#autistic carer

[puppys-tiny-space]

Tips for impure/sad regression:

1. Take your favorite plushie and tell them your worries ☁️

2. Put on a comfort show ☁️

3. Write down how you feel and why ☁️

4. Take a warm bath with your toys and listen to music or an audio book ☁️

5. Cry into your plushies ☁️

6. Build a pillow fort to hide in ☁️

7. Talk to your cg/a friend about why you are sad ☁️

8. Write down 5 nice things about yourself and do some positive affirmations ☁️

9. Go for a walk with your plushie and listen to music ☁️

10. Do a hobby that makes you happy ☁️

Fun fact of the day: Bees communicate with dancing

#boyre #noncom agere #agere post #sfw agere #safe agere #boy regression #boy regressor #autistic carer #autistic regressor #agere community #agere little #noncom regressor #noncom regression #non community little #noncom #disabled carer #disabled regressor #sfw agedre #sfw little post #sfw littlespace #agedre blog #sad regression #impure regression #inner child healing #ageregression #agere blog #age regressor #age regression

[sukikaneko]

Cg who likes to pressure stim and little who loves to sit in their lap! Like imagine being small and they pull you into their lap wrap their arms around you while you play with your stuffy

#agere #sfw agere #age regressor #age regression #agere cg #agere caregiver #nd4nd #autistic agere #autistic regressor #autistic carer #sfw dxlg #dxlg #dxlg lifestyle #sfw mxlg #mxlg #mxlg lifestyle #no kink interaction #kink dni #nd4nd agere #agere community #cglre community #sfw cglre #sfw little community #cglre #sfw little stuff #sfw little blog #sfw littlespace #agere lifestyle #agere little #little space

[howtocareforbunnyboys]

Communicating with smalls who can't speak right now

To clarify: this post is written for carers of age regressors who experience temporary loss of speech from time to time. My small one sometimes regresses too small to speak, and when he's big, overstimulation can also cause a verbal shutdown.

This post is written by an autistic person with autistic friends, family, and an autistic partner, but it is not about nonverbal autistic people. I'm not nonverbal, and neither are any of my close friends or family members, so I lack the adequate experience to know how to accommodate someone who does not process words the same way as someone who can verbalize.

Outline:

What to ask? (Help for how to proceed, written with non-autistic carers in mind)

Leeloo AAC app (method)

Option chart (method)

Sign language (method)

Understanding sensory management

🌷 🪻 🌻 🪻 🌷

What to ask: (Autistic triage, lol)

If your small one is overstimulated, then the first step is to determine what is causing irritation.

"Are you overstimulated?" Can work for older kids, but "is everything too much?" May work better for younger regressors. Similarly, "is everything too quiet?" Is a great way to ask if they're understimulated.

"Do you know what the problem is?" Opens the door for them to point to the problem, cover their eyes/ears, or tug on their clothes.

If they answer no, start removing stimuli and asking if it's better. E.g., dim the light and ask "is it better with the light low?" If they indicate yes, repeat question 1. If they indicate no, ask if they want the light back up.

If there's still a problem and it's not external, it's probably an internal stimulus. They may be hungry, thirsty, or need to use the restroom. They may need to switch positions, stretch their limbs, or treat a minor injury. They may feel nauseated, have dry eyes, or need a shower. Interoception can be really hard for autistic people, and any of these stimuli can register as just pain, distress, discomfort, or overstimulation, without a clear source.

I know the options for possible sources for overstimulation is seemingly endless, and being asked questions can itself be overstimulating. You can reduce this problem by identifying for yourself the most likely triggers. For example, if your small just had a meal 20 minutes ago, then hunger probably isn't the culprit. If the noise level in the room (and coming in from the doors and windows) is already low, that's probably not the main problem.

You can also ask some questions silently, by offering them helpful objects (noise-canceling headphones, fidget toys, their phone, blankets, plushies, beverages, etc.)

Lastly, it's important to know that when overstimulation leads to a shutdown or meltdown, it's rarely due to one cause. It's because there's just too much going on all at once. It's not "the light is too bright," it's "the light is too bright, my clothes are uncomfortable, there is a small beeping noise, I'm getting a headache, and I'm carrying stress from events that happened earlier today."

Because it's a cumulative effect, removing some of the irritants (and adding soothing stimuli) can be enough to start to return the person to baseline.

As they approach baseline, they'll be able to think better, and may start to be able to identify problems on their own. For example, when the sharpest lights and noises are blocked and their body is at the right temperature, they may be able to identify "oh, I'm thirsty!" and request a beverage (with gestures, writing, typing, etc).

As they approach baseline, they may be able to verbalize again, or they may still need a break from speaking. The process of your body moving from a high-stress state to a low-stress state takes time. Your body has to filter out all those stress hormones, and build back up the feel-good hormones.

It can be that nothing is actively wrong anymore at that exact moment, but they need some quiet time with their favorite media to rest and recover.

🌷 🪻 🌻 🪻 🌷

Leeloo AAC

If they can still type, the app Leeloo is a free, albeit limited, AAC program.

[Link to Leeloo AAC via Google Play]

Pros:

Mostly free

Can read aloud what you type (TTS)

Has pre-programmed words with pictures in some categories

Cute aesthetic geared towards children

Cons:

Can't add your own words and pictures

Some categories are behind a paywall

Can't record your own pronunciations

For regressors who are old enough to type, this is a great resource.

For regressors who are younger, the limited number of programmed images & words may be a problem.

🌷 🪻 🌻 🪻 🌷

Option chart

The above image shows two ways to show your small options, which they can select through pointing or placing their hand on top of the desired option.

Above the orange line is for yes/no questions. I find that when Bunny is too overstimulated to speak, his needs are often too complex to put into a simple nod or head shake, so an "other" option is essential.

Placing "other" in the center also allows him to point between two options to indicate "yes, but I need accommodations" or "this is similar to what I need, but not quite".

Below the orange line are 3 symbols 🤎🏵⭐️. The specific symbols used don't really matter; I just drew a heart, a flower, and a star because they're simple shapes every kid has seen a thousand times, so it's not difficult visual stimuli for the small one to process.

While you draw the symbols, you explain to them what the options are. After the first question, you can either turn the page to make new symbols, or you can reset the meaning of the same symbols.

If the regressor struggles with resetting the meaning, but you don't want to draw a new set every time, then try just drawing 2-3 sets and switching sets between questions.

You can also place 3 toys in front of the regressor for them to grasp, if they don't respond as well to requests for pointing. This method is excellent for very, very young regressors that struggle to read.

Accommodations for blind / visually impaired regressors :

You can still use the option chart method, of course. You can guide their hand to 3 different, familiar objects, or verbally inform them what you're placing in front of them. It's important that the objects are very different, so they can find and pick up (for example) the cold, metallic spoon, or soft plushie, or smooth stone without confusion.

If you have permission to touch their body, you can assign meaning to different body parts, e.g. right shoulder for yes, left shoulder for no, knee for "maybe/kinda", top of head for "I don't know".

I specify "if you have permission to touch" because verbally indicating body parts will involve the possible factor of right/left confusion. A regressed person may temporarily lose the ability to tell right from left, but if you touch each shoulder, they're likely to be able to remember which shoulder means "yes" and which means "no".

🌷 🪻 🌻 🪻 🌷

Sign Language

I don't think I need to explain this one.

Pros:

Gain the ability to communicate better with more people in your local Deaf community

Gain the ability to communicate with noise-canceling headphones on, thereby reducing your level of auditory stimulation 🎧

Can listen to music and talk at the same time 🎶

Can talk in libraries 📚

Can talk in loud places like buses and trains without wanting to fly out of your skin. 🚌 🚂

Gain the security of knowing that as you age, if you start to lose your hearing, you'll still be able to communicate. 👵🧓👴

Cons:

For many reasons, it's best to learn directly from a Deaf teacher, and that costs money. If you have $10 USD spare per week and access to reliable transportation, you can probably join a beginner class held by your local Deaf resource center without any issues, but not everyone has those things. There are also courses held online, but please try to find one that teaches your regional sign language. (Learning ASL with a San Francisco accent when you live in NYC is perhaps a bit odd, but not as bad as learning sign language from a whole different country.)

It takes a lot of time to learn another language, so you'll still need a different method in the meantime.

🌷 🪻 🌻 🪻 🌷

Understanding sensory management

This is probably obvious, but when you're autistic, a great deal of effort goes into curating your sensory input. Speaking as a city-dweller, we live in a loud, stinky, bright, ugly, stressful, uncomfortable world, and we can't change that.

Arranging your schedule/routine to include regular bursts of comfort and happiness, and reducing irritants where possible, is necessary self-care for an autistic person. Disruption to these processes is distressing because we really rely on these skills to manage the uncomfortable world.

[Example] : "I always watch ____ and eat ____ on my lunch break." = Going out to lunch with a friendly coworker will mean giving up my restful time, adding a whole lot of unanticipated stressors, and require conversation during a vital time I use for quiet relaxation. This is how I get through my work day.

[Example] : "I only eat this brand of [food item] and wear [specific clothing type/brand/fabric]. I am upset if this is unavailable." = I know what feels good in my mouth and tastes good, and I know what feels good on my body. Eating/drinking these things gives me a reliable burst of comfort and happiness. Wearing these things gives me a steady stream of reliable comfort/happiness throughout the day.

You can probably think of a point in your life when you were going through a difficult, emotional time, and you were taking things day by day, hour by hour. You got through work 15 minutes at a time, counting down til your next break. You spent your break doing something comforting. Maybe you avoided watching the news and avoided stressful family members.

You probably felt more irritable than usual when the grocery store radio plays a song you dislike, or your shopping cart has a squeaky wheel, or your watchband keeps catching on your arm hair, or the cashier looks like they're judging the nutritional content of your purchases and is considering making a bad joke. Normally, you'd filter out these mundane annoyances, but now they set your teeth on edge.

Maybe there was only one thing you looked forward to each day, like a little oasis. And if something went wrong with that precious thing, then everything you've been trying to keep inside would come spilling out in jagged breaths and hot tears spilling down your red, embarrassed face.

Recalling all this, you might notice that during those difficult, emotional times, non-autistic people use the same skills as we do --- limit stressors, and increase opportunities for comfort and happiness.

You do this naturally for others, already!

When your loved one is in mourning, what do you do for them? You limit stressors (clean their house, do their laundry, run errands for them, etc). You increase their comfort and happiness (give them gifts, make them their favorite foods, take them out to see their favorite sports team/movie franchise, etc).

Why does grieving require similar skills to daily life with autism, even though being autistic can be a joyful experience?

Autistic brains interpret sensory information differently than allistic (non-autistic) brains. We struggle to filter out unimportant stimuli, and we notice fine details, which means there is a LOT of stimuli. We just experience a "louder" external world than allistic people do.

When allistic people are in a heightened emotional state, they temporarily lose the capacity to filter out stimuli. This means that, for a time, they're experiencing a very loud internal world (from the heightened emotion) and a louder than usual external world all at the same time.

So when your autistic loved one freaks out about something you interpret as unimportant, please keep in mind that whatever it is, it's something that is important to them. It's something they were relying on, and looking forward to. The world is so, so loud. We need our reliable comfort and happiness. We need our rest and relaxation, (even if that rest and relaxation is achieved via jumping, spinning, dancing, singing, or making specific noises).

Thanks for reading :). I hope this gave you (and your small) something to discuss or try.

#sfw age regression #sfw agere #sfw agedre #agere cg #agere carer #age dreaming #written by rowan #agere caregiver #autistic agere #autistic agedre

[mochiipudding]

#autistic agere #age regression #agere community #age dreaming #sfw age regression #age regressor #sfw agere #babyreg #baby regressor #toddler regression #sfw mommy #age regression sfw #sfw caregiver #sfw carer

[twisted-dad]

come here baby. daddy’s got you. how about we get your sippy from the fridge? i prepared some milk for you before woke up from your nap. everything is okay, sweetheart. just sip on your drink and lay in dads arms. how about we watch some cartoons? you can babble all about your favorite characters, and ill ask tons of questions. after that we could color some? im sure you’d love to color daddy a pretty picture, yeah? alright. come and snuggle up, lets pick out a cartoon.

#activities ✦ #agere little #agere post #autistic agere #fandom agere #homestuck art #padded agere #agere #agere blog #agere community #age regression community #agere carer

[there-will-be-a-way]

My therapist had The best idea!

I struggle with naming emotions. If you ask me how I'm doing, I have to think about it for 12 hours to give a somewhat accurate answer, and my answer is a metaphor like "I feel like someone is scratching at the walls of my body" or "I feel like a stray dog wandering through dirty alleyways in search of something that never existed".

But I can draw emotions. For years I have been drawing emotions. And he suggested to print out my drawings as a card deck and simply hold them up. So simple! So awesome! I'll do it. I'll keep drawing emotions and I'll print them out and start carrying them with me.

He said that since I have such a perfect, always-smiling-friendly mask, other people literally can't know how I am actually doing. So this could help.

I've only started therapy with him five months ago (and I was hospitalized for three of these five months) and he has already helped me more than the other therapists I had before him. I'm more grateful than I can put into words.

#personal posts #I will also talk to my ergo therapist about accomodating my autistic needs #because being in a group setting is a Lot. #(if I work up the courage to actually talk to him about it lol) #anyway #my appointment this morning was good as well #and on the way back home my carer put me in charge of spotify to play music in his car #and the first thing I played was Don't Touch My Clogs #he laughed so hard (he didn't know this song) #he said I enternained him well and thanked me for it 🤣 #and i got some music recommendations from him too #(I have been shaking for two days straight and I have no idea why)

[alaiis]

Just saw a post that talked about the fact yes disabled people know their limits but it's more complex than that.

And it was about disabled people's agency being stripped away from us. How sometimes we can do thing but they won't let us. Because we're disabled.

And I wanted to comment about another thing on 'disabled people know their limits' but I didn't want to distract from this conversation so making a post instead.

Disabled people know their limits. Except when we don't.

I know it's difficult to say and to hear because it feels like it's the perfect admittance for ableists to strip us of the little autonomy we have.

But I'm disabled and I don't know my limits. But the thing is, other people don't know them either so don't dare them trying to tell me they know better.

Yes this is about late-diagnosed autism but I believe it can be the same for many other disabilities too.

Because I've been taught all my life I'm not disabled actually. So there is no reason I should not be able to do something that other people can do. That I should be able to be the same way.

It's about the constant exhaustion trying to live the way everyone lives and crashing ugly where everyone can't see it because it's too much. But it's about doing that all my life. And knowing only this way of living.

And now that I actually have recognition as a disabled person. Now that I can get accommodations and I'm not expected to do everything everyone does and the same way. I don't know where to start. I don't know what to ask for. And I keep doing the same.

Oh don't get me wrong there are the obvious things. I can wear ear protection now. But what about all the rest? I'm so exhausted constantly, how do I know where it comes from now? It's my whole life.

I finally started having a therapist who can help me with that. Learning my limits first. Learning to get them respected second. But it's taking a lot of time. And I'm still clueless about so many things.

And I'm so damn exhausted.

Disabled people know their limits. Except when we don't.

#i'm aware this concerns the 'not disabled enough to be stripped of autonomy community' #that our curse is not to lode agency but to struggle without help on end #and I'm very aware it needs to be told and told again #that we are the first to know our needs #not someone else #except in the case of high support autistics #and intellectually disabled people who really rely on their carer #and probably many other #which is another flavour on the 'sometimes we don't know' #anyway what I mean is that I know perfectly why we say thzt disabled people know their limits #and why it's important to say it #and the very big problem at the source that is being stripped of autonomy #and i'm not trying to counteract this very necessary activism #i just wanted to share my experience too #which is another kind of struggle #and does not fit into that #actually disabled #actually autistic #disability #autism

[headpats-for-charlie]

🤖Caregiver!Abed Nadir Headcanons💫

◇ really good with nonverbal kiddos

◇ will literally get you anything you need when ur impure or overstimmulated

◇ I like to imagine him caring for Annie n Troy mostly :3

◇ plays as ur favorite characters/makes up games for you to play together in the dreamatorium

◇ makes you a daily achievement chart with stickers!!

◇ always knows when you need a hug (and he gives rlly good hugs)

◇ honestly bad at cooking anything other than buttered noodles so he tries to order healthy stuff for you (or asks Annie to make something lol)

◇ spends a lot of time playing video games n watching TV with you; stuff that tiny you likes ofc :D

◇ unconsciously mimicks your humming n babbling bc it's a vocal stim habit of his

◇ really likes to explain things n tell you long stories if ur willing to listen- usually to fall asleep to

◇ calls you nerdy sci-fi petnames like "little starfighter" n you kinda love it

I'm so attached to himmm I hope other ppl will like this ><

#age regression #sfw agere #agere headcanons #sfw petre #sfw pet regression #pet regressor #sfw cglre #community nbc #sfw caregiver #agere carer #caregiver #cg headcanons #abed nadir #annie edison #troy barnes #sir thats my emotional support autistic #noodles stim #dice stim

[rosatheautie]

I’m not sorry.

I’m not sorry for being unlikeable. I never loved you or the way you spoke to me. I’m not sorry no matter how many times I said sorry to you. It was in fear, I was not apologetic. I tell you I only say sorry in fear, but you say “I would never do that!” But you would, you did, you do. I do not owe you being the perfect low support needs disabled daughter, because that is not me. I am not critical to you at all times, I am simply being honest and blunt. You are the critical one. You make my wants and problems about you.

#actually autistic #autism #mental health #neurodivergent #autistic #pathological demand avoidance #pda autism #autism spectrum disorder #disability #actuallyautistic #physically disabled #mentally ill #mental illness #ocd #mother #carers are not always nice #stop romanticizing it #stop romanticizing my life #it’s not okay #it’s not funny anymore #it’s not fair #its not fair #its not my fault #sad poems #poems on tumblr #poem of the day #poemsbyme #poems and quotes #writing #my thoughts

[anewbrainjughead]

i will say that the way poor things handles disability and disfigurement left a bad taste in my mouth

#i saw demi adejuyigbe write abt how it resonated with him through an autistic reading which i do think is cool #but idk something abt how and when we are supposed to empathise with intellectually disabled ppl #i get it i get that its allegorical and what not but idk something abt the only happy ending for disabled ppl #being a miraculous cure or death yknow #i understand it was a child brain and im being literal but idk #just the times that her mannerisms and behaviour earlier in the movie is played for laugh and how her happy ending is being smart #and needing no carers or helpers #so haha fuck you to remy youssef for calling her an ableist slur at the beginning #now shes his boss!! #its just very white and palatable #they would not make a movie like this with a less conventionally attractive lead bc ppl would just be grossed out #bc you can't act the way emma stone acts at the beginning of the film and not be bangable #the story is written around a conventionally attractive woman it wouldn't work if the person casted was less desirable #but tbh that is my problem. not just with this movie just like all of the big 'feminist' adjacent movies & tv shows of late #*played for laughs. look i make typos constantly i am bad at smartphones despite being a part of the smartphone gen

[bluegoblinfox]

Disassociated

World feels far away. Both moving too fast and too slow. I feel things but I don't know what they are let alone how to express them.

My eldest's mental health has deteriorated and it's triggered me to disassociate. They are ok for the now.

#mental health #plural system #living with cptsd #plurality #actually autistic #did system #functional neurological disorder #autism #carer #bpd

[puppys-tiny-space]

⚧️🏳️‍⚧️Trans regressors are so precious! The way they get so excited to play with toys they didn't get as kids and be seen as their true gender as a kid! We need to protect them at all cost.🏳️‍⚧️⚧️

Fun fact of the day: Manatees don't have natural predators besides humans

#pride month #trans regressor #boyre #noncom agere #sfw agere #safe agere #boy regression #boy regressor #agere post #agere community #autistic carer #autistic regression #autistic regressor #kid regressor #toddler regressor #baby regression #sfw littlespace #noncom regressor #noncom regression #queer regressors #sfw little post #age regressor #ageregression #kid regression #baby regressor #age regression #agere #agere little #toddler regression

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Hmnnngg Big Anxiety today

Trauma Cunt is working today but I've spoken to managers about my issues and they've said I can go and work in the flat next door instead when she's in. But like. It hasn't been said as a definite "You're working in here today" way? And so far I've only ever worked in one flat? So I'm really nervous about going in bc Uncertainty and also I haven't worked with the other kids before so I don't know their routines. And the app is fucking me over again and not letting me view their support plans

The good news though is four seperate people have complained about The Cunt in a single week, including one going directly to HR so like. Very much holding out hope this asshole is gonna lose her job and potentially her carers liscense

#like to be clear #and i have said this to management too #its not just that i dislike her. #like ive actually been overly polite abt her by explaining ahe specificslly triggers my trauma and so i dont feel comfortable criticising #bc its difficult for me to know when shes actually doing something wrong or if its just my brain going back into hypervigilant defence mode #but. like. she tells the AUTISTIC CHILDREN to shut up bc a movie is on. #she tries to grab stuff away from the kid who specifically becomes violent when agitated by having things taken away #(she literally caused him yo have a violent incident and then ran away while another staff member got injured) #i dont just dislike her. she actively is unfit to be a carer.

[butchfaith]

earlier this week i told my client i was gonna be in the play and when i came in today she'd clearly been researching great gatsby so she could talk to me about it 😭

#carer tag #research as an autistic love language 💛 #she is honestly so kind

[mochiipudding]

Just wan lay my head on mommy's lap (if I had one) and for her to brush my hair gently and talk to me sweetly and we are in our own little world and we don have anythins to worrie about

#sfw caregiver #age regression #sfw mommy #sfw carer #agere community #autistic agere #sfw agere #agere #age dreaming #agere blog #baby regression #baby regressor #autistic age regressor #agere carer #looking for sfw caregiver #mxmmy

[twisted-dad]

good afternoon baby! did you just wake up? thats okay. let dad pick you up, come here. what do you want for breakfast? ooo that sounds great! mind if we share? that just sounds to good! alright you lay on the couch and work on waking up, ill make us breakfast and start our day, alright? you’re lucky its a friday, you should be at daycare right now! did you have any good dreams?

alright sweetheart, breakfast is done! you ready to eat? alright, come here ill put you in your chair. here comes the airplane!!! wooooooo ✈️

good job! you ate it all! im so proud of you. lets go take a bath and sleep in today alright? you seem sleepy still!

#autistic agere #padded agere #activities ✦ #fandom agere #agere little #agere post #age regressor #safe agere #agere blog #carer blog #stamps #carerxsmol #carer agere #agere carer