#anyway this is the first time i ever wrote any amount of fiction

[monikatouhou]

Ran Yakumo Simulator 2023

[CORE_SOUL: On]

You are nowhere. There is nothing.

In truth, you are likely in your body, hopefully where you last left it, but you cannot tell at this time.

[DIVINATION_MODULE_v3.5: On] - It will take eight minutes to gain visual input in the right eye. It will take an hour and five minutes for [AUX_AUDIT_PROC_v9] to come online. Heat a tortoise shell and observe the cracks for more information.

You are glad Lady Yukari made it so that this is what typically comes online first. It usually gives you something to look forward to. Though it would perhaps be nicer to be able to see or move first. However, you know from experience that these are some of the more difficult parts of a shikigami to make work.

[CHEN_CONNECTION_v12: On] - She is fast asleep. No further information.

This is the only part of yourself that you made largely on your own. Naturally, it is the least functional. It was worse in the past though.

[...]

[ROCK_GAP_SIMULACRUM: On]

In place of this there used to be a gap connection to the outside world. Lady Yukari called it a "Load Bearing Coconut", even though it was clearly connected to a rock. However, it apparently shattered last year, which of course caused practically everything to either malfunction or break completely. This is a replacement she made. This increased loading time, as did all the previous band-aid fixes over the last several centuries.

[...]

[OLD_REPURPOSED_MODULE_(REPLACE_THIS): On]

[SENSE_INPUT_BUS: On]

[SMELL: On]

[VISION_R: On]

The left eye for some reason always takes at least a few more minutes to come online. Lady Yukari has not been able to explain why that is to you.

You know that you are in fact in your room, and you know that eight minutes have passed. Little you can do with this information for now, since you still cannot move.

You should change your duvet cover later today. This one needs to be washed.

[PROPRIOCEPTION: On]

[TASTE: On]

[SOMATOSENSORY: On]

Your eyes are very dry, much like every morning. They open automatically when you first awake, but you can only blink voluntarily. Not an urgent fix, since this cannot cause you any damage, it's just unpleasant.

[FIXUPS_v3: On]

For the time being, you are stuck staring at the ceiling. Yukari told you once that body motion and eye motion are controlled largely separately in humans, but this is not the case in your body. You cannot move your eyes until the bodily output bus comes online.

[...]

[FIXUPS_B_v5.5: On]

[MOTOR_CONTROL_CORE_v4: On]

This part will help you coordinate your movements once you are able to move.

[FIXUPS_C_v4: On]

[MOTORICS_STABILISER_v2: On]

[...]

[BODILY_OUTPUT_BUS: On]

[GAP: On]

At long last. You blink and rub your eyes in an attempt to get rid of the dryness. You finally sit up. You get up from your bed.

What is this gap for, in any case?

You should probably start going about your day.

You look around your room for what might be your hairbrush. None of your visual processing modules are on yet, and so identifying objects is difficult. Also, your left eye is taking a while to start working. Nevertheless you find what you figure is a brush - it is about the correct lenght, has one thinner part that may be a handle, and a wider part bearing what might be the hairs. Using the same memorized motions you've used for centuries, you brush your hair.

Maybe you should leave your room. Might be good to try to cook something, or if your object identification processing module isn't on yet by then, maybe get a drink.

You walk towards what seems like a door. You look over it to make sure it is not your closet door. The shape of the handle seems right for the one you are looking for, so you start walking towards it.

[FIXUP_OVERHAUL_v0.99: On]

Suffering a momentary lapse of consciousness, you crash right into the door, and fall onto the floor.

This was an attempt of Lady Yukari's to eventually replace all the overly big "fixup" modules with some more streamlined implementation. This giant module, currently attached somewhere around the other fixup and motorics modules, is the result. Frankly, you would be better off without it.

You get back up and open the door.

[VISION_L: On]

[SPEECH_MOTORICS_v2: On]

Took a while. You walk out of your room and head to the kitchen, using your mental map of the house, walking carefully, since your ability to notice obstacles by sight is still impaired.

You enter what you're fairly sure is the kitchen. Probably best you do not cook just yet. You remember Yukari recently purchased some outside world drink. You could try that, to pass the time.

It is bottled, so you look for a bottle, and a glass to pour the drink into. You find objects identifiable as such.

You pour yourself a glass. Isn't this smell strange? You take a sip..

You spit it out. This is vinegar. This was not the right bottle.

[AUX_VISUAL_PROC_OBJECTS_IDENT_v4: On]

This would have been very useful a few seconds ago.

[STAR_MAP_HD: On]

[CLOCK: On] - It is 7:21:30.2912 am

You are unsure what the star chart is for, and every time you asked Yukari, she just chuckled and refused to answer.

You hear a sound behind you in the kitchen. Laughter?

You look in the direction of the sound. The source of it is some sort of person. You cannot tell apart faces yet, but they are wearing one of Yukari's dresses and have blond hair, and so you easily conclude this is probably Lady Yukari.

YAKUMO YUKARI - [Unintelligible]

You cannot yet process speech, so you don't know what she is saying.

YOU - "I'm sorry, Lady Yukari. My auditory processor is not on yet, and so I cannot understand you."

The person you presumed is Lady Yukari laughs again.

You sigh.

You used to be able to do a lot of this processing with the core soul alone, didn't you? Has your core just lost its functions, as it could rely on all the auxiliary processors?

Not that it matters.

You come back to the stove to cook breakfast for yourself, Lady Yukari and Chen. By the time you are done, most modules should be on.

#ran yakumo simulator 2023 #ran yakumo #chen #yukari yakumo #textpost #shikigamiposting #the take i ended up with mid-writing is that the core soul is kinda like the mitochondria in that it loses functions that it doesn't need #anyway this is the first time i ever wrote any amount of fiction #so this is probably awkward in a lot of places #tags and comments appreciated as always

[eating-plastic]

I'd love to know more about your f/o Ricky!! I love reading your replies to the prompts but I don't know who Ricky is tbh lol this is an invitation to gush about him :3 <3 <3

Ay, I absolutely ain't got no problems talking about Ricky so thank you for the invitation 🥰!

Roller Ricky is a side character from the game Killer Frequency. He's a sweet and fun loving guy who runs a roller rink in the fictional small town of Gallows Creek(hence the nickname). He's very chill, down to Earth, and friendly. He also has an emotional support dog named Max who he absolutely loves (which it's sooo fucking cute how much he loves him oh my God).

Despite being certified sweet boi in my books (calls him "certified sweet boi" even tho he's literally a grown ass man in his late 30s lol), he has no problems with scaring off someone with his rifle if they threaten him or those he loves (this is literally canon, and I love that it's canon).

Annnnnnd what's a certified sweet boi without a traumatic backstory. Without spoiling the game too much, Ricky went through this fucked up prank in high school where he literally thought his friends were fucking murdered and one of them actually fucking dying (I'm not kidding you, shit's fucked up). Turns out it was a stupid hazing ritual that his football team was doing to the new players, and he didn't know that because he can't keep secrets well and would've spoiled it. Yeah that's not a good fucking excuse because he developed really bad survivor's guilt that caused him to become an alcoholic to deal with the trauma (and my poor bby I wanna wrap him up in a blanket now 😭).

Fortunately, he found a support group and got actual therapy for his trauma. Now he encourages others to push through tough times.

Yeah I love this man soooo much it's not even funny lol.

What's sad tho is Killer Frequency is kinda niche(?) I think, so there isn't too much content out there for him, despite being relatively well liked by fans. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who has written any x reader things for him. That's so me tho, I've always fallen in love with characters that are unknown or unpopular, it's my curse. Anyways, my first ever full length fanfic I wrote, Heart Shaped Roller Rink (been thinking about making that our ship name, I think it's cute) was a Roller Ricky x reader fic. I've thought about revamping it too with it being my first fanfic; just kinda clean up the wacky formatting and fix the grammatical errors (I feel like with him being my f/o now, it's what he deserves lol). Then I literally wrote some headcanons for him the day after I posted that fic. Finally, not too long after that, I wrote another fic with him where the reader was pregnant because I feel it in my bones that he'd be such a sweet dad.

Also, like a fool I said that that was going to be the last I would write for him. God, what a funny joke because I have another idea for a fic (now if only I had the time and motivation). I didn't really plan on having him as my f/o, but after realizing I had written three things for him back to back to back, I was like "yeah, this is more than loving a character a normal amount." Soooo yeah, that's how he became my f/o. Don't get me wrong, I've always loved x reader fics and shit(still do btw), but I've never felt this strongly for a character before.

Now, I am happy to be a part of the wonderful world of self shipping with him ❤️

Bonus:

Hehe himb 🥰🥰❤️

#rita responds #wow this made my day thank you!!! #I've been so fucking busy this week and it's not even Friday #also sorry for the huge block of text you probably didn't want to read that much #I'll try to remember to send you an ask too ❤️❤️ #ship: heart shaped roller rink

[nattyontherun]

I just read all ur naruto fics and I feel insane.

Me about fictional characters: they get me.

I absolutely refuse to be emo in someone ask box but screams at you so much.

“How much do you lose to mourning, when what you lose is everything you’ve ever had? How can you acknowledge yourself, when all you have left to acknowledge is the you who never grew past your hurt? // Existence was ruination, to Sasuke. Existence was the slow descent into insanity.” I’m literally rolling around on the floor thrashing around. Hearth fire (and the rest of the series) WRECKED ME by the way if you even CARE. Me when the parallels in a fic to my life literally grab my by the throat and stab me but also wrap me in a warm fuzzy blanket and pat my head. Literally sent me deep into a very contemplative mood after reading it.

“… would have to live on because if not him, who?” “…because mourning, in its own way, is a form of safekeeping.” Hello I have died.

Also I don’t mean this in a derogatory sense but when I went to ur ao3 profile and read u have a psych degree I was like. That makes so much sense lmFAO.

Also also on a slightly more serious note, well it’s not that serious tbh, but I also do be dissociating and the way you described it was idk it felt weirdly good to read. I used to lose days at a time. I’m not as bad now but I’ll still lose hours here and there. I am not one to externalise things so I don’t have the capacity to describe things to people when asked but we’re I to try very hard it would probably be similar to how you wrote sasukes experience.

Oh my god tho. Oblivion. YOUR MIND IS SO POWERFUL. Your mind is literally so so so powerful. I’m shaking.

Anyway maligayang pasko at mag ingat ka 🫶🏻

This just made my holidays! First of all thanks??? I'm as surprised as you are that HF has been so monumental for me????

I've been told on a multitude of occasions that I have the unfortunate(?) habit of putting a lot of myself in fics. What I explore--thematically at the very least--is often just me chasing after the worms that haunt me in my dreams, yk? It's not like I'm a perpetually sad or moody person--quite the opposite really--but if I don't contemplate stuff I go through at least a little bit, where would that leave me? As uncomfy as it is, it's better to know yourself too much than not at all.

But YEAH! HF! Mindboggly amounts of woah topped by a surprising amount of hope? Sometimes I think I made it too melodramatic and "floaty" for lack of a better word and then I get comments like yours and I start rethinking my spirally thoughts. I just have so many OPINIONS about how canon treated everyone, but mainly Sasuke. If they weren't gonna let him die, by god give him the justice he so deserves?? He has like zero closure and an overwhelming brother complex and all canon does to fix that is say "revenge bad, here walk around some" FAWK no????

Anyways I have a psych degree! I don't use it for much rn but it's glossy and makes me feel good about myself sometimes! I like to think I'm not so obvious about it but I also feel like I always talk about it to anyone everytime so bvcedjsnj where was I going with my reply?

Right. Right! I meant to say that, as per the dissociation thing--far be it for me to claim I know anything about it beyond what I've read in a couple journals but I do tend to 'lose time" so to speak, myself? When I'm stressed or depressed or anxious or some horrid conglomeration of those three horrid things lmao. It's NOT fun, and I don't wish it on anyone, and I hope, if you can, you can speak to someone about it because suffering, in whatever way, however much, doesn't have to be a thing we just settle with yk? Idk. I wrote HF with this thought in mind that just because things can seem absolutely ass over tits at any moment doesn't mean it's always gonna be like that. I love the struggle story, I love ANGST--writing it, reading it--but there's something so devastating and inspirational about wanting to stand back up after stumbling. Human tenacity and resilience will always be infinitely more heartrending than sorrow itself or whatever philosophical way you can spin it...

I feel like I just lost the thread of my response all over again. I'm sorry! It's nearing 3am, I just got off shift, and I'm in one of those moods again... just... I care very deeply about people as a concept, and the way we mold ourselves around each other's lives until every one of our struggles is an extension of our community, which is an extension of our history and so on. I'm not super good about being in the /now/, the details of general existence aren't my best friends. But if characters get to act however the fuck they want to act, if they can build themselves back up from nothing, explore themselves in ways you or I never could, maybe never is just a qualifier we give ourselves to excuse our inflexibility and stagnation?

Something, something, the ultimate goal of the human experience will always be Self Actualization.

Anyways Anon, sorry about all the rambly philosophizing, I've probably scared you off now fbvehcskffbcrehd but you made my whole month!! Maligayang Pasko sa inyo po!!! Ingat ka lagi!!!!!!! And to whoever even bothers to read all this rambling,,,, in English: Merry Christmas and take care always, Mabuhay!

#i am so flattered #you have no idea i SQUEEEEEEEE to oblivion #by the way to oblivion is my love letter this smol section of fandom #and myself #mostly myself #kakasasu #ish #they're just trash bags to which i dump my emotional trauma #and make you all pay for it #mwa mwa thanks for the lovely comments you give me life #merry christmas!!!

[away-ward]

I think the reason why i love willemmy the most in dn series is because will's not an alpha, hayhahha! Ive read so many books with this dynamic and still am not personally liking extreme alphas MMCs very much, especially alpha (ass)-holes. Might be because of my own personal lack of tolerance to being controlled be it irl or through the fictional characters i read, especially relating to any kind of relationships in general really, so i love will's character a TONNE. In fact, in the royal elite series by rina kent, i love ronan & teal the most, and i believe its for the same reason. It goes the same with non-dark romances, i love jacob & eve brown from act your age eve brown & the first book's couple: get a life chloe brown, fox & hannah from hook, line and sinker, esme & khai from the bride test, pippa & ravi from a good girls guide to murder, and literally every book by abby jimenez except for the friend zone (because i hated that one), especially daniel from part of your world and jason from happily ever after playlist. Adding to that, my top fav characters from the shadowhunter chronicles (simon, alex, jem, raphael, henry) had very similar character traits too. Theyre not the popular guys of the series, also maybe because theyre pretty chill, but theyre always IT for me. I found these kind of characters's personalities and attributes so attractive. They make me giggling screaming kicking my feet and shit, haha! Like idk, theres something appealing about a man (.especially with some golden retriever traits) who can offer me something and makes me want to have him by my side anyway without them having to control my own narrative or personal choices almost all the time, is just so appealing to me.

Other than that, if you have read even some of these books, you would know that a lot of these books have another similar thing (except for raphael and alec): the MMCs know theyre being loved, desired and cared for AND their feelings were all written ON THE PAGE, not just in passing etc., and i think that was what seals the deal for me. The vulnerability and intimacy of the MMCs' thoughts and feelings of being loved by their significant others. My issue with corrupt (and even hideaway and kill switch) was that, unlike the fandom's hate towards rika's love for michael, i love that rika was showing us how much michael meant to her and how much she desires him; i love it when FMCs go after men that they want to be with. But its always about rika rika rika, but never really about how michael FEELS about it / after he received that amount of love and care, especially after he get out of his angsty head. We saw rika so happy with how michael made her feel; cherished, desired etc. but what about michael's in depth POV? I wanna see how michael feels about it too! We were always told he was happy in the extras, but cant pd actually just take some time and show us on page or wrote even a page or two about how these MMCs actually feel on page in the book, for once? Im begging for crumbs! Im always frustrated with this trope (?) because to me, what was exactly personally lacking for the execution of this trope about alpha MMCs like in corrupt, hideaway and kill switch most of the time, was it was usually not written on page in their povs, about how loved and desired these MMCs feel now. They were usually just dismissed with some context clues, others' povs or a side note about their life with their women. Its also always about how amazing and loved they made the FMCs feel, not the other way around. And thats the thing, I KNOW theyre loved, like everyday michael, kai, damon woke up feeling loved by their women, but i wanna see them acknowledging the love they had and how much that made their day and life!!! Im nosy, feed me more, and please give me the flufffffff haha!

--And Idk if thats on the writer for not portraying the trope well, or it's just how the trope is written because romance are usually written not only for the enjoyment of the author and the audience, but for a heavily targeted audience (women) where they want to self project themselves into the story, so they always want to know more about how the MMC treats and reacts to the FMC, rather than a pov of how the FMC impacted the MMC in his lens in a deeper way (this is a well known fact among romance authors i believe, even pd ackowledged this in one of their goodreads questions when someone asked them about their story crafting and how that relates to the advertising side of selling their stories. If you noticed, pd didnt really write characters like banks and emory a lot, even in their other series or stand-alones, because i think its probably because banks and emory's characters are almost everything of what WOULDNT sell in this industry, sadly--also because pd just might not want to write something they dont want to but who knows? Not me. Anyway, Its the double standards and misogyny tbh, because a lot romance readers, funnily enough even when being female presented themselves, still cant put aside their own internalised misogyny, double standards and purity culture ideologies that they have for real and fictional women, and projected those mary sue traits to women around them, as if women or fictional women have to adhere to a different sets of morality and standards as compared to fictional men who did worse, and can do whatever they want, but still be loved by many of these women. Thats why, romance's bad reviews are usually "i cant relate to her" or "i couldnt connect to emory". Understandable, but it still sounds weird to me, idk, maybe just me. But this is a whole 'nother topic).--

Coming back to the topic, I noticed this pattern within the alpha MMCs trope (most of the time), and it took away my enjoyment from fully loving books like that. I just wanna see couples fighting with/for each other, and BOTH the FMC and MMC (at least for non-queer couples) to love and be shown on page, how loved they felt by the other you know. All we get usually is an indication that the FMC was interested in the MMC and then it's done. I just wanna see all the gushy feelings of Michael, Kai and damon when they realised how loved they are, how they noticed all the little and big things rika, banks and winter had done or shown to them etc. but we never really got to see it. The most feelings i get from them are in their extras or novellas, but even then, it's not enough!!! Like please, continue to gush about your happy life and how happy your women make you feel!!! Like put aside your pride and show us more loving things!! Its not embarrassing because how can loving someone so wholeheartedly like that be embarrassing? Thats why i'll never stand with people shaming rika or any women tbh for showing how much they want to love their men. Its not embarrassing to want someone that badly, but I also wished she had more self preservation (which she did later on in the series), without having to tone down her desire of wanting to love michael either, so basically a good balance between these two points would be great. Like I just wanna see you two happy individually, and together!!! Please!

So thats why willemmy's book was appealing to me, because not only we saw them pining for each other in their heads, and when they couldnt control it, it always, AWLAYS!! show through their facial expressions and body languages. Like they just cannot help themselves because they were just so in love!!!! And then we got more pining, and the cycle repeats, even after 10 years, they were pining non-stop!! Yes, please! This level of appreciation shown for and by each other is so delicious! Hahahaha! We also saw how loved they felt by the other CONSTANTLY on page (on page!!!) even in the weirdest moments when others kept on interrupting them, or when they were in denial about their feelings, or even in the epilogue with their extended families. Like emmy's pining for will? Top tier. Emmy acknowledging how good and wholesome will makes her feel? Then we saw how much he chershes her? Fucking amazing! Even better than Top tier. Will acknowledging his feelings for emmy? Top tier. Will shown on page about how amazing and fulfilling it felt like to be loved by her? Then we saw will acknowledging how she indulges him? Fucking amazing! Even better than Top tier! Hahahaha! Yes! Show me how happy you are with each other!!! Moreee! Thats why I was so sad that we only usually get these kind of crumbs from michaelrika, kaibanks and winterdamon in the extras, novellas or near the epilogues. Like Its not enough!!!!! Gimme moreeeeeee!!!

Now, end of my ranting and sharing, what about you, what do you like most about willemmy?

It sounds like you like a guy who can be vulnerable. I get that. I think more than anything, a romance should be obvious from both sides?

There’s definitely a double-standard in fiction (and the real world) with expecting a FMC to be vulnerable and open from the get go while expecting a MMC to strong and stoic, almost to the point of emotionless, until the relationship stable and then he can be openly happy. However, once the relationship is stable, the story ends, so we don’t get to read that part. Because no one wants to read their 9 to 5 every day boring life when they came to see the couple fight and smash.

But stoic is not emotionless, so there should be a way to show the depth of MMC’s feelings without taking away their broodiness. I’m not sure if it’s because the general audience only wants the broody type character or that it’s a struggle to portray, but I agree with your analysis that there is an issue in the genre.

((But I’ve never been in love or a man, so far be it for me to accuse anyone of writing a man-in-love wrong.))

I have read or started some of those books (mostly started and didn’t finish). Personally, I don’t mind if the MMC is a little bit of an alpha-hole, as long as there’s a balance and an explanation, not just because. And I don’t mind if the FMC is a little submissive or shy if it’s done well. It’s not my go-to, but not something I avoid (I’ll point to the Crown Point series by Mary Catherine Gebherd as one I didn't mind reading (specifically Gray and Story, but I really enjoyed the first one. It’s just Abigail is not that submissive). I’ve only finished the first two and probably won’t continue (unless we get Gemma and Grim’s story) but they’re not bad. Can I just divert another second to say…the Horsemen of Crown Point seem so much more intense than the Horsemen of Thunder Bay, and I’ve only read two scenes with Grim… so that says a lot… ).

But that’s the point, right? We want characters that are done well. Characters who have traits that make sense, not just to have them because they fit the mold. There should be reasons why a character behaves a certain way. Sure, personalities develop individually and sometimes the character doesn’t know why they act a certain way, but as a reader who is getting the narrative, we should be able to identify why.

Even if a MMC doesn’t know what he’s feeling or why he’s feeling it, we as the reader should know it’s because ohhhhh they got it bad. They got hit so hard with the Simp Stick. Instead, we get them manically mumbling, “That’s mine. I don’t know why she’s mine but I can’t imagine her with anyone else, so she’s mine,” like some psychos.

And because of that, that it’s refreshing when a MMC can realize “It’s because I love her that I’m doing this. What? Did you think I was going to deny it? Have you seen her? Of course, I love her. I’ve never loved anything more.”

It hard to find a balance between those two extremes.

You’re probably right about characters like Emory and Banks not selling, for all those reasons you mentioned. It’s discussed often enough that people want strong FMC but – not like that. We don’t want characters who can be… mean. We want characters who can fight! And be soft for the people they care about! And not be a doormat, but still submissive with their man. (Please note my heavy use of sarcasm)

Emory and Banks fall into that "but they're so mean" category because they do what they say they're going to do and sometimes that means hurting the other characters (*gasp* even their *gulp* love interest). There are a lot of FMC who I would consider strong, but not the industry standard of strong. I’ve rb a lot of leverage stuff, but Parker and Sophie are good examples of strong FCs who don’t fit the mold (Parker also occupies a close space in my head to Emory, so there could be some overlap in how I'm processing them).

It is weird, however, when a reader is faced with a character who makes decisions they don’t agree with and reasons “I couldn’t relate to her”. Well, she’s not you! Do you think every MC should be you? Every MC should make the decision you would make? How did we get to this point? And it does seem to be something I've seen happening exclusively in the romance genre. I don't see other series/genre where the FMC are being critiqued to such a degree for not performing as a damsel for the MMC to save every second they're on the page together. But I could just not be aware the conversation is happening. A lot of things do fly over my head.

Anyway, back to DN.

I can laugh at Rika for a lot of things, but wanting Michael is not one of them (actually sometimes it is. He's fun to make fun of. but it’s all in good fun, right? Like they’re just characters. People shouldn’t get so angry. Just laugh). But like you, I would have liked to see some of the softer, tender moments between them. I think one of the softest moments we got from Corrupt was the end flashback when Rika’s 13 and Michael listens to her and then thinks “She corrupted me.” I don’t know why, but Michael acknowledging that Rika was part of why he started Devil’s Night is really… "awwww" for me. But I think for the most part, that’s the softest thing we get from him?

I think part of the problem with Michael is that he doesn’t have a good tolerance for expressing emotions in public spaces. He’s had to deal with his father feeding off his every reaction since childhood, trying to find ways to manipulate him, and then with Trevor doing the same, so he’s learned how to shut it down. From an outside perspective, an observer probably wouldn’t see much from him.

That being said…our other narrators are supposed to be his closest friends, so they should be able to also catch his little tells with Rika. I haven’t read the series to pick out Rika/Michael moments, so I couldn’t tell you if they do, but I don’t remember any sticking out.

So, for those moments we'd have to rely on bonus material. Personally, I wouldn’t mind those little moments. Seeing the characters outside the tension-filled plot would help me to understand them and their dynamics better. For example, I loved the moments in the past scenes when we got to see the boys just being friends because. Well, I love friendships in media, but also because it was just nice to see them being them as they were before things went sideways. I would eat up the boring, 9-to-5, day-to-day moments of these characters if it meant we get to see them being in love and a family, and not just told yeah, they’re doing fine.

To answer you’re questions, I have no idea what it is that hooked me on Willemmy exactly. It does check some of my trope boxes.

Isolated/Quiet Nerd Girl + Popular/Jock boy

GrumpyxSunshine

Mutual Pining

One fell first but the other fell harder.

I read the first three books for the plot outside the romance, but I do enjoy romance quite a bit, so the fact that NF’s past scenes romance felt more like a romantic drama than a high-speed/suspense plot might have seal the deal for me. There was just so many cute moments that had me smiling and there were moments that had me all the way in my deepest feels for both of these characters, whereas the other books had me leaning towards one character or the other.

I know readers talk a lot of trash about the series, Banks and Emory, and NF (and I’m not excluding myself, but I do try to be respectful), but the past scenes in NF was a well-rounded story and NF does have some really solid stuff in there. With NF, I honestly feel that you could take the past scenes, clean them up a bit and give it a small time-skip conclusion and you’d have good novel all on its own. Which doesn't work the other books in the series! NF weakest part is that it’s the conclusion of a large story that wasn’t originally planned when the first novel was published. Everything besides that is, as you said, Top Tier.

Thanks for the comment. I hope I answered everything. Let me know what you think!

*bolded not for emphasis but to help with reading a long post*

#asked and answered #devil's night series stuff #the horsemen of devil's night #the women of devil's night #willemmy #why I like willemmy #character analysis #story analysis #asked and answered 49

[justafrogandherumbrella]

A Cozy Cabin Night

A/N: I re-wrote an older flash fiction story of mine!

Waiting for the kettle to boil, Marie curled up under her fuzziest blanket at her favorite spot: the little yellow couch by the fireplace and right next to a small, round window looking into the woods outside. It was late at night, and a thunderstorm raged outside, flinging sleet onto the roof. The internet had gone out maybe an hour ago. Things like that were a regular occurrence here— that, being paired with the storm, meant that this came as no surprise to her. As long as she still had running water, then she wouldn’t have any issues. Given how cheap the rent was on this cabin— which came with its own plot of woods and a lakefront— she really couldn’t complain. 

Marie jumped when the lights started to flicker. It seemed that all power in the cabin might go out soon. Well, that was all right. She had a good fire going— and plenty of firewood to match— so she’d be able to survive a day or two without heating. Still, she didn’t want to be stuck without light… or water. 

Hesitantly, she rose up from her seat by the fire, and headed over to the kitchen area. The kettle sat on the counter, still boiling. She reached for her cupboards, taking hold of her largest pot, and placed it in the sink. She turned on the tap and let the water run. Next, the bathtub.  She marched her way down the one and only hall in the cabin, past the stairs leading to her bedroom to the very end and into the bathroom. After plugging the drain, she began to fill the tub. Even if she lost power, she would probably still have running water— but it never hurt to be careful. Once she was satisfied, she headed back to the kitchen to fill some more pots and light a few candles. 

Marie lived in relative isolation. It didn’t bother her very much— she wasn’t really a people person anyway. Living this far from town could be lonely sometimes though. It had become especially tough on her social life ever since her friends in the city started refusing to visit… but that was okay. It wasn’t like she was ever really alone. 

Looking out the window, through the falling hail and past the first line of trees, she could see it. Even in the dark, it was watching over her. Sometimes it brought her gifts. Things like little wicker dolls, animal bones, or severed fingers. SOmetimes she gifted it things in return— like her friend, Avery. 

Ding!

Oh. It looked like her water was done boiling. Marie spared the creature one last glance before heading back to the kitchen. She slowly poured the water from the kettle into her teacup, watching the tea leaves that had rested at the bottom swirl around as she did. She set her timer again for five minutes. That would be a good amount of time to let it sit. 

She returned to her spot by the window, looking out only to find that it had gone. She frowned. That was odd. Ever since she’d arrived here, she’d always been able to see it in the corner of her eye, watching her. She searched for it, because it had to be there. It wouldn’t make sense for it not to be. Through the glass, the hail, and the darkness, she allowed her eyes to catch on every flickering shadow, hoping to find it. Alas, nothing. 

She sighed, giving up on her search and instead picking up her book from the coffee table and sitting down to read. She was sure it would turn up soon enough.

She didn’t get very far into her book before every light in the cabin switched off. The power had finally gone out. Well, it was a good thing she had lit all those candles earlier. If she hadn’t, she wouldn’t be able to see anything at all. Unfortunately, it was still too dark to read without straining her eyes. 

Ding!

Oh. Her tea was ready. Sighing, she set her book down and shot one last look out the window. Nothing. 

She walked back to the kitchen, feeling dejected. She turned the timer off, gathered her teacup in her hands, and blew away the steam. She returned to the couch, but just before she could sit down, three sharp, evenly spaced knocks sounded from the cabin door. 

Confused, Marie set her tea on the table beside her, and walked over to the door. She hesitated for a moment before undoing the latch and slowly opening the door. … And there it stood, waiting for her.

It seemed the creature wanted to come inside.

#my writing #flash fiction #A Cozy Cabin Night #re write #writing #writblr

[twelvemagpies]

oh hell, y'all

i think this is all (?) of the possible emojis, so i'm just gonna answer them all under a cut

💖 What is your primary writing goal for this year?

to actually enjoy writing again! in 2021 and the first bit of 2022, writing became yet another obligation for me to get done, and i tried to be fine with it by justifying it as being the one thing that was an obligation i had to myself as opposed to everything else. which is ofc obviously a totally normal and perfectly reasonable way to approach something

i finally had to bully myself into just flat-out Not Writing—not opening or looking at or starting anything until i actually wanted and was looking forward to writing again. which is a point i’ve reached, thank fuck, so this year i really want to approach writing as a thing i actually enjoy and something i can do for myself in the midst of the rest of the shitshow i have going on

🛳 Are there any new ships you want to write for? (Platonic, romantic, or anything in between.)

no ships i’m specifically wanting to, tbh (but since i’m looking forward to writing for new fandoms, i’m obvs looking forward to writing ships in them)

🤔 Are there any new characters you want to write about?

writing bruce wayne is gonna be interesting, i think

🥸 Does anyone in IRL know you write fanfic or original fiction? If not, do you plan on telling anyone this year?

actually, fewer people know i had original shit than fic! most of my friends irl are people i met through fandom and fic to begin with. people irl who don’t know i write are people i don’t share anything about my life with anyway

🥵 Any plans to write steamy or spicy content this year?

more than likely fjdklfsfds

👻 Is there a new genre you’d like to write?

might fuck around with horror

🦄 Is there a new POV you’d like to try writing?

not in particular? though a thousand years ago i wrote some second-person POV stuff that i quite liked, so i might try my hand at that again

🐌 What is one of your smallest writing goals?

to actually write!

🦖 Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you’d like to return to?

oh hell yeah, i’ve got a shitwack of witcher and hobbit stuff, plus yyh and ygo stuff i’d like to clear out of my drafts eventually

🍄 Are there any fandoms you’ve never written for but want to try?

fjdklfsfd i’ve got drafts now for shit i never thought i’d write for, so i’m gonna go with dc(e)u and merlin even though i technically have something written for them already

🌈 What research do you plan on doing for your writing?

this is my favourite question bc it implies that i ever plan on doing research at all.....90% of the time, i get ideas for fics bc i’m already looking up something anyway for funsies

✨ What’s one area of your writing that you think needs the least amount of improvement?

I’m definitely never hurting for fic ideas! blessing and a curse, lmao

🥕 What’s one area of your writing that you think needs the most amount of improvement?

i don’t know if it’s a writing thing exactly, but i need to chill tf out if i don’t get done exactly what i plan to for a fic/writing stint/etc, bc this is something i enjoy and not another thing i’m Beholden To

🫘 Spill the beans. What’s a new project you’re doing this year?

it’s not exactly a new project by any means, considering i started drafting it in fucking 2021, but i have this massive witcher au fic that i told myself i was absolutely never gonna write.........and then i outlined and wrote shit for 27 chapters and vague ideas for a sequel, so. uh. would be cool as hell if i could start posting that this year!

🥳 How are you going to celebrate when you achieve one of your writing goals?

well fjdklfs first i think i gotta not Die Inside if i don’t meet a goal, which i’m gonna call a celebration in and of itself

🎃 Do you plan on writing any seasonal fics?

not really! i think i have a few fics that are set in Specific Seasons, but none of them are really seasonal

🐾 Do you plan on writing for any fests or competitions?

not this year :/ last year i told myself i wasn’t gonna do any fests/bangs......and i didn’t, but also i didn’t really write so i don’t think it counts. plus for the last few bangs have just been so deeply cursed for me! like the wildest shit has gone wrong during them that i’m gonna give it a minute before i do another one

✍️ Which stat matters most to you (if at all!): subscriptions, kudos/favorites, comments, bookmarks, word count, or hits?

none of them really matter to me any more than the others, tbh!

👾 Do you have any “bad” writing habits you want to break?

setting wildly unreasonable writing goals, like things that i can accomplish, but just burn me the fuck out or are set for an unreasonable checkpoint or arbitrary deadline

🤖 Are you looking to change your current writing setup? (Or establish one, if you don’t have one?)

i’m gonna try to be better about setting time aside to write! which actually means that i gotta be better about setting time to do everything else and leaving myself time to write. i have a hard time leaving my work at work (and my work has......a very hard time being left at work, lmao), which then eats into time i need to do shit around the house and other stuff, which then obviously i need to do before i can write, and then it’s two in the fucking morning and i have to be up at six

🦷 Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you’re dreading to write (but is necessary to your plot)? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

it’s from that big witcher au :/ it’s not the first bit of Big Exposition that i need to do, but it’s just so fucking clunky

💥 Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you’re most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

i had a really hard time picking something, which i’m taking as a good sign! but this is from a tmfu fic that i’ll.......theoretically......post this year

🍕 Will you be making any changes to your posting schedule (if you have one)? (Or do you want to establish a posting schedule?)

love posting schedules! would love to have one someday! but tbqh i’d like to post a fic a month this coming year, so we’ll see how that goes. (well ideally i’d like to churn something out every couple of weeks, but i’m also trying to have Realistic Expectations for myself)

🛏 Is there a new trope you’d like to write this year?

nothing specific, tbh!

🪩 Do you have any “good” writing habits you want to cultivate?

my outlining/editing system is pretty decent, so i want to get into the swing of writing again to work on to organize all my new shit in a way that makes sense

🎉 How are you going to be kind to yourself if you don’t meet your goals?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i will. be very chill about it. it will be fine and i’ll just adjust my goals. :)

💌 Are you willing to take requests or prompts for writing?

i figure i gotta first actually get some ancient fucking drafts done and out before i commit to prompts.....but maybe eventually!

#ask meme #i think a couple of the emojis don't match exactly so i'm just assuming which questions they're for #every time i reblog an ask meme thing and then actually get asks i forget everything about myself this took me three hours fjdklfs #also i'm mildly pleased with how well those asks all lined up when i slapped them into one image #tire fire talks back

[me-uglypretty]

NONONONO THANK YOU but also like how dare you cause i haven’t been able to watch anymore until now and it’s all i’ve legit been able to think about

but yeah no the suspense is for real and i totally get what you’re saying! there’s definitely not been a superhero based type of show (that comes to my mind atm) with this type of suspense! it’s always about the suspense of if the hero will make it or who finds out about the hero type of vibe, but the suspense of this show is more thriller like vibes for sure. the quality of the show is so good too! i’m very confused as to why this show didn’t have more hype when it aired!?!?

(omg wait major throwback- but runaways is giving me the same vibes as a nickelodeon show called house of anubis! it was a small silly little show that barely anyone knew of but i ate that shit up and the suspense vibes from that kids show was insanely good)

ANYWAYS, yes! molly needs to be protected at all costs!! if anyone messes with her they’ll have to go through me first! ! ! !

((is it ever truly a friends to lovers arc if there isn’t anything problematic happening though? especially if it’s happening in the marvel universe ? ex: fitzsimmons from agents of shield))

(((OMG I WILL GLADLY GIVE ALL THE INPUTS IM SO FREAKING EXCITED NOW AND THAT’D BE COOL IF YOU REWATCHED IT TOO BUT YOU ALSO DON’T HAVE TOO IF YOU DONT WANT TO, NO PRESSURE ik rewatching shows takes up a lot of time cause i tend to do that)))

((((lol thanks! nicknames are a forte of mine if i do say so myself, if you don’t believe me just ask my pets and their million names))))

(((((wow, sorry that was very long)))))

((((((also be prepared for more in of the put from yours truly))))))

(((((((okay one last thing i promise, how are we feeling about the parentheses? is it annoying? should i do bullet points instead?)))))))

~ input runaway anon

THE SHOW WAS SLEPT ON! IT DIDN’T GET ENOUGH PROMO OR ACKNOWLEDGEMENT EVEN WHEN THE LEAD IS LITERALLY A GLOWING LESBIAN??? All my fav show ends up being underrated or cancelled. Am I cursed with loving shows like that or characters who ends up d wording??? Maybe.

(HOUSE OF ANUBIS??? YOU MEAN *COVERS ONE EYE WITH HAND*??? i used to watch that show every night like I NEEDED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS and did that sign like it was normal. I get what you’re saying, but the difference between the two…like I know I would be cracking my head if I ever rewatch house of anubis, and just complain about all the things that didn’t make sense but still eat it up)

((For me, it all started with Jade and Tori from Victorious like they were the founding mothers of the lgbtq+ to me, or just mostly the writers who wrote fan fictions about them. marvel are cowards is all I say to the amount of things they ignore))

(((I’VE JUST STARTED REWATCHING AGENT OF CARTER CAUSE I’M MISSING HER HOURS but I’m gonna go rewatch runaways soon cause I’ve been missing smol Nico and tall glowing Karolina and the best part of the show that I'm not sure you've seen yet??))) 

((((YOUR INPUTS ARE IMPORTANT, INPUT RUNAWAY ANON! And I have lots of nicknames for my pets too. Give all your emotions in any way easy for you!! I’m just here to go cap locks with you and scream about runaways or anything else like why does the good show and character always end))))

#me-uglypretty answers #input runaway anon

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Dimitrescu Daughter HCs

I thought this would only take a few minutes. I was so, so very wrong. Anyway, some of these are somewhat exclusive to my fic (Serenade), but they’ll make sense even if you haven’t read that.

Daniela:

Others have already talked about how Daniela reads a ton of romance novels, so I’m not really going to go into that very much, just saying that I agree 100%, I mean c’mon, it’s practically canon.

While she mainly sources books from her family’s library, there are a few she’s “acquired” over the years that she keeps locked away in her room. These tend to be a bit, ahem, steamier than her mother would approve of/let her read under normal circumstances.

How did she get these? Well, there has to be someone who delivers goods to Castle Dimitrescu (Duke, perhaps?), seeing as the Maidens need, like, actual food to survive. Sometimes Daniela manages to convince them to order books for her, usually just asking for books by authors she likes, or ones she’s heard maidens whispering about.

No, the delivery person does not read the book’s summaries or reviews, they have a feeling (based on titles and covers alone) that they don’t want to know.

As for her experiences with actual romance… she’s so very, very excited about it, all the time. Wants to kiss every cute Maiden she sees, and sometimes daydreams about a beautiful woman fleeing from lycans who comes to the castle for shelter, clinging to Dani for warmth and protection, and it’s love at first sight, and they kiss and kiss and right as it gets to the good part-! Someone interrupts her daydream (usually Cassandra).

However, her actual experiences are fairly limited. Sure, she has kissed Maidens, but she tends to get over excited. Like in Serenade, she starts to rush the process, and usually ends up draining her “lover” aka victim before anything more intimate happens.

She’s definitely done sexual things, just, well, not with other people. Private things. Usually during or after reading one of her special books. You get the picture.

Because of this, and her aforementioned love of romance novels, Daniela has become somewhat obsessed with the idea of her first time. She wants everything to be perfect. The setting, the timing, who she’s with… Hence her reaction in chapter 3 of Serenade. It’s not that she didn’t want to continue, just that the circumstances didn’t feel right. She’s very particular!

Favorite Music Genre: Girl goes wild for an emotional, gut-wrenching love/power ballad. The type to lie in bed and cry while listening to Hozier or Lorde (not that she can hear either of them, considering her limited music options). Doesn’t admit it, though, and mostly listens to indie pop when other people can hear. That and whatever the Maiden plays on piano ;)

Okay it feels weird to joke about her loving music I wrote, anywayyyy

Hobbies: Other than reading there’s not too much I can see her doing, really. She’d be sure to get into anything that her s/o enjoys, though, even if it’s something difficult or time-consuming. Writing is something she’d love, but it’s difficult for her to keep her focus on just one project at a time. Ideally she’d write short stories, romantic ones obvs, and have someone else proofread/edit them. For the most part she’d write within fantasy and historical setting (seeing as she’s got experience in both of those departments).

ADHD, BABY. Bigtime, seriously. Maybe this is just my adhd ass projecting, but I can’t not see her as having it. For her it mainly manifests with hyper-focusing/difficulty staying on task. It’s like a switch with those on either end, flipping back and forth every once in a while. She can spend six hours reading two different books in one sitting, but if someone just breathes too loudly it disrupts her completely. Because of this she’s somewhat prone to abandoning projects. It’s a sore subject for her, and her sisters are aware, normally only bringing it up if they’re really angry with her.

Opinions on the four lords: Thinks Heisenberg is a tool (pun intended), also thinks that he secretly reads super erotic novels. She doesn’t have any proof, though, and would never say anything about it out loud. Just makes fun of him in her head. Doesn’t actually judge him for what she thinks he reads, just judges his personality and the “need he feels to hide his secret”. Loves Donna, and low-key thinks she’s attractive. Daniela mostly bases that off the portrait she’s seen, but, like many fans, also thinks the hands are nice. The puppets don’t bother her, though she also doesn’t really care about them, other than thinking that Donna interacting with them is cute.

Opinions continued: Moreau is… uh… fish boy. Daniela thinks he’s weird, kinda gross, and hardly considers him a “real” lord. Poor boy :(  At least she doesn’t actively make fun of him?... Even if that’s only because she kinda forgets about him most of the time. As for Lady Dimitrescu, well, obviously Daniela loves her mom. The whole family is very close, and as the “youngest”, Daniela gets a lot of attention. Sometimes she thinks her mother is too strict, but at the end of the day there’s no love lost.

Bela:

Cleans up after her sisters a lot, but still nowhere near as much as any of the Maidens do. Often agrees to help with messes in exchange for blackmail material. “Oh, Daniela, what a shame you broke mother’s favorite dish… I could help, but you owe me one.” At the end of the day, though, there’s plenty she would slide.

Being the “oldest”, she’s expected to behave the best, and often feels more restricted than her sisters. Being an example is hard! Occasionally she’ll have the impulse to rebel, but this usually only manifests in scenarios like the one mentioned above, aka she’ll simply be more lenient of her siblings for a bit.

Overall far less sadistic than her sisters. Cares more about the quality of pain then the amount of it. Only ever goes overboard if someone full out threatens or hurts her family. Insults towards them still earn her ire, and will get her to punish someone, but it’s not enough to make her resort to torture. Usually.

Gets the most restless out of the three. As cool (and large) as the castle is, it’s all she’s ever really known. If not for her weakness to cold, she’d go out on hikes a lot. Nature interests her, fascinates her, but she’d be a little less fond of most of it in person. Like, oh, waterfalls sound so cool, followed by a hundred complaints about the noise. Thinks deer are the cutest shit ever (second only to humans, maybe).

Unlike Daniela (though that HC is relevant almost exclusively to Serenade), Bela has actually slept with a Maiden before. She doesn’t really care for them enough to consider it a relationship, instead admiring them for their entertainment value. Definitely could fall for a Maiden, simply hasn’t yet. Of the three I feel like she takes the longest to fall in love, and even longer to actually act on her feelings. Sometimes resents her siblings because they unknowingly “claimed” a Maiden that she was starting to be interested in. However, she fully acknowledges that she should have said something if she didn’t want to lose the girl, considering the situation they live in.

Favorite music genre: Classical, full orchestra style, with a soft spot for swing/jazz. Enjoys having music play softly while she reads, and is very particular about the volume. Absolutely would argue with her sisters if they tried to change the music or turn it up.

Hobbies: Reading, duh. Less interested in romance than Daniela by a considerable amount. For the most part she reads non-fiction books, enjoying learning about history and the sciences. Astronomy is at the top of her favorites list, followed by biology, then obscure (and often bloody) pieces of history. Niche=perfect. Also enjoys music, even if she had to rely mostly on self-teaching books. Knows the basics of piano, but doesn’t actively play, much preferring both the violin and harp. Most of the time she’ll only play if she knows her sisters won’t bother her, or if her mother asks her to.

Opinions on the four lords: Admires Heisenberg’s work/his edgenuity, but thinks the actual man is a temperamental child… who smells like wet dog. He’s only been at Castle Dimitrescu a couple times (per Mother Miranda’s request), and both times Bela moved to the other side of the house so she wouldn’t have to acknowledge his existence. While she would never admit it, she’s low-key creeped out by Donna’s dolls, and really only tolerates Angie. However, she would never act on her nerves, out of consideration for Donna’s feelings. She knows that her mother gets along well with the dollmaker, and keeps this at the forefront of her mind.

Opinions continued: “Moreau who? Oh, the fish guy? He’s still alive?... Good for him.” Wants to make Lady Dimitrescu proud, but not as desperately as Cassandra. Unknowingly mimics a lot of her mother’s little habits and ticks, and would be quietly embarrassed if someone pointed it out to her. As mentioned previously, she feels like she has to be an example for the others, and somewhat resents the pressure this puts on her. On the other hand, she does enjoy being “responsible for” (read: in charge of) her sisters. Additionally, she is the most likely to get away with lying to Alcina, though she does not often do so. This isn’t because she’s the most manipulative (that’s Cass), or the best liar (that’s Dani, if she’s trying), but simply because Alcina doesn’t think her oldest daughter would lie. Even if she doubts something Bela says, she’ll usually give her the benefit of the doubt… as long as it doesn’t happen very often.

Cassandra:

Sleeps the most of the three, if only because she’s the most active of them. Not as fast as the others while in swarm mode, but the fastest on foot, partially because she’s more likely to simply walk places. She knows the sound of feet on the floor scares the Maidens, and she drinks their fear with utter pleasure. Additionally she claims that it just feels nice to “stretch her legs”. But she will not hesitate to enter swarm mode when chasing someone. As fun as it is to smell their fear, she can get impatient, wanting to get close and personal to her target.

Tends to hide most of her feelings, sometimes even opting to “convert” them into anger. In other words, think of her emotional state as an ever-filling bottle of water. As things happen, she feels emotions, and the rate at which water pours into the bottle increases. Ideally if the water level started getting too high, she would address whatever is increasing the flow of water. Instead of that, she often uses anger, which is equivalent to shaking the bottle a bit and letting water messily spill out of it. Doesn’t address the actual problem, but let’s her release some pressure/free up some room.

Goes through Maidens faster than her siblings (yes, even Daniela “draining you of blood is romantic” Dimitrescu). Not all of them even die in the basement, sometimes what was supposed to be a “warning” turns into “oh shit the blood won’t stop coming out, this is how I die, in this accursed castle, no friends or family to mourn me, just the painful knowledge that I will not be the last, I will die for no cause, no glory, just the bitter whims of a blood-soaked mistress” or something along those lines.

While more likely to get attached to someone than Bela, Cassandra isn’t one to do much about it. She might flirt, might even try to kiss (or, uh, kiss while also not wearing clothes wink wink), but she won’t (usually) claim someone as her own, or protest if one of her sisters wants to have some fun with them (even if it’s the bloody kind of fun). Technically gets over breakups and “breakups” (i.e. death) easier than either of her sisters. To be fully accurate, Daniela still goes through lovers faster, but she also remembers them and cares for them for longer post-breakup.

Somewhat of a blood kink. Like, more than vampires automatically have. In intimate settings she cares more about the quantity of blood and what she can do with it (loves bloodstains) than what causes the bloodshed.

Favorite music genre: Rock ‘n roll. Leans towards older stuff, as well as heavier songs. Soft spot for symphonic metal, but doesn’t admit it out of the fear that some might consider it a “weaker form” of the genre. Almost exclusively listens to bands that have female vocalists, and gets crushes on them more than she’d ever admit.

Hobbies: Art! Painting, mostly, but dabbles in sculpture from time to time. It’s been too long since I took an art class for me to suggest a style for her paintings, but I imagine her sculptures would be somewhat abstract. Her art would revolve around emotion, the stronger and rawer the better, with viewers often being left uncomfortable. While Alcina buys plenty of art supplies for her, Cassandra is fond of improvising, especially by creating her own “tools” (of questionable efficiency) out of items she has laying around. She is absolutely the one who took her mother’s lipstick. If you don’t know what that means, don’t worry, it’s just mentioned in one of the RE8 notes that Lady Dimitrescu’s valuable lipstick is missing.

Opinions on the four lords: Tolerates Heisenberg more than the rest of her family by a considerable amount. She’s seen glimpses of his work, his steampunk-adjacent style, and actually kind of digs it. While Bela cares more about the science behind his work, Cassandra just digs the aesthetic. Sometimes for her art she also needs things she can’t get from the castle, and are too obscure to get from a merchant, so she trades tools/ideas with Heisenberg in exchange for him making something for her. “Can you make a battery but whenever it’s in use it makes a horrible screaming sound?” “Yes. PS I hate your mother and Miranda.” “I didn’t fucking ask.”

Opinions continued: Doesn’t really care much about Donna, but acknowledges her as a fellow artist, and would be willing to consult her if she talked more (and talked without Angie). Cassandra hasn’t met Moreau, thankfully (he would cry). Knows about him from her sister/mother, and as a result doesn’t care about him. Internally whenever someone mentions him, she pictures, like, a Goldfish Cracker (the snack that smiles back) with legs except also it’s green and moldy.

Opinions cont.: Loves her mother so much. Determined to please her, to make her proud, but often left feeling less loved than her sisters. This strains her relationship with her family, not that she’d ever voice her feelings and talk through the issue. Let’s be real, Alcina would probably feel guilty for not realizing how Cass felt. Nonetheless, Cassandra probably spends the most time with her mother, often offering to assist her with tasks, or trying to get her to appreciate her art.

#resident evil: village #daniela dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #dimitrescu family

[interact-if]

I’m sending this in because it seems like I could get good opinions from not only you but also the people who follow you. I have an idea for an IF, and I’m very excited for the story. My question is, would people be offended if I made the playable MC physically female that identifies as female and all the ROs physically male that identify as male? I have seen some out there that are strictly M/M or F/F, and I’m so happy they exist because I feel that population is underserved. I just feel, not having the experience, I could bring justice to writing LGBTQ+ (and I don’t want to offend anyone in that community by writing something incorrect), mostly when it comes to sex (which I plan on including in my game). I support games that have those relationships in them and admire them, even play those games, and I don’t care who plays my game. The more the merrier! I still want the characters to be diverse. One of them will be of a descent that is based on Japanese culture and many others, based on Persian culture. I also want the playable MC to have any skin tone/features the player wants. I just want to know if this…will have people coming after me? I want to tell my story, but I don’t want to be attacked for it, if that makes sense?

I really don’t mean to offend anyone. I just don’t want to cause trouble, and I just want to respectfully ask for people’s opinions on this.

Hello! So, before diving into our response, we’d like to emphasize that we are but five individuals running a blog devoted to interactive fiction. We are neither the end-all-be-all voice on this matter nor necessarily a representative mouthpiece for the community.

First off, you can write whatever you would like to write; as the author, you have absolute control over what you produce, so nobody is going to stop you from writing what you want to write. It’s also important to write what you enjoy.

That said, the community is, in our experience, very inclusive, and largely devoted to providing a space for the queer community. We can understand the desire to have an appropriately inclusive and diverse game, and why you particularly want to turn to characters of color to bridge the gap; however, substituting characters of color for queer characters to claim diversity in a project is possibly something that will receive the wrong kind of attention. Furthermore, assuming that writing characters of color well is any less complex than writing queer characters potentially suggests that said characters could end up underdeveloped or tokenized. (See Nines' and Roast’s response below for more context)

All of that doesn’t mean you can’t make a game that’s genderlocked and restricted to M/F romance, and I don’t think anyone will be offended by such a game, but it might limit your audience. At the same time, there are (many) other visual novels that have this format, so it’s not something unheard of. As far as CoGs and text-based games go, as far as we’ve seen, they are rarely genderlocked unless for plot reasons, etc.

There is also a chance that you may receive feedback requesting that the MC be un-gender locked, or for additional ROs to be added of different gender, or for the ROs to be made gender selectable. These requests may be gentle, insistent, kind, or aggressive, and they may only occur at the beginning of your work, or may occur throughout your game development. Maybe they’ll never happen at all. It’s impossible to predict the future, but in our experience, we have often seen this occur to games in the past with RO gender imbalances, locks, etc.

As for searching for feedback, if you’re looking for feedback but you’re not pursuing the CoG format, may we suggest the Reddit subforum? It’s a little difficult for you to get the feedback/dialogue going here that you’d likely like to get, so Reddit’s format may be more conducive to your needs.

In the meanwhile, those who would like to provide their thoughts are encouraged to respond in the comments of this post. Please remember to be polite with your discussion!

— — —

The above is our general mod response; a few of us wanted to offer some individual thoughts as well, and those can be found below. These are personal opinions and reflect each individual mod’s thoughts, rather than a collective response.

While it can be a little daunting to write about something you’re not familiar with, writing often broaches topics with which we don’t personally have first-hand experience. Additionally, queer relationships are ultimately still relationships between people—they’re not all that different from heterosexual relationships. If you’re worried about the way you’re portraying your content, that’s something well-curated beta readers/testers (from the population you’re trying to represent) can help test for, and give feedback on. And on top of all of the above, that’s not to mention the potential issues associated with substituting in POC to replace queer people, which is perhaps not what your intention is, but is what it feels like your intention is (see Roast and Nines for all the ins and outs on why this is an issue). Ultimately, I stand by the opinion that on the most basic level, most will not be offended by a game that’s about a straight, cisgender female MC—yet some, or even many, may be off-put by such a game. I know I, personally, am. (P. S. Also consider that the MC has to interact with the other ROs that she isn’t romancing, as friends, enemies, acquaintances, what have you—having selectable ROs, for example, also allows the player to “diversify” their acquaintance group, if they so wish.) — Dani

I understand that this ask is coming from well-meaning intent but I would just like to state that writing characters of color is not easier than writing queer characters. One of them isn't a substitute for the other. Writing characters of color and writing queer characters are separate matters entirely, and both come with its own difficulties. Wanting your characters to be diverse, while admittedly lacking the perspective to back such identities, is still a murky water to navigate.

Personally speaking, and I really do have to be transparent about this, the way certain sentences were phrased in this ask rubbed me the wrong way. Still, I understand that this isn't malicious, just someone who is asking for guidance, which is something I can't fault. We all have to start somewhere, you know? That being said, if you really want to write diverse characters, my general advice is to do research. Lots and lots and lots of research. No author is exempt from that, honestly.

Find helpful articles, journals, studies, video essays, etc. to aid you in writing your characters. If you still feel like that's lacking in some way, which is a valid concern, being open to feedback from the appropriate people is also a good way to improve. The integrity of a project is important, but so is reasonable criticism against, for, or about it. Keep an open mind, educate yourself, and don't be afraid to ask for help or clarification should it be needed. — Nines

Nines says it well that queer people and poc are not interchangeable nor any 'easier' than the other. The fact that you're willing to do research and include characters of color yet not include queer characters tells me that you're afraid yet misconstruing how much effort actually gets put into cultural research.

There is a 'purity culture' that goes around tumblr that claims that diverse characters have to be perfect, have to have no flaws, cannot die, cannot have trauma, cannot face adversity, they must be perfect and good and happy.

I think this is bullshit.

I also think the backlash from this 'purity culture' community is what is creating so much fear in authors (including queer authors!!) in making characters with different backgrounds and identities than their own. In making queer characters with flaws and tragedy and negative characteristics.

If we only ever wrote what we knew, what we've personally experienced, fiction would be a very boring world.

Being afraid of representing a community wrong is a valid fear, but it shouldn't stop you from trying. You can write what you want to write, but it shouldn't be limited by fear.

Do your research. Get sensitivity readers. Be open to feedback. Be willing to be afraid, but do it anyway.

If, in the end, you decide to gender lock, make it an informed decision at the very least, and if you are including characters of color, know that that is a heavy amount of research too, and should be handled with the same care as what we've said on queer characters.

And like we've said before, we are not the voice of the community, we cannot give you permission or our blessing or flawless feedback, we are just five people running a blog. — Roast

Alright this was already mentioned a bit before but I wish to add my two cents: M/F relationships are the norm anywhere else in real life, and if you feel like there's no space for you and your relationships in a mostly-queer community then you might want to recheck if this is the community you wish to have as your target audience.

No one's going to be offended if your story is cishet, as we said, but you are extremely reducing your audience by doing such. The appeal of interactive fiction is that a good bunch of us have played female-mc-straight-love-interest visual novels in the past, having to endure being misgendered or romancing people we might not be attracted to.

The current interactive fiction community we're trying to promote has opened a million doors for everyone to explore themselves, so don't be surprised if your story, no matter how good, is ignored due to this aspect. Most of us have no interest in being forced to play as something we're not.

Again, we cannot tell you what you can or cannot do. We don't speak for the community, we speak for ourselves and for this blog. Maybe every comment we've made was incorrect and your game turns out to be successful, really, but it's what we believe you should keep in mind. — Cruz

Honestly, I don’t have much to add since everyone here mentioned and discussed important facets of this ask! At the end of the day, we are not a group who can or will ever dictate what you can or cannot write. That is not the purpose of the blog or the reason why we’re working as hard as we are. 

There have always been games with this specific set of characteristics: gender locked MCs and/or ROs. Some people may enjoy it, others may not, for whatever reason. 

Unfortunately, we cannot guarantee anything in terms of how people will respond to a game, because people will react to content differently. All we can do is offer our perspective and the potential things that may happen in the future based on the experience the lovely devs above have had. (fellow interact-if mods, my beloved ❤️)

It’s always admirable for people to reach out when they’re unsure, and I’m sure there are infinitely more opinions that vary or are similar to the ones in this response. But there you have it, some of our thoughts! 

Goodluck with your project! — Mars

#interact-if asks #anonymous #long post

[detectivegumshoepals]

Some Behind-the-Scenes Turnabout Dishwasher stuff if anyone is interested

Now that I've had a semi-okay night's rest, I can finally talk about some Turnabout Dishwasher things. First of all, I'm in absolute awe from all the kind things people have said in their tags while reblogging my promo post. I was a little stressed last night after I posted the final chapter, so that's really made me feel better.

In any case, some background stuff on the story:

When the Trilogy came out on Switch in spring of 2019, I decided to replay all of the games again in chronological order, finishing with my first ever playthrough of SoJ. While I was going through them (especially while replaying Investigations 2), I decided to start recording my headcanons and fic ideas into voice memos after work every day. Eventually that turned into transcribing them all and trying to organize all of those notes into a timeline. I ended up with 3 different fic ideas: a Narumitsu fic, a Raymond Shields fic, and a joint Klapollo/Blackmadhi fic. To this day I have no idea why I decided to combine all of those things. But it happened. I fuckin combined them. Also as a side note, by Chapter 32, I had transcribed over 400 voice memos.

Ever since I was 11 and wrote shitty Pokemon fanfic, I've always written in "script" format, with piles and PILES of dialogue. I'm not a trained writer (and the only fiction I read is fanfic lmao), so that format is really the only comfortable way I know how to write. When I first started turning my transcribed audio notes into anything resembling a "story", it originally looked like this:

As you can imagine, that's not a very easy thing to turn into a publishable fanfic. I actually never intended to publish it at first, because I hadn't published (or written) any fanfic since 2008 when I wrote terrible Wolfstar stories on livejournal.

THEN in March of 2020 I finally finished my first playthrough of SoJ, ending with Turnabout Time Traveler. It's not a particularly great case by any means, but the fact that Miles and Phoenix talk about weddings had me like "shit I need them to talk about weddings A LOT more". So I wrote "Thought Provoking". It of course was completely in script format, but I still really wanted to publish it. So I tried out the "text box" thing using Photoshop. It allowed me to cut corners a bit by not having to write out any "she said" or "he thought", which is something I never learned how to do well because, like I said, I've only every written in "script" format.

So yeah, chapter 1 of Turnabout Dishwasher eventually started to look like this:

which is a lot easier to turn into "text boxes". The text boxes themselves take about 7 hours per chapter to make, and then another 2 hours to link them to AO3.

The absolute bane of my existence is that AO3 isn't able to detect the images as text, so my AO3 word count is always cut in half. I know there are ways to code it, but with the amount of dialogue I have, that wasn't really feasible. By the end of my story, I had amassed 14,500 dialogue box image files for Turnabout Dishwasher alone.

So anyway, when I posted chapter 1, I accidentally published it in the middle of Narumitsu week 2020, and my draft was also accidentally backdated. So it didn't really get a lot of visibility. But I kept plugging away at it and I'm really glad I did.

Also, I originally planned on combining the Klapollo and Blackmadhi parts, thinking they would be small, occasional additions to the story. SOMEHOW it turned into Klapollo and Blackmadhi having completely separate chapters. I'm glad I made that decision though, because I was able to tell full stories about all four of those characters.

I don't really know what else to say about this story right now, other than that I've been so grateful to everyone who has read it. I'm probably going to take a long break from writing AA fic for now. But I do have plans for some Turnabout Dishwasher "bonus content" in the future.

If there's anything else you want to know about my story, please feel free to ask!

#turnabout dishwasher; #my fanfics; #my fanfiction;

[sloppyplanetary]

Holding On to Fate, Chapter One

rating: mature (smut later), pairing: rick sanchez/morty smith, tags: memory loss, angst, summer knows, intergalactic road trip, content warnings: drinking, puking implied,

Morty groaned, face contorting into a grimace as he slowly woke up to a pounding headache. Sleep dragged at his eyelids, protesting the morning light shining through his bedroom window. He really didn't want to wake up- he was having such a good dream. The dream was already fading from his memory, but the warmth of a body, the feeling of security, and lingering rough fingers drawing patterns on his back remained, a much better alternative to Morty's current dry mouth and throbbing head.

But, all good things must come to an end. His mom opened his door and softly called his name.

"Morty? You awake?"

He rubbed his face and cracked open his eyes begrudgingly. "Barely." 

Beth's brow was pinched, face displaying a rare level of concern. She opened the door wider, and spoke quietly. "Hey, if you want to take today off from school, you can." She paused, seeming to debate her next words. "You don't have to talk about it. But remember, I know how it feels." 

Morty held in a snort as she left the room. He doesn't remember much of anything that happened last night, but his hangover made it obvious. Of course she knows how it feels, with all the wine she drinks. 

Morty felt a wave of bitterness. It was nice of her to not bug him about school, but she didn't even question why her sixteen year old son got drunk last night. Wait- why did he get drunk? He tried to remember what happened yesterday, but was hit with a fresh wave of nausea, barely jerking out of his bed and into his bathroom on time. 

Fifteen minutes later, he padded downstairs with a freshly brushed mouth in search of advil. The family was seated at the kitchen table, and their conversation abruptly stopped as soon as he rounded the corner. They all looked up at him, Summer off of her phone. 

"W-what?" Morty demanded, his patience wearing thin from dealing with his pounding head.

Summer raised her eyebrows. "Surprised you're still here."

"Where else would I- would I be? Mom gave me the day off of school." He took a seat across from Summer, noticing for the first time how big the kitchen table was. Surely they didn't need that many chairs- it was only the four of them, after all.

She opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by Beth hissing her name. Summer shot her a glare, and Jerry, sensing the rising tension, spoke up. 

"Well I, for one, am glad you're okay, you’re doing okay. Have some pancakes,” he said, gesturing to the stack on the table.

Morty glanced between Beth and Summer, who were still having an argument through facial expressions only, but he was too tired to deal with this. He grabbed a few pancakes and started eating them, tuning out the room. His mind wandered back to yesterday, trying to grab onto the last thing he remembered, but his head still hurt too much. Suddenly, the chair next to him being empty made him uneasy. He really just wanted to go lay back down and nap. Sighing, he pushed his half-eaten plate away and stood up.

“Wait,” Beth said. She went to the kitchen and returned with a blue gatorade and two small pills, holding it out to him. “Take these and drink this, it’ll help.”

Morty stared at it, a pit in his stomach telling him not to drink it, the color making his head swim worse. “Do we have any other flavors?”

Beth retracted her hand in surprise. “This is your favorite type. It has been for years.”

“Sometimes thing just- they just change,” Morty replied with a shrug.

Beth nodded and switched it out for a purple one. This time, Morty accepted it, and chugged half of it in one go. “Thanks, Mom. I’m going back to bed.” He slowly made his way back up the stairs, pulled his curtains shut, and fell into bed, only to land on something hard. He shook his blanket out to discover a strange small metal flask, the sight of which triggered another throb of his head. The empty flask got tossed across the room into the dirty clothes pile, and Morty finally laid down, sleep quickly reclaiming him.

*****

Morty still couldn’t remember what happened that day, and it made him a bit uneasy, but he wrote it off as getting black-out drunk. His headache faded, and he was back at school, going through the classes on rote. His nights were spent playing video games and watching t.v., but the feeling that something was missing from his routine lingered each night as he tried to sleep. Sleep was hard to come by, and his dreams kept repeating, fading as soon as he woke up but leaving those same feelings of comfort.

Summer was back to normal, Jerry was Jerry (albeit seeming happier for some reason), but Beth seemed like she was constantly tip-toeing around Morty. Her bottles of wine still made appearances at night, and occasionally, Morty would be the cause of an abrupt conversation end just by showing up in the room. It was frustrating, but he tried to ignore it.

One night, Beth cornered him, already a few glasses of wine in. "Listen, I know you don't want to talk about Rick leaving, but it hurt me too. At least he told you to your face, instead of leaving a note."

"What? W-who?" Morty asked, suddenly lightheaded.

Beth just laughed, an airy laugh that felt out of place. "Right. 'Just don't think about it'." She patted his head and walked off, still giggling.

Morty shook his head and retreated to his room. Beth's confusing behavior was worrying him a bit, and he had no clue who she was talking about, but his recurring minor headaches were worrying him more at the moment. It seems like they randomly come and go, without any obvious reason, and he was sick of it.

As he sat on his bed, his eyes landed across the room on the strange silver flask he found in his bed. His headache worsened, but this time he was angry, and stomped across the room the grab the stupid thing. He jerked it up and a splash sounded- it wasn't completely empty like he thought it was.

Curiously, he screwed open and sniffed it. It didn't smell like any alcohol he's ever smelled before, or anything familiar at all, really. It smelled like a thousand things that he's smelled before but couldn't identify now, even though he knew he hadn't. His head throbbed, but he didn't care. He had to taste it

Morty pressed his tongue to the opening and tilted it up, just looking for a drop. He quickly moved his tongue and chugged the rest of the flask when liquid practically melted on his tongue, tasting sweet and warm and comforting and almost immediately making his head stop pounding. He smiled, feeling at ease for the first time in two weeks, and laid on his pillow, empty flask in hand.

*****

Last night after the flask incident he actually got a full amount of sleep, and was staying after school in the library today, when Jessica approached him.

“Hey, Morty,” she said, smiling.

“Oh, J-Jessica! Hi.” Morty shut his book and stood up, waving at her. Maybe it was just a part of getting older, but recently, he hadn’t been getting the same waves of butterflies in his stomach that he used to get any time she came near. “What’s up?”

“Well, I’m free tomorrow, and that new science fiction movie is coming out, and I know you're like, into that stuff."

Morty nodded, confused, not remembering when he'd given her that assumption but rolling with it.

"So anyway, me and a bunch of friends are going to it, and we wanted to invite you."

A weird feeling spread through his body. It wasn't the same giddy anticipation he would've gotten a year ago, and the change threw him off. Did his crush just… go away?

"Earth to Morty," Jessica prompted.

"Haha, sorry, was trying to- to remember if I had something planned for-for tomorrow or not," Morty lied. "But I don't, so, sounds good!"

"Alright, cool! Well, I have your number, so I'll text you the deets later."

"You do?" Morty asked.

Jessica looked at him strangely. "Yeah, don't you remember that whole Healthy Morty situation?"

He didn't, but didn't want to make Jessica think he was dumb, so he nodded and laughed. "Oh yeah, that's good then! Yeah, just call- just text me whenever. Bye!" 

She waved and left the library. Morty's smile faded as she disappeared out of sight. Healthy Morty? Sci-fi enthusiast? Beth avoiding him, her saying something about someone named Rick, the strange flask, whatever Summer was going to say on that first day before she got cut off- his growing feeling of unease over the past two weeks peaked, leaving only one conclusion.

Something was wrong. Something was missing from his memories, and Beth knew what it was. Probably Summer, too. Jerry was debatable, but Morty figured his best bet was to ask Summer first. 

He grabbed his bag and nearly ran out of the library, eager to get answers.

#rick.write #rick and morty #rickorty #rickmorty #c137 cest #shipcest

[kai-uh-arcadian]

Hanahaki Disease (Pieck x Reader

Word count: 990

CW: Major character death, angst-ish, some fluff, unrequited love

A/N: Hi, I’m currently pining for someone): I have like a zero chance with her and I don’t even know if she is into girls so I wrote this to cope lmao//: any tips?? asking for a friend lolz

ANYWAYS

“Hanahaki Disease  is a fictional disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible if left untreated.”

For weeks now, there’s been this annoying painful itch in your lungs. As if hot tea went down the wrong pipe and the cough is just stuck in the back of your throat.

You thought it was some terrible cold that was seemingly indestructible because you drank an abhorrent amount of orange juice, popped multiple Alka-Seltzer Extreme Cold and Flu pills, and got enough sleep.

That was until you coughed a blue rose petal

.

Up until now, Hanahaki Disease to you was a myth-- made up to romanticize unrequited love. It’s also rare for someone to develop flowers in their lungs in the first place.

When reality hit you, your brain didn’t hesitate to give you slideshow-like flashes of who was the culprit behind the start of this silly sickness.

It was her.

The girl who sits directly behind you in ENGL 3207 on Mon/Wed/Fridays

Pieck Finger.

Ironic that you of all people have this. You have (politely and respectfully) have turned many women down in such a way that they respect/pine you even more. As someone who is very popular amongst women, you fell in love with someone who would never love you back.

This one snuck up on you-- your love being very subtle, it was the accumulation of all little things manifested into something that will kill you.

From small favours such as asking for a pencil/paper/pen, asking to be partners for discussions, buying two breakfast sandwiches(one for you and her) then telling her it was free because they messed up your order, to purposely getting B’s on assignments so you have an excuse to ask her to tutor you.

The thought of surgery crossed your mind once but it fleeted after you realized that you enjoy having a reason to wake up 30 minutes early just to pick out an outfit to attempt to “impress” Pieck. You loved this feeling of being in love and having butterflies-- if you got surgery, the infection leaves as well it rids of the feelings you had for the person who caused it. It’s too high of a price

You’ll (literally) take your quiet feelings to the grave because you know there was a -15% chance of these feelings to be reciprocated-- after seeing Pieck kiss a guy with dirty blonde hair and an undercut goodbye in the door frame before class multiple times. You aren’t bitter though, you respect their (assumed) relationship too much to even confess.

A few days pass after the initial blue flower popped out of your lungs, now you can make a full bouquet of blue roses with the ones you have now. You decided to confide in your good friend Historia to question the symbolization of it.

According to her, blue roses mean “unattainable, impossible” You couldn’t help but sarcastically chuckle at that as it did pertain to your situation very well

Not long after, lavender and white petals decided to spew out to create your pitiful bouquet

According to Miss Flower Genius: lavender means love-at-first-sight and white means youthful/innocent.

Which makes sense, you’ve been enthralled with her the second you walked into the stale lecture hall and your eyes met her sleepy ones-- which earned you a genuine grin from Pieck.

This is the first time you’ve ever felt like this.

Your symptoms worsened overtime which earned Pieck to exchange numbers with you to catch you up on assignments, lectures and daily work-- and of course to make sure you’re doing okay

After class when you weren’t there (which is beginning to become more frequent), she’d stop by and make sure you’ve properly eaten/drinken and spend a few hours there chatting about everything and nothing-- which strengthened your guys’ friendship and weakened you.. But you would choose this life a thousand times if it meant you got to spend trivial moments like this with her.

If warm smiles and beautiful ebullient laughs were the cure to this pesky sickness, she would have saved you a million times.

You decided it was best that you did classes remotely due to your disease quickening (well you have been with quite often recently)

Pieck still, if not more, visited you. Pieck is incredibly smart and pays attention to details so it’s no surprise she realizes it was her who is causing your demise. (She does not address this though)

You noticed when you two share a laugh, her smiles look so sympathetic and kind. She understands that she cannot do anything about this and you love her more for it honestly. You don’t fault her for this though, you’re ecstatic that she loves someone just enough, if not more as you love her. A tinge of jealousy surges through your body because someone (who isn’t you) is blessed with her magnificent love.

Pieck knew your days were coming to an end because the coughing fits became more frequent, you rarely have the stomach to eat, and your eyes are lackluster.

You two sat on a park bench sharing a bento when you began coughing up a white lily. This fit left you with the corners of your mouth stained with blood. Pieck gestured you to lay down and guided your head with her gentle hands onto her lap. You looked up at her. The position of her head was perfectly blocking the sun, causing her head to radiate and beam like the sun-- which makes sense.

You innocently smiled at her and she gazed down at you with tears in her eyes as she wiped the blood away. She folded down and placed a chaste kiss on your lips as her tears hit your cheeks.

You mustered up the strength to give (new!) soon-to-be Mrs.Galliard a loving yet somber smile as a tear escaped your eye.

With that, you took your last breath before the Hanahaki took you.

In another life, you and Pieck can try again.

In every life, you’ll always choose her.

#pieck finger #pieck x reader #pieck finger x reader #pieck headcanons #pieck supremacy #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan fanfic #pieck x you #send me requests please

[vanillelace]

✧ Hunt For Love — !

hi everyone !! this is lexi and i’m here with a fic for you.

‘Dash and Lily’ is a Netflix series, originally a novel written by David Levithan and Rachel Cohn.

i have decided to write a fiction based on this because i fucking LOVED the series so much. i will be sticking to the plotline, but a lot of changes can be seen + this will be in chapters.

i have provided FULL credits to the original creators. please don’t attack me for ‘claiming’ this as my own. i have just written my own spin-off for this. this would be completely David Levithan and Rachel Cohn’s ideas, but i have added my own.

i have clarified as much as possible. one last time, THIS PLOTLINE ISN’T MINE, I HAVE MADE MY OWN CHANGES TO IT.

i will most definitely delete this if this isn’t allowed. it’s my first time writing a spin-off so please forgive me if i do anything wrong!

let’s begin after that huge clarification.

PREVIEW.

Hunt for Love.

—— na y/n x nct’s mark lee.

—— wordcount : 349 for the preview, 85 for the summary [less than i expected 😭]

—— warnings : nothing for the preview.

—— na y/n has always looked for love. her happy-go-lucky, easy-to-love brother, jaemin, has always wanted to put her out of her bubble, but has been unsuccessful on each minor attempt.

lee mark hates love, and anything to do with it. his heart has been broken, and he doesn’t want it to happen again. after 2 years of hating himself and his decisions, he makes a promise to himself that he will let himself love again.

what if their paths intercross, for better or for worse?

—— lexi’s words : hi there first time writing a fic so ya 😋 i just wanted to say none of this has ever occurred as per my knowledge, and any relation to characters in real life is NOT intended. the use of any celebrities names in this is not to defame them AT ALL. anyways this is something i wrote because i’m bored so… have fun reading! one more thing! the character’s ethnicities and nationalities ideas were given to me by my very very dear friend @notshyivy !! love you sweetie <3

── preview begins . .

mark was walking along the most familiar street he had, the path to the best library in the world — bibliophile. he greeted the wizened old librarian and owner, mr. thomas, who was a dear friend to him, and strolled up to the information desk. “hello, how may i help you today!” a blonde man with a slight mustache rolled his eyes at mark, with a voice that sounded like he had enough of helping out at a library and had much better work to do.

hint : he did not.

justin thomas, mr thomas’ nephew, absolutely despised mark lee. mark couldn’t think as to why. as far as he knew, he never shouted, oh no, he preferred keeping to himself. he always kept the books in the right place. no, the problem was that he was better at justin’s job than justin himself was.

mark rolled his eyes back at justin. mark ambled his way through the dear shelves of dusty and clean, ancient and new books, which offered a wonderful complement to the few amount of people, who, mind you, were as ancient as the books themselves, maybe even older.

his favorite section, he noticed, had a minimalistic christmassy notebook, which he was SURE didn’t belong in the young adults section. without looking at the book, he pulled it out, careful to not disturb his favorites beside the intruding book, and walked back to the information desk. “justin… there’s a book i’m sure isn’t supposed to be here,” he began, placing the book flat on a keyboard. “where does it go?”

“just- put it back there. don’t even bother telling me about that one. SHE told me to keep it there.” justin muttered, annoyed with the VERY helpful mark.

“who’s SHE-“ “never you mind. now put it back where it came from.”

just as mark was about to give justin a piece of his mind, mark breathed in and breathed out, invigorating himself. he walked away, and was just about to place the book in its undeserved location, when he noticed three, clear words.

‘DO YOU DARE?’

♡ ⊹ ° . ˚ ▿ · ° . ♡ ⊹

#hunt for love preview #hunt for love #nct #nct 127 #nct u #mark lee #mark nct #mark fluff #nct fluff #nct mark fluff #mark imagines #mark lee imagines #nct 127 imagines #mark lee fluff #nct series #nct 127 series #mark lee series #prays i hope this goes well #lexiblity

[nyxocity]

Fic Writer Questions!

Thanks to @redmyeyes for the tag!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

82, although that's not even close to my actual total. There's a bunch on LJ that have never been transferred (all shorter works)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,780,805 (over 2mil on LJ)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Mostly three, plus a couple dips into a few other pools. X-Men Comic Book fandom, Buffy & Angel fandom (they kinda count as one since it's the same universe), and Supernatural & SPN RPF. Dips have included Dragon Age, Firefly, a tiny bit of TVD, a Sons of Anarchy crossover.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This is tough if I go by numbering. Homework Verse has the most kudos scattered across all parts, but Stranger Than Fiction has the most as a single story. Anyway...

Homework Verse (J2 RPF, 200k+ words) - My very first RPF fic, Supernatural or otherwise. Two of my online fandom friends basically TOLD me I was going to write Teacher/Student J2, and I kept protesting that I drew the line at RPF. They didn't care. 200k later, here we are. This story was a game changer for me; it made me fandom famous. I still love those boys with my whole heart, and they still talk to me sometimes.

Stranger Than Fiction (Sam/Dean, 50644 words) - This story idea took root immediately following the episode The Monster at the End of This Book. I quit the Big Bang I'd already begun writing for that year (which was Who Watches Over Me, which I finished and posted for BB the following year) to write this story. It just took hold hold of me and took over. I wrote it in 6 weeks and it was easily the most fun I ever had writing anything--I cackled like a madwoman most of the time.

Who Watches Over Me (J2 RPF, 96591 words) - This story was, at the time, the toughest thing I'd ever written. Little did I know that would become the norm and not the exception, as I began to write more complex stories. It was by far the longest story I had ever posted all at once in its entirety (rather than chapter by chapter) and I had no idea if people would like it. Fortunately a lot of people did.

Like Staring Into the Sun (Sam/Dean, 23243 words) - Ah, my very first hardcore Wincest fic. I remember writing the first chapter of the story (meant to be a one shot honestly), and just sitting there, at 5am, being terrified to post it. It was twisted, dark and intense and SO porny I was scared people might think I was weird. There wasn't anything like it out there at the time. As it turns out, people loved it so much I ended up writing eight more parts.

Like a Fish Out of Water (Sam/Dean, 59498 words) - I have a lot of love for this story. It didn't come to me easily, but it was fun to write. I remember smiling a lot and just having a nice, warm cozy feeling the whole time. I had no idea if anyone was interested in reading this many words of what amounted to a dramedy curtain fic

Of course there are other stories that I feel deserve love, but I can't argue with these.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do. And by that, I mean I try. I don't always succeed in answering them all, but I answer as many as I have time and energy for. Life is busy and there is writing to do as well. I read every comment I get (multiple times) and I feel guilty for all the ones I don't answer, because they mean SO MUCH TO ME. Like you took time to leave this beautiful, well thought out comment, or even a keysmash, or a heart, in response to something I wrote. That means the world.

I WISH there was a reaction function for comments on Ao3, so I could heart things, or laugh in response. Replying with emojis without words feels weird. So yeah, a reaction function would be amazing. But in the meantime, I do my best.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmm. Probably A Touch of Evil. Interestingly, it's also a HAPPY ending, so there you go lol. It's a serial killer love story with a happy ending that comes at an exorbitant price.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I'm not sure why the OG post skips from 6 to 8 lol . So, yes, I have written a few minors crossovers. Mostly Faith in the SPN verse with the boys, nothing too crazy, because she fits right in. But for long stories, I have written all of ONE crossover. It's Dean Winchester/Jax Teller (SPN / Sons of Anarchy). My crossovers so far have tended to make sense to crossover, so I don't think any of them are crazy.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I got some hate on a Buffy/Xander fic back in the day. I got really excited and had fun with it. Like yeah, now I'm SOMEBODY! You're no one til someone hates you lol Most of that was people who were haters of the ship, or were like, gross, they're like brother and sister (they weren't, they were FRIENDS). I've gotten nasty comments here and there on some of my SPN fic. My favorite was the person who accused me of having a "Top Dean Agenda". I STILL laugh about that one. I don't respond to that crap.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Have you MET ME? LOL If I ever post a story without smut just put me out to pasture, because I'm done. And all kinds. Het, Gay, PWP, Plotty porn, mostly super kinky but some vanilla (but intense). I used to challenge myself regularly to see if I could up my kink game--like hmm, but could I write THIS? I haven't written really kinky sex in a long time, though. Might be time to do that.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Several times. Who Watches Over me was stolen by someone and converted to One Direction Lourry fic. Literally just did a name change. Someone else stole a bunch of my one shots and passed them off as their own. I know there were a couple other instances but I only vaguely remember. I never got too deep into it, most of the time the people who discovered the theft already told everyone else too, and the plagiarist had been hammered by them so hard that I didn't have to step in before they took it down.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. I used to get requests so often that I just posted my usual response in my profile for people to read instead of replying. Definitely into Russian and Chinese for most of the stories listed with most kudos above.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A few times on one shot fics. SO MUCH FUN. I love co-writing with people.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Sam/Dean. Easily. Hands down. I just love their unique relationship, bond and love so much.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Well I finally finished A Touch of Evil after posting 3 chapters in 2009 and never touching it again until 2017. And I never thought I'd finish that. So never say never, I say. That said, there's the third and final part of my X-Men comic book epic that remains unfinished by about five (shorter) chapters, and it HAUNTS ME. But I don't think I'll ever finish it.

16) What are your writing strengths?

NOW we get to the hard questions. I'm really good at dialogue, bouncing banter back and forth between characters, and I have a sense for how long a scene should be. I just KNOW when it's going on too long, even if there's more that needs to be said, and I try to tighten it up in that case.

A friend of mine once told me "Porn is my gift". I don't write as much of it as I used to, but yeah, I shine in that area.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

So I always reach a point after writing so many words in an unpublished fic where I'm like, I have no idea if this is even any good/makes sense/hangs together etc. Beyond that, I've been writing for so long that I've had so much practice that I've strengthened a lot of my weaknesses. I'm sure I still have some, but I don't FEEL them like I used to anymore. That said, there are things I simply will not write. Like historical pieces. Because I would research the fuck out of every detail trying to get it perfect and then I would still doubt myself completely.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I mostly try to avoid it, because there's no way I would ever get the language correct. I usually write it in English and then explain that they're saying it in another language. Like, "What are you doing?" the man asks, speaking in Chinese. Then reiterate in the continuing dialogue in various ways that they're speaking in Chinese.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

X-Men Comic Book fandom. I was reading a lot of Remy/Rogue fic back in 1996-1997, and one day I was like, you know what? This person did a pretty good job on this story. It's not great, but it's pretty good, and if they can have the guts to put it out there, then I can do it, too.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

This is a tough question. I don't love all my children equally, but I love them all a lot in different ways lol

Remembering favorite is different than which one I think is BEST... Homework Verse is probably my favorite. I was learning so much about writing then, I was really growing, and discovering, and pushing my limits. Those characters lived and breathed in me, I swear they spoke through me from some alternate universe. They feel so REAL to me. There's so much of what I've learned in life in that story, like really, big, life changing ideas and understandings that happened to me that I put into that story. There's so much of me in that story, and yet there's so much of THEM, too. It's their story, but it's also mine. It's raw and not entirely perfect and it feels like home to me.

--

So that's it, that's my piece. I feel like EVERYONE has been tagged since it took me 3 days to have time to do this, but I'm basically tagging any of you writers out there who haven't done this yet!

#my stories #about me #writing #on writing

[wh6res]

“𝑰’𝑴 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑳𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻, 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑶𝑵𝑳𝒀 𝑺𝑨𝑽𝑰𝑶𝑼𝑹.”

part of the 21 ways to kill your lover collab hosted by the lovely miss solange @du0tine

pairing. entity! xdj & f! reader | word count. 5.4k

synopsis. he wasn’t a god, he wasn’t a devil, and fuck, he’s surely not an angel, but he will be your saviour and your light ‘till kingdome come.

warnings. tread with caution. yandere/possesive themes, religious themes, violence, mentions of gore, swearing, mentions of ptsd, mentions of physical abuse, a lot of character deaths, manipulation, stalking, and implications of suicide

disclaimer. i do not condone whatever tf i wrote in this nor does it reflect my beliefs or values or morals and such. it is all pure fiction and i also dont think xiaojun from wayv would act like this in real life.

a soul’s vulnerability gives him strength. he has scourged far and wide and has yet to encounter a soul as interesting as yours. he never thought a heart filled with hatred and a fragile mentality can be such a sweet combination. xiaojun would be stupid not to latch his greedy talons onto you.

he hides in the darkest corners of your room at night, unseen and unheard, just watching over you like a predator to his poor unsuspecting gazelle before diving into the anticipated chase. 

he moves in with you into the cheap apartment you got for yourself here in the big city—which he thinks is an awful move because of how lonely it’ll be. but hey, it wasn’t anyone’s fault that you got chased out of your own home by your stepdad, your very own biological mom too scared to say a peep of defense to your name. 

your downfalls became xiaojun’s highlights. 

he would’ve felt sorry for you after finding out about that abusive old man. ugh, he scowls. your stepdad makes the entity’s blood boil and he doesn’t even have blood to begin with. the same man who holds the bible in his left hand when he preaches sermons for the people, is the same hand he uses to hit you across the face. 

the same hand he uses to pull at your hair. the same hand he uses to punch your gut. the same hand he uses to shove your mom down when she tries interfering. 

xiaojun may hate men of god but above all, he absolutely detests the kind your old man is—a faker, who thinks he can get away with the shit mess he’s making. xiaojun would never take that preacher’s murky soul even if he offered it to the entity voluntarily. fake. fake. fake. fake. fake. xiaojun should’ve killed him. xiaojun should’ve slit his throat. xiaojun should’ve torn his eyes out—

ah, ah, ah.

he can’t afford to make you any less vulnerable than you already are, now, can he? after all, he can be anything you want but he’s no angel. 

so he watched from the sidelines. 

watched you cry. watched you bleed. watched your scars form. watched the hate and resentment you have for your own family fester in your heart until it grew to a size you can’t hide within yourself anymore. 

and then you left home. 

xiaojun has to admit, for a second, maybe leaving home will make your soul unworthy, will break the mold he’s already had of you and will completely spoil his well-thought out plans.

so really, he can only scoff when he watches you walk around the apartment wearing that pretty dress on a sunday morning, darting around with calculated steps to shove everything inside your bag to go to church. the dress hangs nicely against your skin but he’d rather you stay and wear nothing. 

maybe you’d finally find contentment and happiness in this place, in this city, on your own. soaring high without a cage, without someone to hold you back—these things fill his thoughts like a plague until you come barging back into the door 30 minutes later. 

he’s been watching you long enough to know church service wouldn’t end for another 30 minutes or so. xiaojun’s eyebrows quirk up. why would his fragile little gazelle come back oh so early? but his question is immediately answered when he detects your shaky breaths and the unshed tears in your glistening eyes

you’re suffering the post-traumatic effects your shit stepdad has caused. seeing another preacher must’ve been a trigger, he thinks, eyeing you with a look on his face. xiaojun felt a little stupid. of course, swimming to the surface will be tough with all that trauma anchoring you down.

it’ll be tough, indeed… so why not sink you even deeper?

it didn’t take much energy for him to start manipulating your dreams. every nap, every deep sleep, he’d replay all the horrible things your stepdad has done to you and he realizes how dreams depicted from his perspective took a larger toll on you versus the ones from your own point of view—witnessing for yourself how weak and helpless you had been seemed to chip away bigger parts of you, he notices. your terrified screams when waking up in cold sweat getting louder and louder with every passing nightmare.

he pushed, and pushed, and pushed until you were standing right at the edge of sanity. until you start questioning your own self-worth and judgment, the invisible chains of the trauma too strong to break. until your radiant skin looked deathly, with gaunt cheeks and white lips. until you developed a fear of sleeping because no, you don’t want to witness those horrors again. no. no. no. no, please don’t hit me—

xiaojun can’t help but admire his handiwork but no, he doesn’t have time for that! 

the next time you fell asleep you had been desperately holding onto your 5th bottle of gatorade like it was a torch breaking through the darkness. you’ve intake so much of the energy drink that your body has grown used to it. you would’ve switched to caffeine, but from how much you drank it prior to the energy drinks, your blood is practically coffee at this point. 

“you’re living in my house now, young lady! i’d like to see some respect from your or i’ll fucking beat it into you!”

“stop! please. hit me instead, hit me!” 

“this is all your fault, bitch! how can you raise one daughter wrong? no wonder your husband left you!”

murky and black, you can’t even see the bottom at this point. it keeps pulling you down, and down, and down, until you couldn’t breathe. until your head feels light. until your heart beats erratically within your ribcage as you fought to the surface. 

with all the negative emotions surging through you in thunderous waves, it’s a wonder how no other lonesome, starving entity has latched onto you like xiaojun. although realistically, he was here first, as if he’ll let any other being like him go near you.

it took a greater amount of energy to twist and manipulate the plotline of certain events in a dream. if xiaojun hadn’t grown strong from all your negativity, he’d never be able to do it. 

he can never forget the day he first appeared to you in a dream. to have you cling onto him as you willingly took his hand—not that he was caught by surprise, anyway. every second of every hour of every day xiaojun spent plotting your demise has led to this fruitful day of “meeting” you for the first time. 

“i’m right here,” he said, shaking fingers tracing over your cheeks. a soft caress you have never experienced. 

the man in your dreams is someone you’ve never met before—you’re positive that you haven’t because you’d never forget a face as handsome as his. he appears like an angel casted over divine light, with a soft smile that can cure the plague as he offers his hands for you to take. it was beautiful, how your nightmares turned into dreams the moment the mysterious man arrived. 

how’d you ever know, that the hand you grabbed is the wolf in sheep’s clothing?

it’s sad really, how you’ve only managed to escape one horror only to jump into the next but xiaojun can’t find it in himself to feel bad. well, maybe a little, it’s a fleeting thought. something that disappeared as quickly as it had passed by.

it was only after a few weeks of constantly appearing in your dreams did his plan start to backfire. the change in your behavior isn’t subtle, either, and it angered him all the more. he didn’t see this coming, not even from lightyears away.

simple to say you’ve grown a little more… how can xiaojun put this into words? well, a little more outgoing. adventurous. meeting new people and going to new places and experiencing new things. he can see everything as clear as day—you were healing from your past, leaving the dark chapters in your life to write newer and brighter ones that revolved on having actual healthy relationships for once. 

his seething anger of his failed plans had made all the windows in your apartment burst into thousand little pieces. if you had fine china dishes displayed on your kitchen cabinets he would’ve broken those too. how can you go against him like this? look at you all happy and smiley even as the room turned ice cold because of xiaojun’s suffocating presence. you never even thought once about it—how naive. 

tormenting you through dreams isn’t working anymore. xiaojun has to up his game if he wants to break you down and revert you back to that paranoid, sensitive, and frail self that couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and couldn’t talk to any other human being without feeling the ghost of your abusive step-father’s hands against your skin. 

who says he can only control you through mind games alone? after he’s done what needs to be done, grief and self-pity will go hand in hand. a combination so cruel and heavy on your shoulders that xiaojun can already savor the metallic tangy taste of victory. 

“no! yeji—!”

xiaojun watches unblinking when he makes one of your new friends walk out the sidewalk and right into an overspeeding car. 

tires skidding across the pavement, the breaks not working, glass shattering, bones cracking against the force of the hit—dead, right on the fucking spot.

he’s never heard you scream that loud and he shudders in pleasure as the vibrations of your shrill voice courses through his veins. 

he missed this, your complete and utter misery. 

but he wasn’t done yet. 

“don’t you think it’s a ‘lil chilly in here?” ryujin asks, looking over to your side before drinking the hot chocolate she prepared for both of you. 

grieving together with a friend can be good, hence why you’re now in her apartment a month later after yeji’s funeral. 

you answer after taking a sip. “no, not really.” 

xiaojun grins, giddy and a skip in his step while making his way towards you as he side-eyes your friend, who religiously drank her hot chocolate all the while bundling up next to you so you both can watch the movie together playing on the laptop. 

this one, well, he particularly doesn’t like this one. 

if your other friend was meant to be a casualty, a death borne from not one smidge of personal vendetta, this one, this ryujin is different. heck, he even remembers her fucking name.

no, no, no. xiaojun can feel his skin crawl as ryujin cuddles intimately closer as she stares at you from her peripheral, feeling out whether you’d react or not as she sneaks an arm around your waist. his anger turns a fever pitch, seeing you with someone else driving him up the wall. you were meant to be his sad and hopeless little gazelle and his alone.

xiaojun hoped the poison travels fast or so help him he’ll fucking rip her off of you—and he would’ve, when he saw you and ryujin slowly leaning into one another, head angled and obviously going in for a kiss. he would’ve, when one of ryujin’s hands come up to cup your face. he would’ve… until the poison reached its destination in her body, right when your lips were about to touch. 

ryujin’s lungs seized, breathing becoming an agent to her demise as the oxygen from her lungs disappear into nothingness. the last thing she saw is your horrified face, tears streaming. she swore you were shouting something, probably her name, but it’s overpowered by the incessant ring in her ears.

when her mouth foamed and she laid limp on the couch right next to you, you knew ryujin would never wake again to give you that kiss. 

xiaojun steps back to admire the havoc he wreaked. two of your friends dead, that should be enough to incapacitate you—whether it be permanent or not, he just wants to see you drown in misery. 

and as he slowly dissipates into the void, there’s a little smile on his face as he stares you down, burning the image of your histeria in his head, the echoes of your woeful cries music to his ears. 

you never dared step foot out of your apartment. 

groceries were delivered to your door, trash is slowly but surely building up, and the place was a whole mess. the entity haunting you has never seen you this… shattered, even when you left home. it was like your brain has stopped working and your body turned into nothing more but a cusp of who you used to be. 

it’s scary looking in the mirror and not recognizing the reflection—so, you painted all of them black. it was an in the heat of a moment kind of thing that took place the moment you came home from the police station, on the exact day she passed away before your eyes. 

xiaojun just has to “misplace” a few pints of paint you had used from when you renovated the apartment in the past, putting the cans where you can easily see them and think that the idea belonged to you when in reality, it’s the entity that put the idea in your head. 

there was a blanket over your shoulder when you came back from the station. it wasn’t yours, they gave it to you while you sat opposite to a stoic detective in a cold interrogation room, yet you made no move to shrug it off even after arriving at your apartment, fingers clutching the fabric like a lifeline and refusing to believe whatever that had transpired in ryujin’s apartment. 

eyes unseeing, stumbling with your steps, back hunched with the curse of the universe weighing down on your back—xiaojun couldn’t’ve been more proud of what he had done.

you were spiraling out of control. a self-destructive cycle you cannot seem to fight your way out of as your nightmares came back to haunt you. the tall waves of anxiety and paranoia drowning and pushing you under the surface. 

for once you don’t fight the current, you just let it pull you under. 

every time you close your eyes, you can hear the deafening screech of rubber tires against concrete before the car hits yeji. can vividly see the foams of the poison coming out of ryujin’s mouth as if it was caught on tape and is now playing on loop. 

your other friends have donned you as bad luck, cursed to have a fucked up life and will fuck up other people’s lives too if they get even as close as an arm length to you. too scared to lose any more people, you decided to completely push everyone away and had completely shut yourself out from the world beyond the four corners of your apartment. 

it’s like your trauma from before has come crawling back to you, only now, he brings himself a little friend called guilt. 

what are the odds that your two friends died after the other when the person they’ve each last spent time with was you? even the police found it too much a coincidence. if it wasn’t for the cctv cams in the corners of ryujin’s apartment, you’d be facing trial for a murder you didn’t commit. 

you eye the usb stuck in one of your laptop’s ports. it’s black, with an srj poisoning case written in red ink on the small patch of masking tape pasted onto the back of the plastic. 

after being stuck in an interrogation room for the last two hours, you had sneakily swiped it out of the detective's desk on your way out of the station. you remembered it was the usb with a copy of ryujin’s cctv cams, some underling busting into the interrogation room while in the middle of your questioning, holding the tiny usb between his fingers. 

your stomach churned when the detective looked at you spitefully, as if he couldn’t fucking care less of the evidence presented to him in a silver platter and would thoroughly take pleasure in throwing you in jail himself, guilty or not. the last look he shot you still sends shivers down your spine, the sharpness in his gaze as he regarded you. “you killed them. i know you did.”

a week of self-induced isolation later and you start to believe in it yourself. 

in the middle of screaming your lungs out and cursing the gods above for your sorry excuse of a life, you had thrown the usb somewhere in the apartment. not that you bothered to look for it right after, you were too busy wallowing in self pity before passing out on the living room floor. when you wake up, you’ve forgotten all about it. 

so it was interesting, seeing the usb again after days and days of wallowing in grief. you had fallen off the couch while in the middle of a slumber and you spotted the small piece of tech lying underneath it with the other empty coke cans. 

eyeing the laptop on the coffee table, you remember you haven’t taken a look at the evidence yourself—the detective had given you the stink eye when you tried shuffling closer to peep a look. carelessly, you shove all other objects off the table to pull the laptop closer. you plant yourself on the ground cross-legged, not batting an eyelash even when you feel the crumbs of chips against your skin. 

you boot the laptop on, thankful you’ve yet to forget its password, and plugged the usb in again. it was simple to navigate, to say the least, the folder popping up in a matter of seconds. you thought it stored a whole collection of her cctv footages but alas, it didn’t, saving you the time and energy scourging through unwanted boring files. 

hands shaking, you clicked on the video. 

and it was as if you’re thrown back into that event in your life that has now become a distant memory. the hug ryujin gave you when she opened the door, her words of comfort when you opened up about your deteriorating mental health after your friend passed away, and finally, the warm feel of the mug against the palm of your hand. 

wait a minute. 

you perk up from your seat, groaning aloud when your knee hits the underside of the coffee table at your haste, fingers darting around to press the back 10 seconds button. the sweat starts forming in your forehead and palms, making your hand feel clammy and disgusting but it was the last of your worries. 

did you see that correctly?

the quality is a bit low and the camera angle isn’t optimal. you can only see ryujin’s side profile but her glassy eyes are unmistakable and her actions look robotic at best. 

this is after she made your hot cocoa and had delivered it to your shivering, sniffling form on the couch, all bundled up snug and cozy in the blanket she provided. you remember ryujin winking as she walked back towards her kitchen after you thanked her. 

the way she poured poison in her own mug ruled her case as suicice. the evidence is right there in your face but the unease still sits heavy on your stomach and confusion clouds your brain like cannabis. 

this doesn’t make any sense. 

you knew her, ryujin. she’s never one to succumb to her negative emotions, always facing her problems with head held high. her overall mindset, in general, made her the last person you’d think would ever commit suicide. you’ve replayed the video a thousand times by now, still unable to wrap your head around the fact that she killed herself. 

having the sudden urge for another bottle of gatorade, you pressed the pause button as you try hauling yourself up with your arms. 

you pause. pushing your face closer to the laptop screen, rubbing at your eyes incredulously as you eye the corner of her kitchen. 

ryujin’s apartment isn’t that luxurious, nor is it too rundown, but there can be little exceptions here and there. 

like the cheap LED bulbs attached rather messily onto her ceiling, one of the six sources of light flickering on and off. you remember how many times you’ve told her to get it fixed yet she never really paid you any heed.

with shaking fingers, you replayed it one more time, hoping on everything you believe in that it wasn’t what it looks like. this can’t be it—how is that possible—

it’s him, the man who has appeared like an angel in your dream to sweep you away from evil. but standing in the corner, under the flickering lights of your friend’s kitchen, he looked anything but an angelic. 

your mind is going haywire, your body shook in confusion, and sweat started dribbling down your neck. you would’ve thought you made a mistake because how is this even possible? the angelic man in your dreams isn’t real—he can’t be real, he can’t appear like this when you aren’t even sleeping because he’s not real!

he can’t… right?

he doesn’t look too harmless, what with his hands crossed and leisurely leaning against the wall. but one look at his eyes and you know you’re wrong. even through the shit quality of the cctv footage you can still feel the fury and the absolute hate his eyes held as he stared her down menacingly, unblinking.

stared her down as she made her own cocoa, as she hunches down to open the sink cabinets to get that pesky rat poison, as she poured it on her mug, as she swirls the spoon around to mix the deadly concoction all together in a hauntingly robotic way that looked too much like ryujin was being told what to do.

and as you let the video play the rest of its content and felt like the tragedy was unfolding right before your very eyes again—you couldn’t breathe, panic gripping onto you like a vice, the sharp talons of fear sinking deep under your skin. 

you don’t register the coffee table toppling over in your haste to stand up. desperately putting a distance between you and the laptop as you turned and stumbled towards the hallway leading to your bedroom. 

you stop, pathetically landing on your knees before the open archway. if you hadn’t been shaking in fear before, then you surely were now. 

he’s here—can you even call it a he?

the man stands at the end of the hallway. in that similar, non-threatening stature with his arms crossed and body leaning against the wall. 

but the mischief in his eyes is enough of a warning. 

he’s come for you. 

he’s come to finish the job. 

“finally figured it out?”

you screamed, throwing the closest thing you can at him as you shuffle someplace else in your apartment. his laugh sounded pleasant in the ear when you were off in dreamland, but now? it sounded like nails grating against a chalkboard. 

your legs eventually led you to the front door. appearances be damned. you weren’t even wearing a bra and you haven’t showered for days but fuck no you’re not going to stay here with that—that—that monster!

“baby, don’t leave! the fun hasn’t even started yet!”

you grab the doorknob and twist, practically throwing yourself out into the hallway, eyes frantic as you stumble and land face first against—

sticky. the floor’s sticky and there was a smell you can’t seem to pinpoint. it’s tangy, metallic, and you can almost taste the scent yourself in your tongue and when you look down—you want to throw up. 

lying next to each other in pools of their own blood, lies yeji and ryujin side by side, faces towards each other. their eyes hauntingly empty and unseeing as they stared up at you. 

you shrieked, voice scratching against your dry throat as you threw yourself back into your apartment, the door slamming shut in itself. you didn’t care if there’s now a huge mess of blood staining the carpets on the foyer. you curl in on yourself, hair sticking to your face as you covered your ears and shut your eyes. 

“oh, my love…”

you felt his presence before you can hear him. 

a flashback plays in your head—hot chocolate, soft blankets, and a friend who you loved with all your heart. “don’t you think it’s a little chilly in here?"

you answered. “no, not really?”

the tears start streaming like waterfalls, mixing with the blood and sweat already caked in your face. ryujin knew, she felt it back at her apartment yet you disregarded her completely.

“it’s not your fault,” the entity’s hands are ice cold when he gently pulls at your wrist. “everything is as it should be. now, open your eyes. there’s nothing to be afraid of. i’m not going to hurt you.”

stubbornly, you shook your head as you squeezed your lids even tighter, refusing to look at the monster dead in the eye.

“don’t be like that, my love. if i wanted to hurt you, i would’ve done it a long time ago.”

you don’t listen, hunching and curling your knees even more against your torso as you try to block out his voice. it’s unfair how gentle it sounded but your blood ran cold when you realize this is how he got ryujin to poison herself, this is how he got yeji to walk in front of a speeding car—

“hail mary, full—full of grace,” you pray under your breath, shaking like a leaf. “the lord… the lord is with thee. blessed art thou among women…”

“you’re praying?” there’s an underlying mocking to e in his voice. “this is fucking hilarious!”

your incessant mumbling partnered with how you rocked your body back and forth, made something snap within xiaojun. he already stated he won’t hurt you! did he break you so much that now you’re unable to hear stuff properly, too?

“holy mary, mo—mother of god, pray for us sinners, now and—and at the hour of our death, amen. hail mary, full of grace…”

“stop.” his body twitches, having the sudden urge to pull all his hair out and burn this fucking building to the ground.

yet you continue. “the lord is with thee, blessed art thou among—among women and blessed is the… the fruit of thy womb, jesus…”

“i said stop, [name]. don’t fucking test me.”

“holy mary, mother of god—pray—pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our—”

you screeched in pain as your forehead comes in contact with a mirror, the sound of it shattering is deafening to the ears. his icy fingers let go of your nape, letting you fall hard to the ground. your ears perk up at the sound of streaming water. 

you weren’t in the foyer anymore, you feel cold tiles instead of the rough texture of the dirty carpet underneath you. eyes fluttering, you slowly pry them open, and the first thing you see is the faulty pipes found underneath your bathroom’s sink. patches of your clothes start getting wet. 

“you think a prayer of all things can stop me? i’m insulted!” you hiss when he grabs your face, hands so cold that it feels like you’re skin is burning off. “i was going to play nice.”

he pulls you towards him, hand encased around your throat. he shoves the open hair dryer into the half-filled bath tub as you feel him vibrate against you. “you don’t know how long i waited, how much energy i needed to appear to you like this.”

it’s with dread you realize that he’s actually giggling.

you whine, eyes feeling like it’ll pop out of their sockets when he squeezed your neck tighter. with a sudden rush of adrenaline, you anchor your wrists against his arm but it proves to be useless when he’s too strong. 

“please,” you wheezed. “i did… i did nothing wrong. let go—please.”

in the corner of your eyes, you stare at him from the mirror, stomach twisting in discomfort when you see him throwing his head back, eyes rolling up after taking a long whiff of your hair. “this—this fear you have, my love, only makes me stronger.”

“nothing… i did nothing wrong—please! please… let, let me go…” you’re starting to feel lightheaded, black spots floating around your vision. 

“nothing? are you sure about that?” 

you cringe when he licks up the tears in your face, toes curling at the sheer disgust you feel. but the words he spews next is far worse than the hand he’s wrapped around your throat. 

“didn’t you left your mom alone with that abusive asshole? didn’t you make yeji walk into that incoming car? didn’t you make ryujin drink that poison?”

he whispers them so softly, so gently that you almost mistook them as proclamations of love. 

“no…” your voice breaks. 

“yes. yes, you did,” he knew you like the back of his hand, knew what to say and how to say them for you to break in his arms. “you killed them, my love. you’re a murderer. you don’t even deserve to be alive after all of the things you’ve done.”

it’s almost pathetic how you shake your head, eyes closed, refusing to acknowledge the truth. 

“that’s… that’s not true…”

“you’re a curse to the people you love, the embodiment of they're suffering. don’t you see it?”

“stop lying!—”

“am i?” he retorts, maneuvering you around to face the mirror. you swore you covered the whole thing with black paint. “just look at yourself.”

oh, how badly he wants to shove your face against the mirror but he mustn't get ahead of himself. 

“did any of your friends even visit you to see how you’re doing?” no, they never did. he smiles like he knows what you’re thinking. “the answer is all before you now, my love. you need to see through the haze and accept it for what it really is. no one loves you. even the god you’re praying to didn’t answer. there’s nothing, no one, left.”

and for the first time since he has you in his tight hold, you stopped fighting. sobs wracking through your body as your shoulders slump and accept defeat. 

xiaojun automatically lets you go, cooing like a lover in your ear as he tucks you into his embrace. “you want this all to stop, don’t you? someone to save you?”

you nodded, unable to look at him as his hand came up to wipe away your tears. no one has ever done that for you in months ever since yeji and ryujin died.

“i’m here,” xiaojun says, running fingers through your hair comfortingly. “i’m your light, your only saviour. you want that, right, my love?” choice is a mere illusion but he likes keeping up with formalities. 

you fail to notice the steps he took towards the now overflowing bathtub, too lost in the new highs and lows of emotions you feel. 

“yes.”

it only took seconds to push you into the tub. its water buzzing with a live electric current brought by the hair dryer he dropped only minutes ago.

the effect is instantaneous. he watches your muscle spasm, your skin growing darker as the live water fries your body alive. quickly, xiaojun reaches down to lift your head out the water, not wanting to ruin your pretty face.

the last thing you feel is xiaojun’s cold lips pressing against your own, the gentle caress as he wiped your tears away… and the electricity finally passing through your heart. 

when the entity pulls away from your dead body, he only whispers three things—“mine, at last.”

#nct imagines #nct scenarios #wayv imagines #wayv scenarios #xiaojun imagines #xiaojun scenarios #tw violence #tw religious themes #tw ptsd #tw swearing #tw mentions of suicide #tw murder #tw death #tw abuse #yandere xiaojun #yandere wayv

[quinnfebrey]

genuine question about the mia thing: when someone apologizes for or addresses something they did wrong what is the appropriate response from a fan account for that person if it's not the account owners' apology to accept?

so i wrote this earlier today and saved it as a draft and i just re read it now and it’s an essay and i’m sorry

mm it’s a nuanced question. basically, like, appreciate the actor as an actor. you really don’t know anything else about them, especially ones as new as these people. i will consume and discuss content related to the wilds that mia posts, and i don’t expect anyone to just pretend she doesn’t exist a la lord voldemort, but treating her almost like an untouchable work of fiction is what’s an issue

like, from the way i’ve seen people talk about her, especially in relation to erana, it feels like they think she’s a character or something, and that therefore her behaviors don’t reflect on who she is because she’s not really a real person anyway. it literally feels like people are character analyzing and headcanoning her and it’s so bizarre and it takes away from the fact that 1) she’s a person, it’s disrespectful, 2) she’s not perfect (no one is), so why are you putting her on a pedestal that only fictional characters could ever reach?

i think a large part of it has to do with not participating in stan culture in the first place. i also think that, from my time across various fandoms since i first discovered fandom back in 2012, the wilds fan base (ESPECIALLY twitter) seems to be the most involved in an almost unhealthy level of actor stanning, and i’m not really sure why. i’ve never seen this level of it. i don’t know if it’s because the actors are new so they seem more approachable, but it’s really quite strange. the behavior i was seeing from people was kind of creepy before the mia thing, but it’s even more frustrating to see people return to that

god this was a tangent im so sorry

but i guess the tldr is:

1. consume content from her in relation to how it pertains to the show. like, i will still love to hear what she has to say about shelby because i think she’s proven to understand her character very well. but i’m not going to be out here scraping the barrel for content of just her

2. she’s a person. think of her that way. making up stories about her and other cast members is weird. they’re not fictional characters you can one-shot, they’re real people. all those posts (there were a significant amount) about “do you think erana helped her write the statement 🥺” were weird as hell, and inappropriate for any situation, but especially one pertaining to real criticism about literal racism

3. stan culture is toxic and directly correlates to cancel culture. half the reason the mia debacle was such a big deal was because prior to this you had people writing twenty thirst tweets a day about one photo of her. maybe if people had been treating her like a person the whole time, it would have been less jarring

and this is true for every actor! it just happens to be a conversation about mia specifically because of what happened

#woof #asks #the wilds