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#qpp moceit
pencilpat · 2 days
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okay okay! first i wanted to say i love your art! it's so unique and cool!! also super soft when you do moceit and analogical 🥺🩵💛 💜💙 i think those are the characters i find perfect in your style, logan is just 💙✨ (/gen)
so! on the topic of moceit and analogical, maybe some headcanons you have for both pairings? :3 🩵💛 💜💙
Thank you, that's so sweet of you to say! I love every tag you leave on my art, and the whole system is glad you enjoy our work!
Moceit:
Patton has trouble with seeing the other sides as equals, tending to view himself as an authority figure. Not only was Janus the first to challenge this, he was the first to become an equal. Janus challenges a lot of Patton's preconceived ideals and it's good for him - Patton has been living by the morals of a child while also putting himself in a role of power over the others. Janus is needed in order to break apart that dynamic.
Janus and Patton really both love hanging out in the outdoors, and just being around each other and chatting quietly is their favourite way to spend time. Very old married men behaviour.
Janus isn't much of a cuddly person, but Patton very much is. Janus is willing to concede to bedtime cuddles and maybe 5 hugs a day, but no more, no less.
Janus rarely talks about himself and his emotions, he's not fond of the vulnerability that comes with sharing facts about yourself. However, Patton tells Janus everything about himself. To the point that Janus knows about his cold shoulders, even though Patton didn't even know why Janus likes Halloween best.
Patton crochets so many warm clothes for Janus to use during winter to keep him from getting all slow and foggy brained. Janus can become nearly catatonic if he gets extremely cold, and Patton tries to help him stay warm as possible to prevent it.
Analogical:
I LOVE queer romantic analogical!! They care for each other so greatly, even if it couldn't necessarily be defined as a 'relationship', and neither of them want a relationship anyways. (aroace kings)
Logan writes fanfic and Virgil lays against his back on the bed and just hangs out with him. He calls it "nerd stories" but he loves editing for him and proofreading his work (and he loves the opportunity to spend time with Logan and engage his interests and passions in general).
Logan really enjoys letting Virgil show him his music! He enjoys breaking down the beats and melodies logically and the excitement of discovering new things. Logan is an emo and goth music fan by proxy.
Both of them are a bit touch averse and not incredibly physically affectionate, so cuddling or even hugging is rare between them. They much prefer to parallel play beside each other, doing their own thing yet enjoying each other's company.
Virgil truly understands Logan's current struggle, being disregarded and pushed aside, having your opinions discredited and ignored. That's why he never gets mad at Logan for snapping or jumping to conclusions that people hate him. After all, Logan was the one that taught him about cognitive distortions. Virgil is pretty much the only person Logan will accept comfort from at this point.
That's all that is on my mind for now, I love both of these ships so deeply <3
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rosesisupposes · 3 years
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Objections, Your Honor
Two lawyers are across the aisle in open court once more. But today something is off, and no one is happy with the result.
read on ao3
characters: mainly Logan & Janus; background Virgil, Patton, Roman, Remus, Remy, and Emile
pairings: soulmate Loceit; QPP Analogical; QPP Moceit; romantic soulmate Royality; romantic soulmate Dukexiety; romantic soulmate Remile
content tags: non-traditional soulmate AU; courtroom drama; arophobia and acephobia; shameless self-pandering with legal arguments about the MCU; gushing about QPPs; couples therapy
reader tags: @royally-anxious @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby  @sparkly-rainbow-salt @astral-eclipse​ @thelowlysatsuma @adorably-angsty @max-is-tired @almostoveranalyzed @potestessemagishomosexualitatis  @mariniacipher @vintage-squid
word count: 10,386
The day it happened was no normal day for Logan. But not, of course, because of that.
He cared because it was a trial day. Months of motions back and forth, weeks and weeks of preparation, and today was oral arguments. He normally avoided open court, particularly against such an opponent, but nothing could be done.
His case files were impeccably arranged in his padfolio, his grocery list of arguments annotated in precise writing, blue ink dotting the page with emphases and connections, his notepad prepared at his left.
He glanced to his right out of the corner of his eye at his opposing counsel. He didn't want them to see him looking. But he sneered internally at the haphazard stacks of papers spreading across the table and the garish gold ink that looped and curved across sticky notes.
The judge finally came out, and Logan stood, crisply buttoning his tailored jacket as he did so. At the signal, he identified himself clearly. "Logan Finch for the appellant, Your Honor." 
And then, from his right: "Janus Alighieri for the appellee, Your Honor."
Logan rolled his eyes internally. Janus was, unfortunately, a very familiar foe at this point. But then, they were two of the most respected lawyers in their state, with opposing specialties and reputations for innovative tactics.
Logan was self-aware. He had another reputation, too: as a black-and-white thinker, unshakable, unalterable. He preferred to think of it as a particularly strong conviction. Versus "The Snake" against him, who coiled and twisted the facts of his cases to benefit his clients.
And of course, that was the issue today - Logan strove to show that his client had a straightforward, airtight argument that should clearly prevail, while Janus found miniscule details that he said should be enough to distinguish the case at hand and make it different from previous decisions, enough so to allow the case to be decided in his favor. He'd charmed the jury at trial, and now argued against Logan's appeal.
Logan prided himself on keeping a cool head, but listening to Janus' speech just got under his skin. His neat handwriting started to get messier and messier as he furiously scribbled notes of counterarguments and responses to his opponent's points. Then Janus turned slightly, just enough to see frustration's color burn in Logan's cheek, and he smirked.
Logan barely heard the gasp from the observers behind the bar, because he'd just snapped his pen in his grip.
He looked straight ahead, somewhere slightly to the left of the judge's head, but he saw very little, his furious thoughts too loud to allow any else to be processed. But the audience was murmuring and talking, far louder than any judge usually allowed - what was going on?
A clerk from behind him hurried up to the judge's dais and whispered urgently in her ear. Logan had yet to look around, but he was slowly coming back to himself, enough to be confused at this disruption in normal procedure. He refused to look over at Janus' probably-still-smirking face.
The judge cleared her throat. "Counselors, we will recess for the day. Please join me in my chambers now."
Logan frowned, but cleaned up the broken pen and gathered his file neatly back into his leather briefcase. He didn't look over, but he heard the flurry and crinkling of papers as Janus threw his notes into his own bag. Without glancing over, Logan followed the judge to the small office at the back of the courtroom.
"Mr. Finch, Mr. Alighieri. I do hope there's a good explanation for this breach in propriety, not to mention the code of conduct," she said sternly as they both stood before her heavy desk.
"Breach, Your Honor?" Janus asked. He sounded just as confused as Logan felt.
"As barred attorneys, you are expected to know the code as well as I," Judge Kasel said severely. "No soulmates may be involved in a trial together, except as co-counsel."
Logan's ears roared. "Your Honor, I apologize, I must have misheard. Soulmates? How is that relevant-"
"Mr. Finch, don't play dumb with me - the entire courtroom saw!"
"Saw what?" Janus asked. His voice was oddly distant and strained from its normal silky tones.
Judge Kasel stared at them in disbelief. "You mean to tell me you both managed to not see that? I'm quite certain the entire county saw the glow just now, through even the back of your suits!"
"Glow?" Logan asked. His chest was suddenly very, very empty, a vacuum of air or substance, and had he not been sitting he was sure he would have fainted.
"Yes, glow, both your marks on your shoulders. Given your mutual surprise, I will assume that this was indeed unknown, and will not declare this case a retroactive mistrial. But you will both need to send in replacements from your firms."
Janus spoke up, his voice tinny. "Replacements, Your Honor? I should think even in light of this- development, only one of us would need to withdraw-"
"Mr. Alighieri, while I appreciate your dedication, I will not delay this trial for the entirety of your bonding. I will give you both 3 days to propose counsel to take over, and scheduling will proceed with them."
Oh fuck. Bonding, Logan thought, unable to speak. That absolutely ridiculous expectation.
The clerk poked her head in. "If they need to speak privately, this side office is empty."
"Yes," Logan responded robotically. "Yes, I believe we need to speak."
They filed into the small room. The clerk closed the door behind her, whispering "Congratulations!" as she disappeared.
Janus sat in one of the chairs heavily. Logan remained standing, staring blankly at the bookshelves built into the wall.
"I can't believe this," Janus said finally. "We've known each other for years, how could we possibly be...?"
"Soulmarks frequently emit a barely visible glow from proximity alone, particularly when located on skin that is generally covered. Heightened emotion or situations with high levels of stress lead to brighter glows that were invisible or unnoticed previously," Logan recited dully.
"Oh yes, how could I forget, I'm talking to Encyclopedia Brown," Janus said, rolling his eyes. "Of course you've memorized that too." He unbuttoned his suit vest dexterously despite his trademark yellow gloves, slumping forward in his chair as he threw his vest over the arm carelessly.
"At least one of us actually has a factual basis for this event, rather than us both being in the dark," Logan snapped back.
"Yeah, your vast knowledge of facts really helped! Did your misguided quest to know everything somehow miss the detail of who's your fucking soulmate?" Janus said, nearly whisper-screaming.
Logan whirled to face him, a fiery reply already on his lips, when he suddenly saw a blue light showing through Janus' white shirt, bright enough to glint off the polished chair back and off the glass of the picture frames on the wall.
He closed his eyes, breathing out slowly. "Yes. That was a detail I had not learned. It felt trivial, unable to affect my work. But now that it has, we're better off resolving this."
Janus deflated too. "Yeah. We should. If we can just get through this part, at least we'll stop glowing like horny teenagers."
Logan focused on a tiny flag displayed on the desk as he spoke, not looking over. "I know of a very respectable landlord who rents bonding apartments in the city. Nothing overdone or kitschy, no 'honeymoon' suites, just furnished apartments for indefinite stays."
"Fine. Not like we can't afford it, whatever the price."
"I have some arrangements to make at home-" Logan began
"As do I, unless-"
"Unless what?"
Janus took a breath. "How would you feel about living with a snake?"
"I rather thought that was the entire idea," Logan replied coolly.
Janus shot him a withering glare. "I mean a python, you absolute cotton-headed ninnymuggin."
"Ah, my mistake," Logan said calmly. "That should be fine. A pet, I assume? Or your chosen co-counsel?"
"Let's get one thing straight, Finch," Janus said, rising to his full height, looking down at his infuriating opponent. "I don't like you. I don't expect or particularly want you to like me. We are going to be residing together up until, and only until, our illogical marks have decided in their weird cosmic energy to stop lighting up like neon signs whenever we experience strong emotion in each other's company. I fully expect to be pissed off the entire time, which will make figuring that out easier. But you do not get to speak to me that way, or I'll-"
Logan looked up to meet Janus' eyes. "Or you'll what, Alighieri?"
"I'll report you to the bar for breaking the code, and convince them you already knew," Janus replied smoothly. "And you of all people should know- I am very persuasive."
Logan's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. "Fine. And yes, you may bring your python. I'll be leaving my cat at home, however."
"Fine with me," Janus said curtly, deflating back into his normal slouch.
"I will send you the details of the landlord I mentioned. I can make the arrangements within the hour."
"Sure. Wait-"
"What?"
"How are you going to send me the details?"
Logan paused. Their only real contact over the years had been in person or by professional communications. He could hardly use a process server or subpoena to give Janus his key. "Ah. Right. Your contact information, then?" He pulled out his notepad.
Janus pulled out his gold pen and scribbled his phone number at an angle, entirely crossing the college-ruled lines. Logan cringed but took it.
"I will contact you shortly, then. And I will may sure to look for pet-friendly apartments."
Janus nodded. "Right."
"Right."
They both paused.
"Uh. See you soon, then," Janus said, and left the room abruptly.
Janus had to hand it to him - the apartment was all Logan had promised. Clean, sleek, and spacious. The landlord had even left a spare heat lamp, so Janus' sweet Monty would be comfortable.
Best of all, there were several separate rooms in the suite - two bed, two bath, and two offices.
The kitchen was also well-furnished, and came stocked with staple foods. Logan had arrived, however, with extra bags of groceries.
"I brought my own additions," he said. "The landlord is a friend, but he doesn't buy from the shops I prefer."
He proceeded to pull out several large jars of kimchi, what looked like at least a gallon of soy sauce, and various bright packages that Janus couldn't read.
Janus resolved to take pictures and look up what these things were later. Not while Logan was standing here, glaring up and over as if daring him to comment.
"I've picked the smaller bedroom," Janus informed the shorter man calmly. "Monty is set up in there, so if you're weird about snakes, just avoid it. Actually, feel free to avoid it anyway. I've got a brief to write."
Logan made a noncommittal sound in response.
Hours later, Janus emerged from his office to eat something. His brief was finished, sent off to his senior partner. He hadn’t yet told the firm about the day’s events- only that the appeal would need to be handled by another partner with his associates’ help, he needed to take emergency leave, and he would let them know soon how long he expected to be unavailable. H
e found evidence in the kitchen that Logan had prepared, eaten, and cleaned up dinner for himself.  That was fine by him. He made his own food, grabbed a bag of candy, and retreated back to his room.
The next morning, he woke up at his normal late time, stretching in the sun. The kitchen once again showed evidence of Logan's presence- particularly the currently-soaking coffee pot.
When the sun started to descend once more and Janus had yet to see his new roommate, he grumbled. Guess he'd have to be the fucking practical one.
He blew Monty a kiss for good luck and stumped down to the rooms Logan had claimed. He rapped on the door. "Finch. We need to talk."
He waited. There was silence, then a slow drag of a chair. The doors cracked open.
"Yes? What about?"
"No. We need to talk. Or, fuck, I don't know. Be in the same room occasionally."
Logan sighed deeply, and opened the door more. "Fine."
Janus went to the living room and sat on one side of the couch. Logan followed him and settled on the chair facing him.
"So." Janus began.
"So what," Logan replied flatly.
"Sew buttons," Janus replied automatically.
"What?"
"Just something one of my friends says," Janus muttered.
"Ah. So what was it you want to discuss?"
"I don't know!" Janus snapped. "But I'd really like to get back to my life, eventually, and that can only happen if we bond." His lip curled.
Logan sighed heavily. "And how, exactly, do you propose we do that?”
Janus fell silent. He had very few ideas. Pop culture made it very clear that bonding was an extremely romantic event. First kisses. Proposals. Or, in the less sappy movies, it seemed to consist purely of falling into bed together. None of which appealed in the least, particularly not with Logan.
Logan stared expectantly. "Nothing? You just pulled me out with no ideas?"
"If you're the fucking brilliant one, you come up with one then!" Janus spat out the suggestion with a glare, but then he saw it - a soft gold glow shining through Logan's tee, reflected in the tasteful mirror behind him.
They both deflated again, glows reducing down to hidden beneath their clothes. 
Logan adjusted his glasses. "I. Ah. Apologize. I realize you are attempting to resolve this issue."
"But you're right. I have no idea how to," Janus admitted.
Logan took off his glasses to rub his eyes. "Unfortunately, neither do I. Perhaps just coexisting will be enough."
"How long will that take, though?"
"I haven't the foggiest."
They lapsed into silence.
Finally, Janus suggested, "Maybe we can do our work in the same room. Set up in the dining room with all our stuff. Coexist but in proximity."
Logan glanced over. "That seems relatively painless. Let us make an attempt, then."
Logan had not had any particular expectations for how well they could share a work space.
And yet, it was still far worse than he'd expected.
Janus talked to himself. As he read, as he wrote, as he researched. Not loud, but a constant stream of soft muttering, disjointed words and full sentences. 
It was the most distracting thing Logan had ever been suffered to experience.
"Will you please be quiet," he said tightly, after an hour passed with no signs of letup. 
"What do you mean?" Janus asked.
"That infernal whispering, please, could you stop?"
Janus looked at him quizzically.
"You're talking under your breath," Logan said. He felt a headache coming on. 
"Oh, am I?" Janus asked. "Sorry. I'll be quiet."
It lasted all of half an hour, and then the muttering started again. "SCOTUS said yes but that was a city sidewalk, 2nd says no but that was Lincoln Center, hm, decoration, use, separation, intent?" 
"You're doing it again!"
Janus looked slightly guilty. "It's barely conscious, it's how I process things. Could you just wear headphones?"
"I need silence."
"Noise-canceling, then?"
"Fine. Do you own a pair?"
But the headphones didn't help. The sensation was too odd, of being closed-in, and he kept bumping then as he went to lean against his hand. Finally, Logan stood. "I'm going back to my office. This experiment has failed."
Janus' eyes narrowed. "Well, thanks for deigning to sit in my presence for a full three hours before giving up."
"I'm not giving up, this is just not tenable!" Logan insisted. 
"Well, you asked for ideas, and I came up with one. If it's not working for you, you come up with a better one. Come find me when you're done thinking, I know it could take you a while."
He stood and grabbed an apartment key, and stalked out to walk off his frustration.
As he walked, he called his best friend.
"Hey Pat, it's me."
"Jan! Hi buddy, how are you?!"
He sighed heavily. "I want to go home."
"But you only just got there?"
"Yeah, and it's going shi- I mean, badly. Really badly."
"I'm sure you'll work it out," Patton said confidently. "You're a brilliant and wonderful human, and anyone smart enough to argue against you will be able to see that!"
"Thanks, hun," Janus said. "The fact remains that I also don't like him."
Patton hummed tunelessly. "It doesn't have to be instant, Jan. These things usually take time."
"Unlike you and Ro."
"Well, yes, but that's because we were meant to be!" Patton soft, his voice taking on that soft, besotted tone it always did when he talked about his soulmate.
"Isn't the whole point that all soulmates are meant to be?"
"Well, yes..." Patton faltered. "But it doesn't have to look like us, we're just hopeless romantics!"
"I know. How's wedding planning going?"
"We started watching movies for inspiration and got distracted with a Disney marathon," Patton said fondly. 
"But you had fun?"
"Absolutely!"
"Good," Janus said, meaning it. There were very few people, in his opinion, who deserved happiness the way Patton did.
He was quiet for a moment, then asked, "Pat- what if it was a mistake? What if we just have defective marks or something?"
"I'm sure that's not true!" Patton insisted.
"It just seems like - I mean, we're not even friends. Most people get to start from strangers at worst, but we've been antagonizing each other for years, what if, I don't know. Neither of us had a soulmate and so they glitched out?"
"You just need to find some common ground," Patton said confidently. "You can't both be so passionate about being lawyers without something more in common. I believe in you, buddy!"
Janus sighed. "Thanks, Pat. Say hi to Roman for me, tell him Monty misses him."
"Will do, nephew! Call any time you need, okay?"
"Love you, Pat."
"Love you tooooo!"
Janus realized he'd circled the block and was back at the apartment entrance. He steeled himself, then went back up. He repressed the petty urge to bang open the door to disturb Logan's quiet as much as possible.
Logan wasn't in the common spaces, but emerged not long after Janus returned.
"I feel I must apologize," he began. "It wasn't my intent to denigrate how you work. It is just clear that sharing a workspace is not going to be preferable for either of us."
"Yes, I'm aware I had a bad idea," Janus said, overly patient. "Kind of an odd apology, but I accept. Can I have lunch now?"
"Yes, of course. May I join you?" Logan asked.
Janus raised a distrusting brow.
"The idea of spending time in the same space was a good one. I thought we might try a context in which we don't need to focus."
"Fine."
They prepared food around each other, both managing to bite their tongues when they needed the same counter space or cooking implements, which Janus was proud of himself for. They ate in silence.
Janus heard Logan sigh in exasperation and braced himself for yet another snippy comment. Instead, he heard an unexpected question.
"Do you enjoy superheroes?"
"To eat? No, they upset my stomach," Janus replied drily.
"I mean to watch. Superhero movies and shows."
"Occasionally, yeah, why?"
"Perhaps we could watch one this evening. At the same time."
"Sure."
And they parted to continue working on their own.
Logan had been correct that, as far as superhero movies went, the MCU was a safe choice.
In retrospect, though, perhaps Civil War had been... less so.
It had started when Steve first objected to the Sokovia Accord plan- and Logan had scoffed.
Quick as a cat’s pounce, or an adder’s strike, Janus’ head whipped around. 
“You disagree?”
Logan glanced over briefly, screen light blinking off his glasses. “Well, of course. Didn’t New York and Sokovia show that some control is needed? Lawlessness leads to more civilian casualties.”
“And yet, if supers are controlled so much that risk of liability keeps them from acting at all, casualties would be just a tad higher, don’t you think?”
Tony and Steve’s voices raised on the screen as Logan replied, “What would the difference be of the villains and heroes if they all act with complete impunity?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, did we lose mens rea when we switched over into Marvel-land?” Janus asked, voice clipped. “Isn’t the entire basis of our modern penal system based on culpability, not just the act or harm done?”
Logan looked down his nose. “Of course culpability matters. But you well know that one of the factors for absolute liability is when an act is inherently and extremely dangerous. Say, for instance, displays of superhuman force in a densely populated area.”
“So you don’t think there can be any space for personal judgment on the heroes’ behalf?” Janus asked incredulously.
“Look what that space did already! Does the name Ultron ring a bell?”
“So of course, the one who made a terrible call is the one who now wants to be restricted? That sounds like asking for the global government to save him from himself instead of taking responsibility.”
“Better that those with actual accountability be the ones bearing the responsibility!”
“Oh, yeah, and we can definitely trust this government’s judgment! A Hydra infestation was all part of the plan!” Janus’ voice was raising, far louder than the movie that still flickered on, ignored.
“There still needs to be rule of law! Steve wants to abandon it all for one person, and a war criminal at that-!”
“And that’s incomprehensible?”
“Of course!”
Janus fixed his supposed soulmate with a glare. “And you mean to tell me that there’s no one, no one, that you would be willing to burn the world down for?”
Logan opened his mouth to respond, but Janus continued quickly before he could. “No one who won’t fight for themselves, because they think they’re not worth it, but you know they’re so worth it that you would be willing to kill for them?”
Logan, about to spit out an impulsive reply, paused, momentarily speechless. As clearly as if they were sitting on the edge of the couch next to him, his best friend from childhood filled his mind. Virgil, who never believed their worth no matter how many times Logan and their soulmate Remus told them so.
Janus saw the pause and continued softly. “I’m not saying rule of law isn’t important. But the trouble with laws is they’re only as tailored as legislators make them. And they’re human, and therefore fallible. We need exceptions, for those situations that they didn’t imagine.”
Logan struggled for moment, then replied, just as quietly, “You’re right.”
Janus’ mouth fell open in shock, but just as he did, the tv’s faint blue glow throughout the room was washed over with two beacons in blue and gold, blazing from their backs.
At the sight, Logan’s face went from contemplative and open to stony. He stood abruptly and stalked off into his room. The door closed behind him with a decisive click, and Janus was left staring at the wood in confusion and anger.
“I just don’t get it!” Janus whisper-screamed into the phone. He was power walking through a nearby park, moving so fast he’d passed a skateboarder and a particularly leisurely biker. “Does he want to keep on glowing forever? What is his problem?!”
Patton made sympathetic noises in response, quite familiar with the sound of Janus in full rant mode. Roman was lying with his head in his lap, listening on speaker, so Patton was settled in to be as receptive to his friend’s complaints as he needed.
“I mean, we finally agreed on something, besides the fact that we want to get this fucking resolved, and then he just, what, shuts me out? Literally and figuratively? I literally can’t even catch him leaving to the kitchen for food now!”
Patton winced. “Not since? But it’s been two days!”
“Two and a half, yeah,” Janus replied. His voice suddenly sounded weary. “I can’t keep doing this. The trial’s going on without us anyway, I might as well just give it up and make sure I never have to argue against him again.”
At that, Roman sat bolt upright. “Janus, my dear esquire! You cannot abandon your quest! This is your soulmate!”
“Yeah, well. Maybe some soulmarks are broken. Or we just met at the wrong time. Maybe if we’d met in law school we would have been a team, but now it’s too late.”
Janus sounded contemptuous, but Patton could hear a distinct note of regret.
“Maybe...” he started, but trailed off, thinking.
“Maybe what, Pat?”
“Well, it’s just that I’ve heard of soulmates who, you know, take an abnormally long time to bond, or manage to un-bond after years together, but they can fix it. Do you remember my old roommate?”
Janus wrinkled his nose. “Patton, are you suggesting couple’s therapy? I’m fairly certain that only applies to couples.”
“Well, you’ve kinda been forced to be one, right? At least to figure out bonding? They could probably help, or at least let you know if it’s not worth the effort.”
Janus sighed. “No, you’re right, it’s a good idea. I just have no idea how I’ll get Finch to go along with it.”
“Might I make a suggestion?” Roman asked politely. 
“Sure.”
“Perhaps try calling him ‘Logan.’”
Janus rolled his eyes. “Worth a shot, I guess. Love you both.”
“Love you Jan!”
“Best of luck with the love of your soul!”
 Back in the apartment, Logan was pacing in precise squares in his bedroom. He half-expected the rug to be worn down by the repeated impact at this point. 
“L, I don’t know what to tell you, buddy,” the gravely voice on the phone said. “You really have only two options here: find a way to avoid him forever, which will probably involve having to turn down cases you’d like-“
“I bet he’d stay on them just to force me off,” Logan interrupted, growling. 
“That is a possibility,” Virgil replied, their voice overly patient. “The other option, though, is to work this out,” they continued. 
Logan scoffed.
“Lo, that doesn’t mean you’ve gotta turn into a Hallmark movie! But it’s clear this isn’t just going away, and it’s not like you’ve got nothing in common.”
Logan groaned. “Virge, I don’t-“
“I know, man. I know. But you can’t just hide in your room until he just decides to move out, which means you’re gonna have to talk to him at some point.”
Logan didn’t reply, just continued pacing. 
“You know I’m right, Lo,” Virgil said patiently. “You don’t have to say it, just promise me you’re not going to keep being a hermit, okay?”
Logan sighed. “I promise.”
“There we go. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
About to hang up, Logan heard a voice in the background and Virgil asked him to wait.  Then, “Reme wants to say hi.”
Logan let out an exasperated sigh, but he was smiling. “Fine, I’ll allow it-“
“Loooogggyyyyy! How’s the soulmate boning going? Have you figured out that you’re a power bottom yet?”
“Hello, Remus. I take it you’re well.”
“Let’s just say I’m glad you’re my brother-in-law because I may have some need for a lawyer soon.”
Logan couldn’t conceal the grin from his voice as he replied, “As I know you know, I am not a defense attorney, nor would I ever be so unwise as to take you as a client.”
“Aww, you’re such a smart cookie! And by cookie I mean a snack, because mmmm-MMMm you’re a snacc!”
“Always glad to know I’m appreciated,” Logan replied drily. “Goodbye, Virgil. Goodbye, Remus.”
“See ya, L.”
“Byeeeeeeeeeee!”
When Janus returned, he was a bit taken aback to see Logan sitting in an armchair, reading. At the sound of the door, he looked up. 
“Ah, Alighieri. I- I wanted to apologize for my behavior.”
Janus paused. It was a good sign, but still so unexpected as to be unsettling.
Logan cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t have left you in a lurch. You did not cause this situation anymore than did I, and you have not been unkind. I have a suggestion for how we might move forward.”
Janus winced internally, thinking of another disastrous attempt at a movie or workspace. “I actually had a thought on that as well, but um. What was yours?”
Logan cleared his throat again. “Well, since we have been... brought into this situation together, but as a pair are struggling to adjust, it seems logical to consult with an expert, much as we would in our work. Therefore, we should consult a professional on personal relationships.”
“Oh, thank god,” muttered Janus. “Yeah, I was gonna suggest a couples counselor too. I think that would make sense. And I actually have a personal reference to a very experienced therapist.”
That settled, they found the earliest possible appointment, only two days later. 
“I do need to warn you-“ Janus said as they walked up to the office. It was their first time out of the apartment together, and it had been a very quiet walk over. “The methods of this therapist are- unorthodox. But they are highly acclaimed in their field.”
“Oh, are they an enby?” Logan asked. 
“Yes and no,” Janus replied. “You see, there’s two of them.”
“Two?”
“Yeah, they’re a couple therapist that is also a couple.”
“I don’t- well- I mean, that’s odd, right?”
Janus grinned. “Yeah, odd is a common word to describe them. But they’re highly praised and like I said, they were recommended personally.”
“Right,” Logan said, squaring his shoulders. “An open mind is helpful for effective therapy, after all.”
“That’s the spirit! I think,” Janus replied, holding the door open.
A gothy receptionist showed them to a private room with a comfortably large couch. Logan looked around in trepidation and slight alarm at the decorations. There were countless Funko-Pops, posters, stuffed animals, and an alarmingly high number of travel mugs from what looked like every single cartoon that had ever existed.
Janus was slightly more prepared then Logan, but he still jumped out of his skin by the sudden singing coming around the door. A deep voice was booming, “Duhhh duh-duh-duh-duh-da-DUH!” in a building crescendo that went on and on, until both lawyers were staring in a mixture of confusion and irritation.
Then a tall, lanky man slid in the door and lowered his glasses to wink at them both. “Hey babes. Welcome to therapy.” 
The singer followed him through the door, their bright pink hair a sharp contrast to their warm brown skin. “And thank you as always for the intro, honey!”
They smiled, big and toothy. “Welcome indeed! I’m Dr. Emile Picani, pronouns they/them, and this tall drink of coffee is my partner, Dr. Remy Picani, pronouns he/him! And you are Janus and Logan, correct?”
Logan looked a bit stunned still, so Janus took the lead. “Yes, I’m Janus Alighieri and this is Logan Finch, pronouns he/him for both. And I was referred by Patton Corwan-Augustus.” 
Emile smiled even bigger, if that were possible. “Oh Patty! Best roommate ever, I still miss his brownies. It’s lovely to meet you both!”
“Best roommate? What am I, chopped liver?” Remy asked, hand pressed to his chest. 
“Best friend, best coffee-maker, best of men and best of husbands,” Emile replied, and said husband immediately blushed.
Logan coughed politely. “Have you been married long?”
Remy smiled, still pink around the edges. “We’ve actually been married almost 10 years. The minute we graduated university, actually, when we knew our parents had not a shred left of financial control. We went through our PhDs together, which is why, of course, we’re qualified to help out other couples, because let me tell you, would not recommend.”
“Which brings us, of course, to you two!” Emile said brightly. “What is your goal in coming to therapy?”
Janus and Logan both began speaking at once.
“Well, it started in court-“
“It was completely unexpected, we’ve known each other for years-“
“-dreadfully embarrassing, not to mention the professional ramifications-“
“-it just feels like something’s missing-“
“-really want to just sort this out-“
“-just want to figure out the disconnect-“
“-and we can forget about the whole thing.”
“-want to make this work.”
They looked at each other, shocked, as their words both sank in.
Emile was tapping their Powerpuff Girls pencil topper steadily against their lips, eyes wide behind their pink-framed glasses. 
Remy, at their side, leaned back and took a long, loud slurp of his iced coffee, rattling the ice around until the room’s attention was on him. Then he looked up and said, “Hoooo-wheee.”
“So I’m getting a lot of differing goals here,” Emile said delicately. “Let’s start with you, Janus. Can you expand, please?”
Janus tried to speak, but felt like his voice had dropped into the cold pit that was suddenly his stomach. “I, um,” he started with a shaky breath. He barely noticed when Remy pushed a cup of ice water into his hand, but a sip steadied him somewhat.
“You can look just at me, if that helps,” Emile said softly. “Or at my buddy Kaa here.” They gestured to the stuffed snake on the shelf behind them. 
He looked like a fuzzy little Monty. That would do. 
“Thank you, Doctor,” Janus said, acknowledging the water from Remy. “So. We’ve been rival lawyers for years, because we’re both the best at what we do. It was shocking, to suddenly be glowing in open court, but I thought we just needed to find common ground that’s not arguing. That’s why I’m here, at least.”
“And Logan?” Emile asked, still in that kind voice. Logan wouldn’t meet their eyes, though, or anyone’s.
“I thought- we both seemed so upset by the news. Or at least, I was, and perceived you to be as well.” He didn’t look up as he addressed Janus, but his eyes shifted over and took root on Janus’ polished loafers. “My plan was to spend whatever time was needed to stop glowing, then get back to our respective lives.”
“Do either of you have a question you’d like to ask of one another?” Remy asked. “It can be as large or small scale as you’d like, serious or frivolous.”
Both men looked up at the lanky therapist, who’d actually removed his dark glasses, revealing slightly foggy-looking irises. “Logan, it looks like you have one.”
“Oh- yes. So, Alighieri- I mean, Janus. To be clear- you were not upset by the news?”
Janus took a breath. “I mean, I was shocked, and upset to be removed in the middle of a case. But not about the soulmate thing, specifically. And I have a question too?” He looked to the therapists, who both nodded.
Janus looked over, and saw the Logan was watching him in his periphery. “When you say you were upset about the news- was it about the soulmate thing, or about me as your soulmate?”
Logan actually sat up, looking shocked. “Oh, goodness gracious. Absolutely about the concept of ‘soulmate’ in general, not personal in any way. Did I-?”
“Well, yeah, a bit,” Janus said.
“I am- I am so sorry. I would have absolutely have been equally upset, no matter who I found to be an accidental soulmate.”
Janus felt his stomach unclench just a bit.
“Logan, what about soulmates in general upsets you?” Emile asked.
Logan’s mouth pressed into a thin line, and he stayed silent for a moment, then two. Finally, he said curtly, “I never asked for one. And no one asked if I wanted one, either.”
“No one asked if I wanted to be trans, and yet here I am,” Emile said with a cheeky grin. “We don’t always get a say over the circumstances of our birth.”
“But Emmy, you’ve found self-acceptance and happiness deriving from coming out,” Remy put in. “Logan, were you content with life before this reveal?”
Logan nodded. 
“So there was no sense of dysphoria prior, or absence of a euphoria that was gained since.” 
Again, Logan nodded.
“Couldn’t-“ Janus began. His throat felt a bit stuck. “Couldn’t there be something to be gained, though?”
Logan picked up a small figurine of Dexter from the table next to the couch, and fiddled with it in his lap as he spoke. “It’s not impossible, there could certainly be gains from a better acquaintance with you. But that’s not what a soulmate is supposed to be, is it? They’re supposed to complete you,” he said, his voice dripping in disdain. “Because you were incomplete before. Because you weren’t enough, alone, you were just waiting for the One. And of course, you can’t be trusted to find them yourself, some cosmic force determines it for you.”
Remy rested his hand in his hand, elbow propped on his knee. “Spill it, sis.”
Logan stared in confusion. 
Remy smiled. “It means, approximately, ‘continue, you’ve got something good to say’. I’m getting a lot here- but a lot of the frustration seems to be with the idea that forces you can’t control are messing with your life, is that fair?”
Logan shifted. “Well, yeah, but that makes me sound like a control freak.”
“Not at all,” Janus interrupted. “Of course you don’t want something incomprehensible to make decisions for you. That’s not controlling, that’s perfectly understandable and human!”
Logan managed a small smile in response.
Emile beamed. “I couldn’t have said it better myself!”
“But I am def gonna poke some holes in your thought bubble,” Remy said cheerfully. “Starting with this: what do you mean when you say a soulmate is intended to be The One?”
Logan stared in disbelief. “Come on. Really? Look at, I don’t know, any piece of media ever. Or at you two. Or at my- friend and his husband. Or any other pair of soulmates!”
Janus added, “I mean, that’s what’s intended, right? With the whole ‘marked from birth’ thing?”
Emile looked at them both very seriously. “Did you know that Remy isn’t The One for me?”
“But he’s your soulmate?” Janus gasped out.
Emile nodded gravely. “He is my soulmate. But he is not my only soulmate.”
“I was designated female at birth to very traditional parents. They wanted me to marry my soulmate at 18, like they had, and they assumed he’d be a man. But my other soulmate was a girl, and I loved her with all my heart. And when I realized I wasn’t a girl, I thought my parents might accept us more. I was wrong.” They took a breath. “We were separated. I don’t know what happened to her. But it was enough to know that my parents didn’t care about my happiness, soulmate or no.”
“I’m so sorry,” Logan said quietly, and Janus nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat. 
“I was lucky, though,” they continued. “I found Remy only two years later. And he accepted me as I am, both my gender and my other soulmate. And the cartoons, of course.”
“I never got to meet her,” Remy said. “So we will never know if she was my soulmate, too. I choose to believe she wasn’t. I think she could have been Emile’s one and only, had they been able to stay together. And that doesn’t make me feel any less lucky to be Emile’s husband, nor any less loved by them.”
“And not to shock you even more, but not all soulmates are romantic,” Emile said. “I know that’s the media portrayal- but well, the media is also pretty straight. And cis. And white. And neurotypical. And-”
“What they’re getting at,” Remy interrupted, “is that common portrayals miss a lot of the variety and complexity of humanity as a whole, let alone the complexity of relationships.”
Logan was sitting very still, and not speaking. Janus was trying to wrap his mind around this, and spoke with uncharacteristic uncertainty as he asked, “So- for instance, um, you could have soulmates who are, uh, queerplatonic partners?”
Logan’s head snapped up, staring at Janus with wide eyes.
Remy grinned. “Yes, of course! I was worried I was going to have to do a vocab lesson, but you both seem to know what that is.”
“But-“ Janus began, brows furrowing.
“But that means-“ Logan muttered to himself.
“Why isn’t he my soulmate?” Janus asked, at the same time Logan asked, “Why aren’t they my soulmate?”
Lit by the twin glows reflecting against the wall, the therapist couple exchanged a pregnant look. Emile reached out and took a hand of each patient. “I know this is a lot to process, but I really want you to keep something in mind: a soulmate is not the only way we can love someone. It’s not the ‘best’ way or only valid way to love someone. The same way the platonic love you clearly both hold for a significant person in your life is no less valid than romantic.”
Remy sat up straight. “I want you both to think about this when you go home. Your love for your QPPs is wonderful, and worth cherishing. And I know you are both lawyers, so here’s a question for you to brief. We cannot know the actual intent of whatever force gave you marks that respond to each other. So I want to you look for what evidence there might be, in each other, for your connection.”
Emile added on, “You have a link, and it’s worth exploring. It doesn’t have to ever be more important, more meaningful than another connection you have. But understanding it is critical to bonding successfully.”
“I think we should wrap there, for this week,” Remy added. “But you can talk about this, of course, without us.”
Janus and Logan nodded, and left. The walk home was as quiet as the walk there had been, but this time the air thrummed with thoughts and ponderings.
Janus and Logan made dinner with relatively little talk, only quiet asks to pass a spice or a cooking implement. It wasn't an uncomfortable quiet, but one where their minds were far too loud to vocalize just yet.
Janus quietly suggested putting on TV, and picked the game show network as a neutral, unobjectionable option.
They ate as they watched, still burdened with their own thoughts, but slowly started to murmur the correct questions under their breath before the Jeopardy contestants were able to.
Final Jeopardy, as luck would have it, was on Latin - but specifically, Latin as used in law. Both attorneys chuckled at the contestants' answers, some of which weren't even close to correct.
Janus directed a cautious smile in Logan's direction, and found it reciprocated. But as he saw that familiar glow start to reflect off the walls, he tensed, waiting for Logan flee once more.
For the first time, though, he didn't. His eyes widened as he took in the lights, but he didn't move to stand or leave.
"About today-" Logan began. "I don't know that I am quite ready to discuss it all, but I did want to once again apologize for my handling of this situation, and its emotional impact on you. It was entirely unintentional, but I regret causing you distress."
"Thank you," Janus replied softly. "And thank you for being willing and open to go to counseling. I learned a lot today, all of it important."
"I'd like to talk about it tomorrow, if you'd be willing," Logan added. "There are some additional details I need to share, but I don't think I'm able at the present moment."
"Sounds good," Janus nodded. "I'm going to turn in for the night. Sleep well."
"You as well."
But despite feeling tired, Janus found he wasn't at all sleepy. He ended up sitting up until the wee hours of the morning, stroking Monty gently and thinking a great deal.
The next morning, Janus woke up much earlier than his usual habit, but he needn't have worried - Logan was clearly waiting for him in the kitchen, sipping coffee and idly solving the entire Sunday crossword.
He looked up at the sound of Janus' door, and indicated the mostly-full coffee pot with a nod. Janus gratefully filled a mug for himself and lightened it thoroughly with cream, drinking deep as he stood angled so that he could offer critique and suggestions on the crossword.
"No, shush," Janus said, though Logan had not spoken. "It's gotta be White. Y'know, Betty? C'mon. Most-loved Gold? It's obvious."
Logan just smiled and penned in “White” in the horizontal boxes, immediately able to fill in the Down clues crossing them.
Once the puzzle was complete, Janus refilled his coffee and sat properly at the kitchen island. 
"So, if you're amenable-" Logan began. "I believe I'm prepared to discuss yesterday in more detail."
Janus nodded. "Did you want to start off?"
"Yes, I think I must. Because there was one detail that I wasn't quite prepared to share that I think will be quite helpful in securing a full understanding."
At Janus' encouraging nod, Logan closed his eyes to take a breath, and said, "The truth is, I'm an aromantic asexual. That's why the concept of a soulmate was so upsetting to me, particularly because up until this week I had assumed I didn't have one."
Janus looked down. "I'm ace, too, but not aro, and... yeah, same boat, mostly. I thought I wouldn't have one, but when we started to glow, I assumed it must be romantic. But that must not be the case."
Logan tented his fingers together. "So you're not aro, but you do have a QPP?"
"Yeah - I definitely can experience romantic attraction, but what I feel for Patton has always been stronger, and different."
"I'd like to hear about him, if you'd be willing," Logan said softly, and was rewarded by a smile that seemed about to glow as brightly as his soulmark on Janus' face.
"Oh, he's just the best," Janus gushed. "I met him at the perfect time in my life. I'd just been dumped by an asshole because he couldn't deal with the fact that the asexual part wasn't just me being a tease. I was feeling pretty low, post-college, all alone in a new apartment, and then this beam of sunshine turns out to be the kind of neighbor who brings cookies as a greeting. Even though I wasn't exactly receptive, he just kept coming back, even just to check up on me, and soon I found myself looking forward to it, and then inviting myself over in return."
Logan paused. "Wait, your ex broke up with you because you were ace? Was it a surprise?"
Janus rolled his eyes. "No, not in the least. I'd told him, and reminded him, and he'd just been assuming I would 'get over it,' the fucker. Right after the breakup, there were times I wondered if he was right, if I should have just powered through my repulsion to make him happy. But Patton was amazing about that, too. When he heard what happened - oh my goodness, he was so angry on my behalf, he looked like he was going to Hulk out. And then he made it his mission to make sure I was being validated in my identity and knew that I was eminently lovable both in spite of and because of my aceness."
Logan smiled. "That's wonderful. I can see why you love him so much."
Janus sighed happily. "And it hasn't changed even though he's met his allo soulmate. Roman knows that our bond isn't and will never be a threat to theirs, and he makes Pat so happy. They're planning their wedding right now, but they've already signed all the papers and it'll just be a party where they gush about each other in public."
Janus sat for a moment, basking in the glow of his affection for Patton, before he turned to Logan and asked, “You have a QPP too, right?”
“I do,” Logan said, a smile stretching across his face unconsciously. “Their name is Virgil. And they’re also married to their soulmate.”
“Tell me about them,” Janus said, when Logan fell silent. 
“They’re- they are just amazing. They’re my best friend, have been since about fourth grade. ” Logan’s eyes went a bit misty as he considered his childhood. “We bonded over being surrounded by idiots, after a debate simulation where we were on opposing sides.”
Janus smirked. “You mean I’m not your first? I’m heartbroken.”
Logan shot him a glare, but it had none of true anger’s heat.
“I guess we always had the feeling that we weren’t quite like everyone else. Besides the introverted tendencies, it wasn’t really a shock when they came out as nonbinary. They’d been online, discovering new terms, and in learning about their identity I ran into the aro and ace labels. I felt seen, do you know what I mean? And then Virgil just compounded that feeling by immediately understanding and accepting me. They call me a brother, just to explain that our relationship isn’t “just” friends.”
“What was it like when they met their soulmate?” Janus asked. 
“It wasn’t nearly as smooth as your experience seems to have been,” Logan admitted.
“Their husband is... unique. Prone to rather odd fixations and interests. But he’s also demisexual, and like us, had thought he wouldn’t have a soulmate. And part of his defense mechanism against that kind of rejection was, well. Embracing his off-putting side. Being disgusting for the sake of it. Grossing out others before they could judge him for his orientation.”
Janus grimaced. “I know that feeling, all too well. Donning a mask, so that a rejection won’t be of you, just your persona.”
“Exactly,” Logan said, nodding. “I don’t think it helped that both Virgil’s and Remus’ soulmarks were in their hair. They’d both dyed their hair many times over the years, but it wasn’t enough to hide it. And once they had shown up- there was no more pretending.”
“Was it hard for them?” Janus asked. 
“Accepting it was. But then they started actually talking and then it just- clicked. All those macabre interests that overlapped, the mutual obsession with MCR. They fell in love the minute they both let their walls down. And like you said- it never really changed what I had with Virge. They didn’t meet Reme until college, and didn’t get married until last year. So Virge told Reme that I was here to stay, and part of their life, and he accepted it without a blink. He’s a forensic archeologist now, to Virge’s forensic detective, so they’ve actually both been helpful in cases, too.”
“That’s... kind of adorable, in a weird way,” Janus said, scrunching his nose. 
Logan chuckled. “‘Adorable in a weird way’ is the best possible description for their relationship.”
Janus tapped his finger on the island. “That sounds so familiar, though, and I can’t quite place it.” He closed his eyes, murmuring under his breath. “Wait! Is Virgil’s husband an Augustus?”
“That was his surname, yes, though now it’s Angelico-“
“Oh my god!” Janus burst out. “That’s Patton’s brother-in-law!”
“What?”
“Roman Augustus! That’s his soulmate’s name! And he had a twin, but they had a falling out and haven’t been in contact for a couple of years. But he said he’d been in forensics!”
Logan blinked. “Well, it is certainly a small world. Not that Remus has ever talked about his brother, but I knew he had one.”
“That’s kind of crazy. What are the chances?” Janus asked, laughing. 
Logan looked pointedly over. “Do you really want to know? I could calculate them-“
“Thanks, calculator watch, but I’m good.”
They both chuckled quietly, sitting side by side at the kitchen island. 
“Hey, uh- thank you for trusting me, with the other day, and with this,” Janus said softly. 
“I owe you thanks as well,” Logan replied. “I don’t frequently have the opportunity to talk about Virgil in detail and it’s- it’s nice.”
Janus just beamed, returning the sentiment without words. 
In that moment, the sunlight of the room was tinged with colored light, gold and blue overlapping into rich emerald.
Logan hesitated, seeing it, but after a moment lifted his arm. Janus smiled and leaned in, accepting the offered side-hug.
“Hey Finch- I mean, Logan?”
“Yes Janus?”
“I may not be sure yet why we’re soulmates, but I’m definitely not disappointed that we are.”
A beat.
Then a soft murmur replied, “Neither am I.”
Later that afternoon, Logan returned from stocking up on more food to find Janus lying upside-down on the couch, lanky legs dangling over the back. His face was red enough to show that he’d been sitting there for a while as the blood rushed downward.
“I cannot imagine that is at all comfortable,” Logan commented drily, neatly putting away the packets of noodles and snacks he’d purchased.
“It helps me think,” Janus replied. “Especially when I’m trying to see something from another perspective.”
Logan’s eyes narrowed. “This better not have been a set-up just to make that terrible pun.”
Janus looked over, grinning. “It actually started that way, not gonna lie. I’d been venting to Patton about an oral argument simulation in law school and he suggested this as a joke. And then it actually helped.”
Logan huffed in what sounded suspiciously like a muffled laugh and came to sit more normally in a chair next to the couch. “So what is it that you’re trying to change your perception of so literally?”
“Our case, actually - Gomex.” At Logan’s quizzical look, he replied, “The partners aren’t letting me onto new cases until they know I’ll be back in person. I’m getting bored. So I thought, you know. Why not figure out what I was missing in this one.” He shrugged, an odd contortion for an inverted torso.
“You were missing something? But you won at trial.”
“And I was caught off-guard by your appeal - or at least, the part where it survived my motion to dismiss.”
Logan allowed himself a satisfied smirk. “Surprised you with my impeccable research, did I? All my rock-solid precedent pointing out the clear error in the original jury instruction?”
Janus’ legs kicked idly in the air. “Your research is always impeccable. Of course you were able to find precedent on-point for the general issue, you’re good at this. But the facts of the case are just so different that how could any of those past rulings be definitive?”
Logan leaned back in his chair, tapping the arm pensively. “Wait, so you really believe that? It wasn’t just a tactic to make Gomex feel like they’re getting their money’s worth for your legal fees?”
Janus finally righted himself, sitting upright with a leg balancing on the coffee table. “Well, yeah , of course I do. I don’t take the time and effort to go to trial for bullshit unless the client can’t be talked down from combat mode. Racking up charges for unnecessary trial prep is only fun when they don’t take my advice.” He looked quizzically at Logan. “So you really didn’t see the difference between Gomex and, what, Sourgoutsis?”
“No material difference, no. It’s in the right circuit, it’s recent and binding, and it established a test that clearly applies here.”
“But the test requires knowledge!”
“Knowing includes reckless disregard for the truth, and Gomex had that.”
“Oh, you can hardly say it’s reckless when all the claims were paid without issue for a decade!”
Logan leaned forward, counting off points on his fingers. “The guidance is updated each year. The commentary points out the changes. Gomex has to certify as a company that they accept all current guidance and direction. If they didn’t actually know they were submitting false claims, they should have known, and had a duty to know.”
Janus’ eyes were flashing, but more with excitement than anger. “But even the commentary didn’t clarify that these specific claims would no longer be accepted in the future. Doesn’t the agency have a duty to be clear about changes in accepted policy when the code is so vast and companies used past claims as standards for future approval?”
“But the companies are the experts in their own industries. They should know that these kind of differences are significant and material.”
Janus sat up fully straight, pointing enthusiastically. “That’s it!”
“What’s it?”
“I figured it out! It is a matter of perspective. But not the perspective of side versus side, like I was thinking. It’s time.”
Logan leaned in, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Expand, please.”
Janus nodded, mirroring Logan’s pose even as his hands remained free to gesture. “So you’re looking at this as: company knows their procedures best, they’re the ones making profit off it, so their duty to know details is higher than the public agency. Right?”
Logan nodded.
“Here’s where I’m coming from - it’s not a question of if this company knew or should have known this distinction, or even if this industry has the expertise that the agency lacks. It’s about what this case would do to the Sourgoutsis test for cases in the future. If the agency doesn’t have to clarify a policy change now, why would it ever? If it’s not enough that companies rely on a long history of approval here, when will it ever be? Do you follow, Logan?”
Logan linked his fingers, tapping the tips of his forefingers gently. “So your concern is about using a history of compliance as evidence of good faith?”
“Exactly, yes.”
“But Gomex knew that the change meant the compliant history was no longer relevant.”
“Only because they had insider knowledge of the change process. Not from the public information.”
“Wait, so you agree that Gomex knew?”
Janus grinned sheepishly, baring all his teeth. “Well, we’re both off the case now, so- yeah. They knew or should have known their claims would get rejected and banked on the agency not noticing for just long enough.”
Logan gasped. “But you still went into court and got the jury to agree with you that they didn’t!?”
Janus shrugged pragmatically. “It’s not about Gomex, it’s about the precedent this will set. I’d rather one bad actor get away with it now than have who-knows-how-many claims get screwed in the future for a good-faith misunderstanding.”
“Especially if that bad actor is paying you millions to help them get away with it?” Logan asked with an eyebrow raised.
Janus raised one of his own. “So you’d rather let a bad test become binding because the agency is paying you millions to get it set in stone?”
Logan, about to respond hotly, paused. “I suppose that’s a fair assessment. I didn’t think it was that bad a test until now - I assumed the insider knowledge would be baked into the standard.”
“You gotta think cynically, Mr. Finch,” Janus said with a chuckle. “Picture the worst-faith application and work backwards from there, cause you know it’ll end up happening.”
“Hmm,” Logan said with a quiet laugh. “When you’re right, you’re right.”
Janus fluttered his lashes. “The great Logan Finch thinks I’m right about something. My life’s goal is achieved.”
“Hey, I think you’re correct quite a lot!” Logan objected. “Infuriatingly precise and pedantic, sure, but ultimately right. There’s a reason my firm sends me against you - no one else wants to fight what’ll be a losing battle half the time.”
“Only half?”
“Even you must admit I’ve been correct on more than one occasion,” Logan said with a smile.
“That is true,” Janus admitted. “Knowing that you’re going to be the opposing counsel always makes me up my game.”
“The feeling’s mutual,” Logan said wryly. “I’d never admit it to the other partners, but you make me a better lawyer, Janus.”
The flattered glow of Janus’ grin was immediately dwarfed by two other, brighter bursts of light. Gold and blue pulsed from their backs in a flash, then settled into steady light. The colors lit the stylish room, blending to emerald as they pulsed in time with each man’s heartbeat. Logan looked at the glow reflected on the white couch cushions with wonder as he realized that Janus’ back  was no longer shining blue, but green. He caught his eyes and realized his own glow must have changed colors as well.
The lights pulsed more and more gently until they dimmed and went out, leaving Janus and Logan sitting across from one another just as the last of the sunlight fell below the horizon and the room went dark. 
The silence stretched for several moments, until Janus finally broke it with a bemused, “Huh.”
“So that was-”
“I think so.
“So now we’re-”
“Bonded, yeah. I think.”
“That would be a logical assumption.”
The silence returned, each man lost in his own thoughts. When they spoke again, it was at once.
“Maybe we should-”
“Perhaps we could still-”
“-make sure it’s permanent?
“-take a few days more?”
They shared a grin.
“A couple more days couldn’t hurt,” Janus said. “After all, it could be a fluke. We wouldn’t want to set a standard from a mere fluke.”
“Oh, of course not,” Logan responded with the same tone of amusement. “We want to confirm the integrity of the test.”
Janus stood to flick on a light, then turned as a thought occurred. 
“Wait, Logan - even once we go back, we won’t be able to be opposing counsel anymore. The soulmate code will still be applied, even though we’re not romantic or QP soulmates.”
Logan’s face fell for a moment, then lit up once more as he stood. “Well, we’ve got a couple days at least. I think the two best lawyers in the state might be able to argue that every precedent has an exception, don’t you, Mr. Alighieri?”
Janus’ smile mirrored Logan’s own as he replied, “Why yes, Mr. Finch, I think we might.”
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Kingdom Come
"Fear is your only defense," his father hissed, fingers digging into the flesh of Virgil's shoulder, "You will not let it be used against you."
Since the death of King Thomas five months ago, the kingdom of Mindscape has been in turmoil. With Prince Roman's coronation just a few months away, it seems everyone in the land has made a shot at him (literally and metaphorically) in an attempt to secure a spot on the throne.
Virgil Evans is a phobamancer, capable of striking fear into the heart of any living being, and it has become his most trusted weapon. When he's paid to kill the young Prince, he expected it to be a quick -if somewhat difficult- job.
He definitely didn't expect his plans to be thwarted by Remus Duke, Roman's personal bodyguard- and a skilled lipsiamancer, capable of causing obsessive, chaotic thoughts.
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spicycreativity · 2 years
Text
Remus Sanders de Cyrano de Bergercock, or: Post-PoF but Make it Valentine's Day
4k; content warnings for crude sexual jokes and references (Remus) and one short make-out scene 😌
I tried a new narration style this time just for funsies
Happy Valentine's Day!
Janus was doing it again. The teacups on the table had long since been emptied and now the dregs sat cold and still smelling faintly of Thomas' anglophile phase. Two teacups. One for Janus, one for Patton (and still smudged with his strawberry-flavored lip balm). Remus had pointedly been left out of the equation, having been shooed out of the room with a 'behave' that held all the menace of a teenage girl warning her parents not to ruin her first date.
Now the little meeting was over and Remus had been unleashed and Janus was just staring at the teacups in the least dangerous silence Remus had ever known.
Most of Janus' silences came with a bold warning spelled out in crossed arms and furrowed brows: disturb me and perish. But this. This was something Remus had never seen before, something that would have made Virgil (the old Virgil) cackle with friendly schadenfreude: Janus sat with a flush on his cheek and a small smile on his lips as he stared dreamily at the spot Patton had occupied not five minutes before. Even as Remus observed him, he sighed and tilted his head, more Disney prince than man. (Somewhere on the other side of the subconscious, Roman suffered a shooting chest pain.)
Beads rattling, Remus got a running start and threw himself onto the couch beside Janus, jostling him out of his lovestruck stupor. "You're mooning," said Remus, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. The cups and saucers rattled, wafting up the smell of earl grey and Louis Tomlinson.
"I'm not mooning," Janus argued, more out of habit than anything. A millisecond later, the teasing clicked and he straightened his posture, his face falling into picture-perfect incredulousness. "Over Patton?"
"You're moonier than a college football game." Remus reached for his fly to give a demonstration, but Janus stopped him with an outstretched hand. Remus sat back to allow the mental image to sink in instead.
He'd had a sneaking suspicion something like this might happen, hammered home by how excruciatingly one-note Janus had been lately. Every other sentence was about Patton somehow, whether to complain about his taste in food/movies/philosophical ideologies/friends or to recount some 'utterly stupid' thing Patton had said about food/movies/philosophical ideologies/Remus. It was a textbook crush with all the signs and symptoms of someone too emotionally stunted to tell they had a crush. This starry-eyed, gooey, abhorrent Janus was simply the final nail in the coffin of the dead horse. Crushes like these were the reason Disney had invented the word 'twitterpated.'
"Look," said Janus, lacing into his metaphorical tap shoes, "if this is because I kicked you out, I genuinely don't think you would have enjoyed yourself—"
Remus pulled up his sleeve to check his watch, which he had imagined into existence as soon as it was necessary for the gag. "Uh-huh, uh-huh."
"If it's really that important to you, I'll invite you next time and you can sit right next to me and listen to Patton talk for three hours about his conflicted feelings on pugs."
Remus ran a hand through his hair to hide the manic grin yanking on either corner of his mouth like he'd been caught with fish hooks. "How does Patton feel about pugs?"
"He thinks they're cute, but he hates that they have such severe breathing problems," Janus answered automatically. The flush had crept into his cheek again, a dainty shade of pink that made Remus' toes curl inside his boots. There was a softness in Janus' eyes that Remus had never seen before, not even when Janus was talking to him about Thomas, whom Janus valued above all else.
He was lost.
Something must have shown on Remus' face, because Janus slammed the door shut on everything too early, and his face was a blank mask ready to be molded into an expression he hadn't chosen yet. Remus took the opening, watching Janus decide on an expression as he talked: "I bet he likes you back. He's always coming around to visit and you're always locking me away in the chokey!" He threw himself against the back of the couch, raising his arms as though he'd been chained to a dungeon wall. "Augh! The indignity!" He made a whip-crack sound with his mouth and pretended to flinch. "Harder!"
"Are you done?" Janus asked, having settled on annoyed incredulity.
"Will you admit that you were all moony-eyed for Patton just now?"
"I was thinking—"
"About Daddy Patty's 9-inch c—" With a subtle motion from Janus, Remus' hand came up to cover his own mouth.
"Look," said Janus with a heavy sigh. When Thomas wasn't forcing him to the forefront of conscious thought, when his features belonged wholly to himself, he was the shortest of all of them. He looked especially small now. "Even if I had an interest in Patton, which I don't, pursuing him, which I don't want to even do, would just make things harder and more complicated for him. So even if I wanted anything to do with him, it would be far kinder to just keep it to myself."
"Or," said Remus, his hand finally dropping from his mouth, "convince yourself you don't even have feelings for him in an act of self-delusion and cognitive dissonance to allow yourself to not think about the fact that you, the embodiment of selfishness and self-preservation, are committing an act of pure selflessness that defies your function? Hypothetically?"
Janus sighed so heavily that it sent a shiver down Thomas' spine. "Sure, Remus."
A thousand thoughts raced through Remus' mind until his brain (imaginary, metaphorical, or otherwise) threatened to shut everything down and send him floating into the gentle waters of dissociation. "Interesting," he said as the water began to lap at his ankles.
"In that case," Janus said in a slow, guiding tone, "it would be better for you to just leave it alone. Do you hear me, Remus? Say it with me now: Leave it alone."
But Remus was gone, swept away on the tide.
-
Janus really was a bad liar, when you thought about it. His real talent lay in obfuscation, namely, in keeping his mouth shut when it really counted. Once you got him talking, the truth practically ran out, but it ran out backwards and usually tripped and fell on its ass. If Janus succeeded in smoothing everything out, it was usually through more obfuscation.
But this time, he had failed to obfuscate the truth. Remus, with his persistence, was uniquely well-suited to weaseling the truth out of Janus. And so it lay naked and tantalizing before him: Janus was head-over-heels for Patton. And it was making him miserable. That couldn't be allowed. Remus had to fix it.
In many ways, Remus served as Janus' opposite; blunt and aggressive, he got his way through the repeated application of verbal force. He was a living wrecking ball with an experienced hand at the controls. Probably some old Italian guy named Vito who smoked cigars on his lunch break and thought OSHA was a small town in Wisconsin.
Anyway.
Remus' impulse had been to swagger on down to Patton and tell him outright just how badly Janus wanted him. But, contrary to prevailing belief, he was sharp enough to know how that would end. As much as Patton insisted that everyone needed to tell the truth, he sure wasn't equipped to handle it, at least not until it had been wrapped up in pleasantries. Like wrapping a pill in lunch meat for a stubborn dog. No, Remus needed a subtler plan, a plan that slithered and crooned like that creepy snake from The Jungle Book. Remus was going to have to act like Janus.
So. WWJD? Probably something old fashioned like— The speeding semitruck of an idea struck Remus full force: Love poetry. Some flowery, hand-written little rhyming missive, scented paper, swirling calligraphy. A piece of paper appeared on the desk before him and a pen jumped into his hand.
Huh, when had he gotten to his room? Maybe Janus had taken him once it became clear that Remus was having a trip.
Eh. Did it matter? Taking up the ballpoint, he scribbled 'Draft 1 Love Poem, Remus de Bergerac.'
No.
'Cyrano Vaginerac.'
He could do better 
Ooh. It was coming to him. Cyrano de Berger-cock, the porno parody, and instead of having a big nose, Cyrano was cursed with a 12-inch monster—" Knock.
Knock knock knock.
Remus' paper had turned into a screenplay without his realizing. He flipped it over as he went to answer the door, humming The Police's Roxanne on his way. Deception was the name of the game. No hints.
Janus stood in the doorway tapping his forefinger against his thumb. Remus beamed at him. "How goes it, Romeo?"
Janus made a face like Remus had just inserted a slice of lemon into his mouth. "I was just coming by to ask you to keep it down. You've been awfully noisy since this morning."
Remus spotted the concern buried in the sarcasm and the truth sprang to his lips before it could even occur to him to lie, but he caught it by the tail in the nick of time: "I'm okay. I'm just working on—" He stared at Janus, wide-eyed and smiling in cornered-animal frustration. The silence stretched out before them and his imagination, which he had previously thought boundless, delivered no lie. Well, there went that.
What Remus did not know: The look of feral panic on his face was nigh-indistinguishable from the expression of manic excitement that tended to overtake him when he was immersed in a project. That he had gone silent was of no concern to Janus, who was merely waiting to be polite. He waited a few seconds longer. Remus' left eye began to twitch. "Can I come in?"
"But of course!" Remus said, snapping back into himself. Acting against his function was hard and it kind of hurt in the same way it hurt to focus on something he didn't find interesting. Janus suppressed him a little as he came in, a small exertion of denial to keep the effects of Remus' room at bay. "Business or pleasure?"
"This place is filthy," Janus said like that was any sort of revelation. Remus threw himself backwards onto his bed to wait. Janus would get to his point in time. "Look, you'd tell me if you were upset, wouldn't you?"
"Upset?" Remus sat up, but Janus was busy pretending to care about Remus' DVD collection.
"About certain conversations we might have had this morning?" Janus prompted.
"Do you like Patton better than you like me?"
The answer was not immediate, which was how Remus knew to trust it. "...Of course not."
"So why would I be upset?"
"Oh, you know, I've heard tell that some people can get jealous when, uh…" Janus broke off, having lost himself. "If I had a thing for Patton, I might expect you to be slightly…" He gave up with a sigh and looked plaintively at Remus. "So you're not jealous?"
"Please!" Remus spread his arms out wide. "I may be green, but not with envy! You can get back to your mooning guilt-free."
"I'm not—" Janus gave up with a huff. "I think I'd better go. I'm going to be very busy with important work, so try not to disturb me." He swept out, leaving the invitation floating in the air like fine cologne.
Remus waved it away. Unlike Janus, he did have work to do.
A new stack of paper was waiting for him at his desk. He sat, one leg folded with the ankle resting on his opposite knee. If it were up to him, he would write something to the point like 'Roses are red, violets are blue, rhyming is hard, let's bone.' But Janus would never say something like that in a million years and the point was to sound like him.
The subtle feeling of discomfort was back. It just wasn't in his nature to imitate and skirt around things like this. But if it was for Janus, he would endure it.
Such a declaration was easy to make, but much harder to stick to. Remus wrote two stanzas of a sestina before the fraying high-wire of his attention span snapped and the unicycle-riding clown driving his thought process plummeted to a gory death in front of a crowd of sickened onlookers. Well, that was fine. It wasn't like Janus was some master poet. Poetry didn't suit him, anyway. These two stanzas would have to be enough, plus an envoi tacked on for a feeling of completion. Writing in iambic pentameter was hard enough on its own, it's not like Janus would really put in the extra effort to make it all rhyme, right?
Janus' pen of choice was the Monteverde Invincia in brass, a suitably pretentious pen that matched his aesthetic. Thomas had seen one once in a boutique stationery shop and Janus had seized the memory in all six of his yellow-clad hands. But Remus didn't know that, only that Janus had some sort of a fetish for fancy pens, and what was fancier than a quill pen?
After a few failed attempts at cursive, he came to realize that writing neatly with a quill on was about as intuitive as performing a kickflip in stilettos. Ah, well. Rollerball, then.
Once done, he surveyed his work and felt oddly proud of the result. His looping cursive looked good on the cardstock he'd chosen, shiny gold against matte black. Remus had, against all odds, done a good job impersonating Janus. (Or so he thought).
Remus' poem read thusly:
With one deft thrust, you opened up my chest
And there exposed my bleeding, beating heart
Will you gasp when you find it burning up
Or hold it in a one-handed embrace?
Just one touch has left me open for you
Panting, trembling, waiting for your next move
Oh, oh, oh! how I long to make you move
And meet you face-to-face and chest-to-chest
With no one in our way, just me and you
And in the silence you would hear my heart 
You would feel the pounding as we embrace
In this sweet moment, you would take me up
Know the rabbit-fast movement of my heart
Eat me up within our tangled embrace
Eyes, chest, feet, mouth: yours. I belong to you.
Discerning readers will spot anywhere from 7 to 10 sexual innuendoes in the above. Luckily for Remus (and maybe Janus too), Patton had an endearingly obnoxious (or obnoxiously endearing) habit of taking everything at face value.
Remus signed the bottom of the paper with a shiny, swooping 'J' and set off for Patton's room.
The following hour was an ecstasy of agony, all trembling limbs and giddy anticipation. Remus paced and bounced on the balls of his feet, even going so far as to make a few passes by Janus in the living room but never quite daring to show his face. He was too nervous right now; his honest face would give away the game faster than Virgil could jump to a bad conclusion. So he paced until his thudding heel strikes summoned Janus, who was doing a passable job of pretending to be annoyed, anyway. He had his arms crossed over his chest and his hip cocked just so, but the furrow of his brow hinted more at concern than he would have preferred. But that was alright. Good lies weren't necessary with Remus. "If you're trying to wear a hole in the floor, you're going to get bored before you get anywhere with it."
"Not if I wear really heavy shoes," Remus said, but he was too distracted to summon up a pair of cinderblocks to demonstrate his point. Instead, he leapt forward and turned, slinging one arm easily over Janus' shoulder. "Let's go play Pokémon Stadium."
-
Remus sat in the discomfort of lying for the next few days, shimmying and stamping his feet when the unfamiliar sensation got to be too much. Janus remained none the wiser, too caught up in a pink-tinged and distinctly 1950s-inspired love fantasy. He kept having dreams about sharing strawberry sodas with Patton and waking up with a craving for strawberry-flavored kisses. Beyond that, nothing happened. So much nothing, in fact, that it was starting to get unusual.
"Where's the Foxy Froggie?" Remus asked on the third morning after his illicit delivery, inadvertently startling Janus out of a daydream wherein Patton asked him to go steady at the roller rink.
Janus stiffened and said, slightly too casually, "Am I Morality's keeper?"
Well, damn. He hadn't snuck into Janus' bedroom in the night and, in the immortal words of Conway Twitty, laid him down and whispered pretty love-words in his ear. Remus tucked his feet under him on the couch and began to work. "You killed him with a rock?"
"Don't be uncivilized, Remus, obviously I used poison."
"The coward's weapon." Remus waved a hand, grinning behind it.
"'Coward' in one font is 'pragmatist' in another," Janus said lightly, glad of the distraction. Patton's absence was unusual and it weighed on him.
"Sorry," said a voice that was neither Remus' nor Janus', "is this a bad time?"
Remus sprang to his feet in delight, unable and unwilling to keep the deranged grin off his face. "Not at all!" he said. Then, regrettably, he threw his head back and cackled like an asthmatic hyena.
Patton (the voice belonged to Patton, if you hadn't already figured that out) took this in stride. Sort of. "Uh, great!" he said with an expression like an underpaid worker who'd just found out he was getting a pizza party instead of a raise. "Thanks."
He was holding, Remus noticed with delight, a small, white envelope. "Shall I leave you two alone together?" he crooned, leering at Patton. This was it! His master plan, deviously woven, was all coming to a toe-curling climax. Move over Janus, there's a new Lord of the Lies in town. And his name? Remus de Bergerac. No, wait. Berger-cock. 
"Ah, Remus?" Janus gave a restrained little wave that the untrained observer might have mistaken for polite. 
"Oh, don't mind me!" said Remus, laying it on thick. Like, 'artificially-flavored maple syrup that's been congealing on the back table at IHOP for 6 years' thick. Sticky, too. "Pay no attention to the rat behind the curtain." Raising his hands in surrender, he backed away, hit the coffee table, did a fantastic Gene-Wilder-as-Willy-Wonka-style pratfall that went unappreciated, and finally left the room. He stayed close enough to eavesdrop, of course.
"That was…" Janus hesitated, base instinct to lie getting tangled up with his inability to choose a word to describe Remus' unusual behavior. "Well."
"Yeah." Janus and Patton met eyes, each of them blushing and breathless and starry-eyed. In the hall, Remus stuck out his tongue and gagged. Patton gave a shy smile. "Hey, Janus."
"Hey," said Janus, smelling strawberries. Then he remembered himself. "By all means, let's just stand here and stare at each other."
He motioned at the couch, but Patton shook his head. "This is okay. I just, um. I wanted to apologize for how long it took me to get back to you."
"That's alright," Janus said slowly, feeling the first subtle pinch of wrongness, that he might be missing something.
"I guess I was just panicking, because it was something I didn't even know I wanted until I had it. And I wanted to do something equally as special for you."
"Uh... huh…" said Janus, Lord of the Lies, Subterfuge Specialist, Master of Mendacity, Captain of— Well, you get it.
"So," said Patton, holding up the envelope and taking a deep breath, "I wrote you this:
Self-Care is yellow
Morality is blue
Poetry is hard
But I like you, too."
Around the corner, Remus stamped his foot. He'd really put way too much effort into this little scheme, hadn't he?
Janus blinked, excavating bits of the truth from the situation. The emerging fossil was starting to look distinctly Remus-shaped, but it was no good to jump to conclusions quite yet. "You like me?" he repeated. His lips tingled.
"I'm sorry I couldn't put it as well as you did." Patton looked down at his feet, blushing like an anime schoolgirl. "But all that stuff you said… I want to be yours, too. And I want you to be mine."
"This is a love confession," Janus said out loud. He'd been caught on the back foot before, but never quite like this. Unsure of what else to do, he borrowed a trick from Roxy Hart and swooned.
"Whoa!" said Patton, catching him in the least-romantic way possible, which is to say he grabbed Janus under the armpits and set him back on his feet like a toddler.
Annoyed, Janus grabbed him by the collar and kissed him. Patton was wearing strawberry lip balm, and a surge of vindication made Janus' heart hammer in his chest. The third-act twist could wait; everything could wait. Reality gave a thrilling shudder and turn as Patton bent at the waist and picked Janus up under the knees. Janus wrapped his arms around Patton's shoulders to keep from toppling backwards but broke the kiss, instead touching their foreheads together. And face-to-face, chest-to-chest, Patton felt the rabbit-fast pounding of Janus' heart.
In the hall, Remus punched the air. 
"I have to tell you something," Janus murmured, unable to keep from imagining his gloves away so he could run his fingers through Patton's hair.
"Oh, yeah?" Patton's grin was distinctly boyish, so unlike the fathering persona he wore around his shoulders like his cardigan.
"No— Really, I have to tell you something. But. I need you to know that this isn't going away."
"This?"
"Us."
"Why would we?" Patton asked, tilting his head. "Is it bad news?"
"I'm afraid you'll have to decide that for yourself." Janus wiggled out of Patton's grip and snapped twice. "Remus!"
Remus slunk in like a guilty dog, pouting up at Janus and Patton and flinching like they might hit him. "Yyyeeees, Janus?" he said in a whine.
"Is there something you'd like to tell us?"
Remus dropped the act. "You know it!" He sauntered over to Patton, displacing Janus, and leaned hard on Patton's shoulder. "Janny-Bananny is really in love with you, y'know. He's been pining like a tree ever since you stood up for him way back when."
"That's totally what I meant," Janus huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and drawing into himself. 
"But…" Patton looked at Remus, then at Janus. "I know. You told me so in that poem."
"Oh, that!" Remus smacked his forehead so hard his head snapped back, feigning forgetfulness. "I wrote that."
"You wrote that?"
"He wrote that," Janus confirmed. "Without my knowledge or permission, I might add."
"But…" Horror dawned on Patton's face. "So I just…"
"Well for Christian's sake, it wasn't like he was going to tell you," Remus snapped.
"Christian?" Janus' eyes widened almost imperceptibly. "Oh my God, Remus, you do know that Christian and Cyrano both die, don't you?"
"Really?" Remus shrugged and bounced on his toes. "Maybe I should actually read Cyrano de Bergerac."
"Oh!" said Patton suddenly, reaching behind Remus so he could hold Janus' hand. "This isn't going away."
"No," said Janus with a sigh of relief. "Yes. Whatever."
"I get it." Patton beamed and then, dropping Janus' hand, wrapped both arms around Remus and bear-hugged him so hard his feet left the floor. "Thank you, Remus."
"Oh my God," said Remus, wriggling fruitlessly like a worm freshly removed from an apple (get it?). "Approval. Ew, ew, ew, get it off, get it off! It burns!"
Patton winked at Janus over Remus' shoulder. Janus smiled back and joined the hug, squeezing Remus from behind. "Yes, thank you, Remus. We owe everything to you." Ignoring Remus' protests, he stood on his toes and kissed Patton again.
Revenge was sweet, but Patton's strawberry lip balm was much, much sweeter. 
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girl-with-cat-eyes · 3 years
Text
Wednesdays
Summary: Wednesdays are Janus Picani's busiest day. Between meetings, snack day, soccer practice, and art club, he's running around like a chicken with his head cut off. This Wednesday, however, is sure to change the lives of the Picani family forever. Jan's sure they can handle it though.
Ships: Platonic Moceit, thvi
A/N: I've been rewatching the old Reba sitcom from the 2000s and I'd forgotten just how good it was. Good enough that I wanted to write an au for it. Thank you so much to @amazon-me-bitches and my lovely qpp @forever-forgotten-angel for beta reading this and helping me to work out the kinks with the plot. As always, leave a comment if you like this. Enjoy!
For most people, Mondays were their busiest day. It made sense; returning to the workweek, school, etc. For Janus Picani, however, the title of busiest day went to Wednesday. His firm always had partner meetings, they were Emile’s day to bring class snacks, Remy had soccer, and Virgil had art club. On top of that, Jan’s therapy sessions were Wednesdays, which meant he had to make sure all of his work was done 15 minutes early so he could get to his appointment on time. Safe to say, to say Wednesdays weren’t exactly his favorite day.
“Emile! Get down here! You don’t want to be late for school!”, He called upstairs as he finished making breakfast sandwiches. Virgil stood across from him, packing lunches for his brothers.
“He probably can’t find his backpack. He left it down here after he finished his homework.”
Janus sighed, “This wouldn’t be a problem if he just left his backpack down here every night. Remy go get your brother and tell him his backpack is down here.”, the young boy got up, rolling his eyes and Jan had to bite back a sigh. Remy had always been his sassiest child.
“Why can’t Virgil do it?”
Virgil raised an eyebrow at him, “Because I’m making lunch, I can go get him if you want to make your own sandwich ?”, Remys shook his head and ran upstairs, Virgil chuckling at the sight.
Janus finished plating breakfast and turned to thank Virgil, frowning when he saw that Virgil had only made two lunches. He looked pointedly at his son, “You’re not eating?”, he asked.
Virgil shrugged, “I’m gonna get lunch at school today. They’re having burritos.”, Janus nodded. As long as he was eating. Patton came downstairs before he could reply, Remy and Emile in tow.
“I found these two trying to play on the Switch.”, Emile and Remy sat down, guilty little grins on their faces that told Jan that they didn’t regret it, “Good thing I went to check on them.” “Good thing indeed.” He handed Pat a plate, pouting a cup of coffee for his husband? Ex? Janus wasn’t sure what to call the man he’d been married to for 20 years, separated from, hadn’t divorced, and who still lived in the house with. Regardless he poured him a cup of coffee, “Ok so you’re taking Emile and Remy to school and I’ll take Virgil. I’ll pick up Remy and you pick up Emile and-” “-and I’m catching a ride home with Thomas after theater. I’m working on the sets for Little shop today.”, Virgil piped up and Jan had to hold back a grimace at the mention of his boyfriend. He like Thomas, he really did. In terms of high school boyfriends, Thomas had been nothing but a gentleman. But the thought of his son dating still upset Janus deep down; according to his therapist, he was grappling with the thought of his baby growing up.
“Ok.”, he replied, keeping his thoughts to himself. It wouldn’t do any good to speak them when they were his problem to deal with, “I’ll pick up takeout on the way home.”
“Jan? I was wondering if you’d want to come to the restaurant today for lunch?”, He turned to look at Patton. Based on the tone in his voice Janus knew that this wasn’t just a friendly invitation to taste a new menu item. He sighed: he’d been planning to work through his lunch today so he could get out on time.
Regardless, this seemed serious, “Ok. I’ll be there at noon.”, he promised. He quickly finished his breakfast and looked over to Virgil, “Ready to go?”, he asked. He nodded and finished pouring his iced coffee and they were off.
The ride to Virgil’s school was as quick as always. Music played lowly on the radio, lowly on the radio and Janus hummed along. It would be peaceful if not for the fact that Virgil kept fidgeting and staring out the window. Something was up, “Ok. Something’s wrong. Spill.” Virgil turned to look at him, “What? Nothing’s wrong.”, He straightened his face, trying to appear calm. Janus didn’t buy it for a second, “I’m fine.” “Virgil James Picani. I have known you since you were born. I have held you for night after night. I know you inside out. And I know when you’re lying to me. What’s wrong? Is someone bothering you?” Virgil shook his head. “No. It’s just that Mr.Prince, the drama teacher, wants me to be Seymore’s understudy. And I know the chances of me going on stage are rare but I don’t want to take that chance. And I don’t know how to tell him without letting him down.” “Baby bat, just tell him the truth. I’m sure he’ll understand.”, Virgil nodded. The issue seemed to be solved, yet Janus had a feeling that there was something else wrong. But before he could ask any more, they’d arrived and Virgil was getting out. “Love you, Dad! I’ll see you after school!”, Janus shook his head, trying to keep his concerns down. He’d ask Virgil after school. It was fine.
Being a lawyer certainly had its perks; financial security being a prime example. Meetings running long weren’t that though. Janus sighed as he rushed into Pat’s. The warm lighting and delicious smells greeting him. Even if he’d preferred to work through his lunch, Janus couldn’t deny that the thought of Patton’s cooking made his mouth water. There was a reason people came from near and far to this place.
Speaking of Patton, Janus spotted the bespectacled man sitting in their usual booth, a bottle of wine waiting there. He smiled at the thought and sat down, “I thought you weren’t a fan of day drinking?”, he quipped. Pat rarely drank at all, but especially not during the day. “I’m not but I know you don’t mind a glass of wine at lunch.”, Pat poured him a glass, “Salmon or duck?” “Salmon.”, Janus answered. Patton made a delicious pan-seared salmon with risotto and kale salad. It was delicious and sounded lovely right now. Patton nodded and ordered that for him and glazed crispy duck for himself. “So.”, he began as he buttered a roll, “What did you want to discuss?” “Who says I have something to discuss? Maybe I just wanted to have lunch with you?”, He was stalling obviously. Trying to get time to steel his nerves.
Janus raised an eyebrow at him, “You and I know very well that Wednesday is our busy day. If you wanted to just have lunch you would have asked on another day. Therefore this is something important that you don’t want to talk about in front of the kids. So what do you want to discuss?” Patton sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Whatever he wanted to talk about was weighing heavily on his mind. After some time he finally spoke, “I want to finalize our divorce.”, he spoke quickly, like he wanted to get the words out of his mouth as fast as he could.
Janus nodded; he supposed it made sense. They had been separated for over a year now, they slept in separate bedrooms, and they hadn’t had sex since long before they separated. While they still cared for each other, the love they once shared was long gone. The only reason they were still married was the cost of getting a divorce. Considering they’d spent 20 dollars on a courthouse wedding neither had been too happy to shill out thousands of dollars to end their marriage.
The question was why now, and why couldn’t he say it in front of the kids. They’d sat them down months ago and explained that while they loved each other and would always be a family, they weren’t in love anymore. Virgil had taken in the best; being the oldest, he’d seen the signs for a while now. He’d taken it upon himself to comfort his younger brothers. Remy tried to pretend that he was fine, but both Janus and Patton knew better. He’d taken the thought of his family splitting up harder than he was showing. They’d both spoken to him about it, reassuring him that they’d always be a family. And they’d started having family activities every Saturday. Emile had taken it the hardest. The six-year-old didn’t truly understand what was going on. They were still having conversations explaining what it meant. Janus had even begun researching child psychologists at the recommendation of his therapist.
“Ok.”, He spoke, “Why now though? I thought we’d agreed that divorces are too expensive…. You met someone.”, the realization hit Janus like a ton of bricks. Everything made sense. Pat would feel guilty about pursuing someone else while married, even if they were separated. And he wouldn’t want to talk about this in front of the kids until he knew for sure that it was serious.
Patton nodded, “I did.”
“Well, tell me about him. I care about you regardless of our marital status. And I want to know about the person you’ll be bringing around our kids.”
“Ok. His name is Logan and I met him a few weeks ago. He came in here for dinner and he’s just the cutest. He got so excited when he found out we use crofters in our thumbprint cookies and our victoria sponge.” Patton smiled fondly at the thought, “We’ve been on a few dates and… It’s not just a fling. I can see a future with him, Jan.”
Jan took a sip of wine, “Ok. I’ll ask around for good lawyers when I get back.”,
Patton squealed and hugged him, “Thank you so much Jan. Maybe I could invite him over for dinner sometime. That way you could meet him and I could introduce him to the kids.”, Their food came at that moment, which meant Patton had to stop hugging him. Janus was thankful; he’d never been the type for hugging. Except with his kids.
“Ok. But you have to tell them about the divorce first. Deal?” “Deal.”
Virgil was generally considered a good kid by his peers and teachers. Quiet perhaps, but overall a good kid. He didn’t break rules, got good grades, and overall kept to himself. The one anomaly about him was that he was dating Thomas sanders, or rather that Thomas Sanders was dating him. Thomas was a bright and outgoing person; if this was a 2000s sitcom, he might have been considered popular. Not only that, but he had a fairly popular youtube channel where he did skits, challenges, and more. Virgil barely even had social media. They were a couple regardless, and Virgil was known as a good kid.
He didn’t feel like a good kid as he watched the Chipotle employee make his bowl. He’d signed himself out of school early along with Thomas, and now they were getting lunch. The thought of skipping school kept buzzing around his head, even though he’d gotten all of his assignments from the classes he’d be missing. Besides he had bigger problems to worry about.
He sat down beside his boyfriend and took a bite of his food, “What am I going to do?” He asked in a small voice, fear lacing his tone. Thomas reached across the booth and squeezed his hand.
Hey,”, Thomas whispered, his voice soft and reassuring, “It’ll be ok. I’ll be right here no matter what.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”, Thomas squeezed his hand, “Now really eat, you skipped lunch yesterday.”, Virgil nodded and the rest of lunch passed silence. The pair simply enjoying their food together. Virgil grinned and poured queso onto his bowl and smiled at his boyfriend.
“You’re so cute.”, he whispered. Thomas blushed at the compliment and Virgil considered it a win. Sooner enough they were done with their meal. Virgil stood up and gathered their trash, “I’m gonna go the bathroom.” “Ok”, Thomas nodded, “I love you no matter what.”. Virgil smiled and went to the bathroom, anxiety twisting his stomach in knots.
Janus sighed as he drove home. Patton had messaged him earlier that he was making dinner and Jan didn’t have to pick up any takeout. Of course, that made Jan’s life easier, but it also meant that they were going to talk over the divorce with the kids. Great. He peered at Remy in the backseat, sipping his chocolate milk without a care in the world. God sometimes Jan wished he were a child still. Childhood was so much easier, “I think your Dad is making dinner tonight.” Remy looked at him, “I thought we were going to pick up takeout?” “He messaged me saying that I don’t need to pick up any food.”, Remy nodded and smiled before looking back out the window. Janus understood: Patton was an amazing cook. Hopefully, they’d all be able to eat after this. God, how would Remy react? He’d already taken the separation hard. And Emile, he barely understood what divorce was. And Virgil, the oldest, the one who buried his feelings the most. He probably wouldn’t want to talk about it and would bury his feelings to help his brothers.
They pulled into the garage, Remy grabbing his stuff and running inside, “Take off your shoes and change before you get mud all over the house.’, he called after him. Janus took his time collecting his things. ‘Just go in. Better to get it over with.’, his thoughts raced around his head like an angry swarm of bees. He took a deep breath and walked inside.
The smell of garlic and tomatoes washed over his sense, Patton was making Italian food. He took a deep breath, enjoying the smells. Patton stood next to the counter, buttering a long baguette for garlic bread. He looked up and gave a reassuring smile, but Janus could see the nervousness in his eye, at least he wasn’t alone in the feeling, “Hey.” He greeted, “The lasagna is almost done and I’m making garlic bread right now. There’s stuff for caesar salad in the fridge if you want to help out.”
Janus nodded and took off his jacket before washing his hands and making said salad, “Where’s Emile and Virgil?”, he asked, praying that he sounded casual. The salad offered a great distraction from his thoughts, greeting parmesan meant he didn’t have to focus on this upcoming family discussion.
“Virgil is helping Emile with his homework. He’s learning addition.”, Patton supplied as he put the bread on a tray, placing it in the oven. “There are brownies in the fridge. I figured we could make sundaes. Hopefully, it’ll make the conversation easier.”, Janus nodded. Remy and Emile might not realize it but Virgil would know something was up. Pat rarely made dessert on weekdays.
Soon enough dinner was done and all five of them were sitting around the table. Virgil still looked anxious and Janus wanted to bang his head off the table. There was no way he’d be able to ask what was wrong after this conversation. Why did this have to happen tonight?
Patton smiled, “So how was school guys?”, ‘Subtle Pat, subtle. Why don’t you just hang a banner above our heads that says We’re getting divorced’. Janus took a large sip of wine so his thoughts would stay in his head.
“Ok,” Remy spoke up. “But I keep getting headaches during the day. The lights in the class are too bright.”, This had been going on for a while now. The fluorescent lighting of the classroom seemed to give Remy migraines, and his teacher wasn’t budging on letting him wear sunglasses to prevent it.
“I’ll talk to your teacher in the morning.”
“My day was good Daddy.”, Emile grinned, “We learned about ecosystems.”, Janus smiled. Emile was so young and innocent.
“Virgil?”, The teenager in question looked up from where he’d been staring off into space. He took a quick bit of lasagna before speaking.
“It was fine.”
He was lying. Something was wrong and Virgil was trying to act like he was ok. Janus wanted to ask more questions, to figure out what was bothering his son. It wouldn’t work though. Virgil guarded his privacy with his life. Prying would only make him more tight-lipped. Janus just had to wait for Virgil to come to him with what was wrong, and in the meantime, hope that it wasn’t serious.
Besides, even if Janus thought it was a good idea to ask, there were other things at hand. Patton nodded to him and he knew it was time. “Your father and I have some news.”. Patton began. Janus held back a groan.
“Are we going to Disney World?”, Emile was practically bouncing in his seat at the thought of such a trip.
“No.”, Janus made a mental note to talk to Patton about a family vacation. Maybe it would help reassure Remy and Emile that they were all still a family. “It’s not that. You all know that we’re always going to be a family right? No matter what happens we’ll always be together.”, Virgil was ghostly pale and Remy had his fists clenched. He didn’t even have to say it. They knew.
His middle son jumped up, “No.” He was tearing up, “You promised.”
“Remy..”
“No! You said we’d always be together.”, Tears began running down his face. A knot formed in Janus’ throat. Why did they have to do this?
“And we will. No matter what.”, Patton tried to soothe. It was met on deaf ears.
“No, we won’t! That’s what they all say! They say nothing will change but it does. Next thing you know, you’re in different houses and splitting custody and no one will want me. And then I’ll be back in foster care.”
“Remy that won’t happen. We love you.”, Janus wanted to take his son in his arms. Wanted to hold all of his children and promise them that they still loved them all, and the divorce wouldn’t change that. But Remy ran upstairs, the sound of his bedroom door slamming shut echoing through the house.
“What’s going on?”, Emile’s face was contorted, confusion visible. Of course, he wouldn’t fully understand what was going on. The six-year-old had barely understood the separation.
Patton sighed and knelt down next to him, “Your father and I are finalizing our divorce. We won’t be married anymore.” Emile blinked.
“Why? I thought you weren’t getting one?” Patton sighed, “Things have changed.”, Emile blinked at him. This was going wrong. It was too soon. They should have eased them into this idea. Shouldn’t have sprung it on them like this.
Understanding bloomed in Emile’s face. His next words were a whisper, so quiet that Janus almost didn’t hear them. But he did, and it felt like getting hit by a truck. “Are you divorcing cause Virgil’s pregnant?” “EMILE!”, Virgil shrieked. Janus felt like he was watching this from above like it was a tv show playing out in front of him, and not his life. He looked next to him. Patton appeared to be in a similar situation.
“It’s the truth.”
Finally, Janus found himself able to speak. There were a million questions inside of him longing to get out, but all he could say was, “What?”
Luckily Patton was able to voice one of his questions, “Virgil, is this true?”. Virgil refused to make eye contact with either of them and Janus knew it was. His eldest child looked almost ashamed, shoulders tense and body hunched over.
“Virgil…”, He started, but he was upstairs before Janus could continue. Janus shut his eyes. Amazing. One of his kids was pregnant at 17 and another thought he was going to be sent back to foster care. His head met the table with a groan. Patton rubbed his shoulder.
Emile still stood in front of them, “Am I in trouble?”, he asked, voice shaking. Janus leaned forward and picked him up. He bounced Emile on his hip, stroking his back.
“No baby.”, He ruffled his hair and booped his nose. “You aren’t in trouble ok. Everything is just kinda stressful right now. But none of that is your fault, ok?” Emile nodded and buried his face into Jan’s chest. Patton joined the hug, stroking Emile’s back and humming softly. They sat there in this position for about 10 minutes before Janus pulled away, gave Emile a kiss on the forehead, “We love all of you so much and the divorce won’t change that ok?”
He nodded and Janus stood up, “I’m going to go talk to Remy, he might be easier to get to open up than Virgil right now.”, He handed Emile to Pat, who bounced him on his hip.
“Ok. I’ll make a pot of hot cocoa to take up. Hopefully, it’ll get him to open up.”, Janus nodded in thanks and made his way upstairs.
Remy’s room was as dark as ever, the twelve-year-old liked to leave the lights in his room dimmed. Janus peaked his head in, seeing him laying on his bed, face buried into his pillows. “Remy?”, He called out. The child in question didn’t respond but Janus knew he was awake, “Can I come in?”
There was silence for a moment and Janus thought about what he would do if Remy said no. He wanted to respect his privacy, but at the time this was a conversation that needed to happen. Remy thought he was going to be sent back to foster care and Janus couldn’t let him just think that. Luckily Remy soon answered, “Yes…”
He walked in slowly, eyes trained on his son. His son who was terrified that he was going to be sent away. He swallowed, “Remy you aren’t going to be sent back to foster care. I promise that.”
Remy sniffled and his heart broke for his middle child, “That’s what they said last time. They said they loved me and I’d never be sent away again. And then they said they were getting a divorce and it wasn’t a good time for them to adopt a kid.”
Janus sighed and began stroking his hair, “And I’m promising that no matter what we’re not sending you back there. We love you. You’re our son, our wonderful son who we love so much. The divorce is between your father and me. And I won’t lie and say that it won’t affect you or that nothing will change, because things will change. A lot of things will change. But the love that your father and I have for the three of you? That will never change. It’ll never fade or go away. And we’re never sending you back.” He smiled slightly and joked, “Besides we threw away the receipt. No returns.”
Remy giggled and Janus knew he’d been successful in cheering him up. Remy sat up and hugged him tightly, tears still flowing freely, “I love you both. This is my home, my family. I don’t want to lose you.” “I know baby, I know. What does Stitch say?”, He hoped that a reference to Remy’s favorite movie would lighten the mood even more.
Remy sighed, “Ohana means family.” “And?”
“Family is never left behind or forgotten.”
Janus nodded and kissed his head, “And you’re our ohana. And we hope to yours. We’re here for as long as you want us.”, Remy smiled and Janus knew that even if it took some time, everything would be ok with him. He sat up. “Patton should be up here in a few minutes with cocoa and I’m sure he’ll want to talk to you. So I’ll sit here with you until he gets up here and then I’ll give you your privacy. Ok? Besides I need to talk to your older brother.”
Remy nodded, “Is Virgil ok?”
Janus sighed, “I don’t know. But I intend to find out.”. As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and Patton peaked his head in. He held a tray with four mugs of cocoa topped with whipped cream. Next to them sat a plate with brownies.
“Can I come in? I brought cocoa.” He smiled encouragingly. Remy nodded and sat up off of Janus’s chest. Patton came in, taking two of the mugs and some of the brownies. “The rest are for you and Virgil.”
“Where’s Emile?”
“In his room with a covered mug and a brownie watching Aladdin. He’ll be ok.”, Janus nodded and took the tray before leaving.
Janus stood outside of Virgil’s room, trying to figure out what to say. What did you say when your teenage son was pregnant? Most parents were worried about their sons getting someone pregnant, not their sons being pregnant. Then again, not everyone had a trans son. He sighed and knocked, “Virgil? Can I come in?”
Unlike Remy, who took his time answering, Virgil’s reply was almost immediate, “I don’t want to talk, Dad.”, Janus sighed. Goddammit. This is exactly what he was fearing. He couldn’t just leave his son alone right now. His pregnant son at that. Virgil was pregnant. He groaned.
“Baby bat, please. We need to talk about this.”
“I don’t want to talk.” “I have Pat’s hot chocolate and brownies.”
There was a pause. Then he spoke, “The door’s open.”, Janus opened the door slowly. Virgil sat in the middle of the bed, knees tucked against his chest. Tears ran down his face in inky black trails. Janus’ heart ached for him. He looked at Janus and sniffled, “Go on. Yell at me about what a horrible mistake I made.” His heart lept into his throat. Janus remembered having a similar conversation with his sister 18 years ago. How she was pregnant and her boyfriend ran off on her. Janus hadn’t known then how his life was going to change forever. And now his son was pregnant.
“I’m not here to yell at you V.”, He sat next to him, handing Virgil the mug of cocoa. He took a sip of his own, “How long have you known?” Virgil shrugged, “I only found out today. But I suspected it when Dad mentioned that one of the waitresses at the restaurant was pregnant. I’m about a month along.” Janus nodded, “Does Thomas know?”, he was met with a nod. “And what does he think?”, more memories of his sister rushed to the surface. His sister saying that her boyfriend had ran out of town when she found out that was pregnant. That he took the rent money and she’d been evicted. He was brought out of his memories by Virgil’s next words.
“He says he loves me still. And he supports me no matter what I choose.”, Well that was good. Janus didn’t know what he would have done if Thomas had abandoned Virgil. It would have been unpleasant that’s for sure. Now for the hardest question.
“You have options; you don’t have to keep the baby if you don’t want to. Do you have an idea of what you want to do?”, Virgil looked up at him and Janus once again was overcome with memories of his sister. Adelaide saying that she didn’t know what she was going to do but she was keeping her baby. He and Pat letting her move in. Recording home movies for the baby. Rushing her to the hospital while she screamed in pain in his backseat. The doctor saying that she lost too much blood. Holding Virgil in his arms.
“I want to keep the baby.”, there it was. The thing that Janus had known deep down that Virgil would say from the moment he found out about the pregnancy, “I know I have options and I know I’m young and this probably seems stupid but I want this baby. I just... You took a chance on me when mom died. You and Dad weren’t looking for a kid when I was born but you took me in anyway. You took a chance on me. And I’m taking a chance on this baby.”
Janus sighed, “You’re just like your mother you know that. Just as stubborn and just as loving. And you know what? She was just as determined to have you, even if it wasn’t the best time. And I’m going to tell you the same thing I told her.”, He hugged Virgil close, “I love you so much. And if you want this baby then your dad and I will support you no matter what ok? We’ll help you out. I promise.”
Virgil smiled at him, “Really?”
Janus nodded, “Really really. Now I think you should invite Thomas over tomorrow. I want to talk to him.”. Seeing the look on Virgil’s face he added, “I’ll go easy on him. I just want to know he’ll be a good dad for my grandchild. And you two need to tell his parents.”
Virgil nodded and there was a knock at the door, “Come in.”
It was Patton, “Hey. Emile and Remy are both asleep. How is everything?”
“Well Pat, we’re going to be grandfathers.”
Patton smiled and sat down next to them both, “I see. And everything is ok?” Virgil nodded, “Yeah. Everything will work itself out.”, And at that moment Janus knew it to be true.
A/N: Unlike some of my other works, this one is going to be a series of one-shots. I think I'll be able to handle that better than chapter fic. It'll also feel more like episodes of a sitcom. I really like the feel to this and I'm open to prompts.
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themysteryofwriting · 4 years
Text
Masterpost
Sanders Sides OneShots
What Happened Before Accepting Anxiety - what I think happened that caused Virgil to sink out
The Creativity Split -my interpretation of the Split.  Warning for slight U!Pat and gaslighting
Analogical Clothes Prompt - some fluffy Analogical with Logan stealing Virgil’s clothes
Moceit No Mom prompt - fluffy Moceit prompt with a bit of demiboy Patton or Patton in a skirt where Patton is oblivious til the end
Royality short Pat prompt - no further explanation needed
Can’t You See It - Analogical One Shot. Virgil wants the others to know about how loving Logan is...and that he’s a giant memelord.  Is that so bad?  Hints of background Roceit And Remus being himself
Who say you have to leave your past behind you - my first one shot with Rachel. Some stuff has changed about her since this but it has a special place in my heart.  Hinted at Past U!Pat and Remus being himself. Dee speaks in lies ofc.
This is the Worst Ending - oh boy.  okay this is what I call my angst :tm: If you are senstive to any of the following: don’t read Unsympathetic Patton, multiple major character deaths, blood, Sayori like scene, string imagery, gore, depression, brainwashing, emotional manipulation,murder, strangulation, eating disorder(kinda), stabbing, gaslighting There was a part 2 but......it didn’t last long, i wasn’t proud of it
Puppet!Ray Origins - the first part of my fnaf au! (i literally only have this part and the end so far).  Warnings for U!Pat (he’s Afton), along with child death. However some cute Logan and Ray interactions
Puppet!Ray: End of Everything: continuation of FNAF AU.  This time the Henry scene at the end of FNAF 6.  The fic I got to use the tag ‘is it still fluff if everyone dies’ on.  TW: Hinted Unsympathetic Patton because of who he replaces
And They Were Roommates - a hurt/comfort fic writen for the sanders gift exchange last year.  LAMP fic, nonbinary Dee, college AU, supportive boyfs all around
Prinxiety Prompt - takes place post DWIT, Virgil and Roman talking/flirting
Moxiety, Mobster Patton - again, nuff said.  no death, actually pretty fluffy for the prompt.  maybe a little kidnapping?
Movie Night: cute fluffy LAMP
Logan Prevents A Murder: QPP Analogical, Virgil debating murdering Roman
The Bane of Protectiveness: Ray was there when Roman....and she couldn’t stop him   TW: Suicide, Self-deprecation, self-hatred
MM3: The Murder: based of a Murder Mystery from a discord server, how Talyn’s death played out  TW: death, murder, vomiting, planned murder, drugging a drink, Unsympathetic Logan
How Ray Became Anxiety: Little clip from an au of mine where Ray becomes anxiety, along with keeping protectiveness. TW: character death, Virgil ducks out, Patton and Roman are jerks
Fighting the Dragon Witch isn’t Therapy: after POF, Roman will do anything to prove himself  TW: Temporary Major Character Death
Random Fandom One Shots
Peter Meets Angel - short one shot about my oc meeting Peter (Marvel)
Mitsue Goes Off:  Mitsue was already having a bad day, so when the LOV kidnaps her, she’s going to give them a piece of her mind (MHA)
We Have Mic - Mic gets kidnapped, Aizawa has something to say bout that (MHA)
Scar to Remember - Overhaul left a mark on Mitsue (MHA)
Demise Of A Gamer (DR) - Chp5 of SDR2 from Chiaki’s Pov
Friends Protect Each Other- Tubbo goes to visit Tommy during his exile...and finds Dream with him  TW: manipulative Dream
Original Writing
Saving The Moon - a short story I wrote for a contest a few years back
Never Trust A Newbie- short story written for a writing camp
The Hug Wizard- if you know, you know
Spiritfarer Hug Wizard: o w o
Soulmates Don’t Have to Be Romantic (finished :D )
my platonic soulmates series, starring my oc Ray
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Soulmate GC
Based off my soulmate story, a gc with the members messing w/ each other. Crack fic.
Chp 1
Chp 2
Bad Things Happen Bingo
The Collector - Logan collects people. TW: U!Logan, Kidnapping, Taxidermy on a person, blunt force trauma, character death, implied use of a date rape drug, major character death
Pressure Doesn’t Always Make A Diamond: Reminding a side for their mistakes was never a good idea.  Especially when they feel guilty about it like Patton did.  TW: Unsympathetic Deceit, Unsympathetic Logan, constant guilt-tripping, self-hatred, self-deprecation, blaming someone for something that isn’t their fault 
 He’s Not Yours: Patton’s parents....aren’t the best  TW: emotional abuse, yelling, numbness
Keeping Them Pure: Patton just wanted to make sure his kiddos wouldn’t get corrupted by those nasty dark sides  TW: Unsympathetic Patton, Kidnapping, Forced holding, chains
The Past Can Haunt You: Remus keeps getting left by those he cares about  TW: Abandonment, Self deprecation, Childhood Trauma,  the split, implied unsympathetic light sides
Snakes Don’t Like the Cold: Dee is part snake...so what happens when he gets trapped in a freezer  TW: Unsympathetic Roman, locked in a freezer, hypothermia
All It Takes Is One Mistake: It’s very easy for the Ego to crack  TW: Roman angst ,cracks, roman needing to talk to people
A Game of Paranoia: Something seems off to Rantaro as he goes through this game
You Just Need a Push to be Good: Patton couldn’t let those dark sides keep corrupting Thomas  TW: Unsympathethic Patton, using shock collars as punishment
‘I’m Fine’ And Other Lies: Introduction of Mitsue, my bnha oc.  Mitsue gets hurt in a fight and doesn’t realize how bad it is until it’s too late  TW: mention of blood, hospitals
They Never Saw It Coming: a small one shot with my own sides.  Warning, the title is a really bad pun.  TW: graphic eye injury
The Collector: What Happened Before: a sort of prequel to The Collector, Patton thinking over what happened TW: hypnotism, mind control, U!Logan
Replaceable?: takes place post POF, Logan’s reaction to what Janus did 
Those Left Behind: Ray was there when Virgil left them
You’ll See: From my given to Overhaul AU: Why Mitsue works with Overhaul  TW: Forced Starvation, Kidnapping, Parents not caring
Why Roman’s Sword Isn’t Allowed In the Common Room: All I’m gonna say is this is not as much as a crack fic as it sounds. TW: stabbing, coughing up blood, fighting
Scar To Remember: Mitsue wasn’t left okay after Overhaul got a hold of her
We Have Mic: Someone kidnaps Mic to get to Aizawa.  TW: Kidnapping
Don’t Hurt Ray Or Else: Even while with the lights, Virgil is going to protect his sister  TW: Morally Grey/Unsympathetic Patton, Outing Someone, not Accepting someone,  Transphobia?, mentions of fighting someone
Even In The Face Of Death, Logan Ignores His Feelings - a day to relax goes wrong when Remus decides to mess with Logan  TW: blood, stabbing
Trapped- Virgil gets kidnapped while out in the imagination.  It doesn’t go well. TW: kidnapping, panic attack, flashbacks, claustrophobia, implied pranking, implied fighting
Who Knew Sleep Paralysis Could Be Deadly?- Talent Swap AU with Makoto and Kyoko  TW: stabby stab, K-nife, sickness, sleep paralysis
Kokichi’s Sacrifice - Kokichi’s POV of Chp 4  TW: major character death, strangulation
A Well Needed Lesson - Byakuya has had enough of the Ultimate Lucky Student, Kyoko responds in return
Oh Look, A Yandere - Mic gets kidnapped by a yandere and has to try to escape TW: Yandere, kidnapping
Bad Things Happen Bingo Part 2: New Card, New Category
To Manipulate A Protector -Orange goes after Virgil? Or is that just a trick? TW: Kidnapping, implied fighting, manipulation, being controlled
Some Apologies Go Nowhere - after chp 4, Kokichi tries to apologize to Shuichi. Key word there is try
No One Noticed...- What if Shiro hadn’t been the only one Replaced? TW: Abandonment, heavy doubt, replaced and not noticed
Of All People Why’d it have to be Deku? - Bakugou and Midoryia switch bodies. Chaos ensues. TW:… cussing I guess?
A Broken Disc- Spoilers for the March 1st Tommyinnit Stream  TW: Major Character Death, Attempted Manipulation, Flashbacks
not again...: Nagito gets kidnapped...again  TW: kidnapping, locked in small place
Goodbye Green- Who ever said the Creativity twins were supposed to be separated?  TW: Morally Grey Patton, having to leave someone you care about
One Step Behind: Phil’s POV of what happened that fateful day  TW: Major Character Death, Stabbing, Bleeding Out, Explosions
Adrien’s Realization
Lila Bashing fic where Adrien finally realizes that ‘Hey what Lila is doing to me isn’t good’
Chp 1-  TW: Unrequited flirting, unrequited crush, Lila hate(?)
Chp 2- TW:Self doubt, bad advice
Another Path
After All Might tells Izuku he can’t be hero, Izuku decides it might be better to take another path to help people. Planned mix of actual story and chat fic
TW: slight All Might bashing
Prologue
Chp 1
Chp 2
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awkwardthings6 · 3 years
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For the fake tittle prompts, here ya go: “This is why we don't play truth or dare anymore”
hmmmmmmmmm
-A short oneshot, with a bunch of people who were friends in high school and/or college five or six years later. college.
-moceit, because i don’t give my reptile disaster dads enough love
-all of the sides meet up for a small party at remy’s house, who, unsurprisingly, is throwing the tired adult equivalent of a birthday bash, and surprisingly managed to be the only one who managed to keep in touch and stay good friends with everyone. 
-janus and patton have seen each other occasionally across the years, but it’s always been a bit awkward. 
-especially since janus has essentially been in love with patton since they met, and he told patton right after they graduated, and patton ghosted him. 
-just up and scadoodled out of there. he already had a job lined up, and he hightailed it to his new work that night.
-it was pretty clear to janus what patton thought of him after that. he didn’t bother going after him, especially not after virgil asked him off-handedly if he had patton’s new number. 
-a guy hating you so much for liking him that he changed his phone number? yeah. he gets the picture. 
-patton tried to apologize the next time they saw each other, but janus told him “it’s fine, okay? i messed up. it was stupid; forget about it, pat,” and walked away. as far as anyone else knows, they made up. 
-as far as they know, well... things are still rather strained. 
-but patton is there, at remy’s birthday, mainly because he and emile and remy are still really good friends, and emile is remy’s qpp, and so that works out. and janus is there, too, because he and remy fell into the same circles when navigating the business and fashion industries, and it just made sense to work together. janus takes care of designing products, remy does the business side, and together they’ve created quite the successful clothing line. 
-“i feel like doing something stupid,” remy says late into the night, when the credits are rolling on their third movie. 
-“like what?” asks remus, remy’s qpp, a mischevious glint in his eye, and that certainly doesn’t bode well. 
-“how about truth or dare?” emile, their other qpp, suggests. 
-“lame,” virgil says, but he’s already going to rinse out one of their empty bottles so they can use it to spin. 
-they all sit on the floor. janus ends up beside patton. it’s fine. this is fine. 
-though janus is swiftly recalling that truth or dare is honestly kind of boring. 
-logan spins the bottle next, after roman dares him to kiss him and virgil (”I am your husband, roman, i’d kiss you two anyways”) and it lands right between patton and janus. 
-“hm,” logan says, and janus remembers suddenly that logan is kind of an asshole, sometimes, when he says “why don’t you two go sit in that closet together for approximately ten minutes?”
-“oh, great,” janus says, but obeys anyways, because he’s far enough past tipsy to do just about anything. patton seems more hesitant, but follows eventually, and as roman closes the doors, winking obnoxiously obviously at janus, he hears logan ask “is that not a typical dare for this game?” and virgil reply “yes, love, good job,” in the kind of giggly sarcasm janus is used to hearing from him around his husbands. then the doors closed, and janus realizes this is the closet remus uses for voiceover work, which explains why it’s so well sound-proofed. 
-he and patton sit on opposite sides of the tiny room, patton staring down at his hands in his lap, janus leaning his head back against the wall, eyes shut. 
-“so... how’ve you been?” patton asks after far too many minutes. 
-“just peachy,” janus drawls, and opens his eyes. 
-surprisingly, patton looks much the same. on one hand, it makes sense -- he’s always been sure of himself, sure of who he wanted to be and what he wanted to look like, even back when they were freshmen and met when janus was so sleep-deprived he managed to trip over his boots and land in the middle of the street, books everywhere. “are you alright?” patton had asked, though of course janus hadn’t known he was patton then, all concerned frowns and grace even as he tugged janus to his feet. patton was a dancer, he remembers, and wonders briefly if he still dances. he certainly still moves like it, as if at any moment he could step into empty air and just keep walking. 
-“oh,” says patton, and another awkward silence settles between them, and then he looks up. 
-their eyes meet.
-janus had known, in a rather detached fashion, that he still loved patton. it was hard to imagine not loving him, this man who moved like the sky was just a floor not yet stepped on, who helped idiot strangers pick up their books, who attempted to play nice even with the guy who’d made things weird all those years ago. he didn’t want to love him still, but it seemed as if his heart didn’t know any other way to feel about patton. 
-“i’m sorry,” janus blurts out, at the same time patton says “janus, i-”
-“sorry, go ahead,” patton says, ever the peacemaker, and he doesn’t know why that makes him bitter, but it does. 
-“why’d you leave?” he asks, and patton bites his lip. 
-“i got scared,” he says.
-“scared of what? me?” that hurts, though he’d never admit it, but thankfully patton is already shaking his head. 
-“i could never be scared of you, silly,” he says, and for one glorious moment he grins, and janus can’t help but smile back. his grin vanishes quickly, however. “i was scared of... of what i felt then, i guess.”
-“for the record, you could have just rejected me,” janus tells him, and means it as a joke, but patton buries his face in his hands and mumbles something that makes his heart kick into overdrive. “what?”
-“i said, i didn’t want to!” he exclaims, and janus just stares at him. 
-“then why did you?” 
-“it was an accident!”
-“you rejecting me was an accident.” 
-“i panicked!” 
-he can’t help but laugh, then, and patton starts giggling, too, and before he knows it they’re both cracking up, if only because they’re both idiots. “why didn’t you say anything?” janus says when he gets his breath back, and patton’s smile fades again. he hates it when it does that. patton doesn’t look right when he’s sad like that, and janus would give anything to make him laugh again. 
-“you said it was a mistake,” he says. “when we saw each other next. you said you’d made a mistake. i thought you... regretted it.” 
-“no,” janus says, and then, impulsively, “i’d do it again.” 
-“really?” 
-“and it would still be true.” 
-“good,” patton says, “because my answer would be different, this time.”
-“can i kiss you?” janus asks. 
-when roman finally knocks on the door, it has been far longer than ten minutes, and logan grins in a way that says he knew exactly what he was doing when he made that dare. virgil throws confetti in the air with a remarkable amount of implied sarcasm for someone grinning so widely, and remus says, loudly, “fucking finally.” 
-“you planned this!” janus exclaims, holding hands with patton, and remy rolls his eyes. 
-“obviously, babes. now, can we stop playing truth or dare, please?”
-truth or dare isn’t any better in janus’ eyes after that -- it’s still really, really boring -- but they don’t have to play it in an elaborate ploy to set up their friends ever again, so that’s alright.
I liked this one so much!!! i love my boys <3
Send me a fake fic title and I’ll tell you what I’d write for it!
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dramaticsnakes · 3 years
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hey can we take a second to appreciate your fics because I know I always say you're a talented writer but I don't talk about it as much as you deserve. like, your stories? they're original and cute and well-written and honestly it's admirable.
the time loop fic? I remember that was the first fic I read of yours, and I was mad at school because it wouldn't let me finish it and I wanted to keep reading 'cause it was such a cool and creative idea. it was just great.
and the moceit ones? fluffy 🥺. I loved them sm 🥺🥺
the royality one? damn if i thought the moceit ones were the cutest thing you had written, I was wrong.
the anxceit one? gosh, I know you said that the idea was basically the same as the time loop one but the way it was written was simply fantastic.
the qpp moxiety one? gosh, reading a fic of my favorite ship written by you was something I loved. you made it adorable and so so so amazing.
and I also want to talk about AA! because holy fuck it's such a great fic and the amount of dedication that must have gone into it is insane and I just. admire you. a lot. ~♡
AJSKDJSGKLJDSKL Aaaaaaaaaaah 🥺
This makes me incredibly happy heart anon asjdklkal. God, you’re so nice. I’m really really glad you enjoyed reading my fics jasdklfgjl.  🥺🥺 I appreciate this (and you) so so much! Thank you 🥺
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thelowlysatsuma · 4 years
Text
anyways i am so fucking aboard the moceit best friendship train and may even be able to be convinced to ship moceit as qpps (or ship logicaliceit — what’s their actual ship name I have no clue aha — romantically. MAYBE) so anyways PLEASE word vomit moceit friendship hcs onto me I will be forever in your debt thanks I love you guys
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thesentientmango · 3 years
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Top 5 of 2020
Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!
Edwina (@edwinya) tagged me in this so to wrap up 2020 I’m going to share some of my favorite things I’ve made this year!
When The Sun Breaks Through
This is one of the shorter fics I wrote this year i think my range of wc was between 250 and 17550 and this one is 600 or so definitely on the shorter side of that scale. This is Logince and this was mainly a style experiment, although the actual fic is also good, and I liked the end product! This was one of my fics for soulmate september (which I still have fics that need to be posted for, yes I know it’s almost January)
Summary: Roman tries to ask for forgiveness after he messes up with Logan.
One of my favorite quotes from this fic:
Roman sighed and sank down against the door. “I’m sorry for not telling you. Please can we just talk?” Roman traced his fingers over the fading trail, there was still no response.
“Can you at least let me know you’re okay? Like physically not emotionally.” Roman laughed slightly as he wiped tears out of his eyes. “I get I kind of messed up that second option.”
Roman shivered as wind blew in through an open window at the end of the hall, but he didn’t move to close it. Roman just kept tracing the disappearing trail under his fingers, it was shorter than it had been before.
Meeting
This was such a fun one! It was another soulmate september fic, this one was Lomus. In this fic Logan is Virgil’s teacher and Remus, Virgil’s uncle comes in for the parent teacher conference! I was kinda nervous to post this one but I don’t really remember why.
Summary: Logan doesn’t want to meet his soulmate, he’s perfectly happy without them, and seeking out someone who will just be disappointed seems counter intuitive
One of my favorite quotes from this one:
Remus grinned, “That sounds exciting!”
Virgil rolled his eyes, “Dude you literally cut people open for a living, and dissecting a rat sounds exciting?”
Wait and See (It Won’t be Long)
This was a prequel to a fic I’d already written (also in this year) but I just really was a fan of this one! I’m working on a third installment to round out the series but maybe I’ll do more than 3 depending on how it goes! This fic is moceit with background Roloxiety (QPR). This is proposal prep, and basically just friends being friends and cute moceit moments!
Summary: Janus enlisted the help of his friends to plan a brilliant proposal for his boyfriend, Patton.
One of my favorite quotes:
Patton never claimed to be coordinated. He was quite strong, but coordination was never one of his strong suits, he was very clumsy and without fail would walk into at least one thing everyday. Of course part of that was due to his horrendous eyesight, and his glasses which were definitely the wrong prescription, but as much as Logan and Janus and Virgil and Roman and Emile and Remy and… well a lot of people told him to go to the optometrist. But as much as they told him to do that, Patton didn’t have time to do that! So he decided being clumsy wasn’t so bad!
The Ink on Our Skin
Yet another soulmate september fic! This one was going to be a one shot but I’m working on another chapter! The relationships in this is a bit more complex since it’s developing relationships and I haven’t quite decided who’s going to be friends, who’s going to be QPPs, and who’s going to be romantic, but the people involved are Logan, Virgil, Patton, Roman, and Janus!
Summary: Logan has never written to his soulmates, and they didn’t know he existed, and Logan had made no plans to ever let that happen.
One of my favorite quotes:
“Who says I’m gonna crash?” Logan said despite the fact that he felt like he was going to fall asleep at any moment. “I think today is going to be really productive.”
She shot him a disbelieving look, “Oh please. You haven’t got a decent night's sleep in weeks, and you’ve got a headache? You’re crashing.”
A Trip To Remember
This is a really cute one. It’s just the sides being friends! (Human au!) this is one of my all time favorites and it really fell flat which sucked but I absolutely love it!
Summary: The group of friends, Logan, Roman, Patton, Janus, Virgil, and Remus all go on a trip to a cabin in the woods that Logan spent a lot of time at as a kid.
One of my favorite quotes of this fic:
Roman huffed, and smoothed out faer skirt. “Well I’m ready as soon as Wannabe Beetlejuice here gives me back my phone.”
Remus stuck its tongue out, “Just because I’m wearing stripes doesn’t mean anything,” Remus was indeed wearing stripes. It had black and white striped jacket on top of a fishnet top which had a low v neck, and it was tucked into short jean shorts. Remus was also wearing some sort of platform flip flops that looked impossible to walk in. Remus stuck their tongue out at Roman as they continued, “Thou Puny Clay-Brained Side Character .”
Roman gasped, and stood up, their long red flowy skirt mimicking their movement. “How dare you! I am not a side character!” Fae turned to Logan, “Logan! Tell Remus to give me back my phone and admit I’m the protagonist in our family.”
Logan looked at Remus, “We are going to be stuck in a car with faer for over three hours. You will give back their phone, because I cannot deal with Roman’s incisive whining for that long.”
“Hey!” Roman cried as Remus laughed and handed back faer phone. Roman mumbled, “I wanted my phone back but I didn’t want to get insulted.”
As always, if you see this and want to do it, do it!
I can’t remember anyone’s url (they always change so much) do if you really want to do it go for it!!!
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siren1song · 4 years
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Hey man remember this thing I did back in December?
I think it’s time I do it again.
Honestly I’m obligated to start this out with @sleepless-in-starbucks because he gets so “offended” when I snipe him it’s like a requirement I do so. Great writing! Super understanding friend! Amazing person! I love writing losleep (and now!! Anxvi!!) for him because he just reacts so well.
And then!! @emo-disaster!!! One of my best friends!!! Who’s fics are short enough I can read them because brain is big dumb about reading lately!! And who’s recent angst made me CRY. Who writes rarepairs with me!!! And loves all of my content wholeheartedly and makes me feel really good about my writing!!! Argo ilysm!!!!
@yalltookmyurlideas has such good writing? Brain broke I can only remember Special Ramen but it’s. My favorite fic by them I’m so ahhh. Also! Really cool friend! I love talking to them! 10/10 would befriend again!!!!!
@ratherstarryeyed fuckin my brain is BROKE so I can’t read most of your stuff but the friendly competition on the server we got going on is so fun and I super respect how much you’re able to write for a fic.
Oh!! @gr3ml1n-loser did you know I love your art a lot? Like it’s so neat!!! I love looking at it!! And your moodboards are great and also you are great best chaotic punk sibling hands down.
@just-a-little-bit-gay-oops **SOBS** I LOVE YOU SO MUCH CROW. You’re art is stunning and you’re a really great friend and person and I stan you SO HARD. It’s also nice to have someone who agrees Remus is the hottest side /half-j
@sleepy-sides My new wonderful amazing talented adorable qpp who has drawn me literally so much art? Most of the content you’ve drawn for me I didn’t even ask for! And you have such a cool art style! And you’re so good with colors and poses and I literally have the sea eldritch Remus you drew for my fic as my background.
@rose-gold-roman Your writing is super cute!! I remember reading that moceit sick fic you wrote when we first became friends and I’m still super soft over it. Plus Shatter!! Oh my god Shatter I’m ahhh. Also super funny and sweet and ahhhh Logan ilysm!!!
@selkiesebille Sebi I love you so much and your writing is so good? You have such amazing wonderful ideas that I get so invested in and I love talking about them with you. There’s a boat load of things I could say about loving you but like I’m trying to keep this to about content so I’ll refrain.
@main-chive Your art is so good!!! It’s wonderful to see when you make it and I love it so much!!! Also your puns because honestly puns are an art themselves. I mean your art blog is art-chive and thats so!!!! I love that so much.
@max-is-tired Ahhh Max I love your writing so much? It’s so good!!! I love how you have characters interact and your dialogue flows really nicely!! I love you so much thank you for existing and loving my rarepairs with me!!!
@hold-my-hat Hey!! Hey Darcy!! Your art is super cute!!! And I love it a whole lot!!! And you intimidate me just a little bit bc I’m babey and easily intimidated but I’m starting to get over that but!! I love your art so much! I haven’t read your stuff yet because brain machine broke but when I can read content again it’s over for your notifs.
@firey-alex Did you know your writing is really cute and I love that you’re so good at editing? And it’s so fun playing Stardew Valley with you!! And your ocs are really cool and I’m so excited for your dnd campaign!!! So!!! Fucking!!! Excited!!!!!
Extra love for @gr3ml1n-loser because haunt’s getting a mean anon, but guess what! I stan you! You’re really cool and I love how excited you get over irish cryptids and fae!!! And I love seeing you just!! Exist!!!! You’re one of those people I go !!!!!!!! over when I see you online!
Oops this is basically just me loving all of my friends and partners.
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Sanders Sides Masterpost
This is a list of all of my Sanders Sides stories I’ve ever written sorted by platonic/romantic. The format is title-pairing-summary. Hope you enjoy!
Platonic:
Loneliness - Logicality - Logan’s feeling a bit lonely. Patton helps.
Moments - LAMP - A few moments cause the sides to realize just how much they care for each other.
Burned Out - LAMP - Roman is experiencing a creative burnout. The others help cheer him up.
Soft Comfort - Moxiety - Virgil’s parents are fighting (again) and he needs an escape. Patton willingly provides one.
Autumnal Decorations - LAMP - The sides decorate the mindscape for autumn/Halloween.
What Was That? - No real pairing - Virgil hears a spooky noise. Turns out he’s not the only one.
Where’s the Crofters?? - Platonic Anxceit/Platonic Analogical - Virgil takes the Crofters to get revenge on Logan. Logan tries to solve the mystery.
Trick-Or-Treating - It’s technically Pre-Logince but Platonic Prinxiety & Platonic Logicality - Patton and Virgil go trick-or-treating with their dads.
Christmas Season Debate - LAMP (w/ focus on Logicality & Logince) - Patton and Logan discuss when exactly the Christmas season starts.
Friendsmas Party - No real pairing - Roman throws a Friendsmas party (with bonus karaoke)
Exchanging Presents - No real pairing - The six of them (w/ Remy & Deceit) exchange their Secret Santa presents.
Cuddle Pile Heaven - Platonic DLAMP (kinda pre-romantic) - Deceit’s having trouble sleeping so he goes to cuddle the other sides.
Overwhelmed - Platonic Logicality - Sequel to Loneliness - Patton is feeling overwhelmed. Logan helps.
Frustration - Platonic Logince - Same Series as Loneliness & Overwhelmed - Roman’s having a creative block & Logan helps 
Romantic:
Pet Names - Logince - Roman flusters Logan with cute pet names.
Playing the Villain - Prinxiety - Roman and Virgil play heroes vs. villains. Roman has some doubts.
Llorona - Royality - Roman sings La Llorona to Patton and explains the lyrics to him.
The Sun to My Moon - Logince w/ background Moxiety - a product of watching too many Disney proposal videos
Soothing Strings - Prinxiety - Virgil can play the violin. This is how Roman finds out.
Loving Looks - Prinxiety - “Why are you looking at me like that?”
The Pampered Prince - Royality - Patton wants to treat Roman like the prince he is.
A French-Filled Date Night - LAMP - Logan plans a date for them. He speaks a lot of French.
Anxiety Performs - Analogical - Logan comforts Virgil before his first performance.
Playing in the Leaves - LAMP - They play in the leaves (tickle warning)
Halloween Hayride - Logince & Moxiety - The four go on a hayride full of festive decorations.
Costume Uncertainty - LAMP - Virgil gets a little insecure about his costume right before they’re about to leave for a costume party.
Pumpkins and Sunsets - Analogical & Royality - They carve pumpkins outside and then watch the sunset, all wrapped up in warm sweaters.
Afternoon of Apple-Picking - LAMP - The boys go apple picking and Virgil worries as usual.
Afternoon of Baking - LAMP - They take the apples they picked and bake several kinds of treats with them.
Fall Extravaganza - Logicality & Prinxiety - At a local fall festival Patton and Virgil make some crafts while Logan and Roman play some games for prizes.
Halloween Candy - LAMP - They go shopping for Halloween candy for the trick-or-treaters. You can probably guess what happens next.
Hocus Pocus Maze - Logince & Moxiety - They go to a corn maze themed to the movie Hocus Pocus.
Pumpkin Spice Promises - LAMP - Roman and Logan go to Starbucks to get coffee.
Friday the 13th? - LAMP - Roman’s had a bad day. Is it because of Friday the 13th or just bad luck?
Fall Pranks - Prinxiety - Roman wakes Virgil with a prank. Virgil gets him back.
Disney Couples Costumes - Analogical & Royality - They’re wearing couples costumes for a costume party.
Not-So-Spooky Movie Night - LAMP - They have a movie night to watch Horror Movies, but plans change.
Monster Boyfriends - LAMP - Roman gets home and they start working on dinner.
The Haunted House - Logince & Moxiety - They go to a haunted house.
Spooky Carnival - LAMP - They go to a Halloween carnival.
Rainy Sleepiness - Prinxiety - Rain is very relaxing.
Graveyard Photoshoot - LAMP - A graveyard isn’t the most orthodox location for a photoshoot. But it works.
Walk in the Dark - Logicality - Patton walks back home late at night after watching horror movies.
Telling Ghost Stories - Analogical & Royality - Patton gets the idea that they should spend an evening telling ghost stories.
A Ghost Hunt - LAMP - They go hunting for ghosts. Logan is skeptical.
Comforting a Snake - DLAMP - Deceit (Lyle) has a nightmare. His boyfriends comfort him. 
Horror Movie Night - Logince & Moxiety - Roman and Virgil play horror games. Their boyfriends comfort them.
A Picnic Gone Awry - Prinxiety - Roman sets up a picnic for his boyfriend. However, a certain Dragon Witch gets in the way.
Disney Villain Surprise - LAMP - They go to Disney for Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party. But something’s not quite right.
Angelic Vision - Moxiety w/ Background Logince - Virgil’s a regular at the cafe Patton works at and Patton happens to be crushing on him.
A Snow Day to Remember - Analogical & Royality - The four get a day off school due to the snow - much fun is had.
Holiday Movie Night - Logince, Sleepxiety, Moceit - The family has their first movie night of the holiday season.
Decorating Day - LAMP - It’s their first time decorating the mindscape for Christmas since they started dating.
Abundance of Mistletoe - Logicality & Prinxiety - The mindscape is covered in mistletoe, which can actually be pretty helpful.
Christmas Baking - LAMP - The title - they bake treats for Christmas
Snow-Caused Sickness - Analogical & Royality - Virgil & Roman end up sick after the snow day - Logan & Patton care for them.
Requited Love - Analogical - fake relationship for the holidays prompt
Snowed In With Good Friends - Logince & Moxiety - Logan and Roman get snowed in at Patton and Virgil’s house.
Give it a Chance - LAMP - Logan’s never seen snow before. Patton convinces him to give it a chance.
Time to Recharge - LAMP - Logan’s been stressed out recently. His boyfriends help.
A Perfect Day - Moxiety - Patton wants to pamper Virgil on Valentine’s Day but it doesn’t quite go to plan.
Patton’s Plans for Valentine’s - Royality & background qpp Analogical -- Usually, Roman goes all out for Valentine’s but he’s busy. Therefore, it’s Patton’s turn.
Untitled Kiss Prompt - Prinxiety - Roman gets insecure and Virgil helps out.
Untitled Kiss Prompt - Logince - Roman takes Logan stargazing.
A Disney Adventure - LAMP - The others find out a secret Roman’s been keeping, leading to a bunch of Disney marathons.
White Carnations - Logicality - Soulmate AU
Take a Break, Lo - Logicality - Short prompt fill
Not Quite Okay - Royality - Patton is sick and still trying to do his usual chores. Roman reminds him to relax. 
Missing Hoodie - Anxceit - Virgil’s hoodie goes missing, but he knows who has it.
Incredibly Lucky - Losleep - Logan and Remy are stargazing and Remy thinks about how lucky he is.
A Coffee For Here (So I Don’t Have to Leave Yet) - Sleepxiety w/ Background Roloceit - Coffee Shop / Tattoo Shop AU - Virgil’s the barista, Remy’s the tattoo artist.
Please Hug Me - Prinxiety - Roman goes to Virgil for comfort after Putting Others First
Wooing a Snake (Who Thinks We Love Someone Else) - Anaroyaliceit - Janus overhears Roman, Virgil, and Patton talking about their mutual crush and assumes they’re talking about Logan. 
Multi-chaptered:
The Heart’s Home: Main Four Sides / Other Characters; Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5,  Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8 - Patton gets adopted by Logan and Roman
It Takes Two to Tango: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Epilogue - Prinxiety dance/time travel au
Headcanons/Imagines:
Logince cuddling
Logan knowing French + Latin
Royality affection ficlet thing
Analogical ficlet
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loveceit · 4 years
Text
did y’all ever doubt that I have an AU problem
Ongoing Fics
Roman, Virgil, and Deceit Too (roceit, dukesleep, abusive!patton)
Read on AO3
Blessed Warmth (dlamp, soulmates)
Read on AO3
AUs with drabbles
Belief!Dee AU (familial anxceitmus,qpp kingceit, roceit)
Read on AO3
Local Cryptids AU (lomile, sleepxiety, creepxiety, roceit, tobus)
Read on AO3
Magic AU (anxceit, andy/dee, andy/remy, dice/deceit, rosleep, roceit, dukeceit, moxiety, logicality, intrulogical)
AUs without drabbles
Toddler Dee AU (background qpp analogical, intruality)
Space Explorer AU | Space Mer AU
The High School AU (anaintrulogical, royaliceit, mythological beings/cryptids/magical creatures)
Pride!Roman AU (roceit, anaintrulogical, unintentional unsympathetic remus)
Garbage AU (dukexiety, rosleepceit, demon!remus, angel!roman, tattoo shop)
Welcome to NightVale AU (intruloceit)
Become Human AU (roceit, remile, unsympathetic logan)
PowerSwap AU (anxceitmus)
Sunflower AU (familial thomceit, autistic!dee, thomile)
Parent/Teacher AU (anxceit, intrulogical, analodemus, kid!remy)
Crazy Ex-Boyfriend AU (rosleep, moceit, roceit, anxceit, loceit, dayd/real, anxiety^2, unsympathetic patton)
Tangled AU (dlampr)
Frozen AU (roceit, dukexiety)
Dead Spouses AU (anxceitmus, dukeceit, villain!roman, inspired by corpse bride/coco)
Monster Hotel AU (dukexiety, roceit)
Steven Universe AU
Pet AU
Hogwarts AU
Mythology AU (thviceit)
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wispandwhispers · 4 years
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Probably Prinxiety, maybe demus, you are probably soft for moceit or roceit
Demus is technically my next favourite ship, with prinxiety trailing next and your right when by the fact I have an extremely soft spot for roceit, moceit is more brotp or qpp
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spicycreativity · 3 years
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Fantasy au moceit fluff, for the ask thing. <3<3
Thank you for the request! And sorry it took so long to fill 😅
I went with a Mushishi fusion. The simplest explanation of Mushishi is that mushi are creatures somewhat analogous to fae/faeries and tend to cause chaos when they interact with humans. So it's Japanese fantasy, but it's still fantasy!
I could go on a whole rant about how Mushishi is such a great reflection of Japanese cultural Shintoism and how Janus as a character rejects that and Patton embraces it, which is a fun juxtaposition because Janus is the mushi-shi in this story, but I won't 😇
Anyway! It's a little under 2k, CW for very mild body/eye horror (Patton temporarily gets afflicted with frog traits that affect his skin and eyes)
The steep mountain path was neither well-worn nor clearly-marked, the ground a uniform carpet of deep green pine needles dotted here and there with pinecones. Still, it was a path Janus could tread with his remaining eye closed. A few wooden signs still stood, though they were mostly grown over with moss. Janus let them be. Very few visitors came to this tiny mountain village, at least by this particular path. He was more interested in the chorus of frog croaks that grew ever louder the closer he got to the village. He thought, though it was hard to be certain, wispy and ephemeral as they were, that the mushi were increasing in density, too. This place had always been a hotbed for mushi, even without Janus' presence to draw them near. It was unusual, he reflected, to hear this many frogs this high in the mountains. The croaks were now a maddening constant, enough to make him wish that he only had one working ear, instead of one eye.
He guarded that wish carefully, in case any mushi with the power to make it come true were nearby. 
He made it into the village unscathed, pausing when he realized that the croaking had stopped. For the most part. He looked around, rubbing his face against the sharp, familiar bite of the mountain wind, cooled further still by the nearby presence of a lake. Now, only one plaintive croak reached his ears. He tried not to let his heart sink, tried not to jump to conclusions, though he set off for the house where his sweetheart waited for him with an uncharacteristic urgency in his movements. 
The life of a mushi-shi did not foster close relationships, and Janus had long since closed off his heart to new connections. Growing close was a one-way journey to becoming hurt, as he could never stay anywhere for long. Yet somehow, on a trip to a lonely mountain village, Patton had slipped through his defenses. They couldn’t be together, not the way they wanted, but they had promised themselves to each other. It was an easy thing for Janus to promise not to love another. The challenge had been in entrusting Patton with his heart. But he had gotten there in the end. In the absence of a proper wedding ceremony, they had simply taken a scrap of the other’s clothing as a token. 
Janus didn’t bother to knock on the door when he arrived. Patton’s door was always unlocked, unbarricaded. To Janus’ dismay, the croaking did not stop upon his arrival inside, and several mushi danced in the corners where the walls met the ceiling. “Patton, love?”
“Don’t come closer!” Patton’s voice was high, tight with panic. “Just wait a second,” he added in a pleading tone. “I’m glad you’re back, but--”
“Having trouble with mushi?” Janus guessed. The singular frog croaks had stopped when Patton spoke. “Please, do keep worrying about how I’m going to react.” he tugged on the scrap of cloth tied to the straps of his woven backpack. It was old and tattered now, no longer smelled like Patton or bore the pattern it had before.
“It’s just…” Croak.
Janus considered. Whatever mushi had latched onto Patton, it was probably affecting his appearance, hence the hesitancy. “Come on, love, let me see. I’ll have you cured in no time.” He paused and thought for a moment. “Besides, it’s not like I’m a paragon of good looks, either. Maybe we’ll match for a bit.” This was only partially true in Janus’ mind. His own looks were inoffensive, but strangers tended to shy away from him, frightened by the piercing gold and slitted pupil of his remaining eye.
It was silent for a moment. Then came the shuffle-scrape of bare feet on wooden floors. Patton appeared at the end of the hall with his head angled downward. Even still, Janus could see the patches of mottled brown skin on his hands and cheeks. Frog skin. “We do match a little,” Patton said, forcing humor into his voice. He came closer and lifted his head to reveal that one of his eyes was now golden, with a horizontal pupil.
“Oh,” said Janus, careful not to tease. “That’s not so bad.” He cupped Patton’s face, gently running his thumb over a slightly damp patch of frog skin. “You’re still beautiful, love.”
“But you can cure it?” Patton asked.
“Of course.” Janus smiled a little. He hoped it was reassuring. “You’ve been poisoned by a kaeru mushi.”
“Poisoned?” Patton yelped, and a little nervous croak escaped his throat.
Janus patted his cheek. “If only you knew a deeply intelligent, highly skilled mush-shi who could take care of that for you.”
“If only,” Patton repeated, widening his eyes at Janus. The effect was somewhat dampened by his frog eye, but only somewhat. It was still enough to send a wave of fondness through Janus’ chest.
"Come on," Janus said, taking Patton by the hand. He led Patton to the kitchen and set his backpack on the ground with a light thump. The tight weave was strong, but it was beginning to get creaky with age, and Janus made a mental note to see about getting a replacement. "You can take it as a tea, although the flavor is more savory, like a soup." He opened up his backpack and began to dig through it. The paper-wrapped vials rustled and clicked beneath his fingers, and a few specimens brought back memories of his recent trip. "Here we go." He held up the vial and showed it to Patton. "It does take a while to brew. I hope you don't mind being stuck like that for a bit."
Patton extended a hand to help Janus up and pulled him into an embrace, mindful of the glass in Janus' hand. "I already feel better now that you're here."
"You know me," Janus said, nuzzling Patton's forehead. "I live to serve."
It was meant to be sarcasm, though Patton refused to take it as such. "You're so selfless," he said into Janus' chest.
"Patton, love, you are the first and only person to ever accuse me of that." It was true. Janus' bedside manner was objectively abhorrent, his patience for stupidity and stubbornness nonexistent. Most villages regarded him as a necessary evil, rather than a presence to be celebrated. He pulled away before Patton could get it into his head that Janus needed comforting. "Let's get going on the antidote, shall we?"
Patton nodded. "There's a patch of snow out back," he said. "I've been fishing, trying to make the most of it."
"Fish soup?" Janus asked, putting the pieces together.
Patton nodded. "You'll have some, won't you?" He made a point of looking Janus up and down, and even the golden frog eye did not diminish his look of somewhat paternal concern. "You work too hard."
"Again, Patton," Janus said, turning to examine the cooking pot, "you are the only person who's ever said that about me."
"I think I would know," Patton said definitively, taking Janus by the hand to lead him outside.
They held each other while they waited for the cure to steep properly, Janus wrapping his arms around Patton and holding him close. He rested his chin on Patton's shoulder and watched the mushi dance around them. He found it hard to regard them as anything other than vermin, little nuisances who made his life worse. The world was cruel and arbitrary and mushi were no more than a reflection of that, but he couldn't help but resent the situation at hand. Patton didn't deserve this.
As though reading his thoughts, Patton nuzzled Janus' cheek. "Are they here now?"
"The mushi?"
"Mm-hm."
"Yes." Janus pointed even though he knew Patton couldn't see them.
"Describe them to me?" A principle difference between the two of them: Patton treasured every living thing. He never resented the bears that sometimes stole his fish, he never resented the deer when they ate the flowers he'd worked so hard to cultivate. He cherished them. He cherished mushi, too. Even now, when the poison coursing through his body was turning him into one (though Janus had decided not to tell Patton that, thinking that there was no sense worrying him when the cure was at hand).
"They're moving around a lot," Janus said, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice. Though he harbored no love for mushi, he loved Patton dearly. "There's one that looks like a little octopus." Patton was not very well traveled, though he had gone to the ocean once. "And a few that look like worms. They're all glowing."
"They sound so pretty," Patton said, covering Janus' hands with his own.
"I'll bring you back some candles next time I go out," Janus promised, the idea occurring to him in one lightning strike. "And some lanterns made of colored paper. You can string them up outside."
"Oh!" Patton spun around to pull Janus into a proper hug, and Janus was careful not to stare at the frog skin now slowly-advancing down his neck. "That would be lovely."
"Lanterns are better than mushi, anyway," Janus said, his resolve finally cracking a little, "because they're actually useful."
Patton only smiled and brushed a few stray strands of hair out of Janus' face. 
It was around evening when Janus deemed the cure properly steeped. Patton made him sit down so they could eat together, smiling all the while, and Janus found any protest he might have melting away in the face of Patton's innocent kindness. It wasn't like the cure could hurt him, after all.
It took effect when they were washing the dishes with water Patton had carried in from a nearby stream. He stopped what he was doing and touched his face, already turning to Janus for confirmation.
Janus nodded, privately satisfied to see both of Patton's eyes back to their rich, deep brown. "Back to normal."
"Thank you, love." Abandoning the dishes, Patton pulled Janus in for a hug. His hands were wet, but Janus couldn't couldn't bring himself to mind the icy droplets that crawled down his neck.
Janus, who was incurably given to teasing, finally let himself off the leash. "Oh, don't thank me; it was for my own benefit. People would laugh if they found out I was in love with a frog-man."
"Oh, you don't mean that," Patton said. He had known Janus far too long, long enough that Janus no longer had to beat back the urge to flee like a startled animal in the face of such intimate knowing.
"You're right," he said, and he meant it.
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Text
49
Warnings: Implied noncon, teen pregnancy, guns, character gets shot/grievous injury, murder, vigilantism
Characters: Virgil, Roman, Janus, Logan and Patton (maybe Remus)
Romantic pairings: Prinxiety, QPP logicality, Moceit
Summary: Virgil Storm has had a normal life, as normal as it can get in this hell town that he calls home. People live every minute afraid of John MacActinson. Virgil’s no different. What is different is that Johns taken a special interest in him... and Virgil isn’t sure he could survive it. Roman, on the other hand, seems determined to give them all an early grave. Logan and Patton are along for the ride.
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