyfriend!!”, Logan snapped. Ugh, he would regret that in the morning. He ran his hands through his hair anxiously slicking it back. How had the night gone wrong so fast?...

-

‘You can set yourself on fire! You can set yourself on fire!’

Logan wasn’t sure what it was about the glowing ember embrace of a flame that drew him in toward it like a moth with a death wish, but as he allowed his soulmate Remus to haul his ass towards their usual hangout with the promise of some pretty choice items to burn, he found that he couldn't care less.

As he approached the overpass with his soulmate chugging a whole half a bottle of tequila without blinking, Logan wondered how he ever survived before without this whirlwind in human form.

‘She said at night in my dreams

You dance on a tightrope of weird

Oh but when I wake up you're so normal that you just disappear

You're so straight like commuters with briefcases towing the line

There's no residue of a torturer inside your of eyes’

“Check it the fuck out, babe! Did I bring the goods or what?”, Remus grinned nearly as brightly as the shine on the rather expensive looking crimson car - he guessed it might have been a Mercedes, but car brands all looked the same to him really - parked under the overpass. Logan didn’t have a particular favourite item to burn, but when Remus walked over in his lime green hoodie that barely covered his black leather shorts and fishnets to pose seductively on top of the hood? Logan hadn’t wanted to incinerate anything more in his life.

“You… How on Earth did you come by this?!”, he ran his hand along the curve of the hood, unashamedly letting his hand roam over Remus’ thigh. 

His soulmate hummed, leaning in to steal a kiss, murmuring softly against Logan’s lips, “If I told you I might’ve hotwired it just this afternoon? Is that a turn off or a turn on?”

Goddamn him, Remus knew just how to speak right to Logan’s soul.

“The latter, and you know it.”, Logan all but growled into their kiss.

‘She said you're just like Mike

Love but you wanna be Brian Wilson, Brian Wilson

Said you're just like Mike

Love but you'll never be Brian Wilson’

In the back of his mind, Logan did wonder what his father and morally conscious little brother would think; if they knew he snuck out to satisfy his pyromania, make out with his feral cryptid of a boyfriend, and engaged in petty acts of vandalism and thievery from time to time. What would Thomas and Patton think of their stoic, orderly son and big brother who - instead of studying for his undergraduate degree in astrophysics - would rather spend the night getting dangerous and dirty alongside his soulmate who had literally just admitted to auto theft  to acquire a ridiculously expensive car for him to burn?

The thought was there for all of two seconds until Remus’ tongue licking into his mouth banished it away. The only thot he needed tonight was the one driving him crazy with a kiss alone.

‘And I said (hey ay, ay)

If crazy equals genius (hey ay, ay)

If crazy equals genius

Then I'm a fucking arsonist (hey)

I'm a rocket scientist (hey hey)

(Hey ay, ay)

If crazy equals genius (hey)

You can set yourself on fire (hey ay)

But you're never gonna burn, burn, burn (hey ay)

You can set yourself on fire (hey ay)

But you're never gonna learn, learn, learn hey!’

Knowing they came here for a reason, Logan reluctantly ended their makeout session and grabbed for his trusted blue lighter.

“How full is the gas tank?”, Logan made sure to ask, popping open the door to the driver’s side to see what was left in the car. Might as well keep anything worth selling.

“Not sure.”, Remus shrugged, twirling the keys around his finger excitedly while he finished off their first bottle of the night, “Wanna help me make sure there’s nothing left?”

‘She said darlin' you know

How the wine plays tricks on my tongue

But you don't seem to change when you stuff all of

your feelings with drugs

Other boys you may have dated serrated your heart with a slice

But the cut of your love never hurts baby, it's a sweet butter knife’

Logan wasn’t sure how Remus managed to look even more majestic every time he looked at him, but as he clung tight to the hand rest above the passenger window while his soulmate pulled off his sixteenth donut in a row, all he could think about was how lucky he was to have him. Like a trickle of water turning into a river, Logan recognised the beginning of Na Na Na starting to play in his head. Of course. He knew Remus well enough by now to know that was coming. The humming under his soulmate’s breath also gave it away somewhat. 

While Remus kept trying to empty the tank, Logan couldn’t help but feel nostalgia for their first meeting; Remus’ older brother Roman had asked Logan to stand in for the theatre department’s regular dramaturge when Logan began to hear the beginnings of Avenue Q’s The Internet Is For Porn begin to invade his mind. Luckily for him, it hadn’t taken long for Remus to saunter over and try to flirt with him, humming the exact tune Logan had been hearing the whole time.

From there, they’d begun dating though it took a good few months before Logan would join Remus in his fantastical ramblings. He lamented on how he felt trapped by a father who meant well but expected so much from him, how stifled he felt having to be a role model to his living marshmallow of a little brother. How Logan just wanted the fun, exhilaration of doing something extreme for a change.

With Remus’ encouragement, Logan opened up about his pyromaniac tendencies which his soulmate was 110% onboard with. Ever since, the underpass had become their dirty, out of the way, graffiti scarred home away from home. Where Logan could indulge the urge to burn away his stresses and lose himself in Remus’ mantra of doing whatever the fuck they wanted.

‘She said you're just like Mike

Love but you wanna be Brian Wilson, Brian Wilson

Said you're just like Mike

Love but you'll never be Dennis Wilson’

With the car finally seemingly out of gas as it shuddered to a stop, Remus fluidly slid out of the open window - you know, like a normal functional human being - and slid across the hood of the car to open the door for Logan, “Alright, time for this bitch to burn!”

Logan was more than happy to get down to the main event after doing a last quick sweep of the car. All he’d found worth keeping was the planet shaped air freshener; so sue him, the sweet scent of mixed berries was delightful. Whipping out his lighter, Logan escorted Remus a safe distance away and pulled out the hairspray he’d swiped from his room earlier. He aimed the spray towards the car - making sure it wasn’t against the wind or pointed back at himself, he preferred to keep his eyebrows, thanks - and watched as the plume of fire engulfed the car’s seat cover. 

Crackling flames. Straining metal. Hissing fabric burning to a plastic like mess. It was a symphony and Logan was it’s conductor.

With his boyfriend wrapping his arms around his shoulders, Logan tilted to kiss him once more as the heat of the fire caressed their skin. Remus’ eyes never once left Logan, seeing his soulmate delight in an act of pure mindless vandalism, watching the way Logan looked truly free, sent his heart racing. In compliment, Logan turned back to Remus, grinning already at the shades of orange and yellow that painted his handsome features. He always thought Remus was at his most beautiful that way.

‘And I said (hey ay, ay)

If crazy equals genius (hey ay, ay)

If crazy equals genius

Then I'm a fucking arsonist (hey)

I'm a rocket scientist (hey hey)

(Hey ay, ay)

If crazy equals genius (hey)

You can set yourself on fire (hey ay)

But you're never gonna burn, burn, burn (hey ay)

You can set yourself on fire (hey ay)

But you're never gonna learn, learn, learn hey!’

Logan couldn’t tell you what happened next; one minute the two of them were watching the flames while his soulmate continued his campaign to destroy his kidneys with alcohol, the next Remus was sitting in his lap leaving hickeys all over his neck while Logan let his hands roam around under Remus’ hoodie. In the back of his mind, Logan could make out the beginning of a song he didn’t recognise at first, but as the lyrics kicked in, he let out a breathy chuckle. Of course, trust Remus to pick a thematic piece of music for the night’s events. As the song got louder - and Remus marked him more needily - Logan found he rather liked the song. He’d have to ask Remus what it was called later.

‘You can set yourself on fire (hey)

You can set yourself on fire (hey)

You can set yourself on fire (hey)

You can set yourself on fire’

The next thing either of them knew, there was a vague clattering noise followed by a  thunderous metallic bang. Followed by another, then another. One after another for a total of seven times before it finally quieted down. No music, no bang, just the fire crackling away. Thoroughly shaken, Remus and Logan untangled themselves from each other, the former demanding all too loudly, “What the creme fresh fuck was that?!”

“I-! I have no idea-”, Logan began. There wasn’t anything that would’ve done that inside the car, he’d checked. However, as he rounded the car, giving the flames a wide berth, Logan noticed someone laying on the ground on the other side of the car; dressed in a dark, patchy hoodie and ripped jeans, a plume of purple dyed frizzy hair poking out from the hood. He looked like your run of the mill emo. For a second, Logan was worried he and Remus would have to dispose of a body, but fortunately the young man groaned and began to sit up. To his side, Logan winced at a metallic glint blinding his vision.

The spray can doing so had clearly rolled out of the bag full of other cans, all in different colours. At least now Logan could put a face to the rather beautiful graffiti that tattooed the underpass as well as what had exploded in the fire as he noted the burst open paint cans under the car.

“Are you alright? What the hell happened?”, Logan questioned firmly, though he knew the disoriented emo on the ground likely couldn’t answer right away. He assumed from the way the young man rubbed the back of his head that he’d taken a rather nasty fall. The anxious artist seemed to remember exactly where he was, eyes blown wide in fear, 

“Dude, get outta here quick-”

“There he is!”

Three officers rushed towards the two of them prompting the emo and Logan to make a break for it, being sure not to run into the inferno. Remus pretty quickly got the idea and joined the two of them. It seemed neither of the three of them knew exactly where they were trying to run to, but a silent, unspoken agreement saw them all heading for the same direction. Looking back on it, Logan wondered if parting ways and heading for his car with Remus could’ve at least seen them with a better chance of getting away. 

But hindsight is a bitch that wakes up seven hours late and didn’t even bother to bring Starbucks. 

‘And I said (hey ay, ay)

If crazy equals genius (hey ay, ay)

If crazy equals genius

Then I'm a fucking arsonist (hey)

I'm a rocket scientist (hey hey)

(Hey ay, ay)

If crazy equals genius (hey)’

Before long, all Logan could hear was his sneakers scraping the ground and his own breathing competing against his heartbeat to dominate his ears. The urge to stop and breathe was intense but it felt as though doing just that would send the world crashing down around them. 

Of course, prolonged exercise and a stomach full of alcohol wasn’t the best combination. 

“‘M gonna fuckin’ puke-!”, Remus huffed, trying to cover his mouth with his hand. 

“Just hold on, Remus, we’re-!”

Logan watched in horror as his soulmate stopped to empty his stomach, unintentionally doing so in a way that blocked off the hoodie clad young man trying his best to keep up.

“Ah sHIT-!”

He didn’t need to look back; the clattering of the satchel, the mutual yelps of surprise and pain, Logan kept running even as two of the officers apprehended his soulmate and the hooded lad. The guilt would catch up to Logan before the third officer did, or it would have if he didn’t mistime his turning around the next corner only to end up nearly getting run over. How poetic; from making out on a car hood to being cuffed against one. Had Remus not been busy insulting the officers’ mothers rather colourfully, Logan theorised he would’ve no doubt made some innuendo about it.

Exhausted from their chase and thoroughly cuffed, all Logan could do was let himself be loaded into the back of the cop car with Remus and the anxious emo.

‘You can set yourself on fire (hey ay)

But you're never gonna burn, burn, burn (hey ay)

You can set yourself on fire (hey ay)

But you're never gonna learn, learn, learn hey!’ 

-

“Mmm… Logan, can you-”, Remus burped a little too wetly for it not to make Logan feel as queasy as Remus looked, “Can you stroke my hair? Pleeeeeease?”

Sighing in that playful kind of annoyance only true love can allow, Logan did as asked. The night may wind up with him being harshly reprimanded by his father and possibly losing his come-and-go privileges, but at least for now he had Remus.

“...... I’m sorry.”, came the rough voice of the emo in the cell next to theirs, “You both wouldn’t be stuck here if it wasn’t for me.”

Remus just gave a dismissive grunt in reply while Logan assured their cell companion, “While you may have led the police to us, I doubt our proclivity for fiery vandalism would’ve kept going undetected forever.”, he looked the emo up and down, “Might I ask,...?”

“Virgil.”

“Virgil,”, Logan repeated, “Might I ask how you ended up stumbling across us?”

Virgil shrugged, “I’ve been painting the underpass for years. Pretty much everything down there’s something I’ve done.”. 

He chewed the inside of his cheek, “I had a shitty night so I came down to paint something when I walked in on you two getting all ‘friendly’,”, he airquoted, “So I went to go home but I got stopped by an officer and started panicking. So I just…. ran.”

His posture curled a little while he twirled Logan’s lighter between his fingers in a stimming action, “Then I realised I was way too fucking close to the fire and I blacked out.”, Virgil embarrassedly pulled his hood up, “Fire scares the shit outta me, always has. Next thing I knew, I woke up with you staring at me. You both know the rest.”

Logan nodded quietly. It really did fill in a few gaps, “I can’t blame you for not wanting to stick around. I do apologise that we inadvertently ruined your night.”

Virgil shrugged, “Eh, it’s alright, it’s just gonna suck having to have my dads bail me out again. Not that dad would mind but pops will probably gimme another lecture about ‘unhealthy coping habits’ again....”

At that, they sat for the most part in silence. Then that song began to trickle into Logan’s brain again. As nice as it had been in accompaniment to their antics before, Logan found it almost grating now. He sighed and gently nudged Remus, 

“Re-”

“Logan, babe,”, Remus groaned, beating him to the punch, “Can you fuckin’ give it a rest with the music? M’fuckin’ head hurts.”

“....But you’re the one who’s been thinking about that song, right!?”, Logan’s concern was obvious. Remus caught on as well.

“No!? I thought it was you!?”, he sloppily hauled himself onto Logan’s lap, pressing their foreheads together, “Issokay babe, I won’t let-”, he stifled a burp though it did nothing to save Logan from Remus’ drunken breath, “Won’t let fate change our soul bond! I’ll fuckin- I’ll whip out my brain surgery skills right here if I gotta-”

“Remus!”, Logan sternly held him back a little, “Calm down, let’s just try and think rationally, okay!?”

“.... Have you ever MET me, you stupid sexy science bitch?”, Remus cackled at the alliteration.

“Please be serious for once.”, Logan sighed, fixing his glasses in a self calming gesture, “Do you know the name of the song in your head?”

“Yeah, iss fuckin’ um...”, Remus clicked his fingers in thought, trying to place it, “S’fuckin Scream In The Club, or some shit who sings it...”

“..... You mean, Panic At The Disco?”, came Virgil’s voice from the neighbouring cell.

Remus pointed dramatically, “THATS THE BITCH!”. He put his fist to his chest to stifle another burp, instead taking a second to turn and spit out some of the awful taste on his tongue, “Fuckin’... the lyrics were like…. “You can set yourself-””

“- On fire?!”, Virgil finished, looking rather interested in the conversation now.

Logan nodded between the two of them, “Yes, that’s the same opening line I remember. Virgil, I take it you’re familiar with the song?”

“Well yeah, and I’ll do you one better. Uh,....”, he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “I’ve had that song stuck in my head all night.”

Remus and Logan shared a look of shock. Could Virgil really be their soulmate? It would explain the times when they would hear music that didn’t seem to line up with each other’s tastes. Before Logan could propose a test, Remus was way ahead of him; he rolled his eyes as the music flooded into his skull. 

Virgil brightened up, “Ashnikko, huh? Good choice-”

“HOLY SHIT, LOGAN, WE GOT-! WE GOT ANOTHER ONE!!”, Remus screeched, wriggling excitedly in Logan’s lap, almost causing his boyfriend to drop him.

“Indeed.”, Logan sighed fondly as he tried to get Remus to sit back down on the bench instead of his lap, “So now you better call Roman and see if he can bail us ALL out..”

----------

... I know I won’t probably be able to catch up but hell with it, I love some of the prompt ideas, I’ll just stop tagging the blog if I run over at this point.

A big thanks to @accidental-sanders for the idea for this one, it was really fun to do.

@tsshipmonth2020

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account   @cateye-glasses   @fandomsofrandom

#analomus #intrulogical #logan sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #my fics #fanfics #logan #virgil #remus #crazy = genius #songfic #soulmate september #I'm still going I s2g #I miiight put these all up on my ao3 tbh

[patton-cake]

Paint and pictures

Pairings: pre-romantic Logicality, develops later into romantic logicality. Maybe prinxiety and Remile in the future.

AU Summary: Logan has always loved museums. The art, sculptures and just the peace and quiet made Logan fall in love with it's history everytime. What happens if Logan doesn't only fall in love with the art work, but also with the museum's newest visitor?

Chapter summary: All he wanted was to read his book, how did he end up sharing.. oreos?.. with a cute stranger?

Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Chapter 1: Nerd meets nerd

A feeling of peace spread through Logan when he turned the page of his book. In the background he could hear the tour guide explain the history of some of the paintings from the Golden era. Logan could probably quote the entire tour they gave at the museum, he was almost a hundred percent certain that he could recall every fact about the paintings by memory at this point. He knew the years in which they were painted, the name of the artists, the country where they were painted and every little detail in the art itself.

He probably knew more than the tour guides themselves. He certainly was more excited about the art than they were, but Logan wasn't really looking for a job at the museum right now. He preferred to focus on his studies first, that history degree wouldn't graduate by itself. No, eventhough Logan loved art and it's history, he didn't study art. His dream was to become a history teacher and to share the beautiful and horrible events from the past. Logan couldn't wait to be able to educate the next generation.

Oh right, his book, the reason he came here in the first place. Over the years, the museum had become Logan's second home. He had found that he felt more comfortable surrounded by paint and sculptures, so that's where he was now. He turned another page and looked up from his book when he heard another person enter. A boy around his age, with curly brown hair that seemed to go in every direction and mesmerising blue eyes. The stranger looked around for a few seconds before resting his gaze on one of the sculptures.

Logan recognized the sculpture to be from Athena, Greek goddess of wisdom, handicrafts and welfare. The boy sat down in front of the goddess and took his blue backpack of his back. He searched for a few seconds before grabbing a notebook covered in stars and a pencil. Logan moved his gaze back to his book and started to get lost in his story again, only to be interrupted a few minutes later. A soft voice broke his concentration and the voice seemed to belong to the boy with the backpack.

"Excuse me? I'm sorry to disturb you, but I can't find someone who works here and I had some questions about the sculptures.. Do you know anything about Greek mythology?"

O gosh he's adorable

"Oh, I'm Patton by the way!" The boy, Patton apparently, let out a giggle and awkwardly waved at Logan.

Logan closed his book and placed it next to him on the bench. Before Logan could even introduce himself, Patton was walking back to where he had abandoned his backpack. He seemed to search for something and Logan walked towards him with a questioning look on his face.

"There they are! Here! Do you want one?" Logan's confusion only grew when the boy handed him some oreos.

"Uh no thank you? I never got the chance to introduce myself, but my name is Logan and yes I know a fair amount of information about Greek mythology, although I know more about the Roman era."

"That's great! It's nice to meet you Logan! I'm Patton!" Patton paused for a second before hiding his face in his hands and groaning softly, "I had already introduced myself hadn't I? Well, now you probably won't forget my name that easily!" Just as quickly as Patton's smile had disappeared, it returned and Logan tried to hold back a laugh.

"It's okay Patton. So, you needed some help?" Patton picked up his notebook and pressed it into Logan's hands before kneeling down next to his backpack. Logan opened the book and saw several notes about multiple goddesses, followed by some quick sketches.

"Okay so," it was that moment that Logan noticed the second, smaller bag that hang over Patton's shoulder. "I'm a photography major and I have this project about history." He stood back up, now with a camera in his hands. "We have to do a photoshoot inspired by different time eras! So I already convinced my best friends to do an Egypt themed and a Medieval themed shoot with me. Now I only need some ideas for a Greek mythology inspired shoot."

Logan watched as Patton ate some of his oreos and picked up the pencil. "Well first you'll need to decide if you want to do it about a specific god or if you prefer something more about other parts of Greek culture, such as their philosophy, architecture or politics, which are also really interesting. Perhaps, depending on who you choose, you can take pictures near the lake in the forest not far from here."

Logan wrote down several names with little summaries before looking back up at Patton. "Oh my gosh! Thank you Logan! I think I'll do it about a specific god or goddess or maybe both! Or or or I can try to recreate one of the myths or-"

It was at this point that Logan's brain decided to zone out. He tried to listen, he really did, but for some reason his brain had decided that it would be a better idea to focus on Patton's enthusiastic smile, or the way he almost seemed to flap with his hands from excitement. Wait what? No this wasn't happening. Logan quickly shook himself back to reality and realised that Patton had asked him a question. Those thoughts should stay in their place, which was the 'This isn't the time for touchstarved gay thoughts Logan' folder.

"I apologise Patton, I don't think I caught what you were saying." Logan awkwardly cleared his throat and fidget with his hands.

"That's cause I didn't throw anything Lo!" Patton giggled when Logan let out a groan and continued, "I asked if you maybe knew someone who can pose for me in the photoshoot?"

Don't do it, no Logan. Yes he's cute but is one cute boy worth the complete humiliation that would come with a photoshoot? He could just suggest a friend. Yes! That sounded like a good idea, he would just tell him that maybe Remy would be able to-

"I can do it"

You had one job Logan

And you failed

But he easily repressed all the anxious thoughts that took over his brain when he saw Patton's reaction. Eyes wide, filled with stars, his smile the brightest it had been all day. It was totally worth it. And if Logan leaned into Patton's touch when the boy hugged him, who could blame him?

#logicality #museum AU #logan x patton #patton x logan #logan sanders #patton sanders #pattoncake writes #paint and pictures AU

[notalwaysthevillian]

Shattering Stereotypes

Warnings: Kissing, making out, hickies/marks

Pairings: Romantic Moxiety, Remile, and Logince

Word Count: ~1.7k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Read from the beginning

Chapter 19

“I’m home!” Logan called out as he walked in. His lips were still tingling from when Roman had kissed him goodbye.

Thomas appeared in the doorway, dressed up as Captain America. “What time are we due at the Prince’s again?”

“Four o’clock, sweetheart.”

Preston came down the stairs, flicking the hair out of his face. His arm was painted silver, making it abundantly clear what his costume was - the Winter Soldier.

“Oh my god, you guys did a couple’s costume? You never do that!”

“I figured we’d have some fun this year.” Preston teased, before grabbing Thomas’s plastic shield off the couch. “Take a picture for us?”

Logan took the picture, fake-gagging when Thomas held up the shield and made a big show of kissing Preston.

“You know, you and Roman act the same way.”

Flushing bright red, Logan handed the camera back over. “We do not!”

“At least they’re together now, Tommy.” The grin on Preston’s face had Logan mentally shielding himself for whatever was coming next. “Watching them pine for each other? That was horrible to experience.”

Thomas rolled his eyes, poking Preston in the chest. “I seem to remember that you had a crush on me for our entire high school career before you said anything.”

Laughing at Preston’s protests, Logan headed up to his room to get ready.

He immediately remembered his problem.

An extremely visible mark on his neck that he had no makeup to hide.

Locking his bedroom door, he immediately called Roman.

“Hey, honeybee, what’s up?”

Feeling his cheeks burn, Logan held up the camera so that Roman could see his neck. “I may have forgotten that I needed to take care of this.”

“Oh shit.” Roman put his phone down, giving Logan a view of his ceiling. There was some background noise as he rummaged through his dresser.

The camera shifted to show a triumphant Roman holding up some makeup. “I’ve got you covered. Or, I will, when you get here.”

“Thank goodness.”

“Shouldn’t you be heading out soon anyway? It’s almost four.” Roman tilted his head, giving heart eyes to the camera. “I miss you already.”

“Logan, you ready to go?!”

Blowing a kiss to his camera, Logan said his goodbyes and hung up. He ensured that his goggles were covering his issue before heading downstairs and getting in the car.

True to form, Roman darted out of his house as soon as they pulled up, opening the door for Logan.

“Chivalry isn’t dead.” Thomas joked, giving Roman a smile. “Nice to see you at your own house, Roman.”

“I’m happy to have you guys here!” Roman said as he threaded his fingers through Logan’s. “My parents have been dying to meet you guys.”

Logan heard the door open once more before Connor and Margo stepped out onto the porch. Thomas and Preston headed over, the boys trailing behind them.

“Oh, you must be Logan’s dads!” Margo opened her arms for a hug, smiling as each of them took her up on the offer. “I’m Margo, and this is my husband, Connor.”

“And I’m Dahlia!” Dahlia twirled out of the door, holding a plastic fairy wand. “Ro-Ro, I need you to help me put on my costume!”

“Only the best for you, Princess.” Roman scooped up his sister, making her squeal, before looking back at Logan. “You can help the fair lady get dolled up, or stand out here and listen to our parents talk.”

“I did learn how to do some fancy hair for my younger cousins.”

Dahlia cheered in glee as the three of them entered the house and headed up to her room.

When Roman pushed open the door, Logan had expected to be blinded by a sudden barrage of pink. Instead, Dahlia’s room was tastefully decorated, with hints of pinks and purples strewn throughout. Her bedspread was purple, but that was the biggest splash of color in the otherwise white room.

“I expected more toys on the floor.”

“Mr. Snuffles and his friends are sleeping in the closet.” Dahlia said, as though that explained everything.

Roman laughed at the look on Logan’s face. “The make-up is in my room if you want to put some on while I play the role of handmaiden.”

Hiding his blushing face from Dahlia, Logan gave a nod. He moved into Roman’s room, seeing the foundation sitting on his desk, a clean brush sitting next to it. Removing his goggles, he quickly covered up the bruise.

“Dahlia’s all dressed up with places to be.”

“Mom! Look at me!”

Logan smiled at Roman in the mirror, holding up the foundation. “Thanks for this.”

“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t help cover up my mistake?”

As Roman spoke, he slid behind Logan, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. The tension melted from Logan’s shoulders as Roman pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“If we’re not careful there might be another ‘mistake’.”

Grinning, Roman reached over and grabbed a black spray bottle. “Here, let’s get some setting spray on this. It’ll keep the foundation from rubbing off as much.”

Logan tilted his neck, allowing the spray to settle and dry. He felt Roman’s breath afterwards, spinning around and gently pushing him back. “Ro.”

“Lo.”

“C’mon, didn’t we say we’d take Dahlia trick or treating?”

“You know, the whole ‘super responsible’ thing,” Roman pulled Logan closer by the hips, smirking as he heard Logan’s breath hitch. “It’s super hot.”

“ROMAN WE’RE GONNA MISS TRICK OR TREATING!”

Laughing at Dahlia’s screech, Roman settled for kissing Logan’s forehead before the two of them headed downstairs. Dahlia was all dressed up in her pink princess gown, a tiara falling off her head.

Before Roman could say anything, Logan walked over and quickly braided some of Dahlia’s hair and fixed her tiara so that it would stay put.

“Get together so I can take your picture!”

The three of them took a few pictures before Dahlia started squirming. Just as she opened the door, a group of kids turned to walk up the driveway.

“LET’S GO!”

Trying to keep in his laughter at how excited Dahlia was, Logan trailed behind her and Roman as they headed to the street.

“Alright, squirt, you know the drill.” Roman was saying as Logan walked a little quicker to catch up. “We’re leaving Mrs. Dalloway’s house until last, since all she has are those yucky mints. We have to stop by the Torres’s so I can say hello to Principal Torres.”

“And we go to Lexa’s house to get the big chocolate bars!”

“Exactly.”

As Dahlia ran up to the first house, Logan moved to Roman’s side. “Seems like you have all this planned out.”

“We’ve lived here our whole life, of course we know the houses to go to.” Roman glanced over at Logan. “You have been trick or treating before, right?”

“I went until I was eight.”

Shaking his head, Roman reached out to take Logan’s hand.

Logan pulled away, glancing around. “Sorry, I just...I know how some of these moms can be and I -”

“No need to explain, I’ve run into a few Karens in my day. It’s all good.”

“Thanks for understanding.”

Dahlia darted back up to them. “Next house please!”

The three of them headed through the Prince’s normal route, with Dahlia filling them in on her candy inventory as they went.

“I already told Ro I’d give him all my Heath bars, but is there a candy you like Logan?” She asked as they headed back to the house. “Sharing is caring.”

“Oh, well, thank you Dahlia. I happen to love Snickers bars.”

Dahlia made a face. “You can have them.”

They entered the house laughing, immediately smelling meatloaf. The voices of their parents drifted in from the kitchen.

“Oh good! You guys are just in time.”

The oven timer started beeping, and Connor ran over to take the meatloaf out. Dahlia skipped over to help put out the silverware.

Dinner went by quickly, with the adults mostly talking to each other and leaving Logan and Roman to talk quietly by themselves. Dahlia hopped back and forth between conversations, pushing the Almond Joys across the table to Logan at one point. He gave her a big smile and thanked her, sliding them into his lab coat pocket.

Once dinner was over and cleaned up, everyone moved into the living room. Before they left the kitchen, Roman tugged Logan back.

“Come with me.”

Logan saw Preston glance over at them before they snuck out the other door to the kitchen. His dad simply gave him a discreet thumbs up, making Logan blush to the roots of his hair.

Roman led him down into the theater, ducking down into one of the seats. Logan followed suit, sitting next to him.

“Remember when we were alone here last time?” Roman asked, tilting his head at his boyfriend. “I think - I think I wanted to kiss you then. But my thick skull got in the way.”

Glancing toward the door, Logan was glad to see it was still closed. He slipped into Roman’s lap, looping his arms around Roman’s neck. “And what’s stopping you from doing it now?”

“Absolutely nothing.”

Logan could feel the grin on Roman’s face as their lips met, rolling his eyes. Roman pulled him as close as possible, his hands resting on Logan’s hips. When they broke apart for air, Roman immediately started pressing kisses down Logan’s jaw.

“Careful.” Was all Logan could gasp out.

Another smirk from Roman. “No marks, I swear.”

“Good.”

Ten minutes later, Logan heard the door open at the top of the stairs. He practically flung himself off Roman’s lap, landing in the adjacent chair.

“Logan? We’re going to head home now.” There was a knowing tone in Preston’s voice. “If you want to keep making out with your boyfriend, you can, but you’ll have to walk home.”

“Be right up!” Logan squeaked, hearing his dad laugh before the door shut.

Roman waggled his eyebrows. “I mean, he did give us permission.”

Logan rolled his eyes again. “I’m going home, but...thank you for tonight. It was great, and our parents got along really well.”

Grabbing his phone, Logan got to his feet. Before he took off back up the stairs, he leaned over, giving Roman one last kiss. It was his turn to smirk when he heard Roman whine as they broke apart.

“There’s plenty more where that came from.”

Before Roman could answer, Logan darted up the stairs, heading home with his dads.

#romantic logince #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #logan sanders #roman sanders

[things-we-used-tc-share]

2020 Fic Masterlist

Logicality 

don’t follow me, you’ll end up in my arms: Logan was entirely sure he would not be loved by Patton, but turns out he’s not the only one doing the following tonight. (Short!fic)

What Kind of Magic is This?: Patton likes to collect Dandelions for a variety of different things, he gets a visitor on his lunch break in the middle of the forest. (Faery!Logan)

earth: “The Earth is dying,” Logan whispered, staring at his hands with the most melancholia that Patton had ever seen in any living creature “And there’s nothing I can do to stop it, or any of us, Humans are suffocating her, and soon she is going to suffocate you,” (Faery!Logan)

ocean eyes: Patton works in a coffee shop, he gets a date with the cute quiet boy sitting in the corner with a book in his lap.

Logince

hostage: Logan is getting rather tired of his life repeating itself. (warnings for emotional abuse, Logan/OMC, Platonic!Logince)

Short Temper:  Roman has not been feeling okay since he saw Remus, and seeks out confirmation from Logan that he is experiencing what he thinks he is. (platonic!Logince)

Not Annoying: Prompt: “I don’t think you’re annoying…I know…I don’t…I really like listening to and hearing what you have to say even if its a lot sometimes..”

Anxious: Prompt: “I feel sick…so anxious and sick and like my heart is trying to beat its way out of my chest.”

Little Whispers: Prompt: “Your spouse disappears for two weeks, then returns with a newborn baby,” (domestic abuse/violence mentioned in this fic)

Saturn: Logan and Roman talk about existence, and what that means.

Chlorine: Logan and Roman have been best friends their entire lives, keeping the one secret that would solve their problem close to their chest. Until Roman’s twenty-fifth birthday, when he begins to think of his future, and how it either includes Logan or it doesn’t.

Loceit

Kisses: Logan already knew Janus’ name, but it’s still strange to say it out loud.

Intrulogical 

Surfing: It’s certainly a nice day for surfing, Logan thinks, five minutes before he has to pull someone out of the water. 

Analogical

Home: (Songfic based on Home by Philip Philips) Early morning conversations with Logan and Virgil (Background LAMP).

Kisses in the Rain: Prompt: “I’m not kissing you in the rain! We’ll catch our death!”

Prinxiety

Mud: The only bad thing about Roman’s escapades, really, is the fact that he never really comes back without a few scratches…and it’s a good job he can just snap away the dirt.

Moceit

The Slow Acceptance of Janus Sanders: When you love someone you start picking up their habits a little. And as it turns out, Janus is actually very good at caring about the others.

Janus Does Not Cry: Janus Sanders does not cry, he does not know how to cry. (Human!AU)

Heretic: Janus and Patton have a late-night conversation over a bottle of wine.

Receit 

bellyache: Remus has a habit of self-destructing, and taking absolutely everyone around him down in the explosion.

Royality 

Garden: Just thinking about Patton can make Roman create the most wonderful things.

Logan/Roman/Deceit/Patton

lovely: Patton accidentally runs into the lives of three men, finds that he keeps running back. (Warning for Graphic Depictions of violence)

Royalogicality

Strange Tides: Roman hears a shout of pain, and follows it to the caves just above the forest. (Witch!Roman) (Mermaids!Logan+Patton)

Creativitwins

No Solidarity Quite Like Heartbreak: Roman gets home after being broken up with, Remus shows him how to feel those emotions. (Human!Au/High School!AU)

Clements Town [WIP]

Ships (For the whole fic): Eventual Logicality | Platonic Royality | Brotherly Creativitwins | Romantic Roceit | Romantic Dukexiety | Platonic DLAMPR

Fic Summary: Clements Town is the home for the “gifted and unnatural” a term coined by early settlers of the town in the 1960s. It is the home of witches, or humans who carry the gene for powers beyond current scientific understanding. Here, they will be safe from hunters.

Logan, a third generation witch, comes home to see the mother he hasn’t seen since he was a child following the passing of his father, looking for a place to feel safe with his newfound powers. He doesn’t want to use his powers, doesn’t want to control them, but that doesn’t mean he can’t find some pleasant company.

But, soon the choice he has over his powers may not be entirely his own, as things take a turn for the worst.

Chapter One 

Empty Spaces [WIP]

Ships (For the whole fic): Demus | Logince | Moceit | Background Remile | Brotherly!Creativitwins

Fic Summary: At the age of 16, every person wakes up feeling their soulmates emotions alongside their own. Scientists are unsure whether this is an evolutionary tactic, or divine intervention, but most soulmates are twinned in the same general vicinity and don’t move away until they’ve found their ‘other half’.

Roman and Remus have spent their entire lives by each other’s side, and are ready for their next adventure; university. Remus is more than determined and ready to meet his soulmate, whereas Roman has to unlearn much of his upbringing before he’s ready to meet his own. Still, only fate really decides, right?

Part A: Calming A Storm

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

#sanders sides #ts sides #ts fic #ts sides fic #masterlist

[amalia2003sstuff]

Scribbles

Day nine of Soulmate September . @tsshipmonth2020

Prompt: “When you write something on your own skin it appears on your soulmate’s skin as well.”

Human AU

Pairings: Prinxiety, familial creativitwins, familial anxciet, background romantic remile

Warning: Mention of Remus.

First - Previous - Next

The things showing up on Roman’s wrists first appeared as small scribbles, he was 3 when it first happened. At first his mother thought he had just scribbled on his wrists and took him to the bathroom to clean him, but after she saw they weren’t going away, she sat Roman down and gave him the talk about soulmates.

From that moment on, Roman would doodle small cute things for his soulmate to see. Except that one time Remus drew a moustache on his own face, and thought that because they were twins and they were supposed to look the same, he should draw one for Roman too. Roman could just imagine how annoyed his and Remus’ soulmates were to be stuck with that on their face for a few days.

When Roman first learned how to write, the first thing he did was write a message for his soulmate. 

What’s your name?

The reply took a while, but Roman was happy nonetheless.

Virgil.

Roman kept asking questions, while also answering to Virgil’s questions. He learned Virgil was 5, while Roman was 7. He also learned Virgil didn’t learn how to read or write yet, so his older brother was doing it for him.

Virgil also learned things about Roman. Other than his name and age, he learned of Roman’s love of cartoons, especially Disney.

As time went on, they learned even more things about eachother. Like the fact Roman was into acting, or that Virgil enjoyed drawing, and if Roman noticed anything from all the doodles Virgil would do on his arm, he was getting better everyday.

Soon they grew up to be eachother’s best friend. Both of them knew they could tell the other anything. Virgil told Roman about his struggles with getting bullied at school, and how that was really putting him on edge, and Roman told him about his home life, a thing not a lot of people knew. How he and his brother were raised by their mother in a small apartment, because his father left his mom after she got pregnant, and how Roman was working really hard to make a better life for him and his family. Not really things most middle schoolers, almost freshmen in high school, had to worry about.

Those are the things Virgil loved about Roman. His determination and kindness. Virgil couldn’t even begin to understand how much harder Roman’s life was compared to his. Yes, Virgil didn’t know who his real parents were, but he didn’t really care anyway, he was happy with his two dads, a therapist and a coffee addict barista, and his sometimes annoying older brother.

When Roman started high school, messages started to slow down a bit. Roman was busy with school, and Virgil was busy dealing with his bullies, but they were still always there for eachother.

By the time Virgil started high school, his family agreed that the bullying was going too far, and they all knew no one in charge was going to do anything about it, so they decided to move. 

They moved to the town where Roman lived, following Virgil’s suggestion, since both his family and Roman’s family knew that they were soulmates. This would mean Virgil would get to go to the same school as Roman. It meant that he would finally be able to meet Roman. He was nervous, but also really happy, and of course, Roman was ecstatic when Virgil told him.

On Virgil’s first day at his new school, they both agreed that Roman would be the one showing him around, so now Virgil was waiting in the school office for the other boy to show up.

When he finally did, all Virgil could think was ‘Cute.’ 

“I’ll take it from here Miss G.” Roman said to the woman working in the office, who in turn smiled and sent them on their way.

The tour went by normally, while Virgil and Roman talked to eachoter like they knew eachother for their whole lives, which they kind of did.

When the tour was over, Roman turned to Virgil. “So this is the end of the tour, but before you go to class, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Ok?” Virgil raised an eyerow. “Shoot.”

“Do you want to be my boyfriend? You can say no. That’s perfectly fine, but I just- We’ve been keeping in contact for so long, and I started to really like you, so I just thought-”

Virgil put a hand on his mouth to stop his ranting. “Just shut up and take a deep breath. 

Virgil took his hand off and Roman took a big breath.

“Of course I want to be your boyfriend, you himbo.” Virgil chuckled.

Cue offended Princey noises.

—-

In the future, the two went on to move in together when they went to college. Roman got a major in acting, and Virgil got one in art. After college, Roman became an actor at the local theatre, slowly working his way up, and Virgil became a comic book artist for a big company. They got married and adopted children of their own, and if anyone is wondering, Roman did end up helping his mom. With some of the money he got from acting, and some money Remus saved, they got their mother a new better place. 

So, in the end, everyone was happy.

#virgil sanders #roman sanders #prinxiety #sanders sides #soulmate september #janus sanders #remy sanders #emile picani #remile

[nostalgic-pancakes]

Room 73- Chapter 1/8

There is a being that lives in the chemistry building of Haley-Dove Secondary. It has been there longer than anyone’s living memory, and nobody questions it anymore.

Pairing/s: (Eventual) Romantic Prinxiety, Loceit and Pintroverts/Karrot Kings, Queerplatonic Intruality and platonic DLAMRT(N) with mentioned background Kailliot. Romantic (married!) Remile and mentioned Sanders Shorts characters.

Read on AO3!

Word count: 2950

Warnings: Mentioned bullying, allusions to the foster system, perhaps minor disassociation? Paranormal elements.

Other notes: So many thanks to my Beta (!!!) Juicyboxers for looking through this fic for me- and teaching me so much stuff about dialogue!! So if you notice that the dialogue here is better than the dialogue on my other stuff, than thank him!

Anyways, without further ado... (tinny drumroll)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a being that lives in the chemistry building of Haley-Dove Secondary. It has been there longer than anyone’s living memory, and nobody questions it anymore.

It’s a strange one, a space completely fuzzed out by something resembling static, but if that static could exist, could take up space, be real in a way static really can’t be.

The being lives on the third desk to the right, second from top, room 73. It seems to be on friendly terms with the thing that sometimes screams in the courtyard and the witch who lives in the woods surrounding the town. It doesn’t seem to like the slamming locker much, but it doesn’t hurt anyone, so nobody cares.

It lingers, at that desk, watching boys and girls and everyone in between study the sciences as the years go on, seeing the building as a boy’s school, then a bomb shelter, then a public school classroom, watching. Nobody knows what the being is, really, but it’s there, so nobody will say anything.

Across the country, three people grieve quietly.

…

”BEEP, BEEP, BEEP”

“Shu-Shuddup, Pat...” Groaning slightly, Janus lifts his covers from his head, just a little, to flip the bird at his brother, who clearly understood the concept of ‘don’t wake someone up before sunrise’. “...lemme sleep.”

Pat doesn’t seem to realize this, clearly and he continues making obnoxious beeping noises at him. Stupid Pat and his relentless cheer never letting Janus brood enough to fit the aesthetic.

“Alright Pat, let’s get up then. Besides, this has to be better than middle school.” Janus feels bad almost immediately for bringing that up because Patton’s eyes cloud over some, before clearing themselves up and his brother smiles again, a little wider, beckoning Janus out of bed.

“Pat, could you pass me my cape?” asks Janus, holding out his hand expectantly. He’s moderately surprised when there’s nothing there after a few seconds. He glances over, and his brother’s looking at him a bit cheekily.

“Aww Janny, couldn’t you possibly go without it for our first day? You wear it all the time!” Patton replies, picking up the cape and throwing it to him, Janus catching from below. It’s routine.

“No, and you know it. Now, slacks or skirt?” asks Janus, sifting through the small clothes pile Patton kept out for the week

“Skirt, please! The one with the suspenders?” “You have no taste”

“Says the guy wearing the cape, Jan.” when Patton takes the skirt, it brushes against the wall first, promptly setting off a chorus of whispering flowers gossiping. Jamus is really, really lucky that Patton hasn’t realised that that’s a viable way to wake him up.

Deeming themselves acceptable, they both go downstairs, with Patton skipping down the steps more than anything, and Janus trying to avoid the cracks on the eighth, sixth, and second steps. The shadow in the creaks always snarled at him if he stepped on a crack, and it was, frankly, annoying.

Emile and Remy were already in the kitchen, Emile making (slightly charring) breakfast and Remy brewing coffee while simultaneously downing his fifth cup of the stuff, shifting from foot to foot to some mid-2000’s pop playing from Emile’s phone.

“Hey there, small fries! It’s eggs and toast for breakfast, so gobble up before you go- breakfast is the most important meal of the day!” Exclaims Emile, as soon as he catches sight of Patton’s yellow skirt in the stairwell. Remy looks up from the coffee pot, acknowledges Both Janus and Patton’s existence, then nods and brings out two more mugs, one yellow and black and one yellow and pink onto the kitchen island, next to the Steven Universe and ‘I’ll sleep when I’m Dead’ cups respectively.

“Hi, Emile! I’m so excited for today- do you think Jan and I could make some friends today?” asks Patton, still smiling as he elbows Janus for the latter part of that sentence. Janus turns around, knocks the perpetrator’s elbow, and grins, sitting down to accept his burnt eggs and coffee while Patton gets his burnt eggs and sugar concoction. Remy takes up the seat on Patton’s other side, grunting as he downs his sixth cup of coffee and Emile swoops into his husband's space, plucking the empty cup from Remy’s hands and not letting him get a refill. Remy grumbles a bit, but there’s no real malice- this is routine, always has been, as long as there have been witch-hazel plants growing along the house and as long as Remy and Emile have known each other.

Emile plops down with his breakfast and his coffee mug- always too much milk- and turns to face Patton, straightening his sweater vest, beaming in a way that fools a lot of strangers into thinking that Patton’s actually biologically related to him.

“I think you two can, Kiddo! With the right people, you and Jan could set the world on fire!” he cheers, and even though the smile’s a bit smaller around the end, the statement is sincere.

“Hey, arson is fun.” quips Janus, and Emile gasps, but clearly is holding back a grin, while Remy is straight-up (nah) cackling, as Patton chokes a bit on his eggs at the deadpan delivery. Janus doesn’t make an expression, just puts another bite of eggs in his mouth, scraping the edge of the plate with his fork. He cringes at the sound some, but it’s over in a second, thankfully.

It’s only about ten minutes later that he and Patton are at the doorway, book-bags packed and ready to go, with Remy and Emile waving, does Janus finally realize that yeah, High School is starting, and he’s terrified. A year without Patton at his side constantly is crazy- they only have two common classes, and that means this year will have the longest amount of time they’ve ever been away from each other since meeting every day. Patton’s scared too, Janus can tell, because the hand that he’s using to play-guide Janus around (“Because you’re a SLOWPOKE!”) grips tighter and tighter every metre closer to the bus that the two of them get, till it’s nearly bruising, the same colour of the whispering flowers down by the creek.

But they make it to the bus in time, and it’s good that Patton and Janus are holding onto each other so tightly, because of the swarm of kids piling in. Without that grip, they might not have been able to snag an empty seat to sit in together, right across a kid their age, sitting with his back ramrod-straight, wearing glasses and… going through this year’s textbooks? Nerd. But hey, Janus likes dissecting Shakespeare, so what can he say?

The bus starts going, from dirt paths in the residential area to a better built road as they all get closer to the main town, with the offices and shops and buildings and well, the school. Everyone looks a little exhausted, and some even look a bit excited, but nobody here is really memorable except for textbook-kid. Midway through the ride, as the view of the woods on everyone’s right starts thinning out a little, the witch who lives there waves, and her daughter, who’s apparently on top of the seats, in the luggage shelf (because buying buses from airports makes total sense), hangs upside-down, grinning wildly with her tangerine-colored hair falling out first, as she waves to her mother, still wearing her gathering-dress. She vanishes again soon after, lugging herself back up, but that’s no matter. She seems happier there anyway.

As the sun starts to rise in earnest, a lot of the night plants growing along the bus poles start shrinking away, letting the morning glories take centre stage for a while as the bus pulls over into the schoolyard, with the kids who took their bikes here already in their classrooms or on their way there, it’s a bit of a frenzy.

Janus takes a look at Patton, whose nerves that had been kept at bay for the moment while taking the scenery coming back in full force, and tries to smile for him. His brother deserves that much. Patton relaxes, and gives Janus’s hand one last squeeze before getting off the bus, and immediately hunting for his homeroom. 9-D, Janus thinks. He’s in 9-C himself. He sighs and trudges forward, seeing the witch’s daughter and glasses-guy enter the same classroom and hoping this doesn’t end like middle school.

…

Logan and Virgil Varma are in no way looking forward to school. Never have, really. Brings too much back about being too ‘weird’, or ‘scary’.

“Pssh, other kids are scarier” mumbles Virgil darkly under his breath while putting his bike away. He notices Logan behind him, fresh off the bus, putting his biology textbook in his bag (more like stuffing it, but Virgil isn’t about to say anything)

“Virgil, I do not think that you should say things like that when ‘other kids’ can hear you, especially if I could hear you-” Logan’s cut off by Virgil, who smirks.

“Three feet away, I know, L. But you have one thing nobody else does-”

“Superhuman hearing!” They finish off together, knowing this routine by heart and then some. Logan giggles, and Virgil automatically feels better than before for making that happen. His smirk turns into a bit more genuine of a smile as they finish the walk into homeroom together, in the same room for once, thank fuck. Virgil really needs to thank his Mom for pulling that off. She really pulled some strings for Logan to have a better year this time ‘round.

9-C. That’s his and Logan’s homeroom. When Virgil looks inside, he sees a… decently eccentric class lineup. There aren't many high schoolers in this place, so there’s only about ten people here. Hildi, who he’d hung out with in middle school, who waved at him enthusiastically, fiery hair flying about. It’s infectious, so Virgil smiles a bit back and waves too, albeit a little less excitedly. Well, there’s one person Virgil knows.

There’s a person just behind her who’s dressed up like a nineteen-twenties mobster, with the yellow-black aesthetic and cloak. He has a giant scar along the left side of his face which looks a bit like snake scales, so Virgil’s going to dub him ‘Snek Boy’ for now. There’s two people next to him, too. One looks like the ‘Chad from the horror movie’ archetype incarnate, and is flicking spitballs at the other kid in front of him, who smiles and passes him a stim toy. That person’s most likely an introvert, with all the pins on his stuff. Well then hello, fellow pintrovert.

Virgil inhales, knowing that he’s about to run out of time to stay at the doorway without looking weird, and takes the seat just behind Logan. Back row, no sun from the window. Logan turns back to face him, and Virgil does his best to smile reassuringly. He’s… relatively sure it worked, because Logan smiles as well, adjusts his glasses and turns back to face the front of the class, where the teacher enters. They look decently severe, tall, and wearing a tweed coat over a sweater vest, in extreme contrast to his dark skin tone. He puts his files down, cleans his glasses and turns up to face the class.

“Hello. My name is Corbin Robinson, and I’m your homeroom teacher for this year. I use he/him pronouns!” the severe expression tapers off into a bit of a smile as he finishes off his sentence. “Now, could all of you come up here and introduce yourselves? Preferably with your preferred name, pronouns and one fact about yourself that pertains to your personality!” he takes out a notepad, and steps to the side. Chad walks up and clears his throat after about ten awkward seconds.

“Uh, hi! My name’s Brian. Brian Cornwall. I use he/him pronouns. This is my boyfriend’s jacket! We’re wearing each other’s jackets for good luck today!” Ch-Brian finishes. He’s blushing furiously by the end of his statement, but the entire room (Virgil included) is clapping for him anyways, so he ducks down a bit to go back in his seat. Professor Corbin’s looking at Virgil now, and what is he gonna say what if he’s dumb and says something wrong and--

Hildi hops up to the front of the room, and Professor Corbin’s attention is on her for the moment. Thank god. She winks at him, and he smiles weakly back.

“Hi! I’m Hildi, the witch’s girl and I use she/her pronouns! Fun fact about me… uh, I once got to find out who’s hand the disembodied hand in plaza belonged to- Some guy called Andy from the thirties.” Hildi finishes with her hands crossed on her heart, the typical greeting that her coven uses. Virgil nods and crosses his hands as well.

Professor Corbin’s eyes wander around the class, to find whoever hasn’t spoken yet, and they land on Virgil. Since Hildi’s gone up, the eyes stay there. Virgil takes a steadying breath, and fiddles with a loose string on his hoodie.

“H-hi, I’m Virgil. Virgil… Sanders.” Great he’s already fucking this up why did he do this--

Okay, breathe. In two three four, hold two three four, out two three four five six seven eight.

“I use he/him and they/them pronouns, but I don’t really mind whatever you do end up using for me, and uh… fun fact about me?”

“I’m a twin, and my twin’s the coolest person on this planet.” he finishes, and tries his best to smile over the nerves. He feels good, though, praising his brother. Logan smiles, properly now, even as he burrows himself into his shirt best he can. Virgil smiles back, and makes his way back, trying to get his breathing back under control. It works, and he’s breathing just fine by the time Logan walks up, shoulders set.

“Hello,” he waves. “My name is Logan Ejiah Sanders, I use he/him pronouns and am Virgil’s twin. A fun fact about me is that I only use blue coloured stationery.” Logan finishes, clipped as ever. He’s careful with what he shares these days, and using solely blue stationary is something that can just be summed up as a personality quirk, instead of something wrong, the kinds of wrong that made teachers sigh and avert their gaze or puff irritably or what made him cannon fodder to other kids.

Logan’s nervous, and Virgil wishes that he could’ve done something sooner.

The introductions slip by after that, Janus, he/him, vitiligo scar, Nico Flores, they/faer, aspiring writer, because Virgil’s too floaty to care. Hildi passes him a floating earbud, and he takes it.

…

Roman really doesn't know what to expect from high school. In the stuff he reads and watches, it's portrayed as this ecosystem with really strict rules. His family calls it the most idyllic time of their lives. College students call it hell. So yeah, Roman's confused.

Remus is in a different class entirely this year, which isn't weird, so he doesn't know why he thought that? Stupid brain.

Roman was already in a shitty mood, having had to skip out on seconds of bacon because he'd already eaten too much this morning and might have to miss lunch later for club sign-ups, which is terrible. He's hoping that at least his class isn't too bad this year. Haley-Dove is a small town, but small doesn't always mean nice. He'd know.

(Roman can't get the words out of his head anymore.)

Both Mitchell and Croft were forced to change schools from Haley-Dove Secondary but what if there are new people?

Roman shakes the thoughts out of his head. School. First day. Homeroom. Class 9-D. This is doable. Just breathe, 4, 7, 8 and walk into the classroom. You can do it Roman, where's that confidence? Wait don’t answer that question just GO--

bump

“Hi! Sorry, I was so clumsy. Hey, I’m Patton!”

Roman first needs to decode that sentence before answering. Okay- Patton, sorry for bumping into Roman. Okay. Greeting, so greet back. Performance time, baby!

“No problem, Patton! I’m Roman!” Patton visibly cheers up in front of him, skirt swishing sideways a bit in the wind. Patton notices Roman looking at the skirt starts talking again.

“Uh.. he/him pronouns- but my gender is weird, yanno?” Roman did not know, but it seemed to matter to Patton, so he nodded and smiled a bit.

“Tis alright! I use he/him as well! Now, what homeroom address have you got, dear Patton? Let us make haste!” Patton giggled at Roman’s antics, meaning it was working. Good. Both of them fish into their pockets for a piece of paper they got at the entrance, unfolding it. Roman’s reads 9-D, as expected, along with Pattons’s.

“Hey- this means we’re in the same class! Woo-hoo! That means one new friend, huh kiddo?”

“Kiddo?”

“Sorry, I call my friends that.” Patton looks sheepish, as if he doesn’t expect Roman to react well.

“Oh no problem, dear Patton! I look forward to going through this year with you!” they both giggle, and Roman actually feels like they can be friends- Remus will be proud.

“Well, I am too! C’mon, let’s go- we’re already a bit late for homeroom.”

Roman looks at the clock- 8:02. They are officially two minutes late. Remus is probably in class already, if not just to pull a prank on the new homeroom teacher, meaning Roman had better get to class already.

“Yes! Onward! To academic achievement!”

…

The chemistry room is a little cold all of a sudden, and something has clearly woken up.

School’s in session, everyone. Hope you’re ready for this.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #ts janus #ts virgil #ts roman #tw bullying mention #tw foster care #series: room 73 #vee's writing #sanders shorts characters #ts emile #ts remy #prinxiety #loceit #intruality #tw food

[skeletonsloverockcandy]

A Hitchhiker’s Guide For Androids

Summary: Logan the Android goes to his interview with Dr. Picani. Afterwards he meets some familiar faces from the day before.

Warnings: Lying, food tw, eating tw, Logan tricks out his rad robot bod, and it seems like it might be gorey, but he’s a robot so it’s fine.

Fandom: Thomas Sanders, Sanders Sides, Cartoon Therapy, TS Shorts

Characters: Logan/Logic Sanders, Patton/Morality Sanders, Roman/Creativity “Princey” Sanders, Virgil/Anxiety Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani, Remy/Sleep Sanders.

Pairings: Background Romantic Remile, Platonic LAMP/CALM

Word Count: 8,370

Chapter One Chapter Two Ao3 Link

Chapter Three: New Neighbors

The next morning Logan put on his blue button up shirt and solid color tie. He was preparing for his interview later that morning with Dr. Emile Picani, and he wanted to look presentable. He was also up unreasonably early. In part because he didn’t need to sleep, but also because he wanted to avoid his neighbors for the time being. Due to his actions saving Patton yesterday, they were sure to want to speak with him, and he’d rather avoid messy, complicated, emotional interactions for now. He slipped out of the café before they had the chance to approach him yesterday, and he would prefer to delay that interaction while he still could. He was unsure if his circuits could handle more than one person at a time. 

The application he filled out had the phone number of the Cartoon Café on it, and he had taken the liberty to text the number and ask when his interview had been scheduled. Dr. Picani had quickly texted back and informed him of the time, but also that the café was closed that day because of the attempted robbery the day before, and that he would be there personally to check up on the shop. He informed Logan that he was more than welcome to come by and conduct his interview though, that it wouldn’t be a problem at all.

Logan took that as permission to prepare himself for their meeting. Then, since he had some time, he ran through several scenarios focused on the interview. He figured if the typical interview questions were asked, assuming this job required few prerequisite skills, and if he maintained a pleasant demeanor, he had a decent chance of landing the job. A 82.6% chance to be more precise, but since certain things relied on the unpredictability of human behavior, he was willing to put some leeway on the odds depending on what came up.

Finally, he looked through the peephole of his apartment and did a thermal scan to locate the heat signatures of his new neighbors. He wanted to be certain they were not in the hallway when he left for his interview. From what he could tell, Patton seemed to be in his apartment, and Virgil and Roman did not appear to be in the building, so the two of them likely went to their respective workplaces while Logan was getting dressed.

Satisfied that he would not be seen, he set off to leave his apartment building. It would be close, but if he walked at the right pace, he’d only be an hour early to his interview instead of much much earlier. He walked very fast. However, he hoped that showing up early would ensure a good impression. Logan would say first impression if it weren’t for yesterday, and now that he thought of it, he’d rather avoid the possibility of the emotions that might come with them being in close quarters. Well, Patton said Dr. Picani had a PhD, Logan trusted he would remain professional.

*

“Wow, it’s really you!” the pink and brown clad psychologist practically squealed. “You saved Patton’s life yesterday, I cannot tell you how grateful I am. I was going to find you to thank you yesterday after I checked on my husband, Remy, but I couldn’t find you anywhere. Then next thing I know Patton’s telling me you applied to work here! Whaaaaaaaaaat?! Like, what are the chances?”

“Actually quite high, given that was my intended reason to enter the establishment in the first place.” Logan interrupted, “And, deepest apologies, but would you mind relinquishing me from your embrace? I’m not a very, what is the phrase? Ah yes, ‘touchy-feely’ person.”

“Oh yeah, sure. Anything for our hero over here, ey!” Dr. Picani stepped back and stopped hugging Logan. “I just want you to know grateful I am that you saved the lives, not only of my employee, but of everyone else in the cafe, including my husband. I don’t know what I would have done if I had lost any of them, and I have you to thank.” Emile pushed up his glasses and smiled warmly at Logan.

Ugh! These were the exact kind of emotional reactions Logan had been trying to avoid! Not that he didn’t appreciate the recognition, it was just something he didn’t understand that well, and thus, was unfamiliar dealing with, especially when such affections were directed towards himself. He had barely walked in the pink and blue building with the bell chiming over the door when Dr. Picani had stepped out of the back room and immediately came up to embrace him. How did humans deal with this attention?

“Urm, well, you are, uh, very kind. But if I may interject, I came here to interview for the open position?” Logan stumbled out awkwardly. He wished he could have more tact, but this was becoming a bit too much.

“Oh! Yeah, let’s go on ahead to the back room, I’ve already read over your application so you can come right in here.” Dr. Picani responded jubilantly.

After the introductions, they conducted the interview mostly professionally, though Dr. Picani kept making pop culture and cartoon references that Logan only barely got because of his general knowledge of human culture. It went fairly smoothly though. The position required no prerequisite skills, and the skills it did require, Logan could easily be taught. It was a sort of catch-all position because of how short-staffed Dr. Picani and Patton were. They were the only two employees, though they were occasionally helped out by Dr. Picani’s husband, Remy, who Logan gathered was the hipster-esque person in sunglasses from yesterday, if the photos of him and Dr. Picani on the desk in the back room were anything to go by. The back room appeared to be more of an office than anything else, though it did have doors to the food storage and break rooms, so ‘back room’ was the most accurate description from what Logan could tell.

Anyway, for the job, Logan would need to learn how to man the register, cook up the items on the menu, and clean the store. It seemed simple enough, though the job would require him to occasionally step outside his comfort zone. He understood he would have to acquire a “customer service” demeanor, which he figured he could manage. He was already lying to people as it was, what’s a little more? The thing he was looking forward to most was taking inventory and counting the money at the end of the day, most people’s least favorite parts of customer service jobs. It would really give Logan the opportunity to show his prowess with numbers, and, regardless, it was easier than dealing with large swarms of people.

At the end of the interview, Dr. Picani told Logan he did an excellent job and that he’d be happy to see him by the next work day. The general dress code seemed to be just a polo shirt (of which Logan already owned) and a name tag, which Dr. Picani said he would have made for Logan shortly, that he was so happy to have a new member on the team, especially someone who saved Patton’s life. It occurred to Logan that that incident might have helped his prospects of getting the job, but he wasn’t one to complain about fortunate circumstances.

He shook Dr. Picani’s hand at the end of the interview, “Thank you, Dr. Picani, I look forward to working with you.”

“Oh please, call me Emile, it’s the least I could do to conduct this interview after yesterday. Thank you again, truly.” Emile said, unable to keep the bright smile off his face. Logan smiled softly in return as a sign of gratitude.

“Yesterday was no problem, I was just trying to help how I could.” Logan responded. “I’ll see you at work.”

“You sure will!” Emile said warmly, “You’re gonna do great.”

*

Logan’s journey back to his apartment was pleasant. The sun was out and the buildings looked even more charming than the day before. It was if the world was rejoicing his new found income security. Now with a job position guaranteed, Logan felt he had become truly independent and separated from his previous terms of existence. He could exist for himself now, and do with his abilities what he wanted. It was...refreshing. Quite a relief from the idiotic frustrations of the scientists. For once, he was perfectly happy to go slow and enjoy his walk home.

*

Walking up the stairs to his apartment, and feeling quite relaxed from how positive the day was turning, Logan failed to run a diagnostic the potential threat of his neighbors being home. And this was brought to his attention by him turning the corner on the stairwell and running straight into Patton.

“Oof!” Patton exclaimed as they collided, his glasses getting knocked off his face and items he was holding now being strewn on the floor (some papers, an envelope, and a ceramic mug with paw-prints that thankfully didn’t break).

“Oh! I’m so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going,” Patton said as he squinted at the floor. “...If I could just find my glasses,” he muttered, “then I’d be a real sight for sore eyes, because of my sore eye-sight, heyo!”. He laughed as he crouched to the ground searching for his glasses and the other dropped items. Logan stood incredibly still, torn between slipping up to his room while Patton couldn’t see his face, and bending down to help Patton with his things. It was a fight with his programming to evaluate the more pressing need. If he helped Patton, then the person he saved would know he was living in the same building as him. On the other hand, he desired to be helpful to humans, and Patton would likely discover his living situation eventually anyway. Deciding it was better to figuratively rip that band aid off sooner rather than later, Logan bent down and handed Patton his glasses from off the floor.

“Oh, thanks kiddo! Don’t know what I would have done if these had broken. Really sorry about running into- WOAH! Hey! It’s you!” Patton exclaimed as he placed his glasses on his face, beaming up at him. “What’re you doing here, Logan?”

“Ah, of course. Well, you should know that I live here now. I moved in yesterday, though I was unaware of the complex’s current inhabitants when I rented the apartment,” Logan explained in a monotonous tone, “I apologise for disrupting your stairway travel, I will get out of your way.”

“Woah, hey there kiddo. I wasn’t watching where I was going, so if anything, the blame is on me. And secondly, you live here now? My savior, in this apartment? Wow,” Patton said with an astonished half chuckle, “I can’t believe you live here! That’s awesome! Which apartment?”

“That would be apartment 4A on the fourth floor,” Logan answered. Patton gasped excitedly.

“Oh my goodness! That’s the same floor I live on! What a coincidence!” Oh, didn’t Logan know it. Patton inhaled sharply, “Do you know what this means?!” Logan resisted the urge to either roll his eyes or detail exactly what it did indeed mean in literal terms and settled for thinking: I can certainly guess.

“We’re Apartment Buddies! Yay!” Patton practically shouted as he jumped up excitedly, nearly knocking his glasses off yet again.

“Otherwise known as neighbors, I presume. But yes, we will be living on the same floor and in close proximity, though whether we become ‘buddies’ as you phrased it, will depend on the advancement of a mutual bond over time that some might call friendship. However, that has yet to be seen and will take time.” Logan rambled off.

As Logan was speaking, Patton slowly brought up his hands up in loose fists lightly squishing the sides of his face while his eyes squinted behind his glasses and seemed to sparkle with excitement in an almost universal ‘Aww’ gesture, before saying, “Dawww, Logan...Are you implying you want to be my friend?” One hand flew down to his chest and clutched his heart, “That is so sweet, aww..Logan. First you save my life, then you save my heart.”

Oh no, emotions, yet again, Logan thought. He just couldn’t seem to escape them today.

“You know what,” Patton continued, “Why don’t you come over to dinner tonight. It’ll be like a ‘thank you’ and a welcome party all rolled into one! And! I can introduce you to my best friends Virgil and Roman. They’re also our neighbors and they were at the café yesterday too!”

Oh I am all too familiar, Logan thought, and fantastic, more people expressing their emotions at me, this is utterly exhausting.

However, it would be incredibly rude to refuse a gesture of kindness such as this, and he would be living next to these people for who knew how long, so it was impractical to try to avoid interacting with them forever. Besides, this is what humans did. They interacted with other humans. How was Logan supposed to be a convincing human if he intentionally avoided interacting with them?

“That would be...lovely, Patton. I look forward to getting to know who I live next to. Though, I must tell you, I am not the best at dealing with multiple people. I...sometimes struggle to react appropriately to emotional...things, so I apologise in advance.” His only references for dealing with multiple people at once were the scientists after all, and they weren’t the best example despite his programming.

“Oh kiddo, that’s okay. Virgil and Roman are really great and super understanding of all sorts of things. And heck, yesterday, before we got home, Roman couldn’t stop talking about how impressed he was with your maneuvers and bravery. I even think he was a little starstruck, because he kept cursing himself for not saying anything to you after you pinned the guy on the floor. And while Virgil did say you were being a liiiiiittle bit stupid for putting yourself in danger, he did complement you on your quick thinking, and it’s tough for Virgil to complement strangers, so that really means something! I really think they’re grateful for you saving me kiddo, so I know they’ll be super nice about any sensitivities you have about being around them.”  Patton concluded.

“Well that is a relief to hear, Patton. I certainly do not want to leave a bad impression. I feel that would be unbecoming of a new neighbor, so it’s comforting to know I have your support.”

“Aw shucks Logan, after what you did for me, the least I can give is my support,” Patton said bashfully while adjusting his glasses.

“Ah, well in that case, I look forward to dinner. At what time would it be appropriate to come over?” Logan inquired.

“Oh! Well I’ll text Roman and Virgil and tell them we’re having a guest over for dinner, then..hmm, is five o’clock okay? I know they’ll both be home from work by then, so it’ll be the perfect time to introduce you,” Patton said thoughtfully.

“That sounds adequate, I will be at your apartment at five. Which apartment number is yours?”

“4C! And Roman’s is 4D and Virgil’s is 4B, just in case you wanted to know!” he said brightly, then he gasped, “I have to get everything ready!”

Logan looked on at him and determined that Patton’s heart rate spiked along with a touch of adrenaline being released into his veins as well as an influx in dopamine levels. He could tell Patton was genuinely excited about him coming over. Logan hoped it would go well given he had never actually eaten food before. It was within his capabilities to pass as a convincing human, but he had never done a trial run to see how he would actually react to having food in his false stomach. Could he even taste? He wasn’t sure. He escaped before they could troubleshoot that part of his programming. He knows that he’d be able to identify the exact components of whatever he was ingesting, but all he could assume he would be able to get out of eating food at his current level of advancement, would be the texture of it in his mouth, and the mess he’d to clean out of his chest cavity later. The thought of the uncleanliness made him internally cringe a bit, but he stayed in check on the outside, keeping his face impassive at his thoughts.

Patton was no longer paying much attention to him either way, instead mumbling excitedly under his breath all he would have to do to prepare while shuffling his picked-up items in his arms.

“Ah, uh, see you later Logan! Got to drop this paperwork off to Sandra, the landlady, then I have to prepare for guests! Ooooo this is going to be so fun! Buh-bye!” Patton said he stepped by Logan, turning to give him a half-wave with the hand holding the mug.

“Be careful going down the stairs, Patton. And I’m sure whatever you prepare will be adequate, see you then.” Logan called out as Patton turned the corner going down the stairs. He sighed to himself as he climbed the last few flights to his floor and entered apartment 4A. What had he gotten himself into?

Now, not only would he be interacting with multiple humans at once, he would also be expected to eat. He had never eaten before, not even in practice. He knew humans needed to do it to survive, but the thought of taking something and having to mash it into little slimy bits in his mouth, then swallow it? Not to mention, his experience with eating would be different than a normal human’s because he had to manually clean up whatever ended up in his false stomach tonight, and the experience couldn’t be made more enjoyable because he was pretty sure he didn’t have a sense of taste as of yet.

Wait, was he getting worked up? Is this what performance anxiety felt like? Regular lying was fine, but this felt like an entirely different ordeal. Snap out of it Logan! He was an android, he didn’t have feelings. So stop acting illogically and prepare for the dinner. He would get through it, further integrate and adapt to human customs, and survive. This was fine. Everything is fine.

Realizing he had just been standing in the entrance of his apartment while leaning against the closed door, Logan walked further into his apartment. This shouldn’t be bothering him. He was a highly advanced, incredibly valuable, and state of the art espionage machine, so something so trivial shouldn’t be bothering him. However, it was bothering him, and he couldn’t seem to get it to stop. So...he was a state of the art, highly advanced, incredibly valuable espionage machine, how could he change the situation so it was less bothersome to him so he could be at his optimum level of performance?

Well, the problem was his concern over the sensation of eating, and that it will be uncomfortable or disturbing to him. He would have to eat regardless, because he could not see a way out of that situation without being incredibly rude. So if he had to do it regardless, how could he make the instance more enjoyable, or at least bearable, to himself? The obvious answer would be to taste the food so he would at least get the same level of enjoyment out of it that the humans did, but that was unrealistic.

...Or was it?

Logan suddenly got an idea, and walked into the bathroom where he knew there was a mirror. Then he rolled up the sleeve on his left arm and peeled back some of the false skin again. Unlike his right arm that had a combination printer and data transferrer for forging necessary documentation and identification, his left arm had some minor tools and resources meant for repairs, as well as access to his wiring when feature updates and small performance tweaks needed to be done. Logan also rolled up his pant leg and opened the panel where his extension cord was, pulling it out and plugging it into the outlet by the sink so he would have a constant supply of power while he did this, should he accidentally make a mistake.

Then Logan reached with two fingers under his jawline and pressed three very particular spots while grasping one of the tools from his left arm, something slender and metal, and lightly pressing it to his temple. The next thing that occurred was a slight hissing noise of pressure being released as his jaw slowly popped open, causing as widening gap between the flesh of his lower face and upper face, revealing, besides his false teeth and cheeks and tongue, a mass of wiring and blinking lights now visible below the line of his top lip. Now with ample room, he slowly reached behind his jaw and grasped an exposed wire connected to his tongue, then reaching up with his tool, gently disconnecting it. He then lowered it to the wiring exposed on his left arm, and inserted it in a place where coding and tweaking that particular piece of hardware would be easier. Taste was simply the body analyzing different chemical compounds, something Logan could do via data analysis anyway, so changing some of his coding to associate a physical sensation along with that wasn’t too far of a reach, at least by his standards. Logan checked the time. Seven hours, seven hours until the dinner party. He would have to be quick, but it was doable. He’d better get to work.

*

At 4:48 P.M., Logan was finishing putting all of his parts back into place. His tongue felt strange and a little tingly, but he still didn’t know for sure if his tinkering had worked. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, sticking out his tongue and rolling it into a tube like a child might. Everything seemed to be functional and his motor skills seemed to be fine. He unplugged himself from the outlet, actually feeling somewhat rejuvenated from the extra power, and rolled down his pant leg. He assumed what he was wearing would be fine for the dinner, he would just brush some of the wrinkles out of his shirt sleeves and pants. He hoped tonight would go well, and even if his attempt to give himself the ability to taste did not work, it alleviated most of his anxieties and gave him something to do while he waited for the inevitable.

Looking over himself in the mirror one last time, he decided he looked suitable for however this dinner went. Checking the time, he had about 3 minutes until five o’clock, so it would be wise to head over to apartment 4C already.

*

Logan crossed the hall to Patton’s apartment and knocked on the door.

“Just a minute!” He heard from inside. He only had to wait a moment before the door was flung open and Patton was there grinning brightly up at him.

“Logan, you came! I’m so glad you made it. Virgil and Roman will be here in a sec, I haven’t told them it was you who was coming, only that we were entertaining a guest. They’re going to be so surprised! Come in! Come in!” Patton rambled off as he ushered Logan inside.

The walls of Patton’s apartment were a pleasant shade of light blue, though they could hardly be seen through the litany of photographs and crayon pictures both framed and taped to them. Apartment 4C was larger than 4A and had a small kitchen area that was visible from every angle of the main foyer. It had bar-style seating that separated it from the rest of the apartment and helped cement it in people’s minds as a separate space. The kitchen seemed well stocked for an apartment of its size, even if it was slightly larger than Logan’s, because it had an oven and stove-top combo, a dishwasher, a refrigerator, a toaster, and a countertop microwave. On the counter tops were several covered dishes wafting food-smells from underneath glass containers and aluminum foil, and in the sink were several gray, cat-themed silicone utensils covered in food stains—presumably what Patton had used to cook tonight’s dinner with.

Across from the kitchen area there was an L-shaped couch with the shorter side pushed against a wall and facing a small coffee table and T.V., both of which looked second hand but attributed to the cozy atmosphere. Next to the T.V. was a shelf stocked with DVD cases holding a variety of different shows and movies. And behind the couch and diagonal from the kitchen there was a round dining table already set out with plates, napkins, and silverware arranged in line with the four chairs about the table. And behind the table on the wall were two closed doors. One Logan assumed lead to the bedroom, and the other he assumed lead to the bathroom. Overall, it was a very friendly-looking, if a bit crowded, apartment.

“Welcome to my home! Make yourself comfortable, or should I say at home, wink,” Did he seriously just say ‘wink’ out loud? “And feel free to look at whatever you like! Me casa es su casa.” Patton said with an excited gesture, as if to point at the entire apartment.

“Thank you Patton, that is much appreciated. However, it does seem strange that you want me to ‘make myself at home’ when your home does not have adequate resources to make one such as me.” Patton stared at Logan for a second and blinked before his face split into a delighted grin.

“Oh my goodness Logan! You didn’t tell me you liked dad jokes?” he said with a half laugh.

“What? That wasn’t a joke, and I would hardly make a ‘dad joke’, as you called it, intentionally. I was simply bringing up the impracticality of trying to collect and then assemble all the components that make up my body in your apartment.” Perhaps if he conveyed a confused look his point would be understood. Patton held his mouth and tried to keep himself from snickering.

“Oh yeah, that would mean bringing a whole bunch of body parts here, but you don’t need me to ex-spleen it to you, get it?” Logan sighed deeply. Oh.

“What, you didn’t find that humerus?”

“Humorous? Oh goodness, do you mean the arm bone connected to the radius and ulna?”

“Sorry, am I getting ulna nerves? You might want to say ‘are ya kidney-ing me’. Ha ha!” Logan brought his hand up to his face and rubbed underneath his glasses.

“In fact Patton, the temptation right now is very strong to exclaim ‘are you kidding me’, but it’s fine. I would just prefer we kept the puns to a minimum, thank you.”

“Aw, sorry for teasing, Logan, but I start punning and I can’t stop punning, I was fed to the rules and I hit the ground running.” He laughed at the look Logan gave him before looking down more bashfully and slightly embarrassed, “But, uh, I’ll stop now. I do want to be a good host after all!” Logan adjusted his body language to express relief so his gratitude would be understood.

“I appreciate your considerate nature Patton, and thank you again for hosting me.”

“Aw, you’re welcome. Now you can sit down while I set the food out, Virgil and Roman should be here any second.” Patton said while grabbing a couple of the covered trays. “Roman likes to take his time getting ready and show up ‘fashionably late’, but Virgil is always anxious to be early, so with the two of them scrambling to get ready at a combined pace, they show up more or less on time.”

Logan pulled out a chair while he was listening and took a seat at the dining table.

“That’s very interesting, Patton.”

As if on cue, there was a knock at the door.

“Oh, that’ll be them now! Just a second guys!” Patton shouted as he put down the dishes he was holding on the table. He brushed off his hands on his pants and went to open the door.

Patton opened the door just enough for his head to poke through so that neither side could see beyond the doorway before speaking.

“Hey guys! So glad you showed up!”

“You know we wouldn’t miss your dinners for the world, Padre!” A dramatic voice proclaimed.

“Yeah, if Cinderella here didn’t spend so much time getting spend so much time getting ready.” A snide voice replied.

“Well if I had a fairy godmother, it wouldn’t take so long would it? We can’t all just ‘poof’ and look beautiful, it takes work to look this good!”

Patton interjected, “Kiddos, come on now. The important thing is that you’re here and we’re going to have a lovely dinner. And don’t forget! We have a guest! I think you’re really gonna be surprised.”

“Uh, yeah Pat, I’ve been meaning to ask you about that. You know I’m not the best with meeting new people,” the softer voice said.

“Hey, it’s okay Virge, our guest has told me he doesn’t have the best people skills either, so I think you two will get along just fine.” Patton replied with a sympathetic smile. “Now it’s time to introduce all of you! Oh I’m so excited!”

With that Patton opened the door fully to let in the other two residents on the fourth floor, at the same time revealing Logan to be their mystery guest.

“Roman and Virgil meet—”

“It’s you!” the man wearing a white leather jacket and red T-shirt said, while the man with dyed purple hair just stared wide-eyed, looking at Logan with a shocked expression.

Logan stood up from his chair and walked toward the doorway.

“Hello, I am Logan, it’s nice to meet you.” He was nothing if not one for decorum.

“You’re the nerd who saved Patton yesterday!” the one he assumed to be Roman said delightedly before he was sharply elbowed in the side by the one he assumed was Virgil.

“Ow! Hey! What was that for?”

Virgil glared at Roman for a second before addressing Logan, “Would you excuse us for a second?” and without waiting for a reply, he dragged Roman into the hallway.

Patton laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, “Sorry about that…”

“It’s quite alright Patton.”

As Logan said that, he turned up his sound sensitivity so he could hear what the other two were whispering in the hallway. He heard Roman speak first.

“What the heck, Dark and Gloomy? What was that for?”

“You dumbass, you saw what this guy did yesterday. He could beat the hell out of you! Not saying that he would but-. And the first thing you do to the guy who saved Pat is insult him!? He could fold you like a lawn chair, God you’re an idiot.” Virgil hissed under his breath. Roman made an offended scoffing sound.

“Hey! I- well, I- Ugh! I am not an idiot. He caught me by surprise! You have to admit he does look like a nerd though, just a bit?” There was another noise of Roman being elbowed in the gut. “Oof! Would you quit that?!”

“Maybe when you don’t try to piss off the guy who took down someone waving a knife in Patton’s face?” Virgil said, pushing the last words through his teeth. It was quiet for a moment before Roman spoke up again.

“...It was really amazing how he took that guy down. Gah! I wish I could have been of more use yesterday. He was just so swift and composed, I was shocked silent--which is a first for me!”

“You can say that again.”

“Anyway, the point is I am grateful he saved our little ball of sunshine in there. I just didn’t know what to say.”

“Well you can start by apologising and then...I don’t know, tell him how impressed you were with him or something. Look, I’m about as emotionally constipated as you are, so I’m not really great at advice on this.”

“Ugh! I will have you know I am great at expressing my emotions, I am an Actor after all.” Virgil sighed upon hearing this.

“Whatever, let’s just go back in there, and be nice, okay?” there was a rasp to his voice that made his suggestion more akin to a threat.

With that the door opened back up, Virgil being the first to speak.

“Sorry about this idiot, won’t happen again.” Roman shot Virgil a glare before speaking up and addressing Logan.

“My sincerest apologies, Logan, was it? I regret my rude behavior in calling you a nerd, (even though you kinda look like one), and would like to introduce myself. I am the one, the only, Roman Prince, at your service,” he said with a deep bow and a wink while Virgil facepalmed, “I hope you humbly accept my gratitude for saving our dearest Patton, without you he would surely be lost to us yet. Truly, your combat skills are unmatched, and you showed great valor and poise. It is an honor to be in your presence.” he finished with a dramatic flourish and a tinge of pride in his voice from his performance. Logan didn’t even need to run any scans on Roman’s vitals to tell he was being overly dramatic, no spike in heart rate could top that. Still, a first impression was a first impression, so he extended his hand to shake as a greeting.

“...You’re welcome...It’s nice to meet you. As I said previously, my name is Logan Smith, and I am the new resident of apartment 4A.” Logan spoke as he and Roman grasped hands and he gave a firm shake. However, at this point Virgil spoke up.

“Woah wait, you’re gonna be living here? On the same floor as us? Right next to me?” Virgil looked a little shaken for a moment.

“Yes..? Is there a problem? I’m not following.” Logan could tell he seemed on edge but he couldn’t tell why.

“No..It’s cool…” Virgil replied as the tiniest bit of blush crept on his face in embarrassment. Patton piped up.

“Don’t worry about it too much Logan, Virgil just takes time adjusting to change.” he glanced at Virgil as he spoke and gave him a sympathetic look. Virgil looked off to the side, cheeks growing even darker with blush.

“Yeah! Charlie Frown over here just doesn’t realise how frickin’ cool it’ll be to live next to a personal bodyguard, though,” Roman interjected, “he does already have a knight in shining armor protecting him from harm’s way (me of course), but I suppose I could learn a thing or two from Mister Jedi Master over here, what with the stunt you pulled yesterday.” Logan gave Roman a confused look.

“Bodyguard? My knowledge of self defense does not make me a bodyguard. But, I suppose I could teach you how I performed that maneuver yesterday at some point, as long as it didn’t harm anything.” Logan conceded with some trepidation, at the possible offer of spending more time with them, which was a risky move. And based on the shocked but delighted look on Roman’s face, apparently offering to teach self defence, in any small way, was the wrong move if he didn’t want more interaction.

“Also, why would Virgil even need a bodyguard? He seems perfectly capable of taking care of himself.” Logan decided to shift the topic back onto the other, much to Virgil’s chagrin if the spike in adrenaline was any indicator.

“...Can we please sit down and eat? I’m kinda hungry.” Virgil pulled up the hood of his patched hoodie and buried his face in it, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. Though Logan could see his face growing dark from embarrassment underneath the hood.

“Oh yeah guys! I made lasagna, with a little surprise for dessert, you’re going to love it!” Patton said, coming to Virgil’s rescue.

“Ooo! I love lasagna! You know just what to make Padre!” Roman exclaimed as he pulled out a chair and sat down at the dining table, Logan and Virgil soon following suit.

Patton leaned over the table where he sat down the dish earlier and removed the aluminum foil he had placed over the top. A burst of smell escaped its confinement and filled the apartment, steam coming off the cheese and sauce in whispy ribbons. He cut the meal into squares and put a piece on each of the four plates at the table.

Roman immediately began digging in despite Patton’s warning that it was hot, and as anticipated, he soon began fanning his mouth and saying, “Ah!hothothot!”, then ran over to the sink and filled a glass with water before downing it in a few gulps. Virgil smacked his hand into his face while saying “idiot”, but nonetheless could still be seen smiling under his hood at Roman’s shenanigans.

Logan picked up his fork and twirled it between his fingers for a second, a bit apprehensively, before plunging it into the corner of the lasagna, tearing a bit off of the stubborn pasta and cheese. Then, as naturally as he could muster, while everyone else was distracted and giggling about Roman’s mishap, he slipped the piece of food into his mouth, pulling back the fork clean.

The first thing he noted was the temperature, the lasagna being approximately 151*F, indeed a little too hot for comfort on the human tongue. He felt Roman should have been more cautious. The next thing was the texture, the cheese being stringy and slightly chewy, while the sauce was liquidy and a little chunky from the tomatoes, and finally the pasta was soft and a little stubbornly chewy. Logan felt apathetic to these textures, more focused on how thoroughly he was going to have to clean his mouth from the red sauce now coating his insides. Finally after a tingling sensation on his tongue that felt similar to numbing mouthwash, he experienced the taste.

It...was far more underwhelming than he expected. It didn’t taste bad, but he just didn’t experience a particularly strong way one way or the other. It tasted like food. Like the chemical compositions that made up cheese and sauce and pasta. Though it could be said that it was a miracle that he was able to experience taste at all, he did feel a bit proud of himself for that.

This analysis happened in a matter of seconds after taking his first bite and he chose to release a gentle ‘hmm’ to indicate to Patton he was enjoying the meal. It was polite after all.

A comfortable chatter started to buzz around the table as the other three settled into eating their meals. As Logan continued to take small bites, he noticed the three had a distinct chemistry. He wasn’t sure how this sentiment could be expressed except for the idea that they played off one another well. Each had something that added to the interactions of the others, and Logan found himself occasionally weighing in on the conversation whenever he was addressed, feeling like he added to that chemistry. The atmosphere began to loosen some and he could tell they were becoming less tense, Virgil especially. It seemed the more he talked and interacted with him at the table, the less awkward he seemed when addressing the others, even Logan.

Eventually, over the clatter of forks and light chewing, the conversation topic cycled onto himself.

“So, Logan,” Patton said with a soft cheesy grin, propping his face up with one arm, “tell us about yourself.” Logan cocked an eyebrow.

“What would you like to know?”

Roman cut in, “What brings you to Cardinal Valley? It’s not exactly a well-known locale.”

“Yeah, it’s basically No-where City, nothing happens here.” Virgil added, eyeing Logan a bit suspiciously now that he considered it.

“I disagree, it is far more populated than where I used to live.”

“Where did you used to live?” Patton asked, curious.

“The middle of nowhere.” Logan deadpanned.

“Ha ha, we made that joke already, Courage the Cowardly Dog.” Roman snided. Logan rolled his eyes.

“I don’t make jokes. I lived out in the woods, south of here.”

“Wow, all alone?” Patton said with sympathy in his eyes.

“That sounds like a crazy horror cabin scenario to me,” said Virgil, stabbing the remainder of his lasagna with his fork, “kinda metal though.”

“No, I didn’t live alone, it used to be my...parent’s house, I...don’t interact with them anymore,” Logan said, looking down and fiddling with his fork.

“Oh, I’m sorry kiddo, I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories,” Patton said with a frown and reached for Logan’s hand to console him, patting it gently where it rested on the table.

“That’s quite alright Patton, you didn’t mean to. And the past is the past, it does little good to dwell on it.”

“Oh, right.” Patton finished lamely, looking down. There was a bit of an awkward lull in the conversation before Roman perked up.

“Hey, Padre, you said there was something special after lasagna?”

“Oh yeah, kiddo, how silly of me, I almost forgot. Now who’s ready for desert?” Patton asked cheerfully, getting up from the table. There was a general consensus of agreement as Roman and Virgil said various “I am’s” excitedly while Logan just nodded slightly.

Patton went behind the kitchen area and opened the freezer, pulling out a large sealed container. Roman gasped before exclaiming, “Patton, does this mean what I think it means?”

Patton gave a singular nod at him before Roman squealed excitedly and bolted to the door. Logan gave a dumbfounded look to Patton and Virgil, confused as to what was going on. To his surprise, even Virgil was giving a mischievous smirk, flicking his eyes to the doorway that Roman left swung open and listening to the jostling and rustling that could be heard next door from Roman’s apartment. As this was happening Patton was unscrewing the lid of the container to reveal a tub full of ice cream.

“Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream! Bone-Apple-Teeth kiddos!”

Roman then rushed back into the room at that moment.

“Got it!” he said panting, a little out of breath, holding up a small jar.

“You know what to do Ro!”

Roman grinned, popping off the lid of the jar and sticking it in the microwave. None of this cleared up Logan’s confusion in any way whatsoever.

Patton pulled out a clean ice cream scoop and some bowls before delicately scooping out a portion for everyone. Meanwhile the microwave beeped signifying whatever was in the jar was done being heated. Roman pulled the jar out, then, taking a spoon, doled out generous helpings of what looked like liquefied, warm, strawberry jelly on top of each scoop.

“Crofter’s, the berry best jelly around!” Roman declared.

“Yeah, it’s my jam.” Virgil chimed in.

Logan groaned at the apparently infectious use of puns, but he had to admit that he was intrigued about all the fuss. Roman and Patton helped pass out the bowls and handed Virgil and Logan spoons to enjoy their ice cream with.

“Have you ever had Crofter’s jelly before Logan?” Roman asked.

“I don’t believe I have.” Before tonight he had never had any food in general, but he wasn’t going to mention that.

“Well you are going to love it. I convinced Patton and Virgil to try it a few years back, and now it’s our thing to basically top every desert with it any time we all have dinner together.”

Logan was skeptical about his potential ‘love’ for this fruit spread product given how disappointing the lasagna experience was, but again, politeness. And, at the very least, he was curious.

“Alright kiddos, dig in!” Patton announced, plunging his spoon into the ice cream and taking a bite, humming in pleasure when he pulled the spoon from his lips. Roman and Virgil followed suit, though Virgil was much quieter when eating than Roman, who kept making ‘Mmmm’ sounds a bit obnoxiously.

Logan spun his spoon between a couple of fingers before dipping it into the ice cream and jelly. Well, it can’t be any more disappointing than the lasagna he thought.

He brought the spoon up to his lips, placing it in his mouth and...and...it was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted. His eyes went wide in shock as the sweet chemicals washed over his now sensitized tongue. It was...it was...invigorating. He began taking more spoonfuls and putting them in his mouth. Who knew jelly could be so good?

Logan didn’t notice the others were staring at him. Patton was covering his mouth trying to keep himself from giggling, while Roman had a proud look about himself and kept glancing between Virgil and Patton while he ate. Virgil on the other hand kept looking down and pursing his lip to keep himself from smiling.

Logan didn’t look up until his spoon scraped the bottom of the bowl and the last of the ice cream and jelly was in his mouth. He sucked off the remainder of the jelly from the spoon and smacked his lips, only then realizing he was being watched.

Oh no, his lips were sticky and covered in jelly and vanilla ice cream, and there was some dribbling down his chin. He didn’t have any blood to cause a blush, but he did feel his face begin the heat. He put down the spoon and covered his mouth with his hand to hide the mess.

The three others were grinning at him with varying degrees of humor.

“Wow Specs, you had been kind of stiff all night, who knew you just needed some Crofter’s to loosen you up?”

Logan averted his gaze from Roman, instead choosing to stare at the woodgrain on the table.

“I apologise, that was berry- I mean very unprofessional of me.” What was wrong with him? Did the sugar cross some wires or something?

Patton gasped delightedly.

“Oh my goodness Logan, you punned! You did an almost-on-purpose dad joke!”

Logan felt like disconnecting his head from his body and burying it under a pile of rubble, but he settled for taking his napkin and wiping his mouth clean from the food stains.

“I did not pun, not on purpose, so it doesn’t count.”

“Oh, I think it counts,” Roman said.

“Anyway,” Logan cut him off, “you were right Roman, that fruit spread was enjoyable. ...More so than I expected, apparently. I might go so far as to say it was the best thing I have ever tasted, which would not be an exaggeration.”

Roman looked as if he had just gotten praise from Gordon Ramsey himself, before getting a slight jab in the arm from Virgil’s elbow.

“Don’t look so surprised Princey, everyone loves that stuff.”

Roman made an offended noise.

“Well, it was still a good idea on my part, and Logan seems to like it so I say that was a 100% success.” He stuck out his tongue to Virgil, and in response Virgil flicked him on the forehead.

“Ow! Hey! Have at ye, foul fiend!” Roman yelped as he grabbed his spoon and started making sword fighting gestures at Virgil, who grabbed his spoon as well, a smirk creeping onto his face.

“You’re on.” before inevitably,

“Kiddos,” Patton said giving them a look, “we do not fight at the dinner table, it’s rude!” Roman crossed his arms, muttering under his breath something that sounded suspiciously like ‘whatever dad’, before he and Virgil sheepishly put down their spoons. Logan spoke up.

“Well, Patton this dinner has been lovely. Thank you for having me. And you two,” he addressed Roman and Virgil, “It was wonderful to meet you officially, thank you for trying to make me feel welcome.”

“Woah, leaving so soon Specs?” Roman said. Virgil rolled his eyes.

“We live on the same floor as him now, we’ll probably see him all the time.”

Patton beamed at the compliment he’d been given and piped up,

“Aw, thanks Logan. I love getting to know new people, and I sure do hope I’ll be seeing more of you soon.”

“You will Patton. Before we ran into one another earlier, I had just gotten back from my interview with Dr. Picani, and he said I’d been accepted into the vacant position.”

“You got the job?!” Patton squealed excitedly, “That’s awesome Logan! That means we get to work together!” He jumped up and hugged Logan, who stiffened, but softly pat his now co-worker’s arm in gratitude.

“Congratulations man,” Virgil said, waving a small salute.

“Erm, yes, I got the job. I assume you’ll figuratively ‘show me the ropes’ (if that’s the correct phrase) on my first day?”

“‘Course Logan, anything! Just ask,” Patton answered with a smile, releasing Logan from their hug.

“I’ll be sure to take you up on that offer Patton,” he said looking him in the eye, before turning to all three of them.

“Farewell, I will see you all again soon.” Logan said, walking up to the door and opening it before turning slightly to administer a brief wave. Patton and Virgil waved back, Patton very enthusiastically. Roman, meanwhile, gave a deep bow as Logan opened the door and replied, “‘Till we meet again,” with a wink.

Logan rolled his eyes, smiling slightly, and closed the door, walking over to his apartment. He had a lot of cleaning to do on his insides, which would not be fun, but, he had to admit, the night had not been awful. It was actually pleasant, if somewhat entertaining. Logan was looking forward to recharging, though. It had been a long day. However, he was reassured by the fact that he might actually come to like his new neighbors after all.

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #a hitchhiker's guide for androids #ai logan au #ai logan #ts logan #ts roman #ts patton #ts virgil #ts remy sanders #ts sleep #ts emile #emile picani #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #skele writes #skele writing #raine writes #my writing #fanfic #fanfiction #ts fanfic #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #chapter 3 #new neighbors #ahgfa #Logan when he tries Crofter's for the 1st time

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

For @coconut-cluster

Emo Logan AU:

Logan Picani - An Emo who is doing bad at school on purpose, Emile is his dad and they don’t really get each other but that’s okay. oldest of four, Emile is a foster dad. Takes good care of Missy and Frank, fights a lot with Linda but they all love each other very much

Virgil Tempest - pastel ball of nerves who is getting straight a’s because if he doesn't his future is ruined, and his reliance on coffee to stay sane would worry his dad if his dad wasn’t Remy. youngest of three, his older brothers are seniors at the school, Seth is kind of a try hard but he's a good big brother, and Toby is the only person Virgil can truly be himself with

Patton Legrand - a nerd with way too many after school activities because being smart is lonely living in high school so he distracts himself from bullies and fake friends who only want help with homework by having a million hobbies, and who's loving parents Dot and Larry try to be supportive but not overbearing. He's an only child, adds to the feeling of isolation which isn’t great

Roman Sanders - Goth drama queen who is always suggesting the most tragic plays to put on in the school theatre, who sees beauty in the dark and gloomy and finds comfort in it

Remus Sanders - typical jock bully who just wants to go crazy go stupid, be feral and to hell with any of the consequences

their father Thomas is a very tired man for someone not yet in his 40's

Desiderio Torres - cheerleader bitch, the king of gossip and undisputed mean queen of high school, do not fuck with him. unless your name is Valerie Torres and you're his aunt who doesn't fall for any of his bullshit and though he acts annoyed he actually really respects her for it.

he and Remus are obviously a power couple and they use their power for good sometimes. they’re mostly chaotic neutral but they protect the ones they care about.

Ships:

Romantic: established fluffy Dukeceit, happily married Dorry, background slowburn Remile, speedrun enemies to lovers Prinxiety, pining dumbasses Logicality.

Platonic: brotherly Analogical, brotp Logince, best friends moxiety, wingman solidarity Royality, frenemies Anxceit.

#dee writes #sanders sides #sanders sides au #dee's aus #emo logan au #emo!logan #pastel! Virgil #nerd! patton #goth!roman #cheerleader! deceit #jock! Remus #punk! October #prep! September #prinxiety #logicality #dukeceit #remile

[royalprinceroman]

To The Poison Named Loneliness

Summary: Patton is about to start high school and he doesn't want to start it in the wrong body. Born as Patricia, Patton wants to change, but his strict mother wants nothing to do it. With the help of some family and friends, he'll get his chance to start fresh. High school is a challenge Patton wasn't sure he was ready for but together with his childhood friend, Virgil, and some new friends he meets along the way, he'll overcome anything in his way... even himself.

Pairings: Eventual Moceit, Eventual Sleepxiety, Romantic Logince (parents of Virgil), Background Romantic Remile, Childhood Best Friends Moxiety

Fic Warnings: All sides are in this story (all sympathetic), homophobia, transphobia, bullying, sickness, food mentions, blood, cursing, etc (This is for the fic as a whole)

Chapter One (You're here!) | Chapter Two ->

Read on AO3! | Like what I do? Buy me a coffee!

+++

Patton knew he couldn't stay here anymore. As he stared at his reflection, eyes narrowing down his wide chest and hourglass shape in this pink dress, he felt his chest compress in and out uncomfortably. Nothing would ever make this bearable.

"Patricia! What is taking you so long in there?!"

His mother's voice was shrill and frustrating. She would never understand. She refused to listen when Patton ever told her anything about how he felt. 

"I'm coming, mother."

Patton heard his mother huff on the other side of his bedroom door. 

"If you make us late for Alice's wedding, you will regret it." His mother threatened. She stomped away and down the stairs. 

Patton touched his reflection in the mirror and sighed. Time to go pretend again. Patton shook his head, plastered on the biggest smile he could, and slipped on his shoes as he left his barren bedroom.

×××

Patton stared out of the window of the car as it bounced down the country road. His cousin Alice was getting married to her fiancee Julia today. Patton was so happy for them. His mother on the other hand…

"I don't know why Alice dated all those men her life if she was just going to marry another woman." His mother said to his stepfather. 

The man shrugged. "Must be true love."

"Ha! That's hilarious. Julia just wants Alice's fortune, I'm sure. My sister left her daughter comfortable for life. Everyone has been wanting a piece of that pie." Patton's mother laughed.

Patton glared daggers into the back of his mom's head. Nobody more than you, you stuck up bitch.

"Patricia." 

Patton glanced up to meet eyes with his mother's in the rearview mirror, not moving his head. 

"Yes?"

"You better not screw this up for me. No mentioning of any of that nonsense you told me last night." She said, her voice laced with malicious intent. "You're my daughter. I raised you for the past fourteen years as such. Who knows what will happen if the rest of my family finds out I'm raising a tranny?" Patton clenched his dress in his left fist so hard his knuckles were white. "I will not be disowned because of your selfishness. You will love the body God gave you or so help me…"

"Martha, please let it go." Patton's stepfather interjected, cutting the tension.

"No, Chris. She needs to learn this tranny fad going around now is just that: a fad. Nothing more. It won't make you any cooler to pretend to be a boy." Martha said, slowing the vehicle and turning into a driveway.

Patton could see a large party set up in the distance. The huge field was full of people. One area full of chairs and the other full of tables and Patton could see one full of food too. His mother pulled the car to a rest next to a few others and she got out quickly, opening the side door next to Patton.

"Did I make myself clear, Patricia?" She asked, staring directly into his eyes. 

"Crystal." Patton agreed, stepping out of the vehicle past his mom.

"Good." Martha closed the door and walked towards the party alone. 

Patton took a deep breath. A few months ago, he would've cried. His heart would've been torn apart but his mother's words were so common they really didn't affect him much anymore. 

"I'm sorry, Pat." Chris came up behind him with his hands shoved in his dress jacket pockets. "I… I disagree with her but there's little I can do."

Patton shrugged. "It's alright."

Chris leaned over. "There's a change of clothes for you in the car." He whispered. 

Patton's head snapped to him with a big smile. "Really?"

"Yeah bud, I got you something from the store the other day. I think you'll like it." Chris winked as he walked away. 

Patton glanced around looking for his mom but she was long gone. He dashed to the back of the car and opened it to see a small bag from Macy's, the opening tied shut with a blue string. Snatching it up, Patton shut the car door and ran inside the nearby house. He had never much cared for parties and besides, Alice was probably inside and he really wanted to see her.

"Patricia!" a voice caught him mid walk upstairs. Looking down he saw his Uncle Dave, Alice's stepfather. "Come here and give your uncle a hug!" 

Patton did as he was told and hugged his Uncle. He was a nice man-- Patton knew that for sure. Dave had married Alice's mom shortly before the cancer returned and had been there for his wife all throughout the hospital stays. Patton remembered seeing him crying next to her in the hospital room, holding her hand and wishing he could just take all of her pain. He truly loved her.

"You look so adorable, Patty!" Uncle Dave said as he spun Patton around. Patton giggled. "Alice is upstairs so I assume that's where you were heading?"

"Yes sir." Patton said which resulted in Uncle Dave messing his hair up. "Hey-!"

"No need to be so formal, champ. Head on up and see her. She's missed you these past couple of months." Uncle Dave said. He winked and headed through the doorway towards the back side of the house.

Patton scurried up the stairs and heard more talking, realizing it was coming from the farthest room. He knocked gently and a voice called out, "Who is it?"

"It's… Patt-" he cleared his throat. He didn't know who was in this room. "It's Patricia."

The door flew open so quickly and before he realized it, he was swept into someone's arms, seeing nothing but white zooming around him. Once he regained his bearings he was pulled away from the person to see Alice staring right back at him with a huge grin on her face. Her makeup was half completed and her blonde hair was pulled up away from her face.

"Alice!" Patton cried out happily, hugging her again. He felt tears pricking at his eyes but he forced them back.

"Hey, Patton…" Alice whispered into his ear.

The dam broke.

Patton began sobbing into her shoulder and he tried his best not to get anything on the beautiful wedding dress. He heard Alice ask the other two women in the room to give them a little bit of time and they left. Alice pulled Patton away from her, wiping his tears.

"How's my favorite little cousin?" Alice said, more speaking about favorites than actually expecting an answer. "My most masculine, handsome cousin?" She said sincerely. 

Patton rubbed his eyes and sighed. "She told me no, Alice."

Alice's face when from calm to irritated in the blink of an eye. "Of course she did." Alice stood up and Patton swore he heard some expletives fall from her mouth but she shook her head. "Forget about her because I have a proposition for you, Patton!"

Patton stood up, clutching the bag in his hand. "Yeah?"

"My stepfather's nephew wasn't able to make it today due to another emergency. I need you to be the ring bearer!" Alice said with a smile.

Patton clasped his hands together. "Really?" He said surprised. "Um but I'm wearing a dress. Ring bearers don't wear dresses…"

Alice pulled at the bag in his hand. "Why don't you see what Chris packed for you?" She winked. 

Patton raised an eyebrow curiously before sitting the bag down and opening it. Inside was a neatly folded dry cleaned tux with a blue flower tagged on its pocket. Patton gasped as he picked it up, his jaw dropped.

"Why don't you go change?" Alice pointed to a door in the corner.

Patton quickly ran into the bathroom and the dress was off immediately. The tux fit perfectly and the shoes were so good, shiny too. Patton really liked looking at his reflection except…

He pulled at his long blonde hair and sighed. The tux hid his chest and wide hips but what could he do about the hair?

Alice knocked on the door and peeked in, gasping happily. "Aww, Patton! You look so cute!!"

Patton smiled but it was half hearted. "But… my hair…" he trailed off trying to hold it up like it didn't exist.

Alice giggled before turning to the door. "Maisie?" She called. A girl came into the room, holding a pair of scissors, a brush, and a razor. "This is my little cousin, Patton. He's needing a makeover."

"Dude! Going through a change? Let's do it!" Maisie said, grabbing a chair leaning up against a wall. "Whatcha want?"

Patton took a deep breath ignoring the screaming voice in his head that sounded an awful lot like his mother. "I want short hair. I want to look like a boy."

x x x

Taglist: @availe @vicdehart @sendingcookiesfromhell @lumina-universe @notveryglittery @changeling-ash @canvas-the-florist @mandeebobandee

#sanders sides #ts fanfic #ts fanfiction #moceit #sleepxiety #patton sanders #vigilantvirgil writes #to the poison named loneliness chapter one #ttpnl