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sister-lucifer · 2 years

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i cant aNON ANYWAYS. IM INSANE OSWALD/READER GIVE ME. GRABBY HANDS. NOW.

SEX. AUGH. ME WHEN I. IM DYING BUT. BRAIN IS SAYING SOMETHING LIKE. READERS HIS ASSISTANT AND SOMETHING. HAPPENS? I DONT KNOW I AM TIRED AND DISTRACTED

PLEASE VENT CRAWLER IF YOU HAVE BETTER IDEAS I AM OPEN TO SUGGESTION PLEASE 😭😭

The Secretary

Oswald Cobblepot A.K.A. The Penguin x Male Reader

Reader uses he/him and has a penis

Genre: Smut

Summary: Oswald finds out his favorite employee has a crush on him, and decides he deserves a reward for his hard work.

Content/Warnings: Oswald is oblivious, Oswald’s creepy dirty talk, Oswald can’t flirt or be sexy to save his life, blowjob(reader receiving), inappropriate workplace relations, office sex, Oswald bends you over the desk, a wee bit of biting, one (1) spank, some hair pulling, only sort of proof read (lmk if you spot any typos!)

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Notes: Pretzel you absolute fool. You’re lucky I love you. You can have a little Oswald sex as a treat

Oswald Cobblepot was certainly an interesting man, even if “interesting” had a completely different meaning depending on who you asked.

To you, interesting was attractive. It was powerful, but not just in the vein of his enterprise; his power was in his presence, in the very blood that ran through him. His power was in his strategy, in his cunning, in his ruthlessness that shone through at just the right times.

God, what a man.

And you were just lucky enough to snag a secretary position for that man.

Although you thought you’d been more than hiding your little crush, it had been painfully obvious to everyone; everyone but Oswald, of course. No one had EVER had a crush on HIM before, how was he supposed to know the signs?

The way you lingered in his office with a friendly conversation, the way you always had a coffee ready for him, the way you seemed to always have an excuse to be near him…

…Those could all be perfectly normal friend things!

Although, Oswald wasn’t completely free of blame either. He often found himself wondering about you, what you did when you left work, if you had a partner to go home to. Something about that last part always ticked him off a bit, but he couldn’t place what.

It was completely normal for him to worry about his best employee, right? Besides, he wouldn’t know a crush if it slapped him in the face, not to mention that the last time he loved someone it ended…less than favorably.

The possibility of romantic involvement never once crossed his mind.

That is, until a rather frustrated Mr. Penn was called to his office, muttering something about your poor performance.

“Mr. Cobblepot,” He began, quickly closing the door behind him. “There is a rather urgent matter that I must bring to your attention.”

Oswald sighed, sliding his feet off his desk and glaring daggers at Penn as he walked over.

“Urgent, Penn? Really? You said the broken hand dryers in the bathroom were ‘urgent.’”

“I mean it this time, Mr. Cobblepot. It’s about…” Penn paused, leaning in and lowering his voice as if he were afraid someone was listening.

“…your secretary.”

Oswald stood quickly, straightening his tie and adjusting his jacket.

“The secretary? Did something happen to him? Is he alright?”

“He’s fine, Mr. Cobblepot, but I’m afraid he’s having trouble fulfilling his duties.” Penn couldn’t help but let his frustration slip through a bit at his boss’s obvious show of favoritism.

Oswald quirked a brow in confusion.

“What do you mean? He’s been working just fine. Why, just yesterday he stayed late to help me with my paperwork.”

“That’s just the thing, Mr. Cobblepot!” Penn sighed, adjusting his glasses. “He’s been working excellently for you, but he’s been neglecting his other duties, and I think I may know why…”

Oswald returned to his seat, resting his chin in his hand as he waited for Penn to continue.

“I-I think—and, apologies if this is, um, presumptuous—that he maybe, might have a sort of…crush on you—“

Oswald’s eyes slowly widened, and suddenly his heartbeat was so loud in his ears it made it hard to listen to Penn.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Oswald interrupted, “What the hell are you talking about, Penn?”

“W-Well, forgive me sir, but it’s quite obvious. It’s been the talk of the office for the past week! Have you ever noticed how much time he spends in your office? O-Or, how he spaces out when you’re around? He’s practically attached at your hip, sir, and it’s affecting his work.”

Oswald merely nodded, eyes falling to his desk as he processed the words. He wasn’t really sure how to react. On one hand, this was very exciting, knowing that maybe you too had been thinking of him. On the other, it made him nervous and a little embarrassed to think about how improper he had acted around you, wondering if it damaged your view of him.

“Now, Mr. Cobblepot,” Penn continued, “It is up to you how you deal with this, but I suggest that you do something.“

“Yes, yes…I’ll be sure to, um— look into it. You may leave now.”

“B-But Mr. Cobblepot, I also need to tell you about—“

“I said you can leave. Now.”

And with that Mr. Penn was scurrying off, Oswald’s sharp gaze following him until the doors closed once more.

Oswald leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling as he pondered. Was there really a solution here? He wasn’t really worried about your work performance, of course, but now that he knew that you were into him he was worried he would make things awkward. Just thinking about you being here was making him nervous!

He knew that neither of you could just turn off your feelings, and it would be unfair to ask you to do so. It would be even more unfair to fire you, so that was certainly off the table.

Could Oswald even afford a relationship right now? Someone of his status and reputation certainly had a target on his back, and it would put one on yours too. But no one needed to know, Oswald could

keep a secret if you could…

He quickly shook the idea from his thoughts, his mind wandering to less than savory places much too quickly. One thing was for sure, though, he needed to talk to you.

Oswald waited until the next day to summon you to his office. Your heart skipped a beat when you heard the request, and before you knew it you were up and out of your chair. You were always happy to see Mr. Cobblepot, and you made sure to bring your clipboard in case you needed to take notes.

“Mr. Cobblepot?” You called as you knocked on the door.

“Come in,” He replied, eyes already locked onto you as you stepped in as if he had been looking at you through the door.

“Good morning, Mr. Cobblepot!”

Your cheery tone was an unexpected but welcome surprise. Even Oswald had to return your smile.

“Good morning, secretary. How has your day been?”

“Just lovely, Oswald, thank you. Even better now that I get to see you. How about you?”

Oswald stared at you from across his desk for a moment, a pink tint crossing his cheeks.

“Oh, uh— I-I’m just fine, thank you.”

There was a brief period of awkward silence as Oswald collected himself, tugging down his sleeves and drumming his fingers on his desk as he stood. Finally, he cleared his throat before he spoke.

“So, as I’m sure you assumed, there is something I need to discuss with you.”

“Yes, sir?” You replied as you readied your clipboard and pen.

“It’s about your work performance.”

Oswald could see the way your expression dropped. It made him feel bad for using such ominous wording, but he didn’t want to move too fast.

“It has been brought to my attention that you tend to…neglect some of your duties. Is that true?”

You paused, letting out a sigh. It was true, really, but you didn’t want to just stay that. You knew how touchy Oswald could be, and you simply couldn’t afford to lose this job.

“W-Well…” You began, carefully considering your words, “I thought I had been doing decently, but i-if I need to do more…”

“Don’t lie to me, secretary.”

His harsh tone made you flinch. You merely nodded, holding your clipboard against your chest.

“I have also been informed that there is a sort of…rumor going around about you that may be related.”

“…Rumor?”

“Yes. A rumor concerning…your, um, feelings…towards me…”

Your heart skipped a beat. Did he know about your crush? If he did, was he mad? Would he fire you? Or worse, have you killed? And if he didn’t know, what sort of horrible gossip had been going around that he felt the need to call you in for it?

“W…W-What do you mean, sir?”

You were frozen in place as Oswald began to move, slowly making his way around the desk toward you, the click of his shoes loud as gunshots in your ears.

“You know what I mean, secretary. I was blind not to see it until it was brought to my attention. It’s flattering, really, how much time and effort you put into…how did he describe it? ‘Being attached at my hip?’” His voice was like velvet on his tongue, nearly putting you in a trance as he reached forward to toy with your hair.

“I-I’m sorry sir, I never meant to—“

You were quickly silenced when Oswald put a finger to your lips. Your cheeks felt unbearably hot as he leaned in, merely staring down your face for a long while.

“Let me ask you something,” Oswald began, not moving from his close proximity, making you gulp and grip your clipboard so hard your fingers hurt.

“Do you think such feelings are appropriate for the workplace?”

“…No, sir,” You admitted. You cast your gaze downward in shame.

“I didn’t think so. Now, let me ask you something else…”

You trembled beneath his gaze, flinching when you felt his hand on your shoulder.

“…Can you keep a secret?“

“W…What?”

The sound of Oswald’s hands slamming down on the desk on both sides of you made you yelp, your clipboard and pen falling to the floor before promptly being kicked away.

“Can you keep a secret, secretary?”

You were sure Oswald could feel the heat radiating off of you. Even as you nodded, the entire situation was so surreal you were unsure if he had really said what you’d heard.

He leaned in even further, if that was somehow possible, his face mere inches from yours. Your shaky breath fanned over his skin.

“Something wrong, secretary?” He growled, voice low and deep.

“Oh, not at all, sir,” You replied in a heavy breath. In an impulsive moment of boldness you closed the gap, allowing your lips to meet his for just a moment before you pulled away again. Your eyes scanned his face, waiting for his reply.

Before you knew it he was practically devouring your soft lips, holding your face and forcing his tongue down your throat. It was sudden and uncoordinated, but that was always part of Oswald’s charm. You gladly welcomed the rough advances, throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him in as close as you could.

His restless hands ran up and down your body, looking for even an inch of skin, but that was easier said than done with your work attire.

He pulled away with a huff, turning his attention to fumbling with your belt and work pants. You decided to help him out, undoing the buttons on your shirt but not getting the chance to take it all the way off before he was done. Your pants and belt clattered to the floor, your now rock hard cock straining against your boxers. Oswald felt you up shamelessly, groping your bulge before moving on to your now exposed chest and midriff. His hands ran over every bit of skin they could find, touching everywhere he could reach, his callouses leaving your skin tingling.

“Oh, Mr. Cobblepot—“ You stuttered out, only to curtly be corrected.

“Oswald.”

“O…Oswald…” You echoed, relishing the feeling of his name on your tongue. He pulled you into another kiss for just a moment before he was moving onto your neck, tugging on your hair to keep your head back. He wasted no time getting to work, sucking and biting until every part of your neck and shoulders had a mark or bruise.

“More, Oswald—!” You pleaded in a raspy whisper. He bit down hard on your shoulder, making you arch your back and let out a broken moan. When he finally pulled away from your abused flesh, you were panting.

You both took a few moments to catch your breath. You brought Oswald down to you, pressing your forehead to his in a tender show of affection. Your free hand moved to grip his wrist, guiding his hand to where your cock throbbed in your boxers.

“Oswald…I-I need you…”

You had hardly finished your sentence before he was on his knees, ripping down your boxers and making your erection spring up against your stomach. You sighed in sweet relief.

Your boxers were quickly discarded and pushed away along with your pants and belt to be forgotten until you were done. Oswald was clearly eager, wrapping a hand around your cock and immediately sliding the tip past his lips.

“O-Oh—! Oswald…!” You whined, gripping his hair. He was never one to be patient, and you wouldn’t expect anything else.

You didn’t notice his free hand sliding up your leg until two of his fingers were poking at your entrance. They pushed in without warning, causing your hold on Oswald’s hair to tighten and making him moan around your length.

You whined through gritted teeth as he forced his digits in deeper. His movements were less than coordinated, often clumsy and certainly without a steady pace, but you didn’t mind. It didn’t matter when he could hit so deep inside of you.

More and more of your length disappeared into his mouth and down his throat. He took in as much as he could, even if he had to force himself. He didn’t care when you were moaning above him.

He soon added a third finger, each thrust somehow hitting even deeper than the last. His fingers curled just right, hitting all your sweet spots even if he had no idea what he was doing. He spread his fingers as much as he could, trying to ready you to take his cock as much as his paper-thin patience would allow.

The way you whined his name and pushed him onto your cock only encouraged him. He used every trick he could; he made a show of moaning around your length, the noises sending vibrations through you, and flicking his tongue over your sensitive tip.

Soon you could no longer grip his hair; instead you had to brace yourself against his desk to keep steady. Your nails dug into the underside of the desk hard enough that Oswald could hear the scraping, but he easily drowned it out with his own lewd noises.

“Oh, Oswald…! P-Please—“ You stuttered, legs trembling beneath you. “Please, more! I-I wanna cum…”

Oswald couldn’t give a verbal answer, but he didn’t need to. He’d taken so much of your length he couldn’t go any further, his nose bumping against your navel. He swallowed around you, taking great delight in the way you shuddered at the feeling of his throat constricting around your twitching cock.

A fourth finger prodded at your entrance and eventually slipped in, ripping a high pitched moan from your throat. It felt like each thrust of Oswald’s fingers hit deeper than you ever thought possible, and it made your head spin.

“Oswald, I-I— I’m gonna cum—“ You choked out, “I-I wanna cum in your mouth, please—!”

Oswald gladly obliged, using his free hand to steady your hips now that his mouth could do all of the work on your cock. Your moans began to grow louder despite your attempts to stifle them; at first you were worried that someone outside may hear you, but the closer you got to your release the less you cared.

You hardly even managed to slur out a warning before all at once you were releasing down his throat. Oswald almost choked, but he made himself stay until you were completely done. Even then you were still calling out his name, even if it was fizzling out into a whisper.

Finally he pulled off, releasing your cock with a wet pop. He slowly retracted his hand, admittedly leaving you feeling a bit empty. His hands found your hips as he stood, and soon he was pulling you into another kiss. You could taste yourself on his lips.

This kiss wouldn’t last long, though. He had prepped you, and now it was time for the main event.

“Over the desk, secretary.”

It took a moment to process the command. When you did, though, you were turning around so fast you nearly fell over. You pushed back against Oswald, and you could hear his breath hitch.

“Now, now, secretary…” He hissed through his teeth, gripping your hips to keep them still. “Remember your place.”

You nodded, making sure to keep still when he pulled back to unbuckle his belt. You were giddy with excitement when you heard it clank against the floor, and then the shuffle of his pants and boxers as they fell shortly after.

He was on you in a second, shifting the desk with how eagerly he pounced on you, wrapping his body around yours. He was grinding against you shamelessly, spewing filth into your ear under his breath.

“You— You, little secretary, should consider yourself lucky—“

You could practically hear the saliva pooling in his mouth; he was almost drooling over you.

“So lucky to not only be in the presence of Oswald Cobblepot, but to be allowed his pleasure?!” His voice was high pitched and raspy, as it always became when he was particularly excited.

“You, my secretary, have no idea how lucky you are!”

His ego was spilling over, unimaginably inflated by the way you shivered and mewled beneath him. You wouldn’t dare argue, though; you were quite lucky, after all. It was painfully obvious that Oswald was not exactly charismatic, and definitely no Casanova. He wasn’t close with anyone, and up until just recently had been much too paranoid to hold a relationship, not to mention he didn’t find himself particularly attractive. His ego was massive, sure, but fragile, and even the slightest bit of criticism could set him off, often leading to a self esteem spiral. Anyone else would have been pushed away long ago.

You, though, found his rough exterior to be the source of your intrigue. You’d imagined scenarios such as this one many times, but no fantasy could ever amount to the real thing. Oswald was inexperienced and overzealous, a bit inconsiderate even, but it was perfect that way.

It showed through more than ever when he was suddenly pushing into you without warning. You would have screamed if the sound hadn’t been caught in your throat.

Something like a breathy laugh that turned into a moan managed to make its way past Oswald’s lips. His breath was warm in your ears, his nails digging into your skin as he forced his length into you. He had to stop to catch his breath once he had filled you completely.

“God…I-I’ve never felt…like this before…”

“You…You doing alright there, Oswald?” You asked in a heavy breath. The question was genuine, but there was a bit of teasing behind it.

“Mind your own, secretary. I-I’ll be fine…” He muttered in reply. He shifted a bit behind you, making you squirm. What was he waiting for?! You needed him to pound you now.

All of a sudden you could feel him pulling back, and you braced yourself against the desk. He didn’t go very far, but he didn’t have to when he was shoving back into you with full force. You yelped, the entire desk shaking beneath you and causing a few things to fall over and onto the ground.

“Oswald—! A-Ah—!”

He wasted no time starting slow; he was thrusting into you with all his strength, and for a long while without proper pace or rhythm. That didn’t mean it wasn’t just as enjoyable, though. Not knowing when he would fill you again was incredibly exciting.

“You like that, baby?” He growled against your neck. You nodded in response, mouth hanging half open as you panted.

“Words, secretary!”

Oswald emphasized his point with a spank, making you jump.

“Y-Yes, Oswald! More, please!”

“More? Already?! I didn’t realize my secretary was such a whore.”

You brought a hand up to cradle his face, rubbing your cheek against his.

“Only for y-you, Oswald…”

His eyes widened for a moment before a sly grin broke out across his face. The quickest way to Oswald’s heart was to feed his ego.

“Oh my, already so obedient…I think I’ll keep you.”

He reached up to yank on your hair, even harder than before, making you hiss from the pleasurable sting. He was soon at your neck once more, biting and bruising any small spot he had missed before.

Your nails scratched and dug deep into his desk. If you were anyone else in any other situation, you would get an earful for vandalizing his expensive mahogany. This time, though, Oswald wanted those marks to be there; he wanted a permanent reminder of when he claimed you as his own (not to mention no one else would notice it, which was a welcome plus).

“O-Oswald—!” You choked out. It was getting harder to form words each passing second.

“Oswald…n-need…need you to t-touch me—!”

His hands slid around your front, starting at your chest. He toyed with your nipples, delighting in the way you mewled when he pinched them just right.

“Touch you where, secretary, hm?”

“M…M-My…”

“Spit it out!” He punctuated his sentence with a particularly hard thrust, practically forcing the words out of you.

“M-My cock—! Please, please touch my cock, Oswald!”

He couldn’t help but laugh a bit, his chuckle coming out as a sickly sweet, high pitched giggle. He gladly fulfilled your request, his warm palms sliding down your torso until he could wrap a hand around your length.

You tightened around him at the feeling, your sensitive cock twitching in his hand. It was a bit overwhelming when paired with the way Oswald was jackhammering into you, but you wouldn’t have wanted anything less.

As badly as Oswald wanted to keep you like this until the work day was over, he couldn’t hold himself back when your tight hole was clenching around him so deliciously. He picked up the pace with his hand, hoping to push you to your release before his.

Just when he had found a steady pace and some semblance of coordination, he was starting to lose it again. All he cared about now was finding his climax, and he was much too busy with that to worry about his rhythm. He left no spot untouched, that was for sure, each vein on his cock scraping against your walls. Soon you weren’t even processing each individual thrust, unable to feel anything besides the pleasure that shook you with each of his movements.

You were weak in the knees, relying fully on the desk to support you or else your trembling legs would surely buckle beneath your weight. Your pleas for more had long dissolved into pathetic moans, but you didn’t need words when Oswald seemed to know exactly what you needed.

With your release fast approaching, you managed one last request.

“Oswald…I-I want you…to fill me—!”

He groaned against your neck, his iron grip on your waist faltering for just a moment.

“What was that, secretary?”

“I want you to cum in me, Oswald! Please!”

“Oh my, so needy.” Oswald scoffed, feigning annoyance despite the shake in his voice. He would happily oblige, though, under one condition:

“Cum for me first.”

You were more than ecstatic to agree. Your tongue lolled out of your mouth in your overstimulated state, and Oswald was quick to pull you into another sloppy kiss.

You tried to warn him before you came, really you tried, but he refused to release your lips. That was okay though, because the way you writhed beneath him and the way you desperately whimpered into his mouth was more than enough to tell him you were close.

All at once you came into his palm, practically screaming into the kiss as it spilled out past his hand and onto the floor. He would have some poor janitor clean it up later.

Finally he was forced to pull away from the kiss to breathe. You arched your back into him, tensing around his cock as your orgasm washed over you. His low grunts grew louder and louder until he was drawling out long, broken calls of your name that were hardly more than drug-out moans. He was humping you like a dog in heat, far more sensitive to the pleasure you brought him than he would ever admit.

He gave no word of warning before he came either, merely one last tug on your hair before you could feel his warm seed rushing into you. With your last bit of energy you managed to scream his name for him as he filled you with everything he had.

His thrusts didn’t stop for a long while after, not until he was completely done and was forced to slow to a stop from the overstimulation. Even just the feeling of you tightening around him nearly made him yelp.

You went limp against the desk, your entire body weak and sweat dripping down your forehead. You were sore, exhausted and sticky, not to mention you could feel Oswald’s cum leaking down your legs and into your socks, but you couldn’t have cared less.

“Oswald…” You rasped out, “Are…a-are you okay?”

“Oh, I’ve never been better…you’re the best secretary I’ve ever had…”

You admittedly chuckled at this, patting his cheek and giving him a quick peck on the lips.

If Oswald could’ve stayed nestled deep inside you, he would have. Unfortunately, he was only a man, and his entire lower body was unspeakably sore. He made himself pull out, and it took all of his willpower not to collapse onto the ground.

He cleaned you up as best he could before sitting you down in his chair, laying your discarded clothes in your lap before going to put his pants back on.

“Stay here. I’ll go get you a towel and some water and whatever else you need, ok?” He planted a kiss on your forehead as you nodded. He began to walk away, but before he left he turned to say one last thing:

“Oh, and remind me to give you a big fat promotion first thing tomorrow.”

#gotham x male reader #gotham #gotham smut #gotham x reader #gotham headcanons #the penguin x reader #the penguin gotham #the penguin #oswald cobblepot #oswald cobblepot x reader #oswald cobblepot smut

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ackee · 7 months

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DID SOMEBODY SAY GOTH RECOMMENDATIONS!!!

haiii ^^ i’ll just give u a couple cause i don’t mainly listen to goth, also some ppl consider some of these “new wave” rather than “goth” but like really i don’t care. it’s all music. we’re all having fun. lets all be silly and melancholy together. ok here we go

- She Wants Revenge

(fair warning these songs r all abt NSFW topics lol) you’ve likely already heard of this one! Tear You Apart is their most popular song (i think it was used in AHS but i don’t watch it lol), and for good reason like augh. his voice is so satisfying. the whole album is decent, but here’s some of my favs

Red Flags And Long Nights

I Don’t Want To Fall In Love

- Strawberry Switchblade

OOOHHHHH MY GOD IM LIKE. ok i’m genuinely obsessed w them. ok. hi. i’m normal. it’s so devastating bc they only have the one album cause the band just couldn’t stay together but still, it’s actually like my favorite album. it’s probably one of the only albums out there where i just like every single song equally but OK HERE if u only wanna listen to a few here’s my favs

Ecstasy (ONE OF THE SONGS EVER RAAAHH ok so this one actually sounds very different from the others but idc it’s just so lovely <3 )

Black Taxi

10 James Orr Street (god like i could listen to this song 100000 times and never get tired of it)

Who Knows What Love Is? (the love song ever it’s so. if you’re yearning listen to this 🙏)

Trees And Flowers (OH MYG OD LIKE HELP. I CANT STOP LISTENING TI YHSI ONE SERUOSULY IT E LIKE BEIWHOAHSO HI.)

- Twin Tribes

ok i only discovered these guys recently so i haven’t listened to all their stuff yet, but still it’s all very lovely. here’s my favs from what i’ve heard so far

Perdidos

Upir

The River

Heart & Feather

okiii that’s all for now hehe i hope u like them!!

THANK U!!! listening to some of these songs, unsure why i thought the genre(?) would be crazier... i was expecting death metal fr.. these songs are quite indie pop..

#the goth song to goth outfit ratio feels crazy rn.. im intrigued. will listen to more tomorrow ty..#musique #save #askee #long post

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sinkableruby · 11 months

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What are your top 5 Ougi scenes/appearances?

good ask to send me than,k you

starting from 5 well i guess i dont really have like a strict order except for maybe the top one i dont know i dont know i love all of them actually im just gonna do it in chrono order

um spoilers of course dont read this if u havent finished the whole anime (the whole anime!) there will be screencaps...

okay if im going chronoogically i must give my hat to owarimonogtari part 1. wait FUCK theres so many scenes in that shit.......... im gonna be running out of space damnit.... well to summarize it BRIEFLY... (how the fuck do you even summarize it briefly my feelings are large and want to burst out of my chest)... ougis sinister leading araragi down dark paths and poking at his past and knowing the deal but playing-dumbery and antics are just amazing. and shes so cool as she does it how did she get to be that cool! evil and cool.... thats the summary but the scene i would want to talk about is of course the showdown with hanekawa (the first one i guess). uh bc its like really funny? the showdown is great its such a fun buildup of tension and they're like passive-aggressive/plain-aggressive-but-still-loosely-following-social-boundaries trying fighting each other... its great. i think in the light novels when hanekawa says 'but i would have done a better job' ougis smile freezes. you can hear the glass break. you can just hear her in her head shes going like ".......................bitch,? so that's how you wanna play it?" i wish that got animated sometimes. and also of course. it ends how it ends.

its an incredible moment because literally the moment she says this you're like ah. i see. so ougi loses. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

LIKE GG NO RE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 SORRY OUGI YOU LOST.... DONMAI ITS OK DONT WORRY ABOUT IT. YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO SEE ANYTHING AFTER ITS LIKE AH. GOTCHA. i was rooting for her to win when i was watching but... this was just so funny. the best way for things to have gone i think.

its also so good how she stands there after like. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.......... usually ougi is the one doing things to people and its funny but this is also just so hilarious its done so well.

i also want to talk about otori, because ougi in otori is very cool. my first time watching otori i was very in tune with nadeko so hearing ougi do a kinda takedown of her was a very interesting experience for me. she was very sinister and severe and foreboding...... very fun. and of course when it turns out she's been tugging at the strings..... heeheehee THATS SO COOL. i mean looking at these scenes like some of these shots are so cool.

^ the face of someone so evil......

ok going later

i never see people talking about this one but the scene in hitagi rendevous in owari ge that happens on the second episode after the ending is like. oogh. its like the big instance before the finale proper in ougi dark where the show starts fucking slapping you in the face screaming "PAY ATTENTION THERE'S SOMETHING IMPORTANT HAPPENING HERE"

like this shot this FUCKING SHOT. is it just me? is it just me am i the only one who feels acute pain at this? there's something about it thats just so............... like somethings wrong. like thats what i feel like something is wrong and im concerned for this person you feel me?

shes so tired trying to get his attention and do her job and all that shes pressing the doorbell laying down... and then she sees him and goes like 'im exhausted' and just keeps girlbossing like. and like asks araragi (from her perspective) not to kill her and hes just like no and shes just like damn that sucks oh well lol. like imagine being alive for 6 months having no home (shes laying on the god damn nameplate of his house augh...) and knowing full well you're about to die, the things youre seeing now will be some of the last things you ever experience before your consciousness is gone forever (bc she isnt going to hell shes being erased). that's so cool and awesome (horrifying). anyway ougi doesnt care shes got a job to do X) (shes so insane i love her)

also that home thing and the tiredness thing is one of the big things i wrote ougi stay about so ill just take the chance to plug it if ur still reading this go read my fic! i like it a lot i think its nice. its mostly funny but it also talks about this stuff too a bit. go read it

ok next.

dont know whether to count the different parts of this scene as separate or not but i think it shouldnt be separated bc its all important to the scene and that is OF COURSE: ougi dark starting with ougi's convo with tsukihi (the build up… it's oddly calm so you feel somewhat reassured but you KNOW something's going to happen… the buildup of tension starts here and keeps rising). the contents of that conversation, near the end are like, really cool things to be included because up until that point we still dont have SO much insight as to who ougi is but she opens up a bit to tsukihi here and its kind of a paradigm shift to see.

there's something so poignant about this fraught mood...

such an ougi way of talking about one's feelings about oneself...

at least for me when i was watching i was already like, kinda rooting for ougi bc i wanted bad things to happen to araragi (lol) but also like. ougis just so insanely entertaining and fun that like, uh obviously i would root for her here. so when this fun silly funny little fun character starts bustin out the:

its like woah wait huh back up hold on a second there. i care you>???????

like literally the whole confrontation with ougi and araragi it is just like oh no since when did i care about this character so much oh no oh god oh fuck...

like how come they gotta hit me with all these gut punches what did i do to deserve this

like whats so cool about it is with how its directed and the score (and the voice acting!! the seiyuu did an INCREDIBLE job) and everything you can tell shes scared but like again shes actually insane so she's just gonna be like yeah this is the right way for things to happen

(it seems a lot like she did all this wanting the outcome of her losing to araragi, at least to me. hanekawa also says so in the commentary tracks of ougi dark. so thats another layer. theres so many layers... i dont know how many of these layers people pick up on but by golly do i pick up on them)

and of course he saves her (imagine if he didnt? id kill him. WAIT ACTUALLY THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE "ARARAGI SHOULDNT HAVE SAVED HER" NEVER GO ON THE REDDIT DISCORD SERVER FOR MONOGATARI PEOPLE ACTUALLY THINK THIS WAY IM LITERALLY GOING TO KILL THEM ITS SO. ok i wont talk about it), and she gets mad and its like i KNEW you were putting up a bold front you had emotions this whole time and then its like. oh you had emotions this whole time and you were totally aware of everything and just kinda had to deal with it thats kinda fucked up (i think a lot about how being an oddity born of self-criticism necessarily means you have to be self-aware and how that leads to ougi being a kind of exceptional type of oddity and like how it ties into identity and like... all that stuff). but the emotional breakdown/outburst is so good... augggghhghhh its so good 😭😭😭

(like i think sometimes about how if they had done this wrong, it would feel out of place for ougis generally not-emotion-showing character/not emotional in general character, but they did it so well... its so good)

and of COURSE to cap off this perfect beautiful wonderful scene we get THE GWEH AKA THE PEAK OF FICTION. IT DOESNT GET BETTER THAN THIS. NO IM NOT JOKING. LITERALLY WHEN I SAW THIS I HAD AN EPIPHANY. NOT JUST BECAUSE ITS ADORABLE BUT BECAUSE ITS LIKE HOLY SHIT INTUITIVELY A PART OF ME UNDERSTANDS. THIS *IS* **THE** BEST CHARACTER. and i went to go pace around my room being hype about it. im not joking really bc the novel talks about it being like "an utterly unattractive true-to-life" groan or something that proves she has "substance" which is like... yeah! she's her own person! not just made of lies or w/e!! the gweh actually ties everything together in such a perfect way and i am physically incapable of remaining in bad mood after i see it. i saw it the first time and i was like :O -> :) -> :DDDDDDDDDD and that hasn't changed since it will always put a smile on my face 😌

also also ougi in zoku owari is incredible too so good. the TEEHEE THE TEEHEE IS SO AMAZING. like YEAH!!!! YOURE A LITTLE ROTTEN PRANKSTER TEEHEE!!!!!! YEAH!!!! TRICKSTER TIME TIME TO BE TRICKY A TRICKY LITTLE TRICKSTER YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! and we get more classic ougi exposition/explanation..... havent talked about this as much but their ideas are so interesting.... theyre so interesting and cool i would pay to hear them share ideas about things.............. anyway one other thing i really appreciate about this scene is the shared intimacy between ougi and araragi. it feels more personal yk. this sorta comfortable, natural, thoughtless intimacy is something i absolutely adore about their dynamic but it basically only happens right here in zoku owari, and not even so much in the light novel version. its interesting... i want to write about it. im GOING to write about it mark my words

also honorable mention to ougi in hanamonogatari. theres nothing like big enough about these scenes to mention in comparison with the rest of them bc theyre so short but. BOY OUGI YEAHHHHHHHHHHH HES TRANS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i saw that and i was like >:) yeah kanbaru wym hes been a boy this whole time >:)))) don't misgender him god...... >:))))))))))))) (AND HE LOOKS SO COOL THEY ANIMATED HIM SO COOL BC HES IN BOYMODE HES SUCH A BOY FUCK YEAH)

also fuck i didnt talk about the whole planetarium dream scene. that was also good.

ummm yeah i could just talk about this forever and keep talking about scenes and stuff but ill leave it here bc u said 5 and ive already technically named like 7 at least so. yeah. but i dont really have like a ranking order necessarily, except for ougi dark bc its just so so so SO good.

thank you for enabling my derangement ive been writing this since u sent it to me im so ougipilled right now you wouldnt even believe. im ougi wired.

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corntort · 11 months

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AUGH im just gonna say the hcs now because im totally gonna forget if i dont.

DREAD KNIGHT DEATH SONG:

to elaborate on some of my break doodles today

dread knights, when in a group and Pissed off at a common target, will have a song they trill and click and hum for a very Haunting tune. if you were to separate them and just have One dread knight singing their part, it wouldnt sound rhythmic at all. itd just sound like a bunch of disjointed clicks/barks/trills/shrieks/whatever their part is. its gotta be part of the Bigger melody to really be cohesive as a Song rather than a disjointed noise.

youd imagine the dread knights that have the very Loud parts would be the more skilled ones, but its the knights with the hushed hums and hisses and growls you have to look out for. those are the more skilled.

another idea given by giga in the hylemxylem was banging on armor to add percussion to the song. so dread knights armor being made not only for protection, status, aesthetic, but also Musical Functionality, would be very cool. rough ridges to slide a blade over to make a scraping/rattling noise and chestplates made with the intent to work as a drum as well. etc etc its a very cool thought !!!

in regards to pongorma, initially his part was a loud bark of sorts. but as he mellowed out in h2 his is more of a growl that ends with a hiss.

he's very prideful of his part, but also a bit protective of it, trying as much as possible to keep it to himself. sometimes, without realizing, she slips into her part, especially during combat. dedusmuln picked up on it on a rare instance she did it Outside of combat and tried to play along with her drums to the Vague rhythm she could parse.

to copy and paste a discord message. her reaction to dedus playing along (or trying to) qould be A VERY convoluted one, theres an eruption of joy from her chest because dedus is playing along? how could they parse it was part of a melody? but theres also Rage because theyre not a dread knight, be quiet, and just be you. BUT also a feeling of somberness because thats not how the rhythm went.

it gets kinda messy with her ensuing outburst because its a Lot on her emotional plate suddenly, but she apologizes and fixes dedusmulns drum after the whole ordeal blows over and shes calmed down.

now for the Much smaller hc

SOMSNOSA PARALYSIS:

to explain my latest comic

somsnosa struggles with a debilitating depression leaving her drained, tired, uninspired, and paralyzed a Lot, especially in h1. hell i think you meet her in the middle of her depression induced executive dysfunction bout the first time you see her, but she snaps out of it quickly because of dedusmuln being there and them not being acquainted yet. she doesnt want a stranger seeing her when shes most vulnerable.

she gets it much much more sparingly by the time of h2, but still catches up to her sometimes. and when it hits it Hits, shes tensed up and frozen for possibly hours in what starts off as an uncomfortable tenseness and escalates slowly into a Painful ache. but she cant move so it just gets worse until her body gets tired and she stress naps it off.

but to help, even at least a little, holding her and/or rubbing her back/stroking a hand through her hair usually helps at least a tad with getting her out of her own head. helps get her grounded, and with time she can loosen up and not be held so Taut by her paralysis.

#rambles #hylics #YIPPEE ok im winding down now #GOODNIGHT

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emmett-time · 8 months

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blog intro ^_^

i see other blogs do this and i have no unique thoughts of my own :3

◊18+ blog not for minors◊

Before we get started, @magical-horses is my "official" main blog. If you get a like from them, majority of the time I follow it up with a reblog to this account. Just letting ya know!

hieeee im emmett (hazel is fine too!), im 24, use they/them pronouns (sometimes it/its pronouns as well!), therian, and tired. if you cant be normal about any of this basic info I'm probably not the blog you wanna follow.

i jump from hyperfixation to hyperfixation and right now its: vocaloid

i reblog whatever i want when i want. once again, please no minors

frequently used tags for you to mute for whatever reason:

◊higurashi - murder mystery manga/visual novel/anime. wont reblog anything gorey from it tho i prommy ◊vocaloid - different vocaloid content ◊teto - teto kasane [separated from vocaloid not bc shes a utau/synthV but bc shes so very special to me] ◊wwdits - show about vampires and their hijinks with their familiar (I still need to watch the og series augh) ◊woof woof bark - therian bullshit ◊nsft- suggestive topics ◊jerma - jerma ◊fav/fave - silly memes i really like

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wisteria-lodge · 1 year

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bird primary + snake secondary (bird model)

hi! apologies if this is all over the place, im going a little crazy. so, i am going absolutely crazy trying to figure out my primary and secondary. i used to think i was a snake bird (modeling badger snake), but then i started thinking about it and went “hm. maybe im actually a double snake?” and now im thinking i might be a lion snake or . something. i have absolutely no idea. i do know ive either exploded or burnt both primary and secondary at some point though.

So some Exploding or Burning, probably an Internal primary (Snake or Lion) with an I Move secondary (Bird or Snake.) Let’s see what we have.

so, ive always thought i must be a snake primary because i’m very people-oriented (and i regard people with a certain type of possessiveness), but thats mostly because like… i have an intrinsic fear of being alone thanks to lgbt things (im aromantic - so the internalized arophobia and fear of dying alone is REAL big, esp considering my ex was just straight-up an arophobe) and mental illness issues (i have autism and ptsd that both mesh together to create my being incredibly anxious when around new people/situations - which doesnt lend itself well to interacting with others, so when i do latch onto someone, i latch on HARD).

Just breathe. It’s okay. But yeah, that’s survival mode human stuff. We do have Burnt secondary language “not good at dealing with new people/situations” etch. And you *did* apologize to me first thing, which is my favorite litmus test for whether a secondary is burnt or not.

i would not feel bad dropping each and every person in my life for literally zero reason other than i didnt like their vibes. in fact, i really wish i felt comfortable enough to do that!

Cool. That’s kinda badass. Make me think Idealist primary... and probably Lion, who are classically the most comfortable being loners.

im so tired all the time, and being the resident mom friend doesnt help that at all.

ooooh we’ve got a burnt secondary, compensating Badger secondary model. (Or possibly just badger secondary.)

ive honestly started getting a bit resentful of my friends bc i feel like theyre making me take care of them (though i know they arent).

That’s a common problem with Badger secondary people who aren’t *really* protective of their boundaries.

so… i guess it would be helpful to explain my morals and motivations, huh?? to be blunt, i really dont know what they currently are. ive started pulling away from relying on other people. which is really healthy for me i think. i used to rely on my ex in particular to handle all of my morals (with them convincing me i was actually evil in the process - they were abusive) and im really glad that im healing enough to stop outsourcing at least that, but im still trying to build up… something to rely on.

You’re the second SortMe post in a row that to use the specific phrase “outsourcing my morals,” but I don’t think I’m going to sort you the same way, and I’ll tell you why.

Mainly what I am doing here is making what I consider to be statistically likely guesses. I’ve read a lot of these, and it’s enough to start seeing patterns. And I can tell you that “gaslighting ex” is MUCH more of Burnt Bird primary story, than a Burnt Lion primary story. Put that together with “I’m trying to build up... something to rely on”... and I’d be very surprised if you weren’t a Bird, friend.

i really dont ever feel quite secure. especially not enough to actually express myself as myself. hopping from relationship to relationship has been my stand-in for support up to now, but relationships are just … augh. i dont like them. ive always also felt a drive to protect and care for people (and animals! i wanted to do wildlife rehab growing up, and on the people side ive been interested in anthropology) in need

Sounds like a pretty good start to building a system.

which sounds very badgery on paper, but honestly i cant relate to badgers really at all. something about it just doesnt really fit me, i guess? i cant relate to the community aspect of it. like yes, every person is a person, but also like. thats not whats important to me. i want to do good things, and be good, or at least better than i was before, and yes that involves taking care of those in need (to me at least), but its not… like how badgers are typically described. i dont even have anything against badgers, i really like them, but im just. not that.

You’re not a Badger. You like some of the values, but your life is not built out of communities, and you seem to like it that way.

i have also almost never forgiven anyone in my life. the few times i have ended up being mistakes, so never again.

There was another Bird primary post that made the important distinction that there’s forgiving someone... and then there’s letting them back in to do the same thing again.

on the snake side, i feel like i might have used to rank people according to how important they are to me, but i think that was more of a learned thing than anything else. i really admire snakes, and i want to be one, but i feel more like im just . not being genuine when i think of myself as one, even though thats what i get each time i take the official shc test (which i have recently taken the 2.0 one) and what ive considered myself to be for years now. its stopped fully fitting (unless im somehow gaslighting myself here) and i really dont know what to do about that.

You also weren’t in a very healthy place recently, and it’s a lot harder to get a read on yourself when you’re not doing okay. (Not impossible, just... harder.)

like, ill live, its really not that big of a deal, but i still have emotions and its still difficult. i dont like being wrong.

That’s also sounding pretty Bird to me. Both “I don’t like being wrong” and the “my emotions are difficult.” If you were a Lion, those emotions would be your compass, but Birds don’t work that way.

on the how i do things side - i tend to react very aggressively when what/who i care about gets fucked over, and see no problem with being vicious or lying, acting, whatever i need to do to get my point across. i dont view it as bad. whatever works, works yknow?

Okay, so you’re probably a Snake or a Bird secondary (which you knew.) And I do see where that Snake primary false positive is coming from. You have some Snake values in your system for sure, but you don’t sound like a Snake when you talk.

i do like planning at least an outline before things, but im also perfectly content throwing it out the window. though i do enjoy collecting little bits of info i can use later! and learning! and using what i learn! but its very much a “oooohhh this is fun!!!” type thing.

So that’s at least a fun Bird model (and it seems like every single neurodivergent person has a Bird model, so that’s not all that surprising.)

i am not a hard worker. at all. i HATE doing things the badger sec way. it sucks and i hate it and i just want to get things done with immediately right now.

Hmm. Now that sounds very In-the-Moment, doesn’t it? I’m starting to lean Snake.

one thing i very clearly remember from childhood is that once, in middle school, i hung out with a group of mostly boys and we were like. the loner weirdo kids. and one guy smacked me across the face for whatever reason and i immediately went “if you do that again, i will kick you directly in the crotch,” and then he went “i like you!” and we were. ig friends? from then on. Guys.. idk

Guys are known to socialize like that sometimes.

i didnt really have that much of an opinion on him that i can remember. i thought i was a bird for a while because of the aforementioned “oh learning fun!” thing and my reliance on at least a light plan, but then i thought about what i do under pressure. and i realized that i go fully improv, and that i feel better doing that than planning.

Yeah, I bet it does.

because planning also sucks and i dont really like it. ive tried using planners before and its…. so hard to keep up with….. now, my mom is a lion sec and i dont understand her AT ALL. like yeah, i can imitate her and also push through things directly, but my god is it uncomfy. id prefer to poke around and get a handle on things first, so i can have more of a finesse to what i do.

Oh this is such classic Snake secondary stuff. Right down to the way that Snake Secondaries do not get Lions, and vice-versa. Also, I dunno, from all the examples given, I would not describe you as “not good at interacting with others.”

i tend to favor seduction and assassination or rogue-ish routes in games, if that helps any.

It does. (Snake.)

sometimes my mom will be set on doing things a certain way and will be metaphorically banging her head on a wall,

like a Lion

and ill be in the corner desperately just like “mom please let me do this please let me hand you a different way to do this oh my god you are killing me here that isnt going to work”

Yeah, that seems like a pretty clear communication disconnect.

#submission #sortme #wisteria sorts #bird snake #bird primary #snake secondary #bird secondary model #sortinghatchats #shc

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theshrimpgod · 1 year

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greetings i hear you want to ramble abt ocs? :3c whos uhhh the current blorbo? (bc honestly im not sure if youve bee nworking o nspecific characters/worlds rn ;w;)

augh this is.a hard question lol

I would say

probably like Perry or AnattaDhukkaAnicca at the moment? tbh the Current Burnout is makin it harder to like. think about my characters atm (like it's more like I'm thinking about thinking about my characters) but those two are The Guys rn I think

OH and bubblestep. I wanna write some more of bubblesteps trauma but my creative writing teacher told me I couldn't so now I gotta think of a new (non-cat) idea tho lol.maybe I could write out Merrin's death? if I could think of a way to explain how that works to people who haven't read homestuck?

no idea if any of that made any sense at all I am very tired lol

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daedalusdavinci · 1 year

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honestly im just gonna give u a list. anyways. bruce, harvey, eddie (easy mode), oliver queen (whore), equius, sollux, eridan (legally mantaded homestucks), tim drake because im here to cause u psyhic damage, damien (bby), and lets round it off with scarecrow cause why not. pick n choose the ones u want to do anyways -blasts u with my autism beams-

[I.D.: A man in bed, lifting his head off of the pillow with a confused, bleary look, squinting into the light being shined at him. /End I.D.]

jesus ok. this is obviously going to get really long so im sticking it all under a cut now

send me a character and i will tell you my...

Bruce

First impression

my first impression of bruce fucking wayne was actually probably when i was like four years old or something and watching btas so my batman, the batman that has always existed in my head, has been a man who genuinely cares about the people around him and believes everyone can get better. which is to say i probably got the best intro to batman you can get

Impression now

btas is still one of my favorite versions of batman there is but i also know now that there are many versions of batman depending on whos writing him and by god do some of those versions suck! but there are also nonbtas versions that are so great! like robin jason era batman. the most man of all time. or rob bat, or lego batman, or-

Favorite moment

btas bruce makes me fall to my knees and cry every goddamn time. his relationship w harley?? w harvey?? w freeze?? the way even joker trusts him to always be a good man and keep people safe, even when its him. every time bruce desperately reaches out to someone who is trying to hurt him, because he wants so badly to help them get better, know that i am sobbing.

Idea for a story

i dont really have bruce centric ideas because tbhhhh bruce has been so many different things over the years i just mold him to fit my needs for other stories. like i want to write bruharv fics or fics w eddie but harvey and eddie are what set the scene, not bruce, bc they have more firmly set personalities than him. late 80s bruce vs late 90s bruce are two completely different people, and btas bruce and rob bat bruce are like complete opposites to me in the way they wear the cowl. so yeah. the only time i might center something around bruce is if im writing a superbat story, bc i think clark is just as fluid at this point, but i dont really have as much interest in writing a superbat story!

Unpopular opinion

any opinion about batman is already tired, thats just the nature of batman. its too pervasive. someones already said anything i could say. but hey, people are ableist, so im sure this will be an unpopular one! bruce should have mobility aids. bane broke his back. you do not ever 100% come back from that. period, end of story, not arguing.

Favorite relationship

its gotta be bruharv. its gotta be. look obviously im a btas fan to my very bones and btas bruharv never stops breaking my goddamn heart. late 80s is just the same. i think ive said and written enough about them on this blog that no one needs to hear me say it again.

Favorite headcanon

bruce is autistic. you agree.

Harvey

First impression

first intro to harvey was during jasons robin era, so like, annual 14, #410 or whatever, you know what im talking about. hes just camp enough and he also gets frankly the most sympathy from the writers we really see him get outside of btas, imo. i was instantly sucked into the idea of this man who fought his way into the system because he wanted to change it, who believed in the law, but gradually became more and more disillusioned with it as he saw proof that a corrupt system would always be corrupt. morality, balance, and justice is the foundation harveys built his life on as an answer to the abuse he faced, and the way that all shatters for him is just. augh. add that to his beautifully complicated and desperate relationship with bruce and i just fell in love with him instantly

Impression now

hes like my favorite character outside of jason im fucking obsessed with him. i think im a little delusional about it but dc is so goddamn ableist with him i feel like i have to take some liberties, and he can be so INTERESTING if you just give him the room to be. also btas harvey is hot. im not taking any questions at this time.

Favorite moment

btas bruharv breaks! my! heart! that scene where bruce is desperately researching did and promises to a harvey that cant hear him that he will save him, somehow? i think about it every day. but also harvey had a lot of really good moments in tfz. i love to see a man in despair.

Idea for a story

ive had this idea in the back of my head since before i even started working on the jdau where harvey and 2f are trying to become better, sort of, or at least commit crimes in a way that they can feel better about. turning their attention back to mob bosses ala dark victory eventually drives them to team up with jason, who is post utrh and no contact with bruce and the batfamily, who harvey has no idea is even the same punk robin that once insulted his car. jason finds a father figure in harvey while harvey finds a new path to redemption (or antihero bullshit) through jason, and they both help each other sort out their messy ties to bruce. i dont know if ill ever get around to writing it- definitely not until ive gotten the jdau more or less out of my system- but i think about it sometimes.

Unpopular opinion

all of you fuckers need to go look up shit about did rn forreal im not joking. if you think 2f is an evil alter you are buying wholesale into the ableist shit dc is feeding you and its a problem. if you are going to write harvey and 2f, you need to accept that they both kill, that they both do crimes, that 2f is not the sole thing holding harvey back from “going good” again. find a different way to differentiate them. i see this in every goddamn corner of the fandom and it floors me how many of you are comfortable with perpetuating dcs ableism so long as its a “bad” disability like did.

Favorite relationship

its obviously bruharvey. (waves at my. entire blog really.) but i also really enjoy harvey and jason teamups, if that wasnt obvious. tfz changed my brain chemistry but i was like this even before that. i think they could find a lot of common ground in each other if i just ignore the part where 2f killed jasons dad lol

Favorite headcanon

i was just ranting about this the other day but i think the difference between harvey and 2f is that harvey tries very hard to repress things as the apparently normal part and wants very badly to believe in the legal system and that he could be a good person (pre acid, we see him kind of give up on that after the acid) whereas 2f embraces his anger and passion and has significantly less hope in the system and feels that he is inherently a bad person due to extremely low self esteem, because, yknow, hes the emotional part, hes the trauma holder. theyre both angry, they both commit crimes, harvey just has issues around letting himself experience negative emotions. this is pretty much the foundation for everything else i write because its how i work around the evil alter bullshit. they are both complicated (even more so than i can put concisely like this), it cannot just be 2f is bad and the source of all evil.

Edward

First impression

the first comic i ever read w eddie having any sort of significant part was hush and the joy of seeing that mystery come together and having eddie be the mastermind behind it all, as a huge mystery fan, was like nothing else. eddie was clever, irritating, and smug as all hell, with the goofiest goddamn schtick, and i just fell in love with him. the more i got to know him after that the more i loved him.

Impression now

eddie is one of the most camp rogues in the whole gallery. hes pathetic, whiny, attention-seeking, and hes also clever, annoying, and smug. i like that hes so often harmless but also has these little moments where he really does get batman on the ropes with just his brain. hes a little mastermind and i love that. hes a little creacher. hes hilarious. he has so much potential. he drives me crazy. im listening to batman unburied rn and hes so obnoxious i want to chew off my own leg. he remains one of my favorite batman characters of all time

Favorite moment

god theres this one origin story where hes reencounting his life and hes literally like rolling around on the floor whining about how lonely he is and how much he craves attention and its like. peak fucking eddie. hes so fucking annoying i love him i want to bully him

Idea for a story

ive already said im a mystery fan. when i was a kid, i read every single detective novel i could get my hands on, and its such a wonderful moment for me when batman can scratch that little itch in my brain. ive been rereading some of those old books lately and i really want to write a rddlebat fic in that style where bruce is a detective (but in a busybody way, and not in a police way), and riddler is the moriarty to his sherlock that keeps him running in circles. i can see the setting so clearly in my mind. ive just never written a mystery before and im struggling to think of one compelling and in character enough to drive the plot.

Unpopular opinion

i have learned that riddler fans deeply, deeply hate hush. the vitriol people have is incredible. its still one of my favorite riddler comics of all time, though, and i wonder if its because its written like a mystery instead of an action adventure. it leaves you with all of the clues, it builds, and in the end, the whole thing unfolds beautifully. its one of the best comics in terms of ones that show off what eddie can do and the extent of his intellect. its one of like four comics ive ever bought because i just adore it and apparently that is a VERY unpopular opinion lmfao

Favorite relationship

obviously rddlebat. obviously. i like them best when they have a sherlock and moriarty dynamic and are constantly challenging each other, pissing each other off, kiiind of flirting. theyre peak homoerotic rivalry to me. i dont like, mind stuff where theyre all cutesy and whatever, but its never been how ive seen them because im a homestuck and i know kismessitude is the way

Favorite headcanon

liam wrote a fic where eddie uses that cane because he actually needs it and he was so fucking right for that. i am 100% integrating that into my belief system

Oliver

First impression

sdkflsdjnfsdsdflsdf i HATE to admit this. but my first impression of oliver was in that comic where jason kidnaps mia and bruce snaps at ollie for his treatment of roy, and my second impression of him was rhato. so. needless to say, my first impression of ollie was Not Good. i thought he was just. the worst fucking dad ever, and a total piece of shit

Impression now

hes a communist king and he can GET IT. i have read way more green arrow comics since my first impression of him and i love him dearly. oliver fucks up again and again but he actually tries to do better. he learns and he grows and maybe he hasnt always been the best dad but hes doing pretty damn good now. he cares about and invests in his community on the local level and he puts his goddamn money where his mouth is every time. hes what a lot of people want bruce to be, tbh. i actually fucking adore oliver queen and i really want to read more green arrow comics

Favorite moment

green arrow/green lantern is such a fantastic goddamn run and i rotate it in my mind every day, specifically the part where they seem a skirmish between people and the police and hal immediately jumps in to help the police, but oliver stops him and starts breaking down the issues with that. like. fuck. do you know how fucking refreshing it is to see that in a comic. also when roy and oliver shoot cat man and then accuse the other one of missing i think about that all the time

Idea for a story

one day i am going to go as batshit about green lantern as i do about batman right now. that day hasnt come yet. but it will. and then there will be ideas.

Unpopular opinion

iii already said it tbh lmfao. green arrow is what people want batman to be. the family dynamics are way better and ollie invests in his community and tries to get better the way people want to believe bruce does (and lets be honest, how often does dc actually let bruce be the batman we know he can be and has been on occasion?)

Favorite relationship

ill be the first to admit im really fucking biased after reading ga/gl but ollie/hal/dinah. because yeah. what was all that.

Favorite headcanon

i think about grandpa ollie all the time. aaaaall the time. i think about him investing all the time in lian he never did in roy and i think about the apology written into it that he probably does say outloud, because hes not goddamn batman and he tries.

Tim (i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you)

First impression

the first tim comics i ever read were. the first tim comics ever. he was in full hero worship mode and his hair looked dumb as hell and he was a cute kid. his audacity was fucking stunning, but i was willing to forgive him for it

Impression now

wheres that fucking tumblr post thats like peoples reactions to shows before and after a plottwist where someones like “why does everybody hate this guy” and then “I Know Now.” thats how i feel about tim. the audacity did not ever stop. he carries it with him forever. he is sexist as fuck and the way he treats stephanie makes my blood boil, and he is one of the number one offenders in terms of rewriting the narrative around jason. a lot of this is the fault of the writers and not him (PARTICULARLY THE WAY BRUCE TREATS HIM COMPARED TO OTHERS AND THE SHIT HE GETS AWAY WITH), but the whole thing leaves such a bad taste in my mouth i just cant stomach tim anymore. add that to how goddamn annoying tim fans are and how confidently they mischaracterize tim and every other fucking character? i can easily say tim is my least favorite member of the batfam.

Favorite moment

i think about this dumbass panel every goddamn day.

[I.D.: A comic panel of Tim Drake where he is standing outside, partially shaded by a tree. He is wearing an oversized red sweater that says “zoo of wires” in all caps and yellow pants. He’s squinting strangely and there’s a scuff mark on his cheek. His hair is the older style of Tim hair that stands completely on end and makes him look like a clown. Overall, it’s a pretty awful picture of Tim. /End I.D.]

but genuinely any moment between tim and kon or the rest of the young justice team, i think, are his best moments.

Idea for a story

any time i feel like tim could have room in a story im writing i am simply going to replace him with duke <3

Unpopular opinion

everything ive said so far has been an unpopular opinion and im not convinced i wont be drawn and quartered for posting this. but frankly if you made it this far into this post im kind of assuming youre a friend of mine who already knows i dont like tim bc this is really long. anyway heres another one <3 tims parents were never abusive you guys just dont want to admit tim is only interesting if you give him jason or stephs backstory

Favorite relationship

its gotta be tim and kon. gotta be. they are cute. i get it. the way tim just lights up in his robin run (or was it red robin?) when kon comes to visit is. yeah.

Favorite headcanon

i love it when tim quits being robin or is never robin at all. i am a hater.

Damian

First impression

i think the first damian comic i ever read was bftc and batman and robin 2009 and the MOMENT i saw his little face. his little cheeks. oh my god. hes SO. BABY. and hes a slightly MURDEROUS baby??? even better. i saw damian and i knew he was gonna be one of my faves he was just too precious, too perfect

Impression now

hes the babiest boy of all time and i love him more than i can even put into words. i adore him. i need to read more of his comics but i have read Enough to know that i love him. i want to pick him up and swing him around like a cat. bolito de odio mi queridooooo <3333

Favorite moment

i hold the fact that he named the cat alfred very close to my heart. also when he whooped tim and jasons asses but dick stopped him and validated him before he could (crying)

Idea for a story

eventually i wanna write more stuff w him in the jdau but i dont have it all set in stone just yet

Unpopular opinion

everyone hates aro hcs but youll pry aro dami out of my cold dead hands

Favorite relationship

dick and dami (PLATONIC. OBVIOUSLY!!) is such a basic answer but it is my true answer. im not joking when i say it literally makes me cry. i just!!!! have a LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT IT. im not going to get into it all but augh. jon and dami is probably second tho their friendship is so fun and ill never forgive dc for what they did to it. also prefer them platonic

Favorite headcanon

i cant even call damian being autistic a headcanon. its just real.

Jon

First impression

jesus christ. sdlkfjnsdfsf scarecrow is a cool tool to make things happen in comics he makes for a very good villain but i have never been very impressed by his actual personality i find him very very very creepy and i do not trust him around children i think hes a little freak

Impression now

exactly the same. i dont get how big into him some people get and moth i think you are fully delusional

Favorite moment

this is the one exception alright. as the crow flies is my favorite scarecrow comic of all time its really intriguing and he is very creacher. the power dynamic is really such that you have to pity jon, he loses so much control over the situation and he doesnt even understand whats happened to him, and the one person he confides in betrays him. the scarebeast itself is, i think, one of the best batman monsters if not The best batman monster the design is so goddamn cool and jons design, too, is just absolutely great in this comic. its such a goddamn good comic i love it

Idea for a story

lmao im never gonna write a story about this bitch

Unpopular opinion

i dont like him. thats my unpopular opinion. and i dont get “the dork squad”

Favorite relationship

again, the dynamics in as the crow flies were really interesting. otherwise idgas

Favorite headcanon

if i ever wasted the brainspace to think about scarecrow hcs they would be exclusively in reference to scarebeast. but i dont.

aughughugh homestuck time

Equius

First impression

haha gross! this guy is fucking weird

Impression now

funniest fucker there is. nothing about equius isnt hilarious. i love him. hes the definition of beta cuck and thats hysterical. hes weird and gross and kind of creepy and also slightly charming in a bizarre way and i love him

Favorite moment

i dont know now its been a while since i went through his pesterlogs but he does have some prettyf ucking funny lines. in general tho nothing can top arquius. hilarious

Idea for a story

ill probably write another h@lquius fic one day. hold me accountable was some of the most fun ive ever had writing a fic

Unpopular opinion

that i like him at all tbh lmao

Favorite relationship

OBVIOUSLY its equius and hal. obviously. they bounce off of each other in the worst possible ways theyre so gross and funny. arquius is one of the funniest things to ever come out of homestuck. dirk and equius is probably right after that.

Favorite headcanon

i like my space au a lot idk

Sollux

First impression

i thought sollux was the best goddamn thing since vriska. he was snarky in a way that vibed just right with me, his humor cutting and self deprecating and just perfect. i loved his relationship w aradia, i thought they were so sweet, and he also just reminded me a lot of dave who was my favorite character period. he and karkat were also really funny. i think i also just related to him a lot, at the time

Impression now

sollux is a lot of fun as a character because hes so dry and flippant about everything. hes a genuine true neutral character who most of the time cant find it in himself to give a shit about anything, and you have to admire that. hes laid back, except for when hes not, and his interpersonal relationships are generally snarky and ribbing with an undercurrent of very genuine care and affection. he was one of my favorite trolls for a very long time and i love him a lot.

Favorite moment

when hes just lost his lisp and is kind of obsessing over it is a pretty good one. but his conversations with karkat in the very beginning are also pretty good. everythign between him and aradia too. idk, its been a while.

Idea for a story

some day im probably gonna end up writing an ersol story, but from time to time i also think about writing that pale davsol fic for the guardians au ive had in the back of my mind forever

Unpopular opinion

feferi did not treat sollux especially well and did not respect his boundaries at all. their relationship sucked

Favorite relationship

rn its probably post sprite eridan and sollux, but ive always had a soft spot for some kind of friendship between dave and sollux, and sollux and aradia is a classic for a reason

Favorite headcanon

bigender sollux ftw. see also: sex neutral asexual sollux

Eridan

First impression

he is so whiny and obnoxious but also so brilliantly crafted and he has so much depth to him for a character that stops mattering like ten pages in time to latch onto him and never be normal about it again

Impression now

and then i wasnt! i dont think much has changed about my opinion on eridan at all actually

Favorite moment

his conversations with karkat oh my goddd theyre such gossips. also im sorry but youve gotta love his stupid little anxious talksprite hes such a prick. AUGH. AND THE DRESSES IN PESTERQUEST HANG ON

Idea for a story

see the above ersol musings but also and more importantly im going to write another erdave story. i dont know what its gonna be about but im sure in a few months eri will break down my door and say something to me about them and within a week ill have churned out another goddamn fic

Unpopular opinion

this has always been an unpopular opinion but if you think eridan deserved better but you think vriska is an irredeemable piece of shit you are in fact sexist <3

Favorite relationship

its very obviously eridan and dave. obviously. ive been writing this shit out for so long im tired now and im nto going to get into all of it but just know that i know everything about them and i know exactly why they work and im right about it. but i also believe very strongly in eridan and karkat and their whole relationship with karkat being like. honestly the only person who continued to believe in eridan and cared about him when he was really going off the deep end and their friendship actually being very genuine and sweet and the like potential there. but ALSO. vriska and eridan is one of the best friendships in the messiest way they were actually like the best and strongest kismessitude in homestuck and ill never let anyone forget it i LOVE them i love them being exes that know too much about each other and use it for evil even tho theyve stayed friends after all this time

Favorite headcanon

eridan being genderfluid is BASICALLY canon so i wont even call that a headcanon bc its just true. i feel very strongly about eridan having a very unhealthy relationship to sex and relationships where he ties his worth to them regardless of whether or not he actually wants them. he IS ace and he is DEEPLY repressed about it, thanks

#ashysiashy #moth i think this took me hours #anyway. just so everyone knows. vriska was my favorite troll in homestuck when i first read it and ill tolerate slander against her never #karkat is my current favorite

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