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bjy-on-ao3 · 3 years

Note

Hi, I really enjoy you writing, especially your Persona content. The way you portray Adachi is on point, at least in my opinion. So I'd like to request Adachi being visited by his s/o in Prison (during a conjugal visit) and they have sex, please?

Here you go, Anon~ I hope you enjoy!

I once was considering something like this in the past, but crushed my own hopes when researching stuff. Turns out only a handful of countries allow conjugal visits (Japan not among them), as well as only a handful of states in the U.S. and not for heavy crimes like murder (which makes sense considering) - and even then they aren’t exclusively for sex stuff. However, knowing that someone else wanted something like this lets me suspend my disbelief a little and write it, anyway.

(There’s still a LOT of stretch here though, so don’t take this as a source of information. For example, the visitor isn’t strip-searched - but it’s more fun to have that as part of the fic.). Also funny enough, this is the first non-dubcon/noncon Adachi fic I’ve written for some time. (As usual, you can find the AO3 version of all my uploads [and some things I don’t post here to tumblr] via my Masterlist blog page.)

Tags/Warnings Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Slight Cockwarming, Vaginal Sex, Wall Sex, Begging, Established Relationship

Summary In which Adachi gets a conjugal visit in prison from his s/o for not-so-wholesome purposes.

Fic Friday

Pent-Up Penitentiary (F! Reader/Tohru Adachi)

Going through the long, tedious process of filling out paperwork and waiting for approval, you had wondered again why a conjugal visit to your boyfriend in prison sounded like a good idea. Not that sound decision making was your strong suit, considering you had chosen to stay with him after the revelation he responsible for the murders of two women. Maybe you secretly had a death wish of your own. Or you thought you knew him better than either of those women had and that knowledge protected you. That aside, you had spent a lot of time alone with him. If Tohru Adachi had wanted to kill you by now, you figured you would have already been dead.

The boring and seemingly endless paperwork had been a mild inconvenience compared to the next part of the process. A strip search was mandatory, they informed you, and you had hated every second. Sure, it was a fantasy you had played out before, but with Adachi, not some random idiot whom you barely knew and cared nothing about. ‘It’ll be over before you know it and worth it’ you had repeated silently, pulling a sour face the entire time. Finally, it had ended, and you let out a breath of angry relief you didn’t realize had caught in your chest.

The more difficult parts of the process behind you, they had escorted you to the designated area - a short row of plain, small single-story buildings surrounded by a tall, sturdy fence that towered oppressively on all sides. A reminder your visit served only as a temporary illusion of normalcy and when it was over the bars, bulletproof glass, and shitty phone systems would separate you all over again. Your face fell as you dwelt on that reminder, freed from your thoughts when the escort officer stopped by a door and cleared his throat, nodding to it before returning toward the gate.

Taking a deep breath to tamp down the fluttering in your chest, you opened the door and stepped inside, taking a quick glance around the interior. It was much more than you expected - nicer than some studio apartments you had seen in Inaba, outfitted with a small kitchenette and bathroom, an archway with no door leading off into a bedroom. In the central area there was a coffee table and even a small television, sitting opposite a comfortable, but well-worn looking couch.

As you stepped further into the blandly decorated space, the sound of the door opening and shutting interrupted your inspection. You heard boots on the floor come to an abrupt stop and sensed a presence behind you. “This is… nicer than I expected.” You said casually, turning in place.

Your eyes fell as expected on Tohru Adachi’s face. His lips were set in a small, bare smile that was tired, cynical, and, dare you say, a little happy, all at once. You knew if you mentioned that last emotion he would vehemently deny it and suggest you get your eyes checked. “Well, not the process, that was awful, but this,” you added with a wave of your hands.

“Go figure, even criminals get it better than hard-working people,” he answered, and you could hear his bitterness. Having heard his feelings before on how he seldom got what he felt was owed to him, it was no surprise. “Whatever, that’s not what we’re here for,” he dismissed, shaking his head as if to banish the thought.

You didn’t step forward to embrace or kiss him, simply waiting for him to make the first move. If you knew Tohru, a few months behind bars would not have turned into a ball of sappy emotions. Even if he had thrown himself at you, you knew he would have told himself it was all carnal need, not sentimental in the slightest. Besides, he liked to lead the show. “Strip.” The word was demanding, and to almost anyone else, you were sure it would have sounded cold.

“Straight to the point,” you answered, unruffled. You knew the game with Adachi. Many months dating the man - from shortly after the murders, up to the time of his apprehension - had taught you a lot. “You never had any patience,” you ribbed with a half-smile, but didn’t move to shed any clothes. It was more fun if you didn’t make it that easy on him - especially when you had a good idea of how he might respond.

“Oh? I’m the one who has no patience?” He moved away from the door until he was so close you could feel the heat of his body and breath. “I don’t remember being the one begging all the time before,” he reminded you smugly, and you felt your face flush.

“Only because you-” you argued.

“Ah ah,” he touched a slender finger to your lips, cutting off your argument almost childishly, “enough flapping those pretty little lips.” You felt your skin heat further and a vague hum of arousal between your legs, catching an undercurrent of excitement beneath his condescension. “Get undressed. Now.” The last word was hard and low, but the glint in his eyes was more devious than angry. “Unless you want to be punished?” Adachi added, grabbing your chin in one hand and tilting your head to ensure you looked directly into his grey eyes.

You wet your lips involuntarily - a quick flash of pink that Adachi’s eyes followed - before swallowing thickly. “Like you won’t punish me anyway.” You countered, enjoying the expressions swirling in his gaze.

“Don’t act like you don’t like it.” In a quick motion, his hand swept from your chin to the back of your head, curling his fingers harshly in your hair near the root. You groaned in response, biting down on your lip at the sting that shouldn’t have been so pleasant. “That’s what I thought,” Adachi hissed cheekily, “Now don’t make me say it again.”

He released your hair and let his arms drop, taking a step back so you had space to undress. You rubbed your scalp gingerly before finally obeying, starting with your shirt. You unbuttoned and peeled the garment away, revealing the low cut cups of the bra you had bought for the occasion. You peeked at Adachi as you stripped, the tingling between your thighs quickly rising, joined by growing dampness that made you press them together for an instant of relief. Next came your skirt, which you shimmied out of as enticingly as you could, revealing panties to match the bra.

You reached back, undoing the clasp bra clasp and letting the straps slide off your shoulders until they caught around your elbows, the cups falling away. Your nipples, already half peaked from excitement, stiffened fully with exposure to the cool air. “That’s better,” Adachi said appreciatively. He stepped back toward you as you pulled off the bra and tossed it onto the floor, reaching forward and greedily filling both hands. “God, I’ve missed these tits,” he confessed, kneading roughly before he began to tweak and roll your nipples between his fingers.

You sighed and moaned at the rough touch you had craved since Adachi had been sent away. It wasn’t the same when you fondled yourself alone at night - the warmth of his skin and calloused feeling of his hands was impossible to replicate. “They’re all yours, Tohru,” you breathed, almost dreamily, eyes drifting shut, surprised by how much of a relief his touch on your body again was.

But Adachi wasn’t about to let your sudden compliance go unnoticed. “Look at you, acting like a brat before,” he pinched a nipple especially hard as if continuing to punish your previous defiance. “But you sure sing a different tune once I get my hands on you. What’s the change of heart, baby? Did you miss me?” The words were mocking, rather than sweet, as if the thought of missing someone was something to be humiliated about.

You fought through a whimper while Adachi continued to grope at your chest, attitude not entirely driven away by the thrill of having his hands on you again. “I don’t know, did you miss me?” You asked, imitating his tone.

He pressed in closer, dipping his head toward your neck and nipping it sharply. “The only thing I’ve missed is your body,” he said dismissively, squeezing your breasts hard enough you gasped and whined. “Your tits and that sweet ass and tight little pussy,” he growled in your ear. “I missed what’s mine.” His voice rang low and possessive, and he sealed his claim by latching onto the racing pulse in your neck and sucking a dark mark into the soft skin.

“Fuck you, Tohru,” you cursed, feeling your cunt throb in reply to his words. “I-I don’t even have to be here.”

Adachi straightened up, and when you met his eyes again, you recognized a dark tint among the hunger. “Oh? Then why are you? Admit it, you wanted this as much as me.” There was cruel delight in his voice. You knew he got off on putting you in your place as much as you did from agitating him. “Missed my cock so bad you were willing to let a stranger strip search you to have it again.” Your chest heaved as one of his hands drifted down your stomach and over your hip, and you couldn’t suppress another lewd sound. “Because you know no one else can make you feel as good as I do.”

His wandering hand stroked over your clothed cunt, before slipping to your backside and pressing your hips into his so you could feel his hardness through his slacks. “But it’s been a while. Maybe I need to remind you,” he mused.

The hand on your chest moved to your head, forcing you down onto your knees in front of him. You looked up, eyes half-lidded and pupils wide. You licked your lips again, eyeing the bulge in his pants. Even if you took pleasure in insolence, staring up at Adachi as he loomed over you like a starving beast was insanely arousing and you were willing to be compliant.

“I forgot how hot you look on your knees where you belong,” Adachi sneered. He wet his lips as you had, but the same action on him was hungry and predatory. Pinning you in place with his lustful stare, he reached to unbuckle and strip off his belt and unfasten his pants. He pulled out his cock, flushed and leaking, and stroked it for a moment. He didn’t miss how your gaze followed the relaxed motion or the way he smeared the pearl of pre-cum on the head over it. “Tell me how much you want my cock and maybe I’ll let you have it.”

You hesitated, running your tongue over your lips, eyes remaining on his cock. As much as your on-and-off bratty act irritated him, it made watching you struggle between it and your desire for him before eventually giving in so satisfying. He smirked as he spied the instant of resolution pass over your face. Your hooded eyes flicked up to meet his, lips wet and slightly parted. “Please, Tohru?” The words weren’t sickly sweet, instead oozing arousal. “I want your cock. I need it.” You continued to look up at him, lustfully and hopefully.

“Hmm,” he hummed, pretending to mull over your plea, “I don’t think you want it bad enough,” he said, and only your craving for what was in front of you kept you from half-heartedly rolling your eyes. Adachi always liked to push, and that hadn’t changed in your time apart.

But giving in to start made it easier to keep going. “Tohru, let me suck your dick, please. Don’t you want me to?” You did what you could to give him your best pleading expression to match your words. “I promise you won’t be disappointed.”.

The signs of Adachi’s smug satisfaction increased, your pleas stoking the rush of power and hunger he enjoyed so much. “There’s the little cockslut I remember,” the way he said it, the degrading name sounded almost like praise. “I guess you’ve earned it.”

He buried one hand in your hair, tilting your head back and pulling you toward him. You eagerly met him the rest of the way, slipping the head of him past your lips. You sucked lightly at first, swirling your tongue and dipping it into the slit before tightness in your hair urged you forward. You gladly took more of him into your mouth, relishing the familiar taste and weight on your tongue. Letting your eyes droop nearly closed, a satisfied moan escaped your lips as you hollowed your cheeks and began a steady pace, loving how Adachi’s hand in your hair flexed.

There was a low, answering sound from above you. “Fuuck, I’ve missed this. You look so good sucking my cock.”

Eyes opening, you glanced up as best you could. Adachi’s intense stare met you, wide blown pupils rendering his stormy eyes nearly black and his chest rising and falling quicker. The tantalizing look sent a shudder through you, encouraging you to continue with even more enthusiasm. You lay one hand on the leg of his slacks, bracing yourself as you went on. Adachi cursed again, rolling his hips forward, and only the hand on his leg kept him from choking you on his dick in surprise.

Streams of swears and a few lewd names muttered under heavy breath drifted from him, accompanied by several more bucks into your mouth, until his pace was almost constant. After the first you had prepared yourself for more, knowing they would come, focusing on relaxing your gag reflex. You still choked a few times on his length, but reigned in the spasms, feeling a few tears well up and burn your eyes and a single stray trail of saliva drip down your chin.

The labored breathing above you escalated, as did the number of curses and obscenities until they seemed to blend. “Damn, you’re gonna make me cum if you keep that up. Shit,” he swore, and the strain in his tone was obvious.

His cock twitched on your tongue, rewarding your efforts with more salty pre-cum, before the hand in your hair stiffened. His harsh grip stopped you, sunk down on his cock as far as you could go, and you glanced up questioningly. The rock of his hips had come to a full stop, not the stuttering pace you were used to when he was about to cum. He tugged you off his cock completely and you whined in protest.

“Tohru, please.” Having gotten a taste of him again, you wanted nothing more than to finish what you had started.

He blew a quick puff of a silent laugh through his nose, his pompous expression marred by the lurid flush on his cheeks. “Who’s the impatient one here, again, sweetheart?” He teased. Your lips twisted in a frown and your brows furrowed, bottom lip sticking out sulkily. “Heh, you look so cute pouting like that. Don’t worry, I’ll let you have plenty of my cum later. But not yet.”

He pulled you up roughly, steering you towards a wall as soon as you were properly on your feet. You stumbled, your back hitting the wall with a thump that made you wince and mutter a quiet curse. The prick of pain was quickly forgotten as Adachi closed in, pulling your panties down so eagerly they almost tore, eliciting another sound of quiet protest before you kicked them away. He hiked your legs up around his waist, pinning you against the wall with the force of his hips.

When his dick slipped slickly against your pussy lips, your head fell back against the wall with another thud, a low hum coming from your mouth. You rolled your hips and pushed against him, admittedly just as impatient as Adachi was to have to his dick inside of you, but only brushed the swollen head over your clit.

“Bet you’ve been thinking about this as much as me.” His lips were warm against your ear, breath rolling over your neck in hot puffs. “Tell me you want it and I’ll give it to you,” he coaxed, wanting to hear you beg again now that he was pressed so close to your heat. You groaned, wishing he would just hurry and fill you up rather than play more games. “C’mon, baby, speak up. You went through all that trouble, didn’t you? Tell me how much you need my cock again.”

“I want it. Now,” there was an edge beneath the desire, the hint of your impatience and annoyance. “Fuck me, Tohru. I can’t take it, I need your cock. I can’t wait.”

Adachi didn’t make you beg further, pleased with the filth he had drawn from your lips. He adjusted the angle of his hips before lining up with your slit and pushing inside. You groaned and he sighed as his thick head slid past your opening, each hot inch of his cock stretching you in a way you didn’t realize you had missed so much. He pulled back a few inches, before rocking his hips back and smoothly sinking into you completely.

A growl met your ears before his lips touched your neck, sucking hard. You gasped and cried out, hips reflexively grinding against him as you basked in his lips and the fullness from his dick. “Ah, fuck, better than I remembered,” he breathed when his lips left your skin, giving a languid thrust out and back in, to the delight of you both.

You hooked your ankles together around his waist, urging him closer, deeper as his thrusts became more steady. His lips returned to your throat, peppering your skin with nips and sucking more small marks into it. Hands clenched around your thighs, Adachi shifted you against the wall, the new angle letting his cock stroke you in a way that elicited even more excited sounds from your lips.

“Yes, fuck, Tohru. More, more, harder,” you pleaded.

“Fine, sweetheart, I’ll give you more,” he answered, the force of his hips driving harder until each thrust left your head feeling thick and foggy. “I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t think about anything else,” Adachi promised. Sure enough, all you could care about was the pleasurable ache each time he pounded into you and the cruel, seductive rasp of his voice.

“Yes, yes, please. Fuck me until I can’t think of anything else!” You echoed, again pressing him forward with your heels and trying to meet each brutal thrust. Your mouth hung open, every sound unrestrained and wild. “More, more, more,” you repeated like some obscene chant.

“Just can’t get enough, can you? You asked for it, sweetheart. I’m gonna fill you up again and again and you’re gonna love it,” he said, his bawdy words reaching through your lust-addled mind, making your cunt clench more greedily around him. “Maybe I’ll just keep fucking you until you pass out. I bet my little cockslut would love that, wouldn’t you?”

“Aah, fuck, yes!” All you could do was agree with him, your stubbornness long forgotten in the throes of the ecstasy you hadn’t been able to relive in months.

“Fuck, almost there,” Adachi breathed when your cunt contracted around him extra tight, as if trying to force him to fuck you even harder to draw out of its embrace. “I wanna feel you cum on my cock first. Touch yourself for me,” he compelled you, how close he was getting plain in his husky voice and labored breathing.

“Fuck, Tohru, yes, anything for you,” you agreed, in a tone even further gone.

You reached down almost mechanically, fingers clumsily reaching just above the place your bodies met and rubbing your clit urgently. Already awash with pleasure from Adachi’s rough pace and dirty words, your body reacted swiftly to the new attention, the buzz of pleasure in your gut transforming into a hot coil that threatened to snap.

“That’s right, anything for me,” he agreed possessively, his eyes glued to where your fingers worked feverishly and his cock disappeared into your body. “Who do you belong to, baby? Who’s the only one who gets to fuck you like this?”

You struggled to answer him with coherent words, the spring in your belly reaching its breaking point and bursting in ripples of heat. “You, Tohru, I’m all yours. Only, aaah, you, you, you,” your speech melted into an incoherent jumble of wild cries and expletives, unable to focus any longer on anything but the delicious clenching of your pussy and the electric waves of pleasure crashing over you.

“Fuck, that’s right. So here’s a reward for my sweet little whore,” he degraded, leaving sloppy kisses and more bites on your neck, his pace spurred on by your cries. “Just the start of how much I’m gonna fill you up tonight.”

With his promise, he stiffened against you, bucking especially hard several times into your trembling heat. He came in hot spurts, filling your cunt with warmth until it seeped out around him. He murmured your name low, before biting hard into your neck, a yelp interrupting your moans.

When Adachi was completely spent, he withdrew, easing you back onto your feet and stepping away. Legs weak and threatening to buckle, you stayed against the wall for much-needed support, eyes closed and panting heavily. Nearby you heard the rustle of fabric and the soft sound of more clothes hitting the floor.

Before much longer, you were yanked away from the wall, nearly falling. You opened your eyes to see Adachi stripped down to nothing as well, and despite how tired you felt, you couldn’t help but linger for a moment on his cock, still half-hard.. Adachi pulled you through the open archway to the bedroom, dragging you down onto the bed. He pulled you roughly against him until your back met his chest, both damp with sweat.

“Tohru, let go,” you complained, feeling overheated and sensitive. Surprise jolted another moan from you as he groped your thighs, spreading your legs long enough to bury himself in your heat again.

“Weren’t you listening? I’m gonna fuck you until you pass out, sweetheart.” he reminded you snidely, curling his arms around you. One splayed across your stomach, the other squeezing a breast roughly, but almost absently. “I just need a little more motivation first.”

You rolled your eyes, knowing he couldn’t see. “Sure, motivation. Can’t just call it cuddling like a normal person, can you?” You accused dryly.

“Shut up,” he snapped. You had a feeling his face was flushed with a mixture of anger and humiliation at your words. Whatever he wanted to pretend, his actions spoke louder than his defensive words. “You sound a lot better when your mouth is stuffed with my dick. Maybe I should just put it back to better use instead,” he threatened.

“Well, I am still waiting for that taste, Tohru.”

#writing #fanfiction #ao3 #tohru adachi #fandom #fic friday #nsft #n/s/f/w #upload #anonymous #asks #answers #request

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glumpiglet · 4 years

Text

Reassurance (Beetlejuice x F!Reader)

Uh.. Hi..Its a me..a humble fic writer joining the massive phenomenon that has been the obsession with our fav feral ghost boi. I’ll write a more in depth first post but basically yeah...I just wanted to contribute and uh I’ll be happy to take any tips or comment..Long time tumblr reader..First time tumblr writer.

Basically there was a prompt post by @boopeen that had angst and fluff prompts so I’m like.. maybe I’ll take one from each list and then this was born.

CW: Bit of swearing, slightly smutty, bordering on NSFW. A mention of Daddy!kink.

Thanks guys <3 I love this fandom

Angst: "no, you're wrong, and here's why."

Fluff "that means a lot, thank you.”

This was the part you were dreading. Glancing at the clock, you noticed it had been an hour since you started getting ready. Not that there was any worry though, the friend picking you up was always late. You had sat at your vanity and painted your face flawless. Fussed with your hair enough to have it the way it looked best tonight, had even put in the dangling earrings, and now just were standing still, bra and panties, hands on your hips, staring at a steadily growing pile of clothes on the bed. Options were running out..

It wasn’t like fashion was never a strong suit. All your life you had been outwardly confident. Sure, you knew what looked good on other people, you had very fashionable friends that always turned to you for advice, but had been weary of things actually on you.

Why did you bother buying any of this crap? You hated most of it. Only a few choice outfits would make your rotation. The rest of it was either stuff friends pressured you into buying, or things that might have fit better last year, but people weren’t lying when they said being in a relationship could cause you to gain weight.

Especially when said boyfriend was the spoiling, gluttonous little demon boy you called lovebug.

Speaking of the devil, your eyes caught a green blur of movement before your body was scooped up in a tight embrace. Beetlejuice had no patience.

Even as he had strolled out of your bedroom earlier, claiming to be going to watch some t.v, ‘leave you to that girl stuff babes.’ You had seen him outside your room, peeking in, trying and failing miserably to be sneaky. It wasn’t that he wasn’t invited in or anything, but he was silly your ghost demon boyfriend. It was his attempt at giving you ‘space’.

He knew he got especially clingy when you were going out.

If he had it his way you’d never leave the house. All his all the time. After many conversations, some louder and angrier than others, you had both come to a happy medium of trust and honesty.

Of course life wasn’t perfect.

Beetlejuice was impulsive, chaotic and emotional.

You were stubborn, dramatic and forceful.

The two of you butted heads just as much as you made up, but you knew your relationship wasn’t ‘toxic’. If anything your relationship had only been getting stronger. Your demon boyfriend was very understanding that you couldn’t live your life that way, a breather stuck with the dead all the time, as sweet as he might make it sound.

But you did want him around, no debating that.

“Changing your mind, babes? Can’t blame ya, you know I’m much better company,” Giggling at his scruff tickling your neck, along with his sloppy tongue. You caressed his arms as you left his embrace, wiping at his saliva and went for your closet. Distraction could not win, tempting as it was or not.

Maybe you could wear the jeans you recently bought with that blouse you got for Christmas….Except you needed to put on your bodysuit for the blouse, it was too see through..Where was that thing?

Your backside was burning with Beetlejuice’s intense gaze as you rummaged into your closet. Wanting to be a bit cheeky, pun intended, you shimmied your hips and said saucily, “Sorry BJ. I haven’t changed my mind. Just trying to figure out what to wear,”

Seduction attempts were honestly quite easy with your boyfriend. It literally took almost nothing to get Beetlejuice going. You had even seen him get aroused by you making a sandwich.

“You licked the knife, babes.” Had been his excuse.

No complaints though, you were a woman in your prime. Humming in pleasure, you felt your hips get taken by chilled hands, caressing across the fabric of your underwear and backside, straight up massaging your ass.

“Mmm...Put on that black dress you know I love.” You crinkle your nose at his suggestion. His touch was wanted, his opinion..Maybe not so much.

“Ugh, I wear that all the time.”

“Why are you being so picky? Trying to impress someone?” Chuckling softly, you had to commend him for trying to not sound suspicious. You knew Beetlejuice too well, turning around to see the tell-tale red tint beginning to come through his hair. You spare him a wilted look.

On the tip of your tongue you had “yeah my other boyfriend.” But since the incident, you had been more diligent to think before you spoke with Beetlejuice.

You had a habit of speaking before thinking, and before Beetlejuice you had no intention of ever curbing the reaction. But as with so much, he changed your view. Not because you had to walk around on eggshells with him, but you were getting to know his insecurities better, and respected that he didn’t like you making jokes like that, even if they were jokes.

There were other ways to be a brat.

Tilted your head, throwing over your shoulder, you whispered, “Don’t be silly. You know you’re the only one for me…..Daddy.”

No one, however, could say you didn’t know how to push his buttons. Beetlejuice purred like an alleycat. Luckily you hadn’t put on your lipstick yet, so you were okay to play a little.

Cupping his chin sweetly, you pulled him down to press your lips gently. Taking the lead, he was obviously giving you the reins, turning around fully to grab at his hair. Parted lips sucked and pulled against each other.

Beetlejuice was holding back very well, good boy that he was. There was no choice but to reward him by scratching and pulling at his once again changing hair, not even having to look to know it would be bright pink this time.

Your demonic mood ring growled and preened, more so like a beast than any sort of man.

Not wanting to get too mussed up, regrettably you pulled back, trying not to laugh at his face following yours, lips pouted and eyes still closed, a dazed expression on his face. These were the moments you craved. Those soft, sweet moments you lulled him into with all of his chaos and craziness. That little ol’ you could bring this powerful being into your submission.

Waiting until his eyes drifted open, all smiles you continued.

“Now please let me get dressed,” Kind enough to guide your love drunk boyfriend back to sit on your bed, you reevaluated the choices in the pile. Okay, these were the things you wore enough to consider them passable…...

“How about this one?” You considered the modest, billowy item he held, deciding to humour BJ, putting your arms through the holes of the dress he was holding. Laughing as he awkwardly stuck your head in, not knowing how to drape it on, you helped him happily.

Standing at the mirror, swaying, imagining how you’d look in this after a few hours in a smoky, hot club.

“That looks great, babes! I don’t think I’ve seen you in this,”

Your critical eye still caught the flaws.

“I can see my rolls in this,”

“So? I love your rolls,” Beetlejuice joined you in the mirror, locking golden eyes with yours, a predator’s gaze. He grasped at your waist, across your problem areas with fervour. You scoffed and tore the dress over your head, throwing it unceremoniously back into your pile of shame. Beetlejuice, not deterred, continued his search with glee, seemingly happy to be helping. It coincidentally was helping with your dying good mood.

You tried not to get down on yourself. You knew you were cute. Had a generally pleasing face. People called you pretty. Being beautiful? Maybe not that far. The idea of being sexxy had never even occurred to you until you had stumbled upon Beetlejuice. You had never thought so but you knew he had no qualms with the eager way he always admired your body.

“Ooo! Put this one on!” Pulled from your thoughts, watching as BJ pulled a colourful one from the hoard, he seemed to consider for a moment. “On second thought, no. Your tits look too good in this.”

“Beetlejuice!” You squealed as always at his candor, grabbing at the sweater he was holding. You quickly whipped it over your head turning to look in the mirror. Immediately you noticed your stomach protruding, distorting the design on the front. Even this one had become tighter, arms looking like sausages in their casing. That was it. A person could only take so much.

“I have to face it BJ. Everything I wear, I look disgusting.” The comment tried to sound normal, but you couldn’t stop the anger in your voice.

At the sudden silence, you looked up from yourself to your boyfriend. It was hard to tell what he was thinking. You guys had never really had a talk about your insecurities. It wasn’t something that happened on purpose, there was no need to ever discuss it before now.

It was hard to feel insecure with the way he worshipped you nightly.

It didn’t stop it from feeling like your truth at times, especially when the answers were in front of you.

"No, you're wrong, and here's why." Grabbing once again at your arms, you were whirled around, trapped against the dresser.

“You are so fucking beautiful babes. It hurts sometimes to think that a gorgeous breather like you puts up with a creepy old guy like me,” Beetlejuice even went so far as to clamp his hand over your mouth, stopping the protest, surprising you.

“But I know you do because you see the me…..Inside of me,” It was hard to not melt when Beetlejuice was being so naively honest. How this demon could be so menacing one moment, and marshmallow fluff the next, it sometimes made your head spin.

“Who cares about the clothes anyways?! Babes, you could be wearing garbage bags with nothing on your feet and you’d still be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my whole afterlife,”

At your ghost’s praise, the realization of being ridiculous began to break through. You knew that you were happy and healthy, which mattered more than whatever dumb voices whispered.

“I know you don’t see it, it’s just...Some days I feel like I look fine and others…..I don’t.”

Beetlejuice embraced you, pressing his entire body against you. Listening to him breath in your hair, taking in his own mossy, earthy smell, you felt peace.

“Even if you don’t feel it, that’s okay. I’ll always tell you your beautiful...Uh… I mean, as long as you know…We’re...dating.” Any mention of commitment was difficult for BJ. You knew of his … ‘Family’ issues and his fears of loneliness and abandonment. If anything, it made you love him even fiercer.

He would tell you he loved you, when he was ready. You guys had been basically living together for almost a year. It was clear how he felt, even if he couldn’t voice it. You weren’t pressuring him, you could see how hard it was for him.

Affection and sex were the things Beetlejuice didn’t struggle with, always needing to be touching you, constantly buzzing around your area, trying to steal all your attention. Was he a massive pain in the ass? Of course. But you could withstand his quirks, all for the prize of your devoted bugman. There’s nothing you would change.

Taking his grimey face, you lovingly looked up at the weirdest, and the best thing that ever happened to you, and smiled.

“That means a lot, thank you.”

#beetlejuice fic #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice musical #beetlejuice x reader #beetlejuicexreader #beetlejuice prompt #prompts #beetlejuice #beetlejuice broadway #charles deetz #lydia deetz #adam maitland #barbara maitland #delia deetz #the maitlands

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theartoflivingalways · 4 years

Text

i’ve been awake for over 24 hours

I haven’t been on tumblr in years. i stopped using it after high school, but I don’t know why. but now I’m back tonight, because I needed someone to talk to, but I have no one to listen. i have friends, i have family, i have a boyfriend. i have a therapist. but no matter what: i feel so unheard, so unseen, and so ignored by everyone in my life that i literally feel like i have no one to truly turn to. for anything. so, here i am. hope i get a warm welcome!!!

here’s the thing: i’m NOT a depressed person. i’m not sad, i don’t have any major mental health issues apart from anxiety and some adhd. and before you take that the wrong way, please don’t. i just got my master’s degree in social work and i’ll be starting my new job as a therapist in a couple of weeks.

but, i’m also NOT a happy person. tbh, i can’t really describe my overall ~mood~ or whatever you wanna call it. i kinda just wake up and survive the day, every day. i take it one day at a time ... kinda like what AA says to do; but no, before you ask or the thought crosses your mind, i’m not an addict. at least not a alcohol/other drugs addict ??? sorry

maybe this is why there’s no one to listen when i need them to. i fucking ramble about literally nothing before getting to the point.

it’s weird that i’m writing right now (ok, typing???). i haven’t done this since i was little. it feels good to do this, to have some sort of outlet when you feel so fucking unseen and unheard by every. single. person. around you.

so i haven’t slept in over 24 hours. it’s my own fault for sure and i have adderall to thank for that (yes i’m prescribed). i decided to start a blog again because i’m sitting here, still wide awake in my apartment, alone, while my boyfriend is sound asleep in my bedroom.

so what’s my fucking problem??? why do i want someone to talk to?? i don’t know honestly. i just feel like lately all i do is listen to others, help others, give myself completely to others. and in return, i get nothing. nothing even close to what i give, or to what i’m capable of giving. which is sad. not for me particularly (maybe?), but for others, yes, i think so.

i’m not saying that i expect anything in return for helping others, because i don’t. i didn’t enter the field of social work for the fucking money. and i know a lot of fucked up shit is going on in the world right now, and in no way do i want to minimize ANY of that. i’m just feeling a little lost and lonely, so i’m hoping this is a new outlet for me to sort out those feelings.

the last couple of hours, i’ve had a LONG string of thoughts. if you read through, you’ll eventually found out how they started. but one of the things i’ve been wrestling with in my mind is the type of person i am.

you see, it’s difficult to be “that” person for others your whole life, especially all the fucking time. if you’re anything like me, you know what i mean by that. and if you aren’t anything like me, well, first of all congrats!!!!, and secondly, i’ll explain what i mean.

when you’re “that” person for others, like myself, it’s easy for other people to walk all over you. take advantage of you, take you for granted, expect you to ALWAYS be there no matter the cost. and of course, why wouldn’t they? you’re always there to help. you’re ALWAYS there to offer support, guidance, and advice. you’re nurturing. you listen. you’re a fucking irreplaceable, loyal to death friend. if you’re VERY much like me, you’re also the one person in your family who isn’t a total fuck up (at least not publicly?)

you’re also nonjudgmental, and you were blessed with the curse of being empathic towards others at all times. empathy of course is beautiful and a very good thing to have in this life, but do you know how hard it is to feel for every single person around you.. and not have anyone feel for you???? damn

also, you never let anyone down!! ever. you’re reliable, dependable, trustworthy to the point where it’s almost sketchy because like??? who can be that way to everyone else at all times? you guessed it- people like me and people like u!! (if this is even semi-relatable, i’m sorry)

but people like us, like you, like me, tend to do this thing where we keep the same shitty fucking toxic people around that have hurt us, continue to hurt us both indirectly and directly, and who have let us down time and time again, because we continue clinging on to the fucking useless hope that “someday they’ll change”. someday, they’ll realize how fucking important you are to them and how shitty their lives are, and would be, without you in it.

you- we - also live by honesty and truthfulness, and assume others just live by this as well. but then you’re proved wrong over and over and over again, yet you never fucking learn your lesson because you are STILL hopeful that somewhere, somehow, deep down, other people DO stand by the morals you try so hard to stand by in life. most of the time, though, you’re completely avoiding the reality of other people and their experiences and who they really are, only to try to fit your own narrative of how you see things and how you think things should be.

if this sounds anything like you... i’m sorry. i know it all too well.

i grew up as the “golden child” in my family. not just my immediate family. my entire fucking family. the pressure to be perfect has lead me to develop debilitating anxiety in my 20′s, and it is what it is, but like, why the fuck couldn’t i have anxiety in high school like a normal teenager? why now?

so yeah my anxiety’s pretty bad. it’s pretty bad tonight, which is why i turned here. to tumblr. to try to write out my thoughts. which, by the way, i’m sorry, because this is an absolute fucking mess and makes no sense. if you are reading this, though, thank you. thank you for listening when no one else seems to.

anyway. growing up with the pressure of being *perfect* has a cost. at least for me it did: 1) anxiety of course, and 2) perfectionist tendencies. these have literally- LITERALLY - ruined my entire college and graduate school experience. perfectionism combined with anxiety is a recipe for fucking disaster, and i’ve been cooking it for years.

i am deliberately writing this without proper punctuation/grammer/whateverthefuckyouwanttocallit, not capitalizing my letters etc., because i want to not have to be so perfect all the time on here, if this is something i’m going to stick to. i know that sounds silly but it’s actually been very difficult for me to write in all lower-caps and i’m very worried that no one will even read this and HEAR ME because of my literacy negligence (i have no idea if that’s even a real thing or if it even has meaning but it sounded right)

do u want to know why i decided to write this though, truly? what lead to me feeling like i’m “spiraling” - apart from no sleep in over 24 hours now? well, get ready to laugh, because i truly think i’m pathetic and going crazy.

i went to dinner tonight with my boyfriend and his fam. our waitress was a girl i used to know years ago in high school. my boyfriend knew her too. in fact, he knew her VeRY well. for the sake of my anxious overthinking, i don’t feel like going too much into the details of *that* situation, so thanks in advance for understanding.

anyway. this corny bitch made a joke about the current political environment. i won’t say what exactly, because i’d really like to keep my identity as concealed as absolutely possible on here. but long story short, no one really laughed - every one just kinda smiled awkwardly. but you know who did laugh? my boyfriend :)

TO ME, it seemed intentional. she wasn’t fucking funny, for one. she made a bad - no, a very bad- joke. like one of those corny dad jokes. not even a dad joke actually. a step-dad joke, except your step-dad is a loser that you hate, who treats ur mom/dad bad, has no sense of humor or a horrible sense of humor and idk, just fucking sucks you know ???

sorry that got kinda dark and it was unnecessary but do u know what i mean??? and no, that was literally not relevant to me or my family system/structure in any way. just kinda came to me, ya know? ...writing works in mysterious ways man

alright so if you don’t agree, that’s fine. i already told you to get ready to laugh, because i am well aware of how insane i fucking sound. but you know what makes anxiety & perfectionism 100x harder to cope with? insecurities. and i’m FULL of them.

so anyway. we left dinner. him & i were driving home. i will admit that i did have some wine at dinner, and i wasn’t drunk but i definitely was feeling cocky enough to stir the pot with him. so, i casually said, “hey... didn’t you date _____?” *insert annoying waitress’s name who i knew once upon a time*

i said it very calmly. very coooool. v collected and nice. he said “no? i’ve never even talked to or hungout with that girl”.

i wish u could see my face as i’m writing this right now bc i cannnot. like i gave u a choice.... the opportunity. tHE SIMPLE opportunity - a chance - to be fucking honest................................

this dude. straight up. lied to my face. about this fucking girl. ???????

YEARS AGO, they most certainly did talk. a lot. in fact, my crAZy ass searched their names on facebook to find their old little love notes to each other that they posted on each others’ walls. which were very cringey but nothing that made me feel jealous or insecure (for once). after all, they were from years ago- i’m talking 5+ - so likeeee.... why would he lie (:

oh and they definitely did hang out because.... i remember clearly.... a PICTURE OF THE two of them *together* *hangin* (prob bangin too) (sorry) years ago in this now-waitress’s bedroom. i believe it was a ~webcam photo~ that they took on the new mac computer her parents prob bought her. so this photo is now NO WHERE to be found. and believe me, i looked. no, i LURKED. i went to the beginnnning of her instagram posts and deep into her uploaded facebook pictures. ok, not ‘deep’, i literally got to the first pic she ever posted on FB just to try to find this damn picture. and it took me for. fucking. ever. because this bitch has prolly posted a million pictures in the last 5+ years like who does that???

but i swear to fucking whatever the fuck that this picture exists. i have fucking seen it. i’d describe it in perfect detail right now as if i saw it today, but, once again, i’m concealin my identity, yo, so i can’t do all that. v sorry

anywho. this dude - who i call my boyfriend (and yes i love him very very much and our past is absolutely fucked but that’s a whole other story for a very different time) - had the nerve, the audacity, to tell me to my face, that he “definitely doesn’t have a picture with her” because “they’ve never hung out or talked before” ... ?!??????

obv i sent him screenshots of the dirt i dug up on facebook from 5+ years ago (i.e., the old posts between them in case ya forgot during my rambling) bc like, caught ya in a lie sir. red handed.

i might be late on mentioning this part, but here’s the fucking kicker (and i’ve never used that phrase and i don’t know why i said that but ok?): TODAY, for the first time in MONTHS, literally!!!, bc of the virus and the quarantine and all that, i got ready today for dinner with his family. like actually got ready. i spent HOURS doing my make up. i don’t even remember the last time i did my make up, ok. i dressed in a really cute outfit. i felt fucking very good about myself. i thought for sure when he’d come pick me up to go to dinner he’d at least say something. at least acknowledge it. he has literally only seen me in raw form for too many days now. like, complete bare face and sweat pants basically every day since march.

but. did he even look at me twice?!!? no. did he mention anything about how i looked? how it was drastically different from my everyday attire the last couple months? did he take 2 seconds out of his day to say something corny or flirty to me? even just, “you look beautiful”??? honestly i would’ve even appreciated, “you look beautiful, for once” ???

did u guess the correct answer? well if u didn’t, it’s N O.

but u know who he did look at twice.

our waitress at dinner.

i think i wrote enough for one night. if u think this is my anxiety/perfectionism/insecurities combination spiraling out of control after being tamed incessantly for 20+ years, PLZ TELL ME.

but also, if you have a fucking brain, you’d know that:

1) this is definitely NOT the first time i’ve responded to something like this the way i did, and

2) i really just needed to ramble on and vent about all the shit that’s been going through my mind the last 2 1/2 hours, so there’s that.

have a good night get some sleep!!! thank u for ur time.

#why #me #cantsleep #upfor24hours #adderall #waitress #insecure #perfect #anxiety #sorry #helpme #help #needsleep #dontwanttotho #goodnight #getsomerest #ily #thanku

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cdelphiki · 5 years

Note

out of curiosity do you think eventually we will get bruce adopting baby tim or are you not planning on writing that far??? pss i love your work :)))))

That’s the next installment of In for a Pound!! I’ve posted about it quite a bit and even shared a scene I already have written, if you want to read that. :D (It might not make it into the actual story, because I decided to bring Tim and Cass in at the same time, which changed Tim’s story some. So the scene might not fit or will be changed accordingly.)

I’m changing up how Tim is coming into the family, so he’s adopting a baby baby Tim. He’s only 10!! 😍🥰

I CANT FIND THE FRIGGEN POST BECAUSE TUMBLR SUCKS ASS. So I’ll just post it again. It’s hidden below the cut. As are my my WIP posts, it is rough in nature and includes some notes to remind future me what I was going for and what I’m missing.

[Tim wakes Bruce up in the middle of the night, it’s just a week or so before his parents are slated to get back. He’s chatted with them on the phone a few times. [Bruce always frowns at how withdrawn Tim is after a phone convo with his parents] [This is also after Bruce has the midnight ‘i hate that you deal with this alone convo]]

“What is it, Tim?” Bruce asked sleepily.

“Oh, uh, n-nothing. Nevermind.” Tim said, trying to leave.

“Tim, bud, it’s clearly not nothing.”

“It’s not important.”

“Of course it’s important,” Bruce said patiently, rubbing at his face, “because you’re important.”

“I- I had a bad dream.”

Bruce supresses the desire to sigh audibly as he sits up and stretches a bit. If Tim were his kid, he’d invite him to just crawl into bed and go back to sleep. But Tim isn’t his kid, and letting someone elses kid sleep in his bed probably isn’t a way to stay on social services’ good side.

“How does hot cocoa sound?” Bruce said as he grabbed a discarded t-shirt off an armchair and slipped it on, placing a hand on Tim’s back to usher him downstairs.

“G-good.”

Bruce winces at the continued stuttering. Tim had quit with the stuttering around him months ago.

“And movies?”

“Okay.”

[Have a scene where Bruce is lamely putting together instant hot chocolate in the kitchen and Tim is being all shy and scared and quiet. Withdrawn.]

“Want to talk about your dream?” Bruce asked once they were sitting on the couch, slowly sipping at the shitty hot cocoa Bruce had managed to put together from instant packets.

Tim is silent for several long moments, during which time [[a movie is playing]]

“I was alone,” he whispered.

Bruce frowned and set an arm up behind the boy on the couch, turning a bit to face him better. That was a nightmare he was used to from Dick or Jason. Not Tim. Not a child who had parents still. “You’re not alone, I promise.”

“Not right now,” Tim said solemnly.

“Son, you’ll never be alone,” Bruce asserted, and Tim finally turned his gaze away from the television and locked eyes with Bruce. Bright, grey eyes with so much pain and fear behind them. With resignation and sadness. Longing and acceptance. Bruce wanted to just reach out and hug away all those horrible emotions, but Tim wasn’t his kid. It wasn’t his place.

“They’re coming back,” Tim said seriously, “and I’ll have to go home.”

Bruce scrunched his face for a moment, contemplating those words. Tim had been alone while his parents were out of town. Not while they were in town. “You can come stay with us again during their next trip, Tim. You’re always welcome here.”

“No I can’t,” Tim cried, setting his mug on the end table so he could hug his knees and hide his face, “they’re sending me to boarding school.”

“What?” Bruce asked, startled, setting a hand on the boys back to rub circles. He’d never seen Tim cry before.

“They said-” Tim croaked, between heavy sobs, “they said that it was— to need supervision— and obviously—” the boy cut off, unable to continue with the thought with his intensity of his tears.

But Tim didn’t need to finish the thought, it was clear the sentiment he was trying to share. It was disgraceful of him to catch the attention of Bruce Wayne. The boy had shone a poor light on Jack and Janet, bringing them public embarrassment for neglecting their child, and so Tim had to be punished by sending him away. Bruce hadn’t realized how serious their mistreatment of the boy had been. He had assumed simple neglect. Not flat out emotional abuse.

Screw Tim not being his. He wasn’t theirs. Not anymore. They didn’t deserve him.

Bruce wrapped his arms around Tim and pulled him in close, eliciting a yelp from the kid as his sobs intensified. “It’s alright, boy,” Bruce soothed, resting his cheek on the top of Tim’s messy black locks, “you’re okay. You won’t be alone, I promise.”

“You can’t promise that,” Tim finally said as he calmed down, relaxed into Bruce’s hold instead of tensed and trying to pull away, as was his initial response.

“Tim,” Bruce said seriously, pulling the boy back by his shoulders so he could look him straight in the eyes, “do you want to go to boarding school?”

“No,” Tim said defensively, desperately, “I want to stay in Gotham.”

“Do you like it here? Would you like to stay here?”

Tim hesitated and looked down, as if he knew it was something he couldn’t have, but nodded anyway.

Bruce gently rested his fingers under the child’s chin, and lifted his face so they were looking at each other again. “Tim, I will fight for you. If you want it, I will fight for you. For you to stay here.”

“Here?” Tim asked, looking around the room. Clearly meaning to ask ‘in Wayne Manor,’ instead of just ‘in Gotham.’

“Yes, Tim. Here. You’re part of this family, bud, and I’ll fight to keep you with us if you want.”

“How?” Tim asked doubtfully.

“I’ll sue for custody. Demand charges be filed against them for abuse and neglect. In court, I’ll fight.”

Tim tensed and pulled away from Bruce’s grasp. “They’re not- they’re not abusive,” he said quickly, then added much softer, almost horrified, “that’ll just make them so mad.”

“They don’t deserve you,” Bruce said simply, placing his hand in Tim’s hair as he combed his fingers through it, “you’re such a good kid, Tim. They have no right to make you feel like this.”

“But-” Tim said slowly, his wide, terrified eyes searching Bruce’s face, for what, Bruce had no idea.

“Tim,” he interrupted, “do you want them to cut you off from everyone and everything you know?” When the kid shook his head, Bruce continued, “Then this is your other option. What they are doing, what they’ve done to you, is neglect. Leaving you alone to fend for yourself since you were five is neglect. Making you feel like you aren’t good enough for them is abuse.”

“But I’m not-” Tim began, but Bruce was having none of it.

“Timothy Jackson Drake,” he said sharply, “you are perfect.”

At that, Tim broke down again, this time flinging himself at Bruce, who caught the boy with years of practice.

“You want me?”

“I want you.”

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izzy-b-hands · 5 years

Note

20-30!

Thank you so much for asking!!!!

20. Favorite character to write?

Already answered, but I don’t mind re-answering cuz I thought maybe I’d narrow my three way tie, but alas, no lol. Still a tie between Ahkmenrah, Snafu, and Skwisgaar.

21. Least favorite character to write?

Ooh-tbh, Larry from NATM just because I feel like I always make him an asshole? Like, I haven’t published all my fic ideas for NATM because I keep making him really mean? And in some it works but in others I’m like ‘jesus chill Lee he’s just a Dude trying his best’ but also at the same time I feel the way Stiller played him and his character arc means he’s got some major ego to him as the films go on? Idk that isn’t a hot take or anything just me being frustrated with Ben Stiller lol

22. Favorite story you’ve ever written?

Hard choice, because I love all my kids, but I cried after writing this one lol: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186781309036/you-know-that-i-love-you

It hit some personal stuff for me, so to be able to have it work organically in a fic so I could also like, mini therapy session myself? Cool af. Also, ppl seemed to like this a lot too, and while that validation isn’t the only reason I write, it’s always cool when my writing makes ppl happy.

23. Least favorite story you’ve ever written?

I don’t really have a least favorite, but I do have some I’m more frustrated with, due to how long they took me to write, etc. Currently? The answer to this is my Mark the Date series because A. it is taking me a day and an age to finish it and B. I feel like it kinda flopped, so it’s hard to pull up any energy to finish it, but like...I may as well now lol. I’ll get it done eventually.

24. Favorite scene you’ve written?

Oh god tbh I have too many I love just cuz like

I can go back to how I felt writing them and yeah

But as of most recent fics, I really this bit:

-Snafu patted the blanket near his head, and waited for Eugene to put out his pipe and lay back beside him before snuggling close to him. “You could be right. Could be God. Could just be love.” “How’s that?” “I think love has its own way. Even before you meet someone, even before you know you’re fallin’ for ‘em. Love’s just…out there, like the air or somethin’. Finds you when the time is right, and finds who you click with. You gotta do the rest, the stayin’ in love part, but that bringing together, that first spark…that’s love just existing, and doin’ what it needs to so the world keeps spinnin’, so people make it through tough shit,” Snafu replied. “I like that,” Eugene said. “Think love did a good job with us. Makin’ sure we found each other.” Snafu pressed a kiss softly to the corner of Eugene’s mouth. “Sure did. Wouldn’t ever want to be with anyone else. I don’t even know what that looks like, and I don’t want to.” “Same here,” Eugene’s mouth was warm as he kissed him back. “Here’s to love for making sure you found me.” -

from this fic: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186926226531/absolution-is-the-taste-of-your-lips

Because I’m sappy af more than I let on, and also this was a chance to like, write out my own feelings via Snafu. And that was a pretty cool and fulfilling thing for me, ya know?

25. Favorite line you’ve ever written?

oh god this is another hard one to narrow down but

I always come back to this line and go ‘oh shit did I really write that. Nah, someone better than me at this had to have. They briefly possessed me or something”:

-Music and talking and shouting and footsteps collide kaleidoscopic in his ears, but none bearing the one sound that he’d run to if he heard it.-

from this fic, mentioned twice now in this post lol: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186781309036/you-know-that-i-love-you

I really love alliteration, and for me this line just sums up how it feels to walk thru a city when you aren’t just wandering really, but are looking or waiting for someone, and have that awful yet sometimes good feeling of expecting to hear or see them but it feels like you’re waiting or searching forever and in the meantime the city just lives on around you, a stopped platelet stuck in a vein full of vitality. Like, idk if it hit any of my readers that way, but that’s what I was trying to get across lol, so the line always hits me hard in a good way when I scroll thru my writing tag and see it.

26. Story you’re most proud of?

Gosh

I gotta choose just one kid for this aldsfkja I’m bad at choosing I love my gaggle of ragtag goofballs. I have an original piece I’d choose for this, but I’ve never posted it on here, so I’m gonna choose out of my fanfic on here instead.

One I am really proud of is this one: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/186781309036/you-know-that-i-love-you

and I know it’s the third time it’s been part of an answer on here but

I really love this one idk. Thinking back to how I felt while writing it, how it all flowed in a certain way. The whole experience was just something else, and I’m proud of this one in a certain way I find myself, funnily enough, unable to describe.

27. Best review you ever got?

Okay this sounds cheesy but like

I really do love and appreciate every review or review-like thing I’ve ever gotten so I can’t choose just one for this

Like, y’all gotta understand, I’ve deleted some of it and erased traces of it from my blog, but I’ve written for years on here, I have some stuff on my ao3, and for the longest time I got nothing back, or very nearly nothing. Maybe a few likes, but no comments and not much else. I always just rolled with it and assumed I just wasn’t writing anything good enough to inspire reviews. Idk if that’s true or not, but in any case it means I cherish every comment, like, reblog, and anything review-like in nature because I’m so grateful to have it now, and I know it could well be pure luck that I stumbled up on a really supportive bunch of fandoms with great readers.

In other words, thank y’all for every kind word and like and reblog and also I may be an immortal feeding off of validation of my art, but we’ll see on that last bit, because I haven’t tested it.

28. Worst review you ever got?

One from middle school. I’d just finished my very first novel, gave it to a friend to read, and he said it ‘smacked of being too fanciful and childish, something only kids and women would read’ (it was a YA fantasy novel so I mean... what exactly he expected, idk cuz he knew what it was before I gave it to him, like it’s supposed to have those elements as a lot of these sorts of novels/stories do, and that isn’t a bad thing about them at all, so like...what his damage was idek.)

Also this is the same dude who texts me randomly and is really weird abt his friendship with me and happens to be an English teacher now (RIP to his students.)

Anyway, after he said that I tossed a review right back, because well, middle school and also I was very upset with him because I’d not asked for anything other than a general ‘if you picked this up randomly and started it, would it suck you in enough to keep reading or would you put it down’ like that was literally all I needed him to answer for me. So I told him his latest novel (his second at that point) was essentially just him masturbating to his own opinions (because he’s an arguer, who loves to tell ppl they’re always wrong, and that’s by his own admission) for one hundred pages, and not in a way that anyone else would care to read. He was pissed, but so was I. We didn’t talk for a good week, and we had almost all our classes together lol.

Like, getting nothing back in review sucks too, but this one has stuck with me forever. Best part? I mentioned it to him a few years back, and he only vaguely remembered it, and followed it with “but I’ve said a lot of rough stuff about your work. I mean, it deserved it at the time, but you might be good at this someday!”

I didn’t smack him, but I really, really wanted to.

29. Favorite story/poem of another author

This doesn’t specify on Tumblr or not, so I’ve got two: one from outside tumblr, and one from on here.

A. When I have Fears That I May Cease to Be by John Keats

When I have fears that I may cease to be Before my pen has gleaned my teeming brain,Before high-pilèd books, in charactery, Hold like rich garners the full ripened grain;When I behold, upon the night’s starred face, Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,And think that I may never live to trace Their shadows with the magic hand of chance;And when I feel, fair creature of an hour, That I shall never look upon thee more,Never have relish in the faery power Of unreflecting love—then on the shoreOf the wide world I stand alone, and thinkTill love and fame to nothingness do sink.

B. Again, this Tumblr one could be a huge ass list because y’all on here are amazing, but one I’ve been rereading over and over again recently is @xmxisxforxmaybe ‘s Remnants series, which can be found here: https://xmxisxforxmaybe.tumblr.com/post/186702235396/remnants-complete-work

Like, Ahk as a character is captured so well, and I love the way the plot twines and also when the smut comes up? Very good A+ smut, something I value pretty highly on and off Tumblr because man, sometimes smut is just work to write, so I appreciate it when it’s really good. All around, this series has captured my heart and I legit have a link to it saved on multiple devices so if I need something to read, I can just pull it up right away.

30. Hardest part of writing?

Self-doubt. It’s the biggest hurdle for any artist, regardless of the art in question I think, but with writing it seems to double down a lot. Like, you have to really get out of your own head, even as you spend all your time there with your writing ideas. Shit gets weird and twisted, man.

For the longest time, I really let self-doubt defeat me too, and I regret the time I lost to that. I still get hit with it randomly, cause I don’t think it every really goes away for any writer, not even the big names like Stephen King or Neil Gaiman (who I’m half tempted to @ on here purely because I wanna know his feelings on this stuff because I respect and admire him as an artist and his thoughts very much, but also he’s a very busy man so I’m not gonna bug him by doing that lol.)

All there is to do is to work with it, push past it, and most importantly keep writing. I have days where that feels like the hardest thing, but each day I manage to get past it and get the words down? I let myself feel proud of that, and mark it as an achievement in my Big Book of Stuff I’ve Done in This Life.

#text post #ask box things #these answers got long and wordy but I doubt that surprises anyone lol #this helped to answer a bunch of these too #finally got me to a point where I feel ready to try and sleep even if I'm not tired #so thank you to everyone who asked me stuff!!!!#apineappleheart

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mexitaerry · 5 years

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Lunch Lad (1)

Okay so.... I haven’t been on tumblr since like forever but I had this idea for a Harry fic (that probably no one is going to read) so I started writing the first chapter and decided to post it here. I made it a Harry x Reader so anyone can enjoy it even though Y/N says one thing in Spanish. Anyway, if you like it and want me to post more let me know!

Y/N is tired of paying and arm and a leg for lunch so she looks for a solution but keeps bumping into a cute boy with green eyes

“I swear if I have to pay $14.99 for a salad again I’ll cry” Y/N said as she sat for lunch and slightly wince at how hard she slumped.

“I know but Dice’d is literally the only place we can even afford around here” Magie, her co-worker and friend sighed as she also pulled out a salad.

“I wish I could just make lunch at home but with the hours I work” Y/N frowned as she stabbed a tomato and popped it into her mouth “there’s no time”

Don’t get her wrong, Y/N loved her job despite the long hours but that’s how you make your way to the top. Currently Y/N was just a PR assistant at the reputable a Entertainment PR/Management firm named TEA Unlimited (TEA standing for Top Emerging Artists because if you needed the newest and hottest artists everyone knows you HAVE to go to them)

This had been her goal since she graduated with a PR degree over a year ago. It took sometime and a lot of invitations to connect on ConnectOn but here she was, living the dream she guesses. On the bright side it was getting her one step closer to her career goal, to become a publicist for the biggest artists and hopefully one day start her own management firm (or take over TEA, whichever came first). But for now she had to start as an assistant, the pay wasn’t bad but with student loans, rent, utilities and the price of a 30-day metrocard her paycheck sometimes seemed like an illusion.

Thankfully, as soon as she got the job at TEA she met Magie and-

“I have arrived!” a voice said as Y/N heard the door slam and heels clicking on the floor.

Y/N and Maggie simultaneously rolled their eyes playfully

“Hello sir Collin” Y/N said with a smirk

“Colie” Maggie nodded

“I’m glad you addressed me accordingly darling” Collin smiled at Y/N then turned to Magie with a scowl “unlike SOME people”

Y/N laughed as both of her friends stared each other down. After a few minutes she decided to intervene “What did you get for lunch?”

“McDonald’s” Collin sighed dramatically “Woe is me, the life of a brokie!”

Y/N snickered while Magie rolled her eyes again, this time actually annoyed

“If you won’t have spent your money on those boots” Magie muttered behind her salad as she quickly stuffed a piece of lettuce in her mouth

“I heard that” Collin frowned “What do you know about fashion darling?” he raised a leg above the table to show off the new boot on his right foot

Magie stuck her tongue out “At least I’m not the one eating McDonald’s for the 3rd day in a row”

“As my mom always use to tell me ‘ahora comete el zapato’” Y/N interjected before the petty argument escalated

“What?” they both turned to her confused

“It translates to ‘eat your shoe now’ because you used your food money to buy them”

Magie let out a laugh while Collin huffed

“Whatever” Collin bit into his burger

So as said before Collin’s grand entrance Y/N moved in with Magie and Collin. It’s a “3 bedroom” (they’re literally closets) in Harlem close to the train so they make it work.

“If I keep having to pay an arm and a leg for lunch I swear I’ll go insane” Y/N lamented

“Amen!” Collin slammed his fist on the table

“I second that I guess” Magie shrugged

“Your outbursts are the reason why we pick this time to have lunch” Y/N said as she pointed her fork in Collin’s direction

“You two love it” Collin said as a matter of factly “Plus you don’t have to hear Wanda complain about how no one wants her to be their rep anymore.”

“True” The girls nodded

The trio laughed as they continued to eat their lunch but in her head Y/N wondered how she could solve their problem. There had to be a way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Pssssst! You done yet?” Magie asked

“Ugh” (Y/N) grunted in response

“Is that a yes or???”

“A dead yes but a yes” Y/N affirmed as she covered her head with her arms

“Well it’s 8pm and I think this is the earliest we’ve been done all week so get you ass up because I want to go home” Magie complained

“Alright alright let me go get my coat”

“We’ll pick up Collin on the way out!” Magie smiled as she skipped away not waiting for Y/N to trail behind her

“Hold on!” Y/N said as she ran after her

They rounded the corner and found Collin still at the front desk an exasperated look on his face.

“Finally!” He shouted

“Sh!!!! There’s still people in the office” Y/N reprimanded

“Yeah yeah” Collin rolled his eyes and waved his hand

“Let’s go ladies!” Magie shouted

“I hate you two” Y/N pouted but it soon turned into a smile as the pair replied “We know”

They walked into the crisp fall air and made their way to through the small park to the train.

“I don’t know if I’ve refilled my metrocard again, I guess we’ll find out!” Collin laughed while Magie and Y/N shook their heads.

Magie turns to Y/N “5 bucks says he didn’t”

Chuckling she replied “You’re almost guaranteed to win, that's not fair.”

As they got to the turnstile Magie looked over to her excitedly because there was a very high chance she was right.

“The moment of truth” Collin said as he dramatically raises his right hand to swipe “Here goes”

Collin swipes his metrocard and suddenly the bright beep of the card being accepted rings out.

“HA! You owe me 5 bucks” Y/N smiles triumphantly

Magie sticks her tongue out as she swipes through “I could have sworn I remembered that he didn’t have money in it”

Y/N went up next “Well, sucks to su-” she was interrupted by the sound of the low beep which indicated that her card was rejected “What the-”

“HA! So I was right after all, I knew someone hadn’t refilled their card” Magie smirked

“Oh shut up, I still won the bet”

“At least you can use the 5 dollars to refill it” Collin shrugged

“Right, let me just-” Magie started rummaging through her bag “I know I have one in here”

Y/N sighed as she looked at the sign that said the train was coming in a minute

“Mag the train-”

“I’ve got you” came a voice from beside her

(Y/N) turned to look and was met by green eyes. For a quick second she notices how close they were but soon hears a high beep and snaps back.

“Thanks!” is all she could muster out

She doesn’t get to hear a reply, all she hears is Magie and Colin pull her along and say “Come on!”

Collin gives the stranger a quick “Thank youuuu!”

Suddenly the train doors close and the train whisks to its next stop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N is late.

She can’t even blame Magie or Collin because they’re not even supposed to go in this early.

As she rushes up the stairs to get out of the train she is stopped by a cheerful “Hello!”

Her eyes dart to the source of the greeting and she knows she’s fucked

The woman smiles as her “Would you be interested in joining LunchLad? It’s a meal service and if you take this card you get a 20% discount when you sign up!”

“Uh sure” Y/N nods and takes the card

“Have a nice day!” the woman chirps

Y/N then remembers she’s late and sprints up the stairs. She makes it to her desk with a minute to spare. As she clocks in she remembers the card in her hand.

LunchLad.

She wonders what it’s about. Quickly, she types the link into the search engine and clicks on the first link.

Hm. Maybe this is what she’s been looking for.

Hello again! More Harry is coming in the later chapters (probably the next) I just wanted to set a background. Let me know if you liked it!

Love,

#harry styles x reader #y/n harry #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry x latinx reader #latinx reader #harry styles y/n

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steve0discusses · 6 years

Text

Yugioh S2 Ep 36 Part 2: Pegasus Lives Every Artist’s Worst Reocurring Nightmare

Normally I don’t do more than two posts on a weekend but considering the last post was just overflow on color theory and sort of a mini post (which I was pleasantly surprised so many people liked, thanks for the kind comments on that random color theory aside), and also considering that I try not to do work on the weekend and I’m just kinda bored, here’s the second part of Ep 36.

Lets do a series recap shall we?

-Yugi Muto is three people (this is including a chunk of Bakura which just...lives there but doesn’t do anything)

-Odion is pretending to be Marik

-Marik is pretending to be Namu

-Tea is possessed by Bakura’s ghost

-Ryou Bakura is no longer possessed, but got hella shanked and passed out on Kaiba’s blimp, so we don’t know yet if he was actually British or if that was just a ghost thing.

-Serenity is Joey’s Sister and she Actually Truly Exists although I have kept close track and no one has yet to tell Kaiba who’s sister she is.

-Duke Devlin is just permanently here now, taking the place of Tea Gardner for “Character the writers have no freakin idea what to do with”

-Grandpa passed out a few episodes ago but I think the show forgot.

-Ishizu is here and is hiding from Marik for her dear life despite the fact she still thinks he’s a good boy.

-Shadi showed up to save Tristan and Duke although Shadi has never spoken a word to either of them and has no idea who they are at all.

There we go. A cliff notes-version all in one place. It’s a lot to remember.

Now we’re ready for another round of exciting duel prep.

That’s right, Shadi’s here, and he’s ready to dump a lot of plot on us. Which is why I felt like it would be nice to get a summary up to now because now we’re going to get even more nonsense we have to remember in this kid’s show that I had no idea would be this complicated when I started capping it.

(read more under the cut)

Can we talk about the knot Shadi is using here on that Ankh?

What is that?

OK, I just wanted everyone to look at that and then just...wonder with me,

Anyway, if you were looking for some explanation this episode, this is not that episode, because Shadi is here, and he just...never feels like fully explaining anything. He only ever feels like adding more and more to our bucket of Lore like it’s the 5th book of Harry Potter.

That’s right, this episode is a return to Pegasus, who I do miss. I mean Marik is fine, all in all, but I do miss how Pegasus knew what he was actually doing. I kinda miss my villain who was also a functioning adult.

Anyway, while Pegasus was searching the dunes of Egypt for Egyptian art to make OC’s of and add to his collection, Shadi and he had a very awkward reunion. Bear in mind these two haven’t spoken since Shadi fused Pegasus’ face with a haunted table weight.

And like, here’s the thing about Pegasus--he has the most reason of anyone on this show to not trust Shadi. Yet, now he’s going to follow Shadi into a hole. Literally follow Shadi into a dark and scary hole where no one would find his body.

Thing I wasn’t expecting from this show: Marik’s family is mole people????

OK…

I mean...I guess we’ll just gloss over that.

I mean...I guess I’ve never really thought about it but like...yeah they have to take care of a tomb and the tomb is underground so they just...hang out down here most of the time. Guess that explains how Marik ended up kind of albino-blonde.

Anyway, it’s here that we see a familiar relief sculpture—Apparently Ishizu just excavated her own sacred tomb and was like “lets ship this to Japan to screw with Seto Kaiba.” Not like I blame her, Seto is very easy to screw with.

But here she is being like “I’m this incredible Egyptologist give me your money!” when all she did was loot herself. Well...loot the Pharaoh, I guess, but he’s dead so wtv.

And so, after running around an ancient tomb collecting curses like fleas, he boards a business class, awkwardly shares an armrest with his photographer who equally refuses to give up the armrest (like what the hell is this armrest situation?) and has to endure our colorist’s favorite shade of chartreuse.

Purple/chartreuse is a pretty solid color combo, not gonna lie, but it is the last thing I ever want to see in a plane.

Also, Croquet is back. I guess this was before Pegasus bought an island, and it’s this episode we start to see why he might have wanted to flee the States.

Sometimes I forget this show is based on a horror anime, and this was an episode that brought us back to basics. Like, this is something I would absolutely expect to happen in Season Zero.

I cannot believe that this children’s show had a darkroom murder scene. The audacity. And not just a darkroom murder we also get this type of murder shortly after,

How do you go from the darkroom to this!?

The older I get, the more I would gladly welcome a Huge Sky Dragon over the actual drama I have to deal with on the reg. Please, please let me put Huge Sky Dragon on the ballot. We will let him have Salesforce Tower, he clearly comes with electricity and rain clouds and California desperately needs both those things.

Downside to Huge Sky Dragon unfortunately, is that he kills you.

So, in the classic horror protagonist archetype, Pegasus puts on his favorite shades of beige, he goes into an isolated room where no one can save him, and he reaches for that good ol hubris. Since, in his mind, he has a millennium eye, he’s the all powerful Pegasus, what could hurt him?

You gotta love that he’s such a purist that he paints an itty bitty card on a 6000% bigger canvas. Love that classic illustration nod right there. (and not gonna lie, I would kill for Pegasus’ studio. Damn. Look at it.)

Also look at this in the next cap! He can paint something that’s not a monster or his dead wife--is that a completely normal still life of some random purple flowers back there behind him? What’s he doing painting those??? He’s off killing 1 or 2 people a day in his human sacrifice chamber why’s he painting lilies in pots like everyone’s Mom during Wine ‘n Paint night?

Dude, does Pegasus go to Wine ‘n Paint night? I mean he would, right? Like he would be the first there with a huge ass bottle of wine/juice and be like “I am ready to sip, paint, and gossip about everybody’s husband.” Yo, he’d be killer at Wine ‘n Paint night. Like, I would never be Pegasus’ friend but I would absolutely paint some dumbass flowers in the same room as him as he gets tipsy on margaritas and starts going off about the Great British Bake Off.

And, much like I do when I finish most of my art at 2 AM, he passes out directly after and has anxiety laden dreams about what he just painted for the rest of the evening.

So lets get this straight, if you reproduce this image in any way, let it be traditional, digital, camera, or whatever—you will arouse the God Card ghosts and be straight up The Ring murdered. Unless, you tattoo it to a person’s back, then apparently you’re cool. Also, what the hell was Ishizu doing bringing this thing to a museum? Like yeah it’s in a restricted section but they had like no security on those doors so it’s like, girl—anyone who takes a selfie here will be dead. What else are museums for except avenues for selfies? Way to curate a museum, Ishizu. You had one job.

Also does that mean that if Marik photobombs people without his shirt on that they super die? That kinda sucks a lot, no wonder he wants to get rid of Pharaoh. Marik just wants to go to the beach without having to wear a hoodie and getting a weird tan.

Oi, hashtag relatable, amiright?

Anyway, Pegasus realizes he can’t post this art on main, so he decides to give it to Ishizu to bury it for him. Essentially, he put on his brother’s tumblr because he’s trying to be a professional here but like, who are we joking, the guy draws kids art for dollars. His friends, much like my friends, are full aware of what our sketchbook looks like.

After hearing this weird story, Pharaoh decides to take over and give some closing remarks.

Yugi got TWO huge bottles of mystery purple moisturizer??? Maybe one is just full of hair gel.

Man, Seto had him double covered, he knew--he knew Yugi was nuts for products.

I wonder if it’s full of LA Looks.

I appreciated that Pharaoh might have a physical body but he still enjoys spooking people like a ghost should.

Well, I mean.

So many questions here, but I assume we’re going to learn more about it later? Like why the hell Marik is...in a tomb? As a baby? With a...flower wreath?

What even is this show. Don’t put babies in tombs!

I don’t even know why Shadi even bothered showing up here. Like Ishizu already knows “it’s happening,” she has a future necklace.

Did Shadi show up to every single person on in this ship, Roland and Kaiba included, before actually going to the one place he needed to go?

Man. Phallic necklace. Did they not know about goatse in the early 00’s? Please don’t look that up if you don’t know what it is. I just.

Phallic necklace, please. You’re killing me.

Anyway, Shadi sees a chance to make a change and fix some things with the one person on this ship who desperately needs fixing, and while he’ll save Tristan and Duke and tell Yugi all about his history and etc—actually confronting Bakura? No thanks. Shadi will stay in his safe keyblade power place where no one can see or hear him, not even Bakura.

Not sure why any of the doctors haven’t picked up on Tea being weird as hell yet, but like...compared to the Kaibas and everyone else, I guess possessed Tea is the most normal person on this flying boat.

But that’s all for now, next week we see if they actually start dueling or if instead, even more people from S1 show up on this boat.

If you just got here, we’re like over halfway through S2, so here’s a link to read everything in chrono order from S1 Ep1, have fun.

#Yugioh #Yugioh recap #photo recap #S2 Ep36 #yugi muto #joey wheeler #Maxamillion Pegasus #Shadi #Croquet #Bakura #Tea Gardner #Ishizu #Pegasus really effed everything up when he majored in art huh

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bomberqueen17 · 6 years

Text

lalabob11 replied to your post “49,555 ugh i’m so close just ugh”

Okay, the more you talk about this the more I want to read it. And I joined tumblr for Star Wars content damn it! Admittedly, it was *your* Star War content that initially drew me here. But I guess now I’m on board for smugly pregnant solar punk mammoths or something.

clotpoleofthelord replied to your post“NaNo update: have made par for today but am going to try to push on....”

oh my goodness i am Intrigued

Yeah? I’ve been feeling like while the setting is interesting enough, I don’t have enough of a story for it to be anything that can like, hook anyone’s interest yet. I am heartened by evidence that maybe I can parlay this setting into something people might be interested in actually following where it goes.

thesacredreznor replied to your post “clotpoleofthelord replied to your post “49,555 ugh i’m so close just...”

that's, like, the thing about nano. i have never once actally managed to write an ending to my nano project. i'm so close this time but i can't think of a satisfying ending so i'm gonna edit first and hope it comes to me. good luck!

Good luck to you!!

I did that once. I won NaNo in 2002 and was all like Now I Am A Real Writer and then nothing came of it and I couldn’t make it work, and then I did it again in 2003 and was like “wow... I am Genius” because I was so good at making wordcount, but like... I think it was 2004 or so that I was like OKAY this isn’t HELPING I am going to instead Devote Myself To A Complete Novel, not just wordcount, and so I busted my ass and wrote a whole-ass romance novel, a little bit cynically I admit, and I finished it, and there was a plot resolution and everything, and then I tried to edit it and it sucked. (Yeah, that was it, it was ‘04 when I wrote the novel with the Vikings.) I couldn’t commit to the genre; I wanted a romance novel but couldn’t keep from maybe-magic or at least some weird mysticism, and I swung wildly from sweet to explicit without warning and unrealistically, and it was just. A hot mess. And I didn’t know anyone who was like, good at editing, and so I got a lot of critiques that swung from too mean to too nice and nobody had a good overarching vision for it.

So like. That novel is half-revised in a metaphorical drawer somewhere, never to see the light of day again probably. Sigh.

(I think the only thing it had going for it was that there was a really hot scene where the hero had the heroine trapped up against a tree in the woods as a search party looked for her, and he had a sword at her throat so she wouldn’t call out to them, but she had a knife at his side that he literally never noticed her holding, and the entire time she’s aware that she could kill him before he has a chance to kill her but she doesn’t want to; she’s already defected, in her heart, and he doesn’t know. Also at least one of the sex scenes was pretty scorching by my standards of the day and I have a hunch would probably stand up to rereading now, if I do say so myself. And there was an old witch who was pretty great.)

Anyway. I should revisit that goal of writing An Complete Novel sometime, that would be a real good idea, and maybe I should do it now. Maybe I know someone now who could actually be helpful. (If you are a person I’ve known since that time, I freely admit that the problem might well be me; I never knew how to ask properly for help and I still don’t.)

#lalabob11 #thesacredreznor #clotpoleofthelord #nanowrimo #i should really compile my greatest hits of nanos past sometime #and just do a massive snippet series #it would be funny #but i don't know if i can take looking at all my old shit like that all at once #my entire career of never actually making anything into anything #gosh this has been going on a while

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tayegi · 7 years

Note

im crying not only bc of your amazing writing, but bc i was scrolling thru my dashboard and i saw you answering all these asks about new rules and i’m so dump thinking that you set up new rules or sthg, i didn’t understand it so i read all those asks and fucking spoiled myself kmp, but on another note yOU FUCKING ROCK OMG NEW RULES IS SO AMAZING I LOVE IT 💘💘💘

Anonymous said:I'M LOVING NEW RULES SO MUCH just wanted to show my support. i love your writing in general don't get me wrong but new rules is messing with my heart and it's amazing

Anonymous said:Hi! I just read both parts for "New Rules" and I loved them! If this goes in the same direction as Dua Lipa sings (I guess it will) it sounds like it'll be very interesting. I love how everyone in the story is human, not just good or bad, you know? 90% of fics would've made Mijoo the stereotypical barbie bitch, but you didn't and I was pleasantly surprised! I also feel very identified with the OC. I really want her to open up and discover who JK really is, whoever that is. Keep up the good work!

jabaelashit said:Hey! i already wrote you a message on one of your posts but i just wanted to say that i am feeling so skabakks right now, I can't stop thinking about new rules and i'm torn between crying or crying but w angsty. I hope oc learns her worth and can understand she's just as amazing as mijoo, even better if we're talking about morals but oh well people fuck up:( I'm glad she forgave her but I hope she distances from her cause that gurl ain't having the same respect for the friendship as oc/1

jabaelashit said:and i also hope she gets to tell jimin her feelings not to like make him break stuff w mijoo, but to let him know she hadnt seen the note and to release some pressure and feelings cause oc bottles up so much and i just want to go and hug her and don't leave her until she understands shes fucking badass and cool and that the way she thinks is 👏👏👏 lu you've made me feel such a diverse amount of emotions i don't know what to do w myself anymore, your writing is amazing! love love loove you❣/2

Anonymous said:Hey!!:) idk if this is the right place to send compliments cause im really new to tumblr but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR FICS. Tbh I'd buy it if you published a physical compilation;)

Anonymous said:Wow for the longest time I was searching your old username; idek why cause I’ve known you changed your username and have been keeping up to date with you LMAO this is what being sick and delirious does to me. ANYWAYS! Hope you’re not too down with the crazy anons your story is great and I’m thankful for the dynamic characterizations you create! It makes it so much more interesting cause you create many characters with depth!!

Anonymous said:Can I please just have your writing talent? The OC is just so real, and that moment when she's deciding what to do with Mijoo, and what she actually says at the end.... I can't actually put my thoughts into words. I'm legit stunned by the sheer amount of emotions I felt reading the second chapter. I genuinely adore the banter between JK and OC, I personally prefer people to be more direct with what they want, so I already appreciate them, but also Jimin's convo with OC... (1/2)

Anonymous said:Jimin's convo with OC... Idk about these other anons going off on Mijoo, I was more thinking 'why didn't Jimin chase the note?' and then he would have had his answer then and there. But that might have just been me... And also, thinking back to it now, when JK said 'I need you' and OC repeated it back to him like super softly, like she was surprised oh god, okay, my heart is breaking even more for OC now, idk if I'm reading too much into it. I love you Lu, I hope you're well, and happy! (2/2)

Anonymous said:I love your fics so much!! The sass is real esp with jungkook 😂

Anonymous said:Anyways do ya thang hunny ✨ Keep wrecking me with your writings 💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨😩

Anonymous said:Read part 1 of New Rules and was like yeah thisll be fun, I'll have a great time. Then I read part 2 and ended up shedding some real tears at the end?!?! LU WHAT THE...... But really though its so nice to read a fic where the OC values friendship. The idea that its always girls against girls makes me sad.. we should be sticking together!!

Anonymous said:so... surprise surprise, dis gon be about new rules 😂 but I really wanted to thank you for adding so much of the oc's inner dialogue, and making her such a character in the first place. a lot of fics do not portray ocs with more defeatist attitudes, but yours does and I was glad, because I could finally relate to a fic :) also, coming back to the inner dialogue thing, it was so in depth that i could really feel what the oc was feeling, what she was going through. it was amazing ❤️ thank you!

Anonymous said:Man this is one hell of a good fic i’m highly anticipating the next chapter!!! Even though it seems like traditional frat fuckboy x ‘i hate frat bois but ye i’d fuck u’ type of girl it still is in a way a little different i just can’t quite catch how but nonetheless it’s amazing!!! Keep up the good work babe

oceanjoon said:ok so ur newest fic new rules literally is so real n relatable !! like honestly i understand seeking physical comfort in people u dont care about wen u r feeling down/insecure to validate urself n it just rlly hit home

kyarybunny said:Lu. At this point I have so many compliments to give you I can't really form it all properly. But I really am enjoying New Rules and this plot you're breathing life into! It's a different facet of your writing and I love how you can interpret every character's actions in a few different ways. Thank you for continuing to write and I hope you enjoy writing as much as we do reading/analyzing.

Anonymous said:Istg when I read the new chapter of New Rules I clenched my fist like that Arthur meme when it came up to the part about mijoo and the note. Girl got me heated lol. As usual, your works do not disappoint! I love your wittiness and how it shines in your writing. The remarks and dialogue in all of your series really proves your talent. You’re truly a gem amongst fanfic writers 💕☺️📢

Anonymous said:i was happily reblogging a few things on my dash and ch1 of new rules just came and i started reading WHERE THE FUCK DID I GET MY ASS INTO???!!!???!?! IT'S FUCKING AMAZING i don't know why i didn't start reading before. don't you ever dare stop writting, you're such a good writter and i enjoy your works very very much

Anonymous said:OC DESERVES HAPINESS JUST AS MUCH AS MIJOO. OC SHOULDVE PUT HERSELF AND HER HAPPINESS BEFORE HER FRIEND'S BECAUSE SHE IS TOO GOOD FOR ALL OF THEM DJFJFJ i hope one day jimin finds out about her feelings :(

Anonymous said:new rules just keeps getting better and better 😻😻

Anonymous said:Wow.. Okay.. I do believe chapter 2 of New Rules has officially ruined me. My heart was actually beating so fast through out the whole chapter, and it's still racing now too. I've thought this multiple times while reading your fics, but you're writing really is incredible. Your characters and the way you describe their emotions is so unbelievably relatable that the reader can't help but be sucked in. I always find myself becoming invested in your characters! Thank you for all the adventures!

Anonymous said:I felt so bad for the OC this chapter ;.; If I were in her position, I'd probably do the same since causing a scene is yes, immature and not worth the energy. But, if i could be a character in New Rules I'd probably be the other best friend who'll be like "guurl, confront her ass it isnt an excuse just because she's your friend." All in all I see the OC as the kind of person who'll go out of their way to care for someone to the point of disregarding their own feelings, which is unhealthy :( (1)

Anonymous said:(2) but thats what makes her such a relatable character. I really, really like that in your OCs. This is probably the second OC i emotionally relate to, first is Copper Girl. But yeah I'm just distracting myself from assignments lol this series is amazing and just you are amazing Lu!!!! ily!!!!! PS. Jungkook is still agsjshskll he's cocky but with OC he's quite vulnerable. I wonder why? Is it just a front or does he have other intentions?

Anonymous said:alternative ending to new rules: mijoo and mc are over their respective boys, does not bother to get into any messy scenarios like that ever again, love each other and support each other and is forever the friendship that everyone envies anD I HATE THIS SITUATION SO MUCH GODDAMMIT LU!!! UR REALLY TRYING TO TEAR MY HEART APART!!

marchxseptember said:OH MY GOD CHAPTER TWO IS UP. I HAD A FEELING SO I HAD TO CHCK UR ACC AND I WAS RIGHT. BRB GONNA READ

marchxseptember said:AND THE PLOT THICKENS. I JIST FINISHED READING CH. 2 AND I AM FUCKED UP. I HAD A THEORY BEFORE BUT NOW I HAVE LIKE 2 MORE IM CONFUSED. I LOVED IT SOOO MUCH. AND I HATE MIJOO NOW. I CANT WAITT TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN. THIS WAS SO GOOD LU.

omg the amount of response ive gotten for new rules is unbelievable. I dont think ppl were even this into equilibrium. the last time u guys acted like this was during the golden boy trilogy and it really feels so good to have this again.

thank you all for your thoughtful messages and for giving this ridiculous little fic a chance. I love you all

#new rules #keehyung #lu answers

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survivorelara · 6 years

Text

Episode #1: “So thank you Gods and Goddesses.” -Ci’ere

three people on this tribe are 100% pros they have mangastars as their pfp im scared

Okay, this is my second time typing this because I accidentally deleted the first attempt ASDF. Hello every1 out there 👽 I'm so thrilled to be playing Elara because I know that the hosts are going to make this an awesome experience! We began our journey about an hour & a half ago, but something tremendous has already occured... I happened to snatch the Zosma idol on my first guess! Something about the placement of the 39th star spoke to me & luck was definitely on my side, so thank you celestial gods and goddesses! I’m kind of wondering if the idol locations & the iconic phrase “18 people, 39 days, 1 Survivor” have any correlation. Hmm. :O Even though I have some power to fall back on now, I don’t wanna have to rely on the idol to save myself so I’m stepping up to the plate socially to hopefully solidify myself in this group. I was hyped before, but this hype train has went through the ceiling!

Not only am I in this game with like many other Facebook ORGers.... I'm the least popular of them all. Like I see Emma, Ci'ere, Andrea and Toby... like they have a good friend group and people generally like them. Me on the other hand, I get easily annoyed with certain people and groups within this community and I have been told that I am a rainy and dark cloud. I mean, LOVE the comparison... but when you're in a "scavenger hunt" and one of the things is to get 50 reactions on a post and I average about 5-6... it ain't looking good for this bitch. And ITS ONLY DAY 1.

Great question. I am trying to figure that out. I realize not knowing discord puts me at s disadvantage. Let’s hope we win till I can figure it out.

Well I like this tribe, I'm feeling good about things at the moment, I've talked to loris, Andreaa, and John who I had a prior relationship with. They all seem nice enough. I'm hoping to make more connections with people in the near future, because with only 6 people on the tribe I need to make ABSOLUTE sure I'm in the numbers.

I'm such a flop, I did almost all my voice recordings on my phone while I accidentally left voice chat on. My Computer Mic isn't great and it was only for a little while, nobody said anything, so I don't know if anybody caught anything I might have said for the challenge, but the worst thing that might have been caught was my statement about Dani

We're approaching the end of Day 1 and I don't think I've made much progress with anyone other than John... this tribe is very quiet, and I don't know if that's due to many different timezones, or inactivity, or what have you. Regardless I'm a little worried about this challenge, but hopefully a win can be pulled out.

Its so quiet dawg

ok i love selfie scavenger hunts so this challenge is great. as for my tribe mates, roxy and i are in F6 in atomic together, so thats a interesting. Drew H was in that season and like. i have no idea what our relationship is going to be like ydgfs. the only person who I haven't talked to at all is Odd. i should get on that

Oh these motherfuckers think they got me found. They think they know me. Expect drama.

My tribe is ducking stacked with people I like so this is hot hopefully we can get this scav hunt done and get max point WEW

Well. I’m doing another one. Do I have the time? Nope! Is this a good idea? No ma’am/sir. But I’m doing it anyway. This is an...interesting tribe for me to be on. I have my one true love, Sam Drachus, and a tribe of people that probably don’t know he’s my husband. Of course, a pregame relationship never equates to an ingame relationship necessarily, so I will not rest in my socialisation (especially given I will have ass for physical game for a while). Louise I’ve hosted twice, Ci’ere I’ve hosted and played with. Dani and Brian I don’t really know properly but they seem very inactive. I am quite sure we will lose this challenge, but hopefully I can be active and bond-build enough to be Victorious!!

i hate this challenge because im so lazy

hi!! so my social game is going pretty good so far, i'm v tight with andrea, emma and i said we don't want each other to go, john's an icon and i like talking to zach. kori doesn't talk a lot so he'll probably be an ez boot. also i think im gonna end up with the most points for our immunity so that'll probably let me be spared if we do end up losing :)))). ALSO,,,,,,,,, i found the legacy advantage bc i clicked on seamus' manga on the tumblr?? of course they hid it behind the ugly one... no one looks there.

So our first challenge is a cute scavenger hunt & one of the 10 point items is getting 50 likes on a FB post. When I initially made the post, only a few people reacted to it so I knew I was going to have to do something drastic in order to get more people’s attention. I stole Nicki Minaj’s brand & started running KWEENT (6 letters Jack :p) Radio! I put in a lot of work to get people to help me out, but I also wanted to have fun with it & in the end it paid off. I’mma bit worried however since only Louise, Sam & I have made contributions to the challenge thus far. We don’t have that much time left & there’s still three empty columns... I’ve been talking a lot to Dani who I find I probably relate to the most. They made it pretty far in the actual Survivor casting process & they have also been talking to Sam. Sam is so nice & has that straight male humor, YEET. Louise is obviously a kween & we’ve played together before so I think I could work something out with her? Toby’s timezone & schedule is tough to work through, but I think I might be able to charm him up hehe. Brian is the only person that hasn’t shown any sign of life so I’ve been pushing for him, but of course he shows up now ASDFG.

Did so many challenges but have trouble uploading to gdoc

Anxiety is a bitch. Like I already have alot of it due to work and school, but for us to be submitting things for the scavenger hunt last minute... that made my heart quicken a bit more than needed. ESPECIALLY if your video links for the video portion of the hunt DON'T WORK. Like wth ODD? Like if you're gonna submit late.. like at least check the damn links so you can actually win the points for the videos that you are submitting. OH AND IN OTHER WORDS. I didn't think Jack was gonna view my poem to him. And he watched it. I have no words. Like let me die of embarrassment because I am flummoxed with a straight man once again in my life. ALL FOR 6 MEASLY POINTS IN A GAME! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!?

That's so FETCH! Even with Odd's bumbling incapabilities, he can make us get a narrow win for reward! Maybe my frustrations were misplaced with him! But I am glad that I will not be the first boot and get to stay here for another 3 days or so! Pumped!

well just as i thought,,, TRASH this tribe has good people that i like but apart from ci'ere CHILEEEEEEE we sucked so bad we didn't deserve to win. I think it's brian that's going tbh he wasn't active till the last 4? hours of the comp and people have already said if we lose it's him so yikes guess that's what is happening.

we won the challenge which is actually surprising. Odd's links didn't work but if they did I would've had the lowest score. I was gonna do so much more but my phone won't charge !! and i went to a college fair ok. I love how i said i was good at comps during my live interview. i swear im not a liar hosts

Woo we won, I put a fair amount of work in, so I'm glad we got results... unfortunately it didn't REALLY matter because of how badly the losing tribe did.

I think I have a decent shot of making a 4-person alliance with John, Andrea, and Loris. Hopefully I can get that going through. Emma is LIKELY the weak link on the tribe, which is fine by me she has yet to talk to me really, so I'd have no qualms voting her out.

I have a funny story. I spent a half hour walking and looking for a license plate with ce on it. I had to use scooter plates. Half the cars only have one letter. When I finally found the plate parked in front of a restaurant . I got on one knee to take the pic. It was night so flash went out. A guy came out and demanded I delete the photo. Not kidding. He was not happy. I couldn’t explain what I was doing. I deleted it. He drove away. I was really bummed. So I got on my motorcycle and drove to the university where I knew there were hundreds of scooters. I slowly drove while looking on both sides of the parking lot. I must of looked at more than 500 plates. Finally I found one. Guess what? It was the same scooter from earlier. This time the guy not around. I was still really nervous like I was breaking the law. When the flash went off I was waiting for the guy to start running at me. He didn’t. Success.

Well, I'm a bit scared. Apparently, Sam has already found something? Or someone has... Item 39 purportedly received the "There was something there, but isn't anymore" treatment, which is Scary AF! Like, if someone has an idol THIS early in the game...if I got idol'd out THIS early in the game!!

But, I suspect that whatever was hidden in Position 39 was not, in fact, an idol, but was rather some clue or aspect to the idol system. 50 possibilities isn't enough of a competition space for an idol search, right? I mean, I bloody hope so because the alternative is that a Zosma idol is already flying around at the literal first tribal council and, man, I don't need that paranoia right now.

Winning this challenge was way easier than I expected, I figure some inactive is about to die on the other tribe so no worries there. I had a blast this thing is gonna be a fun time if the challenges continue to be similar to this.

Well it's day 2, John and Andreaa seem on board for an alliance, now all I need is to hear what Loris thinks and if he seems on board, I've got my 4-some right there. Which'll leave Emma and Big Z on the outs. Which is fine, we could even split the votes in case of an idol if we felt like it.

But I can't afford to get too comfortable, players can be real snakes and I can't let myself be too trusting. I just have to work on being super relateable and someone people feel comfortable talking to.

I just hope I didn't start "talking game" too early…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onr3BoPGJzA

I guess I cast assess now! Loris: he is a mood and playing hard but he likes me so for now we r gucci. He is super fun to talk to and we share idol guesses so hes aight! I dont want to work long term with him. Kori: Yikes. He's super inactive but he was like i like u lets form an alliance so ofc I'm like ok. He left me on read on the first day and randomly offered and im like k wyd i wasnt born yesterday Emma: Queen? I knew her before this we used to be married until she deactivated and I divorced her but like that literally not even the point. Shes kinda inactive and very on the bottom besides Kori so I'm hoping I can convince Loris to keep her if we go to tribal twice. Big Z: Ok I have never met him before now but OMG ive heard so much about him AND I LOVE HIM!!! I get the hype and then some. I wish we talked more. I 100% would not vote him or Emma out rn. John: he's cool! I havent talked to him too much but were in an alliance Basically im really happy we won LMAO. I am in an alliance I have no plans of following through with. life is interesting. I may just go off the rails. I am predicting Brian goes home because Zosma is a facebook clusterfuck right now.

I’m winning this org... I’m in a silly alliance with kori Andrea and John that I’m not gonna take seriously but kori probably will... me and Andrea are rlly good allies and I have the legacy??? give me my money

We lost the challenge by a landslide. https://tenor.com/view/davonne-rogers-pretends-to-be-gif-6175133

Zosma was 400+ points behind the other tribes so they really did snatch us huh. I’m happy to hear that they’re active though unlike some of my tribemates for the past two days l m a o. I scored more than half of our aggregate, so I think I should be set to survive this vote.

Toby wants to share idol info and I can’t decline that so I gave him fake receipts hehe. He also stated that I’m the person he’s connected to the most. Sam says that I’m easy to talk to as well, so I think my social game is going pretty well at the moment!

Sam wants to vote for anybody that isn’t him & he also said he loved me 😳 L i s t e n: love is a BIG word (to me at least) & you can’t just throw it out to anyone & their mother, Sam. Louise is in the same mindset as myself as she’s talked to Toby/Dani more than Brian so let’s just snipe Brian right? Well, Toby comes to me after scoring 0 & says he has a “gut feeling” that we should vote out Dani because Brian is preoccupied with Mount Olympus. Does that make any sense? We just lost the challenge by an extremely large margin & you want to keep the person that doesn’t prioritize this game? Go to sleep Toby, you’re drunk. I guess it’s hard to judge who will be more active since it’s only round uno. Dani was present, but only sent in one thing…& Brian had internet problems. I had a great conversation with Dani the first day, but it’s day three now. Should I stick my neck out for him? I told Toby what he wanted to hear because it was 3AM for him & he wanted to sleep, but there’s still a lot of time left & I want Brian dead.

I need to talk to people more often hn

I mean this vote is as simple as it gets, it's basically a battle of which inactive should we kick. Most votes seem to be going on brian, which I do feel bad about cuz I love him in mount Olympus and feel he could easily be a number to drag. but at the same time he's been so inactive to the point where he'll probs just die at a swap or something. I feel bad for toby since he already voted dani but im sure he'd understand with all the timezone differences, I would like dani to go but if brian stayed, we would probs lose again then he would just leave so rip

Hi!! It's me john coffey!!! So I love the theme of my tribe being like the emotional players and I love the vibe of all my tribemates. However I know that the emotional players are also sometimes the messiest players because I forsure fall into that category sometimes!! So far I have just been trying to chill tf out and get to know people, and use the scavenger hunt to show that I really want to be here. I may not have as much to offer in future tribe challenges so I like being able to use scavenger hunts to really go ham. I got the highest score on our tribe and I think the second highest behind Roxy so woo! Now let's move on to my fellow tribe mates. Kori - the only person I was familiar with going into this game. I played with him in my most recent game where he witnessed me win. We had a good bond the entire game but he also voted for me when he thought I was the majority vote, setting aside any connection I had made with him, so that is always kinda going to be on my mind in this game. But as of now he is the person I trust the most. Andrea - I LOVE her! We bonded quickly over being messes so that's always fun. I could see myself growing close with her in this game. Loris- I really like him, I always like British guys LOL it's been kinda difficult getting to talk to him at a time that works for both of us but I really like him so far Emma- she hosted me a few years ago though I didn't know it was her at first, I like her but haven talked to her as much as the others Big z - I like him though we haven't talked too much but I immediately see him as my biggest threat at this point. Just something about him idk.

As far as other tribe members go - drew Heuser is one of my favorite people to have played orgs with. He was the reason I was first boot in my first Tumblr game but has remained a dear friend of mine ever since. I met him in person and he's the besssst. If I have a chance to play with him I'm excited to see what the outcome will be.

https://youtu.be/TfQ4Xmeb2J8

Brian is voted out 5-1.

#episode #flyinghigh

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maxine-to-meet-you · 6 years

Text

It is real. It was real.

As I have accepted my defeat and the fact that we really can't be together; As I have said my goodbye I would want to tell my story about you first. To know and remember that once in my life this happened. You happened. That this is real, that this was real.

And so here it goes...

I've just made a fascinating, interesting, weird, creepy, scary (the list goes on) realization. For you to understand let's start from the beginning.

It was from a few years back around 2014 or 2015. It was the last quarter of the year I think. All I remember was the feeling of cold weather, the dark sky like it was always going to rain, the wet and cold air; the gloomy weather yet my favorite one it's like the feeling of sadness and hurt; it felt familiar, it felt like contented sadness, it felt relaxing and comforting, the bittersweet kind of thing. Anyway, I was just looking for something to read. Something... new for my taste, something different. All I want was to read something exciting, nerve wrecking, something peculiar. I didn't know that day that soon it will become my guilty pleasure. As I was searching the internet and typing in the keywords your work pops out. Being curious and all I opened the link and sure as hell it was a hit! Genius! I have read a lots of book but by that time your work is my favorite one. I love it even now it's been years. And so I keep on reading and reading and get frustrated and irritated every time the next chapter is not available yet and you left it hanging at the very good part. I have to wait an agonizingly God knows how long just for you to post the next chapter. And Christ! It is still happening now even in your sequel. Will you ever change?

So, while I was waiting for the update I will visit your pages and accounts which by the way you generously posted for your followers. I remember making a dummy account just to like your page and follow you not to creep you out but of course to keep the whole thing to my family. Then I saw how responsive you are to your followers (we were just small numbers back then). I summoned all the strength and courage I had just to send you a message on Tumblr. I know it sounds creepy and it must be, probably, but what can I say you don't know me and probably don't want to know and truth be told I am just one of your many fans. So basically I am nothing for you.

Then I remember my favorite line in your book the line that I sometimes hope that is true and maybe someday might actually happened to me but not in the complicated way. The line goes like this "Being deeply love by someone gives you strength but loving someone deeply give you courage." It was the words of Lao Tzu. I never knew back then that I would fall in love with your wits, words... with you. I am a fan of your work but I didn't know that eventually I will fall for you... you for being you.

I have known you by the information that you posted yourself and with our little talks. I find you interesting, cool, witty, funny, with sense of humor which is sometimes weird and dark but still funny, and most of all you are smart and know what you want. You are so confident and so sure of yourself. Then I realized that somehow and somewhat we are kind of the same but kind of different. It was like, like you are me in the parallel universe. I like you since then but love was way out of the question at that moment.

So I have sent you a message and to my horror and excitement you replied. Happiest day of my life. I can still remember the feeling. I was over the top happy every time you replied. We talked and every time you reply back then I would know you a little better than before. A little more than before. You've told me that I am older by 2 or 3 years and I was taller than you by an inch or two. And I don't know if that is still the case now. You've told me that almost every year you are at the Caribbean for your vacation. You've told me that you love spicy food and that your dad will bring you to Jerusalem or somewhere as your gift. I remember when you asked me if I have travelled abroad and back then I haven't so I told you no. I've told you that I wanted to go to Venice to do some boating and you told me that I should go there before it sinks and become the next Atlantis. I told you that I always ride my motorcycle when I am bored or wanted to roam around and I remember that you said that you would like to join me. I welcome the idea and got excited actually and to be honest if we are not thousand of miles apart I would pick you up and I promise that we will go wherever you want to go. But unfortunately fate hates me. I remember your flirtatious comment about riding my motorcycle and me trying my best to flirt back - flirting is never my forte and I really suck at it. I remember when you sent me a link about your favorite commercial of Ducati and BMW. I was impressed that you even bother to look for it just to send it to me. And truth be told, come on that commercial was sexy as hell. Who wouldn't dream to have one of those. I remember when I told you that my favorite car was the Audi r8 spider and you told me that you love it too. And as I read the sequel of your book and the Audi r8 and the motorcycle was the vehicles of your characters I thought and wished that you thought of me when you wrote it. That somehow I crossed your mind. But the best part of it all was when you called me your vehicle soulmate, you could have just remove the vehicle part but I was so overjoyed at that moment that it doesn't really matter. And truth be told I wasn't lying when I told you that your eyes and your face was the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen. Sometimes I wished that we are the characters of your story and I promise to be the mature one but of course we are living in more favorable environment than theirs. I remember when I wanted to print your 1st book, have it covered and bind then send it you as a gift. I remember that you love batman. I remember how excited I was when you posted a video. At last I can hear your voice. I remember how your room looked like. It was dark but I can see your drum set in the background and you are whispering so that your mom won't hear you. And I remember when you said that you have a brother who knows the real you. But then everything stops. Everything change. Maybe you've got bored talking to me and of course you met someone. A real one, the one who can literally be with you.

Years passed I was watching NBA and I just realized that I chose my favorite team because that is where you are. And I remember how worried sick I was during the bombing incident there and felt relieved when you posted that you are safe and you were just sleeping the whole time. Lazy ass. I also remember when I was having lunch with my family and so shocked to see a face just like yours. It was really really weird for me. I even took a picture of that person, discreetly of course. Thats when I realized that I was getting so into you and I have to back down. It was starting to hurt me, I was longing for you and I am wanting things that I can never have. And the fact that we really can't be together is tearing me up inside. It's killing me. I have a lots of issue myself so I have to let you go and the idea of you. I don't know what happened to you after that but I am sure everything works out for you just fine.

Then this past few weeks, I don't know if it is the familiarity of this weather that is giving but I soon found myself to be drawn back to you and this time stronger than before. And so as I look back to it and I have realized that I was in love with you back then and until now I am still in love with you. But it was funny how fate hates me so much that it decided to play games with me. Having my hopes up and then crushed it to the ground. But I know now that you happened and I was and still am in love with you. I am in love with you even though it was a game of fate. I am in love with you even though we can never ever be together. I am in love with you even if we didn't meet. I am so in love in love with you even though it kills me inside. Wanting something I can never ever have. Loving someone like you. Loving you. And somehow I was so happy because even though I can't have you you happened to me.

#mystory #love #fate

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