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luxekook · 4 years

Text

in too deep ☼ knj

☼ dedication: this fic is a bday present for the loml tay aka tay bay bay aka @interludemoonchild!!!! luv u long time <33 (sorry this isn’t about hobi skksksks)

☼ pairing: marine biologist namjoon x assistant reader

☼ genre: idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, crack

☼ summary: you had always grown up being told tales of terrible jobs with tyrannical bosses. but now, you’re left to wonder why you hadn’t heard more tragic stories of all-too-wonderful jobs with all-too-beautiful bosses... did falling for your boss only lead to heartbreak and a two weeks’ notice? or could it yield the possibility of romance?

☼ word count: 3.1k

☼ warnings: pg15, cursing, chaotic energy, pining, miscommunication, mentions of quitting, lots of sea nerd stuff, namjoon is smart af but an idiot in love, the reader isn’t any better, crabby bois, arguments, completely cheesy fluff, short make out sesh, mention of sex

☼ banner creator: heathy bby @shadowsremedy

☼ beta reader: the amazing and astoundingly talented phia @meowxyoong

“Kim Namjoon!” You cry, swatting the blue-clawed crab away from your feet with a broom, “What did I tell you about bringing your goddamn crustaceans into the office?”

The man in question hustles out of his office looking disheveled, “You’ve seen Carl?” He sinks right down to his hands and knees to peer under your desk. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, little buddy!”

You stare disappointedly as your boss picks up ‘Carl’ from his hiding place and cradles him to his chest. “Namjoon,” You sigh exasperatedly, folding your arms.

He looks up at you and blushes, “Sorry, Star. I just feel so bad leaving them downstairs at the lab. It’s so lonely and dark down there.”

While your stomach flips at the mention of his nickname for you, your eyebrows furrow in confusion, “Well, why don’t you just stay down there with them?”

“Because you’re up here…” He mumbles something incoherent.

“What?” You lean forwards, your ears straining to catch the garbled syllables.

Namjoon clears his throat, looking everywhere but at you, “Because it’s nicer up here.”

“Don’t tell your investors that,” You laugh, thinking of all the fancy and shiny equipment housed in the aquatics lab a few floors below. Working for a top-tier marine biologist sure had its perks - namely the state of the art kitchen with a full espresso bar.

“Star, I would never!” He looks affronted by the mere mention of such a thing. “Now, apologize to Carl for scaring him.”

You scoff, but just one glance into Namjoon’s sparkling brown eyes makes you crumble instantly. “Fine,” You begrudgingly shoot the crab a look, “Sorry, Carl.”

“See, Carl?” Namjoon croons, “She’s sorry!” As he turns back to you, you can immediately tell he is about to launch into Marine Biologist Mode™.

“Carl is a blue crab - a Callinectes sapidus, to be precise. That scientific name literally means ‘savory beautiful swimmer’.”

“Savory, huh?” You quip, relishing in the scandalized look Namjoon shoots you.

“Don’t listen to her, Carl,” He whispers, stroking a finger gently down the crab’s shell. “Now, where was I? Ah, yes… He’s named for his pretty sapphire-tinted claws, and he’s one of the most harvested species of his kind. So, don’t even think about it.”

You burst out laughing as he eyes you, “Okay, Joon, I’ll leave my pot of boiling water at home.”

Namjoon splutters out a choked laugh, looking at you like you are the most exasperating thing he’s ever come across. And, you probably are.

When you came to work for the distinguished marine biologist four months ago, you found him literally buried beneath piles of research papers, files, and National Geographic magazines. Apparently, he had tripped into his filing cabinet and everything had fallen off of the shelves onto him. The man had been a right mess. It was no wonder he had put an ad out in search of an assistant.

In your new role, you slowly but surely introduced some structure and organization into Namjoon’s life as best you could. The first thing you did was update his office. The man still had an honest to god lava lamp on his desk. You were still baffled at how he had managed not to break the fixture before your arrival.

Swiftly following the disposal of the cursed lava lamp, you ordered new file cabinets - and had them nailed to the wall. Virtually, you did even more. You restructured his online platforms and updated his schedule to include more than just scattered notes like “Meeting at 10AM, i think? Or was it 10PM?”

To his credit, Namjoon adhered to most of your suggestions and changes, but apparently he still refused to grasp the ‘no creatures in the office’ rule.

Overall, Namjoon was a great boss - kind, understanding, sweet, and a tad eccentric. His love for all things sea-related shone through the gentle way he handled his specimens, the passionate tone of voice he used while speaking on any related topic, and the stars in his eyes at the mere mention of discovering a new species.

It had been all too easy to become infatuated with him. Especially when he called you “Star” and left you to interpret the meaning on your own.

You remember the exact moment that you fell in love with him so vividly. It had been last month, just three months into working for him. Namjoon had been going off about fucking sand of all things.

“…Sand speaks of history, of science, of travels. Each grain of sand holds thousands upon thousands of years of movement, of erosion. For example, the beach outside of this building is tan because of the iron oxide tinting the quartz and the feldspar to a light brown color. But, there are other beaches that are black, white and even pink in color! It’s fascinating! And to quote the goddess of marine biology Rachel Carson: "In every curving beach, in every grain of sand, there is a story of the Earth…”

Yeah, you are head over heels for your boss. And that’s why you needed to quit.

The end of the workday arrives too quickly - a common theme it seems when you love what you do and who you work for. Namjoon walks beside you down to the parking lot. You sneak a glance at his face and note that he seems deep in thought.

Your mind slips to the image of you and Namjoon going home together to a shared house overrun with fish tanks and models of sharks. It’s all too easy to picture, and all too painful to acknowledge the impossibility.

“Star,” Namjoon’s voice jolts you from your fantasy. You blink up at him, realizing you’re both stopped beside your adjacent cars. Namjoon smiles at you, “I’ll see you tomorrow? It’ll be Friday, finally...”

It seems like he wants to say more but stops himself for some reason. You pause, waiting for him to continue, but he just blushes and brings a hand to the back of his neck bashfully.

“Yeah, Friday,” Your tone is less enthusiastic. You planned to hand in your two weeks’ notice tomorrow. It’s a complete strategy on your part so that you can have the whole weekend to cry and shove at least one gallon of ice cream down your throat.

You wave goodbye to each other and enter your respective cars. You watch Namjoon pull out of the parking lot before you and pause to rest your forehead on your steering wheel. You were so screwed.

Twenty-four exhausting hours later, you find yourself with your fist poised over Namjoon’s wooden office door. Are you actually doing this? Are you really going to quit the only job you’d ever loved?

Yes, you are. You love Namjoon too much to stay here surrounded by his charisma and his beauty. You love him too much to try to complicate his workspace, his sacred ground. You love him too much to ask him to blur the lines of colleague and lover.

You need to leave - for his sake and for yours. It isn’t like he still needs you. He has been following your routine with vigor and always keeps his office organized now. Your tasks have been dwindling for weeks.

It’s time to move on. God, even the tension today had been off the charts with you and Namjoon skirting around each other like you were both walking on eggshells. Clearly, he is also feeling like you are in the way.

With that in mind, you straighten your shoulders and finally knock on the door.

Your ears strain for any sign of an answer. Your breath catches in your throat as you try to sustain the meager amount of courage you had mustered up inside you. Twisting open the handle, you push the door open and are immediately met with an empty office. Damn, he must be downstairs.

You chuckle at the sheer idiocy of your panicked state over knocking on an empty office door.

This is perfect anyways. You can hand Namjoon your two weeks’ and then evacuate the building in one sweep. Shutting down your computer and grabbing your things, you trudge out of the room and towards the stairs.

The journey downwards seems akin to walking the plank as you take each step slowly, dreading the inevitable.

Ciara has it all wrong: you do not love it when you One, Two Step.

The entrance to the lab looms overhead. The steel double doors look more like the gateway to hell rather than a nice entrance to a marine facility. You don’t break your stride as you march through the doors. If you had, you might not have kept going.

The familiar light humming of the tank filters meets your ears as you peer around the rows of shelves containing colorful fish and scuttling critters.

“Joon?” You call, the nickname slipping past your lips before you can stop it.

“Back here, Star!” His answer sounds from the very back of the lab. Of course, that’s where the crabs are housed.

You make your way past the tanks of clownfish and the pools of stingrays to where Namjoon sits hunched over the shallow tank containing four green-tinted crabs.

“That’s it, Nala.” Namjoon croons as the smallest of the four crabs swims around the tank, “You show your brothers how fast you are.”

“Talking to your subjects again, boss?” You can’t help but tease the man you've grown to love as he fawns over his work.

Namjoon blushes slightly and nods, pushing his glasses up to rest on the bridge of his nose, “Studies have shown that it helps them develop.”

“I thought that was humans?” You say, shifting your weight back and forth. The letter in your hand seems to burn more each second you hold onto it. You couldn't take it anymore.

As Namjoon opens his mouth to reply, you thrust the letter into his chest and say, “Never mind. This is for you. Please read it later.”

With that, you fast-walk your way back to the entrance of the lab. The sound of the envelope tearing open only forces you faster. Fuck, it had been idiotic of you to assume that he would actually listen to you and open it later. Namjoon is as impatient as they come. Of course he wouldn't wait.

“Star!” His strangled call startles you, “What is this?”

“We can talk about it on Monday!” You reply, somehow already close to tears. Why is this godforsaken lab so big? You pace down the aisles of tanks and breathe a sigh of relief as the exit comes into view.

Then, Namjoon comes barreling around the corner, cutting off your escape. The man looks baffled as he clutches your written resignation in his hands. His chest heaves as he holds the torn pages out towards you, “What. Is. This. Star?”

You bristle. I guess we’re doing this now, you thought. Stiffening your shoulders, you muster all the false bravado you can manage, “It’s my two weeks’ notice, Namjoon. I’m sure a smart guy like you can read.”

“Okay, allow me to rephrase,” Namjoon stalks towards you, tossing the crumpled letter over his shoulder. “Why did you give me this?”

“The letter explains everything,” Your eyes dart around, both in search of a viable escape and in avoidance of his intensity.

“Sure it does,” He scoffs, his eyes blazing with disbelief. “I want to hear it from you.”

Your back hits the cool glass of the tank behind you. You’re trapped between the contrasting temperatures of the water and Namjoon’s body.

“Joon,” Your voice shakes, “You don’t need me anymore. You’ve done everything I've asked of you and then some. You’re organized. You’re on time. You’re put together. I barely have enough tasks now to fill a day, let alone a week. It’s time to move on.”

“Time to move on?” Namjoon echoes before barking out a humorless laugh, “I don’t need you anymore? That’s really what you think, Star?”

“Don’t call me that.” The nickname snufs out any trace of fight left inside you, and you plead, “Just let me go, Joon.”

“Never,” He growls.

“I don’t understand what you’re not getting,” You sigh, exasperated and drained, “You’ve surpassed my expectations and erased the need for my position. I think the saying ‘the student has become the master’ applies here.”

Namjoon gapes at you before he snaps, “You’re the one who’s not getting it! Have you ever considered that the student might just be in love with the teacher?”

Joon rakes a hand through his hair as you become the one to gape open mouthed at the frustrated man.

He continues, “I wake up earlier every damn day because I can’t wait to see you at work. I organize all of my things because I just want to see you smile at me when you notice. I spend an hour each night picking out what to wear the next day because I want to impress you… Don’t you see? Everything I do is for you, is because of you. I want to be the best version of myself for you.”

Your mind struggles to compute the seemingly impossible notion that the object of your affections returns your love. “Did you,” You gasp out, “Just say that you loved me?”

“Yes, you complete jellyfish! I love you. I am in love with you! And it’s not like it’s not obvious! I call you ‘Star’ because you are my starfish, my sea star. You are the one who keeps the balance to my ecosystem of chaos. You are the key species that keeps everything afloat.”

“And you thought that was obvious?” You yell back at him, “How on earth would I immediately have known the intense analysis behind your nickname for me, Namjoon the science buffoon?” You huff, scrambling to process the amount of information that had just been thrown at you.

He needed you?

He loved you back?

He nicknamed you after a fucking marine invertebrate?!

Namjoon blinks in surprise, “Did you just insult me with a Bill Nye pun?” You don’t deign to give him a response. Namjoon chuckles before grinning sheepishly, “Okay, fine. You make a good point.”

“I know I do,” You pout. “You can’t just spring this on me, Joon. Why haven't you told me this before?”

“Because I was nervous that you would leave me, that you wouldn't return my feelings. Obviously, the first point is moot. What about the second?”

“You’re asking if I love you back?” Your body sags against the tank behind you, “How could I not, you crab-loving, walking mess of a—”

Namjoon captures your mouth with his, kissing you with fervor. His hands wind their way up to cradle your face between them like you are the most precious thing to him.

Pulling back slightly, Namjoon rasps out, “So, you’ll stay?”

“Hm, I don’t know,” You crack a wry smile, “What’s in it for me?”

“Well, let me show you,” Namjoon replies before whipping his shirt off. You gape open mouthed at the expanse of beautiful tan skin in front of you.

Was that a hint of a tattoo swirling over his left shoulder?

He reaches down to tug at the hem of your dress, insinuating he wants it off. A nice concept in theory; however, with one look around at your surroundings, you slap his hand away. “Namjoon! Not in front of the fish!”

“But, Star, these aren’t fish! These are squid, and they are classed as cephalopods—”

You put a hand over his mouth, “Allow me to clarify: I will only fuck in a creature-free zone.”

Namjoon murmurs something beneath your palm. You give him a warning look before removing your hand. He immediately repeats himself, “My office?”

Your eyes narrow, “I know for a fact you have at least three crabs in there.”

Namjoon pauses, looking suspiciously shifty, “There are only seven…”

You wait for it.

“...teen.” He finishes.

“Kim Namjoon!”

Two Years Later

The short walk down the aisle ends too quickly as you find yourself standing in front of a teary-eyed Namjoon. Five of his friends stand behind him in a row, while the sixth stands proudly as the officiant.

They really are out here looking like a whole boy band, you muse. But, you only have eyes for their leader.

Namjoon stands before you, all tall and handsome in his tux; and as Officiant Jin™ begins the ceremony, you can't help but wonder how you got so lucky.

Finally, the ring exchange is introduced dramatically by Seokjin who spouts something about circles and never ending love. “Let us now have the rings brought forward and presented by the ring-bearer!” He booms, raising his arms up like he is summoning a great force.

Ring-bearer? You rake your mind for a prior mention of a ring-bearer… You thought Yoongi as the best man would have the rings.

Suddenly, Namjoon produces a silver whistle from his pocket and blows it once. You stare at your soon-to-be husband like he has sprouted another head.

And then you hear it: the sound of legs and claws scuttling across the floor towards the altar.

“Tell me that is not what I think it is,” You whisper-yell over to Namjoon, who looks way too pleased for your liking.

Your fears and exasperations come true as Namjoon swoops down to pick up Carl who has two shiny rings tied to his shell with a ribbon.

“Oh, Kim Namjoon,” You sigh as you watch him remove the rings from Carl and hand the crab off to a disgruntled Taehyung, “What am I going to do with you?”

“You’re going to marry me,” Namjoon grins.

And marry him you did.

a/n: jellyfish have no brains, lolz. idk why making joon call the reader a jellyfish made me crack tf up but IT DID.

#bangtanhq #ficswithluv #btswriterscollective #btswritingcafe #hyunglinenetwork #kwritersworldnet #bangtanarmynet #btsbookclub #btsnoonanet #hyungsmutsociety #maknaesmutsociety #bangtanscenery #kim namjoon x reader #namjoon x reader #knj x reader #bts #namjoon fanfic #bts fanfic #happy bday tay!!!!!

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fencesandfrogs · 3 years

Text

hi my name is matthew and i have some thoughts about haes

okay disclaimers: i’m a little jumpy around the subject so while i don’t feel i’m being unnecessarily harsh/unfair, if ur firm on haes w no yielding, and you don’t want to argue about it? either skip this or don’t respond. i don’t really care. but i’m putting the body under a read more.

[3k words, 10 minute read. sections headers, some text italicized for emphasis/some readibility. no images/videos, a few links.]

second disclaimer: i’m not planning on going heavy on sources. i will happily provide sources to people who want them, and i haven’t written the actual post yet but it’s unlike me not to cite anything, but doing an in depth well researched and sourced post on this type of subject is not something i’m up for right now.

like i said, i’m jumpy around this subject. and on the off chance someone decides this post is Bad and i must be banished to the Bad Blogs Bin, i’d rather not put a lot of work into it.

third disclaimer: i’m not particularly interested in reading X study that says actually no people who way 700 pounds are healthy and people who weigh less than 200 are going to die early deaths. i know that’s a straw man i needed to a) get it out of the way now and b) i just am tired all the time and don’t have a ton of itme for it. that said, if you do send one to me, i will probably read it at some point, and i may or may not provide my thoughts.

right then. moving on.

with no more waffling, my thesis is as follows: weight stigma is bad, however obesity is killing people and i really would like people to stop pretending it doesn’t.

i. really hate that that’s a controversial opinion. i mean i hold a decent number of somewhat controversial opinions, most of which i keep to myself because i’m a firm believer that what i think about something should not interfere with how other people live their lives. as a noncontroversial example, i think mormons are in a cult. children, being minors, being indoctrinated is a problem, one i myself am not dedicated to solving because i have other issues but as far as adults involved, that’s their business.

(*please note that i’m not expanding on my thoughts because this post is about haes but i do have a more complicated opinion i’m just trying to demonstrate something please don’t at me about cults i know that they’re bad and adults in them also need help getting out that’s not the point of this post & i’m anxious enough so like, please.)

anyway so. obesity. is bad. it is bad for your health. if you are obese, you are not healthy. that said, i am not going to tell you to lose weight. no one should tell you to lose weight except for your doctor and maybe your immediate family, and that should be from a place of “you are not living your best life and i care about you.” i, an internet stranger, along with pretty much everyone you know, does not get to tell you about how terrible your life is and what a horrible person you are for existing, because you are not a bad person for being overweight. you do not deserve discrimination or mistreatment. even if you’re not actively trying to lose weight. it doesn’t matter. you are a human being like any other and i will fight like hell for you.

i’m not planning on going heavy into eating disorders because a) that’s a triggering topic for me and b) it’s going to muddle the point i’m getting, but since it is a large part of the arguments re. haes, it’s certainly going to come up, so i’d like to list the officially recognized eating disorders.

Anorexia Nervosa (AN)

Bulimia Nervosa (BN)

Binge Eating Disorder (BED)

Other Specified Feeding and Eating Disorder (OSFED)

Pica

Rumination Disorder

Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID)

Unspecified Feeding or Eating Disorder (UFED)

Other (aka “we are considering making this its own category but for matthew’s purposes it fits into AFRID or UFED well enough because the details aren’t important”)

so yeah. we’ll circle back to this.

section one: haes

haes initially stood for heatlh at every size. that doesn’t really matter anymore because people say healthy at every size now, however, the distinction is important. because.

okay. when i say being obese makes you inherently unhealthy, i am not saying you are having health problems for being overweight. i am saying you have a chronic illness. i have asthma. that makes me inherently unhealthy. i don’t necessarily have an health problems because i am asthmatic, but i have a chronic illness and it certainly would, say, make me more likely to die from covid. that is a fact. saying healthy at every lung functionality would not change that.

but you know, i can still be active and like smell plants and interact in the world like anyone else. i just try to keep my inhaler near by.

so similarly, if you are overweight/obese (i’ve been saying only obese because its less letters so i’m sticking with that), you can, like, live ur best life and take care of your health. you can feel good about your body and eat good food and move and again, i really don’t want anyone reading this to feel that i think everyone who’s obese needs to lose that weight because adults can do whatever they want.

what i’m angry about is that a good thing (encouraging people to make good choices no matter what so they can feel good in their bodies) got turned into a bad thing (telling people they don’t need to change what they’re doing because they’re perfectly healthy).

section two: but what about...?

see my third disclaimer. but as a fast rundown of things i probably won’t talk about in detail later:

the obesity paradox is a specific thing about a specific type of illness in the elderly. it’s also not about obesity, it’s about being slightly overweight. it’s a complicated thing, but it’s not true most of the time

sumo wrestlers have major health problems as soon as they stop exercising like crazy.

did you know there are countries where girls are force fed to become overweight? diet culture goes both ways

if you want to say healthy at every size, you have to mean that every. that means you are not allowed to say shit about underweight people. i’m sorry, is someone you care about wasting away? are they 5′10 and weigh 90 pounds and their hair is falling out because they aren’t eating? i’m sorry, you said people are healthy at every size. you can’t make fun of skinny people. you have to suck it up because you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

section three: self care

a hypothetical that is blindingly obvious to where i’m going: if a small child wants to play with a knife, are you caring for them by giving into it? what if they want to drink some vodka? what if they want to run away from home to live with a stranger in a white van?

i really really hope all those answers are “no, you’re neglecting that child, and also possibly actively harming it.”

so my point is pretty obvious: giving yourself something because you want it does not mean you are caring for yourself.

you know what i want to do all the time? sleep and rewatch twilight every day. but that makes me feel worse. so even though it’s terrible and i hate it, i have to take care of myself (because there is only one of me that i ever get) and go outside and talk to people and eat something that isn’t popcorn because you need protein to live.

(sorry i tried to keep nutrition out of that but i have to actively seek out sufficient salt and protein due to my campus doing a lot of low sodium food, which is bad when u actually need to eat a good amount of salt to keep ur body working, and also i’m vegetarian. so i’m constantly making myself seek it out.)

that doesn’t mean self care is always supposed to be work, but i mean. i’ve always not really gotten into it. i think because i’m hella depressed and i’ve been depressed long enough i can recognize it as this separate entity when it comes to a lot of the mental stuff. like, why do i feel like everything is meaningless? that’s just the depression.

but i digress, this isn’t about me. [proceeds to talk about me again]

one phrase i like a lot for myself is “bad food makes me feel bad.” now, i’m not a fan of putting moral judgements to food. but this works for me, personally. sure, eating a bunch of ice cream right now is good, but it’s going to suck when my stomach flips the fuck out because of all the sugar. and so it seems quite obvious to me that eating that ice cream is not, in fact, caring for my body.

and i think we’d collectively be a bit better served if we could learn to distinguish between self-care and self-kindness. ask anyone who does caregiving (childcare, nurses, etc): it is hard, often thankless (at least for children they’re devils who don’t realize that their toys will get wrecked if they don’t pick them up) work. you care for them not by doing what they want, but what is best for them.

section four: diet culture

as i’ve already played my hand up above with underweight vs haes, i think it’s kind of obvious that i have strong feelings about underweight not being healthy also. so i just want to take stock of what is and isn’t diet culture, and what i think about it. this is probably the most subjective part of this essay.

things i think are diet culture

people trying ridiculous diets. obviously diet culture in the purest sense. it’s real dumb. you need all the food groups to live. sometimes it’s okay, like cutting out sugar, but i’d say its a net negative

not trying to do lifestyle changes. that’s the sustainable way to lose weight. so. yeah.

weight cycling. actually still up for debate if this is bad. this paper says no, along with a lot of others, but i’m not sitting down and reading through all of them, and all of the ones that say its bad, to offer my opinion. i’m leaning towards “it’s better than nothing,” but we’ll see

a lot of other stuff i’m doing this off the top of my head and trying to avoid issues w eating disorders so.

things i think aren’t diet culture

women being pressured to look a certain way. that’s been going on for a long time. being skinny used to be bad. it’s a fact of the patriarchy.

most things? idk i have this impression that like, anyone exercising or eating healthy is a part of diet culture, when in reality, people just have different lifestyles. (also, again, if you’re going with haes, as in HealthyAES (hyaes?) you can’t call it unhealthy or you’re not respecting that damn E)

in conclusion: diet culture has issues, but the correct response to them is not “fuck you, i’m eating fourteen pounds of sugar.” eat fourteen pounds of sugar because you want to. (also it should be fat because if you really want to stick it to the man you should be eating fat, big sugar is responsible for a huge amount of todays dietary problems, both on the under/overweight side)

section five: discrimination

yeah no fuck people who discriminate about fat people. that’s all i’m just moving along to a transition since i was drifting away from my point about health.

section six: weight stigma

...is not responsible for your health issues. being obese is. accept the consequences of your lifestyle.

well. okay. that’s a little unfair. accept the consequences of not treating your chronic illness. and i feel i’ve probably lost people for calling obesity an illness but that’s the whole point of my post.

just like carrying externally heavy objects hurts your joints, so does carrying a lot of weight inside. fat does not cushion your organs, it kills them. getting rid of weight stigma will not make these issues go away.

the treatment for obesity is eating the number of calories you need to sustain a healthy weight at your current exercise levels. (*please consult with your doctor this is more complicated when you have to lose a lot of weight.)

section seven: cico. or, why your metabolism is fine

your body does not break the laws of thermodynamics. it cannot magically create more energy out of a given amount of calories.

there are issues with calorie counting, yes. i think it’s usually done in an unsustainable way that isn’t teaching people to make decisions, just to do math. it can be hard to get an accurate count.

but you are not a miracle of science. you have not discovered how to create and destroy energy. i’m sorry to be the one to break if to you.

if you don’t believe me, if you’re really sure your metabolism is different, go on and get it tested. tell your doctors. because it’s a major problem if it’s not working right.

similarly, i’m sorry, but if someone is the same height as you and a (very, like, +- 50 pounds) different weight, and neither of you have exisitng health conditions, you are not eating the same things/doing the same exercise. you have not broken the laws of physics.

possibly, one of you have untreated celiacs or something of the ilk meaning your body is actually malfunctioning. but if that’s true, i excluded you already, so shoo. get out of here and play in the sun with the other kids.

if you don’t believe this, there’s not much i can do to convince you. but i encourage you to count your calories for a month. find some tdee calculators. weigh yourself. make sure you count everything, it all goes down. check the math. (you can do any amount of time but a month is what you need for weight to be meaningful imo otherwise you’re just proving weight fluctuates a lot).

section eight: cico. or, why counting calories is not disordered eating

it can sure be a symptom of disordered eating, and it can certainly make disordered eating worse, but it isn’t an eating disorder.

also, assuming you’re not trying to verify the laws of thermodynamics, i don’t think counting every calorie is necessary. i have approximate values (500/meal, and around 300 in snacks), which i try not to go over or under.

yeah. i actually use calorie counting to make sure i’m eating enough in one sitting. some of my medication screws with my apetite and then i only eat like 300 calories and suddenly its like 11 and i need to go to bed but i’m hungry but eating before bed makes me feel terrible and it sucks.

but hey, according to some people, avoiding that is unhealthy.

okay i’m moving on before i get salty because the next section is touchy

section nine: eating disorders.

the three main eating disorders are listed way up there. they’re the first three. AN, BN, BED.

oh, yeah, binge eating? that’s actually disordered eating too. it’s not normal.

i’m not going to elaborate on the point because i absolutely know i can’t do it without getting really fucking angry that people call calorie counting disordered eating, like i haven’t watched a fifth grader eat one meal a day because she’s scared she’s overweight. like i haven’t watched a sixth grader cram food into his mouth until he’s sick because he’s worried he’s not bulky enough for sports. like i haven’t watched an eleventh grader tell me he hasn’t eaten anything since lunch yesterday, but it’s fine, he doesn’t want his mac and cheese anyway, since he needs to lose weight.

you think someone keeping track of some numbers is an eating disorder? then either you’re lucky enough to never have to deal with eating disorders on a personal level, and i’m very happy for you, or you have, and you should maybe reevaluate that.

alright i’m cutting myself off now whoop.

section ten: intuitive eating

you know, much like haes, i want to like this. it fits in with my bad-food-makes-me-feel-bad mentality. i’m angry and tired and hungry because i ate like, a late breakfast/early lunch and now i need to eat again because if i don’t eat every six to eight hours i have a medical condition that makes me feel like shit (an aside: unless you’ve been told by a doctor, you don’t need to eat every 2-3 hours. unless you’re a child or have an applicable medical condition, you can probably eat one meal a day and be firne.)

but much like haes, it now has a meaning i can’t in good consience endorse. i can’t stand for a movement that tells people who acknowledge weight makes their joints hurt that they just need to keep eating until they feel better.

section eleven: conclusion

i have a lot more thoughts but again i’m hungry. i meant to talk more about IE and my problems with it but maybe that will be its own post.

i won’t say i’m happy to talk about this because i can’t promise i am (see: eating disorder issues.), but i will most likely respond to constructive discussion if someone sees this and wants to. i can also provide sources. i hate going, “sources available on request” but i tried to provide some stuff for some of the heavily disputed/i already had a source for it and didn’t have to dig through google scholar to find information that’s been peer reviewed.

and i do sincerely wish everyone, at any size, that they fracture the disconnect between them and their bodies (oop didn’t talk about that either another time then) & that they find peace with who they are, and that they get to live happy & fulfilling lives.

#fatphobia #anti haes #obesity #health #haes #i don't know how to tag this lmao sorry if i have a bad tag #q #mine #txt #7th #February #2021 #February 7th 2021 #essay #long post

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muilkyu · 4 years

Text

𝗧𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗱

🐷 Hyunsuk

"Should there be that much blood? You're not dying right," the face would actually be kinda cute if he didn't look so disturbed, but you reply anyways.

"Yes and it's the normal amount now will you please just bring me a towel?"

"You know what you seem like you have it all figured out I'll let you do what you have to do and then you just call me when you want cuddles," Hyunsuk is already speed walking out of the room before you have the chance to reply.

God he's an idiot you think.

He loves you but periods just make him to nervous

He will give you all the cuddles in the world

He will NOT buy you pads or tampons no matter how much you ask

He is terrible at dealing with the mood shifts

🐼 Jihoon

"Babe what size do you need?" Jihoon questions over the phone.

"I need Regular and the brand doesn't matter," you respond.

"Are you sure the brand can also be important. I don't want you to feel any discomfort love."

You coo at your boyfriend and reassure him that as long as he picks regular you are fine.

100% would make a midnight run for you

He has a heating pad ready as soon as you mention your period

Buys you chocolate and snacks when you ask

Has ibuprofen or Tylenol for you when the cramps get to much

He says it hurts to see you in pain and wishes he could take all the pain away

🐯 Yoshi

"Do you want a hug or maybe a massage or I don't know...do you want me to leave?" Yoshi questions pacing around the carpet in your room.

"No but can you please stop moving your’re giving me a headache," you say holding you head.

"Okay so I should stay?" He questions sitting down on the bed next to you.

You hum and he pulls you close, tucking your head into his neck while rubbing your head.

Confused yet really wants to help

He isn't sure if he should leave or stay while you have mood swings

Claimed he would be able to help you through your period because of his sister, but he was actually clueless

He instead just cuddles you through all your cramps and headaches

🐨 Junkyu

"Can we get ice cream on the way back," you whine pointing to a nearby Baskin Robbins.

Junkyu pauses and thinks for a moment, "I don't think we have time if we want to make it to the movie."

This doesn't sit well with you and the whiny face turns to one of sadness. You pout and slowly nod, "Okay. To the movies it is then."

Noticing your sudden shift in mood your boyfriend laughs in an attempt to lighten the mood, "Okay, we do have a few minutes to spare."

Doesn't want to but with a little push will do anything for you

He doesn't know much but is willing to learn

Doesn't want to make you upset so he just complies

He isn't a big cuddler but when your on the verge of tears from a strong cramp he turns to butter

🐹 Mashiho

"No, don't cry. I didn't mean to hurt you," Mashi says crouching down to be the same height with the couch.

You hold on the side of your stomach which he accidentally hit while trying to show you a new flip he learned.

"I didn't hit you in the stomach, why are you crying," he whines, voice becoming a little bit high pitched and it's cute.

"I get sore everywhere you fool,"

He looks a bit astonished at the new information, "Really?"

You look at him with a small glare but let up when you can still see the curiosity and remorse in his eyes, "Yes and now I need a pain reliever and a glass of water."

"I'm on it,"

He treats you like a piece of glass

All the information he knows about periods are from dramas and tv so he is really interested in learning

He doesn't want to make you cry or sad so he try to be the perfect boyfriend

When your having a bad cramp he talks in his cute voice and you smile (he considers this an victory)

🦁 Jaehyuk

"Say ahh," Jaehyuk says holding out the spoon ready to feed you a bite of bulgogi.

"You know I can feed myself right," You question back.

He pouts," I am aware, but you're already going through so much. Let me take care of you."

He looks so determined to help out so you end up letting him feed you through the rest of dinner. Even though you got a few stares from the other dinners around you.

"Let me take care you" he takes it to a new level

Anything that he can do for you he does

He makes sure your alarm is set and you're up in the morning

Makes sure you have extra tampons or pads in your purse

He also cares around a pill or two of ibuprofen

He made sure to do his research on periods to make the experience better for you

🤖 Asahi

"We should do something today," your boyfriend suggests.

You glance up from your phone, eyebrow already raised, "You want to go out."

"Sure why not. The sun is about to set and I know you want to go take pictures," Asahi replies. You smile already getting on a pair of slippers.

"To the roof we go!" You shout.

"The sky is so pretty look at that cloud," You exclaim, spinning around pointing at the pink and blue sky.

Ashai smiles at you. It's the first time this week he's seen you happy all week.

It's just a normal week for Asahi and you

Your cramps aren't as bad this week but Asahi despite being nervous takes care of you

He does little things that make your life easier. Such as making food for you, washing the dishes, and bringing you a glass of water without you even asking

🦊 Yedam

"We should go to the park today," Yedam says over the phone. He can hear him shuffling with papers in the background, probably some lyrics or homework.

"I can't today. My period decided to attack me this morning. Maybe next weekend." You say.

"Ahh, well we could just stay in then." He suggested.

"No, I'll be fine, enjoy your free weekend and we can plan next weekend."

"Nope, I'm coming over and we are gonna eat Ramen and I'll sing you a song to sleep." He says.

"Okay, let's have a sleepover then."

Drops everything he is doing to be by your side

Sings you to sleep even over the phone if he has to

Sleepovers are a must for your relationship

You both love spending time together and when your cycle starts Yedam just holds you all night

He won't ask you about any of the details of your period but if he has to he'll will make you tea for your cramps

🐰 Doyoung

"Can we make a special stop?" You ask.

Doyoung looks at you confused, "For what?"

"I need to stop and get something you just wait here and I'll be right back."

Doyoung still looks puzzled but then it clicked, "Ah, you mean feminine stuff."

A shy smile makes its way onto your face, but you nod anyways.

"It's okay we can go together." He says, already making his way to the isle.

Is comfortable with periods to an extent

Knows what to do when you have cramps or are out of pads

May have asked his mom for advice but won't admit it

Cooks for you when your hungry

Is just the perfect boyfriend when your not feeling the best

🐏 Haruto

"It hurts. You don't understand it's painful," You groan holding your stomach.

"It can't be that painful come on."

"You know I love you but you're really clueless."

He sits down next to you, head in his hands," Okay, I know nothing about this at all. Tell me what I can do to make you feel better."

"Can you just hold me?" You ask.

"Of course. Anything to make you feel better." Haruto smiles.

"And order me pizza."

"Don't push it."

Doesn't really understand periods

He is willing to learn although he doesn't know anything

Decides to just be a good boyfriend and do whatever you ask

🐺 Jeongwoo

"Okay, I got you a chocolate chip cookie, popcorn, jelly, and orange juice and apple juice because I didn't know which one you would like. Oh and I also picked out a salad because all this sugar isn't good for you." Jeongwoo says placing all the food he picked up from the convenience store on the corner.

Chuckling you reach for the apple juice, "I didn't need all this food. All I asked for was a pack of gum."

"Yes, I know but what if you get hungry then you have more options."

"Awee, that's so cute," You coo standing up to give him a hug, "Thank you for thinking of me." Before you can give him a proper hug through he moves away.

"Sorry I love you but what if you bleed on me or something."

"Omg, really? Please tell me how I could bleed on you from giving you a hug," he opens his mouth about to respond but you put your hand up silencing him, "Don't answer that just make me my popcorn please."

Trying to be there for you

The overall fear takes over him though

Makes up any excuse to not touch you he's too afraid to make something worse

May have googled 'how to help your girlfriend through a period'

the advice didn't help

🐮 Junghwan

"Eww, no please just pick it up," Junghwan cringes pushing the pad away from him with the end of his pencil.

You laugh picking it up, "It's just a pad it won't kill you."

"How do you know that?! Anything could magically grow legs," he debates.

"I can't believe we are having this conversation right now," you say pushing the pad back into your book-bag.

You don't even get to talk about periods with Junghwan

He avoids the topic at all costs

The sight of a pad makes him feel weird

But when your having a bad cramp or just in a bad mood he will bring you a bag of jelly's or sweet bread (it makes you smile)

I hope you enjoyed!

Requested by: @kataaa2005

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henrikvanderswoon · 4 years

Text

Double the Kill: A Nancy Drew Play Written by 12-year-old Yours Truly - Readthrough Reactions

Okay, guys, I went through two cups of super strong coffee reading through this thing and I think I can hear colors now so… Have fun reading this!

I sincerely haven’t read this thing in probably ten years and I legitimately forgot almost everything about this play I wrote for myself and my twin/two best friends to perform. We used to write plays for each other all the time, as well as play Nancy Drew games together, so… this was all very fitting.

Anyway, this is a super long one and I APOLOGIZE but also I hope you enjoy reading this thing as much as I enjoyed writing it 😂

Okay, for starters, this story is titled: “Double the Kill” for two reasons that I can remember: (1) someone actually gets murdered, and (2) someone beheaded the Lincoln Memorial statue.

…

You know when you’re in middle school and you’re assigned some topic to research for a project and suddenly you have this stupid amount of knowledge about something you don’t know what to do with?

That’s what happened here.

Anyway.

So, apparently I didn’t know what the word “pervert” was when I was 12 (poor, sheltered creature) so I legitimately named a character Blake Pervey and I’m gonna fling myself into the sun.

Oh my gosh, I wrote up a case profile for this, complete with character roles and everything. Incredible.

Let’s provide that for you guys:

The Case: Billionaire Erving Nickels is holding a benefit concert at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C., where the band “One Love” will be performing. Erv senses trouble, so he calls Nancy Drew and her best friend Bess Marvin to watch out for anything “suspicious.” But about an hour before the concert’s about to start, One Love’s lead singer Terri James is found dead near the Lincoln statue and the head of the statue is gone!

Contact: Erving Nickels - a billionaire who’d arranged the benefit concert. He asked Nancy to come and watch for anything “suspicious.”

Suspects:

Erving Nickels: Goes by Erv, for short. As it turns out, this man has actually gone bankrupt recently. Could he go to desperate measures to gain back his wealth?

Blake Pervey (I still want to die): One Love’s back-up singer. Terri had broken up with him recently because he’d attempted to cheat on her (huh, maybe he really is a pervert after all). Did he murder her to get revenge and take her place as the lead singer?

Lyza Benton: The make-up artist. Lyza is always on the prowl for the next juicy gossip to spill to the press and gain publicity. Could she have killed Terri to create the ultimate story?

Myra “Ryan” Williams: One Love’s guitarist. She was the person Blake had attempted to cheat with, but she’d refused. Terri didn’t believe Ryan’s story and blamed her for everything, which caused the two women to hate each other.

Victim: Terry James

Okay. Already this is a little better than “Murder at Turquoise Inn,” because there are actual suspects with actual motives??? aMAZING.

Wow, Nancy’s a bitch. She didn’t even tell Erving that Bess was coming along.

Erv keeps saying that he thinks something bad is going to happen tonight, and Nancy and Bess are both like,“Can you please explain why?” And he’s like, “I just have a feeling.” Like boi, that’s sketch.

Bess: “Sorry to change the subject, Mr. Nickels.”

Erv: “Please, just call me Erv.”

Bess: “No thank you.”

Bess…I know Erv is a weird name, but…why?

Mr. Nickels is taking Nancy and Bess on a tour, right? And I keep peppering in random facts about the Lincoln Memorial I learned for school and it’s SENDING ME.

“I’ll watch and wait for our groovy band to arrive, while you girls split up and watch for suspicious activity. Now, let’s boogie!”

Asfbadka Erv, no one talks liKE That!

I would just like to take a moment to preface the rest of this post with the fact that I wrote this for me and my friends, and we were always writing the stupidest dialogue for each other because we thought it was hilarious. Um…which hopefully explains lines like these:

(1) No one calls Erv Nickels, the handsome billionaire, “Darling.” Except his mother.

(2) [We’re going to change.] No, don’t change. We like you guys just the way you are. *laughs obnoxiously*

…

I hate myself.

So Blake and Terri arrive in the limo and let me tell ya’ll Blake is definitely flirting with Erv right now and I’m so fucking confused.

Terri: That man’s got problems. I guess money does that to people.

Blake: But we have money and we don’t have problems.

Terri: Maybe it only happens to men.”

Blake: But… I am a man.

Terri: Exactly.

Okay, you can tell my love for writing banter was here from the fuckin get-go.

Oh god, now Blake is flirting with Nancy. Fuckin hell. I may not have known what the word “pervert” was when I was 12, but this man was aptly named.

Suspicious, suspicious.*Mocking* ‘Can you girls watch for anything suspicious?’ Something suspicious, yeah right. Oh look! A BUG. Oh, soooo suspicious.

Bess…. I love you.

Okay, as dumb as everything is in this thing, some of this dialogue is fucking cracking me up so hard.

Bess: No! Honestly. I swear, it’s almost like he’s trying to keep us busy so something bad can happen.

*A faraway scream cuts in from offstage*

*Nancy and Bess look off in the direction it came from, way too casual*

Bess: What was that?

Nancy: I dunno.

*They pause, then their eyes widen in realization*

Nancy: Oh crap.

Listen, I know I’m a comedic genius, but this is getting out of hand. Dsbfsjkdsjfbk

Bess: Mr. Nickels! What woman was screaming so high like that?

Erv: That was me.

I CAN’T BREATHE.

I saw Terri lying there on the floor, apparently dead.

Erving… the woman is DEAD. What do you mean “apparently?”

Nancy and Bess find a letter Terri was going to give to Erving to tell him she can’t do the concert because she also felt like something terrible was going to happen to her, and all Bess can do is repeatedly laugh at the word, “Flee.”

Hey, too bad “Honest Abe” is missing his head, otherwise he could tell us whodunnit.

Wow, yall. Bess is my favorite.

You know, the funniest thing about this is that you can definitely tell how many of the games I played between writing my horrible novel at the age of ten and writing this. If this thing had better dialogue and more fleshed out story/characterization, I could picture this as an actual game, not gonna lie.

And… maybe if it didn’t involve removing the whole-ass head of the Lincoln statue…

Yanno, tiny details like that.

Lyza: *laughing* Scared you, didn’t I?

Bess: Oh, “scared’"is such a strong word. I’d say more… "severely startled.”

So Erving reveals to Nancy that he’s actually not dumb as bricks, but puts up the facade because he’s broke and doesn’t want anyone thinking he’s not still super rich and air-headed. I’m crying.

You sensed something bad was going to happen. You should have called the police to stand guard! Not some amatuer teenager who calls herself a detective and her little friend!

…. The pervert has a point.

So Lyza likes to meddle in people’s business. Ryan had written about Blake’s advances in her journal and Lyza blackmailed her about it, Terri blamed Ryan for Blake’s attempted cheating. Blake tried to bribe Ryan into going out with him by telling her he’d discovered a way to get his hands on a fabulous collection of priceless jewels, and Terri broke it off with him. He’s upset, Ryan’s pissed that Terri thinks she went along with Blake, Erving borrowed money to organize the benefit concert (in order to benefit himself) and now he’s in even deeper debt because the concert has been cancelled and Lyza is having a fuckin field day.

BOY AM I ON BOARD FOR THIS SHIT.

Before he came into wealth, Erving worked in a museum in Chicago, and Bess finds a piece of paper on the floor of Ryan’s trailer with the phone number to this exact museum. Nancy calls to see if there is any connection between that museum and the Lincoln Memorial and apparently there’s a theory that the head of the Lincoln statue contains jewels that the museum talks about in a part of their exhibit.

*kronk’s face* Oh yeah. It’s all coming together.

Nancy: For all I know, you could be the murderer.

Erv: Why would I do that? I needed the money from the concert!

Nancy: No you didn’t. You could’ve just–I dunno–stolen the head of Abe over there in search for the ALLEGED JEWELS INSIDE.

Ya’ll… please don’t ask me how the FUCK one person would get tools to remove that head without anyone noticing. Please.

Blake: Hey, guys, have you seen Ryan anywhere?

Nancy: Why? You gonna ask her out again?

Kjdbfisfdosidnf FUCKIN’ SAVAGE, NANCE.

oH MY GOD THE CULPRIT SLIPPED UP SO EASILY I’M SCREAMING.

oH my god, Nancy told Erving they needed something to pick the lock on one of the trailers and he’s all: “Like a bobby pin?” And just takes off his hat, removes a bobby pin, and “lets his long hair cascade down and over his shoulders like a waterfall” and I’m crying. I can’t fuckin’ breathe.

Oh shit, wait… the first culprit was actually covering for the real culprit all along I’m losing my mind. My twelve-year-old brain was so advanced I just threw a curveball at myself sjdbfshdbfagh

Okay, so I’m not gonna spoil anything because I think it’s hilarious to keep you all wondering what the fuck is going on and who the hell did it and why, but I would just like you all to know that this play literally ends with one of the characters singing Hannah Montana’s “The Best of Both Worlds” completely off key because I thought it would be hilarious and I think that really tells you a lot about who I am as a person.

#I'm so sad I dont have more things to live react to cause holy shit is this so much fun jxnzjznsksks #nancy drew #nd humor #nancy drew humor #clue crew #long post #have fun guys this went way longer than I'd expected it to jxbsjjsja

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mj-spooks · 4 years

Note

Alright, judging by how successful that last Harry Potter experimental question was, Buffy's scooby gang, as a Leverage Crew? Is it too simple to say Buffy as a hitter and Giles as a mastermind?

Which version of the gang are we talking here? Can I go across the whole series? Season 1 only? All Stars? Fuck it I’m cherry picking because THAT’S HOW WE DO.

So, Giles is absolutely on the money. He’s the Mastermind, no doubt. He’s the watcher, he trains the others (mostly Buffy and Faith, but let’s be real, he trains all of them in their own way), he’s the one that works things out, leads research parties, comes up with plans. He’s the Mastermind, at least at first. Like Nate, he graduates out of that position (although I think the others sort of share it after he steps down, rather than one person picking it up).

But Buffy’s not the hitter.

Buffy is the grifter.

Think about it. Pretty, blonde, posterchild for popularity. She’s charismatic. She’s endearing. You like her. You’d probably do anything she asked you to. She’s an an excellent liar, a brilliant actor. She plays the part. The only reason she doesn’t have Sunnydale wrapped around her fucking finger is because all the bullshit with demons and vampires is Too Obvious for no one to ever notice how weird she is. If they could be even slightly more subtle, or pick slightly more convenient times to get up to their nonsense, no one would ever suspect she was anything but what she looks like.

No, the hitter? That’s Faith. And yes, I’m counting her as a Scooby. My girl got done dirty, alright. Granted, she did some people pretty dirty as well. But she was a teenage girl with a really shitty childhood, and I’m not one to use the shitty childhood as a get out of jail free card (get it), but dude. Dude. Every single thing that could’ve gone wrong for her, did. And every time the team had a chance to prove she could trust them, they fucked it up. Mostly Wesley fucked it up, but let’s not go there. And did I mention she was a teenage girl? Also, it helps that she was only Properly Evil for like, a few months, after which she was in a coma, and was Properly Evil for all of five minutes before deciding “Actually I just wanna be Buffy,” because guess what, she never WANTED to be the bad guy-

I’m getting off topic. The point is. Faith is the brawn, alright? Post-Faith, I guess that position goes to Spike, who let’s face it, is basically Buffy’s backup/guard dog from the moment he realizes he can still kill demons, and especially after his big “Oh shit I love the slayer” realization. For the record, bad decisions being made by an ostensibly helplessly evil soulless monster aside, no one EVER had Buffy’s back like Spike did. Not a single damn person. Fucking fight me. Every. Single. Other. Person. Let her down. Constantly. Or they were never in a positoin to properly have her back in the first place. The one time he really did screw it up, he realized how fucked up he was, and went off and got a fucking soul for her, so basically

Riley, for the record, is not a Hitter and does NOT count as a Scooby, because screw that guy. Also while I’m on the subject, screw Xander, because the episode where Riley leaves and Xander gives Buffy the “you’re the bad guy” speech sits so fucking wrong with me, and Xander goddamn Harris can get fucking bent. I’m still off topic, I know, I know. Sorry, I just. I have VERY STRONG OPINIONS ABOUT BUFFY.

ANYWAY. Willow is the hacker, big fucking shock. She’s... she’s literally a hacker, okay. Even when she stops being all computer-y and starts being all witch-y, her approach to witchcraft is... is to hack it. She hacks magic. Literally. That’s what gets her in so much trouble with it, because she’s too fucking good at cheating the system. It’s how she brought Buffy back. She’s the goddamned Hacker. Age. Of. The. Fucking. Geek. Baby.

Thief............ hmph. I don’t know?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

See, the thing is, basically all of the properly involved Scoobies had to steal something at one point or another, all with basically the same level of success, so... wait.

Okay. No. The thief is Dawn.

She’s literally a thief! She steals from everybody all the goddamned time! With varying degrees of success, sure. But if she was actually trained at it, she’d be better than all of them. She’s the only Little Sibling out of the bunch (Well, okay, Tara had an older brother, but her homelife was so fucked she has Very Different Younger Sister energy than Dawn). She has a specific talent for it that I bet would serve her well if she was actually trained. I honestly at this point have read so much fanfic that I cannot for the life or me remember if canon!Spike ever helped teach her to knick stuff or if that’s just widely accepted fanon!Spike because people love that dynamic (as they should, it’s great). I’m doing a rewatch but... uh... I kinda stopped partway through S5 because I’m like four episodes away from The Body and gods I just can’t take it. Point being, I dunno if that’s legit or not. BUT. If it were legit, and she was taught how to steal, she’d be great at it.

I guess Spike is kind of also the thief. But he’s also the only one of the scoobies that’s properly been a villain (I’m not counting Faith or Willow’s brief insanity, and Angel isn’t the villain, Angelus is, so...), so naturally he’s got the shady skills. He can kind of grift and mastermind, too, except he’s too impatient for it, which is why he ends up stuck as a hitter most of the time. Everything else is too slow for his ass. See, the entirety of S2.

For fun, under the cut, the remaining scoobies and what position they’re best suited for:

Xander: Hitter??? He’s not got the super strength and he’s kind of played for laughs, but there was that whole bit where he had the tactical training from his brief stint as GI Joe in the Halloween episode. He’s a decent tactician, which is kind of the hitter’s job. I bet that if the wasn’t so busy feeling inferior to Buffy and he actually like. Trained. He could be a decent fighter.

Cordelia: Straight fucking grifter. Which she proves plenty of times on Angel. It’s extra great because she basically IS Sophie, what with the whole “can grift like a boss but put her on stage and she’s terrible” bit. She’s also a decent mastermind, also showcased on Angel. She whips him into shape from day one, and is the only thing that keeps AI running half the time. Also not unlike Sophie. Honestly Cordelia is my favorite character from the OG cast. She deserved better.

Angel: Mastermind. He’s got all of Angelus’ brains, remember, just not necessarily any reason to use them. He’s smart, though, and definitely good at planning. He’s also really into knowing the most and keeping his cards close to his chest. The parallels with Nate are a little strong, honestly, because he also has that whole... guilty conscience spiraling downward holier than thou thing going on. And yes, I do ship him and Cordy, thanks for asking.

Oz: Hacker! Not a lot of people really remember this, since his prominent character traits were “In a band”, “Willow’s boyfriend”, and “werewolf”. Plus there’s the whole flunked-senior-year plot point which I honestly think they did just to keep him around. But the first time Oz actually properly interacted with Willow was because they’d both gotten singled out for their badass computer skills on career day. He’s very nearly as good as her.

Anya: Grifter. I mean, the whole vengeance demon schtick relies on the grift. She’s very good at it. Which, she ought to be, she’s been doing it for over a thousand years. It’s sort of hilarious though because it seems like the second she loses her powers, she also loses her ability to blend in. I think that’s likely because she’s used to short term cons, and running the long con that is being human again is more difficult. Still, this is where she shines.

Riley: He doesn’t count because I kinda hate him. But fine if you wanna go there. Hitter. He doesn’t deserve the title though because Eliot is both brains and brawn and Riley can’t think his way out of a paper sack without someone giving him directions, and even then it’s dicey.

Tara: This one is super hard for me! I can’t see her as any of the actual team positions. I suppose the one skill she displays would be grifting, since she does try to hide her identity as a supposed demon from the others for a while before her birthday comes up. But honestly I see her less as a member of the crew and more as a Maggie. Voice of reason, moral high ground, not putting up with shenanigans if she can help it... yeah. Tara’s the Maggie. Every crew needs one.

#leverage anon #buffy the vampire slayer #btvs meta #leverage #This is a Pro-Spike blog antis will be blocked on sight lmao #and also fuck xander harris #there I said it

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andipxndy-writes · 5 years

Text

I Don’t Care - Sam & Kat

[[I wrote a new thing! So basically Ed Sheeran’s new album is amazing and I have a fave song on the album, which 100% reminded me of how Sam feels about Kat. Obviously, Sam isn’t mine (they belong to @a-simple-rper), but I love them a lot and these cuties deserve a fic together because Rick and Laura get too much attention.

So yeah, basically I’ve been listening to this song a lot, and even though Sam can’t sing to save their life, I will always love how this song represents how they feel for Kat.

Edited to completion! Enjoy!]]

---

I Don’t Care

Sam hated dressing up.

No, not dressing up as in Halloween costumes. They meant dressing up as in a suit and a tie. Dressing in a “monkey suit”, as Jake called it, was extremely uncomfortable, from the tight pants to the stiff collar and the tie that felt like it was cutting off their circulation. They would never voluntarily wear something like this. Not if they had a choice.

Except for, you know, the annual Martins family dinner party.

It wasn’t a thing they usually went to. In fact, Kat and Laura rarely went to it themselves, preferring to stay away from their uptight and toxic aunts and probably keep that toxicity away from their own kids. Which Sam completely understood – they would never forgive that cousin Lara for regularly calling them a piece of shit in front of other family members (not literally, because she always had a posh way of saying it), and they were honestly so glad that she was now very intimidated by the twins and their total ability to beat her up with no remorse.

Standing to the side of the room, their eyes scanned over the various people milling about the room at the party. It wasn’t hard to spot Rick and Laura in the crowd (he was a whole foot taller than everyone else in the room), the pair of them speaking to a couple of Laura’s male cousins. They remembered Kat mentioning something about them being involved in catering, or something to do with food, and obviously Rick and Laura were an amazing power couple who ran their own bar with food business together, so of course they’d want to have a conversation with them. Probably about business stuff.

Jake and Allie were also in a conversation with some of Kat’s relatives, and it was easy to see that they'd fit right in. With them both being British (poster accent and all), and Allie even knowing how to interact with people of upper social classes (clearly something that Sam lacked), it was easier for them to just integrate and get accepted. Heck, they looked like they fit right in with Jake looking almost like a natural in his suit and Allie looking elegant in her dress.

And Kat, well, she was looking as beautiful as ever, laughing with what looked to be some aunts and uncles. Sam had felt so awkward in that conversation, not really knowing what they were on about, that they’d excused themselves to go to the toilet and just hadn’t returned. And they doubted that anyone noticed they were missing anyway.

They just really didn’t want to be there. They’d rather be at home with the twins, taking care of and playing with them whilst Kat dealt with her family. They didn't really like them, and the sentiment was returned, honestly. If Sam was the punk that knocked up Katherine and possibly hindered her career in research, then they were the stuck up asshats that couldn’t realise when there was genuine love in their relationship.

Standing at the side of the room, sipping on a glass of champagne (how freaking arrogant) as they watched everyone, they seriously considered telling Kat that they were going to head off. As much as they loved her... they felt so out of place in this room that it hurt.

They didn’t notice that she’d left her conversation until they realised their drink had been taken from their hand, and Kat was stood there, knocking it back before placing the empty glass on a nearby table. They stared at her, confused.

“What are you—?”

“You look dead bored,” she responded bluntly, turning to them with a smile on her face. “Plus, this party is a little more on the dull side. My mom’s sisters are all pretty stuck up in a way, but they’re not all too bad, and neither are my uncles. Plus, my cousins aren’t all like Lara.”

“Really?” They were doubtful of that, and Kat could clearly see it on their face. She sighed in response, deciding to just take their hands and squeeze them a little.

“Mom wanted to speak with you,” Kat said softly, changing the topic of conversation. “Apparently she’s been wanting to speak with you all night, but you keep disappearing...”

They gave a guilty smile at that. “Really? Thought I’d stick out like a sore thumb...”

“Oh come on, Sammy, don’t be like that...”

He pursed his lips and looked away. “Where’s she sat?” they asked, avoiding the look on Kat's face. They did not need her “don’t pity yourself” looks right then. Maybe a talk with mom would do them some good.

“At that table, over there.” Kat pointed over to a table where Sam could clearly see her mom sat. With her husband. Having a conversation.

They suddenly didn’t feel like going over. Not with Kat’s dad there too.

“Should I wait a little longer...?”

“Nah, she’s fine. Just go.” At the look they gave her, she sighed. “Dad won’t bite your head off. Go and sit next to mom and speak with her.”

Sam still looked very reluctant to do so, but walked over there anyway, appearing very nervous as they sat down next to Jane. “Hey, mom...”

Jane paused her conversation and turned from where she was talking with her husband to smile brightly at Sam. “Oh, Sam! Wonderful! When did you get there?”

Before they could answer, Phil stood, not sending Sam a single glance as he straightened his suit and brushed it down. “I’m off to get another drink and mingle,” he said stiffly, before walking off.

Jane pursed her lips as she watched her husband, sighing through her nose.

“He really doesn’t like me, huh?” Sam asked, the smile on their face a little on the sad side. It didn’t matter that they and Kat were now thinking of getting married and being completely committed to each other, or that they were the father to his grandchildren, or even that they were trying hard to juggle being a dad with longer bar shifts so that they could put more into the college fund. Phil Banks just didn’t like Sam a single bit.

Jane glanced at Sam, ready to defend her husband and say that he really did like Sam, but seeing the look on their face made her hold her tongue. And her lack of an answer just made them look down at the table, deflated, before they began to push themselves away from the table.

“I think I might just tell Kat I’m picking up the kids and heading home...”

“Before we’ve had our conversation?”

Sam paused in their movements to look over at Jane, seeing something like a teasing look in her eyes. A teasing look that meant she’d caught them out and they were going to do as she told them to. That same teasing look they’d received from Kat many a time, and they'd spotted Rick being on the receiving end himself a few times from Laura right before he quit slacking and took his turn in caring for the kids.

So, sighing, they sat back down, turning to face Jane, leaning on the table. Looking mildly miffed, they waited for her to speak.

“So, how’s work been recently?”

They pursed their lips at that. Small talk? “It's been good. I’ve been behind the bar a bit more, what with the triplets getting older. Rick has more daddy duties.”

Jane gave a chuckle at that. “Oh, that I don’t doubt. Laura wouldn’t let him slack a single bit. Always making sure people do their share of the work.” Her smile widened as she moved on to her next topic, looking a bit more excited. “And my first grandbabies? How are little Annabelle and Tyler?”

“Growing fast.” Sam finally cracked a smile, thinking of their babies – well, they were more like pre-schoolers now, but they would always be their babies. “Anna is reading anything and everything now – we actually found her trying to read a draft of one of Kat’s papers in her study the other day. And Tyler is growing so tall so quickly.” They let out a chuckle. “He can’t still for a second.”

Jane laughed at that. “That definitely reminds me of George.” Ah yes, the family fireman. The first to study a non-academic subject. Though it paved the way for the younger cousins, definitely.

Sam glanced over at the older brother of the twins, who appeared to be having a very animated conversation with some cousins and making them laugh. Yeah... that was very Tyler. They could see that.

Before they could say anything else, though, Jane spoke again, her smile softening.

“It’s okay to not fit in here, Sam.”

They turned to her suddenly, a frown on their face. “...What?”

“It’s okay to not fit in. Everyone talks about everyone, and you don’t really get much privacy with three nosy sisters and their well-off husbands.”

“Is that meant to be comforting?” they asked sarcastically, not looking amused at all. “That just means everyone knows about me.” And how terrible I am for Kat.

“And they’re comparing Kat to me.” She leaned closer to Sam, lowering her voice. “Right down to the choice in partner.”

Sam paused, blinking. Well, they hadn’t expected that one. “...Huh?”

Jane gave an almost conspiratory smirk at that. “Oh yes. Phil was exactly like you when we got married – not really focused on education, but passionate about his own things that my family didn’t get. Elizabeth was the worst at the time, always gossiping and bad mouthing about him, but then he went into business and he just shot up in his career, and they couldn’t say or do anything. Not when I had a husband who built his own success, and three absolutely beautiful children.” She placed a hand on their arm. “Stop caring and take your own path. Kat is so happy with you. My sisters don’t care about that, but my goodness is she happy. And I’ve got five incredible grandchildren, as well as two more children – more than any of my sisters have.” She then lowered her voice to a whisper. “You’re my favourite, though. Don’t tell Rick I said that.”

Sam grinned at that, finally feeling a bit more relaxed. Like Kat, Jane always had a way of making them feel at home around her, even if it felt more like her simply being a mom to them too. Even with her heightened intellect, she had a way of being down to earth and bubbly.

Just like their Kat.

Just as they were opening their mouth to thank Jane – God, was she a great mom or what? – they felt another hand on their arm, this one pulling them out of their seat. They looked up at see Kat grinning down at them, her eyes bright and excited.

“Come dance!”

“Dance?” Their eyes widened. “Here?”

“It’ll be fun!”

“But—” Glancing over at a smiling Jane, her words came to mind again.

It’s okay to not fit in. Stop caring and take your own path.

Groaning – more to play up the whole reluctance act than anything – they let her pull them up and away from Jane. Shooting the woman a glance as they were pulled away, they smiled widely as she waved at them.

Stopping in the middle of the room, surrounded by numerous cousins, aunts and uncles who were just watching them with interest, Kat turned to them and placed her hands on their shoulders, leaving them to place their hands on her hips as they swayed slowly to the music.

“So, what did mom want to talk to you about?” Kat asked curiously as they moved. Sam’s eyes drifted upwards in faux thought.

“Mmm... not telling.”

“What? Oh, come on...”

They grinned down at her. “Nope. Not tellin'.”

“Sammy...”

They chuckled, leaning down to kiss her softly. “Hey, how about we spice up this party a little?” they murmured to her, a cheeky glint in their eyes. Which made Kat narrow her own.

“How...?” she asked hesitantly.

“Well, the music for one could put even Tyler to sleep. So let’s fix that. Then we could break out the good stuff at the back of the bar.”

“Oh my God, Sam, this isn’t a bar party.”

“You’re right. A bar party would be better.”

“You know, people are gonna stare...”

Sam just grinned widely at her, before spinning her and dipping her with a flourish, making her laugh. They leaned down close to her, brushing their lips against hers.

“I don’t care.”

#universe development: the simple life #muse development: kat banks #written for: asimplerper #writing: mine #writing: rp writings #//mama banks is a queen and we love her

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angstymarshmallow · 6 years

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21. Autumn Leaves (Zig x MC)

[A little note: I’m still working my way through some September prompts, because I am VERY bad at finishing stuff on time. Thank you @hellomynameisdeviblaire for your request :’), I still have another one from you that’s sitting here but]

[Words Counted: 1902]

[Summary: A long day of thinking and research during fall quarter makes Dia (MC) doubt her own capabilities as a writer until Zig’s steadfast support provides her the comfort she needs].

The cool autumn wind brought the rapid approach and the quiet reminder of winter nearly everywhere she looked. From the safety of her windows, she often watched the trees as their leaves gradually became a dull brown before they begun their slow descent back into the earth and much like the rest of Hartfeld – Dia turned her summer shorts and tanks in for fall jackets and combat boots. She stuck to keeping indoors more than out, as the colder it grew the more reluctant she became to venture outside. Eventually, Zig was the only one trying to make grocery runs whenever they were out of food and only dragged her out of the house when he implored she was “cooped up for far too long”.

Spending most of her time in doors have Dia a lot more time to think. She spent a considerable amount of time on average thinking about her friends; how they managed to somehow still fit into each other’s lives despite heading in different directions. She thought about Zig – how different her life would have been if they had never met, if he hadn’t become such an important part of her life and her innermost circle. And lastly as she fiddled with the keystrokes of her laptop, her thoughts travelled to her thesis, where they lingered the most recently – this was her last hitch until graduation. It was only too bad she had no idea where it would take her.

Absently Dia ran her fingers through her cat’s fur, and felt the little creature’s head nuzzle into her side. She sighed. She still hadn’t the faintest idea on what her focal point should be – only small increments of ideas came to mind; and they never seemed to go anywhere. She shook her head and gave another frustrated sigh before leaning back inside the couch. Her eyes went to the ceiling as she mulled over her years here. Her years at Harfeld.

Could the answer be easier than she thought it was?

She heard keys jingling at the door as well as Argo’s sudden barking before his tiny legs made a beeline for it. “Argo!” She snapped, sitting upright inside her couch.

KitKat made a soft noise at suddenly being roused awake. The grey and white cat abandoned Dia’s side seconds before she got to her feet.

The door closed behind Zig and he struggled to take his shoes off with one hand while resting the large grocery bags to his chest. He was lost inside his own thoughts until Argo started running happy circles around him.

“Woah,” he nearly stumbled into the small puppy, but stumbled back at the last second. “Careful boy.”

“Argo.” Dia let the warning in her voice settle before the puppy’s eyes shifted to her. His tail stopped wagging. She crossed the room, holding a finger up to her lips in a shushing motion. “Spot, now.” She pointed across the room with the flicker of her wrist.

Argo whimpered but followed her request, his ears downcast until he reached the pet bed in the corner of the room.

“I really hate it when we have to do that.” Zig sighed.

“But that’s the only way he’ll learn.” Dia reminded him, shooting the puppy a small but stoic glare.

Argo seemed to pout at her as he settled his chin to the floor.

“That does not work on me, Argo.”

“She’s right. I’m the sweet parent.” Zig mused, he shifted a little and one of the grocery bags tittered forward until it fell from his arms. “Shit!”

Dia scrambled at the last second, half-jumping to catch it. “Got it.” It landed with a light thud. “Need a little hand?” She smirked, as she straightened herself upright. Placing one hand on her hip,, Zig tried to shift the weight of the rest of the bags again.

“Yes please.” He didn’t hesitate to administer the rest of the other half of paper bags the second she stretched her hands wide. “You have no idea how hard it was to get these all out of the car at once.”

“I can imagine.” She frowned thinly. ““You bought a lot more this time.” She juggled the weight in her hands before turning for the kitchen.

“We needed a lot.” He countered.

Together, they begun packing the groceries away.

“You say that now,” she snorted. “But don’t blame me when half of it ends up in the garbage. Sometimes I think you forget we’re only two people.”

“I won’t forget,” he replied mildly as he shoved a bag of flour into their cupboards. “Besides who knows the next time Kaitlyn’s band will crash by here? Or when we’ll see Abbie and Tyler? And anyway, I think we deserve to splurge every now and then, especially considering the deadline for our fall projects right around the corner.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” She ducked underneath him to get to the fridge. Yanking it open, she placed their new bags of milk inside.

“Still not much luck on your thesis?”

“Zero luck.” She bent forward to deposit the frozen meats at the bottom of the refrigerator. “Shit out of luck at this point really.” She grumbled.

“Hey.” She could feel his hand on her waist before he pulled her to him. “You’ll get through this.” He said softly, waiting for her to meet his stare.

“How?” She demanded. She stared up at him, her frustration growing from the frown creasing her brows. “How can you say that?”

“Because I know you.” His smile was soft, encouraging as he cupped her cheek. “I know how smart and fierce you are when you know what you want.”

“And knowing is half the battle, right?” She scowled a little, lips making a little frown until his fingers slid to trace tiny patterns across it.

“Exactly.”

She nipped his finger.

“Hey!”

“Sorry,” although she didn’t look nearly as apologetic as she seemed to sound. The corner of her lips lifted before quickly falling again. “I’m just…in a bit of a rut right now.” She shrugged. She knew how important expressing herself was to him and although some of it still felt uncomfortable, it meant a lot to her knowing he always made it a point to ask. “I guess everything I write just…feels terrible. The words aren’t coming when they should half the time. And the other half the time - nothing seems to make sense…” She sighed, glancing away.

“Aww, babe.” He drew her into a reassuring hug, dropping a kiss to her forehead. “That’s perfectly normal.”

“Is it?” Her words were muffled against his chest. Angling her chin, she frowned faintly up at him. “I thought I was getting the hang of it, but this…this wall I’ve hit. It makes me want to say - fuck it. I don’t really need an education, right?”

“Well, don’t say fuck it.” He knew better than to think she was kidding. He believed at least apart of still thought none of this was worth it. He could understand. Half the time while he was studying on his own – tests after tests, projects after projects – he felt exactly the same. “You’ve come all this way babe. We’re in our last year, pretty soon we’ll be done.”

“I know, I know.” She admitted. “It doesn’t feel that way right now. You don’t know how long I was staring at the screen before you came in. Hell, maybe this is really some kind of sign.”

“You don’t believe in signs.” He pointed out thinly, earning himself a withering look from her.

“I’m just saying, maybe I’m not so cut out for this anymore.”

“Hey.” She tried to look away but he wouldn’t let her. Instead, he kept a finger tucked under her chin and waited for those crystal blues to gaze right back at him. “Babe, you’re one of the smartest people I know.”

She snorted.

“No really,” he insisted. “You are.”

“I’m still in brainstorm mode.” She argued, not quite meeting his expression. “I keep thinking about all the stuff we’ve been through to get here, all the stuff I’ve been through since freshman year.”

“Yeah? Let that help to be your guide. Things happen for a reason and who doesn’t spend awhile picking a topic?” He shrugged. “That’s normal. You’ve got the time and I won’t let you doubt how brilliant you are just because of a little setback.”

She didn’t answer him.

“Even if I have to stay up with you on nights where you need someone to bounce ideas off of – I will.”

“That would be a lot of sleepless nights.” She pointed out. “Especially at the rate I’m going.”

He chuckled lightly. “Hey, you’re my girl.” He grinned and watched the corner of her lips quirk into a small smile. He found it always did when he called her that – no matter how many times he said it. “And every second of missed sleep is worth it for you.”

Her cheeks heated at the sudden intensity behind his words. His eyes bore into hers with enough determination that it made her stomach flutter. God, it didn’t make sense – but somehow Zig knew how to stop her from spiralling – he seemed to recognize her triggers even before she could. Especially lately.

He really was the love of her life.

When she didn’t answer, Zig dipped his head low enough to watch her eyes widen a fraction. “No matter what, I’ll always be here for you. Right here, whatever you need.” He murmured, “even if that means blowing off some steam inside, even if it means being buried under blankets together or wandering around the block for hours – whatever you need.” He placed a soft kiss on her lips, felt her smile through his kiss. “Because that’s what it means to love someone – and in case you haven’t noticed, I love you.”

He drew her closer to him. “I love you enough to put dinner on hold on this cold autumn evening long enough for us to cuddle and watch something. Trust me, I’m never wrong about these things.”

“I love you too.” She replied with a laugh, and the sound brought with it some of tension out of the room. Looping her arms around his neck, she smirked up at him with eyes glittering in amusement. “Well when you put it that way, how’s a girl supposed to say no?”

“That’s the thing. She doesn’t - not my girl anyway.” He kissed her again, nipping on her bottom lip playfully. “My girl is always ready for anything.”

She slid her hands inside his hair, tugging gently until he sucked in his breath. “I’ll give you an even better idea.” She whispered against his lips, her cool breath sending a shiver down his spine. “Fuck the show, fuck me instead.”

“Best idea I’ve heard all week.” Grinning, Zig scooped her inside his arms. Taken by surprise, Dia yelped in surprise before burrowing her smile inside his neck. She closed her eyes, filling her inside with the quiet warmth of his solid body against her as slid her hands around his shoulders. Her grip tightened as they half-stumbled towards the bedroom.

They made a wide berth around their tiny companions, before closing the door shut behind them. They made quick work of their clothes - their want for each other quickly turning into a need to be closer as patience was soon replaced by their heady desire, suddenly desperate to be skin against skin.

Dia could only hope for more nights like this in autumn – where their quaint little home was filled with laughter and the soft whispers of adoration pouring from his tongue; shutting out the quiet coldness of fall as they tumble into bed together while the presence of winter lurked around the corner.

Tags: @mrswalkerwrites, @everythingchoices, @asprankle, @enmchoices, @nerdpossible , @craftytacotrashdream, @mysteli, @simplyaiden-blog, @shirinalshabra, @innerpostmentality

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backtothestart02 · 6 years

Text

Fallen Star - 11/?

A/N: I’m pretty pleased with how this chap turned out. It was almost much angstier, so y’all can credit @westallen94 with inspiring me to make it a little more bittersweet than pure pain. lol.

*This chap goes out to @itzvickilou. Girl is so patient in between updates of this fic. And she did wait so long for this one. I hope this installment is one you end up loving, dear!

*Many thanks to @valeriemperez for beta’ing. :)

Chapter 11 -

The door firmly shut behind her, Linda did her very best to put Barry Allen out of her mind. If she started acting weird, Iris would know something was up. She didn’t know how much wine her friend had consumed, but even after several drinks, Iris had a tendency to sense when something was being hidden from her.

Unfortunately for Linda, when she looked over at Iris, she saw her friend had not barely taken a sip out of her wine glass, and the bottle beside it was still very full.

So much for hoping that she was on her second glass, she mused, then scolded herself. Iris hadn’t wanted to get drunk tonight. She should be thrilled that despite her last-minute push for alcohol, Iris still maintained her sobriety.

“Pizza’s here!” Linda announced, promptly dropping the pizza box on the table in front of Iris.

Miraculously, the wine only swished a little in the glass and bottle.

Resigned, Iris switched her gaze from the blank wall in front of her to the pizza box Linda was opening.

“I’m not really hungry…” she began, her growling stomach promptly interrupting her.

Her face heating up, she met Linda’s gaze sheepishly, earning her a snort in return.

“Oh, yeah, I can tell.”

Still flustered, Iris accepted the inevitable and propped herself up so that she was sitting with her back against the arm of the couch.

“All right, well, what did you get?” she asked.

“Your favorite!” Linda cheered.

That intrigued her. “Oh, yeah?” She turned the now open pizza box toward her, then frowned.

“What?” she demanded. “It’s got all your favorites: red peppers, green peppers, onions, hot peppers, jalapeno peppers, mushrooms, and olives. I even made sure they added in that extra spicy sauce not included on the menu.”

“So, your favorite,” Iris concluded.

“What? No-” But it dawned on her then just how she knew about that sauce. A brief fling with a guy that worked there roughly five years prior. “Oh.”

Iris shook her head. “Don’t worry. It’s fine. I’ll just pick stuff off.” She reached for a slice.

“But the sauce!” Linda warned, but it was too late – for both of them.

Iris thought she could handle her spice pretty well, but this was hotter than anything she’d ever tasted. She downed her whole wine glass in a single gulp and took the ice-cold glass of water Linda handed to her before she had time to down the wine bottle in its entirety.

“Wow.”

Linda laughed nervously. “Yeah…”

“Never again.” Iris pointed a finger accusingly at her best friend.

“Understood.”

Linda grabbed a slice for herself and plopped down on the couch beside Iris, eating the pizza as if it wasn’t setting her entire mouth ablaze and making her eyes water. She turned to see Iris staring at her, shock and disbelief on her face.

“Wha-?” she asked around a mouth full of food.

“I just…” Iris shook her head. “Nothing. You do you, girl,” she said, and poured her wine glass up halfway again.

“So, what are you gonna eat?” Linda asked after she’d downed her first slice and was reaching for another.

“That is an excellent question,” Iris said.

Linda winced. “I could order another pizza.”

She laughed. “How about I just make the brownies now, get high, and forget all about needing actual food in my system to get through the night?”

Linda’s eyes widened, panic setting off all her nerve endings.

“Right.” She swallowed. “Pot brownies.”

Iris had stood up and was about to head towards the kitchen, when she turned to look over her shoulder and saw the panicked look on her best friend’s face.

“I’m kidding.”

Linda blinked and looked up at her. “You are?”

She laughed and sat back down. “Yeah. That’s crime evidence. My dad’s a cop, but there’s only so many lines he’ll cross for his baby girl.” She took another sip of her wine.

Linda’s lips parted; her jaw dropped after what Iris said next.

“It’s just a good thing Barry figured out what was up and came over to demand the drugs. Would’ve been awfully embarrassing for me to have to return to the precinct with it, tail between my legs as I snuck it back to where it came from.”

The smack came on suddenly and had Iris rubbing at her arm and nearly spilling her wine.

“What the hell, West?” Linda demanded, but she was starting to laugh. “You could’ve let me in on your clever secret.”

She shrugged and sank back into the couch, cradling the wine glass in her hand.

“It wouldn’t have sold the same with Barry. And I needed him to actually show up.”

Linda’s brows furrowed.

“Why?”

Iris sunk into herself a little.

“So, I could see him,” she murmured to herself.

Linda’s heart broke.

“Oh, honey.” She took the wine glass from Iris’ hand, set it on the table, and pulled her best friend close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before sinking back into the couch. “You miss him that bad, huh?”

She knew she did. It was a foolish question. But she still asked it because for how crushed she’d appeared in the short period since their break-up, she was the rawest now, the most honest with her feelings.

“It’s like I can’t breathe, Lin. I feel like I’m suffocating every day, knowing I’m not going to be able to see him or talk to him…”

“I’m sure that’ll pass eventually, in time,” she offered. “It’s not like you won’t be a part of each other’s lives forever. You’re family. You’ll be friends again. It’s just…too soon.”

“I don’t know…I don’t know if I can go back to being just friends, Lin. And what about his threat to prevent me from going through with investigating any story that has even a hint of danger to it? If he follows through on that…I think I might just go crazy.”

“So, what are you saying? You’re not going to do that kind of story anymore?”

Iris scoffed. “No, of course not. I love those more than all the rest. They always have the biggest impact. They change lives.” She sighed.

Linda swallowed. “So, then…?”

“Maybe I just won’t be aggressive in searching for one.”

Her brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

Iris pulled back to look into her friend’s eyes.

“I mean…I think I was refusing the simpler stories simply because everyone was getting on my case to not do the more dangerous ones. Maybe the best way to transition is to not do that.”

“I hate to say it…but that may give your ex the impression that you’ve given up. That’s kind of letting him win.”

“It’s not a game, Linda.”

“No, I know it’s not. And I don’t like seeing you in danger, even if I understand why you do run straight into it something, but-”

“It’s okay, Linda. I get it. I’m not going to avoid the stories. I’ll just…take them as they come. And if I get bored of the mundane, which I most certainly will, those criminals will have something coming to them they wish they hadn’t.”

“And that is?”

She smiled mischievously. “Iris West.”

…

A week and a half later, Iris sat at her desk at CCPN and congratulated herself on her progress. She hadn’t gone out for drinks with Linda for at least three days. She slept at her own apartment in her own bed. She was getting work done instead of stalling endlessly, unable to get Barry and their break-up out of her mind.

While she hadn’t been handed a story that would give her a high simply by imagining the potential of it, the stories she was researching, interviewing, writing for were still quality stories. No interrupted robbery, stalled kidnapping, or attempted prison break should go untold, especially when it was the Flash who was stopping these terrible crimes.

And who didn’t love hearing about the Flash’s latest save? Central City citizens loved the Flash. They loved learning about his latest exploits and how great he was. The Flash was good press. Who didn’t want good press? Especially in a newspaper, driving to keep people buying the tangible paper instead of just browsing online.

That was what she’d been hired for initially anyway. Her blog about the Flash.

Her mind came to an abrupt stop when those thoughts registered. She leaned back in her chair and scoffed, disgusted with herself.

“The you from two years ago would have been so disappointed.” She frowned, her nose scrunching up.

She was more than a Flash fangirl. She wanted to write about stories that mattered. They didn’t have to be life or death, but anyone could write about the Flash’s everyday saves. Especially now that she didn’t really have an in with him anymore. She wasn’t at STAR Labs. She wasn’t interacting with anyone there except her dad and brother. And really, they mostly avoided the topic when she saw them. She preferred it that way. So, why the hell was she writing recaps on the Flash’s saves when all she was seeing was what any other citizen on the street could see?

She was supposed to be an Insider. Interviewing people who had been eye witnesses didn’t make her an insider. It made her an interviewer who could transfer words to paper. Which of course was a desirable trait in the industry, but nothing to make her a stand out. Nothing that would save lives. The Flash saved lives every day. Why shouldn’t she?

She pushed herself up out of her chair and walked out of her office down the hall to her editor’s.

“I need to speak with you,” she announced on entry.

Scott lifted his eyes up from the paperwork littering his desk and considered her with a look.

“Miss West, how can I help you?”

“I need you to know that I’m not gonna be your Flash girl anymore.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You’re not?”

“No.”

“You really seem to have a knack for it, though. And you’ve been choosing those stories over literally anything else out there for the past week.”

“I know.”

“And wasn’t that what you were initially hired for?”

She ground her teeth.

“Initially. And I didn’t know it until I got here and found out I wasn’t allowed to write anything else.”

“All right. I’ll bite.” He relaxed in his seat. “What do you want to write, Iris?”

“Something…exciting. Something that matters. Something that will make me work a little. I want to live on the edge.”

He smirked in a way she knew she could have found attractive once upon a time. But there was no hint of a flutter in her chest this time around. Just a hopefulness that he would give her what he asked.

“I think I may have something along those lines.” He turned around in his seat and reached for a file hidden among the clutter there. He flipped through the contents before closing it and handing it to her.

“What’s this?” she asked, taking it immediately, greedy for a story that would make her forget all about the Flash.

“All the information I have on a new arms dealer in town with access to sophisticated weaponry like what Plunder used.”

Her eyes flashed. “Plunder.”

“Your most popular piece in the past week. Surely you can’t have forgotten already.”

No. Of course she hadn’t. Jared Morillo, a.k.a. Plunder, had a penchant for expensive jewelry. With the advanced tech on his guns, it took Flash interrupting him mid-theft three times before he was finally caught. That wasn’t emphasized so much though as was the fact that despite how dangerous he was, he was caught, just like all the others Flash had put to a stop.

“Iris?”

She blinked, looking back at Scott.

“Sorry,” she blurted. “I was just remembering.”

“Right.” He eyed her with some concern, but she ignored it. “Well, this guy looks like he might be similar or possibly worse. He could be a copycat, or he could be in line with Plunder and just picking up where he left off.”

She nodded. “Okay.” She paused for a beat then asked the question she knew she had to. “And…the police?”

He folded his hands in his lap. “I don’t know if they know anything. If they do, it’s not their top priority. I know your dad’s a detective, so if you think it’d be better in his han-”

“I’ll take it.” No way was she letting him finish that sentence. “I won’t let you down.”

He smiled a little. “I look forward to your article, Miss West.”

She smiled a little herself, then backed out of the office and retreated to her own. Setting the file on her desk, she closed out the tabs on her computer and opened a new one.

She could feel the blood pumping through her veins again, the adrenaline from taking on an exciting story that few people were even aware of. And it would change lives. She would make a difference.

…

CCPN was in near darkness when Iris left later that night. She’d gotten a lot of research done, but she knew she’d had to do a lot more, as well as interviewing several possibly connected parties before she could move in on the situation. For now, though, she was content.

And hungry. And exhausted.

She half-debated calling up Linda for some food, but her girl had looked more exhausted than she felt now when she left three hours ago. She decided not to bug her. It was a five-block walk to her apartment from here. She knew there was a good chance there was something to eat in her fridge, and with her apartment being as small as it was, her bed wasn’t far away either.

She cut down the same alleyway as always, not paying mind to how quiet it was, even though it was late. She was almost to the end of it when she thought she saw something move in her peripheral vision. She didn’t stop moving, but she turned her head slightly to see if there was anyone behind her or if she’d imagined it. She didn’t see anyone, but she did pull her purse higher up her shoulder.

Please don’t let me be mugged. Please don’t let me be mugged.

She rehearsed the kickboxing moves she hadn’t used in years in her mind, just in case she needed to pull them out at 11:30 at night in a dark alley that she just now was considering maybe wasn’t the best shortcut she could be taking.

She felt a tugging on her purse and spun around just in time to see a gun pointed in her face. Breathing heavily, she held her hands up in the air. Some fancy punches might work in hand-to-hand combat, but they wouldn’t do so well with a speeding bullet. Not when she was alone like this.

“Give me your purse,” the masked man demanded. “Hand it over or I’ll shoot.”

She wanted to retaliate, to talk back, and maybe she’d be able to, but not tonight. Fear was enveloping her in full force, demanding she succumb to it.

“But it matches her coat so nicely,” came the vibrating voice in the distance.

Iris felt the load lift off her shoulders and relief course through her.

The man turned around to see who’d addressed him, and when he did, Iris snatched the gun out of his hand and stuck it in her own purse.

“What the-”

But the Flash had him in CCPD custody before he could question what had become of his gun.

Iris was breathing heavily once she reached her apartment. She loved the thrill of running into a situation, knowing what great things it would do for her readers and those in danger once she came out the other side. But when it was out of her control, even if it was just a simple mugging, it was terrifying.

She’d have it out of her system by morning, she was sure. But as she sat the gun down on the kitchen table and stared at, she experienced again her hairs standing on end, her heart racing as she stared at the barrel intending to end her life.

The knock at the door startled her. She almost didn’t answer it, but then-

“Iris?”

Another sigh of relief.

“Iris, it’s me.”

Taking a deep breath, she picked up the gun, went to the door and opened it. She was greeted by a worried Barry Allen, who looked like he hadn’t slept in a week.

“Come to collect the evidence agai-”

“Are you okay?”

Her tongue suddenly thick and heavy in her mouth, it took her a while to find words.

“Y-yeah,” she rasped. “I’m…I’m okay, Barry.”

He swallowed and nodded, then looked down at the weapon in her hand.

“I…I should probably…”

“Yeah, of course.”

She handed it over to him, and their fingers touched, not moving for the longest time. She could barely breathe.

Barry snapped out of it first, tucking the gun into his pocket before hesitantly looking up at her.

“You handled herself really well out there, Iris.”

Her heart raced. That was the kind of glowing compliment that usually led to sex. Especially because she knew it was genuine.

“I couldn’t have done it without the Flash,” she said softly, kicking herself when she remembered that their estrangement was based on her not needing him to save her.

“You’re really okay?” he asked. That should’ve annoyed her, but the tenderness in his voice was so…

“I’m fine, Barry. I promise.”

He swallowed and nodded. She could see the wheels in his mind working, wanting to say or do something because of how long it had been. Maybe he’d been missing her as much as she’d missed him. Maybe he was using this as an excuse to see her. Hell, maybe he’d coerced the guy into trying to rob her so he could save the day. At the moment, even the latter possibility didn’t bother her.

“Well, then, I guess I should-” He started to back away.

“Are you okay, Barry?” she asked, biting her bottom lip as she leaned against the doorframe.

He stilled and met her eyes. His mouth opened and closed several times, saying everything and nothing, the same as her. She wanted to yell and cry and scream and hug him and kiss him and pull him into her apartment and make love to him just to feel his skin against hers again, hear his racing heartbeat against her ear when she laid her head on his chest.

But of course, none of that happened. It couldn’t.

“Goodnight, Barry,” she said softly, so he wouldn’t have to answer.

He smiled slightly, appreciatively. “Goodnight, Iris.”

And then he was gone. She saw the flash of red as he ran past her window and sighed as she leaned back against her door.

“The man I love is a superhero,” she whispered to herself.

Then her eyes closed, and tears soaked her eyelashes.

So close, but not close enough.

*Also posted on AO3.

#westallen #fanfiction #backtothestart02 fanfiction #fallen star #chapter 11

44 notes · View notes

millennial-medusa · 6 years

Text

Help Me Piece It All Together, Darling

This was just supposed to be a little Jasiper drabble for my Baseball AU, but I love these two so much and it got away from me and, well...here’s 11k words of them being idiots and honestly barely any baseball. It is absolutely as cheesy as it sounds.

This is set their sophomore year, so earlier than the other fics I’ve written for this au.

Jason x Piper, rated T, read on ao3

Jason Grace might just be the death of her.

She’d thought he was attractive as soon as she’d started going to baseball games last year and spotted him from the stands. She’d thought he was gorgeous when she’d approached him at that bar a few months ago, the couple drinks in her system giving her the courage to toss her hair and tease him a little, the resulting blush across his cheeks and the electric blue of his eyes weakening her knees.

But now, sitting in the library watching him help Leo through a research paper with all the patience and kindness and—yes, she’d admit it, grace, no pun intended—of a seasoned kindergarten teacher, she was positive he was the most beautiful person she’d ever met.

And this was a problem.

It was a problem because Piper, despite being a decent flirt when she wanted to be, had absolutely zero skills in terms of getting a guy to date her. She’d had her fair share of one night stands and casual hookups, but those were easy; the kind of guys that were willing to do one night stands were willing to do them with anyone decently attractive and emotionally detached. Piper checked those boxes pretty well, minimal work required.

But Jason wasn’t one of those guys. The more time she spent with him, the more obvious it was that he was the kind of guy to hold open doors and only kiss on the third date and ask for a lady’s favor before going to fight a dragon for her hand because he was literally a knight in shining armor, and it sucked because Piper was pretty sure she was the scullery maid in that scenario. Or the evil step-sister. Or the dragon.

(Okay, she reasoned, she wasn’t that bad. She wasn’t evil. Just hopeless and delusional. One of the nameless court ladies who swooned at a glance from the knight, but was overlooked in favor of the lovely and virtuous princess he would live happily ever after with.)

So a crush on Jason was a terrible, awful, absolutely horrendous idea, but for some reason her heart didn’t get the message her brain was so desperately signaling to it with red flags and emergency flares, because it kept picking up speed with every blindingly white smile he sent her from across the table.

(What had she just been saying about swooning?)

“But I say right there what it’s about,” Leo was complaining, gesturing to his laptop screen.

“No, that’s your topic sentence for that paragraph,” Jason explained. He ran a hand through his already mussed hair.

Piper wanted to run her own hands through it, tugging on the blonde locks while her tongue explored his mouth.

“Isn’t that what a topic sentence is supposed to do?”

“Yes, but you don’t have a thesis. Or an introduction.”

“Why would I need one of those when you made me write that abstract thing that explained the whole paper anyway? I still maintain that invalidates even needing to write a paper, by the way.”

“Leo, have you ever written an essay in your life?”

Leo’s eyes darted to Piper’s, and twin smiles stretched slowly across their faces.

“Oh yeah,” Leo answered, turning back to Jason. “I’ve written tons, and they were fantastic. Totally winners.”

Piper bit back a laugh. “Honestly, Leo’s written some of the finest essays of our generation. I’m incredibly proud of my—ah, of his work,” she added.

Jason’s brow furrowed—in a non-totally adorable and distracting way, of course—as he glanced back and forth between the two of them.

“Leo,” he repeated slowly, fixing him with a stern gaze, “have you ever written an essay in your life?”

“Define ‘written.’”

“Are you serious?” Jason’s eyebrows hit his hairline, and Piper didn’t bother to hold back her laughter. “How did you get through high school? How did you get through all of last year?”

Leo grinned over at him. “Wilderness school didn’t assign too many essays, and when they did, they didn’t read them closely enough to realize the similarities in Piper’s and my writing styles.”

Jason’s eyes widened before landing on Piper. “You—you wrote his essays for him? For all of high school?”

Piper shrugged. “Like he said, there weren’t that many to write. Besides, I can knock out a three page paper in less than an hour, and Leo did lots of my math assignments to pay me back.”

“Yes, she drove a hard bargain, but every equation was worth it to not have to analyze Jane Eyre," Leo sighed.

“What can I say? The rates are high, but I provide excellent customer service.”

“Absolutely. I’d give you four stars on yelp.”

“Only four? That rhetorical analysis of Mark Antony’s speech got you a 98!”

“Sure, the quality is great, but your options are limited. You’re not writing this essay, for example.”

“You’re right, the uses of obscure elements is a little out of my scope of provided services. That’s what you get for taking chemistry.”

“What good are you comm majors if you can’t even write my essays for me?”

“You committed plagiarism for four years and got away with it?” Jason interrupted with a harsh whisper.

“Relax, Sparky, the teachers didn’t care what we did as long as we sat quietly,” Piper laughed.

“Which, naturally, we always did,” Leo added. “We’re both known for our ability to sit in silence and behave just like we should.”

Jason shook his head. “I have no idea how I ended up with the two of you for friends.”

“Aww c’mon, you know you love us,” Leo crooned.

Jason chuckled and adjusted his glasses. “You’re lucky I do. I would not risk having ‘aiding and abetting criminals’ on my record for anybody else.”

With that, the air shifted. Piper felt her stomach drop, and her eyes met Leo’s again, but this time the knowledge that passed between them was not of an inside joke. The laughter had disappeared from their expressions, and Jason noticed.

“Guys?” he asked tentatively, glancing between the two of them nervously before landing on Piper. “Is everything okay? Did I say someth—”

“So I don’t have a thesis,” Leo interrupted, “what is that, exactly?”

Jason was still studying Piper, who was avoiding his gaze. She could feel his eyes, all too perceptive, roaming over her drawn face and tensed shoulders, but she focused resolutely on the textbook in front of her.

“Your thesis statement sums up your argument and the key points you’re using to prove it,” she spoke up, her gaze trained on Leo now. “It’s like, a shortened version of the back of a book. Or a highlights reel. Or a movie trailer.”

Leo looked back at her blankly. “So…another thing that sums up the whole paper. Why do I have to write the whole paper if I can prove it in one sentence?”

Piper rolled her eyes, but, to his credit, Jason managed a small smile. “It doesn’t prove your claim, it just gives a little preview of how you’re going to prove it. It gives the reader an idea of what to expect,” he explained, far more patiently than Piper ever could have. She was good with words, but even Leo exceeded her patience at times like these.

Jason was just so good. Piper couldn’t think of anybody deserving of him, especially not herself.

Her heart ached.

Over the past three months, Jason had fit seamlessly into Leo and Piper’s lives, clicking instantly. She and Jason were easy friends in their own right, getting pizza together or hanging out in the apartment when Leo was out. Of course, she’d befriended Percy, Annabeth, and many of the other team members and their assorted friends in the same amount of time, but her connection to Jason was just…different, somehow. And not just because she was perilously close to falling in love with him already.

Leo would always be Piper’s best friend—they’d been through so much together that losing him wasn’t even a possibility to Piper, they were stuck with each other for life—but Jason, even after only three months, was already a close second. After their initial meeting of tipsy flirting, they’d bonded quickly over their shared love of baseball and Disney movies.

So now Piper knew just how kind and genuine of a person he really was. She also knew how much of a disaster she was, and how much he didn’t deserve to have to put up with that.

So she suffered in silence, hoping her little crush would go away painlessly and soon. The way her stomach flipped when Jason glanced over at her again, his eyes still slightly apprehensive, seemed to insist she would not be getting an easy out.

When she tuned back into the boys’ conversation, Jason was asking Leo when the paper was due.

“Tomorrow?” he yelped at Leo’s answer. “And you waited until now to ask for my help? Leo, you have six more pages to write, we’re gonna be here all night!”

“Nice rhyme, Dr. Seuss,” Leo teased, but at the look Jason gave him, he ducked his head guiltily. “I know, honestly I didn’t think writing a dumb essay would take that long,” he mumbled. “You guys can go home if you want, it’s pretty late and finals are in a few days and I’m sure I can figure this out—”

Piper just snorted. “Not going anywhere, Valdez. We’re a team.”

“She’s right,” Jason chimed in, patting Leo lightly on the shoulder. “I meant it when I said I’d help. If we have to stay until the paper is due, then that’s what we’re gonna do.”

Leo smiled at both of them, and they went back to work.

—

Three hours later, Piper felt her eyelids drooping. It was only 10 PM, but she'd had gotten up early and worked all day, so she could already tell staying up with Leo was gonna be rough. The boys, she noted, were looking a little frazzled too, so she stood and told them she was going on a coffee run.

Jason frowned. “It’s late, Pipes, are you sure you should be walking across campus alone?”

Warmth spread through her at his concern, but she shrugged it off and her jacket on. “I’m a tough girl, I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

Jason opened his mouth to protest, but Leo cut him off. “Just go with her, Jason, I need some time alone anyway.”

Piper nodded at Jason’s questioning glance, but she glared daggers at Leo when Jason turned to grab his coat. Leo just gave her a shit eating grin; he’d picked up on Piper’s crush early on and frequently found excuses to leave them alone together.

A few moments later, Piper and Jason were walking out into a wall of freezing December air that had Piper tugging her coat around her and wishing she could cuddle up to Jason. Strictly to conserve heat, naturally.

They chatted easily as they walked to a small coffee shop about five minutes away, the only one on campus open 24 hours.

“Are your finals bad?” Jason asked, his words a puff of steam in the frigid air.

Piper shook her head and buried her hands deeper in her pockets. “Nah. My media law final is the only one I’m really worried about, but I think I’ll do okay. What about yours? Is that political theory stuff still giving you trouble?”

“I’ve been studying for it, so I think I’ll be okay,” he shrugged.

“I wish I had the self discipline to already be studying for finals,” Piper grumbled. “I can’t get myself to study before the last minute.”

Jason laughed at her sullen expression. “You just need the right motivation, like a reward or a study buddy.”

“You offering?” She caught his eye and smirked; Jason blushed a pretty shade of pink that spread down his neck and disappeared beneath the collar of his peacoat. Piper found herself wishing she could see just how far down that blush travelled.

“Yeah—I mean, if you wanted,” Jason stammered, looking hurriedly away from her.

Piper cringed inwardly; she hadn’t meant to embarrass or pressure him. But she had to admit, having someone to make her study would be helpful—Leo was no help at all and Annabeth had her hands full with Percy—and she couldn’t bring herself to say no to spending time with Jason, even if she should for her own sake.

“I’d like that,” she found herself saying, and his resulting smile was so bright she forgot all about the awkwardness of the previous moment. His teeth were so perfect and straight, he could’ve done toothpaste commercials, she noted. And his lips—well, Piper had spent plenty of time thinking about them already; they were a little thin and a little chapped, but they were so frequently pulled into a smile and looked so inviting she knew she wouldn’t mind the roughness if they were working with her own. She wanted to bite the scar on his upper lip—where had it come from? She’d have to ask him sometime.

Her eyes traveled upward then, following the gentle slope of his nose to his bright blue eyes. Piper usually preferred brown, like her own, but Jason’s were so genuinely captivating, fringed with long, blonde lashes, that she longed to drown herself in them.

That thought snapped her out of her haze: she wasn’t this much of a fucking sap, and she couldn’t afford to be thinking things that sounded like they were written by a lovesick thirteen year old. She couldn’t take her eyes off his, though, and she noted the way they dropped to her mouth as her tongue darted out to wet her lips.

He was looking at her mouth. And his eyes were different somehow—darker? Or maybe that was just the shadowy lighting, but either way he was definitely staring at her mouth and either he was going to stop and kiss her or she had something stuck in her teeth. She really hoped it was the former, because they’d gotten so close their arms were touching as they walked and his eyes were flitting up to her own and back down again, and Piper prayed, oh she prayed that she was right because she was leaning forward now so there was no going back and—

Unfortunately, staring prolongedly at a boy who probably wasn’t even into her meant that Piper didn’t notice the patch of ice she was walking towards.

She shrieked as her feet slid out from under her, the dark pavement suddenly racing towards her. She braced for impact, but instead of freezing concrete to the nose, she felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist and hauling her back to her feet.

Before she could fully process what was happening she found herself pressed entirely up against Jason’s front, his arms securely around her waist and his wide eyes blinking down at her from behind his glasses. Her hands settled on his chest as they stared at each other, and then slid down to grip his forearms. Neither his hands nor his gaze shifted.

Piper swallowed hard before noting just how nice his arms felt, even through his coat. All those workouts and baseball practices had really paid off.

Jason’s cheeks were stained crimson again—he blushed a lot, and Piper adored it—but he started laughing.

“Yeah, uh, I guess they have,” he said. Suddenly his eyes went wide. “Not—not that you’re heavy, or anything. Because you aren’t. I mean, you’re like, average weight I assume? For a girl your height? I don’t really know, I haven’t caught very many people—”

Piper was mortified her comment had been spoken aloud, but thankfully Jason’s own stammering had shifted the focus off of her.

“What?” she asked, cutting him off with a raised eyebrow. “You mean to tell me you don’t regularly swoop in and catch people? And here I thought you were some kind of blonde Superman. It’s kind of a let down that you don’t save the day all the time.”

Jason grinned, a little sheepishly, but without most of the previous nervousness. “Haven’t noticed too many people falling.”

Piper’s heart hammered in her chest, and surely he could feel it with the way they were still pressed together. Then you must be blind, she wanted to say.

Instead, she stepped back, letting his arms fall away from her. She instantly felt the chill seep into her as though she weren’t even wearing a coat.

“Guess it’s just me, then,” she quipped, tossing him a smile as they headed toward the coffee shop again. They were nearly there. “Figures, I’m pretty clumsy.”

A small smile appeared on Jason’s face at that. Piper saw him attempt to subtlety lengthen his strides—attempt being the key word, because it wasn’t subtle at all—and reached the door first, just in time to open it for her, ever the perfect gentleman. “Hey, every princess needs a little saving now and then,” he said.

This time, Piper was the one blushing.

—

Piper McLean was going to be the death of him, he was sure of it.

Jason had never been great with girls. He knew there had been girls who’d liked him in the past, definitely more than a few who’d flirted with him, but he never had much interest. The only relationship he’d ever had was with Reyna in high school, and that had been short lived; Jason cared about her deeply but not romantically, and Reyna…well. Reyna had ended up dating his older sister.

Where was he going with that? Oh, he was bad with girls. Right.

So when he’d seen Piper across that bar in September, he’d nearly panicked. She was gorgeous, looking him up and down with eyes that were shifting color, and she seemed to approve of what she saw, but Jason couldn’t flirt to save his life when he was sober, let alone several drinks in. Luckily she’d been about as drunk as he had, so she hadn’t minded his inability to keep up with her.

Since that night, Jason couldn’t get her out of his head. She was beautiful and brilliant and funny, and they just matched. The more time he spent with her, the harder he fell, and he knew it would end badly because she was clearly out of his league—but that didn’t stop him.

Being around her and knowing she would never be interested in him was torture, but if it meant he could make her laugh and watch her re-braid her hair and listen to the little songs she made up under her breath when she thought he couldn’t hear, then he’d gladly suffer every day of his life.

They’d gotten the coffee and headed back to the library after the rather embarrassing incident outside the shop (he wanted to die a little remembering how he’d basically called her heavy, and that he’d stood there and not let her go like some kind of clingy creeper. It was worth it to get to hold her like that—it just felt right—but still. And had he really called her a princess in need of saving? As if Piper needed him to save her. Piper was more like a badass queen who slew her own dragons, so Jason really had no idea what had possessed him to make that comment).

In any case, they’d made it through the rest of the night without any more awkward moments, and now, at nearly 4 AM, Leo was finishing up his paper. Jason’s eyelids had been drooping for the past hour even with the enormous amount of coffee he drank, and Piper had slumped forward and fell asleep on her arms some time ago. Leo, however, somehow managed to maintain his ridiculously high energy levels, which struck Jason as a little concerning. Did he ever sleep?

“Okay,” he was saying now, his fingers flitting frantically over the keyboard, “what if I shifted this quote down here, and I could add something up here about the chemical bonding process?”

Jason shook his head to wake himself up. It didn’t work. “Uh, yeah, if you’ve got more to say about…about uh, chemical bonding, I say go for it, man.”

He looked over at Piper. One of her arms was extended across the table in front of her, and the other was bent next to it. Her head rested on them at an angle that didn’t look comfortable to Jason, but either didn’t bother Piper or the discomfort was outweighed by her exhaustion. Her hair was a mess, thrown across her shoulders and sticking to her face. Jason’s fingers twitched on the table, wanting to brush it back.

Even when she was messy and undone and practically drooling onto her oversized flannel, Piper still made Jason’s heart skip a beat. It wasn’t that she was traditionally beautiful at all times (because that was just unrealistic), but she was her own kind of beautiful, and it was the most breathtaking kind Jason had ever seen.

He must have been staring, because Leo nudged his shoulder and shot him a knowing grin that heated Jason’s cheeks. “I’ve got this covered here, if you wanna take Piper to bed.”

Jason’s face went full red at that. “What? I-I wouldn’t—she’s, I mean that’s not really—”

And then Leo was laughing, laughing way too loudly for four in the morning. “Relax, Grace, I just meant take her back to our place. This is basically all written, but I’ll probably stay a couple more hours to finish editing and then print it and turn it in while I’m up, so I’m not gonna be able to take her back. And I don’t…I don’t like her walking alone at night, even if she says she can,” he added quietly, suddenly more serious. Jason nodded in agreement. The idea of Piper going out alone at night on a college campus made his stomach turn. He knew how a lot of guys their age could be and wouldn’t put it past them to try something, as horrible as that was.

And the thought of one of them trying something with Piper made him want to punch someone’s teeth out.

“You sure you’re okay here?” he asked. “I can stay if you need more help.”

Leo shook his head. “I’m good now. But listen…thanks. I know this isn’t your ideal Saturday night, so, um, thank you.” He kept his gaze down, fiddling with his fingers like he always did, but this time it seemed more…agitated?

Nervous, Jason realized.

He gripped Leo’s shoulder tightly until the other boy met his gaze. “Remember what Piper said about us being a team? That includes me now, and I’ve always got your back, Leo.”

A grin lit up Leo’s face, and he shoved the hand off his shoulder playfully. “Welcome to Team Valdez and the Crew, then!”

“That name needs a little work.”

“What are you talking about? It’s perfect!”

“I somehow doubt Piper signed off on it, and I may be late to the game but I know I hold some kind of veto power.”

“Fine, we can workshop it. Later. Right now you need to get the beauty queen home, because if she stays like that any longer I’m pretty sure her arm is gonna lose blood flow.”

Jason chuckled and moved to Piper, trying to gently wake her. It took a few tries—wow, she was a deep sleeper—but eventually she stirred.

“Hmm? Jason?” Her eyes blinked in the fluorescent lights of the library, and closed again.

“Yeah, Pipes, it’s me,” he reassured quietly. “Come on, let’s get your coat on.”

“Coat?”

“Yep, I’m gonna get you home.”

“Oh. ‘S cold outside.” Jason had to keep himself from laughing at her slurred words. Half awake was as good as he was going to get, he supposed, but damn, it was too adorable for him to mind.

“Yep, that’s what the coat’s for.”

“Where’s—” she yawned dramatically— “where’s m’purse?”

“On your shoulder.”

“…oh. Hmm.”

Piper’s eyes were barely open, and he honestly didn’t trust her to not walk into a wall or something, so Jason hesitantly wrapped his arm behind her waist, gripping her hip to keep her pressed to his side. She immediately nuzzled into the crook of his shoulder and sighed, and Jason’s brain sort of broke for a moment. He stared down at the top of her head, his heart pounding.

That doesn’t mean anything, he told himself. Pull it together, man. She’s basically asleep. She doesn’t know what she’s doing.

So he shook his head in an attempt to clear it and started to steer her to the exit.

“Grace!”

Jason turned back a little to half face Leo. “Yeah?”

“Be careful with her. She’s more fragile than she looks.” The normal teasing lilt to his voice was there, but his eyes were serious, piercing into his own with purpose.

Jason nodded solemnly. He knew Leo meant more than just to be careful tonight, though he wasn’t sure exactly what he intended beyond that. What Jason did know is that he would never hurt Piper.

Besides, his own heart seemed much more at risk than hers.

—

Jason was living in a dorm this year and didn’t have a car, but luckily Piper and Leo’s apartment was only a short walk from campus. Plus, the longer they walked, the longer Piper was wrapped up in his arm, pressed against his side and nuzzling into him like a kitten.

By the time they reached her apartment building, the chill and the walk had woken Piper up some, and she was a bit more conscious of what was going on, but Jason noted giddily that she made no attempt to move away from him. In fact, she may have even pushed closer, but that could have been his imagination. Besides, it was probably just because it was below freezing and she wasn’t completely awake.

(He really didn’t mind.)

Finally he had to release her so she could kick off her shoes and shrug her coat off and fall into bed. He felt colder without her, and almost…hollow, like something was missing where she had been? But that was just silly. They were just friends, and he was fine with that. He had to be.

“Okay, well if you’re good I’m gonna—” he gestured towards her door, starting to leave, but her soft voice calling his name stopped him in his tracks.

“Just crash here,” she said sleepily, her eyes barely open. “It’s late.”

“Only if you don’t mind,” he said, but he was praying she would insist because it was freezing, and his dorm was on the other side of campus, and he was almost as exhausted as she was.

“‘Course not.” She yawned again, and her eyes drifted shut. “C’mere.”

Jason blinked, confused. “Um, I’ll just sleep on the couch, Pipes,” he tried to explain, but even in her mostly-asleep state she was pushy.

“Couch is lumpy and I want you to stay here,” she insisted, though her slurred words made her a little less intimidating than usual.

Still, Jason hesitated. She was so tired she was practically drunk, she could not be thinking straight. She’d probably wake up tomorrow and wonder what was wrong with him that he didn’t ignore her.

“C’mon, Sparky, I’m cold,” she pleaded, and when he glanced back at her, her eyes were open and clear. “Please?”

As Jason toed off his sneakers, draped his coat over her desk chair, set his glasses carefully aside, and crawled into bed beside her, he was cursing himself for being so weak for this woman. He knew he’d regret it tomorrow, but, well…he just couldn’t say no to her.

—

Piper woke suddenly. She sat up and glanced around blearily, trying to find what had woken her up. Her eyes landed on her clock. It was 7:28 on a Sunday morning, why the hell—

A noise came from beside her, a kind of strangled yelp, and she jumped. Jason was lying in her bed—Jason was lying in her bed, oh, God—Jason was lying in her bed—and he was shaking, a thin sheen of sweat glistening on his frowning forehead. His chest was heaving, and Piper realized with a clench of her heart that he was having a nightmare.

She placed a hand on his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat beneath her fingers. Then she shook him gently, trying to wake him up.

“Jason,” she whispered, repeating it louder when he didn’t stir.

Suddenly he jolted awake, gasping, his eyes glancing about the room frantically before landing on her face and softening.

“Piper?” he croaked.

“Yeah, Jason, it’s me,” she answered softly, unthinkingly combing his hair back from his forehead. He leaned into her touch and her heart nearly stopped. What was she doing? It had been stupid of her to ask him to stay; he would’ve been fine on the couch.

He seemed to notice something was off, and he coughed awkwardly as he sat up. “I should go,” he muttered, not meeting her eyes. “I-I shouldn’t have stayed, I’m sorry, you were basically asleep, you—”

“I asked you to stay, and I meant it,” she insisted. It was the truth, even if she was kicking herself now for practically forcing herself on him. He paused and wiped the sweat from his brow. Together, they waited in silence for something Piper couldn’t name.

“What was it about?” she asked hesitantly. Her voice was small and cautious. “The dream.”

Jason’s head lifted and their eyes met, sparks lighting up Piper’s spine. Her nickname for him was more accurate than he realized.

But he hesitated, and Piper rushed to add, “If you don’t wanna talk about it that’s fine, I shouldn’t have pried, I just thought maybe—”

“My mom,” he answered quietly. “My real mom. She—well, she was an alcoholic, so Thalia and I got taken away from her when I was really little. I barely remember her, just bits of memories here and there. I was only two, so...I found out later my dad is some politician, barely even knew we existed, and his wife hated us so she made sure they didn’t have to take us. We were put into foster care, different families. Took us years to find each other again.”

His gaze hadn’t wavered from hers, and Piper could see the pain in his eyes. She hadn’t meant to make him relive something that hurt so much, she hadn’t realized.

“Jason,” she breathed, her hand finding his. He gripped it hard.

“She died,” he said, his eyes finally dropping from hers to settle on their hands. “Went sort of crazy and drank herself to death a couple years after we were taken away. I only found out years later, when Thalia told me. I never…I didn’t get to see her again.”

His hand was shaking in hers, so Piper squeezed harder. Minutes ticked by in silence, and she wasn’t sure how else to comfort him. There was nothing she could think to say to make him feel better, and it didn’t feel right to try to brush past what he’d just admitted to her. He’d opened up a huge part of himself to her.

Maybe that called for her to do the same.

“I never knew my mom,” she said finally. Jason glanced up at her earnestly, questioningly. She took a shaky breath and continued, “My dad’s a movie star and all so I guess it could be pretty much anyone, but he never talks about her and shuts down when I ask, so I gave up on trying a long time ago. He was never really around either though, with his film schedule and press stuff. He tried, for a while anyway, when I was little. He used to come home more often and take me to the beach, but I was always a difficult kid and pretty soon it was visits for a day every couple weeks when he could make the time to fly out and see me. Pretty sure he didn’t even want a kid, but he was stuck with me.”

Jason was watching her, studying her face openly, but she couldn’t meet his gaze. Instead she focused on their entwined hands, as he had done. Her fingers played with his as she talked, and she took comfort in the fact that he let her.

“Anyway, Leo and I met in middle school and he got me through it. His mom was really sweet to me, way nicer than the nanny my dad hired to watch me most of the time. That’s around the time I…I started acting out? You know, doing stupid stuff to get my dad to pay attention to me, even if it was just to scold me or whatever. Leo was happy to help, and after his mom died and he got stuck with his awful relatives it just got worse, and we probably spent most of our time in detention. It wasn’t enough for me, though, and it kept escalating, and I—I was in a really bad place, but my sophomore year I got caught shoplifting some clothes.”

She paused to look up at him, expecting to see judgement written across his face, but she found only the same earnest expression as before.

“It was dumb, and my dad’s lawyers got me off without anything on my record somehow, but I finally got my dad’s full attention. He flew all the way home just to chew me out.” She laughed a little at the absurdity. “It was really bad, and the next week I was at wilderness school, which was like this boarding school for troubled kids out in the middle of some bumblefuck Nevada desert.”

“Shit, Piper,” Jason said, “I’m sorry.”

Piper waved him off. “Please, even the racial slurs those kids threw at me is nothing compared to what you just told me, and Leo acted up enough to end up out there with me, so it wasn’t the end of the world. I just thought I should be honest.”

Jason frowned. “You don’t owe me anything. I told you that stuff because I wanted to, Pipes. I trust you.”

“I know. I trust you too,” she answered, squeezing his hand. “So now that we’ve agreed that parents are shitty, wanna go back to sleep for a few hours?” She forced a smile and hoped he would miss the tension behind it.

He studied her a moment longer, but finally relented with a nod. Together they lay back down in Piper’s bed and drifted back into sleep.

Piper smiled to herself at the realization that they were still holding hands.

—

The second time Jason woke that morning was not to Piper’s voice calling him out of a nightmare, but to her hair in his mouth and Leo’s loud laughter, which was somewhat less pleasant.

Apparently they had shifted over the last few hours so they were no longer holding hands; rather, Piper was stretched out face down on top of him, one leg slung over his hips and her head nestled on his chest, hence the aforementioned hair in his mouth. Jason had instinctually wrapped his arms around her, and he thanked every deity he could think of that there was no morning…issue to deal with. The situation was embarrassing enough without it.

He stared down at her as she came to, blinking confusedly in the morning light before meeting his eyes. She seemed to realize where she was then and shot up, Jason’s arms jerking back immediately.

Leo laughed again from the doorway, wiping tears from his eyes. “Jason, man, I told you I didn’t mean it literally when I said take her to bed!” he was giggling, and Jason felt his face flush brightly.

He was gonna kill him.

“Leo, get out of my room before I murder you,” Piper snapped from behind her hands covering her face.

Never mind, Piper had it handled.

Leo did as she asked, but not before blowing them each a kiss and winking at Jason.

The pause that followed was tense, unsurprisingly.

“Piper,” he started, but she interrupted him.

“I’m sorry, I was asleep so obviously I didn’t really know what I was doing,” she rushed, sliding out of bed and hurrying around her room, searching the clutter until she found a hair tie to braid her hair back with as she talked. “I wouldn’t have—I mean, I shouldn’t have made you stay. Sorry.”

Jason grit his teeth. There was the rejection he’d been anticipating since last night. It hurt more than he'd expected, but it was his own fault. He'd known the risks. He should’ve just slept on the couch. He should’ve kept quiet about his mom. He should’ve stopped her, told her he wasn’t trying to pressure her into talking, into anything.

He should’ve known better.

“No, I’m sorry,” he muttered, trying to mask the hurt on his face and bending to put his shoes on. “I appreciate you letting me stay. I’m gonna head out.”

She may have nodded, or maybe she didn’t answer, or maybe she watched him go. He wasn’t sure, he walked out and didn’t look back.

—

Piper didn’t hear from him for the next several days, and kicked herself every time she checked her phone hoping to see a message from him. Of course he isn’t gonna text you, she chided, you basically told him you regretted letting him stay over right after he poured his heart out to you, and you were cuddling with him when he woke up. You’ll be lucky if he talks to you again.

So Piper went to Annabeth, the only person she’d actually told about her feelings for Jason, unsure of what exactly she was hoping for.

What she got was a frown over the carton of ice cream they were sharing.

“You’re taking all the cookie dough chunks,” Annabeth complained.

“No I’m not. Focus on the real issue here!”

“The issue of you not telling Jason how you feel? Because that’s the real issue.”

Piper rolled her eyes; they’d had this exact conversation about a million times already. “There’s no reason to ruin the friendship we’ve got because my stupid feelings got in the way.”

“You seem to think you’ve already ruined it,” Annabeth pointed out, nudging Piper’s spoon away from another chunk of cookie dough.

“It’s been three days, what am I supposed to think?”

“Maybe he got busy?” Annabeth suggested. “Maybe his phone got broken or lost, maybe he thought you didn’t want to hear from him. Have you tried texting him?”

Piper bit her lip and focused very hard on getting a decent spoonful of ice cream.

“You haven’t even tried texting him. Of course not. Piper, I thought you were good with guys!”

“I am!” she insisted. “Guys that I wanna sleep with and then never see again, or that I want to flirt with and not have to worry about their feelings. But Jason is all perfect and handsome and sweet and suddenly my brain feels like it’s been zapped by lightning.”

Annabeth raised an eyebrow. “Well he probably thinks you don’t want to hear from him and is agonizing over why you haven’t texted him.”

Piper perked up a little at that. “You think so?”

“I don’t know, Percy said he was really off Monday but seems mostly fine now, just distracted. Sounds like it could have something to do with why he hasn’t said anything.”

Piper chewed on her lower lip, mulling the possibilities over. Either he was distracted by what had happened Sunday—though she hoped that wasn’t the case—or something else had happened and that was keeping him preoccupied. She just had to figure out what was bothering him, and then maybe things could go back to normal.

“So you think I should text him?”

Annabeth sighed. “Honestly? I think you should both wake up and realize you’re obviously head over heels for each other. But since neither of you is going to admit it apparently, yes, I think you should text him before it gets weird.”

Piper grinned and snagged a hunk of dough before pulling out her phone.

hey, she typed. Very eloquent. Definitely summed up the “please talk to me I’m really sorry and I miss you also I might be falling in love with you” sentiment she was going for.

But, having nothing else she could think to say, Piper pressed send and waited.

She didn’t have to wait long. Less than a minute later, her phone buzzed with an answering, Hey!! from him. Piper grinned, just as another message followed: What’s up?

“He answer?” Annabeth asked around the spoon in her mouth.

Piper nodded as her fingers flew across the keyboard. just haven’t heard from you in a few days, everything ok?

Yeah everything is fine, I’ve just been busy. he answered. Piper smiled at his perfect grammar. She’d tried to explain to him once that he didn’t need to worry about that with her, but he’d furrowed his brow and asked why she wouldn’t want the same consideration he gave to everyone else. She’d laughed at his seriousness and let the issue drop. She glanced down when her phone buzzed again. Are you still in need of a study buddy?

Only if it’s you, she shot back. It was a little risky, but she figured it was just a casual friendly remark. No hidden truths to be found anywhere.

Her anxiety mounted a little when the three dots showed up at the bottom of the screen and then disappeared. Was that the wrong thing to say? Had that sent her crashing through the thin ice she’d been standing on with him and right into hot water?

But no, his answer was simply, Tomorrow, 7 PM at the library? and she breathed a sigh of relief.

make it the coffee shop and you’ve got a deal

Sounds good. See you then.

Piper grinned giddily down at the screen. Everything was okay, and their friendship was intact.

She looked up to see Annabeth smirking at her from the other side of the couch.

“Shut up,” Piper muttered. Annabeth only shrugged and returned to the ice cream.

—

The “study date”, as Percy and Leo insisted on calling it, went smoothly, much to Jason’s relief. He’d panicked after not hearing from Piper for so long, thinking that either his storming out or the waking up cuddling incident had upset her, so getting a text from her was a huge weight off his shoulders. He focused on everything, including baseball, a little better when he was on good terms with her. It was dangerous, he knew; he couldn’t afford to let every disagreement with a girl he’d only known a few months throw him off his game, but he couldn’t exactly help it. He’d just have to settle for keeping her happy. (Luckily for him, keeping Piper happy was becoming a top priority at an alarming rate. Or…perhaps that was unluckily.)

Things had just about returned to normal between the two of them, and they hung like nothing had changed. Which, Jason reminded himself, was true. Nothing had changed. He just knew for certain that she wasn’t interested in him the way he wanted her to be. But he’d known that before. So.

Jason was just reflecting on this when Leo caught up to him, leaving the locker room after the last practice of the semester.

“You missed an easy shot at the end there, you sure you don’t need a little more practice?”

Jason raised an eyebrow at him. “What’s your average again?”

“Point taken. When are you headed home?”

“I’ve got one more final tomorrow and then I’m out. What about you?”

Leo looked down, his fingers tapping out an agitated rhythm on the shoulder strap of his bag. “I’m staying here, actually. Lotta money to fly to Houston, and I’ve got lots of stuff to work on here, so.” He shrugged.

“You’re from Houston?” Jason frowned. “I thought you and Piper went to school together.”

“We did. Piper lived at her dad’s little ranch house thing even while he was filming, supposedly so she didn’t ‘get sucked into the Hollywood stuff.’ Really it was because he didn’t want to deal with her.” Suddenly Leo glanced at him, eyes wide. “Shit, don’t tell her I said anything, yeah? I probably shouldn’t have told you that.”

Jason waved him off. “I won’t, but it’s fine, she already told me about her dad.”

This seemed to interest Leo. “She did?” A small smile appeared on his face at Jason’s nod, which seemed…odd, for such a serious subject. “Anyway yeah, we knew each other in Texas before we both got banished to the desert.”

“So she’s going home to Texas?”

“Nah, her dad sold the property as soon as she went to college. He didn’t use it, so no point in keeping it if you don’t need somewhere to stash a kid, I guess.” Leo’s tone was bitter, and Jason got the impression Leo felt about the same way toward Tristan McLean as his daughter did. “Besides, Piper’s only going to L.A. for Christmas because she has to, and then she’ll be back. We spend every New Year’s together. It’s tradition.”

“You’re lucky,” Jason commented drily, “my foster mom is great and all, but she’s a little…I don’t know, militant? Makes holidays kind of stressful.”

Leo grabbed his shoulders and pulled him so they were facing each other in the middle of the sidewalk. “Come back for New Year’s.”

“What?”

“I’m serious, you can stay in the apartment until the spring semester starts. You’ll still have Christmas with your mom, but you can have a little fun with us for the new year!”

Jason frowned, thinking it over. “I don’t know, Leo…”

“Piper will be there, too.” Leo wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Jason blushed.

“Are you sure she wouldn’t mind me staying for a couple weeks?”

Leo snorted and released his shoulders so they could walk again. “Please, Piper would love having you there.”

Jason started to ask what that meant, but before he could, Leo slapped him on the back.

“Great! Glad that’s settled. You’re gonna see Piper before you leave, right?”

“Um, I was planning on it, but Leo—”

“Smart man. Have a good break! See you at the end of the month!”

And then Leo was gone, leaving Jason with plans for the holidays and several questions.

—

“He what?”

Jason winced. He knew he shouldn’t have agreed without asking Piper first, but then again, Leo hadn’t left much room for debate.

“Yeah,” he answered once he’d swallowed the bite of pizza he’d been working on. “He kind of insisted, so now I guess I’m spending New Year's and the following couple weeks with you guys? I mean, if that’s okay with you. I can always tell him no,” he added, watching her chew her lip and resisting the urge to reach over and soothe it with his thumb.

“No!” she yelped, and immediately blushed. Probably remembering what had happened the last time he’d stayed with her, he figured. This plan was seeming worse with every passing minute. “It’s fine,” she amended more quietly, “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“I’ll be sleeping on the couch, obviously,” he said with a dry smile. He’d hoped to reassure her, but her face seemed to fall, almost like…disappointment? But that didn’t seem right, unless she really didn’t want him there.

Her expression shifted almost immediately to one of excitement, though, and he didn’t have time to overthink anymore. “Right. It’ll be fun!” she was saying. “You can join in all our New Year’s Eve traditions, like drinking.”

Jason waited a moment for her to continue. She didn’t. “Oh, I thought you were listing things.”

Piper nodded, taking a sip of her soda. “I was.”

“So…?”

“That was the whole list.”

Jason laughed. “Of course. Well, it’s more traditions than I’ve got, so I’d be happy to join in.”

Piper’s answering smile lit up her whole face, and Jason had to swallow hard to keep his heart from jumping into his mouth. She was so beautiful it was just unfair.

—

As soon as Piper walked into their apartment on December 29th, she felt at ease again. Her Christmas had been stressful—which is completely unfair, by the way, it’s Christmas—because yeah, he was her dad, and he was trying and she got that, really she did, but she always felt a little on edge around him because, frankly, they didn’t know each other very well. It was easy for constant filming to get in the way of visiting your kid when you didn’t really want it in the first place.

So coming back to Leo, who always wanted her around and never made her feel awkward in the slightest, was an enormous relief.

“Hey, Beauty Queen, how’s it hanging?” he called from the kitchen.

“I’m sorry,” she laughed, “but I don’t think anyone has used the phrase ‘how’s it hanging’ since, like, the seventies.”

Leo only shrugged, abandoning his bowl of cereal to grab her suitcase and carry it to her room. “I’m bringing it back. The seventies had some great trends.”

“Such as?”

“Well, for starters, I could rock a pair of bell bottomed pants and one of those shiny disco shirts.”

Piper laughed and wrapped him in a tight hug, which he returned enthusiastically. “I missed you, Valdez.”

“Don’t be such a sap. You were gone for like a week and a half.”

“I know, don’t remind me.”

“That bad, huh?” He pulled back to examine her face. “You guys fight?”

Piper shook her head and started unpacking. “I’m just always on edge when I’m there. I hate L.A.”

Leo nodded in solidarity. “Wanna order pizza?”

“Obviously.”

Leo grinned and pulled out his phone.

—

As soon as Jason walked through the door on December 31st, he was treated to the sight of Piper wearing a blue bra, a beanie, jeans, and a single sock. It was in interesting look, but Leo was enough to distract him in socks, boxer shorts, a glove, and a top hat.

Jason was more than a little confused, but had the presence of mind to be grateful that Leo’s outfit was weird enough to take his attention from Piper in just a bra. That thought had the unfortunate effect, however, of directing his attention right back to her though, because Piper was in just a bra and Jason’s brain was sort of short circuiting because holy shit Piper was in just a bra.

(And the pants or whatever, but who could be bothered to look that low when Piper. Was. In. Just. A. Bra.)

Focus on something else, he told himself. Don’t be a creep. That’s super weird and predator-y and you’re not even dating. Yes, Leo’s top hat. Stare at that. Just focus on the top hat. He mentally patted himself on the back for pulling that off.

“Hey,” Leo and Piper called in unison, not even glancing up from the cards in their hands.

“Um, hey,” he answered, pausing to allow one of them to jump in and explain just what exactly was happening. Neither did. “What’s, uh…what’s going on?”

“Strip or sip poker,” Leo answered, laying a card down with incredible focus.

“Sorry?”

“It’s like strip poker, but you have the option of taking a drink instead of losing an article of clothing,” Piper explained, finally looking up at him. “It’s, um…”

Jason could swear her cheeks got redder when their eyes met; he knew his certainly did. Her loss of words made him feel a little better about his own at her state of undress as well.

“It’s our New Year’s Eve tradition,” she finished finally, looking back down at her cards. “Shit, Leo!”

Leo laughed triumphantly at whatever had just happened in the game.

“I thought your tradition was just drinking,” Jason commented, removing his coat and wheeling his suitcase farther into the living room.

“Didn’t you hear the drinking part of the rules?” Leo asked, grinning up at him from his seat on the floor. “Come on, I’ll deal you in as soon as this round’s over, which should be soon with the way Piper’s playing.”

Piper flashed her middle finger at him.

“You guys don’t think it’s weird that you play strip poker together every year?” Jason asked, running a hand through his hair.

“Why would it be weird?” Leo asked.

“You’re playing a game favored by couples and horny groups of teenagers because the purpose is to get naked.’’

“The purpose is to have fun and get drunk,” Piper countered. “Besides, we only strip until we reach our underwear. Then you have to forfeit or chug your drink.”

“I don’t know if I can keep up with these rules,” Jason laughed.

“Well you’re gonna have to learn quick,” she said, smirking. “Hurry up, Grace, it’s only two hours ’til midnight and I’m not even tipsy!"

“Alright, alright, but someone’s gonna have to explain how poker works because I haven’t played it in years.”

Leo and Piper groaned in unison, and Jason grinned as he took a seat where they’d left room for him beside the table. It was good to be back, even if he knew he was about to end up either drunk or naked very quickly.

—

As it turned out, it was a combination of the two.

By the time 11:59 rolled around, Piper had lost her beanie and her other sock, Leo was down to his boxers and top hat, and Jason was left with just his underwear (purple briefs, one of his nicer pairs which he was now thanking himself from this morning for picking out) because, as he’d expected, he lost horribly. He wasn’t nearly as drunk as the other two, however, as he’d had more items of clothing to lose and had to drink less to keep up.

He was exceedingly thankful for that as well, because he had no idea what drunk Jason would say to a half naked Piper and he certainly didn’t want to find out.

There were 60 seconds until midnight, and Leo was trying to get the other two to come out on the fire escape with him, insisting it was the best spot to watch the fireworks. Piper was laughing, definitely drunk but lucid enough to know it was way too cold for that. Jason was insisting Leo get back inside, that it was below freezing and Leo was going to catch a cold out there in just his underwear.

(Leo countered this by explaining he was also wearing a hat.)

There were 45 seconds until midnight, and Leo was attempting to translate Auld Lang Syne into Spanish. Piper was singing the English lyrics, since she didn’t know much Spanish to begin with and translating that was just too difficult. Jason was listening to Piper sing, because she had the most beautiful voice he’d ever heard, which was unfair because everything else about her was beautiful too, and it was keeping him rooted in place, just staring at her.

(Piper caught his eye more than once and her skin took on a pretty deep pink tinge, but Jason figured it was probably just the alcohol.)

There were 15 seconds until midnight, and Leo was beginning to count down, watching his phone to keep track of the seconds as they disappeared into the ether. Piper was warning him to be careful, that he was too drunk to be waving his phone around out there, that he was going to drop it. Jason was watching her inch closer to him, each second vanishing along with an inch of space between them until she was pressed fully to his side and his heart rate was skyrocketing.

(Jason was pressing closer to her too, he realized.)

Three, Leo was shouting over the railing.

Two, Piper was looking up at him expectantly through her eyelashes.

One, Jason panicked.

“Happy New Year!” the three of them yelled together, and Jason bent down, and Piper’s eyes fluttered shut, and he pressed his lips to her cheek, softly, so softly.

He pulled back to see Piper frown, looking almost disappointed. Maybe he wasn’t misreading signals then, maybe Piper really did want him to kiss her, and he’d majorly screwed up. But he wouldn’t let their first (and maybe last, if he really was just tipsy and she wasn’t into him at all) kiss be a drunken fumbling one for the sake of the holiday with Leo jumping around in his underwear. His brain was cloudy and he wanted so badly to press Piper up against a wall and hear her sigh his name, but he knew that she deserved better than anything that would happen tonight.

So together, shivering, they pulled Leo back inside and, after a bit of celebrating and watching whatever fireworks they could see, pushed him in the direction of his room. They all needed to get some sleep.

Jason found himself standing with Piper outside her bedroom door, which was across from Leo’s. She was studying his face, and had the same look in her eyes she’d had at midnight. It had Jason’s breath quickening, and his hands ached to brush her hair behind her ear or find her waist and pull her against him.

“What’s your resolution?” Piper asked, catching him off guard. Her words were only the slightest bit slurred, and her eyes were bright, the color seeming to change in the dim light.

“Haven’t really thought about it,” he answered truthfully.

Piper nodded solemnly, eyes still locked on his. Her voice was gentle, and soothed him even as the heat passing between them riled him up. “Wanna know mine?”

Jason nodded.

“It’s to go after the things I want,” she said, just a whisper, nearly drowned out by the sounds of partying and fireworks from outside.

“I like it,” Jason said. “Does it apply to anything in particular?”

Piper smiled coyly, and Jason couldn’t quite catch his breath. “Mm hm. But I think what I want can wait for another night, when I’m a little more sober.”

Unable to formulate a response to that, Jason nodded mutely again.

She turned and opened her bedroom door. “Goodnight, Sparky.”

“Happy New Year, Pipes.”

Her eyes sparkled at him, and then the door shut and he was left alone in the hallway.

—

Piper spent the first half of the next day hungover and hoping she wasn’t as obvious last night as she thought she’d been, and the second half regretting ever having made that ridiculous resolution because Jason fit so well with her and Leo and she really wasn’t looking forward to the awkwardness that would surely follow his rejection of her, but there was always a chance the heat in his eyes and the tenderness of his kiss last night hadn’t been a drunken hallucination, and besides, Piper had committed to going after what she wanted. What she wanted was him, and every time she thought about backing out she reminded herself that mama didn’t raise no bitch.

(You know, metaphorically, because she had no idea who her mother was and her father certainly didn’t raise her and the nanny didn’t put in much effort, so really it was more like…Piper didn’t raise herself to be no bitch. But that was too complicated, so she stuck with the original phrase.)

Actually telling Jason how she felt was a little more challenging with Leo hanging about—yeah, he lived there, but that was hardly an excuse—so before she knew it they were going to bed and she was lying awake, and then sneaking past a sleeping Jason to sit out on the fire escape, bundled in a hoodie and a blanket.

It was freezing, but the cold air helped her think, so she didn’t mind it too much. It was still pretty early for her, only a quarter past midnight, but the stars blinking down at her made it feel later than it was. A car honked in the distance. Someone in another building was blasting music.

“Jeez, Pipes, it’s freezing out here.”

And then Jason was sitting next to her, and it didn’t feel quite as cold as it had before.

She unwrapped one side of the blanket and held it open for him, letting him scoot closer and wrap the blanket around himself.

“It’s a good system,” she said, looking back up at the stars. “We can share a blanket and body heat.”

She hoped he couldn’t feel her heart pounding.

They sat in silence for what felt like hours, just drinking in each other’s presence and watching their breath turn to steam in the air, curling and entwining before vanishing into the night. Finally, it was Jason who broke the spell.

“Piper?”

Just her name, but it was enough to knock the wind out of her. “Yeah?”

“How drunk were you last night?”

She kept her eyes on the sky above them. “Not drunk enough to say anything I didn’t mean.”

He was silent then, but she could feel his eyes on the side of her face, watching her. She wondered what he saw.

“Piper?” he asked again.

“Yeah?”

“I came up with a resolution.”

She turned to look at him, and suddenly his lips were pressed to hers and the blanket was sliding down because his hands were on her waist, hot even through her hoodie, pulling her closer and closer and closer and somehow it still wasn’t enough, so Piper pressed back, one hand bunched in his shirt and the other finding his cheek. She needed air so desperately but she couldn’t pull back, not when his tongue was sliding against hers and she finally felt like she could breathe, and her hand slid up to wrap his hair around her fingers like she’d always wanted to.

She was practically in his lap now, nipping at the little scar on his lip, and she still didn’t know where he’d gotten it but she didn’t really care at the moment. His hands slid up, one around her back to hold her against his front and the other to her hair where it tugged on her braid, making her moan into his mouth. He must’ve liked that because he kissed her harder and his tongue dipped deeper and Piper had just about lost all presence of mind when she suddenly put her hands on his chest and shoved herself back.

She stared at him, panting, and he stared at her right back with his cheeks flushed gorgeously and his eyes wide. He opened his mouth and she knew he was about to apologize, he was going to think she stopped him because she didn’t want him to kiss her, and of course that couldn’t be farther from the truth, so—

“Jason Grace, how dare you have the audacity to kiss me,” she took a brief pause to catch her breath, not long enough for him to start to apologize but enough to scare him a little (she couldn’t resist messing with him just a tiny bit when he looked so adorably shocked), “when you knew it was my resolution to go after what I want, which is obviously you!”

Jason’s mouth opened and closed several times, but no sound came out. He blinked and frowned, and, “Um…what?”

“I was going to make the first move,” she sniffed. “I’d made a resolution and worked up the balls and even had a speech prepared. And backup speeches for different scenarios! I can’t believe you just ruined all those plans.”

Jason blinked several times, but a shadow of a smile had appeared on his face. “I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

“I basically told you last night.”

“I didn’t realize you were preparing speeches, though. I figured I’d save you the trouble with a resolution of my own.”

“You stole my resolution, too. Who’s committing plagiarism now?”

“Not true. Your resolution was to go after what you want. Mine was much simpler.”

“Oh yeah?” she challenged, picking up the fallen blanket to ward off the chill seeping back through her clothes. “What was it?”

“‘Kiss Piper.’”

She brushed back a piece of hair that had come loose from her braid—probably when Jason’s hand had tangled in it and pulled, she realized, the memory causing heat to pool low in her belly—to cover her smile. “Well that’s just…boring. Where’s the pizzazz?”

When she turned to look at him again, his face was much closer than it had been, his warm breath ghosting over her lips in a way that made them tingle deliciously. “I thought there was plenty of pizzazz. You need a refresher?” he teased.

Piper sucked in a breath. She had been far less prepared for confident, sexy, teasing, ready-to-kiss-her-stupid Jason than she’d thought, and it might just kill her. Trying to regain some control of the situation, she raised an eyebrow and said, “It still doesn’t make up for all the work I put in. Now I’ll never get to fulfill my New Year’s Resolution. I’m a failure.”

“Would it make you feel better to give me one of the speeches you prepared?”

“No, I don’t have one for this scenario.”

“You prepared for multiple scenarios but none of them included me kissing you?”

“I thought it would be at least another month before you made a move on me, Sparky, so no.”

“That stings.”

Piper laughed and nuzzled her nose against his, her eyes fluttering shut for a moment. “Can you blame me?”

“No,” he sighed, “I’m still pretty amazed I got it together long enough to kiss you. I’m sorry you didn’t get to give your speeches, though. You sure you can’t tell me one anyway?”

“I’m afraid that’s impossible, you’ll never know what I was going to say.”

Jason laughed. “You are a cruel woman, Piper McLean.”

She just shrugged, a smirk spreading across her face. “That’s what you get for stealing my moment.”

“How about I make it up to you?” His eyes were dark now, his nose brushing along hers and his voice deep. Piper shivered, and it wasn’t from the January air.

“I think we can work something out,” she whispered, and their mouths met in the middle as they reached for each other.

—

The first game of the season, Jason was third up to bat, and he was nervous as hell.

It was normal, especially for him. His nerves would decrease as the game went on, but that didn’t stop the shaking of his hands as he stepped up to the plate and took a couple warm up swings.

The first pitch veered to the left, just out of the strike zone.

The second was a fastball, and he was half a second too late.

He adjusted the straps on his gloves and tried to steady his breathing. This is normal, he told himself. You just need to pull it together and get your head in the game.

Great. Now I’m quoting High School Musical.

This, naturally, got I Don’t Dance stuck in his head, which wouldn’t even be an issue if Piper hadn’t made him watch the movies last week and sung that song at him constantly. (Not that he really minded; Piper’s singing voice was one of his favorite things in the world to listen to, even when accompanied by cheesy choreography.)

He glanced at the stands to his left, where he knew she was sitting with Annabeth, Grover, Hazel, and Percy’s family. He found her quickly, and she waved. His heart rate slowed, and the haze in his brain seemed to clear as he stepped back to the plate.

It probably wasn’t great to rely on her to keep him relaxed at bat. If they broke up, or fought, or even if she just missed seeing him play, he couldn’t afford to be off his game. He’d never had an issue working through his nerves before; he was sure he could do it without her, but it was so much easier to take one look at her and feel himself relax.

When he hit the ball way out to left field and made it to first with plenty of time to spare, he figured he didn’t mind relying on Piper so much. Watching her jump up and down, cheering in the stands, he got the feeling she wasn’t going anywhere.

#here it is #finally #jasiper #baseball au #otp: if i fall you're catching me #jason grace #piper mclean #fanfic #my writing #pjo #hoo

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studiobeebo · 6 years

Text

Midterm Blues (College! Izuku Midoriya x Reader)

This is based off a thing from a college prompt list i found and then lost (pls if someone knows what im talking about send it to me). It’s fluffy and lame but hope you guys enjoy it!

This couldn’t be happening. The honestly, truly, could not be happening to him. Izuku had been working so damn hard on that gosh darn eight page research report in the past few hours, but in his physically and mentally drained stupor, he had ignored the little flashing notification letting him know his laptop was almost out of battery and before her knew it, his laptop had flickered off only to leave him staring at his own shocked face reflected in the now blank screen. For a second, he stared at his laptop that was resting atop his crossed legs in shock before letting out a loud yelp and pushing his laptop off of him and onto the library floor as gently as he could before scrambling to dig his charger out of his backpack. Unfortunately though, he was too late, and when his laptop had finally booted back up and he hastily re-opened the document page he was writing on, everything was gone.

So there he was, sitting on the floor of the main campus’s library with hot tears beginning to stream down his flushed cheeks while he frantically scrolled through his saved files to see if there was any remnants of all the work he had done, only to find nothing. His sniffles filled the secluded corner of the library he had settled into what felt like days ago, and while he had originally picked that spot because there was really never any other students around, this time he had been sadly mistaken.

You didn’t plan on going to the library that night, but when a friend of yours had texted you and asked you a question about your midterm paper for your English Composition class, you realized that it was, in fact, due tomorrow and you barely had a title page put together. Once you got to the library and got yourself settled though, you realized upon reading through the rubric for the paper that two of your references had to be from books, so you had to go off to search for some that would match your topic. It was during this search that you thought you heard someone crying and with your curiosity and will to procrastinate getting the best of you, you followed that noise until you found the source. A curly mop of green hair was what had first caught your attention and you had to let out an awkward “Oh..” upon realizing you recognized who that was. It wasn’t until the young man turned to look at whoever had stumbled upon him with puffy, red eyes still filled to the brim with tears, that you realized how stupid it was to be surprised that you found someone crying when that was sort of what you had been looking for.

“Oh, sorry..” You muttered out when you saw him anxiously begin to wipe away at the tears that were drenching his face. Poor thing..Obviously something bad had happened and here you were barging in on his..crying.

“You’re uh...Midoriya, right?” You asked softly, figuring the least you could do was try to help out somehow. Besides it would be kind of rude to just walk up, see someone you know crying, and the turn right back around and walk off.

“Ah sorry, maybe you don’t remember me? We had chem together last semester, and a few other classes too I think.” You continued on, scratching the back of your head awkwardly as your eyes looked upward while you tried to recount where you had known him from. You never really got the chance to talk to him much, but he always seemed like such a sweet and radiant person that you always wanted to try, you just never really got the chance.

He, on the other hand, didn’t need any help remembering you. With how much he had daydreamed about you before, you’d think that you were just some sort of figment of his imagination. Izuku technically couldn’t say he had a crush on you since he’d hardly ever even been able to stutter out a hello to you when you two had shared classes, but he definitely had something for you. He never even knew what it was, maybe it was just him thinking you were cute or maybe he had learned enough about you from awkwardly frequent glances and a lot of ‘accidental’ staring, but every time he saw you it was like you put some sort of spell on him. He wanted so badly to get to know you, hell, he’d give anything just to talk to you, but he could never bring himself to do so no matter how many times his friends encouraged him to.

That being said, the fact that the very first time he’d have the chance to talk to you was when he was crying his eyes out was pretty sad. He thought he had somewhat gotten better with holding in his emotions and not crying so much or being nervous all the time now that he was technically an adult, but of course you of all people had to find him during one of his weaker moments.

“N-No, I remember you..And yeah, that’s me..” He stuttered out, his voice wavering while he continued to rub at his eyes. God, couldn’t he get a break!? It was like the faucet in his eyes had gotten stuck at the worst of times and even the gift of your presence couldn’t fix it.

You didn’t find his current appearance as terrible as he did, though. Midterms could be hell and you had spent plenty of times yourself crying from stress or confusion over a project.

“So-Sorry, I’m...I lost a whole paper.” He whimpered out an explanation while jabbing a shaky thumb in the direction of his laptop.

Your features softened and you laughed softly, though it was at familiarity with the common situation and not at his crying.

“Ahh, man, that does suck! I’ve got something I’m working on too.” You spoke up with a bit more enthusiasm, trying your best to make the situation a bit more lighthearted. “Mind if I sit with you for a bit?” You continued on, taking a few steps closer to him. “Ah but if I’m being too pushy, just tell me to piss off.”

Izuku’s eyes widened at your last statement. You were actually asking if you could sit with him, he’d be absolutely insane to ask you to leave, even if it would save him from embarrassment. He shook his head and moved over a bit until his back was up against the wall so there was space for you to sit.

“You can sit! I mean, It’s not- you’re not being pushy.” He responded with a bit of hesitation in his voice.

The smile that lit up on your face was, however, was way more than enough to make his heart start racing and when you seated yourself down less than a foot away from him, he thought he might just start crying because of his unbelievable combination of bad and good luck.

For a moment, the two of you sat in a strange yet comfortable silence, Izuku doing everything he could to avert his eyes from your own and you just scanning the rows upon rows of books. You weren’t excellent at helping out people who were upset, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

“Sorry to hear about your paper Midoriya. When is it due?”

“..Tomorrow.” He sighed out, his little moment of bliss being interrupted by thoughts of his now nonexistent paper. His brain was absolutely fried and there was no way in hell he could redo the whole thing tonight. The best he could do would be to finish it over the weekend and take the bad grade…

“Why don’t you email your professor?” You asked, turning your head to look at him while you pulled your knees to your chest. When he finally looked up towards you with confusion in his eyes, you had to force yourself not to smile. He looked weirdly cute with tears in his eyes, maybe it’s because it made him seem so innocent, but either way you’d sound totally weird if you said that so you decided to keep it to yourself before furthering your explanation.

“Well I mean, from what I remember you’re a pretty hardworking guy. I’m sure your professor knows this, so maybe if you send an email explaining what happened, they’ll give you some extra time!”

In his exasperated and panicky state, he hadn’t even thought of doing that. He never thought of himself as a ��hardworking guy’, but he still had a lot of doubts about different aspects of his personality so maybe that’s why.

“That’s a..good idea. I’ll have to do that.” He nodded, and for the first time since he lost his work, he cracked a bit of a smile. This made your own lips turn up into a satisfied grin. You had sort of been afraid you wouldn’t be able to do much to help him, but at least you had one good suggestion! Popping up from your seat, you stretched your arms up above your head before turning back to look at him again.

“Tell ya what, why don’t you do that and I’ll go get all my stuff and I’ll come work by you! Well, If you’re okay for staying a bit, I guess you probably want to go get some decent sleep..” You said, your words beginning with an excited tone and ending with a doubtful one. The guy was still crying a bit and you were asking him to sit and watch you work on your project. To him though, that was an incredible request. He thought you asking to sit with him was a miracle, but you asking him to sit with you? It was a dream come true.

“That would be nice! And I’d probably just worry myself too much to get any sleep right now anyways.” He replied, the smile on his face widening as his crying slowly halted to a stop.

Upon hearing his agreement, you gave him a thumbs up before turning on your heel and heading back over to the desk where you had left your bag and laptop. Instead of going right back to him though, you made a quick trip to the front lobby of the library to grab two sodas for the two of you to drink from one of the vending machines. When you finally made it back to him, you were happy to see that he had the remnants of a smile on his face despite his red eyes and cheeks. He had turned out to be as kind as you always thought him to be and you could only hope that he was as interested in gaining a new friend as you were.

Plopping down a few feet in front of him so you could talk face to face, you placed the soda you had gotten him on the floor in front of him before beginning to set up all your things.

“Figured you could use a pick-me-up. And no, you aren’t going to pay me back for it.”

The look on his face said that you had just stollen the words right from his thoughts and he was glad that he had only just stopped crying, otherwise he wouldn’t have much of an explanation for how hot his cheeks had gotten. Part of him wished he hadn’t waited so long to talk to you, even though technically you were the one who started the conversation, but at the same time he was happy that the two of you could officially meet in such a way.

With a flick of your fingers, you popped open the cap to your own drink before moving on to pop his open for him. After a moment, you held the drink up in front of you before your eyes met his own and you were blessed with that sparkling smile of his that you happily returned.

“Cheers to getting through our papers...And to new friends?” You asked, your brow raising to signify that you weren’t sure if that last bit was weird or okay to ask.

Luckily for you, he had never been happier to hear those words. With a grin still on his face, he raised his drink up with one hand and gave a confident thumbs up with the other, the positive idea of being friends with you making his night look a bit more promising.

“Yeah, to getting through papers, and making new friends!”

#mha #my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha imagine #bnha imagine #izuku midoriya #izuku midoriya x reader

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brooks-schreave · 6 years

Text

Brooks: Ficlet 2 Part 2

Sorry I was so busy I didn't get to post this a while ago! Thanks @fleur-quinn for the rp :) it was fun ❤️ Sorry for typos! (2200)

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I'd been doing some research for the past few hours and the frustration was starting to get to me. I was fed up with being unsure about my theory and terrified if it proved correct. It was an impossible situation.

I leaned back in my swivel chair and spun around. “What to do, what to do,” I muttered to myself. I could try and read something, I thought. Damn, Bertram would probably chastise me for being ‘antisocial’. I guess I could hang out with Max or Mal for a bit. Sounded well enough. And even if I couldn't find them, I could just walk for a bit.

I stepped out of my room and into the hall and down the stairs. Mal would probably be in the makeup parlor next to the dance studio. I headed towards that direction, nodding towards guards and avoiding eye contact with maids.

I looked up briefly and saw a flash of red hair. Oh, Fleur, I immediately guessed. She wasn't hard to miss. She was walking aimlessly with her headphones on, seemingly unaware of anything around her.

I tried to get her attention to no avail. Finally, I waved a hand in front of her. She looked up in alarm, quickly pulled out her earphones and to ran her fingers through her hair. I assumed she was trying fix it up a bit. It was a bit messy, but not in a bad way. It suited her. “Oh hey Brooks! Sorry, didn’t see you there!”

I shrugged and smiled. “I get that a lot. What are you doing?”

“Oh, uh, I was just dancing in the studio, and thought I’d get something to eat and drink before heading back!” She held up glass of water. “Took your advice and got a glass of water, not a bottle.”

It was actually quite nice to hear that she remembered something so minuscule that I had said. “I'm so pleased. The life of a true lady,” I laughed at my own joke. I'm actually hilarious. “You dance?”

“Of course, the flower queen gotta act lady-like, yeah?” Yes, because ladies say ‘gotta’. “And Yeah, I dance! I love it!”

“Are you any good?” Of course she was, but I figured I'd inquire more on the topic. Fleur seemed to be quite talented. It was almost insane. She was exceptional in the arts and academics. She was a bit intimidating.

“Well... I don’t know,” she bit her lip, nervously. “Do you... do you wanna watch? I mean you can be the judge.”

I felt my ears tinge pink. If she felt nervous, I felt like I should too, as if there was something I wasn't understanding. “You wouldn't mind?”

“Nah, not at all... Piglet.” The redhead giggled reached up to tap my ear.

I felt my face heat up even more with embarrassment. “Just show me the dance.”

She laughed. “C’mon then.” Fleur grabbed my shirt sleeve and pulled me along towards the studio. “Well, uh, have a seat!” She set down her glass of water. “This is a very nice studio you guys have here, by the way.”

I nodded, assuming she was right. This may come as a shock, but I'm not exactly artistically inclined in my opinion. “I'm pretty sure I've been in here, like, twice.”

“What a coincidence! This is also my second time here!” I grinned at her response. I enjoyed her easy going humor.

“So, do you have some sort of routine or are you just going to wing it,” I asked as she picked her music.

“Uh, I can do both actually.” Damn. “But today I’ll do a choreographed dance.”

“Let's see it.” I walked over to the corner of the studio and sat criss-cross-applesauce, my long legs proving it more difficult than necessary.

Fleur nodded as she found the song and started to dance. I actually didn't watch a lot of dance. It was hard to take interest in something you were so unforgivably atrocious at. But, she… She was wickedly talented. I wondered if it was something natural or she genuinely had to work hard at.

There were things extremely noticeable about Fleur that I usually prided myself on never recognizing on anyone else. She was beautiful, there was no getting around that, but she seemed to hold herself in a different way every time you saw her. She was either strutting around with the confidence of a lioness or dragging her feet as if she was lost in some perilous thoughts her mind had conjured up in an act of betrayal.

With one final movement, she finished the routine and looked at me expectedly.

“Wow... T-that was... That looked like something I'd be very bad at doing,” I joked. I'd probably break something.

She blushed and giggled. I could her the nerves in her wavering voice. “It’s not that hard, really... You know ballroom dancing, don’t you?” You're joking, right?

I nodded. “Sure.” Lie, such a lie.

“Yeah! Then it won’t be hard to pick up this sort of dancing!”

I have her a flat look. That definitely wasn't ballroom dancing. “I have a feeling I can't drop to the floor like that.” Which she did.

Fleur laughed. “Well maybe that will take some practice. But the others are easier- you should pick up a few moves,” she said, eyes bright with amusement. “Then you’ll be a homeless dancer! And maybe they’ll finally let you sleep in the palace because of your awesome,” she did a random dance move that consisted of mostly flailing arms, “dance moves!”

“I hope to dance exactly the way you just did. Just that one move. Nothing else”

She repeated the move once again in slow motion. I did my best to mimic her without even moving my arms, trying to make her smile. “Nailed it.”

She blinked her eyes in surprise. “But your hands-” She cut herself off by covering her face and laughing loudly.

I joined in. “What?” I reached out and pulled her hands away from her face. “I thought I did really well that time.”

She peeked at me through her tear-stained lashes, trying not to laugh. “It’s just that when I meant relaxing your arms, I meant,” she paused suddenly, “Are you ticklish?”

Well this took a terrible turn. My smile dropped as I stepped back. “No.”

She grinned mischievously. “Something tells me you’re lying!” The redhead stepped forward to tickle me. Why was she so fast?!

I let out a weird giggle scream and jumped back quickly. Fleur did a war cry and ran after me.

Alright, Brooks, time to actually use your one shred of athletic ability. I ran out of room quickly, my height propelling me forward at a decent speed. My dad actually used to make me do a lot of track growing up, claiming that if I stayed inside to read all day, I'd regret it. He decided it was best for me to get some physical activity. I wasn't half bad, but I hated running and I was exceptionally clumsy. Winning a race just loses its effect when you trip right after crossing the finish line.

“Hey! No fair,” she exclaimed and sped up. The distraction caused me to trip and fall straight forward onto the marble floor. I groaned.

Fleur gasped and walked towards me, quickly. She looked at me with concern. “Brooks! Are you alright?”

I sat up and leaned back on my arms, no amusement on my face. “This is why tickling should be outlawed.” And why the idea that tickling was cute to be abolished. I had strong feelings about this.

She sat down next to him with a small smile. “I’m, uh, sorry… I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I could have died, Miss Quinn. All because your positively vicious antics.”

She hung her head. I hoped she didn't actually think I was upset. “I’m sorry... to be fair, you could’ve just let me tickle you.” Uh huh. ”Anyways, I’ll let you tickle me as a revenge?”

I almost slapped myself at how I immediately processed her words as some innuendo. I'd been around Max too much recently. “I'm far too much of a gentleman for that,” I smiled politely.

“Says the boy who ran like a madman just now,” she chuckled. “Your weird giggle scream…”

“'Says the man.' I'm a man.” Real convincing, kiddo.

“Whatever you say, my Prince,” she replied in da singsong voice.

“Your prince, huh? Wrong one, Fleur,” I teased. I knew what she meant but it almost gave me pride to see her flustered. She seemed untouchable at times.

Her eyes widened as she blushed and stuttered. “I- isn’t that what people-,” she suddenly realized I was teasing. “Maybe not the wrong one,” she said quietly.

I cocked my head to the side slightly at her words. Suddenly, I felt like I wasn't supposed to be there. But it wasn't as if there was anything wrong going on. “I am no one's and neither are you,” I stood up and offered her a hand. “People don't belong to each other,” I smiled in a way which can only be described as my signature expression. It may have seemed random, but this was something I actually had a strong view on. It's what bothered me about the selection at times- that there was an assumption of ownership over human beings.

She took my hand and sighed. “Right,” she replied lamely. “But isn’t that what people call the royals, ‘My Queen, My king, My prince, My lady’...”

I could tell she felt uncomfortable. “A technicality that I would abolish if I were king,” I flashed a posh smirk.

“Well, you can still always suggest that to your brother!”

“Mmhm, it's on the list.”

“Oh and by the way, I got an A for that assignment last time!” Fleur did a quick happy dance.

“Congratulations,” I grinned wholeheartedly. “What was it on?”

“Uh…, she thought about it, “uh... oh! Rule of Law!

“You hesitated. By Illea, Fleur... A-are you lying,” I gasped dramatically.

She rolled her eyes. “I was not! I simply forgot the topic! Once I finished an assignment, I would not think about it again. Don’t wanna live through the nightmare again.”

I shook my head. “Naw, I don't buy it. Spit it out, what was the paper really on?”

“The rule of law!” She stomped feet in frustration. “Comparison between the rule of law in Illéa and America. I can prove it to you! Humph!” Fleur crossed her arms in defiance. I raised an eyebrow at her actions.

“It was probably about statistics on cows. Remember, Miss Quinn, a future queen mustn't lie.”

“I was NOT lying,” she groaned. Fleur whipped out her phone and found the document. “See? and I don’t do statistics on cows!”

“Well you should. I would read it ALL.”

“Why would I write about statistics on cows,” she threw her hands in the air. “Maybe /you/,” she jabbed her finger into my chest, “should do it. And I won’t read it!” Damn, she's really into this.

“No point then.”

“Did Brooks Schreave just say that he will only do a research if Fleur Quinn reads it? Ha!” Her eyes danced with amusement.

“Poor girl, you confuse my meaning.” I smiled smugly. “What I'm saying is that I have no want to write about cow statistics, but I would do it to spite you. But if you weren't going to read it anyway, there's no point.”

“First, I’m not ‘poor’.” Darling, I'm well aware. I've done the research. “Second, stop smiling like that,” she looked at me with disgust. Ouch. “Third, you’re /still/ saying you’ll only do a research if I’m reading it! I never specified what research!” She winked dramatically. “But don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret. I won’t tell anybody about it,” she finished with a solemn nod.

I wiped imaginary sweat off my forehead. “Wow, that's a real weight off my shoulders. How could I ever repay you?”

“You can’t! But you can walk me back to the studio because I’m really thirsty after all the exercise.”

“Seems simple enough,” I shrugged, “and I am, at heart, a simple man.”

We began to walk. “Yup, I could totally see that with all the, what’s that?” She gestured to my attire. “Sweater and tie! A very casual and simple attire indeed.” I almost clutched my stomach self consciously. What's wrong with my clothes?

“I'm a very suave hobo, as you can see.” She laughed.

We arrived to the studio and she grabbed her water. “Water has never tasted better! “Thanks for walking me back,” she beamed. “Oh no! Dinner’s an hour away! I have to get changed!”

“And I have to…” I thought of something, “wait an hour for dinner.” Smooth. “See you then,” I smiled and waved.

She returned the action. “See ya! Don’t starve!”

I held in a laugh. “I'll try not to,” I called back.

Huh, that wasn't too bad of a distraction. Fleur had a kind heart that was both endearing and refreshing. I rubbed the side of my face that had been so severely hit earlier that day. Very refreshing.

#brooks ficlet 2 #brooks ficlet 2 pt 2

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years

Text

Survey #107

“i love everything you do, when you call me fuckin’ dumb for the stupid shit i do.”

The beach or the pool? The pool. Cleaner, less risk, no sand. Do you have many internet friends? Most of my friends are online. Do you think those friendships are on level with your real life ones? Shit, I'm closer to some online friends more than I am "real" ones. Did you name all of your dolls and stuffed animals? I think I might've... I know I named the ones I really loved. Is your middle name plain? Pretty sure it's one of the most common middle names. Do you like Resident Evil games? RE4 is in my top 10 fave games. I've played some of the original RE, but I didn't like it. Controls were awful and I didn't find the story all that interesting. I played like the first 30 minutes of RE6 with Jason, but for some reason we never finished it? I'd love to play more, even though I've heard it was terrible. Def wanna play the 7th too bc Leon is love. Eeeeven though I heard that one was awful, too. What would you say is your WORST phobia? I actually recently found out what pisanthrophobia (fear of trusting people due to negative, past relationships) is, and it is 100% that. Do you wish your last name was more interesting? Sure, I don't like my last name. If you wrote a novel, would you give the characters ordinary names? Some would be, some wouldn't be. What’s your favorite leaf color? Orange. Have you ever had a close friend get knocked up early? I don't know why the term "knocked up" is annoying to me, but whatever. Anyway, no. Have you yourself ever gotten close to getting pregnant? No. If you were to get pregnant as a teen, what would happen? Have the baby and give it up for adoption. Do you have any pictures of you kissing someone? A few exist, but I no longer have any. Are you afraid of needles? No. I mean the idea of getting a deep shot is unpleasant, but I'm not afraid of them. Do you find piercing attractive or unattractive? It really depends on the piercing and the person, but usually attractive. What's your most popular post? I actually made a gif of Chica and Mark almost two months ago (this isn't my main blog obvs.) that took way too long and Mark actually reblogged it (he controls his own social media) and???? A whale-like sob escaped from the very core of my soul????? And I couldn't sleep for two days?????? Manga or anime? Anime, I don't read. I've never read manga, actually. A card game that you're good at? None. Favorite flavors of ice cream? My favorite is vanilla with chocolate syrup, but I also like plain chocolate or moose tracks. Have you ever overcome a disease that was life-threatening and, if so, which one? No. Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person? Yes, but thankfully nothing embarrassing. I've come close, though. Do you like Subway? Yes, but I always get the same thing there. Would you rather lose your best friend or your boyfriend? *girlfriend, but I'd rather lose my other best friend. Have you ever dated someone in secret? My relationship now is secret to most people in my face-to-face life. I mean I wouldn't lie if I was asked, but I'm not going to tell most people otherwise for a few reasons. Do you ever send people good morning texts? Sara, sometimes. Do you kiss your pets? I kiss Teddy. I would happily kiss Venus is it wasn't for salmonella. Would your parents approve of you dating someone of a different race? Yes. How old is the oldest person you know? Hm... I'm not sure. Maybe this woman my mom used to watch; I met her once, and she was such a sweetie. I think she was almost 90. Have you ever had to put your hand over someone’s mouth to keep them quiet? Yes. Do you have an accent? People tell me I don't really have one, even people from outside the state, but with some words, people can tell I'm from the south. Do you own any figurines? Of what? I have one of a small dragon. How long does it usually take you to get to sleep? Now that I take Melatonin, like, 15-20 minutes I'd guess. What was the last picture you took with your phone? My dog because he was being precious. Do you have trouble waking up in the morning? What gets you up and awake? I tend to lie there for a while, so kinda? And I just get up once I'm not incredibly drowsy. What is one thing you and your best friend have in common physically? With Colleen, we both have blue eyes, with Sara, we both have brown hair. Now based on your interests, what is one thing you both have in common? Sara, we both love reptiles, with Colleen... Jesus, like nothing. Where do your grandparents live? Florida (but she stays in New York a lot) and Michigan. When is the last time you went out to dinner with a friend? Where did you go? Who paid? Earlier this month with Dad. We went to a Mexican restaurant whose name I can't remember. Aaaand I hate Mexican food. Do you get excited when you learn you have to dress up? Not really. Too much work. What’s your ideal first date? Don't have one. Plenty of things can be fun with different people with different interests. If you type for awhile, do your fingers start to hurt? Boi step yo game up that's some amateur shit *doesn't mention how I have carpal tunnel so my wrist disagrees* Chinese or Mexican food? Hate Mexican food and don't like much Chinese, but Chinese. Are you the type of person who would study for a test for hours? No. I'm not willing to invest THAT much time into studying. Do you hate when you’re in a good mood and one person ruins your mood? Ha, yeah. People can do that easily for me. What’s worse: Rude people, two faced people or fake people? Rude or two-faced. Does your house have a doorbell? Shit, does it? o_o I don't think so... Do you know someone who has dropped out of high school? A few. Has your Facebook ever been hacked? I don't think so. Twitter, Tumblr or Facebook? I love Tumblr so much help I didn't want this. Do you have any quotes on your bedroom walls? The serenity prayer, yes. Do you wear earrings? Ugh no because all of mine are silver, which I'm allergic to. I want to get gold or surgical steel ones so I can actually wear them, I like earrings. Is your WiFi protected? Yes. Does your phone have a cover on it? No, but I'd like one. Would you ever lie about your past? Already am about some things to people in my "real" life. Some say that high school is the best time of your life. Was that true for you? It was in some ways, others not. Is it good to have pride in your own race or does that separate people from each other because it makes them think of everyone else as ‘outsiders’? It's perfectly fine to feel proud of your race as long as you don't look down on others. What’s the bravest or most daring thing you have ever done? Shit, probably speak my mind to my mom since she's scary as fuck when I disagree with her. Who owes you an apology? A number of people. Who deserves an apology from you? My dad deserves another, for one. Is a prenuptial agreement necessary or does it take the romance and trust out of marriage? Fucking destroys trust, imo. Know of any conspiracy theories you think might be credible? Not off the top of my head. I do find the theory of the moon landing being fake very interesting and there is some compelling evidence, but I still believe it was real. It's my fave theory, though. How do you go about losing weight? I don't eat nearly enough most days. What is the worst mistake you’ve ever made? Overdosing. I mean it led to my recovery, but I could've achieved that in a different way. Are you patriotic? Not especially, but I don't hate America either. When you ask people how they are doing you actually care about their answer or is it just polite? Yes, I care. Would you consider yourself to be very polite? In most ways, yes. Which group generally annoys you more, people older than you, or people younger than you? Younger. What do you think of crop circles? They're interesting, but I don't blame them on aliens. Have you ever written graffiti on anything? Nope. Should birth control be taught in high school? How about in jr. high or elementary school? Around 4th/5th grade. Some kids start having sex early, and it's about this time where a girl can get pregnant. Do you use bad grammar or hate bad grammar? I only ever use it sarcastically or comedically. Last time you fed your pets? My mom always feeds all the dogs simultaneously, and Venus hasn't wanted to eat since I got her. If she doesn't eat by mid-November, then I'll be concerned (already kinda am). Do you know/ have you met your significant other’s ex? I know Sara's online but obviously never "met" him. What do you think about censorship in music? I honestly think both versions should exist. Some people don't like profanity and I don't believe children should hear it. Do you have any of your teachers on MySpace/Facebook? I have a few. Have you seen your family tree? Someone made one, but I've never seen it. What are you most likely to do first in the morning; grab a cup of coffee, have a cigarette, or use the bathroom? Use the bathroom. I don't smoke and I hate coffee. What are you most likely to do when you are upset; talk to somebody you’re close to, cry yourself to sleep, or bottle it up inside? I've finally learned how to talk to someone. What are you most likely to do if you get drunk; pick fights, hook up with people, or socialize with anybody & everybody? Never been drunk, but apparently I'm seriously giggly and social when I'm tipsy. What are you most likely to pick if you got to choose your topic on a research paper; drug abuse, mental illness, or the death penalty? Oh, I can write a damn novel on mental illness. What are you most likely to do if there are no good surveys floating around at the time; make some new surveys for yourself & everyone else to take, bitch & complain about how there are no good surveys then take a survey you don’t even feel like taking, or go find something else to do besides taking surveys? Oh hun. I get surveys from about a billion sources so I will never run out. *cackles* Do you hold grudges or forgive easily? If someone is truly sorry, I forgive easily. In a relationship, how important are looks? I don't care. I care about your personality. Sure, it's nice to be attracted physically to your s/o, but it's not a determining factor on whether I date you or not. Do you have to know someone for a while before you will date them? I mean I won't date someone too quickly, no, but we don't have to have known each other for months or anything. Jason and I started dating I don't even think two weeks after meeting, and we had a great relationship for almost four years 'til the end. What do you consider the greatest threat to mankind? Hm, deep question... probably lack of compassion. Describe your music taste in one word: Consistent. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, where would you go to hide? Ideally a brick building or something likewise. Who’s your favorite character on That '70s Show? AHHHHH I LOVE THAT SHOW!! Probably Hyde. Maybe Kitty. But I love them all omg <3 All the characters are SO memorable. Do you fangirl/fanboy over anyone? hahahahahahahhHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Have you ever said 'I love you’ and didn’t mean it? I've said it back to Mom when I feel that I didn't, though I know I did. Use one word to describe your last kiss. Awkward. How much is gas where you live? Two-something. Mid twos. What has caused you to reinvent yourself or reevaluate who you are? Absolutely Holly Hill. It saved my life. I looked at my situation in a totally different light. Short, knee, or ankle skirts? I tend to aesthetically like those that are a little above the knee. What couldn’t you live your life without? My mom. I don't think I'd survive. She's the one who makes sure I keep myself on the right path. Would you be on that who wants to marry a millionaire show as a contestant? 1.) Why the fuck would I marry someone just for money and 2.) why the fuck would I want to go into a relationship with someone I just met. Is it easier to live when you’re evil? Sure, no remorse. <<< Yeah. Have you ever given blood? Once. Are you a miracle? I consider every single life a miracle; it's the source of one tattoo I have. This world being created and adapted as it has is miraculous enough, and then the odds of you exactly being conceived is SO fucking rare. Can musicians be held responsible for influencing people to behave badly? No. People make their own choices, lyrics don't change that. What annoys you the most about yourself? I immediately assume the worst end result of any situation. Is it better for people to change and evolve their ideas or always be consistent? It depends on the belief. Do you want a girl or a boy as your first born? I don't want kids, but if I did, definitely a girl. Do you have any embarrassing usernames? Eh, don't like some anymore, but no. Have you ever scratched yourself until your skin was raw? I have six long scars on my left shin (one being the worst scar on my body) and four more mild ones on my right front scratching the fuck out of them after I shave and then shower. I don't know why the fuck it happens, but it's awful. Even lotion doesn't really help. What is the longest essay or research paper you have written? Ten or so pages. Do you worry about being judged by other people? I shouldn't be but I'm heavily concerned with it. If someone doesn’t like you, do you usually want to know the reason? Duh. I want to know if it's petty or something I can improve on. Can you do a flip on a trampoline? I used to do front flips, but I was too scared to do back flips because I had this intense fear of breaking my neck or something. Stopped entirely because of that fear. Does your doctor freak you out? She doesn't freak me out, she's just unfriendly. Does it annoy you when people’s eyebrows are a different color than hair? Don't care. Has your grandma ever cussed in front of you before? More like at me. But in front of me, too, once or twice. What primary color is your Christmas tree? Green. I want a black one, man, but since it's a family thing, it's obviously not just up to me. What’s the best camera brand? I think it's technically Canon. Where do you go fishing at? Dad and I haven't gone in forever, but it was pretty much always somewhere on the Tar River or Sapony Creek. How old were your parents when you were born? Uhhh I don't have my parents' ages memorized, but Mom was around 35 and Dad's one year younger than her. Is there one song that you know all the lyrics to? A decent number, yeah. Has a cat/dog ever thrown up on your bed? Omg no I'd never sleep on that bed again pretty much. Have you ever had a concussion? Ugh, yes. Can't even explain how bad it was. Have you seen the movie "The Dark Knight?" You can't date the world's biggest Joker fan and not at some point. Do you know anyone who has a pet gecko? Summer has a leopard gecko and he's super-duper cute. Is there an animal that you’re afraid of? Maggots and slugs are the worst, whale sharks, some spiders and bugs. Kissed someone who was a really bad kisser? Tbh. Gotten in trouble for public displays of affection? OKAY SO. Jason and I used to ride the bus home together and one day I was falling asleep in his lap, and he was too. Our friends were joking around and yelled something along the lines of us being too affectionate, so the bus driver came back to see what was up, and she looked so confused when she saw we were just trying to sleep lmao. But she still told us to just sit next to each other. Looking back on it, it was funny. Do you get bad hangovers? Never had one. Have you ever sent a friend request to someone who you thought was someone different? No but true shit the only reason I accepted Jason's friend request was because I thought he was a different Jason lmao. Have you ever chatted with someone on webcam? No because it's awkward as fuck. Wait. I did once with Jason. Never again. Jeez, three questions I've mentioned him in the last four ones. Ew. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s cube? I ain't got the patience for that shit. Are you embarrassed/uncomfortable dancing in front of other people? YUP. One reason why I don't. Do you ever drink directly from beverage containers because you don’t want to dirty a cup? No, because I don't want other people drinking my backwash?? This is such a backwards question. If you carry a purse, roughly how big is it? What do you carry in it? It's small. Phone, iPod, wallet, keys, hand sanitizer, a few other miscellaneous things I may need. Of all the pets you have had throughout your life, which one has meant the most to you? Is there a reason why? My current dog Teddy. He's an absolute angel that adores me probably even more than I adore him. He's been an important part of my life for 11 years, and I could never love a literal child more. Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you? My mom 'cuz she'd kill a bitch. Is love a commitment to one person, or can you love more than one person at the same time? I believe it's totally possible to be interested in more than one people, but love? Only one. I believe loving someone is about putting him/her above all others. What is your favorite kind of incense? Omg I had this one, red incense that smelled fucking AMAZING, but I don't remember what it was called! D: Who is the most immature person you know? *winks @ Sara* Do you read your friend’s surveys? Yes, because it's a cool way to learn usually miscellaneous things about them you wouldn't have known. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you pick? I wouldn't want to get one tomorrow, actually. I want to get a Markiplier tattoo I designed for Christmas, and I'm going to estimate it'll be around $150-$200 (I'm not good at estimating tat prices, so take that with a grain of salt), so I want to be sure we have money for that first. Literally the only thing I'm asking for for Christmas, I just don't ask for much anymore. How do you feel about band tattoos? I'm not against them or anything, but I'm not sure I'll ever get one. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? Opposite or same, lip piercings. What brand of hair dye do you prefer to use? Splat is the only kind that's ever actually made the color stick for months. Won't use anything but that anymore. Would you ever get your hips pierced? No, seems painful as fuck and dangerous with pants and all, and I'm not skinny enough to look good with them. Have you ever gone to court? Not for a "real" trial, but I did have to give my reasoning as to why I felt I should be discharged from the hospital earlier (I think they wanted me there a month) to a judge, and it was one of the most nerve-wracking things ever. I did win the case, though. Would you ever want to swim with the sharks? No. I'm not necessarily scared of sharks and even believe they're immensely misunderstood, but I don't trust a shark enough to swim with it. Do you like sushi? I can pretty much guarantee I'd absolutely loathe it. Never trying. What is the worst thing that could possibly happen to you? Relapsing. I will fucking not go through that again. Who is your favorite visual artist? NukeRooster and Culpeo-Fox of dA. Their styles are super recognizable and just wonderful. I actually want a tattoo of one of NukeRooster's pieces ("Denialism") and actually got her permission, but it would be INCREDIBLY expensive with how intricate it is, so it's gonna be a looooong time 'til that happens. How old were you when you figured out what you wanted to do for a career? Lmao last month, so 21. Is there anyone with whom you would like to be better friends? A LOT of people. Mostly online friends, but some irl too. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Mom. Do you like pretzels? I have a massive preference for soft ones, but I'll eat either. Do any of your friends have children? My best friend's pregnant and I have some friends I used to be closer to who have young kids. Would you rather cry in public or make someone else cry in public? I'd rather cry, but either would suck. Would you rather re-live today forever or not live? I have absolutely zero desire for immortality. Have you ever truly thought you knew who you were going to marry? Yeah. Who was the last person of the opposite sex to be in your bedroom? I actually don't think a guy has ever been in this bedroom... Well, maybe save for when people were helping us move in, but I don't remember. Do you like kissing in public? Only if it's just a simple peck. Is the male or female body closest to perfection? I don't think either is "better" than the other. Four guys/girls whom you find attractive: 1.) Mark Fischfuck, 2.) Link Neal, 3.) Hannah Hart is like my biggest female celeb crush, 4.) uhhh... I'm not really sure. Maybe Johnny Depp? What is your definition of cheating? As soon as you're flirting with someone else in an obviously non-playful way, you're cheating. Do you tend to go for older or younger when looking for someone to date? Older guys for maturity, no preference with girls. When do you want to get married? I don't have a specific time in mind. I don't want kids, so it's not like I'm racing the biological clock. Describe your personality in 3 words or less: Really Fucking Awkward™ What size bed do you have? Queen How many friends do you have? Very few that I consider "friends," really. Around like 10, and most I include are more like... a bit higher than acquaintances, but not really "friends?" What's the worst thing you have ever done? It's something I don't talk about because it's humiliating to think I've done it. What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Dry as actual fuck. Are you going to change your last name when you get married? If I marry a man, yes. If I maybe a girl, depends on whose name sounds better with whose last name lol. What is your phone background? Lock screen, Mark Fischbach, home screen, the magic sigil from "Shadow of the Colossus." Have you taken self-defense classes? No, but I should. Particularly with how much I distrust people. What are you known for among your friends? Being very quiet. The person you would never want to meet? A rapist. For someone who's never even been harassed, I am fucking terrified of them and rape in general to the point my mother and therapist have asked multiple times if I've ever been molested. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? The divorce. I would say the breakup, but that, in the end, had an amazing effect on me. Have you ever built a snowman? Yeah. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Vanilla, but sometimes I'm in the mood for chocolate. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? The picture I did of one of my RP OC's scars to demonstrate how it looked since it was hard to describe. What do you think about babies? I'm very uncomfortable around them and feel like I can just touch them and they'll break. And unlike, like, everyone, I don't find newborn/very young babies cute. What is the effect on you of having people physically nearby, if they’re not interacting with you? AWKWARD AS FUCK I GET SO UNCOMFORTABLE. Like whenever my mom sits on the couch (it's directly outside my door), I have to close it because her being able to see me and me being able to see her is awkward to me. If I'm sitting in the front seat of a car with someone, I need music on. Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep? I do that a LOT. Have you ever experienced something paranormal? I feel I have at least twice. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been stuck in traffic? I don't know. You don't get AWFUL traffic jams in this part of NC, but we've definitely waited a while. Best field trip experience? The zoo in 5th grade!! Saw meerkats for the first time and I was fucking ecstatic. How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? Sometimes I don't go on for days, and if I do, I go through my news feed once and am done. What is the worst thunderstorm you’ve experienced? Maybe this one time when we still lived in Sharpsburg... Mom came to get us from our friend's house, which was maybe like 15 minutes away, and I was having an absolute panic attack. Favorite episode of Spongebob? Hm. Maybe the Slasher one. Or the pizza one. What bug frightens you most? Rhinoceros beetles and wasps. Do you hate your weight? Yup. But it's getting better. What do you usually order on a pizza? Jalapeno from Domino's, pepperoni from Little Caesar's because their jalapeno is too hot for even me. What is one thing that the Titanic has taught you? Don't go on a ship in a fucking arctic ocean. What is one thing you dislike about sheep? Why? I'm going to assume they smell bad? But otherwise, I love sheep, they're super cute. What do you think is an assumption that someone could make about you, just by looking at your Tumblr? Would this assumption be correct? That I love Mark, Rhett, and Link more than I love myself & they're probably right lmao. Do you sleep with your door closed or open? It's usually open, but I sometimes close it because Bentley annoys the fuck out of me because he comes into my room just to scratch himself relentlessly and get more fur in my room than there already is. Like he ALWAYS comes to my room just to do this shit. It's most annoying just because he's obnoxiously loud when he does this and I'm trying to sleep. Do you sometimes need help opening water bottles, Gatorade bottles, etc.? YUP. My hands are extremely soft, so it hurts easily. What would you say is your number one priority in life right now? My mental health, 100%. Are you someone who has to hide the things you like around friends? I don't have to, no, but I ABSOLUTELY do. I'm way too easily embarrassed about what I'm passionate about. But for some reason I'm not online. Do you like word or picture tattoos better? It depends on the style, how well it is done, and the placement. <<< This. When will your driver’s license expire? My permit expires in December. If you did, did you have to get a Tetanus shot? I think? Isn't that a required vaccination? What color lipstick do you think looks best on you? Black. I think me being so pale actually makes it look nice on me. Do you prefer pastel colors or dusty colors? Forests or beaches? Strawberries or bananas? Pastels, forests, strawberries. Do you prefer sunshine or moonlight? Gardening or baking? Flowers or succulents? Moonlight, neither, uhhh flowers maybe. Or maybe the latter. Idk. Do you use emojis when you text or type online? No, I use emoticons. It's a fucking miracle if I ever use an emoji. Do you like playing games by yourself or with other people? If you're talking about video games, usually alone. Do you prefer honey or jam? Roses or sunflowers? Oatmeal or cereal? Jame, roses, probably cereal. Give me a random word in another language. Tell me what it means. "Erdmännchen" is German for "meerkat." A romantic meal, a trip to a theme park, or go to a concert? Concert, dude. When was the last time you had an alcoholic beverage? Two months ago because Mom felt like getting Smirnoff's and apparently we have the same favorite (the Jamaican one) and she laughed "well you better drink it before me or Nicole do" so we shared two. Do you believe you'll find someone better than who you're with now? Honest opinion, I think she's perfect for me. So finding someone better would surprise me. Do you like pineapple? YES Would you ever smoke? No. I don't fancy cancer, bad breath, and a likely addiction. What was the first thing you are/were excited to do upon turning 21? Even when I got out of the hospital, I did nothing to celebrate. There wasn't really anything I looked forward to besides just legally being an adult. You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? I don't ever want to be drunk considering I don't like the idea of not having a full grip on myself but if that was to ever hypothetically happen, it'd be Colleen, I'm sure. Do you like hickeys? If they're not obvious. Do you always answer your texts? If I have nothing to say, no. Do people ever call you by your last name? No, I'd hate that. I don't like my last name, plus it's masculine. What do you most like about making out? It's just a passionate experience. When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? Huh. Kinda split according to history. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Apparently not. If an attractive person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? 1.) Looks are whatever and 2.) I'm not an ass, and even if they broke up, I wouldn't date a disloyal person. Is it hard for you to imagine life away from your hometown? I don't live in my hometown already. Do you expect to move out in the next year? That'd be pretty much miraculous. Name something you have always wanted and never got. An iguana, for one. Do you want a small or big wedding? I'm sure it'll be pretty small. I'm not close to enough people to want them to come, but it obviously also depends on who my s/o wants to come. Do you actually participate in gym class, or just stand there? Participated considering you couldn't graduate without it. Which was fucking stupid. Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? I've never had that fear. Are you dressing up for Halloween this year? I'd like to, but I doubt it. Do you have unlimited texting? Yes. Have you ever slept a whole day away? Accidentally and I had a massive panic attack because it totally screwed me up. Do you like those ramen noodles? I actually really dislike ramen. There was this one spicy kind, though, that I essentially survived off of in the apartment, and it was good. Don't remember the name, though. What’s your favorite song by Daughtry? "No Surprise" Do you make good first impressions? I honestly doubt I do because I'll just make it fucking awkward because I'll be uncomfortable. Are you ashamed of your past? Many parts of it. Name all the social networking sites you use: Just Tumblr and Facebook. Do you watch "The Walking Dead"? No. Are raisins good? Omg no. Disgusting. Do you get cold easily? I get hot easier. Have either of your parents gone to jail? No. Do you think homosexuality (anything beside heterosexual) is a choice? I personally believe it's a mutation considering it defies the biological plan, BUT a mutation does not equate to being wrong. I fully support it. I don't believe it's a choice either because you can't force yourself to be sexually attracted to a certain gender. Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows? Leave them. Mom takes Nicole and me to get ours waxed for only special occasions. There's really just no point. Do you like guns? NO. I'm not into extreme gun control and overall do support the 2nd Amendment (but with some degree of improved control), but I'm personally horrified of them and never want to touch one. They hold way too much power. Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? I keep Venus' light on. What do you think of mosh pits? Seems pretty stupid, honestly. I've never heard of someone not being in pain after a mosh pit. Do you wear hoop earrings or studs more? Eh, kinda tied. Have you ever had stitches? Twice. Does heat seem to drain you of your energy? Completely. Who do you think has it harder in terms of expectations regarding physical appearance: men, or women? Elaborate on your choice? Women, easily. We have an absolute novel of societal expectations. Who is the most emotionally strong person that you know? I have a number of people in mind, but I don't know about most. Do you feel comfortable staying over at other people's houses for the night? I have to know the person very well. Or would you rather they stayed over at yours? No, my place is boring as fuck. Do you spend time online when your friends are over? I'll twiddle on my phone if we're doing nothing, but I don't use my laptop. Do you spend [too much] time texting when you’re around others? No, I try to refrain from texting when I'm with friends. Who was the “bad guy” in the last book you read? That I finished, Ner'zhul was the "main" one if we're being technical, but Arthas was a villain as well. Are you an insomniac? I officially do have insomnia. I now have to take Melatonin every night if I at all hope to sleep.

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