#as much as i try to be angry about it

[tagerrkix]

rage.

#welcome to today's episode of “me trying to draw 76 different emotions at once” #rage+grief???sorrow??? anguish????? #hmmmmmmm #definitely pain #and a hint of fear #no but like he's angry but there's sadness underneath you get what i'm saying #the kind of rage caused by something that left you traumatized and you just can't stop thinking about how unfair it was #like “i didn't deserve this nobody deserves this” kind of rage #well anyway #i don't even care about anatomy at this point #just let me see how much i can distort the face and still have it somewhat resemble the character #didn't mean to draw him crying again but my hand slipped oops #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate 3 #astarion fanart

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[ineffectualbookseller]

The way Azirphale is underestimated and practically infantalized by heaven is so closely tied to his femininity and I think we should talk about it more because I just want to shout about how relatable the way he's treated in his workplace is as a woman working in a traditionally male field

It's in all the little niggling comments from your boss about personal things that hold no bearing on your work

and the assumption that what you're doing must be simple if it was assigned to you

your work is trivialized

and you get these the placating smiles when you're told plans and proposals are rejected and passed over

or when your complaints are dismissed

and you get more of the same from upper management

it all feels so frustrating and draining but you're at work so all you can do is take a breathe put on that mask and move on with your day

It is all so deteimental to your emotional well being and textually, so much of this is tied to Aziraphale's softness, his gayness - his femininity

The thing about working in an environment and gives you this feeling - of being simultaneously destrought watching your belief in yourself get chipped away but also just so irate becuase you know you don't deserve it - is how it builds. It sinks under your skin and feeds into this indignant dejection until you can have a moment of release - but Azirphale doesn't get to bitch about it over drinks with friends, he doesn't get a lunch break where he can go for a walk and listen to an angry scandi death metal playlist, he doesn't even get the chance to cry about it in the bathroom for 5 minutes before confronting it again

(And I talked a little bit about it in the tags of this beautiful photoset but this all comes into play whenever Crowley dismisses his plans or calls him an idiot. These are purely emotional reactions; I really don't think Crowley means much by it - he respects Aziraphale's opinion and genuinely thinks he's brilliant - but Crowley is so quick to use this terminology when Aziraphale is making a decision Crowley thinks is wrong and he doesn't know how much this hurts Aziraphale. Just like Aziraphale doesn't understand the true impact the Fall had on Crowley, Crowley doesn't understand the ways heaven has been tearing away at Aziraphale's self worth)

Aziraphale has been facing this constant drip of denigration since before the beginning of time and has never released the pressure valve. At this point, he's a bomb waiting to go off

#(I want to note that I am coming at this from my personal experience as a woman #but I know femme neurodivergent and disabled folks of all genders face these same issues) #along similar lines I have tons of feelings about how often Aziraphale hides his hands when talking to other angels #to hide his stimming #and look I try not to tie everything back to explaning why Aziraphale ended s2 the way he did but apparently I can't #its just the juiciest character moment to me #also thinking about how angry Crowley was at Gabriel when he was treated like this once #granted shut up and die already IS the worst thing Gabriel has said to Aziraphale but if Crowley knew how much of this was going on... #aziraphale #good omens #go2 spoilers #good omens meta #Thanks to folks who responded to my tags on that post because you really motivated me to find these screen caps #and finish this post which has been sitting in my drafts for ages #also sorry so many of gabriels faces are funny I cant help that jon hamm is comedy gold - i refuse to let it undermine my point

[nats-uvi]

Angst time :D👍

You can read my rambling about her in the tags

#listen LisTEN TO Me #hear me OuT #oh is hc time #I read a while ago howw empathetic people tend to feel bad when they feel any angry/“negative emoy #el archivo literalmrnte lo tengo giardafo como “problemas emocionales goes brrrr” xD #how they tend to bottle everything up cause it makes thrm feel shame about how their actions might be seen as “selfish” #despite having VERY good and VALID reasons to justify thrir anger #based on the pilot I think she's pretty meek and also a little bit of a pushover #also I was thinking she'll be pretty self consious and try to mask her emotions the best she can #which obviously is super unhealthy #I think that at some point she's just going to SNAP and is gonna be awful and soo sad and omg I cant wait to see it #give my girl some character development pls #cause as much as I like crybabies characters I also like for thrm to learn how to stand up for themselves #anyway sory if that didnt made sense xDd is just that I have never had so much fun with a fictional character #mi hija fr #el archivo literalmente lo tengo guardado vomo “problemas emocionales goes brrr” xD #ya ahora si los tags serios #tadc fanart #the amazing digital circus #tadc #tadc gangle #gangle

[bitchthefuck1]

It's kind of funny that Kendall and Shiv are both equally delusional about their ability to charm people for business and somehow think they can do it even though they choke almost every single time, whereas it's like the one thing Roman is consistently good at despite being the "least legitimate" option.

I think part of this comes down to the fact that Shiv and Kendall both have very clear ideas of the versions of themselves they're trying to be and the images they're trying to project, and they're trying so hard to be seen that way that they end up coming off as a little desperate and off-putting. Meanwhile Roman "knows" that there's something wrong with him and he's worthless, so he doesn't get sucked into the trap of trying to force people to see his idea of himself and instead molds himself into whatever he thinks the other person wants from him because that's the only way he can compensate for "being him," which works very well in the short term but also means he's the least capable of maintaining any relationship for very long because he has no sense of self.

#this was going to be a joke about kendall consistently failing to charm anyone that isn't stewy (and still for some reason thinking he's #good at it) but then i thought about it too hard and started connecting dots #but it is really interesting on a character level to analyze the different ways the siblings act when they're trying to win someone over #kendall and shiv will try to find common ground but they always end up pushing too hard and overplaying their hands because they're #focussing too much on wanting to get the person to take them seriously or see them the way they want to be seen #and roman will test the waters a bit but not say anything definitive until he get the person talking and can see what it is they want #and then just says whatever it is he thinks they want to hear #which also makes a lot of sense with the abuse dynamics since he was the one most likely to actually get hit so the goal is to just make #sure dad never gets angry at you and tell him whatever you need to to avoid that because the consequences will be worse #anyways its 2 am here you go #succession #kendall roy #shiv roy #roman roy

[daily-odile]

if it has not been suggested already and you are okay with drawing it-- maybe Odile teaching Bonnie how to make onigiri??

the duo ever!!

#in stars and time #isat #didn't expect to draw this much for them! aaa i love em #I imagine Bonnie was kinda insistent for the party to take them along. they're angry and sad and lost and they want revenge against the kin #since their only family (and town) is currently frozen the party reluctantly lets them tag along for now #while initially the party was hesitant to bring bonnie along (maybe even planning to entrust them to someone else to keep them safe?) #they always try their best to contribute to the party and soon bonnie grows on them (also they're an amazing cook) #And once they obtained the last orb Odile decides to entrust it to Bonnie #Officially making them a member of their party #maybe that's a little basic but it's ok I just like thinking about found family #isat odile #isat bonnie #might combine more asks if they're similar! Hope that's fine cause I don't think the inbox is ever going to be empty at this rate #day 14 #2 weeks! Nice!

[procrastinationaccount]

Every part of HtN is the best part to reread With Context. But that moment at the very beginning of the book when she almost gets smothered, Gideon's "Good. Good." when she gets her attacker off of her has me curling into a ball on the floor. It just feels weighty to me. She's so fucking worried about her and she's not even trying to to mask it anymore.

#Even at the end of GtN we don't get that many moments of unmitigated concern because she's busy Doing Something About It yk? #I love the fight scenes in HtN so much because they're incredibly written and you get a helpless Gideon fussing over her and admiring her #She's so scared and she's so angry and she's so proud of what she can do at rock bottom and she's so relieved when she comes out on top #Gideon coming back and trying to keep her thumbs on in person is just the icing on the cake. Really really fucking good icing. #the locked tomb spoilers #griddlehark #Tlt spoilers #harrow the ninth my beloved #harrow the ninth spoilers #HtN spoilers #Gideon Nav #harrowhark nonagesimus

[uncanny-tranny]

Passing as a trans man is a nuanced and complex topic, but one thing I have been noticing as somebody who is a cis-passing (white) trans man is the way I'm treated when there is conflict.

I've noticed that in conflict, people are almost meek around me, willing for me to try working with them up until a woman is involved. When a woman (or, really, anybody who the other party assumes is one) is part of the conflict, they direct all their anger and rage to them. It's fucking insane the way a woman is treated when there is conflict, even if it isn't her fucking fault. These people are fundamental cowards for seeing my manhood as the only reason they can't be openly hostile to me, but it reveals a lot about how a misogynist thinks on an almost primal level.

I'm watching the women and people around me I care about being torn apart by people, and that's unacceptable. I can't sit around to watch it, and I don't want to do that. I need other people to perhaps read this and remember to not stand by if there is something that you can tangibly do to help, even if it's to lend a listening ear or let the person vent.

#feminism #misogyny #misogyny tw #before writing this i was worried about my blood pressure because i'm fucking angry #i hate the way cowards will look at me and see a man and be scared of me until they see a woman they feel strong enough to abuse #and i have faced my own experiences with misogyny and abuse now that i have transitioned and am recognized as male... #...like i had NEVER been catcalled until i medically transitioned. and now that i'm much more male i have been catcalled MULTIPLE times... #...which is why this topic is nuanced and complex and i hate this idea that we can bulldoze it down flat to 'make it make sense' #i want to always believe in people but i'm not a fool. i am not willing to stand around and just pretend like this shit doesn't happen #i WATCH this shit happen. i WITNESS it and HEAR it and i try to find some way to help the woman and/or person in question #and i know there's this aspect of white privilege in this where my white manhood is seen as a lesser threat #i can absolutely imaging a Black or otherwise MoC trans person not being given this level of grace from the get-go #i'm angry right now and i hope that my words are making sense. i want to address as much as possible but i'm sure you understand

[fujii-draws]

OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.

#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter. #he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point. #and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!! #hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do! #the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into- #one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT. #but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb. #I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time. #and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances. #and doesn’t want to hear any excuse. #but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment. #NOW. CHAPTER 17. #UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN #Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC. #IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!! #BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’ #WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM. #(​NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.) #and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through. #despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up. #like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him. #that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying. #just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner. #IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD. #and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore. #he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had. #and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT. #<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but. #eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind. #I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags

[faraskyetruther]

can't imagine morgan fey being bothered enough to handle mia's funeral but i can imagine a 17 YEAR OLD maya fey pushing herself to make sure her sister has a perfect funeral while trying to ignore all the trauma and grief of losing a sister and being accused of her murder with only one person truly being in your corner (who she barely knew well enough to fully trust but she had to force herself to trust). and also while still being a fucking child who has been forced by circumstance to grow up when she remains unprepared.

#and also she probably had really complicated feelings about her sister trying to hand that evidence to her because inadvertently it may have #put her in danger but that's already a difficult thing to process let alone when the person is dead and you don't want to be angry at #someone you've just lost #i think so much about maya fey and the inherent trauma of existing as a part of the fey family it makes me ill #aa maya #aa mia #aa #ace attorney #ace attorney headcanon #mia fey #fey clan #maya fey #headcanon #morgan fey #aa fey #thoughts #ace attorney trilogy

[courfee]

So this is it, that's how it ends I guess there's nothing more romantic than dying with your friends

ah yes, the happy soft vibes for the @sillylovesongsfest, you get it... based on the assigned prompted song Till Forever Falls Apart by Ashe and FINNEAS, as well as this

for an even sadder and bloody version look under the cut <33

#enjolras most angelic angry boy furiously heartbroken about hwo things went down #combeferre prettiest man ive ever drawn still trying to protect his friends (covered in blood by the people hes tried to keep alive) #and then there is courfeyrac #nah he is still round and radiant like a centre i guess but he is just cute instead of pretty next to the other two #look this song so very much just screams them but i do have to admit that it is just a little too sad for valentines vibes #so i AM also making a prongsfoot one thats a little less sad because the song also is very them it just breaks my heart in the softest way #Silly Love Songs Fest #enjolras #combeferre #courfeyrac #les amis de l'abc #les mis #les mierables #les amis #les mis fanart #les mis art #barricade boys #mine #my art

[sysig]

Blind side (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Sans #Papyrus #Gaster #Sans closing his good eye every once in a while and keeping his blind eye open - obviously he does so in-game as well so it's a style-match #It's just interesting in the context of him being textually-confirmed blind in Handplates hehe #There's a level of vulnerability there! Not more than closing both eyes around someone - and potentially also distrust! #''I'm baring myself blind right now but /you/ don't need to know that'' - it suits him ♪ #Especially when he does it around Papyrus! Because obviously Papyrus knows about his partial blindness #But when he's trying to be duplicitous - the way he looks at him sidelong with his blind eye when he's trying to lie unsuccessfully ugh <3 #And again-again it being about how much he trusts Papyrus! That he can be a little lazy or spacey and Papyrus will help him! #Also something about his entire right side being impaired - pawing around with his plated hand for something he can't see on that side #The dynamics! Internal and external! Very good like them lots #And then there's Gaster lol ♪ Throw him into the mix I'm sure it won't make a mess at all haha #I guess he's visiting? Just spacing out - he and Sans have a lot on their minds - separately haha #I do love how Sans pushes Gaster to be kind to Papyrus - very deservedly! He wants Papyrus to be happy of course #And he's obviously still angry with Gaster a lot but how might that present itself when Papyrus is Papyrus at Gaster hehe #Even just in that small jokey way of ''you tryin' to step on my turf?'' hehehe #Especially since the comparison wouldn't even come up if he had two functioning eyes hm?? Right Gaster???? Lol #Speaking of that scene and Sans' partial blindness tho ughhughuhg <3 <3 The fact that Sans stands with Gaster to his blind side #It's the vulnerability/distaste/confidence of it all! He's grown up so much it's all right there in how he holds himself #That he either trusts Gaster enough not to attack him - starting to believe him - or that he has enough faith in himself to protect himself #And only looking at him with his peripherals unless he looks directly at him hghhhgh I am Normal about shot composition I swear lol #Also I like how that last panel turned out lol - Sans just appears at the bottom of the steps like how's it going. care to gtfo thx

[babymorte]

my shirt is tetris 😀

#fun fact #i am a tetris god #tetris ms pacman and digdug are the only retro games im baller at #i had a girl come up to me at an arcade a few years ago while I was dominating ms pacman trying to get no1 on the leaderboard #so I could get free drinks for my group #and she asked me if I was actually playing because of how good I was 😂 #apparently her boyfriend was watching me for a while but didn’t wanna ask me to not seem like a creep or mess me up #I had a small crowd form after a while to watch #I was 200pts away from getting 1st on the board and im still angry about it 😤 #that was a fun night though #first time driving by myself cuz our dd got drunk and I don’t really drink #so much wild shit happened that night it seems like a fever dream #it was good though #kiki #snap uploads

[barbieaiden]

when you're the main character's little brother and doomed by the narrative because the author decided that the cult trauma wasn't enough. rip aaron

#ts4 render #aaron #aaron is a curious case as a character because i think in the very first thing i wrote about aiden and sam #aaron was not a nice person he was still in the cult and aiden and aaron never had a good relationship #but aiden still felt guilty about you know. leaving aaron at the cult because aiden still recognizes that aaron is just mimicking their #parents etc etc #then i think i changed it so that aaron and aiden did have a good relationship but aiden did leave aaron at the cult #so then he very understandably feels guilty about that but the thing is aaron is. dead in this version too #so aiden very much feels responsible for aaron's death and he also theorizes that the people in the cult literally killed aaron #which i'm pretty sure wasn't actually the case but aiden's like trying to find someone other than himself to be angry at. you know #and THEN came the versions where aaron does run away with aiden #but now aaron instead dies under aiden's care and their relationship is like pretty complicated before aaron's death #mostly because of aiden's addiction so aiden very much feels responsible for aaron dying. so yeah

[steelycunt]

people talk about them getting back together post-poa but really. i think there is a brief period right after the end of poa but before they’re having sex in the kitchen at grimmauld place where they’re sort of hanging about with other people and remus passingly refers to sirius as his ex boyfriend and sirius gets sooo pissy he is like ???? Pardon. Since when am i your EX boyfriend we didn’t break up??? okay so what i thought you were the traitor we still never actually had that conversation we NEVER broke up?? we did not break up. Well we didn’t do it officially. Well my memory is patchy but I’m sorry I Dont think that happened because I don’t think I would have Liked That. So really actually we’re still boyfriends. If you think of it like that? because we didn’t break up. and remus has to be like sirius. you went to prison for twelve years

#i just think that once sirius got himself together the uhh. getting back together thing would be sort of Automatic in his head #he’s in prison telling the dementors about his boyfriend remus. he’s going #yeah :-) my boyfriend Remus he is soooo cute. i think he’s probably quite angry with me right now :-( #but i still love him soooo much. i wonder if he has a beard do you think he does? i hope he does he’d look soooo sexy. my boyfriend Remus #i just dont think he thought it necessary to have an Are We Boyfriends Again conversation. with time he just assumes they'll get round to #that. so when remus actually calls him his Ex Boyfriend he's like :-( i never agreedto that :-( #anyway. remember when I used to make normal posts like this. i thought i’d try that again #r/s

[craycraybluejay]

yeah yeah you hate me I'm an evil disgusting perverted manwhore we have each other blocked everywhere blah blah but I know you still jerk off to me and I know it makes you hate yourself a bit because you don't have the strength to accept the darker parts of your desire. but you can't help yourself and I take pleasure in the knowledge.

#this pussy makes homosexual men hate themselves !! #this tdick makes you want to kill yourself !! #this wretched and desirous personality has captivated you so !! #pussy change your life like im god~ they always fall in love not my fault~ #im never pickin up when they call~ #<- song lyrics #you want to fuck me so bad it makes you act stupid !! #im genuinely not mad people are generally going to end up hating themselves too much to be chill #but i am having a wild laugh bc this mf who told me i'm a gross freak also told me that he has sex dreams about me regularly #like yeah ok faggot #watch this loser text me in like a year apologizing for being a judgy little bitch begging me to respond LMFAO #thank u next hoe !! #idk its extra liberating to not only decide to be more choosy but also to know they obsessed #how's the vanilla boyfriend taste? can he get you off 7 times in a row? does he make you feel free and hedonistic? #anyway yeah im just being mean here bc its a mood boost i would not say this shit to anyone lmao #trust me bro i am literally the last person to cross the line when i get emotional (usually excited sometimes angry or horny) #ok no im a little prone to excitedly infodumping for 8 hrs but i try not to offend people #making enemies for no reason is a terrible idea