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#apparent to me perhaps it was a very obvious reason
silusvesuius · 3 days
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unleashing the same hellscape i did on my notes app here it's my nelvas thinking dump i wrote just for fun and to keep track of what i view them as up 2 this point. Might change my mind on it later on it has a lot of things written in brackets for no reason . it's like ~2500 words long which isn't much but i think i said everything i've had in my mind for now read it for fun if you like to have fun leik me :) And talvas :) And nelothxP
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retyping what i said in the tags of those last text posts and rearranging those thoughts a bit: in my train of thought that's been going steady since early 2024 i'm almost certain that neloth might see talvas as the epitome of being morally Clean (before that changes because of neloth's influence over him) and generally pure as a person. pure not used in the Pervert way; neloth is just a veeery big fan of talvas having absolutely no backbone and being very docile when it comes to him. which is r expected traits 4 someone if they find themselves under neloth's thumb as an apprentice, but it being written that he isn't at all catty and defiant to his face is cute. all talvas manages to do is shit talk neloth to others and pray neloth doesn't find out he meant the things he said but also can’t help feeling bad about it, even though neloth doesn't and wouldn't care, if he found out. neloth is happy with being an obnoxious & disgusting person. truly.. him growing obsessed with talvas' docile and innocent nature doesn't necessarily have to add up to him wanting to Taint or Ruin him (and if it happens ((it does)) it's not done on purpose, neloth can't hold that much control and power of his actions in that specific department). he encounters difficulties when he realizes he actually wants that Elven Twink.. it's too far gone to fix anything after he's tampered with talvas' patience and stability, and even then he can't be honest with talvas about anything, because he still wants to hold a great deal of power over him (neloth essentials for survival).
Might be the type to just want talvas to magically(haha) think it's okay that his wizard master desires him and expect that energy right back without talvas actually acknowledging it because it'd make neloth feel insanely cringy and embarrassed.. humiliated.. EVEN. but that's just in a deep deep dark corner of his mind, he isn't stupid. when trying to gain 'access' to his apprentice ("*His* apprentice" is also kinda funny way of viewing his mind too. just cause talvas is working as an apprentice under him neloth probably already feels a concerning sense of ownership over him that makes him feel very good) he can't even make the signs of interest be apparent to talvas because he's insanely inept at being Soft and honest for obvious reasons. he can tell what possibly could make talvas warm up to him even after he treats him like shit for eons but there's no way he's bringing himself to do it (change is embarrassing, especially in their formal dynamic, and especially at his age). so it's a half-assed attempt (actually he's trying his hardest🙄) to try and make talvas be (at least) less afraid of him. not that talvas has any other place that we know of that he "Belongs" to, he just sticks with neloth regardless of anything. neloth watching him as he sleeps ensues . Guys what do i do to make my apprentice let me hit because all of the eye contact i do with him while gripping his arm or petting his knee isn't helping. 
if we were to go back to how that spark is ignited in neloth swamp of a heart, brain… idk, it has to be when he realizes talvas' capability of forgiveness and 'Sucking it up' instead of lashing out at neloth after .. anything, but perhaps physical abuse in particular. neloth a 100% has absolutely no problem putting his hands on anyone, especially someone he sees so often, such as talvas. not that talvas really annoys him (his clear and voiced obedience pleases neloth as anyone can tell), but he just doesn't see it as too much of a big deal. the physical mistreatment that happens once in a blue moon isn't intense enough to scare off talvas for sure anyways. neloth is a bitch so all he can so is smack him at the back of the head (talvas finds it very normal) and slap him if he's feeling festive (something talvas finds kinda extreme but not that it happens often. he sometimes feels like he deserves it, or that neloth is warranted to do as he pleases. he tosses around it being justified or pitying himself, though). May be possible that neloth would realize he Like Likes talvas once he slaps him, mayhaps, for the first time, but talvas' immediate reaction to being treated like that is just sadness mixed with feeling shame for tearing up/crying in front of someone he respects *bishoujo sparkles sfx*. talvas is a delicate soul so he can't hold warranted emotions like that for long, and even tho it's expected of him to be making eye contact w/ neloth in a setting like that, he wouldn't be able 2 bring himself to do it because looking at neloth would make him wanna burst out in tears like a weeeee baby. Booo hooo.. talvas is the 19th century (4th era) damsel that runs out of the ball in tears after no young cavalier invited her to dance. watch this bleed into the most awkward and silent week of neloth's entire life because talvas doesn't even really feel like speaking to him or looking at him, but neloth doesn't wanna brute force the usual respectful etiquette out of him cus he thinks that's just gonna make talvas hurl himself down on some rough rocks at the seashore. Good thing talvas is very spineless and forgiving (especially in relation to neloth… i mean.. who r YOU to not forgive him) so that might just last a day or two. the hurt always stays tho. neloth this is why talvas doesn't wanna smash you.. you might've made some conclusions about what elven twink you like but talvas is just even more scared of you now. was your Pervert awakening worth it. and even if we do backflips and jump thru the point where everything is too far gone for either of them to go back, dude is still too afraid to make out with his apprentice. Deserve. but why though because talvas wouldn't refuse. for what reason? we may never know
^^^ this makes me feel like i love seeing characters i reaaaalllly love (elenwen and talvas in this case) as enigmas in situations where they're confronted with something so ""Intimate"". elenwen's stance on this is final tho cause she's a grown ass woman and there's no way you could reshape her brain. ulfric left her mind plane in SHAMBLES. talvas has more right (in the literal sense) to be erratic or inconsistent with his actions. maybe he likes to be desired. Also i strongly believe that talvas has probably never been in love (for any reason rly but it's mostly him not having actual time for it + not seeing it as something that is important to him at that point in his life)… i want neloth to be his first experience with Love so that it ruin his view on it forever. can't get myself to say he'd be in love with neloth at any point though. From his standpoint it really should feel empowering and 'nice' that neloth wants him in many ways (ew).. cause that's a man with status.. power.. ability to do anything rly . talvas is in no condition to be playing mind games with him or anything tho so don't get that idea. he's not strong enough of a person to be Tricking anyone or to be Playing with anyone's feelings. neloth would be immune to that, too. neloth can just kinda tell talvas is too good and … UNTAINTED. talvas wants to see the best in everyone. too bad he genuinely detests you, neloth.. so: he doesn't actually love neloth but wouldn't be happy to see his tombstone either. SO (PART TWO): if you time it right he wouldn't be against getting Freakkkkyyyy with you okay?but no promises
even if @ some point talvas develops indistinct feelings towards neloth cause of neloth's own incessant weird-mild advances it wouldn't have to mean he just likes old men permanently now. actually it kinda does. i can sorta feel it rearranging his braincells and making him unable to normally interact with people in his age range. he probably already had a hard time talking to others in hopes of developing a friendship just cause he's timid but after neloth's nonstop abuse and Accidental romance mind games he morphs into a whole new type of guy. it's hard to notice at first but he'd probably just start to leech off of neloth's prissy and unbearable personality in a natural course of things + neloth is the only person he sees and talks to on the regular pretty much. < this can just be reworded as just the cycle of abuse and whatnot. if he notices an opening in the abilities and Smarts of another person, especially someone his age/younger, he will automatically see them as umm…stupid. and also insult your abilities to your face if he snaps. he strikes me as the type to be afraid to say what he really thinks (another consequence of being glued to neloth all the time when all talvas does is act like he totally respects anything he says) and gets scared if anything slips out his mouth but is proud in letting the "Truth" be known because he already figured out you're a lesser being than him. he's just cloning neloth's verbal abuse braincells though he would never put his hands on someone. his desire to be mean and see himself as superior stems from neloth always disparaging him obviously.. talvas 4 that reason is very self conscious of his abilities and doesn't rly think he's all that useful or talented. his self doubt then would play into how he doesn't know when to believe what others are saying to and about him.. i wanna imagine that talvas is very oblivious to neloth's weirdo status just cause he partly doesn't even want that thought to cross his mind. i bet everyone but him sees it and finds it gross😕 but nobody in the vicinity is strong enough to tell neloth that he should be ashamed LMFAO. if you would try and even hint to talvas that it's happening he'd never take you seriously and just get mad. he's protective of neloth's image more than neloth himself is; not that people knowing neloth has abnormal sodomistic inclinations toward his apprentice would make his public image worse than it already is (everyone already thinks he's weird so it's not shocking at all) but talvas still wouldn't wanna hear it cause he thinks it's just false. maybe he's just ashamed that he's being brought into the whole thing. also because he doesn't wanna face the reality EJI23JRIO32KJ Well talvas when neloth makes an actual move on you don't say that we didn't warn you.. we're all waiting till neloth's status as an obvious apprentice-pervert becomes obvious to you
even if he's willingly ignorant of the fact he still thinks of the 'accusations' a lot when he feels like it. and unknowingly begins feeling even more uncomfortable in neloth's presence. heart starts beating faster and everything. neloth could come up to him meters away and talvas would still cover his mouth in realization and be like "i knew it… the DB told me but i didn't wanna believe it …..😦 so you really do like young men … and you're in love with me ..😨" *Neloth wakes up from this fever dream drenched in sweat* < neloth doesn't want (obvi) talvas to react that way at any point because he himself would just get scared so they'd just be staring at each other wide eyed. but talvas jumping into his advances isn't what he wants either (that'll also scare him). neloth is still relying on talvas' politeness to let him do as he pleases. but it is impossible for talvas to let it slide without questioning anything regardless so🤷‍♀️ take your few Ls and move on. neloth just wants talvas to sit on his lap. wants to spoonfeed him soup. he's so romantic. he also wants to(sniper on rooftop blows my head to bits). neloth is actually a pretty touchy feely person when he's feeling Frisky (=deranged about talvas). I'm certain his favorite part of talvas' body is his legs. talvas has beautiful young man skipping leg day legs. so nothing special at all but neloth wants to touch them lol.. let your master wizard squeeze your calves and he might just be occupied enough like a kid playing with a fidget toy to not abuse you verbally for 3 seconds. as i said befoar neloth is unpleasant with his touch because he doesn't know how to be soft + doesn't even want it to necessarily feel very 'rewarding' as to not pamper talvas. petting talvas kinda turns into a nervous habit for himself and an instrument of some sort of Reassurance 4 talvas when he wants him to know he’s not mad, for example. non-vebal confirmation. talvas still finds it weird but thinks it’s a charm point too. neloth wouldn't even be against touching him familiarly in front of others but only in a "older male figure" ways ex. touching his knee or putting his hand at the back of his neck (talvas sees it as some sort of disciplinary tactic though). physical touch that matches neloth's age and is enough for it to be seen as not necessarily romantic / overtly weird. 
there'ssssss no saving talvas after such a powerful person gets his hands on him. any will to leave would leave HIM either out of fear or out of attachment and neloth wouldn't just let him go (Alive at least) since he knows the things he knows. if talvas were to escape i'm a Truther of him not feeling in place and wanting to go back cause it's the stability that he's used to. but tbh if he encounters neloth on accident anywhere he's gonna start running. I was drinking tea while writing this and started choking on it i just nearly died writing this are youhappy. anyways, nelvas is a never-ending abusive relationship that doesn’t even have High highs, all it has is low lows. neloth always mistreats talvas for any reason but is never genuinely kind from the heart or out of remorse. .. hmm……yeah. I forgot to type this back out from my posts tags > talvas might just start viewing neloth as fuck crazy and demented after he Finally notices at least one molecular sign of gay attention from him . like ‘Oh wow Master Neloth obviously doesn’t get any female attention or anything cus he’s a sick fuck why does he have to search for it from me Can varona take the hit for me 🥺 *sees her dead body being dragged by the DB* hmm i guess not well i’ll figure something out i guess’ (he doesn’t) also the dialogue talvas has with varona after he steals neloth’s book trying to conjure some bs up will always be so cute to me he’s so defensive and afraid of neloth finding out. Him trying to decipher neloth’s handwriting is cute TOO ik their 19th century love letters to each other would go crazy and make sense to anyone but each other but i’m not gonna talk about 19th century girl talvas x neloth rn it’s too much . what ever. i think i’m done thank you i should just go back to drawing them as grecian pottery red figures or smthj Fun stats for you 4 getting to the end: times the word ‘abuse’ is used: 6
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sherlock-is-ace · 4 months
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the-busy-ghost · 1 year
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The utter fury of reading about a character in a Victorian novel who is frankly described as ‘ugly’ and googling them only to find out that absolutely every tv adaptation portrays them as ‘brown haired but otherwise conventionally attractive to the 21st century’
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violetrainbow412-blog · 11 months
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Exchanged clothes [S. R] Bolinus brandaris part. 2
Spencer Reid x fem!reader
word count: 4.6k
part 1
summary: a small act of kindness leads to a rather peculiar confession
A/N: Okaay, some people showed interest in a sequel to this and I thought I'd do it, I hope you like it enough. Oh and we are still with baby Spencer, later I will write about the second and third seasons (and as I progress in the series, lol)
taglist: @the-ginger-draws @skievers @c-m-stuff
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The days passed, the cases continued, and the level of trust in the friendship between you and Reid only grew. Working at The Behavioral Analysis Unit was complicated and exhausting in many ways, which sometimes made you wonder how he managed to put up with all that, because, although you weren’t an old woman, you did have two years more experience compared to him. It's also not like it was your fault that he was a genius and he went to work for the FBI at an extraordinary age. So every time something happened, you were there for him and he was there for you. The whole team really cared about the two of you (and JJ, the third youngest) while still trusting in your abilities to face challenges. And just like in a family, everyone could also notice the existing tension between you and the doctor, because although, at least on your part, the feelings had been there for a long time, they had become more obvious to the rest since of the trip to Miami.
"Good morning" you had greeted part of the team that day, a few weeks after the trip, more energetic than the others would have expected. Neither Hotch nor Gideon were around, for obvious reasons, so it was only when you passed Reid's desk that you stopped, running your hand affectionately through his hair “Hey, Doc.”
"Hello," he responded immediately. Spencer didn't like it when his hair got messy, but he could take it if it was you, just as he could take your constant hugs or the drawings you sometimes made on his hand when you were bored during meetings. Of everything that happened between you, little managed to bother him, almost as if the interactions he avoided with others were something natural with you around.
Although he had stopped wearing his scarf daily, he still wore it at least once a week as a reminder of how special it was to him, and fortunately that day was the chosen one.
“Do we have a case? Or do I just bury my nose in these reports?” you muttered to the others, but they denied "What of that do you say no to?"
"Today they will be documents" JJ spoke kindly.
"Why do I have so many?"
“Because I passed you some of mine,” Morgan sneered and you gasped, completely offended. You whispered something accusatory in his direction that made Spencer laugh from the next desk, and then he reached over to take just under half the folders.
"I will help you"
"Oh no, no, Reid. It's okay,” you said, your voice softening noticeably, as you placed your hands over his to try to stop him.
"It's nothing, I'll finish them in a jiffy"
"Why don't you ever offer to help me, huh?"
“You manage pretty well on your own,” Spencer teased at your friend, now making you laugh. You still had your hands on his under the excuse of collecting your reports and, perhaps unconsciously, both of you postponed the moment for another few seconds, looking into your eyes with a small smile until he finally managed to keep the material that he had stolen from your desk.
"Thank you," you said, so softly that only he could hear you.
Looking at your coworker had already become something of an obsession. You liked his gestures, how he looked away when he spoke, his nervous ramblings, and the straight hair that he apparently was letting grow, but what you liked the most were his hands. When he was explaining a profile, he always communicated a lot with his body language and honestly, the swaying of his hands, combined with the tranquility in his tone of voice, was very hypnotic to you, as if keeping the attention of others was something inescapable for him, although it was probably easier to keep your attention specifically. Right now, while everyone was minding their own business, you were watching sideways as he ran his middle finger over the printed lines. It made you nervous to see the delicacy with which he moved across the sheet of paper and inevitably your mind traveled to inappropriate corners related to that movement, which embarrassed you to the point of blushing. Thank heavens he was too focused to notice you, so you forced yourself to work on the few reports Reid had let you keep.
The days were very rare when no cases appeared, but you were grateful that they existed because sometimes it was necessary to take a breather. Seeing so many bodies, so much blood and so much inhumanity was something you never quite got used to, although having good teammates in your unit made it more bearable. So that night nothing stopped you from finishing right on time, with a little back pain from sitting all day, but also quite calm.
"I'll see you tomorrow, rest"
"Are you going to your apartment?" Spencer asked, rushing towards you with his coat in hand and the briefcase slung over his shoulder, and you nodded Can you wait for me to go together?”
You looked at him, more confused than you wanted, but you said yes. It's not that you were upset or that you didn't want company, but that you were curious as to why he might have offered to do it.
"Thanks again, for earlier," you said, once both of you were outside. You lived a few streets from the office and you could get there in less than 20 minutes by taking a subway station, which fortunately was the same one he took.
“Okay, they were too many for you. I mean, it's not that I think you can't do the job, you're very capable, it's just that I thought it was too much workload for just you and I… well, I could help you so I did it” with that Reid held up a hand to downplay the matter and smiled at you.
“Why have we never thought about walking to the subway together?”
"I don't know either," he said. You felt a gust of wind hit the both of you so you hugged yourself to try and get some warmth and even though Spencer wasn't the best at reading social cues he managed to figure out what you had and what he needed to do 
“Here” he murmured, as he spread the coat and put it on your shoulders.
“Oh no, no, no, Reid. I'm fine"
"In fact, if you don't use it you can catch a cold and although there are very few cases in which there are complications that lead to death, the symptoms last about a week and you can infect several people during the first days, so you not only you would be taking care of yourself but also the rest of the team” he informed you. That made you smile, and you found that behind all his scientific mumbo jumbo, he was trying to take care of you.
"It's a little big on me," you laughed, reaching into the sleeves with some help from him.
“You look pretty” he blurted out from his lips, completely entranced by you “Well, the… the coat. It looks good” he tried to fix, but you laughed at the compliment that you definitely wouldn't pass up.
"Aren't you cold?"
“No, my shirt and vest help,” Spencer replied, showing you the long sleeve of her white shirt. “I also have my scarf, did you forget it?”
"The best choice in all your outfits" you joked, reaching out a hand to feel the soft fabric of the garment and looking at him, with that cute shy smile "What will you do when you get to your apartment?"
“Huh, probably get some sleep. I haven't been resting properly in the past few days."
"Nightmares again?" you sadly asked. Spencer had talked to you superficially about it a few days ago, although you thought that he had suffered from this disease for much longer than he wanted to admit. He didn't answer verbally, he just nodded his head and you thought he didn't want to delve into it “I think I'll spend a while in the bathtub and then I'll sleep. I'm exhausted"
“You close doors and windows before you sleep, right?”
"I do," you assured him.
“Do you also take your cell phone with you to call in case of emergencies?”
"Huh, yeah"
"Good. Take care of yourself” he insisted. Those didn't sound like random recommendations and that puzzled you a bit.
"I do, Reid," you replied softly. When you noticed that the concern in his features did not leave him, you thought it would be prudent to ask him why that was "Are you worried about something?"
"No, it's not that" he hastened to answer. You still had a few blocks to go to get to the subway and only a few passers-by walked the streets, besides you.
“Are they unsub then? Anything in particular that worries you?"
"It's nothing like that. It's just…” he gasped, still unsure to continue, “if I tell you, you'll think it's silly”
"Of course not. Tell me, what is it?" you asked. He was internally debating if he should tell you what he was thinking and he was convinced a little when he felt your hand on his arm, as if prompting him to speak.
“Yesterday I…” he started to say “I had a nightmare. I dreamed when I arrived at the office I found out that something bad had happened to you. And… I don't know, it felt very real and I couldn't get it out of my head” he admitted. You understood that perhaps it was the reason he had wanted to accompany you, as if he feared that someone might stalk you on the way.
“Spence” you murmured gently, as you pulled him a little in your direction to place one hand on his bicep and the other on his forearm “Don't worry, nothing's going to happen to me. My apartment complex has a good security system and I always carry my gun, if something happens on the street, I will know how to deal with it. They're just bad dreams, I have them sometimes too” you said to reassure him. You felt quite comfortable walking in that position and you continued a couple of steps holding him like this, looking for some negative sign from him, but it never came. With the closeness he managed to feel a little less fear, reminding himself that what tormented him were fantasies of his own mind, that if they were analyzed with a little more detail they were an unconscious reflection of how much he feared losing you.
"I told you it would be silly"
"It is not. It's quite sweet, actually,” you smiled, moving your thumb up and down as you smiled at him. In that position your face was at the height of the boy's shoulder and it was enough for him to turn his head to reach your forehead, so he wondered how much you would bother if he left you a kiss there. He wanted to, but held back.
“I just thought I should tell you. For you to be careful"
“Same to you, Reid. You have a rather peculiar ability to get into trouble” you exclaimed accusingly, because in a couple of cases the man had already managed to get on your nerves.
The position turned out to be cozier than you expected and you continued walking the rest of the streets towards the subway in silence. He concentrated on the feeling of your body so close to him and your hands gently holding him, while you lost yourself in thought wondering what you really felt about your coworker and what he felt for you. Spencer would look at you from time to time, analyzing your gestures and enjoying the sight of you wearing his clothes, something he didn't think would affect him the way he did.
“Did you know that railway suicides have a very small percentage in the country's suicide rate?” he told you, while the two of you looked at the subway tracks that you were waiting for. You had had to distance yourself to be able to pay the pennies for the ticket and you had decided to place your hands in the pockets of your borrowed coat, caressing the lining fabric with your fingers.
"I had no idea" you muttered. You were a little surprised that he always had an interesting fact about literally anywhere you were and you loved hearing him tell you “It must be horrible. And very sad"
"Even the government allocates certain resources to pay for psychological therapy for drivers who witness these suicides"
"Well, at least it comforts me to know that part of my taxes ends there," you joked bitterly and the train stopped just as you finished saying it. Reid let you first into the nearly empty car that would take you home, and along the way you continued to talk about less unfortunate things, like the dinner choices you were planning or the TV shows that were likely to be airing when you arrived.
Having those little quiet moments with him made you feel lucky and the laughs he managed to get filled your chest with joy, making you completely forget everything related to work. The voice in the wagon warned that your stop was next and an anticipated sadness invaded you.
“Be…”
"Be careful, I know" you smiled. Since you were already on your feet, so as not to miss your stop, you crouched down to give him a quick goodbye hug “See you tomorrow. Try to sleep and if you have nightmares you can call me, okay?" you muttered. He nodded from his place as he watched you leave towards the platform and leaned out the window to see your figure disappear into the distance.
Neither of you two realized that you had kept his coat until you got home.
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As of that night, that coat returned to see the doctor's closet on very few occasions and the purple scarf went on to have joint custody. He had found out that if he loved anything more than wearing the clothes you gave him, it was seeing you wearing them, causing him to come up with totally pathetic excuses to accomplish that. 
"It's a bit cold" "Purple matches your clothes" or simply "keep it, it looks better on you than on me"
It soon became a habit. During the cases, when you two were apart, it was a little comforting to have something of him with you and when he came home, he would enjoy breathing in the smell of your perfume impregnated on the fabric.
After a few weeks you realized that, without a doubt, you were so in love with him. And when he realized the same thing, he was completely terrified.
“Reid” you greeted him one morning, catching up with him as he poured himself a coffee and analyzed a piece of bread that had surely been sitting there since the day before. Hugs when seeing him had also become a habit, quite nice from the man’s point of view "I have something for you"
"Again?"
"Oh yeah," you smiled. Lately you had been filling him with small gifts and most of them quite rare, but which he kept suspiciously in his desk drawer. And it's not that he didn't appreciate it, but that he was beginning to feel guilty for receiving so many and not having given you any yet. "Give me your keys," you asked and he obeyed without even questioning you. Once you had them in your hand, you took a strip of colored beads from your pocket that you added as a key ring, while he looked at you with some confusion.
"What's that?"
“My friend asked me to babysit her daughter this weekend and we went crazy with crafts. So I thought I'd do this to you” you muttered. He took a closer look at the keyring and noted that you had included his favorite colors, purple and green, as well as a heart-shaped bead at the end. "I know it looks like a preschool kid's creation and if you're embarrassed to wear it you can throw it away”
"No, I like it. It's pretty,” he smiled, running his long fingers over the beads. Satisfied with the answer, you took out your own keys and proudly showed them to him.
"I have one just like it," you said happily. That was true, only yours was made of pink and blue, and the way you said it completely touched the man.
"You make me think that there is still goodness in this world, you know?" he exclaimed, so sincere and without thinking that he surprised you "I loved it, thank you very much"
"Now that I think about it, it's like one of those friendship bracelets you make at summer camp”
“I never went to a summer camp”
"I don't know why I'm not surprised" you laughed and would have continued the conversation if it hadn't been for Hotch's interruption.
“We've got a case. Conference room in 5”
Sometimes you forgot that the real reason you were there was the criminal profiles and not seeing Spencer Reid every day.
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You just woke up one morning and knew you had to tell Spencer how you felt about him. As you said before, Spencer seemed to have a special magnet for trouble and proof of this were the cases in which he had to perform dangerous tasks that you knew no one else could do. When he had to get on that train with Ted Bryar you'd gone crazy and last week when he'd watched that cult boy on Massanutten Mountain threaten Reid with a gun you decided you'd had enough.
He had expressed concern for your well-being on multiple occasions, but what about his? Didn't you have the right to care about him just as much? every time he came back you wanted to throw yourself into his arms and whisper in his ear if he was okay, to maybe leave a kiss or two on his cheeks. But every time he came back you just cheered with the rest of the team and barely had contact with him beyond a squeeze on the shoulder and a sincere: I'm glad you're okay.
So you thought that if you wanted to have that kind of privilege over others the only alternative was to profess your love to him in the hope that he would feel the same way and you could work something out.
Spencer, for his own part, also had his epiphany and as much as he tried to avoid it he ended up asking Morgan for advice, who was the only person he thought would be suitable to talk about this kind of subject. Surprisingly, Derek behaved discreetly and really gave the doctor valuable elements to understand one of the few sciences in which science was almost obsolete: love.
Going back to recently acquired habits, walking together to the subway was another one of them. Sometimes this was interrupted because he or you stayed longer than the other, but except for those cases it was a regular activity.
So that night, when you two were walking to the station, your mind was immersed in remembering the speech with which you planned to tell your friend.
"You're very quiet today," Reid observed, taking you by surprise. In a few months he had already learned very well some traits that indicated that something was wrong with you.
“Sorry, I… I have a few things on my mind,” you apologized, but Spencer didn't know what to say because he also had his own things on his mind. He was desperately searching for a way to put into words what he felt, but he kept wondering, could that be explained? All attempts at reasoning became useless with you near him, maybe that's why he couldn't think of how to tell you "Reid, I don't think I've ever asked you, but have you ever had a partner?"
"Like… couple?" he asked, trying to make sure you were referring to the same thing he thought.
“I know it sounds weird, but it just… made me curious,” you exclaimed, shrugging and then crossing your arms in an attempt to comfort yourself. Reid fondly watched how your arms were on that purple scarf and felt a little motivated to speak.
“Huh, in that case, yes, something like that. I dated two people when I was in school, but it wasn't anything serious, just a few kisses” he explained to you and you failed to contain your laughter, maybe because of the way he had explained it. Spencer blushed to his ears and smiled reflexively at your smile. "Don't tease!"
"I don't" you defended yourself. Another person walked down the sidewalk and he reached out his arm to move you protectively in front of him, so when you came back to his side you took advantage of the distance between you, to the point where your shoulder brushed against his arm.
"And you?" he asked after a while of silence "Have you had many boyfriends?"
"The truth? not so many. With most of them I lost interest after the first date and the others left me when they found out I was in the academy. Apparently armed women aren't very attractive” you smiled. You had asked about his romantic history, and incidentally talked a bit about yours, only to open the topic and somehow feel that your confession would not be so out of place.
“There are studies that indicate that women take longer to fall in love than men, perhaps that is why you lost interest quickly. For you it takes about 6 or 8 dates to decide if you want something with a person, because you are more selective and better analyze personality traits in men. But they only care that the girls are… well, pretty” he murmured, with a smirk “On average it takes women 134 days to fall in love while men only 88”
“How long have you and I known each other?”
"It must be like... a year and a half now" he exclaimed, mentally doing the math "Why?" he continued legitimately confused. For the genius that he was, Reid was naive at times.
You looked down at him and for a second thought that even with those bags under his eyes and the stubble he hadn't shaved, Spencer was the most handsome man you'd ever met. Not receiving an answer, he looked at you and was surprised to see the sparkle in your eyes.
"Okay, can we stop here for a moment?" you asked. You knew you were probably going to chicken out if you didn't say it right then, even if that closed beauty salon you were standing in front of was an unromantic place. "I need to tell you something”
You had said it with determination, but once you were face to face, your mind went blank. You panicked: how were you going to tell him? What was the right thing to say? What reaction did you expect?
But Spencer, noticing the silence, decided to be the first to speak.
“Noradrenaline is a neurotransmitter that produces excitement and effusivity, increases heartbeat, blood pressure, causing sweating of hands and flushing. High dopamine levels generate a need to be with the person that releases it and is related to serotonin, which generates well-being, optimism, social closeness, and reduces discomfort and anger. Phenylethylamine makes everything more intense, makes us feel more motivated and optimistic and finally, oxytocin is the love hormone par excellence, it occurs when we have a bond of trust with people or when we feel a strong attraction. Sometimes it is also released when we embrace the reason for our affection” he had said that so hastily and waving his hands, that he could only show how nervous he was. He inhaled to catch his lost breath, then finally made eye contact with you, taking a moment before continuing, “What I'm trying to say is…you make me feel all of that. You alter my chemistry in ways I've never thought of and… and I… go all goofy and don't know what to say…”
"Spencer" you interrupted him "You mean you like me?" you asked gently, because you knew that when he started to wander sometimes you needed to bring him back down to earth. Reid looked at you tight-lipped and nodded slowly.
You were silent for a second, trying to process what he had just told you, and he got even more nervous than he was.
“But I think that after all this what I care to know is… if you feel the same way. Or in the worst case, if you think you might feel something like this”
“A total chemical mess for you?” you exclaimed amused. One of your hands went to his and you gently held it, taking a step closer to him. “I'm sorry, Reid. I feel it every time I look at you, that you hug me, every time I give you those silly gifts and see the smile on your face. Everything in you causes me that"
"Are you serious?" he asked, wanting to be completely sure what he was hearing. You laughed and wrapped your free arm around his neck, pulling him into a hug.
“Of course I do. Before you said all that I was racking my brain trying to find a way to tell you how I felt."
“Did you know that this is a phenomenon? There are those who call it the tuning fork effect, which is when two people connect the same idea at the same time, almost as if they had been thinking at the same frequency.”
You chuckled and buried your head in his neck, letting go of his hand so you could hug him properly. He wrapped both arms around your waist and buried his head in your hair, willing to say nothing more for fear of ruining the moment. All the fears you had had were being buried with that contact, because now you had the certainty that what you felt was mutual.
You stayed like that for what felt like hours, just listening to the gentle beating of his heart and enjoying the sense of security that being in the man's arms made you feel.
"I really like you" you broke the silence, with a whisper, making him smile.
"I think the most logical step from here would be to ask you out on a date, no?" he muttered. You pulled away enough to look at him, but still leaving your arms around his shoulders.
“I don't want to have to wait. Let's go for a burger"
"Don't you prefer somewhere more... formal?"
"Leave formal places for proposals, handsome," you said in a playful voice, caressing his cheeks with your extended palm and he made a mental note that this Italian restaurant he was thinking of inviting you to would be the ideal place to ask you to take the next step, when the time was right. 
“I still have to take you on at least 6 dates, to be sure”
"Fuck the statistics, I don't need that burger to know I'm in love with you," you said and he grinned from ear to ear.
“I know a place with an excellent health label and organic food, it is a few streets from here”
"I follow you" you answered cheerfully "On one condition"
"Which?"
"Let me hold your hand," you asked softly and Reid wasted no time in fulfilling your wish, leading you to the restaurant that way.
And at the end of the night, when you stole a kiss from him, he couldn't have felt luckier.
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possiblylando · 2 months
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Who's the ghoul? [HTP;4 SPOILERS!]
Alright so Hunter the Parenting Episode 4 has been out for a bit. If you haven't watched Hunter the Parenting and are just seeing this for whatever reason like coincidence or following me... WATCH IT! I assure you it's worth it it's all on Youtube its great come on don't get spoiled here. Seriously SPOILERS FOR BASICALLY EVERYTHING IN EPISODE 4
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Alright hopefully everyone who hasn't watched it is out of here and now watching it. We can start by establishing the suspects.
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Now for what I hope are obvious reasons we can rule out every member of the D family. Door and Boy aren't even here anyway. As such our current list of possible suspects is;
Upper Management Occam Blacklaw Sr. Gloria Waters Wernon
Security Brock Spit Giles
Cleaners Amanda Matilda Students Elise Grimal Harry
Now who else can we rule out for sure? 1. Occam can be ruled out. He's the chapter leader and if he was the ghoul for whatever reason the information would already be out. Plus Occam is already a mage or sorcerer of some sort so I doubt he'd get trapped into becoming a Ghoul. 2. Blacklaw Sr. can be ruled out. While he has keys to whole building we knew exactly where he was the entire time the crimes were being committed. Alright so then who can we rule out based on intuition? 1. Harry was with Markus for most of the time so it likely isn't him. 2. Elise, While Big D did interrogate her first I feel like he would've had some more suspicion if he genuinely believed her to be the ghoul. As such we can shorten the list to the following;
Upper Management Gloria Wernon
Security Brock Spit Giles
Cleaners Amanda Matilda Students Grimal Now we can look at where everyone was known to be while Occam was in the vault.
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During this time the ones left unaccounted for are Elise, Big D, Wernon, Gloria, Grimal, Occam (duh), Spit, and the Cleaners. For obvious reasons we can ignore Elise and Big D as we've ruled them out as suspects. Now we can also rule out Giles and Brock from the list as during the time Occam was attacked they were both accounted for. HOWEVER I want to talk about brock for a moment. While I doubt Brock is the ghoul there is a moment near the end of the episode I want to bring attention to. While Markus and Co are saving Grimal from being tortured, D absolutely rocks Brock to the point he gets slammed into a wall. Yet Brock gets up with very little damage and continues to brawl. This is very interesting as Brock is apparently stronger than Blacklaw. This could be ghoul strength but I doubt it since Brock is a VERY big guy. Also about Giles, We know his boss at the 99p store is related to the vampires. Either she's a vampire or just a ghoul I'm not 100% sure. So Giles would have the connections to become a ghoul however having multiple ghouls working at the same 99p store seems like a waste of resources. So I doubt he's the ghoul. So now our suspect list is;
Upper Management Gloria Wernon
Security Spit
Cleaners Amanda Matilda Students Grimal Now that we've narrowed down the list of suspects I doubt that the either of the Cleaners end up being the ghoul as while both would be fairly easy to get in the building they lack any real clearance to get into the archives. As such they would be little strategical use outside of minor surveillance. Additionally they have no way to gain access to the Archives. Now ime to talk about that final scene. Wernon being killed at the end of the episode is very interesting as it acts in contradiction to what happened to Occam. Occam was just knocked out but Wernon was EVICERATED yet Wernon is a much lower priority target than Occam. Now I doubt Spit is the ghoul because again how would he have access to the Archives. However I do think Spit is the one who killed Wernon. Perhaps Spit is a Werewolf or other weird being as they were very specifically pointed out as killing machines in the episode where Big-D tells Kitten about some stuff. At the very beginning of the episode we can see the moon is full.
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The lighting is a bit weird in these early scenes as outside is very red and orange but in other scenes we can see the moon and it's detailing a bit better so this is certainly the moon. As such the circumstances exist for Spit to turn into a Werewolf and flip the fuck out. Given the fact Spit is absolutely losing it I doubt he did it intentionally either. That answers the question of what happened to Wernon, what about the ghoul. Currently these are the possibilities as I see them; 1. Wernon was the ghoul. He had the means to get into the Archives and attack Occam. He's advancing in age so becoming a Ghoul might help with that slightly which would supply a motive. If he brought Spit off to deal with him, then spit flipping out in self defense would continue to track with him being a possible werewolf. 2. Grimel is the ghoul. Grimel was acting a bit weird the entire episode and during the start when the ghoul was announced she looked very uncomfortable. Additionally she's spent a majority of the episode away from the rest of the group and was missing while Occam was attacked. When she was being "interrogated" by blacklaw she doesn't actually say she isn't the ghoul she changes the subject. However this again could be coincidence as she saw Amanda get fried. Additionally there is the issue of her not having access to the archives. 3. Gloria is the ghoul. This one I think is the least likely. The only real evidence for this is that she was willing to so quickly take control of the situation when Occam was passed out. Currently the odds as I see them are Wernon; 40% Grimel; 30% Gloria; 10% Anyone else; 20% However if it is Wernon that raises the question, What will the rest of this arc be about? If the ghoul is dead then the rest of the arc would have to be about sorting shit out and kinda loosing it at eachother. But again that seems weird right? Killing the culprit off? So I guess my final guess is; Grimal (MAYBE Wernon) is the ghoul Spit is a werewolf (or similar creature) Matilda is going to be important somehow
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ponett · 9 months
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Whenever I complain about graphic or dark content in media I watch, I keep hearing people retort with this apparently very popular opinion that people who enjoy comfy, wholesome things are actually more likely to be raging assholes than people who love things like death metal and gore. As someone who seems to enjoy comfy, wholesome things yourself and likely met many others who enjoy similar such things, do you agree with this opinion? If so, why do you think this happens?
So I've been sitting on this ask for like a week, not knowing whether or not I wanted to touch it because it kind of feels like being handed a live grenade
For one, I don't like being pigeonholed as someone who just likes "comfy" or "wholesome" things. Yeah, I enjoy My Little Pony and Animal Crossing. I made a game with cute furry characters and lots of bright colors. I also enjoy things like Berserk and Chainsaw Man and Doom and violent crime dramas and punk rock with vulgar lyrics and porn. Variety is the spice of life
Anyway: I generally don't think it's a good idea to make sweeping statements about peoples' moral or intellectual character based on what genres of story they enjoy, regardless of what direction you're coming at it from. But this is a very leading question that kind of skirts around the root problems
There's frequent (perhaps a bit exaggerated) pushback these days against people who prefer their fiction to be a warm blanket, a form of escapism meant to distract you from the real world. In particular, the dreaded "person who only watches kids' cartoons" is a form of this that gets brought up a lot. I don't think the root problem here is what media people enjoy or don't personally enjoy - taste is subjective, and I don't think it's a moral obligation for everyone to have diverse tastes in TV shows - but I do think some folks should try to get out of their comfort zone a bit more. Sometimes stuff that seems like it won't be for you on a surface level will really end up speaking to you, but you won't know until you give it a shot. Trust me, I've been there many times
It becomes a problem when people demand that media ONLY cater to that "warm blanket" attitude. And I think that's part of the reason why that stereotype you mentioned about fans of ""wholesome""" media being assholes exists. People who view dark or violent content as an inherent flaw because it's not what they like. People who yell at creators when they make bad things happen in their stories, because how dare you do this to my comfort characters? People who say movies should never have sex scenes. People who want "problematic" moral complexity stripped out in favor of black and white moral instruction. People who seem to hate any sort of interpersonal conflict in fiction at all
These attitudes can be the result of many different cultural factors, factors that can't all be traced back to Tumblr or what shows you like, but sometimes it's definitely because of that lack of broader perspective on media. You can tell when someone's opinions on The Right And Wrong Ways To Write Fiction were shaped almost entirely by, like, Steven Universe discourse. (Yes, this is a jab at Lily Orchard.) And when these people are very loud about their opinions, well, it becomes a trend people notice
Like. I don't know you. You sent this anonymously. But when you say you "complain about graphic or dark content in media you watch"... that could mean a few wildly different things! Maybe you're just venting about something that unexpectedly triggered you, and that's totally fine. But the wording could also imply that, like, you take issue with these things being present at all, and that you expect a person who likes "death metal and gore" to be more of a "raging asshole" than someone who likes the "wholesome" things you like. So... well, maybe you're more dismissive or judgmental of things outside your comfort zone than you realize?
Unfortunately, in case it's not already obvious, on the internet this shit quickly becomes a proxy battle over dozens of intersecting cultural issues at once where everyone is kinda just talking past each other. So it gets messy
For example, I have no reason to believe that the people who run the "Wholesome Games" showcases have anything against games that are dark or violent or contain adult themes. (They've outright said they don't. Many times!) But when you see people going "why is Spiritfarer allowed in the showcase? That's a game about DEATH and that's NOT WHOLESOME, why would you make me think about death?" or "Ugh, why does Disco Elysium have to be about a cop? Why can't we apply these systems to a game about a young witch who's trying to find a lost cat in an idyllic village instead?" it... Well, it makes me sympathetic towards the indies who don't feel comfortable with the "Wholesome Games" label and consider it limiting. But it also doesn't make me think that devs catering to a demand for more chill, nonviolent video games are categorically facilitating fascist censorship from the Christian right
It's complicated! The written word is imprecise and the internet is a nightmare
I've kind of gone off on multiple tangents here. Basically: I do think that people can kinda turn fans of "comfy" media or "adults who only watch Bluey" into an overblown boogeyman these days. I think people online generally have a habit of swinging too hard in one direction or another in their stances on certain things, overcompensating based on what group of people online are currently annoying them the most and turning said group into like The Main Problem With Society Today. But I also think that boogeyman only exists because of very real examples of people demanding that everything cater to their narrow comfort zone. Go like what you like, but also, y'know. Don't be that person
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nepherit · 2 months
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Justice for Raphael
I'm very new to Tumblr, I created an account here a few months ago after I discovered all the amazing Bg3-related art content that this place has to offer. Since then, I've never posted a single thing and barely left any comments, I'm not a very social person...but today I was scrolling my favorite bg3-related feed, when I stumbled upon a post of someone who received a rather rude ask from an anon whose sole purpose was to mock their works and insult their (possibly) favorite character Raphael, who was referred to by that anon as a "100% canon two pump chump bottom cringe clown". 
It is saddening to get yet another confirmation that some people out there aren't capable of respecting others' likes, not even in a fictional/virtual environment...but I guess that's to be expected. Besides the obvious, what made me decide to write this wall of text as my very first post is that Raphael happens to be my favorite too, the one and only fictional character I've ever felt invested in, and probably the reason why Bg3 will leave a life-long lasting impression on me.
So here I am, trying my best to point out some facts that (apparently) are easy to go amiss for some people out here:   First of all, there's nothing canon regarding what Haarlep says of Raphael, as a character's opinion about another isn't a fact to begin with. Especially if said character is (proved by facts) very unreliable as a source: him being an incubus whose standards are undoubtedly different from any mortals' and the fact that he hates Raphael are but the most obvious. Not to mention that "Speak with the dead" isn't 100% reliable either by D&D 5e rules ("the corpse is under no compulsion to offer a truthful answer if you are hostile to it or it recognizes you as an enemy"). Besides that, even if everything Haarlep says is to be considered true, the mocking words the players can say to Raphael before the fight are NOT, as Haarlep never gives such info to the player (he only responds with a "no" if asked about the matter). That line we can say before the fight is but the player's guess/ childish mockery, certainly it's not a fact.
From a purely objective perspective, the only info Haarlep gives to the player that isn't merely his opinion is Raphael's obvious selfishness and narcissism (the HoH is covered with images of him) and the fact that he likely only sleeps with himself (he has his incubus wearing his shape, even his name). By no means does that make Raphael a "cringe clown", nor would it even in the case where Haarlep spoke entirely the truth. Honestly, it never ceases to baffle me how some people can be so shortsighted and shallow. But perhaps those people are yet to grow up and come to learn that there can be much hidden beneath someone's (fictional or not) behavior. There's nothing to mock about the "Raphael only wants to sleep with himself and only loves himself" statement. 
How could it be otherwise? How, when the only person who ever loved Raphael, the only one he could trust and rely on since his birth, was himself? How could he crave someone's affection and so, be seen as weak? How could he care for another or their feelings when he never got that care or respect, to begin with? Despite his theatrics and his facade, Raphael was born Cambion, a half-breed never to be considered more than the lesser of the devils in the hierarchy of the Hells. Cambions cannot rank up, no matter their blood ties, yet Raphael managed to achieve all that he has...his palace, his many souls, and his power. None of that was gifted to him, he fought hard and earned every last bit of it with his claws, his wits, and his determination. I admire Raphael for that, for striving to become something greater than what he was supposed to be...something better than his father's "half-devil" son.
To reduce Raphael, who's most certainly one of the deepest and most complex characters we can encounter in the game, to a "100% canon two pump chump bottom cringe clown" is beyond low, very immature, and a rather shallow view, more so if it comes from someone who hasn't even had the guts to show their name...
Well, that's all. I doubt someone will make it this far, as I wrote a veeeeery long paragraph. But for once, I wanted to have my say ^^
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yiminsuu · 1 year
Text
No Control
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Pairing: Leon S. Kennedy x F!Reader
Warnings: Sexual themes (+18), dubious consent, unprotected sex, (semi) public sex, breeding, some fluff and angst, La Plaga acts like an aphrodisiac, mutual pining, reader and Leon are bad at communication.
Author’s Note: People don't know how invested I am in the Resident Evil games right now, if I loved the original games you can imagine how much I adore the remakes. Also, I've been having the most horrid of writing blocks in existence, I had this draft for 2 months! 2 MONTHS!!
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Roaming around the castle with, apparently, no exit, is frustrating and even more so when you think your friend can't be as dumb as people think she is, but here we are, Ashley has gone missing once more and I'm stuck with Leon, who is sick with La Plaga and refuses to take a minute to regain strength by resting. My worries grow the more we proceed, and it seems he is obsessed with taking all the hits to himself, even though I can use a gun. I'm not the one the government is looking for, I know very well no one is looking for me, and if Leon hadn't found me I wouldn't be alive to see Ashley or, for lack of better words, to see her running around the castle to supposedly keep us safe.
"Are you sure you are alright?" I spoke, receiving a glance from Leon as we make our way through a corridor. "I should be the one asking you that, that knife stab was not pretty." I refuse to let myself be the damsel in distress, and I admit I can do many things if you give me a weapon, but in the last attack we were surrounded by the monks. The excruciating pain came as a shock, I couldn't move and my scream must have made Leon panic because his attention went immediately to me and the wound on my shoulder. "Do you need me to change the bandage?" I shook my head and lowered my gaze, letting the silence invade the space. I don't know if he can feel the tension, but dammit, ever since this Ada appeared out of nowhere there was this tightness in the air I couldn't quite grasp. I'm afraid Leon isn't as talkative as he was a few hours ago and I wonder why, he makes sure I'm protected even if I don't need it... Most of the time... And he refuses to make eye contact. Perhaps I did or said something he didn't like but I don't really see him as the type to hold a grudge against something like that, Leon doesn't believe it, but he literally is an angel.
Suddenly, Leon halts all of his movements and holds his head tightly in his hands, grunting in pain as he fell to his knees. We need to get to a safer area, La Plaga surely is a son of bitch to deal with. I placed his arm around my neck and helped him to move before someone sees us, clenching my gun in rising stress. "(Y/N)..." He muttered my name in a very low tone, he's completely out of it. I took Leon for as long as I could before he let himself fall to his knees again, his back hitting the wall abruptly. "Leon? Hey, stay with me. I'll give you some medicine and I'll go look for Ashley." As soon as I said that, his pained expression was gone, replaced by an alarmed one. "You can't go on your own...!"
"We have to save Ashley, and you are too weak because of the virus. I'll be fast." Leon's hand grabbed my arm harshly, and I'm sure it was going to leave a mark soon. In reality, he looked a lot sicker than I thought he would, his eyes were changing to red little by little, and even like this, he refused to look at me. "I don't..." He whispered, I furrowed my brows in concern. "Want you to die..." I once wondered why he seemed closed off, so serious and quiet, his kind demeanor quickly rushed away those thoughts but this surely answered many questions I couldn't ask him for obvious reasons. 
I sighed deeply, sitting next to him and doing my best to calm down as he laid his head on my shoulder. We're not safe anywhere, so once someone finds us it will be game over, strangely, we haven't seen any enemy for the past 40 minutes.
Time goes by and we rest as much as we can in the lone room, I would occasionally touch Leon's head hoping he hasn't caught a fever, unfortunately, he was starting to burn up and I know it wasn't from walking under the cold rain. I kneel away and gain an unhearable mumble from the man, and checking on him closely, I see his rapidly rising chest, reddened cheeks, and hair disheveled from the short nap. "What is it doing to you?" I questioned confused, and slightly panicked when Leon opened his eyes to stare at me, pupils dilated and red with something I couldn't identify. "Leon...?" Slowly, he moved his legs apart and set down the shotgun, my eyes widened.
The bulge in his pants was massive. 
A whimper escaped from my lips before I recomposed myself, is this one of the side effects of La Plaga?
Leon looked embarrassed beyond belief, trying to hide his face as much as possible. "I want to touch you." He started. "I need to... You have to get away." Leon... Wants to touch me? 
No. This is not Leon, it's La Plaga speaking and messing with his body and mind, I have to find Luis as soon as possible and destroy the virus. "Hang in there." With that, I immediately ran away, but my heartbeat increased when the sound of footsteps caught up to me, crying loudly when two arms elevated me from behind. "Leon! Let me go--!" Before I know it, Leon lowered us, pressing my body onto the ground as his weight settles over my back. A groan escaped my lips, ready to grab my gun just to be swiftly incapacitated by the agent. "Leon...!"
"Quiet." Eyes widening at the deep sound of his voice, I noticed his breathing worsening the more he let the parasite take control. His hands shook and he slowly held up my leg to allow me to turn around, out of sympathy for someone I consider a friend, I stared into Leon's eyes. The sight broke my heart, he looked aroused, confused, a flushing mess of a guy that has an idea of what is about to happen. His brows furrowed the more tightly he grabbed on my clothing, just to have it ripped within a second, my only undergarments being my panties. I couldn't help but shiver from the cold surroundings. Leon bit his lip and glared at his own impotence to control the parasite, his firm, calloused fingers caress a smooth path along my skin before gently spreading my legs.
"It's okay..." Leon looked at me, bewildered at my words. If there was no way of escaping this, then at least we can make each other feel better somehow. "Just... Do what you have to do. I-I'll be fine..." 
Leon closed his eyes slowly and with a shaky breath, his knife sliced my last remaining decency and he cupped my cunt, both of us became acutely aware of just how wet I am. It would be a lie to claim Leon is not good-looking, a good guy, and perhaps I'm the bad one because I found myself daydreaming of him like this. The touch felt heated, the pressure is delicious, and I can’t help but push my hips up, seeking more contact, more friction, just more of Leon... But his hand is already moving away. The tip of one finger slides a line to my clit, and my whole body jolts at the electric contact, his nervous pants are hot as he made slow, precise circles over and over on my clit. Then his hand dips lower, sinking two thick fingers into me. It punches the air out of me, leaving only an ache, my mind feels raw around the edges, fuzzy with the sharp spike of heat spearing through me. 
I know what he's doing, Leon doesn't want to hurt me, but he's letting it harm him the more he tries to restrain it. He pulled his hand away, it’s like a bucket of cold water dumped over my head, I watch him through half-lidded eyes, breath panting as my lungs squeeze painfully tight in my chest. I heard the sound of a belt amongst our hard breathing, he sounded relieved for a second. I shivered when I felt his tip pressing against my hole, Leon holds himself there, and I spasm in place while the wait becomes excruciating. I don’t know what he’s doing until I hear the inhale of a breath.
"I'm sorry..."
Then I feel everything, pain, pleasure, warmth, the sensation of being filled without mercy. I moaned, his hand firm on my waist as he pins me down. His jaw tenses, watching himself slide out me slowly, waiting for some type of signal that would mean he can and should stop, but nothing comes, in fact, it makes it worse. Leon is looming above me, wrapping one hand around his slick cock, wet with pre-come dripping from the flushed tip. "Fuck..." He muttered, yanking me even closer toward him and notching the tip of his cock at my entrance. I braced myself for penetration, anticipating the stretch of him with a pathetic whimper.
The first slide as he filled me up again with his cock is fucking heaven, a sweet aching stretch that sends pleasure singing out along my every nerve. My thighs tremble, my body arching against him without any input from me, clenching down around his girth while my vision flickered. Leon groaned shamefully, he sounded desperate the faster he moved, I swear I can see fucking stars. He doesn’t stop, he can't, he thrusts himself into me with harsh, deep thrusts and pleasure spreads up my stomach, twining along my legs, and I can feel my orgasm building already.
My breath comes out as a sob, tears stinging my eyes as my cunt clenched and squeezed around the hardness of his cock, twitching and jerking in response. A hand rested against my cheek, it didn't slow Leon's motions, but it was the softest response I had from him since this whole ordeal started. I placed my hand on his in response to his concern, and those beautiful eyes of his slammed shut, biting out a curse. 
If this wasn't caused by a lethal virus I would be happy to think he feels the same way, but shit... Even if this is only to aid him a little I don’t mind being a cum bucket for a few hours. Muscles contract and clutch down in a way that's beyond my control when I'm rewarded with more deep thrusts. My eyes widened when he touched my cervix, making me whimper loudly. "L-Leon!!" It’s maddening, pleasure shoots through my entire being before rolling my eyes back and cumming around his cock...
He doesn't stop, Leon doesn't stop-- Fuck! He's not stopping!
I try to push him away from me, but it's all for naught as he relentlessly thrusts himself into me. "Almost, I'm almost there..." He spoke, his skin slapping against mine with no signs of stopping soon. Fucking liar, trying to make me feel better when we know it feels like we're both going to die. "Look at me, (Y/N)... Don't close your eyes." Slowly but surely, I indulged, and all I can see is his eyes burning into me, pupils blown so wide that they were almost pitch black. Leon's intense gaze fixed on me is like I'm the only thing that exists to him, I want him to stop, but I'm too far gone to say any word.
We're stripped of thinking at this point, Leon is going feral little by little and he's not letting me go, I doubt he will try to control La Plaga again. I screamed whenever he would hit my cervix, unable to close my mouth if only for shame, but I'm blissed out of my mind and overstimulated. I met his dark gaze, finding his eyes on my body once more, maybe he hasn't stopped staring at all. "Stop-- F-Fuck! Staring--!" I choked on a moan, it was barely coherent, but somehow I managed to get the words out. With a startled yell, I was pulled to his lap and sighed in relief at the change of position. "Better?" Leon whispered into my ear, once I nodded, he began thrusting as if he has the stamina to last a lifetime.
My hands clenched on his shirt, mentally cursing again and again at how perfectly he fills me, he's hitting every right spot. Leon puts a hand across my hair, his eyes softening and planting small kisses on my shoulder and neck to calm me down, repeating that he'll be over soon, that he's sorry. The sweet burning ache builds immediately, deep and consuming, the blissful pleasure swirls tight and insistent somewhere deep in my belly. I can't recognize any more words outside of my own, but Leon's voice is gentle, the softness is in direct contrast to the way I'm crying and begging. I reached up and tangled my hand in his hair, drawing him closer so I can kiss him.
Leon's arms come around me as his hips thrust up, a small cry coming out of my mouth as he licked my lips. He groaned, hips adjusting his angle, arms pulling me down greedily so I can meet his non-stopping strikes, again and again with a hard and rough pace. With this new position, it doesn’t take me long to feel that familiar warmth, all I can do is cling to him as everything inside me intensifies in every sense of the word. "(Y/N)..." Pleasure spills over my body, it's chaotic and too much, bright spots blinding my vision as I come, harder than I ever have in my life, and squirting all over Leon's shirt and lap. 
Leon still isn’t stopping, pushing deep into me as his thrusts don’t slow even when his cum coats my walls, a broken gasp escaping him. "F-Fuck, Leon!" The blinding bliss spikes through my blood, hot and piercing. It’s pitiful the way I'm sobbing and whining as he continues relentlessly with his strokes until both of us are completely spent. Finally, he stills, collapsing on the ground with me above him, and we lay there like that for a long moment, panting in absolute euphoria.
I feel sleepy and sated, with all the stress of being hunted down this was like a breath of fresh air, and reality went blurry and faded at the edges. "Didn't think this would happen, but thanks..." Leon said, panting. I hummed, trying to calm my heartbeat. "Sorry about your clothes."
I snickered at his awkwardness after such intense sex. "I doubt you are." The silence came back, but it wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it would be, his arms were hugging my form and I felt safe and protected. Then he sat with me resting against him. "I'm alright, seriously. Still, I doubt I will be able to walk for a while." 
Leon looked away embarrassed but turned back to me, kissing my forehead. "Wanna get coffee after this?"
I smiled tiredly, but deep down the feeling of joy flourished. "Yeah, now go on and look for some clothes, I don't want Ashley to ask."
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evilbihan · 2 months
Note
I'm curious, do you think Smoke might leave the Shirai Ryu at some point? I don't know why I feel like he might.
Yes, absolutely.
This is actually one of my favorite theories/predictions for either the next MK game or a future story DLC because there are a lot of things hinting at exactly that happening.
We have to keep in mind that Smoke's motivation in the new era, according to his official bio, is loyalty, so I doubt that he will simply turn his back on the Shirai Ryu.
I only see him leaving the clan he himself helped build if he either gets corrupted by the Enenra or if he decides Kuai Liang is no longer deserving of his loyatly, perhaps once he finds out about how Kuai Liang was willing to let Bi-Han die.
These are the main reasons why I think Smoke will leave the Shirai Ryu.
1 - Smoke is apparently not going to be in the upcoming DLC
Don't quote me on this because I can only talk about what I've seen on reddit, but so far none of the leaks have mentioned him and it seems he won't be present at Kuai Liang's wedding. Of course, there could be many explanations for his absence, but personally, I believe there might be some disagreement between Smoke and Kuai Liang.
Scorpion: Our resolve cannot waver, brother. Smoke: I’m offended that you think mine has.
It's obvious these two don't exactly see eye to eye since Kuai Liang seems to doubt Smoke's resolve and we also know Tomáš would prefer his brothers to reconcile, not kill each other, which is the opposite of what Kuai Liang wants. Kuai Liang wants to kill Bi-Han and is going to leave him behind to die. I feel like Smoke might be upset when he finds out about that. He already seems reluctant to follow Kuai Liang down the path of vengeance.
2 - A very old leak mentioned Smoke leaving the Shirai Ryu
I don't know if anyone else remembers this, but I can recall a leak from back before the game came out claiming that Smoke's tower ending would have him leaving both the Lin Kuei and the Shirai Ryu because he was tired of fighting.
I've been trying to find a screenshot of this because I remember seeing it in a youtube video but I've been unable to do so. Maybe it was taken down and obviously, we got an entirely different tower ending for Smoke, but I wonder if, instead of being fake, that leak was just talking about something that's to come in the future. It definitely feels like something that could happen because Smoke seems like he's tired of the feud between his brothers.
3 - Noob and the tag team mode
Chances are that the tag team mode will come back to MK1, especially with the return of Noob which could also hint at a comeback for Noob-Smoke. While I personally doubt that Smoke would side with Bi-Han, unless he becomes corrupted himself, it's a possibility that we could see that team up making a return.
Sorry if this turned out longer than necessary, but yes, I definitely do believe we could see Smoke leaving the Shirai Ryu at some point in the future.
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suzukiblu · 4 months
Note
more black zero please!
“I hope you all know I’ll be holding that against you,” Black Zero informs the Justice League, eyeing them darkly. Assholes. Assholes willing to strap a two year-old clone to an atomic bomb to investigate a threat they didn’t know jack shit about without backup. 
He could use a stronger descriptor than “assholes”, actually. 
“This isn’t the situation where you get to threaten people,” Superman says, narrowing his eyes at him. Black Zero genuinely debates taking a page from his teenage selves’ books and flipping him off. If Superman wants to talk to him like he’s somehow under the impression that he’s the strongest person in the room, he should, perhaps, remember that Wonder Woman is three feet away from him, and also that Black Zero himself is, again, an upgrade. “This is the part where you give us a reason not to send you to the Phantom Zone.” 
Black Zero really should just punch him. 
“Well, if you’re going to try me on hearsay, technically I am a minor,” he drawls, raising an eyebrow at Superman. He really did expect someone more impressive. “I’m the exact same age as your ‘Kon-El’, in fact.”
“I mean, give or take a reality,” Superboy says, gesturing awkwardly. “But, uh–yeah. I mean, Black Zero didn’t time-travel or anything, Cadmus just grew him to full-size and then kinda, uh . . . tossed him at Metropolis and told him to just . . . go be Superman. Which did not go well, for the record, so like–I mean, I get the Phantom Zone concerns, but he didn’t start out bad, and, well . . .” 
“It did not go well, no,” Black Zero agrees, his lip curling in disdain at the memories. Superman looks unsettled for a moment, then narrows his eyes at him in obvious judgment, like he thinks he has the right. 
“You’re a psychological adult,” he says. “You knew better than to do what you’ve done.” 
“You stayed dead in my reality,” Black Zero says, wondering what the inside of this idiot’s head must be like. Sunshine and puppies and bullshit, apparently. “Left it all to me. And you don’t know a thing about what I had to do.” 
He knows much better, in fact. Better than Superman, who was accepted even as an alien stranger who lied about his name to everyone he met. Everyone in Black Zero’s home reality had known exactly who he was and where he’d come from and what he’d been made for from day one, but they’d never trusted him half as much as their precious original Superman, even before things had started going bad. 
Black Zero still finds that ironic, considering. He has human DNA. He had humans he cared about. Specific and visible ones who weren’t just allied superheroes or people who could conveniently spin his existence for the press. 
No one could say the same about Superman. Not as far as they knew. 
“And you clearly made your choices,” Superman says. Black Zero gives him a flat look, then decides he’s not worth acknowledging any more than he already has and looks back to Superboy. 
“I’ve never actually met a Superman before,” he says. “Are they all this fucking sanctimonious?” 
“I mean, I’ve gotten some very weird lectures from the guy,” Superboy admits, making a bit of a face. “But he’s not–what the fuck does ‘sanctimonious’ even mean, asshole?” 
“It means he thinks he’s morally superior to the rest of the conversation,” Black Zero says. “And that he’s making a point of shoving that ‘fact’ in our faces.” 
“He is morally superior to us,” Superboy says in exasperation, scowling up at him again. “He’s Superman! That’s his whole thing!” 
“And I’m sure you came to that conclusion completely on your own, and through no outside influence whatsoever,” Black Zero says dryly. “Definitely no ‘very weird lectures’ were involved in the process.” 
“Don’t twist my fucking words around!” Superboy snaps indignantly. 
“Kon . . .” Superman says, his jaw tightening. Black Zero continues to ignore the spare parts, for obvious reasons.
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qcoded · 4 months
Text
Belos, and the way he purposely appealed to The Collector: A TOH ANALYSIS.
I feel like one of the reasons that The Collector trusted Belos so much, was because he literally made himself appealing to them.
Despite the few scenes that they have, you can probably name a few of the aspects he changed around them. But one of the most apparent ones for me, was how Belos basically changed the way he spoke around them.
In a lot of the moments where they appeared together, he seemed to use a much more softer & sing-songy voice around them, as well as more simpler and 'friendlier' language. It's not even just with The Collector, through-out multiple times in the series he's changed his behaviour around individual people.
To name an example, let's start off with their initial meeting. Although Philip/Belos was speaking in an already soft tone of voice towards Luz and Lilith in Elsewhere and Elsewhen, it was much more calmer and monotone.
"Thank you for your kindness, crab maiden. Perhaps we were destined to meet."
Despite the obvious compliment, his words almost feel empty. There's no feeling of "thankfulness" behind them, just a pat to the shoulder and that's it. But that's the thing, even Lilith said it in the same scene. He just says everything a person wants to hear, and to Luz, just hearing his 'gratitude' through a sentence was enough to make her feel nice for assisting him so kindly.
However, when you look at when two of his scenes with the Collector, you can see Philip's shift in tone and behaviour.
Although he still had an almost blank expression, the very first thing he said when he unburied their plate and held it up was an almost playful, but simple "Found you", literally singing it out, around the end.
I feel like this is due to the fact that, Philip definitely knew The Collector was a child and made that subconcious switch in his words while speaking for them. It was made way more apparent when he was talking to their tablet and calling them these (objectively) silly names, at the same time looking endeared while speaking. Philip's face almost lit up as they called them 'a round boy'.
Like Lilith said, to Philip, he immediately started to speak like how you'd typically do with a child. Much more playful wording, and friendlier mannerisms even.
Although I believe at the start of their relationship that Belos treated The Collector more kindly to have them warm up to him, even later on you can still see this happening.
In the memory of Belos & The Collector in Hollow Mind, it's even more obvious than my previous examples. Belos & The Collector are quite literally playing a game, in this case Hide & Seek, with Belos being the one to start the whole interaction.
And again, when he's calling out for The Collector at the start he's using that playful, but gentle sing-songy voice. He's going along with their little game, because he's been doing this for *decades* now. Exactly what I mean when I say Belos appeals to them, he's giving into their childish nature and feeding onto it.
Likewise with his language, Belos changes it to make things sound more engaging to them. Although The Collector knew what was happening with the Day of Unity, with the way Belos was framing it, it was inevitable that they would just treat it so unseriously.
Ex: "You'll have your fun, on the Day of Unity" Like? Even though The Collector didn't even understand the concept of death, it was clear that they weren't fond of people just disappearing, like the titans. But Belos was literally treating the death of millions of witches like some fun game of hopscotch. Add that to the list of manipulation points!
Another example? Grimmwalkers.
The Collector was seen to view them as 'things', toys that he saw Belos just get rid of time and time again. And with the way he was framing it as them 'betraying' him, Collector probably just began to believe that and started viewing them like he did.
I think I delved into a completely different point with this scene, but long story short, Belos additionally uses his change of tone and language to further desensitize horrific situations to them. I would say even sugarcoat them in a way.
During King's tide, there's this one scene where King sees The Collector, and Belos is reassuring him. This one is a bit more different than the other scenes. Unlike the previous scenes I've talked about, instead of The Collector just acting playfully and seeming to trust Belos with what he says, they're actively doubting and complaining to him. And what does this come off as to Belos? A cranky child.
And like anyone dealing with a cranky child, he immediately deals with the situation as 'best as he can'.
First, he reassures and shuts down their doubts about being freed, telling them that it was *specifically* AFTER the draining spell that they'd be freed. And when The Collector doubted him once again, he essentially frames it as the child being the one in the 'wrong' here. They just have the be patient to get their reward after all, don't they? It's sorta like how a parent just tells their kid that "Oh, we'll be there soon, just wait!". Except that The Collector instead of waiting, will literally never get freed.
Basically, Belos is quite literally gaslighting them, in the sense that he's making them feel like they're acting out of order for a very reasonable doubt.
Additionally, he's also making them FEEL like an impatient with the way he's speaking and wording himself. Belos is portraying the whole thing as this being unfortunate for the both of them ('WE have to way for after the draining spell . . .'), and tell them to just have 'patience'.
In a fucked up way, this is probably how Belos disciplined them.
And this leads me to my next point. Like some sort of system of rewards and punishment, whenever The Collector was shown to actively say things that Belos didn't like, even if it was just for the moment, he altered the way he behaved and talked around the kid.
During Clouds in The Horizon, you can immediately notice the difference during the scene with these two. Even if there was the chance that Belos was already in a bad mood, and The Collector who was just making crude jokes for half of the time worsened everything, and there's a notable change in his wording and behavior. Belos is much more withdrawn, not even responding to the boys comments at certain times and giving them the silent treatment
Something I noticed even as I write this, was that in a sense this scene and the one from Hollow Mind parellel almost perfectly.
In Hollow Mind, when The Collector was joking about Belos lashing out at Hunter and turning into his monster form, Belos pretty much brushed it off and just took it as a chance to go "well, as long as he doesn't fuck around and find out, he'll be fine". Even when they were literally saying that the grimmwalkers were 'things', a mind that Belos just made them to torture them, the guy literally SMILED as if he was amused.
Meanwhile, Belos had a completely different reaction to practically the same comments, but in a different font.
Now, The Collector was making fun of him for his monster form, saying how he can't even keep it up anymore. In response, Belos just proceeds go punch the wall and just prove their point. As for the grimmwalkers, when they suggested that the man should make another one go play with, he just shut down them said they needed to 'deal' with this one.
There's a very clear difference here: In one scene, The Collector isn't directly mocking Belos, and the man is amused by their honestly horrific joking about such vile situations. In another, they're using those same situation and topics to make fun of Belos.
In short, Belos only seemed to excuse these comments when they weren't directly being negative towards *him*, and almost rewarded The Collector by continuing to speak to them in a friendly manner. Once they did, he almost retracted a 'priviledge'.
Because that's essentially what it was. A privilege that Belos gave them by just treating as 'nicely' as someone like him could get. And like any child too, they were blinded by it.
Again, bringing me into my next point.
When Belos betrayed The Collectoe, it was the exact moment when that privilege and everything else, was permanently revoked. At first you can see how Belos just watches as The Collector, like expected, excitedly talks and gushing about how they'll be able to play. Even after all these years, Belos really is freeing them. And they'll be able to play now!
Except they aren't.
Because immediately after, Belos shut down any hopes that they have of being freed with a simple "I'm afraid that's impossible".
At first, they're confused, hurriedly repeating Philip's promise, because sufely he couldn't have forgotten about it. But the man just brushes it off as an inconvenience, that he just didn't have any more Titan's Blood to free them.
And even as The Collector shouts and screams that Belos was a liar, unlike in the scene where he reassured them about their doubts, he doesn't have to do that anymore. Because there's no use in appealing to them anymore.
The kid was wringed dry of all their use to the man. And just like those grimmwalkers, like those witches, like everyone, Belos would leave them. Because in the end, they were also just a 'thing' for Belos.
And to add more insult to injury, it's not even like Belos just started acting all serious and mad like whenever he was upset with them. Opposite, even, because there was still using that sing-songy, playful tone to his voice speaking to them. In a sense, it was now The Collector's turn to be mocked. And it's not even like they could protest and throw one of their 'tantrum's', because Belos essentially just shut them up.
After dropping their plate down a bridge, just to add to open up that cut even more, Belos simply parted ways with them with a GOODBYE. Not even calling them by their name, giving them one last display of 'affection', or perhaps thanking them for their 'help' to Belos. Just a truly emotionless goodbye.
And, BELOS JUST WALKED AWAY AFTER THAT. Because truly, those decades meant nothing to him. The way he so eloquently phrashed and sang out everything to flatter the kid, going along with their silly games, and reassuring them– that was in the past now.
But here's the thing with that man. HE LITERALLY CANNOT STAY CONSISTENT. Belos cannot fucking commit to, and accept that his actions have consequences, because it was obvious he immediately regretted disregarding the kid once they were freed.
As my final point, let's take a lot at the infamous "splatter" scene.
You can literally see how Belos stepped away out of fear. Because unlike the shadow boy that just lived in his basement, that could only move around his walls at most, The Collector was now freed. And what does that mean? It means that Belos fucked up BIG time. Literally as they turn to look at him, that blank look on their face told that man everything he had to know.
And of course, he immediately retracts on literally every he said before, and begins trying to appeal to the kid by twisting around his intentions.
Belos was probably just hoping they'd be gaslighted enough to just run back into his arms and accept his words, but at that moment they weren't fooled like before. The Collector knew his true intentions, and no amount of sing-songy voices and empty compliments could change that.
This analysis is quite literally getting too long LOL, it was supposed to be super short. I was planning to also analyze the Raine scenes, and compare the scenes included to seperate belos scenes, but I'll end it on a short note.
TLDR; Belos purposely changed his tone of voice, language and overall behavior to appeal to The Collector. Essentially to manipulate, desensitize and gaslight the boy to a lot of horrific things. Even then, it backfired on him in the end.
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Text
Anger Issues
When Owen first came to this new city, in this new and foreign country, he was full of hope. A fresh start in an unfamiliar land. It was an adventure! The world was his oyster, and the possibilities were endless! He had just finished university and had a degree in art history, which should make it easy for him to find work.
As it turns out, that was a lie.
For three long, grueling months, Owen tried everything to make a living in the big city. The truth was that his degree often wasn't recognized, and even when it was, he wasn't considered qualified to do the job, often without any obvious reason. The financial reserves he had were draining quickly and his hopes of finding good and fulfilling work in the new city were getting smaller and smaller every day.
"You need experience to get a job, and you can't get a job without experience". Owen never realized how true this saying was until he had stumbled into that very situation. Desperate to get out of it, he finally found an unpaid internship in a museum for ancient art. It was a really interesting field for Owen, but it turned out his tasks were mundane and not related to the exhibits at all. Instead, he was confined to a small office room to scan and sort invoices - a tedious job and hardly what Owen had studied for.
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So, one day, in his break, when he went through the exhibition as usual, a wooden figure caught his eye that was apparently brought here this morning. It depicted the torso of a man, showing a sculpted chest. The figure was cut off below the upper arms and above the legs. The face of the man was symmetrical and angelic, although frowning. Above the hair, it showed either a thick halo or some kind of hat.
Owen was inexplicably drawn towards the figure. It was well-preserved and Owen couldn't quite assign it a region or time period. Looking at the sign, Owen realized it had no information about this either. Clearly a curiosity!
Driven by his own desire for knowledge, Owen stepped closer, hoping to get a more detailed look. It was as if a faint whisper was coming from the grim statue, but that must have been his imagination. He reached out with his hand to touch the wooden surface, only to hesitate again. It was, of course, forbidden to touch the exhibits, but perhaps feeling the structure of the wood would help him understand the piece more.
As soon as he touched the surface, the whispers grew louder all of a sudden, and his fingers felt a slight jolt - but both sensations stopped immediately again.
Someone behind him was clearing his throat.
"Ahem. Owen. Do I need to remind you not to touch the exhibit?", Mr. Hastings, the director of the museum, said, looking sternly at Owen.
"Oh, no, Sir, I just thought... it might give me some better understanding..."
"Rules are rules." Mr. Hastings said, but he was smiling again.
Owen however felt a most unusual feeling bubbling up in him. At first, he didn't quite know where to put it, but it soon became very clear to him. He was angry! The rational part of his mind tried to understand why - there was no real reason. Mr. Hastings was right of course and judging by his smile, Owen really didn't have a problem. Regardless, he felt as if he had just been insulted the worst possible way. Before he could stop himself, he burst out:
"Do you know where you can put your precious rules? Fuck them! Fuck you! Fuck this whole place! You don't want me to do real work here?! Fine! I quit!"
Head steaming, Owen removed his museum badge from his jacket and threw it to the ground with such force that the plastic shattered. With another loud "Fuck you!", he ran off, leaving the befuddled Mr. Hastings behind, as well as the museum.
Only after he had walked a few blocks, Owens anger subsided somewhat. What has he been thinking? He should turn around and apologize at once!
Then again, it was an unpaid internship. Even though the way to quit this job hasn't been too professional, what was done was done - and perhaps for the better, too. He could focus on finding a better job now. There surely had to be something.
There wasn't. Owen had no better luck then before, but inexplicably, his tolerance for frustration had diminished. After the third denied application, Owen had become so angry that he actually punched a hole into the thin walls of his apartment. Alongside the anger, there had been some changes to Owen's body, as well: He seemed overall fitter and filled out his clothes better. He also found his libido increased somewhat. Where before he had jerked off perhaps once a week, he found himself hard now more and more often, and his hand was drawn to his cock even more.
Jerking off helped to cool the red hot anger somewhat that he found himself quite often in, so it was quickly becoming a daily thing. However, being constantly torn between being angry and being horny didn't leave much space for patience. His money was running dry, too, so, Owen finally accepted a job in a field that was far below his academic standards: He started a job as a fast-food cashier.
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The red "FST" uniform, as the fast food chain was called, was tight on Owen's chest, when he started his first work day. They had probably given him a smaller size, even though they said it was XL. Owen was already feeling angry about that obvious mistake, but he swallowed his anger and let himself be introduced to the cash register.
The system was overwhelmingly complex. It had like a hundred different buttons, and Owen quickly felt his head swimming. It shouldn't be so hard to understand a fast food cash register, but apparently, this one was extra complex. Just his luck!
At some point, he just nodded as the manager showed him the functions of the device. The introduction wasn't very long, only ten minutes, but Owen didn't understand a thing. You really needed a degree for that monstrosity! Still, he was expected to serve his first customer right away, pure insanity.
The first order was easy enough, a plain hamburger and a coke, and after searching the right buttons for a good two minutes, Owen managed to put in the order. However, the second customer wanted a milkshake, too, and that was the final straw. They really couldn't expect Owen to juggle such complex orders in his mind AND put them into the machine. Angrily, he shouted out in frustration and let his fist come down on the cash register with full force, again and again. Of course, the thin metal and plastic yielded to his rage and the machine broke.
"FUCK THIS FUCKING JOB!"
This was the breaking point for Owen. Everything had gone wrong since he had moved to this fucking city. No job, no money, no nothing! He tried to wriggle out of the way-too-small uniform top but ended up ripping it apart instead.
The manager ran over and pulled him from behind.
"Stop that! Stop that right now!"
"LET ME GO! I QUIT!"
"You're going nowhere! You can't leave after what you've done!"
With an angry roar, the now half-naked Owen shoved the manager against the counter with full force and stormed off. He didn't care if the manager wanted to call the police, or sue him, or whatever.
As soon as he arrived at his shabby apartment, Owen took out his laptop and started looking for jobs. He didn't get very far, though. The computer was confusing, and Owen was still feeling angry from his last job. He finally managed to pull up his favorite porn site and started watching videos.
The normal porn he usually consumed didn't do a good job of calming him down today. He needed something rougher, something more primal. The female porn stars were too weak for the sex to be stimulating, he decided.
After clicking through a few more videos, he spied a thumbnail of two guys getting at it roughly. Brilliant. When there were only men involved, the sex would be much better. They wouldn't take shit from the girls, and they'd be strong. Much more satisfying.
Seeing two men having sex brought back his cock to full erection and soon enough, Owen splattered his cum all over his muscular torso.
As the post-nut-clarity set in, Owen realized he had a problem. He needed something to channel all that rage into before it destroyed his life entirely. After some research, he decided to join a Krav Maga club.
The raw brutality of the sport helped Owen to tune off the complicated world around him and made him feel happy for the first time in weeks. He trained often and hard, quickly stacking even more muscles on his already impressive frame. Of course, Owen wasn't clever enough to grasp the techniques of the sport, so he just substituted it by raw strength. A lot of kicks and hits found their way into his face, but he was healing quickly as well. Over the course of a few weeks however, the brutality left its marks in his face. His nose looked crooked as if it had been broken and his jaw looked manly, but not exactly beautiful.
Still, joining the club was the best decision he could have made. He met some new friends, who set him up with a new job as a warehouse worker. Carrying crates and heavy barrels from one place to another was the perfect job for Owen. He didn't need to understand what he was moving, nor did he have to do any paperwork (not that he would have been able to - Owen had his trouble with letters and numbers, which left him pretty much illiterate). He just needed to do what his manager said, and he was happy for it.
Besides the Krav Maga, he found another outlet for his anger issues. Since he couldn't afford his flat anymore, Owen moved in with a couple of garbage workers he met at the warehouse. As it turned out, they, too, were gay and enjoyed it quite a lot when Owen split their cheeks roughly, not holding back one bit.
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roguishcat · 1 month
Text
Yours, if you'll have me
Summary: He found the letter on the ground between his tent and Gale’s earlier this morning. Not thinking much of it, Astarion swiped it, hoping to get a piece of juicy gossip. Gale having a secret admirer, how fun! He didn’t realise that the contents were meant for him. And from their unanimously elected leader, no less!
A/N: If you want to be tagged for future oneshots and long fics, send me a message or leave a comment. :)
Rating: Teen, for some very mild suggestive themes. Otherwise, just fluff, pure fluff.
Pairing: Astarion x female Tav
Oneshot, 2.5k
Setting: Act II
I hope this letter finds you in a better state of mind than yesterday. I wanted to tell you this in person, but I guess it is easier this way. I don’t think that I could say this to your face, so I will allow myself to be a coward.
I have admired you from afar. And not for the more obvious reasons, such as how comfortable and cared for you make others feel. Because, truth be told, I admire you most for your courage. You’ve suffered so much, but you did not lose yourself to the pain, you carry on against all odds. You are a wonderful, amazing person. I just wanted you to know how special you are. You deserve to live; deserve to have everything the world has to offer. You deserve it more than anyone. So, this isn’t a love letter, but a letter of appreciation. Because these are the words that someone should have told you a long time ago. And I hope this letter will allow you to see yourself the way I see you.
Tav
Astarion gulped, his fingers shaking a fraction as he re-read the words. He found the letter on the ground between his tent and Gale’s earlier this morning. Not thinking much of it, Astarion swiped it, hoping to get a piece of juicy gossip. Gale having a secret admirer, how fun! He didn’t realise that the contents were meant for him. And from their unanimously elected leader, no less!
She must have dropped it accidentally, or perhaps was scared off when she was delivering the message in the middle of the night. Sounded just about right for a closet hopeless romantic that Tav was.
Astarion knew that she possibly harbored some feelings for him, it was inevitable that she would fall for him, seeing as he made quite an effort in nudging her oh-so-casually in that direction. The accidental touches, the flirty remarks, pulling her flush against him when an arrow whizzed past her. You know, the usual tactics.
What he didn’t expect was this. This was more than just a bit of fun. More than just two consenting adults spending a few nights together. And he was not sure how to feel about it. Perhaps he succeeded in making her fall for him a little too well. He was just that good, apparently.
He watched Tav as their group walked along the dusty road leading from the Githyanki Crèche and to the mountain pass which they would take to Shadowlands. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. She smiled at him, but did not seek him out on purpose, seemingly treating him the same way that she would treat any of their companions. With the same warmth, the same caring.
Astarion scowled. He didn’t realise how good an actress she was. He always assumed that she wore her heart on her sleeve, but apparently it was not so. Because this was definitely not the behaviour of a person in love, not from his experience of those who claimed to love him over the years that is. And he had plenty of experience when it came to lovers.
This is not a love letter.
Oh, please. Why be so subtle about it? Where were the exaggerated, pretty flowery words? The proclamations of undying love? And whatever else that she would come up with. He would accept it all quite graciously. As it was all part of his plan, of course.
Perhaps she thought that her feelings were not reciprocated and sought to shelter herself from pain. Yes, that had to be it. Well then. He would allow her to shield herself from heartache and not mention the letter at all. Because that was the gentleman-like behaviour that probably was expected in such situations. Not that he was a gentleman, but he imagined that teasing Tav about it would not be the smart thing to do if he wanted to stay in her good graces. Because there were plenty of others who would take her off his hands in a heartbeat. Of that much he was certain. Most members of their group propositioned Tav in one way or another.
Astarion smiled smugly because as far as he was concerned their feelings didn’t matter. Not now and not ever. As long as their pretty leader only had eyes for him, he had nothing to worry about.
The Shadowlands were quite aptly named, as they soon found out. They fought their way through the screeching, howling masses of foes and finally reached the glimmering semi-transparent dome that enveloped the Last Light Inn. Choosing to camp outside and not take up lodgings within the inn itself came with its downsides, but at least being away from all the Harpers afforded a semblance of privacy.
“Astarion, come join us,” Tav said with a smile, getting ready to have dinner with the rest of the group. She shivered involuntarily, not that she felt cold. All of them felt as if they were being watched by something, the condensed darkness rolling and moving menacingly just beyond the thin shell that was protecting the inn.
“I am not sure I care for idle chatter around the campfire but do carry on if you wish. I will see you later, my dear,” Astarion said with a distracted smile, wanting to have a little time for himself before Tav came to him.
It was a routine of sorts that they fell into, her coming by his tent in the evenings and the two just spending time in each other’s company. Sometimes she stayed the night, sometimes she went back to her own tent. It was quite casual. Or so it seemed to him until he found that blasted letter.
And sure enough, she came to his tent just as the others turned in for the night. Astarion was reading, or at least pretending to read at this point.
“Can I confess something?” she plopped down next to him.
Oh. He knew this conversation was coming, but he was still caught off-guard.
“Well, of course. I am all pointy ears, dearest.”
“Gale wanted to talk to me today. I knew what it was about and I- I told him that I was not interested. I didn’t even realise that he liked me that way up until today, it kind of seemed like he was still in love with Mystra. Or at least not ready for a new relationship.”
Astarion scoffed. Gale’s pining and artless flirting with Tav, or rather at Tav, did not go unnoticed in the camp. Of course she would be clueless. The sweet, inexperienced Tav. Well, not that inexperienced now. She did spend several mind-shattering, unforgettable nights with him, after all.
“Actually, there is another reason I am glad that he said nothing until today. A while ago, when we first started travelling together, I wrote him a letter which I never sent.”
He froze.
“Did you now? A love letter?” Astarion commended himself on sounding nonchalant because he felt anything but. He did not want her to keep speaking but could not think of anything to say to make her stop.
“No, nothing like that,” she laughed. “I just- he told me about the orb that day, about how he was prepared to die to make it all right. So I wanted him to know that somebody cared. But it was just a silly letter, I suppose. I am glad that no one saw it.”
“It was not just a silly letter,” he swallowed, his throat feeling tight. “At least not to me. I found it and I- I thought it was meant for me.”
Tav looked at him wide-eyed and unblinking, her hand coming to rest on top of his.
“It’s not a big deal,” he laughed, trying to brush it off as inconsequential, “you really should label these things better in the future, darling. I- do excuse me,” he suddenly had the urge to be elsewhere, anywhere but here.
It was stupid. It was completely idiotic. Yes, the letter was never meant for him, and sure, those words were meant for another. It was not a big deal, really. In a way, it made everything easier. Their trysts would come to an end, true. Tav did not seem experienced enough to take on more than one lover. And even if she offered, there was no way that he was sharing her with Gale.
The worst of it was that on some level he knew that those words were never meant for him. He was always admired for his looks, never for more than his looks. It was foolish of him to assume that Tav was any different. That she would want something more with him.
He came back a while later, finding Tav gone and a letter set neatly on his pillow. He picked it up and reluctantly opened it.
Dear Astarion,
I didn’t know much about you until very recently, when you finally started opening up about your past. But now that I do know, let me tell you how I see you.
You are the most aggravating person I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. Truly, I don’t understand you at all sometimes! You can be hurtful and condescending, and I never quite know what’s on your mind.
Well, this wasn’t exactly a good start. Astarion almost didn’t want to read on, but his damnable curiosity compelled him to continue. He wanted to know what else she had to say.
And do you know what’s the most annoying thing about you? How you leave without letting me finish what I had to say! Because if you did stay, I would actually finish confessing about how much I care about you.
I can’t say that this is love, although I’m not exactly a great judge of that, I’ve never been in love before. But I think about you all the time. About how much I love seeing you smile. Not the fake come-hither smiles, but proper real ones, the ones that reach your eyes.
I love seeing you in battle. I think I’d be too much of a coward to say it to your face, but seeing the intensity and ferociousness with which you wield your rapier is just so- (Okay, I’ve just reread that line and I know how you’re going to smirk and make fun of me for writing this, but there’s no way I’m crossing this out).
He snorted. Wield his rapier. He would have to remember to tease her about this later.
I love how meticulously you care for your things, taking such pride in your appearance. Not that you need to. You are the handsomest, most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on, but you probably already know I feel this way. When you are around, no matter how much I want to pay attention and focus on what others are telling me, my mind wanders as I think of you.
I love it when you let me stay in your tent and I get to hold you in my arms as I fall asleep, it feels like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Although there is the small issue of the tadpole, the Absolute, and all other murder-happy bastards that are hunting us down, somehow in these moments when it is just us two, I feel safe.
I know that you probably don’t feel the same. You said so yourself, that this was just a bit of fun. So, this isn’t a love letter. I don’t want to pressure you into anything. But these are the words that I should have told you a while ago, even though I know that my feelings will not be reciprocated.
You deserve more, so much more that I can offer you, but, if anything, I hope my words will allow you to see yourself the way I see you.
Yours, if you’ll have me,
Tav
Astarion licked his lips and folded the letter up with shaking fingers. He was not used to this. This raw honesty and emotion. But then again, what else did he expect from her? She was a foolish, silly creature, so careless with her heart. Because falling for him and trusting him was an objectively stupid thing to do. He was almost tempted to march straight to her tent and tell her exactly how much of an idiot she was to write him this- this- He wasn’t even sure what to call this.
He allowed himself a humorless laugh. Because he knew that he was being a coward. The ball was in his court now. She did her part, and it was up to him to tell her how he felt. But tell her what exactly?
She stated it quite clearly that she did not expect anything in return. The sweet, selfless fool that she was. She just wanted him to let her care for him. It wasn’t much to ask. In fact, it was the bare minimum. It was much less than she deserved. Yes, the right thing to do now was to smile, thank her and tell her that they had their fun and it was time to end this. They were best of as comrades in arms, as friends. Sure, Tav would be upset for a while, but not for too long. There would be many who would most enthusiastically offer to warm her bedroll and more.
And thus, armed with the noble intent of letting her go, Astarion stood and opened the flap of his tent. The camp was quiet, all lights were out, even the light in her tent. But Astarion could hear the staccato of Tav’s heart, no doubt turning restlessly in her bedroll, wondering what he thought of her confession.
He slipped quietly into her tent and lay down next to her, strong arms snaking around her middle and pulling her close. He buried his face in her hair and took a deep breath before moving it aside to lay a kiss on the back of her neck. He felt her release a shuddering breath and gradually relax. And apparently it was just that easy. They didn’t have to say anything. And whatever noble intentions of letting Tav go to a more deserving lover he had prior to coming to her tent were now squashed by a selfish desire to have her all to himself. He was never a benevolent, altruistic person in the past, so why start now?
Tomorrow.
He would tell her tomorrow. All of it. About his plan, about his great, foolproof plan that fell through so spectacularly. And then he would hope that she would have him even after knowing the full extent of his deceit. Because although this was not love, it couldn’t possibly be, he wanted to find out where it would lead them. He needed to find out what this was. And if this was his only chance of findings happiness, he would be damned if he let her go to another.
@ayselluna
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single-malt-scotch · 3 months
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Given we are two episodes in to bdubs this HC seasons I will ramble a tad about his format this season and the timeline/comparisons to past ones!
Let's talk in parts for a second. For thumbnails. I didn't really know what to expect tbh. He's been going more minimalist in thumbnails for a while now- HC S9 and Create have very simple thumbnails very focus on the builds (if they occur in the HC video). Go from season 7 HC to now and they've changed a Lot. S8 was simple too if you take away the color overlay. But S10 is mega simple. There isn't even a title on the thumbnails!
Then intros. S7 and S8 would randomly have an intro of "welcome to hermitcraft!" And sometimes none at all. S9 started "welcome to hoymicraf" (how do we spell this) consistently. Additionally all those seasons had some intros beginning with some third person camera to start a scene (more consistent as time went), or without that intro in season 7, 8 and 10 we'd also just start in first pov while bdubs is already in action. Additionally intro music was always very energetic, and so far what we heard in his first s10 intro (and based off the time lapses) we are getting something way more chill. Ep2's intro is one of those exceptions for the specific scenarios that happen sometimes. The choice of situational music.
General editing? Kinda crossed over with intros here because intros have very blatant editing with music and camera etc. Tbh the biggest thing to any season is music choice, which changes how things feel entirely. Past seasons had faster paced songs in intros and many building segments had orchestral, so on. The way those building segments play out has slowly turned into bdubs cutting it up to fit the beat of music, which is most apparent now in S10 and bwb S3. For S10 I feel like this enunciates the calm music even more as it puts emphasis on what is the louder/more striking note of the song. Through S10 episodes right now we have seen more use of replay mod in more than just the intro. Usually wide shots with music. Thought out compositions and wide shots often showing scale of things around him. Even purposefully taking moments to stop and pause and linger on the shot. Definitely more cinematic, and completely different with his it slows down.
It is interesting to see what some people might feel is a total 180! Considering I have seen the flow of his format for so long "slow" is not unfamiliar but because he has grown so much as a commentator he handles this very well. It's not "old inexperienced commentator" slow. Because you can tell if you pay attention he isn't different from who he has been in recent years. He's always the same and going this direction is done w the same level of development and experience. Hes still silly, he's still got energy. It's just presentation! It feels different a lot by how he's editing.
Even so it makes me wonder Why. Was his previous loud style and high energy more aimed at when his kids were just born and very little, and he had an obvious shift to making his videos possibly more appealing to children and be child appropriate? Has he 'mellowed out' for any particular reason? If you watch him a lot, especially his Livestreams (the member ones rly) bdubs thinks hard about his building skills. He is genuinely an artist aiming to improve every day and I think he's gotten a lot back into really expressing his thoughts and feelings regarding the art. It's been a gradual focus returning I have seen. Perhaps he has decided to lean into this more on purpose, and in doing so that shifts his focus away from what people felt was "childish" acting. But it's important to remember, as a bdubs lover, the analysis here isn't actually one to say he's "changed" because he hasn't. As a content creator he knows what he's going for and to some level has consciously made these changes. We still got bdubs, he's just doing it different. And honestly if you were turned off by the energy of S9, I highly recommend giving this season a watch if you want something more artistic, and good discussion about building process.
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shkika · 3 months
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So I've been hurting my brain thinking about this, and since you seem to be an absolute lore god about this game I thought I'd ask you for theories.
So NSH, out of the 4 canon designs you see in game, has the fanciest clothes of them, I mean he has a scarf and embroidery (I assume based on the sleeves) while the others just have a simple poncho.
Based on SRS' concept art mentioning that they wear a simple poncho to indicate a similar age to Moon and Pebbles, I assumed that NSH maybe was the youngest of the 4 and that newer iterators had more complex clothes. But based on how he speaks about being angsty as well in the begginning, comparing himself to Pebbles current behaviour it makes me think that maybe that wasn't the case. Maybe it's the other way around and older iterator have more complex clothing designs, but then it doesn't make sense how Moon is the group senior and he isn't.
Maybe I am just reading too much into it and it's just a matter of his creators giving him something more stylish.
ps. I love your iterator designs.
LORE GOD??? That is so funny that's an insane thing to call me, I'm very honored to receive this title. Though I am just a little guy that loves this game too much!
Anyway sure let's talk about that! I cannot say for certain what ponchos are based on design wise, but I can speculate and in this ramble I will also go over some iterator age shenanigans.
Ramble below!!
Let's go over ages first. Moon is easy to pin point as the oldest in the group. She existed when iterators were few in numbers and has the bad case of "we didn't think that far ahead" so she has some problems.
I'd put Suns after her if we keep the intent of their concept art being a vaguely similar age to LTTM. I think that is a very neat idea and it ties well with their parallels that they have in game. Aside the obvious Sun and Moon dynamic, they are both mentors to Pebbles. (sidetracked but it is quite funny how you could say Pebbles flew too close to the Sun it's quite funny. I would assume that's why SRS is named that)
We have no canon or out of game or pretty much any evidence (as far as I know) for either NSH or CW, but for convenience sake I'll put them after SRS.
Then actually I'd put Pebbles. I know he is often made out to be the youngest iterator and perhaps I am missing something. But even though he is much younger than the rest of the group , given how NSH speaks about him.
And I'd place Innocence as the youngest. She's not important in this exact ramble, because she has no canon design, but I know there are some people that might disagree with me?
The reason I think so is because The House of Braids (That you can see on FP playing Artis campaign) is well on Pebbles. So he needs to exist for the pearl to exist.
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And this ancient from the House of Braids has apparently donated all their possessions to that project. The unbuilt UI.
Alright talked about their ages. So clothing? Well I don't have much solid evidence sadly. As underwhelming as that proobably is. You can take it two ways though!
You can discard what is being said on the concept art (as concepts can come and go when creating characters) and say that clothing has nothing to do with when an iterator was made and more so with the individual colony that built them. Colonies can be VERY distinct as we can tell from some of the broadcasts in Spears campaign. It'd make sense.
Or if you want to keep the ages= type of robe concept, you could say FP is an exception as he was made to be in Moon's likeness or by the same colony as Moon. So they wanted them to be similar.
Personally I find it funny if NSH just told his creators that he too wanted to be a fashion icon.
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dullahan-of-woe · 3 months
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Musical Guide to Evil
It took us way to long to figure it out but we've finally grasped enough to piece together something coherent about music in the Practical Guide to Evil. How it took us four re-reads to notice it I have no idea, but better late than never?
The Guide comes with its own internal leitmotivs, songs that make an appearance paired together with a story, and once you realize it the songs stop being just a part of the setting and become another option in the narrative toolbox.
Songs live and die alongside the stories they represent, in the Practical Guide to Evil.
The Legionaries Song makes an appearance in the first chapter, and with it, so does the story of the Legions of Terror, the armies that devastated the Callowan forces, and spearheaded the Conquest. So much so that Catherine herself is at that point dead set on attending the War College to learn from a dangerous enemy. They are strong, and the song establishes that.
The last mention of the Legionaries Song takes place right after the Battle of Kala and at this point the Legions have shattered against each other, the machine of war turned against itself, and when the song is sung then it is bitter and weary, the last notes of the Legions' story, finally slain.
Most obvious is the Girl who Climbed the Tower, which is sticks in the mind of...apparently every claimant to the title of Dread Emperor? I'm guessing it comes back so many times in the Guide because the story of the Dread Emperor is a very old one, so the groove it is set in is deep like few others. From Black hearing it even at his low point at the end of Book 5 to Catherine humming it even in Book 2 after she extorts the High Lords; and of course Akua hearing for half the story.
Which brings me to perhaps the best use of these songs as a narrative tool. When Akua, having seemingly turned coat and half-heartedly plotting in Ater in Book 7, wonders with increasing desperation: "Why wasn't I hearing the damn song!!!?"
Because you've been hearing the leitmotiv for your current story of redemption for a few books now and you haven't even realized, girl. Or did you think the Tyranny of the Sun was stuck in your head for years for no reason?
Other examples coming to mind are the Fox is King when Catherine is dueling the Wandering Bard in the Arsenal in Book 6 (it's even lampshaded and we missed it the first three times...)...She even weaponizes that by lying about it to the Bard.
One of our favorites has to be related to Cordelia Hasenbach. She notably rejects the story, or at least the Role associated with it, but Too Many Cooks is mentioned or alluded to at least twice when she is putting the screws on the Princes. It might very well be a leitmotiv to the story of the First Prince if she had picked the name in Book 5 during the Salia plots.
I think that's all of them but there are a few songs which we couldn't fit within that theory, so...well, if you have takes I for one am curious!
Also there needs to be a melody for ALL OF THESE, like, YESTERDAY.
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