#average teenage boy behavior

[sonknuxadow]

reminder that this is what jets room looks like

#the clock that says handsome o clock. the signed poster of himself #the picture on the wall that was clearly a picture of him and sonic that he cut sonic out of #the garbage everywhere. the laptop he took from wave. the shirt. #average teenage boy behavior

[revols-headcanons]

dipper and mabel: piedmont life

also this is borderline a fanfic but i have no motivation or peer pressure to actually write one. also warning there are OC’s in this post. this is potentially part 1 of a series?

both of them are autistic but in different ways. dipper is a “i am so insecure of my place in the world that I can immediately notice when there’s a dip in a conversation because of me” who would rather be alone then face social rejection. mabel is a “i think im really good with people because i am so unaware of social cues that i think everyone is being nice to me” who learned how to tell fake vs true niceness.

neither of them were diagnosed as kids, and how they both figured out was due to mabel helping the disabled classroom at her school and noticing similar habits and thought process from them. then dipper did research and they were like “oh okay that makes sense.”

in their sophomore year of high school, they both had identity crisis’ but in different ways: dipper became an overly cocky ‘too cool for anyone’ loner while mabel had a raging emo phase. both of them became deeply embarrassed of those phases the second they got out of them.

in their 8th grade english class, they did a duo project where they explained their entire summer (the prompt was to tell a fantasy three act story). dipper did the reading while mabel did the visuals (aka one of those pop up books but bigger and with her sound effects). their teacher asked them where their vivid imaginations came from and they told some excuse about being bored all summer.

their parents (who i am naming ingrid and robert) are (rightfully) pissed and confused when their kids start showing major symptoms of ptsd and depression. stan has literally no excuse for it and the twins keep dodging the questions.

ingrid is a anxious, stuck up mother who prioritizes education while robert is the relaxed father who expects the world but refuses to give help or support. let’s just say the twins don’t stay home as much. especially after the disaster the first week at home was when the twins brought waddles home.

after the summer, mabel gets into the trivia club and also tries out the science/engineering/robotics club (she also plays soccer, golf, and volleyball). her arts and crafts skills become incredibly useful when making a wooden structure with the purpose of finding the exact angle and falling distance for a marble. meanwhile dipper decides to try out for both track and football (he’s also in photography club and the school newspaper). dipper is the weakest member on the football team, but he’s the quickest runningback they’ve ever had, so the team doesn’t bully him too much for it. he’s consistently in the top 5 for his school during track.

mabel’s first high school friend is a black girl in her robotics club named aubrey. aubrey has adhd and has basically the same hobbies as mabel (i.e: karaoke, shopping, dancing, art). her second friend she meets at theater auditions (for the school musical, into the woods) where mabel watches her do a 10/10 audition performance and compliments her. she is south asian and named kamini, and her interests consist of theater, soccer, and english. her third friend ends up being the emo loner boy that she talks to on the first day. he’s latino and his name is dante. his hobbies consist of skateboarding, karaoke, and video games.

dipper’s first friend ends up being the younger brother of the football team captain, which is what makes the team stop bullying him. his friend is this kind of egotistical, yet himbo nerd of a dude named ethan— who’s a white boy with blond hair and freckles. ethan is interested in soccer and track as well as trivia, and they met during orientation week when they were the only two kids being ignored for the track club. dipper’s second friend comes from his ap english class, where he watched them cuss out someone for trying to harass a girl in the class. they’re asian and non binary and they go by paine. they like chess, english, and dnd, which is why dipper gets along with them so well.

dipper is able to convince ethan and paine to start a dnd session together, with dipper as dungeon master.

mabel eventually forces dipper into joining the program and dipper agrees to be backstage crew. it works out fine until they realize that their play has an unusually low tryout for men so mabel begs him to tryout for a lead role. he gets it because the programs desperate. he ends up playing either percy or grover in the lightning thief, and mabel gets casted as clarisse/katie/etc.

mabel loves taylor swift (specifically red, 1989, and lover) and also doja cat. she dabbles in ariana grande and marina from time to time as well. dipper has nightmares when he hears mabel, aubrey, and dante singing karaoke for first time.

dipper listens to cavetown and mitski mainly before paine and ethan lightly bully him into listening to the arctic monkeys and gorillaz. he creates aesthetic playlists for when he’s monster/creature hunting. neither of his friends believe him when he describes super natural things until (on two separate occasions) he shows them videos of gravity falls shenanigans and when they run into anomalies in piedmont.

mabel ends up getting a crush on ethan and then dipper has that tragic disaster to deal with.

dipper gets a minor crush on kamini before he learns that she views him as this cute little thing to watch but not dateable.

due to dipper’s boost in confidence, girls notice him and try to ask him out. he gets really flustered and confused, especially when girls who bullied him suddenly want to be with him. he rejects them all.

mabel realizes she’s bisexual when she gets a crush on aubrey and has a mental breakdown about it. she confesses, aubrey says that she doesn’t like the concept of dating at all, mabel takes the rejection decently, and they continue being the best of friends.

mabel gets jokingly asked out by a football boy and then dipper gets so pissed off he punches the dude in the face (mabel had no time to react, because if she did, she would’ve also joined the fight). a fist fight ensues, they both get suspended, and no one messes with mabel ever again.

mabel ends up befriending nearly everyone due to how kind and considerate she is. even girls who hated her from middle school soften because of her. she is a god.

most people are neutral towards dipper due to how he doesn’t really initiate social interactions, but that’s how he likes it.

dipper is an avid buzzfeed unsolved fan while mabel watches danny gonzales, drew goodman, etc.

dipper is trans. he realized he was trans when he was like 8, and he’s been a boy since. he was mainly bullied for being trans, but ever since he got confident, learned how to kick ass, and started taking testosterone, people have left him alone. also his name ‘mason,’ he specifically chose to appease his parents (who wanted two twins with ‘m’ starting names that had 5 letters each), but he goes by dipper because that’s the name he would’ve actually chosen.

the twins have separate rooms at their parents house, but they keep accidentally passing out on each other’s floors (or on mabel’s beanbag, or at dipper’s desk). their parents ask why all of a sudden and the twins say they just got closer over the summer. they would never admit it’s because sleeping in the same room as someone who experienced the same trauma is relieving.

mabel constantly calls grenda and candy, reassuring them that while she also loves aubrey and kamini, that her gravity falls friends will always be her favorites.

robert’s favorite child is mabel because, although he has unfair expectations of them, he gives mabel excuses because she’s more art and people focused, while he’s overly harsh on dipper. ingrid’s favorite is dipper because he also likes puzzles, board games, and higher education, while she looks down upon mabel for being childish and irresponsible.

dipper refuses to give any explanation for having wendy’s hat instead of a normal cap. theories range from ‘he has a girlfriend’ to ‘he murdered a man for it.’ he also cried when a bully threw it in the trash once.

the twins have a bet for whoever becomes the tallest by the time they enter the mystery shack the next summer: whoever’s taller gets to pawn their summer chores off onto the other one for the whole summer. mabel gets at least 8 hours of sleep a night to help herself (though her diet is wack) while dipper eats a lot of height-growing food items to help himself (though he’s never had a consistent sleep schedule in his life).

#gravity falls #gf headcanons #gravity falls headcanons #dipper pines #mabel pines #mystery twins #pines twins #i had to google football terminology for this and ask my boyf a lot of football related questions with 0 explanation #anyways back to my headcanons #bisexual mabel pines #bi mabel #transmasc dipper #bisexual mabel #trans dipper pines #mabel doesn’t have to be pansexual you guys #and if the twins are supposed to be identical #identical twins are impossible for opposite sex #so one of them is trans #and dipper has a lot of sus behavior when in reference to his masculinity #like way more than the average teenage boy #also he’s not a misogynistic prick like irl teen boys #autistic mabel pines #autistic dipper pines #idc if you think im headcanoning every character as autistic #here are some neurotypical ppl: wendy pacifica robbie lazy susan gideon- #just dipper mabel stan ford mcgucket and soos are all autistic

[river-bottom-nightmare]

idk but to me something so quintessential about timothy drake is that he is your average american teenage boy and as your average teenage american boy he is viscerally and desperately terrified of loneliness. the way he latched on to every single aspect of dick's life in an attempt to be close to someone who showed him kindness as a child, the way he'll lower his distinctly bruce-wayne-shaped walls to let in young justice because once his friends know him they won't leave him, hell the way he somehow keeps up his friendship with ives despite all the times he's dropped off the radar. something about this child is such an achingly yearning beast which adores company that he rips through typical fantastical comic book angst and falls straight back into the behavior of My New Neighbor The Average American Teenage Boy in a way i don't think i consciously realized until recently

#guess who got a new neighbor family. guess whose neighbor family includes an Average American Teenage Boy. he is quite peculiar #hm. just musing. anyway #tim drake #red robin #robin #dc

[miguelhugger2099]

Teenager Miguel AU but it’s just TASM universe and you’re his gwen stacy

With one earbud in place, you gnaw on your pencil in thought as you try to understand your homework for the night. You had wanted to get a head start on your hectic pile of studies before dinner. For a split second, you wondered if Miguel would actually come after you invited him.

Your prayers had been answered, a dull thud sounding out on your left side. You turn over to see what had happened and notice Miguel kneeling on your fire escape.

You smile and put your pencil down, shoving yourself away from your desk and walking towards your window. You glance down at him and he looks up at you. Miguel gives you a cheesy wide smile, his sharp canines adding to his endearing presence.

You open the hatch and lift up the window, allowing him inside. “Hi.” You feel the heat rising to your cheeks. You stick your head out slightly and look back down at him to see he still hasn’t dropped his soft smile. “How did you…get up here?”

Miguel doesn’t take his eyes off you. “The, uh, fire escape.” He shrugs. “Your doorman is intimidating.”

“I live on the 20th floor….” You trail off, wondering if Miguel actually did climb 20 stories up just to avoid a simple doorman.

Miguel blinks and ducks his head as he enters your room. “It’s fine.” He shrugs again, wanting to move on from the topic.

He turns his head around as he takes in everything about your room. Pictures of friends and families, a small bookshelf filled with your favorite tropes, shoes casted off to the side. It’s all so…you.

“So…your room.” He nods in approval. He stands awkwardly like he doesn’t want to invade more of your space so he grips onto his book bag strap.

“My room,” You nod and stick out your arms in a vague direction. “Welcome.” You laugh awkwardly, your heart thudding and spreading warmth to your body.

“It’s—it’s nice.” He coughs and you nod again. He seems to remember something, crimson eyes going wide. “Oh! I, uh, got something for your mom.” Miguel slips his bag off his shoulder and zips it open, pulling out a flimsy and crumpled up handmade bouquet of flowers. They weren’t big roses, in fact they were average flowers you could pick at the park. Some stems were bent, petals half torn off and the ends littered with dirt.

“Oh!” You gasp and then giggle. “They’re—lovely.” You say sarcastically. Miguel laughs with you.

“They’re gorgeous right?” He plays along with you. While you stare at the bouquet, Miguel can’t keep his eyes off of the curl of your lips and the smile lines that deepened from his silly behavior.

“Beautiful.” You confirm but Miguel hides his embarrassment with the flowers, bringing it up to his face.

“No, no, no, no. It’s actually—really— amazing it held up like that.” You snort. Miguel stuffs the flowers in his bag.

“Y’know what I’ll just—I’ll keep ‘em.”

You rock on both feet while he wipes the remaining dirt off his hands. “Do you have your suit in there?” You ask.

Miguel freezes and snaps his head up to you. “My…my…huh?” He seems afraid or panicked? You couldn’t tell but it worried you.

“Your suit? For dinner? Are you gonna wear that?” You point to his battered clothes, dirt on his jeans and blue t-shirt with a black hoodie. “Not that it’s bad! Just to be sure—“

“Hey, sweetheart.” You hear your bedroom door open and your father walks in the room.

Both you and Miguel suck in a sharp breath. While Miguel steps back, you step in front like you’re attempting to hide him.

But your father has already seen the boy in your room. His eyes narrow at Miguel staring him up and down. Tongue poking the inside of his cheek in a poor job at hiding his annoyance of a boy in his daughter’s room.

“Must be Miguel.”

“Dad, this is Miguel.” You squeak out, fists clenched at your side. Your smile is tight and you give Miguel a subtle warning look that screams hurry up and make a good impression, we aren’t looking good!

Miguel catches it and takes a step forward with his hand outstretched. “It’s good to meet you, sir.” Your father shakes his hand firmly, pleasantly surprised at Miguel’s grip but his guard is still up.

“Nice to meet you. Dinner’s ready.”

A/N: this scene and the confession scene will ALWAYS get me.

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel x reader #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x you #miguel spiderman #miguel spiderverse #miguel ohara #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara imagine #miguel x y/n #miguel x you #spiderman 2099 x you #spiderman 2099 x reader

[gatitties]

Rumors

─ Tenjiku x fem!reader

─ Summary: certain rumors about a powerful girl lead Tenjiku to you

─ Warnings: description of unpleasant ways to die

Part two / Part three / Part four

"I'm telling you again, you have the wrong person…"

You murmured to some boys that had cornered you before you could leave through the great doors of your high school, the head of that small group looked at you, fed up with you denying being who people said.

"Don't be stupid! There is no one else that matches your name."

You groaned in disgust when you noticed his growing anger, you didn't want to waste your valuable free time, you frowned making the hardest look you could, your dark circles dimmed your eyes and you gave one last blank look at the 'leader' of the group. The atmosphere around you intensified, as if it were suffocating, as if you were capable of breaking the necks of these five guys with one move.

The legs of the teenagers began to shake from the personality change, your sinister face and your iron gaze were enough to scare them away, although they said they would come back to kick your ass, you and your so-called gang.

"My God, what's up lately with all the jerks looking for a fight?"

You really didn't understand shit, as far as you knew, this last month there were several groups of people asking about you, they wanted to fight you because apparently you had a powerful gang and your name started to spread like wildfire, you heard nonsense like you had defeated a group of twenty men without ruffling your hair, even while filing your nails.

You? fighting? Do you even want to socialize a bit? If beating people up counts as socializing of course, you had nothing to do with those things anyway, the only struggles you had were with your math problems and if that subject was a person it would have kicked your ass not vice versa.

You had to ask a few people from your class, some who were more or less trustworthy and not swayed by those rumors, yes, rumors about you, not that you paid much attention to them but man, painting you as something inhuman that would be able to dismounting people twice your size with one punch was a bit over the top, wasn't it?

It's not that you looked cute or flirty, that was the main cause of the rumors starting, okay you admit it, you don't have the best fashion sense and maybe you dress a little darker than the others, maybe what sparked the rumors was your impassive demeanor, and your shitty face, because you didn't like to get up early, who does anyway? You just get to class and everyone is greeting each other with smiles on a Monday at seven in the morning, shut the fuck up, you want to sleep.

Looking back, yeah, maybe it was a bit because of your behavior, another reason that you thought would be of weight was your honesty, harsh honesty, you didn't like to beat around the bush and you went straight to the point of the issues, maybe that made your classmates see you as intimidating, geez, if they knew you cry over strangers' stories on the internet every time you open Twitter… Maybe some people were even intimidated by your height? Not that you were a building, but considering the average height of the girls, you were a bit above that.

The truth is that you had to agree with some of the rumors, you are creepy as fuck, not only sometimes because of your disheveled appearance, but also because of some of your comments, you could make very accurate descriptions of painful or disturbing deaths if is that the situation made you think of ways to die doing something everyday. Well, it's not your fault that you're a fan of crime shows, serial killers, etc.

"I hope we're not wasting time with this."

"Calm down Shion, it's not like we have anything to do, we're all here for a reason."

Izana commented as he looked at the others, Tenjiku had gathered because Kisaki had been hearing those rumors, your rumors, they were looking for strong people and if you had what they were looking for you were definitely joining the group.

"Whatever, he could have at least brought his pathetic ass here too…"

"Nu-uh, I needed Sanzu, Mucho and him to do something for me, anyway, I think we're here now."

You were half asleep at recess, getting some rest from another night of tossing and turning, otome games were messing with your sleep schedule. You almost fell asleep if not for a slight jolt, you groaned but opened your eyes finding yourself face to face with lavender eyes that seemed to penetrate your soul, your mind assimilated everything quickly when you saw how they were dressed together, also noticing the others behind of the boy.

They didn't even ask for your name when you put your hands to your head, letting out a cry of despair because you already knew what they had come for.

“I swear to god, I don't have a gang and I can't take down twenty men with one punch."

"Well, most people don't think the same as you."

Ran spoke, balancing his weapon against his palm, smiling sadistically at how you trembled a little. You know that intimidating feeling, when you know someone is angry and they seem like they're invincible? That same pressure the boys felt when you got up from your seat, although it was only a defense mechanism when you were scared.

"Just leave me alone, I don't want or am interested in fighting, I don't care what you think I am."

Apparently the trick of looking intimidating didn't help, the guy with a scar on his forehead that reached down to one of his eyes approached threateningly, grabbing your shirt to lift you into the air. You screamed internally from the looks you were getting from everyone, normally the idiots who came to confront you would get scared ─luckily─ and you didn't have to run away, but it was clear that these guys weren't weaklings like all the others.

Since silent intimidation didn't help, it might help to use your twisted mind, hopefully you might scare them off.

"I would like to lock you in a coffin alive, bury you three meters underground, wait for you to die slowly, gradually running out of oxygen, when your mind fades your bodies will rot, I will dig the bodies up and feed them to the Insects more disgusting than you can imagine."

"What the hell-"

Rin looked at you with a grimace seeing how you didn't blink once in your little monologue, Kakucho's grip loosened a bit, lowering you back to the ground but keeping you where you were. You started to sweat, without letting them recriminate you, you started to talk again.

"If you don't like that death, I can also sedate you, empty all your bodies, without intestines, while you slowly watch each other as you die little by little, I will do it slowly playing with your livers, making your intestines into scarves, I will burn you and I will feed you to pigs."

Kokonoi and Mochizuki looked at each other in silence with disgust clear on their faces, Kakucho had let go of you taking a step back to Izana's side. Hanma had a small crooked smile, it was his turn to approach you, patting your shoulder.

"What creepy things you say to be a scared cat."

Well, shit, your words hadn't sounded with the usual impassive enough tone or your nervousness had been detected by this damned matchstick. You shrank into your site, feeling smaller next to him, you raised your hands in defeat.

“Non-verbal and verbal intimidation don't work, okay, I give up, but I guess you know that that shit was just rumors."

Everyone was stunned at the guffaw Izana let out after that, he normally kept that serious tone when he was in a group, he usually only let that side out when he was alone with Kakucho, but oh boy, you were too much.

“Look at you, trying to intimidate us while you were all scared! You know, if you'd made it clear, we would have left, but you're so funny."

"What? If you're saying that you're a bad liar, I could see how you wanted to beat me up."

"Oh of course not, I would never hit a girl-"

"Yes, you should break a leg for lying so bad."

You gave your typical blank face, much more relaxed than before, but still a bit uncomfortable with all the attention you were getting, not to mention someone still with their arm around your shoulders.

"Hey, matchstick, personal space."

It was the turn of the Haitani brothers to laugh at the nickname you had given Hanma, he turned away with an offended look, but you didn't care, looking at the brothers, without a doubt their laughter bothered you because they were the ones that scared you the most.

"I don't know what's so funny, eh, Bert and Ernie?"

Kokonoi bit his tongue to keep from laughing, thinking that if he did, he would be the next person to be attacked by your big mouth, however Izana spoke again.

"You go from completely shaking and trying to be brave to messing with us? Every time you surprise me more."

"Nah, I'm just being honest now that I know you won't break my legs, I'm not making fun of you, I'm just objectively saying what you look like."

Now they all fell silent looking at you, feeling as if you were criticizing them with a simple look, imagining characters similar to them to make fun of.

"Wait, does that mean that you associate us all with something or someone?" you hummed affirmatively at Mochizuki's question "can we know-"

"You look like an onigiri if you put yourself completely in front."

"What about me?"

Madarame watched expectantly as you narrowed your eyes at him, analyzing his stance, oh, you definitely knew what he was.

"Gay."

"Wha- THAT'S NOT EVEN AN OBJECT OR PERSON!"

"Are you saying that gays are not people? Pretty disrespectful of you."

"IT'S NOT THE POINT!" he complained for a few minutes like Mochi for their comparison, he looked at you again, pointing to the remaining three; Koko, Izana and Kakucho "What about them? What stupid thing are they?"

"Mmh…" you rubbed your index finger and thumb on your chin, thinking deeply, looking at the three boys "They are just handsome."

"Nah, this bitch is not being serious-"

Hanma prevented the blonde from hitting you for your comparisons, despite also being insulted, the scene was quite funny for him. Ignoring the little spat everyone started to have, deciding you'd had too much human contact for today, you packed up your stuff to leave, only someone stopped you before you left.

"Take this please, let's talk later!"

You blinked at the piece of paper Izana had given you, it was his phone number, you shrugged, you liked the internet contact better anyway, you took one last look at the group before disappearing, briefly greeting Kakucho, who went with the only one you caught eyes with, completely ignoring how his cheeks had some rosy tinge.

"Someone had a crush?"

"Shut up Ran."

#tokyo revenger x reader #xreader #reader #reader insert #femreader #tokyo revengers #tenjiku #tenjiku x reader #kakucho #izana #mochi #mochizuki #shion #madarame #hanma #shuji #anime #manga #kakucho x reader #izana x reader #mochi x reader #shion x reader #haitani #haitanis #ran #rin #rindou #one shot #sfw

[issuesntissues]

141 if they were dogs

and you can headcanon whatever breed, but this is just how their behavior would be to me :>

Price

the tail never wags

he is stoic, your standard guard dog

he basically lives for his duty, and then mopes on the floor

he doesn’t give any bite warnings, if you’re messing with him he’ll bite—

if he’s sleeping, leave him alone 😬

definitely not a family dog, but a good dog for loners or people who don’t have a lot in life

he loves raw steaks. if he is not fed raw steaks he will be grumpy

Gaz

Stoic like Price, but a calm approach and a head pat will earn you a small tail wag

a good guard dog for a small family!

he’s always on his feet but when he’s asleep, he’s out like a rock—

has an incredible nose, perfect for sleuthing

knows how to be gentle with small people and animals

definitely sleeps in the kids rooms

loves a variety of raw foods. must pay him the cheese tax

Soap

may god help you

he is hyper, he is built for outdoor activities

absolutely massive appetite, will eat whatever you give him and more (lock down your trash cans, and prepare to push him off counters)

if there’s something he’s not used to, he’ll chase it down immediately—

* always alert and vocal, if anything steps foot within his area of awareness, you’ll hear about it

although he wouldn’t be great in a family household, he gets along well with older kids (or anyone with high energy tbh)

he’s a working dog at the end of the day, and needs high activity daily exercise 🫶

Ghost

unapproachable— keep your hands and fingers to themselves

pure guard dog, and everyone can see it with how many scars he has

he has adequate hearing and smell, but impeccable eyesight

once he’s on the trail of something he won’t ever let it go—

eats nothing but raw meat of any kind (he needs protein 😳)

definitely not for any average dog owner, he’s handled by scary individuals

!! BONUS !!

König

a big dog, but he’s skittish—

was meant to be a guard dog, but got kicked out of service for being a big silly

has poor spacial awareness but an amazing nose

drools when he sleeps

if you have food, he’ll invade your space and take it (like a cow. look up a cow stealing food—)

definitely isn’t afraid to bite intruders (will mow them down and maul them if he wants to—)

💯 safe with kids of all ages (just make sure you have enough food, eats enough to fill 3 teenage boys. could eat a small human—)

Riptide

the most domesticated and least aggressive in the entire list tbh

love swimming, if he’s near any puddle or pool he’s diving right in—

excels at fetch, especially with frisbees

is the gentlest with kids, you can leave them alone with him—

has intimidating barks but they’re never aggressive, he’s mostly quiet—

loves the beach, gets all sandy and smelly ✨

has a good balance between guard dog, and family dog 💚

Keegan

you know outside cats? well he’s like that, only a dog—

comes back for food or if he’s injured/really dirty

he always stays near your home / around your neighborhood at night (he got a lil of that guard dog in him)

very quiet, never barks or whines, but if he’s fighting he’ll sound like a monster—

hunts rats for fun (doesn’t eat them though)

he would not be happy if someone took him off the street, he’s happy with his life style

#call of duty #headcanon #john price #kyle gaz garrick #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #keegan p russ #konig cod

[mothmanssweetsucculentass]

BEN Drowned headcanons

Finally I’m getting around to posting my current standing BEN Drowned HCs! The ask I got a couple weeks ago definitely motivated me to finish this finally lmao.

Trigger warnings for: Mentions of death, manipulation, suicide, drowning, violence, and the general mature stuff you should expect from the adult side of the Creepypasta fandom. There are NO CENSORS BEYOND THIS POINT. Read at your own risk.

____________________________________________

ageless/has kinda always existed since the internet has been publicly accessible

It/it’s pronouns, occasionally caught using they/them and even rarer he/him

Manipulative as fuck

Malewhore mansplain manipulate

Literally makes up a huge chunk of its personality idk what to tell you

Will doxx you

No seriously if you catch its attention you’re getting stalked

Stalks potential victims through the internet

Finds potential victims on forums and the “dark web”

Often goes after people who are heavily depressed and/or suicidal

Thinks it’s funny telling people to off themselves

Like fr its favorite hobby is basically being an average redditor

Probably the WORST mf to date out of all of my interpretations of Creepypasta characters

Gives zero shits about anyone besides itself

Seriously it does not care about you Y/N RUN!!!!!

Lies lies lies omg loves lying so much

Lies to get what it wants

Master “hacker”

If it’s stalking you say goodbye to any and all digital important things you have

Say goodbye to your laptop too

And switch

And iPhone

It’s all getting bricked by BEN if it finds it funny to do so

And it probably will

You like sleep? Too bad

Woe, nightmares be upon ye

Gaslighting KING. Deletes messages between you and people in your life on purpose

Has extensive knowledge of internet culture and video games

Knows every meme ever

Has created most of the “video game” Creepypastas as their own personal “proxies”

Sonic.exe, Smile.jpeg, The Princess, etc, anything inhabiting digital media that torments people, BEN is the one behind it all

Finds friendships useless but respects Slenderman enough to continue being a proxy for it

Got bored of tormenting the other pastas pretty fast, generally avoids them unless slender tasks it with giving specific info pulled from the web to the other pastas (news articles, police reports, locations, etc)

Out of all my HC characters BEN is probably the most serious/grimdark/gritty, I prommy not all my blorbos are as mature and serious as BEN

Takes on the form of a late teenage boy’s body, waterlogged pale skin, constantly glitching and dripping water. Speaks in at least five different voices/tones at once, including robotic AI voices

Only physically manifests to scare the fuck out of people

Stans Hatsune Miku

SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!

All these HCs are for BEN! Not Ben!!!!

Because after much deliberation I have decided that yeah I kinda do want some of the old BEN middle school me liked to fuck around with. So without further ado, here’s my Ben headcanons:

Created BEN as an AI program for when he can’t be at his computer

BEN is kinda like their “avatar” for the internet

He/they pronouns

Roughly about 20 years old, give or take a few years

Died in the mid 2000s

Sort of??? A ghost?? Like a fusion between a ghost and zombie

Like is obviously a corpse and can kinda go in and out of corporeal and non corporeal form

Has the skin tone of a freshly drowned corpse, but isn’t constantly dripping water

Eyes constantly leak and drip with blood tho. Tissues are scattered all around his room with his futile attempts to keep the blood tears at bay. Face has a “pinker” color compared to the rest of his body thanks to how many times they’ve wiped and smeared the blood around

Similar in behavior/personality as BEN but toned way the fuck down

Like. Still enjoys tormenting people but can (sort of) empathize

Still an asshole tho

And a pervert

And a stoner

And a gamer

He’s a discord Reddit mod irl. Scummy guy tbh

Not afraid of water, just afraid of water damage on their equipment

Lives in the mansion basement

Hasn’t seen sunlight since 2004

Introverted as fuck

Prefers to be physically manifested, leaves all the digital movement to the BEN AI but can enter technology if need be

Cheats in any and all video games you play against him in. Hacker aficionado

Y’all know those fits people used to wear in the 2010s of like, cargo shorts and legend of Zelda t shirts? Almost exclusively his fashion sense

Like yeah he does have the link getup but finds it pretty tedious to get into

Does enjoy scene fashion quite a bit tho

And EDM

electronic stuff in general is his favorite shit ever

Him and the BEN AI never physically kill people, just manipulates them into offing themselves

He’s a weak motherfucker he physically cannot kill somebody

Emotionally tho he would mass murder if he could

The one thing him and Jeff can agree on

Bi, and aro. Kinda too horny and despondent to society to care for someone emotionally for more than twelve seconds

Could definitely stand to make a few friends though, and isn’t opposed to conversation if he ever leaves his gamer basement

Currently friends with EJ, Jane, Liu, Nina, and Helen

Has a tolerable relationship/mutual respect for Masky, Hoody, Jason, Puppeteer, and Slenderman

Doesn’t get along with/hates Jeff, LJ, and Clockwork

Sally sees him as an older brother figure. Unfortunately he’s a bad influence on the kid and also has no idea how to look after a child, he just kinda goes “fuck it we ball” anytime someone puts them in charge of Sally. Has taught her every swear and slur known to man. Thinks it’s hilarious to put her on the mic in gamer lobbies

“Hey dude check this out” proceeds to show you the nastiest shock video ever

Semi-fluent in Japanese despite being whiter than paper. Unsurprisingly a weeb

If he owns a body pillow he keeps it hidden with his life. They won’t be caught dead cuddling up to something like that at night

The mansion’s go to IT guy. Against his will but unfortunately if he wants to continue living in the mansion (or living in general) he has to take this role lest slenderman eviscerates him for defiance

Both him and the BEN AI have a major superiority complex, he thinks he’s way better than everyone else and is the cockiest bastard mf on the planet

Stans Hatsune Miku

#ben drowned #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta #headcanons #ben drowned headcanons #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta hcs #ben drowned creepypasta #Ben drowned hcs

[kuwajima]

I see writers do different perspectives so im curious as to urs

Do u see Zenitsu as the shameless pervert type or the woman respecter type

I’m personally the latter but I’ve seen different ways he’s written

I love this question! Also sorry if there are typos, I’m replying to this at work lol

I don’t think he’s a pervert. The anime certainly plays up his “creepiness” towards girls but overall he doesn’t really exhibit really perverted traits. I think he likes girls a lot, is easily manipulated by girls, and lacks a lot of social skills that would allow an average person to not act like that.

I think the main reason I don’t think he’s a pervert is because Zenitsu’s behavior doesn’t seem to be sexually driven. Not that he isn’t sexually attracted to women (he’s a teenager boy and clearly likes girls) but he’s very specifically looking for a wife and to live a normal life. We know he was taken advantage of by girls over and over again (presumably at an incredibly young age!) with seemingly no reward on his end (he didn’t even hold their hands!) and yet he kept doing it! This happened multiple times before Jigoro found him! On a conservative estimation, that’s 7 “girlfriends” by age 14, but honestly I think Jigoro rescued him at a younger age (there’s no way he learned all that and also got struck by lighting. There had to be some down time…also I’m writing a fic about that down time lol)

Anyway, I get the impression that Zenitsu believes he is expected to get married and thinks that it will resolve a lot of his internal problems if he can behave like a normal person and live a normal life. But as an orphan, he doesn’t really understand what a typical family or married couple looks like, it’s all based on perception or stories. Zenitsu craves affection and stability and honestly, why wouldn’t marriage be the best way to achieve that? I think a lot of the behavior is because he doesn’t really understand how he’s supposed to act and doesn’t realize how is is coming across in the moment. Zenitsu knows people don’t like him, but also doesn’t seem to be able to stop his reactions. Despite being perhaps the most socialized of his friend group, although he understands what is considered polite or acceptable he can’t actually adhere to those guidelines himself. Sorry, this is now a tangent about my perception of Zenitsu’s behavioral issues. I actually did touch on this in the second chapter of my Zenitsu character study! Jigoro asks why Zenitsu wants a girlfriend and he answers in a childish way about wanting to hold her hand and live in a house with her.

He does respect women though. He has a beef with Daki because she hurt a girl! There are also zero scenes of him ogling women while undercover at a literal brothel (he does get flustered when they first arrive to the city, but again it doesn’t seem like he’s sexually excited, he’s flustered about seeing beautiful girls and runs off because he’s overwhelmed) which they easily could have added if they wanted to. But they didn’t, because he’s overall very respectful towards girls. Especially after deciding that he likes Nezuko (who he likes because she is pretty and because Tanjiro describes her as being kind, kinder than any girl Zenitsu has “dated.”) In the light novel, he also fully respects when a girl he thought was into him was clearly involved in someone else. He understands that he misinterpreted her behavior towards him and wishes her the best in her relationship. He doesn’t seem to hold any ill will towards his ex-girlfriend either. The anime has him attempting to flirt with Aoi occasionally (although she is canonically the only type of girl Zenitsu doesn’t like) which I think it intended for laughs but idk if it’s very effective. He really does seem singularly focused on Nezuko in the manga (and according to the light novels, there are plenty of Corp Members who fantasize about having another Corp Member as their girlfriend, to the point that it doesn’t seem weird that he talks about Nezuko “waiting for him,” although the other members don’t think she’s a real girl at all)

IN SUMMARY I think Zenitsu likes girls in a perfectly normal, affection-starved teenage way, but he lacks emotional regulation which makes him seem off-putting. But he’s not perverted, he’s just enthusiastic and we’re used to having perverted anime men in shonen and just expect him to fall into that category despite his behavior not really matching that trope.

I would also argue that he cannot be a shameless pervert because he clearly feels a lot of shame, very often lol

#sorry this is long I have a lot of thoughts about Zenitsu

[tayla-babygirl-ooo]

"Well, what's the verdict, Doctor?"

Tayla sat on the black leather couch of Dr Nikki Wood's office in Hampstead and fixed her eyes on the psychologist. Dr Wood slid her glasses off her nose and looked at her client with a smile.

"Well I think I can certainly help here, Tayla."

Tayla gave a slight smile back. She had come to Dr Wood as a last resort. She sincerely hoped she could help. Smoothing the black skirt of her business suit against her thigh she sat back in anticipation of Dr Wood's findings.

The problem was her son, Josh. For almost four years now the boy had struggled with depression. While many teenagers suffered from and dealt with the illness from time-to-time it had gripped Josh badly. His social life was non-existent, his grades had suffered badly. She had tried all kinds of therapy, but refused to expose her son to anti-depressants despite the advice of other doctors.

Then she had received a call from the enigmatic Dr Wood. Describing herself as a 'behavioral therapist' Dr Wood told Tayla that her case had been referred to her by a colleague. They had talked on the telephone and Dr Wood had assured her that she could be of assistance. Tayla was skeptical. She had run a successful PR business for ten years now and sunk hundreds and hundreds into therapy for her son, mostly with little effect. Tayla clung to the belief now that he would just 'grow out of it' so she wasn't about to be impressed by the woman opposite her.

Nikki Wood was around ten years older than Tayla. She too had been a successful businesswoman, but for far different reasons. She had discovered an entirely new way of combating depression, especially in teenage boys. Josh was no different, she knew this from the introductory interview. It was time to see if Tayla could be challenged.

"Tayla, it's clear that Josh has been suffering with his illness for quite some time, during the interview he mentioned something about secondary school. Was that where it all started?"

Tayla thought back. It was about the time he had changed schools that his regular dips into melancholy had begun. She had thought it was nervousness at starting in the new school and being around other kids from other schools, but he hadn't changed in years. He was now eighteen and she worried about him going to university.

The mother found herself nodding towards Dr Wood. The therapist nodded and smiled reassuringly once more, the look emphasized by her high cheek bones.

"You see the thing is, Tayla. With such long deep-rooted anxiety such as that Josh experiences, it usually has trigger, a focus that lies deep in his past."

"You mean, like his sub-conscious?"

"If you like, Tayla, yes." Dr Wood tapped her index finger on the pad in front of her. "Tayla... what I have to say next isn't going to be easy to hear..."

Tayla coughed. This so-called therapist wasn't about to blame her for all Josh's problems? "During the session yesterday, Tayla, Josh looked at your legs about thirty times over the course of the hour."

The mother's face took on a look a shocked disbelief. Stuttering she asked Dr Wood to explain herself.

"During the session, I often study the body language of the patient. Yes, obviously Josh's head was down a lot of the time, but the most surprising thing was that his eyes flicked down to your legs on average once every two minutes."

Tayla thought back to what she had been wearing during the session. A charcoal grey business suit, complete with flesh colored tights and her black two-inch pumps. Basically her work outfit. She then thought about Dr Wood who had dressed in a white blouse with a knee-length red skirt. Was he looking at her too? Was he obsessed with his Mother?

"What are you saying, Doctor? That Josh is suffering from some, I don't know, Oedipus complex, because I didn't come to you to have some half-baked Freudian nonsense-"

Nikki held her hands up to try and defuse Tayla's comments. "Look he looked at my legs too, we were both in skirts, remember, but the fact was he didn't differentiate between me and you, his thoughts - for all the monosyllabic answers he was giving about hating school and being bored with life - his thoughts were clearly somewhere else."

Tayla thought about this for a moment. Stared down at her lap, her legs, her fingers nervously intertwined. "So, what does this mean? He's a leg man? Should I start wearing trousers around the house?"

"Quite the opposite."

"What?"

The doctor settled back into her leather chair and smiled at Tayla. "You're his mother, you want to help him, don't you?"

"Of course."

"Then indulge him."

"Excuse me?"

"Young men develop sexually in all sorts of ways, however they can derive great pleasure from the unique ways that development takes place. Josh isn't joined to you at the hip, he hasn't got a 'mommy's boy' condition, it's fair to say it that respect he is progressing as per other boys. However you might find that his behavior can be improved by a little promise and reward."

"How- how would I start?"

Dr Wood smiled she had Tayla now warmed to her subject. "Take three basic chores spread out over the course of the week, let's say tidying his room, vacuuming the house and getting the weekly shopping. If he performs well he gets a good look at your legs. If he doesn't, well, you cover up. The point is, you have to take control and be in charge."

Tayla breathed out slowly. "Okay, I see..."

"Tayla, by modifying your behavior you could change your Son's too. Do you want him to be happy?"

"Of course... Of course I do. It just seems so... unusual!"

"Trust me, Tayla, it's a therapeutic technique I've seen time and again. Especially for behavior modification in young men."

"You've encouraged other mothers to do this?"

"Obviously patient confidentiality doesn't allow me to tell you about any specific cases... but yes, I've had very, very positive results and seen happier moms and sons as a consequence. Trust me, Tayla, once you begin to walk down this path, you won't be disappointed."

Tayla nodded at the doctor and then stood up. "I'm doing this for my son."

The doctor stood up from her desk and walked around, extending her hand towards Tayla. They shook. "Of course you are, Tayla. Of course you are."

In Josh's mind the conversation between his mother and his therapist had gone rather differently. He imagined his mother laid back on the couch of the therapists office, hair undone, her legs spread wide, skirt bunched up around her waist. Her jacket was wide open as her fingers played with and pinched her own nipples through the black satin fabric of her bra. Below her knelt Dr Wood, who was busy lapping at his mother's exposed and shaven pussy. Dr Wood's nails clawed into the nylon fabric of her lover's stockings as her tongued worked back and forth over his mom's clit.

He imagined her back arching under the assault of Dr Wood's lips and tongue, she was begging to be made to cum and Dr Wood kept her on the edge, grinning up at Tayla from time to time until his mother reached down and with a tight grip on her hair forced the doctor to keep licking her until she began to cry out, the release so close, flowing through her body in pulsing triumph.

The sound of the front door closing brought Josh back to reality. He pushed back his floppy black fringe out of his eyes. His other hand still gripped his engorged cock. His mom, the focus of his masturbatory session had been the one to snap him out of it. He felt a little ashamed that reality had come crashing in on his fantasy. Ashamed and annoyed.

Stuffing his cock back into his jeans he zipped up the fly and wondered what news it would be this time. More exercise? A hobby perhaps? Bloody yoga? As unlikely a cure for depression as you were ever going to find that one. The teenager slowly loped towards his door and ventured downstairs to meet his mother.

He was pleased to see her. He always enjoyed looking at her in her business attire. There was something, well, commanding about that look that lead Josh to admire her. As he walked into the kitchen he noticed that she had immediately gone over to the stool at the breakfast bar. His eyes drifted to her legs. Black tights today, he realized, her two inch work shoes with the square heel.

She dropped her handbag on the counter and turned to face him. She looked a little nervous, Josh thought.

"Well, mom, do we talk now or do I have to go back to see Dr Wood?"

Tayla motioned to Josh to sit on one of the stools and smiled. She popped herself on to the stool opposite and wiggled into position.

"No, you don't have to go back, Son. Not for a short while anyway... She's just suggested that it's not just you who needs to change their behavior, but I do too."

Josh frowned but then nodded. "Okay..."

"Yes, things are going to be a little different around here..." And with that, Tayla slid her left leg over her right and crossed them. Josh couldn't fail to notice the swish of the nylon of his mom's legs. His eyes shot down and he stared at his mom's extended leg in front of him. His eyes then returned to his mom who he noticed was watching him.

"D-different how?"

"Well, Dr Wood thinks you need what she calls 'positive reinforcement'. If you do something good, get a chore completed, perform well in school, you'll get a reward."

"Like what?"

"That, um, well, you'll know what it is when you see it."

That sounded odd, he thought, but at least this was something different and besides he liked the idea of visiting Doctor Wood again. The vision of Doctor Wood's legs flashed into his mind.

"Anyway you can go now," said Tayla. Josh nodded and hopped off the stool. "Um, are you going to thank your Mother?"

Josh nodded and stepped over to his Mother and hugged her. Ever so gently, Tayla moved her leg against her son's crotch. He didn't notice, enjoying the sweet smell of his Mother's perfume. He then let her go.

"So, um, what's my first chore then?"

"The obvious one, dear - Your room!"

Josh rolled his eyes back and then looked at his mom. His eyes flashed down to her legs once more before nodding and turning back for his bedroom.

Tayla watched him go and then let out a deep sigh. It was true! He had definitely looked at her legs, that damned therapist was right! Part of Tayla had wanted her to be wrong, to not have placed this responsibility on her shoulders, another part wanted her to help her Son in any way that she could. And then... then there was a tiny, little third part, the part that had been ignited when she had pressed her leg against her Son while they hugged and felt his erection through his jeans.

The mother put her head into her hands. Was this really happening? She had been through so many different methods of trying to help her Son it barely seemed real. Tayla stared down at her legs. She was 37! How could he possibly interested in her, with these old pins... And yet... yet he was clearly attracted to them, it... it could be possible.

Over the next hour or so Tayla kept herself busy downstairs as the sound of scraping and shuffling emanated from the floor above. While she tried to catch-up with some work email her eyes kept drifting upstairs. Could he be naked up there? She was losing focus once more. Draining the last from her coffee mug she decided to risk a peek.

Creeping upstairs, Tayla arrived at the closed door of Josh's bedroom. Carefully pressing her palms against the door and the wall she bent down and looked through the keyhole.

What she saw surprised her in two ways. One was that Josh's room was actually beginning to look tidy. Clothes had been removed from the floor, empty mugs piled with the intention of being collected and - was he actually dusting?! But more than that, he was dusting naked. Tayla could barely breathe as she watched him walk back and forth, his smooth body and cock standing out in front of him. He was erect! Her son was hard as he tidied up. The spying mother could hardly believe it, Dr Wood had been right. Being naked genuinely made her boy happy. She watched his tight bum cheeks stretch as he wiped down his desk. She stared at him and the stirring within her she had felt before returned. Her heart began to pound and reluctantly she pulled away.

Composing herself, Tayla walked back towards her bedroom. Dr Wood had been right, but what was the correct way to use the information? And more importantly what was she going to to 'reward' him?

Another hour passed. Tayla had spent most of the time sitting on the edge of her bed trying to figure out how or if this crazy therapists plan would work. Her son was clearly interested in her legs and loved being naked. And to see him happy... it was worth anything wasn't it?

Yes. Yes it had to be worth it. That is why when an hour had passed and Tayla heard her son dragging laundry and washing-up down from his room, she resolved herself to his reward.

As it was a fairly warm evening and so Tayla chose a cream sundress that fitted snugly against her body. It ended just above her knees and modestly showed the curves of her body. She decided against tights or stockings and instead decided to go bare-legged. Oh her feet she decided to wear a pair of tan sandals with a three-inch heel and cute little ankle strap. Checking herself in the mirror Tayla was pleased with how she looked. Casual, but still showing enough leg to give Josh his reward. She hoped this would work.

Tayla decided to think bright and breezily, it wouldn't be right to let Josh see that she was worried about this. She decided to visit his room while he was downstairs. As she walked in she shielded her eyes from the glare from the window. The curtains were open! This was most unusual. The room was immaculate. Dust had been removed from his desk. All his dirty clothing had been moved to the bin. The bed was made. It was a miracle. Tayla stood in the centre of the room with her hands on her hips, fascinated.

"mom?"

Tayla spun around on her heel and smiled sweetly at her son. Josh stood in the doorway in his t-shirt and shorts. He was looking Tayla up and down, he returned the smile.

"You did a nice job on the room, Josh. I like it, I like it a lot."

Josh was continuing to look at his mom's dress and legs.

"Oh that's OK... I just, um, thought, I should..." Josh's voice trailed off.

"Is everything, OK, Josh?"

"Yes, I- Is that a new dress, mom?"

"Yes, what do you think?" Tayla moved her shoulders from side-to-side.

"It looks fantastic, really, I mean... Are- are those new shoes too?"

Tayla raised an eyebrow. Well that didn't take long. "Yes, do you like them too?"

Josh nodded.

"Good. I think I'll keep them on the rest of the evening." Tayla walked over to her son, leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for cleaning your room."

As Tayla brushed past her son and went to walk downstairs she grinned. Her Son was smiling and that was worth everything!

The rest of the evening Josh followed her around like a puppy. Every room she went into, he had an excuse to be there. Tayla knew he was staring at her legs, but she didn't mind, the smile never left Josh's face. They ended up in the living room, with Josh pretending to read a book at her feet. She noticed him staring at her legs four, maybe five times.

It was midnight when Tayla awoke in her bed and heard the heavy, fast breathing of her son, slapping his cock hard in his bedroom. Tayla felt her fingers drift down her body to her pussy. Guiltily the mother began to masturbate to the sound of her son doing the same.

Nikki Wood set the phone to speaker and stood up. It was late on Tuesday evening, two days since her conversation with Tayla. The therapist was dressed in a close fitting red sweater and jeans. She walked over to the window in her low heeled black sandals and turned the handle on the venetian blinds. The slid shut blocking out the evening sunlight. Nikki had sent her assistant home half an hour ago, but she wasn't yet done for the day. She still had Josh to see. Dr Wood smiled at the thought of his lithe eighteen year old body.

Hitting the preset dial button on the phone she peeled off the sweater letting her breasts bounce pleasingly in front of her. Her Agent Provocateur bra held her breasts together firmly. The french chantilly lace that edged the bra was feminine and arousing. Her husband didn't know she owned it.

The phone began to ring as Nikki began to unbutton the jeans. She heard her husband pick up.

"Hello?"

"Oh hello darling, it's me."

"Hey, how're you doing?"

"Good thanks, really busy..." Nikki shrugged off the jeans revealing her her still pert bottom, framed by the Agent Provocateur panties that matched her bra. She kicked her sandals over to the corner of the room.

"... this report I'm writing really is taking ages, the end is not yet in sight!"

As Nikki walked over to the filing cabinet behind her she rolled her eyes at her husband's dull platitudes and dry words of encouragement. Unlocking the cabinet she took out the Harrods bag inside and walked back to the desk.

"Yes, well there's still time for me to get my submission into the BPS, but you know what the submissions board is like..." Nikki reached into the bag and pulled out the matching Fifi suspender belt. She wrapped it around her waist and fastened it around her. "Yes, but you know what they're like, it needs to be peer-reviewed to within an inch of its life." She listened to her husband's agreement, it was always the same, he was probably thinking about the golf course instead. She opened up the packet of Cassandra stockings from Secrets in Lace. She felt a little thrill as she touched the nylon.

"Anyway I'm going to be home late, I was thinking we could have left-over pasta..." Nikki leaned against the desk and pulled the rolled-up stocking over her foot. As she slid the stocking up her leg she listened to her husband moan about the cold pasta suggestions. Poor baby, she thought. She clipped the first stocking in place smoothing it around her thigh. Honestly, he was such a bore sometimes, she wondered what she'd seen in him all those years ago. The second stocking went on to her other foot as she did her best impression of giving a damn. As her husband droned on she stepped into the black mini skirt and wriggled her bottom and waist inside it. It ended just below the stockingtops, that should get his attention, she thought.

She began to wind-down the conversation with her husband as she stepped into the pair of Christian Louboutin new Piaf pumps, deep black and shiny and admired them on the ends of her long legs.

"Alright darling, well you know I'll be late so don't worry, I'll be back by eight." Nikki pulled the tight-fitting halter top head and smoothed it down her body. The deep neck showed off her cleavage beautifully.

Her husband told her he loved her and she told him so as well as she removed the lipstick from her handbag. She quickly shut-off the phone and went to the mirror to touch-up her lips. Mmm, she thought, dressed to kill.

The buzzer went on her desk.

"Hi, Doctor, it's Josh."

"Come on up," Nikki replied. She tidied the bags from her desk and then moved her chair around to the black couch. She wanted him to have a direct view of her legs.

Sitting down she stared at the office door. 'Swishhhhh' went her legs as she crossed one over the other and the silky nylon rubbed against itself.

A few seconds passed and Nikki picked up her notepad and pen. Then the door opened and Josh walked in.

He stopped and stared. Success! thought Nikki. The awkward teen shuffled into the room.

"Hi D-Doctor..."

"Hello, Josh, please, be seated." Nikki indicated the couch. "You can take your coat off."

Josh carefully unzipped his jacket and placed it on the hatstand in the corner. He couldn't take his eyes off of her brown nylons, her black shiny heels. He perched on the edge of the couch and looked to Nikki.

"So tell me, Josh, how have you been the last few days?"

"Good, good I think."

"You think? I want feelings not thoughts, Josh. How have you felt?" On the final word Nikki ran her fingers over her stocking-covered knee and immediately caught Josh watching her leg.

"I've been, um, happier."

"Really?" Nikki raised both eyebrows. I bet you've been happy you little wanker, masturbating over your mother's legs. "Well, why do you think that is?"

Josh fidgeted on the edge of the couch. "I, um, don't know."

Nice try, thought Nikki. "I see..." Nikki took the opportunity to recross her legs. Josh once again stared at the sight in front of him. "Josh, I think it's time to discuss your fetishes."

"What?" The word 'fetishes' had snapped Josh's gaze up to meet hers. He was becoming noticeably redder in the face.

"Your fetishes, Josh, your desires, the things that keep you awake at night, that you... masturbate to. You like to stare at women's legs don't you?"

The question clearly caught Josh off guard, he didn't know where to look. "N-no, I-"

Nikki leaned forward in the chair and stared at him intently. "You were looking at my legs in our session the other day, you've been staring at my legs since you came in. I'm willing to bet you even stare at your Mother's legs, don't you?"

Josh was shivering, he began to wring his hands and stare at the floor. Nikki seized her chance.

Standing up she stepped in front of Josh and brought her hand to down to his cheek. She tilted up his head so his gaze met her thighs. "Josh, it's alright to look at a woman's legs...look, not ogle... after all, legs to lead somewhere."

Josh continued to evade her gaze. She sat down next to him and once again crossed her legs with emphasizing the noise of the nylon rubbing together. She put her arm around the boy.

"It's OK, Josh, it's alright to have those feelings. We understand. Lots of boys get fetishes about legs or nice, shiny high heels..." Nikki flexed her foot and smiled as Josh stared at the sexy shoe. "You see, Josh, I'm willing to bet that as you were growing up, your Mother wore high heels a lot and you, naturally played at her feet a lot and because sexual fetishes develop when you're young, you associate the heels, the legs with feeling good..." Nikki squeezed his arm. "Josh, this room, this is a safe space and anything that happens in here, remains confidential, even between your Mother and I, understand?"

Josh finally looked up at Nikki and nodded.

"Good boy, anything that happens here will remain our secret then." Nikki put down her notepad and turned towards Josh. She placed her hand on his knee. "Josh, during our session the other day you talked, or rather mombled, about feeling constrained, on edge... Tell me, when you're at home do you like to be naked a lot?"

The boy momentarily seemed to turn another shade of red. He nodded slowly.

Once again, Nikki smiled with reassurance. "Would you like to be naked now, Josh? Remember it's just us here, anything goes."

Josh gasped. Nikki watched him trying to process what she had just said. "It's OK, sweetie, like I said, anything can happen here and no one will ever know. OK?"

She felt his body relax, he was now his to do whatever she wanted with. Nikki felt the familiar thrill. She was going to break him, she was going to make him bend to her will.

Very slowly, Nikki reached down and gripped the edges of Josh's t-shirt. In one deft movement she peeled the shirt from his body. She smiled at his pale, unblemished body. His torso was average for his age, muscles developing well, but certainly not too bulky. Just how Dr Wood liked them.

"Stand up, Josh, " she pointed in front of her. Nervously the boy got up and stood in front of Nikki. "Shoes and socks off please."

Josh complied, putting his socks in to his trainers and stashing them under the couch.

"Good boy, now..." Nikki's fingers deftly went to his jeans button. She felt his body stiffen. Carefully she undid the top of the jeans and then slowly pulled down the zip of his flies. Josh's cock popped straight out in front of Nikki's face.

"S-sorry!" stammered the boy. Nikki simply smiled up at him.

"It's OK, Josh, remember anything that happens here is our secret..." Nikki then yanked the jeans down his legs and motioned for him to step out of them. "Now we don't need your nasty boxer shorts do we? Do you want me to take them off or are you going to be a big boy and do it yourself?"

"I'm not sure..." he was going bright red.

"Nonsense!" replied Nikki in her best school teacher voice and promptly pulled the shorts down to Josh's ankles. She grinned at the sight of his cock, all red and thick. Nikki decided not to waste time. "Now let's see how your cock and balls are progressing." Her fingers went up to his balls and squeezed them. Josh gasped. "Hmm these seem nice and full, no obvious problems here..." Nikki then wrapped her hand around Josh's cock.

"Oh!" the boy blurted out. Nikki continued to examine the young cock in front of her and smiled as she did so.

"What a lovely young cock and balls you have, Josh. The sort any mother would be proud of!" At the mention of 'mother' she felt Josh's cock pulse in her hand. "Oh my, Josh, I clearly see the effect mentioning mommy has on you." She squeezed his cock once more. "Kneel down, please, Josh."

Josh seemed so dazed that he simply complied with her instruction rather than question it. Nikki put both of her feet on the ground and drew her knees together. She then instructed Josh to put her head on her lap.

It was a well-used technique for Nikki. Not all boys needed the rod of iron, many simply needed the loving caress of her hand. She told Josh to get nice and close. He did so and sighed as he felt the nylon of her legs across his naked body.Nikki had let her skirt ride up her thighs a little and she pressed his head against the stretched material. Her fingers found his hair and she stroked it lightly.

"Poor lost little boy, all alone in the world. All you want is to be loved isn't it? Especially by mommy? Hmm? Isn't that right? Yes, of course it is. You need her to make you feel good and you know you'll be such a good boy if she did that for you. You must be so confused when mommy's legs or titties get your little soldier all hard. Well, it's OK, Josh. It's OK to feel like that. Your mommy knows how you feel, she understands and I think we're going to be able to make her do something about it... You see, Josh, these feelings you have aren't going to go away. You think you'll go to university and get a job, meet a girl and get married, but these feelings you have now they never leave you, you'll always have them. They're too deeply ingrained in your psyche to disappear. Most women don't understand. They'll think you're odd or a mommy's Boy for having your desires, but you're not, Josh. On the contrary, Josh, you're going to make a lot of women very happy indeed, starting with mommy, especially with mommy, Josh..."

Nikki looked down grinned. Josh was crying, silently, but his tears were splashing on to her stockings, staining them.

"It's OK, baby, it's OK... you've been so depressed and angry for so long, haven't you? But I know what you need, I've always known and now mommy's going to know too. Come up and sit next to me, Josh..."

Looking up, Josh blinked away tears from his eyes and sat down to Nikki. She turned to his, caressed his face with her hand and then kissed him lightly on the lips. With a Swishhhhh she crossed her legs and flexed her high heeled foot. Josh watched fascinated. Pleased with his reaction, Nikki pulled her black halter top over her head and let Josh get an eyeful of her 34DD breasts, held by the pretty, small bra.

"Head here please, Josh." Nikki pulled his head to her chest. He whimpered. "Concentrate on my high heels." Josh stared at her sexy legs and heels. Nikki then reached down and grabbed his cock. The boy yelped. "Don't fidget please, Josh."

Nikki knew that a firm grip insured compliance. She began to jerk Josh's cock up and down, squeezing at the base and pulling it back and forth.

"That's it, Josh, just stare at my legs, like mommy's legs aren't they? I bet mommy doesn't have shoes as nice as this though, does she? Don't worry, we'll make sure she gets some. You like my sexy stockings as well don't you? All naughty little boys do, you know. I like to catch them staring at my sexy, long, stockinged legs..." She punctuated each word with an increasingly sharp tug on his swollen prick. He moaned and gasped as she jerked him off, his whole body seemed coiled and restrained, begging for release. She increased her pace on his cock. "Come along, Josh, make your nasty mess on me!"

Josh's cock spluttered and then exploded with cum all over Nikki's stockinged thighs. The white liquid flew from his cock and splashed all over her legs. Josh cried out with pleasure and relief, his face pushed against Nikki's full breasts as she tightly gripped the pulsing cock. He couldn't stop, more and more cum splattered over her.

"Good boy," remarked Nikki. "Very good boy. That was a good cum... There... It feels better now, yes? Trust me, your next one will be even greater, young man..."

[lollytea]

do you think everyone else in the hexsquad knows about Hunter's crush on Willow? and/or vice versa, maybe? even that there's something happening but it's a slow and tentative thing that they shouldn't push or meddle in? like Hunter is valiantly trying not to be painfully flustered and obvious around the others while Willow seems to be making some attempt to be subtle and deliberate about when she does The Flirts and i'm curious how much either of them they're succeeding

I've been thinking about it and I believe the most logical conclusion based on what we know from Thanks to Them is that they all know to some extent but their level of knowledge varies depending on the person. But one tidbit that they are all very aware of is Hunter's painfully obvious crush on Willow. They're just. Politely ignoring it.

Because like. I think if this was a thing they knew and made their business, Thanks of Them would have at least given one example of them giving him looks or making some comment alluding to it. There's none of that. Which could mean that none of them actually know. But...c'mon...

Like how the fuck is he hiding this? Realistically speaking. He goes bright red when Willow does anything. There is no way he's been doing that for months with not a single person noticing.

So I figure that while Willow's feeling might be a little more subtle and not everybody is entirely certain of them, one thing they can all agree on is Hunter.

I imagine that it's kinda similar to Willow and Gus's reaction when lumity was developing. Like they knew but they let Luz and Amity figure it out for themselves rather than get involved.

Vee would absolutely clock Hunter as a hopeless girl liker immediately. Like she's been having a pleasantly slice-of-life teenage experience these last few months while her sister has been fighting for her life. Vee hangs around with her average teen friends, she watches TV, she's sniffed around online. Vee sees like twelve stupid crushing teenage boys on her morning route to the supermarket alone. Like she knows the drill.

I also kinda like the thought that she knows about Willow's crush too. Their friendship in Thanks to Them is so cute so I really like to headcanon they often hang out when Lumity and the Menace Brothers are off doing their own thing. So they're having giggly little private talks and idk brushing each others hair or whatever. So Vee knows about Willow's feelings because Willow told her. Like she's gotta be a gushing teenage girl about Hunter to somebody and honestly I can't think of a more perfect candidate than Vee.

It would be cute if Vee was the reason Willow really started stepping up her flirting game. Like she thinks Hunter might like her but she's still not certain, and Vee offers her opinion that he most definitely does. With that certainty in mind, Willow gets a little bolder in how she approaches her interactions with him and eventually starts to pick up that Vee was right. He is absolutely reciprocating. It's simply a matter of waiting until he's ready to flirt back.

Love to think that Gus cares the least about this shit but he's also cursed to be the most perceptive of the group. Labyrinth Runners reveals that he's very good at reading even the subtler emotions of both Hunter and Willow. So neither of them told him but he's known since the day they fucking met. He actually caught on to Willow's strange shift in behavior first during the events of ASIAS and it wasn't until he became more familiar with Hunter better that he realized it was mutual.

But like. He doesn't really care. It doesn't bother him really but he's not exactly bursting with excitement over it. He figures if he just leaves them to it, they'll eventually sort out what they are to each other. That's what happened with Luz and Amity anyway.

I feel like he would never make a big deal about it. But based on "You wanna borrow my library card to visit Amity, don't you?" being his way to saying he knew that lumity had something going on, he'd definitely just drop it in casual conversation. Which scares the absolute shit out of Hunter. Like

"Hey Hunter, Camila's got groceries in the trunk. Help us bring them in."

"Oh sure, no problem."

"But please don't do that thing where you try to carry four bags at once. It never ends well."

"That was one time!"

"Yeah and Willow's already out there so there's bound to be a second time. Your crush on her makes you do stupid stuff."

"MY WHA T????"

So yeah Gus doesn't bring it up often. But whenever he does, it startles Hunter terribly. Based on the whole lumity cookbook thing, he's nice enough that he'd try to help every now and again. He's not exactly good at it. And he doesn't do much. But he helps. And Hunter is already at a complete loss on what to do so he'll just blindly follow whatever advice Gus gives him. This leads to him gifting Willow a cookie tin of dirt. (She liked it so Hunter has not disowned Gus as his wingman just yet.)

When it comes to Willow, it'd be post ASIAS-pre LR where they'd just be at school, eating lunch and Willow is glued to her scroll.

"Are you all smiley and giggly because you're texting the Golden Guard?" Gus asks boredly.

Willow looks up, surprised. Then she smirks. "And if I am?"

"I'm not gonna say anything but I'm gonna be pretty "Hmmm" about it."

Willow just laughs. "What if I said he was cute."

"Girl..."

But now that Gus and Hunter are besties, he is also equipped to help Willow along. Of course, Willow doesn't exactly need help. She's actually doing perfectly fine on her own. But yknow he'll occasionally feed her information. Like "Okay okay there's this one line from Cosmic Frontier. Write this down, it's like--I said write it down. It's like his weakness. He's quoted it a billion times today alone. If you say it, I promise you he'll swoon. Trust me on this."

Hunter did swoon so Gus has not lost Willow's wingman privileges either.

Amity is just not very observant to others' feelings a lot of the time unless they make them explicitly obvious. I feel like this is especially true with Willow who she loves but doesn't always have the best read on. Like Amity was completely oblivious to Willow's frustration with her in LR so it's safe to say she doesn't really understand her inside and out. And that's fine, she needs some time to get to know the real Willow. So yeah she wouldn't really notice that Willow has a crush on Hunter unless it is point blank explained to her.

It also never even crosses her mind that Willow could possibly be attracted to Hunter. That anybody could be attracted to Hunter. Because frankly Hunter is the most romantically unappealing creature Amity has ever beholded. And she does not mean that in a mean way. It is simply fact. So the eyes she's giving Willow during the cosplay scene is just complete bewilderment because she cannot comprehend why Willow is encouraging this.

Like girl, she wants to smooch his stupid face. Keep up.

But there is no discernable way Amity does not see herself in Hunter. He is tomatoing all over the place. Like it doesn't matter now unobservant she is. This shit is impossible to miss. But quite honestly, I think Amity understanding what he's going through would lead to her not saying a word about it. Like he's clearly still in the very emotionally muddled stage. He's figuring out what he's feeling. He's coming to terms with it. So maybe he'd like to get a better understanding of it before his friends are pressuring him into making a move/confessing. And she gets that it's a very vulnerable way to feel. Sometimes you want to feel like you have some privacy over your emotions, even when you know you're very bad at hiding them. It's not Hunter's fault he's prone to blushing and displaying his crush for the world to see. But he has a right to keep it to himself until he's ready to talk about it. Amity respects that.

When it comes to Luz, I originally saw it as her being too focused on returning to the Boiling Isles to notice that something was developing. But after Thanks to Them, I see it differently. Over these last few months, Luz and Hunter have had this secret bubble between the two of them that nobody else knows about. Obviously they know about the Philip and grimwalker stuff but I could easily imagine the two of them slipping into this relationship where they just spill the beans of all the dark ugly and confusing emotions that they don't feel comfortable telling anyone else about.

Having a crush is definitely a lot more lighthearted than the stuff they usually talk about but it's Hunter's first crush so it makes him feel very vulnerable and weird. And if he's gonna vocalize that unfamiliar feeling to anyone, it would be Luz.

And I know Luz is a hopeless romantic. I know. Buuuut. I like to think that being around Eda and Raine for a short period of time really opened her eyes to the fact that romance can be...complicated? Difficult? Messy? Basically, just not as shiny and bubbly as she used to think it was. As such, Luz does not jump at the opportunity to pair Hunter and Willow up. Season 1-season 2A Luz might have. But she is not the same girl. Her view on romantic love is a little more nuanced. Sometimes it's something you have to be careful with. So she doesn't push it. Like Amity, Luz deduces that Hunter needs a little time to process what he's feeling before he goes diving into the next stage. So she gives him space to do that. In the meantime, she's here if he wants a void to yell into about it.

All that being said, Luz would occasionally tease him about it now and again.

When it comes to Willow's feelings, I feel like Luz has tried to subtly suss them out on Hunter's behalf but it's....difficult. Not because Willow is subtle about it but because Luz and Willow's feelings for Hunter kinda overlap into something very unclear.

Willow and Luz both have that sapphic girl tendency where they are deeply fascinated with the same soggy piece of bread of a guy. They want to study him under a microscope. They want to put him in an enclosure filled with strange objects that he doesn't understand and observe his behavior through the security camera. The only difference is that Willow mostly behaves this way because she thinks he's boyfriend material, while Luz just sees him as her most beloved moth eaten stuffed animal.

But because Willow's enthusiasm and support of Hunter is so similar to her own, Luz has a hard time coming to a conclusion on if Willow's feelings have branched out into the romantic direction.

Because like Willow will say shit like "Hunter is so cute <3"

And Luz responds. "Yeah. He reminds me of one of the feral possums we kept finding in the shack."

"I want to kiss him." She'll sigh absentmindedly.

And Luz has to internally debate this for over ten minutes because she also wants to kiss Hunter. On the forehead. Because she's always wanted to kiss a feral possum on the forehead. So she is forced to concede that she has no fucking idea what Willow feels, despite the fact that Willow could not be any more obvious if she tried.

#huntlow #this isnt like a proper analysis or anything. just silly headcanons

[the-commonplace-book]

Not to harp on something that's already been harped on a lot, but it really is telling about how we as a society treat girls vs boys in media in the way that Marinette and Adrien's crush behavior is treated by the Miraculous fandom

Marinette putting up pictures of Adrien, daydreaming about marrying him, making him gifts for every occasion, memorizing his schedule, average crush behavior for a girl her age, exaggerated because t's a cartoon? Stalker behavior. Creepy. Unacceptable. Bad protagonist.

Adrien putting up pictures of Ladybug, collecting merch for her, daydreaming about marrying her, acting like they're a couple to the press when she repeatedly asks him not to, continuing to flirt with her when she repeatedly turns him down, all also exaggerated because it's a cartoon? Silly. Goofy. Romantic. Endearing.

The fact is that neither of them are acting in ways that are reprehensible. They're just acting their age. And they grow and they learn. In Elation they both acknowledge that the way they were approaching the pursuit of romance was wrong, in their mutual "It made me act in the worst ways" about their respective crushes (of course, this conversation happening between Marinette and Chat Noir, not knowing that they are Ladybug and Adrien respectively). And it's that acknowledgement that helps them both grow, take a different approach to how they view relationships, themselves, and each other, and ultimately what makes room for them to actually start a real, healthy relationship instead of just daydreaming about it in these overtop performative ways.

They're like... 13~15-ish through the show so far? They don't know how to do relationships. They're just learning what romantic love really is and what it means to them. Their respective growth over the show in that regard is them starting out performing what they think love is and learning that it isn't all the gimmicks and grand gestures, it isn't self-deprecation and hero worship, it isn't obsession. It's caring and being cared for. It's knowing and being known. It's about trust and being delighted in your partner.

And they both had a lot to learn from Season 1 to where we are now in Season 5 (and obviously have a lot of learning still to go, I mean they are still teenagers).

I just think to accuse Marinette of creepy stalker behavior and to brush off Adrien's unhealthy persistence towards Ladybug in the early show does a massive disservice to both their arcs.

Also it's just sexist. C'mon guys. When are we going to stop hating teenage girls in this society?

#in this house we love and support marinette dupain cheng #ladynoir #adrienette #marichat #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #miraculous #f; miraculous ladybug

[altocat]

Fuck me sideways this kid is hurting my heart. I know a lot of people think Sephiroth is 14-15, but with this more recent stuff Im firmly in the 12-13 camp. The way the trio talks to/interacts with him, the things he says, the fact that he calls it his first real mission. And I've met plenty of tweens who looked and sounded older than they were (hell I was one of them), so he could be younger than he looks

Just kind of a side note on his size and voice: yes, he does seem tall for a tween, and his voice is somewhat deep, thats in comparison to an average teenage boy and young adult man. If you compare small!Seph to the adult, he's still got SO much growing to do

I'm not completely writing off the idea of him being 12-13. You're right. Sephiroth seems more like a child than a teenager here. His behavior and mannerisms are very much of a confused kid trying to prove himself to the "grownups". Plus the trio's affectionate mannerisms towards him aka all those hugs and patting are the kinds of gestures you'd give to a kid to show that you're proud of him, not so much an edgy teen.

So I guess we'll never really know how old he is. I know everyone is saying he's tall, but he definitely looks pretty tiny to me. And while his Japanese dub voice might be deeper, I have a hunch it would be a lot higher pitched if there was an english dub. I notice that happens a lot across translations. And tbh I'm hearing his voice as a little kid's voice in my head. That's just how his dialogue comes across.

I mentioned this before but he's a really good parallel to Rosen. Rosen is extremely "mature" for his age. Seph is very "immature" for his age. Rosen's had a hell of a rough life, but he at least seems to have a sense of responsibility and wisdom, while Seph lashes out and seems confused and agitated about his surroundings, especially when it comes to pleasing others. It's very interesting.

#asks #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephcanons #sephiroth #ffvii ever crisis #ffvii first soldier #first soldier #ever crisis

[suratan-zir]

Remember I shifted the responsibility to you? Y'all got me into trouble.

this is yet another post about rats, I'm sorry

About a week ago, I was feeling exceptionally anxious and overall unwell, so I did what I typically do to make things even worse. I looked through the rat ads online and found what I was looking for. In a city next to my town, a classic case of a rat in a tiny prison cell. Most likely bought for a child who got bored of it, either because it's not as cute anymore, its claws are too sharp, it smells bad or whatever the reason is. I've rescued quite a few of such unfortunate rats in the past. My most beloved rat of all times, Bambook, the little guy on my user icon, once was rescued from these conditions:

(yes, I keep the old screenshots because I'm sentimental like that)

So when I saw this post, my brain went like "this will be Bambook number two, same age, same conditions, even at the same price! I'll save him, love him and finally, after over a year of grieving, will let Bambook go"

(mind you, this rat is only 4-5 months old, very skinny and weighs 300 grams. Adult males can weight from 600 to 700 grams on average. Yet in this cage he looks big because of how small it is)

I went to that city, two teenage girls, who were looking kinda scared for some reason, handed me this tiny boy. I was asked to bring "a box or something" because "the cage is sold separately". I brought a carrier that was probably bigger than the torture devise they call a "cage".

I could barely talk to them, they started almost running away immediately after handing me the rat. Initially I didn't think much of it, I'm sort of used to people being scared of me. I'm told that I have a weird gloomy, unfriendly look on my face. But they probably wanted to get rid of him before I notice...

On the way home the rat was sweet and gentle, licking my hands and enjoying being petted. But when we got home…oh boy. I always knew that male rats can exhibit hormonal aggression, especially at the age of 6-8 months. But in the years of keeping rats, I never ever encountered such aggression towards humans. Guess I was just lucky.

At first he's cute and cuddly, calm even, then something switches inside his brain and in an instant he goes into killing mode. He attacks not only hands, he bites even knees and thighs, basically every body part he can reach. Then he calms down and demands pets again. He not only bites, but thinks I'm his bitch. After what he did to my hands and knees, they might be pregnant… The girls mentioned that he lived with another rat before they moved him to that cage. I assume it was a female and he mated with her, which made him even more hormonal.

So, everyone, meet Skritch. He went to horny jail and they stole his balls.

Also, the photo where he's stoned is the best photo I have of him, because he won't stop moving.

Skritch is smart, sweet and very friendly whenever he's not attacking me.

He was neutered only yesterday, so it is too early to judge the changes in his behavior. But he no longer bites my hand in the cage, even when we wrestle, which is a huge improvement. But unfortunately, he still didn't pass the couch test. (couch is the place where he gets most aggressive, probably because of the smells of other rats)

He attacked me only once today, the result you can see on the video, it's not nearly as bad as his bites were before. And after that, as always, he acted all innocent and affectionate and fell asleep by my side.

I already love him so much, even if he's a menace. But I am so not looking forward to introducing him to my other boys. Something tells me it's not gonna be easy.

#Skritch the rat #my rats #personal

[dadsbongos]

chapter 4 - eat shit, eddie munson!

4.8K words

warnings - don't think any apply, let me know if i missed something!

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“Is Eddie coming?”

You pause, head snapping to where your little sister lingers in the bathroom doorway. Her body digs into the wood, face set firm in her question.

“Stop being obsessed with my boyfriend just ‘cuz yours is copying him.”

Eleven gapes and folds her arms over her chest, “I am not obsessed with your boyfriend!”

“Sure,” you swivel back around and stare at her through the mirror, “Whatever you say.”

“Papa!” for a moment, you worry she’s going to pull the tattletale tricks back out from middle school, but Eleven quickly follows it up with, “Can Mike and Eddie come to dinner?!”

The fabled Hopper-Byers weekly family dinner. Until Joyce and Jim can save enough to finally buy a house together, your families come together once a week. Like a bizarre council meeting.

Jim leans in, eyes narrowed at your sister, “I haven’t even properly met Eddie but you wanna possibly wither Joyce’s resources by inviting him to dinner? That’s an extra grown man to feed.”

He’s met Eddie improperly. A parking ticket and graffiti charge - and Eddie was eager to lampshade the handcuffs in his room by explaining that’s how he got them (“Just so you don’t think I’m trying anything.”). You almost hate how endearing the sentiment was.

“What about Mike?”

“‘What about Mike?’” you mimic, voice pitching dramatically higher and giggling when Eleven huffs.

Jim glares weakly at you through the mirror, “Mike can come if Eddie goes and Eddie can’t go unless Joyce says he can.”

And he backs away.

You glare through the mirror now, harsher, “You’re so cheap. I’m already seeing Eddie later.”

“You’re seeing him later? Tonight?” Eleven gasps like you’ve said something totally world-ending. The biggest gossip of the town rather than an average day in a boyfriend-girlfriend high school plot.

“Yeah,” you move to the side, allowing Eleven into the bathroom while you take her stand at the doorway, “That’s what happens when your boyfriend is a grown-up who has a car.”

She rolls her eyes, smacking your arm, “Papa! She’s being rude.”

A pause. The biggest, most exhausted-dad type of sigh you’ve ever heard. And finally, “Stop being rude to your sister!”

“All I said was Eddie can drive!”

Eleven sticks her tongue out at you and you’re mature enough to copy the action.

A final call from your father confirming that Joyce says both boys can come sends you and Eleven speeding off for the kitchen phone as soon as Jim hangs up.

Before you can so much as dial Eddie’s number, Jim stops you, “Make sure Munson knows to dress nice. Be on his best behavior.”

“Right,” there’s something in his eyes. Something undeniably concerned, and for a minute you think he might be more worried about you embarrassing yourself with an improper boy than anything actually about Eddie. But you refuse to admit that because it would lighten the color you’ve saddled him with in your ‘black and white’ narrative, “Because Eddie is gonna show up in a torn shirt and pajama pants and steal Joyce’s little porcelain baby figures.”

He used to lose his temper faster - before Eleven, of course. But no, now he just shakes his head and speaks quietly, “I never said that. I just… I’ve had to arrest him, and I’ve heard the rumors.”

On TV, the compassion of adults soothes angry teenagers - but in real life, it only angers you further. His insistence on being kinder and more patient and more worried about you after Eleven. You hate that. You hate being bitter. You hate that he makes you feel this way. You hate that he’s so determined.

“You of all people should know better than to believe rumors,” and because you’re your father’s daughter, you’re just as determined to prove yourself right, “Just because you took me in doesn’t make you a saint.”

Determined to prove that you’re just as hated as you’ve felt.

“Watch your mouth or you’re not going out for dinner at all,” and he’s doing his best with what you give him.

So you twist the knife deeper hoping he’ll validate all the hatred that’s built up from his drinking and bumbling and never being there.

“Fine by me,” you sing song.

He puts on a show of hesitating and huffing before moving on. He lets you go.

In a way, that’s nothing new.

Eleven hides away. As usual when it gets particularly rough between you and Jim.

And you dial Eddie’s number.

“You’ve been formally invited to dinner with me and my family.”

“Wow, the whole family?”

“I know you’re making fun of me, but it’ll be with the Byers, too. So, yeah, the whole family. And Mike.”

There’s silence, then. More people, more opportunities to screw up. Eddie sounds just as unsure as you now feel, “I dunno if that’s a super idea.”

“Yeah, I mean- “ you lower your voice, kicking into the hardwood floors and ignoring the way your chest caves, “I know it’s fast and whatever. It’s fine. It’ll be fine… if you don’t want to.”

“No,” Eddie changes his mind last minute, hearing the upset in your voice, “I wanna go. I do. You’ve met Wayne and all. Just…” he pauses again, he doesn’t want to admit to being nervous because he’s Eddie Munson.

And Eddie Munson is never nervous to meet anybody.

“I get it,” your tone cheeries instantaneously, “Thanks, Eds. These dinners are nice, I just - I feel awkward.”

It’ll be nice to have you around, you don’t say that. But you mean to.

Just like how Eddie means to say, I have something to tell you.

But he doesn’t - instead, he says, “I’ll dress special for the occasion, then. My finest leather.”

Your father’s voice peeks from the end of the cabin, “You need to hurry to the truck so- !” his beeper clogs your ears and you almost wish Eddie was there so you could share an eye roll, “Just get to the truck!”

“I’m assuming you need to go to the truck?” Eddie sighs, “I was just getting comfortable, too.”

“I know, right?”

Now Eleven shouts for you, “Let’s go!”

“Pick up Mike, okay? I don’t want Eleven biting my ear off when you show up first and Mike isn’t there.”

“Anything for you, sweet girl.”

That shouldn’t have made you swoon the way it did. But at least Eddie didn’t see it - that would’ve been truly embarrassing.

You sit on the steps leading up to the Byers’ home, knees cramped up into your chest as you wait for Eddie Munson’s rust bucket to pull up. Jim has peeled off since kicking you and Eleven out of the truck to return to his duty as town sheriff.

Thankfully, you don’t wait long before you’re shouting through the open, rickety house to your sister as Mike Wheeler baby-deer prattles his way out of your boyfriend’s van. He stumbles, ankle twisting and you pretend to not notice his hissy little grimace at the next step.

Eddie rushes you once his precious van is locked, arms wide and body springing low as you come to a stand. He tucks both arms tight around you, your lungs huffing out like a little plastic bag between a little child's hands from his grip.

He pulls back, eyes finally striking across your outfit and humming stiffly to himself, fingers tracing softly against the puffy floral sleeve, “Nice dress.”

You lift his head by the chin, tilting and angling him to your preference, and he easily lets you, “Thanks,” his compliance earns a cheek kiss, “It’s a lot like this Laura Ashley dress I’ve been wanting, but…”

But Jim Hopper’s cabin isn’t for show.

“I’ll get it for you,” it’s a solemn promise, one you don’t think would truly die if you refused, “Maybe for prom?”

You quirk a brow, smile more teasing than anything, “Oh, really?”

But despite that, you feel a little spark there - some twist and pop at his assumption that you two will still be dating by the time prom rolls around.

“Hell yeah,” Eddie pulls back, fingers still loosely tipping at your own, “And I’ll wear my nicest funeral pants,” he’s on the next quip before you can even react, “Where’s big Hopper?”

The eye roll is automatic and Eddie already regrets asking, especially with the groan that follows, “He’s too busy to spend time with his family…” your lips press firmly, taking his hand and tugging the lumbering lud up the Byers’ stoop, “As usual.”

Eleven and Mike have already skipped inside and been met with sweet welcomes and warm embraces.

“I’m kinda nervous to see Joyce,” Eddie admits, “I had a Summer job at Melvald’s and I dunno if she remembers me.”

“She will,” you lean in and pat his arm, dragging him close into your side as you both creep towards the house, “She got so excited when I mentioned you that I thought she was gonna fly through the fucking roof.”

You like talking to Joyce more than you like talking to Jim. She’s easier and more inviting and actually listens - with Jim, you think his ears have a specific setting that blocks out your voice.

And Joyce likes Eddie. Something about black cats and golden retrievers and breaking out of shells.

Jonathan is already bitching, voice a dragging whiny moan from his seat at the two tables pushed together in the middle of the kitchen/dining room, “I didn’t know we could all bring plus ones! This is crazy - I would’ve brought Nancy!”

“Shut up, Jonathan,” you smack his shoulder and plop yourself into the seat across from him, Eddie tumbling after.

In the last seat next to Jonathan is Mike, with Eleven across him and next to you. Across from Eddie and on Jonathan’s other side is Will. Next to Will is Joyce and across from Joyce is the ghost shell Jim Hopper is to take on.

“I, uh, officially started your yearbook,” Eddie nudges you.

You gasp histrionically, “This late? Slacker.”

“And what do you have done?”

“Nothing,” you shrug.

Eddie tsk, tsk, tsks, “Slacker.”

“Yeah, well…” something new tugs at the corner of your mind, “What type of shit are you putting in? Good things?”

“You know it.”

“I’ll put in good things, too, then.”

“I’d hope so.”

Eddie can hardly eat, he’s too busy trying to make up for a mistake you don’t even know he’s made. He’s telling you about his attempts at painting and how he needs you to grace his trailer with your presence and judge the canvas. Maybe he can clear out a shelf in his cramped closet or a drawer in his chipped dresser and let you make the empty room prettier with scrunchies and floral Laura Ashley knockoffs. A real visual artist’s touch.

“Why’d you invite him for dinner if you’re just gonna hog him the whole time?” Joyce clicks her tongue at your apparent offense over her accusation, grinning and kicking a leg as she lights a cigarette from her shirt pocket, “I haven’t seen Eddie since, God, ‘81?”

“‘80,” Eddie isn’t used to adults remembering things about him and he’s recalling how earnest and sunshine lovely the Byers matriarch has always been, “You were my favorite co-worker, you know?”

He isn’t usually so reserved.

“Stop!” Joyce ashes her cigarette in the tray Will made as a third-grade art project, painted in teals and white and blues and she loves it more than the house itself. She grins and waves off the praise in that cute mom way she always does.

Will beams up at Eddie, still doe-eyed and sparkling despite his age.

Joyce claps and leans forward in her chair, puffing off the cigarette before pointing it at you as she exhales, “Your little boyfriend,” Eddie sinks in his chair, face flushing, “was such a good kid! Only one wanting overtime and so hardworking!”

“Really, now?” you swivel around to face the long-haired, broad-shouldered metalhead now - his hands up and spindling over his face, eyes peeking between his bony, ringed fingers, “I didn’t know about that.”

“Oh, yeah!” Joyce isn’t usually so loud, either, but you suppose this is a truly special occasion, “Polite, too! And…” she stammers, snapping as different words float behind her eyes, “And earnest.”

Sometimes you imagine what life would be like if Joyce had adopted you instead of Jim and Diane. It’s improbable, what with the struggle to float with her two kids and one job and dipshit ex-husband, but a daydreamer does what it will. And when you can’t sleep, you like to imagine that life instead of the one you had.

“Right?” Mike’s arms are folded, growing hair curling down his back and legs stretched far under the table.

Eleven giggles, her own legs tucked under her chair to allow room for her boyfriend’s, hands entwined atop the table. Empty plates circle the scratched redwood, all in await for the arrival of one Jim Hopper.

You don’t think you could leave her alone, though. You’re upset that she pulled the father out of Jim that you never could, but it isn’t as though that’s her fault. And as Eddie’s warm hand slips into your colder one, you think a spirit slug was dissolved from your chest. Lighter and kinder and thinking of what a better sister you want to be, you squeeze Eddie’s hand in yours.

“I like Eddie, too,” Eleven’s good at being honest, for better or for worse - she’s very good at saying what’s on her mind, “I’m glad Mike hired him, now you’re actually happy together!”

And for better or for worse, she likes assuming the most logical answers - and until she sees you aren’t reacting, she doesn’t know that you weren’t told.

You cover your own face now, hot and mortified and thick with nausea. Hurriedly, you punch a hand against the table and Eddie throws himself into a stand as if to follow you whichever way you may roam. But with more viciousness and anger than he’s yet to see from you - you shove him into the table hard. The silverware jostles and plastic cups disguised to be fancier glass topple over and clank against the wood.

Joyce gives her eldest son a hard stare before rushing off to follow you as you run into the narrow hall.

Jonathan takes up the mantle as the overprotective muscle trope with Hopper absent, pushing himself up from his seat hesitantly. His fingers drum against the redwood, pressing his index finger into a particularly deep scratch from pumpkin carving gone wrong and sighing. Mike’s fingers are snagging into his jeans as Eleven’s eyes trace the folds of Jonathan’s shirt - desperate to avoid the shameful sting of eye contact. Will is, for the first time in a very, very long time, positively fuming at Mike Wheeler - full glares and curled fists as if he’s ever been in a real fight.

Eddie counts the spots on one of Joyce’s tables. Until -

“Hey,” Jonathan blinks, slow and tired, like a drowsy cat before it finally collapses - too exhausted to catch more fat rats, “please… Munson, don’t make me wrestle you out of my house,” Eddie feels like if he pinched himself his arm would fall off, “My brother looks up to you and my sisters love you- “ he throws up a hand in a half-hearted shrug, “Well, I dunno about that one. But you’ve done enough,” and finally, the tired eyes of Jonathan Byers meet some frightful caricature of Eddie Munson’s, “Don’t make me do worse.”

“I hate him, I hate him, I hate him,” you’re wrapped tight in the sinewy arms of Joyce Byers, who rocks you so tenderly and sweetly you wish you could’ve grown up between them, “He’s a horrible person, he got me to care about him for money!” she nods to your muttering, and so you’re left undeterred, “And I hate Mike and- and- I hate my fucking sister!”

That’s probably heard in the kitchen/dining room, but Joyce doesn’t try and tell you off. So her arms simply wind tighter and her mouth finds the crown of your head. Kisses and whispered promises are pressed softly.

“Whatever you say, sweetie,” she pats your back, voice soft as you wordlessly wail into her shoulder, “Whatever you say, it’s between you and me. Let it all out.”

And you do. And you don’t know how, but somehow you want more than a mom holding you so kindly.

“I want…” you want something you feel starved of, like some sick mirage in the Sahara, “I want Dad…”

Because somehow you think he’ll help.

And somehow you’re back in middle school, just one point away from getting your art project submitted to the state competition. Where you’re screaming into your pillow and impatiently waiting for Dad to come home so you can curl up in his chair with him and watch TV together. Where he’ll let you have ice cream for dinner and kiss your forehead every time the tears start coming back.

You sniffle terribly, hot in the face and hiccuping, “I want my dad,” you want to be back in elementary school now, when he would carry you to bed and actually bother hiding his vices, “I want Dad…”

Joyce nods and kisses your forehead and guides you out to the front porch, past a fiddling Eleven and two quiet Byers boys cleaning what was supposed to be a nice dinner.

“I’ll call Jim,” Joyce lays one final squeeze around your shoulders.

You hope he picks up.

You tuck your knees up close to your chest, arms curling around the shins and feeling that old childish hope you thought died in freshman year. The hope that maybe you can bring out the father in Jim Hopper that your younger sister once had.

You noticed that Mike has left. And so has Eddie’s creaky, beaten-up van. Yes, Eddie is long gone by now.

You cry on the stoop alone until there’s nothing left. Until there’s a vague throbbing behind your eyes and you’re exhausted. Until your dad’s truck is speeding into the driveway and he’s jumping out immediately after the thing stops.

And he’s brought back to the day before sixth grade, when you begged to go to the park and ended up with a massive scrape on your knee. When you looked up at him all teary and snotty and cried out a weak, “Papa!”

He didn’t have any bandaids on him that day, and he hopes his quickness to cradle you into his side on the steps makes up for it now.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers into your hair, nearly crushing your bones under his arms, “I’m so sorry, kid,” he sounds as though he believes it's his own fault, “I should’ve been here to beat that punk up myself.”

Your laugh is pathetic, it cracks in the middle and you cough out little tears and flem at the end, “Don’t beat him up, please.”

“Don’t tell me you still like that tool.”

You’re quiet and he squeezes you tighter, kissing your forehead as the tears threaten to resurface.

“You’re too good for him.”

You remain silent. He repeats his apologies.

“Do you hate me?” you whisper, earnestly hoping he didn’t hear you. Then you double down and continue, “For being so mean lately.”

You feel his head shake against you, certain and decisive. Just as he always has been, “If I hated you, you wouldn’t live with me. And I could never hate you because you’re you,” you feel guilt swallowing you whole, for always insisting he was evil, “You’re the coolest person I’ve ever met.”

You laugh again, your voice still cracks at the end, but the sound is stronger than before, “Right.”

“No, it’s true,” he insists now - insists that you are good, kind, and sweet, “All these dads down at the station brag about big jobs and degrees, but I ask if their kid is actually cool - and they never have a response.”

“I’m sorry for being mean,” apologies to family are always harder because there’s always the chance it’ll just happen again. And you can’t promise that you’ll never be mean again. But something inside you wants him to know you hate yourself for every snide comment as much as he must.

But he continues to press. Jim shrugs slowly with you in his arms, “It’s part of growing up. Teenagers need to be dickheads when they feel wronged,” he pulls back when he’s sure you won’t immediately fall apart. Just enough to properly look at you, “I just wish you’d actually talk to me.”

Slowly, you nod, eyes pooling again - and he kisses your forehead. Mustache is just as scratchy as it’s been since you were little, “I promise I’ll talk to you properly… but I might need a little reminding.”

Again, he shrugs - as if the load you’re shoving onto him is no weight at all and it reminds you of the superhero you once drew him as when you were younger, “I will never give up on you, kid.”

And again you’re transported back. Before middle school art competitions and sixth grade and ice cream dinners and forehead kisses. Before Diane left. On the third night that you were with them, still struggling to bond and live up to the title of ‘daughter’.

When you were in the kitchen getting water and Jim found you searching for where they kept the cups. When you spilled your guts and he knelt down to look you in the eyes and say that. I will never give up on you, kid.

And before that, again. The day Diane and Jim were signing the papers to take you home. When the social worker was speaking with them. Warning them.

(“Major attitude issues. Trouble communicating. Generally… unwelcoming to most adults.”)

And again he said it. I will not give up.

“You can live with me after high school, you know?” he scootches back again to let you breathe fully, still close enough to scoop you up if the dam cracks, “As long as it takes for your art to get big,” he grins, just barely, “Just promise you don’t commit to being a deadbeat.”

You crawl closer now, hugging and clinging like he’s an old teddy bear, “Are you disappointed? That I’m not going to college.”

“Maybe at first,” he’s always honest, when he can be, you hate it most times, “but I got over it. I just want you to live a fulfilling life. And no matter how disappointed I get sometimes, I will never, never hold it against you.”

You want to tell him. You’re not like other kids in that you don’t just like men. You think it’d be safe enough. But you can’t decipher if that’s just the rush of emotions or genuine urge, so you keep that secret tight to your chest.

“Dad?” he hums, “Do you think I’ll ever get over what Eddie did?”

“That’s up to you.”

“Should I?”

He freezes up, it doesn’t happen often - but it’s more telling than words when it does, “That’s also up to you. Whatever the decision is, I’ll support you…” and because he’s your father and he knows you better than you know yourself at times, he can sense that you already want Eddie back in your life, “But I want to talk to him. Either way, I want to talk to him.”

“Okay,” the distraught turns into rage, slowly coiling into the rocky realization that you’ve been betrayed, “I wanna talk to El and Mike.”

Normally at the prospect of you and Eleven fighting, Jim would draw a very bold line. A no. But this time, he relents, “Okay. But for now, just relax,” he squeezes you again, “Let it out.”

A new wave of tears hit, as if you needed to be told it was okay to cry.

When your head throbs and your eyes especially ache, Joyce’s porch crunches under her footsteps - handing off a glass of water, she frowns gently at the humble offering, “Sorry, honey, not much other than water to drink.”

You shake your head and graciously take the clear cup, “It’s more than enough, thanks.”

Eleven steps out, head poking between the doorway, “Can I talk with you…?”

Alone, is what she means to add.

“Yeah,” you steel your voice, something burly and old like a vicious T.V villain you’re sure Eleven has seen, “You can.”

Jim and Joyce linger uncomfortably before shuffling inside.

“Can I…?” Eleven gestures down to the open spot beside you on the stair landing.

“Just sit, El,” you remember first meeting her - you always liked her and right now you’re sick of her. She’s always been a shy, sweet kid - and then she got comfortable and louder and you didn’t mind. If anything, you liked that she was comfortable, until now, “I can’t believe you would ever set me up like that.”

She wants to interrupt, she tries to, “No- “

“Just because you claim to be clueless and ignorant to common customs doesn’t give you a right to be so… so selfish!”

“I- I’m sorry,” Eleven clings to your arm, pouting miserably, “I don’t know… I don’t know why I thought that was a good idea, but- “ but she just knows that it was with good intentions that she did it, “But I thought maybe you could be happy in a relationship too…”

“El, a relationship where someone has to get paid to be in it, isn’t a relationship at all, it's a business transaction.”

“I’m sorry,” you’re getting sick of her voice now too, “I never wanted you hurt…”

And you hope she can sense the vile poisons sleeping soundly inside you as you glare, “That was impossible as soon as you paid Eddie fucking Munson to take me out.”

“I’m sorry- “

“I’m sick of you saying you’re sorry, El!” you shoot up from your position on the top step, stomping up like a toddler throwing a tantrum, “You need to actually be nice now!”

Eleven stops completely, hands stiff at her sides and body rigid. She gnaws her bottom lip, nails biting into the skin of her palms, “Will we ever be okay?”

You take a moment to answer. You’d like to be dramatic and wail and make her throw herself to the floor in a sorrowful heap, but you nod, “Yeah. Eventually. But it’s gonna take a fucking while. You’re supposed to be my little sister and you really hurt me.”

Against what you’d just said, Eleven twiddles her thumbs and murmurs, “I’m sorry…”

“You also could’ve just told me to lie to Dad and I would have,” at her puzzled stare, you eye roll, “I don’t have to actually date someone to say I am, I would’ve lied so you didn’t have to pull some crazy shit.”

“But you always say you hate me dating Mike…”

“Yeah, ‘cuz you’re kids and he’s a dork, but I’m not pure evil.”

“Oh,” her face pulls a little frown, hands flying behind her back and fingers knotting together, “Sor- “ she silences herself at your glare, “Oops… do you think you’ll ever forgive him?”

You sink back onto the top step at her question, legs sprawling down splintering wood and arms lax at your side. You don’t answer.

She wants to tell you that she knows those feelings are genuine, from what she saw inside just moments ago. And she knows that you care about him.

You suck in a sharp breath, eyes drifting off to the side and figuring that it may be time to give up this fit and begin your yearbook. Report the truth like a real Nancy Drew.

From above you, Eleven juts out her hand and you reach out - jamming your palm into her gut and pushing yourself up on your own.

“I’m still mad at you.”

As soon as you’ve laid a foot back inside the Byers’ home, your midsection is crushed once again. A resounding ‘oof’ punching from your chest as the sensitive Will Byers stubbornly squishes himself to you.

Face sitting stern, you pat the boy’s back, “Thank you, Will.”

His grip loosens and Eleven inches out of the scene, off to find where Joyce and Jim have scurried in the wake of this new teenage drama. He sighs, whole-bodied, “I’ll drop out of Hellfire if you want,” he pauses just a moment, “But please don’t ask that lightly because I really don’t want to.”

“It’s fine,” you think about teasing him for being a traitor, but then consider that perhaps not enough time has passed to be joking like that, “As long as you kick Mike’s ass for me.”

Eddie is off the table for some horrifying reason you’re choosing to not dwell on - and later, you think you’ll lie to yourself and say it’s because of the age and size difference.

Will pulls back, visibly tense and you punch his shoulder, “Kidding… sort of.”

#eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #10 things i hate about you #eddie.🍓 #10 things i hate about you.🍹

[galactic-academia]

Divine Wrath

Continuation to Finding God

Rating: M, minors pass your way.

Category: F/M

Fandom: The Young Pope

Relationship: Lenny Belardo x F!Reader

Tags: Implied sexy times, implied nudity, sass, creepy behavior, jealousy, religious guilt

Words: 830

Notes: Set before Lenny became pope. This is for my Barbie Noots 🥲 Waiting for you in horny jail, I made some coffee... 😈❤️‍🔥

Masterpost | Ask | Guidelines |

Turns out the little Light bringer truly liked what they saw, that afternoon, when you slammed the door to their nose. They couldn’t be less interested in you finding Jesus or not, as long as you don’t immediately find your bra when you’re rummaging through your drawers.

They’re everywhere, all the time. Hiding in the bushes in your backyard when you’re sunbathing, in the tree facing the windows of your bedroom when you’re just out of the shower; you’re almost sure one of them even stole some panties last time you hung the laundry out... It was kinda funny in the beginning, even if you were afraid one of the little dumbass with his hand down his pants would fall off the tree, but it’s becoming creepy. And Lenny’s not amused.

«You should call the police.»

You know he’s right. But they’re... boys. Religious boys who learnt that getting hard is bad, that desire is a sin and all that load of shit that turns the average teenager into a pervy, repressed, libidinous blob of guilt. All they deserve is a good scare, and some sex education. Not another reason to connect their body needs to shame. You told him so several times and, even if he would never say it out loud, he agrees. He could have been one of them.

The truth is a little darker. Lenny’s not a monster, he’s truly worried about you, but his own case is, also, a concern. He’s not just a deacon anymore, after all. He’s Father Belardo, and he can’t let the world knows his favourite way of preaching. Not now, not yet. The world is not ready. Furthermore, to the sin of lust must be added to Father Belardo’s panel the one of envy. He already shares everything that’s his, why would he have to share what never could be? Your curves, your warmth, he stoles them for himself because you let him. It’s a privilege, an offering. Lenny doesn’t want to share you and you love it.

But tonight is one night too many; he can hear their laborious breathing rustling the leaves in the tree, he can almost see them, their ravenous eyes ready to devour all and every bit of skin they will get a glimpse of. You still don’t want to call the Police, and why should he be the only one to be punished and be deprived of you? No, Hell is not somewhere you go, but something you carry with you.

«They’re here, again.»

«They will go away, eventually», you talk about them like they’re raccoon scavenging the trash, seemingly not one bit bothered, «Their mothers are waiting for them, back home. A quick, cold shower, a kiss on the forehead and goodnight!»

Long, unexpected silences are not uncommon with Lenny, but this one is different. Charged and, somehow, angrier than a shout.

«Remember that you took this decision.»

Well, you certainly weren’t up for that...

«Ma’am, I’m deeply sorry for the trouble, but I need to ask you some questions.»

You’re house is a battlefield, and let’s not talk about your bed. And the Marshal talking to you looks highly too amused, but he gave you a thermic jacket and is polite enough to look at you like you’re fully dressed underneath it; so you’ll let it slide.

«Did you know these boys were spying on you?»

You sigh, lying would be no help here; «Yeah, I did. They’re quite annoying but... A broken arm and a concussion are enough punishment already, don’t you think, Marshal? They won’t be climbing any tree any time soon...»

«Yup», the Officer lifts the hem of his hat before leaning against the kitchen counter, «Any idea how they fall off?»

«None». Liar.

«Mmh. It doesn’t have anything to do with the claim the neighbours filed against you, does it? They say there was a lot of... noise comin’ out of here... I’m surprised to find you all by yourself.»

How did Lenny manage to flee that fast with his butt naked, you truly have no idea.

«I don’t see how I could have made all that hypothetical noise all alone, Marshal, but if you want to search the house, be my guest. Well, be my guest some more, since my young harassers are being cared for in my own living room...»

«Sorry for that, Ma’am, I’ll have them tucked into an ambulance as soon as possible. Do you want to file a claim against them?»

«Nah.»

«Alright then, I’ll see everyone out. Good night, Ma’am.»

True to his world, all the circus is out your property within fifteen minutes, and you’re free to get back to bed. You’re in the middle of changing sheets when your phone rang.

«You’re a bastard.»

«That’s nothing new.»

«You’re proud of yourself.»

«Quite, yes.»

You huff in the device; arrogant he is, snob sometimes, but always honest.

«You owe me a set of bed linen.»

«Worth it»

#the young pope #the new pope #The Young Pope Fanfiction #The New Pope Fanfiction #Lenny Belardo #Lenny Belardo x Reader #jude law #priest kink

[indigo-scarf]

Unfortunately I do think that the marauders map and invisibility cloak were used in that way. I love the marauders as much as the next person but the conversation around consent in the 70s was only talked about in the extremes (don’t r word women, very basic stuff) other things that we would now consider sexual harassment was common place and would not have been thought about twice by the average teenage boy. Not to mention that the wizarding world even in the 90s doesn’t have a good understanding of consent (love potions being completely normalized). Also just going off what we know about the characters James isn’t the best with respecting others boundaries (asking out Lily by basically blackmailing her) or with respecting other people’s privacy around nudity (taking off Snapes pants then underwear).

This isn’t to be anti James at all but I personally HC that they were less than stellar in their behavior when it came to this and would have probably done some things we would have considered creepy today.

(Also I want to point out it’s not like these conversations weren’t being had by any women, they absolutely were and you can find it in feminist media of the time, however it wasn’t a mainstream conversation like it is today with the rise of the Metoo movement)

yea no james was a despicable little fuckboy, I'm sure he did that lol

#anti james potter #BLORBOTOMATO #lovely ask