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r-f-m-writes · 21 days

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A Lark In a Hollow Chapter One

Really, she doesn't have a choice.

Lark barely remembers the huge shadow of a man sitting beside her in the dead heat of Mrs. Poppy's office at the children's home. He is silent, stoic, and completely terrifying.

Christopher Hollow.

Muscled.

Six foot five.

Storm blue eyes.

Dog tags outlined under the straining stretch of his black tee-shirt.

"Lark," Mrs. Poppy says, gently, "you're happy with this arrangement? You want to go with your Godfather?"

There's no money left for her to live off until she finds a job - if she finds a job.

Her Dad is dead.

Lark doesn't have a choice.

Lark Douglas didn’t know who Christopher Hollow was when Mrs. Poppy brought his name up to her on a hot Saturday afternoon in her office. The additional details that he had served with her Dad in Afghanistan and was her appointed legal guardian and Godfather did nothing to help jog Lark’s memory.

In fact, it was a full week after Mrs. Poppy informed Lark of Christopher Hollow’s existence that the girl finally managed to scrounge up a single, short, fuzzy memory of the man.

She was home.

The door to their flat was open, the old ceiling fan had been turning in slow circles over her head. It did nothing to fight against the mid July heat that was so stifling and muggy it made her skin stick to the linoleum floors. She had sat on the couch playing with Labrador, her stuffed toy dog, when Mom walked in with someone.

Lark was five, she thinks, and she hadn’t paid attention to anything that was being said, or looked at who had stepped the room after her mother. She only glanced up from where she was making her stuffed dog do backflips off the worn-down couch cushions when big, black boots stepped into her vision off the edge of the sofa.

The man who stood in front of her was tall, wearing camo pants and a fitted grey tee-shirt. His face was hard to remember, but Lark thought he had sandy brown hair and the start of a thick brown beard. He had crouched down, setting aside a battered black duffle bag, looking at her like he expected something.

Lark had only stared at him.

Mom’s voice had a strain in it when she spoke.

“Say hi to Chris, baby. He’s come all the way from the airport just to see you.”

The man spoke before Lark had the chance. He had a deep, rough rumbly voice.

“Don’t worry her about it, Lori. Been two years. I’d be surprised if Pet remembered me at all.”

Pet.

That was the only memory Lark had of Christopher.

She wasn’t even sure it was real and not just something she had made up in the recesses of her mind as an unconscious effort to help herself fill in the gaps and feel less uncertain.

She had lots of memories like that.

Memories no one else could verify. Memories she wasn’t sure happened, but couldn’t shake as being real.

This was what led Lark to where she stood at the top of the worn flight of wooden stairs. Seventeen years old, dressed in clothes that didn’t belong to her, feeling entirely unsure of what the future would hold.

Seventeen, and only three weeks and four days shy of her eighteenth birthday.

It was ridiculous.

Stupid, even.

Why couldn’t she just wait it out at the girl’s home?

Why was Mrs. Poppy was obligated, by law, to reach out to relatives Lark had never even heard of and negotiate with them down the phone, asking and then, after the eighth rejection, pleading with each of them to come and pick her up?

“Just a month - no, no, you wouldn’t have to commit to adoption, Mrs. Tanner - not at all. I am only reaching out because Lark is your niece, and I am sure you want the best for her -”

The list thinned, name by name. Lark saw them each time Mrs. Poppy opened the manilla envelope with her initials on it, glancing over the struck off phone numbers and feeling nothing.

The rejections didn’t surprise her.

She knew from lived experience how reluctant people were to help a stranger.

It took less than half a week for them to reach the last one.

His name.

Christopher Hollow.

He was who Lark was waiting for as she hung onto the banister, her dark eyes fixed on the panes of frosted glass in the door, anticipating seeing a shadow blot across the panels when he stepped onto the porch and rang the buzzer.

Floorboards creaked.

Lark moved too late when Mrs. Poppy stepped out of her office that stood at the side of the stairs. The stacked blonde beehive of her hair bobbing into the girl’s view as Lark tried to scurry back out of her sight.

Too little, too late.

The kind wrinkles around Mrs. Poppy’s eyes doubled and deepened as the sound made her look upward and spot Lark.

“Lark, there you are! I was just about to come and find you, dear. Nip down into my office for a moment, I’ve got some things I want to discuss with you before Mr. Hollow arrives.”

The old stairs squeaked loudly as the girl walked sheepishly down the grossly worn-out blue carpet runner, rounding the curved banister at the bottom to follow Mrs. Poppy into her office.

It was sun warm inside, light spilling over the faded hardwood floor and shiny varnish of the big, brown desk, highlighting the dozens of ring-marks stained into its top by mugs of coffee past. Mrs. Poppy rounded the desk, having to skirt sideways between the edge of it and the rows of heavy metal file drawers that flanked the room on all sides.

Taking her perch in a black wheely chair, the woman gestured for Lark to sit in one of the two big, green, retro velvet sofas that faced her desk.

Sinking down into her seat, Lark folded her hands in her lap and looked at the woman, waiting to be spoken to. She had been thoroughly taught from a young age that she was to be seen and not heard. There had also been plenty of occasions when Lark wasn’t to be seen or heard. Those were moments when her half empty pink, princess wardrobe came in handy.

Mrs. Poppy placed a pair of up-swept cat eye spectacles on the tip of her tall, gently crooked nose, and took out a notepad. It was one of dozens she had, this particular piece of stationary sported Lark’s name on its front, written in black pen and then broadly underlined in purple marker.

“Miss Douglas today is a big one for you. How are you feeling, hon? Excited? Nervous?”

The soft slip of her southern accent calmed Lark some as she fought against the urge to fidget, keeping her fingers still in her lap.

“Excited, Ma’am. Dad didn’t like to travel much, so seeing the Appalachians sounds like a real adventure.”

Lark stuck a quick smile onto the end of her lie. She had rehearsed it in her head a hundred times since she was told the good news a week before.

Christopher Hollow wanted her.

He was driving the whole way down the coast from his home in the Appalachian Mountains to come and collect her. Lark couldn’t even comprehend where the Appalachian Mountains stood, just that they were stupendously far away.

Mrs. Poppy grinned at Lark, genuine and radiant, as she wrote something in fast scratching cursive over and empty line of the notepad.

“Always such an optimist, Lark. I’m sure Mr. Hollow will be delighted by you.”

Lark’s left thumb twitched. When she smiled, it felt tight in the corners, “I certainly hope so, Ma’am.”

And she truly did. Lark knew the way men behaved when they weren’t delighted by her.

~R.F.M~

A fist gripped long, brown hair tightly enough to tear dozens of strands out of Lark’s scalp as she was dragged down the hallway by her head, the girl’s frame stooped almost to the floor as she clawed at the hands restraining her.

“Fucking little bitch coming to steal from me? Think you’re slick, huh?”

In honesty, Lark did.

She had stolen from the man before on countless occasions, rummaging through the contents of his worn leather wallet, fishing out loose coins and dollar notes that wouldn’t be missed. Before, he was always too out of his mind to realize, so Lark had gotten greedy.

Twenty dollars was a lot of money to people like them. She was foolish for thinking she could snatch it away without his notice.

Lark didn’t know his name, or his age, or anything about him other than the fact he bought pot on Thursday afternoons and left the door to his apartment wide open with 90’s music playing full volume while he sat out on his balcony in a beat-up pink recliner, back to the living room, smoking.

By all accounts, the man wasn’t very smart. But he was still a man, a man much stronger than Lark.

#ao3 original work #orignal character #orignal writing #ao3 writer #archive of our own #a lark in a hollow #original male character #original female character #original novel #original work #dead dove do not eat #dead dove fic #shortandsweet #short and sweet #sweet'nshort #rfmwrites

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sexydreamgirl · 1 year

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I need to say something to you all that may come harshly, but I say it out of love.

A lot of you would be living your dream lives already or have even succeeded at the I AM state months ago if you had just logged off of Tumblr and abandoned all other loa resources.

I really really hate, loathe and despise the obsession with “the void”. Nobody hates it more than me. I’m its number one hater.

You guys have over complicated something that wasn’t complicated in the first place.

These are Neville's instructions about how to do it:

You say silently but feelingly, "I AM." Do not condition this awareness but continue declaring quietly, "I AM — I AM." Simply feel that you are faceless and formless and continue doing so until you feel yourself floating.

Mind you, people haven’t even experienced the floating feeling or any other symptoms and still succeeded. You guys take mental note of what worked for another anon and hope that this will finally be it and that’s the problem You read success story after success story and send follow up questions about how long it took them to “get in”, which affirmations they used, what position they laid in, which exact meditation they listened to, what the temperature of the room was and whatever other irrelevant matters. You go from blog to blog in search of validation, wondering if you did it right by laying facedown rather than in a starfish position, if the affirmation you used is okay and if swallowing was the reason why you failed. That’s why you’ve continued to struggle, you keep entertaining the idea that you’re doing it wrong because you’re not doing it exactly like someone else and that has been the downfall for a lot of you. What should have been the takeaway? Different things work for different people, but what if I reminded told you that you are… God? As in, THE GOD, who gets to decide (assume) and so shall be? The God who can assume that snapping their fingers will instantly turn them into pure consciousness. Yet here you all are, folding like H&M sweaters accepting this (“failure”) to be your state of consciousness and hoping that this new exact procedure will finally help you succeed when all it has ever taken was to… assume otherwise.

The reason you’ve failed is because you’re conscious of that. How many times should I remind you all that consciousness is the only reality? That all it takes to finally see and experience the change is for you to shift your state of consciousness?

In order to rise to the level that you are not now expressing, you must completely drop the consciousness with which you are now identified. Until your present consciousness is dropped you will not be able to rise to another level.

Here is a list of all of the new additions that have been introduced/overcomplicated it:

Having to relax

Clearing your mind

Laying down

Staying still

Not swallowing (...?!?!)

Doing it before going to bed/at night

Using any kinds of waves (alpha/epsilon/theta)/subliminals

Affirming anything aside from I AM [I am pure consciousness/faceless and formless/the void/nothing]

Doing 3 day-3 week challenges……

inducing sleep paralysis

void concept………………

Affirm mindlessly throughout the day that it’s easy to do

I know people who’ve succeeded despite moving, while in class, while standing up in the shower yet day in and day out I continue to see people beg for the specifics. If any of these procedures worked for you and you manifested your dream life, congratulations! but none of these deviations are necessary. All they do is cultivate new assumptions within you guys that in order to become pure consciousness you need to clear your mind, stay completely still, take deep breaths, lay in x position, count to x, affirm «…» countlessly, etc.

I would also like to add, there is no need for void oriented blogs or extensive informational posts regarding this subject. You guys are only making it worse on yourselves. Blogs that are committed to answer void questions and reblog void success stories do more harm than good because they further condone the fascination with it and harvest more assumptions about how to do it.

Not only that, you guys obsess over methods and challenges wayyyyyyyy too much and your attention is specifically consumed by them when your focus should be targeted towards having it in the 4D. When you are fixated by the need for it to be present in the 3D as soon as possible, you are missing the point of the law of assumption.

It is not about wanting nor getting, it is about embodying and accepting that it is already yours now. Claim it in imagination and it’ll inevitably crystallize within your tangible reality. As within, so without.

There is no shame in wanting to try it out, there is shame in the pedestalization of it. The I AM state is not the answer to all of your problems. I understand the need for instant results, I know people who were dealing with difficult circumstances and wanted an immediate remedy so the I AM state became the goal when it shouldn’t be the goal, it’s only the means to get you to the goal, but obsessing over whether you’re doing it correctly isn’t going to help you, it’ll only impose stress and frustration upon you and will further push you in a hole of desperation and the cycle will perpetuate.

It only worsens when people literally put their lives on hold. You could have manifested your dream life within a week by entertaining a completely new state of consciousness (though gentle reminder that time shouldn’t be a point of focus in general either but I digress), but your attention is entirely consumed by the I AM state and you’re participating in three day challenges “waiting” until your mind is completely marinated in affirmations about how quick and easy it is… why? Stop waiting for your desires, they are yours NOW.

The reason why methods and challenges work in the first place is because you have given them permission to be the conditions that will be required in order to bring your desire in the 3D. If you assumed clapping three times would add $500,000 to your bank account that’s precisely what would happen and all that is asked of you is to shift your state of consciousness. Methods and challenges do not grant your desires, they are only training wheels that’ll aid you to live in the end and feel the wish fulfilled, which is meant to be the goal.

To see that you guys go to me and other blogs BEGGING us to manifest that you wake up in the void tells me that you guys truly don’t see yourselves as the architects of your reality.

Please adjust your self concept and stop surrendering to other people, it’s absolutely shameful. You are GOD, please start acting (and thinking) as such. Stop seeing yourself as a failure and start seeing yourself as the person who’s in control of every facet of their reality. because you are. The 3D is malleable at your command. That is what the law states. Please STAND UP.

You want to succeed at the I AM state? Okay, apply the basis of the law. How would you feel if you knew that becoming pure consciousness was as easy as breathing? That all it took was for you to relax and dwell on I AM? How easy it is for you to do whenever you feel like it? Sustain that state and you will not fail.

I genuinely pity and condemn the damage the fixation on the I AM state has caused in the community as a whole as well as on you guys individually. This is helping no one and I am tired of seeing the chokehold it has put a lot of you in. if you feel called out by this post then I strongly encourage you to reconsider what you plan to do from this point on. Leave « the void » alone, learn about the law and apply. Please, please, please give « the void » a rest. Not for my sake, but for yours. The pen (your imagination) is always in your hand and it's simply waiting to be used. You are all infinitely greater than you think you are. Stop putting your lives on hold and neglecting the inalienable power within you over the I AM state.

You have my love and you have my support. I wish each and every one of you nothing less than all of your desires materialized. I am here for you to help you however I can when it comes to clarification regarding the law of assumption, but I'm never going to partake in this fascination with the I AM state and further exacerbate it.

That is all.

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faelapis · 7 months

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despite some concerns raised by the trailer/marketing, i am still excited for the wish movie. a lot of that has to do with king magnifico.

that being said, i approach it from a different direction than a lot of other people excited for a “classic disney villain.”

first of all, yes. i, too, love the camp and melodrama of classic disney villains. i love that they express their wishes through big bombastic musical numbers, and said musical numbers are often the best in their movies. i like how queer-coded and fun they often are. i like the sass, the drama, the energy.

where i disagree with a lot of people is with this notion that disney movies “don’t have villains” anymore. i don’t think the likes of hans (frozen) and tamatoa (moana) are less evil than "classic" villains - they’re plenty willing to kill with a smile on their face.

i think what people ACTUALLY miss is the big performance around it all. the aesthetic. someone who does these things while being a major character (so not tamatoa) and deliciously, obviously evil while having fun with it the whole time (so not hans). i think it’s that specific combination people are missing. we still have villains, they’re just either not as “fun” or not as “important.”

of course, that take is less punchy than saying disney doesn’t have villains because "steven cringeyverse destroyed western animation and now companies are too scared to make real villains >:( !1!!!"

yeah i never understood where that came from. if anything, redeeming villains is more controversial than killing them. especially in america, being punitive is the norm. forgiveness is cringe. yet so many act as if there was some big consumer and/or corporate pushback against the idea of villains…? at some point?? i guess????

someone must've forgotten to tell that to disney tv animation, where you’ll find everything from bill cipher to belos in the modern era. (also, other companies exist? dreamworks is not some indie studio, they’re fully willing to have big, campy villains.)

but yknow, people like to feel like underdogs. they like to feel like they're somehow oppressed because some animated media don't have classic villains anymore... despite there still being plenty around. you can’t just like villains, you have to make it everyone else’s problem. like disney is obliged to do the same character tropes in every movie. or villains are "dead."

what actually happened is just… some writers at disney decided they wanted to do different things. that’s it. so you now have a handful of movies where the villain is either a minor character, or nonexistent.

it’s not a conspiracy, it’s not a concerted effort to destroy villains. it’s, at most, a trend. because some writers wanted to push against the previous status quo. and now other writers who grew up with that want to have more classic villains, because that’s what they see as exciting and new. it’s just a cycle of trends and countertrends.

anyway. long tangent aside, i’m actually very excited for king magnifico. in part for a classic villain performance (he gets a song!!) - but also, it sounds like he might scratch a particular itch of mine.

which is to have a big, dramatic, irredeemable villain… who is still a human and has an understandable pov.

yes, you can combine these things. it’s not common for disney, but a lot of what we consider “great movie villains” throughout history have been this exact combination. they have to be defeated, they refuse redemption, they are 100% committed to their goals and will not budge - but they also GENUINELY BELIEVE in those goals.

what i’m really asking for here is a sincerely motivated character. someone who is a villain, but doesn’t SEE himself as a villain. someone who isn’t lying when they try to endear themselves to the hero or promise to make the world better if they join forces. it’s just that they are completely misguided about what would be good for the world, and nothing will persuade them.

whether someone is a villain, a hero, or anywhere in between, i think asking a character’s motivation - and playing those motivations straight, rather than just as a mask for plain selfishness - is key.

as i’m saying this, you might notice that it’s not actually too far off from what i like in other characters. jasper in SU is basically this in her "main arc” in season three. she refuses help, she’s a huge dick to everyone… but she also 100% believes in homeworld as an institution and is actually, genuinely selfless. even if it means her own corruption, she refuses help, because that would betray her cause. which she values above her own life. and by rebecca sugar’s own words, jasper doesn’t even believe she deserves help.

the common thread here is really tragedy. someone you can root for and against at the same time.

so how does this relate to king magnifico? well, jennifer lee (writer for this movie & also the frozen movies) just had an interview where she talked a lot about wish, and in specific, having a classic disney villain in magnifico.

she illustrates a lot of what i’ve been talking about - that there is no grand conspiracy at disney against villains. they just had different stories they wanted to tell. there was no mandate either for or against villains, not in this movie or any other. they just did what they wanted to do with those stories. (btw, that’s not me saying there isn’t pressure at disney to tell certain stories and not others. it’s just that the concept of a villain isn’t as important to the corporate side as, say, not making elsa gay.)

anyway. what makes the king magnifico portion interesting is how lee talks about exactly what i’ve been saying. they knew they wanted a classic disney villain, but it sounds like they still want him to be different from other such characters. namely, they wanted to find the benevolent side of him, how he genuinely believes what he believes and DOES want what he thinks is best for the city of rosas.

and the plot totally checks out - basically, he decides whose wishes come true. and that’s really interesting, because a wish can be anything, good or bad. it sounds like he really wants to prevent what he sees as bad wishes from coming true, and is too conservative in what he allows or not. and his way of being kind about rejection is to remove those wishes from people’s hearts if he cannot fulfill them.

that’s SUCH a great concept for a villain. it speaks to issues of control, of agency, of being in the paternalistic position of deciding what is “best” for everyone else. it gives me a little bit the wizard of oz (as in the wizard himself, who is a charlatan trying to maintain a pleasant status quo, even if it’s a lie), and a little bit white diamond (controlling the lives of others, but genuinely believing you are being selfless and heroic about it / steering people on the “right” path).

reading that interview, my excitement for this movie went from like a 2/10 to a 8/10. jennifer lee seems to have a real interest in creating characters, not just stock tropes. elsa is one of the best disney princesses (fight me) for exactly the same reason.

another great concept talked about here (which you also see in lee’s frozen, with anna and elsa as opposites) is that of duality. there’s a lot of talk about magnifico and asha being two sides of the same coin, both initially believing in this system and wanting what’s best for the city. and from there, they divert to their opposite paths in what specifically they think is right. the interview talks about them as if they were this thesis and antithesis about what’s right for the city, needing to reach a synthesis. in talking about this concept, they included this illustration:

notice the similar poses. both have their hands behind their back (commonly used to convey a character is hiding something), their feet pointed out, and give the world a pleasant smile. asha has a darker color palette in a world of light, magnifico is a ray of light in a dark space. it's interesting for its duality.

so yeah. all in all, i’m still excited for wish. i want to take alan tudyk goat out back and shoot it for a quick, humane death… but failing that, i’ll just pray his role was hammed up for the trailer. please tell me it’s not that insufferable. please.

because i do really like everything else i’ve heard about this movie!! i like that asha is described as this idealist with “dumb courage”, like maybe she’ll actually have some character flaws and need to learn?? (maybe? hopefully?) i like everything i just said about king magnifico. i like that we have this blend of 2d and 3d animation, that’s such a clever concept for a “100 years of disney” celebration.

so yeah. i will be watching. never have i ever prayed for chris pine to save a movie, but today might just be the day!

#wish #wish 2023 #disney wish #disney 100 #king magnifico #wish asha #long post /#ask to tag /

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abiiors · 7 months

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A FIC ABOUT TAKING CARE OF ROSS OH PLEASEEEE GIVE ME THE HURT/COMFORT AWHILE BACK I REQUESTED ABOUT COMFORTING /HIM/ INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND (and you wrote it and it was amazing) ITS MY FAVORITE TROPE

SORRY FOR YELLING IM JUST EXCITED!

it's quite short but it's sweet <3

you watch ross with a frown on your face. which is not how it usually goes—usually, you watch him absolutely enamoured or with a huge grin on your face. or sometimes, when you’re busy belting out the lyrics and shredding an air-guitar, you don’t even watch him at all. but today, (rather, in the last few days) the frown has been making a more and more frequent appearance.

you know he’s been in pain and you know how much he keeps minimising it with frequent reassurances of “i’m fine,” and “you're worried over nothing.” and sure maybe you are, but you don’t like the way he keeps shaking his hand and scruntching his face in pain after every song. especially now that they’re done with most of the set with only two more songs left.

so you sit backstage, restlessly tapping your foot and waiting for him to come back.

fifteen more minutes, and you hear the tell-tale sounds the cheers and whoops and laughter—matty’s giggle the loudest among them all but ross is laughing along too.

he looks perfectly fine when he comes into view. exactly like he does every day except for the hint of a blue tap peeking out from under his sleeve. well this is new—you didn’t know he had to put it on.

“did you enjoy it love?” he asks, placing a kiss on your head and immediately makes his way to his bag.

you mumble a non-commital yes and watch him dig through it until he finds the familiar pack of ibuprofen and looks around in search of some water.

“ross…” you sigh, holding out a bottle of water which he takes gratefully and swallows down two pills.

he’s oblivious to you watching him—from the way he can’t open the cap of the bottle on the first try to how he constantly flexes and unflexes his hand, almost subconsciously at this point while he jokes around with polly about something.

so when you get a minute with him alone, you pull him aside.

“you’re hiding it from me.” your tone is slightly accusatory which makes him frown in confusion.

“hiding? babe, what…”

“your arm. you’re hiding the fact that it hurts to play!” you poke his arm lightly, just a graze of your finger against his wrist but ross looks away guiltily.

“i am not hiding!” he grumbles but his shoulders slump a little as he gazes at the ground. the guilt in his eyes is evident, but he's not ready to admit it fully just yet. "i just don't want you to worry, that's all. it's no big deal, honestly."

you can't help but roll your eyes at his stubbornness. "ross, you're in pain. you're wincing and fidgeting on stage. it's obvious to me, and i'm sure it's noticeable to the fans too. you’ve got a tape wrapped around it. do you honestly expect me to believe it’s because you’re “not in pain”?”

he lets out another sigh, rubbing his temple as if trying to chase away a growing headache. "i know, love. but i’m handling it, okay? i can’t exactly take a break though, can i?”

that softens you a bit—enough that you step forward and cradle his face between your hands. “i know it’s a lot at the moment… but can you let me take care of you at least? icing it can help, right?”

he nods and you make a mental note to google all the ways to lessen his pain because yes, unfortunately taking a break is not an option.

so till then, it’s ice packs, and tapes and ibuprofen.

“something warm helps too,” he volunteers, cheekily pulling you closer. “a bath when we get back to the hotel?”

you roll your eyes at him again, trying and failing to suppress your smile. “anything else, babe? a sexy nurse costume to go with your treatment?”

“i mean if you’re offering–ow!” he laughs at your attempts to smack his chest.

despite the pain, you’re glad to see him back in high spirits again and finally willing to accept being taken care of. it’s not ideal—the injury, the schedule. anything really. but at least now you can properly devise a plan.

#✉️#♡︎: ross blurbs

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fairuzfan · 4 months

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ahlan. maybe ignore this if you’re not american, but ive seen what you’ve said about biden and i obviously agree hes a bloodthirsty motherfucker who doesn’t deserve a single vote from people who claim to care about palestine. but as a palestinian myself, what do you say to these americans that are like “well what else are we supposed to do, vote for trump?” cuz i genuinely am not sure myself either.

my first thought would be to just not vote or vote for a third party and focus on calling represantatives and marching in the streets until some semblance of change can occur. But I wonder how practical that really is.

A part of me is screaming very loudly about how idgaf about practicality and if they really cared then they would act in a more direct manner because it seems very whiney for them to be like “we dont have a choice :(( hes the lesser of two evils” (the dude whos playing a huge role in committing a literal genocide) when people in gaza are going through literal hell. it boils my blood but im trying to think of what they can do really and set my emotions aside for a second.

Do you have any thoughts on this? and thanks for taking the time to read btw.

No problem, Ahlan to you also!

Honestly I'm not voting on a federal level. Congress, senate, and the president have blatantly shown us they don't care about our opinions. We have been calling and emailing for months and they just flat out ignore us. So what's the point in voting if they're not going to listen to us? I told them that I won't vote for them unless they call for a ceasefire and I mean it!

I see Claudia de la Cruz seems to be popular, I'm not especially motivated in voting for anyone for president but you personally might be interested in looking into it.

I just genuinely don't see the point in voting for president since I think the whole system is messed up and I'm not sure anyone can fix it. So I choose not to participate beyond local elections. But that might not feel like it's helpful, and again, I don't think you should take my word for it lol but it's just my perspective. I don't think people who vote for Biden are necessarily.... bad people all the time but I do think people who pretend like they're doing a great service to others by voting for him are objectively bad. Like I don't care, if you're trying to pass off the genocide of Palestinians and the third nakba as a "necessary evil" then I think you're a bad person and I will never take what you say about politics seriously.

People pretend like we are protecting democracy by voting blue but when democrats just blatantly ignore us as we overwhelmingly participate in dissent in the ways our "democracy" allows us.... then sorry we don't live in a democracy. Full stop.

I'm not sure if what I said was reassuring or anything, and again, I think you should still look into the candidates and arrive at your own conclusion but I am thoroughly disillusioned by the entire system and I don't think anything will change that anytime soon.

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rin-and-jade · 9 months

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Who am I.. : A post about being blurry

I got a few things to talk about here, while some of you are already aware of its struggles and have experiences around it, i’d love to add on more about this (it’s a long post) so don’t mind if i do;

To reiterate, being blurry means you’re in a moment where identifying who is out (at front) and who is currently talking (in co-con) takes huge effort or near to impossible in resolving this cloudy situation,, as well as having hazy + worser memory and lastly, bad internal communication that may occur.

There are some factors that are not limited to:

Exposed to stressors

Exhaustion

Lacking restful sleep

Dissociative mechanisms

Being overwhelmed

etc..

People may have different tolerance level and frequency that also could be out of natural reasons and lifestyles (as well as periods of alertness, yes, it shifts in different hours of the day), when having this once in a while its not a prob at all.. but what if it became more frequent than usual? Do you know what to do? If you do please reblog your own approach so it can help others. And for those who don’t i do have my own and i’ll give some of my approaches after i tell some potential effects that can happen when being blurry:

Having inconsistency in portraying outside

Dealing with confusion, can cause conflicts inside

Harder time in deciding or responding

Trouble around communicating with parts effectively and clearly

Memory gaps and losing track of time

These things aren't lovely, not even a bit.. so i have two ways to deal with it depending on context and situation,, Solve or Adapt. Solve is where you want to end the blurriness for good and Adapt is when Solve does not work or can’t be bothered to at first place.

Choosing Solve:

Using list of alters (especially pk bot) and go through each of them, seeing which one resonates.

Same thing but with music, make sure its the songs you know they (your other parts) listen to or from the provided playlist already.

Pay attention to a distinctive trait that pops out from all the meshed stuffs going on (specific way of talking or thinking or vibes, anything else)

Think of what clothing style you’d like to wear? Then check that with who would dress like that.

Choosing Adapt:

Give up with demanding tasks (unless if it’s important, just use your energy efficiently) and consider relaxing. This helps keeping mental load at bay.

Feeling unsure about who you are can be uncomfy, doing some comfort activities might do the trick.

Prepare a notes app and jot everything down to keep track of chores or work to do or remembering important things, don’t take it lightly because memory won’t be as helpful as usual.

Keep workload and stress at minimum, if it can be done later then put it aside, if not,, try breaking it to easier bits and commit to it with breaks if needed.

Last thing i want to tell is that I’ve seen my friends being blurry but not wanting to resolve it either due to not having enough mental capacity to deal with that, or having brain fog which makes it harder, or having way too much overlapping traits/identities that is beyond confusing which demotivated them, or not cut for it due to not enough understanding yourself/others to discern at the first place.. and thats okay, because im here if you need some help (or you can ask your trusted friend) and i hope this post is informative, stay slay guys.

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did system #did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #plural #system stuff #sysblr #Jeducates

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brakken · 10 months

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it’s 3 am and I need to talk about critical role

spoilers for campaign 3, episode 65 below the cut

So I haven’t been keeping up with the latest campaign as much lately (and still have to watch the second half of this ep, even) - but, y’all, I can’t sleep and I gotta talk about that kiss.

I loved how... simple it was, compared to other moments in the show of this type of affection. There’s Imogen & Laudna, doing grocery shopping - just a homely good deed for someone else - such a domestic and safe moment despite the world in the state it’s in, and that’s where Imogen is able to properly reunite with Laudna. To acknowledge that she’s hurting, yes - and also, in this crowded place where Imogen’s now free of all the outside thoughts, to express an inner feeling in a simple, wordless way.

That kiss was so filled with reassurance, commitment, and unshakeable love - but it was also as if for Imogen it was just the natural course of action. An emotion so impossible to express by just talking. A universal confirmation for the both of them - ‘we’re together again’.

And there was no ceremony, there was no... acknowledgment in that moment that what they’ve had uptil now had changed at all - they just kept communicating, and untangling. And Laudna follows up with another kiss, almost midway through a sentence - with that same reassuring truth that they were together.

This was so perfect for my experience with them - they’d made such an easy pairing from the get-go, but in the ‘pacing’ that the story had set out, I was beginning to think that it wasn’t going to unfold romantically. I’d made my peace with that, but was still so very appreciative of the bond they had - beyond any classification of friendship or family or whatever - they were so committed to each other. And then this kiss was almost like.... part of that? As if it was never really missing - like they’ve just skipped the ‘romance’, you know? Already on that soul-mate stuff that was so present from the start.

These are the kinds of pairings that really stay with me - the ones I aspire to write about myself. The undying, unquestioning truth of ‘I’ll never leave you’, expressed so purely.

And I say they skipped the romance, but I still want to acknowledge Marisha’s little jokey aside about her intention to create an unromanceable PC this campaign. A cold, creepy witch woman. And how despite that, everyone - the audience, the cast, and the characters - have all so readily and easily fallen in love with her in some way or another. It speaks to how well she performs Laudna, and also how much Laudna deserves that love. Because while it was an out-of-character comment, the idea of Laudna feeling the same - of having created this haunting idea of herself over the years, of having experienced such pain and exclusion, and still shining through despite herself, to inspire others to give back all the love she puts forward. For all the ways that she sees herself as broken, and undeserving, there’s Imogen, to show her that isn’t so.

Then on Imogen’s side, again, that desire to communicate what she’s feeling without words - without thoughts. Imogen doesn’t fully know, can’t know, can’t hear what Laudna has been through, and to have that be both frightening but also freeing - to be separate from everyone and everything, even someone you love, and then to actively and mutually reconnect - to remake that bond.

And there wasn’t need for flowery descriptions, or have it as the ending note of the episode - there wasn’t this intent to focus on ‘oh Laudna’s lips feel clammy at first but then warm to Imogen’s touch,’ or anything. Because it wasn’t what they were focusing on, either. It wasn’t about how it made them feel on that physical level - it was everything else. The kiss was simple, and with its simplicity it brought a million complex feelings into momentary order.

Anyway, it’s late, or early, but just had to write a bit - get some of my own thoughts out of my head.

As I’ve been typing this, I’m reminded of a song - ‘Signal Fire’ by Snow Patrol - it feels right for Imogen & Laudna, I think.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #cr imogen #laudna

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whitneysboii · 10 months

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funniest(but also serious) thoughts i have for dol is just finding a way to get rid of encounters and all that sexual stuff

Because this game is so fucking interesting for a porn game how dare.

What is that tentacle room? Why is the wolf howl going to help? How does Black Alpha(i forgor their name) know and got into the room? Does this mean the room is actually physically present somewhere in the town/forest?

How dod Leighton manage to get to headmaster and no one realise anything about him for so long? Are they all actually aware of it? Do people who got used by him meet up?

Are there any townies who manage to move out? What the hell is up with Ivory Wraith? How did the town even get to normalizing everything?

What happened to Morgan? Does anybody else know Eden other than Bailey? How the hell does Bailey know Eden anyways?

I am so goddamn interested in every character, every part of this town, every little bit of story we get with characters and places it's silly

And perhaps my favourite question of all.

Why the hell does the town not bat a single eye to every single thing that happen but still require you to have an ID to get to the strip club bestie there are worse crimes that could be committed and there are. Very regularly. Townies really said "Your body may be grabbed, but god forbid you watch someone strip under the age of 18."

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Hello, anon! 👋

(I'm not sure if this is the same anon from before, but welcome, regardless!)

Firstly, any links that I post may contain spoilers, so use caution if you're trying to avoid them. Secondly, this post is probably definitely gonna be a long one, so strap in! (And hopefully this answers your questions, or inspires more!)

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I agree and I don't at the same time. (But I wholly agree that's it's too interesting for a porn game and how dare they lmao)

Getting Rid of Encounters / Sexual Aspects Completely?

A lot of the lore and characters that we love so much are based on the frequent encounters around town that they're fully aware are happening, but can't do anything about (partly due to the police literally not caring, and actually being part of the problem rather than the solution; the other part being if they truly want to or are capable of stepping in on PC's behalf or not). Obviously this changes things a bit if we remove the encounters or sexual aspects completely, although we might retain most story lines, quests, and characters if we still have the required ones (the Ivory Wraith* for example, and love interests such as Whitney, Avery, Alex, etc.). *If you're wondering why I included the Ivory Wraith, this has to do with their backstory. You can learn more about that here if you're interested. Again, beware of spoilers. I won't give anything away, but I was totally against the Ivory Wraith until I read that and now I'm just sad. Also, the tentacle room you mention - is it tentacle plains (accessible through the Hookah Parlour, or the mirror in your room at 3am)? I have suspicions that it's tied into the Ivory Wraith's story, but there's no solid evidence yet (aside from the tentacles, purple mist, the portal in the mirror, etc.).

Removing Only Unnecessary Encounters / Sexual Aspects?

If there was an option to toggle between "normal" and "required encounters", that would be ideal for people who want to play, but can't or won't for various reasons (I won't list them, as I'm sure people can draw their own conclusions if they've played this game). It might actually appeal to those who are asexual and/or repulsed by sex in general, too, which would be great for community building. (The only drawback I see are people becoming too aware of this game's existence and kink shaming, bullying, trying to cancel it, etc.) However, Vrel & team have done a wonderful job implementing something that's similar to that idea without removing the "core aspects" of the game (the point being to do whatever you have to in order to survive). Players can set their game mode to "soft mode" and limit their encounter rate, but this disables feats (if you're unsure of what feats are, they're basically achievements that earn you Vrelcoins; you can spend the coins into your next game to make it easier). Note that you can enable cheats at any point, too, though it has the same effects (no feats).

Soft Mode description:

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Black Wolf, The Alpha

As for the wolf howl and Black Wolf the Alpha, I actually haven't played as a wolfie in a while. I'll play through a save file and, should I find anything, I'll tag it here (it'll be under "mine", so it should be easier to find). I didn't know they could get into the tentacle room, so that's really interesting to know. Again, that makes me wonder if it has to do with the Ivory Wraith, although I'm not sure how Black Wolf would have gotten in if it does; the Wraith isn't specifically land-based as Black Wolf would be, so it's a bit strange. (Also, please send another ask if you find out anything - I love learning more about this game!)

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The Headmaster

Leighton is definitely hiding something, but I can't quite put a finger on it. I want to know who they're taking the pictures for, since they can easily go to the brothel (and do so regularly) and probably pick up any of the students there, too; there doesn't really seem to be a need for the pictures, at least not for Leighton. So, the next thing that comes to mind is that perhaps Leighton is selling them to someone underground. Someone who might have the upper hand within the school board, or maybe the town (Quinn the Mayor comes to mind, but I don't know enough about them to think they would be tied into that; however, there is an email about some sort of "sin" they committed and presumably "already paid for", but that comes into play with Bailey and has no mention of Leighton - both of them have positions of authority over students and/or (18+) "children", though, so maybe it's not so far fetched?). I don't think that the people who were used by Leighton meet up - however, it would be a unique quest line to follow. It could end with them being arrested (even if the PC has no involvement with the Landry & Mickey quest line, or it could occur after; could be a timed event), and Sirris, Doren, or one of the other teachers get promoted in Leighton's place for their hard work. Although, since Sirris has the Adult Shop and Winter runs the Museum, chances are that it would go to somebody else (i.e. Mason, Doren, or River). Honestly, I would prefer Doren, honestly, as they seem to be somebody that even Whitney hesitates around, so that would create a different kind of dynamic.

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Morgan, Eden, & Bailey

Not much is known about Morgan. I have a theory about their child, however, which is probably not anything new for this community. I'll pitch it anyway, because I personally haven't seen it posted anywhere. This is what the Miraheze blog states (which is not official as far as I know, but it does work and is accurate for most situations):

Morgan, upon meeting PC, calls them "Charles" or "Charlene." The dance teacher on Barb Street is named Charlie, which is a unisex nickname for the other two names above. I'm not sure what could have happened between the two of them, but something horrible must have left Morgan deranged in the sewers and Charlie on the surface, who potentially grew up by themselves. For all Morgan knows, or at least the PC, their child has/had passed away; if they were deranged before they lost Charlie, that would explain a lot, as they might not have been mentally stable (perhaps how they ended up in the sewers to begin with). If Morgan became that way after they fell into the sewer, they could be dealing with high trauma, severe hallucinations, and/or low control from multiple encounters (like what happens with PC).

• ┈ • • ✦ ✦ ✦ • • ┈ •

Eden probably wouldn't know Morgan since they pretty much never leave the Forest. They also probably don't know most of the other named NPCs (Whitney, Avery, Robin, Great Hawk, etc.) for the same reason. However, everyone there seems to know Bailey, regardless of where they've come from or been - Bailey has their hands in the pockets of nearly everyone in that town. Eden might know Bailey from buying the PC (to repay their debts), but there's a possibility they'd know one another outside of that. After all, Eden is a hunter - they face the things in the Forest that no one else dares to. This means that they probably come into town to sell the meat, fur, bones, and other bits of the wolves that try to attack them. Also, deer, foxes, and bears are shown to be out there, too, among other creatures (lizard-like beings in particular). Bailey may have found them at a butcher shop, grocery store, or a similar location (maybe even Connudatus Street, at the stalls), trying to sell their wares. Maybe they decided to cut a deal together, something where Bailey offered his "goods", too; a nice, new play toy for Eden and, in exchange, freshly caught food for the orphans.

• ┈ • • ✦ ✦ ✦ • • ┈ •

As for if anyone else would know Eden (outside of Bailey), there seems to be one other person. If you're dating Eden, then they'll come looking for you at Remy's (here's the farm scene, in case you want to read through it). It's unclear whether they know one another before Eden comes searching for the PC, however, so there's no solid evidence for either side yet.

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Misc. Questions

Are there townies that manage(d) to move out? While I don't know specifics, I think that there are a few people lucky enough to do so. Everybody talks about being "stuck in [this] town", but I think that Avery, for example, could totally leave if he wanted to. Maybe he doesn't for business reasons, or maybe the PC is his last reason for staying in town (could explain why he gets so angry when PC disobeys, because all he might want is someone to feel less lonely in this pitiful pit of a town, and he just needs one thing to go right and go his way for once). If you're someone like Robin, however, then you might be stuck there for a long time, assuming you do manage to find a way to leave. How did the town even get to normalizing everything? This is interesting to me because this had to have happened over several years, where it just became something that happened so frequently that people began to overlook it; we know this has been occurring since before the "Ivory Wraith" became known as that - so, at least since year 361. It may not have been something that happened often during that time, but it's probably been building up as people moved to or had families in the town. This might have been furthered by previous authority figures, such as other mayors, police forces, etc. I'd also suggest that Quinn might be involved, but it seems as though they'd rather scrub the town's image than let it be ruined (as it already seems to be, evidenced by PC getting asked about the town's rep while they work at the cafe); if they're not actively helping people get away from that, then they're allowing it to happen by not doing anything about it. Why does the town not bat an eye at everything else, but requires you to have an ID to enter the strip club? I've been wondering the same exact thing since I first started playing. I understand that the characters all have to be 18+ (for legal reasons, but also because... well... it would be weird if they weren't?), but I don't understand how you have to have an ID to get in considering there are other ways to "bend the rules." I'd love a side scene where you're forced to help Whitney + friends into the strip club (also maybe he makes you get on an empty stage and dance for him js), or maybe you run into Darryl at one of the parties that Charlie sends you to dance at. Either way, this offers different options for Darryl to see your potential; they could offer you a bar tending job first, then have you dance on the weekends for smaller crowds (of course, they'd have you perform more the better your dancing skills are).

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fanficshiddles · 7 months

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Necessary Evil, Chapter 5

Note: Mention of suicide.

Sarah was still riding on a high of adrenaline as Sophie was last to confess, then she joined everyone in the crowd. She hugged Sarah tightly and they were both smiling extensively.

‘Weirdly exhilarating, isn’t it?’ Sophie laughed.

‘It sure is.’ Sarah nodded in agreement. ‘I’m glad you’re still here, even if at the time it didn’t feel like you wanted to be saved, I’m glad your friend found you in time.’ She said softly as she gave Sophie another hug.

‘Thanks… It feels good to have finally shared it, aside from my friend, no one else knew about the attempt. If my parents ever find out though, they’d be broken.’ Sophie sighed, it felt like a weight was off her shoulders. She had tried to commit suicide when she was fifteen, thankfully a friend found her in time and got her to the hospital.

There was two people that had decided not to do it. Molly was one of them, who even after seeing Sarah and the others confess, she still couldn’t do it. Sarah wasn’t sure where she disappeared to, along with another girl who, while she did confess, didn’t trust everyone enough to catch her when she fell. So, Loki wouldn’t allow her to join, for her untrust. Sarah just assumed they’d been chucked out of the building and didn’t give them another thought.

‘I was a little worried that I was over-sharing, a bit extreme.’ Sarah said sheepishly to Matt and Hanna after everyone was told to enjoy the party by Loki.

‘Not at all. I hit a dog by accident with my car a few years ago, I was in such a panic I just drove off and left it… I heard later that it passed away. I felt awful, but sharing with everyone here helped me to get over it.’ Hanna shared.

‘I had anger issues when I was younger, I was ashamed that I had beat up my then girlfriend. I did get therapy to help get through my anger, but I’m not ashamed anymore. Loki and everyone here forgave me, and it’s helped me to move on. Helped me to realise that I can’t help who I am, but I can work on bettering myself.’ Matt said.

‘Jen had a baby about four years ago, but couldn’t cope so abandoned the baby outside of a hospital. Casey posted nude pictures of her boyfriend online after a nasty breakup, causing him to lose his job… What I’m trying to say is, that we all have something we were ashamed of, but it’s ok because we are only human. We make mistakes, it’s what we do in the present and the future that counts. And being around the right people.’ Hanna said.

Sarah nodded, she was surprised hearing these stories, but felt really accepted and that she might just have found where she belongs. ‘I never thought I’d be able to share my story with anyone, but it just kind of felt… right.’

‘That’s how you know you’re meant to be here, with us. As one of the family.’ Loki had sneaked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, giving her a squeeze as he spoke, making her jump slightly but she relaxed when she realised who it was, though her heart did flutter a little from his closeness.

‘Is there anything you need us to do tonight, Loki?’ Matt asked him.

‘No, not at all. I just want everyone to enjoy themselves tonight, get to know our new family.’ Loki smiled as he moved to stand next to Sarah.

‘I’ll drink to that!’ Hanna cheered and held up her drink.

Loki chuckled and turned to Sarah. ‘I see your cup is empty, come on, let’s get you another drink.’ He motioned towards the bar.

Sarah went with Loki to get a drink, getting a funny look and a wink from Sophie as she walked away, Sarah just shook her head at her.

Loki began pouring Sarah a drink, he’d noticed what she was drinking earlier. When he handed the cup to her, he let his fingers brush lightly against hers, making her skin tingle.

‘I was impressed with the way you stepped up earlier to go first. Tell me, did you do it for Molly?’ Loki asked as he began pouring himself his own drink.

‘I uhh… yeah, I felt a little bad for her so thought if I went first, it would help her to see it was ok to do. I’m sorry if that was wrong, if I spoke out of term.’ Sarah said sheepishly.

‘No, no, not at all. I thought it was very brave and kind of you to do, helping out someone in need. I get the feeling, that’s the kind of person you are, someone that goes out of their way to help another?’

Sarah found her cheeks heating up, she wasn’t able to maintain eye contact with him, he was rather intense.

‘Thank you. Yeah, I guess I do like to help people when they need, if I can help, that is.’

‘That’s a good quality to have. However, I am guessing sometimes people take advantage of that?’ Loki asked knowingly.

‘It has happened sometimes. I try and avoid those people now.’ Sarah shrugged.

Loki nodded. ‘There’s a fine line between helping people and making sure they don’t take advantage. If you ever have any issues with anyone here doing that, please come and talk to me. I’d like to think that all of your brothers and sisters won’t do that, but if they do, let me know.’ Loki reached out and squeezed her upper arm.

‘Thank you. I will.’ Sarah smiled.

Andy and Maddie walked over to where Loki and Sarah were.

‘Welcome to the family.’ Andy said to Sarah with a smile.

‘Thank you. I’m glad to be here.’ Sarah grinned widely.

‘Setting fire to your school, must’ve been rather scary?’ Andy asked.

‘I don’t remember being scared, as such. I just remember being really angry. It wasn’t until afterwards that I started to feel guilty and ashamed for what I did.’

‘Ashamed no more, though.’ Loki assured her and she nodded in agreement.

‘Well, it’s not as bad as killing someone. I’m so glad to be over that shame.’ Maddie said in a stuck-up manner.

Loki raised his eyebrow at Maddie. ‘Assisting your terminally ill mother to die, under her own wishes, isn’t quite the same as killing someone in cold blood.’ He corrected her.

Maddie looked down and scratched the back of her head, then she shrugged. ‘Well, I still felt like a murderer for so long, until I found Loki. I owe him everything.’ She said giddily as she gazed up at Loki and fluttered her eyelashes.

Sarah noticed that Loki didn’t seem to take her on at all. He looked at Andy again instead. ‘Did you see Molly and Lisa out?’

‘Yeah, no need to worry about them.’ Andy nodded.

‘Good. Go enjoy the party, I’m just getting to know Sarah here a bit more. I’ll release her to everyone again soon enough.’ He grinned and winked at Sarah, making her cheeks heat up again.

Andy and Maddie looked a little put out, but they took Loki’s hint and wandered off, but not without a glare at Sarah from over Maddie’s shoulder.

‘Has anyone told you that you are adorable when you blush?’ Loki asked Sarah with a grin as he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, making her cheeks turn as red as a tomato.

‘Uh… no… not until now.’ Sarah giggled after getting over the initial surprise of his comment, making Loki laugh.

‘Well, you most certainly are.’ He winked at her.

Sarah found herself incredibly flustered and Loki enjoyed how he was able to make her that way with just a little touch and a nice comment.

‘So, what was your shame? Have you shared with everyone else, too?’ Sarah asked curiously. Even though he was the leader, she still thought he should at least be doing the same as everyone else and sharing his past deeds.

‘I have indeed shared. I did a lot of bad things back home on Asgard, almost killed the King of Asgard, my father. I killed many people from my own true kind, betrayed them. I was incredibly jealous of my brother and did bad things to spite him. Finding you all here, has allowed me to share in my shame and see a way forward from it. It’s a step closer to my curse being broken.’

Sarah just stared at him for a moment, trying to process what he’d told her. It hadn’t exactly been what she was expecting to hear.

‘You still don’t believe that I’m a God, do you?’ Loki smirked and raised an eyebrow.

‘Well… no, not really. I’m sorry, it’s just kind of hard to believe without solid proof.’ Sarah said honestly, she felt a bit bad for not believing him. She hoped that it wouldn’t cause any trouble for her if she didn’t believe him, maybe she should’ve just kept quiet.

He gripped her chin gently and gazed into her eyes, making all of her insides melt, and her knees turned to jelly.

‘Don’t worry, darling. You’ll have proof soon enough.’

#tom hiddleston #loki #loki x ofc #necessary evil #Loki fic

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llliiinnnaaa · 5 months

Text

Reprisal | Chapter Four | Part One

coriolanus snow x gaul oc

Summary: Ten years after the Tenth Hunger Games, Coriolanus Snow is under Dr. Volumnia Gaul’s wing as a Gamemaker alongside her niece. Unbeknownst to either of them, they’re both being prepared for a much greater task.

Warning: This story will contain explicit violence against adults and children alike (I mean, it’s Dr. Gaul AND Snow) as well as explicit language, and sexual situations.

***This fic is in no way, shape, or form, me endorsing or co-signing the horrific shit Snow does, nor am I trying to romanticize it. Also, apathy and will be the main driving force of any remnants of a relationship between my OC and Snow’s character. So if you’re interested in something very romantic and fluffy…it’s not gonna be this.

Enjoy!

One Month Earlier

Sleepy brown eyes open slowly, nearly widening at the sight of the man asleep next to her.

Bits and pieces from the night come back to her in a blur before her face heats up at the realization that they’re both very much naked.

She’s got the soft duvet from his bed covering her, she glances at him and blushes, looking away immediately before gently putting a good bit of covers over him.

She doesn’t want to wake him or disturb him, their day yesterday having been exhausting.

He needed the rest.

Brown eyes carefully study the sleeping features of the infamous Coriolanus Snow.

He doesn’t seem as stoic or iron-fisted when he sleeps, not as impatient or dismissive.

Though she had learned through the weekend that he wasn’t always so stoic.

In fact, the motivation for her kissing him in the first place was the wide grin on his plush lips, it made the corners of his icy blue eyes crinkle, and the laugh that followed…she had kissed him first, but he’d chased after her lips when she went to pull away.

It’s how they ended up in the floor the morning before, tangled up, spent, and hungover.

But yesterday evening there were no drinks to blame their actions on, nor coax him to grin and smile and laugh as he had when he was drunk.

No, all his smiles and chuckles were a result of her.

Part of her didn’t expect him to even enjoy sex.

He always came across too strict to find pleasure in anything other than giving her headaches over work.

She learned quickly that liquor wasn’t the only thing that made him grin or laugh.

Her fingertips run along the heavy gold of his wedding band where it rests on his finger, she’s sure the shape of it is probably indented into her skin on her throat or her thighs from where he gripped onto her while she pleaded with him.

One moment she would beg for him to stop, that it was too much, then the next she was begging him not to stop, that it was so good.

And it was.

Part of her is tempted to ask him where he learned how to fuck, because she couldn’t imagine any hoity toity Capitol big-shots doing the things he did — not even her husband did the things he did.

She didn’t even know if Dyess knew how to do some of those things.

Coriolanus Snow was excellent at disguising his filth, she knew that, now, and had added it to the mental list of things he was good at.

Those sharp clothes and styled curls, scent of roses following after him, perfect etiquette and manners, composure…it was all thrown aside, replaced with a greedy man that enjoyed watching desperate and hungry tears stream across her face as he finished himself down her throat, a lazy smile painting his relaxed features at the feeling, long fingers pulling from her hair while he hoarsely whispered, “Good girl,” before eyeing her like his prey and returning the favor, devouring her until she saw stars.

That was something else that took Tawny by surprise.

He enjoyed her enjoyment.

It was surely all a rush for his ego, a boost of confidence, to see the sparkle of her big diamond wedding ring — the physical embodiment of her commitment and loyalty to Dyess Crane — as she wrapped her fingers around Coriolanus’ length, or touched herself whilst wantonly moaning out his name.

His eyes would light up upon the little noises that would escape her throat, every little tremor that would run up her spine, every sharp intake of breath, every whimper and whine, every tear.

He would taunt her, “does that feel good?” to which she would nod fervently, unable to form words, too fucked out on the harsh and deep strokes he knew would have her wailing like a bitch in heat, while he drank up the sight of her.

Asleep, he’s a different man.

A peaceful man.

The peace is interrupted by the abrupt ring of the telephone on the nightstand next to her.

He awakens with a heavy breath, eyes still shut as he reaches over her and fumbles for the phone before he answers, “Snow residence.”

She can tell by the expression on his face and the girly voice she can hear every now and then that it’s his wife.

If she had any sense she would take it as her queue to slither from under him, get out of the bed, and start getting dressed.

Instead she selfishly takes advantage of his exposed neck, pressing her lips to the skin there.

“Okay, darling, that’s alright.” He assures Livia sweetly, keeping his thoughts as narrow as possible.

She talks a moment more.

“I can’t wait to see them.” He says, next, falling back to the mattress in an attempt to shake Tawny off of him.

She is now just the woman he sees when he’s bored.

“Okay, I’ll see you tonight. I love you, too.” He says it softly, sweetly.

Tawny nearly smiles at the words, sounding so innocent from him.

“Bye, darling.” He finishes.

He hands Tawny the phone, a single finger over his lips, telling her to keep quiet, and she reaches over and puts the phone back on the hook.

“Don’t do that again.” He states, referring to her kissing him while he was on the phone with his wife.

“Do you really love her?” It’s not sarcastic or smug, nothing used as a way of bragging about their predicament.

He knows her intent isn’t to ask, “if you truly loved her, you wouldn’t be here with me, right?”

She’s genuinely asking him if he loves his wife.

“As best I can, I suppose.” He replies, honestly, watching as she scoots closer to him, reaching for his hands. “What about you? Do you love Dyess?”

“As best I can, I suppose.” She mirrors his answer, understanding what he means. “Next month is our anniversary. Fourteen years.”

His brows sink slightly realizing an insignificant commonality between them.

“I got married at twenty, too.” He mumbles.

“Yeah?” She smiles at the thought of a younger Snow, bright eyed and bushy-tailed, marrying Livia Cardew with the hope of a successful marriage. “I wish I wouldn’t have married that young.” She confesses, twisting his wedding band around his finger.

“Why do you say that?”

He didn’t mind getting married as young as he did — he knew some people married a lot younger than that, especially in the districts.

Twenty was a good age for him to find a partner and settle down.

It helped to mature him to his peers, make him look like he had things more put together and in line.

“We got married because I got pregnant.” She whispers, gauging his reaction.

He doesn’t have much of one to express other than a casual, “Oh.”

A few days ago he might’ve been somewhat surprised by the scandal, especially since she’s Dr. Gaul’s niece and should have had a clean record of responsible decisions, but all his mind can think of is her on top of him, his hands having groped her bouncing chest as she begged him to finish in her, deliberately tightening around him to the point he almost couldn’t move in her.

He had nearly thrown her off of him, scolding her for being so reckless, that neither of them could afford to get caught.

No, her confession doesn’t surprise him in the least.

“What happened?” He asks it, now, unaware that she had a child to begin with.

He had never heard her talk about it.

There weren’t any family pictures or scribbled drawings created by little hands, hanging proudly in her office like many of their colleagues with children…though, he supposes, this child she speaks of is thirteen by now.

That might explain the lack of elementary scribbles pasted in her office.

He can see reality settling on her features, dropping his hand and sitting up as she murmurs, “I better go.”

It was clear she wanted to avoid that conversation, so he let it be, watching as she sits up, turning to look at him over her shoulder.

“Can you not look?” She asks him shyly.

It almost makes him laugh, but he closes his eyes, giving her time to gather her clothes and step to the bathroom.

Once she gets out, she’s dressed in her work clothes she wore to meet him on Friday.

It’s Sunday now.

He tugs his pants on, quickly following after her as she heads for the front door, pulling her heels on.

“Dr. Crane,” He stops her, grabbing her hand, “I wouldn’t want this to interfere with either of our future opportunities…”

“…I won’t tell a soul.” She whispers it surely, preferring not to let anyone know she’s in Coriolanus Snow’s pocket when she’s not in her husband’s. “I promise.” It’s added gently, earning a nod from him as he drops her hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Mr. Snow.”

Dr. Crane.

Mr. Snow .

It feels somewhat forbidden to address one another so professionally after spending the weekend together as they have.

But it also acts as a reassurance that things won’t change between them.

“See you tomorrow.”

Livia Snow now fumbles with her diamond bracelet wrapped around her wrist, awaiting the door to be answered as she, her husband, and his cousin, Tigris, stand patiently.

“How long does it take to answer a door?” He mumbles, glancing at his watch.

“You wanted to arrive almost thirty minutes early, Coriolanus, so you need to be nice and understand that they might be a bit busy at the moment.” Tigris says calmly, nudging him gently with her elbow before politely knocking again.

“Coming!” Tawny shoves the triangle shaped diamond the size of a quarter into her ear, heels clicking on the dark marbled floor.

The door swings open, her darkly lined eyes widening as she wishes she would have looked through the peephole beforehand.

She had fully expected the Plinths to arrive thirty minutes early, not the Snows.

“Sorry, we’re a bit early, Dr. Crane.” Tigris apologizes, glancing over Tawny’s attire for the evening with shimmering eyes of adoration.

Coriolanus has to keep himself from also glancing over it, instead extending the gift Livia had preferred for him to carry while she carried the crystal vase of lush white roses.

“These are for you and Dr. Crane.” Snow pipes.

“Thank you so much. You didn’t have to do that.” She says truthfully, her hand that’s covered by a silkie black glove that goes above her elbow, reaches out and accepts the gift and the flowers, stepping aside to let them in as she pipes, “Please, come in. Dinner is not yet ready, but Dyess is in the parlor swimming in dark liquor with my father while I’m hiding from my mother. So, feel free to also do either one of those.” She adds quietly, earning a small snicker from Livia until Tawny turns her back to them, in which Snow’s wife then shoots Coriolanus a look that screams, “what have we gotten ourselves into?”

Following his cousin’s advice, it’s now him that’s giving his wife a, “be nice,” look, glancing around the apartment.

He’d only been once, when Dyess was away.

He locks those memories away to avoid making himself miserable.

“Do you need help with anything, Dr. Crane?” Tigris offers, to which Tawny replies, “Please, Tigris, it’s Tawny — and no, thank you.”

It’s when Livia is looking over Tawny’s collection of finely painted porcelain plates on display in the hutch right outside her parlor that Coriolanus steals a glance over at Tawny.

Dark, waved hair parted more to the side than usual, the thinner side of the part pinned behind her ear to show off the big diamond Dyess had bought her.

Her top was strapless, fitted around her chest and slightly more flowy along her abdomen, stopping above her hips before pants of the same material kept her covered down to her heeled feet.

She feels his eyes on her, looking at him in a moment of lost resolve before she’s turning her back to him to grab the wine glasses from the cupboard, showing the smooth skin of exposed shoulder blades, and top half of her spine.

Tigris notices him noticing Tawny, and he looks at his cousin and immediately turns back to his wife who hasn’t any idea the exchange had taken place.

Furrowing blonde brows, Tigris glances once more at Tawny, then back to Coriolanus who’s now whispering with Livia.

“Tawny?!” Her mother’s voice echos in the apartment, Coriolanus and Livia looking in the direction of her voice.

“Yes, mother?” Tawny’s voice stresses the word passive aggressively as she ducks behind Tigris’ tall frame.

“Are the Plinths here?!”

“No, mother, not yet!” Tawny shouts back, irritation getting the best of her.

“Tawny, don’t shout at your mother!” Dyess loudly scolds her.

“Why don’t you just stay in the parlor and keep throwing them back, dear?!” She hollers back.

Livia’s eyes bulge at their bickering in front of company before Dyess is nearly running into her, barreling out of the parlor, whiskey in hand.

The expression on his face lets their company know that he hadn’t realized they’d come in.

Immediately his frustrated look fades to a smile, extending his hand to Livia as he pipes, “Dr. Snow, it’s good to see you.”

“You, too, Dr. Crane, thank you for inviting us.” She politely replies, Dyess’ dark blue hues twitching every slightly, confirming to Coriolanus that he didn’t invite them.

Tawny had thought that up all on her own – and judging by their fighting, he isn’t happy they were invited…he isn’t happy Coriolanus was invited, in particular, he can see that when Dyess looks at him and grits out, “Mr. Snow.”

“Dr. Crane.”

Perhaps a handshake would be appropriate, polite…but it doesn’t occur from either man.

“Would you like a drink?” He asks.

“No, not tonight, thank you.” Snow says, smiling tightly. “I wouldn’t particularly enjoy being sloppy and embarrassing my wife.”

Anyone else would take it as Coriolanus making a joke about himself being a cheap drunk, but Dyess knows he meant it as a dig toward him.

“That’s a wise thought.” A man who looks identical to Dr. Gaul breaks their interaction, outstretching his hand to Coriolanus. “Tiberius Gaul. How do you do?”

“Coriolanus Snow, and well, sir.” Snow shakes his hand. “Dr. Gaul’s brother, I presume?”

Tawny stops what she’s doing when she hears Coriolanus ask the question, her eyes finding Tigris’ as she asks, “Is my father speaking to your cousin?”

“Twin brother, actually.” Tiberius nods, grinning. “You’re General Crassus Snow’s boy Strabo brags on just about any chance he gets.” He adds.

Coriolanus puffs his chest up at the mention of it before he rests his hand at the small of Livia’s back, stating, “Mr. Gaul, this is my wife, Livia.”

“Hello, Mr. Gaul, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” She beams as she always had when meeting someone new.

“Dad,” Tawny’s stepping toward them, gently grasping her father’s arm and pulling him away from Snow, “Can you help me with something in the kitchen real quick?”

“Is dinner ready yet, Tawny?” Her mother’s stepping from the hallway, adorned in a deep green long-sleeved dress that fits to her body and stops at her calf muscles. “I’m famished and I need my wine.”

She has to be at least fifteen years younger than Tiberius, less wrinkled and more lively than what he had expected.

Then her green eyes fall to Coriolanus.

“And who might you be?” She eyes him like a shark circling prey.

It makes him feel violated.

“Coriolanus Snow.” He greets her the same as he had her husband, within milliseconds, Tawny is yanking her away from him before he can even introduce her to his wife.

“Mother, I need help in the kitchen.” Tawny drags her while the woman pipes, “I’m Minerva, it’s lovely to meet you!”

Tiberius has now struck up conversation with Tigris, though Tawny doesn’t mind her father speaking to Tigris, she just hadn’t wanted him to relive his glory days serving under Crassus Snow during the war, and take the late head of the Snow household’s son down that memory lane.

She didn’t know how well that would bode with Coriolanus.

“You know, if you would get Avoxes, Tawny, you wouldn’t be running late. You’d have more help.” Minerva informs her for the umpteenth time since this one visit.

“I don’t want them in my house.” She hisses back. “Dyess?!”

“Yes?” He calls back, moving between Snow and Livia to step to the kitchen.

“Is this finished?” She asks him, opening the oven.

“I don’t know, Tawny.” He huffs, eyeing the roast.

“Um…” Tigris takes it upon herself to grab the oven mit on the counter and lean down, pulling the rack out of the oven.

“Here.” Tawny hands her a pair of tongs, to which she presses on the highest point of the roast and presses down a few times.

“It’s about medium, now, Tawny.” The blonde informs her.

“Oh, please, take it out. We’ll already lose teeth trying to bite into that thing.” Minerva grumbles.

“It’s okay to take out, Tigris. Thank you very much.” Tawny ignores her mother as Tigris lays the dish on the hotpad on the counter.

“Steak would have been more appropriate, as well. We aren’t in the Dark Days anymore.” Her mother continues as Dyess nods out a, “I told her and she didn’t listen, Mrs. Gaul.”

“Mini, roast is just fine.” Tawny’s father reigns his wife in, glancing at Dyess dismissively.

“Coriolanus and I prefer roast to Steak, anyway.” Tigris assures her. “I’m certain the Plinths won’t mind it, either.”

“The Plinths can kick rocks.” Tawny says under her breath, grabbing the stack of plates to go set the table.

“I can help with something,” Livia surprisingly offers, she and Coriolanus having made their way to the kitchen to join everyone else.

“The wine.” Minerva volunteers her, grabbing the corkscrew from the drawer.

Tawny leaves them, letting out a heavy breath in the peace of the dining room, a beat later, Snow joins her, his cousin’s eyes following after him as he follows after Tawny.

“Can I do something?” Coriolanus’ low voice doesn’t startle Tawny, her lips rubbing together upon hearing it.

“You can stop looking at me.” She replies, raising her brows.

“Looking at you?” He asks.

“Like you’ve seen me without clothes.” She states, saying it so quietly it’s nearly mouthed. “We said we wouldn’t do this anymore.”

“Me looking at you does not equate to me bending you over the table.” He says in the same quiet tone, arguing.

“It makes me feel all the same so just stop .” It’s a flustered confession as she lays a plate down, a confession that has his jaw clenching momentarily.

He wonders if she’s going to screw Dyess tonight while thinking of him, or if she’ll outright forgo Dyess altogether and bring herself pleasure with Coriolanus’ name on her soft lips.

“Snow.” She gripes through her teeth, her skin prickling under his intense, smug eyes.

A knock at the door pulls their sight from one another, she shoves the plates into his chest as she mutters, “That’s your family,” and goes to answer the front door.

#coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow x gaul oc #coriolanus snow x oc #coriolanus snow smut #young!coriolanus snow

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polyamzeal · 5 months

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I don't know where I'm going with this, I think I just need to get it off my chest.

I'm a woman in a great, loving relationship with a man. However, I am also queer and would love to have more no-strings-attached sex with other women. Like, I'm not looking for a girlfriend or committed partner, but FWB would be nice, you know? Or, like, someone's booty call? That's not an unreasonable thing to want and *be open* with wanting, right?

But it's like, no matter how open I am about the fact that my husband would *not* be part of this (aside from like a quick convo so he can veto it if he's too uncomfortable for any reason), I get yelled at for being a unicorn hunter. I get banned from apps for being a unicorn hunter. I get underhanded insults about unicorn hunters in irl spaces. I get friends not wanting to be friends because I'm a unicorn hunter, even though I never hit on them at all. On top of that (and yes, I'm not a fan of this either, but it is what it is), my husband has a one-penis policy, so I get shamed and ridiculed for wanting to respect my husband's wishes, too. I don't want to be restricted to cis women only and I see how it sucks, but it feels kind of unfair that I get shit for respecting someone else's boundaries.

I guess I just wish people wouldn't act as if I'm trying to set them up with my husband when I'm not. When I'm specifically looking for things I don't get in my relationship and I openly state that aside from just saying hi to him once, they literally do not ever have to even be in the same room again. But nope, all I get is "unicorn hunter kys". The funny thing is that he finds women to sleep with just fine without ever getting these reactions, even when he mentions me. Hell, even when those women meet me, he's never accused of the same thing.

It sucks. I kind of wish my husband could just get over his fear of other people's genitals so I could just exclude cis women since that seems to be the major issue, but it's not fair to demand that he shifts his boundaries for my benefit so here we are. I guess I'm just asking this - am I really doing something reprehensible and unforgivable here? Am I just the perfect example of the cringe space-invading loser in a one-penis policy het relationship giving every polyam person a bad name by wanting to fuck a woman every now and then? Am I the stereotype of everything you shouldn't be? I've given up on all of this already and accepted that my husband gets the adventures and I don't, but I guess I just want a post-mortem on how much I fucked up here.

I swear I already answered this but it is in my inbox and I can't find a record of answer it so I am just going to blame Tumblr.

You are not doing anything wrong. I think the most important thing is just being upfront and honest about what you are looking for. Be clear and direct with people. If they insist on making up their own assumptions and accusations then their loss.

That being said, I do think your husband's OPP is quite troublesome. I don't know if I would phrase it as "respecting his boundary." I feel like a boundary would be more like "He doesn't want you to sleep with other penis-havers so if you do then he withdraws his consent to have sex with you until a week after you stop having sex with other penis-havers" or something like that where you can decide what you want to do and if it is worth it for you but how he reacts is on him. This just sounds more outright like 'rule' rather than a 'boundary'. Perhaps it is all semantics though.

Putting all that aside, I would say just be patient as you try to find woman that understand your situration. And are willing to trust you to work with your needs.

#polyamzeal answers #anon ask #polyamory #polyam #nonmonogamy

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generic-anime-boy-bracket · 4 hours

Text

Round 2, Group A: Matchup 1

Ayin vs Kim Dokja

Reasons for being generic + Propaganda below

Ayin

Reasons:

Generic face, generic black hair. He did commit a lot of crimes but he has the most bland appearance of all time

he is the generic anime boy in the grip meme and he has black hair and yellow eyes but he's so apathetic and normal it causes him to turn away from all the people he committed atrocities against

Designed as a mock of the "everyman" - scruffy black hair, black suit, white labcoat. Only thing that stands out are his yellow eyes.

Kim Dokja

Reasons:

Everything about him screams generic. Generic hair generic face generic eyes (dare I say: generic name). Multiple times in the story he tried to pass himself off as one of his (much handsome-r) companions and everyone is like. Hmmmm I'm not too sure about that. I've heard he's a lot more handsome and you're kind of mid. There's practically a running gag wherein his closest companions say something like "wow kdj has anyone ever told you that you're ugly"

Chapter one he tells us that he’s an ordinary salary worker with no friends whose most interesting hobby is reading webnovels on the subway. This hobby proves to be useful thanks to the entire plot of the story but there is a running gag that people think he looks mid or can’t remember what he looks like at all

Propaganda:

"Hi my name is Kim Dokja :) no there isn't anything weird or off-putting about me :) I am a perfectly normal man :)" <- real quote from Kim Dokja seconds before doing something weird and off-putting Jokes aside he is. Very very generic. It's an actual element in the plot that he's generic. He also keeps trying to convince everyone else he's just some normal dude but he's NOT and they DO NOT BELIEVE HIM He also keeps trying to pass himself off as his much more handsome companion and it only works because they've never seen him before (there's at least three paragraphs every time this happens of "hm no I heard YJH is really handsome. This guy is kind of ugly ngl")

#generic anime boy bracket #tumblr tournament #ayin lobcorp #ayin lobotomy corporation #lobotomy corporation #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #kim dokja

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markantonys · 6 months

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I haven’t read the books but I do know what they have done with Moiraine and Siuan’s relationship is way more than it was in the books. On the one hand they developed it fully, have given them a very clear and deep 20 year relationship. And on the other hand, they also destroyed it fully by the end of season 2. Where do you think they are taking this? Will they stick to the books and give them their other relationships or will they weave them back together. It’s anyone’s guess but am interested to hear what yours is. I like the theory that their fallout was preplanned and part of the reason the episode was called daes daemar. But me liking something does not equal logic and fact to be sure

imo there's 0 chance that either of them will have their book relationships, that's just not happening and i find it a little silly when people (not you! but i've seen others doing it) immediately panic and think the show broke them up for that purpose haha of course i can understand why people are worried and upset! but it feels so SO unlikely that either character would ever have a romance with anyone but each other in the show, so that is one worry i think it's pretty safe to set aside altogether. (for time constraint reasons if nothing else; giving moiraine and/or siuan a brand-new love interest and having to develop that relationship would be far from the best use of the show's limited time. plus, i remember rafe outright called moiraine a lesbian in an interview once, so i highly doubt he's got plans for her, at least, to have a male love interest at any point.)

this got a little long so putting a read more!

personally i don't buy the preplanned fallout theory because i think the waygate scene doesn't work with it. if their goal was to make rand trust moiraine, then they accomplished that with their scene in the throne room; there was no need for siuan to chase them down to the waygate, she could've just let them leave if she was in on moiraine's plan here. the only time this theory felt plausible to me is when someone suggested they were in on it together UP UNTIL siuan saw moiraine channeling after moiraine had told her she was stilled, and so everything before that point was an act but everything after was genuine. but even then, it's tricky to explain why siuan would have even chased them to the waygate in the first place - unless she just wanted to make sure they got away successfully and/or wanted leane & co to think she made an effort to stop them, but then catching moiraine in an apparent lie made her change her mind and actually try to stop them? but yeah, imo there's no way the waygate scene was not genuine, but it's possible (but still unlikely; again imo) that the scenes before it were part of a scheme.

and to me, that's okay! to me, as a queer person myself (but ofc i'm just speaking for myself, not for All Queer People), giving queer characters and queer relationships the same narrative weight as het ones also means letting them be flawed and have conflict, rather than keeping them up on a pedestal of perfection and ultimately relegating them to the background of the story because you won't let them face obstacles or develop. i understand why others don't feel that way and were upset by the way things went down in 2x07, but that's just my personal feeling and that's why i personally wasn't bothered to see siuan and moiraine have major conflict here (especially since, unlike the Queer Traumaporn in so much media, this conflict had nothing to do with them being queer - it just felt like a natural conflict that arose from the two characters' specific personalities and life circumstances, as opposed to feeling like they were being punished by their world or by the narrative for being queer, you know?)

duty is a huge theme of WOT and here we saw how moiraine and siuan are both so committed to duty above absolutely everything else. they are both willing to sacrifice anything for what they each see as the greater good, and here, when they realize they have different ideas* about what best serves the greater good, they sacrifice even their relationship with each other because they feel they have no other choice, because they've spent 20 years training themselves to think that the greater good is more important than their personal happiness. to me it's so beautifully tragic! and to me it felt like the best kind of tragedy, one that's rooted in the specific characterization of the individuals involved and on all the previous choices they've made that built up to make the moment of tragedy an inevitable outcome.

*and both are reasonable and in-character ideas that were set up last season. we saw how in their discussion of "can the prophecies be trusted?" in 1x06 that moiraine is skeptical of tower tradition/protocol because she's been out in the world and largely cut off from the tower for 20 years, whereas siuan tends to trust tower tradition/protocol because she's been in the tower leading it for 20 years. and now in s2, from moiraine's perspective they need to break with tower protocol because the tower is too fractured and they have too many enemies within it, but from siuan's perspective they need to return to tower protocol because they tried going rogue and doing so freed the forsaken and was a huge mistake.

all this being said, i do not by any means think the relationship is 100% dead and over for good. like you say, the show put in work to make their relationship much deeper than it was in the books, and i don't think that was for nothing! i think that siuan in particular has been set up for a really meaty character development arc and that this is only the very beginning for her, and that by the end of the show we'll see the two of them reconcile and come back together. maybe i'm totally wrong and maybe it'll turn out that i shouldn't have given the benefit of the doubt, but as of now i don't feel there's reason to worry the show has completely trashed their relationship for good. but season 3 will be a make-or-break season, so by the end of that, depending on how certain book events play out, we should have a much clearer idea of their long-term plans for siuan and siuaraine!

#again not trying to invalidate anyone's differing feelings on this topic! just sharing my own #anonymous #answered #wot show spoilers #wot book spoilers #(mildly so)

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