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deadsetobsessions · 3 months

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“I ate paint once,” Danny nonchalantly threw out in the middle of game night.

The entire table stopped. Heads whipped towards Danny.

“Yeah, me too. Cardamom yellow was my favorite. Ugly as hell but the chemicals just tasted right.” Tim replied, using the distraction to nab some of Bruce’s money. Monopoly money, that is. Everyone’s heads snapped towards Tim, only Cass and Danny (who was part of the scheme) caught him cheating.

“Really? I think mine was those spray can blue cosmos paint. But that might have been more my thing for space than the actual taste.”

“WHY WERE YOU EATING PAINT?!” Dick asked, looking like he wanted to lunge over the table and shake Danny until he puked out paint. Bruce looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

“Yeah, what the fuck, Tim?” Jason snickered.

“In my defense,” Danny grinned. “I was left unsupervised. Also, Steph, you owe me $24 in rent.”

“Ugh! I’m almost out of money! Can’t you loan me some, Alfred?”

“I am sorry, Miss Stephanie, you are not qualified for another loan. In fact, one of your properties is about to be confiscated as per the collateral agreement.”

“Noooo!” Stephanie made dramatic dying noises.

“What was your excuse, Timothy?” Damian asked, eyes glued to the board and determined to win the game.

“Hey, I was probably less supervised than Danny was.”

“Yeah,” Danny perked up. “My parents brought us down to their lab all of the time. Taught us a lot of stuff.”

“Really? Like what?” Duke asked, casually slapping away Tim’s sneaky hands.

“Oh, like what a rocket launcher sounded like up close! And how to build a laser gun! Oh! And what human organs looked like when they’re fresh!” Danny chirped, collecting his money from a stunned Stephanie’s hands. He looked up.

“Oh, don’t worry! I at least learned what not to do when it comes to lab safety. And we wore hazmat suits to protect ourselves from the radiation.” Danny smiled in a ditzy fashion as the table fell silent in a horrified manner. Cass tapped his arm amusedly, but allowed his bullshit to stand. After all, it’s not like he lied.

“Radiation?” Duck’s voice raised a couple of octaves. Oh yeah, Danny’s going to laugh about that pitch for a long while.

“Organs?!” Jason’s hands closed around the plastic house he was holding rather forcefully.

“Do you even know what basic lab safety practices are, Danny?” Damian demanded, finally looking up with brows furrowed. He rolled the dice and grabbed a mystery card. He gets $100 from Alfred.

“How old were you??” Duke asked.

“Like… 8, when they first brought me in?”

“Eight.” Bruce rumbled, slipping into a more Batman like persona. When Danny sent him a confused look, Bruce straightened back into his Bruce persona. “Wow, they must have trusted you a lot!”

“Sure?”

“What were their names again?” Stephanie asked sweetly, Cass nodding at him.

“Jack and Maddie Fenton.” Not that they’ll find them here, considering his parents are dead and in another universe.

“Cool, cool, cool!” Stephanie blinked, beaming as her hands formed lethal fists underneath the table.

Danny blinked and tilted his head in an unassuming way, pretending like he had no idea what Stephanie was thinking of. He sneakily handed over $600 to Cass in order to complete his monopoly on his side of the board.

Danny stood up and spread his hands out, one hand clutching his new found victory.

"Well, lady and gents, you've all been floundering against the inevitable tide of capitalism. I am here, as a reminder that you can never win against the hopelessness that will be your financial ruin! I, Danny Fenton, have obtained a quarter of the board and therefore have won against even your best efforts!" He cackled, holding up his fan of properties triumphantly. He shot a mischievous grin at Cass, who held up a solemn thumbs up in support for his monetary takeover.

"... Danny, are you... planning on a career in villainy?" Bruce asked, after a brief and total wave of shocked silence. Damian looked like he was having a conniption at having been bested, unknowingly. Yeah, Danny was disarming like that.

"Yeah, that was concerning." Tim piped up, nabbing a ten from a shell-shocked Damian.

"Hey! The Riddler gives surprisingly good monologues! And he's really loud, so it's hard not to pick up on things. Duke, your turn." Danny sat back down, pouting. The villainy comment was a little too close to his fears.

"Damn it." Duke, who had rolled, landed smack middle of Danny's territory. He handed over a sheaf of bills to a grinning Danny.

"Wait a minute! You have cheated!" Damian bolted upwards from his seat, finally done running through the purchases he remembered Danny making. "You acquired that property not within the games' rules!"

"Okay, first of all, the rule book is a suggestion, like lab safety rules," Danny saw the others open their mouths to protest, but he quickly shut it down. "Second, there's totally no rules about selling and buying places from a private owner so suck on it. And thirdly? Cass sold it to me, so you all can take it up with her."

"Diabolical!" Damian muttered indignantly.

"... Dammit." Dick sighed, falling back into the chair and balancing on its two legs. He couldn't say anything, considering his current of bankruptcy.

"Danny. Danny, I'll buy a property from you." Jason said, eyeing one of Danny's other properties near his own cluster.

"What do you have that would interest me?" Danny asked, falling back into his Vlad-like imitation.

"Ew, don't do that," Steph reached over to jab him in the arm.

"Yeah, Jason, what do you have?" Duke said, the lovely subtle instigator that he is.

"Red Hood's signature."

The others blue-screen, gaping at the actual audacity Jason had to offer up something that would take him no effort. Danny, prepared with a poker face that came with lying straight to Jazz's ever perceptive eyes about whether he nabbed the last of her ice cream or not, was prepared.

"Red Hood? The condom guy working out of the... um. Upper East Side?" Danny asked, pretending to hesitate. He knows where Jason operated. That doesn't mean he couldn't simply pretend otherwise. For science, of course.

...

The table howled with laughter, Jason's indignant spluttering unable to say anything against Danny's wide eyed look of innocence. Cass leaned against the table, chuckles falling out of her mouth and eyes crinkled in mirth. Dick had fallen out of his chair, helplessly wheezing on the floor. Duke is hiding his face in his hands, mirroring Bruce's pose as they both shake from silent laughter. Damian is smirking, wicked and sharp as he smugly stared at Jason. Stephanie and Tim are leaning against each other, repeating "the CONDOM GUY" in alternating and increasingly louder voices. Alfred had a smile on his face and a tight grip on the bills in front of him that betrayed his amusement.

"He's a crime lord!" Jason exclaimed, indignant.

"Uh, okay. Well, I mean, why would I want a crime lord's signature? I don't want to be on his radar. Or echolocation or whatever. He's... a Bat, right? That's what you guys call that group, yeah?"

"How do you know the Rogues better than the vigilantes?!" Jason glared at his unhelpful family. Those assholes better prepare for a load of rubber bullets the next time they're on patrol near Crime Alley.

"Hey, it's not my fault the vigilantes here are unsociable. Maybe if they monologued more, I'd know who they are."

"Wouldn't- wouldn't that make them more villain like?" Tim asked, stuttering from his laughter.

"I dunno?" Danny replied, enjoying his the family's unabashed joy. "I mean, they're pretty legit and they help people already so I guess they don't need to be sociable... but still I swear I haven't heard anything about Batman other than that he grunts and is mean towards criminals."

Is mean towards criminals, Duke mouthed at a recovering Dick who was in the process of heaving himself back up. It sent him careening back down to the floor with restrained giggles. Cass tapped Danny, reminding him to eat some food.

"Tt. Of course not. They're efficient at their jobs and have no need to be seen as welcoming to criminals." Damian puffed up.

"Yeah, but they've gotta feel safe, right?" Danny shrugged as he plucked a cookie from the cookie platter. "The... one with the sword, what was it?"

"Robin." Damian supplied, eyes narrowed and trained on him.

"Yeah, the baby bird. The kids think his swords are cool so they trust him. But like, the others? The flippy blue one? Not so much."

"Wait," Dick said from the floor. "They don't trust Nightwing?"

"Nah, they trust him to protect them, but he has a history of bringing the kids to the police, you know?"

"What's wrong with that?"

Danny shrugged. "ACAB. But also because everybody knows that half the guys in the GCPD and CPS are child traffickers."

"Wait, what?" Jason and Tim straightened.

Bruce piped in, the emotional whiplash of amusement to concern to amusement to concern visibly making itself known on the man's baffled face. "I thought Batman and Commissioner Gordon took care of that?"

"Sure, the obvious ones." Danny hesitated. Well, he's pretty sure they think he's a meta so... "There's... a meta trafficking ring that they're a part of. That's. That's kind of what I was running from."

Danny looked up pleadingly. Cass placed a hand on his arm in comfort, not knowing that he was fibbing about running from them.

Danny was on the streets helping his own Alley metas to run from them.

Danny is as feral as she was, and that meant he could hide just as much as she could read off of him. Cass was the best and he felt kind of bad about lying to her, successfully or not.

"Uh. Some people said you know Batman, Bruce. I know- uh, that might not be the case but if you do, could you ask him to look into it?" Danny made his eyes tear up. "And maybe he wouldn't care about me much, I mean, I know he doesn't really like metas but if he helps out, I could totally like, leave the city once the kids are safe, promise."

Ooh, Danny put a little too much sincerity into that. He could practically hear the hearts breaking in the game room as everyone glared at Bruce.

"You won't have to leave."

"... Promise?" And Danny's voice was a little too desperate, too hopeful, because Bruce's eyes tugged down in sadness.

"Promise." He rumbled, all Bruce Wayne and all Batman. Danny's core warmed. Danny also saw the rest of the family's faces darken in pure agreement. And partial wrath.

"Yeah! We'll kick Batman's ass if he even thought about kicking you out!" Stephanie proclaimed.

"He's far more proficient in combat than you are, Brown." Damian immediately leapt to Batman's defense and that was that.

Well, later, as Danny was "sleeping" and Phantom was hovering in the cave, invisible and intangible, he got confirmation that his Alley meta kids were going to be safe, soon.

After all, the entire Batclan was suiting up and baying for blood, with Oracle's all encompassing presence behind them, fingers reaching for their enemies' weak points.

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brucewaynehater101 · 2 months

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Tim Joins the Batfamily Late: Vigilante Style AU

His parents send him to a boarding school abroad (or at least out of Gotham). From there, he encounters Lady Shiva and other trainers. Tim obviously can't keep his nose out of other people's business and becomes a vigilante for that city. He may also collect evidence and blackmail the JL from abroad to provide Batman with better mental health care. Tim can't leave to assist Batman in person (boarding school and parents suck ig) so he does what he can. He stops blackmailing them and cuts contact once he sees Batman has improved.

He sometimes partners with the YJ crew, but Tim's a little more morally grey (Batman's not hovering over his decisions and yelling at him about murder and stuff. Also, his mentors aren't always on the hero side). He tries to keep himself off of the JL radar and is an unofficial member of the group (despite paying for a lot of their necessities).

When he's around the same era as Red Robin, he goes up to the JL and is like "yo, Batman's alive and stuck in the timestream."

The JL have heard of this vigilante, but they've never worked with him before. The YJ crew, besides Cassie, is dead, so they can't really vouch for him. Cassie is also doing the cult thing, horrified by Tim's mad scientist basement antics, and emotionally repressed from the grief of losing two of her friends.

Tim, realizing that Dick probably has a lot on his plate, doesn't try to convince him of Bruce's continued state of breathing. Besides, why would Dick trust a stranger?

Instead, Tim tries Red Hood and the Outlaws. They don't really believe him, but they are willing to lend a hand here and there.

When he's traveling to find evidence, he comes across Black Bat. Out of everyone he's tried, she does believe him. Cass joins him on his search when she can. It causes Jason to make jokes about taking turns babysitting the youngest vigilante.

#dc comics #dc universe #tim drake #batman #tim joins the batfamily late #dc au #batfam au #the parallels of this universe Tim not being trusted because he's a stranger when canon Tim wasn't trusted despite JL watching Tim grow up

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hijinxinprogress · 2 months

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Everyone in YJ is multilingual (mostly bc they’re nosy)

Everyone on YJ speaks at least 14 languages which is a skill they all use to fuck with the jl and their villains like oh??? We’re having secret conversations??? I would like to be included and everyone’s like wtf why do you speak this fucking random dialect of Russian?? This is Arizona??

They all speak binary for some fucking reason (they’re nerds) Also Kon tells people binary is Tim’s native language which starts a debate on whether it counts as Kons native language)

Diana is swearing in ancient greek under her breathe and Anita laughs before responding in ancient greek so Diana’s time monitoring yj is spent trying to make sure the public knows she did not teach those little miscreants to swear in her native language however she did teach them some technically lethal combat moves which is not better but she thinks it is

Anytime aliens come to metropolis or anywhere else on earth, occasionally Kon shows up and starts speaking to them in their native language so Clark’s like 🤨 …did Cadmus teach you that?? I don’t even know that language and kons so offended bc no?? Bart crashed our fucking spaceship and we were stranded in space for like 8 months…you didn’t notice??? I know their language bc we fucking hitchhiked back to earth (yj also pissed off multiple entire planets of people but 🤷🏾‍♀️) and Batman’s so pissed when Clark complains to him about this bc Tim told him they were doing undercover recon in Eritrea

the jl is trying to translate a threat from the league of assassins while batman is off planet but cissie showed up bc damian was insulting the jl in the leagues dialect and being purposefully unhelpful (he sabotaged the leagues plan like three hours ago and he enjoys making adults feel stupid esp if they’ve tried to baby him) so everyone else is confused when cissie laughs at damians remarks and casually corrects green arrows translation (she also invites damian to blow stuff up with yj which is immediately rejected but he changes his mind when olivers lets them know he can hear them and tries to lecture them)

clark is talking to Diana in kryptonian and he hears a collective gasp of offense from yj and he’s like ?? (Tim followed all the supers around for like a month to teach himself kryptonian and then taught Kon and the rest of yj)

J’onn walked in on Greta and Cassie discussing how to ditch their green lantern in the watchtower break room and snitched immediately bc they finished his secret stash of cookies but he also has inside jokes in martian with them (despite this yj does not listen to him in any capacity)

They all know Interlac (Bart kept cussing in interlac and decided it would be great if yj also did this) but really the rest of the jl is under the impression it’s some fucking code yj made except the speedsters are like Bart ☹️ no spoilers you promised!! and he’s like it’s not even a real language 🤨 didn’t you hear?? Rob made this fucked up cipher and I hate it 😞 it took me like six minutes to learn (they have to let it go when Bart goes oh so you don’t think tims smart enough to create a language on his own?? within earshot of the bats)

Or Anita starts muttering in patois while they’re being lectured by the jl and bart laughs and she’s like 🤨 someone cooked here and I don’t know if I like that

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fishfission-dc · 1 year

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Batfamily Powerpoint Night! (Part 6: Stephanie)

<<Part 5: Cass | Part 7: Damian >>

[Masterlist]

Steph: Okay my turn! Bruce I think you’ll be impressed by research and persuasiveness.

Bruce (head in his hands): How do I already have a migraine from this

Steph: My words are just that powerful, B-man.

Tim: I like the typo, really gives the impression of “professional social media manager”

Duke: Steph you are so brave

Tim: I’ll be surprised if you make it out of this alive. But you’re so right

Babs: Yeah like I applaud you for saying what we’re all thinking but it will probably get you killed within the next five minutes

[disgruntled Bruce noises]

Jason: HA not the list of descriptors in the bio

Tim: For someone with “father” as 50% of their twitter bio you could tweet about your kids once maybe

Damian: It is very clear that you only post what is asked of you by your corporate underlings.

Dick: You met Kris Jenner???

Bruce: I don’t think this information is relevant to my duties

Tim: You don’t know who Pedro Pascal is?

Babs: You’re a celebrity, Bruce, I think it applies very heavily to at least one of your double lives

Dick: YOU MET KRIS JENNER?

Jason: Even I know this stuff and I actively try not to

Jason: I don’t know how much he’ll love you after this

[Bruce migraine noises]

Cass: (signing) He loves you :)

Tim: Another typo...

Duke: Steph how much time was it

Steph: Nope. We’re moving on

Babs: You made a Go Fund Me to make a... “Spoiler Signal”...?

Steph: Yeah do you want to donate I can text you the link

Babs: I think I’m good

Dick: I hate that tweet

Jason: You did it to yourself dude

Damian: Did you receive that footage of Timothy’s fall?

Steph: Yeah I’ll airdrop it to you :)

Tim: Yeah maybe let’s get rid of the vigilante twitter accounts

Jason: I clearly was coerced into that statement

Bruce: Jason why don’t I have your phone number?

Jason: Stephanie

Tim: YOU TEXTED BERNARD?

Steph: He knows a lot about Gotham’s vigilantes

Tim: Where did you get his number? Why did he already know it was you??

Steph: Oh we talk all the time :) Anyway,

Bruce: I’m sure you all remember why I was in GCPD’s headquarters.

Tim: To be fair that was mostly Damian’s fault

Damian: Todd purposely provoked me, the blame is his.

Jason: Okay but why would you bring a grenade to a gala?

Dick: We’re all sorry for fighting at the party can we not rehash this right now guys

Jason: See I would follow this Bruce Wayne.

Tim: Except Steph you’re definitely not the favorite, especially after this

Duke: Why does “The Batman” only tweet in the third person

Steph: I think it fits the vibe

[noises of collective agreement, and Bruce’s pain]

Steph: So Bruc-

Bruce: No.

<<Part 5: Cass | Part 7: Damian >>

[Masterlist]

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the-daydreaming-show · 9 months

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𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧(?) 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐞 (but patience).

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: A small collection of stories like Batmom! Scarlet Witch as a mother for her children, unintentionally but not by accident, and how it started all with each one.

Being a member of the Wayne family comes with its quirks.

Being Bruce Wayne's wife has twice the quirks when you consider your husband's nocturnal activities, and it's this second category of quirks that usually concerns you the most.

Or at least that's what you thought would happen when you married him. But, even with being a retired vigilante yourself and already knowing everything that Bruce was Batman implied, it turned out that the other side of the coin was the one that began to bother you the most.

¿Your husband goes out every night dressed as a giant bat and comes back just before the sun rises?

No problem, you handled that like a champ.

¿The city press, who are desperate to know about the woman who finally put Gotham's prodigal son off the market and how the marriage goes every moment of every day?.

Yeah, you hadn't been ready for that.

Over time you got used to the drama and the questions, it helped that you could read their minds before they asked the question for your response planning. But there was one question that haunted you from the first official gala you and Bruce attended after the wedding (which was less than two weeks after the wedding, by the way): ¿When are you going to be pregnant? ¿When do you plan to have a child? ¿Can we soon expect ball gowns to become looser for a bulging belly with a Wayne heir?

And so, on and on, for infinity.

The answer had been maybe or someday, considering that they were both of you still young and in no rush.

In truth, tho, you two had never really considered the possibility of having children. Bruce didn't feel fit to be a father for many reasons. And the possibility of you passing your powers to a biological child was too high to risk. So it was never a card on the table to have children together when you got married, and you both were fine with that. There were talks about adopting as a possibility, but far in the future, like it was almost like a fantasy you two knew that would probably never happen anyway.

But then, things happened…

ACT ONE: a boys tale.

chapter one is Richard “Dick” Grayson

chapter two is Jason “Jay” Todd

chapter three....... (coming soon)

chapter four....... (coming soon)

chapter five....... (coming soon)

ACT TWO: is a girl's world.

chapter six....... (coming soon)

chapter seven....... (coming soon)

chapter eighth....... (coming soon)

TAGLIST: If someone wants to be added or removed from this list, you can request it. The TAG LIST is OPEN.

@some-lovely-day @simonsbluee @yuki-chan23 @miyakana @myst3batz @otchae @d3m0n8ch1ld @marsenbie @mynameisnotlaura @andieperrie18 @totallynotme420 @igotmessymind @amarawayne @calsjack @kodzukenmaaa @mellowdiy @noah-uhhh-what @blarba-girl @dead-sane-stuff @huhuhhuhh @kimmis-stuff @undecided-shipper @thedazzlingburglar @chxrry-blxssxm-tea @stilesxreid @blarba-girl @mellowdiy @noah-uhhh-what @dead-sane-stuff @huhuhhuhh @undecided-shipper @g0shikix3 @athenniene @cluelessteam @urminebutidontwantyou @pato-spoiler-27 @beanpd

#batfamily x reader #batmom #all for us #batmom!reader #jason todd x batmom #tim drake x batmom #dick grayson x batmom #damian wayne x batmom

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vinelark · 8 months

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Hi! Just curious, what are your favorite comic runs? I've finished the comics on my current to-read list so I love hearing what other people like!

hello! as always i’m sure i’m forgetting plenty of stuff but these are some of my favs, both completed and ongoing series.

completed:

batman: the knight (2022)

miniseries, 10 issues total, so it’s extremely readable and really satisfying in a short amount of time! i like zdarsky’s bruce a lot (i’ve also enjoyed his work on the current batman run) and carmine di giandomenico’s art is fantastic. also, it’s the ghost-maker origin story and bruce & khoa somehow get divorced at least twice before the story’s over. love that for them.

superman: american alien (2015)

anthology collection about clark kent through the years, a really great read for superman—digging into clark’s character rather than focusing on external plot!—with some great cameos too (like young adult clark getting mistaken for some rich guy named bruce wayne at a yacht party, or reporter clark running into pre-robin dick grayson).

future state (2021) batman: dark detective

i am not immune to dan mora’s bruce wayne, especially when he is skrunkly and beat up the whole time.

batman: urban legends (2021)

an anthology so you can kind of pick up/put down as you like! these are a good read if you don’t want to be tracking huge overarching plotlines for a bit. the first few issues have a great jason series too.

ongoing series aka my current pulls at the comic shop:

spirit world (2023)

this one is new and is SO fun and compelling; i love xanthe already, and the assorted cast (including constantine and cass!) and new side characters (bowen my beloved, i’d die for you if you weren’t already dead) are delightful. one of those comics where i’m genuinely interested in the plot too and not just reading for my favs. alyssa wong is doing some really cool things with this concept/cast and i hope they have a chance to do way more in this world.

batman/superman world’s finest (2022)

again, i am not immune to dan mora, or the delightful superbat of it all. (and robin!dick! i love him.) i also started reading waid’s teen titans spin-off that takes place in this same era and there are only a few issues out so far but i’m having a great time.

city boy (2023)

i am OBSESSED with this concept (sentient cities! sharp-edged/lonely character figuring out his connection to them!) and the writing is super fun so far. also the intro comic (free on kindle/elsewhere; also has a free spirit world issue) has a great nightwing run-in.

i’m also subscribed to nightwing, superboy: the man of tomorrow, action comics (anything with kon crumbs…), and dark knights of steel (listen…i am still holding out hope for more royal court spy!tim crumbs), and i don’t know much about shazam yet but i’m giving the new series a try too.

#hope there’s something here for your reading list!#asks #comics #batman #superman #spirit world #city boy

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unpretty · 4 months

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from Karen from HR chapter 10:

""I did have an eating disorder for a while, but she didn't even notice that. I read somewhere that most eating disorders are actually about control."

"Mm," Bruce agreed.""

from Gotham High chapter 3:

"""You should eat more real food, too," she added.

"That wasn't real food."

"You know what I mean, though," she said. He didn't respond. "I'm pretty sure you have a disorder." She said it vague and off-hand, as if she didn't actually care; she wasn't sure if she did. He was rich, and he was eating. No one got to that size without eating. He was still better off in every way than most of the people she knew. She could not rationally explain why his careful lists of calories and vitamins felt so wrong to look at, seemed so inhuman.""

the fucking. DETAILS. the stupidly wonderful way you weave character details throughout your stories make me scream. it's so good

also I wonder if he still has that eating disorder??? or at least, disordered eating habit. like, he STILL doesn't like most "junky" foods (I'm specifically thinking of Tim suggesting he try Doritos from Anti-Social chapter 7, and Selina suggesting coney dogs from Stolen moments)

but SOME foods that can be kinda gross he IS okay with and sometimes even seems to prefer (like bad Chinese and hot dogs from Third Wheel chapter 3. I would include gyros from the same chapter and Anti-Social (again) chapter 6 on this list but that shit's tasty. can you tell I've read this collection of fics too many times)

but that doesn't necessarily mean he DOESN'T still have that eating disorder. it could just mean he's gotten very good at gestimating nutritional information and keeping mental track of stuff like that

anyways. I also feel the need to mention his "my father liked to cook" mini-monologue from HR chapter 7, but I don't know how to weave it into here. it just feels important somehow. have a lovely day, I love your writing i'm far too obsessed with it

you missed a couple! >;3

backup:

"I'm not apologizing for the fact that I wanted real food," Nightwing said. He turned around in his seat to look back at Harley. "Have you seen his little protein shake things? "They're his robo-fuel!" "You know he's not a robot." "Yeah, I know that." Harley and Nightwing both looked at Batman.

earlier in stolen moments:

Tim huffed. Then he knocked on the silver-domed lid resting at the desk, covering a dish that rested on a hotplate. "Alfred left a plate." Bruce only glanced at it. "Then eat fast." "It's for you." "I'm not hungry." Tim crossed his arms. "I'm not leaving until you eat." His chin tilted upward, attempting to look implacable. She came out from underneath the desk to circle his legs, and smelled the air. Salt and fat and starch. Bruce stood straighter to look at Tim. Tim immediately faltered. "You have school in six hours," Bruce said. "Go to bed." "... promise you'll eat?" She wound around his legs. "You're aware that I'm the adult here." "Are you going to eat?" "Yes. Bed. Now." Tim sighed. "Night, Bruce."

and there's chapter five of anti-social and probably some other bits in various places

i don't know if orthorexia is really the word for what i write bruce as having, because that's usually associated with Clean Eating and Health and No Processed Foods and that's not really what he does. what he's concerned with is Maximum Efficiency. if he were left to his own devices he would take a multivitamin and then eat mostly peanut butter out of the jar and possibly some kind of whey slurry (which is p much exactly what he's doing in chapter five). protein and calorie density are the priorities.

the foods he favors tend to be things that in his mind don't 'count', foods that made it onto his list early on and now he sticks with them. like cucumbers. or yogurt. a handful of plain kix. when you have an eating disorder and you're carefully tracking everything you develop certain habits and certain 'safe' foods, and even when you try to go back to eating intuitively you still have that list in your head. if he's going to eat Real Food he favors protein-heavy and cheap because it feels like less of a waste that way. he thinks high quality foodie stuff is a pearls before swine situation when he's the target audience for soylent.

he hasn't noticed that he thinks of cheap chinese food as special occasion food, but he does

#original #ficblogging #ednos #once he decided to Travel The World In Disguise keeping a food diary stopped being realistic #he's capable of eating normally the same way he's capable of smiling #he has practice

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faeriekit · 10 months

Text

Health and Hybrids (IV)👽👻💚

[I can't remember the original prompt posters for the life of me but here's a mashup between a cryptid!Danny, presumed-alien!Danny, dp x dc, and whatever prompt made the one body horror meat grinder fic.]

PART ONE is here PART TWO is here PART THREE is here and this is part four 💚 Ao3 Is here for all parts

Where we last left off... Our boy is recovering from Bad Stuff in the Watchtower (involuntarily). Danny gets a bandaid for a variety of wounds that definitely are not covered by a little adhesive bandaid, but hey! Bart’s trying.

Trigger warnings for this story: body horror | gore | post-dissection fic | dehumanization (probably) | my awful attempts at following DC canon. On with the show.

💚👻👽👻💚

Batman clicks on the projector screen. Everyone in the room has access to the slides and note-taking abilities on their tablets. The assembled heroes quietly select their app of choice, sit back in their chairs, and ready themselves for the meeting.

“Good afternoon. For everyone in alternate time zones, good morning or good evening as they apply. Before I begin the approved agenda for this meeting, there are developments on the base that everyone ought to be aware of.”

Click. The slide changes to a fuzzy image of an unusually dense collection of shadows in a typical medical-wing setup. The specific location isn’t clear, but the phenomenon itself is stark against the white walls and flooring. The static on the cameras is atypical for the quality of equipment used on the base.

“There is an extraterrestrial lifeform that has made Medical Wing C their territory. Yes, we know they are there. No, they cannot be moved at this time. Please do not try to take initiative in doing so. Please do not enter the aforementioned medical wing. If you see this entity outside of the medical wing, please leave, ignore them, or otherwise make your presence known. They are generally in search of isolation and seek to remain unseen. All known attempts at self-defense by this entity have been largely non-hostile so far, but we do not know how or if that behavior will change as they heal.”

Batman…takes a breath. Not sighs. The vigilante has more control than that.

“They are severely injured. The exact nature of their injuries are still unknown, based on their—unique physiology—“

Barry squints at the screen. Nope. The cloud still looks like a cloud.

“—But the identified fluids they secrete have been recognized as at least partially composed of red blood platelets and a modified plasma. Based on their aggressive self-defense, the persistent seclusion behavior, and their general lack of responsiveness, the injuries are considered deeply severe and require rest to treat. It is imperative that non-medical staff and on-base heroes maintain as little contact with the entity as possible. We are attempting both delicate medical treatment and non-verbal communication, which have both failed thus far. We have reason to believe that the extraterrestrial is sentient and capable of communication based on—“

Click. The next slide is an image of a nearly-obliterated craft of some kind—tinted glass, wings, debris everywhere, twisted shards of metal that look like they scrape like teeth. Charred black everywhere. Barely visible is a torn–through upholstered seat ten yards away.

A hiss breaks the silence in the back of the room. That’s nasty-looking wreck.

“—This craft. It is relatively rudimentary in its design, and would not have held up to prolonged space travel, but would have required complex intelligence to start and maintain transport. Basic testing has proven that its energy readings, while not precisely contiguous with the Speed Force, show that it has been in contact with extradimensional phenomena. A non-sentient life would not have been able to pilot it successfully enough to crash it—much less to avoid the farmhouse in its path. The result is that we have an extremely wounded entity with no shared form of communication. There have been worrying observations by their medical team, however.”

Click.

This slide is blank.

“We are now pursuing the possibility that the entity has been attacked or otherwise held captive by human organizations here on Earth. There are persistent triggers of aggression brought on by medical settings, adults, and more specifically, any present medical personnel and equipment.”

Batman pauses.

“Their medical team has informed me that their persistent fear has made treatment…difficult.”

There’s a snort from somewhere in the room.

“If you discover any evidence of possible extraterrestrial captivity or torture or experimentation among your usual cast of rogues, please forward everything you are able to base for further investigation. In this time period where the Lanterns are unavailable to return to Earth, Martian Manhunter has been notified of the need of his presence on the base, and will hopefully help settle this matter. In the meantime, as a reminder: do not enter Medical Wing C, do not engage with the entity in any way. Simply make your presence known, and they will flee.

“Now. Onto our agenda. First article: whoever has been taking the toilet paper from the supply closet, stop it. The league is not here to fund your lifestyle habit of two-ply toilet paper.”

There’s more food available more often.

It just appears at the foot of his bed. Like magic. Or, like…like a really, really fast human child.

Some of the packaged foods Danny can’t eat without swallowing them whole, wrapper and all. They’re just too fiddly to get with his claws—the solution is to just swallow it and let the whole thing dissolve in whatever weird ecto-acid is churning in his stomach at the moment.

The rest is fresh from the bakery—or, well the base, anyway, however this moon base gets their fresh foods. Muffins and croissants and sausage rolls and other things he would expect to see on a coffee tray or something.

…Danny prods his stomach.

He’s been too sore to notice, but this half-state of being a somewhat-physical half-ghost is super, super weird. He can eat, but it’s not processed like food is in his living body. Everything he can digest just gets incorporated. Everything he can’t just gets…

He looks down at the slowly growing puddle in his bed.

…Maybe ‘spit out’ is too generous a phrase. Expelled? Excreted?

Ew. Okay that thought is kind of gross and he doesn’t want to think about that while he can’t move away maybe.

He knows, instinctually, that he’s wounded, but this half-and-half state stops him from feeling the specifics. Knowing how, exactly, he’s hurt. Experiencing the majority of the pain and distress.

He curls up on his bed.

Danny hates it here. Not because it’s bad (it is) but because he wants to be home. He selfishly, desperately wants to be home. He wants his rocket sheets. He wants his room with its glow in the dark stars.

…He wants his dad to heat up soup and sit with him, like when he was little and had nightmares. He wants Jazz to sit on the edge of his bed and read to him.

Danny wants Mom.

…There is some other company here, though.

Sometimes, if Danny is mostly sated and kind of sleepy, the quick human buzzes in with a few of its age-mates. The two don’t get as close as the buzzing human can, because Danny can at least read the Excited!! or Nervous!! or Booored! energy on the human, which makes him more comfortable with letting it in close. Its friends seem to respect his space, though. They don’t go past his curtain, even if it’s open. They talk, but they don’t yell.

Danny thinks he’s getting the soft little bones back in one of his ears, but he can’t fully tell. He can hear that they’re chattering and he can hear which sounds they’re making, but he can’t understand any of them.

Auuuuughhhhh. He pushes the pillow more underneath himself. Does he have brain damage?? Is he…is he missing pieces of his brain??

There won’t be a concrete way to tell until he solidifies again. Gross. He doesn’t want to do that yet.

Or soon.

…Or at all, maybe.

Mom was so mad at him. Maybe he’ll be safe and he can come home if she…if he can’t be touched…?

…No. He remembers. Mom makes things for ghosts.

??Concern?Con??cern?

Danny looks up. Oh. He made the human vibrate all nervously. Danny’s fine. Well—he’s not fine but he’s not hurting more than usual or hungry.

The human is careful not to touch him when he doesn’t want to be touched, but Danny’s feeling generous. When the human puts its hands on the bed, Danny willingly brushes his knuckles up against it.

No claws. A peace offering.

The human goes suuuuper still.

…Uh. Did he break it?

And then it zoooooooms away faster than Danny can comprehend (he jolts) and sprints back with a whole lot of stuff in its hands, and a few things thumpthumpthump ono his bed. And.

Well. None of it smells like food? When he bites it, it doesn’t taste like food either. In fact the texture is…

Danny frowns. Turns over the object so he can see it better. (It doesn’t help.) Is that plastic?

Wait. Danny twists it in half. His wrists ache but the pieces rotate.

…It’s a rubric’s cube.

…Huh.

There are other puzzles too—things that taste like plastic and one that tastes like wood, which he might have dented with his teeth by accident. Whoops. Danny puts that one farthest away, in the hopes that he doesn’t accidentally damage it a second time.

…Huh. That’s. That’s nice.

Danny surprises himself and the surprised!surprised! human with a purr.

It’s not a lot. Not even monetarily is this little offering a lot.

But it’s more than Danny’s had in a long time.

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cephalog0d · 8 months

Text

Yeah I'm not done yet.

The thing I keep coming back to is that as much as I'm down to nit-pick things like how characters are written and plot details (and boy are there a whole infestation of nits to pick), what it boils down to is that the basic premise here shouldn't even be happening.

I get they're doing a Thing with Bruce and the after effects of Failsafe and Zur and Insomnia so sure I guess it makes sense to have him acting totally unreasonably. I'm not saying it's a plotline I'm thrilled with, but whatever. This is about everyone else.

You have half a dozen people routinely patrolling in Gotham, who've been doing it for years, who know the city and how it works, who have at least two people who are particularly inclined towards collecting and parsing data for patterns for crime fighting purposes, and none of you noticed anything amiss until Selina called and was like "Hey did you notice my neat new plan I've been doing?"

To that point, in a room full of literal canonical geniuses not a single person has thought to ask any of a dozen very practical questions that occurred to me, a non-genius reader, roughly 10 seconds after reading what The Plan was. Things like, oh, I don't know

How is this going to be a sustainable long-term effort?

For example, what happens when Gotham's wealthiest realize what you're doing and dramatically beef up their security (with tech or with actual people), making it much harder and more dangerous?

Like iirc you, Selina, have definitely had some real dicey situations as a result of your profession, and you're a lot more experienced than these people.

(Hey speaking of which isn't there a whole secret society of Gotham's wealthiest and most powerful who have access to nearly unkillable assassins? Who keeps coming back even though they keep being taken down? You think any of these people might belong to that?)

What happens when the rich folks get pissed and sic the heavily militarized GCPD on you? Don't act like they won't, I'm sure someone's squirreled away stuff from that whole Fear State fiasco.

For that matter, what happens when the costumed villainry figure out who swiped all their henchpeople and decide to object to it, presumably violently?

How many people are we talking here anyway that you're training? How many ultra-wealthy people live in Gotham? How many easily stealable things do they have sitting around to take? (As opposed to, like, other non-liquid fake assets like stocks)

How are you fencing all this anyway? Isn't that a great way to get caught? Or is everyone just stealing cash? (Or did nobody think about the part between "got the valuable thing" and "have usable money from it"?)

How on god's green earth did you ever assume this was going to end in anything other than violence?

Like of course one of your guys got killed. It doesn't matter that you told them no violence, even if they fully buy into that it only takes one panicked reaction when someone's home who shouldn't be, on either side, and there you go.

Look I get what they're trying to do. It's supposed to be a big moral quandary about whether it's right to allow some crime if it decreases other crime, the struggle between Batman being unreasonably violent and unwilling to listen and this new plan of Selina's. First of all that's a weird debate to have when everyone having it is technically a criminal to some degree. And second of all, it doesn't matter, this isn't about the morality, this is about how this plan is fucking dumb and was destined to fall apart even if Batman was still asleep and the fact that any of you are buying it just means there's a gas leak in Gotham somewhere.

#maybe i'm totally wrong and there's some secret behind-the-scene plot happening and the plan as presented is just a front #which would not excuse the way all the kids are reacting but would at least get selina off the hook #maybe i'll eat my words later whe it turns out there was some grand plan that totally ties everything together #but right now i'm fucking annoyed at how LITERALLY EVERYONE is being handled in this and i needed to vent #for the record no i'm not at all morally opposed to the ultra-wealthy getting their shit stolen i think that part is fine #i just don't think you should base a sizeable chunk of the city's long-term economic survival on having that as an income #gotham war #comics talk

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15minlatewithbatbucks · 9 months

Text

In the League of Assassins, to return home to find one's personal quarters breached, door ajar, is a violation of the highest order - a threat, a declaration of war all rolled into one.

In Wayne Manor, it was WORSE.

Damian stood in the hallway, backpack clenched in one hand, glaring at his bedroom door with everything he had. In a just world, the door would have the decency to at least burst into flames. Alas, it did not and Damian came no closer to developing x-ray vision in the intervening moments.

He clicked his tongue and stalked forward, determined to spew vitriol of the highest caliber at the interloper.

Grayson and Todd had plans today - it was why Pennyworth had been the one to collect him from school. Brown and Cain were currently staying in the manor, but they usually only appeared around meals like the stray cats Damian fed behind the now defunct grilled cheese restaurant on the corner of Washington and 147th. Thomas and Drake usually returned later in the day - school and work respectively.

In short - Damian's room had either been breached by a stranger which was staggeringly unlikely, or there was a flaw in his information.

Throwing open the door, Damian's eyes met Drake's and every scathing insult died on his lips.

Because the older boy was sitting in Damian's desk chair with a pastel pink box on his lap. The same one that Damian had secreted away last night and hoped to return today with his older "brother" none the wiser.

"So, do you want to talk about this or..." Tim trailed off, seeming oddly relaxed.

"Get out of my room."

"Ok, because this Hello Kitty caboodle was a cherished gift from Stephanie and I was beside myself when I found out it was missing this morning."

Damian could see the bruising now, creeping up the side of Drake's neck where he'd turned to avoid taking a pipe to the throat.

"I decided to work from home," he explained unnecessarily, catching how Damian's eyes lingered on the too dark shadow around his collar. "Why did you take my makeup?"

Damian glared at him, lip curling in disgust.

"Ok," Drake said again. "At least tell me you didn't use my brushes and sponges. I don't want the cross contamination of your face germs."

"How dare you!" Damian hissed, clenching his free hand into a fist as well now. "To imply I'm unclean-"

"Oh my god, shut up. Everyone has weird face germs and whole ecosystems on their skin. People have mites in their eyelashes."

After a quick Google search, Damian determined that to be true and resolved to never think about it again.

"It's not sanitary to share," Drake concluded. Finally, he stood. Hopefully that meant that he was done with this whole mortifying ordeal. "But, Damian..."

"Leave," he ordered. Drake didn't. He just looked at Damian. It was- it was uncomfortable. Rude, even. And it certainly didn't make Damian sweat with the knowledge that a properly motivated Red Robin was nearly as observant as Batman himself.

"I'm going to make you an offer," Tim said, seemingly finding something in Damian's face or body language. "I'll take you out to a proper store for brushes and makeup - they'll be able to help with your shades and stuff better than I can - and as soon as we get home we'll never speak about it again."

Damian's eyes narrowed.

"Why?"

"Arguably so you'll be better able to go undercover - Bruce had me posing as Caroline Hill when I was a little older than you are now. But also, maybe it's a gender thing."

"It's not."

"Okay," Drake agreed easily. "But I'm going out as a woman if we do go - I have a rapport with the workers at the Sephora in Burnley."

Drake had no pride as a man, that much was obvious. Internally, Damian could admit that wasn't... Bad.

"Do you... Prefer to be a woman?" he asked stiffly because he may think Drake was a consummate waste of air, but he wasn't a monster. He would use the right pronouns.

"I don't really care," he said. "I don't feel strongly one way or another."

Leave it to Drake to half ass the entire concept of his own gender.

"If you go as a woman, would I present a hindrance to your cover?" Damian asked before he remembered that leaving for a little makeup outing with Timothy Drake was one of the last things he wanted to do.

"I could swing it," he answered. "But I think you might have fun dressing up. Have you seen my collection of wigs?"

Without knowing how, exactly, Damian found himself sat down at a proper vanity in Drake's private bathroom, hair framing his face in gentle medium brown waves. As Drake struggled with an unopened tube of eyeliner in the background, he looked at himself in the mirror.

A face achingly reminiscent of his mother's peered back at him.

#tim drake #damian wayne #damian al ghul #damian al ghul-wayne #my writing tag #tims gender in this is a lot like mine in the sense that i just dont really care #in canon damian likes to be other people just to see what its like #he dressed up as a bus driver and a substitute teacher at jons school #idk i have thoughts about him wanting to know how the other people live

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youvebeenlivingfictional · 10 months

Note

Love your Bale Batman shop girl series! Was wondering how shop girl would feel if Catwoman or some other kick-ass woman came on the scene?

Previous Part | Masterlist | Next Part

Sure thing! I did go with a different kickass woman, since Catwoman does show up in the Nolan trilogy

Warnings: Light angst; fluff added for tasty goodness

You don’t really worry about the tabloids anymore. At least, not in the way that you used to. Michelle still sends you the odd article, but it’s usually accompanied by several 😂 emojis (the most notable is the one that suggested that you, Bruce, and Liz are in a throuple, and Grant is your collective beard). Whatever the press says about Bruce becomes white noise.

But…What the press says about Batman still tends to seep through.

You can’t help but notice the Gotham Gazette where it’s spread open on Rose’s desk. She’s turned away from it, reading through the approval form that you’ve brought over to her. You can’t help but reach out, turning the newspaper toward yourself and eyeing the grainy image of Batman. Your brow furrows as you draw the newspaper up to get a better look, scanning it more closely. He’s tied up in what look like vines, and nose-to-nose with a stunning, smiling, partially-masked woman.

“You haven’t seen that yet?” Rose asks, glancing up from the document. “It’s been all over the papers for weeks.”

“Has it?” You ask dazedly. You’ve managed to miss it. You haven’t been following mentions Batman as closely on social media since you started your new job—you just haven’t had time.

“Mhm.” Rose folds her arm on her desk and leans in, peering at the picture. “Apparently it’s a real love-hate-cat-and-mouse kinda thing. Hot, right?” She waggles her brows. “I’d love to see what’s under that suit.”

“Which?”

“Either.”

You force a smile at the sight of Rose’s salacious grin, but you can’t help glancing back down at the article and skimming it. You commit the name to memory and make a mental note to look her up on your phone when you get back to your desk—

Poison Ivy.

It’s probably not much of a surprise that Bruce hasn’t mentioned her to you. For the most part—apart from the odd knowing glance, the bruises on his body, and the night he spilled into the penthouse half-dead—he keeps that side of himself to himself. Alfred doesn’t discuss it with you, either, and perhaps that’s why he seems so surprised when you slam your laptop shut as he comes into the kitchen that Saturday morning, hiding your googled articles of Poison Ivy and Batman.

Alfred’s brows raise, and you offer him a nervous, guilty smile as your face goes hot. You know that you weren’t fast enough—you’d been so honed in on reading that you hadn’t heard him until he was passing right behind you.

“...Is he awake yet?” You ask lightly, desperate to break the awkward silence.

“Only just.”

“‘Kay.”

“It seems you and Master Wayne are researching similar topics these days,” He comments, swanning around the kitchen counter and setting down the empty breakfast tray.

“Oh?”

“Mm. She's proving to be a tougher nut to crack than he thought.”

You consider for a moment. You could let the conversation go, of course. You’re certain Alfred wouldn’t press it. But:

“Has he got any leads?”

“A few,” Alfred nods, bracing his hands on the counter, “Though I would recommend asking him about his ideas and methodology.”

You bristle before you sigh and slouch dejectedly, resting your chin on your hand.

“He doesn’t talk about that stuff with me, Alfred.”

“He doesn’t like for you to worry.”

“I worry whether he tells me or not. Not knowing just makes me worry more.”

“Then perhaps that’s something you ought to tell him.”

You glance up at him warily, and some of your nerves ease as he gives you a warm smile.

“Now,” He straightens, clapping his hands together and looking around the kitchen. “Despite the hour, Master Wayne is tucking into his breakfast. Shall I get something together for your lunch?”

You consider for a moment, eyes darting down the hall before you stand, shaking your head.

“Let’s put a pin in that. I think I’m just gonna…Go steal some of Bruce’s toast.”

Alfred smiles knowingly, giving you a wink before you turn fully from him and head down the hall.

The blackout curtains have been raised just enough to let a little bit of light into the room, but it’s still quite dim. You can see the empty smoothie glass on the bedside table, and the plate of toast that Bruce has put on the wide headboard behind him. Bruce looks preciously rumpled, scrubbing his eyes as he sits up in bed. You can see a few light bruises on his bare chest and arms, but nothing too egregious. His eyes are still narrowed with sleep as he lowers his hands, and his hair looks as ruffled as a baby bird’s. He perks up as you come in, a sleepy smile pulling at his lips as you come closer.

“Hey, baby,” He murmurs, opening his arms as you climb into bed beside him.

“Sleep okay?” You ask, cuddling into his side.

“Fine. I thought you were seeing Michelle for brunch.”

“Got moved to drinks this evening. She had a work thing come up.”

Bruce hums in understanding, tucking you close and pressing a kiss to your head. You bite your lip, grappling with how to bring up the conversation.

“Late night?” You finally ask lightly. You're relieved when you don’t feel Bruce tense, or reel away. He just rubs his hand gently over your arm.

“Mhm.”

“Later than usual?”

“...About on par.”

“Mm.” You eye the steady rise and fall of his chest for a few moments before you hedge: “Hope you don't mind my asking–”

“It’s fine—”

“—You’ve just seemed a little tied up lately.” You give Bruce a sly, teasing smile, and it widens to a grin when you see him fighting back his own smile.

“Is that why you came in here?” He asks dryly.

“Of course not. I saw Alfred bringing you toast.” You straighten up, reaching over his shoulder, taking up a piece, and biting into it. Bruce chuckles, and you grin as he leans into you, nuzzling against your neck. You hum as you chew, your skin prickling at the feeling of his thickening stubble.

“How’s it going, anyway?” You ask.

“What do you mean?”

“You have any leads?”

Your stomach drops when you feel him go tense. He sighs softly, leaning away to get a better look at you. You reach back, setting the toast down and dusting crumbs from your fingers before you fold your hands in your lap, waiting patiently. After a few moments, you can’t help but wring your hands subtly as Bruce observes you, and then lowers his gaze to the sheets.

“I’m not sure I want to discuss that with you,” He finally admits. You swallow thickly, fighting to keep from shifting and fidgeting with nerves.

“Can I ask why not?”

Bruce pushes a sigh out through his nose, giving a small shake of his head.

“I can’t keep it out, huh,” He mutters.

“Well…You did for a while. Didn’t go so well,” You remind him lightly. Bruce nods, scrubbing his hand over the back of his neck as he mutters, “I know.”

You tentatively reach out, resting your hand atop his. He turns his hand over, taking a gentle hold of yours.

“I’m not asking you to make me a suit and teach me to fight, Bruce. I just want you to let me in.”

His lips twitch with a smile as he reaches up, cupping your cheek and sweeping his thumb across your cheekbone.

“I think…That her name is Pamela Isley. She’s a botanist.”

“Why is she doing…what she’s doing?”

“That’s what I still need to find out.”

You nod, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Thank you.”

He hums, grasping your jaw and drawing you in for another long, warm kiss.

“That’s never happening,” He adds as the kiss breaks. You frown, brow furrowing.

“What do you mean?”

“Making you a suit, teaching you to fight.”

You pout, cocking your head to the side.

“I ought to know how to at least throw a punch, right?”

“We’ll see about that. It’s a slippery slope,” Bruce chuckles, patting your cheek before nodding over his shoulder. “Eat your toast.”

Next Part

#Bruce Wayne x Reader #Bruce Wayne x You #Bruce Wayne/Reader #Bruce Wayne/You #Bruce Wayne fic #Bruce Wayne imagine #The Other Half #asks #replies #anon

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slvt4elliew · 6 months

Text

ellie hcs!

cw: ellie x afab!reader, established relationship, 2 idiots in love, mentions of drinking, explicit language, 18+ near the end, switch! ellie, lots of mentions of sex at the bottom, mdni or i'll find u :3

a/n: hiii! this is my first time writing so...ntm cuz it kinda sucks. idk what i'm doing so suggestions would be great! thank u 4 reading! mwah mwah mwah 💋

loves calling you random stupid nicknames. "hey, honey bunches of oats, could you come here rq?" "im sorry, what the fuck did you just call me?"

loves when you paint her nails or do her makeup, even if she complains the whole time. "ugh, this feels so gross." "c'mon, it's just lipgloss el."

BAGGY CLOTHES 🔛🔝!! her wardrobe consists of big dad jeans, random thrifted graphic tees, a shit-load of flannels, wife pleasers, sweatpants, plaid pj pants, goofy ass socks, and her one pair of beat up converse.

practically smothers you in kisses, think gomez from the addams family. forehead kisses, neck kisses, kiss on the cheek, on your shoulders, literally everywhere.

only wears childrens boxers. shes got a collection of 'em. im talking teenage mutant ninja turtles, minecraft, fortnite, SPIDERMAN, batman, dinosaurs, glow is the dark stars, etc. sometimes she'll wear the simple plaid ones tho.

she thinks shes soo good at dancing when she drinks, like she acts like shes hot shit when she just looks goofy. "babe. babe. baby, look. look at me." and when you look over she starts doing what she thinks is moon walking... its hilarious actually.

so so so clumsy. girl can't walk in a straight line to save he life. shes constantly tripping over air, and her untied shoe laces. you even made a T chart to keep score. rn its ellie 0 : air 22

always has a hand on you. you're sitting next to her? shes either pulling you into her lap or has a hand resting on your thigh. walking together? has to be holding your hand. she's in the middle of talking with someone else? a cold hand sits on your lower back, her thumb drawing soft circles to remind you shes still paying attention to you.

her hands and feet are SO cold. while laying next to her watching a movie or something, she slips a hand up your shirt to just rest it on your stomach but you squeak and flinch away from her FREEZING hands. you swear shes cold blooded

speaking of which, she loves slipping her hands up into your bra to 'warm up her hands'. whenever she asks you, you obviously allow her even though you know she'll sneakily start pinching at your nipples or squeezing your tits.

literally the funniest person ever. she can always make you laugh with her randomness and how stupid she can act. it also doesn't help that she knows you like the back of her hand so she knows what makes you nearly cry from laughing so hard. she just gets so much joy from seeing you laugh, even if it's at her. she'll do anything to see you smile.

loves cuddles!!! she has to have weekly movie nights where you both cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie.

treats you like a queen, girl is on her knees bowing down to you. does whatever you ask, you want water? done. your hungry? shes already ordered food. on your period and need stuff? shes already in the car, driving to the store. "whatcha need, pretty girl? it's okay, i can go get it."

loves you so so so much. you're her fav girl ever, she'll do absolutely anything for u.

NSFW!!

shes def a switch. bae can switch up so fast

black, 8.5 inch, slight curve, and has veins.

constantly praising you. "fuck. doin' so good for me, baby. yea, that feel good?" "yeah- just like that..."

she says the dirtiest shit ever "you gon' be a good little slut for me, hm? yea? c'mon use your words, baby." "you wan' me to fill ya up, wan' me to make u a mama?" "yeah? you like that shit? course you do, such a fucking slut, huh?"

CRAZY STAMINA. she can go for hours if you'd let her. doesn't even think about cumming herself until you've came at least 3 times. "c'mon baby, you can give me another, yeah? i know you can... you're being so good for me, one more?" "nghh can't...i-its too much." "you can baby, just one more, c'mon..."

lovesss doggy style. "all fours on the bed. now." her grip on your hips is bruising, leaving light purple marks in the morning which she'll press soft kisses to as an apology. usually has one hand on your hip so she can thrust harder into you and another in your hair, either pushing your face into the pillows or pulling your head back so she can see your fucked out face.

has the worst case of ghost-dick when shes not sober, just fucking desperately humping your ass.

if shes fucking you with her fingers, she always either sucks them clean herself or has you do it, shoving her long fingers into your mouth, sometimes purposefully making you gag on them.

she also def likes it when you suck her strap. she doesn't even care if she cant actually feel it, the harness slightly bumping against her clit and seeing how you look up at her is enough for her.

biggest tease!! rubbing slow and light circles over your clit, just enough to make you squirm and whine at her. "you wan' more? nu uh, you gotta say it."

basically makes you sit on her face, wrapping her arms around your thighs and pulling you down on her face, keeping you there. she doesn't even care, she wouldn't gladly die like that.

usually dom but can be very subby.

if you don't let her touch you shes whining and begging for you to let her. "fuck- please, baby. i'll make you feel so good, j-just..shit- please.."

used to be very shy about you eating her out but has grown more comfortable w it. "aghhnn just like that...fuck, doin' so good for me."

already starts panting and whimpering when you only barely touch her. the small kitten licks you make up her slit has her squirming and bucking her hips upward in search of more friction.

SO GOOD AT AFTERCARE!! if she's being mean, she'll immediately drop the act and cover your worn-out body in soft, loving kisses. then she'll go get a wet wash cloth and wipe you and herself off before carelessly throwing it somewhere in the room. she'll then snuggle up with you in the bed, cuddling your warm body from behind and peppering your neck and shoulders with kisses while you drift off.

#ellie williams #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams smut #tlou2 #the last of us #Spotify

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quotidian-oblivion · 8 months

Text

Fic Stats Game

Got tagged by @uncertainwallflower for this game and THANKS SO MUCH!!

Rules: Give us links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most bookmarks, fourth most comments, fifth most words, and fic with the least amount of words.

Most hits

My School’s Local Mafia Boss

I think the title really explains it all? But anyway:

Jason knew that attending a rich ass school was going to be the toughest and most mind-grating thing ever. His beliefs were confirmed when he got cornered by bullies on his first day. The only thing he was surprised about was that it took them so long to find the school's new street rat. Just as he's about to be punched, a fucking 10 year old (he's actually 12) steps in and... starts threatening the bullies? And they actually listen?? What the fuck???

And that isn't the only surprise that's waiting for him.

Yep, knew it would be this one. I'm so proud of it

Second most kudos

Sometimes You Have To Find Your Own Genes

Timothy Jackson Drake just wants peace. So far, it’s going well with his time as Robin and hanging out with Batman and Nightwing while the occasional messy, violent visits from his parents. But when a certain someone comes back from the dead and reveals the secret he was honing and hiding for most of his life... well, it basically all goes to shit.

The multichap fics have the most stats cuz... they're multichaps. They appear in the filters more often

Third most bookmarks

Phone Alarms

"Just imagine Jason recording Batman angrily yelling "Nightwing!" then setting it as the sound of Dick's phone alarm so in the next morning when it goes off he flips the fuck out"

Saw the prompt on Pinterest. Wrote this in one setting.

I'm actually really proud of this one, might reread it

Fourth most comments

Can You Deduce Where I Am Now?

As soon as he woke up after coming back from Titans Tower, the second Dick and Bruce stepped into the room, Tim had eagerly told them that Jason was alive and that he was Red Hood! They didn’t believe him, blaming it on lack of sleep and the haze being shot brought, but Tim was sure he saw Jason. Older, bigger, with a white streak in his fringe, but still Jason.

Tim goes out to find Jason to bring his big brother back home. Jason... Jason has other matters to ponder on before deciding to come back.

I love this fic!! I went through like three or four different plots before writing it right before posting it (i write everything before posting). And then Cyg came in and beta-ed it so that was fun!

Fifth most words

Let Them Be Siblings

After the Waynes burst through his door and whisk him away from his parents and their harsh belting, their plane blows up, leaving Tim an orphan. Living in the manor is getting a little suffocating because no one seems to understand that he still loves his parents. They expect him to just “get over” his grief and—

Tim can’t stay anymore. So he runs away. And meets two very interesting people.

Least words

Regarding The Workings Of A Zoo

Damian collecting a series of increasingly non-domesticated animals and naming them after his siblings.

A drabble for 105 subscribers on ao3 and 100 followers on Tumblr!

This is 886 words i cant write small stuff, i keep blabbering

No pressure at all tags: @sardonic-sprite @tristicorde @wakkoroni @foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego

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batmanfruitloops · 3 days

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Oh what a coincidence, my sibling has been replaying Arkham Knight too! What are your opinions on the Arkham series? The story? Designs? I quite liked the first two, I wasn't a big fan of the car mechanics in the third but I appreciate a good scarecrow plot

I love the series but I enjoy playing more than the stories. My favorite of the series is Arkham Knight, I love the open world, the story, the environments, and the gameplay. It seems like most people hate the car, including myself but I do get a kick out of how violently I smack into things or how easily I flip myself over, especially while Eddie yells at me. I don't like that a big chunk of the puzzles are reliant on the car. I just enjoy being Batman and talking to myself in character. Also, I think Arkham Knight Scarecrow is hot, so more reason to play.

I do like how much all the games have in terms of content, there's so much to do and look at. Origins is my least favorite, I find it a bit boring and it's a pretty buggy game in my experience but it does offer a lot to do compared to City and Asylum. Also, I collected all the "riddles" in Origins TWO TIMES and it glitched in such a way it thought I still had one riddle left so I didn't get the prize for getting all the riddles. Despite these issues, I would like to 100% it eventually like I have with the other three.

I love the art and designs and all the little attention to detail. I appreciate that you can look at the concept art in each game, as I would love to do stuff like that for my career. Though I think artistically they're all pleasant I'm not a big fan of a lot of the characterizations, I wouldn't say the writing is bad the stories are pretty solid but it's mostly the way characters are written that I have an issue with. Especially, Batman, I feel like he's out of character a lot of the time and seems too pessimistic about things, especially in regards to the villains. He seems to have no hope of helping them and is pretty rude to them. Like calling Waylon ugly or just completely dehumanizing him calling Waylon an animal or referring to him as "it". Or when he brings up Eddie's diagnoses as if he's stuck like that or there's no hope for him to recover when there are most certainly treatments for someone with those mental illnesses/disabilities. It rubs me the wrong way whenever, at least when I perceive it to be that way, any kind of illness or disability (mental or physical) is treated like that makes you evil or it means there's no hope for you because the aforementioned "issues" prevent you from changing. You could argue that they are choosing to be horrible people, but I don't feel like that is what is being communicated. Maybe that's just my own bias.

Also, the conditions of Arkham don't seem to be brought up, in regards to Asylum and City. Like that's why they're not getting better and actively getting worse. It seems like Batman has little compassion for anyone and just wants to send the rogues to jail and the way he treats his allies doesn't seem like "I'm doing this to protect you because I care" rather that they are just in his way. Overall it's just too gloomy for me. Maybe because it's written for a video game and it's trying to avoid ludo narrative dissonance. I don't know, I'm not an expert. Because of this I always joke that I've killed whatever enemy (ies) I've taken out. I make my own fun and joke around a lot while playing to enjoy the world more. I don't want to think about the bleakness of it.

Despite the outlook being relatively grim and bleak, they are some of my favorite video games ever. I don't have to be enveloped in that story and can just enjoy the gameplay and do my own silly little thing being an absolute gremlin of a Batman and making the characters kiss in my mind. It's just a fun place to scream and yell and run around and say "I'm Batman" to myself while flirting or yelling at whatever character (or making them flirt/yell at each other).

-Fluffy

#batmanfruitloops #not au related #fluffy sqeaks #batman #arkhamverse #answers

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blupenguinz · 8 months

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I don’t want to sound whiny but I can’t help but feel annoyed at how the majority of the Batman fandom on tumblr just flat out ignores comics.

Like you can’t even make the excuse that they can’t afford comics or they don’t know where to start reading for their favourite characters as there’s literally websites where you can read comics FOR FREE and there’s multiple detailed reading lists for basically every major batman character.

Like I don’t understand how people can easily read a 300k word fanfic but can’t be bothered reading a 200 page picture book. Is it because they don’t like the characterisations of certain characters in the comics and other pieces of batman media for that matter?

I would understand it a bit better if that was the case. But here’s the thing, Batman has been around for nearly a century. Multiple different writers and artists have worked on him for the past 80+ years, you can’t seriously be surprised that not every interpretation meets your liking. It’s not bad writing when Batman doesn’t kill the Joker or when Bruce and Dick don’t get along. Batman can’t always act like the tired but loving father to the wacky and quirky batfamily .

There will be times where the characters don’t act like themselves, especially right now where it honestly seems they’re just regressing the batfamily at this point. But as someone who has been reading the comics for a year now and is massively enjoying it I can definitely say that the good outweighs the bad. Collecting and reading comics is really fun and satisfying in my opinion and the best part is that it helps you understand and appreciate your favourite characters more.

For example, let’s say your favourite character is Cassandra . Wouldn’t you want to consume as much media as possible with her in it. Stuff that understands her character the best and gives you the most accurate portrayal of her character? A medium that isn’t plagued with stories of batcest or stories saying that adoption doesn’t make people legitimate members of the family?

I don’t know man I’m not trying to say you can’t enjoy fanfics or bits of fanon, but I BEG that you give comics a try at least.

At the end of the day we are all fans of Batman and I think we should start appreciating canon for all the good it gave us over the years.

#batman #fandom #batman fandom #batman meta #batfam #batfamily #batfamily meta #dc #dc fandom #dc comics #if anyone reads this add your favourite comic in the notes I would like to see what your favourites are

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