#anyway. now jeanne again but physical

[cestacruz]

Mmm Jeanne

#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore #jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write #we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote #was actually Her own book #jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life #marie reads to jeanne is my image #jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence #if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself #unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal #she can sign her own name ofc thats historical #she can recite the bible from memory iirc #i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream #like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED. #WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO #anyway. now jeanne again but physical #oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life #i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different #but i just gotta confirm #but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that #when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair #sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part #and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like #but it still upsets her #not that she'd ever complain to people #you can probably get it out of her tho #unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year #war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh #my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died-- #and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc #actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Weekly Roundup: Prompts (I fucked up but that's like from one week ago)

Tsukihime

Diferent Anon than the current Tsukihime petplay one, I offer the oppisite: Arcuied puts Ciel down like old yeller, is delighted that she can old yeller her over and over again.

Arcueid is convinced she's a kitty girl and thus gets deeply offended when every "what animal are you" quiz she takes tells her she's a golden retriever (which she is)

Arcueid becoming Neco Arc played completely straight as some sort of horrofic Jekyll and Hyde style transformation.

Kohaku starts a recruitment drive for new maids for the mansion, and everyone (regardles of gender or even species) in Misaki Town finds themselves drafted - whether they like it or not

Fate/Zero

Waver gets a break for once

Fate/Extra

Smut, Someone attempts to hack BB, but the super AI is far too above such petty human tricks. She definitely resisted all the attempts to change her personality and her perception of normal, as you can tell by the fact that her panties have massive dildos spreading her vagina and her ass at any and all times, just like she definitely always has and didn't suddenly start doing the day of the for sure failed hacking attempt. She's also definitely always loved having her face fucked by men and women and enbies alike, as is perfectly normal. Her face is meant to pleasure anyone and everyone who wants her to! Gosh, that's just logic. It's why she has a mouth and throat and tongue in the first place!

Smut, Mostly I just have a hypnosis kink and enjoy the idea that a machine can only do what it's programmed to do, regardless of what it was programmed to do yesterday. Anyway BB gets a software update and "remembers" that it's polite for her to eat her Master out every day, especially because her Master for sure didn't make her think that was normal, because it just always was.

Kama and/or Kiara face their greatest challenge yet: someone who is asexual. The Beasts of Lust lose and lose hard.

Smut, Nero bondage (I think it still counts if it's something that prevents them from moving) where she forces another character into the Roman Candle Execution Method they pioneered IRL - aka trapping them in a wax coating that restricts their movement (here with the exception of the various body holes) with the caveat that holes are unsealed so Nero can have sex with them. May or may not involve the person/ candle actually being set alight or suffocating in the wax during being fucked The person doesn't actually have to die.

Fate/Stay Night

Archer grows tits. He's still male. He's still a dude, he's masc, he's comfortable being called a man. But now he has tits and he likes them. Anyways now instead of fourth place for biggest chest he's second only to Passionlip.

Hopping off of the archer spontaneously grows tits anon from earlier- he is now the first axis man to get a swimsuit alt because of it.

Guinevere gets summoned, and Lancelot tries to leave her alone to avoid starting any drama, only for Guinevere to demand to see him because she never stopped loving him

Fate/Apocrypha

Astolfo, in a rare moment of lucidity, congratulating someone on their transition. Ideally, phrased ambiguously enough to make it unclear what sort of trans they are, or how far in the transition they are, just that Astolfo is happy with the progress and glad for them to have moved closer to their truth.

Sieg, having been alive and independent for less than a week and whose closest friends are Jeanne and Astolfo, thinks that wearing feminine clothing is completely normal. Upon being summoned to Chaldea, promptly tries on those cute skirts Asolfo likes to wear.

Sieg and Astolfo sleep together. Not as in the euphemism-for-sex sense, they just fall asleep in the same bed cuddling each other, high emphasis on them being physically affectionate and tender and also adorable.

FGO

Smut, Several servants whose claim to fame includes "good at sex" decide to try and figure out who is best at it. They need an impartial judge to agree to get fucked silly by all of them. Gudao/Gudako "mysteriously" goes missing not long after (spends the next weeks getting fucked into the ground by all of them).

Guda finally after everything gets a nice peaceful-ish death! Unfortunately instead of immediately being sent to any after life they have to be isekai'd (again seriously for real this time) so the various afterlife reps can have a custody battle over their immortal soul...

Smut, Nitocris under her Medjed sheet, maintaining the perfect poise and bearing of a pharaoh, exactly the same as all days. Which is rather impressive, seeing as the only thing she's wearing under it is a dildo up her ass. Heavy emphasis on how genuinely nobody else knows anything is any different than usual, with the possible exception of her girlfriend Scheherazade. Who might've been involved in the escapade.

I wanna see Blackbeard covered in blood. Whether it be defending his collection, saving his master, reenactment of his death or that one Black Sails scene, getting his red wings etc I don't care. I just want that nerd drippin in the red stuff

we have fairy knights of the round. but there should be a round table of dogs , naturally lead by Sir Cavall II

There's only room for one loud angry trans man in Chaldea! Mordred and Caenus duke it out! Whether or not the "sparring match" devolves into furious sex afterwards is up to the writer.

BB decides to host a reality show with challenges.. but every challenge is cruel one way or another, like facing your worst fears… BUT IT IS TEN TIMES WORSE. The prize for winning is getting to bed Gudao AND a grail

WG Scenario where after Flauros possessed Lev, he started losing weight from not eating as much as his host used to. Roman points this out during a checkup and it makes Flauros paranoid that this sudden change will make the Chaldeans suspicious of him and realize their coworker has been taken over. So he starts eating more to gain back the weight but overdoes it and winds up as big as Goredolf. Bonus points if a Chaldean hits on him as he gains more but it just makes him think they're onto him.

Smut, heeey maybe the watsonian reason why shiva isn't available for summoning is because there's quite a lot of woman at chaldea interested in pegging him , in addition to teaching Kali & Durga about femdom.. and you have gudako , who is gonna put him in a mating press or die trying.

Morgan and Mash have been in a sexual relationship for a bit now, which they excuse as just being a casual thing (Not the right way to court a queen after all, that’d be incredibly improper…), except Mash has started accidentally picking up her fashion cues with the black lace, occasional blue lipstick, and- oh that’s a collar. Nobody wants to say anything, even if it’s congratulatory, as they don’t wanna get Berserker-looped.

Smut, Everyone has their own sexual rhythm for providing penetration, but Lancelot (Saber)’s is Rock Your Body by Justin Timberlake, and it really weirds Raikou out, because he legitimately doesn’t realize.

the realization that kadoc has fully grown accustomed to chaldea's chaos did not occur when he started a pirate radio station with jalter in order to put BB channel out of buisness, instead the realization hits kadoc when he accidentally calls archer moriarty Dad. and to make things even more funny , fran is cool with having kadoc as a foster brother.

Woodwose somehow ends up at a furry convention

The reason why Blackbeard hate for fighting and actually working is because his thirst for piracy was what made him abandon his wife and lose his life. So in a Dodrinya type situation Chaldea summons Edward Teach(B.B. true name), the greatest pirate who has ever lived, and it's Blackbeard's wife and they have an awkward reunion

all the doctor servants just fucken die due to the amount of apples gudao/gukao consume in this up coming lotte events. they then respawn after the two weeks are up and promptly beat they to death with medical supple.

Consider, Sex Pollen, but Guda is allergic to pollen.

Oberon gets fucked until he starts calling himself Titania.

All the lostbelt kings are lamenting the loss of their lostbelt together, except for Qin who just came back from their own perfect recreation of their lostbelt and is confused on why they’re all sad

since gudako and Morgan are married this means Sith becomes an sibling older due to gudako's kids(kid Gil, Illyea, nursery and jack). Jack super happy to have an older sibling but Sith is against this until jack brings her black-beards head because he was talking mad shit about her older sister. Sith now responds when jack calls her big sis and calls her litte sister from that day on.

Kiara tries to tempt an ace Gudako with garlic bread. Gudako can't eat gluten so the attempt fails miserably.

Noncon, incest, I can't take this anymore I need to see Duryodhana's stupid loser ass get nonconed by Bhima or by a mob I don't care he just deserves to get put in his place (bonus points if you use his line for getting hit by np)

Its Mother's Day in chaldea and in a bit of a twist Morgan gives presents to her phh children since she feels bad for what she did in their timeline

someone be insane about hanahaki with me, theres a botanical fucking garden in ritsuka fujimaru's lungs and people who some of the flowers grow for are dead aaaaaahhh. none of that "its only curable if they love you back" or "removing the flowers kills your ability to feel" though. guda has to get rid of the flowers in their lungs and they gotta confess to do that but again, many of the people they grow flowers for are dead by gudas own hand from the lostbelts going down.

Bradamante is the de facto straightman of the Paladins of Charlemagne, but when left to her own devices/is without any of her ilk, she’s as much off a silly bimbo as the rest of them

Now summoned as a servant rather than a full fairy, Barghest discovers that she no longer gets sick from eating chocolate, and that she has an INCREDIBLE sweet tooth. In order to satiate her appetite, she gets Medb to channel Knocknarea’s spirit origin for access to her chocolate fields, in exchange for Barghest now serving as her Hound and Brave. Cue a Petplay/Weight Gain scenario about their treat-based relationship economy.

Smut, Koyanskaya’s tail isn’t real, it’s a buttplug (of egregiously large proportions, but that’s beside the point), and she’s started selling them. If you keep it in however, a set of Fox ears begin to grow, and your teeth begin to sharpen… hey, what do you mean Gudako just got gifted one?!

Silly omegaverse courtship between master and castoria where guda is desperately trying to court this beautiful fairy idiot with elaborate rock art that is too circular for her tastes, all the food they can make safely while severely impaired from rutbrain, random objects they think she would like, and eventually when they manage to create cool rock art that pleases the lady a sick ass breakdance. Whether or not they fuck in the end is up to you I just like versegm's ideas

Kingprotea practicing to control her strength so she can safely give her Master a headpat. Lots of practice dummies get varying degrees of comically destroyed as she carefully dials it in.

All the Sakuraface servants get summoned all at the same time sharing Sakura's body. Sakura's many many new headmates get up to comedic hijinks as they spend so much time fighting each other for control that Sakura's actually not really stopped from doing anything.

FGO again

Smut, Tai Gong Wang valentines but he actually goes through with what he was alluding to and we are treated to him and Guda having steamy outdoor sex (Guda's gender,.kinks, who tops, ect. is up to the writer)

Smut, Post Valentine's Gudako confronts Oberon over his shitty return gift. The two argue ending in hate sex. What happens next is up to the writer but it's gotta end with Oberon, completely sucked try, exhausted, and questioning if Gudako is related to the Merlins in some way (i.e part succubi)

Smut, You think Gudako is a top? WRONG! She's actually a hardcore masochist that loves being dominated. The crueler the partner, the better.

Let’s stop putting the pining on Mash, let Morgan be the one who has to search endlessly for her first knight whom she no longer remembers.

Okita, noticing that her coughing has only gotten worse to the point that she can no longer fight, begs Nobu to take her head. Nobu does not know what to do

Nightingale, known magic denier, is summoned under the caster class on accident, and is forced to learn how to do wizard/magical girl stuff. She gains a couple ranks in the Insanity skill by proxy.

Artoria stops Medb from consuming a pot brownie, finds out it's "forever weed" laced and has to try and hide the fact that she's super high from Merlin, every member of the round table in chaldea, Morgan, guinevere and other who have somehow been summoned by medb just for this occasion and the master themself

Due to their bond Gudako ends up seeing Angra's memories in her Dreams, specifically who he was before becoming the incarnation of all evil and the torture they did to turn him into that

guda this explaining pronouns to an older servant(whoever you want) while jack is in the room minutes later jack says they want to be non-binary because it represent all the kids that make them up and it sound cool.

loli, Sherlock begs Helena to put him on a leash and collar and walk him around and Helena decides to overperform by taking him out through the Chaldea halls late at night. Humiliation and being out to the writers discretion

Smut, Tamamo and her Master (Hakuno, Gudako, I ain't too picky) engage in BDSM for the first time, with Tamamo as the dom. Tamamo has the experience, though, and so teaches her Master about how it usually goes and how safe words work and such. Lots of emphasis on the process of teaching a newbie how to engage in the kink safely.

The trauma of the Lostbelts actually gets to Ritsuka. They end up repressing the memories of certain events (Mash's death, the destruction of the Lostbelts, fight with ORT, ect.), and would have moments where they disassociate. It gets worse after the Olympus lostbelt as they then would occasionally lay in bed unresponsive for hours to even days.

(writer chooses how the servants deal with this, and wether they want to go full angst, hurt/comfort, ect.)

columbus rolls the worst joint ever witnessed by man god and demon and is immediately executed for it

Canonically not understanding how to treat mental health issues, Nightingale prescribes Gudako bimbofication pills

oberon gifts morgan a gift of just bugs. Now he’s being chased by the faerie knights and now gudako must at least stop them from murdering oberon for his antics

kriemhild wants sieg to change his name. the next day, turns out his name is Hans Schmidt now. And kriemhild has to tell sieg that ‘no, he didn’t have to change his name’

ABDL - Raikou gets fed up with how pervy and non-innocent Gudako acts, and decides she'll have to fuck her until her mind regresses to a more innocent age.

Izou and Ryouma get stuck in myhouse.wad

Fujimaru gets summoned in Requiem, recognizes Erice who is extremly confused about it.

Cu gets into an argument with salter rider maid supreme, decides to one up her at maiding. Not one hell of a butler, one hell of a MAID. He is wearing a MAID dress and doing maid stuff to be clear hear. Shenanigans ensue. He can fuck around along the way if he wants. But he must defeat Salter at maid shit. Any version of cu but setanta is cool for this.

Any fandom

Any character getting turned into a small dress up doll and then being dressed up.

not quite a prompt fill but like, as to how mutting could work(reverse bitching that was requested a while back that mod named) i think it could happen if you just kept your face in peoples holes for long as you can as frequently as you can. eat pussy/ass like you get paid by the hour to do it. probably through someone elses heat or even your own. until you grow a cock to fuck them with. or just become an alpha. whichever is cooler for you.

Some sort of mystical force gets fed up with all the various non-berserk, completely coherent berserkers and decides to rectify that. As practise, it drains Jalter's mind and sanity and increases her physical fitness to the point she makes Heracles look like a reasonable little shrimp

#weekly roundup

[camelots-fridge]

Welcome

This blog serves as a place to share and catalogue my favorite 'foods' (waifus and F/Os mainly). My tastes are pretty basic, but I do posses a bias for some very specific ones. As I'm no doubt sure my 'chef' will bombard and fill it with the '#camelots food' signal.

Consume responsibly, or else it'll lead to rotting of the brain. Selection may update with time.

What kinds of food will you find here? Well...

Fate Grand Order: Jeanne d' Arc (Alter) and Ishtar These two are something else. They encapsulate my taste/type pretty well. Ishtar being entertaining and her tsun moments are surprisingly adorable, and Jalter being incredibly interesting narratively with her character growth and development, combined with her tough exterior, yet soft interior.

There isn't much else to say about these two. Other than that these are my favorite type of tsunderes, and also the trope being done correctly and not overblown.

But there's also one more... Tamamo vitch Koyanskaya Is she evil? Yes. Is she sadistic? Also yes. Is she a bitch? Yes again. Does she have any redeeming qualities? None whatsoever. Would this even be a healthy or even reasonably smart decision? Not at all. But I hate that I can't hate her, and it still has me confused. But I also don't dilute myself with any of that 'I can fix her' crap. I know what I'm getting into, and I know what I want. Fortunately, we're both on the same page in that regard. This is all just business to her anyways so...

Azur Lane: Friedrich, Bismarck, and Golden Hind What else really needs to be said? Just look at those three. Those three would definitely be good company in whatever scenario. Friedrich and Golden Hind melt my guard, because when it comes to kryptonite, none is stronger to me than physical and intimate affection. And those two ooze (literally in Hind's case) physical and intimate. Bismarck meanwhile has a special kind of charm I always appreciate. Strong and independent, but still willing to learn and adapt, even to others. And even loving under the right circumstances, eager to learn alongside her chosen.

Honkai Star Rail: Kafka The mystery, the allure, her demeanor, her voice. The fact you can't always tell what's going on in her head. She pushes all the buttons in all the right ways. She always keeps you on your toes, and I'm always up to let my luck decide. Hey, I never said I was a smart guy. How is it possible that being by her side seems like the safest, yet also most perilous place in the universe? Red may not be my favorite color, but it is when Kafka's around.

Genshin Impact: Mona Megistus What's there to say that hasn't already been said? Girl's charismatic and charming as all hell. The fact she's so dedicated and determined in her work, and how she refuses to profit off of it despite the fact she's loaded as it is also shows her pride and dignity. Yet she never oversteps her boundaries.

Hypnosis Mic: Ichijiku Kadenokoji I don't even know where to begin with her. Like...how do I explain? Well first off how she's written, and the little drops we get to why and how she is the way she is. I'm always up for a 'loyal second in command who slowly starts to question the morality of what their doing'. I'll be honest, she at first seemed like one of those 'bad bitch' kinda deals. Stomp me to the curb for ever making that mistake please. Now I know better. Plus a certain someone put it in my head that she'd be the 'they asked for no pickles!' kinda girlfriend/wife.

Another is one who technically doesn't exist (at least not to the broader public eye). In fact, she's a character belonging to a dear friend @thelakeofnimue. And that's: Evelin I've made a whole essay about why I love this character in the past privately among our circle. To put it short, Evelin is a bundle of surprises who seems like one thing one moment, yet can surprise you with something else the next. But without it being jarring or out of nowhere. You can generally get what she's about, but her inner workings always keep you guessing. Typically a stoic cat lover who loves solitude, she seems like an ice queen to most who meet her, and they'd be right. Others would say she's trigger happy with her sword...and they'd also be right. Few who get to know her deeper would say she's surprisingly gentle and caring, at the very least open to any who give her a chance, and she'll offer the same courtesy to you...and they'd also be right.

The only wrong interpretation is that she's any one given thing. She's in fact many things. Surprisingly complex when you give her a chance. And to me, she's mastered the 'stoic charm' type of character, where all she must do is simply talk and I'm on my knees. Stick around long enough, and you too may be lost in her deep violet eyes.

Note: Again, updates might come.

[elia-de-silentio]

Recap on Vanijeanne

As we try to recover from ... well, chapter 50, who wants to read a recap on the most controversial and Problematique couple in the manga?

*crickets*

Well, it was in my to-do list, so I'm writing it anyways.

Now, I love their first meeting, because while it sucks on 'what is actually happening' level, it does a wonderful work of exposure of the characters, hinting at their further development in a few panels.

Jeanne is presented as a '''''"strong woman'''''' ... meaning that's she's very good at fighting. That's essentially a good thug, it says nothing on character strenght. In fact, the only words she says for the first two chapters are asking Luca for orders: she's not shown as someone who takes initiative and acts on her own.

Even her emotional bond to Luca is taken as a sign of her weakness; while caring for someone isn't in any way a moral or emotional deficiency, quite the opposite actually, it hints at the fact that this girl has been so isolated, she has grown terribly attached to the only person to treat her with more than basic decency.

Speaking of basic decency, Vanitas fails even that. He straight-out sexually harassess her, making her feel even more powerless after mocking her for not living up to the strenght expected from her. We will later see that Vanitas isn't above psychological attacks on his enemies (hello, Astolfo), but this is callous even for his standards. Why would he do that?

Well, even if it was the first chapters, it was a bit of a shock to see the character behaving in such a way. Insofar, Vanitas had been presented as cocky, somewhat pushy and trollish, but also determined to help people, kind to Amelia, cheerful and funny. All around, a 'good guy'.

Even Noé, who back then said he didn't particularly like Vanitas, called 'overwhelmingly right' his healing of Amelia. Vanitas pulls a face at hearing that, and I suspect his behaviour towards Jeanne is in some measure a way to 'de-impress' Noé. After all, as we'll see in later chapters, he is an horrible person and can't risk someone actually liking him, right?

Their following meeting at the Bal Masqué is almost as bad. Here, Vanitas exploits her weakened state to flat out coerce Jeanne into drinking his blood, again using Luca as emotional blackmail (she'll hurt Vani, so the kid will be okay). Again, Jeanne really, really doesn't want to do this, and the scene drives home well her turmoil and hatred for the whole situation.

If Jeanne is being coerced in a situation of weakness, Vanitas is not actually faring that better. He wanted to have his blood drunk because he had seen Dominique and Noé do that, and he wanted something similar to the affection these two expressed, but not too similar because he doesn't deserve it and so he must make sure that the other party hates him and - this guy is a mess.

But the blood-drinking looks definitely painful for him. Heck, he even has to cover his own mouth to avoid screaming!

Their third meeting keeps on this proud tradition. In this instance, Vanitas makes quite a bit of back and forth: first he teases Jeanne in public about that possession mark, then dials back when he sees Luca taking issue; he offers privately to help her mantain her secret about the uncontrollable blood-craving, then he puts forth conditions (that she calls him by his name, thus establishing an intimacy she doesn't want, and that she drinks only from him, this limiting the damage she could do but also keeping a personal leash on her); he requires that she only drinks his blood, prattling on how good it feels, but then he has the same pained expression when she actually does it. His motivations here are probably mixed: partly desire to help a possible curse-bearer, partly a way to exercise control on Jeanne (as we have seen with Noé, Vanitas likes being the one in charge of situations), and partly some actual attraction to her.

On her part, Jeanne stands firm in her dislike of Vanitas, even if she really liked the taste of his blood.

Later in the same chapter, Noé questions Vanitas about love; he admits that he doesn't really know, just when he looks a Jeanne il flusso sanguigno gli passa dalle zone superiori a quelle inferiori his heart beats faster. He also lists his reasons for liking Jeanne; quite surprisingly, not only her considerable chest (though that got attention) but also some personality traits, such as her weird blend of toughness and fragility. Still, they're not exactly deep reasons. It sound more like a superficial crush.

But then, he adds something very important: he pursues her because she won't love him back. Here we got the first big hint of Vanitas's huge self-loathing: he is an horrible person, he doesn't deserve love, if someone loves him it means they have got some problems. He likes Jeanne, she's not the kind of person to like him back, he can have a '''safe''' relationship!

Then there is their famous date. It began as a ploy on Jeanne's part to get rid of Vanitas: because of quella comare di Noé, Dominique and then Jeanne herself get to know about that observation just above. So they get the idea: let's pretend that Jeanne really likes Vanitas, so he will leave on his own.

A sound plan, which would have worked if not for ... well, take a look at Jeanne up there. Does she look like she's confessing her love, or trying very hard not to throw up?

But the problem is: the date is great. Vanitas understands exactly what she was up to, and promptly went along with the act. And for the first time, he is actually nice to her: he shows her around the city, is attentive to her wishes, he speaks his mind about some little things.

And this completely throws Jeanne off her balance. Where does this sudden change come from? (And this was probably Vani's intention all along, as another way to keep her on edge and control her)

Not to mention, she's really not used to kindness. She's a bourreau, a pariah. She is so rarely treated with any decency, she is extremely sensitive when someone shows her even a little of it.

This ... '''cute''' rendez-vous comes to an abrupt end when an accident triggers Jeanne's bloodthirst. Vanitas gets her away before anything can happen, lets her feed on him (which still look painful) and tries to understand what exactly her problem is.

Whatever it is, Jeanne is forbidden by Ruthven to talk about it; the only thing certain, is that she is terrified by the perspective of harming Luca, should she no longer be able to control this bloodthirst. Vanitas reacts to this by promising to kill her before such thing can happen.

This scene is ...uuuuh ... interesting. I think that Vanitas actually meant well, even if only in part and in his own way. He surely sees it as an important promise, that he will honor should the necessity manifest itself. As for the other part, here is another nice chance for him to be the one in control!

With their next meeting, Mochizuki slams the gas pedal. In this case, Jeanne is not in a condition of vulnerability, there is nothing to blackmail her with at hand, and she's physically better off: it's the first time we see her take charge.

She has finally the chance to show off her better qualities: her sense of honor in repaying debts (Vanitas protected her from a blow from Astolfo before, getting wounded as a result), her level-headedness in difficult situation and her sense of responsibility towards others.

Vanitas, on the other hand, is a wreck. He lost his book, he got wounded, he has got hypotermia, he couldn't prevent Jeanne from stripping him out of the wet clothes and seeing the scars on his body, he has got a fever and is delirious. In this state, he gets a pretty loose tongue: he asks Jeanne some pretty personal questions about her motives here. She stays firm on what she 'has to' do regarding Chloé, but still, this is the first seed of doubt in her mind.

Oh, and there another kinda-kiss. No idea what Jeanne was thinking, passing Vanitas water that way instead of just putting the bottle to his lips.

Anyways, Vanitas really doesn't like not being the one in control. The morning after he acts the coldest he has ever been to Jeanne, dismissing her and then focusing on the task at hand, doing his best to avoid talking about that moment of fragility. Still, he shows some care for her, inviting her to listen to Dante's informations about Chloé.

They have a bit of a conflict of interest in there: Jeanne feels guilty about not fulfilling her duty as a tool and wants to amend by actually killing her mentor, Vanitas wants to save that same person; and, maybe because of personal experience, he has realized that Chloé 's death won't make Jeanne happy.

And how does the situation get resolved? In the sweetest, most actually romantic way possible. Vanitas exposes the truth about Gevaudan to Jeanne, and asks her what she truly wants.

A bit of exposition on Jeanne's past reveals that she has severe trauma after witnessing the death of her parents and being treated as a bourreau, a tool; she's convinced that if she ever acts according to her own will, someone else will be hurt. She's completely broken down by not having been able to kill one of the few people who treated her with kindness, and blames herself for everything that's happened in this arc.

But (after some unwitting influence from Noé) in sweeps our knight in a shining baggy coat, with the following message: she has every right to her desires. He wants to make her happy, he won't die as a result, he's ready to accept all she has to say, without judging her, with no condescension or trying to control her. All she has to do is be the one to give the order, and he'll obey. And she wishes for Chloé to be saved.

Chloé is saved. Her will to live is restored, and she is reunited with the people she loves. Jeanne is, in her own words, 'so happy she could burst', and extremely grateful to Vanitas.

This propels her to first drink his blood, and this time it really doesn't look painful; then to kiss him. And this time, he is the one to blush and stutter, clearly off-balanced by what has happened  and by the fact he doesn't dislike it one bit.

The following chapters can be only described as hysterical. Upon actually falling in love, Vanitas enacts the following:

• Spending ten days in bed, thinking he's about to die.

• Believing Jeanne cursed him

• Describing extensively and graphically, in front of Count Orlok, that particular blood-drinking che per come è posto sembra più una trombata

• Getting physically thrown out as a result

• Wandering in a haze, thinking about Jeanne's smile

• Running in a panic after hearing some convenient passerby declare his feelings for a girl with him

• After almost literally stumbling on Roland, sitting down with him and Olivier and trying to get romantic advice from a guy he dislikes and another he has never seen before.

• Trying the 'asking for a friend' trick. Is figured out after an esteemed timeframe of 0.2 seconds.

(Perdonate l'interruzione. La faccia da culo di Roland meritava la condivisione)

• Getting the most desperate look after Roland diagnisizes him with 'love'

• Throwing away all pretenses and expressing outright his self-loathing, to what is pretty much a couple of strangers, in stark contrast with his usual reservation.

• Reacting like a pissed-off cat to any attempts of comfort from Roland and Noé.

Meanwhile, Jeanne ...

Well, actually there is a whole sequence where she realizes she is in love, and describes the same symptoms as Vani in a cheerful, positive way to two flabbergasted Dominique and Luca; but I felt like the above panel was the most culturally relevant.

The point is, now that the feelings are real, Jeanne is the most confident and forward of the two. And this is a pretty great thing for her: as a bourreau, she didn't think love would have played a part in her life; she felt that she was just a tool, but not now, she has realized that she can love and be loved, and this makes her happy and confident. As Dominique observes, she shreds the shyness and insecurity that circumstances had forced on her, and returns to her original, cheerful personality; you can't take your eyes off her.

Still, in a following chapter, she has that little fantasy of a classic fairytale with herself and Vani in the protagonist roles. While it's a very cute and funny scene, it highlights something that Dominique too noticed: she is very black-and-white about Vanitas. She has gone from absolutely loathing him (with good reason!) to absolutely idealizing him (again, he finally acted with real kindness and selflessness towards her, but she doesn't even recognize how awful he was towards her at the start).

This would mean a fair share of problems with any normal person, as nobody is completely horrible or completely good, but with a walking bundle of trauma, contrasting feelings and self-loathing as Vanitas? It's probably a recipe for a disaster.

So! All in all, I admit I really like this couple. I like the possibilities of self-discovery each of them represents for the other: for Vanitas, to realize that his life isn't fixated by whatever happened in his past and that he can have positive relationships with people, and that he can amend his mistakes and receive forgiveness; for Jeanne, to fully experience positive emotions, and acquire a more balanced view of people and situations if her feelings survive the clash with Vanitas's failings.

... that was, before the disaster that was chapter 50. Jeanne has a very good relationship with Dominique, too; she was worried about her, and is likely investigating her disappearence, especially because Luca called specifically for her when he found out about it.

Remember? The same Dominique Vanitas would be willing to let be killed in order to protect his own memories, and even insulted in front of Noé? If Jeanne arrives on the scene, or finds out what happened, she will be forced to a new, decidedly less positive evaluation of Vanitas.

Misha is really being a wrecking ball on whatever halfway positive relationship his brother has, as if Vanitas himself wasn't enough to mess them up.

Thanks to anyone who bothered to read my ramblings!

#vnc #vanitas no carte #the case study of vanitas #vanitas no shuki #vnc vanitas #vnc meta #vnc analysis #vnc spoilers #vnc jeanne #elia's recaps

[ursie]

If you were in charge of a disability anthology for either Marvel or DC, which characters would you want featured in it?

Omg hmmm I’m not as well versed in marvel as I’d like nor can I name a huge amount of canon physically disabled characters but hmm

Marvel :

Rictor and Shatterstar disabled4disabled kings

Scott Summers also think it would be cool to touch on Logan’s chronic pain again

Xi’an

Robbie Reyes and his brother Gabe!!

I forget her civilian name but silhouette!!

If written well I think a Wanda and Billy story about mental health would be great if not written perfectly I would literally rather die than see someone slander them again for being mentally ill-in that same line if written well Lorna if not die

God a good Jeanne-Marie/Aurora one..literally could you imagine it I can’t but I can dream

Ok call me a clown but genuinely Tony is disabled and I would like to see that acknowledged sometimes

Forget his name but Thors disabled civ persona!! Along with Jane!!

Clint disabled king

Matt and Maya!!

Could we please have a story about Bucky being disabled in a mildly realistic way 😭

Pre serum Steve would be interesting too!!

Would be cute if one touched on Jubilees learning disabilities too!!

DC

I want to say Oracle Babs but genuinely it would be so distasteful doing a anthology book putting her in there and then going right back to erasing her disability like 😭

Dick!! Like as a physically disabled man but would be nice just seeing mental health and physical health being acknowledged in the batfam as like all of them are heavily coded if not canon disabled anyway

Specifically though autistic Cass and Bruce hours now

Vic!! Literally would love if comics remembered Cyborg is an allegory for a disabled man and that him being a cyborg is literally just prosthetics again 😭

Booster and Roy kings of having their disabilities erased for no reason

Ted!!

Joey and Rose disabled legends!! Slade dni

Honestly a ntt part would nice because literally everyone there..

Guy! I remember your canon brain damage king

Genuinely a Green Lanterns one that acknowledges everyone’s mental & physical issues and doesn’t just revolve Jessica because she’s not the first disabled gl like. 😭 would be nice

I think Aquaman should get to be sexy for a chapter and yes he’s a villain and Manta being Autistic was direct ableist correlation in the comics but also I would like to see it again

No thought pieces on Arkham I’m done w thought pieces on Arkham. These are comics it’s the genre yes they’re mentally Ill they’re also very much trying to kill everyone no Batman is not secretly ableist I do not want to see it it’s like complaining about child sidekicks is it good? No but this is the genre there are rules to it like villains be villains move on all of that said! Arkham poker night

Mia my girl I miss you

I think it would be nice to bring the Gotham academy back if only for Olive and Maps to have epic disabled moments for a couple pages

#Maps and Damian’s friendship was just autistic solitary #asks #anon #it’s disabled time <3

[switch]

Out of curiosity , if , let’s say, Vlad got a singularity focused on him, what would you like to see in it?

wah, what wouldnt i want to see… at this point i take anything that’s actually in character…

just him getting focused on in anything would be big…. pretty sure he’s the only apoc servant at this point who hasn’t been a main character in an event or story chapter… well, fgo’s new servant output is in hell forever now, so maybe there’s more hope for older servants like vlad to get content…

anyway, hm, i don’t really have any coherent ideas so much as individual “stuff that i feel like is missing from his depiction so far.” it’d be nice to see vlad’s full on dracula form show up in fgo (and hopefully clear up some of the “why he look the same if LoD active” confusion), though there’d probably be some weird logistics with what design they’d use. they could really afford to go into more detail about the specifics of his vampirism. we still don’t even, like, technically know if he has to drink blood, what happens if he doesn’t, where he gets it if he does, etc.

at this point i’d also want to see some call backs to certain parts of his characterization in the apocrypha LN, (the concept that he performs emotions, the emotions he does feel being described physically, how he views enemies, the episode he had at jeanne, that’d he’d be inclined to instakill someone for saying someone else should be in charge, him getting into it over religion, etc etc.) this is all stuff that was in narration text and/or was outright cut from the adaptations so i worry that it risks getting forgotten about in his fgo character entirely. at least something to introduce these parts of him to people who wisely didn’t read the LN.

fate’s also pretty much entirely skimmed over vlad’s uhhhhh eventful childhood, aside from the absolute briefest possible mention of what happened to his immediate family (>dad killed >brother killed >went to war against other brother >refuse to elaborate >leave), but it’s never really acknowledged or explored the situation they were in at the time. i get that vlad is generally the type to move on and not regret things, but some reflections on that or on his feelings about his brother nowadays would still be interesting…. at least depending on what fate would do with it anyway (even moriarty got to have a childhood backstory moment……)

it could also address what the fuck happened with his summoning in orleans since neither of the orleans manga felt like it!

i’d also like to see vlad actually get to fucking kill any named character for once. the only person he’s ever killed in fate that wasn’t an unnamed random or a trash mob was darnic that one time. i know power levels are made up and don’t matter but it’s so disappointing reading over and over again about how powerful he is and then he never gets to kill anyone or win any fights that matter… plus i miss fucked up scary vlad….

also i’m biased as ever but of course i would want moriarty to be there somewhere too lol, i still really want a fully in-character vlad moriarty conversation to happen……. would love to see the purely accidental similarities in their situations acknowledged at all………

i also would like to see vlad strongly implying he has feelings for the protagonist again but as we all know it is illegal for male characters to do that outside of My Room

agh, but really though, it’s even mentioned in his character profile how riled up he can get if he gets an actually really loyal master, please show more of that… his recent appearances in events haven’t really had any interactions with mc….

#switch speaks #fate #vlad

[vnckocurzyca]

New chapter new analysis

I’m publishing it one more time because it didnt show in tags for some reason???

I put it under “read more” so maybe now.

I finally read translation so I can finally write something about the new chapter. I know people’s strong feelings towards it and I think it’s totally understandable huh

I, personally, liked this chapter even if I think it was creepy as fuck. But I know Jun’s work and how she writes her stories and I know that she purposely made it really uncomfortable. I think this chapter was made to be upsetting because what happened during it was kinda important?

Warning; LONG POST (contains spoilers to new chapter)

First thing - Noe was forced to see some Vanitas’s memories. Of course by Misha eyes, but still it’s Vanis past. And as we know already, Vanitas REALLY didn’t want Noe to know about anything his past-related. He even threated him that he would kill you if Noe would someday try to drink his blood. So it’s opening for totally new conflict. We have two options

Vanitas would come to place and see Noe drinking Mishas blood and it would be horrible

Vanitas wouldn’t see it and Noe would live in sting of remorse and we know how emotional Noe is and it would be also horrible. And this option also has 2 options

Noe would finally tell Vani that he drank Mishas blood and it would be horrible

Misha would tell Vanitas that Noe drank his blood and it also would be horrible

When Noe started drinking Mishas blood he walked into a trap and there is no escape now. Vanitas is going to KNOW this and its going to be a problem, because knowing Vanis past, memories and emotions was a borderline in their relationship - Noe didn’t get a permission to step over it. And now he just... steped, because of Mishas blackmail.

Also the whole scene was made to be creepy - we can clearly see that Noe is distraught and scared and uncomfortable. We can hear his thoughts, we can see his terrified face

He is terrified for A LOT of reasons. A lot.

He is scared of Domis life. He don’t know what is going on with her and she is unconscious and she can literally DIE. Domi is his best friend, his childhood friend and nearly all family he has left. Domi is the closest person to him and he can’t just lose her like he lost Louis.

He DON’T WANT to read Vanitas’s past without his permission and knowledge. Its awful, it’s non consensual and non-con it’s something Noe hates, because, even if he would like to know Vani’s past (what he said back before Gevaudan arc) he don’t want to know it without Vanis consenst and he didn’t push. And now he is forced to see them, to betray Vani’s trust.He, probably, hates himself thanks to it.

He is blackmailed, bullied and intimidated which is bad on it’s own. He has absolutely NO CONTROL over a situation, he is absolutely subordinated and can’t do anything to change his situation. It’s scary.

He is forced to drink blood, which is a really intimate and delicate activity for him. He hates being forced to drink blood and forcing to drink blood, and, additionaly, Misha is a kid. Or, at least, he look like a kid (it’s hard to say his age for sure and how many years their past with Moreau happened). It’s gross, creepy and weird and Noe feels it. We can see him backing away from a fucking kid.

Jun did it purposely. Combine all of it, to made the horror moment for him, probably to break him in front o Misha.

The running thing in Vanitas no Carte is motif of Noe not having any control over anything in his life (even without his noticing). Noe never had a control over anything.

He didn’t have a control over his life during childhood, ie when he was sold on auction

He didn’t have any control over Louis’s death and curse. He couldn’t do anything to save him or to save other kids back then. He could do nothing.

He don’t have any control in general - he was trained by the Teacher to be his pupil. Noe don’t even know how big control Grandpa de Sade has over him and his doings.

He didn’t have any control when Domi found him at Orloks. She just kidnapped him to Altus.

He don’t have any control over his relationship with Jeanne - anytime he wants to talk to her or about her he is interuptted.

He didn’t want his blood be sucked by Ruthven and he didn’t want to Swear.

He don’t have any control now. He didn’t wanted to know Vanis past non consensualy, he didn’t wanted to drink Mishad blood, he don’t want to see Domi in this situation.

It’s a writing continuity. We are being told how little control Noe has over his (and others) life. It’s becaming a plot point. MochiJun knows what she is doing. She purposely made the whole chapter creepy and unsettling. She need us to know that what is happening right now is wrong - not only drinking blood from a 1/4 naked kid, but also the rest. Everything. That this chapter is traumatic - we literally touched Noes trauma, Domis trauma and Mishas trauma over a few pages and panels:

Dominique - we can see how she reacted to Louis death, how she wanted to make Noe feels better, why she changed her hairstyle and outfit, how she hated herself because it was her brother who died, not her. We can see it now - she is depressed, she hatees herself and would prefer to die over Louis. She was easy to catch for Misha.

Noe - we can see that he can do anything for Domi because she is his last friend, his family, last thing (person) he has. He can’t lose her, he is desperate and traumatized over Louis death so he can do anything, even suck Mishas blood and know Vanis past even if he hates it and its wrong for him.

Misha - we can see thanks to his flashbacks that it was hinted he was (if I undertand english correctly, sorry, it’s not my first language) se*//ually abused as a child. He thought his mother was possesed by devil, it was traumatizing on it’s own, but he was also dressed as a girl, physically abused and hit by his mother and used during her “sessions” with clients. Then he was kidnapped by Moreau who, probably, was experimenting on him just like on Vanitas - so Misha was abused again. And later Vanitas killed “father” what also traumatized him. His behaviour towards Noe it’s not really that suprising - its horrible and sad and heartbreaking knowing why Misha is that way, but its logical. It has sense. It’s just how his trauma made him.

Sooo do I think what happened in the chapter was good or okay? No. It was creepy and made me feel sick. But do I think Jun is bad for making it this way? No. I think her work is great, because she actually did planned it logically. She delivered TONS OF INFORMATIONS by only one chapter. Tons, about a lot of characters - Misha, Vanitas, Noe, Dominique, even Roland (he know Misha is one thing, but, also, why he was so beaten up? What happened my man? Who hurted you?) It wasn’t just gross pedo-fanservice some people accused it to be. (even if it was gross anyway och my gos this scene with Misha standing over Noe was frightening, I was just as scared as Noe, I felt like I was in his place and I was looking at Misha)

Also! I’m pretty sure one of the reason for Misha undressing his collar a little bit was for us (and maybe Noe too) to see his possesion mark on his arm. For some reason we, as an audience, need to know this.

But! We also get a lot of different informations -

Domi is a royal guard and is working in castle, so she probably knew Luca before and had contact with him or some other royal people. i think it’s interesting that she worked at castleas a royal guard.

Luca probably likes Domi and was worried about her. Also after knowing she is missing he decided to took direct actions, he is not passive.

Misha has Vanitas of the Blue Moon’s possesion mark on his hand. It’s really interesting, especially when we know that its his prosthetic arm. Somebody tried to cut his arm with a possesion mark and I bet it was Vanitas or Misha himself. Yet it DIDN’T work, mark of possesion is still here, above his prosthetic.

Noe “don’t know anything about Vanitas”. It was an important sentence. It was something that Noe need to know narratively speaking. It’s pushing the story forward, because Noe’s and Vani’s relationship is the core of the story. It was literally told in the first chapter that it’s a story about their journey.

Misha had a lot of bruises on his whole body after he was rescued. We knew he was beaten, but we could also see it’s evidence.

Mishas face when Noe drank his blood was similar to his mother face when a vampire drank his blood. It wasn’t accidental, we were shown his trauma and how it’s affected him.

Next thing I noticed:

In this panel, Misha looks A LOT like Vanitas. Og course he has child features and chubbier face, he has white(?) hair and eyelashes ets, but his mimic, his gaze, how one of his eyes is covered by hair and his words. Its literally how Vanitas’s panel would be draw. It’s really Vanitaish.

We also got some questions, like:

What happened to Misha and how he lost his hand?

What Luca ordered Jeanne? (probably to check out real Paris and maybe find Domi or Noe)

Why Mishas mark of possesions was so important for us to know?

Is that Roland met Misha in the past important?

Why was Roland so beaten up?

There was also one more thing. Jun is operating in her story not only by making parallels betweend her characters (ie Teacher and VotBM, or Astolfo nad Vanitas, or Louis and Domi etc) but also contrasts. The biggest contrast motif on the story are probably Vanitas and Noe thanks to not only their history, but also their appearance, personality, design of their clothes, their height, their names (Vanitas being related to death and vanity, Noe being related to saving and something biblical etc). Their whole characters are made constrast. And so we got here:

Vanitas and Misha are not made parallels, theyre made contrast.

Misha is looking from the upside, Vanitas is looking from the above, Mishas hair is white, Vanitas hair is black, Vani has a shadow over his face, misha is lighted. Misha has white eyelashes, Vani has black. Misha looks calm an suprised, Vani looks stressed. Their whole “atmosphere” is different. Even if Misha is bruised in this panel he looks clean, even angelic, when Vanitas looks... bad, he has dark circles under eyes, wrinkled eyebrows, bandage etc. They’re made to contrast themselves, not to be compared to. It’s the next hint about their role in the story I suppose. That they’re not similar, they’re not the same and there is something basically different about their roles.

I would also like to write about shadow and light work in this chapter, but I’m just really tired right now, soo here it is! My analyze od the new chapter, or, at least, the most important parts of it (for me). I liked it in general, but it was... stressed and I was anxious about this chapter for the one whole day. But in general I think Jun did gods work with delivering informations she wanted to delivere.

#the case study of vanitas #vanitas no carte #vanitas no shuki #long post #vanitas #misha #dominique de sade #noe archiviste

[skayafair]

VnC Plot Theories and Questions

Here are some of my ideas and questions about the VnC plot. There’s going to be part 2, in which I’d like to explore the connections of VnC universe to the real one and how that affects the plot (spoiler: greatly). I’m relatively new to the fandom and don’t know if all those points have been already discussed so feel free to give me links and - discuss! That’s what this post is for, I’m dying to talk about all this!

SPOILERS UP TO CHAPER 51

- How long ago did the Babel incident happen? What century at least? Chloe was waiting in her castle for several hundreds of years. The 15-16th century, like the time when the real Paracelsus lived?

- Queen Faustina, Naenia, The Vampire of the Blue Moon, Jeanne.

What is exactly the vampire queen? Is she the first vampire of the crimson moon? Her power is endless, only her counselors have a succession (Luca and his predecessors). The queen honestly looks way more like a local goddess rather than an actual queen: she’s one and only, any vampire cherishes her like a deity and will go feral if someone’s impolite regarding her as if it was a heresy.

Is she even a ‘she’?

As far as I understand, Neania is a Malnomen of Queen Faustina, the queen who forgot herself and is acting upon her curse. Right now it’s her who distorts the names. However, there’s a question: the curse-bearers have happened way before the outbreak Vanitas is investigating atm, and as far as we know, the queen disappeared at the same time the outbreak occurred. So, who was distorting the names before Naenia? How long does she exist at all? Was Faustina cursed way before her disappearance but the symptoms were kept at bay until the council couldn’t manage it anymore? According to the fairytale, the curses are Luna’s fault but we never saw them doing any of this. Unless they have sort of a split personality or a curse themselves?

As we know, Luna is neither male nor female (which made me think of Bathomet but I’ll get to it later), they didn’t know who and what they were, until they did and regretted it dearly. We also know Noe thinks the Queen and Luna look very much alike. And when we saw the queen’s hand atop of her blanket in her bedroom while Luka was by her side, that hand was pitch black and looked just like the VotBM one.

That was the first part of the mystery.

The second part is that the Queen looked very young when her physical form stabilized. 

We know she was tried to get rid of - her body was demolished and her spirit (???) - or whatever was left - became Naenia. I’m not sure whether Naenia is corporeal or not, but she becomes one when stabilized and all this time she is in such a severe pain that she doesn’t want to get back to this world. She doesn’t want to remember herself and the way she died.

Why exactly was she killed?

Anyway, she must not be brought back at any cost either. Vanitas mentioned that if she comes back, there won’t be neither a vampire nor a human to overcome her. Besides, all the vampires felt when she reappeared. Did they feel her dying?

I wonder if she’s some sort of a bee queen. (I hope not, I really got enough of that with the Pandemonium in Chrono Crusade.)

However, whe know exactly who killed her: Ruthven, Veronica de Sade and Luca’s older brother (who seemed to play an important role in this mission and bore the most of the backfire, and I wonder why the safest place for Luka is beside him now?). Probably all other members of the council took their part in this, too. 

So the Queen is not to be brought back, but Lord Ruthven tries to bring SOME queen into this world anyway. Someone with long fair hair just like hers is growing in a glass vessel at his lab. 

And, as we know, Jeanne also got out of some glass vessel just like this one. And she had very long fair hair, too. I wonder why didn’t anyone there notice the similarities… how often do the vampires see their queen again? 

Ruthven keeps Jeanne within his sight and even saved her from being executed when everyone wanted to. He’s obviously trying to use her, but in what way?

To cut the long story short, I think there was smth terribly wrong with Faustina - so wrong they had to kill her or at least weaken her as much as possible. But the vampires worship her like a Goddess, so she had to be present one way or another, the council couldn’t keep what happened to her a secret forever. So they needed a replacement, and that’s what Ruthven is working on. A clone? That explains his sponsorship of Dr. Moreau’s experiments.

And Jeanne’s one of the failed ones. Or is she? Maybe she was let out on purpose?

- What did Ruthven teach his students? He honestly looked more like a messiah in a cult rather than a scientist and a teacher.

- What order did he give to Jeanne?

- Looks like his ‘curses’ orders cause a bloodthirst just like Naenia’s ones, although way weaker. Which makes me wonder: does any strong vampire have an ability for such curses? If so, why just the VotBM was hated and feared for it? And how old is Ruthven?

- Where did the VotBM fairytale come from? Who created it? Ruthven reminds me of Jack Vessalius a lot by his place in the plot (remember how Jack fabricated the prophecy?). He’s everyone’s hero and a very shady person in reality. He used to have the best intentions and beliefs, like Noe, and was disappointed in them - however, this didn’t stop him from finishing the war between the humanity and the vampires and bringing peace to them. He looks like someone who’ll do everything and anything for what he believes in and sets as his aim, and I wonder what the aim is. I can’t help thinking it’s something grand and ‘for everyone’s sake’ in his POV but can play out pretty terrible for actual people. I think he cares for the vampires - and maybe for the humanity as well - but may go too far in it and forget his morals (he already had to in order to get to the top of society and gain some power).

- I strongly suspect Naenia aka Faustina, the Teacher and Luna are closely connected. In what way though? I wonder if Paracelsus is going to turn out to be a composite image after all.

- Also I see the reflection of those three in Jeanne, Noe and Vanitas and that makes me think back to the Sablier and the Riverra’s trios.

- Vampire rampages.  Yes, the vampires were ostracized and feared when the Babel has just happened, later there was the hunt and a war. BUT. They’re long over. There’s Lord Orloc to control vamps now, and humans consider them a fairytale. 

Astolpho and Vanitas’ families were killed no more than about a decade ago though. And there wasn’t just one crazy cursebearer - no, according to the fate of Astolpho’s sister, there was an organized group of vamps sane enough to keep their ‘food’ alive for some time. They were laughing and talking. They behaved like people - not like mad beasts. What were those vampires then? 

- What happened on THAT DAY?

- What happened to Michael and who’s his err supporter? Ruthven again? Or Marquis Machina, judging by Michael’s hand?

- What is Charlatan? Looks like this isn't just Naenia. Does its carnival exist in reality or is it just an illusion in the victim’s head since it comes and goes so fast and seemingly out of nowhere?

- Why did the Teacher need Noe? What role is set for the Archiviste?

- Where did the Archiviste go? Were they all killed? Why and by whom?

- I have a feeling in the end someone will try to bring the world to its natural order and either lock or erase the world of formulas, so that there are no vampires anymore, everyone’s back to being human. And someone’s going to be left in that locked world - Vanitas. Remember he has to be touching a vampire to cross between the worlds and Noe can’t forgive himself for the fact that he didn't grab Vanitas’ hand? (I’ll repeat as much as I have to - I don’t believe he’ll settle with this when his whole ark is “I can’t save anyone I want to save, I can’t change anything”. Unless… but later.)

- Why are Vanitas’ memories forbidden to be read? Is it because they’re Lunas as well and they knew something crucial about the world order? Did Ruthven try to get to the same knowledge through Faustina? He also needed Chloe’s world changing machine - why when he’s such a strong vampire himself? How much does he want to change in the world if his power alone is not enough? Is it the queen - or the world itself?

#vanitas no carte #vanitas no shuki #the memoirs of vanitas #the case study of vanitas

[jingyismom]

got tagged by the wonderful @mylastbraincql to post 10 Things About Myself, which, are there even 10 things other than cql and writing fanfiction??? let’s find out

1. i don’t want to be one of those people who are like ~i love languages~ but...i do. oops. i’m only fluent in english and french (my college degree), but i’ve put work into at least the basics of...well. this is under a cut so let’s just go: latin (a whole minor’s worth), greek (classical and modern), mandarin, american sign language, spanish, german, sanskrit, and arabic. i particularly love medieval french. i kind of wanted to be a linguist but academia is a hellscape, so i’m just a hobbyist language learner and that’s pretty fun. i need to really work on my spanish and start korean next, but right now my brain is deep in mandarin mode (thanks c-dramas).

2. i wish i had the tenacity and drive to be a musician. i love playing music, my mom started teaching me when i was 4 so i should be super good right? wrong. i still play piano like a 4yo. string bass is my ~instrument but it’s been years since i played it seriously. i am mediocre at guitar and an enthusiastic but unstudied singer. maybe some day i’ll put real work in again but for now that executive dysfunction’s a real bitch, so even thought i am a Music Person, singing in the car is about as wild as i get.

3. i was a substitute teacher for 4...5? years. 4 years of regular substituting here after 1 year of working as a language assistant/substitute english teacher in france. teaching is excellent fun and i love it dearly but the field of education is currently pretty soul-crushing in the US, so i have been trying to figure out what...to do.

4. the town where i lived in france was where jeanne d’arc was captured (i was already a huge fan, and getting to kneel where she prayed her last free prayer was...something. i’m not even religious), and one town over from pierrefonds, the castle where they shot bbc’s merlin. alas, they had just finished shooting the final season when i got there. but it really does Look Like That. once, when i was bringing some friends to see it, we missed our stop and got off the bus at a countryside cemetery (i am a goth, this is my jam), and walked back to pierrefonds, since it was a sunny day. until it started hailing. we took refuge in a spooky, empty church from the 1100s and got to explore some of its catacombs and reliquary. it was an absolutely perfect day.

5. i have never not been a Big Fan of something. i have an entire shelf of Tolkien volumes that has lived in my room since the 6th grade. i used to go to warped tour and san diego comic con every year. i have slept on the sidewalk in line for things...many, many times. but this is somehow the first time i’m...trying to participate in the fan community? trying to contribute and talk to people? it’s wildly nerve-wracking but also SO rewarding because everyone? is so? nice??? i love you all

6. i’m a distant cousin of George Gordon, Lord Byron, and EXCEEDINGLY proud of this fact. he was so ridiculous, and stupid, and marvelous, and queer. sometimes i’m like, it couldn’t have been wilde? or shakespeare? but i do love my horrible cousin. it was shocking studying in athens where they have actual monuments and museum exhibits dedicated to him...i was like...this guy? this drug-addled sex addict? okay...okay, good for you, cuz.

7. really all i want is to make people laugh. i feel like i come across weirdly stiff on the internet, and i have apparently horribly intimidating vibes with new people, but really...i am basically just jack black. i don’t mean that positively or negatively it is just neutrally true. i am a clown.

8. i wish i had cool physical skills like martial arts or dance or even a sport but...my body is...uncooperative. i am not necessarily clumsy or uncoordinated i am just Too Tired. oh, and also i have a funky little arm birth defect which is mostly unnoticeable, just makes me a bit awkward and painful. instead i do grandma things like knitting and sewing, which are cool in their own way. it’s very satisfying to make something with your hands. i’ve made an entire (simple) ren faire costume and edwardian ballgown, as well as lots of various odds and ends. oh and i’m pretty good at makeup! i did wedding makeup for a friend, and not in a “wedding of questionable taste” kind of way. i did lots of research and several practice runs and it was all a very classy vintage affair.

9. if you ask me to pick between books and movies i Cannot. i just...love stories. i love seeing them and hearing them and reading them and telling them. there’s nothing better or more important than stories. whether it’s pacific rim or hamlet, philadelphia story or dogsbody, i cannot live without it.

10. i used to work as a street character at a renaissance faire. please do not hold this against me. if you want some ABSOLUTELY WILD stories (”baaa means no”), just ask

this was wildly difficult and i feel like it swings wildly from depressing and self-effacing to ridiculous bragging but i would like to see my mutuals do it anyway! i’m just gonna randomly tag @valarinde @milkcrates @universesvisiting @cendiar @habibinasir @fapamir if you want a fun little distraction but seriously if you see this and want to do it, i tagged you! you’re tagged!

#tag game #this extremely hard. i do not know if any of this is at all interesting or meaningful #i should have just told funny embarrassing stories probably. oh well #i did not get into family stuff because family is Messy and Not Fun For Parties but i'm by no means opposed to talking about it #if you have any questions about anything #OR if you would like help with learning anything i have mentioned that i have some knowledge of #OR if you would like me to tell fun stories about crazy adventures at faerie festivals or comic cons #or about wild celebrity sightings #or about historical/literary figures and events #JUST ASK! #you want book/movie recs? i'm here #please make use of my largely useless knowledge #sorry i'm such a shakespeare simp....ok not really sorry #i simply find him hilarious #not cql-related #but i feel like many of these things contribute to my enjoyment of cql

[jerrylewis-thekid]

I will try to be as short as possible. For several reasons I feel very close to Jerry Lewis: I am an only child, I saw little of my parents because of their work and, as a child, I played with my imaginary friend the "Fairy of the house". I talked to her and played hide and seek with her. I was raised by my maternal grandparents who lived with us. My grandmother I called her "mom". She died when I was 9. My grandfather died when I was 17. My mother died ten months. After that time, I took heavy tranquilizers to sleep, no longer have scary nightmares and calm anxiety. She was practically a legalized junkie. After about a year I found the strength to throw those crap drops in the trash and I never picked up again. My damned sensitivity has always made things difficult for me. Who is NOT an only child cannot understand what it means to be one. ******** The same morning that, finally, I had the strength to leave my first boyfriend, violent with me both psychologically and physically, I asked a girl next door if I could go out with them. She accepted. Maria (false name) I met her two days later. Right from the start we found each other nice and she began to prefer me to the other three girls (we were a group of 5 girls all single). She was only four years older than me but dressed a bit "like a married woman" as we say. In short, he seemed much older than me. He had green eyes and naturally curly dark hair. I am also brunette but with straight hair (in those days), iridescent gray - blue eyes and, not being very tall, unfortunately I have always shown less years than I am. I followed fashion more than her. I was 25 (but everyone gave me a maximum of 18), she was 29. We bonded immediately, only after a few weeks we went out more often just the two of us leaving the others at home. At the time I was much happier than now, I've always liked to laugh, joke, say funny things, make fun of everything. We were laughing all the time. Gradually she and I began to look a little like each other ... She cut her hair short making it almost straight. I told her not to because her curly hair was beautiful but she didn't take suggestions. He always did what she wanted. I cut my hair into a medium short bob by curling it with a perm or a hair curling iron. In short, I styled them as were his naturals. Without agreeing we often went out dressed in the same colors. Only the style remained different, she never wanted to adapt to fashions. I've never seen her in black sheer stockings and high-heeled pumps. I always wore those. The people in the village were now starting to consider us sisters. When someone we knew met us on separate streets (in the morning when we were doing our errands around the house) he asked her "And where did you leave Artemisia?". Of course, the same thing happened to me too. For the country we always had to be together. In five years of friendship we have never shook hands, we have not kissed my cheek even at Christmas or their respective birthdays. It was just a "best wishes!". Stop. But we liked being in the company of the other. We practically isolated ourselves from the other three and only the two of us were going out. We walked in the public garden, like everyone else, happy hour and similar things were not used in those days. She started inviting me to her house to attend the Christmas Eve dinner and, in the summer she would take me with her and her family (she had a sister, two brothers and nephews) on day trips. I felt that I had found a family and above all that I had found a sister. She began a troubled relationship with a boyfriend, her former friend. One who liked women a lot. It was a story he wanted to keep secret. I cried with her every time she was sad for him, I was happy for her when, the day after a meeting with him, her eyes were sparkling. I didn't need her to tell me that the evening had gone well, I just had to look at her. I understood when she was worried, when she was angry, when she was peaceful. I just had to look at it, it was an open book. One day she asked me if I could be her

assistant. She had been a catechist for 15 years (we are Catholics), she was left alone and needed help. I accepted mostly to do her a favor, I was not so convinced. But I started to like dealing with catechetical children, after all, I always felt like a 10-year-old girl. But Maria did catechism in a very serious way, she never smiled at the children ... She had a friend who was a few years older than her, she was a notary and she was well known and well liked in the village. In my country if you don't have a degree you are nobody. She was already there before me. One day, indeed a bad day, this woman, whom I call Jeanne ... was designated as president of the catechetical group. She was an atheist but evidently this was of little importance. Jeanne immediately chose Maria as her right hand, she became the secretary of the group. And it began to change. With me. We spent less and less time together. Those few times that we went out, Jeanne, Maria and I, I began to discover a Maria that I did not know. The two of them literally made fun of each of the group's catechists, their actions, their families. With a nastiness never seen before. Maria and I used to keep gossip about other people out of our laughter when we went out. I've always hated gossip. But with Jeanna Maria it changed. And it was starting to change with me. Everything I said or did bothered her, she got really angry with me. One afternoon I called her asking if she wanted to go out (we hadn't seen each other for a week) she replied that she had a headache. Ok, I got dressed and went out anyway to go to the pharmacy and take a walk anyway. It was a summer afternoon, a real shame to stay indoors. On the way I met them. I said nothing, I stopped for a few seconds, looked at Maria and she immediately told me, as if to justify herself "Jeanne wanted to talk to me, it was important!" I greeted them without saying anything and went home crying. Okay, do you want to go out with her? Tell me. But don't lie to me, I thought. I can't stand lies. Since then he never asked me to go out all three together. She and I saw each other less and less and when we saw each other she no longer told me anything as she did before. We no longer talked to each other and above all we no longer laughed together. Once I asked her why she had changed with me and she, still in that angry tone of hers, told me that now she felt like an important person, because Jeanne had asked her to help her. That is ... "do you feel important because you ONLY have to pass books, documents and video tapes to the catechists for meetings with the children?" Because that was his job. "Sure" she replied. "She is a notary and she chose me. You don't even have a diploma." "Maria" I said to her, "look, you also don't have a diploma and I remind you that I left school only after my mother's death to stay close to my father". She replied "Here, now you are starting to blame me for everything I have done for you (what ??), I have given you more affection than you ever had from anyone and now you take advantage of it !!". And if he went, he left me on the street. I was making her understand not to leave me alone, to continue being what we had always been and she was accusing me of wanting to take advantage of it. And what about? She did not show up for more than two weeks until the Sunday of the swearing of the catechists in church arrived, which marks the beginning of the catechetical year. It was mid-September. I didn't call her in those two weeks because I was hoping she would calm down. When he got angry with people he didn't accept any kind of clarification. That Sunday morning I didn't want to go to church, I was morally down but I felt that I had to do my duty as assistant catechist. I went to mass. Halfway through mass the rite began. Catechists and assistants were called one at a time to the altar for the oath. When they got to us they called Maria but not me. They passed on calling the next catechists. The church was crammed with children and their mothers who clearly knew both Maria and me.

She walked towards the altar, my heart was in my mouth. My children asked me "Artemisia you are not going?" with a surprised expression on his face. I just replied "I don't know children, maybe there has been a mistake". But I knew it wasn't like that. When she went back to the pew I continued to say nothing to her, she would have been angry with me in church in front of everyone. When the mass was over and we left the church, I approached her, remaining calm and, trying to smile at her in the best possible way, I asked her "Maria what happened, why didn't they call me?". As I expected she got angry, and almost screaming (we were in front of a bar full of people inside and outside) said that I hadn't gone to catechism in those 20 days "and this morning you showed up all dressed up and elegant in church just to be seen by people! ! ". I was stunned ... "Maria didn't tell me I had to come to catechism, I knew that catechism would begin after today's mass!". She said nothing, she went away leaving me once again alone in the street. I was sure he was going to Jeanne's house. I was not wrong. She went into her house, soon after I rang the bell and I too went upstairs. As soon as Maria saw me, she told me a whole series of things that I don't even remember anymore and left all angry. I sat down and burst into tears. Jeanne asked me what had happened. I told her everything. She told me I was wrong to follow her (she was right, I realized later) but added to let her go. "Let things settle", she told me, "give it time." "I'll talk to her and let you know." I'm still waiting. Anyone who knew Maria and me (practically more than half the country) when she asked me what had happened and why she and I had argued (in my small town you don't need gossip newspapers, things are known within 24 hours at most) I always replied "destiny wanted it like this". If I wanted to try to recover something, I knew I had to shut up about everything. Also because she was the best known in town. His father and brother had been in politics for years and everyone knew them. I stayed at home most of the winter. I had immense anger inside me. If I had a gun I would have gone out on the street and started shooting randomly, I wanted to physically harm people. I called the other three girls asking if I could go out with them but I quickly realized it was better to stay at home. The funny jokes I had always said had turned into razors. I offended everyone. Not being able to speak with Maria I treated badly anyone who was in contact with me. I didn't go out with anyone anymore. I locked myself in my shell spending time at home reading, thank God, there was the Internet and blogs. I just wanted to understand WHAT I DID HER. What was I wrong about. Meanwhile, one Sunday morning, in the square, I saw Maria talking to a boy I liked at that time and she knew it. After about ten days I saw this guy in church, he came up and said "I heard you go around saying that I like you (huh ??), you must know that you don't. I like another girl and you know why I like her? she is beautiful!". He laughed and walked away. What Maria said to her to make him say those words I'll never know. The whole winter passed. The whole following summer passed, September returned. I get a phone call, she was the oldest catechist in the group, 65 on paper, ten in the head. I've always loved her since I met her. I call her Tiziana. He told me he wanted to talk to me. I went to his house. She wanted me to be her assistant "I know that you and Maria have quarreled. She is speaking ill of you with all the catechists but I have learned to know you and I know that you are not as she describes you. I would like you with me. Maybe you will also find the way to make peace but you have to stay in the catechetical group ". I asked her what the hell Maria was saying about me. He replied "you better not know". I took some time to decide and finally accepted. Doing catechism with Tiziana was wonderful, it made me understand the value of a laugh. Every encounter with the children was fun and laughter. I

felt more relieved. And more positive. Unfortunately, at the meetings with the group leader and the other catechists, Maria continued to avoid me. Jeanne had been relieved of her post because one evening she had appeared at the church, on the altar, dressed in semi-transparent leopard-print leggings from which black splips could be glimpsed. And with a short shirt that left nothing to the imagination. You can dress however you want when you are elsewhere but if you are in a place of worship you have to respect that place, no matter what place of worship it is. May returned. The usual annual spiritual retreat of the catechists returned. One weekend he closed in a hostel talking about faith and peace in the world. On paper. I decided to go, always with the secret hope of finding a chance to talk to her alone. On the morning of the second day I was going to the reading room. I passed a room with the door open, someone was talking. I immediately recognized Maria's voice, her back was to me (I was standing at the door of the room I was about to enter), she was talking to two other catechists "Artemisia, leave her alone, she's AN UGLY SUBJECT". So he said, a bad subject. I was not a person or animal ... no, a subject. Inanimate. One of the two women saw me, motioned to Maria who turned around, her now usual look full of hatred directed at me appeared in her eyes, she screamed "what are you doing spying on? Go away!". I ran away, took refuge in the nearby chapel, luckily it was empty. I was crying. Finally in the evening I returned home. In the following September I told Tiziana that I no longer wanted to continue with her, I could no longer bear to see Maria. I had to stay away from her as much as possible. Later, I sometimes met her in the municipal villa. Me with other friends, she with another friend. When we met, she always looked down. But I no longer saw her smile. I lost that smile too. 23 years have passed since then. After years I have found a truly sincere friend. She is married but takes the time to go out with me. He is the same age as Maria but looks much much older. More than a sister, it reminds me of a mother. She gives me many small gifts, she also likes to photograph, before the covid we often went out to photograph, spending half days together. She is of Neapolitan origin, therefore cheerful and chatty like all Neapolitans. I feel good with her. He is always there when he "feels" that I need support. In July last year I moved here where she lives, leaving a country too full of bad memories. I know with absolute certainty that I will always be able to count on her. Unfortunately I can't love her. I can not anymore. I feel good with her when we see each other but I don't feel the need, almost physical, of her company as it happened with Maria. And it hurts me. But the betrayed trust does this damage. I don't know why I decided to write this, the story of Dean and Jerry awakened memories that I thought were buried. Here I can write it, on Facebook no. His two brothers still follow me, when they met me on the street (they or their wives) they always greeted me asking how I was. Once one of them gave me a historical book he had written about the town where I lived until last year. Writes from God! He invited me to his house, his wife offered me coffee and sweets, he gave me the book, I wanted to pay for it but he didn't. Nobody took the argument of the fight. I greeted them and left. @zivasanxiety @felinesetmilktea @prolen @jerrylevitch @solsikkepop Something happened once ... "paranormal" ... I am orphaned of a mother, she is orphaned of a father. I don't know whether to write it, I don't want you to think I'm crazy ...

#obviously many other things have happened but it would have turned out to be half a novel. I wrote what I thought was most important. #I will write the same post in Italian and English. I fear that some passages in Italian may change in the translation.

[bemused-writer]

Given the most recent romantic developments, on what level do you think the feelings between VanitasxNoé are compared to VanitasxJeanne? How could the attraction Vanitas has for Jeanne be different from the one he has for Noé?

Okay, so, for this answer I’m going to be working under two assumptions that may or may not prove to be true in the future, but bear with me: 1) Vanitas’s and Jeanne’s feelings for one another are true and 2) Noé and Vanitas will be the slowburn, end-game pairing of the series.

With those two assumptions out of the way, let’s compare and contrast the two relationships!

Vanitas/Jeanne are a really interesting look at what consent is, how misogyny can impact a relationship, and what happens when you actually change as a person for the better.

When Vanitas first forced a kiss on Jeanne, it wasn’t consensual and everyone who bore witness to it was repulsed. When Vanitas offered his blood to Jeanne at the Bal Masqué  and in the alleyway afterwards they were in “gray territory” regarding consent; Vanitas kind of had her backed in a corner, but she ultimately agreed to his deal.

Their date was when things really were consensual (the blood drinking was consensual and they’d both opted to be present), but the circumstances around their relationship were still deeply disturbed.

And now we have their latest interactions: Jeanne took Vanitas off guard and their consent was once again in the gray zone, but this time it was because of Jeanne, not Vanitas. She tackled him, drank his blood, and kissed him, all without a by-your-leave.

Vanitas and Jeanne keep giving and taking, but so far never as equals at the same time. The power dynamics between the two of them keep changing. At first, Vanitas had the power in the relationship. Now, I think it’s safe to say Jeanne does. Neither of them anticipated any of this and there’s been very little actual communication between them. It’s been heated, passionate, spontaneous. Frankly, they don’t really know one another that well.

But are their feelings true? I would say yes, they’re true, but that doesn’t necessarily equate to a healthy relationship. Still, Vanitas definitely cares about Jeanne and he really does want to help her; he’s made her a few very important promises after all. He’s always found her physically attractive, but now that she’s asserted herself he realizes there’s more to her as a person than he originally thought.

For Jeanne’s part, she has admitted to thinking his blood tastes good and there’s the very practical truth that he’s a convenient outlet for her blood addiction. He’s also beginning to reveal a more honest side of himself and he’s helped her when she had no one else to turn to. All of that elicits powerful emotions and no doubt went a long way towards changing her initial impression of him.

But will they be able to stabilize their relationship? It certainly wouldn’t be easy and they’d both have to really commit to it. I could see them at least trying, but more likely I think they’re going to maintain this on-again-off-again relationship where they both grow to care about each other more and more but become more and more frustrated as they realize they don’t quite fit.

So, that’s my current take on Jeanne/Vanitas. What about Noé/Vanitas?

Their relationship has developed much more normally in comparison, though the circumstances surrounding that development are definitely strange. Let’s have a (relatively) brief overview.

Noé and Vanitas had a rocky start with Vanitas essentially stalking Noé about Paris and Noé flat-out saying he doesn’t like Vanitas all that much, but they wind up working together anyway. Furthermore, they work together extremely well. The first volume features a Vanitas that is exuberant and a bit manic. It’s notable that only starts to change in volume 2 when he realizes there’s more to Noé than he anticipated. Still, he continues to chase after him and whatever misgivings he may have about Noé‘s connections and ancestry appears to be swept under the rug. While we don’t actually get to see Vanitas’s thoughts on the matter, I think it’s fair to say he saw Noé as the solution to all his problems at first and then was forced to admit Noé was a vampire and a complicated being at that. In other words, a person.

After the Bal Masqué is when we see Noé really start to change how he views Vanitas. Before that, he saw Vanitas as a nuisance. Then he saw Vanitas as a savior that would resolve his past regrets. But after the Bal Masqué, Noé sees Vanitas as a person and that is what sets the stage for how they progress in the Catacombs arc.

The amount of bonding in the Catacombs arc is so numerous I couldn’t possibly hope to summarize it all here, so I’ll just mention a few important bits. Vanitas opens up to Noé quite a bit and gives him some insight into his history with vampires and then Dr. Moreau himself. They’re forced to rely on one another, to really know one another, just to survive. Afterwards, they quite literally lean on one another.

The Gévaudan arc separated them quite a bit, but at this point in the story it only serves to emphasize how much they’ve come to rely on one another. Vanitas does little else but worry over Noé in his own disgruntled fashion for the entire arc and is surprisingly gentle with him when they finally do reunite. It’s all very subtle, but very telling of their progress together. The fact that Noé saved Vanitas in the previous arc and Vanitas saves Noé in this one shows they have an equitable relationship; they need one another as equals.

Of course, their relationship isn’t without its own hurdles. Vanitas doesn’t tell Noé what he’s thinking most of the time, Noé doesn’t really understand Vanitas, but the difference is that, weirdly, they talk things out. Vanitas will spend more time trying to explain things to Noé than we’ve seen him do with anyone else and Noé spends a great deal of time analyzing him and trying to understand his viewpoint. They’ve also been living with one another for a few months at least; that means they’ve been interacting in a day-to-day living scenario and have had no choice but to get to know each other very well.

Most of the positive changes we’ve seen in Vanitas are all because of Noé. As for Noé, Vanitas is making him open his mind to different possibilities than the ones he was already comfortable with.

But things are slow-going with these two because there wasn’t that same burst of passion that Vanitas had with Jeanne. They still haven’t even admitted, out loud, that they’re friends. The possibility of there being anything more likely hasn’t crossed either of their minds (probably; we don’t see Vanitas’s thoughts) and due to the era, in part, it would probably take a big “aha!” moment for it to seem obvious, especially for Noé. But, and this is important, we’ve been given indications that there’s something beneath the surface throughout all these arcs.

Noé has outright admitted to thinking Vanitas’s blood smells good, has asked him if he could drink it, has admitted he’s jealous Jeanne beat him to it, and has gone from trying to get rid of Vanitas to swearing to remain at his side. He even accepts Vanitas’s desire for revenge without judgment and changes his entire viewpoint on salvation because of him. It’s also because of Vanitas’s relationship with Jeanne that he’s started to even wonder what love is.

As for Vanitas, he’s more talkative with Noé, more forgiving of Noé, and more tolerant of Noé than he appears with most other people. The amount of lines Noé has crossed with Vanitas are numerous, and yet Vanitas not only keeps him at his side, he worries over him to boot. Dante has definitely noted the change in behavior and I’m sure he’s reaching his own conclusions about it.

So, if these two are going to have a relationship, it’s going to be a long ways off, but it will be built up in a slow, cohesive way that I think will be really interesting and will juxtapose the chaotic development of Vanitas/Jeanne.

However, Vanitas/Jeanne is very important for all three of these characters. Vanitas and Jeanne are going to learn a lot from each other: they’re going to learn what they’re looking for in a relationship, what to expect out of a partner, what demands to make, what consent is, and, quite possibly, what love is as well. Even if they don’t stay together, their relationship will have a lasting impact on both of them.

As for Noé, he isn’t going to piece together his feelings for Vanitas (if he has any) all on his own. He prefers to analyze things from afar before reaching any conclusions, so he needs to see other relationships to have any way of sorting out his own.

So, ultimately, the difference between Vanitas’s feelings for Jeanne and his feelings for Noé are that for the former it’s intense, passionate, and confusing, while with the latter it’s gradual, thoughtful, and unexpected.

#vanitas no carte #vnc meta #long post #Bemused's post #Anonymous

[miscellaneous-miraculous]

Painted Lady Chapter 6

Read on AO3 here

Adrien made his own nest on the couch while he waited for Marinette, complete with his Ladybug blanket, Marinette’s big cat pillow, and several textbooks. Alya and Nino had both gone to sleep figuring that Marinette would just want to crash whenever she got home, but Adrien wanted to get head start on studying anyways so he decided to wait up. The next two days were bound to be busy, akumas were unpredictable, and he needed all the time he could get studying for his Analog Electronics and Quantum Mechanics courses. The senior capstone for his business major would take up time, but from how his physics capstone had gone, it wouldn’t be too hard. His two lighter classes, one business and other a general requirement, had the later finals, so he wasn’t even going to think about them until after he got through the others – maybe some light skimming if he had time. But once those were over, he would be done. Part of him was still panicking that he didn’t know what he was going to do after school. There were a lot of things he wanted, things he liked, but they didn’t all connect easily.

The only constants were Marinette and the miraculous. Whatever Adrien did, he wanted to be by her side. For now, that meant staying in Paris and retrieving the butterfly miraculous from Painted Lady. He had already switched his major several times, entering as a business major per his father’s demands, then to switching physics, then going to a physics and business double major as he apprenticed with Tom and Sabine during the summer. “I guess flexibility is the next thing to consider?” Adrien said, voicing his thoughts to Plagg. “I have to be able to leave for akuma attacks and Marinette and I both want kids someday. I want to be able to spend as much time with them as I can.”

“I say you become a professional cheese maker,” Plagg said. “Then no one would think it was odd if you smelled like camembert all the time.”

“Very helpful,” Adrien rolled his eyes, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

"My wielders haven’t always been welcomed with open arms you know,” Plagg said. “A lot of them didn’t stay in one place for very long. This is a little new for me too.”

Adrien flopped back onto the couch, closing his textbook for the night. Rather than talking, Plagg curled up on his chest and purred softly. It still shocked him sometimes, to realize Plagg had the ability to purr. It shouldn’t have, given that Chat Noir had the ability and definitely didn’t come from Adrien, but Plagg didn’t do it often. He still remembered when Tikki had first seen him and Plagg interact for a while. She’d looked so happy, her eyes practically shinning. ‘Plagg isn’t usually very affectionate with his wielders, he must really trust you.’

The door clicked open and Marinette walked in, pulling him from his thoughts. Her hair was frazzled, a few scraps of fabric sticking to it with static electricity, and there was a large coffee stain on her shirt. “Hey,” she smiled, giving a limp wave. She kicked off her shoes, letting the bag she carried slide off her shoulder and onto the floor. “Alya and Nino asleep?”

“Yeah, they waited up for a while, but they didn’t want to fall asleep at your show.” Adrien closed his textbook. “Speaking of which, you look about ready to collapse, want me to carry you to bed?” He wiggled his eyebrows mischievously.

Marinette gave a soft laugh, rolling her eyes, “I think we’d both rather I showered first. I haven’t gotten one in three days.”

“We’ve seen worse,” Adrien shrugged. Garbage themed akumas didn’t exactly lend themselves to clean battles. “Your pajamas and towel are on the bed though, fresh from the wash.”

“It’s still Sunday, right?” Marinette asked, wide-eyed in a sudden state of panic. Wednesday was their usual laundry day.

Adrien laughed, “Yeah, I just did an extra load.” He knew Marinette loved the feeling of clothes fresh from the dyer, especially when she felt dirty.

“I love you so much right now.”

“It’s just laundry.” Adrien blushed, pushing his glasses back. It wasn’t really a big deal, but Marinette was looking at him like he’d just professed his eternal undying love for her (which he would in a heartbeat, but that wasn’t the point). Then again, tired Marinette would also sell her firstborn for a cup of coffee, so maybe she wasn’t the best judge.

Marinette walked over, squishing his face between her palms. He could see the dark circles under her eyes, and the tips of her fingers were covered in band-aids from poking herself with the needles. She only did that when she was really tied. “A literal angel on earth,” she said, her face serious, then she gave him a quick peck on the lips before heading into the bathroom.

Tikki flew out from the bag she had left by the door, looking happier than usual. “Plagg, it’s happening! She’d developed another power!”

“Already?”

“While she was working on her project – it was just, pure creation. I haven’t felt it in ages, Plagg, ages!” Tikki spun in the air. “I can’t wait to see which power it’ll be.”

“Marinette unlocked another power?” Adrien asked.

“Yes, I’m not sure if she noticed, she was so absorbed in her work, but whatever it is will manifest the next time she transforms. Oh, I can’t wait!”

“She got the luck last time, I bet you a slice of camembert this one’s the wings,” Plagg said.

“Not the shield?” Tikki asked. “That’s what Lành and Jeanne both got first, and Marinette reminds me most of them.”

“I thought the turtle was the shield?” Adrien said, his brow knotted.

“Eh, the Ladybug and Black Cat both have a version,” Plagg said. “They all function a bit differently, and the turtle’s is a lot stronger and more versatile, but the Ladybug and Black Cat need something for when it’s not active.”

“Do we have versions of the other powers then too?”

“Not really,” Tikki said. “Protection just is a concept that plays into many things. Wyazz was the first to come into existence after Plagg and I after all.”

“Huh,” Adrien said. He’d had classes where people debated the mechanics of Ladybug’s miraculous cure and Chat Noir’s cataclysm, whether it was magic or science. Adrien didn’t see why it couldn’t be both, the two could coexist in the same universe. The Kwamis themselves sometimes made his brain spin though. He’d tried to talk to Plagg about it once but the kwami wasn’t all that helpful. “I’m going to go get ready to sleep.”

Maybe he could convince Marinette to transform later just to see what the new power would be, Plagg and Tikki had gotten him curious. They had said there was no way to force a bond to come faster, but maybe if Alya could find a way to tap into ‘pure illusion’ somehow? Marinette understood creation which in turn made her understand Tikki, so wouldn’t the same idea work for Alya and Trixx? But what was illusion at it’s core? It couldn’t be something as easy as going to see a magic show or Alya would’ve done that already – and he wasn’t sure she hadn’t tried, so it had to be something more.

By the time Marinette came back, he wasn’t any closer to solving it and she noticed his pout. As she got under the covers, she pressed a kiss to his temple, “Is something wrong? You’ve got the same look as when you’re trying to solve physics problems.”

“It’s miraculous stuff, we can talk about it some other time,” Adrien said, not wanting to distract her with half-baked theories right before her final. Instead, he wrapped an arm around her waist, his head resting on her chest. “After everyone is blown away by your amazing designs.”

“I don’t remember half the stitches I’ve done since yesterday,” Marinette said, and Adrien could hear the catastrophe building in her voice.

“I’m going to cut you off there,” he said, moving back to press a finger to her lips. “Your designs are awesome, Marinette, and I bet you could fix any disaster with a safety pin and one hand tied behind your back. You’re going to be fine.”

“I’m going to be fine,” Marinette repeated, nodding to herself. “I’m going to be fine.”

“Yeah you are,” Adrien said, pulling her close again. Marinette snuggled closer, yawning as Adrien put an arm around her waist. He gave a her a light kiss, “Goodnight, ma cherie.”

Marinette was asleep before she could respond.

Continue on AO3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580646/chapters/62459155

#painted lady au #butterfly!lila #adrinette #post hawkmoth defeat #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #ladynoir #djwifi #hints of chloegami #chloe bourgeois #miraculous ladybug #fic #long fic #future fic #my writing

[elia-de-silentio]

ABOUT BLOOD-DRINKING

So! I see last chapter left us all with good feelings in regard to such an act in the context of The Case Study of Vanitas. I want to make another little recap, this time about the context and meaning the story has given to blood-drinking so far.

Now, blood drinking as a suggestive metaphore has been around since the 19th century; the main offenders are 'Carmilla', in which the act is very pleasurable for the titular vampire, and 'Dracula', in which it looks more like a metaphore for rape (anyone remembers the scene where the Count forces Mina to drink his blood?). 'Vanitas', being set in that time period, cheerfully grabbed the concept and ran with it.

So:

Blood-drinking n°1: Amelia to Noè. This one actually looks like a metaphore for drugs, with Amelia feeling better after it and yelling at Noé for more. But a few pages later, Vanitas comments on how drinking blood is an impulse that, even if easily controlled, can become overcoming when the sense of self is weakened. A very base instict, then.

Blood-drinking n°2: Noé to Amelia. This time the expressions of the partecipants make it more clear that this is a pretty intimate act. Noé in this is very gentlemanly, acting only at Amelia's request to look at her memories and biting on a neutral spot, her wrist.

By the way, we get here the first comment on how certain vampires have particular powers tied to blood-drinking; namely, Archivistes can see other people's memories (ramping up the 'intimate moment' effect).

Blood-drinking n°3: Noé to Dominique. This is where things start to get really explicit. Dominique is pretty much teasing in this scene, and she has him bite in a spot that requires her to remove some clothing. Noé said that he saw Dominique as a childhood friend, but in a short time, it will become clear that the girl has different feelings towards him.

Blood-drinking n°4: Jeanne to Vanitas. In this occasion, our guy explicitly says that he wants Jeanne to drink his blood because he 'loves' her, inviting her to bite in the same 'intimate spot' Dominique had offered Noé. She very much doesn't, but she's in a bad condition, and rather than risk attacking Luca she concedes. The result is a very unpleasing-looking experience for the both of them, and a very uncomfortable scene to watch given Jeanne's questionable consent.

By the way, this brings us to the 'Mark of Possessions'. The story says that when a vampire bites a human, it can leave a physical sign similar to a tattoo, that should keep other vampires away; but either is merely simbolic (Vanitas has two now, Astolfo, as we will see later, has many more), or it has some other meaning.

Blood-drinking n°5: Jeanne on Vanitas, again. Vanitas even words his request for Jeanne to drink his blood in very ambiguous terms, purposefully so. Still, the situation again isn't ideal: Jeanne is overcome by physical impulse, she doesn't like Vanitas and doesn't want to do this. And despite his claims of the contrary, Vanitas doesn't seem like he's having much fun either. Theirs is a pretty toxic relationship: Vanitas takes advantage of her weaknesses to feel a bond with someone (notice how he repeats Dominique's words to Noé), but with a person that detests him and so won't have any feelings for him - that he thinks he wouldn't deserve. Jeanne just would want out of his sick games, but she's confused by a few well-placed kindness. They don't actually have the intimacy and chemistry for it to be pleasurable.

Just a few pages later, they are compared and contrasted with Blood-drinking n°6: Dominique on Noé. The scene above is just so cute and playful. These two have known each other for ages and have a strong mutual affection; it isn' sensual as the first time we have seen them doing this, but it still very clearly conveys love, understanding and trust.

And a moment later, just as Dominique is thinking on how Noé doesn't know how she feels, Noé answers by sucking her blood in turn, and complimenting her on the flavour. A pretty moment of understanding from the usually oblivious Noé, that makes the scene all the more sweet.

Well, in-between there is Noé admitting that he wants to suck Vanitas .........................................

's blood, prompting this reaction from a clearly jealous Dominique, but still.

Blood-drinking n°7: Ruthven on Noé. This one has really nothing of intimate or even vaguely affectionate: it's pretty much an aggression, without sexual undertones. Thankfully, because Ruthven is doing some kind of mind control to Noé here.

Blood-drinking n°8: Jeanne on Vanitas. This comes to a point where the two just had a date, and it actually went pretty well. Vanitas show Jeanne some nicer side, and she, being completely affection-starved, was extremely impressed. But still, the thing was pretty manipulative and wrapped up in a little investigation on Jeanne's past, who is currently in a bad emotional state due to her shame for losing control, so again, uncomfortable and not really pleasurable for both parties.

Two chapters later, we have a moment of exposition about blood-drinking. Noé's Teacher compares it to drugs like alcohol and tobacco: there are vampires addicted to it, other addicted to the pleasure it gives, and other who don't care much for it (teetothalers? Asexuals?). But anyway, since unlike drugs it involves another sentient being, it means it is good to ask for permission first, or, as Louis puts it, sweet-talk people into it.

Blood-drinking n°9: Chloé to Noé. She wakes him up like this, after partially undressing him,and he's not pleased by the situation one bit. We also learn that non-consensual blood-drinking amongst vampires is an actual crime. Later on, Jean-Jacques barges in and, while saving Noé from unwanted drinking, expresses jealousy that Chloé drank from anyone who isn't him.

Blood-drinking n°10: Noé to Jean-Jacques ... unwillingly, JJ pretty much firce feeds his blood to Noé, to have someone who can remenber him.

Meanwhile, the whole Gevaudan arc also introduces Astolfo, whose backstory involves his family being exterminated by vampires in a way that is extremely reminiscent of sexual assault (he says that his mother was 'violated', and what they did to his sister, who was only six).

Blood-drinking n°11: Jeanne to Vanitas. And this time, it's ... pretty different. During the Gevaudan arc, these two actually had the occasion to understand each other and show genuine support; and it concluded with Vanitas saving the life of one of Jeanne's dearest friends. Here, Jeanne is overcome by her impulse, but doesn't seem to mind, she's not being manipulated into it. Vanitas is even taken aback ... but his expression shows that he doesn't dislike it one bit, unlike the other times. In the following chapters, the two will conclude they actually love each other.

Blood-drinking n°12: Noé to Misha. Ah, here's the chapter that left us with all the fuzzy feelings!

Jokes aside: that was one of the most disturbing scenes in the whole manga insofar. And I mean it as a good thing: Misha is messed up, Noé is being forced in the blood-drinking version of a Scarpia Ultimatum, he doesn't want to do this, and the way the scene is depicted conveys his feelings very well.

But, going back to the situation itself: Misha is the one who undresses more to get the bite. Everyone else just moves the collar of the shirt a little, Dominique was the most daring by baring a shoulder, but this kid is 1/4 naked, as others on this site have put it.

There actually is an explaination a few pages later: his mother was a prostitute, and forced him to crossdress and 'turn tricks' on her clients, an expression that as someone who has English as a second language I desperately hoped didn't mean 'give sexual performances' until cruel native speakers mercilessly crushed that hope. So, he wasn't exactly taught the value of consent, and in real life, a possible indicator of sexual abuse on children is them expressing a precocious and inappropriate sexual behaviour.

Moreover, he saw his mother killed by a vampire, but the experience was appearently pleasurable for her, and so he associated the blood-drinking with images of happiness and a pacified mother he so rarely saw.

This brings us to an unseen blood-drinking: the one Vanitas of the Blue Moon/Luna performed on their pupils. They surely did, because both Vany and Misha have their Mark of Possession (by the way, the latter has used the Blue Moon power more than the former: we see the mark reach the shoulder. So, in the clusterfuck that what said above reveals Misha's mind to be, add 'is being rewritten, whatever that means').

Why did Luna do that? The kids were even younger than they are now, which makes the whole thing very questionable to begin with; and did they really think that giving a thing that destabilizes a person's identity to any kid in general and to Misha in particular was a good idea?

(Also: Luna didn't do anything to correct Misha's behaviour or perceptions about consent, which kind of clashes with the images of a good and sensitive mentor Vanitas' memories gave us so far)

To sum the whole thing up: blood-drinking has connotations of sex and intimacy here, but moreover, these connotations are in the context of either sharing or dominance.

The first is evident in Noé's power, the ability to see memories, important parts of the other person's life, which has an incredible potential to allow him to understand them. And it is also appearent in his interactions with Dominique, the mutual nonchalanche they have in drinking each other's blood, indicative of their strong bond. They actually don't understand each other completely (Noé missing that Dominique is head-over-heels for him, Dominique missing that Noé wouldn't want Louis over her, he wanted both because his childhood friends are/were different people and no one can be the substitute for the other) but with the direction this arc is taking, I can see them getting there, is Dominique survives. In these cases, the blood drinking is described as pleasurable.

The second is evident in many of Jeanne and Vanitas's interactions, in Ruthven's actions against Noé, and in Misha's behaviour. This very intimate act can, if used along with violence and manipulation, be used to subjugate another. And it's interesting that the victim is the blood-drinker more often than the contrary: is shows a more subtle violence, forcing someone to take the more active part in something that they don't want to do. In these cases, the blood-drinking is not shown as particularly pleasurable: the bitten either winces in pain or looks in a state of demented ecstasy, and the biter goes on for physical compulsion.

In the case of Ruthven, it is hinted that his power is to control the actions of the people whose blood he has drunk, keeping his fangs in them metaphorically when not physically.

My question now is: if/when (more likely when) Noé will drink Vanitas's blood, in which of these categories will it fall?

Thanks to everyone who bothered to read my ramblings!

#vnc #vanitas no carte #vnc meta #the case study of vanitas #vnc spoilers #vnc vanitas #vnc noe #vnc jeanne #vnc dominique #vnc ruthven #vnc mikhail #elia's recaps

[smokeybrand]

Master Class

The BlueStacks thing worked and i have access to my FGO account again! Man, it’s been a year apparently. I thought it was less than that. It’s weird returning to this game after so long. Everything is so different. I had to re-acclimate to my account. I rolled into the end of that Battle of New York event so i missed that. Might partake in the rerun. I got a ton of the 15 missions to finish but I'm definitely putting those off for about a week because of leveling. I missed out on Abby and that f*cking sucks I wanted SO badly to try and roll my adorable Old One. Maybe next time. As a way of just re-familiarize myself, i wanted to run through the available Classes we have now. There’s quite a few and i need to catch up!

Saber

Saber is my favorite Class. I mean, off course it is. The majority of my favorite Servants are in this class. Artoria Alter, Gozen, Nero, Lakshmibai, Gawain, and obviously, Modred. Modred is love. As a Class, Sabers make for great vanguards, man. They often deal a sh*t ton of damage and take a good amount before they crap out. That said, they get eaten up by Archers, man. It feels like that Affinity advantage hits a little harder on my swords-wielders. Favorite Saber: Mordred

Archer

Archers and i have a love hate relationship. They’re dope, don’t get me wrong, but they never seem like they’re properly strong. They feel like Archers to me, if you can understand that weirdness. Like, they’ll take you out but it’ll definitely cost a lot more effort than a strong Saber. Still, the characters are dope and the animation to their Noble Phantasms are almost always epically cinematic like Atalante’s Phoebus Catastrophe or EMIYA’s Unlimited Blade Works. Favorite Archer: Gilgamesh

Lancer

Lancers are my second favorite Class, mostly because of Cu. Cu gets bad rap most of the time. Dude is hilarious. Also Diarmuid. They did dude dirty in Zero. I enjoy Lacers mostly because of how well balanced they feel. They dish a good amount of damage while maintaining a decent amount of defense. They’re not as hardbody as Sabers and, indeed, get absolutely rag-dolled by them, but they stand their own against the other Classes fairly well. Favorite Lancer: Karna

Rider

Riders are a quandary to me. So many of them are throw away characters, weak as sh*t, but then you get absolute powerhouses out of nowhere. Francis Drake, Iskander, Quetzalcoatl, Ivan the Terrible, and Ozymandias will ruin your whole ass day if they’re spec’d right but the rest of the entire available Servant int this class are negligible. Even so, they hold a special place in my heart because my darling Medusa is a Rider. Also, Swimsuit Mordred is Rider so this Class got that going for it, too. I do adore all things Mo. Favorite Rider: Medusa

Caster

I hate Casters. They feel so goddamn weak, all of the time. If you’re not firing off a Noble Phantasm, they’re whack and, even when you do that, there is a real good chance it’s a support spell or some sh*t. I don’t need to debuff anything, f*cking do some damage, clown! This entire class is like utility because there is no way they are relevant in a real battle. Favorite Caster: Swimsuit Nero

Assassin

Ah, the Assassins. These motherf*ckers area whole ass frustration. Don’t misunderstand, i like them, they’re physical powerhouses, but can a cat get an Anti-Army Noble Phantasm at least once? All of these thing are focused on single unite attacks and threat can make for some dangerous play, man. Ludicrously OP play, but you have the same chance of dying as your opponent running these sneaky bastards. Favorite Assassin: Semiramis

Berserker

Berserkers area waste, man. All of that power, all of that ludicrous violent potential, and they’re always at an Affinity disadvantage due to the Madness curse. It f*cking blows because these beasts are real f*cking weapons of mass destruction, you know? I never use Berserkers for that exact point, unless going up against a swath of other Berserkers. That’s the only viable time you can use them efficiently and that sh*t almost never happens in game. Favorite Berserker: Ibaraki Douji

Ruler

Rulers are as useless as Caster but, somehow, disappointingly, moreso. They at least got a dope aesthetic, though. They also take half damage from literally every other Class. That’s cool, i guess. Favorite Ruler: Amakusa Shiro

Avenger

I love Avengers, man. Love em! These things are always dope. Great power. Great defense. Dope aesthetic. These things get it rough from Moon Cancers but everyone else is at their mercy, especially if you leveled them correctly. I have a few Avengers, personally, and one is literally the second card i maxed out fully. I’ll let you guess who it it is. Hint - She’s a Medusaface. Space Ishtar, Alter Jeanne, and Demon Nobu are also worthy of mention. Favorite Avenger: Gorgon

Moon Cancer

Moon Cancers are just an excuse to shove in more Sakurafaces in the form of BBs and i am here for it. The more Sakura i can get, the happier i am. I love Sakura. I don’t care for Moon Cancers as a whole Class, though. Also, i don’t have any anyway. F*ck em! Favorite Moon Cancer: Summer BB

Alter Ego

Alter Egos are so confusing to me. Like, why are they a thing? Why are they just not Alters or whatever? There is a legitimate reason, i know they are separate version that gained sentience and not just a different facet of the same character or whatever the explanation was, but even so, sh*t i contrived nonsense and i kind of love it. Nasu is absolutely known for it’s convolution and Alter Ego are no different. They’re the most TYPE-Moon sh*t ever, after Saberfaces. Favorite Alter Ego: Sesshoin Kiara

Foreigner

Foreigners are a blessing, aren’t they? Motherf*ckers are wonky as f*ck and just Some of the dopest Servant in all of Fate lore originate in this Class. F*cking Voyager, Yang Gufei, XX, Katsushika Hokusai, and two versions of my darling Abby Williams. And i don’t have any of them. F*ck my life, bro. Just, f*ck it all up, man. Favorite Foreigner: Abby Williams

That is all the available classes in Fate/Grand Order right now and, i think, all of them in the Fate franchise as whole. I’m sure there are some weirdly loose ones like Gunner or Faker. Once upon a time, the only wonky class was Avenger but now we got all these new ones, and just call them Extra Classes. It’s ridiculous. It’s all very much Nasu and i am having the best time revisiting my favorite franchise from the Nasuverse! Speaking of Extra, for the record, my favorite Servant in the Beast Class is Tiamat. You can’t Summon her, so it felt like a cheat to put her on the actual list but i do enjoy me some ancient Sumerian Dragon-Mother.

[tivaholic4]

NCIS High School: Chapter Nine:

Lunch went by fast. Abby and Tim worked on their remaining homework from Physics and AP Literature. Tony was showing Ziva more about her phone, seeing as she only knew how to text and call. He showed her all the features in the settings. When the bell rang, they threw their trash away and walked to their next classes. Tony and Ziva headed towards the gym while Tim and Abby headed towards Algebra Honors.

Yesterday, Gym class was awful. Today, Tony hoped it would go better as he cleared some things up with Ziva and now he could really talk to her and show her around. They split off again and headed to the separate locker rooms. Like yesterday, Tony got dressed fairly quickly. He caught the glares that were sent into his direction, but he didn’t care. Jackson and his buddies left him alone today, something that Tony was grateful for. He tied his shoes and left the locker room. Surprisingly, Ziva was standing outside the bathroom next to the gym. He smiled at her gym wear and made his way over to her.

Ziva sensed his presence and looked up to see his green eyes looking at her. More importantly, she saw his eyes rake her frame. Something that sent a shiver down her spine. She liked to have his attention. Something that she never really had before. Especially from a guy. Not to mention a very handsome guy. She practically melted on the inside when he would smile at her, something that he was doing now. She had never felt this way about someone, ever. After her father and brother died, she told herself to never get close to anyone, well except family. Then when her sister died, she promised herself she would never get too close to anybody ever again. She didn’t want to go through the heartbreak of someone leaving or dying. She had enough of that in her life. She wanted something permanent. That couldn’t be taken away from her. But Tony was breaking through that revelation. Breaking through to her heart and that terrified her. Her smile slightly lowered as she realized what was happening. She was letting him in way too quickly. Letting him in at all.

As Tony was walking towards her, her smile faltered. Thoughts rang through his head as he thought of what he could’ve done. What somebody must have told her. He couldn’t think of anything else that would make her angry with him. He was less than 3 feet to her when he spoke.

“What’s wrong?” His eyes were filled with concern. Ziva snapped out of her stupor and looked at him with raised eyebrows. How could he tell something was wrong? Nobody could ever see that because she had always hidden it so well.

“Nothing.” He could tell she was lying. Something was bothering her. Did it have to do with him? Was he being an idiot again? Did one of his other flings come up and talk to her about him?

“Ziva. Something’s wrong. I can tell. You might not want to talk about it, but your eyes won’t shut up.” He knew it somewhat sounded cheesy but it was true. Her eyes were filled with emotion. Filled with what looked to be sadness and...fear? What was she afraid of? Was she afraid of him?

‘No way! This is Ziva. The same girl that kicked the shit out of Slacks. There’s no way she’s scared of me. So what’s bothering her?’ Different thoughts wouldn’t leave him alone. What was going on with her?

“It is nothing, Tony. Let us just get cooled down for gym.” She turned to walk away when Tony gently grabbed her arm, making her turn around and face him. He was having deja vu from yesterday when he had pulled the same move.

“You can trust me, Ziva. I would never hurt you.” Tears breached Ziva’s eyes. No! She wouldn’t cry. She was better than this. Crying was a weakness. She was not weak. Never had been and never will be. She won’t cry just because he showed genuine care for her. She felt that she was falling for him. Something that absolutely terrified her. She wouldn’t let that out. Even if it killed her.

“I will tell you later.” She didn’t know if that was actually true. She might do a revised version to the real thing, but more than likely shake it off like it never happened. Tony gave her a suspicious look, telling her through his eyes that he didn’t believe her. He nodded anyway and she sighed in relief. They entered the gym together and all eyes went on them, more precisely on Ziva. Jeanne’s group was standing in the corner, glaring at them. They were standing closer than “friends” normally would. They didn’t care and they moved to the other side of the gym, ignoring the many looks that were cast their way. They stood in the opposite corner and Tony moved to block Ziva from the mean looks. He didn’t know why but whenever somebody did something to her, rage filled inside of him. Fear that she would be taken from him, even though they were just bullies in High School.

Normally, Fornell wouldn’t arrive until after 10 minutes of class went by. Probably talking to Ms. Diane Sterling in the teacher’s lounge. Everybody around school knew they had the hots for each other but they were always fighting. Maybe that was what was good for their “relationship”. Tony looked Ziva up and down as she was looking around the gym. She saw all the cliques in the class and told herself that she didn’t want to be a part of any of them. She was perfectly fine with hanging out with Tony.

“I have a basketball game today after school. If you want to come we’re playing the school rival. Washington High. God those guys always find a way to one-up us. Not this year. We’re taking it all the way to the finals. Leave them in the dust.” Ziva’s eyebrows raised when she heard his last sentence. In her country, if you leave somebody in the dust, they’re dead. Tony saw her look of disbelief and somewhat fear. Something that was hidden way too far back for anybody to see. But he saw it.

“What?” Again he was scared that he said the wrong thing. Ziva shook her head.

“Nothing. In my place of birth that normally means leaving people to die. It just took me by surprise that is all.” Tony looked at the ground for a split second and then looked back up at her and was about to speak when her phone dinged. Her face was written with confusion as she pulled it out of her pocket. There was another unknown number on her screen.

202-327-1969: Hey Ziva! It’s Abby! Tony gave me your number so we could talk! Hope that’s cool!

Ziva (202-112-1982): Hello Abby. Yes, it is fine. We are currently waiting for Mr.Fornell to get into class.

202-327-1969: Oh yeah! I just saw him in the hallway talking with Ms. Sterling. They need to see what’s right in front of them! It’s honestly so sweet but kinda creepy to see two teachers flirting.

Ziva let out a laugh. It was a wonder that Abby got any work done with how much she talked. She didn’t mind, Abby was becoming a good friend to her. If she liked to talk so be it. Ziva looked up at Tony when she chuckled and saw him looking at her strange.

“It is Abby.” Recognition spread across his face.

“I hope you don’t mind that I gave your number to them. They just wanted to be able to talk to you even outside of school.” Ziva nodded. She looked up at him quickly.

“Did you say them?” She didn’t want many people to have her number, no matter who they were.

“The only other person I gave it to was Tim. Nobody else, promise.” His cheeks blushed a tad as he looked up at her.

“Oh. Well, Tim is fine. Just don’t be giving out my number to everyone.” She let out a chuckle, signaling to him that she was only half-joking.

“Deal.” Her phone buzzed again and she suspected that it would be Abby but it was another unknown number.

‘Must be Tim.’ She figured as she opened the message.

202-913-1978: Hey Ziva, it’s Tim. Sorry to bother you just figured I would text you to see if you were okay. I heard about what happened in the hallway before lunch.

His text made her smile. They cared for her like nobody else had and she wouldn’t let that go. Ever. Tony saw her smile and wondered what Abby had said.

“That was Tim.” Jealousy suddenly fired up inside Tony as he heard Tim’s name. Why was he jealous of his own brother? Tim was in love with Abby, of that he was sure. He didn’t need to be jealous of his computer-obsessed brother. But, he couldn’t help it when it came to Ziva. He didn’t know why that was but he had the suspicion that he was falling for her, and fast.

“What did he say?” He couldn’t help himself from being curious, and nosy. Ziva raised her eyebrow at him but smiled.

“He was just asking if I was okay from what happened in the hallway earlier.” Tony nodded.

Ziva (202-112-1982): I am fine, Tim. Nothing that I couldn’t handle. Tony was there to help me pick everything up.

202-913-1978: Don’t worry about Jeanne and her “friends” they will torment anybody who doesn’t worship them.

Ziva’s eyebrows furrowed. What had she done to Tim? She would admit that she was curious but she wouldn’t ask. Afraid that he might think that she was being nosy. Unlike Tony over there.

Ziva (202-112-1982): Thank you, Tim. I must go, I can hear Mr. Fornell coming. Will talk to you later.

202-913-1978: Have fun in gym. See you later.

Ziva saved both Tim and Abby’s phone numbers into her phone. She liked having them as friends. They seemed like good people. Fornell walked into the gym with the whistle in his mouth and blew on it, signaling that they needed to get in their lines to stretch. Tony and Ziva stretched together today and laughed at Tony’s jokes and movie references.

Today they were going to be playing basketball. Something Ziva knew absolutely nothing about. Tony turned to her and asked if she would be his partner, just like he did Math earlier. She nodded, seeing as she wanted to learn how to play, why not get pointers from the point-guard of the team himself? Tony went over and grabbed a ball and they made their way over to an open hoop. Tony took a shot and swished it in the net. Something that secretly impressed Ziva. She also couldn’t help notice the way his muscles tightened and relaxed upon moving his arms.

“I must admit. I do not know how this game works.” She looked sheepishly down at the ground then back up at him, biting her bottom lip. Which unknown to her, did a number on him. He gulped and struggled to control his breathing when she did that.

“That’s okay. I can teach you.” His smile was radiant. Something that was soon stretched across her own face. He grabbed the ball and put his hand on it like he was going to shoot.

“You put your dominant hand in the middle to give it power and your non-dominant hand on the side to keep it in place.” He put his hands in the positions he said and pulled up, causing the ball to end up right above his head. His hands were in the same place as they were when he placed them there a minute ago. He flicked his wrist sending the ball flying towards the goal and it hit the backboard and fell into the net. Ziva watched intently, wanted to absorb this information so she could play this popular game correctly. She grabbed the ball and put her hands like Tony did and pulled it up and fired. It hit the right corner of the goal and went to the opposite side of the gym. Tony ran after it and handed it to her to try again.

“You see the square in the middle of the backboard?” She nodded as she saw the white outline right above the net.

“Hit there. Nine times out of ten it’ll go in.” She set up in her position.

“Hold on.” He moved behind her, put his hands on top of hers, and adjusted them. He then helped her move her legs into a better position so that she could remain stable when she came back down. She felt tingles all around her body as he touched her. She could feel his breath on her neck and gulped as she steadied her breathing so that nothing would be given away. He moved away from her and told her to shoot. She pulled up and shot the ball towards the goal again. This time, however, it went in. Tony laughed and turned to look at her with a smile on her face.

“Nice shot, Sweetcheeks.” He went and retrieved the ball from where it landed after the shot took place. Not even realizing that he called her by a pet-name. Ziva’s blush reminded him of what he said and instantly he tried to defend himself.

“I didn’t mean to say that. I don’t know why I did. I…” He rambled. Ziva put her hand up with a slight smirk on her face.

“It is okay, Tony. Thank you for teaching me.” Tony smiled at her, looking into her eyes and drifting down to look at her lips. Ziva was doing the same thing. Just as his temptation got the best of him and he leaned in, their phones went off. They pulled back looking at each other with smiles as they reached to retrieve their buzzing phones. It was from Abby.

Abby: Hey guys! Figured I would make a group chat for all of us! Tony, you might have to teach Ziva how to use it. Now we can all talk with each other without separate messages.

Ziva smiled as she replied.

Ziva: I know how a group chat works, Abby. Thank you for including me.

The reply was almost immediate.

Abby: Cool! Are you guys going to the game tonight?

This time it was Tony that replied.

Tony: Well yeah, Abbs. I kinda have to be there.

Tony and Ziva looked at each other and laughed.

Abby: Well I know you’re going Tony, but what about Ziva and Tim? It’s going to be a big game tonight. So Tony, you better bring your A-game.

Tony: You know I will Abbs.

Tim: I’ll be going. Come on, we gotta beat them this year. They’ve been celebrating early.

Ziva knew they were talking about basketball and it amused her to no end that she and Tony were standing less than 5 feet from each other. Should be going to support the school and they’re basketball team. At least, that’s what she would tell everybody. She knew she really just wanted to see Tony. Not that anybody but she would know that.

She would go to see how Americans spent their time and the fact that Tony would be there was an added bonus.

#NCIS #Ziva David #Tony DiNozzo #Leroy Jethro Gibbs #Tim McGee #Abby Sciuto #Jenny Shepard #Donald Mallard #Jimmy Palmer #Eventually Breena Slater

[veroticker]

Damaged - Jeanne St James

Summary (from Jeanne St James’s website)

Two scarred souls: one physically, one mentally.

Mace Walker can’t wait to get home.

Being buried deep undercover for the past two years, on the most complex case of his career, has torn him down physically and mentally. Now the FBI agent has come home to recover after having his leg badly injured from a gunshot wound. Arriving home late one night, his relief is short-lived as he’s faced with a stranger pointing a gun to his head, acting like he is the one who doesn’t belong there!

Colby Parks, a biochemist at the local university, had come to town a year earlier to escape an abusive relationship. She vows never to put herself in that situation again.

Then the perfect opportunity comes along: house-sitting for Mace’s sister while making the house she purchased habitable. But she couldn’t anticipate this big snag: the one wearing the tight Levi’s and worn leather jacket, looking like he had just escaped prison.

Being forced to share a house creates sparks between them in more ways than one. However, things take a turn when their pasts catch up to them, threatening to pull them apart forever.

Blurb

“As Mace Walker slid the key into the lock, an immediate sense of relief washed over him. He hadn’t been home in…Hell, forever. Even though he owned the house and considered it his home, he felt like a stranger when he opened the front door. He chucked his keys on the table by the door with a sigh. He’d been home for a whole thirty seconds and restlessness already ate at him.

​The house was quiet, and he wondered where his sister was. Probably sleeping, dummy, since it was—he glanced at his watch—freaking one in the morning. Most normal folk slept at this hour. But then, he wasn’t normal. He couldn’t be to do his job.

​But, he couldn’t do his job right now, anyway. He’d been forced home to heal. Against his wishes.

​Fucking bullshit.

​The foyer was dark, but he didn’t need to hit the light. He still knew the house well enough. He made his way to the stairs where he dumped his duffle bags on the floor and ran a hand through his too-long hair.

​Those two small duffels held little evidence of his life for the past couple years—just some toiletries and a few basic items of clothing.

​He turned toward the kitchen, and the foyer lit up, blinding him for a second. He blinked against the harsh light, and a young voice rang out from the top of the steps. “Hold it right there! Put your arms up and back away from the stairs.”

​What the fuck?

​Mace had expected to see his sister bounding down the stairway of his two-story colonial, excited after not seeing him for the past two years. Actually, more like one year, eleven months, and fifteen days. Not that he’d counted.

But instead, he stared up into the deadly eye of a Glock. And from his viewpoint, it looked like a model 27, a .40 caliber—a compact, but still a decent sized gun in a very small, very uneasy hand. Instantly, the hairs on the back of his neck rose.

​Damn.

​He’d dealt with crime bosses and their flunkies—from drug to porno rings—and had managed to survive. Now he was going to be killed by some measly punk he surprised while burglarizing his house when he happened to come home? The cruel irony made him want to laugh. Instead, he did as instructed. With caution, he raised his hands above his head before stepping back toward the middle of the foyer. He avoided standing directly under the light, trying to get a better view of the top of the steps. But he didn’t have much success; the upstairs hallway and the upper section of the stairway were hidden in shadows.

​If he played his cards right, this little situation would be under his control in no time at all. He just had to keep the kid calm and make the skinny punk believe he was the one in command. The Glock didn’t have a conventional safety. All the kid had to do was pull the trigger and pull it again and again until all the rounds in the clip emptied into Mace’s body. And from what he could see in the limited light, the kid’s fingers twitched from nervousness.

​Not a good sign.

​Where had a young punk gotten an expensive handgun like that? It certainly hadn’t been in the house. And if it had been, it would have been locked up in the gun safe.

​If only he could see the boy’s face. He needed to see the eyes. Without seeing those, Mace couldn’t even begin to predict what the kid would do.

​“Don’t you dare move, or I’ll blow your face off!” The kid’s voice raised an octave, making him sound more and more like…a female.

​Mace tensed when the person started down the steps. At first, he could see bare toes, a slim calf, then another. His gaze flicked to the gun before returning to the shapely naked thighs which couldn’t belong to a kid. No fucking way. Especially not a boy. Those smooth legs definitely belonged to a woman, and he couldn’t wait to see the rest of her.

So far, the view almost made it worth being held at gunpoint. Almost.

​He felt strangely disappointed when an oversized T-shirt—shit, was that Sponge Bob on it?—blocked his view of creamy flesh. His arms were tired, his leg throbbed painfully, and his patience was wearing thin. But he still wouldn’t move since he had no idea who this woman descending the stairs was. His curiosity piqued when she stepped down into the light, which highlighted her long, curly red hair and made her wide, glaring green eyes sparkle and snap.

​Lightning shot through him and landed in his groin. Neither fear nor pain made him suck in his breath. No, her unencumbered breasts bobbing under the cotton shirt with each step she took did. Her nipples stood out like two beacons under the worn cotton.

​Jesus.

​He had to clear his throat twice before he could ask her, “You’re robbing this house dressed like that?”

Really, if it wasn’t for the gun being pointed at him center mass, he wouldn’t be taking this seriously at all.

When she hesitated halfway down the staircase, a look of uncertainty crossed her features, before disappearing as quickly as it came. Her eyes narrowed, and she scowled at him. “Am I robbing this house? The question is: What are you doing here?”

​His leg began to throb again, the way it had earlier on his long drive into town. Although, he preferred the ache to no feeling at all. He was glad to even still have his leg. Hell, he was lucky just to be alive.

Well, alive at the moment. It wouldn’t take much to change that.

​“I live here.””

(review under the cut)

Review

(audiobook) I don’t know what to think of this book. Narration was good. Characters were interesting. Their struggles too. But everything seemed to be just an excuse to write very hot sex scenes.

Don’t be mistaken, I enjoyed those scenes. They were hot as hell, with lots of experimentation from the characters. Never boring. But they kind of ruined the story. Like I was reading two very different books--one a thriller, the other one only smut--badly meshed together.

Why was Mace attracted that fast and that hard to Colby? He wants to make her his within minutes of her threatening him with a gun. So much for realistic. I’d have liked something more slow burn. It’s not even insta-love. It’s insta-lust. I mean, why not? I’ve read such things before--am actually reading something like that at the moment--but with so much potential in the plot, I felt it was the wrong choice of relationship.

As for the plot things that I liked, I found interesting the undercover agent looking for some calm at home after a very bad injury, and the way his last mission follow him home. It could have created a great atmosphere. And Colby’s struggles with past abuse, and her ex following her, were also interesting points, resolved much too quickly.

I still enjoyed it because the narrator was really good. She gave different voices to the characters, and I was never confused. And she knew how to read hot scenes, let me tell you!

Not a bad read all in all, but I’d have liked more plot and less hotness.

Quickie

Series: standalone

Hashtags: #romantic suspense #enemies-to-lovers #injured

Triggers: depiction of injuries, mention of physical abuse, violence

Main couple: Colby Parks & Mace Waker

Hotness: 5/5

Romance: 3/5

+ I enjoyed Colby’s enthusiasm with her house

- that was mostly porn with a thin plot

Stalker mode

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#Jeanne St James #Damaged #contemporary romance #romantic suspense